#so yeah; none of the pieces in this chapter felt long enough to be standalone chapters so they've all been crammed into one

[bananxjin]

Trophy Wife || 6-1

↦ Coworker!Seokjin x Reader

↦ WC: 7,830

↦ Drama || Angst || Fluff || Slow Burn

↦ Trigger Warnings: Light swearing, Brief mentions of a dead family member, Brief mentions of infidelity

↦ Tagged: @lysannnnaa​, @vanillanjin​

↦ Summary: You thought you knew what you wanted – You were sure you knew what you wanted. You thought the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage with your fiance, Touru Kim; the love of your life, the future father of your children, and the man of your dreams, but things happen. Events begin to unfold, and the relationship falls apart. You see the true colors of your husband-to-be, and you realize that maybe he’s not what you built him up to be. With everything laid out in front of you, you knew the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage.

Just not with Touru.

✨ Masterlist ✨

The weeks that followed your late arrival home were uncomfortable to say the least. If you thought Touru was overbearing before, you clearly weren’t prepared for whatever new attitude he’d come equipped with this time.

The following morning, you woke up early enough to shower and take some extra time to get ready for work. You didn’t get much sleep, and you were still upset from the night before. Not only that, but Jin had the next few days off, so you wouldn’t have any pick-me-ups from the walking ray of sunshine himself.

Then again, it’s not his job to pick you up everytime something goes wrong.

Touru was sitting in his usual spot at the kitchen table when you emerged from the bathroom, sipping coffee and going over something on his tablet with a focused glint in his eye. You took a deep breath and smoothed your blouse out, passing him in a silent stride so you could make yourself some coffee.

“Did you sleep well last night?” “Mhm.”

You bit the inside of your cheek at his curt response. The animosity in the air was something akin to the calm before the storm. You hated the anticipation that came with waiting. You could handle the arguing and the aftermath, but this silence was almost too much for you to bear.

Nevertheless, you waited. It was all you could do. With shaky hands, you carefully cupped your mug and tilted it against your lips. Inhaling through your nose as you tried to make the best out of a bad situation until Touru finally spoke up.

“About last night…” “Yeah?”

He set his tablet down and turned around in his chair so he could see you. His stern glare already told you so much about what was to come, but still you held onto hope. Held your ground with a sturdy shield as you awaited his next words.

“I want you to start sending me updates when you’re not home.”

You furrowed your brows in a silent accusation. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He mimicked your tone. You set your coffee mug down so you could grip the edge of the counter. “I always text you where I’m at; who I’m with--”

“Except for last night.” “It was one time, Touru. And I apologized for it.” “I don’t care.” He said, forcefully standing out of his seat. “I had no idea where you were at-” “You knew I was with Yuna!”

No you weren’t.

You prayed a silent plea to your guilty conscience to just please be quiet. Just this once. It took some reaffirmation on your part before you could straighten your shoulders and look him in the eye again. A weak spot in your confidence that wouldn’t go amiss by him.

“Do I know that though, (Y/n)?” He demanded in a low tone, his nostrils flared in defiance. The question was enough to catch you off-guard. A dent in your armor that forced you to back down, and he took the opportunity to keep going. “How do I know you weren’t with him, huh? How do I know you didn’t shut your phone off so you could enjoy your evening with another man?”

“Touru…” You frowned, unable to come up with the right words to reassure him. You already struggled enough trying to convince yourself that you were allowed to find balance with your relationship and Jin’s friendship, but when you stopped to consider how you might be making your fiance feel, that all came crumbling down because deep down, you knew. You knew part of him was right to be suspicious of you, and you had no defense against that.

“I. Expect. Updates.” He enunciated each word carefully. “And if I text you, I expect you to text me back. I shouldn’t have to try to call five or six times just to make sure my fiance is okay.”

You frowned and clasped your hands in front of you, looking down at your feet instead of him. “Touru, you know I can’t be using my phone when I’m on the job--”

“Then I expect phone calls during your breaks.” He hissed, walking closer to you. “You’ve been acting awfully suspicious lately. I swear, sometimes it feels like I don’t even know the woman I’m living with.” He spat with an exasperated sigh. You couldn’t say or do anything. Once again, he’d struck down your confidence; your defiance with a sharpened spear. A reminder that he has the upper hand in this relationship, and it’s going to stay that way.

“I just… I want to know that we are secure in our relationship. It’d make me feel better to hear from you.”

“Right.” You breathed. “I understand.”

You bent for him just like you’ve always done. With the hope that things would gradually get better over time. By the end of the week at the latest, you were sure everything would be fine.

But as the days turned into weeks, Touru’s protective ways only grew stronger, and your patience grew weaker. Eventually, you started having to keep your phone in your pocket as Touru’s messages came in aggressive waves with passive-aggressive undertones.

Being part-time, your schedule wasn’t always the same, and it took some time for Touru to understand that. You found yourself having to explain on several occasions how your breaks had been scheduled for you, and just because you had a break at noon today doesn’t mean it’ll be at noon tomorrow.

Somehow you’d hoped the phone calls would be comforting in a way, like maybe having the opportunity to speak to each other would ease some of the stress, but you were sorely mistaken. Oftentimes, you’d find yourself rushing to the backroom just to avoid the brunt of his interrogation. The sooner it began, the sooner it could end.

If you didn’t call him first, then he’d call you, and god forbid the phone call went through to voicemail the first time. Just a couple days ago, you’d switched breaks with Kyla. She’d been feeling unwell, and you insisted she took hers first. It’d already been a busy day, plus you were picking up some of the extra slack for the Home department, so it completely slipped your mind to tell Touru you wouldn’t be on your break for another hour. You ended up with ten missed calls and a couple of very angry voicemails, and another night of sleeping on the couch.

The calls never lasted very long. He kept you on the line long enough to ask where you were and who you were working with that day. Occasionally he’d ask if you’d seen Seokjin if you hadn’t mentioned him. As time went on, you tried to make the calls feel a bit more personable. Cutting in with just enough time to ask if he was having a good day, or if he’d eaten lunch, but his answers were always short and curt. It took a week of consistent calling before he finally started responding when you’d tell him, “I love you”. You never told him how much that hurt you. Not since all this started, and you couldn’t shake the constant reminder that it was your fault.

Some days, he’d pick you up from work. Most days, he’d let you know, but there were a few times he “surprised” you. Although the ride wouldn’t be any more comfortable than chatting over the phone. He’d keep a straight face the whole ride home, asking about your day as soon as he saw you, and then silence. You could officially add this to the list of things you felt guilty about. Making the trip into town only made his drive home that much longer as your work was out of the way for him. It probably was a chore for him to come get you, but he never complained. Still, you couldn’t tell if he was doing this to make a point or just to make himself feel better.

On top of everything else, Jin had become seemingly worried about the new habits your fiance had picked up. As much as you appreciated Jin’s concern, it was well and truly the last thing you wanted to talk about when you weren’t having to deal with it.

“You’re sure everything’s okay?” “Yes, I’m sure, Jin!” You snapped with a strained smile after he’d asked about it for the third time, “I’ve just been picking up more hours recently, and we’re kind of busy outside of work, too. Touru’s just worried about my well-being is all.”

You didn’t feel any better about lying to Jin than you did to Touru, but what else could you do? You didn’t want Jin to see the rough edges surrounding your relationship. Not because he was an outsider, but because you were scared of what he might think if he found out. You couldn’t bear the thought of him trying to sympathize with you, or even worse, trying to fix the problems like Dahyun does. What you were afraid of more than anything was letting Jin find out how Touru feels. What he thinks about a man he’s never even met. After watching it happen with so many other friends in the past, you’d convinced yourself that Touru’s less than friendly attitude would absolutely run Jin off, and you weren’t going to let it happen. You were perfectly capable of juggling your relationship with Touru and your friendship with Jin. You were determined to do it.

Enjoy it while it lasts, you reminded yourself. Because one day, you won’t have him anymore.

__

Valentine’s day, and you were working the closing shift. Not that it mattered since it’s never been a holiday you and Touru celebrated as a couple. “A corporate scam” is what he always called it. Always annoyed that people were so willing to pay the price markups for chocolate in the name of romance when you could celebrate your relationship at any other time of the year, and without all the gaudy decorations.

You always understood why he wouldn’t want to celebrate it. Doesn’t mean you didn’t want to indulge in some of the cliche sappiness that came along with the holiday itself, but you weren’t about to add onto the already growing list of reasons why you and Touru shouldn’t get along.

You sighed, making your way back to the breakroom. It’s not like it was even that big of a deal this year anyway. You worked most of the day away, not to mention your relationship had been strained for nearly a month now with little petty arguments every other night. It’d been one of the longest fights you two had ever been through, and you were beginning to worry about whether or not it was ever going to end.

At least you got to enjoy it a little bit, though. Irene and Seulgi left little chocolates in the associates lockers and surprised everyone with an additional associate discount which ran through the rest of the weekend. You took some time to browse some of the Womens clothing while you were on your shift, but you didn’t see yourself getting much shopping done in the next two days.

You’d reserved this weekend to go visit wedding venues with Touru, but due to the lasting fight, he ended up cancelling two of the showings. One because he “Didn’t have the time”, and the other purely out of spite, only further dragging out the argument especially after you found out about the outrageous cancellation fees he forked out.

The thought alone had you frowning as you turned the coupon over in your hands to read about the promotional offers. Yeah. Who were you kidding? You probably wouldn’t be in the mood or even have the time to do any shopping this weekend. Oh well, you thought as you tossed the coupon back into your locker. It’s the thought that counts.

As you began pulling your belongings out, you were surprised to find a folded piece of mini cardstock fly out of your locker, and onto the floor. You raised your eyebrows in surprise as you picked it up. It was pink with white lace trim. On the front was a cartoon style picture of a s’mores with, “I need s’more friends like you!” printed underneath in an adorable font.

You couldn’t help the stupid grin spreading across your face as you opened the card up. “Happy Valentine’s day! Thank you for always being so kind to me!” Signed Jin with a little heart next to his name. It was such a simple little gesture, but one that had your heart pounding in your chest as you continued to stare at his name at the end. What a dork, stealing your signature style.

He must’ve slipped it in after you’d clocked on…  

“I see you got Jin’s annual Valentine’s day card.” Kyla giggled as she opened up her locker beside yours. “Oh, yeah! He gave one to you as well?”

“Everyone gets one. He’s snuck them in our lockers every Valentine’s Day for the last three years.” She giggled, “I don’t know. I think it’s a sweet little gesture.”

You frowned looking back down at the pink paper in your hands. Of course he did this for every associate; that’s just the kind of person he was after all. “It is a pretty sweet gesture, isn’t it.” You agreed softly in response, checking to make sure Kyla wasn’t looking before you slipped the card safely into your bag.

“Yeah, but you should’ve seen the way he went all out for Seulgi last year. He left like a legit Valentine’s Day card on her desk with a pack of her favorite mini candy bars and bought her coffee. Like he did a lot.” She giggled.

“Wait, what?” Her sudden confession left you feeling a little dumbfounded. You almost knocked your head into the door of her locker when you turned to look at her. “Oh, he hasn’t told you?” She sounded equally as surprised as you did, giving you a look as if to say, “Oopsie!”

You just shook your head. “Ah, well you didn’t hear it from me, but Jin has the biggest crush on Seulgi.” She leaned in close as she explained. As if you two weren’t the only ones in the breakroom. “Well, he used to like her anyway. And I’m pretty sure they were fooling around for a period of time, but…” She shrugged. “All I know is something happened between those two. They would flirt when they thought no one was looking, and Jin would occasionally spend his lunch with her. Then one day, it all just stopped.”

Kyla continued to struggle with her backpack in her locker as if everything she was saying was completely normal. Almost like she didn’t just tell you one of Jin’s biggest secrets. You tried to conjure up a response, but you couldn’t. Your head felt like it was spinning, and your breathing had turned shallow. Almost like there was a rock sitting on your lungs “I… Did either of them ever talk about it?”

Kyla shook her head no. “Well, kinda. Not face to face with any of us. I only know what I know because I heard them talking once when I was coming out of the bathroom. Seulgi said something about “You’re coming back to mine, right?” and Jin asked if her boyfriend would be there this time.”

“Wait, did he ruin her relationship?” “I don’t think so.” Kyla responded, giving you a hard look. “No, anyway I brought it up to him, and he begged me to keep it hush. He just said him and Seulgi were doing each other a favor.” She rolled her eyes. “I told him I’m not as innocent as I look; he can just tell me they’re fucking, and he was surprised, but he just kinda brushed it off. Told me he felt like it was more than that.”

You nodded and looked away, wondering how in the hell you were supposed to process all of this. You really wanted to ask Jin all about it, maybe even force him to explain it to you because Kyla’s retelling certainly didn’t leave you feeling confident. Maybe you gave him more credit than he was worth.

Playboy Seokjin, huh?

That doesn’t sound like your Jin.

“Anyway,” Kyla sighed, hauling her backpack over her shoulder before slamming her locker door shut. “I’m gonna head out. I’ve got a big project due Monday. Enjoy your weekend, okay?”

You smiled and nodded. “You too! And good luck!”

The world seemed to right itself once you were alone in the breakroom. The air felt normal, and you could breathe. Maybe focus on getting home.

But it wasn’t right. It wasn’t normal. First of all, how could Kyla drop an absolute bombshell of a rumor like Jin’s affair on your shoulders? Second of all, Jin being a homewrecker? Jin being someone who would screw around with his higher-ups? That didn’t sound like him at all.

Then again, the guy you know could very well just be a persona, and very thought of it left you with a heavy feeling both in your heart and the pit of your stomach. It left you questioning every interaction, every compliment, everything you’ve had with Jin. That’s not to say you’ve had very much with him, but it was enough. His words, although soft, always hit you hard, and they stayed with you.

He almost kissed you…

What if he wasn’t really playing with you? What if he was just trying to get you into bed with him?

You still probably would have. Oh god, you would have, but it would’ve hurt so bad the next morning to find out he wasn’t a committed man. It was a bittersweet realization that left your heart yearning for something it couldn’t have. Even if you weren’t with Touru; even if you’d allow yourself to explore these feelings, you don’t actually believe Jin would return them.

You smiled sadly and closed your locker. It’s probably a good thing to know what you know now. It hurts like hell, but hopefully it’ll be enough for you to get over him.

__

It was early Saturday morning. You and Touru were on the way to some ritzy little country town where you’d be getting the grand tour of…

Well.

You weren’t really sure what the place was called. You didn’t really care either. Of all the venue tours to get cancelled, you were sure this one would top the list. It was some exclusive golf club retreat with poolside service and horseback riding. Very fancy. Very opposite of what you’d ever dreamed of.

They only had one slot left today at nine O’clock in the morning. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue, but it was nearly a two hour drive through the countryside on a two lane highway, and after the hellish month you’d been subjected to, you really weren’t looking forward to this extended downtime with Touru. If you were being honest with yourself, all you wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep your day away.

At least you had tomorrow to look forward to -- A long awaited brunch with Chae and Dahyun. They recently went on a trip to one of the Disney parks, and they only just got home earlier that morning. Dahyun sounded overjoyed when you called her the other day, insisting she couldn’t tell the story over the phone, and it had to be in person. As happy as you were to see your best friends, you couldn’t find it in yourself to express any of that joy for the time being.

“This is nice, isn’t it?” Touru sighed, resting one arm on the driver side door while he controlled the steering wheel with the other. “We haven’t had time like this together in awhile. I’ve actually been looking forward to this drive, and seeing this venue.”

You hummed in response. Your hands lay crossed in your lap as the scenery outside your window was passing you in a dull blur. “This place is rumored to be one of the hottest wedding venues in the area! It’s really popular, and they treat the newlyweds like royalty.”

“That’s really nice.” You murmured, turning briefly to give him a small smile. “Hopefully it’ll live up to our standards then.” The two of you fell silent once again with only the soft sound of smooth jazz to fill the silence.

Your bag felt like a dumbbell lying in your lap. Knowing the Valentine’s day card still lay in there, or the way Jin’s comforting voice was just a phone call away.

He’s at work right now. It’s not even like he’d be able to talk to you.

You frowned to yourself. If he’s not busy with work, then he’s probably busy with Seulgi.

“You know I was thinking, after the tour is over, we could go to this little seafood buffet,” He chirped, “It’s right across the street, and their food is so good. I’ve been there plenty of times. You’ll love it!” He went on and on, looking over at you to see your reaction, but you looked as sad as ever. Touru forced out another sigh, one much heavier than the last after seeing you weren’t nearly as enthusiastic about today as he was, much to his disappointment.

“I’d really appreciate it if you could drop the attitude before we get to the venue.” You frowned at him. “I don’t think I have an attitude.” You replied. “I’m just tired, Touru. I worked over thirty hours this week, then I closed last night, and I had to wake up early this morning.” You explained softly, “Surely you know how I feel right now?”

He didn’t respond for a moment, taking a moment to switch lanes before focusing back on the highway in front of him. “Well,” He breathed. “You already know where I stand. You can quit whenever you’re ready.” He replied bitterly. “You’re only hurting yourself at this point anyway.”

You had no choice but to turn away as your face contorted in anger. You couldn’t bear to speak or even look at him right now.

__

The venue tour lasted much longer than it needed to. The venue in question, which you learned was Silver Soul Country Club upon stepping into the vicinity, was every rich man’s wet dream. Including your rich man.

There was no denying the beauty of it all. It was like a shared mansion with the patrons walking around dressed to the hilt in fancy clothes. Even the staff wore beautiful uniforms that looked like they were probably hand washed and ironed every morning. The tour guide was incredibly kind, explaining to you and Touru not only what you should expect the day of your wedding, but the discounts you’d receive if you chose to join their club before or the day of your wedding.

Despite how chilly it was, you witnessed some of the club members on the backs of horses, enjoying their day. A couple of men were out on the golf course who Touru was happily chatting up, laughing and discussing bits of their personal lives. Touru even introduced you to them as “My future wife”.

You didn’t enjoy it.

It was a little after one O’clock once you and Touru finally sat down to eat at the buffet. Sat across from Touru, you took a moment to check your phone while you ate, leaving Jin’s messages for last.

Jin: [Image] Augh! We’re so busy today!! I wish u were here to help me )): Jin: You had that venue showing today, right? Lmk what it was like!! Eventually I’m gonna get married one day, and I trust you to make only the best wedding decisions! ^^ Jin: Fucking christ. I’m working w/ Mark again today. Jin: It wouldn’t be such a big fucking deal if he didn’t have to stop me everytime I walked past him to tell me about the semester he spent in france. Jin: Like. Dude. I don’t give a shit. Half the time I don’t even believe the shit he’s saying, it just makes him sound pretentious. Jin: [Image] Be honest: Would I look good in this shirt?

You smiled, using one thumb to respond quickly.

You: Would’ve rather worked today. We just spent almost three hours watching rich people have fun //: You: -10000/10 Do Not Recommend You: Go easy on Mark! I know he drives u nuts, but he’s still a kid )): Probably just wants to impress you. Ur basically like the superstar of that place after all! You: Yes, of course you’d look good in that shirt! You look great in pink! ^^ You: Hope ur day is going better now!! What time do u get off?

With your phone now lying face down on the table, you wanted to try eating at least a little bit. You ended up skipping breakfast, and the tour left you hungry, but you didn’t feel well. You were a little too worried about what Kyla told you last night. Your mind raced with thoughts of Jin and Seulgi together. The image of them holding hands or him kissing her cheek. It was almost enough to make you queasy.

You tried thinking back on the times you saw them together at work; tried to remember if they acted any different around each other versus when around other people. You’ve told Jin so much about yourself -- More than what you’re comfortable sharing with most people. Surely if he was in a relationship, that’s something he would’ve told you? Then again, sleeping with the boss may not be something he wants to put on blast. It’s not like he was ever gonna introduce her to you as his girlfriend.

Now that you thought about it… He hasn’t introduced you to Yoongi or Hobi either. Actually, when you guys dropped by his apartment to pick up his belongings, you noticed neither Hobi nor Yoongi were home. Jin did mention that Yoongi was making some preparations since he’d be studying abroad come the fall, but what about Hobi?

You frowned, knowing Jin didn’t have to really introduce you to anyone in his life if he didn’t want to, but the thought of it only further cemented the facts in your mind.

Why do you want Jin to want you so bad? You’re getting married soon, and you’ll have a family with the love of your life.

…But are you sure this is what you really want?

“I was actually thinking…” Touru interrupted your thoughts as he was pulling his napkin away from his face. “After we get married, we could probably get a place out here.”

Your eyes went wide with terror as his mere suggestion sent a shiver down your spine. “But we’ve barely lived in this house a couple years!” You reminded him, “I thought this was supposed to be the house we’d raise our children in. They’d be close their grandmother, and--”

“But isn’t this place so much nicer?” He interjected in a whiny tone. “They’d really only see her over the holidays anyway. Not to mention if we move here, I can start taking the railway to work. It’d cut down my travel time so much. Then you’d be able to use the car for the children.”

You frowned at the thought. Move way out here? Away from everything you know? Away from your mom, and your friends?

Away from Jin?

“I guess, but… What about my job?” Touru rolled his eyes. “You need to let that go. You’re not going to need it after we get married anyway. We’ll be starting our life together, and you’ll be too busy with the kids.” He went on as he broke open one of the clams on his plate. “You’ll have better things to worry about rather than dealing with the public.”

You stared down at the liquid in the bowl in front of you, having completely lost your appetite. You knew Touru was just trying to do what was best for the relationship, but your heart wasn’t in it this time. If anything, your feelings were hurt by his dismissive attitude. You remember the day you and Touru signed the lease for that house. How the tears sprung in your eyes as he kissed you in the midst of his excitement talking about,  “One step closer to our little family, baby.” You’d been thrilled to hear those words. Thrilled that he was so ready to go above and beyond for you. For your future family.

Everything felt so surreal at the time. It felt like you guys were a real couple with real goals and a strong relationship. You really thought the planets had aligned perfectly so that everything was just falling into its natural place. Finally, after years of hardship and heartbreak, you really felt like you were being rewarded. You’d get the domestic bliss you’ve always dreamed of having. You’d live out the rest of your life as happy as could be. With your husband and children by your side, and your mother's unconditional love and support.

One, big happy family.

Looking back on all that almost felt like some kind of fever dream, or maybe like you’re watching a fool dive head first into the deep end of one enormous mistake. Were you making the right decision rushing into something like this with your high school sweetheart? What happened along the way that’s made you feel like everything’s gone terribly wrong? Did you miss something?

The deep-rooted sadness sat like a heavy weight on your shoulders, and it was starting to feel like it wouldn’t be letting up anytime soon. All these questions, and no one that could answer them. Why couldn’t you just be happy? You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell him things were moving too fast, and you wanted to stay at your little retail job just a little bit longer. That you wanted to get your degree and spend this time doing things as a couple you haven’t gotten to do yet.

But this was always the plan, wasn’t it? It’s why you left nursing school. It’s why this dumb retail job was only temporary. It never was a means to an end. It was so you’d have something to do while you waited for your real life to begin. And now that it’s just over the horizon, you’re… Scared? Nervous?

You have no reason to be. As long as you have Touru by your side, everything will be okay.

Right?

__

The scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air as the waitress walked by your table. She offered refills to you and your friends, who were giggling away in the midst of their story. Seeing your trio in such a fit of excitement, she offered to come back later, and continued on her way.

“So after all that, Dahyun was pulling me by the hand in that cute way, ya know… Wait, I think I still have the photo!” Chae giggled as she went looking for the picture on her phone. Dahyun smiled at her, “The sun was starting to set, and I’d asked Chae like a million times if she was getting tired because we’d been there almost all day, and I wanted her to be excited--”

“Here it is!” Chae exclaimed, cutting her fiance off as she shoved the phone at you from across the table. You took it in your hands, smiling down at the screen. She was right, it looked like one of those cliche pictures of a girlfriend pulling their partner towards their next destination. You took in the little details, like all of Chae’s cute bracelets and how her nails were painted white while Dahyun’s was painted pink. Dahyun’s long hair, which had been deep blue at the time was curled, but it looked a little wind-whipped from all the rides they’d been on.

“I really wasn’t expecting it!” Chae laughed. “But she pulled me to the wishing well in Magic Kingdom and she picked me up and sat me on the edge of it--”

“She looked adorable, too! She was sitting there with her legs crossed one over the other, and her hands clasped in her lap!” Dahyun sighed, “She actually looked like a princess.”

“Your princess.” She giggled, kissing Dahyun’s cheek.

“So, she set me up there, and took my hands in hers. And she was like, ‘Chae…’,” She sighed her own name dramatically, looking over at a smiling Dahyun. “And she goes, ‘You know I love you with all my heart, right? The last seven years have been some of the happiest of my life-”

“Stoooopp! You’re making me sound sappy!” “It’s because you ARE sappy!” She laughed as Dahyun leaned all of her body weight into her, burying her face in her fiance’s thick hoodie. “But she finally got down on one knee, and she asked me if I’d marry her-”

“And she started laughing!” Dahyun yelled, looking back at you. “She was laughing and crying at the same time, and I was so confused! And then she reached into the back pocket of her shorts and pulled out her own ring!”

Little tears of joy pricked at the corners of your eyes as you smiled at them. “Why am I not surprised.” You snorted, but the girls didn’t say anything, they just kept laughing at the situation. The rims of Dahyun’s eyes were even beginning to turn pink like she was on the verge of crying.

“Awe, Dahyunnie!” Chae smiled, holding her fiance’s head against her shoulder. “I love you so much.” Dahyun whispered while Chae pressed kisses to her head. “I love you too.”

You smiled, bringing your latte to your lips and turning to look out the window situated at your booth so you could give the couple a moment of privacy.

You and Dahyun had been friends since middle school. You grew up together. She was there for you even more so than Touru was when you found out about your father’s passing. You were the first person she told she was a lesbian at fifteen years old, and you were there for her, holding her hand one year later when she told her parents. You’ve watched her relationship with Chaeyoung as it bloomed, becoming what it was today, and you couldn’t be happier to be here celebrating their engagement with her. With both of them.

“Sorry,” Dahyun laughed, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes. “I uh… I have allergies.” She snorted. “Yeah! She’s highly allergic to being in love with me.” Chae stated proudly, gently poking and prodding at Dahyun’s side until she was laughing, begging her to stop.

You leaned your chin into your hand. The sunshine reflected off Chae’s deep black hair as she laughed at another one of Dahyun’s antics. They were lost in their own little world, the playfulness that shined in their eyes and sprung with joy in their laughter, it was a bittersweet feeling that was left crawling up the back of your spine. You couldn’t pinpoint why until you started thinking about all the questions you’d had yesterday. Then you realized…

You envied them.

You looked on intently as the couple continued their back and forth until finally, the question you’d been wondering just slipped out. “Have you two ever had doubts about your relationship?”

Both girls stopped instantly to look over at you, although they seemed confused, their smiles remained the same. “I mean, that didn’t…” Your face shone with embarrassment as you cleared your throat. “Would you take any of it back is what I’m trying to ask.” You offered awkwardly. You didn’t want to come off as bitter after they’ve just shared such wonderful news with you, but they both knew you better than that.

Dahyun snorted at your question. “Of course not! I wouldn’t, at least.” She looked to her partner with a loving smile. “Have you ever doubted our relationship, babe?”

Chae hummed, popping a chocolate covered strawberry into her mouth before leaning into Dahyun’s side. “Not for a second! I mean we’ve had our fair share of arguments and there were some major problems we had to work through, but we always came out on the other side stronger.” She giggled before leaning up to kiss the other girl on the cheek. “I couldn’t be happier with Dahyunnie.”

