#so maybe the bits about killing god and breaking free of the tyrannical authority of the church just held my interest

[grimark]

i’m re-reading the his dark materials trilogy as a bit of a nostalgia trip and i have to say. i do wish that when i’d read these as an impressionable pre-teen that the part with the gay angels had made a bit more of an impression on me.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

The Magical Healing Powers of Hot Cocoa

Main Characters: Loki x Read

Summary:  After stealing the tesseract in Endgame Loki finds himself trying to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life. He's lost and reeling until he meets you (and your daughter) and suddenly he knows exactly what he wants in his life.

Warnings/ Content: Angst if you squint but primarily it’s just sweet fluff here!

Word Count: 10,376

Author’s Note: This fic was written for Sherry’s Fall Into You Challenge. I snagged prompt #14 which was “Drinking Hot Chocolate”. Hopefully @sherrybaby14 will forgive me for calling it cocoa, I had the whole thing written out when I reread my actual prompt! I had so much fun writing this and it went on for much longer than I expected it to. I just love the idea of Loki finding happiness after so many years of struggling. I also have it up over AO3 since I know it can be easier to read something this long over on their platform. Thank you all for reading and a huge thank you for @sherrybaby14 for hosting this super fun challenge!

XOXO - Ash

The Magical Healing Powers of Hot Cocoa

Part One

Loki watched as the tesseract fell from its case and slid across the marble floor to his feet. There was no time to think, everyone was distracted by Tony Stark collapsed on the floor. Loki knew of the power of the tesseract but had never used it to transport himself before. Grasping the glowing cube in his hands he desperately pulled at his seidr and with a burst of light found himself on the fifth floor of the building. Loki was shaking, his breaths coming in large gasps; he was free. Loki could hear the crackle of a Comm Unit and located the receiver docked at an abandoned desk. 

“Loki is on the fourteenth floor.” the voice of Steve Rogers called out of the device. 

Interesting, Loki thought to himself. He couldn’t resist investigating, he knew he was too curious by nature but he followed his instincts and crept silently up to the fourteenth floor where he found Steve Rogers fighting Steve Rogers. It was quite a sight and Loki stared at the scene in disbelief. The imposter was certainly not their Captain America but it begged to question, who was it? Loki stared at the second Steve with curiosity, he wondered how this second man had come to be and when he raced off after leaving their Steve unconscious Loki chose to follow him. There was nothing keeping him around and he loathed the idea of being captured by his brother again. 

Quiet as a ghost, Loki wrapped himself in seidr and followed this new Steve out of the building and into an ally where he was met by an older looking Tony Stark and a younger, very confused looking man in the same style suit as theirs. Loki was irked as Steve handed the younger man his scepter but he wasn’t willing to make his presence known. After a heated conversation Tony and Steve started pressing buttons on a device they both wore on their wrists. Loki didn’t hesitate when he saw the air around their bodies shift, he grasped onto Steve’s arm and was hurtled through time and space with them. A moment later, Loki found himself standing in a military base many decades in the past along with Tony and Steve. 

Loki released Steve’s arm, he might be cloaked from view but he couldn’t risk the captain feeling his touch by accident. It wasn’t easy following the two around the base and several times Loki doubted his own sanity for even attempting this fools mission. But he wanted to see what the men were doing and what they were taking from this place. Loki was ready when they started tapping away at their wrist devices again and he placed a tentative hand on Tony’s back. Just as before, he was pulled along with them.  

Loki looked around the compound, unable to place himself in time. Tony and Steve were speaking animatedly with a sobbing Clint, and an assembled group of others all wearing the same suits. Loki silently moved away from the raised platform they’d landed on. He walked around inspecting the room and strained to see if he could recognize anyone else in the group. The moment his eyes locked on Thor he felt the wind knocked out of him. Surely this was another universe, it would take an impossibly cruel world to have ruined his shining god of a brother. Loki fled, unsure where was going or really, where he was. 

Loki eventually found himself in an empty office filled with computers and he pulled up the date as quickly as he could. It was 2023, eleven years in the future from his time. Loki knew the last eleven years must have been rough on the Avengers and he needed to know what had happened. Pulling up files and reports from the main drive Loki downloaded as much as he could onto the laptop. Reports and files and photos whizzed past on the screen and one in particular caught his eye; Loki (Laufeyson) Odinson - Death Record. Loki clicked open the file and began reading the report. His head swam with the information. Killed, at Thanos’ hand, on a ship back to Earth with the remaining Asgardians after they caused Ragnarock to stop his tyrannical sister. Loki was on the verge of breaking down, his mind reeling trying to make sense of all this new information and the strange future around him. He feared in his distress that the cloaking of his seidr would fail him.

Pulling himself together, Loki knew he needed to get the hell out of wherever he was, but he also needed to know what kind of world he was walking out into. Loki rifled through the desks while he waited, looking for anything that could be useful to him. Pushing past stacks of paper he found a granola bar, a bottle of Pepsi, and a key to a safe. Loki quickly scanned the room, desperate to locate the safe before his time was up. The glint of a lock caught his eye on the bottom of one of the desks and the key slid it in with a click. Nothing too exciting inside, mostly paperwork, but there was also a thick envelope with $5,000 cash. Loki thanked the Norns, it was enough to keep him going for a bit. After several tense minutes the downloads were complete and Loki grabbed the slim black laptop off it’s dock. Cursing himself, Loki doubled back to grab the charging cable and then bolted from the room.

Loki hurried off the compound grounds and began walking down the street to wherever it would lead. Part of him wanted to just hop back to 2012 but he wasn’t sure how to go about that, even if he managed to get his hands on one of those wrist devices. And if he did go back, he was a wanted man whose death he had already seen. Loki made a decision not to go anywhere else in time until he had learned what missteps he took that lead to his untimely demise. Maybe once he knew, he could go back and do it all over, save his brother and his people. Wouldn’t that surprise them all, he mused as he walked. 

Eventually Loki realized he needed to get out of wherever here was so that he couldn’t be accidentally spotted by one of the pesky Avengers or their allies. So using the tesseracts powers Loki jumped through space to the only place he could think of: New York City.

Part Two

The city was bustling, a sea of people flooding past the entrance to the alley Loki materialized in. Perfect cover for someone trying to disappear and stay hidden, he thought. Loki swept his seidr over himself, changing out of his beloved Asgardian clothes and into what he hoped would pass as an “Average Joe”. He hated the idea of being considered some common Midgardian but he needed to blend in. He materialized fitted black jeans, an emerald green tee, and black boots for himself hoping it was adequately innocuous. The October chill was more prominent in the city and Loki enjoyed the cool air nipping at his skin. He pulled his silky black hair back in low bun and then joined the sea of passing people. 

After a few blocks he spotted a diner advertising free Wifi and Loki figured that was as good as he was going to find until he could procure a hotel room for the night. The scent of french fry grease hit him as he entered and he wrinkled his nose at it. But it was warm inside and the sun would be setting soon. It was better than nothing for now and he needed sustenance. 

“Grab a seat anywhere.” you call out in an overly cheerful voice, not looking up from the mug you’re filling with coffee. You are eight hours into a twelve hour shift and are desperately ready for the dinner rush to die down a little so you can grab yourself a bite to eat. You see out of the corner of your eye a single figure take the farthest seat down at the counter next to the wall. You hate when people camp out at the very last seat along the counter, it makes it harder to keep an eye on everyone when they’re scattered. Still easier than being stuck waiting on the booths though. 

Loki settles in at the farthest seat away from the people at the counter, thankful for the wall on one side of him and praying no one dares to occupy the seat to his left. He needs privacy so he can look through the files he’d downloaded without horrifying some nosy Midgardian. Loki opens up the lid of the laptop and sets it out in front of him on the counter, hoping it makes his intention to not be disturbed clear. 

