#sorry it's 11pm here and i missed talking with you guys
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babbushka · 5 months ago
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Do you have any life updates you’d be comfortable sharing from the Z household? I’m excited to see and hear from you again!
There isn’t any tumblr news that I know of. It’s really dead here these days. I only know of stories put out by you and safarigirlsp this year. If there are other new writers, I don’t know about them yet. I love that you guys are writing big stories and working on more important things than fic. But if I’m being honest, I miss the crazy days of all the fics flying around.
Are there any projects or fics or even movies coming out that you’re excited about? 😘
Hello dear anon! There's been so much happening here from Chez Z, between my day job, rewriting my scripts, crafting, making weekend plans with friends, traveling to see friends and family, it's a whirlwind! But I'm excited to be back now that life has settled down a bit after the wedding, and get back to my favorite pasttime -- writing and sharing fic with you guys.
As for any specific life updates, my wife and I are going camping this weekend (very scary for me because I am fussy and like to be in air conditioning and silk sheets), and I am making travel plans for August! The wife and I are seeing Hozier, and my godson turns 1 so we're traveling to help make it the best first birthday ever.
I am also attempting to enter the duck stamp contest (god willing i actually finish it this year to submit it lol) and we are already planning our halloween costumes because we make them ourselves and we are procrastinators!
Sorry that was long -- @safarigirlsp is truly the GOAT and everything she writes is gold!!! I could spend an entire weekend dedicated to sharing her fics, and you know what? I just might! I've really been hankering to revisit our favorite stories and show our favorite authors some love.
I miss it too, anon. I really do. I know that obviously, things will never be what they once were, and that's just life. But I am a firm believer in making the change you want to see in this world, and the only way to foster a fandom environment is to participate in it!
I have a huge (i'm talking 300k+) fic series in the works for Kylo MF Ren lol. I'm trying to save up some chapters before posting so it can have a semi-regular posting schedule so I don't disappoint anyone. This fic is consuming all my thoughts for fanfic, and I really really hope it's worth it when you guys start reading it!
Sending you all my love, I hope all is well <33
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soobnny · 1 year ago
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request. you falling asleep on skz’s chest and telling them you love them for the first time in your sleep
sorry it took me so long, anon! but here is the request u sent me
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BANG CHAN
— it would be a little late in the night when you finally fall asleep, maybe around 11pm. it’s one of the rare days chan doesn’t allow himself to fall prisoner to another all-nighter (not that it ever bothered you, but chan’s been making effort in spending more time with you in the present instead of in his head)
— he definitely sleeps better with you, how could he not? with your head on his chest and your cheek a little mushed and your lips in a small pout and your ear to his heart. it’s perfect circumstances to sleep and your breathing is such a lullaby to him, and a reminder to ground himself in the present more to enjoy moments like these. you guys don’t get to cuddle often so it’s nice to take everything in when he can
— chan’s just on the verge of falling asleep when you say it and i think he wouldn’t be able to believe it first (talk about an instant alarm ?). he’d just blink down at you for a moment before the sweetest smile plasters on his face, the crinkled eyes until they almost disappear and lip biting type to stop himself from smiling too much
— his heart would just expand tenfold because you really are the person he sees himself with in the future and to hear those three words he’s almost told you a million times before leave your lips is just so reassuring and so beautiful to him; that you love him back, and he can’t wait to tell you in the morning
— when he’s finally processed it, he’d lean down to kiss you .. just every part of your face. but like, he’s so careful about it so you don’t wake up
— he falls asleep maybe half an hour later because all his life his mind has been running and running and running but with you in his arms, and those three words, he feels so safe that he allows his mind to rest. sometimes, it’s enough to just let his heart beat and love
❝ i love you. god, i love you too. i’ve been wanting to say it for so long now. ❞
LEE MINHO
— i think lee know’s def the type to know he’s in love first because it’s such a drastic difference to suddenly consider you in everything when he used to never do it before and he’s not oblivious to his feelings. like he’s the same but also so different ? little gestures of love would build up to his light bulb moment that he is so in love with you and he wants nothing more than to tell you but he doesn’t want to scare you off
— you stay over at his house when it happens. doing schoolwork? cramming for a paper? somewhere along those lines. you never notice the time when you’re with him and suddenly seconds turn into hours and it’s too late for you to commute home and lee know’s mom used their car so he can’t drive you home either. just proposes you stay over bc it’s not like you haven’t done it before
— you two always spend silence in comfort so he doesn’t know you’re asleep at first when you say those three words to him and the way you say it is so faint that he almost misses it. but he doesn’t. he hears it loud and clear
— his heart swells even more when he looks down to see your eyes closed and your mouth slightly parted and his response is just the fondest expression on his face. the most endearing smile and a finger brushing over your features because wow, this is the girl that snuck her way into his heart and unknowingly stole every part of him
— would brush your hair out of your face to see you properly before finally whispering that he loves you too. he’d say the three words the next morning.
— years later, he’d always brag he was the first to tell you that he loved you but you’d never know it was you. it’s a little secret he keeps to himself, and the moment is so intimate that it’s his only
❝ ah, (name). you’re all i’ve ever wanted, did you know? ❞
SEO CHANGBIN
— for changbin, i truly believe there is no moment of sudden realization. he’s well acquainted with love like i think he’s most in touch with that emotion. he feels so deeply and i think he learned most of that from his mother. he wouldn’t be afraid to embarrass himself in the name of love. in fact, he thinks it’s the greatest feeling on earth and it’s something you shouldn’t ever take for granted (i’m sorry, i’m a softie changbin enthusiast)
— everything is steady with him. loves you more day by day by day but he’s always known he’s been in love with you and nothing is ever overwhelming with him like it’s always so safe
— when you say it, he feels his heart beat 98383 times faster because what do you mean the person he’s so in love with loves him back ? like i feel like it just doesn’t cross his mind honestly. like he loves you and that’s that and he’s satisfied with loving you but suddenly his whole world just stops when he hears those words
— changbin would try to keep his position still though, even though he feels like jumping around and spinning you around in his arms but he just doesn’t want to shake you awake from your sleep
— spends the rest of the night thinking about you saying that you love him. there’s nothing more beautiful than the reciprocation of a feeling of love so great
❝ i love you, and that’s always been enough for me, but god does it feel so great to hear it from you. ❞
HWANG HYUNJIN
— he loves like in movies, in books, in art. despite being such a hopeless romantic though, everything is actually so new to him. it’s only with you that he experiences that shortness of breath, that jumble of words, that all-nighter because you can’t stop thinking about the person you love the most, and those damn butterflies
— even the first time you fall asleep on his chest, he freaks out. and he freaks out even after the 9183th time but who can blame him? he may look like such an expert, such a poet, such a man of love, but he’s nothing more than a boy who’s falling in love for the first time
— so, it is the 9184th time you’re asleep on his chest and he has a hand running through your hair when you mumble it in your sleep
— FREEZES. for maybe a good 5 mins? honestly it feels like forever because he really is frozen. and then, that music plays. the music when the love interest shows up on the screen in movies. it plays in his head and his heart is pouncing like crazy and it’s just such a moment to be in love
— pulls you closer when he finally recomposes himself and has the most lovesick smile on his face for maybe an hour before he allows himself to fall asleep because this is all he’s ever dreamed of
❝ you’re someone straight out of my dreams. ❞
HAN JISUNG
— to me, jisung feels a little reckless when he loves. but like, not in a bad way. it’s more like, he’s been careful his whole life and keeping on a guard because he values his silence and his comfort over everything else but god, when he loves? he jumps straight in. he jumps even without the guarantee of anyone catching him. when he loves, there is no doubt, no second guessing. he simply dives head first
— he’s falling again, falling and falling, it’s never ending. even as you fall asleep on his chest one afternoon after watching a movie together
— he JERKS the moment he hears you say it like actually just jerks from his place and accidentally wakes you up from your slumber
— you freak when you wake up thinking that something must’ve happened because he’s staring at you with wide eyes but at the same time, he’s also apologizing for accidentally waking you up. you’re just in the process of asking him about it when he cuts you off by kissing you
— when you kiss him back, there is nothing in his head but “wow, so this must be the feeling of being caught” because he’s finally landed safely in your arms after all that falling
— don’t be mistaken though, he’d fall over and over again because the feeling of having you catch him is so addicting
❝ (name), is this real? ❞
LEE FELIX
— oh felix, the sweetest boy who falls in love in the sweetest way. definitely is the type to see colors brighter and hear music louder and just have all his feelings amplify because of you. stars come together when you look at him and he feels himself revolving around you like he’s just !!! there is no explaining how deep this boy loves. it’ll be like fireworks, like earthquakes, like thunderstorms but it’ll also feel like breathing and the quiet patter of rain. you get every variant of love with him because he’s so adamant on showing you every part of him
— you two cuddle up to each other all the time. he loves skinship, he loves physical touch, he loves holding you and being held and kissing you and hugging you and everything that makes it feel like you’re close to him so he doesn’t question when you fall asleep on his chest
— he’s on his phone, probably taking a picture or video of you when you suddenly say it. there’s just instant tears in his eyes the moment the words leave your mouth. he cries because he’s overwhelmed that you feel the same way about him and he’s scolding himself for being so dramatic over it but also he seriously cannot stop crying like what have you done to him?
— smiles and cries and laughs and leans down to kiss your head over and over and over and you can only ask why his eyes are so red and puffed when you wake up and he wastes no time to tell you that he loves you. drops it immediately. he’s been waiting forever to say it anyway (actually, he’s said it quite a few times but only when he thinks you can’t hear)
— won’t stop saying it anymore like every hour is a good opportunity to tell you that he loves you
❝ i can’t get over how beautiful it is to love and it’s all thanks to you. ❞
KIM SEUNGMIN
— the peak best friends to lovers story. seungmin isn’t the type to throw the feeling of love around. he isn’t the type to fall in love quickly either. he falls in love in moments you spend as friends, but it also kind of takes him such a long time to admit it because he’s always rejected the idea of romance and the gentle emotions that come with it. he’s so used to teasing and tough love that he suddenly can’t function properly when he realizes he’s growing softer because of you
— seungmin holds out from saying ‘i love you’, mostly because it’s hard to rid the stubbornness he’s carried all his life, but don’t get me wrong. there are so many times when he’s almost said it but stopped himself before he could. maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to startle you either. it’s a scary feeling after all, and being his best friend, you know about all his flaws. how could you choose to love him despite it all?
— even so, he is still powerless to love. no one can ever go above the feeling no matter how hard he tries. when you say it in your sleep, he finally lets go of whatever he’s been holding on for so long. he’s ready to willingly admit he’s in love with you and has been for such a long time
— he runs a hand through your hair, just thinking of how comforting it is to be with you, of how you make him smile without even having to be there with him. just the thought of you makes him so happy and it’s infuriating because why does losing to love feel so much like winning instead? is it because it’s you he’s falling in love with?
— would ask you if you’re sure because he’s someone that values sureness, honesty, and just Purpose. he loves on purpose and he wants to make sure you love him by your own choice too. he’s always chosen to take every step closer to you all his life
❝ do you really mean that? please mean it. ❞
YANG JEONGIN
— time always slows when you’re with him. he also gives me romance between friends because like seungmin, he’s not the type to take love lightly. he only ever says the three words in important moments. he never wants to just throw those words around because romance is so important to him, and he’s always been the one to seek for it because it’s so beautiful
— when he meets you, he just thinks, so this is what love is. he understands now why people tell stories about it, why it’s subject to so many songs. he understands when he looks in your eyes
— it’s an afternoon of teasing where your eyes meet and you just double in laughter because whatever the hell you’re talking about is so funny to only the two of you. the boys will never understand the language you’ve crafted for yourselves
— you fall asleep after having played games and ran around and teased each other all afternoon and it’s in his arms while the two of you are watching a movie
— when you say it, he falls silent. he closes his eyes and crosses his fingers and prays he isn’t just dreaming this up, might pinch himself even because it’s just so unreal to him that you love him like he might be the Foolish silly type but when he loves, he really does give it his all
— you wake up at one of the louder scenes of the movies and you’re like ??? why is jeongin staring at you like that so you’re like stop staring .. but he kind of just grins really LOVESICK and you’re like oh my god what is happening. he’s looking at you different and his eyes are softer
— with a yank of your shirt, he kisses you and mumbles how much he loves you against your lips
❝ i love you. and i will choose to love you everytime. ❞
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badomensgoodomens · 1 month ago
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RIFFS AND REGRETS - NOAH SEBASTIAN
oc name used: arabella
warnings: mention of sex?? throwing up??
unedited btw
summary: lol u dont get one keep reading.
The pounding on the bus door was enough to drag my sorry ass out of bed. I should NOT have drank that much. “Bella!!!” the pounding was repetitive. “Sorry! Sorry! Geez. i didn't even have a bra on.” My drummer, leo, stood infront of me with the hangover holy grail. coffee. 
I rub my face, god i slept in my makeup. He hands me an iced latte, in which i accept gratefully. We were currently parked in the bus sector of good things festival, approximately two days before it kicked off. I knew he was here, engraved into the back of my fucking skull. I just wonder if they were still together. 
I was talking about noah of course, the topic of him having haunted my dreams the past 4 years. Silhouettes of Silence (SOS) kicked off after we stopped being friends, which im sure  was a real slap in the face for him. I do briefly remember the events leading up to the pure distaste and hurt i feel towards the man, but i could honestly go on forever. 
I was snapped out of thought as leo repeatedly snapped in front of my face. “Get your shit together you haven’t even seen him yet” he says, raising an eyebrow at me. “Wheres lucy and gene?” i ask, glancing around the poorly furnished bus. “Probably hooking up somewhere." “I ought to fire those two one of these days.” 
With a sigh, i get up from my position on the leather couch. “Cmon, we gotta go set up our merch tent.” much to my absolute dismay, we were opposite none other than the bad omens merch tent. I just avoid eye contact. I loiter near pierce the veils tent, danielle had babysat me my entire childhood so we were close. 
“Silhouettes of silence, huh?” i heard a voice behind me. I could recognise that little shit anywhere. “Folio!!” i turn on my heels, running towards him. I hug him tightly, even after all this time he still smells and feels the same. “Ive missed you, man.” he says, pulling away. I shrug awkwardly, “hah… sorry. Kind of skipped town after everything went down. Im proud of you, you look well.” i say, shifting awkwardly on my feet. “Same to you bella, you look better.” he says with that stupid smile. “We should hang out some time.” i say, smiling at him. “Mhm, bring back our thrifting adventures.’ he says, glancing back to his tent. “Hey i gotta go, catch you later yeah?” he says, disappearing before i can even say anything. 
“That was an absolute disaster.” i gesture to danielle, who had appeared next to me. “Eh, id say it wasn’t too bad. If the rest of em are like that, this’ll be a breeze for you.” she responds. “Just wish it wasn’t like this.” i say. She hums, before stepping back to return to her organising. I take a deep breath, it was day one and i was already exhausted. I manage to leg it back to the bus without another unnecessary encounter with an omen boy, but at what cost. 
I step inside the dark tour bus to be met with the sound of moans and skin slapping. 
Oh my god. 
“Abstinence in the tour bus they said. Itll be fun being in a band they said” 
—--------------------------
Another day of rehearsals and setting up, pre show day nerves hitting me hard. I go for a walk after the suns set, just minding my own business. It was late, and quiet. Moments like this really kept me alive. My bassist and guitarist were immature, i feel like im going no where with my life, im still caught up on a GUY- oh god theres somebody behind me. 
“You look like shit.” 
“Oh my fucking GOD jolly you scared the shit out of me you creep.” i hiss, turning around. He just laughs, walking alongside me. “Its like 11pm, why are you out here walking alone?” he asks. “Thinking.” i mutter, looking down at my feet. “Fuck. i cannot see.” he mumbles, turning his phone flash on. 
We do a lap of the festival grounds, just catching up a bit. “You look different.” jolly says abruptly. I stop walking, now confused. “Sorry?” “its just.. I dont know. Youve lost weight, dyed your hair, started a band, covered yourself in tattoos its just.. Weird. You definitely look more.. You.” he says. I ponder for a moment. “Geez youre observant.” 
We finish our lap off, before going our separate ways to our buses. “Soo… seen him yet? Leo asks, sprawled out on a leather couch with some chips. “No… not yet atleast. But i'm gradually ticking off his bandmates.” i respond, sitting down next to him to steal a chip. “They were your friends too, bella.” he says, his voice softening on me. “Dont get all sappy on me” i say, shoving him. He laughs.
—--------------------------------------------
Showtime. 
I  could actually throw up. 
I stand infront of the shitty bathroom mirror, some comfy flares and a hoodie on for now. I take deep breaths before warming up my voice.
Everyone gathers for soundcheck. 
“Hi yes im in my slippers, uhhh someone give me a song to sing.” 
“Floral and fading!!!” 
“My voice doesn’t go thaaaat high!!” 
Its about 3pm now, ive already pregamed some drinks and some artists have even started. Leo is curling my hair, while i cake on some makeup. “Im so not ready for this.” i say, setting my face. “You’ll do perfectly fine, warm your voice up.” he says, poking my side. 
I stand backstage, cracking my knuckles. Something I usually do out of pure fear. I rock on the balls of my feet, zoning the fuck out. “You got this.” Lucy says, standing in front of me. I just nod, anxiety swirling in my stomach. “You’re on in 10.” the stage manager says, walking behind me. I sigh, rubbing my face. “Im gonna shit myself” i choke out a laugh. 
I finally get my shit together and step out onto the main stage. Our song ‘urban legends’ blares through the plethora of speakers, my stage presence is bipolar compared to me naturally. I’m confident on stage, not in real life. 
Passion seeps through my voice as i perform our debut album, ‘echoes of silence’ the crowd is ecstatic, feeling the vibe. I transition into our newer songs, whom have grown popular on tiktok. Its exhausting really, but i love the adrenaline. 
As our set closes, i stalk past all the sea of backstage members, catching the eye of the one man id been trying to avoid. I don’t have time to care though, i can hear leo walking behind me, trying to get my attention. Fuck. i need a bucket. 
I run into the backstage bathrooms, throwing up. Gene and lucy hold my hair back. My ears are ringing and i feel queasy.
The last thing i hear before i black out is
“Is she okay?”
_____________________________
credits to whoever came up with 'abstinence in the tour bus' i read it somewhere and think of it religiously lol.
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horanghaeluvsinniehae · 10 months ago
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PRE-DEBUT STRAY KIDS X 9TH GN!MEMBER PT.3
Pairing: stray kids x gn!member
Disclaimer: implying that reader is feeling like a burden (big author’s note at the end I’m sorry) (tell me if i missed anything please!)
Previous/\next
That afternoon all of you stayed in the dorm. The boys got permission from their manager to spend this afternoon getting to know you and warm up to each other. You were all happy to have half a day off.
In the dorms you ate what Minho had prepared and after that, everyone gathered in the living room on the sofas. Everybody got comfortable and got ready to relax.
“Jeonginah! How do you feel about not being our maknae anymore?” Hyunjin asked the ex-youngest while playfully wiping his fake tears. Everyone laughed at that and Minho started wiping his tears as well, while leaning into Jisung’s side.
