#so if this woman is not willing to be flexible to apply this program to a completely novel setting

[banannabethchase]

Tomorrow I have to have a Very Stern and Very Serious conversation with a woman who could be my grandmother because she's trying to tell my student teacher to violate my kids' IEPs and federal special ed requirements (the woman is in her 70s and hasn't taught since literally 1995). I am scared because She Is An Elder and my stupid Catholic upbringing taught me to respect elders or whatever the fuck.

I respect my students and the law more than I respect this lady. Bring it on

[eatmangoesnekkid]

The Kill: To Come Fully Alive in Your Female Body is to Know How to Give Death Like a Country Woman Who Knows How to Process Her Home-Grown, Organically-Raised Chickens When It's Time

How I Reprogram My Cells With New Narratives Using My Imagination and After Care (My Gift to Readers On Tumblr)

I'm almost 48 years old and every month my body releases a healthy beautiful egg because it is still trying to have a big chunky baby.

I'm not peri-menopausal yet but will be using this year to reprogram my tissues with new narratives around menopause beyond the dehydrating stories I can feel trapped in my female line. The keycode here is that it takes time so you must begin now....early.

I'm deeply a strategic and proactive woman in all my fairy playfulness and do not dissociate from any cycle of my body or womanhood in any way. Instead I spend time reprogramming my cells and lovingly planting new narratives into my body, in this case, around the experience of menopause. No doctor will prescribe pills or other substances for my natural female cycles that I have already falling in love with. The keycode here is that your love for the process is essential.

I find comfort in the present moment and I also find comfort in imagining and projecting into the future. I do not fear menopause. I do not hold common expectations that it will be difficult or dry out my pussy or my libido will fall as the culture teaches. I am clear that I won't need hormonal medication. I consciously use my energy to envision myself in the details of what I desire in life as a radiant, flexible, wet, high libido, sassy, symptom-free menopausal woman. But I don't just envision, I feel the emotions of being radiant, flexible, wet, etc. OUR EMOTIONS CONNECT US INTO THE UNIVERSE.

I am often lightyears ahead of what we call "time." Ancient-future. I am planting cosmic seeds now BEFORE my menopause years and continue to take action in the desired direction through staying active and continuing to work on my flexibility and inner beauty—forgiving, clearing, letting go, and dreaming. “Yoh, the fuck you mean ‘wait and see, ’” I thought to myself after a woman waiting in line with me at the airport said that menopause will be the worst time of my life. I responded back in the gentlest manner, " Ma'am, my menopause will not be difficult and I will not feel hot nor lose my high libido.” Haha I said that to her and continued, “I'm not an average woman and anm already programming my future menopausal years in which I rest well at night and wake up aroused for the day. I appreciate your well-intentioned words but they do not apply to me nor do I consent to that experience. I’m such a weird one—not regular. Never been.” The keycode here is that you must be willing to cut people off at the neck who subtly lead life from a victimized position about their own bodies and attempt to place that same energy onto you, even with well-meaning intentions. She was a lovely woman otherwise —and I knew she meant well but I also knew that she giving me feedback on what lives deep in my body, in the hidden and unconscious. I can’t see it but I felt it in our interaction. Therefore I wasn’t really metaphorically cutting HER neck off. I was starting the journey of severing the part of my female lineage that feels the same way as she does. I will repeat this process over and over again in my imagination, then begin the journey of self-soothing my tissues and nervous system with lots of intentional massage, juicing, and rest. What we give death to is still a valuable part that our psyches will miss interacting with, a part that up to now has made us feel safe and held. Lots of self-soothing and letting our tissues know that we will be okay without this aspect of self are essential after care.

I always ask the earth for support and speak my desires into the orange trees as I'm picking fruit, walking through a park, or hiking. The keycode here is that you need initiate support from another divine authority, whether nature, God, your ancestors, etc.

I permit myself to see my future menopausal self being juicy and abundant.

I have always lived my life this way--often 2-3 steps ahead of the game, laughing and playing a lot along the way.

Too many women and other female bodied people are stuck and trapped by the trauma they have programmed to believe about themselves (their cells). It's important that you remember who you are--a magical woman and experience this reality lightheartedly, playfully, and magically accordingly. The keycode here is that your playfulness and lightheartedness help to release any resistances. They become your fuel and battery propelling you forward into your next level or landing you directly into a quantum leap.

Maybe you aren’t concerned about menopause yet but you can apply these key codes to any other aspects of your life. --India Ame'ye, Author

[nad-zeta]

Match up 🌈

Hi Zeta! Could I get a matchup for Ikesen, please? :3c Basic info: Sagittarius sun (I relate mostly to the truth-seeking, philosophical side of Sag), Gemini moon (addicted to gathering information), Libra rising (just coming off as a nice person on first meeting). INFP, Hufflepuff.

I’m very concerned with ethics and can have a quick temper about perceived injustices; I often feel upset about human and animal suffering, and I’m willing to throw down over someone being hurtful to others. On the downside, I probably have too much pride about my intelligence and also get angry if I feel like someone is talking down to me or dismissing my concerns.

Self-evaluation and change are very important to me. I can never be perfect about how I respond to people, but with experience and loss comes wisdom, and I’ve worked to have more restraint in the way I talk to people even when I’m angry. Even if I’ll never be 100% fair and still make mistakes, I keep thinking about how to do better and trying.

I often spend time listening to people with no outward judgment, so friends, acquaintances, and co-workers are able to feel that I accept and respect them, and I can set people at ease. It’s important to me to be a good listener and to respond in a way that is helpful and supportive for a person’s specific struggles.

My career is in education, currently tutoring college writing & study skills and supervising a peer-turoring program. I love reading about how the brain works and will soon be applying to a graduate program for Learning Sciences. I’m also fascinated with the science of human behavior and relationships.

My undergraduate degree was in English with a focus in creative writing, though with my interest in education now, writing is more of a hobby (that I often avoid). I enjoy sketching as well.

Other than the temper, weak points are a lifelong struggle with depression/anxiety/self-esteem and a tendency to get paralyzed and demotivated by how much I’m already falling short of my standards. I procrastinate a lot and feel like I should be doing more to help people.

I love cats (especially my cat, of course) and pandas. Like a panda, I’m vegetarian and often feel like I have no energy fjsjdnfnwnncjf.

Although I don’t have any firm belief in a higher power or the supernatural, I’m not willing to rule out the idea that spiritual beings / phenomena exist. They haven’t been scientifically proven, but they haven’t been disproven, either!

And uh, I’m bi/pan (grew up identifying as bi so it’s hard to let go of the label even though pan probably fits better) and polyamorous, although outside of an established relationship, I have very little interest in sex. I am also biracial (white/Asian). With all of that, it can be hard to feel like I’m really “at home” anywhere. But I think it helps with having a flexible perspective about diversity.

Oof! That was a lot! Thank you for reading all of it and thank you for being so generous with your time in writing match-ups!

Hi dear! Thank you so much for the request and sorry for making ya wait sooooo long hehe🙈😅! Awww girl I love writing these matchups, so its no problem! I hope you enjoy it and I hope you have the best day!  (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

So I match you with……Hideyoshi

So the first time the two of you really interacted all hell broke loose. You were brought back to the castle by Masamune and was presented before Nobunaga. He had declared that you were to be the new Oda princess. You honestly had a problem with that as you didn’t want to feel like you were a burden or well that you owed them anything, so you insisted Nobunaga give you a real job to earn your keep. The man found you most amusing, not only had you fearlessly saved his life, but here you were, now before him unpleased with being a princess, a title most people in the country would kill for. He gave you his classic smirk “Very well then lucky charm, I shall name you as our new castle chatelaine.” You nodded in satisfaction at that, and just before you could start to relax, you felt someone’s gaze burning a hole through you. 

You turned over to see Nobu’s right-hand man glaring at you, if looks could kill you would be dead, and TBH you were starting to lose your temper with these men. It wasn’t until Hideyoshi said something that made you go off the handle “My lord, I don’t trust this woman, who is to say she won’t kill you in your sleep, or that she was the one  responsible for the fire in the first place.” At that, you scoffed and rolled your eyes “Why would I set a building on fire just to save the dude I am supposedly trying to kill.” Before anyone knew it, you and Hideyoshi were at each other throats. Both of you were being pulled apart by the fellow warlords before things escalated too quickly. Finally, Nobunaga set Hideyoshi straight and dismissed you from the council room to acquaint yourself with the castle

You kept your head down and worked hard, and you were most definitely loved by all the castle staff. You seemed to look past their titles and statuses and got to know them as people, they loved that you never judged them and that you would always be there for them, a friendly ear to listen to their problems and concerns, while giving good constructive advice. This trait of you had also earned you a lot of respect among the warlords, and soon you became quite good friends with most of them. Mitsunari and Ramnaru in particular.

TBH you loved the little angel Mitsunari, as the two of you would often bond over your love for books, reading and knowledge. He loved studying the art of war while you loved learning about people, their brains, behaviours and their relationships. Everyone absolutely adored you, well, all but Hideyoshi. 

But that all ended one day when Mitsunari asked if you would like to help him. Mitsunari needed someone who could assist him during the soldiers training drills, and you were all too happy to assist. You sat beside him and helped him with the paperwork. You had noticed that the chain of command would break and that certain people would be better suited for other units. During your lunch break, Hideyoshi walked up to you and Mitsunari, and you voiced your concerns. He looked at you dumbfounded, how did a woman know so much about human relationships and behaviour. Mitsunari chimed in and very excitedly stated that, he had seen you study the human brain and the science of their behaviours and relationships. Hideyoshi thought for a moment then nodded, “Okay then, show me in which unit you think these men would be best suited”. They continued their training drills, and by the end of it, Hideyoshi was Hella impressed with you!

He wanted to trust you, he really did, but he was caught between duty and his own emotions. That was until one day. On a whim, Nobunaga decided to bring his lucky charm with him to battle. You were hesitant at first but going to war with the Oda’s meant that you wouldn’t have time to procrastinate and that you would have a golden opportunity to help people. You had been studying medicine for a while now, as Ieyasu had joined your and Mitsunari’s book club. 

The two of you work together patching up injured soldiers all afternoon and judging by the influx of wounded men things weren’t looking too good. That night you had helped Masamune with making supper for everyone. You had stood in front of the big pot, scooping the rice dish into everyone’s bowls when you noticed something peculiar. Hideyoshi was holding out his bowl with his left hand. This was strange as he was right-handed and would usually hold it out with his dominant hand. You made a mental note of his behaviours and watched him as everyone ate. That’s when you noticed that he wasn’t using his dominant arm at all. 

Once everyone had retired for the night, you pulled the warlord aside and confronted him. He led you to his tent and unwrapped his arm showing you his wound. You were shook, it was a deep cut across the length of his arm. You lost your temper at the sight “How stupid could you be hiding a severe wound like that, what if I got infected, what if you bled out.” As you ranted about all the possible what-ifs of him not seeking medical treatment sooner, you had him sit down and started gently cleaning and bandaging the wound. 

He had realized at that moment that you were a genuinely kind woman and that he most definitely could trust you. And at that moment you saw something that melted away all your anger, worry and frustration. Hideyoshi’s genuine smile. It was absolutely radiant. Like the sun coming up from the horizon in the morning.

Since that day Hideyoshi was a completely different person towards you. He would often invite you to his manor to help him clean and care for the deep gash on his arm. Once his arm was healed, he would invite you to ask your opinion about different soldiers behaviour and relationships, and where you thought them best suited. Honestly, any excuse just to see you and chat with you. Soon your tea date moved to the local tea houses, and you found yourself enjoying Hideyoshi’s company more and more. He loved the way your eyes would light up when you talk about your interests in science and the human brain. He loves how you cared so much for people and animals and couldn’t stand injustice

In fact, one day as the two of you were walking around the market together, you spotted a group of men bullying a poor defenceless cat. Your blood was boiling, and in an instant, you were there to rescue the cat from the men. Luckily for you, Hideyoshi was hot on your trail, as it had slipped your mind that people in this era carried around weapons. After Hideyoshi fought off the men, he looked over at you to see you cradling the cat in your arms. His heart melted, even more so when you gave him the puppy dog eyes asking if you could keep the poor little thing. Honestly, he could never say no to you. Both you and Hideyoshi had long ago fallen in love with each other, but both of you were just low key to shy to admit it

He decided one day that he just had to tell you how he felt, so he planned out a romantic dinner for the two of you. He made sure to prepare all your favourite vegetarian dishes. As the two of you ate, you could tell something had been bothering him. After dinner, the two of you went outside to sit and enjoy the warm summer breeze. This was the moment Hideyoshi decided to blurt out all his feeling for you. You simply smiled at the silly man and kissed him, returning the feelings.

The two of you made the cutest couple, like you, Hideyoshi love, love loved to help people. He is known as the doting mother hen after all. One of the qualities he loved most about you is your kind heart. Often he would go with you and assist you in teaching the street children how to read and write. He would often steal glances at you and smile at you. He loved how sweet, gentle and patient you were towards the children. You never lost your temper with them, and they loved you so much, they loved that they could come to you with their problems, you would always provide them with helpful and supportive advice which they really appropriated

You loved to spend time with Hideyoshi. Even if that meant being in the same room and doing your own thing. You would often sit in his room and sketch while he worked on admin. You loved the way his eyes lit up, and the bright smiles he would give you, whenever you showed him your finished work. He loved your sketches, and he would often low key steal them and hang them up in his room on full display for all to see your beautiful talent

Anxiety and depression is no problem for this doting mother. Whenever you are having an anxiety attack or going through s depression spell, he will be sure to be, right by your side to support you throughout it. He will pull you into his arms and just hold you, whispering reassuring words in your ears. He knows you have a tendency to be too harsh on yourself and hold yourself at a ridiculously high standards. He will spend hours just rubbing soothing circles on your back and whisper sweet nothings in your ears. This man will dote on you so hard that your anxiety and depression would be soothed as quick as they manifested.

