#source: i have read memory world too many times

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

my tags wasn't enough, i had more than 30 tags worth of things to say about worldbuilding and food (feel free to read said tags in past reblog, aka it's this post's "previous tags" which hopefully you know the process to get to that) but i will restrain myself of truly babbling as much as i really want — for instead the following:

i will repeat that worldbuilding = culture, and culture = food, what are meals here, how many meals are here, where do the ingredients come from, how does seasons impact what you can eat, what do they eat for birthdays, etc + clothes, what silhouettes and types of fashion are here, where do they get these outfits' materials (livestock? plants? dyes?), what special occasion outfits are there or is there any regalia to occupation/type of dancing/age/etc, how do outfits change with seasons + so on and so forth

here is a great youtuber who has a playlist analyzing world-building, and it can include things like food. my favorite video from this playlist is for the show "Ascendance of a Bookworm" (yes, the playlist is linked as part of this video btw) which does specifically go into food (as do other videos within said 10-video-long playlist. another video within the playlist is "Dungeon Meshi" which is very much about food). please watch as much of the playlist as you like! another video of his about worldbuilding, that is not in this playlist, is about "Castle In The Sky"'s worldbuilding as shown in that intro-instrumental bit of the film specifically (a movie my brain farted and called "Nausicaä: Valley Of The Wind" in my tags before, iGNORE THAT)

and here is another great youtuber. his entire channel is largely about "how to write" and various aspects of worldbuilding. but i do want to mention that this conversation is biased towards Hard Worldbuilding, evidentally, and he has some videos that are in support of softer worldbuilding too (which, my memory could be off, but i dont think he gets into food often? but an example of Soft Worldbuilding and food would be how idk how the fuck Chihiro/the spirits has access to food in "Spirited Away", they just kind of begin and end with a vague ✨️magic food✨️ vibe about how these are meals for the dead, but the soft worldbuilding there not including how they source this food is not bad worldbuilding at all). it's best, in terms of mind-set, to have different types of worldbuilding for different projects in my opinion

In Defense of Soft Magic Systems

Hard Worldbuilding vs. Soft Worldbuilding | A Study of Studio Ghibli

and this is in regards to stories outside of fantasy period-pieces as well. like, "Coraline" for example is VERY fascinating to analyze in respects to food. both what Coraline eats, what the Other Mother eats (or rather doesn't eat), what the Other Father eats (he is starving, always), what foods are available to who and when; and that is a story that takes place in modern-day and has some pretty restrained fantasty elements as part of the Other Mother's powers and whatnot

but even things like "this character never cooks, only orders out or eats other people's homemade food or eats leftovers" can say a lot about the individual (doesn't take good care of themself, or doesn't have the time or energy to, may have been neglected as a child from learning this life-skill, could be a lot of reasons why they can't cook), even if the character themself is from a culture that has a rich history with food

i will admit some cultures have a more restrained history with food, like Indigenous Americans' intertribal culture (which, hi, hello, i am one such Indigenous American) has a semi-strained, semi-loving relationship with frybread. bc it's not a "cultural"-food, it's a survival food. it's a food that was invented bc people were starving, forced into bottlenecks of limited, unfamiliar ingredients due to us being forced into reservations and militant forces not allowing us access to trade for other ingredients on these lands that yielded poor crops and limited to no livestock. as a result, frybread is super unhealthy. (though some Indigenous American chefs have worked to make healthier varieties now) but also frybread is a cheap, easy food to make that celebrates that we survived a time when people tried to kill us via starvation, but it also is a symbol of said starvation attempt as it was a food that was only created to help its people survive rather than as an expression of culture. hence, a relationship with a piece of food that is semi-strained, semi-loving. so that is an irl example of how food can be a cultural yet not-cultural yet also a history-informing item

so, if you want to read me praising the fuck out of Hard Worldbuilding including meals and how the implications even of something as simple as "this culture eats lots of beef" can be unfolded, read my past reblog's notes. but also, Studio Ghibli does really Soft Worldbuilding masterfully, and also mentions food here and there throughout their films, while not always explaining where it comes from (i think "Howl's Moving Castle" is one such example, as Sophie goes to a market to buy food for said moving castle's residents at one point. but, again, where the spirits import food (besides pigs, i guess) into the bathhouse for its workers, guests, and Chihiro to eat is beyond me). and neither worldbuilding method is superior than the other, i just have more to say about the One That Inherently Requires More Self-Questioning than the other, evidently. but food is an excellent way to show, not only culture (or survival) within said worldbuilding, but an individual's personality (eg. the Can't Cook aforementioned example), relationships (eg. aforementioned "Coraline" example), or emotional state (eg. in "Spirited Away", when Chihiro cries while eating her food because it's the first moment she has been able to safely process what has been happening to her, and the food tastes so good and was a kind gift, and she us just so overwhelmed and sad), and so much more

i think, overall, it is best to have stuff match. as in, if you have a hard magic-system, then you probably should map out and source your food in similar levels of detail for your own reference, even if it may never show in the narrative, just so you can be consistent. and then, if you have a soft magic-system, it'd be wise to have a similarly soft worldbuilding relationship with food. your audience expects hard worldbuilding with hard magic-system, and soft worldbuilding with soft magic-systems. i cant think off the top of my head of any examples where we get a juxtaposition of hard/soft that ends up with a well-polished story audiences love. and if you dont have a magic-system for the worldbuilding to reflect, then have the worldbuilding reflect similarly to what your story does examine. like, "Pulp Fiction" is soft towards what is in the suitcase, and similarly has a soft worldbuilding and explatory attitude towards its cast of characters, and it's also pretty soft about what the characters eat and drink being sourced from where (the most famous is probably the coffee lol), which fits as it's in contemporary LA and you assume most food there comes from similar places as your food does irl but no one knows for sure, but there's still an interesting relationship to food to follow within this film and whatnot

edit: i finally thought of a story that does a mix of Hard as well as Soft Worldbuilding, and luckily enough the example includes food in its story and that would be "Over The Garden Wall" (spoilers ahead). it has a ridiculously heavy amount of research put into it, from the fashion and architecture to the very doorknobs, and it does both explain and not explain its world as the Unknown is both real and not as it was a type of limbo of "Dante's Inferno" that Greg and Wirt experienced when they were almost drowned to death. it is the only story i can think of where arguably what happened within it was "just a dream" yet that ending doesn't make people unhappy this time around; i think because there is a real feeling of "they could've died if they didn't escape the Unknown, so the stakes were real, they had an arc, this story still matters". and, to me, i think the Hard Worldbuilding is the reality within the world— like the fashions, doorknobs, Wirt and Greg's hometown, as we later see evidence of characters in the Unknown having tombstones and the like in the Wirt and Greg's hometown, there is pieces of reality that carried over beyond death and into the Unknown— whereas the Soft Worldbuilding was the fantastical elements, like the anthromorphic animals, Adelaide's magic, the bluejay curse, the Beast, the pumpkins and skeletons, the lantern, and so on that do not have a real-life equivalent. and one thing that does have a real life equivalent is food, almost all the food in this show is real, even if i wouldnt personally wish potatoes and molasses on my worst enemy. i'll sooner slurp a turtle, like the dog and Auntie Whispers. but also Endicott's food and the tavern food looks so good. but, yeah, we really don't know anything about where these real-life meals are sourced other than that they are real foods you could theoretically make yourself (like Endicott is not eating mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, and some kind of sliced meat like ham), but the one fantasy meal that is those turtles has soooo much mystery surrounding them that it is nigh-infamous how much the creator dodges questions about those lil turts lol so!! if you do want to mix Hard and Soft Worldbuilding, just do so thoughtfully and have there be a consistent and clear line. for OTGW, that's putting a ton of hard-research into real-life, historic equivalents within the Unknown to Wirt and Greg's hometown juxtaposed with extremely soft fantasy elements of the Unknown unexplained as there is no magical equivalent in Wirt and Greg's hometown. consistency, consistency, indeed lol

anyway, hope the free resources help ✌️ thanks for letting me yap about why you should let your characters eat and also maybe pay attention to what they eat lol

Is this anything

[kujakumai]

A Quick Guide to How Ka Work in YGO, because apparently even the anime writers didn't get it:

Every person, everyone, has an individual spirit Ka. It is a little (or big) monster that represents you somehow and is tied to your soul.

99% of people cannot see or utilize their Ka because they don't have the necessary magical training. However, anyone can be trained to summon their Ka. As long as it's your own Ka, and still attached to you, you don't need a millennium item to do this.

When your personal spirit Ka is destroyed, you die.

There is a method by which your Ka can be excised from your soul and sealed in a giant trading card slab instead. This means it is no longer attached to you and you cannot summon it. The person whose Ka has been removed lives, but it's unclear if this has any other effects.

Anyone with a millennium item can use it to summon any Ka that's already been sealed in a slab. When those Ka are destroyed, the wielder will feel the hit (shadow game style), but they won't die unless they run out of magic HP (Ba).

Some people are very special like Kisara, which is that their Ka is so entwined to their soul that it cannot be excised without killing them.

This means that:

People without millennium items can summon Ka, but only their own (See: Mana, Thief King before he got the ring)

A millennium item holder has access to both their own personal spirit Ka and anything in the slabs, and they appear to regularly use both in combat.

It is possible to willingly excise and seal your own Ka away in order to avoid the risk of death upon it's destruction, at the cost of needing an item to summon it.

All of the Ka currently in the slabs, as far as we know, belonged to an individual person at some point. They appear to be harvested mainly from criminals.

[gghostwriter]

Time is a Fickle Thing

Girl Dad!Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer realizes how important it is to occupy the present and be active in the little things Trope: Fluff & Comfort w.c: 1.48k a/n: this was inspired by an essay I read over the week titled ‘Learning to Measure time in Love & Loss’ by Chris Huntington. It’s very profound so I would suggest you go read it—Andrew Garfield also read it on the podcast called ‘Modern Love’ so go listen to that too. Not proofread. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 💗 masterlist

There was still an array of paperwork to be done in his desk at Quantico. Case files that needed to be written down and reviewed by his unit chief, Emily.

The past Dr. Spencer Reid—the one who was still wet behind the ears and green in the eyes of his team members, would have found the droll of filling out forms therapeutic. But now at his age of 40, everything else—typing out information and grading essays, were chores that demanded his every waking attention. He had found himself agitated with the looming workload that seemed never ending.

“Daddy,” a sweet voice murmured beside him. The source—a small body nestling closer to his side.

He hummed in reply, absentmindedly as his brain was preoccupied with estimating how many hours he needed to finish checking submissions in lieu of sleep.

Tiny hands patted his cheeks. “Daddy,” the sweet voice now coated with a hint of urgency.

Spencer’s hazel eyes locked with a pair of replicas. “Yes, Aurora?”

“What happens next?”

Shaking his head, he glanced down at her choice for a bedtime story, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and realized it was the end of a chapter. Reading together was a sacred ritual he formed ever since he had found out you were pregnant.

It made you giggle when you pointed out that she, still a fetus cocooned safely in your body, would not understand the works of The Giving Tree or The Rainbow Fish. He rattled of statistics that although she couldn’t understand the meaning, she could still hear quite well.

In truth, he wanted her to know him—his voice, his presence. Her father who was quite scared to bring in an innocent into the world.

Still, scared even.

Her pink bottom lip jutting out into a frown, reminiscent of the ‘look’ his wife gives to him that renders him speechless and pliable to demands.

It was fascinating how you and him created such a perfect combination—a seven year old daughter who was into reading, as he was, and confident, as you were.

“Daddy, what happens next?”

The corners of his mouth lifted into a smile. The look of exasperation on her tiny face was adorable.

Everything about her was captivating.

“Well, sweet pea,” he began to close the book. “That would be a story for another night.”

“But—”

“Remember what we promised?”

She sighed, gripping her white bunny—a gift from Aunt Penelope, closer. “One chapter only.”

“That’s right,” tucking the stray tendrils away from her angelic face.

As he started to stand up from his precarious lying position on her gingham patterned bed, Aurora’s tiny warm hands gave his sleeves a double tug.

“You’re forgetting something, Daddy.”

He leaned in to give her forehead a kiss.

“Is that it?” He teased.

She giggled, her feet kicking under the covers. “No!”

Brushing his fingers behind her neck—her tickle spot that matched yours. “What about this one?”

Aurora squealed, her infectious happy energy warming his heart. She was a treasure and he felt blessed to be considered her father.

“Stop Daddy, stop!” She sat up, hands crossing over her chest to state she meant business.

Spencer conceded, showing his hands in front of him—a sign of surrender. If she was standing, he could just imagine her little foot stomping on the ground and taking in a wide stance she learned from observing Uncle Morgan.

“Mommy always said you never forget anything,” she argued. “She said you have an ei-eid—perfect memory.”

“Eidetic memory, Aurora, and yes, mommy is right.”

She tilted her head then, her wavy hazel hair swaying behind her. “Then how come you don’t remember?”

“How about giving me a clue then?”

She huffed. “Best part, worst part, Daddy! You forgot to ask me!”

Oh.

That was another ritual he added when Aurora started to learn how to string words along. Although there were nights away from a case that he could not read to her, he always made it a point to ask her via call the best and worst part of her day. It made him feel connected with her even though he was miles away.

“Oh how could I forget, sweet pea,” Spencer sat back on the bed, tucking her back as he went. “Now, can I know what your worst part is?”

She went silent for a moment. Deep in thought, brows scrunching together.

“When Mommy didn’t allow me to wear my new rain boots to school. She said it’s because it wasn’t raining but I really wanted to wear them.”

He laughed, having heard of the small disagreement you had which made you late for work. “We only wear rain boots when the weather is sad, remember?”

Aurora nodded.

“And what about the best part?”

She smiled, the answer quickly spilling out of her. “This is, Daddy.”

Spencer could feel the effect her simple words had to his system. It warmed his heart that expanded for two when she came into the world. It put a halt to any train of thought in his brain.

“Want to know a secret?” He whispered. “This is mine too.”

Tiny hands rubbed her drooping eyes before further nestling in her bed. “Good night, Daddy. I love you.”

He slowly crept out of the room.

“I love you too,” he flicked the light off and closed the door behind him.

Spencer found himself repeating those words and slowly lamenting over missed milestones in her burgeoning life.

Her first steps.

Her first tooth falling out.

Her latest family presentation in school in which you recorded her explaining where he was and what he does for a living—catching bad guys.

In his focused dedication in trying to make the country a better place for her future, Spencer had forgotten to appreciate the present, her growth, and the very notion that time could not be reversed to live the mundane things that make everyday worth living.

Aristotle once said ‘time crumbles things; everything grows old under the power of time and is forgotten through the lapse of time.’

It was a concept he was familiar with by the ripe age of nine, having spent his early youth in isolation and soaking up every thinking thought from the great minds that had roamed this planet before him.

He never forgot the words—not that his memory would allow him to.

And yet, as he found himself sitting on his desk, a cup of fresh tea in front of him, the phrase came to surface like a forgotten pair of lucky socks hidden within the depths of a cabinet.

Perhaps it was his heart that kept it hidden or better yet forgotten, a feat on its own. Perhaps during his tender age, he had yet sculpted the capacity to digest what it meant to his very soul.

Or perhaps, it was a sign from the unknown to focus and live in the present.

She was growing and becoming her very own person right before his unfocused eyes.

Spencer sighed, feeling a pair of arms glide to wrap around his shoulders.

“What’s got you so down, handsome?” You left a kiss on his cheek.

He intertwined your hands together. “It’s just—I missed out on so many milestones. Does that make me an absentee father?”

You walked around him before propping yourself on his lap. “I don’t think so, Spence. Why? What brought this on?”

“I found myself thinking about work when I should be focused on spending time—reading to Aurora. It made me feel sad that she was looking forward to our nightly routine and there I was, thinking about paperwork.”

There was a flash of sadness in your eyes as you caressed his cheek. “That’s alright. We all have our moments, Spence. You just got caught up with life and the responsibilities it has given you,” a lithe finger twisted a loose tendril blocking hos vision. “I know—we know, Aurora and I, that you being busy doesn’t mean you love us any less.”

“I just wish I wouldn’t miss anymore, love.”

You trailed kisses all over his cheeks, the corners of his mouth, before landing perfectly on his awaiting lips. “And I know you’d try your best moving forward.”

“Have I told you I love you?” He teased, arms securely on your waist. “Because I do and I feel lucky to have an understanding partner as you.”

