#so maybe im overinterpreting)

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

first murakami was extremely underwhelming. which is fine beCAUSE I GOT IT FROM THE LIBRARY MEANING I DIDNT WASTE MONEY ON IT WAHOOO

[lesbianshadowheart]

.

[sh5]

its so funny that I got on here a few weeks ago like "ughhhh I cant believe this coworker dislikes me for no reason!!! when you get mad at me this is who you're getting mad at *img of tom from succession" and then like. this coworker has started being really nice to me and im like. ok maybe they didn't hate me maybe im just fucked in the head and overinterpret literally every single interaction

[honeydewmelan]

martin blackwood gave me so much comfort as i was listening to tma. not even martin will bring you tea or martin will keep trying to befriend jon nonono. im talking about martin who would lay tape recorders on the coffin in an attempt to help jon back out and then purposefully distance himself from everyone under this incredibly unnecessary idea that its whats best for everyone. martin finally losing it blackwood burning papers in the archives and wanting to hurt people for hurting the people he loves. martin blackwood who yes, will bring you tea but also fell victim to the lonely half because of his own self loathing preconceptions of himself. seeing that, seeing a little bit of myself reflected in a character like him? that meant a lot. it wasnt always a good feeling. it was honestly a pretty bad feeling sometimes! but seeing this character, who i could look at and go. okay. a nonzero amount of this suffering is your own fault. is because you hate yourself and think you should suffer for it. its hard to explain why i grew so attached to him. maybe its because when the lonely was introduced in such a central way it was at a time of my life i was feeling incredibly isolated myself, or maybe its just because i enjoyed how complicated his character is. or maybe im overinterpreting it! maybe it isnt this deep. who knows.

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

okay i'm gonna bitch about the purpose of fandom thing more cus it's stuck in my craw and what is tumblr if not a blogging platform and what is a weblog if not a log of my shit so anyway

lately when i peruse my internetian wares i see ppl going all "why dig", "that's not meant to be dug up", "you're enjoying your digging wrong", "you're working so hard to achieve nothing" and yeah i could bitch at them directly.

...

so anyways

my entertainment is not nothing???? rude????

genuinely and with sympathy, if your life has ruined imagination or asking questions of something or your efforts for you, or told you there's a 'wrong' and a 'right' way to do those things to the degree that there's a concrete, absolute, definitive way to fail at reading a story, i'm sorry, because that was not kind. listening to your personal integrity and considering feedback is one thing, like, "If I say this, will it do more harm than good", but that's a conversation. "Don't dig" is, IME that's someone telling you to shut up. That's not a conversation.

because it's not just a fandom thing.

nature is a story teller. it's not even just human nature, it's nature, which we are a part of. it's how we teach, it's how we explain, it's how we innovate, it's how we understand and make sense of things, it's how we grow.

2+2=4, right? That's just the way it is. When I was learning math and I asked, "but why", that's what I was told. "That's just the way it is" with the implication, "don't ask, don't dig, because no. Stop spending your time here, you're wasting it by thinking about it. Accept it. Move on." And it makes sense, right? Obviously 2+2=4.

Except when it doesn't. Except it took a lot of history and a lot of big brains reading into things and imagining shit to decide that, usually, 2+2=4. Except when it doesn't.

So. I 'hate' math now. If I see a string of numbers my eyes glaze over and my brain coughs out a puff of air like an empty wallet in a cartoon. The story I was told in response to my poor aptitude was that it was okay. I'm a 'girl'. "Girls are bad at math anyway." Also, "people who are bad at math are naturally more talented in art and language."

I know I have some mathematical aptitude. The clincher is that I wasn't allowed to ask questions. I wasn't allowed to use my imagination. I wasn't allowed to ask "but why does the apple fall on my head" and intuit and test answers over time with the brain eons of fine-tuning resulted in. And now I 'hate' math.

TLDR I wasn't allowed to dig there, but I was allowed to dig elsewhere. Encouraged, even. Something something, Emily Dickens was a lesbian, five points, something something that punchy witticism encapsulates that idea better than anything I could come up with and I'm mad about that something. Anyways, guess what two of my reasons to live are, now?

