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stayandcozy · 7 days

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Reflection of Us

Hyunjin X Reader Oneshot

WORDCOUNT: 3833

Masterlist

MATURE THEME ADVISED (Smut Focused)

These celebrity parties normally never bothered me. I was used to smiling and just nodding my head as big name idols rambled to me about a lifestyle I completely didn't understand. But that was okay. I didn’t mind and often I enjoyed getting to know more about the life Hyunjin lived.

When we first started seeing each other two years ago, I made it clear that I didn’t want to share that type of lifestyle with him yet. I wanted something quieter, more romantic. But of course that only got to last a while, luckily we both knew it would happen. That Hyunjins relationship with me would get leaked. It was horrible at first, with fans sending death threats and him needing extra security. But now things have settled down and as my punishment I get to go to these parties.

Worse was that these were not just social events for the boys but also work. Which meant Hyunjin was off playing the politics of his life. And I was forced to listen as Changbin listed off all his reasons for getting the idols to play a baseball tournament.

“Oh come on, you have to see it right? All of us in those cute little outfits running around? The fans would eat out of our hands! Imagine how cute Hyunjinnie would look.”

“Bin, your fans would be too focused on how bad you all are to pay attention to the outfits.” I said while taking a sip of champagne. It was expensive and still tasted like shit.

“Where is your boyfriend, I need someone to team up with,” and with that he started whipping his head around to look for Hyunjin. I was completely unbothered by his antics so I just shook my head and looked down to check the time on my phone. But when I looked back I saw that his eyes had grown three sizes bigger. I followed Changbins gaze to the corner of the room where Hyunjin was sitting on a chair with two girls on each arm rest. They were giggling at something he said, and touching his shoulder flirtatiously.

Not here. Don't make a scene, anywhere but here.

As if he could feel the jealousy radiating off me, Changbin turned to me trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m sure he doesn’t even realize what they're doing.”

I took my glass of champagne and swished it down in one gulp. “No, maybe not, but I’m not sure that makes it any better.”

I couldn’t stop myself from staring at them. The way both girls would lean into his sides. It was driving me crazy. It made me even more sick when I saw Hyunjin look up and smile at one of them. What kind of game was he playing? Did he want cheating rumors to start, because this is exactly how you get into that kind of scandal. Or maybe he just genuinely enjoyed the attention. The thought he was enjoying himself started a deep burning in my chest and before I knew it my vision was blurring.

Sometimes it felt like Hyunjin knew something was wrong when he shouldn't. There have been too many days after work where I couldn’t find the energy to make an effort, and before I could even tell him, he’d be calling me. Telling me how much he loves me, and that no matter what he’d be there for me. That sixth sense he had, must have been the reason his brows scrunched and he looked up to meet my glare.

There was no way from that distance he could have seen me on the verge of crying. But I guess from my deep set frown he knew something was wrong. He started to get up but one of the girls started pouting, put a hand on his chest and pulled him back into the chair. I saw him say something to the girl but then the other put her hand on his thigh. Way too high for it to be innocent. And that was enough for me. I wasn’t going to sit here and watch my boyfriend get felt up.

“Hey Bin, can I take your dorm key? I left my car keys there and I’m not feeling too well.” I let the lie slip out even though I knew he was going to call my bluff.

“It’s pretty cold outside, do you want me to call you a taxi?”

“No really, I’d rather walk. Give me a chance to ease my stomach.” He gave me a sympathetic look before digging into his pockets to retrieve a key. He dropped it in my hand before walking off in the direction of Chan and Felix.

I didn’t waste any more time, and rushed to grab my coat and head for the doors. The air outside instantly nipped at my nose and cheeks. Changbin wasn’t kidding, it was unbearably cold. But the temperature was helping cool down the fire burning inside of me. Every time I thought of her fingers grazing his thigh it ignited stronger. Why didn’t he stop them? Was he really enjoying it like I thought? I know that he’s surrounded by beautiful idols every day but never once have I ever felt insecure. Not until then at least. That definitely made me insecure, hyper aware of every flaw on my body.

Three quick beeps from my phone pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts.

From My Love <3

9:52 pm

Hey sweetheart, where did you go? I saw you one second and then you were gone.

9:52 pm

Please tell me you aren’t walking home.

9:53 pm

Changbin told me you left and then called me an idiot…? Did I do something????

I didn’t have the energy for it. I just wanted to get back to my apartment and sleep. I clicked my phone off and instantly another text came through

From My Love <3

9:54 pm

I know you saw those. You’re making me anxious. Can you please tell me what’s going on baby? I can’t leave for a bit more, will you at least let me know you’re okay?

A petty thought came to me, one that I knew wasn’t right but I wanted to hurt him like how I felt hurt. If he was fine with having two random girls flirt with him all night, then he would be perfectly fine not knowing if I was okay or not. Imagining him panicking over me made me feel a little better, which also made me feel insanely guilty. Whatever, he could handle one night of worrying about me.

The rest of the walk didn’t feel real. I couldn’t recall a single thing from my walk, only that my insides were too numb for me to register any of the numbing on the outside. But when I walked into the dorm building, my ears started to hurt from the cold. I really needed a shower, something to warm me up and calm me down.

It was rare that the dorms were this quiet. It was nice.

I figured I still had a good few hours before any of them came home, and Hyunjins shower had one of those waterfall heads that dropped soft water. I opened the door and turned on the water as hot as it would go. A smile crept onto my face as I thought about how Hyunjin has screamed and called me his demon in the past whenever I got in first. But that smile soon disappeared as the thought connected me to everything from tonight, and it hit me again like a train. A scream was threatening to spill past my lips but instead only a choked sob came out. I let my legs give out as I sat and nothing could stop the onslaught of tears.

What was wrong with me? Was I not enough for him? Did he want something more than what I could give? I couldn’t compete with those girls, who am I even kidding. Maybe it would be easier on everyone if he dated someone from the celebrity world. He shouldn’t even be with someone like me. I should take some space from him.

The waves of thoughts were exhausting me more and more. I needed to get home. Sleep would bring clarity, surely it would.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, the steam shrouded around me. Looking up from the ground, I was met with the red and puffy eyes of Hyunjin. I nearly screamed, not expecting anyone home, and feeling all too vulnerable in only a towel.

“He told me you left because of me…” he started but trailed off when he had to wipe away a few stray tears. It took everything in me not to caress his pretty face.

“Yeah...”

