#sometimes i forget working with the general public actually grates on my nerves in the worst way

[spiceworld1997]

i don't exactly know which facet of library studies i'm ""meant for"" quite yet but i am quickly learning it is not the type to sit at the reference desk all day and have people ask me to help them because yahoo mail isn't sending their reset password code to their phone. or to help them find a file in their usb drive because they can't remember what they named it and there's hundreds of files in there. or to tell an old man nearby to stop coughing because it's annoying them.

[excitedlysuffering]

Neji Headcanons Collection

Requested from my wattpad account

For everyone who has requested, I’m slowly getting through them, but I’ve been busy and exhausted lately so it’s taking longer than I wanted it to, I’m sorry!

What He Looks For In An S/O~

• Neji is a pretty stoic, introverted guy, so he’d need someone who was more on the introverted side as well. However, he would love an S/O who could bring him out of his shell a little

• He definitely seems like someone who would prefer to date a fellow shinobi so he didn’t have to worry about them and since they most likely aren’t apart of the Hyuga clan, them being a ninja would help his clan be a little more approving

• He needs a PATIENT S/O

• Neji is new to relationships and someone who understands that and wouldn’t rush him would be ideal

• Although Naruto changed Neji for the best, he can still be a little insensitive sometimes, so a partner who has a thick skin is important

• Neji hates small talk with a passion, so he would look for someone who could hold intellectual conversations or who didn’t mind silence

• As an introvert, Neji is something of a homebody, but make no mistake; this boy is always training so you’d best be ready for rigorous training being a regular past time

• COMMUNICATION is key in a relationship with him

• As smart as Neji is, he does not have the aptitude or patience to deal with mixed signals, so just talk to him, please

Relationship With Neji Stuff~

• Neji isn’t clingy by any means, but you’re his girlfriend and he expects to see you often, and will easily become concerned or upset if his partner starts to seem distant

• Trust is the most important thing to him, if he’s dating you he clearly trusts you A LOT, and it will upset him if he notices you don’t trust him as much

• Your relationship will most likely be lowkey, in public at least, but that’s not because he’s ashamed, he’s just an incredibly private person

• Although Neji will enjoy sparring with you, he will also be up to other ideas for dates

• He loves taking walks with you, whether it’s after dark, before average people are awake, or in the middle of the day

• He’s the kind of person to have a certain amount of time set aside for you, whether you spend it out and about, or inside, he won’t interrupt that time unless it’s unavoidable

• He’s very good at picking up your moods and such things, but he doesn’t always know what to do about them, so he’ll help you in ways he knows how tea and training

• He has a great memory. Whether it’s certain dates, the timing of your week, or little things he’s noticed about you; you can trust he won’t easily forget it

• PDA embarrasses him, but he will allow hand-holding and the occasional cheek kiss

• He takes so much pride in his hair, he won’t allow you to touch it until way later in your relationship, but once he does… he’d rather die than admit, so sometimes he’ll wordless put his head in your lap and scowl until you take the hint

• Neji doesn’t just date around, he’s looking for something serious, so if he realizes that you’re not what he’s looking for in a wife he will immediately (and respectfully) end it

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Generally, Neji is a very forgiving person since he’s needed to be forgiven many times, but there are some things he won’t tolerate; cheating, slander, and genuine disrespect

• An S/O being rude to someone for no reason would turn him off

• He really can’t stand gossipers and busybodies so if you want to lose him, go off I guess

• Laziness is a major thing for him. He can understand being tired of at your limit, but he really can’t handle his S/O just lazing around for a long time

• Immaturity is a big no-no. Neji comes from a clan who only recognizes maturity and formalities so he would be uncomfortable with an overly childish S/O

• Selfishness or being chronically inconsiderate can and will make him angry

• He won’t even entertain someone with bad hygiene like he really doesn’t understand how someone could be okay with not being clean?

• Incessant complaining and whining will grate on his nerves like anything else

• Not respecting his boundaries, even if you don’t understand them, will have him running for the hills before you could even say ‘Byakugan’

Soft Neji Things~

• Neji isn’t one for constant affection, but once he realizes how much he enjoys the lotus position (you sit in his lap, facing him, legs around his waist) it’ll be a regular occurrence. Whether he’s reading or just savoring your presence you’d better get used to it

• He loves to read and sometimes if you ask beg he’ll read to you and he has the smoothest most ASMR voice ever??

• He actually enjoys shopping with you because he loves helping you choose (and he likes to spoil you)

• I strongly believe that Neji plays an instrument (piano, flute or violin) and sometimes he’ll play for you

• If he’s had a really bad nightmare or his family is stressing him out, don’t be surprised if he climbs in your bed at a random hour of the night

• Locked doors or windows have never stopped this boy, so you’d best expect him to just walk in like he owns the place

• Considerate to the max, he’s always thinking about you and doing small things for you

• You actually bring out a new side to him, he’s more playful and free around you

Random Neji Facts~

• Neji made it into a game without your knowledge to see how many times he can scare you by just waltzing into your house

• He’s incredibly competitive, so the second you mention being the best at something, even in jest, prepare to have to prove it in competition

• His love language is in between quality time and acts of service

• He doesn’t really expect gifts or anything, so if you really want to see him light up, get him a little ‘I’m thinking about you’ gift

• Neji likes to journal, he likes to write down little things about his day, or ideas or even quotes that he heard and liked

• He really enjoys domestic activities because he didn’t really think he’d be able to find anyone to do that with

• He loves receiving and writing letters, it’s intimate and it’s special and he’ll keep everyone you send him

• Neji has a love/hate relationship with his hair; he’s very proud of it, but he hates all the extra work that goes into taking care of it

• He always carries extra scrunchies/rubberbands on missions in case his hair gets loose

• He gets sunburns so easily, he’ll always have sunscreen during the hottest months

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Your wrist pulse point; it’s intimate and it feels so natural for him, especially when he’s holding your hand

• Way to hug- He loves to place a hand on the back of your head and one on your back; he loves the feeling of being so close to you

