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smoljamswrites · 5 years

Text

all is fair in love & war | bts x reader | chapter two

pairing: bts x female reader

genre: mafia!au, series fic, angst, fluff, (eventual) smut

warnings for this chapter: stalker-ish kinda? y/n is uncomfortable, mentions of abuse, my bad writing!!

a/n: hey, I’m trying my best to make the chapters longer than the previous and including more things, so please stay tuned!!

the fic playlist is here, if you wanted to hear it x

He flew down the stairs, eager to find the two at the bar and fulfill his ‘mission’. Well, if there’s anything Taehyung is good at, it’s distracting people. He was regularly sent out to divert people’s attention, and boy was he quite the distraction. With his boxy grin and beautifully sculpted face, it was hard to leave him. He couldn’t wait to see you properly! With all these years of staring at old photographs of you, he couldn’t believe this was his chance to finally talk to you. This, of course, only made him run faster. And it was at this great speed that Taehyung could barely see what was ahead of him and bounded straight into Jungkook.

“Watch where you’re going-“Jungkook started, “What? Why are you looking at me like that for?”

“Did you let her leave?” Tae deadpanned.

“…yeah, but I got her number!” he smirked, walking up the stairs smugly.

---------------------

Your last 3 days have consisted of three things; sleeping, eating, and texting the bartender. He keeps asking when he’ll see you next and you want to see him too, you really do, but it’s too risky to leave again.

The lights behind you are blaring, good at hiding the blush forming on your cheeks. He leans in, mouth by your ear. He smells quite musky, with a touch of vanilla. It’s so sweet and hypnotizing and God do you love it! With his lips ghosting over your ear, he whispers “do you want me to take you back to your home later? Saves you paying for a taxi, I can drive you?”

You begin to fidget in your seat, squirming at the idea of him taking you home. Not because its him that would take you home - actually you find yourself trusting the bartender more as you continue to speak to him - but rather because what would happen if he did. Would he expect to come into your house? What if they notice he’s there? Would they hurt him? You can’t even get caught coming back in, let alone sneaking in another person! God how long have you been out for?

A small cough interrupts your inner dread, and you notice Jungkook beginning to stand up straight. After you quickly realise that he must have thought you had rejected him, you subconsciously reach out and grab his arm.

“um I’m sorry but I live in a dorm and you see the, um, university is very strict on having strangers on campus and so it’s not-“

“Hey, don’t worry about it, I completely understand!” he says, rather gently “but can I at least have your number?”

----------------------

Your mind wanders back into reality as you hear footsteps heading towards the kitchen. Immediately your hands move to play with your bracelet, your eyes darting to the door of the kitchen, fingers twisting the metal on your wrist. 3 of the main members of Sin Syndicate enter the kitchen as an uneasy feeling sets in your stomach. You look up expectantly at the men, and they look down back at you. The one member, who’s name you know to be Ju-Won, walks around the table and stands directly behind you; as for the other two, one stands in front of you, on the opposite side of the table, and the other stands at the door. A tingly sensation creeps up over you, as you feel Ju-Won touching and twisting strands of your hair through his fingers. You hide the urge to cringe, as you think about the things those hands have done – the lives they have taken.

“So sweetheart, Yunseo says that you can’t keep scrounging off us anymore. You’re a big girl now, and we can’t keep paying for you, can we? You have to start working for your life now. Ju-Won suggested you could work in one of our brothels, but we don’t want you too tired for us when you come back home, so we have decided you’re going to be working at ‘Angels’. You start tomorrow!” the greasy smile in front of you makes you want to throw up.

As Ju-Won lets go of your hair, and you nod politely at the 3 members (much to your resentment) you head back into your room. It seems really out of place in this big mansion of the Syndicates. The room has a cream colour scheme and is filled by a single-bed and a small chest of drawers. Reaching around your socks in your drawer, you search for the one that hides your phone. The phone springs to life, with the brand logo flashing on the screen when you turn it on. Sitting down on your bed, notifications begin to come through.

Jungkook: Hey, how are you today? [11:34✓✓]

Butterflies arise in your stomach as you lie back onto your bed, smiling to yourself. Your fingers move faster than your brain, and before you know it you have already replied.

You: Hey, I’m alright thank you, I’m actually starting a new job tomorrow! I’m a little nervous about it to be honest, but I’m so glad to be getting out the house more! [13:26✓]

You reread the message you sent and panic. It definitely sounds like you’re being held captive, you think.

You: Yknow, getting out the house more than usual because of college and everything haha! [13:27✓]

You put your phone away in your drawer, feeling calm now that you had saved your little mistake.

-----------------------------

“Um Joon?”

Jungkook, adorned in a complete black outfit, enters the living room, phone in hand. His eyes search the 6 other pairs in the room, until he lands on Namjoon’s. He nervously walks over to the couch and sits on the arm of it before continuing,

“as you know, I’ve been texting Y/N for the past few days, and well...she says she has a job?”

“A job?”

“Yeah. She said she starts tomorrow and she’s nervous. You don’t think-“

A shorter man, but equal in fierceness and determination, interrupts Jungkook’s fretting, ”Well they aren’t going to let her go and work for a legitimate place, that’d be stupid. And as the Syndicates only run drug chains, strip clubs and brothels, then she’s obviously working in one of them.”

Jungkook’s face morphs into one of outrage; almost disgust,” A fucking brothel!? They better not be sending her to work there Yoongi, I swear to God, I’ll fucking torch the lot of them”

Taehyung can’t stop himself for giggling at his younger’s outburst, “Why do you even care!? You hardly know her, and be realistic yeah? She’s probably working for one of their strip clubs to get her started, because it’s not like they’re gonna let her run riot on a drug chain. And sending her straight into a brothel? Unlikely.”

“Tae’s got a point. I’ll try and work out which one they have likely sent her too.” Their leader places his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder comfortingly, and then continues to head to his office.

--------------------------------

A bright purple neon sign, declaring the title ‘Angels’ flickers above the bar. The ‘A’ has devil horns above it, completely ridding the name of its suggested innocence. Most of the place looks like it is following an open plan design. Yellow leather chairs meet black shiny counters; tacky turquoise poles stand tall on top of the surface. You are pretty sure, that just in the 2 minutes you have spent here, you have seen every colour existing.

It’s quite busy in here already to say it is only the late afternoon, you think. Men dressed in suits occupy most of the room, but you are surprised to see female clients lurking around. From all the movies you watched, you always gathered it was only men that visited these types of places. Clearly, you were wrong. Your eyes continue to search the place, whilst you are waiting for further instructions from Yunseo. On the opposite side of the room you see a raised platform, with black, leather seats and small, red, circular tables surrounding it. You quickly conclude that this must be the stage where main performances are given. Focusing on that area, you see the a few silver poles coming out of the stage. You gulp, wondering if they are expecting you to be able to pole dance. You could never do that, you muse, you can barely walk in a straight line half the time! As for the employees, they are absolutely stunning. Long hair swaying in sync with their hips, their golden skin hypnotizing every person to watch their every move. You really don’t know how you’re going to fit in here.

As you take a sip of your water, a gentleman joins you at the bar. You can’t help but to take notice of him as he orders himself a drink, engaging in conversation with the Syndicate Bartender.

“You’re new ‘round here, right? I haven’t ever seen you here before?”

“Yeah, a friend recommended me the club, said I should check it out, so here I am” the dark black hair of the gentleman is parted, allowing any lurking eyes a better scope of his handsome face.

Just as you begin to listen to the rest of their conversation, Yunseo taps your shoulder.

“Okay Y/N, you’re going to have to get practicing because I’ve booked you a performance slot ready for Saturday, and you better not disappoint us!”

“Wait? For Saturday? That’s just 3 days away! How am I supposed-“

“You’d watch your mouth if you know what’s good for you sweetheart”

And just like that your head tilts down, hands in lap. Yunseo has always scared you, and has always took advantage of this whenever he has a chance.

“Good girl,” he hums, hand moving to cup your face, “Come with me and I’ll show you where you can practice”

As you get out of your seat to follow Yunseo, through the pungent scent of sweat and arousal, the gentleman at the bar catches your eye once more. It’s the way he is looking at you that you notice the most. With a prominent frown filling his features, he seems to be thinking about something. But you don’t have time to ask him about it or continue to ponder, so you turn back around and walk after Yunseo.

The rest of the evening is filled by your frustration. Yunseo had left you in this room, filled with only a stripper pole, a speaker and leather sofa, and these 4 walls are now driving you insane. It’s not like you’re the worst dancer in the world, it’s just you don’t have enough confidence. Just when you were about to hit play on the music, someone bursts into the room.

“That’s enough for today! Yunseo told me to get you home” a member you recall being named ‘Seojun’ says.

That’s right, you smile to yourself, if Yunseo told him to fetch he’d do it – he’s like a little puppy dog, a follower, and he always has been.

As you exit the room with him, Seojun’s phone starts to ring in his back pocket. As he picks up the call, you can’t help but to watch and listen,

“Hello?......How long did he stay here for?.....I don’t think it’s too strange no…….He could have been telling the truth I guess……bring it up with Yunseo, he’ll know what to do.”

You wonder for a moment who ‘he’ was. But then you remember where you are, and that it literally could have been anyone. Seojun closes the door behind you and leads you out the back entrance to the car.

next chapter update: Saturday 1st February 2020 8pm gmt

tagging: @dearlydreadful @honeydewseoks @whimsicalwoodlands @toddsgirl27 @wendyiiwl @asifetch7 @barbyisafangirl @miraculyfe @btsxdoll @laluzdirectioner @slutkoo @bubbletae7 @h5naaa

let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters!

Thank you so so much for reading!

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hamburgerhelpersotherhand · 5 years

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Almost Fate P1

Forty Quinn x Reader

Warnings: Death of a textbook, I wrote a swear and drinking.

Notes: This was requested. Honestly, you can just skip to any of the ~ if you’re not interested in me dragging the story. I like Forty but I also get carried away.

You started your morning off poorly.

For one, your alarm clock had failed to go off. For what reason? You didn’t know. All you did know was that you were late for your class.

You grabbed your bag, stuffed some important-looking papers in and shoved your text book on top of it all. The zipper had become stuck but you continued your rush throughout your dorm-room anyway.

Your legs felt sore as you ran across the campus to reach your classroom. Luck was definitely not on your side as you found the door locked.

You knew this was a risk. Your professor locks the door after attendance because they’re an asshole.

No—no, no... it’s not their fault. This is your fault. You always made it to class by the skin of your teeth; it was about time you’d learn your lesson and, hopefully in the future, realize you have to wake up at a decent time.

With the end of the semester fast approaching and no other classes left in your day, you thought: “I should probably finish my homework.” Having something to hand in next class could help with today’s late incident.

But as you swung your bag over to peer inside, your textbook in-turn swings itself into the nearest and dirtiest puddle you could imagine.

You stand there for a moment as the water seeps into the pages of the textbook.

You just stand there. And stare.

Did that really just happen?

After a moment or so to recollect yourself and calm the fire burning beneath your skin, you grab the textbook like a bear catching some salmon. But, you know, with your very-much-human hands.

Despite it all, you remain calm on the outside. Your heart is racing as you shake the textbook, wanting to get as much water off of it as possible. It’s becoming tedious.

Lucky for you, you know how to remedy this particular situation, so you dump the textbook into the nearest trash bin.

You secure your bag on your shoulder, take a deep breath, and make your way back to your dormitory.

In the room, you find nothing has changed since you rushed out. Your duvet is nowhere in sight, you left scattered papers on the floor, and a pile of dirty shirts sits on the end of your bed.

Oh how you miss the days you lived with your mother.

Beep Beep.

Oh. You’re also pleasantly surprised to find your phone still on your nightstand. Without wasting any more time, you drop your bag and make your way to your phone.

The notification reads:

<F/N>

Meet us at Jerry’s!! @ 7 pm

Jerry’s? What the hell is Jerry’s? You prod your friend a little more, trying to get your hands on an address.

The greatest thing to happen thus far? An instant reply with a place to be. Thank god for that.

A party seems like the best place to get your mind off of things, but you feel hesitant and wonder if studying whatever papers you shoved into your bag seemed like a smarter choice...

Oh well! Seeing your girlfriends is more appealing anyway.

You’re lost.

After the taxi dropped you off at the wrong address, you had to search for it on foot yourself.

You walked around with your phone out, searching for this apartment building... but this street had none.

Did your friend really just give you the wrong address? How could you be so stupid as to not double-check?

Yoink!

Some stranger with a baseball cap decides to run by. They’re fast as they grab your purse along the way and you find yourself spinning before hitting the ground hard. Your phone slips out of your grasp and slides across the pavement.

“HEY!” You shout towards the already disappearing figure. And there goes your keys and wallet.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK! This is fine.

You’re accepting that this just happened, despite how angry you fucking are at this very moment.

You stand up, brush the dirt off your skirt and make your way to your phone.

You regret picking it up because you’re now faced with broken glass and a barely readable screen.

Going home now is ridiculous, but there’s no way you’re rubbing fingers on this device to try and get to this stupid party.

There’s a glowing sign in your vicinity that catches your attention.

You step through the doors of the building with the glowing sign, which so happened to be a very clean looking bar, and made your way to the bartender with a mission.

You pat the wooden counter with your hand. “Do you have a landline I can use?”

“No, sorry.” He replies.

Damn it.

You check your pockets. Or, well... you don’t have pockets, but you do have a secret hiding spot.

Your hand slips into your bra and you find yourself with 2 dollars.

“What can I get with this?” You ask as you sit down at a stool. You’ve clearly never been in a bar before.

The bartender looks you up and down before reluctantly turning around.

“Come here often?” An unfamiliar voice slips into the scene.

You turn your head to the right and smile. “Only when I need to make a call.”

“You don’t have a phone?”

You drop the broken device onto the counter. “Not anymore.”

“I guess that eliminates asking for your number then.” He takes a sip of his drink.

You force a laugh and shake your head. “Funny.”

A glass of water is set in front of you. You can’t help but sigh. Pitiful.

The stranger signals something to the bartender, but you don’t pay it any attention. You’re already taking your glass of water to one of the booths, not forgetting the broken phone.

The stranger finishes his drink with a swig.

The booth is soft and you’re now the most comfortable you’ve been all day.

The water is room temperature, but who really cares anymore? Definitely not you.

“Heyy!” The stranger from before makes his way into your booth. He sets down two identical drinks. “Here’s a drink. Because I’m such a sweetheart, it’s on me.” He’s smiling innocently.

Has this guy ever heard of personal space?

You take a moment to look at him before saying what’s on your mind. “I appreciate the gesture, really. But I don’t even know you.”

“The name’s Forty!” He instantly replies. “Now you have to say your name, as goes a normal greeting.”

“Oh, is that how it works?” You’re being sarcastic now, bordering on playful with your smile.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. I have talked to a lot of people before.” And so is he.

“My name is Y/N.” You look down at the drink in front of you and then back into his eyes.

“I didn’t put anything in it, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He states. “Ask the bartender if you still doubt this pretty face.” Now he’s exaggerating a frown.

You have to admit, he’s got an interesting aura to him and you can’t help but drag your drink closer to yourself.

Forty smiles happily and rests his cheek on his fist.

“So, Y/N. What brings you to this particular bar on this particular night?” He asks.

“Well, Forty. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had.” For this, you’re gonna need a couple more drinks.

Time is going by quickly, but you’re too dissociated with the world around you to notice. Realistically, it was probably only 11 pm at night, but you wouldn’t know.

Forty was fun to talk to. You two chatted it up with some drinks, talking about your day and eventually talking about Forty’s day.

“I started off my morning like any other... rolling off my bed and probably bitching about it.” You couldn’t help but subtly laugh. Forty was the type to appreciate it, though. He made these remarks purposefully. “Then I got myself some—“

“Green juice? That stuff you mentioned liking earlier?” You continue for him.

“Yes, exactly. Wow, we’re already thinking alike.” He gazes at you for a moment before continuing. “Green juice. Yeah, I get myself some green juice to start off. Breakfast was kind of lame, I think I had something with spinach in it.”

You take a sip of your drink as you lazily watch him.

“Then I made my way to the whole foods store as it opened for the day. Without me, the place would totally fall apart.” He’s sounding very confident about his position there. “My sister works there too. She’s like an aspiring chef.”

“That’s cool.” Your head is becoming heavier and heavier as he speaks.

“Then I called my dad, hoping he’d pick up. Took me about 7 tries but he eventually did.” That confidence he had is starting to slip. “Didn’t like the proposal I had for my next project.”

You can tell he’s feeling hurt, but you can barely hold your head up. “It’s gonna be.. okay.” You eventually manage to mumble out.

Forty is watching you intently. He seems perfectly fine, no swaying of the head or sleepiness in his eyes. The only indicator that he’s been drinking is his slightly slurred speech.

Oh! What’s that? That’s a weird feeling. Forty has his hand on your knee, but you only really felt it when it started to slide itself up.

“Y/N.” He’s eyeing you now. “Do you believe in fate?”

You don’t reply. Well, more like you can’t reply. You’ve had one too many drinks and your mouth feels numb.

“I think...” He scoots closer. “I think it’s fate that lead us here.”

“I... don’t know.” You finally reply to his question.

“You don’t have any money, am I right? I mean, you said it yourself, that guy with the baseball cap took your purse.”

You’re being silent again.

Forty takes out folded up money and slides some onto the table. “It’s yours.” He states.

This feels wrong... but you really do need the money, now that your wallet was stolen. Getting yourself a new textbook and phone flips through your mind and taking the money doesn’t feel all that bad anymore. You reach out to pick it up. Before you can, he slides it back to himself.

“Ah, ah. But I want something in return.” He’s got a playful look in his eye and a shit eating grin. You’re feeling uneasy again.

“Kiss me.”

Is that it? You’ve kissed before, it’s hardly your first one... but intimacy means something to you. What does it mean for him?

You force your head up and straighten your back. Your vision blurs for a moment, but that’s hardly important right now. “Okay.”

Forty is still grinning and waiting. None of you pull a move and he can’t help but wander his eyes across you. “Are you going to do it?”

Oh, he expected you to engage? Okay... you can do this.

You lean forward slowly, trying not to stir your brain any more than you already have. He’s very still, only his eyes are moving along with you. One of your hands balances itself onto the table while the other hangs onto the booth’s seat. You’re leaning forward, getting closer.

Forty seems amused by your drunken state and naturally begins to lean in as well.

Your lips softly touch, but not much other happens.

You pull away from him and he happily boops your nose with his finger. “You’re a cute one.”

If your face wasn’t already flushed, it definitely is now.

“Do you need a ride home?” He suddenly asks innocently. “This place closes soon. I have a driver who could bring you home.”

You smile along with him. “That would be nice... Th-Thank you.”

Forty brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face before leaning in and giving you another peck on the lips. You didn’t pull away, so he continued.

You couldn’t quite tell how you felt over the situation, but you let it happen anyway. All you really felt was tired.

He suddenly gets a text message, halting his kisses and checks his phone. “Rides here. Raincheck?”

He wanted to see you again? Oddly enough, despite only meeting him that night, you were flattered and looking forward to it. “That sounds like a plan.”

You both get up and get ready to leave. You were kind enough to bring your empty glasses to the bartender, but Forty had to help you the entire way. Gravity seemed to be working extra hard tonight.

Forty helped you outside as you stumbled around like a child learning to walk. He imitated your awful drunken stance, but you took it lightly.

You both laughed at yourselves on your way to the car.

#forty quinn #forty quinn x reader #you #x reader #reader #fanfiction #love quinn #joe goldberg

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elopez7228 · 4 years

Text

Scenic Route 32/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

Leia was slow to respond to the incoming phone call. She had spent many restless nights as the day of the hearing drew closer, and tonight had been no exception. She had only recently been able to slip into a dark and troubled sleep.

She knew she had to be strong for her people, keep her head held high. She had no right to back out now. It was her job to keep morale high and to assure the others that it would all work out—though that also meant that the number of people she could confide in had dwindled. She had spent many nights consumed by her own thoughts and fears.

Her phone rang five times before going silent.

This was her personal device, no one—well, practically no one—had access to that number. It happened infrequently enough that it was enough to rouse her despite her tiredness.

The clock on the screen read 5 AM. She had barely managed two hours of sleep. But the fact that someone had called her at such an ungodly hour using this number meant that it was important. She took a moment to collect herself and rub the sleep out of her eyes before calling back.

“Skywalker.”

“Leia, it’s Kaydel, I’m sorry for calling you so early but there was an email sent to the organization’s public address and I think you really need to see it, now.”

“An email?” Leia repeated somewhat incredulously.

“Yes, I’ll stay on the line while you read it. I’m ready for any follow-up orders.” Kaydel responded shakily.

Leia frowned. If there was something wrong with the trial documents, they knew to call Amilyn and the legal team. If something had happened to Luke, he had this number himself. What the hell was it about an email of all things that had the girl scared to death?

Putting Kaydel on speaker phone, she opened up her inbox and scrolled through the most recent messages. The public account usually only received spam and donation-related emails. What on earth was going on?

from : [email protected]

To : [email protected]

07/08/2018 : 4:46 AM

Subject : BB8

Hi Leia,

Looks like you left me a wrong number, I’m sure it was an accident! I didn’t know how else to reach you so I hope you see this...

