#stayed up for this i’m proud of myself

[lume-nosity]

merry chrimahd!!! cheitmay? chrifn?? cheistmas??? close enough

[alitteraladhdmess]

Every Leo deserves a jellyfish, I’ve seen a lot of Leo and jellyfish art work out there. But never Leo as a jellyfish-

So I give you

@bettertwin1

Unedited version v

References I used (credit where credit is due)

Idk if the third jelly’s are same kind but they look similar so womp womp

Pssst- @bettertwin9000 if you want me to draw you too just tell me your favorite ocean animal;)

I decided to be a little goofy on this drawing and use different brushes than I usually do. I got that scrumptious line art and I’m very happy.

Colors are hard:(

Leo | Donnie | Mikey | Raph | All

[sunnibits]

*crawls out of an open doorway covered in blood* I finished my Assignment

[icelogged]

happy unbecoming by @vyva-melinkolya day to all who celebrate

[doctorweebmd]

I was thinking about this the other day and wondering why it’s become so much less fun to write for BNHA and I think it’s because… I’ve written too much?

Like being a one-off author was fine and fun and novel and people were so cool and supportive, but now I’ve got multiple long fics and people have started treating me like someone that “creates content” rather than someone who is writing for fun. And I’ve shot myself in the foot by continuing to write long-fic and putting my heart and soul into them and it’s like never enough, people just expect more and more and more and I want to keep giving and keep doing better but no matter what I write it’s just not ENOUGH

And like… this started a little after I finished Zero Sum Game but like… people have started forming “opinions” that they share openly about “me” - I can’t stand going into fandom space and seeing people say they can’t read anything I write, or they don’t like me as an author, openly ranking my works, saying xyz is overrated or mention me by name in shipping discourse or send me hate mail or update requests or just straight up telling me they’re not going to read what I write anymore… and these people don’t know me!!! I’m just an empty space to them!!! Just a machine that pumps out thousands on thousands of words to just look at an forget about instantly!!!!!!!!

Where do people get off honestly. Is it like this everywhere or is it just BNHA? Is it because it’s so popular that the community has broken down completely? Sincerely what the fuck how can anyone treat writers like this…

[holdingup-fallingsky]

.

[birthdayplant]

it’s so weird to be unconditionally loved by people and that i’m someone they want to be around often. it’s hard to “understand” a person’s reasons for loving me that much but maybe my problem is i don’t need to understand it in the first place and rather just accept it for what it is.

[sunnysduet]

just ran slightly over 2 miles in 48 mins … as someone who despises running and is generally incredibly out of shape . i’m sort of. idk. i hope i’m allowed to be proud of myself for that

[groupwest]

really sorry for the delay on replies… i’m changing, only just very slowly.

[katelfiredemon]

I actually wrote half a klance fic today! Woohoo!

[milo-is-rambling]

I know I should be excited for my brother but this whole thing feels like it’s going to be hours and hours of me feeling like a failure while my brother is happy and it’s so hard to step out of myself and be fully happy for him without feeling like a shitty disappointment

[pisces-gf]

um . hi

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[earl-grey-crow]

I am DONE I have finished my essay and now I need to go to BED

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Job update: They didn’t answer the door ‘cause no one was there so I called and literally slipped my resume into their mailbox lmfaooo

[xphanuel]

I always think before I speak. If I am an example of your ridiculous unspoken boundaries you expect people to know without reason, you’re proving yourself wrong by literally replying and interacting with me. Ain’t that ironic. Boundaries are not indications of good and evil, correct, but how you choose to go about your boundaries can be. Boundaries are most definitely not a tool, at least not in the way you’re describing, which is probably why your view is skewed on this. Every individual has boundaries, it’s up to them to make people aware of them and explain them, not on a stranger who doesn’t know anything about them. The only unspoken boundaries there really is between humans are human rights, which you also have to be ready to defend at any given moment someone crosses that. Boundaries are not “to be used” they’re clear cut. Don’t do this and cross this boundary, or X Y Z will happen. I will never surround myself with people like you, solely because you don’t even know the definitions of words you choose to use, and then tell me to think before I speak? Ironic. I cut every single person who puts their feelings before logic out of my life. I simply stated a hard fact that the world doesn’t owe you anything, it’s up to you what you decide to do with that. You’re the one who decided to interact with me. You’re still replying. I only replied to get YOU to think about what you wrote and how illogical it is. What you choose to do with that information is on you and you only. When you realize you’re a survivor and not a victim, it will be a beautiful day for you. As above, so below.

also, I didn’t read your blog at all. I read your bio. It ain’t that deep. Definitely checks out though.

My family just lost their "having me in their lives" privileges!