#so yeah. I will probably organize them all in a post and add links

[ember-knights]

I can't get the idea out of my mind that if the bombing and the siege of Gaza was happening anywhere else in America or Europe, that people would be more affected. That the media would be more honest and outraged on their behalf. That there would be no debates on human life and "appropriate responses" as massacres unfold. That we wouldn't have to keep saying "children are dying children are being buried alive. children children children." as if ... a Palestinian life needs to be proven human first so the people would care.

And that is the bitter truth. We, who speak for Palestine, have a lot of filth we need to work against. Namely, the filth started by Western Media that dehumanizes Palestinians.

So i am doing just that, my first post was about Arabic swear words, told by Mo Amer. And like as we like to say at home, حسن البدايات ( meaning: virtuous/ gracious beginnings), so I have decided that that would the first post of many aiming to show the humanity of Palestinians.

Here is a beautiful poem by Rafeef Ziadah, preformed in London in 2011. Here is a glimpse of the beautiful art of Palestinians:

And personally, i always wondered how do Palestinians go on? How do they laugh and make friends and fall in love and get married and have children. I remember seeing the wedding of Ahmed Hijazee after the Gaza attack in 2021 and seeing them all happy and building him a home and putting decorations, in the face of the rubble, bombing, and death. In face of it all, they smiled and cheered and ate sweets. I felt bad for wondering "what is the point?" but i couldn't help it. I didn't get it. It felt unreal to have seen the brutality of the bombing and afterwards, still fight.

But they do get it and they teach it to their young.

I am not here to glorify their pain, and i do not mean to say they are exceptionally strong. They shouldn't have to be and they should be allowed to be weak and vulnerable and all the spectrum of the human condition.

But what is more human than to face all those horrors and refuse to resist? For them, living and surviving is their resistance.

They teach life.

"They Teach Life" series: Part 1 , Part 2

[infiniteglitterfall]

listen i know everyone wants to help but for fuck's sake, vetting a gofundme does not mean saying so-and-so vetted it. there needs to be some kind of reason given, somewhere, by someone.

if you want to be really generous, there should AT LEAST be a reblog, by blog-you-trust-that-actually-supposedly-vets-people-somehow, saying they vetted it and it's a real fundraiser.

but realistically, anyone claiming to vet fundraisers should be saying what they do to vet them. something. anything. fucking transparency of some sort.

i cannot even tell you anymore how many gofundmes i've seen that claim to be for people in gaza, with posts saying they were vetted by this or that blog right here!

and then that links to... the blog they're claiming vetted it, just reblogging it. not saying they vetted it. just smashing that reblog button in passing for whatever reason.

Or to a reblog by someone ELSE claiming that some blog vetted it.

Or to a Google Sheet that says it's a list of vetted gofundmes, which doesn't have any information at all about almost any of them.

And ALL the ones I've looked at recently have conflicting information, too.

Like: the Tumblr post about the gofundme will say this person is starving and their brother needs medical care urgently because he has the autisms and their life was beautiful before the war and they've lost their home and their entire family needs help. But then the gofundme itself will say they're trying to raise money to rebuild their home. And then ask for a strangely low amount, like $60k.

(Yeah, I know, exchange rates and costs of living vary. But nobody is rebuilding their home in the middle of a war. Nobody can give you an estimate for what it will eventually cost in the middle of a war. The building could get hit again. The number of people rebuilding all at once could drive up the cost of materials and labor. Etc.)

I saw one last week that was supposed to be for a computer science student whose entire family had infections, and needed cleaning supplies and urgent medical supplies stat.

And it said she was living with her family and then all her five siblings had joined with their families, so it was.... five families. Which doesn't add up.

But then the gofundme said they needed $5k each to leave the country, for a total of $50k, which means 10 people, which doesn't seem like enough to cover five (or six) families.

But then, Egypt (or the company it contracts with) has been charging $5k for women and children but $10k for men, and how can it just be $5k a person for her family? A

nd then people were urgently reblogging it, saying they needed to raise the full $50k within like 3 days so the family wouldn't have to choose between food and cleaning supplies?? (You can withdraw money on gofundme before you're done fundraising, so it wasn't that.)

It had a fuckton of reblogs and had raised something like $38k of the $50k already. And just.

It would be nice to go, "oh, it's probably fine, it's always good to help people."

But at this point, what I'm seeing has already passed "people are being scammed," and is approaching "big, trusted bloggers might be organizing scams."

[neth-cactus]

iiiii ummm uhhh little drawings from the fic cus i fixated on my own writting jabsjwhdhe i have a looot to talk about so i will do it under the cut, the fic link will also be here

my girly pop, its weird posting stuff on ao3 but like shes there, the whole fic is me posting random little stuff i wrote on a whim so it will be noticeable dhbfjsjd also warning I might have made everyone a biiit out of character so im kinda sorry lols

now for fun notes and stuff about the chapters i did not add to the end notes

"The sun shines bright" not much to not other than after this clover's hand hurt for like a day and flowey bullied the peck out of them,,, also this is the only time flowey calls clover an idiot on this fic

"The flower pot incident" after the end clover spends like 10 minutes explaining everything about flowey, but he explains it like a little kid would, making it confusing as hell, so ceroba gives up and just like pats him and tells them to be good or smth, it was the same with everyone else

also bad quality comic of how the pot came to be

"What kind of milk were you?" the song came in as i was finishing the chapter and it fitted so well i named the chapter after it, as i mentioned it was me like poking gently to clover's life before the underground, his thought process was mostly thinking marlet was angry at them over doing the dishes in "secret" idk how to explain it but yeah :( poor little fella, also as noted at the end, flowey observed all happening and just like kept in mind

"Sewing back the pieces" I loved imagining how clover's room looked, and i had to include it, more joking around from the best friends, id like to think clover knows how to sew but they are just a bit clumsy with the needle, also those things are slippery...

"The calm before the mall" I feel proud about the title pun(? but this is also what i kind of meant with flowey keeping things on mind, by the time of this chapter a bit of time has passed of them living with humans, and flowey knows how stuff can be and how clover is a biiit shy so thats why the warning was persistent, it didnt work but meh

"Fertilizer is a fun word" IT IS A FUN WORD i love writing it lol, but seriously, i tried exemplifying more the thing of clover not speaking a lot so flowey does most of the talking for them, they do speak a bit but its short sentences and very quietly,

"You are just a boy, you are no man" this one will be long again the song fitted and it came on while writing the middle lol, clover does not know very well about the whole story with chara, but they do know that buttercups are meaningful in some sort of way for flowey so thats why they picked them, now is fun to note that the comments about their friends being monsters did bother clover but the one comment that like spilled the cup was the age one, that one hit deep and thats why they reacted that way, also the amount of people did not bother clover that much when they arrived but like the panic and stuff made them very aware of everyone around and med everything worse so ye, lastly, another time flowey calls someone idiot, this time dalv (sorry king)

i think thats all, if there's a specific choice yall are curios about feel free to tell me :3 i will probably have an answer for it

[orpiknight]

OrpiKnight's FAQ FAQ

For the Neil Gaiman Tumblr FAQ

GO S3 was announced! Will you be updating the FAQ still? Yep! :)

--- Who? Vel (blog OrpiKnight)

Why? I'm excited about Good Omens 2, I was looking through the Asks on Neil Gaiman's blog anyway, and I like having a constructive outlet when I'm going through so much information. And there were a lot of repeat questions. I mainly made it for me and my friends for reference, but then decided to go ahead and throw it out into the Tumblr void, too.

*Are a lot of these questions really frequently asked? Well, this started out being called a "QnA" doc because I was compiling the Asks. Then everyone kept calling it a "FAQ". So I rolled with it. It keeps up with the current Asks as much as possible, though. (I have no way of knowing how many times he gets asked some questions. That's for his inbox to know.)

Will you be actively updating it with new questions/answers? Yes. I update in batches now, every month or so. For my sanity. *When I update things, I usually put the new questions at the bottom of their section, even if they might fit next to something else in it better. This is just to make new ones easier to find. Later on I might reorganize them.

Can you put it in a Tumblr post? No. It's too much information, it can hang out on docs (which is 30+ pages). I'm pretty sure I would hit a word limit if I put it on here. Or break my dash. Or accidentally delete it. *You don't need a Google account to access it. I have tested this signed out on non-Chrome browsers. (I use Firefox btw)

You missed some Asks. Yeah... there is no way I could get all of them. I had to draw the line somewhere.

Some of the questions are strange. Don't I know it. Edit: But I do like to put in all sorts of questions. Sometimes there are things that don't even occur to me to ask that Neil says he gets constant questions about (like the ice cream/ice lolly). Sometimes there are things that I don't realize need clarifying (like "two consenting bicycle repairmen"). One person can ask a creatively specific question that other people are quietly wondering about. I also like the funny ones.

I found an error (typo/link not going to where it's supposed to/accidentally wrong info/etc.)?

But seriously, it's okay to message me to let me know. It's very helpful.

Can I have shared editing access to your document? No.

About the fanfiction thing... Please end my suffering. (And Neil Gaiman's) Edit: I should probably clarify that I do like fanfiction.

I have personal opinions. Please be nice to me.

Can you add or change this, that, or whatever? I work irl, am usually tired, and don't have much time to constantly edit every little thing. Unless you're Neil Gaiman himself asking, it's likely I'm just going to leave it how I organized it. And I mean that in the politest way possible. Speaking of, if you would like to help me out at all with things like bills, medical costs, and food— here's my: Venmo: @ajgvel Ko-fi page (It says you're giving me ducks on there! :D)

It's not expected of course. Regardless, much love to everyone, and thanks for making a space where we can all have fun together about something we enjoy. ♡

Find me on Bluesky: OrpiKnight

[emoticonheart]

lol kinda spontaneous, but the next chapter of the burp soulmate story inspired by @moraygrotto is here!! as always, i'll link the story on ao3 here and post it below as well!!

The line in front of the nearest SIMA building was, as expected, extremely long.

SIMA-- which stood for Soulsign Identification and Matching Agency-- was an international organization meant to help expedite the process of finding someone with the same soulmate sign as you. It was supposedly a simple process; all you had to do was prove that you had a soulmate sign, and they would add it to the registry. Once there was a match with someone else, you would get a text or a call. Sometimes, if the sign was too vague (like: i can feel whatever emotions my soulmate is feeling) then a list would be mailed to you with people that have similar soulmate signs. From there, you could at least try to narrow it down.

The organization was meant to make it easier to find your soulmate, especially if said soulmate lived on the other side of the world, but the way the organization was RUN made it harder that it should've been. The long wait times were a prime example of this.

But Sierra didn't seem to mind, and so the two of them took their spots in the back of the line, a smug smile on her face.

Conner stood awkwardly next to her, sweating with nerves. One of the things that came with registering your soulmate sign with SIMA was that you were given a new ID on the spot, one that had your soulmate sign written just below your picture. You'd have to trash your old ID and replace it with the new one, and Conner did not want to replace his old drivers license with one that has BURP SYNCHRONIZATION or something like that written on it.

He was hoping that since he had already found his soulmate, he wouldn't have to worry about registering, but it seemed Sierra had other plans.

As they crawled their way through the line, they approached one of the SIMA agents, who was watching over the line.

"Excuse me, sir," Conner said, getting his attention. "About how much longer should we expect to be waiting in line?"

"Two hours," he said sharply.

Conner frowned as he turned to Sierra. "Are you sure you don't wanna come back a different day? Maybe we can get here right as they open on Saturday and maybe the line won't be so--"

"Nope," Sierra shook her head. "We're doing this today."

Conner sighed. So be it.

They continued to wait in line in silence, until suddenly a commotion in the front of the line caused Conner to look up.

"Fuck!" someone shouted from up front. "Someone up front reeks!"

A bunch of people began filing out of the building as quickly as they could, pinching their noses and waving their hands in front of them. Conner took this as a sign to leave, but before he could take a step, Sierra grabbed a hand.

"We're staying," she said.

"But, everyone else is--"

"That just means our wait will be shorter."

Conner sighed. There really was no getting out of this.

