#so happy he gets to live his caked out truth

[dirtd0g]

I don't know if you've seen the new buddy daddies pics from the next DVD release but *coughs*

(Source)

!! Caked Kazuki !!

He is flaunting that shit too

Caked and proud 😪

[dreamescapeswriting]

Birthday Surprise ~ BC & JJK

WORD COUNT: 1.9K

GENRE: established relationships, SMUT minors DNI or you will be blocked!!! Unprotected sex, birthday surprise, threesome,double penetration

PAIRING: Chan x reader x Jungkook

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

All day long you'd been wanting the day to hurry up and pass all you wanted was to be home with your boyfriend but you'd been forced to go to work, and on your birthday no less. Sighing to yourself you unlocked the front door to your shared home and walked inside, a wave of excitement washed over you. The house smelt amazing like someone was cooking and you could hear Chan laughing with someone and a smirk tugged up on your lips. Chan told you that he had something special planned for you but he hadn't told you any of the details, just that it was something you'd been wanting for a long time.

Which could have been many things but as you stepped further into the living room, your eyes widened in surprise. Chan was sitting on the sofa with Jungkook, one of his closest friends and you knew exactly what he was doing here as they both turned to face you. Big smiles on their faces and a twinkle of mischief in their eyes,

"Surprise!" They shouted in unison as you looked around the room, it was covered in balloons and decorations making it festive as you pouted a little. No one had ever gone through so much effort for you before and the action made your heart skip a beat,

"You guys! You did all this for me?" You whined as Chan stood up, walking over to you and hugging you tightly before placing a gentle kiss on your cheek.

"We wanted to make your birthday extra special," He said, winking down at you as you realised this was exactly what you thought it was.

A while ago during a drunken game of truth or dare Jungkook had mentioned that he had a small crush on you which had made Chan jealous at the time until he admitted he wanted a threesome with you. After a long talk with you the next day you and Chan had decided it would be something you both wanted to explore if you found the right person who turned out to be Jungkook.

"Happy Birthday! We've been planning this for weeks, we hope you like it." Jungkook said as he hugged you this time making you smile brightly at home taking you to the kitchen so you could all share a meal together.

The living room was transformed into a tiny celebration between the three of you, completely with a homemade meal and cake that was decorated with candles. The whole evening you were sharing stories about your time at work, snapping photos together and playing board games - of course, Jungkook won every single time. 

"We have one last present for you," Chan whispered in your ear, you were sitting on his lap when you felt your whole body burning up at the sudden attention from both men.

Jungkook and Chan had had a long and extensive talk about this weeks ago when he first went to him with the idea and Chan wanted this just as much as you did. Chan looked at Jungkook before nodding and watching as the man walked over to you and smirked.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered, still wanting to be a gentleman about this before you grasped his chin and kissed him softly. Chan smirked as he watched Jungkook's cheeks flush a bright red colour, your hands clutching onto Jungkook's sweater as you pulled him closer to you. You could feel Chan's cock twitch beneath you as you made out in front of him. 

"This is so hot," Chan mumbled before he began peppering light and sensual kisses from your jawline down to your collarbones. You let out a small whimper whenever he bit down on your skin, sucking softly as you ground your hips against him. Kissing Jungkook was so different to how you would kiss Chan, while Chan kissed like he was waltzing along a dancefloor with you, Jungkook kissed you like he was a winner in a fight and you were the prize.

Chan runs his fingers along your skin, pulling your top down until he can get a perfect view of your breasts and wastes no time latching onto your nipple.

A moan left your mouth forcing you to pull away from Jungkook who was smirking down at Chan,

"Someone is a little impatient," He chuckled but Chan smirked around your nipple, his other hand squeezing the other breast.

"Have you seen Yn's tits? How could I stay away?" He groans out, sucking on your nipple again and making your head roll back staring up at the ceiling. You were already in heaven from the attention.

"You're right, they're perfect," Was all you heard Jungkook say before you felt another mouth on your other breast, sucking harshly on your nipples making you cry out both their names. Your eyes screwed tightly shut as you ground against your boyfriend's hips, needing more than just their mouths on you.

"You're so desperate for this, do you want us both to fuck your greedy cunt?" Chan's demeanour switched as you whimpered.

"Y-Yes."

"I mean, it's her birthday. We should be spoiling her," Jungkook smirked as your body heated once again. 

"I want to watch you come apart for both of us, you'll do that for us right, angel?" Chan's nickname for you sounded like sin on his lips and you nodded frantically at him. Both of the men smirked at one another stripping off their clothes as you did the same, removing every bit of fabric until you were bare in front of them.

"Stunning," Chan whispered in complete awe of you, it didn't matter how many times he'd seen you naked before it was always a sight for him and he never wanted to look away.

"Beautiful," Jungkook whispered running his hands over the curves of your body making your spine tingle at the attention. It had taken a while for you to accept being naked in front of Chan but you finally felt confident in your own skin to do it. Jungkook was the first to make a move on you as he laid you down against the floor, his lips kissing down your stomach until he reached your clit and his fingers slid into you,

"You're so tight," Junngkook pants out, slowly moving his fingers in and out of you as you moaned out softly,

"I can't imagine what my cock is going to feel like." He groans as Chan smirks down at you, your eyes finding his as you bite down on your lip.

"F-Fuck," You moaned out as Jungkook began quickly driving his fingers in and out of you, your back arching away from the floor as Chan used his arm to playfully hold you down. Your orgasm was growing faster as your legs started to shake, whimpering out Jungkook's name,

"I-I'm gonna cum...P-Please...Fuck! Please." You pleaded, your hands finding something to grip onto as you rocked your hips.

"Cum for him, Yn," Chan told you as began sucking on your nipples again,

"Cum for both of us," He added making you cry out their names as your orgasm washed over you. Neither Chan nor Jungkook slowed down as they watched you throw your head back against the floor letting out the loudest moan you'd ever done. Chan kissed up and down your neck as he slowly lay down on the floor beside you,

"Ride me, angel." He instructed as you were quick to get up off the floor and straddle your boyfriend's lap, Jungkook watched as you lined yourself up with his cock.

"You sure you can handle us both?" He asked now a little unsure about how this was going to work but you smirked at him over your shoulder.

"Positive," Your voice came out seductive and sweet before you sunk down onto your boyfriend letting him fill you inch by inch until you were crying out his name.

"Fuck, Chan." You whined out,

"That's it, angel. Take my cock, just like that," He moans out, spreading his legs wide and thrusting up into you, your head rolling back as you cried out. The head of his cock hitting that perfect spot inside of you that made everything so much more intense.

"Jungkook, I want you too." You moaned out as you rocked your hips in time with Chan's thrusts, whimpering out as you felt something cold on your ass.

"Just prepping you, baby," Jungkook whispers as he massages lube onto your tight hole, slowly pushing a finger into you first making you gasp out. You'd tried anal before with Chan so it was nothing new to you but the feeling of Chan already deep inside of you with Jungkook's fingers drove you wild.

"Fuck me...Please," You begged as Jungkook slowly knelt behind you and lined himself up with your hole. Jungkook hisses as he slowly pushes into you, filling you up inch by inch until you are crying out their names.

"S-So fucking full," You moan out as you held onto Chan's chest for support. You cried out as you felt both of them inside of you, Chan's thrusting resumed as Jungkook slowly found his own pattern. Both of them alternated with powerful thrusts that drove you insane. 

"I-it's too much," You squirm a little, moaning out as you clutched onto Chan's chest, Chan's thrusting slowed and Jungkook stopped completely, looking at Chan for confirmation to continue.

"Colour." Chan moaned out as he stared at you, his eyes softening as he watched you closely.

"G-Green," You told him, letting him know that while it was too much you knew you could handle it.

"You can take it, angel. You're doing so f-fucking good," He groans out as he squeezes your breasts, looking up at you as you stare down at him bucking your hips as they continue to fuck into you roughly.

"You wanted this, don't forget that," Jungkook whispered in your ear, biting down on your skin softly as you cried out his name.

"J-Jungkook, C-Chan," You moaned out as you felt your second orgasm fast approaching, 

"The birthday girl gets whatever she wants." Jungkook moans as he fucks into you roughly, your head rolling back to land on Jungkook's chest.

"Cum around our cocks, Angel, we wanna see you cum for us." Chan pants out, his hips thrusting faster as you whimper out his name, barely able to form words anymore.

"Be a good girl and cum," Chan ordered as you cried out, your orgasm hitting you and shattering around you roughly as you clenched around the men.

It didn't take long until both men were moaning loudly, you felt Chan's cock twitch inside of you before his thrusting slowed to a stop and you whimpered when you felt Jungkook pull out of you, suddenly feeling empty until a warm feeling hit the bottom of your back.

"You're so hot," Jungkook pants, falling onto the floor out of breath as you giggled at both of the men who looked just as fucked out as you did right now.

"Stay for a slice of cake and we'll head to bed together," You told Jungkook, your eyes looking down at Chan to make sure it was okay and he nodded, kissing your hand softly as you all lay there trying to calm down from your highs.

The following morning you had expected things to be awkward between the three of you but it wasn't at all, you'd kissed Jungkook goodbye and he headed home leaving you and Chan with the day to yourselves.

"I'll never share you again." He told you as he drew invisible patterns into your skin, your head snuggling into his neck as you nodded at him.

"I never want to be shared again, I'm all yours." You promised him, placing gentle kisses on his skin as he shivered a little at the touch.

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[pressureplus]

Hihii! Hope your all doing well

Could you please do human Sebastian Headcannons where it’s his or our birthday and writhed we get him something or we get him something?? My birthday was yesterday n I think this’ll be cute <3

Remember to take breaks <3

-💫

Hi! We're doing good, thank you for asking ❤️ (We get our breaks by taking turns making stuff, so don't worry too much about that)

It's a day late, but happy birthday, Anon! I hope it was a good one!

Birthday Wishes

Pairings: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader

Au: Classic

Warnings: N/A

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

Everything has to be perfect. As perfect as it can possibly be from a place like this.

He's made sure to send Y/N out on a supply run he's hoping is going to take quite a while, needing some extra time to prepare for something he's making out to be a big event.

As much as he hates sending his dumb little diver anywhere without either going with them or watching them, he's taken a great deal of caution in getting them supplied and assuring the halls were not active today... Sebastian has well enough ferryman tokens in stock to bribe and barter with should anything happen, worse case scenario.

Shaking his head, he attempts to get rid of those paranoid tendencies so he can finish hanging up the streamers. The bastard fish had been awfully mean to Y/N this morning trying to throw them off so they wouldn't catch any hints for the surprises he's planned. The experiment still is not the best with putting that guard down that's been built up so he can live down here, but he's been trying. Y/N has made him really want to try.

Part of him is still nervous about this, scared that once they get this gift and use it that they'll figure out that they don't want him. He's scared that they'll settle on the thought that they only wanted his company out of desperation, lingering on the idea a bit too long and decide to go find someone else. The anxiety has left his hands shaking a good portion of the morning.

But he has to trust them. They've earned that a few hundred times over for being patient with him for so long.

Sebastian has been preparing for this day for years, and in truth this was for himself at first. This was supposed to be for him. He worked for it, scavenged for it, fought, killed, and lived for it. He's been running this shop for so long it's all he knows anymore and it was always for this.

It wasn't until Y/N came along it stopped being for him and started being for the both of them.

There's even a cake, and though he's still a bit concerned they're not going to like his less than stellar icing designs, he knows it's your favorite flavor so he's sure you won't hate it.

When he decides he's made it up nice enough and that he's brave enough to greet you, he makes his way back to his shop and sits waiting, trying not to mull over his choices, hoping that it will go well.

It doesn't take long, maybe another half hour at most, for his favorite person to stroll back in.

"Sebby! I'm home!" Y/N greets him first, going to set the small crate of goods down near the doorway.

"Took you long enough. Hard run?" He teases, reaching one of those big clawed hands down to ruffle their hair. Smile a little wider and eyes a little brighter, he can't deny he's excited.

"No! It was actually super easy! I didn't find even an ounce of data, though..." Seeming disappointed, they almost go to sulk before he catches them.

"No, no, I have made well enough for the week." He reaches under the desk and pulls out a messily wrapped box.

"Plus, it's your birthday, isn't it?" Sebastian grins.

It takes Y/N a long beat of silence to perk up, eyes sparkling under the outdated LEDs.

"It is! You remembered my birthday?" They snatch the present up and instinctually shake it.

"Ah, don't get too happy about it, I saw it on the calendar." The fishy man tries to play it off for longer, really dragging it out.

"I'd say happy birthday, but could it really be happy in the Blacksite?" He pokes, the snide jab not seeming to bring Y/N down at all.

