#special shout out to the actors who don’t make a lot of money

[thatrandomblogsays]

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[Image ID: the destiel meme, Cas is saying ‘I love you’ below him is Dean with the caption ‘The SAG strike has ended. The union has reached a tentative agreement with AMPTP. Go union!]

[sassy-ahsoka-tano]

DADDY ISSUES - Part Four: Vegas

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Your new life is amazing, without Elvis. Well, at least until you get a mysterious package in the mail that's about to change your life. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: a friend fight with some harsh words that were painful to write but i don't think anything else!

Rating: Pg-13 || Word Count: 5058

A/N: ahhh it's been AGES i know but i've been working hard so expect lots of updates!! i have several parts already queued. i'll be posting a chapter every tuesday + thursday until the fic is completed!

also just a reminder that there's a playlist if you're interested and i've put the link to the taglist below!

Song Rec: vegas - doja cat

This is Part 4 of Daddy Issues. Find the rest of the series here!

[ masterlist | taglist ]

🦋 mila

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A year later, you find yourself living in a brand new apartment with Trixie, the girl whom you stood next to during the chaotic filming of the 68 Comeback Special. Apparently, her family is extremely well-off and has absolutely no issue sending her money without question. Although you’ve tried to assure Trixie about a thousand times that you don’t want nor need the money she continues to shovel into your pocket, she insists on supporting you. At first, it was easier to give in because you actually really did need the money, since you were unemployed with no prospects and a scant resume. But now, you’re just starting to feel selfish.

Fortunately, with Steve’s help you’ve managed to secure a job working at KNBC, California’s NBC television station. You might still just be a secretarial worker, but a job is a job. Surprisingly, you find yourself with an unprecedented amount of free time compared to what you had when you were constantly picking up night and weekend shifts every other week at the diner. Not to mention that you make a lot more, too. It’s nothing to brag about by any means, but far more than enough to get you back on your feet. Slowly but surely, your debts dwindle little by little every day.

So far, living with Trixie has been pure bliss. She’s incredibly sweet and very neat and tidy. She doesn’t leave her laundry on the floor, always takes the trash out, and is usually cheerful in the morning. Some days, she even meets you in the kitchen with a carafe of steaming hot coffee already brewed. She never brings home creepy guys who hang around past their welcome and she’s nothing but respectful of your space. She works similar hours to you as a designer at a fashion magazine conveniently located only a couple of blocks down the road from KNBC.

You honestly couldn’t have asked for a better situation and, for the first time in a very long time, you feel safe, happy, and healthy. Little do you know what’s to come when a surprise package shows up on your doorstep.

You’re in the bathroom, elbows deep in water and soap as you wash your face first thing in the morning. Trixie, the early morning bird she is, has been awake for several hours already and is in the kitchen making breakfast. With the bathroom door closed, you can hardly hear anything going on down the hall so it takes you a moment to process Trixie’s shout that you’ve received a delivery. Squinting your eyes to protect them from the soap sliding down your face, you turn toward the door and yell back.

“Who’s it from?”

A few seconds of silence pass before Trixie replies.

“Uh…Y/N, why are you getting a package from E…ley?”

You shake your head. You can barely hear her over the sound of the water and the closed door. Your fingers quickly scramble to turn off the faucet and you grasp for a towel to hurriedly dry your face before rushing out of the bathroom. Sticking your head around the corner, you glance at Trixie with furrowed eyebrows.

“What did you say?” you ask.

“The package,” she responds, holding it up, “it’s from Elvis Presley.”

“I…from who?”

“Can you hear me, honey? Elvis. Elvis Presley? Famous musician and actor? We're both huge fans? We were in the audience while he filmed his comeback special on NBC? Ringing any bells here?” Trixie gestures wildly, her eyes big and wide.

You shake your head and approach her, holding out your hands so she can pass the package along to you. As soon as it touches your fingers, you snatch it up and sit down on the couch in the living room. Sure enough, as you look at the address label on the package, there it is. Elvis Presley.

To be perfectly honest, you’ve all but forgotten about him. With everything going on in your life, you’ve been too busy to pay attention to celebrity gossip or keep track of the music charts. You also have to admit that you might have been more inclined to forget him after suffering the embarrassment of turning down his…offer.

Glancing up at Trixie, you see her biting the nail of her thumb anxiously, a big grin breaking through her face. You shake your head again and sigh a deep breath before your fingers start digging into the wrapping of the package. Once you’ve torn through the wrapping paper and flipped open the cardboard box, your fingers catch onto something soft and silky. Shooting a confused expression at Trixie, you pull out the object and stand to let it unfold. Your breath catches in your throat as it drops down into its full form. Trixie shares the expression, her gasp accompanying yours.

“Oh my god…” she says in awe.

You hold it up to your body and wander over to the floor-length mirror hanging in the entryway. As you press the fabric against your figure, your eyebrows raise. It’s almost the same blue color as your horrible dress from Chadney’s Restaurant, the one you’d been wearing when you officially met Elvis for the first time. Although the color is comparable, the quality is nowhere near the same. This dress is made of silk, softer than any fabric you’ve ever felt before, and definitely a major upgrade from the scratchy cotton of your old work uniform. The dress has a sweetheart neckline with a cut out of the side and a leg slit that rides higher than you’d normally be comfortable with. As you run your fingers over the seams, you feel a few hand-cut jewels. They look like diamonds, although your brain is incapable of believing that.

“Hey, there’s a note with it,” Trixie’s voice knocks you out of your disbelief and you turn toward her.

She hands it over to you and, as you unfold it, two long green strips of paper fall out. Trixie bends to pick them up and examines them as you read the handwritten script of the letter out loud, although the handwriting is atrociously difficult to decipher.

“Cinderella,” you pause and gulp as your brain flashes back to the moment when Elvis had first called you that. When he’d invited you into his dressing room after the special. When he’d pulled your panties from his robe pocket…

“Cinderella,” you clear your throat and continue, “I figured I oughta replace that blue dress you ruined on account of me. I hope you like this one better and that you find the rest of the contents of this package to your taste.”

You pause, your eyes wandering over toward the package which, apparently, has more to give. You reach for it, digging underneath the wrapping paper until your fingers curl onto something lacy. You pull it out and heat immediately floods your face and neck. Trixie’s hand flies onto her mouth as you both stare in silence at an expensive-looking lingerie set hanging from your fingertip. You immediately drop it back into the package and shiver.

“What does the rest of the letter say?” Trixie asks, leaning forward to glance at the note over your shoulder.

“Uh…replace that blue dress, blah, blah, blah…contents of this package…Don’t make me wait until midnight. And don’t forget who-”

You stop abruptly as your brain circles around the last few words of the letter.

“What?” Trixie asks, peering more intensely over your shoulder. “What does it say, Foxie? I can barely read his chicken scratch.”

Foxie is the nickname Trixie had started calling you. Until this point, you’ve never understood why. But as your eyes roam over the contents of the package Elvis sent you, you start to understand that maybe you’re more of a fox than you realized.

“Don’t forget who owns you, princess.”

Trixie’s mouth pops open and she stares at you with wide eyes. You collapse further onto the couch and cover your eyes with your palms. Your heart pounds in your chest as you run through everything you just discovered.

“Wait, I’m sorry…did I miss something?” Trixie asks. “What the hell is all of this, Y/N?”

“It’s nothing,” you reply a little too quickly. “It must be some kind of a joke or something. I don’t know.”

“Some joke! Some expensive joke. These fell out of the letter,” she says, handing over the two green strips of paper.

Your eyes widen as you scan the printed text on the paper. Two tickets to one of Elvis’ concerts at the International Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. You run a hand over your face and toss the tickets back into the cardboard box they came in. With a building rage, you grab onto the other contents of the package and shove them back in, tucking the wrapping paper back over them like a blanket.

“No, no this is insane. I don’t know what kind of sick joke this is. But no,” you mutter to yourself.

“Y/N, honey…I really don’t think this is a joke. I mean, two front row tickets to an Elvis Presley concert in Las Vegas? Do you know how expensive these are? Who would blow that much money just to get a laugh? I can’t even think of anyone else you know and I certainly didn’t pull this stunt.”

“Look, I don’t know, but I can’t believe that…well, he wouldn’t have any reason to send this to me. I mean, I told him no the last time he offered, so he should-”

“What? What do you mean you ‘told him no?’ Y/N what is going on here that I don’t know about? I’m completely lost.”

Shit. You slipped.

“Oh, no. It’s nothing,” you stutter, waving your hands frantically. “It was…nothing.”

“Well, it was obviously something?” Trixie gestures to the package. You sigh and she places a hand on your shoulder. “Foxie, I’m your best friend in the world. You can tell me anything.”

Your gaze drops down to her brightly painted purple nails and you heave a deep breath before lifting your gaze to hers. Her eyebrows are furrowed in concern and you know that she genuinely does care about your well-being.

“You’re technically my only friend in the world, Trix. But yes, I guess something did happen that I never told you about.”

“Well, what is honey? Now, I really have to know,” she gestures to the package again and you chuckle.

“Well, to start off, the 68 special wasn’t the first time I saw Elvis. I saw him in 1956 at Russwood Park, too.”

“Right. I remember. We’ve talked about it plenty of times. What does that concert have to do with this?”

“Well, I maybe…kind of, sort of…did an embarrassing thing.”

“Like…what?” she quirks an eyebrow and you squeeze your eyes shut to counter the embarrassment you feel rising in your chest.

“I slid my underwear across the stage at that concert,” you blurt, wincing at the memory of your own actions. “And apparently I made an impression because he, Elvis I mean, sent his producer to bring me to the dressing room after we filmed the special. It was several hours after, so you were probably long gone by then. I was staying with my cousin, Steve, you remember him. Anyway, so I wound up in Elvis’ dressing room and it was just the two of us and he just…he just pulled my panties out of his pocket! The ones I’d given him, you know, years and years ago. I mean, I never in my wildest dreams would have expected…do you think he washed them? I mean, ew!”

“Calm, Foxie! Calm and focus. Slow words.”

“Right, sorry,” you laugh painfully and gulp before continuing. “Uh, after he pulled my panties out he sort of asked me if I…like, if I wanted to be his…sugar baby?”

Trixie’s eyes close and reopen wider and she leans forward as if she hasn’t heard you correctly. She blinks in shock.

“Well, what did you say? Did you tell him no?”

“Yeah, I said it was wrong. That I’m not the kind of person who sleeps with married men. Apparently, he didn’t take the hint because…” you gesture again to the infamous package.

“Yeah, I’d say not. What did he offer you? That’s how it works, right? You take care of him and he does something for you?”

“He offered to pay my debts and buy me gifts and stuff. The usual things, I imagine?”

“And he hasn’t contacted you since then until now?”

“Not one time.”

A few moments of silence pass. Trixie settles back into the couch, tapping her finger on her leg, obviously deep in thought. Your eyes just lazily drag around the scattered contents of the package as you contemplate what to do.

“Maybe…” Trixie starts, “you should go see what he wants?”

Your head snaps toward her.

“What?”

“I don’t know, maybe…maybe he has a different offer for you. Or maybe you can finagle your way into an even better arrangement.”

You throw your hands up, motioning for her to stop.

“Trixie, what are you talking about? I can’t do this. It’s wrong.”

“Yeah, I know, but you could use the extra cash and, after all, it is Elvis Presley.”

You just stare at her for a moment, your eyes flicking around her face to see whether she’s joking. Based on what you gather from her expression, she’s being completely serious. You scoff and stand up, grabbing harshly onto the box to take it right to the trash can.

“I can’t believe you would even say that, Trix. I expected better from you.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Trixie asks, standing and propping her hands on her hips.

“For God’s sake, Trixie! The man is married with a baby. What would I do to all of that if I said yes? I’m not a homewrecker. All he wants to do is use me anyway. He’ll probably drop me in three days for another woman. No thanks, not gonna happen. I’m not doing this.”

“Well, give it all to me, then,” Trixie shouts back, stalking over toward you and grabbing ahold of the package. You pull back firmly, preventing her from snatching it out of your fingers.

“Excuse me? What are you gonna do? You’re gonna go see him?”

“Maybe I will.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but he doesn’t want you. He wants me!” you shout, ripping the package away from her.

“Oh, that’s very nice of you. If you’re not gonna take him up on it, someone should!” she yells back, reaching for the package again.

“If you didn’t want to support me financially any more you could have just said it!”

“Don’t even!” she holds up her pointer finger. “You know very well that’s not what this is about. I have no problem helping you. You’re the one who’s always complaining about how pathetic it is that you have to mooch off me.”

“And not everyone has the luxury to just leave their lives, you know!” you yell. “I have to work, Trixie. To pay my bills, to keep my car, to avoid going to prison. Not everyone’s mommy and daddy are around to bail them out when they make stupid decisions!”

Right after the words escape your lips, your eyebrows unfurl and grief settles quickly in the depths of your stomach. When you notice a few glinting tears gathering in Trixie’s eyes, the reality of what you’ve said and its consequences are all too clear. Trixie huffs and stares at you for a moment before spinning on her heel and stalking down the hallway to her room. You drop the box on the counter and thrust your face into your hands, jumping at the rigid sound of her bedroom door slamming shut.

“Why don’t you just leave me alone?” you whisper to Elvis’ nonexistent frame as you toy with a piece of the wrapping paper.

You’d lied to Trixie, which you now feel increasingly bad about. You had heard from Elvis. Just a few letters here and there for the first couple of months after you rejected him the first time. You threw them all away without opening a single one. After a while, they just stopped coming and you thought you were in the clear. You were obviously wrong.

You glance around the apartment, thinking about how lucky you are to even be living here in the first place. Guilt racks through your body painfully and you sniff back a couple of tears before reaching across the table to grab the two tickets. As your eyes circle around the words, you sigh and then shuffle down the hall toward Trixie’s room. With a deep breath, you knock quietly on the door and lean against it.

“Trixie? I’m so sorry, Trix. I’m just overwhelmed and frustrated. I didn’t mean to call you stupid or…shame you for your upbringing. And I really shouldn’t dare considering how much you’ve done for me,” you say quietly, resting your forehead against the door. “It just feels so…unreal. This whole Elvis situation. Don’t get me wrong, of course I’m interested but it just…feels so wrong. He’s married with a kid and I…I’m scared.”

You wait a few seconds but hear nothing on the other side of the door. You turn with a dejected sigh and retreat to hide in your room. But as soon as you turn your back, the door clicks open. You whirl back around to see Trixie peeking her head out.

“I’m sorry,” you say but she holds up a hand.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be doing that. I have no right telling you what to do with your life. I certainly shouldn’t be mad at you for not accepting. This situation is very…unusual. I guess I just got jealous at the idea that the Elvis Presley wants you so badly that he went to all this trouble. And I hate to see you struggling. I know the money would reduce a lot of stress so I just think you should…I don’t know, consider it.”

“I know, Trix. I could use the money, of course. But I’m scared and embarrassed. What’ll happen if I eventually get old or uninteresting? If he gets bored of me and drops me for someone else? I barely know the man but he feels dangerous to me. Steve said something about him being unfaithful to his wife and…it’s just all so much.”

Trixie nods, leaning against the doorframe and crossing her arms over her chest. You sigh loudly.

“At the same time, though…” you offer a small smile and pull the two tickets from your back pocket. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take him up on this? It’d be a shame to waste two front row tickets, especially with how expensive they are nowadays. And it would give me the opportunity to tell him off once and for all. What do you think? Another roomie adventure?”

You wiggle the tickets in the air with a suggestive shrug. Trixie laughs and nudges the door open with her hip. She throws her arms around your shoulders and you lean into her touch, closing your eyes and squeezing tightly. When she releases you, you’re greeted by a massive smile on her beautiful face.

“I guess we should get packing, then,” you say, gesturing at the tickets which have tomorrow’s date printed all over them.

“I’ll call the hotel and make reservations!” Trixie shouts, clapping her hands together.

With that, she disappears into her room to start packing. You trudge back into the kitchen to retrieve the package and then disappear into your own room. A few minutes later, you hear Trixie’s favorite Elvis record playing from her room.

You spend most of the day packing and preparing to leave since you’ll need to depart first thing in the morning to make the concert on time. At least one full hour is spent on the phone with your boss at KNBC as you try to explain why you can’t come in tomorrow. Another hour is wasted when you spend it calling everyone you know at the office to see if they’ll fill in for you. Luckily, the last person on your contact list agrees to take your shift. You thank them endlessly and accidentally promise an autograph from Elvis, although you aren’t sure if you plan on being that close to him.

You pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow that night and, even though you’ve both slept in, you and Trixie are groggy as ever in the morning.

As you lift your suitcase from the bed, your eyes land on the package from Elvis, half-unopened and not packed in your case. You pause in the doorway for a moment, staring at it. Last night, it was all too clear why you shouldn’t bring it. The answer to his proposal was and always would be a firm no. But this morning, as your gaze falls frozen on the beautiful things he’d sent you and the haunting words he’d written, your heart thumps with anticipation. Sighing frustratedly, you click open the suitcase and shove both the dress and the lingerie inside.

You and Trixie leave LA around 11 a.m., piled into her blue Jeep Wagoneer. Two hours into the four hour trip, you switch off and take the wheel so Trixie can get some extra rest. She was awake until two in the morning pairing up the perfect outfits. To your surprise, the drive is over in a flash and, the next thing you know, you’re inching through the Vegas Strip, stuck in horrific traffic.

You check your wristwatch as you get caught by yet another red light. You have roughly four hours to get ready for the show. After parking and checking in at the front desk, you take your bags upstairs to get unpacked. Even with exploring the hotel, grabbing dinner, and getting changed for the concert (which includes the forty minutes you spent debating whether or not you should wear the blue dress Elvis sent you), you find yourselves with time to spare. You decide to head down early and see if you can get seated before the rush.

When you arrive outside of the showroom, you’re shocked to see the area relatively deserted. You check the ticket twice to make sure before approaching the security guard standing in front of the doors.

“Hi,” you say cheerily. “We’re here for the Elvis show and were just wondering if it’d be possible for us to be seated a little early? If not, that’s alright, but we figured we’d check.”

“Well,” the guard starts, his eyes tracking not-so-sneakily up and down yours and Trixie’s figures. “We normally don’t allow people in before the scheduled time, but I might be able to make an exception for two ladies as lovely as yourselves.”

He winks and you press your lips together to keep from laughing. You glance at Trixie out of the corner of your eye and see her holding a finger to her mouth to mask her amusement.

“Oh, that’d be awfully sweet of you…Henry,” Trixie says, flashing him her most charming smile.

Your eyes drop down to see his nametag which reads Henry. You bite your tongue as you watch Henry flash Trixie a smile. He glances around the surrounding casino floor to see if anyone else is watching before pushing open the big black door behind him. He gestures with his hand.

“Please come on in, ladies. Will you need help finding your seats today?”

“Oh, you’re too generous, Henry,” you say as you both glide past him into the showroom. “But I think we’ll be alright. If we get lost, we’ll be sure to find you.”

You throw in a wink for good measure and spin on your heel, dragging Trixie into the room. Only a few steps inside and you’re both laughing so hard that you can barely breathe. Your laughs dry up in a couple of seconds, however, when you start to take in the space. You mutter in awe and point around the room, admiring details like the golden curtains pulled over the stage and the ornate statues adorning each column. You pull out the tickets and use them to direct you both toward your seats in the front row.

“Damn, we’re literally right here,” you muse, glancing straight ahead of you onto the front of the stage.

You’re seated at a round table that’s clad with a very fanciful tablecloth, dishes, and wine glasses. A candle, unlit, rests in the middle of the table and there’s a note propped up against the glass. You tilt your head as you reach out to grab it.

“Oh my god,” you mutter as you read the writing on the outside. Princess.

“Ooh, what’s that?” Trixie asks, plopping into one of the chairs next to you. You open the note as you join her.

“Princess, I’m so glad you made it. When you get here, come see me backstage. I have a present for you,” you read, your eyebrows furrowing.

You glance at Trixie but she just raises her eyebrows and shrugs. With a deep breath, you grab onto your purse, still clutching the note in your fingers.

“Alright, well I guess now’s as good a time as any to break the hard news. I’ll be back, I hope. If anything happens to me back there, you get everything in the apartment,” you say with a goofy smile.

Trixie laughs and shoos you away just in time for the showroom doors to open and release a line of audience members into the area. You hurry toward a door on the left side of the stage which you assume leads to the backstage area, considering the security guard who stands in front of it. You clear your throat before announcing yourself.

“Uh, hi! I’m here to see Elvis. Well, everyone is here to do that, I guess, but I have this note and uh…well, here,” you say nervously and hand over the letter. He examines it as you wait and anxiously wring out your fingers.

“Y/N?”

Your head spins as a vaguely familiar voice sounds from behind you. A smile immediately spreads across your face as you recognize Elvis’ producer, Jerry. You give him a wave and a shrug as heat creeps into your face.

“Hi…” you greet him quietly.

“It’s nice to see you again,” he says, approaching you. He waves off the guard dismissively. “She’s good to go. He’s been expecting her for a long time. Here, I’ll show you back.”

The guard shimmies out of the way so Jerry can open the door. He gestures for you to enter with a smile and you thank him as you step through.

“Changed your mind, huh?” Jerry asks as you follow him through the backstage area.

“Uh, no actually. Not really. I’m just here to tell him to save his postage,” you say, feeling the need to justify yourself although you can’t explain why.

“Can’t blame you. These kinds of situations don’t work for everyone, although this will be a first for him.”

“Do you think he’ll be disappointed?” you ask jokingly.

“Oh I’d bet on it.” Apparently Jerry didn’t take your question as a joke. “Like I said before he’s been waiting for you, specifically, for a long time. I’m sure he’ll be very disappointed, but don’t let that stop you. It is your decision, after all. Good luck.”

Jerry points toward a dressing room door with big black letters which read ELVIS. You clear your throat and thank Jerry. He nods curtly and then spins on his heel to return to the work he probably needs to get done before the show starts. You straighten the hem of the blue dress he’d sent you and clutch firmly onto the strap of your purse, into which you’d also stuffed the lingerie at the last minute. It suddenly occurs to you that perhaps you were supposed to wear the lingerie under the dress…

Oh well, you think to yourself. Too late now.

You take a few deep breaths and smile awkwardly at the cast and crew who pass through the area on their way to get ready for the show. You know it’s ridiculous to think that everyone knows why you’re here but, despite the sheer unlikeliness of it all, you still feel embarrassed and shameful that you actually came. A few times, you debate backing away and returning to your table with Trixie to just enjoy the show. But something stops you every time. Eventually, your desire and curiosity move you forward and your knuckles knock on the door three times.

Ignoring the fight or flight mechanism that triggers in your chest, you wait for the door to open. In a matter of seconds, your wish is granted and he stands before you. He’s wearing an incredibly detailed white jumpsuit with flared pants and a popped collar. It’s unbuttoned all the way down to his waist and you gulp as your eyes immediately fly to the bare skin of his chest. As your gaze flicks back up to his face, you find him smirking down at you, his eyes already hungrily digesting your figure which stands in front of him. His body is elongated and pulled taut as he leans against the doorframe. He still looks good, as healthy and as sexy as ever, although his sideburns and hair are much longer than they had been almost a year ago.

“Princess,” he says in a voice even deeper than you remember. You begin to notice the painful thudding of your heart against your chest as his eyes take you in. “I figured you weren’t comin.”

This is it, the perfect opportunity for you to reject him and explain why you can’t take him up on his offer. But your brain stalls. It’s completely blank as you stare up at him with helpless doe eyes. He examines your figure once more before pushing the door open to create a space underneath his armpit for you to enter. You glance up at him, waiting for further instructions as if you need a translation. He flips his head toward the room.

“Inside.”

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[sweetscenes]

 @diamondcladclown​ asked: Harley x wade for the shipping meme please

DOMESTIC SHIP MEME

 the babes, once again specific to ur specific harley 

who reaches out to new neighbors

 They both have the capability and skills to reach out to new neighbors, being extroverts and all. But ultimately Harley is more likely to. Wade gets distracted easily, and he’d forget he even had new neighbors. Harley is much more likely to go take over cookies or something. 

who remembers to buy healthy food

 This is tough because they are both disasters. If anything, Ivy and Cable ( and sometimes spidey ) are the ones who are bringing in the food to make sure their asses don’t get malnourished. But if it’s either or, it’s Wade. There are vegetables used in Mexican cooking, which is what he primarily makes. So yeah, by default, him. 

who remembers to buy junk food

 They both do, but again, it’s Harley by a slight difference. She’d pick up tons of sweets and candy, while Wade would stick with his chips and maple syrup. So by default, Harley. 

who fixes the oven when it breaks

 Wade, he fucks up a few times but he manages to pull it off. He also likely broke it in the first place, so he sees it as his duty to fix it. Plus, he’s skilled with mechanics due to his vast array of knowledge regarding doing shit himself. 