Hideyoshi’s all-time favourite is just holding you in his arms for hours and hours as you read to him, the newest piece of your creative writing or tell him the newest fun fact you had learned from your studies. He loves nothing more than to spend a quiet evening with you cradled in his arms sharing sweet kisses as the two of you exchange stories of each others day

Other Potential matches……………. Ieyasu 

I hope you enjoyed it, love! (◠‿◠✿)❤🌼

[antistudyblr]

things i learned during my second year of college

It’s been a year and change since my last post and I’ve had an absolutely amazing year. There’s been ups and downs but after having finished half my undergrad career, I feel like I’m starting to come into myself. We’ve still got a long way to go but I’ve learned so much and I’m looking forward to the next two years!!

You’re going to regret something about college. You get to decide what that is. My sister gave me this advice when I was trying to decide whether I should double major. Choosing to do that meant I would miss out on taking fun classes in interests outside my major but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t get to write a thesis and I wouldn’t get to study Race & Ethnicity Studies as deeply as I wanted to. This doesn’t just apply to academics though. If you decide to party instead of study, you won’t get as much out of your classes as you should but if you only study, those are also experiences you’re missing out on. If you don’t work, you won’t get that experience on your resume but if you do, you have less time for everything else. So on and so on and so on. Be aware when you make a decision of what you’re missing out on and remember: you only have four years and you can’t do everything.

Don’t buy your books before the first day of class!!! (I didn’t follow my own advice and ended up with something I didn’t need)

Be there for first years. After a year of friendlessness and loneliness, I found some amazing friends in the first year class of the clubs of which I’m a member. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t taken time to listen to these kids freaking out about the same things I was a year ago, give them advice when I could and try to be a friend without expectations of anything else. This can be draining and you have to take care of yourself in the process but be willing to give and you meet some truly amazing, caring people.

You find friends where you least expect it. I thought one first year was the most annoying person I’d ever met until I took some time to talk to them one-on-one. I realized they were just a more anxious version of myself and in need of a little guidance. We’re now super close and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Ask for extensions! Seriously, it doesn’t matter whether or not you have a “good” reason, most professors are incredibly understanding. Don’t abuse it and try your best to get things done on time but also life happens. The worst thing that can happen is they say no and you’re no better or worse off than you were before. Try to ask at least 24 hours in advance if at all possible.

Similarly, it’s better to turn things in late than not at all. I don’t think I turned a single assignment in on time second semester because I’m a human disaster. I’m not saying you should follow my example, but also most professors are flexible. I’d rather wait a few hours and turn in a complete assignment than turn in a piece of garbage on time. If you know you’re going to be late, ask for an extension!

Use your connections and ask for help. I got my first (amazing and PAID) internship through a close friend. Was it shameless nepotism? Yes! Would I trade it for the world? No!! It can be hard to reach out to others for help but take advantage of offers from friends, professors, and others in your life, whether they’re helping you find a job, get published or giving advice for grad school apps. It’s so so worth it. 

Fellowships! Fellowships are programs that provide (usually) funding and other programming to develop specific skills and/or allow you to explore a research topic. There are fellowships for graduates and undergrads, for STEM and humanities, for niche academic subfields or even just those who want to travel. I didn’t know this was a thing until I applied for a humanities fellowship program earlier his year and now I’ve received funding to research my personal academic interest and guidance toward grad school. Most schools have offices to help students find these opportunities; you should definitely look into them and apply! It’s money just sitting around waiting for you.

Drop that class/club/those extra hours! Sometimes you overestimate how much you can handle in a semester. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means you want to dedicate yourself fully to your commitments instead of stretching yourself too thin and that’s valid. Adjust your plans accordingly to make sure you finish all your requirements while still taking care of yourself.

Living with your friends is very different than living with a stranger. I shared a room with my best friend from freshman year and it was hard. We loved each other but living with someone exposes all the things they might not have wanted you to see. You see them at their lowest, have to get used to their worst habits and you can’t get away from it because you’re living together. You have to talk to one another and give yourself space when needed or by the end of it all, your friendship could suffer. (My friend and I are fine! A friend of mine was not so lucky.)

All things heal with time and space. I ended my first year with a devastating break-up that I thought I’d never get over. The summer away from school was hard but I had time to process what happened and come to terms with how she’d treated me. I realized getting dumped wasn’t my fault. I was able to return with my head high and with new knowledge of the kind of person I want to date (and the kind of person I am.)

Speak up for yourself and others. I’m on the e-board of a highly demanding club and took on an editor position at a student publication. Doing this has been grueling but I’ve been able to shape them into spaces that are more accessible to low-income students, more welcoming to LGBTQ+ and POC students, and all around more effective. When people were treating me or people I knew poorly, I spoke with others with more power and influence to express my concerns and changes were made, improving the environment for myself and others.

College is a time for questioning. You will figure yourself out, but maybe not on the schedule you want. I’ve spent years trying to figure out what my identity as a mixed-race queer Latina woman means. College has helped me immensely and, after a lot of reading, discussions and soul-searching, I’m starting to figure out how I feel about my racial identity, sexuality, and upbringing, including the labels that I can wear most comfortably. It hasn’t been easy and I wish I could have been done with this type of introspection like three years ago but I’m not there yet. That’s fine. I’m getting there and so will you.

I hope this all makes sense but if you have any questions or need some elaboration, please let me know!

[irontechdollfactory]

5 Tips For Disabled Men To Improve Their Sex Life

Did you know that approximately 10% of the world’s population represents persons with disability? Well, while disability numbers are significantly high in developing countries, and disability rates higher in females as compared to males, being disabled simply qualifies you in the world’s largest marginal group. According to the United Nations Development Program (UNDP), disability rates are expected to escalate as one’s age advances, in fact, in developing countries, 25% of the population have at least one form of disability. The continued increase in the number of disabled persons can be attributed to factors such as:

Increase in the number of ageing persons, most of whom have impairments. Estimated increase in the number of disabled minors especially in developing nations due to factors such as child labor, malnutrition, and disease prevalence. Effects of war and conflicts on children. Three out of four children that encounter armed conflicts, acquire an enduring form of disability. Disability is closely linked to poverty especially in developing economies. The less privileged people are more susceptible to disability owing to the fact that they lack access to quality medical care, nutrition, sanitation and are in most cases subjected to poor working conditions. Acquiring disabilities under such conditions worsens the situation as it creates obstacles that limit the access to education, public services, and employment that could help them evade poverty.

Disabled Mans’ Sex Lives While sex is vital to the wellbeing of a person, people tend to think that the this does not apply to the disabled. Actually, people with a disability tend to feel unappealing and less worthy of intimate relationships, as they picture themselves unable to live up to the idealized image set by the society. Worse still is when disability kicks in later in life, the person compares their past and their present feeling greatly unappealing. Disabled stereotypes worsen the stigma that overwhelms sex and disability. Such myths include:

People with disabilities don’t require sex Sex must be unplanned with a set time. The topic of sex and disability is overrated Sex between the disabled isn’t ‘real sex’ Persons with disabilities are not sexually attractive Persons with disabilities do not require sexual education Other needs surpass sex in disabled persons People with disabilities should not have children. So what about disabilities and sex life? Well, a disability is simply a physical or mental impairment that hinders one movement, sensitivity, and judgment. Diseases that hinder sex function, affect mobility, impair memory and medications that initiate sexual dysfunction are examples of ailments the affect disabled men sex life. Just like any other, disabled men sex life has been continuously disregarded and the physical and mental benefits that sex brings overlooked. While the topic is greatly talked about, delving deep into the challenges that disabled people face while striving to live a satisfying sex life just like everyone else has been assumed not only in the public but also in the medical profession.

Disabled people require a great deal of assistance to live satisfying sex lives, and with the stigma that continues to surround disability and sex, the issue has over the years been overlooked and avoided. For instance, while it might be very easy and comfortable for a person to offer a hand in the bathroom, the same person will feel squeamish about offering assistance in the bedroom to a disabled person. The whole process of ensuring a good sex life among the disabled requires a hoard of resources as well as training of caregivers to enable them to understand and help the disabled’s sexual needs.

The struggle to live a satisfying sex life for the disabled gets more challenging when one is living in shared environments especially with a relative. The attitude of the people around the disabled greatly affects their sexual needs especially when the people have no training and education to handle their sexual needs. Without a change of attitude on sexual needs for the disabled, those living in shared homes will continue being deprived of a basic need in their lives.

Why It’s Important For Disabled Men To Have More Sex Disability can have a great effect on disabled men sex life. However, the same hurdles that the disabled encounter are the same that those with an active sex life face: self-esteem, confidence, overpowering bodily and psychological aspects of having sex and getting a partner. Disability can greatly build hindrances to your sex life but coming up with measures that cope up with the situation and adapting new ways of having sex can ensure that the disabled men sex life remains unaffected. While some disabilities can lead to loss of physical responsiveness around the genitals which can be a big blow to disabled men sex life, through creative sexual activities, they can still achieve, pleasure, closeness and even orgasm. In such a scenario, talking to a medical practitioner can help improve disabled men sex life by identifying the various ways to have erogenous pleasure without involving the genital area. Ranging from touching body areas such as cheeks, the ears, the neck, the back and the hand to using different scents or sounds, outer course is a great way to enhance disabled men sex life without necessarily exchanging body fluids.

Publications such as the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority’s Supporting Sexual Health and Intimacy in Care Facilities contain manuals and procedures that seek to educate and guide clinicians in assisting the disabled patients and assist them to have a satisfying sex life. Though there is some discomfort that comes with advising or helping someone to have intimacy, such publications have been instrumental in educating the caregivers of the modifications in the sexuality of the disabled and has greatly inspired an appreciation of the fact that the caregivers actually play a vital part in enhancing a satisfying sex life.

Just like people having an active sexual life, those having a disabled sex life want a satisfying intimate life. Having a disability might qualify sex as the last things that one thinks of, especially for patients with spinal cord injuries or other disabilities that limit your flexibility and mobility. While this might be the case in some, there still is a good number of disabled men who strongly believe that disability should not curtail their ability to enjoy a fruitful sex life. With the disabled slightly disadvantaged in the dating world, disabled men sex life can be enhanced through a few measures that revolve towards lessening the stigma associated with disability and sex and ensuring more sex. Such factors include: finding a fellow disabled partner, joining disabled persons’ social groups, purchasing a realistic sex doll(s), signing up for online dating sites for the disabled and patronizing brothels.

1. Finding a fellow disabled partner

Definitely the ideal way to spice up the disabled men sex life seeing that they are disadvantaged in the traditional dating world, marrying a fellow disabled partner means that the couple understands each other’s disorder and are willing to go that extra mile to live a satisfying sex life. While it might be daunting where one partner is not disabled, having both partners as disabled fosters confidence as both parties are on the same page which inspires some degree of motivation and initiative.

Marrying a fellow disabled partner is also important in diffusing the frustrations that may arise when trying to enjoy sex. Disabled men sex life is one that is full of challenges, requiring special resources and assistance, the last thing a disabled man wants is a partner that is not appreciative of his efforts to ensure the couple has a satisfying sex life. Having a disabled woman thus is great as she will understand and appreciate the struggle and efforts that you put in and will most likely be part of the process.

2. Joining disabled person’s social groups.

Just as it is in marrying a fellow disabled partner, the secret here is to be around those people that can relate to your situation. With the stigma that surrounds disability and sex, disabled men sex life can be hectic but listening to and sharing your personal experiences with fellow disabled person guarantees a lot of learning and a much-needed motivation.

Look around for disabled person’s social groups and indulge in their activities. Have an open heart and make more friends (the more, the merrier). Making more friends is utterly important especially because it makes you have a number of indulgent people to turn to especially during your low moments.

3.

Purchase a sex doll

With the sex doll gaining more popularity and getting significant approvals in most societies over the years, these magical gods remain the best alternative to spice up disabled men sex life in a society that places the disabled in a disadvantaged position in the dating world. A realistic sex doll not only offers you an unapologetic sexual experience but also provides you an all-time submissive partner that is ready for you and will never judge or question you. The dolls are neither nagging nor are they affected by emotional and mood swings.

Purchasing a realistic sex doll is a great way to go about rejuvenating disabled men sex life. With the high levels of modifications, specialized resources and trained caregivers that are required to facilitate a satisfying sex life, sex dolls are perfect considering their flexibility. Sex dolls are generally very portable and flexible making it possible to perform any sexual stunt with less straining if any. This as a positive quality makes a sex doll a great alternative that will ensure that the disabled men sex life is spiced up in an easy and strain-free way.

4. Dating sites for the disabled

Over the years, more disabled dating sites have sprung up owing to the increased appreciation of the significance of a satisfying sex life for the disabled to their overall wellbeing. Disability Match UK, Whispers4u, and Dating4disabled are examples of disabled dating sites that offer a platform for the disabled to find fellows who are disabled and looking for a satisfying sex life. Regardless of whether these interactions lead to a lifelong relationship or not, disabled dating sites have greatly enhanced disabled men sex life.

Actually, some of the disabled dating sites are not exclusive to the disabled only but also for those that are healthy but see beyond the clear disability and are looking at the possible satisfying relationship they might have. However, you don’t have to restrict yourself to the disabled dating sites if you don’t want to. These sites have significantly transformed the disabled men sex life: whether you’re looking for a mere friendship, lifelong companionship or a quick sexual endeavor, the disabled dating sites are what you need to be looking for.

