#so too do the conflicts that keep a romance apart

[cottagecore-raccoon]

It says a lot about the current feeling of uncertainty and lack of safety for queer people at the moment (at least in the states) that so many queer stories hinge of the protagonists feeling the need to flee their familiar world to be together. And their partner having to choose between their home and an uncertain future Elsewhere with their beloved

[heartmaddie]

two slow dancers ! oikawa tooru incl : post-timeskip , fluff , angst (a bit) , exes (tbh this is a bit of word vomit i wrote it at 1am)

their break up was more than amicable.

they were both bigger than what miyagi could offer them. it was no secret that japan didn’t offer tooru the recognition that he deserved, and for her, everything was perfectly laid out in tokyo. that’s where they originally planned to move together in the beginning after all. 

but even so, in the late hours of the night, he still found himself buried in different magazine clippings and articles about life abroad. when push came to shove he decided that he wanted to move to argentina, but he was conflicted, going to argentina meant leaving her behind.

it was a mutual break up, tooru couldn’t risk volleyball and she couldn’t risk university, and they understood that at the end of the day, their future mattered more than their highschool romance. but even so, the pain settled between them deeply, piercing through the love they shared. it hurt too much.

they had completely lost contact two months after tooru moved to argentina. 

but now, almost seven years later, he found himself back in tokyo, walking into a familiar cafe for a blind date that matsukawa had spontaneously set up for him.

the bell jingled as he walked through the oak door, tan arms covered by the thick wool of his red jumper, he wasn't used to the layers anymore.

but of course, he should've expected this, because at that table was not some random girl from his university course, but the woman that tooru hasn't been able to get out of his mind for the past ten years of his life.

it’s almost magical how everything falls into place, but still, a mere comparison to what they were in their teenage years. he’s stunned by how she’s managed to become so eloquent in such a short amount of time, but he’s more so focused on how she had satisfyingly grown into her features.

she was always attractive by conventional standards, but now it was more obvious than ever.

he knows he’s changed too, argentina was good to him. with sunkissed, tan skin and hair slightly golden from the sun, he was something else entirely compared to the lanky boy he once was. he noticed how her gaze would shift from his eyes down to his sharp jawline before concentrating on him properly once again, or how her body language was almost flirtatious as she leant over the table with head propped up on interlocked hands. 

before he knew it, he found himself following her out of the cafe. her arm was wrapped around his bicep as the two walked towards her apartment. their flirtatious banter and intimate touches had come back to them like pen on paper, it was nearly how it was before.

there was a gentle intimacy in how their bodies intertwined on her soft mattress, her head resting on the hard expanse of his chest as thick fingers slid through silky strands of hair. tooru watched as she fell asleep and he couldn’t help but smile softly. 

but in his heart he knew that this was fleeting, their time together was transient. his teeth dug into the bottom of his inner lip as his heart swelled with some sort of achy discomfort, he didn’t want to leave her alone again. instinctively, he shifted her closer, burying his nose into the soft expanse of hair as he soaked in all of her. this would be okay for now, he decided, he’d keep her close until he had to leave again.

please like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed :p © heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.

[kinard-buckley]

in the romcom genre, the pairing gets a happy ending. no exceptions. romances that don't end with happy endings for the main pairing aren't considered romances by genre conventions. so, given that tim and oliver have been calling bucktommy a romcom... what's all this then? this is normally the place in the story where the couple just emerges from their honeymoon period to hit rock bottom. (see: the black moment). the characters hit a hurdle that seems insurmountable and then are forced to work through the issues keeping them apart to find their way back to one another. the third act breakup before the eventually happy ending. so... what's all this then? if i hadn't read the interviews i would've pegged this as the black moment, the temporary hurdle placed in the couple's way before they eventually work past it.

so where do they go from here? if this is actually not meant to last, i do think the breakup is going to leave a sour taste in some people's mouths even if B/T get back together. and they expressed wanting to get buck off the "hamster wheel" so just putting him in another string of not-meant-to-last relationships seems regressive. (i think having buck sleeping around could actually be interesting if handled well, but right now i don't know if i trust this writing staff with that sort of arc.)

also i will be honest and say, to me, it doesn't sound like lou is 100% absolutely not coming back. it feels like the door's been left ajar (which, they'd be dumb to completely slam it shut and cut off a potential avenue of stories just like that but still). and we should keep in mind that most of these journalists are B/E shippers first so there might be a slant baked into their interviews.

i just don't know where this is going now after being told by tim "this is a romcom" (thanks tim, you've broken genre rules if this is a permanent breakup) and that he wanted to get buck off the hamster wheel. i suppose they can pivot to buck taking what he learned into a new relationship but he's already done that after abby, after ali, after taylor, after natalia... it's just boring. if they didn't want buck to settle into being with tommy because they weren't sure how to write SLs for him that's a skill issue. they've written bathena just fine without constant relationship issues. they're happy and settled together but still have conflict that doesn't necessarily have to be relationship-related. they could've easily done that for bucktommy too. (kind of an aside, but it also feels like they don't really know what sort of SLs to give henren and madney.)

after going through the trouble to bring tommy back, set him up to fit in with the 118, stating that tommy being a firefighter/pilot could lead to his inclusion on calls, introduce and hint at backstory that tommy longs for family/belonging, only to never actually deliver on it... why?

[ja3hwa]

♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐀 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐏𝐭.𝟓 | 𝐊.𝐇𝐉 ♡

【Synopsis】 : Fear was clouding both you and Hongjoong's judgement, leading you to question whether Hongjoong actually likes you the way you do him or not. Would a confession fix everything? Or would it cause a rift between the two of you?

『Word count』 :  1.21k

-> Genre: Smut. Angsty but Fluffy. Romance. DBF.

Pairing: Dilf!Hongjoong x Park!Reader 

[Warnings] : Making out. Mentions of sex. Hongjoong can keep his hands to himself. Crying, heartbreak. Fear and insecurities. Lots of sappy cheesy romance novel stuff. Slight miscommunication trope. What can i say, i live to cause chaos. Hehe. Also, I love to point out that i love Seonghwa very much, and any i say about him doesn't mean anything.

Note: I know, I know. You were probably hoping for the first time, hehe. But no, Daddy Joong and Angel needed to have a heart to heart first. Haha. And I wanted the smut to be in one part, and it's gonna be a long one, hehe. Enjoy this for now, my beautiful babies. ♡♡♡

Masterlist | Navigation | Part Four | Buy Me A Ko-Fi

The dinner felt like something out of a romance novel or movie. Everything was perfect, down to the last bite of your dessert. The way the chocolate melted on your tongue and the whipped cream spilled down your throat, dripping down your chin. Hongjoong had to bite back a groan at the way your eyes rolled back in pleasure. You found out that Hongjoong owns the restaurant, which caught you by complete surprise, given he didn’t know the first thing about cooking. He had spoken about how he was originally going to be a bar, but his mother mentioned she would have loved to own a restaurant with opened windows, grand red couches, and welcoming smiles. His dream quickly became something to resemble his mother. He wanted her to know how much he loved her, even when he was being his cold stand-off self. She helped a lot in his life, and he missed her every day.

He parked outside your apartment, and the silence continued. Only the soft pitter-patter of rain hitting the windshield. You didn’t want to get out of the car. You didn’t want the night to end, and as he turned to look at you in the eyes, you knew he didn’t want it to end either. “Why don’t you come up…. Coffee maybe…”

Your heart was racing, feeling all your nerves shaking at you. You needed to push yourself, push him. Show him you could be assertive… mature. He sighed, biting his bottom lip while looking back to the dark wet street in front of the car. He had conflicting feelings like his mind was splitting into two. You felt your heart breaking with each breath, with each silent second. “I don’t think that is a good idea…”

“Why?!” You said that way too quickly than you’d like, knuckles turning white as you clench the fabric of your dress in between your fingers. He just sighed again, making your heart shatter slowly. He raked his hand through his hair, searching for the right words to say without causing a miscommunication or pain.

“If I go up there, then I won't come back down.” His words made you hold a breath. Did he mean that? Was he worried about having sex with you? Be with you? You quickly responded with a simple ‘so’ which probably made you sound like an upset, desperate teenager, but you didn’t care, needing to hear him out. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not yet. Your father is uhh…”

There it was. The cruel reminder of who you were to him. His best friend's daughter. Just some silly little girl that he was fooling around with. You sagged completely into your chair, trying to balance the weight forming on your chest. You felt like you couldn’t breathe like you were suffocating in the small vehicle. No matter how hard you fight or how much he tries to forget, your relationship will be constantly based on what your father thinks. Your father's feelings. Not yours.

 “I see…” You finally spoke. “Well, I’ll see you later than Hongjoong. Tonight was lovely…really lovely.” You got out before he could say another word. But you knew he was calling your name, trying to get you to hear his reasoning. Why he say what he said. The rain that was lightly spitting when you were in the restaurant was now bucketing down. You tried to get to the door of your building as quickly as possible, but a firm grip of your wrist stopped you. You turned to see a soaking Hongjoong, looking desperate and…regretful.

“I want to be with you. Don’t you ever think otherwise.” He yelled over the rain, your eyes growing wide as he put his left hand on your cheek, stroking your wet skin with his thumb. “I suck at voicing my thoughts. Please…please don’t think I don’t want you angel. You are the only thing in my life that makes me want to live again.”