You gave them a faux smile as you mulled over their words. You’ve been with Touru for nearly as long as they’ve been together. You’ve been through hell and highwater with him, and you know you’d do anything for him, so why were you suddenly getting cold feet?

“Are you perhaps projecting, Ms. (Y/Ln)?” Chae giggled suddenly, but her unexpected question caused you to choke on your coffee. With your face now painted a light shade of pink and a dribble of coffee, the couple laughed at your demise while you dried your chin and cheeks.

“Of course not!” You exclaimed defensively. “I just wanted to ask because…”

Why did you ask? You were not projecting, were you? You couldn’t come up with a clever answer quick enough before Dahyun was chiming in. “Weren’t you just texting me a couple weeks ago about helping a certain Jin move into his new apartment?”

“Ugh. Don’t remind me.” You rested your forehead in the palm of your hand as if you were expecting to nurse an oncoming migraine.

“Didn’t end the way you wanted to?” She pushed further as she wiggled her eyebrows, causing you to shriek in absolute shock. “Guys! This isn’t funny!” You whined, but they obviously thought otherwise.

“Do y’all think… I don’t know, that Jin is trying to ruin my relationship?” “Honey, I don’t think Jin’s trying to ruin anything for you.” Chae sighed. “I think he may have feelings for you. Either that, or he just really enjoys teasing you.”

You wrung your fingers together in your lap, unable to look her in the eye.“I just feel like sometimes it’d be better if I quit hanging around him, ya know?”

“But…” Dahyun interjected, arms crossed in front of her chest. You glanced at her sheepishly before training your eyes on the food in front of you.

“But I’d really miss him.” Chae frowned and reached across the table to take your hands in hers. “I’m sorry, beloved. The heart wants what the heart wants.”

She’s right, and you knew she was right. You just didn’t want to admit it. “Not to sound cheesy, but I think it was love at first sight.” Dahyun stated casually as she looked down at her freshly manicured nails.

“Excuse me?” You retorted, giving her a look, but she just shrugged at you. “I mean it’s entirely possible. Think about it: He’s this insanely good-looking guy with a friendly disposition. You, a woman who’s already spoken for wants to find some kind of flaw to protect yourself--”

She rolled her eyes, making a circular hand gesture as if that was going to take her words back. “Let me rephrase that: To convince yourself he wouldn’t be right; wouldn’t be any better a lover than Touru, but maybe you need to face facts… I don’t know. The way I see it, he’s the kind of man you wish Touru would be.” She explained effortlessly, leaving you utterly shell shocked.

“And to put the cherry on top: He cares about you. I mean, he really cares about you. Anybody with a brain and two working eyes can figure that one out.” She snorted, “He’s clearly attracted to you, and by the looks of it, you’re attracted to him, too. You should leave Touru for him, I certainly think you’d be happier that way.” She made her final declaration before popping one of the last few chocolate covered strawberries into her mouth.

You sat there in awe staring at her, trying to comprehend the MLA essay that just tumbled out of her mouth. You were almost impressed with Dahyun’s mind. The way she could overanalyze you, and get it right on the first try, but having it explained to you in such an obvious way was a real wakeup call. Now that they had you alone, she and Chae were going to force you to acknowledge how you felt.

”You only say all that because you don’t like Touru.” You responded weakly in the faintest hope that maybe the subject would be dropped.

“Yeah?” Dahyun spat. “You and I both know -- Chae knows. Jihyo knows. Your mom knows; my mom knows! Everybody and their grandparents know!” Dahyun dragged on and on, only coming to a sudden halt when she caught your look of unamusement.

“None of us like Touru. Not even a little bit.” She sighed, falling back into her seat.

“He’s a decent lover--” “Okay, but you deserve better than decent. You deserve an amazing lover!” Chae exclaimed, “Someone who’s going to cherish you! Someone you’d be hurting for if you let them go!”

“Kinda like Jin!” Dahyun added, giving you a knowing smile. You just looked back out the window, feeling more conflicted now than you had this morning or even yesterday.

“I'd hurt if I had to let Touru go…” You muttered stubbornly. “You guys just need to get to know him better.”

“Sweetie. We’ve known him since you started dating him five and a half years ago.” Dahyun deadpanned, “I don’t think there’s much more we can learn.” Chae nodded in agreement.

“I know this probably isn’t the best advice, but have you considered…” Chae sighed, “I don’t know… Having a bit of a fling with Jin? Just to see how he’d make you feel?”

“How would that solve my problem?!”

“I mean if he’s nice and then he’s also good in bed, it would only be more incentive to leave Touru’s useless ass in the dirt!” Chae pushed. You shoved your back harder against the suede fabric of the booth, hoping it would swallow you up and you would no longer be forced to be involved in this dumb conversation.

“Wasn’t the whole point of us going out to brunch to celebrate you guys?!” You shot forward like someone had just launched your body out of a slingshot and nearly sent your coffee tumbling across the table. Bless Dahyun and her sharp reflexes.

“We’ve celebrated enough for one brunch. We’re talking about your love life now.” Chae reminded you.

“Or a lack thereof.” Dahyun snorted. “You can’t tell me I’m wrong! I know how much of an asshole he is-”

“Guys.” You sighed. “Look. Even if I wanted to… Entertain the idea of sleeping with Jin,” Your voice was soft and shy as you took a quick glance around the restaurant. No way in hell you were gonna let him show up unannounced and insert himself into the party while you were discussing the idea of fucking him.

“Someone told me he was probably already seeing someone. Or even if he’s not seeing her, he’s crazy about her, so I don’t think I’d even have a chance with him.” You gave them a quick rundown of what Kyla told you -- Taking quick, paranoid glances over your shoulder every once in a while just to be safe.

“But they don’t act like this anymore?” Chae asked curiously.

“That’s what Kyla told me.” You sighed, “But they could’ve just… Gotten caught? HR could’ve said something? Some workplaces don’t allow couples to work together, much less where one partner is in a position of power I could imagine.” You tried to reason, but she just rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, it sounds like a thing of the past. I wouldn’t worry about it.” Dahyun shrugged. “Okay, well what about him apparently coming between Seulgi and her boyfriend?”

“You don’t know if that’s true.” Dahyun fired back. Her patience was deteriorating, but you could tell she was trying to keep her cool. The conversation was quickly turning into an argument. Maybe not with Chae, but Dahyun was ready to knock some sense into you, and lord only knows her fiance would back her up. Not to mention how much it bothered you that they could make all these assumptions based purely on what you’ve told them. Aside from that one night with Dahyun at the bar, they’ve never even met the guy.

“I really think you should go after him if you’re in love with him. What good is it doing either of you, hurting? Ignoring the tension that’s clearly there?” Chae insisted.

“Nobody is in love with anybody!” You retorted in defense. No matter how much you tried to deny it, their advice did sound tempting. Sounded like something that you’ve wanted for a while now, but it was one thing to confirm those feelings for yourself. To know you’re crushing on one of your best friends and coming to terms with it. You could accept it and live with it. Albeit painfully so, but you could do it.

It was a matter of voicing those feelings to the world; to the man on the receiving end of those feelings. You’d be putting so much at stake. Not just with your marriage, but with Jin himself. If Touru’s bad attitude towards Jin wouldn’t run him off, then asking him to have sex with you would.

“I’ve come to terms with it, you guys.” You sighed. “Jin’s a kind man and everything, but  imagine if he actually were dating Seulgi. I could never come between them. I wouldn’t even want to.” You regarded them with a small smile. “Besides, I can’t hurt Touru like that. We’ve been together for so long, and I still love him. We’re just under a lot of stress right now is all.” You nodded to yourself.

“It’ll be okay.”

Dahyun’s lips stretched into a thin line, the tip of her tongue faintly outlined in her cheek. Your answer clearly wasn’t the one she wanted to hear, but she knew how stubborn you were. Knew there wasn’t much she could say to sway you one way or the other.

That doesn’t mean she wouldn’t try.

“Fine.” She bit back with a cat-like glare, “Do what you want, but I’m telling you For a Fact: Touru isn’t good for you.” Her hands were tightly clenched into fists on the table until her wrists went limp, and her arms slunk down beneath the surface.

“He’s a controlling man who’s looking out for nobody else but himself. If you don’t want to go after Jin, fine. You do you. But you need to take a step back and see Touru for who he really is, and I’d suggest doing it before you’re stuck with him for the rest of your life.”

[goodnightyoongi]

Yoongi x fem!reader pt4

genre: hurt/comfort/smut

rating: E

word count: 4,5k

summary: In this series, Yoongi and you are childhood friends, and he’s helping you through some issues you’ve been facing lately, while your relationship slowly blossoms into something more. 

warnings: implied depression, self-critical thoughts, EXPLICIT SMUT (oral sex) in the later part of this chap. Start and finish are indicated

Can be read standalone, but is part of a chaptered series

Part I: Catalyze

Part II: Flicker

Part III: Rise

��...and yeah, that’s...why I haven’t been keeping up with my schoolwork.”

You finished the sentence with a timid glance at the curly-haired woman on the other side of the desk. Her hands were knitted on top of the table, one of her eyebrows slightly arched. You understood why. Answering the question “so what seems to be the issue here,  Miss Y/LN ?” hadn’t been easy, and you were pretty sure it hadn’t made sense, either. 

Basically, you had just stuttered some disjointed, vague gibberish about "feeling a little under the weather lately". Aka, nowhere close to the truth. And now, the anxiety was making itself known. In the form of beads of moisture running down your neck, and your hands fidgeting in your lap.

Because you didn’t want to be here. In fact you wanted to be anywhere but here.

But once again, Yoongi had showed himself perfectly able to push you into motion and help get you back on track. Using his steady, encouraging flow of reassurances, and fingers laced into yours as he pulled you with him to your final destination. And now you were here. Squirming uncomfortably in a chair in the university counselors office, and discussing why you had fallen behind on your studies, all entirely against your will if you were honest.

Your eyes wandered over the neat rows of folders on white shelves, the piles of documents on her desk, the sterile academic environment. Run, is what your brain told you. Just get up, walk out, escape this situation – but Yoongi’s hand, inconspicuously resting on your thigh, prevented it.

Because he’d insisted on coming with. And now he sat next to  you, like a parent there to discuss his child’s progression. Clad in his usual uniform, black hoodie and snapback pulled far over his forehead, all in order to avoid being recognized. It worked, and you alone had the counselors undivided attention.

“So, if I understand correctly,” she started, pushing her half-moon glasses further up her nose. “You’ve been...feeling ill? That's why you’ve been absent?”

"Uhm...kind of..."

“I see here that you have a lot of overdue assignments...and you haven't attended classes...but it would be best if you book an appointment with the university healthcare, if you have a condition that interferes with your ability to study.”

Your ears heated up as you digested this information. A tiny, sober voice within you told you yes. Do it, open mouth, voice the issue. Another, more overpowering and toxic one told you no. Repeatedly, until it was basically chanting it like a whole firing squad in your brain.

“No, no, I don’t need to. I...uh, I’ll make sure to finish all the assignments, ma'am. Just been feeling a little...unwell, but, yeah. I’m fine.”

You ignored Yoongi’s pointed glare, along with his attempts to kick you in the shin under the desk. Your counselor expressed clear puzzlement over the sudden change in your narrative.

“Oh? But didn’t you say that you’ve been feeling down and experiencing difficulty with keeping up with your studies?”

“Uh...yeah but, it was just a temporary slump,” you lied, and accompanied it with the most convincing smile you could conjure. “I really am fine, and I will catch up on it. Promise.”

“Miss Y/LN...I really do think you should go see the healthcare unit.”

“No need, I’m fine, I’m absolutely –”

“She’s depressed.”

The sharp exclamation draped itself over the three of you, and the office fell silent. You slowly turned to your left, quiet anger flaring in your gut. And Yoongi, the bastard, was wearing a polite smile and blatantly ignoring your burning looks.

The perplexed-looking lady opposite you blinked about a million times in confusion, before clearing her throat.

“Is what your friend is saying true, Miss Y/LN? You've been feeling depressed?”

Your airways were blocked, by what felt like a thick bundle of dry cotton. You didn't get a word out. Yoongi decided to just nod in affirmation on your behalf.

"Yeah, yes, she’s...been down. Not left her apartment much and just slept and not eaten and...I think she needs to see someone.”

“Oh, oh dear...well, that sounds worrying indeed." The lady turned to you with a motherly smile. "I’ll book you an appointment to the healthcare center, Miss Y/LN. They can refer you to a mental health professional if there's a need for that...hold on a moment...”

She started tapping something on her computer, while she kept talking, but you didn’t focus on it much. You were forced to just listen and accept the documents shoved into your hands, with the appointment date and other information. Forced to nod affirmatively when she announced it would be next week.

Not like you were about to go. No way.

Once you were dismissed, you were fuming. You stormed out and over the university grounds, leaving Yoongi and the repeated stream of requests to slow down behind you.

“Y/N, fucking wait – jesus, can you wait!?"

He finally caught you, but you ripped your arm from his grip instantly, backing further away while spitting furious words in his face.

“No, I can’t! Why the hell did you have to tell her that, Yoongi?! You had no right to tell her I’m…”

You came to a screeching halt just as you were about to say it, and gathered yourself. Yoongi regarded you from a distance, his eyes like dark, tranquil oceans as usual.

Always so understanding, always compassionate. Even now when you wanted none of it.

“I’m not depressed. Everything is fine with me.”

You said it with steadfast conviction. Maybe, if you said it enough times, it would become true.

The wind rustled the leaves in the trees around you. It was actually a beautiful day. The warm rays of sunshine heated your back up, and Yoongi’s sympathetic smile was securely in place as always.

“Y/N...I had to. If you get to decide yourself you just dodge your issues and pretend they don't exist for all eternity. I can’t just stand by and witness it anymore, okay? Please just trust me. Everything isn’t fine with you.”

“Yeah it is,” you interjected stubbornly. You shook your head, shook it until nausea hit you and you just stumbled uselessly when trying to vocalize what you felt.

“It is, and I don’t want to go...it makes me feel sick. I don’t want to talk about it...I don’t want to be the person who has something wrong with them, Yoongi...I want to be normal.”

Your voice was suddenly saturated with hysteria and tears, and Yoongi was on you in an instant. Picking you up, just like he always did, collecting the pieces and patching you up again. You sobbed into his hoodie, and asked him, over and over again, why it was so hard.

“It’ll get easier,” Yoongi promised. He hugged you as you cried, while a warm breeze blew past and gently ruffled your hair and dried your cheeks. “It will. But not until you face it, hun.”

During the next few days, you spent a lot of time hunched over your laptop. Slogging your way through email after email, and doing your best to figure out exactly how far behind you were in your studies. 

Really damn far turned out to be the answer.

You did his best to fix that, finishing up half-written essays and projects collecting dust on your hard drive until you were close to crying from the effort. All of this happened while Yoongi sat next to you, peering over your shoulder and making sure the process was moving forward. But it left you exhausted, and the list of assignments was mile-long.

“I’ll never have energy to finish all this...might as well drop out,” you whined, face buried in your hands, multiple times when it all felt too overwhelming. But Yoongi wasn't about to just accept that. Of course he wasn't.

“Nope, you sure as hell won’t,” was his stern reply to that. He was like an impenetrable wall you couldn't bulldoze your way through, and so you remained in front of the laptop, while his hawk eyes made sure your attention stayed on the screen.

Annoying. It was, but you had to admit it was effective. After many cups of espresso and bordering-on-meltdowns the list gradually shortened, and you were left slightly less stressed. But you’d transformed into a wet rag at the end of it, a wet rag that Yoongi transported to the couch and kissed and hugged and showered with compliments about how you were doing so well.

And it felt good, admittedly. Even though he must be lying through his teeth. His arms wrapped around you also felt great, and his gentle kisses made you all tingly – but that was the problem. He was too gentle. Too soft, like you were some kind of fragile flower to be handled with care.

Yet another week had passed since your almost-steamy-encounter on Yoongi’s couch. Another week’s worth of wet daydreams, of imagining the two of you in scenarios that stretched so much further than just kissing. Another week’s worth of not daring to make the first move.

Because without alcohol flowing through you, you remained much too shy and insecure, even though he was your boyfriend now.

The desire you felt for him made your blood pump faster, made your lower regions heat up. Every time Yoongi held you, every time he sat next to you with his elbows leaning on the table. Because you just wanted so badly for those veiny hands to undress you. To wrap around you. To travel further down and envelop you, all of you.

But at the same time, you were scared when imagining it.

Maybe Yoongi’s vision of you wouldn’t match the reality, the you hidden underneath the oversized sweaters and baggy sweatpants you’d worn for the past week. Maybe he would just see what you saw in the mirror. 

Someone a little too gray and washed out, who didn’t get nearly enough sun and who lacked that rosy, healthy glow on their cheeks.

Maybe Yoongi’s feelings would even cool once he saw your body. Despite all the things he’d said for the past weeks about how you were gorgeous and beautiful and perfect. 

The thought brought you close to tears.

You just felt like an illusion, about to crumble anytime now.

All of this messed things up, and soon you found yourself in bed. At 5PM on a Saturday evening. And all of Yoongi’s messages sat in your phone, unread and ignored since a good 24 hours.

You were pushing him away again, and it was just a matter of time until the doorbell would ring.

It did, like an ominous church bell ordering you to return to the land of the living. And you dragged yourself over the same damn floor, towards the same damn door, mentally preparing for yet another lecture by the same person you’d let down, again.

“Hey there, bun,” Yoongi greeted casually, leaning against the wall in the corridor when the door slid open. “What’s up? Ignoring my messages again?”

“Yes,” you confirmed dully. Unnecessary to pretend otherwise, and you were aware how wantonly snappy you sounded. Yoongi took absolutely zero notice of it. He looked stunning as ever, the dark hair slightly tousled by the wind and hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

Hands that still hadn’t touched you where you wanted them to and when would they?

You slammed the door with unnecessary force after Yoongi strode past you, causing him to turn around in surprise.

“Woah? Easy with that. Bad mood huh? Look kinda rough.”

“Yeah. I always look kinda rough, if you haven't noticed.”

“Hold it right there. Don’t twist it into something it’s not. I just meant you look a little tired.”

He gave you a sharp glance, a warning that clearly told you "don't even try to argue". You yielded, heaving unhappily. 

“I’m sorry. I just...I wasn’t feeling well, and everything just felt shit, and...I couldn’t get out of it”

“Uhuh...that’s...kinda why you need some help, sweetie.”

“I don’t need help.”

You tried, but it was weak at this point. Yoongi closed in on you, raising a hand to cradle your cheek and sneaking the other one around the small of your back.

“Sorry to slap you with uncomfortable truths, but...yeah, you do. And I understand that your mood shifts and you want to be alone sometimes...but please don’t ignore my texts. You're making me sick with worry when you don't answer. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Alright, baby. So did you shower today?”

“No.”

“Eat?”

“No.”

“Y/N...that’s no good." He trapped you in a kiss, before separating you and giving you another look that left no room for arguing. "Come on. Go get showered or changed and whatever you need and let’s head to the shop.”

You huffed, turned and stomped off to your bedroom without a word.

Getting changed and going outdoors didn’t feel tempting at all. You dug through your closet, but once again there was nothing of use, because once again you'd failed to do the laundry. Because you’d been nestled in bed instead. And crawling into it again felt like a splendid idea now.

"How's it going over here?"

Yoongi had made an appearance in the doorway. He raised a critical eyebrow, skeptically eyeing the pajama shorts and coffee-stained t-shirt you were still wearing. You just stared blankly ahead, cross legged on the bed and not about to move another inch if you could avoid it.

"Badly. Have nothing to wear and I'm hideous."

You knew how that sounded, oh you knew. But you could do absolutely zilch to prevent it. Yoongi closed the distance between you, his gaze oddly dark, like a looming thunderstorm.

"Stop saying those things about yourself."

You bounced up, gurgling with unidentified frustration you just couldn’t seem to kick.

"No. Because it's true."

“It's really not. I understand it feels true to you. But you’re stuck with these ideas about yourself, because you’re seeing everything through a skewed lens. That makes you overly critical of yourself. Understand, baby?”

“Nope. You’re fucking wrong.”

Yoongi's finger on your mouth silenced you. He was right in front of you now, and he leaned in until his lips brushed over your ear.

"You're not hideous. Get that through your thick skull."

And then he pulled back, and kissed you. And it wasn't gentle. In fact it was everything but gentle. It was demanding, his tongue finding its way into your mouth and his fingers weaving themselves into your hair and his nails scraping over your scalp.

When you finally parted, your body was already in overdrive, your pulse crashing through your veins and your lower regions practically on fire and thumping almost painfully.

"Think it's about time I touched you, huh,” Yoongi pondered, eyes half-lidded and with his finger pressed down on your lower lip.

You just swallowed, whining something that sounded like "uhuh" in response. Yoongi's hands were all over you in an instant. He swung you around with your back facing him, and moved your hair out of the way so he could press feather light kisses down the junction of your neck. You were lost, to the unexpected shivers worming all over your skin, lost until you heard a request that made your knees weak.

"Is it okay if I take off your clothes?"

"Ye– yeah," you managed, without really thinking. There was just a split second of self-consciousness, and then your shirt was pulled over your head, your shorts hiked down – and you were bare, save for your underwear. You went rigid for a second, shielding yourself, but Yoongi untangled you quickly.

"Nah, none of that. Don’t do that. Let me see you."

He looped his own arms around your waist, and sprinkled kisses all over your exposed skin – your shoulders, your jawline, everywhere he could reach. And then, he spun both of you around. Facing the full length mirror, the one you’d been about to throw out so many times now.

"Look at yourself."

You looked. And looked away the next second. You saw yourself, the body you hadn’t studied for a while. You saw your skin illuminated by the lamplight, showing every little imperfection in unforgiving technicolor. And you saw Yoongi's toned arms blanketing you.

"Yeah, I'm looking. What's there to see? I'm, just...whatever. Just...meh."

"No. Not meh. Everything but meh. Stubborn, a little bratty, but definitely not meh."

He forked fingers into your hair, yanking you back to stress the fact.

"Or ugly. Or useless Or anything negative you want to imagine. I know you don’t see it yourself, but trust me, then. Can you do that?"

“Maybe.”

^^^^^^^^

You couldn’t, still – but you were coming undone, basically unable to speak, unable to do anything but succumb to Yoongi's voice and touch and tongue leaving goosebumps all over your skin. 

Your breaths picked up as he unhooked your bra, sliding it off and throwing it to the side. You let out a pitchy whimper and dropped your gaze as he cupped your breasts. One by one, gently caressing them and rolling the pink buds between his fingers.

“Beautiful. Beautiful and mine,” he whispered into your hair.

He kept one hand loosely around your throat, while the other traveled down your spine – down, down down and all the way down. There, he gathered one of your asscheeks into his hand, squeezing possessively and pressing his own, very blatant boner against your ass.

“This too,” he purred cheekily, a little louder, and slapped it once, very lightly. 

And you choked.

Well, nearly. Choked on the feeling of the pulsating, warm and very real body pushed up against you. It infused you with a craving that practically hurt, and you gasped in surprise when Yoongi’s hand snaked its way to your front, sliding down to part your thighs. He nibbled on your neck, while his fingers found your clit, lightly brushing over it and drawing moan after bated moan from you.

"You're hot, okay. I love your face, I love your body, I love your personality, you’re gorgeous and don't ever doubt that." Yoongi murmured, while stroking you through your underwear and holding you steady with his free hand. "I've wanted to fuck you for ages."

Oh shit. Okay. All you could do was whimper needily in response. The sinful confessions into your ear made your head spin violently – and that voice. Surely couldn’t belong to Yoongi – it was too husky, just oozing dominance – but it did. It did and it seeped right into every corner of you, into every cell of your body all the way into your fingertips and not least, your crotch.

And you felt like you might suffocate from the pressure. From Yoongi's fingers rubbing teasing circles all over you, his breath hot and wet against the nape of your neck.

"I want to see you too,” you whined, wrenching yourself loose and pawing desperately at his t-shirt.

"Sure thing, baby.”

You held your breath while his clothes were discarded. Shirt, jeans, briefs, and then he stood there, stripped in front of you. Not just a smudgy almost-Yoongi in one of your vivid dreams, but the real Yoongi. With a heinous twinkle playing in his mischievous eyes, his posture self-assured and his dick half-hard and smooth and...actually a little menacingly thick in girth.

You swallowed down the nervously flapping butterflies, and stepped forward, tentatively running hands all down his pale chest and around his back and his ass and absolutely everywhere.

You’d imagined this man naked so many times. All throughout your adolescence, and now that it finally happened, it felt like some trippy dream.

"God, you’re fucking...beautiful, Yoongi.”

"Says you.”

He grabbed you, kissing you and pressing the two of you together, with his hands firmly on your ass. And you heated up to scorching temperatures, while your brain was filled with only one thought.

“I want you.”

“Want you too. But we’re taking it slow.”

You grumbled, but he just briefly let his finger travel into your mouth, and smirked in response when you sucked on it like it was a lollipop. Then, you were hauled up and lowered onto the bed on your back, and turned into a shivering, whimpering wreck of a person. Yoongi kissed you, pushing his tongue in to drag it over the roof of your mouth, and continuing down your torso, your chest, your tummy until you shivered pleasantly underneath him. 

He mumbled little words of praise at you while he went, and your breath came out shorter and shorter the further down he traveled. Soon he had to tell you to remember to even breathe.

“Relax. You’re so pretty, been wanting you for so long.”

He parted your legs gently, wrapping his hand around your thigh and sucking teasing love bites into the sensitive skin until you were almost crying from the sensation.

“Want me to touch you, baby? Can I take these off?”

You curled your spine against the sheets, desperate for him to just do it already. “Yeah – yeah. Please.” 

"Good. Cause I'm really dying to."

Your panties slid off, finally, and Yoongi crawled between your legs, blinking up at you, dark eyes clouded with lust and tousled bangs falling into his forehead.  All of you was practically vibrating, filled with electricity sprouting underneath the tips of his fingers as he rested one hand on your tummy and settled the other one between your legs.

“Look at you...already so wet for me.” He spread you with a thumb, sliding it between your lips, and you whined in response. Not like he was wrong. You’d basically been soaking wet since that first kiss. “So pretty. I want to make you feel good, hun. Can I eat you out? Do you want that?”

You nodded frantically. You could feel your release literally around the corner, and whatever Yoongi was about to do to you would lure it out at record speed. He offered you one of his gummy grins, gripping your thighs with both hands for leverage and pushed his pink tongue out, dragging it all over your clit and making you cringe against the sheets. 

“God – Yoongi, holy shit-”

“You taste good. Fucking sexy as hell.”

You didn’t care about restraining yourself anymore. You allowed yourself to moan unabashedly while he sucked on your clit, and tantalized you by pushing his tongue into you and pulling it out the next second.

You hadn't been touched for so long, you hadn't come for so long . An eternity. And now you watched, eyes feverish, as Yoongi turned you into a slobbering mess in minutes. Your orgasm was close, and Yoongi must have felt it, because he quickly pulled back, lips glistening and cheeks flushed. 

Next you felt his fingers teasing your entrance, and he threw you a quick, questioning glance and asked, voice hushed and dripping with lust, if it was okay. You hurried to nod again, crying out when he pushed a finger into you, slowly gliding over your walls and filling you up, while his thumb rubbed against your clit. Settling on his knees, he threw one of your legs up and squeezed your thigh as he started finger-fucking you, slowly but surely.

You couldn’t help but wonder, amidst all the hazy pleasure, how the hell he was that skilled with his hands.