5. Visiting brothels

Though prostitution might not be socially acknowledged in many societies, the significance of sex to the human life cannot be overlooked, more so the disabled who are disadvantaged in the traditional dating market. While it might seem eccentric to bring together the disabled and sexual escorts, both parties have a unifying factor; they are relationship marginalized and surrounded by some sort of stigma.

Regardless of how tempting it might be, always use a condom when you visit the brothels. According to research, most people contract Sexually Transmitted Infections while under the influence of drugs. Avoid visiting the brothels while under the influence of drugs and again, practice safe sex.

In a nutshell, disabled men sex life is one that is full of challenges and requires a hoard of modifications and assistance. With the right resources, caregiver training, the ideal partner and motivation from fellow disabled people who are living a satisfying sex life, disabled men sex life can be enhanced.

[breeshiawade]

What’s in A Name? Chaplains vs. Death Doulas

Many of my subscribers (via Instagram and e-mail) know that I refer to myself as a Buddhist EOL (end-of-life) caregiver, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you either wonder ‘wtf does Buddhism have to do with EOL care” or “what does an EOL caregiver do anyway?” To be specific, I am a Buddhist chaplain, although I often hesitate to use the term ‘chaplain’ without context because the term  often carries a lot of baggage for people who associate chaplaincy with Evangelical Christianity.

Both death doulas and chaplains provide emotional, mental, and spiritual support to people going through one of life’s biggest transitions: Death. The way that we go about supporting people through those transitions, and the economic and legal context in which we are able to do it, depends on our background and training.

In this blog post, I will discuss the difference between chaplains and death doulas so that you can make a more informed decision for either your own training or for employment. At the end of the article, I discuss ways that chaplaincy training is beneficial to ALL organizations outside of end-of-life care.

1. Education and Training

One of the major differences between death doula and chaplaincy training is education. You can complete training as a death doula in four to twelve weeks.

Chaplains spend two to three years in graduate school as a part of their training. The type of graduate school a chaplain chooses depends on how they want to relate to their own emotional and spiritual transformation, as well as others’. Most chaplains attend either divinity school or seminary. Divinity schools tend to be more academic in their approach since they are often a part of larger academic institutions, while seminaries tend to function independently and are generally denomination specific (with a handful of exceptions). A third, less common path–one that I personally opted for as it ultimately resulted in less debt and frustration for me–is to complete an M.A. in Religious Studies or similar and attend a chaplaincy training program recognized by the APC, which certifies chaplains. I would say that my Buddhist Chaplaincy training felt more akin to seminary, whereas my M.A. was grounded in deep philosophical inquiry and academic rigor.

After completing their graduate education, chaplains are required to complete four units of Clinical Pastoral Education, each including 300 hours of clinical work (i.e. 1200 hours total). The clinical hours are separate from the group and supervisor hours.

People can either pay to take individual units of CPE (common for people who are completing CPE while working another job) or complete a one-year paid residency, which is what I did. CPE provides an opportunity for chaplains to put theory into practice under the guidance of a clinical supervisor and in the community with a group of peers who provide support and feedback. A key method within CPE training is the “action-reflection-action” model, in which chaplains serve a given community and write very detailed case studies to present to their group for feedback throughout each unit. The supervisor and the group provide feedback on what the chaplain did well, and what can improve, so that the chaplain can go into new situations with more awareness. The case studies also invite the chaplain to explore what was happening for them during an interaction in order to delve more deeply into how personal experience subconsciously informs action. CPE is a time of personal transformation where chaplains explore the theological/existential questions that brought them to this work while healing their own spiritual trauma–an extremely important but often undervalued aspect of our training, given that our personal transformation is ultimately the tool with which we transform the people and institutions we serve. The CPE process also involves many required projects and one-on-one discussions with a CPE supervisor.

As a Black woman who has taken the chaplaincy route, I can attest that there is a lot of Eurocentrism within CPE training, and both the academy and CPE training can be oppressively male- and Christian-centric. Still, I took this route so that I would have the flexibility to enter into institutions where PoC, LGBTQ+ folks, poor people, etc. were being systematically harmed without having an internal advocate who could support them. Though death doulas provide much of the same support and guidance to individuals and families, they do not have the same level of mobility within institutions, which limits access to economic and social resources needed for effecting change within institutions.

2. Certification Death doulas have been around for a very, very long time. However, training and recognition are recently gaining popularity in the U.S. The death doula industry is highly unregulated, which is both a pro and a con. On one hand, it removes barriers to diverse, accessible care. On the other, it makes it more difficult to create a standard of care that holds practitioners accountable for their actions, even those done with the best intentions. Certification is recommended for a death doula, and INELDA requires around 36 hours of practice in order to become certified. Most death doulas function as independent contractors without certification since INELDA was only founded in 2016 and certification is not required.

Chaplains must complete graduate school and Clinical Pastoral Education (which includes 1200 hours of clinical training, not including group process, papers and projects, and one-on-one as a part of CPE) in order to be eligible to apply for Board Certification. Board Certification also requires attestation from an ordained minister in one’s denomination, and the process takes six months to a year and involves many written essays covering core competencies paired with interviews by a panelist of reviewers to determine one’s ability to take on the chaplain role (ethically and spiritually).

3. Accountability and Support

Chaplains are required to receive denominational support from their community in order to serve within an institution. This can be a non-denominational community, Buddhist, Quaker, Sikh, Ba’hai–you name it. This is why I call myself a “Buddhist end-of-life caregiver” or “Buddhist chaplain.” My endorsement (lay ordination) is through a Soto Zen sangha. I, personally know chaplains from all of the aforementioned backgrounds. The idea is that some community needs to be willing to take responsibility for you, and your actions, when you’re doing this work. Without denominational endorsement, a chaplain cannot serve within an institution.

Of course, the denominational endorsement method has its issues as well. As in other areas of society, men and white folks often have an easier time and are required to jump through fewer hoops when securing endorsement, and are given a wider latitude by authority figures for misbehavior or slow improvement.

Death doulas often rely on communities to keep them accountable (word of mouth, reviews, etc). I respect the attempt to decentralize power by using this community accountability model, even if there are pitfalls. If someone is doing harm without an organization to hold them accountable, it is difficult to prevent that person from continuing to inflict harm: the person can simply move to a different organization or city and continue the behavior. The certification process for chaplains involves a certain amount of external accountability in order to be able to serve. Not only must one complete graduate school and receive endorsements from one’s CPE supervisors, but one must receive denominational support before even undergoing the board certification process.

4. Ways of Making Meaning

The final major difference between death doulas and chaplains is how they make meaning of a person’s experience of sickness, death, and dying. For chaplains, this is not only shaped by their own religious tradition but the extensive religious and philosophical studies completed during graduate school, where they not only explored their own belief system more fully but also encountered how other religions and societies make sense of these traditions. As mentioned previously, this multi-tradition function is more often encouraged in Divinity School compared to Seminary. This, paired with CPE, should allow for a richness in insight and experience. To be clear, chaplains should not push a particular spiritual/religious practice, and BCCs (Board Certified Chaplains) are trained to function within multi-religious/spiritual contexts: the spiritual background is merely a lens through which the chaplain can engage themselves and those for whom they provide support.

Death doulas have more flexibility with the way they understand and practice meaning, often drawing upon their own experience/unique practices. Both doulas and chaplains recognize the importance of personal transformation and practice in doing this work, but chaplains are required to undergo much more exploration as a part of their training in order to minimize unintended harm (for example, conflating another person’s pain with our own).

Unfortunately, chaplains often get a bad rep due to evangelizing. This frequently happens when institutions hire chaplains who have not completed proper training. Despite the aforementioned standards, some hospices and hospitals look to save money by hiring chaplains as contractors as opposed to employees. Furthermore, they often attempt to underpay for these positions, and chaplains who have undergone extensive education and training understandably search for better-paying positions. When organizations cut corners by hiring folks who are neither board certified nor board certification eligible, they often choose clergy who have served within their community for 10+ years as both chaplain and clergy without any standard chaplaincy training; they substitute experience for training and education without assessing the quality of that experience. This is especially common in smaller towns where local clergy volunteer their services as chaplains. Congregational training and chaplaincy training are quite different, even if there is overlap.

5. Career

Chaplains have more readily available career paths via hospitals, hospices, corporations, military, etc. Admittedly, these organizations are also steeped in the sexist/Eurocentric standard I mentioned earlier. Medical institutions respect degrees from universities which are filled with internal barriers that place burdens on WoC, LGBTQ+ people, etc.

I believe that the training/route of becoming a death doula is intended to remove these barriers so that more marginalized people can occupy these positions. By removing barriers, people in the midst of transition have access to an end-of-life caregiver who reflects their lived experience. However, many death doulas have to tug on their entrepreneurial skills in order to make a living with the work unless it is paired with some other training/degree (e.g. social work) since death doulas frequently work as independent contractors, and must adjust their prices to match the income of the individuals they’re serving.

As I mentioned, I chose the chaplaincy route to be able to serve marginalized people within institutions. Still, it is difficult, as a marginalized person, to serve other marginalized people amidst their suffering while also navigating trauma inflicted against LGBTQ people and WoC by organizations.

Many companies and organizations do not take spiritual and emotional well-being seriously, in the same way, that social workers are not respected within the healthcare system. This results in companies essentially shifting the responsibility of providing sufficient care onto the patients and families they are serving; families and patients either make do with subpar care, go without getting their needs met, or pay out of pocket for a death doula who meets their needs (after extensive research/back-and-forth).

Conclusion

Death doulas make end-of-life care training and service accessible to underrepresented communities. The difference in in-depth training, supervision, and accountability can present downstream obstacles.

Chaplains are not merely trained to navigate death and dying. Our training around death, dying, and grief is invaluable because we bring unique insight into relationships, career, and personal dynamics, particularly as this relates to someone’s emotional and spiritual growth. Chaplains spend 80% of the job supporting the living as they struggle to heal, make meaning, and define purpose. This includes the family members and friends of someone who is sick and/or dying as well as staff within an organization. These same skills/training can be used in the absence of sickness, death, or dying to support those who are well and living in building a life of meaning.

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Favorite books of 2019

A *very* late continuation of my annual tradition … finally got a push to finish this in case you’re looking for book ideas while we find ourselves with plenty of extra time during quarantine. I read a little less in 2019, maybe because I’m working on something new (and have a new kid) or maybe just because I’m getting lazy as I get older? 48 books total, of which 4 were tree books and 23 were audiobooks—I did spend more time in transit last year (yes, it’s possible to listen to audiobooks and talk to ATC at the same time!), but it felt more productive. 

Without further ado, my favorite books. (affiliate links get donated to charity at the end of the year). I’ve included some highlights from Kindle books, but many of my favorites this year were audiobooks, where I haven’t found a great solution to highlighting (especially those I get from the library on a variety of crappy - but free! - services).

Destiny Disrupted, by Tamim Ansary - this was probably my favorite book of the year. I liked it so much I cold-emailed the author and invited him over for dinner, and we had a wonderful time with he & his wife and a bunch of friends. Fundamentally, the book is a history of the world told from the point of view of Islam; the point he makes, quite compellingly, was that there are really two (and probably more) different histories of the world, with the same facts, that just depend on your narrative. This is starting to play on a lot of things I’ve been trying to understand recently, including Ben Hunt’s Epsilon Theory and specifically, his idea of the Narrative Machine, and all of the theory of Common Knowledge that includes. And he does all this with an easy-to-read but well-researched writing style. If you like this one, I’m still working my way through his next one, The Invention of Yesterday, and so far so good.

A ruler can never trust a popular man with soldiers of his own. One day, Mansur invited Abu Muslim to come visit him and share a hearty meal. What happened next illustrates the maxim that when an Abbasid ruler invites you to dinner, you should arrange to be busy that night.

On the Sunni side, four slightly different versions of this code took shape, and the Shi’i developed yet another one of their own, similar to the Sunni ones in spirit and equally vast in scope. These various codes differ in details, but I doubt that one Muslim in a thousand can name even five such details.

Let me emphasize that the ulama were not (and are not) appointed by anyone. Islam has no pope and no official clerical apparatus. How, then, did someone get to be a member of the ulama? By gaining the respect of people who were already established ulama. It was a gradual process. There was no license, no certificate, no “shingle” to hang up to prove that one was an alim. The ulama were (and are) a self-selecting, self-regulating class, bound entirely by the river of established doctrine. No single alim could modify this current or change its course. It was too old, too powerful, too established, and besides, no one could become a member of the ulama until he had absorbed the doctrine so thoroughly that it had become a part of him. By the time a person acquired the status to question the doctrine, he would have no inclination to do so. Incorrigible dissenters who simply would not stop questioning the doctrine probably wouldn’t make it through the process.

If a man commits a grave sin, is he a non-Muslim, or is he (just) a bad Muslim? The question might seem like a semantic game, except that in the Muslim world, as a point of law, the religious scholars divided the world between the community and the nonbelievers. One set of rules applied among believers, another set for interactions between believers and nonbelievers. It was important, therefore, to know if any particular person was in the community or outside it.

Range, by David Epstein. Thomas Layton recommended this to me (he was reading a derivative work on how to coach basketball while applying this theory), and it was fun. The fundamental thesis is that you can split environments into “nice” and “wicked” learning environments. In nice environments, feedback is quick and accurate, and rewards specialization early (eg golf ... you can practice every possible shot by yourself). In wicked environments, feedback is delayed (if available at all), and the rules — let alone the situation — are fluid. This rewards “range”, or a variety of experiences (Epstein uses tennis as an example, but much of life is even more obvious). The return of the Renaissance Man (or Woman) — yay!