• Things to do with you- He loves doing small things with you; reading, drinking tea, or cuddling

• Cuddle position- When he’s not busy, he loves to lay back on the couch with you on top

• Type of date- Lowkey ones, maybe a stroll through the park, or going to a nice little cafe/restaurant

This or That-

• He enjoys spring the most, he loves seeing all the new life after a long winter

• He’s a hardcore morning person, he lives to be productive and the day won’t wait for him to ‘get in the mood’

• He’s a good cook, but as I’ve mentioned, his love language is acts of service so you cooking for him means a lot to him every time

• Loves to read, either on his own or with you and his favorite genres are classics and nonfiction

Conflict Happenings~

• He has a very sharp tongue, but he really hates arguing with you and will try to avoid that for as long as possible

• However, if something needs to be addressed, he will not hesitate

• Would prefer to have a calm, rational, debate, so if either of you loses your cool, don’t be surprised if he just up and leaves

• However, if you say something that crosses the line… God/Pein/Jashin/Kami have mercy on you, this boy will go off

• After the fight is over, he’ll need space to calm down, but once he is, apologies and makeups are quick and sincere

• He refuses to fight over small insignificant things, he finds it beneath him

• He will listen, though, because if something is bothering you, that’s valid to him

• Don’t push him or test his limits, it’ll make him uneasy and feel like he can’t trust you, which can lead to your relationship self destructing

• After fights, whether big or small, he needs some good ol’ fashioned cuddles (you both do honestly)

• He’s a firm believer in not going to bed angry, so even if you’re still upset, he’ll do everything in his power to get rid of his own irritation

• It’s hard to hurt his feelings, but if you do he’s cut deeply, so watch what you say

Modern Neji~

• OMG this boy is one of those people that are always smartly dressed and no one can change my mind

• He’s not a teacher’s pet, per se, but he’s very polite and is always doing his best

• He’s one of those gym obsessed people, but very lowkey about it

• I could definitely see him into fencing and/or martial arts

• He’s the kind of person to only hang out with his closest friends because he feels most comfortable with them

• Most people would know he was from the esteemed Hyuga family, but no one would really process it because he’s not overly flashy and doesn’t really mention it

• He’s still pretty antisocial but after Naruto pretty much shoved his way into his life he started to open up

• Has so many fangirls and is always being asked on dates but is so confused, like why do these strangers always follow him? And who are these gifts from??

• I can really see a turf war between Neji’s fangirls and Sasuke’s fangirls over who’s better

• He most likely majors in business and finance to inherit the Hyuga company or at least have a fundamental role in it

• I think he’d like a roommate, especially if he lives off-campus

• I could see him living with someone like him so he’s not constantly overwhelmed by someone with Naruto’s personality

• Neji is always the model student and I could see him tutoring a few people (begrudgingly, of course)

• He’s always doing his best, but it might not seem like it? Neji is very good at retaining information, so the only time you’ll catch him really studying is if he knows he has trouble in that area

• His living space is meticulously clean and probably kinda bare

• He doesn’t really feel the need to decorate because it’s temporary, but if his roommate wants to he won’t care

• Neji is not a partier, but if his friends drag him to one he might stay for a while

• He’s such a lightweight and he might find himself drunk quicker than he thought possible

• Doesn’t have much of a hangover besides waking up disoriented and dizzy

• I love Neji honestly

Masterlist

[lronbear]

An anon asked me what my favorite aspects of Yuzu’s personality were, so I went off a little under the cut. Uh...sorry. All thoughts are my own.

Oh man. I'll answer this a bit differently than I usually would because I think a lot about how he has characteristics that /could/ generally be considered character flaws, but actually make him much more interesting and fascinating in my eyes. So I’ll skip some of the usual obvious reasons to love Mr. Extra, and dive a ‘lil deeper. 

1. (This is very biased since I don’t pay attention to other athletes as much as I do Yuzuru (yet), soz) His hyper-competitive, hyper-focused nature. Obviously you could argue that every athlete possesses it, but I feel like Hanyu takes it to a different level, very often. The headspace he gets into during 6 min warm up, (or the stance he takes when the final 6 skaters line up on the ice and his name gets announced, him raising his arms to the crowd with his head held high, but seemingly unaffected by the deafening cheers, eyes serious and even  dangerous in a way, out for nothing less than the gold), could be considered pretty scary, or to some (youtube comment sections are a gold mine) even rude and unnecessary. To me, those are some of the most intriguing and incredible moments to watch him, because that’s him, playing everyone, probably even himself, by creating an air of confidence that you cannot help but absolutely believe in. This unwillingness to show vulnerability or weakness, even if he may well be very vulnerable at that one moment or another, depending on whichever competition he's doing, because we all know better lol. He has an armor of steel and he knows exactly how to play his cards, he’s psychologically intimidating, as if all he has to do is flip a single switch in his head, whenever the situation demands it (rip dima who accidentally caught his eye at CoR lol poor bb). 

2. That brings me to my next point. His utter level of calculation and strategic thinking. I have a huge laugh everytime people, especially antis, underestimate him, physically but especially intellectually. Sometimes you look at him goofing off at practices or galas or him falling on his butt for absolutely no reason off ice, he’s our fave meme lord after all, but if you watch a single interview, you get reminded again what's really stored in that noggin of his. And it's astonishing if you consider this is a 23-you kid, and also that he's always been like this, on one level or another. It's pretty mindblowing how far ahead he is for his age, just on a human emotional scale, and how he takes time to gather his thoughts, to consider every side and aspect of a topic in his mind before he answers questions, how he tackles being the center of the media and an idol (he’s an athlete first, I am aware, but at this point it is undeniable that his public significance and position is exactly that of an idol/megastar) for an entire nation. That takes some nerves and endurance, i don’t know how he does it. As Javi said, his brain is pretty good. 