"It is with you!" They give him a beaming grin and start to open their box.

Nearly choking, Sebastian feels his face heat up a bit and his heart stops in his chest. How is he not supposed to treasure his Y/N? How could anyone think they were anything less than amazing?

"Well, it is a special day nonetheless. You only get this old once." He adjusts his comment to match their mood, still reminding himself to soften up for them.

He's decorated it in their favorite colors, colorful streamers matching all the little things that's going to make it feel like a home.

"You got me a plushy?! Where'd you find one!?" Y/N tugs the stuffed toy out of the box and squeezes it, very clearly resembling their favorite mythical creature.

"Would you believe it was luck?" He chuckles, lying to them point blank. He'd made it by hand, but doesn't want the tears or teasing from you that would come with admitting that.

"Thank you so much, Sebastian! You're the best!" Y/N only continues to shine in the dimly lit shop.

"I've got something else for you. It's in the back." He places a hand on their waist to usher the former prisoner along towards the grand finale.

"Is it really gonna beat the plushie?" They joke and he snickers.

"I'd certainly hope so, it's your party." He uses another of his massive hands to cover your eyes and lead you out past the room, guiding your step up on a completely unfamiliar stair.

"Woah, is this a new room?" Y/N looks confused.

"Yep. It's your room now. We're still going to be sharing, but it's brand new." He hesitates for another few seconds.

Closing his own eyes, he tries to stay calm. Ripping that metaphorical bandaid off, his hands come away from them to let Y/N look around.

And Y/N finds themself in a submarine.

"You... Your deal went through. . ." They look around at the painstaking way he's furnished and decorated it.

"Yep. I got us a way out." He closes the door behind him and Y/N whips around to look at him.

"We're leaving!? WE'RE LEAVING TODAY?!" They look shaken, but more excited than he thinks he's ever seen before in his life.

The fear melts away watching the way they go and cheer, tossing their new plush onto the bed at the back of the vessel and laughing, already chattering about showing him the places they wanna go. If nothing he does ever goes right again his whole life, he's done good doing this.

Sebastian pulls another mischievous look and holds out the keys, barely catching their severely divided attention with the shiny new keyring.

"Happy Birthday, Y/N."

[atarathegreat]

Rise and Shine

It's no secret that Ran prefers his sleep to anything else. Not even Rindou is safe from his brothers wrath if he so happens to wake up when he doesn't want to. For years Ran terrorized anyone who dared be in the same house as him as he slept. No one dared to even breath out of the wrong nostril.

But you, oh, you! You never needed to be fretful of his backlash, no! Because you have the powerful Haitani wrapped around your pretty fingers, twisted around your wishes and bent to your will. He didn't care about how loud you were, though he would have attitude with you throughout the day. Rindou is never not impressed by how freely you walk around the house while his brother sleeps off a bad day. There are no eggshells under your feet when you walk and no barrier of fear keeping you from finishing the daily chores.

The moments you kept to yourself are from early in the day, when the sun is barely up and the blankets are still wrapped around you both, warmth being shared between lovers in the early morning where cold still envelops the outside air. You wake up and wait patiently for Ran to roll and face you, because even you know your limits of what Ran would tolerate from you. So you wait and wait and wait, until finally he rolls to his stomach to rest his head on his arms. Pouty lips tempt you for only a second to kiss him (another instance that Ran would wake up in a less than stellar mood), but you refrain.

Months living with the man have made you privy to sweet ways to wake him with a smile so you could safely be obnoxious and loud. Neat brows crease as you touch his cheek, tapping gently in the shape of a heart to get his attention slowly.

"Ran, Ran wake up." You whine, quiet enough that if he was sleeping deeply you wouldn't actually wake him. In truth, you could watch the sunrise alone, but Ran had never failed to wake with you, yet. Maybe today was the day he did?

A deep groan makes you smile, he's awake and he's listening to the words you say. "Ran, the sun." You kiss the tip of his nose, icing to the delicate cake you're making. Those beautiful eyes you love finally open, his lilac staring back into yours as he smiles just enough, "Already?" And your overly giddy nodding makes him huff, but he still stands from the bed to stretch. He would never make you watch the sunrise alone, not since he knew just how wonderful the early light looked when it was bouncing off your skin or how peaceful your eyes were with the sun reflected in the dark pupils, pupils turned pinpoints because you were dumb enough to try and stare straight at the sun.

"Come, I'll make coffee before we head out this morning." Ran stretches deeply, the tattoo on his arm twisting almost as harshly as he does to make you happy. It's adorable to Ran that you trot after him, smile lopsided like his white button up that falls off your shoulder. He takes a brief moment to adjust the fabric, freeing your other shoulder and undoing the top button so he can see the rounded top of your breasts you look cute and not like you just woke up. "Beautiful, as always." He smirks, kissing your cheek.

Ran never watches the sun, he's to busy watching the way you light up at the sight. No one understood your affinity to wake up so early just to watch the sun rise and drink coffee. It was something Ran was glad he didn't understand, instead he enjoyed your little quirk, as if your body refused to let you miss another day. And he accepted it as a message that seemed to say Look, another day starting and you are here to see it. It not only made him feel untouchable, but it forced him to recognize his crippling mortality.

"Look, Ran! The birds!" The way you gasp, the way your jaw falls open, he loves it. He thinks that amazement is a great look on you.

A fleeting thought of setting an alarm to wake him up before you have to tap at his cheeks flashes in his brain before he shakes it away. Ran would prefer that you just tap his face and kiss his nose every morning, as always.

[urlovebrini]

arranged marriage with alhaitham

⋆❀ — includes: alhaitham x fem! reader

⋆❀ — content: arranged marriage, alhaitham is bad at feelings, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, little miscommunication, you are a sunshine, he calls you nymph, little age gap, alhaitham is like 27 and you are like 20/21 its not mentioned in the writing but he calls you little, sfw but there will be a second part with the nsfw, i love arranged marriage i can't help myself, maybe little occ alhaitam at the end but his in love, smirking alhaitham is in my mind all the time

⋆❀ — a/n: hello sorry for the disappearance, but you know life happens, i don't promise that i will be so active, but will try to write more things. i tried not to go into the story too much, especially in the beginning and get to the good part of the drama, angst and romance, tell me what you think, if you like it maybe I'll think about enlarging it on ao3, i will do a follow up with the nsfw and this is a part of a serie so next character is ayato.

⋆❀ — arranged marries series: ayato | tartaglia | diluc

⋆❀˖°·࿐ ࿔ alhaitham

he knew about arranged marriages, in reality, they were pretty common in sumeru society, when the grand majority of people were putting all their minds and time into the endless pursuit of knowledge there was little time for romance and love all that fairy tale things were out of the equation of the people lives. alhaitham was no exception to the rule, in fact, he cared so little about the idea of infatuation and romance that it didn't cross his mind at all, not until his old grandma told him, that she had found an adequate and nice girl to be his bride.

the truth was, he didn't care at all, he could have refused with good reasons, in reality, he liked being alone, it was easier, lets complications meant more accomplishments. but if the girl didn't bother him and let him be with his studies and do his things, he didn't see the problem with accepting the marriage. so the preparations begin

the first time he met you, alhaitham didn't know what to make about you. you were a pretty young girl, he could appreciate that, a nice smile, bright eyes, and a cheerful disposition. you seemed so far away from the common world. you looked nervous but he could tell you had what people seemed to categorize as a sweet personality. it was a little eerie looking at you, so nice and cheerful, with a fitting lilac dress… and your eyes met his, a smile on your face, he could only nod in acknowledgement, but your smile grew more as you talked with a friend excitedly. so contrasting.  

in the days leading to the wedding, he discovered some things about you, it resulted, you were an ex akademiya student, and you had a decent academic record, but for some reason, you decided not to follow the academic path. all the times he saw you, it seemed like you always were happy, with a smile, and going to one place and another, you had a liveness in you. one day you asked him something maybe it was about the flowers, maybe it was about the cake he could only answer the true 《he didn't care》 something seemed to change in your expression but you nodded not the less. you seemed like you wanted to tell something more, so he observed you; you were in another dress it was white but it had lilac ornaments. with all the people you talked to, you smiled, he was surprised your face didn't hurt at this point. 

and the wedding day came. it was lively, decorated with care, rainbow roses and paradises hung over chandeliers, and the bride, you looked eerie in the bridal dress, your always present smile shining and brightening the room, and your eyes looking at him almost like searching for something. alhaitham was stoic as always, but even he felt his breath taken away at your sign. for you almost all seemed unreal, you were getting married, his face was serious like always, and you were searching for something, something in him that could tell you that this was going to work. you wanted to believe that there was some curiosity behind his eyes, it all felt helpless but you hoped. 

the ceremony was quick, nothing special in particular, traditional rites and votes, it was like a trance it finished almost as it started, and the wedding continued with the fest and the party, and especially the first dance you smile at him, but he didn't say anything, his face with the same expression, you didn't know what you were waiting but it was something, maybe at 《you look beautiful》 but you would be conformed with an 《the weather is nice》 in that moment. 

alhaitham was in his seat of honour, he was watching you dazzling with some girls, your cousins he believed you said? but in a strange way, you seemed in your element, he couldn't keep his eyes out of you, you were an enchantress, it was not natural, the sweetness, the brightness, the way you flow in your moves, he was there with you some hours ago, the first dance, it was brief, as he only wanted to go to his place and end all this, and you seemed distracted, he remembers you asked about the decorations “they are fine, i guess” he answered, you smile seemed to felt for a second and came back almost immediately, averting your gaze he could her you murmur “the rainbow rose is one of my favourite flowers, all people say they are pink but sometimes they seem lilac to me, and the colour is pretty, and the meaning…”  alhaitham looked at you waiting for you to continue talking in the dance "it can symbolize several things" you said quickly to look away as if wanting to avoid something, alhaitam decided not to pressure if you wanted to say something you would say it he tought. 

and now he was watching you dance, laughing, and dazzling, you asked him if he wanted to dance more, but he refused, “im comfortable here, thank you” was his short answer, something shifted in your face, but as you enjoy your time it seemed left past. and as he looked at you a single word could only describe you, nymph, he thought, an ethereal nymph, that bewitched all the room. 

the day ended, and the moment came, time to go to alhaitham house, no, your new house you remember yourself, the way was silent, but he seemed comfortable with that, so you stayed silent. he looked as always, with the same expression, he was now your husband, and you were in way to his home, no, in way to your home. as you passed the portal, the place seemed nice, but you couldn't help to feel disappointed, there were no laughs, no bridal carry, and there was so much silence. 

he looked at you seeing the place, you seemed lost, like a deer in bright lights, you watched him walk to a door and clear his throat “there is an extra set of keys in the kitchen that you can take tomorrow, this is the bedroom you can refresh and make yourself comfortable” you enter the room it was nice and big, but it seemed lonely? “someone of your family brought somethings of yours these last days, all is in the boxes so you can accommodate the how you want” you nodded your head, what you can say in this moments? “that door leads to the bathroom, the other one is the closet” you looked at him maybe hopping that he say something more but he didn't.

when you came out of the shower after bathing and putting in one of the pajamas one cousin gave you joking that with that you could even conquist a god, it was pretty, but it made you feel shy. the bedroom was alone, alhaitham was not in sign, and all seemed to be in so much silence, you carefully get out of the bedroom looking for alhaitham, the house was dark, but there was a dim light coming out from a door, opening the door slowly, you saw what it seems to be the study room, alhaitham was there in an soffa, bathed and in comfortable clothes. his eyes looked at you quickly only to return his gaze to the pages of the book "there is something you need?" the question came in surprise, how you answer that? "i was just wondering a little... and didnt saw you" you answered as he changed the page, with out apparting his eyes from the words in the book he said "yes i came to finish some reports, and continue with my reading" you could saw that, but in the wedding night? you were hopping maybe you could talk more, try to know each other. you didn't knew what to answer and he seemed that had little interest in conversation, so you only nodded and walked to the bedroom. and as you lied in bed your thoughts seemed to spiral in what is to come.

the light wake you and you woke up alone with the other side of the bed, almost intact, it seemed like he sleep in the studio. you get up of the bed and walked only to saw alhaitham already dressed up and drinking his morning coffee. he looked at you briefly "there is some coffee left, but you can make whatever" you looked at him with keys in his hand, he was leaving? today? "are you going out" tried to sound as casual as possible, "yes" he said and didn't give more explanation as you looked him going to the door only to stop "oh i am going to the akademiya, have somethings to do" he saw you giving him an small smile, your hair was messy of the sleep, and if he looked more down, well in reality yes you were beautiful "when you arrive?".

