#something about him isn't quite right you just don't know what

[xavierfan]

more bre3ding/cr3amp1e p-links pls 🫣

warnings: sexual content below! p-links and sexually explicit descriptions are in this post

i genuinely don't know what to say anymore but this is sylus. on everyone's soul, THIS IS SYLUS

this one too

this too

sylus likes to fuck his seed back into you himself, he does so quite softly. it's an extremely intimate act when he does it, he's gentle and slow, and it's really not about possession to him. he just likes it— the warmth, the slickness, the sound, and the lewdness of it all.

> heavy breeding kink with no hints of possessiveness, he straight up just wants you to have his kid idfk. he would definitely say stuff like, "you're going to make a wonderful mother to our kids." / "kitten, one day you're going to get pregnant and i'm going to be so lucky." / "fuck, kitten, you want me to fuck my cum back into you, right? you want me to get you pregnant, right?"

idk why but this one gives me a caleb vibes

this one is also him

this one too

this too 😭😭😭

i keep adding caleb links im tweaking

caleb really enjoys watching his cum leak out of you. he would tease you, "pipsqueak, you're wasting it", as he just watches you squirm. to him, this is something akin to 'marking' you, walking up behind you later while out talking about, "think you're still leaky, pip."

> he's also probably got a crazy breeding kink mixed with a little —or a lot— bit of crazy obsession idfk, shit like "when your belly gets big, everyone's going to know who you belong to" / "one day i'm gonna get you pregnant" / "you'd look so good carrying my child, pips" / "if you let it all out, you'll hurt my feelings pips."

i think rafayel kind of goes feral once you let him cum in you... like he just keeps going idk

teasing him

rafayel is less breeding kink more crazy about you. loves anything to do with you, sex is not an exception, and he puts you on a pedestal a little differently to the rest of the boys. a bit like a mutt, you let him cum in you and suddenly he can't stop rutting into you, trying to chase another high.

> less breeding kink, more pathetic subby male who is so fucking excited to be fucking you. "fuck. fuck. fuck. 'm gonna cum again, please? please let me keep going?" / "princess, you feel soo good, please." / "princess, i'm sorry, let's keep going..." / "i'll be so good for you, princess, let me keep going."

sorry i know you specifically asked for breeding and i know this isn't but it still has cum ...

this is also zayne idk

zayne....

zayne rarely ever finishes inside of you, citing that it's not good for you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to. idk how to explain it, he doesn't let himself finish inside of you because he's worried he'll lose self control.

> heavily likes the idea of breeding, like it probably takes everything in his body to not ram into you as he feels his balls squeeze, probably in your ear talking about "you'd look so beautiful pregnant." / "want to start a family with you." / "one day i'm going to get you pregnant, no need to worry." / "if you keep asking me to cum in you, i just might one day..."

i think xavier would like you fucking yourself with his cum... like shoving anything that comes out back inside

this one too

anotha one

xavier just wants to watch your fingers plug your hole up to prevent any more spillage. it brings a smile to his face to see how desperate you are to keep all of his seed inside of you, it probably gets him hard all over again prompting him to say something like, "don't worry, there's more where that came from."

> no specific breeding kink per say but likes the possessive element of pregnancy like caleb, "they'll know what we get up to at night." / "maybe when you're pregnant he'll stop coming up to you" / "want everyone to know how good you make me feel every night"

notes : i couldnt find that many links 😭😭😭 i've been searching all day so i'm sorry anon... pls forgive me... i hope the little blurbs makeup for the lack of links :(

[thebiscuitlabryinth]

[prev]

Life rolls on, not quite easily but peaceful in all its hardships. As the months unfold, Healer falls into a sense of general contentedness with both Plain Yogurt and the village at large, enough to assume that this routine will continue for the foreseeable future.

It ends suddenly, in the middle of the night.

One of Healer's most inconvenient traits is his tendency to sleep rather deeply, so to be awoken in the middle of the night is already jarring enough for him. Worse than that is the thing that had woken him: an unholy, piercing screech that twists and reverbarates around the Raisin Cliffs and shudders the very earth beneath him. The villagers are clamouring outside the tent, and though he can't make out what they are saying, the sound is pitchy with panic and alarm.

Concern spikes cold in Healer's chest, and still slightly disoriented from waking up, he fumbles for his staff and immediately tries to rush outside. In his haste, he doesn't properly anchor his staff as he begins to move, tripping over his own feet and tipping forward. He doesn't even think to brace for impact before he finds a sudden hand catching his arm, startling him a little.

"Woah, woah, careful, don't crack yourself!" Plain Yogurt's voice meets him as he helps Healer right himself. Wrapped up in his alarm, he hadn't heard him moving around before. Plain Yogurt leads Healer's free hand to his upper arm and he takes the silent offer, latching onto him for support. "Here, let's go see what all the commotion is about, hm?"

Plain Yogurt sounds weirdly nonchalant about everything, but Healer just appreciates that he seems to have a level head in the midst of all this. He nods, readjusting his grip on his staff, making sure it is properly anchored this time. "Yes, quickly."

Outside, the sound is deafening, shaking the very air. It's even worse to poor Healer's ears, attuned as they are to pick up the nuances of sound. The chill of the night wind seizes their robes immediately, tugging them left and right, and Healer shivers. To his side, Plain Yogurt huffs out an incredulous laugh, almost covered by the din.

Healer turns to ask him what prompted that, but is distracted by the voices of the other villagers, still alarmed but less panicked. "No, no, that definitely wasn't there yesterday evening. We would have noticed something that big!"

"But where did it come from?"

"I don't know! I've never seen anything like that before, you know that!"

His concern only growing, Healer finally turns to Plain Yogurt, bumping shoulders to make sure he has his attention. "What are they talking about? What's there?"

"A crimson moon." Plain Yogurt says simply.

Healer pauses, shaking his head slightly as if he heard him wrong, through the slow waning of that horrible screeching. "A crimson moon? That is a rather odd occurence, isn't it?"

"Mhm. And," an audible grin slips into Plain Yogurt's voice, alongside something Healer could almost mistake as eagerness, "a castle in the sky."

"In the sky?" Healer repeats in disbelief, turning his face skyward even though that does nothing to prove this castle's existence to him. "What is it doing above our village?"

"Who knows?" Plain Yogurt sighs, with a shrug Healer feels through his hold on his arm. "It's impressive, though. A grand castle, with turrets topped with wafflecone peaks. Its shadow will swallow this tiny village whole when daylight comes."

A new sound suddenly floods the air, coming down in a wave of buzzing as a stray spark of magic energy snags on the dough of Healer's cheek. Flinching slightly, Healer frowns in confusion as shouts break out of the villagers, kicking Healer's concern back up to the surface with a healthy dose of fear.

"WHAT ARE THOSE?!"

"They- they look like, uh, robots?"

"They're heading towards the village!"

"Definitely robots, made of wafflecone too." Plain Yogurt supplements before Healer has to ask, still impressively calm, if not vaguely excited. "They're a pretty piece of tech, but I think we should probably go back inside. They look like they're gearing up for an attack."

Healer straightens up, his grip on his staff tightening as his heart lurches worriedly. "An attack? But why–"

"EVERYONE, HIDE!" Black Raisin's voice rises stubbornly over the muddled noise. "I'll try and hold them off!"

Healer trusts Black Raisin's abilities with his whole heart, but dread still pools inside him as he lets go of Plain Yogurt, turning in the direction he heard her voice. "Black Raisin, wait, let me-!"

A hand catches his arm before he can take more than a few steps as Plain Yogurt cuts in. "You heard her, my dear. Like I said, we need to hide."

Healer turns his head back towards Plain Yogurt with a stern frown. "But it's dangerous for her to go completely alone–"

Plain Yogurt's voice takes on a firmer, almost demanding edge. "She'll be fine, and if she isn't, she'll need you safe and in one piece to be able to heal her. Come on, in."

Plain Yogurt tugs on Healer's arm, but Healer hesitates, resisting against the pull for a moment. The buzz only gets louder, the wind bringing down an acrid, sweet smell as he hears the other villagers rushing around them, hurrying into the tents.

There's another, more insistent tug on his arm, and this time, Healer sighs and follows it. He understands what Plain Yogurt means, and Black Raisin would likely say the same anyway. For now, he will trust her to stay safe, at least enough for him to be able to patch her up afterwards.