He just nodded, and sat looking even more devastated. I couldn’t handle it, I needed him to leave or I was going to lose my resolve. “Please, can you get out? I need to get dressed.”

“Since when have you ever been shy about your body with me?”

”Since now Hyunjin.”

“B-but I’ve literally painted your naked body before. I’ve stared at it for hours. Thirty seconds of changing is nothing compared to that.”

I’m not sure why it upset me, but it did. “Mmhm, and that was before I felt like I was competing with other women. Now I don't want you to see me naked.”

His eyes softened a bit but there were still more tears threatening to spill, and I absolutely hated how beautiful he looked with the added sparkle. “Baby… Is that what this is about? About Seoyun and Jiwoo?” So he knew them? I didn’t know if that should have made it better or worse but I felt the familiar burn start in my chest. He shouldn’t have left, I didn't want him to follow me. Seoyun and Jiwoo would make better company.

“Hyun, please leave.”

“No.”

“Why are you being so difficult? Can’t you see you’ve upset me and I want to be alone?”

A small, exasperated giggle fell from his swollen lips. “I didn’t upset you. You got jealous.”

I rolled my eyes extra hard at that. “I don’t get jealous.”

“Then why did you leave the party so suddenly?”

“Because I felt sick.”

“Because you thought I was flirting back,” he said more as a statement rather than a question.

“No because watching you with them made me realize how terrible we look together!” It exploded out of me before I even had the chance to think. I regretted it immediately.

“Come here.”

“Hyun no I don’t—”

“Sweetheart. I said come here.”

He said it with such authority I felt like I had no choice but to listen. I let my legs carry me over to stand in front of him. But that wasn’t enough for him, he wanted, needed me closer. His hands came to my back, and pushed me to sit on top of his lap, straddling him.

My eyes were closed, I knew I couldn’t look at him. I felt his soft hands push a strand of my wet hair behind my ear and his hand lingered a bit longer, swiping at the remains of old tears.

“There is only you…” He whispered as his lips ghosted under my ears, “there will only ever be you.” I hated how easy it was for him to affect me. The evidence of goosebumps spread across my arms gave him the push he needed to keep going. “Look at me, my love.”

And I listened again. I opened my eyes and stared into his. He was searching for something, but I didn’t know what. I stayed quiet hoping he would continue so I didn’t have to reply. I knew if I opened my mouth, I wouldn’t be able to control what I said.

“When I have interactions with other women at parties like that, it means nothing to me. Truthfully it makes me quite annoyed but this is my life. I can’t risk coming across as rude even if I’m uncomfortable. I let them delve into their little fantasy because it’s easier. Seoyun and Jiwoo are the nieces of one of the big donors of JYP. My managers would have killed me if they said anything about bad manners.”

“It's not fair… I don’t want them to fantasize about you.”

A shit eating grin spread across his face when I said that. “You do realize what our fans fantasize about right?” God, I really hated him sometimes. I lightly slapped his shoulder and tried to push away from him, but his arms wrapped around my waist and wouldn’t let me move. I kept struggling to slip away and it was useless because his hold was concrete. “Hey don’t try to wiggle out of this!” He laughed and started kissing my neck. It instantly sent shockwaves through my body and my groans of displeasure turned into moans of contentment. I was embarrassed of how quickly the anger melted off of me.

The anger disappeared completely when I felt him harden in response to my moans.

“Hyunnie…”

“When I look at you love, I see art. It’s why you're the subject of most of my paintings. No flowers, oceans, or fields of green could compare to you. Those girls are nothing more than a business transaction. You are my muse, not them. There’s no reason to be jealous because you don’t belong in the same world as them.”

“Ah—No more, no more… I feel like I’m going to explode from too many emotions.”

“Then is it okay with you if I show you how beautiful we look together?”

I couldn’t do anything but nod my head weakly up and down. He moved me off his lap and walked over to his dresser before shoving it roughly in front of the bed. “Baby what are you—” I asked but I was met with a sly smile and a shushing sound, so I did nothing but sit there and watch as he moved his large full body mirror to lean on the dresser. Excited panic started to rush up my spine. Oh my god he wasn’t going to. Was he?

My question was answered quickly when Hyunjin came behind me and sat on his knees with me in between them. If the fandom knew him from one thing, it would be his cocky confidence. The way he was able to turn anyone into putty in his hands was a divine gift. One that he used often against me. I couldn’t help but blush as I realized what his intention was, so in order to take a chance to breathe I looked down and stared at the floor. But he wasn’t having any of that, and his beautiful fingers clenched my jaw and forced me to look him in the eyes through the mirror. All too soon he removed his fingers carefully as if to gauge if I’d try to look away. When he decided it was safe he pulled away fully and his fingers went to the buttons of his shirt.

When I thought earlier that Hyunjin shouldn’t be with someone like me, this is exactly what I meant. He was too pretty for his own good. As if he was made to be looked at. And I couldn’t look away. The way his brows scrunched in focus as he finished unbuttoning sent tingles to my thighs and I subconsciously pressed them together trying to ease the ache he was creating. After discarding the shirt on the floor he nimbly removed his pants, throwing them across the room.

“Now,” he started. “Look at how beautiful you are.” And he hovered over my hand that was desperately holding onto the towel. I gave in immediately and let him pull the towel down. We were both staring at each other through the glass. His eyes darkened and a hungry look took over his features. It was rare for Hyunjin to get this possessive, this dominant. Staring didn’t last long, he was getting impatient I could tell by the way he subtly arched his hips into my back. Suddenly, he pushed me down so my face was pressed against the bed and my ass was up, all of my intimate parts on full display to him. No matter how many times he saw me naked, I couldn’t help the blush that would paint my cheeks.

“I’m going to make you cum on my fingers, and you’re going to be a good princess and watch how pretty you are when you cum, okay love?”

“O-okay.” Was all I could stammer out before I saw him take the band around his wrist and throw his hair half up out of his eyes. Fuck, he was doing it on purpose. His eyes met mine again as he twirled a strand out of the pony tail and let it fall. He knew this hairstyle made me flustered. Whenever he did it at practice he would purposely send me a picture to tease me. And that’s what he was doing right now. That cheeky grin was back, and a groan slipped past my lips.

“Hyunnie, if you’re going to tease me all night, I’m going to go back to being mad at you,” I said.

“Oh? Is that so…” He trailed off and I felt those godly fingers slip between my folds. “You’re too wet to be mad at me sweetheart. You would dare leave.”