"don't know, so don't worry about that" was the last words he said, and you were alone. the rest of the day you just accommodated your things, and recieved the wedding gifts, you were curious, but decided to wait for alhaitham, maybe it could be a chance to talk, and past time together. the house seemed nice, but it felt solitary almost like a chell, just some place to rest and store things. and there were a lot of books, all academic and of a lot of subjects, maybe you should ask your mother of bringing you your novels. but even if there was something you wanted to read, your mind were wondering about the man that lived in the house, maybe he was just nervous you were too, he was polite, maybe it was cuestion of time, maybe you just needed time.

time passed, day by day, and as time goes bye, things seem to stay the same. that first day when he arrive you commented him about the gifts, you were excited but all semmed to faint when he answered "i think you can check them and sortem alone" you tried to smile to him "you don't want to look at them" his only response was "no its fine, trust in you" so you opened your wedding gifts alone, in a house that you felt will never be yours.

and as time still went , week by week, things didn't seem to change, the feelings of rejection were groing, he was not bad, he was not good, you think the only answer was that he wasnt, you tried to stay positive, tried to stay optimistic, but it was waiting on you, the house feeled strange, and you couldnt balance yourself in this eviroment that semmed so far away for you. he was not cruel, so there was nothing you could complain about. you only feel lonely.

you started to fall in routine or so you believed, only half of the time you could wake before of him and doing a breakfast he always say "its not necessary" and after that alone time, sometimes you will get out and go with some friend to talk or eat something, and every fifteen days in saturday, you visited your family, alone. they didnt ask, your father talked things about the akademiya, you found out about the changes there, even if your husband was the grand scribe.

at the beginning you took advantage of the house alone, to dance and sing, and just move yourself, you were alone soo you say to yourself that you could made a fool of yourself, unknowngly of the little times alhaitham catch you, dancing and singing in the kitchen or common room, for him it was a little fascinating but he would never comment something about that, but he would smile to himself, you were a nymph he tought is obvious that dance is in you second nature. but as time passed you danced every time less, you didn't feel motivation to sign, and you almost not feel like yourself.

alhaitham moved towards his own things, all within his space, you didn't knew his colleagues, or friends? only one Kaveh he was fine, but commonly it was only bickering between him and alhaitham. all made you feel invisible. more when people when people at the akademiya, were surprised that alhaitham was married. only one time you went to the akademiya to leave him something he had left behind, and the way some akademics treat you, thats what you left in the first place, but why nobody new alhaitham was married? so invisible you were. all more feel lonely.

if someone asked you what alhaitham was to you, and if you would tell the true, the only answer was 《 a ghost, an spirit that just lives there, and you know that is there, is not an evil one but either a good one, he is just a ghost i live within this walls, of a place that seems unknow to me, a ghost that don't disturbs, it almost difficult to feel his presence but you know is there, and don't matter what you try, you can never recognize him, talk to him, comprehend him, you could never recognize his will. in the end the ghost is just part of the place, but you also are becoming just a part of the house, a wallflower of life 》

alhaitham noted your change, the energy, the life and the bright in your eyes, faded everyday, for several days now he didn't catch you signing or dancing like before, and now the brief chitchat that you had when your ate, was more brief, being now him the one to talk more, he observe you, you didn't seem sick, you looked tired, and you body sometimes trembled, he saw your hands they had injuries from cleaning, the last days, you seemed a little obsessed with that everything where clean he told you, that it was not necesary, that all were spotless but you said you prefered so he let you be, but he couldn't saw you hurt.

so after dinner he enter the bedroom, you were there with that pajamas more akin to a babydoll, you seemed lost reading a book but in reality not reading "you hurt yourself" was the thing that he said, and take you out of your trance, without letting you answer, he took your hand and began to put ointment on it and bandage it. your eyes round looked at him, but as always he just discussed what is in hand "i'm going to hide the cleaning products, if you keep going, you can't be hurt, understood?" he saw you, and you looked so helpless there, hair let down, pink babydoll, and eyes wide like a doe, nooding to answer to him "fine" he couldn't look you more so he looked briefly at the book in your hands, a novel. "not more cleaning, now rest" he left with a word more.

when you wakeup the next morning the house were alone, but there was tea waiting for you, and a fiction book in the table. when alhaitham arrived home an smile face was painted in his face as he saw you reading the book he left for you, without a world he put a candy box in the bureau and left to the studyroom.

alhaitham missed the shine in your smile, and your cheerfulness, but he could spotit sometimes everytime you looked at a new book, or saw a desert, even somethings so simple like flowers made you smile. so everyday without a word he let something for you, first only the thing and after that with a little nottee, he feel stupid, but you seemed to smile to the notes.

it was morning, it was strange, you didn't have hopes for the day, this last days, he seemed to disappear for some days only to cameback, an expeditions they where, in reality you didn't coment on it, all ways confused, the tug of war, of your feelings was getting out of crontol. and maybe the thing that made you crazy, was that he looked the same, you belived that you liked stoic man, but not the stoicism in person. in the other side there was his care, the gifts, but there also was the silence and the space. you looked to the vase of flowers with some rainbow roses, that he left there, was he so confusing, you didnt want to fall for him, you didnt want to be the one to get hurt, you were scare, that even after all this time, you felt helpless in his presence.

you wished you could sleep the day away, maybe was the better, so that were the plan of the day, if you sleep, nothing could happen, and life moved without you so it was fine. but after some hours, and some headache you couldn't help to cry, and just cry in the dark room of this house that wasn't your home and hounted your heart.

alhaitham hated sometimes those stupid scolars of the akademiya, he thought as he entered his house, it was dark, it was pretty late, so you must be asleep now, although he sometimes notted how you couldn't sleep at night. alhaitham new things were slow, but he could say they were a little progress, your eyes seemed to shine almost like at the start, and he conversed more with you, when he accepted to get married, he didn't think that he will feel so enchanted for his wife. but you were a nymph in his life, 《 you had bewitched him of body and soul 》 as the corny books you read put it. in the beginning he started distance for him, after that it was for you, and after that it was just a routine of you. but he was restless, all the time he did what he wanted, and say what he wanted, but with you it was different, he wanted you, but he didn't knew what to do now.

he saw the table and frown all was intact since the morning, he made its way to the master bedroom, that seemed almost yours, but in wanting his space and then in not making you uncomfortable, maybe he could change that, his thoughts close as he heard you sniff and cry, it seemed you were almost out of breath and he never felt so shitty in his life like in that moment, he didn't care what people thought of him, but now he care about your thoughts.

you fell him in the room, and telling you something that seemed far away, you tried not to, but you couldn't help of hugging him, of trying to hide yourself in his arms. you thought maybe just for night, he didn't say nothing, and he let you be. so you hide in him, until you felt asleep.

the next morning you wakeup expecting to be alone like always but he was there looking at you. alhaitham couldn't help himself looking you so helpless his hand traveled to your hair, getting it out your face "you know my little wife?" it seemed so surreal almost like a dream, "i have been thinking of the shitty husband i was being and how much i have neglected my marital duties" his voice was low and hoarse of the morning. his hand hold you chin and made you look into his eyes "i wonder if my sweet little wife could forgive me" you were left for word and only form a perfect o with your lips "maybe i should try harder to fulfill my duties as a husband" he smile when the words seemed to fall on you and your eyes shined like when he met you "maybe you should try" your voice were eerie "maybe i should but only if my so sweet wife let me" his face was serious, but you wanted, he was breaking the wall, yes it started with the presents the notes, but this felt real, you only nodded to him, for a reason you felt shy in his gaze.

his voice lowered more as he hold you "nymph you have been so sweet forgiving me, i promise that i will be better for you" there was that smile "you hadn't being that bad, i guest" you wanted to jock a little but you couldnt not know that it all seemed unreal "alhaitham thank you , for the books, and the sweets, and the notes and the flowers, you remembered my favourite flowers" his face was the same serious face of always but there were something in his eyes some shine and a little smirk that was appearing in the corner of his lips "so polite my nymph...."

⋆❀ — a/n: i hope you like this, i am not so sure if i liked it, but is my first long post, so maybe if i do a change will be little and i will warn. i try to stay in alhaitham pov most of the time but the angst is better in the reader's pov, like always asks are open, if you have ideas, or want to comment something. dont know if the next post would be the second part of this or the ayato one. thank you for reading as always. if you had a better name for the tittle its welcome 🌸🍨🪼

⋆❀ — lovelies tags: @oveloof,

[hanggarae]

happy birthday jeonghan !

ONE TIME FOR THE BIRTHDAY BITCH 🗣️🔥 jeonghan x gn!reader fluff 0.9k words

“hannie just tell me what you want for your birthday” you whined on call for your boyfriend, getting louder when all he did was giggle instead of answering your question.

“baby you should be able to work out what i want on your own” jeonghan teased from the other line. “besides even if you can’t, i’d love anything you give me”

you rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see it. jeonghan’s birthday was in less than a week and you still had no clue what to get him.

you could get him a lego set or more calico critters- but he somehow managed to have every set available.

“yn..” jeonghan said quietly over the phone, “if it makes you feel any better you’ll have an extra two weeks to shop anyway, we won’t be back until the 18th”

you pouted at his words. how the hell would that make you feel better? now you didn’t know what to get your boyfriend and you remembered you can’t see him for almost three weeks.

“no! i’ll have your gift by your actual birthday”

you heard jeonghan stifle a yawn and laugh, he and the rest of the guys were probably tired. you both said your goodbyes to each other and he promised to call tomorrow morning.

while you rested your head on the pillow and looked at the ceiling, you thought about what to get him again. shopping for him really wasn’t easy.

you unlocked your phone again, fingers automatically opening the notes page you had for brainstorming potential gift ideas.

“happy birthday!” the loud cheers from his members flooded jeonghan’s ears making him smile. it had just turned midnight and they were already at it.

truth be told he didn’t care about birthdays all that much- at least not it’s customs anyway. he didn’t really mind if people didn’t call him immediately at 12am to wish him a happy birthday, he didn’t care much about a cake or gifts- he just enjoyed that it gave him an excuse to feel loved by the people surrounding him without having to be shy about it.

so when you asked him what he wanted for his birthday, it’s not like he wasn’t answering you on purpose, it’s just that he genuinely didn’t know what he wanted from you, he just wanted you.

but he’d still have to wait three weeks for that. he was still in europe and you were halfway across the world from him, living in the shared apartment in seoul.

it would’ve been early morning for you, meaning you most likely weren’t up. so he didn’t bother checking his phone for a message from you.

meanwhile, you were arguing with one of the airport staffs about your lost luggage. it had jeonghan’s gift that you bought but weren’t sure about giving him because it was a little lackluster.

“you know what just leave it. it’s fine” you sighed out exasperated, deciding to just head to the hotel jeonghan was staying at instead.

you called for a taxi but somehow none were available. you checked on the gps app and it luckily wasn’t too far of a walk from the airport.

jeonghan usually slept late, so if you hurried you’d make it before he went to bed. the rain would be a problem though. you surveyed it for a few seconds before heading back to one of the airport shops, hoping to find an umbrella.

“stupid cheap airport umbrella” you muttered as the umbrella barely kept shape against the winds, leaving you mostly soaked despite your best efforts to get it to stick to its original shape.

your phone ringing caught you by surprise and you fished it out of your pocket but the rain had made your hand to slippery causing you to drop it, luckily it didn’t break but it left a crack meaning you’d have to replace your screen protector.

you answered the call, it was mingyu.

“i’m like ten minutes away, make sure he doesn’t go to bed!” you shouted over the rain. mingyu didn’t talk for long, telling you okay before he went to bother jeonghan again.

after a few more minutes, you were completely soaked, you cringed at how your wet clothes sticking to your figure and the sound your shoes would make every time you took a step.

you checked into the hotel, your room being on the same room as the guys’ so you could trade with whoever jeonghan was currently rooming with.

you checked mingyu’s text and made sure you were standing in front of the right room before knocking.

behind the door you could hear the guys all asking jeonghan to open the door because they all couldn’t be bothered, and you smiled at the tired sigh your boyfriend let out when he got closer to the door.

you opened your arms, ready to shout ‘happy birthday’ to your boyfriend only for him to interrupt you by saying “yn? what are you doing here? and why are you- get inside quick you’re gonna catch a cold!”

he beckoned everyone else out and into their own rooms then ran to his suitcase to get you one of his shirts. “quickly dry off then get changed and throw these to the laundry” jeonghan said hastily, already helping you get your long coat off.

you smiled at him, giggling when he looked at you confused. “happy birthday hannie” you leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek.

“thank you baby” he returned your kiss with one on your lips instead, “but seriously get under those blankets unless you want to spend my entire birthday sick”

[imtryingbuck]

I'm sorry

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

I’m sorry.

