#sometimes i'm a real blog

[remyfire]

Good for her.

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HER

okay i know this is a Foul Legacy blog but listen. if anyone wants to ask me questions about Arlecchino and my OC Marine i will be so happy to answer (they are MARRIED and i WILL answer in character if wanted because i'm that obsessed)

[thelaurenshippen]

genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

[inkskinned]

i've been in pretty much constant pain for the past 4 months. i have a slipped disc. the mri this weekend finally confirmed what i'd already suspected. mostly, i just put up with it.

i've been in a pretty bad mental space since winter began. my brain is leaking out from between my ears. i just don't care enough to listen to the rabid wet whispering of hope. i'm mostly just bored of being here, the swaddled joyless apathy.

the back pain ebbs and flows, but it's there, so i take care of it. i do my physical therapy. i get in with a specialist. i'm lucky - there's no immediate need for surgery. it's bad, but it could be worse. when i talk about how i did it (it was a very bad sneeze), i usually start laughing. it's funny! i am never comfortable, but hey. i'm young. i'll bounce back, or so they keep saying.

i just found out it's not normal to wake up every night with a category-five panic attack. i'm lucky if i am still able to remember how to spell my name right. i spend my days in a weird blank haze, exhausted, desperate for respite - only to be unable to rest during the night. i say with a laugh - i really hate it when my mental illnesses start working together. i mean, sure. unionize. it's fine. i have lost all sense of myself. there's nowhere that's actually warm in my mind.

i feel bad how often i complain about my back. my friends immediately shush my apology. dude, you slipped a disc. continue complaining.

as a kid, i think i only really admitted to the bad things... twice. for some reason, when he didn't just dismiss it - it made my dad angry. he slammed a door at me. you're fucking ungrateful. what do you have to be sad for?

what an odd delight: the slipped disc gave me the oddest wave of relief. i'm allowed to actually hurt about this thing.

i have chronic conditions which aren't "real" things. i could write a novel on the weird ways people respond to my POTS & the rest of my fun physical acronyms. i am kind of ashamed to admit - i like the way it feels to be able to say well, because of a slipped disc. a slipped disc is a real thing. a slipped disc is serious and painful. there's diagrams and infographics about slipped discs. upon my diagnosis, they immediately offered me narcotics.

i haven't been able to get up out of bed for more than a few hours. i do less and less and less and less. i have started to sit down in the shower. sighing my way from deadline to deadline. this again. in one day and out the other. people tell me i don't really need my meds. i have run out of times saying i have depression, it's become almost transparent. it's so bad my therapist suggested meeting more than once a week, but i don't want to worry her, so i never finish setting up a second meeting. every creative spark in my soul has been entirely ravaged - but that's just capitalism, baby. i don't even take the day off of work. i just show up and do a bad job and get yelled at for it.

it's not real, after all. the pain is just imagined.

[pigeonclaw]

Idk man. Not a fan of the theory / headcanon about Moonpaw hearing the voice of the sibling she absorbed in utero. That gets a little too close to "fetuses have souls" for me to feel comfortable around and I seriously hope that's not what's gonna happen. Chimerism doesn't make you into two people. It's not conjoined twins. She's just one cat made with two sets of genes. We don't have to get too weird about how bodies just naturally turn out sometimes. Idk.

[anghraine]

My best friend and I moved in together with his closest friend from his MA program, and while I had met her before (the friend; my bff is a man), we hadn't spent much time together because I've never lived away from the West Coast (and only two years out of the PNW) and she's never lived outside of North Carolina and only briefly visited the PNW once, when she went to Portland last year.

It's been a delight to show her around the PNW and realize we need to explain things that are just sort of omnipresent in our lives. The bff and I were casually griping with each other about having to run an errand to Trader Joe's at an inconvenient hour, and were telling her, "it's okay, you can stay in the car and avoid the people if you want" and she was like "NO I MUST SEE IT, I'VE ONLY HEARD OF THEM" and nearly ascended to another plane when we showed her around the store.