By the time everyone had cleared out and order had been restored, Conner and Sierra found themselves to be next in line. As they walked toward the next available agent, they passed by a man in a suit and tie making his way towards the exit. But first, he looked over at the two of them and winked. "You're welcome."

Conner just gave him a weird look, but Sierra whisperered. "He probably set off a stink bomb so that he could be first in line. I've heard that's been happening a lot recently."

Conner frowned, but decided not to ask anymore questions. As they approached the desk, Conner could finally pick up the stench lingering in the air. Yeah, definitely a stink bomb.

The lady on the other side of the desk looked like she wanted to die. "IDs?"

Conner and Sierra slid their driver's licenses over to her. She took a quick scan of them before sitting back down, but she didn't give them back.

"Are you both registering under the same soulmate sign?"

Sierra nodded. "We just need new IDs."

Conner's heart dropped. So that's what this was about? But he specifically didn't want a new ID!

He opened his mouth to tell Sierra just this, but she must've sensed what he was about to say, because she shot him a glare that made his blood run cold. He kept his mouth shut.

"Fine," the lady said. "And what's the soulmate sign you'd like to register yourself under."

"I'm sure you don't have this one in your registry yet," she smirked. "'Burp synchronization.'"

She gave Sierra a look behind her glasses. "Come again?"

"It's simple, really. When I burp, he burps. And when he burps, I burp."

"Are... are you sure that's what your sign is?"

Sierra raised an eyebrow cockily. "Want proof?"

Conner began waving his hands, already seeing where she was going with this. "Sierra, no. No no no no--"

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

Without warning, Sierra opened her mouth and ripped an insanely loud belch, one that echoed around the walls of the entire office. And since Conner didn't have time to close his mouth, his burp was just as loud, making the volume of their combined gas almost unbearable.

When it was over, Conner slapped both hands over his mouth, burning from embarrassment from head to toe. Sierra, on the other hand, just smirked at the agent.

"That good enough for ya?"

Conner made the mistake of looking around, and he saw all the eyes on them, all the looks of disgust. Oh how he wished the ground would open up and swallow them whole.

The agent sighed. "I guess so. 'Burp Synchronization' it is. I'll go ahead and print out those new IDs."

Sierra smiled as the agent walked to the back office to do just that. Once she was out of sight, Conner glared at Sierra. "What the hell was that?"

"What?" she said innocently. "She said she needed proof!"

"So you had to embarrass me like that?"

"I didn't mean to embarrass you, but what else were we supposed to prove it?"

"Why do we even need new IDs in the first place. Soulmark IDs are only for those who need extra help with finding their soulmate, but we already found each other!"

Sierra rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You wouldn't get it."

"You're right about that."

The two of them crossed their arms and huffed as they turned away from each other. Conner just couldn't wait for this to be over so that he could go home and forget all this embarrassment.

Finally, the agent came back and slid their new IDs over to them. Conner frowned as, sure enough, BURP SYNCHRONIZATION was plastered right underneath his ID photo.

Joy.

"Here you go," she said "NEXT!"

The two of them quickly shoved their new IDs in their wallets before making their way out of the building. As soon as they were out of the stuffy office, Sierra waved to Conner.

"Well, uh, see you later, I guess."

"Wait!"

Sierra stopped trying to walk away and turned to Conner, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Can I... have your number?"

Sierra's face twisted in disgust. "Why?"

Conner ignored the sting that came along with that as he shrugged. "I mean, as much as you may not like it, we are soulmates. Don't you wanna at least try making this work?"

Sierra narrowed her eyes in contemplation before finally sighing, making her way back over to him. "Fine. Give me your phone."

Conner did just that, and he watched as she aggressively typed out the number on his phone before handing it back. He took a look, and saw that she had already sent herself a text with just his name, assumedly so that she could save his number on her phone.

"There," she said. "Now, just don't blow up my phone, okay? Let's take things slow."

Conner nodded. He couldn't agree more.

As Sierra walked away for good this time, Conner couldn't help but pull out his new ID. Tears began forming in his eyes as he took at the two new words plastered on it.

What did he do to deserve this?

[lizardsarecute]

Made a lot of comic progress that I've been really proud of, but it's more on the technical learning side lol

Clip studio has some really seamless comic workflows built into the program, it's really nice

re-organized the Chapter 5 file from group folders to CSP's webtoon template. I can swap pages around freely, batch save and export all the pages at once. Copypaste elements between pages with ease. so fucking good ugh. It takes more time to set up, but the payoff is incredible and I'm so glad I caught it this early. Plus the vertical overview makes planning compositions to the script so much easier, because it will be an accurate reflection of the comic when posted on ao3. Looking at the old group folders again and man. This was definitely a pain. Fucken...hiding and unhiding folders and trying to imagine pages in a vertical layout. how tf did I live like this.

csp has a dialogue balloon tool that can automatically link the bubble to text where you can edit them together and separately. I took some time copying my cleanup pen's settings to the freehand balloon pen so it looks more in style

Also made a font for my handwriting, so it would match the style from earlier chapters. Just cleaner and more editable. Don't have to erase and rewrite so the hands get more drawing time. Nice.

I've had Lazy Nezumi for *checks notes*....almost 3 years now. It's a windows app that's for line stabilization but it's my go to for perspective rulers since it's so robust. I haven't actually used it as much until now. And learning how to do perspective manually actually helped a Lot in deep-diving into this program. So yeah, spend a week making boxes and cylinders with this app in csp and building things. (if you made it this far here's a bonus wip pep workshop. She had me watching a lot of interesting videos of things I did not understand)

Setup a whole bunch of auto actions for repetitive tasks. We'll definitely continue to add onto this as we go.

I'm also continuing to build up my reference library from the models in-game. There's so much and I am so thrilled about seeing all the models and bg assets in detail.

on the writing side, I've pretty much laid out the whole plot line and the important beats out. Have several pages of first draft dialogue for all of them too. I am having such a good time! I love learning shit like this!! This year has probably been the most fulfilling year I've had artistically in a long long time--Thanks game!!!

(me getting lost in the sauce of detail work. "ah yes, THIS is my happy place")

[sunnyrealist]

🌶️ Chapter 38: Fierce Love 🌶️

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Chapter Background and Summary: Sebastian and Kate are on an adventurous camping trip in the Scottish Highlands. The third day is quite eventful. They explore a cave infested with Dementors, who show them illusions - ones depicting their dreams and their fears before attacking (Kate actually has to save Sebastian this time!). We learn more about Sebastian's time in Azkaban. There is intense lovemaking, followed by a rejected proposal (not rejected forever, but Kate isn't impressed to say the least). To top it all off, the couple has their first real fight. Kate decides to reveal to Seb that her family has incredibly high standards and likely will not approve of their relationship because of Sebastian's past. Unsurprisingly, he gets emotional, and both of them are very upset. Kate decides that they need some space, so she heads into her extendable bag to cry while Sebastian goes outside to get some air and clear his head.

Pairing: 25-year-old, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x Kate Mayflower (my OC)

Content warnings: In general, this story is rated 18+, so MNDI. This chapter features a conclusion to the couple's first argument, the hypothetical idea of parental disapproval, lots of talk about deep and true love, a discussion about future children, and intoxication. This is also a spicy chapter that features domination and submission, punishment (spanking), loss of control, and doggy-style sex against a table.

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). Please leave some feedback if possible, especially if you like what you read! 🥰

Chapter 38: Fierce Love

As Kate places the last dish on the table, Sebastian slinks inside the tent. She inhales and exhales, trying to find some inner peace.

Luckily, his expression looks much calmer. He quickly notices the dinner set on the table and a sigh leaves him. His face is still grim. Sebastian takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, trying to focus, as he holds on to the back of a chair at the table.

"Sorry," he says in a low, raspy voice that betrays the emotions just unleashed while he was alone. "I should not have reacted that way. That was out of line." He pauses for a second and then finally adds, "Are you… alright?"

Kate sighs. "Yes, I'm fine." She wipes a final tear from her face. "And you know what, I'm sorry, too. Maybe this was not the right time to bring this up." She gestures for him to take a seat at the table. "Perhaps I should have waited until we got home."

"Yeah… that might have been better," he mumbles, sitting down. "Still… It’s out now, and I do want to talk about it. I think it's necessary." A pause. "Kate, look..." He meets her eyes. "I know this is going to be a... difficult thing. With your parents, and how they will see me and... everything." Another pause. "I just... I don't want to mess this up with your family. I don't want to be rejected by them. I don't know what I'll do if they hate me." He sighs. "I want to win them over. I want them to give me a chance, even though I'm probably a hell of a lot different than whatever it is they expect. And that’s putting it lightly."

“It’s going to take time,” she finally murmurs after a moment. “Ugh… I already know how it’s going to go.” She shakes her head dejectedly. “But… Seb… they are good people - my parents. They just want what is best for me, but… this-” she gestures between them, “-is not for them to decide. It’s my life. I get to choose who to love.” She exhales and waits a moment before speaking again. “I do believe they will eventually come around. And if they don’t, they will be the ones missing out on an incredible son-in-law.” She gives him a small smile.

His expression softens. "Yes, it may take time..." he muses. "And it likely will not be easy. But if they are good people, like you said, they will come to realize that my past doesn't define me. My past doesn't define my ability to be a good partner for you and a good father to their- their grandchildren..." Sebastian meets her eyes. "I truly am sorry for how I spoke to you, Kate. I don’t know how you have such… infinite patience.” He sighs. “And thank you for being honest, even when I don’t want to hear the truth."

She reaches for his hand and squeezes it. “Of course.” She plates sauteed salmon, lemon parmesan rice, and roasted green beans for both of them. “Bash, they are sensible people. It will be difficult at first because my mum is emotional and concerned with reputation.” She pauses. “I want to lead this with honesty. I will tell them that I am not leaving you, that I will not change my mind. And it will be up to them to decide whether or not and how to integrate their future son-in-law.”

"Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea..." he replies, and his grip on her hand tightens as he finally gives her a small smile. "Honesty is critical. We can't build a foundation based on lies. Not with this. That way, whatever the outcome, at least we can say that we handled this with maturity." He sips his white wine. "Your parents have every right to be concerned for you. But I'm not the same person who made those terrible mistakes when I was sixteen. I have learned and grown up. I’m ready to start my life anew. I'm ready to build a life with you.”

“I know all of that, I do. It’s just going to be tough to tell them the news. I think… I think I should speak to them alone first. It might go over better if you aren’t there.”

His face falls as he processes this, having expected that they would stand and face it all together. But, after some thought, he nods finally and says, "You're right... And you know your parents best.” He pauses after a moment and then asks worriedly, "They won't be terribly mean, will they? Or rude?"

“They won’t be openly rude or mean when you meet them, Sebastian,” Kate replies, looking bothered. “Don’t worry about that. They would never. They’re good-mannered people.” She takes a bite of salmon. “It’s more what they might say or think when you are not around. They’ll feel more comfortable to ask me difficult questions and get their feelings out. They will almost undoubtedly attempt to make me rethink us. It won’t work, though.”

He is quiet as he takes a few bites of his dinner, attempting to mask his anxiety of the ordeal ahead. "So, they will be asking you questions like, 'Why can't you see that he's a dark wizard and bad for you? Why are your feelings more important than our family’s reputation? Are you sure you want to marry a man like him?'"

Kate cringes. “I mean - I hope not… but my mum can come off very strong. Irene and my papa will likely come to terms with us as a couple sooner than she will.” She sighs. “Damn it all. You probably think so badly of my family now. I promise you that this is not who they are at their core. They’re loving and kind and generous and…” She trails off, trying to assess his feelings. “Merlin, I want to add you to the family so badly. I think it would do you so much good to have people in your life that maybe… Maybe someday you’ll consider them parental figures. I just know that you’ll fit in perfectly, personality-wise, with all of us. It’s just… going to require patience.”

"I don't think badly of them," Sebastian replies. "They want to protect you. It's going to be hard for them to understand why you want to be with me, and I suppose I do not blame them for that." 