You swing down a minute later, order pad in hand. “Can I get you something to drink?” you ask, pen poised and ready.

Loki barely looks up from his screen other than to acknowledge that someone is present, “What type of tea do you have?” he asks. 

The smooth, rich timber of his voice has you lifting your head. It’s accented, but you can’t quite place it’s origin. Possibly English but it’s refined, elegant, and somehow it brings to mind the legends of King Arthur and Lancelot. “We have plain Lipton. Or decaf.” you tell him. You hadn’t really taken note of him when he walked in but you realize he’s actually quite attractive after taking a moment to study him. His shiny blue-black hair looks impossibly soft, his skin porcelain pale, his body lithe but with broad shoulders and lean muscles. He’s far from your standard weeknight patrons. He has to be a model or actor of some sort. 

Loki purses his lips in disapproval, “Coffee, then.” 

“Coming right up.” You barely suppress your eye roll at his distaste for the tea choices. It’s a diner, what does this guy expect? But fancy voice most likely means fancy tastes, and hopefully for you a nice big tip. You dash back down with a mug of fresh coffee and a menu, depositing both next to him without interrupting whatever he’s working on. 

Loki is engrossed in the files he downloaded. He sifts through the last decade of the world and it isn’t painting a pretty picture. As much as it pains him to admit it, his heart aches at the deaths of Odin and Frigga, the only parents he’d ever known, as well as for the destruction of Asgard. The details of Thor’s slide into despair and self loathing over the past five years are particularly painful as well. It is a bleak future for everyone and he’s planning how he can prevent it when he notices a file on the multiverse. There is no changing what happened in this reality, just as there is no way to go back and change the course of the one he came from at this point. 

Loki hangs his head, defeated in a way that he rarely allows himself to feel. He notices the mug of coffee and takes a tentative sip. It’s dark and bitter but not as terrible as he’d expected. It’s cool at this point so he pulses a little seidr into the drink warming it back up. He lets the mug warm his hands, needing a moment to collect himself. He’s trying to work out what to do next, where to go. Loki has always been a planner, ensuring he is two steps ahead of everyone else, but now... he’s lost. It’s an uncomfortable feeling and one he has no intention of becoming well acquainted with. 

You start and stop a few times to return to the end of the counter to check on your solitary customer. The pained expression he wears stops you in your tracks each time. He is clearly going through something and you don’t want to pester him. You are about to head down again when your daughter tugs on your apron hem. “Mama,” she says as she pulls. “Pleeease make me hot cocoa?” 

You stare down into your daughter’s eyes and she gives you her very best behaved smile. You sigh, at least she has been keeping herself busy at the counter with her coloring book and not causing any trouble for you or the owner whose office she had taken over earlier in the day. “Okay, Lilly-pad. One hot cocoa, coming up.” you give her thin shoulder a squeeze and head back to make it yourself.

You had been so fortunate to find this job after your fiance and Lilly’s father, Max, disappeared. The owner, Beth, adores you both and lets you be flexible with your schedule to ensure you have childcare for Lilly. Though now that she is getting older she enjoys hanging out at the diner while you work and Beth enjoys having her there too. Max had gone missing the day of The Decimation, his name added to those of the lost. You went from a mostly happy fiance and stay at home mom to a single working mom, and it had been a rough adjustment. Lilly was only a few months old when it happened and you’d had taken the first job you came across, desperate for any income you could get. A year later you found out through a friend that Max was alive and well, living the bachelor life in New Jersey. He’d seen what was going on and took it as his chance to run. You knew Lilly hadn’t been planned, and sure, Max probably wasn’t your soulmate, but you had been happy once and it broke your heart all over again that he’d run out on you. But in the end you had Lilly and she was the absolute best thing you had ever done. 

Tearing yourself from wallowing, you return to your daughter with her cocoa. 

Lilly squeals as you hand her the mug and wiggles happily in her seat. “Thanks mama.” she grins. You notice a new couple has come in and you hurry over to greet them, “Be good Lilly-pad.” you remind her. 

Loki is scrolling through photos of Thano’s destruction on other planets prior to what is being called The Decimation. Thanos was ruthless and Loki wishes he hadn’t fallen for the tyrants promises in his bid to take over Midgard. Loki is so deep in thought that he doesn’t hear the approaching pitter-patter of little feet. A small hand reaches out and pokes his arm, causing him to jump, startled. The child jumps too, sloshing a mug of something in her hand and making a small squeak sound. Loki had intended to tell the intruder off but as he looks down at her the words caught in his throat. She is a tiny, almost frail, little girl with long onyx hair and bright emerald eyes. It’s like another universe had opened up and spat out a child of his own creation. He has no words and finds himself just staring at her, inquisitively. 

“My mama gives me cocoa when I’m sad. Cocoa is good for sad. I brought you some.” Lilly tells him as matter of factly as a five year old can. 

Loki smirks despite himself, intuitive little Midgardian. “And why do you think I’m sad, little one?” he asks, genuinely curious. 

“You looked sad. I watched you for a while. I like your hair, it’s like mine.” 

Loki nods, “Indeed it is. And where is your mama?” He looks around, shocked anyone would just let their child take a beverage over to a stranger.

Lilly points over to you where you are taking two sodas to your new customers. 

Loki stares for a moment. He hadn’t really looked at you since he’d sat down and now he wishes he had. You don’t share your daughters features but he pauses for a moment to take you in. He couldn’t have picked you out of a line up before but now; now he is absolutely entranced. The tendrils of hair escaping your bun to float around your face, the way you smile wide and disarmingly with apparent ease, the rounded curves of your body beneath your pale blue work uniform. Shaking himself a little, he returns his focus to the child who is still holding out a mug in his direction. “Thank you, little one.” he says as graciously as he can while taking the cup from her small hands.

“My name’s Lilly.” she announces. 

Lilly hops up on the seat to the left of Loki and he is more amused than annoyed with his visitor. Children never took to him like they did to his brother. Back on Asgard Thor loved when the children visited the palace, he played with them endlessly as if he were a giant child himself. Which he sort of was, Loki muses. It wasn’t that Loki wasn’t fond of them, he just wasn’t as approachable as his oafish brother. This one though, this one looks at him like he’s her best friend. 

“Hello Lilly. My name is Loki.” He extends a hand which she shakes dutifully and he suppresses a chuckle. 

“Don’t you like cocoa?” She points to the cup he’d sat down on the counter in front of him. 

“I’ve never had it before. Shall I try it?” 

Lilly nods rapidly.

“Alright then, let’s see about this.” Loki eyes the cup as he brings it to his lips. It‘s blatantly some form of child’s beverage and he steels himself to politely pass it back to her after an obligatory sip. That is until the taste of sweet, creamy, chocolate hits his tongue. Loki’s eyes widen despite himself and his tentative sip becomes a long gulp. He would never admit to something so undignified but Loki has a serious sweet tooth, one he painstakingly ignores most of the time. Growing up, everyone thought it was only Thor based on the way he had sought out sweets at every opportunity but it was actually the pair of them. Loki just prefers to be a little more dignified about it. “This is perfect, little one. Thank you. Would you like the rest?” Loki wants to bolt down the rest of the drink but he reigns himself in as always.

Lilly shakes her head, “No, mama will make me a new one. That’s yours.” 

“Only if you are certain.” Loki takes another sip, feeling the sugar hit his empty stomach, and he represses a shudder of delight. 

“Yeah. It s’okay. Be right back Mr. Loki!” 

Loki watches, still amused, as she jumps down and runs off, pulling at her mother’s apron and whispering excitedly. 

