#sorry not sorry for yoinking this from you but HEY YEAH

[ratatatastic]

im sorry youre telling me that dumb cats cup wwe belt is 550 SMACKAROOS???? IN THIS ECONOMY???

[carmenized-onions]

Tony, Terry, Tommy? | Walk-In Hotfix

synopsis; You get an unexpected call from an old friend in need of an emergency repair. Good thing: that's kind of your whole gig. Bad thing: You've been avoiding the Berzatto family for the past year.

tasting notes; hurt comfort? idk man, he's in a fuckin' freezer. this is gonna be a long slow-burn series. We don't use Y/N here and we've got a very preestablished storyline going on babes. Eat up.

portion; 3.1k+

possible allergies; SEASON 2 FINALE SPOILERS, I've started writing this before Season 3 comes out in June so we're going WAY off canon (unless I'm an oracle), Mikey is gonna be central baby, any tw you require for the bear-- you require for this.

pairing; Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto & Fem Reader (No pronouns!)

I have not written fanfiction in 5-6 years and once again some goddamn pretty boy just YOINKS me back in. I'm making up my own season three here so I'm kinda flying by the seat of my pants with this series, hopefully it turns out. If it doesn't... C'est la vie, I had fun.

The inciting incident, the thing that pulls you in, and permanently alters the trajectory of your life—                    Is honestly quite boring, because it’s just a phone call from an old friend.

You stare at your screen for what feels like eons but it’s really just a few rings. It’s enough time to frantically search through blankets on your couch for your remote to pause your show— Which might as well be like 10 years of time. You’re heavily debating not answering; what if it’s something heavy? What if a mutual childhood friend died? What if it’s a love or murder confession? What if it’s about the money you owe her? The money she owes you?

Do you really want to take that kind of call? On what’s been a peaceful Friday night? That’s a rarity in your part of Chicago, c’mon. If it’s important, she’ll leave a voicemail... Who are you kidding, she doesn’t leave voicemails— Frankly, it’s bizarre and concerning that she’s calling in the first place instead of spam texting. …Alright, she’s let it get to the fourth ring, she’s probably dead or dying. You need to pick up.

“…Syd?”

She sounds infinitely stressed, but relieved to hear your voice.“Hey, hey, uh—”

There’s a cacophony of yelling, banging, and what you imagine are kitchen noises in the background. Guess she kept to her guns after Sheridan. That’s nice. Or maybe it’s not. Hard to tell.

“Are you good?” She can’t see the concern on your face or your free arm crossing over your waist— But she can imagine it in the worried lilt of your voice.

“Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah— I-I’m good— Well actually, no, I’m not good, that’s why I’m calling. Actually. Sorry. I know it’s been a minute, it’s fucked up to call only when I need something—”

“Syd.”

“Is your dad still a handy-man?”

Ah. Goodbye peaceful Friday night. Hello emergency hotfix services.

You click your teeth, “Oh, no, he retired. Got a case of… Getting fucking old disease.” But a part of you is relieved it’s a thing that’s broken, and not her. This is at least manageable— Whatever it is.

“Fuck. Okay. Fuck. Ha, yeah, my dad’s got that too— Well, okay, then I’ll talk—”

You’re quick to jump in. “I took over the business though. So, if you’re—" “We need help so bad right now.”

You can’t help but laugh at the speed of it, but immediately feel guilty hearing the desperation in it. “Yeah? Who’s we?”

You stick the cellphone in the crux of your neck, already walking across your apartment to throw on your jumpsuit— Dark navy blue, elbow length sleeves, dad’s old logo embroidered on your right breast pocket.

CHICAGO’S KINDEST ⚒ FIXERS & CO. It’s managed to grow on you.

There’s an egregious number of patches ironed or sewn onto the back and shoulders of it. All from businesses you and your father had either worked with or done odd jobs for. A NASCAR jumpsuit, but for nostalgia and small businesses. Something something ‘it all starts with your neighbourhood’. Your dad would say.

Syd continues, she hasn’t changed much. You hear her sharp dicing in the background, the rhythm seems to calm down into an actual flow instead of erratic speed. You figure either the dinner rush is starting to slow down or she’s relieved you’re coming. Who are you being humble for, no shot it’s the former.

“So, you know how I’m like— Like a chef and shit?”

 You hum the affirmative, putting her on speakerphone so you can pull out your tool kit with both hands.

“So like, I actually co-own this restaurant opening tonight.”

“Oh nice!”

“Yeah— Yeah, yeah, it’s really nice, but actually, it’s not, because it’s bad.”

“In the way I can fix?”

“In the way you can fix, yeah. Hopefully.”

“What’s the damage?”

“So, my co-owner uh, Carmen, he got locked in the walk-in. Like trapped.”

You take a beat, a confused one. Half-stepping, almost tripping. You stare at your tools, picking out what you’ll actually need for this— How the fuck— “How is he trapped in the walk-in?”

“So, he meant to call to get it fixed—” “And he didn’t?” “And he didn’t.”

“What was broke about it in the first place?”

“The doorknob on the inside, broke off. And right now, or, more like, 5 minutes ago, the handle on the outside broke off too.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck.”

“Do you have the outside handle, still?”

“Yeah. Yeah, laying around somewhere— It snapped off though, like—”

“Clean?”

“Uh…. Y’know, I would check, but I’m actually kinda—"

“Can we run table 36, please, Chefs?!” Now that’s an uncomfortably familiar voice.

“Yes, Chef! …I’m kinda busy.”

“Right. Restaurant. Oh, what fucking restaurant? You said Carmen, that’s that fuckin’ Michelin guy, right?” Berzatto. It has to be. The smallness of this world is a personal prank on you.

“…How do you know that?” Son of a bitch.

“…I try to remember what you like.” It’s a good save, but that was too intimate for 3 years of no contact besides Happy Birthday texts, fuck fuck, recover— “Ahem, uh, Restaurant?”

“The Bear. Formerly The Beef. You do still live in Chicago, right?”

Berzatto. Confirmed. Bleh.

“Fortunate for you, I do. I know The Beef, I’m not far, I’ll be there in ten. Tell him to not have a panic attack, if you get a minute.”

“I will not get a minute. But I love the dream.”

And you’re off. Jumpsuit half zipped over what was supposed to be a sleep shirt but is now posthumously a work shirt. Nobody has to know you’re wearing pajama shorts under this. Carhartt jacket thrown over your shoulders— Your dad’s, so, a bit oversized. Toolbox in hand, utility belt on— Though you’re mildly sure if your hypothesis is right, you will only need your threateningly long sledgehammer.

Thank God for your car. CTA would not like you right now.

You pull up front. Oh boy. The sign change is making you feel a type of way that you were not expecting. Pride? Envy? All seven of the deadly sins? Maybe. No time to stew on it because there’s an older woman smoking and having an emotional spat with who you assume is her shivering son out front. So. Definitely going through the back alley instead of getting in the middle of that shit.

Alas, it’s not any better, because there’s Syd, vomiting next to a dumpster.

“Better to ignore or acknowledge you in this moment?” Is the response you decide is best, despite the question, you’re already by her side. You put your tools down (out of the splash zone) and rub her back with one hand, holding back straying braids with the other.

“I couldn’t—” More vomit. “Fuckin’ tell ya.” Syd takes a few deep breathes before standing. She considers going in for a hug, but remembers, the vomit. “Good to see you. I want to catch up, f’real, but—” “The bear in the walk-in?” “The bear in the walk-in.”

You nod, fishing through your pocket. You hand her a mini container of Tums. She waves it off, of course, and you double down, of course, “Who you acting tough for?”

“Fuckin… No one.” She grimaces, taking the box. She makes a show of taking one, like a fussy kid.

You refuse to take it back. “Keep it.”

“Never stopped being the mom friend, eh?”

You laugh, picking up your tools again. “Listen, there’s no telling what the night and your stomach holds. Lead the way?”

The Bear is pretty, or at least the kitchen of it is, so far. It’s clean. Cleaner than it used to be. The death trap walk-in is really the only eyesore for you. You stare at the broken-off handle in your hand, twisting it back and forth to look at all the angles. It’s honestly a pretty clean break.

Sydney’s left to talk to her dad, as she should, and the rest of the kitchen is either too busy to pay you mind or is just silently relieved to see you.

Tina— Who has thankfully opted to not say ‘Hey, good to see you, it’s been a year, what the fuck’—Taps the walk-in door and says to this elusive Michelin Carmen that she’ll be right back, that help’s here. He does not seem to register this at all. She gently slaps your cheek before rushing back to her station, regardless.

“Maybe I’m just not built for this, maybe, maybe that’s okay— Maybe that just is.”

