#something something “better late than never”
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simpjaes · 2 days ago
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ELABORATE ON OBSESSED!WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU WALK ON!HOUSEHUSBAND JAKE PLEASE!!!!!! MY MIND IS GONNA EXPLODE – byeol
i'll be the husband jake plug no worries. warnings: jake is suppppppppperrrrrrrr needy omg.
It's normal, natural to him to do these things.
You're so tired after a long day, he gets it. the days feel longer to him sometimes though, despite your tired feet and aching back. You're his wife, he needs you.
So what if he's unemployed? He's employed to you. Will do anything for you. everything for you. happily and willingly, with so much love in his eyes every single fucking time he hears that lock on the door click open.
Time to reiterate. He needs you.
It's been weeks. He gets it. Stress, big promotion you're going for or something. He can't say he cares too much lately due to the neglect he's been dealing with.
After all the cleaning, he massages you, bathes you, tucks you in, kisses you gently, and doesn't dare ask for more from you. After all, you're expected to do so much, from so many people. Not him. Not ever. Until now. He's a man. For three days now he's been trying to remind you. Trying all sorts of subtle tricks. Some blatant ones too. Generous groping that goes rejected. A few heavy makeouts dwindling to a pop kiss and a tired "goodnight." More subtle ones, where he simply tries to dress well for you, clean far better than usual, make your favorite foods. He knows it's not because you don't want him but...you're so stressed. He could kill two birds with one stone if you'd just... "Baby." He had said last night, sinking under the blankets and prying your legs apart. "Just rest, this is all i need." He continued, implying that he would be perfectly happy helping you relax with some bedtime head. You had closed your legs on him, pinching your brows together with the same stressed out face. All day today, his brows have been equally knitted together. Stressed. Fucking horny. Is it cringe for him to do this? Yes. Does he care? No. Fuck no. And so, you come home just like any other day to the smell of dinner. It's sweet smelling, which is an indication that your husband wants something. Never does he serve dessert for dinner, but tonight feels like a welcome change because everything else just started not only feeling, but tasting too mundane. You were more surprised when you werent greeted by Jake at the door. He didn't take your things, or slide your jacket off of you. Which, that's fine. You don't need him to wait on you hand and foot. He just tends to like doing that for you anyway... You search in curiosity for him, following the sound of clanking pots and pans. The sound would give you a headache if it weren't for the image of him as you enter the kitchen. There he is. Hair pinned back with one of your headbands, apron on... only an apron. Cock lending quite a large tent as he turns to you. You know he's trying to smile genuinely, but you see a hint of pain behind his eyes. Desperate pain. Almost like he's begging you for something. Anything. And he is begging. Only when he drops to his knees and looks up at you with those eyes do you recognize how terribly you've been neglecting him. So much so that you didn't even let him eat you out, which wouldn't have expected anything on your part aside from an orgasm. This moment feels almost emasculating for him, you can imagine. Like you've deprived him of everything he needs from you in order to maintain order in this household. Arguably, you have deprived him. You can tell by how big his cock looks peeking from the hem of the apron, and those sad glassy eyes looking at you as if this is a last resort. "Baby, ple-" Jake starts to plead on the floor, the dessert he was cooking long forgotten. You're speechless at the image, finally feeling a tingle between your legs for the first time in months. You feel so apologetic alongside the tingle, realizing how much suffering he must have gone through to be doing this. After all, there's no way in hell you could have satiated this need within you without him. How he's managed to do it all this time is beyond you. ''Jake," You interrupt him, dropping your hands to his cheeks and tilting his face further up to you. "What do you need?" You see those glassy eyes become more tearful, probably from happiness by now. No words and no apologies need to be said at this moment. He sees your realization, and understands the lack of seeing to his needs to an extent. But this... this can't happen again. Nothing is to be said after that when Jake immediately goes for your pants, missing the taste of you so badly. He was right in knowing that even just the smell of you could satiate him. And it does, his cock heavy and leaking just from the sensation of the apron rubbing against him paired with the scent of your pussy that has been long neglected.
And he devours you, getting off at least twice there on the kitchen floor with his palm desperately working himself to each high. You could tell he didn't want you to feel like you needed to do anything for him but...let him. God, fuck, you feel so guilty.
So you make up for it. Right here, sliding down on him raw, letting the mess he's made of himself make a mess of you too.
"Baby, wait-" Jake chokes, working against his words by helping you slide down on him entirely. "Fuck, you're-"
"Shh." You sigh deeply, realizing how much you needed this too. "Just keep going," He does. Fucking you so desperately that you believe he cums in you at least twice from you adjusting alone, messing your thighs with sticky fluids, the kitchen floor, and himself. So much of it, you're so full of it already. Plan B isn't such a difficult thing to buy anyway. Especially after he chooses to keep fucking you, as if he worries he'll never get to do it again.
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night-raven-tattler · 3 days ago
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Just... Just Mc asking Jamil, Trey, Idia and Sebek to do the "painting your nails with your s\o eye color"
I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH THIS AND WOULD BE SO CUTE IN YOUR WRITING (。´Д⊂)
-🌙
Hello 🌙! This is an adorable request and Mx Tattly lives for this kind of romantic fluff. Thank you for your request!
Nailing that new look!
Characters: Trey, Jamil, Idia, Sebek × GN!Reader (romantic, separate)
Warnings: minor chapter 6 spoilers, mentions of food in Trey's part, implied body issues in Idia's part
By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.
-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
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Trey was hard at work, his hands kneeding into the dough and his arms flexing with strain
Despite his physical effort, he was in high spirits, smiling to himself as he looked at the dough in his hands- or, better said, his hands in the dough
His nails were, for the first time in his life, adorning nail polish
But not any nail polish, but one the color of your eyes
Cater was there when you showed Trey a thread on Magicam that showed a cute trend, lovers painting their nails with the color of each other's eyes, and how much you seemed to enjoy the idea
But you didn't dare to ask outright - maybe Trey wasn't comfortable with that kind of thing, which you respected
Yet, the moment you were gone, Trey turned towards Cater and asked him to help find nail polish that matched your eyes and his eyes...
Trey's smile grew even fonder at the memory as he finished with the dough, putting it aside to rest
He was working on some rolls he could hopefully greet you with later...
"Someone's been in a good, spoiling mood lately."
Your voice rung pleasantly in the wing and in Trey's mind as you took a bite out of his rolls
"They're my favorite flavor, too. How did you know?"
Trey grinned as he saw you wipe your mouth the cream with a tissue, his eye color complimenting your nails quite nicely
"I guess I was really lucky this time, huh?"
You huffed in amusement at his answer, both of you knowing he was not honest
But he was smiling in content with the way you almost seemed to show off your nails whenever he looked at you
And you also looved very pleased with yourself when he reached to wipe some cream off your face with his thumb, his nails clearly showing off the color of your eyes
Despite it being a trend, it was like a secret between the two of you
A discreet exchange of words of love between the two of you
『••✎••』
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The Scarabia boy didn't really keep up with trends, and internet culture memes usually flew over his head
But you never cared about that, and always explained things to Jamil in group settings so he wouldn't feel too out of the loop
Yet, he kept hearing you talk about this one trend with your friends, a trend you yet had to explain to him, which made him curios enough to look it up himself
As he was reading the first article that popped up, a small devious grin started adorning his face
The master of always being one step ahead of you was cooking up a new way to surprise you...
A usual, silent cuddle session in the evening turned into him taking your hand and bringing it to his lip
His lips on your knuckles brought a small stutter to your heart, making it forget how to beat for a second
You could swear Jamil was a cuddlebug the moment every window and door was closed, and he seemed to get high off of the feeling of having you all to himself
"Your hands are very different than mine."
If your entire attention weren't focused on Jamil, you almost would've missed his words
"Really? How so?"
As to show you the differences, Jamil brought your hands in front of you, putting his palm and aligning his fingers to fit yours
His hands were more calloused, his fingers were quite longer, and his nails were well taken care of
"...When did you start painting your nails, love?"
He smiled at your, a mix of affection and mischief
"Only recently. I felt the need to try something new. Something... different."
It was a peculiar color choice for nail polish, and it didn't go with his general aesthetic at all
"Maybe we should paint our nails together. What do you think?"
His question caught you off guard, but you excitedly accepted his offer
Jamil was a very skilled person, and he definitely knew how to do nails properly
Much to your surprise, he simply reached towards his nightstand and took a small bottle out of his drawer
"You have the color picked and everything, huh? You little..."
Your tease died on your throat when you saw the color of the polish, and suddenly it clicked into your mind
You looked at Jamil, affection and admiratyion and amusement all dancing in your eyes together
"How did you know...?"
He only gave you a satisfied grin, making you blush slightly
Jamil has his way of always surprising you, if always catching you off guard in one way or another, but this was beyond what you expected
Jamil was always so thoightful, so careful with you, and it made your heart swell
...and the payback in kisses almost infinite
『••✎••』
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The Shroud family was forced to carry a curse, a punishment extending through generations for the mistakes of just one reckless Shroud
The overly fast blot dissolution leads to his trademark fire-like blue hair, and the blue coloration of his lips, his nails and fingertips
Looking down at his hands and seeing that blue can be hard sometimes, seeing that blue and the weight he's been forced to carry
But the first time he looked down and saw a differently color he kind of jumped until he remembered what happened
He saw every single one of the Magicam videos you sent him, and he has been aware of the trend way before you were
"You can't say that this isn't a bit cringe..."
He pouts as his left hand is receiving a much needed manicure from you while he does his dailies on his phone
"Maybe a little bit, but you still agreed to it."
Your smooth hands hold his gently as you apply the nail polish of your eye color, while you already have that golden hue adorning your nails
Idia grumbled to himself a little bit, his hair glowing more pink the longer you held his hand
Once the first hand was done, you let it go and pushed it towards him
"Careful to not smudge it. What do you think?"
Idia took a few moments to examine his newly painted nails, trying to will his brain into not finding it weird to not see his natural, blue tinted nails
Now they carried a color he could only describe as full of life, as full of something other than dread
And, somehow, they made his hands look more... appealing, like he didn't see the same weirdly long, boney fingers attached to a palm way too narrow
Of course the color of you looked weird on his fingers, but it was the kind of weird that was quirky more than anything
He pursed his lips, his hair turning more pink as he struggled to find the words to say
"...This is the kind of cringe I can get behind."
His voice came out as more of a mumble, a small admission instead of his sigh of defeat whenever you got him to do something coupley like this
You offered him a small smile, pulling his phone out of his other hand and resting it on his lap as you worked on his other hand
"Glad to hear that."
『••✎••』
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"Why would I want to paint my nails in the color of your eyes?"
His question sounded rude to some, even as if he was questioning why he'd want to indulge in something so silly
But by this point in your relationship you knew Sebek well enough to know he was simply genuinely confused by the trend you just showed him
"It's a form of... showing devotion, I suppose. We paint each other's nails as the color of each other's eyes to show that, no matter what, we carry a small part of the other with us at all times."
Sebek let those words sink in before he nodded
"So this is why you want to do this with me?"
You nodded as both of your cheeks grew rosy at the small proposal
"I also thought it would be really cute, you know..."
You added, and Sebek mumbled something about "not needing to do cute as a guard", but he loved to see you happy, so he relented
The next day, you were in town, shopping for the nail polish
And, to your surprise, you had to help Sebek make the difference between crimson and emerald... huh
Once you picked the colors, you were ready to leave, yet...
Your eyes lingered on a certain color, a shade of lime that came close to yellow, vibrant that reminded you of a certain heir
"Hey, Sebek."
Sebek hummed at you when you caught his attention, looking down at the bottle you picked up
"This shade is close enough to Malleus' eye color, don't you think?"
It took a few moments for him to catch on, and he was... taken aback by your consideration
And the two of you left the shop as he sung your praises for your observation and quick thinking
Sebek was the type of person who enjoyed symmetry, a clean and neat look
Belief that lately has been contradicted by his mismatched nail polish
When anyone asks, he gets slightly embarassed and stuttery, but to him it's a proud display of devotion
The eye color of his liege adorns his left hand, the hand with which he yields his sword, his baton, his magic
And your eye color adorns his right hand, the hand you always hold when he's busy so he isn't preoccupied, the hand he reaches towards you in moments of danger to push you behind him, offering you protection
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ridingtorohan · 1 day ago
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𓇻 ft. tulpar crew x gn reader
𓇻 request. the crew's reactions to walking in on reader touching themselves.
𓇻 content. 18+ content, minors dni. potential second hand embarrassment, reader is gender neutral (no genitalia specified), getting caught, masturbation, semi-public masturbation.
𓇻 enjoy! feel free to like, reblog, or send in asks!
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By all accounts, Curly is a respectable captain. He respects boundaries and doesn't cross the line. He's the captain, after all. Not having locks on the door is a safety issue, he knows. Just as he knows to knock. It just wasn't on his mind; he needed your help with something and you're technically available.
So he breezes right in, words on his lips and - there you are.
Holy shit, there you are. In all your lewd glory. "Oh." Then, oh. "Sorry, I'm just-" and he doesn't even finish the sentence because he backtracks and shuts the door behind him.
The thing is, that image haunts him, later. Wriggling like an infestation inside his skull. When he sees you, he acts every bit the proper superior, doesn't bat an eye. Internally, he sees flashes of skin, the way you moaned and sighed.
It leaves a lasting impression in his mind and he's so painfully aware of it. Aware of it in more ways than one because he knows nothing can come of this. It's awkward enough walking in on someone, awkward even more when everytime he knocks on your door afterwards, he's praying that you'll be nude and waiting for him.
Late at night, he remembers it, stroking himself and pressing his face into a pillow as his hips jerk, spilling himself over his fingers, wishing that it was your hands on him.
Sometimes, he wishes you'd walk in on him too.
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Even Jimmy knows better than to poke through doors, especially when everybody is awake. He's never felt the need to, not with the open door policy and frankly, until this, he's only noticed you in passing.
Nimble as ever, he opens your door, irritated over something that one of the crew members had done the other day. Sometimes, he just liked to vent and rage about the injustice. You're easy to talk to, but he's never really sought you out for anything else before.
The door shuts behind him and he just stands there, previous irritation set to the backburner. Because there you are, uniform discarded and showing off your form, hand between your thighs as you nursed your arousal.
Above all else, Jimmy is a certified voyeur. He likes to watch and admire, drilling inside his head about the way your hand moves, the curve of your spine. Each individual sound. But even Jimmy has his limits.
When you're close or have already come, he slides up behind you, hot breath at your neck, thick hands skimming over your waist, to your thighs, only to settle on top of yours. "As much as I enjoy the view, pet, I'm going to take it from here." And he makes damn good no his promise.
He makes a mental note that to visit your room far more often.
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Anya really just needed an answer to a quick question, relating to your latest check in to the medbay (or your duties). She knocks on the door, too softly to be heard over the sound of your activities.
It takes her an embarrassingly long time to even realize what was going on. All she sees is your huddled form. First comes the concern, her hand reaching out for your shoulder, "Are you oka-"
And you let out such a noisy sigh that she freezes. She's gotten laid before and suddenly it hits her like a truck just what she walked into because she knows what those sounds mean. Furiously backpedalling, her hand raises to her mouth. "I'm so sorry."
Quietly, she excuses herself from your quarters, ears a little red and hands shaking.
For a long, awkward time afterward, she can't even meet your eyes, even going as far as delegating the psych eval to Curly.
If you ever get injured, she performs it as meticulously as she can, her eyes tracing over every ounce of your body, trying to forget the way you moved.
Frankly, at one point, one of you would have to address what happened. But she's more than eager to ride this bumpy path until then, even if it strains your relationship with her.
Everytime she sees you that familiar, yawning ache simmers in her gut.
As much as she tried to deny it, what she walked in on affected her.
When the tension becomes too much, she finds herself sitting on her leg, grinding herself against her calf, biting the inside of her cheek as she imagines you there.
As stupid as it is, she might have maybe done it in your presence, hands trembling as she tries to keep a conversation going, desk separating you two. Other times, when it becomes unbearable, she rubs her thighs together or slides her calves against the leg of her chair, praying to god that you don't see her. (But half of her hoping that you will.)
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He's been looking for you for the better part of half an hour; usually, he finds you in obscure places or with his intern, so the last place he thought to look was in your bedroom. Really, that should have been his first guess. You two were supposed to talk about something and it's been on his mind like a nagging hornet.
Sure, walking into another's room is technically frowned upon, but with all the mishaps of Daisuke barging into people's rooms (much to the disgruntlement of, well, everyone) that for a split second he didn't even consider it.
He just opens the door and - okay, so you're doing that. No wonder you were absent, so engrossed in self pleasure that you didn't even hear him stepping in.
Swansea feels too old for this, seeing your twisted figure, your cries of pleasure. So he just turns around and shuts the door, leaving you to it.
He tucks himself back into a latest project and perusing Daisuke's homework, busying himself until you're finished and in public. Not that he planned to publicly confront you about it, but because he knew everybody needed a little time alone. As small as the Tulpar was, he knew any time and space should be well spent. Even if he silently questioned your methods.
But he does bring it up. He doesn't let it slide (not like how your hands slid between your thighs and-).
Despite whatever personality conflicts you two had, he had eyes and all working parts, thank you very much. He also had needs.
Once the original topic was out of the way, he crossed his arms, expression serious when he says, "Now, it's all my doin' for bargin' in like that, but I saw something of you that I shouldn't have." He'd elaborate if he had to, "If alone time is what you're after, we've got socks for that. Toss it on your door handle and be done with it; I ain't gonna let nobody disturb ya during it."
As awkward as that conversation was, he's handled it before. He has grown kids, after all. But you're not his kid, and you're certainly grown - he's seen that. Noticed it off-hand a few times before too.
He sighs, leaning back, letting you decide when he adds, "But if release is what you're after, I know a thing or two, and I can help you with that."
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All but acting like a lost puppy, Daisuke often turned to you for help in locating his missing items. Batteries, dust pan, his gameboy cartridge. (Swansea was so mad the last time he lost the screwdriver and thanked you profusely with your help locating it.) So popping in for a quick minute into your bedroom to ask for your help in locating his soap was a mindless task.
He pops in, door banging, energetic words on his lips. His brain all but sputters when your eyes connect, nude form on the bed, sprawled out, light sheen of sweat on your body, looking like a tribute straight from the gods.
Despite your hasty attempt to cover and a spew of apologies from Daisuke's lips, he can't take his eyes off you. It's like he can't even blink, so absorbed in your image that half of what he's saying doesn't make sense.
You'd have to forcibly remove him because he is rooted to his spot, unable to vacate of his own free will. He'll be banging on your door, pleading to be let back in, to talk it over. He's not sure what he wants to say - more apologies? Explain why he's there? He wants to offer help so badly.
If he's not pushed out at all, his brain ceases to function. Despite being a handsome lad, and being twenty, he's hardly been with anyone. Sure, he knows exactly what you're up to - he's done it himself plenty of times-- but all those words die in his mouth.
"Soap, I swear I'm just looking for soap," he explains, trying to rush into an explanation, the only coherent thing he can say.
He'll eventually manage to sputter, "I was going to go shower, but nowIwannaknowifyouwanttojoinme" is strewn in with "ohmygodpleaseletmehelpyou".
He's all jittery, achingly hard in his pants, wanting to touch and hear you make those sounds again. Daisuke feels like he'll go insane if he doesn't. Hands fidgeting, his fingers curl in, unconsciously taking a few steps in. He'll finally manage a coherent, "Please let me stay."
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lupinqs · 3 days ago
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN ━━ Know It’s For The Better
☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)
☆ ━ word count: 5.2K
☆ ━ warnings: mentions of abuse and conversion therapy, dani’s going through it
☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist
☆ ━ author’s note: bob bueckers is the goat of this fic btw
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PAIGE IS SPRAWLED across her bed when the first buzz from her phone makes her look up from the ceiling. Her thoughts have been restless all evening, but she’s too tired to scroll through TikTok or do anything productive, like finish her chemistry homework. The soft glow of her screen lights up the room, and she groans, stretching a hand toward the nightstand to grab her phone.
She squints at the text.
Thaliah Sommers
you need to come over rn
Paige frowns, her fingers hovering over the keyboard as she blinks at the clock. 11:47 p.m.
She doesn’t answer immediately. Her dad’s downstairs, the TV still on, and she can practically feel the weight of her grounding like a shackle around her ankles. She’s already walking a fine line after The Party Incident. What could possibly be so urgent that Thaliah thinks she’d risk adding more fuel to her dad’s already burning fire?
Still, her curiosity gets the better of her.
Lil Paigey
What
Why?
The reply comes almost instantly.
Thalia Sommers
it’s abt dani
she’s over here completely inconsolable
something happened with her dad
Paige sits bolt upright, the words hitting her like a slap. Dani. Her dad. Completely inconsolable. Paige’s stomach twists into knots, her heart thudding in her chest as her grip on the phone tightens. She’s never heard Thaliah use words like that about Dani before. Dani isn’t the kind of person who falls apart in front of other people. Dani’s strong—she holds things together, even when she shouldn’t have to.
Paige stares at the screen, her thumb hesitating over the keyboard. Thaliah’s next text hits before she can respond.
Thaliah Sommers
p you’re the best person to be here for her in this kinda situation
The knot in Paige’s stomach pulls tighter. It’s true. It’s more than true. As far as she knows, she’s the only person Dani’s told about the stuff that happened over the summer, the way her dad treated her. So, she needs to go and be there for her.
Lil Paigey
I’ll be there soon
Her hands are already moving, throwing off the blanket and fumbling for her sweatshirt on the chair by her desk.
Her heart pounds in her chest, nerves coursing through her like electricity. This is serious. This isn’t just sneaking out for something stupid, or to meet Dani for a late-night endeavor. This is… something else entirely. Paige can feel it in her bones, an icy undercurrent of fear twisting with her determination.
Her keys jingle as she grabs them off her dresser, the sound too loud in the quiet house. She tiptoes down the stairs, her feet barely making a sound against the hardwood. The living room glows with the flicker of the TV, her dad’s shadowed figure reclining on the couch.
Bob doesn’t look up at first, but as soon as Paige’s hurried footsteps hit the last stair, he pauses the TV. “Where are you going?” His voice is low, even, but there’s an edge of suspicion there.
Paige freezes, turning to face him. She’s already halfway to the door, her sweatshirt zipped up and her shoes only loosely tied. “I need to go over to Thaliah’s,” she says quickly, keeping her voice as steady as possible.
Bob raises an eyebrow. “What? It’s almost midnight, Paige. On a school night.” His tone sharpens. “And don’t forget that you’re grounded.”
The reminder hits her like a slap, but Paige doesn’t have time to care. She throws her hands up, exasperated. “No, I’m serious. I need to go.”
“You need to stay right here,” Bob counters, crossing his arms. “You’re grounded for a reason, Paige. Throwing a party and lying about it isn’t exactly something I’m going to forget in two days.”
Paige’s frustration boils over. She doesn’t have time for this. “Dad, it’s about Dani!” she snaps, her voice rising.
But Bob doesn’t flinch. He holds her gaze, unyielding. “You see Dani every day at school,” he says evenly. “She can tell you whatever it is tomorrow.”
Paige’s breath catches, and she shakes her head furiously. “No, you don’t get it! It’s—it’s about her dad!” Her voice wavers, the tears she’s been holding back starting to brim in her eyes. This is making her really fucking anxious, not something she’s very used to.
Her phone buzzes again, and she glances at it, her stomach sinking at Thaliah’s words.