Your daughter is normally pretty outgoing so it isn’t a surprise that she’s made a new “friend” while you work. Lilly rapidly tells you about her new friend who she got the cocoa for and now she needs a new one for herself. She points down the counter and you follow her finger to the dark haired man at the end. You’re stunned. One that she was so perceptive that something was upsetting him, and two that he had indulged her intrusion. You quickly make a new cup for Lilly and follow her down to the end of the counter. 

Loki takes the cocoa from Lilly’s hand, setting it down so she can scramble up onto the stool again. He notices you came down too and he worries for a moment that you are not comfortable with your daughter drinking cocoa with him. Parents are protective of their children and he respects that, but he also needs the momentary distraction as his brain fights to process everything he has learned in the past few hours. “She just came running up with the cocoa. I’ll pay for it, just add it to my check.” Loki tells you in a rush.

You lips quirk in a half smile at his earnestness. He doesn’t seem harmful, a little tired maybe, but no alarm bells are going off in your head. You’ll only be a few feet away at all times anyway. “I’m sure she did, she’s a rascal. If you’d rather get back to work though, she has plenty of coloring books she can go back to.” you offer.

“No, it’s fine. I needed a break.” He assures you. Now that the sugar is hitting his system Loki realizes he is ravenous. He turns to face Lilly who is licking the whipped cream off the top of her mug as it sits on the counter. “I should probably get something to eat though. Lilly, what’s the best thing on the menu?” 

Lilly squints, her little brow furrowing as she thinks. “Grilled cheese.” she finally announces.

“Well, that’s something else I’ve never tried. I’m going to trust you again, little one.” Loki turns back to you, “A grilled cheese. Please.” the ‘please’ is hastily added, like he isn’t used to pleasantries and you hold back a smile at the thought that he’d at least tried. 

“Never had cocoa or grilled cheese, huh? What planet did you grow up on?” you tease lightly as you write it down on your pad. 

Loki, who is already painfully pale, actually blanches a little. He regains his composure quickly, “Strict parents.” he mumbles and takes another sip of his cocoa. 

“My mom is strict too. She makes me go to bed at seven thirty.” Lilly interjects dramatically.

“What horrors.” Loki feigns shock, holding a hand to his chest, “You should at least be able to stay up until midnight by now.” 

Lilly giggles, “Mama, I like him.” 

You shake your head at both of their antics and head back to the kitchen to drop off his order. 

It turns out Loki is just as impressed with the grilled cheese as the cocoa. He’s starting to wonder what else he has missed out on Midgard. You linger longer and longer each trip down as the diner quiets for the evening. Lilly drags her coloring books over to show Loki her latest creations which he admires with all the seriousness of an art critic at The Met. He is so patient and kind, your heart aches a little watching them. 

Eventually Lilly’s little yawns became big ones and you know it’s time to get her settled on the makeshift cot in the back office to sleep until the end of your shift. 

“I’m fine mama.” She grumbles fiercely, overtired and not willing to leave her new friend. 

“Now Lilly, you need to listen to your mama. It’s far past seven thirty already.” Loki shoots you a sympathetic look. He had never tried using an authoritative voice on a child before and he hopes it was convincing. 

Lilly’s bottom lip quivers and for a moment, Loki is ready to say the hell with bedtimes. “But I go to sleep and never see you again. Ever.” 

“Perhaps not, little one. You never know. I like the cocoa here an awful lot. I might come back again.” 

“You come back tomorrow?” she looks up at him hopefully. 

Loki knows it’s stupid but he’s nodding before his brain can catch up. “Absolutely.” 

You scowl at him and he wonders what transgression he could have made. “Come on, Lilly-pad. Let’s go.” 

Lilly throws her arms around Loki and he gives her a soft pat on the back, unaccustomed to such affections. “Night Mr. Loki.” she says through a yawn as you usher her into the back. 

Loki is burying himself back into the files when you come back out. You stand, arms crossed, glaring daggers at him. He actually recoils in surprise when he sees you. 

You’re fine with him being sweet to your daughter, who couldn’t be when she gives you that wide smile of hers, but someone lying to your little girl just rubs you the wrong way. “You shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up like that.” you all but growl at him. Yes, you have a mama bear streak in you and you aren’t ashamed of it. 

“I beg your pardon?” Loki can’t understand why coming back is a bad thing when Lilly had looked at him with such innocent hopefulness. 

“She’s going to be expecting you tomorrow and when you don’t show I’m going to have to deal with the fall out. It was a dick move.” 

Loki’s eyebrows shoot up. He’s been called many things over the past fifteen hundred years, but never a dick. “Who says I won’t be here tomorrow?” he challenges. 

You roll your eyes blatantly at him. “Let’s see...” you begin. You’re exhausted and don’t give a shit about a big tip anymore. “You’re not a local, you’ve never had something as common as a grilled cheese or cocoa so clearly you don’t frequent diners, fancy accent, fancy clothes, fancy computer, all still indicating this isn’t your typical hang out place…” You are cut off by Loki’s deep, belly laugh which just makes you scowl harder.

“I’m sorry.” he desperately fights to compose himself. He hates that he’d lost his composure at all. “Sorry, really. I’m not used to that level of honesty. It was… fascinating.” 

You blush, realizing how far you had overstepped. He had spent most of the evening placating your daughter and had been nothing but friendly towards you since Lilly took him the cocoa. “No, I’m sorry. I get a little mama bear crazy about people lying to my kid. Her father…” you trail off, “Sorry, again. You don’t need to hear about that. I should be thanking you for keeping her occupied all night.” 

“It was no trouble.” Loki says quickly, “She’s charming, really. And I don’t know how much longer your shift is, but I have time to listen. It’s not like you’re packed in here.”

You look around, it’s down to just him and the other waitress is hanging out in the back with the cook. You sigh. He looks genuinely interested and sometimes it’s easier to talk to a complete stranger than your friends, even about the tough stuff. You start out slowly, the story of Max and how you’d come to be a single mom unfolding with practiced calmness. You keep your voice even, refusing to let it come out as a sob story. 

Loki listens attentively, his hands steepled under his chin as he leans forward on the counter. He can feel the tension radiating from you and he admires how controlled you keep yourself despite how horrible what you’d gone through was. 

“So,” you conclude, “that’s why I had a problem with you promising to come back tomorrow.” 

Loki nods sagely. “I feel like ‘sorry’ would be a little trite. But please know that it is my desperate hope that this Max fellow meets a very unpleasant end. Sooner, rather than later.” 

The way he says it with a mischievous smirk makes your stomach flip. “You and I both.” 

“You’re wrong about tomorrow though.” he adds, the smirk still in place. 

“Oh really?” you push, leaning across the counter towards him.

 “Yes, really. I do not break my word. I promised I would be back tomorrow and I will be. Right here.”

“Why?” the word is out of your mouth before you can stop it.

Loki’s smirk widens to an almost grin. He’s enjoying your company more than he’d like to admit. You aren’t afraid of him, you have a backbone to you, your bottom lip is distractingly full, and you make him think of his favorite statue in his mother’s garden growing up. He’d spent a lot of time as a boy staring at that statue and you are the living embodiment of it. It took him a moment to make the connection but once he did, it was all he could see. He remembers that you’d asked him a question and forces himself to answer, “As I said, I do not break my word.” 

“That easy, huh? You don’t have anywhere better to be tomorrow than coming back here? You don’t even know what time my shift is.” 

“I’m going to be staying around here, I know the food is palatable, and there’s free WiFi. Though the service is a little cheeky.” 

You laugh, “Cheeky? That’s a new one.” 

“Oh, I can think of all sorts of adjectives if you’d like to hear them.” Loki’s tone is bordering on predatory, thrumming with an undercurrent of dark, salacious promises. 

