#so i'm like. i don't live there anymore and i'd need to make a phone call to do any reporting

[sadfraudfrogs]

I currently need to throw my phone into a river because if my mum looks through my phone I'm fucked

[louisa-gc]

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

[landograndprix]

╰┈➤ ❝ desire • l.n c.l ❞ xiii

part twelve - book 2

➪ Charles hasn't paid much attention to you after your daughter was born but a certain Brit does.

➪ life is going from bad to worse but maybe a bit of alone time is exactly what you need.

➪ mom!reader x dad!Charles x lando

➪ last part before we continue on desire book 2! Very annoyed because the site I used to edit the text messages is gone and now I have to change the whole aesthetic of the fic. Tag list is closed.

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y/nusername posted to their story

landonorris replied to your story

landonorris

pick up your phone

where are you?

babe text me back pls

text me pls

baby I'm sorry

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y/nusername

liked by charles_leclerc, manon_roux and 548,534 others

y/nusername week 14. 🇧🇪

view all 1,114 comments

norrizz absolutely foul that they set you up with Danica all the time 😂

↳ bott_ass is like they want a cat fight on live television 💀

norris4 did you and lando break up?

milliexoxo didn't invite me for some waffles? Rude.

↳ oscarpastry pretty sure you were in the wrong garage 😉

carlandooo millie and Logan confirmed? 👀

oscarpastry she was just in williams garage, doesn't have to mean anything ofcourse but they've been seen together a couple times 👀

bobnorris did you break up with lando???

joris__trouche douce petite fille avec sa nouvelle amie 🦁 (sweet baby girl with her new friend)

↳ leclerc_16 it's been a while since I saw uncle joris in the comments 😭

landoooo why are y'all asking her if her and lando broke up?!

↳ norry4 just a stupid rumor going around again..

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 746,523

y/nusername rien que nous deux 🌞 (just the two of us)

view all 1,109 comments

norrizz oh..okay :(

hannahh going on a holiday all by myself with a toddler sounds like a nightmare to me, you go mom!

norry4 who remembers millie getting excited about her holiday to Greece with the 'norris bunch' 😔

↳ lan4lan stop she was so excited when y/n told her 😭

yukisan when was this?

norry4 one of mils her vlogs

hamilt44n fastest kid in the pool 🏎 💨

bott_ass put me in your suitcase next time please 😭

landoscar wonder why they broke up..

↳ clsixteen nothing had been confirmed yet, jeez y'all need to calm down

julieeeexo hope you guys enjoy your little girl vacation <3

landonorizzzz guys lando is still liking her posts, it's probably nothing (I'm delulu 😔)

↳ charliecharlie charles is also still in her likes and guess what they are? Not together anymore :(

landonorizzzz girl shut up 😭

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y/nusername posted to their story

manon_roux replied to your story

manon_roux

Hi there, it's been a while and I completely understand if you don't want to speak to me and feel free to ignore this message but I've been seeing all the things they've written about you and everything that's happened and I just need to know if you're doing alright, making sure zoë is doing good

I know we don't see eye to eye anymore but you were my best friend since we were little kids so I'll always think about you, I hope you understand that

I'd apologise a thousand times for what I said and did but I also understand you're done withe me

I'm asking for you to give me your whole story but a thumbs up to let me know you're okay would ease my mind

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Desire taglist; @fangirl-dot-cm @sainzluvrr @writingworlds @chezmardybum @lewisvinga @xjval @fanficweasley @rockyhayzkid @aundercover @thecubanator2 @minchedchilli @crimeshowjunkie @alisoncasey21 @eeviepepi08 @shamelesspotatos @sleepybrokenmelle @leireggsworld @janeholt3 @iamahalicinationn @dessxoxsworld @kapsylia @22yuki

Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @severewobblerlightdragon @cherry-piee @namgification @mycenterfold @devineendevers @celestialend @jsjcue @d3kstar @themislovesf1 @geehsf @mehrmonga @gentlemonsterworld

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2 @i83andrew @mcmuppet @justdreamersdream

[pickingupmymercedes]

Lewis Masterlist

Series

It comes with the territory p.1 / p.2 / p.3

“This… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But no love is worth losing my sanity over. Not even ours.”

An Invisible String Theory Story p.1 / p.2 / p.3

"I’ve always felt that string pulling me closer to something. But never, not even in my most beautiful dreams, had I imagined that it was to bind us together."

It was bound to come out p.1 / p.2

"Do I look like I'm joking? This is not a joke! My father has seen a video of us... the one video that couldn’t leave my phone!"

Not just a pretty face p.1 / p.2 / p.3 / bonus

"because even this… even this agonizing dance is better than not having you at all."

Maybe in another life - p.1 / p.2 / p.3

"A what-if that will forever linger in the quiet corners of my mind."

She’s here and she’s ours - p.1 / p.2 / p.3 / p.4 / p.5 / p.6 / p.7 / p.8

You couldn’t really tell if he was telling you or himself that. "How you feeling dad?" "Amazed, hopeful, scared... in love"

Get me out of here p.1 / p.2

“Why are you defending him?” “Because we need to think this through, babe. Toto’s not one of us anymore, you saw it.”

Your future was Ferrari - p.1 / p.2

Surely, it meant nothing for Lewis and you would probably never see him again. Your future was at Ferrari, somewhere he would never step foot in. Or would he?!

Multichapters

Ways to say “I love you” p.1 / p.2 / p.3(NSFW)

All these little things p.1 / p.2

Small firsts p.1

Firsts - NSFW p.1 / p.2

Ways they show they love each other p.1 / p.2

One-Shots

Angst

It had to be enough - "I’m so fucking tired of fighting, of trying to prove that I still belong here." "I can’t keep watching you tear yourself apart like this. It’s killing me, Lewis."

Home is wherever you are - "You shouldn't have come" "Had to"

An impossible dream - "Don't you ever wonder what could have been?"

I didn't get scared. I'm always scared - “Do you even understand what it’s like for me? To love someone who lives every day like it might be their last?”

Not now, not ever - "You don't have to go through this alone, you know"

I'll come find you - “I’m scared… of how things have been, of how things are going to be.”

If these wings could fly - “I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like Sunday. It’s been so long and everyone’s worked so hard for that”

And just like the sun, we will rise - “I can’t promise to have all the answers, but please let me in”

Fluffs

What it means - “Since I was five, since I first saw Ayrton race on TV. He was my absolute hero, and I didn’t know much about the world back then, didn’t know what I could be, but seeing him… it made me believe.

Lucky you're hot - The kind of kiss that would’ve been cute—if it weren’t for the fact that I was very much on camera, in a professional setting, with a dozen or so people watching.

A smile like that -"And he’s out there, posting photos like it’s some romantic movie."

A bit mushy - How Lewis and his wife do in a couple's Interview.

Happy you're home - "And trust me, he adores you. He just doesn't know how to express it."

Later it is - “But that safety pin right there is holding on for dear life.” “I only care about what you think.” “Flatterer.”

Of thorns and blooms - "It's meant to be worn by someone who sees the world differently, who tells stories with every thread"

He always rises - "Like I knew I'd given it my all, every lap, every strategy meeting. And finally, finally, it’s paying off. It feels… good. It feels so damn good."

R for Roscoe, C for Coco - "You went through all this trouble just for Father's Day with Roscoe?"

Boy from Stevenage - "you don't need to win over that entire room tonight. You just need to make that brave boy from Stevenage proud."

Whispered fairytale - "The point is in the surprise. The joy of meeting them, whoever they are, for the very first time."

A thousand times over - "Since I still don’t believe it’s true… would you marry me, again?"

It sounds silly - "I'm a grown woman who’s achieved success in life, yet… I find myself comparing to those other women."

NSFW (+18 only)

Can't check out -“Where’s the cutthroat guy who would have had me pinned to the wall by now?"

Utterly gone -“But for the record, I also owe you.”

Very First -“I want this. I want you. And I’m not saying that lightly.”

Salty -"Told you” she whispered, her thumb brushing against his bottom lip. "It’s salty."

Damn him -“I believe you’ve got two things that are mine” “My hair tie you took with you this morning. And you babe, you're mine.”

Give yourself some credit - “I’m gonna give you five minutes to mourn that shit qualy” “You think you can handle me, pretty girl?”

What those arms can do - "Let's focus on you for now, love. And what these arms can do to you."

Warm enough - "Did you know there were no doors in this place?" "I might have known. Thought it could be romantic"

It's not just a win - The 104 special - "I just...I needed this. I needed to win. To prove to myself that I still can."

Improvised Compensation - "My plans definitely involve you" he continued, "but they can be done anywhere"

As good as chocolate - "That's a new way to claim your share"

I'm yours, only yours - Vegas special - “You really thought she was any match for you?”

It always points South - “Your compass tattoo, huh?”

My Venus - MET special - "I can actually feel your eyes searing holes in my dress, Lewis."

I want South - "Hello, miss explorer”

You only need to ask - "Seems like someone's forgotten how we got here in the first place"

It's Mrs. Hamilton - “Mark me, show me who I belong to”

The things we do for fashion - "Like what you see?" "More than you'll ever know."

Show me you care - “I’m asking you to, show me how much you want this, because I know you do”

My mark - “I’m not one to leave things unfinished”

NSFW alphabet

Senna!Reader x Lewis Hamilton

Thank you for everything - "It doesn't matter how long it's been" "Grief doesn't have a deadline."

Under an Ipê tree - “He would’ve liked you I think… would’ve hated to race you, for sure."

Drabbles

Do not under any circumstance plagarize, edit, repurpose, or repost any of my original work. this includes all of my works.

copyright © 2024 pickingupmymercedes all right reserved.

[insomaniacat]

orv spoilers

tbh I'm so happy there is no explicit romance in orv (minus the brief stuff that happens with jhw and lhs) and because of that I feel like I've been able to appreciate kdj in such a profound way as a character

like sure i like joongdok and yoohankim but to me at least kdj has this level of asexuality to him that I don't usually associate him with anyone that romantically. And their relationships are still as complex and has such a great depth that they are like THE foundest of families and I can return to the kim dokja company at the end of the day as all of them being my comfort characters. you know that saying like 'i love you so much i'd make the world burn for you'? it's meant to be this dramatic line about how much you love someone (romantically), but kdj's company fully encapsulates this in a platonic way that just isn't cringey or anything like that

they are all so platonic but they love each other to such an unconditional way that they ALL decide to relive through all the scenarios again in the hope of finding kim dokja again. and later, they all help to write and spread a story - stories, the thing the reader loves - again, in hopes of bringing kdj back home. they aren't sure if it'll work, but it is through this love they all have that they don't give up and put their hope in this seemingly impossible method

and this is also what makes them fundamentally different from kdj. unlike kim dokja in the apocalypse, they do not have any sort of proof their methods will work. kdj has twsa - the novel he grew up reading, the novel he fantasized living in, the novel that he's spent 13 years following, learning every nook and cranny and probably even planning out his own way to survive the apocalypse from this lengthy novel. he has some sort of assurance his methods will work, with the amount of time hsy put into describing the settings (remember that twsa was not popular and one of the complaints was that tls123 put too much emphasis on the settings that deterred people from reading it, when really, that too was a way to ensure kdj survived the apocalypse later on). he has had time to reassure himself and plan for it, and probably had yjh case test them all

but kdj's company had no assurance - they did not grow up with a book that confirmed their methods of bringing kdj back would work. they did not have any 'third plans', no 'ressurections', no 'restarts', that kdj had in the apocalypse. all they had was their own hope - something kdj didn't have when he was fifteen sitting in that hospital bed after that failed suicide attempt, feeling like the whole world was against him. Until he searched up those three words on his phone. Those three words that were probably 'Ways of Survival'.

