#steak cut chips

[yumkitchen]

[aspiringhorrorauthor]

Americans, what is the thing about Five Guys? It is hands down the worst chain restaurant I’ve ever been in. It markets itself like its pub-fare burgers, and charges more than a small independent pub would charge for a burger that’s the same quality as a McDonalds burger while touting that they’re ‘soooooo much better’. Like why is it now the go-to “good” burger joint now it’s shite

[vengoesbatshitcrazywithpolls]

Honey, I’d eat crayons :)

21.13 btw.

[fuckingrecipes]

Hey friend I basically learned to cook from you (you took all the intimidation out of it, and gave me my first meal that other people liked) so I come back like a decade later asking if you have any advice about knives. I don't love cooking but I recognize that the right tools make any task much more satisfying and also I am just so tired of my cheap knives going dull immediately so: what exactly is a "good knife"? Any advice on how to recognize one, and take care of it once acquired? Many many thanks.

Thank you so much, that's really heartwarming to hear <3

Regarding knives: I'm going to go over some basic care & maintenance that will help knives stay sharper, longer... and then some knife recommendations.

Always cut on a cutting board. Wood or plastic. Don't cut food against stone, metal, or glass as they'll fuck up the edge.

Don't use the sharp side of the knife to scrape food off the cutting board. If you wanna use the knife as a scraper, flip it over and use the non-sharpened edge.

Once or twice a year, sit down and sharpen all your knives.

Don't use those shitty little "knife sharpeners", they don't actually give the knife a good or stable edge. Instead, take 30 minutes to learn how to use a whetstone. They're shockingly easy to learn to use, and super effective. You can make a shitty $11 walmart knife razor sharp. Here's another video about it.

Ideally, you should hand wash and towel dry your knives right after you're finished prepping food with them. Best practice is to avoid leaving it in water to soak, and to avoid putting it in the dishwasher. Cleaning it immediately keeps the edge nice, longer, and heads off any rust or corrosion that can happen from leaving acidic juice on the metal.

ALL KNIVES need to be sharpened 2-3x per year if you're a home chef who cooks almost every night. 4-6 months of excellent sharpness, then becoming kinda dull, is normal for a good knife.

Even a $700 knife will eventually get dull and need sharpening, if you're using it frequently. Because knives are tools, they get used, and in being used the metal gets a little damaged. The edge rolls, dents, or gets chipped. So, it needs to be sharpened.

--

This guy gives an EXCELLENT overview of knives.

You do not need to spend a ton of money for decent knives.

Victorinox and Mercer are solid workhorse brands that make good-quality knives, which you can get for between $20-$60 per knife. Really great for any home kitchen. Wusthof and Zwilling are a little more expensive, and even nicer quality. More expensive than that, and you're looking at high-carbon steels meant to be used by pros for hours and hours, every day. A home chef doesn't need that.

---

There's a lot of specialty knives out there, but I always come back to the 8" chef's knife. Two chef's knives lets me cut raw meat with one, and everything else with the other.

I also have a cleaver and a bread knife for Melons/Bones and Bread respectively, and a small set of smooth-blade steak knives.

Tbh, most people think they have a shitty knife, but really they've just been using it for 3 years straight and never once sharpened it.

[oh-stars]

Eddie Doesn't Share Food

Love is sharing food.

a @steddielovemonth prompt | 1131 words | CW: N/A | Rating: G

--

It’s a common fact among Hellfire that Eddie doesn’t share food easily. He can provide food to everyone and if he knows you’re going without, he’ll gladly give you all of his share, or at the very least a good portion of it. But outside of a necessity or hosting an event, Eddie’s not one to share. 

When they get a basket of fries for the table after games, Eddie takes handfuls at a time. He’ll eat one and place the rest on a napkin in front of him. He’ll eat a few here and there, grab a few more from the basket, and then eat the remainder from his napkin.

They’ll all be sharing bites and trying each other’s meals when they’re out to eat, swapping onion rings for fries and bites of steak for the grilled chicken, but not Eddie. Never Eddie. If you even ask for a bite of his food, he’ll give you that stare, the one he usually saves for his villain NPCs or when you ask a dumb question in Hellfire. 

So you can imagine Dustin’s surprise when Eddie splits his burger with Steve unprompted. 

“Are you sure, man?” Steve asks, taking the sandwich from Eddie’s hands. 

Eddie nods, already reaching to take a bite of his half. “Go for it.” 

Steve shrugs. “Want a part of mine?” He offers his plate, where his BLT is already cut in half and one side is completely untouched. 

“Sure,” Eddie says. 

Dustin looks between the two of them, unable to even touch his chicken fingers, as they go back to eating like this is a completely normal thing for them to do. And if it was literally anyone else other than Eddie fucking Munson, Dustin may be inclined to agree that it is. But since Eddie is the initiating party, it is assuredly not normal.

And he knows a thing or two about freaky things. 

“Close your mouth,” Steve says as he tosses a fry at him. “You’ll catch flies and I am not about to perform the heimlich because you decided to swallow flies instead of fries.” 

Eddie snorts, smirking through his mouthful. 

Dustin scrubs his face, then shakes his head so hard his hat nearly falls off. “What am I looking at?” he asks, eyes narrowed at Eddie. 

“We’re eating. It’s what you’re supposed to do at lunch, Henderson,” Eddie says. He reaches forward to thump the bill of Dustin’s cap so it falls over his forehead. “If you don’t hurry it up, we’re leaving you here and heading to the movie without you.” 

“You wouldn’t,” Dustin says. 

“Try us,” Steve says, shrugging as he wipes his mouth. 

Dustin opens his mouth, then closes it. He’s not about to goad Steve into a dare. He’s seen how that plays out one too many times. Instead, he vows to see if this is a singular occurrence or if it happens again. 

Which it does, the next week when they’re setting up for Hellfire. 

Eddie’s got a bag of chips in his hands as he looks over his notes, leaning back into his chair. They’re all talking amongst themselves as Eddie gets in the zone, regrouping for the session and filling in Jeff on what he missed since he had to miss the last session for a family thing. 

Steve brings a two-liter in and some red solo cups, filling it up for everyone who wants the pop. “What about you, Eds?” Steve asks, leaning against the back of Eddie’s chair. 

“Yes, please,” Eddie says, glancing up from his notebook. He’s holding a chip, has been for a moment, likely too lost in his thoughts to remember he was snacking to begin with. And Dustin has the honors of watching, horrified, as Eddie offers Steve the chip. Only, Steve doesn’t take it like a normal person, he dips down and lets Eddie place the chip into his mouth. 

“Thanks,” Steve says as he leaves Eddie’s freshly poured cup on the side table Eddie has next to his chair. Then he disappears back into the kitchen.

Eddie just smiles and goes back to his notebook, hand fumbling for the bag to grab another. 

Dustin whips around to his companions, eyes wide and gesturing toward their dungeon master. “You guys saw that, right?” 

Gareth’s eyes are narrow, but he nods. “He’s been brainwashed,” he mumbles. 

“Or maybe he’s just growing up,” Jeff says. 

“Eddie?” Mike scoffs. “Please. The guy’s so stubborn he’d rather die than give up his beliefs. And not sharing food is one of his biggest ones.” 

“Apparently not,” Lucas says, motioning to the bag of chips Eddie’s still digging through. 

It happens again when Steve comes back in to say he’s running to the store, pausing only to take the offered chip from Eddie, this time like a normal person. 

They don’t even get a chance to process it before Eddie’s announcing the start of the session. 

Dustin racks his brain on a way to bring it up, to investigate further, but once again, he doesn’t get the chance. 

He’s staying the night at Steve’s, with Eddie and Robin, to watch movies and celebrate Steve’s birthday in a lowkey way. The four of them are relaxing and enjoying the night together, simple and quiet in comparison to the party’s usual festivities. 

Steve dishes out the small cake Robin had made him, slicing and passing out plates to all three of them. He doesn’t take one for himself though. Instead, he plops back down onto the couch and practically sits on Eddie, tucking himself under Eddie’s arm. 