The feeling of his fingers dancing on me was making me dizzy and if I didn’t get more soon I was going to pass out. I started grinding myself back onto him. Thankfully he finally listened and those sweet fingers pushed inside me. He was slow at first, taking his time as he eased a second finger in. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror and moaned at the sight. Hyunjin had one hand placed on my ass, and the other pumping in and out of me at a fast pace. The way he stared, captivated by me sent another shock to my brain and I could feel my orgasm bubbling.

“Fuck… God.. Ugh baby look at you. I’m going to cum just from looking at you. You wanna cum baby? You wanna cum on my fingers?”

“Yes, god please, please, please, yes.”

“Give it to me then baby. Cum for me.”

And as if his every word held some supernatural force over me I did. I screamed out his name as I came around those stupid fucking fingers.

“Did you see how pretty you looked, love?”

Oh fuck. “I’m sorry, it felt so good baby I closed my eyes.”

He tsked, and I felt him shed his underwear. “I guess I have to do it again then and make sure you’re watching huh?” This side of Hyunjin made me weak in every way. I felt drunk on the dominance he was feeding me. I loved taking the lead with him normally but I couldn’t lie to myself. It felt insane to let him use me however he wanted.

Before I knew it, I could feel him plunge himself into me in one slick thrust. The remains of the previous orgasm made it too easy for him to slide in. He let out a breathy moan and I snapped my eyes to the mirror to watch him. The image was so lewd. Hyunjin had both hands on my hips as he set a quick pace. I stared in awe as I watched him fuck me. Both of our moans joined together. He was right, we did look beautiful together. I nearly came when I saw him let out a light laugh and swipe his tongue over his teeth as he let out a vulgar moan.

Watching him was bringing me closer and closer to another orgasm.

“Mmm feel so good baby, I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep clenching me like that.” He said breathlessly.

He was fucking me at a ruthless pace now, chasing his own high as he took quick deep thrusts. I couldn’t take it anymore, it felt so good. I let my head rest on the bed and closed my eyes for only a moment.

“Nuh uh, we’re not doing that again,” he said as he reached forward and pulled my hair back towards him. The pain forced another loud moan out of me and it only encouraged him to go harder. I could tell he was closer from the way his eyebrows knit together and his thrusts become sloppy and greedy. He looked completely fucked out.

“Need you baby, need you to cum in me.” I managed to get out.

“Oh fuck…” and he fucked into me impossibly deeper. He still had a fist full of my hair forcing me to look in the mirror. I came instantly when I felt the warm jets of cum fill me. Clenching around him in flutters.

He pulled me closer to his body and I felt the sticky sweat cling to my skin. His head was resting on my shoulder and I felt him watching me through the mirror, breathing heavily. I took a breath before I looked to meet his gaze.

“See? Beautiful. We belong together. You fit me like a puzzle piece.”

I felt a pang of guilt wash over me and quickly slid off of him and turned to sit in his lap.

“I’m so sorry I was so cold to you. I just got so insecure.”

“It’s okay sweetheart. I understand completely. But no more being a brat to me over jealousy okay? That’s my thing.” I could help but giggle at him. He was truly the best, and I couldn’t have asked for a more caring boyfriend.

“Yeah I’ll leave the dramatics and brattiness to you. I don’t wanna feel jealous ever again.”

“Really? Not even after I fucked the jealousy out of you?”

“Hyunjin!”

“What! It’s true.” He giggled. God I loved him. I never hated him. I pressed my lips to him and felt him melt into my touch.

“I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.” He replied.

His eyes looked at me so innocently and I felt that school girl crush creep up on me. What did I do to ever deserve him?

“You deserve me.”

“How did you even—“

“I told you, you are my muse, love. I know you better than you know yourself. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and go cuddle. I expect two hours of back rubs as an apology for thinking I’d ever choose anyone but you.”

And with that he stood and took my hand leading me back into the bathroom. A smile crept onto my face and I thought about how beautiful we looked together. I felt all of the worry melt off of me and something warmer, softer spread throughout my body.

Author Note

You may have seen this before! I posted it on my private account, but decided I should post it here too. No I’m not stealing anyone’s work haha, I’m the original author. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed it you dirty freaks. <3

#Hyunjin x Reader #Hyunjin Smut #Hyunjin Angst #Hyunjin Fluff #SKZ Hyunjin #Hyunjin #X Reader #Reader #Stayandcozy #Smut #Angst #Fluff #Oneshot #Hyunjin Oneshot #stray kids #SKZ

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stayandcozy · 7 days

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Paper Stars

Written by Stayandcozy.

Mature Themes Advised

SERIES MASTERLIST BELOW

Summary:

When Solana and Sasha, two strangers brought together by chance, receive a once in a lifetime time call that takes them across the world, they can hardly believe their luck. As they dive into promoting their new show, everything seems to be falling into place. But their normalcy is broken when they cross paths with a group of eight intriguing idols. The boys will surely let chaos loose into their world. They’ll also bring unexpected challenges, suffocating warmth, and even a new sense of belonging. As they spend time together, sparks begin to fly between some of the members and the two girls. But behind the scenes, people are plotting to tear it all down, determined to ruin Solana and Sasha’s careers and cut their time in Korea short.

Characters (UAW)

Characters (SKZ)

Chapter 0: Birds of…

Chapter 0: …A feather

Chapter 1: People, Places, Promotions

Chapter 2: People, Places, Promotions

Chapter 3: Always there (Coming Soon)

Chapter 4: Always watching (Coming Soon)

Chapter 5: The Hierarchy (Coming Soon)

Chapter 6: Forever the Villain (Coming Soon)

Chapter 7: Forever the Stranger (Coming Soon)

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stayandcozy · 7 days

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Chapter 2: People, Places, Pecs

Chapter Summary: Sasha visits the apartment and encounters a range of vibrant personalities. Though initially intimidating, the boys quickly show their true selves. However, when she receives an important call, Sasha is forced to confront challenges from back home that disrupt her newfound sense of comfort.

WORD COUNT: 5100

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter (Coming Soon)

Support us on Wattpad too! You can find Paper Stars, here! <3

“Don’t let him fool you, Sasha, he’s just stalling for time because he knows his songs suck,” Kai playfully called over to me and elbowed Felix in the ribs. He must have caught my concerned expression, as Felix had been trying for a while now to get his phone to stream to the tv and had resorted to mumbling frustratedly at it, too busy to even rebuke Kai’s jab. I fought a tiny smile as I watched him from across the room, his brow scrunched in deep concentration.

