#sometimes they give the wrong kind of care
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ellouchi · 16 hours ago
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Jimmy dating headcannons (sfw/gn reader)
Disclaimer: this work contains unhealthy interpersonal practices and elements of abuse.
Side note: this was going to be LONGER and include nsfw but I've decided it's better to divide everything into parts. Finally getting this out because there is a critical shortage of Jimmy x reader works (cries and picks up a pen). Let me know if I missed something or made a mistake.
Enjoy!
— ok starting with the fluff: Jimmy feels too embarrassed to properly hold your hand, like some small shy boy. He will make it seem like you've the one who acts childish of course, holds your hand if you plead enough and only for a minute in public, for a bit more when in private. You can be lucky enough to tag after him holding his sleeve if he feels like it. Jimmy secretly loves to hold your wrist, especially in a tight grip, feeling your pulse beating under your skin (he is like a handcuff).
— Jimmy doesn't say "I love you", not in a usual sense. Instead it's always alternatives like common "You make me feel all warm and stupid inside" and the most rare "You mean a lot to me" spoken in a quiet sincere tone. Unfortunately "I love you"s are reserved for manipulation. He knows it gets people very compliant or/and defenseless. It doesn't do any harm anyway because he's merely speaking the truth. It's actually a litmus test if you love him or not, so be very careful with your words during those moments.
— primarily uses your name or alias you go with instead of pet names. Sometimes, Jimmy would use baby, babe, sweet cheeks (bear with me); dear, darling and love when he's pissed off or he tries to be condescending.
— Jimmy has a preconceived notion that your parents/family wouldn't like him, he has enough self awareness for that. Because of this, he'll try to make it seem like he's better than he is, so you better play along. If your family hates his guts, Jim doubles down, resulting in both parties wagging a war. Doesn't give a fuck about them at all after that disastrous first meeting. However, if somehow you family did take a liking to Jimmy, he's glad....but also puzzled. I think Jim has had shitty childhood, so when he is treated like a proper family member, he's lost. He doesn't want to see your family often because of his complicated feelings, but makes exceptions for the special occasions.
— Jimmy knows and remembers things about you to the points it's both scary and impressive: likes and dislikes, fears, dreams, ambitions etc. On the more positive side, this includes songs, books, movies, comics and anything like that — even if he doesn't like it, he has an understanding of what it is. If you call him out, Jimmy either says he doesn't care (he does, so much actually) or says "Of course I do, you can't shut up about [thing]" (lies).
— Jimmy doesn't have a lot of free time on his hands. If both of you are free, that means you are spending this time with him. No, your plans won't matter if they exclude Jim out of the picture. This involves discouraging you or outright sabotaging you. As per usual, he wouldn't find anything wrong with this kind of behaviour. You should just stop being unreasonable and spend some time with your lover. Look, he even went out of his way to find a movie you two would enjoy watching.
— birthdays with Jimmy are weird (if you could tell from the game). If you look forward to them, so does he; if you don't, well he congratulates you when the day comes and that's about it. It's much worse when the gifts are involved, because Jimmy will actually try to get what you want, and the more expensive it is, the more positive reaction he expects from you. He saved up throughout the year, denied himself pleasures and worked his ass off — if you don't shower him with appreciation and gratitude, he will make a scene about how selfish you are. On your own birthday.
— Jimmy keeps your gifts and trinkets in his drawer (if they small enough). He has some photos of you together, small souvenirs from trips, cute notes you left him — you name it. This habit will get creepy: the things having a lot of sentimental value to you, your trash like discarded perfume bottle and cream tubs, even your underwear. He wouldn't care if you made fun of him, but god forbid you misplace or throw away anything from that drawer.
— Jimmy loves when you rely on him. However, to a degree because this man quickly gets tired of running errands. If he offers to do something it's safe to agree, asking too much will get him worked up so don't overdo. With that said, Jimmy always does small things, like making your preferred beverage during the day, calling to remind you something, doing small chores unprompted, basically covering your bases. It's hard to feel unloved when you are remembered and cared for in that way. Also gives him an ammo for fights in case you forget how much Jimmy does for you.
— Jimmy insists on driving you everywhere (so people would know that you belong to him). Also it means Jim has lots of good punishments at his disposal when you two fight: lock the car from the inside? Leave you somewhere you don't know? Or just not pick you up altogether? Better leave all the arguments for later or don't bring them up at all...
— you are one of few people to see Jimmy's playful side: he just loves to joke around you. He wouldn't like it, but your sense of humour would rub off him greatly. If that wasn't enough this man loves to prank you in small ways: it's childish stuff most of times, like hiding or misplacing an item in your house and playing innocent. Other than that, Jimmy will whistle and catcall you when he sees you and will slap your ass in public when you leave. You are encouraged to prank him in return too, but you will be pranked harder next time. Grins, snickers and snorts a lot but laughs very, very rarely. However, it's one of the most healing things you could experience. Literally restores years to your lifespan.