Eddie offers a bite of his cake, unprompted and like he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. 

All Dustin can do is watch as Eddie and Steve alternate bites, eating from the same slice like they were a couple or somethi–

Oh. 

Dustin feels like his brain is hit with a thousand thoughts at the speed of light as it all falls into place. Huh. Okay then. He leans back into the recliner he’s sitting in, his own plate held close to his chest, and lets himself enjoy the too-sweet icing. It tastes like how he feels; happiness and wonder in the form of cake and icing. 

If Eddie’s willing to share his food with Steve, then he must really love him and that’s the kind of love Steve deserves. 

He feels like he could burst with happiness for his friends, for the possibilities this will open for them. Rather than express those thoughts, even if he really wants to, Dustin shoves the biggest bite into his mouth and does a little dance. 

Steve laughs at him, eyes all crinkly and bright even as he accepts another bite from Eddie. Yeah, Dustin could get used to seeing Steve that happy.

--

Thanks to @lady-lostmind for betaing!

Ao3 Link

[elinorasims]

Build | Strangerville | Ziggy's Diner

Lot Info

Type | Restaurant Lot Size | 30x20 World | Strangerville Value | 94,857 Baths | 3 CC | No Packs | Unrestricted Ziggy's Diner is a classicly retro mashup of Googie and passenger train inspired styles situated in Strangerville Plaza.

Ziggy's is a compact restaurant and bar combo with a Strangerville twist: classic red booths and an elongated mid-century modern bar layout meets sci-fi inspired and 50's-kitsch inspired cluttered decor..

It's giving the diner from the movie 'Paul'. I hope. lol

Ziggy's has a fully customised menu featuring some Mountain States inspired comfort dishes and some American classics (full menu below the cut).

DOWNLOAD >>

Interior Tour

Bar

Staff Areas

Floor Plan

| hi my loves

hopefully you like this one- it was super fun to build and I'm finding my feet a bit more building for this save, i think!

it's been playtested (briefly lol) and should be fully functional and a smooth enough restaurant experience for your sims to enjoy.

i love Paul so much aha we watched it this past weekend and i was immediately like 'yup. gotta go do a strangerville build now.'

| dag dag fn. <3

Ziggy's Diner Menu

Drinks water ; lemonade ; milk ; orange juice ; coffee ; cream cola ; fizzy fruity drink ; pitch black ; root beer float ; soda ; tang and zing ; boiler room ; eapa ; juice on the rocks ; wrench ; galactic vita-water ; silent film ; sour punch ; sunset valley ; alien juice ; cupid juice ; space energy drink ; jet juice

Appetisers chips and salsa ; mac and cheese ; bowl of olives ; bread roll ; french fries ; whole wheat bread ; popcorn shrimp ; garden salad ; cheesy bread ; grilled plantains ; seafood chowder ; soft shell crab cake ; empanadas ; watermelon salad

Mains mac and cheese ; chicken nuggets ; popcorn shrimp ; baked potato ; hot dog ; lobster roll ; veggie burger ; chicken and waffles ; fried chicken sliders ; mushroom waffles ; sausage and peppers ; scrambled eggs with bacon ; seafood chowder ; tofu dog ; fish tacos ; hamburger ; fried fish ; pancakes ; aubergine Parmesan ; sweet corn pizza ; mushroom steak ; french toast ; vegetable chilli ; egg white omelette ; mushroom soup ; bbq ribs plate ; blackened bass ; gumbo ; steak

Dessert neapolitan ice cream ; rainbow sorbet ; vanilla ice cream ; alien fruit tart ; cream filled donut ; cream snack cake ; honey cake ; plain waffles ; rainbow brownies ; hamburger cake ; chocolate chip cookie ; apple pie ; banana cream pie ; pumpkin pie ; simcity cheesecake ; fruit cobbler

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi - "Dungeon Meals" from volumes 5 to 8

More info under the cut

These are from chapter 29 to 56 (Volumes 5 to 8)

1 to 4

There were a total of 24 'Meals' this time in 28 chapters, for more info on the counting check the first post

Here's the meals of each chapter and who made them.

Chapter 29 - Red Dragon VII Meal: Boneless Dragon Ham Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 30 - Good Medicine Meal: Orcish Decoction Cooked by: Leed

Chapter 31 - Dryad Meal: Jack-O-Lantern Potage & Sauteed Dryad Buds with Cheese Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 33 - Sea Serpent, part 2 Meal: Portable Meal Set For Adventurers Cooked by: ? (ready made rations)

Chapter 34 - Cockatrice Meal: Eisbein-Style Cockatrice & Dyad Bud Sauerkraut With a Side of Grilled Anti-Petrify Herb Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 35 - Cleaners Meal 1: Cockatrice & Egg Ankake Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Stone Dish Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 36 - Dried with Sweet Sake (Mirinboshi) Meal: Eastern Style Cuisine Cooked by: Maizuru, Senshi and Chilchuck (Benichidori, Hien and Tade helped with prepping)

Chapter 38 - Chimera Meal: Omelette Made With a Harpy Egg Cooked by: Laios with Senshi's help

Chapter 40 - Shapeshifter 2 Meal: Memories of the 5th Floor Pilaf, Sweet Dyad and Whole 5th Floor Piccata Cooked by: Shapeshifters, Senshi, Marcille and Chilchuck

Chapter 41 - Hag Meal: Risotto Made From Mushrooms Collected at the Graveyard & Cheese from the Orcs Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 42 - Nightmare Meal: Nightmare Steamed in Alcohol Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 43- Ice Golem Meal: Ice Golem Chawan-Mushi & Cooked Fish that was Inside the Ice Golem Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 44 - Barometz Meal: Barometz Balut (Alternative Name: Barometz Chops) Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 45 - Egg Meal: Souful Eggs Benedict Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 46 - The Golden Country Meal: Vegetables in Jellied Slime, Rack of Beef Ribs, Bladefish Loaf, Potato and Rabbit Soup Cooked by: Golden Country Citizens

Chapter 47 - Griffin Meal: The Breakfast Senshi Made (Pancakes, Sausage, Pumpkin Soup, Scrambled Eggs) Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 48 - Familiars Meal: Skyfish and Chips Cooked by: Laios

Chapter 49 - Griffin Soup Meal 1: Griffin Soup (Upper Body), Griffin Soup (Lower Body) Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Hippogriff Soup Cooked by: Laios

Chapter 50 - Dumplings 1 Meal: Hippogriff Dumplings Cooked by: Senshi, Laios, Marcille, Chilchuck and Izutsumi (everyone)

Chapter 51 - Dumplings 2 Meal: Changeling-Dumplings via Fairy Ring Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 55 - On Floor One 3 Meal: Hamburger Steak with Changeling sauce Cooked by: Senshi and Marcille

Chapter 56 - Bicorn Meal: Crispy Crunchy Mushroom Sandwich Cooked by: Senshi?

The chapters that had no "meal is done" panel were:

32 - Sea Serpent Part 1

37 - Harpy

39 - Shapeshifter 1

52 - Bacon and Eggs

53 - On Floor One 1

54 - On Floor One 2

Again most of them are the multi parts. chapter 47 originally didn't have the title and stats but the panel looked just like a food is done panel so I went to check on the official release and they added it so it's here. Chapter 37 I think its so far the only non multi part chapter where no food is prepped or eaten, in chapter 52 they make and drink tea even tho there's no special panel.

Now for stats.

Senshi made/worked on 17, 18 if you count the Crispy Crunchy Mushroom Sandwich and 19 if you count the small help with the omelet, I'll count the sandwich so 18.

Chilchuck worked on 3 meals

Marcille worked on 3 meals, one of them she was making a potion but it got used in a sauce

Laios made/worked on 4 meals, 2 of them by himself! And one of them with minimal Senshi help.

Izutsumi helped with the dumplings, you go izutsumi.

Out of the 24 meals in these 4 volumes, 22 were food and 1 was medicine and 1 was a goopy brick

Out of the 22 foods Senshi worked on 17 of them (1 of his was the brick), 3 of them were Laios, 1 of them was ready made food and 1 was the golden kingdom citizens

The eastern style meal was mostly made by Maizuru but Senshi helped.