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s)

 Harley. Wade couldn’t take care of a houseplant, let alone a whole ass pet. He definitely cuddles and plays with Bud and Lou, but it’s Harley who does the heavy lifting with pet care simply because Wade will forget. However, he will turn frighteningly competent and turn into a perfect caregiver when Harley is in Arkham or Blackgate. 

who wakes up earlier

 Harley. They both wake up late, but Harley seems much more energetic and ready to take on the day. Wade is also energetic and bubbly, but he is definitely the type to drag his feet on certain days. 

who makes the bed

 They don’t. But when they bother, it’s Harley. Wade has no self discipline when it comes to stuff like that, Special Ops or no Special Ops. 

who makes the coffee

 Wade. He and Harley put a shit ton of sugar and syrups into their coffee they might as well just start doing coke... a cola. 

who burns breakfast

 Wade. He tries, he really does, but it ends up burnt simply because he’s trying to do a million different things. One thing turns out super well! The rest are smoldering piles of ash. 

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house

 Harley will just straight up hug Wade and give him a kiss before waltzing out the door. Sometimes on skates. 

 Wade will typically shout, extremely loudly, that he is leaving. Unless he has a stupid mission in mind then he will be deadly quiet. 

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home

 Wade will definitely high five Harley because when he comes home, he is often covered in blood and other questionable substances and doesn’t want to get them on her. He will invite her for a shower though. 

 Harley will once again just bounce on Wade, and Wade will catch her in his arms. What follows is a deep play by play of the day. 

who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often

 Wade. He gets a lot of money from his job that he blows on stupid stuff. But he considers any gift to Harley not stupid. He’ll straight up waltz into a flower shop in full deadpool gear with his gun still smoking asking about what flowers are in season and what will go best with what. 

who picks the movie for movie night

 Harley, because Wade wants to let Harley make more decisions in her life rather than just being forced into things. Plus, he tends to like her taste in movies so it’s no issue really. 

their favorite kind of movie to watch

 Harley likes cheesy romance movies, I’ve seen her romance book collection in various sources. Wade likes them because he’s mocking the actors in his head and sometimes out loud. 

 Wade likes big blockbuster action movies because he likes the explosions, although he will get bitchy if someone is killed in an inaccurate way. “That’s not how a stabbed man turned into a kebab while on fire sounds like. Believe me, I know. It’s happened to me and I’ve done it before.” 

who first suggests a pillow fort

 Harley, and Wade likes the idea. He is never the one to suggest it though, simply because it never enters his mind. 

who builds the pillow fort

 Wade will, if they are building the pillow fort he will most CERTAINLY make sure it is the biggest, most badass thing ever. 

who tries to distract the other during the move

 Wade, he’s annoying < 3. 

who falls asleep first

 Harley, due to Wade’s frequent insomnia and his method of “just chugging a bunch of sleep meds and alcohol and hoping for the best” doesn’t work if he has Harley in his arms and he can’t move. 

who is big spoon/little spoon

 Wade is the big spoon, and Harley is the smaller. It makes Wade feel like he’s protecting her, and he likes something to hold onto. Meanwhile Harley most likely enjoys being held. 

[cheegu3]

~ Yandere Hyunjin - X31 [CULT SPECIAL 2/2 PTS]

tw / trigger warning: yandere themes, cult themes (brainwashing etc), violence, blood/gore, murder, disturbing themes, swearing

wc: 3k

a/n: so I’m a bit tipsy and wrote this just like really quickly idek what’s going on or if this is shit lmao sorry, I will proofread this tomorrow mwah love u

summary: the gang from your hometown that you knew as criminals had now kidnapped you and as they take you to their destination you soon find out they’re actually a cult, will you be able to escape or will you become their pet forever?

‘‘ You’re..them ‘‘ you muttered at last somehow sounding disbelieved.

‘‘ You must’ve known right? At least a part of you knew all along ‘‘ he answered with a smirk.

‘‘ You must’ve known right? At least a part of you knew all along ‘‘ he answered with a smirk.

You huffed.

‘‘ If I knew, don’t you think I would’ve fought back harder than I did? ‘‘ you looked at him coldly.

‘‘ Well actually- ‘‘ he leaned in closer to you, so close that you could see your own reflection in his crazy, empty brown eyes.

‘‘ I think you wanted this ‘‘ he adds.

‘‘ W-what are you fucking crazy? ‘‘ you exclaimed hysterically, the panic was overtaking your body every second that passed.

He nodded and the smirk was back again as if he enjoyed seeing you like this. You bet he had seen way worse captures of his, who suffered a lot more.

‘‘ You want to know why? ‘‘ he asked tauntingly.

He didn’t even give you a chance to answer before he went on.

‘‘ You’re a lonely pathetic woman in her 20s. You have no job, no money, no boyfriend or husband and no family ‘‘ he said this in such a mocking manner that it took you aback. You felt like your whole body went cold, like you were an insect under his magnifying glass and after he had inspected you he crushed you.

This was all too much for you. You tried the best that you could to turn away from him, sort of looking out the window - only, all the windows were covered up and you assumed it was to make you feel disoriented and not see where you were. It was smart, you’d admit that. On top of that the leader had kept you occupied so you didn’t even get the chance to feel what ways the car was turning to somehow name your location.

He didn’t say anything more for the rest of the ride except for a low,

‘‘ I’m Hyunjin. The leader ‘‘

Then he left you alone, you weren’t sure if he was watching you but it sure felt like his eyes never left you, even when you were turned so that you couldn’t see him in the corner of your eye, the feeling of his gaze lingered.

Not long after, the van came to an abrupt stop throwing you forwards slightly. The doors were slid open revealing the familiar guys from before. Only three of them were in the doorway now though, one shorter one with freckles, the other shorter one with a mean and stern looking face and one that looked like a golden retriever. As you looked at them you wondered how they had ended up here in this gang. They were once normal people just like yourself, what happened to them? Perhaps...they were kidnapped like yourself and they would try to make you one of them?

‘‘ Get out ‘‘ the mean looking one barked at you and then said to Hyunjin ‘‘ We’re here master. Everything is ready ‘‘

The leader reached over again to unbuckle your seatbelt but he wasn’t really looking at you this time, he seemed to be in a hurry. In fact he seemed to be so stressed when you had stepped out that he swept you off your feet. You yelped in surprise but he wasted no time, walking straight away towards the buildings doors. 

It looked like it was some kind of abandoned church. It was worn down and dark, covered in graffiti and had several white sheets covering up the window. You shivered at the creepy vibe it gave off, it looked like the perfect place for a gang.

As your group approached the entry doors, two of the guys from before hurried up in front to hold the doors open for Hyunjin and you. You felt him walk again and you tried to turn from your place in his arms to look around. You gasped.

People in masks and dark cloaks stood in a circle around some kind of table. The walls were dirty and worn out just like the outside and the familiar church seats didn’t look very familiar anymore, they were filled with clutter like books and candles. More candles decorated the walls and it had weird drawn symbols in white and red, which looked too much like blood.

You desperately tried to crawl out but his arms clinging onto you only got harder, tightening the grip. You were coming closer and closer to the group who had now turned when they noticed your presence. The group split in the middle, making way for you to pass through. You heart dropped when you had passed by the people.

Right there was an altar. It had old dry blood ingrained in it all over. By how the dried blood looked like it had run down the sides, you thought about how much blood there had to have been there, they probably killed someone and the thought of it makes you sick.

He sat you down unexpectedly gentle and stepped back slightly while looking at you. You felt like there wasn’t a chance in hell to escape with the mob getting ever so closer as the seconds passed, soon they’d be suffocating you although it felt like their mere presence was already doing that.

‘‘ W-what, where am I...Hyunjin ‘‘ you said his name slowly as if trying it out.

His expressions didn’t change, he looked cold like he had done that same night you met him.

‘‘ Y/n, I’ve had my eyes on you for a long time. Planning, waiting for the perfect moment to take you away ‘‘ he explained calmly. 

You didn’t say anything but when he said he’d been watching you for a long time you felt chills down your spine again. You didn’t feel safe here and you didn’t know what they wanted.

‘‘ Master decided to save you ‘‘ one of the mob whispered in an almost hysteric voice. 

They looked really riled up or quite frankly, crazy - from the way they got closer and closer and how they looked at their leader with so much admiration, like he was some sort of God.

‘‘ Save me? ‘‘ you asked looking straight at Hyunjin to try to read his face.

You thought that maybe they were just joking but he still didn’t move a muscle. He took a deep breath before speaking again.

‘‘ You see, all the people out there they’re really bad people. They have turned to the false God and I’m the only one who can save you ‘‘ he answered fairly casually studying your face and reaction to what he had said.

‘‘ Uh, false God? ‘‘

‘‘ Jesus and his father ‘‘

You huffed. It still felt like a joke but the people surrounding you made you doubt it. Either they were really good actors or this crazy man had taken advantage of vulnerable people and brainwashed them into worshipping him.

‘‘ He’s evil and tries to mask his evil words with acts of ‘‘ kindness ‘‘ ‘’ he air-quoted the word kindness and looked truly annoyed as he explained this to you.

You weren’t really sure how to respond.

‘‘ I...Appreciate that and what you do but I would like to go home now, is that okay? ‘‘ you tried.

‘‘ No ‘‘

Silence followed. You felt like the mob were silently judging you and maybe even hated you because you got all this attention from their precious leader.

‘‘ U-um well I do have to go, I’m not interested sorry ‘‘ you swung your legs over the stone seat and put your feet on the ground below.

He didn’t move from his spot which made you hopeful, but then when you approached the mob expecting them to step aside for you to pass - they didn’t. They stood just as still, just like him. You saw him turn to you and then felt a hard grip around your forearm.

He was angry but you also saw some hint of disgust in his eyes.

‘‘ See everyone how grateful you are that I saved you, see what could’ve become of you. We’ve got a lot of work to do with this one ‘‘ he said to the mob while staring into your eyes. He smirked for a moment and that’s when you realised, this was a cult.

He was fully aware of the truth vs made up things and how he affected all these people but you supposed he liked the power. It made you sick yet again to think about how many lives he had ruined by spewing such nonsense.

His loyal followers all shouted in union,

‘‘ Yes master! ‘‘ 

Before Hyunjin started to drag you to a doorway at the opposite side of the room. It felt like his grip was getting tighter and tighter and you groaned quietly at the pain, it was sure to leave bruises but you knew he didn’t care - he had probably left a fair amount of bruises on his followers before. 

He took you through the doorway and turned to the right. You reached a long stone corridor that felt very creepy. He kept dragging you until he had gotten to the room at the end of the corridor. There, he still kept his iron grip on you while fumbling in his pockets to take out a silver key.

‘‘ This is where you will be staying ‘‘

Anger bubbled up inside you. Who is he to decide that he was gonna ‘’ save you ‘’ to kidnap you and to order you around without you having a choice? It made you feel so belittled, and because of it you hated him already and what made it worse is the fact that you were pretty sure he enjoyed it.

He shoved you in and closed the door behind him swiftly without turning his back to you, smart, he didn’t even give you one opportunity to escape him.

‘‘ Tomorrow will be your first ritual, you should be excited ‘‘ he gave you a small smile. 

You wanted to punch him so bad, to kick and scream and to run for your life. The room he had pushed you into was as cold-stoned as the corridor had been, literally. It looked like an old-school prison cell in those castles with stone floor, walls and ceiling. The windows were barred shut and was way too high up for you to reach anyway. 

The only thing that made it look anything other than a prison cell was the double bed in the middle of the furthest wall. It had scarlet velvet looking covers and looked quite comfortable. In that moment you wanted nothing more than for him to leave so you could let your growing exhaustion take over you and figure out a plan to escape later after resting.

And so he actually did - to your surprise. You suppose it was because of the look of burning hate you had given him this whole time or that you had refused to answer him but whatever the reason, you felt relieved.

He sighed and left, closing the door rather harshly after him but you didn’t even look at him, he didn’t deserve that.

Your head found the pillow automatically and you let your body relax, falling asleep not that long after.

-

‘‘ Hello? Y/n get the fuck up ‘‘ the distant voice who had been mumbling, or least that’s what it sounded like to you - suddenly started to get louder and clearer.

You body jerked awake when you realised it wasn’t a dream and the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was those brown eyes of the leader himself. He looked annoyed, like you were just a burden to him and the fact that you’d woken up so late was just another inconvenience.

He rolled his eyes.

‘‘ Finally. We haven’t got all day Ms princess ‘‘ 

You yawned at looked at him still half-asleep. You got up without protesting though because you didn’t want to anger him any more. 

You wasted no time and even got dressed in front of him, ignoring his presence while continuing to be in a dazed and tired state. 

He seemed to wait as patiently as he could but that didn’t stop him from sending you glares every now and then. 

At last you were ready, dressed in a white plain summery dress that had been put out for you to wear. You noticed while walking up to him that he was now wearing very light coloured clothes as well - a strong contrast to the day before. He didn’t have his piercings on, his tattoos were covered and he wore long white linen clothes. You gagged at the thought of him picking out clothes just so you would match.

‘‘ Come on ‘‘ he mumbled. His patience seemed to be running out.

He opened the door and basically pushed you out in front of him, then he closed the door once again and followed quickly. It felt like he was breathing down your neck, not giving you any space to - you assumed - not make you get away. You ignored him being that close and focused on his directions instead. He told you to go back the same way you had come from and out of the church, into a garden where the ‘’ ceremony ‘’ as he called it would happen.

You stayed silent and walked to where he wanted you to. The church was empty, which was a bit odd but you kept going until you laid your hands on the  big doors again and pushed it open.

You recognised the place you had been at yesterday, even the car was still there. But you couldn’t do anything, not even get close to the car before Hyunjin barked his orders,

‘‘ Right. Then walk straight to the garden. No stopping ‘‘ and you reacted like a robot, casting one last sorrowful look at a possible escape route. 

You followed his directions and walked into a clearing in the forest the church had been hiding behind itself. The mob was there again.

Of course

You thought yourself and couldn’t stop your hand from forming a fist. More people, less chance of escaping. But where else would they be if not by the side of their precious leader?

They gave you very genuinely happy smiles which freaked you out and you smiled back awkwardly to not feel like you were being rude. As you approached the group Hyunjin put his fingertips to your upper back guiding you forwards, or rather to the middle of the circle again who parted once you got close, allowing you to pass through.

Then you spotted it, another altar. 

But this time you weren’t really scared, until Hyunjin told you lay down on it and his words from before rang in your head over and over again,

‘‘ Tomorrow will be your first ritual, you should be excited ‘‘

Fuck

What was going to happen to you now?

‘‘ Welcome everyone ‘’ he started off his speech, turning to the gathered crowd.

‘’ We’ve gathered here today to make a union, to forever bond the master, the greatest, to y/n, the princess ‘‘

Your head was spinning. It felt like the coldness of the stone you were laying on had transferred to your blood, making it ice cold. You weren’t even sure if you were alive anymore or if this was possibly just a dream.

‘‘ Y/n? ‘‘ he suddenly called out which caught your attention.

You turned your head to him, tears threatening to fall any second now.

‘‘ I have to do this, for us to be together forever ‘‘ he said this in an almost pitiful way and your gut knew what was coming but you didn’t want to believe it.

You were going to fight and be optimistic until the last second.

‘‘ You first, then me okay? If you keep still this will be quicker ‘‘ the fact that he looked truly sorry made you forget for a moment what kind of person he was.

He walked up to you and you got so enhanced in his eyes, it was easy to see how all the other people had believed his lies. You were even ready to accept your faith, and so you did the only thing you could - you closed your eyes and waited.

You weren’t sure but you think you heard him say ‘’ good girl ‘’ under his breath. You also heard some distant hushed talking and some items being scraped together but you held you breath and kept your eyes closed, it was for the best.

No closed eyes or deep breaths could’ve prepared you for what came next though,

the pain was unbearable. A cold metal that was sharp penetrated your chest causing you to scream out.

‘‘ Stop! Stop! Stop! ‘‘

Hyunjin hushed you comfortingly and stroke your hair slowly, placing small kisses to your forehead but you barely felt them - the pain was so overpowering it felt like it was the only thing you felt.

Eventually when your breaths started becoming more heavy and your vision started to get blurrier, you opened your eyes one last time. You saw the man you had started to hate in such a short time, now...he was your killer. 

Then you closed your eyes again and waited and waited while it felt like the liquid had decorated your entire body, hell maybe even the whole forest. 

At last, after much suffering

the world did become black and you were finally at peace.

[wendip-week]

Prompt: Time-Travel

Prompt – Time Travel

It was another fine day in Gravity Falls. Squirrels were chasing each other, baby birds were chirping for food, and the local citizens went about their business, blissfully unaware of the rumored-weirdness that surrounded the valley.

In the town’s tourist-trap, the Mystery Shack, two young workers were sitting behind the register, looking bored. One was a short, scrawny pre-teen with shaggy, brown hair covered by a cap featuring a pine-tree. The other was a tall, lanky redheaded girl in flannel and sporting a trapper-hat. They were the best of friends (or partners-in-crime, depending on who you ask); and at that moment, they’d rather have been anywhere else.

“Ugh! Dipper! Why’s your uncle making us sit here? This place is half-dead! We’ve had, what? Sixteen customers all day, and maybe three of them wanted to buy something?” the girl said, laying across the counter.

“Yeah. Well, it’s Stan, Wendy. ‘Any potential sucker is basically a customer, and customers have money, so don’t miss an opportunity to get some!’”

“Nice one. But seriously, dude, I wish we could go on some adventure. Heck, I’ll take anything: scary or cheesy,” the girl said confidently.

“Really?” Dipper replied, looking at her. “You’d stoop to something out of our B-movie collection?”

Wendy paused, clearly giving this some thought. “Well…”

“The Crawling Deer-Demon-Duck is hiding in that condemned-house, Cassandara!” Dipper said in a low-baritone, his face pouting with mock-bravery. “What kind of brave seventeen-year-old slight bad-boy would I be if I didn’t go in there alone to try and stop it?”

Accepting his challenge, Wendy stood up. “Oh, Drewson! You can’t! It’s too dangerous!” she replied, adopting a terrible accent of a Southern-belle. She put the back-end of her hand on her forehead dramatically, while using her other to grab his sleeve. “I won’t let you go into that condemned house where the Deer-Demon-Duck is hiding!”

Dipper gently moved her hand away and faced her more directly. “But you have to let me!”

“Oh, Drewson!!!” Wendy lamented, now looking Dipper in the eyes.

“Cassandara…” Dipper did the same…

The two’s faces came closer and closer…

  Meanwhile, from two different ends of the Shack, a couple of thirteen-year-olds watched with interest. One, a fit-looking, freckle-faced girl with brown hair, stared with wide-eyes; she had her hands over her mouth as she barely suppressed a squeal. It was just too cute and hilarious! The other was a bulky young-man with copper hair. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head, chuckling.

  Wendy and Dipper’s faces were now inches from one another; neither breaking the act. Just as it seemed they were about make contact…

*FLASH!*

“Bwaaaahhh!!!” cried out a voice of pure-chaos.

…A white flash of light and a subsequent familiar-sounding snap caught them off-guard (and momentarily blinded the duo).

“Hey!” Dipper shouted.

“What the heck?!” Wendy replied, blinking to get her sight back.

“You guys! That was adorable!” Mabel, Dipper’s twin who sported braces, a homemade sweater, and thick, long brown cried out.

“Mabel?” said Wendy. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to hear all that!” the energetic girl told her friend while holding a photo-camera.

“W-We were imitating a scene from one of our movies!” Dipper replied quickly, his face suddenly a deep-red.

“Tomato-Potato! A smooch-scene’s a smooch-scene! Look!” Mabel told them, holding up an instant-photo. Looking closer, it featured Dipper and Wendy, inches apart and puckered up. “And I thought your only chest-hair was scrapbook-material, Dip!”

“Mabel, you better throw that away!” Dipper told his sister, while Wendy just shook her head, a hand covering her eyes.

“Nope! Scrapbook-ortunity!” Mabel opened her scrapbook and, finding a spot that was (relatively) empty, put the photo in. “Boom! Now, I just need some glue! Be right back!”

Mabel ran into the house to look around, leaving her brother and friend alone and little embarrassed.

Dipper looked at his redheaded crush. “Sorry, Wendy. She didn’t need to do that.”

“It’s whatever, dork. I mean, we were kind of cutting it close. That’s what happens when you play chicken.”

“Yeah… I’m gonna destroy it before she gets back,” Dipper said, reaching out for the scrapbook.

“No, don’t!” Wendy replied, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“Wendy, you know she’ll show people. What’ll our friends think? I don’t want you to get embarrassed,” the younger Mystery-Twin said to the redhead.

“Thanks, but if everyone starts laughing, we can just say we’re great actors. After all, I’d pick you over the lead in that cheesy-film any day,” Wendy reassured Dipper, a gentle smile on her face.

Not knowing what to say, the blushing twelve-year-old just awkwardly chuckled.

“Hey!” shouted a gravelly-voice from inside the house. “Can somebody help me with this pimple on my back! I don’t need it bothering me on my next tour!”

Wendy turned to look at her dork, looking a little nonplussed. “…We should probably run before Stan singles us out.”

“To the roof, you think?” Dipper asked.

“Nah, I’m starved. Let’s hit Greasy’s. There’s a great lunch-special if we hurry.”

The nigh-inseparable duo quietly rushed off, leaving the gift-shop completely unattended. With that, the two customers slowly approached the counter, awkwardly looking around.

“Well, that was adorable and weird,” the girl told the boy around her age.

The large boy shrugged. “Definitely right on the latter.” He turned to face the girl. “How has your day been progressing?”

“Uh, fine I guess?” she replied, not used to hearing a greeting in such context. “How about yours?”

“Can’t complain. So… the gift-shop’s abandoned, it looks like,” the boy said, looking around.

“I guess so. Someone could steal something from here and no one would notice.”

“True. Looks like the rumors of this place sparing every expense were true,” the boy said with a chuckle. “Are you planning on stealing something?”

“No! Of course not!” the girl replied with a huff. As the boy looked away, she discreetly took a glance at the scrapbook left behind.

“Well, that’s good. Lots of punk-teens wouldn’t think twice about robbing this place blind,” he told her.

“Fair point,” The girl replied. She reached a small hand out. “I’m May, by the way.”

The other teen answered by clasping it with a meaty-looking hand of his own. “Cool. That’s my sister’s name. I’m Danny.”

For a second, the girl called May’s eyes widened, before narrowing suspiciously. Danny suddenly realized she wasn’t letting go of his hand.

“No, it isn’t,” she replied curtly. “My brother’s Danny!”

As she said that, the other teen frowned before his eyes mirrored the girl. They stared momentarily before pouncing. May attempted to pull “Danny” toward her. Danny, however, was ready. He spun and pulled the hand still clasping his behind the girl’s back. With her momentarily caught off-guard, he pushed her into one of the aisles. He quickly snatched the scrapbook from the counter before racing out the door. May, after stopping herself from hitting a wall, turned to see no scrapbook near the register. She immediately rushed outside to find the boy.

Behind the Mystery Shack, Danny was going rummaging the somewhat sticky-pages of the book he snatched, careful not let anything besides some glitter fall out from between. Finally, his eyes settled on his objective. He was just about to take it when-

“Hey, you!” Danny turned towards an angry-looking May, her fist punching her other palm. “That’s stealing! I don’t know who you are, but I’m not letting you have that!” she shouted.

“Please!” he replied. “As if you weren’t planning on it. I’m smarter than I look, you know!” he accused the girl, who gritted her teeth at his comeback. “And for your information, I’m me! And you’re not you!”

With that, the two of them raced towards each other. This time, however, May slid between the large boy’s legs and got behind him. Before he could react, she grabbed him underneath his shoulders. With him successfully in a headlock, May reached for the book in the redheaded boy’s hand. Realizing what she was trying to do, Danny swung back-and-forth, trying to make May let go of him.

Caught off-guard, the strong girl actually lost her grip on one of his arms for a minute, though she quickly regained it by getting her arm around his neck. However, this wasn’t enough. He reached behind, and this time, he got ahold of May’s shirt, enabling him to throw her off, despite her attempts to hold onto his head. (She even grabbed and stretched his mouth in the process).

She landed with a thud but was quick to get back on her feet. And May was immediately shocked by the sight before her. Next to this guy’s feet was the scrapbook of Mabel, apparently dropped when she made him throw her off. But on the other side of “Danny” laid what looked like a rubber-mask of his face. The head on his body now sported something else: a head that she could only describe as resembling an oversized pistachio, but with red-eyes and sharp teeth.

The creature posing as a human, realizing he was exposed, quickly grabbed his mask and slipped it back on with a growl. Now indiscernible from a human, he wagged what May assumed was a false finger, clearly ticked by that. He charged at her, only for her to roll out of the way. She tried a roundhouse-kick, only for the disguised teen to catch her foot. When May tried to break out, she lost her balance, enabling Danny to catch her from behind the same way she had him.

However, May was ready this time. As this guy grabbed her underneath her shoulders, May somersaulted backwards and caught Danny’s neck with her shoes. With all of her might, she used her legs to throw Danny forward, headfirst! He landed with a loud thud, giving May time to grab the book and escape.

Danny, checking to make sure his mask was straight, raced to catch up to May. He went around the side and rushing in the general direction she ran, saw her carefully moving around a large hole not too far from the Mystery Shack. Taking off a hand-shaped glove, he launched a vine-like appendage and grabbed May’s leg, tripping her and pulling her back. At the same time, she dropped the book near the edge of the long drop. Danny rushed forward and picked it up.