Summary: Readers the daughter of Tony Stark.

Word count: 1091

Warning: Angst, I’m sorry. Tony’s not a good dad – again im sorry. Death.

Masterlist

Being the product of a one night stand was something I was always embarrassed about. It was one night, one night he spent with a woman he barely knew or remembered the name of and nine months later I was born. When I was 6 my mum married a man who after a year gave her the ultimatum, me or him. She chose him so I had to go and live with a man I met a couple of times. I loved it at first but slowly became numb to living with him. Being the daughter of Tony Starks greatest mistake was bittersweet.

~~~

“For God sake Y/N stop asking! You know I won’t be able to. I’m busy”

“I-Im sor-“

“Get out!”

“Tony don’t shout please I’ve got a headache”

“Sorry Pep”

I ran back to my room with tears rolling down my cheeks. All I wanted was him to come to my school to watch the play I was in.

~~~

“Dad can-“ 

“Not now pumpkin I’m busy with Pepper”

“Bu-“

“No Y/N this is important. Go and bother Nat or Wanda”

Dejected I went back to my room to blow out the candles neatly placed on my own birthday cake I had made.

~~~

“H-hi dad I was wondering if you could come to my class to tal-?”

“I can’t pumpkin I’m going to be busy”

“O-oh okay”

~~~

“Dad can you come to my lacrosse game next week? I’ll be starting”

“Of course pumpkin, wouldn’t miss it”

“R-r-really?”

“Umhuh”

The night of the game I was ecstatic, at the start of the game he hadn’t arrived but put it down to him finding somewhere to park. I’d won the final goal, I wasn’t even bothered by my teams’ reactions, I just wanted to see my dad’s. Turns out he was busy having dinner with the team.

I gave up trying to get my dads attention after that.

~~~

Pacing the hallway of his office I gathered all the courage I could muster to raise my hand and knock on the door. 

“Come in”

“Hi dad I was just wondering if me and you could go to this new restaurant in town, and well you see I need to talk to you about something important” I rushed out before he could interrupt which is something he loves to do with me.

“Slow down pumpkin, when?” He chuckles.

“Tonight, if possible?”

“Of course darling”

“O-oh okay meet you outside common room at 6?”

“I’ll be there”

For the rest of the day I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I cleaned my room, showed and got dressed. I made my way to the common room where I came to a halt.

“Going out with the family to have a lovely dinner at the new restaurant in town” Tony’s face was bright as he looked at Pepper, Peter and Morgan. 

I was standing there watching them go into the elevator, frozen. I could feel eyes on me and that’s when I looked to see the Avengers looking at me with pity in their eyes. Before anyone could say anything, I turned on my heels and walked back to my room. I’m ashamed to admit I cried.

Months had gone by with little to no interaction with my father, the times we did talk it was awkward and uncomfortable for the both of us.

~~~

“-I’m really sorry Miss Stark-“ the doctors lips continued to move but it felt like I was under water and his words were muffled, I simply nodded along. Scrambling out of the chair I made a beeline towards the entrance of the hospital desperately needing fresh air. I tried ringing my dad but to no surprise he didn’t answer.

Numbly walking back to the tower, the realisation of how alone I truly was hit hard. And with the truth swarming around my head, I just couldn’t hold the tears at bay anymore. Maybe an hour had past when I finally wiped my tears and continued the walk back home.

There were screams of joy and excitement when I arrived, ‘happy birthday’ banners and balloons surrounded every corner of the place. Since I hasn’t even been invited to Morgan’s birthday party I headed straight to my room as soon as I hit the bed I was out like a light.

The following week past in a blur but for everyone around me they didn’t see anything different about me. Surprisingly it was Tony that realised something wasn’t quite right.

“What’s going on with you Y/N? You’ve been walking around this place like a zombie” 

“Why do you care?”

“What do you mean? I’m your dad”

I couldn’t help the roll my eyes did. “Sure”