Thaliah Sommers
can you pls hurry
Panic blooms in her chest, spreading like wildfire. Dani needs her. The thought makes her throat tighten, her heart clench painfully. Paige has never heard the words “Dani” and “inconsolable” in the same sentence—especially not from someone that isn’t herself, that doesn’t know about certain things. Whatever happened tonight, whatever her dad did or said, it was enough to break her.
Paige turns back to her dad, her voice cracking as she pleads, “Please, Dad. Please. I need to go.”
Bob looks at her, his brow furrowing, his mouth pressed into a line. It’s the kind of look that makes Paige’s stomach churn. He knows something is wrong—anyone would with the way she’s nearly crying—but his sigh is heavy, as if he’s already preparing for the fight. “Paige,” he starts, his tone a warning, calm but firm.
She doesn’t let him finish. She can’t. Her nerves are fraying, her heart pounding in her chest. The thought of Dani being inconsolable at Thaliah’s house, waiting for her, makes it feel like the ground is falling out from under her feet. She knows she has to say it, has to explain, or her dad will never let her leave.
“Okay, okay,” she stammers, her voice breaking as she starts to ramble, her thoughts spilling out in a rush. “Do you remember how Dani didn’t talk to me for, like, three months? And I was really depressed during all of it?”
Bob’s face softens just slightly, a flicker of concern breaking through his confusion. “Yes…” he says slowly. “I thought it was really weird. The two of you have always been inseparable.”
“Exactly!” Paige blurts, waving her arms for emphasis. The words tumble out of her, frantic, almost incoherent. “So, um, the night before I left for USA Basketball stuff, we kissed. And Dani’s dad—he found out. And he’s, like, insanely homophobic, like you wouldn’t believe, so he sent her to—” She stops, catching her breath, willing herself to say it even though the word tastes like poison. “He sent her to conversion therapy over the summer.”
Bob blinks at her, his face going blank with shock.
“That’s why she didn’t talk to me,” Paige continues, the words pouring out like water through a crack in a dam. “That’s why she was gone for so long. And when she finally came back, she wouldn’t even look at me until she eventually told me everything, and I—God, it was horrible, Dad.” Her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, her voice breaking again. “And now Thaliah’s saying something happened with her dad again, and Dani’s at Thaliah’s house, and apparently she’s completely inconsolable, and Thaliah’s begging me to come, and I—I need to go. Please, I’m literally begging you. Just let me go.”
She stops, out of breath, her hands shaking. Her dad just stares at her, unmoving, his expression unreadable. The silence stretches long enough that Paige feels the edges of her panic fray even more.
Finally, Bob exhales sharply, his jaw tightening. “He sent her where?” His voice is low, almost dangerous.
Paige swallows hard, feeling the weight of the truth all over again. “Conversion therapy,” she says softly, barely above a whisper.
The words hang in the air like a thunderclap. Bob’s face hardens, his lips thinning, his eyes dark with something Paige rarely sees in him: pure, unfiltered anger.
“That man,” Bob says slowly, his voice a low rumble, “is about to hear from me about this.” He stands abruptly, his movements sharp and purposeful, his focus entirely elsewhere as he steps toward the door.
“No, no—not yet!” Paige says, stepping into his path, her hands raised to stop him. She’s face-to-face with him now, their matching heights making the confrontation feel heavier, more personal. Her voice wavers as she pleads, “I need to figure out exactly what happened with Dani first. Please, Dad. Just—just let me go?”
Bob’s eyes search hers for a long moment, the fury still simmering behind his gaze. But then, with a sigh, he relents. “Okay,” he agrees, stepping back.
“Thank you!” Paige says quickly, already moving past him, her relief palpable as she rushes for the door. She bolts outside, her keys jangling in her hand.
By the time she’s in the car and speeding toward Thaliah’s, her hands are still shaking, her heart still racing. But all she can think about is Dani.
And when Paige finally pulls up to Thaliah’s house, the first thing she notices is Dani’s car parked at the curb. The sight sends a jolt through her chest��part relief, part anxiety. At least Dani’s here, at least she’s safe for now. Paige barely remembers to throw her car into park before she’s out and hurrying up the front steps.
She rings the doorbell and waits, shifting on her feet. Her hands are still shaking, and she tries to steady them by gripping the edge of her sweatshirt. The door opens, and it’s Thaliah’s mom who answers. Paige recognizes the flicker of relief that crosses her face before she even says anything.
“They’re downstairs in the basement,” Thaliah’s mom says, her voice soft but firm, like she knows whatever’s going on is serious.
Paige nods quickly, murmuring, “Thank you,” before stepping inside. The house feels familiar—she’s been here a million times before, for study sessions, movie nights, and sleepovers—but tonight it feels different. Heavier. She moves through the hallways and down the stairs like she’s on autopilot, her heart pounding harder with every step.
As she reaches the bottom of the stairs, she sees the back of Dani and Thaliah’s heads. They’re sitting on the couch, facing the TV, though it isn’t on. Thaliah has her arm draped across the back of the couch, and Dani is curled into herself, her knees pulled up to her chest.
The sound of Paige’s sneakers hitting the bottom step makes Thaliah whip her head around. She spots Paige instantly and stands, her shoulders dropping like the weight of the world has just been lifted. “Paige!” she exclaims, her voice low but insistent, like she’s been waiting for her.
At the sound of Thaliah’s voice, Dani glances over her shoulder too, and Paige’s heart clenches the moment their eyes meet. Dani looks wrecked. She’s not crying, but her eyes are red-rimmed, her mascara smudged under them in streaks. She looks tired, hollow, like whatever fight she had in her is gone. It’s the defeated expression on her face that twists something deep in Paige’s chest.
“Hey,” Paige says softly, stepping closer but keeping her movements slow and cautious. Her eyes flick between Thaliah and Dani, and she hesitates before asking, “What happened?”
Dani looks away almost immediately, burying her face against her knees as though she can’t bear to speak. Thaliah, standing beside the couch, looks down at her best friend with so much quiet concern that it makes Paige’s throat tighten. Thaliah glances back at Paige, then, her expression soft but heavy with meaning.
“I’ll leave the two of you to talk about it,” Thaliah says gently. She leans over Dani, brushing a hand across her shoulder before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Love you, Dan,” she murmurs.
Dani doesn’t respond. She doesn’t even lift her head, but Paige sees her hand twitch slightly, like she’s trying to acknowledge it but doesn’t have the strength.
Thaliah circles around the couch, her movements purposeful but quiet. When she reaches Paige, she stops and touches her arm lightly, leaning in to whisper, “Be gentle with her, yeah? It’s bad.” Her voice is barely audible, but the weight of her words crashes over Paige like a tidal wave.
Paige nods, her chest tightening. “Okay,” she whispers back.
Thaliah squeezes her arm, a fleeting but grounding gesture, before heading upstairs. Paige watches her go, listens to the sound of the door closing behind her, and then turns back to Dani.
The silence feels deafening now, the weight of the moment pressing down on her. Paige’s heart squeezes painfully as she takes a slow step forward, her eyes fixed on Dani’s small, crumpled figure on the couch. What did he do to you this time? she wonders, the question clawing at the edges of her mind. But she pushes it back for now. She needs to handle this right.
Paige approaches the couch cautiously, her heart pounding. She sinks onto the spot next to Dani, careful to leave a few inches of space between them. She doesn’t want to overwhelm her. Dani looks so small, curled up like she’s trying to make herself disappear.
“Hey,” Paige murmurs, leaning down a little to meet Dani’s gaze. Her voice is soft, coaxing, but there’s an edge of worry she can’t hide.
Dani turns her head, her cheek resting against her knees. Her eyes meet Paige’s, and for a fleeting moment, Paige sees something there—relief, maybe, or just a flicker of recognition. Dani gives her a small, wobbly smile, but it’s hollow, completely devoid of any real emotion. “Hey,” she mumbles back, her voice so quiet it barely registers.
Paige’s chest tightens as she watches Dani’s eyes begin to water. The sight makes her stomach churn. She reaches over slowly, brushing her thumb beneath Dani’s left eye, wiping away the streak of mascara that’s smudged there. Her hand lingers, her thumb gliding over Dani’s cheek before she cups it gently. Dani doesn’t pull away, but she doesn’t lean into the touch either.
“Dan,” Paige murmurs, her voice low and tender. She searches Dani’s face, trying to will her to open up. “Talk to me, baby.”
That seems to break whatever fragile dam Dani’s been holding up. Her lips tremble, and then she’s crying—really crying. It’s not just the silent tears from earlier; this is raw, uncontrollable, chest-heaving sobs. Paige sighs softly and pulls Dani into her, letting her fall against her chest.
Dani buries her face in Paige’s neck, and Paige feels the wet heat of her tears soaking into her skin. She wraps her arms around Dani’s back, holding her close, pulling her even tighter when Dani lets out a particularly gut-wrenching sob. She’s practically in Paige’s lap now, her knees pressing against Paige’s thighs as Paige strokes her hair in slow, soothing motions.
“It’s okay,” Paige murmurs against Dani’s temple, though she doesn’t know if it is. She doesn’t know if it ever will be.
Dani’s sobs quiet just enough for her to choke out words. “He found out about us.”
Paige freezes. The words hit her like a punch to the gut, though deep down, she’s not surprised. She’d had a feeling, from the moment Thaliah texted her, that this had to do with either their relationship or Dani’s sexuality. She takes a slow breath, letting the words sink in, before resuming her gentle strokes through Dani’s hair. “Okay,” Paige hums softly, coaxing her to continue.
Dani sniffles, her voice shaky and broken. “He saw Beau’s dad… and he thought we were still together, so he went and talked to him. And then Beau’s dad told him that he and I had been broken up for months. And I guess Beau told him that I left him for a girl.” Dani’s voice cracks, and she lets out a bitter laugh that turns into another sob.
Paige’s stomach knots tighter, but she stays quiet, letting Dani keep going.
“My dad came home,” Dani continues, her words tumbling out faster now, like she can’t stop them. “He looked around my room, and he found one of your sweatshirts… and a note you’d written. And that picture of us from Friday.” Dani’s voice breaks completely this time, and Paige feels her heart twist painfully. “And he—he was so mad.”
Paige presses her lips to Dani’s hair, closing her eyes against the flood of emotions rising in her chest. “You could’ve called me,” she murmurs, her voice thick with guilt.
Dani lets out another sob, clutching Paige’s shirt tightly. “I would’ve,” she chokes out, “but he broke my phone. Threw it across the room.”
That makes Paige pull back slightly, just enough to look at Dani’s face. Her hands slide down to Dani’s sides, holding her gently but firmly. Paige thought this was just a verbal fight—like always. But him doing that is different, scarier. It makes her even more worried than before. “Is that all he did?” Paige asks, her voice carefully measured. “Just break your phone?”
Dani hesitates. The pause is just long enough to make Paige’s heart hammer in her chest.
“Dani,” Paige says, her voice breaking. The name comes out like a plea, like a desperate attempt to pull the truth from her.
Dani finally looks at Paige, her eyes filling with fresh tears. “He told me he was gonna send me back to camp,” she mumbles, her voice barely audible. “To conversion therapy. Whatever you want to call it.” Her shoulders shake as she exhales a shuddering breath. “And I fought back—told him I couldn’t do it, didn’t wanna go. And he didn’t like that.”
Paige swallows hard, her throat dry. She thinks she knows where this is going, but she still asks, her voice trembling, “What did he do, Dani?”
Dani shrugs, like she’s trying to downplay it, but her eyes betray her. They’re swimming with tears, and when she speaks, her voice cracks again. “He hit me.”
The words hang in the air like a physical blow, and Paige feels her whole body tense. Her hands tighten on Dani’s sides, not enough to hurt but enough to ground herself. Her breath catches, and for a moment, she doesn’t trust herself to speak.
Then, finally, she whispers, “Oh, Dani,” her voice breaking completely. She pulls Dani back into her arms, holding her as tightly as she can without hurting her, her own tears beginning to well up. She doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to fix this. All she can do is hold her and hope it’s enough, even though she knows it won’t be.
Paige keeps holding Dani as she sobs into her shoulder, her whole body trembling like she’s been holding this in for far too long. Paige’s chest tightens with each choked sob, her throat burning from the effort of holding back her own tears. The only thing grounding her right now is Dani in her arms—and the sharp, unrelenting hatred boiling in her chest for the man who did this to her.
She’s never hated anyone more than Dani’s father. Never. Not in her entire life. The thought of him makes her blood run hot, her fists clenching involuntarily. Because how could anyone hurt Dani? Sweet, kind, radiant Dani, who’s never done anything but try to survive in a world that’s never made space for her. Paige wants to storm over to that house right now, face him herself, but she knows she can’t.
What she can do is make sure Dani never has to see him again.
“You’re gonna stay with me and my dad, okay?” Paige whispers, her voice resolute. She presses a kiss into Dani’s hair, her lips brushing against the crown of her head. “I’m not letting you go back in that house, Dan. No way.”
Dani pulls back slightly, her tear-streaked face turning up to meet Paige’s. She’s shaking her head before Paige even finishes speaking, her eyes wide and filled with worry. “Paige, I—I can’t just intrude like that,” Dani stammers, her voice hoarse and cracked. “That’s not—It’s just unrealistic.”
Paige shakes her head right back, her determination unwavering. “No,” she says firmly, her hands holding Dani’s shoulders like she’s trying to physically keep her from running away from the idea. “You heard what your dad said—he’ll send you back. And I won’t let it happen. I swear to God, Dani. I won’t let it happen.”
There’s a silence between them, heavy and charged. Dani’s eyes search Paige’s face, and Paige doesn’t waver, her jaw set, her expression steady. She doesn’t care what it takes. Dani is not going back to that house.
Finally, Paige sighs, her grip on Dani’s shoulders loosening slightly. Her voice softens as she says, “My dad knows.”
Dani stiffens. Paige feels it, the way Dani’s muscles tense under her hands. Her eyes widen just a fraction more, her lips parting slightly like she’s about to say something but can’t find the words.
“I had to tell him tonight,” Paige explains, her voice steady but quiet. “He never would’ve let me leave otherwise. He knows about the camp. About your dad.”
Paige braces herself, half-expecting Dani to lash out, to yell at her for breaking the promise they made—the one where Paige swore she wouldn’t tell anyone about the camp. Dani had been so adamant, so insistent that no one could ever find out. But as Paige watches Dani’s face, she doesn’t see anger. She doesn’t see betrayal.
Instead, Dani looks… thoughtful. Her brow furrows slightly, her lips pressing together in a way that looks more like worry than frustration.
So Paige continues, feeling a flicker of hope. “He was so mad when I told him, Dani. He wanted to go give your dad a piece of his mind right then and there. I had to convince him to let me come here instead.” She pauses, her thumbs brushing against Dani’s arms in soft, soothing motions. “I promise you, he’d much rather you stay with us and be safe than have you over there. You’re like a second daughter to him—you know that.”
Dani doesn’t say anything right away. Her eyes drop, her gaze unfocused as she processes Paige’s words. Paige can practically see the wheels turning in her head, the way her mind is working overtime to reconcile everything Paige just told her.
“I just… I don’t want to be a burden,” Dani whispers finally, her voice so quiet Paige has to strain to hear it.
“You won’t be,” Paige says immediately, her tone firm and certain. “You’ve never been a burden to me or to him. You know that.”
Dani’s eyes flicker up to meet hers again, and Paige sees the doubt there, the fear that’s been drilled into her by years of living in that house. Paige feels her heart clench again, but she keeps her voice steady, her hands gentle as she cups Dani’s face.
“You’re not going back there,” Paige says softly, but there’s steel in her voice. “Not now. Not ever.”
Dani blinks rapidly, her tears threatening to spill over again, and Paige brushes them away before they can fall. Dani’s lip trembles, and she looks like she wants to argue, but she doesn’t. She just nods, barely, like she’s too tired to fight anymore.
Relief floods through Paige, but it’s tempered by the ache in her chest, the overwhelming need to protect Dani from everything she’s been through—and everything she’s still scared of. Paige leans forward, pressing her forehead gently against Dani’s, her hands still cradling her face.
“We’ll figure it out, Dan,” Paige murmurs. “I promise. We’ll figure it out together.”
And for the first time all night, Dani doesn’t argue. She just closes her eyes and lets Paige hold her, her breath hitching softly as she leans into the only safe place she has left.
THEY STAY at Thaliah’s house that night, Thaliah’s mom bustling around with warm reassurance, pulling out an air mattress and piling it with blankets and pillows until it’s soft and inviting. Paige murmurs a quiet “thank you” as the woman pats her shoulder gently before retreating upstairs.
Dani hasn’t said much since they agreed to stay, her eyes rimmed red and her voice a little hoarse. She stands off to the side, clutching the borrowed sweatpants and oversized T-shirt Thaliah gave her like they’re a lifeline.
When the mattress is ready, Paige takes Dani’s hand, threading their fingers together and giving a reassuring squeeze. Dani follows her lead without protest, crawling onto the air mattress after Paige and letting her guide them both under the blankets.
They settle into the space slowly, Dani lying on her side and curling into herself like she’s trying to make herself smaller. Paige isn’t having that. She shifts closer, wrapping her arms around Dani and tugging her gently into her chest. Dani resists for a second, her body stiff and hesitant, but then she sighs and gives in, letting herself melt into Paige’s hold.
Paige nestles her chin against the top of Dani’s head, her hand running slow, soothing circles over her back. Dani’s knees are drawn up, her body curled tightly against Paige’s. Paige shifts her legs around Dani’s, tangling them together as much as the narrow mattress will allow. Her other arm rests beneath Dani’s neck, cradling her head and keeping her close.
For the first time all night, Dani seems to relax, her breathing evening out as she lets the exhaustion take over. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep, her face tucked into Paige’s collarbone, her breath soft and steady against Paige’s skin.
But Paige doesn’t sleep.
She stares up at the ceiling, her eyes tracing the faint outlines of shadows cast by the streetlights outside. Her mind is an endless loop of everything Dani told her tonight—every word, every broken sob, all of it.
It makes her stomach churn, her jaw clenching in helpless anger. She doesn’t know how someone can treat their child like that. She doesn’t know how Dani’s father can even look at her and not see what Paige sees: someone so good, so kind, so deserving of love. The thought that he could hurt Dani—his own daughter, the girl Paige loves more than anything—nearly sends the blonde into a frenzy.
But then Paige looks down at Dani, sleeping soundly in her arms, and the anger softens into something else. Relief. Gratitude.
Because Dani’s safe now. She’s not in that house. She’s not alone. Paige tightens her hold slightly, pressing a soft kiss into Dani’s hair.
It’s not enough—not nearly enough—but for tonight, it’ll have to be.
DANI STANDS on the sidewalk with Paige and Bob, the three of them staring at the house that used to feel like home. Now it feels like something else entirely—something hollow, suffocating, and cruel.
Dani hugs herself tightly, trying to ignore the way her chest tightens at the sight of it. She hears Bob’s steady voice beside her, low but firm, a grounding force she hadn’t realized she needed.
“In and out,” Bob says, his hand a reassuring weight on her shoulder. “You get everything you need, and that’s it. You never have to go back in there after this.”
Dani nods, her throat too tight to speak.
The morning had been a blur. Paige drove them to her house, Dani’s car still parked at Thaliah’s with the promise to retrieve it later. She barely had time to register the familiarity of the Bueckers’ front porch before Paige’s dad had pulled her into a hug—tight, warm, and safe. It was the kind of hug she hadn’t felt in years, and she melted into it, clinging to him like she was afraid she might disappear.
Paige must’ve told him everything already. Dani didn’t know how much detail Paige gave him, but it was enough to bring a protective light to Bob’s eyes when he looked at her. Enough for him to immediately agree that Dani could stay with them for as long as she needed. The relief she felt was overwhelming, but it was fleeting. Because now they were here, and she had to face the remnants of last night.
The front door creaks slightly as Bob opens it. The house is silent, but it feels like the walls are holding their breath. Dani steps in cautiously, every nerve on edge despite knowing her dad’s at work.
Bob glances at her, his tone gentle but insistent. “Go upstairs. I’ll stay down here, just in case.” He bends to pick up her photography bag from where it’s still lying on the floor from last night, slinging it onto his shoulder. “You two just get what you need. We’ll be out of here in no time.”
Dani nods again before she and Paige head up the stairs. Each step feels heavier than the last, the air thick with memories she doesn’t want to revisit. Paige is close behind her, her hand brushing lightly against Dani’s back in silent support.
When they reach her room, Paige touches her arm gently. “Let’s make this quick,” she says softly.
They grab two suitcases from the closet, Dani’s hands shaking slightly as she unzips them. Paige doesn’t waste any time, moving to the dresser and pulling out clothes, folding them neatly before stacking them in one of the suitcases. Dani busies herself with the bookshelf, grabbing journals, books, and anything else that feels important.
Her hands hover over a small stuffed bear, one her mom gave her when she was a kid. She picks it up hesitantly, running her fingers over the soft fur before placing it in the suitcase.
Then she sees the photo.
It’s a picture of her and her mom, taken on a trip to the lake years ago. They’re both laughing, her mom’s arm wrapped around her shoulders. Dani picks it up, holding it close to her chest. For a moment, she can’t move. Her mind spirals into the what ifs. What if her mom were still alive? Would any of this have happened? She doesn’t think so.
Paige’s voice pulls her back again. “Dan?”
Dani blinks, glancing over at Paige, who’s watching her with careful eyes. “I’m okay,” Dani murmurs, but she doesn’t let go of the photo. Instead, she keeps it tucked under her arm, making sure it’s secure.
They keep packing, working quickly and efficiently. Paige moves with purpose, her focus unwavering as she gathers Dani’s things. Dani feels a lump rise in her throat at the sight of her—Paige, who shouldn’t have to be here, shouldn’t have to be dealing with any of this, but is anyway.
When the suitcases are full, Dani takes one last look around the room. It feels emptier now, stripped of anything that made it hers. A part of her feels relief, but another part feels a strange sense of loss.
Her childhood is over.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
Paige notices her hesitation and steps closer, placing a hand on her arm. “Ready?”
Dani nods, even though she’s not sure she is.
They head back downstairs, where Bob is waiting with the rest of Dani’s things. He smiles encouragingly. “Got everything?”
“Yeah,” Dani says, her voice quiet but steady.
Bob takes one of the suitcases from her, leading the way to the door. As they step outside, Dani feels the weight in her chest start to lift, just a little. She glances at Paige, who gives her a small, reassuring smile.
Things are gonna be a lot different now.
But, Dani thinks, they may also be better.
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ohbueckers · 2 days ago
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HEART OF A WOMAN. … instead we’re moving slow, i guess she’s used to it by now.
05, CHAPTER FIVE. YOU BETTER START THINKING.
ju speaks. i procrastinated this so bad lol but i have some time over the break to get some stuff out (more hoaw chapters) so yay! pairing. wnba!paige bueckers x fem!oc. warnings. sexual innuendos.
present day, june 2025.
i’m not sure why i let it happen again.
scratch that—i know exactly why. i just don’t want to admit it to myself. it’s always like this with paige and me. a spark, a touch, a stupid comment or argument that turns into something much bigger, much harder to control. we’ve been here before, over and over, in different cities, in different beds, pretending like this time will be the last time. it should’ve been.
the last couple of weeks have been easier than i expected, softer in a way i didn’t know we were capable of. i’m starting to think it’s too good to be true. paige hasn’t been running from me, hasn’t been trying to prove something every second of our time together. maybe that’s why i’ve let my guard down, just a little.
she’s still herself, of course. cocky, loud, and incapable of stilling. but she’s been showing up. not just physically but in the ways i used to hope for back when we were together the first time. it’s in the way she looks at me when she thinks i’m not paying attention, like she did in high school when she told me she never wanted to let go of me. it’s in the way she texts me good morning before i can even think about reaching for my phone, like she’s trying to prove she can still be someone i want to wake up to.
and maybe, stupidly, i’m starting to believe her.
not completely, not yet. paige bueckers has always been good at saying the right things, making promises she’s not ready to keep. but these past weeks, it’s like she’s trying to remind me who she was before everything got so messy. the version of her i fell for in the first place.
but when she’s here, like this? it’s so hard to remember why i ever tried to stay away.
paige is stretched out on her back, arm slung around me, fingers tracing patterns absentmindedly on my shoulder. the sheets are tangled around her bare legs, and she shifts slightly, the motion sending a faint brush of her skin against mine. i glance up at her, and the smug smirk already curling at her lips tells me she knows exactly what she’s doing.