And then he found his hope in twsa. he found his hope in yjh, the protagonist made just for him. he found hope in the story that he believed in for the next thirteen years. the story that got him through high school, the CSATs, the military. his hope was in this tangible book that carried him through the apocalypse.

kdj's company had none of that. they only had their hope in kim dokja - the man they survived the scenarios with. they could only put their hope in their memories of surviving with the man that saved them, even though there was no evidence he lived in their world anymore. they had to put their hope in the fact that they remembered he existed, even though they had to acknowledge that they didn't know everything about him.

sing shong touches upon this idea a lot throughout orv - does something really exist if no one knows about it? or, in a more modern saying, did a fallen tree in a forest really fall if no one heard it? what proves the existence of something? what proves that something truly happened? sing shong seems to make it pretty clear that the existence of something can be represented metaphorically like a 'story', and stories need a 'reader', some sort of spectator that witnesses it, for the 'story' to exist.

for kim dokja, his final sacrifice, where he split into infinite little pieces scattered across the universe, was to ensure that everything existed. that open ending, as tragic as it was, was meant to be comforting. that his sacrifice was supposed to be so existences like you and me, are real. no matter how lonely we may feel throughout our lives, a metaphorical 'kim dokja' is looking at our own stories, spectating our own stories, even living our own lives himself.

and what i hate to say sometimes is that kim dokja is not really a character - he is an idea. he is an idea of some being affirming our lives, that it's real, that what we do from day to day, even something as simple as getting up in the mornings and brushing your teeth, or thumbing through a store catalog, matters. and this is why kim dokja sacrificed himself. for all the stories that may have not 'existed' if no one was watching it.

and it's out of love. this tragic, terrible love for the world, that eats away at yourself until you are nothing. but at least you exist.

[filipinoizukuu]

fun fact about togame, his voice actor also voices a jojo character named "Weather Report" (you see where i'm going with this?)

i want to believe that the one singular contact number in sakura's phone is not in fact his piss poor attempt to use a phone, but rather a well-kept secret point of contact between him and one certain togame jo. after the showdown with shishitoren and the rooftop celebration, togame and sakura remain... curious about each other. it starts off surface-level enough. togame wants to find a way to repay his debts somehow -- keep an avenue available to someday prove to sakura that he isn't so lame anymore.

he's eternally thankful to sakura for snapping him out of whatever fugue state choji's mistakes put him in and wants to actually befriend sakura because of it. make sure he hasnt changed and all. meanwhile sakura contemplates it, because umemiya WAS right in the grand scheme of things and he did somehow "communicate" with togame in their fight. he wants to keep talking to togame, sort of. learn all the things he couldn't gather with his jabs and kicks. so they both find themselves at the tunnel a few days after the fight as complete coincidence.

its complete fate they ran into each other without meaning to, but togame wastes no time in warmly greeting sakura and chatting him up. night begins to creep up and at that point sakura knows they've gotta start getting home if they both don't wanna start shit sitting out at night on territory boundaries while wearing their respective recognizable uniforms. he's hesitant to pull away from the conversation though and togame seizes the opportunity to ask for sakura's (barely used) phone and write himself into sakura's contacts. (he doesn't even have a password btw)

"Wow~ Not a single person on here, Othello-kun."

"Hah? What th' hell would I even need it for? If I need something, I can just go ask in person. None of that slow, boring texting crap."

"You really live life too fast, haha. What if it's too small for the effort? Or you can't come find me in time? Shishitoren territory is quite far from Furin's campus, after all."

"What would I even need'ta ask you that isn't urgent enough to come here, scraggly?"

Togame simply laughs under his breath. "Anything you can think of." he hands the phone back to Sakura, screen lit up with a single new contact under the name 'Weather.'

That's stupid.

The older boy continues to tease Sakura. "Call me to ask about the weather, if you really can't come up with anything at all. I promise I'd pick up; it's the least I can do for you after everything."

They part ways, and even if neither of them mention it -- Sakura keeps this encounter close to his chest. Thinks about it when his classmates make fun of him for it the very next day, even as he says nothing and lets them tease him. With 5 new names in his list of contacts, he remembers to go home and scroll to 'W' and asks about the weather tomorrow. Asks a whole lot of other things too. All until he falls asleep.

(He never changes Togame's contact name after that. Not even months later, stranded on a bridge and staring down an army of enemies and another black-haired tall douchebag to humble. What will the weather be like tomorrow? Clear motherfuckin' skies, baby.)

[aniesvision]

wanna bet? (chris sturniolo x f! reader)

part 1!

warnings: enemies to lovers trope!, teasing, one annoying the other, suggestive, honestly just back and forth arguments

a/n: heyy, I'm making three parts of this 'cause it's way too long to be just in one part. friendly reminder: english is not my first language. 💕

synopsis: when you and Chris were left alone for a few hours and you can't stop arguing with each other, without Nick or Matt to separate you both, he decides to do something about it himself.

🪻🪻🪻

I walk down the stairs with a towel in hand drying my hair. When I realized that there was no one but me in the living room, and that Nick was not in his room, nor Matt in his, I came to the conclusion that the boys probably left me here alone. At least a moment of peace.

It was all I needed, until I heard footsteps and saw the silhouette of the boy I liked the least appearing in front of me, already rolling his eyes before he even fully saw me.

-Where's Nick? —His voice was hoarse, as if he had just woken up, even though it was past 2pm.

He wore a black denim shorts and a white tank top, his wet hair letting a few drops of water fall to the floor. Although he didn't seem so excited by my presence, he still walked towards me.

-He went out with Matt. —I answer, without much interest. I look through the kitchen cabinets, searching for some snacks.

-So they left us alone. —He scoffs, frustrated, looking at me as if it was my fault.

And I thought I'd have a few minutes of peace in this house.

-I'm not happy about it either, dude, stop looking at me.

I grab a Doritos, opening it and eating one as I make my way to the living room couch. Chris lets out an angry sigh and takes a pepsi out of the fridge, then throws himself on the opposite end of the sofa.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and types for a few seconds before tossing the phone on the side table and opening the soda. I turn on the tv, looking for a movie to watch.

-They're at Target and then they'll stop by BK to bring food. Matt said it should take an hour.

Chris announces, not taking my attention off the tv as I listen about where my friends are. An hour wasn't that long, I could watch something in silence if he cooperated and didn't open his fucking mouth.

Not wanting to continue the conversation, I just shake my head in affirmation and open the suspense tab, looking for something that I hadn't seen yet.

-Put on an action movie.

The boy's voice is heard again and I close my eyes, trying to stay calm. I take another doritos in the package, realizing that it was already running out.

-Action is bad and I want to see something cool until the boys are back, so shut up and let me choose. —I answer with a calm but serious voice, warning him not to exceed my limits of kindness.

He kept his arms crossed and his legs slightly apart from each other. I feel my blood boiling and I knew I was about to get carried away with my emotions and end up in yet another argument that would suck out all my energies.

Without responding me, he moves on the couch, sitting closer to me and taking the control out of my hand, clicking on the horror tab.

-It can be something we both like. —He says, his voice sounding calmer, but his expressions the same.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms and legs, letting him choose without giving my opinion. It wasn't going to make any difference and it's just for another hour until the boys arrive and I don't have to deal with him anymore. After going through a few covers, he pressed play on a random horror movie that seemed to be about spirits or something, quite cliche.

The movie starts and I quickly realize that my snack is over. I let the plastic bag on the table next to Chris's pepsi and take the opportunity to take a few sips of his soda, feeling like drinking something after eating all the doritos in the package.

-Hey! That's my pepsi! —He looks at me angrily, which makes me laugh a bit and hide the can behind my body when I see him walking towards me ready to take it back.

Chris stops in front of me, trying to pull the pepsi out of my hand, while I just move it from side to side. When he was about to get it, I quickly drink the last sips.

-Get over it, it's just a soda. —I say, placing the can next to the finished doritos on the table and ignoring his furious gaze.

I sit in the middle of the couch, trying to turn my attention back to the movie. I hear Chris sigh loudly, but he doesn't do anything but sit down next to me and cross his arms again, locking his jaw and not taking his eyes off the screen.

A few minutes pass in silence and I feel the couch vibrate. I looked around in confusion until I realized that Chris's phone was buzzing. He picks it up and unlocks the screen, clicking on the notification and reading the text. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him rolling his eyes and blocking the screen again without even responding, throwing his head back and closing his eye.

-What? One of your little girlfriends broke up with you? —I ask, provoking him.

I hadn't read what it was, even though I was close enough, I don't like to invade anyone's privacy, but from his reaction I knew it was something bad and if it was bad for him it was good for me.

-Nick said they're gonna take longer.

His answer had already played out as a possibility in my head, but it was still a burden to have to spend more time alone with him.

I had no clue what was the story of the movie anymore because I missed so many parts, so I had nothing stopping me from angering him even more. I get up from the couch, walking to the kitchen, seeing him follow me with his gaze, but not interested enough to follow behind me. I open the fridge, grabbing the last can of pepsi and look back at him with a smile.

-How lucky, it's the last one. —I announce, seeing him get up and walk towards me.

I hurry to open the can and take a few sips, starting to run around the kitchen counter as the boy chases after me to try and grab what's left of his favorite soda. I run back to the couch, making him stop in front of me, seeing that I had nowhere else to run, but the can was already half empty.

I was doing everything I could to annoy him, and it was working.

-Give me the Pepsi. —He demands, his voice serious.

He walks in slow steps and I smile sarcastically before putting another amount of the drink in my mouth and he takes advantage of the situation. With one hand he takes the pepsi from me, and with the other he joins my two hands and holds me by the wrists. His eyes focused on mine as I noticed how his pupils had dilated, the black now predominant, leaving no space for the blue.

-You need to stop acting like a bitch. —He groans, so stressed that his sentence almost came out between his teeth.

I felt the tension weighing down and now it seemed to be a lot more serious than before, but it's not like I was afraid to mess with him.

Chris squeezed my wrists tighter, which I was sure it'd turn red later, then he let go. He chugged the rest of the Pepsi and left the can next to the other on the side table.

Chris gave me one last, almost deadly, look and sat back down on the couch. I allow myself to process the situation. The look he gave me was his way of telling me that "enough is enough".

He manspreads, arms crossed and his jaw locked. I rolled my eyes, sitting a little further away and not letting my eyes stray from his face, he was eventually turning slightly red, I knew he was holding all the anger inside. It never took much for us to get angry with each other.

-You didn't last long this time. —I tease, my voice low, almost disappointed.

The movie was still running on the tv. It hadn't been that much time, and from Nick's message you could tell they were going to take longer then we expected anyways. Being without any entertainment until then was torture, and I knew that he wouldn't leave me alone to use my phone or do anything by myself, which I took as an advantage, I could use our time to make him mad.

-Shut up. —His answer came quietly, almost in a whisper.

I smiled at his reaction and move closer to him, letting our shoulders lean against each other.

-Oh, c'mon, it was just pepsi. —I laugh internally as I feel his gaze on me once again, looking even more stressed, if that was even possible.

Our gazes met and I felt on my skin all the irritation he felt. Being so close made me feel for the first time confused about how this was going to end. Normally our fights never get too bad, mostly because Nick and Matt were always there to push us away, but now it was just the two of us.

-You better shut the fuck up. —Another whisper, but this time I felt a slight shiver down my spine.

He was serious, he always was, but now I felt like I was really pushing his buttons. Although usually I'd get stressed back, I was having fun, seeing him so mad was funny.

-Or what?

I watch his every moves carefully. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few seconds before looking back at me with a smirk that makes me a bit nervous.

My body involuntarily moves backwards, getting into a position where I could observe everything from a better angle. Without having any answers, I allow myself to relax and turn my attention to the tv, with the same movie still playing.

-I'll have to do it for you.

This one was not as low as the last few replies, but enough to cheer me up. He was going to fight back, finally, maybe I would even get mad back if he was lucky.

I let out a nasal laugh, as a form of provocation, and turn my gaze to his face again, which like mine, until a few seconds ago, was focused on the tv. Seeing him so angry wasn't something new for me, but I felt something different this time. I wanted more, I wanted to see him explode with rage.

-And what are you going to do? You could barely take a can of Pepsi out of my hand, didn't make me angry, you're just pretty weak today. You can't shut me up, you can't even calm down, let go of your anger, Chris, that stupid face of yours doesn't scare me.

I speak in a normal tone, looking at him with all the sarcasm I could. He bites his cheek, making me smile to finally see that maybe he was reaching the height of his anger, but to my surprise he just smiled.

I didn't let myself look surprised, but his next steps were unexpected. Chris stepped closer again, grabbing my wrists and pinning them above my head.

-If you want me to let go of my anger so much then maybe I'll use you to calm down, what do you think?

