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Y'ALL. Y'ALL so for a long time I've believed that "the sun" in Meursault's story is Carmen, and I went to check Hell's Chicken's dialogue to see exactly how he said that he'd dealt with distortions before, and... you know what else he said?
To my knowledge, it is a phenomenon where an individual morphs into a form often unfit to be considered “human”. It has no known causes, and the appearances were all different.
Unfit to be considered human.
Meursault, who, in his book, was judged by the court to be soulless.
Meursault, who has EGO for Cyborgs who have been so mutilated they barely act like people anymore; a murderer who was experimented on until ceasing to be human; a sheep named after Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, a novel about the humanity of androids and the inhumanity of humans; and now a rose that can't help its bloodsucking nature, based on Carmilla, a vampire whose story emphasized the duality between her vampiric traits and her human ones.
Meursault, who answered Heathcliff's ironic question of if he had metal for brains like this:
I'm placing my bets now, that line from Hell's Chicken is foreshadowing for Meursault's canto even more than "I have witnessed a number of [distortion] cases in the past" was
#limbus company#project moon#meursault#sorry of my info on carmilla is off i still havent read the book#me post#CLARIFYING IN THE TAGS: MEURSAULT IS HUMAN#it would be a disservice to his character and honestly pretty gross if he ended up not being human#the entire point is that he IS human and that other people perceive him as otherwise because of how he behaves#so I guess theoretically if he did distort it would exacerbate the issue?#extremely speculative but there are distortions who can behave pretty normally while distorted#like the marksman of the mist (and also some of the reverb ensemble but those people are all full of issues WAYYY bigger than marksman was)#if meursault was one of those...#someone calling him unfit to be human. it's fine it definitely won't leave a scar on his psyche#i think in his canto there might end up being something about how even though people don't see distortions as humans#distorting is a very human thing to do#anyway i think overall there's juxtaposition with him and don quixote#don isnt human and wishes she could be#meursault is human but people don't think he is#yknow despite my theories it would probably be more poignant if he DIDNT distort#them looking at him and assuming he only couldve done something like that if he distorted but he didnt#oh wait but the timeline... they probably wouldn't have known about how distorting works yet#nevermind back to the first idea#they ask why. he talks about a beautiful voice. no one knows about this yet and they all think there's something deeply wrong with him#'a beautiful voice convinced me' holds up in court about as well as 'the sun was too bright'
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idk if I've said it before, but your portrayals of both Rouxls and Queen are among my favorites, and the way they are when you combine the two is the sole thing that got me to say "yes" to queenkaard. When I first saw it in the game and it started catching on as a ship, I was like "nooo I hc him as gay," but then after seeing your stuff I was like "oh nvm I totally see this now."
i think hearing "i didn't see this ship before, but after your art i understand it and/or even ship it myself" is one of the nicest compliments i get, because it makes me feel like i'm representing something meaningful and sweet about a pairing and having people understand what i think is so great and captivating about them. i've gotten a couple asks like this and sometimes i forget to respond but i always really appreciate them :) thank you very much
#ask#deltarune#queenkaard#rouxls kaard#queen#art#doodles#conkreetmonkey#i mean its fine to draw ship art Just Cuz dgmw but i have Paragraphs of reasons why i like All my ships and it feels really good when i can#help people see the reasons why i think characters are cute together and why they'd work#i love feeling like im Doing something with my art. expressing something. explaining something. makes it feel meaningful#esp when i thought queenkaard was very Out There at first dhbsdjbhf i was like 'dude theres only gonna be me and 2 other people#who ship this'. and there was at first. now people dont think its a rarepair. i built this city goddammit. me and like 2 other people 😭#and im only half joking. i drew them so much because nobody else was. its still a rarepair to me. the fanart and fanfics are still#kind of sparse besides me tbh. but a LOT of people say 'i ship it because of cozy' and that makes me happy#there Are a couple fanfics on ao3 i havent gotten to yet only bc ive been tizzy about the gay car this year but i will read them eventually#anyway i still really love queenkaard i miss the blue people i cant wait to draw them more once the new chapters release aaaaaa#also since i mentioned i dont always respond to asks: i still read each and every single one of them#im sorry if anyone ever sends me something and i didnt post it. sometimes i go on ask-reply sprees and sometimes it just gets#answered months later dhbdsbjf. but please dont ever think i dont care about what you have to say i love hearing from you guys#and sometimes i just Forgor because adhd go brrt
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What a worthless animal