Your pulse quickens and Loki doesn’t miss the way your pupils dilate and your breathing hitches for a moment. You swallow your nerves down and square your shoulders, forcing yourself to not get swept up in where the conversation is threatening to go. “So you’re staying around here?” you ask, regaining your balance. 

Loki looks almost disappointed but he pulls himself upright, no longer leaning over the counter, and smoothes his t-shirt. “I don’t know just yet. I figured I would check online to see what was around that I could afford.” 

“There’s a new boutique hotel about four blocks over. It’s a little hipster-ish but I’ve heard good things.” 

“I just need a bed at this point. I’ll worry about something more suitable tomorrow.” 

“Then head out to the right, go left at the intersection and then down three blocks. It’ll be on your right, The Hideaway.” 

“The Hideaway. Got it.” 

“You ready for your check, then?” you’re a little disappointed he’s leaving but it’s lessened knowing he’ll be back tomorrow. 

“How much later is your shift?”

“Another hour but-”

“I have an hour to kill.” Loki’s smirk returns and damned if it doesn’t do things to your insides. 

Your lips curl up with a smirk of your own and you shake your head at him. He is certainly a charmer. The conversation flows easily and despite your best efforts to learn more about him, he consistently turns the conversation back on you. You’re floored when the other waitress comes in for her shift announcing you’re free to go. 

Loki frowns at the intrusion of the other waitress. “I guess I’ll be going as well.” he says packing up his laptop. 

You hand him his bill from the pad in your pocket and he flips down a twenty without looking at it. 

The bill was barely over $6. 

“Let me get your change.” you go to head down to the cash register but his hand slips over yours, stopping your movement.

“No need. Keep it. A thank you for making this night a little less lonely.” Loki releases your hand, trying to reign himself in. He picks up the laptop and is heading out when he hears you call after him.

“I have the dinner shift tomorrow.” you call out, realizing you had forgotten to tell him.

“What time?”

“Three to eleven.”

“I’ll be here.” he promises. 

Your smile is wide enough that the other waitress, Mara notices, “Who was that?” she teases you lightly.

“Just some guy. New to the neighborhood.” you play it off as casually as you can.

“Yeah, sure. And that’s why you two were making eyes at each other.”

You snort at her comment, “You’re delusional. I don’t date, Mara.” 

“Who said anything about dating? He’s gorgeous and clearly wants to see you again.”

“Nope! Not having this discussion. I have a five year to get home.”

“Fine, good night.”

“Night.” you head back to collect Lilly who is sleeping heavily on the cot in the office. You’re thankful she’s a sound sleeper as you pick her up and head down the two blocks to your little third floor walk up. After you settle your sleeping daughter in to her own bed you make yourself a cup of tea and collapse onto your sofa. You try to focus on the show you put on but your mind keeps wandering back to Loki, wondering if he found the hotel easily and if was settling in okay. 

A few blocks away Loki has found the hotel and is getting checked in to his room. He materializes a Midgardian drivers license, falling back on an old alias and paying cash despite their supposed credit card policy. It’s amazing what flashing around several large bills can do. Loki scans the room and finds it to be clean but very small. He misses the palace he grew up in for a moment but reminds himself Asgard is no more and he is just lucky to be alive in this world. He lets out a bitter chuckle as he sits down on the edge of the bed, with no one around to put on airs for he finds no need for the grandeur he usually surrounds himself with. 

Loki tries to get comfortable on the overly stuffed mattress but tosses around futilely. It isn’t the mattress, it’s the spinning of his own mind. He’s still coming to grips with the world he has found himself in. The memory of the way your eyes flashed when you were chastising him earlier in the evening keeps fluttering across his mind. It’s quickly accompanied by the feel of your soft skin beneath his fingers and the sound of your voice. Loki knows better than to make any acquaintances until he figures out his next moves. He promises himself tomorrow he will make plans and stop in to the diner to visit and say goodbye properly. Loki finally gives up on sleep, materializing a book to read until exhaustion finally wins out. 

Part Three

The next morning Loki wakes late, it’s almost noon by the time he’s heading out from the hotel. He materializes new clothes for himself and goes to a nextdoor coffee shop for something to help wake himself up. The shop is busy, people bustling around, many of them crying or holding on to each other. Loki can sense something is off with what should be a normal weekday morning. He looks at the flat screen TV in the corner where people are crowded around watching the news broadcast. There are images of people spontaneously appearing all around the world and flashes of pictures of the Avengers, including his brother. Loki watches along with the crowd as the anchorman explains what is being called The Blip. Thor and his friends had done it. They had managed to undo the horror that Thanos had inflicted upon the universe and from what the news is saying they are reporting no casualties at this time. Loki feels a swell of pride for his brother, the golden god had triumphed again in the end. He knows he will have to pop back to the Avengers compound and visit Thor eventually, just to let him know he’s alive in this world. It would be unfair to keep it from him. Loki wants to give him a few days to settle things after their victory and then he will go to him. He has enough money to keep himself afloat for a week or so and doesn’t want to intrude on the celebration surely going on back at the compound. Loki takes his cup of coffee to go and wanders until he finds a community garden where he can sit undisturbed to plan his next moves. 

The morning of The Blip has been rough on you. Lilly woke up with more energy than ever, making plans to introduce Loki to mac n cheese and begging for new crayons so she could make him the “best drawing ever”. You promise to bring all of her art supplies with you to the diner later and distract her with scrambled eggs and cinnamon toast for now. You’re already exhausted when you sit down to watch the news with your coffee. The news is all covering The Blip and you watch, stunned, as people are reunited with their loved ones. You’re glad for them but you still have to turn it off after a few minutes so you won’t start screaming. Damn Max and what he’d done to you. While it’s the most amazing gift that everyone is back, it pulls at the old scars on your heart made by Max’s abandonment and deception. 

You pull Lilly aside before school to explain what has happened. You don’t want her being confused with everyone talking about it in her class. She has lots of questions and you answer what you can despite how it taxes you emotionally. 

The morning flies by as you busy yourself with chores and studiously avoiding the news. You’re on your third cup of coffee by the time you pick Lilly up on your way in for your shift at the diner and it’s helping a little. Lilly chatters endlessly along the way about The Blip and it grates on your already frayed nerves but you give her the expected sounds of acknowledgement. The diner is packed full of people, it appears no one is willing to cook on such a monumental day. Lilly settles in easily to do her flashcards and pulls out her newest library book. It’s a simple one, more pictures than words, but her reading skills are improving every day. 

Every time the doorbell chimes your eyes snap over to the entrance. You, mostly, trust that Loki will show and are looking forward to seeing him again. Though for all you know he’s off reuniting with family, or maybe even a girlfriend or wife. You frown at the thought. It’s only five minutes but it feels like ages when the doorbell chimes and Loki strides in. He’s wearing similar clothes to the day before but has added a leather jacket to the outfit and his hair is falling freely against his shoulders. Your brain fails you for a moment and you blush as you ask the woman you’re waiting on to please repeat her order. Your eyes follow Loki as he takes his seat at the very end of the counter and sets up his laptop, just as he’d done the day before. You hurry to collect drinks and another persons order so that you can make your way down to visit him. 

Loki is no closer to a plan when he walks into the diner than he’d been that morning. It’s frustrating and he feels like he’s crawling out of his own skin at times. Ever logical, Loki has made several lists of where he could go after visiting with his brother but none are very appealing. He has no home to return to and since New Asgard is apparently thriving under the eye of Valkyrie he sees no reason to head there and disturb the peace. Besides, he lost his taste for a throne after the New York incident. He considers traveling the galaxy, doing some exploring for a bit. He’s always loved that, but now some emotion pangs in his chest at the thought, one he won’t put a name to but feels regardless. Loki knows he has no marketable skills, not that he even wants a job, but he will need something to fill his days. He settles into his spot at the counter, scrolling through some inane blog about the places to see while in the city and trying to come up with at the very least a plan for the following day. 

