#so stuff just didnt hit right? idk i just could not gaf about her

[climbdraws]

so. avatar 2. as great as it was that sigourney weaver was in this movie again I felt like she would have been better suited for flashbacks showing the initial human /na'vi relationship as she's the one who taught them English instead of making her into a 14 year old Jesus

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

AHH i adore this. i adore this. also im sorry im replying so late i just started gossip girl and i love hot rich terrible people, which is exactly what we're talking about !!! yippee !!!!!!!

ALSO. i read all of the chapter where bcjr showed himself in gof, and god is it gold ?? i love love love everything you've said about bcjr seeing voldemort as a father figure. i have sm thoughts on their relationship and most importantly this one. bcjr who likely so sought his father's approval (during early childhood) would definitely go to the dark lord. (*1). he knows what to do to get approval, there, and more importantly he knows how to do it - he knows that he can. he wants to. also uhh barty seeing voldemort as a father figure is litr canon.

also, yes, barty is a follower. 100%. he wants to be. he is so obsessed with voldemort god i will talk about it . in one moment. he sees voldemort as someone above himself, as all (?) death eaters do, but like methinks it goes deeper !!! bcjr sees all parent/child dynamics with a clear power difference, it's how he sees how his relationship with his own father. and like youre so right voldemort would noottt gaf about bcjr's daddy/psychosexual obsession with him (personal hc i would like to throw in bc. why not.) but he knows how valuable bcjr's loyalty is, i feel like he'd give bcjr 0.1% more attention than he's used to once in a while and use a faux disappointed tone and barty would work ten times harder like his father's well-trained bitch, but voldy himself wouldnt do anything more. he could but he's content.

that being said he does see himself as similar to voldemort !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he thinks that this relationship is reciprocated, that voldemort sees himself in barty the same way.

(also bye i didnt remember bcjr killed his dad ... i wasnt familiar w your abuse mr bcsr,). idk how known it is what voldemort's birthname was, i think it's canon that voldemort erased all ties w his muggle heritage and i think even bcjr's creepy obsession stalking wouldnt be able to uncover the dark lord's secrets which meansss voldemort told him !!! ?????? YUM. i dont know what to do with this information. thoughts?

(*1). okay sooo yes . i read the chapter, bcjr doesnt mention blood purity at all. i do think he was a blood purist, obviously, but yes i think bcjr loyalty was to voldemort rather than voldemort's-love-for-purebloods. i think an alternate reality where he was treated for his illnesses and grew up a little more loved he wouldntve been a part of any of it at all. but like you said - i dont think anyone knew, because a blood-purist death eater? everyone would have seen that coming.

also yes. i love good boy barty crouch jr. the insane stuff is cute but like only behind closed doors.

yes okay walburga. im gna bfr i wasnt even thinking from the blood purist angle, but from the parent one. with ideas on blood purity i do think bcsr wasnt very fond of the blacks, but yeah like sirius said they weren't voldemort's supporters i think (for bcsr) it was divided into voldemort's groupies vs Not That, and since the blacks were Not That (+ sirius says w&o thought voldy took it too far anyway) i think bcsr thought "eh, how bad could they be?". as a parent, though, i think bcsr understood walburga (to a degree) but never showed it to sirius because i love your idea that he would use it to make sirius more attached to himself. bcsr does hit sirius, occasionally, and james says he shouldnt but sirius thinks knows that james' thoughts on bad/abusive are very different from his own, and sirius knows what bad is, right? he's intelligent and he would recognize abuse if it (literally) hit him in the face.

also i know im talking about walburga only (i love her and rsp w sirius sm) but i think bcsr would orion as an easier topic of discussion. sirius has a complicated relationship with walburga whereas with orion it just. is not. there. sirius resents his father, he hates walburga, but he also loves her. he doesnt love orion. it's easy to exploit yk.