His dilated pupils made his eyes turn completely black, not showing even a trace of blue anymore. He held me tight, but not so tight that I couldn't get out, it wasn't an obligation, he was giving me a choice.

With that I feel my hatred rise once again, but despite being mad enough to fight back at the same level, I was too surprised by the offer to even think of a response. I knew he was just teasing me, but that kind of subject never came into our mouths while we were fighting before. Not once. Not ever.

-Fuck you. —I answer through my teeth, letting out all the hatred I felt for him at that moment, which only made him laugh and loosen my wrists, but not pulling back or looking away.

-I'm sure you wouldn't feel so stressed if you let me fuck you right now, maybe you'll calm down a little. —He keeps talking and I feel my body heating up in anger.

Now he crossed the line, he crossed them faster than he should have and I didn't like that. I didn't want to lose the advantage I had or lose this stupid argument, and it was obvious that neither Nick or Matt were going to arrive at the right time to separate us as it happens in movie scenes.

He had used my own poison against me and I wouldn't let him get away with this.

-Chris, let's face it, you could try all night, but you'd never make me feel good. I'm sure my own hand is more effective than your fucking cock.

I roll my eyes, feeling weird for saying these words, but it was interesting to see how his expression has completely changed. He no longer had an idiotic smile on his face, but rather the seriousness that followed him whenever we were together.

For a second I felt victorious, I knew that him being serious meant that I could be on top of the situation again, but that feeling passed as soon as I realized that he was actually analyzing me. I furrowed my eyebrow in confusion as I stared into the depths of his soul through his eyes, trying to know what the hell he was thinking about. Soon enough, his smirk returned, it was small but noticeable.

-Wanna bet?

[smuthospital]

⭐️Yandere Gojo x reader⭐️

Premise: You're so lonely, and your boyfriend isn't paying any attention to you, so you download an app to make friends. You meet the wrong guy (Gojo), and bad things happen.

Content warning: NON CON, Cheating, gn reader

MINORS DNI

"I'm busy right now and you know that. I told you not to call me!" The phone beeps and the call ends, leaving you alone in deafening silence. Your boyfriend has always been rough around the edges, but you love him despite his flaws. He has his moments that remind you why you like him so much. Lately, he's been busy with all sorts of things. Work, family, his hobbies. You live together, but he's always out. He doesn't even return at night sometimes. You understand he needs his alone time, but it's been so long since you've seen him. You called to ask if you could visit him at work and give him a little surprise. You baked him chocolate chip cookies! They're delicious and made with love. Tears prick your eyes as you toss your phone to the side. You're so lonely. You've never had many friends, just your boyfriend. Too many people just make you tired.

You pick up your phone and almost call him again out of reflex. You just wish you had someone to talk to again. You saw an advertisement for a popular friend making app awhile ago. You decide to download it because you don't have much to lose. search it up. You write a few things about yourself, add your favorite song as well as a few pictures of yourself. You cross your fingers, hoping not to match any creeps. You swipe right on a lot of girls aswell as guys. You stated in your bio that you're in a commited relationship to ward off any horny guys. Girls don't reply to you, much to your disappointment. You end up getting quite a lot of messages from flirty guys. The relationship warning seemed to have no affect at all.

Toji: How much for a pair of pantys?

Sukuna: (Sent a photo) *Blocked*

Todo: I know it grips. Please lemme hit

25 new messages!

Geez. It's only been an hour. These guys are like hungry raccoons and you feel like a can of cat food. You scroll through and see one that looks relatively innocent

Gojo: Hey :)

You: Hello!

Gojo: What's up? I saw that you have a cat! They're so cute! Also, you're gorgeous

You: Thank you! That's my lil baby right there

You and him quickly get along. Still no word from your boyfriend, you sigh, defeated. The cookies can wait. You tell him about your boyfriend and how you never see him that much anymore. Be seems to take interest in this and becomes quite upset that you're not treated with the love you deserve. You friendship goes on for a few days. He occasionally trys to flirt with you, but you quickly shut it down each time, politely asking him to respect your boundaries. His nickname for you is gorgeous and although it makes you a bit uncomfortable, it feels too good to hear for you to ask him to stop. He's your only friend at the moment so you really don't want to make him go away.

You: Still no reply from my boyfriend. I hope he's okay.

Gojo: What the fuck. If I had a girl like you, I'd never leave her alone. He's probably cheating

You: What? He'd never. He's not like that!

Gojo: Trust me, I'm a guy, I know. Just look at the way he treats you. You're such a sweet and polite doll and he's making you feel this way, neglecting you. He makes you feel like shit. This is abuse😡

You: Oh it's really not like that, he's really sweet!

Gojo: There you go again...I can treat you better. Just give me one chance. Nobody has to know. You can leave this abusive relationship.

You: We talked about this, I'm have a boyfriend and I love him. Don't say stuff like that, please

Gojo: I'm just sayin

You: Thank you tho, it's sweet that you care. Do you like cookies? I was saving these for my boyfriend, but he's too busy to receive them. They'll go to waste if they're not eaten

Gojo: YES. SEND THE COOKIES. You wanna come over tomorrow? I know you're free. Come to my place, we can watch movies and cuddle with cookies!

You: What!? I can't go over to a guy's house! That's weird! And cuddle!?

Gojo: Nono it's not. We're just friends. And your boyfriend doesn't have to know. It's not a big deal. I have some old wine we can drink. Pretty please

You: I don't drink tho. I'm not sure. I haven't known you for too long. What if you try to take my kidneys! :0

Gojo: Common..would I do that!?? Ridiculous. Don't over think it. Let's watch a scary movie. It'll be real scary. I can't watch it alone! Pleeeeaaase!!!

You: ...Ok...as long as its scary. I wouldn't want you to get too scared

You've never seen Gojo in person, but you're sort of desperate to keep him around as a friend. In his photos, his eyes are covered. You don't question why. You step off the bus at the address he texted you, cookie basket in hand. It's a tall, expensive looking condo. You walk into the nice building and spot him leaning against a wall you in the lobby. He's not what you expected at all. You've seen a pictures of him before, but he didn't look so large and intimidating. He's stupid tall and He practically towers over your frame. He crouches slightly and wraps his arms around you in a tight hug, surprising you with the sudden contact.

"Hey, (y/n)! It's nice to see you in person! You're so much more sexy up close." His voice as soft satin sheets and deep and melodic as a cat purring. He eyes you up and down, his eyes half lidded. He's snapped out of his trance when you stutter a confused thank you. You're gonna brush that flirt off as nothing. "Common, let's go." He takes your soft, smaller hand in his ridiculously big hand and leads you to a fancy elevator and sticks a key into a key hole, confusing you. Since when do elevators do that? "The 21sr floor is mine." The whole floor is his? Is he loaded?

The whole time, you're blushing and stuttering, overly shy and nervous. 'Play it cool,(y/n)!' Your mind is over heating and he thinks it's absolutely adorable. When you get to his floor, he closes the door and silently locks it behind him. He plops on the couch, spreads his long legs out and patts the spot next to him. "Common! Take a seat!" You gingerly take a seat a little too far for his liking so he loops an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. You jump a bit. "Oh don't be shy! I don't bite." The last part of his sentence stood out to you a bit, but you're not sure why.

He offers you a drink and you accept. He hands you a cup of soda. "The conjuring is a classic. I actually haven't seen it before so I thought we could watch it." With that, he presses play and the movie starts. You're both eating the cookies you made. "These are so fucking good. You made these?" He whispers and you nod. Your blushing cheeks are so cute. He's already eaten three. It's heartwarming. Halfway into the movie, he shuffles in his seat and surprises you by picking you up and placing you on his lap with ease. "Hey! What are you doing!?" You try to slide off, but he holds you in place. "Hey hey calm down, I'm not doing anything!" You stop thrashing, but don't stop struggling. "Oh yeah!? Let me off, you said no funny buissness!" You feel slightly tired for some reason. "I'm only trying to cuddle you better! If not for me, then for you. I bet you miss being cuddled. I know you already have a boyfriend so don't worry, there's nothing weird about it!" With that, you stop struggling, too worn out to argue. "...Mm ok." Near the end of the movie, he shifts slightly under you. "Gojo?" No response. You feel somthing hard under your ass. He starts to shift you back and fourth a bit. "Huh? Gojo?" He just keeps shifting you, holding your hips tightly. "Ow! You're squeezing me too tight. What are you doin-"

One of his hands snake up to your chest and cup your breast. The motion freezes you in place.

"I'm better than your stupid boyfriend. He's so ungreatful. I bet you also miss getting fucked, don't you?" It was more of a statement rather than a question.I can make you feel good, better than he ever did. God, you're so hot. This guy is such a loser for passing you up. I'd never be like him. I've been wanting for this since I first saw you. I know you think I'm attractive too. I see the way you eye me"

The hand holding down your hip moves between your thighs to cup your clit. You heart sinks into your stomach as the weight of the situation falls upon you. You have never felt more stupid in your entire life. Just as you suck in a breath to scream, the hand on your breast shoots up to cover your mouth, muffling any sound. You try to slsp his hands off, but your arms are a little weaker than before. All you could do was patt his arms and wiggle around, which he completely ignores.

"Ah ah-be good. I couldn't stop thinking of you. I've only known you for a bit, but that's enough for me." He grinds his clothed cock against your ass and groans in pleasure.

After a few minutes, he stands up with you in his arms and walks with you to his bedroom. He tosses you on his bed and immediately gets on top, holding you down with his hips as he removs his shirt. He looks down at your horrified face and licks his lips. He wastes no time in literally ripping your shirt and bra off. You hear the tear as it leaves you. With one hand, he roughly palms your chest and tweaks a nipple. He unzips his dark purple pants with his other hand, his swollen cock practically flying out and slamming down above your belly button. You gasp at the sight of it, the weight alone is hefty. Much like his entire self, it's big and scary.

Your eyes fill with tears and you do the only think you could. Your body can't possibly struggle and even if you could, he could easily over power you. "Please-please don't hurt me. Please don't do this to me!" He looks at you with sympathy in his eyes. "Shh it's ok. I'd never hurt you. I'm not like your stupid boyfriend. I'm gonna make you feel good. Then you'll be mine..I see that drug I have you fully kicked in." You pail at his words. It's over. You're not getting out of this one. You're going to be raped by this psychopath. You think of your poor boyfriend. You wish he could burst through the door and save you. His name bubbles from your mouth pathetically.

"Speaking of him." Gojo slides your phone out of your pocket and clicks around. First, he disables your location, then he raises your phone and takes a photo of you. He quickly sends it to himself and your boyfriend.

You: We're having a good time. Bet you're jealous

A few minutes of groping later, your boyfriend responds.

❤️Geto❤️: Absolutely not. You're both disgusting. I fucking knew you were whoring yourself. You got a big head because you think you're pretty. I was wondering why you were trying to look nice recently.

❤️Geto❤️: You're like a bitch in heat. You're just an easy, worthless whore. Glad I didn't waste too much on you.

❤️Geto❤️: Go fuck yourself. Or better yet, have some guy do it for free. Get aids and die, bitch. You have a day to pick up all your shit before I toss it.

(You've been blocked by this number)

Gojo turns the screen towards you and your eyes tear up as you read the texts. You have no idea how your boyfriend could have possibly interpreted your situation as consentual. It could be that you're not tied up and gagged, nor unconscious. As he said, he expected this from you. Either way, he obviously doesn't love you anymore. Tears pour down your cheeks. How could he? After all this time? To do this to you. You'd never cheat! Your heart shatters in your chest, suddenly feeling hollow.

Gojo chuckles and sets the phone to the side. He wipes your tears away with his thumb. "See? What did I tell you? He was never the one for you. I'd never say that to you, sweety. I'd never treat you like that. I just exposed him for what he is; a scum bag." He tugs your pants down and off your legs with ease, despite your light kicking. A large grin on his face as he does so

"You ready?" He positions his cock at your dry entrance and laughs. "Because I am." He shoves himself in, but only makes it three inches in before he hits a barrier and you gasp in pain and start thrashing your body. "P-please take it out. It-it hurts!" He's genuinely shocked. "Y-you're a virgin? Didn't you say you have a boyfriend?"

You wiggle a bit, trying to elevate some pain yourself before answering him.