“you staring at me, nai?” she asks. her voice is rough and a little husky from sleep as she stretches. my eyes flash to her exposed abdomen.
“don’t flatter yourself,” i mutter, though it is so obviously a front.
“tooooo late,” she drawls, shifting again so she’s propped up on one elbow, the other hand sliding up to lazily run along my arm. “you’re terrible at pretending you’re not obsessed, by the way.”
i roll my eyes, trying to hide the way my breath hitches at her touch. “says the girl who texted me five times in a row last night because i didn’t answer fast enough.” i lean back against the pillow, staring up at her, and i swear i could forever.
paige’s grin widens, shameless as she looks away. “i mean, what was i ‘posed to do? sit there and wait? nah, i had to apply pressure.” the smugness on her face tells me she’s having way too much fun with this, fun with me.
i snort, shaking my head as i get up, swinging a leg over her and straddling her waist casually. “pressure? you called me a ‘certified flake’ and threatened to pull up if i didn’t respond.”
paige lets out a low laugh, her hands instinctively finding my thighs as i settle over her. “yeah, and look where it got me.” she licks her lips, smirk softening as her eyes flicker over my face, lingering on my lips that are curled up into a smile. “don’t act like you didn’t like the attention.”
i arch a brow, tilting my head to the side. “oh, is that what we’re calling it now?”
her hands tighten on my thighs, smirk faltering for just a second before she regains composure. “mhm. attention. you’re welcome.”
i roll my eyes but don’t pull away, my hands bracing on her chest. how could i? “you’re such a problem.” i bring the comforter we shared last night up over my back, and its like a tent giving us privacy from the sun of my windows. i really need some black-out curtains or something.
“and you love it,” she fires back, her voice dropping, teasing, as her fingers trail upwards, stopping just far enough.
i do. God, i really do.
i smile, and i swear my face hurts from it as i lean down to kiss her. again and again, each one leaving paige chasing after my lips. i savor the moment. i’m not sure how long it’ll be like this, but i like it. a lot. i pull back, resting my head on her chest, breathing in her morning scent as she bites down on her lip in reminiscence.
“tell me i’m wrong,” she murmurs.
i laugh, more of a pity chuckle just because she’s so full of herself. i furrow my eyebrows just slightly, bringing my hand to a resting point right by my face. “i’m not telling you shit, bueckers.”
“yeah? but you didn’t say i was wrong.”
i don’t want to admit it, not to her, not even to myself, but paige knows me better than anyone. she always has. it’s infuriating and comforting all at once, the way she sees through me like i’m an open book. i’m not an open book. i never have been, but for paige…
she doesn’t press, though. she never does when it really matters. she just watches me with that maddening half-smile, her fingers brushing over my skin like she has all the time in the world, and i know she’s waiting for me to say it. to give in.
maybe that’s why i keep coming back. or maybe it’s because she’s the only person who’s ever made me feel this much all at once—frustration, want, affection, something i’m not ready to name. whatever it is, it’s why i don’t pull away, why i let her keep pulling me closer even when i know i should stop.
i shift, the sheets rustling beneath us, and my chest tightens. not about what she said, but what i’m forcing myself to think about. i hate how much i want this, how much i want her, even after everything. especially after everything. but its addicting, and i know she feels the same.
“maybe i’m just a sucker for this,” i mutter, low enough that i’m not sure she hears it.
but of course she does.
she nearly breaks her neck to look down at me. she doesn’t let the words settle. “nah, you a sucker for me.”
i roll my eyes again, avoiding her gaze, but i don’t argue. instead, i lift my head again as i prop myself up on her chest. “what makes you so sure?” it’s a stupid question, but i was fully ready for her to read me.
paige’s smile turns smugger. “because you’re here,” she says simply. “and you’re smiling like that.”
i scoff, trying to play it off, but the way she’s looking at me makes it impossible. i lean down, pressing my lips to hers again, even slower this time. how could i stay away from her when kisses me like this? i feel the way her mouth curves, realizing she’s smiling too.
my hand slides up to cup her face, and she pulls me just a little closer by the small of my back, grip tight like always, like she’s scared i’ll slip. it’s not rushed—in fact, we have a couple hours to be entangled like this before having to part—it’s intentional. like she’s got all the time in the world and wants me to feel it.
and i do.
“it’s—mhm—okay,” paige says, and i find her muffled words rather cute as i shift my hips up, pushing my lips further into hers. her hand slides up my bare back, fiddling with the clasp of my bra. “i am too.”
i pull away, sitting up a little straighter as i quirk a brow at her. “you’re what?” i ask. i decide to help her out, unclasping my bra, but holding the straps up over my chest until she’s finished speaking.
her eyes fall, tongue swiping over her swollen, pink lips. i’m teasing her, i know it, paige definitely knows it. but as she brings her hands up slowly, tearing my own away, i almost forget what i was doing to her in the first place, suddenly fully exposed. i hear her breath hitch. “a big, fat sucker for you.”
i bite back a smile despite her unserious words, because they always make me do that. i roll my eyes, cusping her mouth into my hand playfully as she laughs, shaking out of it.
paige doesn’t hesitate.
she attaches her lips to my collarbone, trails down to the curve of my chest. i look down, and if i didn’t know any better, i’d say paige bueckers is absolutely enamored with me. “so beautiful, baby,” she huskily says, her hands grounding my hips against her as she moves to my tits, attacking the marks she’d left last night so roughly it has my breathing going faster.
i tangle a hand in her hair, fingers tightening reflexively, and it’s like i can’t look away. her face, her lips—every detail feels seared into my memory. “for real,” she continues, and when she looks up at me unexpectedly, lips curving into a small grin, it’s like i’ve completely checked out.
i’m not me anymore, i’m whatever paige wants me to be.
“need you framed or somethin’.” it’s a joke. clearly a joke, nailea. but the way she’s making me feel makes it land differently.
“framed, huh?” i manage.
“yeah,” she replies proudly, like it’s the sweetest thing she’s ever said. “you know, like for the crib. big centerfold. maybe as my lock screen too.”
i can’t help it—i laugh, shaking my head, closing my eyes momentarily as i pretend her words aren’t setting me closer to giving myself to her completely. “you’re so stupid,” i mutter.
paige doesn’t flinch, her grin only widening as she dips her head again, her lips brushing over the swell of my chest. “nah, just honest,” she murmurs against my skin, and the way her voice vibrates there nearly makes me lose it.
i force myself to breathe, leaning back slightly as her hands wander. “maybe you can,” i blurt out without thinking, and she pauses, glancing up at me again.
“what you talkin’ about?” she asks.
i don’t answer right away, leaning over to grab the pink polaroid camera sitting on my nightstand. it’s old and clunky, a relic from freshman year that my dad had given me, and i’d kept it more out of nostalgia than utility. now, though, it feels like fate.
it always does with us.
when i sit back, holding the camera up, paige’s eyes light up, her grin widening into something more troublesome. “nai,” she drags out.
i lift my eyebrows, playing along, like i don’t already know where this is headed. “i’m listening.”
“you not serious,” she shakes her head, voice etched with some laughter. she doesn’t believe it, yet she still tilts her head, sizing me up like she’s already planning the perfect angle.
“thought you wanted me framed, p,” i counter, poking my bottom lip out as i lift the camera a little higher.
her grin deepens, tongue flicking over her teeth as she leans back just enough, hands sliding up and down my legs, creating some sort of friction. she hesitates. “you sure?”
i pretend to think for a moment before responding. “hmm, depends. you gonna cooperate?”
paige chuckles. “oh, i’ll cooperate.” she shifts again, her posture loosening as she leans back against the headboard, one arm draping casually over her head, the other trailing down to rest just between my legs. shes so sexy it’s almost overwhelming. her grin is the same as always, blue hues pierced into me.
“go on then,” she urges. “show me how you see me, baby.”
i adjust the camera into focus, fingers fumbling over the different buttons i’m sure i’ll have to show her have to work before snapping the first photo. the flash and the sun combined cast her in a perfect light, and though she’ll look less defined in the old pixels, the sight’s engraved in my head now.
the whir of the camera fills the room, and the polaroid slides out, landing softly against her chest. paige grabs it, holding it up with a satisfied smirk as the image slowly develops, inspecting it like it’s a prize. she glances at me, her expression softening just a little. “i’m bettin’ you could do better.”
“oh, you think so?” i shoot back, handing her the camera.
“mhm. there a timer on this thing?”
i step out of the shower and into my room, shivering a little as i pull the towel tighter around my chest. paige, completely the opposite temperature of me, must have messed with my thermostat.
i silently curse her for getting so comfortable.
she’s still here, tall figure leaning over the bed she made up. she’s wearing nothing but a pair of basketball shorts and her sports bra, her phone in one hand, the other lazily shuffling through the scattered polaroids we just took.
“what you doin’?” i ask, tilting my head at her as i walk over, water droplets trailing down my legs.
paige glances up, her blue eyes gleaming like i’ve interrupted something i should’ve known better than to question. “you thought i was lying about my lock screen?” she smugly says, holding up her phone.
i keep my eyes on her, not knowing what to expect as i move closer, the faintest tug of a grin threatening my lips. “what’d you do?” i mutter, snatching her phone to check it for myself.
sure enough, the lock screen now features a series of the pictures we’d taken. i blink, and i think my boiling, hot shower just cleansed every dirty thought i had before getting in, because i don’t remember us being this fucking horny. my cheeks flush despite myself. “paige, you cannot keep this on your phone.”
she strokes her chin, lowly laughing at my reaction. “why not? looks good, don’t it?”
i shake my head as i fight back every inch of amusement that wants to take over me. “it’s unhinged,” i retort, though the corner of my mouth betrays me. a part of me wants her to keep it.
she looks at me, completely unfazed. “everything we just did is unhinged.” well…
before i can think of a snappy comeback, there’s a sudden knock at the front door, loud and authoritative. my heart leaps, and i freeze. paige stiffens too, her smile faltering just slightly.
“shit,” i mutter, tossing her phone back on the bed. “put a shirt on.”
paige doesn’t move immediately, still grinning like she thinks this is funny.
“now, p!” i urge, hitting her arm and scrambling toward my closet for a robe.
“aight, aight,” she finally says, scurrying over and grabbing a shirt off the back of a chair. she takes her time pulling it on, moving like this isn’t urgent, like we’re not one knock away from being exposed.
but then there’s another knock, louder this time. not from the front door—this one is right outside the bedroom.
the fuck?
i freeze, my hand still on the closet door, dread pooling in my stomach.
paige’s eyes widen as realization dawns on her. “yo, who has a key to your apartment?” she mouths, grabbing the polaroids and shoving them under the pillow in a panic.
i shake my head as if to tell her i wouldn’t know before squaring my shoulders, trying to channel a calm i don’t feel. If i act casual, maybe—just maybe—i can smooth this over. except i don’t know who it is. we don’t know who it is. i tie the robe around myself and open the door slowly, preparing for the worst.
and there she is. cameron brink.
her arms are crossed as she scans the room, and she doesn’t have a reaction to paige’s presence in the slightest bit. i speak first. “how’d you—“ i start, but she cuts me off, holding up a pink key decorated with yellow daisies attached to her keychain.
well, shit.
“i had a feeling i’d need this,” she says coolly, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. “and your locations.” her eyes flick over my robe, then to paige standing awkwardly by the bed, and then back to me.
“bye, paige,” she says pointedly, not even giving her the courtesy of a glance as she busies herself by stuffing her keys into her purse.
paige hesitates, looking between me and cam, clearly debating whether to say something. i’ve got my own arms crossed, chewing down on my lip like a kid in trouble. she takes the hint, and finally, she steps toward me, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek before grabbing her phone and heading toward the door. “i’ll… catch you later.”
if it weren’t for the predicament we were in, i’d call her adorable.
the door closes behind her, leaving me alone with cam, and i don’t even have to look at her to know what’s coming.
“really?”
i roll my eyes, crossing my arms tighter against my chest. i shouldn’t be upset with her though. i’m deflecting. “you stalking me now?”
cam smirks, but there’s no humor in it. “i came to apologize for what happened at the bar,” she says. “in person, because i haven’t seen you. but now i know why—you’ve been busy.” her voice has something etched in it, almost like she’s disappointed in me, but at the same time, knew.
i look away, fingers curling around the fabric of my robe. “it’s not like that,” i mutter, but even i don’t believe it. not really. it is like that. and maybe i’m just too tired of pretending i can stay away.
“isn’t it? i thought you were done with her,” she says, her brows raising like she’s daring me to lie.
i let out a breath, awkwardly keeping my hands to my sides as i sit on the edge of the bed. “me too.”
“then why is she leaving your apartment like a one-night stand?”
“because—” i start, but the words stick in my throat. what was i supposed to say? that seeing paige nearly every day had unraveled every ounce of willpower i had? that being around her felt like falling into an old habit, comfortable and impossible to resist?
“you try having your ex-girlfriend get drafted to the team you work for,” i say finally.
still, she rambles. “and maya?” cam presses. she’s so worried about it you’d think it was her problem. “they’re seeing each other, you know that, right?”
i close my eyes for a moment, guilt clawing at my chest. that wasn’t fair. “we haven’t…” i trail off, shaking my head. “we haven’t been thinking that far.”
cam exhales, hand running down her face. “that’s the problem, nai. you’re not thinking.”
her words settle into the room, a bit harsh for me to hear, but not untrue. and maybe that’s what stings the most—that i’ve been avoiding this conversation with myself for weeks. the truth is, i haven’t thought about anything beyond the way paige makes me feel when she’s close, the way her voice drops when she says my name, the way her hands feel like they’re meant to pull me back in no matter how far i run. i haven’t thought about maya, about what it would mean for her to find out, about how i’d explain myself if it came to that. i haven’t thought about the job i fought so hard to get, and how quickly it could all fall apart if this got out.
i look at cam. she looks like she’s seen this all before. she hasn’t. she hasn’t even seen half of it and wants better for me. she loves us both, i know that. but apart better than together.
i bite my lip, frustration pooling in my gut as i try to put my thoughts together. somehow, the only thing i can think about is how this isn’t just paige and i’s secret anymore, and i should fight to keep it under wraps until we figure it out. “please don’t tell maya,” i plead.
cam looks at me, her expression unreadable for a long moment before she sits down beside me, close but not touching. “you know i won’t.” i feel a sense of relief. “but promise me you’ll start thinking. about how this affects your job. about you.” she chuckles dryly, emphasizing that i don’t really have a choice.
i suppose she’s right. she is right.
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ir-abelas-vhenan · 3 days ago
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I've been thinking a lot today about how easily people condemn Solas for making the choices he did or for so regularly refusing the help and love his friends or a romanced Lavellan extended to him and how that's a very easy thing to do from behind a screen in a fictional game where you are able to (with very few exceptions) curate a world in which your allies are loyal and your decisions will go the way you'd like them to.
And yeah, it's a game and that's kind of the point, but if I were to look at it a little more deeply (and who am I kidding, I got back on this website exclusively to process the aftermath of Veilguard) I'd say that there's so much to be found in wondering if the protagonists in any of the other games would have fared better in similar conditions.
Apparently I can't stop making long posts, so buckle in.
What would Morrigan have become in a world where the Warden never stumbled upon her cottage with Flemeth, if she never got the chance to see more of the world and decide what she wanted out of it? With just her mother (who, coincidentally in this Solas-y discussion is also kind of Mythal) and no support, who is to say what she would have unleashed upon the Korcari Wilds one day when the confines of her cage became too much?
What about Leliana? She, too, suffered at the hands of a very controlling abuser who tried to convince her that one lifestyle was all that her future held. What do we think she would have become if not for a chance meeting in Lothering with someone who could help her face down the woman that molded her?
Fenris, a character MANY people are just fine with was incredibly ready to kill a mage on sight if need be, no questions asked. Where do we think his story goes if he doesn't have someone in his corner early on enough in the game? If he doesn't get caught by Danarius, he's almost certainly going to end up on a murder spree, and he doesn't even have Justice whispering in his head to do it.
Cullen. Just all of him. It's an absolute miracle he hasn't snapped by the time you encounter him in Inquistion, and even then you get the benefit of intervening at a critical point in his story several times over.
Almost every other character could face this analysis and I think we'd reach a result that suggests perhaps the only thing keeping them lovable is your playable character's investment in their well-being.
Enter Solas. We don't meet him when he's twenty to thirty something and on the precipice of falling down a dark path. He's been there for literal millennia already, and with the exception of one close friend he's been alone. And not even Felassan is enough because of the years Mythal had prior to that friendship to make Solas exactly who she needed him to be.
I've had shit friends before that aren't just good at isolating people, they're naturals. I barely made it through high school with my mental health in place (in fact, looking back, it almost certainly wasn't). When you think you've got a true friend and they need something of you, it's so easy to blindly follow them because you think your love is enough to mark someone's soul as trustworthy. Solas doesn't learn that lesson until it's too late, and even when he does he can't turn back: the spirit that was once Wisdom has been exposed to several of the worst ancient elves to ever exist and now he has to stand his ground rather than let it all fall, because that is what Pride would dictate. Admitting that the person you gave your love and labor and time to is a monster is hard. And he was alone.
Give me Morrigan after centuries with her mother. Show me Leliana after the years have become a blur and the only voice whispering in her ear is Marjolaine's. Show me the innocent mages that don't make it through if all Fenris has for years and years and years are the scars Danaris left him and the means to make more. Show me Cullen if he stays in a chain of command under a Knight Commander who knows exactly what he fears and holds it over his head for so long he forgets what it was like to be an excited kid begging the templars for training because he just wants to keep people safe.
We get companions in these games who are broken by the time they're twenty. Solas has spent thousands of years in servitude to a cause of a woman he believed to be his only friend. He doesn't know who he is without her influence, anymore, only exists physically in the first place because she asked it of him and then asked again and again and again. He doesn't have a witty band of merry fools to pull him out of that cycle. He has Felassan, but he has him during war after war after war in the hopes of freeing others from the very situation that torments him.
Trauma from war affects everyone touched by it, nevermind the fact that Solas is actively responsible for saving the lives of thousands and feels each life like a weight around his neck because maybe he can save them like he cannot save himself. We should always be worried about the people trying to do the most good. Who is looking out for them? Why are they so determined to help others? Could it be that it's something they wish others had done for them?
Solas certainly feels comradery with Felassan from working together to free slaves from the very people he helped put in power because Mythal told him it would be okay only to leave him with the pieces, but even the Solas that Felassan knows has been turned into an attack dog shying away from the touch of the very person it desires to be near above all others by the time their relationship forms.
The fact that Solas is able to try and show the Inquisitor who he is at all is a miracle as far as I'm concerned, a sign of a peaceful spirit of Wisdom who loves knowledge for the sake of it finally sensing that there might be a chance to embrace its nature again.
Yeah, if you give him what he has come to expect from people with power, if you let near-absolute power over the masses corrupt you, he's going to bristle and try to shut your inquisitor down.
But if you show him even the smallest bit of kindness? If you treat him like the starving wolf he talks about and feed him instead of fighting him? God, it shatters his entire existence.
It's called a cycle of abuse for a reason. Finding friendship, finding the love of your long-ass life can be the first step in realizing there's better out there. But the time it takes to learn that? When you're too weary to even reach out for help in the first place and afraid of every kind word or gesture because you've never known such tenderness (on a platonic OR romantic level, both matter so so much) before?
Part of the compelling tragedy of Solas is that it's almost Orpheus-like how he knows what he has been made into and still cannot stop himself from yearning for more, from turning around to see if just this once something has changed. You can't convince me that he hasn't spent years hoping that someone will hear the legend of the Dread Wolf and see it for what it is, a leash the Evanuris created for Mythal's whipping boy to ensure that even if he ever escapes them, the people he fought to save will hate him. And I cannot blame him for the shock and terror that consumes him when he realizes someone finally has.
You give me any of dragon age companions after the amount of time Solas spent under Mythal's thumb without your character's intervention and you tell me how that looks.
You tell me if they're able to change at the first sign of something that feels too good to be true.
And then, I want you to tell me they're any less worthy of trying to save, especially when you know how good their best can be.
Solas might be hard for some fans to love, but it's only because he serves as the perfect representation of the beast we are all capable of becoming when the love that sustains us, assuming we receive any at all, is laced with poison.
The journey out of that place, out of a literal prison of regret, is brutal, and I'm thrilled that even with the many things about Veilguard I'm still struggling with, we have the chance to let Solas try again with the help of those who love him not because he never fell down, but because they believe in the beauty of a future where he gets back up again.
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at0m-b0mb-baby · 19 hours ago
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The unspoken truth
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viktor x mage!reader
| part of a series, angsty in this chapter but it will get better I promise
re-uploaded
part 2: (wip)
2.5k words
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The dim glow of Hextech light flickered in Viktor’s workshop, painting the room in a soft, golden hue. You leaned against a workbench piled with scattered blueprints and tools, your gaze fixed on Viktor as he moved through the space. His cane tapped against the floor in an uneven rhythm, the sound mingling with the faint hum of machinery.
It was always mesmerizing to watch him work. His hands were steady and precise, moving with an almost mechanical efficiency. But tonight, something was different.
He seemed distracted.
You noticed the way his fingers lingered too long on the edges of the device he was repairing. The subtle tension in his shoulders. The way his eyes flicked toward you every few minutes, only to dart back to his work when he caught you looking.
“Viktor?” you asked gently, breaking the silence.
He froze for a moment, his back to you. Then, he sighed and set the tool in his hand down with more care than usual. When he turned, his amber eyes met yours, and you could see the hesitation in them—a rare sight. Viktor was a man of conviction, always sure of his thoughts, his words, his actions. But now, he looked… uncertain.
“Miláček,” he said softly, his voice laced with his thick accent, though it lacked its usual confidence. “There is something I must tell you.”
The way he said it made your heart tighten. You straightened, a faint hum of wild magic stirring under your skin in response to the unease settling in your chest. “What is it?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He hesitated again, his fingers curling around the head of his cane for support. “It is… difficult to say,” he admitted, his brows furrowing deeply. “But I have waited long enough. I owe you the truth.”
Your stomach churned, but you nodded, urging him to continue.
He exhaled sharply, like a man prepared to be shot. “I am dying.”
The words hit you like a physical force, stealing the breath from your lungs. For a moment, you could only stare at him, waiting for some sign that he was joking, that this was some cruel misunderstanding. But Viktor didn’t look away. He held your gaze, his expression resigned and heavy with the weight of his admission.
“No…” you breathed, shaking your head. “No… you can’t you’re not-” She couldn’t even get her words out properly a stammering and stuttering mess.
“I am.” His voice was quiet, but firm. He reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “I have known for some time. My condition… It has progressed beyond what science can repair.”
Tears stung your eyes as his words sunk in. You grabbed his hand, gripping it like he’s going to fade away, as. “Viktor,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
His gaze softened, and for the first time, you saw something you almost never saw in him—fear. “Because I did not want to burden you,” he admitted. “You are… everything to me. The thought of leaving you-” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “I could not bear with it.”