He savors the last bite of his salmon, and the anxiety inside him begins to soften. Kate is willing to risk her family's approval in order to be with him. It demonstrates just how deeply she cherishes him. 

"You're right," he says. "Patience and understanding will be crucial."

Kate is relieved to hear him say he doesn’t see her family as evil, but she kind of doubts that is the truth right now, especially after Sebastian’s tirade earlier. “I- I don’t think there is much else to discuss on the subject. We’ll face whatever comes together. And we will do it with love and maturity.”

"Yes, and with honesty," he adds. "We'll just have to accept that they may not approve of the idea of me at first. I don't think there's much else we can do besides letting time do its work, and I will be patient as necessary. With that said..." He smiles slightly. "I truly do hope they are not as harsh as you think they will be. And I hope you will stand up for me, if necessary, to tell them that I am not this bad person that they might think I am."

“You don’t need to worry about that at all, my love,” she replies. “I would do anything for you. Even… fight off a dozen Dementors.” Her smile is cheeky. “You’ll never have to wonder if I would protect you in a life or death situation.” 

As crickets chirp and the wind blows outside, the two enjoy some more bites of their food in comfortable silence. Kate’s eyes make their way to Sebastian, looking over his features. His face, lit by flickering candlelight, is swimming in freckles. Unbeknownst to him, his chestnut hair is a mess, probably from being outside in the cold wind. A broad chest with muscular arms, sculpted from fight after fight in prison, then from training with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He’s a masterpiece, Kate thinks to herself.

“I never thought you’d be able to battle so fiercely,” Sebastian remarks. “No offense. You’re just… full of surprises. You keep me on my toes all the time, Kate.” He stares as she smiles and drinks her wine. Then, he smirks. “Are you sure you aren’t a warrior at heart?”

Kate almost spits out her wine, then laughs heartily. “Godric’s heart, no!” She shakes her head dramatically, still chortling. A playful look comes over her face. “Little librarian me? Not in a million years. However… if I have to defend someone I love, watch out.” She raises her hands to make them look like claws. “A true Hufflepuff - gentle and patient and kind, yet fierce when provoked.”

Sebastian chuckles at her charade. Her silly side is adorable. “So… just a meek, petite, polite librarian… until there is a need to protect her love. Then, she turns into a dangerous wild beast.”

“Roooooooaaaaarrrr!” Kate growls and lunges at Sebastian, immediately erupting into giggles.

After settling down and enjoying quite a bit more wine, she turns more serious. “I suppose we are one for one now. I saved your life today, and you saved me from that monster, Clyde Parkinson. I guess we’re both rather protective. Is that also a Slytherin trait?”

Sebastian tilts his head as she asks about Slytherin. “Of course. It’s a big part of the Slytherin mentality. We look out for our own; we don’t hesitate to defend the ones close to us, but for us, it doesn’t matter what methods are required.” An image of Clyde Parkinson, his face filled with blood as Sebastian landed blow after blow, comes to mind. Upon reflection, Sebastian wonders if he went too far. But when he remembers Kate screaming, half-dressed, and the position in which Parkinson had forced her against the wall, ready to prey upon her honor, he doesn’t feel sorry. Not one bit. “It’s one of our best qualities. Being protective is how we survive and achieve our best.”

“So, I suppose I fall into that category, then? Someone close to you?” Kate bats her eyelashes in a silly manner.

“Well, of course. Someone very close to me. The closest anyone has been to me in a decade.” He gives her a small, teasing grin after sipping more wine. “I suppose, in that sense, you have become part of the Slytherin family.”

Kate laughs heartily. “Slytherin family, huh?” She eats a little more rice, then pushes her plate away, finished. A mischievous look takes over her face. “Will we be a Slytherin family?”

“Erm, yes. Yes!” His grin grows bigger as he realizes what she means. He meets her eyes. “Yes, I absolutely hope we will be a Slytherin family.”

Kate is poised and more than ready to tease him. “Or… we could be a Hufflepuff family…”

Sebastian bursts into laughter. “Oh, no, you don’t!” He playfully reaches out to grab her hands and clings onto them tightly, shaking them. 

“Oh, yes, I do!” Kate shrieks.

“You’re not turning me into a Hufflepuff!”

 “Just imagine it: Every time a new little Sallow comes to the front of the Great Hall, the Sorting Hat immediately declares, ‘Hufflepuff!’” She cackles. “Wouldn’t that be delightful?!”

He groans at her comment and then chuckles, despite his protests, still shaking her hands. “Oh, no. Please, no. I simply could not have my family line be cursed in that way - by having the Sorting Hat declare them all Hufflepuffs year after year!” His smile is huge. “It just wouldn’t be right!” 

They can hear the sound of crickets outside as the sun begins to set whenever the chuckles momentarily subside.

Kate takes a large sip of wine and then pours herself another very full glass, refilling Sebastian’s cup as well. It doesn’t escape his notice that her face is growing more rosy by the minute, her giggles getting louder and more high-pitched. “Cuuursed?! Cursed?! Do you really think it would be that awful to have little Sallows in Hufflepuff?! I would be soooo proud to see them…” she hiccups. “...in my h-house!” She lifts her arm, pumping dramatically, as if in victory. In doing so, wine splashes out of her cup and onto her dress.

Sebastian hasn’t smiled so hard in ages. He is now completely on board with this game they are playing. He’s sure to win if her red complexion indicates anything. “Yes - cursed! Being sorted into Hufflepuff is the worst curse I could possibly imagine! I cannot fathom having all of my descendants be doomed to wear that yellow, the color of sunflowers!” He continues in an even more dramatic manner. “And being proud of it?! Never! It would be a disgrace to the Sallow name!”

“Nnnnnnow you’ve done it!” Kate cries, banging her hands on the table and shooting up. She stomps over to him and violently shakes him by his shoulders. “You’ve i-insulted Hufflepuff aaaaand sunflowers! How dare you, Mr. Sallow!!!” She starts giggling again and doubles over. “I declareeee it now - our precious babies will be Hhhhhhufflepuffs!”

Sebastian can’t help but laugh at her antics, eager to goad her tipsy tomfoolery further.  “Never! Never in a million years! No matter how much wine you drink and how pissed you get, Kate Camellia Mayflower, you will not curse my children with that!” He observes her huffing and puffing. “I’ll never let them join that house! I’ll send them off to Hogwarts with green scarves instead. If anything, they’ll be Slytherin! I will not accept any… lesser option!”

Kate traipses back to her side of the table to retrieve her glass of wine, downing what is left. “Your children? Your children?! I think you are f-forgetting something, Sebastian Renatus Sallow - they’ll be ours!” She points at him dramatically. “And what are you gonna do? Bribe the S-Sorting Hat?!” She bursts out laughing.

Sebastian shakes his head as he watches her wine disappear. He can’t help but chuckle himself at her good cheer. She’s a hilarious drunk. “I suppose that’s true, but they will still be my children, and they’ll be just like their father - all Slytherin! And as for the Sorting Hat, do you think that I would not do anything and everything within my power to ensure that they are sorted into Slytherin? You know that’s Slytherin to the core!”

“You ffffffucking Slytherins! You play diiiiiiiirty!” she cries, throwing up her hands. She marches towards him again but trips over her own feet drunkenly, ending up sprawled across his lap. Then, as though it was his fault she fell, she yells, “Sebby! You naughty boy!”

The laugh that erupts from him when she trips and falls into his lap is one of pure amusement. Kate attempts to sit up in his lap, and he places his hands lightly on her waist in assistance. “Oh, really?” He chuckles, then leans towards her and whispers, “If I’m… a naughty boy, what are you going to do about it?” Kate giggles. “Your breath is tickling my ear, Sebby!” She squirms around, kicking her feet. “Naughty boys… need to be punisheddddd…” 

Sebastian can’t help but lean even closer, whispering directly in her ear. “Punished, huh? Is that so?” His eyes flicker down. The bodice of her dress is wet, drenched in wine, and a button has come loose, exposing some cleavage. He lets his eyes linger for a beat before slowly looking back up. “I could think of a few ways of punishing you,” he begins to tease, “but you might be too pissed to know what I’m talking about.”

Kate gasps. “Punish me?” She laughs. “Whatever for? I’m notttt pissed!” She notices his gaze has fallen upon the bodice of her simple pink frock, causing her to narrow her eyes.

“Oh, I know you’re drunk, my love,” he replies, then leans in again and flicks at the loose fabric. “You’re so drunk you don’t even recognize that that button has fallen loose.” He lets a beat pass before finally whispering, “But I know what to do about a dirty, naughty little Hufflepuff…”

“You’re the one sssssaying mean things abou- about Hufflepuff,” she whines, then hiccups. “I just know our babies will beeeeee…. In Hufflepuff, and you- you’ll be sorry, Sebby…” Her bottom wiggles over his groin as she squirms around, attempting to get away from the tight grip he has around her waist and torso. “Why? Why…. does a Slyyyyytherin get to punish a… Hufflepuff???”

“Because we’re better - we really are,” he answers in a mocking tone, his smile curling deviously. “And because Hufflepuffs like you need to know their place - that’s why! You belong to a Slytherin now, and your children will belong to Slytherin as well. It’s high time you realized that there is a hierarchy… and how that hierarchy really works.”

“Oh, p-piss off,” Kate spits. “There is no such… hi-hierarchy….” She grinds more on top of him, feeling him grow hard. “I-It’s all about… control for you lot. And Slytherins… they like to t-think they h-have control, but they d-don’t…” 

“Oh, yes there is - don’t be ridiculous! And control is what we have - it’s a simple fact.”

Kate suddenly unbuttons her bodice further, fanning herself. “Why is it so fucking warm in here?!”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. “Warm? Maybe you should take off that pesky little dress.”

“Y-you’d like me to- to take my clothes off?” she asks innocently.

His eyes flicker towards her open bodice as he grins. “I would absolutely love it if you took this dress off, my love.”

“W-well…” Kate begins. “The t-thing about control… is that… I don’t have to do what you want… Y-you’re the one under my controlllll…. Just look at the state of you! I’m getting exactly w-what I wanted… You’re already hard because of meeeeee. I’m in control… Your control is just a… facade…”

Sebastian’s smile suddenly falters, but he decides to stand his ground. “Really? You think you’re in control? If so, maybe you should demonstrate… and do something about this… monster you’ve created.” He gives her a cheeky grin and bounces her on his leg.

“T-That’s right. We make Sssssslytherins think they have control because they like to think they have power. But it’s us - the Hufflepuffs - behind the curtain!” Kate smirks, her demeanor slightly changing. “You know… I don’t think I am going to do anything about this.” She gestures towards his lap, then giggles and moves to hop off of him.

His grin turns into a grimace; he grabs her wrists as she tries to leave. “Oh, no, no, no - not so fast…” He sounds playful at first, but after struggling to keep her on his lap, his tone becomes firm. “You are going to reap the consequences of your teasing, my love.”

Kate hiccups. “You’reeee the one getting punished!” She begins another attempt at escape, but his grip tightens around her waist, keeping her in place.

With a raised eyebrow, he asks, “Is that so? Well, if you think I’m being punished right now, let’s just see how you feel when I really punish you…”

Her smirk turns to confusion and then a slight bit of fear. “W-what?”

Sebastian leans in close, his voice lowering. “If you think that was a punishment, then just wait until you see what I have planned for you, my love. You will beg for me to stop, and I won’t...”

Kate’s mouth drops. She stops squirming, defeated, but also curious, exhilarated, and fearful all at once. 

He can’t help but smirk as he sees what kind of effect his words have on her. He leans back a bit, keeping one hand on her wrist and the other tight on her waist. “Let me tell you something,” he begins, his voice still low and with a somewhat threatening edge to it. “You have been a very naughty, very dirty girl tonight, and you need to be reprimanded.”

“Seb…” Kate’s tone is full of worry. “Please…”

His grip suddenly tightens. “Oh, a punishment has to happen, my dirty little Hufflepuff. There will be no more warnings. I’m going to teach you a lesson…”

“No,” she squeaks. “I… I don’t want that. Please…” 

“You should have thought of that earlier. You should have known what would happen.” The hand around her wrist tightens.