“I love you too, Spence, and Aurora loves you too,” you giggled. “And between you and me, I think you’re still her favorite parent.”

Head thrown back, he laughed, thighs shaking from your admission. “It’s because I cave more to her whims more than you do.”

“Well, there’s that too.”

You gave him another kiss.

“We can try to be more present next time—together. I won’t let you doubt yourself. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

[etherfabric]

Why things will be easy now

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

more PACs

Pile 1

Queen of Swords, The Emperor

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Things will be easy now because you learned what works for you, and are confident to ditch the rest. Your intuition is razor sharp and wielding it is second nature to you now. Other's opinions don't sway you anymore. You know everyone has their own path, and them doing thing A has no influence on your thing B. You are a master now with drawing boundaries with others as well within your own thoughts - you know which ones are from your true, authentic, eternal, beautiful self, and which one are just silly downward spiraling habits you can opt out anytime. Those doubts are like fluffy clouds on a breezy summer day - superficial, fleeting, never able to stop the sun from reaching you. You know where to put your energy and your focus, and feel the results instantly. How come mood is now so easy? And the best part - it doesn't actually feel new. You remember how this was always at your disposal. How you just forgot about it. But it was always there. Memories of past successes are cut and dry proof of all the blessings to come. It feels powerful, it feels true, it feels good - it feels you. Like actually you.

Pile 2

The World, Page of Pentacles

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Things will be easy now because the minute somethings stops feeling satisfying, another perfect thing will pop up. Talking about divine orchestration, and this is your symphony. You enjoy every step of the journey - the idea, the initiation, the progress, the habit, the finish. You marvel at the infinite combinations of those currents through your perception, and the world is your oyster now. So many prospects that hold reliable promises! It's all up to you. Things that used to be dull and monotonous suddenly bring a sparkle to your eye again. Food tastes rich, water refreshes you with every sip, your body is a miracle you have access to every living second. The physical plane got its magic back. With the eyes of the eternal child, you feel abundant beyond limits. I get the feeling specifically of having beautiful interactions with nature, with an emphasis on animals. Spotting a rare bird, petting a cat, a butterfly landing right next to you. Serendipitous timing with weather - sun right when you want it, rain right when it adds to the athmosphere, a breeze caressing your back as encouragement on a stroll towards something exciting. Beautiful sunsets, stargazing, moonlight moments. You have everything you could ever want, and then some. This is what life is about, and it's so easy. And you know how to stay in it.

Pile 3

3 of Cups, 2 of Wands

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Things will be easy now because it finally clicked: You remembered how freaking likeable you are. Social interactions that used to confuse you now suddenly make sense - people are intimidated and nervous around you! They really want you to like them, and they can't fathom how you don't see that. Well, those times are over now. A calm and confident warmth emenates from within you now, and what used to be a source of anxiety and stress is now a constant uplift in your life - the people you meet, how they look at you, the words they say, just their body language from across the street are all surefire signs you can read like a children's book. They reflect what has finally once againrevealed itself to you: You are beautiful, impressive, radiant, capable, deserving, magical. This makes time by yourself like a serene island of recuperation and contemplation. Your dreams and plans with people are just as easily achievable as opening the door to your room. Mundane, easy, self explanatory, a given. Not ever a focus of your worries. Why worry about the doorknob? Why worry about things that are certain? Why worry about just the right people entering your life at just the right moment, with just the right circumstances, right words, right gifts, right intentions? That's right. As easy as the inhale and exhale. As sure as the next breath. Welcome to the truth.

Pile 4

5 of Cups, The Hierophant

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Things will be easy now because you know you don't have to fake anything to get what you want. Feel sad? Cry. You are still God's favorite and your blessings are on their way. The more authentic you are, the faster they will come. You have found comfort in what others would falsely read as "bad signs". There are no bad signs when you are set on the right path. There are only different stations all with their own rhythm, themes and energies. All parts of you are necessary and welcome. Your joy, your fear, your sadness, your frustrations - they are no longer being pushed away, but embraced. That's how they power your manifestations. The more you, the merrier. You can suddenly feel the beautiful relief and cleanse your tears bring, the empowering holy fire within your rage as it propels you forward towards what you deserve, the soothing hum of your tiredness replenishing every cell. No more thwarted sense of self that breaks you - you are perfect and sacred as you are. The less pressure, the more rewards are coming your way. Life flows through you, you are an expression of the divine, and carry yourself accordingly through all phases of life. You will suddenly see texts and teachings reflecting exactly that. You will feel validated in a way you never felt before, but it will feel just like home. Your true home of eternal love and possibilities.

[moonpascal]

IN THE SHADOW OF MEMORY

CHAPTER TWO series masterlist

SUMMARY II WC: 2.1k

After the tense encounter with Theo, you’re unsettled and distracted.

WARNINGS

angst, migraines, anxiety, feelings of emptiness

AUTHORS NOTE

this is more of a filler chapter. this took many rewrites and i’m hoping this is good enough! (although this plays into deathly hollows it will not follow it. mostly used it for the room of requirement scene). thank you for all the love on the first chapter!

Thank you thank you @amiableness for reading this and listening to me stress over it all! i love you! 🤎

You sat at the Gryffindor table, staring blankly at your plate. The usual warmth of the Great Hall—its lively morning chatter and clinking dishes—felt distant, like a scene observed through a glass wall. Harry and Hermione were talking softly beside you, but their words barely registered. Your mind kept circling back to the hallway, replaying the way Theo had looked at you.

The cruel words you’d hurled at him still echoed in your mind. Theo’s eyes, filled with anger and hurt, kept flashing in your memory. You couldn’t shake the image, nor could you understand why it affected you so deeply. It was just Theodore Nott-a Slytherin you barely knew. So why did the thought of him in pain twist your insides with guilt?

“Harry, why was Nott so mad at you?” Your voice cut through their conversation, drawing startled looks from both Harry and Hermione. They exchanged a brief, tense glance.

Before Harry could respond, Ron interjected. “Doesn’t take much to set that lot off. Probably thought he looked at him funny.”

While Ron’s words had a grain of truth, they didn’t fully explain Theo’s reaction. Although Theo wasn’t innocent, you’d noticed he rarely got into fights unless provoked—though no one deserved to be hit regardless of their reasoning. Yet, with Harry involved, and given the Slytherins’ usual treatment of him, it was hard to dismiss Ron’s comment. Theo often stayed in the background, smirking as others were bullied, but he rarely got his hands dirty.

The way Theo treated the other years was something you despised, and you always stood up for the victims of Slytherin cruelty. The frustration bubbling inside you mixed with an unsettling feeling you couldn’t quite place. So you simply hummed in agreement.

Your head throbbed, a constant reminder of the earlier events of the past 24 hours. As you pushed your food around your plate, you kept glancing at the doors to the Great Hall, expecting someone or something to happen. Hermione must have noticed because she nudged you, pulling you back into the conversation.

But you didn’t catch Harry and Hermione’s silent exchange, too lost in your own thoughts. Everything felt off today, your emotions were raw, on edge. Whenever you tried to pinpoint the source of your unease, it slipped away, leaving you more confused.

It didn’t make sense. Nothing had happened to make you feel this way—at least, nothing you could recall. You’d woken up in the hospital wing with a headache and a vague sense of confusion, Theo strangely sitting nearby. But Madam Pomfrey had assured you it was nothing serious—a bump on the head, perhaps a little too much stress. As she gave you a sleeping draught to take later.

So why did it feel like something was missing? Like a piece of your heart had been taken, leaving behind a hollow space?

Harry was speaking again, his voice soft with concern, but you barely heard him. You nodded automatically, forcing a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. You just needed some fresh air, some time to clear your head. Maybe then the tightness in your chest would ease, and the world would stop closing in on you.

You excused yourself from the table, ignoring the worried glances from your friends as you slipped out of the Great Hall. The cool air in the corridor was a relief, and you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

But even as you walked aimlessly through the castle, the unease persisted. It was like an itch you couldn’t scratch, a sense of dread that clung to you.

You leaned your forehead against the cool glass of a window, closing your eyes. You just needed to rest, to give your mind a break. Maybe you’d take that draught soon.

As you walked into class, a wave of whispers followed you, accompanied by fleeting glances. Normally, you were used to blending in—not exactly shy, but not someone who sought the spotlight either. Today, though, it felt like everyone had something to say about you, twisting your stomach with discomfort.

You kept your head down, heading for a seat in the back, hoping to escape the attention. You set your bag on the table, pulling out your parchment and quill with slightly trembling hands. The pounding in your head was getting worse, each throb making you consider skipping the rest of your classes.

You rubbed your temples, trying to soothe the ache, so focused on your discomfort that you didn’t notice Theo slipping into the seat beside you.

When you finally looked up, your body tensed. Theo’s jaw was tight, his expression hard. You knew why—your argument had been harsh, and the guilt that had been gnawing at you all morning flared up again.

You were surprised he sat beside you, thinking he wouldn’t want anything to do with you now, especially after this morning’s exchange. Let alone being this close to anyone outside of Slytherin. But you knew you had to apologize for saying those awful words in the heat of the moment. Just as you lifted your arm to nudge him, Lavender turned in her seat, her eyes landing on you with concern.

“Hey Trouble, how are you feeling?” she asked softly, nervously glancing at Theo. “I heard you were in an accident. I was worried, but was told no visitors.”

You blinked, confusion flickering in your mind before you forced a response. “I’m… okay, I think. It must’ve been a pretty bad fall since I’ve had this migraine all day,” you tried to joke, but the weak attempt didn’t erase the worry in her eyes.

Before Lavender could say more, Theo cleared his throat, shooting her a look that made her quickly turn back to the front just as the professor began the lesson.

You struggled to focus on the lecture, as the pounding in your head intensified. You sighed in frustration, squeezing your eyes shut to block out the lights and noise. The migraine was worse than any you’d had before, leaving you anxious, wondering if there was more to your accident than you remembered.

Just as you were about to spiral into worry, you felt a subtle pressure at your side. Theo had leaned closer, his arm brushing against yours as he reached for some ink.

Normally, you would’ve tensed at the invasion of your personal space, but instead, the warmth of his presence was oddly grounding. The anxiety and pain that had been building all day eased just a fraction, allowing you to take a breath that didn’t feel so tight in your chest.

Whether intentional or not, Theo stayed close, his side pressed against yours, a silent connection that gave you a fleeting sense of calm.

As the lesson dragged on, the professor’s words blurred together, becoming an indistinct hum in the background of your thoughts. Despite Theo’s comforting presence, the tension in your body refused to fully release. You could feel his gaze on you from time to time, a mix of concern and something you couldn’t quite identify.

When the class finally ended, students began gathering their things, eager to leave. You remained seated, reluctant to move, still grappling with the persistent ache in your head and the knot of emotions in your chest. Theo didn’t make a move to leave either. Instead, he waited, his presence steady beside you.

Finally, he broke the silence, his voice low and concerned. “Are you okay?”

You hesitated, wondering why you felt so vulnerable around Theodore of all people. “I don’t know,” you replied quietly, your voice tinged with exhaustion. “I feel like something is wrong, but I can’t quite pinpoint it.”

Theo’s eyes softened, and he slowly turned to face you fully in his chair. His hand hesitantly moved to rest on top of yours, his touch soft and anchoring. It made you feel worse, knowing you’d said such harsh things to him, and yet here he was, comforting you—someone you never expected to show this kind of care, let alone toward you.

You took a deep breath, gathering the courage to say what had been weighing on you all day. “Theodore, I’m sorry,” you began, your voice soft but sincere. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I was scared and angry, but that doesn’t make it right. It wasn’t fair, and you didn’t deserve it.”

You could see him visibly deflate, as if your apology wasn’t what he was hoping for. But he quickly masked his emotions, sitting straighter with a blank expression.

“It’s fine,” he said your name, like it pained him to say it. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

His dejected tone caused an ache in your chest. You’d never had a one-on-one conversation with Nott until today, and it felt off.

You wanted to say something to comfort him in return, but a sharp pain in your right temple made you recoil, and Theo quickly caught you before you could fall from your chair. His touch sent another wave of warmth through you.

“Woah easier there, what’s happening?” Theo’s words cut through as you blinked, trying to focus.

“I’m fine. I think I just need some rest. I’ll see you around, Theodore. Thank you,” you murmured, gathering your things and half haphazardly shoving them into your bag. You walked out of the class, feeling his gaze on you the entire time.

The further you got to your dorm, the more uneasy you felt, your mind racing trying to grasp at something.

When you finally reached your room, you immediately collapsed onto your bed, your bag dropping with a thud as a vial rolled out.

You’d completely forgotten Madam Pomfrey had given you a sleeping draught and took it without hesitation and settled into bed, too tired to notice the faint vanilla and cigarette scent lingering.

The sleeping draught did its job, but only for a few hours. You woke up feeling empty, at least your headache had subsided. The dreams that had visited you were oddly vivid—filled with a gentle comfort and a loving presence—but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t place where they came from.

In your dream, a faceless figure held you close, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, placing delicate kisses on your shoulder. The love you felt in the dream was almost overwhelming, as if it was something you’d known for years. But every time you tried to focus on the details, a sharp jolt in the back of your head pulled you away, leaving you more confused.

You tried to fall back asleep after noticing it was well past midnight, meaning you’d missed the rest of your classes and dinner. Feeling restless, and knowing your dormmates slept like the dead—or with silencing charms—you decided to tidy up your side of the room. It was messier than you remembered.

As you gathered your clothes into a neat pile, you spotted some jumpers and hoodies you didn’t recognize. Frowning, you folded them and placed them next to your trunk, deciding to ask about them later. Then you noticed a green tie peeking out from under your bed. You sighed, assuming it was one of Grace’s latest conquests leaving their things behind, and tossed it onto her side of the room.

Once everything was in order, you turned your attention to the blank picture frames scattered across your desk. Which was odd not recalling when you bought so many. You’d just have to take some photos to fill those soon.

As you undressed for a shower, your fingers brushed against a cool metal object resting against your chest. You hadn’t noticed it before, and a sense of unease settled over you. Gently lifting it into view, you realized it was a locket—intricately detailed, with your favorite flowers etched in gold on the surface and your initials engraved on the back.

You tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge. Maybe it was just designed that way, you thought, but the fact that you couldn’t recall ever owning it puzzled you. Curiosity piqued, you took it off, intending to examine it later. But as soon as the chain slipped from your neck, a sudden wave of emptiness washed over you, leaving you breathless.

Without thinking, you clasped it back on, and the feeling slowly faded. You decided to leave it there, too tired to worry about it out now. You’d ask your friends about it in the morning.

After a long, hot shower, you finally climbed into bed, wishing for more dreams of the faceless figure who had brought you such a profound sense of comfort and safety.

If you enjoyed, please reblog or comment! Your words keep me motivated to write.

dividers from @saradika-graphics

[hotchsreader]

You’re my Last Call

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: You and Hotch had broken up over a month ago. Once he broke up with you, he disappeared, absolutely no contact with you anymore. You didn’t know why, there were no signs he was unhappy until he just broke off everything. Up until a freak accident happens, you thought you had lost the love of your life. What if that was never the case, and he just thought you’d be better off without his sadness?

trigger warning: car accident

read on ao3 here

Now there's blood on the windshield

And there's credit cards on the floor

And I'm crawling out the window of my passenger side door

Your picture's on the dashboard and that's the only thing I saw

You were always first to catch me when I fall

Yeah, I'm sorry you were my last call

- Lyrics from the song 3/13 by Wyatt Flores

Hotch was trying to remind himself of the good days when things felt less heavy and he could have a clear head. These days? Everything felt so heavy that he didn’t know if it was possible not to be stressed out. He had broken up with you weeks ago. Maybe it has been a month already, he was unsure at this point. He knew that his presence was a downer to everyone around him, and you had been too much of a light in the world to let him dull you. He loved you so much, but he knew that letting you go would be the best option for you to succeed.

Everything felt like it was going so slowly. He had left the office about an hour ago and was headed toward the victim's house to do one last walk-through to see if there was anything that the local police had missed. He knew exactly where he was going as he and the team had been there before, so he did not even tell anyone he was going there or put the location in his GPS. He had been paying attention, he wasn't too tired, he had slept pretty well the night before, and nothing but you were on his mind. He looked down at his dashboard, to see the photo of you he kept there. Even though he left, he kept you with him. He always wanted to keep you with him, other than Jack, you were his biggest source of happiness. He had looked down for a split second, but apparently, that was enough time for a far to cross into Hotch’s lane and slammed him into the wall lining the highway.

