#some i reread and cringe cause i feel the writing is so bad

[kaistarus]

Hey I read your fics (even the BNHA even though I haven't seen it yet) and they're all so great!?!

I've been looking for someone to who writes about nishinoya bcs that little man has an unexplainable hold on me and the way you write is just SO comforting and fun to read!

I have a couple of drafts in my word document but its been such a long time since I've last written sth and mostly it was only ever for myself to read, so I'm a bit nervous to upload anything.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you start writing and eventually posting it online?

I hope you have a great day! :)

Thank you so much for this!! :) It really got me thinking tbh lol

I've just always loved writing. I'm literally always writing. I write small things on my notes app, word doc, notebooks. I probably have twenty-thirty fics I'm too lazy to edit or just not satisfied with enough to post and a ton half-deas/random dialogues in my notes app lmao

I've read a lot of guides/articles on my own. I know my weakest areas, so when I'm reading books I pay attention to those sections to learn

I think I started posting because some of my ideas gave me a lot of emotion when I wrote them. I thought if I felt that way someone else might too and that was worth sharing. I mean, I had so many ideas for Noya and he had WAY less content. I felt like I could fill a void for people like me with brainrot at the time lol

idk if it gets less scary haha I'm always nervous. But even if people hate it, I know I'll love rereading it which is worth it

I hope this was what you were looking for and not me rambling about nonsense lmaoo

[smolwritingchick]

Ah ok! Update and Three Smol Previews for Bangtan Gal :)

Okay, good news, I am hoping to post the wrestling chapters tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. It's almost done. Gonna let that be for a bit after I post and continue focusing on Bangtan Gal. A few chapters are boring imo but the later chapters have more drama.

Also, good news with Bangtan Gal, the second chapter I plan to post, MAMA Awards 2016 is done. I just need to reread and edit.

It's 18,000+ words. I...went overboard. I am so sorry. I don't know how to stop. I guess pace yourself?? I had a lot of ideas and it kept flowing. It's MAMA Award heavy and I was writing about people's reactions.

I have to split the MAMA Awards chapter into Part 1 (A big moment happens) and Part 2 (Jennie's response to Hyuna) because I can't fit all my words in one Tumblr post. (It's THAT bad lmfao this never happened to me before. I have a problem)

So I will link both parts of that chapter in the author's note and masterlist when it's uploaded. You'll also see the links at the end of the chapter to continue reading or to go back to read part 1 of that chapter.

All I need to do is work on is the chapter before. Which is The 3rd Muster chapter. It shouldn't take too long. Once that's done and edited, expect those two and a half chapters to be released together. Thanks for your patience! I hope the writing isn't too crazy with what I have planned.

I truly liked the ideas I came up with :)

Here's another smol preview for the MAMA Award chapter. Three Smol Scenes.

------

The day of the MAMA Awards was finally here. The day Jennie anticipated the most. She had a good feeling about this show and was excited to show off her hard work with what she had planned. The morning of the show, she decided to tweet one simple word along with an eyebrow raising hashtag.

'Bet. #GonBeAnInteresting24Hours #Jen' 

Jennie had been a trending topic on Naver and various K-Pop news outlets, which caused people to anticipate the MAMA Awards even more to see what might happen and if she may respond to Hyuna. Her silence on the matter had been a hot topic and now with her tweet going viral, fans stirred in a frenzy.

-------

With the show getting ready for the next segment, Jennie suddenly received a few packs of smarties from Jungkook.

"How'd you know I was about to ask?" she happily accepted them with surprise in her voice.

"I brought some with me just in case. I was paying attention to your facial expression. When you're about to ask for smarties or say that you wish you had them, you make this cute face. It's like you're pouting,"

"What? I was not pouting..." She turned away, feeling her face warm as he giggled.

"You just did it again,"

"Stop looking at me," she playfully pushed him away, making him laugh harder.

------

Suddenly, Hyuna had changed some of her lyrics, not looking Jennie's way as she danced.

Not a high and mighty girl scout in the club behind some fake bulletproof glass. How boring.

Some idols widened their eyes while others glanced over to where Jennie sat.

Yet another diss? This was getting out of control.

Bam Bam cringed and glanced at Jennie with worry, hoping she'd be all right. Hayoon frowned at the diss and shook her head slightly.

However, Jennie only smirked as she continued to watch, knowing that all eyes were on her to see how she'd react. Bangtan glanced at her and as she met their eyes, she gave them a nod. They nodded back and remained calm as they continued to watch the performance.

Suddenly a switch flipped in Jennie's demeanor as she rolled her neck and stared at Hyuna.

'This bitch got me fucked up...' she thought as she kept her cool.

Fans tweet:

'Not again!! Enough already!'

'Is she trying to provoke Jennie?'

'Don't be mad if Jennie catches her in an alley to stomp that ass!'

'The neck roll! I repeat! The neck roll! Jennie just did the neck roll! That is BAD! She got something planned! Get ready!'

'I don't like how she's acting. This is bullying at this point. Hyuna needs to chill,'

'Jen better than me because I would have ran on stage and popped her shit,'

'From the looks of it, Jennie is so bitter and jealous,'

'That smirk means business. I'm not ready,'

'I wish people would stop judging Jennie,'

'Jennie looks like she's plotting,'

'Why does she look so hot when she's upset?'

'Bangtan knows something that we don't because they don't look bothered at all,'

'Bangtan isn't even phased?! What is Jennie planning tonight?'

[thus-spoke-lo]

Happy belated birthday, Lo~! I hope it was a good one~!

Quick question: I used to run an imagines blog back in 2015-2016 until personal issues got in the way and I had to take a step back. Recently I've been considering starting it back up, so I went through my old stuff and just... *cringes* 😬

Have you ever gone back to reread old works and nearly die from the embarrassment of how bad it might have been? Cause it's so friggin horrible and discouraging how OOC and poorly written my pieces were that I psych myself out and wanna delete the blog altogether. 😭 like, is that a normal feeling?

Hi anon, thanks for the birthday wishes! <3

And I totally get that feeling. I was reading through some ~poetry~ I wrote in high school/college recently and wanted to yeet myself into the sun with how cringey it was. But I also saw shades of my current writing in them! Certain things like repetition, imagery, etc, stood out to me and it was cool to see little seedlings of the way I write today.

I think it's normal to be a little embarrassed by how we used to write, draw, etc, and there's nothing wrong with that. I am of the mind though that sometimes preserving those works until you can start to move past how you feel about them is worthwhile--ex. privating the posts vs. deleting the whole thing altogether (I have a couple of fics that are still up on AO3 I think but that I privated here because I just don't like the way they're written). Ultimately it's up to you and you should do what makes you feel the most comfortable, but sometimes it's good to see how far your creativity has come, and maybe even find a thing or two you actually did like. <3

[mysicklove-main]

Is there anything else you wanna rant about with “your new pack” ?

u just want me to make-out with u don't u 🙄 🙄🙄

but yes sure i can talk for hours, especially since im working on the next chpt currently. (might take bout a week to post tho considering im so busy)

for everyone else not reading this fic, I will post your requests and other stuff after i finish the next chapter!!!

to begin with, i dont know how the hell to make everyone have equal amount of time shown. I want everyone to like all characters, but i accidentally write way more for specific characters than others which is unfair i feel to my (very fictional characters who dont give a fuck) boys. for example, think bout how much we see Keigo compared to Izuku. Its just hard to do it with 5 different ppl so.

I want to rewrite all my beginning chapters bc I feel like i rushed it thinking it was going to be a short story. But here i am, 79k+ words in and the beginning i feel is so so so bad. like i can't even reread it bc i cringe. but i am also so lazy and rlly dont want to rewrite it lol so i just pretend it doesn't exist.

comments, mean way too much to me. Like all writers i love getting a notification that someone commented on my fic, but now its getting to the point where im like, "damn this chpt didn't get many comments, did i do something wrong?" so that's embarrassing and i def need to chill and be grateful for what i have. Im working on it.

Eijiro, Izuku, Shoto are so fucking hard to write and Katsuki and Keigo are so easy to write. Its so strange that im struggling with Izuku, bc he is my favorite, but im trying to show that he is a little fucked up from his past but I also dont want to write him as super quiet. Idk i feel like i kinda brushed off his trauma and i didn't mean to. so that sucks. with Eijiro his actions are easy, simply cause i wrote him as someone to be very touchy and affectionate off the bat. plus he talks alot so. but his internal thoughts are so fucking difficult to write. like what are you thinking bout?? you know she is your mate, but he is trying to get his best friend to get with you. it is so hard. Shoto is the complete opposite. I dont know how the hell he would react in different situations, bc he is more quiet out of the boys, but I want to also show that he is also trying his best too. his deranged thoughts are easy to do, but everything else is a wreck. i think he is the hardest to write for by far.

speaking of shoto his character is so inconsistent. idk if ppl notice, but i do. in the beginning his is more obsessive and has the most negative thoughts. he kinda crazy, u feel me? now, i dont write as much of his creepy perverted thoughts. i just kinda forget to. so now he feels kinda bland and i need to figure out how to bring back some excitement back to his character. maybe this chapter ill go back to the creepy, obsessive, thoughts. it was so fun to write. this all goes back to how hard shots is to write.

I switch perspectives alot and I hope ppl understand what's going on and who is thinking what. I think I have a mix of second person (obvi, with the "you") and 3rd person. bc i narrate others reactions to the situations, and kinda treat Y/N as a character in the story, not as your self. does that make sense??? idk.

since hybrid stories are my fav, i would like to write more, but in different scenarios. for example, another Y/N x Wolf! Katsuki fic, but this katsuki would be a diff one from the other wolf katsuki in Your New Pack. Like i did with the Bunny! Izuku Headcannons. That izuku is diff than Your New Pack one. but would ppl be bored of it?? ik i will never lol.

i wish i could post a poll on who ppl like the best on ao3, just bc im curious who has the most fanboys. (it would prob be keigo tho lol)

i got bored of katsuki wearing the muzzle in the house, so i just trashed it. def poor writing thing to do, but idc at this point, it would throw off my plans for chpts if he was always wearing the muzzle.

sorry i talk alot, but hey u asked for it.

[captainaikus]

Uh hi. I've never done something like this before but all I wanted to do is that I wanted to tell you how incredible your works are. It's amazing and tbh it makes me inspired to try make works of my own which probably won't go well since I lack the courage and motivation. I'm sorry for what happened to you earlier with that person being so quick to assume but overall I just hope you're all cooled down from what happened earlier. That's all, I just came here to tell you that. I hope you're doing okay and healthy both physically and mentally/emotionally? . Also as a reminder, pls remember to stay hydrated and eat at least something don't starve ahaha. Uh yeah anyways hope you for the best. 💕💗

-Anon 💙 (uh I've never done this before so pls don't uh mention my mistakes if there's any. I didn't reread this—)

Hi hi pretty! ٩꒰｡•◡•｡꒱۶

Tags : talks abt depression, mentions of coping mechanisms, and basically the reason why i started writing here

Thank you so much for reading my works! You have no idea how much it means to me to know that i inspired someone to write; even if my image isn't looking the best rn- but that's one of the faces of being a writer of any kind.