“Ouch!” Kate yelps. “Don’t hurt me!”

There is an audible scoff. “Oh, but why should I not? You teased me, and for that, you’re going to be punished. So, now, it’s just a matter of how I’m going to punish you.” He suddenly lets go of her wrist, sliding his hand up her thigh and onto her rear.

Her eyes go wide. She shrieks as he suddenly flips her over so that she is bent over his knee. He slides the hem of her dress up, exposing her bottom. That’s when Kate finally realizes what is about to happen. “Sebby… n-no! Pleeeeeease!” 

“Oh, but dear,” he murmurs, “I’m afraid that the time for pleading has passed.” He squeezes her arse and gives it a hard spank.

“OW!” she shrieks. She tries fruitlessly to get away from him. “Seb…”

Another hit. “Sorry, my love, but you need to be punished… I’m not going to listen to you anymore.” The moment he finishes speaking, he gives her another firm spank, the sound echoing off of the walls of their tent.

Her body jerks as he slaps her arse over and over again, handprints blooming red against her pale skin. 

“Stop! Stop!” Kate pleads. “Please, Seb!”

“Stop? I’m not done yet, my love.” He smirks and gives her a firm slap again, his palm lingering on her skin. “There’s still so much more that you need to learn about your place…”

Tears well in Kate’s eyes. “I didn’t do anything wrong!” she protests. “It hurts!”

“It’s meant to hurt!” His grip on her hip tightens. “Oh, you did plenty wrong, my love,” he murmurs. “You were teasing me, grinding up on me, all while knowing how badly you wanted to be punished. It was inevitable; that’s just how it works with a dirty little Hufflepuff like you.”

“But you w-were being so meannnn! Aren’t we even?!” she cries out, tearing up, as he resumes spanking her over and over.

“No, we are not even,” he hisses, watching her red arse jiggle slightly with each hit. “You know why we aren’t even? Because you drove me to it. You are the one in the wrong here - that’s why you’re being taught a lesson.”

“Stop! Stop! Please!” she wails as he lands blow after blow. “This is over some stupid argument about what house our children will be in! It’s not right!”

There’s a moment of reprieve as he mockingly responds. “Oh, is that what this is about? Just that silly banter?”

Kate breathes in and out slowly, trying to manage the pain. “I-It was… also about… control…” she answers quietly.

There’s a moment of silence.

“I see… And… you were the one wanting to be in control during that argument?” Sebastian asks calmly and seriously.

“I… yes…” she answers hesitantly, not wanting any further pain. “B-but not anymore, Seb. It’s you. Y-you’re in control.” She lowers her head.

“Is that so?” he questions. “Then would you say that I am still in control for whatever I do right now?”

“Yes,” she replies obediently, and in the next moment, she is thrown over the table, her arse in the air. “W-what?!” She hears Sebastian hastily unbuttoning his trousers.

As his trousers and shorts slide down his legs, he tells her with a slightly more playful edge, “I can do whatever I want to you right now, can’t I?”

She feels his groin press flush against her stinging bottom and whimpers. His manhood pokes against her center, and he starts chuckling darkly when he realizes how wet she is. “Guess you enjoyed that, didn’t you, my dirty little Hufflepuff? There was no need to protest so much. We’re about to have some more fun, alright? It’s gonna feel so good. You don’t have to hide how much you love this…”

Kate gasps as he pushes inside her heat. Without giving her any time to adjust, he starts moving, his pace quick. Every time his groin snaps against her rear, she yelps in both pain and pleasure. “Seb… Seb… Oh… Seb!” she shrieks.

“That’s it, my love,” he hisses as he speeds up. His moans intermingle with the slapping of skin and that of wet squelching. “Oh, gods… it’s good…” He closes his eyes in satisfaction. “Who’s in charge, my naughty girl?”

Kate can hardly breathe, her eyes shut tight. “You! You are!” she screams. “Sweet Merlin! Oh, gods!”

“Yes, that’s right… I am! So what does that make you, my love?”

Even thinking is difficult. Almost all she can register is the stinging every time he thrusts against her arse. Drool slips out of her mouth. “Yours. Yours to control! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, I’m close!”

The dishes on the table are rattling; a wine glass is close to the edge, but he pays it absolutely no mind and continues on.

“And what…. what do I own of yours?” Sebastian asks. When she doesn’t answer, only breathing heavily, he repeats the question. “What do I own of yours? Answer me!”

Kate lets out a long moan, then struggles to answer as he absolutely pounds into her. “My body. It’s… It’s yours! Aaaahhhh… Sebastian! You… You own me!” Her vision starts going white; she is falling over the edge.

Sebastian groans as her walls tighten around him. Thrusting hard into her a few more times, he feels himself giving into bliss as well. He pushes as deep as possible as he unleashes a huge load, his heart pounding in his ears as he utters unintelligible words of praise.

Coming down from her high, Kate whimpers. Sebastian collapses on top of her, reaching forward to grope her breast as he tries to return back to reality himself. 

“Oh my gods…” she murmurs breathlessly.

“Sweet Merlin…” he agrees breathlessly. “That was amazing.” He looks utterly winded, sweating and panting profusely, as he finally pulls out of her.

Kate slides from the table to the floor, absolutely boneless and shaking from the aftershocks of their shared pleasure. Her breathing is as heavy as his. “Sebastian…” she chokes out. “Seb…”

He follows her down on all fours, moving carefully next to her. After a moment, he presses a gentle kiss to her lips. “Kate…” he murmurs. “You were incredible. You know that, right?”

Her face is flushed as she gazes upon him. One of her breasts has completely fallen out of her bodice; she can’t be bothered to fix it. She just needs to revive herself first. Naturally, it doesn’t escape Sebastian’s notice. He reaches up to squeeze her breast gently. “I think your dress looks… better… like that…” 

Kate allows Sebastian to pull down her bodice enough to expose her other breast as well. He kneads her soft flesh, flicking her pebbled nipples as she whimpers.

“You - ahhh - you love them, don’t you?”

Sebastian lets out a low chuckle. “You know damn well I do.” He gives her breasts another squeeze. “I mean, look at them! How could I not?!”

She giggles and scrunches her nose. “Do you ever think they’re too big? I certainly do.”

“Too big?” he asks incredulously. “No. Trust me, your breasts are perfect.”

“They’ll be unbearable someday when you get me pregnant,” she muses nonchalantly, a far-off look on her face. “Absolutely unbearable.”

“Oh, trust me,” he responds, leaning in closer, cupping her tits. “I’ll be more than happy to bear them… in my hands, that is. All the time.”

Kate scoffs and playfully swats him. “Sebastian!”

He smiles even wider than before, an amused look forming on his face. “You say my name as if you expect me to behave. You know I can’t manage that.”

“Do you need to be punished now?” she asks, playfully rubbing her hands together as if she’s some evil mastermind. Propping herself up on one arm, her breasts swing as she moves - his eyes are trained on them. “I think you’re far more naughty than me.”

“Yeah?”

“I can see what you’re thinking about right now, Mr. Sallow. You’re absolutely insatiable. I swear, you’d go at it all night if I agreed.” She scoffs.

His eyes light up. “Do you agree?’

“Gods!” she laughs. “You’re like a rabbit. Sometimes it feels like you’re trying to breed me.”

Sebastian is caught off guard by her comment and lets out a soft snicker. “Yes, and…? Maybe you’d like that. Maybe you’re not entirely against it yourself.”

Kate’s face turns red quickly as she looks away and attempts to compose herself. “Seb… I…” she stammers.

“Mm, so I was right then, wasn’t I?” His tone has once again gotten flirty and teasing. “Are you embarrassed? Don’t be. Would you want… to be bred by me?”

She continues blushing silently but finally answers after a few moments. “Not now… not until after we’re married and ready for babies.” She’s quiet again, thinking about it. Then, she gives him a lopsided grin. “Anything before that is just… practice.”

“Is that so?” he chuckles. “So… what I take away from that is that you’re saying we have been doing lots of practicing, then…” Smiling, he leans down to give her another kiss, his lips lightly brushing over her cheek. “We should continue practicing…”

Kate breathes out shakily, his face so close to hers. One of his hands glides up her leg, caressing her thigh. “Oh, Seb…” she murmurs, filled with desire. “Take me to bed.”

Sebastian scoops her up, carrying her over to the bed as she giggles, still slightly buzzed. 

“How should we practice?” she asks innocently as he finally removes her dress and then his own tunic.

“Oh, you know the answer to that perfectly well,” he responds playfully, laying her down on the bed and clambering over her. His hands roam all over her body. “Practicing is not the same as the actual thing - you know, actually trying for children…” His tone is more sensual. “But we must practice, you see, so we can be ready after marriage…”

“Mmmm… I see.” She gives him a coy look. “So… how often must we practice, darling?”

“Oh, often,” he whispers, his lips now brushing against her neck. “Every single night until we’re married. At least once every night. And even after we’re married… we should continue practicing, maybe even more…” He squeezes her thigh. “Don’t believe for even a single second that I’ll ever get tired of it.”

“Oh, goodness!” Kate puts on an air of naivety. “But, darling, we cannot - not until marriage!” She puts the back of her hand to her forehead as though she might faint, then cracks up and continues her charade. “Perhaps we should get dressed. One of us ought to sleep on the floor. We wouldn’t want to cause a scandal by sharing a bed!”

Sebastian’s grin is crooked. He presses little kisses all along her collarbone. “Oh… I suppose you’re right. We wouldn’t want anyone to get any wrong ideas if they were to find us.” He lets out an amused chuckle. “Yes, we should sleep in different beds, just in case.”

Kate lifts her head to kiss his lips. “It would only be proper!” She wraps her legs around his waist, bringing their naked bodies even closer. “You wouldn’t want to take advantage of a sweet young lady like me…” She bats her eyelashes.

“I would never,” he responds in the same playful tone. “Who would have ever thought you’d find yourself in a situation of such… lewdness!”

Kate lays kisses all over Sebastian’s face as she hugs him, pressing his chest against her pillowy breasts. “We are in a proper courtship, Sebastian Sallow. We should never give in to our passions prior to marriage.” She runs her hands over his back. “And talking about making babies is not fit for polite society.”

“Oh, my apologies…” he responds as he runs his fingers over her arms in a featherlight touch. “I should never speak of such things, not with your sweet innocence. We must never speak of it again. Not until our wedding night.”

Kate looks at him with doe eyes, feigning confusion. “Our wedding night? What happens on one’s wedding night?” Her hands travel up his back and neck to settle on his cheeks, pulling his face to hers so she can kiss him deeply.

“Oh,” he says before giving into the kiss as his hands continue to explore her body. “Well… most people like to… practice even more of what we just did…”

“Most people… Hmmm…” she muses. “But what about you, Sebastian? What would you want to do on our wedding night?” She bites her lip.

He grins, breaking out of character momentarily. “I would want… to be inside of you…” His hands start to slide lower. His tone becomes more seductive. “To fill you with my seed.”

Kate giggles. “Only once that night, of course, right, Seb? And only when we’re ready for children. Never before.”

“Certainly, that’s what a proper couple might think…” His teeth nip at the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. His voice is husky. “But I want to do improper things to you all day, every day… And on our wedding night, I’ll never leave your body. We won’t sleep at all.”

Kate grinds against Sebastian, speaking in the tone of a well-mannered society girl. “Oh, but Seb… I must know how to please my husband on our wedding night. I wonder who could help me? I need a teacher desperately.”

“Oh, dear Kate,” he teases in a playful tone. “Whoever could that be?”

She gasps as he suddenly grabs her hands, pinning them high above her head. Her pert nipples graze his chest. “Oh, Sebastian. Please, please teach me…”

“Perhaps I might… teach you all the different ways you could make me… love you… crave you… make me want to worship you…”

Kate groans as he grinds against her. Her voice is desperate, needy. “Show me. Sebastian, teach me. Show me what to do, my love…”

Sebastian smiles as he whispers in a seductive voice. “And Kate… Just as you should learn how to please your future husband, he should… learn how to please you. So, tell me, my dear, what should your future husband know?”

