#so naturally the only thing left is to expose your neck at lightspeed

[anophiles]

bite him, just do it 😬

[honestlywrites]

Clan of Three | Chapter Eight (Din Djarin x Mando!Reader)

Summary: After learning of your partner’s name, you find yourself feeling guilty for not being able to share the same trust and intimacy. As time goes on, you begin to realize the bubbling emotions that come to the surface, making you question your relationship even more. 

Clan of Three Masterlist

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The sound of the Razor Crest soaring through space at lightspeed feels endless, like a void swallowing you whole. The guilt of holding your partner’s name inside your brain and not returning the trust eats away at you, the silence reminding you of your faults. He let you in, showed you his family, and you did nothing to reciprocate the trust. But you did, you did trust him. Right?

Reliving the horrors of your past was jarring, to say the least. Yet, in a way, you felt free. The matronly figure of the Armorer comforted you and your thoughts, for her to be so welcoming was truly a gift. It was secure and safe, almost too much so. You have no doubts about the Mandalorians in the covert and their ability to defend themselves, but every time you dwell on the comfort of finding a family, your past one comes back to haunt you. The creaking of the pilot chair makes you jump in your seat as Din turns to you.

“You can go sleep, I’ll pilot the ship,” his voice is soft, almost as if he fears startling you. You ponder on his offer but quickly shake your head.

“I could not sleep if I wanted to,” you speak, your voice barely coming through the modulator of your helmet. There is a moment of silence before the man in front of you speaks again.

“Why?” This truly was the question. Why could you not forget the screams of your covert? Why could you not forget the image of your mother being ripped away from you? Why could you not forgive yourself for sins you did not commit?

“I apologize if I overstepped in our relationship, I just thought--”

“No, no. You’re fine,” you speak up and look to him, imagining his eyes through the darkness of his visor. “I should be the one apologizing.”

“You did nothing wrong. I don’t understand,” he turns to you fully, allowing the two of you to take in each other. You observe him wholly, taking his intimidating stance and his large stature. All of the bounties that the two of you hunted together came to fear the image of this armored Mandalorian with durasteel the color of blood, but when you truly look at him there is only one thing you see. A friend, maybe something even more. The two of you shared a creed, a culture that bound your souls forever. Truly, it was miraculous and hard to understand, but you had never felt so whole since your last covert.

“I had lost everything,” you mutter, fighting the wetness that threatens to gather in the pools of your eyes. “My covert, they were killed. Not only that but my buir.”

Your voice breaks. Nothing can stop the fat droplets of salty water that drip down your cheeks like streams gushing from the earth. 

“My mother was taken from me, the woman who raised me. I may not have been born a Mandalorian, but she might as well have birthed me herself. She found me when I was a child, left on the roads to be abandoned on the streets. She took me in, raised me as one of her own. I only know the way of the Mandalorians,” the tears flow freely down your cheeks, running down your neck into the fabric of your underclothing. “When this was taken away from me, I was lost and alone, clinging to the creed for comfort. We are warriors and so I took to protect the daughter of a king and queen. She was like my sister, but I had never felt more alone in my entire life. When you appeared that night, of course, I protected her. But I found myself wanting to find you, to know if I wasn’t alone. Now that you have allowed me into your covert, I find myself to be a coward for not even being able to share my name with you.”

Sobs shake your entire body and you wrap your arms around yourself, the whole truth crashing down like a wave threatening to drown you under the guilt. The tears blind you and your vision blurs, the light of space coming together in a mess of lines. Silence consumes the ship once more but you feel the hand of Din rest on your knee fondly, showing you comfort even while he remains silent. You do your best to blink all of the tears out of your eyes, wanting to look at your companion with a full vision. Removing your arms from around your body, you reach down and take his hand in yours, feeling the warmth of him coming off in waves. His hand is much larger than yours and you feel a fondness for the way that his entire being seems to wrap around you in a phantom blanket of understanding. Once the tears dry on your cheeks, the fatigue hits you quickly and soon your eyes droop closed, falling into the comfort of sleep.