“Oh Hyunjin hyung, you can’t even imagine how it pains me to know that I’m not the youngest anymore.” Jeongin played along too. “Although it hurts me, I have to accept my fate.” He took a tissue and dabbed it under his eyes. “Now that we have officially upgraded Ayenah from maknae to hyung, what do you guys want to do now?” Chan asked amused.
Everyone started to talk at the same time, throwing their suggestions into the air, even though the leader couldn’t understand any of them.
By the time all of you had agreed on what to watch it got dark, meaning it was past 6pm…even though none of you realised, the last two hours were spent bickering over some films. In the end you’ve agreed on Spider-man: homecoming. Minho got everyone snacks and some drinks too. The film started and you were naive enough to think they would be quiet while watching a movie…They were commenting on everything that happened and you couldn’t decide if you wanted to concentrate on the film or on theories, they were actually good!
By the time the film was over, everyone was asleep. Though you woke up after a while, around 11pm. You gathered your stuff quietly, and left the dorm. The walk to your apartment was long but peaceful and you enjoyed the fresh air.
After you got back, you sleepily got ready for bed and while you were thinking about everything that happened today, you fell into a deep sleep.
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You felt bad leaving them without saying anything, but they were sleeping so well you didn’t want to disturb them. You know very well how much these sleeps can help while you’re a trainee and you didn’t want to take that away from any of them because of some unimportant questions…
After you texted Chan that you’ll be at the company in 20 minutes, you quickly got ready and packed up the stuff you need for today. You checked if you had your phone, earbuds, charger and some energy bars with you to get you through the day and when you had everything, you took a deep breath and stepped out of the apartment. On your way to start your first day officially, as a member of Stray Kids.
A/n: hi guys…here’s an update after like two weeks?? I’m really sorry for disappearing and even if it doesn’t matter to you guys if I’m here or no, i want to apologise again. I hope that i can get back to writing again a won’t have major writers block like this again.:( i hope this was enjoyable and wasn’t too shitty…please tell me your thoughts on it and if you read this all thank you for your time!<3
Please take care of yourselves and be safe🫂❤️‍🩹
Taglist: @justwonder113 (write in comments/asks if you want to be added/removed)
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4townie · 1 year ago
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Road to 4☆TOWN
It was nearly 11pm. The boys sat around the tour bus impatiently, Taeyoung asleep in T’s lap.
“Courtney,” Robaire whined, “are we there yet?”
Courtney sighed. “We should be at the hotel in another ten or fifteen minutes.”
T, Z, and Robaire all groaned.
“We’ve been sitting here for hours.” T complained. “I can’t sit still much longer.”
“And my neck can’t take sleeping on this window much longer.” Z rubbed his neck.
Courtney glared at them. “Why can’t you just be quiet like Jesse? He’s behaving?”
“He’s sulking.” Robaire glanced at Jesse, who was staring out the window.
Jesse let out a melancholy sigh.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter.” Courtney rolled her eyes. “Right now, Jesse is my favorite because he’s not—”
“SELINA!” Jesse ejected out of his seat when his phone started ringing.
Taeyoung jumped awake. “Ugh, I was having the best nap.”
“Great, now you woke the cat.” T shook his head.
“Sorry, guys.” Jesse maneuvered out of the seat row. “The love of my life is calling me, I’ll be right back.” He headed into the bus bathroom and shut the door.
The bus fell silent.
“So,” Taeyoung sat up, “are we almost there?”
Courtney groaned loudly.
“Hey, babe.” Jesse said as he picked up the phone. “How are you and Marcel holding up?”
“Well, uh…we’re interesting.” Selina said awkwardly. “I mean, Marcel’s fine. He misses you like crazy, but—”
“Awwww, I miss him too.” Jesse smiled. “I miss you both a lot. I know it’s past his bedtime, but is he still up? I wanna talk to him.”
“Jesse, we need to talk.” Selina got his attention. “And I know your bottom lip is quivering right now. Calm down, I’m not breaking up with you.”
Jesse sighed with relief. “Lina, you gotta stop opening conversations like that, especially if it’s not gonna be serious.”
“This is pretty serious actually.” Selina said quietly. “Remember the night before you left for the tour?”
“You mean when you dragged me off the couch and made me finish packing?” Jesse furrowed his brow. “I told you I wasn’t sleeping, I was just resting my eyes. I was gonna get up in a second.”
“Actually,” Selina’s voice got awkwardly high pitched, “I was talking about what happened after that.”
Jesse froze. “Why are you bringing that up?”
“Because…I’m pregnant.” Selina finally said. “Surprise.”
Jesse stared at the wall in shock, completely silent.
“Oh, not again.” Selina groaned. “Baby, I need you to actually respond so I know you didn’t pass out or something.”
“Are you sure though?” Jesse narrowed his eyes. “I mean, maybe you’re late because you’re stressed about being alone with Marcel for two months.”
“Honey, I went to the doctor’s office today.” Selina crossed her arms. “The ultrasounds confirmed it.”
Jesse got quiet again. “Okay, well I’m gonna tuck and roll off this bus, walk back home, and—”
“No, babe, it’s totally fine.” Selina stopped him. “You’re only gonna be gone for a little while longer at this point.”
“It’s only been, like, three weeks. I’m not gonna be back until two days before Marcel’s birthday.” Jesse reminded her. “And the tour isn’t as important as being there for you. I mean, you’re gonna need someone to watch Marcel while you’re hunched over the toilet.”
“Jes, it’s really gonna be fine.” Selina calmed him down. “I’m gonna call Daunte in the morning to let him know, plus my dad’s retired now so he should be able to help until you’re back. All you’re really missing is the part of the pregnancy where I don’t want you near me.”
“But even during that phase, you needed to sit on my lap while I told you how pretty you are.” Jesse whined. “I just wanna go home and be with you guys.”
“Five more weeks.” Selina sighed. “Just five more weeks and we’ll be together again.”
“It’s gonna be the longest few weeks ever.” Jesse ran a hand through his hair. “Well, other than the first six weeks after Marcel was born. That was torture.”
Selina giggled. “Well, I’m gonna have to go now, babe. I just smelled what the neighbors are cooking and I’m probably gonna be sick.”
“Awww, that’s my pregnant wifey.” Jesse said with a giddy grin. “Go on, go throw up. Love you lots.”
“Yeah, yeah, love you, too. Bye.” She hung up quickly.
Jesse quietly smiled to himself. “I hate it here.”
Act II
Late 1998–First (American Only) Tour
Robaire—20 going on 21 in ‘99
Jesse—22 going on 23 in ‘99
Aaron Z—20 going on 21 in ‘99
Aaron T—19 going on 20 in ‘99
Taeyoung—15 going on 16 in 2 months
———
Aaaaand we’re back! Did you miss me😁
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bluebird990 · 2 years ago
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YES Wolf waiting jn front of his sisters cram school: oppa! What are you doing here??
You've literally awakened something in me with big bro wolf, lots of incoherent rambling ahead! the type that gets up to get his sister ice cream from the convenience store at 11pm
Imagine big bro wolf tying his little sister's hair in pigtails when she was in elementary school 🥺
Him buying things for her all the time (especially when she was younger) like getting her teddys to add to her collection to the point her bed was full of plushies from corner to corner when she was 7 ( she still keeps them but wolf doesn't know cause she doesn't let him come in her room)
His little sister having a nightmare and him staying with her while she falls asleep
If he ever hears her classmates badmouthing her oh boy, eg if she played a sport and someone was trash talking about her skills, that person is DEAD
Would come to every practise match tho :')
OMG I can actually see him being part of the pto and getting her class get all the funding for field trips and stuff cause he's like damn supportive ya know?
Still insists on zipping up her jacket for her and is always nagging her for not dressing warm enough for the weather
Helps with her homework and tells her to work hard (lol hypocrite)
But she really loves her brother too. She kinda knows about his smoking habits and suspects he's up to things that he'd rather she not know about and she always pretends to be none the wiser. She always buys him a birthday present even though he says she doesn't have to. She's never missed a birthday to date. He always celebrates her birthday and is always the first to wish her hbd at midnight, whether in person or over text. When she goes to bed early, the first text she sees when she wakes up is: happy birthday:) from wolf. She works hard in school because she knows he gets happy when he sees her good scores or when her teachers tell him she's been doing well and gets along with her classmates (he goes to her parent teacher conferences) she works hard because she knows how much he loves her and takes care of her and thinks it's the least she can do.
Makes sure she eats a proper breakfast and learned how to make some things when she was younger.
It's always really just been the two of them. He comes to all her school events where their parents would be, took care of her injuries when she fell of the monkey bars at the park, and picked her up from elementary school everyday.
I'm sorry that was long I'm promise I'm done lol
-💫
This is all soo good anon!!😭 I 100% agree with all of this!! Wolfie with his sister would be like a completely different person. People who ever see this side of him are like?? Is this really wolf keum?? The same guy?? Are my eyes deceiving me??
P.s. hwangmo is the only one who gets to see this side of him :D
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thatsmeif · 2 years ago
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Chapter one 
My friend just got cheated on by her boyfriend, Thomas. Now she's preparing to murder him, in a way.
 -I don't know what I'm going to do, she said between sobs.
-Okay, he cheated on you, but with who ? Like, do you know the girl ?
-IT'S SARAH ! she abruptly yelled at me.
Sarah is her best friend. She met her in kindergarten and since then, they have stayed friends for what seems like decades. She's devastated by the news, plus, it was at Chris's party at his place.
-Can't you talk to Chris to know how they got there ? It was at his place after all, he should know.
-He's my ex, we're not in a relationship anymore.
-Yeah, but, you guys are still quite close.
-No, I won't talk to him.
-Please ? I'm really desperate about it, Thomas and I were together forever and I still can't understand why he did this. Especially when he knew that she's my best friend. She responded with teary eyes.
-I- I… I'll try. But I can't promise anything.
-You know that I love you ?
-I love you too, Sofia.
Sunday, 11pm, Los Angeles
Love,
Love.
What is love ?
What's the point in believing in love when your closest friend and yourself got destroyed by it?
The cigarette between my fingers is ready to destroy my damaged poor lungs. Trying to help me get all the accumulated stress out of my burning body. To be honest, I want to believe in it. But, I still need advice from someone comforting. Someone that I feel safe with. I went to Sienna's contact and pressed call, the ringing loud in my eardrums.
-Hey, how are you ?
-I'm good, but you ? Your voice sounds a bit tired.
-To be honest, I really need to relieve stress, and someone to talk to.
-Wanna come to the beach ? There's a chill party out there. Maybe a glass or two can help you loosen up ? And maybe finally find someone else?
-That sounds good, why not ?
-You can come anytime, you're always welcomed.
-I'll be there in a bit, just… let me just put on a decent outfit.
I ended the call and got dressed. The roaring of my motorcycle feels good and the salty breeze feels refreshing. I stopped the engine and walked on the soft sand, looking for Sienna's soft green eyes. Instead, I recalled what she told me earlier, and saw a cute guy sitting by the bar.
I missed the way I could feel the sand on my feet.
In fact, I missed everything that’ll help me forget about him. So I went to see that guy, because, why not?
I casually talked with him, enjoyed the sea breeze and even laughed a bit, something I didn’t do in months, maybe ? We got to know each other. He likes music and is in a band. He likes soft rock and is a hopeless romantic. He’s really sweet and has a good sense of fashion, that’s important because some guys just don’t know how to dress at all.
Bzz… Bzz…
The constant ringing of my phone in my pocket annoys me, but I still check who’s calling.
Christopher is calling…
-Hello ?
-Hannah ?
-Ash ?
-Yeah it’s me.
-Can you come home please? H-he’s on the floor…
-WHAT ? WHO ? HOW ?
-Chris ! I-I have no idea what happened i was in my room studying then I heard a loud thud and I freaked out and called you I’m so sorry I know you guys aren’t  together anymore-
-Hannah !
-Yes !?
-Stop apologizing, I’ll be here in a minute. 
-Thank you so much…
I rushed back to my motorcycle and started driving so fast without knowing. I didn’t even think about what directions I’m taking because deep inside of me, I knew that this was the way to dangerous memories. Where this city of lights went to sleep.
I knocked abruptly on the door, waiting for Hannah to open it for me. With shaky hands, she turned the doorknob, letting me in. While my eyes were searching for someone’s ebony hair, they fell on a picture of us, hanging on the wall, when we were kids. Some tears pricked my eyes but I pushed them away, running to the kitchen only to find his body on the floor.
As I checked his pulse, Hannah came over only to see the hidden tears staining my face.
-You still love him, don’t you?
-I-I don’t know, I managed to get out of my dry mouth with a shaky voice.
-Don’t lie to me, he can’t hear us.
-I do, I miss him, you, everything.
-I miss you too big sis’.
-I’m really sorry.
-Don’t be.
That’s when Chris realized that he missed Ashley too.
He felt like he was breathing again and felt something on the side of his neck. His eyes cracked open, only to be met with dark brown pupils staring at him with worry. The beating of his heart fastened, same as his pulse, then everything went black again.
He feels like this relationship is going to turn into hell.
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harlowsbby · 3 years ago
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His girl
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Everyone knew you were Jack’s girl. So that would mean you’re off limits but some guys just don’t seem to understand that.
You and Jack and a few of your friends decided to go out to the club it was around 11pm when you guys got there. You had your arms wrapped around Jack’s arm while he talked to some of his friends. You weren’t one to really socialize you’d rather stay glued to Jack’s side and just observe everyone and everything. Jack didn’t mind because he adored you and he’d rather keep you close.
Neelam waved you over to where she and a few other girls on Jack’s team were at and you waved back. Jack noticed you waving and smiled over to Neelam and looked down at you.
“Mamas why don’t you go sit with Neelam and them.” Jack said smiling down at you while you looked up to him through your eyelashes not really feeling like leaving his side but you decided to anyways because you loved Neelam and missed her.
You nodded and poked out your lips to Jack signaling you wanted a kiss he chucked and pecked your lips as you turned to walk away he slapped you on the ass causing you to turn around and glare at him he just smirked and went back to talking to Urban and Druski.
Once you got to Neelam’s booth you guys took selfies and talking about all the latest gossip with the other girls.
After a few shots in you started feeling tipsy but you could still obviously function you were looking down at your phone scrolling through Instagram when you noticed a presence behind you. You looked up and noticed some guy looking at you. He had the evilest grin on his face which made you cringe and honestly scared you. You watched as he licked his lips looking you up and down as if you were his pray.
He made his way towards you but what he didn’t notice was Jack was watching but before Jack went ahead and dragged the guy away from you he wanted to see what he was going to do.
“Well hello pretty lady what’s a lady like you sitting alone all by herself.” He said. Did he not see Neelam right next to you ? This guy was trying to hard.
“Uh that’s non of your business so if you could leave.” Neelam stated looking at the man in disgust.
“I wasn’t talking to you doll face.” He said glaring at Neelam
“ I was talking to this beautiful girl right here.” The man reached his hand out and stroked your face causing you to clinch and grab onto Neelam’s hand tightly from under the booth.
“How about we go for a dance baby doll ?” He stated pulling on you roughly which caused you to whimper and look at Neelam in fear. She knew she should’ve stopped him but once she saw Jack walking over she knew all hell was gonna freeze over.
“Hey dawg.” Jack stated tapping him on the shoulder the guy looked behind him and noticed Jack. Mind you he needed to look up because Jack towered over him.
“Get your hands off my girl before we have serious issues.” Jack stated glaring down at the man. The man’s eyes widened in fear not wanting to mess with Jack he nodded quickly and tried to walk away but Jack grabbed him by the back of his shirt.
“Apologize to my girl first.” Jack said grunting as he dragged the man by his shirt closer to you.
“I’m sorry I really am sorry.” He squeaked out you and Neelam stiffed a laugh because just not even 5 minutes ago the guy was acting all tough.
Once Jack let the guy go he looked at you frowning slightly.
“I’m sorry mamas I shouldn’t have let you leave my side.” He said feeling guilty.
“It’s okay Jack you saved me from that creep over there so it doesn’t matter.” You stated standing up and pulling him in for a kiss which he returned.
You turned and pulled Neelam along with you and you guys all danced and drank the night away.
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emmlovesmarvel · 2 years ago
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Chapter 7 - Upward & Onward
A/N
So I actually wanted to continue this story because I love WandaNat so much and I miss writing about them so here we are. Hope you guys are okay with me continuing it. Also feel free to interact with me about this story or about anything else! I am really enjoying the writing community and I like to think I’m fun to talk to. Anyways…enjoy this chapter! More to come!
Max POV
I’ve stayed in my room for the past 48 hours just trying to process all that’s happened. I haven’t had much of an appetite to keep meals down except for soup or small sandwiches but I go out of my room to hydrate and snack occasionally. And to also let moms know I am alive but not well. I told them I love them and am so thankful for them, but I just need time by myself to process and isolate a bit. I’m not sure why, but it always helps me. They’ve been so understanding and kind to me which I can never thank them enough for.
I’ve cleaned my room and rearranged it because who doesn’t enjoy rearranging their room at 11pm randomly? I also decided to take charge of my space and make it safe and comfortable for me. Jay had always had a say in what I wore, how my room looked like, what I ate, and when I exercised. Rearranging and cleaning was so liberating and freeing because I got rid of everything and anything that had him tied to it. I came across a photo booth strip when Jay and I were first together. We were at our school’s Sadie Hawkins dance and they had a bunch of cute props and funny clothes to dress in. He was kissing my cheek while I am stupidly laughing. I don’t realize I’m crying until I taste the warm salty liquid that had flowed down onto my lips. Did I make a mistake? Maybe he really loved me.
No. He loved having control. Somehow he manipulated me into giving up control. How could I be so stupid and not see it? Natasha Romanoff raised me for Christ’s sake. I am good at reading people and their intentions. Was I that desperate to be with someone romantically? Or did I really just fall in love with an abuser? How did he knock my walls down and build new ones to trap us in so no one could break through them? He made me so closed off to who I loved most.
Yet they always loved and accepted me. No matter how broken, angry, sad or mean I was. They continued to be what they promised they would always be. My loving mothers. I’ve never had to worry about not having a father or fatherly influence because Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff are the best of both worlds. They made an unstoppable and all powerful team. And they loved each other and me with everything they have. Why didn’t I ask for help sooner? I was breaking them. They had to watch the thing they love most, go through what I went through. I am so underserving of their love and protection yet they give it to me freely and in never ending amounts.
I can almost feel mama’s arms around me, holding me in our safe space. Wait. These arms are real. She’s holding me on the floor of my room. Shit. She must’ve felt me crying or mom must’ve heard me. I didn’t mean to wake them.
“Shh…shh baby, you’re okay. I’m right here. Let it out. You’re not alone, Max. We are always right here.” Mama says, placing her hand on my chest.
“S-sorry. I didn’t mean to w-wake you.” I sob.
“No, my love don’t apologize. It’s okay. I’m glad I could be here. I’ve missed you, my heart.” I can feel her smiling on that last part.
“I’ve missed you too. More than you could ever know, actually.” I watery laugh.
“I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s much more…Max.” She says to me as we make eye contact.