So life rolls on, now far more stressful. The Wafflebots continue to attack, and they only seem to multiply as the weeks wear on. Healer is needed near constantly when they attack, and in the brief periods of respite, he is busy with making sure everyone's health is maintained under these continually deteriorating conditions.

Plain Yogurt was often by his side before, but now Healer insists he stay by him at almost all times. Black Raisin hasn't asked for his dispatch in a while, and they have both been acting civil enough in front of him, but Healer knows better. He might not see, but he can still feel the aggravated tension that builds between those two whenever they are around each other, and in a time of crisis, he doesn't want to risk anyone getting distracted.

Besides, Plain Yogurt helps Healer with the patients. He does basic first aid for the less urgent injuries as they wait for Healer to work his magic, and he helps to regulate Healer's condition too, getting him food and drink even when he doesn't want it.

Healer can hear him humming somewhere behind him now, as Healer gently feels around a patient's cracks. His fingers find the stickiness of jam, and he carefully traces the edge of the crack to judge the severity.

The patient, Choco Raisin, hisses quietly in pain, and Healer aches with sympathy. "Just a moment longer," he assures softly, "I just wanted to get a better idea of your injury."

He lays a light hand over the area, and channels his magic into the wound. It spills, warm and soothing, into Choco Raisin's dough, clearing the jam on the surface as it passes. Then, Healer weaves it tenderly through her cracks, deftly sealing them closed.

"There." He smiles, pulling away from her. "How does it feel?"

Choco Raisin takes a moment, presumably testing her body based on the sound of shifting clothes, before replying, "As good as new, like always! Thanks, Healer."

"I'm happy to help. Remember, though, take it easy for the rest of the day. Miracle healing or not, your body needs rest to recover from the stress of the injury." Healer reminds her with a hint of warning to his tone, knowing that Choco Raisin never likes sitting still for long. Sure enough, she groans an agreement, and Healer chuckles as he reaches for where he set his staff down.

His hand wraps securely around it, and a gasp escapes him as a familiarly foreign energy, cool like the feeling of early morning light, dances frantically down his arm. It curls around his heart, before settling in the dip of the hollow of his throat, all in the span of a second or less.

There is a moment of silence, and Healer realises that Plain Yogurt has stopped humming. He isn't sure when that happened.

"Are you alright, Healer?" Choco Raisin asks, concerned. "You're not hurt too, are you?"

Healer takes in a deep breath as the new energy fades into the depths of his dough, grounding himself. He can feel his staff reacting to something, pulsing as if it is trying to reach out and catch more tendrils of whatever it just found.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." Healer says, managing a little smile as he pulls himself up to his feet, using his staff as leverage. He hears Choco Raisin follow his lead. "It's been a long day. I might be more tired than I thought."

"If you say so. Take care of yourself too, okay?" Choco Raisin's voice lifts with lingering worry, and Healer, touched by the care as always, nods with a hum.

He hears Choco Raisin say goodbye to Plain Yogurt over his shoulder and leave the tent, the closing flap masking the sound of her retreating footsteps. Healer sighs, turning to face where he last heard Plain Yogurt, probably sat by one of the tent walls. "That was the last patient for now, right?"

"Looks like it." Plain Yogurt replies, curt and dismissive, sounding like he always does when he doesn't care about a conversation. "Hey, what happened just now? When you grabbed your staff?"

Abruptly, there is an unyielding urgency in his voice, contrasting sharply with his previous curtness. Healer assumes, much like Choco Raisin, it stems from concern, and decides it probably wouldn't hurt to tell his closest friend the truth.

"Ah, I'm not too sure myself." He admits lightheartedly, tapping towards Plain Yogurt's voice and settling down somewhere near him, setting his staff down over his lap. He runs his hand along its stalk gently, as if petting it. The pulsing seems to have stopped, for now. "I felt a strange foreign energy coming from my staff. It seems to be resonating with something, though I don't know what that could possibly be. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was a surprise."

"Really?" Plain Yogurt's voice lifts like a song, as if intruiged, before dipping to tease, "That must mean you're something really special, huh?"

For some reason, those words embarrass Healer a little. He laughs, shaking his head. "No, not at all. I'm sure anyone with a strong affinity for magic would be able to resonate with whatever source is catching my staff's attention."

Plain Yogurt lets out a long, drawn hum, and then there is a shuffle of sudden movement. Healer feels their knees bump together, hears the scuffle of what must be Plain Yogurt's hands landing on either side of him, narrowly missing the length of his staff.

"You know," Plain Yogurt drawls, syllables curled with a smile, "I have a feeling something big is going to happen soon. Very soon."

Much like his random strange questions, this comment seemingly comes out of nowhere. Healer smiles back, playing along. "A good something or a bad something?"

"A good something. A very, very good something." Plain Yogurt pauses, then amends cheerfully, "For us, at least."

"Well, that's a relief." Healer turns his head towards the entrance of the tent, voice growing gentle. "After the hardship of the last few weeks, the village deserves something good happening for them."

Plain Yogurt clicks his tongue, a sharpened sound. He leans closer, close enough for his breath to ghost Healer's dough. That isn't really surprising, because he has quite the habit of leaning into Healer's space like this, but the angle of it is. His breath hits Healer's neck and collar rather than his cheeks, which suggests that his head is tilted down to look at something below Healer's chin rather than his face. Healer has no idea what he could be looking at, especially since he doubts his robes are a particularly interesting sight.

"No, no, not them." Plain Yogurt corrects, and there's that strange lilting tone of his again, the one Healer has never really managed to puzzle out. "Us. Just us."

Healer hesitates, confused by the apparent weight behind this distinction. "What do you mean?"

Plain Yogurt leans back, his breath receding as he shifts slightly, their knees no longer pressed together. "I don't know." He says, his grin loud. "It's just a feeling."

Once again, Healer gets the impression that Plain Yogurt knows much more than he is letting on. He genuinely considers pressing Plain Yogurt for information this time, but ultimately decides against it. Plain Yogurt said that whatever it is would happen soon, right? Healer will find out then. Besides, he also said it was meant to be a good thing, so maybe it would be nice to have a pleasant surprise waiting for him.

That night, PureVanilla Healer Cookie dreams that he is floating in a cold embrace.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie," a voice calls to him from nowhere and everywhere, a voice so similar to his own, "Pure Vanilla Cookie!"

That isn't Healer's name, but for some reason, he feels the urge to answer anyway. "Who's there?"

"There you are!" The voice coos, rippling through the nothingness. "You've kept me waiting for far too long, you know. Are you finally ready to face the Truth?"

"What?" Healer mutters, though alongside his confusion wells a traitorous dread, as if his body understands the implication of what is being said better than his mind.

"Open your eyes," the voice coaxes, "and confront the Truth you are so determined to hide from."

Healer realises, suddenly and anxiously, that the reassuring pressure of his bandages have vanished, leaving his bare face exposed. Fear bursts painful through his body, and his hands fly up to cover his closed eyes, pressing his palms into his eyelids in a mimicry of his bandages.

"No, you must confront the Truth." The voice insists, its tone relaxed and otherworldly but no less stubborn. "Open your eyes, Pure Vanilla Cookie."

"I- I can't!" Healer argues weakly, even though that really isn't his name, burying his face into his hands in an act of unspoken defiance. Nervousness prickles along his dough, making him queasy. "I'm sorry, I don't know why but I can't. It will be too much for me."

"Just once." The voice promises softly. "Just one proper look at its whole, ugly entirety and then you will never have to look at the Truth again."

Healer is quiet for a moment. The words affect him in two contrasting ways, both a comfort and a disturbance. The press of his hands against his eyes lifts slightly, less harsh in its rejection of the outside.

"Open your eyes, Pure Vanilla Cookie." The voice repeats and this time, past his fear and dread and uncertainty, Healer feels compelled to listen.

His hands slip from his face, and he cautiously squints his eyes open.

The world is a dark blur for a moment, not any different than the back of his own eyelids, before his eyes finally focus to the best of their ability. It is enough for Healer to realise that he is floating in a black void, with deep blue eyes surrounding him on all sides. They seem to glitter and glow like stardust as they stare at him, pinning him in place like a butterfly to a board.

Healer can only stare back, transfixed, as he sinks into velvety darkness.

