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miam0re · 3 years ago

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Getting Caught Making Out | Tears of Themis

Warning: SFW, Making out, hickies, more stuff(???)

Pairing: Artem, Luke, Marius, Vyn, Rosa X Fem!Reader (Separate)

Mia’s notes: This story went through so many changes, literally it is a mix of Getting caught+Leaving a hickey on you+Their opinion on PDA. I just gave up and stuck to Getting Caught. Also this is my first FxF write up! It’s not a full fiction, but it is a starting and I am proud of myself uwu Good thing I had this in my drafts huh. I'll write more when I feel better uwu Happy reading loves.

WC: 0.8k per character

Artem values his privacy. He usually wouldn’t choose to engage in any intimate activity anywhere apart from your apartment or his.

Maybe a simple kiss on the cheek or your hand, or when he’s feeling a little bold, he’ll peck your lips and then whip his head away, a pretty red blush settling on his face.

You didn’t mind. Artem loved you and he expressed so in own ways.

But it seemed like he was the one who started to mind that.

The man who used romance movies and psychology books as reference and guidance for his own love life was bound to come across the concept of ‘Public Display of Affection.’

The lead female blushed profusely when the lead male pinned her to her private office’s desk and kisser her passionately. Do you want Artem to do the same?

So he thought to himself, maybe one little kiss in his office would be nice for the both of you. He’d be kissing you in public while avoiding the public. You would probably like that, wouldn’t you?

If only sweet Artem had kept in mind how addicted he was to your kisses. One touch and he was a goner.

The pen stand on Artem’s desk rattled when your hips collided with the edge of the desk, a strangled moan escaping your lips at the force of the impact.

He pulled away from your kiss swollen lips, eyes boring into yours. “Sorry.” He muttered out before devouring your lips in a kiss once again, mercilessly sucking on your bottom lip. His hands roamed your sides, finding home on your hips.

It was like Artem was drunk on the taste of your lips, the feel of your body in his arms. He couldn’t seem to get enough, losing any drop of rationality he had.

“Artem…you said one kiss…” You whimpered when he pulled away to trail his lips down your neck. With a hum to your skin, he replied. “I haven’t stopped yet. This counts as that one kiss.” The adrenaline pumping through his veins gave him a courage he’d never felt before, and it was exciting.

Unfortunately, all the excitement in his flew out when the frosted glass door to his office flung open and Celestine walked in on the two of you. Artem quickly lifted his head from your neck, glancing at the intruder.

“Celestine!” He squeak and then coughed to cover up the crack in his voice, subconsciously reaching his fingers up to fix his tie. “Do you need something?” He asked, knowing full well that he would be subject to a huge amount of teasing once you leave. His fingers brushed back his hair, trying to fix the mess caused by your fingers tugging at his locks.

You pushed yourself from the table and stood behind Artem, letting him fail at handling the situation while you fixed your shirt.

When you peek from the side of his arm, you caught sight of the woman's cheeky smirk, eyes jumping between you and your boyfriend.

“Oh right. Y/N, the meeting regarding the last case is starting soon, you should probably head on since Rosa is waiting. And Artem, board meeting in 10. They want you there.” Her eyes glimmered in mischief as you shuffled towards the door with your head down, mumbling a quick ‘bye bye’ to them.

Celestine grabbed your shoulders and pulled the collar of your shirt up, hiding a red blotch that Artem so carelessly left on your soft skin. “Aren’t you going to kiss your boyfriend goodbye Y/N?” Celestine teased, looking at Artem from the corner of her eye. The way his ears turned red as his fingers rested on the bridge of his nose was a sight to see.

Your eyes widened in bafflement…but you couldn’t deny to desire to do so. Quickly, you darted to him, pulling him down by his tie to plant your lips against his burning cheek, and then sprinted out of the room. In that moment, you were no slower than the Flash.

And then there was silence, Artem cursing himself internally for getting carried away, as he fixed himself up as best as he could. Celestine giggled and walked to him, flattening out his blazer. Her eyes tried making contact with his cyan orbs, but he kept dodging her gaze.

“Artem.”

“Please don’t say anything.”

“I’m proud of you. You finally did something risky, huh?”

“Please, Celestine.”

“You even left a hickey!”

“Please just shut up.”

Luke is more confident when it comes to your relationship, but he is also very respectful; of you and of others.

Maybe that old lady standing over there wouldn’t appreciate him devouring your mouth in a kiss in the middle of the mall, or that child will get disgusting and her parents will glare daggers at you both.

Which is why his kisses are soft and sweet.

Fingers cradling your face with such gentleness, you’d think he just came back from holding the clouds and lips just brushing on top of yours in sweet adoration.

But sometimes he can’t help but kiss you like he’s never before. Seeing your beautiful smile and your eyes glazing into his, brimming with love, it makes his heart race as he takes quick strides towards you.

Every passionate kiss he presses to your lips makes you dizzy.

But maybe the store lobby wasn’t the best place to start this, even though if it was his own store.

“Luke…” Your voice is small as your mouth is covered with his lips moving against yours in a desperate pace. When he parted from your lips to catch his breath, you could see the ruby red of his irises peek between his half closed eyes, nothing but love swirling in them.

When he kissed you again, he pushed you softly against a display cabinet, careful to not hurt you with his grip on your waist, knowing how his strength can get the better of him sometimes. His fingers lifted you chin in the perfect angle for him so mould his lips against yours.

You carded your hands through his hair, holding him tightly when he pulled away to ghost kisses down your cheeks to your throat. “How…are you…so…beautiful?” He commented in between kisses and lick to your delicate skin, taking pride in the way you shivered and sighed loudly.

The store bell jingled loudly, making Luke squeak and jump back from you, his back hitting a display shelf. Dramatically the shelf shook, but thankfully it came to a still after swaying.

“Hi Luke. Y/N.” That familiar cheeky voice came from the door and the both of you turned to look at the intruder. “Maruis, Rosa, it’s good to see you.” You blushed, trying so hard to look normal and slow down your racing heart.

Luke on the other hand was quite composed, minus the blooming red blush on his cheeks. His training must have really taught him how to exercise his poker face. But Mr. Von Hagen was going to have those walls broken down.

“Ya know, if you both want to make out, at least do it somewhere more private.” The raven haired boy teased, winking at you. Rosa went ahead and smacked him for his intrusion. “It’s fine you guys! People get caught kissing all the time!” Rosa tried making thee situation less awkward…by making it more awkward.

Luke’s eye twitched as he tried denying any and every accusation that Marius threw at him. Unfortunately with every exchange of words, your blush grew deeper and deeper.

“Luke you both were definitely making out.”

“What proof do you have?”

“Your hair is all messy.”

“We were exercising.”

“Exercising your mouths. Alright, time to use the wild card.” Marius cracked his knuckles and smirked widely.

“You were making out behind a glass cabinet, Y/N was playing with your hair which is why it’s all messy, your kissing sounds were so audible, like please have mercy on Y/N. And-“ Maruis faced you as you hid your face in Rosa’s shoulder in pure embarrassment.

“Y/N has a hickey forming on her neck.”

You squealed and hid your body behind Rosa. If you had it your way, you would have wished for a meteor to strike you down then and there.

Even Luke’s facade faltered after hearing Marius’s reasoning. His ears turned pink as his eyes glared daggers at the unwanted guest.

Marius smiled at having rendered Luke and you speechless.

“Gotcha.” He giggled, oblivious to the trouble he brewed for himself.

Marius doesn’t care who sees him kissing you. Even the where part doesn’t matter to this boy, be it the location where he’s caught or the places where his kisses touch your skin.

He’s cocky, he’s proud and he’s very loud. Always wanting to show you off and let everyone know that you are his and he is yours.

If you ever happen to pass by him in the hallways of college, or even in the NXX headquarters, he will shamelessly grab you and plant his lips on yours.

Expect little kisses anywhere and everywhere, he will grab you cheeks and kiss them, kiss your neck, kiss your hand. You’re going to have to swat him away like a fly.

He just loooooves kissing you and seeing your innocent blush is the highlight of his day! You little squeals and reactions make his heart melt and he just wants to keep on kissing you to see those adorable expressions again.

And if anyone does walk in, they’re in for a show.

“Slow down boy…” You panted as Marius picked you up and seated you on the table in his office, letting your legs dangle on either side of his hips.

He hummed while pulling away from your neck, admiring the glistening red spot of skin he made. A pretty mark for everyone to know you’re taken.

“Missy…you want me to stop?” He pouted, knowing that it was your biggest weakness, apart from his dizzying kisses. You started spluttering, wrapping your arms around his neck as he ran smooth circles on your thigh, sneaking under your skirt.

“I didn’t say that…I’m just telling you to slo-“ he squished your cheeks and tugged you into him, shushing you with his mouth. He smirked into the kiss, fervently running his tongue over your lips and danced with your tongue until you sighed in happiness and gave in.

See your submission, he pulled away to wink at you. “Do you really want slow?” He let his hands wander up your shirt as he leaned closer to blow against your burning ear. “I think you’re enjoying me not being slow“ And he continued to kiss your ear and neck, giggling at the taste of your skin.

The door slid open and in walked Vincent, Marius’s personal assistant. Your position was such that Marius had his back towards the door, and given the advanced technology of soundless doors, he didn’t notice the intruder.

But you did, your eyes meeting the horrified grey ones of the boy.

“Ma-Marius!” You squeal and push at his shoulder, eyes still fixated on Vincent. Confused, your boyfriend pulled away and followed your gaze to Vincent.

Upon seeing the pale looks on both of your faces he laughed, coughing in a fake manner when you glared at him with blushing cheeks.

“Uh Vincent is there something you need? You were kinda interrupting something here.” Marius winked, wrapping his arm around you waist once you stand up straight.

“Master! There were some…uhh… papers! Yes! They require your immediate attention.” Vincent stumbled over his words while diverting his gaze as you straightened your skirt and Marius fixed the buttons of his shirt.

“Aww so I’ll have to leave Y/N? But I was having fun.” He whined, again with those puppy eyes, but they proved ineffective on Vincent who had seen them many times.

“Sorry but you need to head to the conference room immediately. You can…continue later Master.” Vincent looked to the ground, kicking himself for wording his sentence like that.

You were blushing and chose to stay quiet, lest you make the situation worse. Marius sighed and turned to you, leaning down to peck your lips and then your neck, the tingling sensation of the split second contact making you blush.

“I’ll see you later Missy.” And with a kiss blown in your direction, he was leaving the room.

That left Vincent and you in the room, alone and awkward.

Vicent coughed and walked to the desk, opening a drawer with a first aid kit. You raised your eyebrow and looked at him curiously, seeing him pull out a bandaid and extend it in your direction.

“You probably need this. There’s…umm..there’s a mark on…your neck.” He murmured nervously, avoiding your embarrassed face.

Vyn does prefer to get intimate in more comfortable environments such as your house or his.

But that doesn’t stop his cheeky little self from wanting to play games with you and your mind. Very big tease.

He’ll make note of the environment he’s in, checking how crowded it is and where all can people possibly walk in from. And once he has the all clear, his lips will magnetically fall upon yours.

Vyn will hold you in an empty room in the NXX headquarters and kiss you silly, not stopping even after hearing your protests that someone might walk in.

He just wants to see if you’ll compose yourself well enough, should such a situation arise. Will you be able to smile normally after having him kiss you like no tomorrow?

Of course, Vyn is only human and he too sometimes gets lost into the intensity of his little experiment.

Which lead to him reacting slower to the door opening. Not that he really minds. You’re his lover and isn’t it normal for lovers to kiss?

You didn’t even notice when Vyn pulled you in his lap as he sat on the desk chair. The seat rocked under you as your knees touched his hips. “Vyn!” You gasped and wrapped your arms around his neck, afraid the momentum would knock you over.

“It’s alright dear. Nothing is going to happen to you.” You neck was a breath away from his lips and he took the chance to latch his mouth on your neck. He sucked softly, teeth grazing your flesh. He hummed at your whimpering self as he trailed his lips upwards.

“Give me a kiss?” He asks against your lips, smiling on the inside. How could you say no to him when he stared at you with those golden eyes of his?

With a nervous nod you held his face in your hands and pressed your lips against his. Right as you pulled away from what you were hoping would be a little peck, he grabbed the back of your head and tugged you back, slamming your mouths together.

A steamy kiss later he let you part to take deep breaths. “You didn’t really think a little kiss would be enough, did you?” He teased, shaping patterns on your thigh and hovering his lips on yours.

“I…I” You gulped, finding the words in your flooding mind.

You can thank the beeping of the door open to rid your head of any thoughts, leaving your mind too blank to react.

Artem stood at the door with his eyes wide in shock, not expecting to walk in on the view of you on Vyn’s lap with his lips centimetres away from yours.

Man really just wanted some files.

“Artem.” Vyn greeted, as if he wasn’t just making out with you. Whereas you, you had lost all knowledge of human communication, resorting to gaping like a fish.

Artem sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Vyn this is far from appropriate. You can’t…just do that here.”

When sense finally clicked in you, you scrambled off Vyn’s lap and fixed your clothes, averting your haze from Artem’s.

“It’s your fault for walking in. Should have knocked Artem.” Vyn taunted, striking a cunning pose as he sat on the chair; his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward and supported his face with the back of his hands.

“Vyn this is a professional organisation.” Artem quipped back and you suddenly felt more uncomfortable than when Artem caught you almost kissing.

Seeing you fidgeting on your heels in discomfort, Vyn pulled back. “Very well. We’ll try to not get caught next time.”

“Meeting in 5.” Artem groaned and left the room, knowing that that was the best he would get out of the stubborn doctor.

“Vyn that was so embarrassing!” You squealed and hid your face in his shoulder when he rose to hug you.

He chuckled softly and kissed your forehead, trying to calm you down. Such a fail. And it really didn’t help when he kissed a specific spot on your neck, one he’d given great attention to during your make out.

“Wear this mark with pride, my dear.”

Rosa is very shy. You would have to be the one to initiate something, only then would you get to see the confident side of her.

Keep throwing hints at her that you really want to kiss her; hold her hand and rub her knuckles, find excuses to be alone with her.

All this really riles her up.

She kinda loves it when you kiss her in public. It makes her feel really special even if it is just a small peck to her cheeks. She knows your true intentions and can’t stop that blush on her face.

And when you find a moment alone with her, she’s pouncing on you.

Rosa is a woman who does indeed have a wild side, it’s just hidden under her layers of shyness.

When you guys are kissing, her hands are all over you, nervously groping your soft flesh and playing with your hair.

She does consider the possibility of being caught, but getting a taste of your lips makes her thoughts foggy.

Being the overthinking girls you are, you and Rosa found yourselves waiting in the NXX conference room one hour before the meeting was to happen. With so much time, what else were you supposed to do if not kiss your girlfriend breathless?

Your lips moulded with hers perfectly, hand inching up her skirt as her fingers curled in the hem of your skirt. She tasted of the candy you just shared a few minutes ago. Eager to get more of that taste, you gently rolled your tongue on hers, hearing her whimper in response.

Her fingers brushed over your cheek and pushed you away.

“Y/N…” she whispered your name and panted, face so very red and cute. You knew that even your face was flushed after that kiss, but neither of you found yourselves stopping.

“Yes sweetheart?” You smiled.

Her knees bumped against yours as she jumped on you, pinning you to the couch with her hips straddling yours. You squeak and manage to turn a shade redder when her face inched closer to yours.

“Woah! Rosa!” You moaned in a hushed tone, sighing at the sensation of her kissing down your neck. Your fingers ran circles over her tights, tugging and releasing the elastic material against her skin.

“What if someone sees us like this sweetheart?” You groan when her mouth latched against your lower lip, eating up anything else you had to say.

She really should have thought of an answer.

“Rosa, you didn’t answer Y/N’s question.” A familiar voice came from the door, making you and Rosa whip your head to the group of boys. Vyn stood in front smiling at you as if you weren’t just eating each other’s faces, Marius had the biggest shit eating grin and finally Artem and Luke where looking anywhere else but at you, respecting your privacy.

“Oh my God!” Rosa jumped up and curled into a ball on the far end of the couch as you stayed laying against the cushions, covering your blushing face with your arm.

“How long have you guys been standing there?” You sighed, trying to keep your confident face on.

“A good minute. Mind if I join in on the fun?” Marius teased while walking to you, plopping in between you and the armrest when you sat up.

“Pervert.” You punched his shoulder and wrapped you arm around Rosa’s body, letting her shrink against your chest.

“Do you need some ice Y/N? What about you Rosa? You were really going at it. I can see the marks so clearly.” Marius kept on with his jest, ignoring the groans of the other members of the team.

“Shut up Marius. You’re just jealous they’re getting some action and you’re not.” Luke grumbled, eyes widening when he realised what he just spoke.

You and Rosa looked at your childhood friend with faces twisted in irritation. He started stammering, finding words. “No! I didn’t, I didn’t mean that! I just…no…I’m sorry….just..I’ll shut up.” He coughed and opened a random file, acting all serious.

“It’s not a big matter, you both. Kissing is very normal.” Vyn piped up. Was he trying to help? Because all that did was make you blush.

You hid your face in your hands. “Artem, I swear if you are going to make an addition to this conversation, I will resign from the company.” You looked up to see his mouth open, almost ready to speak.

He coughed. “I was just going to inform you that…your shirt is a little…unbuttoned.”

Meeting over. You were going to die of embarrassment.

#tears of themis #tears of themis luke #tears of themis artem #tears of themis vyn #tears of themis marius #tears of themis rosa #fem reader #tears of themis x reader #mia.writes

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youbloodymadgenius · 4 years ago

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Nunky! (Modern!Ivar x reader - Modern!Ivar x OCs niece and nephew)

A/N: This is my entry to @flowers-in-your-hayr 650 Followers Celebration �� Congrats again, love 🌸 And thanks for this amazing moodboard 😍

I'm awfully late, sorry about that. The truth is, do you know what it is to struggle? Let me tell you: there were three other drafts before this final version. More than 4000 words... All trashed...

Anyway, I'm quite happy with this one, that's all that matters.

@geekandbooknerd, thanks for beta reading this for me 🌺

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Summary: Ever wonder what kind of uncle Ivar would be? Let me show you 😉

Warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff 🙈

Words: 1978

"We're going to play Pete the Cat or Sneaky Snacky Squirrel Game, you in?" He shouts at you from the deck.

Lazily lying on a sunbed in the shade of an oak, you don't bother opening your eyes. As much as you love board games, there's no way you're leaving this perfect spot. Not yet, and certainly not for the next two hours.

"No, I'm good." You shake your head for emphasis, even if you're not sure he can see you.

"Okay lovebug, see you later," he says tenderly before changing his tone, "All right kiddos, get ready to lose!"

You let out a chuckle as Viola and Soren, feeling offended, express loudly their discontent. And you can't help but laugh. You know he's going to let them win anyway. He may be a sore loser who hates to lose and would do anything to win, whether in business or in a game, but things are different when it comes to his niece and nephew. That's just how much he loves them.

Your multi-faceted lover…

To the world, he is Ivar Ragnarsson, the crippled son – and true heir – of the mighty Ragnar Lothbrok, and, till last year – till you – Scandinavia's richest and most eligible bachelor, and all this in spite of his legs.

To his employees and business partners, he's an arrogant, cranky, demanding, cold-hearted, smart as hell, and very successful business tycoon. Oh, if they could see him right now, they wouldn't believe their eyes. No dress shirt, no suit pants, no blazer. With a backwards baseball cap, a basic black tee-shirt and stonewashed jeans, he looks more like a boy than a crafty businessman.

To you, he's the man you've been in love with for eight months; a complex human being, for sure, full of contradictions: so self-confident and yet in some ways so self-conscious; outwardly tough but at times so incredibly vulnerable. You won't lie, he can be infuriating; he's stubborn, strong-headed and short tempered. But he's awfully clever, deadpan and… well... devastatingly handsome, with his impossibly beautiful features and his otherworldly icy blue eyes. He's a fantastic lover too, unexpectedly caring and attentive, loyal and faithful.

To Viola and Soren, his favorite brother's children, he's Uncle Ivar – or Nunky, as Viola calls him – the best uncle ever, funny and mischievous, loving and supportive. He's always ready to go out of his way to teach them all the cool stuff kids are supposed to know; silly jokes, riddles and magic tricks. He's their favorite babysitter, the one who is completely devoted to them, the one who feeds them ice cream and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, before reminding them conspiratorially, with a finger on his lips: "You know the deal, sweet peas! Not a word to your mom."

You remember as if it were yesterday your first meeting with them.