Probably because he was experienced. You knew he’d had kind-of-girlfriends, but maybe he'd even had multiple partners. That thought made you irrationally jealous, once again, and also worried you’d appear like a rookie in comparison.

But those thoughts were quickly washed away, for now, as Yoongi hit the spot again, and a pitchy whimper escaped you, echoing through the whole bedroom.

“You’re tight,” he hummed, gaze heavy on you. “How’s that? Feels good?”

“Y– yeah...feels great…”

Your neck cringed, your hands gripping the sheets as he picked up the pace, before adding a second finger. Soon he had two of them knuckle-deep in you, fucking you while working your clit while you squirmed against him to create even more friction. You watched him, his lustful dark eyes plastered on you, the veins in his arms tensing as he brought you closer and closer. 

"Yoongi...I'm gonna...c-come...if you keep doing that–"

"Well that's the goal, right? You're moaning so prettily, turning me wild," Yoongi teased, leaning forward. He positioned himself half-laying on top of you, so he was able to reach your quivering lips while his fingers slid in and out of you.

He kissed you hungrily, and you could feel his cock poking you in the side. You glanced down. There it was, all stiff and veiny and fully erect and – damn.

Yoongi wanted to fuck you with that.

You pictured it, and then you were done for.

"Coming?"

"Uhuh..."

"Go on, baby girl.”

Well. That did it. You shuddered your way through your release, spasming against Yoongi’s fingers and crying out a lewd and elongated “fuck” as you came. You faintly heard Yoongi mumbling something as you rode it out, and then you collapsed into the mattress. Completely drained, and with your chest heaving and droplets of sweat running down your neck.

^^^^^^^^

Yoongi pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, and withdrew his hand. "You okay, pumpkin?"

You nodded wordlessly, slow waves of pleasure still rippling through you. Yoongi sneaked an arm around your shoulder, pulling you against himself and squeezing you tightly. 

"See why I wanted to take it slow now? Yikes...you look like you just finished a marathon. Didn't take you very long.”

He nuzzled into your hair, and you weren’t even able to provide anything coherent in response yet. Soon he announced he was taking you to shower, and before you could protest you’d been scooped up and carried off, bridal-style.

The shower was turned on, and you were dazed when jostled into position underneath the spray of water. It splashed down between the two of you, heating you up as you rested your head against Yoongi’s chest, just enjoying the warmth and being so close to him for now. 

He pushed strands of soaked hair out of your forehead, and propped you up more securely when you were in danger of sagging to the floor. "Are you alright, sweetness?”

“Yeah...sorry, it’s been a while since I, uh…was...touched...”

You quietened, bashfully pushing your nose against his chest again to avoid meeting his eyes. He gave a little chuckle, and ran his hands all over your back in reassuring circles. 

“Yeah, I figured. That’s okay. Just take it easy, baby. I’ll take care of you, don't worry.”

Yoongi gathered you into his arms, and your throbbing muscles were soothed by the flow of hot water. But you also felt a rigid boner poking your thigh, still. Belonging to him. 

You peeked down at it. It was a little intimidating, but you were also eager to return the favor. Even though your tummy turned into slush at the thought of doing something wrong.

You swallowed down a lump, and Yoongi noticed your hesitance. 

“Y/N. Just relax.”

"You're still hard though, I can –"

"Yeah, duh, I'm hard,” Yoongi chuckled, and pressed a tender kiss to your lips to shut you up. “...cause that was hot,” he added, and your cheeks instantly turned tomato-red.

"But we got all the time in the world. I can wait. You're the most important, bun."

"Fine, ugh...okay."

You burrowed into his chest, letting out a soft moan when he squeezed some shampoo out and started massaging it into your scalp. Yep. You could definitely see yourself getting used to this.

[gumnut-logic]

V. T. Green (Part Eight - The End)

Title: V. T. Green

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight

Author: Gumnut

20 - 25 Oct 2019

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: “Did you discover this, Brains?” He frowned. There was something familiar about this. Maybe they had discussed it recently.

“Oh, no, this is V. T. Green. The man is brilliant.”

Word count: 3555

Spoilers & warnings: None.

Timeline: Standalone

Author’s note: Here we are, the final chapter. I’ve been staring at this for far too long, so who knows what’s in here. Thank you for all your wonderful support on this fic. I hope it lived up to expectations and I hope you enjoy this last bit.

Many thanks to @scribbles97 , @vegetacide  and @thunderstorm-bay for all their wonderful help with this.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

 Virgil slammed the door to his rooms behind him. Okay, so he was being petty, but they should have known. Why didn’t they know?

Whatever.

Now he was here, he had no idea what to do with himself. A glance around the room and he realised this was not where he wanted to be.

His ‘bird.

He would go and work on his ‘bird.

With one hand.

He stared down at the sling restricting the movement of his arm. A moment of thought, and he was sliding the offending piece of material off his arm.

Scott had force fed him his medication so there was only twinging. He tentatively stretched his arm out.

Ow.

Okay, respect needed.

At least he could shower and change his clothes.

His train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Virgil?”

Gordon.

A sigh. “Leave me alone.”

“Not this time, bro.” The sounds of fumbling and a second later Gordon waltzed through the door.

“What the hell did you do to that lock?”

Gordon held up the unit in one hand. “This one?” Wires hung loose from the half disassembled electronic device. Virgil stared at it.

“What? You didn’t know I could do that? Hmm, you’ve underestimated me, bro. I should get angry and storm out.”

Virgil’s shoulders dropped and he sent his brother a flat-eyed glare. “Fine. Do that. At least I’ll be left alone.”

The lock landed on a side table and Gordon shut the door quietly behind him.

Virgil ignored him and began pulling off his shirt, prepping for his shower. His arm and shoulder protested loudly.

“Hey.” Gentle hands pulled the sleeve of his flannel shirt off his arm. “You shouldn’t have that sling off yet.”

“Yeah, well, I stink and I want to shower.”

His brother’s hands didn’t stop helping him. The flannel shirt landed on the couch, followed slowly by his grey undershirt.

“You’re not pulling my pants off.”

“Why not?” Gordon looked up at him, no trace of humour in his expression. “You’ve helped me with everything.” That gaze intensified.

Virgil sighed. It felt wrong to have his little brother helping him like this. “That was different.”

“Why? Because you’re the older brother? I’m sorry, Virg, I can’t change our birth order, but I’m still going to help you.”

“Gordon...”

His brother darted in and undid his button and, before he knew it, he was standing there in his briefs.

No smart ass comment passed his brother’s lips despite the green coffee cups on his underwear. The two men stood staring at each other for a moment.

Virgil’s lips curled up slightly in a smile. “It must be killing you to hold it all in.”

Gordon bit his lip, but his eyes sparkled. “Not saying a thing.”

The smile became a grin and Gordon’s expression became pinched with strain. Before he knew it, Virgil was laughing his ass off. He ended up holding his arm close and sitting down on the couch in order to not injure himself with his own humour.

His little’s brother’s face broke out in a grin and he sat down beside him. “That is so much better, Virg.”

The laughter petered out into a fond smile and Virgil reached out to put an arm around Gordon’s shoulders.

The aquanaut backed off immediately. “Hey, you’re almost naked! A little too much skin, bro.”

Virgil grinned and mussed his hair instead.

“Oh, man. Gettorf!” Gordon flailed at his fingers.

He let his brother off the hook and sank into the couch cushions. “Thanks, Gordon.”

A brown gaze so similar to the one he so often saw in the mirror. “Virgil, do you think I’m smart?”

He froze, the question such an echo of what he had asked Scott the day before, his heart lurched.

“Sure, Gordon.”

The gaze didn’t blink. “No, you don’t, Virgil.”

“Gordon! Your achievements-“

But Gordon was shaking his head. “You don’t, Virgil.” He held up a hand. “I’m not angry, not hurt, don’t worry, I’m happy with what I am.”

“No! Gordon, you are smart.”

“Not the same smart as you. Or John.”

“Maybe not, but smart comes in many different forms.”

His brother shrugged. “How did I get into this room, Virg?”

“You broke the lock.” Another job to add to his list.

“I disassembled the locking mechanism.” A pause. “Did you know I could do that?”

“Uh-“

“You didn’t, did you?”

Virgil looked down at his hands. “No, I didn’t.”

“Virg, I have a whole array of skills I don’t use day to day. Some of them I hope I never have to use again, ever.”

A darted stare at his brother. “WASP.”

“Yep.” A quirk of a smile. “I doubt my brothers are aware of half of the things I’m capable of.” The smile became grim. “And I’d like to keep it that way.” A shrug. “Okay, maybe Scott knows more than most, but...” He turned to face Virgil. “I don’t want you to see how smart I am.” He straightened and the smile came back. “I like being the goofball brother.”

Virgil’s smile was soft. “You’ll always be the goofball brother. No contest.”

“And you will always be the grumpy bear before his morning coffee no matter how many smarts you declare.”

The smile became fond. “How did you know, when no one else did?”

Gordon shook his head. “Sorry, bro, I didn’t. You told me with your reaction.”

“At least you considered the possibility.”

“Didn’t I say that the first rule of International Rescue is if Virgil says it is, it is? That didn’t come from me, you know. John passed that on in a lecture after I screwed up, and he heard it from Scott when he screwed up before me. Scott heard it from Dad. It is a rule that has been learnt the hard way by all of us. Except you. Because you are damn good at what you do, Virg. You may not realise it, but trust me, your brothers do.”

Gordon drew a breath. “We didn’t realise that you were V.T. Green because we have gotten so used to your expertise in action, we forgot the theory behind it all. We know you’re smart and we rely on it every day. I’ve seen your head buried in so many engineering journals over the years, I should have realised it sooner, but don’t you dare think that because we didn’t connect the dots between you and a website, that we don’t know our brother has whatever it takes.” A small smile. “Because you always do. That brain of yours has saved our butts so many times, Virg.”

“But, Brains-“

“What is this? A competition?” Gordon frowned at him. “Brains is smart, too. So are John, Alan, Scott, Tin, Grandma and even me. There is no shortage of genius on this island. It just comes in different forms, just like you said. It has to. Otherwise this crazy rescue organisation wouldn’t work.”

The room fell silent. Goosebumps rose on Virgil’s arms, the air still a little cool at this time of the morning. Another reason to sleep in. Give the island some time to warm up.

“I’m sorry, Gordon. I shouldn’t have exploded like that.”

“What? Of course, you should have. It doesn’t hurt to surprise everyone now and again. Keeps them on their toes. Well, all except for Tin.”

Virgil snorted. “Nothing gets past her.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she bugged your underwear.”

He stared at his brother. “What?”

Gordon just grinned at him.

“You are the goofball, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

“And you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

He reached out to tousle Gordon’s hair again and the man ducked off the couch.

A fond grin. “No, I wouldn’t.”

-o-o-o-

Virgil managed his shower and Gordon left him to it. It gave him time to think. Time to look at it all from a different perspective. Kayo had dobbed him in for a reason. His sister never did anything without a reason and honestly, now the cat was out of the bag, it lifted the worry from his shoulders. Perhaps he should thank her. Maybe grab some of her favourite chocolate from that little shop in southern Australia.

But he still had to face Brains and for the first time in his life, he was hesitating in approaching his fellow engineer.

There had never been anything but a strong and honest friendship between himself and Hiram Hackenbacker. His friend was just that little bit older than him, just that little more experienced...

And so much smarter.

He had been inspirational when Virgil was younger. His studies had been both guided and assisted by the brilliant young engineer discovered by his father. Brains had been there at the start of his career and he had been a constant companion in his engineering endeavours ever since. He owed him so much.

He sighed.

It would be up to Virgil to approach Brains. The man’s social skills were almost inversely proportional to his genius.

He should have spoken to him earlier.

Brothers were one thing, they would forgive him eventually. They were his brothers.

But friends...mentors...

He didn’t want to lose Brains’ trust.    

He managed to get some pants on without too much trouble. He gave up on the undershirt and slipped the sling on over his bare chest before draping his flannel shirt over his injured shoulder and slipping his good arm through the sleeve. It wasn’t the greatest solution and Grandma would likely frown at him, but he didn’t care.

What he did care about was hunting down Brains and apologising.

He made it through the house without encountering anyone, oddly enough, and caught the elevator down to the labs.

Virgil had his workshop. Brains had his labs. Perhaps that illustrated the subtle differences to their individual approaches to engineering. Traditionally, Brains tackled the theories and experiments. Virgil’s domain was more maintenance. His ‘experiments’ little more than finding solutions to mechanical problems encountered in the field or during repairs.

Brains designed and built Thunderbirds.

Virgil kept them in the sky, under the water and in space.

And it was there in the corridor between Labs One and Two that he realised exactly what his problem was.

He was in Brains’ shadow and he hadn’t even realised it.

The thought stopped him in his tracks.

He was familiar with the shadow cast by his high achieving eldest brother. Scott Tracy had always been a hard act to follow. But Virgil’s focus was so different to Scott’s he felt he had carved out his own niche and, to be honest, he was quite comfortable beside Scott. He fit well as his second and a small niggling voice at the back of his mind sometimes warned him that he was relying far too much on his brother for skills he had no wish to develop himself.

But Brains...Brains shared his interests, worked in the same field, was so much smarter...

Had he slipped into being Brains’ second as well?

The thought felt wrong. Virgil wasn’t competitive. He was happy where he was...wasn’t he?

He still had those thousands of notifications in his inbox.

Shit.

“Virgil?”

He jumped. He had been completely lost in thought standing in the middle of the corridor. Brains was staring at him.

Virgil straightened. “Uh, hey, Brains.”

“H-how are you feeling?”

A blink. “Um, okay.” He was such an on-the-ball conversationalist this morning.

“I was h-hoping that while you are off r-rescues we could...” But Brains’ voice petered off and a frown crumpled his brow. “I am s-sorry, V-Virgil, that I did not r-recognise you as V-V. T. G-Green.”

Virgil shifted where he stood. “I didn’t know you read my blog. Well, until the other day.”

“Oh, your blog is amazing. That polymer is brilliant. I also enjoyed your discussion with O’Malley regarding tensile steel versus polysteel in bridge construction. Where did you get that idea for interweaving the two materials?”

“From that bridge in Mexico last year. The one that buckled due to uneven weight distribution on the secondary pylon grouping.”

The engineer was running calculations, Virgil could tell. “Yes, I can see that now. Do you think that would have m-managed the harmonic wind factor as well?”

“Oh, definitely.” And that led into a discussion of harmonic pressure and the properties of the new combination of materials. They slipped easily into engineering jargon and they ended up in one of Brains’ labs deep in the most fascinating and satisfying discussion Virgil had ever had with his friend.

It was Scott standing in the doorway several hours later that finally snapped them out of the land of scientific imagination. By that time, the self-healing polymer was modelled and ready for initial experimental trials.

“Am I going to have to share him with you now, Brains?” Scott was smiling, obviously amused. Virgil wondered how long his brother had been standing there.

But Brains grew flustered. “Th-that’s entirely u-up to V-Virgil.”

Virgil held up a hand. “Hey, nothing’s changed. I’m still the same wrench monkey I was yesterday.”

Brown eyes caught his. “N-no, Virgil, you are so much more. I-I’m j-just s-sorry I didn’t see it b-before.” His friend’s shoulders dropped.

“Hey.” He walked over to the engineer and placed his good hand on Brains’ shoulder. “I should have told you. Though, I honestly didn’t realise...a lot of things.” He squeezed gently. “But now we know and we can move forward.” It was quite exciting really. Brains had experience Virgil could learn from and Brains saw possibilities in several of Virgil’s theories.

“Wh-why did you shut d-down your website?” It came out in a rush, the worry on Brains’ face obvious.

Virgil was very aware of his silent brother still standing just inside the door. And, no, he hadn’t missed the bottle of pills in Scott’s hand.

Voice quiet. “Abby Applegate. You made me realise the potential I was making public. I pulled it to give myself time to work out what I want to do with my theories.”

“You want to keep them under the blanket of International Rescue?” It was Scott’s commander voice asking the question and it had Virgil automatically straightening his posture in response.

He turned to his brother. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“But isn’t this technology that the Hood could...”

Virgil held up a hand. “This technology could save thousands of lives and, yes, if it got into the wrong hands it could make our jobs harder, but...” And as he was saying it, the idea clarified in his mind. “It could save so many more lives than we ever could, if we release the technology so manufacturers can build it into their products to prevent us from needing to be called in, in the first place.”

“Virgil-“

“No, Scott. I have to think on this further, but this polymer, at least, will be released in some form. Maybe we can release it through Tracy Industries, maybe some other way, But I don’t want to deny the possibilities it could mean for sheer safety in areas like marine habitation or airships, for example.”

His brother’s glance immediately flicked to the other engineer in the room. “Brains?”

Virgil couldn’t believe it. The rational part of his mind knew it was only reflex on Scott’s part, but... “No! This isn’t Brains’ decision, it’s mine!”

He saw the moment of realisation as to what he had done flicker across Scott’s eyes. His mouth opened but Brains interrupted. “Th-this is V-Virgil’s decision.”

Virgil straightened his spine.

Scott echoed his stance, but his voice was soft. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

“I need to remember that.”

-o-o-o-

When Scott finally dragged him out of Brains’ lab, Virgil discovered it was later than he expected. He and Brains had well and truly gotten lost in their discussion. It was lunch time, but a very late one. His eldest brother continued the dragging all the way to the kitchen. There was pill taking demanded, followed by a glare directed seat at the table.

Food appeared in front of him.

Brothers wandered into the room and found their own lunches. Soon there were conversations bouncing around.

Gordon clapped him around his good shoulder as he entered. “So, when is Four getting this groovy polymer upgrade?”

“It doesn’t even exist yet. We’re still a way off a workable application.”

“Hey, just getting in first dibs. I read your blog entry on that you know. It was amazing.”

Virgil stared at him. “You read my blog entry?”

“Sure. Brains was over the moon about it and I wanted to know more. Plus, it was great sport to see you put that colon-custard guy where he belonged.” Gordon grinned.

Okay, that was an image. He held back a shudder. “Coloncous.”

“Whatever. You scored big.” His fish brother swiped a piece of carrot off Virgil’s plate. “Let me know next time you want to take down another hot air balloon, I’d like to watch.” He grinned and headed off into kitchen, likely to pilfer from other plates before finally throwing his own lunch together.

A glass of juice appeared at his elbow, Scott arching an eyebrow to match Virgil’s query, the message obvious. Look after yourself.

Brains wandered in, distracted as usual. This time it was John who stopped him from colliding with the furniture and directed him to a chair before he collided with anything else.

Kayo slunk into a seat beside Virgil on his good side, nudging him with her elbow. “Forgive me?”

“For what?”

“Telling.”

A one shoulder shrug. “I guess.”

“They had to know.”

“I guess.”

She stared at him a moment, her expression assessing him. “Letting an opponent underestimate you makes good tactical sense. Just don’t underestimate yourself.”

“I...” But the words escaped him as her green gaze pierced him, pushing her point home.

Her hand rested on his shoulder and she leant in and whispered in his ear. “Though I must say it was great sport to see you get one over all of them.” She smiled. “Never underestimate a Tracy.”

And with those words she was gone from his side and delving into the refrigerator as if there was no physical space between him and the appliance.

A blink. Kayo was a law unto herself. He shook his head and couldn’t help but smile.

A sudden exchange of words at the kitchen counter ended in an outraged squawk. “Gordon!”

Alan had raw egg in his hair and dripping into his eyebrows and onto his cheeks.

A second later, Gordon had flour in his hair.

As Virgil leapt out of his chair and Scott dove across the room, another egg sailed through the air and the butter dish made airborne. It got loud and there was yelling.

“What the hell are you two doing?!” Scott was answered by a cloud of flour.

“Hey, guys, cut it out!” Virgil reached into the fracas with his good arm and yanked, landing himself a furious Alan screaming profanities at Gordon and coated in what equated to omelette.

His eldest brother grabbed a glaring Gordon and restrained him. There was moment of stunned silence before an angry Scott broke it. “What the hell are you two doing?”

“Teaching the squirt a lesson.”

“Screw you, Gordon!”

“What? Did you underestimate your dumb brother, genius boy?”

“I never said you were dumb!”

“You don’t think I’ve got the brains to keep up with you.”

Virgil had to pull Alan back again, his balance off due to one arm in a sling. His littlest brother was furious. “I never said that either!”

“But you thought it!”

“HEY!” It was Virgil’s voice, not Scott’s that brought the argument to a dead stop. “Gordon, what the hell?”

The aquanaut lost the glare and let his shoulders drop, shifting to a nonchalant stance as if he wasn’t coated head to toe in flour and egg. He ignored Virgil and addressed his little brother. “Point made?”

Alan shook off Virgil’s grip and straightened up, his shoulders squared. “Point made.”

“We good?”

A stare at his next eldest brother before Alan once again shifted his stance, relaxing even further. “We’re good.” And to Virgil’s astonishment, Alan’s face split into a grin. “That was a smart move with that first egg. Did not see it coming.”

“You shouldn’t expect anything less, little bro.”

“I know, I know, point made. You’re smart, I’m smart. Now show me how you flipped your wrist like that.”

Virgil stared as the two youngest brothers huddled together discussing how to slingshot an egg with a single wrist twist. Across the room, Scott appeared equally mystified as to what had actually happened.

Eventually the engineer just rolled his eyes and wandered over to the sink to wash the flour off his hand. Scott ended up beside him, the smother hen helping him clean his one hand.

Virgil rolled his eyes.

“We good?” Scott’s voice was quiet almost tentative.

A frown. “Of course. Yes, we’re good.”

He was surprised at the smile that spread over Scott’s face. A wet hand squeezed his shoulder and handed him a towel.

And dried his one hand.

Oh, for the love of...

Scott was grinning at him.

“God, you’re an ass.”

“Yeah, a smart one.”

Virgil cuffed him up the back of his head.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[quinzelade]

Making One’s Bones (chpt 12)

Chapter List

--

Porter Gage is in a pickle. Nuka-World needed a new boss and some woman just killed her way to the top. But a pre-war Mafia boss on the theme park's throne? Well...at least she'll have experience.

--

Hello, everyone! Welcome to my newest fanfic! While this is technically a ‘sequel’ of By No Constraint, you don’t need to read BNC to read this. It can be read as standalone.

--

Consigliere

--

Night had fallen. Bossanova and Gage sat outside on the balcony of the castle, staring into the great blackness below that was Nuka World. A campfire crackled lazily in front of them, washing the scene in warm light and illuminating Bossanova’s gaunt features, while Gage took the last of his radiation medicine banish the aftermath of the battle with Oswald. Bossanova looked terrible. She hadn’t really spoken since she’d cut Oswald down, sealing off their refuge for the evening and settling outside in total silence.

If Gage didn’t know any better, he’d say she was avoiding Oswald’s body.

For the umpteenth time that night, he thought back to that last, brutal fight, and held back a smile. He didn’t want to piss off the boss right now. But every doubt he’d had, every worry, every bit of distrust fell away the second she’d plunged her knife into Oswald’s neck. That one moment had been revolutionary to him.

Gage couldn’t deny it. He felt proud of her. After a moment, he decided to test the water. “Boss?”

Bossanova stared straight ahead, black eyes gleaming in the firelight as she held her sword and a soft cloth in her hands. “Yes, Gage?”

“Can I ask you something?”

For a second, he thought she might say no, but she shrugged. “Sure.”

“Do you feel bad?”

She looked at him for the first time in hours, and he noticed how pale she was. “For what?”

“Killing the ghoul.”

“No.” She returned to polishing her blade. Gage wondered how truthful she was being. Her answer was too abrupt, too clean. She’d been in one of her funny moods all night, leaving Gage a lot of time to think. Truthfully, he didn’t mind whether she felt bad or not—it didn’t matter to him anymore. She’d saved him regardless of the cost. She would step up when she had to, and that made all the difference in the world.

“I don’t regret killing him,” Bossanova said suddenly, and Gage looked up at her. She turned her sword over in her hands. “I kill when I have to. But how it happened...that was too much.”

“I don’t follow.”

“He was in the way. He was going for you, and he had to be stopped. But...he hadn’t actually hurt you.” She gripped her sword tight to her chest. “It was supposed to be clean. I didn’t want him to suffer.”

For the first time Gage wasn’t angry with her sentimentality, but instead trying to make her see reason. “Well, what the fuck could you have done?”

“Nothing. But it shouldn’t have gotten to that point. I should have seen it coming, should have realised what was going to happen. I should have listened to your advice and just let you shoot him from the start. It would have been cleaner. Instead, I go through life making the same stupid mistakes over and over and over again—I always try to talk things out first. Two hundred years on and I haven’t learned a damn thing.”

Gage frowned at her. Her breath was coming out in shuddering gasps, eyes overly bright in the firelight. Every inch of her spoke of pain, from her tense, hunched shoulders, to her clenched fists and sickly pallor.

“Boss…”

She didn’t answer.

Gage decided to carry on. “Sometimes I think you don’t like being overboss. You’re good at it, don’t get me wrong, but...why you doin’ this? You coulda left at any point and let us all go to shit, but you stayed. What’s behind all this for you?”

She turned her head slowly to him, breathing deeply. “Do I need a reason?”

Something in her tone said he was in dangerous waters. He quickly skirted around the topic. “Nope, guess not.”

Bossanova didn’t say anything for some time, drawing her knees to her chest and blanking Gage out. Then, finally, when Gage began to wonder if he should just quit while he was ahead and go to sleep, she mumbled, “Nicky. Everything is because of Nicky.”

Gage let the silence hang, waiting for her to make the next move. She seemed far more relaxed now, almost her normal self, and yet he was still wary about asking the question. He didn’t do people talk, but whatever was going on in her head was long overdue to be shared.

“He wasn’t a good man, but I loved him very much. He stayed by my side right to the end.”

“Husband?”

“What?” Bossanova sat up straight, momentarily distracted.

“Alright, boyfriend then. Fuck buddy. Whatever.”

“Oh God.” She started laughing, despite herself. “He was my brother, you idiot.”

“Oh.” Gage blinked. “Oh.” He felt his cheeks going hot as she broke out into a fit of giggles. “Well I don’t fuckin’ know!”

She grinned, but then the smile faltered and she shook her head. “Nicky would have told me to kill Oswald from the start too.”

Sounds like he had his head fixed on right.

“You ask me,” Gage said, picking up a piece of wood and tossing it carelessly into the fire, “this whole damn world is just here to tear you down.”

“That’s a dreary outlook.”

“True though. Deck’s stacked against you from the very beginning. Most folks just stumble through, scraping some shitty little life for themselves. They struggle on, until something catches them off guard, and then that’s it.” He picked up another bit of wood and threw that in as well. “Lights out.”

Bossanova stared at him. “Are you talking about Oswald?”

“Maybe. He could have taken over the park. Moved his people to a better settlement before they all got fucked in the head. Coulda done anything he wanted, amount of bodies he had workin’ for him. Instead he stays here, too fucking frightened to do anything else. He stagnated. Then he fucked with the wrong person.”

She said nothing, returning her gaze to the fire.

“See, he wasn’t smart enough to do anything different,” Gage went on, “an’ he never saw what he was doin’ wrong either. But some folks are too aware of how fucked everything is, y’know? And they can’t handle it. So they gotta have it all, right now. All the booze and the chems and the caps, and if they can take it from someone else, that just makes ‘em feel like they’re gettin’ the upper hand. Only they ain’t.”

Gage thought of all the gangs he’d witnessed tear themselves apart. He remembered his ‘friends’ from the early days, before Connor stabbed him in the back. “Fucking raiders...they get so greedy, so focused on ‘right now’ they make shitty mistakes and wind up dead. Hell, maybe some of them are trying to get killed.”