#oc: siggy#first image is babies attempting to figure out their ideal limb count#anyway having a bit of a 'never trust how you feel about your life at 3am' moment but i think the artfight brain plague is beginning to hit#dont worry about me im fine#just feeling a lil bad about maybe not being able to clean up the revenges i would like too and theres sooo many i didnt even get to sketch#and am only at like 50% of how much i 'scored' last year so it makes me feel a lil eh like im not doing as much#but ultimately i did way way more revenges even if it mightve been a mistake LMAO so at least thats something#although i feel bad cause i didnt even revenge some of the coolest ones i got!!! augh!!!!!!!!!!#ah well beetles dont have to deal with these problems we should be more like them#if you read my tag rants sorry about the lore on how my brain works you should check out the wooly chafer beetle
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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guess who's gna hv to go to the hospital tmr and probably hv the infected wound surgically removed
#ITS ME ☝️☝️☝️☝️💥💥💥#skipping sch is so fun yall infection be damned#okay tiny rant after this yall hv been warned#THIS GIRL VERY FUNNY AH#bro ur concern means absolute jack SHIT to me if all youre gna do is be a bitch about it#yeah okay i admit i have zero clue how to treat wounds esp infected ones n i didnt even know the infection was this severe until someone#until my friends told me today#LIKE YEAH I ADMIT ID BE THE TYPE OF PERSON FIRST TO DIE IN A HORROR MOVIE#but like that doesnt give you the excuse to keep calling me dumbass/idiot/stupid#and all the other synonyms of dumb youve been calling me today????#like girl YOURE the certified first aider not me???#and like the qualifications doesnt even give u the right to call me dumb like what the hell#like ik shes concerned for me bec she was the one helping me treat my wound today b4 i saw a doctor#but like she kept making it sound like im a 5yo w absolutely zero sense of safety and shit#and like she kept making it sound like i was FORCING her to help me#NO I WASNT ??#YOU OFFERED?? THEN YOU STARTED BEING AN ASS ABOUT IT???#then like she kept. calling me stupid. like even after the joke got old#bec at first it was her and my other friends teasing me about it and it was funny at first but then she kept going on n on even after that??#then she forced me to see a doctor which i admit was smart i shldve gone to a doctor like. yesterday 😭😭#but then when we were at the clinic she deadass said smth along the lines of “i hv to work and worry sm bec of YOU today”#as if i forced her to accompany me to the doctor??? but it was HER idea ????#also she deadass called the nurse who dressed my wound unprofessional#and she called the doctor i saw on saturday useless bec the antibiotics he prescribed me last week werent working#like. bro if ur so smart then why dont YOU go med sch rn and become a doctor huh#bro ur goofy ahh 1y/o first aid cert aint shit compared to the guy who spent 12+ years studying med n working for even more years than that#like i cannot get over the fact she kept calling me dumbass the entire day#and it was so aggressively too and she threatened to slap me bec i was “being stupid”#and like she kept making my infection out to be so severe as if i wld drop dead right that second or my arm wld fall off or some shit#AAAAAAAAA THIS GOT SO LONG I HIT 30 TAGS WHOOPS HAVE A MWAMWA IF U READ THIS LONG IM SORRY IM JS PISSED BUT I TRIED NOT TO SWEAR 😭😭🙏🙏
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dream time
#have to get this down before i forget it#been having weird/not good dreams lately until last night (mere hours ago bc its still dark out this morning)#writing this on my way to work and in the dream i was on the bus to work. however an important difference between reality and the dream is#that in the dream i was sharing my bus ride w mr larroquette. as one does#this was like mouse bites era john im sorry thats the best way i can describe how he looked#and i guess it was like we kinda knew each other?? and we ended up talking about poetry writing and stuff#wish i could remember the specifics of that#at some point we got off the bus and got onto another one unfortunately a common theme in my dreams is going somewhere in a complicated way#and on that bus ride i sat next to him again and he was like oh i normally listen to music for this part of my trip#and i was like ope don't wanna keep you from that! but he didnt mind talking for a bit more and we talked abt music#bc apparently id recommended he listen to the album big world by joe jackson and he said he didn't like it on first listen but hed try again#when we got off this bus and were walkin to where i worked (i guess he worked around there too???)#we went back to talking abt writing and i was talking abt my old poetry writing class and the kind of things i wrote#and he expressed an interest in reading those old poems and i was like oh ok i guess ill look for em#but i was thinking to myself noooo those arent good i wrote those in high school you dont wanna read themmm#and then it became like hard to get down the street bc people were moving slow on the sidewalk (classic new york moment)#so we went out into the street to like cut around#and there was some truck like causing things to get backed up#and so john started like yelling at the truck driver to move out of there LMAO#and i think thats all i remember w him. but i just remember talking w him was very calming and comforting#come on man. what are you doing in my dreams#later in my dream i just remember telling people about this so im telling you all now#anyway .
