#someone needs to get this boy some anxiety pills

[tsukasalvr]

Idk if your requests are open or not AAHH! But if they are:

(Possible TW in my request for mentions of depression, anxiety, commiting di3 joke)

Could you do a reader with bad depression and anixety. And maybe one day reader makes a joke about 0ffing themself and then they dont show up to school for a few days

Characters I would prefer(from TBHK): Kou, Teru, Hanako, Akane(boy)

You can add more if you like! :)

Im sorry its not very specific, this is my first time requesting something

Also sorry i know topics like these are difficult for some people <3

depressed!reader who makes su*cidal jokes

Anime/fandom: Tbhk

Characters: Kou Minamoto, Teru Minamoto, Hanako, Akane Aoi

Warnings: I don’t proofread, depressed reader, mention of suicide

A/n: just got broken up w by my pookie wookie☹️💔

Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist

Kou Minamoto

Is immediately put off by what you’re saying and is immediately concerned, and gets even more concerned once you get together and just stares nervously at you while stuttering, not knowing what to say

“That’s so embarrassing, if that were me I would kill myself no doubt! Being so stupid like that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” You casually said while looking at a post on your phone.

“O-oh… umm…” Kou is at a loss for words sometimes and tries to brush it off by moving onto something happier to distract you from thoughts like those

When you make a joke that’s one day too far he genuinely seems so much more concerned and ask if you’re okay. He gets so worried about you that it’s best not to make jokes like that near him.

If you don’t show up the next day, he gets worried and is immediately trying to leave school early even though he knows Teru will berate him later for it, he needs to see you’re okay and when he arrives to your house and sees you are, he’s very serious about not making jokes like those again and is invites you to his house more often to distract yourself and is willing to help you get help

Teru Minamoto

Gives you a nervous smile when you joke about suicide and even when you you’re dating he still gives you an obvious fake smile to not hurt your feelings. He knows that outright saying that if you need someone talk to talk to can be annoying sometimes so he’ll try to subtly let you know he’s there

Whether it’s from talking about a topic of a documentary of a tragic life of some celebrity and all they needed help to having Kou telk you that you’re part of the family and that you can tell them anything when you’re over at their house

“I can’t stop messing this up! God I really should’ve taken those pills when I had the chance, what the hell!” You said angrily at the fact you couldn’t get the string through the small hole in the needle.

Teru could only smile at you, he never says anything to your ‘jokes’, but then he stops and just goes to frowning hoping that you’re not being serious

When you don’t show up the next day, he’s not super worried and just assumes you’re late but sends you messages. But after a few hours the messages become more frequent and by the end of the school day he’s running to your house scared. When he sees you’re alright, he’s pissed and says enough is enough and he’s not taking anymore jokes and is instead going to help you

Hanako

He might laugh at your jokes, but it’s only so he doesn’t worry you. He’s not an unfamiliar when it comes to stuff like this and he knows you might now want to talk about it right away so he’s fine with trying to take it slow

On the inside though, his ghostly heart is scared that you’re it joking and you’re actually being serious. He can’t bear the thought of you dying—and especially dying this way so he keeps a close eye on you and has Kou and Yashiro even make sure that you’re doing okay

“God, I’m so stupid and useless” you say with a laugh as you look at your test result and shove the paper back in your bag

Hanako stares at you, and lets out a laugh that’s believe enough. He’s conflicted on what he should do, should he ask how you’re doing? What if you lie to him? Would you even want to talk to him?

It seems as if his worries have come true when you didn’t show up to school the next day and asks if Yashiro or Kou have seen you at all and to message you on those weird electronic things. Yashiro only agrees to go to your house when Hanako asked because she too was worried about you. Hanako waits impatiently the next day and sees you and you tell him you were just feeling sick. If he could, then Hanako would definitely cry and basically forces you to promise to tell him if anything is wrong with a scared and worried expression on his face

Akane Aoi

You’re the most precious person in his life so he takes everything very serious when it comes to you. A paper cut? He’s getting ready to call an ambulance for you and is frantically asking you if you’re okay.

So joking about such topics near him immediately alarms him and hea on full protective mode with asking if you’re joking or not. He takes everything you say seriously, he cares about you a lot so to see you laugh about it, hurts him a little

“What if I jump out this window right now? I really do want to do this test!” You whined and looked over at the window that was right next to where you were sitting.

Akane had a prominent frown on his face, he knew you weren’t exactly mentally okay and you’re jokes were becoming more and more frequent

He’s on full panic mode when you don’t show up to school the next day and the worst possible outcomes are immediately coming to mind. He hopes he’s wrong and is blowing up your phone and is willing to mess up his perfect attendance streak for you, he’ll fix it later. But when he sees you overslept and your phone died because wig wasn’t charged, he’s disappointed. He knew it was getting worse if you dying was what came to mind when you didn’t show up so he pledges to help you

[soggyriceee]

Idk how to work tumblr sorry, is this how you do requests? ☠️ IDEK IF YOUR TAKING REQUESTS IM SORRY. If you are tho could you pls do something along the lines of virgin fem Reader x König where Kö helps yn explore her body and figure out what feels good cuz she has no clue how sex works. PRETTY PLS SORRY IF YOURE BOT TAKING REQUESTS RN LIKE I SAID I HAVE 0 CLUE HOW TO WORK THIS APP TYSM 🫶🫶

let me help you | Konig

summary: request

warnings: oral(f!recieving), fingering, size kink, missionary , after care, lovey dovey Konig and totally no desperate Konig towards the end. like at all. oh and maybe some tummy bulge action

you were a christian, church raised girl. never once had a boyfriend. never went to parties. never kissed a boy. your parents were distraught when you ran away at 18. well, “ran away”. you saved since you were 16 for your own loft in the city and moved away without notice. changed your number and privated all socials. since then, you’ve been living yohr best life. so much so, you even managed to find a boyfriend.

tall man you met randomly at a bus stop coming back from your morning shift. he was going to his night shift. you had dropped your wallet grabbing your phone from your pocket and he saw it, quickly grabbing it and calling out for yoh. “your wallet. it fell back there.” he said, looking down at you.

he had a thick German accent, beautiful eyes and and well kept hair. and of course. he was insanely bigger than you. “thank you.” yoh would blush, quickly grabbing the wallet. not much was said after that, but instead you saw each other every day catching the bus.

finally, after seeing you everyday for a week, he finally went up to you this time for your number. and that following weekend you both were on a date, clicking almost immediately. and it only took him a three weeks to ask you, “can I be your boyfriend?”

you both have been together for 9 months now and it’s been the best 9 months of your life. he was caring, giving and gentle with you. he was your superman whenever you needed him to be. and he showed you the most amount of love you’d ever received.

one of the most important attributes he has is patience. you know Konigs been horny. sometimes you’ll wake up from a nap, hearing Konigs whimpers from the bathroom. it made you feel bad for not giving him sex the first couple months like most couples. but he never pushed you, never made you feel bad for it. “i understand mien herzchen. i’ll wait forever for you.” he comforted you one night when you confronted about your anxiety.

apart of the reason you hadn’t given him yoh was you were scared. scared of the pain, getting pregnant or diseases. you were raised with such a negative view of sex, the city and social media helped in changing your views yes, but you were still concerned of some of those things were true aboht sex.

the second was because yoh knew nothing about pleasuring someone. you didn’t even know how to pleasure yourself. you had tried before of course. but you didn’t know what you were doing. something he felt good, like when you would shift side to side on the couch you couldn’t help but let out a small whimper. you’ve felt the warmth in the pit of your stomach before, especially when you’d hear Konig at night or when he kissed you or even looked at you. you’ve gotten soaked before but you had no clue on what you were doing. so how could you pleasure Konig?

but tonight you put your big girl panties on and made your way to the drug store, looking for the pill. the morning after pill. Konig had no idea. he had no idea you’d been looking up things for sex. toys, positions. what usually feels good what usually hurts. you spend the last week studying up on sex and now you were ready.

when you got home, Konig was on the bed, watching whatever was on when you left. “hello libe. was your walk good?” he asked, sitting up with a smile on his face. you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat as you placed the bag on the bed. “uhm.. look. inside.” yoh said softly, looking back and forth between him and the flimsy bag.

“did you get me a gift?” he asked, grabbing the bag in his large hands and opening it. his smile fell, a more confused look on his face. when he looked up, you clenched your jaw before speaking. “i uh.. have been looking up these things. i was curious. but now i think i’m ready.” yoh said, clasping your hands in front of you.

for a bit Konig was silent, the bag still in his hands before humming. “are you sure libe.. this isn’t because you feel rushed or or guilty or-“ “no. i swear i-i’m ready.” you nodded.

it was silent for a moment before Konig gave you a smile, reaching over and pulling you into him. he gripped the backs of your thighs, pulling them to plop you on his lap, your legs straddling either side of him. his hands cupped the side of your face, looking at your lips before your eyes.

“i’ll go slow. promise me you’ll tell me if you get uncomfortable. or something doesn’t feel good and what does feel good.” he said, looking into your eyes. your cheeks were blushed but you nodded, giving a quiet “okay”.

he smiled before pulling your face into his, your lips moving slowly against each other. his tongue slid into your mouth, moaning softly into you. it didn’t take long for your pussy to start pounding, the familiar feeling in your stomach coming back. below, you felt the hardness of his dick press against your cunt, earning a small whimper.

he pulled away, going right for your neck. he kissed the soft skin before pressing his tongue flat, sucking your skin gently into his mouth. this earned another whimper from you, this time louder than the first. yoh instinctively put your hand over your mouth, embarrassed.

“no libe move your hand.” he said softly, pulling away from your neck. “did that feel good?” he asked, pulling your hand down from your mouth. you nodded, getting nervous and looking away quickly. “use your words. i need to know for real you liked it.” he smiled. “i-i liked it.” you nodded again, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.

he smirked and shifted, grabbing your hips. “i’m gonna lay you down. is that okay?” he asked. another ‘yes’. he moved quick, laying yoh on the bed and following after, spreading your legs to lay between them. “may i?” he asked again, tugging the bottom of your shirt. you nodded. he continued this pattern, asking and doing until you were fully naked beneath him.

his breath hitched as his eyes scanned down your naked body. “w-what?” yoh asked, shifting to close your legs and cover your upper half. but he was quick to push your legs back open, eyes meeting yours. “i cant look at you beautiful?” he asked softly, giving you a small smile.

his hands massaged your thighs as he leaned down, pecking your lips before going further down to your neck. this time, he was a bit more rough. you felt his teeth nibble gently at your skin, his tongue running over the spot he but down on. naturally, your hands found his hair and you clung to it. this earned a soft groan from him.

“you like when i bite down on your skin like this libe?” he whispered, his hands moving further and further up your legs. your heart began to pound in your chest and you grew a bit nervous of where Konigs hands were going. and he could tell as soon as your breaths began to pick up.

he stopped his hands and the biting on your neck, lifting his head. “am i going to fast?” he asked, looking down to your eyes. “n-no not at all. you can keep going.” you smiled, grabbing his wrists and moving them. but he obviously was able to halt his wrist easily. “tell me libe. i can go slower. or or talk to yoh more to relax you. anything.” he said, shifting himself.

instead of calmness, anxiety and guilt washed over you. you felt like you were asking of too much. “libe.” he called to you, lifting your chin. “i-i’m just really.. nervous.” you said, “but i trust you. i’ve just.. never done this before.” you finished, looking down to his chest.

he was silent for a moment before speaking again. “tell me what you want me to do.” he said, letting your legs go. “where you want me to touch or feel. we’ll go at your pace.” he said, smiling down at you.

a small smile crept to your face, feeling a bit more relaxed. your heart slowed, but anxiety was still very much an emotion you were tackling. but you were ready for this. and you couldn’t have asked for a better person to do it with.

“i-i wanna know what it’s like to.. to get eaten out.” you said, not daring to look him in his eyes. a chuckle came from above, followed with a “you don’t even have to ask for that one mien libe.”

Konig began to shuffle, moving to lay on his stomach. his hands gripped either of your thighs, an excited smile on his lips. “your skin is so soft..” he said softly, pressing his lips to your skin. he continued this, moving up your inner thighs until he got to your pussy.

he moaned quietly, his bottom lip tugging between his teeth. “and your pussy is so pretty.” he smiled. again, your heart began to pound. “may i try something?” he asked, following with another kiss to your inner thigh. quickly you nodded, the feeling of need beginning to trump the anxiety.

he shifted once more, his arms looping under your thighs. “i’m gonna rub your clit for a bit. is that okay?” he asked gently. you nodded quickly again. “your words libe.” he said, his thumb beginning to dance around your pussy. “yes. please.” you blurted out, barely allowing him to finish his sentence. with a chuckle, he pressed his thumb against your clit.

your hips jerked back slightly, a small gasp leaving your lips. slowly, he moved his thumb against your clit, moaning as your juices coating his thumb. "does my libe feel good when I rub her swollen clit like this?" he cooed, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh.

you on the other hand were speechless, your mouth hung open slightly. your hips bucked up occasionally, your clit throbbing against his thumb. "y-yes I love it." you moaned out, your head falling back on the pillow. but you couldn't rest too long.

"gonna taste you now. cant wait." he groaned before smashing his lips to your pussy, replacing his thumb. naturally, a gasp left your lips as he sucked your clit into his mouth softly. "o-oh my.. God." you whimpered, fingers digging into the mattress.

his tongue pressed flat against your pussy, slowly licking up your slit. when he got to your clit, he moved his tongue in small circles, finally looking up to see your hand slapped over your mouth. so he stopped.

"well that's no fun." he huffed, reaching up to force your hand off your mouth. you knew that yes, making noise during sex was normal and a turn on for most men. but you were worried you'd overdo it and eventually turn Konig off. but nothing about you in this moment, unless it was something drastic, could turn Konig off. "I wanna hear how good im making you feel schatz." he said, smiling up at you before dipping his head right back down.

this time, you felt his tongue slowly slide into your cunt, earning a gasp in response. another new feeling. he moved it in and out slowly, coating as much of his tongue he could in your juices. you whimpered out, your head falling onto the pillow. you tried to keep your hands off from your mouth, so you decided to act upon something you had read previously. gripping his hair.

this was something Konig obviously liked very much because he groaned into your pussy as soon as he felt your hands in his hair. his tongue prodded at your spongy spot earning louder, more desperate moans from you. "k-keep doing.. that. please." you whined, bucking your hips back into his face so his tongue would abuse the same spot.

he chuckled, pulling away from your pussy to spread your lips apart before going right back into your cunt. "how about.. I try something new?" he said into your pussy, kissing your clit before pulling away. you whined at the lost sensation but nodded, only caring in this moment about him eating you out again. "im gonna add a finger. get you ready for me a bit more okay?" he said, maintaining eye contact with you. when you gave him the okay, he slid one finger in slowly, humming at the sound of your pussy.