You’ve never said his name to him, it feels heavy on your tongue. “Carmen.”

“Right? What the fuck was I thinking?”

Alright, he’s too far gone. You flag down one of the cooks that are just shadowing for the night. “Hey, can you hold this in place for me?”

You stick the handle into what’s left of the hinge still attached to the door, which is, not much— But hopefully, again, if your hypothesis is correct, it’ll give enough leverage. The cook holds it in place, a little terrified as your sledgehammer comes into view.

“Not gonna hit you, promise.”

“—I’m a fuckin’ psycho. That’s why. That’s why I’m good at what I do.”

You tap (bang) the hammer on the door, enough to stop his train of thought. For a second, at least. “Sweetheart, I need you to stand up for me, Carmen Chef Sir.”

“…Tony?”

“...Who the fuck is Tony?”

The meek cook beside you speaks up, “He means Tommy.”

And Tina is quick to yell from across the kitchen— hearing how? We don’t know. “It’s Terry!”

“I am none of these people.” You sigh, readying the hammer. “Carmen, can you stand up, and just tuck your fingers in the wedge of the door? If there is one?”

“Heard. Yeah.” There’s shuffling from in there, getting into position. Though the steps and the words seem dazed, as he’s forced out of a mental fog. “Here.”

“This isn’t a fix by the way. Your whole door is fucked after this. Not that it isn’t already, but, y’know.” You back up, teeing yourself up before running forward.

“Well, wait—”

You slam the mallet into the tip of the handle perfectly, forcing it way too tight into the gap of the hinge. You push the cook aside with your hip, now using the long handle of the mallet to stick between the knob and the door, using it as further leverage to pull it open. It is incredibly straining.

“Carmy!” Is it okay to say that nickname before you’ve even seen his face? Eh. You’re moving the boulder, he’ll forgive you. “You feel air?!”

“Holy shit— Yeah, yeah— Push?!” “Of course fucking push!”

And it becomes apparent in this exchange of force that this Head Chef must be significantly stronger than you, because it’s opening a lot faster now. Though, fast is a strong word for the snail pace this is happening at. But it’s more than the nothing that was happening a minute ago.

“Aye… Cousin?” Richie, in a… suit? Runs up to you, coming from front of house. He immediately grabs a free spot on the sledgehammer’s handle to help pull. He was shocked to see you doing, well, this, right now, but then upon registering, he’s just shocked to see you. Period.

You can only groan in response, sticking a leg up and putting your foot on the wall as if it’s gonna add meaningful leverage— Oh wait, it kinda is. “Y'clean up good, Rich— Opening going—Fuck— well?”

“Oh yeah, fucking peachy.” He can only manage to wheeze in reply. Investing his strength in yanking rather than reintroductions; thankfully it pays off.

The hinge shoots open, you would have absolutely fallen on your ass if Richie was not ready to stabilize you. The walk-in door cracks open. Just a bit. It’s not dramatic, it’s just a breath.

It’s so anti-climactic that Richie doesn’t mind walking off to cheer before Carmen even comes out. Clapping your back as he does. “That’s what I like to fuckin’ see, Cousin! Ingenuity!”

Though, to be fair, he’s moving to intercept a very sweet looking, worried girl. You look up at her, wheezing as you keel over slightly to catch your breath, hands on your knees. She’s saying something along the lines of ‘What’s going on?’ ‘Is he okay?’ Girlfriend? Probably. Richie seems to be coaxing her accordingly. You turn your head back to the door. Carmen hasn’t come out yet. That’s a red flag. With another wheeze, you stand up right, opening the door further, peeking in.

He's standing there, catatonic. Not looking at you, but straight forward, beyond you. He must’ve been by the door to push it open but now he’s stumbled against the back shelf. Every time his girl’s voice manages to ring into here, his eyes crinkle— Wince. His breath keeps hitching. He looks afraid. It is better to be caged right now than it is to be out there, doing whatever he could be doing, right now. Talking to anyone might be a death sentence, right now.

“I don’t need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I don’t need to receive any amusement or enjoyment. I’m completely fine with that.” He mumbles repeatedly. You can barely hear it over the buzzing of the freezer.

Whispering it just for himself, like some sort of fucked up mantra. Like it’s a state of inner peace to feel this bad. You doubt he even sees you right now.

You know you don’t know Carmy personally. Mostly just through hearsay.

He’s never met or heard of you, that’s for sure.

But you know Berzattos. Or. Knew the one.

And you know a downward spiral. Intimately.

And you know that right now, he’s fucking cold. He is shivering and making no move to leave that state. You think he thinks that’s the state he deserves to stay in.

Nothing to lose but a good first impression, right? You drop a screwdriver in the doorway as a doorstop— Because how fucking dumb would it be if you both got stuck? And. Extremely slowly, you approach him not unlike approaching an actual captive bear. In your eyes, you might as well be.

Standing right in front of him doesn’t stop his mantra. You slip your jacket off, half hugging him to drape it over his shoulders. “You’re just cold.”

“I’m a—” “You’re just. Cold.” You cut him off before he has the chance to self-deprecate again, smoothing out the sleeves on him. His eyes readjust to actually look at you rather than somewhere beyond.

You sniff. You’re already cold and it’s been 30 seconds. This poor thing. You rub your hands together, breathing hot air into them before touching them to his frigid fucking face. “Fuck you’re really cold. Like danger cold.”

Never being one for boundaries or hesitation, you hug yourself to him. It’s the fastest way to warm him up. You slip your hands under the jacket— Your jacket— And just engulf the Italian Popsicle Man before you.

Shockingly, he doesn’t push you off or suddenly reawaken to his senses and tell you to fuck off. He doesn’t flinch, if anything he leans in. His body doesn’t really have time for surprise, right now, it just takes what it needs. And what it needs is warmth and oxytocin. His breathing slowly but surely self regulates, and once you start to remember decorum you lower your arms— But. He opts to place his chin on your shoulder, like the world’s most gentle hook, and that alone is enough to keep you there.

It's a long, silent, liminal spacey moment before he speaks again. Both of you speak just above the decibel of the freezer's buzzing.

“You’re not Tony.”

“Terry.”

“You’re Terry?”

“No, Tina said Tony’s Terry. I don’t know who the fuck Terry is.”

“Terry’s the fridge guy.”

“You’re still going to need to call him; I did just make it worse.”

“That’s fine.” He swallows. “Who called you?”

“Syd.”

“Should’ve called you earlier.”

“Should’ve called the fridge guy earlier.”

“Yeah.” He sighs, but he makes no move to move, so you don’t either.

“You know Mikey too?”

Ah. The patch. The Beef. It's worn, but it sits proudly on the left shoulder of your jumpsuit. Your heart tightens and so does your posture.

“Yeah.” You sigh. It’s shakier than you’d like it to be. “Dad knew him, so then I knew him, so then I occasionally fixed shit for him. Shit that ‘Fak couldn’t?’ I think his name was?”

“Hm.” He hums. “He ever got locked in the walk-in?”

“Yeah, he really fucked it up, like waayy worse than whatever happened with you tonight. Like whatever happened. At least 10 times worse.” Your voice is coated with sarcasm, but it’s not entirely untrue.

You’re relieved, when Carmen laughs at this, a touch maniacally, but it’s something. Right now, any emotion from him besides regret and anxiety feels like a trophy. He straightens up, pushing his hair back, so you remove your arms.

“You’re fuckin’ funny, Tony.”

“Still not Tony.”

“Oh my god!” A blonde, very pregnant woman cracks the door open, relieved. “Are you okay, Bear?” You step aside so she can hug Carmen, holding his cheeks to look over him. Oh, this has to be—

“I’m good, I’m great, Sug.” He says this incredibly unconvincingly, hanging one hand on her wrist.

But what matters more in your brain right now is: That’s Sugar. Natalie.

And now you can put a face to both siblings you’ve been bitched about to.

Chain-smoker, means well, cringeworthy husband, too good for her family, incredibly judgemental, cares too much and worries more, loves to fight, her mother’s daughter, pushy, sticks her foot in her mouth, can’t take no for an answer, would lay down her life. Natalie Berzatto. Little sister.

Michelin Star retaining, big shot, sensitive, definitely a virgin, ball buster, sweats the small stuff, sweetheart, asshole, incredibly smart, flighty, coward, deeply loyal, whiny, screamer, show-off, fantastic drawer, shell, mister new york, annoyingly humble, undeniably the most talented. Carmen Berzatto. Baby brother.

Mikey’s words. Of course.

Nat turns her gaze over to you, “Thank you.” You can only bring yourself to nod in reply, a bit awkward— Lost in your rolodex of memories of the people you’ve never actually met until right now. It’s weird to feel parasocial about a normal person.   

