#so im pretty much indulging in everything but actually playing the game | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cx3ryz · 4 months ago

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another rant: my tumblr era has started i feel withdrawals…

i might not finish this so if it gets posted. something won but drawing most definitely did not ToT anywho this is in fact another persona rant! im fixated on kingdom hearts pretty heavily now but i still hold persona very very dear to me as we now dhskd im here to rant about the aigis and yukari, this wont be as in depth as last rant but hey its worth a try and its been on my mind why not

thinking about aigis’ character and everything about her character down to her bisexuality really makes me wish they explored her humanity more. i know she wasn’t an allegory really or anything of that sort just more of a “plot device” of sorts to help handle the theme of appreciating your humanity and living and all that. but i love her so much so yes, as indulgent as it is, i want to explore that for her hehe. since i played the game and my fixation and love for aigis had commenced, ive always sorta shipped her with yukari i guess? because i think they would really nice together lmao and also because i think there’s so much potential between a dynamic like that between the two of them.

i was working on a fanfic idea and i had written some stuff i really liked but in short the idea was about aigis and yukari and how their relationship would develop during the answer time or after the events of the main game basically and how they would deal with makoto’s death in a rather odd manner to say. mind you, ive never seen the answer dlc and knew very little about it so i sort of didn’t include that specific time but anywho, no matter all that, the point of in short is that aigis and yukari only really find that sort of sense of “love” in each other because they both remind each other of makoto. i know that sounds probably insane and i don’t really like writing about gay couples and just focusing it so much on societal standards or like in sapphic relationships for example, i don’t like the fact so many are based around men and comphet and all that but i feel that this would be such an issue for how aigis and yukari would navigate their lives afterwards, as of course it would be, i think it has a lot of potential to be discussed and i know atlus would never state it the way that i think it would look but just in the friends way and not in the jealous “he was mine!!” way, its so ridiculous bc again, i havent seen it myself but i know its handled so horribly i dont even wanna imagine. ill see it eventually ToT

but anywho, i think their relationship has a lot of potential to be explored. just the ship dynamic in general and aigis having to handle teen emotions lmao. i think her being extremely awkward and learning the concept of embarrassment would be hilarious i mean mostly tragic but in a way, it’s something that could speak to a lot of people. and i know the game didn’t have time to really explore that and i think surprisingly they did pretty well with what they did with aigis and just that game in general (the first and last time lmao) but im just saying whatever yk fhsjfb

i just wish more media expanded on what toxic relationships genuinely are. i wish more ppl thought critically and realized the very thin but visible line between toxic and abusive and didn’t either glorify or exaggerate it so much yk? like i wish more media discussed mutually toxic relationships and actually didn’t put such a disgusting narrative like they always do especially with gay women and sapphic couples. just for the fetish it’s absolutely disgusting just like with gay men and the power dynamics its like… why. why are we missing the point here how do we manage to make the same mistakes everytime ToT i like aigis and yukari as a ship because its something that already in itself is a bit questionable to say the least and it could really feed off well on that differentiation between their humanity you know? and also handling grief but realizing that its the same and they both need to let go you know? it’s like even with yukari and mitsuru, i wish more people didn’t treat them like “aww cute gay girl couple from persona 3!! yass lesbians diversity win!!” and actually thought on the WAY bigger picture that their relationship is and just how messy and complicated and tbh, really unfortunate it would be. although i do think that mitsuru and yukari would probably “be together” late in the future like probably reconnect late 20s or smth but it would all have to be secret and still, mitsuru would never be able to really be with her due to the company and marrying off and all that. and just with mitsuru’s avoidant personalty and a bit of nativity and i personally headcanon yukari with bpd or just a more emotionally based personality disorder so those leading factors would probably make their relationship to actually come to fruition so difficult

ok i was going to finish this and ill still post it but my head hurts so bad rn i hate playing kingdom hearts the graphics are miserable omg.. so ima head to sleep at only 3 am like a loser.. goodnight to the dust under the bed and alsoooo

goodnight too to the inspo for today’s rant.. i was finally able to get my hands on a baby aigis and she has arrived and im so happy i feel like a father right now… even the box has naorise tooo like fjskfjr♪٩(๑>ꇴ< ๑)و ♪ …you all better say goodnight to my child im looking at you too dust bunnies dont think i forgot

#rants

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docilepillow · 8 months ago

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March Media Diary Thing 2024

This one's a weirdo! I'm typing this first paragraph after the fact, because it's the 30th instead of the exact end of the month like i wanted to post it . This post's a two-phaser, just because the way i typed this one out was in a " Live thoughts as fresh as i got them on the day i did stuff " kind of format. I didn't realize that there'd be so many more embeds then in febuary and january, but i guess it's just that kind of thing where you end up doing alot or doing the same but having more to say on it because its Now and not Before? I guess? I dunno. Everything below this space was gonna be from the start of the month , approaching towards the end. Okay, see you at the end of the second media diary post, now ! I'm gonna mix up this one and like unlike the last two i'm gonna try and write to this as i finish stuff instead of leaving it all until the end of the month, i think. im wondering if it'll make my thoughts more consise or not, but honestly, i have no idea! the main thing i think that gets lost out from this is the fact that i'll probably have less personal anecdotes about the month itself. Ohhhh.... MIGHTY SWITCH FORCE! < Silliest 3DS Home Screen Jingle >

i'm not giving this one a docism as a title just because it's kind of embarrasing to make too much more focal then it is, but the game's visual design and the way it flaunts itself does kind of make it a little distracting, but, i guess, more then anything else i've played from wayforward. um

i dont think its nessisarily a bad game or anything its perfectly alright. its like a little short for the price it retailed at on 3ds at least but its like. mediocre good i think . its not like bad or anything. its mostly just a game that sells itself with cute girls. which is fine i guess. like the game design Holds but the games focus is kinda scattershot, but whatever. it doesnt overstay its welcome or anything. the design's sound its just kind of okay all around NO MORE HEROES 2 - DESPERATE STRUGGLE < voice clip game of all time >

unintentional misogyny theming in this media diary oh no

coincidentally as i was playing i learned that the day i chose to start this game came out 3 years after the first game, which, coincidentally , lines up with the game's actual in-universe timeline iif my opinions on this game lines up itll be like, (9) years until i play the next one thats for sure

ok so my story with this series is that i played the first game accidentally completely handicapping my own experience with it because i didnt know you could upgrade your stuff in it and thus made everyone in the ggame into a big dumb hp sponge that wasnt enjoyable to figght and despite my best efforts to try and like this game more ( And, i will say, despite the very prevalent appeals to the male gaze, it CAN be charming ! ) i also took entirely way too long to learn about switching weapons worked functionally, just because despite SEEING the tutorial prompt for weapon switching, i didnt put it together because it takes a bit longer to activate then you'd expect, and thus, never used it. Oops! but yea this game mostly just stands on its own crass nature and in that respect its both very self aware and self indulgent. if you like that kind of vibe youll enjoy the game and its style or be mostly indifferent/uncomfortable with it . Shrug! shinobu is pretty cool. u get to play her after the events of the first game and its neat.

one thing i like about this games like direction is that its very well established that nobody in this game is a good person like even remotely and in that aspect it does get to explore cool stuff i can appreciate. i like that much. i tthink my favorite boss conceptually is the big robot you fight at one point in the battle royale segment. but id mostly consider this game as kind of a gimmick. i can see elements in there that'd make it a classic to a certain brained kind of person, but it doesnt appeal to me. i did wanna try and i did get at least to the very end until the final boss, at least. people say thats one of the worst final bosses in video games period and i gotta say they didnt lie shit doesnt really work

i got endeared by this sign , so i took a screenshot of it . i also like the crickets in the bug minigame.

pretty good though the games just kind of middle of the road for me overall. i didnt hate it enough to not completely finish it and as of typing this and as is its only 3/9 , so i might still truck through the final battle of this game, but, i wont really guarentee or force myself after 3 hours straight of it ----- ok nevermind literally the next day first thing when i woke up i first tried the guy lol games charming its just very peculiar

get fucked idiot SUPER MARIO BROS DELUXE

I technically started this last month but this is the month where i actually sat down and finished it just because MAR 10 ran around so like. might as well fish out some random mario sidescroller to play next also. its short and ive heard some ssay its like definitive mario 1 but the way mario's speed + the screen crunch make it kinda sloppy in a way. limitations of a gameboy color i know but i guess as a standalone way of playing mario 1 its not like. the worst in the world . ive never actually finished mario 1 before on my own so this is a new experience for me !

if you think the 3ds being retro in the modern day is extra fucked up, consider the fact that this version of mario 1 came out 14 years after the original....!!!! if you think the ds being retro in the modern day is extra fucked up, consider the fact that this version of mario 1 came out 14 years after the original....!!!!