Next to me on the leather couch, Solana was also quietly playing on her phone. She looked uncomfortable, shifting every so often. Everyone else was engaged in small talk, filling the room with a low hum of conversation while we waited. I played with my hands and glanced around the dorm again. There wasn’t much to look at, with the bare, white walls and polished hardwood floor giving the space more of a feel of a hotel room than a place where 8 boys lived together. I would occasionally catch something that made the space feel a little homier though, like the guitar resting in its case against the wall, a sticky note placed randomly with a hurried note scribbled on it, water rings on the table next to unused coasters, and discarded beanie hat on the back of the couch . I even thought I saw a cat go into one of the rooms as I came in, but couldn’t be sure.

Lonnie moved next to me, and I turned, thinking she was finally about to say something, but deflated a little as she just pulled her legs under her and continued to scroll on her phone. She had been quiet since we sat down, but I couldn’t figure out why. She didn’t seem mad or sad, and I made a mental note to ask her what was wrong after we returned to our own place later. We had grown so close so quickly, but I still felt like there were things about her I wasn’t even close to knowing yet. She said that if she hadn’t come along with me tonight I would have been fine, but little does she know that she’s the only thing really grounding me over here.

Korea is the polar opposite of where I grew up. I had never even taken a train before coming here and now it was my main form of transportation. The amount of people in the airport made me feel like I couldn’t breathe at first, let alone everywhere else. I missed my family, Laura especially. My dad had assured me he would be ok while I was gone, but I wasn’t sure how long that was going to be and I didn’t like the way Mom couldn’t meet my eyes when he told me that. The amount of nights I spent unable to sleep, the anxiety almost getting the best of me, were usually more often than not after moving here. But Lonnie was always there. Holding me, wiping me tears, assuring me it would all be ok. For some reason, I believed her when she said it.

I glanced down at her brownie that she barely touched, then whispered to her, “Lonnie, are you gonna eat that?”

We had eaten before we came over, but Felix surprised us by warming up some homemade brownies, the irresistible smell hitting us as soon as he brought them into the room. Kai assured us they were the best brownies we were ever going to have, and sure enough, mine was gone in about 2 seconds. I couldn’t even imagine how they would taste fresh out of the oven.

Solana looked over at me and shook her head. “No, babe, it’s all yours.”

I was about to press her to try it, but it looked too tempting and I replied with a hurried thanks before starting to eat her piece. I suddenly felt like I was being watched, and quickly looked up to meet Jeongin’s eyes across the room from where he was sitting with Claire. She was excitedly talking to him, and after glancing back at her, his gaze found mine again and he gave a small, friendly smile. I was alarmed at how fast my heart decided to start beating. I returned a shy smile, praying that I didn’t have any brownie on my face, and he watched me a moment longer before giving his attention back to Claire.

I was grateful that Jeongin and Felix especially had made us feel so welcome. Seungmin also greeted us kindly, but so far he had stayed more removed from the conversations, looking over the group occasionally in an extremely thoughtful manner. My eyes flicked over to the corner of the room, where I had almost forgotten the resident there, due to how quiet he had been all night. Even more so than Solana.

Bang Chan didn’t need to speak though. His presence filled whatever void his silence left. When we arrived, he gave us a tight smile and led us to the living room, but since then he hadn’t said a word. I looked over at him a few times and observed while he would watch Jeongin, Felix, and Seungmin carefully, like he might need to protect them from an enemy only he could see. Occasionally, his eyes would wander over to Claire and Colette since they were seated right in the middle of everyone, and even a few times over to Solana. He never looked at me, though, and I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or not.

“Got it!” Felix’s voice broke me out of my thoughts, and the screen in front of us flickered to life, showing a paused video.

“Finally! Good job, Grandma!” Kai said, shaking his head, while Claire and Collete clapped lightly for him.

Felix smirked at Kai and rolled his eyes before turning to me and Solana. I noticed that whenever Felix looked at you, you felt a little more important and seen. It was a nice feeling.

“Alright. Solana and Sasha… Are you ready to be introduced to some good music?” he threw a playful look at Jeongin who proceeded to feign hurt.

Lonnie put her phone down, her indicator that she was ready, I suppose. I popped the rest of the brownie into my mouth and nodded at Felix for the both of us.

“Good music? Is that what we’re calling it now?” Kai teased. Colette and Claire started to defend the boys, but they were interrupted by a loud, muffled voice.

“Hyuuuung, are you home? I can’t find my—"

A new guy suddenly walked out of a back room, catching all of us off guard. He was in gym shorts, with a towel draped over his shoulder and a toothbrush in his mouth. Most importantly, he was shirtless.

My face grew hot and my eyes widened as his own big eyes met mine. I was on the end of the couch and close enough to smell the soap he had used.

“Oh my god!” he yelled, his toothbrush falling out of his mouth.

I tried to avert my gaze, but as if his scream was a cue, another guy walked out (thankfully fully clothed) and instantly broke into wild laughter. I heard the boys behind me laughing too, and I whipped my head around to stare at Lonnie like What the hell?!

Her stunned expression told me she had no idea either.

Once the newer guy finished laughing, he went over to the frozen one and patted him on the back.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just never seen so many pretty girls before.” He smiled cheekily at the other one before looking over us all. “Hi, I’m Lee Know.”

Colette and Claire started their routine freak out as Kai called over, “What’s up, Minho?”

“Hey, Kai, I’m doing good. Nice to see your face around here again,” Lee Know waved at him before turning back to his poor friend next to him. “Han, go put on a shirt, you freak.”

The friend, who I assumed was Han, quickly muttered an apology and scurried off, still flustered. My face still felt warm too as Lee Know perched himself on the arm of the couch by me. I stared ahead, dumbfounded. How do you start a conversation with an idol?

“I’m Colette!” I heard a high voice call from the other side of the room, followed by a “And this is Claire!”

I winced. Colette and Claire had never given me a reason to think badly of them, and I genuinely enjoyed working with them. But I had also worked with enough girls like them to know that there was more to them than they let on.

Lee Know waved over at them while I looked at Lonnie again, expecting her to introduce herself next. I blinked in surprise though as I caught her back on her phone, indifferent to the new human who was right next to us. Before she could react, I swiped her phone out of her hands and sat on it.