She smiles through her tear-filled green eyes. She kisses my forehead and I close my eyes, remembering what this feels like. I’m instantly warmed to my core and I feel my shoulders, then my jaw, and finally my abdomen completely relax. How does her touch just do that? Mama is always warm and soft. She is strong like mom and like Uncle Pietro was, but her demeanor and energy is always soft. She knows exactly how to make me feel calm and safe with a simple hug or kiss and I think that is truly her biggest superpower.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks resting her chin atop my head and stroking my hair and back.
“I just feel so stupid. And then I get angry at how stupid I was. And then I get sad at how I treated you and mom.” I reply dryly, finally composing myself.
“Your mind is putting you through the most vicious cycle I think, our minds can ever go through. All of these feelings are valid and they make complete sense. But once your mind finally relieves you of these feelings and thoughts, you will see what mom and I see. There’s no way you could’ve predicted Jay would be the person he is. There’s just no way. And I have extremely powerful empathetic powers and I didn’t even see it until after a while of you being together. And your mom being the scarily good spy she is, didn’t see it until I mentioned it to her. Even Auntie Lena didn’t see it.
I know you might think this is useless right now, but Max this is in no way your fault. This is all on him. You are not stupid for falling in love with someone or wanting to help them better themselves. You are the best kind of person because you have that quality.” She finishes and kisses my forehead.
“How do you do that?” I ask.
“Do what?” She tilts my head up to look at her.
“Know exactly what to say, know how to make me feel better with one touch, are perfectly empathetic..” I trail off.
“I didn’t use to know how. Your mom helped me in all of these ways. And your uncle Vision. And…you. I learn from you every day. I just have more practice putting what I’ve learned into action. Which by the way, you are way more ahead of where I was at your age. I was a closed off, moody, emo, and sad teenager. Which I guess encompasses the teenager lifestyle. But you Max, have always been resilient, strong, happy, helpful and thoughtful. You will get through this, my love. Take all the time you need. Grieving can’t be planned or controlled. Let it come and go. When it comes, you can come to me or mom. Or if you need to just isolate, do that. We just don’t want you hurting yourself. We would never judge, but we just want you to be safe. I love you so much, my heart.” She hugs me tighter as I reflect on what she said.
We stay there for a while until I start getting tired. Mama stands up and takes my hand, pulling me along with her. We reach her room and climb into their bed. Mom instinctively pulls me into her, placing a kiss on my head. I hug her back with as much ferocity and we eventually fall asleep.
Wanda POV (1 night before her conversation with Max)
Max hasn’t come out of her room since we all went to bed the morning after she told us everything with her nightmare. I know this will take her some time to process and try to understand what will happen now. I just can’t help but worry for her. I can feel her loneliness and sadness. Nat is helping me separate what are my emotions and what are Max’s.
“I just worry about her.” I say crying into Nat’s shoulder.
“I do too. We have to respect her wants though. Especially now. She needs to make sure she knows she isn’t controlled here like she was with him. By the way, I called Fury this morning and he says that he can have Jay locked up in a matter of days. The pictures I sent him of Max’s bruises and other scars were enough to make him sick. It’s Yelena we have to keep an eye on so Jay doesn’t mysteriously go missing.” She finishes making me chuckle.
“It’s so hard to feel what she’s feeling Nat. I’m glad I understand but I just hurt so much for her.” I defeatedly express.
“I wish we could take it all away from her.” Nat says kissing my forehead and pulling me into her again.
We suddenly hear her door creak open and light footsteps following it. Max comes out wearing sleep shorts, a tank top and a messy bun. She looks so cute but that thought is quickly replaced when I see the bruises on her upper arm and the one around her neck. I try to swallow my obvious expression of worry and protectiveness when I see her look up with tired eyes.
“I’m alive. I’m just getting some water and fruit. I love you guys. Thanks for respecting my space. I don’t know when I’ll be ready, but I promise it won’t be like this forever.” She says hugging Nat and then me. I’m glad she’s eating something because she hasn’t been eating a ton lately. This is evident when I can still feel every bone in her upper body which makes me hold her tighter. I just want to take all this away from her. She pulls away and smiles.
“We love you too, our heart. What fruit do you want?” Nat asks sweetly.
“Mandarin oranges and grapes?” Max asks.
“Coming right up.”
She takes her water bottle and fruit back to her room and shuts the door. Nat and I look at each other with so much love and sadness at the same time.
We both sit down on the couch and finish out the night with some Criminal Minds.
It’s now the next evening and Nat and I are getting ready for bed. We saw Max only once today. She had changed her clothes and was freshly showered. I know it gets harder for her to do her basic hygiene routine when she is depressed and we were expecting to have to help her but I’m proud she’s doing it on her own. She grabbed some more water and a small sandwich I made her earlier.
We were finally in bed and I was on the cusp of sleep when my chest started to burn and I felt my core tightening. This came out of nowhere. Then I heard soft muffles from Max’s room. She’s crying. This time it’s really bad. There are so many thoughts that are so loud. She is having a hard time breathing. I get out of bed and stand in front of her door assessing if I should enter or not. I follow my gut and enter her room and see her on the floor holding a photo strip. Her room looks completely different. I love it. She must’ve not heard me walk in and sit down behind her.
I pull her small frame into me and gently hold her. I rock us back and forth a bit until she understands what’s happening.
I feel her trying to breathe in more air and I shush her. I start rubbing circles on her back and kissing her head. I’ve missed her so much. She’s been in our house this whole time but I’ve barely seen her. I didn’t realize how much I missed hugging her. She fits so perfectly in my arms and I relish in it.
Once we are silent and content on the floor after her talking about her feelings, I stand up. I pull her hand up with me and lead us into our bedroom. Nat wakes up slightly when Max lays down. She pulls her into a hug and kisses her head. I rub her arm up and down until we all fall asleep. I can feel a glimmer of hope. It’s my own feeling, but Max’s too. She will get through this.
Nat POV
I wake up to the small but mighty snores from Max. She looks like she’s actually getting some good sleep. These past days have been so rough for her. I’m glad Fury is taking care of Jay so we can focus on Max’s healing. We need to help her eat some more and get on a good sleep schedule. Wanda is a bit better at helping regulate emotions in the house where it’s easier for me to manage everyone’s physical health. We make a good team for this reason. Although sometimes Wanda is reminding me to eat lunch as I work through paperwork and I reassure Wanda that Max will get through this and that she needs to prioritize her own emotions so she doesn’t spiral.
I get up and grab my phone. I step into the living room and call Yelena.
“Hey Nat. Everything okay?” Yelena asks as she picks up.
“Hey. Yeah everything’s looking up. Max and Wanda had a heart to heart last night which seemed to help them both.”
“Well that’s good to hear. How is Fury with arresting Jay?”
“They’re still processing the evidence photos. After that’s through, they’ll pick him up. Listen Lena, I know you want to kill him, get in line, but I think Max would benefit from some Auntie time. I think she would open up to you a bit more and maybe start realizing this isn’t her fault. She also needs some help and encouragement with eating.”
“I just booked my flight, I’ll be there in 2 days. I’m glad Fury is on it. That son of a bitch doesn’t deserve to see another ray of sunlight.”
“You have that right. Maybe while you’re here, you could-.”
“No, Nat. I can’t. I messed up bad with Kate. I need to give her some time.”
“Yelena, come on it’s been months. She still stops by here checking in on Max and us. I can tell she misses you. You just need to make the first move. Just tell me you’ll think about it.”
“…Fine. I’ll think about it. Happy? I’ll see you soon. Love you, Natasha.”
“I love you too, Lena.”
I start preparing breakfast when I hear light footsteps walking towards the kitchen. Max. I look up to see her cute face still trying to wake up.
I turn to face her completely and she wraps her arms around me and leans her head on my shoulder. I hold her back tightly and trace my fingers up and down her back. I’ve missed her.
“Did you sleep well?” I ask pulling away a bit.
“Yes. I always sleep good being in your arms.” She smiles back.
“Well I am glad to be of service. I love what you did with your room. You can use our card to buy some more stuff you want.” I tell her and I feel her nod.
“Also, I just got off with Auntie Lena and she lands here Wednesday night.”
“Really?! Ah! I’m so excited! Maybe she will finally talk to Kate.” She laughs sitting down on the barstool.
“Oh trust me I said the same thing. She says she’ll think about it.” We both laugh.
I see Wanda come out yawning and smiling at us. She hugs me and kisses me sweetly before going behind Max and hugging her. She sits down next to her and I hand them both coffee. We finish up eating our breakfast and Max goes to take a shower.
“I’m glad to hear Lena is coming. That’ll be good for Max.” Wanda says helping me clean the dishes.
“That’s what I was thinking as well. They have always been two peas in a pod. It’ll be good for her to have someone else to open up to…” “What happened last night?” I ask looking up from the sink into Wanda’s eyes.
“She found an old photo of her and Jay at the Sadie Hawkins dance last year and she got overwhelmed and cried. I just couldn’t take her being in there all alone feeling like she is alone. I held her and let her know that her mind is playing through a vicious thought cycle and she will eventually break out of it. She feels stupid for even falling in love with him in the first place.” She says.
“I wish she could see it’s not her fault. One day she will, but I just wish our baby wasn’t so broken right now. She’s worthy of so much.” I say leaning into Wanda.
“She’ll see that soon, my love. She will. We just have to be there to catch her when she falls into that mindset now and again. Last night as we were falling asleep, I felt this pang of hope in my core. It was so strong. I realized it’s because she was feeling that same pang, as well as you and me.” She says kissing my hairline.
“I definitely felt that when you guys came back to bed. I’m glad she was feeling it. That’s what really counts.” I reply.
We finish up cleaning the kitchen and the rest of the house. Max joined us outside in Wanda’s garden. She kept eating all the blackberries and Wanda was chasing her around trying to get the last one out of her mouth.
“Hey! That was the last ripe one! Come here and give it to me!” Wanda screams chasing Max.
“I can’t! They’re too good mama. I have to eat this last one!” She says with her mouth full of berries, holding the last one.
Wanda eventually catches up with her and lifts her in the air making Max squeal and drop the berry onto the grass.
“AHA!” Wanda yells, taking it and putting into her mouth. Her eyes go wide as she enjoys the taste of the last ripe berry.
“That’s okay, I didn’t want any blackberries.” I say looking at them both with my eyebrow cocked.
They look at me and innocently smile at the same time revealing their purple teeth making me chuckle.
“Sorry mom. Hehe. Uh there’s some raspberries over there if you want!” Max says as I inch forward towards her.
Before she registers what’s happening, I pick her up and run around with her, tickling her sides making her laugh. Wanda joins me and Max falls to the ground trying to squirm away. We join her on the grass and look up at the clouds.
A little while later, Max takes a blackberry out of her pocket and eats it.
“YOU LITTLE!” Wanda says. Max just laughs hysterically as I join her.
“Oh and what are you laughing about, Romanoff?” Wanda asks me, eyebrows furrowed.
“She played you, Maximoff. Like a violin.” I say and we all laugh.
“Well neither of you aren’t getting any blackberries next season.” She proudly says.
We all head back inside and we are helping Max decide where to put up some new decorations that she ordered. Things are finally looking up for our family. We are moving upward and onward.
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electricbarnes · 4 years ago
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tell me you still see me
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steve rogers x reader
summary: steve has been working a lot lately. you begin to have doubts about your relationship.
↳ songs i listened to for inspiration 
wc: 5.9k | warnings: some angst, overthinking, self-doubt, implied smut 
note: this is a repost from my old account that was deleted. so if it’s familiar, that’s why! i wasn’t planning on reposting but i read it over and decided why not. i have another steve fic that i’m almost done with, so i wanted to post this in the meantime. i made a few minor edits. i hope you like it! and if you decide to reread it, thank you x1000 !!
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You arrive at your apartment, hands filled with groceries for the week. You struggle to open the door with the many bags on your arms, but eventually make it inside. You kick off your heels and set the bags down on the kitchen counter. After freeing your hands, you reach into your purse to find your phone. You unlock it and tap on the first name at the top of your recent calls.
The phone rings for a bit before you hear the sound of your boyfriend’s voice saying “Hello”.
“Oh my god Steve, you’re never gonna believe what I saw at the store just now,” you say, thinking of the wild thing you witnessed during your shopping trip. It’s not everyday that you see someone throw themselves into a cereal box display. It was a hilarious sight and you just wanted to tell someone about it.
“So, I was just strolling through the isles looking for some snacks when a-” you’re cut off before getting too into the story.
“Honey, can this wait? I’m about to go into a mission briefing,” Steve says in a hushed tone. Immediately, you feel guilty for interrupting him while he’s busy. It was well into the evening and you had assumed he wouldn’t be working.  
“Oh, uh yeah of course! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” you apologize.
“That’s okay,” he reassures you, “I’ll call you later.”
“Okay, talk to you later then.”
The phone beeps, indicating the call was over. You sigh and go back to the task of putting your groceries away.
You decide to lounge around the rest of the day, trading your work clothes for some comfy sweats and a tee shirt. You spend the night mindlessly scrolling through social media while reruns of some sitcom play on the tv. You even send Steve a few memes here and there. You’re not really sure if he’ll understand them but they reminded you of him.
After eating a late dinner, you channel surf for a bit before putting on a random movie. When the movie finishes, it’s nearly 11pm and you realize that Steve hasn’t called you back. You pick up your phone, tempted to call him but decide it’s better to wait till tomorrow. He hasn’t replied to your texts, so there’s a chance he’s still busy despite the late hour.
Unfortunately for you, being a superhero is a full time job, which means that Steve can be busy at any moment of any day. You knew this going into a relationship with thee Captain America. To be fair though, you didn’t think you’d actually get to know the super soldier like you do now.  
When you met Steve, he was just some handsome guy at the park who helped you with directions when you were visibly lost. You ended up seeing him at the park again a couple days later. Recognizing you, he stopped and asked if you wanted to get a coffee. Who were you to deny this man?
You spent two hours in a café getting to know each other before exchanging numbers. In hindsight, his vague answers about his career were a little suspicious. It wasn’t until you went home that night and saw a picture of Steve in a tweet captioned “idc that captain america is like 100 yrs old, he can still get it 😍”.
Needless to say, you were shocked. While you were feeling dumb for not recognizing him sooner, you also wondered why he didn’t say anything. After an awkward confrontation about the subject, he explained how he didn’t want you to go out with him just because he was Captain America. You were quick to ease his worries and reassure him that you were interested in Steve for Steve, not for his heroic persona.
Since then, your relationship with Steve has been nothing but amazing. He was always so sweet with you, taking you on simple but romantic dates. There was something about that 40s charm that was so endearing. You loved the small things, like how he would always open the door for you or how he would bring you flowers on each date. It was so easy to talk to him about anything and everything. You felt like he was not only your boyfriend, but also your best friend.
There were times where you wondered why he ever picked you, an average person compared to the super people he’d work with everyday. He could’ve had anyone he wanted. Steve would say that you were like his sanctuary from the hectic world of being an Avenger. It meant a lot to you that you could be that person for him. You thought he deserved some peace after everything he’s been through. He wanted to protect you from the evil that inherently came with the job, which you understood, so he rarely spoke about the missions he’d go on. The less you knew the better. Though sometimes, you would wish he’d open up more about what was going on while he was away. Especially since he would be gone for days on end.
It was only a month into your relationship that you realized how hard it’d be when he would leave to be Captain America. It was his first time leaving for a mission that lasted longer than a day. He had to spend a week in some place on the other side of the world with no way of contacting him. Of course, you were worried the entire time he was gone. Despite trying to distract yourself with work and personal tasks, Steve was always at the forefront of your mind.
You had never felt such relief than the day he called you after a whole week of silence. Steve had even asked you shyly if he could come over that night. You felt butterflies in your stomach when he told you that he needed to see you. It was the first time he had spent the night at your place. Having Steve’s arms wrapped around you the entire night just felt right. You knew as early as then that you loved him.
Over the year that you had been together, those long missions became easier to manage. You’d always trust that he’d come back to you in one piece. Steve would sometimes feel guilty about being away for so long that he’d try to make it up to you by taking you on an extraordinary date. But you always assured him that you were happy to just be with him, even if it was just something like the two of you watching a movie at your place.
Lately, Steve has been more distant with you. You’ve chalked it up to the fact that there’s a literal distance between you two since he’s moved upstate to the newly built Avengers compound. Before, he was just a short drive away from the Avengers tower to your apartment. Now, he’s hours away from you. There were discussions of you moving in with him, but your job was in the city and you couldn’t leave that behind.
You both decided to make the best of the situation, calling and texting whenever possible. FaceTiming was the usual occurrence throughout the week, often before bed. You’d tell him about your day in the office and he’d tell you about the new recruits he would train. On the weekends, he’d stay over at your place. It was rare that you’d stay at the compound. Steve said he’d preferred your apartment, claiming it was homier than the compound. Plus, you’d actually have some privacy.
For a long time, it had been a good system. You love Steve and did anything to make the relationship work because he’s worth it. Yet, you couldn’t help the lonely nights where you wondered if he felt the same.
Calls were less frequent. Texts were unanswered. Weekend plans were cancelled because Steve would be assigned to missions during those days. You’d understand, of course. He’s out there saving people! You can’t fault him for that, but it doesn’t stop you from missing him.
Now, it had been almost two weeks since you’d last seen him in person. You had texted him throughout the day, but texting wasn’t his favorite thing. Texts were usually reserved for quick check-ins and reminders of I love you’s. He preferred calling and you did too, hearing his voice was much better.
After learning that he had been back from a short mission, you texted him.
You: FaceTime later? ☺️
You were eager to see him, even if it was through a screen. You were just hoping he had the time.
Steve ♡: Sure.
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Later that night, you sat on your bed with your laptop, opening up FaceTime. After a few rings, Steve’s face appears on the screen. A smile immediately breaks out on your face.
“Hi babe!” you say cheerily, finally getting to see your boyfriend after what felt like forever.
“Hi honey,” he says with a soft smile.
Your smile dims a bit, eyebrows furrowing when you recognize the background. “Are you still in your office?” It was pretty late and you assumed he’d be in bed by now.
“Yeah, I was finishing up on some mission reports,” he explains, shuffling some papers on his desk.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you’d be done by now,” you apologize, recalling the last time you had interrupted him from his work.
“No, no” he waves his hand, “I thought I’d be done by now too, but it’s a lot more than I expected.”
You frown at the thought of your boyfriend overworking himself. You want to ask him about it, but you know he’ll say what he always does when you ask about his missions: It’s classified.
“You’re not stressing yourself out too much, are you Steve?” you ask, concern evident in your voice. Even through the hazy quality of the webcam, you can see the tired look in his eyes.
“Never,” he says with a smirk.
“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” you say with a teasing tone.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about honey,” he reassures you. “Besides, I wanna know what you’ve been up to.”
You scoff, “well, it’s definitely not nearly exciting as your week must’ve been.”
“I still wanna know,” he says with that boyish grin you love.
Steve always knew how to make those butterflies appear. You end up telling him about the incident you witnessed at the store which makes him laugh as he imagines the odd sight. He tells you about a prank Tony pulled on him and Sam and you beg him to send you the recording of it. He refuses, but you know you’ll get your hands on the footage eventually. Things felt normal again, just talking to him.
“So I was mixing the dough and halfway through I realized I completely forgot about the eggs,” you were in the middle of telling him about the new recipe you ended up ruining earlier this week.