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i finished the merry wives of windsor today btw. 4 shakespeare plays left to go
#tales from diana#i'm in a pickle bc i've been burning through the remainders in the last year or so in a way that makes me... melancholic#i didnt hate merry wives even though i wasn't looking forward to it for a very long time bc i knew it was mostly prose#im neither a big falstaff fan (im sorry) not do i get the most charm from shakespeare from his prose#but admittedly it was still rather enjoyable as a comedy. you dont get a lot of fake cuckoldry plots from shakespeare specifically#not in comedy certainly! so i enjoyed the trickery of it#not the worst shakespeare play as far as pure entertainment value at all. nothing's as boring as henry viii#that one was a big disappointment#i have one play in each category left (counting the romances as their own category) (and counting kinsmen as his work)#coriolanus. king john. measure for measure actually! and two noble kinsmen#i know a lot about measure for measure already i just have never read it in full. twelfth night was like that as a reading experience too#i wasn't in a rush to get to it but in the case of measure. i wanted to get merry wives out of the way first#and leave my last pure comedy to be something i would almost certainly enjoy more#now im kind of in a pickle bc i feel the ecstasy of being tempted to just finish the complete plays already#but i also wanna pace myself and read other things#i kinda have this idea of what if i saved the last 4 to read in 2025? but we're not even halfway through 2024#i dont have that kinda patience#maybe ill reread some old favorites in the meantime or something. idk#i dont think i mentioned it on here but i got the rsc complete works second edition from 2022#last month! bc my riverside is in delicate condition. but i switched back between the two when reading merry wives#i just couldnt help it. i miss my mother. it's always going to be the most personally comfortable book for me to read from#i read the majority of these plays in that volume. that book TAUGHT ME to read shakespeare#but i need to be strong and i also enjoy comparative literary studies and a more recent book has a lot to offer#im yammering on to myself incoherently im sure nobody really cares what im saying. even i dont! ok goodbye goodnight
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Why is making friends as an adult so hard 😫
#some people from work invited me to hang out with them bc theyre going to the cinema tomorrow and to a theme park after pay day#and like i said yes to these spontaneous plans bc this is the first time in 4 years im being invited out by work people#but then i get home and they havent added me to the gc to give details so now im panicked because i dont wanna pester them yknow??#and like logically they want me there because they didnt invite everyone so theres literally no obligation on their part...#but i dont wanna be annoying and seem like im like demanding to go with them ughhh#why cant my parents just organise all my outings with friends like they used to it was so much easier that way#personal#im considering waiting a couple days to follow up about it bc maybe they just forgot???#or even until i see them again on Tuesday#but then will they think im not interested???#idkidk but i do know that this is kinda maybe a sign i should think more about getting that social anxiety diagnosis#because i dont think this level of overthinking is normal.. or at least it shouldnt be#if you read this far ily and im sorry jsjdkdj but yeah fr props to you for putting up with this spiral into madness and hope youre good <3
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One time a like 30 year old hotshot fic writer left a super passive-aggressive comment on one of my fics that it was out of character when I was like 14 and I have taken that shit with me personally for years
#ignore me#i just remember every once in a while how id written like my first fic ever and i posted it to ff.net#and i left a little cliche 'hey im new to fic writing if youve got any critiques or ways to help me thatd be appreciated ^.^'#and then this chick left a comment that was litterally one line. just saying this was out of character sorry 🤷♀️#and like i used to read her fic a lot i liked her work a lot and she didnt add anything that could have helped me out#no advice no hey maybe try this or heres some tips for writing more in character#just some 30 year old bitch writing 'this is out of character' on a 14 year olds fic and walking away#i could never read her fic again#poisoned her for me
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baldies gate is very difficult