3. I love how unashamed he is about wanting and needing to be on top of his sport. He doesn't down-play it either. He will lift his finger into the air after a good skate and declare right then and there that he's won, even if he hasn't even seen his score yet. He is, in a way, a narcissist. And he loves it, too. He knows he is the best and he will be undefeated no matter what, if he delivers the skills he has trained so hard to possess over the course of his life, with all the obstacles that were and keep getting in his way. He will tell you to your face that he's better than you and will beat you next time if you beat him at a competition (rip pchiddy). He doesn't even hesitate. And people could and probably will call this arrogant or him being full of himself, but. That's never it. It's oddly, very humble and truthful, in my opinion. There is no actual hot-headed arrogance or greedy superiority there. It's simply a matter of fact. He can be a cocky bastard sometimes, oh yeah he can, don't get me wrong, but he Gets to be one. He’s earned it. And I actively celebrate when he is being a brat like that, not even gonna lie. He deserves to be. Where with most people this aura would probably bother me, with him, it makes him just more fascinating as the multi-layered person he is.

4. So then, in direct contrast to this, you also have the exact opposite of that  personality trait? The constant need to mention the masses of people that support him at all times. The fact he never forgets to mention that without the people watching, supporting and also competing alongside him, he would not be here, where he is right now. His soft tone when he speaks about Javier's influence on him, or when he literally had never ending face spasms and a skin breakout from nerves when Pl*shy praised him at CiONTU lol. The fact he doesn't neglect talking about the fans that cannot afford to see him live, including his international fans, everyone who supports him from home, he knows it and he publicly acknowledges it, because he cares. His deep, deep adoration for other athletes, or just people in general that try their best and work hard. His reverence, utter sadness and respect when he talks about 3/11 and how it impacted everything in his life, the ridiculously amazing amount of money and awareness he’s raised for the victims, the battle within himself afterwards, questioning if he’s “allowed” to keep chasing his own dream under the aspect of disaster striking so many people. His heartbreaking dedication to the sport itself, but also what he wants to express by skating (i.e. Requiem). The fact that he’s always stayed with both feet on the ground, and how he’s (outside of “competition-mode” on ice) always very soft, humble and grateful to others, and never ever acts superior or above others. His sportsmanship in general. The fact he cares so much about people. He overcomes obstacles that would have finished me 100 times over. He is so, so inspirational. His heart is golden. He claps his own thigh when he’s made an awful joke. He can’t walk properly when he’s off the ice. He’s obnoxiously perfectionist, which is so relatable. He’s a big old softie, that loves bear hugging like, everyone. His complete awareness of every single thing that carries meaning in his life and what got him to the place he is now, his will to overcome every hardship and come out stronger. So, so many aspects, so many layers. I love he.

[nilesarchives]

Awkward AF ― NOT CANON. (second verse: niles lite)

In which Nick and Miles made out while watching Titanic. Scout barked and scared Miles enough that he bit him. Gay panic ensued and they didn’t speak for an entire month, until Miles went back to retrieve Mario Kart.

An entire month had passed before Miles realized the terrible truth: he’d left Mario Kart at the Vaughns’ apartment when he spent the night with Murphy. He only came to the realization when he was ready to sit down and kick some ass by beating his own record times. He let out a groan and immediately texted Murphy that he was going to stop by and get it. On the way there, Miles prayed to God that Nick wasn’t home, and he knew there was a good chance of that. He was usually pretty good about knowing Nick’s schedule, since there were always specific times that he came back from work to thirty hilarious texts from Miles, which he never fully appreciated. Miles’s plan was simply to come in, grab his game, and leave to avoid an awkward situation. The door was unlocked, thankfully. He went straight toward the TV, crouching down and searching for the Mario Kart case. He swore it couldn’t have been more well-hidden; he couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there. Sure, he missed Murphy, and admittedly Nick, but tonight was not the night that he was ready to see him.

Although he could tell by the way some of the students stood around huffing angrily with each other that class being cancelled was probably not a good thing, Nick couldn’t help but silently be, to put it simply, relieved as fuck. Because sure, he loved his classes and it sucked to pay for something you’re not getting, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t nice to get a day off every now and again. Fully intending to pass out for a little while before he actually had to do things, Nick walked through the door that always seemed to be unlocked and began to kick off his shoes, only looking up once he was done. And then he immediately froze. He only saw his back at first, and he almost thought it was Murphy, but that was just wishful thinking on his part. For a moment, he paused, the silence way more awkward than it needed to be. “Heeey.” He let it draw out as he shook himself out of his momentary paralyzation and began to walk a few feet forward and into the room so he wasn’t just standing like an idiot for no reason in the middle of his apartment. “Murphy here?” He wasn’t sure why else he’d be here, since he knew he sure as hell wasn’t there to see him. And that was a nice way of asking something without sounding rude.

Miles didn’t think twice about the door opening. He assumed it was Murphy. “Dude, you didn’t have to freaking hide the game if you wanted it. Why the hell can’t I find it?” But when he didn’t immediately hear Murphy respond with a smartass comment or start cracking jokes, Miles realized he just really wanted it to be Murphy. There was silence behind him, and then Nick’s voice cut through it, making Miles’s heart stop for a second. Well, fuck. This was happening now. He slowly stood up, turning to face him. “Hey,” he replied, giving him a friendly nod. They hadn’t talked in weeks, and Miles didn’t know where to begin. “Uh, I don’t know, actually. I left something here a while ago so I–I asked him to leave the door open for me so I could come get it.” He bit down on the inside of his cheek. It had never been this hard to make conversation with Nick. “Why are you here?” he blurted without really thinking about how that sounded. He shook his head. “I mean—you’re usually not home around this time.”