Steve hums in response. You notice him looking to the side, not looking at the screen and you hear the sound of typing.
“and then a blue monster broke into my apartment,” you make up in an attempt to get his attention.
“Mhmm”
“and he stole all the cookies,” you continue.
“Hmm”
“Steve,”
Silence.
“Steve,” you say with a little more force.
“Huh?” he finally looks up at the screen.
“You’re not listening to me,” disappointment laces your voice.
“I was,” he quickly defends but you don’t buy it.
“Uh huh,” you cross your arms and lean back against your headboard. “What was I talking about?”
Steve glances elsewhere, not meeting your eyes when he mumbles “something about a party?”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “yeah, like 10 minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry honey, I was listening, really… but these reports need to be done,” he says with an apologetic look on his face.
You couldn’t stay mad at him, but you did feel hurt that he would pretend to listen rather than just telling you something.
“Okay,” you sigh. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
He must notice the disappointment on your face because he apologizes once more.
“I’ll make it up to you honey,” he promises.
“Are you coming this weekend?” you ask hopefully. He couldn’t come last weekend and you were missing him terribly.
“Of course,” he gives you a tired smile that you return.
“Okay, finish those reports and get some sleep,” you instruct, emphasizing the last part.
“Yes ma’am,” he raises his hand, mock saluting you which makes you giggle.
“Goodnight Stevie, I love you,”
“Love you too sweetheart”
The call ends and you go to bed with a smile on your face.
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The rest of the week goes by quickly. You’re excited to get to the weekend because that means you can finally see your boyfriend, in person! Not just behind some screen. It’s been almost three weeks since the last time he came over and you miss his touch.
It was Friday afternoon and you were sitting at a small table in the cafe you frequent, taking a lunch break. Halfway through your break, you got a call from Steve. You were a little surprised to see his picture pop up on your phone since you’re usually the one to call him. Nevertheless, you smiled and answered “Hi babe.”
“Hey honey,” he greets.
“I’m glad you called, I was thinking of picking up a few things from the store after work today. Do you need anything?”
“Uh… about that,” he says in a low voice. Your heart immediately sinks, already knowing what he’s going to say next.
“You’re not coming.” A statement, not a question.
“I’m sorry honey. A mission came up and we leave tonight,” he explains and you almost want to laugh. Of course he’s leaving again.
“How long?” you ask. Maybe it’s just for a day and he can still come on Saturday or even Sunday.
“Two days… maybe three,”
You take a moment to process his words. Part of you saw this coming. It seemed too good to be true that you’d finally have him all to yourself. You glance up, trying to fight the sudden feeling of tears in your eyes. You didn’t want to cry in the middle of a busy café.
“There’s… there isn’t a chance you can skip this one?” you hesitantly ask. Normally, you’d just accept it, but your patience was running thin. This is the second time in a row he’s cancelled on you.
“You know I can’t. This is important,” he says it so sternly, like he doesn’t realize he’s breaking your heart. The missions are always important. More important than you.
“Yeah, but you’ve been working nonstop. I mean, don’t you want a break? Aren’t there others who can go instead?” you argue, voice raising.
“Y/N, I’m going. I have to,” he insists, leaving no room for an argument. You knew how stubborn Steve could be, so you knew he wasn’t going to change his mind on this. Rationally, you knew he probably had no choice in the matter but you took a chance anyways.
“Okay,” you relent.
You can hear Steve sigh before saying, “I’ll make it up to you.”
He’s been saying that a lot lately, but you know they’re empty promises.
“Okay.”
“I love you,” he says much softer than his previous tone.
“Love you too,” you say back, but your heart hurts.
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Before you met Steve, sleeping alone wasn’t so bad. Some nights you would be on your phone, scrolling through social media till you eventually got sleepy. Other times, you’d lie in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about your day and mentally planning the next. Too often you found yourself overthinking about something you did, something you wish you could change. Or you would be anxious about something coming up, running through different scenarios of how it’d go. For some reason, your mind wouldn’t let you succumb to the sleep that your body desperately needed. But you were used to it.
Then Steve came along and he’d be there to ease your mind. On the nights he would stay over, sleep came much easier. There would still be nights where your mind kept you awake, but Steve would be lying right next to you. You’d be on his chest, his hand soothingly rubbing your back as you told him about that meeting you were nervous about or how you got in trouble by your boss for a simple mistake. Steve would assure that everything would be okay and you found it easy to believe him.
He always knew when you needed a distraction from your worries, bringing up mundane things like last night’s baseball game or telling you about the modern music he actually started to like. Sometimes, he’d tell you a story from his life in the 40s. Stories like how his friend Bucky would drag him all over town, trying to find a date for the evening. Or about that time he had to star in an action movie when he just started out as Captain America (which you made a mental note to find later on Youtube). You loved hearing about Steve’s old life, curious about what made him into the man you love today.
Sometimes he’d just entertain your wild thoughts, especially when you’re half asleep. Conversations like how different life would be if dinosaurs never went extinct or if flat earth conspiracists were right. You’d be lying with your back to his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist while you mumbled any thoughts that came to mind. He’d listen till he heard your soft snores and he’d give you a gentle kiss on your head before he’d fall asleep too.
Then there would be nights where words would rarely be spoken. A night of soft moans as he took care of your body in ways only he knew how. He’d whisper praises, drawing out moans from you as he hit all the right spots. It was always different and exciting. You never knew what to expect, but he would always be so loving. You’d always stay close, basking in the afterglow.  
After having the comfort of Steve in the night, the times he’s not there feel a lot lonelier than before.
Like now, you’ve got your eyes closed but you’re not sleeping. Your thoughts seem louder than ever and they’re all about Steve. It probably doesn’t help that you decided to wear one of his tee shirts to bed, the faint smell of him making you miss him even more. After he cancelled on you (again) this past weekend, you started to wonder if he even wanted to see you at all.
You want to be mad at him, but how can you be? He’s Captain America! He has a responsibility that he can’t ignore, not even for his girlfriend. Lately, you can’t help but be worried at how many missions he’s been going on. To make matters worse, you’re left in the dark about all of it. He says it’s safer if you don’t know. You just have to trust him and trust that he needs to go.  
But what if he doesn’t actually need to? What if he wants to go so he doesn’t have to see you. Okay, that’s extreme, but it’s a possibility? It seems like he doesn’t even want to talk to you at all sometimes. You’re always the one texting and calling. It’s never really him unless it’s to let you down (again). Maybe you’re just being needy. Were you asking for too much? Are you overreacting? Probably. But it’s normal to be upset about not seeing your boyfriend for weeks, right?
You shake your head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. You pick up your phone from the nightstand. The clock reads 3:12am. You unlock your phone and open your messages to see the last few texts Steve sent.
Steve ♡: I’m sorry.
You: just be safe
             —
Steve ♡: I’m back.
You: okay
Your thumb hovers over the call button for a good bit, contemplating if you want to bother him so late at night. Before you can overthink it, you hit the button. You turn to lay on your side with the phone against your ear, anxiously waiting for the ringing to stop.
“Hello,” Steve answers, voice deep and filled with sleep. You feel guilty for waking him up, but at the same time feel relief at the sound of his voice.
“Hi,” you say shyly. Honestly, you weren’t expecting him to actually pick up. You were prepared to just leave a voicemail.
“Is something wrong?” he mumbles.
“No, no. There’s nothing wrong… I just…” you can feel the heat rising in your face, suddenly embarrassed for some reason. “I just miss you,” you say quietly, not even sure if he’s heard you.
You can hear the shuffling of sheets.
“I miss you too sweetheart,” he says and it warms your heart for a moment, “and as much as I wanna talk right now, I have to be up in a couple hours for a mission.”
“Oh,” the small smile you had on your face quickly disappears. You had no idea he was leaving again even though he just got back the day before.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay hon?” he says tiredly.
You feel a lump in your throat forming but you push past it, “yeah… yeah, of course.”
“Love you,”
“Love you too,” you practically whisper.
The phone call ends and the tears start to slide down your face. You didn’t have the energy to fight them anymore.
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The last call you had with Steve a few days ago left you torn between logic and your emotions. You knew he was just tired, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed between you two. In the past, he never seemed to mind talking to you, even in the odd hours of the morning. You always believed that you guys were so in sync. It seemed like he knew when you needed comfort and would be there to provide it.
You would be able to tell when something was off with Steve and though you would always offer to talk about it, he would brush it off. Thinking back to it, maybe he never really opened up to you for a reason.
You began to question if you are more invested in this relationship than he is. It feels wrong to even think so, considering how sweet and caring he is, especially with you. But everyone has their limits, right? Maybe he’s just gotten tired of you. It’s clear that work is his number one priority right now, maybe he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend anymore. He always makes promises of making it up to you another time, but maybe there will never be another time.
The thought of him leaving completely sends a pang of hurt to your heart.
You: can we talk?
You had sent Steve that text what felt like forever ago, but in reality has only been 20 minutes. You had spent that time repeating in your head what you were going to tell him while you paced back and forth around your living room. You were going to ask for a break. You didn’t want to break up with him completely, no, but you thought that this would be better in the long run. You’re hoping a break will give him the space he needs and then you guys can go back to the way you were. You figured it was better to let him focus on being a hero. You didn’t want to become the clingy girlfriend that he’d eventually resent.
You had no idea how he would react. Maybe he would agree. It’ll be tough, but every couple goes through something like this, right? Sure, it’s a special circumstance with you dating an Avenger, but other people have busy partners. You wonder how they manage a relationship when they don’t see each other so often. Maybe you were giving up too easily? But you’re tired of feeling pushed aside, like you aren’t his priority when he’s at the top of your list. You’re tired of feeling guilty for being upset when he can’t come see you. You’re just tired of feeling like you’re losing him.
Just as you start to doubt your whole plan, your ringtone breaks the silence. You pick up your phone with a shaky hand and tap on the answer button.
“Hello,” you say, hoping he doesn’t notice the nervous tone of your voice.
“Hey honey, you wanted to talk?”
“Uh, yeah…” you reply, already struggling to keep your voice even.
“Is everything alright?” he’s concerned and you can imagine the look on his face.
“Yeah…yeah,” you lie, “I uh… I just wanted to talk… about us.”
“Listen honey, I’m sorry about last week but it was really-“ he begins to apologize, but you shake your head, not wanting to hear another excuse.
“It’s more than that Steve,” you interrupt.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…” you hesitate, trying to gather your thoughts. “Do you realize it’s almost been a month since we’ve last seen each other?”
There’s a pause before he answers, “…I didn’t know it had been so long.”
“Do you even care?” you ask, voice giving in to the mix of anger and sadness you feel. The tears begin to well up in your eyes.
“Of course I care, you know I do” he defends.
“Do I though?” you question. The rehearsed words you mentally prepared are long gone. “…I’ve been sitting here thinking of what I’m doing wrong because I feel like something’s changed between us.”
“What are you talking about?” he sounds genuinely confused, “Nothing’s changed.”
“Steve… we don’t talk like we used to, I barely get to see you. I miss you all the time.”
“I know I’ve been working a lot lately,“ he acknowledges.
“And I don’t blame you for that,” you clarify.
“I know how important your job is, but… but I’m feeling a little left out here,” your voice cracks at the end. You wipe the few tears that started to fall down your face. “I mean, I feel like I barely know that part of your life. You’re gone most of the time and you never talk to me about it.”
“I can’t, for your safety. We’ve discussed that.”
“Yeah and I thought I could handle it, but you’re giving me nothing here,” you argue. “I wanna be there for you Steve, but it’s hard when you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
“I... I can’t. I want to but it’s better if you don’t know,” he says pleadingly. You want to believe him, but you just can’t seem to let this go.
The silence lingers over the phone.
“Maybe we should take a break,” you eventually say with defeat.
“A break?”
“Maybe we just need some time to sort things out. You can focus on your work and when things get better… we can try again.”
“No, no…” he starts to argue, “that’s not fair.”
“Steve, please…” you beg, “just try to see where I’m coming from. I still love you, I always will. I just think we need this.”
He doesn’t say a word, making you anxious.
“Steve-”
You’re cut off by the phone hanging up. You sit in disbelief, letting the weight of the conversation fall on you.
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You spent the rest of the night just curled up on the couch. You keep questioning your decision. In your mind, this was the right thing to do, despite the heartbreak you knew you’d be feeling. But you didn’t think it would hurt as much as it does now.
Steve’s reaction made you rethink the idea of a break. You worry that he thinks you don’t love him anymore when it’s the complete opposite. You did this because you love him. You didn’t want to lose him completely, but it looks like you lost him anyways. Maybe, deep down, a part of you was trying to save yourself from the inevitable heartbreak.
The living room was dark, the only light coming from the street lights outside. The tears have stopped flowing, but the headache lingers. It’s almost 2 in the morning and despite being worn out from crying, you have trouble sleeping. You’re about to get up for a glass of water when you hear a knock on your door.
Your first reaction is to panic, because you weren’t expecting anyone at such a late hour. You mentally run through the self defense moves Steve insisted on teaching you. Slowly, you approach the door, trying to not make any noise.
Knock knock knock.
“It’s me.”
It’s softly spoken, but you hear him loud and clear. You quickly open the door to reveal Steve with a look of sorrow on his face. You can’t help but stare at him in shock, taking in his disheveled appearance.
“I don’t want a break,” he says hoarsely, breaking you out of your trace.
You all but pounce toward him and wrap your arms around his neck. He immediately wraps his arms tightly around your waist. You bury your face in his neck, inhaling the familiar scent that reminds you of home. Despite everything that happened over the phone, you feel a flood of relief from finally being in his arms.
You stood in his embrace, relishing the feeling of him being there for a good minute before you pulled away. You meet his eyes, noticing the tears surrounding them and it hurts your heart.
“We should talk,” you say, voice rough from the crying just hours ago.
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You’re sitting side by side on your couch. You look at him and can’t believe that he drove all the way to your place in the middle of the night. You can see the worry on his face and you want nothing more than to comfort him, but you hold back because you want an explanation first.
“So..” you start off, “you don’t want a break?”
“Y/N, I know I’ve messed up, but please don’t give up on us,” he says with pleading eyes.
“I don’t want to. I thought that’s what you would’ve wanted. I thought…” you shy away from his stare, “maybe you didn’t want me anymore.”
Steve looks at you with guilt, realizing for the first time how much he’s hurt you, “I’m sorry… I know I’ve been saying that a lot lately but I never wanted you to feel like I didn’t want to be with you.”
“Then what's been going on?” you ask, looking back at him, determined to know why it took you asking for a break to get him here.
Steve looks down at his hands, visibly nervous. Why? You have no idea.
“Talk to me Steve,” you encourage him. “Please.”
He turns to look at you, taking a breath before saying “I’ve been looking for Bucky.”
You’re immediately confused. Out of all the things you thought of him saying, this was never one of them.
“Bucky? Bucky Barnes?” you question. You knew of his friend from the stories he would tell you. Bucky was practically a brother to Steve.
“Yes,” he says easily, but it just makes you more confused. The thought of Steve going crazy briefly crosses your mind.
“He’s the Winter Soldier,” he explains. You recognize that name from the news. He was a part of the incident that happened in DC.
“What? H-How would that even be possible?” you question, not really being able to wrap your head around it. From what you knew, Bucky died in war back in the 40s.
“HYDRA was using him. They found him after he fell from the train and they brainwashed him for decades until I was able to snap him out of it when we fought in DC,” Steve continues, “After he saved my life, he disappeared.”
The pain in his voice is evident as he talks about his friend. You scoot closer to him and you take his hand into yours, offering him comfort.
“Sam and I have been following any lead we could to find him,” he explains, “I’ve been doing that along with all the other missions I get sent on. That’s why I’ve been gone so much.”  
It finally makes sense to you.
“Oh Steve,” you say, “I wish you would’ve told me this sooner.”
“I know honey, I should have…” he squeezes your hand, which you reciprocate.
“HYDRA is evil. I’ve seen how cruel they can be,” he continues. “The thought of them coming anywhere near you kills me,” his voice filled with emotion and his eyes gloss over with tears. “Sometimes it’s hard for me to get out of that headspace…”
He looks away from you, head down, “you shouldn’t have to deal with that.”
You reach over with your free hand to touch his face. “Steve,” you turn his head to look at you. His blue eyes shine even in the dim lighting. “Please don’t shut me out. I want to know these things. You don’t have to tell me everything, but I just want to be there for you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”
Your eyes beg him to understand you. “And I get it now. Bucky is your friend and I know you’ll find him again someday. Just don’t put all that stress on yourself,” your thumb wipes away a stray tear falling down his face. “I want to help you in any way I can. You can always come back to me.”
He subtly nods and looks at you, faces only a breath apart. “I don’t deserve you,” he says quietly, like he’s in disbelief.
He closes the distance, lips finally meeting yours. Your eyes flutter shut, as you continue to cradle his face in your palms. You focus on conveying all your love for him into the kiss. You pull away briefly to move on to his lap as he leans back into the couch. His hands naturally fall on your hips as you get impossibly close.
You break the kiss again, “Promise not to leave me again,” you plead, but your tone is much lighter this time. You never wanted to leave his arms again.
He looks up at you, eyebrows furrowing a bit, “I can’t promise that,” you give him a sad smile, already knowing that. His hand leaves your hip to push a stray hair behind your ear, “but I can promise that I will talk to you more and show you how much you mean to me more often. ”
You genuinely smile at that.
“This is important to me,” he says, pulling you closer, emphasizing his words, “you’re important to me.”
“I love you”
“I love you too,”
You lean back in to kiss him again, smiling in between because you’re happy to have your Steve back. And you know things will get better from here. There’s still going to be some tough nights when you miss him and he can’t be there, but you know he’ll be missing you just as much. You won’t have to doubt his love for you again.
You pull away once more, “Remember how you said, you’d make it up to me?” you question with a mischievous look in your eye.
“Yeah,” he says looking at you expectantly.
You simply raise your eyebrows and smirk at him. He catches on and mouths an “oh”.
You’re lifted from the couch so you latch onto Steve’s shoulders, giggling loudly at the sudden movement. He carries you into your bedroom, where he definitely made up for lost time.
You slept much easier that night.
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hope you enjoyed reading! 🤍 reblogs and feedback are much appreciated!! let me know if you liked it :) 
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crackheadgeminibby · 4 years ago
Text
better for you
pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader
warnings: age gap, angst, language
word count: 2.7k
a/n: this lowkey sucks and is very poorly edited, i’m sorry but on the plus side, i surpassed 400 followers yesterday!! so thank you to those 400+ people🤍🤍
i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape of form or reposted on any other platform
not my picture
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You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person. Much less a jealous girlfriend. Not at all. Never had and you thought you never would.
You had practically raised yourself as your parents had always been more preoccupied with their jobs. You loved your parents, you really did, but when your high school counselor told you that you could graduate high school a year and a half early, you took the opportunity to start college immediately and move out of your parents’ house. This drastic change when you were so young made you become extremely independent. Which is why your relationship with Chris worked almost perfectly. You valued your independence, as he did his, and you respected his independence, as he did yours.
As a corporate lawyer that had multiple firms around the country, you traveled a lot, needing to meet with clients. Chris, as an actor, also traveled a lot.