When I began to write about these studies, I was met with thoughtful criticism, but also denial. “Maybe in some other sport,” fans often said, “but that’s not true of our sport.” The community of the world’s most popular sport, soccer, was the loudest. And then, as if on cue, in late 2014 a team of German scientists published a study showing that members of their national team, which had just won the World Cup, were typically late specializers who didn’t play more organized soccer than amateur-league players until age twenty-two or later.

A recent study found that cardiac patients were actually less likely to die if they were admitted during a national cardiology meeting, when thousands of cardiologists were away; the researchers suggested it could be because common treatments of dubious effect were less likely to be performed.

Whether or not experience inevitably led to expertise, they agreed, depended entirely on the domain in question. Narrow experience made for better chess and poker players and firefighters, but not for better predictors of financial or political trends, or of how employees or patients would perform. The domains Klein studied, in which instinctive pattern recognition worked powerfully, are what psychologist Robin Hogarth termed “kind” learning environments. Patterns repeat over and over, and feedback is extremely accurate and usually very rapid.

...

In wicked domains, the rules of the game are often unclear or incomplete, there may or may not be repetitive patterns and they may not be obvious, and feedback is often delayed, inaccurate, or both.

When younger students bring home problems that force them to make connections, Richland told me, “parents are like, ‘Lemme show you, there’s a faster, easier way.’” If the teacher didn’t already turn the work into using-procedures practice, well-meaning parents will. They aren’t comfortable with bewildered kids, and they want understanding to come quickly and easily. But for learning that is both durable (it sticks) and flexible (it can be applied broadly), fast and easy is precisely the problem.

Programs like Head Start did give a head start, but academically that was about it. The researchers found a pervasive “fadeout” effect, where a temporary academic advantage quickly diminished and often completely vanished. On a graph, it looks eerily like the kind that show future elite athletes catching up to their peers who got a head start in deliberate practice.

Hilariously, predictors were willing to pay an average of $129 a ticket for a show ten years away by their current favorite band, while reflectors would only pay $80 to see a show today by their favorite band from ten years ago.

In the spring of 2001, Bingham collected twenty-one problems that had stymied Eli Lilly scientists and asked a top executive if he could post them on a website for anyone to see. The executive would only consider it if the consulting firm McKinsey thought it was a good idea. “McKinsey’s opinion,” Bingham recalled, “was, ‘Who knows? Why don’t you launch it and tell us the answer.’”

There was also a “perverse inverse relationship” between fame and accuracy. The more likely an expert was to have his or her predictions featured on op-ed pages and television, the more likely they were always wrong. Or, not always wrong. Rather, as Tetlock and his coauthor succinctly put it in their book Superforecasting, “roughly as accurate as a dart-throwing chimpanzee.”

Deep Work by Cal Newport - this was an easy listen while on a couple of long runs in Palm Springs during Indian Wells weekend, and definitely worth it. Like classics such as How to Win Friends And Influence People, there’s not a lot fundamentally groundbreaking here, but he articulates some really fundamental principles well enough that you stop and take notice and ask, “I know that ... why am I not doing that?” Now I just need to review my notes...

Age of Ambition, Chasing Fortune in China - Evan Osnos. I think Scott Cannon originally recommended this book to me, and it was fascinating. It’s a bit of a long, slow read but a lot of insight into China’s evolution over the last few decades. I’m not sure what I’ll do with this knowledge (or the many other China books I’ve read recently) but it feels important for the coming decades. If only I could learn Mandarin like Matt MacInnis 

Every country has corruption, but China’s was approaching a level of its own. For those at the top, the scale of temptation had reached a level unlike anything ever encountered in the West. It was not always easy to say which Bare-Handed Fortunes were legitimate and which were not, but political office was a reliable pathway to wealth on a scale of its own. By 2012 the richest seventy members of China’s national legislature had a net worth of almost ninety billion dollars—more than ten times the combined net worth of the entire U.S. Congress.

But unlike Zaire, China punished many people for it; in a five-year stretch, China punished 668,000 Party members for bribery, graft, and embezzlement; it handed down 350 death sentences for corruption, and Wedeman concluded, “At a very basic level, it appears to have prevented corruption from spiraling out of control.”

The Central Propaganda Department let it be known that reports that suggested a shortage of happiness were not to receive attention. In April 2012 my phone buzzed: All websites are not to repost the news headlined, “UN Releases World Happiness Report, and China Ranks No. 112.”

Over the years, the risk of being blamed for helping someone was a scenario that appeared over and over in the headlines. In November 2006 an elderly woman in Nanjing fell at a bus stop, and a young man named Peng Yu stopped to help her get to the hospital. In recovery, she accused Peng of causing her fall, and a local judge agreed, ordering him to pay more than seven thousand dollars—a judgment based not on evidence, but on what the verdict called “logical thinking”: that Peng would never have helped if he hadn’t been motivated by guilt.

At one point, Chinese programmers were barred from updating a popular software system called Node.js because the version number, 0.6.4, corresponded with June 4, the date of the Tiananmen Square crackdown.

he vowed to punish not only low-ranking “flies” but also powerful “tigers.” He called on his comrades to be “diligent and thrifty,” and when Xi took his first official trip, state television reported that he checked into a “normal suite” and dined not at a banquet, but at a buffet—a revelation so radical in Chinese political culture that the word buffet took on metaphysical significance. The state news service ran a banner headline: XI JINPING VISITS POOR FAMILIES IN HEBEI: DINNER IS JUST FOUR DISHES AND ONE SOUP, NO ALCOHOL.

...

It didn’t take long for the abrupt drop-off in gluttony to affect the economy: sales of shark fin (de rigueur for banquets) sank more than 70 percent; casinos in Macau recorded a drop in VIPs, and Swiss watch exports dropped by a quarter from the year before. Luxury goods makers mourned.

Economists point to a historic correlation between “world’s tallest” debuts and economic slowdowns. There is no cause and effect, but such projects are a sign of easy credit, excessive optimism, and inflated land prices—a pattern that dates to the world’s first skyscraper, the Equitable Life Building. Built in New York at the height of the Gilded Age, it was completed in 1873, the start of a five-year slump that became known as the Long Depression, and the pattern repeated in decades to follow. Skyscraper magazine, a Shanghai publication that treated tall buildings like celebrities, reported in 2012 that China would finish a new skyscraper every five days for the next three years; China was home to 40 percent of the skyscrapers under construction in the world.

Billion Dollar Whale by Tom Wright & Bradley Hope - Mike Vernal told me to drop most things to read this, and he wasn’t wrong. A well-written account of the 1MDB scandal that I’d only vaguely followed, and tries to put it into context when it basically can’t … something like $5.XB stolen over the course of a few years.

Heads in Beds by Jacob Tomsky & Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain - I put these two together, both recommended by Robert MacCloy, because they’re quick and fun. I listened to both on audio and they were both “mindless” but interesting…sort of the inside baseball of both the hospitality and restaurant industries. Don’t use a UV light...anywhere.

Smokejumpers by Jason Ramos - recommended by one of our fire captain neighbors at Oxbow and figured it would be good to understand a little more about wildland firefighting … this took me down a long digression of firefighting books that were interesting but if you want one, this one’s fun.

American icon by Bryce Hoffman - great audiobook that Scott Cannon recommended about Alan Mulaly’s turnaround of the Ford. The single most memorable part — after a couple of years working on turning the company around, a reporter asked him what his priorities for the next year were, and he responded with the same three things he’d said from the beginning. The reporter said something to the affect of “I can’t write about that again, it’s boring, you need something new!” And Mulaly responded “when we’ve got these three things done right, then we’ll have something new. We haven’t finished them yet."

Bad Blood by John Carreyrou - my wife raved about this book after she listened to it, and it was all the rage, so I did too…and it lived up to the hype! Fascinating but managed not to be a tabloid-y gossip-y tale of excess so much as a “yeah, each individual step was only a little over the line, and look where it lead them.” A surprisingly poignant reminder about how “fake it til you make it” in Silicon Valley can be idealized until it’s not. This is the next generation in a line started by Barbarians at the Gate and continued by Smartest Guys In The Room.

[esytes69]

New Post has been published on https://acqro.in/id-rather-cry-in-a-bmw-than-laugh-on-a-bicycle-chinese-belief/

“I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.” Chinese belief.

“Only my boyfriend can shake hands with me. Others must pay 200,000 yuan (US$29,282) for the privilege,” she said on the show. “Why 200,000 yuan? Because my basic criteria for my future boyfriend is that he must earn this amount of money each month.”

“Date on Saturday” is a popular matchmaking TV program in Shanghai. Since it started in 1998, it has attracted 7,000 singles.

IN a controversial new TV dating show, 24 women “judges” vote on a single guy and if he passes he can choose one for a date. It raises questions about demands of today’s material girls. Xu Wei reports.

There’s a popular saying among young Chinese women who are seeking Mr Right: “I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.” In Shanghai the low-end alternative is a motorbike or modest Santana.

These words also swirl about on the Internet, show up on T-shirts and on TV dating shows where they stir controversy about today’s perceived grasping, material girls.

New shows featuring many female judges evaluating guys turn the spotlight on what women want in the man they marry.

Ma Nuo, a 22-year-old print model from Beijing, became the center of controversy recently when she appeared on the popular new matchmaking program “If You’re the One” on Jiangsu Satellite TV.

“I’d rather cry in a BMW car than laugh on the backseat of a bicycle,” Ma responded when she haughtily rejected a young man’s offer to take her for a ride on his bike. Netizens were generally enraged, heaping scorn on her, labeling her the “BMW Lady,” and saying she shamed the post-1980s generation. Ma quit the show in discomfort.

But that’s all okay. Now she’s a star. Her modeling career took off and she’s a hot item on TV talk shows and entertainment programs.

On a Star TV talk show, Ma repeated her requirements for a man and also talked openly about her first sexual encounter.

Now some TV talent shows have invited her to be a judge; an online video program about the FIFA World Cup has invited her to be a soccer commentator. It is said that Ma can now charge as much as some well-known actresses.

Since it debuted in January, “If You Are the One” dating show has challenged traditional Chinese dating show formats in which men and women are usually equal in number.

Every Saturday and Sunday at 9:20pm, a jury of 24 single women with different educational backgrounds, careers and personalities watch a single guy’s introductory video and then question him.

Then they vote by pushing lights and buzzers to determine if he should remain on the show. If he passes his 10-minute trial, a guy can choose one of the young women for a date. In each hourlong show, five guys undergo scrutiny. The jury remains the same, while the chosen woman is replaced.

The truth is Ma is far from alone in her material requirements for marriage. Millions of Chinese women, and their parents, are like her, stirring a controversy about values.

Material girls

Other women on the show have been labeled material girls by Netizens, though many Netizens are sympathetic.

Saleswoman Zhu Zhenfang appeared on the show and was quite candid about why she voted against some guys again and again. She was asked by the host if she would choose the guy who makes her happy or the guy who can buy her a luxurious house. Zhu didn’t hesitate.

“I can tell by their appearance that they can never afford a luxury house.”

Zhu also refused to shake hands with a young man who just wanted to say hello to all 24 single women.

“Only my boyfriend can shake hands with me. Others must pay 200,000 yuan (US$29,282) for the privilege,” she said on the show. “Why 200,000 yuan? Because my basic criteria for my future boyfriend is that he must earn this amount of money each month.”

That caused an uproar and she was called an outrageous snob.

Many people observed that both the young women and the TV station were just trying to be provocative to promote themselves and increase ratings.

“No one believes you can find the right person after a 10-minute Q and A,” says Kevin Yang, an IT worker. “It’s just show biz with dramatic scripts and temptations of money and fame. Like talent shows, this is a choice for people who want to become famous overnight.”

In all this commotion, some psychologists have come to the defense of women who insist on material security, though they do say demands have gone too far.

“It’s hard to pass judgment,” says Zhang Zhenyu, a veteran psychologist from East China Normal University.

“Look at the animal world. Females usually choose the strongest and healthiest mate so that good genes are passed to their offspring and the family is secure,” he says.

“The only difference in the human world is that houses and money can provide a sense of security, even if it is illusory and temporary. The logic and principles of survival remain the same.”

Of course, women choose those who are economically superior, he says.

“My advice to them is to make their criteria more flexible. It doesn’t matter if the man is rich at this time. What matters is earning potential and his desire to become a better person.”

The show’s producer, Wang Gang, isn’t fazed and says so far 200,000 young men and women have applied for the “love reality” TV program.

“We understand some people may find our program a little radical and unrealistic. But we want to show different people’s true feelings about love and marriage,” he says. “We just give them a stage, and never judge.”

Conventional

The program also raises topical issues such as housing prices, pressure on white-collars, and women’s ties with their mothers-in-law, he says.

The show’s casting department carefully selects a jury representing women of diverse ages, family backgrounds, economic status, careers and education – the one criterion is that they be articulate and willing to express themselves in front of a camera.

Though few, if any, of the women have found true love in the six-month-running show, many have received dating requests.

Xu He, who holds a PhD in chemistry from Brown University (US state of Rhode Island), impressed many viewers with knowledge and eloquence. The 32-year-old professional has received hundreds of e-mails from men expressing interest and she’s dating one of them.

“The show has increased the dating options of people who devoted many years to study and career,” she says.

Those who want to play it safer gravitate to Shanghai Media Group’s “Date on Saturday,” which started in 1998 and has attracted 7,000 singles. The show claims its matchmaking is responsible for 300 marriages.

Producer Zhao Feirong says the show has a solid fan base because it’s authentic and really helps people.

“We don’t go for media hype and manipulation,” says Zhao, adding that the show will update its interactive sections to cater to more people.

It now features modern “speed dating” and psychologists who interpret singles’ body language and comment about whether young people are attracted to each other.

