#sorry gonna drop the song-lyric titles

[jay-simps]

If you had a bad day, if it was exhausting, if it was stressful, or even if it was simply not going how you planned:

Imagine your f/o(s) noticing as soon as either you or they got home. They immediately drop everything to console you.

Maybe they make/get some of your favorite foods. Maybe they put on a song/show/movie you enjoy. Maybe they simply cuddle with you, holding you close. Any way they show you affection, they only want you to feel good. And so they do, in a way tailor-made for you.

Remember, your f/o(s) love you very much.

[heartofwritiing]

home is wherever you are tonight

paring: cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader

summary: its your birthday, a day you dread every year due to bad memories, and wilbur manages to change your mindset.

authors note: this has been sitting in my drafts since march and i forgot about it oops. this is completely self indulgent. Ive dreaded my birthday for the past five years because of personal reasons… i thought maybe writing a non-shitty fake birthday would make me feel better so, it did lol. enjoy!! :)

warnings: self indulgent, mentions of childhood trama, negative past events, mentions of toxic family, fluff, Wilbur being the cutest-best boyfriend, hurt-comfort, yes the title is a lyric from a lizzy mcalpine song.. unedited!

The day had come. the day you dreaded every year for as long as you could remember. it was your birthday.

Most people would be elated about turning another year older, to celebrate but not you. Instead, it filled you with utter disinterest and resentment. To you, it was just another day on the calendar.

Ever since you could remember you’ve just hated your birthday. Each year just felt like they got worse and worse with the number of times You had been let down. Whether it was by family drama or people just forgetting. It was the same every year. So when you finally moved away from your toxic relatives you pretty much forget about it. Only remembering when you'd get a text from your parents to wish you a happy birthday. At least they remembered now that you were gone...

You were relieved when no one at work had brought it up. you never really talked to your coworkers about your personal life, you weren't that type of person. Still, you were grateful the only attention you got today was from one of your peers Matt, asking about the printer in the office not working right.

When you walked into your flat, what you weren’t expecting was too see your boyfriend standing near the door waiting for you.

“why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” Wilbur asks in a slightly offended tone.

The front door hasn’t even shut yet and he’s caught you completely off guard with his question. Your heart drops in your stomach.

“hello to you too,” you snort, putting your bag down and sliding your jacket off. "And how'd you even know?" Avoiding the question. Cause that will make this better.

he sighs.

“Answer the question please, love,”

You’re toeing off the uncomfortable shoes you were required to wear at your job as you blankly bink back at him.

You can tell by the frowned expression on his face that he wasn’t just gonna let you drop this anytime soon. His arms are crossed over his sweater, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows as his curls fall around his eyes.

“maybe because it's not a big deal,” you shrugged. Wilbur stops you with a hand on your shoulder before you can escape to your shared room. It wasn't forceful but gentle, his eyes asking you to stay, talk, anything. You just wanted to go to bed and sleep until your shift tomorrow and just forget about this whole day.

"What do you mean by that?" he asks. "I don't particularly like my birthday but still celebrate with friends, family, and loved ones."

There it was.

You wanted to avoid this.

"Look, I don't want to pressure you into talking about this, you can tell me when you're ready. I can tell how uncomfortable you got when I asked you outright why you didn't say anything about it being your birthday, I'm sorry..."

You could tell he was just confused and who could blame him. You had only been dating for about a year and finally moved in together last month. He didn't want to pressure you into anything you weren't ready for, which was one of the many things you adored about him. Always so patient and thoughtful about your feelings and well-being.

There was no avoiding it now as he asked the question. Your heart beating in your ears.

“Why don’t you like your birthday, love?”

“well…” you began, but you could feel the lump in your throat forming as you thought carefully how to put it. You clear your throat and take a deep breath. “I just, have a lot of trauma revolving around today,”

Wilbur has moved slowly towards you now, almost like you were a spooked animal and he was trying to calm you. He listened carefully as you spoke slowly.

“my parents fought a lot growing up, and even on my birthday they just didn’t seem to care, even for one day, so i mostly spent my birthdays alone.”

The look in his eyes says it all. He feels so heartbroken for you. You collapsed into his chest and he wrapped you in his arms, squeezing you firmly and you felt the weight in your chest fading.

"Well listen, I got you your favorite type of cake, a good bottle of wine, not that cheap shit, the really nice one we liked. we're gonna sit on the couch and eat, and you can tell me all about your day." he pauses only to bring your face out from his chest to look you in your eyes. "and then, we're gonna cuddle and I'm gonna tell you how much I love and appreciate you."

With that, he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs and kisses your nose softly. You swear that press of his lips was what made you cave. You began to break down in front of him.

Wilbur's hands seem to be the only thing keeping you upright at the moment. If he wasn't holding you, you were sure you would have fallen to your knees by now. You sob silently as you take his wrists in your hands but don't remove them from your cheeks. The intensity of the long work day and all the recurring memories this day brought you every year, combined with Wilbur's sweet gestures and words made you break.

You felt everything come down on you all at once, yet there Wilbur was, always waiting for you at the end of the day. Always there to comfort you and support you. So these weren’t sad tears no, they were happy tears. Finally, you found someone who cherished you and cared for you enough.

-

@trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @highstonedcat

[angsthology]

Pay Attention to Things That Most People Ignore ☆ LS2

logan sargeant is most definitely not most people. it was time he started learning how

characters/pairings; daughter of poseidon!reader, chiron, mr. d, son of apollo!logan, theo (oc), son of athena!oscar.

warnings; monsters, typical pjo-type violence, logan is hopeless but that’s okay! some chb innacurracy sorry i havent read the books in a while, err very rushed writing im sorry, LAWD this is a mess i tell u 😭 perhaps i hate it — 3k words.

a/n; is the title... an all-american bitch lyric? yes. why? im not good and titles and i went to that song in instinct... for no reason. also this was based on a request — though i do admit its a little bit different as i would (hopefully) be making a part 2 hehe. by now im realizing how this title prob has nothin to do with the story

Over the years, she’s come to accept her life. Did it hurt when it felt like her entire life ended? Of course. Does it still hurt when she turns on the television to see them basically rubbing it on her face? —Whatever.

In theory, she probably could’ve gotten away with it had she not been a daughter of one of the big three—thanks a lot, dad. —but it was proven one too many times that it was not safe for her or any of the other kids. If it didn’t put anyone else’s life at risk, she would’ve disobeyed her mother, she really would (she was a child, she really hasn’t grasped the full concept of what other people would feel).

But, you know, oh well.

It’s sixteen years later and she still has that lingering grudge in the back of her head as the screen plays another Grand Prix — another Grand Prix she could’ve probably been a part of.

She tried, she really tried so hard to forget about it, to let go of it, but again, it was proven to be way too hard to let go of something she had an actual chance of, an actual good chance.

Though it might be hard to let go, she couldn’t really complain much about the life she actually had now.

Sure, it gets pretty lonely sometimes being a forbidden child, there weren’t exactly much of them (that are known and living at camp). But she had everyone else, despite practically being an only child at camp, to her everyone else there were her little siblings—of course, that probably has something to do with the fact that she was the oldest camper and the one who has been there longest.

When she heard a set of the all-too-familiar clops her heart dropped from its current fast-paced beating.

She quickly closed your laptop shut, cringing when you heard how loud of a sound it had made. That was it. She didn’t even try hiding her disappointment in herself. She slowly emerged from under the blanket with her lips tightly-wound shut, bracing herself with whatever the Centaur will have to say, her mind playing a quick telepathic farewell to her laptop.

“Hello, Y/N.”

She sighed, “Chiron.”

“Where and how?”

She swallowed the pre-existing nerves in her throat, “Mr. D.”

He hummed in response, so she continued.

“A pack of Heineken and two bottles of Jack Daniels.”

“Hm, good picks.” She responded lowly under her breath with a small ‘yeah’ as Chiron walked closer to the head of her bed near the bed-side table—his hooves making clopping noises each step.

The silence was taking too long to her liking so she just went to get it over with, “So, you’re gonna take it away from me?” she paused, then mumbling under her breath for herself, “—it’s probably another Red Bull win, anyway.”

Apparently, it was loud enough for the Centaur to hear, making him chuckle.

Surprisingly, he didn’t mention anything else about the laptop, “Who do you support?”

Hearing the question quickly made her look up from her fidgeting hands to see the smile on his face, she screwed her brows in confusion as she continues to look at Chiron for—something. Then, realizing that he was still waiting for an answer, she shook her head.

“Uhm—well, uh—”

“You think that Lando will ever get a win?”

That seemed to loosen her up, “Ugh, Gods, I hope. I’m getting exhausted over here—you know, sometimes I really wish I could ask the Oracle about it.”

He chuckled then which made her crack a smile.

When it died down, Chiron looked at her smiling face. He couldn’t help but frown a little, he knew how she felt about racing, he knew how she still feels about it.

“Y/N.”

She looks up at him, “Yeah?”

“So, I am aware that your birthday is nearing…”

“I mean… why wouldn’t you be? I’m here all-year-round.”

Chiron cleared his throat at her interruption, giving her a look.

“Sorry.”

He acknowledged and continued, “I am also aware that it lines up with a certain event…”

She raised an eyebrow it that, almost guessing what that said ‘event’ was.

“So,” he stopped, initially had her thinking he was just pausing but when he left out the door of her cabin she raised her hands as if saying ‘what gives?’

Seconds passed and it seemed like Chiron wasn’t going to come back any time soon so instead she stumbled off of her bed to quickly catch up to the Centaur that was headed to a building—the girl almost caught up to him, almost following him into the building but he was already back out in a good few seconds, stopping her right in front of the set of stairs, raising both her hands in question once more, “You just left. ‘So’, what?”

“I have it arranged that you will be attending the Miami Grand Prix.” He smiled as he handed her a lanyard.

She swore her eyes looked like it could’ve popped out of their sockets in a matter of seconds. She couldn’t believe what she was holding; a paddock pass. She couldn’t believe Chiron had done this for her considering how careful of a man (well, half-man) he is especially with her being a forbidden child. This was about to turn into the best birthday yet.

When she looked up to the smiling Chiron, her mouth still hung open in shock but her arms immediately wrapped around the man’s body in a bone-crushing hug.

She didn’t know how many ‘thank you’s that spilled out of her mouth but next thing she knew he was hugging her back with a chuckle escaping his lips.

After a few more ‘thank you’s from her, she pulled away smiling at him, “I thought you’d rather keep me here forever, why now?”

He cleared his throat, “Well, you are turning twenty-one, not many of you reach that kind of age—don’t tell them I said that—so I’d like to make it a bit more special.”

Still smiling, she looked at the paddock pass in her hand again, “You don’t know how much I appreciate this, Chi. Thank you, again.”

Being there felt… odd… unnatural.

She always thought if she were ever walking through the paddocks she would be walking as a driver.

What was even more odd was she felt her senses tingling, like she was being watched.

It was a bustling crowded place with many more interesting people compared to her, so it was weird to her that she felt like she was being watched of all people.

But alas, she brushed it off. It didn’t feel like anything bad—if it were, she would know—so she’s just going to have to save that thought for later.

She had to remind herself why she’s here; daydream in real-time of what could’ve been.

Yeah, she weren’t really keen on letting that go.

That is, until she was into her head she failed to notice the person—and group of people that came with said person—she was running into.

Before she knew it, a strong arm was holding her back with too much force for her liking, the action itself almost kicking in her self defense instinct until the person she did bump into pushed the hand away.

He was now talking to her, she assumed, but she was too focused on the person who had pushed her away.

Something about him felt… off. He was what she would count as freakishly huge for a normal human being, her eyes couldn’t help but recalculate the large man over and over until eventually the person that has been trying to get her attention snaps her out of it.

“Sorry, that’s Theo, he’s like that. I swear he doesn’t mean any harm.”

The scowl she hadn’t realized that made it’s way to her face slowly dropped as she slowly move her gaze to the person that was talking to her.

When their eyes met, she swore she saw a flash of something pass by his expression.

“Yeah,” she finally let go of this ‘Theo’ person and found her words, “Sorry I bumped into you.”

“That’s fine.” There was a brief silence across them until he cleared his throat, “I’m Logan, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know. You drive for Williams.” She replied flatly.

He cleared his throat again, scanning her for the shortest moment, “Do I know you?”

She looked to his eyes again with a small squint. “Most likely not. Good luck, bye.”

Before he could say anything else she was already speed-walking away. And for some odd reason, Logan found himself watching her walk away before getting pulled away himself just in the same time as the girl turned around to give a watchful eye.

It was getting annoying. This was supposed to be a weekend to enjoy but she could not help but feel that uneasiness creeping up on her. Over the years she had somewhat mastered the ability—well more the ability mastering her—of sensing bad things, whether that was events or creatures alike.

So, to simply put that together, that’s how she found herself sneaking around the Williams garage. Not hospitality, garage.

From years of quests here and there, many hours of weapons training, and not to mention capture the flag schemings with other campers, she had mastered the skill of being sneaky. It really did work well in her favor.