You both trusted the other without a doubt at the beginning of the relationship despite that Chris was, at first, a little wary of being with someone as young as you. As a 24-year-old, he thought that you should be living your life, partying, sleeping with whomever you wanted without being tied down, but you had explained to him that despite your age, those were not the things that you wanted.
You and Chris were truly made for each other, knowing the other more than they knew themselves. You would even dare to call yourselves soulmates.
Which is why you could not fathom why you were in your current situation.
You had left early in the day for California, where you were overseeing the opening and start-up of your newest firm. Chris, on the other hand, had left 3 days ago to go on some trip his publicist had arranged for him. You hadn’t bothered asking what it was about, assuming that it was about ASP. Plus, you didn’t mind it: he had to do what he had to do.
But now, you couldn’t believe yourself.
You were sitting on your hotel bed, in a white and fluffy robe, fresh out of the shower. Your computer was open in front of you, the TV was blaring the news and you had your phone in your hand. It was almost 11pm but you had been doing this for at least 3 hours. All three electronics were talking about the same thing: Are Chris Evans and Lily James dating??
It was a bit your fault that people gave themselves the right to assume things like that, to be honest, since you had been the one to pressure Chris about keeping your relationship secret. You knew that people would talk and judge you for your 15-year age gap. You, personally, didn’t care and neither did Chris but his career was dependent on his public image and you didn’t want to hold him back, especially not at a pivotal moment in his life like right now.
So, you had agreed on telling your families and your very close friends and Chris had convinced you to let him tell his publicist, Megan. God, she fucking hated you. When Chris arranged for you guys to meet, she had called you “a walking, breathing PR disaster”. You had laughed it off calling her funny, but you knew that she was 100% serious. You really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would do something so fucked up at some point.
A bunch of different news outlets were pumping out new stories every 30 minutes, each article a little more detailed than the previous. It was all over the Internet and it seemed to be the only thing that people cared about today.
Considering the 8-hour difference between London and San Francisco, you hadn’t been able to talk to Chris at all since you got to your hotel. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t even tried to talk to you. Why was he avoiding you and acting like he had something to hide?
You’re reading the latest Daily Mail article on your computer about how Chris and Lily apparently got to his hotel in the same car when you hear your phone ring on the nightstand. You don’t even bother looking at the caller ID as you reach for your phone, eyes still glued to your computer and answer,
“Hello?”
You hear a loud exhale on the other end of the phone before you hear Chris’ tired voice, “Baby, hi.”
You tense up slightly before asking, trying to seem nonchalant, “What’s up?”
“Have you watched the news today?”
You bite your lip, thinking, before replying, lying through your teeth, “No, why? What’s going on?”
Chris sighs again before answering, “Nothing, it’s fine. How was your day?”
You roll your eyes. Was he seriously not going to say anything?
“Fine, but it’s really late and I have to get up early tomorrow so good night.”
You hang up the phone before Chris can answer anything. You throw the phone at the end of your bed, frustrated beyond belief.
You continue to read the Daily Mail article as you hear a message coming in. You don’t bother to get up to pick up your phone as you see the message appear on your computer screen a couple of seconds later.
chris💙, 11:01pm:
Good night baby girl. Good luck tomorrow🤍
You groan loudly at his message. Even when he had pissed you the fuck off, his words still brought butterflies to your stomach.
You disregard his message and finish reading the article. You roll your eyes as you close your computer and get up to put it on the hotel desk. As you’re walking back to bed, you take your phone from the end of the bed and put it on its charger, ready to go to bed.
You’re not sure how you manage to fall asleep that night as your mind swirls with unending thoughts.
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When your alarm wakes you up at 6am the next day, you feel groggy, having slept very badly last night. Which was to be expected.
You get up and change while eating a protein bar before heading to the hotel gym: you needed to do something to get your energy up. Once you finish your workout, you head back to your room to get ready for the day.
When you get out of the shower, you open your computer and, having left the Daily Mail website open last night, you see a new article posted 2 minutes ago: Chris Evans and Lily James seen on a date in a London park.You groan loudly, closing your computer as you hear that your cell phone is receiving multiple texts.
You reach for your phone on the hotel desk and your eyes widen as you see your lock screen.
5 missed calls
12 messages
You open your Phone app seeing one call from Chris, two from your best friend, one from your brother and one from your mom.
You open the Messages app as a new message from your brother comes in.
will, 7:31am:
When did you break up with your boyfriend? And why didn’t you tell me?
you, 7:32am:
i didn’t
yet
will, 7:32am:
You know i’m gonna fucking murder him right?
You smile fondly at your brother’s concern, chuckling softly as you type your reply.
you, 7:33am:
as you should(:
You open the rest of your messages, mostly asking the same thing. You didn’t feel like talking about it anymore so, you ignore them until you get to your conversation with Chris.
chris💙, 5:22am:
Hey, I’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now.
I’m so sorry
Call me when you can, please. I really need to talk to you.
You bite your lip as you think about what to answer. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right before your firm’s opening. Shaking your head, you lock your phone, putting it back on the desk, getting dressed.
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As you get back to your hotel room, exhausted from your day, you hear your phone signal an incoming text for the millionth time today.
You sigh loudly: you knew it was Chris texting you again. You had been ignoring his texts all day because you didn’t want to get in a bad mood while you were opening the firm.
You put your purse and work bag on the floor, unlocking your phone. You open the conversation with Chris, scrolling through his messages.
chris💙, 6:15pm:
I’m leaving a bit earlier than I planned, I should be home tomorrow morning.
Are you back in Boston or are you gonna stay in LA?
You sigh, feeling guilty that you had been ignoring his texts all day. You start typing a reply, your finger hovering over the send button for a couple of seconds before clicking on it.
you, 6:17pm:
i’m still in san francisco i’m leaving tomorrow morning
As soon as your message goes through, you see the three dots pop up in the conversation.
chris💙, 6:17pm:
Oh my God, hi. Are you okay?
Can I call you?
You chew on your bottom lip: you really didn’t think he was going to answer that fast.
you, 6:18pm:
i’m about to take a shower then i’m gonna go to bed i’m really tired sorry
chris💙, 6:18pm:
Okay, I’m sorry
Good night
You groan loudly. You really didn’t know why you felt so guilty: he was the one running around with another woman. As you think about this, you realize that you didn’t really know who she was.
You shake your head at yourself as you pull up Google on your phone and look for her. You don’t even realize it but, 20 minutes later, you were now at the oldest post on her Instagram.
You curse at yourself, dropping your phone on your bed, and head to the shower.
You stay under the hot stream of the shower for at least an hour before you finally get out, toweling off.
You order some room service for dinner, settling down in front of a random show playing on the TV. After pushing your food around for half an hour, you sigh loudly, put the tray on the hotel desk and get under the covers before finally falling asleep.
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You had not slept very well so you had been in a rush to leave the hotel and catch your flight to LAX in the morning. You were exhausted and hungry when you got to your shared LA home with Chris but there was no food in sight, considering that neither of you had been here in a couple of months.
As it was not too late in the day, you decide to take a nap and order some food after.
When you wake up a few hours later, the sun has already completely set and the house is pitch black. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and take your phone before heading to the living room to order some food.
As you enter the kitchen and are about to head to the living room, you hear a deep voice, “Hey, you’re up.”
Taken by surprise, you throw your phone in the direction of the sound and scream, “Holy shit!”
“Ow… What the fuck?”
You’re breathing heavily, clutching your chest as you turn on the kitchen lights, brightness illuminating the area as you see Chris holding the side of his head.
“Jesus Christ, Chris! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”
Chris rubs at his head as he looks towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Your heartbeat starts to slow down as you roll your eyes.
“What are you even doing here?”
Chris frowns and replies, “Well, you never told me where you were going to be but when I got back to Boston and you weren’t there, I assumed you were coming here.”
You groan silently, crossing your arms over your chest and raising your eyebrows,
“So, London seemed to be very fun.”
Chris shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, before making eye contact with you, “I didn’t know that’s what the trip was about.”
You chuckle humorlessly, “Really, Chris? Since when do you go on trips, not knowing what they’re about?”
Chris exhales loudly, taking a couple of steps towards you, “I promise that I didn’t know. Megan planned everything and just sent me the info.”
You snort loudly, rolling your eyes. Chris frowns before asking, “What?”
“Megan, Chris? Really? She fucking hates me, of course she would pull a stunt like this.”
Chris frowns again, shaking his head, “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hate you.”
You laugh, this time, actually finding this funny, “Chris, she literally called me a walking disaster.”
Chris struggles to find an answer to that: he knew that Megan used this exact kind of formulation so he couldn’t deny it.
“And you know what? It’s fine. Maybe you really should be dating her instead of me.”
Chris’ face contorts in a mix of hurt and anger, “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s true, Chris. She’s better for you. She’s actually your age, not a fucking child compared to you. She can give you the things you want from life that I can’t. Maybe it’s better that way.”
“What way?”
You shrug your shoulders, looking at your feet, mumbling, “If we weren’t together.”
Chris scoffs, “You literally have to be kidding me.”
Chris takes large steps, making his way towards you and takes your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.
“Y/N, I’ve told you before and I will tell you again. I do not give a shit about your age. And I thought you didn’t either. So, what’s the problem here?”
You bite your bottom lip nervously, “Because what if what Megan said is true? I mean… If people find out that we’re dating, the shit talking would never stop. I can’t do that to you.”
Chris sighs, enveloping you in a hug.
“Baby, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters if we’re not together.”
He lets you go, stroking your cheek, “You’re it for me. There is no one better for me than you. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not you. Not Megan. And certainly not my fans. If they love me as much as they say they do, then they’ll respect you.”
You chuckle slightly, “Chris, I don’t know what kind of fantasy you live in, but in real life, that’s not how things go.”
“Okay, but who cares? There’s two people in this relationship, you and me. Not you, me, Megan and my fans.”
You scoff, mumbling, “Yeah, tell Megan that.”
“I will. The same goes for her. I didn’t know she actually meant those things about you and I’ll tell her that she needs to knock that shit off.”
You sigh, nodding slightly, “Okay.”
“And, baby, I’m sorry.”
You furrow your brows, trying to understand, “I never should have agreed to Megan’s little plan thing. But, most importantly, I should have told you as soon as I knew. It’s just that I kinda owed Lily a favor and she needed this. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”
You sigh, “I know, it’s okay. I knew this kind of thing could happen when I decided to be with you, and I overreacted a bit so I’m sorry too. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have asked you about it instead of ignoring you. I just… couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe you should be with her.”
Chris shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. And I never will be.”
Chris laughs a bit before continuing, “Sorry, but you’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.”
You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Looking back at Chris, you smile warmly before hugging him,
“I love you, Chris. Like, a lot.”
Chris chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “I love you too.”
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ms-starflower · 3 years ago
Text
Spook-tober Day 1 — Decorating
@maribat-october-rarepairs
So, technically, it’s October 2nd for almost two hour here, but it’s probably still the 1rst somewhere, right? Well, I don’t care anyway.
It’s my first time writing for an event (Maribat or otherwise) and I wanted to write both prompts for Spook-tober - Maribat Month and the Maribat Rare Pairs Month, but didn’t have time to start writing before 11pm.
This one's for Spook-tober, though it could also qualify as rarepair since it's a Stephinette (is that the correct shop name???), because Steph is my Queen (Cass too, but I wanted Steph today). Though they don't interact (yet) but I think I’ll write a follow up for other days' prompt, maybe (day 9 and 21, I’m looking at you,).
Anyway, let’s start.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You sure you got the right address, miss?” The cab driver asked her with a skeptic expression. It would have been alright if the man hadn’t asked the same thing in at least twenty different ways during the ride.
“Yes, thank you Monsieur. I’m exactly where I wanted to be,” Marinette answered with a tight smile, like the twenty previous times. Giving him the money she owed him, she got out of the car to stand in front of the gigantic gate of Wayne’s Manor. The place was kind of intimidating.
Still hearing the car behind her when she reached the intercom, she turned toward it. The driver was shamelessly looking at her, probably waiting for her to get refused access.
“Are you waiting for something, sir?” She asked, tilting her head slightly.
“You’re gonna need a ride back, don’t ya? I’m already here, might as well,” he smiled at her with condescending amusement. Marinette was tempted to tell him that she would prefer to go back to the city on foot than to get into his car again. But her parents raised her better than that, so she only smiled politely.
“There is no need, sir, I really don’t know how long I’m going to stay here.”
“Yeah, right,” the man huffed, still staring at her.
Deciding to just ignore him, Marinette turned to push on the intercom’s only button. It took a minute before an elegant and accented voice responded.
“Hello, how may I help you?”
“Ah, hello sir. I’m Marinette, Jason asked me to come?”
“Indeed, Master Jason warned me to expect you.”
When the gate opened, Marinette made a point to turn around to smile and wave goodbye at the cab driver. She would cherish his dumbstruck expression for a long time.
Her victory was short lived, though, when she saw how long the march from the gate to the house was going to be. Jason better be on the brink of death. Or the world, she wasn’t picky.
When she finally got there, an old gentleman she thought might be Alfred was waiting for her.
“Miss Dupain-Cheng, I’m Alfred, the family’s butler, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Alfred said with a kind smile and a nod.
“The pleasure is all mine, sir. And just Marinette is fine,” she told him kindly, walking into the house. “Jason is okay, right? He didn’t say why he wanted me here, and I have to admit that he got me worried.”
Jason had been determined to keep her as far away from his family as he could manage before, and the sudden change was really odd.
“I see,” Alfred said slowly, closing his eyes for a second. “Master Jason is alright, Miss Marinette, do not worry. He just… Well, why not let Master Jason explain the situation to you himself. If you would follow me.”
Marinette followed him for a couple minutes through a couple of corridors, before he opened the doors to… a battlefield.
She thought that, maybe, it was supposed to be a living room, but it was hard to say, under all those decorations. They were literally everywhere. Throwing on the couches, a couple of boxes were overturned in a corner, a couple of garlands of little cartoon ghosts hanging hazradly from the chandelier. It was a mess, but she could see that someone probably tried to… decorate? Maybe? It was a really bad job, though.
Jason and a man she assumed to be his brother were battling with a plastic pumpkin and a skeleton respectively, while two more men and a woman—probably also Jason’s siblings, she heard Bruce Wayne was kind of a serial adopter— were cheering on the sidelines and a brooding teenager was glaring at them. Everyone froze as soon as they realized that they weren’t alone anymore. Alfred only sighed, nodded at her before going back to where they came from.
“Hey! Pixie! Great, you’re here,” Jason exclaimed excitedly, letting go of the pumpkin he was shoving into his brother’s face and stauttered toward her.
“Jason, in the name of everything that’s holy, what the hell?” Marinette asked with a voice deceptively calm. She could see the woman and one of the men behind Jason wince at her tone. Good.
“Well, see, we wanna decorate the house for Halloween, now that it’s time—”
“Jason,” she interrupted incredulously. “We are in September!”
“Well, technically, it’s already October in Russia,” the man that had been fighting with Jason piped up.
“Yeah, what Timbers said,” Jason said with a serious nod while Marinette could only look at him in astonishment. “Anyway, Bruce said we can decorate all the room in the Manor like we wish if we can make this one presentable, without the help of Alfred. And I really want to make a cat theme for his bedroom, so I thought; hey, you know a designer…”
“I’m a fashion designer, Jason, not an interior designer!”
“Same difference, Pixie. You’re my only hope, all of them are hopeless in terms of good taste.”
Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose, ignoring the various protests from Jason’s sibling, before taking out her phone.
“So you proceeded to send me ‘Hey Pix,” she said, reading the message he sent her earlier with a bad imitation of his voice. “‘Need you at the manor asap, urgence lvl 3’ before ignoring me, making me think that the world was probably ending—”
“World ending is at least a lvl 5, Pix, come on,” Jason interrupted with an offended expression. She ignored him.
“—Forcing me to take a cab with a absolute jerk driver—”
“Why did you take a cab? You have a car!”
“Adrien took the car, he is visiting Chloé in New York. But that’s not the point. The point, Jason, is that all of that was because you needed me to help you decorate for a day that is literally in a month?”
“Hey, Halloween is a very important celebration,” Jason’s brother, the one that had been cheering the loudest, told her with a solemn expression.
“I’m French, I don’t care about Halloween,” she deadpanned.
“I’m sorry, what?” The one Jason had called Timbers, probably Tim Drake, looked pained at the very idea that someone could not be obsessed by Halloween.
“I mean, we used to make speciales and sales at the bakery, and I’ve been to a couple of costume parties, but we don’t really pay attention to Halloween until around the 25 of October.”
“That’s sacrilegious,” Jason said, and almost all the others agreed in a way or another.
“Maybe for you, Americans,” she told him with amusement. “But it doesn't change the fact that I’m not going to help you.”
What? Why?!” He exclaimed, his eyes widening.
“Because, one, I don’t have anything to gain from it,” she said, showing him one of her fingers before adding a second. “And two, do you know how long the walk between the cab and the door had been? And all of it just for decorations?”
“Aw, come on, Pix! Bruce is going to make Alfred judge, and I have projects for the cat theme!”
“There is nothing you can say that is going to make me change my—”
“Hey guys!” A cheerful voice suddenly interrupted her, the owner barging into the room like a whirlwind. The woman was slightly taller than her, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She had a beautiful smile that brightened the room and Marinette could feel the hearts that were making their way in her eyes. The girl was cute. Uh oh. “You are decorating already?! Cool! Be right back, let me just grab my stuff!”
Then she was gone, and Marinette could only blink slowly, before turning back toward Jason.
“Alright, I’m in.”
“What? Why— Oh, no, no, no! You’re not going to crush on Steph—”
“Oh, her name is Steph? What a lovely name,” she mumbled, looking back in the direction she disappeared. “But if you don’t want my help, I can just ask for her number and let you fend for yourself with the decorations, you know.”
“Pixie!” Jason complained, making his sibling laugh or snicker at him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Fun fact: when Marinette says that France doesn't care about Halloween until around October 25th, I’m talking from personal experience. I don’t know if it’s the same in all of France, but I grew up in Paris’ region (It’s not Paris Paris, but it’s like, the places all around and we call it régions parisienne) and they don’t care about it. Where I live, the shops don’t start selling Halloween themed candy before, like a week (maybe two?? when they start early) before Halloween and the children rarely go trick or treating. (I lived in this house for ~five/six years, and I’ve never got a child knocking for candy on Halloween.)
Again, I’m not saying it was like that for everyone in France, maybe it was only my city, but I thought it funny to have this opposition between Marinette and the Batkids.
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hermannsthumb · 3 years ago
Note
possible prompt for a university au: newt is the biology major who maintains all the fish tanks in the physics building at 11pm and hermann is the physics student who likes to wander the halls to think. newt accidentally flings water all over the ground and hermann trips, hijinks ensue.
earlier today I was thinking about how I wrote a college AU fic almost 3 years ago to the date, and how I wanted to do more bc its fun thinking about newt and hermann as dumb college students
----
Newt's not really sure how he ended up with the weirdest work-study job on the planet, but honestly, things could be much, much worse (he could be stuck down in the dining hall, or dealing with confused freshmen in the school bookstore) so he keeps his thoughts on the whole thing to himself. Every Friday at eleven sharp, Newt pulls on his grodiest t-shirt and a pair of long rubber gloves and treks all the way over to the physics department to set to work scrubbing down the fish tanks that line the classroom walls. Why does the physics department have fish tanks? Newt's not really sure about that, either. It's kind of an insane amount of them, too, more than even the marine bio department has. Maybe it's supposed to boost morale or something. Hey, look at these crazy cool tropical fish who get to do nothing but eat and swim in circles, sorry you're stuck inside calculating velocity and shit.