There was a few panels that were small/had dialog in them but I counted cause they had the meal title, dragon ham title appears twice but I only counted as one meal.

Once again, I'm bad with numbers if I got anything wrong feel free to correct me!

[ghostssweetgirl]

jealousy simon 'ghost' riley x reader (smut)

Pairing: fem reader x simon 'ghost' riley [smut]

CW: fem reader, fem pronouns used, slight dom ghost, jealousy, alcohol intake, possessive/jealous/makeup sex, p in v sex

nsfw under the cut ! minors , do not interact !! 18 ++ !!

alternate version here

word count: 2.6k~

Always being close to your Lieutenant Ghost, it wasn't ordinarily weird when you went out to pubs, bars, or the combined, such as where you'll be tonight - a busy bar/restaurant downtown. Except for this time, you had been in your feelings and discovered your own towards your superior. You contemplated telling him, but to be safe, you wanted to wait until you had a few drinks in, in case he doesn't accept it, you can blame it on the alcohol. (lmao blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a alcohol 🤪 I'm so funny guys... LAUGH OR ELSE😈)

You ordered your first drink and found a table to sit at while waiting for him. Of course, it would be hard not to notice him, as big of a man as he was. So, you busied yourself on your phone in the meantime. 

--

15 minutes go by and you sigh, looking up to the entrance at the right time when he walked in. Your face instinctually lit up, waving at him. He returned the wave before gathering a bartender's attention and being handed a bottle of whiskey as he made his way over to you, grunting as he sat down. 

"What's up, Lieutenant?" fuck you were already being awkward.

He tilted his head, noticing you acting strange but not pushing it. "Hello to you, too."

You grabbed the menus and handed him one before barely skimming through it, closing it, and setting it back. None of their entrees looked appetizing, so you're going with safe food.

"I don't know why you grab a menu. Y'always get the same thing," he joked. "Tenders and chips."

"And you always get a steak. Medium rare with scalloped potatoes and mac n' cheese," you played along. You knew him well, if not better than he knew you. Who were you kidding, he was a very observant man. You wouldn't be surprised if he knew more about you than you thought. 

"Guess you do pay attention," he chuckled as he closed his menu. He lifted his mask and took a long swig of whiskey. 

--

After you enjoy your meals, you drink about 6 [or however many cups/shots you want, idc] more cups while Ghost's on his second bottle, you're filled with laughter, and feel very giddy. Your body jolted as you remembered what you wanted to tell him tonight, and by gauging his mood, it really wouldn't be a bad idea, especially at this point. 

"Need another one. Be back," he told you, getting up to the bar. It was pretty busy now, a bunch of women gathered at the front. 

You tried to keep your eyes off of him, and you even picked up your phone to attempt to distract yourself, but it stayed in your hand, falling to the table as you watched what was happening. A woman, a very attractive one honestly, peeked at Ghost, checking him out and smiling ear to ear as she approached him. You figured of course he would look, she's showing off her whole body in that damn outfit she was wearing. You couldn't read her lips because of that damned big smile, but it was very obvious she was flirting. 

You watched as her hand bravely snaked up his forearm. He turned his head slowly, and his eyes scanned over her body. Oh, how your heart sank. But you pursed your lips, nearly fighting back tears as you watched the interaction. He shifted in his step, still waiting for his bottle. His head bobbed as he spoke, and you only hoped he wasn't reciprocating her intentions. 

And if that wasn't bad enough, soon as two barstools cleared up, they sat next to each other. Your breath fastened as you kept trying to pry your eyes away. His hand lay on the small of her back while she sat up on the stool. You're finally able to look away, rage filling your head as you pick up your wallet and pull enough cash to cover the bill and then some, with a hefty tip. 

What the fuck was taking so long for the drinks, and why the fuck was he touching her? At this point, you didn't want to know. You were ready to confess your feelings, to hope that you could call him yours, but of course, some slut would pull him away - ruin your chance. You almost saw red as you huffed, picking up your stuff and storming out the door, walking a good while to where you parked, damn the busy city. 

She'll keep him busy, y/n, don't worry. He won't notice you're gone, and sure as hell won't care - you told yourself. 

You were about 10 feet from your car when you surprisingly heard a deep voice calling your name, getting closer every second. 

"Y/N!" he called.

You ignored him, booking it into your car, and fiddling with the keys to unlock it. Goddamn, if he wasn't as fast as he was, you barely got your key into the door when he took your keys away from the door, grabbed your wrist, turning you to face him.

"What the bloody hell has gotten into you, y/n?" he asked in a stern voice, concerned. "You've been acting weird all night, talk to me."

You rolled your eyes. You bit your tongue as you didn't want to say anything too mean, but fuck if you weren't livid with him. It wasn't his fault, you knew that. You know he didn't know and couldn't read your damn mind, but for some reason you expected him to. You huffed, not being able to help your venomous tone as you replied, "Nothing! Nothing is wrong! I'm going home!"

You once again try to open the door, hurriedly trying to escape. 

He slammed the car door shut, towering over you, almost raising his voice. "What the fuck is your problem, y/n? Fuckin' tell me. I'm not going back and forth with you and I'm not fucking chasing you. Tell me what the fuck is wrong."

Tears pricked your eyes, finally falling as you stammered, trying to find the words. You gave up, looking at the ground. Very careful with his words, he gently cupped your chin. "Hey, hey. Come on," he sighed. "Don't give me a hard time. Just tell me."

"I-I just wish you would notice how I feel for you, Ghost! I've had a fucking crush on you for... I don't know how long now! And seeing you flirt with that... that bitch! I just... I got so mad, I was..." you sniffled, stopping yourself from going on a ramble and trying not to be disrespectful towards some random girl who honestly didn't deserve it as you knew it wasn't right to hate on people. 

"Flirtin'? I was flirtin' with her? Sweetie, no..." He wiped your tears away with his thumbs, carefully not to smudge your eyeliner. "Fuckin' hell, I'm sorry. That was nothing, y/n. It meant nothing."

"Yeah, right," you scoff, finding it hard to believe him, remembering how he was looking at her. "I'm sorry. I should have never said anything. Please, just let me go home."

"Y/n... Let me get us an Uber... We've been drinkin' luv," his voice softened, showing genuine concern for you. While it was somehow convincing, you still felt anger. "Will you let me come home with you? Please."

You don't think you've ever heard him say 'please' like this before. You fought with yourself mentally, until of course, you caved in. 

"Whatever," you replied. 

--

You didn't talk to him on the drive home, making it obvious you were mad at him as you faced yourself against the window. He tried to touch your shoulder in comfort but you pushed him away. When the car finally came to a stop, you got out in a hurry, and for no reason, sped walk to your door even though you know full and damn well you invited him back here with you. 

You locked yourself in the bathroom as you needed a moment to straighten up and change into pajamas. 

--

Finally calming down, you walk to your hallway. Looking back and forth between your bedroom and the living room, your body moved on its own to where he was. 

You both make eye contact as you come and sit down. You sit down, hugging your thighs to your chest. "So..."

"So. You have feelings for me, yeah?"

"Yeah... I guess I do, so now what? I ruined our friendship?" you shrugged, trying to find any bit of discomfort in his face - eyes - that damn mask. 

"No," he shook his head, leaning into his knees, keeping eye contact. "Not at all."

"Well," you look down. "Now what, Lieutenant?"

"Quit callin' me that."

As you find his eyes again, they seem more relaxed as they look you up and down. "Simon."

"Okay... Simon," you repeated his name.

Awkward fucking silence. Fuck it, you were going to sleep.

"Since we're fine, I'm going to sleep."

"Not yet you are," he softly groaned, getting up, listening to his knees crack before he knelt before you, a sight you must admit was heavenly. Knees spread on the ground, still at face level. His hands rested on his thick, muscular thighs. "Y/n... I do like you. Have for a long time."

You have to shake your head to look away from his bottom half. "Do you mean that? Or are you just saying that?"