Of course, by this time, May was back on her feet. She charged with all he had and slammed her shoulder into the creature’s costumed-midsection, making him drop the book again. “OW!” They both shouted after May made contact.

Danny rubbed the spot where he got rammed with one hand and pushed her back with his other. He then looked at the pained girl strangely. “That was… You tackle just like May does; only weaker. Who are-? Hey, you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” May was clutching her shoulder, and as the boy could see more plainly, it didn’t look quite right.

“You’re hurt.” Before Danny could say more, the edge of the hole he was standing by gave way. He fell and, because he was still holding onto May, ended up pulling her in, too.

They both fell, screaming all the way down, only realize that they didn’t seem to be getting there anytime soon.

“Wait… I know what this is! We’re in the Bottomless Pit!” May said in realization.

“Oh, yeah! Haven’t seen the inside of this I was five…” Danny thought out loud.

“So you say!” May snapped. “Stop pretending already and tell me what the heck you are! Running into you is like crashing into a tree-trunk! What the heck?!”

Danny paused. “Okay, seeing as you look like you’re hurting, and I’m not, I’m going to call a truce. I’m willing to talk if you are, but I’d rather check your arm first. Is that cool with you?”

“Fine,” May grumbled, seeing no options at the moment. She was at a disadvantage, and if this monster could reach her, she’d be in trouble.

“Alright. Now, stay calm and try not to freak out.” Danny took a hand-shaped glove off and from where it was, slowly extended a vine in May’s direction. It gently went around the teenager’s midriff and pulled her towards him. It was plain to see she was suspicious. “Let me see…” Using his other hand, he poked May’s shoulder.

“Augh!” she grunted.

“Yeah… Looks like you dislocated your shoulder,” Danny assessed with a shudder. “You meatbags and your weird bodies.”

“MEATBAGS?! Look who’s talking!”

“Hey, it is basically what you are. You’re like, mostly water, aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah…” May admitted awkwardly. “But that’s still rude.”

“Right. Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly. “Look, we can’t do anything until we come back up, so we might well as chat and find what the heck is going on here; maybe why you want that scrapbook so much.”

“You took it first,” May replied. “What about you? Also, would you mind letting go of me?”

“Can do.” Danny retracted his vine, allowing May to freefall on her own, then slipped his glove back on over his branch-like hand.

“Okay, so… who the heck are you? I’ve lived in Gravity Falls all of my life; I know that names being alike isn’t some coincidence.” May said.

“Agreed. I’m Danny Pines,” said the strange-teen. “And I’m assuming you’re May Pines.”

“Yeah. May Pines: daughter of Mason and Wendy Pines,” May stated proudly.

“Those are my parents’ names,” Danny replied, an eyebrow raised.

“Weird. My brother’s human, and he doesn’t look much like whatever that costume is you’re wearing. Are you being honest that you’re who you say you are?”

“Yes, I am,” Danny replied, starting to sound annoyed. “Look, I’m a plant-person, okay? So is most of the family, along with the half-the-town where I’m from. We wear disguises to blend in with humans… And what’s wrong with the way I look?”

“Well, for starters, my Danny’s not built like you. He’s muscular, but like the lean-kind. And he’s tall. You kind of have a build like my uncles on Mom’s side of the family. Plus, your face kind of looks like Aunt Mabel’s. He’s got more of one that looks kind of like Grandpa Dan,” May said thoughtfully.

“Huh. Go figure. I never actually wondered if my disguise was accurate… As for my height, I can safely tell you I’m taller than I look. I basically slouch in this costume,” Danny told her. “And my May’s costume doesn’t have you so good, either.”

“Really? Why?” May asked.

“Well, her mask has red-hair and no freckles. And your nose definitely isn’t Mom’s.”

“Oh. I always wondered how I’d look with red hair…” May thought out loud. “Uh, so… why the heck were you trying to take that book?”

“Why do you need it?”

May sighed in resignation. “Look, I’m looking for an anniversary-present for Mom and Dad. I remember Aunt Mabel told me about some cute picture in her scrapbook that went missing. It was that little scene with Mom and Dad from a little earlier. Apparently, it disappeared. It’d be a good gift, and I thought maybe it was me taking it after Blendin Blandin loaned me his Time-Tape that caused it disappear. Now, I’m wondering if it vanishes because you steal it.”

“What a coincidence. I was planning on getting that as an anniversary present for them, too. Well, my version of Mom and Dad.”

“Yeah… How’s that work again? I’m already assuming this is probably one of those Other-Dimension/Universe deals. Or maybe even another timeline,” asked May

“Really? How would that last one work? New timelines always replace old ones, right?” Danny replied.

“I don’t know. I don’t do this for a liv-Oh! We’re coming back up!”

About a minute later, the two thirteen-year-olds found themselves back outside the Bottomless Pit, not a minute gone by since they fell in. Immediately, they stepped away, quick to attend to more important matters. Well, besides the picture in Mabel’s scrapbook, anyway. (Danny quickly picked that up).

“Alright,” Danny said after making sure no one was around. “I’m not an expert, but I’ve been taught the basics of human-skeletons. We’ve gotta fix that arm.”

“Right. Uh, one sec.” May used her good arm to pull a coin-purse out of her pocket. From there, she pulled out a piece of wood with some bite-marks and stuck it in her mouth. “Do your worst.”

Danny put one hand on her forearm; the other on her shoulder. “This is gonna hurt. I’m going to count to five. Got it?” May nodded, and Danny counted. “One… Two… Five.”

A shrill, girly scream echoed through the valley. A scream rivaled only by those who were unfortunate enough to stick an appendage into the infamous “Pain Hole”.

“You okay?” Danny asked, concerned.

“Yeah,” May grunted, rolling her shoulder a couple of times. “This actually happens more often than you think. I’ll be fine in a couple of days.

“Well, I guess that’s one thing you humans have over us,” the boy said, shaking his head. “Your broken limbs don’t have to stay broken. We need to regrow ours. It’s pretty rough.”

“I guess… So, is your time like that lizard-people timeline or something? Dad and Aunt Mabel said something like that happened or was talked about when they were hunting for treasure one time.”

“I don’t remember either of them talking about that,” Danny said, shrugging. “All I know is that my version of Mom and Dad were turned into plants outside of Gravity Falls, and that there was time-travel involved. Come to think of it, I wonder if maybe Time-Wishes have something to do with this.”

May raised an eyebrow. “I don’t follow.”

“They’re paradox-free, but what if they don’t line up with the future. And they can’t be part of a time-loop, either. That’s another paradox. But splitting timelines might make for a good technicality, especially if they lead to the same futures or something.”

“…You read a lot of science-fiction, don’t you?” May deadpanned.

Danny shrugged. “When I’m camping. Yeah.”

“So… you think maybe we come from different branches and that this is a shared-moment in the past?”

“In a nutshell. No pun intended.”

May shrugged. “Anything’s possible. So, how are things in your timeline? Is the Shack still standing?”

“Yeah. Uncle Soos is doing a great job with it.”

“Nice! Does Arctica exist in in that time? Do you like-like her?” May asked in a sly voice.

“N-No! I mean, uh, yes… and no!” Danny replied quickly.

“Oh my gosh! I knew it!” May said, almost squealing. “Everyone knows! Me, our parents, our friends! Aunt Pacifica sure approves! So does-!”

“Wait! Pacifica… She’s alive in your time?” Danny asked, looking a bit shocked.

“Yeah. Is she not…? Oh, man! What happened?” May replied, looking very concerned.

“She just got sick. Last year, I think. That kind of thing’s one drawback to being human, I guess. Still, everyone was there, so I think she was comfortable, at least,” Danny told his sister from what might be an alternate-timeline.

“Shoot…” May thought out loud.

“Sorry to bring the mood down. So, does Chaz still try to keep his distance from you and your cooties?”

“As if! He’s just intimidated by my tackle!”

“Sure… No doubt that’s why he and Drake Jr. tried to discover a vaccine for them,” Danny said with a chuckle. “Dad thinks they might be onto rediscovering the Philosopher’s Stone instead.”

“So, Aunt Mabel married Uncle Drake in your timeline, too?”

“Yep.”

“Great… Two versions of our uncle to pass on his terrible driving skills two different versions of our cousin,” May said in exasperation.

“Don’t forget our siblings…” Danny added.

“Siblings? What siblings?” May asked.

“…You’re kidding, right?”

“No. Seriously, we have them? What are they like?” May said with interest. “Younger? Older?”

“All of the above. Dang. I wish I had my special phone-glove so I could show you pics. Too bad I didn’t want to accidentally leave it.”

“Shoot! Lucky!”

Danny laughed. “Keep telling yourself that.”

May smiled, then looked at her aunt’s scrapbook. “That photo’s still in there.”

Danny rummaged through it and found the page with said photo. The siblings from different timelines both stared, admiring the young versions of their parents doing that corny, mock-romance scene.

“What do you wanna do?” Danny asked her.

“I don’t know… I want it, but you’ve got as much right to snatch it as I do,” May replied. “I wish we both could take it with us.”

“You know, maybe we can,” Danny said after a minute.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t the Shack have a magic photocopy-machine in this time?”

“…And Mom and Dad are gone, so we might be able to pull this off!”

//

Meanwhile, Mabel was in her and Dipper’s room in the attic, which had basically been torn apart in a futile-search.

“Come on, Mabel!” The sweater-loving preteen said to herself. “Where’d you put that extra glue?”

//

The Mystery Twins of different timelines slipped through the currently-unguarded gift-shop of the Mystery Shack with ease, only to run into an elderly, bespectacled man in a fez, faded-white tee-shirt, and boxers in the living room, who was sitting on the couch, watching tv. The man turned to face them.

“Hey!” he said gruffly. “No exploring the house unless I’m leading a tour! Back to the gift-shop with you.”

Danny approached him, a hand behind his back. “No. Back to sleep with you.” Danny brought his concealed hand out from behind him, a large flower blooming from his wooden hand. He blew what looked like pollen into the old man’s face. The man was out in an instant, drooling all over himself.

May took the tv remote and flipped through a couple of channels. When she was satisfied, she abandoned the remote and joined Danny, though not before laying a soft kiss on the scary-looking man’s temple.

“Love you, Great-Grunkle Stan,” May whispered. She turned back to rubber-suited variation of her brother. “Let’s go.”

The two kids wandered down the hall towards the back, where they found a beaten, worn-out copy machine with words like “Danger” and other warnings on and around it.

“So… if I remember correctly, Dad said this’ll clone whatever you put into it,” May said. “It’s how Great Grunkle Stan made copies of the Journals that triangle-dude ruined.”

“Right,” Danny replied. “Seems straightforward. I think I’ll make two. This way, we don’t have to steal anything.”

“Sounds good. Let’s just remember not to get either wet.” May stepped out to check the living room.

//

Meanwhile, a heavy-set young man in a cap and a shirt with a big question-mark stepped into the living-room. “Hey, Mr. Pines. I just finished fixing-Oh, cool! You’ve got anime on!”

Soos Ramirez sat down on the couch, his gaze focused entirely on the tv-screen. He didn’t notice the teenage-girl peering around the corner, nor the bright and completely-noticeable flash from down the hall. He also didn’t notice two teens step back into the gift-shop, the boy holding three identical-copies of what looked like Mabel’s scrapbook.

//

In the Mystery Shack’s gift shop, May sat the scrapbook back down on the counter where she and Danny found it.

“Alright! Are we good to go?” May asked Danny.

“I think so. I made whole scrapbooks that we can maybe use for Aunt Mabel sometime. I bet she’d like to see her old pet-project again,” Danny replied.

“Great idea. You know, if it’s not us that steal the photo, I wonder what happens to this one.”

“Beats me. But no time to find out. Someone’s bound to come back any time now.” Danny said, handing one of the copies to May.

“You’re right… Hey, I’m sorry I kind of jumped you when we ran into each other. I thought maybe I violated some time-bureau thing and you were an agent or something,” May replied with sincerity as the two of them walked out of the entrance.

“That’s alright. No harm done. I’m sorry you hurt yourself trying to hurt me,” Danny replied to the girl.

“It’s fine,” May told her… sibling. “You know, it would be cool if we could hang, but with whatever this is, I don’t see how that’s possible any time soon.”

“You’re right,” Danny agreed, almost regretfully. “I don’t know how time-travel works, and I don’t Blendin’s inclined to tell someone who got the drop on him.”

“Huh?!”

“Nothing!”

The two stared at each other, not knowing what else to say. Finally, May broke the ice: “Awkward sibling-hug?”

The Mystery Twins embraced, awkwardly patting each other’s backs before separating.

“So, before we go our separate ways, can I ask you a weird question?” Danny asked sheepishly.

“Sure. What is it?” May responded.

“What’s like having a nose? A real one, I mean…”

//

Meanwhile, Mabel Pines had just come back downstairs. “I can’t believe I forgot I have one in my sweater’s inner pocket. What a silly-Mabel I am!” she said to herself, chuckling.

She stood by her scrapbook on the counter and tried to work the cap to the new glue-bottle off.

At the same time, a customer, who had come into the empty gift-shop just before the girl came down, went to approach Mabel and ask about getting rung up. Unfortunately, there was a snowglobe left on the floor by some child earlier that day. The man suddenly tripped on it and fell forward, only to stop himself by catching a fan. Said fan immediately started blowing on high, blasting Mabel’s hair all over her face and blowing a certain photograph into the yard, where an odd-looking goat caught in his mouth and ate it.

That was a dark day for Mabel Pines… who immediately planned to try to convince Dipper and Wendy to reenact that scene again.

//

The Pines twins from alternate futures faced each other, holding out their respective Time-Tapes (with the tape pulled out appropriately) and holding tightly onto their respective scrapbooks. The two got one last look at each other.

“Bye, Danny,” May said to her secret monster of a brother. “I love you, and I hope Mom and Dad like your gift.”

“Likewise, May,” Danny said, looking a bit sad. I wish you could see the others… I’d have liked to see their reactions meeting you.”

May gave him a soft smile. “Hey, I got to meet you, at least.” Danny smiled in response.

The Mystery Twins let the tape on their devices retract. There was a flash of light, and it was like they had never been there.

[hacked-by-jake]

Just a normal movie night.. actually

Jake and you went for a walk by a lake near your apartment. He sat in front of the computer all day and you thought it would be good for him to go outside for a moment. You were almost back at your apartment but you thought about turning around again because it was a really nice moment.

"Oh (your name) we have to get home very quickly!" Jake suddenly calls and puts his phone back in his pocket.

"What? why?" you immediately notice how fear comes up in you. Jake had managed to get his pursuers on the wrong track looking for him, but you were still afraid they’d find him.

"There’s a movie on the TV that we have to watch!" he shouts excitedly and claps his hands.

However, he forgets at the moment that you two hold hands and so strikes his hand on yours.

"Ouch, Man Jake, I thought something bad happened" you mumble.

"Oh, I’m sorry, babe...? So what do you say?" he asks and looks at you with big eyes.

"Yeah, okay, what movie is it?"

You already have a premonition of what movie he’s talking about.

"V for Vendetta" he laughs. His eyes shine happily. How can you deny him a wish when he looks like that?

"I just saw the TV program and it starts in seven minutes. Please let us watch the movie” excited he pulls you the last meters to your apartment.

"Again?" you ask grinning and walk up the stairs behind him.

You’d never walked up those stairs so fast. Even though you’re more stumbling than running because Jake was in a hell of a hurry to get into the apartment.

Jake immediately drops on the sofa in the living room and turns on the TV.

You’re going to the kitchen to get something to drink.

After you put two glasses and a bottle of water on the table you walk towards the bedroom.

"Where are you going?"

Jake looks at you like you want to fly to another country.

"Wow, calm down, I just want to wear sweatpants" laughing, you shake your head. He acted like he was a little kid on his way to the amusement park.

"But hurry" he urges you impatiently.

If Jake wasn’t always so excited and happy like a little kid, you probably would have been annoyed.

You pulled the tight jeans out to get a black sweatpants out of the closet.

"Babe, where are you?"Jake calls you.

"Jake, take it easy, it’s just the opening scene"

When you come into the living room, Jake is already lying on the sofa and reaches for your hand to pull you to him.

So you lie down next to him and place your head on his chest.

"I love you" he whispers.

"Me or the movie? You confuse me when you’re so looking forward to a movie" you joke.

"Oh, but when a new book comes out that you want to read, you don’t talk to anyone until you’ve finished reading" he argues.

"Like when you’re busy at the computer?" you counter.

"Touché. And now Pssst it starts!" he points to the screen where the film begins.

-

-

Meanwhile, you lie on top of Jake and he has his arms wrapped around you and caresses you over the back.

"There! Have you seen it? Have you seen it?" he shouts with delight.

"Yeah, Jake, I saw it, just like the six times before, when we watched the movie"

"Remember, remember the 5th of November! The Gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason, why the gunpowder treason, should ever be forgot".

Again and again he murmurs the text of the film with no errors.

Smiling you watch your friend watching the movie happily and excitedly.

"You’re supposed to watch the movie and not watch me" Jake looks at you angry.

"But you also have such a mask, is it almost the same?"

"You’re kidding me again" he mumbles and pouts.

"Nonsense! I would never do that" you answer ironically.

"No, you would never do it...! Oh no, you didn’t look!"

He suddenly sat down with so much momentum that he pulls you up with him. You slip and fall down next to him on the sofa.

You almost fell off the couch if you hadn’t held on to the back.

Jake didn’t seem to notice because his eyes were still just on the TV.

"Uh, hello?" you get offended.

Jake’s head turned in your direction.

"Don’t you want to cuddle anymore?" he asks and looks sad.

Outraged, you open your eyes.

"Well, I wanted to keep cuddling but then you almost threw me off the sofa"

"Oh, um, I’m sorry, do you hurt?"

"No all right" you giggle as he lies down again and pulls you to himself again.

"I hate that chancellor!" Jake looks mad at the guy on TV.

“Jake, you’re going too deep in history again. It’s just a movie" you twist your eyes with a grin.

"That’s right, but the movie is my favorite movie"

He’s probably told you that a hundred times.

Half an hour later you lie quietly next to each other and think about the end of the film.

You’ve watched the movie together a lot, but still the ending is always special.

"Babe?"Jake murmurs suddenly.

"Hm?"

"What date is today?"

"Well, it’s October and not November, so it won’t be with quotes" you tease him again.

He sighs in annoyance.

"That’s not what I meant, I meant the right date"

"I believe the 25th of October"

"Well, it won’t be long now, so take your day off on November 5th, okay? We do something together" he explains, and doesn’t look like he’s just kidding.

"Do you want to blow up a building? Then I won’t come with you" you giggle.

"MC please, I mean it. Every year on November 5th there is a big event all over the World. The Million Mask March. The main purpose of the day is to really remember the 5th of November..., an event supported by Anonymous. I would like to go there with you, you will meet some of my friends"

Wow, you really didn’t expect that.

"You think it’s the right event for me?" you ask unsure.

You didn’t have anything to do with hacking or anything.

"Oh yeah that’s something for everyone, believe me"

That’s how he talked you into it.

"Okay, I’ll be there" you agree.

"Now let’s watch another movie, this time you choose" Jake tells you.

You’ll think of something.

As often as you have seen Vendetta now, you wanted to choose a movie that Jake didn’t like so much to make him insecure.

"Hmm, 50 Shades of Gray" you tell him.

Immediately his eyes become big and his face turns red.

"Forget it! No way!"

"Oh why not? I watch every movie you want to watch"

"Yes, but I don’t want to watch such movies!" he whines and looks at you pleading.

"Why not this one?" you pull an eyebrow upwards.

"Well, because he doesn’t wear clothes in the film half the time?"

Now you can’t and start laughing out loud.

"Because he’s always got nothing on" you repeat Jake’s line and curl up laughing on the sofa.

"What?" he murmurs beside you.

"Because he’s always got nothing on? Is that the only problem?"

"No, the movie in general. Sorry I don’t like my girlfriend looking at a half-naked guy beating his girlfriend all the time for two hours. Well, hitting is the right term” it’s clearly uncomfortable for him to talk about it.

"Baby this is a movie and he’s an actor just because he’s naked? I would never meet him anyway." You just can’t help raising him.

"Yes! Actor then he has a huge pile of money"

Meanwhile, you’re crying with laughter.

"Oh, Jake, I don’t care what anyone looks like, I’m lying next to you" you breathe.

"That’s right, and that’s why we can watch another movie, because you’re lying here next to me. Or then just keep looking at me like in the movie, that sounds like a very good idea in my opinion. Or how about something a little friendlier? Disney or something? How about finding Nemo?" now he’s just trying to focus on another topic.

"Okay then, 365 Days the movie is brand new on Netflix" you suggest the next idea.

"Oh no, not even that one!"

"What? Why not? You don’t even know him"

"You know, these walls are sometimes very thin, and the last time you talked to Jessy on the phone, you were talking pretty loud and excited about this movie. Do you want to tell me something? Why do you want to watch movies like this? In my movie, he even had a mask on and you want to see half naked guys?" he answers and looks demonstratively at the ceiling of the living room.

Anyone who didn’t know you two would probably think you were fighting right now, but you’re always teasing each other about these things. It was a mixture of really easy jealousy and fun, and Jake was good at it, and sometimes he annoyed you as much as you did him.

"Jake? A mask can be a fetish, why else are we together? " you giggle.

"Okay Wow, we never watch any movie again! That’s the best solution I think" seriously he looks at you.

But when he then looks at your face and sees all the tears because of the laughter, he also starts to laugh.

Soon after, he throws himself at you and begins to tickle you without mercy.

You’re almost out of breath and calling for him to stop.

He finally lets you go and you gasp for air.

"Idiot" you mumble out of breath.

"Your idiot" as always when you call him that, he answers you like that and winks.

After you finally calmed down, you just looked at Jake.

Then you put a seductive grin on your lips.

"We could also make our own film"

"That’s right, and I’ll play James Bond, right?" he looks at you grinning and doesn’t understand what you were getting at.

"No, Jake, I’m talking about a...romantic movie"

"Something like Titanic?" confused, he looks at you.

"You don’t like to watch movies like that" he quickly explained.

"No, Jake, neither James Bond nor Titanic" you giggle.

"Twilight?"

You almost hit your forehead with your hand.

"No babe, I’m talking about porn"

Jake, who at that very moment drank a sip of his water, swallowed up the liquid and started coughing.

For the second time today, you started laughing and slapped him on the back so he could breathe again.

"Arms above your head, Jake, it helps better"

Tortured, he did what you said and slowly calmed down.

"Oh, so late already? We really should sleep, don’t you think?" he asks, pretending he didn’t hear you at all. He quickly got up to disappear in the bedroom.

"Sleep normally or sleep together? Like sex?" you shout.

"Good night (Y/N)" you can hear him.

"Well, then go to sleep I’m going to take a quick shower" you explain and look at the door of the bedroom.

Jake suddenly sticks his head out the door and looks at you innocently.

"Take a shower?"

Grinning you nod to him and walk towards the bathroom.

"Um, I should be taking a shower, can I come with you?" he sounded more innocent than ever.

"Sure, if you dare" you blink.

Laughing, he follows you to the bathroom.

"Why? do you want to hit me like 50 Shades in the movie?"

"Maybe? I’m still thinking"

Jake shakes his head.

"This movie evening has really escalated"

-

-

So, I hope you guys like it and the idea too, I think a movie night with Jake would be pretty crazy.🌹🎭   Excuses the mistakes👉🏻👈🏻

[project-paranoia]

Live Watch: Guardian  Episode One, Part One

It's Guardian!  The show that got me interested in this genre!  I love spooky things and I love mysteries and fantasy!  I simply adore it so much!  When I can't sleep I just put on a playlist of Guardian in the background.  I was aware of censorship before - every country has some version of it, but to some degree this was my first deep dive into how it might effect a piece of media.  Guardian is exceptionally acted and incredibly written, as well as suffering from obvious dubs where the dubbing voice actor sounds nothing like the previous actor and odd cuts that are disrupted.  In some ways it's the little drama that could fighting its way past their studio going bankrupt while they were filming, reshoots, and being taken down and altered several times.

In some ways Guardian's struggle fits the spirit and aesthetic of the show. Worn in like an old pair of jeans but still making an effort.  Putting emphasis where things count and hoping the kindness of the universe will make allowances for the rest.  Attention to detail where the story really matters.  It has the charm of a community production put on out of love with actors and crew who would not be anywhere else in the world for any amount of money.  That feeling of love comes through, and whether or not I'm barely literate I have so many words to share.

Part of why I love it as well is it has that feeling of 80s and 90s fantasy, like Moomin, Xena or Condor Heroes. Everything feels lived in, nothing's been spit shined except for Shen Wei's suits. It's an old city street of a show, it has history and character built in. 

*After all that I don't know that I have a tonne to say about the intro.  It's very good but it's also full of spoilers.  I think having the intro song be in English does make a difference in making it appealing to English speaking audiences as well as standing out as different and interesting, which the show is. Speaking of Spoilers!  Spoilers below!

* The obligatory beginning narration is beautifully animated, I have another post that will be done some time before the heat-death of the universe talking about the fascinating world building options.  Unlike some Make It SciFi plots, this one has legs and implications.