“Sasha!” she whispered, but before I could scold her I heard the boy behind me switch his focus onto us.

“And what are your names?”

I gave Lonnie a look, and it must have been a pretty bad one because she tossed her hair behind her shoulder, straightened up, and replied. “Sorry, my mom’s been texting me all night. I’m Solana. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lee Know. ”

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, but still noticed his breath catch.

“Minho,” he said to her. “Please. And no worries, family comes first. I get that.”

I waited a second, then said lamely, “I’m Sasha.”

Minho looked down at me then and said almost playfully, “Hi, Sasha.”

I couldn’t help but return a little smile at him, but then my eyes wandered past him when Han emerged from the doorway again wearing a shirt this time. He approached us almost timidly, his hands in his pockets and his hair falling in front of his eyes.

“Good job getting dressed, Han, I’m so proud of you!” Minho said, slapping a hand down on Han’s shoulder. Han’s lips twitched in a small smile as Minho gestured to me and Lonnie. “Have you met our new friends? These are—”

“It’s ok, I heard all the introductions from the other room. I won't make you do them all again,” Han said, his smile growing bigger as he looked over at Minho who sighed appreciatively and dramatically.

“Good, because I’m starving so I’m gonna go order some food.” With that, Lee Know stood up and bounded out of the room and through the sliding glass doors that led to their kitchen.

Han continued to stand there, his hands still in his pockets. I patted the now vacant arm rest by me. “You can sit here if you want,” I called to him. “I really don’t bite, Han.” I tried out his name to show him things between us could be normal after our first, very memorable encounter.

He slowly looked up at me, and I was taken back that his eyes were still so big and deep, even when he wasn’t staring at me in shock. That is, until he started to smile at me and his eyes crinkled in a way that made me believe he had never done anything wrong in his life and needed to be protected at all costs.

“Thanks, Sasha,” he said, and came over to sit. I smiled back. So he had been listening.

Before I could talk to him any more, the room was filled with a deafening base, followed by a rhythmic beat blaring from the speakers. I looked back to see Felix staring at us with a victorious look on his face. Seungmin cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled over to us, “Grandma Felix wanted to get started before Grandpa Bang Chan fell asleep!”

Bang Chan finally moved at that as we all laughed, snatching a pillow off the couch to attack Seungmin with. I was struck by how quickly his entire aura changed, and definitely like this new one better than the one he had before. Even Lonnie lightened up next to me as heavenly singing and harmonizing filled the space.

Bang Chan had Seungmin in a loose chokehold by now, Felix and Kai were lip syncing the song, Claire and Colette were singing it for real, Jeongin was smiling contentedly, and I felt Han ease next to me. I reached over to take Lonnie’s hand as the lyric, “Hold my hand cuz we’re taking off,” was carried through the space by Felix’s smoothe, commanding voice. She squeezed my hand in return, and when the next song began I finally let myself think this was where I was meant to be in this moment, that I was allowed to be here and take up this space. I found that their lyrics were ideal for wandering thoughts, and their melodies carried the wordless feelings that had occupied my soul countless times.

I let my head fall back against the couch and closed my eyes as Felix played a new song. For the first time since coming to Korea, I started to feel truly at peace.

That is, until I heard a very real voice behind me declare, “Ne sonnim!”

I was aware of an incredibly loud, fast, and intense rap happening in the song blaring through the speakers, but could barely hear it over the blood rushing in my ears as I practically jumped off the couch, Lonnie next to me doing the opposite and acting like she wanted to curl into a ball and hide forever.

I heard Claire stifle a scream, Colette choke out a “Merde!” and the rest of the room burst into fits of laughter, dominated by a high, quick giggle that was new to me but made me want to smile even though I thought I was going to die a moment ago.

I whipped my head around to see someone new standing behind the couch, a half eaten piece of pizza in one hand and a Bacchus in the other. His broad shoulders and big smile established his powerful presence immediately, but it was a power that felt warm and welcoming, and I found myself giggling along with him as Felix turned the tv down and called, “Binnie, what on earth made you think that was a good idea?”

“You’re assuming he thinks, at all, Yongbok,” Seungmin replied matter-of-factly, and the new boy shot him a look, trying to be angry, before basically stuffing the rest of the pizza in his mouth and climbing over the back of the couch to sit snugly between Lonnie and Claire. I glanced at Lonnie to make sure she was ok, but the boy’s presence didn’t seem to set her on edge at all, and I could even see a glimpse of a smile on her face as he settled in.

“Everyone, meet Seo Changbin. Seo Changbin, meet everyone. You were late so you don’t get the formal introductions.” Han said on my other side.

Changbin groaned jokingly, and I found myself admiring the way he changed the atmosphere in the room. His face was kind and playful, but his eyes were set and observant, making him extremely present in the moment.

Claire and Colette introduced themselves immediately, and I also found myself feeling envious of their outward confidence. I wish I could be like them in that sense. Hell, I was sitting in a room full of idols pursuing my dream job in another country, why shouldn’t I be? Yet, I found myself remaining quiet as they struck up a conversation with them and Kai briefly before remembering who was on his other side and turning to Lonnie and I expectantly.

“Hiiii, I’m Changbin,” he said, placing his hand on his chest and indicating that he was, in fact, Changbin.

To my surprise, Lonnie began to introduce herself without further prompting, and I was proud of her for it.

“I’m Solana,” she said, mimicking him and placing her hand on her chest too, and earning another rapid giggle from Changbin. “And careful Changbin, I always get my revenge on those who strike against me first. Better sleep with one eye open.” She cracked a smile at him as he raised his eyebrows in a challenge.

“Good luck with that. I don’t scare easily.” Han snorted on the other side of me, causing Changbin to promptly remove the pillow he was sitting against and heave it at him. I heard an “Oof!” but before I could turn around to assess the damage, Changbin calmly asked me, as if nothing happened, “And you are?”

“Sasha,” I said, and gave him a genuine smile which he returned.

“Great to meet you all,” Changbin said, turning to the room again. “But I have to ask, what are you all doing here? No offense.”

“Sasha and Solana had never heard any of our music, and we had to change that,” Lee Know replied, entering the living room again holding a piece of pizza himself now.

“You didn’t change anything, you only got here 10 minutes ago!” Kai teased.

“No pizza for you, Kai.” Lee Know quickly said.