"your so wet schatz.. I don't know if I can wait any longer to be inside you." he said, watching how shiny his finger got when he slid it back out of you. you watched as his finger disappeared, grunting at the feeling of your walls being stretched. his fingers by far were a lot bigger than yours. and while yes you've managed to figure out you can put your fingers inside, it was way different when it was someone else doing it. someone who had longer, thicker fingers.

what you especially liked was when he moved his finger up and down, hitting the same spot his tongue was a few moments ago. "s-shit Koni." you whimpered, throwing your head back onto the pillow. he moved his finger slowly, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. he was entranced by how sloppy your pussy was getting for him. "can I add another libe?" he whispered softly, not even bothering to make eye contact with you. "please." you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut as he was already sliding another in.

it was a new feeling, being stretched out. having something.. well inside you. it was uncomfortable at first, but he talked you through all of it. "that's it libe, taking my fingers so good aren't you?" he cooed, kissing your thighs as he moved his fingers in and out of you a bit faster. you nodded quickly, your toes curling around the sheets. "c-can you go faster?" you choked out, lifting your head to meet his eyes. he smiled, pressing one last kiss to your thighs. "anything for you libe."

his fingers moved slightly faster, finger tips digging deeper into you. your mouth fell ajar, feeling your lower stomach begin to turn. "fuck libe you're clenching around my fingers. are you close?" he asked, shifting to move closer up to your face. you assumed yes. you felt something very new in the pit of your stomach. and whatever it was was approaching fast. so you nodded your head quickly, your ands finding his forearms to grip them.

"go ahead then libe cum around my fingers. you can do it." he whispered, leaning down to your bare chest. he caught a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it gently. the double stimulation pushed you towards the edge. but you got nervous. was this actually what an orgasm was supposed to feel like? "K-Konig it feels weird." you whined out almost inaudibly, trying to push away his arm. he released your nipple with a pop, looking into your eyes. "its okay libe just let it go. I got you." he said gently.

his finger went back to abusing your spongy spot and that alone was enough to finally push you over the edge. "o-oh God~" you whined out as your legs began to shake, your hands grasping onto his arm tighter. "thats it libe let it go.. let it all go." he cooed, watching as his fingers coated white with your cum.

your stomach was doing somersaults, your cunt spaziming around his fingers as they moved slower and slower. your chest rose and fell rapidly, your eyes fluttering closed. as soon as you began to realize how loud you just were, your cheeks turned a bright red.

"what?" he asked, picking up on your silence. his fingers finally slid out of your cunt, the feeling of emptiness taking over you. "I am.. embarrassed. I was so loud.." you admitted, grabbing a pillow to cover your face. as you did so, you heard Konig shuffling above you, his pants dropping to the floor.

"well..", he stripped the pillow away from you, meeting you with a bright smile, "you only gonna louder libe."

he tossed the pillow to the side before grabbing your under thighs, moving you closer into him. you shuffled to sit up, propping yourself on your elbows. "oh.." you accidentally said aloud. you had finally taken in his size, realizing how big he was. and it intimidated you. but he picked up on that very quickly.

"it will hurt just for a bit. like getting a shot." he said, leaning to press kiss to your forehead. "I promise it is gonna feel good." he said. you trusted him obviously. he was the one with experience after all. so you nodded and laid back down, swallowing the lump in your throat.

you felt him moving the tip of him up and dow, soft grunts coming from him. "you hear how wet you are for me libe? I think your ready." he said, smiling down to you. you felt ready. more horny than you were nervous. "please." you said softly, bucking your hips up once more.

König huffed, gripping your thighs to pull you closer to him. "take my hand, squeeze as hard as you want. and tell me if you wanna stop at any point. okay?" he said, sliding his fingers between yours. you nodded, gripping his hand. "your word, maus." he said again. "yes.. I promise."

he pressed a kiss to your forehead, whispering a soft "I love you" before taking his other hand, gripping his base and pressing it against your hole. "ill push in just a bit.. and then when you get used to the feeling ill move more." he said, looking dow at your cunt.

slowly, he pushed inside of you, his mouth falling ope slightly as a soft breath came from him. your eyes squeezed shut, finger nail digging into his knuckles. he was right, it hurt. horribly. and it was only the tip.

he kept to his word, stopping once the tip was in. "h..how do you feel?" he asked, looking at your tensed body. but all you could do was give him a small nod, trying to get used to the feeling of you being stretched out. "take as much time as you need." he said softly, kissing your cheek, moving down to your neck.

his other hand moved to your breast, trying to get your mind off the feeling of his length inside you. and it helped. your body relaxed slowly, your nails removing themselves from your boyfriends skin. "can I go a bit more?" he asked. you gave him a yes, opening your eyes. you looked down, trying to see how much left he had to push in.

he slid out his tip before pushing back into you, stopping as soon as your nails dug into him. he kept doing this, kissing you through it all, praising you and telling you how good you were doing for him. how pretty you looked. and when he was finally all the way in, you were already worn out.

"dont tap out now libe.." he chuckled, as his pelvis pushed against yours, bottoming out inside you. his knuckles were marked up with your nails, your own knuckles sore and white from how tight you were clutching to him. "its... a lot." you whimpered, looking down to see all of him had disappeared inside you. his face turned a bright red, a small chuckle leaving him. "well thank you.. are you okay if I start moving?" he asked, his hand still in yours. and when you gave him a small yes, he pulled out slightly before pushing himself back in.

your head laid back on the pillow, your eyes squeezing shut as you got used to the feeling. he moved slow, watching your body to make sure you were okay. your fingers dug into his knuckles again, but this time in a sense of pleasure. small whimpers slipped past you as he pulled out more, pushing back into you.

"talk to me libe.. how are you.. feeling." Konig asked, his eyes trailing from yours to where your bodies connected. he wasn't going any faster, though he wanted so desperately to pound into you. your cunt wrapped around him tightly, sucking him back in with each thrust. "g-good.. can you go faster?" you asked, followed by a soft whimper. he nodded quickly, his free hand finding your hip as he moved his hips faster against yours.

your eyes squeezed shut, the pleasure taking over your lower half. your whimpers grew louder and out of embarrassment, your own free hand slapped over your mouth again. but Konig grunted, taking that hand in his other. "what did I say libe? I want to hear you." he demanded, his eyes locking to yours. you hadn't realized it, but your cunt clenched around him, finding it sexy how dominant he had suddenly became.

his head fell, going back to watch himself slide in and out of you. "fuck you're so wet.. just for me hm?" he asked, gripping onto your hands. his hips slowly picked up, deep moans coming from him. he loved watching how shiny his cock was as it slid out of you, listening to it talk back to him as he pushed back inside. the sound of your slick making him throb inside of you. the sound of his balls slapping against your lower arse.

his tip began to abuse right at your womb, causing you to cry out in a mix of pleasure but also pain. so his hips slowed down as he panted above you. "sorry libe.. your pussy is just so fucking wet." he chuckled, finding a small pleasure in your pained face.

his hips continued, slowing making sure to control himself. he let go of one of your hands, sliding it down your body to your puffy clit, rubbing it to match his thrust. your body reacted well to that, hips subconsciously bucking up. he chuckled, watching as your body squirmed beneath him. "feels good?" he asked, moving his eyes down to your cunt.

he doesn't know how he hadn't realized it before, but your lower half had a small bulge every time he pushed back into you. he hadn't even realized you responded to his question, his eyes locked onto how his cock filled you up, almost too much. "oh libe.." he whimpered softly, his hips again moving quicker against yours.

he couldnt help it, you were so sexy to him. he was fighting the urge to completely fuck you senseless, fighting the urge to grip your throat and fuck into you deeper, pushing your legs up to your head and hearing you cry out to him about how it was too much.

you had realized how his hips moved quicker, but it felt more pleasurable than it hurt this time. "f-feels so good Koni." you whimpered, your free hand gripping the sheets beside you. for some reason, the nickname made him more desperate for you, a whimper slipping past his lips. "fuck maus" he groaned, feeling himself already getting close.

he looked up at you, watching as your boobs bounced up and down with each of his thrusts. everything about you, your face, body whimpers was all too much for him. he was growing so desperate for you. it was a new feeling for him. of course he'd had sex before. it was an obvious fact he stated when you both began to get a bit more serious. but, the wait for this to happen, the tension and small discussions leading up to this made it so much better for not only him. but for you as well.

he was so lost in his own pleasure he hadn't felt his dick twitching inside you, the lot in his lower stomach forming quickly. it didn't help how your pussy gushed and spasmed around him, his own pelvis slowly becoming wet with your slick. "m-maus I wanna fill you.. up. you gonna let me fill this pussy up?" he panted, one of his hands gripping your chin to force you to look up at him.

"y-yes please.. please Koni." you whimpered, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time. inside you, his cock twitched again, a breathy whimper leaving his lips. "fuck y-your gonna drive me crazy." he groaned, his head dropping to your neck.

his tip continued its abuse on your womb, your legs shaking on either side of him as that familiar knot came back. your nails dug into his shoulders now, crying out for him as that pleasure grew closer and closer. "cum with me libe. fuck I wanna f-feel you pulse around m-me." he moaned, pulling your lower half closer up into him.

your eyes crossed, jaw gone slack. the words, praises and soft 'I love you's' were so quiet compared to how loud you were being for him. and he fucking loved it. "I-im cumming libe.. o-oh fuck" his head lifted from your neck, eyes immediately going to your rolled back ones. your face alone made him shoot into you, your pussy pulsing around his already sensitive cock.

"I-it's gonna come... Konig~" you cried out as your legs violently shook beside him. his thumb moved quick to your clit, helping you ride out your orgasm as he breathed heavily above you, watching your body tremble for him. "s-such a good.. good girl. just for me." he breathed out softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

slowly, he pulled himself out of you, watching as his cum and yours drip from you and onto the sheets. if he wasn't so worn out, and it wasn't your first time, he'd slip his cock right back into you, collecting all the cum to push right back into you. so instead, he looked up at you to see your eyes already shut closed, your breathing soft and slow.

a small smile came to his face, taking your limp arm and pressing a kiss to your hand. "libe.. come on. at least go pee first. ill clean up the mess." he said, shaking you softly. but of course, you hadn't woken up fully. so for the rest of that night Konig did everything for you and when you were finally cleaned up fully, he would watch you as your eyes closed for the last time.

yay another request out.

[sourpatchys]

Hi, I wanted to ask if it would be okay if you could do Dabi, Spinner and Shigaraki (separately) Helping their girlfriend’s Recovery after her surgery?😊 I love those boys they always bring me comfort🥹

(last year, I got both of my fallopian tubes removed because I didn’t want kids and wasn’t planning on having any at all whatsoever! and honestly best decision I ever made, because. I’m already dealing with stress and anxiety bad enough as it is!!!😱)

Hi!! Yes, of course I will! I’m happy to hear you got to make that decision, I definitely understand the want to do so haha

Notes: no real setting, I wanted reader to have a warm bed to sleep on, so this could be before the summer training arc or afterwards in a nice hideout! (potentially PLF era?)

A/n: just so that everyone can read, regardless of whether they want kids or not, I made the surgery in question a little vague! It can be whatever your heart desires

Guidelines Masterlist

—

Tomura wasn’t really sure what to do with you.

He knew you were hurting and had to take it easy, and, honestly, he had no real issue with that— but everything else had him a little lost.

You slept more often than not, waking only to take your pain medication or to ask for a cool or hot compress— which of course he’d always get for you— even if he complained first.

And that’s really all it was. He took over as your caretaker, not even thinking twice about the decision. And why should he? You were someone he cared deeply about, and even if it showed a side of him to others that he didn’t necessarily want them to see— he was nothing if not adaptable.

He never went off on his own to get what he thought you needed, choosing instead to wait for your airy voice to mumble out a request. Though, he sat by your bedside, waiting for the next one to stumble out of your lips.

Getting food and water in you was difficult, the pain had made your hunger subside, and your sleepiness didn’t create many openings to help with potential dehydration, so he did bitch at you a few times to make you drink and nibble on a granola bar or some blended up soup.

Other than that it was quiet, tame and comfortable. At night he’d sleep beside you, making sure to put your medication and water bottle on your nightstand, allowing you to take the reins of your own fate while he slumbered— though— if he woke up every time he felt you shift— that was no one else’s concern.

Dabi was not the best caretaker. And by that I mean he basically took all free will away from you and completely took over, refusing to let your requests or opinions sway his decisions.

He’s well aquatinted with surgery and recovery, one doesn’t get to look the way he does and not understand the basics of both.

He made you drink when he felt it was appropriate, he would shove easily digestible food at you with such ease— as if it would be criminal for you not to take it.

He bitched at you the entire time,

“don’t do that”, “shut up”, “lay down.”

There was really no room for what you wanted. But really, all of your needs were met, and you felt better much quicker than you ever thought possible.

He made sure you took all of your medication, down to the last pill, regardless of how well you felt. He was both patient and not patient with you at all.

He stayed by your side the entire time— dressing you in silk pajamas as to not irritate your skin, fluffing your pillows when you weren’t looking, calling you names when you’d hurt yourself by moving around too much.

But the recovery was a success, and though it was agonizing, it really could’ve have gone any better.

Spinner was clueless.

He was at your every beck and call, fluffing your pillows, running around with every medical device he could get his hands on.

He was frantic, concerned and worried, with utterly no idea how to help you. He did try— oh boy did he try.

From the beginning of your bed rest until the end, he couldn’t keep still. Every groan that left your lips, every sigh, he was up and he was moving.

Your medicine was always distributed on time, sometimes even a little earlier than was necessary. You were stocked up with snacks, water and juices, and you were sure you had every pillow and blanket ever created.

He would cook for you, run his clawed hands up and down your scalp to sooty your aches and pains, he even got compress to put on a silly little magic show for you.

Anything to distract you— anything to make you laugh.

