#something waltzy

[notrobyn]

the HMRC hold music is Fine but surely they could use more than fucking 16 bars of music

[w1lmuttart]

All music I make sounds so melancholy lmao

Anyway wip (both music and drawing)

[jennicatzies]

— but I won't apologize for doing what's right!

[ extra(s) under the cut ]

Closeup crop for the funny 🙏

thinking about Your Obedient Servant too much I NEEDED to draw something somewhat related. Idk I'm just a big fan of the passive aggressive waltzy tune in the chorus. And so I shall draw Ham and Burr dancing. Naturally

Do I know how hair greying works. Do I look. No I don't. Fuck it we Ball

[writers-reach]

Slow dancing headcanons with Makoto,Ren and Yu?

persona 3/4/5: slow dancing headcanons (makoto yuki, yu narukami, ren amamiya)

notes: gn!reader, fluff, pretty short

makoto yuki

asks you to take the lead! he's seen those dancing lovers shadows in tartarus, but otherwise has no clue what he's doing.

mumbles to himself as he learns; he's a pretty quick learner, so in no time, the two of you are dancing about your room

ends up loving dancing with you! likes slow, more waltzy styles than anything else

yu narukami

he's got some dance experience under his belt, what with helping with that festival for rise. he takes the lead, but making sure you're keeping up!

every time you look up from your feet and into his eyes, he smiles, and you feel yourself trip slightly. damn him and his charming looks!

definitely tries to dance with you at the summer festival or something like that, to some dumb, cheesy ballad or another

ren amamiya

kind of like a mix between makoto and yu, i feel. like, has no idea what he's doing but pretends he does to appear confident. fake it til you make it, right?

despite not quite knowing what to do, he's trying his best and it actually turns out pretty well! he's got good body coordination, so you're never too worried about being stepped on

can't stop cracking jokes about being your "dashing prince charming" or "roguish lover". it's okay, though, since seeing you smile and roll your eyes makes it all worth it!

a/n: tysm for your request! hope you enjoy!

[obae-me]

Hello, and welcome to another installment of niche content containing another mash of my two special interests. Written out of boredom at the airport. Today's edition, fueled with my excitement of being able to go to none other than Miku Expo 2024, I give:

The Brothers As My Favorite Vocaloid Songs!

Yes, I know, please, quell your excitement. I know everyone was waiting for this one. I will take no criticisms or judgments, only enthusiastic additions.

Warning: While nothing stated in this post needs a full content warning, if anyone decides to look up these songs, many songs themselves have plenty of individual warnings, so please search with caution.

Lucifer:

Now, the song I think he'd actually enjoy listening to is Daughter of Evil. It's got tragedy behind it, the song is a bit more classical/waltzy, exactly the kind of thing he likes. However based off his vibes alone, I'm gonna say Honey I'm Home. Mostly because I love Ghost and Pals but also because religious trauma. And I know other people agree with me because I've seen fanart of it.

Mammon:

I think Mammon would listen to Sand Planet. Oo, or Bring it On. Do I have a detailed explanation as to why? Not really in so many words, but it just seems like something he'd listen to, I feel it in my bones. I will not be taking any questions. Now the song I think he embodies? Wildcard. I mean, the whole motif is about playing cards, it's upbeat and fast paced and I love it and I love Kasane Teto even more.

Levi:

I will physically fight anyone who doesn't think Levi listens to Rolling Girl at least once a day (I won't actually fight anyone but I feel very strongly on this matter). It helps him get through hard times but it also makes him cry. Which...same, Levi, same. But if Leviathan were to be a song itself, I'd have to pass it over to Volt Tackle by Deco*27. Pokémon, talking about fighting and struggling at first to capture someone's love? Oo, or Digital Girl. It's got him written all over it. (Or if I want to be sad, give him Anthropophobia)

Satan:

See, Satan is hard because I never know if I envision him listening to heavy metal or if he prefers soft melodies. And, I mean, I know he can like more than one genre at once, but picking THE song I think he'd listen to is hard... but if I'm going off of what I like as well as gut instinct... Abstract Nonsense. Now, selected off his character, I'd have to pick Hikari Yo. It's just very emotional and desperate and the poor demon boi is like that on the inside quite a lot. WAIT or Pathalogical Facade! Oo, lots of options for Good Ol Satan.

Asmo:

Easy, he'd love Gimmie×Gimmie and I don't think I need any further explanation on this opinion. I actually think Asmo would unironically like a lot of vocaloid songs, personally. And as for his songification, I handpick Aishite, Aishite, Aishite. And I know there's a lot of different people's interpretations to this song and everything and people get very... I guess territorial when it comes to this song (at least from specific corners I've seen) but it makes sense to me. It's a really popular song and it's hauntingly beautiful and it's about wanting to be loved and adored and this is MY post so I can say whatever I want about it.

Beel:

Beel is another one that's hard for me to pin down... I think his music taste (joke not intended) is rather eclectic. He probably actually has no real preference other than more upbeat songs to make it easier to work out to. In which case I get to pick whatever I wish. For him I would make him listen to Happy Halloween. I don't care what time of year it is, it's cute and upbeat and about getting treats and it's one of my favorite songs ever. Now one to embody him?... Goodness that's even harder. I would love to say Appetite of a People Pleaser, but Beel's not a people pleaser... I actually don't know! Maybe I am a sham of a fan. I am open to suggestions for my baby Beel.

