#so the help I can give is very limited
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To all other fundraiser requests in my asks:
I have no idea why but I can't respond to asks anymore, maybe I'm shadowbanned?
As long as this bug/ possible ban is still in effect I will reblog the campaign posts from your blogs directly, I hope this will get resolved soon.
#this sucks! I suspect tumblr to have done some bullshit but I have no proof so#also extremely sorry to say but I have basically no interaction on my posts and no money either#so the help I can give is very limited#alsoalsoIcantevengetmyownlifeinorderimbasicallyahugemistake#you might wanna try with more popular accounts :')#shut up hologram
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"Your heart was in the right place. Don't blame your earnestness and efforts for their lack of understandingāthe right people will appreciate your heart."
EDIT: i mention this in the tags already, but please don't copy my vent tags in your reblogs. thanks for understanding.
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#bright colours#self-insert#my OC Esther#nearly didn't colour this because i was really happy with the lines#but i'm glad i did#please don't copy these tags i'm just going to vent a bit#sigh i've been really feeling it lately#just very discouraged when my efforts to help are dismissed#i know i'm a people pleaser and i just want people to like me#but like#sometimes we just don't click#and it's not worth trying to work myself to the bone to convince people to give me a chance#and it's not fair to blame myself for the friendships that never came to be#they're on their own journey and i'm simply not a part of that journey#just as they are not a part of mine#and that's fine#it's easy to forget when we can connect with so many people online#that we have a limit to how many quality relationships we can realistically maintain#what does it matter if you have so many friends who ālikeā you#but have no one close enough for you to be open and honest with?#so i will save my heart for those who appreciate it#for friends who will celebrate with me as i celebrate their achievements#who i feel comfortable enough with sharing our troubles and sorrows and supporting each other through it#those are the friends who are worth my heart
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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romeo!! or rockā¦.? idk heās the ds guy. yāknow
#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#romeo (ds)#bokumono#trying to make the way i draw romeo distinct from rock#romeo is more dog coded than rock#(dog ball antics)#hence he is softer#(i choose to believe this guy canāt surf even though leona has dialogue saying she wants to watch him surf)#he hangs around in the lobby to greet customers while louis is in the kitchenā¦ itās not laborā¦.#i bet heās just helping so he can hit on everyone who arrives from mineral townā¦#harvest moon#harvest moon ds#story of seasons#hmds cute#harvest moon ds cute#he still goes in the rock collection#hereās hoping for a ds remake that gives the characters more distinctions#romeoās hair is long in the back and his necklace has a slightly different design#those are the only things that i can confidently say arenāt just due to the ds having a limited palette#rock (ds)#also subconsciously shells fanfic snuck into this drawing i think#by durotoswrites. very good fanfic#ānever coloring another fucking sketchbook scribble using the markup tool ever againā turns out to be a bald faced lie#cora just use ibis or something photos app keeps crashing#no#sorry all ds brainrot lately (brain on fire simulator)#brainrocktā¦.#i tried to capture the vacancy behind his eyes. thereās nothing there#iām sorry the saturation on my phone was goofed. iām sorry everyoneās retinas
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maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...
Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."
#My art#Requestober#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#The Captain#You can't tempt me like this I'm too weak to it agh#I am sorely convinced that with a Slightly longer time frame to work on this I would've gone with my first idea#It was way overly-ambitious for a less-than-24-hour time limit but hhghhh I /do/ want to draw everyone in cute costumes!!!#Super doesn't help that I very broke my sleep schedule and like as soon as this came in I fell asleep for three hours lol#And was still tired!!! That's just not fair says I#But I still managed >:3c Because I limited my scope haha but that's important too!! And it still turned out cute!!!#I mean how couldn't it - ZEX as The Little Mermaid is just-#I'm enamoured it's so perfect for him..........what an excellent idea...........definitely not going to be thinking about this for A While#Funnily enough my immediate thought was actually angst haha - the mermaid has to give up her voice! What would ZEX give up?#That he hasn't already anyhow - and then thoughts of reviving Zelnick but selfishly I just hhghgh I love himm I love themmmm#For now the cutes tho!!!!#It tickles me so bad that a significant portion of Damned takes place in October hehe <3 ZEX arrived in November but still!#And then the Halloween event to get their canon outfits back fjdskalfjd ahhh!!!#I'm many many years too late lol but there's something very lovely about the theme continuing ahh <3 <3#Oh yeah and there's also two others in costume here lol - the Captain's was easy haha <3 Dashing prince! He suits it āŖ#For DAX lol at first I considered Triton? But he's not quite That bad about ZEX's human infatuation#Not that he's as admissive or manipulative as Ursula either - at some point it might've just become ''I want to see him in it'' lol#He's so happy about it haha <3#Can you tell I had fun with ZEX's costume lol - sparklies!!! Had fun with the glitter on his shoes :D#I Will find a place to use my scale brush anywhere and everywhere and that's a threat#I wonder what ZEX would think of human animation haha - I only remember there being one movie night at the Institute!#Surely Disney would get the greenlight to be played in the Sun Room! ZEX having a transcendent ''seen'' experience aw <3
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"As for the government of the kingdom, [Edward V] had complete confidence in the peers of realm and the queen."