Dōbutsu no Mori ( The Animal Crossing Anime Movie ) < Ough-est main character >

Watched this one again for the second time in a discord movie night! A very sweet and nice little movie with very very very cute characterrs. i see the able sisters on the screen and i clap

whats wrong with her

shes like a frog anyway the movies cute and theres aliens at the end. id describe it as a very loving adaptation of an animal crossing player's imagined version of events going on in an animal crossing gamecube-era town. though the biggest thing of all that endears me is AI i think theyre so silly looking

Pictured : Another Silly Subject KERO BLASTER

another game ive played many times before, but, considering my recent cave story fix, i felt drawn to playing it again. i still think its a cute and extremely solid sidescroller game..aaaa ithink everyone should give it a try if thats ur kind of game. also theres lots of very good video game enemies in this

very simple but effective art direction theres like a very nice feeling of atmosphere to it ( cool game ) idk what else to say ive playedd this game like five times before and this is a media diary for documenting new feelings and thoughts and not for like full on game reviews, i think. < Mid-Month Side Note >

i still havent completed this game's story mode to this day, but, recently, cus' the efforts of the team 0% team ( group of crazy freaks with the sole goal of making sure every mario maker 1 / 2 level gets cleared ) ive been driven to try and finish my super world recently. i might feel like showing off the levels ive made at the end of the week,as well, but it's honestly really satisfying, even if i know that the userbase for this game's comparitively shrunk since launch. idk! its fun to make mario levels. i think its satisfying and ill do it even if nobody plays them. also apparently i forgot to turn off my nso subscription so thats why im extra driven to upload lots of levels while i have it. I still hate how NSO is a paid service attached to online. it just kind of paywalls large swaths of games that don't need it and it's just dumb, evil, corporate greed. Ugh! That's the price of gaming in the modern era, i guess....

PETAL CRASH < Thank you, Bison...! >

game i've only played very recently, and arguably, doesnt fall under regular completion criteria, as it's mostly meant to be played on a whim in short bursts ( it does have a short story mode, though, plus a bunch of challenges i haven't played yet..! ) ( I might not be smart enough, for those... ) , but that doesnt really matter! This game is absurdly , amazingly, adorably adorable! !! !

Look at these things!

Ouuu!

Fairy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aside from having an adorable fairy character that appeals to every aestetic i love, its also a decently digestable GBC styled puzzle game ! thats really fun!! and ive been playing it on steam deck, where, i think, it really shines!! the character design in it is really good!

i've yet to master it , as it's pretty fast paced, but its essentially a match game that bumps stuff togetheer good with cute characters like puyo. i havent interacted with that series before but i have played kirbys avalanche and star stacker and this is pretty fun like those. if you like those games you'll like this.

Thanks to my BF for buying this game for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth < most symphony of the night award >

the docism is kind of demeaning but this game is really solid i finished it just now in 6 hours ( 3/21 ) ( Wait, those numbers add up to 6! wow! ) i think this games strongest suit is how drop dead gorgeous the sprite art is . like . holy shit there are giant gorgeously animated ps1 quality era crisp pixel perfect sprites just everywhere

the picture quality google images gave me doesnt do it justice but there are just like these fantastically rendered fantasy sprites wherever you wanna look for it and it just reminds me how awesome the ladybug developer team is. i think in terms of indie studios ive gotten attached to this is definitely like a dev i eagerly cant wait to see what they do next in the metroidvania sphere. like. considering the source material the actual designs dont stray too far from like what " conventional " fantasy looks like,( A little basic ) , they still kept my attention just from the number of moving parts and shit. and like. mechanically this game is actually pretty neat. they make you juggle a whole lot of projectiles on screen, but it becomes pretty managable when you learn how the two-prong element system works to be pretty engaging ( It reminds me alot of cave story's weapon system, actually! ) ( really cool! ) https://clan.cloudflare.steamstatic.com/images//36872249/d5f18e9ecfb93d0547f6ccf894cd2e0bab2d12c1.gif WHAT???? tumblr posts have a 20 image limit! What! i didnt know about this! i think websites should let u post as many cool images as you want. i should make a neocities for these at some point if i keep doing them...... regardless i think this game is awesome even if the story is kind of like throwaway ( saying this as someone who hasnt engaged with the source material yet, which there apparently is, so maybe thats not a fair thought. on the games steam community page though i saw a gif of the main character in an anime adaption wiggle her ears around with a silly face, so maybe it'd appeal to me if i look into it? Huh. ----- PART TWO WILL BE POSTED SOME TIME IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS FROM THE EMBEDDING ISSUE -------------------

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uniquezombiedestiny · 1 year ago

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⚔️ and 🎩 for the ask game!

🎩 — What would an Exceptional Story featuring this character be about?

oooh.. likely something focusing on the dichotomy of her love for urchins, cats, and other flit-things, but also her once being in the university and other like. sophisticated things ig. mae could be actively involved in something like the university or high society while also being involved in some silly urchin stuff under the hood (maybe like what the stoats do. aka silly prank war shit lmao). you could be a mediator or on a specific side, trying to get them out of the other. maybe somebody in society is suspicious of her or just wants some scandal on her name, or the urchins find their game to be much more worthwhile/dont want the rest of society getting involved in their business. the cats would be good info-givers or guides, and would have the ability to fit in on either side, which makes them useful...

though thats a more lighthearted option - another could be a delve into her relationship with the eye, since it's pretty unique to her. i do feel like i focus too much on the starved war though, so that specific part would be on backpedal. itd more focus on the lasting effects and the hunt for knowledge. you'd be involved with her on some kind of case or other mission. perhaps mae knows this will make her go mad with nightmares, and she's trusted you to be her decision-maker once they come. you'd have to make some moral decisions, and maybe even save her from the knowledge she's seeking (or dont! let her face the consequences!)

making the moral choice would keep you both on the right path, but you'd be missing out on the knowledge you could gain if you let things get worse. if you went too deep into a certain place, or chose to look at what you know you shouldn't. knowledge is powerful, after all. they keep their secrets and nightmares highly guarded, talking about them vaguely and esoterically, but on high nightmares those walls degrade. you'd get to know more about her relationship with the eye and how it affects her, and just know what she's actually talking about, what she hides from others. if you took that path, you'd be delving into their exact same madness, but you would so intimately know everything. you would know and see what noone else does.

but back on the moral path, since that's not flesh out enough: the moral path would give you lore on other characters, as well as more precious or material rewards. choosing not to indulge in her madness will make the case or mission you're both on more successful, and the people around you happier. you could even try and balance these paths to get the best of both worlds.

did not think i had so much in me for a mae es but god damn i did!! and im quite happy with these concepts :3

⚔️ — Do they have a particular fighting style/signature weapon?

their fighting style is a mishmash of everything she's seen from others - particular tricks she's noticed around, ways of moving found outside of fighting (like in the flit for fast and quiet burglary), etc etc. she lost her memories before she went to the neath, so any old fighting style is now just instinct or a mostly-intact intuition.

her weapon is a notable lack of scars, which has 2 blades so her weapon is dual swords! as the name implies, they're evasive and can play the long game, enduring growing wounds until it's time to strike/you can't endure them.

#maethyl fallow #fl ocs #asks #violant-apologia #ty for the ask!! very fun to answer :3 #im down to answer more questions on her es' and stuff if anyones interested!

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kokitschi · 2 years ago

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"like, once he's got miu and gonta killed, it's like nooo im totally not acting out because i feel extremely guilty. nooo this kamikaze plan is definitely not a direct result of that. i am simply the antagonist. im evil and crazy and this is what is in character for me. this is simply my curtain call."

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT NOOO. but YES omg that. plays SUCH a part. he's trying SO hard to make himself completely logical and cold and calculating to help everyone without all those silly caveats. but he's HUMAN and he FEELS and he's doing this to help everyone and he feels so so bad about everything he's doing (except he's not, obviously, that's sooo dumb why would he feel bad about helping everyone? you're so dumb :/ NO HE'S NOT CRYING SHUT UP)

ohh and that SO helps him detach from everything doesn't it. he so THOROUGHLY sees himself as the antagonist because of his own guilt that he starts planning his own downfall, literally becoming his own worst enemy because he cannot let this shit continue but also he's the one doing it? and it's for the good of everyone? but that's what every villain says.

(man writes his own narrative. tsumugi who?)

(no seriously my most self-indulgent headcanon is that so much of kokichi's bullshit was completely unplanned. like they wrote the characters and some of their progression but they did NOT plan for this so every time some more crazy bullshit happens and tsumugi's got her whole "omg O_O that's so weird guys!!" schtick going it's almost COMPLETELY genuine because internally she's genuinely just going "what the fuck??? i did not sign up for this shit." layers upon layers of pretending. also it's my silly little way of letting kokichi win in my brain. because he DID confuse the mastermind. even if it was mostly just a series of inconveniences.)

anyway your brain is iconic. got me rotating.

im still not over how many crying sprites this guy has - and i also think it's pretty clear when he's fake crying and when he isn't and he certainly was crying for real after the fourth trial.

i think it's very wonderful how emotional he actually is - like, yes, he's logical, smart and he can be cold af. but he also gets happy and sad, he gets devastated and super angry, he gets annoyed and he gets proud. and sure, sometimes he does exaggerate and he lies (a lot) - but i don't think it's all lies. i think he likes to pretend like it is though. and well, what's that one quote... "he wears a mask and his face grows to fit it" or smth like that

and i think that's an important aspect - because no matter how much you tell yourself that it's just a role, a mask - in the end you're still the one doing everything. you are how you act.

and i think kokichis very self aware in this aspect. ch 4 happens and he knows, this isn't something he can come back from. he fucked up beyond repair. and while he did already believe himself to be the villain, and perhaps this was a self fulfilling prophecy of a kind, i think actually having something like basically killing two people on your conscience gives it a whole different weight.

i think he had to confront the reality at this point and i think it made him despair a bit - which then leads to the kamikaze plan. (because why does someone who was just willing to sacrifice two people for his own survival suddenly choose to basically kill himself? and trust someone else to end the game?)