And while it was definitely overkill, and you were definitely more stressed about his well being than you were with your own— it made for a wonderful recovery.

You found yourself not worrying about weather or not you’d have to be out under again— because you knew that, above all else, you could laugh all the while.

[xelys-xlys]

I SAID I WAS GONNA ASK U ABT ANOTHER AU SO HERE I AM

tell me abt… sole!pac… :3

'' One of my creations subject to the truth that in the end ruins everything Waka waKa don't underestimate my specialty to create, OH!, THEM?!! How much do you want to meet him? ''

Summary of Ever Sole Soul (Au Opposite between anti-heroes), is an Au that there is no democracy and also there never was the great war between betrayus against the yellows rather the opposite, rather a peaceful revolution that in the end they dismantled their yellow leader from power by someone else with his powerful artifact that attracted the afterlife who would be the Salvation against diseases, pollution, and destroy poverty, an act of glory that could resurface a new hope that ended up in the wrong hands, over the years in compartmentalized to a hierarchy loyal to communism, while the yellow orbs held on, until one day a disease immediately killed the yellow ones little by little, each one lifeless, appeared because of that artifact discriminating against the corrupt terrorist political government saying that they were not the ones who "caused that disease" which it is.

Here enters Sole! Pacman, a 15-year-old teenager, known as the last yellow for staying on his feet from that disease or rather, cured of that disease. His entire life is being isolated from society, not having any contact with people who are not His trait, all his studies, his hobbies, his dreams, is being locked up, Shperia let him go out of sight when but not all the time for that reason he wore that sweatshirt so as not to be seen as yellow. Until they had to move to Pacopolis due to Sole's property issues to take a better step (<-for BAD) for Pac to begin to become independent.

His personality is intrepid and he likes to insinuate if you get to interact with him, he is almost an anti-social person, only he doesn't say it very openly, which is why he leaves all those comments in his head, His attitude is calm and secretive, he does not like to be patient all the time waiting for you to involve him or to talk to him about his tastes because he could possibly get scared and act in the worst possible way to attack you, just to say the least, just to say the least, leave it alone. He didn't care or have compassion for people or poor people.

A very important detail here is that the person his age said they had schizophrenia (they called him crazy :( ) for something that is not the case, even he himself knows that it is not a disorder for seeing things (here Spheria implied to Sole that They will take some pills to calm that anxiety because later a paranoid state would act later, if it is schizophrenia) which is why Spheria hides the reason why Sole acts in this certain way if it harmed him his entire life like this.

Sole, is a thug boy from high school along with Cyli and Spiral, at first he was friends with Skeebo who got along well since they were little, so their friendship was ruined because of Cyli and Spiral for being popular and for being known in the world. Pacopolis among his relatives because they are a political part of the territories (they are what keep the school funded), Sole saw that Cyli and Spiral little by little gained Sole's trust but acted in the worst way. possible in treating people for their satisfaction of the ill treatment that they themselves offered. At first Sole didn't like Cyli and Spiral, even after the move they were there and she didn't like that at all that they got in Sole's way even though Spheria was there explaining the condition they had to Sole.

Stratos Spheros, corrupt leader (dictator like the joker) with the same personality as Betrayus from the cannon, when they met he was not pleasant and much less with the talk but he was the one who gave the cure to Spheria and applied it to Pacster, and saying who is chosen to get rid of the ghosts in the underworld since they are a hindrance to his delegate of the ''loyalty'' of the artifact and he needed a yellow volunteer who would stop the ''malice'' of his brother. Sole agreed to this because she is the one who saved his life even though it was a fatal illness (created by them).

The reason it is called Sole is because the artifact is called Soleyver rather it heals it in exchange for a soul. This is where Pacster in this au is an anti-hero, a hero who does evil for the greater good without knowing the truth of what is really happening.

But are you going to throw stones at him?

@butterpuffed :3

[euijoosorangeslice]

Story of a College Succubus p.3

warnings: alcohol and drug abuse, jake and Heeseung kiss, slight manipulation? non-con touching, filler episode.

You angrily laid in your bed, arms crossed. That little shit really did that to you. Such an asshole. Anyway, you decided to talk to the person you trusted the most. Your dear old mother.

“Y/n, finally you call me! How is it going at school sweetie?” She happily answered, making you laugh. “Hey, mom. The boys here are pretty good to feed from, except I just need to be more careful.” You spoke quietly, not wanting to alert your neighbors. “Well, that’s good to hear. Check your pendant, sweetheart, and tell me what color it is.”

You looked at the necklace on your neck and answered, “Red, but there’s white cracks in it.” You heard a light sigh, and suddenly your mother’s voice was hushed. “Sweetie, you are growing up. You know every life phase it changes, and you’re 18 now. You’re going to start having to feed directly from your targets. So dream hopping still works, but you’ll still be hungry.” You should be happy at this news, that you’re changing and growing, right?

But it only angered you further. Life was shitty right now and it was getting difficult to keep up. “Okay, mom. I’ll try.” You whispered, mind fogged with anger. “You know, your birthday is coming up soon. It’s already Tuesday, okay? On Saturday you’ll be turning 19. If you feel anything weird, call me. Your body should be going through transformation and you’ll be put into a very…needy phase.”

You blushed at the newfound information. “Try and find a partner to settle down with for the weekend. It’ll make it easier, and we both know college boys love to have sex. Shouldn’t be that hard.” You heard a loud shout in the back. “I’ll call you back, sweetie. Your idiot father hurt himself.” Your mom hung up, leaving you with a smile.

Find a partner, huh? Shouldn’t be too hard.

-

You checked your phone in the middle of class, seeing someone had sent out a group message with an invitation.

__________

party, delta kappa delta house

9:30

(courtesy of the sports club)

bring 🍃,❄️ and 🥃

(or hot bitches)

- sh

__________

Wow, so inviting. You closed out the message, hearing your teacher rant about kids these days and their phones.

Maybe you could closet shop for an outfit after class. It was already 3pm, so you’d spend the rest of the time getting ready anyway.

-

You took a shower, taking a couple more photos before you began to get dressed and do your makeup. You settled on a slight smoky eyed look, accompanied with a sexy black outfit with a skirts and a tight see through top, along with some black boots with silver accessories.

You struck a pose in the mirror, smirking to yourself. If the goal was to find a boyfriend, then you’d do just that tonight.

-

You walked into the fraternity house, seeing a nice, pale but very handsome man dressed in a black tight t shirt and some black jeans. “Heh, so there’s the beauty.” He spoke loudly, walking closer and closing you into the wall. “I’m Sunghoon, pretty much the president of DKD. Nice to meet you, sweetheart.” He smiled teasingly, making you raise an eyebrow. “Nice to meet you too, Sunghoon. I’m Y/n.” You replied, Sunghoon grabbing your waist. “Let’s go for a walk, okay?”

You complied, letting him walk with you on his arm. “So, Y/n. How’s it going for your first week here?” You scoffed at the question. “Well, everyone at school had seen my naked body. So not too great!” He sensed the agitation in your voice. “I think you need to…calm down a bit Y/n.” He whispered, pouring a shot into a cup. “Fixes all my problems anyways.”

You looked away, watching as a short young boy wandered around cluelessly. He was adorable, but he looked like the definition of social anxiety.

-

While you weren’t paying attention, Sunghoon pulled a pill out of his pocket and crushed it in his hand. He poured it into the cup, stirring it into the cup.

-

A girl strutted towards the young boy, a smirk on her face. “Hey, Harua.” She flirted, leaning against the counter. “O-oh! Hi. What’s up?” He answered cheerfully, making the girl chuckle. “We should like, make out. I think you’re really cute.” He blushed, fiddling with his fingers. “I- I’ve never kissed anyone before.” He mumbled, her playing with his hair. “That’s okay. I can teach you.” She blew him a kiss, pressing his cheek. It was obvious to anyone in the room that she was going to play him, but for Harua it wasn’t so obvious.

You sighed, wishing that you could tell the boy his future. But you were a stranger. Why would he listen to you?

-

“Here you go, beautiful. Now hurry on upstairs, everyone’s waiting for you.” Sunghoon smiled, taking your hand and leading you upstairs. He opened the door to a room, gasping loudly. You looked in, seeing Jake and Heeseung’s lips intertwined. “Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” Sunghoon shouted, making Jake jump in his position. You had to admit, he looked really hot with messed up hair and plump, swollen lips. You stopped questioning why it felt like your vision was closing in.

“Experimenting, why?” Heeseung said, laughing and it was obvious in his tone he was drunk. “Well, I brought a new toy to play with.” You looked at him in confusion, lacking vision for a blink until you felt yourself fall into his arms. “She’s such a pretty girl. I can’t wait to get inside her.” Jake whispered, caressing your forehead.

You wanted to fight back, but you just let your body slip into unconsciousness.

-

You awoke to the sound of guys arguing, seeing the boy you had met on campus earlier getting into an argument with Sunghoon. “Dude, what the fuck?! Just because she’s hot doesn’t mean you can roofie her!” Nicholas shouted, Sunghoon rolling his eyes. “Fine, just take her. I’m not even that horny anymore.” He pushed past Nicholas, who walked up to you and grabbed you bridal style. “It’s okay, Y/n. We’ll go to my place.”

You softly smiled, still too weak to talk and leaned into Nicholas’s touch.

prev//next

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

Hello!! I hope your having a good day/night but I was wondering if you could write dazai and sigma and other characters of your choice or not with a reader who has social anxiety disorder who gets chest pains and nausea from it thank you :D

Comfort Crowd

Headcanon: Even with anxiety, they help you find a comfort crowd Ft Sigma, Dazai

A/N: Gonna finish my old req first cause they deserve justice

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

PORT MAFIA

MASTERLIST

HEADCANONS

Sigma:

Normally it was no joke when he first got to know you have social anxiety disorder.

he made sure you never were around people who you didn't knew, and made you stay away from large crowd knowing your condition (Let's be honest, he is scared himself that he might worsen the situation if he tried to help you with your anxiety)

I mean you live in a casino for god sake.

Sadly there are times when your presence is needed among the fellow Casino staff and members considering you were the cofounder of the casino itself, but worst of all you have to address all. (Let us assume, perry has three firetrucks-)

the constant fear of judgement would cloud up your mind. "Sigma what if they judge me?" "Calm down, it's alright love, breath in and out"

10/10 he holds hand whenever you are in public i.e outside your room, at gatherings, ANYWHERE.

Compliments you everytime he sees you, “you look good y/n”

Aww, he even tries to boost your self confidence with that!

It takes time for you to blend and adjust with some people, and he respects that. He wouldn't try to make you befriend people.

DOA makes you feel alive. Least Sigma does.

Sigma is caring enough and exactly knows how to calm you down.

Chest pains? He will run leaving everything and hug you tight, rub your back and make sure you drink water. I mean, even if you try to hid it he will know, He will just know.

Dazai:

Honestly, I think even with his supreme personality, he might as well as panic if he sees his loved one/s have any problem, especially an attack.

I would say, he rushes just like sigma, leaving everything behind and rubs your back, make you drink water and holds you tights while whispering, "Y/N just breath okay? Am here for you"

He is clueless about it.

It started with you both hanging out, and suddenly Dazai asked you a simple favour to pay the bill while he finishes eating, and oh boy you were sweating a lot.

"Y/N, Are you okay?"

Aww he is a late boomer, but he eventually figured it out.

He wouldn't avoid you from crowds, nor will advice you to stay where you are, but I think indirectly he will be helping you to cope up with it.

If you have pills, he makes sure you don't overdose. (Despite the fact he is ahem ahem)

He makes sure to carry those picture cards in his coat pocket, because somewhat he feels like if you ever feel dizzy and out of focus, the least he can do is get help from the cards.

I mean he is trying right?

I feel like he is to much emotional because after a time he is showing his true affections to someone other then his late friend Oda, and pretty much seeing them having attacks while he just stands there and panic, do nothing makes him feel downer then usual.

"Y/N am sorry, I couldn't help you better"

But we love his efforts.

btw, the cards helped him save his life he tries to waste, the bullet couldnt move pass the thicc cards.

[dw19791967]

That Feeling Part 3

Pairing: Dean x reader (eventual), OFC Tyler

Y/N POV and Dean POV

Warnings: language, unrequited love, angst, unwanted kissing, depression, anxiety, and feelings.

Trigger Warning: This fic contains discussions of depression and anxiety and feelings that go along with those. If that could be triggering for you I would skip out on this one. It is based on some experiences I have had in real life.

*All mistakes are my own!

I'm back (kinda) here's part 3. I'm thinking possibly two more parts. Let me know what you think!

-Layla

*I do not own this gif

Y/N’s POV:

It has been 5 months since one of the worst nights of my life. I started therapy and have been doing a lot better. It was kinda weird at first talking to someone about my life issues and past traumas, I spent a lot of time just sitting there trying to figure out what to say, especially since I can’t mention anything about hunting. But overall it’s been good. I’ve been taking better care of myself, spending more time with the boys, mostly Sam. Dean has been distant lately but I figured it was because he has spent so much one on one time with me the last few months. Sam has helped me start exercising daily (even though I hate it with every fiber of my being). I’ve lost around 10 pounds which is great considering I still eat a ton of take out. I’m starting to feel like my old self again. I took a break from hunting and started writing, that lasted a hot minute before I was tired of staying home. 

Being back in a routine was good, I feel good.

We are on the road currently Sam caught a case about missing bodies. One of my favorite things. They think I’m weird for enjoying the quiet of cemeteries, but I know it’s because the dead are easier to deal with than the living some days.

“Ok, we got four missing corpses. Gladis Bramford was the first, mid 80’s when she passed. They found her head a few counties over, still missing the rest.” Sam was typing away on his computer.

“Who the hell takes a head only?” Dean had a grossed out look on his face.

I laughed.

“Evidently someone had big plans, poor Gladis.” I poked Dean in the shoulder.

Sam rolled his eyes. “The strangest part was her eyes were replaced with red glass, they haven’t been able to figure out which funeral home she was housed at before entering her final resting place.” 

“So what do we think, grave robbers, ghouls, demons?” I asked Sam.

“Not sure, we will have to see after we check the head out.” 

_________________________________________________

Sam went to check out the head while Dean and I looked over the case files.

“You doing ok sweetheart? I know I haven’t really checked in on you lately.” Dean looked at me.

