#sorry for that - I AM excited but ALSO afraid too - not going to lie

[rennerator]

I LOOOOVE Misha SOO SOOO F* MUUUUCH!!!! S2 Oh This Man, HE KNEW what he was doing there!!!!! ;) The WAY that he was going there with the "reveal" of the LUNCHBOXES!!!! XD LOVE LOVE LOVE I LOVE HIM!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!! :D Cause, ALSO, his answer (the way that he was starting it) ties in with how Jensen ALSO told his answer!!! I think it would be GREAT INDEED to have something BIG to celebrate the 20th Anniversary indeed! And THE LUNCHBOXES, OF F* COURSE!!!!! BOTH, INDEED!!!!! I LOVE THEM SO SOO MUCH!!!!! Look at THESE TWO TOGETHER!!! I hope we get more Cockles Panels!!! \o/ Thank YOU SO SOOO MUCH for sharing this with us!!! You are INCREDIBLE!!!! :) <3

the question was how would they like to celebrate the spn twentieth anniversary

[familyvideostevie]

Could I request some Steve hurt/comfort? Maybe a new relationship and she’s having a hard time not being afraid of it blowing up in her face? I’m obsessed with your writing btw I think you’re utterly amazing.

hello! thank you so much, you are so kind! here's what you've asked for, i hope it's alright. <3 you're worried your new relationship with steve is too good to be true, but he sets you right | fluff, 1.1k

-- It's fine until it isn't.

Well, it actually is fine but you convince yourself that there's no way you can be this happy. It seems too good to be true. Not that you're not deserving, not that you don't think you're good enough for Steve. It's more complicated than that.

You just...don't know how it can be going this well. You've never felt this way before. So excited to see him when he picks you up, so eager to be close to him. He does things just because he knows they'll make you happy, isn't afraid to look like an idiot, and makes you laugh.

It's pretty close to perfect. You can see it going the distance. You can see yourself falling in love with Steve pretty quick.

But something in your gut is sour and it spreads to your heart. Something this good, something this lovely can't possibly last.

So what do you do? You try to ruin it.

It's a regular party. Someone Steve knows invited you guys to someone else's house and what else is there to do? So you go. He picks you up a few minutes late and you're so glad to see him that you can't stop smiling but that lump in your gut is louder than usual.

"Sorry," he says when you open the door. "I couldn't find the shirt I wanted." He's wearing a shade of green you've told him more than once that you love. "You look great."

He gives you a quick kiss and opens the car door for you and keeps his hand on your leg the whole way there but you don't talk. He doesn't seem to mind. The party is in full swing when you arrive and he promises you he's not going to drink anything but you're welcome to.

"I'll go get you something," he says. "Beer? Weird cocktail? Something else?"

"Beer is fine," you say. Usually, you'd laugh, and Steve noticed, mouth turning down for just a second before he grins again. You send him away with a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright," he says. "I'll find you."

You wander the room and speak to a few people you recognize but your heart isn't in it. You're antsy and your skin feels too tight and you kind of want to hit something. Above all, you're frustrated with yourself for feeling this way at all.

The crowd is getting thicker so you make your way to the kitchen in hopes of intercepting Steve. As soon as you think it the crowd parts and you see him holding a solo cup and...talking to a girl.

Well, she's talking to him. That lump in your gut grows and you cross your arms like you're cold.

Maybe this is it, you think. Maybe this is where he shows you it was too good to be true all along -- he's going to flirt with this girl. Even though you know he's not that kind of guy.

But he just nods when she flicks her hair over her shoulder, smiles tightly and leaves her behind with a tilt of his head. His eyes sweep the crowd and once he finds you he beams and raises the cup in his hand like a trophy.

You don't know why you do it, you really don't. You turn on your heel and push your way through the crowd to the first door you can find and spill out onto the back porch. No one is out here and you brace yourself on the railing, head resting on your hands.

"What am I doing?" you ask yourself.

"I...was also going to ask that," Steve says. You whirl around and find him in the doorway, your drink in hand. He looks confused and a little hurt. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you say, turning away from him. It tastes like a lie in your mouth.

"Listen, if you aren't feeling well I'll take you home. We can stop at the gas station, I bet they have soup or something --"

"Steve," you say. He stops talking and you hear his steps on the deck and then he's next to you. he puts your cup of beer on the railing and looks at you through his bangs.

"What's wrong?" he asks. "Did I do something? Listen, I'm not the best at uh, intuition, or whatever, but just tell me and I'll promise not to do it again --"

You don't say anything and he cuts himself off. "Babe, you're killing me here," he says, laughing lightly. "Please talk to me."

You can be brave. You owe it to Steve. And maybe...he can set your mind right about this. You sigh and look at him just a little. His face is the picture of concern. "I just...I really like you," you say. He smiles and looks confused.

"I really like you, too," he says. "Kinda why we're seeing each other, isn't it?"

"Yeah," you say, a little exasperated now. "And that's the problem. I like you so much and you make me happy and I love being around you and..."

Steve lightly touches your hand. It's warm and you let him twine your fingers together. "It's all sounding good so far," he says.

"I keep thinking it's going to blow up in my face," you say softly. "I...think I'm looking for ways for it to go wrong."

"Ah," he says. He squeezes your hand and you look at him. His eyes are warm and he's not smiling but he's looking at you with...fondness. "Yeah, okay. I get it," he says.

"Really?"

He nods. "Of course I do. I think I'm gonna fuck this up all the time," he says. "But I just...think about how much I want it to work and I usually get over myself." You scoff. There's no way it's that easy. Steve reads your mind.

"No, seriously," he says. He grabs your other hand. "I know it sounds dumb. But let me be the first to tell you that I like you. And I want you to tell me this stuff, okay?"

You surge forward into his embrace. He laughs and wraps his arms around you. "Okay," you say. Maybe it is that simple. "You're not going to fuck it up, by the way," you say.

"Neither are you," he says. "Got it?""

You pull back and he cups your face. "Got it," you repeat.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Not yet," you say. "Let's go dance." You lean forward to kiss him quick and sweet and he chases your mouth.

"Hell yeah," Steve says against your lips.

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Can you do an undercover hero working for the villain and the villain hears them talking to superhero but make it spicy?

“Could you come over to my office, love?” The hero nearly choked on air as they heard the villain’s voice on the other side of the door, persuasive and gentle. Involuntarily, they clasped their phone a little too harshly as they tried to conceal their superior’s voice.

“What is going on?” They were already aggravated. In their opinion, the mission was clearly taking longer than it needed to but the hero needed time to figure out the important details.

Important details which weren’t interesting enough to the superhero.

“I gotta go. You can keep listening but I can’t talk right now.”

“Hey, what are you—”

The hero didn’t end the call, they just muted their superior and let them sink back into their pocket. They hurried out of the break room, still a little frustrated. Getting criticised for their work was a little infuriating. It had taken a lot of work to get the villain to even talk to them. Trust was something which only grew slowly.

“Are you alright?” the villain asked softly. “You look a little red in the face.”

They sat on their chair, looking at their desktop.

“I— uhm…I am fine.” The hero gave a small smile in the hopes of convincing the villain this lie was true. “What can I help you with?”

Unfortunately, the villain was attractive. Stupidly attractive. Their eyes pierced through the hero and tugged at their heartstrings, taking everything apart with surgical precision. Whenever the hero messed up (on purpose, for reasons of sabotage), the villain defended them in front of the other villains.

They brought them coffee, even though it was the hero’s job as their assistant. It had been going on like this for the last week and truly, the hero didn’t want this to end. Somehow, the hero felt drawn to them, not only because they were good-looking.

But because they were also their nemesis.

Exciting, in a twisted way.

“Come here.” The villain gave them a once-over and the hero obeyed immediately. As soon as they stood in front of them, the villain got up, so much taller with so much more power in their own building, all of it right in front of the hero.

The pressure was crushing the hero. Not only that, but also the villain just being the villain was intimidating.

“Personally, I think relationships which develop at work are…messy.” The hero blushed. What a way to start a conversation.

“How so?” the hero asked, genuinely curious.

“Most of the time, there’s a power imbalance. I want an equal, not a dog following me around,” the villain said. Again, they looked at the hero and wetted their lips, probably not even aware of it.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t follow,” the hero tried but their heart was beating in their chest harder than ever. It almost hurt.

The villain grinned at that, showing off their perfect set of teeth.

“Work is a nasty thing, isn’t it?”

“I enjoy it, actually—” Suddenly, the villain cornered them, trapping them between themselves and the desk. The hero gasped at the close proximity, at the villain’s arms caging them. They leaned in, slowly and some sort of panic entered the hero’s nervous system. However, they weren’t worried about the danger of being caught. This feeling was something else.

“Darling,” the villain purred, “what a smart hero you are…if I had known sooner, I would’ve devoured you a month ago.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” By now, the hero had to grab the villain’s shoulders to keep their balance and prevent crashing onto the desk. Panic wasn’t part of this anymore.

All the hero could think about was the villain’s body against theirs. Meat to meat.

They gasped anew.

“Oh, please. I would’ve recognised that ass everywhere. But you were good…until you messed up last week.” The villain chuckled tenderly and let their hand fall down to the hero’s lower back.

To stabilise them, the hero realised.

“Not a power imbalance when the two most powerful people in the city are having fun…what do you think?” They dragged their finger down the hero’s throat, over their windpipe, down to their chest. The hero grabbed the villain’s wrist.

“Please…”

“Sensitive?” the villain asked and the hero could only nod in embarrassment. The villain’s smirk only grew.

“You’re adorable. You have always been my favourite.” The hero blushed even more than they already did. “But, my love…end that call, will you? What happens next here, isn’t for your superior’s ears.”

And that was the moment the hero wanted to sink into the ground and never appear again. They had totally forgotten that the superhero had heard everything.

[compassionatereminders]

Tw: sexual topics, slightly non-con mention?

So...Im a bit confused...

For context, I have alexithymia and have a very hard time understanding my emotions. Most of the time I can fully understand what Im feeling about a situation only after days after that situation is gone

So...I have a friend who we are in a very weird relationship. Like, she confessed her love to me and I started to date her because I always wanted to be loved (it was my first relationship) and also I was (and still am) in a very big denial of me being aroace so I just wanted to prove myself that I'm "normal" (I know that its horrible and im working on that). But that didn't worked out. She loved me so much it made me really uncomfortable cuz I couldn't say the same back. After less then a week I broked up with her. She was mad, of course, but after a few days we were okay and stayed friends....with benefits. I don't know how that happened to be honest, but we're both very touch starving people and I don't really I divide physical contact into romantic and platonic, so we were both happy with what we had. She could still to things she wanted with me and I could be friends with her knowing that she knows im aromantic

But then it got even more confusing... We were at me place alone and she started to touch me under my shirt. I was okay with that, it felt nice and I just like the feeling of someone's skin touching mine. Then things became more... intimate and she said that she's really afraid of making me uncomfortable, so I said that I kinda was prepared that things will go that way to comfort her (and yes, I knew, she always joked about it and she's a very sexual person, so I knew what can happen when we are alone. I don't think I was waiting for this or something, I just knew it's coming and there's nothing I can do about it). And I guess it was enough for her to get started. So we did it. And I don't know if I liked it. It was my first time and I don't know how I *should* feel, but I mostly feel numb... (A more detailed description of the process is ahead. Sorry if this is unnecessary information, but it is important to me)

She told me not to be shy about my sounds and at first I didn't understand what she was talking about, and then I remembered that I needed to moan. I had to fake my moans because nothing fucking came out of me. When she finished playing with me the first time she asked if she should continue with mockery. I didn't know what to answer because I didn't feel anything. Yes, it was nice, sort of, but nothing more. I didn't feel like continuing, I didn't feel excited, I just wanted it to be over. And I'm not saying I didn't like it, again, it was nice, I know I felt some joy at that moment, but now I don't feel any of that. Just shame. I don't even know if I came (and neither did she)

Since then, she often reminds me of that day, trying to tease me, telling me how bad I will feel when she leaves (Hinting that I would be too excited. I don’t feel anything), throwing sexual jokes and everything like that. I feel disgusting and most often I just keep quiet or joke about it

But here's the problem, I still feel sexual desire. In fact, after that day, my libido seems to have decreased threefold, but I still get aroused sometimes, just... not from her. And not from any living person (usually I like to read about this than to see it and, apparently, feel it myself...) But what if I'm wrong? What if I was just too anxious? I felt good then, I felt so happy when I was thinking back about it (remembering it now, I was thinking about her, and not about what we were doing) Maybe I made it all up and it's worth giving it a second chance?

Another problem is that I can't even talk to her about it. She has a severe fear of hurting me because of personal traumas (including sexual ones) and I know that if I tell her about it, then she will be afraid to even touch me, and I don’t want that. I just don't want to lie to her again the next time she starts joking about it. What if she gets mad again because I "lied to her"? Does that count as lying?? I don't know what to do. Should I feel this way? Is this normal?

In my experience, consenting to sex you don't actually want never ends somewhere good. Even if you say "yes", it isn't going to be a great experience if you wanted to say "no." And even consensual sex can be an unpleasant or even traumatizing experience if you disregard or simply aren't sure of your own boundaries. So I recommend stopping this "relationship" and at the very least saving sex for someone with whom you can actually have an honest and constructive conversation about all of this!

[reds-fluff-extravaganza]

Gangle x artist!reader

Requested over on ao3. I didn’t think I would get any for her and I’m happy I did!

Your digital form is what looks to be a painter, with the beret and everything. This had caught Gangle’s attention when you first arrived to the digital circus, as she also does art, so imagine her surprise and excitement when she found out you are also an artist!

Despite how socially awkward you are, you two of you bonded over your love of art, cartoons and anime, and video games. You two spend time together playing games and watching anime, which you were surprised was even allowed in the digital circus, but you aren’t complaining, as well as drawing together. Over time, you had developed feelings for Gangle, but you didn’t want to tell her and her reject you. However, what you didn’t know was that she had the same feelings for you, but was also afraid to tell you.

One night, after a long gaming session in Gangle’s room, you were now lying on her bed, just talking about whatever came to mind. That is, until you brought up some deep and emotional topics as you were doodling in a sketchbook.

“What would you do if we were to get out of here, Gangle?” You look over at her as you asked this, her tapping her ribbons together in a slightly nervous manner.

“I.. I’m not too sure, really. Sure, it would be nice to.. get out of here, but I would miss everyone.”

“Even Jax?”

“Well… unfortunately yes. I know he’s a jerk a lot of the time, but he has his moments.” You laughed a bit at this, giving her a look of ‘are you sure about that?’