You’re finally able to swing down to the end of the counter to Loki and you assess his intent gaze and half frown before speaking. “Is it going to be another hot cocoa day?” you ask sympathetically. 

Loki’s frown disappears at the sound of you voice. “I think it is.” he agrees.

“Lilly is going to be ecstatic when she sees you. Do you have work to do? Or can I send her down once she’s done her homework?”

“No, not working at the moment. I’m… taking some time off.” 

“Luck you.” you try to keep the bite out of your tone and hope he doesn’t take offense.

“Not having anything to do is great in theory but I’m finding that in practice… not so much.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep your next comment to yourself. There is no way you are going to pity the poor, sad, rich guy who doesn’t need to work and doesn’t know what to do with his time. You give him a shrug and head off to get his drink.

“There’s always volunteering.” you suggest as you hand Loki his hot cocoa. 

“Ah yes, working but not being paid for it. I’m not exactly skilled in anything to help though.” Loki explains. 

You suppress the eye roll you so desperately want to give him. His comment solidifies in your mind that he must be some type of rich model. “You don’t need skills to volunteer at most places. You could help around an animal shelter, keep people company at a nursing home, stock shelves at the library, all sorts of things.” 

Loki makes a small humph sound but seems to be considering it. 

“Lilly will be done her reading soon and she’ll be down afterwards. If you want anything to eat just wave me down.” 

Loki nods as he sips his drink and you slip away before he can respond. 

It’s twenty minutes later when Loki sees a flash of pink out of the corner of his eye. Lilly is running full speed down the aisle towards him, hands full of papers. “Mr. Loki you came back.” she beams as she climbs up on the stool next to him. 

“I promised I would. What do you have there?” he asks, pointing to her collection of papers.

Lilly spreads them out on the counter and starts showing off her favorites, of which there are six, and the other three that are “just okay” by her standards. Loki smiles and nods along, letting himself be swept away by her enthusiasm. After a depressing day, lost in the bleakness of his uncertain future, this is exactly what he needs. 

“This is us.” Lilly points at the last page in her collection.

“I don’t think we have tails.” Loki jokes.

Lilly shakes her head, causing her hair to bounce around wildly. “Nooo!” she squeals between giggles. “It’s kitty us. Kitties with cocoa.” 

“Well that makes much more sense.”

The rest of the afternoon passes by with Lilly drawing happily next to Loki while he researches the New York Public Library. The library had been on the list of places to visit and after your suggestion of volunteering Loki is toying around with the idea. He certainly loved the libraries back on Asgard and the one in New York is stunning. He can almost see himself spending his days there, though dealing with the public leaves something to be desired. Loki shakes his head at himself. Is he really considering staying in New York? One look next to him and then down to you at the other end of the diner solidifies the yes echoing in his mind. He’s too intrigued to leave just yet. Loki wants to get to know you better and he can’t imagine breaking Lilly’s heart and just disappearing. He has centuries before him and he can certainly afford to spend a little time on Midgard before moving on to more worthy endeavours. 

Lilly somehow convinces Loki to order mac n cheese with her for dinner. You aren’t surprised he’s never tried that before either and you bring them two heaping plates. It’s a little odd that he’s missed out on so many standard comfort foods but chalk it up to his “strict parents” comment and the fact that he has to have been model. 

You finally ask him about it after depositing a half asleep Lilly onto her cot in the back for the night. It’s seven o’clock on the dot and Lilly didn’t even fight you on it. “So, what kind of model were you?” you ask, certain of your guess.

You might as well have asked if he used to have six heads. “I beg your pardon?”

Uncertainty starts seeping in, “You used to be a model? Right?”

Loki chuckles, “No, I’ve never modeled. What gave you that indication?”

“Fancy clothes, not needing to work, not having tried the most basic comfort foods, and you know… you know what you look like.” 

Loki laughs again. “You keep making the most fantastical assumptions about me. I quite enjoy it. But you are mistaken once again.” 

“So, what did you do then?” your cheeks are stained pink with the slightest blush and you can tell Loki is enjoying flustering you. 

Loki is hesitant to jog your memory since you clearly haven’t put the pieces together to realize who he is. But if he is going to actually try and stay in New York he needs to be honest. The irony is not lost on him. The trickster, the god of lies, finally desiring to be honest with someone even when it will likely end badly for him. Loki steels himself for your anger and chooses his words carefully, “My family is royalty so I haven’t needed to work. I traveled for a bit in my younger years. Got into a lot of trouble along the way.” 

You have a sinking feeling in your stomach. He’s holding something back, you’re sure. The uneasiness is rolling off him like waves and you’re afraid that whatever he’s holding back is going to end whatever is starting between you. “What kind of trouble, Loki?” 

“The worst kind, I’m afraid. I was here in New York eleven years ago. I’d gotten involved with the wrong people and couldn’t get out until it was too late. It almost destroyed the city.” 

It’s like the floor has dropped out from under your feet. You brace a hand against the counter, steadying yourself. “Loki.” you breathe his name quietly. 

Loki swallows hard as recognition floods your face. 

“You were in league with Thanos. They said you were a monster.” the name Thanos spits out of your mouth like a curse.

“He fooled even me. I was blinded by my own desire for power and my hatred for Odin at the time. There’s no atonement for what I did.” Your horrified expression makes Loki cringe, “I’ll… I’ll leave now. I’m sorry to have… I’m sorry.” Loki pulls out a large bill from his pocket and collects his laptop and jacket. He’s moving away from the counter when you find your voice. 

“No wait.” You call a little too loudly. Thankfully the diner has quieted down for the night. 

Loki spins around, surprised. 

“You’re not him.” 

Loki furrows his brow and comes back to his spot at the counter. He keeps his distance, wary like a caged animal, his voice low and steady. “I assure you, I am.”

You shake your head, “You're not, though. The man who’s sat here the past two days is not the same one who invaded eleven years ago. People change.”

“People died because of me.”

“Would you do it again? If you had the chance now, would you try it?” 

“No, of course not.” He tries to say more but you cut him off. 

“There you go then. People change. I’m certainly not the same person I was back then. Let’s just get to know each other as we are now.” 

Loki is speechless. He expected fear, disgust, hatred maybe, but certainly not this. 

You check the time on the wall, “I have a few more hours left in my shift, you don’t have to stay all night again but I like your company.”

“I am quite fond of yours as well.” Loki manages. His voice is uncharacteristically soft and you give him one of your wide, genuine smiles in return. 

You have no other customers at the moment so you lean against the counter and settle in. “So,” you begin, trying to divert the conversation to safer ground, “How many pictures were Lilly’s ‘favorite’ this time?” 

Loki chuckles and just like that the tension dissipates.

Part Four

Loki spends every night that week hanging out during your shifts at the diner. The other waitresses have begun to tease you a little about him but you don’t feed into it. The routine is always the same. Loki comes in shortly after your shift, starts drinking cocoa or coffee, and orders whatever meal it’s time for when he gets hungry. You spend the quiet moments down at the end of the counter getting to know the real him. It's hard to compare the man you’ve quickly become attached to with the one who attacked New York all those years ago and you feel secure in your decision to look beyond his past. 

With a little help, Loki gets a volunteer position at the New York Library and a tiny month by month rental apartment down the street. It’s not much but it’s furnished and he’s happy to have something of his own. He’s moving in next week and has his first library shift a few days later. He knows money is going to be an issue before long and resolves to go see Thor once he’s moved in. Hopefully there is some family loyalty left in his brother and he sees fit to grant Loki access to a little of the family money to get him by while he stays in New York. Though getting Thor to believe his plan is genuine will take some effort. 