“So which one are you?” Bossanova asked, still not looking at him. “Trying to get yourself killed, or just trying to get by?”

“I ain’t neither,” Gage said. He fixed her with a piercing stare, staying silent until she met his eye. “You’re the same as me—you know how to walk the line between control and getting your piece in the world. You know how to pick your fights, when to back off, and when to wait...and then strike.” He frowned at her. “You tried to save both our necks today by avoiding a fight. Did it work? No. Would I have preferred to jus’ kill him from the start? Yeah, because it’s easier. But easy don’t always mean right. You got that figured out.”

She stared shrewdly at him for a moment, and said, “I don’t understand you, Porter Gage.”

“What’s to understand? I kill people who get in my way and I prefer stealing to honest work. That’s pretty damn straightforward if you ask me.”

“You don’t trust raiders. Hell, you just said they’re stupid and suicidal. Yet here you are, working with them. Why?”

Gage opened his mouth, but no sound came out. It was a question he could easily answer, but was so personal that the mere thought of sharing gripped his throat, choking the words away. He looked at Bossanova. Really looked at her. The anxious hold on his throat relaxed, and he let out a long, slow breath.

“I had shit figured out early,” he said, trying to sound calmer than he actually felt. “Grew up in your average crap-hole settlement with parents that meant well, but...they were pushovers.” God, they were such fucking pushovers. “Watched them get smacked around by raider gangs for years, handing over whatever they had to keep their lives. One day, I’m watching them cower in front of some punk with a gun, and it just hits me. ‘I ain’t gonna end up like this,’ I says to myself. So I bail. I’m what, twelve years old?” Gage shrugged. “Didn’t matter. I’d seen enough of the world to know how shit works.”

Bossanova’s eyes widened and he felt a twinge of regret. He didn’t like the hint of shock and disappointment in her face. She chewed her lip and said, “Where are they now?”

He shrugged again. “Who the hell knows? Dead, I’m sure. Probably a long time ago. Doesn’t matter; hasn’t mattered in decades.”

“Why doesn’t it matter?”

“I...what?”

“You don’t hate them. So why doesn’t it matter?”

“Well, fuck, why would it? I was a kid when I went. All they ever did was fail. Fail to stand up for themselves. Fail to put food on the table. Fail to keep a fuckin’ roof over our heads at one point. I nearly died from starvation more times than I can count. So no, I don’t hate them. But I don’t give a shit about them either.”

It took Gage a moment to realise he was standing up and pacing. Somewhere below them, the ghouls shrieked and growled in the darkness, but none of them tried to climb up to the top of the castle. Slowly, he sat down again.

“Maybe,” Bossanova said gently, “they were trying to avoid you getting hurt. They were your parents. They obviously loved you and tried their best, even if their best wasn’t...all that great.”

Gage grunted in response, his arms folded tight across his chest. The decision to leave all those years ago had been a rash one, a child’s choice. He didn’t regret it, but he remembered all too well the battle that raged with him for years after—should he return? Or should he stay away? In the end, Gage opted to stay away. If he went back, he might never have left again.

Bossanova apparently took the hint. She changed the topic. “So what happened after you moved on?”

Gage shrugged. “Bounced around for a few years, taking whatever jobs would pay for food. I was a runner for a caravan for a while—did some scavenging, did odd jobs for settlements. No matter what, one thing never changed. When the raiders came through, everyone rolled over. Raiders took what they wanted, moved on, and that was that. Didn’t take long before I finally figured out where I’d really been heading all along. Next time a gang came through, I joined. Worked my way up over the years, and now here we are.

“Raiders are pieces of shit, but no one fucks with them. They get what they want, when they want, and they don’t bow to no one. I wanted that freedom and I got it. And as it turns out, I’m good at it. I don’t have to trust no one to use 'em.”

Bossanova laughed. “Nicky said something similar when we joined the Mafia. ‘No one will mess with us again,’ he promised. ‘We’ll take what’s ours. We’ll get what we deserve.’ He was right in that respect at least.”

Gage watched her for some time while she stared into the fire, the flames dancing in her black eyes. “Tell me about him.”

Bossanova’s head jerked back in his direction, and she looked as surprised as Gage felt. But he did want to know more about her. Not just how good she was at killing, or whether she could keep the raiders in line, but as a person.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, and then nodded. Bossanova cleared her throat. “Nicky was...probably the only person I ever depended on. It had always been that way, right from when we were kids. We grew up in a bad neighborhood. Our parents moved us from Italy to Boston when he was a baby and I was still in diapers. They always told us they came to this country searching for something. I never really understood what they were looking for.” She shrugged. “What they found was crippling poverty.”

A scowl settled on her face, and she went on. “Didn’t take my dad long to fall in with the gangs. By all accounts, he was pretty good at it. Money came in, and Nicky and I grew up only vaguely aware dad was doing something he shouldn’t. But...well. He got greedy.”

She gave Gage a pointed look. “Moved in on the Irish Mob’s territory. So they shot up our house.” Her voice was light, casual almost. But there was the slightest shake. “Mom and dad died. I was hospitalised. Nicky was unharmed.”

Gage raised an eyebrow. “What good was killin’ your old man? Can’t learn a lesson if he’s dead.”

“It was a quick, messy solution,” Bossanova replied. “Stupid, really. Sparked a gang war, all for the sake of one lousy street corner. And it changed Nicky.”

“Was he pissed?”

“Extremely.”

“Good. Bit of anger never hurt anyone.”

Bossanova laughed and shook her head. “First thing he did after the funeral was contact one of Dad’s old friends. We knew they worked together. Nicky asked for a chance to get revenge for the Bianco name, and they gave it.”

“Bianco?”

“My surname was Bianco. I changed it to Bossanova after I went into hiding,” Bossanova said with an impatient wave of her hand. “Anyway, Nicky didn’t tell me about any of this for months, even when I’d recovered. But eventually the truth came out.”

“Bet that caused an argument.”

“No.” Gage blinked as she smiled and went on, “I was angry he’d lied to me, but for joining up? No, I didn’t really mind.”

“It got your parents killed.”

“Raiders bullied your parents for years. Didn’t stop you.”

Gage opened his mouth and then closed it again. She had a point.

“Besides, the Mafia was supposed to be the means to an end: revenge—oh, don’t look at me like that,” she added, as Gage scowled. “We were barely twenty. Let youth have their bloodlust.”

He snorted.

“Besides, the Mafia were more than happy to accommodate us, once I’d argued my way in. They dragged their heels, tried to block me because I was a woman, but we got there eventually when Nicky reminded them they’d let our father in. Thankfully they never figured out we were mixed race, else we'd have never made it.”

She grinned at Gage’s confusion, but he’d already decided not to question the weird shit the Old World did back then. Trying to comprehend it made his head hurt. “So did you get ‘em?”

“Oh yes. We were ‘associates,’ you see, so not properly inducted. We could be killed without causing a war. Perfect for us. It meant we could request their lives as our chance to be made. Two birds with one stone.”

Gage vaguely remembered her explanation of ‘being made’ and nodded. “Smart.”

“Very. I did the talking and Nicky grabbed one of them. When my mark went to his friend’s rescue, I shot him in the head. Then Nicky finished his side of the job with a wire.”

Wires were messy from what Gage knew. Nisha would probably approve. But something else drew Gage’s interest. “Wait, you used a gun? You can’t aim for shit!” The memory of her firing the Thirst Zapper at Colter and missing was firmly in his mind.

“It’s not exactly hard to put it to someone’s forehead and pull the trigger,” Bossanova retorted. “I used firearms a lot in those days. Had to practice to keep my aim up to scratch, but when the bombs fell, I didn’t see the point anymore. Ammo runs out. A blade can always cut someone up.”

“Sounds like you’re just being stubborn.” He would never understand her refusal to use anything but swords and knives. Why bother skewering someone when you could just fuck them up from afar? Although he had to admit he appreciated the personal touch.

“Anyway, we killed them,” Bossanova went on, “and became soldiers for the family. My capo at the time—”

“Capo?”

“Captain. At the time he told me, ‘Susanna, there are workers and there are earners. Workers do the grunt work. The dirty work. But the earners make the family a lot of money. They climb the ranks. They’re the smart ones. Nicky’s a worker—but you, Suzie, you’re an earner.’”

“You remembered all that?” Gage said, studying her ravaged, peeling skin and gnarled body, and wondering how she could have a name as normal as ‘Susanna.’

Bossanova grinned. “I might have embellished. But it’s rare for someone to be good at working and earning in the family. Most people stay stuck doing the violent jobs, because they aren’t intelligent enough for anything else. But when Mikey Franzese told me that, I knew I wouldn’t stop until I was in the upper ranks. I had ambition, and I was going to get there or die trying.”

“What did Nicky think of it?��

“He supported me, as I knew he would. I came up with the schemes, and he helped me with the legwork. We were unstoppable, and when I finally made it to the top, he was my right hand man: my consigliere. My closest ally.”

“Sounds like a guy who knows his shit and don’t let anyone fuck him around.”

There was a long silence. Bossanova opened and closed her mouth several times, as if trying to force something out. Finally, she stared at her hands, which were twisting in her lap, and said,“You remind me of him.”

Gage gawked at her. “What?”

She shrugged, avoiding his eye. “Nicky stopped me from being too soft. He knew how things worked, and would tell me when I was wrong.” Bossanova bit her lip. “You’re tough, Gage. But you’re no idiot either. You expect trouble and you’re usually right. You know how to make the hard decisions, and you don’t let emotions cloud your judgement.

“It was me and Nicky against the world. No one else mattered. Even when I ignored his advice and tried to make peace with the Irish Mob, he stuck by me.” Her voice was suddenly thick, as if she had something stuck in her throat. “I got him killed.”

Gage wasn’t repulsed by this, which confused him. In truth, he didn’t know what he felt. Something was writhing in his chest, smothering him. It reminded him of the day he left his parents. He had been so angry at first, hungry and bitter and sick of their bullshit. But when the anger faded, the pain set in. A dull ache of loss and regret, leaving him hollow and twisted, almost longing to go back.

But it waned eventually, as all hurts did, to be replaced by the brutality of survival and the thrill of violence. Killing others meant he was alive. Killing meant he was on top, and no one would push him around.

He was not his parents.

“What did you do to them?” Gage asked, keeping his voice casual as he tried to distract himself from the turmoil raging in his head. “The ones who killed him, I mean.”

He half expected her to say ‘forget about them’—the damage was done, and vengeance would only risk her own neck again. It’s what he did with Connor. Instead, a dark, deep pleasure spread across Bossanova’s lips, and she stared back into the fire, watching something he couldn’t see.

“Tracked them down. Killed them, one by one. Left the guy who actually did it ‘til last. ‘Just business’ they told me. I didn’t care. The family didn’t mean a damn when they took Nicky from me.” Bossanova drew a shuddering breath and slowly turned to look at Gage.

“I locked Joey Gallo in a room,” she said, her voice flat. “Beat him. Tortured him. Starved him. Towards the end he was crying to God.” Her voice took on a whiney quality as she imitated her victim. “‘Oh please God, save me,’ he wept. So I said to him, ‘You got thirty minutes to pray to God to save you. If he does, I’ll let you go.’” Her expression was hard and cold as ice as she gripped her sword. “He prayed. God didn’t show.”

Gage nodded. “Gave the fucker what he deserved.”

She looked away from him, fixing her gaze on her knees. “I failed Nicky. I didn’t want to run another gang ever again, because I was scared of the past. Scared of the ghosts. The idea of Nuka World terrified me. I could see him, Gage. I could see the blood, hear his screams as they tortured him in front of me. But now…” Bossanova shifted where she sat. “You asked me why I’m doing this—what’s in it for me.” Hesitantly, she met his eye. “Nuka World feels like another chance. I don’t want to make the old mistakes again, but I need someone to keep me on the right path. I want you at my side, whatever happens. You and me against the world.”

Gage considered this. Bossanova had many fine qualities: she could lead as well as she could fight. She was violent, but knew when to hold back. She had her flaws—caring about people too much in his opinion—but it was precisely this flaw that made her fight for him—bleed for him. She gave a damn without asking anything in return.

Gage grinned, unable to stop himself. He lay down on the floor, staring up at the stars. There was a lightness he couldn’t place—a warmth and security burning stronger than any fire. He glanced at her, smiling faintly. “You an’ me, boss. Fuck everyone else.”

Bossanova laughed and settled down next to him, gazing at the sky above. They didn’t speak again after that. There was no need—everything had been said. Gage was warm, comfortable, and...content. How long had it been since he was this relaxed? The heavy haze washed over him, and he fell into an easy sleep.

He dreamed of his parents.

--

Bossanova decided to leave the ghouls as they were. “I have plans,” she said to Gage’s questions. “I’ll tell you about them when I’m a bit closer to figuring them out.”

He was curious, and a little stung she wouldn’t share right away considering their talk from the previous night, but it didn’t bother him too much. It sounded like she just wanted to work out the details first.

They crept out of the exit, avoiding the ghouls as they went, and into the park wilderness beyond, before relaxing into a walk. However, they’d barely been going for a minute, when Bossanova stopped dead. It took Gage a few seconds to realise this, and he looked back over his shoulder to see her staring down at the ground. “What?”

Bossanova motioned him over, and he strode back, glancing down to where Bossanova was pointing.

Half concealed in the dead grass was a small ghoul. Gage blinked. He recognised it as the one Colter enslaved instead of handing over to the Disciples. Gage warned him what might happen if Nisha was denied, and earned a black eye for his troubles. Colter wanted her alive, and what Colter wanted, Colter got. Gage snapped the collar on himself.

That had been the beginning of the end, really. Within hours, Nisha dragged Gage aside, pressed a knife to his throat, and demanded Colter be taken down.

All in all, Gage wasn’t sure if the kid was a good omen or a bad one.

Bossanova kneeled down, brushing her hand across the girl’s back, and then put two fingers to her neck. She turned to Gage. “She’s alive.”

“So?” The word left his mouth before he could stop himself, and judging by the boss’ scowl, was not the right answer. He shrugged. “She’s half dead anyway. What use is she?”

“Use?” Bossanova hissed, her black eyes lighting up with fury. “Use?”

Gage gave another half-hearted shrug. If the boss wanted to pick up a dying stray, that wasn’t his problem.

Except it really is.

The girl’s eyes flickered open. She looked pretty bad by all accounts. Her face was messed up, even for a ghoul, and she was covered in deep cuts and swollen bruises. The raiders had probably handed out one of their regular beatings. Bossanova pressed a hand to the girl’s cheek, and the girl smiled weakly. At least she still had all her teeth.

Bossanova carefully lifted the girl into her arms and stood up. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

Gage sighed.

[faveficarchive]

Hearts Lost - Hearts Inflamed

By ArdentTly

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle, Ephiny/Kestra, Ephiny & Phantes, Xena/Gabrielle/Ephiny/Kestra, Gabrielle/Ephiny, Solari/Eponin

Rating: Mature

Summary: Xena and Gabrielle spend some quality time with the Amazons, love triangles happen, and all sorts of antics ensue. Sequel to A Journey of Love and Ardent Warrior...Passionate Bard...Jealous Queen, but can absolutely be read as a standalone.

Chapter One

Ephiny lay in bed, the blankets covering her from the ribs down. The blankets seemed to have a life of their own - a certain bobbing action was currently taking place. The Regent moaned and stroked the area between her legs. The bobbing continued.

Two tanned hands snaked out from under the covers and tweaked Ephiny's breasts. The Regent's breathing started to resemble an iron-smith's bellows. The woman thrashed her head back and forth on the pillow, both of her hands holding the lump between her legs.

The lump became Kestra. She moved quickly up between her lover's legs so that her fingers were deep inside the woman and her pubic bone was directly behind, adding force to thrust

"Oh gods, oh gods...ah, yes!" screamed Ephiny as she claimed her lover's shoulder with her teeth. Kestra slowed a little until her lover's shudders had all but faded away. Then she began thrusting again, slowly but deeply. She claimed Ephiny's mouth with her own as she massaged one breast.

Ephiny's voice became high in pitch. With one last thrust she was washed away by the most blissful orgasm she had ever experienced. Well, today, anyway.

Kestra began kissing the Regents hands. She sucked on each finger tenderly. She drew three of them together and pushed them into her wet mouth. Ephiny groaned at the sight. Then Kestra removed them and placed them deep into her self. She straddled Ephiny's legs and positioned herself so that the Regent had access to her glistening breasts. Ephiny happily complied, taking each nipple inside her mouth and pulling at them. Kestra held onto her lover's shoulders as Ephiny positioned her fingers underneath. She held them still as Kestra pumped up and down, slowly fucking herself into a frenzy.

Both women had a dazed look in their eyes. They had been making love for hours. They just couldn't get enough of each other. It had been a night of discovery for both of them.

Kestra had not been able to share intimacies with anyone since the death of Patra. Ephiny had had very few lovers after Phantes was killed, and was not comfortable in any long-term relationship. She had tried to distance herself from her emotional side, preferring to immerse herself in the political side of her regency. It had kept her busy but was emotionally unfulfilling.

The past couple of years had been very hard for Ephiny. She saw a young girl from Potedeia blossom into a lovely confident woman. It had brought tears to her eyes when she saw how the woman had gazed lovingly into the deadly blue eyes of the Warrior Princess. She'd fantasized that maybe one day Gabrielle would come to feel that way about her.

Why couldn't she get over Phantes and move on? She'd felt so happy when Kestra had kissed her. After a full night of loving, Ephiny was completely satiated. She really didn't have anything to complain about. No sir. But there did seem to be something missing.

The two women complimented each other sexually; there was no problem there. Both were very physical, demanding, energetic and inventive. Both gleaned as much pleasure in the giving as in the receiving. It was a very sexually fulfilling relationship. But still...

Ephiny tried to think back upon her childhood in the village. Was there a solution to why she was so hard to please? Was she unrealistic in her wants and desires? Maybe her sights were too high.

Eponin paced quickly outside the Regent's hut. She had both ears plugged with her fingers in an effort to close out the passionate sounds coming from within.

Eponin suddenly stopped pacing. She gingerly took out one finger. All was quiet. Hmmm, that could sure change in a hurry, though. She listened. With a deep sigh she walked over to the bench outside the Regent's hut and flopped down. She was miserable. How did she get talked into this 'mission' in the first place? she wondered. What you'll do for friends!

Chapter Two

Ephiny had been a wild child, growing up in a loving house hold with a very attentive mother and aunt. It was a 'normal' Amazon upbringing - just one big happy family. Each adult acted as a surrogate mother so that all the children felt loved and cared for by the whole village.

No subject was taboo, and no curiosity was frowned upon in Amazon society.

There were great works of literature in the village's library. Each child had to learn how to read and write as well as learning woods lore and the use of weapons. They were taught how to cook, make a smokeless fire, use certain herbs for healing and where to inflict the most pain on an enemy. It was a very well-rounded education and had stood the nation in good stead.

Ephiny had fallen in love with Phantes during the war between the Amazons and the Centaurs. She hadn't meant to. She was certainly not looking for love. And certainly not with a hated enemy.

He had come upon her in the forest. She lay wounded, an arrow protruding from her left thigh. She had dragged herself over to a tree and clutched her knife before her, daring anyone to come closer.

She had lost a lot of blood and was weakening by the moment. Phantes had waited until she was unconscious before picking her up and carrying her deep into the forest.

It had been something about her eyes, he'd told her later. She'd had the look of a beautiful deer caught in a trap. She had been so brave, keeping her enemy at bay with a simple dagger. It became apparent to all who came upon her that she was just too much trouble to bother with. There were easier pickings elsewhere.

When she had come to, she was wrapped in a blanket under a makeshift lean-to. A figure stood by the fire, his back to the woman. She had tried to get up but a small groan had alerted her captor. He approached cautiously, hands up in supplication. He had knelt down and they had spent the evening just watching each other.

He had removed the arrow, cleansed and bound the wound and had made a tasty supper besides. As the evening progressed, both warriors made small attempts at conversation. The more they talked the easier it became.

Ephiny had never before experienced the emotions she had for Phantes. Her heart was so full of love and desire for him. Both knew their love would be frowned upon but it didn't stop them.

It wasn't too long into her pregnancy that both felt they had to get away and make a life for themselves elsewhere. It was too hard seeing each other every now and again. Their trysts became very stressful as both knew they were being watched. It saddened them both when they finally decided to leave their families and homes for Athens.

Looking back, Ephiny truly believed it had been the only solution they could have made. That it had resulted in her mates' death broke the woman's heart into a million jagged pieces. She thought she would never have those feelings again.

Chapter Three

Eponin slowly made her way towards the dining hut. Well, she thought, might as well get it over with. She sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair. She tried very hard to calm her wildly beating heart. Whew! Listening to those two in the repeated throws of passion was enough to make her drag anyone into the bushes and ravish them. Repeatedly.

As she entered the hut it was not hard to pick out the loan figure at the back. Solari miserably poked her bowl of oatmeal. Her blond hair hung in tangles and the woman didn't look like she'd slept in days.

She barely looked up as Eponin took a seat beside her. The usually gruff weapon's master really felt badly for her friend. She draped on arm around the woman's shoulders and briskly gave her a hug. In a camaraderie sort of way, of course. She had a reputation to protect, after all.

Red rimmed eyes looked over at Eponin, a silent question asked. The look on her friends' face told volumes. Solari really didn't want to go there. But, well...she still held out hope that Kestra was just a passing fling for Ephiny and that the woman would move onto someone else. Damn, but it had been so hard to see them together! If only, she thought for the millionth time.

Solari had worshipped the Regent from afar for what seemed like forever. She didn't entertain any delusions about being able to win Ephiny's heart with beauty or battle prowess. No, she was rather average, as Amazons went.

Sure, Ephiny had always been courteous and had been friendly with all of her sisters. Everyone knew they could approach her for any problems. Many had. Everyone had the utmost respect for the Regent. What little rumours there were centered on how lonely the woman was. Ephiny had had very few lovers over the years. And none since she'd become Regent.

Solari just couldn't approach Ephiny about how she felt. When she'd seen her reaction to Kestra mooning over Xena, it was like a nasty slap in her face. It had broken her heart to see the pain written on the Regent's face. Part of her was happy that Ephiny had found someone and had a smile back on her face. She wanted her to be happy. She just wished that the smiles were directed towards her instead.

"Okay, Ep. Spill it. But please, don't get graphic on me. I don't think I could take it right now."

Eponin drummed her fingers on the table. What to say, she thought. If she told the truth her friend might harm herself. If she lied...well, lies had a way of coming back and biting a person in the butt. No matter how careful they were. She had to find a middle ground.

"Um, Solari. I really feel uncomfortable about this. I mean, I really felt, well kinda like a Peeping Tom, ya know?" She paused but saw the look on Solari's face and continued."Ok, ok. Yeah, they were making it, ok. Is that what you want to hear! Don't look at me like that, Ari. Geez. You did ask me, right? I won't lie to ya."

"Ep, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have asked you to do that. I know you and Eph are friends and you feel uncomfortable. I just...well, I need to know if there's a chance for me. I won't let another one pass me by, believe me."

"Look, Solari. I don't know much about love. I mean, I know its out there, but I've never experienced it for myself. But it seems to me that ya should, you know, tell her. I mean, maybe if she knew how ya felt and all." Solari didn't say anything. She just sat, looking thoughtful.

After waiting a few minutes, Eponin decided that she'd lost her appetite. She patted her friend's hand and got up to leave. Maybe she could interest Xena in some drills. Those two hadn't been seen since last night either. She hesitated about approaching their hut. She really didn't need another lesson on the different sounds a person could make while 'doing it'.

She got closer to their hut. She looked around. Hmm. Everything looked normal. She could hear the two women talking. Well, that was a good sign. She straightened her leathers and bravely strode forth.

She was about to clear her throat when she heard Gabrielle gasp. And Xena moan. Oops! She quickly pivoted on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. The poor woman spent the next three candlemarks engaged in very strenuous combat drills. She just seemed to be looking for a fight. Funny how frustration does that to a person.

Chapter Four

Gabrielle hugged her body to Xena in exhaustion, her hair matted and damp with sweat. Xena had her pinned against one wall of the hut, the woman's legs wrapped around her torso. She kissed the bard's nose as she fondled the perfect flesh of her lover's buttocks.

"No. No more, Xena. Please, love...can't we, you know, just snuggle for awhile? I mean, I'm really exhausted, ya know? Its been a long night, love." She yawned and nuzzled her lover's neck.

Xena stepped back and let Gabrielle's legs touch the ground before sweeping her up into strong arms and carrying her over to the bed.

As they lay holding each other, Gabrielle caught her lover's chin and looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you so much." she said earnestly. 

"Ditto." the warrior replied, planting a light kiss on the bard's lips. Gabrielle sighed contentedly and cuddled closer.

"I wonder how Eph and Kes are doing?" pondered the bard. Xena chuckled softly. She tickled the bard's chin. "Guess you were too busy to notice the screams of passion. Other than mine, that is."

Gabrielle snorted. " Oh, I noticed. I never thought that Ephiny was the vocal type. I mean, my ears are still ringing!"

"Yeah. I guess still waters do run deep. She always seems so...well, reserved. Its kind of shocking to find a veritable volcano lurking just below her surface. She is...a very passionate person, huh?" Xena looked at her bard quizzically.

Gabrielle arched both eyebrows. "Why are you looking at me? Believe me, I've never been on the receiving end of any passionate looks let alone anything else. How would I know?"

"Hey, I've seen the way she looks at you, that's all. I mean, you are a very beautiful woman, Gabrielle." She took a deep breath. "Ok, ok, so I'm a bit jealous."

"No reason to be, love. You have my heart. Only you." And with that, she kissed her warrior deeply. They rubbed foreheads first and then noses. Gabrielle's tummy began to rumble.

"Hmm. I think that voracious appetite of yours wants to be fed. Up, bard. Let's go get washed and see about getting some breakfast. Maybe Eph and Kestra will be there and we can sit and get caught up." said Xena, as she rolled over to sit up at the side of the bed.

"Hey, come on." She caressed the bard's shoulder, seeing the woman was snuggling back under the covers

"Up, love. Let's have a quick bath and get this day started. Gods knows, its almost half gone now."

Gabrielle gave a pouty look but got up, throwing the blanket on the floor. Soon both women were up to their necks in cold bath water. Xena had a contented smile on her face as her lover carefully washed her hair.

Then it was Gabrielle's turn. She leaned back into Xena's chest and sighed. "How could I have possibly been happy before this?" she wondered.

Xena chucked. "Ya mean you're totally, absolutely happy?" Gabrielle turned and wrapped her arms around the warrior and hugged her hard. "Yup. Completely." They exchanged sweet kisses that soon became more passionate.

They never made it to breakfast.

Kestra sauntered over to the dining hut. Solari was still brooding at the back table. Her eyes shot daggers at the woman. Kestra ignored the looks and piled food onto a tray. She picked a table close to the back and sat down.

An uncomfortable silence descended on the room. Most of the Amazons present discovered they had urgent business elsewhere and the others, well, they made no excuses, they just bolted. Soon the two women were alone.

Solari got to her feet and stalked over to where the other woman sat, her hands clenched at her sides.

"I hope you know just how lucky you are to have Ephiny. I've seen how she looks at you. Do you love her?" No answer. "You'll break her heart if you don't. You'd better not hurt her, Kestra. You won't be able to hide from me then." The threat hung heavily in the air.

Kestra said nothing, merely shrugged her shoulders and began to eat. Solari stormed out and made for the practice field. She knew it was the best place to work off her anger. She just hoped she didn't end up hurting any of her combatants too much.