When Healer wakes up, it is a slow, sluggish affair. Somewhere outside, he can hear the cawing of the raisin crows announce the daybreak, and it takes him just a moment too long of being conscious to realise the feeling of a hand in his hair.

Still weighted with dregs of sleep, he appreciates the feeling of fingers threading through his hair and the scratch of something against his scalp for a minute or two, before he finally has the presence of mind to wonder who the hand belongs to.

"Plain Yogurt?" He asks with a little yawn, because that's the only logical explanation. "What are you doing?"

The hand stills and pulls away. With his newfound space, Healer pushes himself up into a sitting position, rubbing at his own face in the hopes that will wake him up faster.

"Nothing. You were just tossing and turning so I wanted to help you relax. You need all the rest you can get, since you're so busy all the time." Plain Yogurt explains easily, voice slightly hushed in the early morning. His tone becomes sweeter, softened with honey. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Somehow, it sounds like it is worded as a trick question. Healer doesn't know what the trick could possibly be though, and answers honestly, "I don't know. I don't remember dreaming of anything."

"Mm." The sound is flat, but Plain Yogurt's voice is lighthearted, close to teasing as he says, "That's okay. I'm sure you'll remember one of these days."

"What about you, then? Did you dream of anything?" Healer asks to carry on the conversation, though he reaches for his staff as he does. He needs to get up for the day; the Wafflebots attacks could happen at any moment, and there will inevitably be Cookies in need of his help.

When his fingers wrap around the stalk of his staff, there is no familiarly foreign shot of energy. For a single, bizarre moment, he thinks he almost misses it.

"Nothing much." Plain Yogurt replies languidly, his voice rising and spreading through the air as he gets to his feet. "Just a little doll in the palm of my hand."

[alienpossession]

Feeling challenged by @mindmelter and I'm currently feeling inspired, so enjoy my take on this cult classic, I try to depart from @fullfriendnerdpurse Part 4 that you can re-read here to refresh your memory

Adventure of Jim and Zim: It Runs in the Family

*ding dong*

Huh.....I'm not expecting any guest....Daddy also said nothing about a guest coming today. Who could this be?

*ding dong*

Daddy is in the shower too, uggghhh this is so annoying, isn't he supposedly serve all my biddings and do these kind of menial stuff for me? I'm literally this close to shoot! If this is a mere regular DHL package stuff, I'll be very upset

*ding dong*

"WAIT UP, I'M COMING DOWN!" I screamed as I put my underwear and shorts on while trying to climb down the stairs

Right as I opened the door, slightly exasperated from the rush and my cock still semi inside my sweatpants, the sight in front me literally take me aback. What a fine specimen this guy is. That rugged face, the hazy judgmental eyes framed by that angular jawline....and God damn that black shirt really be tight everywhere as if he purposefully selected his shirt 2 sizes smaller when in fact it's just because this fine shit really got massive shoulder, pecs and biceps! Before the drool managed to escape my lips, I sucked it back in and control my perverted thoughts

"What can I help you with?"

"Ohh, am I in the right house? I'm looking for Nicholas Stone,"

"Uhh--- ohhh--"

"Is that who I think it is?" said Daddy from the stairs with just his sweatpants as he excitedly come down the stairs

"Damn right it's me," said the imposing guest as he casually shoved me away to hug my fucking Daddy as they both immediately embraced warmly followed with laughter as if this stranger is family. As Daddy probably realized my confusion while hugging the stranger, he winked and suddenly my cock stirred awake in excitement. Is this stud going to be added to the compound too???

"So, I guess you met our neighbor's son already, he's helping around here with cleaning and all, you know how the boys are super busy with their athletic schedule, they don't have time to do chores, they're not girls after all," he said with that venomous misogynistic shit he purposefully slide there as if telling me that he knows how to act like the masculine tough alpha asshole patriarch of the Stone family to the tee

"Well, if that's what you think about women, you can do us a favor and hire hot chicks to do that instead. Are you gay or something?" the not-so-little Daddy's little brother said, I noticed the wedding ring so maybe that's why he's irked with what Daddy said

"Now you're being stupid. He's available and he's willing to help, and at least I don't have to think about fucking my own maid or something. Imagine having a girl working for us 3 dudes, either she's gonna wet herself or she would end up accuse us of assault or shit when I fired her ass. Okay, why don't you two get your bag while I prepare the guest room?"

He rolled his eyes and noticed my expression listening to Daddy's misogynistic tirade. I was in awe on how Zim or just the little fragment of Zim managed to carry such a convincing performance, but apparently Daddy's little bro assumed that I was uncomfortable.

"Sorry for my big bro, he's a nutjob sometimes. What's your name again?" He casually opened the conversation as we walked to the driveway

"J---Jim,"

"Okay Jim, nice to meet you. I'm Alex, hope my big bro doesn't rough you up for all the smallest details, he's quite the control freak, and obviously, a macho straight alpha and stuff, you must have heard his streams and podcast right?"

As I picked up the bags and let him chat with me, my mind simply wandered to the way Daddy talked me through sex and went very particular on what he wanted and how he wanted me to pleasure him.

Not to mention the countless hour Daddy put me under the desk sucking his cock while he played his game doing all those streaming. The way he talked about his workout routine or this alpha right stuff in between shooting dudes online or collecting items while making sure that his cock remain lodged deep inside my throat created this heady duality that always turned me the fuck on. He sounded and acted so straight to all his 350k followers but literally at the same time, I have his thick, veiny 8 incher monstrosity sucked clean and his cum guzzled with not a single drop to the floor.

The way he would also instruct the boys on how to ravage me in the sound-proof bedroom upstairs while he recorded his podcast with the guest down in the altered basement..... then, he joined Carter and Dean to fuck the shit out of me despite talking about the sanctity of marriage or how to be an alpha men in the 21st century for 2 hours or more just moments before, well, I guess he is indeed a control freak. But it's not like he's in control of his own body or his action, he's just a mere puppet anyway. A mere puppet that can play the role of a macho straight alpha control freak to the tee.

"Jim??? Jim??? Hey, bro, are you there?" Alex said as he offered to take his bags that I already grabbed because apparently I just lost track of time and simply stand here like a fool after only one round of picking up his bags

"Ohh....sorry. Please, let me,"

"Well, okay then, you held the last two bags anyway. Long day?"

"Uhhh yeah.....very long, so sorry, just need to zone out a bit,"

"And your shift ends at?"

Oh yeah, I'm the "next door neighbor/helper". Will Daddy convert him or something? Where the fuck I should stay to keep up with this lies? So I just come out with random number

"6, 6 PM,"

"Well, consider this as 6 PM. It's okay, I'll talk to him about it,"

"U---uhhh, no need, I can manage,"

"No, I insist. Just go back to your house, I'll help him around,"

"O--- okay. But I still have some of my stuff upstairs. I'll grab it first and then I'll go,"

Damn sir, you're way too nice I'm starting to hate you, like.....yes you wouldn't understand but I really want to see Daddy to take you over, sir. I wanna see that look of betrayal in your eyes when your own older brother turned you into a fucking mindless puppet!

As I climb the stairs, Alex is speaking in the kitchen to Daddy about how I need to be "relieved of my duty for the day". The rest of the conversation turned into fading sounds so I pick nothing up as I also need to think. Should I ask Rick to pick me up? I haven't checked up on him for a while anyway, so that sounds like a plan. As I opened the door to my bedroom, the sight of a scattered gym bag surprised me beyond belief. Isn't this one of Alex's??? Right when I turned around, Alex already grinned at me as he somehow already stand behind my back

"Well well well, aren't you an interesting gay boy," that eyes.....OMG, he's taken over!

Like a click in my brain, I started to really embrace the fear of getting caught. I know where this is heading, and I love the prospect of it

"I--I can explain,"

"Oh, the state of your room is enough of an explanation. I've been searching for this one bag because I wanna hit the gym with my bro, but somehow it's not in my room. Turns out, as expected, you picked this bag up so your horny faggot perversion can be fulfilled by sniffing through my entire gym bag? And you think I will not notice that it's gone???"