Whatever, Newt's not complaining about that either. Let the physics nerds have their fun. It'll be good for them to branch out a little, realize there's life beyond robotics club meetings.
Also, Newt likes the fish. They're cute. He likes to think they like him, too, because they're very well behaved when he has to scoop them out of their tanks and plop them into smaller fish bowls (the kind goldfish in movies always use). He's going to teach them tricks eventually—he had a beta fish once who would do a little flip when Newt tapped the glass a certain way because he knew he'd get rewarded with dried worms, so Newt knows it's possible. Just imagine, a hundred fish doing flips on command. Newt Geiszler, fish whisperer.
Yeah, maybe the job could be more glamorous. It's really hard to get algae out of the gloves, and he hasn't been allotted the budget for a new pair yet.
"Hey, guys!" he shouts as he pushes in the door to room 214. The fish don't acknowledge him: they just continue swimming in their giant tank. In and out of plastic plants and rock caves. The rock caves were a gift from Newt three months into the job, and so were some of the moss balls—stimulation is important for fish! He wouldn't want to be trapped in a glass box with nothing to do, either. "I bet you missed me. Ready for a clean tank?"
Newt always talks to the fish, even if they don't talk back, because he thinks it's important to build their trust. He'll usually keep a running commentary of his week as he scrubs the tanks, just get everything off his chest that he needs to get off. Stuff he's worried about. Stuff that went well. Stuff that went badly. Therapy's expensive, and Newt's student health insurance can only cover so much, but talking to fish? That's free.
That's also kinda why he does it so late at night and over the weekend. The last thing he wants is an audience. Because, one, talking to fish is admittedly weird, and two, no one wants a glimpse at Newt's psyche like that, probably not even the fish.
The first step in cleaning the tanks is relocation. Newt digs his stereotypical goldfish bowls and an industrial-size mesh wand out of the supply closet, fills the former with some of the special tank salt water, and begins the slow and arduous task of scooping out the fish and depositing them into the bowls. "I had the lamest week," he announces once he's about three clownfish in. "I was working on a group project Saturday—"
Then Newt stops, because he hears footsteps in the hallway just outside the classroom.
Serial killer, Newt's instincts supply helpfully.
No, Newt corrects himself, that's dumb. Why would a serial killer wander into the physics building at eleven o'clock at night? Why would anyone, period? He's probably imagining stuff. Lack of sleep, stress over his upcoming projects, residual embarrassment from his disaster study session Saturday, all of it culminating in Newt thinking there's someone there. No, definitely imagining it. Newt can only even get in this late to the department because his ID swipe card is set up with the right permissions—not even the physics students have the permissions he does to be in this late at night. Well, not unless they clean the kitchenette in the student lounge or something.
Or if Newt left the door unlocked.
More footsteps. Closer now.
Newt's pretty sure he didn't leave the door unlocked, because he thinks it locks automatically behind him, and he would have to literally prop it open for anyone to get in after him. But anything's possible. The door could've caught on a dropped pencil or a paper scrap or other weird shit that physics students leave around, and a serial killer could've noticed and taken the opportunity to sneak inside on the off chance a hapless young biology major was scrubbing slime off fish tanks in the middle of the night. Any minute now, Newt's about to end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. The Physics Department Murder. The Disappearing Biologist. (Nah, neither of those are very good titles, but that's why Newt isn't on the creative writing track.)
Step-tap-step. Closer now; Newt's heart leaps to his throat. Step-tap-step. Step-tap-step. Pausing just outside the door of room 214. God, why didn't Newt turn the lights off? Why didn't he shut the door?
Newt reaches for the first vaguely weapon-shaped thing he can find—an empty fishbowl, because Newt's not going to sacrifice any of the fish for this—and, as the door swings open, hurls it with a cry.
The bowl clunks on the ground. Except it turns out Newt grabbed the wrong fish bowl, because (even though it doesn't shatter, thank God) water quickly begins to seep across the slate floor tiles towards Newt's serial killer, a pathetic little clownfish (Newt thinks this one is named Albert, because the physics department is made up of nerds who do shit like name their random pet fish after their kind) flopping around in the puddle. Newt's serial killer, meanwhile, cries out similarly, his arms windmilling as he loses his footing and slips backwards, his cane—
Oh, fuck.
The intruder is not a serial killer. It's someone possibly worse, actually: Newt's mortal enemy, Hermann Gottlieb.
Newt's not really sure at what point Hermann became his mortal enemy and not just some guy I have class with that I hate, but he can pretty easily say that they've hated each other since the moment Hermann walked through the doors of Engineering 101 and was deigned Newt's lab partner by the Alphabetized By Last Name Seating Chart god. Something about Hermann just gets under Newt's skin. It's not his prissy English accent, or his oversized sweaters, or his absolutely horrendous haircut, and it's not even that he takes every opportunity to savagely rip apart every single thing Newt says in class. Don't get Newt wrong, that's all super fucking annoying, but it's annoying levels he can deal with.
It's the stuff they have in common that makes Newt hate him. It's like Hermann's a slightly broodier and more angular mirror that reflects all of Newt's most egregious faults—his arrogance, his stubbornness, his social awkwardness, his desperation to be taken seriously—right back at him. It sucks.
Plus, one time Newt caught Hermann ripping down the flyer he put up on the quad for Anime Club to advertise his stupid chess club instead, and he's never managed to forgive him for that.
Newt may hate Hermann, but he's not about to let him land on his ass in a puddle of fishy water (especially not on a freezing November night) just because the subsequent bitching would be unbearable, and, yeah, it would be supremely shitty of Newt, so he leaps forward just in time to catch Hermann and his cane before he hits the ground. He's so impressed with himself with his amazing catch that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Hermann is shouting and probably has been shouting since he slipped.
"—bloody maniac! What on earth are you doing in here? How are you in here? Did you just assault me? I'm going to phone campus police, you wretched—"
"Hold that thought," Newt says.
He rights Hermann and snags the mesh net and rescues poor Al before it's too late, dropping him back into the big tank with the rest of his friends. Newt can't be sure, but he thinks Al blows a bubble in thanks at him. Maybe he needs to make friends outside fish.
Hermann is still yelling at him.
"I am going to tell the head of the department you're—you're skulking about in here after hours!" he declares. "You're a menace. Pay attention to what I'm saying to you, Newton!"
Newt sighs and turns around. Hermann's turned an interesting shade of red—sort of like an over-boiled lobster, or if he fell asleep in the sun for too long. Newt wonders if it's from embarrassment (almost falling on his ass) or anger (almost being knocked on his ass). Probably anger. "Look, dude, I'm sorry," Newt says. His face twists like he ate a lemon, and he hopes Hermann doesn't notice. Newt hates apologizing to Hermann. "It's my job to clean the tanks every weekend. You scared the shit out of me and I freaked out—it's just that, like, no one ever comes by this late. Ever." He decides not to mention the serial killer thing. Hermann might make fun of him for being jumpy or paranoid or something.
Hermann's scowl doesn't lessen, but he does nod. Plus, he stops shouting. That's as much as Newt's gonna get of forgiveness. "Hmph," Hermann says. "You clean the tanks?"
"Every weekend," Newt repeats. He realizes he got some fish tank slime on Hermann's button-up when he caught him. Oops. Hopefully Hermann won't notice until Newt's in the safety of his dorm. "Gotta pay for my textbooks somehow." Then he frowns. "Wait, so what are you doing here? I didn't know you had access to the building this late."
Maybe Hermann is the kitchenette-cleaning guy after all. But, to his surprise, Hermann sniffs and casts his eyes to his dorky Oxford shoes. "Er," he says. "It's just—I was having trouble working out a solution to a problem, and thought a walk might do me good. Chilly nights like this one always do. And I quite like this building at night—it's calm, and much quieter than my dormitory." He fidgets. "And—well—only don't say anything to anyone, but I rewrote the permissions of my ID card so I could come and go wherever I please ages ago."
"You rewrote the permissions?" Newt says. "What the hell, wouldn't you have to hack into the security system or something to do that?"
"Well, obviously," Hermann says.
Despite himself, and despite Hermann being his Mortal Enemy, Newt is genuinely impressed. "Dude," he says. "That is so badass." Since when has Hermann been a badass?
Hermann's eyebrows jump, and he blinks at Newt behind his dorky librarian glasses. What twenty-one-year-old wears librarian glasses? With a chain? "You think so?" he says.
"Uh, totally," Newt says. "What problem were you stuck on? The one from Saturday?"
Being lab partners for engineering means Newt and Hermann have to collaborate on pretty much everything, including their midterms. Their midterm is what they've been working on for the past two weeks. On Saturday, though, they met in neutral ground to work on it (a reserved study room in the library), and, after a stupid and massive argument that had the librarians hoisting them out by their shirt collars and threatening to ban them for life, Hermann called Newt an idiot and stomped off into the night. Newt still hasn't gotten around to giving the problem another shot. Whatever, they have another week before the dumb thing is due. Plenty of time. Hermann nods. "Yes," he says. "Er—that one."
Newt glances at the clock ticking away on the wall. Quarter after eleven. Hermann's delayed him a whole fifteen minutes. Technically, he reminds himself, he doesn't actually have to have the tanks scrubbed by Friday night—he has the whole weekend to get it done. Also, he kind of feels like he owes Hermann for attacking him the way he did. Accidentally attacking. "Listen, Hermann," he says, feeling totally insane for what he's about to suggest. But he kind of wants to know more about Hermann The Badass. "What if we went back to my place and worked on it together? I'll buy us pizza, and I have, like, a bunch of energy drinks." The pizza place nearest campus is open until three in the morning, almost definitely because they get all of their business from sleep-deprived undergrads. Plus, they have midnight specials where you get free breadsticks with every pizza. Newt could go for some breadsticks. "It might be...fun," he adds.
Fun? With Hermann? Hermann will think he hit his head or something.
But to his surprise, Hermann doesn't hesitate even a second before saying "Alright, then."
"Oh," Newt says. He honestly thought Hermann would put up more of a struggle. "Cool!"
"But I might need to borrow a jumper," Hermann says. "If you'd be so...courteous, that is. I'm a bit chilly."
For some reason, the thought of Hermann (Newt's mortal enemy, but also a secret badass) curled up in one of Newt's baggy sweatshirts makes Newt feel all weird and warm all over. He swallows a few times, because his throat feels a little weird, too. Too tight. Like he just ate something he's allergic to. "No sweat," Newt says. "Let me just get these fish back in the, um, the tank. And—" He waves his slimy, gloved hands. "Take these off. And clean up that puddle. Gimme—um, gimme like, ten minutes?"
"Of course," Hermann says, and gives Newt a small, terse nod.
From Hermann, it's a smile. Newt almost slips on the puddle he's so blindsided by it. Stupid Hermann, making him feel all weird and clumsy.
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xpeachesncream · 4 years ago
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restart | eleven
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↱ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG  |  series masterlist ↰
summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.
pairing: reader x fiancé!kth
genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut
words: 3.3k
warnings: cussing/mature language, angst, thoughts on overdrive, anxiety
notes: um, there’s about 3 chapters left ☹️ i won’t be taking drabble requests right away just to give myself a little break and work on bands for a bit, BUT-- i think i might be working on something else in the meantime? i’ll let you guys know lol ily a milli 💗
tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @jeontier​ @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ @littlewolfieposts​ @vanntaesworld​ @thebeebi​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
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"Look, I—"
"No, Aiko. You know damn well I deserve to hear this from you too no matter what the outcome was. It takes two to tango." You step a little closer to her as you feel your bottom lip trembling. Just looking at her makes your stomach drop. You remember all the times that you felt insecure, and truly inferior especially after those nudes she used to send.
Fuck, Taehyung.
Maybe she was just always going to be a weakness for Tae, and that was it.
God, you want to hurl. But you keep yourself composed because it's here now. There's really no turning back.
"Hey." Jin gently squeezes your wrist and gives you a reassuring look. "It's okay." He mouths out.
"Do you have to be here while we do this?" Aiko shoots Jin a look.
"Of course I do. I'm not leaving her side. Why are you suddenly so shy when you've been sharing your nudes with everyone, let alone men in relationships?" Jin snaps back with that glare of his. But this didn't surprise you, Jin was always direct. He would never shy away from telling you like it is. All Aiko can do is roll her eyes at him before letting out a small sigh and bringing her attention back to you.
"Can we just cut to the chase here? I'm not exactly here to be friends." You say as calmly as possible. "Why did Taehyung come to see you?" Which, you curse yourself under your breath once you ask the question because why the fuck else would he come and see her? You were just too busy trying to sway away from the truth.
"He just asked to come see me. For specifics, I'm sure you and I both know what the intention was behind it." You feel sick, but you swallow the lump in your throat and slowly nod your head.
"So, um—"
"No, he didn't Y/N." She cuts you off and looks at you, her facial expression softening. "He didn't do it."
"W-what?"
"He came here and left. Said this was a mistake and that he would never do this to you." Jin's grip tightens around your wrist for whatever reason, you can't really decipher the signal right now. You honestly had a hard time believing her at the moment, and it has even gotten to the point where you think they've both created this story to tell you. However, when you look at her, her body language isn't defensive, nor does she seem like she's hiding anything. There's a small frown creeping up at the corners of her lips as she watches you.
She watches how you fiddle with your fingers, and how you always seem to swallow the lump in your throat every 5 seconds, slyly looking up to prevent the tears from coming down.
"O-oh."
"Look, I'm really sorry for having caused any trouble and I know I'm probably still not going to be on your favorites list for the way I acted with Jin—" She quickly looks at him. "And with Taehyung. But, if there's really one thing that I help with right now, I can tell you that he truly does love you." She tightens the way her arms are crossed close to her chest as she lets out another shaky sigh. "I know it's terrible that the thought was there for the both of us, but he would never do anything to hurt you. He can't. You mean too much to him, Y/N."
"I— don't really know what to say."
"He's set on you. There's no changing that for him." She says, and you can catch the hurt in her voice. The way her tone dips a little when she tells you there's no changing that for him. She still had feelings for him, and this shouldn't be anything new to you.
"Thanks." Aiko does nothing besides purse her lips into a tight line.
"Yup." You look at Jin, and he simply nods at Aiko before he's slightly pushing you to walk away from the door and down the stairs. But, before you could fully get yourself down a step, Aiko calls out for you both. "Hey."
"Hm?"
"He's lucky to have someone like you. I hope he learns from whatever he's going through." You take one last look at her before you silently head down the steps with Jin and situate yourself in his passenger seat.
"So, what now?" Jin asks as he drives off.
"I honestly don't know." The scene of him begging you not to go replays in your head and your heart shatters all over again. You don't know if you're upset with yourself or if you're still upset with him. Actually - yes, you still were upset with him because he had the fucking nerve. The fucking thought. You couldn't get over that. But part of you felt relieved knowing he didn't move forward with it? Or, that he was fucking smart enough at the very least to fix himself the very last minute.
"You can't avoid him forever."
"No, I know that. I just don't know what to say to him." You turn to Jin. "Is it really bad for me to want him to make this work? I don't wanna be the one that goes to him first, not after all of this. I'm tired. I just want to believe that he still wants me the same way he did before."
"I'm sure he hasn't changed."
"Jin, the thought still crossed his mind."
"I know and it's not okay whatsoever but I do have to give it to him for realizing it before."
"I don't know. I guess, yeah." You look down at your lap. "What if he just doesn't fix this? I'm scared of being upped and left again." The sudden thought of your ex popping up, along with all the nights you cried yourself to sleep - waking up with a pounding headache and dry eyes.
"He's not going to." Jin says reassuringly. "I really do believe he'll get this right, but just like you needed time, he does too. I know you had a hard time and a lot of things hurt you, but Taehyung had his own demons to battle and that's never easy. He's trying."
"Yeah." Is all you respond with.
"Do you need more clothes?"
"No, I don't think so. If anything I'll just ask one of the boys to grab me something."
"Okay." Jin continues to drive off and back to his apartment. You keep your gaze outside of the window until your phone vibrates in your lap.
[taehyung♡] 6:05pm: can we talk tonight? i know you might not be ready, but i honestly don't want to put this off any longer. i need to see you.
Your breathing hitches and Jin can feel that something has suddenly changed in your mood. You stare at your phone, unsure if you want to cry or if you're relieved to see Taehyung pop up on your screen. You wanna cry cause of course it still hurts to know the thought crossed his head; you'll never forget that for a second, Taehyung thought about risking everything you've built together just to feel wanted, needed, whatever the hell it was. For a second, he pushed you aside because he was ready to let Aiko back in.
But then you also are relieved because fuck, even if it hasn't been long, part of you felt like he was truly going to give up. That he wasn't going to try anymore. That he didn't think this was worth fixing. That you and him just weren't meant to be together. After all this, of course you still loved him. You loved him deeply - so, so deep, that thought of you without him is probably what hurts the most. He meant everything to you.
"What is it?"
"He wants to talk tonight."
"I'm telling you, you can't avoid him forever."
"Should I do it?"
"Are you ready to? Just because I say you can't avoid him forever doesn't mean you have to talk to him right at this moment, especially if you aren't ready." You look at Jin.
"This is so fucked up, because after everything, I still miss him. And I want to see him. I just don't know what I'd say though."
"Why don't you be honest about everything, yeah? How it made you feel, you confronting Aiko. Let him know that if this does work out, he'll really need to learn from it and understand how hurt you were."
"I know."
"So are you going to see him?"
"Yeah, I think so." Your hands became clammy as you picked up your phone and responded.
[y/n] 6:11pm: yeah, sure.
[taehyung♡] 6:13pm: is it okay if i pick you up from jin hyung's?
[y/n] 6:15pm: yeah, that's fine.
[taehyung♡] 6:16pm: be there in about 15 minutes.
As soon as you put your phone down, Jin is turning into his parking garage and parking into his assigned spot. You quietly walk up the steps, feeling the anxiety settle in. How was this night going to go? Were you going to have to move your stuff out permanently? Move in with Jin or Jungkook until you could figure things out? You already felt terrible enough having spent these past nights in Jin's bed while he slept out on the couch. He insisted he was fine with it, but still.
What if Taehyung really just wanted to talk to tell you that this was done?
Fuck.
Your anxiety is bubbling in your stomach as the minutes go by, 15 minutes seemingly coming a lot slower than it usually does on any other given day. But, it eventually comes and it comes by Taehyung texting you that he's downstairs. You zip up your jacket, fixing up your appearance just a teeny bit because this was still Taehyung. Jin is eating dinner as he waves you off, setting your bowl aside on the kitchen counter for you to eat later when you get back [if you're hungry].