“For the most part yeah, I feel a lot better than I did. I think taking time to get my head on straight helped a lot, plus therapy.” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Dean smiled at me.

I missed spending time with Dean. But I hadn’t pushed him, I figured he needed a break from me and I understood that. I can be a lot sometimes and he has his own stuff to deal with. It’s not easy being my friend. Plus after everything I realized I probably will never be comfortable enough with myself to be with someone. I’m in love with him and probably will always be. Knowing he’s here but I can’t have him is a hard pill to swallow but I’m working everyday to move past it. I know he deserves better and I know I’m not it. 

“You haven’t heard anything from that douchebag right?” he continued reading over the files. 

“He actually messaged me a few weeks ago from his facebook account. Asked how I was and hoped I was doing better. I ignored it and he kept sending messages, saying he was sorry and he was a dick, blah, blah, blah. I blocked him.” 

“What an asshat, he must have balls the size of Texas to reach out to you after the stunt he pulled.” 

“I guess so, I was upset by it but I’m moving on.” I smiled at him.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, you didn’t deserve that, any of it.”

“It’s ok Dean, I’ve accepted what has happened and I’m moving on. Choosing between a man and a bear, I’d choose the bear.”

“You don’t mean that, you just haven't found the right man yet.”

I scoffed. “Dean… I’m an overweight, loud mouthed, cursing, strong willed woman, who has extreme trust issues. I doubt I will ever find a man who is ok with that, plus I don’t think I want to put myself out there again, who knows what will happen.”

“Just have me greet them with my glock, I’m sure it will go great after that.”

I laughed.

“In all seriousness I hope you do find someone someday Y/N, you deserve the world whether you believe you do or not.”

My heart sank. The only man I want is right in front of me and he will never want me.

“Thanks De.” I got up to pat him on the shoulder.

“Where are you going?” 

“I just need some air.” 

“Y/N I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t, I just have a lot on my mind and need a break.”

He frowned.

“It’s ok Dean, really.” I gave him a small smile.

Once I was outside and had the door closed I broke down, I can’t keep doing this to myself.

_________________________________________________

Dean’s POV:

I didn’t mean to upset her. I was trying to give her hope. 

It has been five months since I saw Y/N break. I’ve never been so scared in my life seeing her crumble under the weight of the world. I had to step back, let her get her head on straight without me. I don’t want to get used to relying on her to make me feel better. She needs to take care of herself, not me. I missed spending time with her but I knew it was for the best. Plus I know Sam is a better influence. I’m no good for her.

My phone was buzzing.

Sam.

“Hey man.”

“Dean hey, is Y/N with you?”

“Nah, she’s taking a break.”

“Oh, ok. I was going to let you guys know the cops think it’s a serial grave robber, evidently this has happened before. From everything I’ve checked out, I don’t see a relation to a monster. Maybe we should just let the cops handle it?”

I sighed. “Yeah that’s fine, we can stick around for a few days to see if anything happens.” 

“You ok dude?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just worry about her.”

“I know you do, but she’s doing better.”

“I know man, I just feel like I’m losing her. I know I stopped hanging with her but I wanted her to be able to heal without me looming over her.”

“Dean, she probably thinks you need a break from her, you know how she thinks.”

“You’re right Sam, I didn’t think about that. God, I messed up.”

“She’ll be back man and you can talk to her, I’ll go grab us some food before I head back.” 

As Dean was finishing his call with Sam, she sneaked back in.

“She’s here now, talk to you soon.”

“Everything ok?” she asked.

Her eyes were red, she had been crying.

Shit, I’m an asshole.

“Uh yeah, Sam said cops think it’s a serial grave robber, it’s happened before. Told him we could stick around for a few days and see if anything happens. He’s grabbing food, and should be back soon.”

She nodded.

“Y/N I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” I got up to go towards her.

She backed away.

“It’s ok Dean, I’m just being over sensitive right now.” 

“No you’re not, I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“Dean it’s fine really, let’s just drop it.”

“I don’t want to drop it Y/N, I’ve been awful to you these last few months. I was trying to give you space to heal and it backfired. You think I hate you or can’t stand you. Neither is the case.”

“I understand Dean, I know I can be a lot. It’s ok.”

I raised my voice “But it’s not, I feel like I’m losing you!”

She began to cry. 

“Dean, I was doing fine, great even. Until I realized the biggest part of me was missing you. Sam was great at helping me, sure, but you told me you would stick by my side and you didn’t. I really get it. I’m annoying as hell. Everyone deserves a break. But you know I would do anything for you, hell I have and I know you have done a lot for me. And the fact is, I’m not yours to lose. So stop apologizing, put your big boy pants on, and move on. I’m not going to keep doing this!”

_________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV:

Dean took a step back and sighed.

He can’t keep doing this to me and I can’t keep doing this to myself.

I could tell I upset him.

I rubbed my head and sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just don’t need to keep hearing your apologies alright, I get it Dean. You forget I know you better than you know yourself. I’ll be ok, please don’t beat yourself up.”

I moved to hug him. 

He held me in his arms.

Then spoke, “You know I can’t do that sweetheart, beating myself up is my number one hobby.” He laughed.

“Well you need to stop, especially when it comes to me.” I moved back.

“I just need to know it’s going to be ok Y/N, I know I messed up but I will be better. Promise.”

“I know Dean, I know.”

Taglist:

@hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog

@deanspinsterwitchs-readinglist

@pandasrdbest2341

[evita-shelby]

They didn't know we were seeds

Chapter 17

Cw: grief, mentions of substance abuse, anxiety, suicidial thoughts

@justrainandcoffee @emotionalcadaver @call-sign-shark @peakyswritings

Jack is a man on a mission.

He has packed all ne should need, he has a good guide and a peacekeeper’s uniform and a badge that should get him all the way to 12.

His beard is gone as part of Peacekeeper regulations, he has adopted a more Capitol-like accent to sell the lie he is a nobody from there and he has enough time to make it back home without anyone suspecting where he went.

His mother will assume he is with Eva, Eva will assume he is at his cabin, and he’ll be back home before they know it. He just needs to meet with their contacts and know how far he can get before 13 picks them up and takes them. It’s over a thousand miles and it would take a month or so to get there on foot if they managed to get there at all.

But the fake passes and the uniforms he’s stolen could allow more people to leave. Adults and some teenagers could do it. Tall girls and boys could make it to safety, but small children and women too far along wouldn’t.

Unless he could smuggle them in containers.

The train ride to 12 is expected to take about two days at the most, 6 to 10 hours if it’s on the newer trains used for government officials and those hosting the Reapings.

It would be a tight fit and risk far too much, but maybe a sedative in Laurie’s juice could have him asleep in a crate until they leave 12 and walk the rest of the way. They could do it, they have to before it takes more people he loves.

“Give the baby a kiss for me.” His mother fastens the straps on his backpack he’s taken to hide some last-minute things.

“I will, mom. Tell Katie that Eva doesn’t have a phone in her farmhouse, so she won’t answer any of her calls while we are there.” He hates lying to her, but he has to do this.

It was the only way.

Jack Nelson leaves his cabin as Sejanus, some rank-and-file peacekeeper assigned to 12.

“Where to, Sergeant?” the Officer checking the papers asks,

“12, under Head Peacekeeper Cray’s command, sir.”

Eva knows something is wrong when Jack doesn’t come.

“Daddy?” Laurie asks, pointing at the clearing that Jack always comes from because it makes it look like he is coming from a path that leads to a neighboring farm some miles out and not 2. Even their toddler knows something is wrong.

“He’s not coming, baby.”

He never misses the first week after the Games end. He always comes home and stays the week with her because there’s no work to be done on her farm and no one will notice he is gone beyond his mother and sister.

But it’s two days into the week and he has yet to show up.

Eva has no telephone here and spends the rest of the week in a state of anxiety waiting for Jack to come and tell her she was worrying for nothing. It takes her everything to pretend everything is fine for her baby son and she prays that he is not dead.

Jack had been in a terrible state when they left, reeking of booze and high on pills to numb himself. He hadn’t even remembered the train ride to 2 according to Katie who had called her to let her know she and their mother were taking care of him.

Their last call had worried her.

“I don’t know if I’ll get better.” He had unburdened himself completely to avoid taking up old habits and something told her that it had failed.

“You will, just as I did, and everyone here has.” She had reassured him as she kept him from hurting himself even more. “You can’t leave me, Jack. I forbid you.”

If he dies, she dies.

The Victor knows in her heart that she could never survive a world without him.

On the fourth day, someone comes and its not Jack. It is his mother who knows Jack as well as Eva does.

“I had hoped he was here.” She takes the whiskey Jack smuggled out of his district and pours it into her tea. Tea was not enough to calm Atia and Eva would do the same if she could. “I knew he was lying to me the second he began packing, but I thought he was just being cautious.”

“Did you ask Lyme?” Eva paces to keep herself from losing her mind in worry.

“She’s in 11 with her girlfriend, her father hasn’t seen Jack. No one has seen him, and I wanted him to be here and tell me I was being ridiculous, and he is fine.” The red-haired woman bites her nail trying to keep it together, but her mother’s heart cannot be hidden. “Oh, my poor rabbit!”

Eva knows what they do to those who run.

She’s seen how they kill and torture them, how difficult it is to leave one district.

And it is then the young mother and wife knows where he went.

Her husband had told her how he gets deserters to 13. A uniform and a fake badge and train to 12 where one of Shelby’s Contacts, a man by the name of Johnny Dogs leads them out to the ruins of 13.

“I know where he is. 13. He has been helping deserters escape Panem.”

He is able to leave the District with far too much ease.

Something is going to go wrong. He feels it in his gut as he changes into plain Coalminer’s getup in some derelict hut in the Seam.

“I can go with you, you won’t even know I am there, Johnny.” The young man, a grey eyed rebel by the name of Gale, begs with the ringleader who shook his head.

“And what will I tell your mom when you are killed or worse, boy?” the short and strange man ---a Covey man going by the way he acts--- was adamant that he turns back when they get to the lake.

“Can you use a bow?” the young man asks the career.

If they knew who he was, they made no mention of it, but for plausible deniability, Jack doesn’t say who he truly is. They wouldn’t help him if they knew.

“Since I turned ten, why do you ask?” Jack no longer feels any pride in how he was raised and yet it is that training that kept him alive and makes him invaluable to the rebellion.

“Just asking, you won your games with a sword.” The sixteen-year-old boy shows how bright he is by revealing to all who is the man wanting to know the way to 13.

“If I’d known the hell I’d live after, I would’ve let Juno kill me.” The victor says to Gale’s honest surprise.

“Tell me how you won, my name’s gonna be in the bowl forty times next year. I have to know in case I---” even the sullen and strong kid as tall as him cannot even bring himself to say it.

“It won’t come to that, not if you do as I say.”

Gale Hawthrone doesn’t turn back as he promised, and Jack makes sure the boy stays on the right path the entire time. When he does finally stop following, Jack and his group are greeted by a man named Boggs.

“Do you think we could get a kid here safely?” Jack asks Johnny and Boggs as they do the trade off and give Jack new orders.

He isn’t Iacobus Nelson here, he is Private Jack Nelson, another new soldier for District 13.

By the time he gets home, to Eva and his mother waiting anxiously on the porch, he and Gale have devised a way to get their families away from Panem should they need to leave without Johnny.

The last of his days with Eva and Laurie are spent planning an escape for all of them. Jack Nelson won’t let his family die while Plutarch wastes their time waiting for something that doesn’t exist.

[steveisagay]

How to fix the damage

Disabled munver

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 6.5 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Disabled Munver has taken over my life and I decided to write. I'm gonna do my best to do multiple parts and all of that happy bullshit.

Warnings: self-deprication, internalized homophobia, suicidal thoughts (you blink you miss it), not proof read so I have no idea what else

He couldn't even comprehend how much his life was falling apart, but he knew for sure it already did. Jason was dead one minute and waking up in the hospital the next. His girlfriend was murdered, but instead of it being the metalhead he was tracking down it was some other vessel apparently. He was in the hospital which sure sucked. But what was the worst was the fact that he was now paralyzed from the waist down. His parents told him that he was 'blessed' and how 'lucky he was to get out with such a small injury' but how was this small?

He lost everything, he couldn't play basketball, he lost a full ride scholarship, and he couldn't even go to the bathroom by himself. It did get slightly worse though, because Eddie was also in his hospital room. He wasn't visiting, his injuries were too bad for him to get off that easily, the two boys had to share the room. He would've thrown a fit about it if Eddie hadn't been so honest about the upside down and what happened to Chrissy. He also maybe was a kinda good storyteller.

His kids, well not his kids but the ones that visited, were somewhat nice. Although he had a feeling that the curly haired one didn't like him at all, and he knew for sure Lucas didn't forgive him for getting in his way. Jason could never forgive himself for all of everything that happened. It had to be his fault that it started, Chrissy started to grow distant and he should've said something but he didn't want to drive her away. Maybe it really was all his fault. Maybe he was being punished by God, for being a somewhat shitty boyfriend, for being...

That part wasn't true, he wasn't one of them. He wasn't like Eddie or, apparently, Billy. He dated Chrissy, he loved Chrissy. He'd be lying if he didn't say that Eddie was nice, and funny, and amazing with kids. Jason's parents asked him if he needed his own room but after hearing about the Upside Down and hearing how Eddie fought those bats he didn't want to leave. Eddie knew what he was doing incase something else happened and he couldn't really defend himself, you know, with his legs. Hell it'd be better if they just got ripped off, instead of him being ripped in half.

His stitches hurt like hell most days, but atleast he could still feel that area. With how stressed he was recently he didn't even know if he could, well, get off, properly. Everything always ached and himself and his parents refused to have him put on a morphine drip, so instead he was on 15 different medications. He wasn't allowed to keep any of his medicine on him while in the hospital per his therapist's request.

Jason had been going to physical therapy as well as normal therapy. His regular therapist, Dr. Linda, said that he had signs of depression, PTSD and anxiety. She also said that he should try to be less cynical. He wanted to say that she should try to be less optimistic. Most of their sessions were talking about his childhood, getting ripped in half, his (former) girlfriend, faith. Physical therapy was different though, it never helped the way he saw it. If it was really helping then he would have been able to walk by now.