You could feel your throat closing and your heart racing. Tears were falling along with the rain, ruining your make-up. He inched close, letting you feel his breath on your skin. Then you closed the gap, letting him lock his lips against yours. He kissed you more passionately, unlike the lust-filled kisses you’ve shared with him. He kissed you like you were the only person left in the world. He kisses you like he needs it to breathe. He needed you more than he could ever explain. But fuck, if he wasn’t going to try to show you exactly how he feels, with every kiss, every soft touch and every whisper of sweet nothings in your ear. He wasn’t afraid of your father. He wasn’t afraid of what his other friends might think. He was going to shout from the rooftop how much he has fallen in love with you, and he was going to make sure you knew he meant every word.

“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.” You whispered, your tears turning into a sob. Your fingers were tangled in his wet shirt, fearing he’d disappear if you let go. And then he smiled, he laughed. His nose rubbing against yours, he whispered back…

“I’m definitely in love with you, angel. I’ve been in love with you the moment you step out of your car in that fucking perfect little dress.” He groaned kissing you again. He swallowed your giggles as you both felt a euphoric feeling like no other. It was like a switch went off. The last puzzle piece fell into place and nothing else outside your little bubble mattered. His plans to make your first time was about to go out the fucking window….

“If you don’t get back in my car right now, I’ll drag you into it.” His words were dark, tainting on your lips. It was like a drug you’d never get enough of. Quickly, without slipping, you got back into his expensive car, your hand never leaving his thigh as he drove and your lips suckling on his neck. Hongjoong was glad it was almost two in the morning, and no one was on the road. Otherwise, he would've most likely hit someone with how fast he was going. He made it back to his apartment in no time, and without another moment to spear, he dragged you towards the elevator by your hand. Fingers entangled with yours.. he pinned you against the wall in a feverish kiss, holding the back of your neck, guiding your mouth with his. This was not what he wanted your first time to be like. But god, did he need every second of it.

The way his hand crept up your dress, crawling at your hips. Feeling your frilly panties along his fingertips. His tongue raked down your hot skin, suckling a bright red mark on your neck. He was going to litter you with his marks, every part of your beautiful untouched body. Taint it like you were made for him. He was going to fuck you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do. Because you deserved every treatment he gave you.

No matter what your father was going to think. He’d deal with the prick afterwards.

-♡

[delulu-is-the-solulu-843]

Request: you don't know if you're queer or not, but being friends with ellie makes you question that. She let's you experiment on her. Mutual pining & best friends to lovers.

Experimentation

Ellie x fem reader

Summary: After many failed dates and attempts of making a connection you begin to feel like you’re the problem. After listening to your dilemma your best friend Ellie thinks an experiment is in order to test her hypothesis.

Warnings: Friends to more? ,mentions of sex and inability to orgasm, reader thinks she “broken” because she doesn’t feel romantic feelings for men, slight mentions of internalized homophobia and a homophobic upbringing, not proofread, using the scientific method as a way of flirting, Ellie referrers to Abby as “asshole Anderson” (we love Abby but her and Ellie have beef. That beef is not explained in this), men.

You were confused. Well maybe not confused but you were conflicted. See you thought you had yourself figured out. You thought your days of trying to learn what you wanted in life were behind you but recently everything you did brought up more and more questions and never any answers.

Your love life was well complicated is the best way to put it. It wasn’t for lack of trying either, you would go on dates and it wasn’t anything wrong with your suitors (well except for that one guy who was flirting with the waitress the whole time) other than him the guys you’ve been on dated with were all so sweet and charming and you enjoyed talking to them but you just didn’t feel anything, you didn’t feel that oomph that everyone always talked about. And when they walked you home they were very respectful, they’d hold your hand and they’d kiss you outside your door. They never expected anything more. And while you appreciated that, you didn’t even feel anything from the kiss. You never felt the need to keep kissing, you never felt dizzy and weak kneed from the feeling of their lips on yours. Okay maybe you did read a bit too many romance books, maybe your standards were just too high.

On the rare occasion you went out hoping to end the night with an orgasm, that never happened. It wasn’t for lack of trying either, you just couldn’t cum. You noticed you didn’t seem to get all that wet either, maybe you were just one of those women that had a difficult time becoming aroused. There was nothing wrong with that, you just had to put in some extra work. It seemed like nothing worked, you ended up faking orgasms because the last thing you wanted was for him to feel bad.

A guy would eat you out and nothing, he’d finger you and that also brought nothing, he’d fuck you and that would just give you a bunch of internal awkwardness. You weren’t a virgin by any means but you just couldn’t cum.

You were being to think you were broken, no matter what you tried you just didn’t feel that attraction to anyone you’ve dated, you didn’t need sex in a relationship but you couldn’t even connect with someone enough to have a relationship.

You just didn’t know what to do, you were at a standstill so you did the only thing you could think of. You called your best friend. When Ellie answered you asked her to please come over, and like the amazing friend she is she went to your apartment without question.

Now this brings you to where you are now, sitting on the couch just having explained your relationship woes to Ellie. She listened intently as you spoke, she had a hunch but she didn’t know if she should verbalize her theory. She’s seen this in a lot of queer women; not being able to connect with men, not enjoying sex with men, thinking that they’re the issue and not their dating pool. She’s seen it in a few of her friends, hell even that Anderson asshole went through the same thing when she was with that one dick. So Ellie was pretty sure she knew exactly what the answer to your downfalls were.

“Maybe I’m just broken” Ellie heard how defeated your voice sounded and she looked at you.

“What? No. You’re not broken, maybe you’re just looking for love with the wrong people…” Ellie said trying to hint at what she meant without actually saying it hoping you would get what she meant.

You sighed and leaned into to the couch looking up at the ceiling, trying to keep your emotions at bay. “What do you mean wrong people? I’ve gone out with the smart guy, the jock, the bad boy, the quiet guy, that one weird guy who told me our genes will make good offspring, mid date.” You cringed as you remember the last guy, that was the most awkward moment of your life. You have never left a restaurant quicker than you did then.

“Yeesh yeah I remember that” Ellie also cringed as she remembers when you called her on the way home from that date.

“Well I mean maybe men are the problem” Ellie said looking over at you

“Okay so who am I supposed to date then?” You asked Ellie with a chuckle

Ellie fights the urge to either face palm or smack you upside the head. She loves you she really does but sometimes you didn’t have the shared brain cell.

“What I’m try to say is what if you tried dating women?” Ellie says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and later you’ll come to realize that it really was that obvious.

“Oh…oh!” It suddenly clicked, Ellie meant dating a woman…could you actually do that. You’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t cross your mind when you were younger, but with the views of your family and how the world was growing up you just kind of ignored that, threw yourself into obsessing over the latest “it boy” of Hollywood. But you were an adult, you were a grown woman you could date whoever the hell you wanted.

The idea was intriguing and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find some women that you’ve seen attractive, but what if it all just turns out the same.

“Well” you turn to look at Ellie after thinking for a moment “what if it all ends up the same. I go on a date with her and I just don’t feel anything, then I’m wasting hers and my time. What if I really am broken, incapable of love.” You voice your fears as you mess with a piece of fuzz on the couch.

“But what if you have an amazing date and realize that you aren’t broken, because you’re not. Even if you don’t fall in love that doesn’t mean you’re broken, nothing about you could ever be broken. Here I’ll tell you what, I got an idea.” Ellie says moving so that she’s sitting with her legs crossed on the couch and now across from you.

You look at her with a raised eyebrow, Ellie always had a knack for coming up with…interesting plans. The last “plan” she had involved a couple beers, a slip n slide, and Jesse ending up in a cast.

“Don’t give me that look I’m trying to help you here” she said in faux irritation

You raise your hands in surrender “okay whats your plan?” You ask her, wondering what plan she actually had to prove you’re not broken.

“We’re friends right? Best friends? And you trust me right?” Ellie asks and you nod along with her a bit confused.

“Yeah…?”

“Well what if you kiss me and see if it makes you feel any different”

“Kiss you?”

“Yeah, just kiss me. I’m not saying you have to kiss me with tongue I’m just saying a little peck.” Ellie explains nonchalantly as you look at her as if she had three heads.

“Kiss you… on the lips?” You were still trying to make sense of her idea

“No on my ass. Yes of course my lips. Listen if you really don’t want to I won’t force you but I figured maybe we can just test my theory, y’know I’m all about that science stuff. Make a hypothesis and now we have to test it.”

You eye her again before you agree with her. She is your best friend and she right it’s just a little kiss, best friends kiss all the time, at least they do in the movies. Besides it better to test it than to waste time on a date that will go no where and you trust Ellie.

“Okay, you’re right” you tell her nodding

“I’m always right.” She says with a cocky grin

“Just shut up and kiss me” you tell her with an exasperated sigh

Ellie takes note of the way you saying that seemed to make her heart skip a beat but she decided to ignore it. This meant nothing, it was just two friends helping each other.

Ellie leaned in and cupped your face, her warm and calluses hands made the soft skin of your face tingle beneath them. She leaned forward and you could feel her warm breath against your lips. Her green eyes met yours, your eyes flutter shut as she leaned In closer. The first feeling of her lips against yours made your breath hitch. You hesitatingly returned the kiss, still a bit awkward about it but you felt butterflies swarming in your stomach and your heart thumping in your chest. You didn’t feel uncomfortable and awkward like you usually do when being kissed. No, you felt giddy and weightless. You’ve never felt like this before.

Once Ellie pulled away you almost leaned forward to reconnect your lips, but you caught yourself. All you could do was look at her, gazing from her eyes back to her lips. You wanted more. Never have you wanted anything more than to feel her lips on yours again. It was like a switch flipped inside of you, like everything was finally making sense. Every homoerotic thought you’ve ever had that you’ve brushed away was finally coming back to you at full force.