-

After the car crashed, Hotch couldn’t remember anything until he felt himself on the concrete ground and saw random faces flashing back and forth over the top of him.

“Sir. Is there anyone we can call for you?” They asked hoping to get an answer from the man lying in front of them. They knew there was a strong chance there was a concussion.

Hotch could hardly muster up many words, all he said was your name. Your name and said check the phone.

-

You were at work. Everyone else had started going home, and the law office was closed for the day. There wasn’t any noise as you sat typing your last report on your laptop, it seemed peaceful almost. That was until, your phone started ringing incredibly loud, piercing through the silence.

“Maam. This is Officer Finch. I have a man here by the name of Aaron Hotchner, he was in a car accident. He gave us you to call.”

“Where is he? He is a Federal Agent.”

Before the officer even finished giving you the details of where Aaron was, you had already grabbed all of your things and ran out of the office. By the time you hung up with him, you were only ten minutes away.

Nothing would stop you from getting to him. Nothing that happened between the two of you would make you not rush to his side. He was, and would always be, your person.

When you got there, the first thing you noticed were the lights and the sirens. It brought back so many memories from when Hotch was hurt by Foyet. your heart was pounding in your chest and you just needed to find him to see that he was okay. an officer waved you over, and you saw him lying on the ground. There was a cut across his forehead, and his eyes were grimacing like he was in pain. It was killing you, even though you hadn’t even fully gotten up to him to see him in that kind of condition. He looked almost pitiful. you weren’t sure if you wanted to talk to him because of how badly he had hurt you so you stood and talked to the paramedics who said that it was most likely that he had a concussion, but that he was going to be fine he was very lucky. The person had crossed his lane of traffic and when they did, it caused his car to swerve headfirst into the highway wall.

You heard a soft voice call your name. It was very quiet, almost like it was reserved. They didn’t want to be calling your name. They didn’t want you to know that they needed you at this moment. you didn’t know what to do because doing this was wrong to be an emergency contact on a person who had tried so hard to remove you from their life. One day everything was okay, holding hands laughing together, knowing each other’s favorite orders at the coffee shop, to not even a phone call explaining why everything ended with a snap of a finger.

“Yeah, Aaron I’m here,” you said softly in his ear, as you finally walked over to him, kneeling next to him and running your hands through his hair. That was always a small comfort for him when he really needed somebody he loved you running your fingers through his hair.

“ I am so sorry but you were the only person I wanted to be here, I know I am probably the last person you want to hear from right now.” His voice was still very soft, almost like it hurt to speak and he wanted to tell him to stop talking to focus on getting to the hospital, but you also wanted to hear what he had to say. Selfish as it was, you wanted to know why. Why did he end everything? Why did he act like he didn’t exist after two years of a beautiful relationship, why did he call you now he had his whole team that would break down walls to get to him if they knew something was wrong? Why did he call you a person who genuinely couldn’t do anything but be there for him?

“We will talk when you’re able to form a coherent sentence, Aaron, I'm here now and I’m definitely not leaving until I know you’re okay.” You rubbed his face with your hand, and he pressed his face into your palm.

you sat there as they loaded him into the ambulance and asked if you were allowed to ride along. They said yes, considering it was not life-threatening. You could drop your car at a gas station and they would come by and pick you up to take you with him. you did not want to be where you couldn’t see him, but you trusted the paramedics to take care of him for the five minutes he would be out of your line of sight. once you got into your car, you texted the team. You still had all of their phone numbers in case of emergency to let them know what was going on and your phone started ringing off the hook.

“What is going on?” JJ was on the other side of the phone. her voice made you calm down a little bit. The two of you had become very close friends during your relationship with Aaron and even after he had broken up with you JJ always kept in contact.

“They said that a car came into his lane and knocked him into the highway wall. He was conscious and able to talk, and I went with him to the hospital. I have to drop my car off at a gas station so it wouldn’t be stuck on the side of the highway.” You responded, your voice becoming wobbly during your explanation.

She gulped pretty heavily, you knew this was hard for her to hear. as well. “Do you want me to come up? I’m more than willing to come and just be a helping hand for you. I could be the communication between the team to let them know how he’s doing so you don’t have to constantly be on your phone and keep everyone updated. I can do it for you.” She knew how hard this was for you, and that small gesture would be such a relief, and would take so much off your plate that you didn’t even know how to deal with it.

“JJ you mean the world to me. Could you also contact Jessica and let her know what’s going on? I really don’t wanna have to call her even though I love her. This is just so much and I need to check on him and be with him.”

“Absolutely. I’ll see you soon. I love you.” She said you could feel how genuine she was in the last few words. Meeting Aaron was one of the best things that ever happened to you, but meeting her was a close second. You reciprocated and hung up the phone, got to the gas station, got into the ambulance, and off to the hospital you went. You held on to Hotch’s hand the entire time.

-

The next three hours consisted of people running in and out of the hospital room, checking on Hotch, readjusting him, checking his vitals, and it felt like almost complete chaos. The minute JJ got there you could almost cry out of relief. You needed someone else there, to make this seem like less of a fever-induced dream. To bring you back to reality, almost like a shared experience instead of being alone in a hospital room with the love of your life being poked and prodded by hospital staff.

“Hi sweetie,” JJ says as she walks into the room, tears in her eyes as she looks over at Hotch. You know the two of them are close, he always has talked highly of her.

“Hi.” This was the first time you have heard your own voice in hours and it sounded almost foreign to you. It sounded defeated and hurt.

“Why are you here JJ?” This caused you to jump. Hotch had not spoken the entire three hours until JJ walked into the room. Did he just not want to speak to you? If this was the case, why did he ask everyone to call you? You turned your head over to him, a look of hurt running over your face. He noticed immediately and turned his head away from you to look at JJ.

“You know what, I’m going to go call the team, I’ll be back in a minute. You better prepare yourself for Garcia to run in here with balloons in snacks in a few hours Hotch.” She tried to make the atmosphere less tense before she left, but the hurt and anger in you could physically feel it.

You stood up, walked over to Hotch, and put your hand under his chin, and made him look at you. He stared at you for a minute, tears gathering in his eyes as he did and he tried to open his mouth to speak but you didn’t let him get that far.

“Absolutely not, you do not get to speak right now Aaron Hotchner. You do not get to be the first one to speak after what you have put me through in the last few hours. I get to speak first.”

He nodded at you, tears slipping from his eyes.

“You LEFT me with no explanation. You are the love of my life. I would lay down everything I am and will be to make sure you and Jack are safe and happy. I did nothing wrong to deserve to be deserted. I did nothing, Aaron. I love you so much, I will love you until the day I die. Why would you have them call me? Why would you do what you did?” At this point, you were sobbing, and the last few words that came out of your mouth were gargled.

Hotch raised his hand and wiped the tears from your cheek, you wanted to turn away but your brain and arm betrayed you and you raised your hand up to hold his while it was on your face.

“Honey, it had nothing to do with you. You are the most beautiful, loving, caring person in this world.”

“But then why? What was wrong? What happened to us?”

“It was me. I was bringing you down. I was making everything worse. I didn't want to ruin your life with my hurt.” The last few words were barely a whisper.

You looked up, for the first time since this conversation started, and looked at the man in front of you. He was crying, tears falling down the side of his face onto the pillow. He was gripping your hard really hard, the ring on your fingers digging into your skin. He looked pitiful. He was heartbroken, not just because of what currently happened but because of everything going on in his head. You had wished he would’ve told you this a lot sooner. So much hurt could have been prevented if he had just been honest with you. But you knew this man, you knew he would hide things so deeply inside himself if it meant no one else had to get hurt. You knew he would hide things if it meant you would be protected from the harsh realities.

“Aaron. You are and will always be my world. If something is bothering you, I would like to talk about it. I would like to be able to be there for you if you would let me be. Please, just talk to me. Let me be there for you.” You put your hand on his cheek and he leaned into your palm. His face was flush from the accident and from the tears. He felt, defeated.

“I don’t want anyone to have to deal with me. Especially not someone who has so much to offer this world. I am just a mess of a man. You were the last person I wanted to call because I do not want you to have to clean up after me.”

“If loving you means I have to be there for everything, every sad day, every hard day, every difficult day, I will be.” You said, running your hands through his hair, his favorite.

“I don’t want you to have to do that.”

“Too late, I am already too committed.”

“You know, I was looking at my photo of you on my dashboard before it happened.” He turned his head closer to you.

“You have a photo of me in your work car?” You truly didn’t know this.

“Have the moment we started dating. It's a photo of you smiling at work when I came to visit for the first time. You were so excited to show me around to everyone. Your boyfriend is a Unit Chief in the FBI. You were so smiley the entire time, I wanted to remember that happiness on hard days. So in my work car, it sits, it's comforting.”

“Well, we can take more photos.” You sat on the edge of the bed, he sat up and you leaned into him. You were not going anywhere.

“I love you, you know that. I’m sorry for leaving, I just thought I was hurting you more than I was helping. I thought if you knew how bad I was feeling you would feel responsible or that I would hurt you.”

“I love you more than you know.”

-

After the talk, and JJ called the team to let them know the extent of everything going on, you decided to walk with her to get some coffee. Penelope had shown up five minutes after JJ ended the call with tons of goodies for Hotch, and you let her and Derek sit in there with him while you took a break. Hopefully, he would be okay, Derek could handle Penelope and Hotch needed a friend.

The two of you walked along side each other in silence until you got to the elevator. Once you got to the elevator JJ finally spoke up.

“Want to tell me what happened?” She looked at you sideways as she finished the question.

“Actually, yeah. What he said made me a bit worried and I need some more insight into what’s been going on.”

“I’m all ears.”

“He broke up with me because he’s having a hard time mentally. Has he been weird or more restricted at work at all?” You asked the question as you got into the elevator.

“A bit. I thought maybe it was due to the breakup but honestly it’s been going on a few months. I try not to pry because while he is my boss and my friend, i don’t want him to think i don’t trust him.”

“I understand that completely. I knew something was up, but I didn’t think he’d leave me just because he didn’t want to talk about it. I think we’re on the same page now, but i’m not letting this go. I love him too much.”

“He loves you too, trust me. Your photo is in his car, on his phone, in his office. You and Jack are his world. I honestly think he’s just scared.” As you got out of the elevator together she turned and hugged you. knowing you haven’t had one since this all happened. You loved your best friend, and she always knew what you needed.

-

Hotch was in the hospital for a day. They wanted to keep him overnight just for observation, but it turned out everything was okay. He had a concussion and a few cuts on his head but he was going to be fine. you were by his bedside the entire time you slept there you only left to go to the bathroom or if somebody else came and made you go get a cup of coffee. Usually it was JJ or Derek that convinced you to get up, despite Hotch telling you countless times it was okay to go home. You truly just were so happy to have him back you didn’t want to leave him again.

You both had walked to your car so you could drive him home. Jessica was keeping Jack for one more night that way Hotch could settle down at home and make sure that he was okay and you were going to stay with him tonight, because there was no way you were going to let him be alone.

“You know we have to talk about everything, right?” you said the minute you both got into the car.

“Yeah honey, I know.” He reached over and grabbed your hand and squeezed it hard.

“Why did you do this? I know you’re hurting. I would do anything to make you happy and feel loved and appreciated, that’s my goal when i’m with you. I’d do anything for you.”

“That’s the point, I just don’t want you to have to take care of me. I want to be there for you.” He started looking out of the window, like that was going to make his hurt get up and fly away.

“ Now you know a relationship is 50/50, and sometimes on bad days it’s 20/80. We give what we can, my love, and if you’re having a bad day I am more than willing to pick up the slack.” It was your turn to squeeze his hand, to bring him back to reality and remember that you were here, and that you were not going anywhere.

“I am embarrassed.” You looked over at him to see him, start to cry, genuine tears falling from his eyes, the look of defeat and hurt and embarrassment falling over his face. it was the saddest you had ever seen someone look and it absolutely shattered your heart to see him like that.

“Absolutely not,” You pulled over and stopped the car, “you have NO reason to be embarrassed about having a hard time Aaron Hotchner. You have been through more in the past few years than I could ever imagine. I don’t think I would be up walking around if I had gone through what you had been through. I would not be as good of a man as good of a dad as good of a person if I had been through what you had to go through. you give it your all every single day, whether it be as a father or as the leader of a team that saves peoples lives and every single day. you deserve somebody that not only wants to be with you at your best but somebody that will be there for you at your worst and I will be there for you. Always.” You took his face in your hands and turned him to look at you. He was still crying so you wiped his tears with your thumbs, and looked him in the eyes. You leaned in and gave him a big kiss. A kiss to cement everything you just said. So he knew, you were completely serious.

“Okay. I am sorry for what I've done, but for you, I am willing to try. I am willing to accept my downfalls, and lean on you when I need you. And you will never be my last call again, you will always be my first.”

“I better be.”

That got a smile out of him, and a small chuckle. You kissed him again and started the car back up, put it in drive, and took you both home.

[anjasitdown]

I knew something was UP when the only film that helped Yuuji control his flow of cursed energy was the Lord of the Rings. Our boy Yuuji is TRULY a hobbit at heart. Chapter 265 spoilers ahead, but I'll put it under the cut.

It was back in season 1 when Gojo had Yuuji watch a variety of movies to teach him control of cursed energy regardless of the emotions evoked by the films. Gojo refuted Yuuji's idea that anger and other strong negative emotions are the only source of a strong cursed energy.

With that in mind, I don't think it's random that LotR is the one shown to us that helped Yuuji gain mastery over his cursed energy flow. Sure, Yuuji might've controlled it before watching other movies, but it feels as if it's on purpose that it's LotR, especially that scene at the river where Frodo tried to take the burden of destroying the ring on his own, fully aware of the dangerous journey ahead. But Sam didn't let him and willingly followed him, even if it would cost him his life.

Maybe, just maybe, Yuuji learned to control his cursed energy because he saw himself in Frodo. Yuuji looked so engrossed in the film as if he was feeling it—as if he was Frodo who, just like him, bears great evil within him. Not only that, but Yuuji saw in Frodo's eyes the same crushing weight of responsibility and isolation such an evilness entails. It was as if he's looking in the mirror. But Frodo wasn't alone. He had Sam and the others in the Fellowship who are also willing to lighten the burden he carries. And I think that's what got to Yuuji.

And I don't know if it's just me reading too much into things but Yuuji is at his best when he feels anchored by his friends' support or when they're relying on him, like that time when Yuuji held down the cursed spirit at the detention center to buy Megumi time to save Nobara and escape; when Yuuji and Todo almost defeated Hanami, and my favorite, when Nobara nailed down Mahito's double during Shibuya arc:

As corny as this sounds, Yuuji managed to pull himself from Nanamin's death and attack Mahito because he felt Nobara's presence, which encouraged him to continue fighting. Even if the sorcerers were scattered that time and most were left to fend for themselves, Yuuji didn't feel alone. This was the one thing Geto needed the most when he was spiraling down.

Yuuji reminds me so much of Frodo: Yuuji the vessel of the evilest sorcerer in history and Frodo the Ring bearer. But before that, they were nobodies living a simple life, which they treasure and work hard to keep. They're not ambitious and are satisfied being surrounded by their loved ones. They're the ones we least expect to defeat the evilest entities since they're surrounded by the strongest warriors/sorcerers, who could not defeat the said evilest entities. Yuuji, like Frodo, does not belong to the kind of world he got thrown into, and this is made pretty obvious in the recent chapter.

Throughout the many months Yuji had been with various sorcerers and curse users, his principles and worldview got blurry. He started to assimilate their ideas, which didn't feel like him to be honest. From ideas of having a specific role in life and fulfilling it, wanting to give people a good death, and having a cog mentality to being the same as Mahito and becoming a monster to defeat another monster. That's not him. That's never him. And Yuuji realized that too, and I love seeing him change his perspective into that which feels more like him.

Yuuji never liked fighting others. He may have been blessed with physical prowess that might've been on par with Nanamin, but he never wanted to use it. Heck, Yuuji joined an occult club instead of becoming an athlete. What's important to him are the memories you make with yourself and with your loved ones—choosing to do things, even mundane ones, that bring you and others joy because that's what life is all about.