The only thing that really kept him from hiding all of his pills everyday was Eddie, mostly. The only thing that kept him from clawing his skin until he couldn't anymore. He was always so bright whenever he got visitors, but Jason saw how exhausted he looked when everyone was gone. Jason and Eddie got closer than they would have ever guessed before all of this. Eddie saw Jason crying and unable to do almost anything without someone else, and Jason saw Eddie drained from a whole day of putting on a fake face.

A little while Jason's parents stopped showing up, and a little bit after that he learned that they left again. It didn't really hurt, it was just how it was, sure his parents were affectionate but that's just when they were home. His dad was a businessman and of course that was what he was supposed to be but... Nevermind it was stupid.

Jason was supposed to be sleeping, and if it wasn't for the lulling sound of Eddie's snores and the air being forced into his lungs he would've kept worrying. Jason had been worrying all of his life, but maybe he was fine getting some rest. It's not like his medication gave him any choice.

[negativeyield]

i came from ur greenout fic and u officially gave me soft ghoul comfort brain worms so soooo happy ur doing prompts. the worms must be fed

"this is the moment of just letting go" with Rain having insomnia and getting help from Swiss or Dew??

anon i could kiss you on the lips this is DELICIOUS -- from this prompt list

the dark's not taking prisoners tonight

Hitting sixty-six hours without sleep was a new record Rain had not tried to break.

He couldn’t figure out what the fucking problem was.

Rain was exhausted. Eyes heavy, brain slow. Supplements like melatonin had little effect on ghouls, but he tried it anyway. When that didn’t work, he downed some sleeping pills that only succeeded in making him see shadows that weren’t actually there— effectively scaring him into staying awake even longer.

He’d had bouts of insomnia before. Especially when they were timezone hopping on tour and his internal clock got majorly fucked. Rain would go through the usual channels: turning off any electronics, putting on some white noise, popping a sleeping pill for good measure. Sometimes he’d hit the gym a little harder to tire himself out.

Usually, these things worked.

Ironically, the only time he managed to get anywhere near sleep was in the middle of band practice. They were taking five while Mountain ran back to his room to get extra drumsticks after snapping his last spare. Most of them took that as their cue to grab a snack or go to the bathroom. Rain didn’t have the energy to do anything else but sit right where he was standing. One thing led to another, and suddenly his body was pitching backward.

Rain flailed, his reflexes grossly failing him. Luckily, he was swooped into someone’s arms before smacking his head into Moutain’s kit.

“Rain?” it was Swiss who caught him, pushing him back up to a sitting position before dropping to his knees in front of him, placing a hand on Rain’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Rain was disoriented. Head sleepy, heart beating rapidly as the adrenaline pushed its way through the overwhelming desire to lie down. He shook it off, nodding at Swiss.

“Yeah I… just guess… I.. uh,” the more Rain spoke gibberish, the more worried crossed Swiss’s face. Incoming footsteps and the anxiety of everyone seeing him like this seemed to snap Rain’s brain back into somewhat decent shape, and he managed to speak fluently. “Got a little dizzy, I guess.”

The footsteps turned out to be Dew downing the rest of a soda as he entered. His eyes fell on the two ghouls on the ground and he looked at them curiously.

“Having a picnic, boys?”

Before Rain could say anything, Swiss interjected. “Something’s wrong with Rainy.”

Dammit Swiss.

“What?” Dew’s mood immediately shifted. He hurried over while Swiss felt Rain’s forehead. “Are you sick?”

“No, I just—”

“He was sitting there and randomly went limp.”

“I got a little dizzy,” Rain argued, getting defensive even though he was lying, “I went to lie back and lost my balance.”

“Lost your balance while sitting down, huh?” Dew didn’t seem convinced. He seemed to have a particular talent for reading through his bullshit.

“I guess. Probably just need some water, I’ll be fine.”

Rain could feel Swiss staring at him. He turned to the multi-ghoul, who was intensely looking Rain up and down. “Want to tell us the last time you slept, Rain?”

Perceptive motherfucker. Sometimes he forgot Swiss had some quintessence in him.

“Uhhhh, three…” he messed up the division, counting again on his fingers. “Or four—”

“Fucking hell, Rain,” Dew looked at Swiss and then grabbed Rain’s hand. “You’re going to bed right now.”

“But we’re in the middle of—”

“The only thing we’re in the middle of your nap time. Swiss, take him to his room. I’ll meet you there after I talk to Papa.”

Swiss nodded, grabbing Rain’s forearm and basically pulling him to his feet against his protests. He didn’t have enough energy to fight the multighoul as he was led out of the practice room and toward the sleeping quarters.

However, that didn’t mean Rain wasn’t cognoscent enough to fight him verbally.

“I’m not a child, Swiss, I can go to bed myself,” he twisted out of Swiss’s grip, crossing his arms over his chest. Swiss, uncharacteristically, said nothing in response. “We really didn’t need to stop practice for this!” Silence. “It’s not like I didn’t try to sleep all those nights. I did. I tried everything.” Nothing. They reached Rain’s room and he whirled around at the blank-faced ghoul. “Are you going to fucking say anything?”

Swiss looked at him, sighing.

“You get pissy when you’re sleep-deprived.”

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe after you have a nap, Sleeping Beauty,” he said with a wink that was at least more in-character. Swiss reached around him, opening the door. “After you.”

Rain switched into a lightweight pair of pajama pants and an undershirt and laid down on his bed. Despite being tired enough to fall asleep sitting up in the practice room, here he felt wide awake again. It frustrated him enough that tears started to well up in his eyes, which was quickly noticed by Swiss.

“Rainy, what is it?” his voice was soft. Not mocking. Swiss reached out for him, and Rain decided he wanted the comfort. He grabbed Swiss’s hand and tugged weakly. The multi-ghoul laid down beside him and Rain immediately curled into him.

“I’m so tired,” he cried into his chest. The agony of being awake for so long was finally coming to a head. Swiss just rubbed his back in soothing circles as sobs racked his body. Rain was so out of sorts, he hardly noticed when the bed dipped under Dew’s weight. He took his place on Rain’s other side, entrapping him between Swiss’s tight embrace and the natural warmth of a fire ghoul.

“What do you think is keeping you up?” Dew asked gently once Rain’s sobs subsided into a dull numbness.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head, nuzzling into Swiss’s shoulder. “It’s like my mind won’t stop long enough.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing! Stupid shit. How much it sucks to not be sleeping, usually. Deciding who would be willing to punch me in the head just to knock me out for a little while.”

“Cirrus, probably,” Swiss muttered. Rain could feel Dew shift, probably to deliver a dirty look. “Trust me, she pents that shit—”

“You’re in a cycle, Rain,” Dew interrupted. “Not sleeping, getting anxious about not sleeping, not sleeping because you’re anxious about not sleeping— we gotta break the cycle somehow.”

“You know when my mind is usually the blankest?” Swiss said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “After I—”

“That is a last resort,” Dew swatted at him.

“It could work, though,” Swiss argued. Rain hated to agree with Swiss being a horny bastard, but it wasn’t the worst idea.

“It could also rile him up!” Dew also made a fair point.

“Only if you can’t get him there.”

“I fucking swear Swiss. Your name is carved into my last fucking nerve.”

“Does the carving say ‘Swiss + Dew forever’ in a cute little heart?”

“Only in your dreams.”

They continued to argue. Rain had a feeling it wasn’t ending anytime soon. He settled into the crook of Swiss’s shoulder, listening to the steady beat of his heart. With Dew’s warmth and the pressure of his limbs on Rain, he started to feel heavy. Swiss and Dew’s voices grew distant. It wasn’t long before he had a moment of awareness that he was finally slipping into sleep.

And he let go.

[yandere-writer-momo]

Heart Shaped Wound

Chapter 33

Author’s note: I’m running out of pictures. Anyways enjoy some Jun time!

._._._._._._._._.

     (Your name) sighed as she woke up groggily in the morning. She definitely started her cycle. She was sure of it.

      (Your name) made sure to clean herself up and wash her sheets on cold. This happened every time. She usually hung out with Katsumi on Wednesdays but she wondered if the young man would give her a break today. She felt like hot garbage.

      (Your name) sighed before making her way over to get her work outfit around.

      “Did you get hit with miss flow too?” Zaria grumbled as she came from around the corner. “I’m happy about mine. I’m not ready to be a mommy.”

      “I hate my body sometimes.” (Your name) groaned as she pulled her hair back. “I can’t wait to sleep today.”

      “Maybe you and lover boy can cuddle?” Zaria wiggled her brows as (your name) rolled her eyes.

     “I want a man free day. Just no men.” 

     “All of them would die to be the one to hold you tonight.” Zaria smiled at (your name). “Maybe you could hang out with Jack or Kureha?”

    (Your name) hummed. She should probably text Jack now that she thought about it.

     (Your name) sent Jack and Kureha a good morning text. Their replies almost immediate. 

    ‘Good morning. Did you sleep well?’ Jack was always so simple but Kureha’s message made her laugh a bit.

      ‘Good morning. It is the start of the new month. Are you experiencing pain? I can send you some pain pills.’ Kureha was indeed a doctor so he must’ve known.

      (Your name) texted Kureha first. ‘Please. I am suffering.’

      (Your name) then messaged Jack. ‘I slept decent. I think I was tossing and turning a lot. Did you sleep good? Have any dreams?’

        Jack messaged back immediately. ‘I have a hard time sleeping but I did have an amazing dream about you. Maybe I could show you what it was one day?’

       (Your name) flushed a bright red, immediately shoving her phone in her bag. She then slapped her cheeks to try to calm down. She’d look at it once she was at work. 

       Jack shouldn’t rile her up so early in the morning. That should be illegal to be that smooth.

.

.

.

       There wasn’t a note on her door this time. A smile on (your name)‘s lips. Thank goodness. Hopefully Katou wasn’t too messed up… even though what he did was extremely creepy and unacceptable, she felt bad for the older man. Katou probably thought her kindness was flirting and took them out of context. Poor guy.

       Maybe she would visit him and tell him that she didn’t like him. That she felt bad for him and she hoped he got help. Maybe Kureha knew a good therapist? She didn’t know. She probably should worry more about herself first.

       (Your name) began to set her class up as usual, a knock at the door alerting her. The kids shouldn’t be here yet, she was an hour early… who on earth could be here this early? 

       “Come in.” (Your name) replied as she continued to set up her class. She could feel anxiety pool in her stomach when she didn’t get a reply. (Your name) slowly made her way over to her desk and grabbed her phone. Holding the cellular device close to her chest in case she needed to call someone.

       The door slowly creaked open, her eyes widening when she saw Jun standing in the door way. The pirate having his brown hair pulled back by a green bandana and he wore a white tank top. She hated that he was always so handsome. It made it difficult to hate him.

      “Meu amor. I’ve been looking for you all over.” Jun whispered as he approached her. Her fingers going through her contacts, hoping to find someone who could help her out. 

      Jun placed his hands on either side of her body. His body caging her at her desk, the pirate leaning in to greedily inhale her scent. She still smelled like vanilla, cloves, and cinnamon. God he missed the way she smelled.

      (Your name) dropped her phone, her finger pushing one of the contact to call. But sadly her phone was face down so she couldn’t see who she called. She just hoped it was someone who would come… she did not want to mop the floor with Jun.

      “Jun. You need to leave-“ (your name) knocked some things off her desk, causing them to crash loudly to the floor. 

      “Meu amor you’re always trying to get me to leave. But I want to stay.” Jun pressed a kiss to (your name)‘s cheeks. His lips smiling on her soft skin. “It’s been so many years without you. They were some long years, don’t you know how lonely I was without you?”

     “Please. Not now. My students will be here soon.” (Your name) gasped when Jun pulled her into his arms. The young woman doing her best not to lean into his familiar scent of white rum, coconut, hibiscus, and musk. It was taking all of her will power not to bury herself into his chest like she used to all those year ago… 

      Jun smirked at her as she was trying to fight the temptation to lean into his touch. The pirate pulling her into his chest, his brown eyes observing her freeze up.

      “Your mother tried to keep us away from each other. I never abandoned you.” Jun picked her up by her hips, sitting her on the desk. His dark eyes staring deeply into her (eye color) eyes. “It took me awhile to get out of prison and I never forgot you. You were always on my mind.”

      “You’re lying-“ an envelope and picture were held up to her face. The young woman hesitantly taking the envelope and photo, a gasp escaping her throat. This was the picture Jun has taken of her at the docks before he left… she was smiling as she posed by his ship…the memories they had…

      (Your name) opened the old envelope and pulled out the letter, her eyes widening at the date. This was a week after he has disappeared… and it was definitely sent to her home… it smelled just like her house… her mother hid these from her… why would she do that? Didn’t her mother want her to get married?

       Tears gathered up in her eyes. How could she assume Jun had left her… that he would abandon her after all they’ve been through… she could feel the tears starting to fall.

      “I have all of them. I have your letters I had gotten from your mother and I have some of mine she didn’t throw away.” Jun grabbed (your name)‘s hands in his. “I promise you that I never abandoned you-“

      Jack entered through the door. His breathing ragged and his cheeks slightly flushed. His brown eyes widening at the tears on (your name)‘s face and her ex standing in front of her. The blonde quickly making an assumption.

    “Wait, Jack-“ The blonde lunged at the pirate who just barely stepped out of the way so the desk wouldn’t be crushed. Jun tumbling to the tile floor with a crash as Jack pinned him to the ground by his neck. The blonde choking him. 

      “You bastard-“ (your name) wrapped her arms around Jack, trying to diffuse the situation.

      “Jack! It’s okay. Let Jun go.” (Your name) slowly pried the blonde off who was practically foaming at the mouth. Jun was just laying there confused on what was happening. 

      “Are you alright? You called and I heard crashes so I came running.” Jack turned his attention to her, the giant man on his knees as he inspected her body. “No bruises? No cuts?”

      “I’m okay. Nothing happened, Jack.” Jack pulled her into his arms. His warm body and woodsy scent consuming her entirely. She could feel him shake a bit. 

       (Your name) cupped his jaw in her hands as she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. She couldn’t believe how fast Jack came to her rescue… how cute.

      “I’m just happy you’re safe…”

      “Hey can someone check on me too? I just got choked.” Jun held up a finger as he laid on the floor still. (Your name) slowly pulling away from Jack to look at Jun.

       “You look fine to me.” 

       “Meu amor! How can you be so heartless?!”