He looked at your hands, softly pulling them away. Your thighs spread as they fell on the couch. His thumbs rubbed the top of your hands. "Mean that, truly." He pulled away from one hand, lifting his mask above his soft, pink lips before he planted a loving kiss on your hand, before turning it over to kiss at your palm, letting you cradle his face. 

You relaxed into his touch, a breath you've been holding for a while finally releasing. His soft eyes met yours for a moment, you saw the universe. Time stopped as you both leaned into a passionate kiss, he cups both sides of your face as he takes in all your mouth had to offer, every taste lingering from your fruity drinks mixed with his tobacco and whiskey combination. 

It wasn't long before he hoisted you up, letting your legs wrap around his torso while he blindly walked in the direction where your bedroom would be. The kiss only broke when he asked you which door to go into.

He hovered over you as he set you on your bed, the bed sinking in where his hands held himself up. He moved on from your lips to your jaw, sucking down into your neck, licking a stripe up your pulse. His knee maneuvered between your thighs, grinding into your heat, surely already sopping wet. Finally feeling how he touches you, kisses you, handles you - you could orgasm alone from just this. 

He lifted his hands, brushing over your lips which greedily took his index finger in, sucking on it, swirling your tongue around it, earning a sinful groan from Simon. He fixed his position, hiking his knees up next to your hips as he took his fingers out of your mouth with a pop of your lips, switching to another pair. 

His hand glides over your breast, sliding over your perked nipple, reaching underneath the band of your pajama pants, to the hem of your underwear. "You sure you want this, luv? Don't know that I can hold back if you say 'yes', doll..." he warned.

"Yes, yes, I want this," you breathed. With your consent, two thick, wet fingers found your throbbing clit, rubbing it in slow circles. Your body tensed as you gasped in pleasure, biting your lip as you looked into his dark, lustful eyes. 

"So fuckin' wet f'me. All for me, right, lovie?" he cooed.

"All- Oh! Only for you, Simon~!" you back bowed off the bed as you swear you were already approaching your first orgasm. His fingers spread your folds before finding your clenched hole. The squelch nearly bounced off the walls of your pussy as he slowly and eagerly pushed two fingers in, carefully pistoning his fingers inside of your spongy walls.

"Fuck~, so fuckin' tight and wet. Can't wait to fuck you silly. Make you feel so damn good, baby..."

"Simon!" you whined as he hit that spot, your pussy clenched relentlessly, making it harder for him to thrust in and out as your orgasm washed over you, gushing all over his fingers, slick and thickly coating his fingers. 

"What a good girl, yeah? You did so well, baby," he leaned forward, pressing his lips to your sweaty forehead as you caught your breath. He smirked as he cleaned off his fingers, and you embarrassingly watched, blushing as you saw his eyes roll back at the taste of you - your cum. "Ready for my cock, luv? Yeah?"

Oh, how you nodded before he even finished the sentence. He swiftly pulled your pants off before taking his off. He slapped your clothed pussy, watching your body shiver at the impact and chuckling at your state. 

You look down to see his cock, and your eyes widened. How you were going to take him, you didn't know but you knew it would ruin you~. 

He kissed at your naval before slowly pulling your underwear down. "Can you take all of me, lovie?"

"Mhm!" you were eager to please him, even though you were unsure if he would fit.

He teased his tip between your folds, gathering the remaining slick from your orgasm before pushing his thick head into you slowly. 

"Fuck! S-so big, Simon..." Your legs quivered but readied to lock around his hips. 

"Too tight, fuckin' hell..." he strained, having to physically hold back from slamming into you all at once. 

As he inched in deeper, your back arched higher and higher, eager to fully take him into you. He stretched you out nicely until his tip kissed your cervix, and he bottomed out. Your eyes squeezed shut as you gripped his shoulders, he leaned down to suckle at your neck, deafening his groans into your skin. 

"Don't stop, please... please," you begged. You needed more, needed him to ruin you and show you that he's yours and you his. 

"Fuckin' hell..." his eyes rolled back at your pleas, obliging instantly as he picked up the pace. Your tightness was surely going to milk him of all that he had, but he didn't think he could last too much longer due to the sweet, sweet melody he was creating from your moans that echoed off the walls. 

"Right there, Simon~! Oh my god!" your legs shook even as they were tightly locked around his waist. Your nails clutched at the back of his neck, so focused on the pleasure you didn't notice the wetness that was blood that was pooling around your nails from your scratches into him; he didn't care, he was getting off to pleasing you. 

"Cum with me, lovie..." he demanded softly.

White heat licked the back of your eyes before you saw stars, nearly blacking out. He falls on top of you as he paints your insides white, the heavy weight of his body was in fact very comforting, and you found yourself slipping off to sleep. 

He allowed you a moment before he woke you, wanting to help you clean yourself off before heading to bed. 

"You with me, darlin'?" he chuckled as he rubbed your cheek, lovingly staring into your eyes, looking over each feature of your face.

You smile. "Yeah, yeah, sorry. That was... so good."

He smirked, deeply chuckling. "Right, let's get you washed up, babe."

He helped you up, leading you to the bathroom, and that's mostly all you remembered of this night.

--

As you lay in bed, you smile yourself to sleep with Simon next to you. Before dozing off, you wondered...

Why was I mad again?

[janitorhutcherson]

Groceries, Taxes, & Laundry (MSchmidt Fluff)

hey guys, it's me. i'm finally back. did y'all miss me? the writing of this is a lil diff, sooooo please enjoy and lmk what you think!

content: pure fluff yall.

-----------------------------

Grocery shopping with Mike Schmidt is… special, to say the least. He absolutely despises it. The dreaded time comes around at the end of every week, your vegetables in the fridge starting to wilt, the meat from the previous trip used up, and all of your snacks have been devoured from late night munchie runs to the pantry (xoxo i love gardening!!!). He knows it has to happen. He knows you’ll wake him up early on Sunday morning like always, because apparently it’s “better to get it out of the way,” which he thinks is, well, to put it lightly, utter bullcrap.

You’ll drag him and Abby out to your local grocery store, her drowsy and jittery all at the same time with the promise of pancakes from a local diner after. Once you arrive, you’ll pull out all of the far-too-expensive reusable bags out of the trunk of Mike’s dingy car, ready to fill them with the necessities. Why get those for 3 bucks when you can get the plastic ones for free? He’ll never understand your logic, something about saving the environment, but it’s okay, he loves you enough not to complain, at least out loud.

The fluorescent lights of the room filled with half asleep employees hits Mike’s eyes like he’s looking directly into the sun. He lets out a small grumbled sigh as he takes in the scent of sterile cleaning supplies and produce mixed in one, with the strange almost play doh like smell of the bakery. Your eyes cut over to him, eyebrows raised, Abby’s hand in yours as she rubs her droopy eyes. Mike can’t help but to crack a small smirk, his lips pursed together. “What?” he’ll question innocently, letting out a small snicker as you go deeper into the dreary establishment. 

At the produce aisle, Mike shivers a little as the water from the misting sprinkler on the shelves hits his bare skin. He should’ve worn his jacket today, he usually does, and he’s regretting the one time he hasn’t. Your eyes are glancing over carrots, broccoli, cucumbers, and squash, all that are somehow both too ripe and too.. What's the word... unripe? Sure, he’ll go with that. His hand reaches out to grip yours in a gentle grasp as Abby points to a particularly fluffy bushel of broccoli. “I want that one! It looks like pretty trees,” she giggles out, finally starting to wake with the day. You let out a giggle of your own and Mike smiles because of how pretty your laugh is.

Next, you’re in the snack aisle, filling the cart with doritos, barbeque chips, pringles, salt and vinegar chips (mike gags when you eat them too close to him), peanut butter filled pretzels, whatever can go in Abby’s lunch box and whatever is tastiest. Mike insists on buying the cheap queso, his nose scrunching up at the price of the name brand one. He knows it doesn’t taste any different.