— Jimmy doesn't like seeing you upset actually. He's not super soft or doting, he will pry the reason for your distress out of you whether you like it or not. If he deems it's unimportant, will tell you to suck it up, maybe even make a sarcastic remark. If it's serious business, he involves himself. Of course half the time it makes your situation worse and him angrier at himself which translates to Jim being angry at you.
— when Jimmy is upset, it's best to wait it out. I headcannon Jimmy used to have terrible anger issues but with years managed to control them to a degree. It doesn't mean he wouldn't lash out on you, his partner, it does get ugly. Him hugging you for comfort is actually more frequent than you would expect. As long as you don't address his tears or say much, Jimmy would calm down with little to no issue. Don't bring it up later too, he won't respond and will pretend it never happened.
— finishing with the reminder that you will be carrying Jimmy's emotional baggage as well as your own if you have any. I hope you have strong and healthy arms and back for that. If you're not careful enough or *cough cough* stay ignorant of Jim's bad influence on you, he will bring you to his level and mold you into who he wants you to be. But it doesn't work one way: in theory, you could "fix" some of his unsavoury outlooks but don't expect too much. After years of blood, sweat and tears it's possible to finally convince him to go to therapist. Praying he would continue on his own wouldn't be enough and you would need to actively encourage Jim to not give up on his mental health treatment. Way to go!
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pukefactory · 3 days ago
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.·:*CLOUDBERRY JAM*:·.
⊹ Summary: A compilation of headcannons featuring N as your caregiver
⊹ Character(s): Serial Designation N (Murder Drones)
⊹ Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, SFW
⊹ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!
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˗ˏˋ He was initially confused when you first told him about your regressing, but after explaining it to him he was absolutely ready to take care of you. You may have been his friend prior to this but now you’re his little friend!
˗ˏˋ N likes to be your big brother when you regress. You call him that and he immediately knows you’re in little space; right there to play with you! He doesn’t seem to mind many of the nicknames you give him but big brother is his ultimate favourite. As for what he calls you, well, you’re little buddy of course! He may also call you ‘budster’ sometimes.
˗ˏˋ N totally adores colouring and doodling with you. He always has paper, a set of crayons and a colouring book on hand just in case you wanna do some artsy things. If you draw anything for him at all he’ll be so happy, overjoyed even! He loves your drawings so much that he hangs them up in Uzi’s room just so he can see them everyday.
˗ˏˋ He claps and praises you with genuine enthusiasm whenever you finish something. Finally finished that big colouring page? He claps with joy. You give him a drawing of a doggy? He showers you and your drawing with so many compliments you almost drown in it.
˗ˏˋ Expect to be carried around a lot even when you don’t ask for it. You basically weigh nothing to N and if he can carry you from point A to point B he will do so. This is mainly for safety purposes but he also doesn’t want you to tire yourself out on big journeys. You’re practically glued to his shoulders a majority of the time. He just likes holding you close to him, really.
˗ˏˋ When you least anticipate it, N will run up behind you, lift you up and play airplane with you! He’ll hold you up in the air and make sputtering plane noises as he jogs around. He can keep at it for a while too, so you’re not being put down unless you request it. He also loves to spin you around in his arms.
˗ˏˋ If you’re in any kind of emotional distress he is right there by your side. He’ll cuddle you, rock you back and forth and whisper affirmations until you feel a little less icky. When you’re ready, he’ll go retrieve a cute blanket, wrap it around you and keep comforting you. N doesn’t mind if you fall asleep on him, in fact that means you’ve calmed down enough to rest. He’s delighted that he’s able to help you so much.
˗ˏˋ N is way too much of a softy to even be slightly assertive with you. You’re just his little budster, after all! Whatever you do wrong can’t possibly be that bad. However, if you’re being very bratty, Uzi will be the one to put you in time out as well as scold you. Flash N your best puppy eyes though and he’ll swiftly pull you off that step; he can’t stay mad at his buddy!
˗ˏˋ He is the best when it comes to playtime. He’s extremely hands on, doesn’t mind getting dirty with paint, dirt, mud, it doesn’t matter to him. He loves doing anything and everything with you, so if you wanna make a pie that is entirely constructed from soil you, best believe he’s on board with that. More traditional playtimes are fine with him as well but he’s more interested in your stranger versions of amusement, it’s funner!