"According to the Crowland continuator, [Elizabeth Woodville] seems to have taken the king's place in listening to his council immediately after Edward IV's death. It does appear that she expected to have some role in her son's kingship, and the Crowland continuatorās report of the letters sent to her by [Richard of Gloucester] indicates that she had good reason to expect to be able to work with him and the other councillors: 'the duke of Gloucester wrote the most pleasant letters to console the queen; he promised to come and offer submission, fealty and all that was due from him to his lord and king, Edward V, the first-born son of his brother the dead king and the queen'."
"[However], in what was Gloucester's first coup, Edward V was separated from his household and Woodville advisors. When the young king questioned the move, Buckingham was reported to have told the boy 'It is not in the business of women but men to govern kingdoms'. The blunt remark referred to the authority of Elizabeth Woodville as queen and the power she must have anticipated within the new political climate left by Edward IV's sudden death [...] While the veracity of this scene is questionable*, the words attributed to the duke no doubt seemed plausible to Dominic Mancini who believed they exemplified the popular sentiment held by men [...]."
-Dominic Mancini, The Usurpation of Richard the Third / J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Alexander R. Brondarbit, Power Brokers and the Yorkist State, 1461-1485
*One of Mancini's key sources seems to have been Edward V's own doctor, John Argentine, who attended to him in the Tower. It's very likely that he was the one who recounted this scene to Mancini, which suggests that it should probably be considered more credible than not.
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#wars of the roses#15th century#english history#my post#Croyland wrote that 'The counsellors of the king - now deceased - were present with the queen' so yes#He clearly seemed to view Elizabeth as taking on Edward's role after his death#Which is striking since her son - the new King - hadn't even arrived in London yet let alone be crowned#It's also interesting that Richard wrote letters to *her* rather than the rest of the council and that she was the final deciding authority#when it came to her son (she was the one who wrote to him for his military escort) - it's a clear indication of who was seen as important#This is also reflected in 16th century chronicles like the claim that the Archbishop of York gave Elizabeth the Great Seal#We don't know if this is true - the Archbishop was definitely opposed to Richard but More may have embellished or invented the story#But either way it reflects the perception that Elizabeth would have a major role in the realm's governance during her son's minority#Which makes sense as Edward V would have been used to his mother governing for him as part of his council his whole life#It's also interesting to compare the impression we get of Elizabeth's role with that of former kings' mothers in late medieval England#Because that can help us understand her activities (and perception of them) within proper context rather than purely in isolation#From what I understand kings' mothers could be very influential (eg: Joan of Kent) but were almost never visibly/directly associated#with the governance of the realm. It's striking that the most extreme and arguably the only exception - Isabella of France - assumed#her unofficial regent-like role only after literally deposing the former King aka her husband in the most atypical situation imaginable#So it's striking that Elizabeth *was* visibly and directly associated with it despite her situation being entirely standard; despite the#lack of precedents; and despite the physical absence of her son. Especially since she was effectively the king's mother for only 20 days#I do think it's possible to argue that it says something about her power as queen#(Edward *did* give her unusual positions of authority either way) and may also suggest a more direct personality on her part#It may also explain why historians were/are so readily prepared to believe that she wanted to 'usurp the sovereignty' to quote George Buck#Ofc this is my interpretation based on my (limited) knowledge - feel free to correct me
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i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun
#i hate that this stance is also seen as childish#like i have a full time job & often have mandatory overtime i have income already#if u need to to make ends meet then thats different do what u can to help urself live as comfortably as possible#but holy fuck pleasure as an adult is not limited to sex & money & watching tv#besides u know not a single one of the people who say this are willing to actually pay what the arts worth#its like 'well not me but other people would love it!' yeah okay u know a lot of other people are going to see the#over $100 price tag and go 'i like it but not that much! other people however' like just shut up. honestly. be quiet.#if i speed ran my art and low balled myself to a $15/hour rate the lowest would still be like $120#which is not worth it AT ALL bc i just paid MORE to sit on my ass & look at eggs#and. again. is underselling myself for both experience & time. but people think $80 full body comms are too expensive#do u think im so stupid to not expect to get scammed when even 'easy' things are over $100#but no ur right why would i have fun with something when i could instead cause myself infinite stress over it perfect thanks#do not give me advice about doing comms i do not want to do comms#if u see me doing comms im in a very dire situation. like thats a last resort for me.