Now you’re looking at meats, finding chicken breasts and filets, steaks, pork, whatever was on your list from meal prepping. Yes, meal prepping, Mike did that now. Apparently stable people with stable lives who had stable relationships did that. He’d grown fond of sitting over a recipe book with you on Saturday nights, really, shoulder to shoulder, pressed up on the couch well after Abby had gone to bed. Something about it felt safe, a kind of domestic feeling he wasn’t used to.

You’re basically done now, and he couldn’t be more relieved as you make your way towards the dairy section. He grabs a few things, string cheese, yogurt, cream cheese, cheese slices for sandwiches for work. Oh, did he mention he works in construction now? It’s stable, makes good money, and he’s home on time to see you, to be a husband-not-yet-husband (he plans to propose soon, but that’s another story), a brother-more-like-a-father, a person with a regular schedule. He looks over at you, watching as you and Abby skim over the different selections of chocolate and strawberry milk, finally settling on a carton of strawberry. He once again scrunches his nose, smiling all at once. “Nasty,” he mumbles out. Abby playfully hits his arm and you lean in for a kiss.

Finally, thank god, you push the cart towards the bakery section, grabbing bread and a sweet treat or two for the week. Cookies, a birthday cake for no particular reason, cheese danishes, whatever his little family was feeling for the week, that’s what it’d be. This week, it was a huge box of chocolate chip cookies and some kind of cherry pastry he’d never had before. You three finally head to checkout, where everything is stuck in those stupid reusable bags and the price of everything you got feels obscenely huge for what’s in your cart, but he pays it anyway. Walking to the car, in the trunk the groceries go as you all climb in one by one, ready to head for pancakes.

As he reverses the car out of his good (only because it was so goddamn early) parking spot, he can’t help but sigh, this time with contentment as Abby rambles on about a new imaginary (hopefully) friend, your own grin wide as you ask questions, making sure she feels heard. “I love you guys, love doing things with you guys,” Mike mumbles out, reaching his hand over to your thigh as he glances back at Abby too. And it was true, he’d do anything with you two. Hell, if all his life consisted of grocery shopping, taxes, and laundry? Yeah, he’d be ok with that too.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere coworker (part 11)

Tw: afab reader, this chapter is just some fluff and exhibiting a softer side of this problem man

Masterlists, part 1, part 12

All eight of you ordered the steak. Therefore, eight identical dishes were presented in front of everyone.

When it arrived, Cyprus spent no time cutting his slab into smaller pieces while chatting amicably with his friends. You wonder what for, because he usually eats larger chunks as he has a bigger mouth.

You began eating your fries and vegetable sides first, not wanting to tackle the meat. You're too mentally exhausted to work on it.

But before you could pick up your next fry, Cyprus swapped plates with you and you felt a sense of deja vu wash over. The meat was perfectly cubed to your bite size.

"Damn it, you ate most of my fries." He mumbled, stabbing the steak with his fork and slicing through it with his knife.

Your brain was on automatic, so you apologized and immediately transferred some of your chips over to his. Not realizing that you never asked him to cut the beef up for you and this technically wasn't your plate that you ate out of.

You're just too tired. Too tired to notice that he said, "Thanks, princess." As he pecked you on the temple and stroked you on the head.

Too tired to realize that you weren't acting mean towards Cyprus, proving his friends' point about how you're wonderful for him and you're not someone Cyprus should dump.

Neither of them mind that you were suddenly deathly quiet. As Cyprus had explained to them earlier that you tend to shut down after having too much social interaction for the day. They looked at Cyprus as if he grew two heads when he mentioned about your "social battery", because they considered that term as some sort of internet nonsense and your boyfriend is the last person they expect to unironically use it. Initially, it was embarrassing for Cyprus, but eventually he explained it enough for everyone to understand.

The women gush over how romantic it was that Cyprus cuts your steak up for you without hesitation or much thought. It's so natural for him to treat you like royalty. In turn, pressuring the men to do that for their girlfriends too.

The dinner went by uneventfully. Cyprus brought you back home earlier and ate the rest of your leftovers because you didn't feel like eating it anymore.

You couldn't really remember what else happened, nothing much must have taken place between the ride home and the time where you found yourself snuggling into his chest as you dozed off.

__

"Wake up."

You groggily grumbled, flinching when Cyprus blew air into your ear. You tried pushing him away, but he simply chuckled and groped all over your body.

"Good morning to you too, beautiful. Now, get up. We're going on a date." He whispered, learning not to overwhelm you this early in the morning. The last time he spoke in a voice too loud and upbeat at the crack of dawn, you burst into tears.

You whined, saying it's too early and it's a Saturday, you want to sleep in. Frowning, you wished Cyprus's energy levels matched yours, he would have made a much better boyfriend then.

"I want to smoke."

You told him to go ahead, because you want to sleep.

"I want to fuck you stupid."

You picked your head up and tiredly opened an eye. You told him no way, but you fell into his trap instead. He encased your lips in a passionate kiss, he must have just woken up too as it was sloppier than usual. But it was enjoyable nonetheless as you knew he had plenty of practice before you.

His large hands rubbed all over your body, snaking them under your (Cyprus's) oversized T-shirt and under the band of your underwear.

He pulled away when your thrashing began to get out of hand, signalling that you're running out of breath. But he didn't retract his hands this time, instead choosing to hold you close to him.

You panted and struggled to keep your heartbeat below the maximum while he hugs you as if you're his beloved stuffed toy.

"I want to get to know you more..." He murmured. There was a sense of softness and yearning in his purr, his fingers got to work soothingly carding your hair.

You said he knew everything there is to know about you. And he deems everything else as a side effect of your internet addiction.

"You never really talked about your friends." He drawled.

You remained silent, waiting to see where this conversation goes.

"I'm starting to think you don't have any." He sniffed your hair. "God, you smell good."

You said you do have friends, Cyprus is stealing you away from them. You pulled away from his hold, which was surprisingly lax and rolled to the end of the bed, furthest away from Cyprus.

"Oh yeah?" He propped his head up by an elbow while lying on his side, staring at you as the singular ray of sunshine coming from a gap between his curtains illuminated his face. You would never admit that he's extremely handsome without his glasses.

"Why don't you get texts and calls from them, then? I've been waiting to pick one up and tell them that you're busy with me." A grin made its way to his lips, fantasizing about how your hypothetical friends would freak out over the news of you having a boyfriend. Cyprus just likes letting the world know that you're his pretty girl.

You said that they have a life and they couldn't check up on you all the time. He narrowed his eyes at you.

"Really? Not even a "Look what I found" text? Not even a "This reminded me of you"?" His free hand found its way to your hips, tenderly caressing it up and down. "You're such a loser." He teased with a carefree smile on his attractive face.

You gulped, not knowing what to say. Cyprus gets calls from his friends regularly and actually cares about him. They want him around just because they love him as family.

You? Usually your friends (actually, colleagues) contact you if they want something out of you or to brag about their life when they couldn't find anyone else to be their emotional sponge or for some political reason.

His words made you reflect on your life. You don't think you have anyone you trust to help you out when times get tough in this city. Ironically, Cyprus would have been the first person you would call to get you out of trouble, because you have a strong belief that he would help you without hesitation no matter how much you think that he's an asshole.

You sunk your head deeper into his pillow, can't think of anything else to say to him without admitting you're more of a loser than you thought.

You wished you had your phone right now to pacify you and distract yourself from confronting the reality that your life isn't that great.

You saw Cyprus's eyebrows raise and knitted itself in concern. He scooted closer to you and cupped your cheeks.

"Did I reopen a wound? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like crap. Don't cry, doll. Come here." He opened his arms and invited you in an embrace.

Don't cry? You were confused why he said that until you began to sniffle and the tickle of your tears was registered in your mind.

Embarrassed, you buried your head in his chest to hide your teary mess of a face from him. Cyprus wrapped his arms around you tightly, cooing about how it's okay and he loves you.

"I took a joke too far, I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to come off as a judgmental asshole." He mumbled in your hair before kissing you on the crown of your head.

You progressed to pathetic sobs, the reality that you don't have anyone is dawning on you. And it's horrifying to accept.

