#sometimes i dont feel right in lesbian or transmasc spaces

[lesvegas]

anybody else feel weird guilt over being a transmasc dyke instead of 'just a butch' because butches are 'a dying breed'. like somehow being too masculine or becoming a male dyke makes you some kind of lesbian traitor and you're contributing to the endangerment of butches or something

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

Extremely Unnecessarily Long Disjointed Ramble About My Identity

ive never felt happy with my queer identity at all. i know you dont need labels but being labeless wasnt freeing either, it never felt any better.. not any worse, but just the same feeling of ambivalence to my own existence.

one thing i never see discussed is the influence of community in how you describe yourself. this is so obvious, we talk about this with peer pressure and other personality traits, but its heavily affected my queer identity too. my sexuality has always been kinda fuzzy, ive been bouncing between being bi and lesbian and gay since the beginning of time, but between those 3 groups the appeal of the lesbian community was always so much higher. i liked the sense of closeness i never experienced in my trans/gay/bi identity, i liked how more trans inclusive it felt, my lesbian friends were always much more proud of their identities than other people, i liked the freedom of not being at all shackled to men. But i dont really know if lesbian fits my sexuality. no fucking clue. i just know socially id rather be a lesbian in social circles than anything else. i feel like an imposter almost. when i identify as bi i dont feel like an imposter, but im always really unhappy with the choice and feel like it doesnt accurately represent me at all. i dont feel like i relate to other bi people.

with my transness.. for 3 years i ID'd as a binary trans man. it never felt quite right, i felt like i didnt try hard enough to be a man, there were too many things i held onto from living as a girl that i didnt know if id ever want to let go. i switched to thinking of myself as nonbinary transmasc, not really at all connected to feminity but not strictly calling myself a man. this was alright but i always felt the indecisiveness of sometimes wanting to be a man and sometimes wanting to be free from it all together, it didnt feel good either. right now ive abandoned any notions of gender, just that im not a Girl, and whether that means im feminine or masculine or androgynous it doesnt matter. this is maybe the worst ive ever felt about my gender and has affirmed to me i probably am at least transmasc, if not completely a trans Man.

ive always rlly felt the shame of being transmasc. i feel like i betrayed womanhood or whatever even though i didnt fit into that either. i was an ugly obvious outlier in any space i tried to be a girl. i think id rather be a girl, i see the appeal of it so much more. i feel stupid for not wanting to be a girl when i enjoy the experience so much more. even though i Know identity is not something you choose, even though i Know every single person has a different thing thats right for them, it feels so much more justified to me to want to be a girl - whether you have to transition that way or were just born into it - than to want anything to do with masculinity. i dont know.

i have some internalized hatred to work out but it sucks when i see people reinforcing it. terfs call testosterone evil and talk about trans men betraying womanhood. transmascs frequently say stupid shit online (transmisogny, as well as generally being insanely discourse minded), and i know im not the monolith, im not the whole group, but it makes me feel stupid for wanting to be grouped with those people. this definitely ties into my completely unrelated issue of feeling personally responsible for shit that i didnt do, for people pleasing all the time and my desire to be liked by literally everyone. And then also in my head i go Ahhhh youre dividing people into arbitrary categories again... Youre deciding certain archetypes of transmasc suck even when you dont know the person personally and then i feel disappointed in myself again for being so generalizing. especially when i understand how they got to those conclusions or have thought them myself at some point.

now 90% of my friends are trans girls and its changed my perception of community again. i feel like transmascs dont have the same sense of closeness like that, or maybe we do, and i just dont feel it since i dont engage with my own community much anymore. maybe as an outsider i percieve more solidarity than actually exists (although between my friends & social media discourse im not at all unaware of infighting). maybe i just feel left out or lost wherever i go i guess. maybe it is just a me issue.

to add onto the i dont engage with my own community bit, i remember when i used to follow many transmasc artists and all their ocs and such were transmasc too. i strayed away from this for a few reasons. i remember some discourse in 2022 about how trans male artists get so much more attention online and how no one supports trans womens art, and i felt bad almost for engaging with my own community. i know that other peoples communities are not a threat to my own, and ive always supported trans womens art too, but i felt bad about the 1 single time i ever felt connected to other trans men. i felt bad consuming all this male content, and consequently stopped. that was also around the same time my sexuality shifted from feeling like a gay or bi man, to being a nonbinary lesbian, so i felt disconnected from a lot of gay transmasculine art as well.