“Don’t talk to me like tha-“

“I’m dying dad, got a few weeks left in me so just please continue to leave me alone.” The whole room had fallen silence at my confession. I couldn’t stand looking at my dad opening and closing his mouth like a goddam fish, so I turned around and walked straight out.

~~~

“Tony, Tony we found her! Hurry up” Steve was panting whilst trying to get Tony off the floor. 

The jet hovered just inches off the moss-covered ground when Tony opened the door and leapt out. He ran straight to the cabin that once belonged to his father. Knocking the door down he searched the small home for his daughter, when he came to the closed bedroom door his heart hammering in his chest, his hands trembled with every breath. The team stood behind slightly to the right of him all wearing the same expression. Nervous with a slight look of hope.

The creak of the hinges revealed his oldest daughter laying in the bed. Tony was never a religious man but in that moment, he was begging to God that his baby girl was just asleep as he took tiny steps towards the bed. 

The team waited with bated breath for Tony and you to emerge from the room. That was until they heard the heartbreaking cries and pleading from a broken man. They bowed their heads and wept.

It had been hours since Tony had found you, he held you close to his chest crying and begging you to wake up. “I’m so sorry I f-failed you my pump-pkin, please come back! I’m sorry. Please. I love you. I’m sorry I let you down time and time again my pumpkin”

Tony’s life was never the same after the loss of his greatest accomplishment.

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[woneuntonzz]

for the first time ˎˊ˗

📞 ; “It's not the piano we share the love for. It's the music, isn't it?”

𖹭 : childhood lover!anton x afab!reader

💭 It's just like seeing her for the first time again...

⤷ contains: fluff, pining, childhood lovers trope 🙈, humor (if

you squint ig??)

⤷ wc: 8k :3 (not proofread :0)

⤷ a songfic, inspired by:

-ˋˏ under the cut .ᐟ ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Not many wonder about what the world was like when the sky’s silent and pure black. It’s all at the top of our heads —the world’s asleep, at least, the part that’s bathing in darkness and the moonlight. But Anton wondered, he wondered what kind of dreams people slept with, what his tired uncle snores about at night. 

He remembered being sat on the garage floor with his uncle who wore wounds and dark purple bruises all over his arms. A mechanic at work, and a magician at home. Anton was fascinated with how he could fix everything, everything but his aching heart. 

Anton saw the way his uncle looked at the woman that lived across from their house. His uncle became a frequent visitor when their family moved to that neighborhood, and he thought it was because his uncle was just so fond of him. And while that’s a definite truth, he figured it must be because of that woman. 

“Do you have a crush on her?” the innocent question fell off of Anton’s lips as he watched his uncle rummage through a box of equipment to give his dad’s car a fix. 

“No.” his uncle laughed, and the poor boy wouldn’t be able to sense the hints of frailty in his tone. “How about you? I see you. You’re all eyes for their youngest.”

The youngest child of the family that lived across. Anton had always wanted to approach, but he would get startled the moment that pair of glittery eyes got to him. It made him quake in his heart, and every passing second he’d be feeling for his hair, to feel if it had jumped around making him look so foolish —no, not in front of you.

“She’s really pretty.” uttered through a grin, he starts fiddling with the fabric of his shirt. 

“I bet she’s really nice too, like you. You should ask her to be your friend.” his uncle would keep his head under the hood of the car, still meddling with its insides. “Her mom is nice.”

Anton raised his brows as curiosity washed his face. “Is the woman her mom?” and to that his uncle could only nod, and along with his ashed face and wounds and dark purple bruises he wore a bittersweet smile. Anton had seen that smile so often that he thought it was just how he is. 

It was at your eighth birthday party when Anton noticed how different his uncle smiled around your mother. And Anton would smile the same way when he would so shyly blurt out, “Happy birthday Y/n.” he felt his heart taking leaps that there were no stops in between his words, just flat but still all over the place. You served him a slice of your coral pink cake. But he could already taste the sugar from your smile alone. 

He was forced in there. He would say forced because he had hinted frustration with the way he had dropped his back against the chair at dinner, but truly he was only anxious of meeting you, greeting you, seeing the silk ropes of your hair catching the harsh rays of the sun up close rather than from the window of his living room. He’d tell his uncle, but he was assured that it would all be fine, even if he himself was anxious to be accompanying his nephew to the birthday party being hosted by his greatest love. 

Anton watched the adults from a distance, overlooking the inkling pining from his uncle’s actions. His uncle who had refused to see women because of work, not caring if people suspected him of not being into women at all. He valued his heart, yet had never taken care of it. It was not clear to Anton the words said that had left his uncle to lose the whim in him that night. Though, he was sure of one thing. He had got himself a friend. 

He found out his friend played the piano, that’s why she had such pretty hands, and had as much passion as he did. He played the piano too. After he arrived from school in the afternoon, he got himself in more comfortable clothes, then he’d be shoving chicken, rice and some seasoned veggies in his mouth. He considered himself careful for not being scolded despite being in a rush. After that he started to walk to the door. It would take him twenty-seven steps. One. To open his door the same time you would. Two. He started to think about what to say. Six. And what not to say. Fourteen. He felt like his pulse was at the same rhythm as his steps. Twenty-seven. He finally opens the door. 

He must’ve had godly intuition, or maybe it was fate doing its work. You both surprised each other, doors swiping open being met with the distant sight of each other. The distance was vast, but he could see such amazing and beautiful pictures in your eyes. Now he was about to take fifteen steps to you. He took notice of the way your hair waved back even if it wasn’t a windy day. And it was because you ran to him, your avidness showing through the grin you carried to him. 

“Hi Anton!” he had never heard a voice so lively. Somehow it made him feel like he could do anything at that moment, free. 

“Hello, Y/n.” his lips were pressed together as his voice started to falter. 

He wanted to beat himself up for sounding so enfeebled and it was so not cool. But you giggled at his dainty utterance, and it was like having another slice of that coral pink cake, so sweet.

“How was school?” you had just gone from school too. You were attending a different school, but yours and his still held the same schedule it seems. 

“It was okay.” he couldn’t admit that he felt like crying when he was taunted for being too quiet. 

“Are you sure?” you followed the steps of your mother, to ask if they were sure if you weren’t so sure yourself. 

He shrugs, and you could hear the bottom of his shoes grinding against the stray leaves on the ground from the old oak tree by your house. “I think the kids at school don’t like me.” for a second he thought he had said something wrong with the way your brows knitted from what he said, and so he’d speak again, “But maybe it’s just me. They were joking I think.”

“Well it’s a ridiculous joke. You’re literally so nice. You’re the nicest boy I know.” it was the facts speaking, considering every other boy in your life seemed to fall dumb with throwing balls around and sipping unpalatable liquid while watching other people throwing balls around. 

Being the nicest boy in your life would be the bourne of Anton’s living moments for as long as he could remember. He owes you for all the times you’ve given him a smile as bright as day, and when you’d let him run his fingers through the silk of your hair, and when you’d talk to him about whatever came to mind, no matter how arbitrary or unusual. He felt like he was in debt because of how much he’s heard your dear voice. And how he missed it when dusk caught up to your ventures. He wanted to give you the world just for existing. 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

You laughed when you heard Anton huff about how typical this essay topic was. You were now thirteen. Also in the same middle school. You stuck by each other like an ant with a pint of sugar. It’s been five years, and he was still the nicest boy you know. You two were the best of friends. Inseparable most times. People believed it would be impossible to keep the two of you out of each other’s wonders and giggles. Every means of socializing would be your world colliding with his. There was no other pair of eyes, or lips, or an angelic voice he looked for within the trifling crowds of students in your class or anywhere else. In his world there was only yours. 

“I’ve heard this question so many times. Now I’m not even sure what to answer.” his hands rested on the paper he had laid out, but his eyes were attached to your eyes like he was looking for something in them —which if he were, he would’ve been looking all day.

“How about a swimmer? don’t you want to be that? or a pianist?” his eyes followed the movements of your eyelids that opened a bit more for his reply.

“Well, I guess I could get an athletic scholarship.” the truth was he was too caught up with how comfortably your eyes kept a lock on his. He wasn’t able to actually ponder what he truly wanted. “You?”

He was eager to hear from you. He knew in that beautiful soul of yours you bear such amazing dreams. “Maybe a musician. I love music.”

“I do too.” it was a spur of the moment thing —he mulled his lips, his eyes fluttering down to your coral pink lips. He thought it must be as sweet as that coral pink icing. “I love you too.”

Your eyes would be as wide as the gap that separated the two of you, not exactly broad, but not close enough. “Oh, then, I love you too, Ton.” you had made it out to be as him declaring how much he appreciates you for being his best friend. Because what else could it be?

You’d find out soon enough, you were already fifteen. Fifteen and still oblivious of each other’s affection. Your friends could tell with just a single glance. Even when silence was overbearing, the two of you would dwell deep in each other’s eyes. Now that you’re older —and a lot closer— he’s been a lot more expressive. And you were too, however it would only be for him. His arms were always around you. Wrapped around your shoulders, and if lost in the moment, around your waist. He thought you never noticed how careful and gentle his touch was. You did, all of it. It would kind of sting too. He’d leave an imprint of his zeal on your skin, even if sometimes not bear, it would burn, but in a good way. It would sting the moment it’s taken away from you. The longing, it was something you weren’t so sure how you’d act on. 

At sixteen, he was fully focused on his cello. He had given up the piano for it. You supported him throughout everything, but his dubiety would not allow for him to get a good night’s sleep. He thought of what you could’ve felt when he said he wanted to play the cello and not the piano. It was because the piano was something you both loved but you’d affirm to him, “It’s not the piano we share the love for. It’s the music, isn’t it?” he felt foolish about the whole ordeal. Still, you thought it was sweet of him for being so broody. 

He took a lot of classes for the cello while you were out practicing for your solos. And soon he’d be practicing for recitals too. It kept you apart, but you knew you’d both be doing something you love. A breath of fresh air if you will. That air would become too hard to inhale eventually. You waited for Anton, just right outside where he and his band practiced. There was a small crack where you could see that he had made a new friend. You knew that friend, she was popular amongst boys. Though, you heard that she was not in for fooling around, it wouldn’t stop you from driving your sanity close to the fear of losing Anton. She’s a dream. Anton loved to talk about dreams, dreams for the future, dreams when you're asleep, even ones when you’re awake. You wondered, was his dream now standing in front of you carrying such luscious locks and sanguine eyes with the stature of a runway model? she held a bow too, which could only mean one thing. She too played the cello. Anton talked about how she taught him this and that, probably about playing the cello in more efficient ways. Either way, you couldn’t remember. Your mind trailed off to the thought that he might start to enjoy practice more than spending time with you. 

Your thoughts had led you back to the music room, angry notes flying off the piano as you let your heart lead your fingers. You meant to play a little softer, as to not draw anyone into the room. You failed in doing so. The piano’s song echoed throughout the room, but you had no time to care if it was going through the walls. Lost in song, you weren’t able to catch the sound of the door’s hinges moving along at the pace of your head that tilted with the rhythm of which you played. After laying out the last note, another would follow, and it sounds, “Are you okay, sweet?” 

Anton heard the aggressive play even being fifteen steps away from the music room. After those fifteen steps, there you were, sitting on the bench as your fingers worked the music. He had to pinch himself to assure he wasn’t dreaming. You looked like you had just gone down from the heavens. But he saw your nerves seemingly wanting to pop out and the way your brows were knitted too. Before he approached, he was already thinking of reasons. It could’ve been your music teacher putting you through rough practice. Or maybe it was him. He was thinking of everything he had said and done for the past week, the past month even. Then he decides he’d walk up to you towards the end of the song you played. 

“I’m fine.” but you ended up closing the piano a little too hard, causing the keys to play by themselves from under. You immediately looked up at Anton, and like what you’d expect, his face reflected his doubt. “I’m sorry. I just have a lot in my mind.”

Your body almost fell limp when you felt the warmth you’ve been longing for the three painfully slow days of continuous practice without seeing him. His arms snaked around you, just above your chest. He rests his chin on your head. “What is it, sweet? Tell me.” 

He felt your head move as you sighed. His body responded by getting himself seated next to you, keeping one arm around you. He gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. You eyed his gentle hand on you and kept it there when you uttered, “Do you think those kids back in your elementary school still don't like you?”

“Maybe? I don’t know, really.” your question was too random, but he’d let his hand slowly fall on your elbow, and the sensation clouded your mind. 

“Anton, I wish I could’ve just told you then.” you felt his grasp grow tighter. He pulled himself closer to you. His breath staggered seeing the thin layer of sea on your eyes. 

“Told me what?” he could almost feel your exhaustion, even if your hands were cold when he held them. 

You chuckled, but it was so broken that it would only lead to his grasp closing even more. “So what if they didn’t like you? screw those kids. I like you. I have for the longest time, Anton.” you sniffled to fight the waters. “And not as a friend, but more.”

The warmth he had given you all those times you’d feel him were all coming back to him. It was so great. The feeling wasn’t overwhelming. It was utter relief. But it told him two things. One, you’ve both been in love ever since his family moved into that neighborhood. And two, you were both oblivious of your flourishing love. He had thought of the second, that time he told you he loves you —seemingly out of nowhere. Once realizing what he had just said, he thought he had dug his own grave, but you would innocently tell him you loved him too. That moment was a slap to his face. He thought all he’ll ever be to you is a best friend. 

The winds of change blew stronger in that room. “Y/n, when I said I love you, I meant it. Then, I was only hoping you saw me the same way.” his fingers drew circles on your skin. You were both red and hot by then, still he was able to take jest of the situation. “This isn’t a prank, is it?”

You laughed, pushing yourself into his neck. It was the heat of your air that had pushed him to hold your chin up, and for the first time your lips would meet. It lasted for three seconds —not that you could count— and he’d hover over your lips for a while. And he’d smile, pressing his forehead against yours. He had to swiftly lick on his lips to confirm a theory. He was stunned to taste your strawberry chapstick. Sweet, you truly were.

“Anton?” only he could hear it with how miniscule your voice was, and it was just right for he was yet to move from where he halted. He chuckles. You laughed. Soon you had your face buried within the crook of his neck. 

You two left the music room as you would when you’re together. Significantly close in distance. The only difference would be your entwined hands. You both walked past your friends’ coos in the hallway wearing sheepish grins. It felt as if you were both children again, running towards the exit whilst you held onto each other tightly —just to be sure the other won’t get lost as you sped out into the outside world. Your conjoined ecstasy was heard by the array of students that passed by. If laughter was medicine, you’d both be dead from overdosing. He was careful to lead you out of the public space. He could feel his phone buzzing in his pants since it was practice afternoon for his swimming team. You were aware of their schedule, but he’d keep your mind off of it, ultimately lulling you with a kiss. 