It was never an issue with you, you weren’t broken, everyone who made you think that dating men was your only choice were the ones who were broken.

“Wow” is all you could say

“That good huh?” Ellie asked cocky little smirk back on her face.

You couldn’t speak all you could do was nod. Is this what it felt like? Did it always feel this good? Your stomach was still fluttering with butterflies and you still felt this giddiness that you couldn’t get rid of. As cheesy as it was it felt you were actually living for the first time, everything finally made sense.

“So does this mean I was right?” Ellie asks quite proud of herself.

You decide that you want to feel more of this, you want to feel her lips again, you want a true and proper kiss. You also want to wipe that cocky smirk off her face.

“Hmm I don’t know, don’t you have to conduct an experiment three times in order to confirm a hypothesis? Last time I checked that was only one.” You say with a new found confidence. You knew what you wanted, and you hoped Ellie wanted the same.

The smirk falls from Ellie’s face and she looks at you dumbstruck, she stumbles a bit over her words before she clears her throat.

“You know what you’re right. We need conclusive answers don’t we?” She asks leaning forward once again, smile on her lips.

“Hmm absolutely, don’t want to leave the results inconclusive” you agree as you pull her forward by fisting the front of her shirt. Your lips collide and sigh happily into the kiss. In a moment of bravery you glide your tongue against her bottom lip, Ellie hums into the kiss as she opens her mouth letting you deepen the kiss.

The more the both of you kissed it brought another question to your mind, did it feel like this all the time or did it feel like this because it was Ellie?

A/N: oh hey look I finally wrote something who would’ve thought. I got this request almost a month ago I’m so sorry anon! 🥺😢 please forgive me. It’s a tad bit different than exactly what you requested and I’m sorry for that but I still hope you enjoy it and I hope everyone else enjoys it too. Let me know what y’all think i feed off of attention

And as always love you all! 💖

Dividers are by @cafekitsune

And pics are not mine I got them from Pinterest

[moronkombat]

Hc for Raiden with reader who’s kung Laos sister and they have a secret relationship?

Despite being Kung Lao's sister, Raiden had become romantically attracted to her until he was a young adult. He knew her when they were little but never really grew close to her

It wasn't until much later that Raiden began to feel attracted to her. It when he saw her properly dresses in something light and breezy with her hair down and flowing that he stopped dead in his tracks

Raiden's eyes lit up with her shine and his jaw dropped, he felt he gazing right at the sun and he suddenly feels very shy around her

Kung Lao is a protective older brother and constantly chases off any suitors who try to earn her fancy, however, he never did with Raiden because he never suspected Raiden to try anything

Well, unfortunately for Kung Lao, Raiden was smitten and badly at that. His eyes lingered in her direct and he felt himself warm under the collar when she spoke

He does not act on his feelings but is also very awkward at hiding them. His words stumble over each other, tumbling into a gargled mess while his cheeks flare pink

She would laugh so softly at this and Raiden would feel his entire face being embraced in flames but he didn't mind because her laugh was so pretty to listen to

Kung Lao's sister starts making an appearance in the cabbage fields more frequently, stopping by to give her brother and Raiden water but it soon becomes an excuse to see Raiden more without drawing suspicions from her protective brother

It's not that Kung Lao doesn't want his sister to find love, he is just hellbent on being the one to approve of them and he doesn't approve of anyone that tries to seduce his sister. He often beats them blue and purple to get them to stay away

She doesn't want conflict between Raiden and her brother so she decides to keep her interests in Raiden away from her fierce older

It is she who makes the first move. Raiden was walking her home one night and as he walked her to the door she turned to kiss him, leaving Raiden shocked and blushing

She tells him that he's a good kisser even though he was too stunned to reciprocate her gesture and Raiden just about trips over his words when responding

The interaction is cut short when Kung Lao opens the door and his sister plays it off well with Raiden standing there awestruck and babbling. Kung Lao teases him about having a fever and behind his back she would wink at Raiden knowingly

A secret affair starts after that with Raiden having to hide his feelings and relationship when around Kung Lao who remains completely unaware that his best friend and sister are a couple

There isn't much time for dates, not with so many prying eyes so most of the time spent together is after dark when everyone is asleep. It started with her sneaking out and showing up outside Raiden's window and now it is a nightly event

Raiden and her spend the entire night together, talking dancing and just enjoying each other. It is a very sweet and tender romance between the two of them and they love every single minute of it

Yes, they do not wish to constantly sneak around but they also don't want Kung Lao keeping them apart so they continue to have their moments within the shadows of night

In the day there are many stolen glances and "accidental" ghostly caresses while they long to see each other under a veil of stars. Will they be found out? Will Kung Lao discover his best friend is dating his sister? Only time will tell...

[performativezippers]

When writing romance, what causes the relationships to feel like they lack a 'spark'? like, chemistry? I got these two characters who are opposites, they have a lot of things in common, potential for conflict and/or love, but despite that, it still feels like there's Nothing Fun happening there. They have more chemistry with the villain than with their love interest, and... i have no idea why! XD what could be missing?

ooh this is a great question! I have no idea what's going wrong in your piece specifically (although if you want to send me a page or so of them interacting i'd be happy to look at it and let you know what i see) but in general, here's what comes to mind first.

on-page chemistry is hard to write. it's hard! this is why actors are required to do chemistry reads, right, because if it could be guaranteed on the page, it wouldn't matter if the actors were limp socks. movies and TV shows have so much more to work with: not just actors, but camera angles and cuts, framing them in one shot together, lingering glances, MUSIC, lighting. fiction writers just have...words!

so those words need to try to fill in all of those gaps.

you've said your characters are opposites with a lot in common and potential for conflict or love. my first thought is where is the tension between them? are they attracted to each other? are they in competition with each other? what is keeping them apart and why is it integral to your story? if it's enemies to lovers, why are they enemies and why can't they just make up and get along? if they're friends to lovers, why can't they just start being lovers? if there's an external obstacle, like they'd both be kicked out of the dragon riders for fraternizing, why don't they just do that? and once you have that why, is it infusing every scene they have together? because it should be!

Not that you want every scene between them to be, "Sam, I wish we could kiss but we would be kicked out the dragon riders if we did," "I know Jamie, I do too," that would be repetitive and boring and annoying as fuck for the reader, right, of course. But every romantic interaction could be tinged with regret, with want, with yearning for a different situation. What if when Sam looks at Jamie before a big battle, they see an alternate reality in Jamie's eyes, a world in which everything were different--no war, no riders, no command--just the two of them with a cabin and a woodstove and a warm quilt Jamie's made on their bed, a world in which nothing would come between them, where Sam would never have to see Jamie saddle up to fight in the sky, would never have to wonder if Jamie would ever come home, would never have to wonder what Jamie's lips would feel like against her own?

in that example, there is want (we want to live happily together) but there's tension (we can't be together and also there's war that might kill us) which rubs against the want and creates sparks.

so I'd say think about your piece and your characters, and look at if their desire is sharp enough, and the tension keeping them apart is jagged enough, to rub up against each other and send up sparks that will eventually devour everything in flames.

because you've said they have more chemistry with the villain, i think you're close, because usually villain/hero chemistry comes from exactly this. the hero wants something (win the war for my side, save my dragon and my friend) and the villain wants something else (win the war for the other side), those wants are in direct contradiction (aka in tension), and that tension is taut enough to shoot up sparks. so you can do it! you're already doing it! just try to add that tension and this-is-what-is-keeping-us-apart to everything between the two romantic leads and see where that takes you.

in terms of the writing on the line level, make sure you're giving enough non-dialogue narration for the reader to understand the impact of the dialogue or actions. we've all read "flirting" that falls flat, which is usually because the words are flying back-to-back without any non-dialogue ("narration" or "inner life") to give it weight. i'm known for using lots of body examples (how does it feel in her body, does her heart clench, her teeth grind, her speen rise) but there are a ton of ways to do it! what does it remind her of, how does it feel in emotions, how does it feel in her body, what is she thinking, what is she imagining, what else is she noticing, what does she wish would be happening instead? those are all questions that might get you to some real, raw richness inside your POV narrator. here's a little example I made up:

instead of

"you look great up there," sam flirts as jamie vaults into her saddle. "you too," jamie blushes. "stay safe." "fight strong," sam intones. "see you after."

try adding in depth via narration, like

Jamie vaults into her saddle, and Sam's heart clenches. "You look great up there," she says. It comes out more flirtatious than sad, just what she wanted. She feels so weighed down by her feelings for Jamie, but she wants Jamie to fly unburdened, light and creative and free, the way she fights best. Jamie blushes, and Sam blinks back tears. God, what if this were all different. What if Jamie was safe, what if it were five hundred years ago and the dragons were merely pets and modes of transportation, not war machines. What if she could make Jamie blush out of memory of how they'd spent the morning tangled up together in their furs, instead of this--this bleak, unspoken, never-to-be-consumated, possibly unrequited thing between them. "You too," Jamie says, just as softly. And then, somehow even more tender, "Stay safe." Sam knows there are other rider saddling up around them, that command is always watching. She says what she's supposed to in return, hoping the words have magic to them. "Fight strong," she says, hearing others around the paddock saying the same incantation to each other but not meaning it the way she does. "See you after."

I hope that's helpful! Let me know your thoughts, everyone!

[twig-tea]

Cooking Crush ep 10: This Show Has My Whole Heart

I wrote about some of the things Cooking Crush is doing so well in my response to a recent ask, and so I'm particularly glad that episode 10 came through with a strong flourish to get us set up the last two episodes.