Belphie:

You know I have to pick Tokyo Teddy Bear. This mans is too edgy not to listen to it all too often. Plus, it's a classic. And, you know I have to make this all even sadder by giving him the song Error. Because I like to make myself cry. And Belphie needs a good cry, let's be honest with ourselves.

I'm also going to add the Distortanist as an honorable mention for unhinged Lesson 16 Belphie.

[aturnoftheearth]

also y’know how some artists’ albums are like. a season. y’know oh this album is so autumn feeling or summer etc. well i don’t think lord huron has that obviously they have songs that fit that BUT i think they have albums for the times of day absolutely locked down:

lonesome dreams IS a morning album with its nature theme and its blue and tan colors and the feeling of setting out on the beginning of an adventure with songs like “ends of the earth” and “she lit a fire” and “i will be back one day” and i think “the ghost on the shore” is such an early sunrise song especially when paired with she lit a fire 🌅

strange trails is absolutely an afternoon album. TO ME. i think it stretches the bounds more than the other albums bc some songs are sooo night time themed BUT overall? “la belle fleur sauvage” and “meet me in the woods” and "cursed" and "fool for love" etc feel like wandering through the woods in the afternoon (maybe it’s autumn and the leaves are crunching or maybe it’s spring and everything is still dead except the new wildflowers or maybe it’s summer and everything is sooo green who knows) searching for SOMETHING. and also i think "way out there" and "louisa" both lead into late afternoon early evening really well 🏞️

vide noir is so obviously the night time album with the black and neon green colors and the range between lower waltzy sounding songs like “wait by the river” or “when the night is over” and the full blown speakers songs like “ancient names part 1&2” and “never ever” is so indicative of the way a night can start off really loud and rowdy but eventually settle into a quiet thing and the emerald star and the moon being so prominent…. in contrast to strange trails, vide noir is so firmly entrenched in night time it’s insane 🌃

long lost is such an evening album with the desert sunset vibe and the blue and orange color scheme and the theme of change and endings going with the last bits of sunlight signifying the end of the day and the uncertainty of tomorrow and time’s blur just being this beautiful amalgamation of sounds with the prominence of twenty long years' nostalgic twang oughhhhh my beautiful sunset album 🏜️

[captain-astors]

Furuta for 7, 12, and 18 for the character ask!

Ah, the creature.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Writing his perspective on his own existence like a person watching a show of some manner in fics! It leads to this most delightful, waltzy style to the wordsmithing that's just a joy to read later at night, and a little existential-feelings-inducing.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Despite having kept it in roughly this style for years, his hair does not want to part there at all. He has to re-comb it into position it every morning which is why Ishida draws it differently EVERY TIME—

I'm fine.

He asked Rize to help him with this once while they were in the garden together, she just kind of smiled and said he'd be an easy meal someday.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Admire? He's quite the mess of a person so if this is meant in the respect of "I think this is a relationship to be looked up to" that's tricky, so I'm going to interpret it in terms of "quality of writing in relation to my personal enjoyment." Obviously I like his dynamic with Koori but that exists 80% in my mind and my discussions with fawntastic, so I like his complicated relationship with his father and I'd love to know what the event was that set off his pure vitriol or if it was just growing quietly since the beginning. Patricide!!!

[tj-dragonblade]

Tagged by @seiya-starsniper, thank you! It's delightful to see new/different get-to-know-me questions circulating

Who was your first fictional crush?

Tygra from Thundercats. Had a friend when I was maybe ten and we'd hang out at recess and she'd make up Thundercats stories, and she loved picking on Tygra in these stories, so at some point I ended up going 'stop being mean to him, fuck it he's mine now' and I don't know if you'd call it a proper crush but there you go.

What’s the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour? …Purple

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day? Don't know that I've ever been scarred by fic, per se. But that MCU fic where they used pancake syrup as lube still drifts to mind every now and then

I’m coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me? Ahhhhhh, uhm, I don't really have the kitchen skills uh. I will corral Mr TJ to make you his signature chili and cornbread

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos? Kangaroos

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them? Danzo from Naruto perhaps - I mean it's not an 'oh my god I just love this guy' kind of thing as 'this dude is absolutely fascinating and compelling as a villain to the story who willingly makes himself the villain for the greater good and thereby maybe sees himself a sort of hero.' I enjoy him where most of fandom loves to just hate on him, and I definitely like him far better than any of the other villains that Naruto fandom adores

But also. Erik, Phantom of the Opera? Like yeah okay he's Got Issues he's murdered he's a stalker a manipulator etc etc but I have never felt inclined to root for anyone else in that story, sorry. He's probably the prime candidate if I was going to undertake to rewrite 'the story you think you know' a la Wicked or Maleficent

What would accompany your picture in the Burn Book in Mean Girls? I'm sorry I have never seen Mean Girls and don't know enough to answer this one

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom? Favorite as in current? Barring that 24-hour diner business (I had the impression it was worldwide but I could be wrong), probably alright. Favorite as in longest-standing? I'll probably be fine in the Trek-verse too

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre? I have not

Do you feel sorry for Medusa? Not something I'd ever thought about? But I am a fan of the trend of taking classic stories and reworking them from new perspectives, different points of view, with the idea that the narrative we're used to being given may not be how it actually went. So…I'm inclined to view her sympathetically?