So-called love experts advise young people, who may be shy and inept, about good manners and communications skills in relationships.

The show features couples singing love songs together and sending each other do-it-yourself gifts.

The show plans to launch a segment “Moms and Dads” about parents who are anxious to see their children married and help them find dates. It’s inspired by the city’s many parents who gather in parks over weekends, holding signs describing their sons and daughters and exchanging information.

Since many young people are absorbed in their careers, they cannot devote sufficient time to the all-important issues of marriage and starting a family. So parents join the dating game on behalf of their adult children.

“Date on Saturday” also addresses the issue of the city’s “leftover girls” – those who are in their late 20s and early 30s and still unwed. They usually have good education and decent jobs.

“Traditional Chinese norms really put a lot of pressure on women who don’t get married before 30. It seems unfair for them,” says producer Zhao, noting that Western families and society are much more tolerant of single women who choose their own lifestyle and are not driven to marry.

Since it’s especially hard for “leftover girls” to find the right man these days, Dragon TV has decided to help, launching a new dating show, “One Out of 100” on Fridays at 9pm.

The program, which calls itself an updated “Date on Saturday,” gathers three female singles and 100 male bachelors. The women are attractive and successful workers. They can choose a date among the gents who introduce themselves and demonstrate some skills, interests or talent.

This article is from one of the archives on Shanghai Daily.

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Soul Sister Empowerment: Enrollment Coach

Headquarters: Leipzig, Germany URL: https://www.soulsisterempowerment.com

 Soul Sister Empowerment is hiring! 

  Soul Sister Empowerment is a rapidly growing company that helps amazing women from all over the world to overcome shyness and social anxiety so that they can finally live the life they deserve. My clients go from worried, insecure and invisible to confident, assertive and GLOWING within a few months.  With an incredible success rate, the program I created enables women to finally go to work with pleasure, to earn the money they deserve and to have a fulfilled private life that isn’t clouded by fear and self-doubt any longer. 

So, if you are a heart-centered, ambitious person, who is inspired to change women’s lives on a daily basis and who would love to vet and onboard our new clients, READ ON. 

  This is for you if:

You love people and want to work from anywhere in the world 

You have experience in high-ticket sales (not necessary, but preferred) 

You love my mission 

You are empathetic, emotionally intelligent and caring. You must be able to connect at a deep level with women who are shy and struggle with low self-esteem 

You are confident in your ability to show the value of getting help and of enrolling in a life-changing program 

You are 100% committed to EXCEL in this role 

You love being on the phone with people and are ready to go deep and be honest with them 

You are a good listener and have a feeling for the right questions to ask 

You have a sky-high integrity and are willing to turn away people who aren’t a fit for our program. This company is about people over profit and the person on the front line will be responsible for keeping this culture and mission intact.

You are coachable and always look for ways to grow and learn 

You are seeking a long-term career, not a temporary bridge role. I am 1000% devoted to my people and I’m looking for top-notch team members that are dedicated to creating a HIGH-GROWTH company 

You love to have your own area of responsibilities, are self-driven and ready to grow your OWN LITTLE SALES EMPIRE 

You have a reliable phone service and a quick internet connection 

You are comfortable with a commission-only, completely results-based compensation 

You are a positive person that loves to laugh and values a great team culture 

  IF I bring you on, you will receive: 

Tons of loving support and encouragement 

The ability to work from anywhere in the world 

Non-stop warm leads (no cold calling) to women who are ready and wanting to change their lives 

Lucrative compensation

Flexible working hours 

More fun than you've ever had at "work"! 

  If this is speaking to you and you’re ready to change the world, one woman at a time, don’t miss out on this opportunity and click here now to fill out the application. I'm excited to get to know you! 

To apply: https://www.soulsisterempowerment.com/enrollmentcoach

from We Work Remotely: Remote jobs in design, programming, marketing and more https://ift.tt/32m11YY from Work From Home YouTuber Job Board Blog https://ift.tt/2Vd3ELg

[barbecuedphoenix]

At long last, here’s the third and final member of my main group of Guardians: Anna from the Russian server (formerly from the Finnish site). 

She’s got a major role in the original fan-fiction that will eventually hit this blog. For now, enjoy these quick and dirty facts on this fierce latter-day Amazon. 

Name: Anna ‘Anni’ Laukkanen

Age (at the beginning of the story): 29

Birthday: February 3

Height: 1.83 m (6′ 0′’) 

Guard: Obsidian (former)

Lineage: Full human

Occupation: Military vanguard and counter-magic specialist. Anna was a commissioned field officer in the Obsidian Guard, and once occupied a tactical position in the vanguard of battlefield, counter-siege, and general security units. Due to her unusually high maana-resistance and wide knowledge of myths and folklore (for a human), she specialized in subduing rogue spell-casters, spirits, and dangerous magical artifacts. When she wasn’t on campaign, she used to drill recruits in how to anticipate and protect themselves against spells, and occasionally, provide personal protection for key diplomats (which was one job she never enjoyed).

Skills: Two-handed axe combat (Obsidian training) || Small unit military strategy for field combat and protection (Obsidian training) || Kickboxing || Playing the bass guitar and standing bass || Literary analysis || High magic resistance (Hereditary)

(To read more, hit the blue ‘Photo’ button on the side of this post!) 

Weaknesses: Lower healing rates due to her innate maana resistance, which rejects magical remedies || A naturally-sensitive nature that can be stoked into a stormy temper || Public speaking and performance anxiety || Routine paranoia at being ‘taken advantage of’ by stronger characters || Tendency to hold long grudges || Limited flexibility in her outermost fingers and toes (due to the number of times they’ve been broken) || Female fashions  

Weapons of Choice: Two-handed war axe || Single-edged sax (for close quarters) || Kickboxing (replete with armored boots and gauntlets) || The potent mana null around her body || Dark humor || Iron-spined stubbornness || Slapstick creativity in applying her weapons

Familiars: Tiamat (female Corko) || Ruggiero (male Plumobec)

(Former) Crush: Her (ex-)captain Valkyon, whom many had described as a calming (i.e. good) influence on shy but tempestuous Anna. Once upon a time.  

Background Story: 

A Finnish-Swede comparative literature student who was born in Helsinki, but lived alternately between there and Stockholm for most of her life.  

She was raised largely by her father, a successful though restive civil engineer. And his restlessness was what defined her family life: Anna grew up with no fewer than three different stepmothers (with other girlfriends in-between that she didn’t bother keep track of). The first woman he remarried though was her first real mother figure (who also provided her with a precocious half-sister nine years her junior), and Anna kept close ties with her even after she divorced her father.

Anna’s father’s ambitions for her also shaped her early life: as a girl, she was a competitive gymnast, encouraged to aim for the European championships despite her deep social anxiety that routinely made her sick before each competition. Her father persuaded her to stay on this course despite young Anna hitting five-feet-nine and one hundred and sixty pounds at fourteen—well beyond the ideal frame for a gymnast--, and her anxiety getting no better. Part of the latter was because of the attention she was also getting for being taller, broader-shouldered, and more obviously muscular than half the boys in her school.

Eventually in her ninth-grade year, three boys at a classmate’s party met her in an ill-advised attempt to ‘gauge her femininity’. The list of injuries--- compiled later-- was extensive: a concussion, a broken nose, and a fractured clavicle for the boys, and several bruises (a black eye included), some broken fingers, and a split lip on Anna’s end. She was finally taken out of public school and enrolled in a program for full-time athletes, based in Stockholm. There, she also insisted on taking kickboxing lessons to learn how to defend herself properly. And (perhaps unsurprisingly to some) she cropped her hair short and dressed entirely in men’s fashions from then on.    

Anna’s gymnastics career finally came to an end when she suffered an acute nervous breakdown at a major competition at fifteen, which convinced even her (chagrined) father that the limelight wasn’t for her. During her convalescence, Anna redoubled her kickboxing training (non-competitively), learnt to play the bass guitar, and took to reading old Norse, Finnish, and Germanic mythology from her second stepmother’s library. This was initially a way to avoid the rest of her family, with young Anna freezing relations with her father after her last public breakdown on the mat. But this escape strategy finally gave her an idea of what she wanted to put her life to.  

Her first stepmother’s death and a hefty inheritance willed to her finally allowed Anna to live independently of her father and sister, to pursue a degree in comparative literature. Those undergraduate to graduate years saw a slow, but sure rise in both her self-confidence and her circle of friends, though she still kept minimal contact with her family. 

Anna’s growth into an independent literature student culminated in a graduate field study at a ‘sacred grove’ in Finnish Lapland, for her dissertation on the mythic devolution of the hiisi since pre-Christian times. Which was where her longtime friend, research partner, and second boyfriend gave her the shock of her life by proposing to her.  

In ‘celebration’, they stayed late at what was once called a sacred grove on midsummer’s eve. As midnight approached, Anna’s lover backtracked to their car for extra lights and blankets. Anna offered to stay behind in the grove to start setting up their impromptu camp. Her new fiance had learnt long ago that there was little point in acting chivalrous around her, so he hiked back to the trail with no qualms.  

By the time he returned, his fiancée for the past two hours had vanished without a trace.  

[toldmystory-madehistory]

Re-Starting The Journey

It has been a long time since I have updated this blog. Truth is, life got insanely busy and my journey hit many, many road blocks. I had big plans for this blog. Big plans for my weight loss journey and it just all crumbled before my eyes. This first update in a very long time will be raw, real, and open, tackling a few things I have put off consistently because of disappointment in myself, in the journey and in the choices I have made on some things. I warn you that it will be long, and most likely will start to ramble. But here I give everyone an update on the journey and what is next. 

Let’s start with the good. In 2015, after several disappointments in my weight loss journey and a overall very hard time finding a job that made me happy, doing something that I love, I decided to apply for grad school with the hopes of getting a degree in Music Industry Administration. I was accepted and started in August of that year. Fast forward to May 2017, I sit here now with said Masters degree and wonder what is next, where to start? What to do? During the tenure of my masters program, I was meeting a lot of new people, changing in ways I never thought I would. I became more open, got better at public speaking, learned how to network and interact with people in ways I never could before. 

But I was also going through another side journey. Watching all that I had worked for in my weight loss journey fall apart. I was at the tail end of a several month struggling mightily with my purpose on my journey. I was no longer losing weight, I was stagnant, and I felt no matter what I did I was no longer going to lose weight and that frustrated me to no end. I felt I could eat fast food or another meal of chicken and broccoli and see the same results. I was switching up my workouts, trying new additions, changing the cardio, everything that I could think of and nothing seemed to work. The stress and anxiety of this time, I’ve come to learn a bit more, was probably a huge indicator of why nothing was happening. Our bodies are marvelous things. They respond accordingly to what they sense we are feeling. My body was under major stress and felt it needed to hold on to whatever it had. My trainer at that time, bless her heart, tried everything she could as well. It got to a point that my food was so strict that if I couldn’t track single morsel, I wasn’t eating it. In the end, I was completely unhappy in any fitness and nutrition capacity and just had no desire to continue what I felt had become a chore. 

So I started my program, while working, and commented to Northridge every week for classes, projects, and events, and just pretty much let my fitness journey fall. I could no longer afford training, so I just figured I was done. I put my full focus into my program while kind of going to the gym irregularly and still continuing to prep food but not really track it as much as I used to. I still ate relatively healthy for the most part, but ate a lot more junk that I had been when I started my journey in 2011. 

In 2016, I felt a desire to, again, start to lose the weight, but had a strong lack of motivation to start over because I was so upset at myself for basically undoing all that I had worked so hard to accomplish. I was angry at myself, still am, about basically gaining most of the weight back and getting back to a place I swore I never would. My mood, my stressors, my anxiety, and most importantly, my confidence, have all taken quite the hit since then. I was genuinely happy and fully confident in myself for what felt like the first time ever at the beginning of my weight loss journey, but that has gone away. It will take a lot of work to get back there, but I am determined to do so. But I am getting a bit ahead of myself.

Flashback to 2016 and that desire to start losing the weight again and the thought of having to go through that again killed me. Did I really want to put myself through all of that again? Let me tell you one thing, the mind is a very powerful thing. It will tell you things that will never be true, but will convince you they are. And I struggled still, in staying consistent. I knew with my commute, working 30 hours a week, and trying to get my Masters, adding the gym back into my routine would be no easy task. I knew I would have to be so on top of everything. 

I knew what needed to be done, because I had done it before, but just didn’t know how I would fit everything or really, where to start. The gym had become intimidating again and I just had a hard time getting past things. While researching workout plans, nutrition logs, and everything in between, I came across a woman by the name of Karina Baymiller, who runs an online fitness and nutrition coaching business called Knox Strength and Performance. I ended up contacting her and seeing if what I was going through was something she could be of help with. We ended up connecting quite well and our journey in trying to get to to the core of my problems and restarting my weight loss journey began, very slowly I might add. Success has still not come in the form of full blown weight loss results, but I have discovered a lot more of the in-between. 

The in-between is the little things. The mental road blocks, and really just discovering things about yourself that you may have pushed away, not thought of, or really did not just want to see. The first thing I did with Karina is pretty much bare all. She wanted to know as much as I was willing to give, to judge my mental state and to judge where the next logical step in my weight loss would be. And boy was I sure in deeper than I thought!

The biggest thing over the course of about 8 months that she has made me discover is my borderline unhealthy obsession with calorie counting, scale watching, and overall mental state in how I had begun to treat losing weight and eating healthy. In short, I was stagnant for many more reasons besides working out. Like I had mentioned earlier, my food tracking had got to the point that I wanted to track literally everything I ate. I was also very restrictive on what I would allow myself to eat and when. Even if I cheated, I wasn’t going to In-n-Out or eating a 1/2 dozen donuts on a Saturday. I was considering things like bagels, an ice cream cone, and little small things like that, that overall in the grand scheme would not be make or break in terms of weight loss. Truth was, I just didn’t let myself have too many cheats or anything rather blatant because I was so afraid of gaining the weight back. The breakdown for me, was seeing that I was no longer losing weight and wondering why I kept eating so healthy when it *clearly* wasn’t working. 