As for the writing part. So, I've been on tumblr for over four years, reading for the first three and posting things in the past one. The first post i made was a post regarding a Bakugou work and it was nsfw. I was really scared cause it was the first time i had done something so bold and i lacked the courage for it but i really wanted to get my work out there. and cause i was determined to, i decided that i was gonna do it. it wasn't the best back then cause i had no sense of a writing style- and now that i think about it my writing style was cringe. i have the mind to take those works down, but that is a sign of how much i worked to get here. from barely making a 100 likes, i made 200, crossed 300 and so on and have a lot of followers as well.

but for me it was never about the likes or followers i got, it was all about what i wanted to do and there is a whole list of that - some of them being that i wanted to make something self indulgent (yes i still read my tears, your comfort esp aiku's part before sleeping on bad days and i'm making more works) or could be because i wanted to get an opinion out here as a way of expressing myself; but most of all it was creating content for you guys. Cause i know a lot of people comfort on tumblr. and when i wasn't doing so well in my later teen years, i took to tumblr to comfort cause it was healthy coping mechanism - and reading things here had always made my day. and i wanted to do that for someone.

I know that the first move always seems scary, there will be trips and stumbles along the way, there will be times when you feel sad about not getting likes or the drop in followers or have a rivaling author/ writer, times when you have your idea stolen- as it has happened with me before. but that shouldn't stop you; now my writing is purely for the purpose of self satisfaction and the itch of writing an idea that can make someone's day.

That's my motivation and rather than forcing an idea, it is best to let it come to you naturally and taking your time with it. Enjoy writing the fic and it really shows in your work. don't sweat the details, that comes with the more you practice. and if you need advice or writing tips come over to my side blog or ask away here. I'd be happy to help! (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)

As for how i'm doing? kinda sleepy. Happens when i'm emotionally stressed out or having my blood boil from something someone said. As for the anon, i got one sentence : jumped to conclusions too early and even tried to interrogate me And since i wasn't having any of it, cause i don't have to prove myself to anyone, i deleted it - like this person doesn't even know me and were quick to assume things abt me; and decided to sleep over the fic and move onto the next best thing - making more fics and enjoying it cause i am not gonna let someone behind an anon affect me ꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ ‹3

I had a sub sandwich with water and listened to ice cream by heiakim to cheer myself up ૮ ෆ ´ ˕ ` ෆ ა

i know this thing isn't permanent and it shall pass- but thanks for dropping in! Do you want an anon in case you want to come back an just rant or talk? whatever you want really ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡

[mengyao]

6, 11, 12, 16

6 - what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?

anwered!

11 - Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

not to my knowledge, and hopefully it'll stay that way. I was three or four chapters into posting FOOWD when there was some fairly heated discussion on mdzs twitter about transfem NHS headcanons, but my work was never explictly brought up in those conversations, to my awareness (I didn't follow them super closely), and no one brought anything up to me. it was just something I heard about, and I was aware of the concerns expressed going forward and factored them into my choices.

I am honestly surprised that I've never encountered people saying negative/transphobic things about that fic specifically (not in the context of the above conversations, just in general), and I'm sure someone out there has, but they've kept it out of my line of sight.

12 - What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

I can write in most environments that are relatively quiet, or if I have headphones and no one's in my business. my ideal is either at home at my desk with leftovers so I don't have to stop and cook if I get in the zone, or in a boring public place -- a library or a cafe, but I've done a lot of writing on ferry trips where I'm sitting somewhere for an hour and a half on my own. I get a lot out of mutual accountability/co-working, so I do that with my roommate a lot. one of the benefits of home is being able to cycle through spots to keep things feeling less like I'm clocking in for my wfh job or something. I'm lucky to have a place large enough to do that.

16 - Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

I reread my stuff all the time! I write things because I want to read them, which is why my back catalogue is both idiosyncratic and internally consistent, lol.

It is true, though, that I don't usually reread things I wrote pre-2018, apart from a couple specific works, because it's largely quite bad and I get too distracted by the cringe to enjoy the stories.

[avpdgirl]

Let’s be honest clear. It’s been about 15 years I’ve written some fic. And last night I started write some fanfic. And it hurts. It hurts mentally and even physically. I started writing it in my native language and my feck’s sake!, it is so unbelievably bad!!! I cringe every time I reread these few pragraphs I already manage to come up with. That words I used feels bony and ugh! Even stupid AI “writes” better than me now. First I wanted to start write in english but I convice myself that it would take me longer cause my vocabullary is shet BUT I am bad to come up with the right words in my native language too!!!! I am just doomed. I was always a poor speaker but my writing skill was so smooth and beautifull when I was kid and teenager. Guess my best friend, creativity, was just coping skill when I lived in that traumatic household. And now I am adult in my 30’s, with own flat, without social activities, with work I am no longer happy in, with relationship I am no longer happy in and without all that good coping skills. Just reading stupid fanfictions all day long (I am sorry, they are perfect I want to cry, I am just venting), in constant daydreaming state, frustration level above the 100 when I am not allowed to do that. LOL even this text feels better than my open file with that fic…

[wildgeese-badideas]

Is it cool if I ask why you’re completely deleting instead of orphaning? I feel like that’s a good way to feel less connected to something you feel is cringe, while keeping it available to people who liked it and may not know to find you on tumblr to preserve it.

I for one really like Homemade Mess. I think you capture Craig being bad at emotions and the kind of small scale things they’d probably disagree about. It’s cute. It’s fluff adjacent. It makes me feel good.

The thing is…this is South Park. Being in this fandom is cringe (hence why I’m anon lol). Maybe my standards are just low (but tbh I don’t think they’re *that* low) but if every good author in this fandom (like yourself) fully deleted a few things they didn’t personally feel were their strongest, we’d have almost nothing left. The sheer amount of scrolling I do before finding something readable let alone good enough to bookmark lol

Anyways thanks for bringing so much great writing into the world. And sorry is this comes across like overstepping (I truly don’t mean it to). And thanks for all the fics

Oh my gosh so so sorry for the late response! I was dying over a fic and rushed to messaging without noticing the ask notif. Anyway, totally fair question! I get where you’re coming from, but if my stuff is deleted (they’re actually in a private collection so they don’t show up on my homepage but I can still see them if I want to), I feel like I can still revisit it at a later date? Like I can always decide to rewrite it or use phrases/paragraphs/descriptions I liked in those fics for new ones. Versus if I orphan them, I lose all claim to my work and I can’t rewrite/copy without it looking like plagiarism.

I definitely don’t wish to cause annoyance or frustration, though, since I’ve also been devastated by deleted fics as a reader. But one of my favorite authors gave a heads up before deleting so we could save stuff and I always appreciated that, so I thought this was a good compromise? Like I’m totally fine with sending people copies so they can reread whenever if it’s a comfort fic. It’s just that some fics have me caught in this weird in-between of being icked out but I don’t necessarily want to cut off ties just yet in case there’s a way I can make them suit my current style more within the same premise.

If you like Homemade Mess in particular I can definitely take a look at rewriting/editing that to reupload soon instead of deleting. I’m open to redoing anything, it’s just that the “under construction” fics are the ones I was actively already working on redoing.

I hope this makes sense, and I’m really sorry for any discomfort that has brought you! Thanks for even caring about my fics, it means a lot and I don’t wish to demean that support or anything. You’re totally in your right to ask this, and I’ll think about editing Homemade Mess and Buttons, since those are the only two ‘permanent deletion’ fics that I wasn’t going to just combine with an upcoming fic.

Lots of love 💕 sorry for the inconveniences 💔

[pocketramblr]

Stupid ask but how do you even start writing. Like how do I get it out. It's like I've spent too long hesitating now I'm physically incapable of getting any of it out. Am I stupid for thinking about it? Would it even work? Would anyone read it? Love your work btw, you're awesome (and honestly really smart maybe that's why you'd answer this) !!

Not a stupid question! Trust me, I teach high schoolers, and "but how do I actually start?" is never a stupid question. Usually when you can't start there's some block, for lots of different reasons- lack of inspiration, too many options, executive disfunction for many possible reasons... Lots of causes, and everyone's different, but it sounds like your biggest cause is fear- that no one will want to read it, that youre stupid. So first of all, yes someone will, and no you're not. It's normal to feel this way, and it is scary. But this isn't one of those scary things that can kill you, so remember that and try your best.

There's a niche out there for everyone's kind of writing! Did I ask myself "Huh, Pocket, does anyone actually want to read about Rei and AfO being Shoto's parents?" No because the answer would have been 'uh probably not what's wrong with you' but! Then after I wrote it! People read it! My friends ready it! And most importantly: I have fun reading it.

You're the most important reader of your writing. Now, I'll admit- my fanfics from back when I was fifteen? Ah. I do not really enjoy rereading them! Cringe! But, I know that fifteen year old Pocket had so much fun writing and reading them, and she deserves to have that as much as current Pocket does, or ten years in the future Pocket. So write for current you- other versions will figure out their own things.

Anyway, I try to be helpful, so here's a few things that help me when I can't start writing either:

Start writing something else. Starting new ideas usually gives me a hit of serotonin, and then after a scene or two sometimes I can take that energy and inertia and move it to what I want/need to work on in the first place ideas.

Talk to the writing about someone. Bouncing ideas around, answering their questions about it, picking random scenes that grab interest, brainstorming dialogue, even thinking about different possibilities and aus of it- all of that counts as writing. You're thinking about the story and shaping and developing it, so it's writing. Sometimes this leads to ideas that you can just paste onto your blank page and keep going, writing "for real.". It doesn't usually work that well for short term me though. Personally, it helps me long term- knowing someone else is interested in reading when I'm done, but not judgemental, helps in general to get started writing other times.

"five four three two one go" this I hear helps with ADHD, which can cause the block? The idea is you close your eyes and visualize what you want to start with- a character, a scene, a statement, a vibe, whatever- for five seconds, counting done. As soon as you hit "two", start writing. Open your eyes on "go." This might help you if you just need a push to start

Write it a different way. Your first draft doesn't need to be good. Put "bad version" on the top of the page if it helps. Bullet points instead of sentences, that you can flesh out later. Write just what people are saying, like a script, and block out the moments on the second write through.

[b-na]

MOSQUITO

PAIRING: karina x gn/afab!reader

GENRE: fluff, angst?, some smau

WARNINGS: none

DESCRIPTION: karina doesn’t know how to handle her best friends attention belonging to someone else.