I wanted to call out a few specific things this episode did that are contributing to why it's working so well for me.

First, I want to mention that the reciprocity continues! Previously, we had Prem comforting Ten during a panic attack post adrenaline crash. In this episode, Ten comforts and supports Prem during his worries about Samsee and the competition.

Picking up on something else I've talked about before, this show is committed to its character's arcs. Fire is struggling with his sexuality and his desire to keep their relationship secret last episode led to the conflict between Samsee and Dynamite this episode. Fire showing up to support Dy in public, giving him affection, and using the petname Dy insisted on having is all evidence of Fy's increasing comfort with it. He's already said before he intends to tell his mother, and Dy has been clear he's not rushing him. The way Dy is so careful with Fire but also so receptive to and appreciative of what Fire is able to give warms my heart (pun intended). And Samsee and Prem seeing it and reacting supportively too, because they know what this means to their friend!

[The gifsearch is not cooperating but please enjoy this gifest by @gunsatthaphan.]

I also want to talk about how this conflict with Samsee hits Dynamite hard, and in the context of knowing he's lost relationships with his parents because of his sexuality, to think his relationship with Fire could have lost him a close friend must be bringing back up his feelings about being cut out of the lives of people he loves. However, it speaks to the strength of his bond with Samsee that even though Samsee is furious and not speaking with him, he does not kick Dy out of his apartment. Dy mentions that he didn't see Samsee the night before the competition because Samsee didn't come home (we find out later why, but I loved this subtle nod to the fact that unlike Dy's own parents, Samsee didn't abandon Dy when he made choices that hurt him. I AM IN MY QUEER FOUND FAMILY FEELINGS, FRIENDS).

Along these lines, Ten going to confess to Prem, noticing that these friends are having a moment, and quietly stepping away to give them space is such a good character moment for him, since previously he's been begging to be let in to their shared space even when Prem mentions he's concerned about its impact on his friends and their relationship. Ten's realizing he can't be everything for Prem, and it's better for both of them if he isn't.

That scene of reconciliation, the three friends re-establishing how important they are to one another, that got to me. And that the show prioritized it over the romance! I cannot tell you how much I love that this was an explicit decision the show made, to say 'no, this is not the time for a confession, this friendship reconciliation is more important right now'. And I love that the show gives us a solid, character-grounded reason for why Samsee reacted so strongly to being left out in the first place. We've been told Samsee has changed school majors 3 times, and it's been played as a joke as well as an explanation for why he's an older student. I love that we've now had the consequences of those changes on Samsee's friendships added to his story. Even a "joke" backstory has ramifications for the characters in this show, I am obsessed.

I also want to mention that I am loving what the show is doing with Samsee and Metha, two characters who are the "fuck-ups" of their friend groups, but who are also the most loyal and most supportive of them all. They conflict with one another around what that support looks like, even while they enable one another to continue to be the best friends to their respective besties.

Prem has struggled this entire show to use his words, and in particular he's visibly wrestled with how he can gracefully reject Chef Changma without putting his own career at risk. In this episode he manages to say 'I don't think that [a hug] would be a good idea', and he's ignored. Ten immediately steps in, but I wanted to highlight how big a deal it is for Prem to have said no to this Chef--who he's idolized, who is his mentor, and who is a judge of the competition he's in--in this moment.

When we do get to the confession, Prem continues to lead with action, and Ten continues to push him to use his words. I love so much that Ten never lets him get away with copping out of saying the words, since it's something we know Prem struggles so much with. This speaks to @lurkingshan's earlier post about how Cooking Crush shows us its leads are better thanks to their relationship (in the same way that Fire self-actualizing and being more free to be himself and express affection also speaks to this point).

Beyond character arcs, there's one other thing I am very excited for heading into episode 11 next week, and that's the conflicts in this show converging so brilliantly. So far, the show has set up a few conflicts: Ten's relationship with his father, the cooking competition, the bullies, Fire's relationship with his mother, and Chef Changma's interest in Prem. All of these have now been queued up to expertly converge as a single conflict in ep 11, based on the preview. With Changma's advance and subsequent punch being recorded and distributed (I'm placing bets that this was recorded by one of the bullies, btw), Ten's father once again steps in the way of this relationship that he sees as a detriment to his son. Prem also previously stated that he wanted to enter the competition in order to prove to Ten's dad that he has potential, so these threads were already starting to come together weeks ago. Even if I'm wrong about the bullies having been the ones to record that video, they're sitll in the competition as competitors. And of course Fire has promised Dy he'd come out after the competition, tying the last thread of these conflicts all together around this single event.

And this is what I mean when I say the writing on this show is so good. Because the characters are coherent and consistent and have clear arcs, and the conflicts are grounded in the characters, even though there are several threads, they come together easily and in a way that makes perfect sense and that work with the character arcs rather than against them.

The last thing I'll mention, because it's something I actually brought up as a negative to this show previously, is the use of non-linear storytelling. Cooking Crush has used non-linear storytelling several times, showing us a scene and then flashing back to what happened before that scene in order to fill in the gaps. This can be an effective storytelling tool, but it has to accomplish something in the narrative. The difference between unnecessary and excellently-deployed non-linear storytelling is whether or not there's a good answer to this question: What is the purpose of delaying this information to the audience, and how does that delay affect the audience understanding of what they're seeing? In previous instances, for example the kiss and then flashback to the full date, knowing that Ten and Prem kissed at the end of their date didn't add anything to the viewing experience of watching their date, and having seen their date didn't change my experience of the kiss. This is why I consider it an ineffective use of that technique.

In episode 10, however, we get the cold open that shows Ten joining Prem and Samsee in the competition, and then we flash back. Knowing Ten will be joining Prem and Dynamite in the competition helps to colour what we see about Prem and Dy trying to get Samsee to reconcile with them, as well as Samsee's absence. When we get to Ten stepping in, we have learned it was as much a surprise (and disappointment) to Prem and Dy as it was to us. Ten stepping in doesn't actually work, but it does give Prem the courage to ask if they can compete as a duo, rather than just letting themselves be disqualified without a fight. And we later find out that Samsee was so touched by the letter that he went to his hometown to dig for prawns and that's why he was late for the competition. [I also wanted to mention this because based on @respectthepetty's roundup post it sounds like the cold open was cut for the youtube version]

I lied, I have one more actual last thing, this one is obvious but I can't not say it: THANK YOU to this show for consistently queueing up the typical miscommunication fumbles that get so annoying in every BL (in most romance plots of any sexuality) and then saying NOT TODAY SATAN and having the characters choose vulnerability and honesty and bravery, and talking it out. Every time the show does this (and it's at least 2x per episode, no exaggeration) I feel a little more faith in romance writing restored.

ANWAY, TL;DR Cooking Crush continues making me so happy every week!

[merakiui]

thinking about fwb fics and even though i already wrote one for floyd (omegaverse fwb) i'd like to write one that's more fleshed out (like contractual codependency and tmdg).

azul's fwb was contractual and done out of a need for something (reader needed more resources for keeping ramshackle in good shape and azul wanted a convenient cover so drugging her with love potion would be seamless).

jade's fwb is defined by "you're not him, but you look like him and so it will do." he benefits from it because he gets to spend time with you and he uses your love for floyd to his advantage to get you to do things you'd never do with him.

for floyd's fwb fic i'm thinking,,,, ex-boyfriend floyd who becomes your rebound after your most recent (now ended) relationship with [insert twst character here]. part of me wants to make it jade for sibling rivalry antics, but then i also like the idea of it being someone from the basketball club. maybe you've dated everyone in the basketball club (everyone: jamil, ace, floyd) and you're back to who you began with initially: floyd. maybe you agree casual sex is fine because neither of you have feelings for the other, right? floyd's just in it to have fun and so are you. there's some sort of yandere to be found here... ;;;;; but then i love cheesy and fluffy romances. orz it is my greatest weakness, as is an angst-tinged romance.

i need to write floyd slowly realizing it's not just the horny grip that has him acting so goofy. he's genuinely in love with you and those feelings have stayed with him even after the two of you first broke up. i need him to realize the reason he gets so angry whenever he thinks about you with anyone else is because he's jealous and wants you all to himself; because he loves you and the thought of you being apart from him makes him shrivel with discomfort. i need him to be conflicted about the fwb because by mer standards the two of you would have been a mated pair already (because recurring fwb isn't a very common relationship dynamic in the sea. at least, not in the waters he's from).

i need him to know all of your favorites without faltering because when floyd likes something he commits it to memory and he really likes you. i need jamil and ace to be rooting for him in their own ways and maybe the lot of you can still be healthy friends despite being exes. :D i need azul and jade to scheme and push you closer to floyd so you can be more than his fuck buddy. maybe a little "kiss the eel" mischief in the mostro lounge. >:)

OHHHHHHH. perhaps that's it!!!!! azul's fwb was "no saying i love you." jade's is "don't let floyd find out we're doing this." and so maybe floyd's is all about no kissing because kissing makes it too real (in reader's opinion). the idea of floyd, who is so physical with his affections, having to withhold kisses (on the lips).......... aaaaaaaa he's going to go crazy...

but most of all, i want to write floyd fucking you in mer form because he never got the chance when the two of you were first dating because maybe he was worried he'd do something silly like admit his true feelings (also another thing he never got to tell you when you were dating). :O hmmmm,,,,, floyd wrestling with being "that silly guy who you sleep with every now and then" and actually wanting to be "that silly guy who is your forever and always." yummy!!!!!! he's so in love, but he's struggling to open up with raw, real feelings because he's so used to just being a goofy guy who never shows those sides of himself and he's not used to feeling vulnerable and and and and AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

i will file these ramblings away for potential future fics hehehehe.