To Yuuji, there's nothing wrong if you lead a simple life doing things as mundane as walking your dog, sleeping, taking a shit, writing this meta, and existing. Living day to day is already hard as it is. Yuuji wants Sukuna (and us) to know that your worth to live and be loved and respected doesn't depend on the grand dreams you have, how far you've come in life, how powerful and strong you've become, how useful you are. Your worth to live is inherent to you, and no one's going to change that, not Sukuna or anybody else. And Yuuji's not gonna stand idly by and watch the likes of him trample on people's lives. They don't get to choose who's worthy to live and kill those who don't.

I read somewhere that Gege thinks Yuuji having no ambition, unlike Naruto wanting to be a Hokage or Luffy aiming to become a Pirate King, is the story's weak point. But I disagree. That's what makes Yuuji so unique and refreshing to watch as he develops. He may not be as ambitious as other shonen heroes, but he does have a strong moral compass, even as young as 15. It may not be obvious, but Yuuji is introspective, observant, and most of all he has this childlike love for life that the other characters have lost due to the nature of their jobs.

Back to the LotR reference—as much as similar Yuuji is to Frodo—when Sukuna switched to Megumi, Yuuji started to feel more like Sam and Megumi Frodo. No matter what happens, even if it would cost him his life, Yuuji's never gonna leave Megumi alone in despair. Megumi has become weak in mind and spirit that he's possibly on the verge of giving everything up. Still, Yuuji's not going to give up on him. He will destroy Sukuna and carry Megumi back home.

In the end, if Yuuji survives, all I could ever think of is his eyes full of insurmountable despair and mourning over the lives of the people he loved and lost. There's no going back after this. I can only hope that after the end of this story, Yuuji could still find a way to rest—be with a person or in a place—if there is anyone or anything left at all.

[greenhorn-art]

All The King's Horses | As You Are Now, So Once Was I by @samwpmarleau (grumkinsnark)

All The King's Horses [LiveJournal ch1] [Fanfiction.net ch1]

As You Are Now, So Once Was I [LiveJournal ch1] [Fanfiction.net ch1]

Fandom: Supernatural, Criminal Minds

Rating: Teen | PG-13

Category: Gen

Words: ~36,192

All The King's Horses: Protect and Serve. Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity. To what lengths would you go to uphold those oaths? When it comes to a particularly brutal and unsolvable case, the BAU just may have to resort to some more unorthodox methods. SPN/Criminal Minds crossover.

As You Are Now, So Once Was I: Sequel to "All the King's Horses." When Dean catches J.J.'s press conference on the news about a current case and notices a few...inconsistencies, he realizes the BAU is definitely going to need his help. Again. ON HIATUS

About the Book

FORMAT: Letter quarto, flatback bradel binding, french link stitch, no tapes

FONTS: EB Garamond [via Google Fonts], Supernatural Knight [via DaFont], D-Din [via Font Squirrel], Daniel [via DaFont], Permanent Marker [via Google Fonts], Arial

IMAGES: Seal of the FBI [via Wikipedia], Dean's handprint scar [by greenhorn-art]

MATERIALS: 24lb Xerox Bold Digital paper (8.5"x11"), 80pt binder's board (~2mm), 30/3 size waxed linen thread, embroidery floss (DMC #721), 1.9mm cording, brown cardstock, black Cialux bookcloth, gold foil transfer sheet (came with We R Memory Keepers hot foil pen)

PROGRAMS USED: Fic exported with FicHub, word doc compiled in LibreOffice Writer, Typeset in Affinity Publisher, imposed with Bookbinder-JS, title pages designed in Affinity Designer/Photo

.

I first read these stories on LiveJournal back in 2013, some time after I first encountered Tumblr, Supernatural, and the wider world of online fandom. Once I discovered SPNxCriminal Minds crossovers I devoured so many of them. Something about POV Outsider on the Winchesters, the existing connections with investigating monster vs human-crazy cases, and run-ins with the FBI... it's just works so well.

Of all the SPNxCM fics I read and enjoyed, All The King's Horses is among those that bookmarked themselves in my brain. Since it's been living there all these years, I thought it deserved a place on my bookshelf too.

(Rambling below)

Sourcing the Fic

I used FicHub to download the fics off of Fanfiction.net as HTML. Then I pasted them into LibreOffice Writer and created rich text documents of each fic, so I could Place them into Affinity Publisher.

The stories were crossposted, first on LiveJournal and then Fanfiction. I included the metadata from both sites in the appendices.

(It's fascinating to see the differences in the same work between platforms. FFN requires genres, so if the author doesn't add them on LJ then by default there's more info on FFN. But FFN limits listed characters to 2, so authors have to pick and choose the most important. Then there's the author's amusing disclaimers and spoiler warnings for these fics, which are only included in the LJ version)

Shoutout to the author for how they linked/listed their accounts on other platforms! Thanks to that I was easily able to track down all the tags/metadata for the fics, and find them here to express my appreciation for their stories!

Typesetting

Fonts

EB Garamond is my new favourite body font, 11pt as per my usual.

The title page is entirely Arial: 1) it was the closest match I have to the case file prop I was copying, and 2) if it was a government doc they wouldn't be using anything but the most basic fonts.

Headings and the the bullets bracketing the page numbers are set it Supernatural Knight, a free font in the style of Supernatural's title.

The location segments are in D-DIN, the closest free match to the font Criminal Minds uses (which is probably DIN).

Daniel is used for Dean's 'rushed but legible' note.

Permanent Marker for the 'thick black Sharpie' case file labels.

Artwork

Title pages designed as FBI case files, copied from a prop found online (specifically Etsy's propfictionstudios', but it's all over the web so no idea who actually created it). I had fun plugging in all the fanfic/bookbinding meta!

The ID# above the author's name is the FFN story ID, and the date is the date originally posted on LJ.

The handprint used in the headings of ATKH is Dean's scar. I traced off of a screenshot from s4e01 Lazarus Rising. I chose to use the handprint instead of the anti-possession tattoo or a Devil's Trap as my SPN art element because 1) it's specific to Dean, and 2) indicates/reminds that the story is not set during the season 3 Agent Henriksen/FBI arc.

Grabbed the FBI seal off of Wikipedia.

Construction

Both fics typeset and printed separately, then sewn together into one book. Title page for the sequel was tipped in like an endpaper prior to sewing.

Endbands sewn with orange embroidery floss (DMC 721) around 1.9mm cording. I chose orange because Dean's being in jail brought to mind the orange prison jumpsuits Sam and Dean wore in s1e19 Folsom Prison Blues.

Black bookcloth for the cover, like the Winchesters' beloved black '67 Chevy Impala. (I'd wanted a Supernatural reference to balance out the Criminal Minds-ness of the FBI case files).

I'd originally planned to make lineart of the front of the car, and have it stretch across the bottom of the cover (maybe even wrap around to the back). Even found a useful reference to trace [from here], but it didn't look as good as I'd hoped. Instead I reused the FBI seal and swapped out its text with the titles.

(The effect of shiny foiled FBI symbol on small black book reminds me of one of those FBI badge wallets!)

The foiling process was an unnecessarily long and gruelling affair. My laptop served as a massive power bank for the hot foil pen as I spent 2hrs ever so slowly tracing the image, and then 15mins on the author name and touch-ups. Did it need to take so long? Moving slowly, pushing down hard, going over everything at least three times? I'm sure it didn't. BUT I did not want to chance peeling up the foil to check how I was doing and risk shifting it. It was worth it in my books (haha) ‒ I feel giddy and kick my feet like a schoolgirl whenever I see it!

New Things

Used 24lb paper for the first time, and I love it! It's a little thicker and heavier then regular 20lb printer paper, feels more substantial.

The page numbers & running/section headers are along the outer margin, instead of in the header/footer. This was my way around Affinity's buggy-ness regarding pinning things inline in master pages. (More about that below). If I had been thinking, I could have formatted them like the tabs on a file folder and cut the textblock to match. Oh well, the things you notice once it's printed 😔

This time I also started new chapters/sections using text flow & paragraph spacing settings, instead of using a master. As always, there are pros and cons.

Pro: much faster and less involved. (find chapter start, apply paragraph style VS working from the end cutting text, inserting a frame break, unlinking frames, inserting new pages with master, relinking, pasting, and adding chapter title to a different text box)

Con: images need to be added manually (whether by adding image directly, or by applying a master with the image). I forgot to do this for the second fic, so only ATKH have Dean's handprint scar.

Difficulties Encountered

Affinity Publisher is fighting me on pinning things inline on master pages. They like to disappear on regular pages I've applied the master to. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it only works on some of the pages. Idk what's up. (The bullet character only faces one way so I had use textboxes, flip/mirror one, and pin them inline to the page number).

So instead of having page numbers in the footer, bookended left and right by text boxes with Supernatural Knight's bullet, I put it vertically down the side.

Updated Publisher and all my paragraph styles' fonts changed/went funny. Something to do with the update's variable font support, I think. What was previously 'EB Garamond' regular, was now something along the lines of 'EBGaramond-Regular' which isn't a font. Issue seems to have ironed itself out in my original (near-complete) doc while I was busy remaking it. 😐

On the bright side, the update brought QR code generation to Affinity!

[snk-smartpass]

TEXT Vol. 05 Jean’s Textbook

He’d gotten rid of as many of his belongings as possible when he joined the Survey Corps. There was no point in bringing anything like his jumbled collection of notes, and anything he did need he could buy or be issued. There was one item, however, that he kept in his bags because he’d need them to review the basics when understanding an operation.

“…My textbooks, huh. I guess I did leave them here.”

It had been some time since Jean last returned to his quarters. When he opened his bags in the personal space he’d been assigned, something moved him to pull the books out.

••••••

Around the time the old regime had been overthrown and Jean had met up with the main unit of the army…

Jean had been acting separately from the rest of the Survey Corps as a member of the “new Team Levi,” keeping him away from the main unit for some time. His bags had been haphazardly tidied up, just like those belonging to the rest of his squad. Now that much had been settled and he had returned, he needed to prepare next for the new operation to retake Wall Maria. When he unfastened his bag, he found a number of textbooks he’d used during his time in the Training Corps.

“I can’t believe I kept these …”

Even though he’d joined the Survey Corps and found himself in an ever-changing situation, he couldn’t allow himself to be negligent when it came to reviewing his fundamentals… And so he’d brought these books upon someone’s recommendation.

“A Guide to Marching Drills… What does this say about nighttime movement on horseback, again?”

One of these volumes seemed to be exactly the reference material he needed for the upcoming operation, and he casually began flipping through its pages.

••••••

[Seems like this appears on exams a lot.]

“…What’s this?”

The first handwritten words to jump out at him were not his own. These were marks left behind during a group study session for a written exam in his Training Corps days. Jean remembered sitting in the center of everyone, having placed his own textbook in the middle of the desk for them all to see and at times write in as they discussed this and that.

Jean couldn’t remember who the rushed cursive belonged to at first, but his memories of that day gradually began to return to him.

(Armin? No… If it was the person right next to me… I guess it’d be Marco.)

The words were written right-side-up on one side of the book. They’d been penned by someone reaching in from the side.

He shook his head at the memory of his close and now departed friend as he turned the page to find other writings.

••••••

“What’s this one say…?”

Jean couldn’t read the upside-down letters at first. He turned the book around, then gasped.

[Horses can move in other unpredictable ways. Be careful]

[—>Finger whistling, page 54]

The thick and powerful words of caution belonged to Reiner.

The thin and weak words that pinpointed Jean’s weaknesses and noted where he needed to read belonged to Bertolt.

Back then… they were comrades he learned alongside. In fact, it had been Reiner who suggested that he hold onto his textbooks. He had said that while Jean was talented, he had a tendency to rely on the fact. That’s why he needed to hold onto books that would let him go back to basics.

“…He really could see what’s most important.”

The contents of this textbook would have to be solidly in the minds of the two who were now on the “other side.” They would also know how the Corps would move by horseback according to it, too.

In other words… such was the opponent that now awaited them.

“The last ones I wanted to have to face went and became our enemies.”

…So this is what they meant when they said the world is a cruel place.

Jean quietly closed the book and placed it deep within his bags, as if to seal away the memories of the time he spent with the two.

••••••

SOURCE: Attack on Titan: Short Stories 3

TRANSLATION: Ko Ransom

[blarefordaglare]

Fan Joy July day 4

This one’s by @la-sera

Link: https://www.tumblr.com/la-sera/752542158668562432/for-the-single-drawing-request-what-about-legend?source=share

I enjoyed how you used warmer tones and cooler tones to work in harmony (I hope that makes sense) and overall just the color vibe of the piece. I also adore the line art and how you used a mix of shading with colors and hatching for some parts, like Hyrule’s neck or Legend’s cap. Overall the style is really beautiful and bright! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

___

“Alright, enemy camp to the right,” The traveler grinned confidently, a rare sight, yet the same intensity every time, “Want to aim for sub 10?”

Sure it was childish, it was irresponsible, it was immature, but every once in a while one will feel that longing-that call, that can’t be ignored. It was the call that pushed Hyrule to take that sword in the beginning, to realize that living isn’t the same as thriving. It was the call that got Legend out of bed that one night, that got him on a boat, that allowed him to wake up. 

“Heck yeah I do,” The veteran pulled out a fire rod, 1200 rupees was a scam, he should know, he can’t even count how many he has now, “I’m aiming for 9 minutes, max.” 

Hyrule let out a grin, “Just nine? I thought you’d be able to do eight,” He never had any family growing up, let alone brothers, and it only made the experience more memorable. For once he didn’t feel alone, but instead at ease. He felt he could make room for mistakes, and it wouldn’t allow the world to crash back down on him, “But I guess nine is alright, for a beginner.” 

“Oh you’re on.” Legend gave a challenging, yet playful glare, “Relay the rules to me?” 

“Not a scratch, not even a stain, no fighting more than 3 enemies at once, and most importantly,” he took a step back. No help.” 

“That’s not fair!” He never fought alone, well that was a lie, he’s fought alone countless times. But that was in his world, where the monsters were just monsters and no blood that was darker than the night sky plagued them. Now though, that wasn’t the case.

“Three…” 

“Hey wait a minute, I’m talking-“ He got cut off. Another thing about Legend is that he hates being ignored. He’s been ignored all his life, his pleas to spare one more person, to go another day with peace, even to have his bed back. It was too much ignorance to bear.

“Two…”

“Listen!” The sharp tone of his voice alerted the camp. Four bokoblins, two lizalphos, and one moblin. It shouldn’t be a problem-it’s only seven. Seven black blooded monsters that almost killed a guy. All the more fun.

“One…”

“I hate you.” That was a lie, he hoped the traveler knew that. What he hated was the fact he aimed too high-seven monsters, nine minutes. It would have to take less than two minutes to defeat one. 

“Go!”

He ran, allowing his boots to carry him at a high speed. Adrenaline pulsed through his blood as he allowed the hot flames to engulf some of the monsters. Hard ones first, easy ones last. It was a bad strategy, nobody would let him live it down, but that’s what he does solo. His steps were calculated and precise, a mix of muscle memory and an attempt to not get a single drop of blood on him. He allowed instinct to take over for the most part, leaving him surprised when he noticed there were no more enemies to defeat. 

“Seven minutes and thirty two seconds!” The familiar voice of the traveler called, “That’s a new record!” He waved his arms up in celebration, and Legend couldn’t help but echo the action. 

“Aww yeah!” Legend beamed at Hyrule, “Next time you’re going to try.”

“Fine, but for now let’s celebrate.” 

The two cheered, their voices echoing in the clearing. Their voices coaxing out the pure joy that was hidden long ago, a joy that could light up anybody’s day. Waving their arms in the air, basking in the dopamine from the achievement. It was stupid, sure, but it mended the soul in a way no amount of labor could. 

[cedarxwing]

The ending of Hannibal the novel explained

(aka the breastfeeding scene)

Here's the passage (end of Chapter 101):

I thought everyone was kidding about the breastfeeding kink jokes until my partner read Hannibal and the whole ending flew over their head. Their main takeaway was "that was weird." When I checked reddit, it seemed everyone was confused there too. I was gobsmacked to see one guy say that Thomas Harris was playing some cruel joke on the reader by writing an ending that didn't make sense!

How many people are reading Hannibal like this, completely missing the resolution to Hannibal's character arc? They must finish the book confused about what it was all about in the first place. So here's how I understand it!

