#so here i am watching 2 boys say the most romantic ass lines to each other

[91percentpynch]

Why do you only call me when you‘re high? - a kevaaron au

this is the second part of my kevaaron au,,, you can find part one here this one‘s out of aaron‘s point of view, i hope you enjoy it <33 get your tissues ready, this one‘s rather sad:) and trigger warnings: mention of drug abuse and homophobia,,, also sorry this one‘s rather short? i still hope you guys enjoy it!!

check this out to find the other parts:)

Every single day he called him. At two in the morning. High and honest. Every single day he told him he loved him. Every single day he got ignored.

He stopped counting the days after a month, or two. It was hard for Aaron to tell apart the days that passed where smaragd eyes weren’t the first thing he saw in the morning. It was just a blur of studying, getting high, calling him.

Aaron never was someone who believed in love. Or fate. Or destiny. He wasn’t exactly a person who believed in much. Or something at all.

The only reason he ever believed in himself were smaragd green eyes looking at him as he could make it, a rare half smile when he aced an exam, the laughter when he made stupid science jokes. But he lost those things. Lost those things because all he knew was how to lie, how to fake, how to push away.

“Love is meant to be felt between men and women” his mother used to say. And he knew better than to disagree. Knew better than to question the words she said or decisions she made. At the end of the day it was always “Believe her or feel her anger” and out of these two options believing her felt so much easier.

Aaron remembered the day he fell in love with Kevin Day on these lonely nights. When the moon greeted the lover he could never have, like he himself. It was not easy, it was messy and chaotic and rough. But how could the sin ever be easy? How could falling in love with God’s favourite fallen angle ever be anything else than messy and rough? Falling in love with Kevin Day was one of the hardest things he has ever done, yet it was the best decision he ever made. It were the small moments, stolen glance, forbidden touches that made his heart yearn the other boy’s presence.

Thinking back Aaron knew he made a mistake. Thinking back Aaron has always known he would never love anyone like he loved Kevin. But thinking back that way was something he didn’t exactly enjoy doing. Something he needed himself stop doing. Something he cannot do as it is wrong and unnatural. But if it’s unnatural and wrong, how did it make him feel so good? How did it make him feel like he was high? Without these terrible pills, without the weed he needed to fall asleep on his own?

It’s this high he misses the most. The smell of sweat and freedom. Smaragd eyes on him, sparkling as if he were the personification of Exy. It’s the feeling of being free, of the pain going numb, away even.

At two am, when he allowed himself a drag on his joint. When he allowed himself to swallow some of the funny looking pills. When the pain went numb and his mind was clear when Aaron allowed himself to think. To think about Kevin. To remember his laugh, a sound like a choir of angels singing. His smile so bright it made the sun jealous for its brightness. His eyes clear and sparkling when he talked about history. His back against his chest, steady breathing, soft hands above his own.

It’s at two am that he let’s himself remember the stolen kisses in between classes. Their study sessions which would more often end up in a make up session in a hidden corner of the library. Aaron lets himself remember the hugs from behind, a head resting on his own telling him how beautiful he is. It’s when he gets the hoodie out of his closet. Faded orange with a 02 Day on it. The smell of Kevin long gone, but if he tries hard enough he can still smell the ghost of the striker on it.

It’s those late nights he will wear the hoodie, smoking, getting his phone out and dialing the number as if he was on autopilot.

“This is the voice message of Kevin Day. You know what to do?”

“It’s Aaron. Again. Remember when I asked you on our first date. Or was that you? Anyways we went to the watch the sunset. All pretty fucking romantic. But all I could really think of was how the stupid ass sunset made your hair look so ridicously beautiful. As if you weren’t already beautiful enough, asshole. I miss your stupid voice. I miss your stupid face. I miss your stupid lips on me. Please come back to me”

It was the same as always. Really. Every single fucking day Aaron would tell Kevin about a date they once had. Every single fucking day Aaron would tell Kevin that he missed him, that he should come back.

“Come back”, he would whisper to himself laughing hysterically. “You left him you fucking moron”

And at those late nights he would often ask himself why the fuck he left the best thing he had in his miserable life. Was it the inner voice telling him how wrong it was? Was he just unable to love? Was he unable to feel happiness and accept it? He had yet to find an answer to that question.

Another starless night, another black hole of a day, another joint, another trembling hand dialing the number. But this day should be different than the rest. This day Kevin should take the call.

The line was silent. Aaron could only hear his breathing. Even, but not calm.

“What keeps you up at night?”, Aaron would as after what feels like an eternity. It could only have been seconds or minutes, maybe an hour, maybe not.

“The thought that I was stupid enough to believe you would stay”, said Kevin’s husky voice. The voice after he cried or just got up.

“Please tell me you just woke up”, Aaron whispered knowing the answer would not like the answer he would get

“Why the fuck would i get up at 2 am, just because my stupid phone rings every single fucking day which would remind me of you and only throw me deeper into this fucking black hole. Tell me. C’mon, what have I done this time? Why do you only call me when you’re high Aaron?”

"Because it's easier to be honest when it's two a.m. And I'm alone in my room with a bit of weed. It's easier to accept that I love you and that i made the biggest mistake in my life by ever thinking I could live without you. Because I only ever get high when I miss you by my side. Because accepting the fact that I love you, with every inch of my being, is easier when the pain is numb and the voices are quiet. Because I miss you and I can only accept that I fucked up when I‘m high or else it will drive me mad"

“Does it bring you joy to break my heart Aaron? Tell me, do you enjoy putting me through pain? Your lies are like little knives cutting through my heart, as viciously like the ones Riko dragged down Jean’s rips as a punishment for my mistakes. Please, just. Don’t. I get it. I wasn’t good enough for you. But this has to stop. It won’t help. It will just make things worse for me. It was just a little game for you, nothing serious. Probably a lot of fun seeing how fucking stupid I was. Did you tell Katelyn? Did you two laugh about my stupidity? My nativity? Don’t bother answering that, I want a bit of my dignity. Some of my heart to remain unbroken, so it can beat a little longer. Maybe even long enough to get over you. So please, just. Stop ”

Aaron might not be able to see the tears running down the once so beautiful cheeks, the sparkle in the smaragd eyes dying with each word, but he could hear it in the way the voice broke off, the sobs that escaped his mouth, the Irish accent that got thicker when Kevin was emotional or sad or upset. Before he could answer Kevin was gone.

“You were too good for me”, Aaron whispered into the void. “You were way too fucking good for me. You made me a better man. And I fucked up”

[trashcatsnark]

Oh, let me continue the subject of the jealousy of these two. You're saying that Johnny isn't the type to hold back when it comes to emotions. And it really is. But... there is a moment in the game when V talks about his exes or about stupid compliments in a conversation with River. And Johnny doesn't say anything. I would write it off as a scenario move, so as not to shift the focus from the River. But this isn't the only time Johnny ignores events in this quest line. See the second question

Part 2 for context:  So... I continue. Do you remember the moment when you watched brain damage and lost consciousness, when you and River were searching for clues about the mayor's murder? Johnny never ignored the moments when V passed out. Here River comes to the rescue, and you would think that he knows that there is someone to help and nothing to worry about ...But in similar situations with Judy and Panam, he would appear and deliver his moralizing remarks or make snide comments. 🤔

Personally, I do believe this is sort of a meta issue. I’ve talked about it a little bit before in a general post; how given his characterization, Johnny does not in my opinion talk as much as he should. In a more comedic example, I mentioned how could anyone honestly look me in the eye and say that Johnny wouldn’t have a comment on the guy with the exploding penis implant????  Like Johnny is majorly characterized as a guy who can’t leave well enough alone and always has something to say; yet theres a fairly large percentage of gigs and missions and moments where you’d think Johnny would have something to say and he doesn’t. There’s also times where lines are blatantly reused and in a jarring way.

Like, I could be wrong, but I think they reuse him saying “There it is” with both V getting Nibbles and a man committing suicide in a gig. Like????? 

Meta wise, I do think it’s partially a fear of over incorporating Johnny to the point players found him annoying. Because even now, some people find him irritating and wish he’d talk less. So, that could be a factor. The idea of not sidelining love interests is a factor of course. While, he has commentary through out each love interests questlines. He always does mostly bugger off during the romantic lead up and the actual kiss then sex. Because well, it might be a bit of a buzzkill and if you’re trying to get laid and Methed Out Future Keanu Reeves is yelling at you from the corner of the room. I mean, it’d probably enhance my experience but some people aren’t into that. 

As for why stuff like, him ignoring V getting zapped by the braindance in River’s quest. I’ve always thought that was ooc. Like, short of potentially the bd having fried him up for a bit, kinda like the emp blast does when V and Panam take down the AV. But overall, over and over again, Johnny is shown to be the first one there when V gets hurt. Even if its to yell at them for going into the toxic water or he waits a beat to appear once Panam is done looking over V. 

And that could be because they potentially again wanted to give more attention to River or... and I always hate to get into this sort of discourse, cause I know it aggravates some people. It was an oversight, something not caught, something not thought of, just because to be fair...River has the least polished questline of the love interests. The male love interests in general imo were sidelined more. But, River A) has the least amount of quests to build up to his romance, B) is the most easily missable love interest since he’s not even required to meet for the secret ending the way Kerry is. and C) this could just be my own personal experience, maybe cyberpunk 2077 provides unique bugs for everyone, but his quests are the buggiest for me.

And to be perfectly clear, this is not me being a dick to River. Do, I think some aspects of his character are kinda tone deaf, sure, but I like River. I think he’s a sweetheart, who’s usually pretty stiff, but has his cuter jokey moments and is a puppy dog underneath.  I love doing his quests because they’re truly very emotional, being able to help his family. Like, being able to save Randy is one of the best feelings in the game to me, knowing you saved him and so many other young boys. That’s why it honestly breaks my heart to see how little polish and attention his quests were given. From the calls glitching, him not staying on comms in the first quest, Johnny in my game doesn’t even give the dialogue warning my V about River wanting to sleep with her, like it just does not show up for me, The cobbled together family photo. The weird pacing of the romance that goes from 0 to a 100. Randy’s face glitches and clips through the mask when you’re saving him. Like the concept, the investigation, the intense stakes, and the emotional impact of his quest are all so good; but CDPR just did not in my opinion take enough time with it. 

So, maybe they didn’t bother to script and put Johnny in that scene despite it being something he’d most definitely pop in for; cause they just didn’t take their time with it like they could have/should have. 

And in regard to Johnny in universe and talking; while like I said he’s more upfront and direct with his anger and side comments that he uses to hide his real feelings. I do think, especially if its post oils field convo, a part of him tries desperately to bite his tongue and just sit with his feelings if he think its best for V. In the more love dovey romance moment with River, I could see him being like, “okay, V wants this, as much as it pisses me off, V deserves to have some good in their life” and tries to hold back and be good and then five seconds later “CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME FUCK A COP” cause he can only behave for so long. 

And I do wanna note; I am by no means consider myself a Johnny Silverhand expert. I’ve said this before, his characterization and just him as a person can be very messy, very all over the place, and contradictory at times. He can try to kill V and then the next day pop up to chat with them in a diner and be like “why aren’t you happy to see me?????? you still mad?????? its been a whole ass 5 hrs since I told you to kill yourself and bashed your head into a window, gotta learn to let shit go dude.” So, sometimes I worry I’m making him ooc, but its fun nontheless, so. 

[scvrllet]

If you're still doing these, could I get a 🎫 concert ticket for Harry Potter and Once Upon A Time?

Glad to have found your blog!!!

I'm Lucifer, but people call me Luci or Luce, I'm 21 (22 in September), I identifiy somewhere around the nonbinary category, but I see gender as something trivial. I'm a panromantic demisexual and prefer they/her pronouns. 6'3 tall, long wavy blonde hair, black eyes. I wear glasses and usually skirts with old band t-shirts (that I actually listen to).

I always have a bunch or rings around my fingers as well as multiple ear piercings. I'm super pale, to the point that people often ask me if I'm sick.

I'm introverted, but I can be a social butterfly if required. I love listening as much as talking. I never really talk about emotions/feelings but anything else I'mhappy to chat about. I don't really react to things apart from my facial expressions. The lift of an brow, a smirk or an eye-roll will let you know how I feel about things without verbal confirmation. I'm always calm and collected, and my voice stays monotonous no matter what ; I don't stutter, yell or scream.

I'm highly intelligent and very sarcastic, and rarely laugh outloud, but smirk a lot. I might come across as rude and blunt but on the inside I am a softie, just don't show it often.

I love literature (especially classic), arts and learning languages (I currently speak 18). I'm also musically very inclined. I study History and mythology. When it comes to hobbies, I read and collect lots of things things such as lighters, tarot cards, night lights, rocks/crystals and books.

I have four siblings and am the oldest, but I don't really keep in touch with my family that much. I have a few good friends (2 or 3) and I don't even really need much more.

I'm a Virgo, Slytherin and INTJ-A if that tells you anything.

I'm not athletic in the least, but am in good shape. My body is an hourglass figure and I also got a bunch of tattoos.

I have a bad habit of smoking, and usually having a glass of scotch or wine with me (but I never get drunk or even tipsy). I love spending time near water, but hate getting wet. I usually take long walks outside after midnight while listening to creepypastas or true crime podcasts. I love the genre horror overall, yet I rarely get scared. The only thing I'm scared of is being scared if something. And Santa Claus (<-- no idea as to why).

If I were to go on an ideal date, it'd hopefully be something original and not the cheese classics, but I wouldn't mind them either. I just want to experience new things.

I don't really celebrate holidays (e.g. Christmas, Ester) since I was raised in an atheist/witchcraft household.

If I still might add something, when it comes to relationships I'm never overly dramatic. I don't, as previosuly mentioned, yell or really even cry. I don't get frustrated or suspicious easily. If I see any inclination that my partner might be e.g. cheating on me, I ask them about it directly and will absolutely under no circumstanses go through their phone, computer or start stalking them. 

You wanted 3 random things, here :

1. I can't cook shit, I have set spaghetti on fire, cracked a pan in half and blown up a microwave.

2. I'm very unpredictable, but at the same time I like to stick to certain routines etc.

3. I've had my hair dyed more times that I can count with more colors than I know how to name.

Uhhh, I think that's all? I hope you have a good day :)

(🎫) CONCERT TICKETS - get a platonic or romantic ship/match-up from the fandom of your choice (max. two) along with a shirt headcanon

JOIN MY 4K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

I ship you with....

Peter Pan

- Arriving on Neverland, in hindsight, was a mistake. Magic beans while very reliable were prone to mistakes every so often and so instead of appearing in the Enchanted Forest, you were on the beach of a large island. And what was the most odd of all, was not the strange feeling you felt upon arriving on the island, but the pair of eyes you could practically feel staring at you from the trees. Hoping that it was just an animal of some sort, you walked off the beach and headed to the path through the forest.

- Unfortunately for you, the feeling lingered, following you almost as you walked through the forest. Tall trees lined the path and every once in awhile you’d see some small animals scurry away. What seemed to stand out the most however were the silhouettes standing off in the side, deep within the trees but standing right below the sunlight for you to see clearly. There was four, than five, than six than......only one. Looking at your surroundings, you saw your footprints in the ground before you and it hit you. You’d been walking in circles the whole time and the silhouette was still there.

“Hello?” You called out, not sure as to whether or not the silhouette really was there.

Without a verbal response, the figure disappeared only to reappear a few feet in front of you.

You jumped back in shock but quickly regained your balance as you studied the person before you. It was a boy, looking to be around your age, with a questioning look on his face as he looked at you. “Who are you?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I asked you first!”

“And I’m in charge of this island!”

“You? In charge of an island? What is this Neverland?” You rolled your eyes at the possibility. Neverland was a place made up so that kids could fall asleep. Not a real place that you could visit.

“Yes it is, and I run things around here so tell me, who are you.” The boy replied, emphasizing his last three words as he spoke.

“As if, what’s next? You call your little Lost Boys to come prove to me?” You scoffed. To believe that you were on Neverland was already too much and all you wanted was to get home to the Enchanted Forest but it seems you’re stuck playing pretend with a boy who doesn’t want to grow up. A shame really

Smirking, the boy simply pressed two fingers to your forehead and before you could even say something, your mind went foggy and your vision was filled with black.

- To say you got off on a rough start was an understatement. The two of you were constantly at each other’s neck while he kept you on the island, the camp specifically, and didn’t let you leave due to belief that you were a spy of some sorts. Not that he had anything to hide. Not yet at least.

- As time went on however, the two of you had begun to form a friendship. It wasn’t anything big or odd, but it was definitely new. He’d be less of an ass to you and let you explore the island on your own (with some exception).

- Upon finding your out about your hobbies, he would discreetly try to surprise you with materials to help you engage in them even if Neverland’s magic still had some restrictions. He would still try to the best of his abilities.

I also ship you with....

Blaise Zabini

- Losing was one thing Blaise never took lightly. Competitive he was but even with his ambition and skill, it was the mundane things that revolved around luck that often made him lose. Like the stupid bet he made with Theo on whether Gryffindor would win or lose where the loser would have to make a full four course meal complete with drinks for all the Slytherins in their year. Unfortunately for him, he had lost unlike Gryffindor and now here he was, spending his Saturday afternoon in the kitchens and a cookbook Pansy had given him “to help”.

- Blaise didn’t know what he’d see upon entering kitchen. He was sure to see a few House Elves, perhaps he could ask them for help, but what he didn’t except was to see you standing in front of the stove with a pot spilt cleanly in half somehow and a fire burning below. And to make matters worst, you were simply standing there as if you had been frozen.

“Hey watch out!” He called out as a flame went up towards you. Pushing you out the way just in time, he managed to save you from the burn in return of him getting burned.

“Fuck.” He hissed out in pain. Gripping his arm as he put out the fire with his wand before dropping it on the ground.

Without a word, you simply grabbed your wand and waved it above his burn. You seemed to be muttering something, a spell of some sort, as a cooling sensation covered his wound. Looking down, he was shocked to see that the burn was actually healing.

“How, how did you.... Thank you.”

“I was practicing a charm, fire control, but thank you for the concern.”

Feeling sheepish for thinking that you didn’t have it under control, he ended up excusing himself from the kitchen to head back to his dorm where his friends immediately pounced on the chance to tease him for a variety of reasons.

- The next day, instead of going to Hogsmeade with his friends, Blaise stayed back at the castle to catch up on a paper he had failed to submit on time. Deciding on going to the library, sh was disappointed to see that almost all of the tables were taken. All but one in the far back corner. Quickly heading towards it, a sigh left his lips as someone dropping their book bag into the table beat him to the table: you.

“Oh did you need the table? I can leave if you’d like?”“ You said upon noticing him standing in front of the table.

“No, no it’s alright I just uh, planned on finishing a paper for Flitwick’s class.” He admitted.

“You can have a seat if you’d like, I’ll just be doing my own work and you can do yours.” You kindly offered and Blaise gladly accepted. He really need to finish this paper or else he’s be kicked off the Quidditch team so while he didn’t get the complete privacy he originally wanted, he’s fine with this.

As the two of you worked in quiet, occasionally Blaise would sneak glances your way which you ended up catching once.

“Hi.” was all you managed to muster out as you tried to contain the wide smile that wanted yo grow on your face.

Trying his best to not chuckle at your slightly flustered state, he mirrored your smile as he replied with a “Hello.”

[cadykeus-clay]

Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was. 

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad. 

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments). 

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally. 

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120)  if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance. 

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type. 

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't. 