"We never...you..know.." Your face burns with shame. His cock only seems to swell with more blood at the news.

He bursts out laughing. "This makes so much sense now! No wonder why you looked elsewhere to fulfill your needs. He doesn't want to fuck. Is he gay?Does his dick even work? Maybe he's not cheating. He didn't even fuck you once. I could tell how bad you wanted it, but your limp dick boyfriend wouldn't give you any. I'm glad to be the one to have your first time."

Your bloodshot eyes drift to the side. You don't want to admit that he was right. Every time you would try to start something with your boyfriend, he'd push you away. Your boyfriend really didn't have much of a labido, but you didn't look for friends to have sex with other men.

"I know it hurts, but you can take it. It'll go away. Just hold still...or struggle. I like a challenge." His words are evil, but his smile is so charming. He's like the devil. He pulls his cock out and thrusts in again, deeper than before, breaking your hymen and forcing the air to leave your body. He then pulls out and slams into you again, bottoming out. His cock is so big, you swear you could feel it in your stomach. You look down, eyes blown wide as you see an imprint of his cock in your lower abdomen. He lets out a loud moan and throws his head back. "You're so fucking tight." You put your hands on his chest, hoping that would be enough to keep him still. Wishful thinking. He just takes your smaller wrists in his large hands and leans over you, lodging himself deeper than he was before, cock assaulting your cervix, making your body jolt. You accidentally let out a pained cry that could be mistaken as a moan.

Gojo smiles, perfect white teeth on display "Oh, you like that?" He slams into that spot again and again, making your eyes roll into the back of your head, and your tongue rolls out of your mouth. Lewd sounds spill from your mouth with the occasional "No." "Please." and "Stop." Your sobbing dies down, not having any more tears to cry. You feel a tightening in your lower belly and curl your toes. "Nng G-Gojo!"

"Fuck yeah, say my name!" He pounds into your poor pussy with astonishing speed and strength. "Say you'll be my girlfriend. I can take care of you, I can love you. You'll never feel alone again."

Your face flushes red at his words. Those words are all you need to tip over the edge. You aren't sure if he meant it or not, but just the thought of being so loved takes you to cloud nine. A warm feeling washes over you and you cry out in pleasure. You want what he promised more than anything in the world. With your last braincell, you weigh your options. Nobody loves you, you have nowhere to go, no one to turn to and Your boyfriend kicked you out. "I...I'll be with you." What choice did you have? Be homeless?

The bashful look you give him sends shivers down his spine. He leanes down and gives you a tender kiss on the lips which you very hesitantly return, much to his enjoyment. His hot breath tickles your face as his hips hammer into you, forcing cute music from your mouth for him. Your cunt tightening impossibly around his thick mass. His pace becoming sloppy and before you could ask him to pull out, he shoves himself deep within you one last time. With a lewd moan he fills your tummy up with his seed. Your eyes cross at the warm, pleasurable sensation. The feeling of being filled up like a puff pastry, his hot creamy cum temporarly stupifying you. Your tummy now bloated by the sheer volume. He takes another picture.

He wasn't looking for a girlfriend, but how could he possibly deny himself such a sweet little thing. A sweet, doting, cookie baking girlfriend as cute as you comes as often as a shooting star. You'd do anything for the man you loved. Too wifey to pass up. Finders keepers. He's going to make sure that no one ever does to you what he just did to you. You're his now.

He rolls the two of you so he's spooning your back, your ass pressed against him, his cock still firmy lodged into your weeping cunt. He pulls the blanket up and the two of you fall asleep together. You pretty much pass out from the exhaustion.

The next morning, he drives you to your now x boyfriends appartment to collect your things. You and Gojo take the elevator to the apartment. He stays out of sight, but stays where he can hear you. You knock on the door and your Geto opens up. The smell of alcohol hits you and you gag. "Well if it isn't the slut. Get your shit."

He turns his back and begins to walk away, but you grab his arm and gently tug him toward you. "Please listen to me...he raped me...I didn't want to.. do any-" You were cut off by him shoving you to the ground roughly, your head knocking against the wall on your way down. You grunt in pain. "Don't you use that shit on me!" He shouts.

Tears fill your eyes as you scramble to collect your things and run out. Gojo is at the front door now, having heard the commotion. He steps in the apartment and grabs your shoulders.

"What's wrong? Did he touch you?"

"...I..hit my head." Your tiny voice is unconvincing.

"Take your things to the car. I'm just gonna have a quick chat with him." He pays your butt and you walk off with your things. Geto has been watching the interaction with clenched fists.

"You're the fuck that stole my girl. You can fucking have her and pass her around to whoever the fuck you want. For your information, that cunt tried to tell me you raped her, using you as her scape goat." Gojo can just barley understand the drunken shouting of your x boyfriend. Gojo smiles, the smugest of grins crossing his face.

"...That's because I did"

Geto froze in place, not believing his ears. His girlfriend..was actually just raped? And not only did he do absolutely nothing, but he kicked her out and hurt her?

"...What?" It wasn't really a question.

"Finders keepers. I have no clue why you're so upset. You didn't love her. She was so lonely when I found her. I wanted her so I took her. Make no mistake, she said no. Cried for you. You should feel like shit. Not believing your own sweet little girlfriend and then laying your hand on her in her time of need. I'm not even going to beat you for that, you'd treat yourself like a victim. Better luck next time though. Try satisfying your bitch before they're stolen. Thanks for the girlfriend." Gojo says, walking back to the car, Geto still too frozen in shock to react. He falls to his knees, clinching his head. Gojo meets you in the car, your things already in the back. He leans over to your side and gives you a passionate kiss on the lips, tongue diving into your mouth. Your face burns brightly and you cant help but kiss him back. You disconnect, a string of saliva connecting you to him. "So what do you want to eat, baby?"

The car drives off and you don't feel so bad about the situation anymore.

Fun fact: I got the idea to make this when I was lonely and my boyfriend (now x) wasn't paying attention to me so I downloaded an app to make friends and a guy I thought was my friend started being really pushy and I found out men are stupid dogs.

[blitzwhore]

I just saw Blitzø get called Stolas stockholm victim I can't with this fandom anymore😭

😂 As outrageously incorrect and stupid as that take is, I'm going to go on a tangent here. I hope you don't mind.

I think every fandom has annoying people with awfully terrible takes in it. People with zero media literacy. People who hatewatch. People who think they're entitled to the exact show they would've wanted, which has nothing to do with the actual, existing show.

This is especially true for queer media, and especially true for queer cartoons. (Hi, yes. I was active in the Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Voltron, and She-Ra fandoms when those shows were airing, respectively. I've seen some stuff). Some people just can't handle queer cartoons, period. If the queer characters/ships are soft and wholesome, they're infantilising and boring, and if they're complex and nuanced and actually have conflict, they're abusive and problematic. You'll hear the same recycled arguments over and over again. Like, the shit some people are saying about Blitz and Stolas after The Full Moon? Is literally almost word-for-word what they said about Catra and Adora post-season 3 of She-Ra (and even at the end of the show).

Here's the thing, though! Those people and their bad takes are not what I want to think about what I think about a fandom. Those aren't the people I want to call the fans. They don't deserve that title. Not when so many other people are out there dedicating their time to making gifs and art and meta posts, and writing fic, and commenting/reblogging to show support, and sliding into people's DMs to scream and squee together about a thing they love.

At the end of the day, "fandom" is just a lot of people each doing their own thing. Which people you engage with and allow to stay within your line of sight will determine your fandom experience. Fandom can be a huge, convoluted, online space full of people who are constantly arguing with one another and whose takes make you unfathomably angry... Or it can be you and your 5 friends and mutuals who scream gleefully at one another in 2-note posts. You can't control what others post online, but you can control your engagement with it.

How? Well, here's what I personally do to avoid getting upset by people's stupid opinions online:

Filter 'critical' and 'anti' tags (eg. #anti stolitz #anti vivziepop #Helluva Boss critical #HB critical #vivziepop critical). Many people actually do tag their critical posts because they know it's the respectful thing to do!

If I come across a post that has one or more of those tags, obviously, I don't click through to see it under any circumstances.

If I stumble across a stranger's untagged post with hate/criticism that upsets me: I stop reading and BLOCK. Immediately. I don't look back. I don't finish reading. I don't engage. I just block block block. I <3 the block button, seriously.

If I feel my mind reeling from a bad take I just came across: I take a step back, close my phone, breathe, remember life is beautiful sometimes. Go back and watch an episode I really like. Clean my living space a little. Vent about it to a friend (but only if I really need to, because if not, I'd rather not dwell on it).

If I'm starting to feel the need to reply to someone's bad take (directly or via my own post), I instead make the decision to channel that energy into making fandom posts out of love. (I don't do this just with fandom. If I see something transphobic online, I usually react by reblogging a bunch of trans art or trans positivity posts on my main, for example). I like to think of it as putting some positivity out into the world to compensate for the negativity I just saw. So, for example, if I see someone shitting on my blorbo, I may make a silly post just saying how much I love blorbo. Or I'll make (or draft) a post about how interesting I find some of blorbo's actions. Or reblog another person's positive/interesting post about blorbo.

And finally, I stay the hell away from Twitter. Or at least, if I go on Twitter, I try my best to avoid any tweet that has text in it instead of just art. Even the people who have good opinions spend too much time arguing with the people who have bad opinions on there. I don't want to see people's bad takes! No, not even while reading founded and perfectly articulated criticism of those bad takes! So I just limit my time on Twitter. And again, if someone is putting bad takes on my TL (even if it is to counter them), I unfollow and block as needed.

All this to say, yes, it really fucking sucks to read the opinions of people who don't understand and who hate the characters and ships and worlds you love. Gosh it's the worst. But you can curate your fandom experience. You can focus on the things you can control. You have the power to decide if your fandom experience is draining or fun!

And because I don't know how to finish this, here, have a Stolitz kiss to heal you:

We will keep winning and there's nothing the haters can do about it. 😌

[notbecauseofvictories]

Longtime follower and I love seeing your insights, so wondered if you had thoughts or advice on this:

I live alone and I'm not in a relationship, though I do date. I'd say ninety percent of the time I really enjoy my life, seven percent I'm a bit sad or annoyed about not having a partner yet, and three percent I get tossed into the Pit of Despair. That three percent can be tied into hormonal cycles, bad timing, etc - even when I know the cause, it still needs to be lived through. Has that happened with you? If so, how do you manage it? I do okay, but it feels like I could do better.

Ah, but the Pit of Despair and I are best friends now. I've sent pictures from the Pit, all featuring me with an absolutely humorless, rictus grin, which does make me wonder why no one else has noticed yet. I have a timeshare in the Pit of Despair. I spend some time there every six months or so, standing in the middle of my impossibly overgrown, dingy garden, and thinking to myself, how did I get here? how do I get out?

And then, as though endurance isn't enough...then your timeshare in the Pit ends. You emerge in the daylight and immediately forget how grey and hopeless that garden was, the weirdly stained, collapsing furniture in the corner and the crooked yellowing plants and that mean laughter you could sometimes hear over the sounds of waving grass. You think to yourself: that will never happen again! I am free! I am cured!

(This will feel so much worse, the next time you're shoved back into the stupid garden.)

That said, I don't think you're going to like my answer to your next question. This is because I don't like my answer; unfortunately, it remains the only answer I have to this question.

I think having some unsettled sorrow, just a touch of existential despair, is the best we can hope to do in this life.

I think that with both rueful humor and deep, deep disgust, which is typically the combo I bring to musings about being a person. Of course it's a little funny---look at the monkey, it's got anxiety!---and of course it's also frustrating, unspeakable outside of bitter cursing, a problem that will not be fixed because quite frankly it's built too deeply into us to be cut out cleanly and thrown away.

(Look at the fucking monkey, you can tell yourself through gritted teeth, standing in that horrible garden with weeks of dirty dishes in the sink and an inbox of emails and friends blowing up your phone with plans you hate to even think about. It's got anxiety.)

I do not have a cure for this. I manage it with the same sort of humor and ruefulness and bitterness that I mentioned above---I don't beat myself up anymore, when I realize I'm standing in the horrible garden again. I know it too well. Sometimes it has an okay wifi connection? I watch some movies. I get done what I can, and forgive myself the rest. I have been here before; I will get out again. I just need to be patient.