       “As much as this was a very eventful morning… I need you both to leave before my students come in. I don’t need anymore drama with the kindergarteners.” (Your name) chuckled as she pulled away from Jack. “We’ll have to discuss this later, Jun.”

       Jun rose up to his feet and glared at Jack. The Brazilian man sizing the blonde Canadian up. 

     “I’ll see you later then. Just keep your scary dog away.”

       “He doesn’t bite.” Jack flashed his titanium teeth at Jun on a mocking manner, the Brazilian man shivering.

       “Yes he do.”

._._._._._._._._._._._.

Author’s note: it’s been a very Baki filled day for me. But I still wanted to get a chapter done on my Quotev since I’ve been so busy with my tumblr. So thanks for reading!

[crystalsnow95z]

Sickie: Namjoon. Caretaker: ot7

Warning: vomit and anxiety attack

I'm not as happy with this one, but I decided to post it anyway since I put so much work into it

"5,6,7,8.." J-hope counts, the seven men redoing the chorus for idol for the 4th time that day. They have been rehearsing for the past five hours, and a Namjoon kept moving out of sync with the other members, his feet hitting the ground moments after the others.

He wanted rehearsal to end already. He hardly slept last night, and that morning, he woke up with a pounding headache. The medicine he took didn't make much difference. I'm just stressed because this is our last concert for a while. I'll feel better after hearing army cheering. I just need to get through rehearsals.

"RM, you need to move on the beat.." J-hope was in teacher mode, his usual kind smile not in sight. "We have a concert in two days and this is one of our most popular songs."

"I'm sorry, Hobi.. I'll get it this time.." Namjoon bows his head, not wanting to meet J-hope's gaze. Namjoon didn't tell anyone about his pain. They already had enough to worry about without him being added to the list.

J-hope motions for the track to be played again this time from the beginning. Everyone got into position, and Namjoon tried his best to do it correctly and was doing well until it was time for J-hope's rap. The quick movements from them continuously quickly moving from one spot to the next was making him feel nauseous. When he went to bend down, his stomach churned uncomfortably, threatening to make him sick.When he went to wrap an arm around his stomach, he lost his balance and stumbled into J-hope. Both boys ended up on the ground.

The music is cut off, and the other members rush to check on them, Taehyung and Jungkook rushing to Namjoon to help him up. Jimin and seokjin rush to J-hope. Yoongi just watches with worry in his eyes.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Jimin asks, looking from J-hope to Namjoon.

"I'll be fine.. Namjoonie, are you okay?"J-hope rubs his tailbone to try to ease the pain from falling, more concerned about Nsmjoon than himself. When Jungkook and Taehyung helped him to his feet he was unsteady on them, Jungkook not letting go of his waist.

"I got dizzy and lost my balance.." Namjoon admits.

"You've been a little off all day hyung, are you feeling okay?" Taehyung asks him. Namjoon wanted to lie, to say he was just a little dehydrated and would feel better after drinking some water, but the pain was getting worse as time passed and even the soft voices of his concerned members made him feel worse. He just wanted to lay in a dark room until the pain passed.

"I think I got a migraine.." Namjoon admits softly. "I don't think I can continue practice. I'm sorry guys."

"You don't need to be sorry, Hyung.."Taehyung takes off his red cap and puts it on Namjoon, trying to help block some of the light from his eyes.

"You shouldn't feel bad for not feeling well or try hiding it from us. We're a team. Your problems are our problems. We can work them out together." J-hope pushed away the guilt he felt for pushing him so hard that day, giving him a reassuring smile.

Yoongi leaves the group to go get water and ask staff for some medicine, and Jungkook helps Namjoon to go against the wall. Yoongi hands Namjoon the water, holding two pills in his palm. "If these don't help soon, I got someone to take you back home."

"Thanks, Yoongi-hyung.." Namjoon takes a sip of the water, then takes the medicine gratefully.

Taehyung takes a seat next to him. "You can lay down in my lap hyung." He pats his thigh. Namjoon takes up his offer, laying on his back and covering his face with his hat. He felt mildly embarrassed by this, but since Taehyung was always laying in his lap, it was okay to let him return the favor.

Taehyung rubs Namjoon's back, feeling the tension in his body. "Feel better soon, Namjoonie-hyung. I love you." He speaks in a whisper.

Namjoon makes a small finger heart, not wanting to talk. The other members got the message, and the practice room was quiet after that, and Namjoon was thankful. He knew how hard it was for them to be quiet for long. He managed to fall asleep, but it wasn't for long before the pain in his stomach got worse. He pulls his knees to his chest, wishing he took the time to eat that day. He could feel the coffee he drank that morning rise up his throat. He quickly sat up, putting his hand over his mouth. "I..I'm going to be sick.." He mumbled into his hand.

"Jungkook-ah get the waste bin." Taehyung says urgently.

Jungkook quickly gets the waste bin, Namjoon just barely holding it down long enough to wait for him. The sick burns his throat when it comes up, feeling like acid. Jungkook holds his hyung up, Namjoon shaking in his arms. His stomach tightens painfully, retching for what felt like forever, but he had nothing in his stomach left anymore. Seokjin rubs his back. "Try to take deep breaths.."

Namjoon takes deep breaths, the tightness in his body slowly melting, leaving pain behind. He had a side stich in both sides, and his stomach still ached. "I want to go home..." Namjoon hated that his voice came out as a whine.

"I think it's best if we take you to see a doctor.." A female staff member tells him.

"No, no. I don't need a doctor.. I'll be fine after I rest.." Namjoon tells her.

"You should at least get checked out Namjoonie." Seokjin insists.

"We don't want you getting worse.. please?" J-Hope looks at him with worried eyes.

Namjoon notices that all six boys wore the same expression. Taehyung and Jungkook looked at him with big doe eyes, Yoongi looked away as soon as Namjoon looked at him.

"You should just in case." Yoongi told him using a soft tone, and it was enough to make him give in. "Okay, Hyung. I'll go."

"It's just as I thought.. I'm pushing myself too hard, and my body can't take it."Namjoon groans, upset with himself. Staff escorted him home, and he thought maybe a warm bath could help him calm down. He sunk deeper into the water, sighing. Tomorrow we're going to the stadium. I need to be there for sound checks and to learn stage positions. Namjoon shook his head, trying to push the thoughts away. The thought of missing the rehearsal made him feel sick to his stomach.

He sighed in frustration, covering his face with his arm when he felt the pain intensify, making him feel dizzy. He tried a few deep breaths to try to calm his nerves, telling himself in his head it'll all work out. His breath came out in short gasps, and his body was shaking.

He reaches for his phone, checking his messages, and the group chat between his members was full of encouraging words.

Just focus on resting. I can handle things for you. Love you, bro.

Namjoon-hyung feel better soon. Love you.

I love you Namjoonie hyung. Don't worry about us. Just focus on getting better.

Don't forget to eat something before you go to bed. Even if it's something small. Love you.

Namjoon puts the phone back down at the side of the tub, calming himself. I have the best team I could ask for. He finally started to relax, getting out of the bath when he feels himself drifting off.

He tried to blow dry his hair, but it was too loud for him to handle. He opted to towel dry instead and went to his room to lay down. He checks his phone once more, and J-hope sent him a practice video, his spot left empty for him.

Everything is okay here. We'll be coming back after one more run-through. Rest well.

Namjoon felt relieved that the others were coming back soon. Watching the video sent, he could see how exhausted they were, even with them smiling and goofing off in the end. He finally falls asleep despite the pain he felt.

Namjoon hears the bedroom door open and a whisper, but he can't make out the words. He hears someone else whisper back, that person right next to him.

"He hasn't woken up yet.. Last night, when I checked on him, he was running a fever. I think we should go to the stadium without him." It was his roommate Taehyung who whispered back to the visitor.

A fever? I'm not running a fever. I feel better than I did yesterday, just tired with a small headache. If i take some medicine, I'll be fine.. I can't miss rehearsal.. Namjoon emerges from the blanket, looking at his two visitors. His head felt fuzzy at first, but after fully waking up he realized who Taehyung was taking to.

It was Yoongi and Taehyung in his room.

"Hyung, you should take it easy." Taehyung tells him putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him from leaving the bed.

"I feel fine now. I just needed a good rest. How did you get in here anyway?" Namjoon asks, trying to get the subject off of him.

"Ah, I got a staff member to help me.. I slept in here last night.." Taehyung admits. "We wanted to check on you.."

Namjoon was surprised at this. He didn't hear anyone enter the hotel room until now. He looked at the young vocalist, seeing the tiredness on his face. "Did you stay up all night Tae?"

"No, I fell asleep for a couple of hours. Don't worry about me. I struggle to sleep close to a concert anyway." Taehyung had to make sure he didn't add to Namjoons stress. "I just woke up when Yoongi-hyung texted me."

Namjoon looks at Yoongi, who had been quiet the whole time, holding a thermos to his chest. When their eyes met, he quickly looked away, pushing the thermos towards him.

"Is this for me?" Namjoon takes it from him.

"It's tea, to help you relax.." Yoongi tells him nonchalantly, though his cheeks turned the slightest pink.

"Thanks, yoongi-yah.." Namjoon tells him, giving yoongi a soft smile.

"If you really feel well enough, we should go.." Yoongi changes the subject feeling embarrassed. "Don't push yourself too much at practice, though."

The seven boys make it to the stadium, J-hope and Yoongi keeping a close eye on Namjoon. They go the stage first to see how much room they were working with, the stage lights making his headache return.

"It's bigger than I thought it would be." J-Hope says, running to the other side of the stage to meet with a staff member, bowing to them.

"Let's get our in-ears in so we can do a sound check." Namjoon tells the others. He wanted to get through it as quickly as possible.

"Okay, Hobi-Hyung! Namjoonie-hyung wants to go to the dressing room to get ready!" Jimin calls to J-hope, his voice echoing in the empty stadium.

J-hope gives him a thumbs up, and the staff member comes with him, leading the way for them. Namjoon puts a pair of blue in ears, taking his microphone from his bag. The others do the same, putting on their respective colors and placing the mic pack into their back pockets.

The three youngest members run to the stage, and test their mics, saying the first thing that pops in their mind.

"Ah, ah..Jimin mode...!" Jimin says into the mic, making the others laugh.

"Jimin mode.." jungkook mimicks him.

"Jimin mode." J-hope adds in with his own mic after catching up with them. "Did you see my bag Did you see my bag?"

The four boys start dancing to mic drop.

"I hope they don't burn all their energy before we even start rehearsal.." Jin smiles, watching the four of them dance.

"He's king of the mankaes." Namjoon was happy to see Taehyung messing around, ebbing away the guilt that he kept him up all night.

"Ayo ladies and gentlemen." Jungkook changes the song and the other members quickly get into position, using this as a sound check. Namjoon wished he chose a song that didn't have jerky head motions.

"Good job." J-hope praises them. "I'm surprised we did so well after not doing it for a while."

Namjoon smiles at J-hope's praise, but his smile doesn't last long. They have only been there for a half hour, but he was already feeling exhausted.

"Let's go through the set list to decide what songs we will do the full choreography for and which ones we will just sing or just do the chorus choreography." J-hope takes the leader role. Everyone agrees, and they get to work, making suggestions to the lighting, where they should take a break to talk to fans, and when they should make time for wardrobe change.

All the information spun in his head, making him feel dizzy. The members were full of ideas, and he tried to memorize all the changes they made. "I'm going to get some water." He made an excuse to walk away, not wanting the others to notice. He went to the edge of the stage, taking a seat. He closed his eyes, hoping the feeling would go away before the others noticed.

"Are you okay Namjoon-ah?" Jin asks, making Namjoon jump.

"Sorry. I needed to sit for a minute. I landed on my foot wrong during idol." Namjoon wasn't lying, but that pain already subsided.

"You should get it looked at by staff. I'll tell Hobi you go get checked out." Jin frets.

"Alright, I will. Thanks, Hyung." Namjoon saw it as an excuse to get medicine for his headache. He goes to a staff member and tells them about the incident, them taking him to a room to be checked over. The staff member finds a bruise on the side of his foot, which treats with a cold compress. "It's not a bad injury. You should be able to perform tomorrow since we caught it before it started swelling."

"Thank you." Namjoon bows to him. Jimin and Taehyung are looming in the doorway watching.

"I'm fine, guys.. It really doesn't hurt that much, I just wanted to be sure I'd be okay for tomorrow. I'll take medicine just to be sure." Namjoon gives them a smile. The other members don't believe them, but Namjoon motions for the staff to start again.

The rest of the day runs smoothly, using his injury as an excuse to take it easy, only going through the motions to be sure he moves in sync with the others. Even moving slower than the others, it was still taking a toll on his body, his energy drained before they even made it halfway through all the preparations. He was starting to actually believe he was running a fever. He felt chills go down his spine even with being drenched in sweat. I don't have time for this.. He runs his hands through his hair, slicking it back from the sweat that drenched it.

He could feel the others watching him, ready to make him call it quits if he showed any sign of it being too much for him, but he hid his pain well. I'll rest after we get through this. He doesn't make eye contact with them, just pushing through the routines, ignoring the knot forming in his stomach. After a second run-through of the whole performance, including the wardrobe changes, they call it a day, it already being seven at night.

They went into a room where staff had dinner prepared for them, and everyone digs in. Namjoon eats some of the rice and a few pieces of pork, but his stomach gurgled in protest. He gets up slowly to go to the bathroom, knowing full well that his dinner wasn't going to stay down.

"Where are you going?" J-hope asks, seeing that the color drained from his face, ready to follow.

"I just need to use the restroom, you stay and eat," Namjoon speaks leaving the room slowly at first then running when he's a few steps out of the room not even noticing Seokjin following him.

He finds the nearest bathroom, falling to his knees, emptying the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. It didn't burn his throat like last time, but the pain in his sides returned.

He jumps when he feels a hand on his back, relaxing when he hears the voice of the oldest vocalist. "Namjoonie, you should've told us you were still feeling sick. You could've stayed and rested instead of pushing yourself so hard."

Namjoon went to answer, but his body had other plans, continuing its violent attack on him, another round of sick coming up, his body trembling as he struggled to sit up.

"My poor Namjoonie." Seokjin coos, sitting behind Namjoon so he could lean against him when he finished.

Namjoon wasn't much of a cuddler, but he found comfort in being held by Seokjin. "I'm sorry Hyung, I thought I could handle it, I just wanted to get through rehearsals.."