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and  and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold.  but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

[zukoshotleafjuice]

The funniest thing about june teasing katara and zuko about being a couple is that she just sees a pretty girl and an attractive guy, both looking almost the same age which immediately makes her go "you two must be a couple" and it just reminds me of zvtara shippers, you know what i mean? I'm convinced one of the reasons a lot of ppl ship them is bc of their looks. katara being the female protagonist and also a pretty, smart and powerful girl & zuko, despite not being the male protagonist, being the most attractive guy in the gaang. Boom, a "bomb ass ship". It is worth to recall that "people ship zutara bc they projected onto katara and had a crush on zuko". And if they say they don't ship them for that reason, then it's bc they read too much between the lines in every interaction they have. So, back to june, she didn't even care if they had chemistry or if they were friends or anything, she just straight up teased them about being a couple lmao. Because in all honesty zvtara can be an appealing ship in anyone's eyes but THAT'S IT, it doesn't go further than that. I can be testimony of that😅Before even watching the show i was like june, one day i saw a zk fanart and was like "wow aren't those zuko and katara from atla? They look so good, she's gorgeous and he's hot" i already knew kataang was endgame and that mai was zuko's love interest but seeing zuko and katara together was pleasing to my eyes. However once i watched the show for the first time (2 months ago i think) i realized there was really no romantic chemistry between them, nothing, literally nothing, i mean, i wasn't even waiting for the zvtara content in the show that made ppl ship them so much, i was actually very neutral about ships, i couldn't care less about them, but i still realized nothing was happenig between them and that it was obvious since book 1 ep 1 that kataang was endgame. Zuko and katara were two teenagers from opposite sides of a war that tried to kill each other multiple times and when zuko changed sides they developed a completely platonic relationship. As i said, people either ship them because it's an appealing and aesthetically pleasing ship (water/fire, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, the common red & blue ship) or they just love reading too much between the lines, OR BOTH, because they were so thirsty about it they ended up convincing themselves there was romantic tension between them, that they liked each other and that zvtara was scrapped when it was never planned in the first place. Not to mention the reasons why they claim zvtara should've been endgame are based only on symbolism and things they have in common that are just so ??? Random. e.g. (i saw these on a post on facebook and the comment section was hilarious, it was full of ppl being sarcastic about it & making fun of it) saying they should've been canon bc:

1. "They both lost their mothers at a young age" (?)

2. "katara was good but had rage in her heart and zuko was bad but had good in his heart so it was like yin and yang, and that was the main purpose/topic of the show" (?)

3. "they both had alter egos (painted lady and blue spirit)" (???) this one sounds like saying maiko was canon bc zuko worked in a tea shop and mai worked in a flower shop😂

4. "Zuko was the only one who supported katara in taking revenge on her mom's assassin" (?) if you ask me, that just proves zuko is not right for katara, he led her to do something she was gonna regret later (not trying to hate on zuko, i love him, and since i love him i acknowledge his flaws. I understand why he thought it was the best thing to do, he's an impulsive and resentful boy (he would've done the same if it was his mom) and he noticed how thirsty katara was for revenge, ofc he wanted to help her + he wanted her to accept him and thought it was the right thing to do in order to gain her trust, but it wasn't) unlike zuko, aang tried to make katara come to her senses and do the thing that was best for her: forgive and let go, and it was basically what she did at the end. She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.

5. and the most ridiculous one, "they both saved each other's lives in the final agni kai"(???????) and the funniest part is that it was followed by "WHAT MORE PROOFS DO YOU WANT???". Honestly wtf did ppl expect? Did they expect zuko to stand there and watch katara die? Did they expect katara to just stand there and watch zuko lay on the floor & die? And this has been said a million times and i am going to join and say it once again: zuko would've done that for ANYONE from the gaang, he would've done the same for toph, sokka, suki and aang. Because he learned to care about them. As for katara, she would've done that for anyone too wtf she healed aang once too and even brought him back to life. (I wouldn't be surprised if zk shippers used that as a parallel for romantic zvtara proof bc they're just like that💀)

There were more "reasons" but they're just so stupid and taken out of context like "they care for each other" & "katara was the one who encouraged him to talk to his uncle" like yeah that's what friends do. Basically all zvtara shippers do is REACH.

Also, i just can't see it happening. I like the enemies to lovers trope, maybe if the writers really intended to make it canon, i would have been down for the ship, it would've been interesting to see how it developed, but,, they didn't, and later i came to the realization that if it would've really happened, it would've been so... weird. Time to bring up the "colonized and colonizer ship" and how some ppl feel uncomfortable about it. Besides the fact that a relationship between zuko and katara wouldn't have worked (they're incompatible af, katara is a girl with a strong character and zuko is a guy with anger issues that takes everything personal, they'd be at each other's throats 99% of the time) it's just weird to think that katara would choose to marry a man from the fire nation, the nation that caused a big war that traumatized her, the nation that took her mother away from her. Imagine katara ruling along with zuko a nation she despised for years. Fire lady katara doesn't sit right with me, and i'm sure it doesn't sit right with a lot of ppl as well. I don't see katara doing that, and yes, i know she forgave zuko, but still, she would've never done that 🤦🏽‍♀️ i think it would've been so OOC tbh.

Another thing i laugh my ass off at is when they say "zuko should've chosen katara instead of mai" as if they were ever in a relationship for zuko to say "ok imma choose katara i wanna be with her". As if katara was EVER an option for him. They never showed interest in each other, what's not clicking?????? And zuko only had eyes for mai, not to mention that despite zuko and mai had a rough relationship, no girl would've dealed with zuko's bs better than mai. Can you imagine katara dealing with zuko blowing up over everything? Because i can't. Also people saying things like "zuko deserves someone who is always there for him and listens to him" (and ofc they're talking about katara) like, ok, you hate that katara is aang's "therapist" but you want her to be zuko's therapist. Logic? Where? And I do remember mai being a supportive gf and trying to cheer him up multiple times. Did they watch the same show as me?

Zvtarians try to play the victims about how they were "robbed" bc some voice actors shipped them and from what i've read people who worked for the show suggested to go for zk, but that's stupid, it doesn't count as "they planned it but scrapped it, we were robbed". The only word that counts are the creators' voice and they have stated they were always rooting for kataang, so no, you were not robbed.

People are just so in love with the idea of zuko and katara together they really convinced themselves it was likely to happen. Honestly zvtara it's a fine ship as fanon but ppl ruined it for me and what i hate the most is when they ship it and hate on aang and mai at the same time and make them look SO bad to invalidate kataang and maiko. Saying aang is abusive and mai is toxic is complete ✨bullshit✨ and lastly, it's ridiculous when they say the creators were cowards for not making it canon. They're cowards for not fulfilling your greatest childhood wish? Something they never planned? It is THEIR show. If you hate sm how things turned out then quit atla once and for all and go find another show that you know is gonna give you what you expect,,, it's tiring that they've been crying about it for 15 yrs , like, i joined the fandom recently but i can imagine how tired old atla fans must be of this.

OK so I have a lot of thoughts about this and firstly,,,anon I appreciate the dedication that it took for you to write  this, and I agree with many of your points. However, the attitude I have on this blog towards Avatar ships is far more neutral than what you’re saying.

Ultimately, romance is not and never was the focus of Avatar. Romantic development was always secondary or tertiary plot, and the entire show was far more focused on platonic relationship development. My attitude towards shippers on here - including Zutara shippers - is that people can ship what they want, as long as they’re respectful of each other and of the other characters that “interfere” with their ship. End of the day, shipping is irrelevant to the core of the show. 

People shipping something because they find it aesthetically appealing is honestly,,,fine. Personally, I think it’s reductionist, but I don’t care if you do because everyone has the right to enjoy media however they want to. 

That being said, we absolutely should call out racist or problematic tropes that we see, including ‘fire lady katara”. I also agree that it’s upsetting when people bash other characters in order to further their ship, as much of the bashing is also pretty racist and/or misogynistic. Calling that out, however, is separate from calling out every single person who happens to enjoy certain ships. 

“She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.”

I understand where you’re coming from, but I honestly disagree with this take. Both Aang and Zuko were approaching the situations from their own life experiences, but Katara didn’t do what either of the boys wanted. She chose her own path, by both sparing Yon Rha’s life but also refusing to forgive him. The episode is about Katara and her personal trauma and its focus should not be on her relationships with either Zuko or Aang. 

When I make posts such as this, it’s less about hating Z*tara and more about how this fandom focuses all its attention on romance and shipping, to the point where if you acknowledge a relationship’s importance it’s assumed you pair the two romantically. I don’t read Zuko and Katara’s relationship as romantic (for reasons that it would take too long to explain here), but their relationship development is extremely important, the two of them share tons of parallels and the final Agni Kai marks the culmination of both of their character arcs. Yes, Zuko would have taken the lightning for any of the characters, but it’s thematically important that it was Katara. None of this inherently means it’s romantic, but refusing to acknowledge the significance of the relationship between them is equally reductionist. 

This isn’t an attack on you, anon, and you’re 100% allowed to have negative feelings about a ship. But at the end of the day, it’s not worth getting this worked up over. If I were you I’d focus more on creating/consuming content for a ship you like than bashing ships you don’t!

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Hiccanna--100 OTP Questions, Part 2

So I said I would finish this OTP question meme someday--and I decided, entirely on random impulse, that “someday” is today!!! My Hiccanna-centered account has not been producing enough Hiccanna content lately, and this simply WILL not do.

QUESTION SOURCE: https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159857601812/100-otp-questions

LINK TO PART 1: https://hiccanna-tidbits.tumblr.com/post/635744326176129024/hiccanna-100-otp-questions-meme-part-1 51. Does either of them know how to fight? I mean...canonically yeah, they both do??? Lol I mean Hiccup has his fire sword and obviously would know how to fight with the weapons he makes/invents, and Anna literally just instinctively grabs a sword to protect her buddies in Frozen 2 and I mean we all really love Sword Anna anyways and also she PUNCHES A MAN OFF OF A BOAT so long story short yes they can both fight 52. What do they do for Valentines Day? Anna rents a rom-com and pulls Hiccup down onto their couch to watch it with her, and he kinda internally groans because he figures it’ll be something super sappy and cheesy and Anna will just be squealing with delight the whole time. Legit as soon as the first scene begins, Anna begins brutally roasting the main couple. Turns out it’s a really terrible rom-com and Anna rented it solely to make fun of it. Hiccup is like “aight this definitely wasn’t what I was expecting but I’m on board” Also Hiccup gets Anna like 3 boxes of fancy chocolate because...do I really need to explain? Anna gets Hiccup a particularly aesthetic floral arrangement for their kitchen table, something she knows damn well he secretly likes but would never admit XD 53. Who swears more? Anna, for sure. This tends to surprise people, but Anna is actually a notorious pottymouth when she gets comfortable XD Hiccup has a pretty big and borderline pretentious vocabulary, and so he tends to express his frustration in more...articulate ways when things don’t go his way. Like he’d stub his toe and just say “wow, I’d literally rather saw off my other leg than have to deal with this right now” while Anna, in the same situation, would let loose every curse word known to man XD 54. Who has the better comebacks? Hiccup, absolutely. His smart-ass comments to every conceivable situation on earth go absolutely unmatched. Anna can’t help but envy how he can almost instinctually pull out a near-perfect snide remark within seconds, whilst she, at best, thinks of the ideal comeback in the shower 3 days later. 55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale? I feel like Anna would seek out the most passive-aggressive, bitchy, entitled Karen and just wait with barely-concealed anticipation for her to say something super awful so Anna can just nail her in the face right in front of all the other moms Hiccup and their kids, meanwhile, can’t help but be awed at their wife/mother’s impressive Right Hook 56. Who reads buzzfeed? Anna. Hiccup keeps being like “you know half the stuff on there is total bullshit, right?” and Anna just shrugs like “who cares? It’s entertaining!” 57. Who is the hopeless romantic? Anna, good god, ANNA. After the whole Hans debacle I imagine she’s a bit more subdued about so openly showing this part of her personality, but at heart she just can’t stop being a romantic. Once Hiccup catches wind of this, he naturally makes a point of frequently surprising her with Grand Romantic Gestures and such, which makes Anna’s entire face go bright fuckin red as she cries out “NO STOP WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS YOU’RE TOO NICE” 58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand? Nope! They’d both fall on their faces and it would be hilarious. 59. Who can rap better? I love the idea of them both being looped into a rap battle somehow and Anna just dreading it immensely because she figures they both really suck and then when it’s their turn Hiccup comes out and busts out the BEST, MOST SAVAGE RHYMES Anna has ever heard COMPLETELY ad lib and the poor girl just goes completely catatonic with shock for like 10 minutes. 60. Do either of them want to go sky diving? See initially I was gonna say Hiccup definitely would not because it would give the poor boy an anxiety attack, but then I remembered he basically skydives in canon??? And Anna strikes me as a bit of adrenaline junkie too, so fuck it--yeah, I think they’d both enjoy it. 61. What do they usually text about? They talk a lot about movies, games, books, and shows they both like, I imagine--Hiccup especially likes to overanalyze them to ridiculous extents and Anna thinks this is adorable. The rest of the time, they send each other dumb memes and talk about random animal fun facts. Anna likes to brag that her boyfriend knows more lizard trivia than anyone else on the planet, and how many lizard facts does YOUR boyfriend know? Probably little to none, you big loser. 62. Who is the dramatic one? Anna is INCREDIBLY dramatic. Although Hiccup certainly does have a “dramatic flair,” as he puts it, I still think Anna can out-dramatic him, at the end of the day XD Although perhaps admittedly not by much. 63. Is either one confrontational? Anna certainly can be. She’s usually pretty friendly, but if she ever feels like she’s being challenged, demeaned, mocked, or generally not taken seriously, she’s ready to go to WAR. She certainly not as soft as she might look! I imagine there’s situations where someone is being a dick to either Anna or someone else and Hiccup has to physically hold her back to keep her from just decking them XD 64. What is their favourite cuddle position? Probably just good old-fashioned spooning. Hiccup actually really loves being the little spoon (because Anna just makes him feel so damn safe), but he is loathe to admit it. They also have one I like to call the “Needy Cat,” where Anna just goes and completely drapes herself over Hiccup when he’s sitting on the couch. He’s usually in the middle of doing something else, and is forced to find ways to play video games/read his book/watch his show around Anna XD 65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)? Hiccup has exactly 3 music moods--pretentious classical stuff (to listen to while working on inventions), obscure underground 90s hipster bands no one’s heard of (to play air guitar to when no one else is home), and some more well-known emo/alt rock stuff (to sing along to in the car dramatically). I can see him liking Panic! at the Disco, The Killers, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, that kinda stuff. Anna, meanwhile, likes the trashiest, most generic-sounding pop music and refuses to apologize for dancing to it in the car XD She is most DEFINITELY a Swiftie, no question. She also likes some “edgier” bands like Paramore and Hey Monday. She went through a hardcore Avril Lavigne phase in middle school and she still totally listens to her but is embarrassed to say it. Also I feel like Anna would be into 90s/early 2000s boy bands??? She relates to the boys’ endless pining and just flips the genders in her head so the songs are about Hiccup (before they start dating obs) XD I AM DEFINITELY NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE HERE, NO SIR 66. What are their parenting styles? Anna would probably be like...kind of stern, when she needs to be, but intensely nurturing as well, if her relationship with Elsa is anything to go by. Hiccup would be a pretty laid-back, chill dad who would probably try too hard to be cool and make no end of absolutely horrible dad jokes XD They both lowkey seem like the kind of parents who would end up letting their kids get away with a lot though lmao 67. Who would be the more laid back one? Hiccup probably. I mean, he IS the pacifist/diplomat guy, besides have you MET Anna??? Girl absolutely has NO chill. 68. Who listens to more vulgar music? Anna, surprisingly! Hiccup just kinda enjoys what he enjoys and doesn’t really feel the need to “prove” anything by listening to songs that swear a lot. Anna purposely listens to vulgar music to feed her hidden rebellious side and because it makes her feel badass XD She honestly kinda hates being written off as 100% wholesome and innocent all the time and will readily pull out the “I’M NOT A SWEET LITTLE FLOWER I SANG ALONG TO THAT SONG THAT JUST SAID FUCK SEE” line whenever given even the slightest chance XD 69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know? Kind of depends on when in both their timelines they meet. If they meet in the middle of HTTYD 1 or Frozen 1, they probably wouldn’t tell the other right away that they have a dragon and an ice-powered supersister, respectively XD I definitely think they would as they came to trust each other, though. Also I read a headcanon that Hiccup has burn scars from the Red Death incident where he lost his leg, and that’s why he wears so much armor and generally long sleeves--and I kind of love that. So maybe Hiccup would be cagey with Anna about how he lost his leg and that whole incident for a while before he finally opens up to her about it. Other than that I feel like they’d be pretty honest with one another, other than maybe trying to hide the more embarrassing parts of themselves to impress the other person XD 70. Who is their go to couple for a double date? Jackunzel, obviously! They’d probably all go to an arcade or an amusement park or something else pretty fun and high-energy. 71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date? I mean yes, they’re not huge assholes????? 72. How do they work out a fight? I imagine Anna tends to get more worked up and yelley and loud, while Hiccup doesn’t raise his voice much at all but can say some damn cutting things if he wants to. Since Anna probably gets angrier, I imagine she apologizes first, whether or not the fight was actually on her or not--it’s just kinda this girl’s default to apologize for everything XD She’d probably say sorry for yelling and probably overreacting, while Hiccup would also be EXTREMELY apologetic if he realized he crossed a line with one of his jabs at her. I imagine a lot of what they fight about is Anna doing some impulsive Dumb Shit^TM and Hiccup just being like “oh god DAMMIT that’s DANGEROUS you can’t just go WORRYING me like that!!!” and Anna getting offended because she kinda views this as him being a little overprotective and not trusting her to make her own decisions. Ironically, Anna occasionally also gets mad at HICCUP for doing Impulsive Dumb Shit, so he’s not always nearly as much the Voice of Reason as he thinks XD Hiccup also sometimes gets mad at Anna for not taking better care of herself (take it from a fellow ADHDer--we tend to Wallow in Despair sometimes, or straight-up forget to do basic care things like eat lunch XD)--I have an IRL friend who reminds me a lot of Hiccup and he’s ALWAYS getting on my case about not eating enough, not drinking enough water, constantly berating myself, stuff like that. I imagine Hiccup sometimes slips into Mom Mode with Anna when she gets in a bad spot, which she appreciates after the fact but kind of annoys her at the time because she wants really badly to be independent and all that. Basically TL;DR most of Anna and Hiccup’s fights can be resolved by Anna and Hiccup agreeing to next time Use A Brain Cell before they do a thing, or Anna agreeing to take better care of herself XD 73. Who brings home an illegal pet? In literally every AU possible I like to think that Hiccup brings home some variation of illegal pet XD I mean, it’s probably just a dragon (”just a dragon” is never a string of words I imagined myself using in that order like what do you mean JUST a dragon lmao) in a standard crossover timeline, which he basically does in canon, but I do love the idea of a modern AU Hiccup showing up to their apartment with some kind of weird exotic monitor lizard from Bali and being like “I found him in an alley, he’s gonna live with us now” and Anna is like “D: Is someone gonna arrest you???” And Hiccup is like “Nah, no cops followed me home” and Anna’s like “Okay!!! :D” and then goes to PetSmart to buy a big fluffy bed for her new scaled friend XD 74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on? I honestly don’t think either would care much, and they usually sleep in a tangled-up mess anyways so by morning you can’t really tell who started on which side XD 75. What is their favorite photo of them two together? One from before they got together: I’m just imagining a big group photo with the Entire Squad (Rapunzel, Jack, Merida, Moana, etc.), and Anna has her arms laced around Hiccup’s neck and her chin on his shoulder and a GIANT smirk on her face. Meanwhile Hiccup is laughing and trying to push her off, but his cheeks are BRIGHT fucking red and he’s trying really unsuccessfully to hide it because he’s a pale boi. Anna loves it because you can so CLEARLY see Hiccup’s blush, and she loves to tease him about how flustered he got around her. Hiccup loves it because it reminds him of what was probably the first time Anna was THAT openly cuddly with him, and how exhilarated and giddy he felt the first time he had her that close to him. 76. Who takes longer in the bathroom? Probably Hiccup, if only because I HC him as a bit of a germophobe who is a tiny bit obsessive about washing his hands sufficiently. 77. Who has more songs on their ipod? Anna, mainly because literally every time she hears a song she likes she’s like “!!!!! Gotta download it!!!!” LITERALLY EVERY TIME. And she wonders why her ipod is always running out of space XD 78. What movie did they first see together? As of the Modern AU Hiccanna one-shot I wrote ages ago, Revenge of the Ancient Dragon Masters! XD If we’re talking movies that actually exist, I imagine it would be a Marvel movie, a Star Wars movie, or some super-fancy-CGI high fantasy epic. 79. What do they like to see each other in? You mean like...which of the other’s outfits would they find the sexiest??? Aight, I’ll take a stab at this. Anna gets literally SO fuckin thirsty every time Hiccup wears his dragon rider outfit (the one from HTTYD 2), like it shows off his cute skinny body in the most perfect possible way whilst making him look like a badass and oh how Anna DREAMS of feeling him up in that! (One day, she finally gets to! XD) She’s also very into the scale armor from HTTYD 3 when she’s in...a very different kind of mood XD As for Hiccup, his favorite outfits of Anna’s are probably her coronation dress and her queen dress, mainly because he loves how she looks in green. He also really likes her travel outfit from Frozen 2, mainly because it’s sexy AND practical and damn, he’s gotta admit, that’s a nice shade of purple and she absolutely SLAYS in it XD 80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times? Honestly both of them??? Like neither are great at picking up social cues, and Anna canonically DOES do this in Frozen! (Remember her comment about ice-selling being “a rough business to be in right now”???) I can see both of them attempting to lighten a tense mood by making an ill-timed joke, hoping to make things less uncomfortable, and they end up making everything MORE uncomfortable XD Honestly sue me, I love the idea of these two idiots bonding over how terrible they are with social cues in general 81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children? I imagine not til like...their early 30s, if ever. Like I mentioned in the first part of the questionaire, I actually am not sure if they would even want to have kids at all, but if they DID decide to, it definitely wouldn’t be until they’re older and have settled down a bit, and have (somewhat) gotten both of their lives together. 82. What do they love about each other the most? Hiccup loves Anna’s energy and optimism, and how she’ll basically cheer him on and believe in him with all her being no matter how high the odds are stacked against him. And oh boy does he LOVE how hard she can kick ass when push comes to shove, and how goddamn overprotective she is of him. The sword skills and the general willingness to punch problematic people in the face are definitely up there as well. She’s like the perfect blend of fun and badass, and there’s never a dull moment with her for him. Anna adores Hiccup’s connection with animals and general animal skills, especially with the more less-loved and “scary” of the world’s creatures (i.e. dragons lol). She also loves and admires the shit out of his intelligence and inventiveness, and wishes she could make contraptions half as cool as what he turns out. And, of course, she loves that he’s a pretty humble dude who's actually pretty insecure about his accomplishments, and isn’t some cocky guy wanting to shove them in everyone’s face. And, of course, she loves his sarcasm and his dry sense of humor, and few people can make her laugh as hard as Hiccup can. Before she met him, she had no idea pessimism could be this entertaining XD 83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details? Hiccup is very detail-oriented--he has to be, in order to make any of his contraptions work! Anna is very much focused on the big picture and gets stressed and exasperated trying to keep track of details--she figures she’ll either sort through the details as she goes, or Hiccup will help do it for her XD 84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary? One of my IRL friends wrote “Happy anniversary bro, you’re pretty great” on his girlfriend’s instagram for their anniversary, and she wrote back “Happy anniversary, you’re a good buddy, I love you” and I just XD That’s the EXACT kind of weird dorky nonsense I can see Hiccup and Anna doing for their anniversary tbh 85. Who is bad at math? Anna, bless her soul, needs a calculator for literally EVERYTHING. Hiccup kinda trained himself to be decent at doing math in his head, since he often has to calculate measurements for his inventions and whatnot, but Anna is absolutely atrocious at it and generally would like overly-complicated numbers to not be anywhere near her. 86. Who googles everything? Probably Anna, mainly because she’s pretty forgetful and doesn’t trust her own memory half the time so she feels the need to verify everything on the internet XD 87. Who does stuff on impulse? Anna 100% canonically does, although Hiccup has some shades of this too more than he would ever admit, in fact, for someone claiming to be the Voice of Reason 88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation? Hiccup’s approach is probably just to try and distract Anna and take her mind off of it, which he’ll do by either trying to make her laugh, telling her a story, or explaining one of his inventions to her (which she never gets bored with btw, because everything that boy gushes about is fascinating to her <3). Basically he figures if he entertains her enough, it’ll take her mind off of whatever is freaking her out and she won’t fixate on it as much. Anna’s approach is more to accentuate the positives in a bad situation (although like I mentioned in Part 1, not really in a condescending “count your blessings, it could be worse!” kind of way, but more in a “I hope he’ll feel better if he focuses on happy things” kind of way, if that makes any sense?) and also focus on when Hiccup DID do great and utterly kick ass and tell him he’s always better than he thinks he is. 89. What is an inside joke they have? If anything, him calling her “Tiger” as a pet name (which I think I mentioned briefly in Part 1??? Can’t remember) is this, because in my mind it developed because whenever Anna is about to do some Dumb Shit, or punch someone she really shouldn’t in the face, Hiccup has to physically hold her back like “Whoa, slow down there, Tiger!” This happens so frequently that eventually it just gets shortened to him nicknaming her “Tiger” and all their friends are kind of baffled as to why XD 90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all? Hiccup barely even needs to start talking in funny accents or imitating his dad before Anna is just DYING laughing. She thinks he’s the funniest damn person on earth. He honestly gets a kick out of her impressions too--she can do some pretty amusing ones, if that deleted coronation dress-up scene from Frozen 1 is anything to go by. So the feeling is mutual!!! They’re super good at making each other smile and laugh with little to no effort!!! 91. What is their favourite holiday? I feel like Anna especially would get REALLY into Christmas/Yule, mainly because of how much Elsa can spice it up with her powers. And judging by the OFA short, Arendelle gets very hyped for the holidays in general, so it’s probably hard NOT to have a good time. Anna probably also like Mayday a lot because the dancing, the spring cheeriness, and the flower-related festivities are definitely to her taste. Hiccup just likes the energy and general vibes, and would rather sit back and relax and watch Anna dance around and have fun XD Also dun best believe they BOTH get hella into Halloween, because they’re dramatic motherfuckers who loves to dress up, and it gives Anna an excuse to buy a shitton of chocolate and eat all the leftovers XD 92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive? Lmao Anna is definitely the “berserker” of the two of them. She DOES tend to get destructive when she’s angry, if being ready to fight a giant-ass snowman and smacking a wolf in the face with a lute is anything to go by. Hiccup is definitely the calm and collected one, and very rarely gets genuinely angry. 93. What is their favourite board game to play? Does Dungeons and Dragons count??? I can totally imagine Hiccup being hyped up over that or some other super nerdy RPG game and being so enthused to show it to Anna, who just falls even more in love with him after seeing how EXCITED he gets about it. Of course he’s super eager to teach her, and TBH Anna has a really hard time getting it at first because DAMN these rules are COMPLICATED, but after she finally gets the hang of it, she realizes she absolutely LOVES DnD and RPG games in general (I mean...have you SEEN OFA??? Girl gets just a little TOO into reminiscing about her old play-pretend toys XD) and she and Hiccup constantly geek out about it together. 94. Who accidental sets something on fire? Anna, 100% also this is an ever funnier question if applied to Hiccanna in my Fire!Anna AU 95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store? Anna is waiting while Hiccup robs the store, if for no other reason than that Hiccup is much better at Stealth Mode than Anna is XD Anna’s uncoordinated ass would probably knock over like 5 shelves’ worth of merchandise before reaching what they were actually trying to rob XD 96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert? I M A G I N E  D R A G O N S lmao Look what can I say Anna likes the Imagine and Hiccup likes the Dragons 97. Who sleep talks? Hiccup. He mumbles about dragons a lot. Sometimes he jolts awake randomly and just yells out “THE DRAGONS ARE IN TROUBLE!” and Anna has to calm him down after she dutifully manages to not burst into laughter at this. Doubly funny if this takes place in a Modern AU. 98. Who is the more social one? Anna! Hiccup generally prefers to either keep to himself or hang out with animals. 99. What are their karaoke songs? For some reason I feel like anything by P!nk??? Idk why, but I can see them like rocking out and singing along to p!nk songs together and getting really into it. Also basically anything by The Killers and, at Anna’s request, The Chainsmokers (Hiccup thinks this is very basic music indeed but goes along with it for her sake XD). AND “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons. And they sing it LOUD. 100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh? Highkey both of them??? I kinda feel like Hiccup moreso though, if his little comedy routine imitating his dad in HTTYD2 is anything to go off of. He definitely wouldn’t be averse to making an idiot of himself to amuse Anna, especially since she’s so damn cute when she laughs. Anna, for her part, loves returning the favor, and is all about trying to do all sorts of Goofy Antics to amuse her boyfriend. And she’s overdramatic af, so she gets WAY too into it XD