What she didn’t expect was to be completely entranced the moment she got into the busy garage; it was the first time she was seeing a real life-size F1 car in real-time.

Everything was so enchanting to her, it felt like she was reliving her childhood dreams all over again. When she had gone through with her plan, she didn’t really register the fact that she was going to go face to face with an actual working Formula One garage.

She really tried to stay focused on the task at hand but it really was in her blood to be unfocused.

“Hey!”

Somehow, just somehow, she had heard his voice over the loud noises around her and just somehow, she knew he was addressing her.

Immediately, she tried to hide or duck behind something—anything just so she didn’t have to face him.

Before she knew it a hand was gripping her upper arm and pulling her somewhere quieter and she was met with green eyes that looked at her with suspicion.

“Are you like a fan or something?”

She was taken aback by his words.

“…what?”

“Are you following me?”

“What—no. I mean not you specifically—why did I say that.” she whispered the last part to herself. If she was being honest, she hasn’t really been brushing up her skills in socializing with anyone else that weren’t the campers.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing! I—”

Their conversation—if you could’ve called it that anyway—was interrupted by the same man she had been suspecting from earlier.

“There you are.” It was the first time she was hearing his voice and just by that she already knew that they were going to be in big trouble. His voice was low and unnerving, saying the words as if he’s been searching for them not for worried purposes rather unfortunate ones.

Logan didn’t seem to have the same feeling as her as he looked more relieved among other things to see the man. “Theo!” he greeted while throwing his hands in the air, “What’s up, man?”

Fortunately for Logan, Theo wasn’t exactly paying attention to him instead looking at the girl in front of him instead.

When he noticed he tried to interfere, “Oh, no, don’t worry about her, she’s not harmful.” He then realized he didn’t exactly know this girl so he looked at her with questioning eyes, “You aren’t, right?”

Except her focus didn’t waver from the big man that looked at her with a stare that tried to kill.

Logan, still clueless, looked between the two back and forth in confusion until Theo said something that really caught his attention.

“Daughter of Poseidon.” Theo growled.

Logan’s head couldn’t snap towards her faster.

“Shit.” She mumbled under her breath.

Before they knew it, she had grabbed a hold of his hand and running away with it, Logan still very much in shock at this new information he attained.

Through empty places and crowded ones, the girl forgot that the man she had ahold of weren’t just anyone but a very real and hard-to-miss Formula One driver. Sure, he was a rookie but a driver nonetheless.

But she couldn’t care less about the attention she was gaining; she was far too busy running for her life than think about cameras and the public.

“What the hell was he talking about? Poseidon?!” she didn’t answer his panicked question so he continued instead, “Are you a half-blood too?”

The ‘too’ in his question was what finally caught her attention but still, she didn’t answer him, only cursing herself for not noticing one when she saw one.

Just when she thought they had lost them, the monster once disguised as Theo was standing there at the end of the opening, she and Logan had slipped in.

Next thing she knew she was fumbling around trying to fight off the apparent Giant that was Theo.

“What the hell are you doing there, mind a little help over here?” she yelled over at Logan who was pretty much… useless in the corner.

He continued to panic, looking for anything he could use to get the Giant off of her.

Suddenly, while she was struggling to get the Giant’s grip off of her, the force stopped as a cloud of mist poofed where the monster was once before. She quickly scrambled herself up and was met with a figure in McLaren clothing holding a gold-dust colored weapon pointing at her.

“Oscar Piastri?!”

He didn’t answer her, dagger still pointing at her direction, “Who are you?”

Putting her hands out in defense she explained herself, “I respect that.” she commented, “I’m Y/N L/N, I am the daughter of Poseidon,” then she cautiously pointed at the Australian, “I’m assuming you’re a half-blood too.” she nodded at him, “Who do you belong to?”

Oscar then slowly lowered his weapon, his trust building by the minute, “Athena.”

Then both of them turn to Logan simultaneously.

“No!” he got defensive immediately, “I want to know what just happened!” he pointed accusingly.

All of a sudden, it just finally hit Oscar, “Poseidon?!”

The sea god’s daughter made a face and ignored the Australian, “What do you mean what just happened? Typical demigod stuff!”

The look on his face made her double-take, “You… do have occasional encounters with monsters here and there… right?”

When Logan’s expression doesn’t change, she turns to Oscar.

“I have this for a reason.” He said slowly, showing her the dagger. “—and, well, if I’m being honest, that has never happened before.”

“Shit.” she shakes her head in disappointment then pulling out her phone, “I need to make a phone call.”

She left the two men by themselves and went ahead as the line rings a couple of times before getting an answer.

After a brief conversation—that will continue later for details—the girl locked her phone and walked towards the two drivers.

“You’re coming with me this summer. It will not be up for debate and don’t worry about your… duties, I have it covered.”

Logan was quick to stop her explanations, “Wait—what—no! At least explain what the hell that phone call was about. You can’t just drop all that on us and expect us to be okay with it.

She rolls her eyes, “I’ll explain later, right now, you two have a job to do.” They didn’t object to that, the three of them walking out the pretty-hidden space the Giant had decided to corner them before.

Oscar stopped just outside, “I can take care of myself if anything else decide to come out and attack me, you should probably go with him. And uh, I actually need to talk to you,” he pointed at her, “—later. Not exactly letting you off the hook that easily.”

She didn’t complain.

The two walked in silence, every once in a while getting stopped for a picture and such, until Logan speaks up.

“Apollo.”

She turned to him, eyebrow raised.

“My dad.”

“Oh.” She paused then comments, “Fitting.”

He didn’t know what it was in her voice, it didn’t sound exactly like a compliment but he wasn’t sure if it was an insult.

Whatever, he shrugged it off.

After that, they both went into their own train of thoughts.

Without noticing, they both sucked in a breath in unison.

“I’m sorry for—”

“I think you should—”

The two quickly stepped back from whatever it was they were going to say, heat rushing up their necks. They kept walking on the awkward silence that fell upon them until Logan re-focused his attention and remembering what she had said—well, what she almost said earlier.

“Wait—‘sorry’? What were you apologizing for?” he turned to her who was now ducking away from his eyes, her own focus stayed on her fidgeting hands.

She made a noise before finally finding her words, “It’s just—this always happens, you know. I’m a forbidden kid, I attract the worst kind of trouble there is for half-bloods. And earlier; I had brought it to you and Oscar.” he was going to say something to ease her guilt but she beat him to it, “I’m just glad that monster didn’t hurt any of you.” She threw her hands in the air, “I mean, it’s qualifying day for Gods sake! —maybe I shouldn’t go to the race tomorrow.” She mumbled the last part to herself, though not quietly enough that the driver didn’t hear.

Logan was taken aback by her statement, giving him an opening on his almost-offer.

“What—no! Why not?” he asked.

“Look, it’s bad enough that there’s two demigods in one place; adding a forbidden kid in the mix won’t really make it any better. I still want everyone to have a safe race. Who knows what kind of other monsters I could attract.”

From every point of view Logan could gather, it was simply a fact that this girl knows about their world far more than he did, far more than Oscar did, so he couldn’t really be the voice of judgement in whatever she had to say. But… he wanted her to stay.

It calmed him down for some reason, knowing someone shares the same—if not, worse—fate as you.

So, he tried to find a reason, a good reason to make her stay. Of course, he wasn’t a pro at this half-blood thing so he offered something that he was familiar with. He gave her a more… human reason.

“I think you should stay.” He blurted.

“Logan—”

“Dude—is it alright if I called you that?”

“Uh, go nuts.”

“You deserve to have some fun, watch a race! I’ll even have you as an official Williams guest!”

She hummed with a smile creeping up.

“And if you’re worried about trouble, that’s fine. We can always handle trouble! We are all trouble-bound any way, better face them now than later! Plus, I think it’d be good if you could teach us the basics early.”

She felt the warmth spread through her chest. It’s been a while since she felt someone so welcoming that wasn’t anyone within Camp Half-blood. It was nice. He was nice. Almost made her forget that she was in the place she was meant to be in.

Her heart felt wholesome, but didn’t make it show, her mouth couldn’t stop the comment from escaping her mouth instead.

“You really want me to stay, huh?”

[chronic-ghost]

title: nose as long as a telephone wire

rating: M (just for language)

pairing: javier peña x f!reader

word count: 4412

summary: you get too caught up in a phone call with your favorite DEA agent and accidentally let slip something very personal.

warnings: light angst, language, mentions of the cartel, mentions of drinking, obnoxious intros, comedy? i think i’m funny, part of a series but you can read alone

a/n: song lyrics come from Bad, Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce, and the last ones come from Tom Waits’ Yesterday is Here. Hope the anon who requested the series likes this - sequel to Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

🤍Series Masterlist | Previous | Next🤍AO3 Link 🤍Masterlist

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

A girl walks into a poker hall in Florida. 

She joins the game.

She wins. Everyone asks, ‘well, how’d that happen?’

Girl says, ‘I got magic powers that tell me when you’re lying.’

Wide-eyed, they all ask, ‘really?’

She says, ‘yep, and now you owe me fifty grand.’

They all laugh and easily hand over the money.

And then they try to kill her. 

Okay, sorry, that one isn’t all that funny. 

What about this one?

A girl walks into a diner in Texas at two in the morning. 

She’s scared, tired, and hungry. She solves most of these problems by ordering the biggest burger on the menu and pouring five shots of Crown Royal in her milkshake. And because she’s a lie detector and a lightweight, it all goes straight to her head. 

She starts to tell the guy next to her about her little situation in the poker hall. Guy’s nice, sympathetic, asks enough follow up questions to make him appear interested. 

And then he goes and lies to her. 

Girl says, ‘please don’t kill me, sir!’

And the guy says, in a gruff and very serious voice, ‘I’m not gonna kill you, I’m DEA.’

Oh, and, like, this guy is smokin’ hot. Like just come off the grill hot. Like you pick him up and you burn your fingers – ay, caliente! Like danger and sex all wrapped up into one. Oof, Mama Mia and the rest of the cast in Greece, y’know what I’m saying?

So, DEA agent wants to help. 

They flirt, they fight, and just as it seems, this one thing is going well, this only bright light in her life may actually hold a candle, she knows what she has to do.

She TASERS his ass. And all six feet of hotness drops, like a sack of potatoes. 

Girl drives off, knowing he’s better off without her.

. . . oh, you were expecting a punchline? 

Sorry, folks, this ain’t that kinda story. That girl just ain’t that kind of girl. 

Truth is . . . 

Funny little word, truth. It’s implicit that truth and trust come in the same bag. When you tell someone you trust them, you expect them to tell you the truth. Is it possible to have one without the other? If the truth is what we believe it to be, then how fragile is our trust? 

If you taser someone and leave them literally by the side of the road, what have you broken? Their trust or their understanding about the truth of who you are?

But what about –

“Okay, that’s enough philosophizing to my ten-year-old. I gotta get her ready for school then I gotta vacuum this rug before the day rush. Scoot.” Maria knocks your boots off the end of the bright red couch in the lobby of the Motel 6 on route 22 and you grin sheepishly up at her.

“Aw, c’mon, Mare, this is good for the kid. She’s learning so much.” You glance over at Maria’s daughter, Rio, ready to have her defend your proselytizing – when you meet her heated and leveled glare. You’ve never seen such a small child radiate such annoyance.

“Your jokes suck.” 

With a scowl, she stomps to her feet and lets her mother lead her off down the hall to one of the other empty hotel rooms, glaring at you over her shoulder. 

You wave a hand to her as you go, smiling flatly. “Thank you, Mare! I owe you one! And thank you so much, little girl, I’ll be here all week.” You dig into your coat pocket and pull out your half-way empty packet of smokes. “Everyone’s a friggin’ critic.” 

“Hey, you there! You can’t be smoking in here!” 

Birdie, another maid whom you promised to stay out of her way if she kept your “hideout” in one of the second floor empty rooms a secret, snaps at you over the counter. The hotel phone at the front desk rings and she answers it with one hand as she shoos you off. “Go on, take it outside!” 

Groaning, your body aching from the toll of driving forty-eight hours straight, you stand up, the unlit smoke between your lips. “Alright, alright, I’m going. Might die before I get there, but I’m going.”

But the other maid barks at you again, asking your name. 

“Monologue McQueen, that’s you, right?” She has the red handle pressed against her shoulder. “You’ve got a phone call.” 

The toll of outrunning the law and the cartel had taken its turn on Baby as well and the call is no doubt the mechanic calling with an update. You could have kissed Maria all over her face when she let you in at midnight and slipped you a key to a room at the end of the complex. She did owe you one after you proved her brother didn’t kill his boss – but that’s a story for another time. 

“Just send it up to my room, alright, Birdie? I’ll take it there. Thank you.”

You trudge out of the hotel lobby in the bright Colorado sunlight and take a deep breath. Colorado is markedly different from Texas. More mountains. More green. Less roads . . . and even less mouth-watering DEA agents. 