WORDCOUNT: 736

a/n: this is a flashback. this was so much fun to write. obviously this is from karinas point of view. i hope u like it as much as i enjoyed writing it. this has quotes from the english translation of ‘Mosquito’ by Red Velvet

Y/N and I were like two peas in a pod for years and years until they met her. Gaeul came into my life and crashed what I had built. Y/N was my best friend and now they’re spending all their time on her. You’re shattering my peace, this isn’t like me at all.

‘When I Was Young’ blasted through my speakers in an attempt to block out the feelings gnawing at me. Trying to come up with an excuse to hangout Y/N was hard enough without Gaeul coming in the way and it’s just becoming increasingly harder by everyday.

I hear my phone vibrating from the place on my bed I left it in before my scheduled appointment with overthinking.

As soon as I see their post of Gaeul I can’t help but feel jealous. That should be me. Y/N used to post stuff like this about me and now it’s all Gaeul this and Gaeul that.

“i may need a lyrics sheet but i don’t need a Love sheet” Who even says that? So incredibly cliché. What’s even worse is that I have no actual reason to hate her. She’s beautiful, talented and kind and all I can respond back with is “That’s so cringe.”. That in itself is cringe. Y/N is lucky to have her besides, we’re just friends after all.

A couple of days pass with the same routine of self pity. Y/N seems happy so as their best friend I should be happy for them too, right? Well that’s easier said than done. Every time I see Y/N I feel fuzzy and warm. Butterflies swarm in my stomach when they laugh, just thinking about their smiles brings a small one to my face.

You make me wonder what our relationship really is. Do I like you? If Gaeul wasn’t in the picture, would you like me? This isn’t fun will you stop. I wish things were back to normal. I yet again hear my phone vibrating. I get up to check the cause of the small noise and see what I, to my dismay, have grown used to seeing.

“day with my ☀️”

“always so much fun with you<3”

I read and reread the two simple sentences over and over again. My head is spinning with the sentence.

“Always so much fun with you”. That’s right. It’s always her. So much fun with her. This is a one-sided ticklish relationship and I’m sick of being the one without someone who loves me.

I decided that sulking around wasn’t going to get me anywhere and that I desperately needed a “me” day. I walked to a small area close to my neighborhood. Cats riddled the streets as I made my way down them. When I arrived at ‘Moonlight Melody’ I ordered a brown sugar boba and sat down in a lounge chair with only a small table and a mirror close to it.

If Y/N was here they would say ‘This mirror is perfect for selfies’, just the thought immediately sends me into action. I feel silly posing for my photos alone in public but that doesn’t hinder me. Suddenly I hear my order being called as I was finishing up taking photos. I pick out my favorite selfie of the day and swiftly take a picture of my chilly drink, maybe boba wasn’t the best beverage for November weather, and I post them on Twitter.

Reading the words “my bestie💗” shouldn’t hurt as much as they do. That’s what we are, best friends. I close my eyes trying to shut out the world. Why does being in love with someone hurt so much? As I drift to sleep I can’t help but wonder how you always come and annoy me yet I still can’t get you out of my mind.

As December rolls around my mood starts to lighten up. I’ve grown accustomed to seeing Y/N and Gaeul posting on social media platforms. December should be filled with joy and candy canes not laying in your bed all day. This time when I get their notification I don’t feel as bad.

Perhaps I should tell Gaeul her hair looks nice, or like her comment about dyeing Y/Ns hair next. Or maybe I’ll stay salty a little longer besides, they don’t know if I’ve seen the post or not.

The simple question sends shivers down my spine, have I been that obvious? I toss my phone to the left. I should’ve just stopped there.

←prev. masterlist. next→

SYNOPSIS: Y/N has been in love with her best friend, Karina, for the past 6 years. They had basically given up on the idea of Karina ever liking them back. Suddenly this changed after a beach day with their best friends.

TAGLIST: @chaewandz

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Alabasta (Part One)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

(this is a repost, i deleted the first version of it by accident cause im Idiot)

the entry into the grand line is such a great sequence. it feels like such an ending- a triumph after they’ve spent pretty much all of east blue struggling to make it here, and at the same time the beginning of a new adventure, the biggest yet, one that has yet to end a solid two decades later. they all look so happy to have made it here- it makes me smile.

whiskey peak is one of my very favorite short arcs, and i think of the whole first half of the baroque works saga its the one that hits and maintains a tone best (almost certainly because its so short, admittedly, but still). i love the repeated shots of the moon, the reveal that the cactuses are actually covered in graves, the way everything seems far too good to be true at the start and the sense of suspense that creates.

zoro’s extended fight scene in whiskey peak is so great- it’s so creative and so dynamic and the odds are stacked so high against him and yet he’s clearly having so much fun. i do miss this sort of scrappy, improvised fight, cause its largely absent from later one piece but its SO much fun to read- zoro cutting holes in rooftops for people to fall through or shoving ladders to the ground as bounty hunters try to climb them.

i’m a huge fan of fight scenes that use the environment to their fullest, and this is such a perfect example of it. it makes the fight feel a lot more real and exciting, in my opinion.

i’ve never liked zoro and luffy fighting at whiskey peak, its always struck me as frustrating and contrived and kind of out of character for both of them, but i will say that i do like how on the same page they are even when they’re trying to kill each other.

the entire first half of the baroque works saga basically serves to introduce and endear us to vivi so we’ll be invested in the alabasta conflict, and that starts here in whiskey peak, when we get our first glimpse of her actual personality rather than the act she was putting on as miss wednesday, when she bites her lip hard enough to bleed in order not to break down at igaram’s apparent death.

watching robin’s actions with the added context of later one piece is one of the great joys of rereading alabasta. she does a fantastic job of appearing to be crocodile’s most dedicated and capable and dangerous employee while quietly but consistently sabotaging his efforts; saving luffy, sparing pell, sparing igaram, not telling crocodile anything about the strawhats despite meeting them here at the very start of the saga.

little garden has some really cool and striking panels that really put the scale of things on the island, the dinosaurs and giants alike, into perspective, and i love it.

i’m a huge fan of the depth of in-universe lore one piece has. just having little details like this, quotes from books written in-universe, go so far towards making the world feel like a real and wondrous place with mysteries to be solved and details to be uncovered.

i still think sanji is firmly at his best when he’s being a sneaky bastard, and i will never cease to be delighted by how thoroughly he manages to fuck crocodile over with nothing but a phone and some quick thinking not once but twice.

i really like dorry and brogy! for minor characters who’ve only appeared in one relatively minor and inconsequential arc so far, they’re not only very fun and memorable but also leave a hell of an impact on the story, not only in usopp’s new dream of eventually visiting elbaf but also in how they and their crew just keep coming up, first in enies lobby and then even further down the line in dressrosa and whole cake island.

i’m really excited for when we eventually get to reach elbaf, because this plot thread has been so thoroughly and subtly built up over such a long time that i can’t wait to see how it ends.

this is one of my favorite little moments to really drive home how much the strawhats care about each other. they all fell asleep on the floor rather than leave nami alone.

the whole introductory scene to drum is a really good summary of who vivi is as a person and how she contrasts with luffy, and it’s something i’ve written extensively about in a past meta. here ill just settle for saying, vivi is chronically selfless, and always the sort of person to sacrifice herself for others, and these traits which save the strawhats here are the exact same ones that bring her and luffy to blows later on in alabasta.

a good thing to remember when writing characters is that traits aren’t really inherently good or bad, they’re just traits and can have positive or negative consequences depending on the situation, and i think oda is really good at this. vivi’s selflessness, usually a positive thing, becomes reckless self-sacrifice when she’s pushed to her breaking point.

‘kindness begets kindness’ is a pretty consistent theme throughout one piece, though luffy is most often on the other side of it. someone (rebecca, law, tama, etc.) does something for him without really expecting anything in return, and gets paid back a hundred times over. this is a case of the opposite- luffy helps someone offhandedly, and is later saved by their gratitude.

i think luffy wearing his fingers bloody as he climbs the drum rockies is the only time one piece has ever made me cringe back from the page. this sequence is absolutely brutal, and it’s so well-done.

the way luffy decides chopper should be his crewmate is precious, and also reminds me a little of his recruitment of sanji (ironically, given he’s talking to sanji about chopper here). in both cases he sees someone do something good without even really knowing the full extent of their abilities and makes a snap decision that they are awesome and are gonna be part of his crew, no matter what they have to say about it.

i really, really enjoy the way the drum island flashback is set up, with the cutaway right as luffy is about to punch wapol’s lights out. the cut back to that punch finally hitting when the flashback ends is by that point infinitely more satisfying, since you’ve just read chopper’s backstory and therefore have a deep and abiding desire to see wapol eat shit.

hiriluk’s final speech is definitely one of the best and most memorable quotes from one piece, and effectively the crux of one of its biggest themes. one piece is all about inherited will. all of our main cast and a solid percentage of the supporting cast bear the legacy of at least one forebear on their shoulders, from kuina to corazon to otohime. the entire setting of the story is defined by roger’s legacy.

all those people are dead, but they’re sure as hell not forgotten- how can they be, when their legacies are actively shaping the world as a direct result of their lives and influences?

i really, really like the use of flags in one piece. flags are how you declare loyalty or war in equal measure, and flying a pirate flag is a declaration that you’re choosing freedom, come what may, over the laws of the world government. it’s just a really excellent running motif, and a great symbol of what one piece’s definition of piracy means.

this scene is also one of the ones that gets even more extra weight behind it when you know luffy’s full backstory with sabo, which i love.

chopper’s recruitment scene sums up one of the reasons luffy is really great. he just doesn’t care about a lot of things other people would normally take notice of. occasionally that gets him in trouble, but other times it leads to him responding to a situation exactly right, like here. chopper is listing off all his insecurities and reasons he can’t go with the strawhats, and luffy just flat doesn’t care. he wants chopper on his crew and he knows chopper wants to be on his crew, so as far as he’s concerned, there’s no issue at all.

it really is wild that the will of D is named this far back in the story, and has consistently been referenced and built up ever since in very slight ways, through comments by characters like robin and corazon, and yet we still know basically nothing about it.

and a toast to a new crewmate!!

continued in the next post, which covers alabasta arc proper.

[yellowloid]

Ok, for the Deep Writing Ask meme: 10-12, and then 14-20?