The bff and I grew up in the same town in NW Washington (him for his first 18 years, me from 9 to 19) and he lived in Bellingham and Seattle for years before he went to NC for grad school (I went to the SF Bay Area for mine, a very different experience). Both of them are hardcore coffee aficionados, but he struggled with the different Coffee Ways of the South, so for the true PNW experience they want to tour various indie coffeeshops next.

Also, she adores Kaidan in Mass Effect and we were like, oh, is your passport up to date? We could take a trip sometime and show you your boyfriend's beloved English Bay. It's very beautiful :)

her: O_O

me: Actually, it's worth going to Vancouver BC for its own sake as well, it's truly spectacular. We used to go all the time as kids.

bff: And Victoria!

her: O_O

[mysteryboy1249]

Finally went and watched Zero Tea Time and like, how is this man still functioning at all??? If we're to assume that Furuya sleeps about 2 hours a night regularly, I'm sorry but this man would in no way shape or form be able to do what he does. - Sincerely, someone who has legitimately slept 3AM to 5AM regularly for several months due to having pre-existing sleep issues and a job that started at an ungodly time.

Like, yes I get that I shouldn't be thinking too deeply since anime logic, but also on this same schedule I felt like I was about to die by week 3 and was essentially a human zombie with my mental health down the sink by week 6(and technically I was sleeping more than 2 hours since I would take some naps as well) so I have some strong feelings about this. Hell, there's no way this man would be able to keep track of what time it is let alone all his jobs and secrets with that amount of sleep. Even if we go under the assumption that he sleeps 3-4 or even 4-5 hours usually and the 2 hours was a special case this man would still not be able to make all those deductions and chase all those criminals. Sure you won't feel as shit, but you definitely will still be feeling quite shit.

No wonder this man depressed and insane with a sprinkling of anger issues and seems to be constantly lowkey disassociating in Zero Tea Time. Yes most of it is because he's the only one left and is horribly traumatized but also like Furuya, have you considered taking a nap? It doesn't solve the trauma, but give yourself 8-10 hours of proper sleep and you'll be waking up ready to take on god.

As a side note, are there fics where Furuya is severely sleep deprived and how that impacts him? Because so far I haven't seen any but I also don't usually go out of my way to find Furuya centered fics. Because if there isn't I'll write one myself, not enough chronic sleep deprivation rep round here in general. Mans mother hens everyone around him, he deserves someone to mother hen him back to force him to sleep because the world will not in fact end if he takes some time off.

[screentunes]

what the hell is blappel??

it's a state of being

[cannibal-wings]

I get an alert for an ask: oooooooh another ask??? I wonder what it's-

-oh. Uh, buddy, this blog is not what you think it is. The cannibalism is strictly fictional here.

[dirtyoldmanhole]

idbrain: .... what if gunter dakimakura

me: nO

idbrain: with 'venerable knight in the streets' on the front and 'daddy in the sheets' on the back :D

me: ......how many of my brain cells did you burn this time

idbrain: we could reframe that to 'father figure in the sheets'

me: [actually chokes on coffee]

[cerise-on-top]

saw you write for madness so i’m new! if its alright could i req sanford and deimos comforting their s/o after a breakdown?

if i req again i’ll probably be ⚡️ anon if it’s not taken. tysm + love ur writing!

Hey there! Yes you can! I hope I did the request justice! And no, I don't think that emoji is taken yet!