“Well, too late for that!” you snapped, though your voice cracked with emotion. “Viktor, you’re the one who’s dying, and you were worried about me? And please… please don’t call yourself a burden, you are nothing of the sort!.”
He tilted his head slightly, his lips curling into a faint, bittersweet smile. “Yes,” he said simply.
The raw honesty of his answer left you momentarily speechless.
But then, something shifted inside youaa surge of determination that burned hot and wild, like the magic in your veins. You stood straighter, letting go of his hand to wipe at your tears. “No,” you said firmly. “This isn’t over. I won’t let you just-just give up!”
His brow furrowed. “This is not something you can fix, miláček.”
“Don’t underestimate me,” you shot back. “If science can’t save you, then I’ll find something that can. Magic. I have read about ancient mages that can heal sickness. If they can do it, I can learn.”
He shook his head, his expression pained. “You cannot fix everything with magic, my love.”
“Maybe not,” you admitted. “But I can still try even if it’s the death of me.”
The next day, you ventured onward. Your path was set, even as doubt gnawed at you. If there was even the faintest hope of saving Viktor, you had to try. The thought of him—his soft voice calling you sweet names, his careful hands brushing yours in quiet moments, his unyielding determination to improve the world gave you the strength to leave. But it didn’t silence the fear that churned in your chest.
The ship was weathered and cramped, its crew brusque and disinterested in your presence. They ushered you into a small cabin that smelled of salt and mildew, barely large enough to hold the narrow bed and a rickety table pushed against the wall. The grime-streaked window offered little light, and the faint creak of the ship settling in the water was the only sound.
You dropped your bag onto the bed, your shoulders heavy. Your eyes caught on a small vase atop the table, holding what might once have been a bouquet of flowers. Their petals hung lifeless, browned and curled, the stems brittle and drooping over the rim.
Something about their frailty twisted in your chest.
You reached out, brushing a withered petal with your fingertips. It crumbled under your touch, scattering into tiny flakes.
Without thinking, your magic stirred. Purple light glimmered faintly around your hand, the energy coiling through your fingers like smoke. It flowed into the flowers, weaving through the decay and coaxing it away.
In moments, the transformation was complete. The bouquet stood tall and vibrant once more, soft pink peonies blooming as if they had just been plucked from a garden. The sight was beautiful, almost painfully so.
For a brief moment, you smiled. But the smile faltered as reality crashed back over you.
Your hand hovered above the flowers, trembling. “I can heal this,” you murmured, your voice shaking. “I can heal flowers. I can mend scratches and cuts. I can close wounds.”
The words grew louder, tumbling from your lips faster than you could stop them.
“But I can’t fix him!”
The last word broke into a sob. You stumbled back, your knees hitting the edge of the bed as your breathing hitched. Tears blurred your vision as you pressed your hands to your face.
“Why? Why can’t I fix him?”
The question echoed in your mind, over and over, growing louder with each repetition. Your breaths came in sharp, shallow gasps, your chest heaving as the room seemed to tilt and blur around you.
Your magic flared uncontrollably, sparking from your fingers and racing through the air like wild lightning. The ship groaned beneath you, the wood trembling as though responding to your anguish. The table rattled, its legs scraping against the floor, and the window shattered outward with a deafening crash.
“Stop,” you whispered, clutching your head as the sound of your own voice became too much. “Stop. Stop. Stop!”
But it wouldn’t stop. The pressure in your chest built until it felt like you couldn’t breathe, the air clawing at your lungs but refusing to fill them. Your hands trembled violently, and your magic surged, making the room ripple with an unnatural hum.
“I can’t, I-….” you choked out, the words barely audible. “I can’t do this!”
Your breath came in short, desperate gasps, each one cutting through you like a knife. The pounding of your heartbeat filled your ears, drowning out the creaks and groans of the ship.
You curled into yourself, pulling your knees to your chest and pressing your forehead against them. “Please,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure who you were begging—yourself, the universe, or some unknown force that might be listening. “Please, just let me breathe.”
The ship rocked violently beneath you, the waves slamming against its hull as if matching the storm inside you.
And then, finally, it stopped.
Your magic fizzled out, the purple light dissipating into nothingness. The shaking ceased, leaving the room eerily still. Shards of glass glittered on the floor, reflecting the dim light from the broken window.
You forced yourself to breathe—slow, measured breaths that felt like they scraped against raw wounds. The air was too thick, too heavy, but you forced it into your lungs anyway.
Tears still streamed down your face as you stared at the shattered window, the bouquet of flowers untouched amidst the wreckage.
“What good is this magic?” you whispered hoarsely, your voice shaking. “What good is it if I can’t save him?”
The words echoed in the silence, their weight sinking into your chest.
You crawled into the bed, wrapping your arms around yourself into a fetal position as the exhaustion of the day finally caught up with you. The sound of the waves outside lulled you into an uneasy sleep, but even in your dreams, the pain of your helplessness lingered.
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mischiefmaker615 · 2 days ago
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No Nut November
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Summary: Loki discovering “No Nut November” and thinks this Midgardian Tradition is a must. Better try to get as much of you as possible before he’s cut off.
Rating: PG14
Note: I'm publishing this on the 27th of November Lol better late than never.
The sound of a lap top slamming shut was enough to make you nearly jump out of your skin. Quickly looking up from your book, you see from across the room your boyfriend coyly making his way over to you with that ‘I’m up to something’ smile.
‘’may I help you, good sir?” you tease with an attempt to copy his smile, causing him to chuckle and join you on the couch with his hand taking its rightful place on your thigh.
‘’have I told you today how attractive I find you?” he asked gently, his other hand reaching up to slowly brush a lock of your hair behind your ear while you set your book aside on the table.
‘’yes, you have, twice actually.’’ You smile, your face leaning a bit into his hand that now moved to cup your cheek. ‘’what seems to have gotten you in such a mood?”
‘’mood? Can’t one significant other simply enjoy the beauty of their significant other?” he asked with obvious dramatic innocence while his eyes flicked down to your lips.
His whole attitude seems.. off. He had toned it down with all the pranks, especially towards you so perhaps this was just pent-up mischief he finally needed to let out. raising your guard a bit, you knew there was a slight risk of him finally springing on you the “gotcha part” so your body instantly tensed while your hands rested on his own upon your thigh with a painted-on smile.
‘’but of course, but you do seem to be acting a bit different all the same.. are you okay?” you asked, concern now flashing in consideration while you gave him a look over as if he had any obvious injuries but his finger merely placed itself under your chin to bring your gaze back onto his own.
‘’I’m quite alright darling, the idea of having the tower to ourselves for a couple of hours today has merely given me.. inspiration of how we could simply utilize our time.’’ He said simply, an unspoken conversation laying behind what he just said but he didn’t give you much of a chance to push before you felt him lean forward and press his lips gently against yours.
All thoughts were gone as usual and you quickly reciprocated by pressing back into him, your hum being swallowed by his moan before he began leaning more forward and got you to lay on your back. His body hovered over yours, palms and forearms pressed down beside your arms to hold up his weight from crushing you while his groin gave you’re the pressure you craved.
He was a teaser, and you often didn’t win if you tried to tease him back while moving your hips up to meet his own, earning a growl before he would snatch your bottom lip between his teeth. Your hands rose up to tangle In his hair, feeling his body lower onto yours more while he hummed and leaned into your fingers.
‘’what did you say about utilizing our time?” you hinted, already a hand traveling between your bodies until you found his zipper, seeing how he smirked down at you with his forehead pressing against yours.
‘’let’s make the most of it darling’’ he winked before his lips crashed onto yours again.
~ you panted, practically stumbling out of the closet on wobbly legs while one hand tried to get your hair into place while the other hand pulled up your shirt that had fallen down your shoulder. You looked utterly wiped out. content, but wiped out.
Loki strolled out not to soon after before he came up behind you, dressed already with the help of his magic and his hands back on your hips.
‘’aren’t you sated?” you hinted with an exhausted sigh, having finished yet another session with Loki while he pressed his already back-to-hard erection against your ass.
‘’with you darling? I will never tire..’’ he purred, his chin resting upon your shoulder where he turned his face a little to press kisses on your cheek while his hands glided down towards your zipper.
‘’Loki- give me a minute..!” you squeaked, swatting his hands away where you continued to straighten out your outfit and wiggle out of his grasp.
Already this was the third time you both had been intimate today- this time having to duck in the closet with some of the team arriving home early, and still he wasn’t exhausted. Granted.. he never was, but you both normally never went at it this much in this short amount of time- within two hours.
‘’I will be happy to get you some water love, if it is privacy you are concerned with, I could meet you in our bedroom?” he offered as if it were the most innocent thing in the world while you turned around to look at him.
‘’do Asgardians go through some.. mating.. ritual or something?” you asked, running your fingers through your hair while you leaned yourself against the wall for support with the mild soreness nagging between your legs.
Loki laughed while he waved a hand, a glass of water formulating in his palm before he skillfully moved it towards you. ‘’what are you referring to love?”
‘’well..’’ you started, drawing in a breath before you took the glass of water and swirled it around, your eyes captivated at the liquid while you try to search for proper words. ‘’you seem to be in the mood.. a lot more than usual..’’ said with your free hand indicating in the air ‘hypothetically’.
Loki raised a brow as if you had spoken in another language for the first time while he extended a hand out towards you. Your eyes watched, turning your head a little so he could caress your cheek but it merely passed to rest beside your head upon the wall. Looking back at him, he stood much closer than he had with a soft yet serious look on his face.
‘’you are delectable darling, I don’t wish to lose a single moment with you..’’ he said quietly, making you bring your hand up to rest against his cheek.
‘’you’ll never lose me Loki, I promise,-‘’ you reassured, seeing how his eyes closed by the feeling of your touch until your own dropped to where his other hand was going. ‘’Loki..’’ you warned where he cupped your sex over your pants.
‘’merely healing you darling, I know you must be sore.’’ He answered without opening his eyes and a tingly yet warm feeling seemed to wash over where his hand was, making you squirm but he made sure he kept a hold. His other hand left the wall to use a single finger to tip the glass up and tilt so you could begin drinking- your words cut off to drink before he finally pulled away entirely and opened his eyes.
‘’..thank you..’’ you said with a gentle smile, soreness gone and cup empty where he nodded and flicked his wrist, the cup vanished from your fingers before his hands took both of yours.
‘’alright darling, I’ve been more than generous with the mere minute you’ve requested. Let us continue,’’ he smirked, the hungry familiar look flashed in his eyes that made your body tense and shiver at the same time.
‘’Loki please-! We just-‘’
A simple flash was all that was seen before you both found yourself upon your bed, bouncing a little while he wasted no time to climb on top.
~
You rolled over onto your stomach, blowing a strand of hair from your face while your body slumped and panted amongst the white sheets that tangled around your body. His body hovered above yours, his chest to your back while his hand reached around to gently grip your jaw and hold your head up to look towards the mirror in front of you both.
A sight to be seen and one that would definitely make you wet if you weren’t so sore again with the other three rounds that followed the previous three rounds.
‘’please Loki.. no more..’’ you mumbled, dick drunk while your fingers gripped the sheets below you.
‘’do you require healing again darling? Tell me where you’re sore..’’ he whispered, seeming to have energy for days while he buried his face in your hair with a deep inhale.
‘’we’ve never done it this much before..’’ you sighed while you raised yourself upon your forearms while your eyes watched him in the mirror.
‘’not that your complaining?” he gently teased while he brought your earlobe between his teeth, a quote you’d often say but today if hadn’t left you mouth.
‘’no it’s just.. what were you looking at on the computer this morning?” you asked, your eyes closing to try to concentrate while his other hand moved under you to fondle on of your breasts, his body resting comfortably half way on top of you with his hard on ‘still’ pressed against your ass.
‘’..why do you ask darling?” he asked after a moment, a topic he seemed to want to avoid while he felt you move about under him.
Raising himself a bit, he let you roll over onto your back so he could lay directly on top of you, your eyes searching his while his own seemed to hide something that had flashed.
‘’tell me.’’
Your gentle yet stern words made him sigh, knowing it was a simple method to demand truth that he couldn’t deny if he wished for your happiness later,. Or body. His body- the rest of him- got noticeably tenser while his eyes glanced up into the mirror, almost as if trying to convince himself to tell you before he looked back down to your waiting orbs.
‘’your.. Midgardian traditions startle me darling.. this is the last week we have with each other before I cannot have you for an entire month..’’
The sentence seemed to feel like it took three business days to register. You blinked up at him as if he hadn’t said the punch line yet, or to continue explaining but he seemed to give you the same look for you to understand it. ‘’..what are you talking ab- what Midgardian tradition?” you asked, shaking your head to rid of your confusion that seemed to share in his expression.
‘’..no nut November.’’
Your eyes widened at him, searching his dead serious eyes while you felt the beginning feeling of laughter boil inside you. Turning your head to the side, you began laughing, a hand pressed to your forehead while your middle arched and tensed from the humor fit.
Loki stared down at you, a brow raised while he slowly narrowed his eyes, taking hold of your wrists to pin you down while you caught your breath and smiled up at him.
‘’Loki, I don’t know the full origin of no nut November, but I guarantee you it is not a holiday or tradition.’’
‘’but it said-‘’
‘’what did I tell you about the internet?” you smiled, trying to hold back giggles while he exhaled in frustration.
‘’.. to not just read and go based off the first article that pops up.’’
‘’and did you?’’
‘’…’’
‘’Loki, you literally thought we weren’t going to have sex for an entire month after this week? Is that why you were trying to get us much sex while you still coul-‘’
‘’why is the first article not stating truth-? Better yet, why do you Midgardians have fake information.’’ He grumbled and slumped against you, his face buried in the crook of your neck while his body began relaxing.
It would seem he was just as tired as you.
You still couldn’t wipe the smile from your face, the humor of it all making you giggle now and again and would earn a nip on your collarbone from Loki every time he heard it. Wrapping your arms around him, your hands lazily stroked his skin, enjoying the toned muscles of his back while you closed your eyes and enveloped your senses with his scent.
‘’care for a nap?” you whispered, feeling him softly nod against you without moving much from his position while you smiled and nuzzled your face closer against him.
After a moment, your eyes fluttered open with a grumble.
‘’….. Loki-‘’
‘’I can’t help it darling, you’re so delectable...’’ 
Note: Have a Happy Thanksgiving my friends :D
Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing @yelkmelk @gruftiela @buttercupcookies-blog
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joelsrose · 17 hours ago
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Good Neighbours: Chapter 1
NEW SERIES!!! i know yall are still waiting for the next chapter of guns and roses its still in the worksss
no warnings, slow burn - reader is 24, joel is in his mid 40s
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The apartment was eerily quiet, the kind of silence that presses heavy against your chest. The space that had once been your sanctuary now feels cold and lifeless, stripped of everything that made it yours.
Boxes are stacked against the walls, their edges frayed from too much tape and too little care. The bare floors creak under your steps, each sound echoing like a reminder of how empty this place has become. Your eyes linger on the window by the fire escape, the view of the city you used to love now feeling distant, like it belongs to someone else entirely.
Chicago had been your dream. The bustling streets, the never-ending noise, the late nights at cramped bars with friends, and the early mornings at the publishing house, fueled by coffee and ambition. It was everything you’d wanted—until it wasn’t.
Your life here didn’t fall apart all at once; it unraveled slowly, piece by piece. The first crack was the breakup, a betrayal that still feels like a sucker punch every time you think about it. Three years with someone who looked you in the eye and lied. Someone who had the audacity to cheat on you with your ex-best friend.
That revelation shattered something deep inside you, leaving a hollow ache you couldn’t quite fill. You cried for weeks, the kind of crying that leaves your chest raw and your pillow soaked, until eventually, even your tears gave up. When that ended, it took more than just your relationship—it took the version of yourself who believed in happy endings.
Then came the job. Or rather, the lack of it. Months of feeling distracted and unsteady after the breakup led to a mistake on a project too big to recover from. You were let go with a sympathetic smile and a box of your things, the kind of professional pity that only makes the sting worse. With no savings to fall back on and no one to catch you, you were forced to face the one option you had left: starting over. Somewhere far away from all of this.
That’s how you ended up on the phone with Uncle Ray, the one steady, no-nonsense presence in your life. When he offered you a place to stay in Texas, you hesitated at first—what did you know about small towns, about fixing cars and country music and people who knew your name before you even introduced yourself?
But you didn’t have much of a choice. A fresh start sounded like the only thing that might save you from drowning in everything you’d lost.
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
You stood outside the airport, feeling entirely out of place as sweat clung to your skin. You hadn’t expected it to be this hot, the kind of heat that seemed to cling to you, making the air feel heavier.
Tugging at the hem of your shirt, you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, the notifications blurring together as you tried to distract yourself from the awkwardness of waiting. Then, you heard it—a low rumble that grew louder with every second, the unmistakable sound of a truck’s engine.
Looking up, you spotted it, an old Ford pickup that had seen better days but still rumbled along with purpose. Uncle Ray was behind the wheel, his grin wide as he pulled up to the curb. He climbed out, his arms open as he approached you.
"Hey, kiddo," he greeted warmly, pulling you into a hug that smelled faintly of motor oil and aftershave. He felt solid, familiar, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to relax into it.
"Hey," you returned, your voice softer than you intended.
"You ready to head home?" he asked, leaning back to give you an appraising look.
Home. The word felt foreign, strange on your tongue, but you nodded anyway, forcing a small smile. "Yeah, I’m ready."
The truck’s interior was worn and weathered, the seats cracked in places—a surprising sight considering Uncle Ray was a mechanic. Yet, it carried a charm all its own, a lived-in feel that spoke of countless miles and stories etched into every scuff and tear. As you settled in, pressing your back against the sun-warmed vinyl, Uncle Ray climbed in beside you, his fingers deftly adjusting the stubborn air conditioner until it rattled to life with a sigh.
The scenery outside was nothing like Chicago. Gone were the towering buildings and chaotic traffic, replaced by open stretches of land that seemed to go on forever. Fields of green, the occasional barn, and roads that seemed to shimmer under the weight of the heat. The town came into view slowly, a scattering of small businesses, a diner with a flickering neon sign, and houses spaced far enough apart to feel lonely.
You thought about the last time you’d seen Uncle Ray. Years ago, he’d taken you fishing on one of his rare visits up north. He’d been the same then—chill, a little chubby, always ready with a story that had you laughing until your stomach hurt.
"You holding up okay?" he asked, his eyes darting to you briefly as the truck slowed to take a turn.
"Yeah," you lied, your voice barely above a whisper.
When you finally reached his neighborhood, you leaned forward, taking it all in. The houses were modest but well-kept, each with a wide porch and a patch of green that looked as though it had been freshly mowed. Kids played on the sidewalks, their laughter echoing in the warm air. It was the kind of neighborhood where people probably knew everyone’s name and said hello every morning.
Uncle Ray pulled into the driveway of a double-story house with faded blue shutters and a swing on the front porch. The lawn was dotted with a few wildflowers.
"Here we are," Uncle Ray announced, cutting the engine. "Home sweet home."
You stepped out of the truck, the scent of freshly cut grass and something sweet—maybe honeysuckle—filling the air.
As you reached for the first overstuffed suitcase, your gaze drifted to the houses next door. Neatly trimmed lawns, colorful flowers in hanging baskets, and wide porches with rocking chairs. It was idyllic, picturesque even—a world away from Chicago's cramped apartments and noisy streets.
Your new neighbors.
It was strange being back in suburbia, where people probably waved over fences and borrowed sugar like a scene straight out of an old movie. In Chicago, you hardly saw the people next to you.
Sure, you’d hear them: the clattering of keys as they stumbled in after a late night, the thud of their running shoes as they left for an early workout. But no one lingered for niceties or exchanged cheerful "good mornings" like they probably did here.
You were lost in your thoughts, trying to reconcile this new reality, when you heard a low chuckle from the front of the truck. Uncle Ray was leaning against the hood, talking animatedly to someone.
His laughter carried easily in the warm, sticky air, a sound you’d always found comforting. Curious, you craned your neck, trying to catch a glimpse of who he was talking to.
That’s when you saw him.
He stood tall, broad shoulders casting a shadow that stretched over the gravel driveway. His hands rested on his hips in a way that made him look like he owned the space around him, completely at ease. He wore a plain t-shirt, faded from too many washes, stretched just enough to hint at the strength beneath.
His jeans hung low on his hips, worn at the knees, and scuffed boots completed the look. He wasn’t trying—God, he wasn’t even trying—but the way he carried himself made it hard to look away.
He had to be in his mid-40s, the faintest streaks of silver catching in his dark hair, but that only made him more handsome. Ruggedly so, in a way that felt deeply unfair.
"There she is," Uncle Ray called, catching you staring. He waved you forward, his grin wide. "C’mere, kiddo. Meet our neighbor."
Reluctantly, you abandoned your luggage and crossed the driveway. Every step felt heavier under Joel’s gaze—or Mr. Miller, as Uncle Ray had introduced him—but when you got closer, you noticed his eyes. Warm, earthy brown and piercing all at once, like he could see straight through you.
"This is my niece," Uncle Ray said, clapping a hand on your shoulder. "She’s staying with me for a little while. And this here," he motioned toward the man, "is Mr. Miller. Lives right next door."
"Nice to meet you, darlin’," Joel said, his voice low and smooth, with a Southern drawl that seemed to settle into your bones.
Oh, right. The pet names. Sweetheart, honey, darlin’—you’d heard them at least fifteen times since your plane landed, each one dripping with charm. But coming from him, as his hand reached out to envelop yours in a firm, calloused grip, it felt different. Better. You liked it more than you cared to admit.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Miller," you replied, your voice softer than you intended. His hand was rough and large, making yours feel almost laughably small.
He shook his head, the faintest smirk tugging at his lips. "Call me Joel, please. Mr. Miller makes me feel like I oughta be signing up for a retirement home."
You couldn’t help it; you laughed. A genuine laugh that bubbled out before you could stop it. He smiled at that, a small, almost imperceptible curve of his lips, but it was there. You noticed.
Uncle Ray, ever the social one, leaned in conspiratorially, a sly grin on his face. "Hey, Joel, how’s Sarah? She’s what—23 now? Same age as this one," he added, nudging you lightly with his elbow, as if you were part of some inside joke you hadn’t been let in on.
"I'm 24," you said, the words slipping out before you could stop yourself. For some reason, you thought it might make you sound more mature in front of the very much older man standing before you. Immediately, you regretted it—like he needed to know or cared about the one-year gap.
"Same difference," Uncle Ray said with a wave of his hand, completely unbothered.
But Joel raised an eyebrow, a flicker of amusement passing through his dark eyes.
"She’s good," Joel said, "Working over at the diner, keeping herself busy."
You must have furrowed your brows because Joel caught it immediately. "Sarah’s my daughter," he said, clarifying before you had to ask.
"Oh," you said, feeling a little silly.
Of course, he had a family. He probably had a wife, too. Your gaze drifted toward his house, half-expecting to see her step outside—a vision of blonde hair and a warm, effortless smile. The kind of woman who bakes cookies from scratch, smells like vanilla and sunshine, and waves cheerfully to the neighbors. Maybe there was even a golden retriever named Benji, lounging inside on the couch, completing the perfect picture.
"I’d love to meet her," you offered, trying to mask the pang of disappointment you didn’t fully understand. "I don’t really know anyone here yet."
Plus, my ex-best friend kinda betrayed me by sleeping with my boyfriend, so I could really use some new friends, you thought bitterly, the memory flaring for a moment before you shoved it back down.
"Course, she'd love that" Joel replied easily, his tone warm. "Y’all are coming over tomorrow for the barbecue, right?"