"You don't have to keep trying to be the perfect leader all the time. You can lean on us too, you know. We would've filled you in on what you missed. When some of the members had to miss rehearsals during the Grammys, we still managed to put on a great show didn't we?" Seokjin scolds him gently.

"I know... I won't overdo it next time... I promise.." Namjoon was finally starting to actually feel better, leaning into the gentle touch of Seokjin stroking his hair. "I love you hyung."

"I love you too.. next time you pull a stunt like this, I won't be so nice." Seokjin teases him getting the first real smile out of Namjoon that week. "Let's get you some water and get back to the others."

[startseeingstars]

Delicate Destruction - Euronymous (Lords of Chaos)

CH14 🎶 Dancer in the Dark - Chase Atlantic 🎶

T/W - drug/alcohol use, mental health, mature themes

Krista and I sat, tv on in front of us, but both of us flicked mindlessly through magazines. We hadn't hung out in a while.

I'd found myself indulging in my depression, isolating myself. Erik had even noticed and tried to coax me out of my cave, but his efforts were short lived. I was getting restless now though, itching for something I couldn't put my finger on.

My dad walked through the front door, greasy hair hidden under his beanie as he juggled the keys and two six-packs of beer.

Tempting, I'd thought.

As if reading my mind, Krista put her magazine down and faced me.

"Get dressed. We are going out." She was firm. I shrugged and nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" She looked surprised. "You've been moping for months. I've asked you out so many times, begged you even."

"I'm ready now." I said simply. She grinned.

"About time!" She jumped up, grabbing my hand and leading me to my bedroom.

We walked into the unfamiliar house. Krista had been there before, but I had not. She'd always been the more social of us, even when we were growing up. I was usually the plus one, but I didn't mind, preferring it that way.

Quickly, she found Emil. They had been casually seeing each other for a while now, but she wasn't one to be tied down easily, though he seemed determined. Aksel approached as I watched them kiss hello. I gave him a smile.

"Hey stranger." He greeted me like an old friend, nudging my arm lightly with his elbow, beer in hand.

"Hey." We made small talk for a while, but he was kind enough to keep fetching me drinks. I definitely didn't mind. My aim tonight was to forget that I was drowning. I just needed some air.

We were chatting for a couple hours, people coming and going throughout the night, but Aksel and I remained seated together on a dingy couch in the backyard beside a heater. I leaned over and he placed a cigarette between my lips, cupping the lighter to protect the flame from the light breeze around us.

He smirked at me, lounging back in his corner of the couch. "What?" I laughed, unsure.

"Nothing. You're just adorable." He shook his head. I rolled my eyes.

Aksel was conventionally attractive, but he didn't do anything for me.

Maybe that was okay though. A distraction could be what I needed to move on from Øystein.

I almost winced at the thought of him. I'd been doing well to avoid him in my brain until then.

Krista came bounding out of the house, Emil trailing behind her. "C'mon!" She attempted to pull me from the couch but I was stronger.

"Where?" I laughed at her excitement.

"A club downtown. If we leave now we can get in for free." She beamed. I sighed and looked at Aksel. He shrugged. "Could be fun." He finished his smoke, flicking it aside.

"Alright, let's go." I said, feeling a knot of anxiety form in my stomach. I was outnumbered.

We arrived at the club. Luckily, Krista knew someone working the door and we managed to get in free of charge. We went straight to the bar, the boys following close behind. Drink in hand, I practically guzzled half of it in one hit. Aksel must have noticed because he raised an eyebrow, taking my hand and pulling me over to the wall.

Slyly, he fished something out of his jeans pocket. He took my hand as if he were going to hold onto it, but I felt him slip a couple of pills into my palm. I looked up at him and he gave me a wink.

"Something to take the edge off."

I was nervous, but fuck it, right? These had to make me feel better, surely. I glanced around before quickly swallowing them, chasing them with the remainder of my drink.

Aksel's hand found my back and he guided me to the dance floor to Krista and Emil. We danced for a while and I could feel the knot in my stomach transform from anxiety to excited energy.

Aksel and I laughed as Krista dragged Emil off toward the bathrooms. Emil glanced back at us, a victorious grin plastered on his face.

I motioned toward the bar and we got another drink each. He clinked the neck of the bottles together and smirked before taking a swig.

Suddenly, Emil was there, grabbing Aksel's arm. "We gotta go." His voice was firm and Krista followed behind him, giggling. I followed her gaze and saw that a security guard was ushering them out. Aksel and I quickly finished our new drinks and met them outside.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked Krista, wide eyed. She was still giggling.

"We got caught." She rolled her eyes, grabbing Emil's jacket and pulling him closer. I sighed. Great, I had this buzz - now where would we go?

[amazinglyegg]

Egg!!!!!!! I wanna kno. What companions you thing would smoke the za? Which companions would enjoy it or hate it or not wanna try it again?

Finally, now THIS is a good companions react!!!

Side note you almost got a "companions react to pizza" because I did NOT know what "za" was slang for. I was very confused on why companions would smoke pizza. I am not a cool druggie :(

Also also I Have Never Touched A Drug Ever so all my information comes from spying on my older sister and her friends "doing their homework in the backyard" when I was like seven. Enjoy.

Companions React to: Weed

Cait:

Yeah sure why not

Pre Benign Intervention she already does a shit ton of psycho so she wouldn't turn down weed

Post Benign Intervention probably won't continue though for obvious reasons

Not the type of person to make it her entire personality though

Codsworth:

Maybe???

Okay okay I know he can't actually smoke it BUT

It's not like they'd program a mr handy to snitch on their owner for slurping on the bong (is that what they do??? That's what it sounds like)

If Sole's having a good time with friends then Codsworth's happy to be the designated sober friend :)

Curie:

Will only try it if its edibles

Smoking is BAD FOR THE LUNGS and she's the type of person to smell someone smoking weed from across the road and complain about it

She is interested in seeing what being high is like and there's no real risks to it so she's down for experimenting

Probably won't do it again but she enjoyed the experience

Danse:

Medical use marijuana?? More likely than you may think

NOT a partier tho. Will take his One (1) perscribed gummy bear he keeps in his weekly pill organizer and frown at anyone who even mentions the number 420

Makes it surprisingly easy to sneak it past him tho. "I'm making weed brownies.... for medical reasons.... the baking helps with my anxiety as well. Don't eat them."

Deacon:

Oh yeah totally [lie]

You would 100% THINK he's the guy to smoke pot. He knows all the code words. He wears the weed shirts. He knows what "za" means.

But deep down he's a fraud

After getting clean from hard chems he really just does not want to touch any drugs or be around high people in general

His deep insecurities and fear of being abandoned as soon as he's unlikeable will leave him too scared to admit any of that though, so he'll end up smoking just to fit in if he can't find a good excuse to do otherwise

Desdemona:

Has probably done it as a teen and probably enjoyed it but won't do it again

She is too important to the Railroad to ever be inebriated

Unless Glory convinces her to take a break and then mayybbee she'll get high with her

Takes a lot of convincing though and will probably only happen as a celebration for destroying the Institute

Father:

Sole will blow smoke in his face and he will die right there and then he is Too Old

Gage:

Gage canonically doesn't like drugs but come on he'd smoke weed

Just a little bit. As a treat. Not the type of person to get ridiculously high for hours

Probably had a bunch of bad highs in the past and now is too scared to do it again around others

Hancock:

Not only does he enjoy it, he's like, Into It

Knows all the different kinds of strains and will shit talk your dealer if you show up with Low Quality Weed

Don't ask him too many questions or else you'll be listening to him explain the details of every strain for three hours straight

Maccready:

NO drugs are BAD and he needs to be a GOOD INFLUENCE for his SON

Ends up getting FOMO immediately and tries it.

Probably enjoys it??? Idk bro this is such a hard prompt I DONT KNOW WHAT WEED IS LIKE

Maxson:

I give up

Nick:

This comic is all you need

Piper:

Would try it if Sole gave it to her

NOT IN FRONT OF NAT THOUGH

Would enjoy it

Uses all the terminology wrong though

Preston:

Lets be honest he needs it

Probably won't like it recreationally and good luck getting him to a doctor so he can get it medically

But medical marijuana would be helpful for him pls get him some

X6-88:

He's a teen boy who's rebelling from his parents (the institute) for the first time so of course he tries it

Acts like he enjoys it even if he doesn't

Does this

Bonus Carrington because I have a good guess on who sent this ask:

[dantesunbreaker]

Why Do You Lie? Ch. 1/3

Daryl Dixon x Transmasculine Reader

I have this posted on Ao3, but I like having my work cross posted. This has some pretty heavy themes so be warned.

Trigger Warnings: Attempted Suicide, Mention of Transphobia, Mentions of Drug Overdose, Self Harm, Mental Illness

“I’ll go. Not like I have much else to do around here as of late,” you are already standing at the gates, bag slung over your shoulder. Though you hope your nerves aren’t too obvious as you shift your weight from foot to foot.

Daryl is walking his bike to the gates as Michonne is checking one of the cars to make sure it is fully stocked for the run they are about to leave for. Rick stands with his hands on his hips, frown tugging at his lips at expressing his unease at just the two of them going. An untouched pharmacy was spotted near a convenience store they had seen on their last run. If things work out as well as planned, another body would be more than appreciated to carry that amount of supplies.

“Not happenin’,” Daryl interjects almost a little too quickly. The look in his eyes is something you can’t quite place. “Ya haven’t been out here in weeks. Ain’t the time for you to be dipping your toes back into going on runs.”

You fight back a frown. You need to go on this run. Yes, it had been weeks since you last walked outside the perimeter of the prison fence. Incidentally, it also had been weeks since you ran out of the medication that allowed you to remain calm while on the outside. Plagued with depression and anxiety while living as a trans man, it had become of the utmost importance for you to constantly be on the lookout for clinics and pharmacies since the beginning of the outbreak. Always pocketing the few medications you were prescribed before was perhaps the only reason you have even survived this far into the apocalypse. Specifically, without the pills to combat your anxiety, you were unpredictable in a fight. A liability.

It had happened only once before, very early on after the initial outbreak. Despite your pleas, desperate attempts to convey your struggles without directly exposing your poor mental health, your first group put you on watch duty for the night. Had it not been for someone waking for a shift change, both you and your group likely would have not survived that night.

“Nah I think I agree with Y/N on this one,” Rick counters after a moment, giving you a firm clap on the shoulder. “He’s always been a hard worker. I say, if he thinks he is good for a run then let him go.”

“Thank you, Rick,” you beam, masking the guilt bubbling inside you for pulling one over on them. You know you aren’t fit to be out on a run, but you also can’t face the judgment that will come with the others knowing how nonfunctional you were without your medication.

Typical of Daryl, he lets out a grumble of disapproval but motions you over with a jerk of his head, scooting further up the seat of his bike to give you room. Whether he agrees with you coming or not, if you were coming, he preferred having you close to him. Always protective of you. Your relationship with Daryl was something you always dreamed of in the old world. Having someone you always felt drawn to, that was always there to rely on. Just, you often found yourself wishing it was as a romantic relationship that you shared with him.

“Looks like we’re all set back here,” Michonne announces as she leans over the open driver side door of the car. “Now do you boys want to keep arguing, or are we going to get out on the road before we lose the daylight?” “Ya good?” Daryl looks back over his shoulder at you as you straddle the back of his bike as it roars to life. At your nod, he signals to Michonne that you both are ready and now just waiting on her.

“Good luck out there,” Rick gives a final parting nod as he moves to open the gates.

Resting the side of your head against Daryl’s back, you secure your arms tight around his waist and hold on as if your life depended on it. Which in a way it does if you were to fall off the bike. Then they were rolling past the fences of the prison and down the street into the outside world. Your eyes close as you watch the prison slowly fade from your field of vision. Unable to see and the rumble of the bike being all you could hear you found yourself able to stay calm and relaxed. Anything to keep the anxiety at bay.

Focusing on the feeling of your arms wrapped around Daryl you relax into comforting warmth that radiates off him and bleeds into your own body. It has you lulled into a semi dream state as you think about all the times you wish that you could do the very thing every night in your bed. The rumble of the bike vibrates between your thighs and you instinctively squeeze Daryl tighter.

An hour passes before Daryl finally cuts the engine and walks the bike a few more feet before coming to a full stop. You open your eyes, not quite ready to leave the safety that is Daryl yet. But you know you can’t stay. Yards away you see the pharmacy. It is almost unreal how pristine and untouched it looks from the outside. No broken glass, no blood stained walls, nothing boarded up. This very well could be a gold mine of supplies.

“Alright,” Daryl waits for Michonne to park the car and step out before he loudly raps a knife against the metal doorframe.

Several silent seconds pass without anything emerging. With a satisfied nod, Daryl leads the way into the building. “Ya got your lists. Keep an eye out and grab what we need.” Then you are all splitting off to your own rooms to search.

While Michonne and Daryl each search their own rooms, you are behind the front counter of the pharmacy. Eyes scan bottle after bottle in search of a familiar name. A sense of shame lingers on your mind. You know you should be prioritizing the list of materials needed at the prison, but your desperation has grown in the last few and you needed this.

Finally you pluck a bottle off the last shelf, recognizing the name propranolol. It's what you took before the outbreak to manage your anxiety. Sometime ago you had finally run out on the surplus you had managed to accumulate before things fully went to shit. But you've had many close calls and struggled since then.

You are too busy with grabbing every bottle you can find of the stuff, you fail to hear the tell tale groaning and shuffling of a walker until it's too late. A rotted hand reaches through the shelves and grabs ahold of your wrist, face pressed up to the furniture and teeth snapping at your fingers as it pulls you near. A scream bubbles up in your throat but dies out before you can even make a sound. Tightness overwhelms and constricts your throat, leaving you on the verge of breathlessness. Everything in your body is screaming at you to run, to fight back, to do anything to survive, but you're frozen. The loud thud of your heart echoes in your ears and you think the force of it might cause it to burst from your chest. Teeth clack together over and over, each second getting closer and closer. Numbness creeps into your limbs as a sheen of sweat begins to cover your skin.

Only when you feel a tooth scrape against the nail of your middle finger do you manage to pull yourself from your stupor. While you can’t manage a scream, you let out what could only be described as a gurgling squawk as you brace against the shelf and try to pry your arm free. The shelf wobbles and shakes, various pill bottles rattling and skidding off. In the raging frenzy of over stimulation going through your mind, you know that you should be pulling the knife from your belt and driving it into the walker’s brain.