Which song makes you think of your OTP? Uh, for current otp, maybe it would be Ville Valo's Olet Mun Kaikuluotain? Not even lyrically, just. Vibes. Soft waltzy quiet cozy romance vibes and that's what I want for them

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest? Depends on several factors but usually it will be if a song is firmly attached to a story in my head, where the story is built on or around the song. Like there was a whole multi-incarnation backstory I had in my head for Goujun/Tenpou at one point in my Saiyuki days, springboarded from Nightwish's Ghost Love Score to some degree, and for awhile that song would put me deep in the thought-spinning for that (which of course I never wrote)

Tagging, no obligation, tag me in your existing post as applicable: @danikatze, @zzoomacroom, @teejaystumbles, @academicblorbo, @staroftheendless, @chaosheadspace, @rooftopwreck

[queen-of-the-boos]

BAM ANOTHER ASK I STRIKE AGAIN

Band-aid 🩹 and Microphone 🎤 do not hold back when rambling give me everything in your head

Oh you asked for it.

1. If there was one thing about your f/o that you would want people to understand, what would it be?

Moon isn't pure evil. He's chaotic neutral. Yeah I said it. Most of my faves are. I'm not trying to woobify this robot I'm dead fucking serious he has so many neutral traits and it's like I'm the only one who sees them. I guess I'm insane? What else is new man. But anyway just.

He's programmed with security protocols and just wanted to catch Gregory. "Ouuu Gregory is just a kid" maybe so. But he's a fucking menace of a child. Look what happened to the others and the entire pizza plex because of that child. Granted the plex part was also because of a certain entity, but I digress. Moon was trying to stop Gregory in any way possible because it was in his programming.

THAT BEING SAID. He is also a meanie and silly. And you know what? I love that about him. I think he's allowed to be mean and be a little silly as a treat. If I was in someone's shadow all the time constantly being called bad and evil by even the official pizza plex merch, I'd snap too.

I think he just plays into the mean and bad role because it's all he's ever been known as. It's all he knows. Aside from how to take care of children. That can be an iffy mix. But yknow what? Contrary to popular and boring belief, some kids actually like villains better. I imagine there are little regulars of the daycare that adored Moon and he probably loved it. You know if he heard a little one say he was cool, he'd absolutely keep playing up and exaggerating his villainous tendencies. And that never became an actual threat until the whole virus incident.

Yknow something else. I like threatening Moon too. Yeah I said it. I don't care if he has a virus or not that won't stop me from loving every bit of him pre-present-or post virus. And no I don't think he's ever actually hurt a child before Gregory. I think he's scared them shitless but never laid a hand on one. I think he ENJOYED scaring them too. And I think that's fun sorry not sorry. Once again, being the opposite of Sun is all he really knows, and the virus just amped that up to 11.

Did you know that before they were programmed with the knowledge to care for children, they were both theater performers? Facts. It's no wonder poor Sun seems to have anxiety and Moon is so theatrical in his spooky personality. Sun always played the good guy and Moon was always the villain on stage. It's just their natural ways. Furthering my point.

Tldr; Moon isn't inheritly evil. He's morally grey. And programmed to be that way virus or not.

Wow that did get long. Sorry. Hm.

2. Does your f/o sing or play music? If so, how are they at their craft, and what's your favorite thing about it?

I hc Moonie both sings and has a music box for lulling people to sleep. They're a wonderful singer and I'd pay MONEY to fall asleep to their voice. Moon asmr when /hj

My favorite thing about it... Definitely when Moon plays waltzy tunes from his music box and asks me to dance with him- or when he does silly dances to his own music. He's really good at making up funny songs too! Some of them can be morbid, but I like morbid. I like him. I wish I could kiss him. "He doesn't have lips" shut UP yes he does they're right there carved on his big happy smile. Also idgaf I will kiss teeth like a sans selfshipper try me bitch (I'm sure you probably feel the same)

... I'm actually listening to the carousel theme for the first time and imagining dancing with Moonie under the daycare stars... But don't tell anyone....

[rabbitechoes]

wanted to post more over here and had the idea to do lil reviews for albums from years past. i'm gonna try to post a review for this series, as the name suggests, every thursday!! this week we're looking at a long overdue return to form for one of the greatest songwriters of all time: Oh Mercy by Bob Dylan!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

Oh Mercy - Bob Dylan

◇ release year: 1989 ◇ genres: singer-songwriter, pop rock, folk rock

The 80s were not kind to Bob Dylan at all, neither were the late 70s for that matter. There was a massive dip in quality after the relative comeback albums that were 1975’s Blood on the Tracks and 1976’s Desire. Following divorce proceedings with his wife in 1977, Dylan shifted his sound away from folk and into a more pop-rock direction for Street-Legal, one of his most uneventful records. Leading into the 80s, he had a born-again Christian phase and released a trilogy of terrible faith-based albums. His 1983 album Infidels was his return back to secular music, but it’s also not very great in the grand scheme of his catalog besides the opener “Jokerman.” Empire Burlesque, Knocked Out Loaded, and Down in the Groove were also some of his worst records and borderline embarrassing for an artist of his caliber. There are very few bright spots in that run aside from “Brownsville Girl” off of Knocked Out Loaded, but to get to that you gotta sit through his version of Kris Kristofferson’s “They Killed Him” which is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. Things were looking pretty bad for the once-iconic artist. His music was either terrible, boring, a parody of his best work, or all three in one. The deck was stacked against him, but in 1988 something special would happen. Bono would introduce Dylan to producer Daniel Lanois known for his work with Brian Eno, U2, and longtime Dylan collaborator Robbie Robertson. Dylan seemed determined to finally make a good album again and Lanois’ production work was exactly what he needed to refresh his sound.