i love the hc that kokichi did genuinely derail the whole game! i think it's credible enough too, considering the absolute mess that was chapter 6.

and monokuma sometimes really seemed to have personal beef with him which to me says that he was actually getting pissed at him lol

tsumugi also seemed to be quite wary of him - though you can also interpret that as her setting him up as the antagonist ig. i think it was both.

my brain is very honored ♥️

i very much enjoy yours too :D

#i hope my word vomit made sense lol #it's like 3am for me #tbh i personally still believe that kokichi faked his death 🧍#the crux of the argument is that we never saw his corpse and that's like mystery genre 101 #no body no death #there's more hints towards it but i kinda forgot some but there's write ups around #but that would also come with a lot of new questions and youd have to recontextualize and stuff

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archer3-13 · 1 year ago

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sat down recently to power through pokemon violet [laptop was in for repairs].

i think so many months out from its release and with a lot of the buzz around it died down i can settle on a lot more coherent of an opinion on it. and that opinion is that scarlet and violet are at their best when its doing things to actually encourage exploration of the environment. theres some really fascinating lil mini areas here and there with a solid atmosphere one can just indulge in as they scrounge in the dirt for interesting pokemon.

it certainly makes battles more tedious then ever however since without the constrained angles and forced camera perspectives of the pocket battle dimension the spectacle doesnt hit that hard and without that spectacle how much time each battle takes up becomes ever more rapidly apparent from playing out animations to loading up battles [its not quite that bad but it is noticeably longer compared to the 'hayday' of pokemons inception where battles load in split seconds]. it breaks up the pace too much effectively.

and the performance does bite it quite badly in certain spots regardless of what ya do, which does unavoidably hamper things.

as for gameplay, well i haven't quite gotten to the very end of things i will note [for anyone who hasn't already figured this out anyways] that the most natural way of doing the whole thing is in my opinion just tackling whichever titan/don/gym is closest from your starting pick until ya hit a roadblock. the upgrades you aquire from doing so come at a natural pace that way as does the level curve.

as for each of the 'individual' [as i would honestly say the game was more so geared for doing everything at once] paths though

victory road: the easiest of the god damn paths and clearly geared towards being your first path/the most noob friendly. the last gym leader is nearly ten levels lower across all of his pokemon then the last titan or don. the gym challenges themselves range from insipidly easy, to this is literally just a gauntlet, to actually kinda fun and interesting [the normal gym challenge being the highlight honestly]. as for this crop of gym leaders can't say im a fan either, they arent bad they just dont elicit much interest from me.

legendary titans: the middle difficulty path where the only challenge is if your pokemon are leveled enough to not immediately die. if your at or just a lil below parity with em, the titan fights can be pretty fun but if your hitting well above their level they quickly become a joke. it needed something more then just the titan fights as the pokemon themselves are literally just out in the open and marked on your map even when they change positions. there needed to be some sort of minigame where ya wrangle them down before you can actually fight them, then we'd be getting somewhere.

operation starfall: the most difficult path, the dons tend to be higher level then the local gym leaders as noted before, and their god damn super cars are tougher then the titan pokemon on the whole even packing some nasty strategies behind them [with the best soundtrack for their fights by far compared to the other paths]. would be the highlight of things if not for the fact that the lead up to them is pretty boring and completely toothless. eri kicked my ass [in part because of my own lazy strategies and a team makeup that was particularly vulnerable to her] a couple of times but the slugfest with her goons was a leisurely stroll by comparison. i think operation starfall would have been a shineout example in the game [and possibly worth the price of admission alone] had the challenges before each don fight been both more varied and more challenging/active in participation. say with atticus ya have to sneak through his base like a ninja before ya can fight him, well with eri its a battle gauntlet with no rests against tough pokemon to mimic the 'mountain climb' the game has ya do.

and as for story

victory road: well im not thrilled on the gym leaders and the elite four ya get hints of before hand [i do appreciate seeing the elite four before challenging them atleast], i like nemona quite a lot as a rival striking the right balance of friendly but still competitive a lot of other friendly rivals completely miss the boat on. he enthusiasms just kinda infectious really. and the goku memes do help brighten my opinion on her. because they are absolutely true.

legendary titans: the most emotional i got was with arven and the dog, and i can fully admit thats because it speaks more to my own experiences then arvens strained relation with his dad. arven himself just feels a bit to awkwardly written for me to fully get onboard with myself, like i like him well enough but more so despite of the writing rather then because of it.

operation starfall: well the battles might have been the best, the story definitely feels the weakest and its frustrating to feel that way about it. like its clear what they wanna do there, what themes they wanna tackle about bullying and how it can be more complicated then adults make it out to be, and on not judging people on appearances or eccentric behaviour, themes that are good to teach kids in general, and all that. i dont even dislike the dons themselves. its just... i can feel the writers hand at work here demanding i feel sympathy for these people and that just makes me wanna dig my heels in on the matter and say 'no i will not blindly awe at the sap story your putting on here'. not helped by penny's motives for wanting to break up the thing she started feeling confused [though i can admit thats probably part of the point] but more importantly so underwritten. in fact she just feels the most underwritten of the three of them [arven, nemona and penny] in general which probably isn't helping the emotional impact of it.

might follow up on this once i polish the very ends of the game off.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #im interested in what others thought on this #cause i dont keep up with pokemon opinions but this is nawing at me enough to ask

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nintendont2502 · 1 year ago

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What's up with heirstuck and reboot

Heirstuck is just my version of the generic homestuck fantasy AU (the planning document is actually named 'Yet Another Generic Fantasy AU' so I kinda call it heirstuck + YAGFAU interchangeably lmao), but idk I think its fun. I put a shit ton of effort into the world building/lore but also I have no fucking clue what to actually do with it? Idk might write smth after I finish Reboot

Reboot is just 'self indulgent shit: the fic' and I love it so fucking much. It's also the only fic idea I've actually written something for (8k so far baybee). It's all I think about at work because driving is Boring

Hold up im gonna add a cut here because im about to infodump hard

Reboot: takes place 10 years after the game ends, and right after Dirk kills himself like he does in the Candy timeline (except there's no Ult selves this time - dude was just Not Doing Great). Jake *also* isn't doing great, manages to convince himself that there *has* to be a Dirk, and somehow Hopes into existence a 13 year old Hal, who's very confused (because his last memory was dying as Arquiussprite when he tried to leave the game*) and definitely not Dirk. Jake freaks out, Hal *also* freaks out and passes out (partially due to just being overwhelmed by being literally Hoped into existence), and Jake takes them to Dirk's old apartment where he uh. May or may not keep him kidnapped there for just over a month (although he'd never admit that he's essentially kidnapped someone to himself). Also he keeps trying to figure out how to 'fix' everything, and somehow ends up deluding himself through the power of Hope into seeing Hal *as* Dirk. Hal (who at this point is incredibly scared just by. Everything (including Jake flipping his shit and punching him at one point) goes along with it.

Eventually Jane figures out what's going on, finds Hal and loses her shit because holy shit her husband created life, kidnapped said life and didn't tell her for a month straight. Hal ends up moving in with Dave and Karkat (who are very very gay and very very in denial about that) and gets a job with crockercorp because he doesn't fully trust dave and karkat yet, and wants to be able to support himself. Eventually he realises thst he *can* trust dave and karkat (and his job is incredibly fucking boring) and he tries to quit, but whoops! Turns out he was *technically* registered as Crockercorp property.

To try and cover up Jake's... everything, Jane secretly gave him a role at Crockercorp in the research and development sector, with Hal legally being his prototype for Crockercorp's supposed AI program. Jane was originally just going to leave it, but crockercorp is struggling financially, and AI research could be enough to keep them running. Which means.- Hal isn't allowed to leave. Obviously Hal, dave and Karkat are *furious* about that, but there isn't anything they can do - legally, Hal doesnt exist as a person, and when they try to take Crockercorp to court, they lose. Bad. Jane (who isn't the absolute worst yet but judt give her time) offers them a contract where Hal can do his work from home four days a week, and only comes in on Mondays. She does get worse though. Way fucking worse - she begins to realise that if they're going to pull off the AI thing (and they have to, because they've invested so much time already and there's so much on the line), they need Hal to obey them- and right now, he isn't doing that. Being at Dave and Karkats most of tje time gives him a stable home base, so he feels confident enough to tell crocker to fuck off and not play into her robot shit. Eventually, she starts getting even more desperate, and Bad Shit happens which I won't spoil here :)

Heirstuck doesn't have a plot yet, but it's pretty standard 'homestuck fantasy AU' shit. Derse and Propsit are two separate kingdoms, ruled by the alpha kids (who are 20) with the beta kids (who are like 16) being the heirs to the throne. Alternia is a separate kingdom on the outskirts that fucking hates the human kingdoms, and the human kingdoms are also at war with each other

The rules of succession are pretty interesting though I think - each kingdom has two thrones, the male and the female throne. Only members of the royal family who show signs of magic abilities are able to claim the throne, and there's always two royals of each gender - one on the throne, and a heir. In both kingdoms, the male members of the royal family take one last name (Strider in Derse, Egbert in Prospit), while the female members take a different last name (Lalonde in Derse, Harley in Prospit).