[whateverthedragonswant]

and the rewatch continues

So rewatching most of season 5 and dipping into season 6, after coming from season 4, I found some things very interesting, things I actually had forgotten about and some that just hit differently now that the show has ended:

Season 4:

Brothers - different iterations: Had that finale happened after this season, it might have made better sense (though I STILL say the manner of Dean’s death is laughable)

Destiel & Cas: While Cas and Dean have some uncomfortable staring contests and there’s chemistry, I didn’t get the whole Destiel vibe (this is just my personal take), yes there’s a bond there, a growing partnership so to speak but I feel like Cas is not around enough for it to be in the forefront of the story or even to demand Dean’s attention in a way. Like Cas made his big entrance in 4x01 and we saw how things took off from there for the story and for this connection/bond between he and Dean but Dean is early season Dean and Cas is early season Cas. Though I found Cas’ interest in everything Dean Winchester to be intriguing (and he put Dean back together with his own hands, I just...this really does become the greatest love story ever told, I swear), I personally didn’t get the whole UST vibes that has been talked about. I actually found myself wanting to go deeper into Cas’ story (a la 6x20 style) aside from Dean’s and Sam’s. 

Anna: That whole night with Anna was purely that: a night. There wasn’t a whole lot of chemistry between Jensen and Julie and it’s very clear that this whole sex-on-last-night-on-earth thing is for comfort, for both characters. I kind of get why they switched up gears there for Dean’s angel role, even if they didn’t intend for Destiel to read as romantic at all initially. 4x09 & especially 4x10 were so obviously trying to ying and yang the brothers and the sides that had chosen them/complemented them: Anna | Ruby, Heaven | Hell -> eventually Michael | Lucifer. But back to Anna, while I enjoyed her character and would have loved to delve deeper with her, I am glad Cas was the one who got to stay. Anna and Dean had no chemistry, outside of a couple of glances before the big hookup/last night on Earth deal, there wasn’t really anything there. Tbf, they didn’t have a lot of private time before that, except maybe one convo. To me, in this scenario, Anna was a source of comfort (after she tells Dean he needs to forgive himself for what happened in Hell which I very much appreciated, someone had to tell him that) and attraction, letting her have her last night on Earth, a hookup, etc. But there was nothing deeper there. And for this bond with an angel to happen, there needed to be something deeper there. Perhaps had Anna been around longer and didn’t go the way she did in season 5, it might have but I honestly tend to doubt it. We all know Cas and Dean’s (Misha’s and Jensen’s) natural chemistry is off the charts. I’m not sure Anna (Julie) could have competed with that had both Cas and Anna stuck around together. I know I’m completely biased here, but I almost felt like Anna and Cas had more chemistry together, it might have been because they got more face time, I’m not sure. But I thoroughly enjoyed watching it all go down again.

Adam: Omg I forgot about how Adam wasn’t Adam when Dean and Sam first met him. That was heartbreaking on so many levels, but mostly for Adam and his mom dying the way they did and of course, for Dean and Sam. Namely Dean because he was the most affected by finding out about Adam’s existence. And I swear I fell in love with Dean more in that episode as a character because despite his pain, his anger, his hurt, he still tries to do the right thing by Adam, to honor his dad’s wishes. And John...that mf’er doesn’t deserve any of those boys as his sons. What an asshole through and through. 

Season 5:

Destiel & Cas: And now we see Cas becoming a bit more forefront and the vibe has changed...slightly. Now it’s a partnership turning into a friendship. Dean and Cas get a bit more face time and it shows. 5x03 was awesome and of course the wholly unnecessary line of “One, Bert and Ernie are gay” -- like where did that come from? I still loved it. It was tough to see Dean and Sam go their separate ways in the beginning but we still got some gold out of it with 5x03 and 5x04. And thankfully, we get more into not only more of the angel and apocalypse lore this season, but we also get to see how Cas’ relationship with the Winchesters is changing and more of what makes Cas tick as a character in his own right. And of course, bamf!Cas was very present. 

Brothers: Once again, had that finale happened after this season, it might have made more sense (sans the junk death) - because it’s very obvious that the co-dependency is alive and well here and it would have made more sense for their characters - while they have others outside of the two of them they are caring about (Bobby, Ellen, Jo just to name a few), it’s still the exclusive Winchester-only club. I truly enjoyed watching these two working together and moving towards the season finale. Dean’s memory of Sam and the fireworks, Dean talking about how Sam’s best memories weren’t the same as his (shocker, John Winchester is a d-bag, I’ll keep saying it), Dean struggling to make the decision to say yes to Michael, having to agree with the plan for Sam to say yes to Lucifer to try to trap the latter, Dean showing up to the cemetery -- all of it was incredible and the two of them were the beating heart of the show at that point. 5x22 will always be one of my favorite season finales for that show. It was pure awesomeness, truly epic and perfect.

Dean: holy hell, they really, really threw a lot into Dean this season - not that they hadn’t before, but damn. Each season just amps up the Dean game, just like I remember, and I am happily here for it again. No offense to Sam at all, but Dean is just so complex, so complicated yet straightforward, and there’s so many layers to him that they just keep peeling back and they feed us well each season. I swear, if you turned the sound off and just watched that scene where Dean tells Zachariah to call Michael, where Dean and Sam go their separate ways, you would know exactly everything Dean is feeling and thinking thanks to the incredible talent of one Mr. Jensen Ackles. Just really incredible. How this man never got nominated for an Emmy at any point for this show just astounds me. Yes, I know that show wasn’t considered a contender for that type of award run, but dammmnnnn. He deserves it and more. Watching this season and season 4 really brought back the original reasons I fell in love with Dean as a character in the first place. One of the best characters ever, I’m telling you. And may I just say, I hated that they brought back John’s leather jacket for him in the season finale but I get it, it was Kripke’s swan song (did I just do that? I believe I did) so we of course went back to core Winchester things, not just in story but every element. I’m ngl, I was so glad to see Dean shed it though when he is sitting down to dinner with Lisa and Ben.

Apocalypse: I thoroughly enjoyed this whole plot line - this really was high stakes, more than ever before, and though angels were dicks, there was Lucifer of course and a mysterious though mostly absent God behind the curtain - you just never knew what was going to be thrown at you next, just like the boys were going through.

Heaven/Mary: even though this definitely has to do with Dean more so, I did enjoy them seeing Ash and Pam, Ash’s setup, and of course Mary being there, seeing how such a good memory could be manipulated by the dick angels and the horrible things Mary said to Dean. Of course, I felt for Dean but it was interesting to see that whole scene play out. Plus we got even more confirmation of what we’ve known all along: John is a bonafide asshole and Dean really did experience facets of spousification, even before Mary died (which just makes me so sad for him, I swear if they don’t put a Cas vs John scene in the reboot... because you know Cas will win that thumb war)

Meg: ngl, I wasn’t really crazy about this iteration of Meg - I don’t mean Rachel Miner’s version, just this particular performance, which I chalk up to whoever decided they wanted her to go this route in her performance - I couldn’t believe it was the same character, the same actress - I am so glad the show/Rachel developed the character we all love to hate and secretly really love to how she was in later seasons

Jo: omg Jo. I have to admit, in season 2, in the first episode she showed up in, I despised her. She was like that bratty teenage kid who’s a real pain in the ass and whines and doesn’t get it. But after that episode, I grew to love her with each one she was in. She became a bamf in her own right and I loved seeing that come through this season especially. Her death was horrific (what is it with this show killing off bamf female hunters in such a gruesome way? it brought back horrible Eileen flashbacks for me personally, and for them to turn Meg and Ketch into somewhat redeemable characters after that... you know, I swear...) but heroic and I had never been more proud of my girl. Except the scene with Dean in the kitchen. As much as I love my chaotic hunter son, I was glad to see Jo flip him off in the way she did. So proud. And then her goodbye with Dean, I had forgotten exactly what he did so I was going “omg, she just saved you, Dean, this girl has feelings for you, she deserves at least a kiss, kiss her. right. the fuck. now!” and sure enough, he did, on the forehead, which I was like okay, well I get it, he doesn’t return those feelings but he does care about her but dammit, she deserved for him to plant one on her. and then he did and I was just gone, I was a complete bawling mess. And her goodbye scene with Ellen, and then her death along with Ellen’s sacrificing herself to stay by Jo’s side and give the boys a chance to get out of there...yeah, I didn’t stop crying for about five minutes. I cannot tell you how much I miss those characters and I would have sold someone else’s right arm to make their return in the series finale happen. Besides the obvious characters that should have been present, Ellen, Jo, and Ash deserved to be there (just not Samantha and Chad, if we can get a “Cas helped” for the third major character/lead, we can also get a “Ellen and Jo went to assist in setting up the honeymoon suite above the roadhouse - I said what I said).

John: usually, I cannot abide giving any time to this jerk, never mind talking about him, but I have to say I enjoyed seeing pre-loss John in 5x13. That conversation he has with Sam I think is so glaringly important. I know it was for Sam to forgive John and heal, but the fact that John himself is saying “how could he do that to you? he was supposed to protect you” -- yep, that was pure poetic cinema in my eyes. Because pre-loss John is right, how dare post-loss John do that to his boys? There’s no excuse anyone or this show can give him. As much as I love JDM, post-loss John Winchester will never be okay in my book.

Adam: omg Adam. First of all, I loved his dynamic with Sam and Dean. I really, really wish we could have had him around longer just for that alone. What an awesome character we could have had giving Dean and Sam a run for their money. “Well, we’re working on the power of love.” “How’s that going?” “Not so great.” -- give me an episode of the three brothers on a milk run hunt (sans generic mask-wearing vampmimes) with all of the fixings and I swear we would get done!Sam, consistently being roasted between Dean and Adam, and then Dean thinking he’s got a mutual now, a BFF, and Adam turning right around to roast him as well. It would be epic, I tell you, epic. I wish Adam had gotten a better end, this season and at the end of the series. He certainly deserved better. And this may be a random observation but why did Michael take Adam at all? I know the countdown had begun and he was desperate to grab a vessel so he could fight Lucifer at the appointed time and Dean was not giving in (that he knew of), but what chance of victory did he think he had without using his true vessel? Using that logic, I guess Michael’s end in the series makes more sense now...? Who knows.

Chuck: Swan Song (5x22) and the lines, “Endings are hard. Any chapped ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There’s always gonna be holes. And since it’s the ending, it’s all supposed to add up to something. I’m telling you, they’re a raging pain in the ass“ -- did anyone else feel like that was Kripke speaking or is it just me?

Season 6:

the whole Lisa thing: while it was nice to see Dean go domestic, I have to say I was more invested in Dean and Ben’s relationship development than I was with Dean and Lisa’s. The chemistry just wasn’t there, I have to be honest (he and Anna actually had more chemistry for a few minutes than he did with Lisa this whole season). I don’t doubt they loved each other, it was real, and Lisa was good for him at the time but it just didn’t have that spark. I loved Lisa as a character in her own right, but I was happy to see her and Dean eventually go their separate ways. Though my heart broke for Ben on that one. He and Dean really had a whole father-son bond happening there. I appreciated that when Ben called him, even that one time that nothing was really wrong, Dean dropped everything and headed right over. They had a bond of their own happening outside of Dean and Lisa’s. I think Dean ultimately made the right choice in the end to keep Lisa and Ben safe (though they should have been able to choose if they wanted this), but God did that cost him and we see it in that scene outside of the hospital with Sam. How much that hurt for him, and for us to see how it killed him to do it. I’m still grateful that he got to see what the domestic life was like and that he got a reprieve from hunting for a bit. It made complete sense as to why Cas didn’t want to pull him back in to ask for help with Raphael.