It was weirder than he thought it would be to see him again. Not that it was something he really dwelled on, since he tried to put the whole thing out of his mind since he left Miles’s apartment the last time. Still, though, it didn’t take a genius to piece together that they’d both been avoiding each other since. And sure, they had to run into each other again sometime, but Nick hadn’t expected for that to be today. He should have stayed and pretended to care that class was canceled so he could have talked shit with the other students. But it was too late for that now. “Oh — yeah. Right.” He nodded; made sense.  “Did you find it? The thing you’re looking for.” He questioned as casually as he could muster. He was far from a stranger to awkward conversation. But having one with Miles wasn’t really something he was used to or prepared for. As he blurted out his question, Nick drew a blank, taken off guard by it for a moment before he gathered the words to answer. “I didn’t sleep much last night and thought I’d try to before work.” He tried to summon a friendly enough smile. “But class was canceled, if that’s what you meant.” He shrugged lightly from where he stood. “I think my teacher is hungover.“ Judging from the pictures she posted from her partying the night prior. Shoving his hands in his jacket pockets in order to toy with his keys in order to have something to do, he couldn’t help but ask the dreaded question, albeit hesitantly. “Does me being here bother you?”

Miles shook his head, glancing over his shoulder to where he’d previously been searching. “Nah, not yet. I’m convinced Murphy’s trying to hide it so he can keep it from me,” he joked, giving him a small smile. It wasn’t like Nick was some stranger he couldn’t or didn’t know how to talk to. It was silly to act that way. One awkward situation wasn’t enough to ruin years of friendship. Miles nodded at his response, trying to maintain eye contact so he didn’t seem like he was avoiding him. But Nick’s question had Miles looking down at his feet again, his face getting warm. “It’s your apartment,” he replied lamely. It didn’t necessarily bother him to see Nick, because he really had missed him and wished things could be normal again. But now, at the realization that things probably couldn’t go back to normal, he wondered if it was even worth it to keep avoiding the inevitable conversation at this point. “You know it’s not like that. You know what this is.” He looked up. “Are we just going to pretend it never happened? Or are we going to talk about it?” He didn’t exactly know what there was he could say about it, but it had confused the hell out of him, and he had a feeling Nick was in the same boat.

“I wouldn’t put it passed him. I’d check under his bed if I were you. He’s sneaky but I think there’s only so many hiding spots around here he can have.” A hint of a smile crossed his face, grateful for the joke even if in the long run Nick had to go and ruin it. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked it, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. As much and as often as he told himself it was nothing and that it’d blow over of they gave each other enough space, the second he saw him he couldn’t help but lose some of that confidence. They hadn’t talked since that night, and unfortunately he couldn’t read minds. That’d make talking with the general public a whole lot easier if he could. “That is what it says on the lease, yeah.” He conceded, slowly nodding in his direction. “But you’re in it right now, so. I don’t know.” He lifted his shoulder up in a half shrug. “Thought I should ask.” Because yeah, it kind of sucked having to avoid each other, but if him being there made him feel weird or something he’d rather him tell him so he could make up some reason to leave the apartment again. For a moment, Nick didn’t know what to say, standing there as his nerves began to get the best of him. Still, he’d try to be casual about it the best he could so that maybe they could talk normally again. “There’s really nothing to talk about, man.” He finally spoke, not quite believing his own words even as he said them. “It was a weird night, okay? We were both… drunk and probably tired or something.” He cut himself off before he started to ramble off too much on bullshit excuses. “It was an accident.” Nick’s words were a little more confident than his last. He hoped that’d convince the both of them. “And I just don’t want us to be… weird and shit about it now.” Because honestly, he kind of just wanted his friend back. Avoiding each other clearly hadn’t helped much. And Nick missed the nonstop spam of vines and videos his phone would be attacked with throughout the day a little more than he cared to admit.

Miles didn’t respond at first. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, but he knew this was going to get awkward the second he brought it up, so he figured they should just get it over with now. They couldn’t avoid it forever and pretend that was the best option. “Is leaving actually going to fix anything at this point?” he asked, though he didn’t really want an answer. He wasn’t even sure what there was to fix. None of this seemed to be straightforward enough for him to understand. It was really screwing things up between them, which made Miles nervous; as much as he wanted everything to be normal again, it also kept making him wonder if it had been some sort of wake up call for both of them. At least for Miles, it definitely wasn’t the first time he’d ever thought about kissing Nick, and beer had had nothing to do with that. Nick’s words made Miles shift uncomfortably, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away. He agreed it was a weird night, but… “Drunk?” Miles repeated, raising his eyebrows as he looked back up again. “You get drunk off of one beer? ‘Cause I certainly wasn’t drunk.” He knew Nick was just trying to make excuses for the both of them, but the reality of the situation was that he’d wanted to kiss him just as much — and they were both equally sober. That was why Miles couldn’t forget it so easily. “We don’t have to be weird about it, man. It’s weird to not talk to each other. We’re best friends. It doesn’t make sense.” He dropped his arms, taking a few steps toward Nick as he let out a deep breath. The space between them was creating more tension than Miles had realized, and he figured he’d try to ease some of it. “If it was that much of an accident, it wouldn’t have taken something scaring the shit out of us to stop it.” It was weird to say it out loud, but it was the truth. He knew it. Nick knew it. “It’s one thing to move on from it and go back to normal, but you can’t look me in the eye and tell me it was nothing but an accident and just pretend it never happened.” Miles was holding eye contact now, refusing to back down because he knew he was right. He was all for being Nick’s friend again and waiting for his weird feelings to blow over. But he couldn’t do that if Nick refused to admit the truth.

All he could do was shrug wordlessly at that, because he knew it was a stupid suggestion to begin with, but he wasn’t exactly prepared to have this conversation. Honestly, Nick had convinced himself that if they both waited it out long enough, there wouldn’t have to be a conversation at all. Wishful thinking at it’s best. “Then how else do you want to explain it, Miles?” The frustration was clear as he spoke sharply. Nick was far from mad, but he couldn’t quite stop the panic from rising in him as Miles called him out on his excuses. He hadn’t expected him to want to talk about it like this. And the honesty freaked him out just a little bit. “No, we don’t.” He agreed with that, because he didn’t want to be weird about this. “And I’m sorry that we’ve been ignoring each other. That’s fucked up.” He could at least admit that out loud. And as Miles walked towards him, he didn’t move away. There was no reason for him to. It was just his friend. His best friend. They shouldn’t have to stand on opposite sides of the room at all times now. “But I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say. That’s not something that happens everyday, man. It’s not like it was planned.” He finally made eye contact, knowing deep down that Miles was right. Because it had felt like anything but an accident and he knew it. “It’s not like we’re going to do it again.” He found that harder to say than any of the other shit that was coming out of his mouth right now. “And we’ve never done it before. It is what it is.” He sighed, expression softening some as he tried to ignore of some of the nerves that had gathered in the pit of his stomach. “Can we just let it go? Please?”