Bob Dylan, 1989

You can hear that right away in the opener “Political World.” Despite it being one of Dylan’s clunkier songs from a lyrical perspective, that instrumentation is just perfect for him. That warm, jaunty sound provided by Dylan and a backing band consisting of various musicians from New Orleans. Many of which Lanois was working with at the time. These musicians match the anxious and chaotic themes of the song perfectly. Dylan sings about it being a hostile, political world and even touches on themes of spirituality in two lines towards the end. In those two lines alone, he provides a more interesting perspective on religion than he ever did on his spiritual albums. In the grand scheme of things, “Political World” doesn’t rank among the best Dylan songs, but it’s such a massive breath of fresh air from what he had been doing at the time. The next track cools things down with the waltzy, schmaltzy cut “Where Teardrops Fall.” Again, this isn’t a classic Dylan masterpiece, but it just sounds so good. Massive shoutout to John Hart’s saxophone on the outro. “Everything is Broken” kind of harkens back lyrically and musically to something Dylan might’ve written in decades past, but it’s given this fresh new coat of paint thanks to Lanois’ production. I love Brian Stoltz’s guitar work here. It’s never in your face, but it’s always present underneath everything. It creates this really cool dynamic with the rhythm section. The next track “Ring Them Bells” is one of the many times here where Dylan slows things down. This is where the album is at its best. The warm production not only brings out the best in the instrumentation but also in Dylan’s voice. This is the first album where he sounds like the weathered, legendary songwriter he was. The arrangement is sparse, with only guitar and keyboards accompanying Dylan’s voice and piano. It’s one of my favorite-sounding Dylan songs. As is the next track, “Man In the Long Black Coat.” What a triumph this song is. It’s simultaneously amazing and infuriating. He still had it in him to write an incredible, compelling song. Like the last track, the sound here is pretty sparse besides some ambiance setting keyboards from Malcolm Burn and Dylan’s guitar. His voice is in a lower register and it makes you just hang on to his every word. It helps that the melody is so memorable also. The song ends on such a mysterious note and it’s the most engaging he had sounded since Desire. 

“Most of the Time” builds upon that more weathered sound except this time with more layers to it instrumentally. This is another one of my favorite Dylan songs. It’s a heartbreak ballad that has such a simple structure and premise, but it’s so impactful. I love the way the electric guitar washes over the track. Every time it enters, it lingers for the perfect amount of time. It’s mixed so perfectly. “What Good Am I?” and “Disease of Conceit” are lulls in the tracklist, but they’re not bad. They just lack that energy of the three tracks prior. The latter is another clunky writing moment from Dylan on the record. His best moments on here lyrically are the songs about love, heartbreak, and other more personal topics. He’s made some iconic songs built around his ruminations on the world, but none of them are found here. Fortunately, the last two tracks are a step up. “What Was It You Wanted” might have the most tasteful implementation of a harmonica on any Bob Dylan record. I love Dylan’s usually harsh harmonica, but it’s hard to deny it can get a bit much. The music here is very subtle and it accompanies what seems to be Dylan’s meditations on his art up to that point. Perhaps the years of critical failures catching up to him as he asks the public “what was it you wanted?” If I was a fan of his during this time, the answer would be songs like this! “Shooting Star” is another ballad and another favorite of mine. Some have interpreted this song as being about Dylan’s disillusionment with spirituality and I think that’s an interesting read, but it could also just be a simple bittersweet ballad about love. Either way, this is a strong closer to the album.

Bob Dylan, 1988

Oh Mercy was an incredible return to form for Dylan and Lanois’ production brought out the best in these songs. It sounded like Dylan was writing with a purpose again, he was inspired. While overall this isn’t his strongest crop of songs from a lyrical standpoint, the execution here takes these songs to the next level. Ideally, this would be the start of a career renaissance for the legendary singer-songwriter, but seeing as how his next album would be the dreadful Under the Red Sky that wasn’t the case. Thankfully, Lanois would collaborate with Dylan again 8 years later for Time Out of Mind, yet another one of his comeback albums.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading <3

[puntointerrogativo]

I was running errands after work and ended up in a shop that had classical music playing, something waltzy. The old reenactment group instincts took over and I was sort of walking-dancing around the shop, keeping time with my free hand, when I pirouette around a display and see an older gentleman straight out directing the imaginary orchestra. We looked at each other for a second and burst out laughing.

We ended up having a pleasant conversation about music waiting in queue while the other shoppers kept shooting us glances clearly wondering “What’s up with these smiley, dancing loonies?”

[yorkcalling]

New Music: Eric Hagen - Sometimes

American singer-songwriter Eric Hagen returns with another country-tinged tune titled Sometimes. By Jane Howkins Sometimes is a pretty slow burner, featuring a waltzy tempo reminiscent of the style of country-rock that became popular in the 60s and 70s. As well as the pretty guitar arpeggios and the cool rhythm section, there’s also a lovely organ to be heard in the background, adding something…

[susielesbianism]

Ok but. Waltz signatures in Deltarune are my beloathed. I'm most definitely just looking too far deep into it but I am looking at all of them and wondering if they're connected somehow.

The Circus, Lantern, and Dialtone are kinda easy to connect- jevil and spamton are secret bosses with a fixation on freedom, and seam seems to know the same truth they do.

Most of Ralsei's songs so far have waltz in them. Legend, Empty Town, Castle Town- he's a waltzy person, for sure. This one is just a Ralsei thing I think.

As for the other songs with waltzes, I have freaking idea if there's something connecting it all or of I'm just going insane. A Town Called Hometown. Acid Tunnel of Love. Berdly. The second half of Queen. Bluebird of Misfortune. I want tear my hair out I'm like 93% sure that there's nothing more to it and that it's just me being paranoid but at the same time I can't help but be sus.