(it's fine if you don't feel like answering all of those, btw. Pick the one you like the most out of them in that case ;D)

i don't know if you meant, like, some of them or ALL of them- sorry if i got it wrong lmao, i'll try to be as concise as i can [edit: i failed]

(also some of these i've already answered so i'll just do the other ones)

10. How has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

man, i just like how liberating it feels. when i was younger i used to write mainly for fun, but now after i got past years of writer's block i rediscovered just how freeing it really is. it's fun, sure, but it's also like you have all these thoughts running through your brain and you just feel the need to write them down, free yourself of that tangle of ideas by giving them a coherent form. it can be challenging, but it's the most satisfying thing to know you've created something from scratch, and even if sometimes i'm a bit harsh on myself when it comes to my writing and i can be like 'wow this suck balls' (which does not positively impact my mood, nor my mental health 😅), i'll just keep going from there, because it's even worse if you *don't* write, you know? (this sounds so dramatic lmao i'm sorry)

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

no, not that i'm aware of

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

i mean, i think it's normal to do it? it comes automatically when you write and also read, especially in a fandom environment where each story is different, but characters and tropes stay the same. so you get to see what someone made of a specific trope, or how they described something, or how well they developed the characters' relationships - and you can't help but feel like you could never do it that way, and it can be a bit disheartening. there are some writers whose writing is so good and it seems so effortless, iykwim? like it just flows out naturally and beautifully, while you're over there stressing over a single sentence. but just because you don't see their writing process doesn't mean it's not there, and they're probably stressing over the exact same things. i think in the end we're all in the same boat 😅 also for me when i compare myself to other writers it's because i just admire their writing so much + reading great stories motivates me to keep writing

15. How do you think your writing has improved over time?

i don't even know where to start, like obviously it's not perfect and as i said earlier i'm actually the biggest judgmental bitch when it comes to my own writing, but one thing i think has improved a lot ever since i started writing fics (and especially with my most recent ones) is my ability to have patience. i'm the most impatient person ever so for example when i have a specific scene in my head i just want to get to it- but i also realise i need build up, and side information, and everything else that will lead to that scene and blend into a proper fic. i've been getting better at just giving my writing time to reach the desired destination without rushing to it

16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

yeah, i love rereading my old fics even if some of them make me cringe so bad, especially the ones in my native language (in my defense i was really young when i wrote them hahah). but it's an endearing kind of cringe, like looking at younger me and telling her 'you go girl, you have absolutely no idea wtf you're doing, but you're doing it and you're having fun with it so it's alright'

the more recent ones i reread for comfort every now and then!

18. Do you only write when you’re inspired, or do you try and sit down at specific times and write no matter what?

i try to sit down almost every evening after dinner and write as many words as i can, i like having a routine

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

what i said for question 10 about crafting something completely from scratch, no matter if it's good or bad, or if it's the most self-indulgent thing ever written, it's still writing and it's still a form of art and i really love that. also the fact that sharing it online allows other people to enjoy it, and to know something i've created and that brought me joy can also potentially put a smile on someone else's face is completely mindblowing to me. like, most of the time it's someone who probably lives on the other side of the world and somehow, some way, now they have some kind of connection to you thanks to that silly story you put online. to know that you can have that positive influence on someone, to be connected to other people while expressing yourself and telling stories - i think that's the greatest thing that comes from writing.

than you so much for your questions 💖

[rainbowbutterfrosting]

The Revived - Chapter 20: Some Light Reading

This is chapter 20 of the Dream SMP multichapter fic @dramaticsnakes​ and I wrote together! I hope you’ll enjoy!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Ghostbur

Word count: 4,137

Cw: A lot of pain, inflicting pain, tensions between characters, food/eating

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

It was not an entirely pleasant experience to wake up, lying on the floor with his leg in a strange elevated position. In fact, he wouldn’t have been entirely convinced he’d woken up at all, if it wasn’t for the wave of pain bursting through his head. It was pounding, and his vision was blurry enough for him to almost believe he was sitting on a chair, blindfolded again.

There was no one around to punch him though. Just a huge empty bunker, and a smell of scattered paper. He didn’t have the slightest clue what time it was, or for how long he’d slept. As he squinted at his surroundings, there wasn’t the slightest hint of natural light. Just the torches above him.

There was silence.

“Ghostbur?” he said, his voice hushed.

“Oh! You’re awake! Good morning.” The ghost’s words were quick, though tinted with relief. There was something exhausted about them too, however. Wilbur got up from the floor, crawling back to the chair. He sat down on it, getting a better view of the room. “How are you feeling?”

Wilbur cracked his neck, stretching his arms. “Wonderful,” he said.

“Actually?”

Wilbur tensed up, closing his eyes momentarily. He took a deep breath. “No. Not really.”

There was a sigh from Ghostbur, but it wasn’t one of annoyance. It was rather melancholic. Relieved, perhaps. “Yeah… Me neither.”

While the words weren’t exactly good news, Wilbur’s lips curved up just slightly. Perhaps it was just the honesty. There was something silent and intimate about the words, breaking through the silence. The mutual pain. Not that that was too comforting in the long run. “Shit, my head hurts,” he noted, not necessarily to anyone but the empty room, placing a hand on his forehead.

“Mhm...” Ghostbur said, and everything indicated he was feeling it too.

They sat there in a less uncomfortable silence, Wilbur’s limbs heavy, as he looked at his bandaged leg. The regeneration potion had helped quite a bit, he realized as he tried to move it, but he still doubted he’d be able to stand on it confidently. He noticed some dryness leftover from a few tears right underneath his eye. He froze. “Ghostbur?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you… If I cry, do you feel it?” It was a risky and perhaps vulnerable question. The mention of the tears only seemed to make his head pound more. For a moment he was almost thankful everything was far too blurry for him to think properly.

“I don’t know.” Ghostbur said, with far more nonchalance than what was probably deserved, “My face often burns anyway.” He paused, as if he only just then realized what he was saying, “I mean, that’s okay though! It doesn’t feel so bad when it’s on the face anymore.”

The words sent an unwelcome shiver down Wilbur’s spine. He went quiet for a few breaths, unsure what to say. I’m sorry, he felt he should say, but it didn’t taste familiar enough. I can help you, he considered, but he realized it was yet another empty promise. Thank you, he wanted to say, but it was far too vague, and far too broad, and he wasn’t thanking Ghostbur for feeling pain. None of it sat right with him. He shook his head. “Is there anything you wanna do?” he asked instead. 

Ghostbur let out a breath. “What can we do?”

And wasn’t that an excellent question? Wilbur closed his eyes.

“Should we… Should we find someone?” Ghostbur asked.

Wilbur looked at his leg. He looked to the books, filled to the brim with information. He looked at the food readily available to him. He bit his lip. “I… I don’t think it’d be safe while my leg is still healing.”

“Oh, right, right,” Ghostbur said, sounding mildly disappointed, but it wasn’t too noticeable.

“There are some books we could read,” Wilbur tried, feeling as if it was a bit of a weak offer.

“I like books,” Ghostbur said, and Wilbur wasn’t sure if it was entirely sincere or not. Then, the tone turned softer. As if a pleasant memory passed by. “I used to write books.”

“Really?” Wilbur asked, tilting his head.

“I had a library! I wrote things down, and I read all the history books I could find. Tried to organize it all,” Ghostbur explained, sounding a little more excited at each word.

As Ghostbur spoke about it, Wilbur found some faint memories in the back of his mind. Organizing books, and writing down new information. Searching for something. “Did you like history?” Wilbur asked, and for an absurd moment he felt like an actor, asking someone if they enjoyed their latest movie. He huffed at the thought.

“I did. I tried to figure out what you did when you were alive. Everyone looked at me in different ways, and I-” he trailed off for a moment, “I don’t know, but I did enjoy reading.”

“I wonder if there is anything you wrote in here,” Wilbur mused, trying to ignore his own curiosity. 

“I don’t think so. Most of them were destroyed when-” He abruptly stopped talking, the last syllable sounding strained.

“When what?”

“My head hurts,” Ghostbur simply replied.

Wilbur slowly nodded, not quite sure what to make of the lack of an answer. “So… To pass the time, how about we read some books here? We can find some information about the revival too, and try to figure out how to get you- how to free you, in the process,” he looked at a different spot in the air, realizing there was nowhere to make eye contact with the ghost. “How does that sound?”

“Okay!” Ghostbur said, “That sounds good.”

He could finally get started on the work. It was something Wilbur was itching to do. He was itching to occupy his hands and his mind with something. His mind was still simultaneously going at thousands of miles a second, and carrying thousands of pounds with each thought. He needed something tangible. Something he could keep in his grasp.

At first, he grabbed the nearest book on the shelf. Quite a big one titled “Governments and Communities of History”. He almost dropped it as he held it in one hand, but he shakily moved it over to the table.

“Governments and Communities of History,” he told Ghostbur. He flipped inside and into the table of contents. He skimmed most of it. It started with the beginning of everything and continued to list political parties that he vaguely recognized. He flipped towards the end, hoping to find the knowledge he missed over the months he was gone. His eyes lingered onto “Eggpire” as he flipped to the corresponding page. 

He cleared his throat, “Ready, Ghostie?”

“Yep!”

“This section is about the Eggpire. ‘The Eggpire is an alliance between BadBoyHalo, Antfrost, Punz, Ponk, Hannahxxrose, and Skeppy.’ Huh, I don’t really know most of them. ‘The alliance was formed on January 14, 2021 between the founders, Bad, Ant, Punz and CaptainPuffy. However Puffy is the only founder to leave. She joined Anti-Eggpire (also known as Pro-Omelette) due to a disagreement in views.’” Wilbur chuckled as his head throbbed in response, “The second name is way better.”

Ghostbur made a sound of agreement. Just as Wilbur was about to read again, he had a realization, “I think this is the same Puffy from the flower shop, but I’m not sure.”

“I think so.” Ghostbur paused. “I mean, I can’t imagine a lot of people are named Puffy.” 

Wilbur nodded, “Good point.” He took a breath before continuing, “The keystone of the alliance is the crimson red egg located in Badboyhalo’s statue room. The Egg is meant to be a source of chaos and a way to subdue the rest of the server. Despite the Eggpire being formed as a military coalition by Bad with Ant, Puffy, and Punz, most members of the Eggpire have joined due to being corrupted by the Egg.” 

Wilbur cringed, “Are they that bad at commanding that they couldn’t genuinely recruit people? Wait- where did the egg even come from?”

“I don’t know. Maybe there was a big red chicken that laid the red egg?”

Wilbur exhaled out of his nose to resemble a laugh, “These guys are fucking losers, who else tried to resemble me while I was gone?” 

He flipped to the beginning of the book as Ghostbur chided him, “Language.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes, but his headache seemed to worsen from the action, “Pardon my French, I speak it like a bitch.” Wilbur smirked to himself as he heard Ghostbur’s upset noises.

His eyes glossed the table of contents, as he barely focused on the words. He exhaled sharply as his mind settled on L’Sandberg? No- that couldn’t be right. It was L’Manberg and it was long gone. 

He flipped to the page to verify it, before seeing the text that he mumbled out loud, “L'Sandberg (formerly L'Puffyberg and L'Puffberg) is a nation created by BadBoyHalo weeks after the end of the Eggpire.” It oddly reminded him of himself. Starting L’Manberg then creating Pogtopia because it was taken away. L’Sandberg was even named in an odd reference to L’Manberg, perhaps he would have to check the place out.