It had only taken a giggle for you to be laying on the grass of your backyard. The constellations drew the love emanating from your huddled bodies. He traced it with his eyes. When he looked down, he was tracing your features like he did with the stars. Even with the bed of stars in the sky, and the moon, you still held a shine brighter than all of them combined. He gazed on the bead of light on the tip of your nose. And then everywhere else it scattered. With his eyes he followed the outline of your lips, and the curve of your chin. Then he needed to feel. His palm, soft and gentle, would find its rest on your cheek. You’ve been watching his eyes with your own the whole time, watching for where they trailed. 

“Wouldn’t you be in trouble for skipping training?” your voice was mellow. It was the softest and prettiest melody he’s ever heard. His fingers glide down from your cheek to your jaw. 

“I don’t think I want to be a swimmer.” he says, caressing your skin whilst he roams your visage with his eyes once more.

“Then what do you want to be, Ton?” his other hand went on top of your head. He moves the stray strands, being delicate with your kind locks. 

“I want to be with you.” the tone is low, a lot deeper than when you were thirteen. Baritone and painstaking. Yet it was pure velvet in your ears. 

You tittered at his reply. It was a means of covering your flushed face. You moved a little closer and nuzzled your face against his clothed chest. “I do too.” you mumbled into the fabric of his shirt. He heard it, and he grew nervous from you feeling the pounding in his chest because of the proximity. “Seriously now, what do you dream of for the future?” you moved from his chest to look up at him. 

“I was being serious.” he propped his head up as he chuckled. Now he hovered slightly above you, elbow resting near the side of your head. He inhales the September breeze as he takes in all of you. “Though I am considering just being a musician. I might have an opportunity in line to be able to do that. To make music.”

You lie with lax on the grass bedding. You noticed that only one side of his face was shone on by twilight. You might have been staring for too long, because then he’d let his lips fall on your forehead, and then down to your lips. Your eyes glittered with the reflection of the stars in them. But he figured, it might be just the image they held. There was no need for stars, or moons, or the sun for you to light up his world. Later that night, his uncle had to come in and retrieve him. His uncle with wounds and dark purple bruises, all of which were now faded. Change had played after your birthday party. Even if it didn’t seem like it, the change was all for the better —even for Anton’s uncle. That night after your birthday party, he admits to his feelings. And your mom granted him closure. It was better than nothing anyways. 

The night Anton was fetched from the backyard of your home —the same place where you held your eighth birthday— his uncle finally told him the tragic tale of his greatest love. Once upon a time, his uncle and your mother were like you and him, but sadly fate had worked against them. He had gone away for work. The distance, the time, overwhelmed their love. It plummets quickly after a long time of losing contact. Then your mother had you. Anton’s uncle would assure him that there was beauty in it all, and it was you. It was insinuated that both you and Anton were brought down to earth from the heavens to be with each other. Still, fear proved to be man’s greatest enemy. 

With only a very few inches left to seventeen, he took strides. It was hard to keep up even with your hands enclosed with his. You took steps that were just right. But right beside you was him leaping forward to the inevitable. He had you in his arms when he contemplated. It was nothing to contemplate about, he had to tell you. But he feared that his farewell would be the last. What if history repeats itself? what if he leaves today and tomorrow you would no longer love him? he was already grieving over what he could only foresee in his nightmares. Even if his body was as warm as spring, he was cold. You could feel it. 

“What’s wrong Ton?” he felt guilt dawning down on him for causing that much worry to you. 

“I just have a lot in my mind.” like deja vu, he’d jump slightly from where he sat. He came back to that day in the music room. You played valse sentimentale, he remembered being so lovestruck with how perfect you played, even after finding out it was of great emotion from your fear of losing him. He couldn’t even remember that girl’s name. “I’m moving back to Korea.”

“You passed the audition?” you were genuinely happy for him. But then again, you had expected it. You never doubted his abilities. He is still his harshest critic. “That’s great! you’d have a chance at making music, like you always dreamed of.”

But at night when he dreamed, he saw paradise. He saw you. He had brought those dreams under the light of day. He thought about it whilst he meddled with his cello. He thought about it while he studied. He had even smiled so foolishly in the shower imagining it occurring in real life. That dream he had was under the moonlight. Maybe it was because of that night in your backyard, but in his dream you weren’t on grass. You were at some place small. It wasn’t exactly cramped per say, but it wasn’t of great space either. It was nothing important at first. He was more focused with the light that bounced off the skin on your face. When he dreamed of it again, it fed his fears. You were all tears in this dream. He wondered if he was seeing the future. There were no words spoken. It made it hard for him to decipher what that dream meant. It kept him awake for more hours than he should've. He could only hope it wasn’t a foreshadowing of a fallout. 

At the departure area of the airport is where you held him with all the vigor you had left in you. You were both seventeen already. Now he was to be flown to his dreams, though it would not be the dreams he had of you. The tears had already been drained from both of you days prior, now he could only savor the remainder of his thirty-minute wait with you. 

“Take care, Ton.” you utter against his temple so softly as your fingers brushed his hair. “I know they’ll take good care of you there too.”

“I wish I could be with you.” he had his eyes closed, head lying on your shoulder. He had his whole weight on you, but it was very much the opposite of a heavy burden. “You could take care of me better than anyone.”

You lightly pushed his shoulder that hung in the open whilst giggling. And he smiled against the scent of your cologne. The smell was sweet. It could’ve been because he was so convinced sweet is just what you are. But even so, he drowned in it. The thirty minutes was up, and he was headed for the sky. With exchanged I love yous and a lengthy farewell, he was off. He was in no mood for the plane movies. He had the memories he’s made with you that he kept on rewind in his head as he flew. He had dozed off, soon he was dreaming again. He woke up from it. He saw you in a dress, like the one you liked to wear when you were kids. Blue with the bows. Missing you was dreadful, but maybe, just maybe, landing would be a little nicer. Then it would be a little easier for his longing to subside. 

He was training all over again. It was none like swimming, but there were even more restrictions. Have a consistent diet. Never miss practice. Monthly evaluations are held every month’s end, and do not miss it. No sneaking out, and most importantly, no dating. But there was no rule stating he couldn’t miss you, there was no rule that stated he should break up with you. All he had to do was bear a secret. It was easier said than done, but he made it work. He had too. Only seeing and hearing you through his screen was incomparable to having you in real life. If he had a superpower, it would be being able to teleport. He wanted to so badly when he had called you as you studied for your midterms. You listened to his tales of training, how his fellow trainees were and all. You were being so good to him, he just wanted to have his arms around you again. To console you from the thousand words you read through while still having ears open for him. You were now eighteen. It’s been a year. Growing tired of this setting was not inside both of you. You would both treat it like the new normal now, but it was anything to keep your boat stable. 

“I miss you so much. I want to go home. But they say I can’t. Not yet.” he hugged himself like how he saw you with yourself. You had your own arms around your body, trying to make it up as his. But it wasn’t the same. Painful is all it was, but he was there right in front of you. Not quite for being on the screen of your laptop, but he was there. 

“I miss you too.” was all you could say. You hoped he could sense your yearning through what he could see from his own screen. 

It’s his smile that told you he yearns for you just as much, if not more. “I’ll visit you as soon as I can.” he wanted to see your face taking in the light of your surroundings again. He wanted to feel your gentle skin and your silk hair again. Its ghost lingered on his fingers that held onto his sides. “I love you, sweet.”

“I love you too, Ton.” you wondered if he could see it. Your eyes brimmed with water, but you were yet to let it fall. And you wouldn’t be able to when his smile grew wider. Your lips curved, an imitation of his. 

You were off to college when he told you he was up for debut. Not exactly where his dreams lie, but it was the closest he could get. An idol. He fits the job well you thought. You knew people would love him, though not as much as you did. You’d be his number one fan, always. It was when you had fixed your dorm room when he called you, gushing about the guys he was going to debut with, all while he tried to scan around where you were. It’s where he could’ve been too. Now it’s quite an impossibility. 

“I bet you’re even more handsome than all six of them combined.” you furrowed your brows in jest, determined to have him keep him show you his underlying confidence. 

“You’re reaching.” you’d both laugh as his obviously quoted response. “But thank you. You must be telling the truth. You always stare at me.”

You guffawed even if he was stating facts. “Yeah, but you must’ve known by then that I was only imitating you. You’ve had your eyes on me, since like, what? since we were children right?” 

He hummed an approval to your question. Art imitates life. You were the most beautiful painting, the only worthwhile movie, and the most pleasant song. You were all of those that depicted the love he had for life. His own and yours. “You’re so beautiful and sweet. I want to see you so bad.”

You’ve always wondered why he called you sweet, my sweet, he’d often say referring to you, or to call for you. But his words and the way his eyes worked around you, the way the ends of his lips rose for you, it was telling. It told you everything there is to know. You thought maybe it was his influence that had driven you to study psychology. He also couldn’t believe what he was hearing when you told him about your major. It was again, something he wasn’t able to foresee before. If him being an idol seemed like a stretch, you studying psychology would’ve been a reckless swing that went thirty miles off your expectations. You thought psychology was intriguing. Though you really didn’t need the books to understand Anton, you wanted to study the nature of man. Would it be possible that there’s anyone in this world as precious as he could be?

Other than that, you wanted to understand dreams. Dreams vary for everyone, and there are dreams people share, dreams that carry definitions that are listed in websites and reiterated in YouTube videos or in mini series of shorter videos on TikTok. You wanted to have a deeper understanding of how it worked. Where sometimes it’s sheer symbolism, and other times it’s a vision of the future. The people that you studied with were so different yet held much of the same curiosity as you. You were all aware that it was nothing fantastical. It was a bearing of life. And it was what made it beautiful. You found friends in them. You would always mention a lover that had ventured off to pursue his dreams. But you weren’t allowed to say his name, or what he did. All to avoid any mishaps in the future. It was something Anton would thank you for, even though he wished both you and him could show off each other like you did with the superficial belongings you wore. But it wouldn’t be superficial for him, it would be a yell to the world that you were for him just as he was for you. 

Your dreams were always so specific. One night you had dreamed of the skylight at the airport. A year later you saw the same view. Another pivotal moment was from your childhood. You had dreamt of a boy, the one that lived from across your house. He ate cake with you on the patio. Days later you sat next to him as dusk approached, munching on what was left of your birthday cake. Last night you had a dream. It was somewhere you couldn’t recognize. It was long after the day had fallen and the sky drew black. Anton was there, and he cried. He held your hand so closely to his chest too. He said something, but it came out blurry. When you tried to speak for yourself, you woke up. Taking another breath, dewdrops escaped your eyes. It was one that led you to exert more effort on your studies. To understand what that dream meant. Because if it were the future talking to you, it could be something very dear or it could be the end of something beautiful. 

Your doubts would get the better of you. Your calls would mostly be just staring into the light of your screens, and the talk couldn’t be anymore typical. He grew more and more insecure by the day, what if his fears were being answered? but it should not be be that way, he could still talk to you every night and whenever he could. Things shouldn’t end like how it did for his uncle. A phonecall and a cold evening was all it took for you to realize how much your thoughts ate both of you up. 

“I think I can go home for my birthday.” it was an unsure statement, but he sounded firm. He was turning nineteen, and close to debuting too. And before giving his life away to stardom, he wished to spend all time possible with you. 

The look in your eyes made his heart shrink, and it almost came crashing down when you told him, “You should spend your birthday with your dad, your family. I’m gonna be very busy, Ton.” you voice was as gloomy as the view outside his window. “It’s study season, but I’ll keep contact with you.” your gloom washed over him, but still he was thankful that you didn’t say you would just try, but you will.

He wouldn’t reply but, but instead you’d see him just staring. He did it the way he always would with you. Back when you were still close enough to see even the smallest cracks of your faces. 

“I have something for you too. To which adress Ton?” when you lift your head up from your paper, you were met with the reflection of his screen in his glossed eyes. “Ton?”

“Dorms.” it was one word, and you still heard the crack in his voice. 

“Anton, I really wish I could see you too. But It would just be this time. After this you can see me whenever you’re available.” he felt your hands holding his cold ones. He felt warmth that wasn’t there. “I love you, so, so much.”

“I love you more.” he did truly. And he was dying to prove it to you, and to the world. 

It was a busy week, for you and for him. He was subjected to hours of practice, and he used it to distract himself from the dread. He was deprived greatly of your loving. But he knew you struggled too. He knew college didn’t treat you fairly. That’s why you were always on late-night calls. Even if you fell asleep he’d stay. For a while he’s looking over you. And after a few blinks he’s off to dreamland. His last dream kept repeating, over and over again. He tried his best to not let it show through his speech and his face. His face that everyone paid him great attention for. It was hard, painful even. His eyes, instead of tracing the lines of your lips, were tracing the lines of the practice room mirrors.

At nineteen, he woke up. He got up from the left side of his bed, where there was less space. His foot hit one end of his bedside table. He winced, but it was not one for grumbles. He walked to the bathroom, then he brushed his teeth. He had to look again because he thought his toothbrush changed colors. It did, and it was Sungchan’s. He brushed his teeth again, this time minding the colors whilst he thought of how he would explain the whole incident —or if he should even explain at all. He got behind the shower curtains just for a quick wash. After that he’d go back to his room to slip in some practice clothes. Once his loose hoodie had gone over his head, his eyes stumbled upon the calendar. It was his birthday. Almost forgot. He was off to practice, not minding the date. It was just like any other day, or birthday for that matter. Even then it seemed like nobody even knew it was his birthday. So he figured there was no point to dither. 

He was nineteen when he was given heavy scolding for not being precise with his dancing. It wasn’t the first time, but this has been the worst he’s ever gotten. Everyone was not aware of the heavy load he’s been carrying in his heart. Their dance teacher’s yell would make it even heavier. The six others were supposed to come out with a cake with three candles, and balloons that read ‘19’. After a few times of brushing back his hair with his fingers and fighting back the tears. And when the first drop seeped out, he stood up from the floor and with staggered steps, he got out of that place. He was off somewhere, where he had dreamt of. 