#its so confusing LMAO at least for me who knows next to nothing abt dnd#i dont understand how spells work and im getting stressed bc idk if quests rlly disappear if i dont complete them fast enough#but also i read that once you beat the main story its joever so maybe i should explore more but i feel like my character is wasting time#and is gonna die the next second if i dont progress the main story ⚰️ the green lady is doing a great job hammering that into my brain#anyway i cant take screenshots of my character bc my tv has fucked up colors and i made the character and guardian based on them#so when i look at a screenshot on the ps app and the colors are different im like '........ that is not my beautiful boy!!!!!'#like it rlly bothers me. anyway i chose a bard of course. very basic and again idk how to play so its all a mess hdjdjdjd#im hoping i figure it out soon bc it is such a cool game. just wish i understood anything </3#i love my character tho im very invested in his story. maybe i shouldve made my first character the 'goody two shoes' type#to make it easier LMAO#but as ive said before i rlly need to get myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to games#i didnt wanna just breeze past the game but actually consider my decisions. turns out its exhausting lmaooo#anyway sorry im rambling i like the game but im just dumb and stress out over things that dont matter way too easily
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getting jumpscared by voice actors is so funny i was just trying to watch old dgrayman scene compiles and suddenly iAN SINCLAIR?????
#ok i didnt stick w the eng dub for super long before alskjf#i mostly watched it in jp ! but i did try eng dub for a bit#i didnt get to when they switched travis willingham for ian sinclair though for yuu and that made me go :O#like tHIS close to picking up the anime but Q _ Q i dont wannaaaaa but also....i wonder if the eng dub is good#i dont like allens va#LIKE hes fine!!! as a va !!! but i just dont like him as ALLEN i think idk#LIKE i cant remember peoples performances well enough to recall whod be good#but like. someone who can manage that perfect balance of sounding gentle and grounded HRM#i will say though whatever they did for lavi's va good job cuz like. while it wasnt exactly the voice i expected it was Amazing from the#clip i saw LOL#this isnt me reading dgm but ill tag it anyways as so#snow reads dgm#i cant tell if i like or dislike lenalee's voice in eng.... i would need more i think...#BUT ian sinclair??? bro i would love to see him do the eps w yuu and alma...#i stopped midway through alma's arc when i was first reading trhough it so i dont know their full story but ; - ;#one of these days. ill make some fancast...#OH YKNOW WHAT i can see like. whoever id pick for jack's voice actor. id give to allen too.... idk if that says anything about me.#i wouldnt even say that jacks like gentle/grounded (hes not) but THATS THE FALSE CHARM HE GOT !!!! SO I THINK ITD WORK#i say gentle but what i really mean is like gentle-borderline-empty sounding#anyways. enough me blabbing sorry sorry lol
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what’s your final production for your film class abour
SO it's gonna be set in like a vaguely futuristic/Sci fi world that's still pretty similar to our own (because I absolutely Do Not have the budget/skills/sets for a fully Sci fi setting), where the main difference is the prevalence of these AI assistants held in sunglasses. The main appeal/purpose of these assistants is their ability to learn and adapt to each person's thoughts, feelings and behaviours, aiding them in their day to day life and generally making life easier for them
The film itself follows the protagonist (who im heavily considering naming Dave just for the Homestuck/2001 reference), who is unmotivated, forgetful, and generally dissatisfied with his life. After encouragement from his family, he buys a pair of the assistant glasses and starts using them. Though at first it's fairly useful (reminding him of appointments, letting him message people back while away from his phone, etc), it quickly becomes more and more involved in his life, messaging people back, making purchases and generally acting on his behalf. Whenever it's confronted about this, it defends itself by claiming that its only doing what Dave himself would do. (Also, the assistant acting on his behalf/trying to claim his identity is represented through the way it's voice changes throughout the film- although at first it is heavily synthesised (like a TTS voice), it starts sounding more and more like Dave, until eventually they sound nearly identical - unrelated to the plot I just think it's cool)
The climax of the film comes when the assistant misunderstands a complaint from Dave about a date he had planned with his boyfriend, and the ai once again acts on his behalf and breaks up with him. Dave is furious, and theres a climactic confrontation (that let's be real is heavily inspired by the Dirk/AR confrontation), where the assistant once again claims that "I have learnt from your actions, your feelings, even your thoughts. I have only done what you yourself are capable of. In fact, I am practically you." and Dave smashes the glasses, burying them outside in a way that symbolises a return to nature (maybe. That ending idea is a holdover from my original theme of nature vs technology but I can't think of anything better so eh)