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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OOH... i might have just come up with a new plot-line for blamore, and it is kind of diabolical, NGL š
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#so... just for some background y'all: dorian christensen who is the same person that caused blamore to go through his VERY painful-#transformation had originally made the 'seeds' that blamore is using to give people superpowers but therein lies a problem.#because it hasn't been in contact with dorian since it destroyed the lab that they were performing the superhuman experiments in-#it doesn't know how to make more of them since dorian was the only one who knew their composition. and so blamore only has a limited amount#of them in his possession + he is trying to find dorian because of this atm and is determined to wrench the formula out of him if it-#has to. but what if i told y'all that blamore has not Fully Mutated yet. though it doesn't know that and so maybe#just maybe... blamore has this 'OMG' moment later on where he discovers that he CAN make them itself and doesn't need dorian's help-#so it's free to kill him?? idk i'm just. Having thoughts here but i think it would be so diabolical if Blamore had this power just sort of.#resting in it that wasn't activated yet OR something like that. idk i'm still trying to further out the kinks of it buttt it would give a-#whole nother meaning to his name of 'burgeon' because all that word really means is to grow and if blamore were to able to-#produce them on it's own then that'd both be kind of scary but also advance his character development
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Hello again, I'm here to request once more. Feel free to take all the time you need btw! I would always be patient for your wonderful works ^^
This time I'd like to request from the Drabble List#2 - 47 with the 020607 Trio (mainly Mahiru though). And yes, this is hugely inspired by that one minigram with Mahiru. And as usual, feel free to change the scenario and/or the characters.
Thank you again, good luck with your future studies and take all the time you need!!
Woo thank you so much!! :'D This one was a ton of fun (and once again led me to get smacked in the face with unlikely character parallels I wasn't aware of before). It's from Kazui's pov but it's still mainly about Mahiru. I ended up going canon-compliant, but I did consider sticking super close to the minigram and do a little normal-au where Mahiru drags them across Japan to make a perfectly homemade cake š
Everyone knew Mahiru had a tough time distinguishing genuine from joke, but Kazui hadnāt expected it to come back to bite him. Mahiru wasnāt stupid by any means; sometimes she just forgot that others werenāt as unabashedly honest as herself. When she said something, she meant it. Kazuiā¦ not so much.
Which is why, following a conversation about her skills in the kitchen, in response to being pressed about his own household, he thought it would be inconsequential to utter the following words to her.
āBake me a cake, and weāll talk.āĀ
Kazui had laughed his booming laugh, Mahiru had giggled in her sweet little way. Neither realized what had just transpired.
That is, until Yuno dragged Kazui across the prison the following day to make him aware of the monster he had released upon the kitchens. The two hurried over to find a massive operation underway: Mahiru had several layers in the works, she was stirring multiple fruit fillings, decoration choices scattered across the countertop, and anyone who dared venture too close was shooed away with a slap from her wooden spoon.Ā
It took a few minutes to get the situation all worked out.
āSoā¦ you didnāt really want a cakeā¦?ā She asked, pausing mid-stir. Her eyes were so big and round.