Squirming underneath his powerful body, she manages to quietly respond, “Well… the first thing for my husband to know is… hmmm… I love romance and kisses…” She places her lips on his cheek. “Now, what should your wife know that you like?”

“Yes, me too. She should know… I like to feel wanted.” Sebastian leans in and captures her lips in his. 

Kate smiles adoringly. “ Seb, oh, gods, does she want you. She wants you like nothing else in this world. You’ll never have to question that - ever.” She kisses him again, slowly and tenderly. “I… I think my husband should know that I love when he touches me all over my body…” “Yes. Yes, she does like that,” he chuckles, running his free hand up and down her abdomen. “And I already know she loves having someone take charge… someone who can take control. She likes when her husband is a bit more… assertive.” His grip tightens around the wrists he has pinned over her head.

“True,” she murmurs, moaning as his other hand reaches her breast, settling and gently squeezing. “And… mmmmm… What else should your wife know about you, Bash?”

“She should know I am often curious and experimental. That I enjoy trying new things… and exploring,” he pauses to bite and suck a mark into her neck as she whimpers. “She should know that I am an incredibly patient man… who is able to last a very long time…”

“Adventurous,” she breathes out. “And absolutely insatiable…” She chuckles a little, dragging her fingertips down his back and settling them over his arse. “Your wife definitely knows how relentless you can be. She might not be quite as insatiable as you, but she loves how desired her husband can make her feel. It’s flattering.” She kisses his cheek.

Sebastian’s breath becomes more labored. “Yes… and my wife knows that I’m also possessive and protective. She knows she is mine. She knows that I am an incredibly jealous man.” He lets out a small laugh as he pulls her body closer, flush against his. “But somehow, she is capable of making all of my negative feelings just melt away.”

“Your wife belongs to you completely, darling,” she whispers in his ear. “There is no other man she would ever consider. And she knows full well what you might do if a stranger ever touches her… She feels so safe with you.”

They kiss for a few moments, slowly and languidly.

“My wife knows I would kill for her if I had to, but luckily… because she has me, I doubt anyone would dare get too close.” He continues nipping the skin of her neck over and over, then giving a soothing kiss to each new, blooming mark. The sound of her little whines makes him desire her even more.

“And my husband should know… that his wife would lay down her life for his if necessary,” she murmurs. “Really. She would.” Kate gives him a gentle smile as they make eye contact. “My husband deserves the entire world and more. I want to fulfill his every desire, to try just about anything he wants to try…”

Sebastian flashes a smile and blushes as she says this. His hand finally releases hers, but she doesn’t move them, leaving them laying high over her head. Sebastian caresses her cheeks, then pulls her in for another tender kiss. “I love you, Kate.”

“I love you, Sebastian,” she tells him. “Please don’t ever leave me. I couldn’t bear it.”

He squeezes her as he responds, “I will never leave you. Never… I could never.” He kisses her again. “Not now, not in a thousand years. I am yours, and you are mine. You are my everything, from this moment until the end of time.”

The only sound other than their lips smacking against each other is the chirping of crickets - a perfect soundtrack.

Kate takes his face in her hands. “We haven’t been together long, and yet, this feels so right, so perfect. Some people never find what we have, Seb… and I pity them. I do. I could never live without this love anymore.” She pauses, kissing his shoulder. “I don’t understand it - how it just seems like I’ve known you forever, loved you forever. The moment we spoke that night in Diagon Alley… the first time you held me when we apparated to Hogsmeade… It just felt so good to be with you.”

Her words fill Sebastian with butterflies. He can’t help but smile. “I know what you mean. It seems as though I’ve known you far longer than I have. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt something. Something powerful… something deep… something I just had to have and keep.”

Kate chuckles. “I remember it well - how it felt when you were staring at me that night.” She smiles fondly. “The moment I saw you, I just had to speak to you. I was so curious.” She caresses his cheek. “And ever since then, everything I feel… It’s just so intense, Seb. So intense.”

“I felt the same way. I saw you and couldn’t look away. There was so much desire to meet you… to know you… and maybe even to love you. And after that first night…” His words are filled with affection, a deep warmth, as he looks in her eyes. “Everything I’ve felt with you… it’s far more powerful than I’ve felt with anyone other than family.”

“That first morning, when I sent you away because you admitted to me about your past and dark magic… I don’t know if I had ever felt so depressed in my entire life,” she admits. “It felt like something was being ripped away from my soul - my very soul. I was miserable for weeks.”

“I thought I had lost you…” Sebastian’s eyes are far off, contemplating how melancholy he felt back then. “I thought that I had lost the love of my life forever.”

Kate presses her forehead to his. “Thank Merlin you wrote to me. Thank Merlin. Who knows where we would be otherwise…”

“Yes. I might never have seen you again…” A sigh escapes him as he imagines that outcome - not having her in his life. Pure loneliness. Wandering from place to place without purpose, drinking every night in an attempt to forget the past, debating if it’s worth being alive at all…

She kisses him tenderly, recognizing his expression and pulling him out of his thoughts. “I love you, my moon. My sweet moon.”

“And I love you, my sun… my beautiful sun…” A smile curls on his lips as he runs his fingers through her yellow hair. “Please… I want to make love to you again…”

Kate’s answer is a deep kiss. She allows herself to be ravished once more. 

[artinclined-jointheartside]

Tagging Concerns

It has been brought to my attention that there are concerns about tags used and not used in my fic, After the End.

As you can see, I have used a multitude of tags. And while it is true that I often question if I have enough, or if the ones that I have used are good enough, I've left them mostly alone because these are the best blanket/umbrella terms I can think of to give a general overview of what to expect in my fic. For any specific situations, I have and will continue to use TW and CW notes in the beginnings of the chapters.

That said, an existing tag of concern appears to be this one.

There are some that insist that "hermaphrodite" is a slur towards intersex people. I will not deny that there are some problematic individuals in this world who may have used the word in such a way. However, the fact of the matter is hermaphrodite is a valid biological term. Specifically, it is addressed towards non-human entities that have characteristics of both male and female sexual reproduction and are fully functional. Meaning that these can and do reproduce with both sets of organs.

In our natural world, true hermaphroditism is usually only seen in the plant and animal kingdoms.

Humans, while capable of having these characteristics, usually have many more intricacies involved depending on the individual, hence the global term "intersex" has been coined to encompass all the unique possibilities available.

I've included a few links below as well as a link to the Wikipedia entry (which is titled "hermaphrodite" but further down includes a section titled "use regarding humans").

Link/Link/Link/Link

The fact of the matter is, my creation of a third biological reality for the witches of the Boiling Isles, those known as Gemisha, are literal hermaphrodites.

The cohabitation of both reproductive systems within their bodies, and both systems being functional, meaning a Gemisha can be both a sire to a child and a bearer of a child simultaneously without issue – is a natural occurrence in their species. It would actually be incorrect of me to call them intersex, because A) not only is that actually untrue for how their bodies function, but B) they aren't actually human, and intersex is designed specifically to be a term for humans and how our bodies function.

As such, I'll not be taking the "hermaphrodite" tag out, nor will I be adding the tag of "intersex," because while intersex individuals are mentioned in story, I'll add the snippet below, there are no intersex characters of note within the story requiring the tag.

["What are Gemisha?" … "You don't know?" "Hm-mm." "Really? Well, Gemisha is our third status. They have both male and female reproductive organs." "Oh!" "Mhm. So, you know what I mean?" "Yeah, actually. We call that hermaphroditism, but in humans it's called intersex." "… okaaay." "Heh, yeah, I'm sure that sounds weird."]

((edit: I will actually go ahead and add the intersex tag into the tag list as it has been brought to my attention that younger individuals who wish to blacklist this type of content would probably be using that term instead of the former term.))

 Another concern that has been brought to my attention is the lack of a tag "A/B/O" and the possibility that my fic is such a writing and I have not tagged it that way for some reason.

This is embarrassing to admit, but I literally had to ask a friend what "A/B/O" stood for.

I would think that statement speaks for itself, but I'll state it plainly regardless: No. This fic is not "A/B/O" and there exist no such dynamics in this work.

What does exist, however, is the concept of witches having "reproductive cycles." Again, they aren't human, and there have been discussions on my tumblr regarding the evolutionary path on the Boiling Isles that has led to the witches we know today. You can find these posts under the tags "witch biology headcanons", "Feral witch", and even "witch ancient ancestor headcanon." So, while these reproductive cycles aren't all consuming or anything, they do make a witch more sexually active, akin to a high intensity "horny teenager" phase regardless of how old they are. Another possible misconception might be how "Feralness" works and how the witch in question behaves when they've "gone Feral." Again, there have been discussions on this tumblr about how this works for witches, all under the tag "Feral witch." However, to give a brief summary, "going Feral" is basically a trauma response that a witch can have to a violent event. Essentially, it consists of a shift in mindset, forcing them into a more animalistic way of behaving. How they behave depends entirely on who is around them, and what those individuals do. The best in-depth analysis and question/answer option available for this, ironically, is in the fic itself, as the situation in the book comes to a head, is mitigated, addressed and explained in chapter 17.

 With all that said, if anyone has any questions about witch reproductive cycles, Gemisha, Feralness, or any other lore I've concocted for this work, please don't hesitate to reach out to me!

I hope this has straightened out any confusion.

As always, thank you to anyone who comes along to my corner of the interwebs! Your time is so very much appreciated!

[outoutdamnspark]

A couple of updates~

Been doing some thinking recently about how I want to handle this blog going forward, especially NSFW stuff.

☆ First of all, I'm going to make a master list of the stuff I've written - mostly for my own benefit, but also because, as I continue to add more pieces to established AUs, it'll be easier to keep everything in order. (And I also want to do more prompt drabbles in the future, so... yeah. Good place to keep them.) This will also help people avoid anything they might not want to run into while searching for specific posts. (In the event something isn't tagged properly, especially.)

☆ Second, I am definitely going to be doing more Age Gap au with Emmet and Reina; once I get enough scenes together to resemble a fic, I'm thinking of turning it into an Emmet x Reader fic on Ao3. I'll probably go ahead and rewrite the ones I have at some point here soon so that they're a reader insert, and that way I can add them to the master list.

☆Thirdly, in terms of NSFW stuff, I'll be making a separate tag for NSFW stuff that isn't smut (i.e. violence, blood, horror, etc...). I'll also, especially for longer writings, endeavor to keep the SFW and NSFW parts separate. For example, for the Age Gap works, I'll write a scene up until the point where it turns smutty, then fade to black and pick back up afterwards. Then I'll write the actual smut as it's own separate post - with links to the corresponding SFW scene, and also a link to the smut FROM the SFW part TO the smut. That way, anyone who wants to avoid the smutty parts can still enjoy the rest of the story where applicable.

-

If anyone has any input on this, I'd love to hear it; suggestions on how to make my blog as accessible and organized as possible are moooore than welcome!

Also, if you have any requests for tags or just anything that will help your experience here, please tell me! I just want to make friends and make sure everyone has a good time here~ ❤

I love you guys!

[adhdgoberrrrr]

Tags (I can say I need tags right?)

This blog is about a story that I am in the process of writing so most if not everything is about that

The story is called Taiji it is a post-apocalyptic fantasy future story that follows the character Ame. Ame wants to stop ki (a demon lord) from taking over the world and farming humans; but he also doesn’t want the Breakers to win. The breakers are a corporation of humans that want to destroy all demons and return the world to what it was before them.

okay so Taiji art is tagged

and the Taiji chapters are tagged https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Taiji%20chapters

My Ao3:

My Royal Road:

Taiji is a fantasy/post apocalyptic story. I have tried my best to add death to these characters and to the world , but this is where everything is (so far)

Oh wait I do have a Pinterest, i'm not as active there with the story posting but I post links to my ao3. Pinterest:

YouTube:

If you wanna join the Taiji audio we’d love to have you aboard! Just click Here!

Stuff about Me!