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t think he does, but hey what do I know?” You roll over onto your back, now staring up at the ceiling as you held your sketchbook to your chest. It was silent for a few moments, before you spoke up again,

“Would you… want to leave..?”

“I… I have thought about it, yeah.” Gangle turned to face you now.

“But do you want to leave? What would prevent you from leaving if you had the chance?”

“I’m… n-not too sure what’s brought this on, but… do you really want to know?”

“Yeah, I’m curious. We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.”

“N..No, no, I don’t r..really mind, I was just curious is all.” It was silent for a few moments, as if Gangle was trying to collect her thoughts. You had opened your sketchbook back up and were now sketching little doodles of her as you awaited her response.

“The reason that would keep me from leaving here… would be… you, Y/n.”

“Me..?” You looked up from your sketchbook, making sure you had heard her right.

“Y-Yes, you. Think about it.. we never knew each other until we ended up here, right?”

“Yeah..?”

“E..even if we do somehow manage to even make it out of here… we would all be separated… most likely end up back in the same place we had been before we ended up here.” Gangle looked away from you, as if not wanting to talk about the subject anymore. “And I don’t want to be separated from you, Y/n.”

“I didn’t think about that, I’m sorry..” you mumbled as you set your sketchbook aside and hugged her as best you could.

“I know, it’s okay..”

“No, it’s not okay, I upset you..! That’s not okay..”

“I’ll be okay, Y/n.” You sighed a bit and nodded with a soft “okay” in response, still hugging her. Everything was silent for a few moments until you said, while letting her go from the hug,

“You didn’t really answer my original question. Why me?” Gangle nervously pressed her ribbons together as she mumbled something you could not hear.

“Could you repeat that, I didn’t hear you.”

“I..it’s because I love you, Y/n.” She said just loud enough for you to hear her. You had to take a moment to process her words, before you realized: “wait, say something you dingus, she just confessed her feelings!”

“I love you, too.”

“You… you really do? Y..you’re not just pulling s-some kind of prank on me, are you?”

“No, Gangle, I’m not pranking you. Who do you think I am? Jax?” Gangle giggled a bit at your response.

“I’m.. I’m so happy to hear that, Y/n.” You smiled softly and lie back down with her beside you.

“Me too, Gangle. Funny enough, I was actually uh… doodling you in my sketchbook.”

“W-Wait what? You were?”

“Yeah, do you… want to see them? It’s nothing bad, I promise. I don’t think Caine or the digital circus would appreciate that very much if I did, which I would never do.”

“Sure.” You handed her the sketchbook you had a few minutes ago, and she flipped through the pages, finding several doodles and sketches of you two together, and some of just her.

“These are… v-very cute, Y/n, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You put the sketchbook back on the nightstand once she gave it back to you.

“You up for watching something before bed?”

“I-I don’t mind at all.” You nodded and turned on (fav anime) and the two of you ended up watching for a few hours, talking and just enjoying the show and each other’s company before eventually falling asleep, mumbling a soft “I love you” before you both fell asleep.

[white-collar-cannibal]

i basically typed my live reactions in to the ask box lmfao sorry

THE PART WHERE THEYRE LOOKING AT HIS FACE FOR THE FIRST(?) TIME AND SEEING THEIR DEATH AUUUUUAUAUAUUUUAUAU some of these lines /vpos

niki. niki. what are you doing niki. what are you doing niki

nooo frank :(( "how easily his bones could be yours" holy fucking shit i got chills /vpos

chutzpah!!! yiddish my beloved <3

not them making hetch fucking laugh omfg

"“Hey, don’t get a big head. They only put you on all the marketing because you’re pretty.” i'm gonna kill myself aaaaaaaaaah it's ramping up the lie is being taken-

the bit about breathing hetch's exhaled air oh my fucking god that was so good

UGRH i love the fact that ranboo hates what theyre doing, wishes they didnt, hates that hetch might be attracted to them, but theyre still doing it because of that god damn guilt, it's always the guilt, for what they think theyve done

OH MY GOD THE KISS I FUCKING SCREAMED

that scene was so- beautifully pulled off omfg. like as opposed to an actual romance, where the tension builds, and you're rooting 'kiss kiss kiss,' it was sudden, you could tell they didn't want to, but felt they had to, and the whole way that was written spoke to that and it was fucking amazing

also the fact that theyre embarassed is vvvv interesting... this entire concept makes me feral

ohhhhh my godddd the next bit. author (idk your name?? white collar? lmao sorry) i do not even know how to tell you how incredibly well done that was. ranboo fuckin- thinking about how they would kill hetch, as he kisses them, I CANNOT COHERENTLY EXPRESS HOW GOOD THAT IS YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA

anyway. god damn. ranboo is an amazing actor. i almost feel bad for hetch. almost. (i am afraid for what will happen to them this entire dynamic is so gloriously fucked up i adore it a bit too much)

the other actors are going to find out at some point and it's going to be horrible i just know it

i cannot imagine what can possible happen in the eight-ish remaining chapters but i am sure it will be devastating and incredible and i am going to be here for it

there were other things i was going to say but i forgot them. OH RIGHT just that this fic is my new hyperfixation yippeee kudos to you again for writing it!

—afternoon anon

eeeeeeeeeeee thank you!!!!!!! i can never abandon this fic now you people depend on me. i'm so glad that other people love this fic as much as i do writing it.

and the guilt!!!! you get it it's the guilt forever!!!! guilt is so incredibly tied into how i read glanboo and it's very fun to put them in a Situation where like. king is the guilt helping. is this really the right idea or are you just trying to hurt yourself.

and the kiss scene oh my god that hurt to write i was going "i'm CRINGE i'm CRINGE" the entire time but the violent interstitials were absolutely my favorite bit i loved the realization they could go there it's. chef's kiss i'm so glad other people liked that.

there may??? only be six additional chapters? no one look at me i'm working things out. but nevertheless we are going some Places i am so excited to take y'all to!!!

(as what will be a perpetual aside the seeing your death thing is pulled from p.219 of harrow the ninth, "Ianthe looked at you, and in the paleness of her skin and in the shadows of her lips was her death, and yours.")

[stormyoceans]

How are we feeling about the postponement bestie? I'm honestly quite offended because I don't think they've ever postponed the trailer for any series. And the news arrived in a span of 6 hours. Why even announce the trailer if you're gonna postpone it??

But like on the bright side maybe we'll get the special episode? And I'd take that reality over any other

I AIN'T DOING TOO WELL FRIEND IM NOT GONNA LIE

like on one hand next wednesday is a holiday here in italy so if i had to find one positive thing in this whole mess is that i'll be able to freak out and be as deranged as i want at home without having to worry about my coworkers calling a mental healthy crisis intervention team on me, but at the same time i hate this situation and resent GMMTV so much, not only for how hurtful and unprofessional it's been, but also because now part of me is gonna spend this next week being afraid. like how am i supposed to get excited if there's a tiny voice in my brain going 'what if they postpone it AGAIN?'

i know im probably being overdramatic rn, but i've been told letting out our feelings is good sfjksgfj and i do feel very lucky to have you guys to talk about this and process the whole thing, so thank you for dealing with my sorry ass 💜

BUT YEAH AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TODAY THEY BETTER FUCKING GIVE US THAT SPECIAL EPISODE AS EMOTIONAL COMPENSATION OR IM NARUTO RUNNING TO THE GMMTV BUILDING AND COMMITTING GRAND SCALE LARCENY TO COPE

[arcanephantom]

Hi…

I’m not too sure how to start this or even know what I’m doing. Ha ha, motormouth Conner doesn’t know what to say for once.

Look I try my best to be serious and vulnerable but a lot of the time I mess up and there are even times I say the wrong thing. Sometimes so wrong that it makes you angry and right now I know that’s the last thing I want considering what just happened and what you learned. So instead of being there and possibly getting so worked up with my emotions, possibly ruining everything. I decided to write this letter instead. And try to let you see how I feel about all of this and read my side of things. So here I am locked in the basement writing to you and doing my best to not make an even bigger fool of myself.

Here goes nothing.

I just wanted to let you know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. Starting with not apologizing. I’m not gonna stand there and try to tell you I’m not that scary guy. I am that scary guy and if I were to ever get placed back in that situation, I’d do it all over again. I know it’s a lot to handle and I know it makes you see me differently. But that’s okay, I want you to see him because he’s what’s real. I won’t let you look at me through rose-colored glass anymore and I had to let you know the ugly truth. There is a part of me that feels shame for the things I did, but also a part of me that doesn’t regret it. I want you to know that a majority of the things that I did were for you. You and Braxton and all of the other agents. I did what I did so you never had to see how things really were. I did what I did so that you never had to witness the horrors and shameful relentless things that they did. I did what I did so that you could live a somewhat normal life once it was all over. To keep you safe, and smiling. To keep you alive.

As for what they did to me, of course, I feel shameful. I felt like I deserved it. Maybe I really wasn’t that different from them, and maybe I’m not for what I did, I’m not totally sure. I’ve hurt people, people who once helped me, and I’ve killed people. Even with my bare hands, and I know to read that I’d jump back into that isn’t comforting. But I want you to believe me when I say I only mean that if I were in the CIA and if your life and everyone else that means something to me were in danger. That is the only time. I promise.

I know you’re probably afraid of me after learning what I’ve done and I don’t blame you, but please know that it’s not all who I am and that I needed to do it. I won’t lie to you though, it hurts knowing you’re afraid of me because I tried so hard to make sure that would never happen but there ain’t much I can do about that now. And I still won’t apologize for being that scary guy.

I will, however, apologize for my bad timing. I know I should have been open and honest and told you everything long before I proposed. I’m sorry that I was an idiot and said “all in all I’m still Conner” but you didn’t know who the hell that even was until now. I was just so excited and the moment I got the courage to go out and buy the ring I couldn’t wait to see your face after I asked you to be mine forever. Can you really blame me? I mean not to seem too creepy but I knew that night that eventually I wanted to ask you to marry me. That moment when you took my hand, placed it over your heart and said those incredible things. I knew that one day I had to take that step and come that morning that’s all I could think about. I had tunnel vision and when I had the ring in my pocket I knew I wanted you to have it right then and there. I’m sorry I was too excited that I pushed all of that other shit aside and asked you to marry an idea rather than let you see the real deal. You deserved to know long beforehand.

But none of that means my feelings aren’t true. You have always meant so much to me. Hell, even before I met you, when I looked through your profile I just saw something in you… and I thought you were cute from your file picture. Then when I saw you in person all the better! That’s… actually why I kept looking over to you, I wasn’t “inspecting” you, you dork I thought you were cute. And even after I first talked to you, and you were, let’s say less than fond of me, I still thought you were cute. Sure you were extremely irritating and there were times when I got fed up with your attitude and yelled back. Also, there was a time that Mae had to stop me from throwing an exercise ball to the back of your head during warmups, but still. Uh if it makes you feel better I was in “time out” for a good fifteen minutes after that. And then I accidentally popped the ball while sitting on it.

…Anyway.

What I was trying to say is that I have always loved you Zachariah, even when you thought you were some skittish dork or “baby giraffe” as you put it. I still saw so much in you and I couldn’t be more proud of the man you became. You made the decision all on your own to prove yourself and to exceed expectations, even mine. You are so strong, resilient, skilled, and capable of so many incredible things. And I know you wanna thank me for that, but again, /you/ decided on your own to learn all that you know. I really am so very proud of you and meant all that I’ve said so far. Despite everything that happened and what you’ve learned, not a second passed where I didn’t love you and every day I wake up and get to have someone as wonderful as you in my life makes me fall harder. I’ve never felt happier, calmer, or safer than when I am with you and I wouldn’t even know what to do without you in my life. Nor do I want to ever imagine it.

I know I don’t really say it as much as I’d like to at times. But just know that every act I do is out of love even if it’s as simple as letting you get away with calling me Hercules or listening to your countless movie references that I don’t get that much.

Just know that I am always loving you and am trying to at least show that as often as I can. I also want you to know that I’m so excited to marry you and that’s all I can think about. I’m still over the moon that you’re gonna be Zach McAlister one day.

Lastly, I wanna thank you. Thank you for letting me be how I can be and still tolerate it. Thank you for letting me go after a lifelong dream even though you hate the idea of it. Thank you for seeing me for who I really am and accepting it.

Thank you for telling me that you could never get enough of me instead of saying I’m “too much”.

Now go find your idiot who is hiding in the den with his face buried in a pillow because he’s embarrassed that I actually handed you this letter in the first place.

— Love, Conner

[positivestepshealth]

New Year, New Diet…

It’s nearly January, and that time of year again when you tell yourself ‘New Year, New me’. Did you know the most common New Year’s resolutions are weight loss linked? Did you also know that up to 80% fail?

With all the right intentions, you go ‘all in’ on the latest diet and fitness trend for 4-6 weeks, but just as quickly as it started, it’s all over and you’re back to your old habits, and then say ‘I’ll do a ‘Summer cut actually’, and around we go….

Does that sound familiar? If you really want 2024 to be the year you make lasting changes to your health and fitness, please read on.

How to lose weight fast

Did you know on average 100,000 people search the ‘how to lose weight fast’ plus a whole keep of variations with the same sort of search volume?

How to lose belly fat

‘How to lose belly fat’/ ‘How do you lose stomach fat’ / ‘How to get rid of fat belly’ are other terms searched on Google by 300,000 people per month!

The above sounded a little harsh, I don’t mean to be. However, sometimes we need hard truths – the reason you are failing is because of one keyword I used ‘TREND’. These diet/fitness/health trends are not long-sustainable habits, they are there for the wow factor; the ‘magic answer’ to all your weight loss woes is a new fun and exciting way to get the body of your dreams in no time.

I am sorry to be the one to tell you, but that doesn’t exist. To achieve the body of your dreams and your fitness goals takes work. It’s made up of an accumulation of lots of health habits built over time until they are ingrained into your day-to-day life. I am also sorry to be the one to tell you, it’s nothing new or exciting, in fact, it’s often boring. The same types of exercise, the same types of food, getting good sleep, drinking water etc…

So how about a new challenge for 2024, start the new year by adding the following 5 habits into your day-to-day life. Without fail for 6 weeks, if you can do that start adding more and more until you achieve the lifestyle and health goals you set out for.

If you of course feel like you need that extra guidance we’re here to HELP, but for now, just do these 5 things and then let’s talk some more:

Walking

Get your steps in! I told you it’s boring, but it’s true. Start adding at least 1 walk into your daily routine, that could be a quick 15 minutes at lunchtime or it could be a good hour after dinner. Walk is the best thing you can add to your life, it’s free, and it can be done anywhere and anytime. It’s not only a great form of exercise but I promise you it will do wonders for your mental health too, if you are in a relationship take your spouse at the end of the day and catch up on your day – no phone, just talking – I know, a wild concept, but it works!