Once I'm out, there will be a whole world, I know there will---full of music I haven't heard before and stories that won't make me cringe and emails I will respond to with ease and conversations where I can be light, amusing even. There is a world beyond the Pit. There is always a world beyond the Pit, I just can't find my way back sometimes.

In the meantime, I take another terrible picture in front of the stained furniture, and caption it "Hello from the Pit!!!" with a bunch of exclamation points to indicate that it's a joke, even though it isn't.

I wait.

[judeyswife]

not what i’m looking for. — jude bellingham x reader. II

genre : angst

word count : 928

note : hii lovies, this is official part two of the series not what im looking for !!! (part one) please let me know of what yall think in the comments! there will be a part 3 guys so don't worry, but it'll probs be a wrap up for this mini series since i want to get started on some other fics too + made a few format changes and writing from author's pov this time -- but thats it! enjoyyy! requests box always open !!

‏‏‎ ‎ ———————————————————-‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎

"i'm sorry"

it's horrendous how fast people switch up. or i'd say men, in this case. it's been roughly about six months since that conversation had happened. it was honestly one of the worst days in your whole life. i mean, yeah you'll get through it. but why? every once in a while you think about what did she have that you didn't.

but this is a topic that hasn't been brought up in about a month. and a certain individual isn't mentioned anymore in your life thank the lord.

you have gone to a beach house near where you live with a few of your best friends, layla, jess, and liv. yall needed this vacation after months of torture. or studying.

they've been with you since day one. truthfully you'd say who needs a relationship when you have your homegirls?

"Y/N, come here right fucking now." -- layla screamed from our room in the house.

you could literally think she had been getting murdered with the way she was screaming honestly.

"oh my god what!"

"whats his name posted a fucking video of missing someone LOOK."

who? jude.

you sit next to her curiously taking her phone from her hands in order for you to take a look at the tiktok she was trying to show you.

( for the sake of the story, jude has tiktok xoxo )

you were shocked. who genuinely who would've though that he'd actually miss us? it didn't even sound right thinking about it.

"maybe it's about her layla" you shrugged getting up to grab your water bottle from her desk.

"are you stupid girl, he's obviously thinking about you, i mean look at his caption." - 'didn't think a situationship could hurt more than an actual relationship' don't be a fool y/n"

liv and jess had entered the room a few minutes ago listening to the conversation making liv enter the conversation.

"ain't no way he has the nerve to do that bullshit on social media"

you stood there listening to them diss jude for about 5 minutes straight. but your lost in your thoughts. i mean, why would he ever miss something he supposedly never had? it's genuinely so draining and confusing.

"guys just drop it, its whatever. lets just go hang out at the hot tub, i really fucking need it"

your friends just looked at one another not saying a single word. they knew better. not to make you sound like a maniac or anything, but they knew how you were with bottling up your feelings. jude was a sensitive topic for you. they didn't want to be the cause of ruining your vacation over some dumb tiktok captions. they simply agreed with you and started getting changed to go out the the hot tub.

•

it had been a few hours since you last seen your phone and you're now inside getting ready to have dinner with the girls and settling down. so you took these few moments, unlocked your phone and checked out what you had missed.

you furrowed your eyebrows trying to figure out who this number could possibly belong to. since you and layla are sharing a room for the trip, she was getting ready at her vanity and noticed your confused expression.

"y/n what's up?" -- asking you meanwhile putting a face mask on.

"i don't know, this random number just texted me with my name i'm just hella confused"

"that's weird. ask who it is obviously"

you nodded listening to what she had advised you to do.

you had this conversation silently without saying a word to layla about who this "mystery person" was. mainly because you wanted to fight your own battles. i mean you basically already had jess and liv involved. not that your mad at them or anything, you know they want what's best for you. clearly they're on team jude. those girls.

"who was it?" layla said getting up from her chair to grab her phone from the charger near her bed. "no one important, they got the wrong number and person" you honestly don't know how she believed you. you hate to admit but you were feeling jittery after having that conversation with jude after so long. even if it was barely a conversation.

you hated that you needed to lie to layla, but you truly believed it was honestly for the best. when you and jude were talking, they knew every single detail about the relationship you had with jude. and by they i mean your friends and his friends. always involved. one of the main issues why miscommunication was lacking horribly in your relationship. so that's why you want a new beginning. not just to "lie" to your friends but to feel the sense of control in your life. even if tomorrow was the last conversation you had with jude, you wanted to keep the moment to yourself.

•

without saying a word to anyone, you and jude had been chatting it up all night. just a catch up with each other. you guys went from telling every detail of your day to each other, to not saying a single word for months to each other. it felt nice being able to slowly regain that comfort you once had when you guys would text or facetime all night long.

you were honestly praying for the best in tomorrow's conversation, you had no idea what it could lead up to.

but the overthinking was done on your pillow all night long, plus his texts of course.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA

Would I be the asshole if I pull out of being a bridesmaid for my 'best friend'?

Background: E and I became best friends at 13 and we are both about to turn 43. we've been through a million ups and downs together. She has a crappy family and I became friend, sister, mother, support. In the last 15 years or so she has become a functional alcoholic and I have found it harder and harder to deal with her. I've bailed her out so many times. I've 'loaned' her thousands of dollars that I have no expectation of ever seeing again. I've tried to support her and given her advice when she asked for it (even though I knew she would ignore it) and listened to her problems (for hours and hours as she sucked down wine and got drunker and drunker). When she's not a drunken mess she's an awesome person, kind, funny, caring, generous and soberE was usually worth having to put up with dunkE.

Twice in our friendship we've had fights where it's taken us a long time to get back to speaking terms but there would be a text here and a phone call there, then we'd be back to talking for hours every other day. A year ago we had a huge fight and I decided I just needed to not talk to her for a while. I didn't even feel bad about not talking to her, it was almost a luxury to not sit on the phone and listen to her get progressively drunker as she slurped red wine. I did try the old tested route back to close friendship earlier this year. I would send her some texts when something big was happening or when I came across something I knew she'd like. But I would only get 1 or 2 word texts back. In February there was a major flood in our home town and I was freaking out about my family that still lived there - she was not, I felt like I was more worried about her mother than she was, I know they've got a bad relationship but we're talking a bodies floating around kind of situation. I was making multiple 5 hour mercy dashes with car loads of aid supplies and freaking out seeing these places we spent our childhood just destroyed and texting her about it and getting nothing back. I made a couple more efforts to contact her over the next couple of months but still nothing much back. Around May-June I decided I wasn't going to bother contacting her, I'd talk if she contacted me but I wasn't putting in effort anymore.

In September she sent me a text saying she was getting married in Jan 2025 and would I be one of her bridesmaids. I really didn't want to say yes. But almost 30 years of friendship, I felt guilty turning her down. And it felt like an overture on her part, like she was ready to make an effort. So I said yes and have been regretting it since. We are still not really speaking. We'll like each other's FB posts and that's about it. I mean there's still plenty of time for us to become friends again but I'm pretty much decided that if our relationship hasn't improved by the middle of 2024 I'm going to politely back out. It's going to be a backyard DIY wedding, she won't expect me to be heavily involved in the planning because she lives so far away that I couldn't do much more than turn up for the day and stand up with her. Me pulling out won't leave a hole in the planning so I know I wouldn't be an asshole for that. Where I might be an asshole is I think she would be really sad if I'm not there because I am the closest thing she's got to family, I know her mother and step-father won't be there and it's unlikely her brother will be. But I also kinda don't care because I'm sick of making the effort to be there for her when she's not making any effort for me.

So would I be the asshole if I pulled out of the wedding of my friend of 30 years?

What are these acronyms?

[torusmistress]

co-parent bakugou .2

katsuki bakugou x nb reader (previous part)

(cw: smut, angst, kids, arguing, verbal abuse)

when bakugou comes back from his morning walk he goes into the kitchen to see raya over the stove cooking breakfast. “hey babe, goodmorning,” she turned to face him, “i'm sorry about last night; i was just upset.”

he nods and goes to their bedroom and gets undressed. raya, not being satisfied with his reaction, pauses breakfast and follows him up. she sneaks up behind him and runs her hand down his bare back. “i said i was sorry babe, you have to forgive me.” he turns around to face her.

“you know my dad doesn't like it when we argue.” he hated that. he hated it when she used her dads position as leverage. with rayas’ dad being the mayor and all; she’d grown to be a spoiled brat. sure he had the skill to be a pro-hero but maybe not the funds. his parents weren't exactly the richest in the world. so of course his wife offered to let her dad take care of it. just like that- pro-hero dynamite had his own agency.

he swallowed hard, some spit along with his pride and sighed, “yea, ‘m sorry bout last night. i wasn't in the best head space." raya smiled, and played with the waistband of his boxers. “it's okay lovebug, now just lay back and let me take care of you.” he stood there quietly and watched her. watching as she knelt down, pulling down his boxers as she did. taking his semi-hard dick into her hands then licking the tip while working her hand up and down his full length. she kind of falters at noticing he isn't getting hard as quickly as he usually does. “did you jerk off already today or something?” he lies and shakes his head yes as she stands up. “or maybe you just can't get hard for me anymore.” she says jokingly, and katsuki forces a laugh. unsure of what was causing the problem.

__

by the time you get up it's nearly 1pm, woken up by your antsy little toddler who you let sleep in your room for night. you get up then go do your morning routine. (accompanied by your curious toddler of course) when you finish both of your morning routines you go towards the kitchen to make your cereals of choice. you go up to your room to grab your phone and see a text from bakugou. “When can i see my kid again” you sigh and reply telling him he can come over today. he likes the message and lets you know that his wife will be tagging along as well. great.

they get to your house around 3pm. you welcome them in and take them to the living area. bakugou mentions he brought something over for hana and went back to the car. leaving you and raya alone. you sit there kind of quietly while hana is wearing headphones watching her tablet. raya observes the girl, “hm.. are you even sure its his? she looks a little.. slow,” she says nonchalantly. you stare in disbelief at her, shocked she’d even say that straight to your face. “excuse me?”

“its a cute baby of course, kats’ genes really tried their best but..” she pauses “i can just imagine how pretty our baby girl is gonna be- you know with that being said, i'd really appreciate it if you kind of backed off. he needs to be an attentive father to our baby, not yours. i don't need to be worried about some desperate baby momma.’’ you scoff, you had enough of this wench disrespecting you and your child in your own home. without thinking you end up over your coffee table landing a smack across her face. she yelps in pain and hold her face like it was the most precious thing ever. “what you are not about to do is come up in my house and disrespect me and my daughter. you can get the fuck out.”

she immediately ran outside to katsuki, leaving you alone with a dumbstruck hana. you ignored the little girl's curious expression and just simply ran your hands through your hair. it wasn't too long after before you heard daunting footsteps headed your way. “what the fuck did you do? yer gonna let me bring my wife up in here just to disrespect ‘er? why the fuck of all people are you calling her a tramp ‘nd sayin she got sloppy seconds? of all people. i'm trying real hard to be in my daughter's life but yer being a real bitch about it.” without letting you say anything he drops a gift bag and leaves. leaving you once again, and leaving you speechless.

__

later that night you drop your daughter off with her grandparents and go see your old friend, eijirou kirishima. you two usually caught up at least once a month. drink a little, laugh a little, indulge a little. he's been such a great friend, so supporting and always there for you. even occasionally watching hana for you. but today you two are all alone, and both a little too drunk for either of your liking. it starts off with friendly peckish little neck kisses, short playful pecks on the lips. nothing you two haven't explored before.

but tonight something was different. you expressed to him how stressful things were today with what happened with katsukis wife. he told you he’d make you feel better and you just kind of brushed it off. but now it's hard to brush it off when he's knuckles deep inside of you, working his fingers deeper and deeper inside. you just throw your head back against his plush couch letting the pleasure take you away. “eijirou.. please,” you whine. he shoots you a toothy grin with half hooded eyes. “please what? you can use your words, i know you can.” you whine more while he works his fingers into your special spot. once you finish he pulls out grinning; leaving you blissed out with arousal apparent by his print visible.

he gets you a ride home, both too intoxicated to drive anywhere. he opens the door for you then hugs and kisses you goodnight. you get home and go to sleep.

when you wake up the next morning your head is pounding and your phone is blowing up. the most alarming test came from your mother

: “How could you be so stupid?”