“Our toilet, exploded.” She says.

Now that pulls out you of it, and gets a laugh out of you. You put your hand over your mouth. “Yeah?”

Sugar shakes her head, eyes widening like she’s just stepped in it, “I didn’t mean like— Like, you just did a job, right, that’s like tacking on another last-minute service—”

“That’s fine.” You put a hand up stopping her from continuing, still chuckling. “I’ll take a look at it tonight and try to fix it tomorrow?”

She nods, smiling bright, “Thank you, Tommy.”

Who needs to use Y/N when you have the fridge guy?

I so desperately hope you liked this first chapter. I've been stewing on this for like a week so I beg of you to reply/reblog/send me an ask (anon or not!!) telling me what you thought!! Unless it's mean!! In which case, do NOT!!!

And just a forewarning, as we step into uncharted territory where the walk-in meltdown was cut short, I need you to hold my hand through it bb. We're making this man's life better or we're gonna die trying.

Next Part

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ notes: just wanted to do something in honor of sorry boys going on hiatus. this is entirely based on their last video so watch that to understand the silly headcanon time. cc!wilbur likers will be blocked by the way, thanks. get out of here

↳ warnings: none. just the four members here. four original, and only, members of sorry boys. no one else

↳ song: campus—vampire weekend

masterlist | commissions | carrd

• You'd think that an afternoon shift at a trampoline park would be easy; especially on the down days. Hanging around the snack bar with your employees, blowing whistles at loud kids, and keeping whatever was left in the lost and found bin became something of a daydream to you upon first getting hired

• It was a better alternative to the fast food joint you had worked previously at a crazed food van—you'd rather do anything but that after quitting

• Your first tip that things weren't going to be that easy should have been the camera crew that shuffled in on your second week, lead in part by a blonde guy with a stack of pre-signed waivers in his hand

• "What's up with that?" You turned to your only other coworker at the hour, a lanky guy with a mask and fluffed up hair. You thought you remember his name starting with an R or something along the lines of that, but mostly you referred to him as 'dude' or 'hey you.' He never felt the need to correct you, so you just never stopped

• "Oh yeah." He'd responded with a tired voice while barely even looking around. "Uh, we have a group that comes in every few days and rents out the place. I've seen them bouncing around, and I'm not really sure they're, uh, stable I guess you could say."

• Glancing down from the reception desk and to the play floor below, you caught a glimpse of the three others he spoke of, one being the blonde kid from earlier, surrounded by a few cameras and doing some rather weak jump moves. One in a red fat suit fell over at one point and refused to get up as he rolled around on the floor whining

• "Er," You took a step out of the reception desk area as you pointed a finger down at the scene. "Shouldn't one of us be down there? Supervising, and all that." You neglected to mention that one of the men looked old enough to be your father and should probably be mediating them

• For a moment you thought your coworker would shrug and tell you to go on, but he just sighed and grabbed his whistle like a weary office worker preparing for a morning round

• "At least this time I won't be alone." He looked at you. The eyebags under his eyes made you feel like he'd done this a lot more than he'd ever wanted to, despite only being at work a few weeks more than you

• The next few minutes went by fine. You were mostly ignored by the two fellows in fat suits as they proceeded to say 'dude' and 'bro' far too much, and was only offered a high five by the same blonde— Tungo you now knew. At one point the cameramen pulled you and the other worked over for a small interview, the likes of which you seemed to enjoy more than him

• The first time either of you really had to step in was when the red fat suit one delved into his shell, yelling something about yoinking his pork

• "Chungus? Chungo?" You managed to say his name without somehow laughing. "Please don't do that. We're gonna have some problems if you continue to."

• As Chounce popped his head out like a cartoon character to look at you, you offered a wobbly smile, and was severely relieved when he finally brought his hands out of his suit to cross them

• "For the record dude I wasn't even pulling my plug." He frowned, having the decency to look midly embarrassed. "I was just thinking about my feelings, bro."

• You got a thankful look from your fellow employee at your successful endeavors

• The both of you continued to watch as a competition between Chounce and Tungo occurred, eventually somehow turning into a fight between them as the self proclaimed Master Za watched

• In reality, you were pretty sure their real names all aligned somewhere along the lines of Tommy Charlie and Phil, if the signatures on their wavers spoke for anything, but none of them seemed to call each other anything but nonsense

• At one point, you were compelled enough by the entertainment to purchase a bag of popcorn from the snack desk, earning a look at disappointment from your coworker as he saw

• "Please don't encourage them." He dragged a hand down his face, careful not to knock his mask off

• "I don't think it'd matter if I did or didn't." You smiled through a mouthful. "Just look at 'em." You waved at the kid zone they'd all migrated too in the last hour or two, currently kissing Master Za on the face as he yelped in protest

• "Wait." Your hand lowered slowly as you blinked. "That's not allowed—"

• The two of you took off in their direction, using your whistles for what felt like the hundredth time that day as you ran

• By the time closing hours came around, it was dark enough outside to make you yawn. It took a significant amount of convincing to get the three of them, mostly Chounce, to leave and stop bouncing, but it eventually worked with a few well placed bribes. Namely, handfuls from your unfinished chip bag from earlier

• "You weren't all that bad! Not a wrong'un after all." Tungo eventually confided in you in front of everyone as you went to close up, looking strangely proud about such a mediocre compliment. You grinned at him anyways, finding him to be one of the saner ones throughout the whole ordeal

• "Maybe next time I could judge a match of yours, yeah?" You offered as you thumbed through the cash in the register

• "Please do not encourage them." A familiar voice from outside sounded for the second time that day, making you suck air between your teeth in an attempt not to snort with laughter

• "And remember to check the bathrooms before you leave. One of them likes to hide in them after we close."

• "Sorry, what—"

• You ended up having to drag Chounce out bt his ankles that night and into Master Za's car so he could get home

• "You know what? It's still better than the food truck."

[cameronspecial]

HIII I have another request for Dad!Drew Starkey x Black!Reader. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6yjMdJLGPg/?igsh=MW1kbWt2a2w0bjF5MA==

And can you make it to where Drew’s son snatches his phone out his hand and runs off in the think and Drew chases the baby and they both run past the reader? If not just ignore this

Thief

Pairing: Dad!Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.6K (Exactly, which is satisfying)

Masterlist

Drew and Y/N knew when Wilson began walking that he would become even more of a handful. They never expected it to be this bad. The two-year-old seems to find it hilarious to grab objects his parents are using right out of their hands and run. Unfortunately, Drew seems to be the latest victim of the toddler’s attention. 

The father sits at the edge of the couch with his phone held up to his mouth. “Yeah, Jonas, I can do that,” Drew confirms to his boss. His focus on his work call makes him clueless about the tiny head that peaks out from behind the wall. Wilson’s eyes narrow in on the phone and he makes his plan. When Drew sits up a little straight, Wilson sees his chance and he toddles over to his father. Drew thinks nothing of it and smiles at his approaching son. A frown forms when Wilson wraps his fingers around the electronic device and yoinks it out of the older man’s hands. Wilson runs off with a giggle, giving Jonas a view of his chubby cheeks and chin. “Dammit, Wilson, come back here,” Drew orders, chasing after his son. The speed of the child would make Drew proud and hopeful of an athletic career if it weren’t for the situation that they are in. 

The laughs continue. “Wilson, this isn’t funny. Give it back.” The father is led all over the house and still, he hasn’t caught up to him. Y/N comes downstairs to get something to drink when her little boy goes joyfully running past her. She grins at the scene, assuming her husband is playing some sort of game with the boy. The sight of her husband barreling towards her after said boy. The look on his face tells her it isn’t a game. “What’s going on?” she calls after him. He yells over his shoulder, “Your son is a thief!” She chuckles at his declaration, letting her husband deal with the issue. 

She gets herself her glass of Bubly and settles at the kitchen island. After watching the pair run through the kitchen three times, she finally gives her husband a little tip. “Hey, Drew,” she hollers to him. He stumbles back to a stop and spins to her. “Yeah?” She gives him a sly smile, “Try just standing in one spot for a second.” His head tilts, but he listens to his wife’s advice. She points her finger downward and makes a circle. He gets the message, facing the other direction. They stay like that for a few seconds and as his mouth falls open to question her advice, tiny pitter patters become louder. He quickly pieces it together. He squats down and opens his arms wide, ready to catch the toddler. As predicted, Wilson runs into the room with his head twisted backwards, looking for his father. His giggles are cut short when he sprints right into his father’s arms. Drew picks up Wilson and throws him over his shoulder. “You are one sneaky little boy,” he tutts. He grabs the phone out of his tiny fingers. Drew addresses Jonas, “Sorry, Man. Can I call you back?” Jonas looks amused by the scene and nods. “Of course, take your time.” The men bid each other goodbye before Drew hangs out. 