Soren, chocolate all over his face, greets you with a big smile, immediately asking you if you want to play hide-and-seek with them. On the other hand, Viola looks at you from head to toe, scrutinizing you intensely. With her lips pursed and her brows creased, she doesn't seem very pleased, to say the least. The seconds tick by and finally, placing her tiny hands on her hips, the little girl takes a deep breath. "I don't want to play with her. I don't like her." The hostility in her tone can't be missed.

Speechless, you look at Viola with wide open eyes. You usually have a way with kids and are honestly a little stunned by such an unfriendly welcome.

"Viola, please…" Ivar grumbles, rolling his eyes, but he doesn't have time to say another word. "No, Nunky! You told me she was your lover!" Ah, now you're beginning to see her problem, and it brings a small smile on your lips.

Viola points an accusing finger towards you. "Are you Nunky's lover?"

You nod playfully but Viola doesn't seem the least bit amused. "That's why I don't like you. And just so you know, you may be Nunky's lover now, but I'm going to marry him. I just have to wait a little," she frowns, thoroughly concentrated, "I need to be a little older, maybe like… that," she stretches out the fingers of both hands in front of her, "but Nunky is going to marry me. Me, not you. So, you might as well leave right now."

You struggle to hold back your laughter, aware that this is a very serious matter for her.

"Come here, baby girl." Rubbing a hand over his face, Ivar pats his knees and then helps his niece as she climbs onto his lap. "We've talked about this, little bird, remember? We're not getting married, not in ten years, not ever." He speaks so softly, and there's so much love in his eyes, you feel like you're melting.

"But, I lo–" Viola interjects with a pout, but Ivar stops her, shaking his head. "There's no buts, baby love. Uncles do not marry nieces. That's the way it is and that's how it must be. And yes," he looks at you fondly, "Y/N is my lover. But it doesn't change anything. I'm not going anywhere, Viola. I'll always be in your life. I love you." He gently ruffles Soren's hair. "I love you both. You have no idea how much I love you."

You must have dozed off and are awakened by Viola high-pitched squeals of joy. "Oh yeah, let's go into the backyard." Hmph! Looks like you're going to have company. Bye bye peacefulness.

Well, so be it.

Yawning, you stretch like a cat before sitting up. Ivar and the kids are on the deck and you wave at them. Soren casts you a broad smile and takes two steps towards the backyard but Viola stops him.

"Wait, Soren! Nunky," you don't need to see her to know that she's blinking her big, beautiful blue eyes at Ivar, "please, we are tired. Right Soren?"

Viola's brother nods tentatively as Ivar bursts out laughing. "Is that so, munchkin?" Putting on a thinking face, he stares blanky up in the air for a second or two, tapping a forefinger on his chin. "Let me guess, you want a ride, baby girl? Soren, buddy boy, would you mind fetching the princess's carriage for me, please?"

At this point, you know exactly what is going to happen, yet it never ceases to amaze you. And as sure as the sun rises from the east, the next moment Soren is pushing a wheelchair in front of him, coming to a halt next to his uncle. Ivar immediately sits down, slipping his crutch into the intended holder attached to the backrest.

Reaching out, he now gently grabs Viola's wrist. "Your carriage awaits, princess." The little girl climbs very carefully onto his lap before wrapping her chubby arms around his neck.

Ivar pulls her closer, "Hold tight, princess!" and as soon as he's sure she's securely seated, he grabs his push rims and pops a wheelie, Viola bursting with laughter. He then looks at Soren, cracking him a smile. "I'll give you a ride too, bumblebee, stay put."

Soren, older than Viola and always overprotective when it comes to his beloved uncle, frowns, concern all over his boyish face. "You sure I'm not too heavy now? I'm over fifty-five pounds, you know?"

Ivar laughs, an easy smile on his plump lips. "Don't worry, I'll be just fine." A smile tugging up the corner of his mouth and Viola giggling on his lap, he rolls towards the wide wooden ramp leading to the backyard.

Ivar hates using his wheelchair. He despises it. He's very secretive about it. The truth is, it took him two months to tell you that he sometimes needed one and another two months to actually use it in front of you.

He hates it so much that he would rather crawl than use it. Actually, that's what he does every night, after taking off his leg braces.

Yet, he keeps his old wheelchair here, at his brother's house. For recreational purposes only; or in other words for Viola's and Soren's enjoyment. And he gives them rides, up and down the ramp, sometimes for hours, popping wheelies here and there. Because Viola and Soren love that and it makes them laugh. Because he would do everything and anything to make them happy.

That's just how much he loves them.

Ivar pulls a sunbed next to you and flops down on it, stifling a hiss of pain. "Where are the kids?" Raising yourself up on one elbow, you kiss him, your free hand gently stroking the tight muscles of his right thigh.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he kisses you back. "Gathering the things they want to take to the beach."

You want to give him a disapproving look, but you won't. You know better. You know him.

He shouldn't go to the beach. Not today. He woke up in pain this morning. Walking in the sand is a struggle even on good days. He'll pay for it later. You know he knows it. And you know he'll do it no matter what, and whatever it takes.

Because that, he can do.

Sometimes, you catch a hint of sadness in his eyes. When Soren and Viola are running and he can't run after them, because running is simply not an option for him. When they are jumping on the trampoline and he can't join them, because it would end with broken bones. When they are playing football, or riding a bike, or skating. When they are tree climbing, or playing gunny sack race, or rock climbing, or playing hopscotch, or skipping rope, or dancing, or…

But walking in the sand, even if not easy, that, he can do.

He's going to struggle all the way – wincing, hissing, silently swearing, even dragging his right leg with his hand if necessary – until they reach their favorite spot, a small cove shielded from the wind, with marvelous pebbles and smooth sand. And he will sit for hours, his legs aching, making sandcastles even though, even as a child, he didn't like that. Because it doesn't matter. Because Soren and Viola matter. And the sparkle in their eyes will bring a smile to his face. Their laughter will make it all worthwhile.

Yeah, this is what he's going to do, for Soren's and Viola's happiness. And you know there's nothing you can say or do that is going to change his mind.

That's just how much he loves them.

⚔️"What are you thinking about, love?" Ivar's soft voice pulls you out of your thoughts as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

"I was thinking what a fantastic uncle you are." You reply genuinely, your thumb grazing his cheek. "And what a fantastic father you will be one day. The father of our kids."

Ivar blinks several times. You know that no matter how many times you tell him, he still finds it hard to believe that you want to make a life with him; marry him; carry his children.

"This…" His voice trembles and he lowers his gaze, "this is really what you want?"

"Of course, it is, my love." You reassure him for the thousandth time, peppering his jaw with light kisses. "Negotiations with Viola will doubtless be tough, though…" You chuckle, your fingers threading through his hair as he nods. "But let me tell you a secret," you can feel his hot breath on your ear, "you've already won, love." He offers you a breathtaking, mind-blowing smile and then his mouth finds yours and he kisses you and it feels like you're alone in the world, nothing matters but your shared love, nothing exists but him, nothing counts anymore, nothing, nothing, nothing...

"NUNKYYYYY!!!!"

Well… You may have spoken too soon…

🛡⚔️🛡

@flowers-in-your-hayr @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @waiting4inspiration @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @a-mess-of-fandoms @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @ivarthebloodyking @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @pieces-by-me @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood

#ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar lothbrok #modern ivar #modern ivar x reader #modern!ivar #modern!ivar x reader #modern-Ivar #ivar imagine #ivar fanfic #ivar fanfiction #ivar fic #ivar vikings #vikings ivar #vikings imagine #fluffy Ivar #650followers

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starryyyjoon · 3 years ago

Text

I, you | Kim Namjoon One Shot

word count: 8.2k

pairing: idol!namjoon x fem reader

summary: namjoon meets you again and he can't help but want you to look at him the same way he has all these years.

disclaimer: it's sort of written from y/n pov. kind of smut included, not too much but still. other then that, i don't think there's anything. it was written a long time ago so i don't clearly remember, sorry!

Namjoon walked in, followed by a few staff members and they occupied the empty chairs on the conference table and I smiled at him and the others. He looked great like always, he was in a navy blue hoodie and a khaki colored trouser, with his hair pushed backwards exposing his forehead.

There was something and nothing between me and him and it was too tiring to play pretend. "You look good", he remarked and I smiled at him. He's always being too kind, I looked like absolute shit, I hadn't slept in three days and my clothes were whatever was in my reach that I'd put on after showering and I rushed here.

I had met him before this level of success but I was merely an assistant director myself and we'd talked about Monet and his work together, he'd similar interests to mine but both of us didn't really get anywhere because of our timing and I believed it was for the good. He'd always expressed how he liked my vision and wants to work with me on something and I didn't believe my vision because what even was my vision that he could see and not me and after being this big I didn't really thought he'll even remember me until he hit my phone one day and here I was, at the label's office to discuss the details of his mixtape's music video.

"So, do you've something in mind?", I asked him and he pressed his back on the chair letting out a yawn, he seemed tired.

"Not really! I want it simplistic and not too hard to understand. I haven't thought about it or anything so I don't know, I would await what you propose", he softly said.

"I haven't heard the track because of--", he intervened, "--ah you haven't? You should hear it first", he said and I nodded.

"I would need to hear it", I told him, thinking about the lengthy talks with the illustrator already.

The staff then pin pointed about the budget, the do nots and other details and two of my team members who were seated beside me talked thoroughly in detail about the technicalities. Namjoon looked bored with all the talk that didn't interest him. He wasn't much different from before slightly bigger.

All of us stood up coming to an agreement when Namjoon asked me to walk up to his studio to hear the track and I asked my team members to go ahead first. I walked through the dark corridor behind him while he talked to someone on the phone, all the way to his studio. I didn't really hear what he was talking because I was invested in staring around the place like I hadn't seen a building before.

The walls were all dark and a comforting shade since I didn't like the sun anyway. It seemed like a night mode in real life.

His studio was the corner most, he typed the passcode in and stood aside gesturing for me to walk in, followed by him. He hung up the phone call and put his phone aside, switching the AC on. He sat behind the monitor while he switched it on and I went through my inbox.

"So, how have you been?", his deep tone, made me look up and I fidgeted to put my eyes on something other then him while he turned his chair around to face me.

"I have been okay-ish, like the projects I'm doing I'm satisfied with them so I guess it's kinda okay", I said and regretted it immediately, I don't even talk like this and he knows it.

"Not the work c'mon, you, your boyfriend, family, other things?", a lose smile hung on his lips and I looked at him. How can someone look like that?

"No boyfriend because you know no one can put up with this profession. I haven't slept in three days so I'm fucking annoyed and the work is too much that I don't have time for other things", I shrugged and he chuckled. I didn't want to think about guys, I barely had time for myself. Filmmaking was a time bound profession.

"I relate, trust me I do", he turned his chair back around, his eyes on the computer screen and I looked at him. I could see why he could relate, I mean of course he didn't had time either. I knew idol schedules enough to know how these things go. "Why didn't you come that day?", he asked me and my insides twisted.

"I was hoping you don't bring it up", I said in a small voice.

"Why not? I waited for you", he said without looking at me and I threw my head back on the couch thinking of the time when he'd asked me out officially and I didn't make it. "At least I deserve to know what was more important that you didn't make it", he looked at me and I closed my eyes shut.

"I had a flight, I got an exclusive food show travel experience with discovery and it was too good for an opportunity to miss", I let it out and took a breath in. I knew I could never leave work for a guy, any guy, or anyone as a matter of fact and as much as I'd thought about it on the plane...it all seemed for the better. He wasn't the kind of guy I could've had my regular thing with and I was too young to be serious.

"It was a good show", he told me. I could feel his eyes on me and I didn't flinch. I didn't regret it but his words made me feel guilty. My head was on the headrest of the sofa I sat on and my eyes were closed. My subconscious could feel his curious gaze on me.

"Look away Namjoon", I said and I could feel his gaze was still on me.

"Why didn't you call me when you got back?", he asked me and I looked at him.

"I didn't because our cultures differ, everything is poles apart--what's the point of discussing it now?", I asked him, slightly annoyed. He and I separately needed to focus on our careers and he knew it too damn well.

"Okay", he turned around again as his monitor showed a circle indicating that the programme he'd launched was loading. "It does makes me feel better that my better position in life doesn't changes your opinion on me. Quiet comforting", he said, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but I chose to ignore it. The last thing I'd be doing is fueling this feeling in him by discussing this useless thing which wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.

"Is this the reason you wanted me to do this project with you?", I asked him and he swiftly turned his chair around.

"No, I don't take all this for granted. I love the stuff you do. I'm pretty updated thanks to how active you're on your social media", he smiled and I couldn't shook the thought of seeing my psychotic episodes on my Instagram, Twitter...everywhere. I'm pretty weird out there.

"I love it, the stories", he flased his dimple smile before turning his chair around again and I felt his warmth, like he meant what he said.

For a second I was taken aback with how tall he was from me and how good he looked, he'd always looked good but he was more mature now and much more reserved. "I'll be calling you often because I won't send it for pre-production without your say on the concept", I told him.

"I'll look forward to a lot of calls", he said. "I'm sorry this is taking a while", he added quickly and for some reason I couldn't look away from him, whose back was visible to me.

"No, take your time", I said, crossing my arms against my chest. I really wished he was a regular guy just making music but then I didn't. I wouldn't want someone to wish that for me. He'd earned all of it and I knew it.

"Look away ___", he said slowly. I could feel his grin through his words and I looked away shaking my head right and left softly. "It's, yeah it's playing", he turned around as the music filled in the empty atmosphere.

It was a slow song with a really fast rap. It was how Namjoon was, he contradicted himself too much. I instantly knew it was his writing from the way the words went and the wordplay came into role. I couldn't help but analyze the song because I was supposed to shoot and sketch a music video for it and at times like this I didn't really get to enjoy the art for the art and I hated it.

"How was it?", he asked me, his eyes fixated on me as the music faded. I wanted it to last.

"The only problem with it is that it ends", I flashed a smlie at him and he shook his head throwing it back.

"That's too corny even for you", Namjoon rolled his eyes but I was being serious. "You know I appreciate heavy critics", he said.

"I didn't find anything to criticize, the writing is great, the composition fits and it has a catchy vibe to it. I think I would listen a song like that on a drive or something? In your case a bicycle but yeah! It's a good song", I summarized my opinion. "Do you like want a trendy video?", I asked him.

"Anything that you want to do with it", he said and I gently nodded. Since it was given to me, I couldn't stop thinking about what to do with it.

"Can you stop thinking about it while you're with me ___?", he chuckled and I looked at him taken aback for a second and then nodded with a soft smile pasted on my lips.

"Your fashion sense has improved", I remarked.

"You look casual", he teased me.

"I, I've no fashion sense. I just wear whatever is there", I told him.

"I don't think so, your Instagram says different", he said.

"It's for the show Namjoon", I said.

"You're really not the type to do that, please don't deceive me", he beamed before he turned his chair around again to minimize the current tabs on the computer.

"You're the last person I'd be deceiving--", my words were cut from an incoming call from one of the producers of one of the shows I was working on. "I need to take this", I told him and answered the call while he just gave me a gentle nod in response.

The producer had informed me about the issues related to casting and the final draft of the script and I knew I had to go.

"Guess I'll see you later, bye", Namjoon said warmly as he smiled at me. The thing was he just knew and that always stuck somewhere.

"Bye", I left.

________________

"I, for one, disagree. C'mon how do you even call it an end?", I threw my hands in the air as we discussed it for the millionth time. I liked Su-ho but his thoughts on GOT made me want to kill him. He is the only person I knew who was satisfied with how it ended.

"I think it was okay, c'mon, you have to consider that the novels didn't end and as compared to that I think it was pretty good", Su-ho claimed while he sat on the bean bag in front of me, pushing it comfortably.

"Don't even start with the novels--", my words were interrupted with the sound of the doorbell, "--they didn't even do a good job interpreting it and I am offended by that. Look there novels", I pointed at my bookshelf, showing him my GOT collection which he knew as I opened the door and my head bumped against Namjoon's chest as he took a step in.

He chuckled as he held the back of my head with one hand and pressed my forehead with the other and rubbed it gently to ease the pain.

"What's uh, what's that? Is it iron", I mocked, pointing at his chest while he let me go from his grip and took his shoes off.

"It can be", he said. "But why were you jumping around so enthusiastically?", he asked me as he seated on the couch in front of Su-ho, as he greeted him and Su-ho greeted him back.

"Game of Thrones heavy discussions", I sighed. "This is Su-ho who's illustrating the storyboard", I told Namjoon.

Su-ho was starstruck and it seemed like it'd take him a good minute to recover and Namjoon was obviously used to it. I didn't call him at the office because a lot of people would want to see him then and it could be exhausting plus he'd a time limit on his hands.

"You know him, ___?", Su-ho widened his eyes at me and I nodded, suppressing my laughter seeing his chaotic ass behave like this.

"A little", I said and I could feel Namjoon's gaze on me. "Maybe a lot", I rephrased. I could see by the way Su-ho looked at me that he needed answers. "Coffee?", I asked Namjoon.

"Oh yeah", he replied and I stood up. "I've thought of two concepts, Su-ho please brief him on it and if you want anything differently Namjoon, you can tell him", I told him as I marched towards the kitchen.

Should I use the regular coffee mugs or should I use the better ones? I mean it doesn't matter anyway but still, it kind of does? I don't know. It just comes to me, the over thinking.

Ah.

I could hear him and Su-ho talking about the concepts faintly and I was low-key proud because I did work hard on them. I opened the cabinet to take out the better coffee mugs.

This is what happens when you stop drinking milk and stop growing up. I rested my hands on the kitchen pavement thinking about how many shoes with heels I'd because of my height.

I wasn't very short but I wasn't my desired height too. It was sad. I was the right person to sell the tonics concerning height because my insecurity would make me buy it. I exhaled heavily and turned around to find Namjoon behind me.

"Let me", my hips pressed against the marble pavement while his body gently pressed against my front, I could spot the mole on his neck while he calmly took the box of mugs out. "Okay?", he whispered softly and I looked on without responding.

"Thanks", I told him, hoping he'd get away from me because this had me feeling some type of way. I won't admit what type of way. That makes it worse.

"Anytime", he clicked his lips, taking a few steps back as I stirred the coffee and poured it in three cups. Should've used regular ones.

"I like the quotes on that wall", he said as I handed him his cup, taking the other two. A wall of my house was covered in post-it notes and other stuff. Some print outs of Van Gogh and Frida's works alongside other things.

"Yeah that? Thanks", I said, as I gave the cup to Su-ho. "Did you decide on something?", I asked, as I sat down and Namjoon just beside me.

"Yeah, the first one. It was kind of okay, he made some alterations so I would send it to you by...maximum tomorrow", Su-ho told me. "But why did you call him here for just this?", he asked me.

"You seem so concerned about his whereabouts", I glared Su-ho . "I told him I could just email him but he insisted on doing it in person", I looked at Namjoon who took a long sip from his coffee.

"Yeah I did, don't worry I was absolutely free", Namjoon smiled at Su-ho and I could see Su-ho fanboy-ing.

"You're so in line today", I pressed my words.

"Shut up", Su-ho eyed me. I wrapped my hands around the coffee mug feeling its warmth.

After I talked to Namjoon for a while about the shoot and he explained to me about their company procedure and how they usually did things. I didn't like doing music videos or commercials, there's a lot of time you're bound by what the music video demands and you've to stick with that so that was that. I usually preferred either cinema like movies or dramas, I hadn't done much but I had done a few and travel shows were my preference.

"I'll see you next time then", Su-ho politely remarked looking at Namjoon and he smiled and gently bowed his head. I walked with him up-to the door. "I didn't, what the hell, you could've given me a heads up?", Su-ho whispered slowly to me as I leaned against the door.

"I didn't knew you were a fan", I said and he playfully hit me on my arm.

"I still can't believe it, you've to answer my hot questions next time", he said and I nodded.

"Okay okay", I closed the door shut behind me, taking a seat on the far side of the sofa me and Namjoon were seated on. He was scanning my bookshelf and I was looking at him.

"Literally 70% of it is fiction", he said. I read a lot of fiction and he read a lot of nonfiction.

"You should read fiction", I said and he looked at me slightly pissed.

"I do read fiction just not thar much", he pointed at my bookshelf. "If you've to recommend one, shoot", he said.

"Recommend, uh, the secrets of happiness", I said randomly and his face sunk in annoyance. "It's not a book talking about literal secrets of happiness, it has a story", I told him.

"Ah okay...I will try reading that. Let me take your copy", he said.

"No", I said back in a split second.

"I won't lose it, c'mon, ___", he said. I couldn't believe his testimony on not losing it.

"Fine, but it's annotated. You'll owe me big time if you lose it", I said and he nodded vigorously.

"Your place is great", he said looking around the house and I couldn't see why, I mean yeah maybe but not that I find it great if I think from his point of view.

"I'm barely here anyway. I pay rent for no reason", I kept the empty mug in my hand on the glass table in front of us.