Destiel: Welp, now there’s definitely an emotional relationship happening. Meaning the bond has become even more forefront and not only is Dean affected, but we also see that Cas is, too. Dean’s reaction to finding out Cas was working with Crowley the whole time, Cas’ reaction to Dean choosing to save the two boys instead of focusing on finding Eve, Cas’ reaction to Dean’s stance on the Crowley situation, Dean’s finding out Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, Cas asking Dean to trust him, Dean seeing Cas becoming the new God and needing to summon Death, etc. It was fantastic. While it hurt during some moments, I enjoyed seeing the dynamics and reactions to these situations play out. This is definitely a friendship now, a family relationship formed (and still forming) like Dean says in 6x20. Imho, Jensen and Misha knocked it out of the park this season when it came to that relationship. I loved it.

Cas: holy hell, 6x20 has become one of my all-time favorite episodes of SPN. I loved seeing Cas’ POV. Cas was already a fave character of mine but this episode made me fall in love with him all over again. This was incredible and I’m so thankful they fed us so well with this one. I really enjoyed seeing Cas as a character stepping into the forefront, right there with Dean and Sam. Yes, he was a part of TFW before this, but you have to admit that in this season, it becomes a whole new ball game. Really amazing stuff and of course, Misha slayed it all.

Meg & Megstiel: I was so happy to see the iteration of Meg return that we know from later seasons. Maybe I’m just too used to that version but to me this felt more effortless for the character and for Rachel, that really let both shine. Personally, I’m not a Megstiel shipper. While I love their dynamic, it just isn’t there for me, but I really did enjoy their scenes together. Cas felt as if he needed a little shaking up so to speak so I think she was perfect for that. Plus, I have a hard time forgiving those in the show that sic Hellhounds on my bamf female hunters so that might be partially the reason for my bias, just saying. (I never really forgave Ketch either)

Samuel...& Co: I just...why? Don’t get me wrong, I liked Mitch but this felt a bit...I don’t know...off? Other than some place for Soulless!Sam to go while Dean was playing house and for nabbing Alphas for Crowley, I don’t get what the point of this story line was? Was it to show us that Mary’s dad was a d-bag? Check. Was it to show us how people sometimes make the worst decisions when it comes to their family? Double check. Like, we kind of already got that and it was just unnecessary confirmation if that makes sense. And the thing that kills me is that Samuel was in Hell (or goes to Hell, I kind of did other things in the background during that arc) but he loved his daughter enough to betray her sons and do the wrong thing but John gets to go to Heaven? This still confounds me. Though I enjoyed Gwen and it was a shame she couldn’t be a family contact in another state for the boys later on to pop up every now and then.

Soulless!Sam: I enjoyed this part of Sam’s arc but I won’t lie, I was relieved like everyone else when he finally got his soul back though waited with bated breath for the other shoe to drop. But it was interesting to see this side of Sam.

Dad!Dean: I know I mentioned Dean and Ben above, but that one episode with the shifter!baby, that was priceless and God, did I love it.

I just loved going back to this for both boys

[cooloddball]

DESTIEL AND COCKLES RANT

THIS IS A RANT ON ALL THINGS DESTIEL AND COCKLES

PS. I do not know how to make gifs and or use photos yet so feel free to add yours

I have said this before and I will say it again. I have been in this fandom for a month and I ship Destiel and Cockles anyone who has a problem with this then move along and/or if you are an anti and read this, keep your hateful comments to yourself.

That being said, I have read about almost all ships in the fandom but mostly Destiel, Cockles, Wincest, and J2. Through all the reading and discovery, I still have to say I ship Cockles and Destiel more than ever before. However, I have seen some things from the antis that did not sit well with me.

This is going to be a long post so brace yourself and it is mostly about the hate the antis (anti-cockles, anti-wives , and anti-Destiel Shippers spread). Also this is a rant so don’t mind me,

ON DESTIEL

The hate on Destiel is massive. Mostly this is from Bronlies who hate Cas like he is the anti-Christ, and the Wincest shippers.

Now I am not trying to rain on anyone’s parade but come on. Cas is Dean’s best friend. Whether you ship them romantically or not, it is canon that Cas Dean’s best friend. We have seen time and again how miserable Dean is every time Cas dies. Dea has also expressly stated that Cas is his best friend and even said they are better together; all three of them including Sam. He has called him his family. So why the hate? Chuck himself has said that he has rebuilt Cas more times than anyone.

Now, people who believe that it is better to ship Sam and Dean who are literally blood brother but it is not okay to ship Dean and Cas what is wrong with you? Is it okay for someone to fuck their brother and/or be in love with them? I mean come on.

Before I was even a shipper, I always looked forward to episodes that Cas was in. He brought a different dynamic to the show in a positive way. Yes, I love the brothers but Cas is just deifferent and all the sass he brings makes the show, at least to me 10 times better. Sue me.

People saying that JA would never be comfortable with Destine because he is a Christian. I mean, he can call Chuck a dick, call angels dicks, make deals with demons and all other unchristian things but kissing another man is where he draws the line? If he was such a Christian, why does he let another man straddle him on stage or want to kill God?

Someone once said that JA supports wincest. I saw the video and I get what he said is that whatever floats your boat or something like that. So why is it so hard for him when it comes to Destiel? I don’t understand this man. He is a paradox.

 ON COCKLES

I have seen antis, mostly those who ship J2 throw shade at MC saying that JA doesn’t like him, he just tolerates him and everything they do is for PR. I have not once seen anyone say that JP doesn’t like MC. You know why? I believe they view MC as a threat to their J2 ship.

So I stumbledupon this antis blog who had a whole analysis (much like am doing here) on why JA cannot be a couple. Here are some that I remember from the top of my head:

1.     That JA said that he thinks Matt Bomer is attractive.

2.     That JA moved to Austin to be live next to JP.

3.     That JA and MC have nothing in common being that JA plays golf and sings etc and that MC does woodwork, writes poetry and bicycle touring.

4.     That JA is with JP hence no. 2.

5.     That JA does not curse on stage but MC does.

6.     That MC does not take acting seriously but JA does.

Now now now. This beats logic. All the above things I beg to differ with not because I am cockles shipper but it is just common sense.

Being with someone or rather being in love with someone does not mean any of the above things have to be true. Hear me out.

1.     On finding Matt Bomer attractive. I have many celebrity crushes, there are also ordinary people that I find attractive. But then again, I have a boyfriend, who I am in love with; I have been with for six years. But he looks nothing like my celebrity crushes or the ordinary people I find attractive. Does that mean I am not in love with him? No. It means I have eyes and I can appreciate beauty and have a few fantasies but I chose to be with him because I love him. He also has other people he finds attractive that look nothing like me, does that mean he does not love me? I mean come on.

 Oh the most hilarious thing is that the anti said you cannot compare Matt to MC since Matt is way attractive. I mean come on; they may not look alike but they both have dark hair, blue eyes. Seriously people! And MC is so handsome and adorable at the same time. Sometimes I feel like he looks better than JA and JP. Sue me.

 2.     On JA moving to Austin. Lol. This means that he went to live next to his best friend. I mean come on. I have moved to live next to my best friend (bff) who is married. Does that mean I am in love with her? Hell no! But I feel safer knowing that she is there for me.

Also people need to understand, MC and JA could be involved romantically or not (pick your poison) but you don’t need to be next to your lover to love them or be in a relationship with them. Lond distance relationships anyone? They have families and kids and other priorities. Just because you are in a relationship with someone does not necessarily mean you live together or evn in the same area. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and also they are where they are now because of other priorities in their lives. So, living together or in the same town doesn’t make you more or less in love.

3.     On the issue of common interests. This made me laugh so hard. I mean comeon, People who are together do not need to share any interests. The diversity of their interests is probably what attracted them to each other. Also how can you say a poet and a singer have nothing in common? They are artists. MC can write poems that JA can sing. Oh also remember that video MC’s friend DM posted on Twitter where they did the whole bicycle touring in Germany? Uh huh? JA seemed to be interested in that a lot. So..

4.     I could say a lot about JA being with Jp. This J2 being married and their wives being beards is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Seriously, J2 tinhats have gone ahead to hate of D’s posts and call her names. Telling her to stop pretending that she is JA. It is laughable and not in a nice way, really. Can they just stop? Before I became a cockles shipper I watched J2 videos where they interact be it cons, red carpet moments or even gag reels. It is just different. All I see are two bros; one that is really playful like a little puppy and the other one trying to be the big brother. As for JA and MC, it is different, there are things that JA is comfortable when Mc does that he is not comfortable when JP does them. Neck kisses for a start.

Also most of the J2 tinhats evidence about J2 being real is rarely backed up by visual evidence and if there is any, it is usually from years ago. I am not hating on antis, just stating facts.

5.     I mean, cursing on stage really? I curse all the time my bf doesn’t. Does that mean he doesn’t like me or love me? Hell to the Fucking No! Suck it!

6.     On Mc not taking acting seriously. Yeah I can guess why he doesn’t. It is not his only priority unlike JA who has chosen it as a career path. From what I have seen, MC’s priorities include making the world a better place through charities, politics, and oh, he is also a writer. Oh so forgive him if he is not obsessed with acting. Besides JA says that he likes how he acts as Cas because it is not like anything he has seen from other guest stars that have come on the show. I mean not being serious about something does not mean that you are not good at it. Would he have lasted 11 seasons if he was not good at what he does?

There was also hate that JA is only around MC for PR and he actually hates him. There were some photos and gifs so the apparent hate. So, if he cannot stand him, why is there so much evidence of JA going to MC to give some love, Neck kisses, intimate IG posts, face caresses, ass smacks, calling him his baby dadfy, heart eyes, even when they don’t know that they are being filmed?

Also why is it during the Vegascon 2020 all JA did was bring up MC unnecessarily even when no one, absolutely nobody asked him to. Come on! stop the bs and admit that Cockles is the realest ship in the history of ships!!

ON THE WIVES

I swear bitches be crazy. How can you just hat someone for literally nothing? This is mostly from J2 tinhats at other J2 stans who do not ship J2 together romantically. I mean…comeon. You do not need to be a stan for the wives just because they are married to J2 but please stop with the madness.

I recently saw someone comment on various JA posts on IG asking why he is lying to the fans that he is with D when he is with JP. So many rude things have been said about the wives especially D that it breaks my heart.

Seiously? People have gone ahead even to say that she is with JA’s friend SC and that the twins are not JA’s they are SC’s since D and SC are ‘always’ hanging out together. My question is, so D is not supposed to hang out with their friends? And for Chuck’s sake, everyone can see that the twins especially the boy (idk their names, sorry) looks like JA’s twin. I mean come on people.

I believe that they hate D because she says how much she loves MC and that Cas is her favorite character and that they are also bitter that JA chose her and not them. Just my opinion, but what do I know. On JP and G. I don’t know much about them mostly because I do not follow either of them of IG or elsewhere but I have seen hate on G as well.

The antis have gone ahead to say that when JA said that he was hanging out with SC writing songs, that he was lying and that nothing was happening he was just trying to dampen the rumours. I wonder how they felt when the album by JA and Sc came out last year. Jokes on you haters. Bitches be crazy fr.

Oh, the antis also say that the same way JA looks at his wife is the same way he looks at MC. With contempt. I mean talk about hanging yourself with your own rope. What they are saying is, JA feels about his wife the same way he feels abouts MC. Aww! That is true love bitches.

If JA actually cannot stand MC, shouldn’t he have gotten him fired from the show or at least make sure he gets less screen time and that they don’t have any panels together being that JA is the star of the show and all. I mean Mark left and he was a major character to the plot so...

Also why would JA give and buy MC clothes if he hates him? Give him a ring, a bracelet? Huh? Explain it to me.

Oh, some anti also said that before every Cockles panel at JIBCON JA cries and has to be forced on stage by Daniella and JP has to give him a hug and that’s why he drinks a lot of apple juice. LOL. WTF? What do you say to such people. I cannot even..My question is, are we talking about the same Cockles panels that I have seen? Then JA deserves all the Oscars and Tony Awards for his impeccable acting skills when he is around MC. Must really hate him. *wink*

MY TWO CENTS ON COCKLES

I know JA gives off mixed actions about MC. But I think it is to confuse people like us, shippers.  He does’t want to too out there so he tries so hard to be mean with his words. But his actions tell a different story. I mean, who gets a boner when their friend straddles them on stage and then goes ahead to post that chest to chest selfie on IG. That is the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Sharing clothes? I mean friends do share clothes but if it is like a daily thing. More than 20 articles of clothing exchanged between each other on various occasions even when they are apart does not make sense to me. And to make matters worse, JA does not deny it. One even had a tag on it. Lol. We are not children, we can see what is going on.

The 2014 DallasCon – Rob’s Birthday Party. WTF? Was all that between JA and MC? Why did he he swallow and react like that when he saw MC’s bare abdomen? Who does that? Also the looks when MC was leaving the stage. Come on.

Also what was up with the” I love you from the bottom of my heart” at the MTV top 10 in 2010.

The wife is my rock but I am glad to have some pebbles in my life.

Truth is, JA could post a video of him balls deep in MC and the antis could say that somehow MC manipulated JA to post it for PR.

People need to leave MC alone, he ie a human being who has made mistakes, JA and JP have too and I don’t see the antis hating on them. The double Standard s FOH.

I could write about this forever but the truth is JA loves MC, and D and V know that they love each other. All their friends know including JP and other castmates. I believe they know it is more than just friends and the antis can’t stand it because they also know it to be true.

JA LOVES MC. JP LOVES MC. J2M LOVE EACH OTHER. J2 LOVE THEIR WIVES. STOP THE HATE!!

I am not done but I am done for now. I could be here forever writing about this if I do not stop.

[sugarandspice-games]

I guess this is becoming a trend... I’m popping in before the actual intro to clarify-- if the text is in italic, it is me (Sugar) talking and regular is Spice. Alright? Cool. And so--

So, one night I’m going through youtube and I come upon this one shitposty video about some random anime that I’ve never even heard of. After doing some research, I discover that it’s actually based on a dating sim that I’ve also never heard of. As a joke I was like “Hey Sugar wanna watch this as a joke, it might be funny” and so we did. And uhm. Well.

Today we’re gonna be reviewing Brothers Conflict, aka Sweet Home Alabama 2: Electric Anime Boogaloo aka the anime that ruined our lives. [Again, disclaimer: neither Sugar nor I condone incest and/or pedophilia, two themes which are uh, very rampant in this anime which is why I cannot recommend it in good faith. It’s not good, don’t get me wrong. I can’t really say that I liked it even if watching it and ragging on it was kind of enjoyable, and I did get attached to some of the characters because that’s the kind of idiot I am. Also, we’re not shirking our duties to write I swear please don’t kill me--] Anyway, an obligatory SPOILER WARNING though this probably isn’t going in the main tag bc I do not want the fans to publicly stone me. Why are we reviewing this? Bc we need to talk about it somewhere. Though I say review lightly bc this... is really more of a critique.

ALSO we only watched the anime, idk if things are different in the game. There is no full english translation for the games and most of the LP channels have been copyright striked, so please don’t come at us for not knowing anything. I also know that otome games and dating sims don’t tend to translate well to anime, and I will be addressing this later.

So, dear god, where do I begin.

Where do we begin indeed? How about the fact that her name is Ema and I had to google to remember the heroine’s name? Also, she is seventeen.

Our plot, or well... what you COULD call a plot, I guess, if you REALLY wanted to give this anime that much credit, focuses on the aforementioned seventeen year old Hinata Ema, who has an absent father who apparently FOUND THE TIME TO FALL IN LOVE AND GET MARRIED BUT NEVER HAS A SECOND TO SPARE FOR HIS ONLY CHILD, RINTARO I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TAKING CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD. HAND HER OVER-- Anyway. He’s getting married to a woman who has 13 sons (jesus christ ma’am have you ever heard of a condom?) and he decides to move her in with them because... I guess he has less braincells than I have balls, which is to say, zero. Hi, I’m trans.

So, Ema moves in with them... along with her talking grey squirrel, Juli. Juli is... interesting and by interesting, I mean-- ABSOLUTELY PUZZLING. He, apparently, has seen the majority of Ema’s life from babyhood to teenagerhood and can talk but is only understood by Ema (who he calls Chii) and Louis, the eighth son in the Asahina family. It is never explained why, or how Chii came across him or how in an episode, a single episode, he becomes human because why the hell not, I guess??? (Also, he is pretty. YES. I said it. Fight me.) [Quick Spice intervention, this squirrel can talk to people, transform into a human, enter dreams, and live way longer than a squirrel should since the average lifespan of a squirrel is like 6 years in the wild. Juli is apparently a god as none of this is EVER explained.]

And when she meets the Asahina family, it’s pretty much immediately chaos because these heterosexual (I guess? They look like a bunch of twinks to me but there goes anime trying to convince me that straight people are real and not a lie made up by Trump) men have NEVER and I mean NEVER known a woman in their entire lives, since they seem to want to bang their stepsister immediately. And most of them are GROWN ASS ADULTS. Only three of them are actually minors (though Iori is 18 and only one year older so I guess??? It’s okay??? But still weird) and one of them is a 13 year old who looks and acts like he’s 8.

Oh, and did I mention that out of these boys, only the adult triplets and the abusive asshole 16 year old get any kind of characterization AND character development? I mean, Subaru gets an “arc” if you can call it that, but really, they don’t give him much... personality. You could replace him with a cardboard cutout and it’d be the same. I feel bad for him (but not really because dude you are 20 and she is your sister, what the fuck--)

But if there’s anything good about this anime, it is the characters themselves. Several of the boys have redeeming qualities and interesting personalities and quirks, as well as interesting relationships and dynamics with each other. Yes, some of them are lacking in the plotline department while others may have decent plotlines and lack personality, and then some of them are just given absolutely nothing (COUGH Masaomi COUGH Ukyo COUGHCOUGHCOUGH Iori, and by the way, what the fuck is that game plotline bc I read the wiki since I wanted to know more about him. We don’t have time to unpack the mento illness luv. But you’re telling me they had all this meat to work with and they threw it in the trash and gave him nothing? What the hell?) And if anything, I feel as if the characters themselves are crippled by the plotline. If given a different story, perhaps, they may have room to shine, because a lot of them are compelling if not lovable (though some may not be... lovable. COUGHFuuto, at least not for me.) If you want to see our review on the characters, we’ll put out another post.

Iori... Iori has a hell of a plot in the game, according to the Wiki but I can’t blame the writers for not exploring all of it because whoa. It is dark and not in a good way. But back to the subject at hand... I agree with Spice. I do/did like quite a lot of the characters... provided the entire romantic plot is taken away but we will go into more of why the plot is problematic below. All I can really add is: There is a baby in this dumpster and canon has been taken out back to be shot like a lame horse.

This brings me to a point in which I would like to pause the character discussion and bring up a glaring flaw with this anime in general (aside from the... plot. Look, I’m not a huge fan of weird stepsibling stuff but I think that if you want to do something like that, there are ways to do it and ways not to do it. This was the way not to do it, which I’m getting to). The biggest thing that made this anime so uncomfortable was the imbalance of power dynamics. Why is the protagonist 17 when most of the love interests are 18 and older, and I mean much, much older? And she’s not any 17 year old... she’s a lonely, neglected girl who is starved for the love of a family. This makes her easily manipulated by the brothers, who clearly desire her for less than wholesome reasons, and that makes it skeevy. I’m not sure why there’s such a fetishization of nonconsent in media, as if it’s fine for as many men to lust after female protagonists as the writer desires BUT the woman can’t want a single one of them in return. It’s creepy, and quite frankly, I am very much over it. I also get that the age thing is probably a product of the protagonist of a teenager oriented dating sim not translating well to an anime (because really, all otome game MCs are meant to be a neat little pair of shoes for the player to imagine themselves in), but why are we fetishizing a teenager being groomed by adults anyway? Especially adults who have this much power over her to begin with? The power dynamics bring this plot from “Oh, this might be kinda trashy but it could be entertaining” to “This is extremely creepy and rapey and kind of a dumpster fire.”

This is also true. If we were to take age into consideration, Fuuto, Yusuke, and Iori would be the three candidates left for Chii. This is taking out the youngest as well, who is... thirteen, I think? But anyway, (I know I am probably going to get some hate for this but go for it), I am into stories that explore the stepsibling thing and it can make a good narrative-- but before everyone gets uppity: There is a line between FICTION and REALITY and I do not condone real life incest but a story is a story and there are ways to frame it that make it clear that it is not a romantic thing, or acceptable. This anime does not do that in it’s dynamics because some of the brothers do start off in that very firm caregiving, family role and it is a sharp turn into romance that makes you go, “?” or in Fuuto case, a blending that does lean into fetishization.