"Course," Uncle Ray said, already moving toward the house as his phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. "Wouldn’t miss it. Joel makes the best ribs in town," he called over his shoulder with a quick smile.
Then his expression shifted as he glanced at the screen. "Sorry, it’s work—I gotta take this," he muttered, answering the call with a distracted wave before disappearing inside.
And just like that, it was just you and Joel.
You stood there, awkward and unsure, while he seemed entirely at ease, hands still resting on his hips. He had a way about him—calm, confident, charismatic.
"You need help with your bags?" he asked, tilting his head toward the suitcases you’d abandoned.
"Oh," you blinked, realizing you’d completely forgotten about them. "No, I should be fine."
Joel’s gaze shifted to the two enormous suitcases that were clearly over the weight limit, and he raised a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching like he was holding back a laugh. "You sure about that?"
Before you could protest, he was already moving, lifting one suitcase with ease and hoisting it into his arms like it weighed nothing. You couldn’t help but notice the way his bicep flexed, the fabric of his t-shirt pulling taut as he carried the weight effortlessly. It was distracting, the kind of subtle strength that you knew he wasn’t showing off—it was just there, in every deliberate movement.
"You pack bricks in here or somethin’?" he asked, his tone light and teasing, as he glanced back over his shoulder. That faint smirk tugged at his lips, like he’d caught you in the act of staring, though he didn’t say it outright.
Your cheeks burned instantly. "No, I just—uh, I guess I overpacked," you stammered, trying and failing to sound unaffected.
He chuckled, low and warm, shaking his head as he grabbed the second suitcase, hefting it just as effortlessly as the first. "Just teasin' darlin" he said simply, his voice steady, but something about the way he said it—calm and self-assured—left your stomach fluttering.
This was going to be a problem.
Your cheeks burned, and you hoped the heat of the day would mask the blush creeping across your face. "Thanks," you mumbled, biting back a smile.
He carried the second suitcase up the porch and set it down with a satisfied nod. "There. Easy enough." He turned back to you, his gaze holding yours for a second longer than necessary.
"Well," he said, his voice low and steady, "Welcome to Texas." Your name rolled off his tongue in that unmistakable drawl, each syllable slow and deliberate, like he was tasting it.
It settled in the air between you, making your knees feel just a little weaker, your chest tightening in a way that you refused to acknowledge.
You swore he gave you a once-over before he strode back toward his house, his boots crunching against the gravel. Just before he reached his door, he glanced over his shoulder and tipped his head.
"See you tomorrow," he said, and then he was gone, leaving you standing there with your heart doing something entirely inconvenient in your chest.
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
After dinner—a greasy but satisfying burger and fries from the local diner—you finally settled into your room. It was modest, with a bed tucked into the corner and walls painted a soft beige. A worn wooden dresser sat against one wall, and the faint scent of lavender lingered in the air from a small sachet tucked into the bedside drawer. It wasn’t much, but it was cozy enough.
What caught your attention, though, was the window. It faced the backyard, and as you peered out, you realized it looked straight into Joel’s. The same backyard you’d be standing in tomorrow night for the barbecue.
The space was neat, with a patio table and chairs under a faded umbrella, a small grill parked in the corner, and string lights dangling above. You could imagine it already—laughter, the smoky scent of ribs, and Joel moving easily through it all, a beer in hand and that rugged smile.
Shaking off the thought, you flopped back onto the bed, the mattress letting out a soft creak under your weight. With your phone in your hand you unlocked the screen and hesitated for a moment. Your fingers opened Instagram hovering over the search bar before typing: J-o-e-l M-i-l-l-e-r.
You weren’t a stalker—you told yourself that twice as you pressed search. You just wanted to know more about him. Maybe seeing his wife, his family, would yank your head out of the ridiculous fantasies that had started creeping in since the moment he’d carried your suitcase like it weighed nothing.
Nothing.
The results came up empty, just a scattering of people who were very obviously not the Joel Miller you were looking for. You sighed, biting your lip, and switched apps.
Facebook. He was older—he probably wasn’t on Instagram anyway.
Jackpot. There it was—a profile with a photo that looked like it had been taken years ago. Joel stood with a much younger girl, who you assumed was Sarah, all teeth and curly hair, her arms flung around his neck as he smiled faintly at the camera. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It was sweet—simple. A glimpse of him you hadn’t expected.
You scrolled further, the glow of the screen lighting up your face in the dim room. There were more photos: Joel and Sarah on vacation by a lake, Joel in construction gear with a hard hat tucked under one arm, Joel standing next to what looked like an old truck, his hand resting on Sarah’s shoulder as she beamed up at him.
But there was no wife. No wedding photos, no anniversary posts, nothing to suggest she existed. Huh, you thought to yourself, your brow furrowing slightly.
You locked your phone and tossed it onto the bed beside you, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe it didn’t mean anything. Maybe he was just private, or maybe…
You tried to push the thought from your mind, but it lingered, the possibilities swirling in your head far longer than you wanted to admit.
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
"You ready, kid?" Uncle Ray’s voice boomed from downstairs.
"Yeah, just one sec!" you called back, turning to the mirror one last time. You smoothed your hands over the fabric of the white halter dress you’d chosen, the hem brushing mid-thigh. It was simple, breezy—perfect for the Texas heat—but there was a part of you that wanted to look good. Not over the top, but enough to feel confident. Enough to catch someone’s attention.
As you descended the stairs, Uncle Ray was balancing a platter of meat and a case of beers, muttering something about forgetting the tongs.
"I’ll take these," you offered, grabbing the beers from him before he could protest.
"Thanks, kid," he said with a grateful smile.
The short walk to Joel’s house felt longer than it should have, anticipation bubbling under your skin. You weren’t sure why you were nervous. Maybe it was the thought of finally seeing inside Joel’s house, the place he lived.
Maybe even meeting his wife. If he has one, a voice in your head whispered, though you tried to ignore it.
Uncle Ray knocked on the door, the sound heavy against the wood. Moments later, Joel’s unmistakable voice called, "Comin’!"
When the door opened, your breath caught in your throat.
If it was possible for him to look even better than yesterday, somehow, he managed it. His hair was slightly tousled, damp at the edges, and there was a sheen of sweat glistening on his tanned skin—no doubt from working outside at the barbecue. He wore a faded gray t-shirt that clung just enough to hint at the strength beneath and a pair of jeans.
Your gaze lingered a second too long, and as if sensing it, his eyes flicked to yours, a small smirk tugging at his lips. You swallowed subconsciously, the motion betraying you. He noticed.
"Ray," Joel greeted warmly, clapping your uncle on the back. "Just through there to the kitchen," he said, nodding toward the hallway for the meat Uncle Ray was carrying.
"Got it," your uncle replied, brushing past him and leaving you standing awkwardly in the doorway, the beers still in your hands.
Why did you feel so out of place? Why were you so... flustered?
"Hey, sweetheart," Joel said, his voice dropping into that low, his arm leaning against the doorframe, his familiar drawl sending warmth cascading through you. He motioned to the beers in your arms. "These for me?"
It took you a second to process what he meant. "The beers?" you asked, dumbly, earning a quiet chuckle from him.
"Yeah," he said, amused, his lips curving into a faint grin. "The beers."
"Oh. Yeah," you said quickly, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.
"Here, I’ll take ’em off your hands," he offered, stepping closer. As his fingers brushed yours, a spark zipped through you, quick and unbidden. You glanced up, catching his eyes just as they shifted—flickering down for the briefest moment.
That’s when you realized where he was looking. You followed his gaze instinctively, and your heart stuttered. The condensation from the beers had soaked into your dress, dampening the fabric over your chest. You could see the faint outline of your pink lace bra through the thin material.
Joel murmured something under his breath, so quiet you couldn’t make it out. His jaw tightened as his gaze snapped back to your face, his expression carefully neutral.
Your cheeks burned, your entire body flushing a deep crimson. But Joel—ever the gentleman—pretended not to notice. His eyes didn’t stray, not once. Instead, he made steady eye contact, his tone smooth and unaffected as he said, "Hey, come on in. You can meet Sarah. I’ll introduce you two."
He stepped back, holding the door open wider for you to enter. His voice remained calm, his movements composed, but there was a tension in his posture, a stiffness that hadn’t been there before.
You ducked your head, mumbling a quiet "thanks" as you stepped inside, the air-conditioned coolness of his house brushing against your overheated skin.
Joel’s voice followed you, steady but quieter now. "She’s out back helpin’ with the food. You’ll like her."
You nodded, trying to focus on anything other than the fact that Joel Miller had just seen far more of you than you’d intended—and that the way he handled it, with his quiet restraint and piercing eyes, somehow made it even worse. Or maybe better. You weren’t sure anymore.
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ Sarah was incredible—her energy was infectious, the way her eyes lit up when she spoke made you feel like you’d known her for years. She had Joel's kind eyes and smile. Conversation flowed easily, laughter punctuating every other sentence as you sat in the shade of the patio, the warm buzz of music and mingling voices filling the air.
"So, you moved from Chicago?" Sarah asked, taking a sip of her beer, her head tilted curiously. You nodded, but before you could answer, she grinned. "What gives? I’d do anything to get out of Texas, but I think my dad would have a heart attack if I tried."
You laughed softly at her playful tone, but inside, your heart clenched, the real reason for your move bubbling to the surface. The betrayal of the two people you had trusted most in the world—your boyfriend and your best friend—still stung like an open wound. For a moment, you thought about answering with one of the rehearsed lies you’d been telling people since it happened. Something casual, vague, easy.
But there was something in Sarah’s eyes—kindness that felt so effortless, so genuine—that made you hesitate. She wasn’t prying; she just seemed... safe. Your lip caught between your teeth as you glanced down, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.
"Well, uh, my boyfriend cheated on me," you said quietly, the weight of it easing slightly as you said it aloud. Sarah’s eyes widened, but before she could respond, you added, "With my best friend."
Her gasp was immediate, her beer nearly slipping from her hand as she leaned forward. "Oh my God. Are you serious? What fucking assholes!" she said, her voice sharp with indignation.
You managed a small, sad smile. "Yeah. So, uh, here I am, trying to figure out what to do with my life. Honestly, I don’t have a clue."
Sarah’s expression softened, and without hesitation, she reached over to rub your shoulder, her touch warm and comforting. "Hey," she said firmly, "they’re both idiots for doing anything that got you out of their lives. I’ve known you for, like, an hour, and I can already tell how stupid that was."
Her words hit you harder than you expected, a warmth spreading in your chest as the corners of your mouth lifted into a genuine smile. "You’re too sweet," you murmured, your voice soft but sincere.
"I’m serious," she insisted, her eyes narrowing slightly as if daring you to argue. "If they couldn’t see what they had, that’s on them, not you."
For the first time in a while, you felt something shift—just a little—a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you were in the right place to start over. "Thanks, Sarah," you said, meaning every word.
"Anytime," she said, raising her beer with a grin. "And hey, if you need someone to curse them out over the phone, just say the word. I’m really good at it."
You laughed, a sound that felt lighter than it had in months. "I’ll keep that in mind."
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
You sat by yourself now, nursing a drink as you watched the scene unfold around you. Sarah had disappeared into the kitchen to help with something, leaving you to take in the warm buzz of conversation and laughter that filled the air.
People were scattered in groups, mingling, sharing stories, and you couldn’t help but smile at how… nice it all felt. Like being part of a community, even if only for a little while.
It hadn’t gone unnoticed by you—the absence of a partner in Joel’s life. No photos, no affectionate glances exchanged with a woman across the yard, no lady hanging off his arm.
You’d been looking, admittedly more than you should have. And you’d noticed another thing, too: his left hand. Bare. No wedding ring, no tell-tale tan line suggesting one had been there recently.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed movement, and when you glanced up, Joel was walking toward you, his figure outlined by the afternoon sun. One hand lifted to shield his eyes from the glare as he stopped in front of you, his expression as unreadable as ever.
"Hey," he said, his voice low but carrying easily over the noise around you.
"Hey," you replied, sitting up a little straighter.
"You havin’ fun?" he asked, his tone casual but his gaze steady, like he genuinely wanted to know.
"Yeah," you said, nodding. "Sarah’s the best. She’s been really great."
His lips twitched into a grin, one of those subtle ones that made you feel like you’d earned it. "I figured you two would hit it off."
There was a brief pause, a flicker of something in his eyes as he seemed to consider his next words. Finally, he nodded toward the grill. "Hey, you, uh… wanna help me out with the grill?"
"Oh," you said, caught off guard but smiling nonetheless. "Yeah, sure." You stood quickly, brushing your hands on your dress. "I don’t know how much help I’ll be, though."
"That’s alright," he said, already turning to walk back to the grill, his voice carrying a hint of teasing warmth. "I’ll teach ya."
You followed him, the scent of charcoal and smoked meat growing stronger as you approached. When you reached the grill, Joel handed you a pair of tongs, his fingers brushing yours briefly as he did.
"Alright," he said, stepping beside you, his shoulder close enough to brush yours if either of you moved even a little. "First rule: don’t flip ’em too much. Just let ’em sit there for a bit. You flip too early, you lose all the good stuff."
You nodded, gripping the tongs tightly. "Got it. No premature flipping."
He chuckled at that, low and warm. "Exactly." He reached over, his hand lightly covering yours to guide the tongs. "Here, like this. Just slide it under real careful, and then—" He helped you flip one of the ribs, his movements steady, deliberate, his voice low in your ear.
"See? Easy," he said, stepping back but not too far, his hand lingering on the edge of the grill.
"Sure, when you’re helping," you replied with a small laugh, turning to glance up at him.
"You’ll get the hang of it," he said, his eyes meeting yours for just a beat longer than necessary before he looked back at the grill. "Soon enough, you’ll be the one teachin’ me."
You laughed softly, shaking your head. "I don’t think I’ll ever reach your level of grill mastery."
"Mastery, huh?" he teased, his grin widening slightly. "You’re just sayin’ that ’cause you’re tryin’ to get on my good side."
"Didn’t realize you had a bad side," you said before you could stop yourself, the words slipping out light and teasing.
Your heart skipped a beat as you realized how they sounded.
This was so not you—flirting? With Joel? .You immediately regretted it, your stomach twisting as you replayed the words in your head. You made it weird, you thought, biting the inside of your cheek. He probably thinks you’re a freak.
Joel’s eyes flicked back to yours, his grin softening into something quieter, almost contemplative. Then, as his gaze lingered, something shifted—something darker, deeper that wasn’t there before. His eyes traveled, not overtly, but enough to make you feel the heat of his attention, before they settled back on yours, steady and unreadable.
"Guess you’ll have to wait and see," he murmured, his voice low and rough, the kind of tone that felt like it carried a secret meant only for you. It was so quiet, so deliberate, that if the laughter and hum of conversation around you had been any louder, you might have missed it entirely.
Your breath caught for a moment, a flicker of uncertainty threading through your thoughts. Was he—? No, he couldn’t be. Could he? The weight of his gaze, the subtle shift in his demeanor, it all felt different now. Like the casual, teasing banter had taken a step into something else—something charged.
You blinked, trying to shake the thought as your heart gave a traitorous thump against your ribs. Joel’s expression shifted back to something lighter, the corner of his mouth tugging into a small, almost amused smile, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking.
Before you could say anything—ask, deflect, do something—Sarah’s voice called from the patio, pulling both of your gazes away. And just like that, the moment dissolved, leaving you standing there, wondering if you’d imagined the whole thing.
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
The rest of the evening unfolded like a whirlwind. Sarah had pulled you into the fold of her hometown friends, introducing you to a group of easygoing, lively people who made you feel like you’d known them for years.
They shared stories of growing up in the small town, teasing one another in a way only lifelong friends could, and you found yourself laughing more than you had in weeks. It was lovely, and for a while, you let yourself forget everything that had driven you here.
You hadn’t seen Joel. Not since your brief moment at the grill. Uncle Ray had left earlier, muttering something about an emergency at the shop—a customer with car trouble that couldn’t wait until morning. He’d pressed the extra house key into your hand before he left, telling you to stay as long as you liked.
But now it was late, and most of the guests had filtered out. The once-lively backyard was quieter, the string lights casting soft, golden halos over the empty tables and half-finished drinks. You hugged Sarah goodbye at the door, a plate of leftovers in your hand that she’d practically begged you to take.
"Seriously, come over anytime," she said, squeezing you tightly. "It was so nice meeting you."
"You too," you replied, genuinely meaning it as you hugged her back.
As you pulled away, you glanced around one last time, hoping to spot Joel, but he was nowhere to be seen. You shifted the plate in your hand and opened the door, stepping out into the cooler night air. The distant chirp of crickets filled the quiet, and you felt the weight of the day settling into your shoulders.
"Leavin’ without sayin’ goodbye?" a familiar voice drawled, stopping you mid-step.
You turned sharply, startled, to see Joel leaning casually against the doorway, arms crossed and his gaze fixed on you. His shirt sleeves were rolled up slightly, and his hair was mussed like he’d run a hand through it more than once. The soft glow of the porch light caught the sharp line of his jaw as he tilted his head slightly, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.
"What, I work you too hard?" he teased, his voice low and laced with that easy humor that made your stomach flutter.
You let out a surprised laugh, adjusting the plate in your hand. "I didn’t know where you went," you said, feeling suddenly self-conscious under the weight of his gaze.
"Had to clean up a bit," he replied, straightening from the doorframe. "Didn’t think you’d sneak out on me, though."
"I wasn’t sneaking," you countered, smiling despite yourself.
Joel’s smirk widened slightly, his eyes catching yours in a way that made your pulse skip. "Good," he said simply, stepping closer until he was just a little too near, the space between you shrinking in a way that felt intentional. He glanced at the plate in your hand. "Sarah guilt you into takin’ that?"
"Of course," you said with a small laugh. "I didn’t stand a chance."
He chuckled softly, the sound low and warm, before his gaze flicked back to yours. For a moment, neither of you moved, the quiet night wrapping around you like a cocoon. His expression softened, the teasing edge fading just slightly as he said, "Glad you came, though."
The way he said it—low, steady, and deliberate—made something in your chest tighten. You nodded, your voice quieter now. "Me too."
You turned toward the driveway, ready to head home, when Joel cleared his throat behind you. "I’ll, uh, walk you home," he said, his voice calm but steady enough to make you stop in your tracks.
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Joel, it’s like three steps," you pointed out, gesturing toward your house practically next door.
"I know," he replied, his lips twitching into a faint smirk. "But here in Texas, us gentlemen protect our ladies."
Our ladies. The words hung in the air, heavier than they should have been, and you felt a sudden warmth rush to your cheeks. You knew he didn’t mean it like that—not like you were his—but still the idea made your stomach flip all the same.
"Okay," you murmured, the word barely audible as you started walking, Joel falling into step beside you.
You both walked slowly, the kind of unhurried pace that almost felt like stalling. Joel’s hands were stuffed deep into his pockets, his gaze flicking around the quiet neighborhood before landing back on you.
"So," he said, his voice easy but laced with curiosity, "how long you here for?"
You sighed softly, your fingers brushing the plate of leftovers Sarah had given you as you considered your answer. "I don’t know," you admitted, glancing at him briefly. "I’m here until I figure my shit out, pretty much."
Joel nodded, his expression thoughtful. The light from your porch illuminated the edges of his profile as he turned toward your house, his next words slipping out low and steady. "Well," he said, "let’s hope that takes a while, then."
Your breath hitched, his words landing like a soft knock against your chest. He said it so easily, so casually, but something about the way his voice dipped made it impossible to ignore. You felt the blush creeping up your neck, and for a moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
Joel stopped just short of following you up, rocking back slightly on his heels. He looked at you then, really looked at you, and the warmth in his gaze sent your heart into a full sprint.
"Good night," he said, his voice softer now, before turning on his heels. He walked away slowly, his hands still in his pockets, and you couldn’t help but watch him until he disappeared into the shadows of his own porch.
You stood there for a moment, breathless and still, your mind replaying his words on a loop. The weight of them lingered, warm and undeniable, leaving you leaning against your door long after the night had fully settled around you.
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withahappyrefrain · 3 days ago
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Drowning in the Light Part 1
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Summary: Once excited about your job as a lounge singer, now you can barely get through it, thanks to your less than charming boyfriend. Can a blue eyed bodyguard pull you out of a horrible situation? Or are you both doomed by the life you chose?
Warning: extensive reference to domestic abuse (not by Bob), language, guns, mob bodyguard Bob AU (yes he comes with a warning you'll see)
***
Sharp pain seared throughout your body, starting at your legs, bruised from kicks, up to your shoulders, sore from being shoved against a wall. Then your head, God, your head. You must have hit something when you got knocked down. 
The throbbing pain surrounding your right eye was familiar. From past experience, you knew it would be bruised, no need to look in the mirror. But the sharp, stinging pain near your scalp was new. Gently, you placed your fingers on the area, feeling something wet. 
Blood. 
You should get up, take care of yourself, try to leave before the man responsible for it all comes back. But instead, all you could do was curl into a ball. 
It wasn't always like this. 
For as long as you could remember, you wanted to sing. Selling out Madison Square Garden wasn't your end goal. No, you were content to land a job where you could sing at the same place every night. No more wedding gigs that took up your entire weekend. No more supplementing your income with that lousy waitressing job. Plus, the owner was sweet on you. 
At first. 
Slowly, you sat yourself up, thankful the pain in your arms from a few days ago has subsided. It wasn't fun wearing long sleeves in late spring, but you didn't have the time to cover it up with makeup. No, you were now far too busy helping run the club, despite making almost no money from it. After all, who was going to restock the bar? Clearly not the owner. Nor would he clean up the room he just destroyed.  Chairs had been knocked over. A now broken bottle of Bourbon had clearly been smashed against the wall, the scent burning your nostrils. 
But no sign of the man who was the cause of all this. 
Looking back, the red flags were obvious, but at the time, they were easy to ignore. You were living your dream and had found someone who supported it. That was all you wanted since moving away from your family to pursue your ambitions. 
So what if he got a little jealous when you spoke to male patrons? It was easy to calm him down and besides, you quickly learned to be on the lookout for him. When he suggested you stop interacting with your family, it seemed to come with good intentions. They had never supported your dreams and their phone calls always ended with an offer to pay for graduate school, scoffing at the possibility you were truly happy. 
In retrospect, it’s possible they saw the red flags you were blind to. 
Moving in together was a no brainer. It meant you could quit your temp office job that you did only to make ends meet. It also made sense why you were giving part of your paycheck to him, to help cover household expenses. 
You were now lucky if you could stash away a few dollars from your nightly tips before he got to it. 
Running a club was stressful, especially one where clients did seedy business. They never harmed you or other patrons, unless provoked (by someone who had too much liquid courage and not enough wits about them). He started off just yelling, which then turned into shoving, which had now turned into you lying on the floor of your dressing room, surrounded by destruction. 
So you didn't get up right away. Your eyes remained closed as you attempted to block out the sounds of an argument on the first floor. Your so-called "boyfriend" was probably giving some bullshit excuse as to why he was unable to pay someone on time. 
Again. 
Tonight, you had interrupted to offer a much better reason as to why he couldn't pay a vendor on time. You even got an extension, something the club desperately needed. Can’t run a place like this without alcohol, after all. 
But that wasn't good enough. You made him look incompetent, stupid. Like he couldn't manage his own lounge. It was the truth, one that everyone could see, but making it known was a sin. You knew it would be bad with the way he grabbed your wrist, practically dragging you back to your dressing room, ignoring the stares of onlookers. 
This was a new low for him. Funny how he kept surprising you, even a year later. 
Sounds of men talking downstairs were muffled, probably one of the many seedy customers who stayed past closing to discuss less than legal matters. They were loud tonight and you'd probably have to clean up whatever mess they were making. After all, your boyfriend was far too busy to help. 