[bengiyo]

Love for Love's Sake Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Yesterday, the game started falling apart around Myungha, and it was scary as hell. His latest mission was to get Yeowoon to 100,000 IG followers. After getting help from Sangwon's mom, Yeowoon's stalker came out of hiding and tried to snatch Myungha's phone. Sangwon berated Myungha for his behavior, and Myungha is being more direct with Yeowoon. We left on a pretty effed cliffhanger where Myungha has 24 hours to decide if his grandmother or Yeowoon should die, but I know my boy will defy fate.

In my feelings about my grandmother again. She also gave me advice before the end.

Episode 7: Choices

Yeowoon brought the apricots! 😭

I was wondering how they would use the countdown clock, and I like the choice to knock him down to 15 days. I almost wonder if the game isn't actually falling apart and this is designed for the drama.

That was a little fast, but showing Myungha choosing to abandon happiness in a vacuum but choosing Myungha in a real scenario is excellent. He didn't even hesitate.

Even if he's mostly inviting the friends over because he's worried about Yeowoon, Myungha is so right that you have to work on your friendships too. You can still have couple time later, but you gotta keep your friends involved.

I like that Sangwon and Yeowoon still pick at each other.

You love your blorbo, but do you trust him? Will you be vulnerable with him?

Oooh, I like the pen as a reward for changing anything. It's giving Vlad saying he wants to write the ending.

Yeowoon asking all the right questions, and leading to the heart of it. Happiness is more than a momentary surge of feelings from a nice treat or a kiss. It's grounded in emotional security with those we value.

Now you're making your blorbo cry! Where is Yamada? She needs to come yell at this broody boy, too!

I usually hate these kinds of breakups in romance stories, but I like the way Myungha's cowardice plays into the game mechanics for this one. It's reminding me of Lito in Sense8.

Deleted? What did you write??

I love seeing the world literally fall apart because Myungha can't be emotionally honest with Yeowoon.

Another great cliffhanger.

This has been so excellent. It's so enjoyable having a show with clear character writing and a good understanding of its core conflict. The original trailer really didn't set me up for this, but this has been a very pleasant surprise. I am thriving.

[phillippadgettwrites]

So. Any chance of a Dropped Call 3??

Dropped Call, Chapter 3

Rated X / 4743 words / posted on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

She thinks of it like a little toggle in her brain, like a switch. Or maybe more like a curtain that she can open and close at will. It’s something she developed as a teen, when her desire to remain pure of mind and body was in direct conflict with her desire to imagine what it might be like if Tommy Warner felt her up under her school uniform. Saturday night she’d stay up late discreetly discovering the hidden pleasure points between her legs, and then on Sunday morning she would simply flip the switch and go to Mass, her indiscretion so completely obscured behind her mental curtain that she felt no connection to Father Malone’s sermon on sins of the flesh. 

Over the years, she’s found many uses for this mental trick. In school, in jobs, in relationships, she avoids being overwhelmed by her own emotions by simply setting them aside, behind the curtain, and pretending as though they don’t exist. It doesn’t always work, but she’s found that the more intense the emotion is or the higher the stakes are, the more effectively she can ignore it, at least until she’s alone. In a psychology course at UMD she learned that the term for this strategy is compartmentalization, and that when done to excess it can become maladaptive. Rather than examine whether her own compartmentalization was doing her more harm than good, she stuck that behind the curtain, too. 

This whole bizarre situation with Mulder is taking up an increasingly large amount of space behind the curtain. So much space that she worries it could become uncontainable, that it could all burst through some Tuesday afternoon and ruin everything. She’s had to pull back on their friendship out of fear that the dam won’t hold, and the dichotomy of it all makes her feel like a stranger in her own life. She powers through each workday, counting down the hours until she can go home and stop using all her mental energy to hold the curtain closed. When she walks through her apartment door it hits her like a sneaker wave, and she spends the rest of the evening reading trashy romance novels, masturbating, or deep cleaning something just to keep herself distracted. 

The worst part of it is that it’s just so stupid. She knows that they both want the same thing, knows it with absolute certainty, and yet she’s too cowardly to let it happen. She can cross all kinds of boundaries with a phone line between them, but the second his physical form is proximal to hers, the curtain swings shut and her walls go up, and she truly doesn’t know how to stop it from happening. As it turns out, defense mechanisms aren’t entirely voluntary. 

It’s Friday, a week or so since their last sordid phone call, and Mulder is wearing his charcoal suit. He’s being excessively charming and she can’t stop smiling at him, despite her very best efforts not to. Not that she doesn’t want to smile and laugh with him, she very much does, but when he meets her eye and smiles at her like that, and she feels herself smiling back, the curtain strains against the weight of everything behind it and she begins to panic. 

“What are you up to this weekend?” he asks when she starts to pack up her things a few minutes before five. 

“Not much,” she says, not looking at him. “Grocery shopping. Maybe Mass with my mother.”

“Would it be okay if I gave you a call?”

She freezes. Mulder calls her all the time, near daily, and he’s never asked for permission to do so. The curtain bulges, threatening to split open, and she clears her throat. 

“Sure, that’s fine,” she says, her eyes still downcast. 

“Tonight?” His voice is so hopeful, and it makes her feel like shit. 

“Okay.”

She puts on her coat and slings her bag over her shoulder. Before leaving, she forces herself to look at him. 

“Have a good weekend,” she says with a polite little smile. 

Mulder’s eyes narrow in that way that means he’s psychoanalyzing her, his head tilted increments to the side. 

“Likewise,” he says, his tone unreadable. 

She escapes into the hallway, holding the curtain closed with both hands. 

Once inside her apartment, the weight of anticipation sits heavy in her pelvis and her ears tingle with the effort of listening for the phone. She changes into comfortable clothes and conveniently forgoes panties, barely registering the fact that she’s doing so to give herself easy access. 

He could call at any time. It could be in five minutes, or five hours. When 8:00 pm comes and goes she entertains the idea of just calling him instead, but she doesn’t have any room for that behind the curtain so she decides to wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 

He finally calls at 8:57. 

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he says brightly. “Long time no talk.”

Is he being facetious since they just saw each other a few hours ago, or is he referring to the last time she played the role of Electra?

“It’s good to hear your voice,” she says, then makes a face at herself. Electra is supposed to be sexy, not sweet. 

“Ditto. What are you up to?”

She’s standing in the middle of her living room, piqued and nervous, but that’s probably not what he’s hoping to hear. 

“I’m…talking to you,” she says. “What are you doing?”

“Well,” he says with a sigh, “I have a bit of a conundrum.”

“Oh?” Scully paces slowly around her couch and coffee table. Where is he going to take this?

“I was hoping you could help me out,” he says. 

“Okay. What’s the conundrum?”

“Well, it’s about my partner,” he says. 

Scully sinks slowly down onto the couch. 

“Okay.”

She hears Mulder swallow thickly. 

“So I think,” he begins, “that she might be interested. That she might…share my feelings.”

Scully’s heart leaps and begins to pound against her ears. 

“That’s…that’s good news, right?” she says, reminding herself that she is Electra right now. 

“It is, absolutely. Phenomenal news,” he says emphatically. 

“So what’s the conundrum?”

“I think she’s too afraid to take the next step. I know she is, actually,” he says. She can hear the way the sunflower seeds in his mouth change the shape of his words, and she imagines him spending the hours leading up to this phone call munching on them and thinking about how to have this conversation. “And I think maybe she needs me to be the one to do that. But if I’m wrong, I run the risk of fucking things up between us.”

“That sounds difficult,” she says, her head spinning. 

“So what should I do?” he asks. 

Electra wants to answer the question, but Scully is frantically shoving things back behind the curtain, tugging at the edges in an attempt to keep it all hidden. 

“I think you’re right,” she blurts out, closing her eyes. “I think she does need you to be the one.”

There’s a beat of silence. 

“But should I wait?” he asks. “Maybe she’s not ready.”

“I imagine she’s as ready now as she’ll ever be,” she says, eyes still closed. The curtain is tearing right down the middle, the contents spilling out, and her stomach lurches. 

“Okay,” he says. “Thank you. I appreciate your help.”

Scully sits up, opening her eyes. Was that it?

“No problem.”

“Hey, can I call you right back?” Mulder says, his tone much lighter. 

“Sure, okay.”

Her heart pounds painfully hard in the roughly thirty seconds that she waits for him to call back. Maybe he’s going to call Scully this time. Maybe he’s going to put it all out in the open and force her hand. Even though it’s what she just told him he should do, she’s so terrified that she considers not answering. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, me again, sorry about that,” he says. 

So…she’s still Electra?

“It’s fine,” she says, then waits for him to speak. 

“I was hoping we could try something different,” he says. “Bit of a role reversal.”

“Um, okay,” she says, curious but worried. “What did you have in mind?

“I’ve told you about my fantasies.” A pause. “I’d like to hear about yours.” Her entire nervous system short circuits, and she briefly loses touch with reality. “Electra?”

“Yeah,” she sputters, shifting around on the couch uncomfortably. “I’m here. Is that…allowed?”

Mulder laughs nervously.  

“The arrangement is that I pay you to talk to me. There aren’t really rules beyond that.”

“Oh.” Her mind is going a million miles an hour trying to figure out how to sidestep this. “That’s, um…that’s quite private, though.”