All in all I think the plot maybe could have been okay? I’m not saying it isn’t problematic, because we all know it is, who are we kidding? But I don’t think it’s wrong per se to explore family dynamics with romance and to understand where the line should be drawn, and maybe exploring the definition of family itself. I have seen fanfictions with similar tropes ask those questions and explore the concept beautifully without romanticizing or fetishizing incest and unhealthy power dynamics. It could have been good, and I get that perhaps I’m barking up the wrong tree by expecting mature themes in an anime based on an otome game, but it also could have been a lot less... creepy (I have used that word so much that it looks wrong now) even if it wasn’t the greatest thing ever. But again, what was I expecting? I watched this whole thing as a joke and ended up attached to the characters like a fool... That tends to be a trend here, and this is why we are so salty all the time. So anyway, stay tuned for our review of the characters! We may not cover all of them since some of them don’t really get anything, but we’ll cover what we found interesting.

[bangtansfavwriter]

🌷jungkook having a crush on you🌷

- jk and you vibed so fast that you became close friends very quickly (the chaotic duo that tested hyung line's last nerves when you were in your mischievous mood)

-you sorta became an honorary member of the maknae line and after you pulled a prank on jin that included a chocolate cake, marmite and liquorice and ended up with jin's face shrivelling so bad that it may have caused him his first wrinkles

(his revenge was to serve you kimchi bokkeumbap with kimchi that had gone bad, which resulted in the worst heartburn you ever had ("an eye for a eye, y/n" - you, drinking your 3rd mint tea that night: "fair enough"), you redeemed yourself by buying him hyaluronic acid lotion and his favourite strawberry cheesecake, jk just laughed his ass off to the misery jin and you went through and blackmailed jin with marmite whenever they bickered ("it will hit u when u least expect it, hyung" - "I can't believed I raised lucifer himself"))

-anyway, jk and you are always very playful together, and you laugh so much when you're with him bc of his antics

-he doesn't mind being extra goofy to make you laugh, it lifts his spirits as well

-hates to see you sad/upset, namjoon and jk once spoke about you, after namjoon asked him about your guys' friendship and for the first time in ages he was sure jungkook had deeper feelings for someone, as he said: "I don't mind making a fool out of myself, if it brings a smile on y/n's face. hyung, I know this is going to sound weird but sometimes I feel like it is my purpose to show y/n everything good and funny, this is something I wanna keep doing for a long time." (tbh namjoon teared up)

-your guys' fav pastimes were watching cartoons/animes and you had a fiery competition going on in any kind of jump and run games, especially for sonic (you once beat jk after a 4 hour session and he threw a dramatic fit until you made him hot chocolate and he finally calmed down)

-would show you tons of pics and vids of gureum and filmed every minute of your first encounter

-your personal photographer tbh, you two could go chill in a parking lot and he would still do the most aesthetic shots

-despite all the funny moments you two also had serious conversations together. moments like that were rare and mostly after 2am when you two shared secrets with each other you didn't dare to speak about at daytime, like your views on love where jungkook first thought of how much he wants to be your "loved one"

-has a folder with his favourite pics of you or places that remind him of you somehow, but he'd never tell you that

- tries to impress you quiet often, like the time you went for karaoke

your pick: new face

his pick: vision of love

you: ????????? bitch ?????? do i look like i can sing a mariah song????

jk: well....... i can..... 👀

you: i'll see you at the whistle notes

jk: i've made a huge mistake

-you're usually the first person to listen to his covers and he looooves seeing your reaction to it (but he's usually pretty nervous about it too)

- cannot concentrate for shit when you're watching him during dance practice, so hobi told you, in a nice way, to stay away from dance practice for the sake of bts and jk apologised like 12 times to everyone, he got better at focusing over time and you watched him once in a while... but he'd get v shy when he had to do hip thrusts and stuff, you'd just laugh it off but in reality you were just trying to hide you how much he actually affects you, especially during a choreo like that

-the boys teased him quite a lot about you and he'd get all whiny and say it's not like he had a crush on you or something

vmin: *laughing*

sope: *shaking their heads*

jin: oh reallyyy~~

namjoon: so you're ok with the fact y/n is on a date rn?

jungkook: WHAT

- so namjoon took out his phone and showed jk that you updated your story with some food pic where you could see a man's hand in the background, who was also tagged in the pic

namjoon: see? that guy also tagged y/n here in his pic

jk: .....

-the guys stopped teasing him the second they realized how upset jk actually was (he went completely silent, eyebrows furrowed), yoongi just stated the obvious: "our maknae is in love, huh", the boys smiled and jungkook nodded with a sad look on his face

-the next time you visited the guys jungkook was visibly flustered around you and would be just overwhelmed with the entire situation bc he wanted to know who that guy was, but he didn't know how to ask and neither did he want to intrude and what if you're taking it the wrong way and say that it's none of his business and suddenly he loses his best friend because of some stupid guy in a stupid picture and some stupid hypothetical date.... overthinking at its finest, as you can see...

-you didn't know why he became so awkward around you, the boys obviously knew but they couldn't say anything without risking jungkook completely losing his shit, but jungkook avoided you and left early when you were there and you were like "... why"...well the boys knew why but they couldn't say anything

-you tried talking to him but he tried to avoid you since he got so flustered around you that he'd stuttering, get embarrassed about it and then leave...

-you asked the boys about it, but they wouldn't say anything but tbh this was almost painful to watch for them bc they love their maknae but they knew this wasn't going anywhere.... so their eldest took the matter into his own hands and talked to you and asked you about the guy in your story.....

-shortly after that, the guys went to europe for vacation. jungkooks airport look was something for the goth look book once again, while the other guys looked bright and ready for their time off, and jin was like "oh here we go again" and once again jk helped out...

- the boys knew he kept himself busy the entire time after things got awkward with you, but they didn't exactly know what he was doing in his studio, only taehyung knew he was editing something

-so the boys were enjoying their time off and even got jungkook's mind off of you with some sightseeing and other leisure activities they had planned

-but at the end of the day, he thought of you and read your last messages over and over again. the last time you had texted was when you wished him a good time in europe and he thanked you. he sighed as he realized how your long texts with each other had turned into such short ones within 1 week

- yoongi: i cannot take this anymore, we need to do something about this

jin: i did. i invited y/n to join us.

the boys: ???

jin: all expenses on the company.

the boys: ?????????

-also, this was the first time you guys were separated, and it gave him the chance think about what he truly wants for you two, friendship or more.. he decided to confide in namjoon and jin about it and seek advice

namjoon: i'm sure y/n likes you too, and even if not, which I really doubt, at least you'll get it sorted out that way and carry on

jk: hyung, see that's the thing. if my feelings will not be reciprocated, i won't be able to continue a friendship... that's why I am so scared.

jin: y/n's coming here, tomorrow, jk, only for you, so i'm pretty sure your feelings will be reciprocated. just be honest about them.

jk: what do you mean y/n's gonna be here tomorrow?

jin: exactly that.

jk: with all due respect, hyung-nim, what the fuck

(-namjoon cackling in the background-)

-so jin explained how he asked you about joining them bc jk was so down and reassured jk that he didn't tell you anything about his feelings and that you solely come there bc you also had 2 weeks off and you wanted to spend time with him, even though jin had some convincing to do since you thought it might be awkward between jk and you

- jin: also, the supposed date on her story? that was just a night out among co-workers, so it was definitely not a date, I asked y/n about it

jk: ....... why didn't you tell me sooner? why are you telling me that a week later, when I'm in another country??

jin: remember the time you put actual fish oil in my bungeoppang?

jk:

jin: see, you did this and I'm still arranging you a romantic getaway, like the merciful god i am

jk: oh my god

jin: exactly

-jk texted you the same night and asked you where you are and said that jin told him everything. "maybe I should let the food war continue after all..", you thought and rolled your eyes. you sent jungkook a pic from the view you had from your hotel room, where you arrived a few hours prior, and he could clearly recognize that you were indeed there, as unbelievable as it was for him.

you: I can't believe jin ruined the surprise

jk: trust me, it still was a huge surprise for me

you: a good one, I hope?

jk: definitely... you know, i actually wanted to text you.

you: about the past week, i suppose?

jk: kinda. i'm going to send you something. it was done rather quickly, so have some mercy on me with that.. and please don't be mad at me

you: ok..? you're kind of worrying me here

jk: and y/n.. i won't say anything about it, it should speak for itself.. and please don't say anything about it until I see you tomorrow, ok?

you: alright..

jk: I'll see you at the café jin hyung told me about, depending on the answer you're gonna give me

you: I'll be there, no matter what

jk: ok, then, yellow shirt in case you're answer is positive, black shirt in any other case, how about that?

you: fine by me koo ☺️

jk: ok...... here goes nothing 🙇🏻‍♂️

-what he sent you was a gcf with your name as the title and what followed was a beautiful compilation of your favourite moments you and jungkook had shared, and some moments you weren't even aware of the fact that he was filming you..some scenes, for example: your guys' trip to lotte world, you giggling into the camera when turned the cam to both of you wearing bunny ears, you laughing your ass off while filming him dancing to cl's "hello bitches", you on the day you went to the planetarium together, the time you came over to his place with food after he was too exhausted to do anything after practice and you watched "spirited away" together, then you playing with gureum while he giggles behind the camera, you being bts' no 1 hype man during their concert preparations, some videos where you cheered for him during the days you two spent apart bc of award shows.... and at the end of the video there was a single picture of you two, where you smiled widely into the camera, while he looked at you with a shy smile on his face... and finally, you heard his voice saying the words which appeared on screen: "be my loved one".

- the next day, jungkook was waiting for you in the café opposite the church, where you would come to as well. he was nervous as hell and honestly he still wasn't sure if you're actually going to come there or if jin played a prank on him. he checked his texts again and again and just stared at the "read" sign beneath the text and the video he sent you and mentally slapped himself for telling you to keep your answer to yourself until you meet him in the café. he started overthinking again, to a point where he zoned out so much that he didn't even notice 6 guys with huge sunglasses and a suspicious lot of newspapers, sitting at another table what finally made him snap back into reality was the sound of someone pulling the chair at his table, which instantly made him turn around only to see you sitting down next to him, right at the moment when the bells started ringing. undoubtedly, the colour yellow has never made jungkook happier.

💕

epilogue:

-at the dorms with the boys after you left your company dinner party early-

jimin: why'd you come back so early?

you: because SOMEONE almost broke my co-workers hand during a handshake

jk: it's called asserting dominance, y/n, don't you ever listen to david attenborough sunbaenim?

[staticscreenwriting]

All you have to be is here - Part 12

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age who has a phenomenal smile and who is way too nice to him.I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

Part 12 of ? (Slight mention of smut)

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 //

Please help a girl out by reblogging. Thank you

♥Attention ! If you wanna be tagged pls send me a message or an ask it’s easier and faster for me than going through the tags of each part every time. Thank you :)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.] 

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

There’s a crying kid on the airplane two rows behind him and a woman loudly bickering to her seat neighbour, right across. It’s loud and stuffy and the seats are well small.

None of it matters though, because Billy relishes in this moment. He’s finally on his way home. Even if it’s just for a few days, his heart already feels much lighter from just the thought of it.

The ever present anger coursing through his system, is but a mere memory in the back of his head, as the plane starts to move.

“ Are you excited ? “ (Y/N) asks from beside him. His initial reaction is an overwhelming urge to roll his eyes. What a silly question. He’s been looking forward to this day from the moment his dad had first told him about their plans to move to Hawkins. California is home. It’s bright suns and soft mornings and piano melodies carried by the wind all the way from the living room down to the beach.

It’s scuffed up knees and sweat and waves so big they made young Billy speechless as he watched them crash against the shore, a look of curious fascination on his face.

Billy really wants to roll his eyes at the question, throw her some sarcastic comment and make that the end of it. He knows it comes from a good place though, a place of care and worry and — unfiltered joy.

She’s genuinely excited for him. No one’s ever been excited for him. Not to this extend.

It also comes from a place of anxiety. It’s hidden and if you don’t know what to look for, you wouldn’t realize it. Billy knows though. She’s told him before, casually slipped it into a conversation. “ Yeah, I’ve never flown before but, no big deal.”

But it is a big deal. It’s a huge deal.

So taking that all into consideration, he doesn’t roll his eyes at her. Instead he takes her hand in his, placed a kiss on her forehead and grants her a smile. It’s a “yes” without having to say a word. It’s a “everything’s gonna be alright.”

And he believes it. He truly believes it himself.

His eyes wander back towards the window as the airplane lifts up into the air. The world down below gets further and further away with every second, every blink of an eye. Houses that towered tall above his head just moments ago are now but tiny tiny dots.

Billy has expected to feel some kind of way once they’re up in the clouds. Insignificant. Like one small dot in an ocean of shapes. One dot that makes no difference to the whole picture whether he’s there or not.

He expected to feel small. Instead, it all feels weirdly liberating. To see how much world there is to discover. How much life there is yet to be lived. To see that Hawkins, too, is just a dot. There’s so much more out there, he doesn’t have to be confined to this shitty little town that makes him feel like he’s stuck in a perpetual state of anger and frustration.

The world is, literally, at his feet right now. And now, he’s no idiot. He knows the world ain’t his fucing oyster. There’s things he’ll never get to do. But it’s nice to let yourself dream every once in a while. And what better time than while up in the damn clouds.

______________________

Driving along the Californian roads he knows so well is a strange feeling. The car is different and, to a certain extend, the boy driving it is different too. The roads are the same though. They feel so familiar.

Yes there’s a mix of emotions swirling around inside of him. It feels like he’s hardly been gone and yet it feels like a lifetime has gone by since he’s last driven along these roads.

There’s a sparkle in (Y/N) eyes, he notices as he glances over towards her. She looks gorgeous as the sun falls through the window and onto her skin. Like a scene straight from a postcard. Perfect. Flawless.

“ So you said, we’re going to stay at a beach cabin. Isn’t that like, super expensive ? “ she asks, leaning back in her seat and swaying along to the music ever so slightly.

“ Ah I got a good deal. “

H doesn’t tell her that this good deal comes from knowing the woman who rents out these beach cabins. That she once found him crying by the beach, blackeye and nosebleed perfectly on display. She told him then, after giving him cookies and cleaning him up, that he would always have a place to stay whenever he needs it.

She’s keeping her word.

There’s some traumas you don’t have to share, and maybe he should, but he doesn’t want to. Some traumas you just live with. You grin and bear and hope that one day when things get better, they won’t weigh so heavy on you anymore. That one day they turn into dusty memories that only flatter around your head every once in a blue moon.

So this one he’s keeping to himself for now. Because right this moment, though it still feels heavy on his chest, it doesn’t really matter. He’s home, driving along familiar roads with a girl that makes his heart do silly things.

_____________________

The beach cabin is small compared to the other ones lining the coast but to Billy and (Y/N) it is more than enough. There’s a living room with a little porch connected to it, looking straight out onto the beach. A small kitchen, a bathroom with a shower and a big bathtub. Billy would be lying is he says he hasn’t thought of all the things they might be doing in that tub.

The bedroom though, is the most breathtaking of all the rooms. It’s all softy blues and whites and light grays. Like the ocean on a peaceful sunday morning captured in the confines of one small beach cabin. There’s huge windows that allow you to look straight at the sea as you lay in bed. He can’t wait to wake up to this view. Can’t wait to wake up to it with (Y/N) in his arms.

“ This is insane. I absolutely love this ! “ (Y/N) exclaims as she throws herself onto the bed with enthusiasm. “ I wish we could go out explore, like right now. But I am so exhausted. “

They’d been up all night, packing the last of their stuff and taking a taxi to the airport. It’s only once she mentions it, that Billy realises just how tired he is. Though he knows there’s no sleep coming for him anytime soon. All his senses, all his emotions are running on overdrive right now. It’s an abundance of memories clashing with so many ideas of what these next few days might hold. His head is too loud to even think about sleep right now.

“ How about you go take a nap and I’ll go get us something to eat. How’s that sound ? “

“ So domestic. What a gentleman “ (Y/N) jokes, coming over to wrap one arm around Billy’s neck and absentmindedly play with a button of his shirt with the other.

“ Gentleman, huh ? I’ll show you how much of a gentleman I can be later “ Billy replies then lowers his head to level his lips with her ears, softly breathing against her skin, making goosebumps appear. “ when I fuck you into this very mattress. We can even watch the waves while we do it. “

“ So romantic “ she quips but there’s a very prominent red hue coloring her cheeks.

“ Jesus, did I make you blush. “

“ No. “

Lies.

“ Alright. Whatever you say, babe. Go have a nap. “ he says and stirs her towards the bed, giving her ass a little tap “ you’ll need the energy later. “

____________________

Some upbeat spanish music is playing from the overhead stereo as Billy browses the isle of some tiny bodega in one of the many side streets away from the more touristy areas.

There’s two sandwiches in the little plastic bag hanging from his arm, but that’s only enough to keep them fed until dinner. He knows he’s gonna stock up on at least a bit of food. He also knows his girl needs her coffee in the morning.

His eyes move along the shelves stocked with all kinds of foods and drinks, as a voice speaks up from beside him.

“ Hargrove ? “

It’s a voice he hasn’t heard since the day his family left for Hawkins. He remembers the last words this voice ever said to him. They’ve been flowing through his head many many times. They were usually followed by so many questions. The loudest of them all, all but screaming at him. “Why don’t any of them call ? Why don’t any of them care ? Why doesn’t he care ? “

Johnny Foster stands as lanky and tall as he always did. His shaggy brown hair falls into his face with every move he makes and his shirts seems to swallow his narrow frame. There’s a baseball cap on his head in an attempt to keep his unruly hair in place, and the pair of beat up sneakers still have Billy’s name scribbled onto them, alongside those of all their other friends.

Johnny hasn’t changed a thing since they day the Hargroves left. Billy doesn’t know if this is comforting.

“ Hargrove ! It’s you. Hey man. “

Before he can even say a word, he’s wrapped into a big hug. Johnny is the human equivalent of some over excited golden retriever puppy. He smells like ocean air and pot.

“ Man. I didn’t know you were gonna be home. You should’ve called !”

It’s then, that Billy is shaken from his thoughts. He should’ve called ? They should’ve ! Johnny and Dylan and all the others. None of them did though. So why should he.

“ You didn’t. “

“ Didn’t what ? “

“ Call. “

Johnny’s face screws up in confusion. “ Yeah I did. I talked to your dad and you stepmom a few times. You were never home. “

It’s like cold ice water running down his spine, as Johnny throws those words at him. He did call and he did care. Everything he thought he had come to terms with, is now but a lie. An intricate web of deception, woven to keep him isolated from the few happy things in his past.

God, he fucking hates Neil. And Susan.

“ I take it you didn’t know that. Hey man, I’m sorry. “

“ Not your fault. “

“ So you’re home ! Are you back permanently ? “

Yeah. He’s home. And it feels like it. The pressure, the weight, te sadness. It’s all dulled and muted here. There’s been hurt and pain here too, lots of it. But the cause of most of those things is now so many miles away.

“ Not for now. Just for a few days. It’s my girl’s birthday. “

Johnny takes a double take, eyes wide in surprise “ Your girl, huh ? Like an actual committed girlfriend, kinda girl. “

“ Mmh. “

“ Damn, Billy Hargrove has a girlfriend. Indiana changed you, man. “

He says it not with malice though, not even with mock judgement. It’s a fact. One that’s undeniable and unshakable. Billy doesn’t think Johnny knows even the smallest amount of how much Indiana has changed him. Or maybe not the state itself. Maybe it’s what came with it. The people. The girl. The feelings.

“ Guess so. “

“ She cool ? “

It’s such a Johnny think to ask. Some of his other friends from California probably would’ve asked if she was hot. Maybe even more crass things. Not Johnny. Johnny doesn’t care about superficial things. Johnny cares about people in the way a dog does, or a little kid. Are they nice? Are they fun? And most importantly, are they cool ?