also yumm yes bcsr asking sirius to come to him when he's already at the potters and sirius maybe mentioning it to them (because its fine and normal and good... right?) but james has already told his parents (somewhat) of what sirius told him and the potters sit him down and talk to him and, well, sirius ended up not going to the crouches afterall.

also help yes. bcsr does love his wife a great deal, its mentioned like four times in bcjr's monologue alone, i can imagine her thinking she can maybe ease them into having a few semi-civil dinners and then ... sirius black enters. bcsr is just cutting out everything for sirius. on one hand, mrs crouch is happy because when sirius is with bcsr he seems happy which means he doesnt hurt her son, on the other hand her son is a piece of shit (affectionate) (well, for her.) and goes out of his way to talk shit about sirius. sirius himself isnt bothered by it, he pities barty, he barely registers them at all, absolutely cannot find it in himself to care. bcsr, however, is not that nonchalant. how dare someone insult his son sirius? he would def beat bcjr for it and sirius would just be like 🧍🏻‍♀️

so um yes. i think mrs crouch would mention that sirius should go back home veryyy subtly (not subtly at all.) numerous times like you said, which i think would create a teensy weensy bit of problems for their relationship.

AND YESS barty would hate sirius. he hates him. but hes also obsessed with him. he does get a sort of satisfaction whenever sirius is there and his father still focuses on him instead (even if its only with a beating), like a 'fuck you' (it is not read that way at all. obviously.)

and yes yes yes bcjr definitely is a crier. its the only bcjr that exists in the world, where he cries all the time. (i mean, he has reason to, obviously, but bcsr doesnt see that, or care). sirius, on the other hand, barely ever cries. fuck that, he barely even cares about anything at all. bcsr adores that - that is what gets one far in life, that sort of aloofness, that coldness, that edge. sirius being, like, twelve and this perfectly poised doll, malleable enough for bcsr to mold but firm enough to be his own person? thats like bcsr's wet dream.

sirius spends his entire life being told that crying is for girls or for lesser people or just straight up unbecoming, pointless, and stupid. bcsr tells sirius its okay to cry once or twice because he knows it will do nothing, that sirius will continue to be quiet and stony, and on the plus side bcsr will become an even better person in sirius' eyes !!!

also, yes. i imagine both sirius and bcjr with mental illnesses, it's just that bcjr has the "bad kind". i hc sirius as bipolar and idk how i can fit that in here, other than the detail that bcsr would think that sirius is being dramatic and send him home the first time he's in a depressive episode/not listening due to a manic one. next year when sirius returns, he has mood stabilizers he stole from lily. bcjr i imagine with bpd, ocd, anxiety and ptsd - bcjr is loud and angry and cries a lot and is obsessive and sick and never listens and a hundred more things but bcsr never tells him more because by the time he's processing all that he's already started hitting his son

also yes help i do love the idea of bcjr being a clutz. just like little flaws like being forgetful, petulant, unhygienic, etc etc where as bcsr finds sirius to be flawless.

now for the son-trade off (goated name, consider it stolen): the idea of bcjr pouring his heart out to walburga like he's seen sirius do to his father and walburga being like "oh that's terrible... anyway-" because who wants barty jr once youve had sirius black?

for the regulus' birthdate i think it's on the wiki? it's what i found, r being born in mid 1960 and bcjr mid 1961. idk tho

(also ily for censoring j*gulus)

ALSOOO PLEASE THOUGHTS ON DEATHSTAR IN THIS CONTEXT !!! i love love love them hate fucking but in this context they have somewhat of a dynamic predefined and like. im in love w it. "barty having a psychosexual hatecrush on sirius bc he’s daddy’s favorite" - yes that wording is actually perfect i think you should get a literary award for it.

