#sometimes it takes having a lot of gay friends to realize that you are in fact also gay

[skrunksthatwunk]

ive been led to believe that every (afab, generally) dyke goes through some kind of harrowing toxic possessive jealous overly dramatic vaguely homoerotic girl-girl friendship in their life before they figure out they're dykes and everyone always paints this as a middle/high school phenomenon but i need you guys to know that mine happened when i was 8 years old with a literal karen (in name only). ridiculous

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[drchucktingle]

Hello Dr Tingle! I wanted to ask you about that re: your post about how all your books are serious literature (hell yeah Love is real). How do you personally deal with the whole traditional publishing institution? It attracts a whole different level of coverage and it seems that they're very quick to try and box you and like turn you into a brand. Is it stiffling? Is it freeing? Does the attention help more people understand your trot? I don't know I've never been published but since you have experience in both traditional and self publishing I'm interested in knowing how that's feeling for you

well this is a pretty complex question with lots of different trots but i will try my best to answer. lets start with WHO I AM as buckaroo name of chuck

what i create has a very strong voice and my way is pretty recognizable. while buckaroos do not know what most authors look like, i REALLY stand out in a dang crowd with a big pink bag on my head. if you see 50 random author photos and mine is mixed in and then you ask 'which photo do you remember the most?' it is probably gonna be chuck. i also have a VERY UNIQUE STORY with what i create and my artistic sensibilities, not a lot of buds are out there making trans mothman erotica along with their big five traditional publishing bestsellers (SIDENOTE preorder BURY YOUR GAYS)

now if you were going to take 'CHUCK TINGLE' to a marketing department they would FALL OVER BACKWARDS IN THEIR DANG CHAIR with excitement. it is hard to think of an author with a stronger BRAND than i already have in the sense of 'instantly recognizable trot and specific unique style'. even in answering this you can tell that i dont even TALK like other dang authors.

what i am getting at is this: i am VERY VERY LUCKY because my existence just so happens to equate to what a company would see as GOOD BRANDING. it is not intentional on my part, it is just the hand of fate i guess. im out here expressing myself in a FULL ON WAY that is PRETTY DANG STRANGE TO SOME and it just so happens to work as mainstream branding too

on paper you might think 'what the heck no way chuck tingle will fly as a mainstream trot' but honestly the main thread of this timeline can be surprising sometimes. ive been saying the key ingredient for years and i will say it again: LOVE AND SINCERITY RESONATE. when you make art with this fuel, the timeline will feel it. when you stand up tall and shout with your whole chest THIS IS MY WAY AND I LOVE MYSELF. I AM THE WORLDS GREATEST AUTHOR TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, the timeline will listen

so all that said, i do not mind the idea of myself as 'brand' because i am not CHANGING myself to create this effect. what some might see as 'brand' i just see as another part of my art. i have always believed that art is THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE not just the painting but what is outside of the frame. WHO I AM is just as important as the books i write, and interacting with my way is a whole MULTIMEDIA experience that INCLUDES YOU TOO. it is the feeling when your friend shows you your first tingler cover, or the feeling when you realize that i am not playing a character. this is ALL a part of the tingleverse and it is all a part of my honest raw expression as a queer and neurodivergent buckaroo.

YOU ARE PART OF THIS ART TOO

it is my nature of have a PUNK ROCK trot. always has been. but to me that does not mean just angrily going against everything for the sake of going against everything. for me, this punk rock trot means fighting to EXPRESS MYSELF IN THE MOST HONEST AND PURE FORM POSSIBLE and to create the art that i want to make without any boundaries

somehow i have threaded the needle in this really interesting once-in-a-dang-lifetime kind of way. my pure punk rock self as an OUTERSIDER ARTIST just so happens to resonate with this larger system of brand and traditional publishing and popular culture. i COULD reject this, but rejecting it would be LESS HONEST.

this is just who i am. i LIKE pop culture. i LIKE joy. i LIKE dressing in all pink and wearing my custom suits. I LIKE PROVING LOVE IS REAL WHAT THE HECK ELSE EVEN IS THERE? i love being a queer outsider artist and using my small voice to shout at the big bad devils and i like that every time i shout a few more of you buckaroos join the chorus and together we are just getting louder and louder and louder and WHO KNOWS what comes next for us all trotting together.

when i post something like 'WHAT A GREAT DAY TO PROVE LOVE' it is not me sitting here in a bad mood thinkin 'well i gotta make todays post to keep up with my brand'. i am ACTUALLY FEELING THAT FEELING and i actually believe it with every fiber of my being. honestly, half the time i post about the beauty of this timeline i am probably over here literally crying tears of joy (chuck is an emotional bud i get riled over the joy of existence A LOT)

and heres the best part of this trot: because i really have this punk rock way it makes me very powerful. others can pretend not to care about success and brand and all that but I REALLY DO NO CARE. i would write tinglers whether buds were reading them or not, this is just my natural state, and that makes me incredibly strong. if some big corporation says 'YOU MUST DO THIS' and i dont want to do it i just say 'no thanks'. it is not some big debate about my career or anything like that because I REALLY DO NOT CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST. i care about the art

because of this, my relationship with my GIANT TRADITIONAL PUBLISHING MACHINE is great. we trot like equals and we get along really well. i tell them exactly what i want to do and they let me do it. i really do not have to answer to anyone and they deserve a huge amount of credit for respecting me in this way.

and heres the thing, THEY ALSO HAVE SOME GREAT IDEAS

SPECIFICALLY my imprint of NIGHTFIRE is very dang cool. yes, they are the head of a giant hydra of a BIG FIVE PUBLISHER, but nightfire is SO DANG ART-FOCUSED

there is no right or wrong way to be an artist, and my path is not the only one, but i can tell you what WORKS FOR ME. this is the advice i would give myself, and buckaroos can take it or leave it

here it is: never beg the big book publisher, or record label, or movie studio to pay attention to you

do not let it become a lotto ticket in your brain. do not think that you are some weak little creature and maybe if you trot just right they will scoop you up and take care of you. do not go to their door begging to be let in

LET THEM COME TO YOUR DOOR

create something so incredible and beautiful and honest and powerful and unique and important that they would be foolish to miss out. create a community or a system or a timeline or a world of imagination that thrives on its own and THEY SHOULD BE SO LUCKY TO BE A PART OF IT

then when you sit down at that board meeting it is not 'please brand me, ill do whatever you want'. instead, it is 'lets make a deal and see how much love we can prove together.'

now lets trot buckaroos

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*

Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*

Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.

A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares

Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.

Bridge by Lauren Beukes

When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.

The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin

1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.

Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*

Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.

Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.

The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Remnant by Kate Genet

One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?

The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*

Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:

Survival Instincts by May Dawney

Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?

These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs

When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

[watermelonlovershigh]

Day on the Yacht Turns Baby Making on the Yacht

AN: i've had this idea ever since these photos came out and knew i had to write it. and lots of you guys did too because you ate up this concept. so here yall go. hope you enjoy.

This story contains: mentions of sea sickness, trying for a baby, having sex on a yacht, slight choking (kinda), slight biting (during the sex)

{ husband!harry - softrry - current harry era }

word count: 1,962

When you're fertility tracker goes off on the yacht to let you know that now is a good time to try for a baby, you make the excuse you feel seasick and have Harry come to the bathroom with you where he fucks you good against the counter top.

You and Harry decided one way to celebrate Love On Tour ending was to rent a yacht for the day and take it on the water with a couple of his friends and family. The day you chose to sail on the waters was beautiful. The sky was nice and blue and the Italian heat was hot but not too hot. The sight of your gorgeous husband was also making the view ten times better, but that's just your opinion.

Everyone on the yacht was having a great time. Some were laying out to tan. Others were sitting around with wine coolers, chatting to one another. Harry, being the man who brought everyone together today, was going around and trying to spread his attention.

First having a laugh with his long time Italian friends who are actually a gay married couple which you both attended their wedding three years ago. Then sitting beside his sister Gemma and her long time boyfriend, Michal. Of course Harry pays attention to you as well, asking if you're alright and bringing you another drink when you mention being parched.

About two hours into your yacht ride your phone buzzes in your hands. You didn't really have cell service in the ocean so you thought that was weird. But when you checked to see who texted you, you realized it wasn't a text. It was a notification from your fertility tracking app that tells you when you're most fertile and need to try for a baby.

See, for a few months now you and Harry have been trying to get pregnant. You knew his tour was ending in July and thought it would be the perfect time for you to settle down for a while and have a baby.

At first you just had sex willy nilly to get pregnant, but after several negative pregnancy tests, decided to download an app to help tell you when you're most fertile. Though not every time you have sex is with the sole mission of a baby. Sometimes you just have sex for simply the intimacy aspect.

Fuck, you internally curse. How the hell are you gonna fuck your husband while you're on a yacht surrounded by his friends and family. Thinking for a minute you come up with a plan. You can fake being seasick so he has an excuse to go down to the bathrooms with you and do some quick baby making without anyone batting an eye.

Knowing it's now or never, you fake grown and cry out, "Harry..."

He looks over at you from where he's sitting beside his sister and asks, "Yeah, love? What's the matter?"

Not exactly wanting the whole boat to know you're seasick, you wave him over to you. Harry gets up imidiantly and stalks over towards where you're sat on the side edge of the yacht. When he's close enough, you whine, "Just feeling a bit seasick. Can you take me to the toilets on the bottom level, please?"

"Yeah, of course, baby." Harry is quick to agree. The genuine worry on his face makes you feel bad for lying. But you know you won't feel bad in a few minutes when his cock is deep inside of you.

He takes ahold of your hand and very quickly steps over to Gemma to inform someone, "Hey, Y/N is feelin' a bit ill. M'gonna take her to the toilets. Hopefully we won't be gone long."

Gemma frowns and replies sweetly, "Awe, that's fine. Hope you feel better soon, Y/N." You mouth a "thank you" and tug Harry's arm in the direction of the stairs that lead to the bottom floor of the yacht.

While on your journey to the bathroom, Harry kindly asks, "When did you start to feel sick? You could have told me sooner and I would have seen if I could've borrowed a motion sickness pill off someone for you." How did you get so lucky to have married such a pure and sweet man.

Before you answer, you barge in the one toilet bathroom and Harry is fully ready to hold your hair back while you vomit. But instead, is taken back when you turn around and kiss his lips hard with need. "Baby....... what, thought you were gonna be sick?" he mutters confusedly against your mouth.

You pull away, breathing heavy and respond, "I lied. I needed an excuse to have you come down here with me and fuck me. Got the notification on my fertility app saying my fertile window is open and now is the best time to try and conceive. I need you to fuck me and come inside me. Right now."

Harry tosses his head back and says, "Fuck!" rather loudly. Though he is a bit uneasy about potentially getting caught having sex on this yacht, he could never pass up the opportunity to fuck his sexy wife and give her a baby. "Well, okay then. Do you need, like, warming up first or..." He's fully ready to eat you out or finger you for a minute to get you fully aroused if you needed that.

Harry's too kind sometimes. Always thinking of your wellbeing and needs. You laugh and grab his hand to lower it to the front of your swimsuit. "No, babe. Seeing you in these tight, green swim trunks has had me wet for hours, see." His fingers come in contact with your clothed wet pussy and that has him hardening right up.

"Alright, turn around and lean over the sink f'me." Harry instructs and you do as told. This yacht's bathroom is rather small but you'll make it work. You've had sex in much smaller spaces before but those are stories for another time. Harry drops to his knees and as he goes to slide your bikini bottoms down your legs, he kisses over your ass cheeks and the back of your thighs.

"Harry, we don't have time for that, just put a baby in me. Hurry." you grumble. You're far too impatient for him to tease you right now. You just need him to fuck you.

As he stands back up and drops his green swim trunks to his ankles, Harry retorts, "Alright, stop being bratty. I'll give you what you want. Know I always do, m'love." He takes ahold of his now very hard cock and gives it a few strokes to make sure its fully erect for you. When it is, he helps spread your legs how he thinks would work best for this position and leans over your back, carefully nudging his dick in your soaked hole with the guidance of his right hand.

"Ohh, Harry!" you can't help but moan while he's pushing all the way in and that causes him to slap his left hand over your mouth to silence you.

"Love," he says from behind you're body, "gotta stay quiet. Can't risk anyone hearing us." You nod your head in understanding and bite your lip to silence yourself when you feel him bottom out. Then without warning, Harry pulls his hips back, leaving just the tip inside your cunt, before slamming forward.