You stretch till you hear something crack and you shake out your head. Things had been going pretty well since Texas too. Made some money here and there – legally this time. You still hadn’t decided what to do with the fifty grand in your trunk (which had since been removed while Baby went to the doctor’s) but having it nearby was nice. A parachute if things got bad – or worse-r than they had been. But, counting no more run-ins with any government men or better yet, a complete lack of presence from the cartel – it seemed like everything that had happened since Florida was finally fading into the background. 

You light the cigarette as you bounce up the concrete steps. Using Maria’s master key, you let yourself into the small dark room that looked heaven-sent after days on the road. Dark wood paneled walls, orange carpet, a lime-green tiled bathroom, a rug that could make you dizzy if you stared at it for too long. Perfect. And you can smoke all you want. You breathe out into the low sunlit room and smoke wavered white then gray as it swam through the shadows. 

Sighing and realizing you should probably eat soon if you were going to pick up Baby, you toss off your jacket onto the bed. There’s a blinking red light over the phone as you pick up the receiver and sit down on the mattress. 

“Yellow.” You slip your cigarette into the ashtray and wait.

“Hey there,” the deep masculine voice drawls, “it’s Baby Cow Eyes. How’ve ya been?”

Either your knees buckled or the mattress dropped you but you hit the ground with a thump. 

“What was that?” 

Eyes level with the window, the glass covered by a gauzy white curtain, you inch down to the floor, one vertebrae at a time, the plastic phone shoved tightly against your ear. You think you can hear him breathing on the other line but that might be your own frantic panting. Shitshitshit. 

“Nothing,” you mutter. If you can get underneath the window, he might pass your room by. “Nothing at all.” 

“Why are you whispering? I’m not literally in the room.” 

The phone cradled by your shoulder, you slither, one arm at a time along that nauseating carpet, as far as the cord will allow. This is perfectly normal behavior for an adult woman. 

“And what room would that be?” You breathe, softly. “Huh, Agent Pena?” You think you see a flutter of movement on the other side of the window and you jerk back against the door, toes clenched, eyes shut, and bottom lip bitten to the point of pain. 

“I don’t know.” 

Your eyes pop open. “What?” 

The bastard actually laughs. 

“If you know what hotel I’m at,” you hiss, jerking the curtain to the side from your protected corner to peer out into the open hallway, “why aren’t you kicking down doors and swinging around that big, thick badge?” 

“Why do you think?” You think you can hear the chunk of a gas pump turning off. 

“Psychological warfare. You’re gonna nuke the motel from space. Who knows?

You had to drop off Baby at the mechanics and one of his crew gave you a ride back to the motel. That was this morning and since then, not another car had pulled into the motel’s parking lot. Crouching on your knees, you spare a glance into the parking lot below. Still empty. 

Over the phone, Javi’s sigh is garbled. “That sounds like a lot of work, sweetheart.” 

Your fingers tightened around the plastic. “But you are coming for me, right?”

He inhales and, in the space, you hear the car door slam shut. “That’s right.” 

You put the receiver against your chest and, as silent as a church mouse, you mouth:

F U C K

“You still there?” The vibrations are muffled in your shirt. 

“Where are you?” you ask, shoving the phone back against your ear. You scan the parking lot one more time just in case of a surprise attack. “At least do the sporting thing and give me a head start.” 

Javi huffs over the rumble of the engine as it overturns. “Oh, hell no. You got your one and only head start two days ago. When you tased me.”

“Okay, see, you sound mad about that. My concern about psychological warfare doesn’t seem so crazy now, does it?” 

“I’m not mad.” You could almost picture the frown, dark eyebrows drawn in, glaring at the phone like it had personally offended him.

You grimace. “How’s your face?”

There’s a pause, as if he wasn’t expecting that question. 

“It’s fine. Had worse,” he grumbles. “Barely even feel it any more.”

“When you growl like that, it makes me feel like you’re still mad.” 

“I’m not –,” He cuts himself off and you grin. If you were keeping a tally, which you definitely weren’t, then you just got a little tick next to Javi’s zero. “What are you doing out in Colorado?” 

“This feels like entrapment.” 

“I’ve got about eight hours ahead of me,” he sighs and you can see his broad fingers tighten over the steering wheel. “This isn’t entrapment, it’s conversation.” 

Eight hours. That gave you enough time to get Baby back and . . .

Unless he is . . .

F U U U U CK

See, there’s one little problem with your gift and the government goon is toeing dangerously close to finding it out. Shitdumb, bad fucking luck. 

“A conversation, huh?” You rub your forehead with your fingers. This is going to end so badly. “Alright. You start. How did you find me?” 

“Mhmm, I was hoping we’d play twenty questions.” 

You pull back and stare at the holes in the receiver. Was he flirting with you?

But he continues, “After I came to and found my phone shattered, another thoughtful parting gift from you, I think it was safe to say you were spooked. Route 22 was the closest highway. Giving your headstart, I had a guess where you might be.” 

“So, what, you started calling all the motels along route 22?”

“You mentioned you liked places with pools. Started with those first.” 

Parts of that night were very clear in your mind – the way he looked at you at the counter, the way he chuckled, his hands on you when he hauled you off the back of Baby’s hood. 

When he said you were smart, funny, resourceful. 

However, there were other things that were decidedly not as clear. 

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did. You talked about pools when you held me hostage for an hour relaying your life’s story.”

You scowl and stand up, uneasily convinced he wasn’t about to burst your door down. You loop the cord through your fingers. “I said I stayed in places with pools because they needed a maid, not because I liked going there.” 

Again, Javi laughs, deep and relaxed, and the world flares brightly for a minute. 

“Sweetheart, you and I both know there isn’t a goddamn thing on this earth that could make you do something you didn’t want to do.” 

For a second you could see it. Clear in your mind. Bright, gold sunlight. Open road, warm desert sand, the roar of Baby’s engine –

– his hand over your knee and he laughs – 

“You know, I don’t think I ever said sorry about your face.” You swallow, sitting back on the bed and taking up your cigarette again. You take three long puffs in the silence, appreciative that there is quiet to steady your nerves. The room smells like clean cotton and ash. “And . . . I’m sorry for tasing you. You were nothing but nice to me and I . . . I shouldn’t have done that.”

Leather squeaks as if he’s adjusting in his seat, the engine humming over the line. 

“I got close to a woman with a history of cutting and running. You wouldn’t be alive right now if you weren’t a little bit . . . shifty.” 

Despite his familiar teasing, you glance at the window, fearing something else scarier than your DEA shadow. From the beginning, he said he wasn’t going to hurt you or kill you and he hadn’t lied about that. 

It had been too long since you felt the barbs of that night in Florida but now you can feel them prickle under your skin. 

“S-s-shifty, huh?” You can’t fight the sting in the back of your throat. You wrap an arm over your waist and clutch the phone tighter. “The way you say it, it sounds like a compliment.”

“It is.” 

“So you’re not mad about your face?”

He sighs and you swear you can hear his teeth grinding.

“I’m not mad about my face, I’m mad you got the drop on me, alright? Shoulda seen that comin’ a mile away.”

You scoff. “Hey, pal, that shit’s original. No one expects the secret taser.”

“How many of those do you have?”

“Why? Planning on making them standard issue?”

“No, sweetheart, we have actual guns for that. I just need to know how many to search for.” 

“And give up my one defense? Now that wouldn’t be very shifty of me.”

He chuckles again, the sound pulling a smile from you. “Smart, babygirl, smart.” 

With the cigarette between your fingers, you kick off your boots and they land with two loud thuds.

“What was that? Sounds like you’re moving.” 

“Darn, you caught me.” You lean back, your spine propped up by the scratchy pillows, your feet stretched out in front of you. With the hum of Javi’s car, as tinny and distant as it might be, you can almost picture yourself in the seat next to him. He’d have the windows down, enjoying the air in the late afternoon. Maybe the radio is on. And he's bad, bad Leroy Brown

The baddest man in the whole damn town. You flex your toes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your arm, your thigh. “I’m sneaking out the back right now. I’m hunkering down and slipping into the night.” 

“Ah, I’ve been thinking of all the ways I can say this to you: bullshit. It’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Try again.” 

Your heart squeezes, but in a good way, like you’ve swallowed bubbles and they’re making your lungs all jittery. 

You glance at the empty spot next to you, looking for his jeans, his wide hands. 

“You’ve been thinking about me?” It’s breathless, surprised. You don’t mean to sound so pleased. You realize the cigarette has been burning untouched and is in danger of collapsing. Cursing to yourself, you reach over and tap it out. 

“Just how to be one step ahead of you, sweetheart.” His words slow you down. The half-smoked cigarette, burnt and ashen, tumbles from your fingers as you let it fall into the ashtray. You pull your legs up to your chest. 

“But things are getting serious out in Florida, in Bogota,” he continues, the teasing lilt from his voice gone. “We really need your testimony. Could save a lot of people’s lives.”

You watch his sunglasses slip down over his nose, just enough to catch yours and really stick in the knife. The engine roars as he guns the gas.

“Javi,” you begin slowly. “I’ve made a lot of enemies. Not just in the cartel. I mean, those are probably the baddest, but I can’t show my face in certain places. You can’t protect me every second of every day.”

“What makes you think I can’t?” 

He won’t look at you now and you stare blankly. How many times were you going to hurt this man?

“You couldn’t see me coming, for one.”

“Ouch.”

You grimace, eyes squeezing shut. “I’m sorry, Javi, I–,”

“You’re right.” He visibly swallows, and he switches his grip on the steering wheel. “I broke your trust.”

You try to smile to comfort him, but know he wouldn’t appreciate your pity. You pick at the torn thread on your jeans. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t trust anyone.” 

“Well, I guess for someone who – how did you phrase it? ‘Gives trouble a little wink and blows a kiss as you drive by’ – you’ve got to be a little paranoid.” 

Your mouth falls open and he smirks, his aviators back high on his face. 

“I did not say that.” 

“You definitely did, sweetheart. From your lips to my ears. Gotta make up for the fact that I got accused of not listening last time.” 

His hand is on the gear shift. The light hair on the back of his wrist and forearm glows in the late evening sun. You think about what it would be like to touch it. 

“How’s Steve, by the way?”

Javi snorts and rolls his eyes. “That dumbass? He’s fine. Been duck hunting while on leave. Goddamn Deliverance shit.”

“An activity he shares with Mrs. Steve, I’m assuming?”

“Nah, Connie’s too good for that. Too good for him, as I like to remind him.” 

“What’s he like? What’s Connie like?”

He pauses, thoughtful. “Connie likes cats. Blonde. They both are. He’s a good agent. They’ve got a little girl, actually. Adopted her, in Bogota.”

“That’s nice. They sound like good people.” 

“They are. Steve’s lucky to have her.”

The car slows, the ringing warning of an oncoming train has him stop before a long stretch of railroad tracks. He taps the wheel with his fingers. The wind comes in and ruffles his hair. He’s handsome in a way that is almost overwhelming. Like you wouldn’t know what to do if he actually looks at you with intention. 

The train roars as it passes, the blinking red lights like cosmic stars across his face. You pick at lint on your sock because he can’t be blamed for it, and you should try and make nice. So you open your mouth and ask,

“So is Mrs. Javi still planning on taking me out by the kneecaps? I’ll give her at least two free shots.”

He makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a groan. He adjusts on the seat and cracks his neck. 

“Oh, yeah, you really got Mrs. Javi all worked up.” 

“Then send her my regards. How should I fill out the card with her flowers?” 

There is silence on the other end. The train whistles and the lights flash. The car rumbles from the force of the train, the weight of gravity. The heavy sun is hovering just above the horizon, going red against the mountains. Like a cracked chicken egg with a smear of blood.

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.” 

You sit up higher on the bed and cross your arms. 

“What do you mean?” 

Javi glances from the train, to you, the red lights hiding any blush on his cheeks. He frowns. 

“I’m– I’m not married. That . . . was a lie. There’s no one waiting for–,” 

Fuck. Fuck fuck shit. Of all the ways for him to find out. Goddamn it. You lean forward onto your knees, groaning, as you wait for it to sink in. He twists in his seat to you, rabid delight on his face.

“Hang on a fuckin’ second, you’re telling me that little trick of yours doesn’t work over the phone?” 

You shake your head. Why, why did you bring up the wife? That’s, like, rule number one. 

“Sorry to disappoint,” you sigh, admitting defeat, and pick at your socks. “Over the phone just isn’t as good as the real thing.” 

He laughs in disbelief. There might be some red in his cheeks after all. “Uh, yeah. I’d have to agree with that.”

He sits back in his seat, mouth agape, as the last of the train cars rumble through. The ticking of the warning signs slows and the barrier raises. Javi distractedly puts the car into drive and it shudders as it goes over the tracks. 

“So what other limitations do you have?”

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully. “I’ve never put it to the test. As far as I can remember, it only ever makes me money or gets me into trouble.” 

“Really? You’ve never been curious.”

“People like me aren’t afford the luxury of being curious.” You glance out the window, at the darkening farmland rushing by. “We just hope to get by. See one day after the next.”