But first you had to clean up yourself. Standing up was painful, your knees throbbing from being pushed onto the hard wooden floor earlier. If things kept the way they were going, you would need a walking cane before you turned forty. 
There was no way in hell you could put up with this for much longer. You wanted to leave, it was escaping that was the problem. The other night acts felt pity for you, but they also had to make ends meet. Assistance came with a risk, whether it was losing a huge chunk of their income or worse, facing his wrath. Same with the bartenders, the bottle girls. Looking the other way was much safer. Besides, you weren’t the first they’ve seen in this situation. Won’t be the last either. 
The broken mirror encapsulated the damage done to your body. Your tights were now torn, a sleeve ripped, revealing the constellation of healing bruises on your arm. The skin around your right eye was swollen, no doubt turning into a blackened bruise by tomorrow. Some of the blood near your scalp had begun to dry. That would be a pain to hide. Applying makeup would run the risk of infection. Perhaps you could come up with a believable excuse, should Bob ask. 
Bobby. 
The thought of the blue eyed man brought a sense of warmth to your body. How such a kind man ended up working as the bodyguard of a gang was a mystery, how he kept that kindness even moreso. His boss Maverick had been a repeat customer for several months now. Where they went, Bob followed. He always made sure to comment on how well you did up on stage, even sneaking you a tip. Bob had the sweetest smile you ever saw; pink lips forming into a thin, slightly lopsided grin, the corners of his eyes subtly creasing. He didn't smile during his shifts, just with you. 
His beautiful smile entered your mind quite often. It was the nicest thing you’d see all day. Yes, you were in a relationship, but it’s not like you were in love with the guy. No, if you had a choice, it would be Bob, the man who always spoke respectfully to you, always asked how you were doing, always genuine. 
But you didn’t deserve a guy like Bob Floyd. Before, you hoped for luck. That you’d finally win this time and be happy. Be loved. 
What a fucking joke. 
Wetness began to form around your eyes. Looking up, your reflection revealed eyes brimming with tears. A year ago, you rarely cried. Now it happens almost every day. You had become numb to it, barely registering as you grabbed a tissue, trying not to physically wince as you blotted the open wound. 
It was time to fix yourself. Stuff it all down and go out and sing. Just like you did every other night. 
**
Bob Floyd had always been quiet. Truth was, he preferred to mind his own business and not get in anyone’s way. Ironic, considering his job. 
He didn’t want to do this. But when his father died and left Bob, his mother, and his four other penniless, his sixteen year old self knew something needed to change. Temporary, he had told himself, it would be temporary. Enough to get his family back on their feet. Besides, it was more de-escalating situations rather than causing them. Usually his stern voice and presence was enough to deter folks, meaning the amount of times he had to resort to violence was rare. 
It was supposed to be a temporary job. 
But he was good at it. He got promotions, more money, more stability for his family. He was able to send his mother back to school, giving his family a better life. When Iceman retired, Bob was kept on for the new generation due to his valuable knowledge and established connections. 
Jake called him a stealth pilot. Quietly lurking, observing. Taking mental notes to share later, keeping track of every detail. It was how Bob realized what was going on with the lounge singer. 
Bob had been going to the club with Jake and the rest of the crew for almost a year now. Maverick wanted to keep a low profile, so he sent the latest recruits who had proven themselves. The first sign was how the light had steadily left your eyes, even when you were singing. When Bob first met you, you were like a ray of sunshine, eyes bright, smile radiant. 
Then came the tense arguments with the owner. Bob could never hear them but he could tell from your face afterwards it wasn't a two way street. 
Bob didn't hate most people. But he fucking hated Beau Simpson. 
It was obvious he didn't treat you well. Bob noticed how prevalent bruises had become on your arms, how often you ‘bumped into something' to explain a black eye. No person could be that clumsy. 
So when Simpson had come up short on payment again, Bob didn't show mercy. 
“Isn't this the fifth time he's been late? Why don’t we go down and talk to him?” Bob suggested to Jake. 
Jake, always eager to please Maverick (and annoy Bradley) was more than happy to take him, Javy, Mickey, and Natasha over. They were a well oiled machine; Bob would find and corner him, Jake would ask the questions directly to the traitor, Javy and Mickey were there for muscle while Nat was getting the real answers from others and looking into their systems if need be. 
The coward made eye contact with Bob and then swiftly turned around, no doubt attempting to avoid him. What a fucking joke. Bob hated this was the guy you were tangled up with. 
So yeah, maybe he should have used his voice before putting his hands on Simpson. A saying his mother always told him and his siblings, her school teacher career showing. 
She also still thought Bob worked in construction. 
Bob couldn't lie, it felt good to slam him against the wall. Make him feel a tenth of the pain he caused you. It would never be enough, not unless he saw Simpson six feet under. 
But when he came into the doorway of your dressing room, the rage disappeared. It was gone the moment he saw you hunched over the vanity, applying makeup despite the steam of tears on your face. 
"Dove?"  
As soon as you turned your head, he made way to the vanity, carefully stepping over broken glass and knocked down chairs.  
Bob knelt down, his hands near yours, but not quite touching. You couldn't even look him in the eyes. Normally his special nickname would bring a smile to your face, but you were too ashamed of how he found you. 
What a fucking pathetic site. 
"Dove," he repeated, his voice now soft, barely above a whisper, "Who did this to you?" 
He knows the answer and has for months now. It's the confirmation he needs. But it's also the hope that maybe with your confirmation, he could help you begin to heal. 
The name was on the tip of your tongue. But that would mean admitting it. Not just that he hurt you. But the fact that you had become some pathetic singer who was stuck with an obvious piece of shit. This wasn't supposed to happen. When you first started working here, it was full of excitement. 
It was easy for your mind to think of Bob when you were with your partner. It was easy to think of those surprisingly soft blue eyes. In bed, you did your best to pretend it was his hands touching your body. It was an escape. A fantasy you indulged in as a desperate  attempt to not think about your current situation. 
Like he would want to be with you! You were a liability. You didn't deserve him. 
That didn't stop your heart from fluttering when you felt his fingers gently cup your face, tilting your head up to look at him. His fingers were calloused. You knew what his hands were capable of, having witnessed him sling punches, like they were nothing. 
But Bob Floyd’s touch was soft. You could feel them on your face, but he refrained from adding pressure. And gentle, oh so gentle. He avoided the bruise that was forming near your right eye. The way his thumb gently stroked your mascara stained cheek was comforting. 
Soft. Gentle. Comforting. 
When was the last time you felt any of that from someone touching you? It was a foreign concept, one you so desperately chased that you were willing to ignore the bright, beaming red flags and run head first into danger. 
By all means, he should be seen as a danger. A huge scarlet flag. His 'job' required him to oversee and commit violent, illegal acts. He didn't hide it. And with those expensive suits, rings, and those dark eyes, he looked almost like the Devil, ready to trick you into signing your soul away. 
But he wasn't like that. At least, not to you. A sweet smile, reserved only for a selective few. Eyes that pierced through your soul. His presence brought an ease to you. 
He leaned in, his forehead almost touching yours. A battle of emotions was going through his eyes. Rage. Anger. Concern. It felt nice for someone to be concerned about you. 
"Did Simpson do this to you?” He asked, voice barely above a  whisper. 
When you nodded, it felt like a weight being lifted off your chest. Finally, someone else knew. 
Bob’s jaw tensed as he nodded his head in understanding, "And was he responsible for all the other injuries you've had?" 
He did notice. Why he was paying attention to you, some lowly singer, was beyond your comprehension. 
You nodded your head, tears filling your eyes, "It's…..it's all been him, Bobby." 
He nodded, the tension in his jaw remaining. He wanted to say so much, but knew what was most important: you. Your safety. 
"Let's get you cleaned up Dove," He said softly, standing up. He stuck out his hand, clearly gesturing for you to take it. 
It felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. His large hand felt like a peace offering, a shining lighthouse in the midst of the dark, bleary night. But taking it meant Bob would now be involved. You didn't want that, couldn't have that. If he found out….sure, Bob could take care of himself. But you would feel guilty if anything were to happen to him. Besides, what would happen to you? What if Simpson found out? The beating would probably send you to the emergency room. Even worse, it probably meant you wouldn't get to see Bob anymore. 
You needed that lopsided smile and kind eyes to get through the nights. The thought of not seeing them scared the shit out of you. 
"You need a first aid kit, not concealer," Bob explained, sensing your hesitation. 
So sensible. But you didn't have time for any of that. Shaking your head, you turned back to the vanity, “I have to go on soon.” 
“We shut down the place. Need Simpson to explain why he's gone two months without paying us.” 
When you still didn't move, Bob’s hands trailed down your face, landing on your shoulders. He kneeled down, looking into your eyes, “Can I help you? Please?” 
"Bob, it's not worth it. I don't…if he finds out…” The very thought of what could happen made your eyes brim with tears.  
You were right to be hesitant. Bob wished he could scoop you up into his arms and take you far away from this place. For now, first aid would have to be done and he needed you to see that. 
“Dove, I can make sure he never touches you again, if that's what you want.” God, he hoped you wanted that, “But getting cleaned up is the bare minimum of what you need. And the least I can do after not saying anything earlier.”
So he had noticed all the bruises you tried to cover up. How the light in your eyes only came back when you were up on stage singing or talking to him. He noticed how quickly that light drained from your eyes, how fear replaced it at the sight of Simpson. Bob should have said something earlier, instead of waiting so long.
Never again. 
You didn’t know this at the time. But something, deep in the back of your mind- call it hope or wishful thinking-told you he meant it. 
So you took his hand. He could see you limping and placed an arm around your waist, allowing you to put your weight on him. Sage flooded your nostrils, his scent comforting. Bob led you to  the couch in the Manager's office, walking away to find the first aid kit. It was quiet, but not in an awkward way. You enjoyed it, to be truthful. So much of your life was loud, violent, chaotic. To sit in peace was refreshing. Though you couldn't help but look at the door, the thought of anyone being able to come in at the back of your mind. 
“He's not going to come up. Mickey and Javy are currently holding him down while he answers Jake,” Bob commented, not even bothering to look up from the first aid kit. 
How did he know? The question was soon replaced by another one, “Why aren't you down there with them?” 
Bob made his way to the couch, gently laying the kit on the coffee table, rummaging as he picked up sanitation wipes. 
“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” He confessed, the tops of his cheeks turning a dusty pink. The admission made your heart flutter. Despite his job requiring a cold, hardened demeanor, a kindness shone through. 
You witnessed it the first time Bob met you. Oh, you had seen him beforehand. It was hard not to miss the tall handsome man with the piercing blue eyes, clad in a well fitted suit. The top of his shirt unbuttoned just enough to reveal a silver chain that reflected against the lights. 
God, he was so attractive. Still is. It was your first day on the job and the last thing you wanted to do was ruffle one of the patrons. Beau had warned you that they would leave you alone as long as you did the same. 
Looking back, you wondered if his advice had other intentions, more self serving ones that out of kindness. You tried to follow his advice, situating yourself near the bathroom while waiting for your cue. Once the previous act waves goodbye, you knew it was time to move. But God, you were so nervous that day! So nervous that you were too busy inspecting your dress for any possible wrinkles instead of looking up. 
Your head ran into a firm chest, large hands quickly stabilized your body. When you looked up, you found yourself face to face with Bob Floyd. 
Instead of a scowl, there was a small smile on his face as he asked, “You alright ma'am?” 
You had been smitten ever since. Keeping a distance made sense, he didn’t deserve you. Which is why you brushed it off as just a silly crush and looked elsewhere for affection. 
“Whatcha thinking about Dove?” Bob asked before gingerly applying the sanitizing wipes to your forehead. 
“The day we met. You were so sweet, making sure that I was okay and wishing me good luck,” you spoke fondly of the memory, sharing a smile with him, “I think about that day often.” 
“I do too,” he confessed, making your heart flutter once again. It made you want to explain, want to tell him everything that had happened. 
“I....it's all been going on for a year. It wasn't bad at first. Like yeah, he would yell at me, but he'd apologize afterwards. At first he’d just grip my shoulders real hard. Then he'd shove me out of the way. But he would still apologize to me afterwards. Sometimes he'd even get me flowers. I knew business was rough, so I convinced myself it wasn't personal,” you paused, “I must sound so fucking dumb.” 
“No. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see the best in someone,” Bob mumbled as he shifted through the first aid kit, finding the right size gauze, "Doesn't make you dumb."
“That's what I kept telling myself when it got worse. Over time, he’d stopped apologizing. Made me feel bad, like it was my fault. And I knew it wasn't, but I didn't want to set him off again. By the time I realized it wasn't going to get better, it was too late. Did you know you need ID to enter those shelters? Can't get in if you don't have it. I've been trying to save up what I can to get a ride back to my hometown, but it's been six months and I don't even have half of what I need,” your cheeks felt wet, no doubt being stained by tears. 
“He takes your earnings too?” Bob asked, trying to contain his anger by clutching a rag in his hand. 
You nodded, “I can only take a little here and there, so he won't notice. I didn't want him to find out and…..” 
A sob escaped your chest. Once it was released, you couldn't stop. Given how often you cried, it shouldn't feel any different. 
But then a strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around you, gently pulling you into a broad chest. Resting your head in the crook of Bob’s neck, you felt a sense of safety for the first time in who knows how long. A soft pair of lips gently pressed against your temple, a thumb caressing your cheek. 
“We can make sure he never touches you again. And we will,” Bob murmured against your skin. 
“How?” you sniffled, “I have a contract and it’s legally binding, I can’t leave.”
He shook his head, “We can take care of that.” Your hands found his, fingers skimming over his long digits, tracing over each ring, every crevice and line. It was comforting, helping you slow down your breathing. 
Bob continued, “Natasha found out he's been running this place dry on purpose to commit  fraud. He doesn't have enough to pay us back, so Jake is gonna make him sign over the place to Maverick.” 
You had heard whispers about Bob’s boss. Apparently he wasn't a fan of Simpson anyways. Not a shocker, the man didn't even try to be pleasant. 
Looking up at Bob, your faces were now inches apart. You could see flecks of gray in his stubble and at his temples. Faded freckles were scattered across his face, like stars in the night. Sandy brown hair that curled at the ends. A button nose that accentuated his pink lips. Did he have freckles else along his body?
“Whatcha looking at Dove?" He asked, a small smile creeping across his face. 
“Just admiring how handsome you are, Bobby." The words left your mouth before your brain could process them. 
You expected him to push you away, to shrug it off.  Instead, his cheeks turned a bright red as he ducked his head into the crook of your neck. You figured that Bob heard it all the time. Besides, he was just being nice, done because he felt bad for you. 
You certainly didn't expect him to become flustered, unable to form a coherent response. His soft lips pressed a kiss against your collarbone. You could feel his smile burn into your skin, like sunshine. When you grabbed his hand, Bob intertwined his fingers with yours.  
Perhaps you weren't the only one who craved affection, for gentle touches.
“You're too sweet for me, Dove.” His breath was hot on your skin, sending a spark of electricity up your spine. 
There was always an unspoken tension between you two. So many maybes. Maybe he should have spoken out sooner. Maybe you should have tried going for Bob rather than settling like always. 
“I feel the same way about you,” it felt good to finally admit it, like a weight leaving your shoulders. For a brief moment, you forgot the circumstances of the situation. For once, it felt normal, as if you two were simply friends who met through work. 
Bob gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before sitting up straight. He studied your face, taking in every mark and line, everything that made you you. Bob also took in the bruise forming around your right eye. 
“We need to ice that eye. I'll be right back okay?” After receiving a nod, he untangled himself from your body, much to his dismay and yours. But he wasn't doing it because you repulsed him, no. Rather, he wanted to take care of you. 
"So will Maverick be the new owner of this place?" You asked, eyes glued to Bob as he moved about in the room. 
"More or less. Though he's still looking for a partner. Someone who can be at the club and help run things," He looked back at you, "Someone who has been working here for a while and was already unofficially running the place." 
You knew damn well who he was referring to. Your lips tightened as a pang of panic peaked through your brain at Bob Floyd’s proposal. Was that why he was doing all this? So he makes a business deal? 
He must have sensed this, as he quickly came back to the couch, bag of ice in hand, "If you want to. If you want to keep on singing here, you can. I also don't blame ya if you want to get the hell outta here." 
Choices. You had multiple choices to choose from. When was the last time that had happened? 
"What are you going to do to him?" It was haunting your mind. Was it worth staying here if you would always have to look over your shoulder? 
Bob leaned in, his hand gently touching your knee, avoiding the bruises, "Whatever you want us to do." 
Whatever? 
"If you want me to put him six feet under, I'll do it," He elaborated, "If you want me to scare him off, make sure he never comes within twenty feet of ya, I can do that too." 
More choices. It was your problem, you should have a say in how it was solved. 
"It's up to you Dove," He said, his thumb softly stroking your knee. 
You liked his touch. You wanted more of it. He was so gentle. 
"I want…..I want him gone Bobby. I want to never worry about whether he'll show his face again," You revealed. The idea of it being a threat, always looming in the shadows, was terrifying. How could one expect you to sleep soundly at night? 
Bob nodded his head. He leaned in and gingerly pressed the bag of ice to the corner of your eye. 
“I’m sorry,” he said as soon as he saw you wince, “It's going to hurt a little, but the cooling will help with the bruising.” 
“It would be nice to sing again and actually enjoy it. You think Maverick can actually turn this place around?” You placed your hand on his wrist. Bob wanted nothing more than to take yours and kiss your soft skin. 
That would be taking it too far. Yes, ironic, considering he already kissed your temple and collarbone. Was a collarbone kiss more intimate than a wrist kiss? Or was it the other way around? 
“Bobby?” A soft, sweet giggle fell from your lips upon seeing how his brows knitted together when he was in deep concentration. 
“Sorry Dove, what did you say?” Bob asked sheepishly. He didn't know what was worse, confessing he was distracted by your beauty or that he was thinking about kissing your body. 
“Do you think Maverick will turn this place around? Not trying to doubt your boss, but if it's just seen as a way to get back at Simpson….I don't know if I'd want to stay.” 
Bob’s heart sank. If you wanted to walk out of this place, he'd burned your contract in a heartbeat. He couldn't blame you for desiring it either. But selfishly, he wanted you to stay. He wanted to hear your voice, see your smile, and speak without having to walk on eggshells in case a certain someone was listening. 
“I think he will. He’ll probably give the place to either Jake or Bradley, either one of them will do a good job just to piss off the other,” Bob chuckled, “Besides, he doesn't want the transfer to be a big deal, so I don't see him firing folks, other than those that are loyal to Simpson. Which isn't that many. Maybe three?” Bob scratched his head, trying to think of the actual number. 
You snorted, “Three's a pretty generous number.” 
When Bob Floyd laughs, the corners of his eyes creased and he threw his head back. It was the sweetest discovery. It was also the first time you truly laughed, full belly, that day. Probably the first time in weeks. Lightness flooded your body, despite the bruises and cuts that currently marked it. 
“And if Maverick owns it, I'll be here more. I can make sure you're safe. If that's what you want!” Bob added the last part quickly. You had just gotten out of a relationship from hell, one that involved controlling behavior. The last thing he wanted was for you to think similarly of him. 
Your lips stretched into a smile, “I'd like that…to see you more. Whenever you came to visit, it was always the highlight of my day.” 
Bob couldn't help but beam, his heart fluttering at a pace that should be medically concerning, “I felt the same about you Dove.” 
Upon receiving a bright smile from you,  Bob removed the bag of ice from your face, fingers delicately skimming over the bruised skin. It was as good as it was going to get. He would be happy to help you ice it later, if that's what you wanted. Bob would give you the world if he could. 
Gathering all the courage he had (ironic considering he's killed people before), he leaned in, allowing his lips to press against your cheek. This time, it wasn't stained with tears or smudged makeup. A refreshing change that Bob hoped he could help keep. 
You leaned into his touch, fingers finding purchase in the lapels of his black jacket. Looking up, your noses brushed, his lips inches away from yours, if that. 
You could stay like this forever. In his arms, you felt safe. You felt like you could joke and laugh and be yourself. 
Knowing how soft his lips were made you wonder how they’d feel against your own. It wasn't the first time this thought flashed through your brain. But it was the first time you were close enough to find out. 
Simpson will be gone, Bob would make sure of that. There wasn’t anyone to fear, you could just lean in and-
A loud knock interrupted the sweet moment. Fear swept through your body as you buried your face into Bob’s chest. 
He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before telling you to get in the corner, right behind the mini fridge.  You did as you were told, crouching down to make yourself invisible to whoever walked through the door. 
In your position you could see Bob, pulling out the gun he had tucked in the waistband of his pants. He quickly cocked it as he moved swiftly towards the door. It was locked but that didn’t deter people here. 
“Floyd, you in there?” A familiar voice rang out on the other side. Relief flooded your body at the sound of Natasha’s voice. She was a rare sight, working more behind the scenes. It must be pretty bad if they brought her in. 
But Bob remained silent, back pressed to the wall, gun in hand. He couldn’t take any risks. Not when it came to your safety. The way he effortlessly demonstrated his care made you wish that Natasha had waited twenty seconds before knocking. 
“The rodeo is all cleared,” Nat said. At the sound of their code word, Bob let out a sigh of relief. With his gun still in one hand (just in case), he opened the door, revealing the dark haired woman, who also had a matching gun in hand. 
“We finally got him to sign over the place. Now we’re figuring out what to do with him. Got any ideas?” She asked with a smirk. 
Bob turned to your direction, as you were now standing by the couch, “I think that’s her decision. She had to bear the brunt of him after all.”
Natasha peered over, taking in your bruises and cuts. She nodded, to silently show her understanding, “What would you like?”
You had a choice. What even was the right thing in this scenario? Was it letting someone live, despite all their wrongdoings? Or was it preventing him from hurting anyone else? The blood wouldn’t be on your hands, literally. But you still played a part. 
“I….I want him gone. To not be able to come back to this place and hurt people. You guys know how to do that better than I do.” 
You saw them nodding to each other. They had probably made a decision. It was obvious what was going to happen, but you didn't say it out loud. Does that relieve you of some responsibility? 
Maybe. Probably not. But it made you feel better inside. 
“You wanna come atch?” Natasha asked, motioning to you and Bob. 
Seeing you shake your head, Bob mimicked, “I'll stay up here with her. Make sure she's all cleaned up.” 
You sat down on the couch, waiting for Natasha to leave. It warmed your heart that Bob chose to stay with you. Maybe he also felt it too, that spark of kismet that circuited back and forth. 
Bob kneeled down in front of you, eyes and hands inspecting your arms and your legs. His gentle touch left goosebumps along your skin. You shifted to the edge of the couch, clearly to help him inspect the rest of your wounds. 
No other reason. 
“I gotta clean up this scrape, don't want it to get infected.” A lovely gesture, considering you didn't make enough money to qualify for health insurance. 
You nodded your head. His large hand placed itself on the back of your leg, the other gently pressing a wipe against the cut. 
“You'll hear a gunshot pretty soon,” he warned, not wanting you to be alarmed. You nodded, bracing yourself for the imminent noise. 
Except you didn't hear a gunshot. You heard several voices arguing. 
“Who the fuck are you?!” 
“Get him!” 
“Get the gun!” 
Then, you heard a gunshot. 
“God dammit,” Bob cursed under his breath. His eyes darted to the door that Natasha left a hair open. 
He moved quickly, not even waiting for you to stand up. Instead, he wrapped an arm around your waist, the other underneath your thighs and picked you up. He carried you to the closest, gently sitting you down in the dark space. 