Don’t lie to yourself, yes you do have time!

Drink Water

Get that ‘high-quality H20’ down ya! (If you don’t know this reference, I’m afraid we can’t be friends! Unfortunately, I can’t put gifs on our website for fear of copyright, so click HERE instead please) I am actually passionate about hydration, I could be The Water Girl! You won’t see me without a bottle of water, and everyone who’s ever spent time with me will attest to my water bossiness! 

Joking aside, it’s so critical to a healthy body and mind for that matter, so your challenge in the next 6 weeks is to buy one of THESE and drink the whole thing daily. Slow and steady throughout the day.

Water facts

1 – Water & Weight: Adequate water intake may suppress your appetite and boost your metabolism, which contributes to changes on the scale.

2 – Water & Muscles: Water plays a vital function in our muscle gain because it delivers the materials required for constructing protein and glycogen structures, the body’s main sources of energy. So not only does it allow better freedom of movement, but also helps you build muscles good enough for flexing!

3 – Water & Skin: Keeping your body hydrated can reduce wrinkles, yes girl you heard that right! Water keeps your body hydrated and refreshed and helps maintain your skin’s elasticity. In fact, it’s said that people who drink large amounts of water are less likely to suffer from scars and wrinkles, looking generally more youthful!

4 – Water & Mental Health: Some studies have shown that people who regularly drink less water are more likely to develop depression and anxiety. Due to the effects of dehydration on the brain, I’m not a doctor or scientist so I’m linking out to THIS on this one!

Get your 8 hours of sleep

Again I told you this wasn’t going to be exciting, a healthy body and lifestyle isn’t complete without good rest and sleep! You’ll see those social media memes from the fittest-looking people, they are in bed by 9 pm. For years now, me and Luke have been in bed by 9, we get a solid 8 hours plus, and I’m confident it’s had the biggest impact on my mind & body. I’ve written another blog about establishing a good wind-down routine HERE, have a read.

There is actually a lot of evidence to suggest that poor sleep can reduce losing weight. There have been studies which show people with good sleep can lose more than people with poor sleep quality.

So let’s get you tucked up and asleep at a reasonable time for 6 weeks, aiming for 8 hours!

Small and achievable changes to your diet

This will of course depend on your current diet and your goals.

Firstly start using apps like MyFitnessPal which can be incredibly useful for understanding your eating habits and what your calories and macros are looking like currently to understand what needs to be changed.

Secondly establish an eating routine, whereby you eat 3 solid meals daily and regular snacks, so you don’t have spikes in your blood sugar and you don’t end up being RAVENOUS at the end of the day and binge.

Tips for weight control

1- Regular or binge drinking has no place on any healthy diet, yes everything in moderation so 1 beer or a glass of wine with Friday’s dinner is fine! Let’s really get this one in check before anything else, especially after the Christmas period where it may have made a bigger presence.

2 – If weight loss is your goal, let’s start with baby steps. Let’s start with looking at your liquid calories, more often than not people are unknowingly drinking their calories. Not even acknowledging them, they are empty and if you give me the choice of a 500-calorie latte and a filling meal I know what I’m picking.

So maybe your 6-week challenge is to only drink black coffee and water? You’d be shocked by what that alone can do.

3 – Maybe you eat too much fast food, so your challenge can be to each more fresh home-cooked meals with good quality protein and vegetables.

You know your diet, you’re not oblivious. You know where these small positive steps can come in!

Set yourself an achievable exercise plan

Once you’ve done this for 6 weeks let’s add more on!

I hope this has been helpful, as always we are here to support you with your goals. Just get in touch to arrange your FREE consultation! Wishing you all the best in 2024, thanks for reading Francesca 🧡

[coffeishowifunction]

I am aware that people probably dont care but I said I would so here it is you guys!

I went to a disco a bit over a week ago and I am going to walk you through the joys of it. So I think I got home at around 5 and we (the friend I was going with) decided we'd do our own thing food wise. I got dinner and then at around 6 she got to my place, now when I tell you that she can do the most breathtaking things with her makeup so she looked like a godess. We got into our lovely, lovely dresses (I have always been more into jeans but .....I'm also a very vain individual so seeing myself in a dress for the first time in months was exciting I wont lie)

And as controversial as it is I am a clothes, makeup, hair kinda gal so thats the order I worked in. Now my original plan was mascara and lipgloss (Ellie didnt like that) so I was sat down in a chair and she did eyeshadow and bronzer. Dont quote me but i looked pretty when she was done so i dont mind.

As I mentioned I am vainnnnnn! And I have no issue admitting that we (Ellie and I lol) looked gorgeous.

So we kinda just hung around for a bit and took a sinful amount of photos of ourselves lol (as I'm typing this I have noticed that it is 00:03 so happy Halloween everyone) and we left the house at like twenty past eight to arrive at nine.

I wont bore you with the specifics I think we all know discos are loud lol. But I'll just summarise.

Straight away we met four of my best friends who I havent seen in weeks and I had an AMAZING night (lots of dancing lots of singing). To be honest I lost the plot a bit. ALL my friends have videos of me dancing to Miley Cyrus like there wouldnt be a tomorrow lmao. But whats a high achieving eldest daughter going to do except where a crazy short dress and dance till well past midnight. Everyone deserves to let loose you guys even if its once in a blue moon.

NOW I will make myself very clear there was no funny business on my watch. Zero. Again I am too vain for my own good so I will say that....there was some offers "Sorry I'm with friends" they all got the same answer. I will hold your purse and root you on, I will help you fix your lipstick and hair. But no way will anyone do the same for me, nope. Sorry not sorry.

I have been asked if I'm afraid videos might resurface when I run for president. The saddest part is the fact that my answer is yes. Hell yes I am. He was joking but seriously, I dont WANT to be President but sometimes how obsessed I am with all things being right or winning scares me and careers have been ruined.

Anyhow. Just to wrap up we left at i think half twelve I couldnt hear or speak a word. My legs were killing me (dancing queen much) but shoutout to Ellie's mum. She somehow found us a place that was selling pizza and cookies at one in the morning. So I wrapped up the night on Ellies couch with a dozen cookies a Coke Zero and the Beckham documentary.

And it was nice to know that I can step out of my comfort zone if I ever want to lol.

Happy Halloween you guys.! Nightt.

[survivor-trinidad-and-tobago]

Episode 13: "Garfgoyle give me strength 🙏🏽"—Tony

In this round: After Michael begging Tony to flip for several rounds, Tony finally makes the jump; Zee absolutely dominates 24-Hour Tasks; Champ plays a Safety Without Power since she lost her vote due to Masochism anyway; Champ gives the Bank Your Vote advantage she got from eman to Zee, who banks her vote; and Jack is left as the only one in that alliance able to receive OR cast votes, which sends him to Purgatory even with his Grow As You Go idol nullifying two votes

Alex

Michael's a fucking king. Like. Pulling that Chaos Idol out of his back pocket like that? Incredible. Then the teamwork of each of us figuring out a step in making it happen? OBSESSED WITH THOSE TWO!!! Everyone on the other side is blatantly lying to either me or Kaleigh LMAO except for Tony so MAYBE we can get Tony to work with us to take out Champ tomorrow. That's gonna rely pretty heavily on Michael, I know, and it feels like he'd be in kind of a tough spot no matter who comes back from Purgatory if he did flip, but also Tony might see it as an opportunity to make a move in this game since the girls are running the show over there. If not, I'll go to rocks, I don't care lmao and I know Kaleigh feels the same way. Lemme go out on my terms, baby. Not sure about Michael, he's been feeling too rough post wisdom teeth surgery to talk game, but I do feel that he'd be more willing to go to rocks than Jack or Tony. Entering merge, I wouldn't have guessed I would've been working so opposite Eman this game, and it sucks that's how that played out, but it just seemed like we didn't see each other as actual options for moving forward together (even before the Colin vote). I really thought Eman or Tony were gonna win Masochism and save each other, though.

--

Anyways 24 hours tasks is the bane of my existence. I legit was playing it all through the night while still camping and hanging with friends and I still feel like I'm not doing enough so that's super fun. I'm afraid to take a shower in case I miss another post that I'll probably fuck up by misreading a component of the prompt. So we're having a fun time right now. I don't feel like I'm going to win this game and I have no idea how many words this is but I'm hoping that we've reached 50 because I'm not living la vida loca right now.

Kaleigh

this game is honestly driving me crazy. I can’t believe that zee is so far ahead of everyone even though Alex and I both stayed up until like 6 AM and Tony has been really playing his little heart out. This is just crazy I really don’t want Zee to win immunity LMAO I don’t even know why I don’t think we’re going for her but I guess we’ll see. poor michael is still laid up with his jaw swollen from wisdom teeth surgery so it truly is just me and alex LOL god i hope we can get tony to swing to our side. here’s hoping !! pray for us!!

Michael

Seems like the challenge is over already but why not do one. Also my mom kept me from posting in time. This round has been exciting to say the least. At the previous tribal council my alliance and I were able to pull off a successful play of the chaos idol, which only adds to my resume at this point. I fear that this makes me a large target? But I can't let fear keep me from making moves. Classic survivor bby.

Zee

They had us in the first half, I'm not gonna lie. I woke up at seven this morning after going to sleep super late last night because I thought people would sleep and I could catch up. I woke up FORTY POINTS BEHIND. Anyway nobody really went to sleep but I've mostly made that up by now with a solid 20 point lead, I'm just unsure if I can keep that up until the deadline tonight

Champ

Omg sorry I have like 15 minutes to put this in! I’m gonna play my safety without power so I’ll be in final 6! Yay :)

Kaleigh

okay that 24 hour task challenge was hell on earth. and also kinda fun. but would have been more fun if i won. i stayed up till SIX AM TO LOSE. LIKE! okay hats off to zee tho she fought for her life fr. um. so. last night’s tribal. was nuts. a little bit before it started, michael sent me and alex info about this CHAOS IDOL advantage he had purchased (FROM WHERE ? STILL DONT KNOW) and he had to solve a riddle and then unscramble a sentence and say the sentence at tribal to activate it. fucken a. we did it. we did it ALL!! anyway the chaos idol protects whoever has had a vote cast against them, so we voted for each other and evvvvveryone else voted for alex. so we 3 were protected and they had to revote one of them out lmfaooo a couple mins into voting, eman was like put the votes on me, i’ll come back! and they ended up going home, with just two votes on jack. it was an insane move. michael is rly pissing these ppl off LMFAOOO i am obsessed. zee messaged me before tribal yday and was like girl i j wanna let u know they are gunning for u LMFAOOO BABY YOU REALLY THINK I AM A FOOL!!! LIKE WHAT!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO! after tribal she messages me and is like “i convinced them to vote for alex!” HAHAHAHA MY GODDD!!! now she’s trying to convince me that michael is a huge threat blah blah we should vote him out no one would see it coming if i swapped to them lmaoo. god. i was like babes champ doesn’t have a vote why would i swap now. lets go to rocks babes. idc. she also kept trying to convince me that michael is talking to everyone over there and apologizing for flipping and wants to work with them LMFAOOO NOT THE MICHAEL I KNOW!!!!!!!! so she is being wild, jack and champ are both messaging me without talking game, like y’all please give me a break. please. please! god i’m so glad we dont have tribal tonight. i am dog sitting this chihuahua who literally will whine until i TUCK HIM IN. WITH A BLANKET. it’s absolutely insane and adorable. michael thinks we can get tony to flip to us, which like… tony should. absolutely. but will he? i don’t FUCKING know. would it be a bigger move to flip to us to get one of them out, or to trick us into trusting him and get one of us out? either way he’s on the bottom of either alliance and is boned :( like, oopsies. um. idk if we’re gonna toss all our votes on 1 person and hope for no idol or put 2 each on champ and jack and hope they dont have an extra vote or whatever, then revote after the tie and get champ out. still dyin to know who PREVAILED in purgatory today. will i play my steal a vote? my idol? i dont knoooooow. it depends on what they do and who’s back from purgatory. ok. i’m tired.

Michael

Soooo, I think my time is near. I very well may be going home tonight. Zee and Champ are trying to Flip Kaleigh, and I honestly wouldn't blame her for flipping now but Zee and Champ are a dangerous duo. Hopefully Kaleigh stays with us, I absolutely adore playing with Kaleigh. But my spidersense is tingling hardcore. I've had fun!

Tony

That last challenge was hella fun! But goddamn I cannot stay up to save my life. Eman and I had something solid going with our alliance, but with them gone it’s time for me to flip over to the 28+ club. I’m making the flip at tomorrows tribal. Garfgoyle give me strength 🙏🏽. We’re gonna have to be smart about this, but from here on out, it’s gotta be Michael and I to the end 🤙🏽

Alex

It's funny that, like, one of my earliest confessionals in the game was me talking about like 'oooh am I gonna play a villian game???' after the lie about the extra vote being just a Shot in the Dark and now I'm ride or die with Michael and Kaleigh to the point that I am willing to go home tonight in rocks or have Kaleigh play her idol on Michael instead of me. And if that's the case, then the girls are playing are playing better than I thought because they are actually banking on us having an idol and believing they're gonna target Michael this time even though they've targeted me twice. Oh well. We'll see what happens.

Jack

I’ve been super busy but even with my two negated votes with the amulet I still think I will go home lol hopefully me champ and zee r all safe but we’ll see

Tribal Council

Lost Votes: Champ, Zee

Jack: Michael (sry baby ur too iconic at tribal)

Alex: Jack (This wasn’t the plan, but I wasn’t expecting Champ to do that. Sorry, buddy.)

Kayleigh: Jack (SORRY BABES <3 GL)

Michael: Jack (Damn, didn’t want to do this right now but kind of have to. Hope your vacation is fun!)

Tony: Jack (it’s been fun playing with you! You’re always great at breaking up tense moments with humor and it’s much appreciated!)