“I know what that’s like,” he murmurs. “Now knowing if you’ll make till sunrise. It’s a bad way to live.” 

“Yeah,” you agree, eyes shut. “It is.” His spine is straight, gaze forward, but his knuckles around the wheel are white. Sunlight is fading fast. “How’d you live with it?”

“Didn’t. Not well, at least. Dealt with the worst of it by drinking. Met with people I shouldn’t have.”

Your stomach clenches as you try and decipher his meaning. People, being other agents, the cartel itself, or even women –

There’s no one waiting for me, he was going to say.

“It’s lonely,” you say. You see him nod in the silence.

You bite the inside of your inner lip. “You don’t have to agree with me, you know? I really can’t tell if you’re lying or not right now, so you –,”

You don’t have to pretend to care.

“I’m not lying,” he soothes. You wonder if he could be this kind in person. “Someone once told me starting off a conversation with a lie is not a good way to make a friend.”

You smile out of the corner of your mouth. “That’s good advice. You should keep her around, whoever said that.”

“I’m trying.” 

You can feel the shake of the car over the road. Twilight has come, purple and heavy, drawing shadows where there used to be light. Javi takes off his sunglasses and drops them in the clutch of his front shirt, but in the faint light you can’t quite see his eyes.

“I did watch Dr. Pole,” he offers, “had to see what all the fuss was about.”

“You liar.”

He laughs and his fingers bump your knee. “Just making sure.” 

You want to stay here with him, but you know you can’t. You squeeze your eyes shut and open them to the dark, warm hotel room.

“Javi, I – I have to go.”

“I know,” he says, his voice running thin through the phone line. You twist away from the headboard, your feet touching the orange carpet. The street lights outside your window have come on, leeching the color from your room. It feels sterile now, less welcoming. Another moment of peace, gone. Another location burned. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You huff a laugh, in spite of yourself. “That’s not the comfort you think it is.” 

The car hums, swallowing up anything he might have said. 

“But there is something I wanted to say, before you go. Before you tased me, which was a one time thing by the way, I, uh, actually had a nice time with you. I wouldn’t call it a barrel full of monkeys, but . . . you, uh, surprised me.” 

You can almost picture the way he curls around the plastic handle, broad shoulders folding in on themselves as if to make his joy as small as possible. Protect it from prying eyes. 

“Of course, you did. Chocolate waterslide and all that.” 

You can feel his smile, even if you can’t see it. You slide your shoes back on, and gather up your jacket. It wouldn’t take you that long to walk to the mechanics and you remember seeing a diner on the drive back this morning. You wondered if they’d let you sleep for a few hours in a booth.

“Oh, uh, just one more thing,” you say, the cord around your fingers. “You still haven’t told me your real name. At the diner, you said it was Javi, but that’s just a nickname, right? What’s your name?”

“You gonna frame me for murder or something?”

“Or something, sure.” 

“My name’s Javier. Javier Peña.”

“Nice to meet you, Javier.”

“Call me Javi.” 

You don’t really know how to end it, can’t really speak with the knot in your throat, so you click the receiver back into its cradle. You hope he won’t think you’re rude for not saying goodbye. 

The mountain air has turned cool without the sun, night curling around the motel like a lazy black cat. You lock the door behind you and leave the key on the doorframe, with a note inside on the bedside table thanking Maria for her kindness and explaining why you’re leaving. 

There are still no cars in the parking lot, but the light to the lobby is on behind the closed curtains. You wonder if the maids are playing poker in there.

You begin to whistle, the canvas bag with fifty thousand dollars in cash slung over your shoulder, as you walk down the road, gravel crunching beneath your feet, wondering where he’s going to eat tonight, what music he might like, and if anything he said today was true. You whistle and listen for the sound of his engine. 

And the road is out before me

And the moon is shining bright

What I want you to remember

As I disappear tonight

Today is gray skies

Tomorrow is tears

You'll have to wait

Till yesterday is here

[silawastaken]

it’s me again. new Taylor swift album. ssk thoughts?

first, i woke up at 4:30 in the morning to listen to this album the moment it came out. And I WAS going through it thinking about skk when I wasn't bawling my eyes out over certain lyrics that were personal attacks

I do want to take a moment to talk about the actual album itself on its own for a moment just because omfg i love it, and something I really liked with tpd in comparison to more of her recent albums, is the music seems very simple, with a focus on lyricism, which had always been a theme with her music, that the lyrics are more important, but it just. It's so well done here.

Also, there's a very nice mix between the synth pop of midnights, and the more acoustic vibes from folklore and evermore in this album, when i listened to the first song i thought the whole album was going to have that same vibe, and was very pleasantly surprised at the first piano track.

Also a lot of the lyrics are very reminiscent of her earlier albums, thinking speak now and fearless. it feels most obvious with i can do it with a broken heart and who's afraid of little old me- which by the way, based off the title I thought i would HATE whos afraid of little old me, but i actually really like it??? like it's a very 'cringe' phrase, it's made fun of mercilessly, but it works surprisingly well.

The songs all seem to have an earlier album they could tie back to, with the same vibes or styles of lyrics, and it's so nice to listen to while thinking of what it could possibly tie back to.

This definitely isn't my favourite album, i was expecting something different i think, but it's still really good, and there are quite a few really good songs on it. guilty as sin? and clara bow are my personal favourites i think :3

But I would like to direct your attention to the second song on the album, 'The Tortured Poets Department'

I LOVE a title drop in a song, it drives me insane for real, and i actually screamed. But more importantly, in reference to this, it is VERY skk to me, like I listened to it and instantly was thinking of how i was going to reference this song in an au some day.

But imo, this song is 100% Chuuya pov skk and well the autism is working overtime so I will be doing an analysis I'm so sorry this is what I'm using my time for but AUGH brainrot im sorry i have interests

'You left your typewriter at my apartment' - starting off by mentioning that this is what i thought of when considering references, because im a sucker for writer skk, and i thought a really cool thing would be Dazai leaving a typewriter behind when he left for some reason, and then Chuuya picking it up and eventually using it, especially with one of the following lines being 'who uses a typewriter anyway?', something he used to judge Dazai for then becoming something he does himself is just *polite clapping* i love it and I will be giving dazai a typewriter at somepoint

'But you're in self sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road' - Dazai is very mentally ill, and likely does self sabotage, ESPECIALLY if it were to be his relationship with Chuuya, his bandages are an allegory for the fact that he doesn't let anyone see below the surface of his personality, and that does go for Chuuya as well. He doesn't allow for that kind of vulnerability and in all likelihood, if he were to end up in a situation where he did need to be vulnerable, he'd self sabotage and try and fuck it up just to get out of that situation. However, there's also the next lines;

'But I've seen this episode and still love the show, who else decodes you?' - which is to say that regardless of the 'episode' dazai would be having in that moment, chuuya would still love him, and can decode him to understand what he is doing, which is a VERY skk thing, being able to decode what the other is thinking when they do things, and their intentions. He would be able to work out what was going on, and be able to work things out.

'And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's going to know you, if not me?' - skk have that insane bond that they don't have with anyone else, they know each other better than anyone else, and they both probably know it, regardless of whether they admit it or not, and (don't attack me im a multishipper) they're genuinely unmatched as a duo, there's not another team with either of them that are stronger than the two of them together. Nobody is going to know them the way that they know each other, it's just impossible given how close they had to be, and the environment they were in. The entire Dazai makes Chuuya feel human and Chuuya makes Dazai feel alive thing. As the post chorus says, nobody will do it the same.

'I scratch your head, you fall asleep, like a tattooed golden retriever' - rare moments of vulnerability my beloved, but my specific picking of this line is Dazai's constant insistence that Chuuya is his dog, while frequently behaving in a way(esp ada dazai) that would be more suited to a golden retriever. There's also something I want to say here about the comparison to a dog, by a person he loves. But it is canon that Dazai at the very least does not like dogs, and in fanon he is frequently portrayed as afraid of them.

Here, this could be translated as it being a metaphor, Dazai being vulnerable like a dog, something he is scared of/hates. He isn't just scared of dogs, he's scared of vulnerability in any form, and comparing him to a dog when he is like that would be to emphasise that point, that he hates them both. This also opens the implication that Chuuya is aware of both of these fears.

But he is like a dog, and being vulnerable, and in that moment, he would be exactly what he hates most, his is everything he hates. And Chuuya loves him anyway, despite knowing how much he hates himself. And he makes himself vulnerable around Chuuya, regardless of how much he's scared of it.

'Sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me' - this lyric makes me think of concerns about Dazai leaving again after they reunite at 22, perhaps Chuuya's own concerns of getting too comfortable only for one of their many issues to come and blow everything up in their faces, like how in a earlier lyric the relationship in the song is referred to as a cyclone, the fear is that it gets out of control, even if they know what they're doing, or trying to do.

'But you had told Lucy you'd kys if i ever leave, and i said the same to jack so i felt seen' - oh boy toxic co-dependency time. skk are so co-dependent it's literally insane, their lives often genuinely rest in each others hands, not even mentioning whatever the fuck went on in mersault. From Chuuya relying on Dazai to nullify corruption, to Chuuya being the reason Dazai decided to try living a little in 15, there have been multiple instances in which if it wasn't for the other they would be dead. They trust each other with their lives, and could very easily end up in a state where if one were to leave, the other would make an attempt on their own life (moreso dazai than chuuya, but it really could go either way).

'Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be, cause we're crazy, so tell me, who else is gonna know me?' - Anything else aside, skk are fucking insane. they deserve each other just so they don't bring danger to literally anyone else they interact with. They're insane, especially around/about each other, and again, they're the only ones who fully understand each other. Dazai is the only one left from during stormbringer as well, which is think is important to mention. Dazai was there during sb and the dragons head conflict, both times that Chuuya's friends were killed, if anyone was going to understand how he might have felt after that experience, or what happened, it would be Dazai. They understand each other in ways others would never manage.

'At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger, and put it on the one people put wedding rings on, and that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding' - skk are literally married guys. dating six years, married four years, divorced eight times and broken up 52, but also never stopped dating and are best friends who plan how to kill the other for fun. They're married, but they're also not, but also their souls are tied together in ways not made for the human brain to comprehend. This feels very much like domestic skk fic interactions and i'm 100% here for it.

Anyway, this song is very skk coded and I love it so much, tell me why i spent an hour on this. I don't think this was what you were looking for but... this is what you got. If you want me to go through any other songs like this then i'll do it. I love skk and taylor swift so much i can't even think like im afaifiegbi im pretty sure taylor has a tumblr account so there is like a 0.0000001% she would see this and that has me... panicking but anyway :D i have lots of thoughts all the time and thank you for indulging me with this ask i NEEDED to get this out of my system before i exploded!!!

[yunogf]

lmao i asked bc, as you said in your tags, there was a certain way that it comes across as with how you’re talking about it, so i genuinely wondered bc i was gonna listen to it as well. i’ve been reading plenty of comments about it as well that mostly just lean on “aoty” “soty” “best album ever” and i get that these are (hopefully) exaggerated claims by stans, but i was seriously yet to see a decent comment about its musicality. it’s either about his face in the mv or his voice or the aesthetic of the mv. nothing on the lyricism or the instrumentations or its creativity or depth, so i was hesitant. i get liking it, but i doubt its being “the best”, so when i saw that your comments were the same, i began to wonder if this is another case of exaggerated praises and it’s just... meh at best. nothing new and all that. i am still gonna listen to it on my own ofc but, i guess, since i’m not really his fan, i’m not all excited. amazing debuts usually create tractions of their own, and i don’t hear much for this, but i ain’t judging based on that ofc. anyway, no need to feel attacked. as i said, i was genuinely curious so i asked. i’m well aware that i have ears. i was just genuinely curious about what you actually thought about it, what with your unhinged tags and whatnot. that’s all.

hard to gain traction when ur company announces ur album 2 weeks before it drops!

i was thrown by your wording and i still kind of am but i don't listen to music i don't enjoy and that's across the board for any artist bc....why would i do that lol and maybe ur not in the right circle being a casual fan/non-fan bc I've seen most ppl talk abt the musicality along with everything else 🤔

ik u said u were genuinely asking and i appreciate the explanation but im picking up on an overall unimpressed tone ("hopefully exaggerated" "doubt it being the best" ?) and it feels like u've made up ur mind about jaehyun and his music and ur asking me to give u a reason to change ur mind/care/be impressed but that's not my job ur free to make ur own opinion to me it seems ur going in with a half formed one already but it's music so like it or leave it either way is okay! ur under no obligation!