"That was your friend though, Su-ho?", Namjoon asked as he kept his cup, followed by me.

"Oh yeah! I met him for work but then it's been a while since I know him, it's been years actually and he's a friend now", I said thinking about Su-ho. I don't know why I bothered explaining. It's been a good five years since Namjoon and I hadn't been in touch and there was a little catching up to do.

"You've always had a lot of friends, don't you", he sighed as he sat cross legged on the sofa facing me. I do have plenty friends honestly.

"Kind of", I shrugged. His gaze on me made me sit back in a more cautious way as I fixed my posture. "Namjoon...", I called out his name when the doorbell rung and I was irritated. "Give me a second", I stood up and walked up-to the main door.

It was my neighbor who's mother had left their house keys with me and he was here to take it back. He thanked me for keeping it and walked up to his own flat which was in front of mine.

I closed the door shut and Namjoon was standing by the balcony seeing a cactus I had grown since I couldn't grow any other plant because I was never home to take care of them in case.

"It's cute", he said as he picked the potted plant and stared at it for a little while and I stood behind him and watched him see it.

"You know your pupils dilate when you see plants", I said and he smiled to himself. He kept the cactus back in its resting place and stared at me. "What?", I asked him.

"You were going to say something", he said, his voice sounded deeper then usual for a second and I licked my bottom lip in haste.

"Oh that, you know the alterations you made? I will directly mail it to the staff and maybe cc you because it won't need a second check anyway. I've to get this done a little early since I've--", he turned towards me and I took a step back but there was barely any space and my back was pressed against the wall, "--what is it?", I asked but it came out as a whisper.

"Here", he dragged his index finger across my bottom lip and there was something on my lip. I didn't really see what was on there because of his presence so close to me. My heartbeat had fastened and I could feel it. Something I didn't want to feel.

"Thanks, I guess", I said slowly and he flashed his dimple smile at me and in that moment he seemed the opposite of the dominant he was a few seconds ago.

"Do you know you look really good?", he said, as his fingers ran across my ear touching the piercings one by one. I regretted having three all of a sudden. "And I didn't intended to do this but ___ I uh", he bent over a little, his lips a few inches away from my ear and his breath was falling on my neck.

"Namjoon", I said, trying to not look at him. I knew damn well I couldn't be able to control myself.

"Hmm", his voice was so small and I could feel goosebumps all over my neck. His gaze on me was strong and I had jitters in my stomach.

"I, uh--let's not okay", I put my hands on his shoulder as he pulled me more closer with a jolt and I gasped.

"Do you really not want to?", he asked me. It was a while since I was in this close proximity of someone like this but my subconscious kept telling me not to. "I don't understand what you find so undesirable about me", he took a few steps back and looked away.

What?

"Do you think I find you undesirable?", I asked him, pressing my lips suppressing my smile. I couldn't get how could he change roles in a span of few seconds.

"Yeah, it's pretty evident really", he sighed, looking at the the far side of the sky at the horizon and I saw him sulking.

"It's not that, are you fucking dumb? It's just you know you shouldn't start things you can't take care of", I said. For some reason I've always felt a little hesitant with him. "But you're desirable enough", I added.

"Sudden validation from you, ah", he clicked his lips in mockery and I felt bad. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was playing hard to get. I didn't feel competent enough in my heart. "Let me kiss you", he said, taking a few steps closer breaking the chain of my thoughts and I hated being so much in control and feeling a little out of place.

I was back to where I was a few seconds ago, me cornered and he put his lips on mine and my body automatically responded. He took over me in a second. My hands rested on his back and clutched the fabric. His hands travelled below my hips as he pulled me upwards and my legs wrapped around his waist. He didn't stop kissing me for one second and I didn't want him to, as he pressed his mouth harder on mine and I bit back a moan. I could feel the heat in my body and every vein seemed to electrify. He walked me up-to my bedroom like he knew which suddenly felt foreign to me as he laid me on the bed, breaking the kiss and I was breathless, panting for air.

I didn't had any resort in me to stop. I didn't want him to stop. I couldn't care more about whatever that had me concerned for a while. He watched me look at him and his lips curved in a smirk. "Should I stop?", he teased me taking a seat on the edge of the bed and I looked away from him to the right side, scoffing.

I pushed myself up, my hands at the hem of the lose white t-shirt I'd on and for a second I hesitated at the fact that he must've seen better flesh than mine but I pulled it upwards exposing myself in front of him as his eyes went everywhere. "Do you want to stop?", I asked him, as I crawled over to him. He didn't object as I sat on his lap and took his face in my hands. I looked in his eyes. He looked beautiful. I traced the outline of his skull, his jaw as I pushed his hair locks that were on his forehead behind. "Do you want to stop Namjoon?", I asked him again as he held me tight, giving me my answer.

He tugged at my neck with his mouth leaving a trail of gentle kisses down and I could feel my nipples startlingly prominent beneath the black lightweight bra I had on. I clutched his hair as he bit my neck suddenly and I gasped.

He pushed me on to him, nearer but there was barely any space for me to come close and I could feel him all over. He messily kissed me before groping my bottom and I-I cut a breath in. He would take turns and be gentler a second and rough the another. "Namjoon", I called out gasping which fueled him even more. He looked at me and smiled proudly at how he had me without doing much.

He flicked the straps of my bra shoving it down exposing my breasts and I could feel my nipples harden to the point it was painful. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me, more. The way my body responded to his touch was almost funny, how quick, how wet.

I patiently unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off of him while he looked at me with a gaze I couldn't quite make anything of, he just looked at me while he let me work on him. My hands touched his chest and my eyes examined his torso, his skin was warm and his gaze on me gave me confidence like he wanted me back as much I wanted him.

I was forgetting my own desperation for his touch as my hand traveled behind his back, trailing down to his spine and he looked at me as he cut a sharp breath in and I felt good seeing him giving in to me. His arms surrounded mine unclasping my bra in a second and he threw it off on the floor.

I half expected him to grab me and grope my breast but he swept me in his arms as his vaguely pink mouth pressed against mine and instead of hastily grabbing me, his mouth simply rested against mine and it was worse, much more intoxicating. I, on instinct coiled my arms against his neck.

As my tongue demanded entrance and he smiled before letting me, and in a second, roles were reversed, the romantic was gone. He took control and pressed his mouth harder on me with his thumb and finger pressing my nipple and my nails dug deeper in his neck. "Joon...", I on instinct called out, as I gasped for breath but he didn't let me.

He was hard against me and I grinded next to him which seemed to please him while he left my mouth, burning with a wanting for more while my sex clenched as he took control of my body putting his arms around my back and they were free to go anywhere. I wouldn't dare stop him.

A second later, he laid me on the bed and hovered over me before taking my shorts off in a whirl and pushed my underwear off me that it didn't seem reusable. I anticipated his actions but he pushed a thumb into my bottom without no warning and I clutched the sheets, a yell escaping my mouth. My fingers curled meanwhile his other arm grabbed my breast cupping it and a second later his forefinger and middle finger slipped inside of me and my grip on the sheets tightened.

"Shh", he hissed in my ear and I hadn't realized a moan had escaped my mouth. My whole body rocked in less then a minute and I couldn't control my voice, I gasped for breath and I moaned even louder then before. "I didn't take you for a screamer ___", Namjoon seemed amused while embarrassment washed over me as I laid exposed in front of him.

"Let me go down on you", I told him and he looked taken aback as I pushed myself up.

"Do you really want to?", he asked and I shifted closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I would love to", I told him. "Do you want me to?", I asked him.

"Yeah, I mean yeah", he said when his phone rang echoing in the room and his face flushed into irritation as he looked at me and I nodded gesturing him to take it. He took it out of his pocket and answered it. With every word he spoke, his irritation grew. He hung up the phone call. "Where's the wardrobe?", he asked me and my eyes pointed behind him.

Namjoon opened my wardrobe and took out a very lose t-shirt of his choice from my stack of comfortable clothes. He held my arms and slipped the t-shirt on me, pulling me close. He stroked my face and he smiled in my face which forced me to smile as well.

"Am I suppose to expect something from you or should I forget this?", I asked him as his fingers tucked the few strands of my hair behind my ear.

"You're supposed to expect everything, don't dare forget it", he whispered in my ear, nibbling on it and I couldn't help but giggle. "I want to talk to you but I've to go now and I hate it", he smiled at me.

"Okay, go", I told him and he chuckled before letting me off him and he wore his shirt back on.

After seeing him off and taking a shower, I laid back on the couch in the living room thinking about everything that had happened. I didn't regret it, I wasn't thinking much about it anyway.

The guys I'd sex with or made out with, I disliked them because of their narcissism. I appreciated my ability to find guys that were a-grade assholes. I've always had this feeling that I am lacking in some sense with other people. I look normal, like I should but I get this insecurity when taking my clothes off.

I didn't knew what Namjoon thought about it and asking him would be weird. No one who knows me like him would think I am this insecure or anxious about this stuff but then a major part of it has to do with my aura, I guess?

________________

I took a bite of the sandwich that I held in my hand as I walked around the second set just nearby to the first one. I stood afar, taking a good look, even though the storyboard fits the sights I still need to frame out a rough sketch work in my head.

I took another bite staring at the beach and the path to it and then back to the set that we'd build up by man power. It was pretty accurate in my eyes but I wanted to hear from my assistant director.

I took the walkie talkie out from the pocket of my denim and pressed the centre button, "Jae-chan, where are you?"

In a second he reverted, "Ah sunbae I am near the gripper".

"Come to the road that leads to the beach", I said, before shoving the walkie talkie down in my pocket.

The sea met the sky at the far point of the horizon and how the world is full of these illusions which are not real we know but we still believe. After all there's beauty in things that you don't get. Vastness maybe?

Sea and sky — the two melancholic blues.

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan broke the chain of my thoughts and I glanced at him before looking at the sea. His breath was heavy, I could tell he ran here.

"You could have walked, Chan-ah", I said, smiling. He was really young and passionate about filmmaking but also a little silly. He's cute.

"Ah it's okay. Did you need something?", he asked politely and I shook my head. I liked the input of many people on the same thing, it showed the number of opinions that could centre around one thing that you make in a different context which is then perceived in another.

"Do you think this is accurate in terms of the story board?", I asked him and he seemed lost in thought.

"I would say slightly better because the storyboard is still animation and this is real so I would say better. I'm pretty sure it'll be good sunbae", he told me and I could feel a smile flush on my lips. "You are nervous, aren't you?", he asked me.

"Yeah", I wrinkled my nose, turning around to walk off. I patted Jae Chan's back and he started walking with me.

"You don't have to be, and oh, he's here", he said assuring me and I knew who he meant by he.

My mind automatically went to the day in my apartment. Namjoon had messaged me after but he got busier with his work and I am not a text-er plus I'd a lot of things to do before I left Korea. It was, I didn't knew anything and I didn't want to think about it. I hoped he'd pretend nothing happened, please. But I knew he won't.

I sighed and as I entered the main set, around the vanity and food truck, the manager and Namjoon's staff members greeted me. After that, I mean impractically I wanted earth to open and swallow me. Living is hard anyway.

I'd a flight on the weekend, I'd to pack and I'd to get new boots but I'm just dumb because I'm trying to think of other things. I need a new nail paint, do I? I looked at my nails which were painted black. Maybe grey?

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan shook me and I looked at him. He gestured me to look up front and Namjoon was right there looking like Namjoon.

"Hi", I awkwardly waved at him.

"Hi", he flashed his dimple smile at me. His dimple smile hits me.

"You can get the makeup and hair done, I've a few things to recheck", I excused myself. This is awkward. This is so awkward. I hate it.

Even though I had that awkwardness lingering around but we were nearing to the end of the shoot which went really good because everyone worked so hard. It was mostly one-takes and the lighting supported the whole setting making it so easier for us to finish.

Moreover, it was a while since I had done a music video so it felt good being back on a set like this. Namjoon looked really good with the styling and although I knew the outfits pre-shoot, he still looked better then I'd imagined him to look which enhanced the whole vibe of the music video. He owned earthly tones.

That's why casting and styling is so important. Very much. Makes a gigantic difference.

"What's wrong with you?", I didn't notice he was standing next to me with a small fan in his hands while we prepped for the last shot.

"What's wrong with me?", I asked him, as I adjusted the frame in the main camera. I didn't want this conversation especially right now, especially here.

"I mean...you knowww?", I could feel his stare while I shifted the camera, something is wrong with this.

"I don't know", I said, without looking at him. I was unintentionally making him mad and nothing else.

"I was really scared that you'd say this and see, I mean, why can't you behave normal when I mention anything about us?", he hissed near me and I looked around. Luckily there was no one in our proximity to hear this conversation.

"I-I, Namjoon", I exclaimed, vaguely pointing at the setting hoping we could do this later and I could explain that I would love us but he needs to understand that I won't even be in Korea as much as he thinks I would be and that's why it won't work out.

"I don't care", he eyed me.

"I do. I care, okay? There's no us to begin with and I know I was stupid enough to ask you what I should expect out of, what would you call it, we made out. That's that", I tried being really slow and I could feel annoyance in his sight.

"Made out! Okay, okay fine. I can't believe I deal with you. You're the one who doesn't text or call or even respond to it and that's bare minimum ___", he pondered and I internally rolled my eyes.

I was leaving on the weekend. I was always leaving. That's it. "I don't have to and I have a life Namjoon. I've been working non stop all this time. I don't expect you to understand", I said, standing up from my seat while I called for the head DOP from the walkie talkie.

"You don't want to be understood ___", Namjoon said, grabbing me from my arm and stopping me. He wasn't wrong. A few eyes snapped and I forced a smile immediately. "I like you, I like you a lot. Deal with it", he walked past me.

Deal with it.

As if.

Very abruptly, the last shot rolled in and it was over. The music video was done in a day. It was originally a two day sketch but we had to narrow it down to one day because of Namjoon's schedule and it was worrisome because it did seem impossible but things went smoothly and it was successfully over.

I told Jae Chan to wrap the filming site, though most of it was done while I was present. I picked my bag from a table to leave, kept right ahead from the vanity. Namjoon had left, I guess. I wasn't sure because after the last shot he was angry. He had his jaw clenched all that time, he barely managed to keep it out on the music video.

He was like this, his anger was pretty evident and that hadn't changed.

I like you. I like you a lot.

I couldn't wrap my head around that thought. Did he like me all this time? It sounded pretty crazy to me. I had never thought about anything with Namjoon. He was a friend I could like but I didn't, I had never expected anything out of my acquaintance with him anyway.

"You ate?", his deep voice made me look at him who stood at the steps of the vanity. He hadn't left yet.

"No", I said. He had changed into his normal clothes, the makeup was gone but he still looked great. His natural complexion was shining as the set lights fell onto his face. It made me surer how Namjoon needed someone who could be there rather then somebody who's never there.

"Come eat something", he said calmly. He looked much composed then before.

"I am not hungry", I stated just when he darted towards me. He held me by my forearm, dragging me into the vanity which was empty except for us. A few dishes were laid out on the table in front of the small couch.

"Eat and leave", he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of the mirrors fidgeting with his phone while I quietly sat on the couch. I just wanted it to be over but I'd no appetite so I kept staring at the couple of Italian dishes which were pasta, carbonara I guess, rissoto and also jjangmyeong. "Just eat anything ___", he said, without bothering to look at me.

"I don't really have an appetite", I said, throwing my head back and looking at the ceiling of the vanity.

"What you've is a habit of skipping meals", he eyed me.

I looked at him. "Do you remember everything? Like literally everything?", I asked him as curiosity brimmed in my eyes.

"You don't?", he asked me back. "Well, for me, yeah I do. I did remember every thing but I should probably forget now. I didn't really asked to work with you because I wanted something but I can't say I didn't hope", he locked his phone and kept it on the space in front him. "I mean, we did had something. We did have something a few days ago. You can't exactly call me a friend and I've never seen you as one. The moment you walked in trying to fix the mess on the set since then till now I can't say I didn't hope you'd look at me the same way", he said, bringing all the memories back alive, but it was true, I never looked at him the way he'd wanted me to, hell, I couldn't believe it one bit. "It's true", he said, as if he just read my mind.

It was, it didn't made sense to me. How could he? Why would he? I uh, I think shit's wrong with me because even now I can't seem to focus on someone who confessed their feelings and that someone being Namjoon from all people.

I remember when I was one of the assistant directors under the director for one of the most low-key and low budget project. They didn't had many resources and our firm wasn't doing well either. We always had to come up with hacks, unknown locations for shooting...it was always so hard. We didn't had any respect in the industry.

It was two companies in one boat at the end of bankruptcy and we were so young and such good friends. I knew the rest of the members too but I kind of had a certain vibe with Namjoon. He could get me without having to speak.

I locked at him, his face was fixated on me and I could like him, in fact I did love him not romantically, I just did. I had a lot of love for him. He was caring for the people around him and I loved talking to him. He never once made anyone feel like he was a celebrity back then and a global celebrity now well yeah. He did deserve someone who could be here for him.

He stood up and walked towards me and my eyes followed him. He took a seat next to me and I could see he picked a bowl up but I didn't see which one because I couldn't stop looking at him. Namjoon took a significant amount and extended it to me and I looked at the noodles for a second and then at him. He just nodded and I ate it.

It was good.

"Thanks", I said, wiping the corners of my mouth with my fingers.

"Do you want me to feed you all the way or can you eat your own?", he asked me.

"I will eat", I told him and he gave me the bowl so I could eat on my own. "You ate?", I asked him and he instantly nodded.

"You're going somewhere, aren't you?", he asked me and I felt as if I've just been struck with something.

"Hmm", I said, my mouth almost filled. "And, I...I want to tell you something like adults and clear it. Namjoon you know my work and I am always not here, never. It's useless. Trust me on this, it's not like that but you know you'll need someone beside you and I can't be the one", I told him, calmly, before gulping water down.

"I know that but I'm okay with it. In fact, we would go hand in hand better because I can't take you out on exotic dates as well. This is what you get", he vaguely gestured at the vanity and I chuckled and he warmly smiled at me.

After a second, I spoke much seriously then before, "It will be hard and you know that. It'll be frustrating. You could hate me".

"If you've tired it with someone before, I am not exactly happy knowing this, but you shouldn't compare me with some random dude with a peculiar taste in leather clothing", he rolled his eyes, shifting his back comfortably.

"Hey! Don't be mean just because you see stuff on my Instagram", I scoffed and he maintained his long face.

"No really, what do you take me for? You think you won't have time for me? I won't have time for you", he went on.

"Namjoon", I dragged his name. His tendency to be sarcastic at odd moments is unmatched.

"Don't call my name like that", he stared at my eyes.

"Like what?", I asked him.

"Like you can love me", he said.

"I...you don't have to be like this", I said, keeping the empty bowl on the table.

"Give me a chance then, try it out. I would wait for you I promise", Namjoon took my hand in his and covered it with his warmth.

"Will I be able to...wait?", I looked away from him, thinking about it so hard.

"___ don't think too much. I promise, we'll be fine", he said, his hands travelling to my waist and before he could grab it. I screeched closer to him. I cupped his face and attached my lips to his, while his hands held on my body.

________________

My relationship with Namjoon was better then I imagined it. I tried my best to be there for him and he was surprisingly almost there for me but it wasn't exactly easy.

It was months and months of hardships and Namjoon was more needy then I thought him to be, he needed a lot of assurance. I don't understand the notion that he holds of everyone wanting me so he needs to be extra careful. I still don't get that his insecure ass doesn't trusts his own members, he won't let me meet them at all.

He was really different. He shifted from dominant to romantic in one second. I loved that. I kind of missed it so much.

He held my hand I could feel it by the way his skin felt against mine, he whirled me around and in a second his hand rested on my waist as he urged me to walk next to him. He was in a perfect disguise and I looked at him. I could tell he was smiling beneath his black mask.

"See, this is why I don't trust other guys! How could you let someone do this to you in the midst of the road in a foreign country?", he asked me.

"No stranger would confidently do this to anyone in a foreign country", I playfully hit him on his leg and he stopped, pretending to be gravely hurt. "I can't believe you", I looked at him as I went with his act. I supported him in standing completely. In a second, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"I missed you", he softly whispered in my ear.

"I missed you too", I whispered back, softly. I pulled him in an empty alley and pulled his mask down. "I need you to do something", I told him, nibbling on his ear and I could feel my skin feel the heat that it yearned for since a couple of months before him going on tour.

"Right now?", he asked surprised.

"Yeah, right now", I said and I could feel him harden against my pelvis.

"You are...so, not right now. Let's go to your hotel room. I'm still famous", he pulled me closer and I chuckled. He turned me around, pulling his mask down, he kissed me hard. His mouth pressed against mine. I held him tightly and he gasped. "I love you", he softly said before pulling his mask up.