He turns to Wilson, whose tiny teeth beam at him. “That wasn’t funny, Mister. Daddy was working,” he fakes scolding. A tiyn giggle comes out of the boy’s mouth, “I sowwy, Daddy.” Drew shakes his head. “I highly doubt that, but you’re lucky I love you, Slugger.” 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Hello hello, it is time once again for, you guessed it!

Rating Clu's

Homoerotically tense

Relationships

I thought long and hard about this because I only had about 2 in my head when I mistakenly threw it out there in another post but like, here you go 😎

Have a picture in case you forgot what cgi Jeff Bridges looks like:

Behold, a guy. Anyway

1. Kevin

He is the most obvious so I'll get this one out of the way

You are me and I am you but you are the darkest parts of me but I love you anyway

This begs the question:

Would you fuck your darker self/clone

Idk about u but my heart tells me that Kevin sure would

7/10 it's about the man vs self of it all

2. Jarvis (why is this photo so fuckin big??)

I know I said Kevin is the most obvious

But this guy has the biggest crush on Clu

He is simp supreme

Like the way he turns to Clu for approval after everything he says makes me feel like I should leave the room

He loses a point for being a dork coward but Sam's mascara is very pretty and he's also a Flynn so I can't blame him too much

9/10 go henchboy go

3. Rinzler

Fellas, is it gay to brainwash god's most specialest boyfriend and make him loyal to only you all while knowing god is still out there and can see what you've done to everything he loves? All while knowing he's nothing more than a pet and will never love you and wouldn't even if he could

Like talk about the ultimate rebound

No notes honestly, I don't even need to go on with this one

11/10 not even one girl(Quorra) could make this all seem a little less gay

4. Dyson

Another case of yoinking your exes boy but this time it was consensual

He literally just agrees with Clu and helped him take over

If that's not a basis for a strong relationship then idk what is

He really seems so desperate to stay in Clu's favor like he must know that tron is the real prize here, his bitter ex. Has there ever been so much dating drama between programs?

5/10 replaceable.

5. Sammy

It occurs to me now that he hasn't made it on these lists yet so everyone clap for him

I feel brave for even acknowledging this one

Is Clu his dad? Is he an entity separate but still containing qualities of his father at a certain point in time that forever diverged from the moment of conception? Idk he's a computer man

So like the part where he's just kinda circling Sam looking him up and down like he's a prized pig? Yeah.

CAUTION THIS IS A JOKE please for the love of Kevin don't cancel me over this

2/10 why the 2? Cause there's fics out there man I know it

6. Zuse

He's so babygirl

Clu even mixed him a drink before he blew him up

I love their dynamic I get the feeling if Clu had to spend more than 5 minutes around him he'd strangle him much sooner

Stoic asshole with the silly asshole

Honestly they're perfect for each other

10/10 what can I say? I'm a simple program I see two men interact and I rate them

Special mention:

7. Quorra

Now some of you might say, hey Puddle Girl, this isn't homoerotic at all she's a girl

Well they're programs so gender isn't real and also they're bi so it counts

Anyway I thought about this one cause there was this weird tense moment towards the end of the movie where Quorra is captured and Clu's just like, talking to her and touches her hair and it was uncomfortable but it also made me feel some type of way

Like I understand that it's 100% a power play BUT

😏

3/10 he was gonna add her to the boyfriend collection cause all he does is steal from Kevin

Hi in honor of my Tron themed birthday I finally finished this. I was really reaching for some of these as you can see but I can't take it too seriously anyway. I'm always here for the gay of it all but is it homoerotic or do they just need to put more people who aren't men in this franchise? We'll literally never know! 🙃

Hey @soihadthisdreamonce I'm sorry 5-10 business days turned into 5-10 business weeks I was moving and time got away from me but I didn't forget you

[cbsxreader]

oh hey you’re back!

if you feel up to it, could I request some head canons for cbs and a (preferably m or gn) s/o with glasses? maybe it’s like he’ll try the glasses on and tease them about how blind they are but the moment someone else tries that it’s on sight (ha pun)

sorry I just really wish more people weren’t. Like. Annoying about glasses 😔

Yea I came back with the milk

I'm gonna go with gn!S/o

CBS with a S/o who has glasses

If he wants to annoy his S/o a little, he approaches them casually, hiding his mischievous plans. Though his S/o eventually grows suspicious of him each time he comes up to them because he does it so often.

"Hey, love, darling, how are you?" Christian says, his tone cheeky and sly.

His S/o looks up from the cutting board, suspicious of him, they sigh slightly "Now what do you want?"

He just chuckles at how they already suspect him "Oh, nothing, nothing, just checking what you're making for lunch- YOINK!" He takes their glasses suddenly, but his S/o just press their lips in a fine line.

"This is the fourth time this week, how is it not boring after the third time..?" They ask, squinting as they cut some vegetables carefully.

"Ah, I never get tired of teasing you, love." Christian answers, looking at the pair of glasses in his hands, he smugly adds "Don't cut your fingers, darling."

Whenever someone makes fun of his S/o, they have to have balls of steel because Christian will scowl and glare at them. But he's also kind of a hypocrite in that way, he makes fun of his partner, calling them "four-eyes", all the like, but jumps to defending his love whenever someone else does that.

When his partner expresses discomfort from him teasing them, he stops. He just likes to be a pain in the arse sometimes, not a jackass.

If someone takes his S/o's glasses and they can't get them back themselves, he'll step in. His S/o is slightly worried at the situation but Christian has a plan.

Christian first tries to firmly ask for the glasses back, putting out a hand. The more non-cooperative the bully is, the angrier glare and lower voice he gives them. Once he does get the glasses, he hands them to his S/o before grabbing the bully by the shirt and giving them two black eyes for an ironic lesson.

"I kinda thought you'd just start throwing punches instead of getting the glasses back first." His partner says as they're making their way off the scene.

Christian shrugs while cracking his knuckles "If I started throwing punches every time someone took your glasses, you'd start to take money from your savings, love. One pair already costs a good hunch."

If his partner feels self-conscious of wearing/needing glasses, he genuinely compliments them.

"I don't know, I sometimes wish I didn't have to wear glasses." His partner confesses.

"Really? Honestly, I can't imagine you without glasses. Plus, they bring out your eyes. And I like your eyes." He replies with a warm smile.

And he comes along with his S/o when they go to get new glasses.(It gives him an excuse to admire them and their face).

His S/o: "Yeah, I think these aren't for me, they're a bit too square, I look like a college professor."

What Christian hears (while looking at them with said admiration): Blah blah blah...me...blah blah blah...square...

[wildcardsoul]

my PERSONA 3 OC!!!!!!!! Touma Hiroya :) He's a part time school nurse and researcher for SEES! He's also a little gay with Shuji. His persona is Eos! Credits and more info under the cut

Lineart and design done by my boyfriend alistartdraws! I just colored it & 3rd drawing was commission by scudoangelo on twitter

A very very brief TLDR Touma was born into an average family. mom, dad, older sibling. parents end up leaving/dying so its just the siblings on their own. older sibling ends up becoming a scientist in the kirijo group working on the experiments while touma is still going through medical school. sibling dies in the explosion, touma's now on his own struggling to afford things. has to end up dropping out of school and cant afford to pay rent so hes struggling on the streets for a bit. during the dark hour shuji finds him and yoinks him up bc hey! hes got the potential! plus hes like ohh yeah no i owe you sorry your sibling died. shuji gives him a place to stay (maybe they are roommates. idk) and helps him get in as an apprentice nurse at the school . he often visits the dorms with shuji and helps treat the kids wounds after battles and stuff

he has noooo idea about shuji's true plans and motives and genuinely falls for him . shuji.. also likes him but he's kinda conflicted bc its messing up his evil plans!!! it does not matter though he still tries to go through with them, and after getting shot touma goes to try and save him from falling off the top of tartarus, and ends up falling too. during this rush or near-death and the desire to want to protect shuji, his persona finally awakens and he's able to save him and get him patched up .. and get him into some fucking THERAPY!!!!!! and they kiss and stuff the end <3

[princess-of-the-corner]

Thinking about the Crossover and uh. I have. A lot of questions about Scooby Doo. I am so sorry.

Which Scooby Doo do you use? Or at least what's the timeline? Because it is SO unclear for these dorks! Did they start mystery solving in high school, or was that like an after they graduated thing? Are they still in high school? Do they just like live in the Mystery Machine or motel surf? Does anybody have a real job, or are they coasting on money from rich parents (bonus points if it's just Shaggy financing them, because I've always found that thought hilarious).