Yeah, a part of me wants to say it’s probably nothing, given songs like Berdly also having this characteristic, but at the same time it feels there are too many songs with a 3/4 time signature that are associated with … deeper stuff in the game???… for it not to be something.

[monotonous-minutia]

Brief history of Les contes d’Hoffmann edits (the short short version) + Summaries!

Kudos to anyone who gets through all of this, but I recommend at least reading the first part if you plan on watching this opera next week for Operablr Pride Month. It will help you find/choose a version to watch!

For the differences in the summaries to make sense, we need a little background info.

The very very very short version of why there are so many edits:

Offenbach died before he could finish the score. Most of the prologue, Olympia, and Antonia acts were done; the Giulietta act and the Epilogue were not, which is why those are the parts that vary the most across the different edits. Additionally, much of the material that varies belongs to Nicklausse/the Muse. The reason for this is that the mezzo in this role cancelled last minute, and the replacement didn’t have time to learn the entire role before the performance, so the Muse monologues, Violin Aria, and much of Nicklausse’s dialogue were cut; the ending monologue was replaced with spoken speech. Since the premiere—which is another story for another time—several conductors, directors, and music scholars have attempted to reconstruct the opera based on Offenbach’s drafts and notes, and in some cases their personal preferences. Additional shoutout to good old Guiraud, who finished a lot of the orchestration that Offenbach didn’t get to, which is some of the only stuff to survive most edits.

Also, I should say: apparently in addition to there being no definitive edition of this opera, there’s no definitive history either. I swear every book/article I read about it says something different so this is the best I could do. So if there are any inaccuracies, apologies in advance.

Now there are a lot of people that have tinkered with this opera, but there are a few main ones that compiled what are dubbed “critical editions,” because they did a bunch of research and a lot of people end up using edits based on what they did.

In chronological order, those critical edits are:

Choudens: The shortest version, and one most people are familiar with.

Oeser (1): Longer with a lot of missing material added, also fairly well-known.

Oeser (2): Even longer with a ton of new stuff added! (My personal fave but pretty rare)

Kaye/Keck: Uses some of the material rediscovered by Oeser, but also adds a ton of other stuff, particularly in the Giulietta act, as well as re-orchestrating significant portions. Not many of these either.

and apparently there’s another one called “OG Offenbach” or something like that but as far as I can tell there haven’t been any recordings of it or much about what it looks like, but from what I gather it’s fairly similar to that last one, with some adjustments based on yet more new-old material discovered.

And, of course, every single production I’ve ever seen/heard puts its own spin on things! So while most have the general formats as seen below, literally no two are exactly alike.

A bit more detail on the versions:

Choudens

This is one of the first people to edit the material after it was butchered for the world premiere. It’s the short version of the opera with the most material missing, though to be fair he did improve upon what it had been before. His is (unfortunately) the edit most people are familiar with:

Prologue: Chorus of Spirits of wine and beer. Lindorf monologues about stealing Stella from Hoffmann. Students party in the tavern and ask Hoffmann to tell a stoy; he sings the famous "Ballad of Klein-Zach." When taunted by Lindorf about his love life, Hoffmann decides to tell everyone the tales of his Three Great Loves. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann is in love with the “daughter” of Spalanzani, his science professor, unaware that she is a robot. Coppélius sells Hoffmann magic glasses that make him believe Olympia is a real human, despite Nicklausse's insistence that she is a mechanical doll. Olympia is presented to the guests at her coming-out party; they marvel over her. Hoffmann serenades her and dances with her, but Coppélius arrives to take her apart, and Hoffmann realizes he’s been in love with a robot the whole time. Act II: Giulietta. Choudens put the Giluietta act second instead of Antonia. At a party, Nicklausse and Giulietta sing the famous Barcarolle; Hoffmann counters with an aria about how love is futile. Nicklausse tries to warn Hoffmann to be careful of Giulietta's lover, Schlémil, but Hoffmann of course does not listen. Dapertutto arrives and makes a deal with Giulietta to trick Hoffmann. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and steals his reflection. When Hoffmann realizes his reflection is gone, we get the famous Septet (the only thing I’m grateful to Choudens for). Afterwards, Hoffmann kills Schlémil  to get the key to Giulietta’s room, but Giulietta leaves with Pitichinaccio instead. Act III: Antonia. The singer Antonia is sick and it’s her singing that is killing her. Hoffmann, who’s been looking for her for months after Antonia and her father moved specifically so he couldn’t find them, has finally found her. They promise to run away and get married, but before they can, Dr. Miracle forces Antonia to sing until she literally dies. Epilogue: Hoffmann has finished his stories. Nicklausse makes the connection that all three ladies are actually metaphors for the real-life Stella. Hoffmann yells at him. Stella walks in on a drunk Hoffmann who mistakes her for his lovers; she leaves in a huff with Lindorf. Nicklausse reveals his identity as the Muse (in spoken dialogue) and asks for Hoffmann’s devotion. Hoffmann gets a reprise of his Giulietta act aria, but this time committing himself to the Muse and his art.

Oeser (1)

This one, which is also very common, isn’t Oeser’s *actual* edit but combines his with the Choudens one, so it has a lot more material than the previous one, but not as much as the longer Oeser version.