"I, you", I held his hand again.

#bts #bts fanfic #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic

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btxtreads · 4 years ago

Text

Stuck on You

CHAPTER TWELVE: NOT A LOVE SONG

↳ Pairing: Choi Soobin x Reader

↳ word count: 1.8k words

↳ rating: G

↳ genre: fluff, soobin is an annoying little shit.... anNOYINGLY CUTE

With sweaty palms and a determined mind, Y/N stomped across the lacrosse field. Her eyes actively seeked for the tall bown-eyed bown with the messy black hair often frolicking around the field with his lacrosse stick.

Her eyes landed on Soobin, whose hands were slung around a younger boy she recognized as someone named Hueningkai. His eyes crinkled as he snorted with laughter at something the younger said, unaware of the approaching girl.

“Hyung, I think someone’s here to see you.” Another younger boy, Taehyun, said to Soobin as she approached.

Soobin’s head perked up, a smile on his face as he swiveled around to greet the girl.

“Hey!” He cheered as the girl slowed to a stop in front of her. “What’s up?”

The girl hesitated as Soobin continues to smile, patiently waiting for her to speak.

“I—I changed my mind.” Y/N mumbled. “About the thing you said a few days ago.”

Taehyun immediately groaned, throwing his hands up in exasperation as Hueningkai muffled his laughter. Soobin only grinned, tilting his head.

“What about it?” Soobin asked, smirking as he fiddled with the net on his lacrosse stick with a hum.

Y/N smiled irritably at the boy’s nonchalant act before sighing as the boy looked over at her once more.

“Let’s date, Soobin.”

Soobin didn’t reply. He only giggled once more, lips upturned as he passed his lacross stick to Hueningkai. He took two bold steps forward before he grasped Y/N’s hips and pulled her flush against him.

“Okay,” Soobin said before closing his eyes, leaning down and crashing his lips roughly against hers.

Y/N’s hands reached up to course through his hair as she responds to his kiss, head tilting to the side as he deepens the kiss even more—grip loosening on her waist and traveling to her hips as they pulled away.

Y/N burned bright red as she lowered her hands from his hair to rest on his shoulders. Equally as red-faced, Soobin shot her a grin as he fiddled with the belt-loops on her pants.

“You’re a nice kisser.” Soobin said softly, making Y/N sputter out.

“Thank you, you too.” she squeaked as she slowly pulled away. “Haha, I gotta get to class.”

Taehyun, who was watching the whole scene with Hueningkai a few feet away, spoke up.

“Y/N, class does not start for 2 hours.” Taehyun raised an eyebrow making Y/N blush redder.

“Uh, I’m teaching.”

“You’re teaching?” Soobin asked, hands still on her hips.

“Look, that’s Yeonjun!” Y/N laughed awkwardly as a mop of pink hair appeared by the bleachers. “Bye!”

Soobin chuckled as Y/N shot off towards the pink-haired male, stumbling over her feet. Taehyun pocketed his hands, raising his eyebrows at Soobin. Hueningkai sighed and shoved the lacrosse stick back over onto the tall boy.

“You really did it, huh?” Taehyun snorted shaking his head as Soobin grinned.

“Isn’t my girlfriend so cute?”

On the lunch period of that very same day, Soobin found himself lounging on a picnic table under the shade of some trees on the school field. Sitting across him is Y/N, pulling out a sheet of paper.

“Okay, so let’s draft up some fake-dating ground rules.” Y/N nodded to herself as she searched her bag for a pen.

Soobin rolled his eyes with a grin, placing a pen on the table as he sipped on a jumbo cup of soda.

“Where’s Yeonjun hyung today?”

“He’s in detention with Hueningkai, they made their experiment explode again.” Y/N replied curtly, before picking up the pen.

“That happened to me once.”

Y/N sighed, shaking her head as she repeated her previous words.

“Ground rules.”

“Why make some?” Soobin wondered. “That takes all the fun out of it.”

“God, I’m dating an idiot.” Y/N mumbled as she wrote CONTRACT on the paper.

“Hey, I’m pretty smart.” Soobin shrugged.

Y/N sighed, ignoring the boy as she thought of the first rule.

“No kissing.”

Soobin’s eyes widened comically, mouth forming into an immediate pout as he whined.

“Why not?”

“Look, Bin.” Y/N sighed, ignoring the way the boy brightened up at the nickname. “I’ve never actually had a relationship before other than Yeonjun—and it was a good relationship, okay? I just wanna keep all my memories of dating good.”

“I’ll treat you right, I swear.” Soobin pouted. “Quick question, did you guys have sex?”

Y/N stopped, raising her eyebrows at the boy.

“Why is this even a question?”

“You’re talking like a virgin.” Soobin shrugged, making the girl scoff.

“I’m not.”

“So, you did have sex?” Soobin tilted his head making Y/N groan.

“Why are you so curious about this?”

“Because we’re best friends and you’re fake girlfriend,” Soobin explained. “Best friends know about this stuff.”

“My best friend is Yeonjun—This is a business deal.” Y/N sighed.

Soobin gasped dramatically, hand on his chest as his face contorted into a deep frown. Y/N groaned internally as the boy turned his head over to the side, eyes casting off into the distance.

“It hurts.”

Y/N set the pen down, propping her head on her palm as she observed the theatrics of the tall boy. Soobin turned back to the girl with a smile, raising his eyebrow.

“What’s up?”

“You know, I always thought that you were the soft, shy boy.” Y/N said, smiling softly.

“What, are you falling in love with me?” Soobin teased, making the girl drop her smile with a sigh.

“Nevermind.” Y/N sighed, shaking her head and picking up the pen to write down the rule. “No kissing.”

“Non-negotiable?”

“Nope.” Y/N shook her head.

“But we’re dating?” Soobin asked. “How can we convince them we’re dating if I don’t kiss you?”

“Kiss my cheek or something,” Y/N shrugged. “Just not the lips. Also you can do something cute, hands in my pockets or something—Very Molly Ringwald.”

Soobin tilted his head.

“That’s so lame.”

“What?” the girl asked. “It’s a romcom classic? Sixteen Candles—John Hughes?” Y/N blinked at Soobin’s look of confusion. “Okay, rule 2. We watch Sixteen Candles.”

Soobin only shrugged, continuing to sip on his soda as Y/N continued onto the next rule.

“Rule 3—don’t tell anyone we aren’t really dating, except for Yeonjun—I already told them, and Taehyun and Kai suggested it, so.”

“First rule of fight club—don’t tell anyone about fight club.” Soobin nodded along, as if reciting a memorized line.

“What?”

Soobin blinked over at Y/N.

“Have you never…” At a shake of Y/N’s head, Soobin winced and grabbed the pen from her hold. “Rule 2 add-on. We have to watch Fight Club.”

Y/N chuuckled at Soobin’s sloppy writing, about to take the contract back when Soobin continued to the next rule.

“Number 4, you have to go to all the parties with me.” Y/N opened her mouth to protest but Soobin only shook his head. “Yeonjun-hyung goes all the time, and I won’t leave you, I promise.”

“Fine.” Y/N acquiesced with a pout. “But bring me to school everyday.”

“Only if you come to the lacrosse outing with me in a few months.” Soobin laughed.

“Isn’t that like the big team building that’s really just a 2-day party at a resort?” Y/N asked.

“Yep.”

“Nope.” Y/N shook her head, but gasped when she saw Soobin already jotting it down on the contract. “Hey!”

“Sorry, babe. Non-negotiable.” Soobin grinned as he returned the paper. “There, I’m good.”

Y/N sighed and took a quick glance at the final contract. With a small nod, she signed at the bottom.

“There, the deal is done.”

“You’’re making this sound illegal.” Soobin grinned in amusement as he signed the paper.

He propped his head on his palm and watched as Y/N filed it safely in her binder. Soobin, then, tugged off a thin bracelet on her wrist—something she always wore just for the heck of it—and sealed it around his wrist, much to her surprise.

“What’s this for?”

“A gift from a girlfriend,” he started, placing a soft kiss to her nose. “to her boyfriend.”

Y/N burned bright red as Soobin pulled away with an amused smile, making her sputter in her seat and touch her nose.

“Why did you do that?”

“Can’t a boyfriend kiss his girlfriend?” He laughed. “You said anywhere but the lips.”

Face still red, Y/N sighed.

“Fine, but don’t lose the bracelet. It’s kind of important.” Y/N said, packing up her bag.

“I won’t trust me.” Soobin said before standing up and slinging an arm around her waist. “Now come on, I’ll bring you to your next class.”

The next day, Soobin and Y/N walked side by side with smiles on their faces as they entered the cafeteria—Soobin’s hands wrapped tightly around her waist. Soobin tugged the girl closer to him, a grin on his face as he placed a kiss on her temple.

Face red, Y/N ignored the jealous glares from girls and curious glances from boys their way. Her face burned redder when she felt Soobin’s hand slide down her waist, to her hips and settle inside the back-pocket of her jeans. With another grin, he lowered his lips to her ear with a smile.

“Am I doing it right, babe?”

Y/N cracked a small smile.

“Is there really a right or wrong in this situation, Bin?”

Soobin chuckles before pulling his hand from her pocket, twirling her around to face him—wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning his forehead on ehrs.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Y/N giggled, cupping his face in her hands. “This is cheesy.”

“I know, right?” Soobin chuckled back, reaching to his jacket pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper and tucking it inside her pocket.

“What was that?”

“Some lyrics I found in the internet. Thought it was pretty cute.”

“A love letter, huh?” Y/N tilted her head. “What’s this for?”

“Don’t know, but it’s cute.” Soobin grinned, placing a kiss on her forehead. “See you, then.”

“See you.” Y/N giggled, waving goodbye as Soobin winked at her, walking backwards until Taehyun and Kai finally arrived to drag him away.

“Well, that was something.” Yeonjun smirked as he appeared, arm leaning on Y/N’s head.

“Fuck off, Choi.” Y/N sighed as Yeonjun pulled her away—willing herself not to think about Soobin’s letter.

Against her will, she pulled it out slightly and peeked at the words.

You’re always on my mind, I think about you all the time.

With a small smile, she shoved it back in her pocket and willed it out of her mind.

Not a love song. Definitely not a love song.

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alilamba · 3 years ago

Text

wip...monday

Ugh, so, before this last week, I think I hadn't written anything in...three or four months. My state started opening up again, things were looking good, all I wanted was to be with my friends, outside with my kids, all day, every day, with all my free time. COVID numbers are on the rise nationally again though, so I find myself pulling back in, keeping my kids at home, and...back at my laptop, honestly.

It feels good to write again. Have a very rough first draft of something I've been working on for...years XD

“Are you sure you don’t want to see if I fit into your suitcase again?”

Veronica hates that she’s resorted to the most banal of bad jokes, but…this is apparently where they’re at. Taking a last minute stroll away from the hustle and bustly of the Kanes’ imminent migration from suburban villa to vacation villa, Duncan does the polite thing of not responding, his mouth tightening as he squeezes her clasped hand.

But she can’t seem to help herself.

“Duncan?” she adds.

He stops walking, which is something. Something more than he’s said for the last few hours, after they got up together, suffered through a cold, awkward breakfast while Duncan’s parents wandered in and out of their kitchen, seemingly always surprised to see Veronica still sitting at their kitchen counter nibbling toast with their son.

She and Duncan have known this day was coming for a while, okay? Veronica shouldn’t be feeling such a lump in her throat. She shouldn’t be working so hard to untangle a jumble of nerves sitting low in her gut.

It’s only six weeks. Maybe eight, if the weather is good and the Mannings can join them, but…

“Well?” she prompts, feeling truly pathetic.

Duncan turns to face her, takes her other hand in his own. Why doesn’t he look…okay, well, she doesn’t know how he looks. He looks as if there is something on his mind, like he’s working through a really difficult math problem, or something. But final exams were last week – he shouldn’t have – well – no – okay, Veronica is just trying so hard not to imagine the worst, she’s really grasping at whatever alternate reality is presenting itself. Maybe it really is math. Maybe he’s about to talk to her about math.

Veronica wets her lips. “Seriously, Duncan, I can get pretty sma—“

“I think we should break up.”

In retrospect (well, later in retrospect. Not now. Now she has no spect at all to retro) she will realize this is not at all a surprise. That a hundred clues presented themselves to her over the course of the last 48-odd hours, and that this is merely a culmination of all of those things.

Now, however, the ground does a really awful job of opening beneath her feet, and she gets the horrifying feeling of missing a stair.

“What?” she manages, and her voice is small and fragile.

Duncan is frowning, staring at something in the vicinity of her navel.

“I said, I think we should break up.”

It’s really no better to hear it a second time. She feels like she drops an extra six inches into the dirt.

“But – why?”

He squeezes her hands, and Veronica remembers to take a big, giant, shaky breath.

An awful, horrendous, horrifying thought occurs to her.

“Wait, is this about la—“

“It’s not about…” he cuts her off, and then glances at her quickly, “that.”

She exhales, feeling the belated sting of tears. Her skin is going hot and cold. Oh god. Oh god this is happening.

“Duncan I don’t understa—“

“It’s just,” he says, and he drops her hands to look away. “It’s just that I’m going to be gone all summer, Veronica, and, well, after that it’s senior year, and then college, and, well, honestly, I just think that it’s a lot to ask of us, okay? Just a lot to ask, when we’re about to go start our lives.”

“But, Duncan,” she hears herself say, and she already knows she will hate herself for this because it feels far too close to groveling, “Duncan, I can make the time, I can probably afford a fli—“

“Look, I’ve thought about it a lot,” he insists, turning back towards her. He’s a bit taller than her (fuck, everyone is), and he’s standing between her and the sun, and she has to squint to make out his features. “And – this is the right decision. I’m sure if you think about it, after I’m gone, you’ll realize the same.”

The burn of unshed tears is really pressing upon her now. Oh god – she’s pathetic, she thinks, except it’s with this panicky, oh my god, oh no, oh no, oh no mantra looping through her insides –

He takes her hands again, but Veronica barely feels his touch in her clammy hands, because she’s submitting all her energy to not losing it (don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry) in front of him.

“Seriously,” he says, and he leans forward, pressing cold, dry lips to her forehead. The tears she doesn’t want to cry spill over on one side, dripping down her cheek. “This is the right decision. Good bye, Veronica.”

Good bye, Veronica.

The reality of the moment comes crashing down, and Veronica’s hands drop to her sides like dead weights as Duncan steps away, steps around her, and begins his walk back to the house. Veronica can’t move. She can’t move, and she needs to, because her car is back at the Kanes’ house, and she needs to move it out of the way so that their cars can get out of their driveway and they can catch their private jet to Tampa. To Tampa, for crying out loud –

Veronica scrubs at her eyes, furiously willing the tears to stop. Her wet mouth drops open as she looks into the sky, hoping the sun will dry out her tear ducts. Not here, she begs herself. Not now.

Oh my god it’s really over.

She hugs herself in the sun, feeling suddenly cold. Clenching her jaw together, she inahles through her teeth, wincing as she listens for Duncan, turning halfway to ensure he’s gone. Her face crumples again as she follows his path back to her car. No, she reasons, desperately, foolishly, this can’t be it. This can’t really be it. Duncan will change his mind when he’s on the plane. He’s going to call her tonight, because this is just the separation anxiety talking. They’re Duncan and Veronica. They’ve been dating for most of the last year…more or less…well, sort of off and on, really, but definitely they were more on than off, and this was just going to be another one of those off periods, right? Right?

Veronica comes to a stop right outside the Kanes’ driveway gates. Oh god. Her keys. Her bag – they’re inside. Except…

This is surely a new low.

One of the Kanes’ housekeepers is making her way down the driveway, looking polite while she carries Veronica’s shoulder bag. Veronica can manage all of two steps to meet her.

“I’m so sorry,” the housekeeper whispers, offering a tight smile before hurrying back inside.

Veronica is going to cry again. Seriously, she can feel it, and it’s only with a surge of icy hot rage that she grasps her bag to her body and lurches for her piece of shit car.

It’s already unlocked because hello who would steal this car here, and she is sure she leaves a skid mark on the pavement she reverses so quickly.

Tears blur her vision before she’s down the massive hill his house is on.

She knows what this is about, actually.

Oh god. She’s known since she was sitting next to him eating toast, while he pushed scrambled eggs around with his fork.

It was her stupid idea.

Her stupid idea.

He hadn’t even wanted to – oh god he hadn’t even wanted to – memories are spilling through her mind, one after another, and she wants to scream.

Lighting a bunch of stupid candles in his room while he finished packing in his walk-in closet.

Draping herself over his duvet, rearranging her limbs, double checking her cleavage in the stupid bra she’d spent so much money on. It didn’t fit her well at all, but it was 50% off when she bought it, and, well, it was lingerie wasn’t it??

Seeing the look of shock on his face when he walked back into his room.

The awkward conversation that followed (are you sure? We don’t have to – no we really don’t have to) she’d had to convince him, and then it had been…it had been…

Veronica really had nothing to compare it to besides, well, movies and porn.

And she knew sex wasn’t supposed to have so much accidental hair pulling.

That things weren’t supposed to be so…dry.

And painful.

And…

Tears sweep over her face, fresh hot peals of it as she opens her mouth at a stoplight and sobs.

#veronica mars #alilamba writes #vm fanfic #fanfiction #veronica mars fanfiction #LoVe

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organic-guacamole · 3 years ago

Text

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #gina porter #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #howie my pizza king #lily hsmtmts

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buckys-black-dress · 4 years ago

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a fine line, part three

a/n: okay. here we go. part three bitches. tbh i write these author’s notes before i start writing, which is why i also have one at the end of the chapter-- so idrk how many more parts this baby’s gonna have. also, tumblr fucked up and ate my first draft, so fuck you tumblr. but here we go! enjoy, again, thank you for reading/sharing/commenting/reblogging whatever etc etc. i love you all! <3 -ali

wc: 2.5k

You truly think that you’re going to throw up.

You haven’t moved out of your apartment since you came back from James’ apartment.

Your phone has been non-stop vibrating since you got off your phone call with Natasha, and she’s the only one you’ve kept updated on the situation. You told her she could... vaguely explain to Wanda and Carol what happened, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave your apartment.

You were a mess, to say the least.

Natasha had tried to come by to see if you were alright, but you couldn’t let her in. You were embarrassed. James kissed you, and he made you look like a fool. He thought he could make things better by kissing you, but every time you remembered what his lips felt like on yours, all you could feel was humiliation.

Did he think you were that easy? That if he kissed you and slept with you, that it would erase your past with him?

You didn’t know what to think, and it was eating you alive.

You usually knew. You knew how to think rationally, to think things through, and to make the right decision.

But now, you felt like you knew nothing.

And now, you have to show up to class next week and teach alongside the man who made you look like a joke.

On the other hand, James was quite literally losing his shit.

He felt like an idiot.

After he kissed you, he realized two things.

One, he was idiot.

And two, he liked you. A lot.

Well, it was more or less Steve that led him to both conclusions, but hey, he got there.

When he called Steve after you quite literally fled his apartment, he realized just how fucking stupid what he did was.

“Buck, you gotta see this from her perspective. For a year, you ridiculed her every chance you got, and all of a sudden you spring all this shit on her that you didn’t mean it, etcetera etcetera. And then you kiss her. She’s quiet, shy. I don’t talk to her about personal things much, but Nat knows. She trusts her, and she tells her about everything she’s been through. A week ago, she thought you hated her. You just humiliated her and made it look like she was easy, someone you could kiss and fuck and move past your history with her.” Steve spoke through the phone to his friend.

After listening to everything that Bucky said, Steve couldn’t understand just how stupid his friend was.

“I- I never meant for it to be like that. I do like her, a lot. And I feel like such an idiot for what I did before. She- After watching her sit in my house, after seeing her with Alpine, I just... I realized just how fucking wrong I was... And now she’s never gonna talk to me again.” Bucky realizes, and it hits him like a ton of bricks.

“Okay, you’re being dramatic, Buck. You guys still have to teach together next week. You just need to find a way to straighten things out with her by then, or else someone’s gonna report back to Fury that you two aren’t doing what you’re supposed to. And we all know that you don’t wanna be in trouble with him.” Steve continues to explain.

‘You’re right... But how do I even reach out to her? She’s not gonna answer a text or phone call, but I don’t think she would appreciate me just showing up where she lives... And I don’t even know where she lives.” He tells him, trying to think of any way to reach you.

“Well... I don’t how much I can help you from here. Just... be careful, Buck. Don’t end up doing more harm than good. Okay?” Steve carefully warns him.

“Yeah, I know, Steve.” Bucky tells him. “I gotta go, I’ll talk later man.” He concludes, promptly ending the call.