˗ˏˋ It’s not unusual for him to fall asleep with you after putting you down for a nap. He tucks you in all nice and snug in a fluffy doggy blanket, cuddles you till you fall asleep before accidentally falling asleep himself - he can’t help it! He was scared that you would be mad at him the first couple of times it happened, yet you felt anything but anger. Now it’s a common occurrence to snooze with big brother N; nap time is a lot more comfortable because of it.
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slasherparty · 1 day ago
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Jennifer Check headcanons for being best friends with her please?
this is so wholesome anon :’) 💌 here you go!
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being best friends with jennifer 💭
she calls you at midnight, every midnight, without fail. not because she has anything in particular to say, but because the night is vast and full of things that whisper, and your voice is the only thing she trusts not to lie to her.
she steals little things from you — your favorite lip balm, a paperback novel you’ve read a hundred times, a threadbare hoodie. she never admits it, but they show up in her room, carelessly tossed onto her bed, like trophies of the fact that she knows you better than anyone else.
she drags you to strange places at strange hours. an abandoned playground at dawn. a forgotten diner on the edge of town where the neon sign flickers like morse code. a clearing in the woods where the air feels heavier, older, as if it remembers something it shouldn’t. she always says it’s “for the aesthetic,” but you think she’s looking for something, or someone.
she knows all your secrets without you having to tell her. she never uses them against you — at least not seriously — but she’ll tease you mercilessly about that crush you swore you got over two years ago or the way you hum when you’re nervous.
when you’re upset, she doesn’t try to fix it. she just sits with you, offering you the kind of quiet solidarity that feels like wrapping yourself in a blanket made of sunlight. sometimes she’ll braid your hair, her hands soft and steady, and you’ll think for a moment that everything might be okay.
she’s fiercely protective of you, even though she pretends not to care. if someone so much as looks at you wrong, her eyes narrow, and her smile sharpens into something wolfish. you’ve learned to let her handle it because she will handle it.
she has a way of making the mundane magical. a trip to the mall becomes an adventure to the “world’s least enchanted castle.” a study session turns into a séance, complete with candlelight and whispered incantations.
she’s always late, but she always shows up. even if it’s two hours past when she said she’d meet you, she arrives in a whirlwind of excuses, charm, and a fun drink she bought to make it up to you.
she teases you constantly but won’t let anyone else do the same. if someone tries, she shuts them down with a single glance, her tone dripping with venom. “Only I get to bully them,” she’ll say, flashing you a grin that’s equal parts affection and possession.
she touches you more than she touches anyone else. a hand on your shoulder, a finger trailing down your arm, a nudge of her knee against yours. it’s casual, easy, but it feels like a spell — a tether tying you to her.
she gives you nicknames no one else is allowed to use. they’re always slightly mocking but weirdly endearing, like “Nerdling” or “My Little Disaster.”
when she smiles at you, it feels like being let in on a secret. the kind of secret that makes the world a little brighter, a little stranger, a little more worth being in.
she always knows what you need, even before you do. a cup of hot chocolate on a bad day. a playlist of songs she swears remind her of you. a sudden, unexpected “You’re not as annoying as everyone else, you know,” muttered into the quiet like a benediction.
she makes you feel like you’re the main character in a story she’s telling. and maybe you are, or maybe she just knows how to make the world feel like a stage. either way, you don’t mind.
thanks for reading!! 💌
you can find more of my writing here on ao3!
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sakyhana13 · 2 days ago
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Excerpt without context from the Gelphie fanfiction in the style of "I need to save my girlfriend who was cursed to be a monster"
(Idea based on the fact that I'm a dumbass for witches trying to rescue and detransform their girlfriend cursed by a maniac, anyone who assistiu Dungeon Meshi knows what I'm talking about. that nobody asked for, but I need to share it or I'll explode.)
Elphaba watches Glinda sleep. It's so funny, even when she's in the form of a giant cat, with a high chance of snoring and drooling. But Glinda doesn't do that; she just sleeps quietly, with short breaths and the occasional snort. Her tail twitches happily every now and then. Elphaba wonders if, in this form, Glinda still has dreams and what she would dream about. There was a time when Elphaba knew the answer to all these hypotheses. Glinda dreamed. She dreamed big, of a life of adoration by the masses and unlimited influence. She dreamed of dinners and balls, of the burlesque life that the Emerald City had to offer.