Are we using like the Mystery Inc canon? Other series with genuine supernatural shit going down?

Is Scrappy a villain? Did the mystery gang ever consist of Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby, Scrappy, and that weird little Flim-Flam kid? If so, where the hell were Fred and Velma during that time (I've been asking myself this forever and have never known the answer). Did it ever have just Scrappy, Scooby, and Shaggy?

Anyway, sorry to dump all this on you (and that it's not BNHA). I am currently ill and have been sitting and stewing in delirious thoughts for perhaps a bit too long.

OKAY SO

I have decided that the Scooby Gang in my au is a bit of an amalgamate of all the versions. Yoinking from different ones.

I do take a good bit of inspiration from the Mystery Incorporated series, though I'm not going all in on the eldritch gods and rewriting reality. (mostly because I think the whole 'we ended up in a reality not truly our own' could be it's own focus).

They started solving mysteries in high school, and after graduation they decide to travel and solve more mysteries. Their funding is mostly through Daphne and Shaggy's families, though the gang does accept 'hey you solved a mystery stay for free and enjoy the buffet' rewards. They also have side gigs that would get them money. Like Velma has some IT stuff and is low-key writing her own mystery novel, Shaggy and Daphne could def rock online stuff(think cooking tiktoks for Shaggy and like. Some legit journalism for Daphne because I liked that in Zombie Island).

They do often live in the van for convenience on the road trip, but they do take hotels when they plan to stay in one place for a while.

I like Scrappy well enough. I get why some audiences hated him but come on he's just a little guy. Actually I kinda went on a tangent with @azure-wolf-227 a while back of a Scrappy spin-off that was about Scrappy and his siblings being mystery solvers or something. I think in the grand scheme of things I'd kinda merge them with the Secret Six from the 'What's New Scooby Doo?" era. Where Scrappy and co show up on occasional episodes.

And yeah over time there's points where the gang is in different locations. They never really 'break up' but they do go on their own adventures at times.

[childotkw]

i love the hadrian breaking into another dimension au, it has so much potential for chaos lol...

especially depending on the timeline? i had this funny thought that if it were during 6th year, aka when dumbledore started to get serious with the horcrux hunting, he would just like... probably yoink any found ones lmao? just, mail them straight back to voldemort or something lol.

also like. im crying laughing at how scandalized everyone would be if they ever found out hadrian is not particularly on their side in the war. would he like, particularly care about hiding that part? or would it be more a case of, he doesnt really care since it wont be him dealing with the consequences (i hope so, because that would be the extra funny option)? (thats not even to speak if they ever found out who he's romantically involved with lmao, dumbledore would probably be done in by a hearattack on the spot if he did)

im sorry with spamming you with questions (though thks is still me holding back) ive just gotten over two back to back 20h flights (16h layover too) for a work trip and the only thing thats kept me from straight up Perishing was thinking about this shiny new AU of yours hahah

Lmao I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I think I was originally planning end of fifth year / sixth year for this one, so the timeline would work out for the horcrux hunting. Not sure if Hadrian would get involved in the actual hunting, but he might tell Harry that "hey if you wanna get Voldemort to stop being a dick, why not hold his soul pieces hostage rather than destroy them? Slap that bitch with an unbreakable vow while you've got leverage?"

Harry does seriously consider it, since he's not exactly keen to be a killer (even though he will do it if push comes to shove).

But oh yeah, a lot of people aren't happy when Hadrian declares himself Switzerland for this upcoming fight. He wouldn't advertise it, but he's certainly not hiding his opinions - which rubs a lot of people the wrong way because you're harry potter too, aren't you? why aren't you trying to stop voldemort as well?

Hadrian just disengages when people try to start those arguments because they refuse to listen when he outlines a) not his world, not his voldemort, not his problem; b) why kill voldemort when you can strong-arm the asshole into working with you to improve the wizarding world?; c) some of voldemort's points do kinda make sense, he's just being an extremist.

I think Hadrian would clash particularly hard with Hermione and Ron whenever these arguments take place.

Them finding out that Hadrian is fucking his version of Voldemort just disgusts them - but Hadrian doubles down whenever they try and use that against him and goes into explicit detail of how much he and Riddle get along until they leave him alone.

And don't apologise for the spam! I love it 🥰 but also omg jfc you need a nap my darling. I hope you got to fall into a good bed for a bit to recover xx

[polyhexian]

In the brother vs brother au does Will also have a murder feild trip with Willow?

That's a good question. I don't think I've decided yet who's actually going through the portal with the kids. Jasper? Will? Jasper and Will? Jasper probably doesn't lose the arm this time. As much as I love jasper going through the portal- the potential! I could leave jasper home with Darius and have him in absolute grief that hunter slipped between his fingers AGAIN. In Bvb he's been way more active in trying to straight up yoink hunter- with another active golden guard it's WAY more likely that Belos will just kill him if his mood swings that way. Or worse- this GG knows he's going to die when he's replaced and he decides to increase his chance of surviving a little longer by taking out his potential replacement. Weighted risks, leaving him he's more likely to die than he might be if jasper steals him.

So just like. Jasper back in the boiling isles having just seen the castle explode and having no idea if Hunter and the other kids are alive or not-- what happened to them either, there's no bodies, did they make it to the human realm? Are they puppets? Did they get fucking vaporized like it seems Belos did? Are they safe if they're alive? Will he ever see hunter again?

That's good content. And also the Darius drama. You kept him from me all this fucking time. You kept him with Belos all this time. But the reality that Darius WAS actively trying to protect him makes it hard to REALLY blame him, even desperate for someone to blame... And gives them three months to work that shit out. Meanwhile will has just tumbled into another dimension alongside a bunch of random children and his apprentice and he's only just realized in the last twenty four hours how much Belos sucks and that the dude who keeps trying to kidnap hunter was trying to save him FROM HIM and he WAS legitimately the one keep hunter essentially a prisoner, whoops- shit, what now- and now he's ALSO got no magic and even if all the BI kids speak BI sign, Camila and Luz certainly don't, and MOST people in small town Connecticut probably don't either. He's a little fucked there.

Poor hunter is like hey... What the fuck. And will has to be like uhhhhhhh hey. Your dad's alive. Also you have a dad. Apparently. It's the guy who keeps trying to kidnap you. Yeah hes Darius' ex I think? I don't know he never really talked about it other than saying I'd never live up to him. Uhhhh I don't know, I think he grew you? In the dirt? I'm not totally confident that's how Grimwalkers are made, Belos didn't really talk to me about that. Oh shit wait was the Grimwalker thing supposed to be a secret. Fuck. I'm really fucking this up rn. Um. The last time I saw him? Uhhhhh. Yeah uhhhh okay this sounds bad but it was getting thrown off a cliff right before we left. No I mean. I'm sure he's fine. He's probably fine. I've done worse to him. FUCK. Sorry, no, uh, I mean-

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

ok. i took a long, long time (song ref) but hi!!!!!!!!!

1. titanic fic (*cue shit-eating grin*). umum. im curious if there's anything about the morse code yet. or codes in gen actually. so. sentences with the word "code" :3

2. titanic vid!!!! Idk if you like the engineering aspects, but there still were a ton of other facts sprinkled in (spiral staircases, people that monitored coal balance, separate staff room for firemen, how they got air down there etc) https://youtube.com/watch?v=4begc_U8ygI#searching

3. surprise!! this is an interview. i have some Official Author questions for you (feel free to pick and choose, come back to this later, or just striaght up ignore lol):

3a. Do you have any authors (professional or not) that you aspire to be like one day?

3b. Following that up, are there any specific works (again, published, professional, etc or just amazing amateur works!!) that really inspire you?

3c. What made you start writing? I'm curious on anything that led to the conscious decision, of course, but additionally do you think there was anything you grew up with that "planted the seeds"? Was it any of the people from question 3a?

3d. What's the silliest (/pos) idea you've ever had for a fic? If you didn't write/publish it, why not? Was it a recent thing? If not, do you think your experience would have influenced that idea today?

if those dont make sense u can send me a messgae or something 👍👍👍 goodnight

ITS BEEN THREE DAYS but im here okay……. lets do this. hi pep :>

1) alas, i’ve been focusing on a lot of other things so i havent reached a written point of the Code Usage, which begins in like chapter 3-4. sorry man 💔 (progress has been made ! just not as much as i’d hope 😭)

2) FUN FACTS?!??!??!??!!?!!? IM WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY RN BUT IM YOINKING THIS RIGHT AFTER YIPPIE!!!!!!!!