The hand Harry had over your mouth has moved down to your neck. Not with the intentions to necessarily choke you, though he is applying slight pressure, but more so to help you stay upright and look at yourself in the mirror. The scene of Harry fucking you from behind has got you even more turned on than before. The way his tan skin is glistening with sweat. The way his curly hair has fallen over his forehead. The way Harry is looking right into your eyes from over your shoulders in the mirror. It's all so intense.

After a couple of minutes, Harry can feel the knot in his stomach tighten and he knows he's about to come. Your tight pussy just feels so good hugging his cock. Wanting to see if you were up there with him, he questions in heavy pants, "Are you close? M'bout to come. Just feels so - fuckin' - good, Y/N!"

You nod and squeak out, "Yeah, I'm close too, H." Knowing you may need a little bit of extra help, he takes his right hand that he had stationed on your hip for stability and reaches in front of you until he finds your clit. When he does, he begins rubbing the nerve in tight circles and that's exactly what pushes you over the edge. That and his cock rubbing against your g-spot from this angle. You nearly fall forward because as you come your legs give out and if Harry wasn't pressed up behind you, you're sure you would have collapsed onto the boats floor.

"Ah, God!!!" you gasp while waves of pleasure roll through your body. Your orgasm triggers Harry's and he shoots his load as deep as he can inside of you. His hips falter their movements and he has to bite down on your shoulder to quiet himself from the moans he's dying to let out.

Slowly, everything comes to a stop and you're both left sweaty and panting for air in this small yacht bathroom. Harry carefully removes his hand from your throat and you slowly start to lean forward over the counter top again. The movement causes you to accidently pulse around his softening cock and he curses in slight pain. "Fuckin' hell."

"Sorry, sorry." you repeat out of breath and Harry shushes you by gently responding, "It's alright. Gonna pull out now and then I'll help you up on the counter so my cum doesn't drip on the floor." You nod and Harry carefully pulls his dick out your pussy and turns you around to lift you up on the small countertop beside the sink.

Now face to face, Harry can't help but to lean forward and plant a kiss to your lips. The kiss stays soft and airy. But knowing people above is bound to become concerned with how long you've been down here, you whisper, "Love you. Thank you for coming down here with me and I hope we made a little baby. Can't wait for our family to grow."

Harry nearly cries and gets hard again at the same time with all this baby talk. "Y/N, no need to thank me. Love you so much and would do anything to give us a baby. Even if that means break away from my friends and family to fuck my wife in a yacht's bathroom in the Italian ocean."

---------------------------

Harry helped you get cleaned up and properly dressed again as well as redress himself. Then you both walk hand in hand back up to the top deck again where everyone looks at you with concern. Gemma's the first to come up to you and asks, "Feeling better, love? You can have a sickness pill if you need one? I always bring extra."

Feeling bad for everyone's genuine concern on your sea sickness but also happy you weren't actually sea sick, you decline, "Oh, no thank you. I'm feeling much better now. Your brother is a great doctor."

Everyone continues to have a great time. Laughing and enjoying the summer sun. Until Brad, Harry's friend and personal trainer comes up behind you and gasps, "Y/N, why is there a bite mark on your shoulder? Are you alright?" Your eyes go wide and Harry who heard the entire interaction goes pale in front of you. To the point he looks as though he may actually get sea sick.

"Um, um.." you stutter. Well fuck, how do you explain they're your husbands teeth marks from where he bit your shoulder to conceal his moans while coming inside of you to give you a baby.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe14  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

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______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[growingstories]

Danny the feeder (NEW PICTURES)

At 36 years old, Danny was in amazing shape, tall, very handsome and had a big paycheck as a freelance tax consultant. He was a proud gay man and a fitness freak, spending hours in the gym sculpting his physique. However, Danny had a peculiar habit that raised a few eyebrows among his friends.

Danny had a tendency to seek out young, ripped men at gay bars and take them home. But instead of pursuing typical romantic relationships, he would shower them with gifts, cook delicious meals, and pay for everything. He would manipulate them into eating more, making them lazy, and ultimately causing them to gain weight. Once they complained about their newfound weight and planning on losing weight, Danny would break up with them and move on to his next victim.

One day, Danny met Diego, a student from Brazil. Diego fell head over heels for Danny, enticed by not only the great sex but also the lavish meals, gifts, and new clothes. However, as time went on, Diego began to feel lonely and lazy. Danny forbade Diego from going to the gym without him or going out in general. Danny would make sure to keep Diego busy with big meals, Netflix series, expensive gifts and sex, lots of sex. Danny was hitting Diego up and lured him into eating a bit more in return of a blowjob or all the way. Danny would get up early to prepare a big breakfast, after breakfast Diego would be too full and tired to get out of bed which gives Danny time for a good workout. Danny would let Diego stay in bed for days bringing him more food and sex. The only time Diego would be outside was for his classes or to drive from home to a restaurant for a lavish meal combined with lots of booze followed by passionate sex. Danny gave him an unlimited Uber account so Diego wouldn’t have to walk a single step.

Three months into their relationship, Diego found himself ten kilograms heavier, feeling lazy, and having lost his coveted six-pack. Danny, however, had already started shopping for bigger-sized clothes to accommodate Diego's expanding waistline. Diego wanted to eat healthy again and go to the gym to get back in shape, which led to many very heated arguments with Danny. Danny labeled him ungrateful and stopped the cooking and paying.

Diego panicked as he didn’t have any savings left so he apologised and hoped he could sneak in some cardio in his day sometime. Danny started cooking bigger meals and became more controling. He drove Diego everywhere and wanted to know every detail of his day. Diego got teased in classes for his new belly but also running the school stairs up and down became a challenge. One morning after an amazing session of sex and a huge breakfast Danny left Diego alone in bed again for his workout. Diego thought this would be a moment to go for a run and get fit again. First he couldn’t find his workout clothes, so he tried on some of Danny. XL… he used to be a M when he started dating Danny. He tried to close his shoes but his belly was in the way. When he was ready to go out he saw Danny back in the house. Danny was back early because he was horny and wanted a second session, therefor he brought a dozen doughnuts and two big frappucinos. But when seeing Diego in his workout clothes his mood changed and got en evil look in his eye. Diego got scared and awaited Danny’s reaction. Danny ordered him to eat the doughnuts and drinks at once. After the sixth Diego protested. Danny calmly said, I pay so I play. If you don’t like the rules you can leave. Diego realized that this game was pure manipulation so he got up and left.

Back in his dorm, Diego found himself broke, 25kg heavier, out of shape and with clothes that no longer fit him. Diego went into the college gym and started his journey to become his old self again.

Six months passed and Diego felt confident again to move on and decided to visit a gay bar. There, he struck up a conversation with Thomas, a very handsome nerdy guy with a big broad chest and shoulders and big round biceps. He did however have with a bit of a potbelly. It was a fun night but Thomas revealed that he was already in a relationship but promissed to stay in contact as friends.

Curiosity sparked, Diego checked Thomas's Instagram and discovered that Thomas was Danny's new boyfriend! Thomas, too, had fallen victim to Danny's manipulative ways, as evident by his potbelly becoming more prominent with each passing week on social media.

Diego saw that Danny would take Thomas out almost every day, which he wasn’t allowed. Fancy restaurants and bars and big piles of food on every picture. Every week he would see Thomas in new clothes and wear expensive watched and get a bit bigger.

Diego started chatting to Thomas determined to help both himself and Thomas escape from Danny's clutches, Diego told him how he himself was being manipulated to eat more and gain weight. Thomas was in denial first, he claimed that he was very happy and he didnt mind the extra weight as he felt strong and Danny appreciated him for it.

After a few weeks Diego received a call from Thomas that he wanted to meet up. Diego found Thomas nervously eating a big piece of cake. He saw that Thomas gained even more weight.

Thomas explained that he wanted Danny to stop because he had Thomas stand on the scale every day and if he hadn’t gained weight that day he would be locked up in the kitchen until he finished the extra calorie amount. He got scared because he didn’t want to become too fat and lose control over his life.

Diego explained Danny’s routine. Thomas was surprised to hear that Danny would do this to guys. Diego asked how Thomas was allowed to leave the house without him. Thomas told Diego that he had been in in the house for 4 days of not stop eating, Netlfix and sex and that he really needed to get some air and choose his own groceries. So in order to get his daily goal he ate a cake and brought home two more. Danny was disappointed that he left without him and he got home Danny played the victim.

Thomas felt sorry for Danny and gave him another chance, resulting into more eating and control by Danny. Diego concocted a plan and asked Thomas to trust him and do what he would say.

Diego started to flirt with Danny online, showcasing his new and improved body. Even though he never got his six pack back he looked better then ever. Danny, unable to resist the temptation, invited Diego to a restaurant. Danny informed Thomas that he had a business engagement and would be home at 8, while simultaneously Diego instructed Thomas to prepare a sumptuous dinner for himself and Danny.

At the restaurant, Diego ordered large meals, feigning an inability to finish them. Danny, eager to please Diego, gladly polished off the leftovers. Back at home, Thomas prepared an indulgent dinner, but Danny claimed he wasn't hungry. Thomas persisted with his questions of where he was until Danny finally relented and ate to avoid further interrogation.

This pattern continued for several weeks, with Thomas and Diego successfully luring Danny into overeating. Thomas noticed Danny's abs becoming less defined and shared his observations with Diego, confirming that their plan was indeed working. Thomas too, continued to gain weight as Danny kept feeding him snacks and binge watch nights of Netflix. Together, Diego and Thomas initiated phase two.

Diego invited Danny over to his place, ensuring that Thomas could go to the gym while Danny was occupied with him. Thomas prepared a breakfast for Danny upon his return, followed by morning intimacy. Then, as Danny headed off to work, Diego had a big dinner prepared to satiate Danny's ever-growing appetite.

Weeks went by, and Danny expanded larger and larger, becoming an ex-jock with a prominent belly. People at the gym started to make remarks about his weight gain, but he dismissed these comments by claiming that he was bulking up. Still addicted to the attention, the sex, and the food, Danny continued to eat whatever Thomas and Diego served him in exchange for their affection.

Months passed, and Danny's once athletic physique was now unrecognizable. With a big belly and struggling to tie his shoes, Danny found himself helpless and unable to stop. He pleaded with Diego to stop cooking such lavish meals, but Diego shut him down, reminding him to eat his food or there would be no sex. Thomas followed suit, and Danny resigned himself to this new reality. But also Diego and Thomas could’t keep up with the amounts of food they were having. Diego started to grow a belly again and Thomas just continued to grow bigger. It was really urgent to change.

Phase four was the final stage of their plan. Both Thomas and Diego decided to break up with Danny simultaneously, leaving him completely surprised. They told Danny the truth about how Danny had manipulated and mistreated them, using food as a weapon to control their weight. Danny broke down in tears, expressing sincere remorse and apologizing to both of them. Danny had transformed into a blimp of his former self, and he didn't know where to start on his journey toward redemption. It was at this moment that Thomas and Diego, having seen the error of their ways, decided to show compassion and take care of Danny. Despite their tumultuous history, they began to rebuild their friendship, ensuring that Danny remained full and satisfied so that he wouldn't be driven to manipulate and harm others again.

[kpopsexstories]

NCT Dream Dating Ban #7: Jaemin Pt. 1

NCT Jaemin can’t date girls. As his gay friend you help him out with his sexual needs. (Part 1 of 2)

Content Warning! This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Jaemin x Bottom male reader

Content: Jaemin takes you on a ride to his favorite nature spot.

Type of Sex: NO SEX (there will be in Part 2)

Word Count: 3.3k

Previous parts in the NCT Dream 'Dating Ban' series: Jisung Pt. 1, Jisung Pt. 2, Haechan, Mark, Renjun Pt. 1, Renjun Pt. 2, Jeno Pt. 1, Jeno Pt. 2, Chenle.

Jisung may be your best friend, but among the boys of NCT Dream Jaemin comes a close second. The first time you met you opened up to each other and the rest is history. You've always gotten along exceptionally well, and you have a lot in common.

Jaemin gets you, sometimes even more so than Jisung. You can talk for hours. You care for each other and have always been physical in the most platonic of ways. You'd go as far as calling him a close friend. It's a friendship you value highly.

So it's really a shame that you haven't really spent any time with Jaemin at all, now that your week-long trip is approaching its last day. You've been too busy pleasuring the other boys, completely enthralled by their desperate need for intimate release, and their total devotion to your body as their sex toy.

It's time to redeem yourself for your errors. You need to make up for your neglect. And what better way to do that than by giving Jaemin the personal attention you've already given everyone else?