Kestra sat, elbows on the table, pondering Solari's words. She thought of the love making she and her new lover shared in the past 18 hours. It seemed as if a dam had been broken for both of them. She knew how unhappy the Regent had been. She was pleased she could put a smile on the woman's face.

How did she feel about her, though. She absently picked at her food. She was honoured that someone could feel love towards her. The last person had been Patra. They had given each other their heart, body and soul. Kestra sighed.

She honestly didn't think she could ever do that again. It had been too hard to watch Patra being raped and killed while she tried to fight off the attackers. After she had inflicted too many injuries they had fled, taking their wounded with them. Leaving a very broken and distraught Kestra to hold her lover in her arms until she died. As Patra gasped out her last breath, Kestra had kissed her, knowing that part of her own soul had died along with her.

Kestra knew she'd have to make Ephiny understand that while she did love her, it would never be with all of her heart. It would be a painful conversation; she hated the thought of hurting Ephiny.

Ephiny slowly pulled on her clothes and sat at the edge of her bed. She should be feeling happy but instead was feeling...sad. Although she enjoyed being with Kestra and really wanted the woman in her life she had some doubts that Kestra felt the same way.

To be honest, Ephiny knew she would never feel the same way towards anyone as she did for Phantes. The love she now felt was different. It made her happy and she hadn't felt wanted for a very long time. She desperately needed someone to share her life. She wanted it to be Kestra. She had felt something the first time the woman had looked into her eyes.

There was such sorrow in those grey flinty eyes. She longed to take the woman in her arms and sooth the pain all away. She felt her passion rekindled, even after the sexual marathon they'd just had.

They seemed to complement each other so well sexually. Each took pleasure in giving ecstasy that sometimes it seemed a battle of will as to who could give the most pleasure. Kestra seemed insatiable and after such a long drought in her own love life, Ephiny was happy to comply. Never had she experienced such earth shattering orgasms. The love between two women was just so pure and emotional. It compared to nothing else Ephiny had ever experienced.

She decided a long talk with Gabrielle was in order. Surely they'd be up having breakfast by now.

Deep in thought, Ephiny barely knocked on the doorway to the visitor's hut before entering.

Xena looked up from between Gabrielle's legs, one eyebrow arched. Quickly covering her breasts with her hands, the bard cleared her throat. "Um, Ephiny? Ah, could you, um...come back later?" she tried. When she got no answer she looked over at Xena with a frown.

Xena wiped her mouth and sat up. "Come on in, Eph, and grab a chair. Don't mind us." she said with a smirk.

Gabrielle hid her face in her hands and groaned. She quickly got up and retrieved the crumpled blanket and jumped back into bed. Her face was very red as she pulled the blanket over her head. "Oh Gods." she murmured, totally embarrassed.

Ephiny absentmindedly lowered herself into the proffered chair and gazed blankly at the wall. Xena gave the bard a worried look and sat up. She scrunched her eyebrows together. What, trouble in paradise already, she wondered. "So Eph. What's up?" she tried. The Regent looked up in surprise, taking in the scene before her. A very naked warrior was walking towards her! Where to look, where not to look she thought frantically.

"Oh geez. I'm so sorry...you were...busy...and I.." she stammered. "I'll - um -come back...later. Yeah, gee...later." She got up to leave, averting her eyes from the goddess before her. Xena placed one hand on the woman's shoulder and lifted Ephiny's chin. Xena's smile seemed to freeze any thought from the Regent's mind.

She felt entranced as soon as those cobalt blue eyes looked into her own. She gulped and stood mesmerized. Gabrielle appeared at her shoulder and placed a hand at the Regent's waist. "Eph? Ephiny, breathe."

It was all too much for the poor woman as her mind went into sensory overload. She mumbled something incoherently as the colour drained from her face. Her eyes took on a glassy look as her mouth hung open. She blinked rapidly.

Xena chuckled and picked the woman up and brought her to the bed. "Um, Gabrielle? Why don't I go and find Kestra and see what's going on." She began to dress quickly and walked over to the bath. She squeezed the excess water out of her hair after dunking her head into the water. She gave her lover a half smile. "And Gabrielle, get dressed, huh? I think your state of undress is distracting our friend."

"And being 'exposed' to the many charms of Xena, Warrior Babe had nothing to do with the state she's in now, huh?" snorted the bard looking for her clothing. "Ya know, I've heard this about your many skills, but wow, I've never seen them in action before. No wonder you're considered a dangerous woman, even without weapons!" Xena tried not to blush but it was a losing battle. The bard grinned and kissed her chin.

"Hey, when you find out what's up with Eph tell her I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. I mean, she did walk in during...well, the throes of passion. Its not my fault if she's receiving the left over vibes." She blew her lover a kiss and went off in search of Kestra, a frown replacing the smirk as soon as she left the hut.

She had never seen the Regent look so...unnerved. She had quite a few questions and Kestra was going to answer them all.

Chapter Five

Ephiny slowly sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. A crimson blush covered her face and her heart beat wildly. Not knowing where to look while Gabrielle dressed, she cast her eyes to the floor.

'My gods', she thought. 'What must they think of me!', she wondered for the fifth time. The whole embarrassing scene just kept replaying itself over and over in her mind. And the sight of what Xena had been doing! The blush deepened.

She still felt the cloying tentacles of sexual desire wafting over her. Xena just seemed to ooze sexual magnetism from every pore. Gabrielle's sexuality had always been somewhat of an enigma. She was an unknown quantity to those who lived in the village. Most of them had seen her grow from a brash, young, impetuous girl to a radiant and confident woman right before their very eyes.

Everyone knew she had been married for a short time. Few of the Amazons, however, were privy to the information that nothing had happened on the wedding night and that Gabrielle had still been a virgin. This latest visit to their village had finally dispelled any questions as to her relationship with the warrior princess. Many had assumed this relationship had been consummated long ago. Only Ephiny had shared the woman's secrets regarding that encounter.

Ephiny had noticed something right away when the two had first arrived. There seemed to be an aura around the two and it fairly bristled with electricity. Try as they could, the two just couldn't keep their hands off each other.

Gabrielle was simply Gabrielle when she was away from Xena. She had always been a very tactile person; simple emotions were to be expressed whenever and wherever they occurred. This had made things a little difficult for the warrior at first, Ephiny knew. The stoic woman tried very hard to keep her chiseled features completely devoid of any emotions. Judging Xena's current response to said emotions, it was evident the bard had finally broken down the barriers. Ephiny was a little surprised but glad, nevertheless.

When the two women got together, however, the combined intensity of their sexuality was so tangible one could cut it with a knife. The Regent had only been on the receiving end of the aftermath of such an encounter. She rolled her eyes and drew a deep breath just thinking about what it would actually be like to be on the receiving end of Xena's burning blue eyes or the bard's smoldering green ones.

Finally dressed, Gabrielle turned around and gazed fondly at her friend, who for some reason, couldn't bring herself to look her in the eye. She walked over and sat down next to the Regent. She took her hand and patted it.

"Are you okay, Eph? I'm sorry you caught us, well...busy. I guess we didn't hear you knock." Now Gabrielle looked rather flushed and embarrassed.

Friends could share secrets and such, but sharing such an intimate moment was...well, rather unsettling. Exciting in a way, yes, but...

Seeing that the bard was just as embarrassed about the whole incident took the tension down a notch or two. The two women slowly smiled at each other, their awkwardness slipping away. They embraced and soon were giggling. Then, after another hug, Gabrielle broached the subject of Kestra.

It was a full candlemark later when Gabrielle felt she'd gleaned all the information needed from her friend. She knew in her heart that if something ever happened to her warrior that she'd never love again. She sympathized easily with the Regent and hugged her close.

"Well, Eph. I know its not the same kind of love...but you do have a sparkle in your eyes when you talk about her. Does she know you have reservations about it? You have to tell her. And talking about it with her is the first step in resolving the tension between you."

Ephiny sniffled and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. She knew her friend was right. She just hoped that what she had to say to Kestra didn't hurt her any more than the poor woman had been.

A wave of intense emotions played across her face. Her eyes drew wide and she smiled.

"It must be love. I haven't felt such empathy for another person's sorrow for a long time. I care for our sisters, Gabrielle, but this is so much more intense, more meaningful. You're right. Thank you, my friend. Let's go find Kestra."

Gabrielle talked her out of that because she knew Xena was off sorting whatever was going on with Kestra. She manoeuvred the Regent over to the dining hut on the pretense that they both needed sustenance if only to keep up with their lovers. Both giggled at this but also knew it to be true. Just the mere thought made both women arch their eyebrows in anticipation of the lovemaking to come.

Eponin and Solari both sat outside the healer's hut, fresh wounds evident on both women. They sat, knees touching , as they commiserated with each other. Mind you, they took some personal pride in the fact that the reason they were still outside was that the hut was filled to capacity with their combatants.The way things were going, they'd have to stitch each other up. And probably do a better job, too.

Listening to the groans and moans coming from within had the two poking each other in the ribs quite a few times and snorting. Eponin made the mistake of comparing the noises to those she overheard from the visitor's hut. Not noticing the hurt look on Solari's face, she went on about what she figured the two had been doing, the positions, etc.

She finally glanced up when nothing was forthcoming from the woman. She blanched at the hurt expression on Solari's face and kicked herself a few times mentally. How could she be so insensitive to her best friend.

A tear trickled down from Solari's eye. She looked very embarrassed when she began to reciprocate her friend's hasty hug. They both looked very awkward, not being the openly demonstrative type. Nadri, the healer, took that moment to poke her head out the doorway, catching the women in an embrace.

"Hey, get a room, will ya? You can kiss each other's boo boos somewhere's else, right?"

Eponin stood up and glared at the woman. Solari just burst into tears. Nadri gave them both a dirty look and went back to work, patching foolish Amazons who should know better than tangle with these two.

Eponin took her friend back to her hut, daring anyone to look in their direction. People positively jumped out of her way, scrambling to avoid her icy stare.

Chapter Six

Xena stopped by the stable to check on Argo before heading out to the practice field in search of the elusive Kestra. Argo lifted her head and snorted her greeting. She looked quite content, munching her hay. By the looks of things someone had already groomed and fed her. Xena was rather surprised at this: no one touched her horse without prior permission. Who ever 'they' were had done an excellent job, though. Xena left, scratching her head.

On her way to the field, the warrior saw Eponin taking Solari down towards her hut. Solari looked quite upset. The weapon's master caught Xena's eye and motioned her closer.

"Ah Xena? You got a minute? I need some advice on something. You mind?"

Xena arched an eyebrow. Eponin looked decidedly awkward. And Solari never even tried to get herself under some kind of control, openly weeping against her friends' shoulder.

"Well, Eponin, it'll have to wait 'til later. I'm trying to find Kestra right now." Xena was a little surprised when Solari let out a wail and cried louder. Now she was the one who felt decidedly uncomfortable. What is it about the Amazon's these days?! she thought. They were either trying to kill each other or were crying over nothing lately. First there was Ephiny, then Kestra, Solari and now Eponin. What was in the water around here anyway?!

Eponin gave Xena a dirty look and walked her friend to her hut. Xena had intended on asking Ep whether she'd seen Kestra. Both women looked so distraught she decided against it. She shook her head and continued on to the practice field.

Solari sat dejectedly on the corner of Eponin's bed. Her eyes were red rimmed and she was in definite need of something to blow her nose. She looked around the room. Eponin came in carrying a water bag and a few rags. She took one look at her friend and tried to pat the woman's shoulder.

"I'm making such a fool out of myself! I'm really sorry, Ep." said Solari, unsuccessfully trying to stop her tears. Eponin sat down beside her and held her close. "Hey, its okay, alright? You can, you know, talk to me about it if you want to. I'm not so good at this advice thing, but...well, I am a good listener."

Solari gave her a weak smile and hugged her friend back. The weapon's master suddenly found it hard to swallow. She tried to loosen Solari's arms from around her neck but the woman only held on tighter. Boy, if she wasn't awkward before, she sure was now!

"I guess I really should talk to Eph about this. You were right about that. You are really a good friend, Ep, and I know you listen well. I don't know what I'd do without you." She paused and then looked up into her friends eyes. She wasn't prepared for the smoldering look in her friend's eye. She jerked back in surprise, dropping her arms. Eponin jumped up, heart pounding wildly.

"Um. Um. I gotta go, Solari. Um, do you think you'll be okay now? Can I get you, um..anything before I leave?" Eponin tried to look anywhere else except the bed. The more she tried not to look at Solari the harder it became. She saw the flustered look on her friend's face and bolted from the room.

Solari sat there, dumfounded. Had she seen passion in those eyes? She threw herself back on the bed and covered her eyes. Life was just getting too complicated!

Kestra was busy going through some intricate drill patterns and didn't notice Xena watching from the side lines. The woman was really working up a sweat, thought Xena. Pretty good at some of those moves, too. She'd better watch that one pattern, though or...She raced over and looked down at Kestra, lying in the dirt.

"You ok?" she asked, offering the woman a hand up.

Kestra grinned and was pulled up. She dusted herself off and explained that she'd been trying unsuccessfully to nail that particular pattern for a long time.

Xena went through the drill slowly, pointing out certain details of where Kestra was slipping up. As she did so, she began questioning the woman about her blossoming relationship with the Regent.

When Kestra told the warrior about her past relationship with Patra, it all seemed to make sense. Kestra was afraid to commit to this new relationship because she was afraid. Afraid that it would be taken away again.

Oh, she knew that Kestra thought it was because she had already given her heart and soul to her first love. How could she give that kind of love again? Xena pondered on that for awhile. She knew there would never be anyone else for her but Gabrielle and that she'd never love again if something ever happened to her bard. But she hadn't been a starry-eyed girl and, she thought, this young woman certainly had been.

First loves were the hardest to get over. The two women sat in the dirt and talked it out. Xena pointed out Kestra's lack of experience in prior relationships before Patra. And maybe this love she had felt for the woman was not being seen in a realistic light. People often viewed dead lovers through unrealistically enhanced memories.

The more Xena talked, the more Kestra was nodding her head. She and Xena were warriors: communication skills were not high on their priority lists. However, an easy camaraderie seemed to exist between them. Xena knew what she was saying was helping the warrior. She just hoped that it would help Ephiny, too. She also hoped that her lover was giving the Regent some good advice and that the two would really work things out. Xena really liked Ephiny. Not only had she proven to be an accomplished Amazon warrior but also a good friend to both she and Gabrielle. And she was turning out to be a first class Regent for the Amazon Nation as well. This certainly made Xena feel better about traipsing all over Greece with Gabrielle, leaving the brunt of the politics to Ephiny.

Just as the two women where leaving the field Eponin stormed onto the scene. She took one look at Kestra and scowled.

"Ah, Xena? Ya gotta minute?" She motioned over to a quiet corner with a jerk of her head. Xena gave Kestra a look and told her she'd see her later.

Eponin kept looking over her shoulder, watching as Kestra moved off. She didn't want that woman any where near her. She had hurt Solari and that was unforgivable.

"I got a problem, Xena, and I need your advice." Eponin said in a rush. She moved from one foot to the other, still glancing over her shoulder. Boy, thought Xena. This was just getting too weird. Who was she to be giving advice? For crying out loud! Which one of the Gods was having a laugh over this? She arched an eyebrow and sighed. Well, she thought, how bad could it be? After all, Ep was just as stoic as she was herself. Must be something for her to be asking for advice. She leaned against the fence and nodded.

"Sure Ep, what's on your mind? You want some help with those wounds?"

Eponin took a spot near the fence and began studying her boots. She opened her mouth a few times but nothing seemed to come out.

"Ah, no. I'll take care of them later. I guess I should stitch up Solari, though."She cleared her voice twice, looking very awkward.

"Damn, this is awkward! Don't know where to start. Whole thing has me flummoxed, ya know?" The earnest look on her face had Xena biting her lip. The blush on Eps face was sure a new look. She cleared her throat and began looking at her own boots. These sensitive chats were going to be the end of her! How did Gabrielle do it?

"Why don’t you start at the beginning?"

"Well, its like this, Xena. Um, you know how Kestra is mooning over Ephiny? Well, its breaking Ari's heart. I mean, she's loved that woman for years but never said nothin. She's been having me kinda spy on Eph. I don't mind telling you. I feel really weird about it, ya know?"

Xena snickered when the woman told her about sitting outside the Regents hut, listening to the noises coming from within. That must have been an eye opener, thought the warrior, grinning. Heck, she and Gabrielle could hear those two over their own moaning. And the bard was very vocal herself.

"Solari is really upset about this, and, well, she's looking to me to help her out. Now, I'm finding myself in, well, a weird position here, Xena. I mean, she's hanging all over me..and well, crying in my arms. And she smells so good. And her arms feel so..." She looked up, trying to gauge her friend's reaction to what she was saying.

Xena's forehead was scrunched up. Her arms were crossed over her breasts and she sighed deeply.

"Maybe you're too close to this, Eponin. Maybe you feel like you have to make her feel better when she's vulnerable and well, just got caught up in it."

Eponin bit her lip and scratched her chin. "Nope. That's not it. I do wanna comfort her. In the worst way. I mean, geez, she really gets my heart beating, ya know? Whoa, is it getting hot or what?"

"Have you ever talked to her about this, Ep? I mean, isn't this a little out of the blue? How long have you felt like this?"

Eponin stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Look, Xena. Solari and me, we grew up spending a lot of time together, right? We used to rough house together: she busted my arm when we were seven, I wrecked hers when we were ten. We got to know each other's weaknesses, ya know?

She was always falling for some girl, always setting herself up for a let down. When she got older, she got really obsessive with Ephiny and started begging me to spy on her and the centaur. I knew it was wrong but, hey, I could see how much this whole thing was hurting her. So I did it. Didn't like it then, don't much like it now."

Xena told her about how she felt about Perdicus being in Gabrielle's life. She hadn't spied on the two of them but it sure had made her uncomfortable.

Eponin didn't know just when she'd begun regarding her best friend as more than that. It was just funny to wake up one morning and discover that you'd been looking for your whole life was right there under your nose. She'd begun to follow Solari as she in turn spied on Ephiny. She kept telling herself it was because she feared Solari might harm herself when she realized that Ephiny didn't want her. In truth, the weapon's master had begun to find herself sexually drawn to her best friend. It was to the point now that it physically hurt Eponin to see her with anyone.

"So, why haven't you ever said anything? Why now?"

"Well, you know, I was asking Solari that very question this morning. I thought, gee, I'm one to give any advice, ya know? Can't even tell the woman I love how I feel!"

Xena knew just how hard it was. It had taken over two seasons to be able to open her heart to Gabrielle. Talk about the wrong person to be giving advice!

"So...let me get this straight. Ephiny loves Kestra. Solari loves Ephiny. You love Solari. Is that right? Have I got the picture?"

"Yeah. That just about sums it up. So, whatcha think? What should I do?"

Xena drummed her fingers on her forearm. She sighed at how ridiculous things were getting in her life. Remind me, she thought, not to come here for awhile. All she wanted to do was spend time with Gabrielle and explore their new relationship. It was just too much. Heck, she hadn't even had lunch!

"Well. I gotta tell you. Ephiny and Kestra are a done deal, okay? Its best if Solari moves on and gets over her. And, well, if you think you have a chance with Solari, well, you better tell her. I mean, maybe you should talk to Gabrielle about all this. She usually does this kinda thing. I think she'll tell you the same thing, though. Heck, all Solari can say is no, right. Then at least you'll be able to put it behind you, too."

Eponin began to grin. "Hey, what am I afraid of? I mean, I'm an Amazon warrior, right? Hey, I can do this. Right? I mean, how hard could this be. Right?" A light sweat broke out on her forehead. She began tapping her foot nervously.

"Look, Ep. I can't do this for you. You have to do yourself, okay? I'll ask Gabrielle to see how Solari feels about this, though. How's that?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, Xena. I mean it." She punched the warrior in the shoulder and walked away.

"Maybe I'll go help Solari with some stitching, huh?"

Xena snorted. She pushed herself away from the fence and slowly walked off the field.

She went over to the dining hut and grabbed some bread and cheese. She palmed a few pieces of fruit and headed back to her hut. Maybe an afternoon nap was in order. With a certain golden red head. A smile spread across her tanned face. Yes indeed. A nice long, leisurely 'nap'. Definitely in order. She chuckled as she entered the room.

Gabrielle lay on the bed, leaning against the head board. Their eyes met and they both grinned.

"Nap time, my bard?" purred Xena.

"Well, if that's all you had in mind..." answered Gabrielle with a little pout.

Xena growled and made her way over to the bed. She crawled up her lover, straddling the woman's legs. She pulled her down onto the pillow and began placing small kisses on the bard's face. Very slowly, she took the woman's lips in her own and began probing her mouth with her tongue.

It was amazing how fast the two got out of their clothes. And what a long nap they had, too.

Chapter Seven

Gabrielle groaned contentedly, lying between the muscular thighs of the warrior princess. She gently caressed her lover's dark thatch of pubic hair. Xena made slow intricate patterns on the bard's shoulders, kissing her golden hair every now and again. Both women had silly grins plastered on their faces, bodies covered in a light sheen of sweat.

"So, what did Kes say? They didn't have a spat, did they?" Gabrielle propped her chin on Xena's ample chest and gazed lovingly into her azure eyes. Xena tousled the woman's hair and grinned before responding.

"Na. Actually, Kes is a bit frightened about her feelings for Eph. You know how first loves are. She's kinda blowing her memories of Patra out of proportion. You know, remember only the good things."

"So, she's afraid to commit to Ephiny until she can put Patra behind her, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. Didn't I just say that?"

"Um, yeah. You did. Uh huh. That's what I heard."

"Ok, so I'm new at these wordy answers. Gimme a break, love" she said as she tipped Gabrielle's head up for a kiss.

"Hey, you'll get the hang of this. After all, you've only had to give Kestra some advice, right?"

Xena arched her eyebrow and smirked.

"This was one weird day, Gabrielle. I mean, let's see. First Eph barges in on us and we have to figure out what's going on with her. Then I go talk to Kes to see her side. Then, and this was just too weird, love: Eponin wants my advice on her love life. Hey, I swear it! Anyway, Solari is just a pool of tears over Eph and Ep, well she's telling me she's got the hots for Ari, for crying out loud. I mean, really! My warrior mode must need some fine tuning. Do I look like Xena Warrior Therapist to you?"

Gabrielle's body shook with laughter. She rolled off the warrior and landed on the floor. Xena propped herself up on one elbow and gave her 'the look'. This only made the bard laugh harder, tears rolling down her reddened cheeks.

"Oh, stop - no more...please, Xena!"

"I'm glad you find this so amusing. Hey, I got a reputation to protect here, ya know?" Xena sat on the side of the bed and held her hand out to her lover. She pulled Gabrielle into her arms and lay back on the bed.

"I'm sorry, love. That is just too rich, though. I thought the 'sensitive chats' were my field of expertise." She giggled again and hugged her warrior.

"Yup. And don't think I didn't sic Eponin on you, either. It was really embarrassing to see the look in her eye, Gabrielle. I mean, she's like this gaga-eyed teenager! I never, never thought I'd see that hunk of granite reduced to a love sick puppy." She snorted, missing a knowing look from her lover.

"Uh huh. And who would have thought you could be...such a romantic, MY hunk of granite." she purred seductively at Xena.

A half grin appeared on the warrior's face. She snorted. "Busted, right? Pot calling the kettle black. Ya, well, it's just...different. Ep's always, I dunno, been really detached. I don't think I ever saw her with anyone from the village. Don't think I ever heard any rumours about her and a man, either."

"Wait a minute, Xena. Let's back track here. Are you saying Eponin and Solari..."

Xena stroked her face. "Yup. I don't know how Solari feels about this but Ep's head over heels. Gonna really hurt her if Ari doesn't feel the same way."

"I knew Solari felt deeply for Ephiny, but I thought it was, well, puppy love. I mean, doesn't she fall in and out of love on a regular basis? At least that's what I heard."

"Well, anyway, you do the chats with them. I don't want to go there. What is it with these Amazons. I wonder if Aphrodite is pulling one of her usual stunts. Or maybe Cupid. Hey, if that kid of his has gotten hold of some more of his Dad's arrows - that kid is a menace! I'm still having flashbacks over what nearly happened with Draco!" The warrior princess shuddered.

"Well, Xena, if this had been a perfect world, I would have looked at you and not Joxer! I mean, ewww! He's a nice guy, but...let's change the subject, please." Parts of Joxer's dumb song still found its way into the bard's subconscious. She shuddered and tried to rub the goose bumps off her arms.

"Ephiny is a bit worried, too. She really loved Phantes. Seeing him killed like that...ripped apart by dogs...couldn't have been a nice memory to have. I think she's barricaded her heart away so no one else can hurt her again. I think Kestra has torn down some of them. Tell you what I see. I see a total lack of communication here. They should just sit down and talk it all over."

Xena flipped the bard over onto the bed. "And your form of reference would be what?" Xena kissed Gabrielle sweetly and continued. "I mean, look at us. We really got with the program right away, right? Didn't drag our feet, huh? Just took us two full winters before we declared our love."

Looking very chagrinned, Gabrielle allowed "Okay, alright. I'll give you that one. We were pretty silly, mooning over each other, afraid to say what we really felt."

Both women sighed deeply, caught up in their memories.

Xena got up from the bed and padded over to the door. She peered out. Almost time for the evening meal. She collected her clothing, which was strewn all over the room, and quickly dressed.

"Hey, bard. Let's go bathe down at the hot springs and then grab us some food. Sound good?"

"Oh, yeah." The woman's stomach grumbled noisily. "Time to feed this particular bard therapist, that's for sure.

Gabrielle arose from the bed and helped her love with the laces at the back of her leather bodice. She looked about for her own clothing. She gave Xena a dirty look, holding up a torn halter top.

"Ahem! A bit boisterous, weren't we? Well, I guess it's time I got a new one. You never did like this colour, did you?"

Xena snickered, hiding her mouth with the back of her hand. "Well..." She left the rest unfinished.

Gabrielle walked over to their saddle bags and quickly pulled out an old shirt of Xena's and belted it at the waist. She smoothed the fabric over her breasts and stood sideways for Xena's opinion.

Xena clicked her mouth and winked at the woman. "Looking mighty fine there, Gabrielle. You might want to adjust those sleeves, though. Here." She removed her breast dagger and trimmed the shirt to fit. She shortened the length as well.

She stood back and appraised her handiwork. "Yup. Looks mighty fine."

"I guess this means you don't want this shirt back, huh?" She brought the sleeve up to her face and sniffed appreciatively. "Mmmm. Smells just like you. Nope, you are definitely not getting this thing back."

Xena chuckled and the two left their hut in search of a bath and some food. Both had worked up quite an appetite. And who knew what the rest of the evening would hold?

Ephiny sat on her bed, holding Kestra's hands in her own. Both women had been talking for at least two candlemarks. It had been hard at first, to get the warrior to talk about her past with Patra. The woman had cleared her throat many times during the telling, the Regent encouraging her with gentle caresses and small words of love.

Kestra had finally gotten it all out. Her heart felt lanced of it's bitterness and sorrow. She looked deeply into Ephiny's brown eyes. She saw only acceptance and love there.

Ephiny had come to quite a few truths with Gabrielle and so was patient with her new love. It had been somewhat liberating to acknowledge that her heart could love so deeply again. Phantes would always hold a special place in her heart. She couldn't look at Xenon and not think of his father.

Both women wanted this relationship to work. They both had respect and love for each other and knew that it would not be just a passing thing. They had both been through too much for that. It was these shared experiences that would bond them closer.

Kestra leaned over and caressed the Regents broad chin with the tip of her finger.