You feel your pulse on your neck, and your ears are slightly ringing because of how nervous you are. You catch a glimpse of him through the lobby doors and you instantly feel weak, and you fucking hated that effect he had on you. He looks at you as you near the passenger door, slipping yourself in without making much eye contact.
"Hey." He says softly as he drives off.
"Hey."
"You eat already?"
"Nope, haven't been too hungry." His heart sinks at the statement.
"Let me know if you want me to stop by anywhere afterwards to get you some food."
"I'll be fine, thanks." You say, keeping your eyes on the passing view outside of the passenger window. The ride is awfully quiet, nothing but the thoughts in your head making noise. You realize he's taking you down towards the nearby beach, parking his car in front of the ocean view. When he shifts the gear to park and shuts off his lights, he slightly sinks in his seat and lets out a sigh.
"Y/N." He says, breaking the silence. You slightly turn your head towards him, eyeing him every now and then through your peripherals. "I'm sorry." He says, close to a whisper as his head drops and he begins to cry.
"Do you even know what you're sorry for, Taehyung?" You ask, your voice cracking when you look at him to see how torn up he is.
"Baby, of course I do." He looks at you through his teary eyes. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for ever making you question your worth, I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble and pain while all you've done was be there for me. I'm just.. sorry for not being there when I should have been. I should have never let you go through this alone."
"You have no idea how it's been all this time. I was your fiancé, Taehyung. I was trying to be there for you through everything you were feeling, experiencing, whatever it was. I tried. And all you did was push me aside and you still ended up pointing your fingers at me. Almost cheating on me, even? The thing that feels so unforgivable and so painful is the fact that for a second, you really believed risking everything we've built together was worth it."
"I know and I fucked up. That was on me, 100%. I let everything get to the best of me and I was too dumb to see it right away. I fully acknowledge it and I never want to make you feel that way again. I miss you so much. You being away has been so difficult because I feel empty without you. It's been hard to be without you because I never pictured myself to be without you. I still can't."
"We were planning to get married, Tae." You begin to softly cry. "This isn't something you do when you get married to someone and build that life together with them. You can't—" You wipe your tears with a quick pause. "You can't just run off expecting things to be okay after they get brushed under the rug. How are we supposed to have a family together, grow old together, if we can't even fix these kinds of issues together?"
"Baby, I'm ready to do this with you. It's been a hell of a ride and I'm learning as I go. I know I haven't been perfect, or the best fiancé, but know I'm learning from this because I want to be the best for you and give you the world like you rightfully deserve. I'm so, so sorry, my love." He responds, wiping his tears in between before reaching for your hand and grabbing it. He brings your hand to his lips and presses a kiss against it, causing your heart to flutter. "I love you so much, I'm not giving up on us. I want to do better and you help me be a better man every day that we're together."
"I just want you to understand how much of a toll this took on me and our relationship. You really hurt me, and all I hope is that you do learn from this and become better from it. I love you so much, but I can't always save you. I can be there for you, but sometimes you have to help yourself and I don't know what I'll do if I have to go through this again."
"I know. And I said I wanted to do better, I'm gonna do this for us. I don't want to do this with anyone else. I'm ready to do this ride with you." You don't really have anything else to say, because you feel like you've made your point time and time again. Now, you just didn't know if you'd take this leap of faith again and trust him, or if you should let it be. You simply lean over to wipe his tears, but he keeps your palm against his cheek, pressing a kiss against it as he leans into your touch. "I'm in love with you, Y/N. More than you'll ever know." You sit back into your seat and give him a tiny smile before letting out a breath. You were nervous for what you were about to say, but you needed to say it. You just needed to be honest. This is what this time was about.
"I went to see Aiko earlier." His eyes shoot right at yours, but he doesn't say anything. "She told me you didn't do anything and that you left." You slightly nodded. "It's gonna be hard for me to let that go. But I hope you understand that I want to be the person you go to if things get rough, no one else. I want you to confide in me and tell me what you need so I can better provide. I don't want my man to be running off to someone else because they feel like they can't get a certain feeling or emotion reciprocated, especially without discussing the issue."
"I know, love. I know. I understand and hear you. I'm going to show you that you're the only one that matters to me, and I'll never make you doubt yourself ever again." You sigh and nod. He leans over to kiss you on the forehead, but retreats back to his seat without kissing you anywhere else because he still felt the need to give you space. The kiss sent shivers down your spine though, and it only really solidified the fact that he was the only one you still wanted. "I—um, talked with my parents."
"You did?" You ask softly. For some reason, this was something you weren't expecting to hear. You truly and honestly didn't think Tae was ever gonna try to mend his relationship with his parents, but this showed you that he wanted to try - with you and with them. Hopefully, at least.
"Yeah. I stayed there for a bit." He slightly smiles. "I'm gonna start working with my dad next week. We've been trying to do a lot to mend our relationship and spend more time together."
"I'm happy to hear that, Tae. I really am."
"Thank you for always pushing me to do better with them. There's a lot on their side that I had yet to better understand and vice versa."
"Of course." You say softly as you look at him. He was still the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on, even under the moonlight.
"Do you wanna head back to Jin hyung's now?"
"Sure. I think I've said what I needed to say."
"Come home, please." He says softly as he begins to drive off. "I want to work on mending us, and our relationship."
"I—I don't know. I want this, I do. But I think I just need time to process this? I don't really know. I have to be honest, I'm scared."
"That's okay, I understand. You have every right to feel that way, but I'll show you that you don't have to be. You know you're always welcome to come back whenever you're ready though, baby." But fuck, everything about this makes you so weak. You really did want to go back home and work on this. You just wanted to be with him. You were just scared. There's really no other way to put it. Scared of getting hurt, scared of falling into another trap.
The rest of the ride is quiet again, but it's obvious that the both of you feel a little better getting things off of your chest and talking things out. It didn't mean that everything was fixed though, but you could at least say you both were on the same page of working this out and fixing your relationship. And even though you weren't going home with him that minute, Taehyung can't help but feel hopeful that this will work out in the end. He wanted to do right by you, and he was going to. He was going to fix this, marry you, have a family with you, grow old with you - he was gonna do whatever it took to get you both back on track.
When you unbuckle your seatbelt, you turn to face Taehyung. He simply gives you a tiny, toothless smile before cupping your cheeks and kissing your forehead, then nose.
"I love you, babygirl." He kisses your nose once more, thumb lightly caressing your cheek. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too." You respond before quickly hopping out to prevent yourself from crying even more. You don't turn back and simply head into the elevators up to Jin's floor, straggling tears able to leave your eyes and lightly stain your cheeks.
"How was it?"
"Good, I think."
"What's the plan moving forward?" Jin asks as he leans onto the kitchen counter, watching you wipe your tears and nose.
"I think I'm gonna go home."
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even when i'm on my own, i'm never alone and the silence sounds so loud, i'm feeling bound by the words i can't get out
track six: me and my mind - jazz morley
189 notes · View notes
atalho-s · 3 years ago
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Light Up The Dark
Part 1 | June
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pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader
warnings: some smut +18 (in this particular chapter it’s nothing TOO explicit, but miniors be aware), swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!
words: 4.9 k
summary: y/n is a famous horror writer. Her books are on the lips of the people and her face is on all the magazine covers of promising young people.
She has just moved to Los Angeles, the city of celebrities and luxury, when she starts to get a writer's block as she starts writing her newest book. A way to distract herself and seek inspiration leads her to have her destiny mapped out with a simple waiter named Tom who has a delicious british accent.
What happens when her inspiration comes back only after she spends a night with him and she only manages to write after being in the company of that guy she just met? Maybe he'll become her newest addiction.
a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! this is a series i started writing a while ago, i hope y’all enjoy :) the reader it’s from brazil here, but you can replace from any country you want lol And obv i’m not from LA and never been there, so if i say something out of reality it’s bc of that 😂
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"June arrived at the restaurant, sat down near the bar and looked around vaguely. The strange people's faces made her think better and maybe drink a shot of tequila too.
She opened his folder with the horrifying photos of the mysterious case. She felt sick to her stomach.
People said that by then she should have been used to see this kind of thing, but that was repulsive.
She wish the nightmare she had the night before was a way to solve that puzzle, but believing in the afterlife now wouldn't help her... If...If..."
- Damn it... - Y/n slammed her fist on the table. - Writer's block sucks. - She said and took the last sip of her tea.
It s been a week since she couldn't write anything. She would write maybe two paragraphs, maybe even three if she got lucky, but she always ended up erasing it, because she always turned into something meaningless or too cliche.
Damn the time she had promised to deliver something to her editor by the end of the month. But she hadn't counted on the lack of ideas when she agreed to that.
She got up from her chair in frustration and crossed her arms, pacing, as if her creativity had gone out for a walk and she was waiting impatiently for it to come back.
Why had she agreed to write a new book in the first place? She didn't need money. Their previous four books were already making huge profits, and they were going to make a new television series based on one of them.
So why writing another one? Maybe because, she had been having too many nightmares lately. Many family and friends told her to see a psychologist, see if she didn't have some hidden trauma. But looking for a psychologist? Admitting your weaknesses and personal things to a stranger? Never. That would be horrifying.
Writing helped. Transferring his fears to pages was hers gift. When she wrote she didn't have nightmares, didn't see things, wasn't sad. It was like a drug, a calming medicine.
Maybe fame was also making her restless lately. She hated being the spotlight, being the magazine cover of promising young people. She hated to see her name highlighted. But she loved having readers, yes. She loved when someone felt good reading her books or in the good sense of the word: terrified by her stories.
At the height of her 25 years, he never thought her books would become famous at that point. She had always enjoyed writing since she was a child, but working with it was just an unattainable dream. Until, at age 19, she quit her hideous job as a hotel receptionist and decided to publish her first story.
Obviously there were many rejections, until a publisher agreed to publish their work. From then on, her books became more and more known. They called her the new horror genius, the mystery queen, and sometimes even "Stephen King's lost daughter."
She didn't think it was all that. But she accepted the descriptions gladly. No wonder her books didn't come out of the top spot on the best sellers.
Another thing that motivated her to continue with that story, was a phrase from her own idol mentioned, Stephen King: "good stories are those that stay in the head for a long time". And God only knew how that story had been with her for far too long. She always wanted to put it down on paper, so here she was trying to put into words what her head brought up as random thoughts.
But now she was having one of his first creative blocks. Obviously she had already had it with previous books, but nothing as frustrating as this one. She had been trying hard for days, which was exhausting.
She looked at the clock on the wall: 11pm. Who knows if she took another break before starting writing again? Maybe it would help to come up with more ideas.
She thought about watching a show or movie, but he wasn't in the mood. She looked at her long polka dot pajamas under her favorite warm robe and snorted. Go out? On a Thursday night? On a cold night? No way.
But what if it helped her have more writing material? Watching people on the street really helped. If June, the character in her book, was in a bar, maybe if she went to one too it would help to have something to build on.
Writers did it all the time. Describe places that already existed, situations similar to which they lived. So, it wouldn't be new. Maybe she'd even put the location in her tribute if helped she got out of her creative block.
She took a deep breath and went to take a shower. It was decided, she would go out. She put on her best jeans, a Ramones T-shirt with a leather jacket. It wasn't a fancy outfit, but she didn't intend to go somewhere fancy anyway. Her stylist would have been dying to see her now, but she didn't care one bit.
She went out pressing the bottom of the elevator. Y/n had lived on the top floor of a building for 2 months, right in downtown Los Angeles. Sometimes she didn't even know why she chose to live there, she hated the big city and what came with it: paparazzi, celebrities, crazy people who feel superior, wealth and luxury. She came from a humble family, so she always felt like an outsider.
Y/n arrived downstairs and left the condominium calling a taxi that was passing in the street just in time. She walked in and closed the door, crossing her arms, trying to ward off the cold.
- Good night miss, where are you going? - the driver asked looking at her in the rearview mirror.
- Good night... Actually I don't know, do you have any suggestions for a bar around here?- she asked looking out the window. She didn't even bother to look for suggestions for places nearby.
- Well, it depends on what you're looking for... Something luxurious or something fun? - He said and a smiled played on the corer of her mouth. Luxurious was the opposite of fun indeed.
- Something fun, of course.
- So, I suggest the new Seven Devils bar, it's less than 20 minutes from here... - he said.
- Interesting name... Could be. - She said shrugging.
- The name is kinda creepy, but the place is cozy and welcoming, I went once. - the driver said starting and entering the street that was practically empty for being a weekday.
- Cool... - Y/n said looking at the city lights through the window.
After nearly twenty minutes the taxi stopped in front of what appeared to be a small door with a security guard in front of it. The neon sign indicated the name of the place, it seemed a mysterious place for those who passed by without knowing it.
- Thanks. - Y/n said handing the driver the money.
- You're not the Y/n Y/l/n? I didn't want to say anything, but I'm a fan of you, I love your books, they help me pass the time while I wait for passengers. - the driver asked turning a little with one of the Y/n books in his hand. - Could you sign this for me?
- Sure! - Y/n spoke excitedly taking the book from his hand and leaving a message along with her signature. - Thanks for the tip of the place. Have a good night... - She said opening the door.
- No, thank you, have a good night miss. -he said and she smiled closing the door and the taxi left leaving her alone looking at the door in front of her.
She approached the security guard who wished her good night, giving her room to enter, after she showed her ID. Y/n entered a little afraid of what she would find. The door behind her closed and she looked around. It was really cozy as the taxi driver said, it had a part with several tables, which were a little empty and a bar with stools around. The place had a good atmosphere, one of those that people go there to meet and chat with friends, in the background there was a kind of pop song that she wasn't sure if she knew or not.
He slowly approached the bar and sat down on one of the stools. A woman with several tattoos appeared behind the counter and came to serve her.
- Good night! How can I serve you?- she asked with a smile.
- Good night... Hm... Maybe a martini? - Y/n said taking a look at the drinks on the shelf behind the attendant.
- Okay, I'll be back with your order, anything else?
- That's it for now, thanks. - She replied smiling and the attendant walked away.
Y/n kept looking around, watching people, maybe looking for some inspiration. Something that would turn the key in his mind. Many who were there were in groups of friends and were talking animatedly, laughing. Some young and some older, in suits and ties, perhaps coming out of work.
Until one guy in particular caught her attention. He wore the black uniform with the name of the place, with an apron tied around the waist of the same color, and was picking up some glasses from some empty tables. He had dark brown hair slicked back and eyes the same color, very expressive and large. A boy's face from the outside, but on the inside had a mysterious and confident air.
He balanced a tray full of things with an greatest skill in one hand and smiled at some people, he seemed charming because everytime he left a table he left people whispering and giggling embarrassed behind his back.
He walked over and entered the bar placing the tray behind the counter, came close to the other attendant who already had the Y/n martini ready and she could hear him talking, soon realizing he had a perfect accent.
- Sally, you can leave it to me, go take your break. Whose martini is it?- he asked taking a look around.
- Oh thank you, my feet are killing me. It's the girl over there. -she said indicating Y/n with her head and he looked at her, making Y/n realize that she was staring at him for too long, so she looked away embarrassed.
- Okay. - he said looking at where Y/n was sitting and stopped in front of her with the glass. - Good night miss, here is your order. - He spoke with a british accent. Only at that moment did Y/n realize that his accent was well loaded and God only knows how much she loved that accent.
- Oh yes, thank you very much. - She said raising her eyes to look at him and smiled then he blinked with one of his eyes and gave her one more look, before going to deliver another order to a man who was sitting a few benches away.
Y/n felt a shiver all of a sudden, that boy had made her legs a little weak and she didn't really know why. I mean, he was handsome, very handsome and he had a special charm, but it wasn't that much, was it? Maybe it was because it had been a while since she'd dated anyone. When was the last time? Two months ago? Since she had moved in she hadn't gone out with anyone, she had locked herself in her apartment and was writing like crazy. She didn't have time to go out, not even with her friends when she was working on a new book. Which brought them dissatisfaction from time to time, not just because she didn't hang around with them, but because she didn't even go out on one-night stands.
She never been the one that going out with a guy just for sex, she had to have some good first dates and maybe she would take him to see her apartment or go to his apartment. Friends of hers thought she was too old in her spirit, but what can he do? If she couldn't be bad girl once in a while. For a moment she thought, "For this english guy I would be" but shook her head away from the thoughts. She went back to analyzing him, dammit why did he have to be so fit? She could see that the T-shirt he was wearing highlighted his muscles that were only left to her imagination, she found herself biting her lip a bit and snatching her martini off the counter, taking a big sip.
The attendant approached again, drying some glasses with a towel, and took one more look in her direction where she looked away quickly making him smirk. He stopped in front of her again, bracing her arms on the counter, making her swallow hard. He didn't know why she was so nervous, he was just a guy, no biggie.
- I like the shirt. - He pointed with a smile, which made her think he had a beautiful and endearing smile. She looked down and then looked at him smiling too.
- Thank you... Ramones is everything... - she said and drank the last sip of her drink placing the empty glass in front of her right after. - Can you serve one more?
- Sure...- he said, still smiling, took the bottle and filled his glass again. - Trying to distract yourself on a thursday night?
- Yeah... you could say yes... - she said taking another sip. - Have you worked here for a long time?
- In fact, it's been almost six months since I moved to the United States and I've been working here for four months. -he said putting the towel that was in his hand on his shoulder.
- Hm... You're from London?
- I am, wow how did you find out? - he asked raising an eyebrow playfully and she smiled.
- Yeah, your accent really doesn't give out anything ... - she said and he gave a low laugh making her have more goose bumps.
- You also have a different accent, have you lived here for a long time? - he didn't know who she was, which was good. But it also wasn't like she was recognized all the time, despite her face being on magazine covers, she was still a writer, so she was only recognized by those who liked to read or who vaguely remembered her face.
- I was born in Brazil actually, but I've lived here for years, lived in another city for almost five years and now I've decided to come to Los Angeles two months ago...
- I see ... - he said organizing some drinks that were on the counter. - Do you like it here?
- More or less... It's a busy city, isn't it?
- Yeah, it's not for anyone. - He said shrugging. - I like it, I like the rush, but the glamor part really isn't me. - the attendant said and she smiled.
- You're right... I mean, I don't like the glam too much either... - She looked away at her nails.
- What do you work with? - he asked and she looked at him again.
- I'm a writer...
- Nice! What do you write? - He asked curious looking at her with attention.
- I write horror and thriller books.
- Interesting... I would never read, actually I'm not much of a reader anyway, but I wouldn't, because I'm terrified of those things. - He said crossing his arms and she laughed.
- Oh, it's not that terrifying, it's just stories. - She said leaning her elbows on the counter.
- Still, I prefer to have my good night's sleep intact. - He said and she laughed making him smile looking at her.
When she was about to say something, a customer signaled for him and he excused himself going towards the man who was furthest away.
Y/n sighed. She still didn't have any new ideas about her story, but she was entertained by that conversation. She liked not being recognized, she liked him not being interested in her books, for a moment she felt oblivious to anything, liked feeling disconnected from her world.
He returned shortly after and they started talking again. They talked about bands, movies, superficial celebrities and even politics (an important topic in Y/n's vision, who was very firm with her ideas, thankfully he had passed the test). She found out that he was the same age as her and that he moved to the US to look for something that would give him money or a perspective on life, ended up getting that job and intended to stay until he found a different area. The hours passed and they kept finding subjects to give their opinion or questions to ask each other.