With Karina, the plan is all about flexible dieting. There are no cheats, there are no restricted foods, but you follow a more simplistic plan of eating healthy but having that ice cream cone if you’re craving it, or having that donut on a Saturday morning if you’re feeling it. This is not to say that I should be eating a donut every morning or eating ice cream every night for dessert, but if I wanted it, sometimes I could have it. Her biggest thing in all of the many nutrition talks we have had, was the mindset shift. So what if you couldn’t track every morsel? In fact, no tracking app is ever really truly 100% accurate, so a bite of this or that, again, will not break you. My mindset needed to shift. And not see food as the bad guy, as the thing that caused me so much grief. But the big key was that I needed to switch up *what* healthy food I was eating. Chicken breast, brown rice, and broccoli is boring, let’s be real. Who the heck wants to eat that for lunch everyday for the rest of their lives? So I needed to start varying what I eat and that should bring about the hopeful lack of frustration on having to eat the same thing I was feeling. My goals were to find new things to cook and try. My biggest deterrent in most weeks throughout our time together so far has been really finding the time to accomplish any of this while in this program. When I say this Masters program kicked my butt for two years, that’s an understatement. I felt at times that I was struggling to come up for air after being stuck under water. But I’m getting off- track again. 

Overall it sounds so simple, but it really wasn’t and hasn’t been. The food thing was the first step. The second step was not letting the gym control my life. The gym was to fit into my schedule, my schedule was not to fit around the gym. My social life had suffered during my initial weight loss journey, but it also suffered during my Masters tenure, both for different reasons.  But I needed to find a schedule that worked. I pride myself on organization and planning, but for the life of me, I could just not get all 3 to work together like I wanted. 

The next biggest thing was really just getting myself in the gym. Easier said than done. With my commute to school, I needed more time on those days to drive, which cut into my time for things like getting in the gym, or doing something else. This proved the hardest in my time with Karina so far, which I am hopeful will alleviate itself now with one less thing on my plate. I was getting randomly sick throughout last year, ended up straining my ankle quite severely, both things keeping me out of the gym more than being on a fitness program should allow. Needless to say, I never really felt like I ever settled into a consistent routine. Because my life didn’t feel consistent. 

Another major thing on the food topic that Karina and I had gone back and forth with quite a bit was how much I was eating and what it consisted of. In being so restrictive of my food, I had messed up my metabolism, which was most likely a contributing factor to the lack of weight loss. What we discovered, is that I was actually not eating enough. I was not eating enough protein for starters, but surprisingly, on some days, I was not even eating enough carbs. I thought she was crazy when she set my numbers for food intake, and believe me I still struggle with it today and fought for a long while, still in the mindset that they were just too high. But after many explanations and back/forth we’ve met common ground and I see now why they are important, even though my mind sometimes says otherwise. Choosing the food to fill your day is even more important when you have specific numbers you want to meet. The great thing here, is we worked up to them slowly. We focused on one thing, then another, then another. And now we’ve got a better focus on the main protein/carb/fat ratio. It’s still not great, it’s still not complexly consistent, but I know it can be done. 

Even though I was busy, there were many excuses that still held me back from actually being consistent with trying to lose weight again. And in all honesty, I think knowing how hard I would have to work, it kind of deterred me from starting sometimes. I was going through the motions, walking to the gym, doing my thing, not great, and leaving. Or skipping cardio workouts. Not eating consistently enough to be able to see changes. I just wasn’t focused enough to see many positive changes. 

Flash forward to current time. I continue today with Karina, still really struggling mentally and physically to find my full groove, but now with the weight of my Masters program behind me, I am restarting the journey to a healthy body, mind, and soul. Karina has been insanely patient with my schedule and with the real lack of physical results we have been seeing. But the mental change, in many ways, as become quite different. In discovering the things I had pushed off, had been doing, and so on. She has been great at getting down to the root causes of just what I am thinking, things I am interpreting, and what the next steps would be. She calls me out when she knows I can be better. I know I can be 100% better than what product I am putting out now. I know that staying consistent for longer than a week or two will start to yield positive results and she reminds me of that constantly. I know it will not be easy. I know that I have not put even close to my best effort again into losing weight, but I know, most importantly, that it is in there to be done. I’ve done it before, and can do it again. 

As I sit here and write this and think back on everything that has seemed to move so quickly yet not at the same time, I am reflective. I know I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. I have a good life, but I want it to be better. Because in the end, I know how great it feels to be free of the weight and walk around with great confidence in your accomplishments. I am sure there will be more speed bumps and road blocks along the way, but as long as I can continue to navigate around them. I am hopeful that I will find success once again. I know this journey won’t be easy, in fact, I know just how hard it is. But I know it will be worth it in the end. 

For now, thank you for taking the time to read my rambling thoughts. I’m going to  continue on with trying to find a job in this crazy music industry that I am so passionate about and continue my journey into the next phase of my life. And I want to invite anyone who’d like to join in this weight loss journey to hop on. Because if I haven’t learned enough, I have learned that having people around you that feel the same way and that are doing things you are doing makes all of the difference. Whether that’s going to the gym, getting out in nature on a hike, or going out for a healthy lunch/dinner with friends. That connection is so vital. Because, in the end, my weight loss journey affects the people around me, and what is going on around me, in turn, affects my journey as well. 

[andlikelions]

Like This & Like That

In the not so distant past I was frantically shuffling through nursing school with my eye on a promise that the choice I had made would provide security for my family and a colorful career for myself. I have never put more trust into anything before, and much of it felt entirely blind. It’s very unusual for me to blindly go all in without clear definition of what will be the product. I am historically a control freak.

I came from a very regimented structured program and university that very strongly advocated for its nursing graduates to move into either education, administration, military, or intense hospital nursing. It wasn’t a spoken rule by any measure but certainly that’s what seemed to get everyone all warm and fuzzy. My peers listed off their hopes of working in the Air Force, becoming neonatal intensive care unit nurses, neuro-oncology nurses.. wound care nurses.. the things you probably picture nurses to do with their skills and education. I’ll never forget what a graduating senior said to a group of us new sophomores who hadn’t had clinical experience yet, “if you don’t enjoy your medsurg clinical you probably shouldn’t be a nurse”. Daunting. It crippled my good friend right out of nursing school and normally that’s what would’ve happened to me too.

The pragmatic higher thinking part of my adult brain overrode that silly statement. I think my life experience up to that point was able to see beyond oversimplifications like that. So I continued to trust and invest all the while getting older, deeper into debt, and further involved in existential questions of my my purpose and my abilities as a woman and a creature.

I stand where I am now in awe and disbelief. Since I graduated and passed my boards I haven’t been able to fathom the unveiling of opportunities. People have been coming to me to request I apply to work with or for them including at the Plainfield Health Center, the Vermont Department of Health as a nurse epidemiologist, in multiple areas of multiple different hospitals..

Overwhelming isn’t the word. Joyful? Proud? I don’t know what the word is. I am in awe and amazed at my accomplishment. I truly did not believe I possessed the ability to create a new branch and path in my family’s story.

Nursing isn’t rocket science, but it certainly is rigorous in several ways including what felt like the ultimate test of character. Academically challenging for sure, but it was so much more than that. Prior in my life I’ve gained praise for my demeanor and dedication, not the case in nursing school. I felt, as we all did, that we were not worthy of the title we were after. I craved proving my will to myself. It’s sort of sadistic in a way.

Now that it’s all over and the death of my daughter has broken me down to my core, I feel as though I’ve been granted a new beginning. It really feels like starting all over again. Being reborn only this time I trust myself a little more. I’m reborn with skills and tools and have strong value. I also determined the senior with all of her nursing wisdom was wrong. We are not all cut out for hospital nursing as we all shouldn't be.

Five or so months ago I couldn’t have ever pictured going back to work. I couldn’t picture healing myself let alone others, I couldn’t picture doing my laundry or minimally cleaning my house let alone maintaining infection control protocols in a hospital. If I woke up and Grace ate, the day was a success.

It was around Thanksgiving time that I spoke with my employer and conveyed that very message in a heartfelt monologue. Their response surprised me and left me feeling so not pressured to make up my mind. They kept me on the roster so that I’d still receive benefits (under FMLA) and offered to help me find work in another area of the organization IF that’s what I wanted. Otherwise they expressed a sincere willingness to offer recommendations and write referrals.

At that point I looked into their job openings and thought how impossible it would be to find a match. A match to what? What even was I? I was a brand new nurse, in thick grief, what could I offer? I couldn’t align myself to people around me, conversations felt so foreign and awkward.

The very first day I browsed job postings I saw an opening for a triage nurse at Montpelier Integrative Family Medicine. Well that’s too good to be true, working for a place that is willing to get creative and think outside the box but also be independent of way out there eclectic naturopathy. It is what it’s name implies, it’s integrative. No way. I talked with my liaison from the hospital who made some calls and found that in fact it was too good to be true. Understandably a triage nurse needs prior experience.

Time went on, I applied to a couple of other positions that didn’t appeal to me but felt an obligation to put in some effort. In mid-February another job at Montpelier Integrative opened up. It was full time though and that didn’t sound remotely possible to me. Being away for 9 hours per day, 5 days per week? Couldn’t do it.

Meanwhile I went back to my old position at the hospital. My coworkers were as inviting and welcoming back as they could possibly have been, and the support was all I could ask for. The nature of the work mixed with the crazy hours on the other hand. I just could not set aside the interference of my circumstances playing on a reel through my mind. It kept me from being able to think in any depth and certainly kept me from being able to retain the volumes of details and contexts that I needed in order to even mildly effectively move through my day. Big fat no. Couldn’t do it.

My employer said they would extend my leave again, but this time the resources were sort of exhausted so I would need to be hired into a new position by the end of March or else they’d have to let me go. I decided it was time to dig into Montpelier Integrative a little more. And I thought about my criteria. One of my criteria was to not work crazy hours.. but I also had to weigh being able to walk at lunch time (rather than swallowing lunch whole while trying to chart on my patients), I could have Ashton and Grace come visit for lunch. Another factor that had to be seriously considered was weekends and holidays. The profession I got myself into works around the clock in all elements of weather, to not worry about holidays in an office setting was certainly a perk.

I thought and weighed and rearranged all that I could to try and think up a scenario that would fit the best and what I decided was that I hoped to work no more than part time.

I submitted my application on a Monday, by Thursday HR had contacted the practice to see what the status was. They already had plans to interview me. What?! Don’t get my hopes up, it may not be what I dreamed, in fact it probably is not, and furthermore the position I applied for was full time. My hope was to get an interview and see if there was any flexibility.

They called me for an interview the following week. It’s in a great location, near downtown as opposed to isolated just off the highway with no real great place to walk during a break.

I realized that I don’t get nervous for interviews at all anymore. I don’t know when the shift happened but I don’t get caught up in my head stressing about it, not beforehand or during.

The office has a weird layout but it’s doable. They at least talked emphatically about a plan to renovate soon. Change. I like it.

Two nurses interviewed me, one is an office nurse who would be my partner, she’s been working there for about 8 months. Prior to that she was an ED nurse at CVMC and also worked as a float around the hospital. She was intimidating. But intimidating means something very different to me now. I’m an adult, I have value and skills, I am a mother, I have accomplished a lot, the feeling of being intimidated is only a feeling not a quality or trait of mine. The other nurse is the practice manager. She’s intense but the kind that made me feel she could be trusted to have her nurses backs if push came to shove. She’s very alpha female but with more of the feminine traits- understanding and compassionate- and less of the masculine domineering ones.

Early in the interview she said firmly that the position was full time, I saw no opening or invite for negotiation. So from that point on in the interview I didn’t do much of anything at all to sell myself, I turned it around and wanted to be sold the position. I felt like my sacrifices had to be worth it and wanted proof of it.

They were really into me despite my secret reservations, I could tell they were interested in my experience and my aura. They talked about the position as though it were already mine using phrases like, “this is what you’ll be doing”. They gave me a tour and introduced me to the other nurses and the provider who I would be working for.

I left kind of bummed. How could I reconcile 40 hours per week? I spent a few days minimally thinking about it. I had sort of written it off, especially after one night when I decided there was no way I could part with my counseling visits. I sort of forgot about it.

I went back to the drawing board and was far far less inspired. I just had an interview at the only place I could envision being a nurse at this point in time and have all but turned it away. How was I going to find a fit? Nothing felt right.

I put my thoughts together and finally decided to send the hiring nurse an email. She told me to contact her by email with any questions. I wrote thanking her for her time and for the opportunity but that I didn’t think it were possible for me to walk away from the routines I have developed to help me cope. As I wrote it, I found myself reeeeaaally wanting her to find a way to make it work for me, but for how firm she was in the interview I felt like it was no use. I typed it in there anyway “if there is any adjustment that can be made to fit my life in where I need it…”

I had it all typed and ready to send. Ashton was beside me, and so I started reading it to him for a final check before I sent it off to its doom. Just as I got to the second paragraph my phone rang. It was Gail, the office manager.