He thought that place in his dreams was utter imagination. But it was real. Maybe he did see the future. But you weren’t there, on the balcony of his room. The balcony faced another building that shunned all others. All he could really do was look up. He ignored the countless notifications that came pouring out of his lockscreen. It got too much that he’d silent his phone, turning on the do-not-disturb function. Before he could lock his phone though, he’d stare at his wallpaper. It was a photo of you, a very discreet one at that. It showed only a small portion of your face. Your wispy lashes and the curvature of your nose. And your eyes. His reflection when he took the photo was caught in it. And he was smiling, the way he should’ve been for his birthday. But now all he could think about was his uncle’s story. Despite the assurances that pointed to all directions that led him to you, he felt as if one day he’d be forcing himself to forget. But he could never forget you. Not even by great force. A ringing would dawn in his head. It took another drop of salt before he realized that the ringing was from the doorbell of their complex. 

It was not his first time answering the door. And he counted, from his room to there, it took sixteen steps. It always made him reminisce about that day in the music room. How you thought he’d be interested in anyone else that was not you. He had no space in his heart for any more interests because it’s filled with you and the music you both grew up loving —but never as much as you grew to love each other. He’d count his first step out of his room as one. He wondered if it would be his angered manager or his worried groupmates that would come through the door. Two. He was already wary of the consequences. Six. His birthday is long gone now, all he could think about was how he was going to explain himself. Twelve. Or maybe if he should call you late at night. Fourteen. He hoped once he’s dialed you, it won’t go straight to your inbox. Fifteen. He remembered you said you would send him a gift. Maybe, just maybe, it’s your gift waiting for him behind that muted door. Sixteen. The door opens slowly. He expects a box, small, big, anything. Or maybe he’d a screeching yell, or stressed apologies. 

When he’d the door was barely a peek and wide open, he saw blue. Blue, but somehow bright and lively. A pair of glittery eyes. And lips of his favorite color —coral pink. A hug is what he’d receive, and his eyes would continue to dispense his sorrows. He held you, like it was the first time all over again. And he led you to his room’s balcony, while still holding a box. He’d looked at you, like it was the first time. It felt like back when your houses faced each other. When he followed the same routine religiously, every single day, just so he could open that door the same time you would yours. He was happy that he’s able to let his eyes draw along your features. At the same time he was terrified. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream.”

Tears swelled from his eyes. You tried your best to keep your jubilance, but your grin falters when you catch a glimpse of his dreaded countenance. “It’s not, Ton.”

You placed a hand on his cheek, and it was warm. He touched it with his own, and you’d flinch with how cold he was. He brought your hand from his cheek to his lips, leaving his fervor on your skin with a kiss. Suddenly you were brought to tears. The scene was all too familiar. An instance of deja vu. 

“I’m not dreaming?” almost in a sob, he’d ask you. His eyes pierced through your psyche, not harshly, but like he begged. You pulled him close to you, and there after a wistful eternity, he felt your silken lips against his. 

Forever is only possible in fiction, but he believed there was forever in you, and he sought for it in your essence. He felt like he was going crazy, and from chilling, you felt his body grow hotter as he lost himself in you. 

With a gentle push, he pulled away. But almost in a whine, he utters, “Why?” he wanted to cry again when he heard that sugared giggle of yours.

“Calm down, Ton.” you reply, still tittering at him. 

His hands cupped your face as he peppered it with kisses from your forehead to your chin. And he ends it with a kiss to your lips. “This is the best gift ever.” his breath crashed with yours, sending heatwaves to your rosy faces.

“Actually, your dad helped get here.” you kept your voice low, laying your head on his chest. “He was worried. Your group mates were messaging him too. They asked if you were home.” his eyes would dilate just enough as he hears for you. His fingers found their way through your hair. He’s never seen or felt anything like it before. “I don’t know if I should be saying this, but they meant to prank you. It’s a part of the surprise.” he heard him breathe a little louder. 

“They yelled at me for a prank —to surprise me?” he stammered with his words. His mellow voice made you nuzzle closer to him. “The prank didn’t work.”

“Yeah. I know.” you pulled away from his embrace. You faced him once you were sat up. “You’re debuting soon.”

“If soon is September, then yeah.” his eyes grew larger, and he could see an image of the stars in your backyard. “It’s our anniversary.” you gave him a weak nod, the next second your eyes released a river. He hurriedly swiped his thumb over them, “I’ll try my best to be around. It’s a busy month.” 

He was perplexed with how you laugh at yourself, replacing his hands with your own and wiping the tears away. “I thought we’re breaking up.” he made you yelp with how quick he got you enclosed in his arms again. 

“No, no. I can keep a secret. You can too.” you felt the movement in his throat as he gulped. He was choking back tears. “No one’s breaking up. Not in this universe.”

He allowed for your tears to continue falling on his forearms, it was hot, but forgiving. “I dreamt about this very moment. I thought it meant something bad. Because in there you were crying like earlier, and I felt so bad…” he ends your sobs with another kiss. 

“I did too.” he felt his fears creeping up behind him, but they would all go away when he met eyes with the girl he fell in love with through his living room window. “I dreamed about it every night, thought about it everyday. And I dreamed of a future where we’d share a cake on our own patio.”

His presence was like a meadow, so peaceful and warm, and comforting. His dream of eating cake with you like you had back then made you laugh louder than before, and he took it all in, making sure no other sounds drowned out his favorite song. 

He still wondered about what lies beyond the darkness of night, how dreams choose their explorers and nightmares crawled for their victims. But now he understood where dreams lie with him. Sometimes what seemed like a nightmare waiting to happen might just be a glimpse of his sweetest dreams. That dream he had where he thought you’d be there to end it all with him, it had only driven him to finally grasp on what it meant to dream. It was what his heart truly wanted. 

Maybe that dream was bound to come true. Because at nineteen, he received the biggest surprise of his life. And he ate a coral-pink cake with the girl that used to live from across his house. He believed it was foreshadowing, but still, he had it in him to make it come true. 

≈

Dreams could be a symbol of some psychological conflict we’re having within ourselves, but on the night of March 21st, year 2023, I found out that it could be a vision of the future. Though it would be discreet, just enough for you to have it mistaken as a future barricade. I may be wrong, I could’ve been just lucky to have someone as passionate about dreams as I am —I got this passion from him anyways— but the best way to deal with the weight it forces upon us is to just let it play out. It could be the catalyst for the dreams you’re set to build. I dream of owning a home, with a wealthy meadow, with blue and pink butterflies. I want a patio where it would be a comfort to lie and stargaze, where it will be comfortable to eat too. Because my fiancé loves cake, but he loves me even more. (Y/s/n. To Live A Dream. 2039)

≈

End.

what if this is a true story tho very late bday post for anton my loveydoves <3

[cannedpickledpeaches]

Insert Your Name (1)

Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader

Link to series masterlist!

Notes and TW: I wanted to write something that simultaneously includes some fun Jade moments as well as my own thoughts on some tropes. This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!

You’ve known the truth for a while—that this world exists inside a story. This is a world that revolves around a nameless, faceless, flawless main character. This entire world around you exists to serve one purpose: to present trials to the main character until she eventually finds a happy ending with her one and only. This world is created for “(Y/N).”

You are Friend A. Friend A is a foolish girl who puts (Y/N) into a dangerous situation, involving her with the mafia. (Y/N) is saved by a tall, dark, and brooding man who turns out to be a mafia boss. They will face dangers in the underworld until all threats are eliminated, and then they will live out the rest of their lives in blissful peace as though they are good people. Friend A is never mentioned again after page two.

You are Friend A. You are aware of that.

So why don’t you break out of your role in this story? Why should you play your part instead of using this knowledge to change the flow of the plot?

Simply because the plot is beneficial to you.

You are Friend A. You are a core member of the Leech Mafia. When (Y/N) enters the mafia, her actions flick the first domino of a long chain of events, eventually leading to the prosperity of the Leech family and expanding their influence. Because no matter what, this story caters to (Y/N)’s livelihood.

And why should you interfere with something that will eventually pay out big for you?

There she is now, coming down the street with a smile. Her indistinct hair is in a messy bun that she always throws together in seconds. Her pants emphasize her incredibly tiny waist, and her eyes sparkle with the light of constellations when she sees you. A light blush dusts her cheeks even though she doesn’t wear makeup, and she passes all the people captivated by her on the sidewalk, oblivious to their stares, because she doesn’t believe in her innate beauty and charisma—the beauty and charisma that the story says she has.

“Oh, there you are!” Her voice, clear and sweet, rings out to you. You wave back, just as you are supposed to. “You said you wanted to get sweets from the bakery that just opened, right? I’m so excited. I love sweets! I saved up some money just for this.”

A dialogue line full of exposition. You nod and lead the way.

“Have you seen their Magicam posts? The cakes are so pretty.”

Her giggles chime like bells. “I think the strawberry one is the cutest!”

Your small talk has little to no substance. It exists only to pass the time. To be honest, you don’t mind. If this were any normal day, you would have enjoyed this. You would have visited that bakery with (Y/N), gone home with a strawberry tart, checked up on the ledgers for the mafia, and slept while fed and content. But today is the inciting incident of the story, and you have your part to play.

A dark alleyway is where these things always take place in stories. Four men smoking and muttering ominously to themselves lean against a brick wall, hidden in shadow. Their eyes follow your every step. You make sure to walk on the outside of the sidewalk so that (Y/N) passes by the alley. As expected, their hands shoot out and grab her arm.

“Hey, you there.” One of the thugs licks his chops. “Got a minute to spare, pretty thing?”

Generic “bad guy” dialogue. Of course, he’s talking to (Y/N). You don’t need to do anything yet except make sure the pieces are in place. A flutter of black fabric in the corner of your vision assures you that the main lead is ready and waiting.

“Get your hands off me!” (Y/N) struggles against his much stronger grip to no avail. The men pull us into the alleyway and corner us against a dumpster. Tasteful.

“Don’t be so harsh.” Another thug whose voice scrapes like glass shards to the ears grabs your shoulder. You don’t shrug him off. Right now, your role is to lay low and let the main character shine. “We just wanna show you a good time.”

“You can fuck right off! And don’t touch my friend.” (Y/N) shows off her generically headstrong personality now. She probably thinks that she should protect you. You are Friend A, without any special characteristics, a piece of cannon fodder that cannot do anything on your own. Even though (Y/N) doesn’t consciously think that way, this is how she perceives the world. She is not wrong for doing so—she’s being sweet, in the way that she is designed to be.

You don’t have anything to do while she shoots off her scathing remarks, so you take your time to observe the thugs. Just as the story you read describes, these men come from an easily identifiable rival mafia. All four have a tattoo of a handsaw on their bodies—the symbol of the Carpenter Mafia, the current major group in the Queendom of Roses. Common soldiers, no doubt. Not anyone of importance . . . yet.

Thug Number One brings your attention back to the conversation by yanking on your hair. It hurts a little. Irritating, but you can bear with it. (Y/N) looks outraged.

“How about this? Since you’re so determined to save your friend, I’ll let her go if you give yourself to us.” He continues with his harassment by grabbing your cheeks with his grimy fingers. You inhale deeply and immediately regret it due to the smell of his breath. Your mind urges you to refrain from giving him a nice fist to the face. Not just from his treatment of you, but also from his gross proposition to (Y/N). Despite your respective roles in this story, she is still your friend. Hearing him throw those slimy words at her leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

(Y/N) puts up a struggle. “I won’t give you anything!”

“Do you think you’re in a position to make demands?”

She hesitates, looking at you with conflicting emotions warring on her features. Takes a deep breath, just as the story says she would. Then, with a wavering voice and a tough façade, she agrees.

You take your cue to run from the alleyway, abandoning her the way Friend A is meant to do. You don’t have to worry. After all, the thugs won’t be able to do anything before the male lead steps in and saves her.

There isn’t much time to waste until you get an update on the story. You hail a taxi to a neighbourhood by the sea. You tip the driver handsomely, bid him a good day, then walk another block before arriving at a mansion. There’s nobody here to greet you except the security guards at the front gates.

You scan the trees. Looks like he’s in a good mood. When he’s upset, he doesn’t usually climb. He hasn’t noticed you yet—his back is turned, his head buried in a particularly thick patch of leaves, and you’re downwind.

“Floyd!”

He turns so suddenly that you’re worried he’ll get whiplash. A grin lights up his face, and without a single reservation, he jumps right off the tree and lands smoothly on your side of the fence surrounding one of the Leeches' many properties. The sun shines across his handsome, sharp features. Of course, the twin brother of the male lead must be gorgeous in accordance with the axioms that govern this world.

“Handfish, how was it? Did Jade meet her?” Even though you are Friend A in this story, to Floyd, you are just his friend. He hasn’t given you a generic nickname like the “minnows” that he calls the family’s soldiers and staff. To him, you are an individual who is interesting enough to grant a personal nickname. Even if that nickname is “Red Handfish.”

“Yeah, he did. I saw his blazer.” You think back to the black fabric you saw before entering the alley. “I bet he’s doing the whole ‘I can’t let you live’ conversation with her.”

In the story, one of the thugs reveals Jade’s identity as a mafia boss in front of (Y/N) before he passes out. How a common foot soldier of the Carpenter mafia can recognize Jade, whose face is kept classified from lower-ranked members of the underworld, is worrying enough to warrant investigation. This could simply be a result of poor writing from the original plot, but you are also an example of the original story’s loose ends. If someone like you, who was meant to disappear after page two, can still have any significance and will instead of vaporizing immediately after you left that alley, then you can’t be too careful.

“Bet he’s being real smooth with it.” Floyd cackles, his raspy laugh reminding you of a chain smoker after five consecutive packs. “She’s gonna fall for it hook, line, and sinker.”

“Of course. We’re talking about Jade.” Even under regular circumstances, he’s charming enough to lure any poor, unsuspecting fool to their demise. “They’re going to come here any minute now. Let’s go inside.”

You pass the security guards and enter the Leech property. A perfectly paved ground with colourful stones and not a weed in sight. A marble fountain surrounded by neat, rectangular hedges. And of course, the enormous white mansion with huge double doors, which in turn have proportionally huge fancy glass windows. For (Y/N) to have a “perfect” ending, the world must allow her to escape her current life of scrimping and saving by marrying her into a wealthy family.

“I wonder what the little minnow looks like.” Floyd hums, sauntering into the living room. “I bet she’d break easily if I squeezed real hard, huh?”

“Don’t do that.” The two of you sit on a velvet couch. Floyd’s long limbs sprawl out and take up the majority of the space. You settle on the far end. “And are you going to keep calling her a minnow?”

“Dunno, haven’t met her yet.”

“She’s very pretty. When you meet her, I’m sure you’ll get the feeling that there’s something special about her.”

The story emphasizes how much Floyd adores (Y/N). She is supposed to become a sort of mood stabilizer for him, keeping him consistently happy in her presence. You wonder if that will actually happen. Floyd can and will throw tantrums around people he holds dear. His mood that flips at the drop of the hat seems difficult to stabilize on just affection alone.

He shrugs non-committedly. Just as you’re about to suggest a nickname he could use, your phone buzzes.

Five minutes away. Jade’s text is short and to the point. You stand and stretch, getting ready to play Peeping Tom.

“Remember, don’t say anything about the original plot, okay?” Floyd’s unpredictable nature worries you. You know that your reminder won’t do much if Floyd decides it would be fun to spill the beans anyway, but you can’t help yourself.