It’s going well so far, Wyoming is magnificent.

I ran into your son Ben, he was performing at a local concert. What a small world! He offered to take BB8 to his uncle by himself.

I’m thinking it would be a great idea for BB8 to stay in the family. Would you have a problem with that? Let me know,

Cheers!

Rey

0044 (0) 7881 235 562

Leia’s gasp turned into a coughing fit so violent that she had to put the phone down. Leaning over her nightstand, she groped for the water bottle that she kept there.

“Leia? Are you okay?” Though muffled, Kaydel’s voice sounded worried.

Leia took a long sip of water, trying to calm her breathing as she wiped away a few tears that had been brought on by her sudden reaction. The phone was back in hand immediately.

“Thank you for the warning, Kay. No new orders. I’m going to handle this one myself. I’ve deleted the message, and not a word to anyone about this for now, am I clear?”

“Crystal.”

Once the conversation was over, Leia allowed her legs to give in. She slumped onto the bed, hands trembling.

She hadn’t seen it coming.

Posing as her son Ben Solo to get Rey to hand over the dog? It was, ironically, a perfect ruse.

The boy never ceased to amaze her. She underestimated him at every turn. Every time she took him for a fumbling idiot, he thoroughly managed to turn the tables on her. Well, he was her son after all. She supposed she should be proud.

Time was running out. She had to reach Rey before it was too late.

But there was no room for error here, the stakes were too high. She could ruin it all with the wrong words, with the wrong reaction.

Leia jotted down Rey’s number before deleting the email. She also made sure to delete it from her “trash” folder. Next, she went to the bathroom, taking longer than usual to braid and pin her long grey hair. It gave her time to collect her thoughts again. She took the time to dress carefully, make herself a cup of coffee, and sit down at the kitchen table in front of the telephone.

Rey couldn’t sleep after the events of that morning. She decided instead to get dressed for the day and busy herself with taking down the tent and gathering the rest of her scattered possessions. She felt a pang of longing mixed with desire as she picked up the clothes that had been strewn on the ground. She couldn’t help but remember the way that Ben had made love to her, right on top of the Falcon. It wasn’t that long ago but it felt like a world away.

She replayed the scene of his betrayal over and over in her head as she folded her clothes and packed up the car. She fumed at the thought that he had still sought to manipulate her.

Rey wondered what to do next. Go sightseeing again? Somehow she didn’t feel up to it anymore. Drive straight to California? That would mean saying goodbye to her itinerary.

Curse Leia Skywalker for dragging her into a conflict that was none of her business...Now she had come within an inch of her life multiple times—she would absolutely love to nominate Syed Ren for a Nobel Peace Prize—and now her holiday plans were ruined.

Turning on her phone for the first time since last night (battery conservation 101), she saw the voicemail icon flashing with a new message notification.

Her heart constricted in her chest because she knew exactly who it would be. Her thumb slid over the icon to open the application anyway. Ben Solo. Should she erase it? Should she bother to listen to it at all, did he even deserve that?

The temptation to hit “delete” was undeniable, but her curiosity won out. Her heart hammered as she pressed “play”.

She could feel her features crumbling as she listened to his words. It took her a second to process the new information.

His attempt at an apology was dramatic self-flagellation as usual. Blah-blah-nail-me-to-a-cross-my-love and all that. She really didn’t have time for this nonsense, he shouldn’t be the one whining here.

But the part about running to the police because “two killers were on her trail” was enough to justify not deleting the message.

Ben fucking Solo had some explaining to do, considering that literally all of his Saturday night bar mates were some kind of new wave punk assassins.

She was in the middle of feeding BB8 when an epiphany occurred. Scrambling for her phone, she typed out a very important email. By the time she hit “send” it was 6 AM (or 5 AM in California, she supposed).

She was hardly surprised when she received a response within fifteen minutes. When her phone buzzed the caller ID was unknown, but she knew it was Leia Skywalker. Rey took a deep breath. She knew that by sending that email she had turned the tables on them. Now, it was her turn.

“Yes, hello?”

“Hello, Rey? It’s Leia Skywalker. I’m sorry for calling you so early in the day but I figured since you emailed me you must be awake.”

Rey feigned surprise.

“Oh, hello Leia! I didn’t even recognize your number...lovely weather in Denver I hope?”

“In Den—oh yes, the weather here is fine,” Leia responded, seemingly shaken by the unexpected question. “Rey, how is BB8 doing, is she okay?”

“BB8? Of course! She’s been such a great road trip companion, she’s so cute and we’ve gotten so used to each other.”

“Is she...with you?”

Rey blinked. When was Leia going to stop pretending?

“Yeah, for now. I’m dropping her off with Ben this afternoon, actually. He said he was going to San Francisco to visit his uncle anyway and I guess I couldn’t possibly refuse him,” she replied as innocently as she could.

On the other side, Leia sounded like she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Rey, no, I think this isn’t a good idea...I would rather have her stay with you.”

“Why.”

It came out harsher than anticipated. Rey found herself unable to smile any longer.

Leia was silent for a moment, sensing the change of tone. She must have known she was missing something because she sighed ruefully.

“Rey, tell me the truth, where is BB8?”

“No Leia, you’re the one who has to tell me the truth. Why did you suddenly change your number?”

Straight to the point. Leia hesitated.

“To protect you.”

“Protect me from what, your own deceptions?”

“It’s a long story, Rey. But you have to keep BB8 with you, every step of the way. Don’t let Ben near her.”

“Oh believe me, Madam Skywalker, I have all the time in the world. In fact, I think I could really use a long story, given that my normal life has been upended by the godforsaken, murderous “Knights of Ren”. Thank you for that, by the way. This is not how I wanted to spend my time, so I really think you owe me an explanation.”

The older woman sighed again. Rey was right. In her blind panic to strike FORCE as quickly as possible, she had forgotten the human factors involved. She had put this innocent girl in danger.

She was clearly resourceful and capable, but she was innocent all the same. She deserved the truth.

Ever so carefully, Leia began her story. Starting with her parents’ company, the betrayal of her mother by her father, his fall from corporate grace, and then the massive culture shift under Snoke’s leadership. As the new director, Snoke had sold shares of the family business to their competitors through fraudulent financial schemes, gaining enough political influence to become the president of the board. Then he came for Luke and Leia, who had been attempting to independently audit his financial gains.

Finally, he was able to turn Leia’s own son, Ben, against her. He offered him everything she never could: money, power, and a prestigious title.

Rey paid close attention. The backstory gave her a lot of context for what she had already known from her web searches. But it still didn’t answer her biggest question.

“Leia, where do I fit into all of this?”

Rey, Leia admitted, was a Golden Opportunity (trademark pending)...truly one in a million, too good to pass up, really. In the Leia’s line of work, one had to make decisions rapidly—often in high-stakes strategic situations with difficult choices and volatile conditions. The situation could devolve at any given moment.

How could Earth Soldiers get the micro-SD, that contained all of the evidence of FORCE’s illegal insider trading under Snoke and Hux, to San Francisco without triggering a defensive strike? Leia’s solution was to use a clean hand. Who better than someone who was going on a haphazard road trip across the country with no agenda and no political motives or alliances whatsoever? Rey was the perfect messenger.

What Leia hadn’t counted on was Ben’s intervention. He crashed through the plan like a bull in a china shop. Brash, but incredibly effective. Underestimating her son always had proven to be her fatal flaw.

Rey took the time to absorb it all. On it’s face, Leia’s strategy was questionable, but not impossible.

“You should have told me all this at the very beginning.”

“If I had, would you have taken the job?”

“Probably not. But that’s not the point! You had no right to put my life in danger over a personal conflict. Especially without my knowledge. What am I to you? Just collateral damage?”

On the other side, Leia’s shoulders slumped. She couldn’t respond. She had made some questionable decisions in her lifelong conflict against FORCE, and it wore her down on some days. Sometimes she was too quick, too rash for her own good. She thought back to her days in the army, how she had always been surrounded by comrades-in-arms who strived for the same mission. But real life wasn’t like that.

Rey didn’t need to hear that, probably didn’t want to hear it either.

“You’re my only hope,” Leia said simply. “And if the Knights of Ren are after you I can send someone to escort you.”

This would alert all of FORCE’s allies, they would all target the Millenium Falcon at once. But Rey didn’t deserve to be sacrificed for a cause that wasn’t her own.

“Luckily, I’m not done here. I think I still have a card to play. Can I call you at this number—or are you going to disappear again?”

“You can keep it, as long as you memorize it. Please, I don’t want to be traced.”

“Understood. You’ll hear from me soon.”

Rey hung up. The very next person she called was Ben Solo.

#reylo #fanfiction #Scenic Route #Modern AU

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yourescapetofiction · 5 years

Text

Two

Wednesday---5:05 PM

“You’re late” I state flatly. A slight smirk played on their lips.

“Our apologies, the traffic is really bad and all the streets blur together. Too many numbers” the blonde boy, who my research tells me is Jack Johnson, replies flippantly as if keeping someone waiting for hours is okay.

“Let’s get this over with then,” I turn on my heel and find an empty table towards the back where it was somewhat quiet.

“Shit. You’re all business huh?” Jack G chuckled as he spun his chair around so he could straddle it.

“Yes, well, some of us have deadlines we have to keep” I shoot him a forced smile as I fished my notebook and tape recorder out of my bag. My cheeks burned as I felt his intense stare on me the entire time. What’s he looking at? Probably the monster zit that decided to rear it’s ugly head this morning. Did I put concealer on it? Shit, I can’t remember. Wait, why do I care again?

“Alright so I’m just going to ask you a series of questions, basic get to know you type stuff, then shoot a couple photos for the column and we’re free,” I rattle off as if this is the hundredth interview I’ve conducted today.

“Alright, shoot” Gilinsky replied leaning forward a bit.

“When and how did you two meet?” I ask, beginning to scribble in my notebook.

“We met way back in kindergarten, at like five years old” Johnson replied with a laugh, as if he couldn’t believe such a thing was possible.

“Yeah we were wearing the same t-shirt, both named Jack, it was fate” Gilinsky finished. I nod and scribble their answer down in my notebook.

“When did you find you had a flair for music?” I continue.

“I think J has always been musically talented, he plays piano and taught himself a lot of cool songs he liked and I basically just started laying on some vocals one day” Gilinsky replied.

“Don’t let G fool you, he was in choir in school too, he didn’t just magically start singing one day. He’s always had that talent” Johnson replied.

The next ten minutes continued with inane questions such as favorite foods, colors, embarrassing stories about one another, you name it. My internal self-righteousness was screaming; this is such a waste of time. I should be interviewing senators, Spielberg, anybody!

By the time I reached the last question I hardly knew what I, or they, were blabbering on about anymore. All of these questions seemed to blur into the next one, so without really reading or comprehending I regurgitated the last question on the list in front of me.

“So, any burning desires in the romance department?” I asked. As the words fell from my lips I felt myself die internally. Burning desires? Asking complete strangers about their romantic life? You’ve got to be kidding me. The guys chuckled and glanced at each other before raising their eyebrows slightly. I’m embarrassed for them.

“I thought this was just the ‘basic get to know you’ stuff,” Gilinsky teased quoting my exact words from earlier. I cringed even harder and slid down into my seat. Any further and I’ll be on the floor.

“Oh jeez, I-I’m s-sorry about that, I didn’t know they included that...” I trailed off, clearly flustered.

“Let’s just say my past was messy” Gilinsky offered trying to redirect this awful trainwreck. I half-smile politely.

“I think I have all I need here so you guys can go” I say throwing my shit in my bag as fast as I can.

“Woah, woah, woah, didn’t you need pictures?” Johnson asked. Damnit. He was right, I did.

“Oh..yeah I guess I do, but it’s raining and disgusting outside I don’t think I’ll have the proper lighting or scene for this” I rub my forehead, actually starting to stress out because I needed these photos, my deadline was Friday.

Clearly seeing me start to have a meltdown, as indicated by my eye twitch, the guys actually did something that made me feel better.

“Hey don’t stress it, we have like a million headshots laying around we can just forward them to you” Johnson offered.

“Oh god, would you? That actually saves my ass like A LOT, you have no idea” I sigh in relief.

“Do you have a phone number or something” Gilinsky chuckled, once again catching me off guard.

“Oh, shit. Right. Uhm...hang on my journal is here somewhere..” I say desperately clawing through my bag.

“Here, just use this” Gilinsky handed me his brand new iPhone XR with the new contact screen up. I gulped, is this really happening? He just needs your e-mail for work purposes, relax crazy.

I typed my name into his phone and attached my e-mail address that I use for business related things, and tapped save. His gaze never left me the entire time I tried to remember how to spell my own name. I was so flustered and honestly unprofessional, they must think I looked like an idiot who didn’t know what she was doing.

I stood to leave and the boys held the door open for me. I shook their hands as we waited out on the sidewalk.

“Thanks for meeting with The Review, I’ll be sure to send a draft of the article to your manager once it’s done” I say, side stepping to hail a cab.

“Yeah no problem” Johnson replied breezily.

At this point I was just dying to get out of here and into a taxi where I never look back. I just want to get home, write this article, then forget I ever met them.

“Hey, I’ll be in touch about those photos” Gilinsky smirked as he leaned into the cab I was climbing into. Oh, right. I guess it’s not that easy. I waved goodbye as my taxi sped off, I glanced behind me and could still see and feel Gilinsky’s intense stare for blocks.

I leaned my head against the scratchy vinyl seats of the cab and exhaled deeply. Well that was incredibly awkward. At least the hard part is over. I arrive at my apartment and set all of my things down on the bar. I slump onto my couch to take a breather. My phone pinged with a notification, so I unlocked it to see the little “1″ on my mail app. There in bold letters was an e-mail “From: Jack Gilinsky”

Hey y/n,

I’ve attached the headshots that you needed, let me know if you need any others.

It was great meeting you today, take care.

-Jack Gilinsky

Phew. There it was. A strictly professional e-mail just following up with what we had discussed, nothing weird. This is fine, all of that was in my head and I don’t have to see his god-like face again. I will be flustered no more! Then I scrolled and saw it.

P.S.

If you’re wanting to know more about my current dating life, a private interview can be arranged. Be in touch xxx.

And there it was. In small print at the bottom of his perfectly professional e-mail. a “P.S.” A post script. P.S. never adds anything good to a letter. It’s where you add everything you really want to say, or is too hard/risque to say in the main body of the letter. An offer to meet him, privately. Why did he have to bold the world private? Why three kisses at the end? That is what “x, x, x” stands for. Maybe he’s just being sociable after his time in Europe. That’s probably what it is, this wasn’t meant to be anything and I don’t have to do anything about it. I’ve got what I need to finish my assignment and that’s the end of it.

Right?

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slvtbible · 6 years

Text

you were right

“Okay, yeah sure. I’ll meet you there in two hours yeah?”

Y/n has been listening to his conversation for the last thirty minutes. She has no idea who’s on the phone, but whoever it is that person gets him all smiley and giggling making him forget that his girlfriend is standing right there in the kitchen, preparing for dinner she made just for the two.

Harry ends the call shortly after, shoving his phone inside his back pocket and grabs his burgundy coat from the hanger, he doesn’t even turn his head around and look at her.

Y/n takes a notice and quickly realizes that he might not be eating dinner with her tonight, that he prefers going out with a friend and it truly breaks her heart. Considering he has many responsibilities to do and she rarely gets to see him,

“Where you going love?” She’s trying to keep her voice steady but fails,

He shrugs and runs his hand over his messy curls, clearing his throat before answering, “just going out to meet a friend. Don’t wait up for me.”

She feels her heart drops at his response. There’s something different about him, he never usually uses that tone with her. Ever.

Her shoulders slumps slightly and looks down on her food that she has just taken out from the oven, “But i just cooked for us.” She says, putting her hands on her hips.

“Who’s this you meeting with?”

He sighs, feeling incredibly annoyed. “Someone mutual. No worries.”

She scoffs, shaking her head. As if she believes everything he said.

“Mutual” she mutters out, chuckles bitterly to herself.

Harry stops for a moment and turn his head to look at her, an angry frown is visible on his perfect features.

“What’s tha’ supposed to mean?”

The only response he gets is just a simple shrug, while she dumps the food down on the bin, placing both plates on the sink.

“You hardly talk to me anymore Harry. You’ve only just got back from Cabo like, what? A week ago? Barely even spoken a word to me and now you’re leaving?” She asks in disbelief,

He rolls his eyes and she swears Harry couldn’t get anymore annoying,

“I barely see my friends too, you know tha’. Stop with tha’ nonsense.” He replies, looking at her with annoyance

She walks up to her and holds out her right hand, which he stares at for a moment and his eyes quickly looks back at hers,

“Wha’?”

“Let me see your phone. Come on.” She says, not looking at him. “I want to know who’s your going to see tonight.”

He eyes her in disbelief. “You crazy? I’m not going to give you my phone!”

“Now, Harry.”

“Jesus, Y/N could you just step the fuck-“

“Fucking now.” She snaps, finally looking at him with anger in her eyes,

He’s quite surprise with her sudden outburst but that doesn’t means he feels guilty. He has done nothing wrong.

So he just groans internally and hands her his phone, in which she quickly grasp with her hand and pushes the home button.

Her heart drops at the first notification,

“Kendall?” She croaks out, still staring at his phone. “You’re going out with Kendall Jenner?”

Harry is quick to grabs his phone back and pushes her to the side, doesn’t bother to answer his girlfriend

“Fucking answer me, Harry! What are you doing with her?” She yells out, feeling tears starts to build

He turns back around quickly, staring at his girlfriend’s hurtful eyes,

“Fuck sake! We aren’t not doing anything! We met at Cabo and we’re just catching things up. I’m not cheating on you or anything.” He rubs his temple and slips on his shoes,

She chuckles, “catching things up? So this is why you’ve been so absent lately? Because you rather to go out with your ex than your girlfriend?”

“That’s not it, Y/N. Stop being so clingy and get off my back.” He coldly says, knowing that it hurt her but he doesn’t care,

“Answer me you coward! Why are you with her? Am I not good enough, huh?” She yells again

Harry feels his blood starts to boil, he doesn’t need this right now. He’s starting to get a little irritated so when he opens his mouth, he knows he’s going to say something he regrets

“I don’t know it’s just, when it comes to you and Kendall. It’s different, way too fucking different. Me and her? We’re basically living in the same world. You and me? We’re nothing a like. That’s why I’m leaving so i can go meet her back at her place so could you please leave me the fuck alone!” He snaps, in between heavy breathing he can definitely feel how his heart drops and his eyes widens at his own words.

What has he done?

Her face falls afterwards, hot tears are streaming down her face. She freezes, staring at her boyfriend’s eyes who looks like he regrets everything he had say, wanting to say sorry but it’s too late.

“So uhm, basically I’m not good enough?” She asks in the most neutral voice as possible,

Harry is quick to shakes his head, worries and regrets washes all over his face as his own tears starts to show,

“No baby that’s- that’s not what i meant i-“

She holds her hands up so he can just stop talking, in which he obliges.

“That’s fine honest. I’ve heard that one before. Not surprised.” She mutters, turning her back around and march upstairs to get her things,

Harry follows her quickly, wanting to stop her from leaving.

He knows he’s fucked up but he can’t let her do this, she can’t leave.

“Love, please stop. I’m sorry.” He says in a shaky voice, seeing her grabs her clothes and shoves them forcefully inside her bag.

She stands up slowly and faces him with a fake smile plasters on her sweet face,

“Y/n baby please i-“

“I’m sorry” she says, looking down.

He only frowns, not really understanding why she’s apologizing.

“Sorry for not being good enough.” She shrugs with a bitter laugh, “sorry if I’m not supermodel like. Sorry if I wasn’t born in a rich family, sorry if i was such an embarrassment to you. I just wanted to spend time with you, I hardly get to see you anymore H. And it’s killing me.”

He hasn’t say any word because seeing her cry is possibly one of the worst sight. Especially when it because of him.

All his life, he has never make a woman cry. Not her mother not her sister. No one

But now he has,

“Peach, please stop crying, I didn’t mean what i said. I was just angry Love please believe me.”

She shakes her head, not wanting to hear anything from him.

“I just wanted to tell you something.” She speaks out, before taking a breath. “My professor has given me this case I’ve been after for like a few months now, and uh”

She stops for a moment to steady herself as he waits patiently for her to continue. He wants so badly to say something but he know he can’t,

“It’s about the human trafficking i was telling you about months ago. And i was really excited that i wanted to tell you all about it..”

He breaks out into a sad smile, and lets out a small laugh. “Baby, that’s amazing. Tell me, i know how excited you are-“

“But that is none of your concern anymore.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.

His smile falls. Fear consumes him after the words that comes out of her mouth,

No. This can’t be it.

“Look, baby i know i fucked up. I shouldn’t have lied to you or snapped at you. Please forgive me, my love. I promise I won’t do it again.”

She smiles and takes a step closer to him, her warm hand rests on his left cheek

“You were right, we are different . I won’t lie to you. And sadly it took me to see you angry at me to realize that.”

He shakes his head quickly, muttering out bunch of no’s. Grasping her wrist and wraps his other arm around her waist,

“No, baby. I swear that’s not it. I love you, please don’t go” he whispers into the palm of her hand, holding her tightly against him,

She pulled her lips into a tight line, looks into his beautiful green eyes that she knows for sure won’t be staring back at hers again.