Every time you come to visit Jisung there's something you and Jaemin simply must do together. You've always done it. You simply cannot end this trip without doing it with him again, to keep the tradition alive.

What you need to do is… to hop on a bike and go to Jaemin's favorite lake outside the city.

You have so much to talk about. You've had sex with six of the seven members, a shocking reality that is quite crazy now that you think back on it. And though Jaemin has politely kept his distance while you've let the other boys use you for their sexual pleasure, you know that he must have questions.

You're dying to tell him all about your exploits of the past week. And maybe you need some answers too. How did all this even happen? Jaemin will surely laugh with you, and be excited on your behalf.

But first, you need to go tell Jisung that you're about to head out.

“I'll go down to get the bikes,” Jaemin says and starts walking out the apartment door.

You nod at him. “I'll be right behind you.”

You've already put on your jacket when you walk through the corridor of the dorm, in the direction of Jisung's room near the living room. The very same room you've been staying in throughout your visit. The room in which Jeno fucked you good and Chenle experienced a most insane orgasm under your care.

Not to mention Jisung himself, whom you've been sleeping with every night since you arrived. You sure have created a lot of memories together in his bed.

The freshest one as recently as half an hour ago. When you open the door, Jisung is still laying naked and spent on top of the sheets. He's exactly where you left him when you went to find Jaemin and suggest you do the traditional bike trip before it's too late.

Jisung is on his stomach playing on his phone, his cute ass out and limbs spread wide on the damp sheets.

“God, let me open the window,” you say and frown. You've only now realized what a dank smell and poor air quality you've created.

Jisung turns his head in your general direction.

“We're heading out straight away,” you say and take a second to admire the view of Seoul. It's a beautiful day, perfect for the lake.

“Okay,” Jisung says and smiles. He rolls on his side and exposes his slack dick. ”Have fun.”

“Thanks,” you say and playfully slap his ass when you pass the bed. “I'll see you tonight.”

And with that, you leave one friend behind to go on an adventure in nature with another.

*****

The tricky part is to get out of the city. You're always amazed by the sheer size of it, and though the apartment complex in which your friends live isn't in the heart of it, it takes you a good forty-five minutes of biking to finally leave it behind.

“I forgot how exhausting this is,” you shout when Jaemin begins to race ahead of you.

“You say that every time,” he jokes and laughs.

But when you reach the start of a countryside road, and the houses around you become more scarce and replaced by fields and trees, you suddenly feel energized. The skyscraper scenery you've been living in for a week is soon replaced by a lush forest.

The air is nice out here, not at all like the sweat and recycled oxygen you've been breathing back home. And Jaemin appears to be in a really good mood. He doesn't seem at all upset that you've largely been ignoring him, and you finally remember why this tradition means so much to you both.

In reality, he’s just happy to finally have you to himself. He’d rather just forget about everything else you've been doing.

As you ride side by side, you talk about everything and nothing at all. The Dream teams’ most recent tour, and the recording of their next album which is nearly done. Your life back home, and how you wish you could visit more often. And the many old inside jokes you have, which make you laugh and forget all about how tired your body is feeling.

It's like this very moment is what the whole week has been building up to. Everything else that has happened suddenly doesn't matter. You feel good, really good.

Sadly, when he isn’t hiding from reality like this, Jaemin doesn't feel the same way at all, and his happiness is just temporary.

Despite having been to the lake on numerous occasions in the past you've forgotten the way. Jaemin has to lead you, and he rides ahead when you turn off the road and onto a path that takes you deeper into the forest. He's been oddly quiet for ten minutes.

You're headed for his secret spot. His hide-out away from the city. The long journey is certainly worth it, because you know that once you reach it you'll be surrounded by a calm and soothing atmosphere in a serene location. It's not entirely lost on you that Jaemin has made you one of the few who have ever been to this place.

An hour and a half after you set off, Jaemin gets off his bike and starts walking. You follow close behind. The path is too faint and bumpy to bike on.

“Remember the first time you took me here?” you ask.

“Yeah,” Jaemin says. ”It was the second time I met you. We stayed here for hours just talking. You had just broken up with your ex and told me about him.”

“I think that's when I realized you'd be a good friend. I was heartbroken and really needed a break. You were there for me.”

“Does it still remind you of him?”

“Hah!” you exclaim. “Not at all. He feels like a lifetime ago. Now it just reminds me of you guys. I guess next time it will remind me of all your dicks.”

The joke is the first time either of you bring up the sex you've been having. You're eager to know what Jaemin makes of it all, especially Renjun's hint that the boys aren't as straight as their image makes them out to be. It's a topic you're dying to discuss with your friend, to learn if the sex you've been having is really just a consequence of the infamous dating ban. But as close as you feel to your friend you're actually worried about what he might think.

“Yeah,” Jaemin says and smiles faintly. At least he doesn't appear to disapprove of the fact that you've slept with all his friends. “You've been quite busy.”

“Mm,” you grunt. ”Are you okay with that?”

“I wish I'd seen you more.”

“Yeah, I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you.”

“How?” Jaemin asks, but that's as far as your conversation goes on the matter. For now.

The path has ended and the small lake in the middle of nowhere – which looks more like a large pond – presents itself to you.

“Wow,” you exclaim. It's mid afternoon and as hot as it will get, and the air is completely still. “The water is so calm.”

“Like a mirror,” Jaemin reflects.

You look at him and smile. “The usual spot?”

Jaemin doesn't answer. Instead he leans his bike against a tree, points to the left side of the shore, and starts whacking his way through the bushes.

*****

‘The usual spot’ is a clearing right next to the body of water, where rocks and soil and refuse from the tree tops has tamed the otherwise tall grass along the shore. Jaemin has brought a backpack from which he pulls out a large blanket.

He lays it on the ground while you talk and laugh, about memories and the future and more of your inside jokes. He seems to be back to his usual self again.

You've never considered yourself a nature person the way Jaemin is, but the scents and sounds of the forest – and the fact that you finally get to spend time alone with your friend – do have an impact on you. You've always appreciated this spot, almost as much as Jaemin does.

When you sit down on the blanket and lean on an arm behind you, Jaemin sits beside you and leans into your lap. You hold him around the chest and close your eyes, soaking up the warm rays seeping through the leaves of the tree tops.

“I brought wine,” Jaemin says. “And some snacks.”

“Then get them out.”

“Wanna go for a swim first?”

Your eyes suddenly widen. “Fuck!”

“What?” he asks.

”We left so quickly. I forgot to bring my swimwear.”

He looks up at you and chuckles. The smirk on his face is unmistakable. You're suddenly both thinking the same thing.

*****

Water is splashing around you and you laugh out loud when you rush out of the lake to return to dry land. You're in your underwear, as is Jaemin who is playfully chasing you.

“I can't believe you said that to him!” you exclaim when you bend down to grab Jaemin's towel. You hastily dry your body before you pass the towel to him.

“He had it coming,” Jaemin says and smirks.

“Where's the wine?” you ask.

Jaemin takes his bag and pulls out the bottle, while you sit back down on the blanket. The wet underwear instantly soaks it but it doesn't matter. The sun feels good on your skin after the cold swim.

Jaemin takes a sip and sits down beside you. He hands you the bottle while you glance across the lake in silence.

“So,” you say. “Are the guys really all straight?”

Jaemin puts his arms around his knees and looks at you with a serious expression. Water is dripping down his body. You suddenly get the feeling you shouldn't have asked the question so bluntly.

“You'd love it if they weren't, wouldn't you?” he asks.

You laugh out loud in an attempt to keep the mood light. “Yeah, I would. I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter, I get to taste their dicks anyway.”

“I can't believe you've been doing that,” Jaemin says. He finally smiles faintly though, as if he does approve and it's all just a fun game.

“I promise you I didn't plan to. They all came on to me first. That's why I'm wondering. They blame the dating ban, but Renjun said there's no shortage of women in your lives.”

“Renjun's gay,” Jaemin points out.

“Yeah, I know. But the others. I mean, Chenle I can believe is just desperate, and maybe Mark. And Jisung I already know about, we have fooled around in the past and he's definitely bi. But Haechan, Jeno… you?”

Jaemin doesn't respond. He lies down on his back and uses his bag as a pillow. He stares at the tree tops and leave you hanging, while you glance at his gorgeous chest and stomach.

“You know, I'm actually jealous of Jisung for that,” he eventually says but doesn't turn to look at you.

The remark takes you by surprise. “Jealous of what?” you ask.

He's finally brave enough to face you. “You said you'd make it up to me that we haven't spent much time together, right?”

You look at him with suspicion. “Yeeaah…” you say slowly.

“It's not just the dating ban. At least not for all of us.”

You can feel the seriousness in the tone of his voice.

“Then… what is it?”

Jaemin looks up at you, straight into your eyes, then quickly turns away. It’s like he’s afraid of something.

“I love you,” he almost whispers.

Now that is a surprise! you think. You stare wide-eyed and bewildered at him, but he still refuses to look at you.

“I… I love you too.”

“No, not like that,” Jaemin exclaims and rolls toward you. He's suddenly very close, and you feel as though he simultaneously wants to kiss you and kill you.

Your mind – after this whole week of him keeping a distance – is finally starting to catch on. Jaemin is actually serious. He's probably not happy about any of what has been going on this week. And you can't believe the thought has never even crossed your mind, after all these years you've known each other.

“Wait,” you say and scratch your head. ”So, you are gay?”

Jaemin rolls his eyes and slaps your bare thigh. “That is what you take from this?” he says and chuckles. It's a nervous chuckle, but you still don't fully pick up on what he's trying to tell you.

“Yeah. I mean… What?”

You suddenly twist your face and tilt your head. Are you actually hearing what you think you're hearing?

“Don't make me say it again.”

As the reality of the situation sinks in, you begin to relax and turn on your side, facing your friend on one elbow. There's suddenly a strong current running between you, and Jaemin most likely wants to roll over and die.

“I'm sorry,” you say and look at him with a sad expression. “I just… I didn't know.”

“It's okay,” Jaemin says. “I mean, it's not like I've been very straight forward.”

“No, you haven't. But, I guess I understand why. For how long?”

Jaemin can't stand it any longer. He pulls himself up on his elbows and stares across the lake again. “Since the first time I took you to this place, and you told me about your ex,” he says and looks around. ”Did you really think I kept taking you here for no reason?”

“I thought you took me here because we're friends.”

“We are friends,” Jaemin says. “But I… I dunno. You're an amazing guy. And yes, Renjun is right.”

There's a lot to process, and you don't know what to say. You genuinely do love Jaemin, but while you have always been able to appreciate his sexy body and enjoy his mind and personality, the thought of there being anything romantic between you has never been on the table.

For the first time ever you wonder if there could be. And you're suddenly overcome with the horrible feeling that you might have hurt him. The eagerness and excitement you once felt about talking with your friend about your week of sexual exploits is gone.

Jaemin, however, suddenly feels a need to explain himself, and backtrack a little on his words. “I mean, it’s not like I love you like that anymore. It’s been years. I’ve always had a crush on you, and I still do I guess, but I accepted that you don’t feel the same way a long time ago.”

You’re not quite sure what to respond. No, the feeling isn’t mutual, but at the same time your relationship is different from that of the other boys. It's deeper, always has been.

“You're amazing too,” you say. ”I do love you too. Just not… in that way. I’m sorry.”

Jaemin appears surprisingly calm and relaxed. Maybe he's just happy he finally got it off his chest.

Or maybe he's just desperate to change the subject, to move on from the agony he's going through in this very moment. Regardless, he decides that now is a good time to joke.

“The dating ban does affect us all though,” he says and chuckles.

His sudden change of attitude makes you feel at ease, to the point that you even laugh out loud, a sound that echoes across the water.

“What, are you desperately horny too, looking for a pocket pussy to fuck?” you joke back. Oh no, I shouldn't have said that.

But Jaemin has spotted an opportunity. He knows that he's dropped a bomb shell on you. He's realized that you aren't going to jump at him, tell him you've always loved him too, and make romantic love to him by the lake the way he's dreamed of. The dream in which you become an official couple – at this very place which he's picked especially for you – is not going to happen. Deep inside he always knew that, and if anything the week has proved it once and for all.

Perhaps he's still hoping, clinging on to the idea that you might actually have feelings for him too. Or maybe the dating ban is real and affecting him just as much as it's been affecting the others, making him as horny and starved as they've been.

It doesn't matter. All that matters is that he wants you, and that you've just brought up the possibility of sex, even if it might just have been a joke.