“True. But I’d argue that you’ve been given unfettered access to my private thoughts, so it’s an equal exchange,” he reasons. 

She can tell that he won’t push much further. He knows her too well to do that. But he does have a point, and she still harbors some guilt for not stopping him when he shared his fantasy with her in that first phone call. 

“Yeah, that’s true,” she says. “What do you want to know?”

She senses his excitement, and she’s so conflicted between feeling excited herself and feeling terrified. There will be no coming back from this. The curtain is practically in tatters. 

“I would be ecstatic to hear literally anything you’re willing to share,” he says carefully, tempering his eagerness. 

Scully leafs through her mental file of fantasies, the ones she’s prone to revisit. Her cheeks get hot as she considers the idea of sharing any of them with Mulder, in no small part because he stars in every single one of them. But right now he’s talking to Electra, and Electra would be fantasizing about someone else. She finds an intact corner of the curtain and draws it up, separating herself from the situation. 

“We’re in my kitchen,” she says, jumping right into it. “We’ve just had dinner or something and we’re cleaning up. He’s helping me with the dishes.”

“Who is he?” Mulder interrupts. 

“He’s…a friend.”

“A close friend?”

“Yes. A best friend.” She can’t leave him to wonder if she’s talking about him. That feels too cruel. “A coworker,” she adds. 

“What does he look like?”

Scully lays back on the couch, propping her head on the armrest. She pictures Mulder earlier that day at work in his charcoal suit, smiling at her over his desk. 

“Tall. Dark features. Handsome.”

“You think so?”

She smiles and allows this brief break in their role play. 

“I do. Very much.”

“So you’re in the kitchen,” he prompts her.

“We’re in the kitchen and we’re kind of joking around, laughing. He’s teasing me, but not in an unkind way. And there’s a moment where he’s looking at me and smiling, and something passes between us. Moments like that happen all the time, but I always look away.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m afraid,” she admits. 

“Of what?”

She takes a moment to consider the question. As conflicted as she is when it comes to her relationship with Mulder, she’s never allowed herself to think too deeply about what exactly she’s conflicted about. 

“Of being hurt, I guess. Of being vulnerable.”

“You think he’d hurt you?” he asks, maybe a bit wounded. 

“Not intentionally,” she says. “But I think it could easily happen.”

She senses that he’d like to explore this line of thought, but that would completely derail the fantasy. She hears a beeping sound and then a soft thud. Maybe the microwave. Leave it to Mulder to get hungry at a time like this. 

“I’m sure he’d do everything possible to avoid that,” he says somberly. “So do you look away?”

“No,” she says, jumping back to the kitchen in her mind. “I don’t look away this time, and it becomes…intense. He steps closer and I realize he’s going to kiss me.”

“And you want him to?”

“Yes, very much. He kisses me and it’s sweet at first, but quickly becomes more…intense. Sorry, I can’t think of a different word to use.”

“Intense is a good word,” he says, encouraging her. 

His connection is a bit muffled, like the phone isn’t quite lined up correctly to his mouth. She wonders if he’s in bed, and what he’s doing.

“He picks me up and puts me on the counter, which makes things much easier because he’s quite a bit taller than me. And we just kiss for a while. I guess…I guess more accurately it would be making out.”

“Do you think he’s a good kisser?”

“Yes,” she answers immediately. 

“You’ve given this thought?”

“Yes,” she says again. 

“And then what?”

Scully swallows. This is where things go from PG-13 to explicit. 

“And then he pulls me down off the counter so I’m standing on the floor, and he turns me around.” Mulder is silent on the other end of the line. All she hears is a mechanical hum. “And he, um, he pulls my pants and underwear down. And then he sort of pushes me forward so I’m leaning over the counter.”

Her heart simply cannot take this. It’s been in overdrive so long she’s starting to sweat, and she’s lying completely still on the couch. 

“What does he do?” Mulder finally asks. 

“I think he’s going to…to take me from behind, but he doesn’t,” she says, her voice shaking. “He kneels on the floor behind me.”

“Tell me.” His voice is commanding, not pleading, and it’s effective. 

“He, um, he eats me out from behind. He makes me orgasm that way,” she says. 

She hears the rush of Mulder’s sharp inhale through the phone. 

“Is that where it ends?” he asks. 

She barely registers another set of beeps and another soft thud.

“No,” she continues. “After that he does take me from behind.”

“He fucks you?”

The sharpness of the word, from Mulder’s mouth, in reference to herself, makes her clit jump. Scully slides her free hand under the waist of her pants and swirls her middle finger around it languidly. 

“Yes,” she breathes. “He fucks me.”

“Do you come again?”

“Yes.”

“What about him?”

“He comes inside me.”

“You want him to?”

“I do.”

“Are you touching yourself?” he asks, his voice a near whisper.

“Yes,” she whispers back. 

“Open the door,” he says. 

“What?”

“Open the door.”

Her confusion gives way to horror as she recognizes the soft murmur of his voice in the hallway. She’s frozen in place, her hand down her pants and her widened eyes on her front door. 

“Mulder, what are you doing?” she hisses, pulling her hand out of her pants as she slips down to the floor and attempts to hide behind the couch. 

“Please let me in,” he implores, and she hears his voice in stereo. 

“I can’t,” she whimpers. 

It feels true. She feels physically incapable of walking to the door and allowing him to look at her after what she just told him. 

“Then I’m going to let myself in,” he says. 

He waits a beat to see if she’ll object, but she says nothing. She hears the scrape of his key in the lock and then the pop of the deadbolt. The door opens and she slowly stands up from behind the couch, the phone still pressed to her ear. 

He’s standing in her entryway, his cell phone in one hand and his keys in the other, wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. He catches her eye and holds it for a beat, and she pulls the phone away from her ear, breaking eye contact to end the call. And then she just stands there, shell-shocked, staring at the phone in her hands. 

She hears him slip off his shoes and pad across the room towards her. There’s nowhere for her to hide, physically or emotionally. The curtain is toast, and her fingers are coated in her own arousal, and Mulder is in her living room with full knowledge of what she wishes he would do to her. This is either the best or the worst moment of her adult life. She’s afraid to find out which. 

He takes the phone from her and sets it on the coffee table. Next she feels his hands on her jaw, forcing her to look up at him. She complies reluctantly, and a few seconds tick by as the familiar intensity builds. She sees in his face how much he wants this, wants her, and it reaches that point she can’t bear where she always looks away. Just when she can’t take it any longer, when she’s about to avert her eyes to the fireplace, he kisses her. 

At first it’s sweet. He presses his soft lips against hers again and again, a series of firm but chaste kisses that begin to devolve when she opens her mouth and he runs his tongue across the inside of her upper lip. He’s bent down and she’s on the tips of her toes, and it feels like she just can’t get close enough. 

She squeals with surprise when her feet fly out from beneath her and Mulder tosses her down on the couch, quickly covering her body with his own. Their height difference compensated for, he kisses her deeply and intensely, and he is every bit as skilled at kissing as she imagined him to be. His hips are tucked between her open legs, and the more they kiss the smaller the gap between their bodies grows until she feels the hard ridge of his erection press against her clit. She whimpers into his open mouth, and he pulls back a little to look at her. 

“Do you want this?” he asks breathlessly, and she nods. “You’ll tell me if you want me to stop?” She nods again. 

He shifts his body to the side to free up one of his hands, then resumes kissing her. His hand drifts up under her shirt, and she feels like she could come just from the knowledge that he’s going to touch her, that this is happening. He kneads her breast, gently pinches her nipple, all the while grinding against her hip. It feels so deliciously forbidden, like they’re two teenagers necking in a basement, until his hand slides down her belly and under the waist of her pants. 

He pauses, giving her time to adjust or object. She just keeps kissing him as his fingers comb through her pubic hair and then trace the seam of one leg, and then the other. She remembers his fantasy, and she shifts one of her legs to the side to let him know she’s ready. That she wants it. 

“Jesus christ,” he mumbles against her mouth when his fingers slide down her slick lips. 

His touch, his words, his presence, have her on the edge already. 

“Mulder,” she breathes out. “I—”

He pushes a finger inside her and she gasps as her cunt squeezes it tightly. 

“Oh, Scully,” he says, grinding against her with his face tucked into the crook of her neck. “You need this.”

She can’t stop it. She’s coming with hardly any warning, with hardly any effort on his part, and with such intensity that she stops breathing. Mulder whispers things to her that she will recall later and blush, gently fucking her with his fingers all the while. It is absolute euphoria, and she’s so high on dopamine that she can’t bother feeling embarrassed for being so easy. 

Mulder slips his hand out of her pants and she turns her body so that they are face to face, somehow both wedged onto her tiny couch. She runs her fingers through his hair and then cradles his jaw, and he watches her face with awe. 

“That was unexpected,” she says quietly, and a grin breaks out over his face. “Thanks for coming over,” she adds, averting her eyes to his mouth. 

His smile suddenly falls. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, and she lifts her eyes back to his. 

“I know,” she says, and then she kisses him. 

The kissing goes on for a delightfully long while, and she finds that she very much enjoys the way that Mulder kisses. At the realization that she has the long awaited opportunity to get her hands on the everpresent bulge in his pants, she runs her palm firmly over the front of his jeans, and he groans. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he says, extremely unconvincingly. 

“What if I want to?” she asks. 

She feels him lurch under her palm. 

“Then I’d say we probably need to take this party to the bedroom,” he says tightly. 