I am an INTP+J and a Scorpio. I LOVE music, well basically any kinda form of art. I am kinda a jack of all trades when it comes to nerd stuff lol. I promise I'm working on the stuff I'm just slow:'). But yeah it’s nice to have you here for the ride! Again this blog is mostly about Taiji so if you are coming from a different project of mine posted somewhere else there’s probably not gonna be a whole bunch of stuff about it here.

[kariokiipeaches]

I did it!

I really actually did it!

I drew part of the elevator scene in Chapter 4 of Poor Little Meow Meow on Ao3!

The idea of Killer being a smug-as-f*ck asshole (even going as far as saying “you’re welcome”) after destroying the elevator panel was HILARIOUS and stuck with me even after Chapters 5 and 6 were released/added to the story!

It was something I HAD to draw and have a visual of, lol.

Here’s 63 layers of Killer, and 30 layers of elevator!

FUN FACTS!

•I hate drawing shoes when legs are crossed!

•his legs, shoelaces, socks, the ring in his SOUL, and the top of his head are all different shades of white, even though you probably can’t tell without zooming in a WHOOOOOOLE lot!

•I had to cut Killer up (heh) a bunch of times to fix his proportions (first he was too wide, then his torso was too long, then his jacket was too wide, then his arms were too long for his new body, then his arms were too thick and puffy)!

•this started out as my oldest child posing the way I wanted, and I traced the photo to get all the areas that would be shaded in marked!

•Killers body was drawn, re-sized, and colored in one piece of art, and then he was cut (heh heh) out and pasted into a whole other artwork so that I could fit him in the elevator background the size I needed him!

•I must have attempted close to 30 times to try to get the sparks right, and I’m still not completely enthused (but I’ll tell ya, it makes the time-lapse video of this artwork being made [posted on my YouTube - link to video below] kinda spectacular and look like it’s actually sparking, so whatevs)!

I could NOT decide for the life of me where to put the text, how much text to add, or if I even wanted to add text in the first place, soooooo THAT was a nightmare (no, not nightmare with a capital “N”). That’s why I’m posting a couple versions of it for your viewing pleasure!!!

And yeah, I know it’s kinda dark in the elevator, but in the story it said the lights were flickering, so I muted the colors so it would reflect that easier. IT’S ARTISTIC LIBERTY, GIMME A BREAK!

I ALSO heard, maybe, possibly, probably… that another person may have helped to work on ideas for the elevator scenario… sooooo shoutout to both @lady-of-disdain (the author) and to @calcium-supplement for instilling upon me this brain-rot that refused to go away until I could puke-out a decent image. Go support them!

It’s kinda funny which parts of a story stick out in every individuals mind… and this was just one of them for me.

I can’t WAIT to draw more for this story! I’ve still got ideas, and you just keep adding MORE ideas with every chapter you release!

Wanna see what it took to draw this?

Check out my YouTube!

Wanna read the story?

Check out Poor Little Meow Meow!

Wanna see what I’m drawing next?

TOO BAD.

I’M NOT TELLING.

[bailey-dreamfoot]

Hi, I just realized I should make an intro post to make it easier on any new followers. :]

~About me~

My name is Bailey. I'm a trans guy, and my pronouns are He/Him. I’m also Asexual! :D. I’m currently 19 and still don’t have a driver’s license, lmao. I primarily draw fan-art of various hyper-fixations, but I also have my own OC’s I may post about from time to time. Feel free to check out my Instagram or my Youtube, since I post about them more often there.

Also, I jump around fandoms really often. Currently my big ones are Hermit-craft, Octonauts, and Welcome Home. So yeah be aware of that :p

~Art/ Blog Related Info~

I do art commissions!!! Click the new "Commission Info" button on my Link-tree to see my prices!

I use Procreat for IOS for all my artwork, I animate in Flipaclip, and currently use CapCut to edit.

My asks are always open. Feel free to send me an ask and I’ll do my best to answer it. I also may do requests, but probably only if I find it interesting and I have spare time. Please don’t feel bad if you send a request and I don’t draw it.

I try to always tag posts that are potentially sensitive with trigger warnings, although It’s not that tightly organized. Not to mention I can’t always use the more well known tags because of Tumblr IOS’s ridiculous censorship policy. So feel free to message me if there’s a specific tag you’d like me to add.

Feel free to use my art as a profile picture or banner! Just make sure you credit me either in a pinned post, in your bio, or in your username. :]

All my artwork can be found under the tag #bailey’s art

All artwork of my expansive OCs can be found under the tag #bailey’s original characters

You can also find goofy lore bits about my characters under the tag #bailey's oc lore or search "oc lore" on the profile browse thing

All my animations can be found under the tag #bailey's animations

All my commission work can be found under the tag #bailey’s commissions

Any comics I’ve made will be under the tag #bailey’s comics

And all my various rambling’s and text posts on various fandoms can be found under the tag #bailey’s ramblings

Down here is My Fursona, Also named Bailey! You'll se him a lot here.

~Things/ Topics I’m Ok With~

Sfw Shipping content

Sfw Fanfiction

Gore (of all kinds)

Discussions/ Art Surrounding Topics such as: Mental Disorders/ Mental Illness, Spectrum Disorders, Disabilities, Sexuality, Gender, Abuse, Trauma, etc

Critique/ Feedback (harsh or not!)

~Things/ Topics I’m Uncomfortable With~

Nsfw content

Discussion around nsfw content or kinks

Drama Posts

IRL shipping

The Usage of Slurs (of any kind, in any context)

TERFS CAN FUCK OFF

~Do Not Interact If~

Transphobic

Homophobic

Islamophobic

Sexist

Racist

Ableist

Nazi/White Supremacist

TERF

Pedo

Are an Asshole in General

For A Fair Warning:

I WILL delete comments and/ or block accounts that spread hate, or otherwise act out on my blog. Regardless if it’s directed at me, or someone else interacting with my blog.

Aaaand thats about it. Enjoy scrolling through this absolute mess. :]

[rabbitdrabbles]

introducing my OCs: the rabbit and the goat-man!!

[CW for torture, captivity, kidnapping, written and visual depictions of injury, mentions of amputation/decapitation, noncon touching, very vague mentions of sexual content?]

(also warning this post is LONG :P)

(the tag for them is #rabbit n goat)

^ edit: updated version, not much changed it’s just meant to be a mildly better (still shitty) ref lol

very basic info and initial designs

these two OCs started out on a random whim one summer’s night in 2021, and from then I’ve tried to tone down the amount of lore I’d add to them (because I REALLY love unnecessary worldbuilding) which I kind of failed at so sorry if this post is long.

about the rabbit:

- he isn’t actually a rabbit, as a matter of fact he’s a strange immortal being with the features of a large hare, a fox-like tail, slit snake pupils, canine teeth, and makes cat noises. quite the conglomerate of creatures indeed, but the goat-man just calls him a rabbit, and so that is his name.

- whenever a body part or organ is completely removed from the rabbit, a new and perfect replica grows in its place within typically a couple hours, although it depends: a few missing fingers or teeth only takes an hour or two whilst a removed spine or decapitated head could take well over a day. however, the removed body part remains for a short period of time before quickly decomposing (although if preserved properly it will remain fresh and not break down). the exception is the head and more specifically the brain, which both disintegrate immediately upon a new head/brain growing into place and cannot be preserved.

- anesthesia and other painkillers don’t work on him :3 muscle relaxants do immobilize him enough for the goat-man to operate on him, though…

- and did I mention he can’t pass out or vomit? he can’t be knocked unconscious unless he falls asleep on his own, and his stomach forcibly turns any and all nutrients, poisons and toxins into usable energy regardless of how painful the process is. I fucking love making this guy miserable

- his nerves/touch receptors are also more sensitive than a human’s, but on the bright side his immune system is strong enough to not just regenerate literally everything but also prevents infections, inflammations, rotting flesh, etc

- he can turn into a big fluffy hare looking thing!!! (see flemish giant rabbits for an approximate reference, although he’s bigger— the size of a large dog— and looks somewhat different). the goat-man finds this version of him irresistibly cute so he doesn’t really abuse him in that form, although he can forcibly shapeshift the rabbit back using intense electric shocks. I’ll link some art of what his animal form looks like later!

about the goat-man:

- unlike the rabbit he does look like a man crossed with a goat (although with an extraordinarily long tail), but it seems like he’s effectively immortal as well, it’s strange.

- an out-of-practice general surgeon, he technically does specialize some in orthopedics and a bit of thoracic surgery. he doesn’t operate or come to the hospital anymore though, instead choosing to bring hell upon the poor rabbit instead.

- when not covered in the scent of blood and gore, the goat-man smells of lemongrass and sandalwood and is actually pretty comfortable to sleep on/with. yeah.

- unexpectedly became obsessed with the rabbit’s fluffy ears and tail and pets them every chance he gets, and is positively in love with his animal form.

- self proclaimed mad scientist like the looney he is, sociopath, clean freak, taxidermy enthusiast, ex-satanist and sadist x100 :)

about both of em:

- they’re probably both aro/ace, and the goat-man has no libido whatsoever. the rabbit on the other hand, being a lagomorph hybrid… yeah I might not discuss it too much (we’ll see) but things do happen with him lol

- neither of em are good people. there’s not much else to be revealed about here (again I’m trying to cut down on lore) but all you have to know is that the goat-man is pretty explicitly… a sadistic shit and the rabbit actually used to be quite a malevolent force too in his past life. his backstory isn’t discussed about currently besides some passing mentions, he’s a little too broken for any of that anymore.

- because the goat-man is also the caretaker and comforter as well as the tormentor, the rabbit has developed an almost borderline stockholm syndrome towards him, referring to the goat-man as “sir” or occasionally “doctor” out of terrified politeness (ok tbf he doesn’t know his name) and has a habit of burying his face into his captor’s neck when he is allowed to sleep on the bed ;w; (it doesn’t help that the goat-man is his only source of human interaction and therefore he must rely on him for everything.)

- their little shenanigans happen almost like in a bubble inside the goat-man’s strange house in the middle of an infinitely vast, silent woods. there’s very strange things happening here indeed, and a (not confirmed canon) theory that not everything is as it seems… sigh just when I said I would cut down on the lore

- will the rabbit ever be able to take his revenge one day? maybe in an alternate universe… I have a chart planned of all the possible AU versions that’ll be revealed later haha

general full-body designs, may be subject to slight alterations (also note that all the artwork in this post is slightly old, from June 2021)

I don’t want to infodump everything all at once so these are just the barebones about them, I’ll be revealing more as time passes (and if you wanna know anything specific or just would like to immediately know more in general just send an ask!! I’d be MORE than happy to answer (￣∇￣) −☆)

[ddaengstudies]

Wabi-Sabi Studyblr Challenge

wabi-sabi (侘寂)

Combination of two old words with overlapping definitions, wabi-sabi might be the Buddhist view of the facts of existence: Both life and art are beautiful not because they are perfect and eternal, but because they are imperfect and fleeting. (japanology, 2016)

Hello again! As the semester ends and I'm (finally) graduating college, and after seeing you all enjoy my last challenge, I was willing to create another one, a different one this time, cause I know times have been hard, we are facing new changes as we go back to "normal life" and honestly we all need a bit of relaxation.

info.

wabi-sabi challenge is born out of this need to continuously question and improve the studyblr community, with the goal of visibilizing not only the pleasing aesthetics of it but the hard work and the struggles the students face while striving high to meet their goals.

This is a short challenge, so feel free to adapt it to your schedule, add it to another challenge, use it to post during your summer break, whatever fits you best.

I will be starting the challenge on June 7th, however, feel free to start, end, post, whenever it works best for you.

If you decide to join me in this challenge, use the hashtag #wabi-sabi studyblr challenge so I can keep track of your amazing posts and can reblog them!

aims.

As stated before, the aim of the wabi-sabi challenge is to shine a light and normalize to an extent, that academic journeys are not just the great things we mostly post, that there are as many bad days as there are good days, that we must embrace the journey as something beautiful in all of its imperfection.

Also, as you may already know, this is an effort to provide a safe space for all, times are still hard and we need to keep going, one step at a time.

rules.