They dreamed together, one day, of building a life in this place: Elphaba as the Wizard's apprentice, and Glinda as a socialite loved and well-liked by society. One day, Glinda dreamed of marrying Fiyero. One day, Elphaba dreamed of being like Glinda. Elphaba once dreamed of being loved and respected. But that had changed, at least for Elphaba. Ever since she left Glinda in that tower, her dream after ending the wizard's tyrannical rule had always been to one day return to her arms, at least one last time. To return to Glinda and to their dormitory, to hear the clicks of Glinda's heels hitting the floor. To Glinda's nimble, delicate fingers in her hair as they rested under their favorite tree on the Suicide Canal, while Elphaba read aloud from one of her books. Elphaba's dreams were filled with nights sharing a bed with Glinda beside her, whispering secrets and nonsense. Sometimes Elphaba would wake up smelling Glinda's perfume, as if her nose were buried in her blond curls, and the heat of her body just above hers. Elphaba didn't like to dwell on the past, or to ask silly questions, but she wondered how and when she had lost all of this. She knew the answer, but sometimes she still felt disbelief that she had lost Glinda. It wasn’t even her fault. It wasn’t even Glinda’s fault. They were just the right people at the wrong time. Always at the wrong time. Could they never exist without causing each other pain? Without hurting each other or becoming fractured? Not after Shiz.
Elphaba still remembers Glinda’s raw anger at their last meeting. She hadn’t expected the slap, hadn’t expected Glinda to hurt her. But Glinda had. Elphaba hadn’t expected to hurt her sweet girl either, but she had, because in the end, she had fought back. Her hand hadn’t touched Glinda’s face to tuck a stray strand behind her ear. No. Her hand had returned the insult in kind. It had always been that way between them, hadn’t it? Always fighting back and giving back what they had received from each other. Always trying to balance the scales. If heartbreak corrupted one heart, the other would soon follow. Just as affection in one could not blossom alone. Elphaba wonders why they were destined to this. Why were their destinies so singular, yet so rhyming? Why did Glinda's song always rhyme with hers? Why couldn't she just be alone? Why couldn't she exist with a heart of her own? Why were she and Glinda woven together in the universe, even when they were in opposition? Even when they were far apart? Why was their pain shared? Why was Glinda always following her, even when she didn't want to? Even trapped in this form where she was not remembered, where all Glinda knew was that someone had taken care of her when she was hurt. When all that was left of Elphaba in Glinda's psyche was a stranger. When they had already been so much more than that… She doesn't know how to reverse this, doesn't know how to heal her. She needed the Grimmerie to even look for a hint, a suggestion, but she also didn't want to try to use the damn book and make things worse.
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andreabaideas · 8 hours ago
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Thanks for the mention @mzannthropy and yeah, It is my domain.
Vampire Count of Montecristo
He goes to the treasure cave, there theres a Vampire living, It attacks and bites Edmond, Who manages to beat him into unconciousness. Then he gets the treasure.
After 3 days he starts feeling weird...and he realizes he got fangs!!! He IS a Vampire!!! (Edmond POV: Fuck my Life? Now this?! Whyyy??? )
The Vampire who turned him locates him and apologizes, he was forced to take care of the treasure and after many years he started hibernating... and poor Edmond later got the misfortune of disturbing his sleep...And got kinda snacked 😅
Edmond, God bless him, forgives him, but just to learn how to be a proper Vampire by his "maker".The story unfolds exactly the same, except the Vampire maker in question Its a rascal, like the typical leech friend or family member who sleep on your sofá for months without paying rent or helping at the House and Who also drinks your milk kind of person XD Edmond IS just so fucking tired, so, in the end , after the revenge, he gives the maker his Paris House , some gold, and runs away from him...It doesn't work and he comes to visit (and ask for money) from time to time, think someone like Lestat from Interview with the Vampire (he could as well be Lestat and we could have a crossover, also as now in the Amx show he IS played by Sam Reid, would be cool , because he has worked with Sam Claflin before) XD
Then Edmond goes without anyone, as he doesnt want his Friends to be like him a "Monster"... And It fails epically, he creates the most chaotic Coven ever XD :
First Louise get sick of "putrid throat" , so he turns her to save her. Later Eugenie , Who ask him to be able to be with Louise forever, which he concedes.
Haydee finds him, she says she doesn't want to live without him and convices him to Turn her.
Later Albert (our fave Himbo) get mortaly wounded at the war, Mercedes ask him to turn Albert, so Edmond turns him too , and finally after sometime (5 years or so) Mercedes gets sick but she keeps It secret (cáncer maybe ?) , Edmond realises something IS wrong, and she confeses to him and to Albert that she is sick.
Albert asks him to turn her and save him Mom, so, again he does...
Valentine and Morrell discover they are vampires so they get turned too. Everyone keeps living with him, Its so messy that no one truly knows Who IS having AN affair with whom anymore...As Vampire are lusty as fuck. Its a mess, but everyone IS Happy, and the rest of Vampires are wise enough to not ask questions anymore, Its like a hippie commune before those existed XD. And as Albert Its an eternal Himbo, he gets in trouble with other Covens from time to time...and Edmond gets an eternal chronic headache, but Its Happy with his (not so) little Coven.
The end.
Thats It!!