Miles sighed. “I don’t know,” he muttered, crossing his arms again. He wasn’t trying to be standoffish, but he felt like he had to make himself feel less exposed somehow. Which wasn’t easy, considering it was getting really hard for him not to just blurt out everything he was thinking right now. “But I don’t want to lie and say we were drunk just to make it seem like it wasn’t real. It was real. You kissed me back.” Miles hadn’t actually said it out loud yet, as they’d been dancing around it this whole time. But if they were going to forget about it, Miles needed to talk about it for some sort of closure. “Yeah, it is fucked up.” He nodded, not knowing where he wanted to go with it. He listened until Nick was done speaking, but he had to bite his lip to keep from interrupting. “It wasn’t planned but it still happened. You can’t just say it didn’t and think it will be any less confusing.” But the reality of it all didn’t really hit him until Nick reminded him it wasn’t going to happen again. Right. There was that. He was suddenly brought back to reality from whatever planet he’d been on this whole time, thinking about this conversation leading anywhere but here. His arms fell again, hanging by his sides before he slid his hands into his pockets. “Right.” He nodded, feeling all the fight leave his body at once. It hadn’t meant anything. And he forgot to keep telling himself that. “I know it’s not, I just…Never mind. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Yeah. You know what? Yeah. That’s probably best,” he agreed, though he didn’t believe his own words. He tried to smile at him. “Let’s just let it go. That’s probably our only option at this point.”

He couldn’t quite stop the guilt from settling in as Miles quieted down. He hadn’t meant for this to turn into an argument, or whatever this was. When it boiled down to it, Nick was just confused. And no time they spent apart and helped that. He was beginning to realize that Miles was just trying to make sense of it too. Sighing to himself, he paused a moment before speaking quietly. “I never said it wasn’t real. I just. I don’t know, Miles.” Nick shook his head. “We’re talking about it now, and things still feel pretty fucking weird. It’s confusing either way, man.” Nick wasn’t completely sure what the point he was trying to get across to Miles was, he just wanted to fix things somehow. Make everything go back to normal. But as he watched the others demeanor just change, he couldn’t help but feel as though he said or did something he shouldn’t have. Aside from the whole making out with him thing. Watching him carefully, he had to ask. “Are you just saying that, or do you mean it?” His hands curled into the fabric of his jacket from where they rested in his pockets. “I want us to be cool. Okay? You have to tell me you’re not secretly like — mad or something.” He paused, trying to crack a smile so it didn’t seem so serious even if it kind of was. “Just kind of want my friend back, you know?”

Miles didn’t know what to say. He knew that Nick was just as confused as he was, but Miles just didn’t know what was going through his head. He was just too afraid to ask. They were so close to being back to normal and Miles didn’t want to ruin it. Even if talking about it hadn’t really helped him much so far. But maybe reality slapping him across the face was what he needed: it genuinely didn’t mean anything. The sooner he realized that, the sooner they could just go back to being themselves again. “I mean it,” he said, although he wasn’t sure if it was entirely true. But what choice did he have? “I’m not mad. I want us to be okay, too. And the only way to do that is to let it go.” He felt significantly less awkward now, thankfully. But there was still a heavy feeling in his heart that he couldn’t quite place. He was just grateful it wasn’t all tense now. That was how things were supposed to be with them. They’d been friends for years. Nothing could weird for that long. “Okay. But if some shit happens again, I don’t wanna just stop talking. Can we at least agree on that?” he asked. “That’s not gonna work for me.” Not talking to him had made everything much worse for Miles. It left him too much time to think about it all and confuse him even more. “We’re bros. It doesn’t have to be like that.”

He wished that he knew what to say to make it all seem okay, but the fact of the matter was that Nick didn’t know how to handle the situation. If he were being honest, he was still a little freaked out over what had happened between them, but talking about it wasn’t going to help matters any. The only thing he knew to do was to just forget about it. “Okay.” He said simply enough, nodding and accepting the answer, although he hoped that Miles didn’t hear the doubt in his voice. This is what he had wanted, for Miles to agree to just let it go. But he still couldn’t help but feel weird about it, like something was still wrong somehow. “Everything’s good then. Okay?” He meant it as a final statement, but he couldn’t seem to stop it from coming out as a question. The conversation was a whole lot less stressful now that he knew Miles wasn’t about to punch him, and that they weren’t still actively avoiding each other. And a big part of him wanted to reach out somehow. Hug him or pat him on the shoulder or something to prove that they were cool again. But he refrained. If there were a surefire way to make things awkward again, touching him would probably be it. “I’m not gonna stop talking to you again.” He said after a moments pause, nodding although he was certain there would be no more slip ups. It fucked everything up enough the first time. “If we have a problem we can just fight it out with our fists like normal people, alright?” He cracked a small smile, trying to lighten the mood with a joke before sincerity colored his tone. “As long as things go back to normal.” That was the main goal here. “Besides. There’s so much shit I wanted to tell you that I can’t remember now. I’m not sure what they were about but it was probably at least kind of funny.” 