Prologue: Very similar to Choudens except we get the Muse’s opening monologue explaining their motivations (winning Hoffmann and saving him from Stella) before the rest of the action. Act I: Olympia. Pretty much the same but sometimes Nicklausse gets a different aria. Act II: Antonia (which here comes before Giulietta). Almost exactly the same as Choudens’, but Nicklausse gets to sing a lovely aria about love and art which is really a love song for Hoffmann. Act III: Giulietta. Pretty much the same, except it’s the third act instead of the second act. Epilogue: Starts pretty much the same, until the Hoffmann/Stella confrontation which is now put to music. Then we get a reprise of Klein-Zach followed by the drinking chorus, after which the Muse reappears. The opera ends with the Muse’s closing monologue and chorus about how Hoffmann’s suffering will make him a greater artist.

Oeser (2)

Pretty similar to the short Oeser version described above. The most dramatic changes are really just in the Giulietta act, though there’s some extra material in Olympia too (that one waltzy duet I’m always gushing about) and sometimes more sung material for the Muse in the epilogue as well. Oeser’s longer Giluietta act: Has the same basic plot points, except instead of going right from Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta to Giulietta seducing Hoffmann, we get a gambling scene where Giulietta serenades the guests as they play cards, during which each of the characters gets a little moment. Then Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, and she sings sadly about her dismal situation which leads into her seduction of Hoffmann, and the rest of the act ends pretty much the same, except sometimes there’s no Septet.

Now, on to possibly the wildest of them all:

Kaye/Kecke

This one is rare; there’s only a few recordings that even attempt it, and very few get it to the letter of what these two scholars compiled. Once again, most of the changes are in the Giulietta act and Epilogue; the only real changes in the previous acts are in the orchestration of some parts. Kaye Giulietta Act: Starts pretty much the same, with the Barcarolle and Hoffmann’s derisive aria, and Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta. We get a gambling scene here too, but it’s not as long or dramatic and Giulietta gets a different aria. Hoffmann kills Schlémil for the same reasons, but it happens before Giulietta steals his reflection; essentially she’s bribing him before she pretends to fall in love with him. Hoffmann gets in trouble for killing Schlémil, and in a fit of rage tries to kill Giulietta, but kills Pitichinaccio instead. Kaye Epilogue: It starts with a chorus for the students kinda trying to talk Hoffmann down from his crazy stories. We get the same Nicklausse-Hoffmann confrontation, and the one with Stella, and a reprise of Klein-Zach, but in addition to the drinking chorus repeating we get a kind of ominous reprise of the “Glou! Glou!” chorus from the prologue, after which the Muse enters and we get the same ending monologue but it’s got some extra pieces.

So the short short version ended up pretty long huh? Anyway, I hope it's helpful!

If you want more detailed summaries to follow along with when you watch the opera, see below!

More detailed summaries!

Choudens

Choudens is one of the the first critical edits of the opera and, despite the fact that it’s been discredited multiple times, is still inexplicably used a lot and is what a lot of people think of when they think of this opera.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with his friend Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the song, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird. Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric saleman, enters and displays his various wares, including a variety of contraptions but primarily eyes. He manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalazani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for what she truly is and is

humiliated. Act II: Giulietta (Choudens is the only edit that has Giulietta second instead of third) Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria that gets reprised later for a different reason (keep an eye out for that). Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or "Sextet and Chorus"). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Act III: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to find Antonia for him. When the servant leaves to do so, Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that

Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him

two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann, only to find him dead drunk. He mistakes her for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. The students all leave and Hoffmann is alone with Nicklausse, who reveals himself to be the Muse of Poetry. The Muse declares her devotion to Hoffmann and asks for his in return. Hoffmann, hearing this, repeats his song from the Giulietta act, this time declaring his love for the Muse and promising to return to his art.

Oeser (1)

The short Oeser version is the other Most Commonly Seen edit (I think it’s about a tie). It's similar to the Choudens edit in many ways, with some significant additions, which are in blue below: Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to

join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia (When Oeser made his edit, he rearranged the acts to their original order, placing Antonia before Giulietta.) Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a

party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse, serenading Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist.

Oeser (2)

The long Oeser version (my personal favorite) follows the short one fairly closely; most of the major revisions are in the Giulietta act. This one is pretty rare—I’ve only found one video (which is a terrible production unfortunately) and one audio recording (which is the greatest audio recording of this opera that currently exists). New material in green text:

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius

enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance.

Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diablical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. She and Dapertutto join the card players. Hoffmann is losing miserably, much to Nicklausse’s chagrin. Giulietta serenades the guests with a song about love, not-so-subtly aimed at Hoffmann. We get a pretty epic chorus as the game goes on. [Sometimes we also get and aria from Schlémil about having lost his shadow.] Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, giving Nicklausse his cards and asking him to finish the game for him. Nicklausse protests and tries to follow Hoffmann, but Dapertutto holds him back. Hoffmann joins Giulietta in her room. Giulietta despairs over her feeling of being trapped and suffering. Nicklausse comes in and tells Hoffmann to get ready to leave and that he’s coming back for him. He leaves, and Giulietta tells Hoffmann he should as well, but he refuses to leave her. Giulietta tells him to steal the key from Schlémil that he uses to lock her up at night, saying if he does so, she will devote herself to him. Hoffmann agrees to do so and sings his aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus) [sometimes the Septet is left out in longer Oeser edits]. Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover, Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. She calls upon the Spirits of Wine and Beer, who she says have aided her in her efforts; they repeat their chorus and disperse. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but

will make him an even greater

artist.