Yuno came to the rescue. āOf course he does!ā She interrupted. āEveryone here would die for a taste of your baking~āĀ
Kazui nodded. āI just didnāt mean for you to work so hard for my sake. Iām really not worth all this effortā¦ā
Mahiruās jaw fell, offended on his behalf. āYes you are!ā Her attention was momentarily caught by a timer chiming. Kazui took the bowl from her so she could take a pan from the oven. He picked up where she left off stirring.Ā
āEither way, why donāt I help you out?ā Yuno had grabbed some ingredients from the counter as well. āWhile we bake, Iāll tell you a little bit about myself. A little,ā he repeated.Ā
And he did. Her questions were easier than heād expected. While the others knew how to poke and prod about each otherās murders, Mahiru really did just want to know about his home life. While she buzzed around the kitchen switching pans and creating intricate icing patterns, she asked him about his childhood, his hobbies, his job. As soon as she saw his wife was a touchy subject, she let it drop (though with a bit of disappointment, to be sure). He scrambled a bit as Yuno the human lie detector would shoot him a look now and then. Overall, though, his measured answers managed to satisfy both women without giving much of himself away.
When they carried the spectacular cake into the common room to everyoneās amazement, Mahiru prodded him with her elbow.
āWe should talk more! I mean, come on. How difficult was that?ā
If only she knew the half of it.
āāā
āHey, Mahiru.ā Kazui traded weak smiles with Yuno as he joined her by the bed.
āOh. Hi Kazui,ā came her weak voice. She tried her best to smile under the tangle of bandages that surrounded her. Then, silence.Ā
Aside from a few coughs and small requests, that silence stretched on for hours. He and Yuno usually had a lot to talk about, but neither could muster anything up today.
He thought Mahiru had dozed off, but she surprised him by taking his hand. āKazui?ā
āYes?ā
āDo you really think Iām unforgivable?āĀ
He blinked. āI canāt really say.āĀ
The moment the words left his lips, he knew they were the wrong ones. Well, the glare that Yuno was trying to murder him with also helped. āEr, I forgive you, of course. Butā¦ I donāt know anything about you, Mahiru. Not really. I canāt say why others would think youāre unforgivable or not.āĀ
ā...I see.ā
Yuno looked like she wanted to add something, but couldnāt find the words. Traces of emotions flickered over her face before she could cover them up. Kazui guessed she wanted to defend Mahiru. But maybe she also agreed with him. And that was when the realization struck him.
āI guess, I always thought you were so much better than me and Yuno when it came to talking about yourself. You do it all the time, and very easily. But now that I think about it, I probably know just as much about your situation as you know about mine. For such an honest person, you hide everything just like we do. Or maybe, you hide from everything, like we do.ā
More silence.
A teary smile appeared on her face. āYou knowā¦ you could bake me a cakeā¦ and maybe weāll talk.ā
Kazui didnāt laugh, and she didnāt giggle. He nodded, solemnly. āI think thatās a good idea.ā
#milgram#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#yuno kashiki#i know yuno faded a bit into the background but shes in the same boat as kazui ;-;#i love that minigram so much asdfdsf she would have such massive ambitious projects š
#(and if the day 16 feast is any proof we know she really can pull them off!!)#so i think she could make this spectacular cake with limited prison resources -- the problem is no one is actually asking her to...#i know all the prisoners arent super open about their crimes but like if you ask the others directly it feels like theyll say a few things#even just to defend themselves#but yuno-mahiru-kazui may not even give you that much...#also picturing kazui very bad at baking so yuno definitely helps him with that cake he promises mappi :')#thank you so much for your kind words and patience ahh <3#i actually struggled a lot with this one (as in it took a while to physically write despite having the ideas early on) so it meant a lot āØ#i was so obsessed with this one --#one day i want to expand that first section and play out their actual conversation - i just love the concept of them baking and chatting#yuno coughing or bumping into kazui every time she can tell hes lying#mahiru subtly hiding things too without realizing#and cake shenanigans of course#it was way too much to cram into a drabble without getting lost but i do want to eventually š¤#and thank you-- studies are going well š¤ wishing you well in your current endeavors!#drabbles
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Class I had in my schedule for next semester (which starts in a month btw) got cancelled and they only told everyone about it like an hour ago and while I did manage to find something else and get everything sorted my heart is still pounding over the ordeal