My curtains are blue. Literally. They're blue. Probably. Depending on who's looking. So the new memes add an extra layer of hilarity to this. Why are they blue? There's reasons, I'm sure. Maybe many and myriad, with and without the dimensions my presence (empty wallet) adds to the equation.

Are they relevant? Well, I look at them every day. I've got a blue house and a blue window. Blue is the colour of all that I wear. So why shouldn't they be? Can they simply be blue? Sure. But there's reasons why they're blue.

Are the reasons why they're blue relevant? That's a decision to make. Decisions are not meaningless. Time, and consideration, and effort, if they give you a tomato when your assignment was to bear fruit, you bore fruit. Unless you're in school, in which case you might get failed because the teacher thinks a tomato is a vegetable ergo your tomato is wrong, valueless, etc, and that's bullshit.

Some will say it lays in the boundary between reasonable interpretation and overinterpretation. I don't exactly care where that boundary lies. I'm enjoying myself by asking my questions and working out my imagination and taking things as far as they'll go until they snap. Ever tried to huck something just to see how far it'd go? There's very few windows here to break, you better goddamn believe I'm gonna huck that bitch and see if I can make a shiny star on the horizon that does a 'ting' noise. I don't fully understand why some folks are trying to erect a glass house in an open field but I guess if that's what works for them... It's just not what does it for me.

Bury your seeds in damp blue curtains. Make a grow bag. If you want to. If you can. Why should you? Why shouldn't you. Want food for thought?

Start digging.

Why dig?

HOLE FUN.

[liliv1]

(Again, I know Im decades late, but the novels are so long, and only now I reread them while checking out other‘s ideas.)

I actually read the blog for this chapter because I wanted to see the interpretation of the golden lily. I havent found anything about it on the internet, which is strange. (Maybe Im just bad at searching though XD) I think this lily is not as unimportant as it seemed.

It says the lily is „a constant reminder of the man who had given (Elayne) his heart.“ I think this is to be taken literally! Aviendha noticed that there are „golden veins“ in his heart, veins of the metal „gold“. He‘s using this gold to create the golden flower. He is quite literally leaving his heart there.

„Where he could have gotten such a thing in the middle of winter she could not begin to imagine. “ He is able to use saidin to do that, there is no way to find a golden lily in winter, he is using his own heart for its creation. There is the high possibility that he doesnt intend to see the girls (at least Aviendha and Elayne) after the bonding anymore. „I . . . I have to go, now. At least I’ll know you are all well now; I won’t have to worry about you.“ This sounds like a farewell. I dont think the bonding has changed anything about his attitude/intention to not feel anything anymore (actually, we all KNOW it didnt). I mean, it even says he feels despair about being together with the three of them the night before, since they make him „feel“ again.

When next we see him - after leaving the lily - he has long black hair - the outside is reflecting the inside - and Min wonders why he doesn‘t feel anything at all while hunting the Ashaman. He ignores a part of the question and - only focusing on the emotion of fear - just asks her why he should be afraid of them. An „answer“ Min is not satisfied with. And shortly after Alanna finds him and wonders why she doesnt feel anything from him even when she is standing right in front of him. As SO OFTEN in the novels, we get a (as I understand) fake explanation, saying its because he bonded three other girls - I havent read your blog up till that moment in the novel yet, so I dont know if youll mention it - but his explanation why he doesnt feel anyting is just Rand evading the issue - the same he did with Min before. Rand bonding other girls isnt the reason Alanna isnt feeling anything from him anymore, otherwise btw, if it were due to cognitive overload, the girls wouldnt have been able to feel anything from him either when they bonded him), he quite literally distanced himself from his own heart.

I havent reread that far yet, but I seem to remember that later on, it is only ever mentioned for Elayne that the clouds disappear from the sky around her. I believe its never mentioned for Aviendha or Min - or Alanna. And Elayne surely carries the lily with her all the time, the „severed (right) hand“ - the „hand that protects“ aka his white side , the same as she carried the feathers around that he tried to make it into a flower before.