He pushed me inside the room and that caused me to trip over his shoes and clothes as I fall to the floor, my gaze lingers on his massive, towering hairy form with my mouth intentionally opened a bit as I wanted to look as awestruck as possible

"Well, big bro is doing some stuff downstairs, so until he's done, maybe I can put that gaping mouth of yours to good use,"

He lowered himself as his arms seemingly tried to entrap me as I can't tell whether he wanted to reach something behind me or pinned me down to the floor. Turns out, he grabbed one of his sneakers on the floor and shoved it to my face. I huff it with delight as I can finally get the sense and put an exact smell on Alex. Fuck this is an insanely reeked foot prison....did he just use this today?

"Smells nice for your perverted homo mind, huh? Ran 10k in it this morning before I drove all the way here. Probably the previous night 3 hours gym sesh also amplified its nastiness, but I know your kind loves it,"

If that's a real human speaking, I'll take offense with that degrading "your kind" commentary, but I know it means no harm when it comes from the mouth of a brain-dead puppet with no free will. He slapped the sneakers away as I tried to grab it and fully explore it on my own, his face a bit red but there's no mistaking that predatory gleam that plastered his face. He grabbed my head and instantly shoved it right to his armpit, giving me access to the already exposed hairy pit I've been focusing on the past few minutes

"Yeah Jimmy, good boy, I know you'll lap this shit up,"

And well I am indeed lapping his pits like there's no tomorrow. The way the pits hair are wet and slightly curled up, the sheen of sweat that stained it because he just lifted like 10 bags of his, the pungent, heady aroma his body created, I think I'm in the 7th heaven of pit mania or something. I cannot tell how he looked at me but I bet he's pleased with the service provided as I can hear his subtle oohs and aahhs as I traced his veiny, hairy arm, peck his neck and strong, defined shoulder and even grazed my tongue all over his exposed pecs. He grabbed me by my hair once more and stared at me deeply with his hazel eyes, and then he spits on my face and let out a chuckle

"Get naked and get yourself loose. It's time,"

I of course quickly undressed myself and hop on the bed for the fucking of a lifetime. But imagine my surprise when Daddy walks in on us with a horrified expression. But what comes out next from his mouth surprised even me

"Starting this all without me? Fucking my own cunt under my own room without asking for my excuse? Well lil bro, gym sesh cancelled, I'll teach you manners and respect to the patriarch of the house instead for today,"

Pete grabbed the already naked Alex like he weighed nothing and toss him to the bed, right next to me.

The springs groan from the massive thud but that's nothing compared to the sound it makes when Daddy Pete shredded his clothes apart. Sensing imminent violence, I quickly get out from Daddy's way and sit on the chair right next to the table in the other side of the room. As expected, yet still managed to make me hard as a rock, Daddy started pounding his own lil bro in a midst of fury

"Fucking....disrespectful.....ugghhh...brat!" said Daddy Pete as he grunted and groaned with slight pauses every time more of his inches swallowed by Alex's hole

Alex screamed like crazy as his hole never been spread beforehand as he's straight through and through, and it doesn't help his case that his first dick is his own older bro girthy monster. Being too loud, Daddy fished out the socks he could pick and stuff Alex's mouth to keep it shut

"Fucking my own....cunt....gghhhhhrRRAHHh.....without asking.....aaaUUGHHHh FFUUUCCK.....my permission? Did your stupid.....wiffeHMMMM.....taught you to....fucking disrespect your elder?"

As Alex started to cry from the pain as his back arched and his hole stuffed, my hand is calmly operates on autopilot as without a thought, I just simply fap to the beautiful sight in front of me. In the middle of the perfect fucking motion, Pete released Alex's mouth from the cotton plug of the now-soiled socks and that's when Zim appeared from Alex's ear

"From scale 1 to 10, how do you like this arrangement?" asked both of them in unison while staring at me despite continuing the whole fucking

"10 out of 10. You are insane for this," I said with a grin

"Well, come beneath us. You will love what comes next,"

"Beneath you two?"

"Yeah, don't say that you're afraid of getting crushed or something," said Zim as he reached Pete's shoulder and prepared to settle inside the massive older brother body

Tempted, I make my move as they stopped their fucking for a few seconds to let me slide to the bed and watched them as if I'm a porn movie cameraman shooting from below my subjects. As I get myself in place, like a game, the fucking restarted once more

"UNGHH FUCK FUCK YOU, GRRR DON'T YOU DDDDAAAARREE TO NOT MOAN YOU WHORE AAHHHH" Pete said as his plowing get intense in an instance and I can see Alex's face turned from agony to pleasure to agony again in such quick motion

"UNGGHH UNGGGHHHHAAHH I'M YOUR LITTLE CUUNNNNTTT BROOOO. Fuck this straight ass and turn me gay with your load daddy!" He said excitedly while winking at me

Pete grabs Alex chest and twist his nipple. He yelps like a bitch in heat by that sudden twitch and then the older one slam his dick so deep, I'm pretty sure something or some bones might have been broken. The slamming caused me to be pressed deep to the bed as I can hear the springs groan loudly like a backsound to the most brutal fucking I ever witnessed. As the pressure keep increasing, Alex started to crash under the pressure and fully pinned me to the bed as his hands that once hold him steady from all the onslaught started to falter. Squeezed as the bottom patty in this sexual encounter, my face now is right on the Alex's hairy pecs while his gorgeous mushroom top placed just right above my belly button. His whole body odour filled my nose while his sweat literally slicked not only his body, but mine too. Gobs of drool came out from his mouth and trickled down to his chin and then beard before landing on top of my hair while his eyes turned white from all the pleasure

"MFF....MFFM.....BRROOOO.....PPPppllleaaseee......fffuuucckkk....I'm....I'm so cLOSEEEAHHH,"

"YEAH??? ME TOO BRO! KEEP SQUEEZZING YOUR HOLE, CUNT, I'M SO FUCKING....NGGHHH....CLOOOSEE......FHHFHFHHHHHHHFFFUUUUCCKK,"

Moments later, not only sweat and drool, my body is flooded with the incredible amount of cum released from Alex's body while additional cum from Pete flows from Alex's stuffed hole and I can feel it starts to blend down there too. Mine? Well, it already spurted mere seconds I laid myself down here so this is already an incredible mess in the highest proportion

As both men then retreated from the bed and just stand right in front of the window, I'm literally basking in the afterglow as Zim already jumped off Pete and started eating the feast he managed to spurt out from the brothers.

"Hmmmm.....despite looking similar, I can easily tell the difference," Zim said through both men as if they are his human microphone

"Alex has the best diet. It tasted almost sweet, with better texture too. He will be a great addition," said only Alex as if he seemingly pride himself with the quality of his cum while his hand grabbed his ballsack and subsequently the floppy 6.5 incher cock

"Well, I want more," continued the hairy stud as he suddenly let out yet another moan. The most incredible thing happened in front of my eyes as his ballsack that already squeezed dry suddenly gets filled once more while his floppy cock hardened right in front of my eyes. In an instance, the cock leaks this huge amount of cum like a faucet, creating this pool of cum on the bedroom floor. Zim, like an experienced diver, goes head first to the cum pool his latest vessel just created

"We will clean the leftovers on you, I'll swim in Alex's sweet manna while waiting for you to clean up," both men said monotonically as they leaned over to start licking me clean

What a crazy afternoon this has been......

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

PLEASE MAKE THE JAMES KIDS Y/N's OF

A/n: I've had this idea for so long NO ONE RUIN IT

Warnings: Smut, fingering (f receiving), praise kink, age gap, daddy kink, James is reader's stepdad (reader is of age and did not grow up with James as a father figure, he's just some guy), forbidden love?, angst, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

He looks so soft and squishy but also like he could crush me

I would thank him and apologize for being crushable

James had started seeing a woman around his age, things were going great and they were planning on moving in together, but things were a little more complicated than that.

She had a kid when she was young, you, obviously. You were an adult but you still lived with her because you can and housing is expensive.

James didn't have an issue with it, he'd met you a few times and you were quite quiet, young and you didn't really have much to talk about with him, but you were always nice. He did want a relationship with you.

He didn't expect you to call him dad or even see him as a father figure, but he wanted something.

After getting you and your mom moved in he tried to figure out your schedule. He knew you had some kind of job but he didn't know what it was exactly and he didn't ask much, he figured if you wanted to talk about it you would.

After a couple weeks of not seeing you not leaving your room that much, never once catching you outside the house, he decided to take you out with him. Just to band practice, nothing big but it was something.