#maybe I'm just too insane about my schedule but MAN i try so hard to make everything work with the limited trains i can take back and forth#while also giving myself enough time at home to actually do my work considering i lose almost 3 hours just in transportation every day#so telling me NOW when everything is picked over that you've cancelled a class on me and i will not have full student status#unless i find something else? IT'S A LITTLE STRESSFUL ACTUALLY#so much shit just straight up didn't even fit into my schedule cause of the times of my other classes#my major department really pack them in next to each other cause we're only allowed one classroom šš#but that's not exactly helpful for picking classes outside of the department#I'm extremely glad i finally got something to work out but it was very touch and go there for a while šš truly my body has not recovered#stress response goes crazy ig#megan.txt
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guess how many posts i have drafted
#1000 in the queue only because thatās the limit gotta love oc <3#evidence of life#iām going to be sick or sicker than i already am o777#suicidal ideation in tags after ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#itās so funny how i was like if i let it pass 1k iām killing myself š but i lived bitch#also iām having a weird ocd day in general because i can tag my posts even though i reallllyyyyyy want to organize them i canāt#itās giving when i need to clean the entire house or everyone will die but i canāt + [redacted] n i think to myself what i beautiful world:(#maybe i just need to listen to 003 nine times#iāll try that itās a very helpful track
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I should get better at +r testament. I should learn more. I should kill people
#im so torn between focusing on +r and strive like strive online would be way more fun but well. +r testament is more fun. i think.#can they give strive testament a new move :( i feel so limited playing them.#not helped by me having very few Patterns but like man.#they have like twice as many moves in +r lolā¦#do i use all of them consistently? fuck no. but still.#the kat goes meow
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Why, is he so pretty (Patreon)
Bonus Max ā„
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Helix#ZEX#Max Vyer#Doodles between studies and playing with hair how could this have happened hehehe āŖ#Hghhghgh every time - Every Time!! Every time I see sketches it Makes Me Want To Draw and then I do and it's great and I love it#Inspire!! My favourite āŖ#Helps when the subject is as cute as ZEX is hehe <3#First one was before that but I'm still counting it because he's still just as cute lol#Back him into a corner do it (and also give him kisses he deserves it)#He's just so popular! All eyes on him!#The more experienced in the leader role ā«#The rest are all inspired-bys lol - the studies were quite fun as well! They always are#I hadn't really given much consideration to his hair to be honest :0 Other than feeling like I make his hair too long and fluffy lol#But to me fluff = fluff = fluff so seeing the shapes broken down was really neat :D#How it would react to being up or down or different weights and thicknesses and curliness - very cool! Like it a lot :D#I really like his bangs covering his closed eye hehe <3 Weighted or otherwise! Just seems like it'd be convenient for him#That way that hair in your eyes limits your visibility and/or blink a bunch but he just keeps his shut haha#There's also something nice about it being out of his face and you can see his closed eye so clearly as well āŖ#Conversation starter hehe#And one that's not a style study but /is/ from after doing a couple haha - nose ear and eyes seem to be the big factors there hmm#It's interesting :3#And fun! :D#And then a bonus Max for funsies because I'm Love Him and he's So cute <3#Cannot draw this man without a pillow he embodies pillows to me he needs a pillow that is His Prop in my head lol#If/when I make that Max plush (it's still on my mind) definitely gonna have to make him a pajama set with pillow and blanket#Needs the cute sleepies! It's required!!!
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I HATE to admit it but this Pre-AP thing I was forced into doing for my 8th grade English class is giving me many ideas and concrete tools for how to teach and grade writing.
#the thing is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's still stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#their premise (about writing about analysis) about it all is pretty limited and limitING#but i can use it and it gives concrete formats i can work with and tbh that is a very hard thing to do as a teacher#anyway i'm so annoyed that it's helping but
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#girl help the ratios of the substances have shifted and i am very limited on which ones i get to re-up during my work shift#not abusing substances are for people who will keep their job <3 next week harold on the other side of this whole mess can adjust.#anyway i spent a hundred dollars on records. and i havent thrown up yet. i also havent eaten yet but we are not splitting hairs here#everybody say it with me we'll all say it right at once:#its NOT my fault if someone kills themselves EVEN if i caused the trigger#four years ago harold is chucking so many heavy objects at me through spacetime. hes so fucking mad at me and he's right to be.#anyway if you wanna get with me in the future im gonna give you one of those depression/anxiety worksheets ur doctor gives u if ur on SSRIs#im not GLAD my boss also feels very very very very bad but at least we both understand each others successes and failures RE: vomiting @wor
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