The last Queen of Prospit (Queen Harley) mysteriously disappeared one day, along with the former King Egbert, leaving Jane and Jake to take the throne. Only a few days earlier, Queen Lalonde and King Strider of Derse *also* died, forcing Dirk and Roxy to the thrones. All four were far younger than any recorded rulers in history, and the suspiciously close timing of the rulers deaths only lead to more suspicion between the two kingdoms, fueling the war even further. Just after the crowning of the two kingdoms new rulers, the ruler of Alternia - Her Imperial Condesce - returned after her decades long disappearance, telling Alternia to ready for war

Before Queen Harley died, she spent a lot of time with her Heirs Jane and Jake, although what she did was unknown. It must have had an impact, though, because when Jane ascended to the throne, she took the last name 'Crocker' instead of the traditional Harley, in honour of the former queens original last name. Similarly, only a few days after he was crowned, King Egbert completely disappeared (although rumours have spread that he now goes by Jake English or Doc Scratch, in honour of the God he's created a cult around on the outskirts of the warring kingdoms)

(Also yeah Queen Harley is absolutely just HIC in disguise - she brainwashed Jane into further intensifying the war between Derse and Prospit before she 'died', and she told Jake about a powerful God known as Lord English in the hopes of distracting him to get a weaker King on the throne (poor John). She didn't expect him to actually raise LE - it was the equivalent of just jingling keys in front of a baby's face, only for them to snatch them, sprint away and commit mass vehicular manslaughter in your Ford f150.)

I dont really have too much in the way of plot yet, but I do have some random ideas:

- after HICs return, karkat is suddenly in a lot more danger as a mutant (and someone who neber manifested powers, unlike every other troll) - so he gets the fuck out and flees to Derse, where he meets dave

- speaking of Dave - he never manifested powers either. He shouldn't be heir, and they all know that. He came along with rose to serve as her body guard (and also to get away from his older brother, who - resentful that *he* never got called up to take the throne - trains Dave *way* too hard). Rose fakes a vision that Dave is meant to be heir, and dirk and roxy pretend to believe it because holy shit they can't just send him back

- Jake uses dirk as a host to manifest Lord English. Cue incredibly insane Dirkjake here

- I have. Thoughts about classpects and how they manifest but I can't be fucked writing them out jere

- HICs main goal is to have the two human kingdoms turn on each other so they weaken each other, and then the trolls can sweep in and take them all out (right now they live underground after some ancient war drove them out or smth).

#yeahh #i cant think of anything else rn #me.txt #ask #answer #reboot #heirstuck

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deutoplasmic · 3 months ago

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i mean ruki could be a thousand years old or more and i would still think hes just a silly princess,,, such a vain kitsune who probably doesnt like being touched much but if you pet him like you actually would pet a fox he would like it,,, not that he would admit that out loud

i mean we’ve still got a decent chunk of our mythos at least!! was able to make a thesis out of it once 😤 but yea a lot of it has definitely been lost

RIGHT YETAO IS SO PRETTY,,, i adore him he gives me so much gender envy

KYOSUKE 😭😭😭 whats takumi’s excuse then /lh LMAOKDKDKD

im sure if you look it up youll find like 10 different clips of junmin yelping or screaming lmao bros a dolphin 😭😭

yep! and hyeonju (the 01 liner) is half filipino too so technically theres 3! and jollibee is our fast food chain LMAODKDJD its very famous for its chicken but i personally prefer the spaghetti (filipino-style spaghetti is sweet and has hotdogs in it >< its a childhood fave of mine)

AND MY FAVORITE VILLAGER IS SHEP!! i had him in my wild world game and he was always so nICE 🥹 so silly and fluffy,,,

INDULGENT TAJI SO TRUE he could never hurt a fly 🥺 masaya on the other hand,,, hes got a brother so. play wrestling with him would be fun. would i win? maybe, maybe not. maybe the real victory is getting to wrestle w him at all 😁

oh my god you are so right. he is such a 'i hate everyone except you' type of guy. you get exemptions for everything like if you accidentally brush against his tails he'll just give you a little haughty disdainful look but if it's junki. well. the poor guy is not coming out unscathed. speaking of junki he's always roughhoused a little with his friends so when he meets kind of prissy ruki .... lmao .........

enough to make a thesis out of it LOOOOOL the bare minimum 🙏🙏🙏

takumi was just blessed with the power to not laugh when tickled. truly a sacrifice of equal value 🤣 masaya redemption was crazy though his physical stats were working overtime to get him to first place LMAO

too relatable for that 😔 his kprofiles says that he's a bit of a crybaby apparently...... free my guy..........

NO WAY intense patriotism from filipinos i guess 🤣 i think there are a bunch of filipino kpop fans though so i suppose it makes sense! and WHHHHHAT sweet spaghetti. is it like tomato sauce type of sweet? that's crazy cool!!!! for some reason jollibee sounds like the name of some lolly manufacturer. maybe bc it sounds like trolli? who knows

SHEP!!!!!!!!!!! i love his . hair? fur? not really sure what it is but it's very fun LOL 🙏 also omg you had wild world on the ds? i only had like. mario kart 😰

he'd just stare at you in mild confusion..... indulgent is such the perfect word for him........... but with masaya he'll let you win most of the time. if he wants to win well..... too bad for you he's determined LOL i feel like with takeru both of you are stubborn as hell. like goats. neither of you will agree to trucing

#asks

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meowingfawn · 6 months ago

Text

my relation to my fict. types

a little self explanatory, a post about (at least some of) what connects me to my ficto kintypes honestly for some it isnt super clear, brain just went 'me'. i think ill leave the ones that have that feeling out since i wont really have much to say about them

i think all of these guys also have the feeling of "thats me" so i wont be including that in the info, but i do feel connected to them all with a sense of, thats me.

with that stated, lets start!

frisk

trauma, also probably influenced by a connection to undertale as a whole. i think the other ways i feel like them other than trauma are like, appearance, feeling pure of heart in a way while also feeling like you are the farthest from innocent. undertale feels like a familiar place to me, even though i actually was never heavily involved the fandom (and i dont even know all/majority of the lore! ive never done a genocide run, or seen a playthrough of one. just bits and pieces of a lot of lore)

steven universe

trauma heavily, its actually kind of weird how similar our traumas are, as well as literally so many small aspects of our lives. i could go on and on about things in our lives that are basically mirrored but not sure if i would feel comfortable with that lmao. other than that, yet again i am very bonded to steven universe as a franchise. the places dont feel the same as undertale, i can assume this is because undertale is a game and i usually feel like i am 'there' when im playing games, and shows you dont really get that, more so just observing everything. (unless you make fan content or indulge in fanfiction ofc)

twice/jin bubaigawara

trauma and sense of identity. i have really weird system stuff that i feel relates to twice's experiences. also, strange addition to this but i find that i do the back and forth with myself like twice does, im not sure if its my tics or what but sometimes i will just say stuff that sounds aggressive and i follow it up by something more sweet, or trying to comfort or apologize to whatever i just insulted or complained about (its like. almost always not actually a person). not sure if ive done that recently, tbh i dont pay attention to it much anymore.

himiko toga

honestly, i feel her obsessive behavior very much, its somewhat a cope on my end but mentally ill as i am i have become very obsessed with people like this sometimes! as well as just. being very not normal about men sometimes, plinKing rn. (/ref) this one is pretty personal to me but i feel like i take some comfort in relating to toga. i do feel like i have been doing better mentally when it comes to this stuff, but it still makes me feel better to hold her close in my mind and know she is just like me.

tomura shigaraki

i need to rewatch mha. i need to rewatch mha...i dont remember that much about this kin feeling- i think honestly it was getting muddled between system-related stuff and kin stuff, but i do still feel a connection to shigaraki, i feel like its wishy washy on if he feels like 'me' or not. still included it for the sake of saying this

gir

EXTREME silly, just like me. weirdly emotionally shifting between upset and silly, and also sometimes serious. relate. also i am such a little guy, i am !!!!!

#kinfo #fictionkin #othervague #first actual post yay!#endo safe

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thedarkmistress16 · 1 year ago

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please gush about your passions and pastimes!!! I would love to hear about them

ack- im happy you want to hear about them!

Passions:

obvs as y'all know recently and just in gen., i guess, writing- i love crafting worlds and stories where anything can happen and just creating scenes above all else, like getting lost in the details of everything. I love getting lost in my own world and making myself happy as most self-indulgent writers do (and showing off my legitimate skill in a proper form of writing after doing shitpost-y things for so long is pretty rejuvenating, XD). And upon going back to some of my older, posted works and wips, I still laugh at the dumb shit I thought was the best stuff ever and now find myself giving those ideas a refresher like my last writing update, because it's still a legitimately enjoyable read.

i love sketching for similar reasons, but more so to visualize a fuzzy, almost-there idea, usually about fashion. Like recently I re-drafted some outfits for a fic idea I had, in order to make the world and designs make sense in my head. And I redesigned an existing outfit, running with certain themes and embellishments in design. I'm so happy I can churn out simple sketches like that when i really put my mind to it and feel content with the finished product nowadays. I feel accomplished as a hobby artist now and it's all thanks to heavy online research, a few how-to books, and putting effort into one art class. It's the second hobby of mine that I want to be good at, almost as much as my writing. Speaking of, I sometimes draw what I write or dream about because it's that prominent in my head.

Wow i love music guys- ha, but you already knew that *lenny face*

Past times:

I really like playing the simpler games in life- not as much in the vein of it being less difficult or busy, but more so with fewer controls, interesting mechanics, and a captivating style that I can easily fuck around in or beat some levels for a few hours. Bring on the (spider) solitare (only 4 suit sucks ass why do i do this to myself), jewel quest (FUCK YOU CROWS), barbie's fashion show (SINGLE DREAM-), zoo tycoon (fuck guest happiness), and sonic adventure or x-men of course.