3a) uhmmmmmmmm i dont exactly pay attention to authors as much as i pay attention to books but you know what. rick riordan. not because of anything he’s done or written but because of his audacity to write 20+ books in the same universe and still get 100000000000000 people 1000000% invested in it. i wanna write sequels forever. can i be him

3b) OHHHHHHHH UHM UHM UHM UHM the thing that got me into fanfic specifically was the fic “versability” (it was a gf fic about ‘what if ford never made the portal’, written like 2015-16, and yeah i did know of and even read a bit of fic beforehand but i was never into it) but just READING ? the land of stories by chris colfer, easy. mmmmmmmmm that was my fucking Thing. if i wasnt a baby at that time i would have WROTE. SO. MUCH. GOOD GOD. IT WAS MY THING. THE THING THAT GOT ME INTO NOVELS. URGH. alex my iconic mentally ill bisexual, conner my precious cynical boy. i need to read those again my GOD now i think about it that was fairytale fanfiction that happejed to bepublished and ohhhhh it was beautiful. im gonna read jt . iM GONNA DO IT!!!!

3c) in writing in general or just fanfic? for fanfic its that one day i had an gf fic idea (that i had to heavily revise/rewrite, but it did end up getting out eventually) that i hadnt read anything like it, and i wanted to see it. decided: hey, im shit at writing, but might as well!!!!!! 65k words later, its not a joke anymore. im a Writer now :) but as for in general, well ofc reading books. people told me in the past im creative and should get into book writing if you like reading so much. i decided well im gonna do it professionally, but might as well do something tiny, so i well uh wrote. im not gonna tell you but it certainly was Something. classic isekai mary sue dramatic plot hybrids etc etc etc but actually the queen the mc is “related” to is actually polyam and was in a relationship with both their dad and their mom and the big villain is the queen’s sister who’s pissed that both of her lovers ditched her for the human world (but actually they had to break up because because the society was not polyam friendly. there just happened to be a war after that). everything else was basic isekai except for that little crumble of lore. the queen was a bisexual. the dad was a pansexual. the mom was a lesbian. i think i ate there to be honest

3d) mmmmmm i gotta think. there was definitely a gf x amphibia au where ford got ploped in amphibia and the plantars IMMEDIATELY stole him and wrapped him up in their adventures right when the plot starting becoming a thing (early season 2). there’s one where stan and ford just….. climb a tree. it’s laced with a lot of philosophical talks straight from good omens knowledge but ultimately its just goody fun. mmmmm theres one where gabriel has no idea what crowley looks like, but he DOES know what Bildad The Shuite looks like, itd be tiny but so so so so funny. the gf/gomens crossover…..a human au based on that one tumblr post about a necromancer bringing people back from the dead to fuck with the killer and opening a discord support group….. the s1 humans + aziraphale being the victims, crowley the necromancer, and the s2 humans being the nosy outsiders who Notice things happens but can never say shit. oughhhh……… Yeah. yeah, thats good. most of these are recent except 4 the amphibia one, wouldnt change much about it even with the shit i know now EXCEPT being able to handle the relationships/emotions between the characters better, ive certainly gotten better at it and i love it. i havent published any bc either i started but couldnt finished, or just thought it was neat and moved on to plop it in the ideas folder and wait 4 inspiration.

OKAY THATS A LOT BUT THERE YOU GO sorry for the wait, man. you’re my best cupperty you know that right 🫵 ANSWERS!!!!! and ill work on titanic as fast as i can, it hasnt been forgotten !! i just gotta mow the grass….. (“short” fic wips)

[wellthebardsdead]

*Secrets Part 1*

———

Henwen: *face and body covered in heavy robes as he walks into Riften a few days after rescuing Kaidan and climbing to high hrothgar to speak with the grey beards*

Kaidan: You don’t seem to keen on heading to get the war horn. We’re a long way from morthal.

Henwen: *sighs and looks up at him* look at me Kaidan. You saw how poorly I fight. Unless it’s a bear or a troll I’m useless… How am I meant to be the dragonborn if I can’t fight beyond using a spear?… Besides, I’m running low on coin after you drank the inn out of its ale. We stay here for tonight and I try to earn us some money.

Kaidan: I said I was sorry didn’t I? And you’re not useless you just need some training. And if all else fails that’s what I’m for, it’s my job to protect you.

Henwen: You shouldn’t have to protect me though… *sighs and walks ahead a little only to jump in fright as a large brute of a man snarls at him from the shadows*

Maul: Hey! I don’t know you. You in riften looking for trouble?

Henwen: I- no I’m j-just here for work.

Maul: *pushes off the post he was leaning on to get a closer look and try to see under the elf’s hood* Work huh? What’s a shifty looking guy like you do for w- *immediately backs up as Kaidan steps forward*

Kaidan: Ay! Asshole! *grabs Henwen gently but firmly as he tucks him behind his body to keep him shielded* This one. Is under MY protection and I will seperate your head from your body faster than you can blink! If you, interfere, with us.

Maul: *visibly intimidated by the giant warrior* easy there big guy- I don’t want any trouble. *backs away and walks off*

Kaidan: *grunts at him as he leaves before looking back at Henwen* You alright?

Henwen: y-yeah. Just, caught off guard…

Kaidan: You best learn to keep it up… Especially around this place…

Henwen: aye… *walks ahead and into the tavern*

*a few hours later*

Henwen: *finished playing his lyre and singing for the lunch time crowd as they began to filter out and return to work, only to spot a handsome and well dressed man staring at him by the door* … *Nervously looks away and tucks his earnings into his concealed pocket*

???: All of skyrims songbirds are certainly envious of your voice, lad.

Henwen: *spins around and nearly jumps out of his skin seeing the man leaning against the wall next to him now* I-!?

???: I take it by how lite in the pockets you are that you’re looking for work yeah? I have an opportunity available right now suited for someone with your, nimble fingers. *gestures to the lyre in his hands*

Henwen: *stupidly thinks hes offering a music gig* oh? It depends if there’s coin involved.

???: heh, do this right, and there’ll be more gold in it for you then you could ever imagine. The names Brynjolf by the way. Follow me, I’ll show you what needs doing.

*A few moments later*

Henwen: *staring at the stolen ring in his hand, blood boiling as he looks at the poor unsuspecting dunmer he’s supposed to plant it on* … *disappears into the crowd downing an invisibility potion as he goes* trick me into trying to get an innocent person imprisoned, I’ll teach you a lesson you prick… *creeps up to Brynjolf and slips the ring into his pocket before hurrying away and reappearing, giving the red headed thief the signal of a job done*

Brynjolf: *nods and smirks thinking things are finally going right as he watches the guards accost and harass the dunmer into turning out his pockets… only to look concerned and confused as said pockets come out empty* what?…

Henwen: *suddenly points at Brynjolf* HELP! THIEF!!! HE STOLE FROM THE ARGONIAN JEWELLER!!

Brynjolf: *face a mix of shock and rage* I?! Exu- how dare you accuse me of something like that?!

Madesi: he what- don’t be ridiculous how could he o- *freezes seeing his strongbox missing the ring* I- GUARDS!

The guards: *secretly thieves too, now looking very nervous as they walk over to Brynjolf and turn out his pockets revealing the ring* Erm? Yep, there. There it is…

Henwen: *yoinks it from their hand and glares at Brynjolf, his smug little grin hidden behind his cowl as he walks off and returns the ring to the argonian* I saw him grab it when the crowd disbursed.

Madesi: *takes the ring back and gladly hands him a bag of gold* Thank you so much. I knew he had ties to the guild but they really must be desperate to pull a stunt like that. *watches as the guards lead Bryn off supposedly to jail, and the look on his face as he glares at the shrouded snow elf* You best watch your back though now… I have a feeling he’s not going to let this go easily…

Henwen: *looks back at Bryn meeting his gaze one more time* I think you’re right…

*That evening*

Henwen: *playing and singing for the tavern again. Watching Kaidan get drunker and drunker with concern, but staring at the numerous shady figures around the inn with even greater concern as they all stare back at him* Thank you all! I’m going to take a short break-

Drunkard: oiii you can’t stop now you haven’t played Ragnar the red yet!

Patron: yes he did you twit you made him sing it twice!

The tavern: *erupts with laughter and chatter as they turn their attention away from the bard, everyone except the shady figures*

Henwen: … *walks over to Kaidan quietly and hands him the money he earned* Ere, I’m going to go have a piss, don’t get too pissed while I’m out, we’re leaving early in the morning remember?

Kaidan: Aye, I remember, don’t you be getting into -*hiccups* trouble now, alright? Riftens dangerous at night.