Before Kai could charge at him, Changbin whirled on Lonnie and I. “You’ve never heard our music?” he asked overdramatically, his mouth hanging open.

Han, apparently fine after the pillow attack, started to say, “Well, you guys told me Sasha’s heard one s-” but was cut off with another pillow to the face, this time thrown from across the room by Jeongin who was now sitting as innocently as only a maknae could.

“Well, now that you’ve heard some, do you have any favorites?” Changbin asked us excitedly, and I felt myself squirm a little under his gaze. I wasn’t expecting this, and I really didn’t want to disappoint or upset anyone, especially Bang Chan, who had still barely looked in our general direction during the night, much less spoke to us.

Lonnie didn’t seem to care what anyone, much less Bang Chan, had to think, and replied, “Cover Me.”

It seemed like it surprised them that she picked a softer one of their songs. After an entire night of stealing glances at each other, when she said her favorite, it was the only time Solana and Bangchan made eye contact.

“And you?” Changbin asked me mischievously.

I looked around the room at the faces of the boys that had intimidated me only hours ago. And they still did by all means, but after a glance at Colette and Claire too, I channeled some confidence from deep within me and said, “I really liked Broken Compass.”

I was met with a general reply of “Ooooooh!” and even a “Hm…” from Seungmin, which I took to mean he was at least a little pleased with that answer.

“Yeah, I open that song, it’s no big deal,” Han bragged from behind me, and when I gave a little laugh and turned to him, I was struck again by his smile, and how it made me feel confident enough to add, “I liked Blueprint a lot too.”

“I open that song!” Changbin exclaimed triumphantly but was quickly shot down by Seungmin’s blunt response.

“You hum the first few notes. You have to open your mouth to open a song.”

I tried not to laugh at that and Changbin’s scowl, while Han added, “I open that song too, then!”

I faced Han again. “I’m sensing a trend here.”

He gave a small shrug and scrunched his eyes nearly closed. “What can I say?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but then realized my mind had gone blank when he did that. What could I say?”

“I…” I started, but trailed off as I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I had it on Do Not Disturb, so I knew any message getting through was probably important. I pulled it out and saw a message from my mom: Call me.

My heart immediately started hammering as I thought what this could mean. I could only think of one thing. “I’ll be right back.”

I was hoping Han heard me since my voice was barely a whisper, and thankfully the rest of the group had slipped into more quiet conversation so I was able to escape to the kitchen, pulling the sliding glass doors closed as softly as I could so no one could see me shaking. I watched Lonnie turn to look for me, but I had my back faced to the living room before I could see what she did next.

I felt like I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs as I went over to the counter and braced my arms against it. I felt the cool surface of the countertop against my palms, grounding me back to where I was. I couldn’t do this here, not in their kitchen. I just had to calm down enough to call my mom, then I could head back out there. I mean, “call me” doesn’t necessarily mean that something’s wrong with Dad, does it?

A short breath escaped me as I tried to exhale a long one, and I frustratedly pushed my hair out of my face before bringing my phone back up to look at the message.

“Come on,” I tried to convince myself to make the call, but my chest was rapidly rising and falling and I was starting to feel a little lightheaded and-

My phone slipped out of my hands and I nearly screamed as the wall next to my head disappeared. Or rather, the fridge door that was open by me shut suddenly and I was left standing next to someone new.

He was a little taller than me so I had to tilt my head up to look at his face, but when I did I almost looked away again because it felt like I was looking at a human work of art, with messy hair and long eyelashes and dark eyes accenting a smooth canvas with high cheekbones and full lips. He seemed like style and aesthetic and craft brought to life. He exemplified a muse an artist could work on their whole lives to properly capture, but who would probably end up going crazy because they never really could.

He blinked, probably just as surprised as I was, and I felt my face start to get warm with embarrassment. I hope he didn’t hear too much of the state I was in a few moments ago.

“Sorry,” I basically had to remind myself how to speak as his eyes quickly roamed over my face, taking in my disheveled state. “I didn’t know you were in here—obviously, and I wouldn’t have come in if I had known…”

I trailed off as he wordlessly bent down and retrieved my phone from the ground. I cursed myself for not taking a step back as he straightened back up, still close enough that I could now make out a freckle under his eye. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly, and he raised an eyebrow intently as he brought his hand up between us, offering me my phone.

It felt wrong to think about touching him, as if I might mess him up somehow. I pinched the corner of my phone, careful to avoid his long fingers, and took it back sheepishly.

“Thank you,” I started, but then realized I didn’t know his name. I trailed off, waiting for him to finish my thought.

His smile grew and he looked at me in something that resembled amusement. After a pause, he said, “Hyunjin.” His tone suggested a hint of surprise, and I felt my cheeks flush again.

“Thank you, Hyunjin.” I said quietly, not knowing where to look.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and replied, “You’re welcome,” mimicking the tone I had used when I waited for him to tell me his name.

“Sasha,” I told him, smiling slightly back at him despite not feeling worthy enough to be in his presence ever again.

“You’re welcome, Sasha.” he said.

My legs decided to work again at that, and I took a tiny step away from him. Despite his lively gaze never wavering, my phone suddenly felt very heavy in my hands with the reminder of the message on it.

My heart began to beat a little faster again, and while my breathing was still even I said, “Is there a, uh, place where I could make a call?”

He tilted his head a little at that, squinting his eyes. “Why? Are you ok?”

I honestly didn’t know how to respond to that. I opened my mouth to try and nearly burst into tears right then and there when I heard Lonnie’s voice from behind me. “Sash? Everything good? You got up so fast and—” It was her turn to trail off now as she noticed Hunjin and my expression. Protectiveness flashed in her eyes but before she could say anything I gave her the most reassuring smile I could and said, “I was just talking to Hyunjin, he’s the last member we had to meet so I decided to, you know, meet him.”

She looked at me quizzically and I felt Hyunjin shift behind me before they exchanged introductions that I barely heard. Lonnie stepped closer to me and I realized I needed her help. Desperately.

As Hyunjin went back to the food he was pulling out of the fridge, I held up my phone with an unsteady hand so Solana could read the message on the screen. She knew about what was going on at home, and she would understand.

Her eyes grew more concerned but also softened as she looked at me, making my own eyes fill with tears. Whenever I was reminded of how lucky I was to have her I wanted to cry, but with these circumstances I wanted to break out into a full on sob.

I lowered my head to hide behind my hair as Lonnie looked past me at Hyunjin.