If you want to do this challenge, please reblog this post

This is a short challenge, it should not be a burden to the way you post so you can post as frequently as you like/are able to.

Please be respectful. If some of the prompts ask for personal insights please have in mind that everyone has had different experiences and POVs.

prompts.

What series/movie has been sitting on your watchlist forever? And what is it that keeps pushing it back from being enjoyed?

If you're into podcasts, be honest, what podcast was added to your list to listen to someday but is just there? also, please recommend us a podcast.

Share us a playlist that's on top of the list because I'm sure there are others I want to hear but this one is already here on top so I might as well listen to it again.

Name that one book you bought and swear you're going to get to, probably have read the first three pages or so but now it's just there.

How often do you get the need to change your working space layout?

Rank your classes from most to least to make you want to scream your lungs out/cry.

If you're on TikTok, link us to a good one.

A hobby you picked up and haven't really had the time to go back to/didn't end up liking that much

Use this space to tell us anything in a "Today I learned" way

tag game (the linked page is a template, you could, of course, use any other tag game you'd like)

If comfortable, share with us a little bit of your researching process, do you make an outline? a schedule? and how well do you stick by it?

Okay, quick question, when was the last time you had a mental health day?

Pinterest is amazing, what's one pin that you came across and was like yeah, I could do that

Digital agenda, google calendar, notion, bullet journal, paper agenda, or something entirely different? do please tell us how well organizing your time has turned out for you.

Tell us a bit about your life journey, as much as you're comfortable sharing.

taglist.

a special thanks to @just-a-cup-of-anxietea @soaked-in-starlight @godzilla-studies @appreciating-apricity @coco-bean for replying to a post I made that ultimately helped put this challenge together.

I'm tagging people that took part in my last challenge, hopefully you'll want to be part of this too. If you want me to add you to the list so you can get reminded of it, reply to the post or send me a message, i'll remind you.

@myhoneststudyblr @gammastudies @studywithsab @productivebuddy @studyambitiouss @hopebooks @coffeambition @diaryofastemstudent @theologei @study-in-cafes @heyeducateyourself @cofitee @verypolish-studyblr @studycris @future-engr @studydiaryofamedstudent @coffee-catz @illya-studies  @problematicprocrastinator @fiercelittlestudyblr @serendistudy @bulletnotestudies @study-van @bright-goals​ @notebookist @study-van @kaoskuantico @messy-does-cosmology @bulletnotestudies

disclaimer.

I do have to clarify, this is all in good spirits, I do not intend to promote procrastination as self-destructive behaviour, this is all about non-linear productivity and the visibilization of it because we have grown accustomed to hiding the "ugly" the imperfect parts of our journeys as if forgetting that we are multidimensional beings, that we are allowed to not be mainstream productive 24/7. With that being said, don't push your limits too much with this challenge, do what you're comfortable with, share as much or as little as you'd like, you don't owe the internet insight into your personal/academic journey.

[justreadingfics]

It’s a Deal -Ch. 13

Chapter Summary: Old memories come back to you. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: angsty internal thoughts, no Bucky this chapter.  

A/N: Here it is. I’m sorry I ended up not reblogging all the comments on last chapter before I post this one, but I’ve read and cherish them all, please don’t doubt that. Thank you, incredible Suz, @bucky-the-thigh-slayer you’re a Queen around here. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated.

Tag list for this story is closed.  

You bet that if you told anyone about the scene playing out in your apartment right now, people would scoff their asses off at your face: Saturday afternoon, your living room, the Leader of the Avengers Tech Team, the Director of SHIELD – probably the most powerful organization in the world- and one of the scariest, if not the scariest spy to ever walk on earth. All three of you sitting on your carpet, barefeet, wearing tops and tiny shorts due the heat brought by the bright sun slipping through your windows. A big bowl of popcorn in the center and innumerous chocolate bars everywhere. 

Those afternoons with the three of you are a rare event. First, you had your relationship with Eddie to blame, but now it’s mainly due to your work schedules that almost never are in sync, but whenever there’s an opportunity, there you are.

Your phone's message alerts ringing together bursts into the conversation and the three of you grab your devices simultaneously. You were dreading to see what it was, sure it was something from work, but a huge smile widens in your lips at what you see on your screen.

“Jesus…” Nat says, while, laughing, you three turn the screens to one another, confirming you have received the same message. “Bucky’s a lost cause with that cat. That’s the millionth picture I received of her this week. And she’s always doing something extremely exciting like… sleeping.” She rolls her eyes.

“But we have to admit that little asshole is kinda cute,” Sharon comments looking back at her screen and the picture of the, indeed, sleeping cat.

“She is, right?” You agree, with a huge smile on your face. You and Alpine may have had a somewhat rough start, but you can’t help but admit she’s an adorable little jerk who’s just very protective of her human.

“By the way,” Natasha smirks at you, putting her phone back on her pocket, “I had no idea that was what he meant when he said he would romance the shit out of you.”

“It suits perfectly, though,” Sharon comments, shaking her head and laughing with her.

“It does. Shame on me, I should’ve known better.” Nat agrees.  

“He said that?” You ask with peaked interest you try to disguise in the quietness of your tone while you bite the corner of your lips.

The curiosity in the information doesn’t go unnoticed by them, who just snicker at each other. You decide to ignore that.

“The dude is smitten, Y/N, wake the fuck up.” Natasha not so gently throws a popcorn right on your face.

“Hey,” you whine.

“And so is she, giving that little dreamy look on her face. Wake the fuck up indeed.” Sharon sides with Nat with a huff.

“I’ve created two monsters…” Nat comments like you weren’t even in the room, referring to the fact she is the one who brought you two together.

“It’s not like that…” You barge in their little interaction, catching their attention, before folding your legs up and holding your knees, “I mean… yeah, of course… I can’t help having feelings for Bucky, I mean… he’s…” you pause, searching for the right words to describe him, “He’s Bucky.” You shrug… a small smile curling your lips, “He’s Bucky…” you repeat with a sigh while your gaze wanders away…

It’s just you don’t really need anything else to justify why it’s so inevitable to grow feelings for him and your friends catch on to what you mean, because when you look back at them, they both have stupid and dreamily little looks at you… ones that don’t fit to a couple of spies. 

You clear your throat, letting your initial line of thoughts come back to you, “But it’s not that simple… There’s…’ you falter.

“There’s what?” Nat insists, in a kind way.

But “Who” was the more proper pronoun.

“Eddie…” You whisper.

“Argh…” Sharon groans, tilting her face to her side before, looking back at you, “What about Eddie?”

It was just yesterday that you had your little “encounter” with Bucky. You know it was no coincidence he was there, the little shit must’ve tracked you down… but you couldn’t make yourself care about that when it was so amazing… incredible… Not only the fact that he went down on you in such a shameless way and gave you a mind-blowing orgasm, like he always does. It was also the way he spoke to you…his attitude… not really imposing himself… encouraging you to have fun with your friends… no sign of jealousy. It made you feel special and free and… loved. Really loved for who you are and not for who you make yourself to be to please and that is a tremendously powerful feeling.

Still… you have mixed feelings about it all and Eddie is the reason. Being there with him felt familiar and comfortable, but, in some way different… better than before. It makes you think that he really is engaged into finding not just a way back to you, but also a way to make your relationship work and it certainly weighs over your heart.

You tell your friends all of that.

“Did Eddie notice anything?” Nat asks, reaching over for some popcorn.

“I don’t know,” you answer, “He wasn’t at the table when I returned, but he came back shortly, my friends were still talking about it, but we changed to subject once we saw him. The girls didn’t comment anything again, and he acted normal… I guess he didn’t.” You shrug, starting to bite on your nails.

There’s an annoying little feeling rising in you since the night before and, thinking over it, you recognize it as guilt. Guilt for doing that with Bucky while Eddie was there in Club, guilt for not being bothered by Bucky’s presence, while, at least initially, you were bothered by Eddie’s, guilty for enjoying that Bucky was the one who actively made a move when Eddie didn’t, for missing him more than you missed Eddie, for feeling more positively about his change of mind than Eddie’s, for wanting Bucky more…

Guilt because you know you’re falling for him. For Bucky. And there’s little you can do to stop it.

“What is it?” Sharon asks, tightening her lips and nodding at where you’re chewing your nails.

You promptly stop, bringing your hands to around your knees again, “I guess I wasn’t expecting either of them there.” You decide not to share your most recent thoughts with them.

“You know why both of them were there. It was definitely not a coincidence.” Nat reminds you.

“I know… but it's ok, they were polite...” You brush it off but add, quickly, fighting back a smile at the memories that flashes in your mind, “In their own way.”

“Polite? Even when Bucky had his face up your pussy?” Sharon teases, not letting that one go, and making you give in and let out a laugh while you hide your face with your hands for a moment.

“I was pretty excited to find out he was there, actually,” you admit and their faces light up, which you assume is prompted by your own expression. “It was a thrilling sensation… I can’t quite explain.”

“He really is in love with you…Bucky…” Nat tightens her lips and tilts her head.

You sigh, looking back at her, “I know…” You admit.

They both keep waiting for you to say something else but you don’t know what you could say. No… as a matter of fact, you do. You’re just not ready to put your thoughts out in the world. At first, you had your doubts if what Bucky was feeling was really that deep… but now… something has changed. You believe him. You really do. And you know you’re falling for him, too, but…

Eddie was the one you wanted for so long… you’ve made so many plans with him… Long term plans. You used to see yourself growing old with him and that’s an image that still somehow haunts your feelings. And now… the fact that guilt surrounds the feelings arising for Bucky inside you makes you feel like a cheater. You didn’t feel that when it was just sex, but now you do. And you’re damn scared.

What if you surrender to your feelings now and go to Bucky and then comes a day you’ll realize that you were wrong and Eddie will still be the one you really want? You wanted him for so long… can that really have changed? How can one let go of that feeling, that certainty of being right for each other, without being afraid of doing the wrong thing? And if that happens, if you do the wrong thing now, you will eventually hurt Bucky and that’s definitely the last thing you want.

That’s fucked up and you know it. But it’s what you’re feeling.