I'm sorry if being a kpop stan (im assuming...?) has made u feel disillusioned by solo releases tho i understand bc ppl are often overhyped by fans but jaehyun is a music enjoyer who did his homework and worked with artists he himself is a fan of and the payoff is really good music

overall ur ask is very uninformed which if ur not a fan is understandable but as a native english speaker myself listening to an album that is almost entirely in english from a nonnative speaker i have to say the lyrics are very well done they make sense create good metaphor and aren't superficially about balling or making a lot of money (i loathe to hear this often in eng versions of kpop songs lol) and jaehyun is credited as a lyricist on almost every song afaik

the production value is solid "can't get you" has an entire band accompaniment (the trumpet >>>>>) he wrote/worked on "flamin hot lemon" with emotional oranges (one of my fave artists actually <3) so that one is Excellent in every regard esp for a song inspired by cheetos lmao I've said numerous times that none of the songs sound like they were created with the intent of 30 secs going viral on tiktok (a very important differentiation for me) and one of my favorites parts about the title track "smoke" is the outro it's soooo good there's an unexpected bit of piano that he adlibs along with >>>> and the ballad "completely" has a Gorgeous piano backing to it (the lyrics on this one are also so beautiful)

my excitement about the release may have overwhelmed me so i might not have broken down each song beat by beat but rest assured i'm not wasting time on music i don't enjoy

in summation the album is good and on a separate unrelated note he just happens to be really hot ❤️

[jakeyzzz]

Birthday Surprise

Happy Birthday Jay ! ♡

♡ (fluff !) ♡ jay x f!reader oneshot (birthday special!)

masterlist ♡

... (i'm not sure If i like this tbh)

warnings - ( mentions of pregnancy, sadness, long distance relationship, heeseung, jake, sunghoon, mentions of alcohol, mentions of being drunk, reader surprising jay, making out, kissing, hugging, mentions of marriage, jay being SOFT ,comforting, cuddling) -

! please let me know if I missed anything !

!!! english is NOT my first language so please be nice

...

,,I have two news, one good and one bad. Which one do you want to hear first ?'' You and Jay have been talking on FaceTime for over an hour. He smiled. ,,Tell me the good one first.. i'm a bit scared of the bad one''  You looked down at your Fingers nervously fiddling with them, as you finally decided to tell Jay the good News. ,,Okay so ... my Sister is having a Baby!'' Jay gasped loudly, making you giggle. ,, Oh my God Y/N that's amazing ! You're gonna be an Aunt !'' Jay said, sounding very happy for you. You hummed happily. ,,Okay ... what about the Bad News?'' Jay asked. He sounded nervous. You cleared your Throat. ,,I don't think I'm gonna make it to your Birthday Party...I'm gonna have to help my Sister with a lot of Things and I'm probably gonna be very busy today.'' Jay's smile dropped almost immediately. He looked so sad, it kind of broke your Heart. ,,A- Are you sure?'' He mumbled, trying not to cry out of sadness since he hasn't seen you in a while. You nodded your Head softly. ,,Yes .. I'm so sorry, Jay '' Jay lowered his Head. ,, N- No i understand , it's fine. Your Sister needs you. Family first, right ? '' He was so sad. He didn't even have the Motivation to celebrate his Birthday with his Friends anymore. He just wanted to lay in Bed all Day and cry into his Pillow. ,,Well ... I think I'm gonna hang up now because i need to prepare some Stuff for tonight. I love you , Y/N'' Jay stated, trying to hide the sadness in his Voice. You softly forced a smile on your Face. ,,Alright ... I love you more. And Happy Birthday again. Please have a lot of Fun. I'll see you. '' You smiled into the camera, making Jay forcefully smile back at you. ,,I'll try. Love you, bye'' He said, right before hanging up.

Jay buried his Face in his Hands before softly massaging his Temples. You and Jay were in a Long Distance Relationship. Having you at his Party would've made him the happiest Man in the World. But you couldn't be there... and that made him sad. But suddenly, Jay got a Notification on his Phone. It was a Message from you. And without thinking twice, he curiously opened it. It was a Link to a Playlist you made for him, and the Title of the Playlist made him smile like an Idiot. ''To the Person I love the most''.  The Playlist was filled with all the Songs that reminded you of him, and Songs you thought he might like. Jay blushed softly as he skipped through the Playlist, since the Songs made him remember some of his favorite Memories with you.

However, there's one Thing Jay didn't know. You tricked him. You were currently in a Hotel Room just a few Minutes away from Jay's House, getting ready for his Party. And yes, you did feel really bad for lying to him. You didn't only lie once, but twice. Because when Jay asked you where you were earlier, (since you most definitely were not in your Room)  you said you were at your Grandma's House.

You felt so happy to finally see him and his Friends again. You couldn't wait to finally Kiss and Hug him again. You missed him so much. But so did Jay. He craved your Touch so bad. And even though his House was filled with the Sound of his Friends screaming Lyrics and having the Time of their Lives, it still felt Empty without you. He silently zoned out on his Couch, as Sunghoon approached him to sit down next to him. ,,Something's obviously wrong with you. Wanna talk about it?'' Jay snapped back to reality as soon as he heard Sunghoon's Voice. He shrugged his Shoulder . ,,I miss her, Sunghoon. I wanted her to be here so bad. '' Sunghoon softly smiled before caressing Jay's Shoulder. ,,She probably misses you as much as you miss her. Don't worry Jay, I think you'll see her sooner than you think. Let's have some Fun now.'' Sunghoon said, before trying to pull Jay up from the Couch. ,,Yo Jay ! Come here we have your Birthday Cake!'' Jake shouted from the other Side of the Room, as he carefully placed the Cake on the Pop Up Beer Pong Table he brought.

Only a few Moments later, the Boys made Jay wear a Pink Birthday Crown that was actually made for Children, and energetically started singing to him , as Heeseung carefully lit the Candle on the Cake. I forgot to Mention, that they already had a few Drinks. Jay clapped his Hands as he laughed at their terrible singing. ,, Go Man ! Blow out the Candle and make a Wish !'' Jake excitingly commanded. Jay closed his Eyes as he thought of his Birthday Wish, before softly blowing out the Candle , making everyone around him Cheer. But surprisingly, only one Second later, Jay's Doorbell rang.

Everyone looked at each other in curiosity, even though Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon knew exactly what was about to happen. You told them everything . ,,I wonder who this is'' Sunghoon said giggling, making Heeseung softly punch his Arm. Jay furrowed his Eyebrows at them. ,,Y'all are acting weird. Who is this?'' Jay murmured on his Way to the Door. But as soon as he opened it, his Eyes widened. ,,Y/N ? What...'' You chuckled at Jay's frozen State. ,,Surprise, my love !'' You said, before quickly jumping into his Arms. Jay never wanted to let go of you again. He thought he was dreaming.    ,,I missed you so much you have no Idea.'' Jay mumbled into your Neck,before leaving a few Kisses here and there. Before he could say anything else, you softly cupped his Cheeks before leaving a soft, slow Kiss on his rosy Lips.

He didn't even let you pull away anymore, that's how much he missed having you in his Arms. You both completely forgot about Jake's , Heeseung's and Sunghoon's existence, making them look at you in disgust. ,,I swear I'm never gonna be like this. If i ever start making out with my Girlfriend in front of you Guys, you're allowed to slap me'' Sunghoon whispered into Heeseung's Ear, making him laugh. But You and Jay were lost in the Moment. You had no Idea how you were supposed to leave again. ,,Thank you for coming , I love you'' Jay mumbled against your Lips. ,,Your Lips are so soft I could kiss them all Day...'' You smiled at his Words. ,,Do it then.'' You whispered, before you heard someone clearing his Throat from the Back.

You looked over at the three Guys glaring at you, making you giggle. You freed yourself from Jay's Grip, before finally walking into his House, making Jay obviously follow you. The first Thing you did was greeting the Boys, as you hugged them. ,,It's so nice to see you again. It's been a while.'' Heeseung said, as the others immediately agreed with him. ,,Thank you so much for not telling Jay anything''  You whispered quietly, but loud enough for Jay to hear. He gasped. ,,They knew ?. '' You cheekily nodded your Head. The other Boys laughed loudly. ,,Okay well... I think we should leave you two alone now. This was Fun'' Jake uttered, as he winked at Jay. And right after the Boys said their Goodbyes, you were finally alone with your Boyfriend.

Jay immediately took your Hand, before guiding you to his Bedroom. You really liked his Room. It didn't only look really comfortable, it also smelled like him. And you missed his scent so much. ,,Want some Wine ?'' Jay asked, watching you sit down on his Bed comfortably. You grinned. ,,Sure'' Jay quickly left a quick Peck on your Lips, before getting two Glasses of Wine. And right after he came back to his Room, he gave you one Glass. ,,Don't spill it'' You giggled. ,, I'll try. '' You said as you took a sip, before carefully putting the Glass on his Nightstand. ,,I've got something for you'' Jay curiously looked at you, raising his Eyebrow. ,,You didn't have to get me anything...I'm already happy you're here'' He mumbled, watching you get up from his Bed to take something out of your Bag. ,, Shhh...Close your Eyes for me.'' You mumbled, before carefully straddling his Lap.

You softly took his Hand, telling him to open it before softly placing your little Gift on the Palm of it. ,,It's a Necklace...obviously. But look at the Pendant. It has a tiny little Piece of the very first Rose you ever gave me inside of it. Isn't it cute ?'' Jay stared at it in awe. He loved it so much. ,,You kept the Rose ? That's so adorable, I love it. Thank you so much. I love you.'' He crashed his Lips on yours, kissing you passionately. The Kiss was slow, yet heated and the Way his Lips tasted like Wine made you want to Kiss him even deeper, even though that was kind of impossible.

Jay broke the Kiss for one Second, before immediately pressing his Lips back to yours as he got addicted to them. Your Lips moved synchronously on each other's, making you wrap your Arms around his Neck. Jay softly caressed your Waist under your Hoodie, as you smiled into the passionate Kiss. You softly pulled away, looking into Jay's deep brown Eyes making him rest his Forehead on yours . He gently brushed a strand of Hair behind your Ear, before giving you another soft Kiss on your Forehead. You stared at each other for a while, as if you're communicating without using any Words. Until Jay broke the comfortable Silence. ,,You make me so happy''  You smiled softly with your Eyes closed. ,,I think I actually wanna marry you and have Kids and everything with you one Day... '' He whispered. You shushed him with another Kiss on his Lips, making him giggle softly. Jay gently made you lay down on his Bed, before putting his Head on your Chest as he held you close. ,,I love you'' You whispered, as you felt Jay softly stroking your Back. ,,I love you. Just stay with me forever, alright ?'' Jay mumbled against your Chest. You grinned. ,,I promise.'' Jay softly took your Hand, before placing a soft Kiss on the Back of it. ,,Well then .. my Birthday Wish came true...''

[dollarbin]

Mitchell Mondays #1:

Woman of Heart and Mind

I've avoided writing about Joni Mitchell so far for plenty of good reasons. She's too good, too complicated and too obvious.

What's more, I've never encountered a single piece of journalism about Mitchell that I found compelling: I recently thumbed through a new book about her by some NPR critic and found nothing whatsoever of interest or depth. Yeah, we all know: Little Green is biographical. Thanks for pointing that out.

Even Neil Young, in his heyday, was unable to sing about Joni in a way that lived up to her depth and power:

The song is cute. But Joni Mitchell is not cute. She's actually kinda terrifying; like Athena enforcing peace at the end of The Odyssey, we worship her because we basically have no choice.

But I own and deeply appreciate every record Mitchell made up through the 80's and it's high time I grabbed a sword, chugged some strong wine and ordered my men to row towards Joni Island. Like with Sandy Denny, we'll consider her work one song as a time.

Why one song at a time? Because that's my deal during this self declared Nickel Bin week. And because how the hell am I ever gonna sum up the greatness of Hissing of Summer Lawns or Blue in a single post? And because I'm a wimp.

Let's start with Woman of Heart and Mind, a brief track that's easy to snooze through if you are not paying attention. It took me a long time to begin appreciating the album around the song, For the Roses; I claimed it for a dollar in 1993, took a moment to deeply appreciated the fantastic inner photo of Joni's rear end, and then understood none of the music within it. Where were the hits? Where was the crazy? Plus, if she'd needed a rock and roll band for a single song, why the hell did she summon Stephen Stills?

But I was 17 years old at that point and wrong about everything, obviously. The entire record is rich and bold. And Woman of Heart and Mind is one of its many soulful mind crushers.

I dare you to actually concentrate and listen to the lyrics of this song. Don't be fooled by the title or the patient pacing; this is not a Carole King-style comfy feminist empowerment number.

Rather the song is downright brutal; and when Joni drops a huge and crude f-bomb midway through the track (yeah, she's saying what you think she's saying: you and some strangers do some fornicating) I get downright terrified. The naked lady on the gatefold sounds like she's gonna kick my teensy ass.

Did you do it? Did you actually listen to all the terrifying directives and descriptors Joni Mitchell just hurled at you?

Listen, you don't have to literally follow her advice. It's up to you whether or not you drive your bargains, push your papers, win your medals and, gulp, get to know (in the biblical sense) some strangers. 'Cuz doing so sounds terrifying.

And I'm truly sorry for inducing such terror during our first Mitchell Monday.