Until you sat on the floor in the corner with your headphones on reading. James was hoping you'd be interested in the band, you weren't disrespectful and greeted them all, but you just sat there. Because you weren't actively being rude James felt bad for being frustrated with you, but he couldn't help it, he was doing everything he could and you just weren't even trying.

He knew you didn't owe him anything and that if you didn't want the relationship he did he couldn't force it from you, but it hurt. You were living in his home, you were an adult but he was trying to be your dad, at least be someone who you could trust.

James went over to you and pulled your headphones off. You looked up at him and held your page with your thumb, quickly pausing your music for a second. "You don't wanna listen to us?" James asked, a forced smile on his face as he tried to come off as cheery, not as annoyed as he was.

You looked to the band and shrugged. "I'm fine right here." You said, pulling your headphones back on. James stared down at you, arms crossed over his chest.

"She's fine, isn't she?" Kirk spoke, wanting to keep the peace, and Lars was getting antsy.

"Yeah, she is, but..." James grumbled, looking back at you. He huffed and took your headphones, not giving you a chance to argue before he was pulling you out of the room and down the hall to find an empty spot.

"What the hell?!" You asked when he finally stopped and let go of you.

James stared at you a moment before he let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, are you hurt?" He asked, looking over your arm a moment before you shook your head in response. "I didn't mean to get mad, I'm just- I'm trying, I'm really, really trying here, and I know you don't owe me anything, but I'm just asking to give me a chance." He explained, giving you pleading eyes.

You stared right back at him, thinking over what he was saying. "I wasn't trying to be mean." You said. "I just didn't want to leave the house... you keep trying to spend time with me but you don't do things I like."

James took in your words, understanding what you were talking about. He did do that, he always got you going to band practice and hikes, when you seemed happier staying in the car. "Alright... what do you want to do right now?" He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

You thought for a moment before holding your hand out, expecting money. "There's a DQ across the street." He let out a small laugh at that and pulled his wallet out, only giving you about fifty bucks which was still way more than you needed for DQ.

"And you're gonna stay there until I come get you?" He asked, watching for your nod before handing you the cash. You walked back with him to the studio, getting your headphones and book before heading to the restaurant.

James still thought of you, he was still sad you didn't want to do the things he wanted to do but he knew you were happy now.

When practice came to its end and Lars cheered, James went across the street and found you with your face in your book, dunking fries into a shake and popping it into your mouth. "What is wrong with you?" James teased when you took your headphones off, he hadn't wanted to rip them off this time so he sat in front of you and waited for you to notice him.

"Try it." You offered, pushing the fries towards him. He gave you a skeptical look but took a fry nonetheless.

He chewed it after dipping it, expression morphing from disgust to pleasantly surprised. "It just tastes like a cold fry." He said before taking another. You swatted at his hand and he dropped it. "Hey, I paid for them."

"And you could pay for more, my fries." You stated, pulling them back out of is reach. James rolled his eyes at you and went to get his own food, he hadn't eaten in a while and needed something. Once he got his food you were gone to his truck and back home.

It was already late, around five, and it was a long ride home because James lived rather far on the country side. You took your headphones off, listening to whatever he had on the radio -Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, seventies bands- while you read. Occasionally James would give you a nudge and you'd give him a fry from his basket, maybe a chicken strip.

"You don't do much, do you?" James asked, stealing a glance at you.

You raised a brow at him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Just, like, anytime I see you in your room you're on your phone or laptop... you don't really leave the house."

You look at him as he spoke and turned your head away afterwards, returning his shrug. "I do stuff... I read a lot."

"How do you even afford books? I don't give you money for them, I know your mom doesn't give you money for them." He said, trying to figure it out in his head. "You stealing?" He asked, giving you a stern look as he pulled into the driveway. "If you're stealing I'll have to spank you." He said it jokingly but it didn't stop your thighs from pressing together, or around the food between them.

"I have a job, I'm not stealing." You said before getting your things together and getting out of his truck, hurriedly making your way inside the house.

James laughed to himself as you ran and started getting out of the truck himself before he stopped himself. Your book was sitting in the door still.

He grabbed it and went around the truck to get his things before making his way inside. He dropped his things off and looked at your book, looking it over and reading what it was about. Some kind of smut, it didn't say anything but it was evident and it gave him a giggle.

James knocked on your door and leaned closer to it. "Hey, you left your book." He said, waiting a moment before calling out again. He did it a third time before trying the door and finding it unlocked.

He pushed the door open, the first thing that caught his eye was the camera sitting on the ground. Why you never brought it with you on hikes he didn't understand, it was good quality and could take some beautiful pictures. Then he followed where the camera was pointed.

You were frozen on the ground, staring up at him with wide eyes like a deer caught in headlights. You wore pretty lingerie but that didn't distract him from the purple, tentacle like dildo suctioned to the ground and halfway inside you.

James stared right back at you with the same stunned expression. Slowly, he set the book down on your shelf and left, leaving you alone for all of about five seconds before he swung the door open again. "What the hell are you doing?!" He yelled, making you flinch. "Is this your work?" He asked, gesturing over your body.

You bit your lip, awkwardly covering yourself. "Y-yes..?" You said after a moment. "I-I like what I do." James scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You like what you do, selling yourself to creepy old men?" He asked, looking back at you. He glanced at your bookshelf. "You read smut, get horny, and then do this?" He glared bullets through you for a moment, going over everything that happened that day.

"I don't read smut." You said. "I read romance, some of them have smut but I don't read for it, I just like romance." You explained, wanting to get off the dildo but not knowing how to do it discreetly or... it was just weird no matter how you think of it, really.

James took in your words, still staring at you. His brows raised as he came to a realization. "You were getting off to me?" He asked hesitantly. Your face lighting up was all the information he needed.

The two of you stayed staring at each other for a long time before a grin spread over his face. "Poor girl, just needed daddy's cock, huh?" He asked, moving closer to you and kneeling in front of you, his cock twitching in his jeans. He cupped your face in his hand, running his thumb over your cheek. "Why don't you show me how bad you want it, huh?" He asked, leaning down and kissing your forehead.

You couldn't say how many times you'd gotten off to him, how you pictured his cock instead of those fucking silicone things, how you heard his voice in your mind, cried out for him. You needed him so fucking bad, but he went for your mom instead.

You started bouncing on the purple tentacle, it was only about five inches. You were still relatively new to this field and didn't have many toys, the ones you had were smaller. The bigger ones scared you but always tempted you, you wondered how big James was and got ones around what you thought.

James started palming himself through his jeans, tattooing his zipper into his cock as he watched you, watched your brows furrow and lips part in soft moans. "C'mon, sweetheart, don't be scared, it's just us here, you can be as loud as you want." He assured, tilting your head up for him.

You lifted yourself up and dropped your weight on the dildo, a high moan ripping from you as it bumped your gummy walls. A low groan left James as well, his gaze now on your pussy, watching it suck in the toy, your puffy little clit poking out all needy and neglected.

"C'mere, sweetheart, let daddy show you what to do." He said, hands going to your shoulders and guiding you off the toy. He turned you around and pulled you into his lap, back flush against his chest while his thick arms wrapped around you.

One hand went to your chest, needing your tits, the other went to your glistening cunt, thick fingers easily sliding through your folds. "You know how to touch yourself?" He asked, chin resting on your shoulder.

"I-I do." You said, breathlessly, reaching a hand down.

James caught your wrist and pulled it behind your back. "I don't want you to do it, just wanted to know what you knew." He explained, hand finding your clit and starting to rub it in slow circles. "Feels good, right?" You gave a small nod, soft moans starting to leave you. "That's good, daddy's gotta make sure you're enjoying this, doesn't he?" Again you nodded.

He kissed along your neck and shoulders, not stopping his little ministrations as he continued to ask you questions. "Do you make good money?" "Do you ever get any threats? Bad fans?" He asked you questions about how it worked, what you posted and how much money you made for what kind of content.

You were so close to cumming and he wasn't stopping, but he kept telling you to wait. "Just one more question, last one, I promise." He'd said about five times, you were getting really close to disobeying and taking whatever punishment he gave you, and boy did you expect a good punishment. "How'd you get into it?" He asked. "You said you liked it."

You swallowed thickly, mind a muddled mess as you did your best to hold back on your high. Your mom would be coming home soon and she couldn't find James in here with you doing this. "Just-just got into it, I-I posted pictures online and-and people really liked 'em." You managed to babble out through moans and heavy breaths.