MMD vids are v neat, like I know a handful of choreos that are fun as past midnight exercises to get my blood pumping and i get to discover new songs and learn more about other languages at the same time! Also the aph as mmd crack vids are the best whether its them making 'i hate this' or 'yeah im hot shit' faces or being completely into it as they're forced to dance or simply copying a vine. Like, they give me brainrot and serotonin at the same time its so fun. I love seeing all the different outfits for mmd vids in general, too, on top of new covers i never would've known about.

I really love analyzing things in general, actually. It's how I learn most of the things I do and know now, even though it technically causes me to lose large chunks of time because all i'm doing is staring at the damn thing, XD. Sometimes (all the time) I'll look at a gif or vid of a character changing their facial expression as they do/say something and I'll be completely enthralled by it. Something similar happens when I stare at REALLY GOOD artwork. I think it's the technical part of my brain trying to figure out the individual elements which make up whatever that thing is, like what facial muscles are being used to convey that emotion or mix of them, what the character is feeling, how the lighting or shading of the environment or extra details in editing affects said expression, etc. And for art, I'm thinking of the lines, posture, composition, object placement, color palette, negative space, tone, and all that jazz you learn from studying art.

Scrapbooking is a fun pastime for me that's extended from celebratory cards to actual gifts to my personal sketchbooks. It's part of the "creating something out of nothing/seeing what you can create with some basic templates and decorations" kind of mindset. And it makes me happy because I get to be creative and my family members and friends (even my employer) love them as part of their gifts every time and come to expect it from me each holiday, so I'm constantly encouraged to do it in the best way. I've recently kinda gone overboard on using ribbons and charms for the spiral and stickers and washi tape for the actual book itself on my sketchbooks, but I find myself wanting to draw in it more because I did that, lol.

I love rewatching the things I love. I usually have the same commentary about it, but its nonetheless enjoyable. And I never know what new thing I'll discover about it next, even if i've seen it over 50 times and only have it on as background noise and don't actually watch it. And yes, I will easily let something play on repeat at least that many times in my lifespan as well (like, a full day of it, at least).

wow i love staring at characters im attracted to for hours on end can i get a HUYEA-

#ask for moi #im glad your interested- truly. made my day! *happy tears*#people who like this word vomit have my upmost respect

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seita · 4 years ago

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― your friend tries to steal him from you.

includes: ushijima, kuroo, bokuto, oikawa.

genre: fluff, angs, suggestive in kuroo’s

request: Can I get a ummm readers friend tryna steal their man but he knows what they’re trying to do so he plays along only to turn them down and expose them in front of the reader ( with ushi, kuroo, bo, oikawa)🥺

+ note: i didn’t think ushijima or bokuto would play along so only kuroo nd oikawa follow that plotline!

⤿ requests currently closed.

― wakatoshi ushijima.

≻he’ll be suspicious the minute she starts hanging around him and giving him shy little smiles with a flutter of her lashes ≻ like.........friends don’t do that...... ≻ honestly and truly, he’ll be the one to cut it off the quickest ≻ he truly won’t play a dangerous game like that ≻ he’s also rlly offended that she thinks he would be a cheater ≻ or even date someone who tries to steal a taken man ≻ he’s devoted to you and there’s no way he’ll allow this to happen ≻ the last thing he wants is to weave fear and insecurity into your relationship ≻ so he’ll probably shameless call her on her shit ≻ he’ll be vibin with the Boys when she shows up ≻ he’s completely unsympathetic in shutting her down ≻ in front of his friends ≻ “i don’t know who you think you are or why you think it’s okay but there’s no way i’d ever go out with someone like you. i love my girlfriend. now leave.” ≻ damn wakatoshi ≻ he won’t even apologize if she cries ≻ she shouldn’t have fucked with him rip

― tetsurou kuroo.

≻ he’ll definitely play along with her ≻ but he’ll let you know what’s goin on ≻ “hey babe ur friend keeps tryin to get in my pants so im gonna play a fun game with it and make her cry” ≻ kuroo............ok u do u ≻ lbr you wouldn’t feel bad for her at all ≻ she shoulda found herself another man!!! ≻ so he plays around for a few days, gassing her up ≻ making her think she actually has a shot ≻ he’s so excited ≻ while she’s at home fantasizing about him ≻ about how she’s gonna win him ≻ and you’ll be nothing ≻ he’s at home, laying in bed with you, kissing you, and touching you ≻ you’re in a place she can only DREAM of being in ≻ eventually he does get tired of her ≻ she’s annoying ≻ so he eventually invites her out, asks her on a date ≻ “____ doesn’t know~” ≻ except when she shows up at the little club, she finds kuroo pinning you against the wall in a dark little corner ≻ your skirt pushed up around your waist as you grin over his shoulder ≻ she scoffs, tears stinging her eyes as he looks over his shoulder ≻ “i thought you might wanna see what it would be like if you were good enough for me.”

― koutarou bokuto.

≻ honestly ≻ he doesn’t even notice ≻ he really just thinks she’s being friendly ≻ like he never wants to assume the worst in someone ≻ so he wouldn’t even fathom the idea that your friend was betraying you ≻ but then she starts to be not too subtle about it ≻ she starts making comments about him ≻ how he’s sooooo attractive and funny ≻ and how well she’d treat him if they were dating ≻ it really starts to make him nervous ≻ he doesn’t want anything to happen that could potentially ruin your relationship with him ≻ like he doesn’t know what would happen if you started suspecting him of cheating ≻ or playing along with her advances ≻ and he certainly doesn’t want you to get hurt ≻ so he’s quick to cut it off ≻ or at least try ≻ he’ll start avoiding her and bringing you up more often ≻ saying how much he loves you and everything ≻ but she doesn’t take the hint and continues on ≻ so he finally tells you ≻ he’s really nervous about it ≻ but he’s immediately relieved when you tell him you’re thankful he told you instead of letting it fester ≻ the two of you discuss a plan of action that consists of calling her out.....in public ≻ he can tell you’re pretty pissed about her so he goes along ≻ plus he’s been wanting to give her a piece of his mind as well ≻ so that’s how the three of you wound up in a cafe ≻ with her glaring at you because she thought it was a date with your boyfriend ≻ only for it to all end when bokuto loudly declares that he thinks she’s an awful person and friend for trying to get him to cheat on you with someone like her ≻ she’s so humiliated, she almost starts crying before she curses him out and leaves in a huff

― tooru oikawa.

≻ you were honestly used to girls being all over oikawa ≻ he was a hot, professional athlete ≻ who wouldn’t want to try their luck with someone like him? ≻ but you never thought your friend would be one of those girls ≻ and even worse, you never thought oikawa would be the type to indulge her ≻ you knew he knew who she was ≻ they’d met on several occasions ≻ yet there they were, standing much too close together, giggling as they talked ≻ she placed her hand on his chest and leaned in real close, making you frown ≻ he smiled and shrugged his shoulders at something she said ≻ you were startled when his eyes suddenly found yours, the smile only growing on his face ≻ with a quick motion of his head, he urged you over ≻ you inhaled sharply, steeling yourself ≻ you didn’t want to appear jealous ≻ so you smiled and walked over to the two of them ≻ she still had her hand on his arm, hugging it close to her ≻ “oh hey, babe!” he greeted loudly, making her jump ≻ she glanced over her shoulder and smirked in a way you could only describe as smug ≻ “your friend here was just telling me all about how she thinks she’d be a better match for me and how she thinks you and i should just break up, isn’t that funny?” he chuckles when the girl gasps in shock ≻ “what’s that supposed to mean?” she asks, pouting. ≻ he pulls himself free of her grasp and tosses his arm over your shoulder, “c’mon you can’t be vain enough to think you’re my type, do you? come on. look at my pretty girlfriend here,” he squishes your cheeks together and grins, “you could never compare!” ≻ your ex-friend huffs and storms off, muttering curses under her breath ≻ “thought it might be fun to play a little game with her,” he explains when you raise a brow at him in question.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #ushijima x reader #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #oikawa x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #tetsurou kuroo x reader #koutarou bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #tooru oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #filled.request

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itsdanii · 4 years ago

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Ahhh, your rejecting and regretting series is so good, my heart 🥺❤️ Can you do another one but with kuroo and kenma? You can ignore this request if you don’t wanna do it, I love your writing style and your blog! Stay safe and have a good day! 💞💞

Hey, bub! Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it ♥️ I hope you don't mind me doing this only for Kenma. I got carried away so it got quite longer than I intended 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, here's your request! I hope you like it ♥️ Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! Mwah!

a/n: read the note on the last part.