“Gotta go, H.”

#harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles blurbs #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagines #harry styles preferences #harry styles fanfictions #one direction imagines #harry styles prompts #harry styles one shot

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artificialqueens · 6 years

Text

Just A Bit Of Fun (Rajadore) - Albatross

AN: Raja is bored and wants someone to talk to as they travel to the show…Adore would be perfect for that…if she would get off her damn phone!

So…I still have very little self control to stop myself from posting immediately after I’m finished. At least with this one I was forced to wait a few days due to my chronic condition of ‘lack-of-title’ (it’s totally a valid medical condition). Anyways Rajila is up next to be completed and the work is mostly done; it’s gonna be a short fluffy AU thing just cause I haven’t really done a one-shot of just that in awhile. I’m gonna be doing a sequel to 'She Doesn’t Know’ and I’m pretty sure the title will be 'Anathema’ cause I really fucking love that word and it kinda fits. Not sure if I’ll get to work on that one right after Rajila or if I’ll keep going with my Raja kick and start on the third installment of Rajalaskam. Thoughts? And someone please reassure me that this story does NOT need to turn into Biajadore!

Glancing towards the hunched over queen beside her, Raja rolled her eyes in annoyance and called out impatiently, “Adore?”

“Mm?” came the distracted reply from the opposite end of the couch.

“You gonna put your phone down anytime soon?” the older queen asked with an arched brow. Not that Adore would have noticed. Her eyes had been thoroughly glued to her screen for the last hour. It was a wonder she hadn’t gotten motion-sick from trying to read that small print whilst the bus was moving.

With a slight hint of sarcasm tinting her voice, Adore scoffed, “Why would I want to do that?”

“So you can be social…” Raja supplied irritably at the young queen’s flippant attitude, “You know, talk to people?”

Rolling her eyes, Adore muttered, “I am talking to people.”

“The people you are traveling with,” Raja shot back through all but clenched teeth. She wasn’t sure why Adore playing around with her phone bothered her so much, maybe it was just a generational thing? Or more likely that her own phone was still charging in the back after having been on it herself for much of the morning.

“I am!” Adore defended as her eyes darted to the accusing queen for half a second then back to her screen.

Skeptically, Raja demanded, “Who?”

“Bianca,” the young queen replied smugly as a little smirk worked its way across her lips.

'Should have known,’ Raja thought bitterly as she side-eyed Sharon sitting on the parallel couch. The blonde merely shrugged her shoulders as she continued her conversation with Phi Phi completely undisturbed by the chatter across the ways.

Perhaps that was another reason why Raja was annoyed; everyone had a conversation partner but her. Sharon and Phi Phi were paired off on the opposite couch and Cracker was more than content to shoot the breeze with Monet and Ginger in the booths surrounding the table in cozy little kitchenette. If Raja wanted someone to talk to, she usually would go hit up Manila but currently the younger queen was fast asleep in the back of the bus working off what was likely a pounding hangover. Seems she just can’t hold her alcohol as well anymore…or perhaps it was more so due to her drinking about a bottle and a half of wine on an empty stomach, courtesy of Raja’s splurging at the liquor store late last night. Either way Raja wanted someone to talk to and Adore would fit the bill if she would just get rid of that damned phone.

Trying her best to remain polite for the sake of continuing what little conversation they had going, Raja inquired, “Then why are you texting her?”

“She doesn’t want to leave her bunk,” the young queen replied simply.

Typical.

“Well, why haven’t you gone back there to talk to her?”

“Don’t want to get up,” the brunette stated in a bored tone.

It was here Raja finally had enough of the young queen’s apathetic attitude. Adore was going to put down the technology one way or another, Raja would make sure of that! Very deftly, she reached across the empty space between them and plucked the phone right out of Adore’s hands. It took the young queen a second too long to realize what had just happened but once the situation dawn on her, she pouted, “Hey! Give it back!”

“It’s not going to kill you to look away from your screen for ten minutes,” Raja argued calmly as she locked the phone and turned the blank screen out of sight to hide the flashing notification light.

With her bottom lip extending even further, Adore crossed her arms and grumbled, “Might if I have to look at your ugly mug.”

“Cute,” Raja remarked sarcastically. “Seriously, ten minutes. No phone, just talking to people right in front of you.”

At first it seemed like Adore would reluctantly give in to the request and Raja was almost fooled…until she noticed the young queen slyly sizing up the distance between them. In a sudden motion she launched herself towards Raja in an attempt to snatch the cell away but Raja easily anticipated the action. She scooted as far away as she could over the arm of the couch and held the phone tauntingly above her head.

Not even trying to hold back her smirk, the older queen chided, “Ah-ah. Twenty minutes now.”

“Raja, come on!” Adore whined as she made another grab for her phone.

Still pushing herself as best as she could over the edge of the couch, Raja continued to wave the phone around enticingly and just beyond the other queen’s reach. Not one to be made fun of, Adore quickly scrambled across what little empty space remained, solely focused on reclaiming her stolen phone. Her preoccupation was clearly evidenced by the fact that she was entirely disconcerted as to where her stretching limbs landed until she heard a hurried warning of, “Hey, watch your knee!”

Seems she got a little too close for comfort in a sensitive area.

Only somewhat apologetic, she mumbled “Sorry” and continued her efforts to snatch away her phone. She was just within an inch of touching it, thanks to pushing most of her body against the older queen’s, but that joy was short lived as Raja ducked her hand out of reach once more. This time she hid the phone behind her back, sneakily working it into the couch cushions where Adore was unlikely to find it anytime soon.

The turn of events only stalled the young brunette for a moment before her hands were darting past Raja’s sides in a frantic attempt to recover her property. Her fingers brushed against Raja’s belt and thinking for a second it was the edge of her phone case; she grabbed at the first solid thing she found. She realized much too late that what she was holding was far too fleshy to be her cell and swiftly recoiled in embarrassment.

“Ooh, frisky,” Raja teased as a light blush rose to Adore’s cheeks.

“Oh, fuck you!” she spat out in irritation and resumed her search among the cushions.

“Wouldn’t say 'no’ to that,” Raja whispered just low enough for her alone to hear. “You offering?”

Adore immediately froze in place forgetting everything except for what Raja had just said. Her heart was racing from the overexertion and her ears almost burning as she mumbled reproachfully, “You’re making this really weird.”

Tilting her head to the side, one of Raja’s hands found its way to Adore’s lower back in order to keep her steady and reminded her with another teasing smile, “You’re the one practically sitting in my lap right now…”

Adore was biting her tongue as she pulled back just enough to get a better look at Raja. Underneath all of that calm and composed exterior, she truly couldn’t tell if Raja was being serious or simply trying to rile her up. It wasn’t uncommon for either queen to tease their own friends like this…but never had it ever been directed towards each other. Tracing her fingers in a slow circular pattern along Adore’s back, Raja proposed thoughtfully, “Could make it weirder…”

The pair stared each other down for what felt like hours, neither one quite daring to make any bolder move but suddenly Adore found herself feeling overwhelmed under Raja’s suggestive gaze and let out a near panicked yell of “Bianca!”

At once a flurry of motion was heard from the back of the bus as a body landed heavily on the floor and rushed towards the common area. The only conscious thought that passed through Raja’s head as Bianca burst through the door was to put as much distance between herself and Adore as possible. Her actions could scarcely be called 'considerate’ or 'tactful’ as she hurriedly pushed the younger queen off her lap and tried her best to look innocent even after being caught in such a compromising situation. But much like a mama bear protecting her cub, Bianca was wholly skeptical of Raja’s intentions, especially given her known indulgences in Kai Kai-ing with younger queens.

Not even attempting to conceal her distaste for the scene she had burst in on, Bianca’s brow arched with a silent question of 'What’s going on here?’

For the life of her Raja was not going to answer that but to her exasperation Adore was quick to fill in the blanks.

“She took my phone!” she complained to the older queen.

A scowl worked its way onto Bianca’s face as she asked icily, “Where is it?”

Raja gave a simple shrug of her shoulders but neither of the other queens were convinced by the response. Adore let out a low, considering noise before she scurried back onto Raja’s end of the couch and shoved her hand between the older queen’s backside and the seat cushion. Hardly concerned with the tight space, she felt around blindly and practically groped Raja in the midst of her search.

Despite herself, Raja felt her cheeks flaring up as she glanced helplessly over to the less than amused queen staring her down. To anyone who were to walk onto the bus at that moment it would have looked as though Bianca were weighing the pros and cons of committing murder in front of six witnesses. Raja was almost tempted to blurt out that she wasn’t actually doing anything wrong this time but she kept her silence. Its not like it was her fault that Adore decided she wanted to get grabby again with Bianca less than three away from her!

Finally recovering the lost phone, Adore let out a triumphant call of, “Found it!” and held it up as though it were some sacred treasure.

She was almost ready to sit back down on her own side again when Bianca placed a steady hand against her mid-back. Instantly Adore’s head was turned up and directing her full attention towards the older queen. With a very pointed glare towards Raja, Bianca suggested firmly, “Danny, why don’t you come back and charge your phone?”

Despite the phrasing, the tone indicated it was much less of a question and more a strong advisement.

Seemingly clueless towards Bianca’s all but hidden irritation, Adore agreed with an absent statement of “Yeah…battery’s getting low,” and allowed the older queen to lead her back towards the nearly empty bunks.

A wave of utter shame washed over Raja as she realized that every other queen had stopped their conversations in order to watch the show in front of them. Part of her wished she knew what all they had seen and heard before Bianca showed up but another more rational part argued that it would only make her feel worse to know for certain. A cautious glance back to Sharon’s admonishing gaze confirmed that they had all seen enough though. The blonde gave her a silent look of 'You better know what you’re doing, girl,’ before turning her attention back to her conversation partner.

Very slowly, everyone allowed themselves to be consumed by their mindless chatter once more but Raja was now left utterly alone. Even if her phone was mostly charged by now, she didn’t dare go back into the bunks to reclaim it…nor to even go see if Manila had been awoken with all of the noise. She was entirely left to her own devices as she mulled over her less than respectable behavior.

A few hours later they arrived at the night’s venue and only then did Raja force herself to make her way back to her bunk to pick up her phone and any other belongings she’d need for the show. After being separated from her cell for so long it was no surprise to find it flashing with new alerts. Perhaps what concerned her the most was Bianca’s name popping up as the most recent contact. Dreading what the other queen had likely sent, Raja opened the text to find a very pointed message of 'You are fifteen years older than Adore. FIFTEEN!’

A rush of embarrassment surged inside her as she asserted, 'I wasn’t gonna do anything!’

The response came back almost immediately but it was only a simple ’…’

Raja could feel the silent judging from behind the screen even without the use of actual words. Hurriedly, she closed out the inbox and shoved the phone in her pocket. Only a few seconds passed before Bianca was at her side and staring her down in a way no one almost half a foot shorter than Raja should have been able to do so easily.

“I’ll say it again, queen. Fifteen,” Bianca spoke in a hushed, warning tone. “Remember that next time you decide to get handsy with someone young enough to be your kid.”

Against her better judgement, Raja spat back defiantly, “Is that what you tell yourself, too?”

Their gazes locked in a death match but Raja for one was a total wreck inside. She knew Bianca was right in all of this and if they had to go toe-to-toe in this growing Cold War, she was bound to lose spectacularly. Yet to her shock Bianca remained silent on the subject. She sent one final meaningful glare back to the older queen and grabbed the duffel bag from her bunk on her way back to the common area.

It was only after she was gone that Raja dared to breathe a sigh of relief. However that moment was short lived as Manila popped her out from the middle curtain behind Raja. Very much confused by the exchange and her still sleep-addled brain, she yawned out, “What was that all about?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Raja replied distractedly. “Doesn’t mean anything.”

*****

The tension remained with the queens for most of the evening but by the time they were en route to the the next city, it had seemingly disappeared into nothing. Every so often if Adore were to get a little too familiar with the older queen, Raja would turn her head to find a stern look of warning plastered on Bianca’s face. She hid her discomfort as best she could but there was always a little rush of shame that bubbled up whenever Adore would get too physical for Raja’s liking.

It was never anything risque; usually nothing more than a hand casually brushing along Raja’s thigh or even just Adore leaning heavily into her side as they laughed about some stupid, long-winded joke Sharon or Manila had told them. It was all in good fun, Raja thought to herself, so there was no call for Bianca to act like Raja was corrupting the young queen any more than she already was.

Besides, it’s not like Adore was a shining example of innocence and virtue anyway.

She was young, mostly carefree and loved to have a good time, whether it was by herself or with a partner. And that was all they were doing; just having fun with each other while on tour. Sure, Raja might have pushed the boundary a little on the bus but it was just a joke. Adore understood that so why couldn’t Bianca?

Despite the mistrustful attitude Bianca displayed from time to time, she seemed to have forgiven Raja’s transgressions for the most part. She still kept a watchful eye but she made no further comments on either Adore or Raja’s behavior. Not that either queen would have listened much either way. Adore was stubborn, as was Raja, and like twins they had a strong rebellious streak. If Bianca were to outright admonish them or try to drive them apart they almost certainly would have found their way back together like a matching set of magnets.

Perhaps that was why Adore found herself drawn to the older queen more than ever. Though Bianca didn’t say a word, it was clear she had reservations about Adore’s growing interest in Raja. Her actions were subtle; trying her best to keep Adore occupied and well away from the older queen if she were on her own or even joining the pair if they happened to be in too close proximity. Maybe that was what encouraged Adore to finally corner Raja in her dressing room one night after their show; Bianca had openly expressed her displeasure in seeing the two hanging out earlier so like a moth to the flame, Adore actively sought out the older queen again the first she got.

Raja wasn’t sure what to expect when Adore entered her dressing room that evening but the way she crowded the older queen against the table and pressed a series of lingering kisses up her neck to hover over her lips provided a solid indication. Raja was stunned to say the least; she never would have expected Adore to go for someone so much older than herself but she wouldn’t lie and say she hadn’t considered it once or twice before the tour. Her body remained frozen in shock as she debated what course of action she ought to take…at least until Adore’s hand traveled lightly down her chest while her head cocked to the side with one hell of an enticing offer; “I want to make things weird…you up for it?”

Pushing aside any further thought of what the other queens might say, Raja nodded her head in determination. A smug smile worked its way onto Adore’s lips and without another word she handed Raja the extra key card for her hotel room. Maybe this was another reason why Adore decided to make a move tonight; it was one of the few stops on their tour where they would be in the city long enough to justify booking hotel rooms for everyone. Though most of the queens were able to get suites in the same general area, Raja, Monet, and Ginger were given their lodgings on another floor.

Raja was quick to dump her belongings into said room and wasted little time finding her way down to Adore’s suite for the night. She had barely rapped her knuckle on the door more than twice before it swung open and Adore pulled the older queen into her embrace. Though Raja had expected the young queen to be somewhat feisty in bed, she felt unprepared for just how aggressive Adore’s behavior was that night.

The door had just barely been slammed shut before Raja’s lips were covered by Adore’s own. She felt herself smirking into the kiss as she eagerly led Adore backwards towards the bed and thought to herself that someone might finally give her a run for her money in the energy department tonight. Her usual behavior was to take things slow for her partner’s sake but that definitely wasn’t what Adore wanted tonight. Clothes were stripped in a matter of seconds and Adore quickly found herself securely trapped between Raja and the mattress. They wasted little time with foreplay, preferring to dive straight into the main course as quickly as possible and enjoy the services the other was offering up so eagerly.

Like well practiced routine, Raja made short work of preparing the younger queen and reducing her to such a mess it would be a wonder if she had any voice left to sing with tomorrow. Every broken moan was a demand for Raja to go faster. To make her scream and cry out. To work her body in a way only she knew how…and Raja couldn’t bring herself to refuse such a request.

This wouldn’t be considered a love-making session by any means; it was simply a chance for both queens to get off and release some of their pent-up energy after going so long without any action other than their own hand. Raja was careful to avoid leaving any obvious traces of what they were doing but the other queens were bound to catch on sooner rather than later once they recognized Adore’s voice. With each passing second the volume seemed to multiply until there was little doubt in the older queen’s mind that most of the floor would probably be hearing them tonight.

Before long it became evident that one of the neighbors had become thoroughly annoyed and was now pounding on the wall closest to the bed in an attempt to tell them to shut the fuck up. Far from being stifled however, Adore seemed to take that action as a challenge and became obnoxiously louder as she peppered in calls of Raja’s name. The older queen couldn’t help but to smirk as the pounding died out almost immediately and she pushed herself to become worthy of those complimentary cries.

She was giving Adore everything she could handle and then some as their bodies met one another over and over again until the sheets were a mess and both queens were wrecked from the effort. Adore released first with disturbingly loud call of Raja’s name and soon the older queen was following suit. After pulling out and discarding the condom Raja laid back against the pillows in a satisfied exhaustion while the younger queen bounced up to her side with a content and lazy grin.

Propping herself up on her elbow, she traced her free hand across Raja’s stomach and asked coyly, “You’re still good for another round, right? Don’t need to take a nap first?”

Rolling her eyes, Raja laughed out, “Fuck you! And yes, I’m good to go again…Just give me a minute to catch my breath, alright?”

Smirking in entirely trademark Adore fashion, the young queen replied, “Anything you want, old man.”

Raja silenced any other comments with a leisurely kiss and before long the queens descended into round two of the night.

The next day wasn’t nearly as weird as Raja thought it would be after spending the night with Adore. She would have expected herself to feel some trace of guilt or shame as she pried herself away the following morning to pick up the belongings in her room. Instead they shared just one more brief kiss and met up again in the hotel lobby to check out all while chatting casually about anything that came to mind.

As they walked back to the bus they were still laughing and joking around with each other as though nothing had changed from the previous day. It was comfortable and familiar and for that Raja was extremely grateful. Adore might have been a bit more flirty than before as she teased the older queen for falling asleep no more than ten minutes after their second session but Raja was quick to give it right back. She traced her fingers along the spots she knew made Adore weak in the knees, even daring to press a fleeting kiss to a more sensitive area on her neck as they climbed the stairs onto the bus.

Adore was giggling and squirming against her as Raja guided them both into the common area with an affectionate grin but that was soon wiped clean off her face as the brunette stopped dead in her tracks with a worried murmur. Raja could hardly dare to look up as the conversation that previously filled the bus came to an unsettling halt. Glancing around the room, her gaze settled on a very pissed off looking queen who was currently glaring at the pair through tired, dark-ringed eyes. Bianca seemed to be silently fuming as her fingers drummed along the surface of the couch and her glower bore right into the core of Raja’s soul.

It was a small guess as to who was probably banging on the wall last night.

Though Raja hated to admit it, she was actually more than a little intimidated by Bianca’s death glare, especially since it seemed to focused entirely on her. Though Adore did her best to look apologetic, Bianca was sparing no attention for the younger queen.

Trying to break the tension at least a little bit, Adore offered up a feeble, “At least you won’t need as much black liner tonight, right?”

#albatross #rajadore #raja gemini #adore delano #bianca del rio #manila luzon #sharon needles #fluff #smut #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant

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bratneykay · 6 years

Text

This Christmas

Word Count: 7660 I am so sorry

Warnings: Swearing, Indication of sexual intercourse

Author’s Note: The actual timeline might be off here but this is meant to take place during about a three-week break in between shooting Spiderman: Homecoming. Also this is hardly about Christmas, whoops, sorry.

“I know you do, but Tom—” You took the risk of looking at him. Shaking your head, you choke out a sob, “I just don’t know what to think anymore.”

Things between you and Tom have been hard recently, with his whole career flourishing. The whole Spiderman franchise really changed both of your lives. You were happy for him, but it always seemed like there was something missing, like something else was more important. He never answered your calls, hardly texted you back. He simply wasn’t there anymore.

“Don’t think, baby, don’t think.” He was confident with his statement, grabbing both of your hands in his and kissing them gently. “I’m here and I’m not leaving anytime soon.” He looked at you with so much love, so much adoration. You knew he meant it, but that didn’t stop your heart from grieving when he was away.

You sighed deeply, removing your hands out from his. “What about Zendaya?” You loved her, even before you truly got to know her. She was someone real, someone you’ve always looked up to. Tom, of course, clicked with her the moment they met. You remembered the way his face would light up as he would tell you stories over FaceTime, claiming she was, and I quote, “the funniest girl he has ever met.” It wasn’t like that put a dagger through your heart or anything.

(Not at all.)

“You know that’s nothing. You know she’s only a friend.” Yeah, quite a good friend. He has told you time and time again that this is something the media would do. Rumor him and his co-star together. You just never thought it would bother you so much.

“I love you, Tom. But I can’t do this anymore.” You took the last bit of courage you had left in you and closed your eyes. “I’m breaking up wi—”

The feeling of rough, wet kisses brings you out of your slumber. Your face twists into discomfort as you roll over onto your stomach. You tried to fall back asleep, rubbing your cheek on the soft sheets beneath you, but heavy breathing coming from beside you kept you from doing so. You turn your head to the side, opening your eyes to see the figure beside you.

A small gray canine was sitting on the bed next to you, her tail wagging swiftly behind her. The second your eyes meet hers, she bends down, attacking you with kisses yet again.

(Oh, Tessa.)