a lot of my issue with identity is discourse and its so stupid man. i know its stupid to say out loud but constantly being surrounded by it gets to my head sometimes. it feels especially stupid as someone who doesnt even rlly engage with it, instead i just read thread after thread reply after reply and feel Bad with no outlet. i remember over the years seeing posts about how people drawing transmasc surgery scars felt empty and meaningless, because it didnt attempt to represent any other part of the transmasculine experience and i felt bad for enjoying that symbol. i loved seeing top scars in art and on people and then i felt weird about it, even though logically i know the importance of those things is not diminished by random people online saying its Hollow.

it always feels like discourse tries to pit trans men and women against eachother and it sucks. (with obvious exceptions, sometimes trans men really are ignorant & talking over or erasing transmisogny). ive never once with my transfem friends felt like i was at odds against them. learning other peoples experiences is extremely important to me, and ive often found we have very similar experiences too, even on stuff i wouldnt expect to have parallels for. it sucks that i literally go outside and touch grass everyday and interact with Real Queer People, and yet still the discourse worms infest themselves into my brain...

being completely unlabeled and being free is fine in a box, until im forced to adhere back to reality by the fact i live with other people. i can think of my own actions as genderless or etc in my own bubble, maybe even with friends, but when i go back into the world and am crammed and perceived into places i dont want to be, i feel bad again. maybe i havent experienced the true joys of being labeless when i still care about peoples perception of me. its hard not to when its your everyday at school and work.

[boypussydilf]

actually i was going to save this for when i made All Grown Up Now designs for the human kids in sgt frog but idk if/when im actually gonna do that so heres jusyt my random thoughts about what some of them r doing as adults and also maybe some au/oc stuff

transfem fuyuki is SO real to me tbh. when she moved out of the hinata house keroro came with her bc theyre all time best friends and keroro deciding being with fuyuki was more important than staying w the secret base or anything like that. fuyuki lives in like a normal apartment with a convenience store job or smth like just the most average life but she also makes youtube videos where she talks abt the occult, goes over conspiracy theories & even debunks them if smth is really stupid, makes vlogs going to places that r supposed to be haunted or have been visited by aliens or whatever other supernatural thing u can think of. also talks casually in her videos abt having lived with an alien since she was 12 but obviously everyone watching just thinks that’s a running gag. she also miiiiigjt be roommates with mois? bc i think mois would want to go wherever keroro goes but i also dont know how fuyuki would feel about that. i dont know if mois can get a job to help with rent. i think that 10 years in the future mois would still be basically 13 years old.

also fuyuki is a lesbian and has a better chance of figuring out that she likes momoka now that shes got herself figured out more but she has NOT figured out that she likes momoka yet bc fuyuki is dense

transmasc natsumi, also, is so real to me. he becomes both a model and an athlete, bc tbh? i do believe in natsumi’s rights to just kind of be Good At Everything. when he moved out he was like Man! It’s so great to not have to deal with the stupid frog all the time! and then felt like everything was weird and too quiet without keroro around obviously but he is still relieved to not have to deal with shit like. oh all the curtains in the house have been turned into pudding. or whatever. that does still happen sometimes sometimes keroro comes to visit and it can go well or it can go horribly. Dating koyuki, obviously, who is the girlboy of all time and also probably still lives in the same house w dororo and hasnt changed significantly so i dont have anything else to say about him.

I haven’t been able to decide what giroro & kururu do after the hinata kids & keroro move out? Bc it feels kind of weird for them to still just kind of be there at the house when it’s just aki and a no-longer-used secret base. and omiyo i guess. But also what else are they gonna do. If kururu wanted to live w saburo they wouldve done that from the beginning so idk. Maybe giroro does just stay in his tent and kururu stays in her lab.

Some time after anime canon the keroro platoon ends up OFFICIALLY resigning from the keron army or giving up on their mission in a way they can’t go back on or Something to that effect where they’re very up front about not planning to invade instead of lying their way around it. I like to think that keroro becomes like a Space Actor and giroro gets to be a train conductor like he wants but that might be a little while away for them still. However this also means that inevitably a while after THAT keron sends in a NEW earth invasion team because theyve been trying (and failing) to take control of this planet for millions of years they’re not gonna fucking give up NOW. & the new platoon doesn’t necessarily HAVE to take any drastic moves against the keroro platoon but they should make sure the kplatoon doesn’t do anything to interfere…..