"That's it?" He asked. "No one made you? There was no necessity for it?" While it seemed insignificant he needed to know you were actually ok and enjoying it. He finally seemed satisfied when you nodded this time and kissed your cheek. Just an inch over and he'd get your lips where he'd been avoiding. "Go on and cum for me, would you?" He said.

You didn't wait another second, finally getting to let go. Your eyes rolled back and you slid slightly on the hardwood floors before he caught you and held you tighter, praising you through your high. "What a good girl, such a good listener, waited for daddy to give you permission." He cooed.

He gave you a minute to stop twitching before he lifted you up and carried you to your bed. There were wetwipes on your nightstand and he used those to wipe you down. He felt bad as he did it, did you always use those? Never had anyone to hold you after? No one to tell you how good you did, tell you they loved you? Nothing?

He sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight as he looked over your nearly asleep form. He let out a heavy sigh and leaned down, brushing your hair out of your face to kiss your forehead. He was just about to give in and lay with you but then he heard the door open and his girlfriend called for him.

He looked back to you, your fluttering eyes and heaving chest, barely awake, and he just left you. Alone in bed, all over again. Naked. Without him.

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Ring ring, dear. Hello? Kind Words.

So...! Kestrel and I had our talk. It was not a very long talk, but that hardly mattered to me - I was just so happy to hear his voice again. I couldn't stay upset with him, no matter how hard I tried to be. He sounded so troubled... he told me how guilty he felt that he had been ignoring me, and truly hadn't meant to let it go on for so long. I do believe him; he has always had an irksome habit of putting things off until they can no longer be ignored. I suppose this was no exception, either. He did apologize, though he still seemed a bit... hrmm. Hesitant?

But he did say that once spring break came around, he would fly back home to visit again! I am so excited to see him! I'm going to squeeze him until he pops, too. There was something else he said, too, but, oh, I must have missed it; to be quite honest, it was a bit difficult to focus on the conversation at that point. My mind was just buzzing with thoughts of how I am going to tell him all about you! I would have then, but I feel it would be best to do it in person, yes? Perhaps by then we can figure out a way for him to hear you in his head, too! Ahaha!

Oh, it's so funny... when Kestrel was young, he was always jealous of his friends whom had siblings. I remember the few birthdays where he would beg me for nothing else but a little brother or sister, and I always dreaded having to disappoint him so! But it was not like I could manifest another baby out of the air myself, hahaha! Of course, he eventually figured that out...

Silly... I do still think of Sebastian on occasion - Kestrel's father. But I think I just miss his handsome face more than anything else. I was nineteen, still doing ballet when we met, though I was far from the best in my class. Still, he was quite drawn to my dancing... unfortunately, I had to quit once I found out I was pregnant. And then he wanted me to move to Europe with him - Europe! It was an utterly terrifying thought, uprooting myself like that. I couldn't bear to just leave everything behind, especially my mom... but I suppose he must have felt the same way, and left me instead. At least I had Mom, and Rebh, then... I got over him eventually. And he did give me Kestrel in the end, so I could not stay upset with him forever. I do wonder if he still thinks of us sometimes, too.

Oh, listen to me getting sentimental again... Did you ever think about having a family of your own at any point? (Besides the Curlings, haha!) I will admit, I do hope Kestrel has his own fledglings one day - when he is ready, of course. I would never want to push on him what happened with Sebastian and I. He is still in school, after all! Did I ever tell you he is majoring in environmental studies? I believe his girlfriend is in a similar field, as well! I am very proud of the both of them. And you too, of course. That has never changed.

...

I... do hope all of my excited blithering to you has assuaged some of your fears, dear. I did hear that, you know? It... broke my heart. I would never dream of doing such a thing to you. (And if I did, it would be yet another nightmare for me.) But that is like saying a mother can only ever love one child... it is like what Rebh said about me all over again, all those years ago... but that is simply not true. (R-right? It isn't true. I know how to love someone. I do...) I would not be here now if I did not intend to be here forever. Or, at the very least, as long as you want me to be here...

And I want to talk to you, sweet pea. I want to share my stories with you. I want you to share parts of your life, too. I want to meet you when you are safe and sound, and I want you to meet Kestrel too, and I wish so badly that you could have met my mom. I want to make you peanut butter sandwiches and watch The Wizard of Oz together. I want to keep telling you about the birds. All of them. The hawks and the pigeons and the owls and the scissor-tailed flycatchers.

And I don't want you to ever stop calling me Mum. It is everything to me. Please?

Oh thank God

Hello!!

Ah, yeah, makes sense. The longer you wait, the harder it is to start! Glad it more or less worked out between you two.

Oh, good, good. Yeah no, probably better in person. Hopefully easier to convince him you've not gone bonkers that way, yeah? Hah. In his head? Wouldn't want to impose or anything.

Pfft. I don't think I could be much of a little sibling, even with my somewhat lacking height at the moment.

You did ballet? From what I've heard, that's not easy. Even if you say you weren't the best, I'll bet you were pretty good! Sorry to hear you had to quit. Still, I know all about uprooting yourself between Europe and North America. Mine just... happened to be in the other direction. It's tough. Don't blame you for not wanting to. If I'm being real, he sounds like an asshole.

Eh... s'complicated. I've got a big family what with my parents, sister, niece and nephew, aunts and uncles, cousins... We Curlys are pretty widespread. As for starting one of my own, uh. Marriage never really happened. I doubt it was ever on the table to begin with, though I didn't realize it back then. Kids, maybe. Don't think I'd be the best at it though, whatever else my horde of unofficial children may claim. Mm, yeah... Environmental studies is fun! Lots of good things to learn there. He's focusing on Earth environment, I'm assuming? Hope that turns out well for Kestrel and his girlfriend. ...Thank you.

...

Huh? Fears? ...Oh. I didn't think you could— Sorry. I didn't think— someone else, uh, said that. Earlier that day. It isn't true what Rebh said, I know that. It wasn't you, it was me getting paranoid. Promise. I want you here, I do.

...I'm glad. I like hearing your stories. I want— I want to meet you and Kestrel too. I want to do all that.

Hah. Okay. I will, Mum.

...

Are you fucking serious right now?

Oh, come on. You're not real. You're not even one of them, are you? You're my own thoughts. Fuck off.

I'm trying to help you out here.

Yeah? How's that, fake Jimmy I made up just now?

Are you trying to play house or something? You need to get over yourself, Curls. You're a grown fucking man.

La la la. Not listening.

God, you're so— My parents were pieces of shit. But you? You had everything you wanted. You had real parents who loved you before you fucked off to space. And here you are. Trying to take a third from someone else.

Leave me alone, Imaginary Jim.

I'm imaginary because I'm you, idiot. These are your thoughts that you can't frame to yourself in a way that lets you keep living this fantasy. The truth is, Curly, she said it was a brief conversation for a reason. There's still friction there. You can feel it, right?

...Right. None of my business though. They'll work it out.

Yeah. They'll work it out. What do you think is going to happen when they do?

She said—

She said what? She'd never leave you? Like we said to each other? ...Lighten up. I'm not really him. We both know that. But Curly. Get real, yeah? "You see, son, I'm hearing a voice from a dying man lightyears away." The kid is never going to believe her. He'll think she's fucking insane. She'll have to choose between him and you. Some whiny bastard giving her nightmares or, you know, her real son.

...stop.

Won't bother telling you who she'll choose. You already know.

You're not even real oh my God leave me alone.

...Hey, Curly?

...Yeah?

Can the voices hear this?

Oh, fuck me...

Next time you're going to process your intrusive thoughts through me you should do it quieter. Just saying.

Yep.

[leviackermanstoes]

Hii! How are you? I hope you’re doing great how about a cure little scenario of alucard x female reader where alucard is developing feelings for readers but him being a dhampir is making him have doubts about her returning his feelings since she’s a vampire hunter (they get along with a eachother tho since they fight the same enemies) just a cute little hurt comfort one shot if you don’t mind my request also don’t forget to take care of yourself! Have a great day🤍

OOOOOOH I LOVE THIS IDEA!! Our boy just needs a break for real😭

Uhh, tw for slight darker themes? Im not sure. Mostly just hurt and angsty, though! We love pining and desperate alucard <3

--- this is sorta crap---

Alucard stood against the railing of his castle, waiting for you to return. He knows you're probably out there fighting some creature with trevor and sypha and he's not quite sure why he didn't go with you.