[swagmother]

Ok ANOTHER multi movie review post, these ones are pretty recent watches, spoilers ahead for uhhhh :

Beau is Afraid: this one was a super great time, feels like it drags a little towards the woods/play part of the film but otherwise loved every second of this. It was sad, anxiety inducing, disturbing but also extremely funny near constantly. I’d say the highlights for me are the entire first 30-40 minutes, and the sex scene towards the end was spectacular. I loved hereditary, thought midsomar was just ok, but if beau is any indication for future ari aster movies, i am excited!!! Would love to watch this again …. One day

Terrifier 2: I had been meaning to watch this one for a while, I thought hallows Eve was forgettable, Terrifier was ok with the gore being pretty cool, and I had heard good things about the sequel. Particularly “someone threw up at the theater” which you don’t hear much these days!! So it was quite unfortunate when I happened to have taken a gram of mushrooms and was outvoted by others when it came to picking the movie but I didn’t want to miss out so…. It was pretty alright? It’s hard to give a 100% accurate assessment because of my state at the time, but this was definitely a step up from the initial Terrifier, and certainly contained the absolute worst and disgusting scenes I have ever watched in my life! I genuinely thought I may maybe possibly throw up or remove myself from the room if it continued, but anyway, I liked what they did with this movie. It was at times quite funny, had a tendency to drag intermittently, very very difficult to watch sometimes but mostly the scalping scene in particular, cool gore effects! I look forward to Terrifier 3 and I would never recommend this movie to anyone

Incantation: ok this one I actually didn’t watch in it’s entirety so take this with a grain of salt as opposed to all my other thoughts which you should take with 500 pounds of salt. Incantation is just an alright movie. I thought they did some pretty cool 4th wall breaking twisty wisties, but unfortunately I am not a fan of found footage horror where some ghost lady is just standing in some corner facing away from the camera and then it’s like AHHHH I’M LUNGING AT YOU EXTREMELY FAST AND LOUDLY AND I LOOK REALLY UGLY if you do like things like that then you’re gonna have a blast….. god speed

Days of Heaven: this one has been on my list for a while ever since I had seen some screen caps from the film which looked absolutely gorgeous. I don’t have too much to say about the movie but I did like it quite a bit. It’s impossible not to be enchanted by the plethora of breathtaking landscape shots taken during golden hour and dusk, I really enjoyed the latter half of the movie and the occasional narration by a 1916 child with a Chicago accent which sounds funny …. But she has many interesting things to say and ways of framing events granted uhhh murder and romance and stuff occurring! Anyway , I think if you like beautiful looking movies, you should watch this…

Eraserhead: eraserhead is about a super charismatic guy with cool hair and many prized possessions on his shelf/dresser who goes to his epic girlfriends parents house to discover they have been blessed with a beautiful baby boy. Cool hair guy loves and cares for this child so much that he has a really long nightmare and then wakes up and becomes the movie title. If you have never seen eraserhead I feel obligated to tell you that most of what I just wrote was a lie, Eraserhead was an ok movie, sometimes I thought there were some very cool things going on, other times I was extremely bored! I plan to watch more David Lunch movies, and I hope to like them more than eraserhead

Spiderman across the spiderverse: sorry to any dorks who may care, but this is not epic masterpiece…. It was pretty great though! I actually have a lot of thoughts about this, many you may have heard already so I’m gonna try and keep this as brief as possible for me. Super super amazing animation, some of the best I’ve ever seen, some very very very minuscule moments where the animation looked REALLY bad though lmao but I guess it could be subjective. Audio mixing was kinda eh, it was funny but not as much as the first. I really liked the spot, disappointing he wasn’t as present in the latter half, and his sudden pivot from basically comic relief to very very serious villain was eh, despite the self aware “villain of the week” jokes. The main conflict with Miguel felt a little forced imo, I do not buy that out of the thousands and thousands of spiderpeople present, that all of them would willingly follow Miguel on this and not at least HALF would immediately jump to Miles side, like that’s genuinely boggling to me! Also, the whole cast of spider people in first movie literally ACKNOWLEDGE Mile’s grief for his uncle and are like “for me it was my uncle ben” etc, so wtf are they now like “uhhh don’t remember that you actually haven’t experienced your important person dying moment!” I have more thoughts on it but i don’t wanna ramble too long, I’ll just say I kinda feel like that whole conflict is a mess that very quickly seems very silly if you think about it for more than 5 seconds. I wish we got some more uhhh Hobbie and he wasn’t so passive with the Miguel conflict…. I liked the twist of sorts at the end andddd that was a lot of criticism but I really liked it, would recommend, and would love to watch it again soon which I can’t say the same about many other movies I watch!

Thus ends movie review…. Next one will only be movies from the 60s-90s……….. yay!!!!!!

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS GRAND EDITION Gentei Tokuten Drama CD ”The Test Wars: Winter Break On the Line!”

Original title: 冬休みをかけたテスト戦争

Source: Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION Gentei Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Hirakawa Daisuke, Takashi Kondou, Takahiro Sakurai, Kimura Ryouhei, Tatsuhisa Suzuki, Kishio Daisuke

Translator’s note: This CD was honestly a little...disappointing? It felt like very little was accomplished in the end and none of the guys really got to shine. Even though it’s about the exams, we don’t get to see (or hear) any of them study at all. I guess it’s because they already did a CD very similar to this one, so I suppose they didn’t want to repeat that. I honestly would have much rather seen a CD about the Sakamaki & Mukami family going skiing together over the winter break. That could be a wild ride. :p

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Ayato: …Oi! Whatcha bein’ so restless for? God, I can’t believe you’re gettin’ all excited over Winter Break. How old are you, five? 

Anyway, as my possession, you’re bein’ quite cheeky, thinkin’ ‘bout how you’ll spend the break and all. You just need to spend time with me, end of the story.

You ask him how he will spend his break. 

Ayato: …Shut up, Chichinashi! That’s none of your business, is it? Why do I have to tell you? It’s already bad enough that I have to go to school period, so no way in hell I’m also adjustin’ to some stupid rules made up by a bunch of humans.

You ask if he would rather not have a winter break at all then.  

Ayato: Haah…? I never said I don’t want a break, did I? Honestly, a break sounds great just ‘bout now. Studyin’ is just a big pain in the ass after all. 

Reiji: Haah…I was wondering what the two of you could be talking about over here, but you’re already discussing your winter break plans? 

Laito: I think you might be getting a bit ahead of yourself there, Ayato-kun. 

Kanato: Agreed. Besides, she is mine, so I’d highly appreciate it if you would stop talking as if she belongs to you. 

Ayato: Haah!? Who are you callin’ yours…!? 

Laito: Nfu~ Kanato-kun’s casually trying to claim her, but Bitch-chan belongs to me, remember? 

Subaru: Haah!? Cut the crap! I can’t believe you’re just lettin’ these guys say all of this stuff…Why don’t you talk back a lil’ too, huh!? 

 You frown. 

Shuu: Pwaah…Nn…Shut up…You guys woke me up. You really are a nuisance. 

Reiji: I believe you are the biggest nuisance of us all for sleeping in such a place. Although right now, I have to give Ayato a reality check first. 

Ayato: Haah!? What do you mean, reality? Honestly, you always talk like you’re the shit.

Reiji: Good grief…Sorry to break it to you Ayato, but I am afraid you simply do not learn. 

Ayato: …What’s your problem, you fuckin’ Four-Eyes!? Dare say that one more time!

Reiji: I do not mind repeating myself as many times as needed if that is what you wish. 

Ayato: Che…!

Reiji: Since you appear to be completely ignorant of your current predicament, allow me to take this opportunity to make it clear to you. While you are free to get excited about the break, please do not forget that there will be exams right before. 

*Poing* 

Ayato: …!? E-Exams...you say!? 

Laito: Aha! Geez, Ayato-kun! Seems like it completely slipped his mind!

Subaru: How do you even forget about that…? You’re a sophomore, aren’t you!? 

Kanato: I’m sure he’s the type of guy who conveniently forgets everything he doesn’t want to remember. 

Ayato: …Fuck off! Get off your high horse already! I only forgot ‘bout those stupid tests because I didn’t deem them worthy to remember!

Kanato: You plan to ignore Father’s orders? I doubt you will get away with that. …Aah, but, I suppose that could be interesting as well. Right, Teddy? 

Ayato: N-No way! I never said, did I!? 

Reiji: Ayato. Your homeroom teacher called me in to talk earlier. Your grades are far too terrible, if you keep this up, you will surely have to repeat the year.

Ayato: Repeat the year…!? Oi, are you bein’ serious!? 

Reiji: Why would I lie about it? For one, you sleep through most of your classes. So how would you expect your grades to be stellar when you never study at home either? 

Ayato: Keh…

Shuu: Tests are just a big pain in the ass. I honestly don’t understand the people who get all serious about them. 

Reiji: Shuu. This warning applies to you as well. After all, who is the guy who already had to repeat his year once because he could not be bothered to do anything? 

Shuu: Oh yeah, I guess that happened. Well, I definitely don’t want a repeat of the North Pole fiasco, so I actually anticipated and did the bare minimum this year. 

Reiji: …

Laito: Reiji. Too much anger is not good for your health. Shuu has always been like this, so why get upset over it now? 

Reiji: …Either way, to ensure that no other member of this family gets held back a year, I shall personally tutor you so Ayato, please bear that in mind. 

Ayato: Haah…!? 

Reiji: By the way, you do not have the right to refuse. If the results of your tests are not up to par, then you will devote your entire winter break to your studies. 

Ayato: Reiji, you bastard…Don’t be decidin’ this for me! …Also Chichinashi, what’s up with that look? Don’t tell me you’re pityin’ me!? 

Laito: Bitch-chan is so kind~ Those bad grades are something he brought upon himself, so no need to pay mind to it. More importantly…How would you like to spend our winter break? How about we both retreat to my room for some ‘naughty fun’...~? 

Subaru: Don’t make me gag! I don’t see how anythin’ good could come from lettin’ you have her during the break. 

Laito: Oh? Would you perhaps like to join in as well, Subaru-kun~? I don’t mind. I guess the three of us can all have a good time together then!

Subaru: Did you listen to one word of what I said!? Fuck…I never alluded to that, did I!? ーー O-Oi! Whatcha touchin’ her for!? 

Laito: …Mm~ Bitch-chan’s hair smells so wonderful. This fair skin of yours as well…Even just looking at it makes me weak in the knees…I guess it’s because your blood is just so sweet and delicious? 

Shuu: Oi, Laito. Can’t you shut up for even one second? It gets even worse when you’re around her so back off. 

Laito: Eeh~? No way. If anything, I want to cuddle even closer to her. Nfu~ I wouldn’t mind having a little sip of her blood eiーー 

Shuu pulls you away from Laito. 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: Enough with the bullshit. …And what is your deal, huh? At least fight back a little more. By reacting like that, you’re basically asking him to suck your blood. 

Laito: Excuse me, Shuu? Could you not pull her away out of nowhere? She seems to be in pain. 

Shuu: …It’s your fault for trying to suck her blood.

Laito: Eh? You’re putting the blame on me!? How cruel!

You frown.

Shuu: You always seem to be having such a good time when I suck your blood, so can’t you let this one slide?

Kanato: Please just let go of her hand already. It’s highly upsetting. …What is the problem with you guys? Are you trying to show off on purpose? 

Shuu: Not really…That’s not my intention. 

Kanato: Honestly…You’re not in the clear either. You always let everyone do with you as they please…Are you testing my patience, perhaps? While I do like submissive dolls, it isn’t exactly enjoyable to witness other men have their way with you right in front of my eyes. You don’t seem to realize that you belong to me. You are my plaything. Therefore, all you need to do is do as I please. If you fail to comprehend that…Perhaps I should just make it so you cannot move at all? 

Subaru: …Ugh. 

*THUD*

Subaru: Cut the crap! …Oi, you! Come here already!

Subaru pulls you his way. 

*Rustle* 

Kanato: …!? What do you think you’re doing, Subaru!?

You thank him.  

Subaru: Ah? …No need to thank me. Honestly, these guys just keep on spoutin’ bullcrap…It pisses me off!

*THUD* 

Reiji: Please leave it at that! We have gotten quite a bit off-topic…but the matter we need to discuss right now is Ayato’s grades problem. 

Ayato: Who cares ‘bout that crap!? 

Reiji: Stop being so stubborn, Ayato. If you fail these upcoming exams as well, you will no longer get any pocket money!

Ayato: …Hah!? Fuck that!

Laito: Ayato-kun, I think you might regret going against what Reiji says~ Or else it won’t just be during the winter break, but you might never get any money again.

Subaru: Heh! Serves you right!

Ayato: That’s fuckin’ dirty, Reiji!

Reiji: Call it whatever you please. Besides, as a noble Vampire, you should be ashamed of yourself for getting worse grades than mere humans! 

Ayato: Fuck…Guess I have no other choice. Just this one time, ‘kay!? Still, you really think I’m gonna study all by myself? Chichinashi and all of these fuckers will suffer with me as well!

Subaru: Haah!? Why do we have to keep you company!? 

Kanato: Exactly. You’re the one who’s at risk of having to repeat his year, correct? This doesn’t apply to us!

Shuu: I’m definitely not tagging along.

Laito: Hm~ Personally, I wouldn’t mind joining in if Bitch-chan is there as well~

Reiji: How ridiculous…Are you perhaps hoping that I will be more lenient with more people around? I believe it is time to you stop struggling in vain and just honestーー 

Kou: M-neko-chan~!

Reiji: You guys…

Kou: Hey, hey! It’s almost winter break, right? The four of us are planning a ski trip so why don’t you join us? 

Ayato: Aah!? Are you out of your fuckin’ mind!? She’ll be hangin’ with me during the break!

Kou: Eh!? You don’t have any time to play, do you? Don’t you have to study? I’m pretty sure that you’ll be stuck studying the whole break if you get bad grades on the upcoming exams so you won’t be able to hang out, will you? 

Ayato: Kuh…

Reiji: Eavesdropping, I see. What a nice hobby you have there.

Laito: Hm~ The whole Mukami family is here, it seems. 

Kou: Man, you really must have it rough having to keep up with the selfish whims of the Sakamaki family. …Hey, don’t you think so too, Subaru-kun? 

Subaru: Shut up!! I mean, I’m part of that family too, aren’t I!? I bet you’re askin’ me on purpose!

Kou: Geez, how cold. If you keep on making that scary face, you won’t get any love from M-neko-chan~

Subaru: …!! You bastard…!!

Yuma: Oi, Sow. Yer grades aren’t half bad, are they? Then why don’t you join us before Ayato gets ya involved in his mess? 

Azusa: Hey, Eve…Let’s hang out together…I’m sure skiing will be fun…Ah, but I guess it might not be with me around…Although in my case, I enjoy any time as long as we spend it together…

You assure Azusa that you enjoy his company too. 

Azusa: Ah…I’m happy…You really are so kind…

Kanato: Kuh…Why are you guys here? 

Azusa: Why…? We just so happened to pass by…That’s all…

Kanato: Please don’t tell such blatant lies! I bet you secretly followed us, didn’t you!? That’s so creepy, it’s making me gag!

Yuma: Oi…! Stop throwin’ a hissy fit over every fuckin’ lil’ thing! 