“I’ll be right back, Dove. But I need you to stay here. I'm going to lock the other door, but don't open it to anyone. Even if you hear my voice, don't open it unless I use the rodeo, okay?” His voice was hushed, his ocean eyes piercing your soul. 
He was leaving. A fight had broken out when they tried to off Cyclone. Started by either him or his two loyal goons. Bob was going to leave you. 
He might not come back. 
“No,” your voice shook like a leaf in the wind, “Please- don't leave me!” 
His fingers stroked your cheeks in an attempt to bring comfort, “I’ll be back, okay? But I gotta go in order to protect you. I don’t want him or one of those goons to find ya.”
In the distance, a familiar voice yelled out your name. A voice that made your blood turn to ice. 
Bob was operating off of adrenaline, off of the primal need to protect you. Desire was coursing through him as well. Your tears were for him, not because he brought you pain but rather you cared so much for him that the thought of him not returning tugged on your heart strings. He wanted to wait, to make sure you were ready and then take you out on a nice date. 
The nice Italian place that was secretly a front for Slider’s real business. Despite being a front, it made some of the best penne alla vodka in town. 
But a nice date wasn't at the forefront of Bob’s mind currently. Rather, it was your lips and how they were quivering, how soft they looked. 
His mama would smack him upside the head if she could see him now, kissing a girl he hadn’t taken out on a date yet. 
She would also smack the shit out of him for lying about his job all these years. 
Bob was too lost in the softness of your lips. Your hands found their way into his soft hair, gripping the strands to deepen the kiss. His lips were so soft, his hands gentle as they cupped your jawline, as though he didn’t want to apply additional pressure, as though he didn’t want to cause you any harm. 
You truly believed that was his intent. 
The kiss seemed to go on forever, but simultaneously not long enough. Sounds of heavy footsteps and yelling in the hallway caused him to break away. Your hands remained on the lapels of his jacket, silently begging him. 
Please. Don't go. Stay with me. Please. 
“I'll be back, okay Dove?” he whispered before pressing a quick kiss to your lips once more. He removed your hands from the lapels, silently standing up. Bob paused for a brief moment, for what you hoped (in vain) was him considering staying. Instead, he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. 
You wanted to shout, but that would be deadly. All you could do was watch Bob close the door, listen to the sound of his gun cocking and then a second door closing. 
Left in the dark. Alone. Bringing your knees up to your chest, you tried rocking yourself back and forth, silently willing the tears building up to go away. 
They still fell. 
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tthoroughfare · 23 hours ago
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kerosene (part 2) // ellie williams
*・゜゚・* summary: the one where she breaks up with cat.
*・゜゚・* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader
*・゜゚・* content: sfw
*・゜゚・* length: 0.8k
this is part two of this series! find part one here
I AM ENJOYING WRITING THIS SO MUCH i literally don't want them to get together because i just love yearning so much sighhh. i'm already up to the part where things finally happen and i know i'm gonna end up posting those, then going back and writing little extra parts to slot in where they're still friends. anywayyy hope you enjoy <3
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something about the conversation makes ellie deliberate for weeks. it was the way you’d spoken about your relationship just not feeling ‘right’, the way she couldn’t really verbalize anything she felt like she should say about cat. she doesn’t know if she’s just overthinking everything. cat’s great. sure, she can’t see herself spending the rest of her life with her, but she makes her happy. they have fun. they have things in common. she feels like she starts to make a mental list of all the reasons they’re together, analyzing the relationship, analyzing her own feelings. she can’t shake the notion that now they’re settled in, the excitement of newness gone, she, too, feels like something isn’t ‘right’.
she hopes it just goes away on its own. but when just over a month passes and nothing has changed, she knows she has to just do it. 
it starts off as a regular day; she meets cat at a spot they frequent, stomach churning at the anticipation. she wants to just rip the band-aid off, but she can’t. the words won’t come out. she flounders around for a while, talking about nothing, knowing full well cat can tell something’s up. finally, when she straight up asks her why she’s being weird, she just comes out and says it. she wants to break up.
of course, she feels awful. cat’s confused, and crying, and asking all kind of questions ellie can’t really express any answers to. she’s upset about it, too. but she just knows in her heart it’s for the better.
it’s cemented when she’s walking back home, realizing she feels a little lighter.
she sees you properly again about a week later, when there’s an event in jackson. she really wasn’t planning on going, not wanting to risk seeing cat (not wanting to have to interact with anyone, pretty much), but dina had convinced her, saying she ‘can’t lock herself away forever.’
she walks in late, party already in full swing, and immediately spots you in the corner chatting to jesse. you haven’t actually spoken in a few weeks, just a greeting when you saw each other out and about, but you seem happier than you were before. she kicks herself mentally when she finds herself hoping it’s not because you’ve found someone new.
she awkwardly hovers around, getting herself a drink and sipping it, people watching. these things were never her idea of a great time.
after about ten minutes, dina appears at her side, visibly tipsy. “what the hell are you doing?” she asks playfully, gesturing at the room full of people. “you’re a single woman now, c’mon. get out there.”
ellie pulls a face, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. “yeah, that's definitely my style.”
dina lets out a short, exasperated sigh, taking ellie by the wrist and tugging her across the room, towards you and jesse. “at least socialize. you’re all… weird. more than usual.”
“oh, shut up,” she retorts lowly, but allows herself to be hauled over to the two of you. her stomach flutters slightly when she gets a proper look at you; you’re a little more done-up than normal, eyes sparkling in the warm light as you greet her.
she doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or something else, but that night is the first time things start to feel explicitly different. on one hand, it’s similar to how it was before — the odd pleasantness dissipated in the air. it feels more like a real friendship again, rather than two people dancing around each other. but on the other, something just feels… new.
she actually ends up having a really good time. she spends the majority of the night with you, drinking more than you both probably should, conversation flowing easily. and when it’s over, she insists on walking you home, despite you saying dina’s staying the night and you weren’t going to be alone anyway.
she just shrugs and smiles.
on the short walk back, dina’s chatting your ear off, thoroughly drunk, but you can’t really focus on anything she’s saying. not just because of the fuzzy feeling in your head, but because of the way you’re so, so aware of ellie’s presence. you’re walking in between them, noticing the way she seems to gravitate towards you, swaying away slightly, then back in. you cross your arms, not wanting to accidentally brush against her, not really understanding why.
she lingers at the door when you get home, dina heading straight in and kicking her shoes off, flopping down on your couch.
“well… thanks. you’re free to go,” you joke after a small pause.
ellie shoots a lopsided smile, leaning against the doorframe. “welcome.” she pauses, like she doesn’t want to go, like she wants to say something. but she doesn’t. she just taps the doorframe and stands up straight. “see you later.”
dina yells out a ‘bye, ellie’, and you wave goodbye as she turns around to leave, trying not to think about the way that smile sent your stomach all funny. “get home safe. update me on the hangover.”
she looks over her shoulder at you as she walks away, chuckling. “will do.”
you go to close the door, watching her stuff her hands into her pockets and make her way down the street for a moment too long.
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allthingsfangirl101 · 2 days ago
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Not Hangman To Her – Jake "Hangman" Seresin
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"We are about to embark on an emergency rescue mission," Maverick said. Instantly, all of the pilots straightened up as he continued. "The U.S.S. Reynolds set off three days ago. Their mission was supposed to be simple but it took a bad turn. After a dogfight, three out of their four pilots were killed."
"What about the fourth?" Rooster asked.
"She's MIA," Maverick sighed. "We are close to her last known coordinates. We've been asked to complete a search and rescue."
"Who's the pilot?" Phoenix asked.
"Her name is Lieutenant Y/F/N Y/L/N."
Hangman's heart jumped into his throat when Maverick put the pilot's picture on the screen. His mind raced as his eyes and thoughts were glued to the girl he met in training.
Y/N? There's no way she would be mixed up in all this. She's the best pilot. Whatever happened was not pilot error. Y/N didn't do anything to put her in this position. She's too. . . perfect to make a mistake that would cost her her life or the lives of her team.
"Hangman."
Hangman jumped when Rooster walked by, kicking his shoe. "You good?"
"I'm fine," Hangman said, clearing his throat.
"You sure?" Payback scoffed. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Do you know someone on the U.S.S. Reynolds?" Phoenix asked.
"No," he said a little too quickly. "Why would I know anyone on the U.S.S. Reynolds?"
Before his team could tell he was lying, he left the room. He went back to his bunk and slammed the door shut behind him. Hangman frantically searched through his stuff, and at the very bottom, finally found the picture of him and Y/N in training.
~ • ~
"Keep up, Seresin!" Y/N laughed as she ran ahead of me.
As fast as I pumped my legs, I could never outrun Y/N. Then again, I didn't try to. I couldn't help but like the feeling I got when she bragged about being the better pilot. I loved how happy she got as she excitedly jumped around after beating me. I liked that it made her so happy.
"I win again!" Y/N giggled as she jumped and spun around. "Say it. Say that I am faster than you, Seresin. Say it. Say it. Say it."
I pretended to be angry as she jogged around me and chanted for me to say it. I didn't mind saying it but she expected me to push back, so I did.
"If I say it, will you stop circling me?"
Y/N stopped right in front of me. She smiled cheekily at me as she bounced on her toes. "Did you have something to say to me, Seresin?"
"You are the faster runner, Y/L/N," I recited just for her. "You're better than me."
"And don't you forget it!" She giggled as she went back to jumping up and down. Suddenly, her ankle gave out. I instantly caught her and pulled her close to my chest.
"You okay?" I asked, my voice soft.
"I think so," she said slowly.
"Are you sure?" I asked, starting to panic. "Maybe I should take a look at it. Here, sit down and I will. . ."
"I'm fine, Jake," Y/N chuckled as she patted my shoulder.
She turned away from me and stretched her legs as I overthought the last 2 minutes. The thought of Y/N in pain made me want to do anything I could to make sure she wasn't in it anymore.
I'd do anything to make sure Y/N was happy, healthy, and safe.
~ • ~
Hangman snapped out of the memory, his hands shaking as he held the picture. The idea that Y/N was out there somewhere, lost and alone, filled him with more fear than he knew what to do with.
"She's okay," he mumbled to himself. "She's safe. We are going to find her. We are going to find her. I will find you, Y/N, I promise."
* * * * *
The next few hours went by in a blur for Hangman. The ship changed course toward Y/N's last known location. When they got there, Hangman and a few others took off in their planes and began searching the water for any sign of Y/N or her plane.
As he searched, all Hangman could do was think of the worst-case scenarios.
What if they're looking in the wrong area? What if they find her plan but not her? What if they find her but it's too late? What if they find her and get her back to the ship, but can't save her? What if he never finds her? What if he loses her? What if he loses her before he gets a chance to tell her how he feels?
"We got her!" Rooster yelled, pulling Hangman out of his spiral.
"Well, we got pieces of her plane," Payback sighed.
Hangman quickly turned around and flew to them. He started searching the sea for any sign of the girl he was crazy about. Finally, his eyes landed on something that instantly burned into his brain - Y/N unconscious on a piece of her plane.
"I got her," he said, his voice not nearly loud enough. He cleared his throat and tried again but louder this time. "She's over here!"
"Maverick, we got her! We need a search and rescue party now!"
"Stay there," Maverick instructed through their headsets. "We're sending one to your coordinates now."
Hangman didn't move his plane an inch. Instead, he stayed right where he was and kept a close eye on Y/N's unconscious body. He wanted nothing more than to dive into that water and swim to her. Instead, he hovered close enough to keep an eye on her as the ship sent a medical boat to their location. Hangman watched as the divers pulled her out of the water and safely onto the boat.
Once they had her, Hangman sped back to the ship. He landed and instantly jumped out of his plane and ran as fast as he could to the infirmary. When he got there, they were just bringing her in.
"Y/N?" Hangman panicked. His heart jumped into his throat when he caught a glimpse of her unconscious and pale body.
"Woah, stop," Maverick said as he grabbed Hangman before he could run into the exam room. "The doctors have her. They will do whatever they can to help her."
Hangman looked behind Maverick to see the exam doors close, separating him from the girl of his dreams.
"They will come get us as soon as they have any news about Lieutenant Y/L/N's status," he said with a knowing look in his eyes. Maverick wasn't sure how Hangman and Y/N were connected, but one look at the worry in his eyes and Maverick knew there was something.
"I just want to. . . I wish there was. . ." Hangman stuttered. "I just want to help her, Mav."
"All we can do now is relax and wait," Maverick said gently. Maverick studied him briefly before finally asking, "How well do you know Lieutenant Y/L/N?"
"Y/N and I were in training camp together," Hangman sighed as he sat in a nearby chair. "Some guys in our group were giving her a hard time. I defended her and after that, we got close. We ran together, trained together, studied together. We did everything together until we got our orders to ship out. We were sent to different ships and. . . I haven't talked to her since she shipped out. I tried to keep track of her but. . ."
Maverick waited for him to continue, but Hangman got distracted by his memories. Maverick sat next to him and gently patted his shoulder. "The good news is we found her," Maverick tried to comfort him. "The doctor told me that he thinks we got to her just in time."
"That's good," Hangman said numbly, "I guess."
The rest of their team slowly trickled in as they waited. Two hours later, the doctor finally came out.
"How is she?" Hangman panicked as he jumped up and met the doctor.
"She's okay," the doctor reassured. "She's dehydrated, a little sunburned, and has a slight concussion from the crash. Honestly, she should be way worse. She's extremely lucky."
"So, she's going to be okay?" Hangman double-checked.
"She's going to be fine," he nodded. "All she needs is a couple of good nights' sleep and some healthy meals. She should be back on her feet in a few days. I would, however, recommend that she not return to her ship just yet."
"Why not?" Bob asked.
"Well," the doctor sighed, "if we send her back to her ship, they will most likely put her back in a plane. She may be physically alright, but we have no idea how she is mentally. And that's something we can't check or test until she wakes up."
"Thank you," Maverick said, shaking the doctor's hand before he went back to Y/N.
"Wait," Hangman said, jogging to catch up to the doctor. "Is there. . . I was just wondering. . . I know her and. . . I was hoping. . ."
"She's not awake," the doctor said gently, "but you can sit by her bed until she does."
Hangman took that invitation and instantly went into Y/N's room. When he saw her asleep in the bed, his heart broke. He numbly walked over and collapsed into the chair next to the bed. He scanned her, searching for any injuries. She had a pretty big gash on her forehead, pieces of glass were taken out of her face, and she had bruises across her chest from her harness.
With shaking hands, Hangman reached over and gently grabbed Y/N's hand. "I'm right here, Y/N," he whispered. "And I'm not going anywhere until you wake up."
* * * * *
Y/N was unconscious for the next 14 hours. Hangman stayed by her side the entire time. His crew tried to get him to leave, but he refused. He barely ate and didn't sleep as he waited for her to wake up. He was starting to fall asleep when he felt her hand tighten around his.
"Y/N?" He whispered.
"Jake?" Hangman instantly leaned forward when he heard her beautiful voice whisper his name. "What are we. . . I thought you were. . . Where am I?"
"It's okay," he instantly soothed. "What matters is that you're safe. What do you remember?"
"I don't know," she said, shakily. "It was supposed to be a simple mission. But. . . I was shot down."
Hangman tightened his grip on her hand and scooted closer to her. He watched, his heart breaking as she remembered what happened. When the tears started streaming down her face, he gently caught one with his thumb. He kept his hand on her face as he tried to comfort her.
"Y/N," he said gently, "everything's okay. You're safe, okay? We found you and we are going to take care of you."
"Jake?" Her voice broke. He moved his hand from her face and scooted closer to her.
"Yeah?"
"Were you the one that found me?"
"Well," he cleared his throat, "I just. . . My whole team was there."
"But you found me," she said, already knowing the answer. "Right?"
Hangman laughed awkwardly as he reached up and scratched the back of his neck.
"I knew it," she chuckled weakly. Hangman felt his face burn as she smiled at him.
"How'd you know?" He chuckled.
"I like to think I know you pretty well, Seresin."
Hangman smiled when he remembered why she never liked calling him Hangman. She actually hated his callsign. She always said it didn't fit him. And when it came to her, she was right. He'd never hang her out to dry.
"Because," she continued, "You always find me when I'm in trouble."
"I would've searched the entire ocean for you," Hangman mumbled. Y/N's face softened when she saw the seriousness in his eyes.
"Jack," she whispered as she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward her. He didn't fight her as she pulled him down so he was lying next to her.
"I'm really glad you found me," she whispered, cuddling into his chest.
"Me too," he mumbled as he looked down and saw the exhaustion in her eyes. "I promise I won't let you out of my sight this time."
She let out a small giggle causing him to tighten his arms around her.
"I've really missed you, Seresin."
He looked at her and watched her eyes flutter closed. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.
"I've really missed you too, Y/L/N."
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lumitoiile · 3 days ago
Text
zhongli : [fleeting.]
☆ — tw! + content: by the time the lord of geo even comes to terms with his feelings, it's already far too late... angst, themes of d3.th. gn! reader (no pronouns.)
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throughout the extended course of his life, zhongli has long since learned to appreciate the beauty in all things—even the temporary ones. 
the way the leaves fall from trees, the glow of lanterns at night, the way the wind breezes through the streets of liyue harbor... all things that would eventually come to pass, eroding away with time. mortals were very much the same. he has walked alongside them, observed them, and let them go, as is the way of the world.
then you came along.
you weren't the first human to intrigue him, but there was something bewildering about your presence in his life. perhaps it was how you treated him so unguardedly, never hesitating to share your thoughts, your laughter, your kindness.
you worked at a small tea shop he frequented, and though he'd initially visit for the quality of the tea, he found himself returning for another reason entirely. he told himself it was simple admiration, an appreciation for your warmth and the light you brought into the lives of others. but deep down, he knew he couldn't be fooled.
there was something different about you. something he could never fully place. it gnawed at the edges of his mind, bothering him in ways that defied his understanding. you would smile at him with an openness that felt disarmingly sincere, and speak to him with an ease he'd only ever known among those closest to him in his long, distant past.
it was troubling. dangerous. even in his mortal guise, he should have known better than to allow such feelings to grow.
so he kept his distance. you were temporary, after all; a fleeting thing. even when you would reach out with a friendly invitation or make a small effort to draw him closer, he would find an excuse to step back. to draw a line, to remind himself who he was... and what you were.
he decided he would simply admire you from afar, steadfast in his resolve and having convinced himself he was doing the right thing. what would come of permitting himself to indulge? only heartache and loss, things he had seen unfold countless times before.
there was one day when you had lingered by his table a bit longer than usual, a hopeful look in your eyes. "mister zhongli, would you care to join me on a walk? my shift ends soon, and the sunset is just lovely at this hour."
he hesitated, a flash of warmth stirring in his chest at the thought alone. he could almost picture it, walking with you, sharing a quiet moment alone together as the sun dipped below the horizon.
but he would not let himself yield. he cleared his throat, offering an apologetic smile. "i appreciate the offer, but i have business to attend to."
you nodded once and tried to hide the disappointment in your eyes. but he saw through you, and the sight lingered with him long after he left the tea shop.
still, no matter how many times he had refused you, your kindness never wavered. as the years passed by, you continued to reach out in small ways—a shared story, a cup of tea specially brewed just the way he liked, an invitation to join you on an evening stroll. sometimes he accepted, allowing himself brief moments of joy and companionship.
but he always maintained a wall between the two of you, an invisible barrier he felt he could not cross. he constantly reminded himself that it was for the best; you were human, he had told himself, incredibly fragile. it would be cruel to impose on your life, no matter how brief it might be. the least he could do was ensure that your world remained free of his interference.
but time moved on, as it always does.
your laughter grew quieter, your once sure steps slower. zhongli saw the signs and felt the familiar pang of inevitability. he watched as you grew older, the years etching lines of wisdom into your face and leaving your loud, bright voice soft with age, until one day... you simply weren't there.
he visited the tea shop for the first time in ages, only to receive confused looks and strange stares upon asking for you. who was he referring to? there was no one here by that name, they had said. no one they knew of.
you were gone.
loss was not a new experience for zhongli. though it wasn't until he reached the place where your ashes had been scattered—a spot up in the mountains overlooking the harbor—that he truly understood the finality of it all. there would be no more lingering glances, soft smiles, or warm invitations to walk with you and admire the sunset. he would never again see the way your eyes lit up when you'd greet him hello, or hear your laughter.
the regret sank in like a stone, unyielding and overwhelming. he had anticipated this. he thought he had prepared himself for this. but the painful ache in his chest grew into something sharp, something that twisted with every breath he took.
he knelt there, reflecting on every opportunity he had missed, the words he never expressed, the warmth he had turned away from. he told himself it was for the best, that he was doing what was right... that a god had no business falling for a mortal. yet here he was, mourning you with a grief so profound it left him hollow.
"i thought this was the answer," he said, his words disappearing into the gentle breeze. "i believed i could spare myself this pain by keeping you at arm's length. but perhaps... i was a fool."
the wind rustled gently around him, offering a small sense of comfort. he closed his eyes and allowed the ache to settle within him. he stayed there for what must have been hours, grieving quietly as cherished memories of you played in his mind. in that moment, he realized that there had been no safety in the distance he kept, no way to avoid the torture of your absence.
and as the sun faded below the mountains, casting the harbor in hues of gold and amber, he had finally declared the words he had never spoken aloud.
"i cared for you," he whispered. "more than i should have. more than you knew..."
the wind carried his words away, fading into the stillness of the world. morax, the god of contracts, had lost something he could never retrieve—not with all the wealth and wisdom in the world.
perhaps in another life, he could have loved you properly.
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© lumitoiile. please do not copy, steal, translate, or edit my work.
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wolfsclothing6 · 18 hours ago
Text
ThanksGaining
Ryan had always been the black sheep of his conservative family. An outspoken left-wing activist and proud member of the LGBTQ+ community, he often found himself at odds with the rest of his relatives, who were staunchly conservative and fiercely proud of their traditional values. Still, when Thanksgiving rolled around, he knew better than to skip the family dinner—despite all the uncomfortable debates, the political jabs, and the endless discussions about how the country was "going downhill."
This year, however, something felt different. As Ryan walked into his uncle's house, he noticed a strange air of calm around the place. There were no heated discussions about the latest election or news headlines. Instead, the smell of roasted turkey and pumpkin pie filled the air, and his uncle, Steve, greeted him with a firm handshake and a bear-like hug.
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"Glad you could make it, kid," Uncle Steve said with a hearty laugh. He was a big guy, burly and broad, the epitome of a trucker who loved his country, his guns, and his freedom. His rough hands patted Ryan's back as he gestured for him to come inside.
Ryan smiled awkwardly, setting his bag down and following his uncle into the living room. "Thanks for having me," he said, taking in the sight of the house—antique wooden furniture, American flags hanging proudly on the walls, and the faint smell of diesel and cologne. It was… a far cry from his hipster apartment in the city.
Dinner was served, and as the family gathered around the table, Uncle Steve poured everyone a drink. "You know, Ryan," he began, his deep voice carrying across the table, "I’ve been thinkin'—you've always been so... focused on your own side of things. Maybe this year, you should take a look at the world through a different lens. It might just surprise ya."
Ryan raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Uncle Steve smirked, his eyes twinkling. "Oh, you'll see." He nodded at Ryan's plate, which was already piled high with food. "Go ahead, eat up. You've been lookin' a little skinny lately."
Ryan didn’t think much of it at the time. He dug into his meal, feeling the warmth of the family around him. But soon, he noticed something strange—every bite seemed to be making him feel fuller, more content, more… relaxed. His thoughts began to shift. The usual discomfort he’d felt around his family was fading, replaced by something entirely new. He felt a deep sense of pride in the food, in the family, in everything that was so… traditional.