Rejecting and Regretting 6

genre: angst to fluff

warning/s: cursing, do message me if i missed any

a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. timeskip!kenma kozume

title says it all

Masterlist | Updates

Kenma Kozume

When you moved in to your apartment, you never expected your neighbor to be THE Kenma Kozume

If truth be told, you've been a fan of his ever since he started streaming

You knew that he didn't know you nor would he pay attention to you so you did not bother telling him that you were a big fan - the first one to always comment when he starts streaming

Not only did you think that it may make him uncomfortable but also make him feel like you were only trying to befriend him for his reputation

One night, as you were coming back from a short trip to the grocery store, you were walking with your earphones in and nose pointed on the screen while rewatching one of his videos

What you didn't know was that Kenma was walking behind you and was actually staring as you smiled and giggled while watching

You almost squealed when a hand came on your shoulder, almost punching the person behind you

Oddly, that was the starting point of your friendship

Although Kenma was hesitant at first (duh, you almost punched him) , he slowly eased when he felt that you were genuine

You basically went from neighbors to roommates because of how often you went to his unit, just playing random games and having occasional sleepovers

It wasn't long then when you realized that your "fangirling" towards the streamer developed into something more

You realized that you were no longer looking at him as the Kodzuken of the gaming world but just Kenma Kozume

You knew that you were fucked and thus you tried hiding it, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't

So you came up with a solution - confess. You decided that you would take the leap, confess, and hope that everything would turn out well, not knowing that it was only one sided

You shifted from one foot to another as you waited for Kenma to open the door of his unit.

Earlier, you both planned another sleepover and you took the initiative to cook dinner for the two of you instead of ordering another takeout.

As you waited, you could feel your stomach grumbling as the scent of the freshly baked sushi wafted in the air.

To be honest, you weren't really a good cook but you taught yourself how to with the help of youtube and cookbooks. You weren't even planning on learning how to do it but you were getting bored of takeouts, plus, you also wanted to impress Kenma even for a bit.

When the door finally opened, you smiled widely at Kenma while showing the food you made.

"Told you to not bother knocking and just make your way inside," he muttered before taking the pan from you and letting you in.

"Unlike you, I have my manners, Kozume," you playfully said as you plopped yourself on the couch head first.

Hearing him mumbling something under his breath as he arranged the table, you propped your elbow on the couch to watch him with a small pout playing on your lips. Your eyes followed his every movement and you couldn't help but question how someone could look so perfect.

His hair was a mess in a half bun and he was wearing nothing fancy, just his old sweatpants and a hoodie. Despite that, he still managed to look like a model, specifically those who preferred the "woke up like this" look.

"Y/n, are you going to eat or not?"

You blinked your eyes when you noticed the frown plastered on Kenma's face. Immediately, you stood up and walked over to the table with a small blush on your cheeks after being caught daydreaming.

"Sorry," you said sheepishly.

Kenma's apartment was then filled with the sounds of utensils clanking and small conversations the two of you were sharing.

Even though it seemed like Kenma wasn't paying attention, you knew that he was listening. You were aware of how much he preferred listening and observing more than talking anyway. It's just that you wished that he would talk more around you.

Somewhere in your conversation, you tried hinting your feelings towards him. In fact, you think that it was pretty obvious, but it seemed like Kenma didn't notice - that or he was purposely avoiding to indulge you.

"Getting in a relationship with a fan isn't boring you know? It actually sounds exciting, to be honest."

At that, Kenma heaved a sigh which instinctively made you shut up.

His eyes were already casted on the food infront of him instead of you, eyebrows furrowed as if he was suddenly put in a bad mood. "I dont... really like this topic," Kenma said with a dismissive tone.

You felt your heart drop upon hearing that.

You've already practiced your confession several times and there was no way you'd let such words discourage you that easily. All you knew was that you had to get it out of your chest - now or never.

You placed your utensils down and looked at him straight in the eye despite him trying to avoid your gaze. "Why not, Kozume?" you asked, trying to push him to talk.

"I just don't see the point. Why would you want to date your fan? That's... weird," he simply answered, "What if they don't really like you? There's a high chance that a fan would date their idols because of popularity and fame. It's nothing but a self satisfaction."

"Hmm... I guess you do have a point," you said with a nod.

Placing your elbow on top of the table, chin resting on your palm, you pointed at yourself with your free hand which made Kenma look at you with one eyebrow raised. "Then what if it's me who wants to date you? Im a fan of yours, after all. Would you also reject me?" you asked hopefully.

Without wasting any second, Kenma answered, "Of course. Why would I date you?"

You didn't know how to react upon hearing that. You wanted to believe that he was trying to tease you but there weren't any signs of that from the tone of his voice. Moreover, he had nothing but a serious expression on his face.

"Because I like you," you answered with a low voice.

That simple phrase caused the silence to enevelope the two of you. The anticipation made your hands feel clammy to the point that you had to let go of your utensils to grip the sweatpants your were wearing.

Silently, you stared at each other as if waiting for the other person to break the silence - until Kenma did.

"Well, I don't." Standing up, Kenma took his plate and placed it on the sink, his back turned against you as he continued, "I think I'm going to stream for a bit. Make yourself comfortable."

You stared at Kenma as he made his way to his room wordlessly. "Make myself comfortable? Just who the fuck would say that after rejecting someone?" you muttered under your breath.

Knowing that it would be pointless to distract him while streaming, you started to clean the table and proceeded on washing the plates. As you were doing so, you whispered a curse when a tear suddenly slid down your cheeks.

You weren't supposed to cry. You prepared for this so you should've been able to take the rejection properly, right? He was Kenma Kozume after all. Although you became close with each other, it seemed as if he was really beyond your reach.

And now you ruined the only thing keeping you close to him - your friendship.

You decided to leave his unit after that. You felt that proceeding with the sleepover would only put a tense atmosphere between the two of you. Moreover, he did shut you out, right? Though he told you to make yourself comfortable, the way he acted said otherwise.

Maybe he only said it not to hurt your feelings.

"As if he hadn't already," you murmured, shutting and locking the door behind you.

In hopes of cheering yourself up, you decided to take a warm shower and pamper yourself to he point that skincare products basically littered your vanity when you finished and don't forget the fact that you ended up smelling like a strawberry because of your bodywash.

By the time you went to bed, you were feeling a little better... or were you?

As you laid on your bed, staring at the wall beside you while hugging a pillow close to your chest, your mind suddenly went back to what happened awhile ago.

You thought of how dismissive he seemed towards you. He wasn't always like that. Kenma had always been enthusiastic when you're around. Sometimes you would even end up watching beside him as he streams.

What changed?

Groaning, you buried your face on your pillow when you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Tomorrow will be better," you mumbled against the soft material as you slowly allowed yourself to fall asleep.

It didn't.

In fact, it got worse.

Not only was Kenma avoiding you, he was also acting as if he didn't know you - as if you didn't exist.

Earlier this morning when you were taking the trash out, you waved at him in hopes of lightening up the mood, but instead of usually greeting you, Kenma didn't even spare you a glance. He basically walked pass you without saying anything.

At first, you thought that maybe he didn't see you. Maybe his mind was elsewhere while walking. That could be possible right?

But when it continued for several more days, you realized that he was indeed avoiding you.

You felt a mixture of pain and anger. You were supposed to be the one avoiding him since it was him who rejected you but why was it the other way around? He could've atleast talked to you, let alone smile. Did he not value even just your friendship?

As the days went on, you were slowly getting tired of being the only one to put effort on rekindling your relationship. It was exhausting to keep on chasing over someone who didn't even acknowledged you.

Maybe you were just a bother to him after all.

So despite your will to keep on getting his attention, you decided to stop. If he didn't want you then so be it. You already confessed and did your best to show him that you're genuine. That's all that matters.

Kenma stared at your door beside his intensely, hand mid-air to turn the knob of his own unit.

It had been two weeks since he last saw you and for the third time of the day, he was yet again met with nothing but silence when he tried knocking on your door.

Where were you?

He knew that how he acted towards you was unreasonable but he didn't expected himself to wake up feeling like shit everyday without seeing you. He did this. He pushed you away. He said he didn't like you, right?

Groaning frustratedly, Kenma entered his unit, heading straight to his streaming room to cool off his head. If he couldn't see you personally, then perhaps he could at least see your name on his viewers.

He knew you always watched his stream and how you would always be the first to comment. Sometimes, you would even donate a huge amount of cash as a tip even though you always complained about being broke.

"They're not watching?" Kenma said unconsciously as he noticed how your name wasn't on the list.

That instantly caused a ruckus in his stream's comment section. Several fans kept on asking who Kodzuken was referring to and some even got the right answer since he streamed with you several times already.

But instead of saying anything, Kenma stayed silent. He focused on his game, occasionally shifting his eyes to the comment section and interacting with his fans.

His eyes, however, caught one comment. It was a link with the caption "Isn't this y/n?". Out of curiosity, Kenma decided to check it, finding out that you were indeed the person in the video.

No, it wasn't a video. It was a live stream of someone like him - a player.

And there you were, seated beside the unfamiliar person with a fluffy blanket wrapped around your body and your your head resting on their shoulder.

Who was that and why did you look too comfy?

"Sorry, guys. I'll have to end the stream now. Something important came up," Kenma said with a small wave before ending his stream.

Stalking the other streamer's socials, Kenma frowned upon noticing several pictures of you attached in their instagram. They were even posted just a few days ago which meant that you must've been spending time with them throughout the days you weren't at home.

Something stirred inside Kenma. It was an unpleasant feeling blooming inside his chest, clawing at him and making him realize one important thing.

He was in love with you.

And it was only confirmed when he remembered how nervous he was when you confessed, how scared he was when he heard the door shutting after he rejected you, and how stupid he was for only realizing it now.

"Shit," he whispered to himself as he quickly tapped on his phone, his finger hovering over your number, debating wether or not should he dial.

Suddenly, he shifted his gaze on the monitor of his pc which was still displaying the unfamiliar streamer when he noticed how you snuggled closer to their side.