Kanato: How about I sew that loud mouth of yours closed instead!? 

Yuma: Aah!? The fuck did ya just say!? Ya wanna throw fists, mate!? 

Ruki: Cut it out. What’s the point in lowering yourself to their level? There is no need for us to give those guys any attention, is there? 

Ayato: Ahー God! Shut up already, all of you! We stay quiet for two seconds and you instantly assume you can just run your damn mouths! All I need to do is pass my exams, right!? 

Ruki: I honestly cannot imagine that happening to the guy whose grades have been rock bottom the whole semester. 

Ayato: Kuh…Oi, Ruki! Don’t think you’re the shit just ‘cause you’ve got good grades! I can pass those exams with ease as long as I put in just a little effort. 

Kou: A little, you say? That’s an interesting claim, Ayato-kun. Ruki-kun is pretty smart, you see? 

Ayato: Shut up! Keep that mouth of yours shut!

Ruki: Then, how about our families having a competition to see who can get the best average score? The winning family earns the right to keep her all to themselves over winter break. 

Ayato: Heh, interesting. You’re on!

Subaru: Don’t be decidin’ that on your own! I’m not doin’ this shit!

Yuma: Hah! Is Mr. Hikikomori scared of losin’, huh? 

Subaru: You bastard…Are you pickin’ a fight with me? 

Azusa: …Can we win? …Right. We might be able to…if Eve cheers us on. 

Kanato: Please do not voice your ridiculous fantasies out loud. It’s unsettling. 

Shuu: I don’t want to deal with any trouble. 

Laito: I like the idea of all of us fighting over Bitch-chan like that! It kind of sounds like the plot of some cheap romantic drama, it’s giving me the shivers! 

Reiji: Good grief…Things have become quite bothersome because of you. However, we cannot back down now. Very well. We accept this challenge!

Ruki: It’s settled then. I hope you will not have any regrets, whatever the outcome may be.

*TIMESKIP*

*Thud* 

Ayato: So this is where you’ve been Chichinashi! Don’t make me look for you!

Reiji: One would almost assume that you are avoiding us on purpose. Do you understand that you are not entitled to do so, I wonder? 

You try to explain yourself.

Reiji: You do not wish to get in the way of our studies? How imprudent of you. Seeing as you are part of the reason why this challenge was set up in the first place, do you not believe it would only be logical to help us out? If you fail to realize your own position, then I believe I will have to make things extra painful for you today. Please brace yourself. 

Laito: You heard him, Bitch-chan~ Reiji can be quite scary, can’t he? Personally, I would ensure that you experience the ultimate pleasure alongside the pain, so what do you think? 

Reiji: There is nothing to think about. She does not have the right to choose after all. You will come to my room once we’ve returned home, do you understand?

Laito: Eeh~? Then once you’re done with her, can it be my turn next? I’ll show you a world・of・fun~

Subaru: God…I thought we were goin’ to study? 

*Thud* 

Kou: Ah! M-neko-chan, found you~! Come and study with us~

Ayato: Aah!? Chichinashi’s goin’ to help me with my studies! Fuck off!

Yuma: Haah!? I bet you’re the one who decided that on your own!

Ruki walks up to you. 

Ruki: I doubt you have the time to look after other people right now, do you? You should worry about your own grades first. Come here. I’ll help you study.  

Your eyes widen in surprise.

Ruki: Don’t look so dumbfounded. Are you really that surprised by my offer to help you out? While I hate unintelligent women, I believe you have potential. 

Azusa: Lucky you…Ruki is a great tutor, you see…

Ruki: Come here already. 

You join Ruki. 

Ruki: Do you have any questions regarding the test material? 

You point something out. 

Ruki: I see. Well, you’re supposed to use this formula and…

Kou: Ah-aah~ Ruki-kun snatched her away. Look at how they’re basically huddled together. I want to cuddle up to her as well. I tried so hard to finish all of my work in time too, it’s no fair Ruki-kun gets to have all the fun…

Ruki: Kou. If you are going to talk badly about someone, at least lower your voice. How is she supposed to concentrate? 

Kou: But I mean…When do we ever get the chance to study together like this~? So even if it’s only for a short period of time, I want to spend every second of it together. You feel the same way, don’t you? 

Ruki: Come on. How long are you going to stay distracted? Stay focused. …Your cheeks are flushed. Your breathing is somewhat ragged as well. Heh. Seems like you’ve got some other things besides studying on your mind. 

Kou: Heeh~? Are you perhaps hoping to get sandwiches in between Ruki-kun and I as we both suck your blood simultaneously~? 

Ruki: It would be rather absurd if that were truly the case. While it still makes sense for us to crave your blood, for you to seek out our fangs as well…What a greedy Livestock you are. 

Kou: Ahahaha~ For real! You actually have some nerve. If my fans find out about this, they might just kill you, you know~? 

Yuma: Hey, how much longer? It’s our turn now, isn’t it? …Heave-hoh.

*Thud* 

Kou: Ah…Hey! Yuma-kun! I can’t believe you lifted her up with the chair and all…You’re such a brute.

*Rustle* 

Yuma: …There. Oi, help Azusa and I study as well. …Hah? What are you sayin’? Why bother askin’ Ruki for permission if you’re fine with it? Come on, teach us already. 

You start explaining. 

Yuma: …Oh. Hmー Hm. …Heh!? …You’re pretty good at this! I think ya could totally become a great teacher!

Azusa: But for now…She’s our own personal teacher…

Yuma: Heh. A private lesson with a female teacher, huh? Sounds pretty good. 

Azusa: In that case…I’d love to learn more about you…instead of the subject matter…Although, I suppose that’d make you feel troubled, wouldn’t it? I’m sorry for saying something inappropriate…

Shuu: If you know that you’re being inappropriate, then you won’t complain if we take her back, correct? Let’s go. 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: Why are you so easily won over by others? The triplets are throwing a tantrum because you were taken away. If you want to pretend to be a teacher that badly, then go ahead and do so close to me.

Azusa: …They left. 

Yuma: Che…That guy pisses me off with everythin’ he does!

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Ahー This shit makes zero sense! I find the motivation to keep goin’!

Reiji: I am teaching you in a way that even an idiot should be able to pass the exam. If you have a somewhat-functioning brain, at least try your best to remember this. 

You return with Shuu.

Laito: …Ah, Bitch-chan~! We’ve been waiting for you! Those Mukami’s didn’t pick on you too much, did they?

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! Teach me this part. Havin’ Reiji teach me is an absolute nightmare. 

Kanato: Excuse me? She will obviously teach me first. We already know that you will fail the exam, Ayato, so it’d just be a wasted effort. 

Laito: I’d love to have you thoroughly teach me as well~ …Okay, Bitch-chan? 

Reiji: Good grief, you lot…You want her to teach you that badly? Right. I suppose if I teach her first, then it will naturally reach you guys as well. 

Ayato: Ah? The fuck are you sayin’? 

Reiji: This is in your best interest as well, so I will not take no as an answer. In that case, I am counting on your full cooperation. 

Laito: Eeh~? We’re going to study? 

Subaru: Haah…I’m headin’ home first. 

Reiji: Hold up, Subaru. I shall not allow you to leave. 

Reiji stops him. 

Subaru: Oi, let go of me. Ayato’s the only problematic one here, right? 

Reiji: Excuse me? This concerns our whole family. Even if it is just Ayato who fails the exam, all of you will have your monthly allowance cut. 

Subaru: Aah!? Fuck off!

Kanato: Why do I have to face the consequences of Ayato being an absolute idiot!? 

Shuu: Haah…Ridiculous. 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: …!

Subaru: Oi, Shuu! Don’t you dare try and sneak out by yourself!

Reiji: Well then, let us get started. If Ayato gets a failing score, then I shall give all of you a taste of Hell. So keep that in mind. 

*Whip* 

*TIMESKIP*

*Flip* 

Ruki: The results are in but…

Reiji: As much as I hate to say this, it appears that our challenge has ended in a draw. 

Ayato: Hehe! How’s that? Pretty amazing, huh? I skillfully dodged failin’ my exams!

Kanato: Oh please, don’t brag about that. 

Laito: Oh well, all’s well that ends well, I suppose?

Azusa: Since we both got the same score…Does that mean Eve will have to hang out with us…as well as with the Sakamaki’s…? 

Yuma: So we can’t have her all to ourselves durin’ winter break? 

Subaru: Hah! Serves you right! Told you we wouldn’t let you fuckers have her!

Yuma: Shut up! Ya guys can’t keep her all to yerselves either!

Shuu: Oh well, I suppose we’ll have no other choice but to accept these results. 

You suggest you all hang out together. 

Shuu: …Hah? 

Reiji: …All of us together, you say? You mean both of our families…? 

Ayato: No fuckin’ way! I don’t want to spend time with them!

Subaru: Che…Ridiculous. I’m not gonna pretend to be pals with these bastards. 

Kanato: It’s unpleasant but I suppose we have no other choice. Those who have a problem with it can simply spend the break by themselves. 

Ayato & Subaru: Fuck off!

Subaru: Who says I have a problem with it!? 

Ayato: I never said I’d spend the break alone, did I!? 

Laito: You won’t gain anything from that kind of attitude. Just try and make the best of it~

Kou: Yeah, exactly~! Let’s all have a blast together! Right, M-neko-chan? 

Azusa: Mmh…I’m also looking forward…to spending winter break together, Eve…Say, what should we do…aside from skiing? 

Yuma: There’s still some time until the end-of-term ceremony, so we’ve got plenty of time to brainstorm. 

Ruki: Right. Why don’t you come over to our place so we can set up a plan? 

Kou: Nice idea, Ruki-kun!

Azusa: Well then, with that settled…Let’s not waste any more time. Eve…Let’s go. 

Subaru: Hold up! Don’t be tryin’ to abuse the situation to take her away! Didn’t you agree to spending the break all together just earlier!? 

Yuma: Hah! Says the guy who didn’t seem to like the sound of that at all!

Azusa: Mmh…Yuma’s right. 

Subaru: Shut up!! Besides, why do you guys get to decide everythin’!? 

Ruki: The more people, the more difficult it becomes to come to an agreement. Rest assured, once we’ve settled on a plan, we shall inform you guys as well. I cannot deny that the challenge ended in a draw after all. However, winter break has not yet started. 

Kanato: Exactly. Do you really think that twisted logic of yours will fly? 

Yuma: What do ya mean, twisted logic!? He’s makin’ perfect sense!

Azusa: Exactly…I don’t believe Ruki is wrong…

Kanato: Are you an idiot, Azusa!? I’m trying to say that I can’t give you guys permission to take her to your house. 

Subaru: No way we can trust some kind of shady plan you fuckers came up with. …Come on, you too! You don’t need to feel obligated to go with those guys. For today, just come back home with us, ‘kay? 

Ruki: Do not make a fuss simply because things have not gone your way. It is painful to watch. 

Subaru: Kuh…Ruki…You bastard! Meet me outside so we can fight it out!

Ayato: Cut it out, you shitheads! It was always the plan for her to spend the winter break with me!

The Sakamaki’s and Mukami’s start arguing in the back. 

Reiji: Well, I do find it frustrating that we were not able to put those Mukami’s in their place, I suppose I can hardly complain seeing as Ayato did manage to pass his exams. …That being said, I am already getting a headache just from knowing that I will be the one having to constantly stop them from arguing. Good grief…Haah…

ーー THE END ーー

[readerhead]

All along

summary: he was the worst that had happened to you, right? (part 2 of "the fella over there", but you can read it independently)

pairing: Matt Murdock × fem!reader

warnings: drinking but none really I think

word count: 3.4k

a/n: first of all thank you so much for love you gave my first fic! I'm really excited, it has almost 100 notes and it feels surreal. I really enjoyed making it and I hope y'all liked it at least as much as you liked the first part. Not gonna lie, I'm a little afraid of ruining it by making a second part, but hey! I'm posting it anyways. This took me longer than expected but here I am. Also, sorry if there's any legal inaccuracy, I'm more of science girl :)

----------------------------------

"Karen, please, entertain Matt. I need to make a call." she nodded and got up straight to Matt's office. They were working on a case and Foggy knew that Matt wouldn't like that he was calling you for help. He hated feeling like he was betraying his best friend but they really need you so he searched for you in his contacts. 

"Hey Foggy Bear, how's it going?" you loved to call him by the nickname Marci gave him when they were together. It wasn't that funny but his reaction would always be hilarious. 

"Ugh. You know I hate it." 

"That's the main point of doing it." you laughed. "Uh, you aren't complaining, what do you need my help for this time?" 

"What? No-" his high-pitched voice gave him away. "Shit, alright... I might need your advice in a legal case" 

"Uuuh. Now that's interesting. What's about?" you were intrigued. 

"Some health insurance issue" 

"Sounds fun. Fuck-" you had to go back to your work, a mouse just escaped from its cage. "See you at six at your office, I'll bring dinner." Foggy was going to warn you that Matt would be there too, but you hang up. 

You trapped that slippery mouse successfully, maybe if you ask the now broken flask that was in your way it wouldn't use that word but it was an object, it doesn't have an opinion. You finished your work and went to the Thai place you loved. You ordered more than enough food because you thought that maybe the new secretary they had hired not so long ago would be there. You took the food and began your way to your best friend's office. In the meantime, Foggy tried to convince Matt to leave the office but he was being so suspicious about it that Matt stayed out of curiosity. They were arguing about it when they heard a knock on the door and in that moment he recognized your heartbeat. 

"Damn, Foggy. Her? You know she doesn't stand me." Matt sighed and closed his eyes while rubbing his forehead. 

"You don't make it easier for her, you're always bothering her." Foggy tried to reason. 

"Yeah, because every single time I tried to be nice to her, she didn't care and made the most bitter comment. So now at I least have some fun about it." 

"You know it wasn't always like that" and just before Matt could say anything Karen opened the door. 

"Hi! You must be Karen." she knew you were coming, Foggy told her about you. "Foggy told me a lot about you. He was right when he said you were pretty." you smiled at her and she returned it with a light blush in her cheeks. 

"Yes, that would be me. I suppose you are the famous college friend who taught him how to comb his hair." you laugh at the memory of Foggy's appearance when you met. 

"We had almost the same length of hair back then." in that moment he stepped out of Matt's office. 

"Stop mocking about my old look, we have serious work to do." you couldn't help it. You ran towards him and hugged him, he was almost like a brother to you despite being your best friend's ex. When you finished, you smacked his shoulder. He was beyond confused but not surprised. 

"You don't have any type of shame. You only call me to meet when you need my help. You'll have to invite me to that horrible eel liquor so I can forgive you." 