Kaye/Kecke

the Kaye/Kecke version is the most recent critical edition and hailed by many as the most definitive (aside from that “OG Offenbach” one I can’t find anything about). There are actually very few “true” Kaye productions out there, but a few that attempt it. A lot of the changes are just in the orchestration and, in the spoken-dialogue version, a lot of dialogue; the vast majority of the plot and action stay the same. The big differences are in the Giulietta act. Again, I’ll use some new-color text (orange) to indicate differences between this and previous editions.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). (also he sometimes mockingly serenades Olympia before his other aria.) Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve

the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards

Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diabolical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. (Here’s where the plot deviates, and the Oeser parts from earlier don’t appear at all.) The guests return looking for Giulietta, who sings a song for them as they play cards. Hoffmann gets distracted by Giulietta and gives Nicklausse his cards. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and convinces him to duel Schlémil to get the key to her bedroom. Hoffmann does and kills Schlémil. Nicklausse finds Hoffmann and, learning about the duel, begs Hoffmann to leave with him. Hoffmann refuses, wanting to see Giulietta. Nicklausse leaves to find a means of transportation. Giulietta returns and continues to seduce Hoffmann, who falls for her completely. She asks for his reflection as a keepsake; he’s helpless to resist her. Dapertutto returns; Giulietta relinquishes Hoffmann to him. Nicklausse returns as well, in time to find Hoffmann has lost his reflection. Once again he begs Hoffmann to leave, but Hoffmann refuses, still insistent that Giulietta loves him. The chorus returns, mocking Hoffmann for being duped. The police arrive to arrest Schlémil’s killer. Furious, Hoffmann attempts to stab Giulietta, but misses and kills Pitichinaccio, who is revealed to be her real lover. Giulietta despairs over his body, and Nicklausse finally manages to drag Hoffmann away. (There is no Septet in Kaye edits.) Epilogue Back at the tavern, the students sing a disbelieving chorus as Hoffmann finishes his tales, telling him to come back to reality. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down. He then encourages everyone (including himself) to get blackout drunk. The chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer from the prologue returns, creepily overlapping with the students’ drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song, mockingly dedicating it to Lindorf, before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. (Sometimes Stella gets an aria here, basically telling Hoffmann “you don’t know what you’re missing by rejecting me.”) Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist. (Sometimes the final chorus is extended, with comments from the other characters announcing that the future is his.)

And there you have it!

As mentioned before, there are a ton of variations on all of these. Choudens edits and short Oeser edits are often very similar, but even they will have random chunks cut here and there, sometimes move things around, and of course it’s always a toss-up which aria Niclausse is going to get in Act I and if he’ll get the Violin Aria.

If you got to the end of this, kudos. Seriously. I could barely make it through, and I elected to write the thing.

[raindownforme]

These Four Years

Ted Nivison x reader [They/them x reader]

Second Semester Sophomore Year

“Okay, Theodore, I want you to move your hand a bit to the right.” Ted’s face grew pinker by the second as he followed the choreographer’s instructions. He gingerly laid a hand on y/n’s waist while the other gripped their hand tighter. y/n tried not to laugh at him, but it seemed to be the trickiest part of the job.

“I won’t bite.” Ted’s blush got darker and y/n laughed harder. The awkward boy had begun to grow taller than y/n now, just tall enough he had to lean slightly to make conversation.

“Shut up or I will.” The choreographer physically grabbed Ted’s hands and moved them around, doing the same with y/n.

“Now. Couples, we want our main characters highlighted, but not drowned out. Slow dancing, quiet conversation, and staying put. All good?” A chorus of highschool students shouted out in agreement. The choreographer nodded and the waltzy music started up again.

y/n swayed to the music, taking Ted with them. y/n swirled themself around and moved back and forth in their little square of dance room. They watched Ted stare at the ground, stepping on y/n’s feet. “Look up dummy. Look at me.”

“No. This is already as terrible as it can get.”

“It’ll only get worse if you don’t actually put attention. Look up.” y/n let go of Ted’s hand to very take Ted’s chin and guide it to where he was forced to look at them. His blush deepened. “There.”

“A-Alright.” Ted resumed the dance. He shuffled his feet around in a box formation, gently sliding around by the ball of his foot. Ted could hear the actors onstage talking and repeating lines over and over, but all he could focus on was how y/n hand felt in his. How close they were to him. How they swayed to the music and danced under the theatrical lighting.

“Ted? Buddy?” Ted snapped back into focus to see y/n stepping away from him slowly.

“Oh shit did I do something-?”

“No no. It’s just, there’s more dances to learn. What were you thinking about up there? So distracted.” y/n smiled sweetly at him. “Come on. New position.”

Ted allowed y/n to move around and reposition his hands and arms. He ended with his hands on y/n’s waist and y/n’s hands gently cupping the side of his face. The music picked up again and the stage lights changed to more purple and blue tones to set the mood.

“So, how’s your day?”

“Pretty average.” y/n glanced off to look at another couple dancing. “Watched a squirrel get run over.”

“By who?”

“City bus.” y/n spun both them and Ted around, flipping roughly 180 degrees.

“I think I was expecting a school bus instead.”

“No, they only kill rats.” Ted snorted, trying his best not to laugh at y/n’s remark. “Oh please that was not that funny.”

“I’m not trying to-“ Ted stumbled over himself, falling into y/n. “Shut up!”

“You shut up.” y/n tried to be quiet as they started laughing too.

“Alright everyone thats it for the day.” Everyone stopped dancing as the director made announcements on notes and areas that needed to be fixed, and congratulating everyone on an otherwise good job. “Be here 3:45 tomorrow. Sharp.”

Ted and y/n stood together as everyone walked towards the classroom behind the stage. They were still holding hands. “Well. Good night I guess.”