: “Letting the press see you getting so personal with someone”

: “Theres photos of you and that Kirishima boy going around of you kissing”

you dont get why it was such a big deal. you didn't even care, with your parents being famous pro-heroes everything you've done since birth has been documented. it's tiring and after your daughter's birth you stopped caring. Doing whatever you wanted regardless of the paparazzi, but them following you over to kirishima's house was ridiculous. The second text you read was from bakugou;

: “Out of all of my friends you go for him?”

: “You didnt feel the need to tell me about this?”

: “Really ??? Eijirou? Has he been around Hana?”

you got kind of upset at his messages more than you did your mom. what did it matter to him, he doesnt get to control who you talked to. he’s not your boyfriend nor your dad. you leave him on read and you scroll through your twitter feed. filled with photos of you and kirishima kissing. “PRO-HERO MIYU and YUIKA SUZUKI CHILD CAUGHT MAKING OUT WITH PRO-HERO RED RIOT” you sigh and almost turn your phone off but see another set of messages from bakugou, was he jealous?

[msallurea]

It's Okay to Feel Okay

Ok so recently, specifically a few days ago I had deleted tumblr for a bit to get my mind together. I had wanted to manifest my dream life because I'll be taking senior pics on the 31st and honestly I was fed up with myself with not genuinely applying knowing that I wanted to live a certain way. There was a post that I had seen I can't remember the name right now but I did reblog it, it was "how to make everything sugar spice and everything nice" or something like that. One particular post caught my attention and it the "what if I don't persist" post and it DEFINITELY gave me a reality check, I feel like those who know pretty much everything there is to know about manifestation but aren't genuinely applying it should for sure read that because it definitely knocked sense into me. I had also been reading a lot of posts from @etherealkissed88 also i highly recommended reading her stuff if you ever want a rundown of the law that's quick and straight to the point. Something I noticed I continuously did which is what caused me to always have anxiety when manifesting was focusing on the 3d/my desire being in the 3d on time. So I decided to actually change my perspective and just tell myself since it's done in the 4d I don't have to worry about it not being in the 3d because itll reflect anyway..I've also been adopting the mindset of simply knowing it's finished IN IMAGINATION ONLY!! ...Now, since doing this, for maybe the past few days I haven't felt the need to affirm or visualize or anything, I mean I'd daydream here and there but it's kinda just like "eh I have it anyway so whatever" and let me tell you..as someone who constantly stressed on whether or not I was doing something right and worrying about when it will come and everything else this is the CALMEST and most NONCHALANT I've ever been about manifestation before. Like even now, when I would've tried sabatoging myself saying I HAVE to affirm especially because I do know I am a bit anxious about manifesting my dream life because I definitely want it before my big day which btw I feel like is perfectly fine to acknowledge. But honestly I just don't want to. I don't want to affirm. I don't want to visualize constantly. Because the entire point is that if I say it's already done in imagination and I see that I'm living my dream life in imagination truly there's nothing else for me to do but continuously choose that I'm living my dream life already. Something else that's had me feeling this way is when @etherealkissed88 mentioned that we aren't trying to convince ourselves we have it in the 3d..to be that way is being delusional, we're only accepting that it's already done in IMAGINATION aka the 4d. Since taking this into consideration I've been scarily calm,normally I would've been stressed and spiraling and even now when I "waver" when I see myself in the mirror it's just like a "eh whatever..nothing I do in the 3d affects my manifestation anyway so it doesn't matter" kind of feeling. And I just want anyone who is also experiencing this feeling where you feel as though you just don't want to do anything for your desire and it's just like a "eh whatever I have it in imagination anyway" kind of feeling IT. IS. OK and you are doing just fine. The whole point is the first place is making your desire feel NATURAL to you and if you feeling natural is you not really feeling anything and it's just a "oh it's done" then you are doing just fine if you have the feeling as if you "don't want your desire anymore" that's also fine, I can guarantee if your desire was fulfilled would you still feel like you wanted it or be stressed? I doubt it..just as the example is, I have a phone, I know I have a phone. Even if my phone wasn't in my hand right now I still know I have a phone. That is the feeling, that is the acceptance. Even if it isn't right there in front of you, you already have it because you accepted that you do.

[thatssonanii]

Chapter Thirteen

A/N: The highly requested and anticipated chapter! Yall I been working on this chapter for soooooo long, I just couldn't get it to flow but I finally got it! Pay attention when you're reading😌 ⭐LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG & SHARE⭐ Enjoy!

Warnings: Cussing, light smut, 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

DO NOT REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN!

Masterlist

Chapter Twelve

Flashback #2

Dating again was something Hassan never thought he'd do but now that he was, he realized he was lying to himself when he would say that he was okay without it. Deep down he was a romantic, a lover and needed to give that to someone special. The deterioration of his marriage hurt more than he'd vocalized, living on the other side of the country away from his daughter hurt even more but he knew when the end came there was no comma. Nadine once the apple of his eye was now rotten but he would always love her for giving him his babygirl. His babygirl being the reason for everything he did since her birth which funnily included dating again. He wanted to show her that moving on and away from the things Nadine had done was possible. Healing is what he chose for him and his daughter which is why he was preparing himself for another date with Tamara. 

They, mostly him, had been dancing around what they obviously were but he planned to change that. Having spent most of the day getting a few gifts, her favorite flowers and making sure his house was up to par, Hassan was going to lock them down. 

Standing in his kitchen, he cut zucchini to roast when his phone rang interrupting him and his music. He glanced over to see it was Nadine facetiming him. After not hearing from her for a couple of weeks, he wasn't exactly excited to hear from her but answered it nonetheless. 

Being met with silence made him roll his eyes knowing what she wanted. “I'm cooking, Nadine. I can't look at the phone.”

“Mmm okay,” she conceded. “What are you cooking?”

“Lamb shoulder, mashed potatoes and zucchini.”

She hummed in surprise. “Oooh, I should've flown in just for dinner. Your parents coming over or your sister and her husband?”

He glanced at the phone, seeing her expectant face. “What's up, Nadine? You wanted something, I can tell.”

“You know me so well after all this time,” she laughed softly. 

“That's what happens when you're with someone for 20 years, married for 14. I'm listening, I don't have a lot of time.”

There was a brief pause on her end which he allowed. A sigh escaped her before she spoke. 

“Gabi came here not too long ago, unannounced, and she said something to me that I wanted to check with you about.”

“Don't say unannounced like that's not still my house and like you don't and haven't done your share of pop ups at her house.” He continued cutting. “What did you wanna check with me about?”

“She said that you're seeing someone and it's … it's serious. But I know you would've told me if you were.”

Stopping what he was doing, Hassan went to stand in front of his phone that sat propped up on the counter. He folded his arms across his chest, staring at her. 

“We're not married anymore and we're not friends so I'm not sure why you would think that I would tell you what I'm doing.”

He could tell that she was taken aback by his words but he had to let it be known. 

“Yes, we're not married but I'd like to think that we were friends, San.” She explained softly. “So you are seeing someone seriously then?”

“I am.” He answered. His voice was as cool and calm as always. 

The panic in her eyes almost made him feel bad but that went away quickly. He watched her get up from her seat and pace for a moment before coming to stand in frame with her hands on her hips. 

“I can't believe you would do this, Hassan.”

“Do what? Move on with my life?” He asked, stroking his beard. “We've been divorced for over ten years now, Nadine. I honestly should've done it sooner.”

Even though she wasn't as close to the phone, he could still see the tears that fell from her eyes. They were real and he knew it but he couldn't bring himself to care. 

“Why? I thought,” she mumbled in distress.

“You thought what?”

“I thought … we were still in this. Do you not love me, Hassan? I was your wife.” She cried. 

He stared at her with a brow raised. “Is that really what you thought? Nadine, I will always love you for giving me Moriah but I don't love you in that way that you want me to anymore. And I haven't for a long time.”

“What? How can you say that after everything?” She asked in a whisper. 

“After everything how can you think that I would wanna be with you again? Disregard what you did to me,” he responded. “Think about the way you’ve tortured our daughter all these years. I could never love someone that's done the things you've done to someone that came from you, Nadine.”

Her tears at this point were streaming down her face, she didn't bother to wipe them. Her heart was breaking, crumbling piece by piece. 

“I did what I needed to protect Moriah. I was helping her and you hate me for it. What was I supposed to do?”

“You weren't protecting or helping her, Nadine. You were torturing her because you were mad at me.” He retorted, ignoring her tears. “Even though it's damning, let's sit aside the abortion, let's sit aside you making her babysit and working in that daycare and the other things. The camp you sent her to, let's talk about that.”

Nadine stopped her loud sobbing and brought her hands down from her face to stare at him. Shock was displayed all over her making Hassan chuckle. 

“How did you know? Who told you?”

“Well let's see,” he paused, “Before Rye told me, your mother called me when she was on the way to pick Rye up after Kami told her. I've known for years, Nadine. Do you know what they did to her there? Of course you do, that's why you sent her there.”

She shook her head repeatedly. “Moriah needed help! She was going to be another statistic, San! The sneaking out, having sex with whoever, that baby … she was out of control!”

“Don't bring up my grandchild. She was not out of control and you know it,” he spat. “She snuck out with Zilla a few times, she had sex with only Zilla. You're trying to spin it into something it wasn’t. Her grades were good, she was still in her activities and never got in trouble.”

“You weren't there! You don't know!”

“I know everything about my daughter, Nadine. It's your fault that I wasn't there no matter how much you try to make me the bad guy.”

“You picked that job over me and our daughter. That's why you weren't there.”

“That's why? It wasn't because I was taking a pay cut for the first two years? It wasn't because you didn't want us to bring Moriah with us to Georgia, that you wanted to leave her with your parents because she was too much of a hassle? It wasn't because you didn't wanna leave the man you were fucking? You sure it wasn’t any of those reasons, Nadine?”

“Hassan, those first few things may be true but I never cheated on you! Never!”

He gave her a relaxed smile. “You sure? I've known for years. You think I don't know the real reason you all of a sudden didn't like Zilla and his family?”

“I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't like them because they were steering you and Moriah wrong.”

“That's not it, sweetheart,” he said calmly. “You didn't like them, Eddie specifically, once you found out the man you were fucking was his cousin and you knew he would tell me so you wanted to get us away from them. That's why. Isn't that right?”

“I'm not doing this with you. He lied to you. I can't believe you believed him over me.”

He shrugged. “You should just be lucky I was nice enough to keep that secret among all the others.”

Done with their conversation, Hassan ended the call and took a deep breath. The secrets he held onto for the sake of her and to some extent Moriah were feeling heavier than usual. It felt good to get two off his mind. He hadn't breathed a word of her infidelity since Eddie had told him and he met the man. Initially, the revelation damn near broke him down but now he felt relieved. He took a moment to get himself together then went back to cooking. Although his conversation with Nadine was unexpected and deeper than he anticipated, he was glad it happened because it solidified his feelings of wanting to make his and Tamara's relationship solid and defined. 

“It's been far too long since I've seen this lovely face.” Trenice exclaimed seeing Leata. She abandoned her shopping cart to go hug the other woman in the middle of the aisle. “How are you, sweetie?”

“I'm … I'm doing okay. How are you, Mrs. Parker?”

Trenice hit her arm playfully, “Girl, I'm good but we are family. Trenice will always do. And who is this little beauty?”

Leata smiled down at Sienna briefly. “My grandbaby Sienna. This is Auntie Rye's Umi, SiSi. Tell her hi.”

Sienna waved excitedly. “Hey, Auntie Rye's Umi!”

The older women laughed at her greeting. Trenice leaned towards the shopping cart to hug the little girl, placing a kiss on top of her head. 

“You can call me Umi, too, sweetie.” Trenice winked at her before turning back to Leata. “Back to you, I heard that hesitation. Since I'm sure everything is okay with my two grandbabies, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's my oldest daughter. Am I right?”

She was hesitant to confirm. They always had a good relationship but Nadine was still her daughter at the end of the day. 

“It's okay, you can tell me. You've known me long enough to know it won't offend me.” Trenice assured noticing her hesitant pause. 