- Did you go to college? - she asked after a while.
- No, I don't think I'm smart enough for that, or have the patience. What about you?
- Everyone is smart enough. I started going to business school, but I dropped out when my books started to pay off...
- Wow, your books should give you a good amount of money to be able to drop out of college and dedicate yourself to them...
- Yeah... You could say that. - She shrugged.
- You know looking at you closer like that...- he said getting a little closer and she held her breath for a moment. - I've seen you somewhere...
- Really? - She said raising her eyebrow and drinking from a straw, now with a different drink.
- I don't know, you're not strange to me... - he said putting his hand on his face thoughtfully.
- Well, I hope it's from somewhere nice. - She smiled and he smiled back looking at her. - Do you have a girlfriend or are you married? - Y/n asked and regretted a little, what was she thinking? He wasn't married, as he didn't have a ring on his finger as she'd noticed. But what was her intention by asking that question? She didn't even know, she just knew it had escaped her.
- Neither darling. - He replied smiling a little mischievously and she felt butterflies with the way he called her by that nickname and with that accent. - How about you?
- Neither ... - She replied avoiding looking at him, those eyes hypnotized her and she didn't like to feel at his mercy of a guy she had just met. She took the cell phone disguising but paid attention to the time. - My God, it's already 2:00 in the morning! I completely missed the time.
- I think the company ended up distracting you. - He said still not taking his eyes off her and she felt her cheeks heat up.
- Yeah, the chat was really good... But I have to go... - she said getting up.
- If you wait I can take you home, I'm already leaving, the bar is already closing. - he said and Y/n looked around seeing that some waiters were already collecting some things from the tables.
She thought for a moment, take a ride home with him? It didn't make sense, she had just met him, but at the same time she had enjoyed talking to him so much. He didn't seem like a bad person, but even so you would never know for sure. At the same time she never took any chances, why not let that pretty boy take her home? Finally, she thought: you know what? Screw this.
-Erm, ok...- She shrugged. - I'll go to the cashier to pay and wait for you outside?
- No need to pay darling, it's on me. - He spoke winking and she smiled.
- Oh no, I'll pay no problem...
- Your company has paid off your debt, it's ok. - He replied and she took a deep breath rolling her eyes.
- If you insist...- she said giving up.
He came out from behind the counter and motioned for her to follow him, arriving at the front door where the security was.
- Tuwaine, you can let her pass, it's on me. - He told the big guy and he looked at the english man, sawing his eyes suspiciously and smiling right away. Making Y/n laugh inside.
- Meet you outside? It will only take a few minutes - the attendant said and she nodded, leaving in the cold night.
She leaned against the door with her thoughts. She had come here just to get inspiration and to have her creative back, but she was coming home with an english guy. She didn't even recognize herself anymore, but to say she wasn't anxious (in a good way) was a lie.
She was lost in her thought, until minutes later he came out wearing a denim jacket, which made him look even more handsome.
- Let's go? - He said and she followed him to an old car parked right in front of the bar.
He opened the door for her to get in and she thanked him by sitting in the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt as he closed the door. He sat down next to her right away, also putting on his belt.
- Hey, before we go: I didn't ask for your name! If you're going to take me home at least I have to know that- she asked realizing that she didn't even know that yet and he looked towards her smiling.
- Tom Holland. - He said stretching his hand. - Nice to meet you.
- Y/n Y/l/n- she said, squeezing his hand. And you can't deny that she felt butterflies in her stomach as she felt her skin on hers.
- Your name is not strange to me, I must have read it in one of your books in some shop window. - He said starting and leaving with the car.
- Yeah, who knows ... - she said and he turned on the radio leaving the volume low.
They were exchanging a few words until she indicated that they had arrived at the building where she lived. Tom parked and looked up in a daze.
- Wow, you really have money... - he said and she took off her belt turning towards him.
- A little bit...- she replied crossing her arms. - Well, thank you so much for the ride...
- You're welcome darling. - He said turning his eyes to her. Again that nickname that sounded perfect on his lips.
She turned around, but when she was about to open the door, she turned back to Tom, who was leaning with one hand on the steering wheel and watching her with attention. The next words escaped her again and she was afraid she'd regret it.
- Tom, do you want to come in? - She spoke still holding the door and the boy smiled.
- Sure ... - he said taking the key from the ignition and she shook her head slightly leaving.
He followed her and they entered the building. Tom looked at everything admired which made Y/n smile a little to herself. They entered the elevator and she pressed the penthouse button causing him to raise an eyebrow.
- You really must be a great writer. - he said and she laughed.
He leaned his back against the elevator wall, putting his hands in his pocket and looking her up and down, making her shy. He kept looking at her and it was making her nervous.
They were silent until the elevator opened after a while and they got out. Y/n put a password on the door and it swung open with a small click, she took held the latch and motioned for Tom to enter.
After the two of them entered she closed the door again behind her and watched Tom standing further on, looking around.
- Nice apartment...- he finally said.
- Thank you... - She leaned against the table at the entrance. She didn't know what to do next, maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him here. Why was she so impulsive that night? -Tom, I don't know why I invite you in, sorry...-she said a little nervous looking at her feet. He turned towards her, approaching and stopping in front of her.
- Are you sure you don't know? - He asked and she raised her head, seeing those brown eyes. She bit her bottom lip watching him closely. Damn he knew how to hypnotize her. He took another step and placed a hand on either side of her on the table, cornering her - Your body says otherwise, love... - he said softly feeling her breath hitch slowly and approaching his face to hers, alternating the look of your eyes to her lips. Y/n found another nickname that was perfect when he say.
He finally closed the distance by pressing his lips to hers. His lips were soft and warm, as if they were meant to be kissed. She returned the kiss willingly and when she laced her fingers in his neck, he licked her lower lip slowly asking for passage in which she opened them letting his tongue explore her mouth.
His hands gripped her waist and roamed her body greedily. As he kissed her, he caught her from behind her legs and sat her down on the entrance table, biting her bottom lip shortly after, provoking a low moan from her. He smiled against her lips and trailed kisses to her neck, attacking her skin with desire, making her throw her head back a little.
She grabbed his hair and pulled him back so she could kiss him. Which he gladly reciprocate. His kiss was urgent, but without being rude, he tasted like mint, making her want him even more.
His fingers found the button of her pants and he undid them quickly pulling them out, tossing them aside. When he came back he took her calf and kissed her leg up to her thighs, making her sigh. He moved up the kisses until he caught the hem of her shirt and pulled it up a little, kissing her stomach as well. Y/n didn't know what to do but feel goose bumps with every touch he gave. He then hiked up her shirt and she lifted her arms where he pulled her off, tossing along with her pants that were also on the floor.
She was just wearing her underwear in front of him, it made her a little excited and embarrassed at the same time, but the way he looked at her made her feel confident. He went back to kissing her body, this time kissing each covered breast in turn and reaching for the back of her bra and opening it. She helped him out tosiing to the side and he stood between her legs just watching her for a second, making her feel her cheeks heat up.
- Perfect... - he said with a low voice, as it was for himself and bent down to her breasts kissing each one of her nipples and then sucking them deliciously. Y/n moaned and bit her lip to keep her moans from getting louder, tangling her fingers in his hair again. He looked into her eyes for a few seconds and smiled slightly lowering his kisses to where she wanted him most.
He reached the hem of her panties and pulled them out slowly, kneeling between her legs and she looked at him with expectation. He returned the look and gave that smirk again.
- Look at you darling.... - That damn nickname. - Extremely wet and I haven't even touched you yet... - he said approaching and devouring her right away making her throw her head back with pleasure, biting her lips again to not sound so pathetic with her moans that insisted in wanting get out. - Oh, please don't drown out those wonderful sounds you make, I want to hear how good I'm making you feel. - He said in a husky tone, returning to his task after and she parted her lips letting her moans spread through the apartment.
****************************************************************************************
Y/n woke up the other day in her bed. She didn't even know how she got there, she just had flashes of the night before and how good she felt in each moment. She stretched and looked to the side seeing she was alone. She got up and put on a robe who was on the side of the bed.
After going to the bathroom and doing her morning hygiene routine she walked around the apartment looking around to see if Tom was somewhere else in the house, but found nothing. Which was understandable, it wasn't like she expected him to stay there and have breakfast with her and all.
She arrived in the kitchen and made black coffee and lean against the countertop. What that simple waiter had done to her was ridiculous, in a good sense, she felt great and kept remembering that accent that was stuck in her mind. He had consumed her in a way she had never imagined it she could be.
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Taking a deep breath she set down turning her notebook on. Then opened her book and started writing.
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drawlfoy · 4 years ago
Text
Mirror, Mirror Finale P.2
masterlist  request guidelines
pairing: draco x ravenclaw reader
request: yes very highly requested lol
summary: despite never speaking before, y/n has a big crush on draco malfoy, a particularly broody and obnoxious slytherin. what will happen when they finally have to start associating? and what if they run into a certain mirror that shows you what you truly desire?
warnings: cursing!
a/n: so ik i said this was gonna be out later this week but i love you guys too much! here it is...the final part of mirror, mirror! it’s weird to finally finish a series like this but ohhhh boy here we are
taglist: @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @mey-rapp @kaibie @blackpinkdolan @the-wiener-soldierrrrr @sugarbby99 @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop
word count: 2.1k
“About time you got off your arse.”
“Hello to you too, Rena,” Y/N sighed as she dropped her satchel on her bed. Her roommate watched, bemused, as she began to unpack her things. 
“How are you?” she asked, her voice noticeably softer. “I really missed you. We were all worried sick, you know.”
Y/N snorted, tossing her wrinkled robes on the bed and making a mental note to spell them neat later. “I do know. Madame Pomfrey was going to kill me for how many times she had to tell you to leave me and let me rest.” 
Rena’s eyes sparkled.
“I’m fine, thank you,” said Y/N. “I missed you too.”
The two sat in silence for a bit as the cold afternoon breeze wafted into their room, carrying the smell of fresh snow in. 
“So, anything exciting happen? Did anyone tell you anything….interesting?”
“No.” Y/N was about to turn back to her work before she caught the mischievous expression on Rena’s face. “What? Why?”
“Nothing,” she sang. “I’m just wondering. I have to catch up with my best friend, you know. It’s been forever.”
“It’s been the whole of four days.”
“It’s been forever,” she restated, jumping up and spinning Y/N around (who couldn’t help but allow a slow grin to spread across her face). 
“I was going crazy in there.” Y/N’s voice was considerably more serious. “I never told you, but--” she chose to ignore the look of anticipation written all over Rena’s face, “--Malfoy talked to me. And he was so nice to me, it was we--”
“That COWARD!” 
The outburst started Y/N, who dropped her things on the floor in shock. “I’m sorry? Rena, what happened?”
“I can’t tell you,” said Rena, her tone dutiful and mournful. “It’s not my place. Anyways, what did that loser do?”
“Er,” began Y/N, “I don’t know how much of it was real or if it was because I was on pain potion, but he and I--I don’t know, flirted? There was a lot of banter, and before he knew it he pulled me off the ground--”
“You were on the ground?”
“--he pulled me off the ground and picked the gravel out of my palms.” Y/N swallowed as she recounted the instance. She’d never seen him look so soft before. “He said he had something he wanted to tell me, and his voice got all strange.”
“And then?” 
“And then Madame Pomfrey came to yell at me and basically--oh god, Rena, she basically told him that I dreamt of him!”
Rena snorted with laughter. “Shit, dude. I don’t think you should worry, though. You’d think any bloke with half a brain would’ve figured out that you were obsessed with him by now.”
“Shut up.” Y/N’s face was hot. “Anyways, I haven’t seen him since. I’d prefer if we could stop talking about this.”
“Sure, sure.” She took in a breath. “Wait, what about rounds? Don’t you still have to see him?”
“No. Flitwick told me I’m off. At least until next month.” If she sped through the thought, it didn’t hurt as much.
“Ending of a chapter, huh? How are you feeling about that?”
Y/N sighed. “Honestly, Rena, I love you, you know I do, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Okay? It’s over.”
If her words carried any deeper meaning to Rena, she didn’t show it. “Lighten up, girly. Maybe it’s not.”
“All I’ve done is make a fool of myself,” lamented Y/N, throwing her empty satchel in the closet and collapsing onto her bed. “I’m just going to go back to what everything was before. This hasn’t changed anything. Now, Rena, I have a Potions exam to study for.”
“Whatever floats your boat.”
~
Her interactions with Draco were few and far between in the following weeks. Sometimes she caught a few glimpses of a pale blonde head of hair as she walked down the halls to her classes, but nothing concrete, nothing even close to the amount of interaction they had while she was still bound to her rounds. 
It was certainly a punch in the gut--after all, she did spend a good portion of her academic career thirsting over him--but the sensible part of her knew that this was for the better. Her schoolwork became her top priority again, just like it had been the years before she was assigned to be his partner.
So, given this pattern of communication, it was fair to say that Y/N was completely and utterly flabbergasted when she saw Draco waiting by the entry of her common room at 11pm one night.
“Can I help you?” she asked as she shifted the books in her satchel to be secured over her shoulder.
“Yes, actually,” he said smoothly, not tripping over his words in the slightest. “I have rounds tonight.”
“I’m aware.” She hoped that he couldn’t hear her heart pounding the way that it was.
“And I’m out of Wide-eye potion.” 
“That really sucks,” Y/N said as she held up her hand on the door of the common room, uttering the riddle’s answer under her breath before she stepped in. 
“Wait!” His voice turned her around--it was pleading, almost desperate. “I have an exam tomorrow. No one in Slytherin has any. Snape would kick my arse for waking him up now. I know you have some left over since you never finished the rounds, and I--I understand if you don’t want to but it doesn’t have a very good shelf life anyways and I was hoping you’d...that you’d be alright with giving it to me.”
She paused, completely stunned. The most hopeful part of her wondered if he had made this up, but she squelched this with a force that nearly knocked the wind out of her. “Fine. Come with me, you must be freezing outside.” 
Y/N wasn’t wrong--the weather had taken a turn in the past few days to be bitterly cold--but it wasn’t like she’d object seeing him for any longer. She mentally cursed herself for being so weak-willed.
Draco looked pleasantly surprised at the suggestion and stepped into the common room with her, following her up until she reached the base of the stairs. “I’ll wait here.”
“If you’re comfortable,” she began, “I’d honestly prefer if you came with me. I don’t want to explain to anyone why I let you into our common room unsupervised.”
He looked like his mind was buffering the information for a second, standing with a glazed look in his eyes before he sucked in a breath and became the picture of confidence once again. “Want me in your room that bad?”
Yes.
“You wish.”
He scoffed as they climbed the stairs, Y/N a few steps above him. She thought that if she maintained the space he wouldn’t see how hard she was shaking and wondered where Rena was. Studying with Hermione like she told her she was? She hoped.
Y/N stopped in front of her door at the very end of the hall, decorated with a banner that had their names displayed in glittering bronze letters that moved in the light. “Ok. You can come in with me if you want--it might be a couple minutes since I don’t quite remember where it is.”
He looked amused with himself as she got out her wand and attempted to unlock her door with the specialized charm she and Rena had decided upon. Mortifyingly enough, her hand was too shaky to execute it.
“Hey, hey,” Draco tutted, holding his hand out. It enveloped hers and held her wand still as she muttered the incantation, unlocking the door and swinging it open. 
“Er...thanks,” she said. His hand was still over hers. 
Y/N broke the eye contact to dart through the door to a thankfully dark and empty room--if Rena had seen that, she never would’ve let her hear the end of that--and began rifling through her drawers as Draco shut the door and examined her room.
“You’re flustered,” he noted as she tipped over one of her candlesticks and just barely managed to catch it. “Is everything okay? Trouble in paradise, little Ravenclaw?”
“Like you care.” Y/N shut the desk drawer with an audible BANG. “And don’t call me that. Rowena Ravenclaw is rolling in her grave hearing you infantilize her good name like that.”
Draco laughed from his stance by her door--a sound that she hated to admit that she really missed. “I take back what I said. You certainly sound like yourself.”
Y/N’s fingers finally closed around the last bottle of Wide-Eye, which was quickly tossed to Draco. “Happy now?”
He sent her a strangely weak smile as he slipped the vial into his pocket, no doubt silk lined and expensive. “Sure. So this is goodbye? Actually?”
“I think...I think so.” 
Y/N had moved closer to him so only about a foot stood between them, a distance that felt like a mile from where she stood. 
This is goodbye.
Draco was making a motion to turn around and open the door when Y/N experienced the most severe lapse of judgement in the entirety of her 17 years.
She sprung forward, her fingers curling around the satiny soft fabric of his tie and pulling. Her motion was rough enough that he jolted forward, his eyes wide with surprise as Y/N closed in and pressed her lips to his in a very chaste and ungraceful movement. 
The split second that it took for her to realize the consequences of her actions was enough for her to let go completely and jump away, apologies readily falling out of her mouth in disjointed and clumsy collections. 
“I’m so sorry...Oh my god...I have no idea what got into me...Draco, I--”
Before she could finish, his hands were already cupping her face, his frame bent down the slightest so he could be more level with her. And he was--oh--he was kissing her, actually properly this time, without the tense closed-offness of her first attempt.
When Y/N imagined what it was like to kiss Draco Malfoy, she didn’t imagine him to be so soft. Or warm. Or gentle, or pliant, or whatever other good things he was to her as he snaked her arms around her and held her tight to him.
His kisses turned feverish, almost desperate as he turned her so she was pressed up between him and the wall. Everywhere his hands touched felt charged with electricity and energy, and as his hands traveled up and down her spine she decided that this must be what it’s like to die of happiness. 
“Draco,” she managed in between kisses, pulling away for air for just a moment and sliding back down so her feet touched the floor again. “Can we talk? About this?”
“Thanks,” he responded, his eyes glittering with endearment. “I almost forgot you were a Ravenclaw.”
“Shut up.” 
He grinned but made no effort to step away from her, instead choosing to drag his fingers up and down the side of her exposed neck. “What’s there to talk about? I like you, you like me, there’s nothing we need to do to complicate this further.”
“You...you what?”
“Yes, genius, what else did you think I was planning on telling you that day in the courtyard,” Draco said. “I’ve been avoiding you because I thought you were over me. That was horribly embarrassing, you know. Had to nurse my ego for weeks before I could garner up the courage to speak to you again.” He stopped to gently press the pad of his thumb into the little dimple she had in her left cheek, smiling uncontrollably as he moved his hand back to cup her face.
“How was I supposed to know that?” argued Y/N. 
“Isn’t this supposed to be the smart house?” he teased. 
She slapped his shoulder. “Don’t make me decide I don’t like you anymore.”
“Oh, so you admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“That you like me?”
“I’m going to scream.”
“Just from kissing me? Wow, I must be good.”
“I mean it!”
“So do I!”
Y/N gazed up at the boy in front of her for a few beats, admiring how the moonlight bounced off the silvery strands of his hair and how his smile reached every corner of his face. 
“I take back what I said,” she told him.
“Oh, and what is that?”
“This isn’t goodbye.”
He smiled again, leaning in close so his lips barely brushed her ear. “No. No, it isn’t.”
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