“ Yeah, Johnny. She’s real cool. “

“ Bring her around, dude ! Let me call the others and set up a bonfire down by the beach. Like old times. “

“ I don’t know. “

It’s not that he doesn’t want to. It’s just a lot. Seeing his old friends again. Some of which aren’t the way Johnny is. Aren’t forgiving and sweet and goofy.

“ C’mon, Billy. I wanna meet your girl. I’m your best friend I should get to meet her while you’re here. And I know the others want to see you too. We missed you, man. “

And maybe that’s all it takes. To know he was being missed. By the same people he spend month believing had just forgotten about him.

“ Alright, yeah. Let’s do it. “

As Johnny smiles his goofy, little boy smile. Billy thinks maybe he missed his friends too.

_____________________________

(Y/N) lets out a passionate moan of absolute satisfaction. Sex with her, it’s just different. Especially here. With the ocean and the beach as a backdrop to her bouncing on his dick like her life depends on it.

Her skin is soft, so fucking soft. And she feels so warm around him. The light from outside casts an ethereal glow around her. She looks like a goddamn angel as she rides him.

Her breasts bounce as she moves in a steady rhythm, fast, rough, hard. In a way that seems almost pornorgraphy if it wasn’t for the innocent smile of pleasure on her face. She’s a fucking goddess. In all ways possible.

The way her body shakes and twitches let’s him know he’s doing a good job. That he’s bringing her close. Closer. Always closer. She places a sloppy kiss on his lips as she comes undone around him, squeezing him in the most delicious ways. And how can he possibly hold it together at that. His moves are sloppy and uncontrolled but he's so desperate to chase the high, to follow her over the edge. And when he does, god — he’s straight to heaven.

Their sweaty bodies stick to each other, as (Y/N) slumps down on the bed next to him and places lazy kisses up and down his neck, actively killing him little by little. If this girl knows just how big her power over him is, he’s positively screwed.

Than again, getting screwed by her really isn’t the worst case scenario now, is it ?

“ Why are you smiling so big, huh ? “ her voice comes out husky and rough.

Billy hasn’t even realised he’s smiling. Not actively. But really, what is there not to smile about. He’s home, with his girl, giving and receiving great orgasms, while the waves crash against the shore in a peaceful rhythm.

“ Because I’m happy. “

And it’s not a fleeting moment then, like it usually is. His happy moments in Hawkins are few and far between. Not here. It’s been a constant state of bliss since they got off the plane.

“ Good. That’s all I ever want you to be “

“ Are you happy ? “ Billy asks her and pulls her closer to his body, if that is even possible.

“ I’ve never been happier. “

That is all he ever wants her to be.

__________________________

The bonfire casts a glow of gold an red across the beach. There’s people mingling everywhere and most of them have stopped by Billy over the course of the night, catching him up on their lives and asking about his.

Some of them, he is indifferent about and some of them he’s missed so dearly. (Y/N) stands by his side, smiling and laughing and cracking jokes. And then Johnny comes up to them, with his usually slagging walk. Like his legs are too long for his body.

“ Hey, guys. “ he slurs, obviously having had a cup or two of the punch already.

“ (Y/N), that’s Johnny, my best friend. “

It’s not really a lie. He’s his best friend. The thing is, (Y/N) is his best friend too. And they’re both important for many different things. He loves them both for completely different reasons.

It’s also kinda cheesy to say his girlfriend is his best friend, so he keeps that to himself. He doesn’t have to say it for her to know. It’s a mutual feeling.

“ Johnny, this is (Y/N). My girlfriend. “ It feels great to introduce her this way. Not weird as he had expected. It feels — right. More right than anything has felt in a while.

“ Aw, man. You’re gorgeous. You sure you wanna stick it with this screwball ?  I mean, yeah he’s got a great ass but, the hair ? the mustache ? You sure ? “

Johnny is the only person that gets to say there things about Billy without having to fear any repercussions. Because they don’t come from a place of hostility or ill will. That’s just what friends do. It’s loving banter. It’s friendship.

“ Ah, you know. He’s being really good so far. I think I’ll keep him around for a while. “ (Y/N) replies and then the two of them fall into a joking conversation full of laughter and smiles and drunken hiccups from Johnny.

Billy, then, thinks that this is what his life should’ve been from the start. Going to a party by the beach. Watching his girlfriend and his best friend joking around. Smiling. Laughing. Happy.

There’s a warm feeling spreading through his chest. One of complete and utter content. If moments where photographs, he would take a million pictures of this one. To hold it close forever as the moment his life truly begins.

____________________________

It’s many, many hours later as Billy walks along the beach by himself, plopping down onto the sand a small distance from the bonfire. The party is winding down a little further up the shore but most of the people are either asleep on the floor, in their cars or have already left a while ago.

The world feels peaceful around him. Quiet and serene. Bad things happening, pain and hurt and anger — It all seems to far away here. As if this is a bubble he gets to live in for a few short days. A bubble showing him how good a life can be.

He knows that soon the night is giving in to the blinding light of a rising sun and with a day gone, the inevitable pop of the bubble gets closer and closer. But he’s positively tipsy right now on punch and love and life. And he doesn’t wanna think about Hawkins. About Neil. About what might happen with his mom.

He just wants to be. For one moment he just wants to be alive without having to worry about anything else.

A soft touch shakes him from his daydream, as (Y/N) drops down into the sand next to him. Their eyes are on the horizon but their hearts are with each other. Always.

“ I like your friends. “

“ Yeah ? That’s good. I think they like you too. “

Really, how could anyone not like her? She’s phenomenal in every aspect.

“ You know what else I like. No — what I love ? “ she continues.

“ What’s that ? “

“ The way you are, since we arrived. So — light. You smile more and you laugh more and you’re goofy and fun and I haven’t seen you scowl. Not even once. “

Billy hasn’t expect her to notice. He noticed a change in himself, sure. But he thought it was more of an inside change. For a second it makes him feel uneasy. Vulnerable. Showing your emotions to other people can be dangerous.

But then it sets in, that this isn’t Hawkins and this isn’t Neil and he can be vulnerable and he can show emotions. There’s no shame in it and there’s no fear of any consequences.

The only consequence coming from it might be (Y/N) showering him with even more love in return, and that he can surely live with.

“ I love you, (Y/N). “

It’s still strange to say it but some things mean so much, they’re worth saying even if it’s scary.

“ I love you too. “

See ? Totally worth it.

The sun slowly rises in the east behind them, it throws hues of blues and pinks across the city, across the buildings and palm trees and streets of people waking up. California mornings are spectacular for they feels soft and magical. And maybe it’s a memory clouded in pure and utter nostalgia, but that’s how they always felt to Billy.

It still feels this way now. Though magic comes from many places these days. His friends. His girl. His home.

“ Hey, baby ? “

“ Hmm ? “

“ I think I wanna go see my mom the day after your birthday. I think I want her to meet you. “

(Y/N) kisses his cheek, then his lips, then smiles “ Okay. I’m with you every step of the way. “

The morning sunshine makes her shimmer in a golden glow and Billy wonders how his heart is ever going to hold together when the time comes for them to leave ?

__________________

taglist:

@babygal-babygal / @anxiousamandapanda / @imjusthereforsupernatural / @chhhcherybomb / @tomarisela / @noodlenerd101 / @xxcxrolinexx​ / @bippity-boppity-boopa​ / @mcrmarvelloki​ / @silver-winter-wolf​ / @thecrowclubsmanager​ / @theroyalbrownbarbie​ / @salemlysi​ / @asheseiler​ / @stra-vage​/ @ssstutteringbbbill / @biliyonce / @addictofsupernatural / @angelophany / @charmed-asylum / @xxemoluverxx / @killer-queen-xo / @1lluminaticonfirmed / @rebel-broken-angel / @ayybtch / @dean-jace-doctor / @sarai-ibn-la-ahad / @amesishappy // @your-dreams-are-strong // @blazin-writes // @sgt-morgan

[itsakpopalypse]

Lou/Kim Hosung Astrology: How He Loves

OML he’s so precious i wanna squish his cheekies

As always 18+ under the cut

“omg i loved your astrology ask - romantic breakdown with Ayno so much! Can I get one for Lou, please?😊” - @randomkpopfiction

A/N I'm so happy to hear you’ve been enjoying my posts ! Here you go , I hope that you like it !!

Let’s talk tall boi

okay so his big 3 by our best estimation is Aries Rising, Sagittarius sun and Taurus moon, 2 fire and an earth

His chart lean is pretty evenly split between fire and earth, with one more earth and one air. no water whatsoever

that’s notable because water is the emotional element, so that suggests he isn’t prone to big emotional driven actions

we will get into that more as we go 

it’s just something that sets the tone of his chart

also his perfect split between mutable and cardinal suggests he can take the lead or be incredibly adaptable

so he actually seems very chill just looking at those facts 

for the romance-y stuff lessgo

Aries are confident go-getters, so he will seem pretty sure of himself in all situations

whatever he does he puts his WHOLE DAMN ASS INTO IT

we do not half ass anything in this house we whole ass it

can be a little brash, but his moon will help stop that from being too prominent since Taurus is basically the slowest moving most careful earth sign. 

since Aries is a cardinal sign though, he may seem a little intense and take charge in situations where others don’t seem to have their stuff together

Sun in Sagittarius, he is adventurous, lacks fear, and longs for intellectual insights, like he will ask you so many questions and fire back anything he thinks fits his own life

is really interesting to converse with

probably really laid back but still willing to talk to anyone

the kind of person who could make friends anywhere and with anyone

probably super curious and less cautious than he should be 

Taurus moon is affectionate but a bit shy and likes things to be very familiar

they are generally uncomfortable with change so his sun is a great balance to push him into more outgoing settings and to try new things

even if his moon will be a little filled with butterflies 

aw im soft

since your moons is the depth of your feelings he is steadfast and intentional

slow moving but once he has chosen for himself it is his focus

he will be a steady and reliable partner, but still be fun and spontaneous since his sun is so fiery. 

honestly looking through this chart I’m like he would be anyone's coolest best friend and just vibe in the most interesting way what a neat person?? where do i get one ???

let’s translate these and his other signs into a relationship starting with 

FLUFF

listen Sagittarius is the peter pan right? 

he doesn't WANNA grow up 

he wants to experience life and DO THINGS

but his Taurus moon will probably make him shy away even though his heart is BURSTING OKAY

Taurus is also one of the more artistic minded and sensual signs 

so he is creative and romantic and probably loves a cheesy rom com with cuddles

you may have to encourage his courageous side when emotions hit but you may have to chill him out where danger is involved

since his Mercury is Capricorn which is the cardinal of earth he will be really smart about his communication

so he will think things out well and be incredibly clever and quick witted

it suggests his humor is a bit sarcastic and savage and honestly 

like i consider Cap the most ‘millennial’ humor 

as in sarcasm and self deprecation 

but since that Aries stands proud he will probably still simultaneously know he’s pretty fantastic

like he knows he is awesome but also judges himself really hard probably

Venus in Sagittarius so this is interesting

of the fire signs it’s kind of more reserved romantically

Has REALLY high standards when it comes to what he wants in a relationship and intends for them to be met

not like how you look or sound or whatever

but will not tolerate disrespect of degradation on either side

has a lot of pride in keeping his relationships solid and communicative

an enthusiastic speaker, once he has set you as a comfortable person to communicate with he will lean into that and probably has a zillion incredibly interesting things he has pondered over about life and love that he wants to have deep conversations about

he would be the coolest to have talks about really relative things

might need some pushing if you want to discuss emotions 

that Taurus moon will win out only if you nourish and validate his feelings

so if you meet and he likes you somewhere a long the line, it will be a push and pull between Sagittarius wanting to love everyone and Taurus wanting to be sure of someone

the philosopher mind of a Sagittarius will draw him to you platonically and if you are affectionate, steady and warm his Taurus will basically flop down like a huge dog and beg for pats-metaphorically

His venus suggests that he would love to entice you with his wit, his spontaneity and his laughs,

He knows he is charming and full of life and he will use it against you 

and probably tease the ever living shit out of you for it

say he is cracking jokes or being adorable and you stare at him fondly, or giggle at a joke

he will be playful back

expect him to call you out

he is going to say something like “Oh I know I am beautiful but you’ll wear my face out staring like that.” with a wink

honestly a little shit sometimes wtf

doesn’t get jealous and doesn’t tolerate jealousy

so if you start as friends it will be this seamless fit into his friend group and he won’t even care if Ziu lays all over you or whatever

it won’t even seem abnormal to him even if he likes you

in fact he will probably just join the cuddle huddle or make sarcastic jokes about it

Sagittarius venus love fun and new experiences but they are not about to enjoy a shallow relationship

expect him to solidify boundaries and ask you out officially pretty quickly 

They are not a flighty sign even though they are a bit in the clouds sometimes 

the love an intense and passionate love and will not settle for less

Get you those healthy boundaries Lou

so i imagine as adventurous but thoughtful as his blend of signs is, especially with a Virgo Mars

he is going to think of the most interesting and sincere way to ask you out

maybe plan a day trip somewhere special

idk a hike or the beach or something 

and after he’s spent the entire day building memories with you 

he will ask you if you want to keep making these memories

maybe show you a little album on his phone of the selfies he’s taken with you for the last few months

wow soft and cute i love it 

and if you say yes he is going to start by being like oh yeah okay cool

then he will walk a few steps away and turn his back and start freaking out about how happy he is

a bouncy giggle mess over there and you’re like.... are you okay

he’s like.... *cough* yes I am FINE

sure you are

his north nodes is Libra so he is likely to need you around as he accomplishes goals

basically he wants to experience life with you and not separate from you and will work to make sure those goals align with each other

probably neither against nor particularly for public displays of affection

it will matter most to him that you are there with him, and if you want to add affection into it he won’t be opposed

but expect snark

“If you need to hold on to me you can.”

I also see him as the type to fall asleep on you during movies and really relish if he wakes up still in your arms

really low key affection is his thing

probably writes i love you on your leg with his finger when you are in the car or around people but he doesn’t wanna shout it out

likes to put his chin on your head and kiss the top of your head so gently

gently cups the side of your face and stares into your eyes all dreamy 

HAND KISSES

so cute I’m soft 

soft hours are closing

18+  below the cut

must he do this I’m scared

WOOOP 

spicy talk 

INTENSE

playful but intesnse

Sagittarius are exploratory signs  so that will probably make it into the bedroom ngl

like they like new experiences

so he is going to be learning things and sitting you down to talk about hard yes’s and no’s

we stan healthy communcation

maybe a little switchy?

I think he prefers to be in charge of your pleasure but I think he would be down to try laying back and letting you take the reins

to be honest he seems like he would really be into blindfolding ?

like blindfold him and tell him he has to make you cum but he has to do it with just his hands

jfc those hands i think you’ll be okay

lives for excitement and trust in a relationship

it has to go both ways, the Taurus moon demands it

he wants you to trust him with your whole being and he will give that in return

he wants you to be greedy with your own pleasure

“Touch yourself for me baby, I wanna see you”

looks at you like a work of art he wants to paint with his hands and tongue and cum

probably nasty but in the absolute most intimate way

hey you know what he sounds like saying give me more already I expect that’s what you hear after your third orgasm sorry I don’t make the rules

with a Virgo mars (his actions) mixed with so much Sagittarius expect him to treat you like his own personal experiment

really wants you to be as vocal about it as he is 

communicate what you like and don’t

wants you to ride him so he can watch you and comment on how beautiful you are

“you want me to fuck you hard you have to earn it.”

teasing little shit i stg

the Taurus makes me think he is kind of really intimate about it all

the kind of guy who might spank you , but will massage it gently after, 

holds onto the back of your neck and pulls you into his thrusts 

probably furrows his brow in concentration

and he has this like.. excitable side with all this fire energy that makes me feel like he gets really energetic about the whole ordeal

like he is SO AMAZED you are letting him touch you that he just kinda 

implodes

probably makes the softest little groans when you run your nails down his chest

wants to be marked in places no one else can see

doesn’t think of it as ownership or “marking” in  a traditional way

thinks of it as little reminders on his skin for only you two to know about 

that’s kinda beautiful tbh 

aftercare is probably haphazard but it will involve a lot of touching,

like none of his signs are particularly care-taker-ey 

but he will be sure you get lots of affection after more intense sessions so  you feel loved and protected

probably kisses your face all over and pulls you into an embrace

mumbles about your future together as you fall asleep 

it’s really cute aw

TWO MORE MEMBERS and both have been requested, expect them soon!

thank you for requesting and while I have a few more astrology posts and one request for a short story coming down the pipeline, I also have a oneshot I wrote on my own and am currently editing coming. Expect some stuff!!

Requests are open !

[ifyoucouldholdme]

Movie Nights with Trashmouth Chapter 4

Word Count: 1467

Pairing: Bichie, Bill/Richie

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

Read on AO3

“Billy boy, Big Bill, Billiam Tell Overture! What’s good, Daddy-O?” the babbling voice incoherently burst from Bill’s phone. He nearly dropped it from the painful shock of Richie’s piercing prattling.                “S-shit, Richie, that was lame even for y-you,” he chuckled through a grimace. Richie groaned through the line, his amateur dramatics on full display. “I expect that kind of attack on my character from our Eds, but not from my dear, sweet Bill.” Heat flushed Bill’s cheeks and swirled in his chest at the pet name. ‘My dear, sweet Bill.’ He called me his.

“Did I lose you?”

Snap out of it, Denbrough. Play it cool. “S-sorry. B-bad service out here. You r-ready for our m-m-movie night?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m just—” A violent crash cut off his reply.

“R-Richie, are you ok?”

“Yeah,” he groaned, “just setting up the movies.”

“I can’t w-wait to see what you picked.” It was only a half lie. While their taste in genre did overlap, Richie tended to favor “so bad, they’re good” monster flicks or movies he could easily make fun of while showing off their extreme atrocity. Bill preferred films with some degree of artistic merit, even if they wouldn’t widely be loved. This particular viewing deserved a bit more lenience, since Bill would most likely not be giving the television his full attention anyway.

“Oh yeah, I definitely got some epic winners.”

“Some epic w-winners for the L-Losers?” Bill quipped. A choked snort blew through the line, followed by what faintly sounded like rain. Running water, maybe? “D-do you want me to bring a-anything?”

“Nah, just get your cute buns over here, and let’s start this marathon!” Bill squeaked, and Richie went uncharacteristically quiet. The water noise ran, matching the blood rushing in Bill’s ears. “Uh…” Richie finally muttered. “Popcorn’s burning, gotta go, bye!” The phone clicked, and the sound ended.

What was it Eddie said before? It might not be a romantic date? But Richie just called his “buns” cute. That’s not something you say to just a friend. Heat boiled in his gut and his groin at the thought of Richie’s eyes wandering across his backside. Perhaps even his long, roaming fingers…

Then again, Richie constantly crossed the line into inappropriate territory for the sake of a laugh. He always harassed Eddie with peppered smooches and took every opportunity to pinch Stan’s ass. Then of course he had to dodge the following punches each swung his way. Was he even actually gay? For as long as they had been friends, Bill couldn’t actually remember a time when Richie was in a real relationship. Oh, God, what if Eddie was right and here he is, Bill the fool, wearing his heart on his favorite flannel sleeves. Richie’s not romantically interested in him. Who would be? His just a stuttering mess, and Richie’s probably just bored and lonely.

Bill’s doubtful meandering eventually brought him to Richie’s door. The Toziers both worked odd hours and frequently traveled, so the Losers had long ago learned to let themselves in when expected. Bill’s trembling fingers brushed through the flaking paint on the underside of the weathered porch until they found the spare key Richie ordered specially made for them. Maybe Bill should have just knocked instead. This was, at least in his mind, different than any other hangout after all. Maybe Richie wanted to meet him at the door. Either way, Bill had already passed through into the Tozier’s inviting entryway. Well, it’s Richie. He won’t mind.