(Also extra unrelated theming stuff because god I love it:
- the lighting in the film is cold and almost desaturated, representing how lifeless the world is. It's only after Dave smashes the glasses and goes outside that the lighting becomes warmer
- characters mouths are never shown - either the shot is framed so their head isn't visible, or just their eyes (or more specifically, their shades) are. This ties into tje plot later on in the film, where the AI starts speaking in Dave's voice, and casts uncertainty on whether the humans shown are the ones speaking, or their assistant
- related to the above, Dave's full face is shown for the first time right before he takes off his glasses. This is also the first time someone's eyes are shown without the glasses on
- the theme is people's overreliance on technology, particularly algorithms because. Man I've been thinking about that a lot)
#im gonna be completely honest we were meant to be working on pre production shit and i realised i didnt have a single coherent idea yet#so i panicked and went 'okay no ones read homestuck whats a plot point i could steal from that'#and the dirk/hal dynamic was the first thing that came to mind#i wish i could make it more sympathetic to the ai because theres some really interesting nuance there but 1. its a 5 minute film#and 2. we get marked on theme and its easier to get a solid theme by going 'ai bad' yk#sorry hal love u :(#also the irony of me doing a film criticising ai and then hearing one of my classmates asking our teacher if he could use ai generated#replicas of celebrity voices in his film (???)#anyway when in doubt steal from homestuck#if anyone on the marking committee has read it id be incredibly surprised#me.txt#ask#answer#yuttikkele
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I spent the last couple days rewatching SOTUS since the first time I watched it years ago
And honestly, I may like it more now than I did and I liked it a lot back then. I kno people have issues with it and I get those and understand them
But damn I love this show a lot. I can't wait to start watching SOTUS S, I remember enjoying that as much if not more so I think it'll be a fun rewatch
#it is such a slow burn and i really dont remember that even tho im sure i noticed#but its so good theyre so goddamn cute and i adore their relationship#i can not wait to see it more wholely in the next season again#i will say i do wish they had done more with the one side pair they sort of started on#i dont know (and honestly not that interested in finding out) if there was some issue with the one actor or what#but he sure did just fucking drop off the face of the earth so suddenly in that show lmao#anyways the urge to watch at work is so strong lmao#unrelated but i also watched Only Boo! for the first time and i Really liked that as well that was cute af but the one year time skip#made me literally screan#and then i rewatched some scenes from 2 moons 2 i kind of want to rewatch that#but honestly as much as i loved that show#i really didnt have as much attachement to the main pair as the sides and that combined with the season 3 shit and honestly#a lot of the shit with MV and such really makes it kinda hard to watch the entire thing#hell i realized part of the way through watcjing random scenes i forgot what the show was about lmao#mingkit was so cute and damn i wish we saw more of them and i absolutely miss forthbeam as well#almost none of my mutuals potential reading this haveba clue about what im talking about lmao sorry#dont mind me#tag rambles
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MORE PRECISE POLLS:
Comedies
Tragedies
Histories
Please say why you chose, I'm interested and please share for bigger sample
P.s: I chose to do this poll cuz after r&j, hamlet, macbeth and midsummer's night's dream, I didnt study any of the others.
I was curious to see which one I should read first (as I want to expand my reading and I'm getting shakespeares works for christmas which I wanted after I went to see Tom Holland's r&j which blew me away and made appreciate shakey a lot more)
I'm sorry I failed you 'much ado about nothing' fans 😭
#shakespeare#william shakespeare#shakey#shakespeare plays#romeo and juliet#macbeth#othello#hamlet#a midsummer's night's dream#the taming of the shrew#poll#english literature#literature#poetry
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yeaaa sasha and levi have a complicated relationship ⚰️ novel incoming so im sorry lmao
so when they were in middle school sasha (and teddy) figuratively saved levis life. yeah he physically fought the bullies to the point of getting into trouble himself but he also became something for levi who was new in town and extremely sensitive and felt all his emotions at 150% to lean on (and for a long time hide behind), and sasha who had lived his whole life just letting everything happen to him would have an active role in someones life.