“Yes,” he says and rolls into your lap. He suddenly rubs his nose in your chest, and pushes his hip against yours.

Once again you're surprised by his actions. This day certainly is taking a lot of emotional turns.

For the entire time at the lake the thought of sex with Jaemin hasn't even crossed your mind. You'd given up on the idea of a seven-for-seven streak. Now, you're suddenly instilled with a glimmer of hope, though you know that it's a terrible idea.

“We shouldn’t…” you say.

“Why not?” he asks, almost begging.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“We’re well past that.”

You look down on his adorable head. Jaemin may be a good friend, someone closer to you than the others. And he might be in love with you, for real, in which case having sex would be a big mistake.

But things have worked out great with Jisung. And now, when he's proclaimed his love and is caressing your skin in the sun by the romantic spot he's always taken you to, how can you resist? You feel a tingle between your legs and a boner growing, and if he wants this just as bad as you do, how can you say no to his advancements?

You feel his wet lips when he kisses your skin. “You promised to make it up to me, remember?” he says while they jump slowly across your chest.

“No,” you whisper.

“Please. Forget what I said. The dating ban is killing me.”

“Are you sure?”

He stops kissing you and looks up, straight into your eyes. “Yes. Please, let me fuck you.”

You know it's a bad idea, but you also know what you want. Jaemin is the last missing piece and he's offering himself to you. Maybe this can lead to something good? You'll never know if you don't try.

Part 2 will be posted Thursday Nov 14, 2024,

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

I'm seeing a lot of people saying they're excited to see Charles realize he's in love with Edwin, but...y'all... I think he knows? The whole season he seems like he knows exactly how he feels about Edwin, but was denying himself the romantic aspect of those feelings. And there are SO many reasons for why he'd be doing so.

First off, he has said he doesn't want to end up like his dad. I'd wager he doesn't want to have a serious romantic relationship with anyone because he's worried he'll end up treating them like his dad treated him and his mum. I do think he had feelings for Crystal, but maybe he didn't believe it could become something lasting. She is living after all. He very well may have figured she'd grow up and move on to someone else, but at least he'd have had a girlfriend for a little while, almost like he would've if he hadn't died.

Similarly, as well as wanting a girlfriend/ partner, he may have always thought he HAD to have a girlfriend like lots of people think they HAVE to find a significant other of the opposite sex to settle down with like they're expected to. For someone who clearly wants to be alive, it's understandable for him to be reaching for what he was taught to be the "normal" experience for normal teenage boys.

It doesn't help that his dad very well could've been homophobic, so Charles never felt like it was safe for him or the boys he might've crushed on. Not to mention, it was the 80s, so he was probably being taught boys liking boys was wrong and/or would get you killed, even if his dad wasn't the one saying it.

I feel it's also worth mentioning that he's known Edwin for 30 years. That's nearly twice as long as he had been alive. Edwin had shown Charles a kindness he'd seen little to none of before and then kept being kind to him. He was unapologetic and sometimes harsh about voicing his opinions, but also listened to Charles'. He knew what it was like to hide things about yourself like Charles did. Charles may have even clocked Edwin was gay from very early on.

I headcanon he probably more or less went from ignoring it cause it's Edwin, to feeling weird about it but not showing it, to getting curious and learning more about it, to looking up "how to be a good ally" to accepting Edwin and reassuring himself that if Edwin does come out to him, he will make sure he knows that Charles will always accept him for who he is, and that this wouldn't change how much they mean to each other nor the respect they have for each other. (Really, he seemed so ready for that confession. It wouldn't surprise me if some planning went into what he was gonna say. Just didn't expect it to happen in Hell.)

Anyway, my point is that Charles seems to have put Edwin on something of a pedestal. He sees him as kind and good, and Charles will protect him with everything he has so that he may remain so. Charles can't help but love Edwin, but he will make sure that love is from a selfless place. Partially so he won't be taking anything Edwin shouldn't have to give, but also because he may not think Edwin would want to give or take anything to or from Charles if he saw the things Charles hates so much about himself which possibly includes: all the things his dad said was wrong with him, everything he grew up being told was wrong with people like him, all the things he sees of his dad in himself, and possibly more.

AND! Edwin is an upper-class(?) white boy from 1916. Charles is a queer punk from India. He may have thought Edwin would have had some prejudices against him even subconsciously for a while when they first met, which would have also been an acceptance-of-feelings deterrent.

Ultimately, if it turns out Charles also needed over 30 years of looking at his friend like that to figure out he like likes Edwin, I'll still love it. But I'd also be surprised. Boy was blushing and giggling for Edwin since they first met even while dying of fucking hypothermia. I swear.

[witchofhistory]

A Snippet From A Story I May Never Finish

"Star Light, Star Bright, First Star I See Tonight"

Summary/Context: Duke, Sam and Danny are friends from college. Sam and Duke are forced to go to a gala by their perspective families and decide the best way to survive it is to have Danny come with them. Danny is currently "hosting" Dani's core because she became unstable. AND GO!

Duke was fidgeting. The worst part about it was that he knew what he was doing, how obvious he was being with his nerves, but he couldn't make himself stop. Bat training couldn't save him from having to look at the boy he had a crush on all dressed up for a gala in a suit and makeup and oh god he was going to actually die. 

“Breathe,” he said to himself quietly. He’d dressed in a maroon suit that Alfred suggested, since he was the only one in the family he’d take fashion advice from. Tim was a skater boy who would wear converse everywhere if allowed, Dick’s Discowing era spoke for itself, Steph liked to have fun with her fashion, and Cass liked to be comfortable. 

He shuddered to think what would have happened if he let Jason dress him. He’d look like the cover of a cheesy romance novel, open white shirt and all. 

The door to their apartment building opened to reveal Sam in what was the most color Duke had ever seen her in. Her dress was a fitted black number with light purple accents and big sleeves. She seemed to glide instead of walk, but maybe that was just how form fitting it was. “You like?” She twirled a little and Duke was surprised to see flats under her dress. 

“You look beautiful. It's almost like you’ve done this before,” he joked. 

Sam’s smile turned predatory. “Oh, you haven't seen nothing yet. Danny is just touching up his hair.” 

Speak of the…Duke’s brain short circuited before he could finish the thought. His mouth went dry and his hands started to sweat because he couldn't stop looking. He must have been so obvious but holy shit. 

Danny grinned cheekily, when had he gotten that close?, the light reflecting off the glittery star’s he’d laid over his freckles and the chrome eyeshadow he wore. “I see someone is star-struck,” he joked. Sam groaned at the pun, but it wasn't too far off. Danny liked to play with clothing and gender sometimes and Duke was so glad tonight was one of them. He’d gone for basic black dress pants but his shirt was made of thick black lace embroidered with small jewels, making his torso look like the night sky. Danny had completed his starry look with a series of earrings that dangled over his shoulder. 

“You two make me feel underdressed.” 

Danny’s grin softened into a real smile. “Don't worry, you look great. I know I'm going to get a lot of stares, so why not give them something to look at?” 

Duke wasn't normally the possessive type, but in that moment he desperately wanted to bundle Danny up until no one would be able to see him. People would be looking at Danny tonight and that made something ugly twist in his stomach. “You look beautiful. Is that okay to say?” 

Danny's cheeks pinked dramatically and he waved a hand between them. “It's fine, um, I like it?” He looked at Sam who was clearly laughing at them. “Oh, shut up.” 

“You look beautiful too, Sam. I love your dress.” 

“Thank you,” she said through her giggles. “I'm so glad we invited Danny to this thing, it’ll be a riot.” 

“I said shut up,” Danny whined and put his face in his hands. “I hate you.” 

“I know, that's why we broke up. Because you couldn't stand me anymore.” 

“No, we broke up because I realized I was gay and you decided you didn't want a romantic relationship anyway.” 

“Ah, yes, that's why you ended up cuddling with Tucker so much.” 

Danny honestly looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to die or kill Sam more. “I take it back, we broke up because I hate you and don't want to be near you anymore.” 

Duke barely let himself have the thought before offering Danny his arm, which thankfully the other boy took. “I’ll protect you from the evil goth.” 

Danny tilted his head and peered up at him through his lashes. “Who says she's the evil one?” 

Fuck. 

Duke rolled his eyes at his brother and looked back at his friends, hoping to catch one of their eyes so he could make a face. Not that Dick would truly be offended, but it was one way to entertain themselves. “Hold on,” he said when he saw Mr. Masters walking over to them and how tense they got. 

“What is it?” Dick’s voice dropped his teasing tone and he started looking around. 

Duke didn't respond and started moving closer, taking up a position next to the food so he could eavesdrop without tipping off Masters. Sam shook her head at him, so he didn't think he'd need to intervene, but at least he was there. 

“-Little Badger, how is the little bug?” Even Masters’ voice was slimy and set off all of Duke's instincts. “I haven't heard from you since you left.” 

“That's none of your business, Vlad,” Danny said. His voice was full of protective venom and a quick glance revealed that he was angling himself away from Masters and had a hand on his stomach. Did Masters know about the baby? 

“I helped make her so yes, it is my business.” 

Did he just—? 

“You forced her on me,” Danny hissed and Duke swore he saw red. His fists clenched as he tried to breathe through his nose, fully turning and giving up on the illusion. “You don't get to just waltz over her like you're anything more than a fruit loop.” He looked like he was ready for a fight, hands clenched and anger burning in his eyes, but his voice was trembling. 

Sam stepped closer to him for support and Danny actually seemed to lean on her. Like he needed someone there. 

“Come now, Daniel, don't be like that. How will you take care of her by yourself?” Masters stepped more into Danny’s space, looking down on him with something resembling a smile. He reached up and touched Danny's hair. “You have no job, you have school, and I doubt Samantha’s parents will help you when they hear about it. You need me.” 

There were very few rules when it came to galas, mostly that they try not to cause a scene that will ruin Wayne Industries and that if they have to punch someone, make it count. So when Duke shoved his way between Danny and the creep that was touching him, that it sounded like—that—, he made his punch count. 

Masters slammed into the floor, catching someone's foot on the way down and making them stumble. He was already holding his jaw and his eyes almost looked red in the light from how angry he was. 

Duke didn't even give him time to speak, stepping closer to more easily block Danny from view. Sam had already pulled him into a hug, so Duke could be the bodyguard. “Get. Out.” 

Masters practically growled in anger, sitting up a bit as he poked at his jaw, the bruise forming slowly and Duke was proud to see it would be horrible. “Excuse me. Who do you think you are? What is the meaning of this? Where is security?” 

Duke could see Bruce already pushing through the crowd with his worried face on but all that mattered was the hand that fisted in his shirt, the huff of breath and the press of a body behind him. Danny. “I said what I said.” 

“Duke? What's going on?” Bruce seemed lost and half slipped into his Batman voice, turning the questions into “report” without meaning to. 

Duke liked to keep up the illusion that he was the normal one, the good child that didn't cause unnecessary issues, but he would burn the world if it meant Danny would stop trembling right then.  “Who I am doesn't matter, what matters is that you were harassing my friend and you will never get near him again.”

Bruce asked again. “Duke?” 

He ignored him. Instead, he turned around until he could wrap his arms around Danny and check over his face. Pale, shaking, and probably half a second away from a panic attack. “I’ll explain later, Bruce, we're leaving.” 

“You assaulted me!” Masters cried as his shoes scuffed on the floor, probably trying to stand. “I’ll have you arrested.” 

Sam opened her mouth, looking ready to spit fire at the man, but it was Danny who spoke. Quietly, and broken, but still. “Drop it, Vlad. Please.” 

The world froze for a second before there was a sigh. “As you wish, Little Badger. We can talk about the company you keep later.” 

Duke forced himself not to react as he tucked Danny more security under his arm, letting Sam trail behind them as he got them through the mess of gala attendees. Apparently his face was threatening enough that the crowd pretty much parted around them as they moved, or maybe they just knew it wasn't worth getting in the way of a determined Wayne. 

“Should I run ahead a grab a car?” Sam asked quietly, her eyes never leaving the doors to the hall. 

“It's fine,” Duke assured her. “Alfred will probably be waiting for us at the door. Can you get our jackets?” 

She nodded sharply and moved ahead to the coat check while he glanced down at Danny. Most of what he could see was dark hair since he’d pressed his entire face into Duke's chest, trusting him to guide them, but the hands gripping his shirt weren't so tight anymore now that they were away from Masters. 

“Danny? Can you let go for a second so we can get your jacket on?” 

There was a crackling noise and Duke thought he might be trying to talk, but Danny just nodded. He dropped his arms, but since Sam wasn't back quiet yet, Duke grabbed the hand he could reach and held it. 