I wuz gonna design a whole platoon to be that ^ replacement platoon but i didnt get around to most of them </3 maybe someday. Anyway obviously they all have a power of friendship arc and come around to the side of NOT invading planets. except the leader.

I dont know what momoka & saburo would be doing as adults either </3 Momoka doesnt really have to do anything. shes rich. its not like she needs to take up a career or anything. Actually she probably becomes a martial artist or something? Goes into the business of kicking ass like her mom. Saburo MIGHT keep up the radio show but I think they’d get bored of that but maybe stay in a similar vein, entertainment of some sort. Oh I guess there’s art lmao. I dont know. Saburo has a tumblr blog where they post slightly overdone musings on life and nature and shit.

[mogai-sunflowers]

Hi babs! (If that's an okay term to use, its like a platonic/friendly way of saying baby/babe hehe if its rude then skip over it and I apologize for using it)

But I wanted to ask, I support all types of lesbians, and I'm sure it's obvious based on the name, but what are male lesbians? :0 I hope I dont sound rude, I adore your blog! <33 (I just need things specified, but overall I know it isn't my business and I support all types of love/attraction/etc as long as they're consensual and yknow not gross I dont wanna list it bc triggering djjdjdhj agh im so sorry I'm rambling!!)

hewo!!! yes babs is okie to use for me i like that term actually afasddf /lh

so i'm not a lesbian (i mean,,,,,, technically i am i just feel more comfy identifying as sapphic) so i don't want to overstep or anything, but i will def do my best to explain :)

so basically, lesbianism has always meant queer attraction to women, and the sadly extremely influential transphobic, biphobic, anti-sw, and racist exclusionism of political lesbians in the '70s, despite changing the common narrative of lesbianism, didn't actually change anything about the definition, because they had no right to even touch the definition of lesbian, let alone try to completely change it, and even if they had, the definition "change" would be unacceptable because it was founded in queerphobia. so yeah, the interpretations of lesbianism that caused the shift towards a belief that lesbianism is exclusive wlw and excludes men? we know that all has never actually been the definition, and that change is invalid because of the circumstances surrounding it.

however, i digress (as i tend to do about 200% of the time). having established that the most accurate definition of lesbianism is queer attraction to women (seeing as it actually came about as a term to replace sapphic), it may still feel like- huh? how can a guy's attraction to women be queer?

i used to have the same reaction until i realized that being a man doesn't block one from queer experiences, quite obviously. non-binary men who are attracted to women, transmasc men, transhet binary men!

also, genderfluid lesbians and multigender lesbians! some men have other genders as well, and that does not make them less of men, nor their attraction to women less queer! and people who are genderfluid and are sometimes men are absolutely queer and if they're attracted to women, they can feel free to identify with lesbian if their attraction to women is queer to them!

there are resources about this more on the LGBTA Wiki page for lesbians if you wanna check it out! this is really just a surface exploration of male/non-binary lesbianism, and i really can't get more into it because beyond my understanding of it and queer history, i don't actually understand since it's not my identity nor my specific history, so if you'd like to learn more i also heavily suggest talking to male lesbians and elder lesbians outside of online spaces, because all this recent wave of exclusionism towards non-women lesbians is honestly a new wave, the discourse is refreshed from old exclusionism but the lesbians whose identity predated said exclusionism are still here, and their stories are the ones that actually need to be listened to :)

thanks for asking! i relish the opportunity to educate wonderful ppl like you! /gen

https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Lesboy

https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Lesbian

also here's some tangential sources that you could look into :)

https://butchandfemme.carrd.co/

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender_variance_in_spirituality

ANY AND ALL DERAILMENTS/DISCOURSE WILL RESULT IN AN IMMEDIATE BLOCK- I AM NOT DEBATING THE VALIDITY OF HUMAN IDENTITY, I'M EXPLAINING IT. IF YOU LOOK AT ALL OF THIS INFORMATION AND HISTORY AND STILL DECIDE TO BE AN ASSHAT, THAT'S ON YOU NOT ME.

also @batm0th i figured you may want to rb this so the exclus on your blog can like...... get a grip on reality too :)

[sputnikodin]

i’m also dating a he/him lesbian, and it is wonderful. highly recommend. great work all around. the only thing is that when i mention my boyfriend, i can tell people are confused, and ive had friends say “but i thought you were a lesbian…?” etc. im aware many people dont understand and i dont really care to explain it to them, but i also dont want people to think im “a lesbian who dates men.” i was just wondering, do you experience this? any tips?