You never knew what reaction you would get from him whenever you cried. Most of the time, he would brush it off as an insignificant, silly little tantrum. Sometimes he would drop everything just to comfort you, like right now. Perhaps he could feel that he actually hurt you a lot.

He slowly got up, bringing you up with him. Cyprus then rose to his full height, carrying you with an arm supporting your rear and your legs wrapping around his torso. You clung onto him, fearing that he might drop you and not wanting him to see you still weeping and vulnerable.

"Let's get ready for our date." He gently bounced you up and down, patting your back while he walked out of the bedroom. Of course, not before retrieving his glasses from the nightstand.

You sighed and sagged, there is no way you could worm out of this. So you asked him where he was planning on taking you.

"There's this farmer's market I've wanted to go to for a while now. I think you're going to love it there. I know I will, since you're going to be with me." He opened the door to the bathroom. Cyprus gently sets you down on the cold tiles, making you frown in discomfort.

He smiled at you, his bed head making him look less well kept than usual. It's charming in its own right.

"You can make hell seem like heaven by just being there." He ruffled your already messy hair. "You're so fun to be with, you know that?"

He bent down and pecked you on the lips, hushing you when a gush of tears started flowing again. Cyprus took the time to wipe them off with his thumbs.

"Go on, get ready. I'll be preparing breakfast for the both of us and I'll come back in ten minutes to check up on you."

You nodded, sniffling and wiping your face with your hand.

Satisfied, he kissed you on the forehead. "Crybaby."

He pulled away, only to dive back in to give you another kiss on the lips. "But you're my crybaby. Remember that."

He laughed when you tried hitting him and missed.

[rebo-chan]

IMPORTANT CHARACTER ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT. DO NOT IGNORE, YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

OKAY SO WE ALL KNOW THAT TSUNA LIKES SALISBURY STEAK FROM THE DATABOOKS AND ANIME, AND WE KNOW THAT REBORN LIKES ESPRESSO.. BUT IS THAT THE TRUTH? Is that what these young lads consumed throughout the series? What do they like to eat? What do we BEAR WITNESS TO THEM SHOVING INTO THEIR MOUTHS? With this question in mind, I embarked on a quest with my good friend @ketchup-chup TO DOCUMENT WHAT TSUNA AND REBORN ACTUALLY EAT. Have you been deceived to believe that Reborn doesn't like sweets? If so, you're in for a FUCKING treat. Some things we discovered during this is that Tsuna just is SO bad with eating. HE EATS SO LITTLE. I WOULD GO CHAPTERS UPON CHAPTERS WITH HIM NOT EATING ANYTHING. All while REBORN SHOVED HIS FUCKING FACE WITH FOOD TO THE POINT WHERE WE HAD TO ADD IN RULES FOR HIM.

You see the frame on the left? You see the difference in plates between Tsuna and Reborn? This is the best way I can symbolize what this was like before we begin.

Okay, before I begin, here are some ground rules:

We only did the daily life MANGA chapters, chapter 1-61 because nobody has any real time to calculate the distance of Byakuran's ash to see if any landed in Tsuna's mouth. That being said, I am sure that if we did Reborn would continue to be a fucking menace. We did not include any anime scenes, because we just could not realistically watch the entire daily life anime. This also does not include any 'food' we see in openings like the strawberry jam toast from Boys and Girls, or the soda he is drinking in Dive to World. Same goes for endings.

Reborn ate so much that for @ketchup-chup's sanity, we included only the things that he was actually shoving in his mouth. So, the list you're about to see, there WAS more and we cut it for our sanity's sake. Tsuna was eating so LITTLE, we did the exact opposite where everytime a food was even SPOTTED NEAR HIM, I snatched up into my list.

The foods will be listed in order as they were spotted in the series as we went through, but as sometimes they are doubled up on later. (As in a character for example had coffee once, then coffee again in a later chapter will be written as Coffee x2)

That's all! So, let's get started!

Sawada Tsunayoshi: Pocky Milk Italian Pasta Water x8 Chips x2 Lollipop x2 Poison Cooking x3 Rice balls x2 (the second time he had this, he fucking spit it out..) Soda x5 (his third soda was in one of harus pictures at the end of the chapter<3) Soumen noodles Sushi x2 (Two separate pieces of Sushi within two frames of each other that looked different lol...) Rice x3 (Rice in a bowl!) One bite of cake (This agitated me because there was a separate frame of Reborn with his own cake, that looked demolished in comparison to Tsunas measly one bite... OTL) Ramen Coffee x2 Instant Ramen 2 WATERMELON RINDS (IN THE SAME SCENE!! HE ATE TWO!!) Juice It should be said before I move onto Reborn, that the "ramen" entry was this:

That's 61 chapters worth of Tsuna's food. :) As you can see he really likes water. Water and one bite of cake :)<3

Reborn:

Fish Coffee x7 Italian Pasta Tea x3 (Second entry of this was him having his own tea ceremony of this) Watermelon x2 Cold Soba noodles Popsicle x7 Hot pot Kimchi Soumen Juice x2 Beer Sushi x2 Tuna Water x3 Cake x2 (First was the one he devoured that I mentioned further above, second was his wedding cake with Bianchi) Rice Mochi (For the mochi making competition, he was taste testing) Soup (Probably miso judging by it, but he sure was slurping it) Cookie Barbeque Soda

An honorable mention that the lovely ketchup didn't include because he didn't actually eat it, but I spotted in digging through chapters of Tsuna starving himself: a smoothie/milkshake(?) and a icecream sundae. Here you can look at it yourself~

Also, yes the popsicle was included in the count of FUCKING popsicles he's CONSUMED.

To do a recap:

Tsuna ate 39 things by the start of kokuyo, subtracting the RAMEN gokudera dropped on him and the spit out rice ball and i wish i coULD HALF HIS FUCKING ONE BITE CAKE THATS NOT REAL FOOD TSUNA. Tsuna really consumed 36.5 items (37 if you count the one bite of cake but whatever..) Also, if you subtract the poison cooking, he's sitting at 33.5 (34 *grumbles*).

Reborn ate 39 items, including the honorable mention he had 41 items. Bearing in mind, we cut out so much of Reborn just showing up near food or holding onto it. Tsuna, meanwhile was counted for existing near food. Gathering nutrients through photo-fucking-synthesis. The anime feeds Tsuna SO much more, I can name 5 items off the top of my memory that he ate in daily life that just aren't counted from the manga. Please don't be fooled by the fact they start out with the same number till we started subtracting, MOST OF TSUNAS IS HIS WATER COUNT. If you IGNORE ALL THE DRINKS HE HAS, MANS IS SITTING AT 17, WHILE IF YOU REMOVE REBORNS DRINKS HE GOES DOWN TO 25. (Its mostly his love for espresso bringing down his number, MEANWHILE FOR TSUNA ITS HIS FUCKING WATER COUNT??)

Now that our statistical analysis that NO one told us to do has been completed. What can we learn from it about our characters favorite food preferences? Well, Tsuna is SO well hydrated. We love a water-stanning king. Besides that, he's mostly eating snacks with his lollipops, chips, and his enjoyment of drinking soda. (He drinks fast food soda the most, with 3 of those submissions being him sipping from a container with a straw. The last two are from a can and a bottle specifically.) Meanwhile, we can believe Reborn when he says he likes coffee, but ALSO he fucking?? loves?? popiscles?? it's unreal??? there were so many popsicles??? He LOVES SWEETS.. sad to say but he just fucking lied to Luce in the fillers about not liking sweets. It's Tsuna, if anyone, that doesn't like sweets with his one bite of cake. HOLD ON ACTUALLY FUCK THIS IM SHOWING YOU GUYS THE CAKE DILEMMA ME AND KETCHCUP WERE STARING AT.

YOU SEE THAT LITTLE CAKE THATS BEING CUT OUT OF FRAME? THATS IT. THATS THE EXTENT OT TSUNAS BITE. MEANWHILE, HERES REBORNS.

THAT THING IS ALMOST GONE. YALL ARE SEEING THIS RIGHT??