“I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.” Duke wasn't sure if Danny was able to hear him right now, but he knew someone talking usually helped when he was having an attack. “I understand if you don't want to come to galas with us anymore, but if you do I will personally make sure he isn't invited or allowed in to any you go to. Though if he does show up, I’ll probably go full bodyguard for you again and I really wish I could have punched him again.” 

Danny snorted. “My hero,” he said and if it wasn't for the laughter, Duke would think it was sincere. 

Either way, Duke felt his face heat up and was glad his coloring meant it wasn't noticeable. It got worse when Danny started playing with the hand that Duke had been holding his with, almost massaging it. It felt nice, and helped relieve some of the tension that was lingering from the punch. 

A cleared throat broke them out of the moment as Sam came back with their jackets. “I saw what I assume is Mr. Wayne's car pull up outside. We're good to go.” 

“The cops aren't going to arrest Duke, are they?” Danny pulled away enough to be able to put on his jacket and barely left him enough time for Duke to put on his own before sliding back under his arm. “I mean, Vlad won't press charges if I ask him not to.”

“Don't worry about it, starlight, Bruce can take care of it. I don't like the idea of you talking to him again.” 

Danny stared at him and for a second, Duke thought he did something wrong before Danny's whole face lit up. “Starlight?” 

Sam giggled as she headed for the door, pulling ten along behind her. “He's not wrong, have you seen what you're wearing right now?” 

“And if you hate it—” 

Danny ducked his head back until Duke's chest, muffling his response slightly but the denial was still understandable. “No, I like it.” 

“Then that's your new nickname. I refuse to call you anything else,” Duke teased back. He waved when they caught sight of Alfred and helped Danny climb into the car. 

“Where to, Master Duke?” 

He paused before getting in the car and gave Sam a questioning look from where she had slid to pull Danny into a hug. She shook her head and looked down at Danny, biting her lip. “Somewhere safe.” 

“To the manor then,” Alfred offered and waited for Duke to nod before gesturing for him to climb in after his friends.

Once the door was shut, Duke buckled himself in and reclined against the seats. “Well, that's one way to make a dramatic entrance.” 

Danny laughed as he leaned against Sam but it quickly turned into sobbing. He curled up in his head and his hands gripped his hair tightly as he cried, despite Sam's best efforts to stop him. “Why can't he just leave me alone? That's all I ever wanted and he keeps popping up and finding me, how did he find me? I thought Tucker—” 

“Why don't I call Tucker and he can check all of your security? Then you can talk to him and know he's okay,” Sam offered and Danny seemed to relax a little with the idea. “Go cuddle with Duke while I call him, okay?” 

Danny looked back and forth between them for a second, like he wasn't sure, so Duke opened his arms invitingly. “Only if you're okay with it, starlight. But cuddles sound really nice right about now.” 

Danny's POV/Next

[queersolarfandompage]

Hilson Masterlist:

A bunch of fics I’ve read in the last month, month and a half. All works are completed and over 9,000 words per fic.

My Love’s an Arbutus - Rated G

House gets a soulmate, WIlson gets Hanahaki. It ends suprisingly well for both of them.

Handle with Care - Rated G

This is the story of how James Wilson ended up on his best friends doorstep with a baby in a carseat he’d stolen from the maternity ward, and the chaos that followed.

A Thousand Teeth (And Yours Amoung Them) - Rated T

Sometimes, when House gets too overwhelmed by his emotions, he gets a little bitey. This is five times House bites Wilson, and one time Wilson finally bites him back.

Systemic - Rated T

Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis.

Touch Therapy - Rated T

It’s not that House needs the human contact. It’s just that when you’re sharing an apartment, these things happen sometimes.

I Never Sleep With Married Men - Rated T

House and Wilson are married. It’s not what you think.

Double or Nothing - Rated T

House kisses Wilson’s cheek as part of an ‘act’, it feels too natural to him, so, of course, he has to turn it all into a game, Wilson catches up pretty quickly. The duckings try to not get scarred for life.

The Line of Thought - Rated T

Cameron, Foreman, and Chase keep on trying to get into the little details of House’s love life. House doesn’t like that one bit.

In the Eye of the Storm - Rated T

House does not want Wilson to invite his subordinates over for dinner, and he definitely doesn’t want them to be stuck there due to an unexpected snowstorm. But could the two of them find what they need?

Drew Stars Around my Scars - Rated T

James Wilson loves Gregory House in secret, but perhaps he is closer to knowing than he realizes.

Oreos, a Cane, and a Hell of a Lot of Diapers - Rated T

Hilson AU in which House and Wilson are waiting for the birth of their two babies. Watch them survive their first few weeks of parenthood along with the struggles it takes to be a parent.

Impossible - Rated T

“Wilson, hey-“

“…This is James Wilson. I can’t get to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

Oh.

There was a long, sustained tone, and House cleared his throat.

“Wilson. I’m sorry for what I said to you in January. It was over the line, and I shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. I know you don’t want to talk to me, and… I’ll respect that. I just wanted you to know that I’m…”

He looked down at the flowers.

“I’m sorry.”

House and Wilson both have Hanahaki Disease, and would rather die than give up their feelings.

No Need to Worry (Making Up Your Mind) - Rated T

House makes the mistake of telling his mother he can’t join her for Christmas because of his new boyfriend. Somehow, this becomes Wilson’s problem.

Something to Prove Series - Rated T

Something to Prove

When House suddenly want to initiate a relationship with Wilson, Wilson is overjoyed. The feelings he’d held for years are finally mutual. Or are they?

Marathons

House and Wilson decide to let the other people in their lives in on the fact that they’re dating. But no, they can’t just sit them down and tell them. Of course not. That would be too boring.

After School - Rated T

Gregory House is incredibly bored with his life when James Wilson is hired to teach Anatomy & Physiology alongside him at Princeton Plainsboro High School. Though he wants to maintain that same monotony he’s grown comfortable with, House quickly finds out that one school year can change a lot.

Life’s Harsh and Sweet Lessons - Rated T

House and Wilson find out that a simple act of kindness can turn into something so much more for all involved. (I love this fic so much. They’re just gay dog dads.)

Losing Balance - Rated T

There’s a new case for House, in which Wilson gets stuck by chance. The relationship between the patiend and his best friend brings up new issues House and Wilson have to deal with. While the first simply chooses to ignore them, the second is forced to face the changes in their friendship and the influence that the people around them have on it.

Gaseous Nebula - Rated T

After a hard day at work, House and Wilson intend to spend their evening watching the Princeton Philharmonic Orchestra. Instead, the building collapses, leaving on of them trapped in peril and the other desperate for answeres. The chaos drives them to revelations about themselves and each other, but it may be too late.

Ship of Fools - Rated M

The Captain’s a tyrant and possibly a madman, but when the crew rebels it’s Wilson who gets caught in the crossfire.

Bait and Switch - Rated M

Wilson tricks House into participating in a bachelor auction to benefit the hospital.

Fool’s Gold - Rated M

Don’t threaten what isn’t yours. (Dragon AU)

Old Machines - Rated M

Wilson said, “So we’re just two friends who want to have sex with each other, who aren’t going to do anything about it.”

Spoken with the increduility of a beautiful person with low impulse control. House shrugged.

“We’ve been that for years. Why mess with success?”

Wilson was looking at his mouth. He sounded strained. “I don’t think what we’re doing qualifies as success.”

Not as Easy as it Looks on TV - Rated M

House and Wilson share an intimate moment. the likes of which Wilson had never seen before in their three year relationship. It drives Wilson to realize he wants to marry House, but of course it’s never that easy, is it?

That’s How Strong My Love Is - Rated M

For once, Wilson doesn’t fall into a relationship, much to House’s irritataion.

Fresh Feeling - Rated M

House is tricked into going on a team-building trip with his colleagues. He does far more bonding with Wilson than anyone else.

Love Is The Drug - Rated M

What happens when two best friends love each other to the point of hating each other? They try to date and sulk about it.

The More It Took Away - Rated E

House has been hiding this little secret of his for years. Too bad it’s coming back to bite him on the ass.

The Escalated Butt Dial - Rated E

He thinks it must be an accident. Because all he hears is shuffling and soft… clapping? He’s about to hang up and laugh because House butt-dialed him while drunk when he hears it.

A very, very obviously sexual grunt. A moan, if more specific. Whatever. Not whatever. He can’t really breath right now, or think; call back laterr.

He wants to hang up. This is an invasion of privacy. This isn’t okay. House butt-dialed him while masurbating, for fuck’s sake. And it’s not like he wants to listen. Right? So. Just hang up.

The One-Eyed King Takes All - Rated E

The classic crew plays strip poker.

You’re the Only One That Never Gets Old Series - Rated E

You’re the Only One That Never Gets Old

An accidental kiss… and a few taht are not so accidental.

Let’s Take A Breath (Before We Go, Go, Go)

House kisses Wilson to piss off an homophobic patient. It might ahve been his best idea yet.

Keep Me Where the Light Is - Rated E

House has his Earth shattering, (good) knee weakening, life changing revelation about Wilson at such an inopporune time, that he’s tempted to laugh. He would have, if he hadn’t been hands deep in his patient’s organs.

Absinthe - Rated E

Wilson wants a new apartment, House is up to no good, and strange metaphors abound.

Experimental Procedures - Rated E

An offhand comment leads Wilson to test out some unusual methods of pain relief for House. (They’re extremely effective.)

Familiarity (Breeds Contempt) - Rated E

House and Wilson stumble into a relationship, but they run into problems before long.

Around We Go Once More - Rated E

Stuck in a small university town out of the country with Wilson, House is up to day 104, of a ‘grounghog day’ style constatly recurring day scenario. Seeing as the day will repeat, he figures it would be safe to try and seduce Wilson; the one he’s always been attracted to, but never acted on it, for fear it would ‘ruin the friendship.’ This is not as easy as he planned, particularly as Wilson refuses to take him seriously.

Stay With Me - Rated E

House has always depended on Wilson’s friendship, but now he finds himself depending on him for his very life - and Wilson realizes that both mean more to him than he ever realized.

I’ll See You In Court - Rated E

Every year, the council chooses ten alphas to participate in the breeding run — this year Wilson has been chosen. He’ll be forced to bond with whichever omega he knocks up whilst he’s in heat. When House hears, he’s forced to take action. There’s only one way to get pulled from the yearly run, and taht’s to file an intent to bond. And in order to file an intent to bond, you need an omega willing to go through with it.

There’s only a week until Wilson’s heat, but luckily, House knows just the omega for the job.

Things That Go Bump - Rated E

Wilson has nightmares. House gets a headache. Everyone tries to diagnose just what’s going on between them.

If He Spends That Dough (Imma Throw Him a Bone) - Rated E

James Wilson loves to feel needed, so who is hOuse to refuse him?

Money, sex, and love is all you need. In that order.

Howler Tone - Rated E

The calls always happen late at night, and they’re extremely sporadic, with weeks, sometimes months bridging between them. They talk on the phone otherwise, of course; about patients, or dinner plans, or carpooling. Typical stuff. But the calls that always end a certain way always start a certain way.

House develops a new vice. Wilson, as always, enables him.

He Won’t Tell You That He Loves You - Rated E

In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can’t stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug.

A Valuable Friend - Rated E

Wilson has been recieving mysterious late night phone calls. He’s rather House kept his nose out of it - but we all know how well that goes.

Baby Mikey - Rated E

House gets a visitor that will change his life, while Wilson struggles to figure out exactly who he is and where he fits into House’s new life.

Buy Some Time, It’s On My Dime - Rated E

The one where House is a phone sex operator.

You’re So Fuckin’ Special (Run) - Rated E

It was full of pictures.

And all of them are of Wilson.

In Every Lie, In Every Truth That You’d Deny - Rated E

Wilson just needs someone to take care of while he recovers from yet another divorce. That’s all this is.

Ath least, that’s what House thinks.

A Patient’s Guide to Living with ICS - Rated E

House and Wilson share a hotel room at a medical conference.

Hooked (On Feeling Low) - Rated E

There are things even House cannot control.

Can Wilson continue picking up the pieces?

A Modest Proposal - Rated E

Tritter’s case agianst House still depends on subpoenaeded testimony from Wilson. To save House from losing everything, the doctors of PPTH decide on an unusal solution, which in turn leads to unexpected consequences. This is a story about the sacrifices we make that turn out not to be such great sacrifices after all.