“We’re gonna head out,” she told him. “It was nice to meet you.”

He hesitated, then, “Ok. Nice to meet you, Sasha. You too, Solana.”

I exhaled a breath when he said my name and tried to flash a smile over my shoulder at him. He probably thought I was crazy, but it didn’t matter. Fine art should be kept at a distance, anyway.

We made our way back into the living room and I heard Lonnie tell everyone, “I’m getting a bit tired and think I’m gonna go, Sash is walking me home.”

I felt the atmosphere in the room change, which made me feel even worse. Lonnie put her hand on my back to push me towards the door.

“So soon?” I heard Jeongin say.

“Awwwwww,” Changbin and Lee Know said in harmony.

“Feel better,” Han said softly.

Seungmin and Bang Chan were silent, but I already knew they were for different reasons. I could feel Bang Chan’s eyes on us as Lonnie added, “Thanks for having us.”

Colette’s voice followed us into the hall, “Text me, mes amours.”

I held Lonnie’s hand the whole way out, muttering “Thank you” and “You can go back” and “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me.”

She squeezed my hand on the last one and replied, “Lovingly, shut up, babe.”

As soon as the night air hit me I felt like I could breathe again. All the thoughts and feelings of everything that had happened in the last few hours rose into the night like the skyscrapers of Seoul surrounding us. I let myself get lost in the twinkling lights and sounds of the city as Lonnie navigated us. We crossed streets, avoided people, and held onto each other as we found ourselves towards the center of the city. I heard the soft sound of running water and felt a cooler breeze on my face, and before I knew it we were looking down at the Han River.

Lonnie stood with me a moment, looking down at the still black water. She moved her hand to my arm, gave it a light squeeze, then slowly started walking farther along the bank, giving me some privacy. It was time.

Before I could overthink anymore, I called my mom and waited, the repetition of the dial tone and the water lapping below me bringing everything to almost a standstill.

“Sasha?”

“Mom?”

“Hey, Hon.”

“What’s up?”

She paused, and I closed my eyes.

“He was remitted. It doesn’t look bad but it doesn’t look good.”

I felt a tear finally escape, then another, and squeezed my lips shut so she wouldn’t hear me cry over the phone.

“So what’s next?” I asked.

“We’re not sure yet, we just got the news earlier.” She sighed, sounding tired.

“Do I need to—” I started, but she quickly stopped me.

“No, stay there. It’s not that serious and he’d want you to be over there still doing your best.” More tears at that, and I angrily swiped them away. “Ok. Where is he now?”

“He’s asleep, I can have him call you tomorrow.”

“Kay, talk to you tomorrow, Mom.” My voice broke a little against my will. “I love you.”

“Love you more.”

Before I could argue that I loved her most, she hung up. I slowly brought my phone down, let a deep breath out, then Solana was there.

She wrapped her arms around me and let me cry into her shoulder. She didn’t ask any questions, just rubbed my back and played with my hair and whispered words of comfort I couldn’t even understand. She let me cry until I felt like I had no tears left and the chilly wind had my wet cheeks feeling numb.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, pulling away and wiping my nose. She swiped her thumbs under my eyes, getting any tears I missed. Her expression wasn’t one of pity, but rather one of determination to give me the strength I didn’t feel like I had at the moment.

“Don’t you dare let this hold you back,” she told me. “You take this and you put all of it into your work, into your art. I’ve never met someone more deserving and capable of this career.”

I looked at her and found myself nodding, unsurely at first, then with a purpose.

I believed her.

Written by Cozy! <3

Happy Friday Everyone.

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stayandcozy · 7 days

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Chapter 0: … A Feather

Chapter Summary: Sasha makes a life-changing decision regarding her voice acting career. She grapples with feelings of doubt and vulnerability when she returns home, navigating her emotions and the reactions of her family. As she reflects on her artistic identity, an unexpected call leaves her contemplating her future.

WORD COUNT: 1995

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“Alright, Sasha, just one more time for good measure.”

I blinked slowly at my director from behind my microphone, swallowing what I really wanted to say, like always, and replying with forced amicability, “You don’t think there’s one take in there that the studio might like? I mean we’ve been doing this all morning…”

“I know, sweetheart—” I hoped I could pass my sigh off as a cough and cleared my throat a little “—but you know how those executives are.” Oh, I knew.

I chewed my lip for a moment, and allowed myself to remember my family’s proud, beaming faces each time I told them I booked another role. And then their looks of discomfort when they actually listened to the roles they were so excited I booked. And then their expressions of sadness when I entered the room after watching them from around the corner because I didn’t want to be in the same room as them when they heard me say some of the things I did. But business is business, right?

I centered my attention back onto the microphone in front of me and adjusted my headphones. Maybe this was the role that would finally break me out of this pattern, the cycle that nearly all voice actors who weren’t blessed with a deep enough, masculine enough voice found themselves in. Maybe this would finally reach that one, certain person who could help me out of it and get me to really love creating things again. Maybe. I nodded at my director, who was already watching me, like always, and took another deep breath. Just say the line one more time. Just one more time.

The red light began to glow. I saw my family’s faces. I opened my mouth.

“I quit.”

I was out of the studio almost as fast as the obscenities started, but heard some words thrown at me before the door slammed that would make even my farmhand grandfather wince. I barely heard them though, I just numbly watched my feet carry me forward, out onto the hot asphalt and to my car. I think I blinked for the first time then, and fumbled around in my bag with shaky hands for my keys. For a moment, I was worried I had left them inside and would have to go back in, but I let out a breath as I found them and clambered into the driver’s seat.

I placed my hands on the steering wheel, like I was just about to drive home and have a normal night, before repeating my normal routine tomorrow of waking up and driving back here. Then I realized I hadn’t started the car. Then I realized I wouldn’t be coming back here, ever again. So, I processed it like anyone would, and screamed.

I held the steering wheel in a white-knuckle grip and screamed until my throat was raw. Hell, I wasn’t going to need to use it for a while now. I yelled in relief that I had finally walked away from this shithole of a studio, and in fear of what the fuck I was going to do next, and in anger that everyone in there thought they could use me the way they did for so long. And, in anger that I let them.

After what felt like a liberating eternity, I stopped, breathing heavily. It was hot, and I had forgotten to put my sunshade up in my car. The air was static and stifling, and my hands were burning on my steering wheel. I pulled them back, the pain bringing an awareness of my new reality. I drew in one more deep breath, and as I blew it out I started the car. One thing at a time.