* Remakes rarely are able to meet the original on equal ground - and I struggle to believe the actors would Fit as well - but part of me really wants to have a chance to have the Dixingren worldbuilding really leaned into.  The writing is good enough we get implication but no real follow through.  I want fifty episodes of how Dixing functions, give me more pseudo-science behind the mutations, what are the biological differences.  I'm hungry for more!

* I love the cameos of later characters, and the way there was some effort to be discrete with spoilers.

* It's Ya Boy!  I love Shen Wei.  With that music cue and that sinister turn around they really set him up as dubious.  I wish they went with something a little different with the intro so his character wasn't spoiled.  The writing, directing, and acting was so good and spoiling who Shen Wei is kind of took the teeth out of that.

* Also cheers to the costume designer who outfitted Zhu Yilong so well and made him look jacked with the fit of those clothes.

* Also you can tell this is a real university because the staff has to sit in tiny student chairs.  I'm not joking, please be warned if you're going into academia.  Unless you have tenure life is An Adventure - and even then.

* Also shout out to Shen Wei's Prized Cabbage and the Queen of our hearts, Li Qian.  Why is this actress not in more things?  She has such an expressive and lovely face and she really goes all the way in with her acting.  I respect an artist that acts from their chest. Also that windbreaker, white skirt combo is chic and fun all at once, it draws the eye and makes her melt into the background all at once - perfect for the character.  I love her so much.

* Here's another one of Shen Wei's coats, it's a lovely color for him but it also is so thin that it looks like it crinkled up just from being worn.

* I'm being distracted by details and missing plot stuff.

* Story of my life.

* I love Li Qian hovering along behind Shen Wei like a duckling following their mother.  A) Mood and B) it quietly informs their dynamic.  Shen Wei has like one person he can trust but no one he can really confide in and it's the same for Li Qian. A ship will find a port in a storm and Shen Wei has Big Da-ge Energy. My fanfic heart hopes they found comfort in the pseudo familial relationship with each other while it lasted.

* Even in episode one we receive foreshadowing, we love and respect some excellent writing.  For those of you who missed it - Professor Ouyang is talking about Lin Jing who I love partially because he's so outrageous large but has the total opposite of intimidating energy.  

* What did they feed you Lin Jing? He is so tall and wide, but they do a lot with camera work to try to make him not quite as big.  Side note, I would really love to see the actor who plays Lin Jing (Liu Minting) both in more dramas but more specifically in a role where he was like a minister or scholar - someone intellectual.  I think the combination of being such a big gentleman and also someone who like plots or plans would be really dynamic if it was written well.  

* Also I like the exchange where without a word Professor Ouyang indicates he has one last thing to say, it's private and that he would like Shen Wei to ask Li Qian to leave. That's What You Can Do With Good Actors!

* Li Qian is just so pretty and the actress emotes so well!

* Shen Wei totally understanding what's going on with this shady research immediately and wanting to stay as far away as possible.  We see one of the first examples of him being aggressively polite to remove himself from a situation.

* "i'M jUST aN oRDINARY sCHOLAR." No one buys it Shen Wei.

* Angy Thinking Face

* One thing the show is really good at is using establishing shots really well so you always know where everything is and everything is going

* Guo Changcheng, all around good boy and angel.  We stan a nervous legend

* Zhou Yunlan Arriving.  Why is everyone on this show an Absolute Legend

* Guo Changcheng protecting himself with his certificate is too cute.  This young man is trying his best and I support him.

* Also that coat is Young, Pure, Stylish; I love it

* Zhao Yunlan, what's wrong with you? You are amazing!

* His irreverent style and disregard of usual policy makes him fit in really well with his band of misfits and special cases

* Guo Changcheng's OO face is too good, elastic face

* Da Qing my love!

* Jin Ling, I think he has an all seeing eye on his hoodie thing. Illuminati Confirmed.

* Also they filmed the shots so well, so you always know where everyone is in relation to everyone else

* Our Prized Cabbage!  I love her!

* Great handheld work: shaky and unhinged, but not migraine inducing

* Foreshadowing in the form of a shadow and reaching for the necklace

* Da Qing's cat behaviours. I really want behind the scenes of the actor discussing how cat was he going to cat

* We get our first real example of how Zhao Yunlan doesn't feel safe emoting negatively and so he uses a super sunny mask to hide his feelings, except with Da Qing who he lets his anger show with because he trusts him.

* I'm not even halfway through and I've written so much, peace and blessings to the readers of this.

* Zhao Yunlan's swagger, after his childhood having a little power must feel comforting and good

* I love how Da Qing is talking as a cat less than a meter from the medical examiner.  Does the examiner not care or does he know?  Is he deaf?

* Harassing Guo Changcheng is the new team sport

* Zhao Yunlan Realises Something Music

* Also, Lollipop Measurement

* It's nice to see Zhao Yunlan just being himself with Da Qing, he's able to really be honest and genuine with him

* Slow Look Moment

* This moment is so fascinating!  Shen Wei doesn't know what's going on yet.  He just sees an old friend who winces when he sees him and disappears.  We mostly see things from Zhao Yunlan's point of view, but from Shen Wei's perspective this is a first part of just some Odd and Confusing Happenings

* This cat though!  I love him!

* The delicate way they’re both feeling each other out.  This must be so confusing and startling for Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan is trying to figure out if this teacher is going to bust him or what.

* He forgot to let go, way to set off Zhao Yunlan’s suspicions

* “Mark Stewart” Is he though?  Who picked out that English name?

* Li Qian!  I love her and I love that striped blouse. Fashion.  Got to look good when you’re resisting a mental break. *Also she hears a meow and looks around at eye level, I love that for her.

* Zhao Yunlan!  You can’t take pictures of young ladies without their permission.  What is wrong with you!

* I love Da Qing’s very cat attitude of I Will Have Vengeance for These Wrongs

* Two for one! Shen Wei meets two faces from his past.

* Also, I get a little frustrated about people making a big deal about the 10,000 years versus 1,000 years age thing with Da Qing.  a) He has amnesia and b) the thousand years refers to the amount of time needed to cultivate to a certain stage in Chinese mythology - usually by absorbing energy from the sun, moon, or depending on the animal other sources.

* I feel so bad for Shen Wei, who knows what he thinks.  Were his friends brainwashed?  Did they forget?  Can they not say for some reason?  What is happening?

This review is getting a little long, so join in tomorrow for Part Two~~!

[cilldaracailin]

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Hello my Tumblr lovely’s.

Here is the next part in this story.

Hope you all enjoy.

Thanks so much for all the love and comments on this one so far :)

Suze xx

3 “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”

“So, what was that all about? The ID?” Asked Taron as they sat down on the base of the stone statue, the little green area on the opposite side of the canal much quieter than the town and where the parade had been, only a few people walking around heading home after the parade and duck race.

“Jane is in the musical society and is a fan of yours.” Robyn smiled. “She knew who you were as soon as you walked up even with the green hair and shamrocks on your cheek.”

“And that I wasn’t Dean Edwards?” He chuckled.

“She is a huge Elton John fan and adored your performance in Rocketman. Believe me, I saved you from an onslaught of questions and pictures.”

“You really haven’t told anyone about me, have you?” He asked her quietly, pulling at the orange fabric on the duck in his hands.

Robyn looked to Taron, taking in his strong side profile, noticing how he kept his eyes on the duck in his hands. “Not really no.”

“Can I ask you why?”

Robyn looked away from his face and to her own hands. “It’s not that I haven’t been sharing the news around that I know you and of course my friends and family know what happened in Florida as well as the gospel choir and musical society and of course the parents and the girls in work…”

“So, a lot of people really know.” He interrupted with a little smile.

“Those who are important to me know Taron. I am not keeping you a secret, but I am not shouting from the rooftops that my new best friend is a wonderfully talented actor with a heap of awards under his belt. You know how much I love you Taron and how important you are to me, how important our relationship is to me and I have seen first-hand how horrible the unwanted media attention is for you and for me too that I don’t really feel the need to share what we have with those who don’t deserve to know about it. You are a very special person Taron and only those who I can trust get to know about you.” Taron reached over with his free hand as she spoke and held her right hand tight in his left. “I know it’s a bit different for you because at times you live your life in the public eye and I am there with you too and you know I am ok with that Taron, you know that.”

“I do.”

“But I only share the most precious things in my life with those I fully and truly trust and believe it or not, it doesn’t include most of Kilcreen. By only introducing you to those I have full faith in, means my home will always be a sanctuary for you Taron, a place you can come to when you need too. Somewhere you can freely walk around without your hat and eyes on the back of your head on the constant look out for a rouge photographer.”

“And I know that means a lot to you too. Even though you accept that aspect of my life, I know it is something you can find difficult.”

“Taron you know I don’t…”

“I know Robyn and when you accompany me on the red carpet and stand willingly with me, I know you are there to fully support me and be there for me without a question and the way you keep protecting me is something I don’t think I will ever get used too but I appreciate that being photographed when you are just out getting a coffee with me is something very unsettling for you at times.”

“At times.” She agreed. “So like I said, it’s not that I don’t want my world to know about you, I just want to keep a bubble for you when you need it and Taron, I honestly don’t mind getting photographed with you. It gives me more photos for my wall!” She laughed as he let go of her hand and went straight to tickle her. “But on a serious note, I am always here for you ok? No matter what and like I said, it’s not that I don’t want to share you, it’s just I need to be absolutely sure those I can share you with will be respectful to you.”

“Jane’s not one of them?” He asked.

“Oh, she is. Don’t worry but it’s not the time or place for a photo opportunity and I already gave her the piece of paper you signed for me when we went to The Prince of Egypt together.”

“The one you pushed into your bra.”

Robyn laughed. “Yeah that one.”

“You still gave it to Jane after it had been in your bra?”

Robyn’s nose crinkled up as she looked at him. “Jane has boobs too and wears bras.”

Taron laughed a little nervously. “Not where I was going with that chicken but ok sure. Just you gave her the piece of paper you had in your bra.”

“She really didn’t care Taron. It had your signature on it and I really didn’t need it.”

“Or to sell it on eBay.” He added.

“Nope.”

“Robyn?”

“Yep.”

“Thanks for asking me to come over for St. Patrick’s Day and for keeping my bubble for me when I need it.”

“Anytime rocketman.” Robyn slipped right arm around his waist, inching a little closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder.

Taron looked at the duck in his hands, which was now looking a little bit sad, his costume and feathers destroyed with water. “Poor rocketman.” He pulled a very soggy orange feather from the duck. “Though to be fair, after I had finished filming in that outfit, I looked pretty much the same. It was so hot and I was so hot and was melting in that onesie.”

“I can only imagine.”

“And the weather was so unbelievably heated and humid. It was so uncomfortably muggy.”

“Some of those outfits looked very heavy and stifling.”

“That dress was a killer.”

Robyn chuckled. “Your face never showed that though.”

Well I am an actor.” He replied. He pulled the envelope which he got from Jane with the prize money from winning the duck race from his coat pocket. “This is yours.”

“Erm nope.” Robyn lifted her head from his shoulder and pushed it back towards him. “That is your prize. Your duck won.”

“Because you bought it for me.”

“Because you wanted one Taron.”

“Because it is a Kilcreen St Patrick’s Day tradition. This is yours.”

“Absolutely not Taron. It’s your prize.” Robyn took the envelope from him and pushed it inside his coat. “Yours.”

Taron took the envelope out again. “It’s ours and we keep it for when we meet up and do things together, like having dinner later or a few drinks. So…” He opened the envelope and took the notes out and split the money in two. “You keep half and I keep half and when it’s gone it’s gone so we spend it wisely and keep cwtch away from it.”

Robyn laughed and she put the money in her purse, while Taron did the same for his wallet.

“I can’t believe you bloody won. I have had a duck in this race since it started and never won.”

“I told you Robyn. You are my good luck charm. Have been since I met you in Florida.” Taron leaned over and went to kiss her cheek but we met with a face full of hair as Robyn turned her head as the loudspeaker set up on the green for the day squeaked as a voice started to speak.

“And now we have a performance from Kilcreen’s Gospel Choir, directed by Maddie Lyons.”

“Shit!” Robyn scrambled to her feet cursing. “Shit fucking shit balls!”

“Robyn?”

“The gospel choir! The performance after the duck race! I bloody forgot!” Taron started to laugh as Robyn brushed herself down. “What are you doing! We need to go!”

She bent down and grabbed his hands, yanking him to his feet and took to a run, still holding onto his right hand, almost dragging him behind her, until he caught up. She sprinted up the stone steps and down the bridge and road that led into the The Square, glad that Taron kept up with her. They moved through the crowd, Robyn apologising as she bumped into people as they went, still hauling Taron behind her. She stopped suddenly, Taron bumping into her.

“Stay with my mam.” She instructed him a little breathless from their quick run and with a mouthed apology to Maddie, snuck into the choir group, finding her place in the front row, still trying to catch her breath as she joined in with the song they were singing, picking up on the harmonies easily.

Lizzie looked to Taron who was grinning and trying to catch his own breath. “And you were?” She asked him.

“On the green by the train station. Lost track of time.”

“Hmm I am sure.” She looked to his hands and saw the duck he was holding. “So, you won then?”

“Ahh yeah, I did,”

“What did Robyn decorate that duck as?”

Taron blushed a little. “Erm it’s actually like one of the costumes I wore for the Elton John movie.” He explained. “Feathers and all.”

“You wore something like that?”

Taron chuckled. “It was a bit more elaborate but yeah I did.”

“I actually think I remember.” Lizzie replied. “The one at the start of the movie?”

“That was it.”

“And Robyn made the duck look like you?”

He laughed again. “Not me exactly but more so the outfit.”

“Uh-huh.” Lizzie answered turning her attention back to the choir as they started to sing another song. “Sure Taron.”

Glancing at the duck in his hands, Taron looked up to where Robyn was standing in the choir, his heart hammering in his chest and not from the quick dash they had made to get to her choir. He caught her eye and immediately saw a blush rise to her cheeks and knew it matched the ones on his.

“So, you invited Robyn to another event of yours?” Asked Lizzie having heard the choir sing the song they were currently singing many times before, she was happy to miss it and engage in a little chat with the man beside her, not yet having the chance to talk to him on his own.

“Yeah I did. It’s the premier in London for the movie I finished filming in February.”

“The one that was stopped because of what happened in Florida?” Asked Lizzie.

“That’s the one. Matthew, the director, put a lot of hours in to make sure it was ready for the original release date in April and I really want Robyn to go with me. It’s because of her that I was even able to finish filming.”

“Robyn was telling me you are working on a new film at the moment too?”

Taron nodded. “Yeah. That was the reason why I was late coming over. My schedule is pretty full on and it changed at the last minute. Matthew is the director for this one too and he finalised his cast at the weekend and organised a last-minute script read through. Just something I had to go to.”

“But you still made it here.”

“I promised Robyn I would.”

“And when I first met you, I asked you to look after my daughter and you promised me you would.”

Taron heard the change of tone in Robyn’s mothers voice and he closed his eyes as he waited for yet another lecture from another strong woman. “Lizzie…”

“I know you love her Taron.” His words were not only cut off but caught in his throat and he turned to look at Lizzie seeing so much of Robyn in her features and his eyes moved to meet hers. “And I also know she loves you too and you don’t need to look at me with that doubtful look. I don’t want to bring the subject of New York up but for Robyn to still be fully giving her all to you after that, I know she loves you. It’s been a while since I have seen her excited over a weekend away or a phone call or a teddy bear.” Taron smiled. “You made her day with that present, believe me. Even I tried to find one for her and could not.”

“Sometimes my job does have its perks. I was so happy to find something to make her smile.”

“You make her smile Taron, frustrate her too but definitely make her smile.”

“I try too. Lizzie, I can’t explain to you how important your daughter is to me.”

“You don’t have to Taron. Your actions, the majority of your actions show me that, but I just want to say one thing Taron. Robyn has been deeply hurt in a past relationship. I don’t know if she ever talked to you about Keith?”

Taron nodded. “She mentioned him once or twice.”

“Fucker, if you excuse my French. I tell you something, if I ever see his face again…” Lizzie’s words trailed off. “Sorry Taron.”

“It’s ok. I don’t actually know the whole story but I know he was a fucker as you call him.”

“As her mother you can understand that I will never let any man hurt her again and I know you are not him Taron and from how Robyn speaks about you after she has been with you, I know you treat her with the upmost respect and to be fair, I don’t think I need to worry about Robyn standing up for herself.”

Taron nodded his agreement. “I have seen it first-hand. It is not something you need to be concerned about.”

“But I just need you to promise me that you will look after her. She has this strong exterior but underneath she is a vulnerable young woman who just needs to be loved without question. I am not going to lie to you Taron, some aspects of your job worry me.”

“The media.” Sighed Taron.

“Got it in one.”

“I can’t promise you that I can keep every photo taken of us together from the media Lizzie, but I can do my best to try. I have a wonderful team who work with me.”

“And I have already seen how hard they work for you and I very much appreciate what you have done for Robyn so far but just the things people write about the two of you, about Robyn.”

Taron groaned. “Please don’t read them Lizzie. Robyn doesn’t read them. I don’t read them. I understand it is hard not to, but it is the only way to deal with it, by not reading it. Unfortunately, it is just something that comes with my job and it is very unwanted attention I get.” He reached for her hands. “Mothers just have a knack for knowing things and you are right, just like mine was. I love Robyn and I mean properly love her like head spinning, goose bumps and racing heart love her. She has been a constant comfort in my life since I met her and gotten me through some tough times and saved my life but please trust and believe me that I am always there for her too when she needs me and always will be no matter what. She is a beautiful, intelligent woman who literally holds my heart Lizzie and I promise to treat her with the respect and love she deserves, the same she has shown me.”

Lizzie smiled. “Thank you, Taron.” She leaned in and gave him a close hug. “And before you even think about it, Robyn hates massages.”

“Sorry?” Asked Taron confused.

“My daughter is very good at giving them but hates them.”

Taron felt his whole face flush and as the hug ended, he saw a wicked smile on Robyn’s mother face. “You heard about that then.”

“I am her mother. She tells me things.” Lizzie watched as his blush stretched to his neck. “And I need you to make sure you look after yourself because I need you to look after her.” She smiled at him. “She loves anything to do with her hair though.”

Taron smiled back. “I figured that one out already.”

Lizzie lifted her hands and placed them on his cheeks. “From what I have seen Taron, you are well fitted for her, but she is my only child.”

Although Lizzie’s tone was a little light, he could hear the warning in her words and nodded under her hands. In the same way as Robyn did, Lizzie stroked his cheeks a little before her hands fell from his face and she turned her attention back to the choir.

He had expected a speech at some point from Robyn’s mother and it wasn’t the angry one he had been waiting for but rather an almost plea for him to look after Lizzie’s most precious possession, her daughter. Her words spun around his head. Robyn loved him? Well he knew that. He knew Robyn loved him; she had told him herself. In fact, she had told him less than ten minutes ago as they sat on the green but Lizzie spoke as if Robyn’s feelings ran deeper.

“Hey Taron!” Robyn’s dad came and stood beside his wife. “Enjoy the parade?”

“Yeah I did.” He answered, his thoughts still on the conversation with Lizzie. He shook his head, deciding he just didn’t have the energy at the moment that it would take to think it through and turned to look at the choir as a cheer went up around him and Robyn took the few steps forward to the microphone.

“Happy St Patrick’s Day!” She spoke. “Thanks so much for sticking around to listen to us having a good old sing song. We have been working on a new song and sure we’re going to give it a whirl and see what happens with it. It’s not what we would call performance ready but if you know it sing along.” Robyn looked for Taron in the crowd and gave him a quick little wink and before she moved and picked up her guitar, Taron recognising the instrument as hers straight away having played it himself. He stared her down and once she started playing the opening riff, his whole body rose with surprise his face going straight into a smile.

“Know this one?” Lizzie asked him seeing his face light up.

“Might just know it.” He answered, his eyes closing as the music for Tiny Dancer filtered through the speakers, Robyn taking the lead vocal as she played guitar, the choir supporting her with a wonderful chorus of harmonised ohhs and ahhs.

Taron pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly opened his camera to video the performance. He wanted to keep a copy of it but also have one for Elton too, knowing he would want to see this and would thoroughly enjoy not only the gospel take on his song but the fact that Robyn was singing it. For the second verse, the whole choir joined in with Robyn and she took a step back from the microphone, so her voice didn’t carry louder the others. He naturally just sang along, enjoying how the crowd around him joined in too, the beautiful acoustic version of the Elton John song along with the crowd making it an exquisite version. Robyn stepped forward to take a solo verse again and her eyes locked on his the whole time and he knew she could see him singing along and he gave her one of those full grin smiles he had when he was truly in his happy place.

This song was more than just a song from the movie he was in, more than just an Elton John hit. It was the song he had in his head as Robyn taught him to control his breathing in the 7/11 when he was panicking, the one she had gently sung to him as he lay in pain in the ambulance and the song he had taken to singing while he was in her kitchen when he visited her, even videoing himself singing it on Robyn’s phone for her. It was their song, one that they had bonded over, one that brought a tear to his eye as he just closed his eyes and listened. It already held such a special place in his heart from his time filming Rocketman but now it held such a different emotional connection and he would always associate it with Robyn. He had heard Kilcreen’s gospel choir perform before, even joining them for a rehearsal and their harmonies were so on point, the difficulty increasing as the song moved through to another verse, Taron hearing Robyn’s voice taking the chorus herself again. He didn’t even think about singing along and naturally did so, his own voice louder than those around him but he didn’t care. He had to sing along and even with the slight crackle and wobble in his voice from tiredness, he didn’t stop until the song had finished, only himself and Robyn ending the song, Taron a little flustered that he had kept going when everyone else had stopped but he was so caught up in the music he hadn’t noticed.

As a huge cheer went up for the performance and Taron was brought down to earth as he had been floating on a music high. He looked to Robyn and saw that once again her eyes were locked with his and he mouthed ‘thank you’ to her and she nodded back to him, before she moved to put her guitar back taking her place back in the front row. The choir sang for another ten minutes and had finished their set just as a few drops of rain started to fall, the crowd starting to disperse quickly as the rain threatened.

“Taron, John and I am going to head on home. We normally have a meal with my sister who lives next door us on Patrick’s Day. She cooks us up a proper Irish meal.”

“Robyn isn’t going?” Asked Taron, wiping away a single raindrop from his forehead.

“She normally does but don’t you have plans for the day? Something about Guinness and a céilí?”

Taron nodded. “Yeah that was the plan but if she normally has dinner with her family…” Taron’s voice trailed off.

“Robyn can have dinner with us whenever she wants Taron. She only gets to see you for two days. She planned a completely Irish themed evening for you. Go and enjoy yourself.” Lizzie gave him a quick hug. “She wants you to have a good night so go and do so. It was so lovely to see you again.”

“Thank you Lizzie and you too. I will look after her for you.”

“I trust you completely with her.”

With another goodbye to her parents, Taron then turned to look toward the choir all of who had already left, just Robyn and Maddie staying behind to tidy up. He strolled over to them. “Need some help?” He asked, getting a big grin from Robyn who nodded. “What can I do?”

With some instruction from the two woman and with his help, the three had all the wires, cables and speakers put back in Maddie’s car as well as the microphone stands, music stands and keyboard within fifteen minutes.

“Thanks so much Taron. That made my life a lot easier.” Said Maddie.

“No problem. Thanks for the performance. I think Kilcreen gospel choir might be my favourite.” He laughed.

“You are already a member Taron, no need to suck up to the musical director.” Laughed Robyn as she swung her guitar case on her back.

“You know where we practice Taron and are welcome whenever you want.” With a quick goodbye, Maddie hopped in her car, giving the horn a beep as she drove off.

“So Tiny Dancer?” Asked Taron as he turned to Robyn. “Who came up with that song choice?”

“No idea.” She answered him, shrugging her shoulders and it was an awkward hug that Taron gave her as he held the duck in one hand and he couldn’t wrap his free arm full around her guitar. “Guess you liked it then.”

“It was beautiful. Haven’t heard it sang like that before.”

“Heard you singing along.” Robyn answered him as he let her go. “You should have come up and joined us.”

“You didn’t need any help and I thought you didn’t play in front of people.”

Robyn shrugged her shoulders once more. “Guess I changed my mind. We should make a move before those clouds actually break into a proper shower. I just need to drop this home before we head for some food.”

“That is fine by me.”

[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 24: The Last Night Of Freedom

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 3402

Warnings: Smut, vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering, nudity, Daddy!Kink, Dom!Steve, sub!Reader, dirty talk, cussing, alcohol, implications of female strippers.

A/N: Just so you know, Y/F/N means Your Friend’s Name and Y/C/N means Your Cousin’s Name; both female in this case. Though if you aren’t close with any cousins, you can just imagine another friend. Enjoy this chapter!

“May your bachelorette party be filled with and fun, love, laughter, and most importantly, lots and lots of liquor.” Natasha spoke with a smirk before shouting “To Y/N!” as a closer to her Maid of Honour speech, or what was at least a shorter version. The real one would take place in exactly a week, but instead of being in front of five other ladies, it would be in front of about two hundred wedding guests.

The small circle of women all cheered and clinked their glasses together, repeating “To Y/N!” with huge smiles before tipping their drinks back.

A group of people from a table nearby started to clap, making the bride-to-be blush and give them a small wave after she finished her sip.