There was another lull in the conversation after Nick spoke, but it wasn’t too awkward this time. It was actually sort of nice. Miles had been tense the entire time, bracing himself for whatever horrible situation that was lying ahead, but now he could physically feel things starting to return to normal. They could be friends again, back to how they had been before they had kissed and everything had become confusing. “Yeah,” Miles responded, nodding. “Everything’s good.” In reality, Miles wasn’t sure what he had gone into this expecting. He wasn’t sure what he actually wanted to come out of it. He was happy they didn’t hate each other, but the idea of letting it go still didn’t seem to sit right with him. He felt like just ten minutes ago he would have done anything to convince Nick not to pretend it never happened, but now he was willing to do just that, as long as it meant he could have his friend back. It was confusing. But he didn’t particularly want to think about that anymore, because everything he was thinking had changed the minute he remembered it hadn’t meant anything. The distance between them suddenly felt too big again, but Miles didn’t want to be the one to close it anymore than he already had. He laughed lightly. “Sounds like a plan. But I’d beat you in a fight any day. You’ve seen me at my angriest before. It’s not pretty.” He nodded, at least agreeing with that. Not talking to Nick for so long was actually a hassle, since he now had all these things he’d wanted to show him piled up in his mind or just plain forgotten. He never realized just how much they shared with each other until there came a time that he wasn’t able to bring himself to talk to him at all. “Same here, man. Had to start sending all these stupid videos to my mom ‘cause I couldn’t just keep them to myself. She didn’t appreciate them like you do, though.” It was true. She usually had to have Miles explain it to her and that just really took away from it. He needed Nick’s matching sense of humor. “Also, I drank the rest of the beer you left at my place. I’d offer to buy you more to make up for it, but…” He shrugged. “Guess you’ll just have to remember that I’m your best friend and we’ll consider it a friendly gift so I don’t owe you shit.”

He had thought that maybe some distance would provide some clarity for the both of them, but at least for him it seemed to be the opposite. He still had no idea whatever the hell that was, or what their excuse for it even was, but he supposed now it didn’t matter. Things were starting to feel normal again, so really the only thing to do was just put it out of his mind. The truth was that he had missed him. It was different when they were just too busy to hang out or whatever. But it turns out that did not feel the same as intentionally ignoring someone did. That stung more than he’d care to admit, although truthfully it was mostly his own fault.  Smiling at him for real now, Nick stepped further into the room and closer towards Miles, feeling free to do so now that his apartment felt like less of a war zone and more like his home again. “Yeah, about that. If you do decide to take me down, do me a favor and avoid my face. Nose is already fucked up enough as it is. But the stomach area? All yours, man.” He was only mostly joking. Nick knew by now that Miles could pack a punch if he wanted to. He just didn’t quite want to be on the receiving end of that. “I’m sad I missed that. You think if I text her she’ll send them to me?” He laughed, joking easily enough now that the air around them wasn’t as heavy as it previously was. “Don’t worry about it.” He shook his head, quieting down some. “I probably would’ve left it for you, anyway.” You know, if he hadn’t have made some bullshit excuse and hauled ass back home. “I was just gonna add it onto the list of things I can hold over your head when you turn twenty one. You’ll be a full fledged adult, so I won’t have to be as nice to you then.”

Miles couldn’t explain what he felt when Nick smiled at him and came closer, but all he knew for sure was that he was thankful things were going to be fine between them again. They could be friends once again without all the weirdness, even if that meant doing exactly what Miles hadn’t wanted to do. He’d do it if it meant having Nick back. “My anger knows no bounds,” he said simply, shrugging. “I don’t think I’d be able to remember to watch for your nose if I was really ready to kick your ass. But I guess I’ll try if it ever does happen.” He had never actually hit someone he really cared about before. He wasn’t that stupid. But he wasn’t exactly the best at controlling his impulses, which Nick clearly knew now. “Maybe, if she hasn’t deleted them all yet. I’m sure she’d cry just by getting to talk to you. She still keeps telling me she misses you.” He wondered sometimes if his mom loved him as much as she loved his friends. She asked about Nick and Murphy almost on a daily basis. Miles shrugged. “Well, it’s gone now, in any case. I drank it while I watched cooking shows with Scout. As you could probably tell, I’ve had a pretty wild few weeks. You totally missed out.” Miles rolled his eyes, but laughed. “I’m sure you have a list of things against me. I can’t wait to see on my birthday. Which is coming up, in case you forgot and need a whole month to prepare a big extravagant gift for me.” It suddenly occurred to Miles why he’d even come here in the first place, because it hadn’t just been to talk to Nick, and now that was all he was doing. “Oh, shit. I still can’t find Mario Kart,” he said, mostly to himself, turning back around. “Did you take it?”

The last thing Nick wanted was to mess up their friendship somehow. For the past few days he couldn’t help but feel like he had, so this reassurance from Miles that everything was okay and that nothing had changed meant a lot. Even if he still felt a little odd for reasons he didn’t quite want to dwell on. Nick was determined that it would go away with time. “I’ll try to practice my fighting skills just in case, then. I appreciate the try, though.” The sad thing was that Nick knew Miles could kick his ass if he wanted to, but he wasn’t going to let him know that. He’d think he was scared of him — which he totally wasn’t, by the way. “Maybe I should. “ Nick was pretty sure there were times him and Murphy saw more of her than they did their actual Mom. And sure, maybe it would be a little weird for him to contact his friends Mom out of the blue just to say hi, but he didn’t want her to think they were ignoring her. Parents got weird about that stuff, even if they weren’t your own. “Dude, I feel like I have. Have you been watching Hell’s Kitchen? That show gets crazy. You probably needed the beer more than I did; I’m still a few weeks behind.” He couldn’t help but snort at that. “What, you mean you aren’t okay with a Starbucks gift-card? I was gonna get you the twenty-five dollar one and everything.” He already had a fairly good idea of what he was going to get him already, but he didn’t want him to know he planned this stuff. If word got out, him and Murphy would never leave him alone about potential gifts. “Mario Kart? Nah. I only try to steal Smash Bros. You’ve got the wrong brother.” He motioned down to the bottom of the TV, trying his best to see something from where he stood. “Have you tried under the TV? Sometimes we stack things that we use a lot there ‘cause it’s easier to find than it would be on the shelf.” Or stuff fell that they just left there for safe keeping. Better hidden than underfoot where they’d probably step on it. “You need me to shine a flashlight or something for you?”