Given the fact there's at least 2 characters in the book who headcanon Monte-Cristo as a vampire, I'm surprised no one has thought of writing an AU where he's actually a vampire.
Hell, you could make it into a modern AU too, with him as an old ass vampire that's been around for centuries. Only downside (for most people) is there would be a lot of OCs since everyone else is dead by the 21st century. Unless Monte-Cristo decided to turn some/all of them into vampires for some reason?
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randomnameless · 10 months ago
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Re about the FEH vs Cipher rant from the last day...
Back when Cipher was a thing, we could have gotten this fanart.
Sure it's only fanart and all, but this is, imo, better at "making the characters live between the games" than releasing a very sad'n'lonely about a goddess whose only wish is to bang you.
Silly and fun things were supposed to be the theme of seasonal banners, imagine if we got some sort of "trying to emulate heroes they look up to" lizard banner, with Y!Tiki using a sword, Myrrh trying to use a lance, Kana using a cardboard Yato, and, idk, Fa trying to use Igrene's bow (their sprites being something like Amelia's trainee sprites where she tumbles with her lance or something weird, like Billy's animations, maybe instead of stabbing with the lance, Myrrh throws it and it falls, dealing damage, on the opponent, something like that) -
Sure we would have the obnoxious fans rant about "characters getting alts" again, with extra salt from the A!Tiki stans - but just think of the fun and cute interactions in a multiverse...
Instead, we have "orientalism : the festival" banners, "bunnies for those who are horny!" banners, the "bridal harem!" banner and a bunch of non interesting stuff.
Tea-time last year might have been something nice - 1st gen Jugdral parents meeting their children and trying to make up for, well, not being there in the second gen - but it had to be Fodlan'd (with Mercedes suddenly forgetting she left Adrestia) because gods forbid we have no Fodlan unit on a banner or FEH devs miss on an occasion to remind the world Lysithea loves sweets.
(I wouldn't have meant a Ferdie backpack to, idk, Siggy or something, where he could say that those ceremonies are common in Fodlan, and an occasion to spend time with people you care about instead of saying those weird "let's have tea breaks while we're invading people because taking a break is more important than their lives i guess" nonsensical lines, that would, honestly, make any Jugdral character from this banner reduce him to 1 HP).
Anyways,
While Cipher had its share of lewd designs - it also showed more care and love the for characters of the franchise than FEH - or maybe the artists had more leeway in FE Cipher than in FEH, I mean, Daisuke Izuka draws awesome units in FEH, but on his X channel, he drew... Riev T-Posing, or his anniversary arts always feature badasses (Hardin vs Hardin, this year's league of super villains, Sharena's parents being in luf and dancing while smacking bandits right and left, etc etc).
Given what we get in anniversary artworks...
(yep, even Cleobulus and Cyril being a weird match up)
I'd more interested in having those ideas than another "but she is forced to do evil things by an evyl figure and is very sad and very lonely and just needs your luf" shit of a story.
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spielzeugkaiser · 2 years ago
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hi, first off i really love your art. the h/c and warmth really hit me where i live and your illustration style is fantastic. lately i've been obsessed with the post where an unwell milek thinks geralt will leave him behind. was that an ingrained insecurity, assuming his super-witcher dad wouldn't have time for a sickly human kid?
[MASTERPOST] - Ahh, thank you for the ask! Yes, this scene.. I actually saw this a bit differently! It's not about Milek fearing Geralt will leave him behind, he actually wants him to. They need to find his Pa!! I think he often feels like a burden; Jaskier knows this, but Geralt isn't aware of this yet. Milek just wants to pull his weight, especially with Jaskier. A little sneak peak to their struggles regarding this:
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Meanwhile Jaskier continues to struggle with his omega status.