The moon is very much high and sparkling when you return, smelling of metal and blood. All you see when you come into Alucard's room is him on his balcony, and you know he's deep in thought by the way his fingers fiddle at his sides.

"Adriān?" You say softly.

You don't seem to break him out of his trance, but he's noticed you enough to turn his head a little to the side as he waits for you to come up beside him.

Alucard doesn't say anything, but his eyes tell you everything you need to know. He's been here waiting for you to come back.

"How long have you been up here?"

Alucard sighs. "Long enough, I smelt the blood on you before you even left to come back here"

"Adriān, we've talked about this, you don't have to wait up for me, you know that"

But he wants to. More than anything in this world that bothers alucard, the thing that bothers him the most is not knowing whether you'll live or die. Alucard fears his own mind before anything else, letting the worst thoughts get into his head and only seeing you would bring them away. And he hates it. He feels as though if you knew that he almost suffocates without you here, you would think he was pathetic and cowardly.

"It's not like i sleep anyways," he chuckled.

"Fine you win this time"

The questions lingers around on your tongue as it pops into your head. You don't want to ask it but seeing Alucard's bright and pearly face smiling down at the moon lit forest, somehow you feel this is the right time to ask him.

"Did you do this with other people you cared about too?"

Alucard's eyes flicker with something immeasurably unsure. He doesn't know what to say to that. Obviously, he has cared about people before, and he's always worrying about trevor and sypha and what their doing. But he can't say he's stood up like this for any past lovers and he isn't going to say that because he knows your not a lover.

Friend, co hunter, everything but a lover.

"Yes, I have. I suppose nothing to this extent as quite, but i have had people to worry about" alucards voice is tense but soft in the way he says it.

"And what about your past lovers?" You asked him.

"My past lovers...well... most of them were just regular people. And I did love them, though too long, and most of them died before I had a chance to marry them"

You regret asking him. You can see how much your question has affected him by how tense his voice is and the tightness in his muscles. How his voice doesn't sound like a whisper anymore but more of a poet reading to his own piece of paper.

"Im sorry, alucard, i didn't mean to -"

"Stop" he holds up a sharp nail. "It's alright. No apology needed darling",

"Could you ever fall in love with me the way you did with them?"

You don't know what came over you to ask him that, maybe it was the nonsense spilling into your brain about 'ask him now before it's too late' maybe you just were too impatient to wait and see if the man you'd had fallen for over a decade has gained any sense of love for you.

"Of course. Gods above i-"

Alucard stopped himself. Like he had been forcibly silenced by an unknown force. Or maybe the thought of what happened to his mother could happen to her too. And alucard would end up just like his father, but instead of burning the village, he would burn the world.

"Adriān please just tell me" you spoke softly as you put your hand on his cheek.

Cold to the touch but barely tinged pink. Alucard's cool golden eyes met yours as he shifted his position so he was standing infront of you.

"Yes, yes of course I could love you...i-...I do. I do love you. Like nothing else has ever loved before, I am utterly and completely fallen for you"

Alucard dropped to his knees before you. You were shook at what you were seeing. Before you could do anything else, the sound of his cries softly tuned out the gentle rain coming down. You knelt before him.

"Adriān...why do you cry?"

"I am a monster, and I have fallen for you" he says through shaking breaths.

"You are not a monster, Adriān tepes" you tell him. "You are capable of love just as I am"

Alucard looks at you through long eyelashes and glossy gold eyes. It's almost like he's begging for you to say it. Just once. If only for a minute. He would slice his own throat out if that's what it took to hear you say it.

That you love him too.

"You know i love you too, right? More than anything on this earth" you smiled at him.

"Why?" Is all he can say.

"Because your you...you are my adriān. My alucard. You have faught gracefully and powerfully beside me no matter what the cost, I would be stupid to not love you"

Alucard didn't know what to do, as you helped him up and wiped his tears away there was only one thing he felt like saying.

"Please...don't call me alucard again. Adriān sounds better from you"

It made you chuckle that even in the emotional and heartfelt moment you two were having, he still managed to find the humor in it somewhere. And that's what you loved about him.

"Promise I'll never do it again" you laughed. "Oh adriān tepes you fool"

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

CW for abuse

I have a friend who, about 8 months ago, began talking long-distance to this guy when they were going through a really rough time in their life, and this relationship is straight up killing them.

It has been nothing but drama and disaster the entire time (my friend has a bit of a savior complex, so they are susceptible to trying to "rescue" people) to the point he's recently had a brief stint in prison for violating a restraining order against his previous partner.

Their physical and mental health issues are worsening from the stress (already been in the ER once), they're not getting any sleep because he calls at all hours, they are 👌this close to getting fired from their job because of that, and yet they're still hanging onto him.

He lies to them, he is emotionally manipulative (got mad they spent a week with me and retaliated by destroying something my friend had made for him purely to get their attention and hurt them), lashes out when he's angry or upset, calling them names, does not respect boundaries (if they tell him they'll be busy for the next few hours so he shouldnt call, he will try to call, on average, every 4 minutes), but he's unfortunately incredibly good at apologizing, even if he doesn't actually change his behaviour.

I was so close to convincing my friend they quite frankly deserve better, because they finally seemed like they'd gotten tired of his bullshit once he landed in prison, but now he's managed to secure parole and will be out soon.

So they're right back to fawning over him.

I am so tired...I don't want to give up on my friend but I'm getting to a point where I'll have to tell them the fact he keeps blowing up their phone any time we're together is making me not want to spend time with them anymore. It's disrespectful of them, and it's disrespectful of me. Everything becomes about him and whatever the latest (self inflicted) calamity he needs to be saved from is, and I didn't sign up for that.

I have never seen my friend less than these past 8 months because he monopolizes their time utterly and completely.

I'll go far to support someone I care about, and as a fellow survivor of IPV I know a support network is part of how you get out, but I also know that you're unlikely to take the steps to actually do that until you hit rock bottom.

So I don't know what to do from here.

I totally get why you feel at a loss for what to do, because obviously you care about your friend and want to help them escape their abusive relationship, but that doesn't mean you can or should prioritize their need for support above your own mental health.

Generally, if possible, supporting a friend in an abusive situation will also sometimes include "letting them" make the wrong decisions. What is important to showcase to a survivor of abuse is among other things that you see their value and care to be in their life, but also that you respect their right to make their own decisions, even when you disagree with them.

This is because trying to force and pressure them to make the decision you think is the right choice in some ways just makes you a mirror of the disregard of their autonomy that they're facing in relation to their abuser, even if you are obviously right that the abuse is wrong and unacceptable and that they should leave.

So when possible, simply providing a space where the abuse survivor is valued and respected, even as they aren't ready to leave their abuser, can be quite valuable. Even if for a while all you can do is tell them that they deserve better and that you would support them in leaving.

That being said, it sounds like this is what you've been trying to do for quite a while, and, understandably enough, there can come a point where watching from the sidelines starts impacting your own mental health in an insustainable way. So I do think it's valid to step away at a point where the abuse isn't just affecting your friend.

I would probably tell them that while I respect their right to make their own decisions, I have to take care of my own mental health too, and that means I'll have to step away for a while - while also stressing that if they become ready to leave the abusive relationship, I will be there to support them through it.

[flyinguraniumrod]

Oh I will yap about him. I will. I think about him (and Astrotrain, and kinda Octane too) a lot every single day 😭 Honestly, one of the videos which made me really get into transformers was one where they put TFA Blitzwing's voice over clip of the bumblebee movie one. So, Bumper Robinson's voice alone led me to watching Transformers Animated and oh I am so obsessed- LOL. This show is too good, I just can't like TFP more than it. Also, I just can't not like movie version of Blitzwing, even though he isn't a triple-changer- I like probably almost all versions of him anyvayz

Yeesss, nevertheless, he didn't do little during those stellae cycles.

Lol I think it needs to be mentioned that Screamer could be a lil crazy too?

I don't think Blitzwing would be so loyal-in-a-genuine-way to Megatron [as it was already mentioned... he is scared of him, maybe Megs did something (edit: wanted to add smth here but nvm) and he kinda wants to get away, cares about the cause itself more], however, he still did a lot regarding him. Hol' up... how many 'cons even reacted, for instance - but maybe less, like Lugnut to Meg's death? I don't recall 'cons individual reactions appearing in the comics...