They scramble off the couch, and he walks her backwards into her bedroom as he works her shirt off over her head. He removes his shirt as well, and they stand at the foot of her bed, his fingers tucked under the waist of her pants. A lamp in the living room is still on, but the bedroom is dark, giving them enough light to see without feeling exposed. 

“I can’t help but notice that you’re not wearing panties,” he says, and she feels herself blushing. 

“They just get in the way,” she admits shyly, and he makes a little sound that’s somewhere between a whine and a moan. 

“Can I take these off?” he asks, and she nods. 

She feels his eyes on her, but he’s very respectful. He doesn’t stand back to gawk at her or say anything lewd, he just kisses her face, the tops of her shoulders, anything he can reach without sitting down. Before he does so for the sake of getting his mouth on her breasts, she pops the button on his fly and he sucks in a breath. 

“Easy, loaded weapon,” he quips. 

“I’d be a hypocrite to judge you,” she points out. 

“That’s, uh, not quite the same,” he says as she lowers his fly and slips her fingers under his boxers at his hips. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

She pushes his jeans and boxers halfway down his thighs and then wraps her hand around his cock. Her eyebrows shoot up, and that’s before she runs her palm over the length of him. 

“You know that I hate to inflate your ego,” she says, sliding her hand down to cup his balls, “but color me impressed.”

He chuckles and it dissolves into a groan. He sits heavily on the end of the bed, tugging her down with him, and she climbs into his lap. His cock brushes against her clit and she sucks in a shuddering breath. 

“What do you want?” he asks, steadying her with his hands on her naked hips while he works his feet the rest of the way out of his jeans. 

“...I don’t know,” she says, which is a lie. 

“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?” he asks, reading her mind as always. 

She reaches between them and takes hold of his cock. 

“I want this,” she whispers, feeling like she might burst into flames. 

They start kissing again and she’s still stroking him, brushing him over her clit. She pushes up onto her knees a little and drags the head down over her lips and across her opening. She’s obscenely wet and Mulder is making all kinds of greedy, hungry noises: groaning and humming, grabbing at her ass and sucking on her breasts. He’s right there, and they both want this, and when she presses the head of him against her cunt and he starts to sink in, the energy in the room shifts. 

“Oh, shhhhhhhhhhit,” he groans, his breathing suddenly ragged. 

She feels proud, and sexy, and powerful as he stretches her open inch by inch. It hurts a little, but not near enough for her to even consider stopping. They’re both panting like they’ve exerted themselves and they’re only just getting started. 

She lifts her hips again and sinks back down before she’s even managed to take him in all the way; she just can’t wait any longer. He has one hand on her hip, the other braced against the mattress behind him to keep them from toppling over, and his hips are eagerly flexing up to meet her. Each time she lowers herself back down she takes in a bit more of his length, until they are pressed tightly together and she feels the poke of his pubic hair against her swollen lips. 

She stills and immediately he’s kissing her, sucking at her lips and humming noisily. She loves the sounds he’s making and how eager he is, how openly enthusiastic. God, she wants to make him come. Wants to feel him throbbing inside her, running out of her. 

She starts to shift her hips forward and back, slipping him tightly in and out and running his shaft across her clit on each downstroke. 

“Fuck,” he says under his breath. “You feel…incredible.”

His compliment goes straight to her cunt and she flutters around him, making him moan. 

“I’m gonna come,” she whispers shyly against his mouth. 

“Shit, you’re gonna make me come,” he says harshly, like this is bad news. 

But the idea of him coming inside her is enough to send her over the edge. She digs her fingernails into the back of his neck and presses her forehead against his as she clamps down on him, her mouth open and her eyes squeezed shut. 

“Oh my god,” she wails as a tsunami of pleasure crashes over her, sweeping her out to sea. 

Mulder lets loose a stream of obscenities and she feels a hot rush deep in her belly. She rides him roughly as it just keeps coming and coming, and he falls backwards onto the bed, taking her down with him. He keeps thrusting up into her from below, and the wet slosh of both of them is almost embarrassing, had she the faculties for embarrassment. He finally becomes too soft to continue thrusting and there is a second hot rush when he slips out of her. 

She collapses against him, her cheek pressed to his sweat-damp chest, and waits for the inevitable surge of shame and regret, even though she knows it’s not shameful and she certainly doesn’t regret it. Without warning, Mulder wraps his arms around her and rolls her to the side, which does nothing to contain the mess between her legs. He hovers over her, searching her face, knowing her well enough to predict that she’ll struggle in the immediate aftermath. 

“You okay?” he asks, trailing the back of his knuckle across her cheek. 

She gives him a weak smile and nods, though tears are pooling in her eyes. She’s not even sure why. 

“Please don’t take my demeanor as an indication of anything,” she says, touching his waist. “It’s not about you, I just…this is difficult for me.”

“I know,” he says. “Take as much time as you need.”

She nods, waiting for the tightness in her throat to subside before she tries to speak again. 

“I’m sure Electa doesn’t require this much emotional maintenance,” she jokes, swiping a finger under her eye to clear a way a tear before it has a chance to fall. 

Mulder smiles at her and sighs. 

“I haven’t called her in weeks, just so you know,” he says. “And I don’t plan to.”

“You can call whoever you want, Mulder, I have no right to an opinion on it,” she says quickly, panicking at the idea that he feels beholden to her. 

He rests his head on her chest just above her breast and curls up around her, which feels a bit backwards but also feels very nice. She strokes his hair and he splays his hand out over the scar on her belly, and they are quiet for a beat. 

“I’d like you to have a right to an opinion on it,” he says suddenly, quietly, and it takes her a moment to follow. 

“...You would?”

“Doesn’t have to be right away, but yes.”

“Okay,” she says. 

He doesn’t ask what that okay means, which she’s grateful for because she doesn’t really know. And even though she’s not brave enough to ask him to stay over, he seems to know that she wants him to, and he stays. She has absolutely no idea what she’s doing, but she trusts that they’ll figure it out together, like they always do. 

[justthinkinboutbooks]

Elucien and Gwynriel would be way too similar

I was thinking about what the potential conflicts for these couples would be and they have some striking similarities.

First of all, they would be the same as every other SJM couple: fated mates that, for whatever reason, didn't want to be together at first.

That's the biggest thing that draws me to Elriel, the fact that they would be something completely different.

But I digress.

The main conflict for Elucien is already established: they're uncomfy around each other. But I truly don't think that's enough to carry a whole romance. There's not enough feeling, good or bad, between them. So what else could keep them apart?

Elain's trauma. Or the reminder of trauma.

That's one of the first things Elain says to Lucien. "You betrayed us." And while, no, he had no part in the plan that got her and Nesta kidnapped and turned fae, he was an active member of the original plot that directly led to it. He's a contributing party to her worst trauma, the thing that ended her engagement to the man she loved.

Overcoming that would be a big thing. And are those two things together enough to carry a romance? To be fair, yes, I think so. And if Gwynriel (and Elriel) weren't on the table, I may even be for it.

But it is. So let's talk about Gwynriel.

Gwyn and Az have absolutely no external factors that would keep them apart. Like, who would care? No one.

So, what's their conflict.

One facet would be Az himself, his self-worth. But it doesn't matter who he ends up with, that will be a plot point. Considering an Elriel endgame scenario has other conflicts, we have to assume that Azriel's self-worth problems aren't enough to carry a romance.

Also, Gwyn and Az get along perfectly well at this point. They have an amicable trainer/trainee relationship, so how much they like each other wouldn't be a barrier either. So what else could we have based on what we currently know from the books?

Gwyn's trauma.

No, I do not think it should be something that defines her character. But if we have her as our FMC for a Gwynriel story, then it has to be dealt with.

And Azriel is a direct reminder of her trauma. Of course, he had nothing to do with it, but he was there that day. He saw her at her worst moment. And in the BC, when they first meet, they both think about it.

Her trauma that's so bad she lives in the Library and doesn't feel comfortable going further than the training ring. Overcoming her trauma just in general and with the fact that her potential LI reminds her of that would be a massive obstacle.

But it's too similar to Elucien.

And never mind the fact that the things Gwyn uses to heal (training, working in the library, and her friendship with the Valkyries) are the exact same as Nesta's. We've already read that book. We don't need to read it again with the same love story as Elucien.

[the-eeveekins]

I'm going to spin this off into it's own post, hope you don't mind @incoherent-orca

So generally speaking, yes, other Gundam series do handle more complex themes like war and politics much better than G-Witch did. It's one of the reasons a lot of people found G-Witch to be disappointing.

What really sets G-Witch apart from other Gundam is that ultimately it's not about a war or the politics, a critique on capitalism or even the medical side of GUND: It was a Shakespearian romance and family drama, set in a Gundam universe. It really was just The Tempest in space with a side of Utena.

Which is a shame because in those respects, it actually executed it's themes pretty damn well, with it only getting a little rushed towards the end because they tried too hard to include the rest of the traditional Gundam stuff. Based on the interviews, it was never going to be a large scale conflict, it was never going to be a critique on capitalism or delve deeply into the political and business landscape. It was just supposed to be a love story and the tale of the Mercury and Rembran families, a small part of a larger world.

I don't know if it was executive meddling or just the staff getting a little too lost in the sauce. Probably a little of both. But we know they had tons of ideas for stuff they wanted to include in the show that they ultimately had to cut due to time constraints (mostly school stuff or additional duels). And IMO G-Witch's biggest issue was they tried to keep in a little too much of the traditional Gundam stuff (like all of episode 15) that didn't really matter to that main story, and the main story suffered as a result.