It’s Saturday, and Bucky’s panicking.

Why, you may ask?

Well, other than the fact that he made a dumpster fire out of his relationship with you, he singlehandedly made all of your friends who were staff at Avengers University hate him.

He’s spent the morning calling Natasha, who promptly picked up and hung up right after. Then Wanda, who didn’t even bother answering. Finally, Carol. Carol didn’t really give away much, but she did want to help.

Carol didn’t tell him which apartment you lived in.

But she did tell him what building you lived in.

“And why should I help you, Barnes?” Carol asked, well on her way to her meeting.

Bucky was running to catch up with her, clearly walking faster to avoid him.

“I- Listen, just, give me something. Natasha and Wanda ‘ve been avoiding me, and I know they’re not gonna help. I-I’m desperate.” Bucky practically begs, and Carol can’t say she’s not shocked.

“Well... how far are you willing to go?” She stops her walking and asks.

“I-I’ll do anything. Please, Danvers. I’ll buy you coffee for a week. Y-You can have my parking spot! Anything!” Bucky was ready to get on his knees if he needed to.

And that’s exactly what Carol wanted to see.

��Hmm... I don’t know... How do I know you’re actually sorry for what you’ve done?” She questions, nose in the air.

“Carol, I know I fucked up, alright? Steve and Sam can barely even look at me, Natasha and Wanda are ready to rip my head off on sight, and plus...” he paused, trying to lift the weight off his chest, “...plus, Y/N means a lot to me. And I know I acted like a goddamn idiot before, but it’s different now. I... I like her, a lot, and I never meant to hurt her. I... I need her to understand that.” Bucky was out of breath from his rant, and Carol squinted her eyes at him.

“I’m giving you one thing. You have to figure it out from there. Or else Y/N, Nat and Wanda would kill me.” The blonde says after a moment of silence. “She lives in the Livingston Towers. That’s all you get. I’m late to my meeting, bye.” She says, flipping her hair while strutting away.

Now, it’s Saturday morning and Bucky’s at the lobby of your building. Although it’s definitely not half as lavish as his own, it was still lovely. Warm, cozy. The man sitting at the desk watches him as he approaches his small desk, and Bucky looks pale as a ghost.

“H-Hi, I’m looking for someone who lives here?” He asks more than he says, making the man even more weary of him.

“Does this person know you’re coming to see them?” The young man asks dismissively.

“No, but uh, I was hoping I could see them anyways? I just need to know what apartment they’re in if you don’t mind-” Bucky speaks but is cut off short by the young man with the name tag that reads “Adam.”

“Listen, man, you’re not the first shmuck to show up here, begging me to let them up to see their ex that they ‘need to make it up to.’ If she’s not answering her phone when you call, maybe that’s a sign you need to let that shit go, dude.” Adam tells him, looking at his phone screen.

“Hey, kid, listen. She’s not my girlfriend, but I do need to make it up to her. I fucked up, but we’re colleagues, and we have a project that we’re supposed to work on starting tomorrow, but I don’t think she’s gonna show. I-I just... I need to see her. Please.” Bucky’s about to get on the ground, but instead another idea pops into his head.

Just as Adam’s about to dismiss him again, Bucky pulls out his wallet.

He pulls out a crisp $20 bill, slipping is across the counter.

“Please?” Bucky’s voice is hanging on by a thread.

“Fine, man, this girl better be worth it, I could lose my job-”

“Yeah, yeah, get on with it. Her name’s Y/N Y/L/N.” Bucky says, waiting for the boy to type in the name.

“She’s in 10C. Good luck, bro.” He says, sitting back lazily in his spinning chair.

“Thanks,” Bucky can barely say before he clicks the button to call the elevator, hopping in and pressing on the 10 button.

He finds your place with quick ease, but he stands there for a few seconds, pondering. If he knocks, will you even answer? If you know that it’s him, will you open the door? What if you’re out, what if you went to grab coffee or something for Lucy? What if-

And before he could think even further, the door swings wide open, shocking Bucky.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Your voice was hoarse, like you hadn’t used it in days.

You looked... horrible, to say the least. But James was glad he was even looking at you right now.

“I-I we need to talk. Please.” He says, hoping you’ll hear him out.” Just give me five minutes. I’ll leave after that.” He pleads.

Wordlessly, you walk away from the door, leaving him just standing in your doorframe. He assumes this means you’re agreeing to the five minutes.

“Well?” You say, sitting back down on your couch, waiting for James to plead his case.

“L-Listen. I... I can’t even begin to explain to you how fucking sorry I am. I’m a complete idiot for thinking that kissing you was going to fix everything between us, for making you feel like I was trying to embarrass you by kissing you. I just- in the moment I thought it could’ve been the right thing to do, but after it happened I realized just how dumb I was to think that. And you have every right to be upset with me. Also... we still have to do our lessons together starting tomorrow, and I just wanted to know that we could still work together.”

You sat in silence, petting Lucy who was curled up into your side. You held a mug of coffee in your hand, watching James intently.

“Also, how did you know I was here?” He asks, brows furrowed.

You snort at the question, shifting in place.

“Adam called me to warn me that a very persistent man was coming up, and that if I needed to escape to go out the fire escape or the storage closet and hide.” You say, giving no indication as to how you were feeling.

“He may be easily swayed, but he’s not a complete idiot. But you... you are a complete idiot.” You tell him.

Bucky’s chest tightens in an uncomfortable way, in a way that makes him want to throw up his breakfast.

“Did you just come here to see if I was still going to work with you?” You ask, waiting to see what he’ll say.

“Well, that wasn’t the whole reason. I needed to know that you were alright. I hurt you, and I understand that. I also don’t expect you to forgive me, but I need you to know that I know I fucked up. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it right away. And I’m even more sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough this past year. I guess...

I guess it was just my way, albeit childish, of coping with my feelings for you. When I first met you, I thought you were so beautiful, and I wanted to get to know you. But you were so quiet, and I just thought that was you rejecting me... So, I’m sorry. For everything Y/N.” James concludes. He stands up, moving towards your front door.

“James, wait.” Your meek voice rumbled out as you stood up.

“You... you did embarrass me. Borderline humiliated. You shouldn’t have acted that way with me, I’m worth more than that kind of behavior. That being said, I appreciate you coming here to try and work things through. I... I was so hurt. You hurt me so bad, James.” He opens his mouth to apologize yet again, but you shake your head, continuing.

“I liked you too. When I first met you, I thought you were so attractive. Intelligent, handsome, friendly. But then you started acting so... so different around me. I- I didn’t know what I’d done to make you so angry with me, enough to tear me down every chance you got. I was new, lost, fresh meat. But when you started saying those things, I was reconsidering my contract with AU. I appreciate the apology, but I’m going to need some time to process... whatever this is. Of course I’ll still do the lessons, but that doesn’t mean we’re buddy-buddy now, okay?” You finish.

He’s looking at you. It’s like there’s something more you want to say.

“I just... I- how do I know you’re for real? With all this, I mean. How do I know you’re really sorry?” You ask, finally letting it out, your voice crackling.

“Y/N... How about this; this week, while we teach together, let me make it up to you. Let me show you just how sorry I am, that I’ve really changed. Please, let me make it up to you.” Now, he’s literally on his knees in front of you.

Lo and behold, James Barnes. In front of you, on his knees. On the floor of your apartment.

“James, get up, please.” He promptly stands back up. “You have one week. One week to show me you’ve really changed, that you really mean what you’ve just told me. That’s all you get.” You tell him, staring at him.

“Okay. One week. I’m not gonna let you down, Y/N. I promise. You’re gonna see how sorry I am, I swear.” James says, slowly making his way out.

“Okay. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Barnes.” You say, holding the door, ready to shut it.

“Here I was, thinking we were on a first name basis.” He jokes, already outside.

“Watch it, Barnes.” You put extra emphasis on his last name, shutting the door as he steps into the elevator.

As you turn back into your house, you look at Lucy, who’s watching you with big eyes.

“What the hell is he gonna do, Luce?” You ask, plopping back down onto your couch and mindlessly turning on the TV again.

You couldn’t even pay attention to it, just thinking of what this week will bring.

a/n: ooookaayyyy hey yall! end of chapter check!! sorry this one was short, this week has been literally kicking my ass. i had 6 labs due for my anatomy class today. anywayssss.... what do we think bucky’s gonna conjure up for this week? lmk in the comments what you think !!! kk, love you, bye!

#bucky barnes fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #Bucky Barnes #college professor au #professor!bucky #prof!bucky x prof!reader #prof!bucky #a fine line

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optimistic-dinosaur-nacho · 4 years ago

Text

Ransom Drysdale x Reader (Dad!AU)

Summary: Ransom Drysdale, a man who didn’t make wise decisions in his teens. Wasting three years of his life in jail, he takes his freedom for another two. Little did he know, a woman he long ago had a thing for, ends up leaving him with a 16-year-old for the holidays. Hazel Rose Drysdale. His daughter.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

This takes place after Knives Out. Family will be mentioned, there will be minor spoilers for Knives Out.

Warnings: Bad parenting, swearing, Ransom being an asshole, minor spoilers for Knives Out, angst, mentions of murder/jail, minor mental abuse, mentions of abortion/pregnancy, Mentions of suicide

I do not consent to have my work hosted on any second party app or site. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission.

There’s a Hamilton reference in here and I couldn’t help but throw it in there.

You always thought San Francisco was a horrible place to be on your own for. Having a job there, you’d be an hour late if you lived outside the city. This year had been tough on you. You felt like your rent was going up or that your job was getting lower paychecks. Your head was spinning every day that you could barely answer anyone’s questions. The lack of sleep you get every night, especially having to wake up every day at six.

You fix yourself a coffee but then end up at a nearby Starbucks to grab one. They always had better coffee for your energy gain. You weren’t really a money maker, you drove a very old red Honda. You have bills coming in through the mail slot that it has you wanting to burn them to ashes. You couldn’t handle enough stress, especially having a 16-year-old daughter.

At that age that’s when you had your only precious little girl, Hazel. You always made sure she never met any boy that could have her end up like you long ago. Being a teen mom wasn’t easy. Even lying to your daughter was something you couldn’t bear to keep from. It was only to protect her.

Hazel never spoke once about who her father was. As a child, she had dolls and those dolls were a family. One mother, one daughter and a father. Hazel made them the happiest dolls in her mind. She never asked anything related to her family’s relations or where they lived.

She was home schooled since, you were too afraid to have her at school and be bullied by boys or girls. It was something you dealt with and you didn’t want that to happen to her. You didn’t have the money for her too. Gas money, bills, dinner and rent were your only priorities. To have a roof over Hazel’s head, to drive her to the library or stores to get new outfits, feed her every morning, afternoon and night. Like you said, it wasn’t easy.

Your parents live up in Oregon for a while now and you would sometimes visit them over the holidays. Their reactions to your pregnancy, it didn’t end well. The few weeks of being pregnant, they were disappointed. The father’s side of the family had been one of the most entitled families in town. You grew up in Massachusetts and when you got pregnant, your parents moved to Oregon after you had Hazel.

And Hazel’s father abandoned you. Being 17 and 16, you were the one scared while he watched you in disgust and asked to abort your child. That decision was one of the hardest decisions of your life. Either live with the pain of delivering your baby girl or painfully lay on your bed thinking you could’ve had a good life with your daughter.

And you did have a good life whether you struggled to keep her happy. You hope no boy or man could ruin her reputation and lose hope in the world to make someone happy. “Miss L/N.” The dark velvet voice made you lose your trance and your eyes darted over to your boss. Or someone who is your guide for three years.

Mr. Charles Leyman. His blonde hair was combed to the side, his piercing blue eyes could have any office women get lost in. His suits were always made fine by a professional and his watches always came in different colors. Surely, they were over a thousand dollars. Charles had been your guide since you joined the large business in San Francisco. He was very kind, charming and he always knew personal space.

He always had a circle around him and it’d smell like his expensive cologne. Out of the cologne you’ve known, this one smelled like Guilty Intense. The Italian lemon, patchouli, amber, mandarin, and orange flower topping aroma was always attracting women. You wondered if he was a mama’s boy just on how much of a gentleman he was.

You saw his side grin creep up to his face, “You must be preoccupied in your own mind palace,” He mentioned towards you. Your hand reaches up to the small strand of hair and you pull it back. “Sorry.” Charles folds his hands in each other and leans on his desk. The man was in his thirties, a couple more years older than you.

“You know, you don’t always have to apologize for everything you do that is no harm. I just didn’t want you to be stuck in your head, Miss L/N.” Your head lifts up to him. He softly grins, “I wanted to discuss your recent report on the Berkeley College. Something about the Science and Technology Event on October 28th.”

You gently tilted your head, “What about it?” Charles lifted the print of the page and scanned through as if he wasn’t sure himself what the problem was. He clicks his tongue, “You kind of repeated yourself in a couple paragraphs. Even spelling errors. Have you been using-”

You nod, eyes closing slowly out of embarrassment, “Yes, I was. But I think our internet was shut off due to th-”

“That forum doesn’t need the internet to correct your mistakes. It corrects off Wi-Fi.” You sighed softly, turning your gaze away from him and he lowers the paper down to look at you, solemnly. “Look, Miss L/N. I’m not here to criticize you, I’m here to help you. And I know you have a 16-year-old at home and the father’s passing, you-”

“I will say this once and I hope you take it as it is. I’m fine.” Charles leans back a little to your response. Watching you closely to see your hands fidget in your lap. He almost felt like a brother to you, but there were moments where he offered you to dinner and almost walked you over to your car. It was embarrassing to see him and his silver Audi. You were sure he had a Tesla. The invites to his home were always nice. Charles knew your daughter well.

They got along well and never heard a single bad thing from Hazel, saying she had a good time with Charles. Hazel always told you how much fun she had with anything, she walks over to the public library, tells you about a book she read. You know she went to the library when she texted you earlier this morning.

That day, you relaxed at your desk and looked over the recent drafts of your future reports to go on the papers. You feel your phone ring and your hand picks it up from the desk.

Incoming call from Hazel-Bear

You picked up the phone and held it up to your ear, “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, mom. Can you pick me up?” You look over to the wall with the clock, showing the time. You were only a few ways away. “Can you wait for 10 minutes?” You hear Hazel hum in a yes, “Yeah. I’m just sitting in the library.” You began to close your computer and logged off. “Okay, honey. I’ll text you when I get there.” You started to put your papers in your bag and slipped in your laptop. “Okay. Bye, mom! Love you.”

“Love you, too. I’ll see you.”

Hazel was always the type to listen. As a child, she wasn’t spoiled as much because of what you had as a teenager. You were glad she didn’t end up like her father. She was sweet. Her smiles always made everyone welcomed in her space. Gatherings and meetings, your co-workers and friends always chatted about your daughter. Hazel would always keep a conversation lit up and she’d make every interesting comment. Being a book-worm, she would go on and on like a Stephen King book or become William Shakespeare and her words were strong.

You’d do anything for her, no matter what. Picking her up at the library was always a doing for you. The distance wasn’t long but you enjoyed picking her up there.

You pull up to the front of the library and see your daughter come up to the side of the door and jump in. “Thank you, mom,” She says, you greet her with a smile and watch her hold a book in her hand. “You’re welcome, honey. Did you return Hesse?”

Hazel nods and looks over to you, “Yeah. And I found this interesting book called Vulcan’s Den. Everyone’s been reading the author’s books since he died 5 years ago.” You glance over to her, seeing her eyes read the story in her hands. She looked like she was through 10 chapters already. “Hm. Who’s the author?”

“Harlan Thrombey.”

Your face froze into a fit of shock. Your fists twist around the wheel and Hazel spoke the whole time but then realized you had been temporarily deaf. “...he committed suicide.”

You look up to see the red light and you step on the break causing the car to jerk forward a bit. Your eyes lower to your hands on the wheel, “What, sweetheart?” Hazel turns and gently closes her book. “I said, he was found dead in his home. Committed suicide.” Hazel turns back to her book with a grin. “He was a really good author. I’ve been thinking about writing stories, too! He always knew how to make crime and mysteries such a good genre.”

Your eyes stare in front like you just ran over someone but all you could do is nod and say, “That’s... tragic, sweetheart. I’m sure he would’ve loved to hear your stories.” And your way back home was silent for the next 10 minutes. The only name coming to flood your mind like a banshee. Screaming internally, your heart felt like pin needles were jabbing into it and your breathing somewhat became more quite. As if you died in your seat but your mind kept going on.

Harlan Thrombey.

A man who writes like he’s running out of time.

That night, you had just made dinner and sat in the small living room watching television as usual. Glancing over to the kitchen sharing with the dining room, you see Hazel at the table, eating and reading the book she got today. You couldn’t help but grin at her read the book with such concentration.

You turn your gaze over to the TV but you didn’t pay mind to it. The sounds of your neighbors playing music or their dogs barking above you. Hazel closes her book and sighs softly. “Oh mom?” She asks, you turn to her, raising your brows up. “Hm?”

Her hand rests on the table as she turns her body towards you, “There’s this musical coming into Oakland in December and I was thinking we can get tickets? I don’t know if you’re familiar with Hamilton.” You tried not to give Hazel the look of ‘I’m sorry’, you just stared at her blankly, trying to sound less of a bad mother. Sure the tickets were a bit over 50 dollars. You couldn’t even nod as you sighed, “We’ll see, sweetheart.”

Hazel turns away and picks up her book to head over to her room and you tried not to think about Harlan.

Yes, he was familiar to you. A famous author who published hundreds of books based on mysteries and murder. You weren’t there when Harlan was killed. But you knew someone at work who actually wrote the report about him. Police finding out about not only his suicide but his oldest grandchild was in jail for murder and arson.

You didn’t know much but you’ve read the report so many times. Harlan was a good author and you were happy to see your daughter read a book from someone who was related to her. Hazel never knew much about her father’s side of the family. You tried your best to keep her silent about it and she never asked once.

You remembered you had things that could make her brighten up. You stood up from your spot and made your way into your bedroom. You walked over to your closet and turned on the light to look up. Seeing a dark box written ‘Books’ on the side, you reach up and slid it off the edge and into your arms. You placed it on your bed and reached in for the book collection with Harlan’s name printed on every book.

You opened one and saw a small message written in cursive with his name at the end. Harlan always gave you the first copy and made sure you gotten them. His books made it into films and he gave you the movies and that’s where these old films laid in. Hazel will like to watch these over and over. “Ro, baby,” You call out.

You hear her call back and made her search around the apartment and met you in the bedroom. You turned and sat on the edge of your bed. “You love books, right?” You asked. Hazel nods questionably, “Yeah?” You placed your hand on the edge of the box, “These are special and old. It might not sound real to you but these are all first copies.” Hazel makes her way over and slightly gasps.

“They’re... Harlan books?” She pulls them out and opens the first book, “And he signed them!” Hazel looks up to you with a smile. Shockingly, it made you smile, “I want you to take care of these really good for me, okay? You can take them to your room and read them.” Hazel slams herself into your chest and hugs you tightly.

“Thank you, mom.”

You wrap your arms around her and held her there, placing a kiss on her head. “I love you, too, sweetheart.” Hazel wasted no time into bringing the books into her room. Her eyes scanned every letter written in the books by the author, himself. He kept calling you, sweetheart. Hazel wondered if you knew him really well. You collected every book from him and they were all first copies. The films were never used and they were amazing. Hazel began to pull each of them out on her bed and reached for the last book that was wider than the others.

Hazel lifts it up and sees the cute designs.

Memories.

Hazel turns around to sit on her bed as her fingers graze over the small stickers that were worn out. She read your name on the front of the cover and flipped the page over. Photos of her grandparents, your mom and dad taking you out to the lake. A couple pictures of you reading books. Your 15th birthday photo was very old and you looked just like her. Hazel flipped the next pages and the photos gotten bigger. And the months grew further on.

Pictures of you in a dress. Your junior year in a blue silk dress, your hair was perfectly done with a bit of makeup. Hazel had not seen you so beautiful with makeup on. With a small grin, she flips the page and there’s a photo of you again at what looked like your prom dance. Her grin slowly freezes when she sees someone stand next to you with a small grin.

His hair was slick back, his tuxedo was a matching blue and his bow tie was black. His jaw was sharp enough to cut paper. Hazel knew you had her at the age of 16, the date takes back a few months before your birthday. Hazel had to think he was someone you were with. A picture of carved initials with a heart around them.

The ‘R’ was carved along with your initial and in between your initials was a plus sign. Hazel grew more into the photos and kept going over the pages. The next photos never had the boy in the photos any more. But you had your hands on your stomach with a grin. You had to be about one month pregnant. But the boy you had in the other photos never appeared in these.