My thoughts were still screaming, but I managed to put the car into drive and crank up the air conditioner. I took one last look at the studio as I pulled away, feeling no gratitude towards it or remorse for leaving it. I did let one intrusive thought win, though, as I passed the window I knew to be my manager’s office, I rolled my window down, leaned outside a bit, and thrust my middle finger out towards his open blinds.

“Thanks for nothing, assholes!” I yelled, and proceeded to speed the wrong way down their stupid one way street.

I managed to make it home before the doubt seeped in, but by the time I stumbled through the garage door of my family’s house, the screaming thoughts in my head had become a deafening roar.

My parents’ heads turned from where they were sitting on the couch, and I tried to smile at them and greet them normally, despite the fact that I was home hours early.

“Hi, Honey,” my mom said, making her way over to me. I could tell she was confused, but I was determined not to let her know why yet. I didn’t want anyone else to worry.

“Heyyy!” I said lightly, then cringed. Come on, Sasha, be normal!

“How was work?” Dad asked. I gulped. My living room felt so small all of a sudden, with Mom still looking at me and Dad’s question lingering in the air. Were they teaming up on me? They’d never done that before, but were they now? I tried to take a breath. Calm down.

Work was fine. Work was normal. Work was great!

“I quit.”

I looked almost as surprised as they did. The words just came tumbling out before I could stop them. There was a beat of silence, where we all looked at each other and I thought I could try and backtrack my way out of this with a “just kidding!”

Then, a new voice. “You quit?”

My gaze found that of my younger sister’s as she slowly sat up on the couch from where she had been laying down. No wonder I hadn’t seen her when I came in. And that was it for me. I felt my eyes well up with tears that had been threatening to spill for a while now. Laura had always been my rock and my biggest supporter, just like I was hers. She was the one always celebrating with me first when I booked a new role and cheering me on when I auditioned for something new. She was the one who’s face I could never look at when I begrudgingly showed my family my work. Now, she looked at me with an unreadable expression, which might have been worse.

“Yeah,” I choked out. “Yeah I did.”

I didn’t want to talk about it, but I also wanted them to understand. I just didn’t even know where to begin.

“That’s ok,” my mom said quietly, looking over at my dad. “Really, that’s… it’s ok.”

“Do we need to call a—?” My dad started, then exhaled a deep breath. “Are you ok?”

I hurriedly managed to blink back my tears. “I was going to renew my contract next week, so it actually worked out-” I stopped before I could continue that statement. My living room suddenly felt too small, and my shirt suddenly felt too tight, and I suddenly had the urge to isolate myself from my family as quickly as I could.

Mom sounded a little more relieved at that as she said, “Ok, that’s good at least. Really, it’s ok.” she repeated for the hundredth time as I tried to swallow down the panic that was still rising. Then, “We can find another payment option for your dad’s treatment until we’re all working again.”

I unsuccessfully covered up a sob with a cough as I nodded fervently at the ground, avoiding their eyes. Fuck, I’m selfish.

“Um,” my sore voice cracked, and I sniffed before continuing, “I’m gonna go and take a shower. I—” I love you. “I’m sorry.”

My mom made a move like she wanted to reach out but I had already slipped past her and into the hallway. I managed to hold my tears in until I closed my door behind me and bit my lip so my family wouldn’t hear me. I leaned my head back against the door and let them run down my cheeks and neck, into my hair, wherever they pleased. Like they could wash these thoughts out of my head as they escaped.

Selfish, Ungrateful, Burden.

I straightened up, and without thinking went over to my childhood dresser, full of old awards I had won for acting, singing, painting. My breathing was frantic as my eyes skimmed them over, unseeing. What the hell were these even for?

Without thinking, I shoved them off my dresser and onto the floor, finally grateful for the cheap carpet in my room for masking the sound. I pushed the awards behind my dresser with my foot, not even wanting to see anything remotely like that right now.

When a thought struck, I whirled towards the journal I kept on my desk for writing and I clawed at it, ripping pages out and crumbling them up before giving a second thought as to what was on the paper. The continuous tears made my head feel clearer somehow, as I stood back up and turned towards the easel by my window. I had been painting sunflowers, my favorite, to give to my parents to thank them for everything they had sacrificed for me. I let out a harsh laugh as I slowly walked over to it, picked it up, and brought it down over my knee.

I let out a quiet cry as I tossed the ruined painting to the side and collapsed onto my bed, surrounded by all the art I killed. My old studio flashed into my mind, and I realized I shouldn’t have thanked them for nothing, it looks like they completely destroyed my passion for making anything for myself.

I laid there for what felt like hours but knew it wasn’t, because a light knock on my door had me quickly dabbing my still wet cheeks and sitting up. I attempted to fix my hair, then took in the state of the rest of the room and quickly gave up.

“Yeah?” I called out.

In a response, my door cracked open and Laura peeked her head in, making me want to cry all over again. Her eyes swept over the room and she sighed. “Damn, I knew you were dramatic but this?”

“What’s up?” I asked, ignoring her as she made her way in to sit next to me.

“We’re gonna be fine, you know,” she said, her big blue eyes looking right through me. “Me, Mom… Dad. And seriously, why are you acting like your career is over? You’ve auditioned plenty of times, I’m sure-”

“It’s not that,” I cut her off. “It’s… I just don’t…” I groaned and flopped back down on my bed. “I don’t want to audition anymore, or even make art anymore. And that scares me. Like, art for me makes me happy, but what’s that going to do in the world? So why make it?”

Laura laid down next to me and stared at my ceiling. “I don’t know. I’m the STEM sister, remember?” She cracked a smile and nudged my ribs, making me smile for the first time all day. “But would you really not take a role if it was offered to you right now?”

I closed my eyes. “Not unless it was the perfect role that would somehow pay the bills and reinstill some sense of hope in my artistic future.”

“Oh…” she said after a while.

“Yeah.” I said shortly, beginning to feel a little tired and ready to fall asleep right then and there. I felt Laura take my hand.

And then my phone rang. My agent.

“Hello?” Despite my new, stubborn resolve I found myself habitually answering.

I barely got my greeting out before my agent asked, breathlessly, “Are you ready for the perfect role?”

AUTHOR NOTE: (Cozy)

Thank you for taking the time to get to know Sasha! I hope you found it as enjoyable and relatable to read about her as I found it to write about her!

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