Monday is your first day off in ten days and as much as Loki insists he’s fine moving on his own you feel a little guilty you’re not there to help. He claims there’s nothing really to move but you at least could have helped with shopping or something. The day crawls by despite how much you are able to catch up on while Lilly’s at school and by the time you’re tucking her in you’re yawning hard. You’ve just crawled into your own bed when your phone chimes. 

Loki: All moved in! 

The text is accompanied by a picture of a posh looking living room decorated in shades of white, cream, and tan. You hadn’t expected to hear from him but you’re glad he reached out. It was a little odd not talking to him all day. You had given him your phone number the night before just in case he changed his mind and needed your help. Part of you had hoped he would text or call regardless. 

You: Great! How does it feel?

You watch as the little typing dots blink almost immediately after your text.

Loki: It’s interesting. Quiet. Tell Lilly I need one of her pictures for my fridge. 

You smile as you type.

You: Quiet is good! I’ll tell her tomorrow. Good luck prying one away from her though. 

Loki starts and stops typing a few times. 

Loki: Can I call? 

You: Yeah. 

Your phone lights up a moment later.

“Hey you. Too quiet over there?” You say putting the phone on speaker so you don’t have to hold against your ear awkwardly in bed.

Loki sighs heavily, “Yes, a bit. I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“Nope. Lilly is in bed already and I had no plans.” 

“Good. Good.”

“Did you need something?”

“No. Yes. I.. ah… I got a little wrapped up in my own head and needed to hear your voice.”

His honesty is disarming. “Oh.” 

“Sorry, that was a little blunt wasn’t it?”

“No, it’s okay. It felt a little weird not talking to you all day. So what has you all wrapped up in your head?” 

“I’m going to visit my brother tomorrow.”

“Thor?”

“Yes, the one and only. He doesn’t know I’m alive and I owe him that courtesy.” 

“Shouldn’t you be happy about that? He’ll be so glad to see you, I’m sure.”

“My relationship with Thor is… complicated. And I don’t know how it’s going to go. I keep thinking of all the millions of ways it can go wrong. I’ve played dead before, intentionally, so I doubt he’ll believe it wasn’t intentional this time. And there’s the whole ‘I’m still a wanted man’ thing. He’ll likely turn me out on my ass. But if he does that I won’t have enough money forever. Maybe another month or two but then what do I do?”

Loki rambles frantically and you can hear the strain of anxiety running high in his tone. 

“Loki! Hey!” You cut him off. “Take a breath.” You wait a moment and he doesn’t respond. “Do you want to come over?” It’s a bold offer but he sounds so distressed and you’re not tired anymore. 

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“I have cocoa. And it’s better than the kind at the diner.” 

You can hear his shaky exhale that’s almost a laugh. “Text me your address. I’m putting my jacket on now.” 

“See you in a bit.” You hang up and pull yourself from your warm comforters to go heat the milk for cocoa.

Loki arrives barely ten minutes later and you welcome him to your little home. He looks around, taking in the sight of your living room and then your kitchen. You’re stirring the cocoa mix into the pan and he doesn’t try to make conversation, just content to watch you work and admiring how cozy your home seems to him. It’s warm and inviting, lived in looking without being overly messy. 

“You’re catching me on a good day.” You tell him as you pour the cocoa into two large mugs. He’s obviously looking around and you’re glad you spent most of the day on chores. “If you’d been here this morning you’d’ve seen a mountain of laundry and about fifty of Lilly’s drawings scattered around.” 

Loki shrugs before accepting the mug from you. “I’m not judging. Thank you for letting me come over. Things just snuck up on me today and it was a little much. You didn’t have to invite me over to your home like this.” 

“I know I didn’t, but I wanted to. Why don’t we head out to sit on the fire escape? I have a set of chairs out there and we won’t risk waking Lilly.” 

Loki nods and you lead him outside where you set up two lawn chairs for you to sit in. He scoots his chair next to yours and looks up at the sky wistfully.

“Not the view you’re used to, huh?” You ask.

He shakes his head, “No, not at all. But more stars than I would expect here.” 

“Tell me about Asgard.” 

“You really want to know?” His tone is skeptical. Loki fears talking about his past will remind you of his mistakes and have you giving him the boot. After an afternoon and evening beating himself up about his wrong doings and worrying about his reunion with Thor he needs a little peace and you’re the only one who can give that to him at the moment. 

“That’s why I asked. Tell me. Anything. Everything.” 

“Well, we certainly had more stars.” He begins. 

You wrap your sweater around your shoulders, protecting yourself from the chill in the autumn air. Your cocoa is warming your hands and you lean unintentionally against Loki’s shoulder listening to him describe his home world to you. His voice is rich and smooth like high quality chocolate and you are lost in it. He relaxes the longer he speaks and you’re thankful he seems to be unwinding a bit. Hours later you put your empty mug down and Loki’s hand finds its way into yours. Your twine your fingers between his and smile over at him, the contact making you giddy like a teenager with your first real crush. He carries on, describing the difference between the ocean on Earth and the seas of Asgard. 

Eventually it’s too cold to stay outside and you climb back into your apartment but Loki’s heel catches on the window ledge and he tumbles inside with a thud. You shush him and break into a fit of giggles. He’s so awkward looking splayed out on your living room floor and it’s hard to believe this man is royalty, and a god even. Loki brushes himself off and whispers sorry but it’s too late. You can hear tiny feet padding down the hall. 

“Mama?” Lilly says sleepily. 

“It’s okay, Lilly-pad. Go back to bed.” You assure her but she’s on the move and staring at Loki who is smiling sheepishly down at her. 

“Mr. Loki?” She mumbles.

“He came over for cocoa, sweetheart. You just go back to bed. You’ll see him again soon.” 

Lilly makes a disgruntled sound and throws herself at his legs in a sleepy hug.

“Goodnight, Lilly.” He says ruffling her hair. 

“Night Mr. Loki.” She pulls herself away and heads back down to her room. You hear to door latch and nod to yourself, knowing she’ll be back to sleep in seconds. Loki follows you to the kitchen to place your mugs in the sink. He’s standing closer than he meant to and when you spin around it’s right into his chest. You let out a stifled squeak of surprise and he braces his hands on your shoulders to steady you. You’re both breathing heavily, conscious of the feel of your bodies pressed against one another’s. 

Loki is trying to avoid staring at the rise and fall of your chest and the way your pupils are blown wide looking at him. It’s surprise but also, possibly, desire? Your body is so soft against his and he wants to be selfish and explore the curves you’re hiding underneath that bulky sweater. He moves one hand down to the curve of your waist and your breathing becomes more erratic. Tentatively he slides his other hand up to cup your cheek. He’s overstepping his bounds, he’s sure, but he can't quite stop himself. 

You’re trembling as he runs his thumb along the side of your cheek. His whole body is tense and humming against yours and it’s driving you mad. He seemed as surprised as you were when you had turned into him but now that the contact is made, neither one of you seem able to break it. You want him; want to pull him against you and work your way up the lithe muscles of his chest, to explore the broad expanse of his shoulders. He’s complicated, and his past is even more so, but you’re too far gone at this point to care. You press your cheek against his hand, your lips parted and you lock your gaze to his. 

Loki’s breathing falters when you stare into his eyes. He’ll hate himself tomorrow for being a greedy bastard if he’s wrong but the way your bottom lip drops down looking good enough to bite overrides his common sense. He moves his head closer, angling it slightly so you can’t mistake his intention, and pauses to give you a chance to back out. You nod almost imperceptibly, frozen in place, desperate for him to make his move. It’s enough though and he dives in, crushing his lips fiercely against yours. 