Then you happened to be in Oregon. You said you were born in Oregon and lived there since you were born. Where were you before? Hazel flipped a couple more and her photos came into view. Her baby pictures were old and very nicely situated. Hazel grins softly at the photos and opened the last page to have things slip out.

Hazel catches the piece of paper and small patch from a high school logo. She looks over the patch that must’ve came from a private school. She flipped it over and read it.

Hugh D. MA, Boston

Hazel furrowed her brows at the name. Hugh must’ve been a different boy you dated. She reaches for the paper that was partially ripped in half and placed the two together like a puzzle.

Ransom (xxx) xxx - xxxx

She read the letter and saw the added heart to his name. Ransom. Who was Ransom and Hugh?

“Honey! Did you want to finish your show?” You called out to Hazel. The teenager puts the things back in the book and puts it back in the box. “Uh... Yeah! I’m coming!” And she covered it up with the others and made her way out of her room into the living room. Hazel couldn’t help but think about who her dad was.

The next morning, you made breakfast and Hazel began to eat what you’ve made. Bacon, eggs and some toast. You poured her some juice and began to clean up your mess on the counter and placed a couple dishes into the dish washer. The sounds of Hazel’s utensils scrapping against the plate, she glanced up at you and saw your calm content face doing normal chores.

“Who’s my dad?”

You drop a plate from your hands and it falls into the sink once again and shatters in pieces causing Hazel to painfully watch and you turn to her. It was bound to happen, but you didn’t expect it this soon. You did you? “What?”

Hazel nibbles on her bottom lip and gently puts her fork down and pulls her hand to her lap. “I... I want to know who dad was.” You cross your arms and reached to grab your grin and rub the sides. Hazel lowers her gaze, “I saw two names in this photo book. Hugh and Ransom. I want to know who they were. And did my father actually die in an accident?”

It was like your worst fear and the countless nightmares were coming to life. Hazel sat there for answers now. You needed to give her small details in order for her to freak out less. You never wanted to upset Hazel. Just like you didn’t want to upset her father when you first told him the news.

“But I knew Harlan very well. I met him as a kid and he gave almost every first copy of his books. I knew him because I met his oldest grandson at the age of 15. His name was Hugh.”

“So is Ransom my biological father? And Hugh was just-” Hazel noticed the shook of your head, your lips pierced together as if you tried not to spill everything towards her. The fear to see her get scared of the truth. “Those names are from one person, sweetheart. He was complicated between his first and middle name. Hugh Ransom Drysdale. He was just a year older than me.” Hazel turns her head and whispers.

“Hazel Rose Drysdale.”

You hum in response, furrowing your brows. “Is he alive?” She asked, you instantly stand up, pushing yourself off the counter, “Honey, please. Finish eating.”

“I want to know, mom. Don’t I get to say anything about him-?”

“Hazel, please. Eat your food, I’m not in the mood now to discuss your family relations-”

“You’ve lied and I need to know what else you’ve been keeping away from me.” You turn away from her and finished off the last Tupperware and sighed. It was gonna take a while for her to lose the thoughts to go away and have her continue on something else. “Mom-”

“Hazel, please! I can’t discuss this now!” You snapped. Hazel’s fingers curl into her palm and she fidgeted her thumb under them. Her feet kick herself back and she stood up. “Thank you for dinner,” she muttered, leaving her plate on the table while making her way into her room. You sighed out of regret and turned to the window.

You couldn’t tell if Hazel was crying or playing music to calm herself. You never outburst on her like that. Never in your days you’d shout at her. The mention of her father had to come out sooner or later. The truth never made its way over to you. Hazel wasn’t ready to find out. You weren’t ready to give it to her. Maybe never.

You just cleaned up her plate and put the leftovers in the fridge in case she wanted more since she barely ate thinking too much about her father.

You got a shower going and left the house, leaving a note on Hazel’s door. Your drive to work was a bit long but you managed to get there in time. Taking the elevator to the office floor, you set up your stuff on your desk and began to go through your recent reports.

Checking every wording and errors you can spot.

A soft knock hits your wall and a woman peaks over. Your office neighbor. “Morning, babes. How you doing?”

You let out a soft sigh, “Morning, Ciara.” Your fingers worked against the keyboard, writing away till someone takes your chair and spun you around. The red-head lightly glares in your eyes. You turn your head, “What?” You asked, Ciara squints her eyes. “What happened?” She replies with the same questionable tone. All you did was shake your head and Ciara pouts at you. She was never going to let you get away that easily.

“She knows about her dad?”

You nod towards her, raising your mug up to your lips to regain your energy. Ciara pinches her chin to be in a thinking stance and her brows bounce up, “Well, shit.” You look over to her and she lightly laughs. “What am I going to do?” You ask.

Ciara thinks, “Well... I don’t think you can keep her away forever.”

“What do you mean?” You ask once more, Ciara tilts her head at you and that made your heart drop. “No. No! I cannot do that-” Ciara drops her arms from the crossing and sighs. “Y/N, you really messed up the pooch here. If my mom lied about my dad being dead, I would’ve wanted to meet him.”

“You don’t know what he’s like,” You said, “He’s arrogant. A complete asshole-”

“Okay! Okay... but your daughter would have to at least get to know him. Give her a few days. Weeks. Who knows? Maybe he’ll come around. Hazel needs a father figure in her life and every kid would want to have their parents together.” You shook your head softly and raised your glass back up to your lips and took a large sip.

You wouldn’t trust Ransom being with Hazel for who knows how long. You couldn’t trust yourself to stay a day there. You wouldn’t last a minute to be in the same room with him. But you thought about Hazel. You felt more selfish for yourself than for Hazel. You had your dad but she never got to see him once. You kept him under a rock that Hazel couldn’t lift up and now she found his photo.

She found you and him together.

There can’t be a way to change her mind. Unless she stays with him. The holidays were coming up. Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away. Maybe you’d give her that much time with him. Ciara’s face leans down to look at you in the eye. For some kind of response for her to agree or to push.

Your mug lowers from your face and you two just shared looks.

That day, you made your way back home after your work was finished. You felt like you swallowed bees. You didn’t bother to text Hazel you were coming home or that you were going to talk to her. You just needed to be home right away to talk to her. To tell her everything.

You were afraid to give her everything about him. You needed to take it slow every now and then.

The moment you stepped into your apartment you dropped your bag and opened Hazel’s bedroom, seeing her on her bed with her laptop on her lap. “Hey, mom,” She says.

You grin softly, “Can I talk to you?” Hazel did not refuse and she watches you sit on the edge of her bed. Hazel knew this certain stance of a parent. “I know this morning was not my morning. But... I want you to know that I love you very much. And that I did not mean to yell. But I am willing... to tell you about your father. He didn’t die in an accident.”

Hazel closes her laptop and gently pulls her knees to cross in front of her. You did it yourself, crossing your leg over the other. “What do you want to know?” You ask in a calm voice. Hazel lowers her gaze to think about the millions of questions already scrambling through her head like a roller coaster.

She finally caught one, “What was dad like?” She says, shyly. This was the question you didn’t want to hear from her. But you had to anyway, “He was... difficult to work with in school. His family was rich and so anything he could do wouldn’t be a problem. He was kind in some moments, I remembered his father always fought with him.”

“Did he leave when... you were?”

Hazel noticed your soft nod and your head lowers, picking at your nails like you were a little girl again. How much you blushed when he came toward you like you saw him for the first time. The way he pulled a strand behind your ear. He never complimented much nor did he say ‘I love you’.

“We were around your age when I found out about you. After I told him, his parents flipped. And after a few days, he yelled and left. That’s when I moved to Oregon with your grandma and grandpa.” You reach for her hair and pushed it behind her ear. Just like he did to you.

Your hand rests on the sheets and you softly sighed. Regretting these words slip out like a load of cash falling out of an ATM. “If I trust you... to call me everyday, every night. I might consider something.”

“Consider what?” She asks, you don’t respond to her and that made her eyes slowly go wide. “To visit him?” You take her hand and gently grasped it. “I am sending you to Boston.”

“You can’t come?” She asked. You shook your head and reached up for her cheek. “I think it’s best to stay here and keep going to work. I have a project and I hate to leave you, but I really want you to call me. I love hearing your voice.” Hazel grins and nods. “Thank you, mom.”

You smile at her and pulled her to your chest. Placing a kiss on her forehead, you trusted her more now. The least of trust was from her father. The most scary thing to do was to call him. Hazel pulls away and she slips something into your hand. “What’s this?” You asked.

You opened the small note and read the similar number with his name written nicely in. “In case you didn’t have it.” You held the paper tight in your hand and turned to Hazel one last time before standing up. “Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes.” Hazel nods and went back to her own things as you left her room and went into yours.

You pulled out your phone and stared at the keypad. His number sitting on the paper, urging you to not call. 16 years apart, you never thought it’d come to this day. His daughter to stay with him for a while. What if he was still in jail? He could be with another woman and it’d be too late for Hazel to be with a man who’s married to another woman.

It’d be awkward.

Your thumb automatically pushes the numbers and your thumb hovers over the call button. Your breath began to get caught in your throat. Your eyes began to water and your fingers shook. You clicked the button and heard it buzz in your ear.

The ring went off.

You waited.

It rung again.

You swallowed hard. “Hello?”

“Hugh.”

“Who is this?”

“It’s me.”

“Who?”

“Y/N.”

There was a long pause.

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unmanageable-day · 4 years ago

Text

you can read the first part here but i think it’s not that necessary lol

Pairing. Mingyu x y/n x Wonwoo

Genre. angst / ugly break up, mention of accusing of cheating

Summary. Mingyu doesn’t want to be that person he hates the most, who regrets everything later and realizes how precious one is after that person is not within his reach anymore. Unfortunately it is probably already too late

a/n: i used to have the longer version of his in my draft but tumblr didn’t let me save it and it got lost just like that.

He had been declining your intention to meet in person. It had been 5 days since he got discharged and went back home. You sent text messages to him everyday, asking if you could come over. He kept making excuses, saying he wanted to rest or he didn't feel good. Frankly he never felt good since Wonwoo visited him in the hospital. He knew once he agreed to meet you, it would be over that instant. It was difficult to get a wink of sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, Wonwoo's words kept echoing in his ears.

It's now a waiting game. She wouldn't want to be associated with you. She probably regrets knowing a Kim Mingyu. It's now a waiting game. Enjoy while it lasts. Being Y/N's boyfriend.

One day, it seemed you had reached the peak of frustration and it showed in your most recent text. 'Mingyu, I don't know how to put it into words. But I really need to talk to you and I don't think I can hold it any longer. If we can't meet, then I think I should just tell you through text.' Even Mingyu could hear the way you talked.

Without thinking, Mingyu called you right away. He was afraid to receive more texts from you because he knew what you would say. The idea of being dumped through text was scarier than he thought.

"Y/N?" "How are you doing?" "I'm.. good, I guess." "Look, I..." "After lunch. Is that okay?" he asked weakly. "Okay. I'll bring your favorite bread pudding." "No need to. I'm good." Mingyu tried hard not to choke himself when he realized tears were ready to stream down his cheeks. "But still.." "Y/N?" "Yeah?" "I love you." It was odd even for him to say it now. "Oh.." You sounded taken aback. You paused, not knowing what to say. "Anyway, I'm hanging up first," Mingyu continued. He knew he can’t take it anymore.

He dragged his feet to wash his face. His mother was excited to hear that you would come over. She had no idea that you coming just for one purpose only; to end everything with her son. Mingyu had to force a smile and lie that he and you were fine.

Mingyu’s mother escorted you directly to the son’s room as you arrived. You found Mingyu sitting up on his bed, staring at nothing. His mother had to call him to snap him back to reality before leaving his bedroom.

You sat on the other edge of his bed. "Mingyu, I’ll just be straight to the point. About us..."

“Wait,” he interrupted with a weak voice. “I'll get you some cake Joshua brought yesterday. You'll love it.” Then he got up, leaving you in his bedroom for a moment.

You sighed. This should be easy.

Mingyu came back with a little smile, two plates of strawberry cake were on his hands. "Joshua is learning to bake. He's not on my level yet but the taste is not bad."

You smiled listening to him.

"Seungkwan just arrived from Jeju yesterday and brought some tangerines. I think my mom has prepared some for you too." He kept on going about his friends. Jeonghan finally going official with his girl friend. Seungcheol planning to go mount climbing with his gym buddies. Seokmin making new friends with some guys in the office. Until he was running out of his friends' life updates, Mingyu eventually slowed down talking.

"Can I have my turn to talk?" you asked, trying to read his mood carefully. He had been smiling a lot when he rambled about his buddies. You just didn't know—or maybe you just didn't care that much anymore that the smiley face was just a disguise.

No. Don't.. Mingyu now wore an expressionless face, his eyes locked on yours. He wished you could read his mind. He didn't dare to say 'don't say a word' right into your face.

"Mingyu, I.. I don't think we can, I can.. now it's just..." Why was it so hard to you to complete your sentence? It used to be easy with your previous boyfriends.

"Don't.." he mumbled.

"What?"

He shook his head slowly. His jaw was clenched, teeth gritted as he almost blurted it out. Don't continue. Don't speak a word..

Inhaling deeply, you continued. "Mingyu, don’t you think it would be better to end—"

"Y/N, please tell me we'll be alright," he cut in. His eyes looked desperate, searching for mercy while gazing deeply directly at yours. He gripped your hands, continuing, "I was wrong. We should have never fought. I messed up. The fault was all mine."

"Mingyu.."

"I'll do anything. Anything for you to forgive me. I will not ask anything about you and Wonwoo anymore. If you want to hang out with Wonwoo on weekends, you can go and I won't say anything. If you guys want to have your exclusive movie night, or game night, or even sleepover, it's okay, I won't question you anymore." He put his head down as he started to sniffle.

‘Seriously? You never got jealous over Chaeyeon just once?’ Mingyu asked one day, fascinated by the fact that you were his first girlfriend that never questioned about his best friend who was a girl.

‘Why should I?’ you chuckled. ‘I also have Wonwoo, remember?’

‘We’re definitely the coolest couple,’ he cheered happily.

Both Mingyu and you had been understanding about your respective best friends. You had no problem with Mingyu going out with Chaeyeon even when it was just the two of them. Mingyu also used to be fine when you had to cancel your dates because Wonwoo needed you. Until it didn’t work that way anymore one day.

"Mingyu, don't be like this."

"I'm sorry," he sobbed harder as he squeezed your hands. "If I have to beg on my knees, I will. So, please, let this stay in the past and we'll start anew."

You stayed still, feeling uneasy as you watched Mingyu weeping his eyes out. He kept mumbling 'I'm sorry's and 'this is all my fault's desperately.

"Mingyu, stop crying. Your mother will think I'm being violent to you." You reached out your thumbs to wipe off the tears all over his face. Contrasting the affectionate gestures, your tone sounded cold and your expression was dull. Or maybe irritated. That was what he thought judging from your frown.

Mingyu held your hands cupping his own cheeks. "Y/N, please?"

You quickly pulled your hands away. "Mingyu, let's give ourselves some more time to think, okay?"

—

"Mingyu?" You were flustered to see him in front of your door. More than a week had passed and you hadn’t seen him again to finish the last hanging conversation. You never expected him to come to you first like this.

"Y/N.." A smile—a bittersweet one—slowly crept up his lips, showing off his canine. He didn't look as content like he used to. His eyes couldn't even hide his sadness and he looked unsure of what he was doing. But from the way he called your name, there was a longing feeling in his voice.

"I'm sorry but you should go home, Mingyu," was all you could say.

He should know better that his presence was unexpected and probably unwanted. "I don't want to. It kills me inside to be home alone. It feels like dying to think that you're not within my reach, that you're so distant from me. Y/N, if you want to despise me, you can. If yelling at me can relieve your frustration, yell at me and I won't talk back. Y/N, please, just hate me for the rest of your life but please don't be like this. I can't stand this cold shoulders, it's torturing me. I just want to be a part of your life, as a person who can have all your trust, as a person who will always believe in you and be by your side, as a person who loves you with all my heart."

A cynical tsk was suddenly heard. Without making a sound, Wonwoo was approaching your side with his light steps just like a cat. "You finish with your words?"

"Jeon Wonwoo.. what—" He choked on his own words, effectively stopping himself from doing what he used to do; questioning your intimate friendship with Wonwoo. A train of memories of you and him arguing in a big fight suddenly slipped across his mind.

'What is exactly your relationship with Wonwoo? You often ditch me for him. Is he really that important and I'm not? I'm your boyfriend, Y/N.' 'Are you seeing him behind my back? Are you fucking him?' You thought you could hold it in, but not with him accusing you like this. 'Mingyu, you sound crazy, do you know that? Are you hearing yourself?' you snapped. 'I sound crazy right now? How about you always saying 'Wonwoo this' and 'Wonwoo that', when I am literally your boyfriend who puts you, my girlfriend, on top of my priority list?' 'Do you know how many times I have to hold myself back, because I don't want to be that insecure bitch saying 'don't go with Wonwoo', 'do you have to go with Wonwoo?' and 'I don't like it when you go out with Wonwoo'?' 'Are you playing with me now? Am I just a toy?' 'Is it fun two-timing me over your so-called best friend?' 'Two-tim— Mingyu, you—' That was the first time you raised your voice to him that you wanted to slap him hard. But you didn’t. 'Okay. Let's do this. Is it me or is it Wonwoo?' 'Mingyu, you're out of your mind!' you almost shrieked. 'I ask you one more time, is it me or is it Wonwoo?' 'I really can't do this. Fine if you really want to hear my answer. Sorry, Mingyu, good bye.' It hit him. 'Y/N! You didn't mean it, did you?' 'Sorry, Mingyu.. Wonwoo and I value our friendship in a way you will never understand. Wonwoo it is,’ you told him as you started to walk away. It hit him hard. He quickly reached your arms. The last thing he would want was regretting his decision and realizing how precious one is after losing her. 'Y/N! No, no, no. Forget what I asked. I can't lose you like this!' A heavy sigh escaped your mouth along with tears streaming down your cheek. 'Mingyu, I'm tired. I don't want to hurt you anymore. You're tired of that too, right?' you weakly said as you wiped your tears. With him not saying anything anymore, you left him without turning back.

Mingyu recalled one of the ugliest fight between you. It was painful to remember all the following parts when you gave up talking to him. When you chose Wonwoo over him. When you said you were tired of hurting him. When he just realized what he did wrong when you disappeared from his sight.

"If your business is done here, you should go home. Or are you going to ask why I'm here?" Wonwoo cooed.

Mingyu tried to ignore him. He turned to look at you, but you still looked unfazed, looking away as you crossed your arms. "I.. didn't know Wonwoo was here.."

A mocking chuckle escaped his mouth, scratching another wound to Mingyu's pride. "I am her best friend. I am here all the time. As a matter of fact, we were fucking. But you disturbed us."

To be honest, you were shocked to hear Wonwoo talking like that. On a normal daily basis, he was calm and speak nothing but good words. He never got himself involved in a cat fight. Except, when it comes to you, he will never hesitate to throw hands at anyone who dares messing up with you.

"No need to be surprised, right?" Wonwoo continued. "You said it yourself. You asked Y/N once, right? I guess you were very curious about whether she and I fuck each other. We do, Mingyu. We do."

You remained silent. Partially it was because you were taken aback at Wonwoo's odd behavior. He didn't usually get mad easily. You knew he would always take your side. But at the same time, maybe Wonwoo being like this would help to make Mingyu go away.

Mingyu was trembling on his spot. "Y/N, please say something," he weakly pleaded. At this moment he couldn't even tell if Wonwoo was just talking bullshit or it was actually the truth. Back in the days, when he confronted you about it, you immediately said no. For now he just wanted to believe what you said weeks ago.

Your mouth was sealed. Your eyes travel to take a glance at the tall guy just to flash him a dark, cold expression of yours before looking at the ground again.

“Y/N, please..” He was on the brink of crying.

You looked up and found his teary eyes. “You didn’t believe me when I said no. So what makes it different if you do now? It won’t change anything anyways.”

"The real question is, Mingyu, what are you doing here?" Again, Wonwoo retorted, smirking, folding his arms on his chest. Surprisingly this gesture made him even more intimidating despite his slim figure. His victorious, confident smile definitely was what made him look superior. “Oh, right!” he continued, chuckling—mocking, “After a lot of things happened, I almost forget you’re still Y/N’s boyfriend. Or are you not anymore?”

You noticed how uncomfortable Mingyu was standing before you. At the same time, you were also reminded how he doubted your friendship with Wonwoo, how he always suspected you and Wonwoo, until he wrongfully accused you. Then you remembered what he said days ago, about him not saying anything about Wonwoo anymore. It turned out you still have a heart to not let Mingyu break down completely. The big, tall guy clearly had no idea what to do, or what to say. He was tense, nervous and restless, knowing that his presence unwanted. Even the habit of brushing his fringe back was only done once since he came; usually he did it thousands times and you used to mimic him on behalf of his friend, Seokmin.