(I miss you readallcomics 😭... readcomiconline is so stupidly braindead with those pop-up ads I ain't gonna search rn- brah, the former literally had zero ads...)

Continuing- Ya, decepticons couldn't be held together in a decent way without Megs, but BW made the situation quite not bad.

I am not sure what else to say/add here rn since my brain is like this rn:

I have seen some people mention this, even write fanfics, however, what was with Shockwave during Megatron's absence? Was he supposed to report from time to time during his entire mission and did he continue doing that during those decacycles? Were those Megs-exclusive calls? Or could anyone in the high-command be the one who takes the reports? (Ngl, Shock and Megs having chill-talk calls is a truly splendid headcanon btw)

☕☕☕ am so all ears rn-

I absolutely love the worldbuilding in TFA so much, the Autobot-Cybertronian population having a phobia of organics, the stuff about functionalist society, propaganda, ejrjfkrjebehfkgkkt I love reading what people have to say about such elements of this universe- (and not going to forget the 'cons lore! since this is also the cartoon which made me prefer them to the autobots in the franchise)

Btwww, have you seen the comic @/mfdragon has posted about BW and Sumdac very recently? I ssoo see these two as having quite positive relations. I wonder where I've seen the post that was basically talking about ,,how did Sumdac get food while in Meg's base" lol cuz BW was mentioned there too (I just had a weird thought- what would be bro's opinion on fast food aka the unhealthy stuff? Idk what's my brain on)

Lol and he could take on the entire Team Prime so easily! Had the show had better and sometimes a wee faster animation, and had the 'cons not been so nerfed, Hothead would have crushed them faster. Bro loves fighting, and his smile is so precious-

Lockdown may be OVERPOWERED(as in, really and quite impressively good at fighting), but him being able to defeat decepticon high-command would be kiinda- ya know

F. R. FR.

Oo I love such discussions too :D I jus don't feel like Not-responding, da

I SO AGREE THAT HOTHEAD NEEDS MORE ATTENTION- WKRKFJKDKG

To me the ,,which personality is your favourite?" is a wee odd question (btw imagine somebody who isn't into transformers reading that out of context, LOL). I interpret Blitzwing's condition as something else, smth that isn't literal DID. Transformers processors work differently to human brain imo, + it's s w i t c h i n g f a c e s. Each of the three are technically Blitzwing, in my view, but with their behaviour being a bit intensified. Won't expand on these headcanons too much right now... xd but Hothead needs allat good attention too fmksjerjtdkecjk

By the way, I don't delve into what headcanons people have quite adopted too much, so my thoughts aren't necessarily close to those, da

I had such a realization last night-

I yapped about Cyberverse Astrotrain's dimples under the eyes yes

Oh but there is also DJW's Human!Error TFA Blitzwing design having wee dark circles under the eyes (just like Starscream and kinda Lugnut)

Non-g1 (talking about cartoons/series, not comics) versions of these guys are just so tired 💀💀

Each time I rewatch tfa I just can't. stop. thinking. about how t i r e d Blitzwing is, LOL. Predominantly in ,,Lost and Found"... (also not going to forget the scene near the beginning of season 1 finale)

I mean just look at how many times he's just laying- and especially how annoyed Hothead is. He's had enough and it's like he's sick of everything. Sometimes it feels like bro does N O T want to be here during the above-mentioned episode... l o l [*]

I literally started headcanoning that he got captured by Lockdown just because he wanted a wee rest after all that stuff from season 2 finale and before it and basically got surprised, no fight 💀 (dumb-aah as some would say?) Imma elaborate on that another time maybe cuz it might not sound too clear

Not gonna do any (attempts at) analysing 'n stuff rn, da

(Btw, I am planning to do a yapping session about tfa 'cons)

[alienfailboy]

humanoid aliens who are so perfect and yet so human that something about them is unsettling

[earl-grey-crow]

"I'm...I'm alive. I'm okay" I heard your voice crack jacob

[blue-thief]

the order doesn't matter that much also the "not for me" tier can range from "man idgaf" to "WHAT THE FUCK"

[leschanceux]

"Better or worse than when I said you look like your dad?" He's never quite forgiven himself for that, though he'd been genuinely unaware of what Ed's father had been like - and quite a bit younger - when he'd made the comment. He can't imagine working to support his family, though, being the main breadwinner for so many people. It's a lot of pressure, and that makes Gordy sad ( although maybe sad is too basic a word to apply here ). "How long were you in, in the end? 'Cause I remember that you were still on active service when you started coming round regularly." His memories of living on the houseboat are hazy by now, but he remembers the fallout after he'd almost drowned with a certain kind of clarity that often makes him wonder if what he remembers is actually just a mix of other people's memories and his own imagination.

It's not like he's given zero thoughts to his future --- but it's also not like he's focused a hundred percent of his attention on it either. It's just... there, hanging over him like a threat or a promise depending on the day. And isn't it better to keep your options open, rather than to close more doors than you open? Just because he's not very happy with the questionably accurate results of his careers quiz, doesn't mean he's going to say that he'll never become a geography teacher or a policeman. "I think... I might like to go to uni and study Biochem, though." That'll get him into a lab for sure, and there should be enough jobs in a variety of fields to give him options later.

"Nah, telling us why we ended up with the results we did might actually involve them knowing how the algorithm works." A snort; a roll of his eyes ( one of his careers advisors still struggles to use a computer --- not the best start to discussions about his future, honestly ). "I don't have to listen to their advice, right?" Just because the careers people think he might be good at something, doesn't mean that he will actually be good at them. Honestly, looking at the state of some of his teachers, Gordy's not planning on going back into a school once he's left if he can avoid it.

"We're applying for university places in like a year, though. There's not that much time to keep working stuff out. At some point, I'm going to have to commit to something." And as for his friends... "We don't really talk about stuff like that that much."

“No need to say sorry. You didn’t know, and I’m not gonna judge ya for it, ‘cause it ain’t the world you grew up in, is it? I had a few jobs while I was still at school, ya know. Washing dishes and all that. Just didn’t pay enough for all of us. There was your nan, your aunts, and uncle Artie was just a baby then. I figured I needed summat that paid better than what I could find. The army wasn’t too bad, and at some point, I just thought I couldn’t leave again.” UNTIL THE INCIDENT. But even then he had struggled with the thought of leaving active service. He had only known that – years and years following protocols and trying his best to keep his family – and the world – safe. It had taken a few conversations with Kate – long nights talking, while his bones were still healing – to convince him, but if he hadn’t left active service, then… They wouldn’t be here now, either. Kate couldn’t be with someone, who she had to worry might not come home again. AND HE UNDERSTOOD THAT AS WELL. He only wondered whether it had changed, now that she was move involved in UNIT, too.

He would have to ask her, hearing Gordy’s honest answer. Couldn’t help, however, raising an eyebrow at it. He had never thought Gordy would want to follow his footsteps, or that of his grandfather. Gordy, in Ed’s opinion, was brains not brawns, and while he wouldn’t necessarily put himself into the latter category either, he just – could see more for Gordy. Was this just parental instinct and something you said, like telling your kid that he wasn’t boring, or was there more behind it? He had wished the career talks at Gordy’s school would give him an answer to that as well, but they seemed to have failed completely.

He sighed at it, before he couldn’t hold back THE LAUGH as his imagination tried to come up with a picture of Gordy as a geography teacher. “I know you can read a map, sound, but I reckon there's more to it than just knowing where North and South are. Don’t they tell you WHY they reckon it’d be a good career for ya? – And a copper… I dunno. Even yer Uncle Ben's not happy in his job, is he?” Couldn’t see that either for Gordy. Ultimately, of course, it would be his son’s decision, what he wanted to do with his life, just as Moira would be encouraged to go whatever way she wanted – but a parent’s role was still to care, and Ed did; furrowing his brows as his eyes rested on the other.

“You’ve still got a bit of time to work it all out, an' it’s alright to try stuff an' then realise it ain’t what you wanna do for the rest of yer life. Do yer friends already know what they wanna do?”

[orchideae]

1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?

"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."

[sysig]

If your eye causes you to [fear], pluck it out (P1 | P2 | P3 | B) (Patreon)

[medicinemane]

The world is set on prescriptivism and... it doesn't jive with me

[kaijutegu]

Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.