First, I need to get this out of the way: a lot of people hate this scene, and from what I understand it's because they're weirded out by the "breastfeeding kink." Which is fine, but it makes me want to gently hold them by the hand and tell them that it's ok for someone to suck on a nipple. It happens all the time. Sometimes it just feels good, sometimes it's part of a breastfeeding fantasy, and sometimes it's literal breastfeeding. Between consenting adults, this is all fine and normal. Let's all move past this knee-jerk repulsion (or alternatively, sit in our discomfort and expand our horizons) so we can analyze this piece of art together. :)

Next, authors LOVE Freudian psychoanalysis. Even though it's all nonsense, it's full of literary allusion and makes for compelling narratives and character studies (childhood maladjustment, repressed memories, etc), which is basically catnip for a writer. Thomas Harris was no exception, and probably creamed himself (as I did) when he learned that Freud's oral-sadistic stage was also termed the "cannibalistic stage," referring to the time when an infant is growing teeth and begins to bite at the breast--the psychosexual urge to devour and destroy the thing you love. What could be more appropriate for Hannibal?

Next, consider the pattern of Hannibal's Il Mostro murders. He killed young couples in one of the most romantic cities in the world, then arranged them as Chloris and Zephyr from Botticelli's Primavera, exposing Chloris's left breast just like in the painting. In classical art, an exposed breast is often a symbol of fertility. Chloris is associated with spring, new growth, and transformation.

Perhaps, at the time, Hannibal rationalized these murders as retribution for rude behavior. Maybe the couples were performing disgusting PDA. Maybe they were obnoxious tourists on their honeymoons. Either way, it's clear to the reader that Hannibal has some deep-seated hang up about sex and romance.

The particulars of this hang up are open to interpretation, but based on Hannibal's obsession with the rape and transformation of Chloris as well as his embarrassment at the paintings of Leda and the Swan in the German's house, I think it's safe to say that Hannibal feels like any relationship he has with a woman who isn't aware of his true (monstrous) identity would involve a degree of violence/lack of consent. He is forever barred from normal romance.

Having given up on sex/romance, Hannibal is unable to consciously recognize his desire for Clarice, so he sublimates it into a more general familial love. He longs for a return to innocence, to return to the time before he ate Mischa and became an unlovable monster (cue the teacup metaphor).

But even familial love seems like too much to hope for, so he sublimates it further into something that seems more attainable: resurrecting the person whom he loved and devoured, and who loved him in turn (Mischa) through Clarice.

So we have the breast as a symbol of sex/fertility (Chloris/Clarice), as an object that is loved and devoured (Mischa), and as a literal source of sustenance that must be given up during infancy (mommy).

Big brain Clarice connects all these dots and, in the very same style of therapy that Hannibal has been using on her, distills Hannibal's psychological problems into a single poetic gesture that completely fixes Hannibal in an instant, proving that she's not only his intellectual equal, but is, in some ways, his superior.

When Clarice asks, "Did you ever feel that you had to relinquish the breast to Mischa? Did you ever feel you were required to give it up for her?", she's ostensibly asking Hannibal if he's stuck in the oral stage of childhood development (which yeah he probably is). On a deeper level, she's asking Hannibal to consider if he's given up on love.

When Clarice exposes her breast in the same fashion as Chloris, says, "You don’t have to give up this one", and suspends the drop of wine from her nipple, she is shifting his perception of her breast from familial devoured sustenance to a sexual object. Basically, "Why do you want me to pretend I'm your sister when we could be banging?" Hannibal is being aged out of his childlike mindset, not regressing into one.

There are other layers of meaning in this act. The hedonism of using thousand dollar wine for food play is a sign of Clarice's character development. The way Hannibal kneels before Clarice is a position of subservience, but could also be interpreted as devouring Clarice in a way that's new to him. It's the most self-actualized thing Hannibal has done since escaping prison (LOL) and marks the end of his hero's journey (as one of the first things we see him do in Hannibal Rising is nurse).

Personally, I don't read this scene as breastfeeding kink. Yeah, Clarice talks about breastfeeding, but that was more a metaphor for other stuff. Considering the direction of Hannibal's character arc, I understand this scene as him briefly licking the wine off before they have sex. But to each their own! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANYWAY, yeah, it's unsettling. It's obviously meant to be. But it's beautifully unsettling! Hate it all you want, but this is peak cannibal romance, to me!!

[yunarim]

╰┈➤ summary : you and your reliable partner grim are the most famous interdimensional travelers under the Official Isekai Association. you're used to traveling into psychological thrillers and horrors. however, this time something goes wrong, and you suddenly turn into the protagonist of… an otome game?!

— characters : jade leech, leona kingscholar | kalim al-asim, azul ashengrotto | lilia vanrouge, idia shroud

⌞tags⌝ : gn reader, fluff at times, occasional angst, typical manhwas tropes, mention of a typical isekai manhwa death by truck hit... yeah, you go from the first route to the last (from jade to idia), hence the parts are connected — w.c. : 4.6k+

⌞notes⌝ : i've been reading too much isekai mangas/manhwas lately and here we go lmao. also forgive me for not writing for so long, i've been experiencing a huge burnout ;; i originally intended to write for dorm leaders but then gave it a second thought and came up with another plan hhhhhh i hope i'll manage to finish other chapters on time but pls be patient with me, i'm preoccupied with too much work lately 😭😭

You sigh and stretch out your hand, looking at it while lying on the bed, and wonder, how in the dimension did you manage to land in an otome game realm. You heard your colleagues complaining how annoying those can be, not to mention many of you forgot about romantic relationships long long ago—when you probably got hit by a truck in your original world?—and to think you somehow appeared in a world which didn’t belong to your department. 

Your specialization was horror and psychological thriller stories, and even if you possess no magic (which is strange, given after transmigrating for so many times, you don’t remember getting magic abilities at least for once, but whatever), you’ve got an excellent, strategic mastermind. And if something dangerous happens, you have your partner and friend, Grim.

“It’s been a while since we’ve isekaed into a high school setting,” you say to yourself, system windows appearing before your eyes. 

“Main goal: TO GET A HAPPY ENDING WITH *name*!!”

Ah really…

You set a reminder and throw a quick glance at already fallen asleep Grim before going to sleep yourself. If you can’t escape the world until you complete it, then so be it.

“Event: TO BECOME A SCHOOL COUNCIL PRESIDENT: success!!”

One mention of a school student council you’ve encountered in many worlds (though possessing not really sweet memories of dealing with many psychological intrigues and schemes), and the local headmaster named Crowley happened to be fairly overjoyed and excited to proclaim you as a council’s president, much to everyone’s indifference chagrin. 

You were quite surprised to realize that the school that large didn’t invent such a common structure. On the second note, it was easy for you to operate and deal with information provided through leading the council. Much to your chagrin this time, you needed to pick a route to escape this world.

It was an otome game. You couldn’t care less at first, assuming you and Grim landed in another horror, however a fantasy atmosphere lingering everywhere made you two slightly confused. And the conclusion was made right after you saw heart-shaped indicators above six people’s heads. 

“Do you remember what our colleagues told us about otome games?..” You asked Grim, sitting in the auditorium that Crowley assigned as the Council’s room. 

“Nah,” Grim yawned. “Not my field.”

“As if it’s mine,” you frowned. “What, not even MC’s words? She ended up transmigrating into a closed apartament and had only 11 days to get an ending…”

“Come to think of it, we have 11 days till the festival.”

You raised your head, turning to the voice’s source, and slightly parted your lips. 

“Jade,” you said, standing up. “Good afternoon.”

Jade Leech, to be more precise. You’ve scanned through his profile when you first interacted with him two weeks ago when you ended up transmigrating here in Twisted Wonderland. As expected of a fantasy world, he wasn’t a normal human being, but belonged to merfolk. You don’t remember having much experience with them, and maybe picking him as your first route wasn’t exactly your best choice.

“Good luck on surviving the event,” Grim said, jumping off the chair he was sitting on, and headed to the exit.

“Ah,” Jade’s feigned surprise made you blink at him questionably. “How unfortunate, you’re supposed to help us with the preparations, Grim-san.”

You saw a system window popping up above your head as a reminder of not forgetting your main goal, and sighed.

“Not this kind of event he meant…” You mumbled, knowing exactly well that Jade heard you. 

“How about we discuss the budget, Yuu-san?” Leech took a seat beside you, to which you nodded. 

Appointed as a council’s treasurer, Jade actually managed his sources with an outstanding performance. Since you had no experience in entering otome realms, it was quite hard for you to predict what was going to happen next. Your fellow transmigrators you barely saw in the interdimensional space used to exchange their thoughts on their journeys before traveling to the next world, and somehow you, who witnessed a ton of horror stories, possessed psyche of a solidity, while otome novels and games travelers happened to be constantly overworked and heavily damaged in terms of their minds.

You never asked why. They’ve mentioned the necessity to go through an endless amount of routes and paths, to make people fall in love with them, and then leave them behind in their worlds. You also heard the system was erasing their memories, so they would live happily after experiencing love and joy of being loved, but the system never really cared about the travelers themselves. 

The department you were assigned to provided you with a psychotherapists’ help if needed after coming back to the office, so you would heal after experiencing terrible things and emotional drainings, but your and Grim’s emotional state has never reached the point of damaged position. 

Some of your colleagues even stated that you were emotionless and—

“Yuu-san?” you found Jade leaning closer to you, his face showing slight hints of a false worry made of politeness. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, I am sorry. Let’s continue.”

“I’ll be honest with you,” Leech stood up and came to the bar counter of the Mostro Lounge you’ve been occupying for the council discussions regarding the upcoming festival. 

“You don’t seem like the type to be honest with people,” you let the conclusion slip of your tongue before meeting his gaze you couldn’t decipher. 

“Then would you like to consider this an observation? A remark of sorts.”

“Alright then.”

“Sometimes it’s quite peculiar how you’re so composed and calm for a magicless person who got here in a school of magic,” a majestic coffee aroma filled the room. “Not to mention we’re fairly… uncommon individuals here.”

“You seem quite normal to me,” you answer emotionlessly, closing your eyes. “But you can say my opinion of what ‘normal’ is may differ from others. Yours, too.”

“Then I would be really willing to know how exactly.”

His voice suddenly appeared really close to your ear, but you didn't even raise an eyebrow, accepting a coffee cup from his elegant hands and looked at him.

Normally you wouldn’t want to have people interfering in your business, but a heart-shaped vitreous icon with a pink liquid in it made you widen your eyes in surprise. 

There was no liquid in it before. 

Now that you think about it, yes, your colleagues said there were indicators showing your progress, and apparently you really made it further, somehow managing to get Jade interested in you more than he was. 

“You’ve seemed to be spacing out a lot lately, Yuu-san.”

“Now that the festival is almost here, I guess I’m slightly nervous.”

“You don’t seem to be the type to get nervous so easily.”

You suddenly chuckle with a light grin on your face at his reversed pun and sip a coffee he brewed.

“It’s brilliant,” you compliment his work, staring straight at his mismatched eyes and seeing something in there. “May I ask you to brew this exclusively for me when the festival comes? In order to celebrate our successful and thoughtful work.”

“It would be my greatest pleasure.”

You had no idea about how romance works, but you did know you needed to get on Jade’s route as quickly as you could and come back to the office immediately. You wanted to get the detailed information about how you ended up transmigrating into an otome game, so now, sitting in the library and reading mycology books, you hoped to find something useful.

“Aha!” You exclaimed, summoning your transmigrator’s interface and taking a screenshot of a book page containing a mushroom’s drawing. “This is it!”

A mushroom which could be served as a component of a firework supplement, making it iridescent in rainbow colors right in the sky, which also was overflowing when put in soil. You found yourself smiling at the thought of Jade’s reaction, and headed to the mountain near the school.

Unfortunately, you’ve spent all the transmigrator currency you’ve earned during the previous isekai on preparations to the festival, thus you couldn’t afford any equipment for climbing. Well, even if something happens, you still have the system to save your progress, so you could reload and try again. Thinking about the demerits you could get for being not careful and damaging your body made you cringe, though.

You've reached the mountain, and a deep dark forest loomed before your eyes, a cold and moistened fog made you shiver in displeasure. How unfortunate that such a beautiful colorful mushroom grew in such an obscure place.

You made your way further, checking the map with the system tools, and took one more step to darkness. A small iridescent light on the ground made you rash towards it, and you grabbed the mushroom you were looking for.

“Here you are!” You smiled, grabbing more of them, but…

A sudden feeling of ground slipping under your feet made you scream in horror and turn off all the system signs, alerting you about the danger you’ve encountered. 

Who knew there was a cliff?! 

You tried to grab onto the branches of the occasionally falling trees to slow down your uncontrolled flight, but they were more likely to do more harm than good. You somehow felt someone’s gaze on you, but there was no time to think it thoroughly. You were ready to collapse on the damp ground, but a sudden prehensile grip prevented your fall, and you opened your eyes in a daze.

“Are you alright?!”

You could promise a genuine—this time—worry slid over Jade’s confused face, but he quickly tried to regain his composure. You took a look at his grip and wondered if he’s going to let you go, but at your gaze he instead tightened it, holding you even closer.

“What were you thinking, going to the forest unequipped…”

“Don’t worry,” you’ve tried reassuring him, but receiving only a frown. “I would have survived.”

“Falling from this height?” He asked, his voice raising slightly. 

“”... I believe you’re not the type to worry about others,” you mumble.

“What made you think I was worried?” He chuckled, still not letting you go. “Would have been troublesome if you died on the school grounds.” 

“No,” you answered with a suspicious calmness you’d better hide. “You’re worried. Your pupils tremble.” 

“... Let this be at least in theory,” he sighed. “But what made you come here?”

“Oh,” you sigh and finally unclench your scratched fists and hand over only one mushroom you’ve managed to preserve. “Here. I wanted to give you this mushroom. It’s iridescent and can be used for— Huh?”

Jade chuckled, looking into the sky which suddenly shone pretty bright with glimmering stars, and sighed heavily, finally letting you go of his grip, but holding your shoulders nevertheless, obviously scared of you falling. 

“So you did this for me.”

“Yes, I did, but what… Ah.”

You looked up at his head where the heart icon was, seeing the liquid feeling almost to the top, and gasped. 

So he was genuinely worried.

“It seems you’ve realized something,” he said, fixing a strand of your hair and smiling rather wearily. “I’ve never thought you’re the type to risk your life for getting gifts, Yuu-san. Especially for me, given how actually twisted I am.”

You found yourself giggling softly at his remark.

“I’m the twisted type myself. I believe.”

When the festival came, you thought you wouldn't be able to see Jade due to how busy you two were.

He was busy with calculations, and also constantly disappeared in the kitchen due to the insufficient number of workers, but somehow everything went smoothly.

You were greeting the guests by showing them the area and were up all day long actually dreaming of laying down, while Grim helped with the special effects on stage spraying his blue flames along with the rest of the guys.

Finally, it was time for the fireworks show, and you, making sure everything was under control and the visitors were enjoying the show, went to the roof of the school, dreaming of relaxing on the bench alone.

Being in an otome was tiring you out more than you thought it would, and you laughed at how you presumed you would just allure the love interests and get back home. 

You grew to genuinely like Jade maybe not as a love interest, but maybe even someone closer than a character of another world. 

“Resting here all alone?” 

A familiar voice was heard, but you didn’t dare to look, continuing keeping your gaze fixed on the night sky, knowing exactly well who came.

“Ashengrotto has finally freed you from the kitchen?”

“You could say so, even though Leona-san asked for an extra meat dish I’ve created yesterday…”

“Is that so…” You smiled as Jade sat right next to you, lying on the bench. “The fireworks show is going to start soon, right?”

“Not just soon,” he chuckled. “Right now.”

There were loud bangs just after a thin thread of light pierced the night sky and burst into a bouquet of multicolored lights that shimmered in rainbow colors right under the stars, and you released a smile from your lips, surprised at your sincere joy.

“It’s beautiful.”

Jade silently watched the show with you and then bent over your face, covering the view of a clear night sky when the show was over. An unfamiliar expression on his face made you blink in surprise. 

“It is beautiful, indeed.”

“Somehow I feel you’re not talking about fireworks?..” You questioned, chuckling, and gasped the second after.

The heart icon was fully filled, a bright pink light radiating from it and covering Jade’s cheeks with a slight pink hue. Or wasn’t it an icon?..