Whether or not that works for someone is going to vary. I personally don't care because when I watched the show I never expected it to or really wanted it to go deep into the Earth/Space conflict or any of the deep political themes, I was just all in on Sulemio and the story it was setting up with Prospera and Quiet Zero. But I know for many, because of how well they cooked on the background elements, and let them seep into the foreground sometimes, it was a disappointment that they ultimately never went into depth with it

All that out of the way, I will say that between the very vocal minority of haters and the (IMO) somewhat overblown criticisms of S2 being rushed, a lot of people have lost sight of the fact that G-Witch WAS positively received. Most people I talk to think it was good at least. It's going to vary depending on which community you're in, but it was overall well received and a massive commercial success. People claiming it was devisive or one of the worst Gundam series are usually arguing in bad faith to downplay the success of the show.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

We Are the Series - final thoughts

There are so many reasons that I like watching series & movies from other countries. It's such a great way to broaden my perspective and to get outside of my bubble. To see the big differences in how people live around the world, as well as the little differences in day to day life. To better understand cultural norms, and storytelling norms, and how my own cultural bias intersects with both.

There's also all the beautiful cultural details, getting to see ceremonies and festivals and holidays. To see the beauty of the landscape. To listen to the language, and start picking up little expressions and to appreciate the nuances.

But along with all of the learning opportunities, I also absolutely love it when I watch something from a different culture, and have that "oooh" moment of recognition. That moment when you realize that regardless of culture, what is being depicted on screen is resonating deeply. Because someone halfway around the world has had an experience in common with you.

Let me tell you about my college friends.

It was pure dumb luck that we all met. An utterly random assortment of chance. But somehow this group of awkward nerds all blundered together within the first few weeks of college. Most of us were introverts. We were from all parts of the U.S. We came from all types of families. We were Agnostics, Christians, and Pagans. Over time we would intersect with other groups, we all had different majors, different casual friends & study buddies, people dated, people broke up, but our core group of friends was together all four years.

We didn't like going to parties much, it was too loud and crowded. We got drunk together, where we felt safe and happy. We'd go to the school dances as a group, and be silly. We'd sing songs (usually badly). We'd dance in the rain. We would sit on the roof of our dorms and read stories to each other. We would end up at the local playground at midnight when the slides & swings would belong only to us. As we got older and started being entrusted with keys to academic buildings, we'd go in late and play, having rolling chair races in the long hallways or playing sardines. We'd tease each other, and sometimes laugh so hard we could barely breathe.

We also were there for the breakups and the burnout. For the roommate conflict, and the family hurt. For the coming outs.

Of course things do change when you graduate, and we all dispersed back to separate parts of the U.S. (one of the disadvantages of living in such a huge-ass country). But we still keep up. We still can come together and have fun. Some of us play games together. Some of us travel together. Some of us still talk every single week, because we are family, and that's been the case for over 25 years.

I had a moment, when watching this show, where I realized that P'New must have had some amazing friends in his life. Because he just made a love letter to them.

And the friends in this show - they're my friends. Not in a one-on-one comparison kind of way, but in a "this is my little group of idiots too" kind of way. The playfulness, the freedom from judgement, the encouragement, the support, the love. The knowing that even if life pulls some of them further apart, that the way they are loving each other unconditionally now will always matter.

There are other things I liked about the show, I've talked about tropes before and how I enjoyed P'New playing with them in a "eff off with this old school BS" kind of way, the romances were fun and cute, but ultimately, this show was 100% about love for friendship to me. About what it means to find your people, to make your family, to choose love in all its forms without holding one kind higher than another. And to appreciate it when you have it, because it is so damn special.

How can I possibly come out of this feeling anything but good?

[ollypopwrites]

one of veilguards failings is that we spend so much time caring for our team (which is standard fare for a rpg just like bg3 but this game highlights the found family trope much more explicitly) but then have this huge emotional reveal about our own character that was never touched upon, confronted or hinted at in a way it would in a meaningful relationship (romantic or otherwise)

DA:2 inquisition and other rpgs let your feelings matter (i’m not gonna compare to bg3 too much cuz they are different games but similar genre) — but think about iron bull and his insistence that inky need a space where they aren’t in charge, or cullen taking inky somewhere to get away and offering her a good luck charm to keep her safe — PRAYING FOR HER SAFE RETURN — cassandra despite whatever clashes her and inky had coming together as friends and her saying “oh… that does sound like i’m blaming you” when inky gives pushback

or there is an angry monologue option for inquisitor in trespasser where the advisors all look on in horror as inky finally cracks because nothing stays fucking fixed and they believe they are going to die saving everyone who is trying to tear them and their sacrifice apart

i saw someone on tiktok (if i can find it again ill link it) say that the only way the varric reveal works is if either the writing failed to properly incorporate the character of rook into the equation of the team dynamic or we are supposed to assume that the companions don’t really care enough about rook to make sure theyre okay even with the theme of a leader taking on the brunt of everything for their team. like your leader is talking to someone that is dead and no one goes “hey are you doing okay” they’re going to lead you in a fight against a god. no. 3! 3 gods. you’re not gonna say anything??

i have to agree somewhat that because of the dynamic it feels like rook is running group therapy and is deteriorating in the meantime. even when we choose sad or angry responses no one reacts to us.

as far as i have seen (and i haven’t seen all romances yet, granted) emmerichs romance is the only one where there’s conflict and/or acknowledgment of what rook actually says to any of them that isn’t just about the companion. rook gets upset with him, he gets upset back, but the level of tension varies and rises with the dialogue choices — even if the banter after is the same, the dialogue rook said is acknowledged in the scene itself

other than that varric, and fuck even Solas, are the only ones who check on them. and idk if that’s intentional and if it is what does that mean about the team as individuals who don’t give a fuck about the person bleeding themselves dry to help them and their relationships built around them

i love the characters and the game but at some point i did feel like none of them gave a damn. even if they were the ones who pulled rook out of the fade. where was the rest of it. Where was the proof they gave a fuck,

[esshetic]

APRIL ASTROLOGY : Star Gurlz

Hey hey hey, we have made it to spring, the first quarter of the year. Through the death cycle of wisdom and reincarnation, are we the same? Yes, but a little different also.

For this month, I want us to enjoy the present and not really plan for the future. There is too much going on outside that is beyond our control, so please ignore those quarterly reviews of goals and such. Those goals may have been set during a time when you had limited knowledge of what you wanted, or perhaps they may not be achievable in a year, and you need to spread them out over 3 or 5 years.

Nevertheless, it's not a failure to have not achieved what you set out to do within a specific timeframe. Having a goal and dream is like cosmic mail, a message from the future, giving you breadcrumbs on your path to where you will eventually get to.

The full Moon eclipse has opened up energetic awareness and brought things to light that you needed to pay attention to. This month is asking you to not bury your head in the sand but to keep paying attention to what was revealed. I see a cavalry, a holy cavalry, arriving. The solutions won’t be created by you; they will be received by you.

Life goes on, baby girl!

For the Signs:

Aries: April showers bring May flowers. This month will be emotionally draining. Ease up on yourself and go with the theme and mood of each day. You don’t need to have it all figured out and together in order to move forward.

Taurus: Weather is rain, rain, and more rain. April, for the most part, is in the fire of Aries, which is too harsh for right now. The energy is trying to keep you awake as you have a propensity to fall back to sleep. The energy is still going to be harsh, and it's time to face the music with how you really feel.

Gemini: I, I, I will, I do, I am. April for you is warming you up for your season as the sun is moving from your 11th to embark on your 12th house transit. Whatever comes this month, you got this. Every hit, you counter punch. The more the hits come, the better you get at counter punching. Finally, you feel alive!

Cancer: April will be sweet for you, sweet and steady. The moon, your domain, is at its highest performance of a solar eclipse, and it will be business as usual for you. You don’t scare easily and take everything as it comes.

Leo: In April, you are a star, girl! I don’t know what this means; it just came to me. I see an idea coming together with friends or people you admire. The sun is moving through your 8th and 9th house, and it's about someone coming to you with an idea that will make you feel excited. Dust off that note book of dreams and Ideas, its is in there!

Virgo: April showers for you too. I am seeing some sadness in the romantic department, perhaps someone not meeting your high expectations. If not romance-related, I am also seeing something falling apart that you are trying to keep together. It's already fallen apart, and you have to let the pieces that are missing go. You didn't really need them.

Libra: April will bring you some much-needed relief and guidance from a good spirit. Someone has your back and is in your corner, fighting for you right now. This guidance is coming through as career-related; a promotion or career recognition is coming your way.

Scorpio: April will also be pretty sweet for you, like Cancer. There is peace around you while you wait for your illumination at the end of the month. The worst that could have happened has already happened, and it does not feel as devastating as you thought it would. Now, let's wait and see.

Sagittarius: April will feel confusing for you, with conflicting energies trying to influence you. You don’t know what to think or what to do. It will feel uncomfortable to sit in this confusing energy, so if you can’t ignore it, move your body! Get away from the stress around you.

Capricorn: April is looking like a good month for movement, physically. If you are getting ready to move house, then the one you pick is the one you should move to. Don’t wait; there is not something better. April will also be a joyous month for you and your family.

Aquarius: April will be fine for you. I can see that you are worried about a few things, but it's all going to be okay in the end. I sense a lot of worry coming through about various things going on in your world that has you losing sleep. I just want to let you know that everything is going to be okay.

Pisces: April showers fertilize the ground for the next sowing and future reaping. There is disappointment with things as they are showing right now, but it's for the better in the long run. I see that you are settling for less, what is practical and easy, and not what your heart truly desires. The tears are to break open your heart and reveal your truth to you.