"How'd I get so lucky?" She sealed this rhetoric question with her lips. The kiss grew in passion and was soon being returned with as much fervour. Both women broke off the kiss with a gasp.

Kestra slowly stood and brought the Regent up to stand beside her. Without taking her eyes from Ephiny's face, she began to slowly strip. The Regent began to cover each inch of bare flesh with a caress as each article of clothing was dropped to the floor. Her hands found their way to cup Kestra's buttocks, gently massaging the muscular globes.

She drew the woman closer so that their lips were almost touching. She rubbed noses with her lover but still teased her by not kissing the half opened lips before her. The tip of Kestra's tongue slipped out and slowly traced the Regent's lower lip. Both groaned at the contact.

Kestra stood nude before her lover. She clasped the woman's hands over her heart and closed her eyes. A tiny tear dropped from her eye. Ephiny sniffed quickly, finding her own tears falling unbidden.

"I pledge my heart to you, my Regent. I give my heart, my soul and my sword. I would gladly die for you, should you desire it. All that I have, all that I am, is yours." She dropped to her knees and placed her face on her lovers lower belly.

Ephiny was overcome with such intense emotions. What had she been afraid of? She knew, without further doubt, that this was her destiny.

"Arise, my love. Kestra, I take thee as my royal consort. Will you stand by my side and help rule the Amazon Nation? Would you have me to share your life?"

Kestra's mouth hung open, eyes wide in surprise. She gulped deeply and tried to find her voice. After a few squeaks she grinned and cleared her voice, looking very sheepish.

"Yes, my Regent, my love." They fell into each other's arms and kissed passionately. After a short time they drew apart and both began to talk at once. Much laughter was heard and plans were made. Then there was silence and the sounds of glorious lovemaking.

Xena and Gabrielle sat at a table near the back. Xena held one of the bard's hands as she ate her meal and Gabrielle had one hand on the warriors upper thigh. The bard, having finished her own large plate of supper, helped herself to her lover's plate.

Everyone looked up as the Regent entered. She held up her hands and a hush fell over the room. Behind her stood Kestra, looking very solemn but proud. Solari and Eponin were conspicuously missing from the dinner crowd.

Ephiny cleared her throat. "Sisters, I bring you great news. I have finally decided on my consort. The Amazon Nation shall rejoice in our joining and a great feast shall take place one moon from tonight."

Everyone looked rather surprised and wondered who it could be. Xena gave Gabrielle a knowing smile which was lovingly returned. The bard's hand found its way under the warrior's leather skirt unnoticed by all but a rapidly blushing warrior princess.

"May I present my royal consort: Kestra." The crowd went crazy, coming forward to wish the new couple congratulations on the upcoming nuptials. Xena, standing head and shoulders above the rest, caught the Regent's eye and grinned. Ephiny raised Kestra's hand, tightly clasped in her own, and smiled at Xena.

Xena sat down and lifted her goblet of ale to toast the celebration. Her face softened when she realized Gabrielle was crying, caught up in the moment. Xena drew her close and hugged her. This made the bard cry harder. Momentarily at a loss, Xena could only hold her lover and wonder what she could do to fix what ever was bothering the woman. They had already explored many of the physical remedies to such a problem. Her forehead was scrunched as she pondered her solutions.

As the crowd followed the two betrothed Amazons out of the hut, Xena and Gabrielle were left to sit and ponder their future. Xena was thinking only of the present and near future. Getting the bard to stop crying was paramount. Then having her get the problem out was second. Not letting enemies know of her affection for the bard thereby endangering them both in the near future was third on the short list.

Gabrielle, however, was heart sick because she wanted the same commitment from her warrior that Kestra and Ephiny had.

Was it enough that Xena loved her deeply and was now getting used to showing her feelings for the bard openly? Was it fair of the bard to want more?

As the night progressed the women quietly made their way back to the visitor's hut, each silent and caught up in their thoughts. They lay fully clothed on the bed; the bard lying in the crook of her warrior' shoulder, Xena lying on her back staring at the ceiling.

It would be a long night for both of them. Gabrielle finally fell into the arms of Morpheus many candlemarks later but the warrior greeted the dawn still unable to sleep.

She watched the room slowly fill up with the pink rays of dawn, bathing them in its wake. She looked down on the slumbering bard and felt her heart weep. She was overcome with love for this woman. How she could be so lucky to have her a part of the warrior's life was a question she often asked herself. She knew for certain that she had merely existed before the bard had come into her life. And delusional when she thought she couldn't be happier before they had shared intimacies. Her love knew no bounds and Xena knew then what she should do to mend her lover's obviously bruised heart.

A little smile danced over the warriors lips. Her eyes sparkled and she hugged the bard closer to her. Gabrielle mumbled Xena's name and cuddled deeper into the warrior's embrace.

Chapter Eight

Gabrielle made her way down to the communal hot springs, soap and towel in hand. She was humming to herself, having been awakened by her amorous warrior in such a way as to keep a smile plastered on her face for hours, if not all day.

Ephiny sat in one of the smaller pools, head back and eyes closed. Two of the Regent’s honour guard lounged by the side, carrying on some light conversation. The two warriors immediately jumped to their feet as Gabrielle placed her belongings by the side of the pool.

"You may leave us, girls. Just don't go too far. Perhaps you could pick up a wine skin on your way back from your break."

The women looked happy to have the opportunity to grab some breakfast. They had been on duty since daybreak. Besides, their idle chatter was giving the Regent a headache. The lack of sleep the past few nights was really starting to catch up to the woman and trying to carry on a meaningless conversation at this point was just too taxing.

She settled back against the rocks and smiled at her friend as she entered the pool.

"So, Gabrielle, how are you this morning? You look positively radiant. I see that being with Xena seems to agree with you. Although I'm sure you are getting as little sleep as I am these days, you certainly don't show it. How do you do it?"

Gabrielle blushed and fiddled with the soap. Ephiny found this particular affectation most endearing about her friend. The woman was modest, self-depreciating and confident, all at the same time.

"Well, actually, I guess we're just making up for lost time. I mean, we just can't seem to get enough of one another." The bard paused, eyes twinkling. "She really is a woman of many skills."

Ephiny burst out laughing, eyes wide. Who would have ever thought that the wee bard from Potedeia could be so bold?

"My goodness, woman. You are just too cute for words." She hugged the bard and kissed her cheek. This made Gabrielle blush even harder, remembering the encounter between she, Xena and the Regent last morning. The bard was still feeling quite tingly from her recent love making with Xena.

"Come on. Pass me the soap and I'll do your back, Gabrielle. Then you can wash my hair. Delia and Mordea were positively useless this morning; having eyes only for each other. I'll have to remember not to post them on duty with each other again. Their banter was positively nauseating. Were we ever that young?"

Gabrielle felt part feline, having her back scrubbed just the way she liked it. Xena always seemed to treat her with kid gloves, as if she would break. Ephiny seemed to know exactly how hard to scrub without hurting the bard.

When the Regent was finished she bent over one of Gabrielle's shoulders and placed a gentle kiss on the woman's cheek. One of the bard's eyebrows went up but she said nothing, moving behind her friend and starting on her hair.

Ephiny tilted her head back, enjoying the scalp massage and closeness of her friend. She and Kestra had talked about just how arousing the bard and the warrior princess were to the both of them. Kestra had admitted to currying Xena's horse ever since the couple had arrived. They had both laughed rather sheepishly while the Regent retold of her embarrassing interruption, catching the women making love.

Kestra had her lover go into minute detail. Ephiny found this hard to do since her brain had taken a separate holiday because of the intense sensory overload. Just thinking about what the two had been doing made her groin clench in response.

"I want to thank you Gabrielle for being there for me. You helped Kestra and I explore our true feelings and I'll never forget it." She closed her eyes and sighed.

"You both mean a lot to the two of us. I'm sure Xena's talk with Kes was instrumental in her opening up to me." The Regent turned around and before Gabrielle knew it, was gently kissing her.

"Do you know how important you are to me, little Gabrielle? You've let me see the gentle side of life, the easy joy of friendship, just by knowing you."

Gabrielle felt her cheeks flush once more and tried to avoid her friend's eyes.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, Gabrielle. I don't know why, but I feel the courage to tell you how much I've wanted you. You have blossomed into such a radiant woman, full of confidence and grace. If I've offended you, please forgive me." She lifted her friend's chin and waited until Gabrielle was looking her in the eye.

Gabrielle's heart was beating wildly and she took a shuddering breath. She had always been attracted to the Regent, ever since the woman had explained the relationship most of the Amazons had with each other. Gabrielle had never suspected that women could love each other in that way. The people back in Potedeia had openly frowned on such behavior and had driven a few unfortunates out because of it. Having her friend explain that it was neither evil nor unnatural had been very liberating for Gabrielle and she felt an immediate attraction to Ephiny because of it. Kind of like a crush, thought the bard. One she had never really gotten over.

Gabrielle's mind spun in different directions, trying to put into words what she was feeling. She dunked her friend's head under water, rinsing the soap from her hair.

"Um Ephiny, I, ah, well, I've always had a crush on you. Ever since we really started to become friends. I didn't...I never knew you felt the same way." Gabrielle felt like she was going to swallow her own tongue. Her mouth was so dry and she kept having to remind herself to blink.

Ephiny chuckled softly. She hugged the woman to her once then drew back and lay against the stones once again.

"I could see how you felt for Xena. What's more, I could see how Xena looked at you - love and desire all rolled up into one. I may be Regent but I have no intention of giving a particular warrior any excuse to tan my hide. Now that I have Kestra I feel I am no longer a threat to Xena and can express how I feel. Surely Xena is confident in being able to keep you satisfied?"

Gabrielle dunked beneath the water and began to wring her hair out. Her brow was scrunched as she thought of a reply.

"I think both Xena and I are capable of extreme jealousy, Ephiny. We love each other very deeply. There is no one who can bring me to such heights of ecstasy. I've never known such bliss. While I may fantasize about this side of our friendship because I find myself very attracted to you, I would never do anything to jeopardize my bond with Xena. I would never hurt either one of you, intentionally or otherwise." Gabrielle just couldn't make herself look her friend in the eye.

Ephiny rose out of the water, looking very awkward. She grabbed her cloth tunic and ran from the pool. Gabrielle was so surprised that she ended up just sitting there, mouth hanging open.

Xena stepped out from a copse of trees and knelt by her lover. She took Gabrielle's face in her hands and kissed her forehead.

"Gabrielle? It's okay. I'm here and I do understand. I'm sorry, but I overheard everything you said. Please love, look at me." She cupped the bard's chin, the woman's mouth closing with a snap.

"You were - you were spying on me?" she asked quietly. Gabrielle wasn't too sure if she was embarrassed or angry. In the end, she decided to be neither.

"No, not really. I was on my way with the wine skin that Ephiny wanted. I thought maybe I'd join you for a soak when I saw you two kissing. I was, well, surprised, to say the least. Not mad, not disappointed, just surprised."

"Xena, you know I would never betray your love. I'm sorry you had to hear how I felt for Ephiny like this. She was really instrumental in allowing me to open my heart to the thought of two women being able to love one another. Until we talked, I had always tried to deny my feelings, hide them away. I felt so...different, so bad back home. I wasn't sure of what I wanted, just what I didn't want. I didn't want Perdicus, I wanted you. Ephiny opened my eyes about my true nature and I'll always love her for it."

Seeing Gabrielle looking so forlorn nearly broke the warrior's heart. She quickly stripped off her shift and cradled her lover in the water. The two women hugged each other fiercely, speaking words of undying love, pledging to feel that way forever.

"I've seen how Ephiny always watches you, my love. You'll never know how happy I was when you decided to pick me to give your heart to rather than Ephiny. I thought you only had a crush on the woman. You really don't have anything to be ashamed of, my sweet. I want you to feel you can share anything with me. And that means how you feel about Ephiny."

Silent tears slowly ran down Gabrielle's cheeks as she clung to her lover. "I would never hurt you, my love, not for anything in this world!" Xena slowly stroked the bard's damp hair and tipped the woman's chin up. "The only way you could hurt me would be if you ever stopped loving me. I don't think I could go on if that happened."

"Never, my warrior." Gabrielle reached up and captured Xena's lips in her own and they kissed deeply. There was no passion per se, only feelings of total acceptance and love.

Ephiny ran into her hut and threw herself on the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. How could she ever face her friend again. What would Xena think of her? Although Kestra had expressed understanding when she had told her lover how she felt about the bard, would she feel the same way, knowing that Ephiny had wanted to act on it and not keep it merely just a fantasy? How could she have misread her friend's body language? The way she and Xena had hugged her that one morning had lead her to believe they may have feelings of reciprocation.

Kestra came running into the room and gathered the Regent into her arms. She had been over at the dining hall when word had reached her that Ephiny had been seen crying as she ran to their hut.

"What is it, Ephiny? Tell me, please."

The Regent only cried harder, burying her face deeper into the pillow. Kestra slowly rubbed her lover's back, murmuring soft words of love, and finally Ephiny was able to tell her what had happened at the hot spring.

"Do you think she'll tell Xena? Was Gabrielle really upset? I mean, did she look like she wanted to strike you?"

The Regent sniffled and sat up. "No, she wasn't like that. She looked really uncomfortable. I've ruined our friendship! All because of lust. Plain and simple lust! Can you ever forgive me? How will I ever face them again?" She burst into fresh tears and hugged Kestra tightly.

Kestra kissed her lover's face many times, telling her not to worry. They'd work it out. Somehow.

Kestra went and got a cool cloth and a basin and wiped Ephiny's face and neck. She waited until the woman fell into a fitful sleep before leaving their hut. Ignoring the curious eyes of some of the other warriors, she headed towards the visitor's hut, a grim but determined look on her face.

She wrapped once on the door frame and cleared her throat. It was only a matter of seconds before Xena bade her enter. Well, Kestra thought, at least my heart is still in my chest, so she can't be thinking of killing me just yet. Gabrielle sat by the table, wiping her eyes and looking forlornly.

Kestra exchanged her weight from one foot to the other. Besides looking quite embarrassed she also looked rather defiant. Xena decided it would probably be up to her to clear the air.

"Kestra. Look, Gabrielle told me what happened at the springs and, really, there is nothing to feel badly about. Please tell Ephiny that there are no hard feelings. I am pleased that she felt confident in our relationship to tell Gabrielle how she really felt. And yes, I am confident that what we have together will never cease. And I don't feel threatened, okay. We don't have a problem as far as I'm concerned. Okay?"

Gabrielle sniffed and put on a brave smile. "I'm just as much to blame, Kestra. I didn't mean to blurt out my feelings for Ephiny. I guess...I guess we just got carried away. Please tell her how sorry I am. I'd never hurt her, ever."

Xena looked up as Ephiny entered their hut. She burst into tears and ran to hug her friend. Both warriors looked uncomfortable. Finally, Xena grabbed Kestra's arm and they left. Seeing their mates reduced to puddles of tears made both warriors decidedly uncomfortable.

"Hey, you seen Eponin today in your travels?" she asked Kestra. The warrior looked very relieved that the topic of discussion was being changed. The whole thing was starting to really get too awkward. Kestra was just glad that her lover hadn't gone into how she felt about Xena. That would have been a disaster, seeing how Gabrielle had acted already. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"You know, I haven't seen her or Solari since yesterday. Last I saw, both women were sporting fresh wounds from the practice field. Did you know that Eponin tried to get me into a knife throwing contest? Do I look suicidal to you?" The woman shook her head and chuckled.

Xena said nothing and continued to walk towards Solari's hut. She felt badly that it looked like the woman wasn't going to reciprocate any of Ep's feelings. Eponin really did deserved to be happy.

Xena knocked on the door frame and tapped her foot impatiently. Kestra stood away from the hut, arms crossed over her chest. She tried to look bored but was, in fact, a little uncomfortable with the possibility of a confrontation with either Solari or Eponin. So far, this day was turning out to be rather unsettling.

Funny noises were coming from the room. The warrior peeked her head inside and quickly backed out. She had a bit of a grin on her face as she motioned for Kestra to follow her quietly.

Kestra's face silently asked the question. Xena put her arm around the woman's shoulders and they walked away, back towards the visitor's hut. Xena had this goofy look on her face and perhaps a new appreciation for how Eponin had felt the other morning.

Xena put her head close to Kestra's and told the woman what she had seen.

"You're kidding! Really? Well, I'll be a horses ass!" Kestra slapped the warrior princess on the back and the two guffawed loudly, thinking of the look on their mates' face when they heard the news.

As they passed by the healer's hut, Nadri stuck her head out and gave them a dirty look. Damn warriors, she sneered. Just what was going on in this village anyway?! People acting lovey-dovey, using each other for punching bags, crying all over the place! Things sure had changed from when she was a warrior! Bunch of cry babies, she sniffed. She grabbed the next patient by the scruff of her neck and gave her the once over.

"Geez! It’s just a broken arm, for crying out loud! Be an Amazon not a wimp, wouldja!"

A wave of uneasiness flowed over the waiting Amazon's who quickly decided to either set their own bones or stitch each other up rather than face the healer in the mood she was currently in. Life was just too short for that! Besides, any fool could be uncomfortable. No fools waiting around here, nu uh.

The last thing that the departing Amazons heard was a string of expletives coming from the healer's hut.

"Hades, when I was your age we used to practice stitching each other up just for the fun of it! By Hera's tits, woman! Yer leg bones just sticking out, you’re not dying. Get back in here, you! And the rest of ya: quit yer bellyaching or I'll give ya something to really complain about! Why, I remember one time..."

Chapter Nine

Xena and Kestra made their way back to the visitor's hut, head's together as if sharing a ribald joke. Many of the onlooking Amazons had never seen the Warrior Princess look quite so relaxed. While this change was not an unwelcome one, it did make them feel uncomfortable. Who knew the warrior was actually human?

There were many rumours regarding her parentage: some felt she was really the daughter of Ares. Others believed her sire was Hades, Lord of the Underworld. Her strength and prowess were just truly beyond the realm of reality. In any case, they all agreed that she was indeed a goddess, regardless of who her father was.

Gabrielle and Ephiny sat facing each other on the bed. They held hands and sobbed out how sorry they both were about the whole incident.

Ephiny was the most affected by the possible loss of Gabrielle's friendship. The woman had become more than a good friend, more than a sister. What she felt for the bard was more than desire, although, that was certainly there. She felt their souls must be connected somehow.

Gentle hugs and smiles slowly turned into soft kisses and caresses. Gabrielle murmured how much she loved Xena. Ephiny replied in kind. Their kisses began to deepen. Not wanting to scare her friend, the Regent let her take the lead, gratefully surrendering to the woman.

Gabrielle held the Regent's face in her hands and kissed her deeply. She mentally compared these lips to those of Xena's. No comparison really, she thought. She dipped her tongue between Ephiny's lips and was rewarded with the Regent's equally demanding one.

A moan escaped both their lips as Gabrielle lay on top of the quivering Regent. Ephiny slowly brought her hands up to the bard's breasts and kneaded them gently.

Gabrielle began parting her friend's hips so that she lay nestled between them. Her hips began pumping a slow rhythm, eliciting gasps from Ephiny.

Gabrielle broke off her kiss as she felt two pairs of eyes on her. She raised her head and both women took in the sight of their warriors in the doorway, eyes lustfully taking in the sight before them.

Xena moved close to the bed and whispered words of love and acceptance to Gabrielle. She gently stroked the bards back, kissing her neck and shoulders. Gabrielle propped herself up on her arms as Xena reached around and began to untie the laces of her shirt.

Gabrielle quickly divested herself of her clothing and gazed into her warrior's eyes. Xena leaned over and kissed her deeply. Ephiny looked over at Kestra who slowly made her way from the doorway. Her warrior gulped audibly, feeling as if her legs were made of stone.

Seeing her lover cup the bard's breasts once again made Kestra's knees wobbly. Xena slowly threw off her leathers and took Kestra's hands in her own.

"Kestra, it's okay. I think we are all okay with this. Do you want this? If you feel uncomfortable about this, well, you could just watch." Xena looked at the warrior and gave her the well-known lopsided grin.

Kestra's head popped up, her gaze moving from Ephiny's up to Xena's. She shook her head and slowly took the warrior into her arms.

"Gods, how I've wanted this. I..." Her words were cut short as her lips were covered by those of Gabrielle's ardent warrior.

Their kisses came in an earnest barrage as they both tried to disrobe Kestra. Soon they stood breasts to breasts, lips still locked, hands exploring each other.

Kestra was only one hand shorter than Xena and was just as muscular. Their foreplay began to resemble a contest of wills, each knowing a tender touch was not what they wanted or needed right now.

Xena propelled them both against the wall of the hut and used the nearby chair to prop Kestra's right leg up. She placed a well muscled thigh between the warrior's legs and ground into Kestra's pubic bone. Kestra responded by biting Xena's lower lip and roughly massaging the woman's breasts.

Xena's eyes darkened with lust as she looked over at the bed. Ephiny was now as naked as Gabrielle, both women's legs tangled as they rolled passionately on the bed.

Gabrielle suddenly found herself on her back, the Regent covering her breasts with kisses, pulling her nipples gently with her lips. The bard groaned and looked over at Xena. Xena was savagely biting Kestra's neck as she pumped her fingers into the woman. Kestra had her head back, teeth bared, hands tangled in the warriors jet black hair. She began pushing Xena's head farther down her body. Soon Kestra's breasts were being squeezed together in an effort to get both nipples into Xena's hungry mouth.

Gabrielle felt her knees being drawn up as Ephiny slowly parted her nether lips and began to slowly tease her with her tongue. Listening to Kestra's moans of desire was pushing Gabrielle closer and closer to the edge of her orgasm.

Suddenly, Xena wrapped Kestra's legs around her waist and brought them both over to the bed. She dropped the woman onto the bed and pushed open Kestra's legs. As she twisted the woman's nipples, she knelt between her thighs and quickly inserted two fingers into the woman's sopping vagina. Kestra threw her head back and moaned deeply.

"Yes, Xena. Fuck me. Fuck...me."

Xena's eyes never left those of her bard. Each brought a hand towards the other and soon their fingers were entwined. Gabrielle's eyes began to close as Ephiny's efforts picked up in tempo.

Xena felt a hand snake up her leg and massage her buttocks. The warrior locked eyes with the Regent. Ephiny's mouth never left her busy work as she gazed longingly into Xena's eyes. Both women exchanged silent words of the promise of things to come.

Xena felt her arm practically pulled from her shoulder as Gabrielle reached the pinnacle of her orgasm. The bard arched her back off the bed, eyes clenched shut as she grunted out Xena's name.

The warrior princess began to thrust forcefully into Kestra, bending to take the woman's nipples into her mouth. She pulled at them harshly with her lips, taking them between her teeth.

Watching her lover cum for Ephiny was such a turn on that Xena's thighs virtually ran with her juices. Kestra grabbed Xena's shoulders and shouted out loud as she flew over the precipice into her own orgasm. She lay shuddering as both she and Gabrielle held hands, trying to catch their breath.

Xena slowly withdrew her fingers from Kestra and drew the Regent up against her. She placed her wet fingers into Ephiny's mouth. Soon they were both licking Kestra's essence from Xena's hand. Xena drew one of the Regent's legs up and wrapped it around her well muscled stomach. The other leg soon followed as both women dueled each other with thrusting tongues.

Kestra had taken up the Regent's spot between Gabrielle's legs and was gently inserting two fingers into her hot vagina. Xena lay the Regent beside the bard and covered the woman completely with her body. She gently kneaded the woman's breasts as she rocked her hip against Ephiny's center. The Regent tightened her thighs around Xena as she thrust herself forward to meet the hard surface of Xena's thigh. Both women began grunting.

"Oh, yeah. Oh, like that. Yeah." moaned Xena as she watched Kestra's fingers disappear deeply into her lover. Kestra took in Gabrielle's clit and began to lavish it with her tongue. Gabrielle was lost in a world of ecstasy. Her head thrashed back and forth as she searched for Xena with one hand. Xena took the bard's fingers and slowly fucked them in and out of her mouth. Gabrielle opened her eyes and with one look of connection between them, came with a final shudder and lay still. Kestra brought herself up to lie on the woman, slowly pumping the bard's leg between her own thighs. The bard took the woman's breasts into her shaking hands and began sucking the nipples, slowly, tenderly.

Xena snaked both hands between the Regents legs and inserted two middle fingers from each hand, the others laced tightly together. Placing the weight behind her hands, she began rocking back and forth into Ephiny. The Regent tangled her fingers into her own hair as if trying to ground herself. Her eyes looked wild, her mouth open as she breathed in shallow gasps. Kestra yelled once as her second orgasm washed over her.

Knowing Ephiny was close to coming, Xena began murmuring gentle words of encouragement. As Ephiny's muscles began tightening around Xena's fingers, the warrior withdrew one set of fingers, leaned forward and began nibbling the Regent's neck. Xena ground the palm of her hand into Ephiny's clit and she wiggled and pumped her fingers in and out.

As the woman began arching herself off the bed, Xena bit into the soft skin between neck and shoulder. Ephiny's hands flew out in front of her, grasping at something, anything to hold on to. Kestra's body replaced that of Xena's as she held her lover closely until her climax was finally over.The Regent found her face being covered in sweet kisses. She opened her eyes and found herself lost in the grey eyes of her beloved. Their kiss deepened and both lay curled up in each other's arms.

Xena slid slowly up over Gabrielle. The warrior found her face taken between the bard's hands. "I love you. So much, Xena." Xena kissed her gently and rolled her lover over so that she lay in the crook of her shoulder.

The bed was covered with four sweaty, very satiated women, each one having at least one hand interlocked with another's. Deep sighs of satisfaction came from all of them. Words of love and acceptance were exchanged from them all as they snuggled closer and molded to each other's form. It was as if each woman were an intricate piece of a richly shaped puzzle.

As each of the other three women fell into an easy slumber, Xena looked down at her Gabrielle. She kissed her softly and watched as Kestra and Ephiny murmured words of love. Somehow it all just felt right. Xena felt no remorse for letting Gabrielle take them into this love fest. She knew she and the bard shared a love that went beyond the merely physical.

Xena's thoughts began running through the possible implications of what they had all experienced. She felt her bond with Gabrielle deepen. That she had felt comfortable enough to share her need for Ephiny made Xena realize how much trust Gabrielle had placed in her. She had opened her heart to possible ridicule and Xena would not disappoint her.

Xena started to make plans for their future. Now there was a strong bond between the Amazons and their future Queen. Whether Gabrielle wanted to stay at some point and rule this nation was a moot point. Xena would find it hard to stay in one spot but would do so, should Gabrielle desire it.

She decided to make her position in Gabrielle's life more permanent. She kissed her love once again and started to prepare the words of love she would use to propose their joining. Her heart was full of love for this woman. All she wanted for the rest of her life was to awaken each morning in the bard's arms.

She never thought she would be lucky enough to feel this way. To have the woman she loved and desired more than life itself return such feelings was so overpowering to Xena. Her throat spasmed and a small sob was wrenched from her as she realized just what she had in her life. Only one thing remained to be done and as soon as Gabrielle was awake, she intended on rectifying it.

Chapter Ten

Ephiny awoke to light kisses. She slowly opened one eye and peered out, trying to distinguish who was doing what to whom. The room was bathed in soft moon-light, the only sounds being moans from, well, it did sound rather like Xena.

Never having heard the warrior in the state of receiving loving, both Kestra and Ephiny stopped what they were doing and inched closer to the sounds.

Xena lay on her back, legs draped over the side of the bed, with her hands holding the crown of her bard's head.

"Oh, Gabrielle. Yeah, right there. Oh, you are so good at this." Xena purred. She chuckled deeply and began to gyrate her pelvis into her lover's mouth. Gabrielle greedily soaked up every bit of moisture the warrior was putting out.