“You know, Yuu-san,” Jade smiled. “You were right when you said I’m not the honest type, but right at this moment, let me tell you something.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Thank you for your beautiful gift,” he said. “I’ll treasure it. And also… you.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say something, stretching your hand and touching his cheek, cold because of a night breeze and maybe just because he was always naturally like that, and dared to cover his eyes with your hand. 

“Thank you for appearing in my life. I’ll treasure you too.”

And with that his soft chuckle dissolved in a bright light and system notifications, congratulating you with getting a happy ending.

Happy ending, starting again in your room with a piercing pain in your heart.

“Ah…” You said, seeing Grim sleep peacefully next to you. “So that is why they said otome games are hard to escape.”

Shit, you thought, waking up the next morning. 

You came to the conclusion that it wasn’t really necessary for you to fall in love with the love interest (it was enough just to open up to him?), and weren’t sure if Jade really grew to like you. 

But you definitely came to a realization that it was painful to see him in the hall, talking to his brother and noticing you, nodding in a greeting way with a familiar feigned politeness, a glimpse of warmth, which appeared in your previous walkthrough, was no longer lingering underneath his eyes. 

You found yourself wanting to taste a coffee he brewed for you exclusively, but he was no longer here by your side, his profile image became gray, and a ‘COMPLETED’ line appeared in capital letters in the system interface. 

Was that it? All the feelings both of you developed turned into a finished story without any chance for rereading it? Otome games were unfair. But transmigrating still was your main job you couldn’t decline, and even in thrillers and horrors you used to enter so often there were people who you genuinely liked and treasured.

Still, you knew that once the story ended, you got back into the office and traveled to another world, then another, and another, and… There was no point in developing feelings anymore.

You chuckled to yourself when Jade passed through you, and raised your head, meeting someone else’s intense gaze.

Leona Kingscholar. The system made a melodious sound, letting you know about your next ‘target’. You quickly checked his profile, appearing right before standing in front of you Leona, and wondered, what type of a character he would be. 

Slightly older than his classmates, and he also belonged to royalty, how very interesting. You closed the system interface with a snap of fingers and greeted your next… target.

“Good morning. May I help you… Eh?”

Leona approached you, his face suddenly extremely close to yours, and sniffed your neck, then clavicles and stared at your eyes, allowing you to notice how beautifully the emeralds of his were shining.

“What a strange smell.”

“Excuse me, I took a shower in the morning.”

“Not that,” Leona sighed, a heart above his head being absolutely empty and transparent. “The smell, not of magic, but similar. Also like that fish guy.”

“Fish guy?..”

He was probably speaking about Jade, but how in the world did he manage to sniff that?! Your eyes widened in shock for a brief moment. 

“If you’re talking about Ja… Leech, then maybe it’s because hu just was there.”

“Whatever,” Leona shrugged, sniffing you once more, to which you attempted to distant yourself. “There’s also a dirt smell. And also raining, alcohol, hospital… A blood? What the hell, herbivore?”

Now this wasn’t funny at all. The last world you’ve transmigrated into was centered around a story about doctors, crimes and, well, the usual horror stuff you had to deal with, and how did Leona manage to casually sniff it on you like that?

Naturally, you wanted to get rid of any suspicions and shrug it off, but you also needed to get him on your side and find a way to reach a happy ending with him. A slight fearful thought of collecting people’s hearts like some sort of a hobby slid through your mind, making you nauseous, but you swallowed the feeling and forced a cheeky smile.

“Care to figure it out?”

Leona looked at you with an unreadable emotion and made his way to the exit, leaving you all confused.

“It’s not my business, herbivore. But do something about this smell, it’s disgusting, Savanaclaw students are really sensitive to the smell this strong.”

“As if I can just wash it away…” You mumbled to yourself, following Leona’s distancing figure with your gaze and parting your lips in a surprise way when noticing a little amount of pink liquid in the heart above his head.

So you did pique his interest, after all.

The progress with Leona’s route was incredibly slow and strange. You took the sequence the system suggested automatically, providing you with calculations regarding the difficulty on each walkthrough, and at first you blinked questionably at Leona’s one, seeing only 40%, since now you’ve been feeling all 100%. 

He wasn’t hard to find — the botanical garden was his second alma mater, and yet when his words he said to you the first day of his route lingered in your mind, ‘It’s not my business’ line repeating in your head like an annoying pop song, you almost thought that it really was not his problem at all, as if he totally didn’t care.

You almost convinced yourself, but small steps you took towards him also helped you in discovering concealed aspects of his character.

At first you visited the botanical garden just out of a habit you’ve managed to form in other isekais, and ended up finding Leona there without fail every time. At first you were silent, observing him and his unwavering composure—you thought of that as indifference—but not so long after you took the first attempt to start a casual conversation.

“Leona,” you once said, seeing him sleeping under the tree and knowing he heard you talking. “Do I still, uhm, reek?..”

“I sense the strong smell of that fish guy.” 

How in the world did Jade’s lingering scent still remain on you?

“And also that bat.”

“Bat?” You asked, wondering who he meant. 

“Lilia Vanrouge.”

You knitted your brows together at his reply. You saw Vanrouge only once, right before Leona came into the garden one day, and briefly talked to him. Lilia was also listed among your potential ‘love interests’, but a 100% difficulty level was confusing to you, and the one talk you had did really confirm that he’s going to be a tough character to deal with. To make him fall in love with?..

“I see… I wonder how it works for you beastmen, your sense of smell.”

“Like a second skin,” Leona opened one eye and glanced your way. “I don’t get how you humans live with such a short range of smell.”

“I think that’s only about you,” you suddenly said, meeting Leona’s gaze. “No one from Savanaclaw other than you mentioned what I smell like.” 

A short pause stretched between you two, but somehow you didn’t find it unpleasant, more like relaxing and thoughtful. Kingscholar chuckled, tapping on the spot beside him with his tail and attracting your attention.

“Yes?”

“Come here.”

You did as he said, wondering what was that about, and ended up being held in his arms. He sniffed you once again, but with more care and politeness than he did the first time, while you couldn’t tear away your fixated gaze on his bright focused eyes.

“Those strange scents are still on you. What kind of life did you live before getting here, herbivore…”

“And you said it’s not your business, huh,” you grinned and gasped the second after he suddenly laid on your lap. “Hey!”

“It’s still not my business though.” He answered, closing his eyes and resting comfortably. “But don’t get near other Savanaclaws. It’s really a disgusting smell.”

“Which is why you’re on my lap, am I being correct?” You chuckled. “Still, I don’t think others have the audacity to come near me. Or such a strong sense of smell like you do. You’re impressive, Leona.”

For a moment you thought he stopped breathing, but then heard a bitter laugh coming from his lips.

“One day you’ll take your words back.”

Till today you really wondered what he meant by that, seeing no particular reason to actually question his skills. Even despite his poor attendance and self-deprecating lines, he really was an amazing, outstandingly clever person you really did want to get to know more.

And today an occasion came up, when you visited the botanical garden again, now it was more out of a habit, and found Leona with the first-year students you didn’t know, challenging him in chess. 

“Good afternoon everyone,” you greeted them, hearing excited ‘hello’ from other students and receiving a light nod from Leona. “What are you doing?”

“Miserably failing to win Kingscholar-senpai in a chess match,” one of the students answered. “No one has succeeded yet…”

“Check and mate,” Leona announced, when the first year he played cried out of indignation. 

“How are you so talented in chess, Kingscholar-senpai!!..”

“Hmph,” Leona chuckled, but you somehow knew somewhere underneath his ever-so-mighty persona he was genuinely happy to receive those compliments. “Right, herbivore. Come play with me while I’m in the mood.”

You tilted your head, thinking beforehand. You couldn’t remember the last time you played, but possessing a naturally inquisitive and quick-witted mind due to your job, you nodded, taking a seat in front of him.

The match was silent, and if at first you heard first years hitched breaths, during the second hour passing of the match, even those students left, leaving a silence lingering between you two. 

“I really admire you, Leona,” you dared to break the silence, seeing Leona’s hand holding a chess piece stop for a second. 

“Flattery will take you to nowhere,” he replied, performing an en passant of your pawn, to which you pouted. “Huh, you can be cute sometimes.”

“And you can be sweet, I see,” you flirted back. “But… I’m sorry. Checkmate, Leona.”

Two knights endgame, huh. 

Leona was staring at the chess board for a fairly concerning amount of time before bursting into laughs. 

“W-what’s wrong?..”

“Remember I said you’ll take your words back?” He raised his gaze to meet yours. “Take it now. Tell me I’m not impressive anymore now that you’ve outsmarted me.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, feeling annoyed.

“What are you saying.”

“I can’t believe it, huh,” he laughed again. “You, a magicless human, out of people… Hah! What a ridiculously clever herbivore you are. It pisses me off.”

“You know what? Shut up.”

You grabbed his shirt, seeing his absolutely unimpressed expression, and clenched your fists with even more force than you thought you would, and pressed your forehead to his, chess pieces scattering around the table. 

“Even when you have no one to believe in your abilities, even you yourself doubt them…” You took a deep breath. “I myself will be that one person who will believe in you AND believe you.”

You heard a splash, realizing it was the liquid in the heart above his head filling half of it, and then a genuine laughter came from Leona’s chest.

“You’re insane, herbivore.”

You really were insane, indeed. 

To the point you couldn’t even take a quick look at Leona in the past week due to him being anywhere but near you, which annoyed you for sure. You had a whole month planned for you two to spend together in case his route appeared too difficult to reach an ending, so many things to witness, but instead…

Instead you managed to meet Jade thrice or even more, then stumble upon Lilia ‘ku-fu-fu’-ing at you cheerfully and mysteriously, and all those were driving you crazy slowly. You wanted to have a chat with Jade who portrayed no such interest you used to witness in his route, much to your dismay, but you also wanted to finally find Leona and genuinely get to know him more.

“Oh, Yuu-san.”

You were resting at the school yard, students walking here and there, chatting and playing, and you saw Jade approaching you, nodding to him.

“Good afternoon.”

“Oya, isn’t it Yuu?”

… Jade and Lilia. And no signs of Leona or whatsoever. You blinked at them, trying to conceal your honest feelings, and listened to them talking.

“It’s rare to see you all alone,” Jade noticed. 

“Indeed, you could be often seen in Leona’s company. Did you two have a quarrel?”

“We…” Despite how much you wanted to protest, you weren’t sure anymore. 

“We have not.”

A sudden warmth spreading in your chest and a heart pounding faster than it was made you turn to Leona, who appeared behind your back, and you smiled at him.

“Herbivore,” he called you, shoving his nose into the crook of your neck and making you giggle. “One week of me being busy, and you already have such a strong scent of those two. How come?”

“Look who’s talking.”

“My my, do you have a problem with us?” Lilia obviously tried to tease Leona, but the last one suddenly fell silent.

“Leona?..”

“Yeah, I have one.”

His arms enveloping you made you yelp softly, and an unfamiliar burning on your cheeks made you bite your lips and stare at Leona’s cheeky expression.

“I liked it more when you had an aroma of garden’s flowers on you more. And also…”

A kiss he pressed on your lips was bright, passionate, also confusing to everyone else, and very much awaited by you. 

“That way I don’t need to worry anymore. Care for another game of chess, herbivore?”

You smiled at him, wanting to reply instantly, but the heart icon above filled to its max, and splashing beats of bright light covered your watering eyes. 

“Yes, let’s play one more time, Leona!..”

You… 

You really were growing to hate otome games to your very heart.

© yunarim 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[ebonystarfall]

Can I request a oneshot of Kui Mulang x Jade Maiden rencarnate except they're a demon with koi fish attributes (like the same color scheme as the Jade Maiden but with pretty scales and a flowy tail)

Wolf Fangs and Koi Scales

Kui Mulang x Jade Maiden Reincarnate (Koi Fish Demon)

Created by: Starlight, Owner 2.

Type of content: Oneshot

Point of view: Second

Word Count: 1,089

TW: Mentions of murder, small angst (I wasn’t aware that I had added that in), possible ooc (it could be in character, we just haven’t seen how he is around the Jade Maiden. After all, he was basically featured in one episode.)

A/N: Starlight here. Starbeam (Owner 1) put me in charge of this ask. If you notice a different style of writing for both of us, then you’re right. I get most of my writing styles from reading too many classic books. (Please save me) However, I don’t mind getting to be a little silly on my main account. You can definitely see the clear difference between us 😊

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED

Silence. Irritating, lonely silence. It reverberated in the ears of Kui Mulang. In any other moment, the air would have been filled with screams—agonized, desperate cries of those whose souls he devoured, savoring their terror with a cruel smile. Yet now, only the oppressive quiet of the throne room surrounded him. A weary, disenchanted sigh escaped his lips. Perhaps he had grown weary of this existence. Was it truly so difficult to find his lost love once more? Had the relentless march of Time claimed her irrevocably? Was he merely clinging to a mirage of hope? No, he could not succumb to doubt. He had ventured too far down this dark path to consider redemption. He must press on.

Thus far, his guards had failed to present any new captives. No souls? Kui Mulang assumed that the denizens of the region had received the warning and chosen to keep their distance. Resolving to take matters into his own hands, he decided upon a solitary stroll beyond the palace walls. None would object, he reasoned. Moreover, it had been some time since he last ventured forth, and the diversion would serve to occupy his restless spirit.

A thought unfurled within his mind. What if he were to find the reincarnation of his beloved wandering about? A solemn sigh escaped him as he made his way toward the palace exit. It was a wild notion, indeed, but not one beyond the realm of possibility. Though it was a chance in a thousand, he would grasp it. Kui Mulang surveyed the palace’s exterior surroundings and commenced his walk along the dirt road, his gaze fixed solemnly ahead.

Memories of the Jade Maiden surfaced: her radiant smile in response to his words, her voice as melodious as a harp, and her laughter—that he missed most. It was her laughter that could banish the oppressive silence of his palace. In truth, he had never regarded that cold and dark palace as a home. Nowhere could he deem a home without her presence.

—

He had been walking for quite some time now. The moon had ascended higher in the sky since he last glimpsed it. Lost in contemplation during his quiet stroll, he unexpectedly encountered a river. How peculiar—it seemed unfamiliar to him. Could his memory of the outside world be fading? No, he must simply have overlooked it before. The demon approached the riverbank, determining it was an decent place to pause and rest briefly. Yet, from the corner of his lavender eyes, he detected a movement…or was it a figure?

He tensed, squinting at the disturbance in the water. It might have been a mere fish, but few fish boasted scales so elongated. Kui Mulang called out, his voice tinged with both curiosity and a chilling edge.

“Who lurks there? Reveal yourself, or face... consequences.”

He was greeted by the sound of splashing—yes, unmistakably splashing, farther downstream. Stealthily and with great caution, he traced the source of the sound, and his eyes widened at the sight before him. There you were, a demon resembling a koi fish. Your fins and scales cascaded elegantly, reminiscent of flowing robes in hues of white and sunset orange. He was struck with astonishment. What manner of power did you possess? Who were you, truly?

"You appear troubled. But fear not. I'm y/n, and you must be the owner of the palace not far from here," you said, your smile warm and kind.

He was taken aback. His guards had never mentioned finding you, and if they had, they certainly hadn't brought you to the palace. Your smile seemed innocent, brimming with joy. He felt an urge to shatter your soul and consume it on the spot, yet found himself unable to proceed. Why? Not even a cruel demon like him could answer that question.

“Are you aware of the fact that I could kill you right now?”

“Of course.”

“But you won’t run- or, well, swim away?”

“If you were going to harm me, you would’ve done so already.”

The wolf demon had paused, contemplating your words. You were correct, he realized. He could have struck the moment he spotted movement in the water. Even if you were merely another demon, he couldn't fathom why he had refrained from devouring your soul. Was it because you reminded him of... her? No, that couldn't be. You could never be the Jade Maiden, despite the unsettling resemblance in your smile and the way your fins and tail resembled her elegant attire. The parallels were uncanny.

“Are you aware of who I am? Truly, do you know my name, or what I have done besides being the cause of demise for the creatures in the area?”

“…I was planning on asking you the same. You feel like a stranger I’ve crossed paths with before. Many times, in fact.”