#jaskier#the witcher#geraskier lovechild#julian alfred pankratz#omegaverse#there are various things happening here! a. Milek never really had to fear that Jaskier would leave him he knows he never ever would#b. Jaskier said again and again that he'll always care for him and loves him and that he doesn't have to pull any weight at all#c. Jaskier actually became the parent that just wants his kid to be educated and study and learn#(maybe because he knows Milek won't be able to do hard labour but also because he knows what Milek really wants to do)#(filed under: things I haven't drawn yet but they had their big fallout because of oxenfurt and university - things to come in the future)#d. Milek has watched Jaskier working his ass off in various jobs that he didn't like#(and he thinks that prostitution is the worst but only because they didn't properly talk about it before)#e. Jaskier is struggling with how he is percieved - which I think was never that much on his mind when he was travelling with Geralt#being a carefree bard and giving everyone the middlefinger who had some wrong ideas about what he could do and what not#but this is definitely an AU in which he doesn't have a good relationship with his father and he can still hear him say he'll become#'an unbonded omega with a bastard child working on the streets' and I think sometimes it gets to him#(because Jaskier is king of hating his parents ever being right about him)#that Jaskier kind of wants to spare Milek and quietly hopes we won't become an omega - even if he feels bad about it - shall become plot#(one dayyyy)#anyway that was a very long rant about Mileks complex relationship with him feeling like a burden
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brittlebutch · 7 months ago
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finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it
#N posts stuff#like don't get it wrong it Is Not a series about being autistic it Is a series about raising an autistic kid#but also don't be put off by that because it's legitimately a series that I feel Loves autistic people with its whole being#it's kind of a teaching manga so it showcases a lot of different opinions/characters/conflicts/etc. but the Framing is very consistent#in that the manga is Extremely of the opinion that autistic people are People who deserve to be Valued and Accepted As They Are#the onus for change is never put on autistic individuals the framing is basically Universal in the 'the World needs to change#to be more accepting' -- it's a very Social Model depiction of autism that ALSO never veers too far into the#'autism isn't even Really a disability' fallacy; it's very much a 'A lot of autistic people will need constant support in a variety of ways#throughout their lives but that isn't the roadblock preventing them from having their own lives; ableism in society is the roadblock'#the first two chapters are the hardest to get through bc they take place before Sachiko has any real understanding of autism and#so she's isolated and stressed out and the ignorance makes it difficult for her to care for Hikaru properly (there's also a lot of#other characters Blaming her for what's going on which goes unchallenged at this point though that changes later); but after she#understands what autism is she's Firmly in Hikaru's corner for the rest of the series - you can skip right to ch 3 without a problem#if you're not interested in reading about that initial conflict#there's still a Lot of conflict ofc but by then the chapters have some of my favorite moments so i don't want to advocate skipping#them; like Hikaru's daycare teacher explaining how Hikaru's difficulty speaking is the same as other kids' troubles with#things like jump-roping/etc.; and then a mother who has An Issue with Hikaru's presence in her daughter's class realizing the#depth of the problematic opinion bc Her mother (who had a stroke) faces similar ableism from her peers#i'm cutting this post off b4 the tags get Too long but if you're curious but still hesitant man. send me an ask and i will Happily#write an insanely long essay about how much i love this series; i have all the books i'm not excited about the online availability#for Me i'm excited bc i've been wanting to rec this manga for like almost a full decade and i can finally give you a link instead of#saying 'well. you can find used copies sometimes' lol
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la0hu · 2 months ago
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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god
#p#i'm actually sick of making room for people like this#it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7#would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize#which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation#it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw#and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that#it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem#the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice#sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to#i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong#she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care#she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit#i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up#because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview#but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones#but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related#maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community#have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness#you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it#even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself
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juniestar · 5 months ago
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
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widevibratobitch · 29 days ago
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uh ohhhhhh getting all in my head again aha
#ok so even if im right what does that change#everything but ok ok. i can always just kms to atone for my sins <333#(<-normal coping mechanism with Not Being Able To Deal With The Kind Of Person You Are)#no no ok no kmsing but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bruh i thunk my brain is like. not built right#like what if thats not actually bpd. what if it IS npd after all and ive just#manipulated her into giving me the More Easily Palatable Diagnosis that allows#me (and some goodwilling others) to view myself as a victim instead of just an unsalvageable fucking monster lol#this is NOT the kind of problems i imagined myself having in my 20s#dunno why im losing my mind about rn in the middle of all this silly tumblr shenanigans but#i think my therapist is wrong. she keeps talking shit about trauma and abuse but this isnot#not right. I HAVENT HAD any truly traumating experiences. like divorced parents are normal it doesn't usually do THAT to people. that is NOT#trauma lol SA ok ig but i dont even like. think about it at all and it wasn't even actua fucking rape so like. MAYBE i could blame some#some of myunhealthy#kinks on it but thats literallyit#like me being the way i am really doesnt stem from me being a victim of abuse or anything#like there's no one to blame except for myself there is just something in me thats inherently lacking and it's driving me crazy#it's like im in a constant battle against myself where im forcing myself to feel bad about it because if i allow myself to let go#it's over. for me and for everyone i've manipulated into caring about me#it's insane it's genuinely fucking crazy i really feel like im losing my mind Sometimes#and like the worst part is i can't be fucking bothered to even try to change lol cause it's uncomfortable and it puts responsibility on me#and icant deal with that cause im a pussy and a serial quitter lmao#thats not 'fear of abandonment'. that's just being. wrongly wired. inside.#ANYWAY. never fucking mind. normal again uwu
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puppetlooselystrung · 6 months ago
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when everyone realizes that minthara is actually a fantastic character who has great chemistry with different party members and actually cares about people even if shes very vocal about how shed kill people who even so annoy her slightly. then you will all fucking see.