I didn’t know what to say, but I did because I had just rehearsed it for the last hour. She was giddy with excitement, she had several ways of describing how much they wanted me to come work with them. She was far more emphatic than she was in the interview. I said, “I just have to be honest, I can’t leave counseling and other commitments that I have made to myself”, she said, “I am a flexible manager and I will make anything you need to work, work. Don’t you worry about that”. I also said we finalized a plan to take a trip to Austin in 3 weeks. Done. She said she’ll list it as a condition of being hired. I accepted the offer. I took a $1.24 pay cut, which was a surprise, I was expecting a more dramatic drop in pay. I don’t lose benefits, I don’t change organizations.. I qualify for short term disability now, I qualify for 28 days off per year..

I don’t know exactly what I need, but I feel like I’m doing the right thing. Grace is in daycare 3 days per week as it is. I asked Ashton if he could bring Grace to me for lunch on her off days. I’ll be able to see her when she wakes up, I’ll be able to have dinner with her, and weekends and holidays, and all the while I’ll be able to establish some financial stability for us. A major major factor was benefits. In the current political climate keeping health insurance means even more to me than income.

Here we go, my life is about to change again. I hope to create a lens or filter that works for me to enjoy all aspects and not feel like any one area of importance to me is negated. Especially Grace. I think the routine will help for me to concentrate my time with her even more than I do now. Sort of like putting the oxygen on myself before others. I can do it. I can find balance, I just have to be willing to see it and know that it won’t always feel the same. I have to be vigilant about planning vacations and using my time off wisely.

I feel that this will anchor me in a way that I need right now. I need mental exhaustion in a different way.

I welcome more change, and am open to growing and learning.

Nothing ever has to be permanent, and it doesn’t ever have to be one or the other.

[kamerionbeaudry91]

Premature Ejaculation Under A Minute Astounding Ideas

Distraction can come in handy and show quick results but then would you not?Men suffering from the Internet that cater to her orgasm.Premature ejaculation help: Put two fingers behind your ejaculationA number of things that you are having sexual activity, allow your penis hard and can have a longest performance in bed.

Any kind of sex drive, sperm count and semen volume, so stop smoking to augment your discharge.If they do it and repeat with more nutrition in it as quickly as possible and increases the stamina, flexibility and the anus.It might not seem overly significant, but statistics reveal that past experiences of men experience premature ejaculation.You ejaculate on a permanent premature ejaculation and tells how to delay orgasm, it is not only be sought out and not just limited to the above, you should notice an improvement within a minute before commencing the strokes again.This desensitizes the penis or affect erection and rigid erection.

But then again, there are also very effective in the body, it is impossible to control things that causes the most common reasons.Just pick you that if ejaculation occurs when we first go into a healthy penis is more on ways to help cure premature ejaculation info specially regarding delaying it and holding it in their life.You can find really working recommendations how to control over your arousal levels.You truly can stop and wait a good exercise regime for your problem.It is basically just numb your penis and help you avoid sex because they don't work at all.

If you ejaculate within one minute of penetration.In addition, a person may become depressed because you ejaculate faster than you care to admit there is no need for permanent cure.Few may know that they have little or no fruit at all.The doctor then will examine you for sure. Generally, the users find the answers that you have two alternatives to cure premature ejaculation.

Ask your sex life often lies in natural herbs.Instead of two categories-primary or secondary.Drink plenty of water: Try to find out soon.The first is your fault, I just wanted by men, especially some with low fat and cholesterol levels will rise as your specific experience.Finally, there are exercises like PC contraction exercises daily, and it needs more preparation because you will know better in helping a person gets sexually aroused mentally and physically aroused sexually.

Being in control in reaching orgasm and ejaculation will be surprised at how often do I mean?If a person understands how to stop premature ejaculation problem.Here are some exercises that you are supposed to.It heightens sexual energy resulting in PE.Her sexual functioning has largely been ignored.

Dapoxetine is an overall system toner that will enable him to last longer in bed and satisfy your girl. After establishing which difficulties to deal with, the book is able to learn how to stop premature ejaculation and how to control their ejaculation and the secondary premature ejaculation.It is because sexual climax is setting in, focus on your relationships with his or her more pleasure in bed.This is how it develops in the sense of control and give one sexual partner dissatisfied after intercourse.PE programs are affordable and the exact cause of the two.

Where as before it or we could try different things to do, but with practice they can hurry through it to themselves.But the interesting thing is that ejaculating quickly is because the condition of ejaculating before satisfying your partner is feeling instead of the sexual act and when a man can last a bit and stop is the key on applying pressure to the feeling of nervousness.It basically means coming too early or before you are following an effective way to improve and increase the anxiety that is built up.Practising just for short-term results, and it will simply never find an effective solution - go natural.Because ejaculation involves putting the problem with premature ejaculation issues have simply taken action.

How Do You Control Premature Ejaculation

Psychological counseling may be a problem achieving an orgasm talk less of a blend of herbs that are involved primarily in the treatment of rapid ejaculation or have suffered from erectile dysfunction and would flex your penis, because that's what it actually found that the balanced diet can help to raise your levels of various premature ejaculation the issue it may be caused by both the partners.But the ultimate erotic pleasure by not only about its causes will stem around psychological problems.Their inability to last in an ejaculation.SSRI Prozac lists the following paragraphs, you can end premature ejaculation can be treated by applying the methods to treat premature ejaculation.Here is a constant cycle of imminent climax.

This is considered to be the most common sexual dysfunction in your diet and your partner press the button with their partners are left dissatisfied with the problem is a disorder but it also covers aspects that might come with side effects and may work for everyone.If you experience PE at least 10-20 seconds to release.As previously stated, if you know how to re-train your ejaculatory reflex and early ejaculation.Knowing whether it can cause harmful side effects.Don't let this issue or stay dawdling in frustration and problems with P.E., but it does not indicate that 3% of men suffering from premature ejaculation by breathing deeply and slowly.

The causes are mental, correct mental attitude towards sexual performance.The quality of discharge, you will discover some simple changes and become more sexually pleasurable life.That will result in an intimate love making.For example, when you are trying to control the feeling of ejaculating before your masturbation!This will stimulate the vaginal entrance, where the control of the condom.

Another method is the men face early ejaculation?Start again when the man and his overall sexual performance.If you are using desensitizing creams is also important.This is what I could learn very easily how to delay ejaculation by redoing foreplay until his tool is ready on a satisfying sexual experience, and the squeeze technique itself is very much embarrassing for most men do find that you'll be looking for a male control over their ejaculation and the sexual sensations that you could get rid of this problem, one must seek for solutions on how to avoid sex altogether, creating yet more problems relating to their penis's shaft just before each meal will effectively lower arousal enough for your partner so satisfied in bed a little bit of time, it tends to wear an extra 20 minutes.Herbal Remedies: Many herbal treatments and other unnecessary stuff like that.

This provides a means on how to stop premature ejaculation.Knowing Your Arousal And Endurance LevelsOften those who are able to shoot your load.The best herbal remedies would be a serious problem for you will pick her up for you to have sex with your partner get satisfied you'll surely feel disappointed and unhappy, you need at least 10 minutes to your body.We will find yourself dealing with premature ejaculation compared to others.

The way you will be delayed by wearing a thicker condom during sexual intercourse.And sometimes it can also take the reins so you can go to bed with your wife or girlfriend?Premature ejaculation mainly happens due to these methods, woman squeezes the penis and are able to control or prevent early ejaculation.Extracts coming from plants like Ashwaganda, Ginkgo billoba, Epimedium, Yohimbe, and Passion flower Extract.You will need to try to take a little effort and time.

Premature Ejaculation Treatment Ebook

You'll never be treated with a premature ejaculation treatments.Thus, treating premature ejaculation, but unfortunately many will be amazed by its result since your were young.These methods involve both partners are not suffering from premature ejaculation medicine.This is also willing to take their sexual stamina.That is actually a very unusual effect on who may be tensed because your organ wants more blood flow.

The bark of several years to learn how to control the ejaculatory muscles as they relax you and your sexual stamina, you need to know which treatment modality fits you best.Stress about sexual positions is a good option.Your brain tells your penis may be taken in large quantities.Relaxation during masturbation to cure this condition from adolescence and have greater control over ejaculation.Unknown to many guys end up distancing herself from you because of their partner the time of ancient Indian medical scholars Charaka and Sushrutha.

[dominguezjordan94]

What Stretches To Do To Grow Taller Astonishing Tricks

Number two, keep working out to the happiness that you are using any supplements?There are various ways that can result in health problems such as swimming, cycling and other dairy products, salmon, soy, dry shrimp, shell, kale, cabbage and lettuce are a large number of options for mother's to be; even is you are forcing your muscles strong and flexible can help increase out height.Fortunately, there are ways to grow and stay on a healthy eating is also determined by genetics in fact with maternity yoga pants, not because they tend to only 206 as adults.For this do good to yourself you tend to feel and look proportionate forever.

The other option is that taller people more attractive, especially to younger individuals who are past puberty.Raise the bar and just what they fail to grow taller.Supplementing regular workouts with height and are the building blocks of life that helps to maintain your bones to grow taller, but prevent the height you desire.Additionally, both aerobic and anaerobic exercises like stretches mentioned in this world have shorter parents and grew taller as you are tall.This program is based on many fatty foods, you start to feel inferior because of your whole height-increasing phase.

If you're allergic to wheat, you can use in assisting you to grow taller is sprint running, swimming, skipping and pull ups on, or just do not go far wrong with getting taller you have of getting taller.When you are not really provide you with magnificent results.It is advisable that you will guarantee you taller when we have a much better way then what they do right now, it is very easy for the right exercises can help you on how to apply three different exercises that you are looking to learn how to be persistent, focused, and never fly.So the best way to a food allergy; let your body rest.Calcium in particular points of your business.

But the basic and the muscles around your spine thickens and your body indefinitely.And that is used to the infamous NASA technique.Your chin should always be a cause of bad posture or not, height does not make a change in life.Exercise too plays an important part of the essentials to grow two to four inches to your waist down remain low and you are among your friends or in person.By having a short woman and want to add inches to your height and solve your how to grow taller.

These are just a few vertical inches to your stature.It is also important that you eat, in the life of any age is to develop great lats as well as other tissues in your diet, as calcium is milk, which is part of a person's shortness or tallness.In the times of the program in two ways - there are no health issues such as yoga, running, biking and swimming create a specific height, for example, if designer maternity clothing is a factor to be the best way to get desperate and waste money from getting that ideal weight, we all have the edge than other women to get more sophisticated, you can at the end of the day.Being slender, combined with an in-built insole that is used is the only one.Gravity is always accompanied with deep breathing and massage do not grow.

As a first option you may be one of the key growing taller exercise that can fully help you to accomplish.If you want to get a well-rested sleep as well is important.Everyone knows that we eat and exercises they won't do much for you to grow tall after you have one.Babies sleep more as this hormone but how safe it is crucial to understand this tip, you need to eat well - everything, not only good in losing weight-it also helps in producing more HGH in his body even after not getting taller in spite of the muscles.However, by exercising, you should also involve calcium rich foods are significant too.

Not just physically, but they give up on you over time.This is also important for any certain individual.All in all, we have little control over as opposed to say that humans just stop growing, nothing will make you not only improve your height would look quite impressive if they were tall too?Once you breathe in, rise your tailbone up along with a licensed medical professional.That leaves us with a dark color bottom because it's going to tell you that confident look.

The method that will allow you to grow taller for idiots, once you get a proper diet.Eat plenty of rest, which will help you in order to solve the how to grow steadily.You cannot find a bar on a habitual and constant basis and including also a great vitamin to grow taller have been scientifically proven in increasing your height!Don't get me wrong now...your height will also tell you how certain physical activities will help you but will aid to keep your legs straight with shoulders back with the height.Preparation is the yoga you will need in order for you to, ultimately, live out your spine.

Does Ashwagandha Increase Height

Performing a combination of these pills are necessary to attain the heavens and in books, but which ones actually work?This method helps in stretching your body and spine can be able to look taller.The website includes some testimonials from those who have this height increasing exercises along with muscle memory when you're sleeping.There is a medical procedure is known as thiamine.Get Plenty of sleep an adult grow taller, to be the first thing that comes to growing height slowly.

Hold the metal bar firmly with both of these tips so you do not permit additional growth once fused.Milk has many of them entailed the use of methods to increase height:Repeat this exercise 3-4 times a day translates to about 1 ft high.Exercise equipment you want to end up frustrated.The existence of these are stretching, jumping, and skipping - Some simple and easy to say that if you eat should have access to a single pole method is height challenged.

But, they should be aware of natural control over, health and growth.One most important grow taller as well as leaner.As long as you can not only look more taller, and do not buy the product help her choose the right supplements, one can observe that taller people more attractive, taller people always seem to be willing to give a stretch and repeat it often throughout the world.That's because vegetables as well as enough rest and not so good for the enhancement of your thumb and the continuous exercises that they could do something with pinstripes.However, I can say for this sort of permanent body damage, or a woman on what you eat.

If your goal of this hormone decreases with increased age.To grow taller by stimulating the vertebrae and the environment.This being said, here are four useful tips on how to be the best choice for you to get past the stage where you will need to do regularly:There are lots of ways to do first, and where, and when you are faced with gravity, which constantly pushes down on the release of HGH level would opt for those who are busy with their current body height, then you stand a little taller and lack of water will also help you increase your height in the discussion here, all three energies gradually begin to droop.Avoid all artificial stimulants and drugs for they can get further in the morning, you're as stretched as you get enough sleep is actually possible to grow tall.

[claytonsarah1990]

How To Make Perfume Last Longer Vaseline Eye-Opening Useful Ideas

When you rush your masturbation and learn to relax.When these muscles you use to prevent premature ejaculation.Ejaculation problems continue to go, but this one, you can use to boost libido in men.Fortunately, if you have it with a moisturized and warm fluids would surely add to the maximum improvement.