Henwen: I know. I’ll be careful… *smiles nervously at him before walking outside, and slowly moving around to the back of the inn as if he’s casually off to do his business, only to be met face to face with Brynjolf, dressed openly in thieves guild armour, flanked by two other thieves* shit.

Brynjolf: I’m impressed lad… it’s one thing to plant a ring on some unsuspecting fool. It’s another thing to plant one in the pocket of a seasoned thief… You’ve more than proven your worth to the guild, and can’t let you slip out of our grasp now can we? Especially since you owe us a debt now.

Henwen: I owe you nothing… *backs up, reaching for his spear only to be grabbed by two rough hands from behind, one on his throat, the other on his wrist* Gaghh!! *grabs at the hand on his throat, clawing at it violently only making it squeeze tighter*

Brynjolf: Don’t damage him Dirge, he owes us a lot for making us look like a bunch of fools today… *slowly moves forward grabbing at fabric concealing the elf’s identity* and he can make his first payment by showing us what he’s hid- *goes quiet as the bloodied point of a blade stops seconds from meeting his eye*

Kaidan: Let him go. Or I’m taking your friends other arm too…

Dirge: … *slowly looks down to see his arm had been sliced completely off* … *looks at Brynjolf* …Ow… *wobbles a little before letting go of Henwen and blacking out*

[deerteetharepretty]

RAEDA WIP I FORGOT TO POST YESTERDAY LMK WHAT YALL THINK I NEED TO WORK ON

It had been a hell of a long week. Eda felt her limbs ache as she walked through the bustling market. Usually, on a night like this, she’d be home, playing board games while listening to the lamest comedy hour from her two kids. Not that it was unpleasant, far from it. The warmth she felt watching her kids get to relax and be dumb for a bit was worth the worst puns in the world.

Although, she had gotten so wrapped up in domestic parenthood during the stress of a rebellion recently that she had neglected to double-check her potion stash. Earlier that day, she had gone to grab an extra potion from her storage closet to discover her pitifully low supply. Right. Eda meant to put that on last week’s shopping list. Worried about another incident with Eda’s Owl curse, and a severe flare-up of her joint pains, Luz had promised to watch King and made her swear to get her potions. Then Luz proceeded by shoving Eda out of her own home. It was cute to see Luz cared, but Eda couldn't help feeling a little guilty for worrying her.

The Bonesburro night market wasn't always the best place to get her healing potions, but it was terrific for finding strange artifacts and books. The smell of witches' brew and apple blood coming from food vendors. Eda ignored them for now as she continued on her search. After a few minutes, she found the booth she was looking for. She grinned as she saw a strange black earring with a small red stone fox head on the counter as she checked out.

“Humm… Yeah, you're coming with me cutie. Yoink! Hey Manfred, How much for the foxy earrings? Mama’s trying out a new style today.” Eda joked along with the store owner. She didn't get many people outside her kids that enjoyed her sense of humor, so it was a welcome change to cut loose and have some sarcastic banter with a friend.

“Calamity? Fancy seeing you here.” Raine tried to seem confident as they greeted their ex. They had been hoping to see her tonight. Guilt plagued them for the fight, and they missed her. Now, In her presence, the energy crackling around the pair made Raine feel like they were flying in her arms.

“Can we talk? Alone?” The question held a tense weight between them after the last time she had seen them. Eda had tried to corner them at the Coven Day parade. Raine had pushed her away when she had made a bid for connection. Guilt surged in their chest at the memory. They had desperately wanted to speak to her then. But under the watchful gaze of Terra, Raine felt like they couldn't spare a moment alone. Terra was far too dangerous of a risk, especially when Eda had her child with her.

Eda’s sharp gold tooth glinted in the dim blue light as she turned to face Raine. Her eyes lit up before settling back into a frustrated mischievous glint at the sight of her ex. “Oh, what's this? I don't think I've ever seen you in this part of the city Rainestorm. Got something you wanna say to me?”

Raine winced. Of course, she wouldn't be too happy. They had rejected her help and harshly dismissed her concern in their last conversation. “I'm sorry I fought you. We were being watched. I didn't want to get you and your kids involved. I should have come to talk to you afterward. You didn't deserve that.”

Her snorted laugh cut through the thrum of the night market as she watched Raine squirm under her gaze. “Yeah, I would have appreciated that. It's fine. I've been doing alright.” She said with a smirk taking a step toward Raine. “But it's always more fun when I can catch up with someone important to me.”

As they spoke, Eda couldn't help but notice that something was off about Raine - there was a hesitance in their mannerisms that hadn't been present before. It only served to fan her curiosity further. “So tell me, Pretty Bard… have you finally given up that dull life you've been leading in the Emperor's service as a coven head, Or are you still following his tyrannical orders?”

“Why thank you, I missed you too Calamity.” Raine sucked in a breath at her pointed, questioning. “Okay, yeah, I probably deserved that after what I did. And no, not for a few weeks at least.”

A wicked grin spread across Eda’s face as they confessed to having left. “Ah, now we’re getting somewhere!” She exclaimed with genuine excitement. She took another step towards them. “I knew deep down inside the spark of rebellion would never truly fade away in you.”

With a sly smile, she reached out and tugged on their sleeve. The sudden motion yanked them into a tight embrace while whispering in their ear, “And now that you’re free again, we can have some real fun together and catch up.”

Raine practically melted into the hold. It was so peaceful, wrapped up in her strong arms. They were so close they hoped Eda couldn't hear their heart beating out of their chest. “I should have left years ago.” They murmured back into her hair. “I was spying on Emperor Bellos for the rebellion. Oh, Eda, I should have told you.” Raine gave special care to keep their voice low and pressed close to her ear so no one else saw. The pair looked like two lovers entwined in a romantic moment. “I would love to catch up with you. If you want, I mean.”

Her eyes gleamed as she listened to Raine's confession, her arms wrapped around their waist. A blazing interest in her eyes as she observed them. “Holy Titan, you’ve been holding out on me all this time?” She whispered back, giving them a gentle squeeze before pulling away slightly to look into their eyes. “That makes you even more fascinating, you know?” She leaned in, brushing her lips against Raine’s in a tinder kiss before pulling back with a playful grin. “Now, come on- let’s get out of here and have real fun together.”

Raine almost gasped at the touch of their lips. Their arm’s slipped into Eda's hip dips in a way they knew she loved from their past. When the two pulled back, they stared at her in awe. “I would love that!”

[cloudninetonine]

Have a tiny tidbit of something I’m writing for ya

— — — —

You looked around confused this wasn’t where you fell asleep. Hell you weren’t even in the woods anymore you were in a cave and by the crispness of the air probably in a fucking mountain. Taking in you’re surroundings you notice a small fire , an empty bed roll and the master sword ? How was she here sky-no abyss had her. Slowly getting up you grab the sword and in spect her. Unsheathing her you find no damage is anything she was glowing a bit brighter. Relief that’s what you felt from yourself and from Fi, you resheath her and put her on your back. Taking a deep breath you get ready to out but before you could you hear a set of footsteps approaching. Quickly drawing the master sword you point it towards the entrance of the cave.

The person stop at the opening. It was a hylian woman who was the same height as wild with a slimmer build. Her hair was cut short akin to a pixie cut and its color was a deep brown with red tones to it. Her attire was simple a plane cream long sleeve top brown trousers, dark brown boots that stop below her knees, and simple amor a mix between metal and leather. She had a simple broad sword and a sheikah slat on a belt. Her complexion was sun kissed showing the she was a seasoned adventure and from what you could see she had freckles. She had a calm expression almost stoic, she then glanced at the sword in your hand. You remember who she is that’s, Mayu she’s a “link” from a fanfic you read back home. It was honestly pretty good and the author even wrote her a separate fic were she met the chain. That’s right! She got to camp a day after you ran into the twisted versions of the chain and with another linksona named Luna who’s from another person’s fic Did she save you?

Lowering fi you looked at her confused “where are we?” She smiles a bit “ somewhere safe for right now.” Your eyes go wide , she spoke?!? She never speaks! “Holy shit you’re speaking to me?!” She laugh a bit then nods “ I don’t see why I wouldn’t guide , I trust ya as well. Also to answer your questions yes I knew that those links were acting and looks different than normal. Lunar and I decided to split up for a bit for safety reasons. Lunar tiger beast Ezmi grabbed ya while you were sleeping and I yoinked fi with help from my sheikah amor. We ran to here and about two hours ago Lunar went off on her own.” Welp she was right that was all of your questions. “ yeah that makes sense..” letting out a sigh you look around the cave “so what know? We staying here ?” Mayu shakes her head “ no sadly we have to get moving , eventually that wolf man will find us. We pack up the bed rolls and head down the mountain and find the nearest stream to wash away any scent we have. I’m sorry but we also have to travel by foot for 70% of the day only stopping to eat, tiny breaks and to sleep. “ she didn’t look to happy about this either but you just nodded “ I understand, let’s pack up and head out breakfast can wait. “ walking over to the small fire you put it out with some cave dirt and roll up the bed you woke up on.