Y/F/N turned around to the look at the supportive Las Vegas bar patrons before facing back to Y/N with a smile. “Ooo, N/N. Looks like that one guy over there recognizes you.” She discretely nudged her head towards the handsome brunette who was sitting right across from them. “He’s cute, you should go for it.”

“Dude, I’m getting married in literally a week.” The actress stated, shaking her head at her friend’s silliness.

Maria smirked. “Still, it’s never too late to call it off.”

Y/C/N laughed at the comment, completely knowing that it was a joke. You’d have to be completely blind to not see the pure love between Steve and Y/N. “Ya, then that way I could have the Captain all for myself.”

“Oh please.” Y/N playfully shook her head. “We all know that Natasha would have next dibs.”

The assassin scoffed in response. “Says who?”

The woman of the hour raised her eyebrows. “You, ‘ya big fiancé kisser!”

The table erupted in gasps and giggles.

“Wait, wait, wait, what happened?” Pepper chimed in.

Maria chuckled. “Oh ya, I heard about that!”

“She kissed Steve when they were in Washington like a year ago.” Y/N explained, pretending to be mad when in reality she was completely over it. “He wasn’t technically my fiancé yet, but you still kissed my boyfriend.”

“It was for a mission! The guys could’ve killed us if we were recognized! I did what I had to do to hide our faces.” Natasha stated, throwing an arm up and down in exaggeration. “How did you even find out? Did Steve tell you?”

“Well, duh!” Y/N said with a laugh. “The man apologized to me like five times.”

“But you kiss a ton of actors all the time for your job.” Pepper pointed out with furrowed eyebrows and tilted her head. “Do you apologize?”

The girl in question nodded her head. “At first, for sure. It was pretty hard for him to deal with, and that’s why he felt so guilty doing the same back to me.” She took another sip of her drink, watching Natasha’s expression from over the rim of her glass. The redhead had an uncharacteristically ashamed look on her face. “Relax, Nat.” Y/N spoke after putting her empty glass down on the glossy wood table. “I’m not really upset, I was just kidding.”

Y/F/N grinned. “So... free dibs to kiss Mr. America then?”

“Absolutely not.”

*****

“To Steve!” Sam cheered, urging the other four guests to repeat him, while the one man of the hour just stood there and beamed.

After taking a long sip of his beer, Clint slapped a hand on the Captain’s shoulder. “May your bachelor party be one to remember.”

“Your last night of freedom.” Rhodes added.

Steve shook his head with a smile. “Well, we can’t exactly call it my last night of freedom. The wedding is a whole seven days away.”

“Still,” Tony cocked his head to the side, “the last night where you’re not tied down to the responsibilities of becoming a husband.“

And it was exactly that. Y/N and the wedding planner had reserved the entire upcoming week to set things up for the ceremony, reception, and photoshoot in between.

“Come on,” Thor, who came back to Earth specifically for these festivities, let out a deep chuckle, “you can tell by the look in this man’s eyes that he truly loves all the weddingly duties.”

Sam nodded. “We all know that Cap would rather be snuggled under the covers with Y/N somewhere than be here with us.”

Steve gave them one of his half grins. “Regardless of what I’d rather or be doing right now,-”

“Or who you’d rather be doing.” Tony interrupted, making the circle of men laugh and the groom-to-be roll his eyes.

“Anyways, I really do appreciate you guys bringing me here.” Steve stated, glancing around their private room at one of Las Vegas’ fanciest bars. It was something that only the big names of the Avengers could book, and the big wallet of Tony Stark could afford.

“The evening’s only beginning though, right, Stark?” Clint waggled his eyebrows up and down with a cheesy smirk.

“Most definitely.” Tony snickered before checking the time on his very expensive watch, seeing that it was now 9:56 at night. “And in a little less than five minutes, the show will finally start.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “What show? I thought we were just going to go back down and gamble some more.”

In order to avoid the man’s eyes, Sam and Tony glanced at their shoes as Clint took a sip of his drink in hopes to hide his smile. Rhodes started to chuckle a little bit, meanwhile Thor was just as confused as the super soldier.

“What did you guys plan?” Steve questioned, suddenly bringing out his special Captain America voice that was only reserved for missions; sometimes the bedroom.

Stark just shrugged mischievously.

“Tony, guys, I swear to Go-”

Roger’s words were interrupted by the sound of squealing women, high heels thumping down the hallway, and a big speaker that was playing some new sensual pop song that he had never heard before.

“You didn’t.” Steve ground his teeth in frustration, eyeing each of his friends. “Whose idea was this?”

Sam sheepishly raised his hand. “It’s my duty as Best Man to give you the best night ever!”

“I thought that we had discuss-”

The double doors suddenly burst open, revealing a large clan of attractive women wearing very, very little clothing. “Oh, Captain!” They called before skipping into the room and circling around the seemingly uncomfortable man.

Steve just sighed as he glanced around the approximately ten pretty faces surrounding him, eyes not daring to stray any lower than their chins. “Oh boy.”

*****

The music of the bar club just seemed to get louder and louder, clouding all of her senses as she took another sip of what was probably her third drink of the evening. Y/N wasn’t exactly drunk yet, but tipsy enough to not really care that she’d been sitting alone for the last half an hour.

Las Vegas was pretty fancy, the girl would have to give it that. The bars were lined with more liquor bottles than she could count, not a finger smudge on any of them, and she was pretty sure that her hotel room was at least 50% marble.

But of course, that could’ve just been Tony’s miraculous planning skills; or Tony’s miraculous stack of money. Y/N couldn’t even imagine what it would cost to bring all twelve people in the wedding party to Las Vegas for the weekend, let alone stay in the two nicest casino hotels in the area.

Yes, two. One for the men, one for the women. Sam and Natasha took great responsibility in their Best Man and Maid of Honour roles, deciding to have the two groups bunk separately, almost ten blocks apart. It was Steve and Y/N’s bachelor and bachelorette parties after all, one of their last nights being two singles. Everyone wanted the pair to spend it to its full extent.

Vibrations coming from her clutch broke Y/N out of her slightly tipsy haze, making the girl take out her cellphone and instantly smile when she saw that it was Steve calling her. “Hello?” She spoke after answering it.

“Hey, sweetheart.” The man said from the other end.

“Honey.” She greeted as she sat up straighter on her barstool, becoming excited at the sound of his voice, “What’s up?”

“Just miss you, that’s all.”

Y/N beamed. They had only been apart for half of a day, and he had already wanted to see her. “I miss you too, Stevie. You having fun?”

“Uh,” the Captain puffed out a breath, “ya, ya, tons of fun. T-Tame fun, nothing too crazy.” He told her, trying to hide the fact that there had just been plenty of almost-naked women dancing around him. “What about you?”

“Well,” Y/N looked around the noisy bar that she was in, still seeing none of her friends around, “it’s been okay.”

“Only okay?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, it started out great.” She explained. “But, uh, everyone ‘sorta went off to do their own thing.”

“They ditched you?” Steve sternly asked, mad at the fact that Y/N was all by herself in the busy city of Las Vegas.

“No!” She shook her head back and forth, even though he couldn’t actually see her. “Pepper and Y/C/N we’re doing so well in the casino that I just let them keep going, last time I saw Nat and Maria they were playing pool, and Y/F/N went off somewhere to hook up with this random guy.”

“Awe, doll. I’m so sorry.” Steve comforted.

Y/N gloomily tapped her nails against the sleek wood bar top, her other hand still holding the phone to her ear. “It’s alright. You know that these clubs and all aren’t exactly my scene anyways.”

“Here,” the man spoke up, coming upon a realization, “I have an idea. Why don’t you go down to the lobby, and I’ll meet you there?”

“You ‘wanna come over here?”

Steve answered like it was obvious. “Of course.”

Y/N was confused. “But hon, it’s your bachelor party. The whole point of the night is to be away from each other. I don’t ‘wanna ruin your fun.”

He shook his head at her words, telling even from blocks away that there was a sheepish look painted on her face. “You honestly think that you’d be ruining my fun? Baby, you are my fun.” Steve looked around the room that he was in, making sure all of his friends seemed alright on their own. “Just meet me down there, N/N. Then we can go up to your room, and I’ll give you the best bachelorette party that you could ever ask for. That’s a promise.”

*****

Y/N fumbled with her hotel room key card as she struggled to unlock her door, getting the red light instead of the green light every time. Though to her defence, there was a major distraction grinding up against her backside.

“Better hurry up, baby girl. I’m getting impatient here.” Steve whispered huskily into her ear, leaving her shivering.

The girl finally managed to unlock her door, and the moment she did, it was closed from the inside and she was shoved against it. Y/N’s legs around Steve’s waist, his lips against her neck. She let out a high-pitched moan.

“Oh, you like that, baby? You like it when your daddy’s rough with you?”

Another whine in response.

“I need an answer, baby.” The man added with a particularly harsh bite to her neck. Y/N instantly knew there’d be marks the next day, worrying that they’d still be there for the wedding, but was too turned on to say anything.

“Yes.” She managed to let slip past her lips.

“‘Yes’ who?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl.” Just as every time, the word ‘daddy’ went straight to Steve’s dick; the evidence was extremely prominent against Y/N’s thigh. 

He had-had enough by now. And so, he grabbed on to the neckline of her olive green dress and ripped it straight down. His plump lips instantly attacked her chest, which to both his surprise and delight, was not clad in a bra.

“I knew it.” Steve rasped. “Have you been braless all night, my naughty girl?”

“Yes, daddy.” Y/N said shakily. But who could blame her for not wearing one? It was a strapless dress and the top part was double-layered anyways.

“I bet you aren’t wearing any panties either.” He said in between sloppy kisses to her breasts. “I think I have to check.” And with that, he strongly pressed the fingers of his right hand against her clit, being correct about the lack of underwear. But once again, who could blame her? The bottom part of her bodycon dress was very thin, and she definitely couldn’t have panty lines.

“Daddy.” The girl whined.

His fingers then slipped inside her tight, aching hole, repeatedly thrusting in and out.

Y/N’s legs turned to jelly, instantly hanging against Steve’s sides. Luckily though, due to his brute strength and the sturdiness of the hotel’s door, she stayed upright as he continued fucking her with his fingers.

“Cum for me baby, cum for your daddy.” He ordered, his thumb and forefinger instantly pinching her clit.

So with that, Y/N let go of any last bit of control she had left, and came. Hard.

The room was filled with the sounds of whines, panting, and the squishing of Steve’s fingers inside of her wet opening.

“Shhh, shh.” He cooed as she came down from her high. “You did so great, my precious girl.” Right as Y/N felt brought back down to Earth, he started counting in a low voice “That’s one.”

Uh oh, she though to herself. It was one of those nights. Those nights were Steve repeatedly made her cum until she was so sensitive that she couldn’t even move. And it’s not that Y/N didn’t enjoy these nights, because she sure did, but she also knew that once he was getting started, there was no way of getting him to stop.

Steve brought his right hand up to his mouth, slowly and sensually licking the juices off each individual finger as if savouring the taste of her. The man adjusted his hands underneath Y/N’s thighs before he quickly walked them both to the bed, throwing her onto it.

Just as quickly, Steve took off his sport coat and crawled overtop of her with a low growl; this just added to her wetness. “Let’s see how many more you’ve got in you, little girl.” He said with quirked up lips. But that sly smirk was soon out of Y/N’s field of view, as his mouth descended to her dripping pussy.

“Oh, Jesus.” She said as she felt his tongue against her.

He peered up from between her legs. “That’s not my name, princess.” 

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

Steve went back down and continued his delicious assault on her core. With every stroke of his tongue, Y/N felt as if she was being pulled further and further away from her coherent thoughts. The only two things on her mind being the feel of his mouth on her vagina, and the slight brush of his nose against her clit every time he shifted his head.

“Daddy, I-I-I’m going to cum again.” Y/N stuttered.

The words “Do it, babydoll.” vibrated against her pussy, pushing the girl over the edge for a second time.

Steve lapped up every last drop that Y/N had to offer, and once he went up the bed so that they were eye to eye, licked his lips. The man looked every bit as much as a cat who just got his cream. “Two.” He proudly rumbled into her ear.

Y/N was still in her post-orgasm bliss as she heard the sound of Steve’s belt being undone and dropped to the floor. She turned her head just in time to see him finish unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his sculpted chest and abs. Next to go was his pants and boxer briefs, Steve’s large hands pulling them both down all at once. 

Y/N’s mouth watered at the sight of his delicious cock. No matter how many times that she had seen it and felt it before, the size continued to overwhelm her.

As if the man had read her mind, “You like what you see, my baby?” He took the handy condom out of his wallet, rolling it on and stroking himself in the process.

Too caught up in the sight of what was him, all that Y/N could do was nod her head.

Once again, Steve made his way to hover above her. One moment, the girl was staring up into his beautiful blue eyes, and the next, she was moaning out in surprise at the sudden impact of him inside of her. 

Just as suddenly, his dick started to thrust in and out of her at a slow, leisurely pace. Steve was doing it specifically to drive her insane. It had worked.

“Faster, daddy.” Y/N whimpered.

“Baby girl, is that how you ask daddy a question?” The Captain retaliated as he continued to move in and out of her wanting hole.

The girl was almost crying at this point, “Please, please daddy, can you go please faster?”

Steve, starting to get impatient himself, began to fuck her more quickly. He could see how easily she was falling apart underneath him by each squeeze of her walls around his member.

And with a gasp, Y/N was cumming again.

“Three.” Steve groaned out as he was slowing his thrusts. The man then pulled out of her, his dick still as hard as ever.

Without warning the girl was tossed onto her stomach, Steve’s big hands harshly grasping her hips and bringing them closer to his own. There would definitely be bruises the next day, matching the ones he already made on her neck and chest. But she decided she’d wear them all with pride, and maybe a bit of concealer if necessary.

Steve entered her a second time, his pace being even quicker than before; if possible. He could see Y/N’s hands strongly grasping the sheets from his place behind her, just loving how desperate she was for him.

Between the feeling of her tight pussy around him and the continual sounds she was making, the man figured that it wouldn’t be long before he finished. But, he knew he could give her one more first. Steve was the type who got off on getting her off. Y/N had no complaints.

As he started to rub circles on her clit, she loudly moaned out into the vast expanse of her hotel room.

“Come on little girl, give me one more,” Steve huffed. “Cum once more for daddy.”

With that last bit of encouragement, the girl came again; her biggest orgasm of the night triggering his own.

“Y/N, baby.” He groaned out as she collapsed on the bed from exhaustion. Steve swerved just in time to avoid crushing her, running a hand through his damp golden hair. “Best. Bachelor. Party. Ever.” He spoke in between pants of breath.

The girl turned onto her back and nodded her sweat-covered head. “Agreed.”

The man only stayed on the bed a minute before he was up and heading to the ensuite bathroom. He returned with a wet, warm washcloth and began to rub in between Y/N’s thighs, cleaning her up.

“Thank you.” She said hoarsely, her voice practically wrecked after the night’s activities.

“Of course.” Steve replied with a sincere smile. How in less than five minutes he went from a dominant sex god to a sweet and wholesome boyfriend would forever remain a mystery to Y/N.

He returned the cloth to the restroom before making his way back to the bed, turning off the room’s lights along the way.

“I love you so much.” The Captain stated as he tucked them both underneath the covers and pulled her into his arms.

The effect that this man had on her never failed, as Y/N was blushing at the simple phrase they’ve said over a thousand times. “I love you more.” She added cheekily.

“Not possible.” Steve contradicted, just as usual. And before she could counter back, he placed a loving kiss right on her lips.

“Goodnight, Stevie.” Y/N spoke as she turned in his arms, having him spoon her.

“Goodnight, my love.” But, it only took about three seconds before he was speaking up again. “Oh, and babydoll?”

“Mm-hmm?” Y/N replied, almost asleep.

“Four.”

Next Chapter

Feedback is always welcome!❤️

[theadrogna]

This comes under the heading of better late than never, and many apologies to @singledarkshade​ for the lateness of this response to the Dream Movie Challenge. So, we were given six actors from our favourite TV shows/movies, a wildcard actor, and a random item. We had use these actors and the object to create our own movie.

I give you a supernatural romantic comedy, starring Matt Ryan, Elizabeth Henstridge, April Bowlby, Taika Waititi, Ellen Page, and Woody Harrelson. With a special appearance by Merryl Streep.

Synopsis:

Max Webster is working as an investment banker in London, making huge amounts of money that support a lifestyle of clubs, bars and one night stands, until his boss and mentor commits fraud on a huge scale. Max is implicated, despite knowing nothing. He loses his job and not a single other bank in the city will touch him, meaning his career is effectively over and he’s rapidly going broke. Just when he thinks things can’t get worse, he is told that his sole relative, his estranged paternal grandmother has died and left him property in Brighton.

With nothing better to do and hopes that the property is worth something, Max heads to Brighton to tie up his grandmother’s affairs, dreading his time outside the capital and increasingly depressed about life. Upon arrival he meets Poppy Fletcher, his grandmother’s lawyer who was the one who contacted him about his grandmother’s death. 

Max discovers that his grandmother was the proud owner of the “Worst Wax Museum in Britain”: The House of Wax. Only a handful of the wax statues look like who they’re supposed to be and the rest are like someone sculpted celebrities that they’d never seen. The museum is barely making enough to keep it afloat. He begins to make plans to sell the museum and at least make enough to pay off his Grandmother’s debts. Enter Cooper Farnsworth, rich American businessman, on the run from the Mafia after a dodgy deal went wrong. He desperately needs to make money fast.

But Max finds out that his inheritance is rather unusual in a number of ways...

For starters, there aren’t many wax museums where Meryl Streep hands out advice and enjoys watching the footy on the night watchman’s TV when the punters have gone home for the night. But it isn’t just Meryl, all of the waxworks come to life thanks to an old book of magic that is powered by the signatures of the guests and the messages they leave. The less visitors there are, the less magic there is to keep the waxworks alive and things have been getting desperate lately until only a handful of the waxworks have the necessary magic to come to life.

The waxworks tell Max about how his grandmother desperately tried to bring in more people, but her failing health meant that everything fell apart. Max discovers how his grandmother loved the museum and also loved him, despite her outwardly cool demeanour. He had thought that she didn’t care that he left Brighton, but Amelia unearths the letters that his grandmother wanted to send but didn’t have an address to send them to.

Max realises that he can’t sell the wax museum after all, and he enlists Poppy’s help in finding a way to keep it going. In the process she also discovers the secret of the museum, and Max and Poppy discover that they’re falling for each other. Meanwhile Cooper is plotting to get Max out because the listed building is worth more than Max is aware, especially with some of the period features.

The finale has Cooper breaking into the museum to destroy the waxworks, but Steve, the night watchman sounds the alarm. Cooper accidentally starts a fire and there is a desperate fight to save everyone from melting. Max and Poppy rally everyone to deal with the fire, and Cooper is arrested for arson.

The publicity from the fire actually brings in more customers, Max updates the museum with new exhibits, deciding to focus more on local history and tell the stories of the people who live in Brighton. He’s cleared of any wrong doing at the bank and Poppy helps him sue for wrongful dismissal. He uses the payout to finance repairs to the museum and more and more waxworks come alive every night as the visitors pour in.

And Max never thinks about leaving again, because now he has a family, albeit one that includes Meryl Streep, Amelia Earhart and Margaret Thatcher but he doesn’t mind.

Max Webster (Matt Ryan): Max lost his parents when he was young and was raised by his paternal grandmother. The two did not get on and he left home as soon as he could for university and then the big city. He always had a love of risk taking and wanted to be rich, so he studied finance and got a job in banking. He spends his time closing deals in a highly stressful job during the day and then out on the town in the evening. He has very few friends, all of whom are from work, and he very rarely sleeps with the same woman twice. He has a very shallow outlook on life and everything is about money.

His life is changed by inheriting the House of Wax and discovering that his memories of his grandmother are flawed and desperately inaccurate. He deals with the unusual House of Wax that his grandmother created and his grief at her passing. He comes to realise that not everything in life is about the next deal or how much money can be made.

Poppy Fletcher (Elizabeth Henstridge): Poppy is a lawyer and is responsible for executing Max’s grandmother’s will. She’s the one who hand Max the keys to the House of Wax and sees the look of disappointment on his face. She is very efficient and competent, loves the town she lives in and knows everyone on her street. She mourns the loss of Max’s grandmother, and has no idea that she was anything but the eccentric, elderly owner of the House of Wax. She doesn’t like Max at first because of his attitude to his grandmother and his version of her doesn’t seem to be the same as the woman she knew.

She ends up spending a lot of time with Max as the property sale becomes more difficult and after a while, she realises that he’s not at all the image that he projects. She starts helping him to get back on his feet and renovate the museum. Then she discovers about the magic book and she realises that she can’t let Max deal with the situation on his own.

Florence Nightingale (April Bowlby): Florence doesn’t look like the picture that hangs next to her in the slightest. Even her period dress is somewhat suspect. She prefers to wear much more recent clothes and is doing online first aid courses at night. She’s slightly haughty and thinks she knows best.

She can see that Max is depressed and grieving when he arrives. She’s one of the driving forces behind getting Max to take better care of himself and to talk about how he feels. Once the museum is safe, she works at becoming qualified as a therapist and sees patients online, writing an agony aunt column for the local paper.

Amelia Earhart (Ellen Page): She likes to pretend that she’s actually the pilot that she was sculpted to be. She’s very much her own person though, feisty and fun loving. She has no idea how to fly a plane, but has a flight simulator that Max’s grandmother gave her and is a computer game ace. She has the high score and no one can beat her.

She is the first waxwork that Max discovers is alive and persuades him that he isn’t hallucinating. She takes him to see the others when she realises that he’s the grandson of the previous owner.

She ends the film playing games in esports tournaments and winning, much to the amusement and delight of her fellow waxworks.

Steve (Taika Waititi): The night watchman of the House of Wax. He’s always known as Steve and no one knows his full name. He never really seems to go home, he’s just there. Max is very confused by him at first, but eventually realises that he’s another waxwork. He was one of the first created and no one is ever sure who he was supposed to be, at the end of the film it’s discovered that he’s supposed to be Genghis Khan, but like most of the other waxworks he bears no resemblance to his original. He is quite protective of the museum though.

Cooper Farnsworth (Woody Harrelson): An American property developer who is interested in buying the House of Wax and turning it into flats. He moved to the UK, to get away from some people who didn’t like him much (actually he double crossed the Mafia). He gets increasingly desperate to buy the House of Wax when some of his former business partners catch up with him, threatening Max and Poppy if they don’t sell up, but he never finds out the real secret of the museum. He thinks he’s hallucinating when he sees the waxworks move and fight back during the finale. He’s dragged away shouting about moving statues and charged with arson.

Meryl Streep (herself): She is modelled after the three time Oscar winning actress and is the only waxwork who looks like she is supposed to. She’s something of a leader of the group, checking in with everyone to make sure that they’re doing okay. She’s concerned about the fading magic and trying to keep everyone’s spirits up. She offers very good advice to Max about how to run the museum, most of which Max ignores to begin with because he thinks he knows better. Later we see her taking on the museum accounts and running the financial side of the museum with Max listening carefully to her. He may have been a banker but those skills are very little use when it comes to book keeping.

Additional actors:

Arthur Darvill as David Bowie - Can actually sing, sounds nothing like David Bowie. Wants to be Major Tom and follows NASA on Twitter. Tom Ellis as Paul McCartney - Can also sing and taught himself to play the piano. Duets with Bowie to entertain the rest of the group. John Boyega as Frank Bruno - Hates punching people, is a total softy. Ryan Reynolds as Salvador Dali - He once tried painting and decided never to do so again. He prefers reading and writes poetry. Eccentric. Celia Imrie as Queen Victoria - Knows everything that there is about Queen Victoria. She misses Albert who hasn’t woken up for a while now due to lack of magic.

[h50europe]

(2010) lovely insight on the show's early days and Scott's special bond with Alex around that time. Great read!

Scott Caan Hangs Loose on Hawaii Five-0 

Scott Caan, who plays investigator Danny "Danno" Williams, that cocky, huggable bulldog you see strutting his stuff each week on Hawaii Five-0, is not so different from his character. Both have been struggling to adjust to a new island home (Danny's left New Jersey to be closer to his daughter, while Caan jets back to L.A. every chance he gets to visit with his girlfriend). Both live in the shadow of a larger-than-life presence (Danny's superior, former Navy SEAL Steve McGarrett, and Caan's real-life pops, Oscar nominee James Caan). And both are all about the work, with little patience for frivolity.

For example, Caan has been asked to shoot a CBS promo out on the terrace of a Waikiki hotel between takes — and he doesn't even attempt to feign enthusiasm.

"Be here. Aloha," he mutters three times, with nary a smile and a serious I-don't-give-a-crap attitude.

Looking on a few feet away with devilish delight: costar Alex O'Loughlin, who senses his pal's discomfort and shouts, "Smile!"

"B--- me," Caan hollers back.

"C'mon, you have a great smile," O'Loughlin teases.

This off-camera frat-boy banter is finding a place on screen, too, making O'Loughlin's straight-arrow McGarrett and his sarcastic hothead sidekick the most buzzed about partnership of the new season.