He was about to read the next part as he reread the previous lines. A strange familiarity ran through his mind. “I’ve heard of this Badboyhalo guy, but there’s no way he’s the same dude that would create a nation along with a cult-y alliance.” The only person he could picture as he read the name was a demon that dressed in red and black. He saw him bumbling around the streets with a blue man with shining skin. 

While they’d had small conversations before, he wasn’t even a hundred percent sure about his name. Part of him wanted to call him SaintsofGames, which he assumed might’ve been his actual name, or perhaps an older title.

He tried to imagine the friendly demon who cooked muffins on Saturdays being a general, but all he got out of return was the throb in his head to increase. “Have you ever heard of Badboyhalo?”

Ghostbur thought for a moment, “Yeah, I think Tommy mentioned him once? I don’t really remember all the details though.”

Wilbur hummed, “He seems neat.”

“Wilby?”

Wilbur looked up from the book and into thin air, “Yeah?”

Ghostbur whined out, “My head hurts.”

Wilbur nodded, but winced as it somehow worsened the headache. “Mine as well.” 

“Do we got any… I don’t know what it’s called but it’s sweet drink.”

At Ghostbur’s words, Wilbur’s stomach growled. “I don’t know, but I’m gonna see if I can find something to eat.” Wilbur faintly chuckled, “That’s probably why I’ve got this killer headache.”

Ghostbur made a small hum of agreement as Wilbur awkwardly realized that he would have to walk to get food. He moved from the chair, hissing in pain as positioned himself to stand on his uninjured leg. He slightly toppled from the unbalance, but didn’t have too many problems staying steady. 

“Alright, I’m gonna warn you now that it might hurt.”

Ghostbur’s voice was laced with panic, “Wait, what are you doing now?”

“Don’t worry too much. I’m just walking around in the bunker,” Wilbur reassured. “My leg still hurts so I might fall or something.” 

Ghostbur sounded displeased, “Okay, just make sure to be careful.”

“I will.” His eyes searched the room for possible food. He smiled as he remembered the carrots and melons growing downstairs. That smile quickly faded when he thought about the idea of stairs.

He hopped over to the general direction of the stairs, occasionally stopping to maintain his balance once again. At the final step he nearly stumbled, but caught himself just in time by grasping at the nearest wall. He was reminded of the exhaustion that followed his trip to Phil’s house when he’d just returned. It seemed like ages ago by now. He tried not to let the thought linger.

His leg ached slightly as he limped along to the crops. He licked his lips, as he looked at the melons that only served to remind him of his hunger much more. It occurred to him that it had been a while since he last ate. In fact, he had no clue exactly how long it had been at this point, the amount of sleep he’d gotten remaining a mystery to him. Instead of dwelling on that, he reached down at a melon, carving it into several pieces. He didn’t do a particularly great job at it, but it hardly mattered. 

He saw himself down on the nearest chair, eating each piece at an impressive pace. The sweet taste seemed to get to his entire body, working almost as many wonders as a potion would.

For a strange moment, Wilbur wondered if the water in the watermelon would cause any harm to the ghost. He couldn’t hear any screams nor pleas, which was fortunate. Being able to consume anything at all was most certainly a plus. To be fair, if the water there was enough, saliva likely would too, and that was a can of worms that Wilbur didn’t have the brain power to consider even the hypothetical of.

Once Wilbur had devoured the entire melon, he felt just a little more at ease. He felt less dizzy, and his body and mind seemed more connected than before.

While the throbbing in his head had ended, he noticed the pain in his leg. He closed his eyes for a small moment as he tried to think of a solution. He did all the medical treatment he really could at this stage. He fiddled with the rind of one of the melons before he realized he could make a potion of instant health.

Attempting to start a drug empire turned out to be helpful after all. 

He ran through the materials he needed in his head. Netherwart, blaze power, and a glistening melon. He stood up but his vision swarmed with black spots for a few moments. His stable leg shook as he leaned against the wall. It stopped seconds later, but he was filled with exhaustion that told him to forget about the potion.

Yet, he hopped to a chest near the farm. It wasn’t far away, but the action by itself seemed laborious. He shuffled through it, but found nothing of use. He hopped over to the stairs, quickly grabbing two nether warts from the farm before he started going up.

It was a long process, but he eventually made it up the stairs. He took a shaky breath as Ghostbur chimed in, “We’re still in the bunker right?”

Wilbur nodded, “Yeah, back up the stairs.”

“So are we doing more reading?” A slight boredom filled Ghostbur’s voice, but Wilbur couldn’t tell if it just arrived or if it had been there for the whole day.

Wilbur hopped to Tubbo’s chest before leaning against the wall once more. “Makin’ potions.”

Ghostbur softly gasped, “Oh, I’ve never done that before! I saw Phil and Techie doing it once though.”

“Sounds neat,” Wilbur responded, half-paying attention while looking through the chest. He pushed around some of the items in there before finding three blaze rods with a few stacks of cobblestone shuffled around. He spotted the crafting table next to the chest and he quickly melded the items together into a brewing stand. He held the brewing stand normally as he put the spare blaze rods in his coat pocket. 

He closed the chest and opened the one next to it. Twenty iron ore, random concrete blocks, and miscellaneous mob drops. He was about to close it when he saw a yellow shine under some rotten flesh. Wilbur let out an exhale of relief, “We’ve got all the stuff we need.”

Ghostbur excitedly clapped, “How do you make potions?”

Wilbur put the brewing stand down on the crafting table. “Well, you start with oh fu- n! Fun, fun, yes.” He didn’t know why he censored the swear in front of Ghostbur, but it somehow felt better than letting out a curse. “I forgot the glass bottles.”

“That doesn’t sound very fun.”

Wilbur let out a dry chuckle, “You’re right.” Wilbur thought for a moment, “There might be some in the chest next to that cauldron.” His eyes ran over the cauldron that he didn’t even know was filled or not. He pursed his lips. His uninjured leg was shaking slightly, but he didn’t exactly have another option. Well- he could always suffer. Yet that would mean the suffering of Ghostbur as well. 

He didn’t exactly care about the ghost, but he generally preferred not hearing his pleas. He quickly hopped over to the cauldron, only to collapse at the wall behind it. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing to any possible deity out there that there was water in the iron container. 

He swung his hand inside the cauldron, not daring to look inside, as if the water would disappear if he did. He felt water about half-way into the swing as he smiled. However, the instant he did that, he heard a cry of agony in his mind that instantly made him open his eyes and recoil, immediately taking his hand out of the water. “Ghostbur what’s-” Ghostbur’s previous words ran through his mind quicker than he could even process them.

It- Water burns me. I’m sorry I just didn’t expect it.

As regret plagued his mind, Ghostbur’s whimpers followed alongside them. The whimpers that reminded him of his agreement with the ghost.

W-warn me next time?

Sure.

Although he hadn’t intended to hurt Ghostbur, guilt overtook him. “Ghostbur, I-” forgot about the really important thing that hurts you if I forget! I just don’t care about you at all!

The familiar cynicism made him externally cringe. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I- I know. It- it hurts, Wil.”

Wilbur somberly nodded, “I know, I can’t do anything about it right now.” Wilbur hated how pathetic his words sounded.

Ghostbur’s typical pleas filled his mind before the pattern was interrupted, “C- could you dry it off?” It took a second for Wilbur to realize what the ghost was saying with the sobs intertwined in the shaky words. But as soon as he deciphered it, he immediately took his hand to his pants, rubbing it to make sure most of the water was off.

It didn’t take long for all of the water to be gone as he hesitantly spoke, “How does it feel now?”

“Better than before.”

Wilbur weakly pulled his body up against the wall. He opened the chest next to him to find it was full of glass bottles. He grabbed three of them out as he closed the chest and put the brewing stand on top. He tried to fill the bottles up in the cauldron, but found that his usual method involved dunking his whole hand into the water. 

He attempted to just tip the bottle so more water would enter, but upon pulling the glass bottle back up, he sighed. He knew from his early days that you needed a certain amount of water in order for the potion to properly work. Too much water made the solution diluted, causing the effect to be much more muted than it should be. Too little water made your body feel off the rest of the day, assuming the potion even works in the first place.

“Ghostbur?” He felt an odd pressure on his chest as he imagined the ghost’s whispers from before.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve… I’ve gotta dunk my hand in water again.” He could feel the ghost recoil.

“Alright,” Ghostbur took a shaky breath. “Make it quick if you can.”

“I will.” Wilbur exhaled slowly himself. Although it wouldn’t hurt Wilbur, he felt a sense of unease as he quickly dipped his hand in the water. A muffled groan echoed in his mind. He looked towards the other empty bottles in his hand as he slightly frowned.

“Ghostie, I won’t make you do anything, but I’ve gotta ask you something.” Wilbur didn’t wait for a response as he continued, “The pain you felt was from me filling up one bottle. I could just brew with this bottle and drink the potion.” Wilbur momentarily closed his eyes as the words on his tongue tasted bitter to him, “Or I can fill up the other two bottles in case of emergencies. I won’t pressure you for either option but-”

“Wilbur, I know I should choose the extra two bottles.”

Wilbur cringed at the truth. “I mean- you don’t really have to choose that option. We could just start brewing if you’d like.”

Ghostbur sighed, “I can take it.”

Wilbur despised the words, but he responded, “Alright, my hand is going in.” He quickly filled both of the bottles, trying to ignore the muffled scream that ringed in his mind.

He forced himself to block it out as he turned back to the brewing stand, filling it with the three full bottles as Ghostbur’s noises died down. He rubbed his hand on his pants before taking the nether wart he had and putting it in at the top. Only silence greeted his ears as he remembered he needed some blaze powder to power the machine overall. 

He crushed the blaze rod with ease, putting it in as the rest of the process seemed automated to him. He barely processed his movements as he soon watched as the mixture turned into a bright red, He took the glass bottle away from the stand, as he swirled the liquid around, watching it carefully. It was almost hypnotic. He held the bottle to his lips and took a deep breath. “I… I’m going to drink a health potion for my leg.” He bit his lip, “It might hurt a bit.”

“Oh.” Ghostbur said, his voice sounded a little quiet, “Okay, I’m ready.”

Wilbur nodded even if the ghost couldn’t see him, and took a large sip from the bottle. He kept drinking, not removing the bottle from his lips. His throat was burning at the sensation. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling the pain spread through his body, as if the headache from before had decided to pound in his leg instead of his head. His blood felt as if it had momentarily been replaced by the burning potion, removing his attention from anything but it. He tried to breathe his way through it, each breath coming through as a quick hiss.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, before the pain transitioned into a comforting warmth. He opened his eyes again, trying to step down on his leg. The pain had decreased significantly. He let out a relieved breath, and gave an accomplished smile. “It’s much easier to walk now,” he said.