You push away from her, a soft smile coming to your face as you wipe away the slobbery wetness from your cheeks. (God I am so tired). As you slowly fluttered your eyes awake, adjusting to the bright lights coming in through the bedroom window, you took notice of your surroundings.

Tom’s childhood bedroom was nothing super fancy. It was small and cozy including many posters, friendly photos, and stickers that hung proudly on the walls. Not to mention the mass amount of Spider-Man gadgets around the room. The large bed in the center completed the room where you and Tom previously slept the night before.

Slowly petting Tessa beside you, you took notice of the red ribbon wrapped around her neck. (Well, this is new.) You took the material in between your fingers, rubbing it lightly.

“Shit. Fu—Tessa.” The raspy whispers brought your head up to the doorway, seeing your boyfriend quickly enter the room. “Fuck. Y/N, I’m so sorry...Tessa, come here.” His voice is still a hushed whisper as he shoos her off the bed and out of the room. He gives her a quick kiss on the head and taps her bum as she runs out of the room, the large ribbon around her neck flying wickedly. Tom quietly closes the door behind her, turning to you with a soft, sympathetic smile. “I am so sorry, darlin’.”

You couldn’t help your eyes as you scanned him over. He was wearing a black hoodie and your favorite pair of his pajama pants, plaid blue and black. He makes his way over to you, dropping his knee on the bed as he leans over to place a kiss on your head. “Good morning.”

You closed your eyes at the pressure of his lips on your hair, a low hum escaping you. “What time is it?” You asked, wiping away sleep you had left in your eyes.

He pulled back the covers of the bed, shuffling underneath it to lay next to you. You saw him pull out his phone from his pajama pants, the screen coming alive with the time. “About 9:40,” he read before unlocking his phone, going through his notifications.

You tried not to peak at the mass amount of text messages he’s received from his friends, Zendaya being one of the first he opened. Upon seeing the name, your mind was brought back to your dream of the night, your heart heavy as you replayed it in your mind. Of course you wished you didn’t feel the way you did. Unfortunately, your subconscious knew your heart better than you did, frequently coming up with scenarios your heart was so anxiously aching to. You almost felt guilty, having him so close to you with such thoughts running through your brain. “Is everyone else up?”

Your stomach turned as he simply smiled at his phone, his fingers quickly replying back to the message. (He doesn’t even hear me anymore.) Upon finishing his message, he finally replies. “Yeah,” he drops his phone on the bed and wraps his arm around you. “We’ve all been awake for hours.” He lays his chin atop your head, closing his eyes with a soft sigh.

These are the moments you missed most when he was gone. Tom used to be so good at making you feel loved, making you feel safe. Now? You don’t really know. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You ask, your fingers rubbing the material of his sweatshirt between your fingers.

“I know you didn’t sleep well last night. I felt you tossing a good toll of the night.” You could feel the vibrations off his chest as he spoke, “Honestly, I’m not surprised. I’ve always found it hard to sleep the night before Christmas.”

(Good job, Y/N.)

“Paddy really wanted me to wake you up. He’s dying to open presents.” He chuckles, slightly pulling away to look down at your face. “We had to tell him to wait.”

You put a hand to your face, silently cursing yourself for almost forgetting it was such an important day. Even more, you were so inconsiderate that you had everyone wait up for you. “Guess I was just too excited myself.” You force out a faint chuckle. That was a lie and you knew it. You spent over half the night having a debate with yourself regarding your relationship with the boy lying next to you.

“Don’t worry about it, babe.” He presses yet another kiss on top of your head. His phone vibrates on the bed, a call coming through. “Oh, it’s Z!” He removes himself from beside you, getting up off the bed. He doesn’t even give you a second look as he takes the call and walks out of the room. You hear his voice trail off as he walks down the hall, his voice definitely more alive than just a second ago.

(Okay I guess?)

You finally get yourself out of bed, walking down the hall to the guest bathroom. You were slightly jealous of Zendaya, you weren’t afraid to admit it to yourself anymore. Her and Tom just seemed to get along so well, talking about parts of their job that you just couldn’t relate to.

As you walk into the bathroom, you prepare yourself for your own reflection. You probably looked hideous; your hair sticking up in weird places, your eyes droopy.

You flipped on the light and glanced at the figure reflecting back at you. You were pleasantly surprised to see that your hair framed your face perfectly, your lips were a soft pink, and a gentle glow radiated off your skin. You actually looked pretty good, despite how you felt inside. (Maybe my body is compensating for the fact that I’m thinking about breaking the heart of a wonderful boy while also shattering my own.)

You took a few human minutes in your morning routine, deciding to stay in your leggings and tank top. As you cross the hall making your way back to the room, you can’t help but listen to Tom’s laugh from the edge of the stairs. “Definitely. I wish you were here as well,” he speaks into the phone. You don’t stay a second longer, not wanting to hear another word and shut the bedroom door behind you.

You go over to Tom’s suitcase, pulling out a light gray sweatshirt, throwing it over your head. Wearing his clothes just made you feel closer to him, even if he wasn’t actually there. That’s really what you needed right now.

Everything changed the second he went out on his first outing with his co-stars. He told you it was to get to know them better before they started filming. And while you were excited for him and this new journey he was taking, you were just praying he wouldn’t get lost in the fame of it all. It didn’t even cross your mind that he would neglect you from him. Guess you didn’t think this new journey would take away from you so much.

You roll your eyes at your own thoughts. (God, could I be any more selfish? I should just be grateful that I’m with him now.) Deciding you would need your mood lifted before you walked out of the room, you give your mom a call.

After hearing a few of the dial ringings, she answers. “Well Merry Christmas, my darling.”

“Hi, Mom.” A smile finds its way to your face at her voice. “Merry Christmas to you, too.” You couldn’t deny that your voice didn’t reflect the feelings you wished you had—it sounds more forced than anything else. “How are you?”

“I’m doing good, sweety. How are you, are you feeling better?”

You let out a deep sigh, running your fingers through your hair. “Not really.” You gave your mom a late night call last night, trying to get advice on how to organize your thoughts and feelings. “I just keep feeling like....” There was a tight, hot pull at your chest, resulting in your eyes prickling with tears. “I just really miss you.”

Around this time of year, you were always with your family, performing in traditions that you’ve known since you were little. Of course, Tom was the same way, excited in the idea that you’d be joining his family for Christmas this year. At the time, it was what you wanted too.

There was silence on the line before you hear your mother’s soft voice. “Honey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to have a wonderful Christmas with Tom and his family, New Year’s as well.” You felt as your head nodded along to her words, “Next thing you know you’ll be back home.”

You relished in the hope that her words would come true. You weren’t sure just how long you could feel this way without acting on something you’d regret. You dismissed your thoughts, shaking your head. You knew you would never be able to do such a thing, your heart was too invested in Tom. No matter what he did, you’d love him unconditionally. Wrapping up the call, you took one last glance in Tom’s closet mirror before stepping out of the room. The hallway was now empty, Tom nowhere to be found. Walking downstairs you hear the chatter of Tom’s family and frequent clattering of kitchen dishes.

“Why can’t we just wake her up?”

“Paddy, stop it. She’ll wake up soon enough.”

“It’s already 10 o’clock!”

You didn’t waste time in finally entering the kitchen, a guilty smile plastered on your face. Paddy shoots up the second he sees you. “Y/N!” He runs over to you, wrapping his small arms around you. “I’m so glad you’re awake. TOM, SHE’S AWAKE!”

You chuckle down at the little boy, ruffling his hair. “You can thank Tessa for that.” You smile as you see Tessa stroll into the kitchen not a second later, the ribbon around her neck now falling at weird angles.

“Oh, thank you, Tessa.” Paddy let’s go of you to run after the dog, chasing her into the living room. Your gaze follows him as he jumps onto the couch, Tessa by his side.

“Oh don’t mind him.” You turn your head to see Nikki, her hands brushing against her pants. “He’s always been impatient when it comes to presents.” She walks over and gives you a hug. “Merry Christmas, dear.”

“Merry Christmas.” You reply gently, the ends of your lips tugging upward at her generosity. “I’m sorry for sleeping in so late. I really didn’t know everyone was waiting for me.”

She waves her hands away, huffing out a breath, “Don’t you worry about it. I’m just glad you’re here.” Nicola was really something else. You were super nervous the first time Tom introduced you to his parents, your insecurities getting the best of you: ‘what if they don’t like me, maybe they’ll think I’m not good enough for him, should I even be doing this?’ But Tom assured you many times that his parents were not ones to judge and that you’d get along well with his mom. And he wasn’t wrong. Nikki made you feel so comfortable the moment you met her. “Tom said you didn’t sleep well. I hope you’re feeling better. Mind grabbing the boys for presents?” She gives you a warm smile before walking into the next room, retrieving her husband.

You are suddenly left alone in the kitchen, the sound of brotherly banter heard from outside. You slowly make your way through the kitchen to the sliding glass door leading to the backyard.

(Oh my goodness. These boys.) As you lean against the door, glancing outside, you see none other than Tom chatting with the twins. Outside. In the winter.

“I can do it!”

“Not as well as I can.”

They had the large blue mat laid out in the backyard, bickering on who could do the most flips. You quietly open the glass slider, stepping outside. The fresh winter air bites your nose, your arms instinctively crossing over themselves to keep the bit of warmth left in you. (Thank goodness I grabbed his jumper.)

Harry shoved Sam onto the mat, laughing at his brother’s own ignorance; no one can beat Tom. “Let’s go, Sam. You got this, I think?”

Sam really did his best to do at least a double flip, but he ended up falling straight onto his face. Tom and Harry were the first to burst into laughs while you had to cover your mouth with your sleeve-covered hand to mask your giggles.

“That’s the best you can do, dickhead?” Tom teased out.

“You do it then,” Harry called out to him, giving him a rough push towards the mat. “Mr. bloody Spiderman.” Sam jumped down off the mat, ruffling his own hair.

(Ooh. He really shouldn’t have said that.)

Right on cue, Tom gave him the brightest grin, winking once at his brother. “You really shouldn’t have said that.” He laughs, setting himself in front of the mat.

You smile to yourself at how well you know your boyfriend. Biting your lip you wait and watch Tom, expecting him to wow his brothers, per usual.

Tom stands tall as he preps himself in front of the mat, clearly concentrating on accomplishing this unspoken bet between his younger brothers. He took a deep breath, taking a running start before doing a cartwheel into a full twisted layout.

He smirks as he spots his landing, raising his eyebrows at his brother. “Spiderman just owned your ass.” He chuckles as Sam rolls his eyes, Harry just laughing wildly beside him. Tom finally sees you standing in the doorway as he steps off the mat and wraps both his arm around the pouting Sam. “Hey, darlin’.” He grins at you, his eyes shining as he takes notice in your sweater of choice.

You smile, taking a deep breath of the morning air. “Hi,” you breathe out; you couldn’t deny how good he looked with his hair all tousled after his flips. Your teeth scale over your bottom lip before you speak quietly, “Your mum wants you all inside. I think we’re starting presents.” The twins automatically race into the house, giving each other playful pushes as they pass you. You hear one of them mutter, “I told you, you bloody idiot.” Their words bring a grin to your face and you lift your head up to see your boyfriend, smiling down at you. “Hi.” You breathe out again.

He laughs, his smile widening even further, “Hi.” He stares down at you for a couple seconds before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. He pulls away, licking his lips, “I forgot to tell you Merry Christmas earlier.”

“Merry Christmas to you too Tom.” You whisper back, taking a bit longer to compose yourself after the simple kiss. You place your hands on his chest, gripping lightly at the large black hoodie, “We should probably go inside now.”

He nods, placing a kiss on the top of your head. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, leading you both inside. “You look good in my jumper.” He mumbles out, choosing not to comment on the blush that rose to your cheeks. You let him close the glass slider behind you before the pair of you enter the den.

Tom’s family really went all out on the Christmas decorations. From the kitchen to the den, holiday-themed decorations were arranged everywhere, the tree, of course, being the most magical.

Seeing as there are no more seats on the couch, you and Tom settle on the floor next to Paddy and Tessa, Tom placing himself next to Tessa. “Alright Paddy, go!” Tom shouts, allowing the young boy to finally open his first present.

Not a second later, Paddy is ripping off the beautiful Christmas paper. His cheeks are painted red as he eagerly glances down at what his parents got him. Suddenly, he’s grabbing hold of his new present, jumping up and down with excitement.

Everyone took turns opening presents, including yourself. Turns out your parents arranged to have your presents from your family shipped to Tom’s parent’s house, allowing you open them on this Christmas morning. “Oh wow, this is beautiful.” You gush as you pull out a beautiful navy dress, gifted by your grandmother. “For when Tom takes you to one of his many events on the red carpet,” You read the note inside the box, “Or when Tom simply wants to..” You stop and put the card down, biting your lip. “What a great present. Thank you, Grandma.”

Tom grabs the card from you, his eyes scanning over the card to finish the unspoken part of the note. He laughs and looks back to you with a wicked smile. He winks at you once while you roll your eyes. “Alright, Tom. Your turn.” You reach over for your neatly wrapped present for him, “Merry Christmas.”

He places the card down by his side, definitely wanting to keep it to joke with later on and gently grabs the present from you. As he unwraps it slowly, you can’t help but pray that he’ll like what you got him.

Shopping for Tom was always difficult. You were no celebrity, no one really successful; you were just a normal girl living the everyday life, so you didn’t exactly have the kind of money to get him something super spectacular. If you were being honest, anything you could get him, he could definitely afford to get himself. Not to mention, you just weren’t great with gift giving either. This was the reason behind your ground rule of ‘No over the top, expensive presents.’ Tom, of course, hated this rule, always wanting to spoil you with surprises. But this rule kept things balanced between you two, never having to feel like either of you (mostly you) were pressured to reciprocate.

“Ah, a new pair of sneakers,” he pulls the rest of the wrapping paper off, opening the box and looking inside. “Oh, babe, these are great!” He gushed over the shoes, picking them up to show the rest of the family. It wasn’t like you got him some cheap brand of athletic shoes, but they definitely weren’t anything for him to fawn over.

“I know you’ve been wanting new ones since yours are getting a bit scuffed up, so yeah. Plus I’ve heard they are really comfy.” You shrug your shoulders, knowing it wasn’t anything too amazing. “I hope you like them.” He looks at you with a smile, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheeks. And that’s all you needed to understand how he felt. (It’s the thought that counts.)

“Okay!” Nikki shouted from the couch, almost making you jump from the spot on the floor. She quickly stands up and walks to the Christmas tree, pulling out a hidden card that was somewhere on the tree. (Where in the world..?). “Y/N, Tom; this is for you.” She hands you the white envelope with the pair of your names on it.

Seeing both your name and Tom’s written together, side by side to represent a pair melted your heart a little. You loved this boy more than life itself and whether or not you would admit it to yourself, this was the one you wanted. You wanted Tom to be it for you, the one you’d settle down for, the one who would raise your children, the one who wouldn’t only be a chapter in your book, but part of the title. It’s what you wanted, but you weren’t sure if wanting it was enough to make it happen anymore.

You take the envelope from her, holding it off to Tom to open. “You go ahead and open it,” he replied, pushing the wrapped card back to you.

“But it’s from your mum, I think you should open it,” you whisper back to him. In your mind, it made sense to have Tom open a gift from his mother, even if it was for both of you.

He shakes his head at you, biting back a grin, “I already know what it is, darlin’.” With confusion laced on your face, you take hold of the card in your hands. You slowly peel apart the wrapped letter. Pulling out the card, you read the note inside, “Y/N, we remember the first time Tom finally spoke up about you. We all knew something in his heart had changed, something in his life sparked a new feature of Tom we didn’t even know existed. Tom, we can see in your eyes that Y/N is the love of your life and we wish that this deep affection between you two is everlasting. We hope you enjoy each other’s company on this journey, Merry Christmas.” You heart warmed at Nikki’s words, “Love, Mom, Dad, Harry, Sam, Paddy & Tessa.”

You look up to see all of them staring at you expectantly while you gently bite your lip. (They are honestly scaring me right now.) You fold apart the paper that was placed inside the card. Before you can even gasp, your hand coming to rest against your mouth, Nikki is speaking quickly, “It’s a trip! For you and Tom, to go to—”

“Paris, Rome, Sydney, Beijing…” You finish, speaking out incredulously. “Is this re—. Are you serious?” She simply nods her head with a radiant smile. You truly didn’t know what to say at this moment. A whole trip. For you and Tom. You looked at Tom abruptly, giving him almost a knowing glare. He throws his hands up with an innocent laugh, pointing to his parents. This was his ‘I had nothing to do with this. This was all them’ response. “Guys.” You look between all of them, swallowing the large lump you had in your throat, “This is just really...Thank you.” Tears of graciousness start to well in your eyes while you feel like your heart was beating out of your chest; you couldn’t even begin to imagine how much this costs, you were already bringing in the guilt of receiving such an expensive present.

You give each and every one of Tom’s family members a warm hug, trying to keep yourself from sputtering out how truly generous this gift was to you. Coming full circle to Tom, you grin so big you know it’s going to hurt you later on. But right now, you didn’t have any care in the world. You jump in his lap, your legs wrapping around his middle to hold him tight. A whole two weeks on a romantic trip around the world, with your boyfriend. Alone. The thought made more tears surge to your eyes as you tuck your head into his neck.

He simply laughs at your overwhelmingly positive response, rubbing your back for comfort. After a few moments of you just sitting in his lap, the smile never leaving his face, you calmed yourself down and he spoke to you “Darlin’, we’re not done yet.” He mutters, pulling you away from him. He presses his hands to your face, moving away the hair that stuck to your cheeks. “You have one more.” He whispers just enough for you to hear.

You nod your head, wiping the tears from your face and hopping off his lap. (Well, I probably look hideous right now.) As you continue to calm yourself, Tom hunts for your present under the tree and comes back, handing you a small white box with an aqua blue bow on it. Biting your lip, you look at him skeptically. You’re almost worried that he decided to go well and beyond with a present this year as well.

It’s almost like he reads your mind, responding quickly, “Don’t worry. Not nearly as expensive.” He brings his knees towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He nods to you to continue with your gift, his own cheeks turning a bit pink.

There was no wrapping paper, allowing you to simply pull the top of the box off to reveal the beautiful gold bracelet beneath it. You carefully pull it out, admiring the shining beauty. “Oh, Tom.” Yet again, you were taken away. You believed him when he said it wasn’t expensive, but I mean, I got him fucking shoes. “A charm bracelet?” You look back down to the bangle, turning over the heart charm that was attached. It read:

Y/N, I’ll love you forever and always darling. -Tom

“Yeah,” he mutters, biting his lip as he watches you take it all in. “Thought you could find some really cool charms on our trip.” He looks down nervously at his hands, rubbing them together.

“Tom,” you repeat again, shaking your head in disbelief. He looked up at you, biting his lip to suppress a nervous smile. For about the tenth time this morning, you were lost for words. Which led you to the decision of not using words to express how you felt, but by leaning over him and giving him a sweet kiss on the lips. You both wanted the kiss to last a bit longer, but PDA was never something either of you liked, especially in front of his family. “I love it. And I love you,” you whisper, now being the one to rub his hair back from his eyes. “..so much.”

“And you guys,” you continue, looking back at the rest of his family, hoping one day you can call them yours. “I love all of you and I really can’t thank you enough.” They were all smiling back at you. You relished in this feeling, Tom by your side, his family supporting the both of you. (I couldn’t have asked for anything better.)

It seemed as if everyone was starting to wrap up the morning, Tom deciding to finally give Tessa her present. After collecting all the trash and helping clean up the living room, you make your way into the kitchen. A smile wouldn’t leave your face. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the idea that you’d finally get to spend quality time with your boyfriend after him being gone and distant for so long. Taking one last glance at your boyfriend, him turning to you with a smile, you get yourself some well-deserved coffee.

The rest of the day was pretty relaxed, you and Tom chilling out on the couch watching the Christmas movies that were being played on TV. Lucky for Tom, one of his favorite movies ‘Just Friends’ was playing. “What do you think would happen if one of us friend zoned the other?” He asks out of nowhere, his teeth chewing on his lip. “Like, what do you think would have happened if you and I didn’t...kiss that one night?” He’s looking down at you now, actually expecting an answer.

You definitely remember your and Tom’s first kiss, but you couldn’t remember what your life was like before Tom. You just couldn’t picture your life now without him. “I truly don’t know. We’d just be friends, maybe?” You laugh with a shake of your head, “My mind doesn’t want to think of a future without you in it if I’m being quite honest.” You couldn’t tell if that was the answer he was hoping for, but he simply shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

Later in the evening, the Holland threw a bit of an ‘After Christmas Party,’ including many of Tom’s family and close friends, all you’ve met before. They all greeted both you and Tom at their arrival, each adding a small remark about how lovely you pair were together. Each thoughtful compliment brought a grin to both of you and made your heart yearn more and more for the boy next to you.

“Paddy, get your arse back in the house!” Dominic shouts from the kitchen. You all turn your head to Tom’s dad who seemed to be cursing the young one for being outside at this time.

“I’m gonna grab something to drink, you want anything?” You announced to Tom before getting up and walking to the kitchen. You go to the fridge, pulling out two beers for your boyfriend and Harrison. “To be fair, Tom was playing outside with the boys earlier.”