It was apparent by the sounds that the bard knew just what she was doing. Had, in fact, mapped this area so well that she knew every crook and cranny.

Ephiny and Kestra listened, wrapped in each other's arms, as the bard brought her warrior closer and closer to climax without letting her fully experience it. Xena's moans became frenzied.

"Please, Gabrielle, I need you - now!" She shouted. Gabrielle only slowed the pace of her ministrations and lay her face on the woman's lower belly. She slowly snaked out a hand and grabbed a body. She didn't know which one, and didn't much care. She positioned the person where she was while she came up and straddled Xena's face.

"Xena. I want your mouth on me. I want you to taste every bit of me. I want to cum all over your face. I'm gonna show you just what you do to me - how much you turn me on." Xena reached over and grasped her lovers hips and slowly brought her hot center down to cover her mouth. Just as she was inserting her tongue into the bard, she felt a pair of wet lips surround one of her nipples. It was too dark to tell which one of the others was doing what. She groaned.

Then someone spread the warrior princesses legs and began to tease her opening with first one and then two fingers. Xena found herself unable to control her hips as they lifted off of the bed, her buttock muscles clenched.

And still Gabrielle rocked her center back and forth onto her lover's questing tongue. The bard's movements became frantic and her senses exploded as Xena squeezed her nipples roughly. She fell to the side, hair in her face and kissed Xena deeply. She rolled off and lay beside her, panting, trying to catch her breath once again.

The bed creaked as the bard moved away. Xena couldn't distinguish any forms in the twilight - only shadows. It was such a turn on to have someone doing something so intimate but not knowing who it was.

A mouth replaced the plunging fingers at Xena's center. The mouth lavished full attention on her clit and then its tongue darted here and there, investigating, tasting and consuming every inch, eliciting deep moans from the warrior. Her jaws tightened as she felt both of her arms being held down on the bed. Her shoulders tightened, breasts growing fuller, nipples tauter. So close to the edge, almost there. The tongue was withdrawn. The lips moved away from her breasts. She lay there panting.

"Gabrielle. What..." There was no answer. Only the soft whisper of bodies moving over each other. The warrior heard a funny strapping noise. She raised her head up, trying to locate the source of the noise. The hands holding her arms gripped tighter.

Suddenly, Xena's knees were forced up and her hips were spread. Someone held her ankles close to where her hands were. Then there was a body, slowly inching its way up her torso. She felt two hands grip her face and then Gabrielle. She knew her by her smell, her touch, her breath. Gabrielle kissed her deeply, wantonly. Putting as much passion and love into each kiss as she could manage. Hardly a breath could be had between these soulful kisses.

Gabrielle began drawing back but Xena held on, demanding more of the same. Soon it was the bard who was dizzy and breathless. She knew she'd never get done what she needed to do if she broke down and let Xena take command.

"Love. Let me go. I'm still going to be here. Just busy elsewhere. I need you to let go, love. I want to give you this. Just for you. I love you, Xena."

The warrior felt the lips and mouth return to her sopping apex. Just as she was reaching the pinnacle once again, she felt Gabrielle's body between her legs. Her ass was cupped, cheeks spread and she was entered. Fully. Her shock was complete.

"What the..." she stammered. Gabrielle's mouth descended upon Xena's left breast and began to tease the nipple as her hips slowly pulled away from between the warriors legs. Then Xena was filled again. The hands holding her arms and legs withdrew, leaving her clutching the bed, unable to do anything but hold on.

Slowly, Xena brought her hands up and encircled the bard's waist. She felt the leather belt and knew what was being done to her. It was so exquisite, having her lover take her this way. She wrapped her legs around Gabrielle and bent forward, taking one of the bard's nipples into her hot mouth.

Gabrielle slowly withdrew the wooden phallus until almost completely out, then plunged back in. Xena grunted with every thrust. Her hold on Gabrielle's breasts became painful as she tried to ground herself. A growl began in the back of her throat, increasing in volume as Gabrielle's trusts became frenzied.

"Oh gods, oh Gabrielle! Oh, gods! More, harder, I need..." And with a final scream which was almost primal in its intensity, Xena plunged down deeply into an orgasm that rocked her very soul.

Gabrielle began to withdraw slowly, keeping her body in contact with her lover.

"No. No, Gabrielle. Stay in me. I need to feel you inside me like this."

Gabrielle lay carefully on Xena's chest, kissing her way up to the warrior's lips. "I've wanted you like this for so long, Xena. I don't want you to go looking for something I can't give you. I want to possess all of you, my love."

Xena tipped her bard's chin up and kissed her nose. "I will never, ever, go anywhere looking for love from anyone but you. You are all I want, all I will ever need. I want to tell you..." Gabrielle put a finger to the woman's lips. Xena couldn't see the tears falling but she could feel them as they hit her cheek.

"I was afraid, Xena. I wanted to do this, but...I wanted to make things perfect. Did you...think of Hercules while...while I made love to you?"

Gabrielle found both her hands tightly gripped inside Xena's. "No. Never think that. It was you. Always you. I never loved him. Never. I knew it was you as you penetrated me. Knew it by your smell, touch. Always loved you, my bard." She punctuated each thought with a kiss. Both were soon breathless.

"I need to say something, Gabrielle. Kestra? Ephiny? You are still here, aren't you?"

She heard an answering sniffle. The Regent cleared her throat and replied, "Yes, Xena. We're still here. Gods, that was the most beautiful, touching, erotic, passionate experience I have ever witnessed."

"Well, I need you two again." There was a rustling of bed covers as both women made their way over towards the warrior princess. Both women were up for any request Xena might have for them.

"I want you two to bear witness. I have something to say to Gabrielle and, well, I guess I'm glad it's dark so I don't lose my nerve." She cleared her throat and took Gabrielle's hands to her lips.

"I've never been happier in my whole life. If I had a wish to be granted right now, I think I'd pass. I have everything I've ever wanted. Except for one thing." she paused and gulped audibly. "Gabrielle, I know as future Queen to the Amazon Nation you have the right to choose someone more fitting than me. But...I want you to seriously consider me as your consort. You don't have to say anything right now...just think about it. Please?"

Before she knew it Xena was being engulfed by three pairs of hands, three bodies and three sets of lips. They were all laughing, hugging her, kissing her. Tears began to flow freely.

Kestra and Ephiny hugged the bard as she pushed them off the bed. They left, holding each other closely, unmindful of their nakedness. They ran across the compound to their own hut, giggling like young children.

As it was well past middle of the night, there weren't many who witnessed the dash. However, Nadri, the healer, who had been enjoying the moonlight sipping a cool glass of spring water, did. She grimaced, took one look at the water in her cup and poured it out.

"Yup. Definitely the water. That's it. Hangover or no hangover, I'm drinking wine or ale from now on!" She threw away her wooden cup and went inside, looking for a wine skin.

Gabrielle was full of so much joy. She hugged Xena to her and planted wet kisses all over the warriors face and neck. Each time Gabrielle moved, she noticed Xena winced a bit and her hips moved.

"Uh, Gabrielle. Your either gonna have to get serious with what you're doing or pull out."

Gabrielle looked quizzically at her, touching Xena's face with her finger tips. Then it hit her as the warrior drew one finger into her mouth.

"Oh. Not quite finished were we? I think that could be arranged, Warrior Princess and future Royal Consort of Queen Gabrielle." Try as she might, the bard just could not keep a straight face and broke down in a fit of the giggles.

"Don't you toy with me, Gabrielle. Either use that thing or let me." She seized her lover around the waist but was stopped when Gabrielle's tongue slipped in between her lips.

"Oh yes. Hmm. Just like that." purred the warrior as she began to set the pace.

It was to be a long night. Good thing the leather harness was adjustable, too. There was much discussion as to exactly whose 'play thing' it was. At first, Gabrielle tried very hard not to give out the Regent's name. While at the Warrior Princess' mercy, the bard finally admitted defeat and then enjoyed the most awe inspiring orgasm she'd had in, well, hours any way.

There were no dreams for the two lovers this night. Happy and contented smiles graced their faces as they lay intertwined under a well used if somewhat damp bed sheet.

Note: After years of sobriety, Nadri the Healer gave in and once more succumbed to the power of the grape. Believing the water to be tainted, she drank wine or ale with every meal. Strangely enough, her skills as a healer increased as did that of her stitching. Soon most of the village warriors were sporting what looked remarkably like cross stitching on their wounds. She began giving classes on this and became well renowned for the intricacies of her work. This only went on to reinforce her beliefs that water was only for washing.

THE EPILOGUE

The sun was high in the sky when Xena and Gabrielle awoke. Neither woman had moved a muscle while they slept and so were a bit sore and in need of a work out. A quick visit to the bath house sorted Gabrielle out while Xena felt need of colder water - water to be found in the nearby river.

She sat on a rock, wringing her hair out after washing it. Both knees were brought up under her chin as she gazed wistfully out across the water. Life as she had known it was going to change again. Her life had been one long regrettable episode after another. She ran her fingers through her hair, leaning over and shaking it back and forth in an attempt to dry it quicker.

Her 'chance' meeting with a young woman from Potedeia would forever change her perceptions of how the Fates had a hand in her life. There was no doubt in her mind now that 'they' had interceded on her behalf and had allowed the threads from both lives to intertwine. This did not dilute their strength but solidified it. Without Gabrielle in her life Xena knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would probably be dead by now. Or completely mad with blood lust, carnage and hatred. Letting it all consume her, leaving her with no humanity, nothing but a husk, a reflection of Ares, God of War.

She cringed whenever she thought of just how much Ares had controlled her. What a big part of her life she had allowed him to become. She had promised her bard that she would never let herself backslide into being the monster she was. Part of her wondered just how hard that promise might be to keep.

She began dressing, donning her leathers and armour. The first time she had done so since arriving at the Amazon village. Today was special. She would present herself in front of the Amazonia Council and petition for Gabrielle's hand in marriage. She would have to prove herself worthy, both as a protector to the Queen and as a trusted and worthy addition to the Amazon Nation.

After going through her drills, she limbered up and did some stretching exercises. It felt good to have her sword at her back, the weight of her breast armour sitting comfortably around her chest. Truth be known, she felt rather naked without them.

As she walked back towards the village center, she spied Eponin over by the healer's hut. The warrior was lost in thought, a stern look upon her face.

"Hey, Ep. Haven't seen you for awhile. Did you and Solari, you know, manage to, ah...get together?"

"Don't give me that centaur poop, Xena. I know it was you that was peeking on us yesterday morning. And yeah. We did." The weapon's master leaned back and crossed her feet at the ankles. She drew a contented sigh and closed her eyes.

"So. What're you doing here, Ep. You okay? Feeling alright?"

Eponin opened her eyes and looked rather sheepishly at Xena. She drew her feet in and crossed her arms over her breasts. Slowly standing up, she looked towards the infirmary and motioned Xena to come closer.

"Um, gee, Xena. This is kinda embarrassing. Ya see, Solari, well, she put her back out last night. I guess we were gettin a bit carried away. Saw some friezes up at Aphrodite's temple and she wanted to try some of em. We were doing good 'til we got to the last one. Looked really complicated but Ari wanted to give it a try. I was pretty worn out by then, but, hey, anything for love, right?"

Xena rolled her eyes as Eponin began telling her what had happened. Just as it was getting very explicit, Xena interrupted.

"No, that's okay. Really Ep. I don't need to, or want to..hear any more. Just cut to the chase and tell me how she is. Okay?"

Eponin looked rather disgruntled at this, revelling in the retelling of the story.

"Yeah, gotta stay in bed for a week. By herself. Alone. I can't even go and see her! That Nadri keeps givin her wine instead of water. Won't even let me bring in fresh stuff! Ari don't even know I'm there half the time, she's so out of it. When she sees me, all she does is cry and try to get outta bed. So. I've been banished. What am I gonna do, Xena. I mean, what..am..I..gonna..do..for five more days?"

Xena found it very hard to keep a straight face, deciding a full retreat was in order. She made some flimsy excuse and rushed over to the visitor's hut. She barely made it into the room before she was shaking with silent laughter.

"Oh, gods, no. Not that damned frieze!" She still had flashbacks about fishing every now and again. It had taken weeks to get the smell out of her leathers.

Gabrielle walked in and was brought up to speed on the comings and goings of the two love birds. They both shared a knowing laugh at the antics of the Love Goddess. They just knew 'Dite was probably laughing herself silly. Probably watched the whole thing. In fact, knowing her, she probably put the whole idea into Solari's head in the first place. Xena shook her head at the whole thing.

"Are you ready, Xena? Do you want to eat something before we have to head over to the council hut? I noticed you missed breakfast." The bard paused, sneaking a look at the warrior princess. "You aren't, um, having second thoughts, are you?"

Xena enveloped her in a fierce hug. She kissed her deeply. "Never. I just needed some time alone. Wasn't particularly hungry. No reason, really."

"Xeeena. Come on. I know that look. You may be able to fool others with that stoic I'm-too-cool-to-be-mortal facade. Don't pull that on me. It won't work, you know. Now, spill it, Xena." Gabrielle tapped her foot in the dirt, both hands on hips.

"I really love you, Gabrielle. I'm not having second thoughts, or even first ones, really. I'm just kinda wondering what the other villages will say. You know," she made a face,"Destroyer of Nations, Conqueror of Half of Greece. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I mean, who am I fooling? I'll never be good enough for you, Gabrielle. No one will ever see anything but a monster when they see me. This will look bad for you. Who's gonna take you seriously with a killer by your side?"

Xena looked so dejected that the bard found it hard not to take her right back to the bed and just ravish her for hours. Not good enough! After all Xena had done in the past two years, if all people really saw now was a monster, then to Hades with them!

"What they'll see, my love, is a strong warrior who is fighting on the side of good. Yes, they may still see a killer when they look at you. Why deny what and who you are, Xena? It's part of who you are. It's what makes you fiercely loyal, honest, courageous and unafraid to take risks." She took Xena by the arm and the two of them made their way to the council hut. "Besides, you'll be my killer."

Both Kestra and Ephiny had just finished making their pledge in front of the council, naming the next full moon as their joining date. The hall was filled to overbrimming. Feet were stomping and voices were raised in celebration.

As Xena and Gabrielle entered the hall, all eyes were turned towards them. Xena stood a little taller, glaring at anyone who met her eyes. Gabrielle smiled and nodded her way to the front dias, ever the budding politician. Xena stood back as the bard pressed the flesh. As the warrior got near to the front, the crowd made way for her, some murmuring in resentment.

Gabrielle made an impassioned plea for the right of her warrior to make her pledge. As she talked Xena could see the whole room would be eating out of her hand. It was truly amazing to watch Gabrielle work a room. A few well placed jokes, some at her own expense, reduced the tension in the room by at least half.

Gabrielle locked eyes with her warrior and with some fanfare, introduced her to the crowd.

Xena slowly took center stage, looking magnificent in her full and polished armour. Being an accomplished orator from battles past stood the Warrior Princess in good stead.

After a rather stoic plea as to what she could bring to the Amazon Nation with her acceptance as Gabrielle's betrothed, she suddenly had the whole room in the palm of her hand.

As she bent to one knee, Xena removed her chakram and sword and lay them at the feet of the future Queen.

"I pledge these, my heart, blood and very soul to you, Princess Gabrielle. They are yours to do with as you will." She bowed her head and waited.

Tears formed at the corners of Gabrielle's eyes. She willed them back, took up Xena's weapons and held them aloft.

"I, Gabrielle, Amazon Princess by way of caste, do accept these tokens from Xena, Warrior Princess. I accept them along with her very heart, body and soul."

She passed the weapons to a waiting Amazon guard and drew Xena up to face her. She clasped hands with the warrior and they both turned to face the audience.

Ephiny led the cheering as the bard lifted their joined hands. Xena looked at Gabrielle and without missing a beat, took the woman into her arms and kissed her deeply.

The audience gasped. Not that it was out of order, not protocol, but that the Warrior Princess would so brazenly show her emotions. Watching the love the two women had for each other, the audience was held enthralled. Soon every Amazon within the hall was jumping up and down, cheering wildly. Eponin and a few of the others rushed the dais and shouted congratulations to the soon-to-be-joined couple.

Ephiny and Kestra held each of their hands and soon all four were holding their joined hands above their heads. It was a great and momentous occasion. Not only would their Regent be joined with a skilled warrior but their future Queen would be bringing in new blood, someone who, by sheer reputation, would ensure the safety of their boundaries.

The wine flowed freely and a full scale party broke out. There was much merriment and lively banter.

Eponin felt it her duty to challenge Xena to an arm wrestling contest. Even after losing 10 times in quick succession didn't dampen Eponin's ardour. She just wouldn't give up. Seeing the problem, Gabrielle whispered into the healer's ear for a moment. Nadri arched an eyebrow but nodded her head in acceptance. The bard sauntered over to where the two sat, arms locked in mortal combat. She whispered something into Eponin's ear and stood back as the weapon's master jumped up and took off towards the infirmary. Xena stood up, stretched her arms and legs and glared at any further challengers. 'The look' was all it took. Not from Xena: Warrior Princess, but from Gabrielle: Amazon Queen.

Mentally patting herself on the back, Gabrielle led her warrior away from the festivities. Both looked on in horror as Kestra took on all challengers in a knife throwing contest. Ephiny sat at the head table, head cradled in her arms, oblivious to everything around her. The warrior looked at the bard. Both sighed.

"Amazons", they both said together.

As they made their way back to their hut, they passed the infirmary. Eponin was on bended knee, professing her undying love to Solari. The prostrate woman was beyond caring, an empty wine bag looped over the headboard. Eponin, having herself consumed too much of the grape didn't notice a thing.

The bard snorted and poked Xena in the ribs. Although both knew the weapon's master wouldn't remember a thing in the morning, Xena would make sure every detail would be pointed out to her. Graphically. Repeatedly.

After removing their clothing, the two women lay in each other's arms, enjoying the easy love that enveloped them.

"You know, Gabrielle. This is just the first stage. Who know's what kind of challenges they'll dream up for me to pass before I can be seen as being your worthy consort?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, love. After all, I do have an inside contact. And she's already been privy to some of your many skills. I can't imagine you'll find anything she dreams up a trial, can you?" And with that, they kissed, hugged, snuggled and kissed some more. A tickle fest began and ended just as quickly when there was a request from a certain bard for a further show of the warrior's 'many skills'. Then low chuckles and giggles were heard from the visitor's hut before the night air was filled with the sounds of lovers in love.

It seemed to catch like wild fire. The Regent's hut was next, followed closely by the infirmary.

Nadri shook her head. She knew just how busy she'd be in the morning with knife wounds and broken wrists. Yup, she thought to herself. It's in the water. She helped herself to another cup of ale, muttering to herself the whole way back to her hut. She stopped up short when she recognized one of the senior guards loitering by the front door. With a smile and a new wine bag she hooked her arm in Nadri's and the two disappeared into the hut.

Note: Only the sour reputation of the healer was harmed during this story. Solari's back took less time to heal than previously thought due to the workout it got the night of the pledge. Kestra was sporting some nice cross stitching on her arms from her close encounter with more superior knife throwers. Ephiny had a hangover for days, swearing off wine and ale for at least a seven day period. It didn't last. And as for Xena and Gabrielle, well, they went over, in detail, just how many skills the bard hadn't been shown. The whole village soon became accustomed to their daily operatic feats. Argo grew fat from all the spoiling Kestra laid on her.

It was all sweet while it lasted but they knew it wouldn't be for long. But that, as they say, is another story.

The End

[holy-fate-worse-than-death]

Red has a new chapter!

Chapter 13 is here! That’s right, it’s the Jaydick fluff chapter you’ve all been waiting for! (No? Just me? Okay...)

As always, you can read the whole fic here, but I feel like this chapter can be read as a standalone bit of Jaydick fluff (with some Superbat mentions), so I’ll post it below the cut.

Word count: 3966 because I’m a long-winded bitch who likes describing Dick Grayson’s face a whole lot

Content Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death, mentions of sex, mentions of canon-typical violence

He was waiting until Bruce got back, Jason told himself. But his fingers, tapping impatiently against the steering wheel in front of him, told a different story. Maybe it was this damn car, a silver Porsche 911 that was older than Jason was. It was small, sleek and low to the ground; not the sort of car Jason would usually drive, but he’d picked it from the garage that morning because he remembered that it was the one Dick had taken his first joyride in. It had seemed appropriate, given that he was driving to Blüdhaven and back. The plan that was slowly coming to life in his head, unfurling like blueprints across the Batcave’s conference table, was fuelled by the type of sheer ego that only Bruce Wayne could pull off. Bruce Wayne and all his shiny cars, and even shinier gadgets.

Jason sighed, reaching out and flicking off the radio with a short, frustrated noise. As if the lasts few days hadn’t been enough to wind him up, every radio DJ in Gotham had seemingly forgotten what taste was while he was gone.

He fished his phone out from the centre console and jammed it into the mount on the dash. It connected to the car’s radio automatically. Jason was planning to play some of his own music, but when his fingers touched the phone he found himself calling Dick’s number instead.

I was going to surprise him, he thought as he set the call to speaker.

It took a few rings for Dick to pick up, and Jason found his heart skipping with each one. A knot formed under his diaphragm and it seemed to siphon off some of his air, leaving him not-quite breathless.

“Jay?” Dick asked mildly, a hint of surprise in his voice.

See the thing is, Jason never calls first. He isn’t – has never been – the one to initiate these things. It was always a one-word text from Dick to Jason’s cell; just the word ‘now’ or an address. Jason never replied to them, but he always showed up. But then that night had happened- and god, Jason couldn’t think about it without wanting to scream or cry or something. How had he gone from ramming Dick’s ass once or twice a month to I hate you for making me fall in love with you, all in one night?

“You driving?” Dick asked after a while, when Jason didn’t say anything.

In retrospect, he probably could have at least said ‘hello’. But there was blood rushing in his ears and someone had just cut him off on the highway. He hummed in affirmation, wondering if Dick could even hear him through the speaker.

Dick’s voice dropped lower then, more serious. Jason pictured him sitting down, tensing his shoulders and worrying at the hem of his sleeve like he always did when he was nervous.

“How’s Damian?” he breathed.

Jason smiled then, despite Dick’s sombre tone. Perhaps he should have been worried, but truth be told the kid was bouncing back like a champ. He’d even had the Kent kid over yesterday. They’d squabbled over ice-cream flavours like real kids, and Jason’s chest had been full to bursting. The Kent kid – Jon – had helped Damian feed all his animals, even his cow and the two-dozen battery hens that now roamed Wayne Manor’s hedge maze (and Jesus, Jason would have to ask Dick later how the fuck that had come to be). It had been weird, seeing these two miniature versions of Bruce and Clark chase each other around the Manor, but it had also felt so spine-tinglingly right.

“He looks like his mom when he smiles,” Jason murmured, not realising he’d spoken out loud until the words were already hanging like a warm cloud in the air.

“How well did you know her?” Dick enquired.

Dick was always so inquisitive, so full of questions. For a long time, it had annoyed Jason, pissed him off to the point where he’d yelled at his older counterpart about it a time or two. But these days he’d just resigned himself to it; understood that it was the natural companion for Jason’s (no doubt equally as infuriating) brevity.

As if to hammer that point home, Jason replied with a single word: “Well.”

Dick hmmed at him then, just as Jason turned onto the Blüdhaven off-ramp. Now or never, he thought to himself.

“You at home?” he asked gruffly.

“Yeah,” Dick replied easily, a smile creeping into his voice, “Night off.”

“I’m coming over,” Jason told him, not bothering to phrase it as a question.

Dick’s breath hitched on the other end of the line and Jason chewed on his lip, wondering if he’d pushed his luck too far.

“Okay,” Dick eventually breathed, letting out a long, shaky breath that Jason wasn’t sure he was meant to hear.

Jason smirked to himself, relieved that he could still take the guy’s breath away when he wanted to. Emboldened, he asked, “So… what are you wearing?”

He’d figured the question – which was the sort of thing only straight men in their forties ever asked their dates – would have earned him a laugh from his jovial older counterpart. Instead, silence tore a schism between them, and Jason was left feeling like all the air had been sucked from inside the car.

When Dick finally spoke, he wasn’t even angry, he just sounded sad: “Jay, please don’t make fun of this.”

Jason’s stomach sank so far that he could feel it in his knees. In his mind’s eye he was seeing Clark, in that abandoned hospital on the outskirts of Smallville, flinching at Jason’s joke and trying desperately to hide it. That moment had already broken Jason’s heart, and somehow this one was so much worse.

He wanted to grab Dick’s sweet, scared face in his hands and kiss him until he forgot every stupid thing Jason had ever said; until he could feel Jason’s feelings pulsating between them. He wanted to breathe new life into this tired, terrified boy who’d been the only one brave enough to call this what it was. The one who’d been brave enough to call Jason’s name since the very first night they were together. The one who’d kept letting him in, piece by piece, knowing that the Red Hood would almost certainly break him; run him through and pierce his heart like he’d done to so many men before him. Admittedly, those men had been criminals, not lovers, but sometimes Jason felt like his whole being existed to cater to criminals.

“I’ll be over in fifteen,” Jay croaked, fumbling to hang up the phone before Dick could protest.

He looked at himself in the rear-view mirror; eyes downturned and sad under a grey-white fringe that had been neatly combed to one side. His eyeliner was smoky, and a little too thick, because he’d applied it in the car to avoid having that conversation with Damian. Not that he was ashamed, it just seemed like something that his brother didn’t need to be thinking about right now, especially with the way the Kent kid made him blush. Jeez, he thought, they really are their father’s sons.

Jason had pulled a crisp white tee from Bruce’s closet (all of Jason’s were stained or torn) and paired it with his tightest black jeans, throwing his usual jacket and boots on with it. Somehow the shirt was enough to clean up his whole look, and he was glad; he wanted Dick to know he’d put in a little effort.

For fucking once, Jason thought bitterly, glaring at his own reflection.

Dick’s loft in Blüdhaven was an intimidatingly light and airy place, with none of the Gotham gothic style Jason was used to. Even in the various short-term rentals Jason had lived in over the years (including a few here in Blüdhaven), Jason had maintained the greyscale colour palette of Wayne Manor and The Penthouse. Here, everything was shades of warm brown; wood-panelled walls and unpolished floorboards, with a modest chipboard kitchen and huge windows with lace curtains that danced in the afternoon breeze.

Dick’s clothing was draped over everything; a salmon-pink button-down over the back of the couch alongside a half-inside-out pair of pale blue jeans, a denim jacket hung over the back of one of the breakfast bar’s stools, a pair of discarded boxers on the living room floor. Everything smelled so much like him, and Jason spied some black-and-red Kevlar mesh poking out from between the couch cushions. Jason snorted at the discarded uniform and sauntered towards the bedroom where he’d heard footsteps. Better than a glass case, he thought.

Come in! It’s open! Dick had called at him when he’d knocked, so Jason did.

Jason swung the bedroom door open and dropped his shoulder against the doorframe. It was darker in here, and Jason spied the rubber-backed curtains on the window that blocked out the sunlight. He smirked at them, the contrast between these curtains and the ones in the living room serving as a reminder that Dick was still the antisocial little cave-dweller they all were.

His eyes fell to Dick then, soft hair curtaining his face as he desperately tried to yank on a pair of jeans that were entirely too tight. Jason was familiar with his plight and had to stifle a laugh as Dick desperately tried to force the offending denim over his ass. His back was turned, and Jason could see the way all the muscles in his shoulders tensed as he hopped up and down, fingers hooked through his belt loops.

“Take it easy, D,” Jason chortled.