A few minutes later, his body started to feel heavier, like the weight of the meal was settling deep inside him. His shirt began to stretch, his muscles swelling and softening. His arms, once slim and toned, thickened with layers of muscle and fat. Ryan felt his stomach bulge out in a way he had never experienced before. The loose-fitting jeans he wore started to cling to his expanding thighs, and his once-sharp jawline softened as his face filled out, a new layer of stubble growing along his chin.
Ryan looked around the room, suddenly feeling a sense of belonging. He had always been the "outsider," but now, as his body grew broader and stronger, he realized how comforting the atmosphere felt. His clothes, once fashionable and tight, were now too small. He could feel the fabric straining, almost as if it couldn’t keep up with the transformation his body was undergoing.
"What’s happening to me?" Ryan muttered under his breath, his voice suddenly deeper and gruffer. He felt like he was being pulled into something, an overwhelming desire to become someone different. To be someone stronger. Someone who was proud, loud, and completely comfortable in his own skin.
Uncle Steve noticed the change and smiled knowingly. "Don’t worry, Ryan. It’s just the way things are supposed to be," he said. "You’ll be just like me soon enough."
Ryan’s thoughts began to blur, and before he knew it, the skinny, left-wing activist he had been earlier that day was almost completely gone. The man in front of the mirror now looked like a full-bodied trucker—muscular, broad, and thick with a layer of fat on his belly. His hair grew thicker and darker, and his body was covered in the kind of rough, masculine hair that signaled a true bear. His clothes, now stretched tight over his new bulk, barely hung on to him, the fabric smelling faintly of diesel and cologne.
As Ryan sat back down at the table, his body now taking up much more space, a strange, prideful smile spread across his face. The old Ryan—who would argue about politics, who would criticize his family's lifestyle—was gone. In his place sat a man who loved his country, who proudly supported the family’s values, and who would gladly embrace the simple, no-nonsense life of a trucker. He even felt an intense pride in the way his stomach now pressed against the table as he devoured the rest of his meal.
"Welcome to the family, kid," Uncle Steve said with a knowing grin, his arm draped around Ryan’s broad shoulders. "It’s about time you figured it out."
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And for the first time, Ryan didn’t mind one bit.
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marauder-misprint · 2 days ago
Text
Charms
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!reader
1.5k words
cw: fluff
After lunch, you had a free period. You had gotten comfortable in a bay window with a book and it didn’t take long for one of Hogwarts’ strays to find you. You had started with just absentmindedly petting it, but then it curled up in your lap and fell asleep. You both loved and hated how content it looked snoozing away. You groaned when the bells chimed to signal the end of the period. You couldn’t move, not with a sleeping cat in your lap. How could you disturb its rest? 
You sigh. At least it’s only Charms. You accept your position and continue to read. You’re certain that Pandora or Dorcas will take notes when they notice you’re not there. If worse comes to worst, you could see if Evan or anyone else has notes. Or you could have Dorcas ask Marlene for Lily’s notes. Staying with the cat seemed more acceptable with each person you added to the list of possibly having notes. For all you know, Professor Flitwick could be reviewing a spell you’ve already mastered and you’d be bored out of your mind anyways. Yes, staying here and letting the small creature remain unbothered was okay. 
Sirius, who had gotten better at sneaking glances at you during the classes you shared, notices right away when you aren’t in your seat next to Pandora when Charms starts. As much as he wants to point it out to his friends and get their opinions on where you might be, he doesn’t. If he did, he’d endure more teasing about “still being intrigued” by you. He was. He just doesn’t want to deal with his friends right now. 
Despite knowing you aren’t there, Sirius continues to glance toward Pandora throughout the class. He also looks at the door. He’s hoping you’ll walk in with some excuse for being late, but you never do. Sirius has never found it so difficult to pay attention in class. He really hopes that his friends don’t notice him scanning the room and ask him what he’s looking for. Still intrigued. He wasn’t sure if this intrigue was developing into something more. Interest. More than interest. He felt a need to get to know you better. To get you to like him. You were a dog person after all. You should like him. 
After class, rather than heading straight to his next lesson, he looks around the corridors a bit. He’s looking for you, but if anyone dared to ask, he would claim to be looking for a dropped quill or something. Is a quill a believable thing to be searching for? If he dropped an ink pot, that would break. Maybe a misplaced textbook? He’s still thinking of possible excuses for what he was looking for when he spots the real thing: you. Your hair seems to glow in the sunlight from the window where you’re sitting, book in hand and cat in lap. Of course you had an animal with you.
“Ah, there you are!” Sirius exclaims, strolling toward you. “You missed Charms!”
You tilt your head, looking up at the voice. 
“Have you come to give me your notes?”
“Do I look like I take notes?”
“No, but looks can be deceiving.”
A crooked smile appears on his face. 
“And how do I look, darling?” He strikes a pose, earning an eye roll from you.
“Like a pompous arse who doesn’t have notes to offer me?”
“Hmm, not the answer I was going for.”
You snort a laugh, which slightly disturbs the cat still sleeping in your lap but it adjusts and falls right back asleep.
“What do you want to hear? Oh, Sirius, you’re so dreamy and fit and charming and dashing,” you say in your falsetto.
Sirius laughs and leans against the wall near your feet. 
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Then go find your fan club. They’ll tell you that.”
You turn back to your book, hoping he’ll leave. He doesn’t.
“Are you not in my fan club?” he asks, tapping your shoe with his finger. 
“No. Never have been,” you say. Your eyes are glued to the pages of your book. 
“It’s always accepting new members.”
You look up at Sirius with an annoyed look, which softens quickly when you see Regulus approaching from behind him. 
“Reggie!” you call with a wave.
Sirius spins around, coming face to face with his brother.
“Sirius,” Regulus greets his brother coldly. His tone warms when he looks back to you. “I have bad news for you.”
You groan. “It’s formal?”
He nods and Sirius looks confused.
“What’s formal?”
“You’re still coming, right?” Regulus asks you, his eyes pleading you to say yes. “Please?”
“Yes, I’m still coming,” you say and his face lights up. “But! You’re coming dress shopping with me.”
His face falls. “Why?”
“Because I’m not taking Dorcas or Pandora.”
“What do you need a dress for?” Sirius asks. 
His interest in whatever his brother has invited you to is growing. What event was Regulus taking you to that you needed to wear a dress? He was amused that you would be dragging his brother shopping for said event. That unnerving feeling that he had in his stomach a few days ago outside returned as he thought of you twirling in a dress in front of Regulus for his opinion. 
Regulus shot Sirius an annoyed look, as if saying it wasn’t any of his business. 
“Just a Slug Club thing,” you say, waving your hand dismissively at Sirius. “So, Reg, we’ll go to Hogsmeade this weekend, yeah?”
Sirius didn’t wait for Regulus’ answer. He left you two with his mind spinning on how he could be invited to this Slub Club thing. Who did he know that was in Slug Club and would likely not already have a date picked out? 
“Yeah, this weekend works,” Regulus says. He pauses as he turns to see how far away Sirius had gone. “Why was he here?”
You shrug. “Don’t know. Thought he was maybe going to offer me notes for Charms, but no.”
“You were here all period, weren’t you?” he asks, eying the sleeping cat.
“Little thing is just so comfortable. You can’t blame me!”
“You’re unbelievable sometimes, you know that, right?”
“It was just Charms!” you exclaim. 
“And you skipped it.”
“Yes, I did.”
“What do you have next?”
“Transfiguration…”
Regulus gives you a small smile before he scoops up the cat. It chirps with wide eyes at the sudden movement. He gently places it on the ground and it runs away. 
“Come on,” he says, grabbing your hands. “Let’s get you to Transfiguration.”
“But!”
“No buts! As your friend, I can’t let you skip classes all day because a cat was sleeping.”
“Regulus,” you whine.
“I won’t hear it,” he says definitively. “You’ll thank me later.”
“Doubtful,” you grumble but now that you’re standing, you let Regulus lead you to your next class. 
---
It hits Sirius after dinner when he’s in the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily is in Slug Club. Despite all of James’ attempts, she is very single and likely needs a date to the party. She could be his way in. He was fairly certain he hadn’t seen her buddying up to any guy recently. He approaches the table where she’s sitting with Mary and Marlene. He puts a genuine smile, hoping it helps his cause.  
“Evans! You know how we’re best friends, yeah?” 
“Words never used to describe us, but go on,” Lily laughs as she looks up from her homework. 
“I’ve decided that I’ll be your date to Slughorn’s party.”
She looks at him with a confused expression.
“You’ve decided?”
“Yes.” 
“And you want to go to that?”
“Yes.” 
“Do I want to know why? Usually people not in Slug Club are more than glad not to go,” she says.
He presses his hands on the table and leans forward. “I just need to be there.”
“Need to, huh? Would you behave?”
“Yes!”
“I don’t believe you, Black.”
“What would I even do?”
“I don’t know. Prank Severus or something stupid.”
“I thought you didn’t like him anymore,” Sirius says, his brows scrunching together in confusion.
“I don’t,” Lily says pointedly. “But that doesn’t mean I want my guest at Slughorn’s party to be causing a scene. It’s my image on the line.”
“I promise I’ll be on my very best behavior.” SIrius looks around the common room. “I swear it on Remus’ books, James’ broom, Peter’s wizards’ chess and my hair.”
“You almost have to say yes now,” Mary says with a giggle. “He swore on his hair and I want to see what happens when he fucks it up.”
“I won’t!” he asserts. 
“I suppose it saves me from actually asking someone… Alright, Black. You can come.” She pauses and looks Sirius up and down. “You know you have to dress up, right?”
He nods and smiles at her. “That’s part of why I need to go.”
Lily exchanges glances with Marlene and Mary as Sirius returns to where his friends are gathered near the fire. 
“You’ll have to give us a play-by-play. Black needing to go to Sluggy’s party?” Marlene tells Lily. 
“Do you have any idea what that’s about?” Mary asks.
Lily shakes her head with a sigh. “No… I just hope I don’t regret it.”
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tags: @2dloveshp, @yearninglustfully, @made-for-oliverwood, @ilovejamespottersomuch, @hisparentsgallerryy, @itsseaberri, @corawithfanfiction, @devilslittlehelper, @jllyunn, @barnes70stark
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silcoitus · 3 days ago
Note
Hello! I think I'm doing this right but if not, I'm so sorry:
What do you think Silco would do if he found out, years later/during Act 2, that a fling he had when he was alot younger and dumber, resulted in him having a Son/Gender neutral child living in Piltover?
(how this is discovered can be completely up to you)
Would the angst of them being a Piltovian(?) citizen permanently leave their relationship undefined or would he push away his hatred of Piltover and try and meet them?
Better yet, how would Jinx react to this?
Just a bit of potential angst to spice things up I guess haha.
Thank you!
Thank you for this amazing prompt, anon! It's one of my favorite ones I've ever received! Why does writing angst soothe me? It doesn't make sense.
Summer's Ghost
Masterlist | AO3 link
Rating: Mature
Tags: Silco, original female character, original child character, angst, depression, reference to character death, character study
Word count: 2.7k
Beta reader: @juniper-sunny
Silco receives a curious letter from a Piltie boy claiming to be his son. Spurred by lingering bitterness and unresolved anger, Silco visits Topside for answers and to finally speak his mind to the woman who left him so many years ago.
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Dear Mr. Silco,
I'm not exactly sure how even to begin this letter, so I’ll start with the part that is most relevant to you:
I am your son.
I know, I didn't believe it at first either. But if you keep reading, I can tell you how that happened.
My mother was a brilliant woman, born and raised here in Piltover. She was the top of her class and an artist. My grandparents tell me that, in her university days, she had a bit of a rebellious streak. She ran away from home to live in the Undercity. Over the course of a summer there, she met a man. And fell in love.
You probably know more about how the rest of this story goes than me.
After that summer, my mom had a change of heart. She returned home with a new bundle in tow: me. And while she never told me, I assume she left the Undercity in order to raise me here.
But you probably don’t care about all that. You just want to know why I’m writing to you. 
Well, first off: I'm not asking for money. My mom (and grandparents) provided for me and I have a comfortable life here in Piltover. 
I don't want anything from you. Not really. I wrote because… well… My mother died recently. It's actually how I found out about you. My birth was a closely guarded secret and it was only when I was cleaning her stuff out after her death that I learned. She had a box of things from her time with you: a diary, some photographs, a bracelet. I thought you might want them.
I don’t know what your relationship with my mother was like or how it ended, but this seemed like something she would want me to do. If I crossed a line, I’m sorry. 
I've attached her obituary. It has her final resting place. If you want to collect the box, I've left it on her grave. If you haven’t taken it by next week, I’ll assume you want nothing to do with it. And that’s okay, too.
Sincerely,
M.
P.S I also included a photo for proof. You can hold onto it. I already made myself a copy.
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When finally Silco lifts his eyes from the letter, it's with slightly parted lips and inward curling eyebrows. Visions of memories long ago flick across his mind’s eye unbidden, released like water from a dam. 
Setting the letter down, he retrieves the other effects in the pneumatic tube. Fingers tremble as they pull out a small photograph. It's worn around the edges and the ink has faded significantly, but the image is unmistakable: it's him in his early twenties, standing next to the woman who left him.
He remembers that summer clearly, the memories vivid and the feelings so strong it could power a Hexgate. He remembers the late nights talking, the sound of her laugh, the way she was always sketching in her notebook. He remembers the first time they kissed, followed quickly by the first time they made love.
Silco’s lips press into a thin line, something bitter bubbling within him. 
He remembers his desperation when he ran through the Lanes, searching for her. He remembers how he couldn’t sleep for days, worried something had happened. That someone had taken her. Or worse. He remembers crying so hard that he could feel it in his teeth, his cheekbones feeling as if someone was pressing their thumbs to them with the aim of crushing them. He remembers drinking.
And drinking.
And drinking.
Drinking to cope.
Drinking to forget.
Drinking to wash down the bitter taste of the knowledge that he had let someone get so close to him so quickly, only for them to rip his heart out and slash it to pieces. And to add insult to injury—
My mother was a brilliant woman, born and raised here in Piltover.
He stares at that word again.
Piltover
Hand shaking violently, he picks up the pneumatic tube and hurls it across the room. It breaks on impact as it hits the office door, glass shards flying through the air.
Of course.
Who else could chew him up and spit him out? Who else but a Piltie? His home—his life—nothing more than a tourist attraction to her, a vacation away from her cushy, privileged life. 
How could he have been so blind?
How could he have been so stupid?
He can feel his heart rate rising, chest heaving as his breathing grows unsteady. Good eye fluttering closed, he puts one hand out, signaling himself to stop.
Slow down.
Breathe.
He takes one long inhale through his nose, holding it for a moment before blowing it out his mouth through pursed lips. When he opens his eyes, his jaw is set, decision made.
He snatches the letter, photo, and newspaper clipping off the desk, shoves them into his coat pocket, and walks out the door.
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As far as final resting places go, this certainly is one of the more luxurious ones. Even in death, Topsiders can’t help but preen and self-aggrandize, if not with their bodies, their tombs. Each gravestone seems to be attempting to outdo the next, growing larger and more gaudy in size as Silco walks down the rows of graves. Subconsciously, his nostrils flare and his mouth twitches into a snarl.
When he finds her name among the dead, he’s surprised to see not a tombstone but rather a park bench. Constructed out of blue pearl granite and polished to a brilliant shine, her name, date of birth, and date of death are carved into the back. The soil around the bench looks freshly turned over and the carved letters barely have any dust or dirt accumulated in them. Studying the dates, it would seem M did not lie; she had died two weeks ago. 
And there—sitting on one end of the bench, waiting for him—is the box.
His chin lifts as his mismatched eyes scan his surroundings, looking over his shoulder, his ears alert and listening for any signs of other visitors. Certain no one is nearby or within eavesdropping distance, he turns his attention back to the bench.
He could just take the box and go. There’s no need for him to linger here. But as he stands staring at her name—carved with such finality into that unmoving stone—he can’t bring himself to leave.
And yet, it’s odd, addressing a bench. On his way over, he had envisioned himself spitting on a tombstone with great satisfaction. But now, as he’s faced with something as welcoming as a bench in a beautifully maintained cemetery, he feels stuck. Any anger that had been boiling in his abdomen before has simmered down, upended by the unexpected appearance of his former lover’s grave.
Reaching into his pocket, he retrieves the photograph. After propping it up on the bench, he addresses the woman who lies six feet underground. 
“You…” He can’t even bring himself to say her name, both hands balled into fists in his coat pockets. “You’ve been here this entire time.”
Both eyes roll as he realizes the error of his statement.
“Not here, but in Piltover.” He brings one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, good eye squeezed shut. “I searched for you for weeks. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I thought someone had taken you. I thought you had—”
Died.
Well.
It’s accurate now, isn’t it?
“Typical Topsider,” he spits out, one hand gesturing as if throwing something away, like the way she had thrown him away, “You come to my home, promising a bright and brilliant future, but all you do is leave destruction in your wake.”
He steps back, pulls his head back, and spits onto the freshly dug soil.
“Disgusting,” he snarls. “And to think, I had lov—”
He pauses, unable to finish the word.
He was young. He was ignorant. That was not love he felt for her. Nor adoration. That was infatuation; merely a young man’s naive idea of what love was.
What that was—it was Not Love.
Silco pulls his fingers through his hair, collecting himself.
“Why?” His hand curls into a fist again. His tone is bitter, full of anger, growing in volume. “I don’t care why you left; I know exactly why you left.” 
As he continues to speak, his concerns about being overheard are overcome by the thundering emotions swelling inside him, churning and bubbling after years of dormancy. “You didn’t want your son to grow up to be a street urchin like his sumprat father. No… all I want to know is…”
His next words are bellowed out, the sound coming from deep within his lungs, each word punctuated with a pregnant pause, as if he means to put his entire body into every syllable.
“Why. Didn’t. You. Tell. Me?”
There’s a flurry of wings as nearby birds take flight, spooked by the sudden noise. 
Silco’s good eye flutters closed again and he takes long, deep breaths, recentering himself. His hand comes up, forefinger pressing to his sternum. There’s a desperation to his voice now, a yearning. Mourning something he didn’t even know he had until a few hours ago.
“I had a right to know.” He opens his good eye, staring at the photograph. Staring at her. “He is my son. He is my blood. How could you have kept him from me for so many years?”
He gathers himself, eyes casting to the ground. 
He had so much more he wanted to say. Years of anguish, torment. But now that he’s here, he’s forgotten them all.
He feels empty.
Finally, he slumps down on the bench, next to the box. It remains untouched beside him. He sits with his shoulders sagging forward, both elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together as his head hangs low. 
It’s quiet in the cemetery.
He turns his face toward the photograph, addressing the woman in it with a whisper of a voice. “All I wanted was for you to be okay. For you to live a good life.”  He lifts his head toward the great, open sky of the City of Progress, free from smoke and fissure gasses and ash. “And I suppose I got what I wanted.”
He hangs his head once more, speaking to the ground at his feet.
“You just did it without me.”
A stiff breeze blows through, tugging at his coat. He makes no move to bundle himself up further, letting the chill air surround him, seeping into his bones.
He sits.
And remembers.
After a few moments, he hears movement. Ears prickling and head whipping up, he spots a boy walking between some nearby tombstones. He looks to be a teenager, fifteen—maybe sixteen—years of age. The boy pauses at one of the graves, looking at it silently, his hands shoved into his pockets. After a moment, his eyes lift and meet Silco’s.
Silco meets his gaze, unblinking. The boy doesn’t seem at all fazed by Silco’s corrupted eye, giving him a small, polite nod. Silco nods in return before tearing his eyes away.
Ocean green and volcanic orange eyes pause on the small wooden box on the bench. 
Mahogany. Expertly crafted. Like the bench, it’s beautiful in its simplicity. Unbidden, Silco’s throat bobs as he reaches for the box and gingerly places it on his lap.
After taking a deep breath, he lifts the lid.
The first thing he sees is a bracelet. Black in color and made of thin strips of leather with small circular charms along the strings, it’s plain and modest. The surface of the leather looks almost brittle, worn around its edges from frequent use.
Underneath, there’s a stack of photos. Lifting them, he recognizes the first as one he had taken. The late woman stands laughing beside The Last Drop’s jukebox, Felicia grinning widely next to her. Vander can be seen in the corner, caught mid-sentence as he speaks with whom Silco can only assume is Benzo. Setting down that photo, Silco’s eyebrows lift when he sees the next one.
He doesn’t remember this photo being taken at all, which is curious given the fact he’s the one and only subject of the photo. Silco—sporting long hair tied back in a low bun—sits at the bar, pouring over his notebook. His right arm is wrapped in strips of off-white fabric and in his hand is a pencil, which hovers over the page, posed to write. 
Silco remembers this night.
It was the night Felicia told him and Vander she was pregnant with Violet. It was the night everything changed.
Funny, how the night he learns of one pregnancy happens to also be the night his lover leaves him because of hers.
He hums, continuing to study the photograph.
He had forgotten what he looked like at that age, so used to seeing his marred reflection in the mirror. So used to covering half of his face with foundation just to regain some semblance of normalcy.
Silco’s about to look through the rest of the box when he sees movement out of his periphery. Quickly, he shuts the box and looks up to see the boy from before, standing in front of him.
“Sorry,” he says, voice quiet. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“You didn’t,” Silco replies simply. His good eyebrow lifts in silent question.
“Is it okay if…” The boy gestures to the empty spot on the bench. 
Silco stands, hand offering the seat, the box neatly tucked under his arm.
“Oh, you didn’t have to leave,” the boy says, scooting over to leave some room. “I just wanted to sit for a little bit.”
Silco eyes him for a moment, then, against his better judgement, sits back down. The mahogany box feels heavy in his lap. The boy’s eyes look at it briefly before looking out into the rest of the cemetery.
The pair sit in silence, the only sound the rustle of the leaves as the wind rushes through the nearby trees. Silco’s hand covers the box, fingers idly smoothing over the carving of a rose on the lid.
He doesn’t know why he does it, compelled by a nagging curiosity, but Silco breaks the silence.
“Do you have family here?”
The boy nods. “My grandpa.”
Silco hums.
Silence falls between them again.
“Do you?” the boy asks, eyes lifting to meet Silco’s.
Silco’s lips press together, the tip of his chipped tooth catching the inside of his mouth a little.
“In a sense.”
The boy sighs. “At least it’s a pretty nice view.”
Silco follows his gaze.
“It is.”
“Well, except for that.” 
The boy points to a large tombstone made of porcelain with gold accents all along its edges. Every inch of it seems to be covered in some sort of design, painted in blue. But the patterns come across as less elegant and more like visual noise; the eye given nowhere to rest, the senses overwhelmed by all the complicated shapes and textures.
Laughing, the boy makes a retching noise. “It’s so ugly.”
Silco’s lips pull into a smirk, head tilting.
“There’s no accounting for taste.”
“Yup.”
The boy abruptly gets to his feet, seemingly satisfied. Turning to Silco, he puts his hand out in offering.
“I’m Marlow, by the way.”
“Marlow.” Silco takes his hand and shakes it. “Nice to meet you.”
The boy nods, seemingly out of words. After offering a small smile, he turns on his heel, heading for the gates.
Silco continues to sit on the bench, thumb rubbing absentmindedly on the box’s carvings. After a moment, his eyes widen and he reaches into his coat pocket for the letter, eyes darting down to the bottom.
M.
He looks up to find the boy has disappeared. He lets a short chuckle out of his nose as he shakes his head, rising to his feet.
After one final look at his ex-lover’s grave, he starts his trek back home.
He has a feeling this won’t be the last time he visits this cemetery.
And it won’t be the last he’s seen of that boy.
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