"What about you help us and then we go to Josie's?" 

"Dea-" just when you were about to settle the agreement Matt entered the room. "Shit." you spat that word almost inaudible. "Foggy didn't we talk about this?" you whispered to him. 

"About what?" Matt asked. 

"That every time we met in the office you wouldn't be here." Foggy just couldn't lie to Matt, could he? 

"Oh, so her being here is normal?" he sounded more in disbelief than offended. Karen was watching curiously the uncomfortable scene develop. 

"Relax, Murdock. I only spat in your mug twice, the other times Foggy was watching." 

"I was talking to him." he hissed. 

"Sometimes?" Foggy tried. "I don't know. She is my friend and I want her to see our accomplishments, like having our own office." 

"Enough of the chit-chat. It's his office too, of course if I came it was a matter of time that I came across him. I just hoped it lasted longer." you were well aware that they were not only best friends but also associates, you knew this was coming sooner than later. "So Foggy, show me the files, we have work to do. He can join if he is able to be in the same room as me, it's his case too after all." you entered the conference room before letting Matt a chance to talk and Karen followed suit. Foggy went to his office for the documents. 

"You can come if you behave." 

"I'm not a dog, Foggy." Matt groaned. 

"Well, they have good hearing and smell." Foggy pointed out before entering the room where Karen was filling you up about the case while you spread all the take-out. 

"So the insurance company has sued them for fraud? What fraud can a medium-low class family of Hell's Kitchen commit?" you were asking just when the guys walked through the door. 

"The company says that our clients are not related and they are using the family insurance because it's cheaper." Foggy explained while giving you the files. 

"And I suppose you already searched for every document confirming that the father is the legal guardian." The ones that caught your attention were their medical records. 

"Yes, and we have them. But we need to know what's the proof of said accusations to build the case." you break the chopsticks to eat while you read the files. 

"Oh fuck, that surgery isn't cheap, they really need this." you said when you saw that the father needed an aortic valve replacement. 

"Thanks for stating the obvious." 

"You're welcome, Murdock. I knew you needed it." he could be the best with the flirty comebacks but with the poisoned ones he would never beat you. 

"Hey guys, no fights." Foggy warned. "Just make some kind of truce for tonight." 

"Ugh, alright. I brought enough food for the four of us so I guess you can have some." 

"He would love some, he loves that Thai place." Foggy interrupted before Matt could have the chance to speak. You were upset with yourself for having the same taste as him. 

"Thanks" he muttered like a scolded child. 

"Did they tell you that he was his biological son?" you asked when you started reading de son's record. You had already read the parent's files and all the insurance papers. 

"They didn't use that word but they were very graphic about his birth's story." Foggy grimace at the memory. "Why?" 

"Well, then those are some fucked up news to give." 

"What happened? Did you find something?" Karen asked. 

"Do any of you remember anything about basic genetics?" their looks were as if you were talking in Chinese. 

"Like dominant genes?" Karen tried. 

"Tell us what you found." Matt was getting frustrated. 

"A 'please' wouldn't kill you." you murmured "The son's blood type is AB, so his parents would have to be A, B or AB." 

"I'm assuming they aren't, right?" Matt was the first to understand your line of thoughts. 

"Both 0. Either they lied to you or the hospital changed their baby." 

"They didn't." how could he be so sure? Not like he was he a human lie detector or something.

"So when we win the case, we can sue the hospital, too." Karen was pretty excited, after all if their clients received that money they would be the first to pay that month. Or year. 

"So does that mean celebration? I really need that drink you owe me." 

"We haven't finished the case." of course Mr. Grumpy would have something to say. 

"Come on, man! We had been all week in this case, I think it can wait another day." Foggy put his puppy eyes but it was impossible that Matt knew that. 

"No problem, if he wants it so bad he can stay here." Matt's jaw tensing didn't go unnoticed by you but you didn't mind. You got up to pick up the remains of the take-out and threw it in the trash.

"Actually, I wanna go." your smile dropped a little, you hoped he wouldn't come and he smiled knowingly. Bastard. 

You took your purse while the others were archiving the files. The four of you headed to Josie's, you were talking to Karen while the boys were behind. You grew very fond of her, she was a very sweet woman but the fire of bravery clearly escaping her eyes. When you arrived at the place, Foggy wasted no time to go and get the drinks. You spent all the time catching up with Foggy and getting to know Karen better. You were a few drinks in when the conversation took a strange turn. 

"What do you think of the Devil of Hell's Kitchen?" Karen asked. The boys were now focused on your reaction, you would have noticed it if there wasn't alcohol in your organism.

"Oh I actually like him. And he's hot." you took another sip. "You know all that whole altruism vibe is attractive as hell. And I don't know, all the guys I've liked always have some big red flag, guess his are his anger issues." Foggy was laughing too hard but you didn't care.

"And if he was someone like Matt?" where did that question come from? Surely it was just Foggy trying to mess with you.

"How can Daredevil be blind?" you were kind of confused.

"No, I mean if his personality was like Matt's." you let an understanding sound.

"He wouldn't Matt so I guess it would be alright. I mean, I'm sure the two Ds don't stand for Daredevil… More like 'dat dic-"

"Fine, we heard enough." Foggy cut you, Karen was laughing out loud and you could see Matt trying to hide how funny he found your answer. Weird. He usually would make some comment on how ordinary it was.

"Why? You don't like him?"

"I like him. But you're making me nauseous."

"I'm going for the next round." Matt got up and headed to the bar counter but the smile didn't leave his face, it amused him that much?

"So what's the problem between you two?" curiosity was one of her most obvious characteristics.

"Always so straightforward, blondie?" you had a habit of giving people nicknames after knowing them for a short time.

"I just like the truth." she shrugged. 

"Right." you stopped to think how you could tell the story. "I don't hate him, it's just that I see his face and I can't help getting upset."

"It wasn't always like that." Foggy continued. "The first night they met they slept together." Karen gasped, she evidently didn't expect that. You punched him in your mind.

"You're making it sound like we had sex!" you rubbed your temples. "We just cuddled." Foggy looked at you as saying 'if you don't tell her I will'. "And we might have made out" you say loud enough so they could hear you and try to avoid the scarlet in your cheeks. 

"Now all makes sense!" you looked at her confused while taking a sip. "All that back and forth is accumulated sexual tension!" the liquor almost came out of your nose.

"Are you crazy?"

"I think she's right. If it hadn't been for Eve you two would had fucked and probably be in a relationship right now." the expression on your face was as if you thought that an alien with a Norwegian accent giving birth on your couch made more sense.

"Who's Eve?"

"It's the nickname she gave Matt's ex. Her name was Elektra and their relationship was kinda… toxic. She was pretty reckless. And him being catholic just made it the perfect nickname." probably Karen was discovering more stuff about the boys in one night with you than in all the months she knew them.

"So you're mad at him because he chose her?"

"What? No. In any case, I'm sulky because after a week of spending one of the best nights of my life at that moment he was fucking one of my best friends. Not like I cared about that but instead of making another friend I lost one. I didn't even want a partner, I just thought we connected in some way"

"Is that true?" you froze in your place, afraid to turn around. He had to be there, could it be more cliche? What's next? Josie was going to start singing about how she lost the love of her life for fear. You could see the apologetical looks on Foggy and Karen's faces. He said your name and this time you turned around.

"Oh, hi Murdock! Didn't see you. I was just messing around with my new friend." it couldn't have sounded more awkward and anyone could tell that you were lying. You couldn't read his face. Was he mad? Disappointed? Just curious? What the hell was he thinking?

"Was that true?" he repeated, leaving the drinks at the table. 

"I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of answering."

"Don't be childish."

"It is not, it's law related. I'm abiding by the fifth amendment." you cross your arms in your chest.

"Karen, I'll take you home." you heard Foggy and saw them going in your peripheral sight.

"Why did you start this bicker when you didn't want to?" 

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Don't gaslight me. Is it because you were jealous of Elektra? I thought she told me that you were mad about some boy you had a fling or something." 

"You're kinda stupid for a summa cum laude." you whispered under your breath.

"Cut the bullshit and explain something." he raised his voice.

"I fucking liked you, Matthew!" you finally exploded, now all eyes in the room were looking at your direction.

"What?" his brows frowned.

"God! You were the guy, I just never told her about you and she liked you so I wasn't going to ruin my friend's happiness by being selfish."

"So it was better treating me like shit?"

"It wasn't fair but it was the easiest. She was possessive so if she thought I hated you she wouldn't get mad at me."

"So you never hated me? Then why do you keep the act?" the sound that left your mouth seemed like a laugh.

"Because now I do. I really hate you. Not only you had to make me think that not every boy was going to treat me as shit like my stupid ex did, but you also have to take one of my best friends from me. I suffered because of you." a tear of helplessness slipped down your face until it reached your chin. "And the fucking worst? You were fucking oblivious to everything." you took your bag and left the bar.

"Are you blaming me for falling for Elektra after you started treating me like shit? I didn't even knew you two were friends at that moment." he followed you outside, he wasn't done.

"Listen, Matt. I could have dealt with that, believe me, I did it. But I have not seen my friend since then. I ended up alone and shattered because of you. I don't wanna think how miserable I would have been if I hadn't met Foggy and Marci." your voice broke. Shit, now he would know and you just wanted to go.

"That's not fair. I wanted to go on a date with you, but the next time I saw you I was confused because you didn't even look at me. Believe me, I never wanted to do anything to hurt you." he reached for your hand and you were so focused in the conversation that you didn't even notice.

"If you weren't a flirt, she wouldn't have fallen for you and we could have gone on that date." you sighed, tired of fighting.

"I didn't even flirt with her, I was nice to her because I was in a good mood thinking of you but the next day I tried to call you and you didn't even bother to answer." in that moment you realize he was really close and your hand in his, heat making its way up your face.

"Guess now you know why." you looked away. One touch and you were all soft for him.

"I never hated you." you looked at him again. You went silent trying to organize your thoughts.

"I think I didn't either. I think I just paid all my frustrations with you." you admitted in a low voice, only for him to hear. "Should we start over?"

"Not a chance." you were very confused. "There's no way I could forget the night we met. We can start from there if you like." 

"I would love that." a wide smile appeared across your face.

"So… Can I take you to that date?"

"Now? Everything except Josie's is closed." he let out a small chuckle.

"I was thinking more about this weekend. Now I could walk you home."

"Oh, right. Yeah. Perfect." you were blushing too hard and you cursed yourself for acting like a teenager with a crush.

You two talked all the way home. Sometimes your responses were bitter commentaries out of habit, but the rest of the time it felt like that first magical night. He didn't let your hand go since he had taken it out of Josie's and you didn't want him to do it, that spark that kept you glued to him dancing years ago was now a fire, you had to assume that you could get drunk in his touch even if it was only his finger lightly tracing your arm. Right at that moment, you hated your apartment for not being more far away, but you were totally sober by then. You stopped at your door and turned to face him.

"This is mine's." How the fuck someone says goodbye to your enemy who you recently realized you liked? You were a little lost in your thoughts when he called you.

"About earlier… I mean it. I never, not even for a moment, have a trace of hate for you. In fact, it was the opposite. I liked you a lot and it hurt me thinking it was one-way." you saw his sad expression and it mixed with his low voice. In that moment, you regretted every decision you made about that situation. It wasn't your fault, but neither was his. All those miscommunications led to making it the bad time for you two. Or perhaps it was fate, so now both of you could be here, at your doorstep, pouring out your hearts to each other.

"Matt…" your hand reached his cheek, getting both of you closer and he leaned on it.

You didn't know what to say, so your body took action. You closed the space between you two with a kiss. His right hand found your waist and his left one unalced your fingers to reach for your neck, right under your ear. It was a soft kiss, kinda melancholic. Your feelings were showing through it. When his tongue made the way into your mouth, all that changed. It was the passion of all those years of waiting. If his touch was inebriating, his kisses were the definition of being high because of a bad hard drug. And you realized you were screwed, the withdrawal effects were going to be wildly unbearable. You were the first to back up, but give him a little peck before speaking. 

"You want… Um…" you were hesitant but you knew what you wanted and it was him. "get in?" You didn't know where your usual fierceness was. This was odd, but when you looked back into his eyes you knew why. You were vulnerable for him, but what really startled you was your next conclusion: you didn't care.

His response was grinning and going back to your mouth. Through the kiss you tried to find your keys and how you did it's still a mystery to you because the feeling of his lips, tongue and hands was the most deconcentrating experience you have ever had. You tried to make your way to the bedroom but the couch was closer and both of your clothes were disappearing by seconds. Maybe Karen was kinda right, maybe all that hatred was instead something else. Maybe it wasn't only sexual tension. Perhaps, it was more. Maybe and just maybe it was love all along.

----------------------------------

a/n: kinda feel 'The night we met' by Lord Huron fits it, idk.

[mrsmaybank]

Crushing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.”

A/N: I love baby genius, season one Reid so much. I wanted to give him a soulmate. Soulmate is you: shy and also a baby genius. Okay, thanks for reading. This was honestly just for me. 

CW: Implied Smut, Mild Cursing, shitty writing 

“Who...Who is that?” Dr. Spencer Reid, debatably the wordiest boy Derek Morgan had ever met, was suddenly at a loss for words. Maybe it was your perfectly sculpted face, your shoes, the copy of The Kreutzer Sonata held to your chest, your chest, or maybe a mix of it all.  Whatever it was, at sight of you walking through the office doors, he was stripped of his ability to speak. 

“That’s JJ’s new intern.” Morgan said plainly, before noticing the completely enamored look on his friend’s face. “What, pretty boy?” Reid couldn’t even be bothered to reply. He was too busy studying every detail of your frame. 

“You think she’s cute or something kid?” Morgan playfully jabbed his shoulder, Spencer’s face instantly flushing an embarrassing shade of red. 

“What?!” He shrieked, “I-no! That’s not..No!” That’s a lie. 

“I just..I didn’t know JJ was getting an intern.” That though, was true. 

“She’s supposed to be pretty impressive. Let’s go meet her.” he started in the direction of the coffee stand, where you and JJ had begun chatting. Before Spencer could protest out of his shyness, he was being dragged along. 

“Morgan,” JJ smiled, “Spence,” she nodded in his direction, “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My godsent savior.” JJ beamed in your direction.

You smiled more sheepishly then you would’ve liked, muttering a “Hopefully.” that got a laugh from Morgan and a “Oh, please.” from JJ, but nothing from the man in the glasses. You did your best not to read into it. 

“Derek Morgan.” the muscular agent extended his hand to shake yours, an offer you timidly but happily accepted. 