Dominic turns to you with a nod, “I’ll keep that in mind.” He chuckles, before closing the slider and locking it. “So, Y/N.” He looks to you, clasping his hands together. “How are you?” He leans his body on the counter across from you.

“I’m doing pretty well,” you nod, taking a sip of your own drink. “I’m so thankful to be here for the holidays. I really miss you all and Tom.”

“So Tom is treating you well then?” He raises his eyebrows. This wasn’t an unusual conversation. Dominic frequently made sure Tom was treating you with respect and each time, it made your heart swell.

You look over to Tom, sitting and laughing with his friends on the couch, his laughter filling you with joy. “Always.” You turn back to Dominic, “He’s without a doubt, the most kind and honest man I have ever met.” Just thinking back to all the times Tom really proved to you that he was true, and not the ‘superstar punk’ everyone thought him out to be, made you smile. “I love him more than anything in this world. I just really miss him when he’s away.”

“Yeah, I bet. We all do.” He sighs, rubbing his hands through his hair. You bit back a smile, recognizing the same movements in Tom. “But we’re all so proud of him and it makes him coming back home more special.” His words definitely struck you there. Tom would come back to see you whenever he could, even if it was just for the weekend. He would come back and the two of you would be inseparable, basking in the time you had.

You thought about your dream and thoughts of this morning, it never truly leaving your conscious, and chuckled to yourself. “Thanks, Dominic.” You smile, walking back to living room. He gave you a nod in response; whether or not he knew what was going through your mind, he tamed all of your insecurities on your relationship.

“Don’t you dare!” You warn Tom, his eyebrows raised towards you. With his eyes twinkling, he slowly brings the shot glass to his lips and takes it back with a sigh. “You dick!” You laugh, lightly punching him in the arm. Of course, that made no dent to him, he hardly even shifted.

“I’m sorry, darlin’, but trust me, you really don’t wanna know.” His grins as he looks back to Harrison, who’s about to fall off his chair from laughing so hard. After the majority of the party guests left, you, Tom, and the remaining of your friends all decided to play your own drinking game.

“You know, you’ll have to tell me about it eventually.” You say matter-of-factly, leaning your body towards him.

He sees this as a challenge and leans back, his chest pressing against yours. “Oh, I will, will I?” He teases back, his nose coming to rub against yours.

You hum in defeat, leaning back in your chair. (I’ll get what I want eventually.) He just laughs, resting back in the dining room chair, his arm resting on the back of yours. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he answers the incoming FaceTime call. “Hey, Zendaya! I’m here with Y/N and Harrison, say Hi.”

You turn your head to see Zendaya, as beautiful as ever, displayed on Tom’s phone, waving back at you guys. “Hey, Z! How are you?” You smile politely, gently waving back at her as you rested your head on Tom’s shoulder.

“Oh Y/N! I want to talk to you!” She shouts excitedly from her end of the phone call. You gently take the phone from Tom, getting up to leave the table.

“Oh, so you just called for Y/N. I see how it is Z!” Tom playfully scowls. You roll your eyes at your boyfriend, a smile playing on your lips.

Leaving the dining room, you make your way up the stairs towards the room. “Hey, so what’s up? How was your Christmas?”

“It was awesome. Played with the little guys,” she moved the screen to show the mess of toys around her family’s living room. “It was a bit of show, but they’re taking naps now.” She laughs, moving the hair from out of her face. “But how are you? Did you like Tom’s present?”

You close the door of the bedroom, now sitting on the bed, “Yeah! It’s so pretty!” You move the screen down to show her the bracelet that was resting perfectly on your wrist. You played with the charm containing the inscription, smiling to yourself.

“Not that one, the vacation!” She smiles, “though that is really nice.”

“Oh. You mean Tom’s parents?” You ask a bit confused.

“Is that what he told you?” She raises her brow a bit. There’s some shuffling from the other side of the call, sounding as if she’s moving around. “No matter what he says, that was all Tom.” She shakes her head, the sound of a door closing heard through the speaker. “That boy went through so much to work that out.”

Your mouth drops a bit, more confusion laced on your face than ever. Before you say a word, she speaks quickly. “He’s been working that out for weeks. He kept complaining to the directors about how he wanted to bring you on set, just to visit him for at least a couple days every few weeks.” She lays down on her bed, holding the phone above her, “but they wouldn’t let him. You know him, the poor guy lets everything slip.”

“Wait, hold on.” You hold your hand up, shaking your head. “Tom planned a trip. A trip around the whole freakin’ world. Because he wanted to see me?” You were just trying to understand the gist without asking the source himself.

“Pretty much,” she nods along. “He had to schedule time off with the directors and everything. He really misses you.” She finishes, silence now filling the air.

You don’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Wow, I really don’t know what to say. I hate that he went through so much trouble for me.” You bite your lip, suppressing a smile that is trying to emerge.

“Oh god, Y/N. That boy would do anything for you. Anything.” You knew she meant it and you believed her; Tom has told you that himself. “Oh. Shoo—Y/N, I have to go. The beasts have awoken.” She laughs, more shuffling heard as she moves off her bed. “Talk to you later, babe. B—.” The call ends before you have a chance to speak through.

You were just so speechless. (When aren’t I, to be honest?) You lay the phone on the bed beside you, bringing your hands back to your lap. You couldn’t believe that Tom would go through as much trouble as he did just to get time off to see you, not to mention plan it without telling you. All the dropped FaceTime calls, delayed text messages, missed calls; he wasn’t pushing away from you, just truly busy. While you were missing him, he was missing you. And here you thought it was only one-way.

Suddenly, you were crying. You couldn’t explain why, but the tears didn’t stop. You just couldn’t stop thinking about how much you loved him and how, through everything, this man was your everything. You couldn’t picture happiness without him included. “Fuck—” You whispered to yourself with a small laugh, sniffling at your overwhelmed emotions.

Two knocks at the door brought you out of your daze, Tom’s head peeking through. “Babe?” The second he sees your tear-stained face, he’s rushing over to kneel before you. “Y/N, shit.” He moved the hair out of your face, “What happened?” His concerned eyes made a couple more tears fall down your cheeks while you let out a shaky breath.

“These are..happy tears, Tom.” You choke out with a quiet chuckle, looking into his soft brown eyes. He lets out a relieved sigh, still looking back at you questionably. “I’m just...so...overjoyed. I mean, I feel like I don’t deserve this.” He takes your hand in his, letting you talk out your emotions. “But I am so in love with you. And your family. Seeing your brothers,” you sniff, smiling as you shake your head, “those boys make my day more than you know.” You’re full on laughing now, thinking back to this morning. “And your parents...And you.” Looking back at Tom’s face, all your worries were gone, any and everything you ever wanted to be was written in the color of his eyes, the flow of his hair, the curve of his lips. (He is everything.)

“I..I want to marry you, Tom.” You whisper quietly, almost afraid you didn’t say it at all. “I don’t want to lose you, or your family, or Tessa. Ever.” Your heart was beating fast in your chest, finally aware that you were getting things off your chest. “I want to know that every time you go away..to film, on a press tour...that you’ll be coming right back. To me.”

As he stares at you, almost speechless, you realize the severity of the words you said. You both would constantly say I hope this relationship would last forever and I want you in my life forever, but there was never a clear ‘I want a marriage with you’ conversation. “I just wanted you to know,” you whisper. You didn’t regret what you said, everything ringing very true in your heart.

“Y/N,” he whispers, causing your eyes to lift to meet his. “I...I love you more than anything in this world. You know that.” He nervously chuckles to himself, licking his lips. “But I don’t...I want...I wish for you to want to marry me because you actually want to be with me forever. Not because you’re scared you’re gonna lose me.” He’s looking at you seriously, “Darlin’, I’m not going anywhere.”

You vaguely remember him saying that in your dream and smile to yourself, shaking your head. “Tom, whether you know this or not, I have our kid’s names picked out.” That brought a real laugh out of him, causing you to grin. “I want to buy a house with you and carve our names into it. I want to wake up to your messy hair, “ you gently ruffle his hair, “and drool running down your chin. I want—”

“To argue with you all the time, constantly having to remind myself that you’re always right.” He continues for you. “I want your annoying arse to keep me in check when I think I’m the shit. And I want to build a life with you.” He leans forward and kisses you passionately, his hand coming to rub your cheek. Your lips melt around his, his pace slow and loving. He pulls away to whisper against your lips, “Y/N, I want a marriage with you.”

You pull his face to yours, your lips reattaching and lean back on the bed. Tom follows, hovering above you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you tug him down so his body rests on top of yours. Somehow your body just fit together in a way you wouldn’t have even thought to notice. The moment you felt the warmth of his body on top of yours, you moaned quietly, tugging gently at the ends of his hair. Pulling away, he smirks down at you, “So, do you wanna…?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively.

You giggle, shaking your head. “What about your parents and everyone downstairs?”

“They won’t hear us from up here, trust me.” He presses a few kisses on your collarbone, leading up to your neck. “Besides, most of them left when you came up here.” Biting your lip, you nod with a sigh at the feeling of his lips against your skin. “Should I go and get your grandmother’s dress then?”

You both laugh out loud, nudging him in the chest at his joke. (This boy. My boy.) You grab him by the shirt, pulling him towards you. You close your eyes as he kisses you, falling in the bliss of his touch.

In the dead of the night, Tom wakes up from the overwhelming amount of heat radiating from his body. “Fuck.” He whispers, pushing off the large comforter that rested on top of him. He feels a small tug on his abdomen, the sound of a soft whine protesting from beside him. Looking over, he sees Y/N, sound asleep with her face dug into the pillow. With her arm wrapped around his center, her bare chest hardly covered by the blanket, and her hair a disheveled nest, to him, she looked absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. He carefully, removed her arm from around him, whispering out an apology when she whined and rolled over. He smiled to himself, taking one last glance at her before lifting himself from the bed. He grabs his black shirt off the floor and quietly leaves the room. He makes his way downstairs, grabbing a glass from the kitchen and getting himself some water.

“Can’t sleep?” A voice behind him calls, startling Tom in his spot.

“Dickhead!” He yells in a whisper, turning around to see his dad sitting at the dining room table, tea in his hand. “Dad, seriously?”

“What’s wrong, Superstar?” He laughs, his voice low.

Tom rolls his eyes, deciding to make himself some tea as well. “Why are you awake at this time?” Tom asks, adding some sugar to his cup.

“Couldn’t sleep. And yourself?” He takes a sip of his tea as Tom joins him at the table.

“Y/N. I’m so glad she’s finally getting some sleep, but man does she like a lot of blankets.” He laughs, taking a quick sip of his drink. “Thanks again for the trip and everything. She’s so excited about it.”

“I’m glad she liked your gift, Tom.” He chuckles, looking at his son. With a few moments of silence, he speaks up again, “Are you nervous?”

Tom looks up at his father, swallowing down the contents in his mouth and shakes his head. “I definitely was,” he bites his lip. He thinks back to the conversation the pair of you had some hours ago and grins wide. “Not anymore.”

His smile mimics his son’s, glad he has finally found someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. “Do you think she suspects anything?”

“She might.” He hums, silently laughing to himself. “But I don’t really care at this point. I just can’t wait to start my life with her.”

“I’m so happy for you, Tom. Y/N is really something.” Dominic puts a hand on his shoulder in support.

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking down at his hands, the thought of your sleeping form in his mind. “She really is.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST ON YOUR DASH. THE BREAK WON’T WORK ON MOBILE.

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buoyantsaturn · 6 years

Text

Supercut (1/1)

summary: supercut: a compilation of a large number of short video clips or supercut: a story told in instagram posts

it's a fic based on this headcanon list!!

word count: 4380

read on ao3 ((recommended for formatting))

[TheGhostKing]

[2387 posts. 89024 followers. 231 following.]

[Nico di Angelo. 20. LA.]

Nico always had his notifications turned off - with as many followers as he had, it was understandable, since the notifications came in like a flood at all hours of the day. That didn’t mean that he completely ignored them, of course, because he liked reading some of the comments that people would leave him and - since he’d started getting paid by sponsors for his posts (which he still didn’t fully understand, but he wasn’t going to complain) - he liked seeing which of his posts got more likes and comments than others.

For the most part, the pictures with Nico’s face in them got the most reaction. A lot of the time, the comments that people would leave on those pictures made Nico a little bit uncomfortable - they were like catcalls, only over the internet - but Nico figured he could ignore it and leave commenting enabled because the good comments he got outweighed the bad.

There was one new follower that Nico had recently gotten, whose name kept popping up on Nico’s notifications as he scrolled through them. He liked a lot of Nico’s pictures, though when Nico went through and checked, the only ones that he’d liked had Nico’s face in them - a lot of people did that, sure, but those people also tended to leave the creepiest comments. This follower - sunshine.solace - had only left Nico one comment on his most recent picture of himself which said only a single word: beautiful.

Out of boredom, Nico decided to check out sunshine.solace’s account. He had about two hundred followers, much less than Nico, and his pictures were all much brighter and had happier vibes than any of Nico’s. His picture was of a pretty blond boy with golden hair and a million freckles, such a wide smile that his eyes were nearly shut - Nico guessed that the picture was taken in the middle of a laugh - and he had three stripes painted on his cheeks in the color of the bi-pride flag. His bio was simple: will. 21. bi.

Every picture that Will had ever posted was stunning. Perfect lens flares, just the right angles, a sort of brightness that was calming rather than blinding. The subject of most of the pictures - the same beautiful blond from the profile picture - was the best part of it all. Nico could stare at those pictures all day if he could.

He liked one of them. Without thinking, he opened up his DMs and sent a message to Will: hey sunshine. His brain didn’t catch up until the message had already been sent, and there was no getting it back.

Nico shut off the screen and shoved the phone under his pillow, as if that would prevent any response from coming through. His phone buzzed, and Nico hoped it was a text or an email or anything but a response and without checking it, he grabbed the phone and ran out of his room and into the living room where Hazel was sitting on the couch.

He practically dove onto the couch, shoving the phone into Hazel’s hand before hugging a pillow close to his chest.

“What’s happening right now?” Hazel asked, muting the TV before turning so that her brother had her full attention.

“You know how you and Jason always say that I should just go for it and talk to somebody? You know, like, date-wise?” Nico said, staring at his phone like he was afraid of it.

“Yes, I believe I recall saying something like that,” Hazel said.

“I messaged somebody on Instagram,” he said. “I don’t know why, I have no idea what I was thinking, but I think he responded and I’m too afraid to look at it.”

“You’re freaking out and you don’t even know if he answered?” Hazel asked. She rolled her eyes and unlocked her brother’s phone. “Sunshine.solace, is that him?”

“Yeah,” Nico croaked, and held the pillow closer.

“He said, hey ghost king, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Hazel started to hand the phone back before he stopped herself and said, “Do you need me to answer this, too? Or are you going to be able to hold a conversation with him?”

“How could he answer so calmly?” Nico said. “How do people not freak out over stuff like this?”

“Maybe he is freaking out, but he knows how to sound super calm over text,” Hazel offered, and started typing something. “Or maybe he also made his sister text for him.”

“Wait, Hazel, what are you sending?” Nico demanded, and crawled forward to grab for his phone, but Hazel held it out of his reach. “Hazel, please.”

“There, sent.” She handed the phone over, and Nico felt like he was going to throw up from the nerves. “You’re welcome. I’m sure you can handle yourself from here.”

“What did you do?” Nico said, and had to read over the message about three times before he finally started comprehending the words. The pleasure is all mine, since I get to talk to someone with such a pretty face. “Hazel, what the hell is this!”

“It’s flirting, you should try it sometime.”

“But I don’t talk like this! And now he’s not responding, look at what you did!”

Just then, his phone buzzed in his hand, three times in quick succession.

sunshine.solace: oh

sunshine.solace: oh wow

sunshine.solace: um

“Hazel, I think you scared him,” Nico said, but his phone buzzed again.

sunshine.solace: sorry, its not often that someone as beautiful as you are calls me pretty

“Oh, shit,” Nico breathed. He whispered, “Hazel, he said I’m beautiful,” as if speaking up might scare the other boy away.

“Oh, good, you’re flirting,” Hazel said, her attention turned back to the TV. “Find out if he lives anywhere near here and maybe ask him out. Good luck.”

“You’re not going to help me?” Nico asked.

“Gotta learn how to do stuff for yourself eventually,” Hazel answered. “Now you better hurry up and reply before he thinks you’re not interested anymore.”

“Shit!”

[2 minutes ago]

[Image: a cup of coffee with a heart drawn from milk. Behind it, the coffeeshop is a distant blur.]

[ sunshine.solace i have a date with the prettiest boy i’ve ever seen and i think this is the barista’s way of wishing me luck]

Will had gotten to the coffeeshop much earlier than he should have - it wasn’t his fault (it absolutely was), he just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be late. So he sat in his seat near the window for about twenty minutes, not wanting to ruin the heart in his coffee and instead letting it get cold while he waited for his date to arrive.

He was expecting to get stood up, to be quite honest. He hardly believed that he’d actually been asked on a date by Nico di Angelo, so until he saw Nico walking past the window and through the door of the coffeeshop, he still didn’t think it was true. Nico ordered his coffee, waited by the counter until it was ready, and made his way over to Will once he recognized him.

He sat down across from Will. Nico di Angelo was sitting down across from him.

Nico started fidgeting uncomfortably under Will’s stare, so he looked down at his coffee once he realized he was being rude. “Um. Hi.”

“Hi. Will, right?” Nico asked, and Will thought he might melt at his lightly accented voice. The corner of Nico’s mouth quirked up as he continued, “Or do you prefer Sunshine?”

He smiled, resting his chin on his hand as he let his gaze return to the other boy. “Will is fine. Is it Nico, or Your Highness the Ghost King?”

Nico snorted. “Please. It’s just Your Highness.” Nico took a sip of his drink in hopes of bridging a somewhat awkward pause in the conversation. Introductions were over, so what were they supposed to do now?

“I’m sorry if I’m staring,” Will said suddenly, seeming to catch himself in the act again and looking anywhere else. “It’s just...you’re even prettier in person, somehow.”

Nico ducked his head and turned to look out the window, scratching at the back of his neck as he said, “Yeah, well. You’re pretty, too.” When Will didn’t say anything, Nico peeked up to see Will beaming at him, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

“I, um,” Will started, wrapping his hands around his now cold cup of coffee, still smiling as he continued, “I have to be honest with you about something. When I first got that message from you, I got super nervous. That first message that you got from me was actually from my sister, because I was so nervous that my hands were shaking too much to type.”

“Really?” Nico asked. “I made you that nervous? But I’m… just a guy.”

“A really pretty guy,” Will said. “I only get nervous around the pretty ones.”

Nico ducked his head again, this time trying to hide a blush. He mumbled, “I was nervous, too.”

“Yeah?”

Nico nodded. “Actually, uh, one of the messages you got was also from my sister.”

“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” Will asked.

“No, I, uh, I’m not very good at talking to people.” Nico huffed. “Which I’m sure you’ve noticed, by now.”

“I think it’s cute,” Will told him. “You’re a lot different than I expected - good different, of course. I mean, your Instagram is all dark and gloomy, but you don’t seem like that at all. You’re cute, is what I’m trying to say.”

“I’m not cute,” Nico said to the window, but Will just kept smiling at him. Turned out, Will’s smile was contagious, and Nico found himself smiling back in seconds.

While they lived on different sides of the same city and they attended different universities, Will and Nico met up on the weekends to study together. With finals so close, it was difficult to find time to make dates when there was so much work to do, so they decided to kill two birds with one stone by studying in a public library nearly halfway between where the two of them lived. (They tried studying in private - either at Nico’s apartment or in Will’s dorm - but there were too many... distractions in private, and Nico got bored far too easily when all they were doing was reading textbooks.)

Nico still found himself uninterested in his work just as quickly as when he was in his own apartment, but being in public kept him from distractingWill as well - most of the time, at least. Sure, he couldn’t hop into Will’s lap and kiss him until he forgot about whatever he was reading, but he could pull out his phone and start snapping pictures of the pages in Will’s textbook until Will shoved him away.

[just now]

[image: drawing of a skeleton from a medical textbook.]

[ TheGhostKing god i wish that were me #finalsweek]

Will finished taking notes on the chapter he was reading before pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking his notifications. He raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend when he saw the alert of a new post from Nico, and started laughing when he saw what it was.

“Don’t you have a paper to write?” Will asked as he put his phone away again.

“But that’s so boring,” Nico told him. He reached his leg out and ran his foot along Will’s calf as he said, “It’s so much more fun to mess with you.”

Will set his chin on his hand, elbow pressing into the pages of his textbook as he leaned forward. “I’ll tell you what: as soon as finals are over, you can mess with me all you want.”

Nico leaned forward, sliding his laptop to the side so that it was out of his way. “Is that a promise?”

Will held out his other hand: a closed fist with the pinkie sticking out.

“Are you kidding me?” Nico laughed, but linked his pinkie with Will’s.

Will pulled Nico’s hand closer and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “Hurry up and finish your paper, and then we can go get dinner. Sound good?”

When Will finished his last final, he walked outside to see Nico waiting in the driver’s seat of a car sitting at the curb.

“Hey, hot stuff,” Nico called out through the open passenger window when Will walked up. “Need a ride?”