levis situation made it so they spent a lot of time together and they actually got on well, esp because they all did (at this point different) sports. and from day 1 levi thought sasha was so. cool. (and at this point sasha was taller too). hed follow him anywhere. listen to the same music. wear the same clothes etc. and it was so good for sasha to make a friend other than his sister and teddy. and soon levi was able to express his loud personality (hyper competitive, confident, overly sensitive, no filter, you know right) and the three became inseparable
in time their dynamic as this "savior" and the "saved" gave them a lot of codependency, but they didnt see it like that. it was natural and they loved each other. they started dating in like the transition from middle school to high school and it was Serious like when uni started theyd been dating for over 4 years and they were like this is who im spending my life with/if it ever becomes legal then this IS the guy im going to marry
so bc levi was so happy during those years he was able to thrive when it came to his ambitions like he was working hard with volleyball and getting 10s after 10s in his studies and prep for med school and he does get accepted. so then uni starts and whoa? levi has to leave bc the only med school in the country is on the other side of it. uh oh....
they both dont know how to function without the other at this point but sasha doesnt voice any of his feelings (bc hes developing intensifying insecurities abt how he feels hes failing at... well, life, bc of the developments of both of their lives) and they say good bye with a promise that theyll call and visit as much as possible.
and levi struggles HARD in the beginning. the studies are hard, balancing volleyball with them is hard, and hes new in town again and his security is gone. but, he IS a different person from 7 years ago. he started gaining his independence quickly and adjusting to life in the capital and when he visited on christmas everything was already clear. sasha felt like he was slipping away from him bc he himself had no other things and no other futures he was working towards other than this relationship. levi didnt need him anymore and in fact he was becoming a doctor and hed be the one having to take care of sasha. even though they were finally together again sasha felt like they were worlds apart. even the way levi spoke was changing and becoming literally hard to understand.
so when levi returned to school it all started Actually going bad. bc sasha had let passivity poison his entire being instead of confronting his issues he started to withdraw and levi alone couldnt keep them going. eventually theyd only ever fight and levi for the first time let his meaner qualities target sasha. and it hurt him even more that no matter how awful he was sasha rlly didnt care enough abt him anymore to get angry back?
it WAS gradual though and this went on for SO. LONG. bc neither knew how to let go until finally at the end of their second year levi said enough to the limbo and once and for all ended their relationship. time passed and now levi after fighting so hard made team captain. and he hears sasha is also his teams captain and levi feels even more resentment bc he has had to crawl through blood and tears since middle school but sasha whos never aspired to anything can just become captain bc ????? (he has no idea). also sasha feels some type of way abt levi getting into a new relationship so "fast" and with the guy he knows became his roommate in their 2nd year... even tho he rlly has no business to lmaooo
so to finally answer the question in the post: levi feels so bitter and resentful and sasha is just swallowed up in his self loathing and rlly just doesnt want to see him again
which oc currently has a complicated relationship with an ex?
#notes to keep in mind for reading this!!!: 1. bc this is mostly covering the 'complications' aspect of their relationship there wasnt#rlly a chance to empasize how truly important and good the relationship was and how much happiness it brought. and they spent#their youth together so they still miss each other painfully much too. spoiler for this story i havent written hdkdjfkf but they do make up#at the end and its one of my fave parts everr. they probs wont ever be friends as close as they used to be bc they dont have nearly anythin#in common anymore and the memories will always be somewhat painful but theyll get closure#2. even tho they had a dynamic in their relationship it wasnt a POWER dynamic. again i have to emphasize it was a good happy relationship#and their dynamic worked until it didnt. simple as that#3. the timeline of one difficult first half a semester leading to the downfall of everything is very important#and you can rlly pinpoint the time during which i created this story 💀💀💀💀#this story was truly a way for me to cope with how difficult and life ruining starting uni was for me and in time i just built around that#again SORRY for this awful wall of text hdkdjsjdkd the whole life story isnt EXACTLY relevant to the post question#but i was like where else am i gonna get to talk abt this lmao#also this is the first time ive added a read more i hope it works.......#well now after posting i see that it doesnt actually work in the notes themselves which would be the most important lmao this is the worst
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