You dig your fingers into his sides, anchoring yourself against him as he presses a torrent of kisses to your lips. Loki meant to gentle, he really did, but the second he felt your soft, plush lips against his he was lost. You taste like hot cocoa, sweet and rich, with the unmistakable taste of you lingering underneath. A breathy moan leaves your lips and he groans, pained by his rampant desire. He won’t take you tonight, as much as he wants to. Lilly is home and he doubts you’d let it go so far, so fast anyway. Loki is forcing his hands to stay over your sweater and you’re doing your best to keep yours in place instead of exploring his body like you want to. When he finally pulls back and you stumble apart, gasping for air, you are both grinning like fools.

“That was….” he falters for words.

“Yeah” you gasp out. 

“Wow.”

“Definitely wow.” 

You both laugh at the state of yourselves and you move back against him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You fit perfectly in his arms and he’s able to rest his chin on the top of your head when you press it against his chest. He pulls you close and breathes in the sweet, floral scent of you. “I should be going. It’s late and you have to get Lilly to school in the morning” he says with a frown.

“I know.” You agree with a frown of your own,  “I’m working the late shift tomorrow if you get back in time to visit.”

“I don’t know how it’s going to go. I’ll text you though. And I’ll be by Wednesday after my first library shift. When’s your next day off?”

“Saturday.”

“Don’t make any plans, okay?”

“Making plans for me?”

“Well, you and Lilly. If you’re okay with that.” 

Your heart melts at his inclusion of Lilly. He’s so good to her, to both of you really. “Sounds perfect.” You pull away and reluctantly follow Loki to the door.

“Thank you, again, for letting me come over.” He says standing in your doorway. 

“Of course. I’m always here if you have a random need for cocoa.” 

Loki chuckles, “Yes, there’s something magical about your cocoa. It seems to fix just about anything.”

“Mmm, it does.” You agree with a smirk. “Good night, Loki.” You lean in for one last brief kiss and you pause as you pull back to study his expression. Loki’s eyes are brimming with emotion and you can feel your cheeks heating.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He says softly before he turns and heads down the stairs. 

You watch him go until he’s out of sight and then close your door, resting against it from the inside. This thing with Loki is still so new and uncertain but it feels so right. You whisper a quiet thank you to the universe, for bringing Loki into the diner and also for the magical, healing powers of hot cocoa. 

The End

[elizas-writing]

How I Would Fix Steven Universe: Beginning the Fifth Season (1/2)

Jesus Christ on a cracker, this show can’t decide if it wants stakes.

So I put off seeing the episodes from Dewey Wins to Kevin Party mostly because I was swamped with school at the time and also because from what I could pick up from the rest of Tumblr, nothing much of interest happened that I needed to see them immediately. And boy, did I underestimate how absolutely pointless and annoying these episodes were. This is right up there with Lion 4 Alternate Ending as what I think are some of the worst episodes of the show. And of course it doesn’t help that this is coming off some major plot episodes which sadly were not as well polished as they should be. And then after these five, we have the Stranded special which felt like it was getting the plot going again but also introduced some confusing things.

So, let’s go back to the drawing board and fix up season five, shall we? I’m expecting this to be a bit of a long one, so let’s start off with The Trial arc.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’d change up the fight with Aquamarine and Topaz to include Lapis Lazuli and Peridot in the major climatic fight. Originally I considered cutting The Trial entirely and just ending the conflict right then and there, but after mulling it over, I think there’s still potential to explore if worked correctly. Just needs way less Steven guilt-tripping himself into taking responsibility for his mother’s actions. And I’d have Aquamarine and Topaz realizing who Steven is during the fight when they recognize his powers which only a Rose Quartz would have as well as Rose’s sword.

So, just when it seems Lapis and Peridot have the upper hand, Aquamarine and Topaz make a fast escape, but not without going empty-handed. Wouldn’t you know it? It happens to be Steven, clinging on to his loved ones for dear life before the beam taking him yanks him away, and the ship takes off on light speed to Homeworld.

I still really liked what they did with Topaz (because soft butches are everything), but let’s put her on the backburner for now and go right into The Trial. It more or less plays out the same, but I’ll cut Steven’s whole “I am my mom” bullshit since it wouldn’t apply after my fix it to Lion 4 Alternate Ending. However, knowing that the Diamonds can and will do anything to him, he’s still on guard and scared for his life, trying to think of some way out of this. Blue’s sniveling is dropped to reveal a furious dictator ready to exact her revenge. The actual “trial” is more of a cruel show for formalities with everything set up against Steven and capital punishment inevitable regardless of what the Zircons say. All the while, Steven is absorbing the Homeworld’s perspective on what happened to Pink, trying to think of a clever way out, especially since if he reveals too much from his mother’s latest video, it’s instant death. Perhaps he would only reveal so much to Blue Zircon which would lead her to her own conclusions, prompting immediate regret when she and the other Zircon are poofed by Yellow Diamond.

I couldn’t really get into the idea that one of the Diamonds might have shattered Pink instead, but after Jungle Moon, it was fascinating to see the imbalanced power dynamic of the Diamond Authority right from the get-go. I wouldn’t end up with one of the Diamonds killing Pink because it’s such a cop out on how much Rose’s gray morality was built up, but it wouldn’t surprise me if at least one of them intended to keep her out of the picture as long as possible, even if they didn’t anticipate her death. Just let her colonize a planet and take out her wrath as long as she needs until there is something of use which definitely explain some of the odd circumstances around her shattering and why they didn’t see a rebellion coming.

Anyway, after the Zircons are poofed, Steven rushes for their gems as fast as he can before fighting off the Diamonds and making his escape. He has no idea where he is or where to go; just run like hell. We’d meet the Off Colors, give them way more personality, and dive more into Homeworld’s obsession with perfection. Perhaps the Rutile twins are out of sync with each other and constantly struggle to work together. Padparadscha feels self-conscious on her delayed predictions (”Oh no, did I miss it again?”), but they come of use when learning of Steven, and she can possibly dive further back into the past. We’d explore more of Fluorite and Rhodonite and fusions, and a quick dive into how Garnet’s fusion affected the rest of Homeworld. All the while Steven knows he can’t leave them to suffer any longer under the Diamonds. It takes some persuasion, but they eventually start concocting a plan to escape Homeworld.

This part would be a massive rearrangement of episode placement as the gap between Lars’ Head and Lars of the Stars really disrupts the pacing. And as fun as the Stranded special was, it felt like way too much happened off screen which would have been so much better to see than Steven being an obvious fuck up.

Moving on, the Zircons reform and are of course panicked on where the hell they are and what the consequences will be of Steven running away. Steven is only able to persuade Blue Zircon to come while Yellow Zircon stays behind, still believing she won her case and surely her Diamond would be merciful on her colleague’s ridiculous analysis. Knowing time is short and he can’t force everyone to change, the new team hurries off through the chasms of Homeworld to find an escape route. They come across Emerald’s ship which docked after a recent planet acquisition. It’s the biggest one they can find which can fit them all and take them to Earth. But just as they’re about to come up with a plan, Topaz finds them and is ready to alert other guards until she sees Rhodonite and Fluorite and wonders what in the hell these fusions are doing. She takes it upon herself to rid of such imperfect fusions, but something inside her knows what their love is and how it reflects her internalized feelings about fusion, prompting her to break down. Rhodonite and Fluorite consolidate Topaz with promises that maybe she can have a more free life on Earth.