But, after all, terror can make for great art, especially when you find it in the Dollar Bin.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Now that we've listened to the cadence of rappers through the interplay between the flow and beats it is time to listen to what rappers are saying. Rap has its own language made up of metaphors and references that can intimidate new listeners, but there is one skill that should be easy for anyone to appreciate. Storytelling. These songs are some of the best storytelling that hip-hop has to offer. And Storytelling is one of rap's strong suits so really this is some of the best storytelling that music has to offer!

The Art Of Peer Pressure Kendrick is why were here right? Well he is probably the best lyricist in rap history. The Art Of Peer Pressure may not be his biggest hit but it is unparalleled in terms of storytelling. Kendrick describes a night as a teen in Compton. Him and his friends emulating the violence heard on their favorite rap albums. The story seems simple, but the message is complex. He disavows every action he engages in saying that he's normally sober, normally peaceful, but he's with the homies right now. As the title suggests its a story about how peer pressure helps reproduce systems of violence.

Children's Story Slick Rick is the storyteller of all time. It honestly baffles me how naturally he communicates this simple fable without missing a beat. It flows so casually that you actually forget that he's maintaining rhyme throughout.

Gold Simple fables about street violence are extremely common in hip-hop. This one builds bravado and avarice until the tragic ending where the singer buries his mother before he can use all the money he's attained on her.

I Left My Wallet In El Segundo And now for the lowest stakes in any rap story. This is the gripping story of Q-Tip trying to remember where he left his wallet. The energy of a couple of friends trying to retrace their steps is actually really relatable though.

It Was A Good Day I've seen people on here try to use the details of this song's lyrics to pinpoint the exact date Cube was talking about. It's a simple song, but the simplicity belies some depth. It's pretty telling that to Ice Cube playing basketball and dominoes with his friends is on the same level as not getting harassed by the police or shot.

Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa De La Soul decided to ditch the fun and games on Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa. seriously content warning for frank discussion of csa. The tense story of a girl who is brought to the point of desperation because no one will believe that she is being abused. Its dark stuff and extremely well told.

Neighbors J. Cole dodged a bullet when he decided not to actually beef with Kendrick. Which is good cause I actually like Cole's music. Neighbors is about J. Cole tried to move into a nice house in a white neighborhood and got harassed until he was forced to leave. He meditates on the fact that fame can't actually stop the baked in racism at the heart of America.

Hey Mama If you want to know why fans are mourning Kanye or even hoping for him to get better instead of just dropping him like a rock look no further than Hey Mama. This ode to his mother is the sweetest song ever made. I'm kinda glad Donda West didn't have to see what her son turned into.

Just A Friend Biz Markie is the clown prince of hip-hop. his flow is goofy, the beat is kinda wonky, and the story is simple. And then he just kinda yells the hook like he's half drunk. It is either gonna charm you right away or annoy you. Just A Friend is the kind of stupid that I always fall in love with and it's enduring popularity is proof that others feel the same.

Fat Cats, Bigga Fish The Coup are the group that would eventually make the film Sorry To Bother You. Fat Cats, Bigga Fish is a deftly told story whose moral is "stealing is only illegal if you aren't rich"

To Be Continued ===> Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[yellowloid]

I swear this album is so Milex-coded. Gonna put my fangirl glasses on and look for shipping clues :DD

i think this ask has been in my inbox ever since they dropped the album and i'm so sorry for being so late, i'm bad at being a tumblrina 😔

but YEAH can we actually talk about that?

obviously this is just speculation and theories and bla bla bla we know that + alex's lyricism is so nuanced and full of multi-faceted meanings, and we will never have confirmation on what most of his lyrics actually mean... and i love that, i love that he's always let everyone have their own interpretation(s) of his songs without imposing a single one.

now, i do think most of this album is centered on self-reflection. it's very very very personal and introspective, and what i get from most of the lyrics is him reflecting on his present situation (private life, work life, any aspect of his life really) by using two main elements as his devices to do it:

1) obscure references (the first ones that come to mind are "the simulation cartridge for city life '09", "they shot it all in cinemascope", "lego napoleon movie", "richard of york, the executive branch")

2) even more obscure memories from his past, and especially his childhood (which is particularly clear in the title track itself)

but right along all that self-reflection and addressing himself we also find instances of him clearly addressing someone else. sometimes it's particularly tricky to understand *when* exactly he's talking to himself or that other person. as i already said in other analysis posts, i think sometimes he mixes the 1st and 2nd person pronouns voluntarily, using 'you' not only to refer to his interlocutor but also to himself. that's what makes songs such as mirrorball and body paint so complicated to analyse (ESPECIALLY mirrorball. i'm still so conflicted on my interpretation of it) (+ ever since the album dropped my interpretations of body paint and also mr schwartz changed a bit too. but that's another story)

i think overall most of the songs on this album are not that easily interpreted through a romantic lens. i'd say the one that falls the most into the (very very broad) category of """""love songs""""" is mirrorball - and even then, it'd be a breakup song AND most of it could also still be interpreted as self-reflection. again, multiple interpretations.

there are also some lyrics that could easily pass as...... him throwing shade? lmao some passages in sculptures + hello you really give off that vibe.

getting back to the point of this ask.... yes, i have spent an embarrassing amount of time reading the lyrics over and over again and i do have my crazy little milex theories about them!!!

but what i really love about this way of interpreting the album is the fact that to me, its queerness doesn't necessarily come from it being about a certain person. what makes it so relatable to some aspects of queerness is, again, how self-reflective it is. so many lyrics could be interpreted as him struggling with *his* queerness and expressing that struggle through looking at the past, addressing himself as well as an (imaginary) interlocutor and just finding himself coming back to the same recurrent themes over and over again. ESPECIALLY - and that's what really fucking gets me - the whole mask/façade/persona situation, seasoned with a whole lot of regret and self-deprecation, which is especially clear in body paint (!!!!!!), mr schwartz, big ideas (i feel like as a fandom we don't talk about "the ballad of what could've been" enough. can we actually sit down and THINK about that for a second. such a fucking important line. he was so fucking insane for that) and perfect sense (about which i have a very specific interpretation and is2g don't even touch me that song makes me too emotional it's literally one of the most perfect songs i've ever heard i'm not even joking)

so yeah, some (many) lyrics could be directed at miles (never say never, you know?) but what i really love about the possibility of this album having queer connotations is that it doesn't look for its own queerness from the outside, from a hypothetical (ex-)lover, but rather from alex's own psyche and emotions. its queerness comes from within. from self-reflection and (perhaps unwanted) realizations. from having to hide and keeping a mask on to not be found out. from the inner battle between denial and acceptance.

and then there are a million other unrelated meanings that blend together with the possible queer ones and create such an elaborate set of layers that just makes it so interesting to analyse it!!! and that's the whole point of critical analysis and what makes it so cool!!! having possible multiple interpretations that can coexist with each other!!! i just!!! love that!!! so much!!!

[idabbleincrazy]

One Last Kiss

Fandom: Bones

Rating: T

Pairing: Sweetooth (mentions of polyamory)

Word Count: 975

Warnings: angst, set during 10x01, kissage, pre-existing poly, Sweets p.o.v., set in my poly verse

Summary: Sweets and Booth after Daisy drops by.

A/N: technically this is a sequel to my unfinished Sweets/Booth/Bones fic, but it wouldn't leave me alone and I don't want it sitting in my docs forever. Just know that the three of them were in a polyamorous relationship during his stay with them in s8 and they still had sporadic sex throughout s8&9. Title is from the song from Bye Bye Birdie (the lyrics are actually rather fitting considering how the episode goes)

Lance watched Daisy shut the door behind her as she left the apartment, chewing his lip nervously. He heard Booth shift behind him and turned to face him with a smile he hoped wasn't too guilty-looking.

"So, a baby, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. Look, Booth, I'm sorry I never said anything. I only found out about a month before all this started and we were waiting for the right moment, but…"

Booth closed the space between them and clasped his hands on Sweets' shoulders, his gaze softening as it locked with the psychologist's.

"Sweets, hey, no, I get it, alright. I'm not…I'm not mad at you about this. Hell, I'm happy for you, really. What did Bones and I tell you when you moved out, huh?"

"That even though we weren't living together anymore, it didn't mean we'd stop being a family."

"Exactly. We're a family, Sweets, and Daisy, and little Lance Jr., they're gonna be a part of that family now, too. You have nothing to be sorry about, okay? Me and Bones, we're always gonna love you, and we'll always be here for you, kid."

Sweets nodded, the guilt about Booth finding out about Daisy's pregnancy this way now shifting into guilt about the focus suddenly being on his life rather than the real problems Booth had come here to discuss.

"God, Booth, you came here to work on what's happening with the investigation and I've gone and made it all about me."

"Don't be. Seriously. There's really not much more to talk about anyways, until Bones and the team find more evidence. I'm sorry for the blow up over it when you stopped by the house, I'm just…laser-focused right now."

Sweets pulled away and sat on the couch, gesturing for Booth to do the same.

"I've missed you, Booth. I hate that I couldn't come see you, but Bones told me you said it might compromise the investigation."

"Yeah. I didn't want them tailing you. You don't need that. Visiting me in there, the guys at the Bureau would've stopped trusting you; you needed all avenues open in case something popped up, you know?"

"I understand. It was just hard." Sweets turned to face Booth, not quite able to meet his gaze. "I told Daisy about us, about our situation."

"Oh? Oh…um, does Bones know you told her?"

"Dr. Brennan was the one who suggested it." Sweets looked at Booth, breathing out a sign of relief when he saw that he wasn't angry, just slightly worried. "She said she thought Daisy was the type of person who would understand, and that it was important for her to hear it from me, as early as possible, rather than finding out down the road. And, she was right. Daisy was, is, perfectly accepting of it."

"Is?"

"We've discussed it, and included Bones in the discussion, and she's okay with it if we continue on the way we have been. Actually, she's expressed interest in maybe being included in our dynamic, if you're okay with it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. They haven't done anything, because Dr. Brennan wasn't able to discuss it with you, but it's obvious she and Daisy have a connection that goes deeper than just working together at the Jeffersonian. And, Daisy has admitted she thinks you're appealing."

Booth chuckled lightly, the worry disappearing from his face. He gave Sweets a cocky grin.

"She thinks I'm hot, huh?"

Lance rolled his eyes and grinned back.

"Well, you do have that ruggedly handsome thing going for you. Especially with that stubble." Sweets huffed out a breath. "Booth, can I just kiss you already? Can we just…can I just have that, and we save all the complicated talk for later? I-I know you just got out of that place, and you probably have a shit load of stuff running through your head, but I just need-"

Sweets' babble was cut off by the press of Booth's lips against his, and he let himself just melt into the kiss as an arm wrapped around him, pulling him closer. This was what he had needed, what he had been missing the last three months. Booth's all-encompassing passion as he took the lead. It was present in everything the older man did, and no less evident in this moment as he deepened the kiss, urging Sweets' lips to part. He moaned into Booth's mouth as their tongues met, and fisted a hand into his shirt, clutching him close as the kiss lingered on.

Booth was the one to break away, just as Sweets' other hand crept its way towards his lap, pressing his forehead to the younger's, breath coming out in ragged pants.

"I can't, Sweets, not now."

Sweets swallowed down the whimper of regret, the sting of rejection pushed aside by logic. Booth had only been out of prison for such a short time, of course he would need more time to readjust. He'd barely even had enough time to be with Dr. Brennan and Christine before he came here, it was unreasonable to expect him to be in a place, mentally or emotionally, to want the kind of intimacy the kiss was leading towards.

"It's okay, Booth, I understand, really."

"Thanks." Booth released his hold on Sweets and stood up. "Look, I gotta check in with Bones and see if the team has made any progress. And keep this new guy Aubrey from looking too closely. Man, he gets on my nerves."

"Alright. You'll keep me informed, right? And, you'll call me if you need anything? Anything at all. I'm here for you and Dr. Brennan. So's Daisy."

"Yeah, I know, kid. I'll let you know if something comes up. And..thanks. For this, for everything."

Lance smiled that 'don't mention it' smile of his and watched Booth walk out the door, lips faltering into a worried frown.

[thompsborn]

hello @ the anon whose birthday was yesterday: i’m very sorry i didn’t get hb chapter 16 done, i tried but things came up that made it so i wasn’t able to make a lot of progress on it, BUT i hope you had an incredible birthday and i will probably wish you a happy birthday in the authors note on the chapter when i do eventually post it! however, i promised that if i didn’t get the chapter done then i would post some snippets from it for you!! it’s a day late now, but here they are!!

firstly, i’m gonna tell you the chapter song!!

medicine by havelin

the chapter title:

when i first saw you i was pitiful

and the chapter lyrics:

“i hope you know

you pulled me up when i was down

you showed me love when i knew hopelessness

breathing slowly, softer sounds”

and now, a few snippets! (these are unedited as of now, so any typos and grammar errors should be fixed when the chapter is actually posted lol)

-

The song changes—BomBom transitions into Talking to Myself by Watsky.