REKSHNS anyway! Reborn's more of a curious soul with his food, trying a bunch of stuff that he wouldn't normally eat. Meanwhile Tsuna plays it mostly safe with snacks and mostly Japanese food. AGAIN, no one asked us to do this and while we are absolutely hysterical as I type this up, if you have any questions about specifics please feel free to ask SDKJGN this is IMPORANT!! CHARACTER ANALYSIS!!! CLEARLY!!!

Thanks for reading this far HELP ME. This was funny as hell to dig through and perhaps we may look through the last arcs if we feel like it, or do other characters. (I've noticed Gokudera is a good eater!)

See you next post~

[ghostfaceprincess]

Them Cooking For You For The First Time:

-

TW: Language.

-

Michael Myers:

• I mean… he really did try.

• Surprisingly decent, it’s just a little burnt.

• He decided on steak and mashed potatoes.

• Hey, he’s proud of himself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

-

Freddy Krueger:

• Used his glove to cut up everything; and I do mean everything. The meat, the veggies, etc.

• He decided on chicken pasta with salad as a side.

• The pasta is cooked perfectly.

• He pairs it with a nice wine. 10/10.

-

Jason Voorhees:

• He… tried.

• It’s supposed to be spaghetti…

• Hey, the garlic bread is good though!

• Maybe you should do all the cooking and he’ll do the dishes.

-

Billy Loomis:

• He surprised you! The food is so good!

• He made chicken with mac and cheese, corn bread, and green beans.

• He did not make dessert though.

• He was hoping you could be dessert. 😏

-

Stu Macher:

• THIS MAN CAN COOK IDC WHAT ANYBODY HAS TO SAY

• A full meal plus dessert.

• Everything is cooked and seasoned perfectly.

• Yes, you heard me, s e a s o n e d.

-

Charles Lee Ray:

• He gave up before he even started.

• He ordered Chinese takeout and then plated it.

• He also paired it with beer.

• He didn’t think about dessert.

-

Tiffany Valentine:

• Oh, she went all out!

• She made you like four different meals and desserts to go with them.

• “I just wanted you to have options.” What a cutie!

• “The rest can just be meal prep!”

-

Bubba Sawyer:

• He made you the beeeeeest fucking soup you’ve ever had. Well, it’s more like a gumbo, but still.

• He made dessert as well; just classic chocolate chip cookies.

• He did ask his brothers for help.

• He smiles proudly as he presents it to you.

-

Thomas Hewitt:

• Did everything all on his own.

• Made ribs with fries.

• Literal 10/10.

• He knows how to add some flavor!

-

Art the Clown:

• Cook?

• Yeah, no. He gets take out and does not try to take credit for it.

• He does plate it very nicely though.

• Pats your head as he hands you your plate.

-

The Creeper:

• He let you pick what he made.

• And he did it perfectly too!

• There’s so much seasoning and flavor.

• Though, he can’t perfect all meals. Just this one and a few others.

-

Thanks for reading! 🦇🖤

[theglassofmiddleearth]

Can I please request Sirius Black being comforted when he's depressed and being looked after by his wife, the reader, during the events of Order of the Phoenix? Can be dot points, a fic, i don't mind! thanks xoxo

Y/N has always been the mother figure of the group, even before she was dating much less married to Sirius. Always coddling the boys, making sure they drank their water and had all three meals. Also their homework. Oh my DAYS Remus was good with due dates but Sirius and James? Y/N needed some anti aging cream for her stress lines early.

Sirius was always getting into trouble and needing Y/N to bail him out be it detention or Azkaban.

Y/N is used to having to cheer him up, taking care of him but that doesn't mean she doesn't feel the same amount of pain whenever she sees him down. He always gives her those sad puppy wet eyes and she coos at him every single time. Kissing away his tears and pressing her forehead to his, reminding him how she would always be there to be the gentle wind that would push away the clouds to bring back the crystal blue skies.

Never feels like a burden, Y/N always reiterates how much she wants to take care of him. How much she doesn't care that he's been whiny and pouty. Y/N always holds his face firmly before kissing his face all over, making him smile before chuckling. She loves his smile, so charming and full of hope. Something she always looks forward to seeing.

Baking him cookies, his horrid mother never did that for him. He loves the ones you make, he says you put something special in them! (It's just a pinch of salt in the chocolate chip cookies.) Also baking WITH him. He's been trying to make pistachio cookies but he just can't make them green enough. (Need to blend the pistachios to make a paste)

Cooking with him. He loves all the domestic things. Feelings he could never get from his old home. Pasta, steaks, soups? Soups are your favourite to make in the Autumn and winter. Especially pumpkin soup during the Halloween season? (We're all just a little basic sometimes) In the spring, toss some salads together and sear some steaks. Maybe even make a nice roast on Sundays.

Washing his hair for him! Y/N running her fingers though his hair, gently massaging his scalp. Very particular about his shampoo and conditioner. He only trusts Y/N with his hair. Well Y/N and his barber. But Y/N has to be there if he's cutting his hair. Just in case!

Silent cuddles or small chatter. He's so comfortable with Y/N to the point where silence can be just as comforting as words of affirmation.

Allowing him to hold her. He's always afraid she'll be taken away from him. Just like James and Lily. He can't lose Y/N too. it would break him completely. Being away from Y/N was already torture enough. Sure enough, he also wants to be held sometimes, his head in Y/N's chest or tummy. Something soft for him to lay his head on while she plays with his hair? A sure fire way to get him to calm down and lull him into a happy state.

Get him to write letters to Harry! Harry always has some silly story to tell. especially with the DA being established. Loves hearing about his nephew's terrible love life.

Remus will always be down for a cup of tea and a chat, after all.. he did get fired ☠️ (Just not during the full moon, he can get quite grumpy)

Allowing Sirius to shift into his Animagus form, giving his dog form a wash and he can lay in the bed with Y/N. MAKE IT CLEAR HE NEEDS A BATH FIRST. Fleas are unacceptable in bed. Or in the house anywhere really.

Allowing him to be clingy and Y/N being clingy back, they may be codependent but hey, he's rich, she doesn't care, they don't need to work. They can spend all day together or helping The Order. But knowing The Order, he probably gets let off easy if he needs time.

Taking long naps, and I mean LONG. Three of four hours MINIMUM. Waking up at Merlin knows when and watching some TV with each other and falling asleep all over again.

Sorry this took so long?!! I won't lie, I forgot I HAD an inbox since I use Tumblr on my phone. I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY. SORRY FOE THE MASSIVE DELAY ❤️❤️

[spookyycider]

A1.

(And I’d be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice. Imagine being Billy’s ex, and teasing him, because he was never not yours)

You blotted your lips, wiping away wine as the man next to you bled out on his plate and still gurgling and shaking. It annoyed you, as you cast a frown at him. Did he have to die so loudly? Perhaps, you thought, as Billy’s ka-bar dripped with blood as he watched you through impossibly dark eyes, lips curled.

A panther, wild after a kill. He tenderly brushed hair from your face, streaks of blood going through it, he fisted it bringing your forehead to his mouth. His beard scratched you, and your eyes fluttered.

“I’m not your girlfriend anymore.” You say, cutting into your steak with all the casualness of a dinner with friends.

“Yeah? Then why do you keep sending me love notes, sweetheart?” His voice was rough as he pulled out a piece of paper dabbed with his bloody fingerprints. “Miss ravishing me, Marine?” he read, shoving it in your face, baring his teeth.

You smiled, biting into the steak and chewed, looking at him with soft eyes. “Because you’re still mine.” You swallowed.

It didn’t make much sense, but he was too far gone to care as he tasted A1 steak sauce on your lips.

x

@e-dubbc11 @kayhi808 @bookloverfilmoholic @milea @thejanecampaign @firequeensposts @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @briannareneea985 @tortilla-chips-and-allioli @cant-help-simping @rosaleenablack @idaofinfinity @snowkestrel @aoi-targaryen @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @zz-kennedy @firexfate @littleblackcatinwonderland

[fictionalcharactergraveyard]

Please do the gang+Shepards with a s/o who likes to bake/cook 🙏🏼🙏🏼

bet bet

Ponyboy

tries to help

actually ends up pretty fun

flour was everywhere tho

devours your chocolate chip cookies like that

"did you just-"

"sorry."