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technicolorxsn · 1 year ago
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maybe I should
#i kinda want to meet with him again before im too busy again....#one more time to feel connected rather than isolated#i tried... i did talk to people and try to connect but... it feels like no one ever hears me#i get responses but no questions back#i hate always having to do all the work in everything.. sometimes i wish someone else would for a change#i dont like having to make all of the effort...#i hate that once i start it becomes expected#and if i stop or ask for change im 'being mean' and it hurts#is it really so much to ask for someone to want too?#it makes me feel like people only put up with me... only placate me#maybe its true.. it has been in the past#i dont think they cared about me.. im not sure she did either anymore#i just... make myself useful and sometimes i wonder if that's the only reason im kept around#because of kind words and gifts and my willingness to play mom and therapist and fill whatever need#what if thats all im good for?#i love giving gifts. i love putting in effort. i love showing how deeply i care. i love talking to people. i do.#but i hate that its always my 'job' my 'responsiblility'#and if i ask for any reciprocity im in the wrong.. im too much work or im just straight up wrong and 'what do you mean i totally do? youre#just needy and crazy'#im so tired....#i wish it were also seen as what it is rather than it becoming expected..#its a gift not an obligation.. i want people to appreciate what i do rather than expect it..#at least hes not like that.. not really#hopefully i can meet with him this weekend
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cuntwrap--supreme · 3 months ago
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My cat butted up against my hand and it reminded me of when my childhood cat was starting to go senile and my mom suggested we just have her put down because she doesn't really matter once she's lost it and that she never cared about me besides being a hand that provides food (even though I was the only person in the family she was comfortable around after she'd gone totally feral out of age-induced confusion). My mom never liked that cat, even though she was a really good cat. It's not her fault she got old and couldn't remember shit. To me, that's when she needed the most care. To my mom, she deserved to be locked in the basement for the last two years of her life. And, because my mom seldom let her out and I was both in college and working full time and could only release her for a few hours daily, the basement ended up being where she felt safe, and she would only leave if I picked her up and moved her out. Which is so sad. Imagine treating a dying animal that way.
#but she's also one of those people who gets sick of animals like so fast#it's a wonder she let me keep my dog back when i got her#i probably threatened to kick the shit out of her if she got rid of my dog or something#which i know is like a 'thats something only white people do' kind of statement but no. it's because she's a sack of shit#you couldn't pay me to respect my mom#she could have me at gunpoint saying to respect her and I'd still call her a bad mom#i don't respect authority without reason and i don't respect people with the idea that having kids elevates them to being unable to do wrong#but she'd do the same with my dog when she was a puppy. locked in the basement.#shd built a cage and everything#and she'd stick my brand new like 6week old dog in this cage for 15 hours a day#and she'd hit her and scream at her#like yeah. puppies are difficult dude. they're noisy and the shit on the kitchen floor. it sucks.#and because of how my mom treated my dog when i was younger she was scared of all loud noises for the longest time#it was only after i moved out for the first time (when she was like 4) that it got better#only after my mom was out of the equation was i able to convince her that ceiling fans and bikes and cars weren't the enemy#it's a wonder she's lived this long with how bad i saw my mom slap her sometimes#or she'd just let her outside on her own hoping she'd run away and/or into traffic#and she's had like 25 dogs in the past 20 years too#and you know what happens?#she finds purebred dogs for cheap keeps them until she thinks they're no longer cute then sells them#in the meantime they're caged all day. she will not train them and demands i do because my dog is well trained.#she doesn't feed them so they don't shit in the cage#she doesn't give them water so they don't piss everywhere#every single dog she's ever owned has eaten its own shit because they're starving#they drink their own piss#the last time she got a dog he was 8 months old and didn't know basics like 'sit'#the whole family went on vacation for 2 weeks and i had him housebroken and he knew like 10 commands#they come back and for some reason she just sticks him right back in the cage and he lost it all#i trained him hoping she'd actually keep a dog for once. nope. she literally did not care.#i did the thing she asked because i was annoyed that she left me in charge of an untrained dog and it still wasn't enough
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toyotacorrola · 7 months ago
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like holy shitttttttttt. fuck i ran out of space in the tags
#i have so so so many fucking thoughts. god.#but it's like midnight and im still. reeling#um. kravitz was beautiful as ever. pattinson was actually a rly good choice for the role#LOVED wright as gordon stole the whole fucking show tbh#<- can u tell im a comish fan. anyway#going insane. batman is hope and compassion too!!!!!!#yes you need force sometimes but you need to be kind!!! you need to give ppl hope!!! you cant just fight anf you cant fight alone and you#have to fight FOR something!!!!! fuck!!!!!!#thats the difference!!!! you lost sight of that!!! you saw your own pain and just pushed it outward!!!#im going to take my pain and use it for comfort!!! for rescue!!! for love!!!!!!!!!!#fuuuuuuuuuuck you get itttttt!!!!!!#this is what makes an appeling bman!!!!#like fuck was he cool but he was so..... fuuuck#obv not perfect i have my qualms w how certain things were handled or handwaved away#but nothing ever is#and god. god#like yes!!! yes!!!!!! finally someone gets it!!!#fuck frank miller in particular#who said that...#um !#fuck fuck fuck#selinaaaaaaaaaaa#i actually rly liked her & bruce together!! like fuck standards are 6 feet under but#agghhhh#always love when they do cwoman justice#fuck the villain also did SUCH a good job of pissing me off#like at the beginning u can almost understand... yeah they are corrupt yeah why arent they doing what they should#like minus the whole brutal murder thing obv but u can almost thing he might be some1 who wants real change but fell down the wrong hole#but no!!! hes selfish!! he cares about himself and his own hurt and making others hurt!! thats it!!!!#txt
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inkoutsidethelines · 2 years ago
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Thinking about how I would write an adult Scooby-Doo series, because I think it can be done.