“That depends. Where are you headed?” Will asked, bending over to look through the window.

Nico shot him a grin. “Guess you’ll have to get in and find out.”

Will straightened up and took a step back. “Well, that’s no way to get a guy in your car.”

“Wait! Babe, c’mon, just get in the car,” Nico whined.

Will tugged open the car door and got in, dropping his backpack on the floor by his feet and leaning over to kiss his boyfriend. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Nico said, and settled back down in his seat before starting the car. “How was your test?”

“Fine, I think,” Will answered as he buckled in. “I’m pretty sure I passed, at least.” Nico pulled out onto the road and started driving toward the edge of town - away from either of their homes. “You gonna tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope,” Nico said, popping the p.

“‘Cause, you see, I was under the impression that as soon as finals were over, we would head back to your place,” Will said slowly, one of his hands sneaking over the center console so that his fingers could tease at Nico’s thigh. “Maybe get takeout, get nice and comfortable--”

“No distracting the driver,” Nico said, stopping Will’s hand with his own and lacing their fingers together. “I was thinking that we could go out for dinner before heading back to my place, but we’ve gotta make a stop on the way first.”

“A stop where?”

“You’ll see.”

They left the city, driving for nearly thirty minutes out into the country until Nico pulled over on the side of the road, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. He turned off the car and went to open the door and get out when he noticed that Will wasn’t moving to do the same.

“You know, usually people don’t kill people in the middle of the day. They tend to wait until the middle of the night, just to make sure nobody sees.”

“I didn’t bring you here to kill you, Solace, now get out of the car.” Nico rolled his eyes and flung open the driver’s door before climbing out of the car. Will followed quickly and as soon as he was standing he understood why Nico had brought him there. About a hundred yards off the road was a field of sunflowers, all taller than Will and thick enough that someone could hide inside the patch, completely unseen.

Will beamed and grabbed Nico’s hand, running toward the field and dragging his boyfriend behind him.

“How did you find this place?” Will asked once they’d reached the flowers.

“Hazel told me about it,” Nico replied. “I thought you might get some nice pictures for your Instagram, or something.”

Will wrapped an arm around Nico’s waist and pulled him in for a kiss before they dove into the flowers together.

[12 minutes ago]

[image: a figure in all black stands surrounded by sunflowers. The person is holding another sunflower by the stem, hiding their face.]

[ sunshine.solace i have the best boyfriend in the world]

Nico held the sunflower in one hand and his phone in the other as he reached up to press his lips to Will’s, snapping a picture as he did so. When Will pulled back, he took Nico’s phone to see the picture: the sunflower took up almost half of the screen, concealing their kiss but showing just enough of their faces that Will could see for sure that it was them.

“How do you take such amazing pictures on the first try?” Will asked, resting his forehead against Nico’s.

“Practice,” Nico told him, and saved the picture to a separate folder on his phone.

“You’re not gonna post that one?”

“Does that look like it fits my aesthetic, Solace?”

Nico woke up with his face pressed into Will’s neck and Will’s arms wrapped around him. He felt one of Will’s arms twitch every so often - the arm that he was using as a pillow - which made Nico think that Will was scrolling through Twitter while he waited for Nico to wake up.

Nico shifted his head so that he could bite at the base of Will’s neck, letting him know he was awake.

“Ow!” Will said, and flinched back. “Geez, I think you bruised me.”

“Shut up, I barely touched you,” Nico groaned.

“Yeah, but that’s the same spot where you gave me a hickey last night,” Will reminded him.

Nico hummed and pulled back enough that he could see the hickey fully. “Oh yeah, I guess I did. It’s a good look.”

“Uh huh, sure it is,” Will said, and rolled over onto his back. Nico pulled himself closer again and placed his chin on Will’s chest, staring at Will with a rather familiar look on his face - he had two expressions that were awfully similar that Will sometimes had a hard time keeping straight: the spark in his eyes either meant that he was setting up the perfect picture in his head, or he wanted to have sex right now.

Will thought he might’ve figured out which one of those it was when Nico pushing himself forward and latched his mouth onto Will’s neck once again, sinking his teeth into the skin to make another bruise.

Will tangled a hand in Nico’s hair and tugged in the hope that Nico would let go. “Nico,” Will moaned. “Can’t we at least have breakfast first?”

Nico hummed against Will’s skin and shifted to suck on another portion of skin. He pulled back after a moment, seeming to check over his work before throwing a leg over Will’s waist and sitting back on his hips. Will ran his hands up Nico’s thighs as Nico reached to the side and grabbed his phone, lining up for the perfect picture.

“Woah, hey, are you taking a picture of me?” Will asked, jerking his head up and ruining the shot.

“Yeah, put your head back down,” Nico said. “Tilt your chin up.”

Will settled back down and complied. “Is this for you or for your Instagram?”

“Insta.” When Will turned his head again, Nico said, “Relax, your face isn’t in it.” He was finally able to take the picture he wanted, and rolled off of Will’s lap until they were laying side by side.

Will grabbed Nico’s wrist and pulled him closer until he could see the picture - his shoulder and neck, the line of his jaw at the top of the frame; little red marks blending in with a larger purple bruise, his freckles spotted throughout.

“Oh my god, I’m covered,” Will said. “You can’t post that, it’s so embarrassing!”

“What? No way, it’s such a good picture,” Nico argued. “Nobody’s gonna know it’s you so there’s no reason to be embarrassed.”

“Kayla will, and Austin, and Hazel,” Will said.

“They won’t care. Besides, it’s too good, I’ve gotta do it,” Nico told him, and pulled his phone back to post the image. “If it really bothers you that much, then maybe I can make it up to you somehow.”

Will slipped an arm around Nico’s waist and set his chin on Nico’s shoulder. “I can think of a few ways.”

Nico set his phone off to the side and turned his head to brush the tip of his nose against Will’s. “Oh yeah?”

Will pulled himself closer until he was laying on top of his boyfriend, still nose-to-nose. “Yep. You can’t expect to turn me on like that and not do anything about it.”

Nico wrapped his arms loosely around Will’s shoulders. “I thought you wanted breakfast.”

“Yeah, but you can make me breakfast after.” Nico snorted before laughing outright, and Will blew a raspberry into the side of his neck.

[25 minutes ago]

[image: freckles and bruises across tan skin]

[ TheGhostKing more beautiful than all the cosmos]

Will had moved out of the dorms at the end of the semester and into the tiniest, shittiest apartment Nico had ever seen. It had a bathroom just big enough for a toilet, sink, and shower stall - too small for two people; they’d tried - a bedroom that was mostly just a bed and piles of boxes that Will hadn’t bothered to unpack, and a galley kitchen.

Will insisted that Nico come over for dinner, because Will was certain that he could cook whatever recipe he’d found, and wanted Nico to be the first to try it - he knew his boyfriend couldn’t cook for shit, so Nico was skeptical, but he figured that if he was there, he might as well help as much as Will would let him.

Will seemed to catch on to Nico’s game early on, and sent him away to the bedroom to put on some music. Aside from clothes and other necessities, the only things that Will had unpacked were his record player and a small stack of vinyls. Nico flicked through them for a little while, trying to find something he didn’t completely hate, and finally dropped a record onto the player.

He slipped his phone out of his pocket to take a picture of the player to post on his Instagram before making his way back to the kitchen.

[just now]

[image: an old record player with a simple black vinyl record, the record sleeve propped up behind the player to display the album]

[ TheGhostKing he’s lucky i love him bc his music taste is shit]

As soon as Nico stepped into the kitchen, Will grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a dance as he sang along poorly with the music that was playing. Nico started laughing despite his complaints, but when Will spun him, he saw one of the pots smoking on the stove.

“Will, it’s burning,” Nico told him.

Will brought him in from the spin and dipped him, pressing a kiss to his lips before straightening up again and returning his attention to the dinner.

Nico leaned against his counter, scrolling mindlessly through Twitter, and didn’t see Will check his phone while he was stirring one of the pots. He nearly dropped his phone when he read the caption on Nico’s latest post, and took a second to turn off the burners on the stove before he took a step back.

Nico turned when he realized that Will wasn’t cooking anymore, and frowned at how red Will’s face had become.

“Hey, are you alright?” Nico asked, setting his phone on the counter behind him.

“I was gonna--” Will started, staring down at his feet. “I got this recipe for a nice dinner, and it was gonna be all romantic - well, as romantic as dinner in bed can be, since I don’t have a table or chairs - and then I was gonna tell you, and I wasn’t sure you would say it back, but you actually beat me to it.”

Nico stepped forward and cupped Will’s cheek in his hand. “Babe, what are you talking about?”

Will held out his phone, still with Nico’s latest post on the screen. “You said you love me.”

Nico’s eyes flickered down to the screen before meeting Will’s again. “I did. I do.”

Will smiled. “I love you, too.”

It was easy for Nico to convince Will to move out of his tiny apartment when he suggested that they find a place together, someplace fit for two people that was halfway between the colleges they were attending. They would see each other every day and Will wouldn’t have to spend anymore of his time in the terrible college dorms. It might even give Hazel the push she needed to finally ask Frank to move in with her.

But that wasn’t important. What’s important is that Nico and Will were moving in together. They were in love, and they were going to live together.

All of Will’s things were still packed up, and Nico piled as much of his stuff into his car as he could to take it to their new apartment. Theirapartment.

As soon as all of their belongings had been loaded into the building, Will set up his record player and started playing the same album that Nico had put on when they’d had dinner at Will’s - it still wasn’t Nico’s favorite, but it was growing on him. The living room, though packed full of boxes, was plenty big enough for Will to run in, lift his boyfriend off the ground, and spin them in circles as the music played around them.

Moving was tiring, and even with all the extra adrenaline they both had from the excitement, they ended up passing out not long after dinner. They woke up with the sun - they didn’t have curtains for the windows in their bedroom yet - and found themselves wrapped around each other. Will hadn’t been able to find the box with his pajamas, so he’d fallen asleep in his boxers, but Nico had dug around until he found one of Will’s sweaters - a few sizes too big for him and the brightest shade of yellow he’d ever seen.

[just now]

[image: Nico laying in the middle of the bed wearing Will’s big yellow sweater, mid-laugh, the sunlight shining in through the windows making him glow]

[ sunshine.solace god im so in love]

[9 months later]

[image: Nico on his tiptoes, pulling on Will’s graduation gown and kissing him, holding up Will’s graduation cap to hide part of their faces.]

[ TheGhostKing congrats sunshine]

[2 years later]

[image: a ring box containing two rings, one slightly larger than the other. The larger of the two made of silver, the smaller made of gold.]

[ sunshine.solace ive never been happier in my life]

#solangelo #mine #my writing #will solace #nico di angelo #instafamous!nico

125 notes · View notes

tipsyrosay · 6 years

Text

sun and moon | jjk

pairing: jungkook x female reader

genre: angst (what’s new!!)

word count: 2,501

a/n: this was loosely based on my personal experience, and yeah just wanted to share this piece that means a lot to me:-)

“So what’s it for you, y/n? Seoul National or Yonsei University?”

Before your brain could formulate the perfect answer, a rather awkward chuckle broke the air, shifted the spotlight on the doe eyed boy sitting opposite you. With honey brown tousled hair, you swore you would salivate if you continued ogling it. But it seemed to you, that you were caught in action, as a pair of eyes peeked at you, occasionally meeting yours, as if playing a game of peek-a-boo.

He’s Jungkook, if you were wondering, Namjoon muttered under his breath, smug look in place, as he nudged your shoulder playfully, and all it took was a smack on his head, to shut that mouth of his, you could proudly proclaim. He’s a keeper, I promise you, his name, the only thing that escapes the mouth of all these hormonal driven teenage girls, Namjoon reports to you, hand briefly waving across the crowd as if this was a skit that casted you as the detective and Namjoon as the fellow sidekick, not that you would deny.

Back to those eyes that shy away from yours, every time you find them. There was something—akin to melancholy in them, you noticed. You wanted to ask if he was alright but the fact that you barely knew him, stopped you from doing so. You figured he wasn’t just another cute boy.

The next time you found yourself staring at those eyes was at your school’s ice hockey match. Of all things, you didn’t expect Jungkook to be an ice hockey player, from your university, come to think about it, no wonder they asked which university you were schooling at, because they were arrogant, self centred and everything he wasn’t, and somehow it was a pleasant surprise as you saw his brown mob of hair invade your vision as the players were introduced, his eyes finding yours, a playful mirth in them, before his hand managed a wave at you. The game was rather interesting, it being your first game that you have attended, and definitely not the last, you decided then. After the game ended, the boys quickly pushed you towards Jungkook,rather forcefully and it ended really awkwardly with him sporting a blush, and you all choked up with your not so subtle infatuation with the doe eyed boy. With his arms positioned in front of you, you thought he was going to go in for a hug, and your inner awkward gal was screaming frantically, until you realised he already walked past you, striding towards another. And to your disappointment, it was a rather beautiful girl, you couldn’t place a finger on her name yet, but now that you’ve taken a good look at her, it tallied with whoever he was crooning about for the past several weeks and it registered in your mind. If it ain’t any more possible, you felt your heart drop to your stomach, leaving its chambers open, empty and vulnerable for everyone to see.

Therefore you came up with a plan, to save your already doomed fate, from further falling for Jeon Jungkook, the one appearing in your dreams. You found the saying ‘absence makes the heart fonder’ pretty relatable and disheartening, as you now found yourself staring at his silhouette, when you used to be the one he was facing. You avoided him at all costs, employing Namjoon and sometimes even Taehyung to play your fake boyfriend, hoping it would get to him. But those tactics of yours were childish and useless as it only seemed to hurt you even more, to your dismay.

You were petty, you admitted it, but because you felt cheated, betrayed, lead on. Apparently those playful teasing, accidental glances meant so more to you than to him. Maybe because you wished for something to happen, that you amplified everything that happened. After a whole three months, you decided to give up, on this childish game, that comprised of you, the only player. You found time to hang around with more friends, relishing in the youth that is never everlasting, and cherishing the friendships you’ve forged over the past few years, burying your feelings for that Jeon kid.

The next time you heard of him was when the boys were discussing over their favourite otp that comprised of jungkook and his new girl, which have yet to broken up, which didn’t surprise you, because judging from his appearance, one would think he would be the type to dump girls as and when he pleases, hitting up night clubs on weekdays, but you knew him better than that. That the boy in front of you is nothing like that description, and that was what got you hooked, back in the day.

Now you knew better, than to love with your heart, that it is wiser to love with your mind, because at least you would hurt less, and so that’s what you thought, until you saw the username ‘goldenjeonxx’ pop up in your dms, and once again you reacted faster than your brain could process, as your fingers tapped on the notification, it’s words staring back at you.

goldenjeonxx: hey, you free to talk?

goldenjeonxx: okay that sounded so random but yeah

You seriously considered replying to him, because what if this was just a prank, or another one of those tactics, that he pulled several months back?

popsbopsgops: yo jeon! you alright there buddy?

goldenjeonxx: umm look, i will appreciate if you keep this between us and not tell the boys pls, it will hurt them to know that i’m keeping this from them, but there’s no other way.

The thought of telling them came to mind, if it seemed as serious as he made it out to be. But if he trusted you, then you saw no reason for you to break that.

popsbopsgops: hey hey don’t worry alright, it’s not my story to tell anyway :-)

goldenjeonxx: phew, i always knew i could count on you bro.

The younger you would have shed a tear at that sentence, but you outgrew it already, thankfully. Silently waiting as he continued to type, you brought out your night stash of popcorn, and began devouring it.

goldenjeonxx: typing...typing

goldenjeonxx: hey i’m really sorry that i’m disturbing you at such an ungodly hour, if you don’t want to talk, it’s alright.

popsbopsgops: look jeon, if i say i’m here to listen, i’ll be here. so don’t worry about me. go ahead & spill.

goldenjeonxx: your wish is my command madame y/n, then. it’s about my parents. every night i come home to them, screaming and fighting , today was the polar opposite until they spilled the beans and announced their divorce.

Unknowingly, you exited Instagram and dialed his number right ahead. The night was spent Jungkook vomiting our his sorrows as he sobbed, a side you rarely saw, as you remained silent over the line. It was something you picked over the years, that sometimes what people need is simply a listening ear, and that was what you gave him. This thing—whatever you called it, carried on for another month and it left you thinking on your bed, whether it was appropriate, for him to be spilling his ‘secrets’ to you, his friend. But for all you know, his girlfriend could have already known. But you hated to say it, but from the tone of it, it seemed as if he was suppressing it, and finally reached his limit.

You felt silly for thinking too deeply into the matter, but what exactly was going on in your life anymore? Jungkook is a friend to you, but lately, the lines seemed to have blurred again and it seems to parallel what happened few months ago and you knew that you weren’t ready for another one sided infatuation or whatever it was called, no more.

He sobbed again, and you felt your heartstrings tug, a feeling that has yet to recently show a reappearance.

“So y/n, do enlighten us, when are you ever going to get a boyfriend?” Hoseok peered over at you, eyes masked with curiosity, but the question itself got you choking, on the fried rice you were chewing, causing everyone’s attention to return to you. You decided to be bold and directed your gaze towards Jungkook,

I need someone that understands me, that will believe in me even when I don’t, to love me for who I am.

but he continued eating his meal, eyes focused ahead and for a millisecond, you felt let down again. Not that you had a right to, but seems as if life decided to make you its newest target. “It’s been tough to find the right one, Hoseok.But it’s not like you can relate, right?” The boys went into a frenzy, slapping Hoseok’s shoulder, laughing their heads off, and at that moment you noticed Jungkook staring in your direction, and for the slightest moment, you thought you saw the playful mirth, once again, before the indifference washed over, and he resumed eating, as if it didn’t happen in the first place.

Her name is Yeon Woo, you knew her from school too. The both of you clicked after attending several talks together, coincidentally, and a friendship blossomed from there. She was the peanut to your butter, someone that brought out the hilarious and wild side of you and people always said the both of you were like the dynamic duo. Therefore, it surprised you nonetheless, when Jungkook announced he was dating her, 2 months ago, because you felt left out. That she didn’t let you in on the news before broadcasting it to the rest of the school. However, it didn’t take a toll on your friendship but you respected that maybe she wasn’t comfortable in sharing about her relationships with you, perhaps.

You felt oddly guilty, for some reason. That you were discussing somewhat ‘private’ matters with Jungkook behind her back. But what made you remain steadfast was the fact that you helped him with the intention of helping a friend. If no one mentioned it, one could hardly even notice that these two were even a couple. They were not seen going out together, people even speculated that they already broke up, and the fact that he used to send her home, but no longer does so anymore, says something. Maybe it is your wishful thinking, after all, again.

Nowadays, it’s becoming a regular occurrence in which he confides in you and it reached a point that you broke down in frustration because he really seemed to be in pain, but there was nothing you could do anymore to help, as ultimately it is his own problem to solve. Previously before this whole confiding issue, the two of you could barely be considered as friends but rather as acquaintances who saw each other every week through their mutual friends. But now, it feels as if it had progressed to a friendship after all those nights of ranting and music recommendations. You enjoyed talking to him, you realised, but the reminder of Yeon Woo painfully put in your place, making you keep your distance. And that was what brought Jungkook outside of your theatre class, hands tucked into the pockets of his grey sweatpants, hood covering those brown locks, with the consistent tapping of his foot against the floor. Your musky fragrance underlined with a hint of sandalwood and vanilla caught his attention and in response, he held your gaze, before reaching forward to grab your wrist, making you follow his lead. His grip was somewhat gentle and fragile, as if he was afraid that he would break you. You shrugged away his grip upon reaching the alley next to the cafeteria. If your eyes didn’t fool you, you thought you saw Yoongi walking past, and you were inclined to dodge your head, in embarrassment, for some reason. But what Jungkook said next was the real deal breaker and made you cease in your movements.

“Hey, is everything alright y/n? I mean like you haven’t been online recently, so it made me think if there was something going on, whether you were doing fine,” sensing your stare, he fumbled with his words. “If you’re facing any difficulties or what, I’m here,alright,” he took your hand in his and you froze. You struggled to string your sentences because what were you supposed to say, that you were avoiding him because you felt ashamed of your growing feelings for him, or because his girlfriend was your best friend and it felt so wrong yet right doing this?

“You don’t have to worry, y/n, if that’s what is stopping you. I won’t tell anyone, not even Yeon Woo—“

“She is your sun, someone that energises you and makes you glow, from the inside, sending butterflies to your stomach. Everyone can see her, she doesn’t shy away from the crowd, instead basking in the attention that is shone on her. You need her because she will always be there for you.” It broke your heart to say that aloud but it was the harsh reality and someone just had to say it. But you didn’t know if you were reminding yourself or telling Jungkook.

“Everyone loves her, you do too. I can see it in your eyes, even when you think no one ever notices.” You continued, “You desperately hold onto something, even if hurts you, because even if it makes the other hate you, it’s better than being ignored.” Ignoring the stinging tears that were growing by the minute, you dared yourself to look at the boy in front of you. The one boy that is capable of turning your world upside down with a flick of his tongue. That doe eyed boy, who you allowed back into your heart.