Miles laughed. “Maybe it’s easier to just, y'know, not fight. There is some middle ground between completely ignoring each other and kicking the shit out of each other, you know. It’s called rationality.” Truthfully, if something weird were to ever happen again, there was no doubt in Miles’ mind that they would be able to work it out. This had turned out well given the circumstances, and he was certain Nick agreed on never wanting to just ignore him again. “Then you go do that. She’d love it.” Miles raised an eyebrow at Nick’s sudden enthusiasm. He should’ve brought up cooking shows weeks ago; it probably would have saved them a whole lot of silence. “Not really. I have seen it but it’s been a while. My mom used to be really into that one. I’m more of a Food Network guy myself — you know, Cupcake Wars, Chopped… The more sophisticated stuff,” he joked. He really did watch them, though. Yet he still couldn’t cook for shit. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes again at Nick’s joke about his gift, but he really didn’t have to get him anything. It sounded lame but Miles didn’t actually expect anything from Nick or Murphy. But Miles always wanted to go all out for them, anyway. “As a matter of fact, I would love that. I spend too much money on coffee. You’d feed my addiction for, like, three whole days. So thank you. You’re the sweetest.” He was teasing him but he wasn’t even lying. “Under the TV…?” Miles immediately turned around and dropped to his hands and knees to look over the stack Nick was referring to. Sure enough, his game was right there in plain sight. “Huh. So I guess I have a lot less faith in you guys as loyal friends than I should.” He stood up and looked at Nick, showing him the game now safely back in his hands. “But now all is right in the world.”

“I don’t know, sounds like a lot of work. You sure we’ve got that kind of time?” He was joking although he knew he was right.  Maybe they’d both kind of overreacted with the whole ignoring each other thing, and admittedly trying to fist fight it out wouldn’t exactly be the best solution either. Talking it out, or rather not talking about it at all, was clearly the best option here. So he guessed he’d stick with it. Nick nodded before grinning at the mention of the cooking shows. “It’s really intense. You’re missing out on a lot of savagery because the people are in it to win it. Dude, yes. Cupcake Wars is the best. And Halloween Wars. It’s exactly the same only they try to make the cupcakes spooky. And they use like, a ton of pumpkins. It’s awesome.” He wasn’t sure if it was still around, but the re-runs were definitely worth watching in his opinion. “I might end up saving that for Christmas so you have time to forget and are actually surprised. Just try not to look disappointed on your Birthday when you get your actual gift, alright? You’re going to make me feel guilty.” He laughed and nodded as Miles dropped down to search for the game. In all honesty he wasn’t sure if it’d be there or not — he didn’t even know they had Mario Kart at the apartment to begin with. Which was a shame because he would have tried to play it. At least for a little while. “Clearly.” He shook his head in amusement as Miles stood up with the game in hand. “Good. I’m glad you can breathe again. Next time just ask instead of thinking we’re hoarding all your stuff, okay? We only do that sometimes.”

Miles shook his head. “You’re right. It might just be easier at that point to fight.” He knew completely forgetting about what had happened was probably not much better than ignoring each other, but it definitely beat fighting, so Miles was going to take that and run with it. He was glad now that cooking shows were the topic of conversation, since he had a lot of opinions on the matter. “There’s enough savagery in Cupcake Wars. Cupcakes are pretty serious. Those people don’t take it lightly.” He nodded. “I didn’t know that was a thing, but I love Halloween so I feel like I should catch up on that. I gotta learn how to bake so I can be on one of those shows. You’d have to be my partner, though.” Miles had had his fair share of failed baking experiences, and it was disheartening, honestly. He spent too much time watching those shows to still be so bad at baking. “That’s cool, ‘cause at least then it’ll be the gift cards with all the snowflakes and stuff. Super festive.” He was always so nosy about birthday gifts, but he wasn’t the asshole who bugged the other person about it constantly. “Well, in my defense, ‘sometimes’ hoarding my stuff is enough for me to be curious about it every time. I never know what you guys are up to.” Miles panicked internally as silence came over them, fearing it would become awkward once again. He looked around aimlessly for a moment before saying the first thing that came to his mind. “So…how’s work going? At that club or whatever. You work late nights a lot. You must be pretty popular over there.” Although he’d never really mentioned what it was that he did. But Miles didn’t really care. He himself was still trying to find a job he wouldn’t hate. Nick was much better off than he was already.

Nick smiled and nodded once, amused now that the conversation between them was normal again. Well, as normal as they could get. “Can you blame them? They get ten thousand dollars and weird ass party invites. You can’t just lose something like that, gotta be serious.” He nodded, almost serious himself. “You should give it a try. We’ll YouTube a couple of baking videos and then apply. But I’m in. We’d kick so much ass, man. They’d look awesome.” All they needed to do was make sure they were edible. Then they’d for sure win. “It’ll be the glittery snow flake one, too. So when it gets everywhere you’ll always remember where it came from. That way when it gets shoved down in your wallet you don’t forget about it. That’s thinking ahead.” He teased before shrugging. “I don’t know half of the time either. We don’t plan it, you know.” Nick smiled, before the conversation began to die off and he shifted on his feet. Though, truth be told, when Miles spoke again, part of him wished things had just gone silent and awkward again. Because he immediately froze, looking at Miles oddly for a moment. “What do you mean by that?” He was confused, although inwardly he couldn’t help but panic. Miles couldn’t know, though. It was an innocent question. He was just being paranoid. “They like me okay, I guess.” He replied slowly, shrugging as he tried to not seem like he was weird about answering. “It’s going okay. I’m getting lots of hours.” He paused, trying to summon up another smile. “And it’s a fun job. I’m good with the customers, I think.” At least he hoped so. It’d be embarrassing if he were bad at his job. “How’re things going for you? You find something yet?”