Peter lets out a slow, shaky breath as the music washes over him, the introductory instrumental quickly giving way to the lyric heavy majority. On the next swing, he flings himself to the side, off of the street and above a nearby apartment building. Letting himself drop to the roof, he rolls onto his feet and gives himself a moment to look around for security cameras. Once he’s sure that it’s clear, he pulls his mask up—not all the way off, but just enough to hook it over the bridge of his nose, allowing the crisp late-winter air to ease the sudden ache in his lungs.

These songs mean a lot to him, even if he still struggles to understand them. Harley is pretty straightforward in a lot of ways, tends to wear his heart on his sleeve and make his cards known, but Peter’s started to realize the fact that maybe that isn’t entirely true. Harley definitely seems like an open book, but Peter had absolutely zero indication of the fact that he knew Tony, too. Thinking back on it, Tony had mentioned another kid every once in a while. Not very often, always making it clear that it was someone he knew but someone who didn’t want to be talked about, but even then, not once had Peter considered the fact that the kid Tony mentioned could have been Harley. His friend. His crush. A very fundamental part of who he is now.

Basically, Peter thought he could guess with Harley, thought he knew more than enough to be able to decipher Harley’s brain and understand the way he thinks—but then Harley gave him the burned CD. Despite it being over a month since Peter received it, he still doesn’t fully understand. Each song has a meaning, right? Harley made that clear in his note. Either the song made him think of Peter in some way, or he thought Peter would like the song, or both.

Peter is a puzzle solver. He’s a quick thinker with the brain of a chemist, a scientist, an engineer. He likes to look at inconclusive data and figure out a conclusion for it. But this? These songs?

…but as time advanced, the lovely days were covered up from view by an advancing melancholy haze that hovered near the dew…

Peter has yet to decipher them.

-

His fingers twitch at his sides and he spins around, pulling his mask back over his nose and mouth before promptly launching himself off the roof. He feels antsy. Restless. Thoughtless swinging is a good way to distract that feeling and give his brain the ability to stay on track. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, really,” Harley replies, the concern from before falling away. “I got bored. Harry and Gwen are at some study group for one of their classes and I was trying to do this essay, but it’s… I mean, it’s boring. Really easy, you know? Kinda hard to focus on ‘cause the topic is super simple and not at all interesting. I know I wasn’t gonna stop by today, but I was—I mean. I…” Here, Harley trails off, sounding uncertain of his words.

Peter launches himself over an intersection. Below him, a few cars honk as he flies over them. He waves but remains focused on the call, listening as Harley sucks in a sharp breath, lets it out slowly, almost… nervous? Anxious? Afraid? Peter frowns, parts his lips to ask—

“I was just wondering if you’d maybe wanna hang out,” Harley blurts, a bit rushed and breathy. Peter’s frown deepens, confused. “Just, like—like, a normal hang out.”

“As opposed to…?”

Harley huffs, something that’s kind of a laugh but also not his normal laugh. “No investigation stuff,” he supplies. “No Spidey stuff. No school stuff. Just… us. Hanging out. Together.” Then, almost as an afterthought, he adds, “Maybe a movie and some snacks…?”

-

(“It’s stupid,” Peter said when it was his turn, hands clasped around his cup of coffee and eyes flittering around their booth to avoid direct eye contact. “It’s kind of embarrassing, actually.”

Gwen quirked her brows. “Well, now you have to tell us. Is it Boss Baby?”

“50 First Dates?” Harry ventured. “Bring It On?”

An offended gasp ripped its way out of Gwen’s throat as she whipped around to face Harry sitting across from her. “Hey! Bring It On is a classic, okay? Don’t you dare—“

“Okay, lesbian,” Harry interrupted, rolling his eyes. Gwen parted her lips again, but slowly closed them with a glare after a moment. Peter snorted and shook his head.

“No, it’s, like—it’s not the movie that’s embarrassing, I guess? It’s more… the reason why.”

Harley was sitting across from him, head cocked slightly to the side as he peered at Peter curiously. “Mine’s The Pursuit Of Happyness,” he offered. It wasn’t his turn—he wasn’t supposed to go until after Peter—but still he spoke up, explaining, “It’s kind of fucked up, I think, but it’s, like… I mean, my dad left before I was ten, right? And I don’t really give a shit anymore—it’s basically been a decade, I’m over it for the most part, but…” He trailed off, averting his eyes away from Peter despite Peter looking back at him with surprise.

Harley has mentioned his dad a few times since they met, but only vaguely, here and there. Every time has been apathetic and deadpan, done as soon as it began, but this…

“I just—I guess I like stories where there’s a good dad, you know?” Harley shrugged, lopsided as he shrunk back in his seat a little bit. “Maybe it doesn’t make sense, but I like to see proof that there are good ones out there. Just because mine sucked doesn’t mean all of them do.”

Silence hung over their booth for a long moment. Harry looked understanding as he knocked his shoulder against Harley’s, sharing a small smile that Harley looks hesitant to return, while Gwen looked on with something a bit sad but a bit warm on her face, like she was upset about Harley having this struggle but she was glad that Harley was sharing. Peter kept his gaze on Harley, refused to move it away, waiting until Harley eventually looked back up and their eyes met across the table. Only then did Peter speak.

“Homeward Bound,” he said, gaze steady on Harley. He saw the way Harley’s brows twitched together, the way he seemed to think for a moment, before his eyes went a little bit wide, apparently realizing exactly what movie Peter was talking about. “The one with the animals.”

The booth was silent again. Harley stared back at him.

Peter found that it wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be to explain, “It was one of May’s favorites. She was a nurse for a long time, you know? Wasn’t until after we came back from those five years that she decided to change it up. Before that, she worked in an emergency room. Sometimes in the ICU, when she was needed. She saw… a lot of things.”

He heard Harry shift in his seat. Felt Gwen’s eyes on him. He didn’t look away from Harley, didn’t even want to blink, and Harley continued to look right back. Gave a small nod, barely there, hard to see—but Peter saw it and felt the encouragement coming from that small action.

“She didn’t tell me about it,” Peter continued. “Some stuff, here and there, when I got older, but for the most part she kept it to herself, but I could tell when it had been a rough day. She’d come home looking like she aged ten years. And after a really rough day, she—I mean, she wouldn’t say it, but I could tell that she just needed a chance to get the emotions out, and she’d pick a movie or a show that has a happy ending but gets pretty sad along the way. Homeward Bound was one of her go-to picks. It’s a good movie, you know? Always made her cry but had her smiling at the end. I’d always watch it with her. It became one of my favorites.”

There’s more to it than that. Peter faltered, unsure if he wanted to keep going, but something in Harley’s eyes was shining and he felt some unexpected courage bubble up in his chest.

He still hesitated, but ultimately added, “It also… I think about May when I watch it, you know? Because I always watched it with her, but it also…” He trailed off, pondered his wording for a minute, before stating, “There were reasons it got to me, too. It’s emotional in a lot of ways and May always had a soft spot for animal movies, which I think is why she always picked it, but for me, it… it was kind of nice to see a family come together like that. I didn’t have that, you know? I don’t really remember my parents. I barely remember Ben. Looking back on it, I only really remember having May, and I love her, and I’m so grateful that I had her, but it was—”

Just lay it out. It’s just me and you.

I’m right here. We’re okay. It’s just me and you.

It’s just me and you, okay?

Pulling in a shaky breath, Peter said, “It was just me and her. I wouldn’t trade that for the world, but there were times growing up where I would think about what it could have been like if I had been raised by my parents, if Ben never died. Kind of like what you said, Harley, about wanting to see proof that there are good dads out there, right? That kind of logic. I want…”

Harley looked sad. He looked heavy. He looked like he wanted to go back in time and save Peter’s parents himself. Like he wanted to use Tony’s tech to prevent Ben from dying.

“I want to have that reassurance that not everyone ends up like me,” Peter finally said.

With that, he looked away—down at the table, at his cup of coffee. He went quiet and waited until the others picked up conversation, apparently realizing that he was done talking for the time being. Even then, he didn’t look up. Not until he felt something hit his foot, and then he glanced at Harley, who was still looking at him with something horribly sad and overwhelmingly fond in his eyes. Harley hooked their ankles together under the table. Smiled.

Peter slowly, slowly, slowly smiled back.)

-

happy birthday anon!!!

[goldensunset]

mili anon (again. sorry) and i feel i should've been a bit more clear there was a reason i didn't mention love town when i mentioned "For a Place of Love" (well according to the fandom 2 reasons but primarily this one) and that's because i honestly really enjoy the perspective of someone listening to the songs made for Library of Ruina without actually having the in-game context. It's a pleasant source of evidence that the songs stand strong enough on their own while also being extremely fascinating to me who got into mili through LoR to see the different perspective.

To be honest I kinda ran out of steam after seeing how long that last ask was so I didn't get to cover some of the non-LoR mili songs I really like, like Bathtub Mermaid which is a very gruesome song (like major major trigger warning of self-harm) of giving everything you have up to someone else and molding oneself to fit someone else's needs,,, i love the lyrics where even the song's subject is like "i'll embrace everything good about you... and then squeeze out all the bad things" it really makes you think about who is all this destructive devotion really for? what is even left at the end? aughhhh

(anyways sorry again about how long this has gotten, and the whole "we don't talk about love town" is a blatant lie. from what i've observed LoR fans can't seem to shut up about love town lmao)

ok yes though!!! absolutely!!! like i am aware there’s a story here but i’d actually rather just garner it from the context of the song as opposed to necessarily getting into the media. it’s a fun activity. like musicals that you don’t intend to ever watch but that you love the songs from and you’re like listening closely to the lyrics to figure things out. and i think all these mili songs are so good and well written that you can easily enjoy them without even being aware they’re from media. absolutely fantastic

and yeeeAAAAAAh bathtub mermaid is a favorite of mine too bc i like Wasn’t expecting that. like after a lot of more energetic songs it’s like oh suddenly we have this quiet haunting piano lament?? about like someone committing themselves way too far to an abusive relationship and just wanting to keep hurting themselves because they’ll do anything for that person’s attention including giving up everything they are. like man it gets dark in there. like so many mili songs it’s like uh what’s up with the title lol sounds a bit silly but nope it’s actually pretty genius. using the metaphor of a mermaid who should be free and beautiful but being kept in a tiny little bathtub and constantly in pain. y’know. yeah i love that song it’s so pretty and sad and blorbo-ifiable

ok if we’re on the topic of other ones. how about ‘ga1ahad and scientific witchery’? super fun one. i would love to watch someone piece together an entire original story based on it. i’m getting like this love-hate relationship between a witch and a (cyborg?) knight. who keep killing each other but coming back to life (out of undying hate? out of a commitment to each other? not wanting to kill each other but they’re supposed to be enemies so they’ll fulfill their duty?) whatever’s happening there i love this one it’s a lot of fun. featuring such lines as ‘rise from bed my darling, so i can see you again/so i can kill you again’ and ‘kiss me tenderly gently violently’. bangers. and it’s pretty interesting bc the song doesn’t really have a solid structure or repeating pattern it’s kinda just like each section is a new thing entirely and you think it’s gonna end at this one part but it doesn’t but then when it does end you weren’t expecting it lol.

hm what other ones. shoutout to ‘summoning 101’. girl tries to summon furry at 3am (GONE WRONG) but they still make it genuinely romantic somehow

‘with a billion worldful of love’ is underrated imo. genuine beat drop. and ‘i’m sure next life you’ll love me too’ is excellent blorbo material

[rabidlittlestrawberry]

Interview music tag game

RULES: Put your playlist on shuffle. For each of the 10 interview questions, select a lyric from the random song that comes up (skip if there aren’t any lyrics and make sure to drop the name of the song in your interview answer).