Silk, Lace, and Satin Bows - Rated E

“What’re those,” House lilted, taking a firmer hold on the blanket and tugging, even as Wilson cluched the blanket to his chest, his eyse impossibly wide as he shook his head.

“It’s nothing,” Wilson gritted out, cheeks flushing hotly. “I just… I borrowed some underwear from Sam. It’s nothing. Just get out, House,” the younger man hissed, clutching the blanket more firmly to his chest.

The Marrying Kind - Rated E

The one where House is a wedding planner and Wilson keeps on getting married.

TGIF - Rated E

House is stuck living the same Friday over and over and over and over again. A Groundhog Day AU with a medical mystery, the pursuit of true love, and egregious references to Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell.

Correlation Does Not Equal Causation - Rated E

“This… this hasn’t happened before.”

“Most people say that in the opposite situation.”

Alternatively titled: Wilson Doesn’t Actually Have Whiskey Dick

Don’t mind me just adding another fic here.

Grin and Bear It - Rated E

In a world where soulmates can feel each other’s pain, Wilson had always grown up wondering if he really had a soulmate. Sure, he could feel the occasional twinge like that of a bruise or cut without actually seeing one, but he had always chalked those up to random aches and pains that everybody got.

Wilson would keep this mindset until both he and House begin feeling agonizing leg pain, and a realization dawning from it causes Wilson’s entire life and well-being to change forever.

I’m always looking for new Fics so if there’s a fic you think is missing from this list, let me know and I’ll check it out!

[fanofstuff01]

HERE I AM! Here I am with a little writing of mine!

Before we get started, this AU belongs to @woah-why-i-am-here and they have pretty cool drawings about it. GO CHECK IT OUT!

Considering the show itself is 16+, this is aswell, know it then read this, also it has Valentino.

DEAR TUMBLR! PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS DOWN!

A little summary: Adam fell to hell, needed money, and Valentino was the only one hired him. He owned his soul, and it was too late when Adam realized what he agreed to work on. He is one of Valentino’s top whores now. And of course, Adam and Angel met, in fact, more than ‘met’. Their films sure sell a lot. They slowly become friends and Angel convinces Adam to come to the hotel. This is after these happened. Also not shipping Angel x Adam.

ENJOY! (Also since you love holydust @rius-cave , tagging you!)

“And cut!” Valentino said proudly, ending the scene. “One hour break and we’re here till 8!”

Adam panted as he tried to collect his mind. He slowly backed away from the fish demon gal, wore his robes back and got up to go to his dressing room. This was the third demon he was on top of that day, and sure enough she was not gonna be the last. Today was gonna suck. Val was planning to work on eight fucking movies, not to mention six of them were gay and two of them were with Angel. He was glad the one-hour break came.

“Addie~” He heard someone behind him and felt that certain ‘someone’ gripping his shoulders.

Valentino. Awesome. Just who he needed.

He attempted to not show the fear and hatred he felt to his face and mask. Too bad the fucking thing was programmed to show every emotion on his face, and sometimes they didn’t even needed to be on his face, him feeling them was enough. Angel had a -probably true- theory about it, he thought that it was ‘connected’ to his brain when he wore it. Adam was already regretting that he put the “I will only work with a mask” in his contract. He didn’t like the idea of showing his face on films, but this was much worse. He couldn’t fucking took it off till his shift ended!

“Yes, Val?” He asked, trying to avoid the movements he was doing to his chest. Yes, prick? he corrected himself in his brain.

“You were so, so good in the last one, babe” he chuckled.

“Thank you, Valentino.”

“Go ahead. Rest, baby.” He thought he was gonna leave him, but instead, he leaned in and kissed his cheek, completely disgusting the sinner. He didn’t flinch or resist though, he knew what’d happen if he did. “Oh, I can’t wait to see you and Angie on stage together.” he let out another one of his creepy chuckles and finally let the first man go. Adam almost runned to his dressing room, closed the door behind him and threw himself on the couch.

“Fuuck.” He groaned and tried to grab his wine bottle without getting up.

“Adam?” A familiar voice came from outside.

“Door isn’t locked!” He yelled.

“Hey, dickmaster.” A pink spider demon came inside and sat down beside him, tilted his head back and watched as the demon managed to grab the bottle and drank it without standing up, like his life depended on it.

“Y’know you can choke yourself doin’ that, right?”

“Meh, who the fuck cares.” He get up dazedly and looked inside the bottle with one of his eyes.

“I don’t recommend dying on work hours, Val punishes the ones who do.”

“Unholy shit, that actually happened?!” Adam asked, his pupil-les eyes went wide.

“I saw three accidents.” Angel shrugged. “Any left for me?”

“Sorry, I guess that bitch camera guy sneaked up here again and stole my stash.”

“It’s fine. Wanna eat your food? We’re gonna need energy.” Angel asked and took out two containers out of his bag. “I made lasagna yesterday.”

“Oh, you bet I do then.” He smirked and took his own. Angel knew the best ways to make it.

They chatted together until their break ended.

“Adam! Get your ass here or there will be consequences!” A little window appeared in Adam’s mask, almost like a pop-up ad. It was their costume designer. “And bring Angel with you!”

“Fine, fine! Ugh.” He groaned, swiped the page to make it dissapear and get up. “Who’s idea was putting this shit on this again?” He mumbled to himself. “Let’s go cocksucker, we have another job to do.”

HOW IS IT!?

By the way, Adam’s mask in this is practically based on his original mask, a Voxtech product just for Adam. Like Vox’s screen, it’s like a screen-face.

I’ll continue this

[steddieas-shegoes]

frankie

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'freak'

rated t | 930 words | cw: temporary character death | tags: canon-adjacent events, frankie pov, eddie munson lives

🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴

Frankie doesn't think he's a freak. He knows he's not the typical teenager, but he definitely knows there's weirder dudes out there.

Take Eddie Munson, for example. He's fuckin' weird.

He knows people call him a freak for a lot of reasons: he's got long hair, likes heavy metal, plays DnD, and is allegedly queer.

Frankie stays under the radar as much as possible, but he ends up at Eddie's table, sitting next to his one and only friend, Jeff. Eddie's starting a DnD club, needs people who are serious about playing long campaigns. He's a senior and "wants to leave a legacy."

Jeff convinces him to try it out.

He tries it out.

He has fun.

He becomes a freak, too.

And, actually, Eddie isn't really a freak. He's eccentric, sure, but he's definitely not what everyone implies when they call him that.

He's kind in his own way, inviting to people where most other kids at school have their cliques and don't let anyone else in. He's funny, too, sometimes completely unintentionally.

His Uncle is nice enough to let them use their trailer for campaigns, at least until Eddie is able to convince the school to let them use the storage room in the auditorium. They have to fight for space, especially when it comes time for the end of year drama club performance.

Frankie doesn't think much about what will happen when Eddie graduates. He assumed Jeff will run the club since he's Eddie's right hand man.

But Eddie doesn't graduate.

Frankie starts to get into the same music as him, no longer worried about wearing his Black Sabbath shirt to school. It's just music.

He doesn't worry about shaving his head, letting his natural curls grow out a little.

Maybe he's more of a freak than he thought, but it doesn't bother him when he hears others whisper it under their breath. Eddie wears it like a badge of honor, and now he does too.

****

When the news reports that Eddie is the suspect in the murder of Chrissy Cunningham, Frankie knows they've got it wrong.

Eddie is a lot of things, he's a freak, he's different. But he's not a murderer.

He's also gay as fuck, and while very few people know that, Frankie knows he had no intentions with that girl other than to sell to her. Maybe he should have been more careful, but he's gotten away with it this long. Eddie never pushes anything on anyone, only sells to those who seek him out, so there's no way she wasn't the one who wanted drugs.

It seemed to Frankie like a wrong place, wrong time situation for all involved.

Eddie was missing, which means he got scared and ran, and Frankie isn't sure what that means for any of them.

Everything is hanging in a weird balance for days.

Gareth swears he saw him in an RV when his parents dragged him to The War Zone, but no one believed him. Frankie didn't not believe him, he just figured Eddie was probably already out of the state.

Guilty people may run, but so do innocent people with a bounty on their head.

***

Frankie doesn't think Eddie is coming back.

He sees Dustin crying and handing Wayne something. He sees Steve Harrington of all people in Eddie's vest, a vest that now has some suspicious stains on it.

No one mentions him for a while.

Gareth is a mess, and Jeff keeps saying that he'll come back, but the news spreads that he's dead and Frankie feels like he's the only one who is taking that seriously. He doesn't realize how much he's hurting until they're standing in Jeff's garage with no idea how to fill the space Eddie left in the band.

"I think we should have auditions," Jeff says quietly.

"I think you should fuck yourself," Gareth bites back.

Jeff sighs. Gareth crosses his arms.

"I think you guys should come with me," Lucas interrupts from the driveway.

They go with him because Frankie is sure he wouldn't have even spoken to them if it wasn't important. They barely talked since everything happened over Spring Break, but now that school's starting up again, they'll need to figure out Hellfire Club.

He leads them out of the neighborhood and towards the neighborhood at the bottom of the hill: Loch Nora. The nice neighborhood.

It's hot and Frankie and Gareth are both sweating by the time they make it to their destination: Steve Harrington's house.

"You guys can't say shit to anyone, got it? You'll put us all at risk." Lucas is glaring at all of them as he knocks in a very specific pattern on the front door.

"Are you leading us to our deaths?" Frankie asks, only half-joking.

"Despite what Mayfield thinks, I'm not gonna kill anyone."

"Eddie!" Gareth yells as he runs past Frankie and Jeff into the house.

"Alright, keep it down." Steve says from the couch. "Neighbors don't need to know he's hiding out here."

"Holy shit, it's good to see you," Jeff finally says as it registers that Eddie is actually in front of them.

"You know, I was prepared to take on the role of freak," Frankie said quietly. "Just to protect all your sheepies."

Eddie smiled at him. "Yeah?"

Frankie nodded.

"Well, you still can. I'm not gonna go back to school anyway."

"So what will you do?" Frankie asked.

"Not sure," Eddie shrugged. "Teach you my ways, I guess."

Frankie smiled at him. "First lesson: how'd you come back from the dead, dude?"

[patchofgrey]

Welcome to Part One of my head cannons for my OTP:

Nejiten Head cannons; Part two , Part 3

Tenten Head Cannons | Neji Head Cannons | Nejiten Family Head cannons

I have a few head cannons for these two that I wanna throw out there; Writing these two for like 10 years has made me realized that no matter what situation they are in (if writing in character) they are the idealistic couple. Sure, they argue and fumble the bag sometimes, but their dynamic is FIERCE. You cannot tell me that his most trusted friend, partner, and balanced scale IS NOT IDEAL? These are my head cannons that I base my stories on while writing them in character (which took a long time to do honestly, writing in character with characters who are not fully developed is hard as fuck. But you take whatever crumbs you get.)

Plus, I would’ve changed a bunch of things in this anime but that’s besides the point

😤

Follow me on my delulu because it’s the only solulu:

1. Neji started liking Tenten prior to the second round fights of the chunnin exams. It started as admiring her skills, but grew to an emotional level as time went on. He asked her specifically to train with him because he felt that she was able to keep up and offer him a challenge in a realm he was not skilled in; weapon handling and evasion. This is going off of the fact that in one of the video games, Tenten had beat both Neji and Lee in evasion training, which in my mind, means that Neji saw Tenten for her skills and held her in very high regard even if she got clapped by Temari (which he didn’t fault her for! It was a bad match up). While they trained, Tenten would push conversation with him to the point where they started talking about their personal lives and led to Tenten finding out about the curse mark, his father, and his blind spot. Tenten had shared her deep insecurities about never being able to match up to them, or to be good enough to be like Lady Tsunade (especially after she fumbled the medical ninja training). To that, Neji ensured her that she was a great match up to himself and Lee; which is why he asked her to help train him in the first place. Since then, Neji has made it his priority to ensure that Tenten did not fall into a deep depression and would always praise her with the “you are good enough as you are.” He would shower her with subtle affection by buying her sweets when she was in a bad mood and spending some of his days off with her. In fact, it wasn’t until Gai-sensei had pointed out that Neji was attached to her, and was doting on her to make sure she kept a smile on her face. Neji would roll his eyes (as most 13-14 whatever’s they were) but kept at it well into their late teens.