“Can’t argue there. There’s a lot on the line. That’s where enemies are made.” Miles laughed, but he was totally serious. Cupcakes were no laughing matter. “Can you bake? That’s the real question. ‘Cause I sure can’t. So I’m kinda counting on you to take home the win for us, man.” It wasn’t that hard to follow a recipe, but somehow he still always messed it up. “Oh, great. I totally want glitter all over my wallet. It is good thinking, though, ‘cause I’ll be more likely to use it if it gets rid of the glitter.” The conversation shifted as Nick seemed confused by Miles’ question, even tense. He hadn’t meant anything by it, of course. He himself became confused, but he didn’t want to question Nick’s reaction too much. “I—what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I just meant…you work a lot. I was just saying it must be going well.” He nodded as Nick continued to talk, not wanting to push anything more than he already had. “That’s good. I’ll still have to come visit someday,” he offered, smiling. When his own job hunt came into question, Miles sighed, slumping his shoulders. “Nope. I’m picky as hell. My dad’s been giving me shit because I won’t keep my options open. But hey. We don’t all find our dream jobs as accountants in our early twenties, Dad.” He shook his head. “But I’m not bitter or anything at my having no direction in life. Make no mistake.”

“Honestly. If you were somehow on the other team, I hope you know I’d have to destroy you. I mean , that’d never happen because you’d be on my team and we’d make a total power couple. But hypothetically.” This was serious shit so he had to have the best on his team. Miles would see his vision, at the very least. Even if neither of them had very intensive baking experience. “Like — from a box. My Mom tried to show me how to do it from scratch once, but I think I forgot. The box is easy, though, all you’ve gotta do is read the back then mash everything together. As long as they allow it we’ll be fine.” Hopefully. Maybe. Hypothetically speaking only, of course. “Don’t mention it. Just trying to look out for you, man.” The confusion that appeared on Miles’ face at his slight outburst clued him into the fact that it had been an innocent question, and that he wasn’t just trying to fuck with him. It was too sincere. So Nick relaxed some, hoping the paranoia hadn’t seeped into his tone too obviously. “Right. Well. Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah, it’s going fine. I mean, it’d be nice to have the night off every once in awhile. But you know, the money is nice.” The money was definitely nice. Even if he couldn’t seem to save much of it. If it didn’t cost so much to live maybe he’d actually have more than a few bucks to his name. “Hey, you’ll find something. You don’t have to settle just because he wants you to, you know. Then you’d just be stuck in a shitty job that you hate. And then you wouldn’t be able to find the time to find something you do like.” He paused for a moment. Nick wasn’t sure if anyone really had any direction in life. In fact, he was eighty percent sure that it was just a myth. But if anyone could find it, it’d be Miles and Murphy. It’d just take a little while. “Plus, you’re probably busy doing more important things anyway. Instead of trying to do math you can just catch up on Halloween Wars. Who knows?” He smiled, shrugging. “You’d probably end up being happier.”

“Well, yeah. I would too. Every man for himself. No friends in Cupcake Wars.” Miles shrugged. “Well, yeah, any idiot can do that. I don’t think they allow using mixes from a box, though. Anyone could win in that case.” He was beginning to think he should actually start to learn how to bake in case the situation ever arose. “I appreciate it.” Nick was noticeably less tense, but it still left Miles wondering what had gotten him so worked up in the first place. He’d let it slide, though. “Yeah, I mean, the money makes it all worth it, I’m sure. Glad it’s working out for you, though.” He shrugged. “Yeah, I dunno. I’ve seen a few things but nothing’s sticking. I’ll die before I work in retail so it kinda limits my options. I’m also trying to avoid anything with dogs ‘cause I don’t want Scout to be pissed every time I come home.” Scout generally avoided him when he smelled like other dogs. She was easily jealous, clearly. “Totally. I’m still pretty busy with school, anyway. I’ll figure it out eventually.” Miles found himself saying that often, especially to his parents when they asked what his plans for after graduation were. But it was true. He would figure it out eventually. “Of course I’d be happier watching Halloween Wars. Wouldn’t we all?” He sighed, glancing down at his feet and slipping his free hand into his pocket. He didn’t particularly want to leave in the middle of an intriguing conversation about cupcakes and glitter, but he hadn’t planned on being here for too long. “Anyway, I should get going soon. But it was, um…it was good talking to you, man.” He reached for his keys in his coat pocket. “Let me know if you want to hang out or anything. Otherwise I’ll definitely see you for my birthday and the wedding.” It was definitely convenient that they were within days of each other. “Thanks for helping me find the game.”

“Pretty sure that’s the tagline for the show, actually.” He nodded to himself, even if it probably most definitely wasn’t. "Hey, you asked. But google is always an option too. I’m sure Gordon Ramsay’s got a recipe online somewhere.” Nick wasn’t the best baker or cook himself, but at least he could figure things out, if he really needed to. Nodding as Miles’ spoke, he didn’t respond until he stopped. “Can she really tell? ‘Cause in that case, she might be able to smell Murphy’s dog on you. No idea where she is, but she was running through here earlier. Her scent could be sticking to you right now for all we know.” He rose an eyebrow, although truthfully he wasn’t all that surprised. Dogs were smart. Especially that one. Nick had learned that the hard way. “School takes up a lot of time, anyway. I say print out your class schedule for proof when people start to give you shit.” Nick laughed. “You do have a point.” He’d rather be watching Halloween Wars 10 out of 10 times himself. He nodded, smile nearly sheepish for allowing the conversation to go on for so long when Miles’ had only been there for the one thing. He probably hadn’t intended to have a heart to heart and a full on conversation about TV shows when he came over, but in Nick’s defense, he hadn’t planned that either.  “Ah — right. And I should probably do what I said I was going to.” That nap wasn’t going to take itself. And he was running out of time to try to do that, unfortunately. “You too. I’ll…text you or something soon.” Because it was cool to do that again now, he hoped. “If not, I’ll definitely see you soon. Wouldn’t miss either.” He was being sincere. He’d been planning on it even when they were being weird still. “You’re welcome. Now you know all of our hiding places, though.” Well, one of them. “We’ll have to come up with brand new ones now. I don’t want to be predictable.”