“Yeah. Goodnight.” Ted waited just a moment before letting go of y/n’s hand. He then walked into the back classroom, leaving y/n alone on the stage.

First semester of junior year

[reonagisolos]

Falling for Ya! - the fanfic I wrote at 5 am because i listened to the teen beach song once

Neither knew how exactly they transitioned from straight transitional screwing monthly to occasional movie–roleplay–fuckathon, but they did, and sometimes, it'd get interesting. Last time he was here, it was by Stolas's request that they spice up the bedroom with role-play, which Blitz himself was neither unfamiliar nor ignorant about.

Plot-twist though because, Stolas? He chooses strange topics for this shit. Sex has ended in pretty much the same way it always has, (hot, rough, and horny) but the build–up to the fucking was always something else. Mail-man fucking his mail? Gardener plowing the ground? A whole-ass musical set he had to ask Moxxie the name of after it was over? He'd feel sorry for whatever niche porn search thing he'd use to get off when he wasn't here.

Today was one of those role-play type days, more specifically, another musical theme. He wasn't sure on what musical exactly—All he knew was that it was a lot less ''old'' than his usual picks for this type of thing.

The room had been especially prepped to look like some tacky tropical resort, complete with fake palm trees and even sand(?) with a fake beach and picnic set. Farther to the left was the television remeniscent of its time, while the movie that had been playing earlier for reference was paused.

Yknow, he would've been flattered if it weren't for the fact that his rich ass was just doing this as an elaborate way to satisfy his need for immersion.

"So this was the scene you wanted to recreate? Seems pretty stupid," Blitz says in the midde of a dance scene, much to Stolas's dismay.

"W-Well! It may be er—Stupid, yes." Okay, so perhaps watching vintage musicals as per request of his daughter mightve led him to fantasizing about it relentlessly until he could do it with his dear Blitzy, "—But I think it would be fun," Stolas responds, flippantly hiding behind his feathers, "Blitz?"

"...What?" He asks, already wearing the tropical shirt that the other had prepared earlier. "Just doing whatevers weird kinks you're into."

Blitz takes his waist and drags the other up, forgetting that there's about three feet between the two of them. Realising his mistake, he drags a chair and stands so they're at least eye level. He carefully puts his right hand on the bird's waist, and keeps his hand around his own.

"Ah—yes! Of course. I had um—Forgotten, " Stolas responded, too dumbfounded to say anything more. Though honestly, he wished that wasn't the only reason he'd agreed.

"Alright, " he says, as he grabs him by the waist, looking at him with half lidded eyes.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

The music whirrs gently as both prepare for the start. Right now, the time was perfect, it had just turned into the evening, the stars shining brightly underneath the low light in the bedroom.

Then the song started it's intro. And past that. By the time the song ended they were still frozen in place.

"...You don't really have a plan for this don't you?"

"To be fair, the movie I was referencing was made in the 2010s—Not exactly the most graceful, waltzy era you've been fantasizing about."

Stolas sighed. He was right.

"Let's try this again."

Except this time, he'll lead their rendezvous more gracefully than his partner did a minute ago.

The music starts again, and he wastes no time is wasted on awkwardly standing around. Blitz starts swaying to the music, and his partner can't help but laugh.

"What?" He asked, still swaying in tempo with the other.

"Nothing! You just, look good."

"Pfft—Course, my petite little ass is irresistible apparently!"

Stolas grins, and he's hoping on everything that he's not dreaming when he sees Blitz smile. The music picks up in speed, so he takes the opportunity to take one of his hands and twirls both of them around the bedroom, still eternally swaying his hips.

Blitz decides to take the initiative and with the grace of a succubus doing a blowjob, grabs Stolas's waist and dips. Really, the gesture would've been more romantic if he was tall enough to reach his eyes, to which he was not, much to the avian's amusement.

He tries again, but to no avail, falling off the table and crashing both of them into the poor beach towels that had to witness their fall. Stolas chuckles in–between choking on sand while Blitz grumbles to the side.

"Blitzy! I know you're the dominant one in this relationship, but I think I can handle this~" He grip hardens as they both step side to side, hips bumping into each other while swaying to the beat.

Blitz takes the opportunity to flail his arms up when he being lifted up into the air, giggling like some stupid schoolgirl

"Hey!" It reminds him of the feeling of riding on a horse okay? Flighty and free and a surprising amount of fun and such. Don't judge him.

They keep twirling and swaying, Stolas in particular feeling giddy throughout the entire thing, his heart skipping on every twirl, every awkward spin and accidental fall.

Blitz just follows his beat, contently taking steps from one place to another, occasionally getting dipped by Stolas, who's trying his best to keel himself eye to eye with Blitz.

"It feels right like this, being with him."

The music eventually slows, so Stolas takes the opportunity to make the dance more of an embrace, with only the occasional sway. Blitz makes no effort to stop him.

"Well...did you enjoy that Blitz?" Stolas says through bated breath as he pulls away on one side to cup his cheek.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," Blitz responds through a smile.

Eyes half-closed and mouth half open, Blitz reaches in to kiss him, and it's gentle. So gentle in fact, that by the time he pulls away, he wouldn't have been sure if he actually kissed him in the first place. Still, it feels right like this.

"Do you want to finish the movie?"

"Hell yeah."

One thing eventually leads another, and it's another night of fucking and screaming and it's a mess, and there's sand everywhere and anything resembling beach trunks or, floral shirts are off, but it's not the same.

For them, maybe that was alright. Change isn't always bad y'know?