2. Tenten is oblivious as fuck to Neji’s affection. I used this a lot in my Sleepless Nights fic, and sprinkled it in for some oneshots as well as hinted at it in Frequency. Tenten is an over thinker and can get inside her own head very easily. She thinks Neji is just being a good friend; arguably, she considers him a best friend since they are with each other all the time. She’s been so focused on her work that she never even considered the possibility that Neji liked her in anything past a friend. To be fair, Neji doesn’t seem like the type to make it obvious when he likes someone. And we’re about to get into that…

3. Neji is awkward as hell when it comes to anything emotion related but his love languages are Acts of Service and Gift Giving. Neji is alright with quality time, but he is a protector before anything else. I see Neji more as a “how can I help?” Or “Let me know if you need me.” He probably also gets snapped at by Tenten when he instinctively helps her and does things for her without asking if she needs help. She very much “I can do it myself” type of girl. Like I said before, he dotes on Tenten by buying her sweets and things she likes, I wouldn’t be surprised if he followed her around different weapons shops while they were on missions and helping her add to her enormous weapons collection. We also saw the acts of service come out of him when he shadowed Hinata (which was really sweet honestly. It showed his softer side and he maybe felt a bit guilty for treating her like garbage after his father died and was trying to make it up to her).

4. Tenten started realizing her feelings when they retook the chunnin exams. C’mon we all saw the look on home girl’s face when Fuu grabbed Neji’s hand and asked him to be her friend. It screamed LET GO OF MY MAN. Tenten hasn’t seen or experienced Neji interacting with other girls besides herself and Hinata (excluding Sakura and Ino who they were all friends with, but only interacted with on occasion). She didn’t like the idea of Neji getting attention from other girls.

5. Both are the jealous type. I know, I didn’t think Neji would be either, but it makes sense to me; Why would she be with anyone else other than him? Was he not her best friend? Who they shared all their deep dark feelings and secrets with? How dare someone else look at her partner in such a way? How dare they talk to her like that in front of him! For Tenten I don’t see it running extremely deep, but maybe a touch of it like stated above.

6. Lee was in on it. He absolutely knew. There’s no way Lee is so oblivious to his rival’s feelings. Especially since Gai has VERY loose lips. I wouldn’t be surprised it Lee was there when Gai had pointed out Neji’s affections for Tenten when they were gennin. Lee wanted them to be together and wanted to see them happy; Neji found comfort in knowing Tenten was alright. Tenten found comfort in Neji by trusting him with her feelings and not being harshly judged for it. I can see Lee purposefully hanging back and watching the two of them spar.

7. Neji only genuinely smiles around Tenten. Sure, he would offer a small smile of a smirk most of the time. But, around her he can actually pull his guard down and feel happy. He does offer small smiles and half smiles around Hinata and Naruto, however those big cheesing moments are usually kept in the presence of his bunheadded teammate.

8. Neji struggles to keep his feelings towards Tenten in check. He feels as though he doesn’t want to ruin their deeply rooted friendship and tends to keep a straight face when they are with a group. Tenten-again being oblivious- thinks he is just being an egotistical jerk around everyone when he’s not really like that when they are alone. He keeps some physical distance towards her as well unless they are fighting together, to prevent any mistakes and obvious signs of his affections. Perhaps he’s not into PDA either.

9. They argue. A lot. But it never ends in them feeling unheard or disrespected; these two have strong personalities and are very opinionated anyway.

10. Neji confided in Hinata about his feelings on Tenten, and Hinata promised to keep it a secret. (more on that in part 2 of my headcannons)

11. Neji tries to encourage Tenten to use her Taijutsu skills for close combat more. There’s a post circulating right now about how Tenten’s close combat abilities surpassed everyone but her team’s. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tenten felt discouraged by the fact that both boys on her team were already close range fighters and struggled with her gifts of long range fighting; she overthinks and puts herself into a box. Neji probably has attempted to strictly train with her (think Shippuuden…17-18 years old?) on her taijustu so she could gain some confidence. In fact, he has brought up to her that she would have beat Temari years ago if she would’ve show cases her taijustu abilities.

12. Their fighting style is more like a dance in flow. Tenten is very flexible and since her and Neji have been training since they were gennin, it would only make sense that they are so insynch with each other it almost look graceful.

I have more but imma stop there lol. I have ideas on how they first kissed, slept with each other all that stuff; how he would’ve proposed; It’ll be a very long post especially if I get into the whole “if Neji survived the war” which I do have a fanfiction on right now 👀 look at my pinned post for the link.

Thank you for joining me in my delulu 🫡 Here's part two, and Part three

[avonne-writes]

I’d love your thoughts on gales relationship w his father in any of ur modern AUs + how John reacts to/fits into it!!

Thank you so much ❤️ Great question! I will describe their relationship in the high school AU, because the others are not yet defined in my head.

In the HS AU:

Gale's dad is often drunk or at a bar in the evening and gets home in the middle of the night

If he’s drunk at home, he keeps Gale up, if he gets home at night, he wakes him up by being too loud

So Gale has sleep problems. Because of this, he sleeps at Bucky’s as often as possible, which usually means every weekend and sometimes during the week too

When Gale’s dad has a bad night gambling, he gets verbally aggressive, berates Gale and his mom, blames them for bad luck etc. Bucky told Gale to call him even during the night if this happens. Gale never does, but the thought that he could feels really comforting to him.

Gale's dad isn’t overtly homophobic and he doesn’t threaten Gale for being gay. But all Gale's life, he has been saying stuff about what a real man should look like and how he should behave. The older Gale gets, the more he disagrees with the man’s ideas. This is why he grows out his hair.

A few times, Gale’s dad hit him when drunk. Bucky helped hide the bruises with his mom's make-up.

Gale asks his mom to get a divorce multiple times, but she's always torn about it and if she tells Gale's dad she's going through with it, the man sobers up for a while and acts all nice and decent to keep them.

When he starts drinking again after a nice period, Gale goes to Bucky and just lies in complete, silent defeat in his embrace.

He tells Bucky he’s moving out as soon as possible and will never go back.

None of their friends know about all this, they just know he fights with his parents and spends a lot of time hanging out at Bucky’s place.

He goes to the school psychologist every week, and Bucky always waits for him, often kicking a soccer ball around in the schoolyard. If Gale had a session that shook him / left him drained, he sits on a bench and Bucky shows him tricks with the ball and plays around until Gale smiles again.

Gale's parents almost never attend school events / swim meets / competitions.

Gale's mom is so caught up in her own struggles that she uses him as a crutch too in dealing with his dad. Gale is used to taking this responsibility on his shoulders but as he gets older, and especially after meeting Bucky's mom, he realizes that this is not how it should be and he grows resentful. It’s perhaps unfair but he resents her more than his dad and then feels guilty for it.

Gale loves Bucky's mom and she loves him too. One day, when he has a crisis, she tells her that she'll always be there for him, even if he and Bucky break up.

Bucky's mom is a single parent and is away a lot due to work (which feeds into one of Bucky's problems, but that's a different story). But she's laidback about a lot of things and doesn’t try to hold Bucky back from exploring, so it's not really an issue when they start having sex. There’s none of that bullshit "open door policy".

Gale categorically refuses to take Bucky home with him. They've been dating for like two years or something already when he lets Bucky enter the house with him for the first time.

By the time this happens, Bucky is taller than Gale's dad. He’s gangly but he’s not intimidated by the man. Him being all protective actually makes Gale feel a mix of affection and arousal.

There’s definitely an altercation between Bucky and Gale's dad at one point, possibly close to graduation, but Bucky disengages when he realizes that it makes Gale upset.

Bucky helps Gale learn how to relax and enjoy things. Gale reassures Bucky that Gale is someone he can always count on and who won't abandon him.

[wannabanauthor]

Sometimes I think about how Buck waited two weeks to call Tommy

And ask for a tour, then was jealous that Eddie and Tommy had been hanging out the entire time.

Like, sir, you too could have hung out with Tommy a lot sooner. Did you see the way he smiled at you when you put your hand on his shoulder? Or the reciprocal touch after you walked away.

That's probably why Tommy was studying him so hard during the tour. The cute firefighter had seemed into him after the rescue but then waited 2 whole weeks to actually contact him.

That whole tour Tommy was trying to get a read on Buck and to slightly urge him into confessing the real reason why he was there. Little did Tommy know that he himself was the reason Buck wanted the tour.

Also, why didn't Buck follow up with Tommy about that beer the day after the Vegas fight? Anytime between the tour and the basketball game, he could have simply reached out to Tommy and say "Hey, want to hang out?" It worked for Eddie.

Buck wanted Tommy's attention so badly that he went the introvert approach "let him come to me and make the first move because I cannot possibly do it even though I invite guys to hang out with me all the time".

You know what? Now I need a fic of Buck actually trying to hang out with Tommy after the Bathena rescue. I want to see Buck essentially date a man without knowing he's dating a man. Then meanwhile Tommy is a mess on the inside because this guy keeps asking him out but doesn't make a move.

Then maybe one time, Tommy takes Buck to a gay bar, but Buck is Buck, and doesn't realize it or doesn't think it's strange because he's an "ally". Until a hot guy flirts with Tommy, and Buck's instinct is to "protect his friend from unsavory characters" so he kisses Tommy in a fake dating way to get the strange guy to leave them alone.

But only problem is that Buck realizes he liked the kiss. He really liked the kiss. And he sees the same emotion in Tommy's eyes, and doesn't know how to deal, so he goes outside to get air.

And Tommy thinks he's fucked up, so he goes outside and apologizes to Buck for putting him in this situation in the first place because he was trying so hard to get a read on Buck because he was getting mixed signals but also didn't mean to push Buck into territorial kissing him.

And Buck is like "no no homo, I'm an ally" with the fist pump, and Tommy thinks he's adorable and wants to kiss him again, but he stops himself, but he's so close that Buck can't help himself and pulls Tommy in for another kiss.

[billthedrake]

TRAINING THE SALES GUY (PART SIX)

Previous chapters here: https://www.gaydemon.com/stories/Training_the_Sales_Guy_42206.html

I was supposed to be the one training my co-worker Carson, but the next business trip was more the other way around.

"The Dream Team is back," he said when I showed up at the gate area of the airport. Carson always got there early, and I always cut it close. He looked like a million bucks, in his slim-cut suit and neatly trimmed hair cut and beard. I knew things were just a sex-buddy dynamic between us, and that we were coworkers first. And Carson Wells had a bro-ish personality that was good in small doses but got on my nerves sometimes. But if the dude was gay I'd probably be getting more than a little crushed out on him.

"You probably say that to the other account execs," I teased as I took a sip of coffee.

Maybe that was a pissy thing to say and Carson would read some jealousy into it. But he just smiled back and laughed. "I forgot how cranky you are in the morning, Boss."

Those baby blues and that flirty disposition was making me wonder how good I was at maintaining my defenses and boundaries.

"It's why I'm single, Wells." I figured some self-deprecating humor would help.

"I doubt that," he said with surprising sincerity. "You just got off your game, Boss. When was the last time you went on a date?"

Maybe Carson had an ulterior motive for asking. A way of saying that nothing romantic or permanent was going to develop between us. But his tone was natural, on the level. I realized that he probably talks this way to his bro buddies in the office, and this was his way of including me in that work-friend category.

I sat down next to him. "About two months ago. When was your last date, Wells?"

He flashed his pearly white smile. "Had two last week, Boss. Different chicks.... it's a lot of effort, but I enjoy the hunt, you know?"

"I get that," I said. I'd been like that when I was in my 20s. But after the divorce, I'd had fun with more casual sex but found the process of using apps a fucking chore.

As we drifted into small talk, and then lined up to board the flight, a deep part of me hoped Carson wasn't so successful at his dating that he'd cut me off entirely. Then another part of me hoped for that very thing.

****

We were all business that day. Carson was particularly focused on our presentation. He was normally in the zone on our sales calls, but that day he was nervous I could tell. It was a huge prospective client, and it would mean a fat commission for Wells. It was getting to him.

I pulled him aside during a quick break an hour and a half in. "Relax, buddy," I said. "We got this."

I could see the tension in his handsome face. "Yeah?" Not believing me but appreciative of my forced confidence.

I shrugged. "It's a like a date. You can't want her too much, or it's all fucked up."

Hell, I didn't know how straight guys dated, but the advice seemed to work. "Yeah," he said.

We did good but not great. It might not matter, depending on what the company wanted. I wasn't going to sweat it. We'd come in and done our part. The rest was out of our hands.

And Carson was back in fine form over the dinner. We'd taken a number of the contacts out to a nice steak restaurant, and Wells was in classic sales guy mode. Chatty but not too chatty, able to engage with everyone at the table, comfortable in mixing business with pleasure.

And he was in a good mood after, as we got back to our hotel.