Muttering anther curse, Kenma clicked on your number, his eyes focused on the montior of his laptop as he watched you picking up your phone.

"Please pick up," he pleaded when he noticed the frown on your face.

It took him a full 5 minutes and several dials to finally make you give in. He watched as you whispered something on the person beside you before making your way out of the room.

On cue, your voice suddenly met his ear.

"Kozume?"

It was still as soft as he could remember and with the fact that he finally admitted his feelings, his cheeks burned when he felt his heart racing.

Say it. Say it.

Say you like her.

"I-" pausing for a moment to rethink his words, Kenma sighed deeply before answering, "I'm sorry for being mean."

Fuck.

He was met with silence from the other side and for a moment, he got scared that you dropped the call.

It was until he heard some rustling sound that he realized you were still there and was purposely trying to stay quiet.

"Can we talk about this in person?" you said with a tiny voice.

Out of panic, Kenma nodded, forgetting that he was ralking to you over the phone and not in person. Mentally smacking himself, he answered, "Yes. I'd prefer that."

And I'd prefer if you're here instead of that caveman's room.

"Then, I'll be there in 20."

The moment Kenma heard someone knocking, he was quick to open the door.

His lips basically parted at the sight of you. It was only two weeks and yet why did it felt like he hadn't seen you in a month?

"Kozu-"

"I'm sorry," he cut you off, arms wrapping around you as soon as you stepped inside his apartment.

He felt how your body became stiff in his hold and without wasting any chance, he poured everything out. "I'm sorry for how I acted towards you. I treated you as if you were the last person I wanted to be with and when I didn't see you for several days, I realized how much I hurt your feelings." He took a deep breath, eyes focusing on you as he gripped your shoulders slightly. "Forgive me? I promise that I'll make it up to you."

Kenma hoped that you could notice the genuineness in his voice. He wasn't the type of person to talk too much but for you, he'd do it if it means having you forgive him and give him another chance.

"It's... alright, Kozume," you answered with a small smile.

"It's alright?" Kenma asked slowly. He knew that he should be happy that you forgave him easily but the way you said it made it seem like you were only forcing yourself.

It's like you didn't mean it.

"W-what do you mean it's alright?" he repeated.

"It means exactly what it means. I don't really see the point of holding a grudge against you, you know? You rejected me and I accepted it." Shrugging your shoulders, you walked pass him and went to sit on the couch. "I guess I just got too ahead of myself. I mean, you're Kenma Kozume, the Kodzuken of the gaming world. It would be impossible for you to like me, right? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my confession."

Kenma swallowed the lump forming inside his throat, eyes darting away from your figure as he shook his head no. "No... That's not true."

"What do yo-"

"I like you. How could you ever think that low of yourself?" he said, finally looking at you before he walking towards your direction. "It's not Kodzuken to you, y/n. Kozume - just Kozume. I don't want you to think that I'm someone all high and mighty just because people acknowledge me. I don't care about that. I want you. I want you to look at me the same way you did before. I want you to keep on clinging to me and to keep on cooking for me despite not knowing how to. I want you to like me again. I just want you.."

You felt your eyes well up with tears. After a long time of pining over someone you thought you wouldn't be able to reach, it was finally here - the moment you finally manage to hear the words you've longed to hear from him.

"D-do you mean that?" you asked with a small sob, your hand covering your face as you felt yourself being lifted and placed on Kenma's lap. "What if you're only saying that to make me feel better?"

"Of course I mean it. I was too stupid being scared of acknowledging my feelings towards you that I ended up rejecting you. I'm sorry." Gently, Kenma rubbed your back as he kept you in his arms, words of apologies continue slipping past his lips as he waited for you to stop crying.

"If I told you I still like you, would you promise not to treat me like shit again?" you asked while wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. "You were really mean to me, Kozu."

"I'd promise," Kenma answered with a nod.

Looking at him, you sniffled one more time. "Then I still like you," you said without taking your eyes off him.

You didn't fail to notice how Kenma's cheeks turned a lighter shade of red and the thought of how he got more flustered by your second confession than the fact that you were seated on his lap made you smile a little.

"Oh," Kenma uttered, as if suddenly not knowing how to react.

"You're supoosed to kiss me like those cliche movies," you said while encircling your arms around his neck.

Kenma's blushed even deeper after hearing that. Gulping, he gave a stiff nod before leaning in and finally planting his lips on yours.

His lips were soft against yours. Despite how tense he was at the beginning, he slowly managed to relax, fingers interlocking with your hair as he kept on moving his lips in synch with yours, both of your eyes closed as you savored the moment.

You felt yourself smiling in your kiss as you realized something - no longer were you just a fan but his s/o.

If you're reading this, hello.

I've decided that this will be the last part of the rejecting and regretting series. Though I had a lot of fun writing these, I'm no longer satisfied with how I'm writing them. The scenes were slowly becoming repetitive as well as the words. I'm craving for something new- something fresh that I've yet to explore. It was quite overwhelming how much people loved this series and I'm very thankful for that so I feel a little bad that this would be the last one. Don't worry, I still have some stuff brewing up that I hope you'd all enjoy.

Thank you so much for the love, support, and most importantly, for reading the series up until this last one. ♥️

1K notes · View notes

twodimecastle · 3 years ago

Text

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid/you #spencer reid/reader #reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #dr spencer reid #my writing #spencer reid fluff

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plutonianrising · 3 years ago

Text

the waiting game n.k.

pairing: nanami kento x f!reader

wc: 2.9k

description: reader has a knack for weaseling her way out of trouble but today nanami's knots are tied tight

a/n: this is incredibly self-indulgent im not sorry though

cw: f!reader, dom!namami, bratty reader, kink exploration, shibari, edgeplay, subspace, degradation, red/yellow/green light system, pwp

MINORS DNI PLS

“Your lack of impulse control is still pretty astonishing though,” Nanami cocks an eyebrow at you. “I doubt you could actually handle holding an orgasm off for 10 minutes let alone 45.”

You work to manage the urge to argue over him and prove his point. Calmly, with the most pleasant smile you could muster, you say “that’s what you’re here for. I promise to tell you when I’m close. Every time. Promise.”

He’s still skeptical of how seriously you’d take this. It’s hard to believe in you when you’re playing with your fingers behind your back and have a familiar wicked glint in your eyes. You had a knack for saying you’d listen well and then changing your mind halfway, opting to get your way just a little bit even if it meant punishment. Still, the sight of you begging for mercy is always a welcome one and the thought of it already makes his pulse jump.

“Alright. But I’m putting some precautions in place.” Nanami tells you. You purse your lips, already feeling like he’s set the game on hard mode.

“Whaaat kind of precautions?” You inquire, squinting.

“I’m restraining you so you can’t touch. This is a good time to start breaking that bad habit. Don’t you think so?” He smiles conspiratorially. It dawns on you now that you shouldn’t have come in so hot, boldly suggesting 45 minutes during your first real attempt at it. “Go ahead and sit on the bed and wait for me. I’m going to freshen up and get everything ready.”

Nanami sends you off with a searing kiss and a smack on your ass that leaves you giggling as you head to his bedroom. It’s small moments like these that you can’t help but wish for more of. The speed in which you pack your bags to sleep over whenever he has even a little bit of time off would be embarrassing if he were anyone else. But he’s Nanami and here, for your eyes only, Kento gets to fully be himself. Goofier than he’ll ever let on and a very specific brand of annoying that means he’s incredibly dependable but also eats your desserts while commenting on how they were much too sweet for him.

When he’s back in the room you’re already undressed and sitting at the edge of the bed. The perfect picture of obedience with your hands clasped in your lap as you patiently waited for his return. He’s half dressed in a tight shirt and boxer briefs that show off his toned leg muscles. In his hands is a smooth black rope. His eyes seem to glow with hunger as he takes you in.

This isn't the first time he’s used these ties on you. You can still remember the tingle of excitement that shot through you after finding out that bondage was one of his favorite kinds of play. Even outside of the sexual aspect of it, he’s making it one of yours. It’s a loving act. One full of devotion and precise calculation. There’s always complete and utter focus in his eyes as he slides the rope against your skin. His work is neat and even, with your safety at top priority. With a rope wound tight enough to bite your flesh and steal your breath if you fought too hard, you give Nanami your full trust. And once he has it, he has the power to make you feel like a masterpiece. You’re reminded of this power as he caresses his work. Rope winds around your torso with a slight emphasis on your arms. Soon enough your arms are crossed and caged against your chest. Nanami tugs the final knot at the center of it and stares into your eyes as you try to keep your composure.

“How does it feel?” He whispers and you think that he must know that it feels perfect. You curse the way he wets his lips and smirks slightly.

He must have a book hiding somewhere.

“It feels good Kento.” You whisper, wriggling around a bit as he then spreads your knees apart. Nanami hums in satisfaction.

“Relax for me.” He says, reminding you to keep you still as he presses down on your thigh, strong hands deftly moving to immobilize your left leg with the black rope in a frogtie.

“How am I supposed to do that?” You complain, still squirming as his touch warms your skin. Have his hands always been so large, his touch so insistent?

“Or don’t. But it’ll be your skin rubbed raw after. Not mine.” Nanami warns. “My best work only comes from your cooperation. Remember?”