You softly asked Wonwoo to go back to your kitchen to check on the scone you two made, and thankfully he obeyed you. Even when he left you, his victorious smrik wouldn't disappear as he kept eyeing the taller guy.

"Mingyu, it's not healthy for us—for you, to keep it this way," you uttered. "You should stop apologize too. It's already in the past. Even I won't bring it up again. You will be forgiven, I promise, but not now. For now, I think it’s best for us to go on our own."

"Please, give us another chance," he sobbed, his voice cracking.

You heard Wonwoo calling your name, followed by an unclear mumbles. But you sure did hear that your scone was failing.

"Mingyu, I'm sorry but I'm running late for Wonwoo's mom's birthday dinner." You looked concerned, but definitely not apologetic.

All energy in Mingyu's legs felt like vanishing totally. His stomach was filled by lots of emotion—mostly anger to himself, that he felt sick. He wasn't sure if he could support himself to stand straight and walk properly. Why did he even pick up a fight with you and vomit hurtful words, that you can't bear with him anymore?

"You see, there are some of your stuff here, and I should give it back to you but it's a mess right now. I'll have your stuff delivered to your house tomorrow."

Eventually Mingyu went down on his knees, still crying.

Wonwoo just shouted your name again. "Coming!" you exclaimed.

“What are those?” he asked between his sniffles, rather in horror as he noticed a box filled with various things. What he saw there shook him even more.

Confused why he suddenly talked about anything else, you looked at the box as if it was nothing. The only thing visible to your eyes was an old scarf that Wonwoo unintentionally burned one day. So you assumed it was just a pile of useless stuff he found in your house. “I don’t know. Wonwoo has been decluttering the whole day. I think he’s going to throw them away.”

Mingyu’s heart sank again. How can you not see what was in that box? A snow globe he got for you when he traveled to Japan. A couple bracelet that he made it himself. Mini photo frames that had him and you in the pictures, smiling so happily. There were still other small stuff that he noticed which were gifts from him. And you said so easily that they were going to end in a dump.

"Mingyu, please?" Squatting down to be in the same eye level with him, finally you looked at him in the eyes, hoping that he would get it that him leaving was one thing you were expecting at the moment. "If there is any other way, I would look for it. But if it means I have to cut Wonwoo off, I can't. I hope I have made myself clear, Mingyu."

"There must be some other way and you don’t have to cut Wonwoo off. Let's look for it, together. Please?"

Shoulders shrugging and head tilting slowly at your side, you looked unsure with your brows furrowed. "I don't think so, Mingyu," you said, shaking your head. "You said it yourself, that we were a mistake."

"That— I don't mean—"

"Mingyu, you should never repeat the same mistake. You don’t want to get hurt for the second time."

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen au #seventeen drabbles #seventeen angst #seventeen mingyu #mingyu imagines #mingyu angst #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo imagines #seventeen fics #post by yourblinkies

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starrybethany · 4 years ago

Text

Kirby Dach: If I Can’t Have You By Shawn Mendes

Word count: 2629

Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTJ-oqwxdZY

Lyrics video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6_9CF1ucoI

I can’t write one song that’s not about you

Can’t drink without thinking about you

I don’t drink often. I tell my friends that it’s because I’m afraid to lose control and I don’t like the feeling of waking up with no idea of what happened the night prior. That’s part of it, but really, the main reason I don’t like to drink is because of Kirby Dach.

Everytime I drink, all I can think about is Kirby. What is Kirby doing right now? I wonder if Kirby scored tonight. What do you think Kirby ate for dinner? How long do you think Kirby’s hair is compared to the last time that I saw him?

I can’t get Kirby out of my mind as soon as a drop of liquor is in my body.

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

He and I decided to keep it lowkey. We decided that since he’s going to be focused on hockey in Chicago and I’m going to be focused on school in Toronto, it wouldn’t be good for either of us to enter a committed relationship.

That was eight months ago. And slowly, text by text, FaceTime call after FaceTime call, my feelings towards him have started to change. I feel more attached to him, I want to hold his hand and pull him around Toronto and show him all of the landmarks.

I want to tell him about my classes and hear about whatever stupid thing Adam said today, but it’s too late. This ‘no strings attached’ situation has set in by now. He thinks we’re both content where we are, so I don’t want to rock the boat.

I’m in Toronto and I got this view

But I might as well be in a hotel room (Yeah)

It doesn’t matter ’cause I’m so consumed

Spending all my nights reading texts from you

Toronto is a beautiful city. From the needle to the towering buildings to the bustling streets, there’s so much activity and always something to look at. And I remember that once in a while, if I’m not too busy looking at my phone.

I’m either waiting for a text from Kirby, which is far and few between these days, or reading old conversations that I’ve had with him. Some of them still make me laugh. Most of them just make me miss him even more.

Oh, I’m good at keeping my distance

I know, that you’re the feeling I’m missing

You know that I hate to admit it

But everything means nothing if I can’t have you

Kirby: We’re in Toronto for a game soon. Do you wanna go and hang out after? ;)

I bite my lip, trying to find the best way to let him down. I can’t see him in person, I know that if I do he’ll see all the love in my eyes and that can’t happen. So I just need to slowly cut him out of my life, and that starts with the hookups everytime he comes into the city.

Y/N: Can’t

My phone instantly vibrates with an incoming call from him. I hold it in my hand, watching as it buzzes. It stops just to start again with another incoming call. I want to answer, everything in my bones is screaming at me to answer, but my brain is telling me that I shouldn’t.

I can’t write one song that’s not about you

Can’t drink without thinking about you

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

“He’s been calling me forever,” I whine to my friends later that night, the fourth or fifth or sixth alcoholic beverage in my hand.

“Just answer already, tell him how you feel!” Another friend just as sloshed as me tells me.

I nod, clicking the answer button as soon as Kirby calls again. “Kur-bye, you-ou keep calling me.”

“Yeah, I’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you,” he responds. “Are you drunk?”

“Wasted,” I laugh.

“Oh my god,” I hear him groan.

“Well I wouldn’t have to get drunk if you just, if you would just, date me,” I stumble through the sentence.

“What?”

The familiar tune of a song that I’ve had on repeat blasts through the speakers of the nightclub that I’ve been spending my time in. I gasp in excitement, “I love this song! Bye, Kur-bee.”

I can’t write one song that’s not about you

Can’t drink without thinking about you

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

My head is throbbing when I wake up and I groan, reluctantly reaching for my phone. I just want to check and see if my school or boss sent me anything that I need to respond to immediately before burrowing back into my sheets, but I freeze when I see the multiple texts, phone calls, and voicemails left from the one person I was drinking to forget.

Kirby: Can you answer your phone? We need to talk about this

Kirby: I’ve called you five times now please answer

Kirby: I’m guessing you went to bed by now. I’ll call you tomorrow to talk

The last thing that I remember about last night was coming back from the bathroom to the girls giving me my fourth drink of the night. What do we need to talk about? What the hell happened last night?

There are two voicemails so I nervously click the speaker button on the first one, noticing it’s only a couple of seconds so it can’t be too bad.

“Hey Y/N, just answer your phone. I just want to talk things out with you, please. Come on.”

He sounds like he’s almost pleading in that one. I must have said something really wrong to get Kirby to sound like that- he’s usually a very confident and cheerful person.

Then I click on the next one. “Um, so I don’t know if you’re avoiding me or sleeping or if you’re sleeping with someone else… we really should discuss what you told me on the phone tonight. I know you sounded drunk but uh, you know what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts. Call me back, or I’ll probably call you back, but please come to the game when I’m in Toronto so we can talk about what happened tonight. Okay. Bye.”

My heart breaks word by word. I have no recollection of what I said to him while plastered last night. What did he mean by drunk words being sober thoughts? I wonder if I told him about my feelings for him that he doesn’t return and he just wants to talk to let me down slowly. That’s probably it, he just wants to tell me, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

But it is me. It was me who had to catch feelings for him. It’s me who has yearnings to explore Chicago with him and sit with the other wives and girlfriends at the games.

So I don’t need to hear his excuses. There is no need to talk to Kirby Dach anymore.

I’m so sorry that my timing is off

But I can’t move on if we’re still gonna talk

Jay is not Kirby. Jay has some similarities to Kirby- they both like the Edmonton Oilers and having sex with me. But Jay is far from Kirby. He doesn’t ask me about my day like Kirby did or listen to the stupid jokes I would tell just to hear his laugh.

But Jay is enough right now. He sits beside me on the couch, watching a YouTube video with me on my phone. It’s two weeks into our relationship and slowly, Kirby has taken my hint of not wanting to talk to him. He called multiple times a day for the first couple of days, then it slowed to once a day, and now it’s every couple of days.

I’m waiting for the day that the calls stop.

But I’m not waiting in a good way.

The video suddenly stops as an incoming call from ‘Kirby Dach’ pops up. It definitely doesn’t help that the screen is of a picture I took cozied up with him after a great night.

Is it wrong for me to not want half

I want all of you, all the strings attached

Oh, I’m good at keeping my distance

“Why is Kirby Dach calling you?” Jay asks sternly.

I shrug, avoiding eye contact with him. I feel like it’s too personal to tell him- my relationship with Kirby was always very personal. “We’re friends.”

“You can’t be friends with a Blackhawks player,” his tone is laced with disgust and I lift my eyes, narrowing them at him.

I’m already pissed off by the fact that he thinks that he can tell me who I can and can’t be friends with, but I decide to entertain him. “Why not?”

“The Blackhawks are such a dirty team. DeBrincat laid that dirty hit on Bear…” He drones on and I stop listening to him. This conversation is ridiculous, Jay is ridiculous, this relationship is ridiculous, this whole situation is ridiculous.

“Get out.”

“What?” He asks in surprise.

“Get out. You’re not going to sit here and talk about him and his teammates like that,” I holler. I think we’re both shocked by the amount of rage that my voice holds. “He was drafted third overall, he’s very talented, he’s playing for a team packed with Stanley Cup winners. Get out if you’re going to disrespect Kirby like that.”

Jay leaves with little protest. And funnily enough, all that I want is Kirby’s arms wrapped around me.

I know, that you’re the feeling I’m missing

You know that I hate to admit it

But everything means nothing if I can’t have you

It’s been a month. Kirby hasn’t tried to contact me since he called me while Jay was there. I know it’s my fault for losing him- I should’ve answered his calls, returned his texts, and FaceTimed him when I needed him.

I should have gone to his game. I regret staying home and eating ice cream instead.

When the Hawks are playing the Leafs, he likes to see me in the crowd. He likes to see the one red jersey in the sea of blue, he likes to pass the puck with Alex in front of where I’m sitting, he likes to look at me with his eyes sparkling whenever he gets a goal or assist.

I avoid seeing the score of the game. In fact, I avoid social media as a whole. I don’t want to see how happy Kirby is without me. I don’t want him to be miserable, of course, but I’m just not ready to see that beaming smile on his face that should be directed at me.

That would be directed at me if I didn’t stop talking to him. But it wouldn’t be in the way that I want him to be smiling at me.

I can’t write one song that’s not about you

Can’t drink without thinking about you

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

A warm bath and a glass of wine have always helped me relax. I’ve used it as a way to clear my mind, a way to discover how I’m truly feeling about everything.

The wine in my glass tastes bitter as I stare down at the burgundy liquid. I feel like I’m always drinking. If I’m not drinking to forget, I’m drinking to feel something.

And all I can feel right now is longing. I miss Kirby. Even if I would be friendzoned it would be worth it just to have the brunette in my life. Kirby gave me so much more happiness than I realized he did- through ‘good morning, how are you?’ texts to funny memes he would find on Instagram. I would always smile when I saw his name on my phone.

Now I feel like I just have my phone and a missing piece of my heart.

I can’t write one song that’s not about you

Can’t drink without thinking about you

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

It’s two months too long without Kirby. And he tried to reach out to me for a month, so how much longer do I have before he forgets me completely? Before he finds another girl to make smile or laugh?

How much longer do I have to win Kirby’s heart? My eyes widen in horror at the thought of it already being won by someone else. My heartbeat picks up and it’s then that I know.

I’m in love with Kirby Dach. And I need to tell him. I need to woman up and stop ignoring him. I need to communicate and tell him my feelings like an adult, even if it might crush me in the end.

My wet hand reaches over the side of the bathtub for my phone, ignoring the fact that I’m getting water all of it before pulling up Kirby’s contact. It rings and rings for what feels like years. He never answers.

I know what I need to do. I need to go to Chicago.

I’m trying, to move on, forget you, but I hold on

Everything means nothing, everything means nothing, babe

I stare out the window of the airplane at the vast blue sky and the few clouds in it. I just know my friends would call me crazy if they saw me right now. They would tell me that the best way to move on is to get under someone new, and I tried that with Jay, but I can never get over Kirby.

At least not without closure.

I don’t think I want someone new. Kirby is familiar but he’s comfortable. I know who I am with Kirby and I know who he is too.

I’m trying, to move on, forget you, but I hold on

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

I can’t write one song that’s not about you

Can’t drink without thinking about you

He gave me his address once when I wanted to send him a care package. I found some socks and soaps that I thought he would love, so he told me the address of Brent and Dayna Seabrook’s house and opened the box on FaceTime with me.

I remember his cheer as he saw the pug faces on the socks and the satisfied sigh when he smelled the vanilla of the soap.

I smile at the memory, nervously fumbling with the seatbelt of the Uber I’m taking from the hotel I’m staying at to the Seabrooks’ house. I should’ve checked the Hawks schedule before even booking my ticket, but I remembered to do it on my flight and was relieved to find that they had two days off starting today.

So if all goes well, Kirby has two days to spend with me. If all does not go well, I have two days to explore this city by myself.

I hope it’s the first option so much I cross my fingers so tight that they’re white.

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

I knock on the front door anxiously, balancing from my heels to my toes as I wait for someone to open the door. I hear footsteps and a beautiful brunette pulls the door open, giving me a questioning smile.

“Um, hi, um, is Kirby here?” I inquire, shoving my sweaty hands into my pockets.

“Yes, he is. Who are you?” Her tone sounds more curious than accusatory, so I’m assuming Kirby doesn’t have many girls around here. I’m relieved about that fact.

“Y/N,” I answer.

“Oh! Yeah, I know you, Kirby’s talked about you,” she connects the dots and her smile fades a bit, “Why aren’t you in Toronto right now?”

“I need to tell Kirby that I love him in person,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. “Oh, I’m sorry-”Her giggle cuts me off. “No worries, I’ll go get him for you. Please, come in.”

I wait in the foyer of their gorgeous house, looking around with wide eyes. So this is where Kirby spends most of the year. He eats in this kitchen, plays with the kids in the living room, and practices stickhandling in that backyard.

My thoughts get cut off by the sound of feet coming up the stairs from the basement. I feel my eyebrows twitch and I bite my lip in anticipation. It’s now or never.

I can’t write one song that’s not about you

Can’t drink without thinking about you

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can’t have you

“Y/N?” His hair does look longer. It’s covered by a hat put on backwards, and a baggy sweater that I’ve worn a time or two before covers his torso. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have a big project due next week?”

My heart swells at the fact that he remembered that. “I do. But I need to tell you something.”

“Okay?” He urges me to continue.

I take a deep breath. “I love you.”

A wide grin spread across his face. That sparkle that I’ve been dying to see returns to his eyes and he takes a step closer towards he then stops, like he’s in disbelief. “Really?”

“Really,” I breathe out. Unable to stop myself, I take a few steps forward, closing the gap between us, and lift my lips to meet his.

Even though we’ve kissed before, this kiss is different. This kiss holds so much meaning, so much passion. We know how we feel about each other now, we no longer have to hide it.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispers against my lips.

“Me too.”

#kirby Dach imagine #NHL imagines #Chicago blackhawks imagine #kirby Dach x reader #kirby Dach fanfic

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donghyuwus · 5 years ago

Text

Renjun | Fortunate Events

pairing: renjun x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst and some heated stuff at the end (don’t worry nothing special)

warnings: none really excpet the makeout session at the end :)

words: 2011

authors note: hihi, hope this one does show up in the tags *gives tumblr an annoyed face* anyways the beginning of this has been in my drafts for a while and i got bored and bold so i decided to finish it today. hope u guys like it :)

disclaimer: english is not my first language so sorry for my spelling or grammar mistakes, i tried my best.

“Are you sure you want to go?”

You glanced over at Renjun trough the mirror, who was sitting at the end of your bed. Concentrated he looked at his fingers which he was playing with. A frown was placed on his forehead and his lips were sticking out in a pout. Quietly you chuckled at him while shaking your head.

“You know he isn’t the worst, why do you dislike him so much?” While waiting for an answer you returned to getting yourself ready. A few days ago you had been asked on a date by Lee Jeno. To your surprise actually. You didn’t quite have a crush on him or anything, you never really developed crushes anymore since kindergarten. Honestly you didn’t know why, so you just settled with the thought that your mind was too busy with other stuff instead of guys. But when Jeno asked you out you thought you had to give it a try. Jeno was nice and quite good-looking so why not give it a go right? However you found it weird that he asked you since you always thought he liked someone else. Honestly the whole school thought so. But oh well, things change, am I right?

Behind you you heard the boy sigh before he stood up and walked over only to stop right behind you. His eyes scanned your reflection in the mirror and you could swear he smiled for a split second, only to it being replaced by the pout right after. “I know. Jeno is nice and all, but you don’t even like him. For a fact you never liked anyone y/n.” Annoyed you stopped what you were doing and turned around to look him right in the eye. “Stop with saying that Ren, don’t you want me to be happy or anything?”

His big eyes stared at you and you let out a pissed huff. “You know, I’ve could have gone on so many dates but I didn’t. Always because you had something important which caused me to cancel it and rush over to you. Only to my surprise it not being that important after all.” With big steps you stomped over to your jacket. Just as you were about to leave you turned around and looked at him. “Now tell me Renjun, what are you gonna say this time to make me stay?”

You could see his eyes looking down defeated and deep inside you could feel your heart break seeing him hurt. But you were holding strong. A few seconds passed by and you could see him opening his mouth, only to it being closed again right after. You huffed once again and as you closed the door you could swear he said something but you were too worked up to hear it.

As expected you arrived there way too early. Not wanting to go into the cinema alone you decided to wait outside. First it started with a few minutes, but minutes turned into hours and soon you were almost freezing and hurt. Honestly you didn't expect Jeno not to come, he wasn't the type to let someone hanging like that. So with a sigh you started thinking about options to go home. The busses already stopped riding for the day so that wouldn't be a solution, besides that you had already spent all your money on getting here, not bringing more because Jeno told you he would give you a ride back. Walking home wouldn't be that smart because it was cold, almost dark and way too far. Immediately someone popped up in your head, but being the stubborn and petty idiot you were you ignored the thought and instead thought that walking would be a good idea.

Not even 10 minutes later you were starting to lose feeling in your hands because of the cold and you were getting a bit too paranoid knowing you were all alone in the dark, on an empty road. So eventually you gave up the battle against yourself and grabbed your phone. You dialled in his number and waited for him to pick up, witch didn't take long.

"Y/n? Are you okay? Why are you calling? Aren't you with Jeno?” His voice sounded worried and petty at the same time and you frowned, why did this kid hate Jeno that much? You shuffled around a bit before answering.

“Well,, uh,, my date stood me up. Can you please pick me up? I'm freezing to death here.” Not even a second later he asked where you were and without saying anything else he hung up. It didn't take him long to arrive and when he did you could see his face full of worries as soon as he stepped out of the car to open the door for you.

When he closed the door after sitting down himself a silence fell over the both of you. His eyes went to look at you. Renjun has stared at you numerous of times. All those times nothing would resolve of them. But this time you could feel yourself tension up. You didn't dare to look at him for some reason. Maybe you were afraid he was gonna scold you for going out with someone he didn't want you to and ending up like this. Or maybe he would be disappointed.

“I’m sorry.” You froze at his words. From everything that you had predicted, you hadn’t expected this. Why wasn’t he mad because you didn't listen to him? Your eyes met his and in the soft light that came from some lanterns Renjun looked more beautiful than ever and you held in your breath while looking at his face. You have seen his face so many times, with all different emotions displayed on them. But for some reason the one he displayed now was foreign to you. It gave you a weird feeling in your stomach and you quickly shook your head before turning your eyes to the road.

“It’s okay,” you whispered, “after all I should have listened. Look at me now I'm an ice cube." You chuckled at yourself quietly as you stared at your fingers. Soon after a silence fell over the both of you and the only noise heard was the engine of the car as it was still on to provide some heat.