But just as Topaz joins, the team is ambushed by guards led by Aquamarine. Few of the Off Colors have experience in combat, and are, of course, scared shitless. Then, Fluorite breaks down to her six individual gems (I could not even begin to tell you who they would be, cause I haven’t thought that far into fan theories) who fight off the guards and Aquamarine, giving the rest enough time to get on the ship and prepare for take off. Insert a fun action scene with Steven working off new gems, Topaz taking a stand and poofing Aquamarine (cause god damn, is she annoying), and a rush onto the ship with a course set for Earth.

The next episode will be in a similar vein of Lars of the Stars with just pure space battle action against the intimidating Emerald. Padparadscha keeps up on planets and systems they just pass, the Rutile twins focus on working together, Fluorite’s components are making sure the ship runs, etc etc. It’s just grand teamwork of these gems’ first instance of rebellion and running like hell from authority.

I’d also keep in the episode Jungle Moon, but the whole team crashes (because shit happens when a recently docked ship wasn’t given updates... and gas). And they spend a couple days surviving in the wild of an abandoned Homeworld colony and fixing up the ship. More questions burn from Steven which the rest o the gems are happy to oblige, especially as his dreams get weirder and he sees the seeds which would create a tyrannical Pink Diamond. Why Earth? Why a Human Zoo? How many more planets were wasted away for space colonization? In return, Steven tells the Off Colors and Homeworld gems as much as he can about Earth and the Crystal Gems. The homesickness starts kicking in and dammit, he just wants to be home because he misses everyone.

Once the ship is repaired, the team is back on course for Earth but not without Emerald back on their tail, resulting them being forced to light speed away and crash yet again. But this time they finally made their destination: Earth. As fate would have it, the Crystal Gems are on the scene thanks to Garnet’s future vision, leading up to a tearful reunion.

And the rest is to be continued in part two!

[species-swap]

You thought you were finally going to see what the rest of the crew was up to, didn’t you? Wanted to get in on some sweet ship shenanigans? (Not that kind of ship. Well, maybe some of that kind of ship? Who knows! Not you, since you’re not seeing into that window.)

That’s just too bad. Kind of a shame, really, considering how much time you’ve put into reading this thing. But the author got bored, so I guess that’s it. Them’s the breaks! Time to put aside this au, and get back to waiting for Hiveswap to come out.

...Oh, alright. A quick recap for the road.

Species Swap began on November 19th, 2013, the birthday of no one in particular. One day prior, a Cascade of events occurred, culminating in a group of humans and trolls blasting off on a meteor that would soon pass through dream bubbles containing relatives of the trolls, later named “dancestors”.

While the beta trolls took this time to meet their dancestors (and the humans got to know trolls from both sides of the dancestry), a fuschiablood named Roxy was also just exploring the dreambubbles for the first time. We learned through her conversation with John that the beta trolls lived under the tyrannical rule of the Empress, a fuschiablood who made life difficult for mutantblood Dave, fuschiablood Rose, and limeblood Jade. While they had lusii thanks to the actions of their rebel ancestors, they were forced to live in secret, hide their blood colour, and in Rose’s case, surgically remove her fins. John, as an indigoblood, was safe.

John talked to Kanaya and Sollux briefly, who mentioned having seen one of the dead humans wandering the dream bubbles. Meanwhile, Roxy talked to Dave, further alluding to her ancestor’s role in her homeworld. She also mentioned the cherub she was looking for, whose role is exactly the same in this au for reasons that are mainly a lack of foresight and imagination.

Rose and Dirk met, and we learned that Rose’s alternate self served as a benevolent ruler to the alphas, letting mutantbloods Dirk and Jane walk freely, as well as Roxy despite her fuschiablood status and competition for the throne. In addition, hereditary symbols were mainly... symbolic, and many trolls picked something different for every day clothing.

Dirk also explained how Roxy’s alternate self, the Sufferer, came to be discovered as a grub by rebel trolls (as well as Jane’s alternate self, later known as the Picaroon, a rebel privateer who brought many of the Empress’s allies to ruin). The Sufferer began to remember her past life, and spread a message of hope for a world free of the Empress’s tyranny. She made her presence known by way of a symbol drawn in the dirt, which would become a symbol of the resistance after her death, and Rose’s symbol.

Dirk didn’t explain his alternate self’s role, but we’re going to mention that anyway: The Summoner was born hundreds of sweeps later, around the same time as Jake’s alternate self, later known as the Champion. These two were figureheads in the rebellion, the Champion leading the battle, with the Summoner and his army of psychically controlled lusii at his side. The rebellion was, of course, crushed, the Summoner’s powers turned against them by way of cerulean manipulation, forcing the Champion to kill his former lover.

And then the Empress exiled all adult trolls to space yadda yadda you get the picture. Anyway.

Roxy found a door, had a somewhat meta conversation with Dave, who let her in through said door. Roxy found her shellphone, and we learned that her friend Jane was thoroughly sick and tired of Dirk and Jake’s drama. Probably fed up enough to agree to a certain human’s reckless plans...

Roxy encountered Jake and his travelling Adventure Trophy stand. (It had probably gotten a lot of mileage due to Jake’s efforts to avoid Dirk. Jake. Talk to him. Use your words.)

We took a break from following Roxy to check up on the yellow ship! Wait, no we didn’t. Oh well, not that much happened, really. Jade, Karkat, and Aradiabot were stuck on a ship with a bunch of consorts... kind of a ridiculous number of consorts, really. That’s enough consorts to fill 12 planets. Far too many.

Also later Jade and Karkat dated for a bit? Then they broke up. Sure is awkward being stuck on a ship with just your ex, a robot, and a shitton of consorts. Consort is starting to not look like a word anymore. Consort, consort, consort.... (Don’t worry too much, they make up later. Eventually.)

Back to Openbound. Hussie bribed Dave with Mindfang’s Journal to let him steal Roxy’s lusus, despite Mindfang not being a character in this au and Hussie not being the author of this story. Oh and John made a bad joke.

Is that about it?

I guess we kind of skipped over a lot in the beginning. Who’s god tier in this au? How did Jade, Karkat, and Aradiabot get on the ship? Where are all the other humans, there is a distinctly skewed proportion of trolls to humans for reasons which are only partially because the trolls humans had such weird original sprites.

Let’s make this quick.

Rose, John, Dave, and Jade play the game which we’ll still call SGRUB. John and Dave go godtier, mostly because those were the outfits their sprites were in when I started this. Bec Noir destroys the door to earth, John, Dave, and Rose escape into the meteor, and Bec (normal Bec) teleports Jade down to earth.

Jade stumbles on Nepeta’s home, stops Bec from tormenting Nepeta’s cat, and borrows a computer to contact her friends--who’ve started trolling the humans. Bec prototypes himself before Jade and Nepeta enter the medium (and Jade later double prototypes her stuffed dreamself with Becsprite. Why were you carrying that in your inventory, Jade. Gross.)

The humans still do a lot of killing prompted by Doc Scratch’s manipulation, some more accidental than others. Terezi, distressed by having killed Vriska and rapidly losing faith in her ability as a Seer, goes on a suicide mission to destroy the Green Sun. Kanaya goes after her. They go god tier. Gamzee is there? Fuckin clowns. God help us, he legitimately goes god tier.

Jade goes dog tier I mean god tier on Kanaya’s quest bed. She teleports to a dying Karkat and kisses him awake into his dreamself on the battlefield, then teleports herself and Aradiabot to join him, where they grab a shitton of planets and head window-ward.

Kanaya, Terezi, and Gamzee meet up with the meteor crew and a half-dead Sollux, and they blast off. Not gonna lie, most of these grouping decisions were made on the editablility of their sprites. And we never even got to see Terezi or Gamzee. Oh well.

FIN

...Alpha humans? Nah. We’re not finishing Species Swap with those guys as protags, god, can you even imagine? No, don’t even try. We’re done here.

==> Start over?