So as far as I can see, Rand lets himself be bonded to connect with the girls for a moment and then intends to let go. They know now he loves them, he knows they love him, and with this they can say goodbye. He (Lews Therin) told himself before that his plans would go awry because he wanted to live, and he should „let go“. And I very much think that is what he is doing here. He accepts he‘ll die and thus puts an end to it/says goodbye, with the lily being a farewell-gift.

This Im less sure of:

„Rand peered into his wine. You can see there’s no point in this. I . . . I think I’d better go back to Nynaeve, now“. I might be overinterpreting, but him staring into the wine might even be at the same time (->reflection) him talking to himself.

„Rand stared into the winecup, moments seeming to stretch like hours, and at last set it back on the tray. “All right,” he said quietly. “I can’t say I do not want this, because I do. The Light burn me for it! But think of the cost. Think of the price you’ll pay.“ The second dragon on his arm is „for the price he‘ll pay - which is his „heart“. So he might be talking to the girls and himself here at the same time.

Rand stared into the winecup, moments seeming to stretch like hours, and at last set it back on the tray. “All right,” he said quietly. “I can’t say I do not want this, because I do. The Light burn me for it! But think of the cost. Think of the price you’ll pay.“ The second dragon on his arm is „for the price he‘ll pay - which is his „heart“. So he might be talking to the girls and himself here at the same time. Hints again being the winecup and him talking quietly, and Rand being very much (!!!) insane already at that point in the story…

To this it would fit that - small gestures being as important as they are in WOT and almost never having no meaning when mentioned - Rand is putting his hands to his temples after the bonding. Its very possible that he connects the girls to some part that might even survive his death. There is a difference in Alanna‘s and the girls perception of Rand after this: Min etc. are still feeling and seeing his heart/the golden veins even while many of his emotions are gone after this chapter, as Min noticed - Alanna is feeling nothing from him after this and mentions she liked him better before.

Rand‘s attitude to harden himself did not change by the end of the chapter at all. This is not a „all is well now“-moment, its a „saying-farewell-moment“ which fits much better with the next chapter we see him and how he gets far more instable from here on out.

Wheel of Time liveblogging: Winter’s Heart ch 12

This whole chapter is laughter and tears and beautiful

Chapter 12: A Lily in Winter

Weiterlesen

[datingadviceonreddit]

im thinking about to ask a friend out. Im just not sure if i should. I met her with a group of friends and we text alot but she lives in the next city so we dont see us really often. Our group always tried to couple us together but since were mostly texting and we saw us each other 4-5 times we ignored that. Im just not sure to ask her out because firstly she never really showed intention besides of texting alot and that doesnt mean shit secondly she asks me about other guys and thirdly she likes to overinterpret things . I dont care about a rejection im cool with that and sadly i would ask her over text cause the next meeting would take some time. Thing is i like her and shes kinda cute. I wouldnt have a problem to friendzone her like she´s maybe doing but im thinking to shoot my shot. Lowkey selfexplanatory i know via /r/dating_advice

[rwiteandrwong-blog]

I'm painfully more of an ideas person

No expertise or specialized skills. Just a bunch of ideas that mean nothing unless the right person hears them.

When i lived with an design and media major, during some of our many smoking sessions I talked to him about random shit like whether he would ever want to complete a magnum opus, or create a seal to mark his work which would also innately represent his style, I even recommended that he run as the design chair for the Chinese club I was trying to staff for (didn't work out cause I'm shit with politics, kissing ass, and not being an awkward cheesy fuck)

He ended up doing both of the latter ideas and it ended up working out for him. Not that he ever seemed to realize that I inspired both of those actions that he took... He was kind of dumb so I don't blame him, and not that I particularly care for that kind of acknowledgment from him in particular, he was a dick.

Im more bothered by the fact that it seems indicative of the larger trend, or the macrocosm, that there is no place in the world for the idea guy. They can keep quiet and the world will be worse off without them. Or they'll talk and get nothing.

I'm possibly just overinterpreting my importance too. Maybe I just want to feel like my ideas are worth something when they really aren't cause it's the only way to justify otherwise being am empty, skillless sack of shit.