“Is your leg better?” Ghostbur asked hopefully, “Are you going to leave the bunker soon?”

Wilbur frowned. He shook his head. “Not yet,” he said. “The leg could still use some time to heal and…” he looked at the bookshelves above, “There might still be some information we can use here.”

“Right.” Ghostbur said, suddenly sounding determined, “That makes sense.”

Wilbur tried to chuckle, though it came out so silently and breathlessly, that it was hardly a noise at all. He took a step on his much more useful leg, feeling relieved as he could walk more or less without limping. He walked to some chests he hadn’t looked at yet, and rummaged through them. If he was planning on staying in the bunker for longer, it would be optimal to know what supplies he had available to him. He was reminded of his exile, before Pogtopia was built, as he and Tommy assessed their remaining supplies, to figure out what they had to work with. His heart became just a little heavier at the thought, and he decided to put the thought away, for as long as he could.

Among the most noteworthy items he found was a clock at the bottom of one of the chests. It looked old, as if someone had forgotten they’d put it there in the first place. Wilbur picked it up, inspecting each side of it. The hands of the clock moved ahead each second, making a rhythmic little ‘tick’ at each step. The sound was comforting to him somehow, ringing through the silence of the solitary bunker.

It read 5am.

It took Wilbur a few moments to figure out if the clock was functional and accurate, though he eventually concluded that it was highly probable. He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep, nor for how long, but at least this would let him keep track of the now. Slowly, he walked up the stairs again, much more successfully this time.

As he reached the bookshelves, he stopped, staring at the nearest empty wall. There was a faint ticking from the clock in his hands, and he felt as if he was staring into nothingness. Staring at a silent wall. A half-bent nail was firmly placed on it. Gently, Wilbur placed the clock on it, until it was hanging there safely. He sat down on the chair, and allowed his eyes to close, as he centered his mind. He had a goal in mind, and as soon as possible, a plan would be shaped from the muddled thoughts.

It was time to get to work.

[wickedobsessed101]

Fanfic Writer Asks

[SOURCE: criminal-minds-fanfiction: Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!]

I’m answering all of these b/c I love Q & A’s about my writing, both for my fics and other things.

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? It was 2013, so I was 14 years old. I’m now almost 23.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one? I’m mostly in the Wicked Musical fandom, but I like to read for other fandoms, like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Chronicles of Narnia, ect.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer. OCs, but I’m more than willing to create an OC for someone based on characteristics they give me.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for? I love me some fluffy romance and hurt/comfort, but I also love some angsty drama.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why? OMG, don’t make me choose! They’re all my babies! I love all my children equally! They all hold special places in my heart.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why? Goodness, most of my stories prior to 2017, because I was in high school and had no idea what I was doing because I was just getting my feet wet with writing.

7) When is your preferred time to write? Anytime really. The latest I’ve stayed up writing a fic was 4AM. *Glares at ‘Threads of Truth’*

8) Where do you take your inspiration from? Where ever it happens to come up. I’m not picky. Movies, music, people I’ve seen on the street, random thoughts that enter my head, anything.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote? In ‘Threads of Truth’, it’s a tie between Villy’s first date, and an argument that happens in an upcoming chapter. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind? In ‘Play The Game’, I liked the epilogue ending that I gave Elphaba with her family, even without Fiyero. I like writing her with kids. Another ending would be with the Fiyeraba still together, but I’m satisfied with the ending it has.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it? I’ll go back and fix typos that are pointed out, but I don’t change plot stuff. Like, I wrote what I wrote and I will amend my technique in future stories.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why? Other than my OCs, because I get to fully create them and my lowkey babies, I’d have to say G(a)linda. She has so much potential and she’s so much fun.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why? Boq. Not because I hate him (I don’t!), but because I don’t normally know what to do with him. If he’s not with Nessa, he’s literally just standing there like a brick wall. No offence, Boq!

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories. [Ask me about a specific story(ies)]

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names? I usually change consonants and vowels to already existing names, or add unnecessary letters because... reasons.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx? [Ask me about a specific story]

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on. “Hopefully, this will soak up any more leaks.” (Upcoming Wicked fanfic)

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? Yes, 2. Both of them are a few years old and I’ve grown as a writer since then. Maybe one day, I’ll edit them and repost, but not anytime soon.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to? Not everything can have a sequel, y’all! XD

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently? Yes! Around 60% of them.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire? @vinkunwildflowerqueen @raven-curls @mylittleelphie @weaselspeedfanfic Ultimate Queen of Cliffies

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it? This goes back to Question #6; most of what I posted prior to 2017.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? Silence. I need to focus.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes? I can’t write it. They’ll make out, and then be pregnant in the next chapter. Y’all can do the math for yourselves.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story? YES! Yes, I have! Both sad tears and tears of joy. I’ve also cringed from second-hand embarrassment at the things the characters do and say. I’m not in control of their actions all the time. Sometimes they tell me what they’re gonna do, and I’m like, “Well, alright, then.”

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write? [Ask me about a specific story]

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? I write bullet points of things I want to happen in a chapter on the Word Doc, or in the story as a whole, and I try to keep those bullet points in order. And the Notes App on my phone holds a lot of my ideas, and sometimes full scenes.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction? That I’d become obsessed with writing and continue doing it for almost ten years, as well as expanding to writing plays and musicals.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like? Yeah. I’m not gonna say which one, but just know there’s one... or a few.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? Yes, and I’m still not gonna say which one(s). I want all the love!

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec, not the answerer) Yeah, sure!

32) Are any of your characters based on real people? Yes. Villy Doiir from ‘Threads of Truth’ is based on 4 people I know in real life, all mixed together into one wholesome, mother figure/ mentor. Perhaps that’s why I like writing her so much.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? All reviews keep me going, no matter the length. But I love it when people review saying that they picked up on little references that were really just for me. It makes me feel like we’ve shared a moment.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten? A guest reviewer once said, “You tend to write Fiyero as an abusive person”. It wasn’t harsh, just... NOT TRUE. Especially for the story they were reviewing.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest? Close to my chest. I’ll share it with the world when I’m ready.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s? NOPE! You’ll just have to wait and see! LOL!

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written? I... really don’t know. My stories all have their funny moments.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it. I’m very busy, and collabs aren’t really my thing, but I’m always willing to lend an extra pair of eyes pre-posting.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person? I’ve written one story in the first person and it was fun to get into the character’s head, but I love third person, cause I like knowing what everyone is thinking. Second person makes me feel a certain way and that don’t really like.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction? IRL, no. It’s not something I bring up over dinner. I’ll talk about my plays and musicals, but not fanfiction. I like keeping my fics for the online peeps and my more personal writings for the RL peeps.

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written? My OC, Princess Hannalyn, from ‘A Royal Romance’. She was so much fun!

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx. I haven’t done a song fic.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it? Not fully, but they’ve had little inklings, but certain details were still a surprise. And I’m not mad about it.

44) What is the last line you wrote? “I don’t want this to be the last time we see each other.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process? When I’ll have one idea, and it spirals into many others, and when the characters write themselves. It makes it so much easier for me. Sometimes they tell me that they’re about to make a bad decision, and I just go along with it. They need to learn and grow somehow.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it? [Ask me for a specific story]

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about? [Ask me]

48) What’s your favourite trope to write? I love a good Royalty AU (not fully AU ‘cause of our princey-prince, but still) and Holiday AUs. And I’ve never written a Coffeeshop AU, but I LOVE reading them. I’ll read anything. I’m not picky, and I love to see what ideas others have.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about? Yes, and both of them were Gelphies: 1 - “Easier Said Than Done” by mecelphie - It’s part of a long, wonderful series of Elphaba and Glinda together at Shiz and how their lives evolve together and has many lovable OCs. 2 - “The Thropp Diaries” by denpa wave chick saki - It’s first-person Elphaba POV of the book. It expands on lots of mentioned moments and we get to journey through Elphaba’s thoughts.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? I’d have to say fluff, so I can get my escape from reality. But it’s hard to write pure fluff without a little bit of conflict.

If you wanna read my stories, they’re all right here: Fae’sFlower

[veliseraptor]

2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year. 

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? 

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting. 

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? 

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment. 

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really. 

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things. 

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: 

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write: 

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head. 

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January. 

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: 

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: 

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings. 

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write: 

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment: 

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them. 

Biggest Surprise: 

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: 

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.  

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

**

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

**

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

**

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

**

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

**

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

**

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

**

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

**

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

**

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

**

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

[yaimlight]

Part 3 - No

Rating: older teen (swearing and mild sex references)

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x female reader / Todoroki Shoto x female reader / Bakugou Katsuki x female reader x Todoroki Shoto

A/N: part of the Twos Company series but can be read on own. Rest of series can be found on AO3 here.

Part 1

Part 2

———————————————————————

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” you exclaimed loudly as you flung the door open, arms thrown wide and beaming. Shinso looked up from his book, his tired eyes narrowed and a bored look on his face. He rolled his eyes, huffing at you and then turned his attention back to what he was reading. Laughing you closed the door behind you, kicking your shoes off before making your way over to the bed.

He didn’t even look up at you as you climbed onto his bed, eyes fixed on the book in his hands. “Shinso,” you said teasingly, slowly crawling up towards him. His eyes briefly darted up to you before going back to his book. Smirking you crawled over him, settling over his lap and plucked the book from his hands. Huffing he finally looked up at you, folding his arms over his chest. “I was reading that,” he said flatly but you could see his lips curling up into a small smile.

“Well that’s just boring” you said dismissively, not even looking at the book as you closed it and dropped it onto the floor. His small smile fell back into a frown and you knew he was about to have a scold you so you got there first, shuffling back onto his thighs. “I have something much better,” you shoved your hand into your jacket pocket, letting out a triumphant cry as you pulled the lollipop out. You held the heart shaped sweet out to him, ‘be mine’ printed on the front of the glossy red lolly. He looked at it in utter disgust, arms remaining folded and refusing to move. “It’s a thank you, for getting rid of all those letters for me before Katsuki and Shoto got to class this morning,” you stated, wiggling the lolly at him in an attempt to get him to take it.

He had been a reluctant coconspirator this morning, getting rid of all the confession letters and cheap nasty chocolates before your class had arrived, leaving your boxes behind instead. He had bitched and moaned about the whole thing, trying to get you to do it yourself but you had wanted to spend the morning with the two other boys. Plus you had wanted to see the looks on their faces when they realised they didn’t have all the gaudy crap cluttering their desks like they normally would. You hadn’t been counting on there being more idiots trying to confess throughout the day and there had been a slight wobble, well more a cataclysm at how you had handled that situation but thankfully it was all smoothed out, all parties happy again.