Kui Mulang took a surprised step forward, disguising it with a throat-clearing cough. It all seemed too good to be true. You didn't appear to remember him entirely, but there were hints of familiarity in your manner. Even one memory would be enough. If you truly didn't recall... he would gladly bring you back to the palace and assist you in any way he could. Hope surged within him, albeit tinged with desperation. Part of him wished you would deny knowing him at all, so he could get rid of this false hope and consume your soul. Yet, it felt like you were being sincere. And that genuinely frightened him. Fear gripped him—the fear of losing the Jade Maiden, of losing what he had just found.

With utmost gentleness, he took your hands in his and gazed into your eyes. He detected a hint of surprise in your expression as your hands rested in his grasp, along with a touch of fluster. He whispered softly in your ear, his voice slightly hesitant yet filled with hope, “Who was I to you in those memories?”

“…you were someone that I felt like I cared about, it felt like I loved you. Isn’t that strange?”

A small, hesitant smile crept onto his face as he suddenly enveloped you in his arms, drawing you close in a tight embrace, indifferent to his robes becoming damp from the river. He almost felt as though he were hallucinating from the sheer joy of the moment. Closing his eyes, he buried his head against your shoulder.

“Dearest, I could never think it was strange…”

“It still seems surprising, of course.”

“Ah, still as humorous as ever, I see.”

[shini--chan]

May I request headcanons about Yandere Kaneki please?

Of course, here, have a character sheet. I got a bit carried away, since it has been so long since I wrote somthing for Tokyo Ghoul.

Yandere Character Sheet

Ken Kanaki 

Trigger warnings: implied/references murder, humans are eaten, imprisonment, emotional/psychological manipulation, delusional behaviour, references to depression and suicidal ideation

Attributes - What sort of Yandere is he/she?

One of the cornerstones of Ken's yandere tendencies would be his protective urges. Few people aside from him know how dangerous and wicked the world can be. A person doesn't have to be a particularly sadistic ghoul to revel in bloodshed after all. There are so many ways you could hurt yourself. 

In the beginning, he would be haunted by scenarios of all the ways harm could befall you. He would wake up from nightmares of you dying and feel his heart clench at the thought of you being wronged. Thought of how you could be harmed drives him half-insane with worry.

After his time with Agoiri Tree, these tendencies would only skyrocket. You are his Elysium, an island in a stormy sea, an oasis in the scorching desert. Do you really think he could let anything happen to you? What had once been an unbearable anxiety, uncomfortable like centipedes crawling under his skin, would morph into outright bloodlust. The harmful element would wind up as a blood splatter on the ground.

Of course, part of these protective urges would be based on how strong you are. If you're just a fragile doll, then Ken would want nothing more than to wrap you up in the finest silk and hide you away forever. If you have your own back bone of steel, then he would be relaxed enough to allow you more leeway and time outside. However, even if you are strong, even more powerful than him, then he would still feel protective over you. After all, even the most talented and effective people have weaknesses and openings, even they sometimes make stupid mistakes.

Aside from that, Ken is sweet and often very considerate. He takes note of your wishes and desires, even taking the effort to remember the little things - a book that you offhandedly mentioned that you wanted to read, how you like your coffee, the route you take to work in the morning. If you do, he doesn't even take physical notes, rather dedicating it all painstakingly to memory. That way, you would take a long time to catch onto the red flags, to how he seems a bit too dedicated, too desperate for it to be healthy. 

Yes, he would be desperate and dependent. At night, he tries to tell himself that he would be happy just by watching you from afar, by ensuring your safety while remaining just another face in the crowd. He is too broken to be with you after all. But it is exactly because he is broken that he can't stay away from you. You put him at ease - your mere presence is balm to his fractured psyche and thus he would only grow more dependent on you the longer he would be a ghoul. 

There would be days when he would practically be attached to you by the hip, for once ignoring all your protests and trying to drink in your presence as much as possible, as if you are some healing draught. Lie down with him, card your fingers through his hair and sooth over all his rough edges and your wish would be his command (of course, as long as it would be within reason). This is also one of the reasons why it would never be able to let you go - you’re his source of strength, the reason he clings to life instead of falling to his suicidal ideation. In a way, you’re what Rize (the figment of his imagination, that is)  is to him and everything that she can’t be - supportive, yet not as harsh and biting, present and not in his head. You are something more than just a representation of one of his facets.  

Though, there are still times when he is fractured, when even you aren't able to consolidate the parts of him. Then, he is rash and paranoid and so very restrictive. In some ways, he projects his mental state onto the outside world - when he is particularly fragile and conflicted, then he would see his world as endangered. When he is plagued with doubts, he second guesses your words and reads between the non-existent lines, constantly fearful that you are just putting up an act. 

Entwined with that, is the way he flips between delusional and lucid. Thanks to his rather mild temper and selfless nature, he probably will have developed a somewhat normal relationship with you before his yandere tendencies would really emerge. At times he recognises that what he is doing is unhealthy and even toxic and that all the hurtful words you hurtle at him are warranted. Then there are other times when he isn’t sure of his own identity, or how the world really works. As a coping mechanism, he turns to you and ignores any misgiving you have about your relationship. 

Kaneki is also very much obsessed with you. At night, he dreams about you and during the day he sees you in his inner eye. You come to mind when he imagines what true beauty is supposed to look like. Whenever his mind dares to wander, it wanders to you. His thoughts revolve around you to the point where he finds it difficult to think clearly, unless he is in a fight or you are close by. And having you in his arms is by far the more preferable option. 

Cornering - How would they get you?

Ken doesn’t kidnap you. Not unless he would see that as the only option to keeping you safe. Instead, he tries to approach as he would a friend. With some luck on his side, he is his co-worker or a classmate; that way, it is expected that the two of you interact with each other as it is. Even with his character development over the course of canon, he is still clunky and shy when it comes to you. Well, if things start out as a professional relationship where he is mature and kind and helpful. However, as soon as matters would get more personal, then he would find himself floundering. 

Perhaps you find his clumsiness when it comes to his emotions for you adorable, perhaps you first have to warm up to him (which he would manage to his helpfulness and persistence) but in the end, when you are together, he couldn’t be happier. It doesn’t have to be an official relationship either, it can just be you growing closer and closer, you not even being fully cognisant of the extent of your feelings, or of his for that matter. 

Either way, Ken Kaneki does his best to wrap you up in a normal relationship before the going gets rough. It isn’t really his intention when the nature of your relationship starts to change; it just happens. There is this constant itch under his skin, these constructs in his mind mocking him that he’ll end up losing you. Thus, he pulls you closer and closer, drawing up all the more rules that you have to follow. 

It would start with him being more prying than usual on where you are going and being all the more inquisitive on how your day went. Then it would transition to a tracker in your clothes or one your phone and locked doors at night. And it would end with you only being let out of the house with him as a chaperone or with a person that he particularly trusts.  

Expectations - What do they expect of you?

Ken doesn’t have that many expectations of you, since he has a rather wide pallet of people that would check his boxes. Nevertheless, there are a few things that he looks for in a person and a few things that are absolute no-gos for him. One of those things is a strong sense of justice. He wouldn’t be able to bear a person that is psychopathic and sees other people as cattle or ants to be trod upon. After experiencing so much suffering, as well as seeing so much suffering being inflicted upon others, he requires somebody that can look at the world with kind eyes and not want to hurt others out of some sense of twisted glee. If you are an idealist that somehow wants to turn the world into a better place, then he would be all the more interested in you. 

Tying into that, you better not be hedonistic. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to indulge in the few joys life has to offer, there is something off putting to him about a person that makes their life revolve around chasing pleasure and drowning in it. There is much more to life than a set of actions or experiences that make your brain release endorphins, and you not acknowledging that would just seem cowardly to him. He wouldn’t have anything against you being naive and sheltered - to him there is a difference to being that and willfully blind, or even sadistic. 

Be sweet with him. He doesn’t mind a tsundere, but having to deal with a cynic (even if he is one at times) would just wear him down. At times, he just wants to put his head in your lap and have you card your hands through his hair. Surprise him with preparing coffee for when he gets home, and even if he can’t really eat the cake you bake for him, he would appreciate the sentiment. Aside from that, I can see him falling for somebody working in medicine and if you know that he is a ghoul and maybe go out of your way to smuggle out a bag of blood for him, he would be over the moon. 

Besides that, he has a huge competence kink. There is just something about you being very good at something significant that warms him with pride and adoration. If you write, then he wants to read everything that you bring to paper, and lose himself in descriptions of other worlds. Good at singing and/or dancing? He has countless videos and audios on his phone. Should you dance with him, then you’ll have the privilege of seeing his cheeks flush deep red as you guide him through the motions. If you have a particular talent for something else that isn’t tied to entertainment, then he could spend hours listening to you talk about your field of expertise. He doesn’t even have to understand it to be enraptured, your passion and competence is more than enough to entice him. 

Faded - Would they let go of you in any way?

You could scream and shout your throat raw at him, he would just nod along and prepare some warm milk with honey for when you’re finished with your tirade. He does his best to act unaffected, though your words are the equivalent of rubbing powdered glass over his skin. If you would continue for long or hit particularly sensitive nerves he would break down and cry. But still he would never let you go, as he would tell you. Because don’t you see, none of this is for him, it is all for you! 

So no matter what you do, no matter how much what you say amplifies his self-hatred, he would keep you by his side. That being said, there are still two circumstances where he would let you go. 

The first is if he comes to the conclusion that you are safer away from him rather than by his side. This would be due to you being endangered by proxy to him. The last thing he would want would be for you to die in the crossfire in a fight with the CCG or another ghoul faction, or, heavens forbid, be targeted as a means to hurt him. 

The second would be him forgetting you. When Ken Kaneki becomes Haise Sasaki, he forgets you, at least when it comes to conscious memory. Though watch out! As soon as he would smell you or see you again, he would find himself drawn to you again. 

Punishment - How would they proceed if you do something they disapprove of?

On average, Ken isn't big on punishments. He sees himself as your protector and guardian, and what sort of protector would he be if he can't protect you from himself? Perhaps as the Centipede he would more deliberately punish you. Else, in his mind he only takes measures to protect you, and if they are harsh, then so be it. It is clear that you are too reckless and naive and optimistic so you need a minder that isn't reluctant to make tough choices. 

If you are too carefree and prone to venturing around, he'll imprison you in your shared apartment. Hanging out with people he doesn't approve of? Suddenly you are hearing stories of how they are terrible, good for nothing people. He'll lock away all the knives and anything you can hurt yourself with if you try to fight, and baby you if you self-harm. After trying to escape, he'll forbid you from watching TV or reading books, citing that your overactive imagination caused you to do something so foolhardy. 

Protest will seem to fall on deaf ears. Sometimes they will but other times they'll be carefully filed away so that he can lose sleep due to them. You are always on his mind, after all, the good as well as the bad. 

Reaction - How would they react to you escaping?

Panic, full blown panic. That is what he'll experience at first and the younger he is, the longer the panic attack will last. He'll dash around your shared living space, just hoping his panic is unwarrented and you just hid yourself away in one of your tantrums. His searching becomes more frantic and destructive the longer you remain undiscovered.

Eventually, he'll force himself to make a cup of coffee and sit down. Kaneki will do his best to piece together the various variables: When did you leave? What did you take with you? Which places are you most likely to run to? Are there any people from your past life that you still place a lot of trust in? 

He will try his best to put himself in your shoes in order to anticipate your past, current and future choices and thus successfully track you down. Depending on which phase of his life he is currently in, there will be differences.

The shy Ken Kaneki that he is in the beginning of canon handles it like a teenage boy looking for his crush or friend. Checking social media, asking around, quietly loitering around places where he thinks you'll pop up. The Centipede is far more violent and far more desperate to get you in his grasp again, therefore the police and the CCG will find a lot of corpses, courtesy of his quest to find you again. As Haise Sasaki, he has far more resources and is calmer. In that case, he can cook up an excuse to have you very officially hunted down and dragged before him. 

The end is always the same - him fussing over you like a mother hen, obsessively checking you for injuries and chiding you. After that incident, he’ll vow to keep a closer eye on you. You’ll be kept on an even shorter leash, with him being far stricter about rules and such in comparison to before your escape attempt. In his eyes, it came to you running away because he was far too lax with rules and vague about his intentions. 

Turnabout - Scenario: You have the upper hand? What would be different from their usual MO? 

Actually, not much world change, on the surface at least. In some ways, he wouldn’t mind you taking the steering wheel and allowing you to play the dominant partner in the relationship. If anything, being taken care of and having to relinquish control to you would be a new yet not unwelcome experience for him. At first, he would be worried and nagging, wanting to wriggle his way into being the one that takes care of you, the one that makes sacrifices yet he would slowly learn to enjoy taking the back seat. That is, of course, if the two of you would stick to being in a romantic relationship. However, don’t think he’ll allow you to get away. If anything, he might become so used to being taken care of, that he’ll not allow you to get rid of him. 

On the other hand, if you become his captor and he your captee, he would have a lot of mixed feelings. In many ways, he would understand your urges to harm him and restrict his movements. After all, he had wronged you and in retrospect, he would realise that he might have been too harsh and condescending. That would make him vow to learn from his mistakes and treat you with more dignity, should he manage to turn the tables again. Because even if you would harm him, he would still continuously forgive you, because you forgive the people that you hold dear, or not?

Vengeance - What would they do in the face of competition?

Ken is insecure as it is and having a rival would only make this worse. Though it wouldn't have the intended effect of making him back off, rather it would make him all the more determined. Though, depending on which stage he is currently in, there are vast differences on how he deals with rivals. 

As Ken Kaneki, the original, shy and timid Ken Kaneki, who has just become a ghoul or will soon become one, he’ll be much more shy. There is something all too tragic about the way he pines after you, in the manner a mediaeval knight would have pined after a lady of noble standing, a love that could never be mutual and fulfilled. Though, at times the depth of his passion will even spur him to action! It is surprising to everybody, even him and therefore he has a lot of plausible deniability in the case law enforcement comes knocking. It would sicken him to the core what he does to have you, and all the while he carries the heavy regrets in his heart, but it is all worth it as long as you are safe. Though, that is just when his emotions get the better of him, an absolute last resort. Else, he will try to convince you with shy words and texts in the middle of the night that your current paramour just isn’t compatible with you and that you deserve better. 

As The Centipede, he is far more ruthless. After all, he does know what is best for you at the end of the day. So when he determines that the man that is currently in a relationship with you, or is bringing you flowers and chocolates every other day in an attempt to woo you, is bad for you, then the unlucky fellow must go. If he is feeling particularly frustrated and just must get the point over to you, then he waits to kill the offender right in front of you. Of course, that is if he can’t talk to you about his issues with you. Else he expects you to know that his arms are the safest to be it, and for you to reject any advances. It just might be that the one or the other is particularly pesky and persistent and needs to be taken out. 

As Haise Sasaki, his plans are more complex. He has a reputation and a hell lot of resources to fall back on. As such, he tries the easy route first and foremost - talking to you. Of course, you might very well not be convinced by his word alone and then he’ll do some digging to drag the skeletons that certain person has in their closet forth. Maybe he’ll get other people to talk to you, to offhandedly mention and discuss the various flaws of his opponent with you. As much as he might want to kill his rival, he can’t make it too obvious. Perhaps that person will then be sandwiched between two warring parties and wind up as collateral damage, or be the victim of a violent crime in a far away city, or are found dead by a suicide hotspot. It takes much to get Haise to take his rival into a back alley or out into the country in order to make short work of them. 

In all scenarios he feels a twinge of guilt, but does his best to stamp it out with thoughts about you - your safety, your love, your happiness, you, you, you. 

Art is not mine: from Irina Vinnik and other artists

[rooksamoris]

I just read your thoughts about Scarabia and Leona's arc development in game, and I got very interested.

There's very little info on Arabian culture online, at least that I've seen, and also African. A thing that makes me very curious is about their mythologies, folklore, and also music. We know a lot about food, since it's something so universal, but the rest is hard to get info on, unless it gets popularized or romanticized by someone else.

The scarabia arc is one of my favorites for a reason, and that is because I'm very sympathetic with Jamil, and very sad how his and Kalim's story together got so "twisted" so fast (ehe). Honestly there are so many layers to it that it would take many many chapters, and events, to close the situation. But I think it's good they left the future open like that, since it's something that can't be fixed overnight.