i haven't run into this yet, since i haven't had many opportunities to talk about him with people who don't already know about him, but it IS something i've thought about a lot since i anticipate people reacting that way and since i'm a he/him lesbian myself and have deliberated over using those pronouns irl (instead of they/them which is what i currently default to in lgbt-friendly spaces, with he/him used by friends and friends of friends) because my relationship to being perceived as a man is a complicated one and i don't really know how i'd feel about (ostensibly) ~affirming~ that interpretation instead of just existing in the glorious limbo of Being Confusing. so i've seen it from the other side too basically

in my case, mar is also all right with being referred to as my partner (and with they/them pronouns), so thus far that's what i've called him when discussing him with people irl in order to avoid this kind of thing. i absolutely love calling him my boyfriend though and it's what i'd call him most of the time in an ideal world. i've been weighing in my head how much i really care about others' perceptions of me, how much i'm comfortable letting them interfere with my authenticity — how much does it really matter if someone else thinks i'm a man, or thinks i'm dating a man, if i know i'm not? (← the principle that underlies much of my experience as a transmasc lesbian; obviously contextually different depending on the degree of misperception and how much u desire it though.) if a stranger or acquaintance walks away assuming i'm a guy or with a guy, how much does that affect my life; will i be more okay with deviating from my preferences and my lover's preferences or more okay with being misunderstood? (i'm not trying to weight these questions towards "complete authenticity is always the morally upright way to go," by the way — obviously we as gay people know that a little surface-level dishonesty is sometimes necessary to let an authentic personal life blossom.)

with regards to discussing him with people who know me better, there are ways to buffer against that misinterpretation, though they aren't foolproof and can be unwieldy — when talking about him to irl friends when he and i first got together i'd often talk about the joy of dating another butch as a butch myself; i feel like even my lgbt friends who weren't familiar with the "he/him lesbian boyfriend" thing could make the connection between masculine presentation and masculine terminology without my having to elucidate it in words. i'm not opposed to doing a little "by the way, i use he/him for him and call him my boyfriend but we're both lesbians" spiel if i deem it necessary, either, at least in theory.

i think no matter what we do there will always be the risk of misunderstanding. and as someone for whom my lack of attraction to men is an important part of my experience as a person in the world, i don't disparage you or me or anyone else for wanting to avoid handing people the opportunity to interpret us as people who date men. but to some extent like ... i think it's one of those risks we take on, you know? plus some people are going to think i date men even if they never hear a word about mar — no matter how much of a dyke i look like (or openly say that i am), there will always be people who assume i'm still open to dating men. in the end, i lean more towards honoring the language i and he feel most comfortable with than honoring my worries about other people thinking i'm something i'm not. that's where i'm at at this point, at least.

[thelesbiancitizen]

hello, u seem like u have good opinions just in general, so like i have extreme body dysphoria and have been "out" to my best friend as transmasculine and straight for a year or so. the thing is, i came out to my other friends as a lesbian a few weeks ago, cause i found it easier to explain than heing transmasc (ik that sounds strange/annoying, so yea) but lately i've been feeling more comfortable identifying as a lesbian rather than a trans man, but my body dysphoria has gone up extremely. this isnt me saying that i made the wrong decision to id as trans, because i do want to pass as male. also, have never felt any shame in being a 'girl' or a lesbian, i just felt it wasnt right for me, but now i'm feeling doubts again, cause most of my trans male friends are completely happy with like, who they are, u know?

(pls dont feel obligated to answer this, i just needed to rant, thank u <3)

Hi anon! Nothing about that sounds strange to me. It sounds like you're feeling pretty confused at the moment. Sometimes, worrying about labels can make things more confusing -- labels are meant to help us categorize and make sense of things, but they can trip us up, too, because it's easy to get caught up in trying to shape and mold ourselves to fit into labels, instead of just letting ourselves be. I understand that, because I was really worried about labels for a long time. I think it was because I was so out of touch with my feelings; I was really, really concerned with what others thought of me. I didn't think I was at the time, but in hindsight, it was all I thought about; how I might be appearing to others, what they might be thinking of me. I was so worried about what each label 'said' about me -- not realizing that the labels themselves... don't really mean much. People tend to imbue words with a lot of meaning that isn't necessarily there for anyone else but us, because we are emotional creatures. That isn't necessarily bad. But it can be confusing, too. What helped me the most to 'figure myself out' was realizing that it didn't really matter what words I used to describe myself, or words that other people used to describe me, because no matter what I call myself, it doesn't change who I am on the inside. How you feel about particular words and labels isn't as important as how you feel about yourself. Comparing yourself to other people is only going to get you so far, because you don't know what sort of internal battles they may be fighting, you can't understand what it is like to be them. You only understand what it is like to be you. Let your gut feelings and your intuition guide you toward what feels right, and don't worry about labeling anything. Often when we are feeling strong emotions we tell ourselves stories to try to explain the feelings away, rather than being honest with ourselves and letting our feelings "speak for themselves". Sometimes feelings are ugly and frightening and painful, but they can't hurt you; it's alright to sit with them and explore them. Write about your feelings and get to know them. They give you the most important information about your life. If you've been feeling more comfortable identifying as a lesbian lately, that might be your intuition speaking. Keep listening and learning about yourself. Give yourself permission and space to explore your feelings and, in time, you'll be able to make more sense of yourself and your experience.