“H-hey, Rich, I’m h-here,” he called into the house. He’s voice bounced down the halls only accompanied by a faint, staticky noise. Bill didn’t think too much on it, assuming that a commercial or cheesy sitcom distracted Richie for a bit too long. He continued down the hall and opened Richie’s door—decorated with a classy “If the car’s a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’” sign—to find an immaculately clean bedroom. No pile of dirty socks, no empty soda cans. Did I walk into the wrong house? The confusion struck Bill hard enough that he didn’t notice when the noise in the background stopped, nor did he hear the thumping or the muttering wandering down the hall. No, that’s Richie’s Ramones poster, and that’s his bag. But it’s so—

Bill stopped as he finally noticed the uneven footsteps. “R-Richie, since when—” Bill started, turning around to find a sopping wet, stark naked Trashmouth. The dripping boy shrieked.

“Fuck! What?” His hands shot to his crotch to keep at least some of his dignity as he leapt behind the door frame. Bill turned away, overwhelmed by the embarrassment of the situation, but not before catching a full view of the surprisingly smooth ass of which he had so often fantasized. Hell, the ass to which he had so often stroked himself.

“Fuck a duck, Bill! You can’t just waltz into a guys room without a warning or something,” Richie’s frayed voice ricocheted off the walls. “I could’ve been— well, shit, I am naked. “

“I’m s-s-s-sorry R-R-R-R—” The shock of his crush suddenly appearing in the buff decimated Bill’s ability to form any intelligent sound. He sputtered and squeaked as much of an apology as he could muster.

“Alright, Bill. It’s ok,” Richie sighed, “No need to short circuit.”

“D-d-d-didn’t w-want to b-b-be late,” he managed despite his erratic gasping.

“Just hand me a towel or something, will ya?”

Bill glanced around and spotted a dingy towel neatly folded on the dresser. “You t-t-took a shower witho-out a towel?”

“I forgot, ok? Forgive me for thinking I could walk to my room naked in my own house, you peeping Tom.” The lighthearted humor had found its way back into Richie’s voice. Bill barely noticed as he vehemently tried to deny the playful accusation. Amidst his stuttered apologies, Richie grabbed the towel and made a dash for the closet. Bill pivoted to face the wall, trying to give him some privacy, but the grating temptation of another peek overran his morality. In a sly glance over his shoulder, Bill caught one last glance of his ghostly pale ass disappearing into a pair of black slacks. Richie turned, slipping his arms into his shirt, and Bill flung his face forward hard enough to twist a kink into his neck. His eyes slammed shut. He thought he was caught for sure. Richie would know the dirty thoughts in Bill’s mind. He would be disgusted, because of course this wasn’t a date-date. He just wanted to watch a movie with his friend. Now he was going to yell, and kick Bill out and never speak to him again and—

“Dude, there’s no firing squad. You don’t have to stand with your nose to the wall.” Bill turned, astonished that Richie hadn’t noticed Bill watching him get dressed. “R-r-right…”

As exhilarating as seeing Richie’s bare skin had been, the image of Trashmouth Tozier standing before him in fitted slacks, damp hair, and a forest green dress shirt with the first few buttons undone sent lightning through Bill’s entire system like a defibrillator to the heart and the groin. He always found Richie cute, but this…this Richie was fucking hot. Dammit, Bill. You need to bring your ‘A’ game.

“Y-y-your pants don’t have a-any holes in them.”

Smooth, Bill.

“Not all my pants are ripped, dude. I can dress nice when I want to, you know.” He turned a lazy twirl showing off his outfit. Bill couldn’t handle the sensual allure dripping from this usually obnoxiously dressed boy.

“S-s-so why do you w-want to n-now?”

Richie’s face burned red, and his eyes drifted anywhere that wasn’t Bill. “Well, it’s…it’s movie night, and I just wanted to…” Bill felt his own cheeks warm and made his way to sit carefully made bed. His fingers traced little patterns along the stitching of the comforter.

“Is that also w-why you cleaned your r-r-room too? For m-movie night?” Did you do all this for me?

“Yeah. No big deal,” he answered, attempting to sound nonchalant. “Just figured you’d prefer a place to sit for a few hours that wasn’t covered in moldy socks and pics of Eddie’s mom in lingerie.” Bill feigned an exaggerated gagging noise, which quickly devolved into infatuated laughter. “S-shut up, and let’s s-start the first m-movie already.”

As he watched the boy with the wild hair and the cute backside dig through his bag for their movie rentals, Bill thought to himself about Eddie’s earlier comment. Not only had Richie dressed up for him, which is a rare feat in itself, but he had fixed up his entire room, just for him. Just for Bill. Yeah, Eddie might have been wrong after all. If so, this night could be one of the best nights of his life.

[hamletkin]

I want to talk about Jim Hopper and it’s my blog and I will talk about him!!!

Season one and Season two Hopper were peak Hopper! That is a GOOD, GOOD character. I am loathe to give the idiot brothers credit for him, he’s that good. I think a lot of this comes from David Harbour and how much love and detail and emotion he puts into Hopper but I guess there was some good writing too. I’m too salty to give them more than that and you can take that with a GRAIN OF MY SALT. 

Anyway, I miss the Hopper who wrote the letter in season 3. That was season 1 Hopper. That was the Hopper who loved his daughter more than the world, the Hopper who still wears her hair tie on his wrist, the Hopper who risked his career and his life to save a missing boy and protect him and his family! Hopper has never been the BIG JEALOUS SCREAMING MAN that he was written as in season 3!! He’s jut not. That’s stupid. 

Hopper raises his voice so few times in season 1!!! SO FEW. And season 3 he’s suddenly screaming left and right, he’s lying to the people he loves, he’s threatening a CHILD!!!!! so badly that he’s afraid for his life (and it’s played off as comedy), he berates Joyce for talking to other men, belittles Joyce, calls her crazy!!! And it’s all played for laughs and, disgustingly enough, romantic purposes!! It’s all some big joke and it’s not funny. This is a common 80s archetype! It’s a common trope to have two people bickering become lovers but that’s never been Hopper’s character and it’s certainly never been part of Hopper and Joyce’s relationship to that extent! 

Here’s where I say I do ship Jopper, or rather I ship my own...AU version of them where season 3 Hopper and Joyce don’t exist within whatever narrative that they were forced into and I’m full of joy. 

And here’s the part where I admit that it’s almost 5am, I’m half asleep, I’ve cried 5 times in the past 3 hours, and I’m full of feelings I can’t quite explain so if this is all a mess well...tbh I expect nothing else and you shouldn’t either at this point, dear reader. Here are the sparknotes: 

1. Jopper. Platonic or romantic! Jopper worked because of their relationship. How about a little trust? They trust one another and they’re there for each other now out of an earlier spawned friendship that has become something more. (Be that BFFS or lovers whatever you want I don’t care) They’ve always had disagreements but they’ve never stemmed from Joyce speaking to other men (Hopper may have ribbed her about Bob but he never screamed at her for talking to him. He never, ever showed signs of being this aggressive or possessive and it’s frankly disgusting!!! That in 2016-2020-whatever we’re still being fed this archetype as a character we’re supposed to root for!! I won’t do it, I just won’t. It’s not Hopper as he was. Do you expect me to believe his personality did this 360 because...what? He has a teenage daughter? No. Not gonna fall for that, chief. He’s been gentle with Joyce, patient and after all she’s been through she deserves that!! She deserves someone who will just be there for her and I wanted him to be that person! I wanted them to overcome together. Because they’ve been through hell. But then you have lines about her needing to get over it?? Bob died approximately 8 months ago, her husband was abusive towards her and her sons, Will was kidnapped and then possessed, Jonathan has suffered through all of it and Joyce has held it all together as best she can. She finally reached out and the Duffer Brothers decided that women aren’t allowed to be happy and Bob was killed in front of her and we have Hopper saying “God forbid we move on” or whatever I can’t be assed to look that up it’s 5am I’m not going to. Like, Hopper would never, you’re wrong. I miss the Hopper who argued stupid things with Joyce but who treated her with some fucking respect. I’m soft for him on the ground beside her at all times or just holding her like give me my man back. Give me him. 

2. Eleven. Hopper and Eleven have always had a weird relationship. She’s been through so much it’s too be expected and I loved how they interacted! Even when they’re fighting! But him doing something so gross and underhanded as threatening Mike like he did after freaking him out!!!! over his grandma!!! was wrong. Watching this with several audiences I’ve noticed that the people who found this funny were, in fact, Boomer dads with daughters who no doubt relate to this archetype. They’re also white republicans who hate when you talk about taking away their guns so go off, I guess. No but what I’m trying to say is that I think this Hopper was clearly written for another generation. This Hopper was written to appease Boomers who already loved him so I don’t really know why the change was necessary but it happened. And I’m so mad I’m full of vegan eggs because that’s what I had for dinner I hate eggs, fun fact I’m not vegan. I would have loved to see Hopper be a dad to Eleven, to see more of their relationship growing instead of...whatever we got. The season was really all over the place. A mess. 0/10 3. What. I’m so tired but I wanted to make my points before I pass out and forget them!! Hopper’s sudden rage is so confusing?? Like he’s just mad...all the time. Which, again, I think plays into that whole 80s dad-boy. Like a bad boy but a dad. I’m trademarking that. It was like he was changed to fit the narrative rather than him growing to fit it, rather than there being any reason for the change and it kills me because he was on such a good path. He was growing and they took him and shoved him into a pit that he may never crawl out of. It left me hoping that Hopper was really dead at the end and that killed me. Because I’ve spent all this time loving him and now I just...don’t. And it’s not like it was good writing to make me dislike a character so far as them being a villain or bad within the narrative. They just made me wish he would die so I wouldn’t have to deal with another aggressive angry man who tried to intimidate everyone into getting what he wanted as a protagonist. Maybe that’s because men like that are among my biggest fears and I’ve been treated how he treats people before by men like season 3 Hopper. I can’t laugh or enjoy him because I’ve seen people like him doing those things and I know it’s dangerous. And also because it’s not Hopper. I know Hopper has never been a “by the book” guy! He’s a rule breaker, he IS violent but it’s always been for a greater good. I’m not saying that’s a GOOD thing but it worked within the story. He one punched the bad guys and we were on his side. Now he’s just...screaming in the face of his allies, he’s hurting them and we see them react...positively for the most part. Sure we have Joyce shouting at him but the whole narrative is that she’s falling for him, that she’ll end up with him no matter how he treats her because that’s love. And it hurts to see him reduced to that. 

In conclusion, I love Hopper. Or rather, I love the Hopper in my head that exists in a place where Stranger Things was cancelled after season 2. I’m just sad and emotional and I don’t understand why this was ever a thing that needed to happen. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

*Following the trend and re-taking and responding to my very first survey on here from December 2014...SIX years ago!*

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Sigh. Very much so. <<< Wow, that was when I was all in love Joseph. I’ve long since moved on. 

What did you do yesterday? I’ve been on break for the past week and I can honestly say I haven’t really done anything. It’s been kinda nice. <<< Back when I was in school and doing something with my life and had breaks to look forward to. Now I’ve been on break since 2015 and doing absolutely nothing. Anyway, yesterday I slept in past 3PM, had my coffee, checked social medias, played Animal Crossing, watched a few episodes of The Gilmore Girls, had dinner and chilled with my mom the rest of the night while watching another special on the ID channel (they’re doing a different one every night all this week).

Something you really want right now? Hmm. I don’t really want anything at this exact moment. <<< I’d love for this hot, gross, miserable weather to go away and to just fast forward to autumn.

What were you doing an hour ago? Making this side blog. <<< Awww, can’t believe I’ve had it for six years now. An hour ago I was scrolling through Tumblr and listening to ASMR.

If you could seek revenge on someone would you? Nahh. I’m not revengeful. <<< Yeah, I’ve never been a vengeful person.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? Nope. <<< Yes.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? Sighhhh. It’s been like two years since I’ve kissed anyone. I feel so deprived of any affection. The situation with me and ~him is complicated. Isn’t it always? <<< Ohhh boy, it most certainly was. Ha, if I felt deprived then imagine six years later.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Yep. Right this very second. I more than like him at this point, but like I said. It’s complicated. <<< It was such a mess. I don’t know why I allowed it to go on as long as it did. :/ I should have known nothing was going to change. Since that time with Joseph, I fell in love with Ty and I thought that was actually going to lead to something, but surprise, surprise it did not.

Would you ever get a tattoo? I want to. I’m just a big ol’ baby. <<< Yep, still am. I highly doubt I’ll ever get it done.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? HA. That’s funny. <<< *Spongebob transition thing: Six. Years. Later.* Still single!

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Uhh. Probs my mom yesterday when she called from work. <<< My mom yesterday when she called from the store.

Who was the last person you talked to in person? My brother. <<< Yep.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Coffee with Amanda. Maybe get some more Christmas shopping done. Hopefully! <<< Omggg, back when I had friends and actually did stuff! ha. And aww, Christmas shopping. Wow, going out and doing things back when we weren’t going through a worldwide pandemic. Presently, I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.  

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? Not recently, but yes a friendship has ended that I wish had not. <<< All my friendships ended a few years ago...

What are you listening to right now? Hey Arnold. <<< An ASMR video.

What happened at 9:00 am today? It hasn’t been 9am yet, but I imagine my ass will be on the couch scrolling through Tumblr and watching tv. Exciting stuff, guys. <<< Ha, you won’t catch my ass up at 9AM anymore. I’ll be sleeping.

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes. I put my heart on the line and they walked away. Awesome. <<< Yepppp. Twice.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Nooo. <<< Just on the cheek.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? Nah. We don’t talk, but there’s no hard feelings. <<< Same.

What are you afraid of? Life. Death. <<< That sums it up quite well. Short and precise. 

When was the last time you were sick? Always. <<< True. I’ve also been getting this gross nauseous feeling that comes and goes that hits at random. As for a virus or something of that sort, I had a cold back in April.

Are you one of those people who are always cold? No. Although, I am right now. <<< Nooo, definitely not. I’m someone who seems to be hot a lot of the time. Like now. I wish I was cold. 

Where are your biological parents? In their room. Sleeping. <<< That’s where they are now, too. I swear they haven’t been there since then. ha.

Do you have any summer plans yet? I wish. It’s still awhile away, though. It could change. <<< There won’t be any summer plans this year.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? On food. Always. <<< I don’t spend much on food anymore, actually. I’ve gotten better about my online shopping, too. I’ve been better at saving money these days than I used to be.

Last thing that you said out loud? “Goodnight, Jon.” <<< “Goodnight.” I’ve pretty much always done my surveys at night, so.

Do you have trust issues? It’s not really trust issues. I just have a hard time opening up in general. <<< Still have that problem. I keep a lot to myself. I’m not at all open like I am on here.

Do you think this year will be better than the last? This year is just about over, which is crazy. I always hope the next year will be better, but there’s always something. <<< Omg. This survey was done in 2014. The next year I graduated UC and shortly after that is when things started going downhill. :/

What are you doing? This pretty much. My tv is on, but it’s background noise. <<< Same, but I’m also listening to an ASMR video.

Are you a jealous person? Yes, but not like psycho jealous. You probably wouldn’t even know it. <<< Yeah. I haven’t felt jealous in a longgg time, though.

Do you think age matters in relationships? Well, yes. To an extent. <<< Yep.

When was the last time you got a haircut? I think maybe back in July. Or a little before then. I’m trying to grow out my hair now. I’m over short hair. <<< My hair was so short then, but now it’s down to my butt! I just got a couple inches cut off back in February.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed? Tons of people. <<< Yep.

Who is the last person you rode in a car with? Mom & brother. <<< My brother.

What is one thing you’d love to happen tomorrow? I’d like to get more Christmas shopping done. My plans for that are still up in the air. I can’t believe Christmas is already next week like wth??? That went by SO FAST. <<< Uhhh, perhaps get Wingstop for dinner.

Did you sing at all today? Yes. <<< Not so far.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? My mom. <<< Yeah, that hasn’t changed.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? In bed asleep. <<< Right here in bed, probably reading for a bit.

Are there any stressful situations in your life? A few. <<< A lot.

Are your lips chapped at the moment? Nope I’m good thanks for asking. <<< Ugh, yes. I keep licking them because I have fans blowing on me all day.

When you met the person you now love, what happened?: Uh well we met through a mutual. Nothing happened right away. He pursued me first after awhile, but I wasn’t interested initially. Boy did that change. <<< I don’t understand why he did that. He was never interested in really pursuing anything with me, but sure made me think that and I fell for him. He knew how I felt about him and he kept playing me. ANYWAY, I don’t currently love anyone in the romantic sense.

Did you realize anything today?: No, but it’s early. <<< Not so far.

What do you need right now?: Sleep probably. <<< Yeah, I definitely need that.

What’s your favorite food?: Mongolian BBQ. <<< Man, I was obSESSED with Mongolian BBQ for the longest. I miss that. D: I can’t eat spicy food anymore, sadly. Ugh, it was SO good. My favorite food now is garlic parm and lemon pepper wings from Wingstop.

How are you feeling today?: Just kind of whatever. It’s 1 in the morning. <<< Hot and tired and blah.

What is your biggest fear?: Life and death. <<< We went over this already in this survey...

Describe your looks to us: Ugly? Ha. I don’t know. Look at my avatar. <<< Yeah, look at my avatar. 

Have you ever woke up next to someone and wanted to puke? UH no I can honestly say I have not. <<< Nope, thankfully.

What are you listening to right now? Degrassi. <<< An ASMR video still. 

Are you afraid of death? Very. <<< Yes.

Do you open up to people easily? No. It takes a lot. <<< I’m still that way. Even people I’m close with I still struggle with that.

Do you miss anyone? So very much. <<< There’s always a few loved ones I’ll miss that have passed away.

What are you going to do tomorrow? I feel like I’ve been asked this a billion times. <<< For real, we’ve been over this. 

Does any part of your body hurt right now? Noooo. <<< Yes.

[neo-culture-mafia]

Glory of Neo Culture

What was this all for? Saying goodbye to your family...for this? Drowning away college days for motorcycles and guns? Throwing away any chance of having a future; not to mention a future with a significant other. You had 21 brothers who were your ride or die, leaving you hopeless with the possibility of running away for they had a team on every continent ready to look out for you, but never leave you alone. 

Life was uneasy and it was a daily hassle to get up and go to training -- but you were still there laying people on their asses. You needed a release from something and it never came as a clear answer. It was always hidden within one of the boys. 

When you had a hard time looking over a small group of students, Taeyong was there to show you how to make yourself known. He was your all-time role model and it made you happy that he gave a damn about people, compared to some of the other mafia leaders of this world. “Make yourself bigger than you really are and get mad. They’re not gonna listen to a little pip-squeak with a small voice who is always nice.” He said lightly flicking your forehead. You nodded and waited for his next direction. He went over and sat leisurely at the edge of his desk. “Alright, now get angry.” 

With Taeil, you never had a frowning moment -- even when you thought you were alone. When you had a secret relationship with a boy on the outside he knew about it. He also knew when it fell through and you were crushed but never let anyone inside your bubble. He was there with a cup of tea and a shoulder to cry on, without letting your secret get to any of the other boys. You didn’t even know he was sitting inside your closet. You just heard a thud and a curse before Taeil popped out with 2 cups of tea in hand and a package of your favorite cookies. He sighed as he set them down; grabbing a bunch of tissues from your dresser. He shook his head as he came over and wiped your tears. “Men are pigs.” 

Johnny looked at you as a younger sibling. He always played around with you on the daily. He made you fight for yourself, even when you thought you couldn’t do it on your own. When the tin roof of the bomb shed was blown off, Taeyong sent you two to go fix it. Johnny put you in charge of lifting the roof off the ground; the jagged metal posing a threat to your soft palms of flesh. He watched you struggle and groan at the tough task; denying you any help even when you were pleading. Finally, his denial pissed you off and you managed to lift the whole roof onto the side of the shed. He was standing right there, ready to give you a hug. He was a man with ways of teaching lessons. “You don’t know how strong you are till you need to be. Then you just have to find the things that make you ten times stronger.” 