“It's her. I love Moriah like she's my own flesh and blood and I don't understand. The things she's done are just horrible. The more I find out, the more disgusted I get.”

Trenice moved to rub her back, noticing the tears pooling in her eyes. “Trust me, I understand. Nadine is my flesh and blood but very often I wonder where she gets this from. She wasn't always like that and I know you know that.”

“She was one of my best friends and I just don't know who she is now and haven't for awhile.” She paused to dab at her eyes. “And then I feel awful because I was around Rye and couldn't tell that something more than I already knew was going on.”

“Listen to me,” Trenice demanded softly, still rubbing her back, “I knew almost everything and there still wasn't much I could do so I understand your feelings. Nadine knew there wasn't much we could do especially since Moriah rarely reached out.”

“Which pisses me off even more because despite what Nadine did to her, Moriah still protected her.”

Sienna watched them noticing the body language change. “Nana, you sad? What's wrong?”

Leata quickly shook her head, “I'm not sad, baby. I'm happy cause I haven't seen you and Auntie's Umi in a while.”

“Oooh okay, Nana. But still don't cry. Kay?” 

“We should talk more about this in private. I'll be in town for the next two weeks helping Kami house hunt. Call me and we'll set something up.”

“Yes ma'am,” Leata answered, leaning to hug her. 

“I mean it. If you don't call me, I'm gonna call you.” She smiled then kissed Sienna's head. “I'll see you later, sweetie.”

With the thought weighing heavily on him, Bronco went looking for Gia. The way she was shamelessly throwing herself at his friend wasn't sitting right with him and he knew it made not only Moriah uncomfortable but Zilla as well. He searched backstage until he found her. 

“Of course she watching his match,” he mumbled, going to stand beside her as the monitors. He glanced briefly at her, noticing the small smile on her face. “What's up, Gia?”

“Oh hey, Bronco. Nothing, just watching Zilla. He looks good out there.” She answered not taking her eyes off of the match. “Wrestling wise I mean.”

‘Uhuh. We gotta talk.”

“About?” 

The two of them spoke without moving their attention from the monitors. Gia because she didn't want to take her eyes off of Zilla. Bronco because truth be told, he couldn't stand to look at her too long. 

“Whatever you tryna do with Zilla. He's been more than clear that he's not interested but you keep trying him.”

She smiled. “What are you talking about, Bronco? Him and I are just friends.”

“Barely,” he slid in quickly. “Whatever you're tryna do, just chill.”

“This match really should've been the main event. Don't you think so, Bronco?” She asked, turning to look at him. 

He turned to look back. “Did you hear me?”

“Did you hear me?”

“This not the time for games. Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you but it sounds like to me one of two things or both are happening.”

He sucked his teeth, snarling at her. “What?”

“Either lil miss Moriah is worried that I can take her spot or you know Zilla wants me and you're trying to play mediator. Hmm so either way whatever you think I'm doing is working.”

“Girl, what the hell? Are you delusional? None of that is true.”

She shrugged, turning back to the match in time to see Zilla get illegally rolled up. “It's okay. I know you liked them together but it's bigger than you. You can't keep them together. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get ready for my segment.”

Bronco stood dumbfounded as she walked away from him. He thought she would resist a little but accept what he said. Her reaction was puzzling to him but he realized Zilla was in way more trouble than he initially thought. 

“Oh my gosh, San. I am stuffed.” Tamara laughed softly rubbing her full belly. “You been hiding your cooking skills from me.”

Hassan smiled bashfully. “I wouldn't say hiding them, you just always volunteer to cook. Who am I to shut down your wants?”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah well next time we stay in, you're cooking. And if you keep cooking like this, I won't ever leave.”

“Speaking of never leaving,” he paused to sip his wine, “I want this thing we're doing to be permanent. I don't want anybody else.”

Tamara raised a brow leaving onto the table, laughing softly. “This thing? You mean dating?”

“Yes that. What would you say to us making things official?”

No matter how she tried to fight it, a smile spread across her face and warmth spread through her body from the rush of happiness she felt. 

“I would say what took you so long.” She laughed at his playful frown. “But I would like that a lot actually. I know why you were hesitant, I get it but I am not her and you are not the person you were when you were with her.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I got you.”

“And as much as I know you’re going to hate this, I wanna meet Nadine.” 

He stared at Tamara for a moment wrestling with the thought in his mind. The women he’d dated previously had no desire to meet her after hearing about her from him and Moriah and after hearing conversations between the divorced couple. And even if they did have any desire to meet her, Hassan would not have it. Too much of a hassle.

Reaching across the table, Hassan took her hands into his, rubbing them lovingly with his thumbs. The action brought a smile to her face, she also knew there was some form of rejection to follow the gesture. 

“I really don’t see the need for that, T. Moriah isn’t a kid anymore, that would have been the only reason I would put you in that situation.” He explained softly.

“San … I know that you think that you’re protecting me by not allowing me to meet her and I appreciate that,” she squeezed his hands gently, “But you don’t need to do that. She needs to know that this is serious and I’m not going anywhere so she can let up on those unrealistic expectations she has. Give the final nail to the coffin that was your marriage.”

To say he was speechless would be an understatement. The calmness in her voice almost put him at ease, the fire in her eyes though, that told him she meant what she said and she was serious.

“I don’t think that it’s a good idea to put you in the direct line of unnecessary stress,” he chuckled hearing her huff, “Wait there’s a but. But this sounds very important to you and you do make a very good point so I will make it happen.”

Her smile has returned and grown even wider. “Great. When?”

“Soon, beautiful.”

“Aht,” she sassed, pulling her hands from his. “I’ve heard you use that ‘beautiful’ card with Moriah enough to know you’re placating me. Nope. I want an actual date and time.”

He laughed heartily, going to take a sip of his wine. “Alright, alright. How about next weekend?”

“Book the flight now.” She pressed.

“In the middle of dinner?” He asked slyly. Looking at both of their near empty plates, Tamara gives him a pointed look that makes him laugh and pull out his phone. “Alright, alright, Ms. Lady. Doing it now. You prefer early or late flights?”

“Early. Thank you.”

“Of course,” he responded lowly, his focus was on his phone. “Any other demands?”

“Yup, I have one more since you asked.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t tell her that we’re coming.”

Hassan’s eyes slowly looked up from his phone, putting his focus on her. “Don’t tell her?”

“Don’t tell her.” She repeated firmly.

After the show, Zilla and Bronco went to the hospital to check on their girlfriends. They sat in the waiting room until their girlfriends had a moment to talk. The emergency department was much busier at night than they thought.

“Listen before they get done, I gotta tell you something.” Bronco whispered, making Zilla frown.

“What? And why the hell is you whisperin’? Ain’t nobody over here.”

“Cause Toni got some good ass ears, bro. Ion need her to hear this shit and tell Rye.”

“Aight, I guess. What’s up?”

“I went to talk to Gia during your match. And excuse my language but that bitch delusional,” he whispered. “It's like the whole time I was talking she heard what she wanted to hear.”

He frowned at the thought. “What she say?”

“She said that either Rye knew she could take you or you want her and either way, what she was doing was working.”

“The hell? What you say to her to make her say that?” Zilla asked, pulling his buzzing phone from his pocket. 

“All I said was to chill out cause the shit wasn't gonna work and you made it clear you ain't want her.” Bronco recounted. “That's it but somehow she got that. She said it's bigger than me that I can't keep yall together.”

“The fuck? Now when Fat beat her ass, ion wanna hear shit.”

“Fucked up thing is, she prolly won't take that warning either. That bitch looney. Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll move her to main roster.”

Zilla shrugged. “That won't solve it. I gotta go there at some point.”

Bronco thought for a second then smiled. “I got it. Trick single, maybe we can talk her up to him and get him to get her attention. If she got her own man, she won't be worried about you.”

“You think it'll work?”

Bronco shrugged, “Don't hurt to try. Who texting you?”

Rolling his eyes, Zilla texted brothers back then sat the phone down again. “Ma, my brothers, and Josh.”

“Which one you rolling your eyes at? I know it ain't Ma.” Bronco joked.

“Nah, nah.” He smiled thinking about her. “It's Josh. Ever since we got into it at Jon house, he been textin me.”

“Oh yeah. You never told what yall got into it about.”

Zilla quickly responded to his mother’'s message. “He don't like Fat. He think that she gon end up like Ms. Nadine and that I should leave her for Gia or somebody.”

“He don't like Rye?” He asked with a frown. “That's strange as hell. She ain't shit like her moms from what I been seeing.”

“And that's what I was sayin. He kept going, then when he brought up kids, I snapped at him.” He shook his head thinking of it. “I promised Fat I wouldn't say anything about it but he pissed me off, I told them about the abortion and her having her tubes tied.”

“Damn you must've really been pissed off. He textin you to apologize?”

“Yeah but he still tryna get me to hear him out.” Zilla answered, shaking his head. “Anyway, though, we can talk to Trick tomorrow. Sooner we do that shit, sooner I get her the hell away from me.”

Bronco laughed, slapping hands with his friend. “Hell yeah. Cause I can’t deal with that shit too much longer.”

“Deal with what shit?” Toni asked.

She and Moriah entered the waiting room finally getting a break from the overflow of patients coming in. Bronco gave his friend an ‘I told you so’ look before they moved to hug their girlfriends. 

“What’s up, old lady?” Bronco joked, kissing her head.

She hit him in his stomach laughing. “I got your old lady. Answer my question.”

“You nosey as shit,” he laughed, “Doing extra shit in practice cause they keep messin’ up.”

“Mmhm and so are you.”

Zilla stood with his arms still wrapped around Moriah, hugging her tight, keeping his face in her neck. She giggled trying to get him to let go.

“Zay, that’s enough.”

He shook his head, still holding onto her.

Toni pinched the back of his neck making him hiss and let go. “Always bothering that girl. Stay off of her.”

“She don’t want me to stay off her, mane. Ask her.” He laughed, pulling Moriah back to him.

“Anyway,” Moriah called out to stop their brewing argument, “We been so busy, we didn’t even get to watch the show. How was it?”

“My match was good. His match was aight,” Bronco boasted playfully and they started to play fight. “Aight, aight, you got it, bro. You know she mean as hell and gon put us out.”

“Who you callin’ mean? I am not mean.” Moriah sassed with her hands on her hips.

“I mean you are a little bit mean, girl. Just a little.” Toni laughed, pinching her fingers together.

“You know he wasn’t talkin’ bout Fat. Fat mean as hell but she ain’t gon put us out.” Zilla corrected. “You put us out like four times already.”

Toni scoffed at his interruption. “And yet yall asses still somehow end up right back in here. Ima get yall banned from my ED.”

Bronco wrapped his arms around her, poking his lip out payfully. “You gon ban ya man? If you do that then I can’t make those trips up here that you like so we both gon miss out.”

Toni gasped, hitting his arm. “Why would you say that in front of them? Now his bad ass is about to try and come up here and do that.”

“My bad, baby.”

Zilla frowned again, preparing to give an unedited response to Bronco’s admission but Moriah put her hand over his mouth and pulled him away from the couple. When they were far enough away she took her hand down and folded her arms across her chest waiting for his response.

“You knew they was up here gettin’ busy, Fat?”

“Of course I did. She’s my best friend.”

“And you ain’t tell me? I coulda been slidin up here to see you too. But it’s cool I know now, I know what to do.” He grinned rubbing his hands together.

She shook her head, wagging her finger at him. “Nope, absolutely not. No. That’s why I didn’t tell you. You do not understand the meaning of quick and you do too much.”

“I told you I can try,” he laughed. “ When you get off, we can try then.”

“Boy when I get off, you’re gonna be getting ready to go to the PC. You are not about to blame me for you being late.”

“I ain’t gon be late, I promise. You been straight up here though?”

She nodded, taking a look around the now empty waiting room. “Yeah, I’m never volunteering to switch shifts for a week again. It’s Toni fault, she tricked me. She just didn’t wanna be here alone. Heffa.”

He chuckled, running his fingers through his growing hair. “She was gonna miss you and she knew you was gonna miss her. And she know you would acted like a brat the whole week yall was without each other, man.”

She scrunched her face at him. “You get on my nerves, always tryna make sense.”