"We both lucked out," says O'Loughlin, who has been receiving on-set chess lessons from Caan. "We really bounce off each other, and as we get closer, we can just shoot each other a look, which adds a lot to our relationship on screen."

While O'Loughlin has been slowly emerging as a TV fan favorite for the past few seasons, Caan has remained pretty much under the radar since the late '90s as a dependable supporting player in film (the Ocean's Eleven franchise) and TV (he'll return to shoot Entourage's final season during his summer hiatus). But it's Hawaii Five-0 that's making this recognizable tough guy a bankable name, which is why CBS believes viewers will tune in if Caan tells them to "Be here" — even if he personally finds the spots moronic. "I don't know how to be a cornball, and this is a cornball thing," says Caan after wrapping the promos. "I will never, ever settle into something that I think is fake."

"Scott's very real and wears his heart on his sleeve," explains the show's executive producer, Peter Lenkov. "There's not a dishonest bone in his body."

True, ask Caan a question and you'll get an honest answer — like how he feels about being part of the newest jewel on CBS' lucrative crown of procedural dramas. "If I'd been presented with just a straight procedural, I would have said, 'No, thank you,'" he says. "The procedural stuff is not the most fun to do, so to get through it, Alex and I have to bust each other's b---s and try to find ways to do the scene. The character stuff is what I want to do."

Fortunately for Caan, upcoming character-driven episodes will showcase the actor's as-yet-unseen emotional side. In tonight's episode, the body of Danny's former partner turns up in a luau barbecue pit. Later this season, Danny helps McGarrett as he faces a painful betrayal. And we'll finally meet Danny's ex-wife, Rachel (Aussie actress Claire Van Der Boom), whose bedroom will be the scene of a stakeout.

Seeing Caan work his dramatic chops has proven particularly entertaining to his costar. "Scott is just as interesting to watch dramatically as he is comedically," says O'Loughlin, impressed by what he calls his pal's "deep reservoir of emotions."

Even Caan's famous father has become a fan. "He's told me, 'I really like what you're doing and I'm proud of you,'" says Caan. "And my dad's the kind of guy who'd come to a play I wrote and say, 'That sucks!' The truth is, Hawaii Five-0 is better than a lot of movies I've been in. If I can make a ton of money doing something I love and get to a place where I'm doing movies I want to do, then what could be better than that?"

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 8: Sweet 25

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Be My Only)

…in which Y/N feels alone at Harry’s birthday party.

Warning: angst that took a slightly unexpected turn, jealous passive-aggressive Harry.

Word count: 8k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Chapter 7: Behind The Scenes - Movies and actors aren’t what they appear to be.

Wattpad link

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"Look what I've got!"

Harry flopped down on the treehouse floor and proudly showed his little neighbor the silver signet ring on his left hand. Though it just remotely fit his thumb, Y/N thought it made him look so cool, like an adult. Besides, it was the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen, much more beautiful than her parents' wedding bands.

"My dad gave it to me for my birthday," he said smugly, pulled it off his finger and showed her the word STYLES engraved on the inside.

"It's so shiny!"

"Of course it is! It's silver!" The thirteen-year-old chuckled as he put the ring back on.

Y/N paused for a second. "Wait, your dad came back?"

"No." Harry shook his head. "He mailed the ring to my house."

Though he acted like it was no big deal, Y/N knew he was disappointed. She personally wouldn't want the mailman to deliver her birthday present from someone she loved. But of course, she wasn't going to make that comment.

"That's great!" the girl exclaimed to lighten the mood. "It means you have your dad's address now, you can exchange letters with him!"

"Nah, mum won't give me his address. I'm surprised she let me keep the ring." He gave her a shrug, frowning a little.

"Don't be sad," she told him. "At least he loves you and still thinks of you."

"Yeah, I guess," he said, this time the corners of his mouth turned up.

"And tomorrow is your birthday! Let's throw a party here! I'll decorate this treehouse and ask my mum to bake you some cookies—"

Harry cut her off, "actually, my mum's gonna throw me a party."

"Oh..." With that, her face fell. She fidgeted with her pigtails and thought for a second before glancing back up to meet his eyes. "I suppose you've already invited lots of people?"

"Yeah."

That answer made the little girl sad. She'd almost forgotten that Harry was a popular kid who had plenty of friends. Meanwhile, she only had two, him and Celine. That explained why she'd spent her tenth birthday with just the two of them. Harry's birthday, however, would probably be massive and exciting. Too bad she would not be a part of it.

"What's wrong, Bambi?" He gave her a grin and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's all right, you're also invited. In fact, your name is first on the list."

"But your friends are all older than me." She pouted. "I won't be able to talk to anyone at your party."

"Well, it's my party. You can talk to me."

Y/N crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at the boy. "You sure you're gonna talk to me the entire time and ignore the other guests?"

As much as he wanted to, he couldn't promise her that. So he exhaled and plastered a beam on his face. "Okay, how's this? Let's celebrate my birthday today with just you and me. The party tomorrow is for everyone, you can also come if you change your mind. But today, you're my one and only guest."

"Really?" The way Y/N's face lit up made Harry's grin grow twice bigger.

He nodded quickly. "You take care of the food and I'll go buy some decorations. We'll meet back here at three?"

"Deal!" she said happily, gave him a fist bump and ran back to the rope ladder.

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Ever since they got together, Harry had spent more time at Y/N's place than his London house. Though she refused to let him help pay the rent (by help, he probably meant him paying it all for her), she loved to think that they were sharing a flat. What could be more special than going home after a long day at the bookstore just to cuddle him, and rant about her day so he could rant about his? They would do boring couple things like cook together, order in, watch lame movies, sometimes his (lame) movies, and have a lot of sex. Life was great.

Tonight, she was reading when he emerged at her bedroom door after finishing washing the dishes. She didn't look at first, but he was just idling there instead of coming bed, leaving her no choice but to give him some attention.

"I'm in the middle of an important scene now, so if you're gonna do a striptease, please do it fast."

"What's the point of doing a striptease if you do it fast?" He chuckled and leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. "Don't mind me, I'm just admiring your beauty from afar."

"Great, keep doing that, my narcissistic ass loves it." She grinned and turned her eyes back on the page.

"They got together yet?" He asked.

"No." She shrugged. "They've only kissed. But I've read too many books like this so I can totally guess what happens next."

"Yeah? Tell me," he said with a lopsided grin. "I'm intrigued."

His weird emphasis on the word cracked her up. Harry successfully caught the pillow she threw at him and then jumped right on top of her, squeezing her with the tightest hug. She let him nuzzle her neck like a kitten and went on, "so...my guess is that he'll do something stupid in the next chapter, she'll get hurt, and he'll realize what an idiot he is, so he'll do something romantic to win her back. But a good story doesn't just stop there."

"Wow, tell me more." He lied on his stomach and rested his chin on his knuckles, like a child listening to bedtime stories.

Y/N cleared her throat, trying to be serious. "Okay so, the antagonist will try to sabotage their relationship. It could be a bitter ex or strict parents that don't support them. But of course, those people all fail, and the couple will soon realize how much they love each other, then and only then will they have their happy ending."

Harry cackled as he sat up and kissed her lips. "What's the point of reading if you can already guess what's gonna happen?"

"What matters is how it happens, silly." She snorted and closed her book. "Now, where's my striptease?"

"Why should I give you a striptease when tomorrow's my birthday?"

"Tomorrow's your birthday?!" She faked a dramatic gasp but did not get the reaction she wanted from him.

"Nice try." He chuckled. "There's no way you forgot my birthday."

"I did though."

"Oh yeah?" Holding her by the hips, he guided her to straddle his lap and pulled down the spaghetti straps of her top, so he could spread his kisses across her chest. She tossed her head back, her lips parted to release the heavenly sensual sound of his name. Just the sight of her going weak for him had got him all riled up. "I was gonna tell you not to get me anything." His voice was dangerously low. "But thank God you don't remember my birthday."

She pulled away, her face contorted. "Wait, why can't I get you a birthday present?"

"Because all I need is right here." He tickled her sides, and she collapsed on his chest, laughing so hard that her eyes watered.

"Stop it, asshole!" she shouted when he stopped the torture. As his hands fell back to her thighs, she held his face between her palms. "But seriously, why? We used to always get each other birthday presents."

"I know you, Bambi. You'd overspend on my birthday because you think you should get me something expensive."

"First of all, I don't think so. Second, I already got you something, and it's not expensive at all."

"Really?" He stroked her hair. "What is it? Show me now?"

"I'll show you tomorrow night."

"Ooooh, did you buy new sexy lingerie for me?" He snuck one hand under her nightgown to squeeze her ass, but she seized his wrist before he made another move.

"Nope, it's better." To his disappointment, she placed his hand on her hip instead. "You'll be so happy you'll burst into tears, baby."

"Aww, I'm already overjoyed," he said, pulling her down, her head was on his chest. He stroked his hand steadily up and down her back, meanwhile rearranging his thoughts and making room for a bit of silence before he spoke again. "You're not throwing me a surprise party, are you?"

Her eyelids shot up when she heard the question. "No," she lied.

"Good." Harry nodded, still staring at the ceiling. "Because I want you to come with me to the party at Jeff's house tomorrow night."

"Your manager's throwing you a birthday party?"

"Kind of."

Shit.

"I told him not to, but he insisted on doing it. He and the cast and crew of the movie I'm working on had been planning it for weeks." He combed his fingers through his hair and blew up his cheeks. "I'm actually nervous. I've been told many important people are on the guest list."

Y/N propped her head up, her nose crinkled. "I bet this is Ruby's idea."

"Why do you hate Ruby so much?" he asked, sounding amused. "I know she wasn't so nice to you when you met her at my place, but that was mainly my fault, love."

His oblivion was really bugging her. She almost blurted out that Ruby had shown up at her place and offered her money to break up with him. But at the same time, she didn't want him to know that. He still had to play Ruby's love interest in this new film. Y/N didn't know much about acting, but she knew actors needed to get along in real life to deliver great chemistry in romantic scenes. The last thing she wanted was to create tension between him and his co-star that would affect his performance.

Immediately, she shrugged off the thought and pursed her lips. "Fine. I'm sorry I'm so bitter that I dislike your ex."

"Hey, I didn't mean that." He held her hips down when she attempted to get off his lap. "I love you, you know I do. I just don't want you to think about my past with her all the time. It means nothing to me now. You, on the other, mean everything. That's why I want you to go to this party with me. I need your support." He could see it in her eyes that she was a bit reluctant, so he continued, "You said you were curious about my life as an actor, right? This could be a fun experience for you. And you might meet an actor or actress that you like there."

A part of Y/N was still unsure, but how could she say no when he was giving her those puppy dog eyes?

"Okay, fine." She gave in. "But I'll wear my clothes and drive there on my own. Do not spend your money on me."

"Deal!" he gleefully said and pressed a kiss to her lips.

.

.

.

Y/N returned to the treehouse at 3 PM, only find her friend sitting in the corner with his head on his arms. Harry heard her footsteps and looked up, his smile was turned upside down. He looked like he was going to cry, and Y/N had never seen Harry cry before, so she didn't know what to do. Swallowing hard, she took quiet steps toward the boy and sat down right by his side. The happy and fun birthday decorations were the opposite of the gloominess cast upon the two kids.

"W-what happened?" she asked.

Harry let out the longest sigh before he spoke, "I lost the ring."

It was only then that she noticed his empty thumb where his father's ring had been. She waited for him to start crying, but he didn't, even though his lips were quivering and his eyes were glossy. Y/N had always thought wanting to cry but not being able to was the worst kind of self-torture. She knew that, because during many fights with her dad, her mother had held back her tears to the point where agony was etched on her face.

"Hey, it's alright." Y/N patted his arm gently. "You might've dropped it somewhere. When was the last time you had it?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, holding his head and thinking for a long moment until he was calm enough to remember. "I guess...it was an hour ago, maybe? I ran to the store to buy some candles."

The girl stood up right away and offered him her tiny hand. "Come on," she said. "Let's go search for your ring!"

.

.

.

Though Y/N hated inconsequent polite conversations and the awful mixture of expensive perfume that gave her a headache, she had to say that this party had exceeded her expectations. Everything here screamed rich. Most of the guests were A-list celebrities. There were people serving canapes, wine, and expensive cocktails. And they were playing her favorite songs (she assumed her boyfriend might have had something to do with this). Harry's manager Jeff had really outdone himself this time.

Before arriving, Y/N had thought only Harry's friends had been invited. But it seemed like Jeff had made sure all the big names in the film industry in London were there tonight. She recognized most of these people and she didn't watch that many movies. Maybe she should have gone out to buy the most expensive dress she could afford, and not shown up in this lame long sleeve bodycon dress that made her look like the cheapest walking being in the room. If Celine had been there, she would've screamed at her to go change. But maybe Celine would've got distracted, freaked out and fainted the second she saw her favorite actor, Cohen Guard drinking champagne with top model Jacelyn Fox. They would've made fun of these rich people together while fangirling about them. It would've been so great.

But Celine wasn't there. And Y/N was all alone.

She knew she shouldn't look down in the dumps at her boyfriend's birthday party, but how she acted and what she thought wouldn't make any difference. Nobody paid attention to her, anyway. She'd come here alone and had only spoken a few words to her boyfriend before Jeff stole him from her. The manager didn't even bother to wonder who she was, or why she'd been invited. She didn't matter to anyone here except for Harry.

So she'd found her place in the corner of the room, watching her boyfriend talking to a director Jeff had introduced him to. He looked nervous and kept glancing back to where she stood, probably to get some emotional support and make sure she was all right. She had to put on a beam whenever he stared, but the second he turned away, she went back to looking miserable. Y/N was completely alienated at this party.

"Y/N!"

Her heart leaped in joy the second she spotted Niall waving at her with a massive grin on his face. My savior, she thought to herself and immediately went in for a hug.

"You came!" Niall said. "Harold was afraid you'd change your mind."

"Nah, I didn't want to let him down," she said and took another sip of champagne.

"Where's Harold?"

"He's over there with Jeff and some directors."

Niall's eyes followed where Y/N's finger was pointing at, and he didn't comment anything else. He probably knew it was a duty for people like Harry to meet new people at parties like these, but at the same time, felt bad because Y/N was abandoned. So he quickly changed the subject by complimenting her dress. She didn't know if that was even half the truth, but it certainly made her feel less self-conscious now.

They spoke for a while until she noticed that Niall had been eye-flirting with a blonde from across the room. It seemed like he wanted to go over there and start a conversation, but didn't want to leave Y/N on her own. As much as she wanted to be selfish and keep him here with her, she ended up telling him to go talk to that girl.

"Are you sure you'll be fine here?" He raised an eyebrow in concern, making her laugh.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Like one hundred percent sure or ninety percent?"

"One hundred." She rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder. "Go! Before she finds someone else."

"Okay." Niall gulped down his drink and put the empty glass back on the table next to him. "But don't worry," he told her, "Harold's coming."

Y/N looked up as Niall left and saw that her boyfriend was indeed making his way here. Harry stopped in front of her and leaned in, but then remembered just in time to kiss her on the cheek and not her lips like he'd intended to.

"Sorry I took too long." He pulled away, keeping his hands behind his back. "Was Niall bothering you?"

She grinned and shook her head. "No, he was actually keeping me entertained with his jokes."

"Are you bored?"

"Not at all."

He gave her a half-smile. "Okay, now you're just being sarcastic."

"You gotta love me for who I am, mister," said Y/N as she playfully poked his chest.

Harry eyed her from head to toes. She could already guess what he was thinking about when he wetted his lip and took a deep breath. "I really want to ruin your lipstick right now," he said in hushed tones. "That dress looks so fucking good on you."

"How about we sneak out of here and you can ruin more than just my lipstick?" She stepped forward, not breaking their eye contact. The look on his face was priceless. He had his mouth and eyes wide open, trying to appear as composed as he could, but she knew his heart was racing.

"We can't, love," he said at last.

Though dismayed, she couldn't blame him for not wanting to risk it. They shouldn't even be talking to each other right now.

"But...but...I can show you around," he added. "Jeff's got a huge house and—Have you checked out the sushi bar? There's a sushi bar."

"Yeah, I ate so much that so many people were staring and I had to leave," she said, chuckling slightly.

Harry hesitated, and yet he couldn't help but stroke her cheek with his thumb before tucking a black strand behind her ear. "I'll make it up to you after this party, I promise."

"I'm looking forward to it." She pressed her lips into a smirk. "So...why don't you show me around?"

"Okay, come—"

"Harry!" Jeff pushed his way through a group of people and clutched Harry's arm as his whole face lit up "Director Garrett Spielmann is here! I sent the invitation to him for fun and he actually came!"

"Oh God, that's great, uhm...but..." Harry paused to look back at his girlfriend. "Can you keep him busy for a moment?"

"Are you insane?!" Jeff cried out. He was too hyped to notice the girl standing behind his client, so he went on, tugging at Harry's arm. "That man directs only Academy Award-winning films and works with only potential Academy Award-winning actors! Please don't let me down!"

"But—"

"No!"

"Jeffrey!" Harry groaned like a little boy but Jeff refused to listen. He dragged his best client by the arm toward the white-haired man standing in the middle of the room. Y/N gave her boyfriend two thumbs up to let him know she was fine, still, he looked extremely guilty.

"I'm sorry and I love you," he mouthed at her. To be honest, that was all she needed to hear at the moment.

Now alone again, Y/N decided to go explore the house on her own. It was actually great to be a nobody because no one there came up to talk to her; they let her wander freely like a ghost among the living. After walking around until her legs were tired, she had found a bathroom. She didn't really need to go, she simply wanted to get away from the party just for a little while. The bathroom sounded like a great idea for that. In fact, it took her back to her prom night, when she'd spent most of the time making out with her boyfriend in a stall instead of dancing. The bathroom could be a great place if you wanted it to be.

Having been to Harry's and Isaac's house many times before, Y/N already had an idea of what rich people's bathrooms looked like. So she wasn't exactly surprised to see the one at Jeff's. It was similar, scrupulously clean with gleaming granite countertops, walnut framed mirrors, and fragrant fluffy towels carefully folded on a chair. Could she just stay here while waiting for Harry? It would surely be better than going back out there.

However, once she'd finished reapplying her makeup, she heard some voices and footsteps down the hall. They got louder as the people came closer, and then sauntered in two twins who looked and dressed like supermodels. It was Ruby who walked right behind them. Y/N guessed they had just arrived because she hadn't seen them until now.

The twins didn't pay much attention to her, though she'd noticed the way they had sized her up when they entered. Ruby, on the other hand, gave her a long hard glare as she walked past. Y/N didn't want to start an unwanted conversation here, so she had to leave quietly.

As she had just walked out of the door, the girls thought she was gone, so they began talking.

"Hey, Rubes, who's that girl?" one of the twins spoke with the most annoying high-pitched voice Y/N had ever heard. As much as she hated to eavesdrop, the conversation was about her, and she had to know how mean they were going to be. So she stood by the bathroom entrance with her back against the wall, listening to everything they had to say.

"I saw her laughing with Harry earlier," the same twin continued. "Do they know each other or something?"

"Is she his new assistant?" the other one joined in.

"Nope," Ruby said with a calm yet mocking tone. Her laugh echoed in the room. "She's here to serve drinks."

This bitch!

"They seemed like close friends to me," twin number one said.

"Oh, please." Ruby scoffed. "Harry is nice to everyone who works for him."

"But have you seen her dress?" Twin number two scoffed as she commented, "I mean, girl, are you at a birthday party or a funeral? I feel so sorry for her if she thinks she can fit in looking like that."

Y/N clenched her fists and bit so hard on her bottom lip that it turned white. If this was secondary school, she would've confronted those ladies like she'd done to the mean girls back then. But now she was an adult, a guest at an exclusive party, her boyfriend's birthday party. She knew better than to cause a scene and draw any attention to herself.

So she took a deep breath, held onto her rage and got out of there. That was when she bumped into Isaac.

"Hey, lady, watch where you're going!" he said with a beam but she was too upset to return one.

"Thank God you're here," she said. "I was about to lose it and bitch slap Ruby in the bathroom. Fuck, that bitch!"

Isaac blanched as soon as he heard. "Wait, what happened? Where's H?"

"Talking to Garrett Spielmann over there."

Isaac turned his head so fast it could've fallen off and he wouldn't have cared. "The Garrett Spielmann?" His blue eyes brightened. "The director of Vendetta Of Retreat, the best movie of all time?!"

"Jesus, calm down, you movie nerd." She gave his shoulder a nudge. "Well, he's busy speaking to Harry, so maybe wait a bit before you rush in to ask for a photograph."

"If I do fangirl too hard, please stop me," Isaac pulled a silly face that made her shriek with laughter.

Ruby and the twins had finally entered the room. All eyes were on them when they ambled in like models on a runway. They didn't pay attention to anyone, so Y/N assumed they probably didn't see her now that she'd blended right into the background, where she should be. She watched the actress kiss the twins goodbye and make her way to Harry. Everything she did pissed Y/N off, even the way she hugged Harry and held him for much longer than she did the others.

"Bitch," Y/N muttered, thinking Isaac didn't hear it. But he did, and he burst out laughing.

"So you've talked to the Declan twins?" he asked, pointing to those girls.

"No, but they sure had a lot to say about me. All awful things."

"Don't mind them. Their father is a millionaire and they think they're the British Kendall and Kylie Jenner."

His comment made her snort. "They are as bratty as those Kardashian girls, so that's actually correct."

The pair shared a good laugh at her comment and then Isaac added, "love your dress by the way."

"Many of the guests here would disagree, but thank you," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I personally love it. But your outfit's still missing something."

"Of course it—What are you doing?" Y/N widened her eyes when the man took a step closer. Not saying a word, he pressed two fingers to the corners of her mouth and pushed them up.

"There ya go," he said with amusement as she pushed his hands away, smiling this time.

"You're a nerd," she said.

"And you, little lady, is a bully."

.

.

.

The kids couldn't find the ring.

They had searched everywhere on the road from their houses to the store and they had asked everyone they knew. Nobody had seen the ring. Or maybe someone had, and they'd kept it for themselves. So Y/N and Harry returned home empty-handed and Y/N blamed herself for everything. As soon as they'd entered their treehouse, the little girl burst into tears.

"Hey, kid, what...what's wrong?" Harry gripped her trembling shoulders and crouched down so their faces were at the same level. "Hey, don't cry. It's not your fault."

"If it hadn't been for m-me...and...and this two-person party, maybe...maybe you would still have your r-ring," she said while sobbing into her small palms.

Harry's brain stuttered for a moment, he always panicked when his Bambi cry. Her tears had power over him, and he was still trying to figure out how to deal with them. Carefully, he held her little face and stroked her head, telling her to calm down.

"It's not your fault, Bambi. I was careless, and the ring was too big for me so it fell out. None of this is your fault. You've been nothing but a good girl."

It was funny how he hadn't thought of that when he lost the ring. He had been too upset about losing it that the reason why didn't matter. Only when he saw Y/N's tears did it occur to him that, if not today then sooner or later he would've lost that ring, anyway. You could never keep something that wasn't meant to be yours.

He took the girl's hands and pulled her down on the floor with him. They were sitting face to face, their fingers intertwined on his lap. Quietly, he watched her sniffle for a moment, and then she stopped crying.

"Maybe..." She freed one hand from his to wipe her wet cheeks. "Maybe your dad will understand if you tell him what you just told me."

His face went blank at once. "I-I don't think...uhm..." he stuttered, biting his lip. "I don't think he needs to know."

"Of course he does!" she cried out. "He gave it to you for your birthday."

"He didn't."

"What?"

Y/N gave him this innocent look that made his heart ache, for he knew he was a terrible person for lying to her. With his head hung low to avoid her big questioning eyes, Harry admitted, "he didn't give the ring to me. I-I found it in my mum's closet. She told me it used to be his and let me keep it."

Slowly, he looked up, expecting her to get angry. After all, he'd made her think it'd been her fault that he'd lost his father's gift. But Y/N only asked, "why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

The girl didn't sound querulous but rather perplexed and concerned. She didn't understand why he felt the need to lie, especially to her. Should she always be an exception?

A line appeared between his brows as he began to fidget with the buttons on his shirt. Embarrassed, he said, "because my dad...has never sent me a birthday present before. Maybe he doesn't even remember I exist, let alone my birthday. But I wished that he did, so I lied about him sending me the ring. I thought that...if you believed the story, I would too, and it'd become the truth."

The boy eventually looked up with sad eyes that made him look like a criminal who'd just pleaded guilty. However, the look his sweet little neighbor was giving him didn't make him feel that way. She didn't say a word and got on her knees to wrap her short arms around his torso. He was frozen for a second, but eventually relaxed to accept the hug, thinking it was one of the best gifts he'd ever received on his birthday.

.

.

.

Harry had been watching his girlfriend and best friend for long enough to feel uncomfortable. He didn't care what Isaac had told him. He knew Isaac's feelings for Y/N couldn't have just vanished overnight. Maybe Isaac still loved her. Maybe he wanted to prove that she was wrong to choose Harry. Maybe he was waiting for an opportunity to win her back. Maybe that opportunity was tonight.

Stop, said the voice inside Harry's head, he was over-analyzing the situation again. Still, it was frustrating to see her so happy with Isaac.