Time seems to go in slow motion. As you give a final tug at your wrist, the flesh of the walker’s hand gives way and slides off with you as you pull your hand to your chest. But then your world begins to shift. You are falling. It is as if the air has been sucked out of the room, silence echoing in your ears as the shelf before you follows your path to the floor. Your back hits the floor, shelf pinning you to the ground as the walker lumbers towards you. Teeth are again snapping at you, this time merely inches from your face.

Closing your eyes, you accept your pathetic death. You feel foolish for even thinking you had a chance out here without the aid of your medication. Freezing up in this new world means death for you or for others. Hands pull and grab at your chest, ripping and tearing to get at your heart before nails dig into the muscle and constrict. Awaiting the end seems to go on forever. The feeling of teeth ripping at gnawing at your face never comes, only the pain at your chest that radiates down your limbs.

Prying one eye open, you gasp at the sight of the walker’s nose being a hair’s breadth away from brushing against your own. But instead of snapping at you like a wild dog it simply stares into you with cold lifeless eyes. A droplet of blood drops onto your face. It takes a moment for your eyes to focus and see the arrow tip just barely protruding between the walker’s eyes.

“What the hell was that?” A voice full of anger filters past the ringing haze in your ears. “Tryin’ ta get yourself killed?”

Wide eyes turn to scan your surroundings, catching sight of the fuming archer standing at the edge of the room. Daryl lowers his crossbow to his side as he approaches. The arrow is pulled from the walker’s head in one swift motion before the body is ripped off from the shelf. In any other moment you would be drooling over the display of finesse and strength as Daryl one arm lifts the shelf and stands it back up. But your eyes are instead glancing down at your chest, surprised to see that your chest has in fact not been ripped open as you thought. It was just the harsh grip of anxiety that had been clawing at your heart.

Michonne comes sprinting into the room, sword at the ready until she sees the threat has already been dispatched. She stays by the door as Daryl is suddenly crouched down at your side roughly checking you for bites when you refuse to answer him. Your panic stricken eyes stare into the crystal clear oceans that are Daryl’s eyes, wishing that the words would just flow out. But anxiety still has a hold over your voice. When he finds no injuries, Daryl lets out a harsh grunt of a noise as he spies the bottle that is still clenched tight within your fist.

“What’s this shit?” He reaches over and plucks the bottle straight from your hand, turning it over to scan over the label. It’s not something he recognizes, nor is it anything that Hershel had put on the list as needed medicines. “Ya gonna answer me or not? Riskin’ your life for some stupid shit we don’t even need? Coulda got yourself killed! Coulda got one of us killed! All so you could what, get your fix or somethin’?” The bottle is thrown back onto the floor near your still crumbled form.

Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, your mouth flapping open and close like a fish out of water, but you mentally kick that part of your brain as you attempt to push back the hurt bubbling up as you are at the mercy of Daryl’s anger. Why wouldn’t he be mad? You just put not only your own life in danger. You risked the success of this run. Why wouldn’t he jump straight to thinking this was some idiotic excuse to try and chase some fix, seeking to get high as a kite. Your mental health was not something regularly shared with anyone besides Hershel on the rare occasions you couldn’t come down from an episode alone.

“Ya best get back to doin’ what we came here for,” Daryl’s voice was low and seething, an unspoken warning in his words as he rose from the floor and turned away from you in one swift and smooth motion. A strike of fear hits you in the chest. While unsure if Daryl would actually do anything to hurt you, you really weren’t keen on finding out. Then he was out the door once more. Wide fearful eyes jerk over to see Michonne looking at you with a sad smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. The sword is sheathed as she steps over some of the various bottles spread across the floor.

“You alright?” She crouches down beside you, a reassuring hand resting your shoulder, waiting for your signal that you are ready to stand back up. All you can give is a numb nod of your head as you focus on getting your breathing back under control. “Can you tell me what this is all about?”

Unlike Daryl, Michonne is calm and patient with you. Only when you are the one to make the move to stand does she push in closer to help you back to your feet. The ache in your bones from both the fall and your episode doesn’t fade, but the constricting feeling in your chest lessens to the point you think you can manage once again.

“Sorry... sorry,” you mumbled as you dust yourself off. Michonne still keeps a comforting hand on your shoulder until she knows that you are stable. “I uh.. I uh.. froze up. Let my guard down for just a moment and the walker got the drop on me.”

Frantic eyes search the ground to find the bottle Daryl had carelessly thrown back to the floor, still desperate for your medication no matter how the others may judge you. Just as you spot it and reach down, Michonne grabs it first. Controlling the brief spike of anxiety that wants to hit, you take a deep breath and await for another lecture.

“Do you have a heart condition?” There is no malice in her voice as Michonne stands, placing the bottle into your outstretched hand. It comes as a surprise that she knows anything about the pills in question.

“Uh... well no,” you frown, turning the bottle over in your hands before stuffing it into your bag with the other bottles you found. “In a way, kind of but not really. It’s for... for the anxiety. I used to take it... as well as a few other meds to deal with... with the mess that is my brain. Just I.. ran out of this one a few weeks back. Sort of why I haven’t been going on runs.”

Michonne gives you a soft hum as a response, clapping you on the shoulder before she moves past you to go back to her own search. “You know,” she pauses at the doorway to speak but doesn’t turn back to face you. “If you give us a list next time, any of us would be more than willing to look for you. You are important to this group. Especially to Daryl.”

Without waiting for a response, she is out of the room, once again leaving you to dwell with just your own thoughts. As much as you know that it may be true, that the group sees you as an important member, that you were one of them, it’s hard trying to convince yourself you actually believe it. Just like it’s hard for you to think you are anything special to Daryl of all people. You’ve harbored a crush on the archer from nearly the moment you first saw him.

Though you had quickly established a friendship with Daryl, you could never think that maybe you meant something special to him. You weren’t even sure if he was interested in men. Or if he was interested in men, if he would even be able to fully see you as such. But especially after what just happened, there is no way that Daryl could see you as anything more than just another mouth to feed and a liability in the world beyond the fence. With a heavy heart, you pull the list from your bag and begin to search the shelves once more for the medication needed for the prison.

[puffpasstea]

Help!

A/N: here’s an overly specific SATELLITE blurb about a situation I’m currently dealing with. Except, despite my best efforts, I don’t currently live with Harry Styles, so my thing in real life has a slightly different ending. Mostly writing this for myself, not gonna lie, lol. But I hope it can bring someone some comfort too.

summary: Alice can’t get her antidepressants and shit happens. This is the unglamorous, unromantic side of mental illness. warnings: mentions of mental illness, prescription meds, Harry being a supportive partner. —

I pushed my bangs off my forehead, dotting moisturizer onto the outlines of my face and rubbing it in. I could hear the faint sound of Harry’s singing, downstairs, in the kitchen. He’d clearly made it to The Beatles playlist, which means he’s making breakfast.

I need somebody (Help!)

not just anybody (Help!)

you know I need someone

heeelppp!

I closed my eyes, smiling, as I listened to him belt out alongside John Lennon on the speakers. He’d been on a Beatles kick lately. He and Mitch were rediscovering the Lennon-McCartney hits, but they got all flustered and weird whenever I said that their partnership was kind of similar, minus the years of toxic rivalry. this new found obsession gave me comfort, thought. It’d become something of a routine for Harry to listen to the same songs every morning. I loved hearing him sing along as I got ready for the day and tracking his activity by the song that he had reached.

I opened the medicine cabinet and reached for my morning meds. The bottle felt light, I was running low, so I made a mental note to call my psychiatrist later today. ———

Help me if you can, I’m feeling dowwwnnn

and I do appreciate you being ‘rounnndd

In the kitchen, Harry hummed to himself, flipping the omelette in the pan, and gyrating his hips the way he usually did onstage. He was still in his sweaty running clothes, but boy did he look good.

I stood in the doorway, watching him, and wondering how I got so lucky. He was perfect. Harry turned around, getting startled when he saw me, but not for long. The surprise immediately gave way to mischief. He smiled, raising an eyebrow and dancing his way towards me. With his body facing mine, he reached a hand behind him, turning the stove off, and then wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. “Dance with me.” He demanded.

“W-what?” I laughed, kissing his lips. “You stink” “C’mon, Matilda, dance with me.”

Won’t you please, please help meee?!

—

I wasn’t the kind of person to congratulate herself very often, mostly because I always found faults within even my biggest accomplishments, but I must admit, I was proud of myself this time. for managing to remember the refill I needed, getting over my anxiety long enough to schedule the follow up without any external help, and even making sure it would get refilled while I still had a few pills in my older bottle. In all my years of being on antidepressants, this had never happened. I usually put off making the calls because of how anxious they all made me, waited until the last possible moment, when I was one pill away from running out, and then having to pay a whole lot of extra money for some temporary pills to tide me over. But, it appeared Harry’s encouragement and support were starting to rub off on me. For once, I had my shit together. Or so I thought. "I’m sorry what?! What do you mean you have no record of the prescription? No, it’s fine. I’ll call my doctor. Thank you.”

just my luck. I felt heart racing in my chest. My breath quickened, my hands felt clammy. I can’t do this…

—

“honey, I’m homeeee!” Harry’s voice announced in the distance. As always, he was back from his morning run and would probably want to make breakfast soon. I ran back upstairs and jumped into bed quickly, shutting my eyes and pretending to be asleep. Moments later, Harry walked in. “oh, she’s asleep.” He whispered to himself. He made his way over to my side of the bed, pulling the blankets over me and tucking me in. The scent of his sweaty workout hung in the air as he leaned over and gave my forehead a quick kiss. I’m a horrible person for lying to him…

—

“Babe? Hand me the salt please?” My hands shook as I reached into the spice cabinet and grabbed the salt container. I waited a moment for it to steady before turning towards Harry, but it was too late. He’d noticed. “What was that?” damn him and his attention to detail. “what was what?” Maybe if I pretended not to know what he’s talking about…

“Your hands are shaking. Look! Do you seriously not feel that?” The salt container slipped out of my hand and went crashing into the ground.

“fuck!” I jumped as the shards of glass hit my leg. “you alright?”

“yes, god! I’ll clean it up okay? Let it go already!”

Harry frowned, staring at me, no doubt confused by my overreaction.

I rushed to the broom and began to busy myself with cleanup, trying my best not to focus on the fact that Harry was still fixated on me.

“what’s the matter, Alice? Talk to me.”

shit. Now he wanted to talk.

when I said nothing, Harry walked over to me and grabbed the broom, prying it out of my hands and setting it aside. “Look at me. Why won’t you look at me? Alice! What’s going on with you?”

“nothing.” I whispered, barely loud enough for Harry to hear. “it’s clearly not nothing, baby.” His hand cupped my face, gently tilting it so my eyes would meet his. “Is - is this about the other night? Cuz, if it is…you know, I don’t care about that…it’s no big deal!”

“the other night?” It took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about. “Oh, god, no! Harry, no!” I pushed his hand off my face, turning away from him, and tiptoeing around the glass remains of the salt container to find a seat at the dining table. “so, you couldn’t cum. Big fuckin deal. Happens to the best of us! It’s no reason to be embarrassed, really.”

“Oh my god, shut up, Harry, will you” as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized how rude I was being. “Sorry.”

Harry followed me, taking a seat next to me. He had clearly run out of things to say, so he stared at me expectantly, awaiting some kind of explanation.

“I, uh, look,” I cleared my throat. “Headaches, anxiety, dizziness, nausea, uncontrollable shaking, flu-like symptoms including chills and body aches, irritability, difficulty getting and maintaining arousal….” I was out of breath and positively blushing. So, I paused, looking away from Harry’s intense gaze. His brows furrowed, shaking his head in confusion.

“these are all symptoms of withdrawal.” I said matter-of-factly.

“sorry, withdrawal?”

“from my antidepressants.”

“you- you haven’t been taking your meds?” His expression had now changed from confusion to concern.

“I haven’t been able to!” The frustration that I’d been refusing to confront for days now bubbled to the surface. I exhaled loudly, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

“Why, why not?”

“I’ve run out….and, I don’t know. I called my doctor. She said she sent the prescription over to the pharmacy, but-“ I was full on sobbing now. harry, to his credit, jumped right into action, pulling me out of my chair and onto his lap, rubbing my back. I let myself cry for a second before catching my breath and speaking again “every time I call the pharmacy they say I need to tell her to do it again. And, I- I tried. Her secretary doesn’t- she doesn’t-“

“breathe, baby, breathe.” Harry squeezed my shoulders gently.

“I keep trying to explain to her, but she doesn’t get it. And I’m so bad at this confrontation thing…I get so anxious and….”

I buried my face into Harry chest, sobbing like a child. He sat there, completely still except for the hand that continued to rub my back soothingly.

“honey, why didn’t you say anything?” He finally asked when my cries had died down.

“it’s embarrassing, Harry! It’s, like, so dumb. I should be able to do this one thing by myself. I didn’t know how to tell you that I’d failed to obtain a simple fucking refill.”

“‘S not dumb-“

“oh but it is!! Why would you wanna be with someone who can’t sort out her own problems and cries all over your clothes at the most minor of inconveniences. How exhausting is that?!”

“Baby, this isn’t minor.” The hand that had been rubbing my back suddenly stopped. He used to to pull me away so he could look into my eyes as he spoke. “Alice, you need this medicine to function. How are you supposed to sort it out on your own if literally you can’t function? Hmm? This isn’t like your vitamins or whatever. Miss a day and it’s no big deal…this is like the biggest deal!”

hearing him explain it made everything sound logical, in my head, though, I felt like a helpless idiot who could get dumped for mentioning it out loud. “does that make sense? Plus, it’s what I’m here for. You can tell me these things, baby. I can help. I can call on your behalf and sort it out.”

I nodded, wiping the stray tears in my eyes with the back of my arm. “Guess I just don’t know how to ask for help, sometimes.”

“It’s simple, really, you can just say ‘help! I need somebody…help! Not just any body’” I rolled my eyes, shoving my elbow into his chest.

Harry laughed, continuing to sing. “Help! I need someone. heeeelp!��

“alright, John Lennon. I get it. So, could you please help me?” “it would be my pleasure.”