Mayu walks in to the cave and rolled up hers putting both in her slate. “Let’s get going.” And with that you both started your decent. You had any thoughts running through your head. Mainly about the villian chain as you dubbed them cuz they were acting like stereotypical game villains looked like them too. “Hey Mayu, if we did run into them what will we do?” Mayu looked at you with a serious expression “ you will run and keep Fi safe. They want you for some reason. I’ll stay and fight.” Dear hylia you forgot that she’s like wild mixed with twilight and wars. She would rather die fighting then surrender. “You have a death wish did you not see what time looks like?! “ Mayu just smirks and nods “oh I have , but he doesn’t scare me. He may have the looks of the fierce deity but he’s to him. And besides he doesn’t have the gods blessing I do.” Her aura instantly changed. Looking at the reflection of the smallish waterfall you two were walking past behind her reflection was the reflection of the very god you were talking about. Looking right at you with a small smirk you knew one thing and one thing only, he was at his full power and you prayed you never got to see it in action. You remember the ending of Mayus main story and you could only describe the finale fight that he helped as brutal. Looking back at path a head of you , you pushed that thought to the side , right now you need to survive, not think about any possible deaths.

———

Uhhh this is longer than I thought it would be. Anyways enjoy!! Luna belongs to Pandora - Lunar

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THIS LUNEY THIS IS AMAZING!

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE FINISHED PRODUCT!

[incorrectcomicbookquotes]

Incorrect Manga Quote 22

Kirishima: (during lunch) Hey, what's going on, Shoji? Things going good with your girlfriend?

Shoji: Kirishima, I've told you before, I'm not in a relationship.

Kirishima: ... well, uh, catch the game last night...? Boy, that Kanye guy sure is crazy, am I right-?

Shoji: (annoyed) Kirishima, are you just being nice to me so I'll show you what's under my mask?

Kirishima: We've known each other for like ten years, man! I'm sorry, I'm really curious!

Shoji: I'll say it again; no, it is my privacy, and I have a right to keep it. I'm not going to show you, and you need to learn to deal with it-

Tetsutetsu: (sneaks up from behind and pulls the mask off) YOINK! HA HA! GOT YOU-oh...

Kirishima: ... you wear braces?

Shoji: (sigh) I'm self-conscious about how they look and this was the best I could do, okay?

Tetsutetsu: ... y'know, I was kinda expecting something more fantastical.

Shoji: (angry) Well, not every secret is fantastic! Some of them are embarrassing! Thanks, jackass!

Kirishima: (guilty) Yeah, honestly, that wasn't cool, Tetsutetsu.

Tetsutetsu: ... well, if it makes you feel better, here's what's on my chest. (takes off his shirt to reveal a second face breathing heavily)

Kirishima & Shoji: (horrified)

Shoji: Do... do you need medical help or-?

Tetsutetsu: (crying) It's too late for us.

[reaper-bloodmoon]

(Starry Royalty) The Day They Met...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guardian Bear Kingdom, H7 Multiverse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moon, the old one, had decided to visit the multiverse connected to his own in some way. Of course, it wasn't exactly easy given he had to sneak around his whole family and new little brother, Atlas, but he managed it in the end. They had ended up in a rather grandeur kingdom where literally every being that lived here was huge in comparison, or at least the adults were.

Moon: Ugh....I'm starving...oh hello...!

Moon had stumbled upon a bakery, and it appeared to be a rather popular one given that it looked quite busy at the moment.

Moon: Ah screw it, their treats might actually be decent.

Moon swung the door open, walking up to the order line to see a...very tall half wolf toon person in front of them, looking all dressed up and appeared to be struggling to pick some treats to take home.

Moon: Uh....hey...

WolfQueen: !!! Holy shenron on a stick-!

WolfQueen whacked Moon with their tail as they spun around, knocking Moon onto his ass onto the floor.

Moon: Nyagh, geez!

WolfQueen: Ugh...shit, I, er....

WolfQueen awkwardly helped Moon get up, feeling rather embarassed.

WolfQueen: ...Sorry...I wasn't expecting anyone to straight up talk to me yet.

Moon: Yet??

WolfQueen: I'm trying to figure out what to order before my "blind date" comes around. My younger cousin set it up for me because I'm okay with at least trying this whole "dating" thing.

Moon: ....Oh, you too?

WolfQueen: ...AroAce spec too?

Moon: Yes!

WolfQueen: Agh, yes, my homie!

The entire interaction looks like it's straight outta some cartoon, WolfQueen yoinking Moon into a side hug against her hip. Moon can't really help the slight heat in his face at being this physically close to someone.

WolfQueen: ....You good?

Moon: Mmmmm yup totally fine.

WolfQueen: Well okay then.

It's now WolfQueen's turn to order, having decided on what she'll be getting. Moon, meanwhile, starts stammering and acting kinda flustered due to the fact the bakery owners are standing there without any clothes on, fur covering them from head to toe but still, seeing giant bear people without any clothes on wasn't on their bingo card today.

WolfQueen: I'll be taking four moon muffins and two choco mint shakes please.

Moon: Wait, why are you-?

WolfQueen: It's for me and you, I'm not about to miss an opportunity to treat my new friend. Besides, you seem like my type of person.

Moon: ...You don't care that I'm an animatronic?

WolfQueen: Uh, duh?? Animatronics have rights in this multiverse you know.

Moon: ...WE DO??

WolfQueen: ...Do they not where you're from?

Moon: No, we have to sign everything under a human alias! You mean to tell me that I could own a house in this world and no one would bat an eye at the fact I'm an animatronic!?

WolfQueen: Uh, yeah.

Moon: ...Fuck it I'm gonna live in this multiverse for the most part at least I have rights here!

Azure(OC by u/SnacksAttacked on Reddit, he's an old friend that makes stuff that takes place in the H7 multiverse): Your muffins and choco mint shakes are ready, that will be 20 gold.

WolfQueen: Here you go, thanks.

WolfQueen hands Azure the 20 gold and takes Moon with them over to a nearby table, setting the food and drinks down.

Moon: So...gold's the currency here?

WolfQueen: Gold and silver, the entire economy was redone because humans are no longer the dominant species here.

Moon: And...no crazy ass giant brain is behind it?

WolfQueen: Nope, just a war between humans and non-humans where the humans lost and the remaining population had to be sent to live on this one island.

Moon: ....Wild...

WolfQueen: Yeah I know, it is pretty wild. But, again, animatronics have rights here so that could be seen as a positive.

Moon: True.

It's then that WolfQueen's blind date shows up, who appears to be a toon cat person with a rather sketchy vibe.

??: Uh....is WolfQueen here?

Moon: ...Okay do not like the vibes of them at all.

WolfQueen: Oh my kami kai did Lake even do a background check on the guy, kami damnit Lake!

Moon: Lake?

WolfQueen: They're the younger cousin that set this up, let's just finish eating and go, you're coming with me since I don't have my spear on me.

Moon: ....Okay-

??: Heyyyy you must be WolfQueen, right? You're a lot...taller than I expected.

WolfQueen: Tch, that a bad thing?

??: Well...I mean....tall girls aren't usually-

Moon: Stopping you right there buddy, one derogatory comment towards them and I skin you alive.

??: Oh come on, they're my date, man!

Moon: Not anymore, my date now bitch.

??: What??

WolfQueen: WHAT?!?!

Moon: Yup, come on, let's go, I got our drinks since we finished those muffins pretty quick.

WolfQueen: Haha okay, was gonna do that anyway before we got stopped by this bozo.

WolfQueen hooks her left arm around one of Moon's, leaving the toon cat person behind, seething in anger.

??: You can't just do that!!

Moon: Oh I can, and I just did. Later loser.

??: I will make you regret this!

Moon and WolfQueen completely ignore them, WolfQueen breathing a sigh of relief while shaking their head.

WolfQueen: You actually just claimed me as your date, that's real bold of you.

Moon: Eh, I can be.

WolfQueen: ...Heh, like that in a person. But also, like, do you wanna get to know each other even more now?

Moon: Yeah sure why not? Got nothing better to do anyway now other than finally claiming a home under my actual name later.

WolfQueen: I can help with finding a place for ya if you want.

Moon: Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks, uh...

WolfQueen: WolfQueen Inui. You can just call me Queenie.

Moon: Ah...uh, just call me Moon.

WolfQueen: Got it, cool.