"Harry is made for that role! He's perfect! Aren't you, H?"

"Huh?" The actor blinked rapidly. Only now did he realize everyone was staring, and he felt like a fool for not knowing what it was about.

"Garrett's new movie," Ruby reminded him. "I said you should audition for the role of the space soldier."

"Oh, no, I'm not—"

"He's so humble," she cut him off, giving his shoulder a subtle squeeze to say he should leave this to her. The truth was, he wished he could leave everything to her and go be with his girlfriend right now.

"It's good to be humble sometimes, but don't underestimate yourself," said Garett, who had been greatly entertained by Harry's laid-back attitude and Ruby's energy. He flicked his fingers between the two of them. "You could be perfect for the roles of the lovers."

"Well, I don't know about me, but Harry is the perfect choice." Ruby nudged him, making the few other guests standing there 'aww' at once. But when she was sure nobody paid attention anymore, she leaned in to whisper in his ear, "you're acting like a sheep. Remember what I taught you."

Harry did remember her advice. He knew if he showed these people that he was any less than them, they would start seeing him that way too. However, it'd been hard to put on a great show knowing he'd left Y/N on her own for most of tonight. Now she was alone with Isaac, which didn't really help him feel any better.

When Harry glanced back to where those two had been just a minute ago, they were already gone. His eyes desperately searched for them from left to right, but they were nowhere to be seen in the room. Now he began to feel hot under the collar, almost like he was standing on fire.

"Excuse me."

The word slipped out of his mouth before he could think twice. He ignored Jeff saying his name, shrugged Ruby's hands off him, and muttered a sincere apology to the director he'd probably never get to speak to again. He needed to find his girl.

.

.

.

"And over here we have...the sushi bar!"

Isaac fell about as Y/N presented it to him like she was the owner of the place. "Are you sure this is the first time you've been here?"

She gave him a shrug. "I had nothing to do for the last two hours, so I walked around. But this could be my house in twenty years. Who knows?"

Smiling, she picked up a clean plate to get some sushi rolls for the two of them. He watched her hum in satisfaction as she ate one, and with a mouth full, asked him if he'd like to try.

"No, I—"

"Come on, open your mouth."

He pretended to look annoyed but still opened his mouth so she could feed him the roll using chopsticks.

"Good?" she asked, and he nodded, making her giggle. "See? I told ya. This is the only good thing about this party, to be honest."

"Our surprise party would've been better." His comment made her beam fade away. As she said nothing else, he went on with a sigh, "I'm sorry you had to cancel it at the last minute. Did Harry know?"

"Nah, if he had, he would've asked Jeff to cancel this party." A corner of her mouth quirked up as she lifted her shoulders. "I didn't want him to put himself second on his birthday because of me."

"You think he would've done that?"

"Yeah. I know him," she asserted. "He's not enjoying this party at all. You can just see it in his eyes."

Isaac obviously couldn't. Nobody here could, except for her. Maybe it was her special talent, one she'd always taken pride of. She knew him better than everyone in this house. But unfortunately, they were the ones receiving his attention tonight.

"Well, hello Isaac."

When Y/N heard that scratchy voice, she didn't have to turn around to know it was one of the twins from earlier. She could never get that obnoxious high-pitched tone out of her head. As she turned around, the girl shoved an empty glass into her hands.

"Get me some more champagne," said twin number one, who had a slightly higher voice than her sister.

Y/N pushed the glass back to the girl. With a hostile glare, she said, "I don't work here. You have arms and legs, do it yourself."

The girl raised an eyebrow and puckered up her lips. "Are you sure you don't work here?"

"Hey, that's enough, Emma."

"Oh, you're hanging with the party staff now, Isaac?" twin number two said as she stepped forward to back up her sister. Y/N almost told him to leave it to her to handle these bitches, but he didn't even give her a chance to try.

"She's my girlfriend. Speak to her like that again and I'll tell your father what you really did in Vegas."

The twins had their mouths hanging open but neither could make a sound, and Isaac didn't want to wait for them to speak. He grabbed a startled Y/N and pulled her with him, away from those girls, to an empty balcony and shut the glass doors to muffle the loud music and noisy conversations.

Just as he was about to say something, she interrupted him. "Why did you tell them I was your girlfriend?"

"I didn't...I didn't know what to say. I was angry that they said that to you." He breathed and shoved his fingers in his golden locks. "They both asked me out two years ago, and I turned them down. They're still bitter about it, apparently."

"They both asked you out?"

"Weird, right?" He snorted at the look on her face. "You okay, Smiley?"

"Yeah." She looked up to meet his eyes. "I would've kicked their asses had you not been there."

"Thank God I was there. You're one violent little girl."

"Who you calling a little girl?" She playfully hit his chest only for him to catch her wrists and hold them down. The two of them were dying of laughter when the door opened and Harry appeared.

"Bambi?" His voice stopped them at once.

Isaac let Y/N go, giving Harry a grin, but he didn't get the same attitude in return. The way Harry's eyebrows snapped together and his lips set in a hard line had said it all.

"I'll leave you two alone," said Isaac as he gave his best friend one last glance before leaving.

Once the door fell shut, Harry turned back to his girlfriend. Y/N didn't hold his gaze for more than a second. She turned her head to stare at the trees and fairy lights in Jeff's garden.

"I was looking everywhere for you," he spoke, his voice was low. "Are you mad at me?"

"No."

As she released a shaky breath, Harry expected her to continue. But what came next was silence. Terrifying, grim silence that made his bones ache and his heart sink. He took a step forward to stand by her side and refrained the need to reach for her hand. He knew any move he made was being watched. He was nothing more than a poor book character waiting for the readers to decide whether he was good or bad.

"What were you and Isaac talking about?" He asked, his eyebrows pulled together as he studied her reaction. He didn't have to say it, she knew what he was thinking.

"He was just keeping me company while you were busy with the other guests," she replied with a straight face.

"You know I can't spend all my time with you, Bambi," he said steadily. "People would get suspicious, that's how rumors start."

"I know. That's why I'm not blaming you."

"You were though."

"I wasn't!" She shot him a glare. "I just felt uncomfortable, so I came out here for some fresh air. Why's it a problem for you?!"

"Because you're clearly upset that I'm not spending enough time with you tonight and you won't admit it."

"No." She laughed wryly, shaking her head. "I'm upset because I don't feel welcome here. These snobby rich people look down on me, H. I know it's not your fault, but why are you trying to pin it on me?"

"Are you seriously doing this right now?" He breathed and quickly glanced at the door to make sure no one was looking at them. "You want to get to know me. Well, this is me, Bambi. I'm not just the boy you grew up with, I'm also an actor. And sadly, what those snobby rich people think of me matters. I don't like that, in fact, I hate that. But I still have to go through with it every day. So why can't you just be supportive?"

"If I weren't supportive, I wouldn't have come here, H." She stared at him in disappointment. "It's sad that you think I still need to get to know you. I've known you my whole life, and this isn't you. All you've been doing tonight is trying to please other people. You're not having fun on your birthday and these people are not your friends. They don't even care about you."

"I don't need them to care about me, I need them to accept me. That's the only way for me to mean something here."

"You are something to me," she softened her voice, but he let those words go over his head.

"It's easy for you to say because you're not one of us. Maybe you should've stayed home."

Fear crossed his face as he realized what he'd said. Abruptly, he reached for her hand, muttering a late apology only for her to push him away.

"I didn't mean it like that—"

"No, you were right," she cut him off. "I should've stayed home."

When she stormed off, Harry was paralyzed for a whole second. His mind was blurry until it suddenly hit him what this could mean for them. The last time she'd walked out on him, he'd lost her for a year, and could've lost her forever had it not been for that bloody storm. He couldn't lose her again, especially not on his birthday.

Terrified, he chased after Y/N, but she had blended right into the crowded room and disappeared like a ghost. Before he could make it to the exit, a hand pulled him back by his shoulder.

"Hey, there you are!" Ruby said, her eyebrows rose. "Come on, I—"

"Not now Rubes." He shrugged her off, only to bump into the Declan twins as he attempted to run.

"Hey, Rubes, that girl turns out to be Isaac's girlfriend. Why did you say she was here to serve drinks?! "

Ruby's eyes bulged out when Harry looked back at her, and now he finally realized what had happened when he wasn't there. Y/N had been upset for a reason which he'd been too oblivion and selfish to figure out.

"I can explain," Ruby blurted, but he stopped her before she could start.

"Please don't." He pulled away and then dashed toward the door.

.

.

.

"Wait!" Y/N shouted before Harry blew out the candle on his cupcake. She looked so serious with her eyebrows knitted together and her arms crossed. "Before you make your wish, I have to give you my present first."

"It's not how it works though." He scoffed. "It's always: blow the candle, make a wish, and then open presents."

"This is a special birthday so we don't play by the rules," said the little girl as she reached inside the back pocket of her jeans. "Close your eyes."

Smiling, Harry shut his eyes. He told her she shouldn't have bought him anything, and she replied by saying he talked too much. On the count to three, the girl told him to open his eyes.

"Ta-da!"

"A...ribbon?" The boy looked confused, but at the same time, amused by the birthday surprise she was holding in front of his face.

"Give me your hand." Y/N giggled. She didn't have to explain herself, because when she wrapped the pink ribbon around his thumb and tied both ends together into a nice little bow, he finally got the idea.

"Now you can tell everyone you got a ring on your birthday!" She blushed, chewing on her lip. "This was kind of a...last-minute idea. And you know, I don't have money to buy you a real one—"

"I love it!" He cut her off while admiring the 'ring' on his thumb. "It's beautiful."

Her eyes sparkled with joy as she clapped her hands and promised him, one day she would get him a real silver ring. He told her he couldn't wait until that day and finally blew out the candle.

"Do early birthday wishes come true?" He asked after having made his wish.

With her hands on her knees, she gave him a shrug. "We'll find out. But did you wish for your dad to come back or for you to find the ring?"

"I wish for us to always stay together."

Her reaction to his answer wasn't what he'd expected.

"Harry! Why would you say your wish out loud?!"

"Well, you asked me what it was." The boy chuckled at the horrified look on his little friend's face. "This is a special birthday, remember? It doesn't follow the rules of ordinary birthdays."

Harry's reassurance made Y/N sigh in relief. She pursed her lips, batting her eyelashes at him. "I hope you're right."

He knew he was right. They would always stay together. Because what would he do without his girl?

.

.

.

"Bambi, wait!" Harry burst right through the door and leaped down the steps with two strides to catch up with Y/N. She heard his voice and only walked faster toward her car, clutching the strap of her crossbody bag so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

"Go back inside, you're making a scene!" she shouted at him without slowing down, but Harry didn't give up. He pushed past the people who were trickling out of the house. Their indistinct voices were sizzling in his ears, but he brushed them off and tried to keep up with her pace.

"Baby, I'm sorry!"

"I don't wanna hear it!" She covered her ears like a child, striding ahead. Just as she was about to reach her car, however, he jumped right between her and the door, holding her arms so she wouldn't push him out of the way.

"I didn't mean what I said!"

"And I don't care," she grumbled, turning her head from left to right. Her face reddened as she realized there were people watching them fight in the driveway. Harry, on the other hand, was too delirious to care.

"Please, I'm sorry I said that to you." He held her face dearly so she would look at him instead of those strangers. "That was stupid, really stupid. I should've been there for you instead of him. It won't happen again."

"What are you doing? People are staring at us," she said between gritted teeth, but he wasn't listening.

"I love you, Bambi. I love you so much—"

Y/N covered his mouth with both hands, the color drained out of her face. While she was in shock that he'd screamed out those words, he was snickering into her palm.

"Are you fucking insane?!" She pushed him away. "Jesus Christ, how much did you drink? You're fucking craz—"

That sentence was left unfinished as he held her face and bent his head to kiss her deeply. His lips were soft, his mouth hot. His tongue thrust into her mouth as he turned them around and pinned her against her car. The next thing she knew, she was kissing him back, shoving her fingers in his tangled hair, moaning his name. They kissed like no one was watching. His hands worked their ways around her body, caressing her body that was made just for him. She was his girl, his one and only. He told himself that before pulling away, one hand on the glass window, the other holding her neck, their foreheads touching. They held each other's intense gaze for a long moment while panting and trembling.

Y/N had only read about the type of kisses that made your head spin and your heart stop, but with him, she could feel everything she'd thought didn't exist. It was always fireworks when they touched, and she could probably never get used to it.

"Why did you do that?" she asked quietly, her hands clenched fistfuls of his shirt.

He sucked in a shaky breath before closing his eyes. "Because you wouldn't hear me out."

"Well, you were rude to me. You hurt my feelings."

"I'm sorry. I was...I was going insane in there," he said, his eyelids fluttered. "I didn't like seeing you with Isaac, and I didn't like how I'd been distracted the whole night just thinking of you. I used to be...good at it you know, putting on a fake smile and parading around like I enjoyed every single moment. But tonight, I could only think about you. I worried that you might not like it, that you weren't happy, that after tonight you would change your mind about our relationship. I just...I hate that you're not like us, you're too good for our pretentious world. So if I'm not careful enough, I can lose you easily."

"I didn't...didn't know you felt that way." She pouted, slowly caressing his cheeks. "I'm sorry, maybe I should've been more understanding."

He shook his head. "No, it was my fault. I didn't realize some people had been awful to you."

"Did Isaac tell you?"

"No, one of the twins accidentally said it." He frowned. "Maybe both of us should've stayed home. I'm not a dick when I'm alone with you."

His remark about himself made her giggle. "I almost threw away my birthday present for you because you were a dick," she said and asked him to give her a moment.

Harry arched an eyebrow as he watched Y/N open her crossbody bag. Before he could say a word, she pulled out from a small pocket a silver signet ring.

"Got this from a thrift store. It's embarrassingly cheap, I promise." She smirked as shock transformed his face.

"Wait, is that..."

Y/N nodded. "I don't remember what your dad's ring looked like exactly, so I'm sorry if this one might look a bit different. I had the word BAMBI engraved instead of your last name. See?"

"Wow, you are narcissistic."

"Oh, shut up!"

Harry was beaming like an excited little boy when she took his left hand and put the piece of jewelry on his ring finger, which fit perfectly.

"Happy sweet twenty-five, my love," she said. "Now you can tell everyone this is the birthday present from someone who really loves you."

Too emotional to speak, Harry dragged his Bambi back into his arms and showered her face with gentle kisses. He repeatedly whispered into her ear how much she meant to him and how lucky he was to have her in his life. Though she already knew, her heart still bloated, filled with affection.

"People have seen us together." She nibbled on her bottom lip while observing his face.

"It's fine, don't worry." He kissed the tip of her nose. Despite what he'd said, the look in his eyes had failed to cover up his fear. "Whatever happens, you'll stay with me right?"

"Always." She pressed her lips against the curve of his jaw, her hands tightened on his hips.

[mitchiemoo]

Close Up-Part 1 (Johnny Joestar x Reader)

Summary: You are an upcoming, young actress, starring in your first major film. For publicity, the studio suggests you begin a relationship with your co-star, British thespian Diego Brando. Reluctantly, you agree, and soon find yourself at odds with Johnny Joestar, former Hollywood star. After losing his career and the use of his legs, Johnny offers to help you achieve fame but cautions the price. Is it really the fame you want? Or something else?

Warnings: Explicit language

Word Count: 3,539

“Darling, I promise I’ll return. When I do, I will be a true gentleman, one worthy of your affection.” Diego’s eyes gazed intently into your own as he raised your hands to his lips and kissed them.

You gasped and stepped back in shock. “Oh, sir,” you said. “You needn’t earn my affection, for I have already given it to you. If I am to be the wife of a tailor, then so be it. Please stay.”

Diego rose to his feet and gripped your hands tighter. “No, I must go. I shall better myself to provide the life you deserve. My father was a cruel man, who worked my poor mother into an early grave. The day he died, I resolved to never become a monster like him.” His voice shook with emotion and you could hear the desperation in his voice. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, right on cue.

“They shall wed me to another man before you return. Search your heart, you know it to be true. What shall you do with your fortune then?”

A shout came from off stage. “Elena! Jonah is looking for you.”

Panic crossed Diego’s face as you snatched your hands from his grasp and turned away. “I’m sorry, I must leave now. Goodbye, Dorian.”

“Wait!” He called after you as you rushed off stage.

“Cut!”

You breathed a sigh of relief as the lights dimmed and the bell rang. It was hot. Oppressively so. Especially in your costume. Sweat soaked the back of your neck and the under layers of your dress stuck to your skin. No wonder Victorian women were so prone to fainting spells. The late 19th century dress you wore was exquisite and you admired yourself in the mirror while wearing it many times. But the skirts were extremely heavy and restricted your movements.

It was a relief when you plopped down on one of the prop couches scattered around the set. The ornate fan your character used in an earlier scene laid discarded on the spot next to you. You opened it and desperately fanned yourself.

“Would you like some water, miss?” One of the stagehands offered. You nodded and wiped at your teary eyes absentmindedly before you remembered you were wearing make-up. Oops. The stylist would not be happy with you.

“Good read today.” You looked up.

Your co-star, Diego Brando, stood in front of you, looking extremely disinterested. He had shed the dark blue coat he wore in the scene and rolled up the sleeves of his plain white button down. It looked like he barely broke a sweat. “Although, you should try to look more devastated. At least you didn’t forget your lines today.”

If he said that to you at the beginning of filming, you would’ve been fighting back tears. Now, you simply brushed it off. Diego Brando was a world-famous actor. He had been classically trained at the Royal Shakespeare Academy and performed in several critically acclaimed plays before his debut on the silver screen at age 19. Compared to him, you were nothing. This was your first major role and the extent of your training was reading Shakespeare aloud for your family as a child.

“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.” You said through gritted teeth, picking at the intricate golden embroidery on your dress. The stagehand you sent to find water returned and you immediately began gulping it down.

You were surprised when he sat down beside you. He sighed and ran a hand through his golden blond hair.

“Look,” he started. “There’s a fundraiser tonight at one of the local art galleries and the studio wants us to go together, as a couple.”

You choked.

“Wh-what?” you managed to sputter out.

Diego rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too excited, alright? You’re not my type and frankly, I’m not attracted to you in the slightest.” He continued. “The producers and studio executives think this is a good way to get publicity for the film and help our, err, your career.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. Normally you would be insulted by Diego’s words but if working with him had taught you anything about him, it was his strong sense of pride. Nobody was good enough for Diego Brando, not even himself. Especially unknown, amateur actresses like you.

“How does going out in public with you help me, exactly?” You asked.

“Don’t sound so ungrateful, love. Thousands of other girls would kill to be in your position.” He spat and waved his hand dismissively. “We get photographed together, the press makes a fuss about ‘Diego Brando’s mystery girl’, who she is, where she’s from. The public wants to see more of our chemistry and go see the movie. The film’s a success, you’ll be named one of Hollywood’s most promising newcomers and a few months later, we quietly ‘separate.’”

You looked down at the ice in your glass, quietly mulling over Diego’s proposition. All you had to do was pretend to fawn all over him at award shows and fancy parties, where other famous actors and directors were, and your movie would draw crowds of people? It was too good to be true. The only downside you could think of was spending more time with Diego. Your lip curled in distaste.

“How long would this arrangement last?” You asked, tentatively.

“About six months.” He replied. “Like I said, everybody benefits. You get a handsome bachelor, I get free publicity, and the studio makes a bunch of money. Do we have a deal?” He extended his hand and smirked. You hesitated. Six months for a fruitful career and a lifetime of success? What could go wrong?

You shook his hand and were surprised by how firm his grip was. “Deal.”

“Smart move, darling.”

The bell rang again, signaling the end of the break. Diego stood up and offered you his hand again. You set the fan and empty glass aside and he pulled you up from your seat. “My driver and I will pick you up at 7. Dress code is black tie and please, don’t be late.”

He turned on his heel to walk back onto set. As you followed, you couldn’t ignore the growing sense of trepidation brewing in your heart. What could go wrong?

-

Shortly after filming ended that day, you took a cab back to your apartment and inspected your closet. Diego specified black tie, which meant a full-length evening gown, gloves, and jewelry. You had a few nice dresses from the department store, three of them full length. Sure, they wouldn’t be as elegant or glamorous as the Dior, Chanel, and Balenciaga gowns you’d see tonight but that just gave you something else to strive for. Maybe next time you would be the one wearing Chanel and turning heads.

You drew a cool bath and scrubbed your face and hair free of make-up and styling products. Of course, you were going to have to reapply them later but for the moment, you felt very refreshed.

Before you left the set that day, you asked your stylist to recommend some good salons in the area. Your hair and make-up skills were limited so you opted to have it professionally done. Diego made it sound like there would be photographers everywhere and you wanted to look your best.

The gravity of your situation didn’t really register until you were sitting in the stylist’s chair and staring at yourself in the mirror, that visceral moment when suddenly every blemish and flaw seemed magnified. Your stylist was a talkative lady with pink hair, but you were only half listening to what she was saying. This arrangement was only temporary, you reasoned, and then you would be free of him. But deep down, you knew you would never really be free of him.

For the next six months, you would be “Diego Brando’s girlfriend” and after you separated, you’d still be known as “that girl who dated Diego Brando” or “Diego Brando’s ex.” You came to Hollywood to make a name for yourself, to be admired for your work, to be remembered as something greater than “so-and-so’s ex.” When you left your hometown to become an actress, you knew the risks, but the rewards were better than any opportunity available there. You were patient, auditioning for minor roles at first and building up your resume until you decided to audition for a few major parts. Just when it seemed like your hard work was paying off, you made a deal with the devil, disguised as a charming British thespian.

“What do you think?” The girl chirped, breaking you out of your thoughts.

She definitely did a nice job. You barely recognized yourself. The make-up was tastefully done and not nearly as caked on as your usual “stage face.” She pinned your hair up in an elegant up do, which brought special attention to your face and kept the back of your neck cool. You nodded approvingly, tipped her well and headed back to your apartment to finish getting ready.

-

As promised, a limousine pulled up to the front of your building at exactly seven o’clock. It seemed Diego was a punctual man and you had to admit he looked handsome in his gray, three-piece Armani suit. He greeted you curtly when you slid into the back with him and then immediately started dictating how the night would go.

“So, when we pull up to the gallery, there will be a lot of cameras flashing, alright? I get out first, then I help you out, like the gentleman I am.” Diego eyed you in your pale blue dress like a jeweler appraising a gemstone. “You look decent enough, I suppose. I’ll buy you the dress next time although they won’t really be paying attention to you.”

You frowned. “Isn’t that the whole point of this?”

“Relax, love, you have six months to catch their attention.” He crooned. “Just think of this as acting experience. If you want to be as big a star as me someday, you’ll have to get used to the flashing lights, invasive questions, and lack of personal space.”

You looked out the tinted windows at the passing streetlights. You imagined them as eyes peering into the dark leather interior, prying into your innermost thoughts. If what Diego said was true, when you were famous and in the public eye, every move you made was picked apart by paparazzi, who descended like a kettle of vultures. One wrong move and you’d be vilified. If something that was meant to stay private leaked out, there would be an outcry of scandal that could, depending on what it was, jeopardize your whole career.

Another thought suddenly crossed your mind. “Diego,” you said. “Are you going to kiss me?”

He tensed beside you. “Err, probably not. The most I’d do is hold your hand or put my arm around you like this while we’re sitting.” You felt his arm snake around the back of the seat. “Even in my real relationships, I don’t care for too many public displays of affection. I don’t think it’s very professional, really.”

You nodded thoughtfully. “I agree and I feel it’s ‘too soon’ in the relationship to do that. This is our first public event together, after all. Let’s leave them wanting.”

“What’re you thinking?”

“I’m thinking less is more. The press would go wild for a picture of us kissing, especially if we never do it.” You said. “Let’s fuel the fire and make them fan the flames.”

The glow of the passing streetlamps illuminated Diego’s face, casting it in shadow. A glint caught in his eye. “I like the way you think.”

The limousine jerked to a stop and suddenly you were very aware of your department store dress, hand-me down pearl necklace, and $70-dollar hair do. You swallowed and gripped at the small clutch purse you brought. Diego had told you what to do. Smile and look pretty, let him lead you to the door. The hardest part was getting inside. If this was the kind of fame you wanted, you couldn’t let the people and flashing lights overwhelm you.

Diego was a shrewd operator. Every movement he made was calculated and perfected, so it appeared seamless. For you, everything was a blur of faces and cameras and people shouting over each other. You were pretty sure you heard “Diego!” and “Who’s that?” over the commotion. This time, Diego’s firm grip was comforting, and you concentrated on the back of his blond head as he led you down the concrete path.

Your heels clicked on the white marble flooring of the entrance way and you breathed a sigh of relief. Diego let go of your hand and scanned the room. “That went well.” He said. You inspected your palms and saw little crescents indented in the skin. “Do you ever cut your fingernails? They’re like claws.”

“Oi, I clip my fingernails once a week like everyone else. They just grow fast is all.” Diego said defensively. “You have a death grip like a construction worker. Maybe you should’ve done that instead of acting.”

You rolled your eyes and looked around. The gallery was large and open with white marble floors lined with royal blue carpets, and cream-colored walls decorated by avant-garde paintings. A large set of double oak doors was at the end of the room. Fellow guests milled around the entryway in groups, but you didn’t see anyone you would recognize.