[every-captain]

I find pronouns to be a space of confusion for me. I use primarily he/him pronouns because I am Extremely Trans and asserting that kind of opposition from my assigned gender is good and the most comfortable. But theres definitely an element of respectability, safety, and compromise to my use of and assertion of he/him pronouns that I end up examining sometimes.

If I was on T or had gotten top surgery, would I be more comfortable using they/them pronouns because my assertion at not being a woman would be able to be taken more as-read?

I am vehemently opposed to being thought of as female, but enjoy femininity. Am I afraid that calling myself nonbinary while looking the way I do is going to make people assume I am a "lesbian using weird pronouns?" How much of my struggling against being perceived as female is due to internalized misogyny? Is my desire to not be attractive to lesbians (the primary demographic that finds me attractive) due to lesbophobia, misogyny, or just genuinely not being a woman? Is my celebrating of butch women fetishising? Is the grief I feel at never having the chance to identify as a lesbian because I am one, because of fetishisation, because I find the journies of some lesbians relatable, or because of something else? Is it just Another Part Of Me that is a lesbian that I am picking up on? Can that part of me even use that phrase to describe herself.

Do I actually have an identity of my own or is it just made up of the identities of other fragments of my mind? Why are they so sure and I struggle?

Idk sometimes its just big brain gender hours. I dont think the labels I use for myself are wrong, but I think it is important sometimes to look them in the eye for a minute. And ask "why do I feel this way, and is it for the right reasons?"

Anyway im a nonbinary transmasc he/they t4t poly bisexual who doesnt date lesbians or straight men.

[sighfrancisco]

this is literally just a vent post so please dont start discourse with me 

im nb/trans and pan but sometimes i call myself a lesbian bc i do tend to lean toward women more and that was how i identified for a long long time but there are so many lesbian gatekeepers who get angry at me for saying not all lesbians are women

like yes i understand what you are saying, lesbians are wlw, but if a trans person wants to continue to ID as a lesbian for their own comfort, it is not your job to gatekeep. this is especially important with nonbinary individuals. i am not a man. i am not a woman, but i am not a man. some days i’m more boy than others, but it is not your job to tell me how my gender relates to my sexuality. that is mine and mine alone to define. 

bonus: even if a trans man wants to continue IDing as a lesbian, that is his right. as someone who’s transmasc but still appears femme to many people, sometimes it’s just easier and feels safer to say that i am a lesbian. if i kissed a girl in public, because of my appearance, people would assume i’m a lesbian, and some days i’m cool with that because again, nonbinary. is that problematic? a little bit, maybe, but it’s an internal problem, not one for you--especially if you’re cis--to gatekeep. 

we need to cut out this purist shit that keeps permeating lgbtqia+ spaces, and it is perpetuated so much by lesbians in particular for reasons i’m not entirely sure about. it’s not just the weird title gatekeeping--”you can’t call yourself a lesbian unless you meet these requirements!!!! unless you’re a bi girl, in which case i’ll say you’re a lesbian who just wants to be special, or even better, i’ll tell u u aren’t rly queer!!!! if you’re a cishet ace you dont get to call urself queer!!!!” like why 

what are you doing

why are you so determined to keep this door shut

we’re the first letter of the acronym, guys. like. we’re fine. let people ID in a way that makes them feel safe and comfortable for the love of god 

(because i know someone is going to throw out this argument, because someone always does: no, i’m not saying a cis man can or should ID as a lesbian, and you know that’s not what i’m saying.) 