"Hey Ren-" you turned your head to look at him, only to swallow all your words because of the closeness of his face. His eyes stared into yours before they went down to your lips. Never in your life had you felt the things you were feeling in that moment. Since when did Renjun make you this nervous? Why was he even this close? Why did you want him to press his lips against yours?

He seemed to read your mind and started leaning in as he slowly closed your eyes. You mirrored his moves.

Ring.

Your lips almost touching and your faces inches apart you shot up when your phone ringed. A sigh escaped out of the boy next to you when you answered.

A familiar voice on the other line began speaking: 'Hey it's Jeno, I'm so sorry for what happened today. It's a long story but basically my best friend needed me, it was an emergency. I'll make it up to you another time, I promise.' It was silent for a moment on your side of the line, processing his words. 'It's okay Jeno, really. Is everything okay with your friend?' 'Yeah, yeah he is alright now. Anyways I'll take you on another date to make it up to you, if you want to of course.' You fumbled your fingers, thinking of a way to say the thing you wanted to. Beside you Renjun was holding his breath and was completely still, you were sure he could hear what Jeno was saying.

'I'm sorry Jeno but I don't think I really want to. Today I realized that somebody who I used to perceive as just a friend, means a little more to me than just that. I think I like him.' It was quiet for a while and you were nervous, afraid that you had hurted him. While beside you Renjun was even stiller than before, did he die? You were almost sure your heart was beating a way out of your chest, nervous for how he would think of what you just confessed. 'That's totally fine y/n. If I'm gonna be totally honest I think I have feelings for someone who I saw as just a friend too. Haha I think that maybe this was meant to happen today. I hope everything works out with you and him. I wish you two the best.' 'Thanks Jeno, I wish the same for you.' 'Bye y/n.' 'Bye, bye.' And with that the conversation ended. You swallowed hard and put your phone back down in your purse. Too afraid to face the boy beside you, you stared outside of the window in front of you. It had started raining, you looked at the drops racing down the window.

'He likes you too.' Your head jolted in his direction. 'Who does?' You asked caught off guard by his sudden speaking. He rolled his eyes annoyed before he leaned forward and connected your lips with his. His hands cupping your now increasingly hot face. It felt like your heart stopped beating. He stopped after a good minute and moved his face to your ear. 'I do, silly.' As a whisper it came out, his lips touching your ear while saying the words. It felt like you were getting a fever, like you went crazy. Before you could respond, he had moved his head again and reconnected both of your lips. Now being much less gentle. One of his hands was still cupping your jawline and part of your cheek, while the other was now in your hair, rummaging trough it. Feeling like a dumb statue with your hands glued to your side, you decided you could use some action as well and so you put both your hands in his hair.

You had played with his hair before but not in this way. It felt different, everything did, like this was a whole new Renjun. You loved both versions of him but this one made you go absolutely nuts. His hair felt even more amazing than usual, soft and fluffy. His lips felt like they were made for yours. You could shoot yourself for not finding out sooner that this has been what you always wanted since you met Renjun, wanting to be more than friends. That's why you never truly liked anyone, why dates never happened a second time and why nobody made their way into your heart. It was because Renjun already had a place there and a big one too.

His tongue went across your lower lip, asking for permission, which you gave him. While he was exploring your mouth your hands traveled down his neck and under his shirt. You didn't know where you got to courage from but it was soon gone when Renjun stopped and grabbed your hands, removing them from his skin. He was smiling, looking insanely good. His lips red and plump from the kissing, his cheeks tinted red and his hair messy but oh so gorgeous. 'Not now baby. Maybe later.' A peck was placed on your cheek but you were honestly not paying much attention, still stuck on the name he just called you. You were sure you were the brightest tint of red you ever have been. While you were daydreaming he repositioned himself in his seat and started the car again. 'First let's get you something to eat. You must be starving.' Nodding your head you got yourself together and fixed your hair.

'So where are we going? McDonalds? KFC?' He looked over at you and you smirked. 'Your house.' A claugh escaped his mouth at your brave statement and he reached out to pinch your cheek before driving off.

'McDonalds it is.'

FIN

heya, if you liked this and would like to support me and my work consider buying me a kofi for 2 euro’s trough the link in the descripition, it would mean a lot to me! but don’t feel forced to of course, it’s totally optional <3

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theanimesideblog · 5 years ago

Note

Hello again! I absolutely loved the headcannons you wrote for the platonic Aizawa. Do you mind if I request one more thing? Perhaps the student gets into a relationship with Dabi or even any other of the villans and is super nervous to tell Aizawa in fear of him reacting badly, but also stands up for the relationship that they found with there villan. I'm a sucker for the whole hero/villan romance thing! Thanks in advance!

Platonic!Aizawa & Platonic!Reader, Dabi x Reader: Villianous Love

TW: cursing, angst

A/N: you’re so kind I don’t mind at all 💕💕 thanks, dear! Also, I never said gave the reader an age sO let’s say that they’re close to Dabi’s. I had fun with this! You don’t need to read the previous parts, just know Aizawa is a father figure to the reader. This has been sitting in my drafts for too long

You sighed as you dropped your bags to the ground. Finally you were home after a long day of hero-ing.

You currently worked at Aizawa’s old agency. They demanded a lot from you, especially with the League still at large. You didn’t mind, however. Aizawa had trained you to handle large work loads. Besides, if the villains were at bay, you couldn’t complain.

Speaking of which…

“Hello to you too, Sunshine.” Dabi said. You turned around with a start, before composing yourself. You hadn’t even noticed he was there.

“You would get a hello if your League didn’t tire me out today.” You said, trying to play cool as you walked over to him. You plopped down onto the couch, placing your head in his lap.

“Sorry the hero world sucks.” He said, playing with your hair. It was something you agreed on. The major difference was that you worked with the system, he worked against it. You groaned.

“Can we not talk about that?” You asked. He nodded. Somethings were to be talked about at different times.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asked. You hummed before coming up with a topic.

“Let me tell you about this awful receptionist we just got.” You said, before telling him about how rude this receptionist was to everyone.

You loved Dabi with all your heart. You didn’t mean to! You just ended up find each other in fanfic level coincidences that lead to eventual love. You both related to having horrible parents and you admitted that some heroes really did only do it for the money. A romance blossomed in a place it shouldn’t.

“Sunshine, your phone is going off.” Dabi said, interrupting your rant. You groaned and got up to get your phone from your bag.

Your breath caught in your throat when you saw the name.

“Don’t say anything! It’s Aizawa!” You said to Dabi before leaving the room as an extra precaution.

You still hadn’t told Aizawa about your relationship and, to be fair, you didn’t think he would approve. You were afraid you would lose Aizawa if you did, and you couldn’t deal with losing him too.

“Hey, Sensei!” You said. You heard Aizawa sigh.

“Hello, (Y/N). You don’t have to keep calling me Sensei.” You pursed you’re lips.

“I know. So, what’s up?” You asked.

“I’m in the area and I have food. I saw you had a long day today, so I figured you didn’t eat yet. I’m almost to your place.” You wanted to gasp as you mentally cursed. You should have known he would just “happen to be in the area.” He always was after long days. Normally, you loved it. Right now, not so much.

“Sounds great! See you soon.” You said. You hung up as soon as he said his fairwell.

You ran into your living room. Dabi was unaware of the situation and was relaxing on your sofa.

“You have to leave right now!! Aizawa is on his way!!!” You said, pushing Dabi off the sofa. He didn’t even have time to grab his things. You had already pushed him out onto the fire escape.

“My shoes-“ You quickly ran back and threw Dabi’s shoes at him.

“Bye, love you, sorry to throw you out, see you later, stay out of trouble.” You said, closing your window. Dabi lightly chuckled.

“Love you too.” You smiled at him softly. Suddenly, there was a knock at your door.

“Shit, bye!” You whispered, shutting the blinds and the window completely.

“Wait-” Dabi tried, but it was too late. You had left the window and moved towards the door, composing yourself before opening it.

“Hey, Sens-um-Aizawa!” You said. He nodded. “Please come in.” He did as you asked. You took the bag of food from his hands as he took off his shoes.

“How are you?” He asked. You sighed.

“Exhausted, but alive. You?” You and Aizawa walked into the kitchen. You started to put the food out while he got plates.

“About the same.” He said as the two of you silently set up everything.

“Tell me about your new class!” You said, sitting down to a meal.

Ever since starting at the agency, you were always willing to take in any work studies or internships from UA. Having Aizawa tell you about the new class was a way to get the inside scoop before anyone else.

Aizawa talked about all the students. They were different from your own class, but they still had the same fire. You loved to hear about their passion. It’s what the world needed.

You two kept the conversation light. You didn’t want to talk about today and Aizawa didn’t dare push you. You two talked about students, work, UA in general, and the things in your private life, for the most part. You wouldn’t dream of uttering your relationship with Dabi around Aizawa. Not yet, at least.

Once you two finished dinner, you offered Aizawa some tea for the way. He accepted it. So, you put on a pot of tea while he went to sit in the living room. This was a little routine you two had developed without noticing. Not doing it would be wrong.

You started to space out as you prepared the tea, until Aizawa’s voice pulled you back to earth.

“(Y/N)!” He called from the living room. His voice sounded tense, causing you to rush. When you entered the room, you saw him holding Dabi’s infamous coat. Your heart caught in your throat and your limbs went numb. How would you spin this?

“Did you notice this earlier?!” He asked. You shook your head. If you did, it would have been with Dabi or tucked away from sight. “You’ve been compromised. You can’t stay here. We have to call the police and get you somewhere safe, now.”

“We don’t.” You said.

“We do! I always knew this was a possibility, but I didn’t want to think it would happen. How could I be so naïve?” Aizawa groaned, gripping the coat tightly.

“You don’t need to protect me.” You tried. Aizawa shook his head.

“I can’t let you fall into the League’s hands.” You shook your head.

“I’m not in danger!”

“You are-”

“Dabi is my boyfriend!” You exclaimed. Your eyes widened and you covered your mouth as if that could have fixed this.

“What!” Aizawa asked, making you flitch. It was the same tone he used on the students when they did something horribly wrong. You shut your eyes tight, taking a breath before opening them.

“Dabi is my boyfriend. He was over here before you came-”

“How long has this been going on for?” Aizawa asked.

“A few months.” You said. Aizawa covered his head with his hand.

“So, what? You’re a member of the League now?” He asked. You shook your head.

“No! I’m a hero!” You exclaimed, clutching your heart.

“A hero would never date a villain.” Aizawa said. You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces.

“I love him, okay! He and I both want justice, we just do it in different ways!” You said.

“You’ve dated him for only a few months! How do you know you love him!” Aizawa said. He was still, yet his eyes dug into your soul. You wanted to cry.

“Because I feel happy around him!” You said.

“You’re happy with a killer.” Aizawa said. You felt like he just punched you.

“I-”

“I have to report this to the authorities.” You gasped, earning no sympathy from your mentor.

“No! It’ll make you and the agency look bad!” You cried.

“Break up with him by tomorrow or I report this. We have a lot to talk about, (Y/N).” Aizawa threw Dabi’s coat on the floor and left your apartment.

The tea kettle whistled for your attention, but you couldn’t move.

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years ago

Text

Never underestimate a black suit

Bill Hader x Reader

I'm not even going to pretend I regret this one. It all started in 2009 when I became obsessed with SNL, then he just kept popping up, here an there and the crush just grow, and since thanks to It chapter 2 he is finally getting the recognition he deserves I got this idea last night and I got to write it before it escapes my mind.

One shot: Imagine you are a PA in Barry and you have the biggest crush on Bill Hader but it seems like he hates you because he is dead serious all the time he is around you.

Warnings: Swearing, Age gap (I know he is just over forty but god I love him).

You were pacing on the set, the Steve Allen Theater, hoping for someone, anyone, to give you an order so you could pretend you were so good at your job as PA so they won't fired you. But the damage was done, all thanks to your verbal incontinence and now the most amazing job in the world was about to be over.

You had started working on Barry about a year ago, and you have loved every minute of it, the cast was so sweet and down to earth, and make your job so much easier, D'arcy Carden for example was always thankful with you for the simplest things like bringing her coffee and Sarah Golberg even had invited you to lunch after you helped her with a female problem one time. They were so talented and nice that you could not believe it when the production called you back for the third season to keep working there.

But then it was him, the titular character, the fucking genius whose hard work and imagination have created this magnificent show, Bill Hader. Yes you were 28 and he 42, but still you couldn't explain it, there was something about the way he spoke and the way he walked that made you weak on your knees every time, and his laugh, you were sure something had been fixed in your mind after the first time you heard him laugh.

And then it was that first week of shooting from last year, the retro outfit with the suspenders, you couldn't get your eyes off him and you almost made one of the sound guys trip with Henry Winkler. And then the table scene, you were in the back making sure the extras were in their right place and avoiding look at him because he was so perfect on that scene that you certainly will froze just by looking at him.

This little crush was obvious for absolutely everyone, except obviously for Bill, you were sure that Anthony Carrigan even deliberately asked you for anything when he was talking to Bill to see you all clumsy and awkward, not to be a dick, just to push you to talk to him, but you were certain he didn't liked you, with most of the other members of the cast and crew he was always laughing, but in the limited interactions you had he was serious, asked you for a coffee now and then or to make a phone call but just that, and you were beginning to think your absurd infatuation was making him uncomfortable, so you tone it down, made a composed face and limited to do your job.

But now you had blow it. That morning they were filming the behind the episode, for the new season, at some point Barry had one of those daydreams and he imagine himself married to Sally, so there he was all perfect in a black suit sitting in his chair next to Alec Berg talking about the challenges of the new season and how thankful they were to come back.

"So the cast is amazing, the first two episodes of the season are incredible and you have managed to keep the same novelty feeling on the series, why do you think that is?" The guy interviewing them asked.

"Well I think it's mainly thanks to the cast" Alec started "This guys are just amazing, this season we are actually giving Sally a bigger arc and that is very interesting"

"And the crew too" Bill said then "I mean they make us all look good, even when some scenes are a total disaster, the set designers, the wardrobe and all that" they made a pause and you were there to put water bottles in the table between them.

"Bill I have known that you used to be a PA, you think that gives you a better understanding on how hard it is for and aspiring actor as Barry, and does it translate on the writing?" He asked and against your better judgment you stay there to listen.

"Totally, but on a more personal level I try to no be diva with my PAs, recognize they do a hard work and know them all by name, that sort of things"

And then your verbal incontinence kick in, and there, just a few feet away, your mouth was quicker than your brain and still looking at him you spoke, not that loud to be heard by the three of them but enough for him to look straight at you.

"That's bullshit" you instinctively took your hands to your mouth and turn around before you could saw him react and went away pretending you were taking coffee orders. And here you were just waiting for the "we are gonna have to let you go" speech when one of the other PAs called you.

"Hey Y/N Hader says you have to go to his dressing room ASAP" Your friend Danny said and you felt like something heavy fall down inside your stomach.

"Can someone else go?" You answered trying to find an excuse "I have to walk Kirby's dog" you lied.

"No, he said you specifically, something about a mail he asked you to sent?" You gave him a thumbs up and start walking to his dressing room, already feeling you were fired.

"Did you need anything Mr. Hader" You tried to sound professional, and not dead ass scared.

"Oh sure, Y/N, please come in" Great! He did know your name, so apart from impertinent you were an asswhole. And he was still in that stupid black suit that made him look so gorgeous, not like the tshirts and hoodies didn't. "Do you by any chance printed those documents I asked you to send last week? I seem to have deleted them and Alec is going to freak out" He said as nice and kind as always and the weight in your stomach start lightening.

"Yeah sure, I ... well unless someone says is confidential I make copies of everything, an old habit" You said looking for a flash drive in your purse. Since all the crew sing a NDA at the beginning of the production there was nothing wrong with that, unless of course you put it on Twitter if you wanted to go to jail.

"This is not your first work on a set right?" He asked while you started looking for the documents in his laptop.

"Oh no sir. I worked in Dead to me two years ago, but since they are in a break I try my luck here last year, and HBO has better catering" You said concentrated in your work.

"Oh so you met Christina?" He asked genuinely interested, "how old were you then?"

"26, a bit late to start in this business I know, but well I like it more" You answered with a smile and then pointed to the laptop "There they are".

"Thanks so much, truly a life saver" He said and let go a sigh "And you are never too old or too young to start, as long as you enjoy it, and tolerate your bosses... bullshit was it?" He said raising an eyebrow accusatory. You immediately turn white and then red and multiple apologizes started bubbling in your mouth.

"I'm so sorry sir, I really am, I sometimes speak my mind and say all this stupid stuff, I'm sorry" You finally managed to say. He started laughing, you didn't let go the painful irony of the situation, it was the first time you made him laugh, and probably will be the last.

"I'm sorry" He said finally " I couldn't help it, relax. I'm not mad. It was quite funny what you said, I sound like such a duchebag I know everyone by name" He said making an acute voice and you start calming down "But if anything I'm sorry I made you, or any of the crew, feel like you don't matter. All of you are actually great" He said and smiled again to you. "Also lose the Mr Hader, that's bullshit, you can call me Bill".

"Oh no, I couldn't, I'm already so embarrassed by why I did" you started and he looked at you making exaggerated puppy eyes mouthing please, and it was lucky you were so nervous otherwise you would have exploded with laughter "Ok Bill"

"Ok then you are 28, and recently started as a PA, you want to be an actress?" He said, leaning back on his desk.

"Absolutely not, I wanted to be a writer, I was a writer actually in a newspaper, but it didn't feel right and then I realized I wanted to write stories, scripts, and one of my friends was an extra in Stranger things, then she said Netflix needs PAs and well there I went" You said, it was easy talk to him. "Also I don't have the looks for it and hate to se myself in pictures"

"I don't have the looks for it, and here I am" He said opening his arms "But honestly you keep writing and trying, if it's what you want, I mean I get here"

"Well yeah but have seen yourself in that suit?" Your mouth betrayed you again and you look at your feet to hide your face. "Amm I think I have a dog to walk, bye" You said before he could said anything and run away.

The next weeks were difficult, you avoid being alone with Bill but you kept doing your job as good as always, and every once in a while you will notice him looking at you, thinking on how pathetic you must look to him. Until the last day of shooting, they wrapped up the season and it was amazing. The only thing left was to go for a drink at Henry's place and start looking for a new job, thankfully you had finally written a promising draft and your hopes were high.

Maybe that's why you actually choose to drink at the party, and dance with your friends and some members of the cast, and you were a little more talkative than usual, until Anthony who was talking to you about something you were not actually listening leave you alone next to bill.

"So what's next??" He asked in the middle of the loud music, and you didn't quite got it because he signaled the garden and you followed him. "Finally I couldn't hear my thoughts" He said once you were outside.

"It's really loud, but you all deserve it" You said and suddenly realized you were alone. "What where you asking?" You tried to sound casual.

"Oh if you could get me a coffee" he joked and then quickly add "No I was wondering what's next for you after this is over?"

"I actually waiting good news from Amazon, maybe with any luck I'll get a chance with one of my scripts" You said proudly.

"That's amazing" He said with bright happy eyes "I'm so glad for you, so we won't be seeing you in season four?"

"With any luck no" You answered "You'll have to find another impertinent PA to call out your bullshit" You add laughing.

"Oh I'm pretty sure we will find someone, or I can always call you and ask you to do it for free" He said and you could notice how close he was "You know as a concerned friend"

"Sure, I can do that, my contract finalized yesterday day so I guess starting today I'm just your rude friend that says come on man don't be a duchebag" You said letting go a small laugh but he was looking at you completely serious.

"In that case..." He started and took your face between his hands, he was so tall and you felt so tiny next to him but also it was so nice and comfortable being so close, he lean in to kiss you and stop just close enough to your mouth so you will feel his breath, as if he asked for your permission to continue, and instead of saying something that could ruin the moment you close the distance and kiss him.

His lips felt soft and tender over your lips, and he slowly started deepening the kiss pressing you against him from your waist, and you hold on to the front of his jacket trying to keep him closer to you, hoping for this moment to never end, until the absurd necessity of oxygen force you to split.

"I ... I didn't think it would be appropriate to do that when we were working together" He started, smiling like a child. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was avoiding you, Anthony messing up with me by having you around all the time didn't help either"

"Don't worry it's okay, and yeah it would have been super inappropriate but thank god I no longer have a job" you said still trying to make sense of the situation.

"Would you... I mean I love Henry but there's only alcohol in here, do you want to go grab some dinner?" He said pointing the exit.

"I would love that" you answered, overwhelmed by joy and you followed him to the door, happy with all the possibilities the future hold.

#I love bill hader #sue me #bill hader #bill hader imagine #barry berkman #barry hbo #fanfic #fluff #bill hader fanfiction #bill hader x reader #bill hader edit #100 #200 #300 #400

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