You huff but keep your thoughts to yourself. Instead you focus on the tight muscles of Nanami’s arms rippling under his shirt. He knots your right leg, and you flush at how stretched apart you are. Your only source of modesty comes from your hands covering your chest and they flex and unflex as your head starts to catch up with what happens next. You kick yourself for agreeing to being tied up, wanting nothing more than to touch him. You take your lips between your teeth slightly as you catch his gaze raking down your figure. Nanami slowly runs a few fingers over you. He travels upward from your bare thighs past your hips and traces feather soft patterns on your stomach. You can’t help the way your legs twitch when he finally dips his fingers lower and presses against your pussy, stroking you.

“Give me a color sweetheart.”

“Green.” You whimper. “Please kiss me.” Nanami seems to consider it for a moment but removes his touch completely from you instead.

“Be good for me and you’ll get as much of me as you want.”

“Don’t you think you should start the clock before you get me all riled up?” You protest as he places the bullet vibrator and a spare pillow in between your legs, the toy nuzzled snug right against your clit. “I deserve a fair chance.”

“Oh so now you’re the only one allowed to cheat and bend rules?” He quips with a teasing smile. You have no retort for that but mostly because Kento has turned on the vibrator. Your hips buck against the toy and pillow on impulse at the abruptness and you glare at Nanami who shushes you and begins to speak over the quiet buzz.

“Since it’s your first time edging we’ll start with 25 minutes, starting now. Whenever you get close you need to tell me. And if you cum before you��ve gotten permission then that’ll just have to be it until my next off weekend.”

“Your… next weekend off?” You would’ve screamed if half of your attention wasn’t on the powerful vibrations sending pleasure ricocheting through your body. “We don’t even.. Know.. when that is.”

“I know right? I would hate to leave my love desperate for so long with no clear end in sight just because she couldn’t commit to something she asked for in the first place.” Nanami fakes a pout and you want to bite him. It was bad enough he was threatening to really make you wait so long to touch him without bringing your pride into it.

Nanami watches the way your lips part and pupils dilate as you struggle to remain in control of your reactions. Your hips jump every so often, the rope biting into the soft flesh of your legs. When your soft moans begin escalating and you look to him desperately, trying to decide for yourself if you can handle anymore, it takes more strength than he’d like to admit to not touch himself at the sight of you. He makes the decision for you, and your head lolls a bit as you try to catch your break.

The waves of your demise creep up on you quicker after that. Again and again Kento brings you right to the edge, turning up the intensity of the vibrator after each break he allows you in between.

“I can’t- Kento I’m-” You moan, your voice crescendoing and your eyes screwing shut. You can’t help the way you rock against the pillow even after the vibrator stops and the orgasm that had built within you started to fade.

“Who told you that you could hump the pillow? That’s a pretty pathetic attempt at trying to get what you want.” Nanami chides from his seat.

Your face heats in embarrassment and you avert your eyes a bit. “It wasn’t on purpose.”

“Doesn’t that make it worse?” He laughs cruelly and lets his eyes rake over your body. “Filthy little slut can’t even control her own body?”

Kento gets up and comes closer, placing a gentle hand on your thigh. His touch was soft, but it was a reminder of the kind of damage he could inflict.

“Stop. Moving.” He warns you coolly, dark eyes narrowing. His ever-deepening well of patience was scary at times but right now you’re grateful for the mercy, needing chance after chance to prove you could make it.

It’s gotten to the point that the lightest of touches make you feel like you’ll succumb and let all your hard work go to waste. You’re almost thankful your nipples are off the table for this play.

“Kento- Kento please I really am gonna-” You whimper, your chest heaving. You feel like any more of this and you’ll start drooling.

“You won’t.” Kento answers.

The commanding bass of his voice makes your senses jump and you panic, barely managing to yelp out another “Kento please” and feel the toy shut off before you’re sent careening off the edge. Your muscles feel tight and your skin sweaty by this point. You can’t tell if Kento is more focused on the heaving of your chest or the way your fingers flex and unflex to try and alleviate the strain of keeping your focus.

“God..how long has it-” You try to speak once it feels like you can breathe a bit again. Nanami smirks at the way your head lolls to one side and your eyes lazily work to focus on him.

“You’ve officially hit 20 minutes, sweetheart. Only 5 more to go.”

“Do you realize how fucking drenched you are baby?” He smirks, pulling your pussy apart slightly to get a better look. “Makes me want to forget all about this and make you fall apart with my tongue a few times. You’d like that, wouldn't you?”

“Don’t.. Don’t say that. The rule is I can’t for another 5.” You force yourself to remember and steel your resolve. You know he’s really just testing you at this point, seeing if you’ll break under his pressure.

“Good girl” He purrs, soothing the small pout off your lips with distracting kisses on your thighs. “The more you control yourself the more I know I can trust you.”

You so badly want him to trust you. Looking down at Kento spoil you while teetering on the edge makes you dizzy. He could tell you to do anything at this point and you’d probably listen if it meant he would indulge you more. Your head swims with the possibility that he’ll treat you like this again if you do well.

Nanami moves aside the pillow and vibrator, replacing the toy with his own hand before you can get upset with him. The gasp that escapes you fills him with pride. All it takes is a slight touch to make your body completely tremble. You can’t actually tell that the alarm has gone off until he whispers how well you’ve done for him.

“See? Didn’t I tell you good girls get everything they want? Now you get to cum all over my fingers all you want.”

Your body is almost afraid to finally let go, so used to feeling coiled up tight that you feel like you might not be able to. Kento senses the struggle within you and softens his touch to bring down the intensity for you just a bit.

“You did it, you deserve this sweetheart.” He presses open-mouthed kisses up your neck, knowing full well the onslaught of praise would send you over. Sure enough, a noise from deep inside of you wells up in your throat as you’re sent crashing over the edge. You throw your head back and try to close your legs only to be stopped by Nanami’s hands, hell-bent on making you ride it out. Your hands clench borderline painfully, your arms testing your restraints. You can’t even plead with him. The pleasure erupting from you, for once, has stolen your voice.

Testing the water, Kento lets a bit of spit fall from his lips. You catch it on your tongue, staring at him lovingly with hazy, unfocused eyes and he almost loses his mind.

“There’s my sweet girl.” He purrs. Nanami knows you’ll be completely compliant now, dredging through subspace. You won’t be giving any coherent remarks outside of anything he commands of you now, all resistance and witty one-liners fading to static in your mind. “Been so good for me today that I actually get to reward you.”

You whine in appreciation. Chest swelling with pride, you bask in his praise. You initially thought it was more fun to see his eyes turn icy when you spent a half a session acting up in order to get punished into this headspace but you could get used to having Nanami painstakingly coax it out of you.

“Tell me your color, my love.” Nanami kisses your forehead, to remind you, first and foremost, that he doesn’t want anything if it doesn’t mean you and he are sharing the pleasure, even if you could only think about how good you wanted to make him feel.

“Green.. hehe..definitelyygreen.” Your words slightly slurred together as you tried to prove your focus.

“So, sweetheart, what do you want me to give you in return?” He leans down and whispers in your ear, rubbing your thighs soothingly. You have to think for a moment to actually get the words out, trying to get your brain to be more specific than Kento, Kento, Kento.

“Wantt… want to touch you.. And I… want you inside.” You strain against your ties, not even minding the slight bite of the ropes at this point if it meant he would free you faster.

Nanami lets you place ardent kisses against his skin as he undoes the restraints on your arms and you're thankful to finally, finally, get some contact with him. His skin burns with desire as you pull him onto you. He has half a mind to really pry another orgasm from you with his head between your thighs but the growing ache between his expels the thought. He hastily twists out of his clothes and back onto you. You’ve waited long enough for what’s yours.

Nanami enters you slowly, softly pulling your still-tied legs further apart. You will your eyes not to screw shut, trying to put forth some effort to meet his searing gaze. Neither of you really register the way your nails slightly dig into his forearms from the pressure. The pace Kento sets is torturous. He makes you savor every roll of his hips into yours. It almost feels like he’s squeezing the pleasure out of you. There’s nowhere to run. There’s only him.

There’s no warning when you cum again, your body completely bypassing your brain in the decision. It’s a rush of heat and an uncontrollable tremble. You can barely even recognize your own voice calling out his name. As you squeeze tighter around him, Nanami grunts and wills himself not to bend your legs forward and fuck hard into you until you’re a teary mess. There will be other times for that. Today he just wants to spoil his sweet girl for her efforts to please.

“Where do you want me to cum?” He asks, like he’s not literally fucking the words right out of your brain. If you still had the energy for it you’d bite him.

“Kento please. In...inside… ” Obviously. You keep that snide bit to yourself. There’s no real desire to sass him when he’s making your body shake this badly.

Kento grabs onto your wrists like he’s anchoring himself to you. Through the haze dusting your mind you register his pace getting sloppier and the soft moans that fall from his lips as he finishes inside of you.

It took a bit for Kento’s strength to return to him and a little while longer to pry his eyes off of your blissed out expression. He whispered for you to let go of him so he could take care of you. Shushing your whines, he pries your fingers off of him so he can untie you. He still needs to run the bath and start some tea for you and if he spends any more time in your arms he would fall asleep right next to you without properly performing his duties.

Once he’s back from prepping, Nanami lifts you from the bed and begins to carry you to the bathroom, kissing your forehead and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. With your head clearing slightly, you can fully feel the effects of your win on your ego.

With hooded lids and a proud smirk plastered on your lips you say, “is it too late to add a shopping trip to my rewards?”

#nanami kento #nanami smut #jujutsu kaisen fic #nanami x y/n #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #nanami jujutsu kaisen #micco.fics

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