“Love you too. But you know that I ain’t what I was askin’, Fat.”

“He hasn’t been bothering me. The good thing about night shift is that when I’m coming in, he is gone or almost off. He doesn’t even leave through the ED anymore. Whatever you and Bronco did, worked.”

“What you mean? We ain’t did nothin.”

She stared at him. “You and him keep saying that but that don’t make it true, Isayah. Me and Toni already know.”

He shrugged. “Whatever you say, bae.”

“Mmhm.That bitch had her hands on you tonight?”

Hearing her tone go from sweet and light to annoyed and heavy gave him pause. He stared at her for a moment trying to contain himself. Although he would never say it out loud especially not to Moriah but the territorial side of her turned him on. If he could see more of it and it wouldn’t fuck up her mood for too long he wouldn’t complain at all.

“What bitch?” He asked biting his lip.

“You know exactly what bitch I’m talkin about, Isayah. That frog eyed bitch.”

He brought his hand to his face rubbing it trying not to smile at her, folding his other arm across his chest. “What frog eyed bitch, Fat?”

Moriah moved closer to him, pointing her finger in the middle of his chest as she spoke. “The frog eyed bitch that thought I was your damn cousin. That one.”

Chuckling a bit, Zilla grabbed her hand bringing it to his lips to kiss it but she snatched it away. “You talkin’ bout Gia? Nah she ain’t put her hands on me, Fat. I ain’t even talk to her outside of the interview I had to do.”

“Mmm, if she know what I know she better keep her hands off you. I don’t wanna have to beat her ass but I will.”

“I know you will,” he admitted in a low voice. “You can take a break right now?”

“For what?” She asked, clearly still annoyed by the thought of Gia.

“So we can go talk real quick, Fat.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “No, Zay. We literally just talked about that. No, there isn’t shit quick about what you wanna talk about.”

“I promise, the way I feel it’ll be quick.”

Holding his stare for a few moments, Moriah nodded and went over to Toni and whispered in her ear. “We’ll be right back. Don’t start.”

Toni nodded, giving her a slight push and went back to her conversation with Bronco, who shared a quick look with Zilla.

Putting her hand in his, Moriah let him lead her out of the emergency department to the lower level of the parking garage to his parked car, both of them getting in the backseat. Not wasting any time, Zilla laid her down in the backseat, his lips finding hers and his hands finding the waistband of her scrub pants, helping her pull them along with her panties down. He leaned up for a moment to pull her shoes off and then her bottoms off completely and tossed them into his front seat going back down to kiss and bite her neck.

“Zay,” she moaned softly, wrapping her arms and legs around him, wanting him closer. A squeal escaped her feeling his cold fingers moving lazily up and down her slit, purposefully not touching her clit. Her hips moved in tandem with his fingers as she tried to control the sounds she made. Knowing she was struggling with keeping as quiet as possible, he captured her lips in another searing kiss. As they kissed, he withdrew his hand from her to free himself from the confinement of his briefs and basketball shorts. He teased her for a few moments, gathering as much of her essence as he could before plunging into her bottoming out immediately. Moriah broke their kiss, her back arching as she gasped loudly at the welcomed intrusion. 

“Baby, baby, baby,” she mewled out. 

Sitting up a bit, he pulled her closer, angling her hips up smirking when she cursed under her breath. “You good?” He asked. His hands caressed her thighs and hips while he waited for her answer. 

She nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah.”

Now having the confirmation he needed, he tapped into his earlier feelings. The annoyance and anger in her eyes that lit a different type of fire within him. He pistoned his hips into her, lifting her thighs so they rested on his forearms making sure she couldn’t go anywhere. His thrusts rocked her body making her cry out to him.

“What you called her, Fat? What you say about her?” His voice was low and thick.

“Umm … fuck … I.” Her voice trailed off into incoherent words mixed with her moans. She brought her hand up to the window for leverage and to keep her head from hitting the door anymore than it already had. “That frog eyed bitch better … shit, Zay … she better keep her hands off you.”

“Yeaaaah,” he drug out lowly chasing his approaching release. “That’s that shit. What you gon do if she don’t?”

Feeling knots forming in her stomach and her body starting to tingle, she reached between them to push at his stomach. “Too much, Zay. Fuck,” she whined breathlessly. 

He smacked her hand away from him then rubbed her clit. “Watch out. Answer my question, girl.”

Moriah twitched beneath him, writhing trying to get away from him with nowhere to go. “Beat her ass,” she yelled out feeling him graze her spot. The realization wasn’t lost on him, he targeted it not sure how much longer he could hold out. “Zay, please,” she begged pulling him down to her.

“I know. I’m witchu.” He mumbled against her lips. “Shit, you want me to pull out?” The thought to put on a condom crossed his mind much too late. Even though there was a small chance that she could get pregnant, he still wore them occasionally.

She shook her head, bringing her hips up to meet his. “Cum inside me.” 

At her words, Zilla lost control, his thrusts switching from measured and controlled to erratic and sloppy, driving them both to orgasm. He shuddered, still thrusting as the both of them rode out their high. He collapsed gently on top of her, his face in her neck kissing her there. After a few, he lifted his head to smile at her. 

“Zilla told you that he could be quick.”

“Boy,’ she laughed, hitting his shoulder, “You got lucky.”

He laughed and kissed her neck and face again. “Shit, we both got lucky.”

“Swear you get on my nerves, Zay. Get off me, I gotta go back to work.”

Leaning up off of her, he eased out of her both of them hissing at the loss of contact. He reached up to turn on the courtesy light. His eyes went from her face to between them, using his index and middle finger to push his cum that started to leak out of her back in making her stare at him.

“What I do, man?” He laughed, grabbing the baby wipes out of the middle console.

She slid up a bit to lean against the door. “You know exactly what you did.”

He shrugged playfully as he took a few wipes out to clean her up and then himself and tucked it back into his briefs and shorts. Grabbing her discarded bottoms, he passed them to her then got out to give her space to put them back on. By the time he came back from the trash can, she was standing outside his car tying her shoes up. When she was finished he held his hand out to her so they could walk back to the hospital.

“So you gon let me try again when you get off or no?” He asked once they got to the waiting room.

“Maybe but I get to be on top this time.”

“Whatever you want, Fat. Zilla only purpose is to please you.” He answered lowly as he brought her into a hug, his hands finding and squeezing her ass.

Toni pushed them apart, shooing him away with her hand. “Alright, that’s enough. I’m gonna need an insulin shot if yall keep that cute stuff up.”

“Come on na, T. You coulda waited a few minutes. I was saying bye,” he laughed.

She looked at her watch then pointed at him. “I gave you fifteen minutes. That was more than enough.”

Moriah and Bronco laughed watching them go back and forth. The two of them argued like brother and sister every time they see each other and then would be the best of friends if it meant going against Moriah or Bronco. 

The phone rang and rang making Nadine’s nerves worse by the minute. With the stress of her conversation with Hassan and the shambles her relationship with Moriah was reduced to, she needed to take her mind off of it. Her head had been pounding from the off and on crying she had done after Hassan hung up on her. The life that she had built up for herself wasn’t turning out the way she had planned. Their marriage had been perfect until Hassan decided to take the job she always pulled him away from. Art and design was great and everything but it was unpredictable, she couldn’t handle the unpredictability of it. Not when he had a family to provide for. She knew he was an expert with numbers and convinced him to go into finance when they were in college but instead of him completely dropping art he had a double major. 

Him in finance and her in speech-language pathology. Their life was great, they could afford the lifestyle she needed and take care of their daughter while still being comfortable. And when Moriah met Zilla, she got the friend she never knew she needed or was missing. She had her husband, her baby, her career, the lifestyle that she dreamed of and a friend. It was all a dream until it wasn’t. 

“Nadine … you there?”

She laughed a little. “Sorry, sorry. My mind is just all over the place right now.”

The low chuckle flowed through the phone. “Is it now? My schedule is clear for the next three days.”

“That sounds lovely but I just don’t feel like the hassle of the airport and all those people in there and on the plane.”

“I wouldn’t put you on a commercial flight. You know better. I’ll send my private jet to get you.”

She snorted. “Private? Since when do you have a private jet? And didn’t tell me.”

“It’s a new purchase. You’ll be the first person I’ll have on it.”

For the first time all day, a slick smile graced her face. “What time should I be ready?”

“I’ll have a car there in about three hours to get you. That should be enough time for the jet to get there. Is that long enough or do you need more time?”

“Nope, that sounds perfect.”

“Good. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my favorite girl,” he cooed into the phone.

“It has, I’m sure we’ll make up for lost time.” She agreed, finally relaxing. “I’m gonna go pack. Thank you, DJ.”

“You’re welcome.”

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

“let me love you!” “i’ll never hurt you.” “you’re easy to love.”

from the prompt list with Billy please 💗

(in my head this time it's reader that needs to be told this because she is insecure, i see a lot of hurt/comfort fics about billy being comforted and while i absolutely love those, i feel like the idea of reader being the one that needs to be taken care of not is not explored enough in the Billy fandom 🤍)

am I projecting ? - yes absolutely

Thank you for this request! Literally loved writing this! I hope you like how it turned out :) I'm pretty sure this is gender neutral but if it isn't please let me know

Is this billy? no. Do I care? no. I love writing billy as a fluffy man and if you don't like that, that's okay <3

This week has been rough, honestly things have been rough for a while now but this week has been the worst of the worst.

All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and stay swallowed by the blankets. You didn't want to deal with anything or anyone anymore for a hot minute. And as you drive home you can feel the waves of emotions finally starting to wash over, you when you pull into your driveway your vision starts to blur. You slowly trudge up to your front door and immediately start to undress before crawling into your bed, ready to sleep the day away.

You fell asleep without even noticing. You slept through the seven phone calls Billy left you, you slept through Billy unlocking your door with the spare key you gave him, and you slept through him calling for you as he wanders into your home.

"Babe??? I'm starting to actually worry here!" He yells out before reaching your bedroom. He is about to yell your name again but he freezes seeing you buried under all of your blankets. "Fuck babe..." He kicks off his boots and crawls next to you in bed.

"Baby...come on wake up for me sweetheart" he whispers to you as he moves your hair out of your face gently. You slowly open your eyes and smile once you're greeted by the sight of his bright blue eyes. "Hi baby" you greet him sleepily and snuggle into his chest slightly.

Normally this would melt his heart, however, this time his heart fills with worry. To anyone else, they may have missed how your eyes seemed dull, or they would've shrugged it off as you being tired but he knows better than that, he knows you better then he knows himself.

"Want to fill me in here? What happened today?" Asking this question broke down your walls again and tears started filling your eyes before you could stop it. "I--well it was um..." You clear your throat trying to stop the feeling of it closing in on itself.

"Do you think I'm hard to love?" once those words were out in the atmosphere you squeezed your eyes tightly in hopes that if Billy did hear you that you closing your eyes tight enough would make you disappear. Billy did hear you though, he heard you loud and clear and that broke his heart in two.

"You're easy to love." He says matter of factly, leaving no room to argue. "Let me love you, Let me prove that what you said is so wrong." His brows furrow as anger started to flow through his veins. Who said this to them? Who put those thoughts into their beautiful mind? How long have they been thinking this? As these questions started to flow through his mind more anger started to flow through his veins.

You shake your head not wanting to think about this anymore. "I'm just so tired. I'm tired of feeling hurt, of getting hurt, of being let down. It's been such a shitty week. Been such a long, exhausting week." You ramble on before Billy makes you stop. "I'll never hurt you." Billy says in nearly a whimper. The thought of hurting you in any way destroys his soul and if he ever did hurt you he truly believes he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

"I'd never hurt you. Anyone that has hurt you are the worst, most stupidest group of people to ever live let alone breath. I don't know if you know this, if you realize this, but I...god I really love you and that isn't easy for me. If I ever hurt you I'm done for."

Your eyes filled with tears for a whole different reason. You've never seen Billy so vulnerable, you've never felt so loved before either. From how you were laying on his chest you leaned up and kissed his chin softly. "I love you too Billy, more than you'll ever know" He smiled softly and kissed your head as you rest your head on his chest one more time before falling back to sleep. As you sleep Billy starts to play with your hair and continues to whisper how much he loves you.