Sanford and Deimos Comforting Their S/O After a Breakdown

Sanford: The moment he sees you crying he’s rushing over to you to aid you in any way he can, crouching down to seem less intimidating and putting a hand on your shoulder to show you he’s there for you. He’s going to ask you a rushed and concerned “What’s wrong?” before intently listening to anything you have to say. Sanford will likely pull you into a tight hug. It won’t be crushing, he’ll actively try to be more gentle than that, but it will be tight enough for some air to leave your lungs. If you’re about to fall apart then he’ll hold you together. Although he knows that the worst of the worst might be over already, he’ll still hold you tight and be quiet for a moment, hoping that that will help you at least a little bit. Sanford isn’t one for distractions if he knows he can help you, so he’ll ask you what’s wrong and how he may be able to help you in that moment. If he’s unable to help you in any way shape or form he might feel as though he’s failed you if it’s particularly bad, but if you just need some cheering up then he’ll try. He’s very big on cuddling, so he’d love to hold you and cheer you up like that, if you allow it. However, if you’re not big on physical touch or just don’t want to be touched too much in that moment, then, once it’s not as obvious anymore that you broke down, he’ll go on a walk with you. The scenery may not be particularly nice, but it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing. He can be rather chatty, plus he’s a trustworthy guy, so you can tell him about anything you need to get off your chest. He’ll listen, he’ll give you advice, he’ll seek out revenge for you, anything you need. Will even cook a homemade meal for you if it cheers you up, and he’s a pretty good cook.

Deimos: He, too, will rush to your side and ask you what happened, if you need anything and if he can help you. Deimos’ approach to helping you consists of cheering you up by distracting you. He knows a few good jokes he can crack that might get you to smile, but he’s not opposed to listening to you either if you need it. Doesn’t have too much good advice to give that isn’t needlessly violent or chaotic, so you’re better off going to Sanford for that one. However, he’ll do what he can to get you to smile again. Hell, if you want, he’ll pay for some fast food as well. Fast food is always good and appropriate in his eyes, so why wouldn’t it be for you? Some good food always cheers him up when he’s upset, might work for you as well. He’s not the best with words in more dire situations, but he tries, although he really won’t know what to say. Yes, he prefers listening in those situations, even if he can be a real chatterbox otherwise. If his jokes don’t get you to smile, then his brain short circuits and he goes quiet. He actually goes more serious then as well. You can then proceed to talk to him about all that serious stuff and he’ll respond honestly. Might even open up about some of his own struggles to show you you’re not alone, that he can relate to you, if your struggles are similar. He’s really not trying to diminish your struggles, just wants to show you he cares. You will likely end up with an impromptu therapy session together where you both talk about your issues, but you will likely grow closer as a result. If he knows you’re okay with it, then he’ll wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer to him so that your head rests on his shoulder. You should really rest up for the day, he’ll make sure that tomorrow is a brighter, nicer place for you.

[pseudophan]

i just lost two followers and it's making me laugh because judging by my most recent posts i assume they were diehard royalists? or at least people holding the british royal family in an unusually high regard? cry about it i guess idk, i do find it funny that you give a fuck though

on this note though of my followers holding different beliefs than me - if you're a terf? please kill yourself! i don't usually give a fuck because i just don't have it in me to start a war with everyone i disagree with but like. truly. if you hold any kind of prejudice against trans people whatsoever. fuck off from my blog lol i don't want you here

[allgremlinart]

a few weeks ago I said I would NAWT be discussing natla in-depth or giving actual analysis but unfortunately I'm a huge liar and a weak, ridiculous person who is currently re-watching it to do just that....

[yasu-kun]

[askthestampedes]

REPORT OF THE DAY. Suffice to say, with health and being busy for varying reasons my activity has been lackluster everywhere.

I haven't drawn anything proper of Trigun in the last 5ish months and trying to find the energy to re-read and rewatch 98 has further put a pause on things. I'm slowly getting into the swing of things again however and I thank everyone for their patience!

I have a lot of asks sketched out and or almost finished and I have plans still to update my personal scar references so I hope everyone looks forward to more gradually 💖

[ghastigiggles]

IN THE MOST LIKE. /nm /npa WAY, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS WRONG OR NEGATIVELY

I’ve noticed that you tend to like …. ask us if it’s okay to do certain things? and like, that’s totally fine and acceptable, but … like. this is YOUR blog, it is whatever you want it to be, you can post whatever, and if people don’t like that then they can just ….. idk, unfollow lol?

if you want to keep a following, sure, then you are 100% free to do what makes you believe you will keep it, HOWEVER if you don’t mind, then you can just do what you want, right ?

you’re not here to entertain anybody if you don’t want to. it’s always your choice to make, and you deserve to have it

ah but you misunderstand. my self-worth is directly tied to the validation of whether people recieve my products well or not! /hj