And also, *gets down* PLS PLS PLS PLS 🙏 I love the fluffy fics, are you going to also add Bolllywood songs? They are so good seriously it's so dancing and fun! I love Jamil so much and I MELTED with the headcanon short fic where we are taking care of him. I wanna hold his precious handsome face and just kiss it all over! He is so cute I will go FERAL-

hey qamar 💕 this was a pleasure to read! honestly, i feel like both the scarabia and savannaclaw chapters were too short? of course, we were introduced to the themes and then the whole conflict—resolution mountain for stories, however i just feel like they could have done more with the both of them.

also, i think the reason why the southwest-asian and african themes aren’t covered is because the source material is literally disney films 💀 like we get a warning before rewatching aladdin since they just now realized it was kind of racist (still a major part of my childhood though 😭 “a whole new world” in arabic is delicious). based on how yana has written other characters that are meant to be from south asia, there’s a big chance it would have been disappointing anyways.

plus, with scarabia in particular, there’s too many cultures trying to be represented due to how colonizers deemed all of the countries to be the same thing in different fonts 💀 you’d never confuse a nepali with an omani, but winston churchill sure did not care.

the original aladdin movie was meant to take place in baghdad, a city in iraq, but due to political conflicts at the time (george bush a war criminal regardless of saddam hussein’s crimes. the usa literally gave saddam weapons to kill kurds and then turned around and invaded when he wasn’t convenient anymore 💀). baghdad became agrabah—but the culture is still an amalgamation of west asian, south asian, north african, and like eurasian/turkish culture. im sure they’ve got stuff from central asia too 😭

the issue with this is that from ethnic group to ethnic group/country to country, the culture varies a lot. yemenis and palestinians are both arabs, but our cultures are vastly different, with yemenis having more eastern african influences and palestinians having mediterranean influences. i personally headcanon the scarabia duo as arab, but honestly, they could be from anywhere. for all we know, kalim is afghan and jamil is tunisian—it’s all up in the air due to the original source material. but i digress!! i rambled a lot 😭

ON THE BOLLYWOOD NOTE! omg this brought so many good memories back. we used to watch bollywood films with shitty arabic dubs 🥹 i miss those days. i love that idea and ive always wanted to write bollywood inspired fics, like based on the crazy and unrealistic romantic moments in bollywood. it’s just so much fun lmao. honestly, i think that’s a great idea especially when so many bollywood songs just lead the listener through a story anyways. im so glad you enjoy my fics!!! that’s very sweet 💕 have a great day, qamar, and take care of yourself

[saline-coelacanth]

A Quick Visit to the Crossroads

(Surprise one shot based on that one concept of Cole fighting Jay that I posted about a while ago. You know, this post right here. But yeah, I also posted this to ao3. Spoilers for s2p2)

Read on ao3

Summary: Cole feels bad about leaving Jay behind at the Tournament of Sources, so Geo decides to try and make him feel better with a trip to the Crossroads. Things go well until Cole runs into his old friend again.

Word Count: 2,822

_______________________

The Tournament of Sources had left a bit of a sour taste in everyone’s mouth for various reasons. Sure, they had gotten Kai back, but Arin was gone. The Forbidden Five were also all free now. But for Cole, the main thing on his mind was Jay.

Jay had always been Cole’s best friend. The two of them were extremely close and Cole would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed him. But he never worried too much over Jay. He was a competent ninja, he’d be fine on his own. It wasn’t until he saw him at the tournament and the realization of what had happened hit Cole like a truck.

Jay had lost his memories. Even worse, Ras found him before the ninja could and he fed the former ninja lies to poison his mind. But the absolute worst part of it all was when Jay and Nya fought in the tournament and Jay resorted to using Shatterspin, shattering his soul in the process. Watching that fight stuck with Cole and he couldn’t get the images out of his mind ever since.

“You seem upset,” Geo commented as he picked up the dirty dishes.

Cole had come to visit the finders after the tournament. He was trying his best to seem upbeat for the sake of the finders, but clearly that wasn’t working.

“You can tell, huh?” Cole questioned while he sat at the table.

“What’s on your mind?” Geo asked. “I can’t help but notice you’ve seemed like this since the tournament ended.”

“I just keep thinking about Jay,” Cole explained. “I should have gone after him, or tried to say something to him. He’s my best friend, I should have helped him! We should have gone looking for him before Ras could find him!”

“You had no way of knowing what happened to him,” Geo reminded. “And you guys were dealing with some world ending type stuff. You had to pick your priorities.”

“You’re right…” Cole agreed. “But it still feels wrong saying that Jay wasn’t the highest priority.”

Cole took a sip of his tea as he stared down at the table. Geo frowned as he realized Cole’s mood wasn’t gonna be changing any time soon.

“Nya and Kai said they were gonna go look for him, right?” Geo asked.

“Yeah, that was their plan,” Cole replied. “Maybe I should have gone with them.”

“I mean, do you really want too many people going after Jay? You guys are kind of important heroes. What if that Ras guy comes back or the Forbidden Five become a real problem?”

“Ugh, you’re right,” Cole groaned. “Why can’t there just be an easy solution for everything?”

Geo thought for a moment. He completely understood why Cole was so upset and he didn’t blame him at all, but he also hated seeing him like this.

“Hey, why don’t we go out for the day?” Geo suggested. “Maybe get your mind off of things?”

Cole looked up at Geo. “You sure that would be fine?” he asked. “I don’t wanna leave Fritz and Spitz alone.”

“Bonzle can watch them,” Geo assured. “They’ll be fine for a few hours.”

Cole gave Geo a skeptical look as he knew just how mischievous Fritz and Spitz could be.

“Ok, they’ll probably be fine for a few hours,” Geo corrected. “Come on, you look like you need a good day to go out and have some fun.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” Cole said. “We could go to the Crossroads. You haven’t been there yet, have you?”

“No, I haven’t really been anywhere since the fog cleared.”

“Then we have to go!” Cole decided. “You’ll love the Crossroads!”

Geo smiled softly as Cole’s mood had quickly changed. “Alright, the Crossroads it is.”

______________________________________________

Cole himself had only been to the Crossroads a few times, but he immediately knew that he wanted to bring Geo there sometime. As soon as they got there, Geo was mesmerized by all the architecture and the variety of people wandering the streets. It was a similar feeling to what he felt when he arrived at the Tournament of Sources. Geo had a big smile on his face the whole time, and seeing Geo happy made Cole feel happy.

“You know they have some pretty good pies here,” Cole mentioned, clearly trying to suggest they go get food.

“Better than the ones the tournament had?” Geo asked.

“Eh, probably about the same in my opinion,” Cole admitted. “I don’t usually have strong opinions about pie.”

“Yeah, because you’re a cake guy,” Geo said.

Cole let out a longing sigh. “Oh, I could go for a nice cake right now,” he commented. “But no, we already decided on pie.”

Geo let out a soft chuckle. He always found Cole’s sweet tooth to be endearing.

The two of them made their way to the pie shop and got a couple of slices to go. They continued their walk through the Crossroads, the two of them enjoying their time together greatly. Cole had managed to forget about why he had been so upset that morning. That was, until he spotted a certain someone wandering around.

Cole and Geo were in the middle of a conversation when Cole suddenly went silent. Geo immediately knew something was wrong as he saw Cole’s expression turn grim.

“Cole?” Geo questioned. He turned to follow Cole’s gaze and his eyes went wide once he recognized the Master of Lightning off in the distance. “Is that…?” Geo questioned.

“Jay!” Cole called out, quickly running after him.

“Wait, Cole!” Geo yelled after him, but Cole was already sprinting away.

Cole continued running towards Jay, calling his name out to try and get his attention, but he seemed unfazed. It wasn’t until Cole got close that Jay actually reacted.

“Jay!” Cole called out again, only for Jay to whip his head around, shooting a lightning bolt towards him. Cole froze up as the bolt just barely shot past him. However, Jay wasn’t finished yet as he retaliated with a kick right into Cole’s gut.

Cole winced and fell onto the ground before looking up at Jay who was now standing over him. Jay’s eyes were wide at first before they narrowed into a glare.

“You,” Jay said with a cold tone.

“Jay!” Cole quickly scrambled onto his feet. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Jay retaliated. “Are you ninja following me?”

“What? No,” Cole denied. “I mean, I guess yeah, we have been looking for you, but not because of any malicious reason!”

Jay had a look of disgust on his face as Cole continued talking. Before Cole could finish explaining anything, Jay simply turned and began to walk away.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Cole questioned, but Jay didn’t answer. “Jay, listen to me!” Cole followed him, grabbing him by the wrist, which turned out to be a big mistake.

Jay immediately sent a massive shock through Cole’s body which instantly got him to let go.

“Leave me alone!” Jay shouted. “You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You’re trying to manipulate me! You want to tell me lies to get me on your side!”

“No! Jay, you’re a ninja,” Cole tried to reason with him. “Ras was the one who manipulated you! He’s the one who told you lies about who you were!”

“Why should I believe anything you have to say?” Jay asked.

“Because you’re my best friend, Jay,” Cole insisted. “You may not remember it, but we’re the best of friends! We’ve always been so close, you have to believe me.”

Jay didn’t seem moved at all as he continued glaring at Cole. He shook his head and attempted to walk away again. However, there was no way Cole would give up so easily. Without warning, Cole grabbed Jay again, this time picking him up and carrying him over his shoulder.

“Wha- Hey!” Jay yelled. “Put me down!”

“Not until you listen to me!” Cole argued as he carried Jay away.

Jay grumbled angrily and attempted to send another shock through Cole’s body. And although it hurt, Cole simply pushed through the pain.

“What?” Jay questioned.

“Heh, I’ve trained with you for years,” Cole said, only a slight tiredness in his voice. “It’s gonna take more than one shock to slow me down.”

Jay tried again and again to electrocute Cole, but for some reason the ninja kept going. That was, until they had reached their destination.

Cole finally put Jay down after they had entered a tent. Cole took a moment to catch his breath as it was clear that Jay’s attacks did indeed take their toll on him.

“If you think that I’m going to listen to you after you kidnapped me,” Jay started yelling, “then you’re-” Jay went quiet as he looked around the tent. There were various portraits displayed, each of them showing one of the ninja. Jay froze once he recognized his own face amongst the photos.

“You’re one of us, Jay,” Cole insisted.

“What… what kind of trick are you trying to play on me?” Jay questioned.

“This isn’t a trick!” Cole argued. “The people of the Crossroads made this little shrine to honor us. Lloyd told me all about it. Back before the merge, we were the protectors of Ninjago, and then when we all went missing, this little shrine was built. Now why would they include your picture with ours if you weren’t part of our team?”

Jay was completely silent as he tried to process. He then started laughing, something that felt familiar to Cole. Cole’s smile began to return as he heard that familiar laugh.

“I’ll admit, this is pretty elaborate,” Jay commented.

Cole’s smile immediately faded. “What?”

“Setting up this whole thing to try and trick me?” Jay continued. “You must be really desperate to make me look like an idiot!”

“Jay, this isn’t a trick!” Cole argued. “Why would I go through all this effort just to lie to you?!”

“Because that’s exactly what you ninja do!” Jay shouted. “You lie and manipulate to get your way! And I did NOT escape from years in the Administration wasting my life just to be used as a little pawn!”

In his anger, Jay began to prepare an electrical blast, shooting it towards Cole. This time however, Cole created a wall of earth to block the attack. Jay seemed somewhat surprised to see Cole block his attack so easily. He let out an annoyed grumble.

“I already told you, Jay,” Cole said, “we’ve trained for years together. I know how to deal with your lightning.”

Jay began to angrily shoot more bolts of lightning at Cole, and Cole managed to block each and every one of them.

“I don’t want to fight you, Jay!” Cole insisted. “You’re my best friend!”

“Shut up!” Jay shouted, his voice full of nothing but pure hatred. He shot one last blast at Cole before he stopped to catch his breath. Cole also seemed tired, but Jay was breathing much more heavily.

“A little out of practice, huh?” Cole said, somewhat teasingly.

“You have no idea what you’re messing with,” Jay replied, his voice sounding sinister.

Cole gave Jay a confused look as he had no idea what he meant by that. He felt even more confused as he saw Jay begin to snap his fingers, tiny bolts of lightning shooting with each snap. He had never seen Jay do something like this, and after a few snaps, a familiar red streak sparked off of his lightning which filled Cole with dread.

“What?” Cole questioned.

Jay grinned and snapped one last time as more red energy sparked from him. His eyes began to glow a bright red as the sinister energy surrounded his body. He then gave Cole zero time to react as he dashed towards him, knocking him away with ease.

Cole flew out of the tent, crashing into a hard wall outside. Jay then jumped out after him, shooting a blast of lightning at the ninja. Cole screamed out in pain as Jay attacked him. Cole then fell forwards onto the ground and tried to catch his breath.

“How… how did you…?” Cole questioned weakly.

“Perform Shatterspin?” Jay replied before snickering. “Easy. I’ve been practicing since Ras sent me away. I needed to become stronger, and figuring out Shatterspin on my own is the key to that.”

Jay dashed at Cole again, knocking him away to crash into another wall. Jay kept doing this same move over and over again, knocking Cole around the buildings like he was playing a game of tennis with himself. Cole grunted in pain at each strike. Finally, Jay threw Cole back towards the tent that this fight had started in.

Cole crashed into his own portrait, knocking it onto the ground along with the candles that were on display. It didn’t take very long for things to catch on fire. Cole slowly stood up and looked behind him as he saw his own face burning away. Cole then felt paralyzed in fear as he felt the presence of someone standing over him. Cole looked up at Jay’s burning, red eyes glaring back at him.

“Jay… please…” Cole pleaded, not knowing what else to say.

Jay smiled as he readied another bolt of lightning in his hand. But before he could finish Cole off, he felt a sharp pain stabbing him in the back.

“AGH!” Jay screamed out in agony.

“You stay away from him!” Geo yelled as he stabbed the makeshift weapon into Cole’s attacker.

Jay fell onto his knees in pain as Geo quickly ran over to help Cole off of the ground.

“Geo?” Cole questioned weakly.

“We gotta get you out of here,” Geo urged as he helped Cole out of the tent.

“But Jay… he…” Cole insisted.

“He’s too dangerous,” Geo said. “I’m sorry, but we have to leave him.”

Geo helped carry Cole away from the burning tent. And as much as Cole wanted to argue, as much as he wanted to rush back after Jay, he knew he couldn’t. The risk was too high, and he had to make sure he didn’t get himself killed.

Jay grabbed at the weapon that was still sticking out of his back. He braced himself before pulling it out, throwing the bloody weapon onto the ground. He then immediately covered the wound with his hand, a weak attempt to stop the bleeding. He looked around the tent as everything was one fire. His gaze then shifted over towards the portrait of the lightning ninja. Somehow, it was the only thing that hadn't caught on fire yet. Jay narrowed his eyes before shooting out a bolt of lightning, making sure that photo burned along with everything else around it.

Jay stumbled out of the tent. He looked around angrily as he realized Cole had gotten away. He shook his head, realizing he had much bigger issues to deal with, most notably the stab wound he had just received. He’d just have to finish that ninja off another day.

______________________________________________

Once things had calmed down a bit and Cole had received some medical attention, Geo took him back home to the Land of the Lost Things.

“You had me worried back there,” Geo admitted. “I lost you in the crowd after you ran after Jay.”

“I’m sorry, Geo,” Cole apologized. “I just panicked.”

Geo was bandaging some of Cole’s wounds that hadn’t gotten fully patched up just yet. He tried his best to be gentle as he was never the best with this type of thing. Cole was always better at medical stuff, probably from his years of being a ninja.

“He left you in bad shape,” Geo said.

“I know…” Cole mumbled. “He used Shatterspin…” “I thought you needed that special gong thing to use Shatterspin?” Geo questioned.

“I thought so too,” Cole replied. “But somehow he figured it out on his own… And now he’s definitely in worse condition than ever.”

“Hey, let’s focus on you right now,” Geo said, looking Cole in the eyes. “You could have died back there.”

“Yeah, but Jay-”

“You guys are going to find Jay,” Geo assured. “And you’ll find some way to get his memories back, and then all of this will be a distant memory. Look, if the stories you told me were true, then I have no doubt you’ll find a way to fix things with him.”

Cole didn’t respond immediately, he just slowly looked away. “Thanks, Geo,” he said quietly.

Geo frowned before gently holding Cole’s hand. “Sorry I had to stab your best friend back there.”

“It’s fine, I understand,” Cole assured. “It was either him or me.” Cole let out a long sigh. “But one thing’s for sure. If I’m gonna run into Jay again, then I need to learn how to use Rising Dragon.”