The first thing I’d do is make the characters actually be adults.  Still young, but adults, in the mid to late 20s range.  Mystery Inc. is a private detective type business that they run together.  In this universe, the supernatural/ghosts/etc are real, but not necessarily common, so when they take on a case, the culprit might be a person disguised as a monster, or it might actually be a real ghost.  The stakes can be higher; sometimes a bad guy is legitimately trying to kill them.  Sometimes the mystery they’re trying to solve is a murder.  Sometimes they actually get hurt on their cases.
Fred: the core of Fred’s character should be that he’s incredibly kind.  Like, give a stranger the shirt off his back kind.  The “Fred can’t talk to potential clients because he might take a case for free and we need to eat” kind.  He’s an honest and good person and sometimes gets himself into trouble because he assumes other people are too.  While he’s not very good at reading people or noticing ulterior motives, he’s brilliant when it comes to mechanical or engineering type stuff, so he’s the one who keeps the mystery machine running, builds their gadgets, and of course, designs the traps.
Daphne: she comes from old money, and her parents absolutely despise her life choices, to the point where they haven’t officially disowned her, but they have basically cut her off, so she doesn’t actually have access to any family money.  Growing up wealthy has granted her a variety of skills, including speaking multiple languages, horseback riding, and fencing.  She’s very into fashion and jewelry (even if she can’t afford it anymore) and has extensive knowledge of both that can occasionally provide a vital clue in a case. And even though her parents have cut her off, Daphne still has a wide network of contacts she can ask for favors sometimes, because she’s personable, and people tend to like her.  Daphne is also very emotionally intelligent, and is usually the one who can spot when someone is lying to them.
Side note - I ship Fred and Daphne, so I think I would start them off as an established couple for this universe.  Dating, engaged, married, I don’t care.  They are stupidly in love, ride or die for each other.  There’s no will they, won’t they, no worries about cheating.  They are in a healthy, happy, loving relationship, and no one (not even Daphne’s disapproving parents) are going to mess that up for them.
Velma: she is the forensics nerd who sometimes gets super excited about the wrong thing at the wrong time (”He was mummified in seconds? That’s so cool!” “Velma!  His wife is standing right there!” “Oh.  Sorry.”).  She’s not purposely insensitive, she just gets laser focused on her work and forgets to filter herself sometimes.  She’s also the one who can get so fixated on solving whatever mystery they’re working on, she’s willing to bend or maybe break laws.  Is breaking and entering really so bad?  Not if it gets them answers.
Shaggy: he is still the comic relief, but he’s the comic relief by being the only person in the group that actually has common sense.  He manages the business’s finances, he’s the only one who knows how to cook, and the others tease him for being a coward sometimes, but Shaggy maintains that if a ghost with an axe is coming for you, running is the only sensible option.  He should also have a range of random knowledge that sounds useless, but sometimes saves the day (ex ventriloquism, origami, the history of spoons, etc).
Scooby: as this is a universe where supernatural creatures exist, Scooby is an ancient eldritch type being that took a shine to Shaggy when he was a kid, and took the form of a talking dog to befriend and hang out with him.  Aside from the talking dog bit and not aging, he never uses his powers in a way that anyone notices.  The audience is not told upfront that Scooby is an ancient eldritch being; it should slowly be hinted at throughout the series so the audience put it together, but the characters never realize it.  Scooby genuinely considers Shaggy to be his best friend, and cares about the rest of the gang too.
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