“What’s this fundraiser for, anyway?” You asked.

Diego shrugged. “No idea. I just got the invitation in the post and saw Steven Steel’s name on it. Figured it’d be a good excuse to dress up and eat fancy food with other rich people.” Your stomach growled when he mentioned food. The last thing you ate was a handful of blueberries and a soggy sandwich on set that afternoon. You were starving.

He offered you his arm, which you took, and led you through the double doors into the main showroom. You glanced around at the various tables along the floor and spotted several famous faces. The man with the tall silver-blond hair was French actor Jean-Pierre Polnareff and sitting next to him was the famous Egyptian magician Mohammed Avdol. At the table next to theirs was the famous British fashion model Lisa Lisa, impeccably poised and smoking a cigarette in a fancy holder. A few people turned in their seats to look at you and Diego as you passed.

“Ugh, look who’s at our table.” You heard Diego scoff.

You were shocked.

It was Johnny Joestar.

The Joestars were basically Hollywood royalty and Johnny was no exception. Dubbed “Joe Kid” by his fans, Johnny was the face of young Hollywood, an All-American country boy with cute dimples and a youthful face. He made a name for himself playing the righteous young cowboy protagonist in Western action films, the hero who saved the girl and brought justice to a lawless landscape. Everyone knew him and it seemed like his star would only grow brighter.

Until the accident happened.

It was about a year ago. The papers said Johnny was on a walk with his girlfriend one evening when a crazed fan came up from behind and shot him in the back. He lived, fortunately, but was paralyzed from the waist down and would need to use a wheelchair for the rest of his life. The studio abruptly ended his contract and he hadn’t been seen or mentioned since.

“Joestar,” Diego hissed. He pulled out your chair and pushed you into the table before taking his place beside you. The three of you were the only ones there, so far, and Johnny sat across from you in his wheelchair. It struck you how different he looked in real life. His tousled blond hair reached his shoulders now and for someone known for his dimples, it seemed like a scowl was permanently etched on his face.

Johnny sneered. “Ugh, I should’a known you’d be here tonight, Diego. Never could resist an opportunity to boot lick.”

You knew Johnny and Diego had a history. They had been rivals, once, before Johnny’s accident. They competed for roles, awards, and the hearts of beautiful women. Diego held nothing but contempt for his former rival. He claimed Johnny didn’t have a shred of talent and used the Joestar name to get his roles instead of working hard to earn his fame, like he had. “I came from nothing” he was so fond of reminding you. The feeling was mutual, at least from what you read. Johnny once called Diego “a stuck-up prick who should go back to community theater.”

“Who invited you, anyway? I thought it was clear no one wanted you around since you lost your legs.” Diego said.

You bit your lip and looked down at your lap. Should you say something? Diego could be a heartless bastard, you knew that. Honestly, you felt for Johnny. This man had lost everything. What happened was an accident, he didn’t deserve to get shot, no matter how much the media tried to demonize him.

You gently touched his arm. “Diego, dear, be nice.” You implored, batting your eyelashes for effect. “Please, for me?”

Johnny narrowed eyes and turned his pale blue gaze towards you. They were much more intense in person and once again you were aware of how insignificant you were compared to people like him. “Who’s this?”

Diego looked at you with a simpering smile and draped his arm over the back of your chair, like you’d practiced in the limousine. “This is my new girlfriend.” He replied. “Jealous?”

Johnny regarded you for a moment. “Lemme guess, you’re his co-star? What’s your name?”

You told him and reached over to shake his hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. Joestar. I’m a big fan of your work.”

You weren’t lying. If any singular actor inspired you to finally move to Hollywood and pursue your dream, it was him. Westerns were far from your favorite genre but if Johnny Joestar was starring in it, you’d drag your family to see it anyway. It was surreal for you to be so close to him.

He nodded politely and shook your hand. You were surprised by how rough and calloused his palms were. “You must be new. I’m not familiar with any of your roles.”

“Yes, this is my first major role. I was very excited when I found out I was going to be working with Diego Brando.” You said. “I’ve learned so much from him.”

“This movie is going to be a hit.” Diego cut in. “Darling, you’re such a captivating actress, everyone will adore you.”

“How long have you two been together?” Johnny asked.

“Two weeks.” Replied Diego.

Johnny went quiet for a moment, inspecting his fingernails intently. “I see,” he said. “Sleeping with Diego is a smart career move. Come up with it yourself?”

An indignant “what” was all you could manage as color bled across your cheeks.

Johnny wasn’t fazed at all. “Listen, I don’t much like lyin’ to people, so I’ll tell you this. When I look at you, I don’t see ‘star material.’ You got a decent figure and a marginally pretty face but nothing about you stands out. They don’t care how good your acting is, it’ll never be good enough for the kinda fame you want. You can be a good actress, but you’ll never be a star.”

You were fuming. Absolutely livid. Who did he think he was? He didn’t know you! He was just bitter. Jealous of the fact that you had a promising career when his ended prematurely. At first, you felt bad for him. Now? You couldn’t even look at him without seeing red.

“You’re better off this way, promise.” Johnny continued, though you could barely hear him over the thundering of your own heart in your ears. “Nobody in this town gives a shit about you when you stop making them money. They’ll turn you out on your back the minute you can’t be their ideal person. The price of fame isn’t worth it.”

You weren’t listening anymore. Any sympathy you had for Johnny and his situation was completely evaporated by the heat of your anger. Diego and the media were right. He was an asshole. Another person to prove wrong. Your movie would be a success. Over the next six months, you’d endear yourself to the public, charm the Hollywood elite and once you secured your place, he’d see how wrong he was.

“Oi mate, you can fuck off.” Diego interjected.

“Eat shit.”

You shot up from your chair and grabbed your purse off the table. “Excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom.” You said quietly, desperately trying to keep your voice from cracking. Your throat felt tight and tears gathered at the corners of your eyes as your emotions boiled over. At least the next time you needed to cry on command, you could think back on Johnny’s words, which still echoed inside your skull. They stung. A lot. And as you hurried through the maze of tables, all you could think about was how true they might be.

-

This is my first time posting on tumblr and I was really excited to share this! Hope you enjoyed it. My inbox is open so if you have any comments or feedback, I’d love to hear it. Even if you just want to chat, I’d love to get to know the community.

[cityofimagines]

Fluff Alphabet - Will Poulter

Request: Fluff alphabet with Will?

A/N: absolute fluff overload its midnight & im eMO

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Will loves your smile. He loves the way your eyes light up, and your forehead crinkles that you get so insecure about but he just loves seeing you happy. He loves being the reason for your smile and he just thinks its the most beautiful part of you. He’s happy when you’re happy.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

I think Will is definitely dad material. I can totally see him literally being the best dad and no matter if he had a daughter or a son he would spoil the HECK outta them.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Have you seen this man? He’s 6′3 so obviously he’s the big spoon. He’d love to either be in bed or on the couch just completely wrapping himself around you. He’d want his arms to feel like home for you; just the safest place on earth where there’s no expectations, just pure love flowing in between you both. He’d always have a soft hand just slowly trailing up and down your body while he continuously pulls you closer every few minutes.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Spontaneous. Will’s whole life is kind of spontaneous, so that definitely translates into your dating life. You both do a lot of public things together like award shows, red carpets, premieres and sporting events, but Will being Will doesn’t really categorize those as dates. Your dates are lowkey, eating out at a nice restaurant, or honestly just having a netflix night at home.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

Love. This is Will’s number one pet name for you. It perfectly encapsulates what he feels for you, and that’s true genuine love.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

He had a rough, overwhelming day of filming and he wasn’t feeling good at all when he got home. However when he got back to your place, you had dinner all ready, and you just hugged and comforted him for the rest of the night. He knew after that night that he was in love with you. He fell in love with the way you made him feel.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?) 

Will truly is the definition of a gentle giant. He is always so soft with you when you’re in that mood. He’ll wake you up with quick kisses all over your face, and gentle hands trailing up and down the sides of your body. Other times, there’s just lots of hugs and hand holding.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Will completely intertwines his hands in yours every time you go out somewhere. He’s so proud to call you his, and he wants the whole world to know you’re together so he’ll let them know with some simple hand holding.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Will was absolutely mesmerized by you when you first met. You met through mutual friends at a movie premiere.  He was lost in your beauty, but also just the way you spoke. He knew instantly that you were going to be someone special in his life. 

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Will trusts you immensely, so he doesn’t get jealous often, but even when he does get jealous he’ll show it subtly. At the club if some guy got too close to you, he would just walk over and start talking to you while completely ignoring the guy. His lowkey dom nature would come out if any guy who had a little too much to drink decided to try anything though. He’d start shouting a bit and pushing the guy around until he got the message. Another instance where he would get jealous is if you were famous and he saw you with another actor as your love interest in the movie/show/whatever you were in. During the premiere he would just simply hold your hand a little tighter and give you small kisses on your cheek during those scenes. When he did this, you always knew he was a tad jealous. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Will initiated the first kiss. One day he just couldn’t resist anymore. He grabbed your face and pulled you in for a sensual, meaningful moment. Your first kiss was tender and slow, but as your relationship grew, your kisses became needier and more passionate. He tries to convey all the love he has for you through his kisses.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Once again, Will said it first, but you were not long to follow. The first time he said it, after about 3 months of you dating, you immediately said it back because it was exactly how you felt.

M = Memory (What’s their favorite memory together?)

Your first date. A day that’s forever burned in his mind. It was the first time you both genuinely had time alone together, and he started falling for you right away.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

100%. He can’t help it. You could make the slightest comment about a dress saying “that’s cute” and next thing you know he would be pulling you over to the cash register and giving the cashier his card. He does anything and everything to make you happy, even though you insist on him not spending any money on you.

O = Orange (What color reminds them of their other half?)

Purple. It was the color of the flowers on the dress you wore on your first real date. He has that outfit engrained in the back of his mind. He also loves to send you purple flowers because of it every so often.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Will’s a simple guy. Love, my darling, angel, and the occasional babe are his most used pet names for you. 

Q = Quaint (What is their favorite non-modern thing?)

Will has a lot. But mainly since he’s not super big on technology, he loves a good book, and a good game of soccer (football in his language) outside. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Rainy days are usually spent in your bed cuddling, whispering sweet nothings, and eating junk food. He loves a good chill day after long weeks of filming crazy movies, and rainy days are the perfect excuse to do just that.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Will has a lot of ways to cheer himself up. He’s super big on keeping his mental health in check. He loves to meditate, read, listen to music, and honestly just talk to you. You’re the sunshine of his life, and seeing you smile makes him smile. He’ll cheer you up by doing sort of the same thing. He’ll let you vent to him as long as you need to, or if you don’t want to talk he could stand there with you in his embrace for hours if need be. 

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Everything. Life, work, upcoming movies, past movies, feelings, family, your relationship, news, charity work, etc. Will is so outspoken and articulate. He loves to have deep, meaningful conversations with you about anything and everything.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

This is kind of mentioned above, but definitely meditation, reading, and having long talks with you, especially at night before bed to help stop his mind from racing.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Anyone who knows Will knows that his sense of style is pretty dope. At events, he loves to subtly show off a new outfit and of course the sneakers he has to go with the outfit. 

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Will would probably take a little while to propose to you. I feel like he’s not one to rush things at all, especially with his unpredictable career, but he would also just need to make sure that it’s absolutely the right decision for him at the time. He knows for a fact that he loves you, but he would totally overthink the proposal and hold off until he knows that it’s the right time and everything will go smoothly. It would be the biggest regret of his life if his proposal ever got messed up.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Knowing him, anything by Tame Impala.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Yes! Will absolutely wants to get married and have a family one day. He’s a big family man to begin with, and starting one of his own has been of dream of his for a long time.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

I can definitely see Will as a dog person. He’d love to play outside with it, and seeing you with a dog would seriously make him the happiness. Just imagine the cuteness overload.

[raccoon-wizard]

Two and Half Assholes

An entire one person (shout out to @jumpfiend) expressed their wish for me to write an angry essay about the long dead show Two and Half Men (2003-2015) and all the problems it has. Allow me to start by saying that I am by no means a professional critic and I have never really written an in-depth review of anything. But I have a lot of feelings that I need to get out about this shitshow, otherwise my head is gonna explode next time my father insists on watching it.

Just a warning, this is a very long post.

What is Two and Half Men about?

If I tried to write my own summary here, I would probably end up tearing it to shreds already. Instead, I’m going to borrow the annotation from IMDB.com: “A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beachfront house.”

That doesn’t really say much, does it now. Luckily, the same site also provides us with a wide range of plot (hahahah “plot”) summaries written by users. This one tells us a little more: “The Harper brothers Charlie and Alan are almost opposites but form a great team. They have little in common except their dislike for their mundane, maternally cold and domineering mother, Evelyn. Alan, a compulsively neat chiropractor and control-freak, is thrown out by his manipulative wife Judith who nevertheless gets him to pay for everything and do most jobs in the house. Charlie is a freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon. Charlie "temporarily" allows Alan and his son Jake, a food-obsessed, lazy kid who shuttles between his parents, to move in with them after Alan's separation/divorce. The sitcom revolves around their conflicting lifestyles, raising Jake (who has the efficient, caring dad while having a ball with his fun-loving sugar uncle who teaches him boyish things), and bantering with Evelyn and various other friends and family. Other fairly regular characters include Charlie's cleaning lady Berta and his rich, self-confessed stalker neighbor Rose who often sneaks in to spy on Charlie.”

Now that’s much better. It gives us quite a decent picture of the show’s ensemble. At least for the starter episodes, this is pretty much what it is. But as the show progresses, we see that the characters have a little bit more depth to them. But not that much. 

Let’s start with Charlie Harper, the “freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon” portrayed by Charlie Sheen. (Is that man still a thing?) I think we can get a lot by taking apart this brief description of him. Freelance jingle composer pretty much means that he has a grand piano in his house and we can occasionally see him playing it while trying to put together words for a commercial for some random product. And that’s it. He has a few other musician friends who are just as big of assholes as he is, but we’ll get to that later. Other than that, we don’t really see him working at all. I think there is one episode about him writing kids’ songs because his girlfriend’s kid likes them. And one about him getting an award?? I don’t know man. The second part of that statement is a much more prominent “personality” trait of Charlie’s. In nearly every episode, we see him “dating” (meaning shagging and then dumping) another woman. I have mentioned in my initial post that this show is misogynistic. Don’t worry, I will also get into that later. For now I’m going to say that Charlie treats all these women absolutely disgustingly and we’re supposed to laugh at that. On the rare occasions we see him in a long term relationship (which happens twice I think? I’m not sure now), we get the stereotypical ball and chain bullshit. The woman takes all his freedom and tries to make him better. While I hate that trope with burning passion, I have to admit that in this case, she does have a solid point. Charlie is a pathetic excuse of a man who has to count on his good looks (questionable) and his riches. By the way, where did he even get them? Does composing jingles really make that much money? Is he that good of a gambler? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen another episode addressing the fact that the answer to both of these questions is no. Where the hell did this luxurious beach-house come from??? So many questions about a show that deserves so little.

Surprisingly, Charlie is the better one out of the two brothers. At the start, we really do feel sorry for Alan. His wife (who is a HORRIBLE person by the way) kicks him out and manipulates him into still paying for everything and doing many things for her around the house. Who wouldn’t feel bad for someone like this? He moves in with Charlie “for the time being”. Soon, we realise that he is not leaving the house anytime soon. He becomes a disgusting leech, a truly pathetic excuse of a man. And he doesn’t even bother hiding it. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to feel sorry for him or laugh at him, but either case doesn’t really work if you spend at least ten seconds thinking about it. How are we supposed to sympathise with a man that lives off of others and barely lifts a finger to change it? The worst part is, the show presents it as something completely normal. We don’t really see Alan’s actions turning against him, do we? Most of the time, whatever shit he does, works just fine for him. 

Another prominent character is Alan’s son, Jake, who grows up throughout the series. A fat little boy, not exactly bright. A spoiled brat (if it’s the fault of Alan or Judith is questionable) that has everything handed to him, as Charlie points out in one episode. It’s another bad personality trait that we’re supposed to find funny. And at first, we kind of do. But once again, as the show progresses, it gets worse. Jake becomes the oldest kid in his class because he fails so many times. He only gets to start middle school because “he’s too big for the desks in his class now”. A bit of a watered down Dudley Dursley now that I think about it. It feels that the older Jake gets, the dumber he is. He eventually joins the military because he is too daft to realise. (If I remember correctly, that was done only so Jake’s actor could leave the show because he pretty much realised how bad it was.)

The main reason why I hate this show so much, however, is its way of handling female characters. There’s a few prominent ones - the aforementioned Judith, Alan’s ex wife, a cold hearted manipulative bitch, that also follows the trope of “I’m breaking up with you because I’m a lesbian” for a while, but then it’s never addressed again, not even once. Then we have Alan and Charlie’s mother, Evelyn, also a cold hearted bitch lacking any motherly instincts whatsoever that the men blame for how they turned out. Honestly, I can kind of see it. There’s Rose, Charlie’s neighbour whom he had slept with once and who’s been obsessed with him ever since, following him pretty much wherever he goes and inappropriately visiting him, usually in order to chase any woman that gets close to him away. We have Berta, Charlie’s housekeeper that I would like to believe is there to show the differences between different classes, as she has a large family to take care of, fending of her daughters’ admirers and dealing with drug and alcohol issues. But at this point we all know she’s only there so we can laugh at her struggles and the witty remarks she likes to make. 

A special category of women in this show are the lovers and girlfriends. All of them end up either leaving the men for someone better (good for them tbh), or getting left by them. But remember, we’re supposed to always be siding with the men. The women are there for us to laugh at and hate. Rose the stalker? The only reason Charlie never gets rid of her is so we can laugh as she appears unexpected on his balcony over and over again. Are her apparent mental health issues ever addressed? Maybe once, but as a joke. You know, the classic ha ha ha ha look an insane person that’s hilarious. Judith the ex wife and her flock of weird friends (that Charlie converts)? Look, evil wives hating men, ha ha ha ha. Better run away from there, men, or they’ll eat you alive! Ha ha ha ha. Judith wanting support from friends and claiming she deserves to be happy is played off as something we scoff at. Chelsea, Charlie’s girlfriend and fiancée? The ball and chain thing, similarly to Judith, but not nearly as manipulative - this one we can see really means well and wants to help Charlie, but he’s a Man™ and cannot handle that, despite claiming to love her very dearly. Lindsay, Alan’s on again, off again girlfriend? Oof. Where to even start with that one. As most of the characters (save for maybe Judith), she starts off decent, despite her inexplicable desire for Alan. (Seriously though what in the world is up with that.) Also, now that I mentioned Alan’s weird sex appeal (not to me but to the female characters of the show, ew), what the hell was up with Judith wanting to suddenly fuck him again and HIM ENDING UP BEING THE FATHER OF HER DAUGHTER???? Was that the point when the writers just said “you know what, fuck this” or?

Some additional things the men on the show did to women:

Infidelity. Aka “ha ha ha many women want man what a lucky bastard he gets to fuck many women ha ha ha oh no he’s been caught ha ha ha funny”.

Infidelity with their friends/family members. I’m pretty sure this happened multiple times. One of the male protagonists gets a girlfriend. Girlfriend has an attractive daughter. Man sleeps with daughter. Girlfriend is mad. Man claims that it is actually a compliment to her because the daughter is just a younger version of her. Man gets upset when girlfriend disagrees. Poor man, girlfriend mean :(((

Another thing I would like to point out is the show’s dumbass approach to sexuality and gender. It’s the age old, straight men bullshit that lesbians = hot, gay men = ew. We see that throughout the whole thing a bunch of times. Alan ends up marrying Walden (whom I will talk about as well) so they can scam an adoption agency. That’s just wrong, man. That’s awful. And regarding gender, the way this shitshow handles trans people is disgusting. I can currently only think of one instance of this, but I have a feeling it happened multiple times, but with Charlie and Alan. They meet a woman, flirt, sleep together, all fun and games. But for some god forsaken reason, after all is done, the woman decides to be like “yeah by the way I used to be a dude” and?? Why?? First of, why would any trans person want to tell anyone their deadname and other things after successfully transitioning? I’m a cis woman, but this really makes no sense to me. Please correct me if I’m wrong on this one, but if you’ve spent years trying to pass as whatever gender you identify with, transitioned, you wouldn’t exactly go around sleeping with people and afterwards telling them about it, would you? And second of all, the entire reason why these characters appear are so we can be like “eww he slept with someone who used to have a penis eww” and laugh as they have a small crisis because of it. Just. Why?? I am aware that this is a thing other shows do/have done as well, but it really bothers me. And even when the guy decides to roll with it, all we get are those jokes that the woman is “more manly” than him. I remember vividly Alan hooking up with a trans lady and briefly dating her, only so we can see her pick a fight with a man, pay for their food and shit and Alan being flustered because he feels like less of a man. Again, please correct me if I’m wrong since my knowledge of gender is limited, but I’m about 97 % sure this is not how it works.

One would have thought that most of this would end after Charlie’s death. His place is taken by Walden Schmidt, portrayed by the angel that is Ashton Kutcher, a “billionaire internet entrepreneur who has recently been divorced and is now suicidal” (wiki). Before I dig in to how it actually got worse, let’s talk about Walden for a while. He really is a nice change. Walden is a genuinely good character, we see him working super hard and treating women well and just being great. I actually like him. The problem the show has when it comes to him is treating his suicidal-ness as just another little joke. Ha ha ha man wants to die man weak. Funny. But as we get over this part (rather quickly tbh), things involving Walden get actually good (besides the part where he sleeps with Alan’s mother). We do see some annoyingly familiar divorce related things, but in contrast to Alan, we see Walden actually get back on his own two feet. 

Alan will forever be my biggest issue with this show. I don’t know if he gets worse or if it’s just the contrast with Walden that makes it seem that way, but he becomes a bigger and bigger parasite, exploiting Walden’s kindness, becoming a lover to his, at that point, former girlfriend Lindsay and somehow exploiting her current boyfriend? He just goes haywire is what I’m trying to say.

I’m not saying that people like that don’t exist. We see it every day, the rich playboys, the pathetic incels. They are everywhere and we totally should talk about them. But not like this. We shouldn’t feel like we should sympathise with them, we shouldn’t hate those that try to criticise them, or those who want to get rid of them. We shouldn’t laugh when they hurt people around them. Men shouldn’t want to relate to them. Characters like this should be presented as something we should avoid becoming.

“What’s your problem? It’s just something I watch to unwind,” my father scoffs at me as I complain about yet another evening we all have to spend listening to the nonsense Two and Half Men brings us. Yea, maybe for you. Maybe you know better than to treat people around you, especially women, like they’re just something you can play around with and then throw into the sewers. Maybe you give everyone equal respect. (No he doesn’t, by the way.) But you know, with the way this TV channel plays this show over and over and over and over again (five episodes a day, every day, and the second they get to the end, they just start over), there’s probably a number of young people who don’t realise how wrong it is and take what’s said there as something to live by. Maybe they’ll think that it’s okay to use people to their advantage. Maybe they’ll think like a rich entitled middle aged straight white man. That’s my problem. Even though the show ended five years ago, it still lives on our televisions and it still gives us wrong examples on how to live our lives. That’s why I hate the show. Not just the awful writing and “plot” holes. It’s the way it treats people and presents it as something that’s totally fine. 

[weclassybouquetfun]

"Two years ago Scott (Rudin) would say the words that would change my life: 'No, those aren't homeless Rabbis. Those are the Safdie Brothers.'" - Adam Sandler, Winner of Best Actor

"There's been a lot of conversation this year about how to encourage more women to be in film or get more women into the conversation and I just have to say you don't have to encourage women. There are a lot of women making films and who wants to make films and who are in film school. Shadowing is great, programs are great but what women really need is just the job! Just give them the freaking job! Give them the money!"  Lulu Wang, Winner of Best Feature for THE FAREWELL.

Wang's partner Barry Jenkins (MOONLIGHT, IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK) big upping her.

"To me the movies we are celebrating here today don't need a special label. They are the movies. They are as major as anything. All of my movies have been Independent movies and some of them have been funded by studios." - Noah Baumbach, director of MARRIAGE STORY which won the Robert Altman Award

Shout out to Tyler the Creator for trying to find a in to Timothee Chalamet.

The Safdie Bros. gave dueling speeches thanking A24 who said "yes, before we even asked them to say yes", Adam Sandler who said no, 10 years ago and five years ago, but finally said yes two and a half-years ago, Scott Rudin and Eli Bush who said no way too much and Martin Scorcese who "doesn't really say anything" but he got involved.'

-With no wins for HONEY BOY director Alma Har'el and Team HONEY BOY have ended their awards season run.

I love that guys are embracing high waists and wide-legged pants. I think it's  a cool look.

Noah with his fashion icon.

No guy looked better this week than Luka Sabbat rocking Rick Owens at the AMFAR gala.

And per Mr. Elton John David Furnish, the BAFTAs were the end of Taron Egerton's award season run. One would think the studio would try to get him a ticket to the Oscars. Or maybe he will attend and Furnish just meant he's not performing. How ever it shakes out Taron did work that phat arse of his off promoting ROCKETMAN.