@oisinthesecond advised me to use liked songs and i wasn’t allowed to skip (i cheated and skipped one single song)

thanks @cr-amber @ye-olde-trojan-horse @oisinthesecond and anyone else who tagged me this was fun sorry it took me forever

1. First off, how would you describe yourself in one sentence?

couldn’t keep my cool if i wanted to

(gameboy)

2. What kind of [sagittarius] sign are you?

i’ve got a long way to go until self-preservation

(929)

3. You’re visiting your favorite spot, what are you thinking about?

i’m gonna make up for it all at once

(what i want)

4. If your life was a movie, what do you think the first review would say about it?

i wanna cry but i don’t think i’m gonna

(young)

5. Say you get a book deal, what are you titling your memoir?

i’m not where i’m supposed to be

(sober up)

6. What would you say about your best friends?

all the magic we gave off

(supercut)

7. Think back to when you had everything all figured out in high school, what was your life motto as a teenager?

kiss me hard like i’m breaking your heart

(kiss)

8. Describe your aesthetic now

let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance

(you and i)

9. What’s a lyric that they’ll quote in your eulogy?

long live our reign, long live our love

(beautiful people beautiful problems)

10. And for our final question, say we believe in soulmates, what do you think their first impression of meeting you will be?

you light up the dark in me

(through glass)

honestly i think everyone i know has already been tagged but if not take this as your sign

[la0hu]

5 star review

hall of fame: 8.5/10

seungmin's vocals are insane this album and he deserved this album opening line

THE CHORUS growly distorted electric guitar heavy bass HEART EYES PLEASE!!! PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK

chan's postchorus melody (and in the outro) is so fun, it's got choral/circus-y vibes if that makes sense

felix's weird xylophone raps + jeongin's panning ah's. it's giving me maze of memories >:)

the man on the moon clip.... chan must be proud of that one

this feels like cheese's cousin and will probably be on loop

s-class: 8/10

not the hugest fan of changbin's opener, shockingly enough

hyunjin's first line is the best attention grabber, soooooo well done

goofy ass sound effects in the first verse but i'm not complaining

"swerving i'm speeding on serpent rooooad" i think i floated a couple inches in the air the first time i heard this prechorus it's sooooo fucking good -- and this is coming from someone who normally hates the melodic prechorus thing in like every other song (god's menu, venom, freeze, etc.)

the chorus... i hated it the first time i heard it. but now it's catchy. also in context with the rest of the song it makes complete sense to me

controversial opinion(?): i love changbin's enunciated simple rap over the old school beat, and i especially love how han's track layers some classic samples on top

SECOND CHORUS DISTORTION suuuuuuch a good call... otherwise the chorus would be boring but it's enough of a change-up that it also foreshadows the upcoming parts of the song that stretch and shift the typical song structure

pre-dance break rap exchange is not my fav but it keeps the energy up anyway

DANCE BREAK IS GOOD!!!!!! love the production

title track ranking: better than thunderous, maniac, case 143 (duh); not quite god's menu level of shocking and not as tasteful as back door

item: 9.5/10

the productionnnnn.......... i'm drooling

the rap tone from changbin is so bratty and the pacman/game theme of the song is so funny

i wish had better words for the backtrack sounds bc i want to point out all the sounds and their textures; like the high-hat percussion beat which is super similar to the one they used in domino; and this heavy dark crunchy synth sound they keep using

FELIX GROWLY CHORUS. cheap thrills maybe but my fav part of the song

the fucking autotune felix section "celebraaaate" is so bad that it's funny which makes it perfect for the song. it's like jeongin moaning in N/S do you understand

second prechorus + postchorus is a little boring idk why -- that's why it's not 10/10

repetitive lee know before felix's final chorus is inspired

domino's annoying but lovable younger sibling. will be on loop

super bowl: 8/10

digusting beat, very excellent (makes me think of doodle)

the lyrics are so insanely corny it's DJ VXNILLX at his best i swear to god

the nct-esque chanting lmao... sm wake up!

"aw this shit's so bussing" WHY LMAO (edit: i have learned this is not what he's saying but it's what everyone is hearing so)

honestly. the ASMR whispering is so cringy to me but it's also amazing genius. and also so embarrassing but also hot. very confusing stuff

bridge is so out of place but who cares tbh

topline: 6/10

very fun almost "throwback" hiphop type of sound, i love whatever they sampled for the backtrack

"cause we don't give a fu--" we cheered.

tiger jk is a good rapper! :)

maybe strange opinion but hyunjin's second rap was the best of all the raps imo

it's a good song, but it's a little plain for me (maybe just in comparison to the other songs); i'm probably gonna skip it a lot

dlc: 7/10

it's CUTE! it sits at the same table as blueprint, run, mixtape: oh, ex if that makes sense

i think this has better production than the other changbin songs i'm aware of, actually; it still has his trademark sort of wistful bitter melancholy but the sound is a little more diverse than stuff like sorry i love you or streetlight

the instrumental beat drop sections i like more than i thought i would, especially the breakdown towards the end

one criticism: i would've introduced the "la la" sample much earlier in the song, it feels a little out of nowhere in the last third

i actually love this kind of skz song so it'll probably have longer lasting power with me

get lit: 7.5/10

this song comes out of the gate swinging jesus fucking christ

love the club banger backbeat that's like 100% muffled bass

this is insane but i would've preferred an even harder drop from the bassline for the chorus

the mumbling line hyunjin + felix have with the muffled beat is so good

last drop is CRAAAAAAZY!!! CHAN IS BARKING

collision: 5.5/10

why am i suddenly in a dimly lit smoky jazz bar with bronze/gold details and red roses everywhere

i saw someone on twitter say smth about the sax and i have to emphasize that this is clearly a trumpet

a rare bangchan win from me: his verse was the best imo

the main chorus melody is extremely plain but still very sweet and catchy; it feels like a song to slow dance to after a date night at a fancy steak place. tbh not my cup of tea but still nice

fnf: 8.5/10

i cried at literally the first line. my dog just died sue me

normally i don't like how chan arranges guitar-heavy production but this song did a great job without feeling too mixtape: time out

prechorus doing something to my heart that hurts

the chorus is so sad to me... i think watching the intro for 5star and seeing chan's thoughts on this track casts this whole song into a different, more complicated vibe. like the meaning behind "i'm catching up" when singing about death and grief -- that's actually really good, and i really like how this line is "stuttered" or halted in the first two choruses, and only gets pronounced in full for the very last chorus, bc they've literally "caught up"

i also really like how for the "uh-uh-uh" lines, the melody shifts into a minor key -- that's what's keeping the chorus interesting and from falling into bland territory

second verse is deeply upsetting for me. yes i'm still thinking about my dead dog

the eagle cry is a little silly/on the nose but i think it's a sweet touch bc i know how earnest it is

also just generally speaking, i'm a sucker for songs whose lyrics/topic are really fucking sad but are musically very upbeat (which is why i love txt's discography so much too)

outro/final chorus very good, especially the full "i'm catching up!" followed by the falsetto...

also this song activates my synethesia like crazy for that fresh spring green, so i will be listening to this a bunch

youtiful / the sound / mixtape: time out 0 / 10

these pissed me off that's all i have to say



FINAL THOUGHTS

first thing: i will say this, and it will be deeply upsetting for stays who loved skz for their pre-noeasy stuff, but it's true: chan's production and musical direction was heavily influenced by other things when he was first starting out because he was still learning, but i would say starting most obviously with oddinary, this is actually what skz's (read: chan's) personal production style is like -- and this is what skz's future releases will sound like too. there's much less imitation in production style in this album, and if it's there, it's more of a reference or allusion like in topline, and not so much a participation in a genre tradition. this makes sense, bc they've been saying repeatedly how they don't want to be defined by a genre, but want to pioneer their own -- even if it sounds really fucking weird. stuff like victory song, levanter, even side effects felt like they could've been made by other artists bc chan was still getting his production legs under him, but stuff like god's menu, domino, and case 143 is where he started pulling together a personal style.

i would characterize go live as a demonstration of skz's flashes of genius while still borrowing the sound profile of genre to use as training wheels; noeasy was them slowly playing with developing a unique sound and practicing songwriting; and 5 star is them doubling down on the production and songwriting skills they've developed since noeasy. this is their most "matured" set of songs and you can hear the difference. it's not necessarily better than the other two albums in terms of personal taste, but i think it's obvious how much work they've done the past two years to be able to come up with and execute the 5 star tracklist, and listening to it i feel like i can see 100% the intention behind the execution, which is admirable even if you hate the music. luckily i don't!

you can tell that all of them figured out what their particular talent is (what makes them "special" ha) bc they echoed what they did in the past, when those talents were first apparent. s class has a lot in common with god's menu, in vibe and structure. item is the successor to domino which skz admitted themselves, bc they were aware of how special that kind of song is. hall of fame and super bowl feels adjacent to stuff like cheese, where it's all attitude and/or aggression. felix has leaned into his voice being used as an "accent" or "point", lee know has a lot of "shouting" tone power, han's songwriting is getting more diverse (with get lit) and more defined (with collision), etc. it's not that they're copying what they've done before, because more stays would be happy with this album if that were the case, which judging by my mutuals' reactions, many are NOT; it's more that they've developed a self-awareness as artists. this album felt like evidence that everything they say in interviews about their artistic development is true, it's not just posturing: they work hard to change, and they'd much rather be continually weird and alienating than stay the same and grow complacent, even if it pisses of their fanbase and most of the general public.

personally i'm extremely relieved because 1) i obviously loved nearly all the songs but also 2) i was terrified maxident and The Sound were going to signify the BTS-ification of stray kids, a la dynamite / butter / permission to dance. 5 star solidly put those worries to rest thank fucking god. maybe my music taste is broken but i get Weird skz forever so i win

extra notes:

the "switchup" happens in a lot of songs in this album, most obviously in s class, but i'm not 100% convinced it's them capitalizing on any trend (like the switchups that nmixx is known for), since they've done switchups like this before in god's menu & back door and other songs too; for me it feels more like chan playing w the patterning he did in god's menu, bc 5 star as an album has a lot of homages to their go live era

everyone got a lot better at everything imo -- particularly in vocals; seungmin did a standout job on all of his lines obviously, but i also noticed lee know's voice has a lot more support and actually chan's lines i would put in the top three too.

live vocals from their stages are also WAY improved; i'm guessing the maniac tour gave them a lot of experience

[hyuckmov]

hiii moon anon here i have a lot to say but first off: i've been analyzing the title song settle down and i've been listening to it over and over again and is the story gonna parallel the lyrics itself?? "and i don't seem to be having any effect now" like thats… oooh the angst is gonna be delicious. i hope you take this as a compliment when i say this but the whole fic takes me BACK to 2013-2015 YOU KNOW THAT ERA HAHAHA the tropes, the ambiance, the CHARACTERS!! side question: is mark or jisung gonna play bigger roles? or did they just act as plot devices for reader and haechans development. would not mind either way but given the concept of the story i can totally imagine reader coming back and just wreaking havoc on the band. sorry i love mess lol. maybe i'm delusional or maybe its the fact that it's haechan but it makes me more understanding of the character?? i trust you when you say that there's more to rockstar hc than meets the eye, and especially from his perspective it's pretty realistic that he has his guard up when it comes to really connecting with people, and we see his walls slowly crumbling down by the end too. and even in the earlier parts of the story i didn't expect him to have his sweet moments?? i honestly expected him to be worse but god him calling her PRINCESS has me on my knees i will defend reader's choices with my life because i'd do the same, i'd probably still go to the concert by the end she's so much stronger than me helppp (tho DISCLAIMER i would not be doing this for just any man its bc its haechan why i am easily swayed by the little things,,, just like reader), but i liked how she decided to take a step back this time, especially when at that point haechan is basically offering her what she has always wanted, but knowing his past actions it won't be truly easy to hang onto every word said. this is the culmination of every mixed signals and rejection that haechan gave her, and the build up to it is veryyy well done. also im still reeling from reading the fic i felt sooo many emotions and dk how to fully articulate it yet,, maybe i'll come back when i do. i even made a playlist of my own w songs that reminded me of the fic to help me move on (at least until pt 2 gets posted, cant wait tho!!)

MOON ANON.... when i say my jaw dropped.... my heart rate actually spiked i can't believe you wrote such a detailed review and theorized this makes me so happy especially since you basically inspired me with this idea !!!! giving you a huge hug rn 🫂🤍 

omg ngl this fic encouraging people to listen to settle down makes me so happy because it's one of my favorite songs 😭 it makes me feel so honoured to know that you are analysing the lyrics and anticipating the plot like that really means so much to me !!! i definitely picked it because it had themes i wanted to explore throughout the song...but the lines kind of contain both hyucks and readers pov hehe so i'm excited to explore that in part 2

i take that as a DEFINITE COMPLIMENT i was so invested in that era it was so formative for me... hence a lot of the song choice in my playlist too... i don't know if i genuinely nailed the idea of rockstar in rockstar haechan (because truly...what is a rockstar...) but i did want to give it that 2013 band on tumblr vibe lmfao so i'm so glad you brought that up !!!!

AAAA the band still definitely continues to play a role... they have stuff to work out but i've thought about their characters a lot and i definitely want to show more of their opinions on haechan and reader (it wouldn't be a rockstar au without that). someone else i want to add in is jaemin because ngl reader needs someone purely on her side

i hope i'm not promising too much with haechan HAHA i'm not someone who likes to give too much backstory to characters so i'm just putting it out there: i'm not going to explain that he's this way becaue he was cheated on before or he had family problems etc. i just want it to be genuine layers of his character and personality that's put to the test (love making it hard for myself LOL)

i'm so relieved to know you still managed to feel for his character and appreciate the softer sides of him and a bit of his struggle... i was worried i promised a super terrible character with the preview and people would be disappointed he ended up being so gentle with reader 😅

and her standing him up at the end!!! i'm glad you thought it was justified but at the same time recognise she probably was going to...it really could go both ways and idk if i'm still going through with my original plot arc !!! we will see :)

this was already so articulate omg once i appreciate it sooo so so so much that you shared such a detailed review with me, it literally blows my mind and i will reread your ask again and again !!!! omg and if u want please share your playlist with me too!!! i want to see what songs there are that give him vibes ~~

thank you sm again...you are too nice to me ily!!!!