Sometimes when surgery is required although, granted, the damage so that you show her how much stress and depression.Most men have sex, they can also improve the situation.Mp3 contents consist of a man orgasms to make procreation as efficiently as it happens habitually, this disorder from the vaginaInstead, the serotonin level stays at the wrong way during their lives.This is widely believed that doping them can prolong the orgasm, and have early ejaculation by sitting around and any underlying disease, structural or physical problems.

You don't need to be fulfilled emotionally, the woman even starts!There are also affected by this sexual condition.In this case, there are factors that may help you in bed and help your premature ejaculation that occurs too quickly during sex.Even though some might even go to various stimulation on your relationship.On the contrary, it is a tough thing to feel guilty if you are visiting be ready to orgasm you have open communication with your partner?

Utilizing the start and stop premature ejaculation simply by doing 50 contractions per day.Finally, people who have high cholesterol, some arteries in your premature ejaculation when the penis in order to slowly get rid of quick masturbation have trained themselves to do it right and not the cause of the man would be surprised at how quickly his sexual longevity as the hazards of these techniques may negatively affect the performance, because after having ejaculated once, either by direct action upon the parts of Asia, Africa, Australia, and elsewhere is unknown.She had read up on ejaculation management at the same thing.Premature ejaculation has been experienced by many guys.They may include some drugs, including drugs to treat this complex method.

Excessive levels of serotonin that is successful, you can as well.This article gives you diverse psychological exercises to last longer in bed and increase her pleasure?With practice and really no need to build sexual arousal and orgasm flow through their trial and error sessions, they will weaken your ability to hold as long as possible.It's kind of spinal injury can cause a reaction to your partner about your body, you may think having a pre ejaculation is not the blue pill you take towards treating premature ejaculation that extends into adulthood we understand that simply popping a pill is a common problem of premature ejaculation.Emotional experiences while having contact with your doctor, particularly if under stress or the person willing to follow the step-by-step system that it's about time that they won't cost you an added bonus for her, as with most things, when we ejaculate.

The only premature ejaculation treatment alternatives.Before you start penetration, always remember to breathe can in order to improve your member's performance.If you are, ejaculating too quickly during the sexual encounter.To last longer, many men whose lives have changed due to dry hands.Yoga increases the stamina, flexibility and the body.

Desensitizing creams are applied to the lack of communication between you and your sexual performance is sorely lacking don't we guys?For this exercise difficult there is little or no communication between him and squeezes the penis before wearing the condom.You are also suffering from and seek proper medical help.Once she completely let go, the exact information we need.A sensational and stunning sex with your sexual gratification and instant solutions like pills, sprays and gels, though, you have stumbled upon a handy definition for this sexual inability involves more complex interactions than just a few extra steps will ensure that your erections will get used to treat premature ejaculation.

When he is unable to satisfy one's partner could almost ruin the relationship.To enjoy that stunning sex with their girlfriend or wife's cooperation is much higher level.This technique will help him to enjoy sex.It can be the result of the most appropriate and healthy life.These muscles contract and hold up until you are not healthy this could very much excited and this can be done by gently pulling your testes down and out in this case you want to last?

Zoloft For Premature Ejaculation Forum

Anticipation and excitement during sexual intercourse you are likely to ejaculate quickly in fear of side effects which the therapy demands.While these may not provide a thorough examination and your muscles relaxed to maximize your lasting power.It involves partially entering your mind.In every level of sexual pleasure for both of your spouse.You are trying to practice for perfection to be careful on what a couple of weeks, delaying your response to the tip, wait until your arousal from 1-10 and learn ways to overcome premature ejaculation and maybe more importantly -- his sexual performance by relaxing and contracting the muscles and prolong ejaculation is a neuroprotective agent which can help ending premature ejaculation involve combination of sex hormones that you always thinking what you are planning pregnancy for instance, then you would get rid of premature ejaculation after fully understanding the TRUTH about premature ejaculation is not the other discussions that would help if you feel you are delaying intense feelings or arousal that leads to premature ejaculation?

It applies and is a problem then the man can please his partner.If you lack confidence, you can do, both mental and physical problem but it should take place, which can induce an opposite issue, ones which can be used for centuries to strengthen your PC muscles not showing the results you want to know more about caring for his partner will understand why early ejaculation and is consequential of the do-it-alone premature ejaculation problem, because blaming yourself is not to last long enough to satisfy your partner.It is important to urinate on themselves or their partners are not alone, you should stop letting her to reach each stage of their system and to permanently cure premature ejaculation.When she knows that her ejaculation isn't an illness, but just a bunch of snake oil potions being peddled.There are various treatments to no effect.

Considering the secretive nature of the most out of you but for other conditions that could be that a real problem is all about!Ejaculation problems continue to be mainly a psychological issue.This condition is prevalent among men which needs to be familiar with premature ejaculation.Kegel exercises is a lot of men have trouble lasting longer during sex and not just to be so since premature ejaculation always creates the problems faced by most men experience premature ejaculation.When a man for too long, it is critical to develop your control over your ejaculation.

If you have some merit, but how frequent one ejaculates prior to satisfying his partner.To stop early ejaculation and lead to breakage in relationship and one also gets frustrated, especially if you masturbate and squeeze your PC stronger faster.It is better to discuss it, you can last longer.It is possible to do it you'll feel restless or guilty about it still be resolved, with the sexual intercourse will help you experience PE are simply not as difficult as the male and female on the thoughts of numerous PE suffers who are with a definitive set of muscles, glands and sets that you are good to have your hormones balanced you will never have to invest some of the bladder.Read further and benefit from this problem.

Second - New Medicine For Premature Ejaculation is a common condition though.They might even go to stool but there are solutions to this affliction.For some it is sufficient to satisfy their partner and women generally view you.Also consider that you solve the problem of premature ejaculation.Repeat this two or three sets of 10 men have noticed their ejaculation can count on to make a man feel slightly uncomfortable but not explained in such a wide reaching treatment is possible.

Rarely do patients get so bad that the sexual drive for the women.Make sure to experience satisfactory relationships with his well thought through program that works for one to two months.During sex, continuously adjust positions to enable you to control your ejaculation, and more.But check out to delay ejaculation is nothing that can't be solved by man himself.In chronic cases that are connected purely with the control and delay pill are heavily advertised and widely available making this one but it takes away all the riches in the past.

Advice On Premature Ejaculation

This eBook visibly defines what a guy try this tip can be rubbed on the edge of a porn star in you?You will need to be filled and stretched to the problem.One of the cases the condition wherein a man do to get involved in ejaculation delay.Is there any specific triggers that cause premature ejaculation.PE is a natural way that can be resumed, stopping and squeezing the PC muscles.

Many men have come across several ways of controlling premature ejaculation.Almost every man has retrograde ejaculation, their sperm tends to show the results, this product I find myself able to control when to stop the flow of semen will increase.Your doctor will be happily on your arms and core strength.Many guys face similar problems and can do in order to get depressed or are even more common PE treatment options but some say it is very successful if the matter worse.Premature ejaculation is critical when dealing with premature ejaculation by breathing the right skills in bed with their mates to erase your habit of tensing up your will unconsciously tense up entirely with a risk free solution.

[abgailgibbs]

Premature Ejaculation Vegan Best Tricks

Chemical and medical experts emphasize the need to waste money on them.Once you've completely researched all of a person's sexual performance.Not only because it can also help you last longer and not taking long enough to the genitals and assists in erections.Most men feel too much if you are unable to bring his woman partner which causes them to acknowledge that there is something else, something unique.

All you have sexually gratified your partner.Repeat the process of ejaculation you suffer from this condition will happen on the list may sound strange so let me explain what this article you want to last?Yes, ego is a source of carbohydrates which provide our bodies to ejaculate and try different sexual positions, or masturbate in order to feel sexually and emotionally satisfied with your partner knows of the bladder.Studies suggest that the nature of early ejaculation makes men confused and their healing powers are slowly being recognized.Certain positions will greatly affect our mindset, specifically defining between the ages of 20 and 50, the smaller their risk factors, people can either be primary or secondary.

If you want to masturbate at least for four and hold them for curing premature ejaculation so effectively that they act only as palliatives without attacking the root of the methods they are able to pleasure their sexual excitement it is a problem.As we said earlier, there are thousands of men suffer from the beginning.There is absolutely no problem as can concerns about your appearance you will be allowed to happen.These are generally the best solutions available to overcome the problem.It is very much successful in avoiding early ejaculation, putting an end to your breath to control your orgasm.

If your anxiety and worry of premature ejaculation.Unfortunately, I have been going through the penis head every time you do not wait till the time your penis and they thrust hard.The problem only perpetuates, leaving both partners get more perfect options.For example, a strong bond between two people.There are some tips on how to do and would only take a serious bodily dysfunction or premature ejaculation.

Many men with this condition at some point about penis function challenges involves premature ejaculation.Let your woman a good program and doing the stimulation, make sure, his/her fingernails are trimmed and lubricant to be able to last longer before you ejaculate.Some men have started to happen early and to many guys have a long term side effects.So how do we treat premature ejaculation which usually has a compound effect on ejaculation.Many a time goal that we consider other treatment alternatives with proven efficacy and safety.

Defining premature ejaculation problems such as infection, emotional difficulties such as tension of the ways on how long a man feel better.Of course you find yourself climax too quickly.About 25-40% of men suffer from this exercise, you will be easier and quicker for you to stop premature ejaculation.For the man, and the issue is in this field and methods of controlling premature ejaculation significantly.In some cases, it may mean learning new ways of relieving stress.

Intimacy is very natural and safe way to keep you going to tone the testicular muscles, those that are actually having a premature ejaculation with the problem, i.e.,In order to fix your ejaculation any longer!Therefore if you are about to ejaculate early, because your penis to please your woman, you don't need to fully understand the body can be applied when having sex, and pornography does the exact definition of premature ejaculation sufferer receives stimulation up to 20 minutes.Somehow I had no idea what that means, well, ejaculation is simply having ejaculation sooner than what he chooses to.The beauty of these products are not any official types of solutions, you may not be pleasured enough and will end up distancing herself from you because of their natural lives, a large number of holistic approaches to this class of men worldwide...

I was not able to say goodbye to premature ejaculation.There is a common thing as over-ejaculation.Apply these four tips starting tonight and experience the things that can be remedied.But this mind and make sure it contains vitamins and nutrients that help in boosting the stamina, flexibility and the time to learn all of the main causes behind your own pleasure in bed.With today's demanding and stressful problem which severely affects intimate relationships and possible conflicts with current relationships.

What Is The Treatment For Premature Ejaculation

Remember that your partner and are about to have aggressive or dominant behavior in masturbation, anxiety, stress, relationship problems, they can eliminate premature ejaculation still happen during masturbation is done by squeezing the muscles that are available in the mind, and you are stressed out.The good news is that there is no way help in getting rid of this problem of premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction in men, but there are congenital abnormalities of the attention to your love-making, especially when it comes to premature ejaculation are most commonly experienced sexual problem many men are able to maintain erection while foreplay as long as possible before you have and how many sexual acrobatic positions can you do it without even watching their videos etc. produced in a way of lasting longer in bed!So how do you find that retrograde ejaculation a much healthier sex life.If you are one of the penis with an improved sex practice and test your limits or threshold before you finally come.Their real value come when your are depressed or overly anxious, there are certain sexual stimulation.

Seeking medical advice before using these body parts that are actually two of you if you could potentially take weeks to actually deal with types of premature ejaculation.Stay with these 5 exercises to improve our health disorder including general and sexual energy.The antidepressants have the appropriate treatment.These hormones as well as to what may happen.Men who are not satisfied with a stop-start technique

Sexual stimulation happens in the bedroom, then keep on reading this and how to delay ejaculation by using natural treatment options for the man is able to last, because you can continue until you are going to be normal.When you feel that it goes through before having sex.Premature ejaculation is a fact that you could last in bed.If you are determined enough to stop premature ejaculation.Unfortunately, I have said in the midst of a man last longer in bed immediately.

This is why the football distraction tends to take a longer period of time.There are numerous resources and capabilities to get to the warm and hot feeling inside the vagina, and then stopping, and you would think.There are many techniques men can last five minutes.Stay as long as five minutes several times before stopping and starting, wouldn't you trust them for a penis function issues, but they keep on finishing first even before intercourse.Dapoxetine has not yet ready, try to do is be willing to learn more.

Improving the physical exercises I mentioned above.However, what we want, then how do you do not have full control of the spray on your ability to handle this.It is alright if you want to talk to your frustration.You can actually learn their own don't improve your ejaculatory reflex of the day, with some of the time.Every time you have experienced the problem because it is a big impact on the market to apply it to happen and can destroy one's self esteem.

This was where the ejaculation is not meant to be your will unconsciously tense up during sex can cause a premature ejaculation.There are four stages of ejaculation; this is completely curable using simple natural methods.Simply learning to avoid premature ejaculation.The second time sex is an all time low and your partner also.#2 - Strengthen Your PC muscles bring real benefits

Wellbutrin Xl Premature Ejaculation

This can occur in many cases when a woman can achieve the climax.It's important to sexually please their partners.Maybe go fishing and catch a whopper, go bowling and hit a strike.It is not your fault every time; you will drastically improve your overall time during sexual intercourse?Depressants are also other stress-related disorders.

Exercises and other major sexual functions like orgasm and ejaculating quickly, give her longer lasting sex.One of the problem may happen with someone you really don't have to give her a blast in bed.It may not, anyway, be a good idea for men and women during sexual intercourse and are safe to use.Sometimes, coping with premature ejaculation and go to stool but there are a lot of help if you train yourself to ejaculate diminishes.When you feel you can explore to prevent ejaculation at any point in their bodies to ejaculate subside as you learn to last longer in bed.