This time, visions of your mother do not come. You are not haunted by your past and you are relieved to feel comforted by the gentle embrace of slumber. Your dreams are filled with memories of your life on Mandalore, running around with other younglings as you learn to shoot a bow for the first time and find that the task comes naturally to you. Smiling, you hug your buir as she praises you for shooting the bow accurately, and rewards you with an extra pastry during supper time. 

Waking up from your nap, you find yourself lying in the bed. Your limbs are slightly stiff from having your armor cling to your body for so long, but the thought of Din lifting you and carrying you to bed sets off warmth in your heart, a foreign feeling. Sitting up from the plush mattress, you notice the lack of movement from the ship and infer that you have reached your destination. For the first time in your life, the comfortable mattress was soothing rather than alarming, that you felt safe enough to not be on guard. You stand and walk out, finding that your partner is nowhere to be seen. Climbing down the stairs, the ramp is open and lets in a roll of cool air from the forest that you appear to be camping in. Your boots make a clunking noise as you descend the ramp and notice a small fire just outside the ramp with Din carefully tending to it.

“You’re awake,” he muses, looking up at you approaching him.

“Thank you for carrying me to the bed, it was much more comfortable than waking up with a stiff neck,” you state and smile, watching him nod in response. “Well, I’ll just wait on the ship for my dinner.”

“No!” Din’s sharp voice startles you slightly as you jump from the suddenness. “I mean, I enjoy your company, you can take it in when it’s done cooking.”

You slowly nod and take a seat next to him, watching the bright orange embers dance and light up the camp around you as the sun sets on the eastern horizon. The crackles and pops of the wood fill the air as you sit in comfortable silence.

 “I was a foundling too,” you turn your head in Din’s direction as he speaks, feeling the uncertainty of his words. “My mother and father were killed by droids and the Mandalorians saved me from the same fate.” His words are short and come out sharply but the willingness sits out in the open, an invitation to be vulnerable around him. He wears his battle-hardened demeanor on his sleeve, obviously closed off to the world after years of having to hunt bounties to help the covert thrive and to secure the sanctity of the creed, but his weariness of the world, of people, shows his fear of intimacy. The fire continues to crackle on, wanting you to continue the conversation. A stone of fear rolls in your stomach, but you shove it away and find words to say.

“We may have been trained together, then,” you state, thinking back to the times when you were free to roam without a helmet. These memories make you long to remove the purple durasteel, to simply be around other beings. This was not the way, though. 

“Perhaps,” he mumbles and uses a stick to turn over the meat that roasts at the side of the fire. Your partner portions out food on two large leaves that were native to the planet you were on. They served very well as plates and as the smell of the fresh food wafts into your helmet, you find your mouth begins to salivate as your stomach grumbles.

“Thank you,” you smile and gently pat the shoulder of Din, standing and walking back to the ship to enjoy your meals separately. In the low lighting of the bedroom, you finally take your helmet off and expose your face to the air around you. It is crisp and cold, filling your lungs and chilling your body only to energize it from the freshness of the oxygen. You eat quickly, humming in satisfaction from the sharp spices that hit your tongue. The planet you landed on must have some fresh spices and herbs because the meal dances on your tastebuds, exciting your senses for the first time in a while. Rations did get old quickly. A smile plays on your lips as you find yourself licking the leaf for the remaining food. Sometimes always eating alone yielded benefits that many did not entertain. 

Leaning against the frame of the bed, you find yourself getting lost in your thoughts. It was now a habit, for Din was rarely a talker. Perhaps this is why you find yourself thinking about him, trying to understand him through everything you could pick up. He did care about you, though. This much was obvious. From the way that he cared for you when the blaster tore into your skin from the trust that came with his name, he was letting you into his life. Months ago, he barely let you pilot the ship, but now there was something more than a simple friendship. Was this, no it could not be. Your heart pounds deeply in your chest and you pull your helmet on quickly to hide from the world. Warmth bubbles to your cheeks and the flushness of your skin was concealed by emotionless durasteel, at least this was what you hoped it did. Walking out of the room and down the ladder to the ramp, you pause for a moment before the fire comes into your vision.