[lunarssong]

before you follow

(sorry about formatting n stuff, im on mobile as literally always but ive been getting a ton of complaints about my bio length so uhh a link to this is replacing that. also, ive tried to bold everything important, so itll be easier to skim.)

edit originally from 22 november 2020: hi, it's alsa. we're a system, the body is 20 right now (born in october '03, in case you see this n aren't sure if our age is up to date or not). overall, this is really outdated. check @lunarssong-system for more information on us, ig? i colorcoded based on who wrote what, this color is niko, n this color is me, alsa

personal information stuff

name: Niko (dave k., dakota, n pato also all refer to niko. dave by itself might mean him n it might mean strider). our system is the lunarssong system

pronouns: he/him! or they/them (if referring to all of us or a specific individual whose pronouns you don't know, use they/them.)

nontheistic as for the rest of the system, most of us who are religious are pagan.

im transmasc

bi, maybe ace or demi

our body's age is, as of october 2023, 20. we're an adult now. some alters definitely won't be. so please still keep that in mind. esp if you're not sure who you're interacting with.

i'm physically & mentally disabled, also, we're plural. we likely have DID or something similar. we're traumagenic, but we support all origin types & are anti-sysmed.

white american

@rose-the-emo-cryptid is my actual, literal, little sibling, if youre confused by any of my interactions with them. and if youre shitty to them i will physically fight you

♦️♦️♦️ @imabitcontagious is my moirail ! go appreciate them, you cowards!!! ♦️♦️♦️

our system acc is @lunarssong-system. the pinned post has a list of our @s, n most of us who have a tumblr have a bio in our descs. if you wanna know abt someone who doesn't then ig you can just. ask. we might not wanna tell you though n we have every right to choose not to. even if we know you. n it's not necessarily smth personal if we do

i havent responded to a message, and its been a while

im perpetually exhausted, easily distracted, and nervous/awkward as heck, so dont worry if i take a while to answer an ask or dm!! its nothing personal, im just a mess! you can remind me to answer/reply, if you want, but please dont be rude/guilt trip-y about it it's also possible that someone opened it (so dismissed the notif), n didn't reply or tell anyone else abt it, so ngl, sometimes a reminder to reply might be in your best interest. unless you want a literal three year late reply (yes. yes we have done that)

who will i block on sight? whats my opinion on [x shitty thing]?

pedophiles, abusers, etc., and people who attempt to support/normalize them WILL be blocked.

TERFs, truscum, and other forms of transphobes, as well as racists, ableists, religiously intolerant individuals (islamophobes, antisemitic people, etc), homophobes, panphobes, biphobes, aphobes, and any other kind of bigots WILL be blocked. exclusionists can fuck off. yes, bi/pan/etc mspec lesbians are valid. learn your fucking history. anyone aspec (arospec or acespec), intersex, polyam, etc is 100% welcome in the queer community. if they wanna be in it, we have a space for them n want them here.

i rbed a post from someone problematic.

if i RB a post from a shitty person (examples would be the above listed things, and other similar ones), please, please, feel free to dm me or send me an ask (on or off anon) letting me know what the post is, and what the person who posted it did, and ill take it down and block them. chances are, i saw it in a tag or in the notes of a post, and had no clue. people like that and their ideas are not welcome here.

i said something wrong about race/religion/nationality/any minority im not a part of

im a white american, and while im not christian, my beliefs dont exactly qualify as (oppressed) minority. for this reason, i tend to steer clear of butting in on those discussions entirely. however, if i ever do say something stupid/out of line/just plain wrong, PLEASE feel free to correct me so i don’t continue making the same mistake. its not your responsibility, but i would appreciate the help with becoming a better person. ive got a lot of prejudice, as much as i wish i didnt, but im aware of it, and working on it.

i posted something triggering without any warning

if youd like me to add a TW tag, send me an ask (on or off anon), or dm me, and ill add it. dont worry about bothering me, i dont mind, especially if it helps someone else! however, it may take me a while to get around to that, apologies in advance. in the meantime, i wont be upset if you have to unfollow me.

if you still have questions of any kind, dm me or send an ask! i dont bite, i promise

you may not get a reply from niko specifically, but most of the rest of us are p friendly! n usually the unfriendly ones wouldn't be responding to smth on here.

n if you're worried abt a more hostile member of our system (like me. lmao) responding, you can just mention that you don't want that. we try our best to be harmless to anyone who means no harm, but a lot of us can be really hypervigilant n overreact or see hostility where there is none. so we appreciate clarification, tone indicators, etc

if you read this far, thanks! we genuinely appreciate it. - alsa