"...they came out of the oven an HOUR AGO-"

Johnny

devours

bc he doesn't get fed

you make him some pretty damn good meals/desserts

doesn't ask for more than you give him

but you give him more anyways

you teach him how to make some stuff

Dally

Takes second and thirds without asking

“How much have you taken?”

“Enough.”

“Dallas-“

doesn’t help

he’d prob set the whole place on fire if he did

Darry

cooks with you

and bakes

you guys are the best cooks fr

you got a 'kiss the cook' apron for him

y'alls chocolate chip cookies >>>

Sodapop

'helpful'

man just licks the spoon with the batter

just to see if it tastes good

you have kick him out of the kitchen

never shuts up abt the food tho

Steve

is actually pretty helpful

man can GRILL

and you make the ice tea

its so cute oml

Tim

"make me a sandwich-"

"I will cut off your tongue."

"..."

loves your steaks omg

devours

Curly

eats whatever you give him

lives for your lemonade

spikes it tho

Angela

she loves to help!

you two make soup

all the time

they make her feel better LOL

[persephone11110]

rain is a good thing

Jake‘Hangman’Seresin x Reader

Chapter 2: I Can’t Breathe

warnings: exes share the same bed, mentions of scars, past mentions of abusive relationship- reader ex byf, taking care of one another, mentioning of injury—reader cut her hand in chpt1, mentions of past choking, implied child abuse protective jake seresin, reader and jake are angsty assholes towards eachother, the chapter is in 2022

Chapter Summary: Your still trying to wrap your head around the fact that your ex boyfriend was sleeping next to you- that he remember your fear and much less your address.

author note: this took forever to write and but with that heres chapter 2, I wanted to thank everyone who continues to like everything!!, the actual chapters are present day which is set 22’ both chpt 1&2 Jake already been called back. also the reader and Jake started dating in 2015ish and broke up in 2019, I didn’t wanted the chapter to end on a happy note, can we tell I love Etta James first lyric is from A Sunday Kind Of Love

WC: 1.2K

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Series Masterlist

—

Last night had be a fever dream, your head pressed into Jakes chest, how he ran his fingers all throughout your hair. When he rattle through your dressers trying to find you both new clothes he noticed his orange sweatshirt, “I’ve been looking for that all this time and she had it this entire time”. Shaking his head he pulled the sweatshirt over your head, knowing how much his cologne calmed you.

You and Dr. Michaels next session is going to much longer than usual.

Of all the things you expect to see after last night — this wasn’t one of them. Your ex boyfriend standing at your stove flipping pancakes wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist, lip syncing to Etta James.

I want a sunday kind of love.

Your leaning aganist the couch wearing a small smirk, he hasn’t changed a bit just the muscles Jake had from two years ago have gotten bigger. He flips another pancake“Sweetheart staring at my v-neck is going to slow me down”.

Jake turns the stove down- walking towards you with a big grin on his face, “Hungry Y/n?”.

“I am very hungry”. you gently shove past Jake scooping a pancake out of the pan onto your plate.“Aren’t you going to eat too Jake?”, you ask him holding a plate out, Jake scratches the back of his neck, his face reddened—dirty bastard. You decided to act oblivious to Jakes sexual innuendo more interested in the food infront of your face. “You know wherever everything is Jake”.

You stood at the counter scarfing down food versus Jake sitting at the island with a fork in his hand. “Y/n your gonna choke if you keep eating like that”. Jake raised his eyebrows at how animalistic you ate your food,“ Remember the last time I had to the heimlich on our third date because you were swallowing the steak without chewing it first”.

You glared at Jake rolling your eyes at his mother-hen antics to calm his nerves you pull a chair up to the island. Sitting in front of him, he hands you a fork. “Y/n I promise all the food I made and what you put on your plate is all yours”. Jake gives you a reassuring smile before stabbing at his strawberries with his fork.

He remembered, to bad Travis never did he always reminded you to eat as little as possible whether it was breakfast, lunch or dinner. He hated how much you ate on a daily basis, leaving notes on the fridge, on your nightstand in your car— saying eat less.

You couldn’t blame him, you did eat like a pig especially if it was food that your taste buds enjoyed to no end. “Y/n I can’t fucking form a sentence when you all your doing is your rattling fingers in a damn chip bag, he snatched the chip bag from you tossing it across the bedroom.“Next time be fucking considerate”.

“Thanks for last night,and for breakfast …” you fumble to find more words to say but Jake holds his hand up cutting you before you could struggle even longer for the right words.

“Y/n we might be exes but you needed help, its not like you wouldn’t do it for me either, as I remember someone saying something long the lines of I’d run every red light If I had to if meant getting to you”.

You blush at how Jake uses your sentiment words aganist you. You couldn’t help but think to your past relationship why couldn’t Jake do this when you two were together. What changed Jake?, did he find a girl that he changed for, was she worth his time?

You must’ve spent sometime in your head with your spiraling thoughts because Jake says your name with concern attached to it. “Y/n something bothering you?”.

“When did you realize you didn’t love me anymore?”

Thinking back to two years ago when you declared to Jake that you couldn’t take being on the bottom of his priority list. You never asked when and why he lost his love for you, what made him stop caring about your feelings.

Jake swears he heard you wrong,“Darlin theres no reason to end the peace we have going on right now”. He attempts to sway your thinking, turning the conversation onto something else,“Why don’t I make something else to go on your plate?”.

“I mean it Jake was something I did?,— did I gain to much weight, did I have to much emotional baggage for you to handle?”. You get up from the table, walking to the couch.

“Darlin n-no It wasn’t you I—”. Jake gets up to walking towards you, “I couldn’t balance my work life and love life at once alright Y/n it was never you”. Jake eyebrows furrow when he realizes your injured hand. He wants to reach and grab your hand and it inspect it more, but Jake knows how much you hate being touch during a moment like this.

You almost want to let the scoff sitting on your tongue escape. He’s acting like you don’t work hours as a trauma nurse, as if you didn’t see people die almost everyday of your life. As if you didn’t play god with their lives.

“Bullshit”. your voice in more harsher tone than before,“You decided that you didn’t love me anymore because you didn’t feel the urge anymore”. You backed away from him,“Do you know how many nights I spent in our relationship even after we broke up trying to piece together why I was so worthless of your basic love and affection or your fucking attention”. A watery chuckle escapes your mouth betraying the pure anger and confidence in your voice.

“As if you can fucking talk darlin your hours as a nurse aren’t so different from the hours I worked”. Jake standing over you now, his jaw vibrating with anger.“How dare you Y/n”.

“Yeah I worked but I made sure I set aside time for you—for us”. your lips pressed together in frustration, why can’t he just stand there and listen.

Jake crosses his arm with a angered expression and you swear you saw Travis’s face.“Are you listening to me?”. Your walking towards your apartment door—ready to run away from Travis knowing what about happen. “I tried Y/n you just make me hit you”.

“Y/n can you just stand still please I actually want to talk this out”. His accent thick with irritation,Jake grabbed you by the wrist a little to tight.

“Just lay there Y/n”you can hear Travis’s vicious voice in the back of your head. At first you feel paralyzed with paronia unable to movie afraid for your life.

You snatched your wrist from Jakes hand,“Get the fuck out” you angrily point to the door.

He scoffs,“I can’t believe I thought you matured enough to have a conversation without your feelings getting hurt, I should’ve stayed home when I heard your desperate voicemail cry for help Y/n”. He snatched his wallet and keys from the table.

“To answer your fucking question I realized the morning you left me with a little goodbye note”. Jake slams the door behind him leaving you standing with a heavy feeling in your gut.

Tears shook through your body.

I hate you, I love you.

Taglist: @chocolatefartstrawberry,@buckysteveloki-me, @dontletthemtakeyoualive, @kellyls04, @els-marvelvsp, @classyunknownlover, @i-am-mrsreckless,