Yuta never came around much from Japan to be lovey-dovey towards you, yet you knew he still cared. When you choked during a mission and everyone was mad at you on return, he was the first one to call you just to make sure you were alright. “Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.” You said ripping your jacket off and throwing it on the ground in frustration. You were throwing a temper tantrum behind the privacy of closed doors, even though you were in the mood where you didn’t care if anyone else saw. “I’m so fucking stupid. I just had to fucking pull a damn stupid trigger.” You said punching your bed over and over again. The intercom buzzed on your wall next to the door. You groaned loudly and marched over, accepting the call. “Hello?!” You asked after a couple seconds of silence. “Hey. It’s Yuta.” He said and you just froze, crumpling into a ball underneath the intercom. “Listen...I know everyone is probably pissed at you...but I just wanted to say that I am super proud of you.” He said and you could feel the tears pool in your eyes. “Thank you.” You mumbled, bringing your knees to your chest. “Just know that everyone makes mistakes. It will be okay...You did good, kid.” 

Kun was like a dad. Whether it was in person while he was in Korea, or when it was over Skype when he was in China; he always talked to you and made sure you had enough to eat at dinner and you drank enough water when you woke up every morning. He also made sure you had someone to go to for anything: cuts, bruises, or maybe just ranting about the most random topics till 2 in the morning. “So I told Jess, you use the sniper for long range instead of an automatic.” You shook your head. He shook his head too, throwing his hands into the air. “Unbelievable.” He scoffed. “I know right! It’s common sense!” You exclaimed and he laughed at your cute expression to your story. “I swear, I’m in training with a bunch of morons.” You shook your head, grabbing your drink Kun had made for you. “You couldn’t have said it more perfect.” He said grabbing his drink and clinking it with yours.

Every single Thursday, you met Doyoung for your usual gossip session. You would both walk to the same coffee shop about 2 blocks away, and make the afternoon free for each other. “Did you hear about the 2 new students in tier 6?” You asked as your drinks were delivered. He sat back in the chair, sipping his cold coffee. “Spill the tea.” He said as you began. “They were caught making out in the locker rooms after training. Mark was pissed, even though Jaemin found them smooching on each other.” You said and he grew a disgusted face while you nodded, confirming the story. “They both got toilet duty for 2 weeks and permanently moved dorms.” You said and he rolled his eyes. “That’s super disgusting. But you know what’s more disgusting? The outfit that Taeyong wore to the Asiatic Leaders meeting last week, like, all he has to do is ask for my help.” 

Ten and you were like besties who never separated from each other. He always confided in you about some of the students he taught. You always went him to learn new ways to take the boys down when they were annoying you. So, when he was told he was being relocated to China; you were the first person he told. You both were a mess as you both held each other the night before his plane left with Kun and Lucas where they would join Winwin’s team. “This isn’t fair.” You cried as you hugged him tighter. “I know, nothing is fair anymore.” He sighed, rubbing your back. “Who am I going to go shopping with? Who am I supposed to go see the new romance movie with? We...we...that was our thing...we would sit there and laugh the who-whole time at the stu-stupid couples.” You cried and he just held you more. “I know. I’m not dying. I’m just, moving.” He said and you just groaned. “You still aren’t here.” You countered back. He just sighed but held you tighter if that was any way possible. “I am, you just have to look real hard. I’m always here.”

Jaehyun was like your dumb older brother even though he was highly intelligent. He would be the type to use you as an armrest, and ‘lose’ his balance, making you both tumble to the ground. He was still very protective like a usual older brother. You were on the way to the usual gossip session where Doyoung was already waiting. You walked through the lobby to the main gate and Jaehyun was walking through, eating some cereal. “Woah woah woah. Where do you think you are going, dressed like that?” He asked, motioning to your outfit with his spoon. “Going to meet Doyoung?” You questioned looking at your own outfit. It was what you usually wore. “Well, you should dress like it.” He said as he set his food down, taking his flannel off and throwing it on you. “Now...just button it...all the way to the top. And...wear a hat-” “Jae, it’s July.”

You and Winwin had a good relationship even though you were both stationed in 2 different countries. He would help with anything he could, whether it was with homework or it was figuring out how to fix your laptop over the phone. “Okay, just one more question.” You said and he hummed in agreement. “A bullet is shot from 15 feet away and reaches the target in 2.6 seconds. What type of gun is it?” You asked and you thought to yourself. All you heard was a loud bang from the other side of the phone. “Winwin?!” You called, your worry coming over. “Well, I can tell you for certain that it isn’t a Glock.” He said and you groaned. “You’re not supposed to shoot your men!” You said from your side of the phone. “Hey! I was helping you with your homework!” 

Jungwoo makes your sides hurt whenever you see him. Always making you laugh and forget about the situations that made you want to curl up and sleep the day away. You were sitting on your bed, playing with your fingers because you just couldn’t fathom being by yourself. Your thoughts always got the best of you when you were alone. Your door busted open and you jumped. There stood what you presumed to be Jungwoo. His whole arms were filled with blankets and snacks. “We just got Easy A on DVD, and I need a movie buddy.” He mumbled behind the fluffy blankets in front of his face. You chuckled as you ran over and helped him drop the stuff neatly onto the floor. You both spent the whole night chilling and watching romantic comedies while complaining about your single lives. 

You never had a dull moment with Lucas. He was just there in the background to make you laugh. You were all sitting in a serious meeting where you were negotiating with a Japanese triad that was looking for land in Korea. You sat next to Lucas with more members lining both sides of you. The curtain was dropped and you were all met with more men on the other side of the room. You all did greetings and then sat back down. Yet, Lucas kept rubbing his teeth with his finger. You kept bumping him with your elbow, telling him to knock it off and he was being rude. “That thing.” He mumbled, picking at his front tooth, staring at the other mafia boss. You concentrated on the boss and realized he had a piece of seaweed on his front tooth. You had to cough a little to suppress your small giggle. Lucas kept rubbing his teeth, making it harder for you to keep your composure. You both lost it when the leader laughed and the food flew onto the table in front of him. Lucas maintained a horrified expression as he began to point at the piece of food. You grabbed his hand and put it back down as he couldn’t help but stare at it more. You both got in trouble for being ‘rude’.

Mark was actually the one who needed you. He deemed himself as an outcast to some of the new students. He would come to you in embarrassment just to have you tell him there was nothing to be afraid of. You were making yourself a quick snack in the Junior Forces dorm. You grabbed the knife to cut the sandwich when you felt a hand on your shoulder. The hand was pulled so your grip with the knife was next to the person's neck. Yet, your weapon hand was grabbed and pinned behind your back, while the other person’s arm held your back to their chest so you couldn’t move. You looked up, seeing the familiar deep brown eyes. “Oh...uh...hi.” You said as he let you go. He put distance between the two of you. “Hey...I need help.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck. “With...?” You asked and he sighed. “How do I talk to the new students? They’re all so young and cool and I’m -” “Old?” You cut him off and he furrowed his eyebrows. “I was gonna say boring...but gee...thanks.” 

You were in China because Taeyong thought you were at high-risk as you were the only girl in the main unit. A huge rival gang that was known for doing things to young girls were going around and following you. So, to throw them off, Taeyong sent you to stay with Winwin and Kun for a while. You were welcomed with open arms from everyone...except the boy from the end of the hall that always had his nose crammed in a book or in his computer. Everyone tried to tell you Xiaojun was an awesome person to be around, you just had to be in the right place at the right time. So when it was during your midnight snack run, it was a shock that was a good one. You walked into the dimly lit kitchen as you were greeted with the fridge and cupboards. You poured yourself a glass of milk and sat with the Oreo package at the island as you texted everyone back home in Seoul. “You’re quite oblivious of your surroundings, you know that right?” A new voice made you jump. “Hello?” You questioned looking around in the darkness. The lights flicked on above your head and you were greeted with Xiaojun who had been standing across from you the whole time. You both stared at each other, trying to figure out what the other was going to say first. “You have good taste in late night snacks though. I’m impressed.” He chuckled motioning to your snack. You looked over to his and saw the exact same thing was in front of him. You smiled a little. “Well, I guess great minds think alike.” 

Hendery kept you on your feet. Whether it was having random dance breaks in between training sessions, or even in the middle of mission run-throughs. You both got each other when everyone else thought you were weird. He was also the only one who could deal with your sass on a daily basis. “Hendery, donkey looking, pink-loving headass.” You said coming behind him and hitting him upside the head. “Yo. Not cool.” He flicked your forehead. You both started pushing each other, alarming the other members. “Hey! Break it up!” Ten said pushing you two away from each other. “You gonna make me go crazy.” You said, puffing your chest out. “Come at me, short stack.” He said and you both ducked under Ten’s arms. People yelled and tried to grab both of you, but it was too late. What was about to come next was never expected by anyone. You both laid down on your stomachs and got into an intense session of rock, paper, scissors. You were victorious and got up to parade around the room while he laid their defeated. 

You found quality and peace in Renjun’s silence. You both would sit there and do something so domestic, yet you both understood it was needed. You both sat there and sketched your respective drawings, sometimes showing the other to gain feedback. The other boys would try and crash the peace; especially Chenle and Jisung. “Y/N, do you hear something?” he would ask after so many minutes of the 2 children trying to get both of your attention. You listened to the whines and pleas for the 2 boys to answer them. You shook your head, looking at the smirking Renjun. “No, I don’t hear anything. Must be the wind?” You questioned and he nodded, both of you returning to previous activities. The said pests eventually gave up and left. Renjun scooted closer and gave you a fist bump. He chuckled and shook his head. “No one has played along in the past 2 weeks.” 

Jeno was the main man you would go to when you had problems with another student or member. Ever since he became a full member of the 127 Unit, he took up some classes so he could teach his practice to aspiring students of the Neo Culture compound. “Jeno.” You said, walking into his empty classroom. He stood, writing something on the chalkboard as various glasses and beakers boiled behind him. “Hello, Miss. Thang.” He winked as he set his book down. You rolled your eyes as you walked behind his desk. “I’ve been having trouble with one of your students.” You sighed, crossing your arms. “And...what would you like me to do about it?” He asked as he flipped through the pages of his textbook. “Talk to him or something. Just, do something.” You grew frustrated. “Woah, calm down. What’s up?” He asked, putting his hand on your waist. It didn’t mean anything, he did it to most people. You saw a flash and looked over to the doorway where the student stood there with their cell phone out and pointed towards you. “That!” You yelled pointing to the kid who began to run down the hall. Jeno wasted no time in running after him out of the door in his classroom. He cut the kid off and grabbed the collar of the boy’s shirt. You followed out as Jeno grabbed the phone of the boy. “Unlock it. Now.” Jeno said. “It’s my phon-” “Wrong, we provided you with this phone. Unlock it. Now. I don’t repeat myself.” Jeno said and the boy quickly unlocked it. The camera roll was filled with pictures of you with various members. Yet, the photos were edited to make it look like it something it wasn’t. “Did you have her permission to capture these?” Was all Jeno asked. The boy slowly shook his head ‘no’. “Maybe you’ll learn some respect after this.” He said with a wicked smile and the phone was thrown onto the concrete where it shattered into what seemed like a million little pieces. “Let’s go.” Jeno guided you back to his classroom while the boy cried on the ground where his phone now laid, broken beyond repair.

He was an older brother figure that was always overprotective much like the others. He just knew how to take it to the next level though. You walked into the class you would be teaching. You would be teaching new students about the subject of disguise makeup. You worked alongside Donghyuck, where he would teach the students how to act on decoy missions and creating a real backstory on the spot and what to do when missions go wrong, while you teach them about meltable prosthetics and hideable wigs and makeup, along with concealing weapons. It was the first day and you barely got past your introduction before the door opened to Donghyuck in a pair of sunglasses and a floppy hat; his neck adorned in a feathery scarf. “Hello. Sorry I am late for the first day.” He spoke in a high voice, trying to sit in an empty seat. “Yah, get out. I’m trying to teach.” You chuckled along with the class as he put his purse on the desk, pulling out a compact. “Excuse you, but you do not know me. Don’t use informalities.” He said in a posh voice, throwing his scarf over his shoulder more. The class laughed, but you were getting more impatient. “Yes, I do know you. You’re Mr. Lee who teaches next door. Next door, where you’re supposed to be. Not in my classroom where I currently have a class.” You said and he sighed. “How are you so sure it’s me?” He asked, forgetting to use his girly voice. “Well, 1) You must’ve hit puberty rather quickly because you voice dropped in a record time and 2) Your member tattoo is showing.” You motioned to his forearm where a tattoo sleeve was not hidden. He cursed under his breath and took off his ‘disguise’. “Alright, you got me.” He said standing up and putting his regular glasses on. “I just wanted to make sure to come and help introduce you properly.” He said coming over and putting an arm around your shoulder. “I also wanted to mention that if any of your students misbehave, I have some gym socks that need some hand washing.” He said and everyone pulled their chair in closer, sitting up more straight. “Thank you...now get out.” 

Your late night rendezvous with Jaemin always surprised you. Whether it was burning down an old barn to sitting in his bed and listening to some music, some nights were reserved especially for him. You both laid in the bed of his truck, random music playing over the radio. You both had been driving around the whole night where you talked about the things you couldn’t say to other members. “Listen...I want to say something and I don’t want you to get weird about it.” He sighed and you just looked at him. You knew he didn’t want to look at you in fear of something. You turned your head back to the night sky. “Shoot.” You said and he sighed. “I really...appreciate you? I’m not good with feelings and especially the concept of family...but you just make everything easier. I don’t need to be completely self-destructive when I’m with you. You just...get me and it-it makes me feel like I’m not alone anymore.” You looked over and saw his eyes closed, yet they shook as the fluid built up behind them. You didn’t say anything and just hugged him as that’s all you could do. It seemed like the only logical thing at the moment. You weren’t good with feelings either, and he understood that. You both just needed to be here at the moment. 

Yangyang was one of those special cases where you both hated each other until you realized you were both stronger together. You both competed in China while you were staying. You both spoke many languages so you tried to confuse each other by speaking some that the other couldn’t understand. You both were super active and hyper, making you and him race each other at training. It wouldn’t start as a race, but it would turn into who could finish warm-up first. But one night, he heard you get emotional behind your bedroom door. He wanted so badly to open the door and tease you for crying until he learned the context. “What-what do you mean I can’t come back?” You whined and he felt your pain. He moved around as a kid and all he wanted to do was go ‘home’...but he didn’t know where ‘home’ was exactly. Now it was him and the guys. “But I’ve been here for so long.” You sighed, and he could hear the desperation in your voice. “Ok. Fine. It’s whatever. I’ll talk to you later, Tae.” He heard a couple sniffles and the door opened to your puffy eyes and face. You both just stood there and looked at each other for a couple seconds. “What?” You asked and he just shrugged. You walked past him, and usually, he would push you into the wall playfully, but now he knew that you needed someone. He followed you to the bathroom like a lost puppy while you threw cold water on your face. You patted your face and looked at him. “What do you want, Yang?” You asked looking at him, not really in the mood to play around. Yang yang looked down at his 2 ice cream sandwiches that he was going to eat in front of Xiaojun to make him angry. “Here.” He said pushing one of the desserts into your hands. “I know what it’s like to want to go home. And I know the feeling of not being able to. Just...find me if you need to talk...” He said and you just nodded, smiling to yourself. “Also, I’m sorry for being a jerk. I just wanted to tease you a bit...but I let it get out of hand.” he said. You forgave him. He smiled at you before running back to his room like the nervous dork he usually was. 

The darkest days could be turned upside down by your favorite dolphin companion, Chenle. You both were the pranksters in the compound. You filled Jaemin’s hair dryer with flour and replaced Jeno’s favorite cat socks with baby socks to freak him out. You both sat outside of Jaehyun’s bathroom. The water turned off and it wasn’t long before you both were met with the screams of your older. You both snuck back down the hall where you both erupted in laughter. He stormed down the hallways, purple hair dye running down the back of his neck. He totally missed you and Chenle as he marched into Taeyong’s office, where he was already waiting for his grape headed co-worker. In fact, it was Taeyong’s idea...but you and Chenle carried it out. Some students gathered to see Jaehyun look red as a tomato in the face and purple as a grape in his hair. You and Chenle high-five each other as you both ran to the post office to mail a box of fruit to Ten in China. 

Jisung just wanted someone to take him seriously. He wanted someone to have a decent conversation with without being brushed off as an annoying kid. He was wise beyond his years and you were the only to seem and get that. “So I was thinking, with the misso-” “Nah. Won’t work. Just go back to coloring or something.” One of the new members said, flicking Jisung’s notebook towards him. “Oh...okay.” Jisung nodded. The older boys got up, leaving Jisung alone and feeling embarrassed for even trying. You quickly got up, walking over and sitting down next to him. “I want to hear.” You said and his eyes lit up, but they were masked with the fear of rejection. “No. It’s okay. You probably have to get ready soo-” “Jisung. I want to see. Really.” You said and the look on his face was priceless and incomparable to anything you had ever seen before. He nodded, opening his notebook again to the diagram he drew up. “Okay, so the huge mission coming up...instead of doing an on-ground attack...how about an air-attack? We’d hit them in their weakest point. They’re already expecting something on the ground--so we should surprise them.” Jisung said you and you sat there, silently. The smile on his face slowly but visibly fell. His hands rubbed against his jeans as the fear of rejection began setting in. “But also, it’s a really dumb idea. I was just thi-” “That’s an amazing idea, Jisung. I’m just pissed that no one thought of it before.” And the smile was the widest you had ever seen on that boy’s face. 

But if this is what you treasure and hold so close...why are you running? Why did you pack your bags in secret a month before you left? Why did you tell Jisung that you and he could go get ice cream next Sunday if you knew you wouldn’t be here? Why tell Jungwoo that you would go see the new romantic movie this Friday if you didn’t plan on staying here for the next 24 hours?

Why?

Out of all the love...all of it...why leave? You were safe. The boys would go through hell and back to get you what you needed because they understood you better than anyone could. 

So as you packed your bag and grabbed your keys, you told Taeil that you were going to pick up more milk. Yet, they all knew your plans. They already had posts set up to bring you home if you wanted to. The boys understood you needed space, and time. You just needed an escape from reality. Yuta flew in men just to put up more post and protection. Kun and Winwin were on the edge of their seats, waiting for the call to say you left Korea and were on your way to China. Ten is in Thailand, just for the crazy chance you chose to run off to his homeland. Lucas is back in Hong Kong for the same reason Ten is in Thailand. Johnny left 3 hours ago for his plane back to Chicago. Mark left right after you did for his plane back to Canada. Renjun and Chenle are split up in China, just to make sure that if you got over -- you would be safe and looked after. Yangyang is in Germany again, covering Europe for the unlikely chance you run to Europe for a safe haven. 

Taeil gulped down his water as he watched you roar your bike to life and looked back at the compound. Taeyong popped up next to him. “She’ll be back. It’ll be okay.” Taeil nodded to calm the buzzing anxiety of their leader. 

You were running to Europe for a new start. You were now stuck in traffic and ready to get to the airport. Your earpiece beeped. You answered it, already knowing who it was. “Hey, Taeyong.” You sighed. “Hey.” He spoke quickly. 

“Listen...” he started off and you knew he knew about your plan. “...I understand that you need to do what you need to do...but we have someone on every continent ready to bring you home if you’re ready or you need help.” He said and your throat got dry. “Yeah?” Your voice cracked. “Yeah...” He trailed off. “...we will always be looking over you. Just remember we’re all a plane ride away.” He said and you nodded, sniffling some emotion back. “...we all love you, y/n...” He trailed off and you couldn’t help but cry a little. “I love you all too.” You cracked into your mic. 

“Just please remember we’re here...and we won’t forget about you.” Taeyong said and you nodded, humming in response. “Of course.” You mused. “Well it’s time for me to go.” you confessed and you heard a sharp intake of breath. “Of course, of course. Just remember to call regularly.” He said and you agreed. “Alright. See you later.” He said and you lost it. No one ever said ‘goodbye’ to each other in the unit because it meant forever. 

“See you later.” You said and he hung up. You were still stuck in traffic as you approached a tunnel. A car horn beeped behind you. You turned around to see Haechan and Jeno in a car, waving you to go ahead of traffic. 

You nodded and revved your engine as you quickly looked back at them. They looked like they were in pain as you nodded to them a ‘farewell’. They both jokingly blew you a kiss. You caught them and threw it in your pocket. You revved your engine and began swerving in and out of free spaces around cars. 

This was it...your family wasn’t going to give up on you...it was the glory they held within eachother...the glory of neo culture

...this is it...