“Are you done?’ you ask, even closing your eyes out of fear.

“Yes,” Din’s voice appears in front of you and you jump from the closeness of his presence, having snuck up on you when your eyes were closed. A soft chuckle escapes him and you playfully push his shoulder.

“Don’t do that, I was trying to be polite,” you growl at him, no menace in your words. He laughs once again, a full-bodied laugh that requires him to hold his stomach. You smile and shake your head, sighing as the fire slowly begins to die out.

“We must go out at night,” he states after recovering from his laughter, walking up to the weapons locker and opening it up to pick at his array of weaponry.

“Why?” you ask, grabbing your compound blaster and slinging it over your shoulder to hang comfortably. 

“This target is nocturnal and while it would be easier to strike while they sleep, I’m not that cruel,” he states and you shake your head, grabbing a small knife to strap to your thigh.

“You’re a bounty hunter, that’s pretty ruthless,” you muse and close the locker.

“So are you, but you’re the furthest from being heartless,” your breath catches in your throat at the comment and you flush, once again thanking the helmet for hiding your embarrassment from the world. 

“Let’s go,” you mumble shyly and begin to exit the ship. Din follows closely behind you, closing the ramp before the two of you embark on your journey to the small town. The stars shine brightly, lighting up the forest as they glitter above. Perhaps if you stared long enough, you could get lost in the array of lights, each signifying a star or a planet. Such small things reminded you of how vast the galaxy truly is. 

Just like your partner had said, the small town was booming with creatures that you were unfamiliar with. They did speak Basic though and were not afraid to voice their thoughts as the two of you marched through the town on a hunt to find the bounty. He is found playing Sabbac at the small cantina that sits in the middle of the town, gambling away all his money. This was the same action that caused him to gain a target on his back. He pushes all the credits into the center when you and Din enter the establishment, all eyes settling on the two of you. At this point, the attention does not bother you and you easily find your way to the bounty. 

“A female Mandalorian? Interesting,” the bounty mutters. He is not good-looking, at least to you, with his dry scaly skin and beady eyes. The man looks you up and down and the action itself violates you in a way that makes your body cringe.  Din quickly slams down the puck, the noise startling the man in his place. 

“We can bring you in warm, or we can bring you in cold,” Din’s voice is low, lower than usual, but you brush it aside and watch the bounty smile up at you.

“To be taken by such a full-bodied lady is a compliment in itself,” the man grins up at you and you shake your head, beginning to get the binders out when Din slams the head of the man into the table, effectively knocking him out. 

“Let’s go,” he grumbles, picking up the man and beginning his trek back to the ship. You grab the punk and follow behind quickly, hiding your amusement. While you may have been disgusted by the foreign man, the curiosity gets the best of you when you replay the events that occurred in the cantina. Perhaps Din was fatigued from the journey. After all, he did pilot the entire flight and probably lost his temper, yet another thought plays at the edge of your mind. 

The path back to the ship is quick and you follow behind your partner, you watch him walk up the ramp and slam the bounty into the carbon freezer, punching in the command to freeze the man. You pause behind him and watch, a frown settling in your forehead.

“Are you okay?” you ask, slowly walking up behind him. Din remains silent as he watches the man freeze in the metal.

“He was disrespectful toward you,” he turns to look at you and you smile, shaking your head.

“It’s not the first time a man has been rude to me,” you start and gently take Din’s hand in yours. “Besides, I can handle myself.”

You playfully tap the forehead of your helmet to his, watching him recoil from the harsh movement. Moving into the ship, you hang your weapon up on the wall beside the locker. 

“I’ll fly, you sound like you need a nap,” you turn back and shoot him a cheeky smile before crawling up the ladder into the cockpit.