You sat on his thighs, spinning the lolly between your fingers and smiling brightly, waiting for him to take it and finally he gave in. Huffing he snatched the sweet off you, unwrapping it quickly and shoving it into his mouth. Beaming you darted forward, placing a quick kiss on his bulging cheek before rolling off of him and flopping down onto the bed. He huffed at you, sucking noisily on the lollipop as you made yourself comfortable on you back, arms folded behind your head. “Honestly Shinso, thank you,” you spoke earnestly, tilting your head so you could look up at him.

“It’s fine,” he mumbled around the sweet though he still managed to sound just as grumpy. Smiling you let your eyes close, letting the gentle quiet and calm wash over you. Today had been annoyingly exhausting and you were happy for the reprieve, letting everything fade apart from the gentle hum of Shinso’s quirk. It was familiar and calming and didn’t inspire the same sort of hunger as Shoto and Katsuki’s did.

“I can’t believe how much shit those two idiots got though,” Shinso grumbled around the lollipop. Suddenly alert you pushed yourself up onto your elbows, eyes snapping open as you turned to look up at him in excitement and hope. “Did you keep them?” He frowned down at you, lips pursed but you just grinned back at him, barely keeping your excitement contained. Sighting he pulled the lolly from his lips and used it to gesture toward his desk. “Over there,” he sighed but you were moving before he had even finished talking. He let out a pained groan as you clambered over him, your knee digging into his stomach and nails catching on his chest but you didn’t stop to apologise.

How you had missed the stack of vibrant envelopes was beyond you but now that you had it in your sights you couldn’t see anything else. You practically flung yourself into his desk chair, snatching a hot pink envelope off the top. You were vaguely aware of Shinso grumbling as he pushed himself round to sit on the edge of the bed but he was not your priority right now. You quickly ripped the envelope open, glancing at the front only long enough to see Shoto’s name before you cast it aside and fumbled open the letter. The sickly sweet smell of roses filled the air, the cheap perfume filling your senses.

Ever since Ashido had brought up how bad last year’s Valentine’s Day had been you had been obsessing over these, desperate to see if they really were as bad as the others had lead you to believe. As your eyes darted across the page you were not disappointed. “Oh my god” you gasped, your voice shaking as you tried not to laugh. Clearing your throat, you sat up a little straighter and proceeded to read the poem out in a clear and melodic voice. “I think I was searching for treasures or stones in the clearest of pools when your face…when your face, like the moon in a well where I might wish…might well wish for the iced fire of your kiss; only on water my lips, where your face…where your face was reflected, lovely, not really there when I turned to look behind at the emptying air…the emptying air*”.

Letting the last word trailed off you finally looked up at Shinso, raising an eyebrow at him as you smirked. His face was scrunched up in a look of disgust. “Was that for Todoroki?” he asked, the judgment clear in his tone. Scoffing you held you hand over his small bin and set the thing up in flames, letting the ashes fall into the bin. “What gave it away?” you said sarcastically. It was well written and you got the sense that whoever had sent it wanted to convey a sense of longing but you also thought that the only reason they had picked it was because it mentioned both fire and ice. “Well at least it made some sort of sense,” Shinso mumbled before sticking the lolly back in his mouth and leaned back on his hands, legs splayed wide.

Snorting you went back to the pile, taking the next one off the top. This one was a soft pink, Katsuki’s name across the front. The letter you pulled out was heart shaped, the same shade of pink as the envelope and the writing in a glittering silver. It looked like something Katsuki would hate, blowing it up before he even looked at it and complaining the whole time. You were expecting it to be just as cringe as the last one but as your eyes flicked over one line to the next you found yourself smiling.

“What?” Shinso mumbled but you didn’t answer him, just looking up at him with a grin and holding out the letter towards him. Huffing he reluctantly pushed up off the bed and trudged over to you, hand held out for the letter. He slumped against the desk and snatched it from your hand. “Whose it for?” he mumbled around the lolly. “Katsuki,” you couldn’t keep the amusement out of you voice, eagerly waiting for his reaction and to your delight he actually read it out loud, his tired and deep voice muffled around the lolly still in his mouth. “Roses are red, and they are thorny. How ‘bout some head, cause you make me horny”.

The look of absolute horror on Shinso’s face had you laughing, your sides aching from it. “That’s disgusting,” he grumbled, going to throw it in the bin but you quickly moved forward, snatching it out of his hands. “No it’s amazing. Do you think they want to suck Katsuki’s dick or want him to suck theirs?” You asked as you reread through the short but amusing poem. “Oh god I do not need that image,” Shinso looked sick, one arm wrapped around his stomach and the other rubbing at his temples as he glared at you, as if this was all your fault. Well you suppose in a way it was but regardless of if he had taken the Valentine’s cards or not he still would have heard about them. Especially this one.

Shrugging you folded the letter back up, put it back in its envelope and tucking it into your jacket pocket. “Why are you keeping that?” he hissed in disbelief, looking down at you like you had gone crazy and in all honesty he wasn’t far off. “I’m going to tape it to Katsuki’s door,” you grinned up at him, eyes alight with mischief. Katsuki was bound to be flustered and angry and if anyone other than Shoto found it first he would have to spend all day with his friends teasing him. He would be angry, frustrated and defensive. It would be a perfect opportunity for you to be crude and teasing just to see that perfectly delectable blush on his cheeks. You could already feel how much amusement you were going to get out of it. “I thought you were supposed to like him”. You ignored his snarky comment, instead grabbing another letter and shoving it at him. He huffed as he took it off you but he still opened it.

The two of you spent the next twenty minutes reading through the letters, you taking great pleasure in setting them alight. Some of them were truly awful, not even rhyming and sickly sweet. You and Shinso would share the occasional one that you knew would make the other laugh or feel sick. Most of them were harmless, just girls and a surprising amount of guys gushing generic words of love but there were the odd few that were just a little worrying. One of them went into great detail about Katsuki’s chest and how his muscles glistened with sweat whilst another described how pretty Shoto looked whilst training. You didn’t like it one bit and you made a mental note to pay more attention to the people who hung around the two up and coming heroes whilst they were training.

“Listen to this” Shinso called, snapping your attention back to him and away from your plots of how to get rid of the other boy’s stalkers. At some point he had gone back to his bed, lounging across it with a stack of letters next to him, read ones discarded on the floor. He was sat up now though, a small smirk on his lips and instantly you were suspicious of what would have him looking so happy. He cleared his throat, his voice low and clear and his smile getting bigger with every word he spoke. “I watch from afar, your burning light calling to me like a flame calls a moth to its demise, but you do not see me for your heart beats for another. You can’t see how she hurts you so, her cruel intentions hidden behind her charming smile. You follow her blindly even though she so openly flaunts another’s affection before you. If you were mine I would cherish you like the shinning diamond you are. My devotion to you would know no bounds, my love a constant amongst the chaos but you do not see me, my love cast in shadows as she breaks your heart once more. So I watch from afar, craving your light as you follow blindly, the girl who would see you fall”.

The room feel into silence.

Shinso was grinning madly now and all you could do was stare at him dumbly with your mouth hanging open, the letter you had been holding falling to the floor forgotten. “The actual fuck,” you mumbled in disbelief. “Seems someone thinks you’re a bit of a bitch,” he teased, clearly amused at your dumbfounded expression. “I mean they’re not wrong”. Narrowing your eyes you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest and slumping back into the chair. “That’s rich coming from you,” you grumbled. Where the hell did these people get off? Making assumptions like that, treating you like trash to make themselves seem better. Suddenly all the humour you had found in reading the love confessions was gone, leaving a bitter and sour taste in your mouth and all you wanted was to set the whole lot on fire.

Shinso laughed at you once more, his smirk easing into a teasing smile and he chucked the letter onto the pile of discarded letters on his floor. “You can’t really blame people for thinking your stringing them both along though. Considering how you are with them,” he said offhandedly but his words made something twist in your chest. Was that really what it seemed like? Did people think you were leading them on for what, fun? Because you could? Did Katsuki and Shoto feel the same way?

It wasn’t your intention to make it seem like that, it’s just that you liked them both and it had all just kind of happened. It had never occurred to you before now that what you were doing could be considered cruel and the thought left you feeling sick, guilt twisting in your gut and making you second guess everything you had done today. Shoto knew it was you that had sent the chocolates but would he think they were just another meaningless flirtation? “I’m not stringing them along,” you mumbled, frowning sadly down at your socked feet. Your purposely mismatched socks that Momo had gifted you for Christmas, one to look like Katsuki’s hero costume and the other to look like Shoto’s. You had thought your feeling had been obvious, your genuine affection for the two would be heroes clear for everyone to see but apparently not.

Shinso sighed, the bed creaking as he shifted. The atmosphere had changed, the light and teasing air of things becoming serious and honestly a little bleak. And you had been having such a good day. “You know all this could be avoided if you just asked one of them out”. Your eyes went wide, head snapping up at Shinso’s exasperated words. He was frowning at you, tired eyes filled with a mix of emotions that you didn’t really care for. “No,” you growled out angrily, narrowing your own eyes as you glared at him. “Why?” he snapped, arms crossed over his chest.

This wasn’t the first time the two of you had had this conversation. Not even the first time this week. Things would be so much easier if you were the one to do the asking, to put aside the flirting and teasing and take the initiative. You could just pull one of them aside and say ‘go on a date with me’ and they would say yes. Hell you could probably get away with just telling them you were dating now but there was one important thing you would have to do before that and that was an impossible thing to do. Because for you to ask one of them out you would have to choose witch one you wanted to go out with the most and you couldn’t do that because you simply didn’t want one of them more than the other one.

It had been bad enough having to suffer through that broken look on Katsuki’s face when you had had to turn down spending New Years with him. You didn’t think you could stomach how he would look if you chose Shoto over him. Nor the look on Shoto’s face if you bushed him aside for the angry blonde. It wasn’t lost on you how lucky you were that the normally distant and oblivious teens had taken an interest in you, Ashido having told you that most people had given up trying to date them as they were so oblivious or against it. So you knew that for them to act the way do with you was nothing more than a small miracle but it also left you spoiled. You had spent so long without people touching you that now you had two people who seemed to crave it as much as you did it left you desperate, so enamoured with both of them that you couldn’t bring yourself to choose between the two.

Oh god this was hopeless.

Deciding to try and deflect Shinso’s questions you sighed dramatically, looking down your nose at him and levelling him with an unimpressed look. “That’s not how these things work Shinso. The guy asks the girl out not the other way round,” you said condescendingly, waving your hand between the two of you as you spoke. He arched an eyebrow at you, arms still crossed over his chest and making his arm muscles seem even bigger as they strained against the short sleeves of his t-shirt.