He remains in his position, looking at you with an unreadable expression, as he spoke his mind.“Whereas, I dare say, You’re my moon. Someone that I confide in, at the darkest hours of the night, when everyone else is asleep and my mind is awake from all the thoughts that swim their way around me. Someone that treats me indifferently in the day but showers me with concern, at night , when you think no one else is watching. Although different in shape at times, your heart remains the same, genuine as always.”

You resist the urge to step forward and hug him, because you remember that the both of you were still in school compound and he was not yours to do as you pleased. So, you settled with a pat on his back, as the tears come crashing down, inevitably soaking his hoodie. He doesn’t say anything in response, but you felt the ghost of his palm lingering on your lower back.

“But you can’t have the both of us, not at the same time. The world doesn’t work that way.” You whispered under your breath, loud enough for his ears to pick up.

talk to me!1!/ give me feedback

58 notes · View notes

httpsung · 7 years

Text

floral and fading

pairing: reader x wonpil

genre: fluff, light angst, slice of life,your lie in april au

word count: 4,014

note: a request by anonymous! I hope it’s okay, happy reading!

The stage was set with numerous people sitting still and you were just one of many. Everyone was ready, determined to put on the best musical performance they could for the forbearing crowd, their silent eyes watched, waiting for their ears to be graced with soothing melodies. The conductor was front and center and with a wave of his hand, he signaled the cello players to kick off the masterpiece. Seconds later you began to play, you and the several other violinists on the platform. You were nervous so you closed your eyes and concentrated on the notes in your head. Your playing was beautiful but it wasn’t unique among the others who out-shined you each time you were on stage. It was like you were being drowned out every time you performed, unable to come up for air.

You were sinking in the music you played and even though it seemed as if you couldn’t breathe, it was a lot better than being solo.

You awoke in a cold sweat, panting over another nightmare. This nightmare had been the same as before. You were onstage with your violin in hand, people laughing at you, their menacing faces wide with grins because you messed up your performance and the moment you tried to run away you fell through the stage into an ocean, sinking with no one to pull you up for air.

“Dammit…” You covered your eyes with your hands as you tried to calm yourself down. When your breaths were even again you glanced over at the clock on your nightstand which read 3:30 am. A notification from your phone startled you, it was a message from the only person who would text you so late.

Message from Brian:

Hey, it’s been a while dork. Come hang out with me at the park at noon, I want you to meet someone.

His message was followed by a smiley face.

It was humorous how he mentioned it had been a while though you just saw him the day before yesterday. You stared at the message trying to think of a good reply. You were supposed to be rehearsing for your college’s upcoming orchestra performance, but you also needed a break.

You took a deep breath in and sighed as you responded to him.

Sure thing, see you at noon…

Brian proceeded to send you another message wondering what you were doing up so late and you ignored it, you could tell him about your reoccurring nightmares another time.

You crawled out of bed several hours later and got ready to start your day. When you stepped out into the living room you noticed a note waiting on the coffee table with cash resting underneath it. You knew it was money for the next week or two, your parents were hardly home so they showed their love the best way they knew how. You couldn’t help but think it was your fault why they were consistently on business trips away, ever since you fell from being the prodigy violinists they lost focus on you.

It was fine, it didn’t hurt much anymore. With a sigh leaving your lips you skimmed over the note and pocketed the cash before heading out the front door.

The walk to the park wasn’t long but you took your time, admiring the blooming trees and falling petals until the sound of music in the distance stole your attention from the beautiful floral scenery around you. Someone was playing the piano or rather a keyboard and it blended wonderfully with an acoustic guitar. You followed the melody, stopping when you saw a couple of people staring and that’s when your eyes met his for the first time.

He smiled and closed his eyes suddenly, losing himself in the notes he played. Your eyes shifted from his face to the person next to him and to your surprise it was your best friend Brian.

The two switched the tune to something more upbeat, having the time of their life as they played. You smiled at your friend and the stranger, they were picture perfect sitting under a tree, flower petals falling in front of their features. You smiled but envied them, you couldn’t remember the last time you experienced what they were currently feeling while playing music.

Suddenly the guitar stopped and so did the keyboard and then there was clapping from the small audience that gathered around them.

“Y/n! Hey!” Brian called out to you with a wave of his hand. You approached closer to him and the guy next to him, noticing how the stranger’s features had fallen at the sight of you. Where did his smile go?

“Y/n, this is my bud Wonpil, Wonpil this is my friend for a long time Y/n.” Brian beamed and you smiled and gave Wonpil a nod of your head. He sat there staring at you in silence before he spoke and when he did, you didn’t expect to hear the words that came out of his mouth.

“Y/n…huh? I really dislike you.” Wonpil said with the most serious expression which had both you and Brian staring at him in surprise.

“What do you mean you always talk--” Brian was cut off when Wonpil slapped a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet.

“Um…” You mumbled, trying to sort the words in your head. He didn’t know you so how did he dislike you already?

“I don’t understand… we’ve never met so I don’t get how you could not like me...” You didn’t focus on his eyes as you spoke and your words sounded far from confident.

“Oh, I know who you are… Y/n. You were a top violinist by age 5, you competed in many competitions up until two years ago. You were the greatest violinist in this city, a prodigy who played beautifully until that one winter performance where you messed up and it all came crashing down.”

Wonpil spoke swiftly, sharply, his words targeting your heart. He knew of you very well but that didn’t mean he knew you. You stood silent for a moment while Brian gawked back and forth between the both of you.

“You gave up back then… and that’s why I dislike you. You were like a beautiful flower and now you’ve wilted into the background of that college orchestra...” His words were bitter and his eyes fell to the ground as he said them.

“Wonpil... that was out of line man,” Brian spoke seriously while you stood with nothing to say. You couldn’t say anything because Wonpil, the guy who you met only minutes ago, spoke the truth. You did give up and it’s been haunting you ever since.

“Sorry,” Wonpil mumbled as he lifted his gaze to meet yours, he probably didn’t mean the apology but it was okay.

“It’s fine.” You stood smiling as you wiped the tears from your eyes, what’s crazy is you didn’t know why you started to cry so suddenly.

You returned home and went straight to your bedroom with Wonpil’s words etched in your mind. Turns out Brian wanted to bring the two of you together in hopes that Wonpil who was talented pianist could help you get back to the place you once were. He even thought it was a clever idea for Wonpil to accompany you in an upcoming musical competition telling you it was a step toward performing solo again.

Wonpil shot down the idea and walked away, you didn’t blame him. You weren’t ready for such a thing either.

It was 6 pm when you heard a knock at your front door. It was odd, you rarely got visitors but assumed it was Brian to make sure you were okay after what happened earlier. You opened the door without glancing out the peephole and were surprised to see Wonpil standing there instead of your best friend.

He immediately cleared his throat before speaking.

“I changed my mind. Let’s play together… I’ll be your accompanist for the upcoming spring competition Brian was talking about”

You gawked at him still surprised that he showed up at your doorstep.

“I um… I can’t. I’m not… plus the last day to sign up was today….” You were spilling excuses which made the boy sigh.

Wonpil pushed the door and walked past you, entering your home.

“I figured you’d say that but I already signed us up so there’s no excuse.” He turned around and gave you a bright smile. Your face flushed over two things, his smile and the fact that he entered you in something without your permission.

“What the hell?” You blurted out and he laughed.

“Is that your attempt at being serious? Because your face doesn’t exude seriousness at all.” He chuckled as he approached closer to you.

“Anyways! Nice place you got here.” Wonpil complimented your home as he glanced around.

“You can’t be here Wonpil.” You muttered.

“Why? From what Brian said your parents aren’t here?” He hummed as he walked further into your home. You heard a surprised yell from the male when he entered your living room.

“Wow! You guys own a piano?! It’s Beautiful!” He exclaimed like a five-year-old child. You shut your front door behind you with a sigh.

When you entered the living room you saw him already seated at your mother’s grand piano and before you could protest he began to play, keeping you from saying anything else. You watched the young male’s fingers glide over the ivory keys so eloquently, he was very handsome while he played. The piece he graced your ears with was “Claire de Lune”, your father’s favorite piece.

You leaned against the wall and watched him, falling for the sweet melody, admiring how peaceful he looked playing until he stopped suddenly and held his chest.

“Are you alright?” You shot up from your position on the wall, approaching him carefully.

“I’m fine...” Wonpil got rid of his pained expression quick and smiled brightly.

“Let’s play… Spring Waltz, I think it’s perfect for the season don’t you think?” He said and you nodded your head. You couldn’t believe how easily you agreed, there was still a part of you saying no but the strongest part of you told you right then that you should give it a chance.

Wonpil was out of your league, magnificently talented on the piano and you wondered why you’ve never heard of him since he played so well. The two of you grew up in the same city but your paths had never crossed until now.

“I’m a bit free-spirited when it comes to playing music.” He smiled up at you from the piano settled in your living room one evening. The judges at competitions tend to turn their nose up at me for breaking a song’s typical flow. They prefer if performers stick to the routine but I like to be different.” He stared at the keys underneath his fingertips. Wonpil’s piano playing was different, it was unique and beautiful and you wished you could go against the grain for once when you played too.

“You’re confident...” You blurted out as you tuned the strings of your violin.

“I am.” Wonpil agreed. “I play for me and no one else, I don’t fret too much over mistakes and enjoy myself on stage.” He smiled a smile that you admired. You wish you had his confidence.

“Y/n… you need to have fun while you’re playing, let’s get over that fear of making mistakes. It’s okay you’re only human...” When you looked at him again his eyes were fixated on you, making your heart race.

“I’ll try…” You responded, trying was all you could do.

The two of you practiced together, rehearsing your duet frivolously until the spring competition. Slowly you were starting to feel good about the performance that was until the night before the show when Wonpil suddenly collapsed.

It happened so fast, he was playing the piano just fine but when the music stopped abruptly and you heard a loud thud you turned around swiftly to find him on the floor.

You called for an ambulance and then you called Brian. Wonpil was rushed to the hospital and you and Brian followed. When you were able to see him, he smiled at you apologetically.

“Sorry if I scared you Y/n…I’ll be fine for tomorrow so don’t worry!” Wonpil explained but you couldn’t help but gaze at him solemnly with the words of canceling your performance on the tip of your tongue.

“You better not think of canceling because I’m in here now... I promise I’ll be out tomorrow before the show... good as new.” Wonpil assured you. You had no choice but to take his word for it.

The competition day came and your nerves were on edge from fact that Wonpil still hadn’t shown up. Brian waited with you at the building’s entrance. He held your violin case while you paced back and forth trying to clear your worried head.

Brian watched you with a gloomy look as if he wanted to say something and when you finally stopped your pacing his lips parted to speak.

“Hey Y/n… about Wonpil... I know he hasn’t told you this yet but he has a condi-” Before Brian could finish his sentence Wonpil had snuck up behind him putting him in a headlock.

“Hush now, I’m here! I told you guys I would be.” Your eyes met his sharp ones and he smiled at you as he let Brian go.

“Are you ready?” Wonpil asked and you honestly answered, shaking your head no. You were relieved he was okay and that he was here right in front of you, but him showing up right then didn’t instantly kill your nervousness.

“It’ll be fine.” He said calmly as he approached, taking your hands in his.

“Okay...” You sighed as you let your hands fall from his grasp, taking your violin from Brian.

“Let’s go.” You added as you entered the building before both boys, missing the glare Wonpil shot at Brian who pretended not to see it his friend’s eyes.

There were several violinists along with their accompanists who played before you. You and Wonpil were number ten out of fifteen performances. When you stepped out on stage you could hear the whispers from the audience.

“It’s her, right? That prodigy from two years ago…”

“I heard she was performing with an orchestra but she’s doing duets now?”

“That performance of hers two years ago was really rough I can see why she ran and hid behind other musicians…”

You needed to tune them out before their whispers broke you. You turned to Wonpil who had already been gazing at you, ready for you to give the signal so he could start. His eyes were comforting and with a deep breath in you gave him a nod.

Wonpil started to play the keys and you followed with the release of your breath, your bow gliding smoothly across your violin’s strings. Your playing astounded you, you couldn’t remember the last time you sounded so precise, but there was something you needed to do to thank the boy who played the piano alongside you and that was to switch things up.

You adjusted the melody a little bit which you were sure had the judges staring in awe. You admired Wonpil’s playing so much, how he played so freely and without worry of sticking to the original piece. He inspired you to be different for once.

You ended the song with your violin fading out before Wonpil’s piano, it was a beautiful end and after a few seconds of silence the crowd’s applause roared in the auditorium.

Wonpil shot up from his seat and ran to give you a hug and you hugged him back with a laugh. He took your hand and the two of you bowed. Wonpil held your hand until the two of you made it off stage. You turned to him excitedly, ready to show your gratitude to him but the sight of him holding onto the wall while grabbing his chest had you worrying.

“Wonpil…” You spoke his name and he looked at you, trying to mask the pained expression on his face.

“I’m fine.”

He wasn’t fine. He was emitted into the hospital hours later after you heard the news that your act together excelled and guaranteed you a spot in the next round.

Brian revealed what he wanted to tell you earlier. It was about Wonpil’s health and that he suffered from a rare heart condition that got the better of him at times, leaving him to have episodes like collapsing among other things.

Your heart broke at the news, especially when Wonpil confirmed that it was true when you visited him. Though he was ill he tried his best not to show it. He always smiled and made you promise that you would keep doing the same and not give up on moving to the next level with your music.

“I’ll be there to perform with you again Y/n… I’m making you another promise.” Wonpil held out his pinky finger to you and you linked your pinky with his, giving a nod believing in him that everything would be okay.

He was out of the hospital again within a few days, and back to practicing with you at your place. Wonpil made sure to lift your spirits any moment you had doubt and the more time you spent with him the more your heart felt as if you couldn’t be without him.

It was a week before the next round of the competition when you found out Wonpil was rushed to the hospital and this time wasn’t like the other times he’d been. Wonpil wouldn’t be back to his usual self in a day or two. You found out he needed an emergency surgery that would take place in a day and prevent him from performing with you due to his recovery time.

“I’m scared Y/n…” He told you from his hospital bed, his hands clenching his sheets while the moonlight highlighted his cheeks from the window, cheeks that were streaming with tears. He was usually so strong, hiding his pain showing you that he was okay and to finally hear how he was feeling was crushing you.

“Wonpil…” Your eyes were teary when you spoke his name but you weren’t going to let any of them fall. It was your turn to be strong for him and confident that he would make it out of surgery just fine.

“I’ll look forward to playing with you during round three in the summer.” You grinned as you took his hand and squeezed it tight. Wonpil stared up at you, his watery eyes locking on yours.

“Thank you, Y/n…I look forward to playing with you then.” He said through a sniffle, his lips curling into that smile you had fallen for. He pulled your hand toward him and placed his lips to the back of it.

Performance day came and you were standing on stage alone starting off the first notes to the musical piece you were hoping to steal the show with,

The Sleeping Beauty.

Your mind drifted back to Wonpill and why he wanted to play this Waltz by Tchaikovsky.

“This is cheesy but I consider you a sleeping beauty Y/n…. Well, you’re not sleeping technically, but you are musically... I know how beautifully you can play and so does everyone else so it’s time for you to wake up.”

Your eyes landed on Brian in the crowd who held up his phone and a thumbs up signaling you that Wonpil was listening. His surgery was a success and he was still in the hospital recovering. Wonpil begged Brian to stream your performance since he couldn’t be there to play with you, telling you that just listening to you play would aid him in recovering faster

He was cheesy but that was something you loved.

You closed your eyes and played the song with Wonpil on your mind, imagining him next to you playing his piano. You swayed as you performed, enjoying the melody, smiling all the way as you changed the tempo to your liking. When you finished you opened your eyes to see a stunned audience who gave you a much longer silence than the last time before Brian clapped to kick off their cheering once again.

You bowed feeling great about the performance you put on alone for the first time in two years. You felt accomplished and knew you wouldn’t have been able to do it if it weren’t for Wonpil. You couldn’t wait to visit him at the hospital later, ready to hear any little critiques from him or him whining about how he wishes he was on stage with you.

Your eyes found Brian who was supposed to give you another thumbs up letting you know if Wonpil heard your performance successfully but the look on his face as he held the phone to his ear made your heart collapse in your chest.

You watched him move out of his seat in a panic toward the auditorium exit and you did the same, running off stage as if your life depended on it.

You didn’t know what was happening but you were beginning to feel ill and as if everything around you were falling apart.

You really wanted to see Wonpil now, you needed to hear his voice.

You stopped suddenly when you thought you saw him up ahead, waving with that beautiful smile of his, but the person that looked like him disappeared and then you saw Brian with tears in his eyes clutching his cellphone in his hand.

“It’s Wonpil… he’s…” Brian choked out tears unable to complete his sentence.

He didn’t need to, you were already on your knees, in your dress crying your eyes out into the palm of your hands.

While you were performing Wonpil when into sudden cardiac arrest and didn’t make it. Even though he seemed fine after his surgery there were undetected complications that the doctors missed.

You went home as if your world had ended, it did for a while, and it took a couple of weeks before you felt okay to even touch your violin again.

You sat in your living room and stared at the grand piano that he was once excited to see. You could hear the first song he played, hear his laughter but instead of crying you smiled. Wonpil made you find yourself in music again and you knew you had to continue playing even though it was hard not having him in your life anymore.

Your doorbell rang and you answered it, smiling at Brian who smiled back with a “Hey.”

The last time you saw him was at Wonpil’s funeral and that was okay, he didn’t need to be around, the two of you needed that time to grieve.

“I have something for you...” He said as he handed you a letter.

“It’s from Wonpil’s mom… she said it’s something he wanted to give you.” Brian who had errands to run left the letter for you to read alone. You headed back into your living room and sat at the piano to read it.

Wonpil poured out his heart explaining how he first saw you when the both of you were five and how after watching you perform back then at a competition inspired him to play the piano. These were things about him he didn’t tell you in person but you appreciated learning about them now even though he was gone.

With his last line Wonpil, expressed to you how much he had fallen in love with you and that’s when the tears fell from your eyes, staining the letter in your hands. They weren’t tears of sadness but tears of happiness, you were happy to know he felt the same way about you as you did with him.

You had fallen in love with him too.

#day6writersnet #wonpil #day6 scenarios #wonpil scenario #JESUS this is the longest request I've ever done it was suppose to be 1k and look what happened lol #um forgive my mistakes---

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truerequitedlove · 7 years

Text

Wrap Your Cold Hands Around My Throat

the title is a metaphor sorry if u came for a choking kink fic

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, overthinking, the annoyingly overused cliche of dramatized 2012/early 2013 phan as an angst creator in a non au universe

Word Count: 3.4k (i tried rlly hard to wrap things p nicely but the ending still seems a lil abrupt rip)

In which midnight thoughts might lead to something Phil hasn't quite learned to deal with on his own. (wrap your cold hands around my throat, keep me gasping, keep me broke)

~•~•~

Phil laid in the dark, eyes wide open and tears collecting in them. He'd never been good at falling asleep. His mind always went far too quickly to quiet down enough for sleep. And recently it'd been worse, especially since he didn't have a body next to his.

With another person to sleep beside, maybe even in the arms of, Phil could quiet his thoughts a little. He could focus on their heartbeat, their steady breathing, the feeling of their skin pressed against his. Unfortunately, it had been a while since he'd been able to sleep beside the man he loved.

Dan had been giving Phil a lot of space lately, and Phil hated it. He kept counting the things he'd done wrong, trying to figure out how to right them. But he couldn't fix things. Dan would have to come to terms with everything and learn how to deal with it maturely on his own.

That didn't keep Phil from staying up, mind racing with worries about how this could all possibly get better, worries that it was only ever going to get worse.

Phil couldn't lose Dan. Dan was the one person who he felt completely comfortable around- at least he was. Now, just seeing Dan sent a jolt of anxiety through Phil's system, for fear of a fight, a passive aggressive comment, even a break up.

Phil closed his eyes, trying to swallow down the butterflies that started in his stomach and crawled into his throat. He just wanted things to go back to normal. He missed Dan talking him through his anxiety with his gentle touches and soft voice. He missed feeling completely comfortable in his own home. Now, his relationship was the source of most of his anxiety.

Phil felt a few tears leave his eyes as the anxiety in his stomach bubbled up and intensified. He just wanted it to stop.

Phil took a shaky breath. What would Dan say if he were here? The old Dan, the one who always helped him through the anxiety, and chased away the dark butterflies?

Phil realized he wasn't breathing very well, which meant he might be on the precipice of an attack.

Dan would tell him to breathe. Deep breaths, in through the nose, held for a few seconds, and slowly out through the mouth. Dan would ask him to try and relax his shoulders and jaw.

Dan knew all about how to pull Phil out of an imminent panic attack, having had a bit of practice with it and done a lot of research. Why wasn't he here? Phil wanted him here.

Phil choked on another sob. No, Phil. Pull yourself together. He thought. Breathe. In through the nose, slowly, and hold it. He tried to use the breathing exercise Dan had taught him, sitting up to assure his airway was open to get enough air in his anxious state.

Phil took a few more deep breaths, trying not to think about anything other than breathing.

When he had calmed down a bit, he opened his laptop, setting it beside him on the bed and began playing an episode of Friends. If he listened to it as he attempted to fall asleep, he might not think as much.

Thankfully, it worked, and Phil was asleep within the next hour.