He pushed off the doorframe as Dick spun around to face him, a half-hearted glare sent in Jason’s direction. Jason figured he probably deserved it, but he ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach.

Instead, he barrelled into Dick, gripping the back of the acrobat’s waistband and yanking his jeans up over his ass easily, inadvertently lifting Dick into the air in the process. Without thinking it through (and gee, there was a surprise) Jason snaked his hands around to the front of Dick’s jeans to do up his fly for him. There was a joke in there somewhere about the irony of Jason helping him put on his jeans instead of taking them off, but Jason left it unsaid.

Dick’s hands had fallen limp to his sides as Jason manhandled him, and now he rolled his eyes.

“Thanks mom,” he said, shoving Jason away playfully so he could bend over and retrieve his socks from the floor.

Dick sat down on the edge of his unmade bed to put them on, and Jason stood over him, grinning like a maniac. He looked good like that, still shirtless and leaning backwards onto the bed, one leg in the air as he tugged a bat-symbol-branded sock over his foot.

“You still wear the matchin’ panties too?” Jason asked, inching just a little closer to Dick as he began to tug on the other sock.

Dick blushed then, and Jason’s smirk got even wider. He’d just seen Dick putting on his pants, so he knew the answer was yes. But it reminded Jason of so many other times – and the first time, where he’d cracked some lame joke about daddy issues and then torn them off with his teeth.

But this wasn’t about sex, and it wasn’t just about Jason distracting himself from the ludicrous plan he was setting in motion in Bruce’s absence, either. This was meant to be about something else, so Jason sank into Dick’s lap, startling his older counterpart, and pressed his lips gently against Dick’s.

Jason had never kissed like this before. Usually when he kissed somebody it was a jaws-clashing, teeth-gnashing, go-until-you’ve-got-spit-on-your-chin affair. And Jason loved that, of course, but this was something else.

Dick’s lips were soft and pliant under his, tentative and quivering just a little. Unlike last time, neither of them was crying now, and Jason had all the time in the world to work Dick’s mouth open and explore it tenderly with his tongue. He wrapped his arms around Dick’s neck like a girl might and pulled back playfully so that Dick had to chase his mouth to continue the kiss – which Dick did eagerly. Their lips made that sound that happened when people kissed in movies and Dick weaved a hand between them and up to Jason’s face, cupping his jaw and rubbing circles on Jason’s cheek with his thumb.

The kiss never deepened, but when they pulled back to rest their foreheads together they were breathing as though it had. Even so, there was a stillness in the room, a comfortable silence that embraced them as they embraced each other.

Jason opened his eyes first, Dick’s relaxed, gently-smiling face coming into focus. Dick’s dark eyelashes dusted his cheekbones, and his lips were red and shiny now, pulled up into the ghost of a smile and still parted slightly. Jason settled properly onto the bed, knees still bracketing Dick’s thighs, and wondered if he could stay like this forever.

The soft afternoon light filtered in through the bedroom door over Jason’s shoulder, casting the perfect shadows over Dick’s face. His jaw was strong and square, his cheekbones high and angular, but set into an exquisitely masculine shape. His nose was wide at the nostrils, the bridge of it sunken back into his face and crooked from at least a half-dozen broken noses. The first hint of a beard peppered his chin and Jason had to resist the urge to nuzzle his own face against it.

Eventually, Dick’s eyes opened and he sighed contentedly, wriggling with lazy pleasure as he wrapped his arms more firmly around Jason’s waist. Jason thought that it was nice to be held like this (though he’d never say it out loud). He was still tense with the knowledge of what was coming next, but for once he felt safe in someone’s embrace.

It reminded him, perhaps perversely, of the first time Bruce had ever held him; sheltering Jason from the storm he’d been weathering on his own for so many years. And it reminded him of how he’d held Damian and Tim over the past few days, though he’d been in Dick’s role during those moments. Is it supposed to feel like this all the time? he wondered.

Dick was staring up into his eyes now, their haziness disappearing as he scrutinised his younger counterpart. Jason knew what he was looking at, and he wondered if Dick – or anyone in the family – had ever seen him with makeup on before. Jason squirmed, somewhat despite himself, but Dick’s lazy little smile never faltered.

“So,” Dick began carefully, “What’s the plan.”

Jason chewed on his lip as he contemplated how best to answer that. Jason hadn’t come here with an explicit plan, but somewhere between the Gotham on-ramp and the Blüdhaven off-ramp, Jason had come to know exactly where he’d take Dick. It had seemed silly at that point, to drive all the way out here to pick up Dick, only to drive right back to Gotham, but somehow it had seemed right. Old fashioned, he thought to himself. But it had seemed like the type of thing that Clark Kent would do, and so Jason had done it.

“There’s this old Italian place down by Amusement Mile,” Jason started, climbing out of Dick’s lap to sit next to him on the bed.

He swivelled his head to face Dick, giving his older counterpart a look that hopefully conveyed his seriousness. Instinctively, Jason reached out and took Dick’s hand in his, giving it a little squeeze. Dick didn’t respond, but he didn’t jerk his hand away either – though he was looking at Jason with a calculated sort of confusion; brows knitting together as his eyes flew across Jason’s features, trying to read him.

“They have the best ossobuco in the city,” Jason continued, swallowing down the ache that came from how much he sounded like his Sicilian mother whenever he said anything more Italian than ‘pizza’.

Jason had never been to this Italian place himself, but a long time ago Dick had told him about it. More specifically, he’d told Jason that it was the last place he’d eaten with his parents before their deaths.

Dick had stopped breathing now, and Jason pre-emptively flinched, ready for Dick to wrench his hand away and throw Jason out of the apartment. Which was why Jason nearly choked when Dick squeezed his hand instead.

“Have you ever been back?” Jason asked softly, knowing that Dick had caught on to his plan now.

“No,” Dick whispered, turning his face away from Jason’s to scrunch his toes in the carpet.

Dick took several long, steadying breaths before he spoke again. Jason waited patiently, never loosening his grip on Dick’s hand. He’d wait for Dick Grayson for as long as it took. Had been waiting, he realised, maybe since before his death.

“Is this a date?” Dick asked after a while, eyes flickering over to Jason briefly before returning to the carpet.

“Yes,” Jason answered firmly, utterly determined not to give Dick any cowardly cop-outs this time – not this time, and never again if he could help it.

Dick’s breathing had gone shallow again, but Jason felt suddenly emboldened to press on. Maybe it was the candour with which Clark had apologised to him back in Smallville that inspired him. After all, when Clark had done it, it had earned more of Jason’s respect than anything else could have. He figured he owed Dick at least that.

“But it’s also an apology,” he said, perhaps not as confidently as Clark would have, though he imagined Clark had had far more practice at this during his time as Superman (and during his time dating Bruce Wayne).

Dick turned to him, like he was about to ask, ‘for what?’ but Jason was already answering him.

“For… everything.”

Dick’s tears this time are gentle and quiet. They roll down his face like rain on a windowpane, and it takes a beat before Jason even spots them. When he does, his eyes begin to prick as well, and he reaches out automatically to cup Dick’s face in his hand and turn the older man towards him. Dick’s eyes are wet and glistening, but the hopelessness that Jason had seen in them that night outside Damian’s room is (mercifully) no longer there.

Licking a tear off his lips, Jason smiled weakly and asked, “How do you do this?”

He was half-asking how Dick could stand to cry so often when Jason usually cried about three times a year on average, and half-asking something else, which he voiced as best as he could:

“It’s like every time you cry, I have to cry too.”

Dick laughed at him then; a wet, sunny little laugh that ended in a sniffle.

“That’s called love,” he said easily, his tone as breezy and incredulous as if he was explaining to an alien what a toaster was.

“Well,” Jason said, wiping his tears away and laying back on the bed with a sigh.

He pillowed one of his arms behind his head, using his free hand (which was still in Dick’s) to tug his older counterpart down with him. Dick complied, rolling onto his side and resting his head on his elbow. From his vantage, he stared down at Jason while Jason stared thoughtfully up at the ceiling.

“There’s a first time for everything,” Jason said after a while, finishing the thought he’d left hanging in the air.

Dick’s tears were gone now, and he’d perked up considerably. The amicability between them was unlike anything either of them had had together since before Jason had died, and if Jason had been asked to describe it, he might have called it freeing.

Dick certainly seemed free, as he asked, “You’ve never been in love before?” as unabashedly as a middle schooler might.

Jason chewed on Dick’s words for a while. The question ought to have made him anxious, but he felt nothing but an honest fascination that mirrored Dick’s. Never really thought about it before, he said to himself, deciding that wouldn’t be a good enough answer to satisfy Dick’s insatiable curiosity.

“Once,” Jason finally settled on, letting the story flow out of him before he was even sure where it was going. “He was hot,” he stated matter-of-factly.

He turned his head to give Dick a gratuitous look that said, ‘he was very hot’.

“And smart,” Jason added, “and sweet, and caring.” Jason scrubbed a hand over his face idly. “He was everything I wanted to be back then.”

Jason let out a puff of air from deep in his tightening chest, turning his head back to the ceiling so that he didn’t have to deal with all the emotions muddying Dick’s perfect face.

“This guy inspired me,” Jason continued, quieter now. “He made me want to be a better person.”

Jason smiled, memories that he hadn’t allowed in since his resurrection flooding his mind. But for once they weren’t flashbacks, they were like a warm breeze blown across his face, and he was heady with the sensation of it.

“This was before I died,” Jason clarified, for once not feeling torn apart by the mention of his own death. “How I felt about him changed everything. It made me who I am.”

Jason’s head lolled to the side, still resting on his arm, and he smiled easily at Dick; a smile that reached his eyes, because Jason felt like he was really looking at him for the first time ever.

“I wanted to be good enough for him,” Jason said. “And in the end, you know, I think I almost was.”

Jason sighed wistfully, and Dick shifted on the bed beside him with what might have been discomfort. He was faintly aware that Dick should be uncomfortable, surprised by Jason’s sudden candour, maybe even a little jealous. But he felt good, for once. His chest was light, and he felt like he could take the weight of the world. Or, at least, the weight of Dick and his brothers.

“Did I mention hot?” Jason asked with a laugh.

There was silence after that for a while, as Dick processed, and Jason continued to revel in old memories.

Memories of soaring through the air, and refitting the Robin suit, and eating McDonalds on the corner of Cornerstone Court and Third Avenue at the end of a patrol. Memories of stupid puns and witty one-liners; of aborted jokes, and stories that always got cut off by the blaring of an ambulance siren or the chatter of a police scanner. Memories of pillow forts in Wayne Manor, and ice-cream sundaes made hastily behind Alfred’s back. Memories of raucous laughter and boyhood. Memories of his childhood best friend.

Memories of Dick Grayson.

“You should tell him,” Dick said firmly after a while.

At some point his hand had slipped out of Jason’s, and now Jason felt the ache of its absence.

“Whatever is between us,” Dick continued slowly, holding Jason’s gaze, “You should tell him that he was loved.”

Jason’s smile unfurled alongside the great python in his chest that had been constricting his heart since that night all those months ago, when he’d caught Dick’s eye across the floor of The Black Cat. His grin was untameable, taking over his whole face until his eyes crinkled and his cheeks were sore.

He rolled up onto his side, pushing Dick down onto the bed so that they were a mirroring their previous positions. He tried to wrangle his smile and hold Dick’s gaze with some amount of seriousness, but he failed outstandingly.

“I think I just did.”

[kinonoranove]

Kino no Tabi (2017) episode 4 review

The Ship Country

I’ll be frank, as someone who have read the original light novel, I found this episode downright disappointing. This episode fell into the trap that rushing adaptations tend to fall into, cutting a lot of meaty parts that only the not very delicious barebone be left. However I did read other discussion threads in other website and find the large portion of new viewers okay with this episode, so I can see that as a standalone story it managed to convey some meaning to the audience.

The core story about the Ship Country is already straightforward enough like all other stories they picked for this season, so I just want to go right into what the anime cut out that make this adaptation not work with me. If you are a new viewer who like the episode just fine, then you could stop reading here if you are tired of adaptation vs original source debate.

To give you a general idea, in the LN normal-lengthed chapter is usually 20~40 pages, longer chapter like Colosseum (adapted in episode 2) is 60~80 pages, and then there are a few behemoth chapters over 100 pages like the Ship Country. With such a length it should take at least 2 episodes to fully adapt “The Ship Country”, but the 2017 anime gave itself a difficult task of cramping the whole story into a single episode. The thing is, I’m fine with anime shortening and modifying the given material to fit into a 20-minute timespan as long as it still managed to tell a coherent story. This episode didn’t give me that impression, as the final scene between Shizu and Ti became very out of left field given the underdeveloped relationship between them due to the anime rushing the buildup.

I have reread the original story in the LN just now, so I will list what the anime have rushed and changed from the novel below:

1) The whole chapter was narrated by the dog Riku. Riku noted early on that Ti looked very foreign among the ship’s residents because the residents tent to have brown or black hair hair, while she had white hair and green eyes. Ti guided Shizu around the ship for 10 days and they have developed some sort of routine and emotional bond during this time. Ti took a liking to Shizu, voluntarily followed him around and found joy in eating Shizu’s bland portable rations. Riku also noticed that none of the ship’s residents want to associate with Ti. Ti didn’t speak at all and she even shook her head when Shizu asked her if she can write, all of this should be because of her complete isolation from the residents, so nobody taught her anything about communication. Despite that, Ti had very good memory and observation when she showed them around the ship and pointed out 143 locations in the map, which impressed Shizu and Riku.

2) Shizu was concerned that the residents look much older than their age as their meals mainly contain seafood and nothing else. It was also reported that the population on the ship highly decreased in recent years. Shizu asked some people worriedly about the ship’s shaking and poor condition, but despite that they said it’s normal and they are completely content with their life. Their denial to Shizu when they tried to go back to the Ship Country at the end also stings more as the Elder pointed out that travellers are wanderers who have lost their homelands who could never understand about the love people have for their own countries.

3) I just really like this piece of dialogue between Kino and Shizu after Kino’s identity was revealed, which showed these two’s clashing viewpoints, so I leave this here:

"In any case, I'm working for the rulers of this land until we reach the western continent in exchange for being allowed to stay here. I don't really want to do this, but I have to live too. Would you please go back?" Kino got straight to the heart of the matter. "I refuse." "You're not a citizen of this country. I don't understand why you're doing something for a stranger's land without even being asked to." Kino declared calmly. It was certainly like her to coldly point out the logic of the situation. Normally, of course, she would be right. A traveller must worry only for his own safety. He has no obligation to concern himself with the matters of other countries or people. To risk his life for them would be insanity. However, Master Shizu's answer was immediate. "It's because I realized something. If I can do something to give all these people a 'future'…" "…" I felt like I could hear Master Shizu tighten his grip on his sword. "I feel like I just have to try, you know?" I could not see Master Shizu's face, but I'm sure he must be laughing from his heart. "I see… Then it can't be helped. I will do my job."

Even after Kino’s identity was revealed, Kino and Shizu’s fight still happened and in the end it was Kino’s victory again. Kino tried to announce the result to the Tower Clan, but because they were deep inside the ship, moving far from their original fighting location, so the Tower Clan didn’t hear Kino, and assumed that Kino lost. Then they decided to not board the land anymore to stop Shizu’s plan, much to Kino’s shock. So Kino had no other choice than to assist Shizu in overthrowing the Tower Clan and driving the ship to land.

4) In the middle of the way to the control room the group stopped by the  weapon storage in the Tower and took some weapons (including grenades) to fight against the ruling class. It was also implied that Ti could have took the knife here for self-defense (as it was specifically said that for a short while Riku didn’t really notice what Ti was doing).

5) Ti stabbing Shizu might have been a shock to readers but thanks to all the buildup in point no.1 & 4 above that it didn’t come out of nowhere like the anime. Shizu might not know about Ti’s situation, but he didn’t even pick up the obvious hints that the ship residents clearly didn’t care for Ti and the fact that Ti stubbornly followed him everywhere because she wanted to follow him and get away from the residents. Furthermore, Hermes revealed that the ship residents regarded Ti like a bad omen or demon because the ruling class used her to spy on the residents. Ti following Shizu at first was also spying, but then she truly took a liking to him, if the scenes when she refused to leave Shizu in bedtime as well as showing him beautiful sea views were any indication. Now with the AI ruling class gone and with the ship residents detesting Ti, Shizu telling her to go back to the Ship of Doom was like a death sentence for her, so she vent out her desperation by stabbing him.

6) When observing the situation unfold, Kino drew out a gun and asked Riku “Which one?” (as in which one should be left to die), meaning if Riku chose to save Shizu, Kino would shoot Ti, and if Riku wanted to spare Ti, Shizu will die. It was pretty clear from the outlook that Riku wanted to save Shizu and Kino was very down to shoot Ti, then Shizu suddenly shouted out “Neither” meaning he didn’t want anyone to die, showing his determination in saving Ti. It was a very emotional scene in the novel.

7) When Shizu collapsed and looking like dying, Ti was even more devastated and took the grenade from Shizu’s body for a double suicide. Finally, Kino shot the grenade away. (Things wouldn’t have been this bad if Ti had spoken up about herself before, but her communication skills were non-existent and her spyche was fucked up due to long-time isolation so Shizu really got involved in a real mess here.)

8) In the aftermath, Kino took care of Shizu for a while and intended to leave while he’s sleeping, but Shizu woke up. They shared another conversation which showed their different purpose and outlook on traveling, which I like so I leave it below:

“Could I just ask you one more thing?" "What is it? "I feel a bit bad for interrogating you like this, after all the help and support you've given me, but… Don't you ever think about settling in one place to live, Kino? Don't you want a safe, secure life where you're surrounded by loved ones, never having to worry about where to rest at night?" "I don't know. At the moment… well, I don't think I'll ever think about it." "That's completely fine with me. After all, it's a motorrad's jay to be able to always be on the move." "'Joy', right?" "Yeah, that." "… Isn't it… painful?" "It's not all fun." "…" "But it's not all pain." "I see. I guess everyone has their own perspective on things." "That's right."

Phew, that was long. If anyone was confused about Ti, I hope the long infodump answer your questions. Some more notes about Kino:

- I’m not thrilled with the anime’s choice of stories. They should have marketed this as a sequel (with a few remade backstory episodes for new viewers) rather than an unrelated reboot to previous anime. Ep 2-4 just have to pick specific stories from different volume (vol.1, 5, 8 respectively) where Kino became proactive, which is not Kino’s norm.

- In the novel, Kino also rarely broke 3-day stay rule got involved in the countries’ matter, unless Kino is requested to use marksmanship skills by the countries and is offered food, shelter and payment for it in order for Kino to cover traveling expense like ep 4, or due to unexpected circumstances like ep 2-3.

All translation credits go to Untuned Strings.

[owlways-and-forever]

A/N: Hello everyone! Hopefully you’re pleasantly surprised to be getting another update so soon, and I’m going to try very hard to keep it going.

*IMPORTANT: You may have noticed that the title of the story has been changed, and that’s because I’ve decided to break this story into pieces, since it’s already pretty long, and I want to avoid having one long, 100+ chapter, 1,000,000 word leviathan that takes 10 years to finish. I will absolutely be continuing the story, I’ve just decided to split it into four different “books”. And even though they’ll all be continuous parts of the larger Better Together ‘verse, they should be pretty much readable as standalone pieces too. So hooray to that! As for this particular “book”, there will 4 more chapters before I conclude and begin the next one. That’s all I’ve got to say right now! Go check out @thosemarauderboys where you can find some awesome edits that @ginnyweasiee has been making for this story!

PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THE NEW BLOG FOR THIS UNIVERSE @thosemarauderboys​​. You can find fancasts of the characters (including OCs) to see what I imagine them looking like, plus fun facts about them, and I’m trying to update with like, images and stuff as well.

Read the previous chapters at the links below, on ff.net, or ao3.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11,Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17, Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22

Chapter 23: Mrs. Norris

November brought with it a steady drop in temperatures, and frequently one could see students huddling together as they ran across the lawn to the Herbology greenhouses. They hardly ever roamed the stone corridors, or studied in the library, everyone preferring the comfort of their common rooms with their warm fireplaces. Everyone, that is, except James Potter and Sirius Black, who were kicking a loosed pebble idly down the corridor on their way back from unsuccessfully trying to visit Remus in the hospital wing. It was the third time he’d been sent there that term, and all three of his friends – Peter would have joined the others if he hadn’t already been sent to detention for doing abysmally on his homework – were getting concerned about him. What was worse was that Remus never seemed to give them a straight answer about why he was there – a stomach bug, he’d said, waving them off vaguely, or else a migraine, he’d answered with a shake of his head – or why they could never see him there. One time, Peter and Sirius – James had been receiving extra Potions lessons from Professor Slughorn – had even tried making themselves sick to get into the hospital wing, but Remus had not been there, and when they asked about him, Madam Pomfrey had said he was in a more private ward. Something was going on that Remus wasn’t telling them, and it was starting to eat at Sirius.

He and James continued to meander down the corridor, not really wanting to return to the Gryffindor Common Room yet. It was getting close to curfew, but that wasn’t likely to bother the two boys very much, so they took more than one detour on the way. As they took a left down the corridor that led to the transfiguration classroom, Mrs. Norris, the aging caretaker’s ugly cat, had the misfortune of crossing their path.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Sirius asked, a gleeful smile on his face as he looked between James and the cat, which had stopped moving, its hair standing on end.

James smiled in return, and without another word, the two of them sprinted towards the cat, who took off with a howl of fury. Both boys pulled their wands out of their pockets and began firing off charms, missing and sending flashes of light flying through the castle. At last, one of James’ charms connected, and Mrs. Norris’ fur turned a bright green. Sirius and James doubled over laughing for a moment before they took off after the cat once more, determined to continue having their fun. Soon enough, they came to a T-junction, and found themselves unsure which way she had run, so decided to split up. Sirius had not gotten far down the corridor before he was forced to try to skid to a halt in order to avoid colliding with Professor McGonagall, who had just stepped out of her office with a stern look on her face. Mrs. Norris was sitting just beyond McGonagall, looking at Sirius with a haughty look, despite her discoloured fur.

“Mr. Black, you will serve detention with me tomorrow evening,” she said without preamble, looking at him over the tops of her glasses. “Seven o’clock, please be prompt. Now, return to the common room before I am forced to give you another detention for being out after curfew.”

Scowling, Sirius turned and walked down the corridor, until he rounded a corner and found James hiding.

“You get a detention?” James asked, his eyes wide with concern.

“Yeah, it’s fine though, totally worth it,” Sirius grinned, not wanting his best friend to feel too guilty. “Come on, I expect Mrs. Norris will tell Filch to be on the look out now, might as well get back to Gryffindor Tower.”

The boys walked back to the common room in silence, an air of defeat hanging between them, and when they got back, they climbed the stairs to the boys’ dormitory, retiring early after their night of failed missions. Remus’ absence hung in the room like an unsolved mystery, the air thick with it, and it kept Sirius tossing in turning in his bed, even after he fell asleep.

By lunchtime the next day, word had spread through the castle about Mrs. Norris’ change in appearance. Professor McGonagall, it seemed, had neglected to return her to her normal color after giving Sirius his detention, and so Mrs. Norris had returned to Filch still bright green in color. Filch had, of course, been furious, and taken her to Professor McGonagall in the morning, demanding that she be returned to her original state. She had obliged, naturally, but not before several students had witnessed the cat’s altered appearance. As Mrs. Norris and Filch were both hated by nearly every single student in the school, it was a highly popular practical joke. Sirius and James puffed their chests out with pride every time they saw someone snickering at Mrs. Norris, and Sirius idly wondered if this would prompt others to have their own fun with her.

Speculation was abound as to who might have been bold enough to do something like that, and while James wanted to claim credit, Sirius said that the mystery would make it last longer, so they said nothing. At dinner, James, Sirius, and Peter were sitting next to Lily Evans, Mirabelle Faulkner, and Rosaline Barrington, who were chatting animatedly about the potential culprit. At least, Mirabelle and Rosaline were, but Lily was sitting there rolling her eyes at them.

“Whoever it is, they’re very immature, I mean really,” Lily said, spearing her roasted carrots with her fork.

“Oh come on, Lily, you have to admit it’s funny,” Rosaline insisted, and Lily’s lips twitched in the direction of a smile. “Ha, I knew it, you think so too.”

“It doesn’t matter how funny it is,” Lily argued, “its against the rules.”

“Yeah, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes here would never do something that’s against the rules,” Mirabelle teased, and the boys fought back the urge to laugh.

“I’m not a goody-two-shoes,” Lily frowned, her eyebrows knitting together, and her fingers toyed with the end of her braid, a sure sign that they had hit a nerve.

Sirius saw Professor McGonagall excuse herself from the staff table, and took that as his cue that it was time to leave. He shoveled one last [large] bite of mashed potatoes into his mouth and pushed back from the table, grabbing his bag and swinging it onto his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Peter asked, clearly confused.

“Detention,” Sirius shrugged.

“What’ve you done now?” Mirabelle sighed, turning to look at him with a roll of her eyes. “You haven’t lost any points for us, have you?”

“None of your business,” Sirius grinned mischievously, “and no, I haven’t.”

He saw Marlene McKinnon smirk where she sat a few people down the table, and Sirius knew that she was aware that he was, at least partly, behind Mrs. Norris’ twitchy behavior around the color green. With a departing wave, Sirius set off for the Transfiguration corridor, arriving in McGonagall’s office about thirty seconds after the clock on her wall struck seven.

“Sit, Mr. Black,” she said, and with a wave of her wand, the chair that usually sat opposite her desk transfigured into a small writing desk.

Sirius sat down as he was told, and waited rather impatiently for instructions while Professor McGonagall finished marking a paper that was in front of her. After what felt like an eternity, but was really only about six minutes, Professor McGonagall looked up at him.

“I would like, Mr. Black, for you to write me an essay, no less than two rolls of parchment, to be completed within the next hour, don’t groan at me, Mr. Black, I know you’ve completed essays in far less time, on why you should not transfigure Mrs. Norris, am I understood?”

“Yes, Professor,” Sirius answered unhappily, pulling parchment and a quill from his bag.

“You are to remain silent during this exercise,” Professor McGonagall added, when Sirius opened his mouth to speak. It was, perhaps, the worst punishment anyone could assign, asking Sirius Black not to say a word for an entire hour.

Sirius set to work, scrawling bullshit paragraph after bullshit paragraph about the dangers of transfiguring animals, particularly when you do not know if they might have an adverse reaction, and about the inappropriateness of transfiguring other people’s pets, and anything else that sprang to mind, none of which he really believed at all. At the end of an hour, he had nearly three rolls of parchment of utter nonsense, his reasons becoming more and more dramatic. When Professor McGonagall looked up at him, he smiled and set his quill down on the table, holding the parchment out to her. She accepted it, but did not give it more than a cursory glance before fixing him with an austere stare.

“Can you tell me why it was wrong to turn Mrs. Norris green?” she asked, arching one eyebrow as she looked down at him.

“Because it should have been Gryffindor red,” Sirius smirked, crossing his arms and tipping his chair back on its hind legs.

“Mr. Black,” Professor McGonagall sighed heavily, adjusting her glasses, “you will serve a second detention with me tomorrow night for your cheek.”

Sirius was sure he heard her mutter “Though I doubt it will achieve anything” under her breath, and he had to try very hard to suppress a smile.

“And you will bring Mr. Potter with you, if you please,” she added, with a final wave of her hand to dismiss him.

Sirius stood and gathered his things, practically skipping out of the classroom and back to the Gryffindor common room, where he was rather pleased to find Remus sitting at a table in the corner with the others, pouring over notes from the classes he had missed.