You keep it to yourself, though.  

~~~

It’s a few hours after the girls left your place, you take a refreshing and long bath and are about to put on a movie to relax a bit more for the rest of the evening. Maybe that way you can put your thoughts and feelings in order.

That duality of emotions is crushing your mind. You wanted some time alone and you had that… now, you can’t help the feeling that you need to come to a decision, a conclusion of some sort, you just can’t keep pushing it further. For better or for worse. Or you will lose your mind soon.

A comfort movie is in order for all the thinking you need to do, so you set “The Prisoner of Azkaban” on your TV before you head to the kitchen. You’re still pretty full of all the junk food the three of you made a feast of the whole afternoon, so you decide to prepare just an old recipe of peach iced tea your mom has taught you. Perfect for the hot weather, too.

You’ve just added the ice in the jar when your intercom rings. You frown wondering who could that be and check your phone for any missed calls or messages, finding none before answering the intercom.

“Yeah? Oh… no, yeah, sure, come up.” You press the button to let him in. Your heart beats just slightly faster, wondering what could he possibly be doing there.

“Hi,” he greets, once you open the door after he pressed the ringer.

“Hi,” you answer, and without even thinking, just keep staring at him, blocking his way into your apartment while he stands at your door, holding a big box in his hands.

“Can I come in?” He asks, when you say nothing else.  

“Oh, yeah, of course, sorry.” You step aside, allowing Eddie to walk into your living room with a tight smile on his lips.  

“Please,” you gesture towards your sofa and he nods, walking with you over there, “I was about to pour me some iced tea, would you like some?” You offer, tentativeness still present in your tone, while the big box secured in his hands grasps your attention for a second.   

“Your mom’s recipe?” He asks, his whole face lightening up as he takes his seat.

You chuckle and nod.

“Oh, hell yeah, then.”

You take just a little longer than you actually need to fix the tea for the two of you in the kitchen. For some reason, his presence, after the night before, what you did with Bucky and after you coming to terms that you are, indeed, growing feelings for the other guy… it just unsettles you.

After taking a deep breath or two, you come back to the living room. Some small conversation ensues while you take a seat by his side and you two drink from the tea you’ve just prepared.

“Ahm…What’s that?” At some point you give in to the curiosity and nod towards the box now on your center table.

He smiles, before placing his cup on your table and taking the box in his hands. He shifts on the sofa, making room for placing it on one of the cushions between the two of you. “I was taking a look at it at home earlier, it just… I couldn’t help myself… and decided to come by to show you.”

When he opens the lid, placing it aside, you take in the contents, which makes your heart beat a bit funny at the surprise. You recognize pictures of the two of you, letters, a few souvenirs… All of them represent a memory of your relationship.   

“Oh…” you say. You know all that stuff had been stashed in some place, but you never knew he had taken them with him once he moved out.

“Yeah…” Eddie brushes the back of his neck, peering at you from beneath his lashes, “I guess I really wasn’t that confident about my decision when I left…” he shrugs, looking down at the box again, “I just couldn’t leave it behind.”

You give him a tightened and brief smile, before placing your teacup on the table and starting to fumble through the items inside the box. You let out a breathy laugh when you find a picture of the day you two have met… he had founded a study group on advanced software creating techniques and you were the only one to show up.

“Oh my God…” you laugh.

“Yeah… what a couple of nerds,” Eddie chuckles, looking at the picture.

He helps you through the shuffling when you go through some more pictures from college, his family, your family… the day you two closed the deal to buy the apartment… the letter you received when you were both accepted in the Avengers tech team…

You feel the tears gathering in your eyes before they start silently rolling down your cheeks… It’s a weird sensation, it’s like meeting with an old part of yourself, an old friend. One that has never really left, but you almost don’t recognize anymore… leading to a nostalgic and longing feeling.

They’re all good memories stashed on that box… of course… you guess no one is really keen to proposedly keep a souvenir from the bad ones… but that’s not on what your focus lays right now.  Your attention is caught by a particular thing from the box. A small gasp escapes your lungs at the sight.

You look up at Eddie, whose eyes have been intensely trained on you, before you grab the object in your hands.

It’s a scrapbook you two have made through college years. While you silently and carefully go through the pages your life passes in front of your eyes. Movie and concert tickets… more pictures… a few drawings… software ideas you had together… little notes you’ve written to each other… and then, on the very last couple of pages, there they are.

You remember them. The day you two decided to write a letter to each other, telling how you wanted your future to be.

You roam your fingers through the frayed papers… you don’t have to read them again to know what’s there. You remember. Without knowing, in the end you two had written the exact same thing in both letters… among other small stuff, you two wrote you wanted a kick ass job, live in the city in an apartment of your own… and stay together forever.

Your watery gaze follows when Eddie slides down to the floor and kneels before you, taking your hands in his, “I meant every word then and I still do,” he says, softly, staring deeply into your eyes, “I can’t see my future without you… I just can’t.” He shakes his head, before it drops.

You see how his lips twist before he looks up at you again, with a saddened look on his face, “I know how that guy makes you feel…”

Your body freezes just as your heart does and you feel the precise moment when it splits in two. That heavy sensation comes back to your chest when the image of Bucky pops into your mind and suddenly there are two lives running before your eyes. One there, with Eddie, with everything you've ever dreamed of… the other running straight into Bucky's arms and leaving all of that behind.

And you know there's only one right for you.

You're brought back to reality by the sound of Eddie's voice.

 “I- I know about what happened last night, I, ahm, I’ve heard the girls…” he stammers but holds his hold on your hands when you shift on your seat and he senses your discomfort. “No… it’s ok. “I know it’s new… it’s exciting…” he continues, nodding and hastily licking his lips, “And you deserve to explore that. You do… it’s ok.” He puts on a small smile, “But I want you to know that I’m here. I’m waiting for you. I’m waiting for us… for our future. No matter how long it takes. How much fun you need to have with that guy before you realize what I already know.” He smiles wider, “Because I know you and I are it. We’ve always been it.”

You’re frowning while looking down at him. His words making their way into your senses.  

You free one hand of his secured hold to reach over and cup his smiling face.

He leans into your touch.

You make a decision. 

[annie-mit-ie]

Glimpses: Part 15 (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)

Part 1 // previous chapter <<< >>> next chapter

Summary: The Aftermath.

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: hello there! hope this makes up for all the drama I caused 😅 also, if the formatting is off: excuse me, this was written AND POSTED entirely on my phone. Have fun!!!

Tag List: @danvers97 @zafirosreverie @srtamercurio @wanatag @pulledbythestars17 @plantowl @spacehahn @sarahp-stan @agentbrownierso @our-blood-is-our-ink @fruityhahn

_____________________________________________________________________________

“NO! No no no no.” Kathryn paces up and down in her hotel room. “HOW DID THEY KNOW?”

Jennifer, who is sitting on the couch, computer in her hands, looks at Agnes, who is leaning against the wall. “I’m so sorry, Kathryn.”

“This is a disaster!” She looks devastated.

“Actually, it’s press and any press is good press. PLUS, Jeffrey is a good catch.” Jennifer scans another article.

Kathryn paces towards her, takes the computer out of her hands and sits down on the couch herself as Jennifer gets up to give her some space. Leaning back into the pillows, the actress looks like a mess. A grey tank top falls loosely of her shoulders and her unbrushed hair frames her face that is in painful distress. She puts the computer down on the tiny desk next to the couch and reads an article discussing if Jeffrey and her are Hollywood’s new favorite couple.

The article promises an update and as she clicks on the link provided, she looks at very private pictures taken of herself in her hotel room. Someone must have added the numbers up and figured out where she was staying to stalk and observe her through the window that she, stupidly, didn’t close right away last night. A short series of pictures shows her in front of the window, Jeffrey behind her. Him right in front of her as he leans in for a kiss. Another one of her getting undressed. Another one of him in just his underwear during a photo shoot for another project.

Stressed and in disbelief, she doesn’t even finish reading the captions and quickly sits up again to smack the device closed. Shaking her head, she stares at the floor.

“Kathryn? Are you okay?” Agnes asks cautiously.

——-

“Honey? Are you okay?” Alex asks as you continuously stare at your screen with empty eyes.

You continue staring. “Y/N! You worry me.”

Alex sits down again and places the phone next to her so you look like you are sitting righty with her on the couch. She has been trying to calm you down ever since she got up this morning. Right as she read the first article, she knew the situation was bad.

“Hey… it’ll all make sense in the end. She wouldn’t do that. You know that! You know the press!” Alex really tries and you appreciate it, yet, right now, it’s hard for you to show your gratitude.

“Hm…” you hum and nod with empty eyes.

Ever since you’ve read the article, you have been waiting for Kathryn to reach out. She must have seen it. Jennifer must have seen it. Maybe they all did and it’s the truth and that’s why no one is saying anything.

Alex looks at you again. “It’s probably rumors! You know how it works.” More than ever before, she wishes she could simply wrap you you up in a long and loving hug and make you feel better. Sometimes, it’s hard for her to believe that you’ve been friends for as long as you have and the actress you are bonding about had more physical contact with you than she did. What a story to tell.

“I know,” you say, but the pictures keep being projected inside your head, “but the pictures. These… the pictures! His hands, the hotel, her not talking to me. It all just adds up.”

Alex sighs. You do, too. You both sit in silence.

———-

Still staring at the floor, Kathryn tenses. “Oh my god.”

The other woman stare at her with raised eyebrows.

“Y/N!! I was thinking about the press and all and totally forgot.. she must have read it! OH GOD. She… she…”

“You should probably call her…” Agnes nods.

Jennifer shakes her head. “Not now. You’re way too emotional over all of this. We should organize the press first. Write a statement if you really want to. But really, it isn’t that big of a deal.”

Agnes turns around harshly and faces Jennifer with a stern look on her face. “Excuse me, can you please be her friend again for a minute?” she points at Kathryn, “does she look like it’s not that big of a deal?”

They both face Kathryn again, who has gotten up to get dressed. Without another word, she walks past her friends and employees and storms out of the door, on her way to discuss the matter with Jeffrey.

Meanwhile, Jennifer decides to take matters into her own hands, since Kathryn seems to be way too distressed to hold a serious conversation today. Rumors about her client being with someone aren’t exactly new, but pictures taken of private situations are unacceptable. Without consulting Kathryn again, she decides to publish the statement right away to help her friend.

——-

It’s been two days since the incident and Kathryn hasn’t contacted you yet. Heartbroken, you got updated on the story as her team released a statement declaring that Kathryn wants to keep her privacy and asks for the pictures to be removed off of the internet.

You wish she would’ve called you, or at least texted, but little did you know that she got into a fight with Jeffrey as his team called the pictures good press for him and decided to not do anything about it. Following that, Jennifer took Kathryn’s phone away so that the actress could fully concentrate on the project for the rest of the week of shooting. A rule written into the contract by Kathryn herself, as she is aware she gets carried away from time to time.

Right as she has her phone back, she runs for an empty space and tries to call you. It’s the early afternoon and you are in an online class as your phone starts ringing. Reading her name, your heart drops to the floor. All the stress adds up and gets combined with the anger you feel inside of you. You take the call.

Her face fills the screen and her eyes widen as she sees the state you are in. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”

There is a moment of silence. A moment of silence where a storm is raging inside you. “NO. No. You don’t get to be like that. You don’t get to break my heart and then come back apologizing, asking me to pretend nothing happened!” Kathryn’s mouths is slightly agape and her even widen even more. She listens. “I gave you my heart, Kathryn! My time. Do you really think I’m whoring around? Staying with older woman to play round just like that? Is that what you think I am? A toy?”

You are enraged and the words keep coming and you want to call her names and scream, hold onto her and look into her eyes. But you can’t. You can’t and that’s why your words are turning into a waterfall of emotions and you yell at her as she doesn’t have a chance to react in any way.

“I can’t believe myself,” you shake your head. “I offer myself to you and there you are. Going out and sleeping with a man. A MAN. Excuse me for not having a career. Excuse me for not having a six pack like your new friend does. What the fuck, Kathryn. What the actual fuck.”

Kathryn realizes you saw the pictures. Of course you did. She raises her hand to give you a signal that she wants to talk. Your mouth, ready to rant again, closes and you look at her.

She takes a breath. “It isn’t true.”

“It…. Isn’t?” You squint your eyes.

“It isn’t.”

————

2 days ago

————

“Come and spend the night with me.”

Kathryn swirls around. “WHAT?”

Before she can help herself, she finds herself pinned against a table that is close to the window. Jeffreys face is only inches away as he slowly starts to lean in.

“STOP.” She says and tries to lean back.

Obviously confused, Jeffrey looks at her. “I thought we had a great night. What’s the problem, sweetheart? Don’t you miss having with… other people?” He smiles.

Kathryn shakes her head. “I’m… I’m seeing someone, Jeffrey. I’m sorry if this came across wrong but tonight wasn’t a date.”

He distances himself from her, utter disbelief plastered across his face. “Oh no.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not a problem. I just… I can’t. You’re a great man, but, no.”

He is still putting space in between them, looking at her with worried eyes. “Kathryn, I would’ve never. I thought you were flirting. I thought you sent signs. God, I am sorry for coming this close to you.. I… I’m just gonna leave, alright? Okay! Good night, Kathryn.”

“JEFF!” She calls for him before he can close the door. “You’re a good looking man. I bet lots of woman would kill to be me right now, but please, ask. Don’t just assume. Yeah?”

He nods and with that he leaves her room. As the door falls into its lock, Kathryn undresses her blazer and shirt and remembers to close the curtains before stripping completely to hop into the shower.

—————-

“It isn’t…..” you repeat.

“No. And I would never do that to you.” She looks at you with sad eyes. “And I can’t believe you would think I do.”

You look at each other for a moment and the sad smile on her face breaks your heart once again.

“I would never….” She repeats, whispering quietly, but loud enough for you to notice. “I would never, because….”

She stops and looks up to lock eyes with you. You are both crying and your heartbeat skips a few beats and you think you might actually pass out any second.

“I would never because I am falling. For you. I would never because I think I am in love with you.”