"Wanna come to my room, Boss?" he asked.

I wasn't expecting this. It had been a long day. And if it had been anyone other than Carson I might have even begged off getting my cock sucked.

"Sounds great, Wells," I said.

We wheeled our luggage to the elevator, and I think we both had smirks on our faces as we rode up.

"I guess we're getting more comfortable with this," Carson said, speaking the very thought I was thinking.

I nodded. "If you ever don't feel comfortable, Carson, please let me know." I'd gone too far in this affair to be safe from HR consequences, but at least I wanted to give Carson an out any time he felt like it.

He laughed. I expected him to make a crack about uptight Bill, but instead he said, "It's crazy. I knew I liked sucking dick, but you got me into the other stuff, Boss... I even watch the videos you sent."

Indeed I'd discovered a new Pornhub guy with a very minimal gag reflex and no inhibitions about working the one he had.

I was getting turned on, surprisingly by Carson's candor as much as anything. "Well it's really hot to experience your skills," I said, my voice almost cracking into a whisper.

The elevator dinged and we wheeled our bags down the hall. Carson tapped his key card and we entered.

"Um, Carson... can I ask you something?" I started. "What makes you like it?" I'd been afraid to ask. Afraid I'd spook this straight guy with a major bi streak.

He'd clearly been asking himself the same question. "I dunno, Boss... it's just... when you use my throat, it's like I'm not the one who needs dick, you're just feeding it to me."

I didn't quite follow. "You afraid of being gay, Carson?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I'm not gay, thought maybe you don't believe me."

"I believe you," I replied. "But it doesn't matter if I do."

He took that in. "Yeah. I guess having a cock in my mouth always feels like the last thing I should be doing, and the taboo of it gets me off."

"The forbidden fruit thing is hot for me too," I said.

Carson's blue eyes twinkled in amusement. "Fuck yeah it is, Boss." He pulled out his phone and wallet and set them on the table. "I think the fact you're a fag..." he stopped himself. "Sorry boss... but I think that when your cock is in my mouth and it takes me to this fucked up place."

I didn't know what to make of it. But I was getting head from Carson more than I ever dreamed of, so I decided not to get pissed off. "Please don't get therapy, Carson," I joked. "At least not anytime soon."

That made the guy laugh. He's so fucking sexy when he laughs. "Don't worry, Boss."

With that he knelt down in front of me. I was already hard and Carson's touch at my crotch made me harder. He teased and massaged my ridge in my suit pants, then pulled my zipper down.

"OK if we start with some old-fashioned head?" he asked.

"Yeah," I croaked. "More than OK." I'd been enjoying the more extreme throat training lately, but a standard Carson Wells BJ was always gonna get me off big.

He licked my dick up and down, before pulling back. "You mad at me for what I said?" he asked.

I nodded. "A little, yeah." I figured I should be honest. "But I'm not gonna stay mad at you, Carson. Just don't call me that again. You can think it or whatever."

"Yeah," he sighed. He was genuinely contrite. He seemed to be taking in my cock with his hungry eyes, examining my length and girth.

Then, slowly he opened his mouth and descended on me.

"Oh fuck!" I hissed. Carson's mouth felt great. I knew I'd spend the next day wondering if these blowjobs were keeping me from finding a boyfriend, even a casual one. Carson Wells had gone from top 5 in his oral skills to top cocksucker in my life experience, period. The best I'd ever have, I knew.

I looked down as he blew me. His hunky body in his navy suit, head bobbing up and down. I could hear the spit and the suction around my prick and the rhythmic soft moans from this throat. He was working himself deeper on my pole, working up to a deep throat. Not fast but steady, knowing what he was doing. He was getting me to that place, fast, that build up of pleasure, and then it was like his mouth and throat was gonna milk the load out of my balls.

Only he pulled off instantly and gripped the base of my prick, pinching it slightly. "Goddamn, you're worked up tonight, Boss."

"Jesus, Wells," I exclaimed.

My excitement made him smile. "See? Sometimes it's better not to have to go all hardcore and shit." He let go of my dong and started tonguing the bottom half of the shaft. With anyone else, it might look slutty, but I knew Carson was mostly trying to let me enjoy this without blowing too soon. It worked, sort of.

There was a clear excitement for him, too, as he looked up at me, hands on his trousers, gym-toned chest showing between the spread lapels of his coat. Unlike me, he wasn't wearing a tie but instead rocking that more millennial business-bro look. It suited him.

"Thanks for letting me initiate this, Boss," he said softly. "I don't know if I'd like it the other way."

In my head our affair wasn't one-way, but I knew what Carson meant. "You do a lot for me, Wells... I want you comfortable with it."

He nodded. He reached down and fiddled with his zipper and belt. Often he didn't like jerking, and I think he was shy of letting me see his dick. But Carson was pulling it out now and wrapping his fist around it just as he leaned back forward.

"MMMmmh," he moaned around my prick as he swallowed me. He'd gotten warmed up already so now was just a skilled, silky deep throating. Up and down, six, seven inches at a time. Almost bouncing. Carson was driving his blowjob but he was abusing his throat all on his own. Deep throating me, faster and faster, till he was spearing his gullet with rhythmic gutteral sounds.

"God yes," I hissed. Watching him do a sword swallowing thing like a pro.

I heard the gurgle of a gag on one down stroke then that familiar mucusy slickness on my meat, dripping out of Carson's mouth and onto my balls. That did it for me.

"Shit!" I muttered. And I was cumming down Wells' throat.

He slowed his mouth strokes just enough to be able to swallow my semen comfortably. And as he rode out the aftershocks of my orgasm, he stroked himself to completion.

Carson finally pulled back, a flush look of sexual satisfaction on his face, which must have matched mine.

"Thanks you, Wells.... you outdid yourself." I wanted to give him every compliment I could.

He smirked. "Yeah, I've been wanting to try that, Boss." He looked down at his hand. It was covered in his own jizz. Carson shoots a lot. He got up off his knees, holding his hand out to keep the dripping load from getting on his suit. I'd have to get mine cleaned, but it would be worth it.

He wiped off then offered me the Kleenex box. I used a couple to handle the spit and throat slime. There were some cum dribbles too but Carson took care of most of those. I tucked back in and sighed.

"We good, Wells?" I asked.

His green eyes met mine. "Yeah, we're good."

I wanted to kiss him bad. But that wasn't in the cards. So I grabbed my luggage and gave Carson one last nod before walking out of his room and over to mine.

As I got ready for bed, I thought over the evening. Sometimes I had real misgivings about fooling around with my straight-ish coworker. But that night I had none. The sex was hot as hell.

****

"You up?" came the text bright and early the next morning.

I was up, but barely. It was pretty early. "Yes. Still on East Coast time."

"Can I come by?"

My morning wood throbbed. "Sure."

Fuck, this was too easy. Wells was going to make me look forward to business travel all right.

I wasn't decent when he showed up a minute later. But that didn't matter. Carson had on only a pair of gym shorts and athletic shirt. The shorts didn't hide a thick boner.

"Hey," he said, morning voice making him sound deeper.

I ushered him in. "Hey," I laughed. It was a little absurd how carried away we were getting. But Carson's body was looking really fucking good in those clothes.

"I was jerking off and I thought the hair of the dog might be in order."

I smiled. I was now self conscious that Carson noticed the boner in my underwear. "I'm surprised I have anything left in the tanks after last night. You drained me, buddy."

Wells had a slightly nervous look on his face now. "You not up for it?" he asked.

"I'm very up for it," I replied.

I took the initiative and peeled down my briefs. By now Wells had seen my cock a lot but I wasn't sure how often I was completely naked.

The man's eyes were pretty much on my dick though, till he took them away and looked back up at me. "You OK if we try something new, Boss?"

"After last night... you can try out as much as you want," I said.

He grinned and peeled off his shirt. I'd never have a body that could compete with his, but that was OK. "I've been watching some videos. I guess they give me ideas."

My heart was pounding now. I wasn't expecting a two-fer on this trip. So it was a nice surprise. Particularly as Carson slid down his gym shorts. He was hard and I could see his dick still was covered in a lot of lube. I wondered how long the guy had been jerking off that morning.

My own bone twitched as I watched my coworker lie down on his back, settling in on the unmade bed, till his head lay just past the edge. I didn't need a diagram to know what he had in mind. I stepped up, hands on my hips and positioned my cock above his face.

Wasting no time, Carson leaned up, attacking my nuts with his tongue before I angled my prick to let him lick that. As he did, he jerked his cock, not fast, just enough to prime the pump during this foreplay ritual.

"Fuck, Boss, you have a great cock," he hissed. Hearing that was enough to make me spurt some precum on his chin and neck. Carson could tasted it was he licked his way to the head.

I swiveled my hips back to give him access. That tongue laved all around my head, slobbering it down. Carson wasn't shy about extra spit with me now and excess saliva dripped down his face.

"God fucking damn, Wells," I hissed as I watched the lewd sight.

He muttered something then more spit ran out just before he swallowed me.

The trick of being an oral top, particularly for the more extreme sucking, is knowing when you can take charge. Carson was ready. I reached down and pressed against his shoulder. To steady him but also to let him know I was coming in.

Wells grunted along my cock but was ready. I steadily speared his throat, from the inner part to the deeper reaches. He quickly stopped jerking and I realized it was to keep from coming. Wells was loving this shit.

I pulled back and thrust in again. And again. Wells' throat was snug and wet and alive. I don't know why we hadn't done this before, but we were doing it now.

I heard his soft grunts and felt his excitement as I steadily fucked his throat. Taking my hands off his shoulder, I leaned forward. That meant I couldn't watch his face and throat as easily, but the better thrusting angle made it worth while.

I just went for it. Not super rough, but steady firm thrusts deep into Carson's gullet in rapid succession. Figured I could stir the pot and see if I could get some nice slime.

It took a half minute, a half minute of watching Carson's dick jerk in excitement before I heard and felt it.

I stopped and withdrew. To give Wells a break and check in on him, but also to see that trophy. That milky mucus was thick around my bone but I didn't realize just how much there was until I pulled out completely and watched thick river of slime run down his handsome face.

"Fuck!" he gasped, chest rising and falling as he caught his breath.

"You OK, Wells?" I asked.

He was beet red and not opening his eyes but he grunted a yes. "Go for it, Boss."

I got back in place. Entry was easier this time. And as I fucked his face I heard the sloppy wet sloshing.

"Gonna cum..." I said.

That was the cue. He grabbed his own dick and jerked in rapid strokes.

We came together. My dick pumping its morning load straight into his guts as his own fired out. Like I say, Carson's a gusher, and I enjoyed watching several streaks of thick cum land on his muscular body.

I knew I had to give him a break now, and fast. I wasn't rough, but quickly I pulled out.

He sucked in some air while I went to get a washcloth for him. He seemed grateful for it and as he sat up he wiped his face down.

"Damn, Boss, you're hardcore."

I nodded. "I got news for you Wells, you're pretty hardcore yourself."

He finished wiping off and I took the cloth from him. It was only then that we felt self conscious being fully naked with one another.

Carson looked at the clock. "Well, I'm not getting my morning workout in, I guess," he said, acknowledging the time. We had about a half hour before we had to leave to the airport. "But fuck I was horny."

I gave a nod and watched Carson find his clothes.

"You're getting really good at this, Carson," I said. Not just complimenting him, but acknowledging that he was taking the throat abuse like a pro.

He pulled on his T shirt and flashed a grin. "I am, aren't I?"

"You doing anyone else?" I asked. I don't know why I did, but curiosity got the best of me.

He seemed offended though. "Would it bother you if I did?" he asked.

I shook my head and gave the best contrite expression I could. "Not at all. You're your own man, Wells. Just curious was all."

That seemed to put him at ease, but his voice was still quiet. "You're the only dude I suck, Boss."

"Cool," I said. I gave a pause. "I know this arrangement is weird as fuck, Wells. But anytime you offer head, I'm not gonna turn you down."

He liked that. "You'll find a boyfriend to focus on, Boss," he said. He'd bene thinking about that. "In the meantime, let's just have fun, OK?"

Dude actually fist bumped me on the way out of my hotel room.

***

Carson upgraded on the flight back, while I stayed in coach. I was glad not to have to make small talk. Still, I felt a strange elation when I got the news on my work phone as we landed. The decision was fast. We'd won the prospect as a client.

Carson was waiting for me at the gate in the terminal. "The Dream Team did it!" he growled, pulling me into a bear hug.

I hugged him back. "You're buying me drinks with that commission money, Wells."