He really was good looking and not for the first time you thought about how much easier things would have been if you had fallen for him instead of Katsuki and Shoto. He knew everything there was to know about you and accepted it, despite all the horrors you had been wrapped up in over the years. “And it has nothing to do with the fact that if one of them actually grows a pair of balls and asks you out then you don’t have to make the decision of witch one to hurt”. You physically flinched at his words, his knowing and chiding tone making you feel guilty for trying to hide the truth.

Perhaps he knew you to well at this point, able to call you out on all your bullshit. Sighing you slumped back into the chair, arm flung over the back rest and legs dangling over the arm. “Exactly” you mumbled as you tipped your head back, flinging your other arm over your eyes in a childish attempt to block everything else out.

There had to be an easier way to do this that didn’t involve you having to choose between the two of them. You were running out of time. Finals were literally days away and you barely had a month before everyone graduated and you were shipped off to the next safe house. You scoffed at that. Safe house was putting it lightly. Where you were going was a newly built high security underground prison designed to be completely impenetrable and for the worst of the worst. This thing hidden so far out in the wilds of Alaska that no matter how hard people looked they would never find you.

You had a handful of weeks before your time ran out and you lost your chance forever.

Shinso huffed, the muffled sounds of him moving around and muttering to himself bringing a small smile to your lips. You would miss this when you were gone and it was a shame that you hadn’t gotten to spend as much time with him as you had hoped to, what with Katsuki practically frothing at the mouth every time he was so much as brought up in conversation let alone you brought him with you when you spent time with the blonde. You got that he was jealous but you couldn’t really see the problem he had with Shinso. Sure he could be rude and loved nothing more than to get under Katsuki’s skin but couldn’t he see that you were just friends?

Like a lightbulb going off you found your answer and you jolted up, startling Shinso with you sudden action. You smiled widely at him, eyes alight as you leaned forward. “What?” he asked hesitantly, eyeing you suspiciously. “Katsuki absolutely hates you and Shoto can only just about stand you,” you exclaimed, practically bouncing with excitement. His hesitance vanished, eyes narrowing and lips twisted into a frown. “Is this going somewhere?”

You pushed up and out of the chair, almost tripping over your own feet in your deprecation to get to him. You threw yourself at him, his tired eyes widening in panic as his arms shot out to grab hold of you. The two of you went tumbling back, Shinso ending up sprawled across his bed and you practically laying on top of him. You pushed yourself up onto your hands and knees, hovering over him and still grinning a little manically. “If they thought that you and I were going on a date it might encourage them to actually do something”.

You shifted your weight onto one hand, quickly tapping him on the end of the nose. It was a brilliant idea and you couldn’t believe you hadn’t thought of it before. It was probably wrong to deceive them like that but desperate times call for desperate measures and you were truly desperate at this point.

“No. Absolutely not,” he snapped, hands gripping at you tightly as he shoved you off of him and onto the bed before he stood, shoving a hand through his already messy hair and going to walk away from you. Groaning you sat up, hands darting out to grab at his arm and keeping him in place. “Shinso please. I haven’t got long left before I get shipped off to fucking Alaska. Please for me?” you begged him, eyes wide and pleading even though he wasn’t looking at you. It was a low blow, reminding him of your impending return to prison but you knew he wanted you to have memories to take back with you and though he was against it he would give in to you. Just like every time before.

Groaning he lifted a hand to his face, rubbing it over his eyes. The room fell into silence as you waited for his answer. You could feel the hum of his quick under your hand, almost pulsing like another heartbeat. It was slow and steady and strong, tempting and familiar though not in the way Katsuki’s and Shoto’s were. Your hunger for their power would probably never leave you but after having them at your disposal almost every day since you had arrived it had become less all consuming. Shinso’s was still some sort of comfort though and you would miss his gentle purple glow and the open ease in which he let you touch him.

“Fine but you owe me” he sighed, the tension in his shoulders easing as his hand fell and he turned to look at you with a sad almost smile. “Anything,” you promised and you were not surprised to realise you meant it. Shinso could ask you to move mountains and topple empires and you would, just so he knew how much you appreciate him and everything he had done for you in the last year.

Huffing out in laughter Shinso returned to the bed, slipping his arm from your as he went. He sat back against the headboard, arm slung over it and looking at you expectantly. Smiling softly you crawled up the bed, slotting against his side and wrapping an arm around his middle. His own arm draped across your shoulders, pulling you closer and you went willingly, soaking in as much of the physical contact you could get before you went god knows how long without it.

You fell into silence again, Shinso absentmindedly playing with your hair. At some point he had retrieved his book from the floor, holding it in one hand and using his fingers to awkwardly flip the pages. It was nice, relaxing even and you were content to stay there for a while. “So is there a plan for this or you just want me to go taunt your little guard dogs into action,” Shinso’s casual tone threw you, having thought you were done talking for now.

Tipping your head back you were surprised to find him already looking down at you. Nervously your eyes darted off to the side and to the now rather small stack of envelopes on his desk. As much as the idea of Shinso just storming up to you whilst you were with the other two teens seemed funny it was also a sure fire way for him to end up with a broken nose and either frost bite or third degree burns. Plus you didn’t want him to actually ask you out, you just wanted the hint of it. Wanted Katsuki and Shoto jealous and panicked enough to act quickly and without giving it to much thought.

Sighing you turned back to him, patting him gently on the chest and giving him your best look of fond exasperation. “I think we can be a little more subtle then that”. He huffed out a little laugh, lips curling up into a rare soft smile. Not as rare as either Katsuki’s or Shoto’s but still infrequent enough that you would cherish it for years to come. “No pink unicorns and picnics on the moon then,” he teased, his words startling your own huff of laughter out of you. “Unfortunately no,” you smiled, turning your gaze away from him and looking down at the book that now lay open and forgotten on his lap. Your eyes darted across the page, taking in the small snippet of story and you recognise it for what it is, a bloody and gruesome tale designed to leave the reader not only horrified and scared but haunted by the possibilities of what lurked in the dark.

If it was nightmares he was after you could give him that, no fiction needed just the story of how you had come to be here at U.A. It wouldn’t be much of a tale, no happy ending to speak of. Just a small glimmer of hope before bleak despair took over. Max would scream until he was red in face if you told Shinso everything, he was already angry enough when he found out how much the perpetually tired teen knew but there had been no point lying after he had forced the first truth from your lips and the subsequent beat down he had received afterwards.

Sighing you glanced at the clock that sat on his bedside table, the neon red numbers glowing brightly. “I should go,” you mumbled, reluctantly pushing away from Shinso’s warmth and shuffling off the bed. You had been due in Evans’ office almost an hour ago now and he would only give you so much time before he went looking for you. Normally you wouldn’t care but you had told Shoto where you were going and he and Katsuki would be the first people Evans went to, not even bothering to turn your tracker on and just assuming you would be with them like always.

Shinso didn’t say anything but you could feel his eyes on you as you headed towards the door, shoving your shoes back on with a pout. He seemed to sense the shift in your mood, something that was getting more frequent the closer the end of the school year got and thankfully he allowed you the time to gather your wits before heading off to the mandatory meeting with Evans’. Things had been rather tense between you and the detective since Christmas and you were not looking forward to another hour or so of the awkward and stilted small talk that would proceed him telling you what you really wanted to know.

Your father hand been spotted in South Korea not even a week ago, rather brazenly actually, even smiling at the security camera before leaving the bank he had just robbed. He wanted you to know he was coming for you, was dragging it out as probably some kind of punishment, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs behind just so you could see as he got closer and closer. It was worrying everyone, even the teachers were tense and on edge. Plans had been brought forward in reaction to his ever tightening grasp, your departure for Alaska now set to happen whilst the graduation ceremony took place instead of afterwards like it had been planned originally.

You, the detective and a select few heroes would slip out amongst the commotion and fan fair, using the whole thing as a diversion. It would be a shame you wouldn’t get to say goodbye, wouldn’t get to see your friends happy faces as they transition from heroes in training to actual licensed and fully qualified heroes but it was probably for the best. If you actually had to say goodbye to Katsuki and Shoto you didn’t think you would make it, braking down before the words even made it past your lips.

Shinso opened the door for you, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed and watching you intently as if he was looking for some sign that you were about to break and he would have to catch the pieces. Turning you offered him a smile, trying to make it as wide and playful as you could muster. “Lunch tomorrow?” you wiggled an eyebrow at him, tongue pocking out from between your lips. He huffed in amusement rolling his eyes at you but he was smiling softly again so you counted it as a win.

His smile turned into something wicked and you groaned at his next words, “sure you can help me cram for finals”. That was the last thing on your mind right now. Even if you did have to take the stupid tests, they didn’t change anything for you and at this point it all seemed like a gigantic waist of everyone’s time but not for Shinso, so if he wanted help you would give it to him but you wouldn’t be happy about it. “Fine but I will do it reluctantly with a lot of complaining and a fair amount of inappropriate comments” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest and giving him a pointed look. “So no different to normal then”.

You stuck your tongue out at him, his laughter low and rumbling. The whole exchanged had lifted your spirits slightly and with a mumbled “night” you blew him a kiss and headed on your way, the gentle click of his door closing sounding before you had even made it to the end of the corridor.

The common room was full as you made your way through, people turning and calling out greetings as you passed and you made sure to smile back brightly, wishing them all good night as you went. Class B had gotten used to you coming and going months ago and they hardly payed you any attention now when you came breezing in like you lived there. You were lucky Vlad King didn’t kick you out on your ass every time he caught you despite how often he told you off for disappearing into Shinso’s room for hours at a time. The only reason you could think you got away with it was because they all knew that you and Shinso weren’t doing anything other than studying or sleeping. Well not sleeping in Shinso’s case.

The night was cool as you stepped outside, the sun already on its way to setting. Sighing you contemplated just saying fuck it and head back to the dorms and barge your way in to whatever Katsuki or Shoto were up to but Evans would just come looking and ruin all your fun. As if on queue your phone dinged loudly, signalling at text and you quickly retrieved it, already knowing who it was from and sure enough the detectives name was showing in a little text bubble. You huffed at his words, the threat of having only five minutes to show yourself before he went looking for you a real one that you had ignored many times before and had ended up almost being dragged to his office. You sent him a quick text, telling him you were coming before shoving the phone back into your pocket.

You shot your dorm a longing look as you hurried past, eyes darting up to where you knew Shoto’s room to be and finding the light on. You wondered if he had told Katsuki yet that you had been the one to gift them the chocolates or if he had kept that little bit of information to himself? Either way it didn’t really matter, you didn’t think it would make either of them suddenly want to ask you out. You could only hope that whatever you and Shinso ended up doing worked.

You had never been on a date before and rather liked the idea of your first one being with either Katsuki or Shoto. It would be a good memory to take with you when you left. You could only hope that it would end up being a good memory for them as well.

*Echo by Carol Ann Duffy