~•~•~

Dan's eyes flickered open. He laid in his bedroom, alone. He was glad Phil had taken his suggestion about getting a flat with separate bedrooms when they'd first moved in together, because Dan was certain Phil wouldn't be able to handle sleeping in the same room as Dan currently.

And Dan was guilty, of course he was. He loved Phil so much, and he could see him hurting. Phil put on a brave face, laughing and joking, trying to act normal with Dan, but Dan knew just how bad this entire situation had made his anxiety.

Dan had been familiar with Phil's anxiety disorder for years. He should be good at this by now. But recently, everything he did and said seemed to make it worse. Dan had to force himself to give Phil the space he needed to calm down, as much as he wished he could make it better, he'd fucked up. Phil got anxious around him now, more than he did anyone else. Dan was meant to be the person he wasn't anxious around. So, Dan had to give Phil his space. At least until Dan had worked through all this crap and was able to be a good boyfriend and hang out with Phil without getting upset, and in turn, making his boyfriend anxious.

Dan missed Phil, of course he did. It wasn't as if they didn't hang out together, but not like they used to. A kiss was rare. Cuddles were merely occasional, and even laughing together wasn't as often as it had always been.

Dan finally dragged himself out of bed, finding Phil sipping coffee in the lounge. "Morning," he murmured, attempting a small smile for his boyfriend.

Phil looked up at Dan. "Oh! Morning," he spoke.

"Sleep okay?" Dan asked conversationally.

Phil's mind momentarily flashed back to almost slipping into an overthinking-induced panic the night before, but he pushed the thought aside. "Yeah," he replied with a smile, "You?"

Dan smiled back. "Yeah me too." Dan didn't mention how much he wished Phil had been in bed beside him.

~•~•~

Night fell again, and Phil left to his own room while Dan continued to scroll through the internet. Phil was so tired- anxiety did that too him- but he was unable to just pass out like he'd hoped.

Instead, he lie awake. His thoughts weren't too bad, and he almost began to drift off when suddenly his mind filled with every bad thought he could think, thoughts seemingly coming from nowhere.

Dan's about to go sleep in his own room because he doesn't love you anymore.

Phil's eyes shot open in the dark as he recognized the thought.

What are you gonna do when he leaves you and moves out and your sorry ass is left all alone to fend for yourself? You really think you can meet someone else with the way your mind works? You can't survive without Dan, you're barely doing it now.

Phil couldn't help but listen to the thoughts, taking them in as facts.

You're fucked up. Dan knows it. That's why he doesn't touch you anymore. Doesn't sleep beside you. He's disgusted by you now. He spent years picking you up when you fell apart, but he's tired of it now. You're ruining his life, his career, he doesn't want this. He doesn't want you.

You're going to be all alone. Alone.

Phil didn't realize he'd sat up and pulled his knees to his chest, or that he'd begun hyperventilating, until he got dizzy from lack of breath. Oh God, he couldn't stop his panic now it was too late. He let out a sob.

He wanted Dan. Dan was the only one who was ever able to make it okay. Every attack he'd suffered before meeting Dan he'd had to figure out how to talk himself down from. On the very rare occasion that the attack was a really bad one, he'd even passed out entirely. His parents had always tried to help, but having them around made him freak out more and it'd get worse.

He wanted Dan. Where was Dan? He couldn't do this alone.

Pathetic. You can't do anything on your own. Dan isn't coming, he doesn't care. Better get used to this, Dan's not going to help you again.

Phil felt so stupid there, panicking over not being able to stop panicking. He wasn't even sure what triggered the episode in the first place, what triggered all the thoughts. but he couldn't stop crying, and he couldn't breathe- fuck, fuck, fuck.

He felt nauseous as well as dizzy, still unable to catch his breath. He almost felt like he was going to throw up.

Dan please, please, I'm sorry, please, I need you, please come make it better, I'm sorry for everything I did just- please, please.

He let out another sob. Realistically, how was Dan going to come to his rescue when he had no idea Phil needed his help?

Even if he knew he wouldn't come.

Phil could hear his heart beating in his ears and he just wanted it to stop. Please, please, make it stop.

Dan was walking to his room when he paused in the hallway to read whatever notification had popped up on his phone. He looked up when he heard what sounded like a choked off sob and froze. For a moment, he was convinced it was his imagination, but as he walked closer to Phil's room, straining his ears, he heard more quiet sobs and gasps for breaths.

Dan's heart dropped into his stomach. Was Phil panicking?! He opened the door quietly, peeking inside, and, sure enough, Phil was curled up, knees to his chest, sobs forcing their way out between gasps for air.

Dan rushed into the room, impulsively, needing to help his boyfriend. Hopefully he wouldn't make things worse.

Dan didn't touch him, not yet sure if this was a touch-averted panic attack or not. He sat on the bed in front of Phil. Phil was shaking and hyperventilating terribly, and shit- this was a bad one. Dan didn't think he was getting hardly any air into his lungs. He had to get Phil's breathing leveled out or he could pass out. He'd never lost consciousness on Dan before, but Dan wasn't ready to start now.

"Phil," Dan spoke urgently, "Phil, I'm right here, can you hear me?"

Phil could hear Dan, though it sounded like he was underwater. Dan was here? Phil gasped in a breath. "D-d-d-" he stuttered, reaching to touch Dan, to assure he wasn't dreaming this up.

Dan took his shaking, outstretched, hand, squeezing it. "Yeah. Yeah, love, I'm right here, sh-sh-shhh. It's okay, it's gonna be okay. Can you give me a number? How bad is this one?" Dan asked, attempting to remain calm, even though his own heart was beating frantically. It'd been a while since he'd talked Phil through one of these and, in his own mild panic, all the information he knew about them almost left his mind.

Phil let go of Dan's hand and held up eight shaking fingers. His breathing was still short, fast, and shallow, and he felt dizzy.

Dan bit his lip, guessing that Phil's anxiety over the past few weeks had built up to this. Remain calm, he reminded himself. "Okay, love. I know you're scared right now, but you have to breathe for me. It's all gonna be okay. I'm here. We've done this before, yeah? We're gonna be okay."

If Phil's mind had been working properly he would've wondered what Dan meant by "we," but he could hardly hear Dan. He just knew that Dan was going to coach him through. Phil was thanking whatever powers that be, because a second ago he thought he was dying, and he still felt like he was dying, but Dan was here.

Dan grabbed both of Phil's shaking hands, squeezing them tightly, trying to ground Phil. "You know how to do this, baby, just try to breath in slowly, hold it for a few seconds and breathe out slowly," Dan spoke, practically begging Phil.

Phil shakily breathed in, but was unable to hold it, just breathing out and hyperventilating again.

They continued on like this for a moment, Phil unable to do as Dan told him and breaking into breathless sobs that left him desperate for air.

"Hey." Dan placed Phil's hand on his own chest, focusing on breathing deeply. "Match my breathing. C'mon." Phil was really having a rough one, and Dan glanced down at his phone, ready to call a hospital if Phil didn't start breathing properly soon. Phil hadn't had anything near an eight in forever.

Phil tried to place his focus on Dan's steady breathing, and do as he was doing, breathing in as slow as he could manage, holding it for a few seconds, and letting it out of barely parted lips. The fog lifted a little and he began to remember how to do this. He took another breath, feeling his lungs actually fill, held it a moment, and breathed out. Finally air was getting to his brain, and the dizziness began to fade a little.

Dan sighed in relief. "That's it. That's it, love. You're gonna be just fine."

Phil took a couple more deep breaths with Dan, as Dan held his hand to Dan's chest.

"D-Dan," He attempted to speak, "'M s-sor-rry." His voice was as shaky as his body still was.

Dan felt tears collect in his eyes as he stared at Phil. "Oh, love, don't be sorry, please don't feel sorry. It's okay. You've done nothing wrong."

Phil wanted to argue, but he was so exhausted. He let out a pitiful sob. He was still shaking quite a lot, but he knew from past experience it was only because of all the adrenaline that had just rushed through him. It would take a while for his body to settle.

"Please don't l-leave me," Phil requested weakly, well aware of how pathetic he sounded. He hoped Dan guessed that, in saying that, Phil didn't just mean tonight.

Dan brought Phil's shaky hand to his lips, before meeting Phil's tear-filled, eyes. "Phil, I could never leave you. I love you," he spoke, as sincere as he could make it. Phil had to believe him. Dan didn't know what he'd do if he didn't.

Phil let out another sob. "I-" he sniffled, "I love you," he replied, falling against Dan, burying his face in Dan's shoulder as he continued to sob, residual fear hanging on.

"Shh, shh, shh," Dan murmured, wrapping his arms around Phil. "Breathe, love, it's all okay now. You're okay."

Phil clung to Dan as he tried again to steady his breathing. He sniffled. "M'so tired, Dan," he whimpered.

Dan rubbed his back before gently pulling away. "I know," he murmured, gently, "C'mon, lay down with me. I'll stay here, is that what you want?"

Phil nodded. "Please," he whimpered.

"Shhh, c'mon, down we go, love." Dan helped Phil down onto his side, pulling the duvet over them both.

Phil shuffled up as close as he could get to Dan, face in Dan's chest, moved down the bed more than Dan so he could feel shorter for once. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's back. Phil was still shaking pretty bad, but he was breathing properly.

"I was scared you wouldn't come. I thought I was going to die," Phil spoke quietly, voice shaking, but sobs calmed, "I mean I know that's stupid, but I felt like I- like I was going to."

Dan squeezed his eyes shut, holding Phil against himself. "I'll always come," he promised, "I'll always come when you need me, and I'll never let anything happen to you." He stroked Phil's back. "I'm sorry you had to feel like that. But you're okay now. I've got you, and you're okay. Just get some sleep, darling," Dan murmured, "I'll be right here."

~•~•~

In the morning, Dan woke up first, understandably. Phil must've been completely worn out after his episode. Dan had had one or two panic attacks in his life, and neither were as bad as Phil's last night, but he knew how exhausting just those were.

Phil was still wrapped in Dan's arms, and Dan's muscles ached from lack of movement all night, but he didn't mind.

Dan and Phil had to talk. Dan had to know what had brought that on. He was certain it was something Dan had done, and he needed to know how to fix it. He couldn't handle being the cause of Phil's anxiety anymore. And causing him a full-blown panic attack was not okay.

Phil sleepily blinked his eyes open, smiling when he felt the arms around him. He looked up to see Dan's face, awake as well. Anxiety made itself quietly known in Phil's stomach. Would Dan be upset that they were sharing a bed?

"Hey, love," Dan murmured softly, brushing the messy hair from Phil's face. "You feeling okay?"

The nerves in Phil's stomach dissipated at the concern in Dan's voice. Right. Last night. Dan had been just like he always was, gentle and calm, talking Phil through it.

"Mhmm," Phil replied, smiling a little. He leaned in, face inching closer to Dan's. Dan met him in the middle, kissing him gently, hand moving through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Phil," Dan breathed when they pulled back, "I'm sorry, I should've been there before you could even work yourself into a panic. It was about me, wasn't it? You were thinking about us?"

Phil looked down. "It's not your fault, Dan. I just- when it's late I let all the bad thoughts come and convince me of all these bad things. I just, I'm messed up, and I don't want you to realize it and leave. I'm weighing you down. You have to pick me up off the ground all the time and you can't even vent about your own issues without me freaking out."

"It is my fault, okay? I know how your brain works, love, and I'm still here. I'll talk you through any anxiety you need me to. I love you, and that means I'm there for you. No matter what. I just got so involved in my own crap I stopped paying enough attention, I thought you needed space. None of this is your fault, and I would never think of leaving. You're the only one I could ever imagine being with," Dan promised.

Phil looked down. "Maybe I should go back to taking medication and getting therapy and stuff..." Phil started, "I don't want your life to revolve around worrying about me, Dan. You're only 21 and you have to take care of me like I'm some kid."

"I really don't mind making sure you're comfortable. And needing a little help is nothing to be ashamed of. When it comes to us, I'm sure you help me the same, if not more. But, if you want to, we can look into medication. That might make this all more manageable. But until then, please just be open with me. Tell me when you're having a bad day, or when something I do makes you anxious. I'll try and be open too, and talk rather than letting my anger get the best of me, okay?" Dan bargained.

Phil smiled. "When'd you get to be so smart?" he asked, pushing Dan's hair aside.

Dan smiled back. "I'd say it's about time."

"Okay then. I love you. You love me. We're gonna communicate more. This will be okay, yeah?" Phil spoke.

"Yeah. This'll be okay."

And it was. For the most part. Dan and Phil were happy, close, comfortable, behind locked doors. In the public eye, they were friends and nothing more, but Phil didn't mind. He wasn't sure he could handle the pressure and anxiety of so many eyes on them, anyways. Phil had a few lesser episodes, but Dan was more observant, usually able to see it coming, and able to talk Phil through it. In return, Phil did his best to listen to Dan's concerns and reassure him when he needed it. They were back on the path to function. And even when they had their little tiffs, Phil was able to tell those anxiety induced thoughts to fuck off by wandering into Dan's arms and admitting his anxiety. No matter how pissed Dan seemed, he always reassured his boyfriend, terrified to see the man he loved panic the way he had before.

Things could only get better from here.

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#phanfiction #anxiety #anxious!phil #panic attacks #2012 phan #angst #hurt/comfort #phanfic #arys writes #dark butterflies

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trecedelabuenasuerte · 7 years

Text

All you have to do is stay

Jungkook x Reader

{Part 2}

“You can’t do this, please. Just stay”

“And what will happen if I do? We’ll live happily ever after? You know that isn’t possible for us. They’ll find us and then what? We run? I’m tired of running. I just don’t want to live like that anymore” “That’s ironic. You hate running, yet that’s exactly what you’re about to do” (Credit: @dialouge-prompts)

You’re in your house, wearing your boyfriend's shirt, which is at least 2 sizes bigger than yours. It's a little cold, so you decide to make yourself a cup of tea.

Jungkook would arrive in a few more hours, soon he would start to promote a new song so, lately it was common to see him only in the evenings.

As you headed for the kitchen, your cellphone began to vibrate. You had at least 7 Twitter notifications. Quite unusual considering the little use that you gave to that social network.

You decided to find out what was happening, but nobody had prepared you to see more than 100 mentions, all related to a photograph of you and Jungkook, hand in hand on the beach.

How had they gotten that picture? It was more than two weeks ago, you visited that beach. How come no one had noticed that they had been following you?

Your heart was beating faster and your breathing had become irregular, filled with rage and frustration. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. You weren’t supposed to feel so vulnerable. So unprotected.

The desire to drink tea watching one of your favorite movies, no longer seemed to be a good idea. You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, you wanted to disappear.

You left your cellphone in the kitchen and headed to the bathroom. Perhaps a shower would fix everything.

You had met Jungkook about a year ago, you didn’t know he was part of a band and you hardly knew about K-pop. You were just on vacation with your sister and the handsome idol was staying at the same hotel.

You and he connected immediately at that time and to this day, you were grateful that your parents paid for your Korean classes. Without it, you couldn’t have talked to Jungkook or gotten his number.

Only four months ago, you had arrived in Korea, you were finally brave enough to take the next step, and live next to him. It was more than obvious that he felt the same way about you, giving him a chance didn’t seem to be so bad back then.

“How naive” you exhaled while you let the water down your face.

Nothing was as you thought it would be. Of course, Jungkook was charming prince, much better than you had imagined. Only, not all charming princes were famous whose managers and fans weren’t very much in agreement with your existence.

In order to be with him, everything had to be more than secret. You couldn’t go on dates like you used to do with your old boyfriends, walking hand in hand was not an option either. In fact, it was much better if everyone didn’t even see you. To the rest of the world, Jungkook was still the most coveted bachelor in Korea.

You didn’t want to scream at full blast that you were dating. You were aware that he was famous and that you should be much more careful about what you did. But this was much worse than you imagined.

Perhaps all this hadn’t been a very good idea after all.

You stopped the water, how much time had passed? You no longer knew if it was the water that flowed from your hair or your tears what was running down your cheeks.

You sighed and wrapped a towel around your body. You took your cellphone, then headed to your room. You sat on the edge of your bed and continued to see what you had left a few minutes ago.

More than 500 mentions.

Who is she? Why does she hold Kookie's hand?

Jeez, somebody should tell her to lose weight

Damn bitch, she'll rip BTS apart

I knew it. This is the end of Jungkook's career

How selfish. This is how he thank us?

Suddenly, your body began to tremble. Was it because of cold? Or maybe...? You no longer knew. You didn’t know anything. What was happening? Why was not there a single positive message?

Fuck you, ____

How did they know your name?

I swear if I find you, I'll kill you

Were they capable?

He’s mine.

You threw your cellphone to the other end of your room, returning to reality. You were naked, trembling, crying and breathing heavily.

You shook your head and you proceeded to get dressed quickly. Once you were done, you threw all your clothes into your bed. All your coats, your pants, your underwear, and even your shoes.

What was happening?

You searched frantically throughout your room. Where had you kept it? It couldn’t be so difficult to find...

“My suitcases!” you sighed in relief, placing them in front of your bed.

Quickly, you began to fold your clothes and put them in the suitcase. You didn’t know why you were doing this. You acted only by instinct. Something inside you, already broken, screamed for this.

Your heart stopped when you heard someone open the door of your apartment. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to give spare keys to your boyfriend.

“Fuck”

“____? I’m home” Jungkook announced.

You closed your eyes and forced yourself to recompose before facing him.

“____?” he asked for a second time.

But before you could help it, he had already opened the door to your room.

“____? Why is your cell phone on the…?” he bent over to pick it up “Oh no! Your screen is…”

Your eyes met with his for a few seconds, then wandered through your room.

“____, what’s all this?”

You wanted to talk, you wanted to scream but all you could do was cry. Jungkook came quickly to you, sitting beside you and gently wiping your tears with his fingers.

"What's the matter, my love? Please, don’t cry anymore, I'm here." His strong arms surrounded your silhouette in a warm embrace.

"They know"

"What?" he asked confused

"Everybody"

Jungkook moved away enough to look at your face without letting you go.

"____, you have to be more specific"

You took your cellphone and opened Twitter one more time. You pointed the photo and more tears began to come out of your eyes.

"Oh..." he murmured

You sighed and let him read some of the mentions and threats that kept coming to your profile.

"Well, we can think of something later"

"Later? Jungkook, have you seen what they said about me? have you forgotten what your managers said? Do I have to remind you that you'll soon return to the stage? Or maybe that you're part of a band?"

"Okay, ____, just trust ..."

"Okay? Okay?! None of this is okay!"

Suddenly you turned away from him, staring at him in astonishment.

"How can you be so calm?" you whispered

"____, please, you need to relax a little. I can make you a cup of tea if you want"

"No," you replied firmly.

Silence reigned in the room for several seconds. You could hear your fast and strong heartbeat. The tears on your face had already dried and Jungkook lay frozen in front of you.

"____, please, we can fight this"

Silence again. Jungkook was determined not to break eye contact with you, completely determined and firm, typical of him. You could see how slowly his gaze became more and more sad, yielding to your silent decision.

"Baby, you know you're everything to me, I love you"

You directed your eyes towards the suitcases, making clear your intention. Why did he try so hard to ignore all the signs?

Finally, Jungkook stopped looking at you and saw all the mess that lay on your bed, the suitcases half-done.

"____, What are you doing?" he muttered slowly, emphasizing each word.

You groaned a little hurt and frustrated. It was so obvious, yet he didn’t want to say it.

"I'm sorry" you whispered

"No, please no"

Slowly you continued to order your clothes, trying not to disturb Jungkook while you did. Maybe this way he would surrender and abandon you, perhaps all his problems would be over and he could continue to realize his dream while you rot in oblivion overcome by all the threats and negative things they said about you.

Things like how little you were to him, how much weight you needed to lose, how foreign and disgusting you were, how careless your hair was, how...

"____, look at me, please"

Ignore him. You must ignore him. You couldn’t continue to ruin his career, enough was already taking his little time almost every night, enough were all the scolding he received each morning for not sleeping in the same place as the rest of the band, enough had already with...

"____!!" he exclaimed taking your hands tightly, forcing you to look at him "You can’t do this, please. Just stay”

“That’s ironic. You hate running, yet that’s exactly what you’re about to do” he murmured in a broken voice.

For the first time Jungkook avoided your gaze and directed it to the ground. You looked around, and you realized that all your things had already been packed. There were no more of your things left in your room. Everything you needed to carry with you isn’t here.

"I'm so sorry, Jungkook," you murmured.

"It's okay, it's my fault"

"No baby, no ..."

"If my life weren’t so public, if it weren’t ... if it weren’t for ..."

"Jungkook, it's not your fault. Stop talking nonsense," you interrupted.

After several eternal seconds, he looked at you again. Those brown eyes that you used to adore were now wet with tears. He approached slowly to your face, but when it was close to your lips, he stopped hesitantly.

You broke the distance and joined his lips with yours. Every time you kissed him, you felt in cloud nine; every time you smelled his perfume your heart was beating like crazy; every time his strong and marked arms hugged you, you felt loved and protected.

How would you live without him?

"Please," he whispered, moving slightly away from your lips, leaning his forehead on yours "Stay with me"

You sighed.

"Jungkook"

He kissed you again, this time with more despair.

"I love you"

"I love you too," you murmured in a broken voice.

"Stay"

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