(alsoo just wanted to ask if you were okay w a little bcsr/sirius? (maybe one sided?)(could work from either side..)(or it could be requited.)(i wouldnt put it past bcsr to groom his fake-son). also maybe perhaps crouchcest? this one wd def be unrequited featuring bcjrs daddy-issues-turned-daddy-kink. dont wna make u uncomf so lmk!!)

do you mean barty crouch sr by bcsr??? because omg plz tell me what you think about sirius’s relationship w him, i find the crouches so interesting, i would love to hear about that

YESS i LOVE you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont actually know how much of what i imagine for them can be fit into canon/is canon but like sglkfd.

so barty jr and sirius probably met during their childhood i think, bcjr was intelligent and well mannered and a respectable kid in sirius' age range, and ofc there's the hc that he was close friends w regulus, too. i hc he was pretty distant w bcjr himself but i just knoww sirius 'daddy issues' black needed everyone's parents' approval. orion was a negligent asshole sawr i think its a pretty valid course of action yk

and ofc bcsr loved him !! he was intelligent, he was quick, he was charming, well mannered, all the shit he wishes his bastard of a son was. and barty sr is a bit manipulative too yk he would definitely try to steal sirius away from his family and friends because he knows what sirius needs.

and like !! bcsr. he knows his son is death eater, he does use sirius as a replacement. he doesnt hide it, either, which he thinks justifies using a very obviously traumatized young boy to forget about the guilt in his heart about abusing, traumatizing and neglecting his own son. that being said, he gives sirius the watered down version of abuse his parents do - which sirius has grown comfortable enough with. that being said, the main reason sirius ran away isnt there: he's not a supporter of voldemort. he's actively fighting against him. (also hehe i hc walburga as bipolar so sirius is just happy he doesnt have a timebomb in the house 24/7) (or at least the timebomb doesnt explode around him !!). bcsr still mentions who sirius should associate himself with, still is disappointed when he doesnt get a good grade (an E instead of an O), he yells at sirius, maybe he raises a hand at him too - but at the end of the day sirius finds him justified because he's the one who took sirius under his wing, and is helping him, and is nice to him, and this is really what parents do to their children, right?

here is also when the post comes in btw: bcsr feels entitled to sirius' life, his idea of a parent/child relationship is ownership, and unfortunately that's sirius' view of it too, but bcsr is a lot calmer and quieter than walburga, he cares more than orion - to sirius its really the best of both worlds. bcsr wants sirius to go in politics which sirius does not want because he already has whatever career he's chosen for himself, and bcsr feels it necessary that sirius follow his - his own son wont.

bcsr does need sirius, he confides in him, he loves him (in his own fucked up way). sirius moves on, he runs away and gets farther and farther away from everything that reminds him of Before and feels resentment that bcsr (a man who he's considered his strongest father figure for years) doesn't even reach out to him once. bcsr feels that its a child's responsibility to reach out every time - he feels betrayed that sirius didn't runaway to him, that he didnt even know sirius had runaway till someone told him in passing. the letters they exchanged come to an abrupt end and it just feels like everything ended in the middle of it yk. barty crouch sr doesnt see sirius till sirius is arrested, soon after his own bio son is x

(also, yes sirius does still have the potters, but the potters are a completely different world to him. he's not used to that kind of completely unconditional love, he's not used to seeing how they shower their heir son in love. its a little bittersweet, it feels like a fantasy, sirius feels like he's intruding, he fills resentment to james for being raised with parents who love him and ofc he doesnt want that so he finds solace elsewhere. he thinks the potters are angels on earth, his relationship with bcsr is what the normal parent/child relationship. if walburga and orion are a 10 on the scale of what sirius considers to be 'bad parents', euphemia and fleamont are in the negative. bcsr falls somewhere in the middle, like a 2 or 3 to sirius. to bcjr, sirius can recognize, that bcsr is horrible. he yells, may hit, he's permanently disappointed when they do interact. they barely ever do - bcsr is always busy, he makes special time for sirius (which makes sirius giddy bc wowzers am i that important?) which cuts out even more time from bcsr and bcjr to interact. also, bcsr calls sirius son and he doesnt call bcjr son. sirius is lowk a homewrecker i love him.).