The taller, lankier, younger, incredibly cute man next to him stuffed one of his hands in his pocket and shifted uncomfortably with a small wave, “I’m uh, Doctor Spencer Reid, oh! Uh, you don’t have to, uh call me Doctor. No..” He shook his head, “Just Spencer is fine.” He looked at you with wide eyes that sent butterflies berserk in your stomach and swiped his tongue in between his lips that only made them go crazier. JJ had told you all about the team. About the magnificently brilliant Dr. Spencer Reid, his 3 PhDs and eidetic memory, and all the other quirks you’d have to know in order to work with him, but had failed to mention how utterly hot he was. You felt a crush hijacking your system already. Dear god. 

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Your hands gripped your book tighter as you shifted onto your tiptoes, “I’ve heard really exceptional things.” 

The conversation was set to continue, but Morgan and JJ were summoned by Hotch to the closed doors of his office. Leaving the resident genius and you starting at each other with tight lip smiles. 

Spencer started first, “The Kreutzer Sonata is great.” He excitedly continued, “It uh, it actually used to be a pretty bold book to carry around. After the work had been forbidden in Russia by censors, there was actually a mimeographed version that was widely circulated. Then in 1890, the United States Post Office Department prohibited the mailing of newspapers containing serialized installments of it too. Theodore Roosevelt even called Tolstoy a-” 

His enthusiasm was beyond endearing. You finished for him with a soft smile, "Sexual moral pervert.”

Spencer’s lips upturned in a smile. It was rare somebody in the office could finish his sentences. And he couldn’t help but replay the crass words being said in your soft voice. He felt a crush hijacking his system already. Dear god.  

“Most people don’t recognize it in the original Russian.”  Spencer heard you say. 

“Most people probably wouldn’t recognize it in English.” he retorted.

You laughed, “Yeah, you’re right.” 

Spencer wasn’t even kidding. “I’m not joking.” He shook his head. “It’s unfortunate how many people aren’t even vaguely familiar with Tolstoy.” 

“It is.” you agreed. “You went to Caltech, correct?” 

He smiled, “Yes.” 

“I almost did too. Decided last minute on Columbia.” 

“You went to Columbia?” he asked. 

“I just graduated.” 

“How old are you?” he asked before quickly correcting himself,  “I’m sorry! That was forward! I am not...I’m not trying to undermine your studies with your age, I promise. I’m just curious.” 

“No! It’s okay!” You got out fast. “I’m 19. I graduated high school a little bit early.” 

“Me too.” He smiled. “12, actually.” 

Your eyes went wide, “12?” 

“Yes, um, in a Las Vegas public high school.” He winced, but the self-deprecation somehow came out charming, “I uh,” His eyes narrowed, “didn’t go to a lot of parties.” 

That made you wholeheartedly laugh. “Me neither! I graduated at 15, which you know is the age everybody else starts. It created a really weird dynamic because the older kids in my grade didn’t like me, but the underclassmen my age really didn’t like me.” 

Instead of the laugh you were expecting, Spencer just gave you a pensive stare. 

“Um..I can’t see why. I think you’re very likeable.” The compliment would’ve been strange exchanged by anybody other than Spencer to you.

  “Wait till you get to know me.” You said it through a smile but so softly you were afraid he might not be able to hear it, but he did. 

And that was confirmed when he flashed you the most incredible, toothy grin you’d ever seen. “I uh, I doubt there will be any change in opinion.” 

“Well, um, I’m sure- I think! You’re very likeable as well Dr. Reid.” you said. 

“That’s what you say now.” He retorted in the same coy tone you had earlier. 

You shook your head, “You’ll find I can be insufferably stubborn.” 

-----------------------------------

After two weeks, there was little Spencer could do to hide his massive crush affinity for you from the team. 

In the bullpen: 

You guys had locked eyes and were mouthing out exchanged of No’s and Yes’s from across the room. There was an ongoing half-serious dispute about whether or not Xanthippe slept with Plato. 

Morgan glided in his wheeled chair to whisper into Spencer’s ear. 

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.” He said, shoving files into the cabinet below Reid’s desk. 

“I’m..I’m not.. I--what? Bedr--No!” Reid whisper-shouted back. 

On the jet: 

“Reid?” Gideon called Spencer, “Chess?” He motioned towards the board. 

“Yes, sure. Just give me a second. I’m almost done. I’m reading Infinite Jest. I don’t usually enjoy literature if it isn’t classic, even less so if it’s American. But..” Spencer smiled, “Y/N likes the author.”  He continued his fast-paced reading of the third-to-last chapter of the book. 

Morgan and Gideon exchanged glances. 

Even in front of you: 

You opened a sugar packet and began stirring. 

“De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium is still some of the best work on  heliocentric theory out there, I think. Copernicus knew what he was talking about!” You spun on your heels to see Reid’s face contorted in disagreement. You giggled, “Don’t give me that face! I’m right!” 

He took a sip of his coffee as to keep himself quiet. “Listen, cosmological theory is for…” 

But the pair of you were interrupted, it was Elle, standing behind you and in front of Spencer. 

“New skirt?” Elle asked as you turned, back now facing Reid.  She was pouring herself a cup of coffee too.

“Yes!” You excitedly nodded. “You like it?” 

Elle looked up and down, but not at you. The judgmental eyes were for the man behind you. She pursed her lips, “Not just me.” 

The only face redder than yours was Reid’s.

-----------------------------------

Nights spent in a bar after a case that had dragged on far too long was nothing new, but the energy tonight was especially light. Gideon had refused, but everybody else was just relaxed, even Hotch, and the team just got happier at each other's happiness. It was great, really. As Hotch and Morgan sipped on whiskey, JJ and Penelope had already downed four sugary, colorful cocktails and were in a whispered fit of giggles. Elle and Spencer settled on a tamer option of an IPA Spencer couldn’t name. 

“SPENCER!” Penelope excitedly shouted, “Y/N is literally you! You’re both adorable! You’re both geniuses! You’re both young!” She drew on her rant, “And if you have a crush on her you should just tell her!” JJ’s eyes widened in embarrassment as she tried to cover Penelope’s mouth. 

Morgan and Elle erupted in soft laughter while Hotch cracked an uncharacteristically amused smile. 

“Spence, I swear, I didn’t say that! I just...I may have mentioned how happy you get every time she’s around! And how you guys can talk for literally hours!” JJ defended, her words slurring in silly drunkenness. 

Spencer rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time they teased him about you, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either. 

“I don’t have a crush on her! We just….we like the same things! It gives us a lot to talk about.” 

“Yeah?” Morgan said through a laugh, “And what is it that boy and girl wonder talk about so much?” 

“Well, uh.. a lot of things. But I find she gets the most excited when we are discussing the theories of postmodernism, in that apparent realities are actually just social constructs and veritable realities are subject to change, and uh... we like to talk about linguistics….political philosophy….history... mathematic theory...and uh, oh! Doctor Who.” 

Spencer was blushing and spoke about you like a teenage girl did their boyband crush, and the team noticed. They didn’t even need to say it out loud. Spencer gathered from the way they looked back at him. 

“I heard she lent you a book too, Reid.” Hotch said before taking a sip from his glass. 

“Yes! She did!” He smiled, “It was her copy of Pale Fire. She has an impressive collection of 19th century Russian literature. All in its original dialect! Some of it’s even annotated, which usually would annoy me but since it’s her thoughts and notes I sort of find it endearing.” 

“Dr. Reid is endeared!” Greenaway shrieked.

“Yeah,” he nodded, pushing his glasses up a little higher on his nose, “I find her incredibly endearing.” 

“Y’all that sounded like a dorky love confession.” Morgan said as the team erupted in laughter and Reid’s head fell in a smile. There was no point in denying it anymore: He really, really liked you.

--------------------------------------

Within two months, you and Spencer had finally put your shyness aside, and spent a very lovely evening at watching an orchestra at the Smithsonian Music,  and sharing noodles at your favorite Thai restaurant. And then you guys spent some time on your couch. And then in your bed. And then in the shower. And then in the kitchen. You were both very sexually frustrated. 

For the following two months, as soon as you both stepped out of the office, it was very, very hard to keep your hands off each other. Could either of you help it though? Teenage geniuses don’t experience parties, or football games, or clumsy sex. The time was perfect to make up for it. 

And you guys did. The sex part at least. “Football involves a lot of dirt. And germs. And sweat.”

“Oh my god!” you shrieked. His hands were in a place they found themselves more and more often: Your pants. 

“Does it feel good?” he asked, continuing his pattern of small circles on that particular bundle of nerves. 

“It feels great.” You nodded. 

“I uh, I’ve been researching the female anatomy.” 

You closed your eyes and nodded your head, but trying to focus on your boyfriends newfound intellect. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?” 

He watched your undoing with boyish adoration and curiosity before swallowing, “Very.” 

“Oh fuck!” Your legs began to shake, “Spencee...I’m gonn--” 

--------------------------------------------

You and Spencer just understood each other. 

[gretagerwigsmuse]

oh my gosh mila my heart broke about five different times reading this, it was so beautiful and lyrical and so goddamn sad at the same time. you’re such an amazing writer and i felt like this went on for thousands of words, you put so much emotion and heartbreak in here that i’m glad the ending was so lovely. and i say this below and i’ve said it before, but i love whenever someone describes bradley as ‘kind’ because that’s him at his core. he is good and kind 💕

Who comes back from a holiday in such a sour mood, you wonder idly. Who’s unhappy to see their partner after a long week apart? - sweet girl i already know you deserve better (also! why didn’t they go together! that should’ve been her first sign!!)

Your music taste is too basic, so you always wear headphones. The movies you like are weird, but not the good kind of weird, so watch them when you’re home alone. The shows you follow are boring. Your books just catch dust. - i know she mentions this later, but yes just because he didn’t hit you or yell at you doesn’t mean he wasn’t cruel to you

You tell him you wish he were nicer to you. Sometimes you’d like a compliment, a kiss before you leave for work, a hug after a long day. All the small things. - she’s right they’re such small things, but they make such a difference and she deserves all of them, i love how this ties back later

Sometimes, when you lie awake late at night feeling sorry for yourself, you can’t help but wonder if you stayed. If you had tried a bit harder or been a little bit nicer, you could still be together. You’d still have your apartment. - oh honey no! it’s not your fault, he’s the one who should be sorry. it reminds me of that scene in good will hunting where robin williams just keeps saying ‘it’s not your fault’ over and over? (i hate that he got the apartment btw)

So you focus on yourself—you rediscover your hobbies, take joy in singing along to your favorite songs and dressing up. When you get a haircut, try a new lipstick, or dance in front of the mirror, there is no one to see, but that also means there’s no one to tear you down. You feel like you. - ☺️☺️ the divine feminine ☺️☺️ mirrorball girlie ☺️☺️ you feel like you is such a pretty line and so lovely

Bradley is kind in an effortless, matter-of-fact kind of way. As if there’s no other way to be. Generous. He texts you first thing in the morning. He wishes you good night. When you mention you’ve had a shitty day, he gets you a candy bar to cheer you up. He listens when you talk about your hobbies or vent about work. He jokes and teases, but always ameliorates with a compliment and a kiss. - this is so pretty and wonderful and just makes me want to cry it’s so pretty how you wrote this! i’ve always said that above all, bradley is ‘kind’ - he’s not nice because you can fake being nice, he’s kind and thoughtful and wonderful and she deserves someone kind and thoughtful and wonderful, everybody does

Proof that you can keep up with him, that you are worth it. Afraid that one day he will turn, you will be too dull for his exciting aviator life. - oh sweet girl no

But it’s hard to shake the feeling, the droning thoughts: now he will realize how boring I am. So mundane. Your dreams are of a comfortable life filled with love. Bradley travels the world and flies fighter jets. You will only hold him back. - i hate that her first boyfriend’s words come back to make her so insecure about this and bradley and how he feels about her? but i’ve always thought he’d like a partner where he can just be bradley and he doesn’t have to have that whole rooster persona hanging over him? and maybe that is a little quiet and comfortable, but i think that sounds nice and i bet bradley does too

Collapsing on your couch, you watch one of your favorite movies. It’s sentimental—sometimes you like to cry over it, not because you’re sad, but because it just feels cathartic. For years, you didn’t watch it. You didn’t even think of it anymore as a movie you liked after your ex tore it to shreds. - oh honey no!!! 🥺🥺 i do understand what she means though about the movie not being sad but cathartic

“I, ehm- I brought you some chicken soup,” Bradley suddenly looks slightly unsure. “I figured you didn’t eat yet.” - he’s nervous! this is how i know he knows she’s a little skittish and doesn’t like others to go out of their way for her, but it’s almost like he knows he shouldn’t be there, but he can’t resist helping her

You feel strange—so many times when you were sick, you wished someone would come and take care of you. But now Bradley is here, with chicken soup, you are unsure how to handle it. You feel like you’re the one imposing on him. - oh my gosh yes i know exactly what she means 🥺 sometimes you want something so badly that you don’t think about what you’d do if you got it?

I don’t want you to make fun of my taste in movies. I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t want you to realize how truly boring I am. - i cried at this part both times like i had the biggest lump in my throat when i got to it

So he delights in your surprise when he gets you a small gift, how your face lights up when he grabs your hand walking down the street or simply giving you a kiss goodbye. All the small things. - stop this is so sweet! and he notices all this stuff!!

You are so sweet. You do all these small things to make him feel special; you clearly care deeply and sincerely. When you split dessert, you always give him the biggest piece. You give him the last beer in the fridge.  Without question, you picked him up from the airport in the middle of the night when his flight was delayed. All you asked for was a kiss in return. He would give you a thousand, and it wouldn’t be enough. - this is such a good parallel, it’s so soft and sweet and shows that he doesn’t think she’s boring or mundane because why would you notice this stuff about someone boring or mundane?

For the first time, you feel like he genuinely loves like you need. The way that you love. With kindness, sincerity, and all the small things. - this is so beautiful mila truly

All The Small Things // Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw // One Shot

Summary // Did you get what you deserve?

Pairing // Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x fem!reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings // mentions of abuse, heartbreak—hurt/comfort, fluff

Word count // 3.2k

You feel like such an idiot, standing in the hallway as he shrugs off his coat, hangs up his keys, moves his suitcase, and takes the crumpled bus ticket out of his wallet.

He hasn’t even acknowledged you standing there.

You shift on your feet uncomfortably, fidgeting with your robe. 

“Hey,” You greet him softly.

He doesn’t reply; he doesn’t even look up, busing himself with emptying his pockets of trash. 

You haven’t seen each other in a week, and your heart sinks a little that this is how your boyfriend comes home to you. Not a word.

You just stand there.

It would be weird if you walked away now. He’ll think you’re mad, and it’ll probably turn into a fight. You don’t want that. 

Finally, he looks at you, mildly annoyed, as you hover around him. You bend toward him, pursing your lips, ready to kiss him. He reciprocates, however fleetingly, before pushing past you into your shared appartement.

Dejectedly, you shuffle back to the living room, taking your spot on the couch again, looking at the TV blankly. You feel like crying. He doesn’t like it when you cry, and you don’t want to fight. 

You hear him banging around in the washroom, cursing intermittently. Who comes back from a holiday in such a sour mood, you wonder idly. Who’s unhappy to see their partner after a long week apart?

You swallow dryly. 

As he finally collapses on the couch next to you, you know from his sighing and brusque movements, he doesn’t like what you’re watching. You like this show, but you can’t enjoy it like this.

“Here,” You hand him the remote. “We can watch something else if you prefer.”

He grunts and says thanks immediately changing the channel. You watch him flip through his favorite programs—you usually watch them together, although you don’t care for them in particular. Rarely you watch something together that you chose. And it’s not like you watch exclusively chick flicks or anything, you think bitterly. Not that it matters, he criticizes most of the media you consume.

Your music taste is too basic, so you always wear headphones. The movies you like are weird, but not the good kind of weird, so watch them when you’re home alone. The shows you follow are boring. Your books just catch dust. 

Sitting on the couch together, not quite touching, a new thought starts forming, bubbling up from the darkest recesses of your brain.

Don’t I deserve … more?

You push the thought away. It’s late, he’s tired, and his flight was delayed. It’s normal to be annoyed. You wish that, despite that, he would have some affection for you. But you suppose that as long as you don’t say anything, you can’t expect him to do better.

You contemplate asking him how his trip was, but the words stick to your tongue like Velcro. An uneasy feeling sets in your stomach, like you’re scared. Why would you be scared to ask your own partner how his trip was? Everything about his mannerism tells you he’s annoyed. You don’t want that annoyance to be aimed at you. You don’t want to fight. 

That night you lay in bed together, not more than ten words spoken between the two of you since he walked through the door. Maybe you should have said something because now you’re just miserably staring into the darkness. 

You’re not stupid. At least, you never really thought of yourselves as such—you have plenty of bad habits or even shitty personality traits—but no, you don’t think you’re stupid.

But then, how come you keep making so many mistakes?

The look of thinly veiled contempt when you come home with the wrong brand, when the sauce is too watery, the disgusted groan when you say something corny to cheer up your colleagues—they’re like paper cuts. When you try to defend yourself, try to explain it hurts, it’s all swept away as you're just being sensitive.

So you grimace on the video calls desperately hoping no one heard him scoff at you in the background. You pretend you didn’t hear it. You eat silently. Go back to the store for a replacement. You don’t want to fight.

“What’s up with you?” 

You look up in surprise from the pan where you are browning the chicken for dinner. It’s been a week since he came home, and it’s, for the lack of a better word, uncomfortable. It’s not a kind question. The annoyance in his tone is palpable. He’s barely acknowledged your existence up until now, only asking what is for lunch or dinner. When he leaves the house, he just leaves. Not a word is exchanged. 

“Nothing is up,” You lie half-heartedly, forcing a smile on your face. 

“You look miserable, barely talk—but sure, nothing is up.” He drawls sarcastically.

“Well, you don’t seem in the best mood either,” You intone mildly. 

“Oh sure, it’s my fault.” 

“I didn’t say that,” You reply softly, trying to defuse the situation. “But you seem unhappy since you’ve returned.” 

He stays silent for a second before he announces:

“I’m bored.” 

“Oh.” You don’t really know how to reply, ice settling in your stomach.

“Every time I come home, I’m just reminded of how boring everything is—work, daily life...” He trails off.

You want to ask if he’s also talking about the relationship—about you. 

But you don’t.

You’re too scared to hear the answer.

The weeks drag on after that. You have heart-to-hearts; you’re not affectionate enough, your libido is too low, you’re not meeting his needs. 

You tell him you wish he were nicer to you. Sometimes you’d like a compliment, a kiss before you leave for work, a hug after a long day. All the small things.

So you try.

But with every step you take toward him, he seems to take a step back. There are few hugs, even fewer kisses. He ignores you when you bring him dinner, not even looking up, let alone saying thanks. In the evening he gets up from the sofa and leaves, leaving you behind by yourself—not a single word spoken. Despite that, you hype yourself up to initiate sex more often. Organizing dinners and nights out. Carrying conversations. Being fun.

It’s exhausting.

It’s lonely.

The thought keeps cropping up more and more often:

I deserve better.

It’s an echo in your head, with every denied kiss, with every ignored question, and every fight.

There is no big blow-up at the end of the relationship. The death knell was long over; you were both just waiting for it to bleed out fully. There were days when you wouldn’t even speak a single word, living your lives completely past each other. He hadn’t been happy for a long time, that much was obvious. You finally grew enough of a spine to realize that—yes, you really do deserve better. You deserve someone who loves you in the way that you need.

You’re losing your spacious apartment in the nice part of town. You have to move back into your parents’ house, your half of the furniture is stashed in a storage unit.

It’s pathetic. You’re in your thirties, single, and technically homeless.

Sometimes, when you lie awake late at night feeling sorry for yourself, you can’t help but wonder if you stayed. If you had tried a bit harder or been a little bit nicer, you could still be together. You’d still have your apartment. 

But then you remember how he would turn the bedroom lights early in the morning while you were sleeping—even though it triggered migraines, how he would keep staring at his phone when you would talk to him, not even sure if he heard you in the first place. How he would make fun of you for being boring or calling you lame, knowing he was hurting your feelings. Actually, he did it more after you told him it hurt.

No. You are sure now: you deserve better.

Despite that, it takes you almost a year to get out of your funk. You change jobs and move to a new town. You date, but nothing sticks. So you focus on yourself—you rediscover your hobbies, take joy in singing along to your favorite songs and dressing up.

When you get a haircut, try a new lipstick, or dance in front of the mirror, there is no one to see, but that also means there’s no one to tear you down.

You feel like you.

And you finally understand, not just rationally, but in your heart: no one should make you feel like less than that.

Your friends—most of them married—try to set you up with acquaintances. They mean well, you think, but so far no dice. 

They tell you you’ve become picky. Arrogant even. They warn you that you’ll be left on the shelf. You roll your eyes. 

You’ve never told your friends about the darkest days of your past relationship. It’s not that you were abused; there was no violence. But you’re embarrassed. In hindsight, you let him walk all over you and treat you like you were less than human. Always trying, but never worthy. No matter what knot you twisted yourself in, no matter what part of yourself you neglected for him, you would never be enough.

Your friends don’t know you like that. And you don’t want anyone, including yourself, to ever know you like that ever again.

So, you are simply not looking.

You are not looking, but it’s hard not to see Bradley Bradshaw when he walks into the bar.

He is magnetic.

When he locks eyes with you across the room, your heart leaps in your throat. 

You are pretty sure you forgot how to breathe when he starts making his way over to you.

You don’t make it easy for him—picky? Maybe. Cautious, more likely. He is a force of nature. Physically, he’s ticking all your boxes. He is in exceptional shape, yes, but it’s the soft curls, warm eyes, and that fucking mustache that actually do it for you.

But that’s not why you’re cautious around him.

Bradley is kind in an effortless, matter-of-fact kind of way. As if there’s no other way to be. Generous. He texts you first thing in the morning. He wishes you good night. When you mention you’ve had a shitty day, he gets you a candy bar to cheer you up. He listens when you talk about your hobbies or vent about work. He jokes and teases, but always ameliorates with a compliment and a kiss. 

You are afraid to lose yourself in him. Afraid of twisting your life around him, just so he will stick around. Proof that you can keep up with him, that you are worth it. Afraid that one day he will turn, you will be too dull for his exciting aviator life.

That’s not to say you don’t have fun together, but that’s why you keep him at arm's length with some things.

When you are supposed to go out one evening, but you come down with an illness, so text him and apologize for canceling. You feel bad—your limbs feel heavy, a dull ache forming in your joints. But you feel awful for canceling on Bradley. You like him, and you were really looking forward to seeing him. It’s only been a few months, but you can’t help yourself.

When you do groceries, thinking about dinner, you always think if Bradley would like the dish you’re making.

When something happens at work, you find a cute animal picture or see a funny meme; you can’t wait to show him.

But it’s hard to shake the feeling, the droning thoughts: now he will realize how boring I am. So mundane. Your dreams are of a comfortable life filled with love. Bradley travels the world and flies fighter jets.

You will only hold him back.

Even after all that time of working on yourself and convincing yourself of your self-worth, old patterns are hard to break. 

Collapsing on your couch, you watch one of your favorite movies. It’s sentimental—sometimes you like to cry over it, not because you’re sad, but because it just feels cathartic. For years, you didn’t watch it. You didn’t even think of it anymore as a movie you liked after your ex tore it to shreds.

So it’s a personal, private thing now.

However, you’re not even halfway through when you are startled out of your reverie by your doorbell. You’re not expecting anyone. 

Dragging yourself up and shuffling to the door, you cannot fathom who could be visiting you. Your friends don’t generally show up unannounced. 

Looking like a mess in old sweatpants, fluffy slippers, and an oversized hoodie from a company you used to work for, you crack open your door.

It’s probably a door-to-door salesman or something. 

You smell the chicken soup before you fully realize Bradley is standing in front of your door, casually dressed in dark jeans and boots, with aviator glasses hanging from his shirt collar. Mouth agape, you open the door further. 

“Wow, you look really sick,” He jokes, handsome grin on his face. Involuntarily, you bristle. He thinks you look like shit—you probably do in fairness. But it’s still not really what you want to hear when you already feel low.

Despite that, you chuckle dryly, although it sounds less than convincing to your ears.  

“Hi to you too,” You croak.

“I, ehm- I brought you some chicken soup,” Bradley suddenly looks slightly unsure. “I figured you didn’t eat yet.”

“Oh,” You don’t know how to respond momentarily. Only your mother had ever brought you food before when you were sick. “Oh! Do you want to come in?” You quickly recover.

“I don’t want to impose,” He replies easily. “Let me just bring this inside for you.”

You nod, letting him pass before closing the door. He smells so good—his cologne hangs in the air for a few seconds. Clearly, he was getting ready for your date already when you canceled. You feel worse now.

Bradley is already in your kitchen, looking through your cabinets. You shuffle after him quickly. “You don’t have to…” You begin worriedly. 

“Let me do this for you,” Bradley smiles as he pulls out a bowl. “If I can’t take you out, I want to take care of you at least.” 

“Really?” You don’t know why you said that out loud. It sounds stupid to your own ears. Bradley turns to you, eyebrows raised. 

“Spoons are in the leftmost drawer.” You add hurriedly.

“Why don’t you go sit down?” Bradley’s voice is gentle. “I’ll bring you the soup.”

Nodding mutely, you plop yourself back on the couch. You feel strange—so many times when you were sick, you wished someone would come and take care of you. But now Bradley is here, with chicken soup, you are unsure how to handle it. You feel like you’re the one imposing on him.

“What were you watching?” Bradley asks as he sits down next to you, carefully placing the bowl of steaming soup on the coffee table. 

“It’s, uh, it’s stupid,” You reply evasively, fiddling with the remote. “But it’s fun; I kind of like to turn my brain off to it, you know?” 

The lengths you go to explain your movie choices are quite frankly ridiculous. 

“If you want to hang out for a bit,” You add, handing him the remote. “We can totally watch something else.”

You want to be able to enjoy this movie and not feel awkward because he thinks it’s stupid.

“Why?”

His question catches you off guard.

“What do you mean, why?”

“You were watching this; we can watch it together.” Bradley is looking at you strangely like this whole conversation is bizarre to him.

“I just don’t want you to get bored.” You admit hesitantly. I don’t want you to make fun of my taste in movies. I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t want you to realize how truly boring I am.

“You’re sick,” He replies simply. “And I’m here to take care of you.” 

Turning to you fully, he studies your face. You look uncomfortable like something is bothering you, but you won’t say it out loud. 

“I just want to spend time with you,” He tells you sincerely. Your face softens. “And that movie is pretty fun.” He adds with a wink. 

Finally, a genuine smile breaks through on your face. He doesn’t understand your tendency to take yourself out of every equation. You know how to stand your ground; he’s seen you do it. But sometimes, that just disappears.

So he delights in your surprise when he gets you a small gift, how your face lights up when he grabs your hand walking down the street or simply giving you a kiss goodbye. All the small things.

You might never tell him why. You might never fully explain what made you this way. But that’s okay. 

You are so sweet. You do all these small things to make him feel special; you clearly care deeply and sincerely. When you split dessert, you always give him the biggest piece. You give him the last beer in the fridge.  Without question, you picked him up from the airport in the middle of the night when his flight was delayed. All you asked for was a kiss in return. He would give you a thousand, and it wouldn’t be enough.

After you finish your soup, he opens his arms for you to cuddle up.

“I don’t want to get you sick.” You protest.

“Don’t worry about it.” Bradley replies, pulling you to him. Finally, you relax—Bradley is gently rubbing your arm. He doesn’t make any frustrated sounds; he doesn’t scoff at the emotional scenes. Instead, he presses a kiss into your hair as you cuddle closer. 

This is what it’s supposed to feel like, you realize. Comfort. Warmth. Love. 

Sharing something you like with the person you’re with should not fill you with anxiety. You shouldn’t have to hide what you like because you’re scared to be ridiculed. You deserve acceptance—even if your taste in movies is questionable.

As your eyes start falling close, Bradley tucks you into bed. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow if you want,” He murmurs. “Text me if you need anything.”

A sleepy smile plays on your face. “Thank you, Bradley.”

Pressing another kiss on your temple, he turns down the light on the bed stand. 

“Sleep well, beautiful.” 

As you drift off into sleep, your tired brain can only think about Bradley. 

He brought you chicken soup and watched a movie with you. It’s not a grand gesture, but it's giving you butterflies when you think about it now, just like when you went to pick him up at the airport. Bradley looked exhausted, circles forming under his eyes—it was almost 2 AM.  But when he saw you, he shot up out of his chair, grinning widely. He kissed you so tenderly, you thought you might melt on the pale tile floor of the arrivals hall.

You thought he was just happy you were there to take him home, but finally, you’re ready to admit to yourself that he was happy to see you.

For the first time, you feel like he genuinely loves like you need. The way that you love. With kindness, sincerity, and all the small things.

note // I know you're probably waiting for Of All The Stars in The Sky, but I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading ✨

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