“I know, I know.” He frowns and waves you off. Laughing, you move to the room across the hall. He hates being told what to do, but he’s in a good mood right now. It won’t be a problem.

The front door creaks open. Through a crack in the door, you watch Jade carry (Y/N) in his arms like a princess and set her down on the couch. Smooth, easy, efficient, the way he likes to do everything. Even though you know he is acting, his movements, the soft look in his eyes, are almost believable to you. And you’ve known him for fifteen years. There’s an odd stirring in your chest. Guilt? Envy? You tamp it down.

For a fraction of a second, you swear you make eye contact with him. If he notices you, he doesn’t show it. He seems to redouble his efforts on acting sweet to (Y/N). It might just be your imagination.

Floyd pokes around at the two of them the way he always does when he’s curious about something new. His grating laugh fills the air while Jade bandages a scrape on her knee. Good, the scene is going exactly as described in the story. (Y/N)’s first colourful and memorable experience with her future family. Her new family must be fun, rich, kind to her, and love her unconditionally no matter the circumstances. Her new family has to be better in every way compared to her current one—a mother who passed away at childbirth and a scummy father who neglects her. For an author, these are simply lazy ways to give her a tragic backstory and simultaneously pretend her parents don’t exist for the rest of the story because they don’t add to the romance.

How horrible. How could a late mother and neglectful father not affect a person? How could they simply be written off as another thing the male lead “saves” her from? And for that matter, how can the author casually write in a scene where she is cornered by adult men who are physically far stronger than her, who harass her and make disgusting comments, just so she can meet the male lead? How can they just pretend that won’t lead to any trauma?

You know firsthand how (Y/N) lives her life, because despite the story labeling you as the disposable Friend A, you genuinely have been her friend for the past year. You’ve seen her live on plain rice porridge for days to cut grocery costs. You’ve seen her wear clothes until they are threads because she can’t afford to buy new ones. Oh, but isn’t it wonderful that she’s skinny and looks good in everything?

What a load of bullshit.

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in June 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup [ @1dmonthlyficroundup ] which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #63 |  ko-fi | fic recs

- Louis/Harry -

💜 Eight Cakes and Two Eulogies (Make a Happy Marriage) by yesllliam

(M, 135k, friends to lovers) The only problem is, after his last disastrous relationship, seven years ago, he has little desire to get intimate with another woman, let alone marry one. Of course, Harry, his famous actor of a best friend, always likes to pip in that he is free to marry him and while Louis loves him to pieces, the joke is getting a bit old now.

💜 I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) by @lululawrence

(NR, 74k, soulmates) Harry and Louis are literal stars who have known they were soulmates from their creation eons ago, however when Louis came to Earth to start the next phase of their fated future, he forgot everything. Even Harry.

💜 Scarred by @allwaswell16

(E, 23k, omegaverse) When Harry inadvertently rejects him as his soulmate, Harry has no idea he's doomed Louis to a slow, painful death. Pride doesn't keep Louis from telling Harry the truth. But love does.

💜 Lost But Won by @2tiedships2

(NR, 16k, omegaverse) When Harry loses his passport after a weekend trip to see Niall, the inconvenience of being stranded in America becomes a little more bearable after meeting Louis. Or a lot more bearable.

💜 Safe place to hide us away by @lunarheslwt

(T, 12k, omegaverse) weighed down by everyday stress, alpha Harry takes up nesting in secret. It takes a load of missing clothes and unravelling lies for him to realise that his omega would love and accept him no matter what.

💜 Beep the Horn by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo

(T, 6k, love confessions) the one where Harry dresses as Miley Cyrus for Halloween, and Louis is the tiniest bit in love with him.

💜 Take My Hand, Dumbass by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 5k, roommates) There's only alpha dorms at university, and Louis Tomlinson, omega, refuses to pay the exorbitant fees to live off campus. So, four years pretending to be an alpha it is! That'll be easy.

💜 Missed Chances by @harryanthus-annuus

(E, 5k, omegaverse) they get drunk on some expensive wine. Things escalate from there.

💜 Puppy (Baby, I'm Pawfect for You) by @yoursolosong

(E, 5k, roommates) The one where they rescue a stray puppy together.

💜 Louis and the no good, very bad day by @haztobegood

(E, 4k, soulmates) Louis collapses back into the bed with a groan. Just when he thought his day couldn’t get any worse, there’s a fucking goose stuck on his balcony.

💜 Switching the positions for you by 28sunflowers / @vintageumbroshirt

(E, 4k, omega Louis) the omegaverse AU where they decide to try a completely new position in bed

💜 Come On and Rescue Me by @kingsofeverything

(E, 3k, silver fox Louis) Louis only intends to watch his hot neighbor’s Instagram live, but he winds up with his hand down his pants.

💜 Timeless by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt

(G, 3k, omegaverse) After visiting an antiques shop, Harry gets transported through time, and discovers that he and Louis are Timeless.

💜 I'll Still Feel the Same Around You by @crinkle-eyed-boo

(E, 2k, established relationship) Louis finds the cure for his insomnia in the form of his husband.

💜 call me any, anytime by @disgruntledkittenface

(E, 2k, girl direction) Harry’s plans for the night are interrupted by an unexpected FaceTime call.

💜 Feelin' So Good Right Now by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(E, 1k, Vampire Diaries au) Louis, a just-turned vampire, enjoys his enhanced touch sensation.

💜 Remember Me (When I'm With You) by liberty_barnes / @liberty-barnes

(T, 1k, memory loss) the one where Louis was cast out and Harry just wants him to be happy

💜 cause you're a sky full of stars by @femstyles

(G, 1k, uni) A film student on campus randomly stops Harry and asks him to participate in her assignment. Little does he know that agreeing also means putting his heart on the line.

💜 Don’t Embarrass Me, Motherfucker by @allwaswell16

(T, 1k, parrot) Harry comes home from work to find Louis and their parrot are up to something. A Darcy the Parrot time stamp Part 2 of That's How I Know

- Rare Pairs -

💜 You Only Fall In Love Twice by @beanno28

(E, 57k, Harry/Louis/Zayn) Louis meets popstar Harry Styles while he is working at a festival and they hit it off right away. When he is introduced to Harry’s boyfriend, Zayn, Louis is invited to learn about their world of Polyamory.

💜 Third Time Lucky by @beanno28

(E, 31k, Harry/Louis/Zayn) Louis sat back, his back resting on the cushion of the sofa. Harry and Zayn were quick to lay their heads on Louis’ chest so Louis could wrap an arm around each of them. Part 2 of You Only Fall In Love Twice

💜 It's You by @allwaswell16

(T, 2k, Louis/Louis) Five times alpha Louis talks to omega Lou and one time he admits he wants more from his omega clone

💜 The Tiniest Moves by @allwaswell16

(T, 1k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Coffee shop owner Nick Grimshaw may or may not have come to work on his day off in the hopes that fresh-off-his-world-tour Louis Tomlinson might stop by.

💜 A Meeting of Minds (and other things too) by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 1k, Zayn/Liam) Zayn's fed up, Liam's a bartender, and maybe they'll both get what they need.

[twistedbloodstain]

marquis de gramont x assistant!reader: i breathe flames each time i talk | love’s not supposed to be easy.

plot: the one where he has you but at what cost?

warnings: kidnapping, coercion, dubious consent, guys this has went for a dark turn :(, none of them gets any peace

masterlist

shards of glass fly through the wall behind him, vincent bites his tongue from cursing, a slightly frustrated frown slowly making its way to his face. he stops himself from visibly sighing or showing any sign of his genuine worry over another expensive irreplaceable vase broken on the floor.

instead, he worries about the best possible way to diffuse the situation in front of him.

which is you.

you, who he is irrevocably in love with. the person he wants most more than anything in this world, you’re the sweet heaven placed on this earth that was meant to be cherished by him, you who gave him the captivating feeling of affection.

you taught him to know what it was like to find a piece of himself he’s yearned for in years, a part that he denied to have existed in fear of being weak and vulnerable oh but no, you make him feel the other way around. when he feels your presence and grace, he feels like salvation and strength has entered the room itself.

you make him feel safe, in a way. he feels at peace when he’s with you. all his heedless ambition stood no chance against having you in his life the moment you almost died for him in that fateful night. he felt the need to immediately shelter you from the cruel world, he wouldn’t offer the universe a chance to take you away from him ever again. vincent swore he would cherish you, make every second of your life a sweet memory for the rest of your lives together. he took you to keep you safe and happy, he swears even if you don’t realize that you need it.

which is why what faces him, hurts him as much as it hurts you.

you’re standing at least a few meters away from him next to the table filled with saccharine fruits and decorated cakes, your form shaking from fear. earlier you had just grabbed the nearest vase and threw it at him the second he stepped into the room to join you for a quick snack. tears were already slipping down your cheeks as small sobs escaped your lips, the soft satin gray dress wrapped around your body made you look like a goddess on earth. it was the first thing that entered his mind before he noticed the projectile being flung to his face, thankfully he managed to dodge it in time and the vase smashed into the wall behind him.

 he doesn’t know why this is happening.

or maybe he does. vincent is not a blind man to the truth, he does not relish in the bliss ignorance offers. he thinks anyone who enjoys that form of bliss is a coward who refuses to deal with reality. after all, if you’re dealing with a rather difficult predicament you wish to resolve, you need to face the hard truths and all plausible cards at hand. ignorance cannot play a part into it.

but when he looks at you, he realizes why people place themselves into that situation. he asks the same questions and pretends he doesn't know why you’ve thrown vases at him, why your tears only seem to drip when he’s in the room for the past two weeks. all truths he spurns to know.

“my love? what’s wrong?” he begins, vincent takes a step forward and reaches his hand out to you, a shard cracks as it was crushed under the weight of his foot, you eye him warily and instantly flinch to step back.

“no. stay away from me.” you scream. “don’t come any closer.”

“you know i can’t even if i wanted to.” he whispers looking into your eyes, he doesn’t listen to your words and takes a step closer. it makes things worse as another sob leaves your body.

“don’t bullshit me! in all my years i’ve worked with you, i know if you wanted to, you would.” you reply, “you just won’t try hard enough!”

“why do you find it so hard to accept?” he questions, frustration getting the better of him. he walks straight to you, startled by his sudden movements, you stammer on your feet but he gets to you quick, he grips your arms and holds you close.

 “mon amour, every man on this earth could attempt to pry you away from me but i would burn this world to the ground if it meant i could return to you. i want you, i love you.” he confesses.

probably for the 20th time of the week.

“stop. stop it.” you struggle in his grip as more tears collect on your face.

“why? you have no reason to refuse me-“

“you kidnapped me! you took me from my home and locked me into your estate, i can’t even move a single finger without the guards or the maids reporting everything i do!” you struggled.

“all to keep you safe, there are people out there who want you dead. i am protecting you, mon amour.” he reasons.

“i don’t want it, i want to go home.” you beg. this is what the both of you go through everyday, sometimes it occurs during meal times like right now, but more often than not it happens the moment he comes forward to greet you a “good morning” in bed or before the both of you get ready to sleep at night.

he prefers to deal with you like this when you’re both in the confinements of his bedroom, it’s much easier to lull you with his sweet words and hold you because for a minute or two you don’t twist against and grip but rather lean into it. you don’t spit out those incomprehensible thoughts of leaving him or begging for him to let you go.

he would rather die than lose you.

“please…vincent just let me go. i want to go home, you have to let me go.” you plead, you’re now holding his wrists close up to your body. in a different scenario, he would’ve been fucking delighted to have this, to have you touch him with such softness but your words do the opposite effect as the idea of being without you sink into his sick head.

vincent takes control of his hands and brings your palms up to his lips, placing a soft kiss. he watches your reaction slowly, tears weren’t as present as it was before on your face, he likes it when you look calm it reminds him of the days the both of you spent together as boss and employee. serenity was always a good look on you.

“you are home, you’re right where you need to be…with me.” he states, “what i have to give you, my love…it shouldn’t trap you. it’s meant to make you feel the same way you make me feel but i can’t love you if you won’t help yourself.”

“if you would just let me love you, you’ll see.” 

your face contorts back to your former anguish. teardrops begin falling down again but you don’t fight to get away from him, his arms snake behind your waist as he guides you into an embrace with him. 

no matter how big of a fit you throw or how expensive of a vase you fling at him, this is how it always ends. for the two weeks you’ve spent here, hopefully you’ve realized that there is no force in this world strong enough to separate you from him. not even your tears and not even you.

you fold the velvety blanket in a slow but precise movement, your gaze locked on the person asleep on the other side of the room, suddenly hearing a loud roar of thunder crack outside your vision redirects to the large window. you hold your breath in fear of the storm abruptly waking him, thankfully it doesn’t happen and you stop mid-chore to trudge your way to the window so you could shut the curtains.

“everything is okay.” you shakily whisper to yourself.

your voice betrays you with that statement, you keep telling yourself that everything is alright, that you should be grateful that he isn’t cruel to you, that even in your rebellious and distasteful behavior for the past year he still showers you in finery and love.

it’s been awhile since you’ve thrown a fit at him. 

you took some of his words into your behavior ever since your last squabble, you tell yourself that what he has to offer is good. that maybe you’re in the wrong in this one, so for the past months no matter how much you want to resist, you don’t swat his hand away when he touches you, you don’t shove him away when he holds you and you keep your head in place when he kisses you to please him.

and god it certainly did. he already seemed to glimmer brighter when he took you back to his estate but when you stopped shoving him away, his presence was impalpable, he looked like was a king that finally had his queen.

but you? oh dear. 

all your reevaluation for your mindset did seem to work, there were moments when you enjoyed being with him. the late night dinners and touches that sometimes make your heartbeat a little too fast for your liking, his sweet words that move you which makes you think that it was too good to be true sometimes it makes you forget that he’s keeping you here against your own will.

oh.

it’s moments like these that make you stay still and cling to your fucking sanity, you want to get out of here. you do, but how? you are isolated in his home, no one in the staff treats you the same anymore they don’t listen to you unless you have a simple request. you have no one but the marquis, who is the last person that probably wants to hear about your desire to get out of here. your days are filled with him and only him, from the moment you wake up in bed he’s beside you, either in slumber or kissing you for the morning. you see him for meals three times a day until the sun sinks into the horizon where he makes love to you in the shadow of moonlight. not to mention the gallery viewing, watching operas and other superficial shit he likes.

you have no ally in here.

your form shakes and you cling to the table beside you, you want to leave so bad but every time you come up with an idea to leave it seems impossible. your former escape route has been rendered useless, you tried that the moment the marquis left you alone for the first time and it was barred shut with a guard stationed nearby. soon the marquis found out, he was livid and kept you locked in your room for a few days.

any chance of escape is hopeless even if you have no reason to want to stay here.

the storm brewing outside roars another loud burst of thunder, much louder than the previous one, the rain outside begins to shower even stronger. a cry erupts from the other side of the room and you sigh. you stare at the crib at the corner, a lamplight illuminating the dim room, you take a deep breath to compose yourself and make your way towards him.

your son.

with him.

it still makes you sick thinking about it.

you lift him into your arms and he immediately snuggles into your neck, his chubby arms slightly flailing around to feel your warmth. you shush him to sleep, whispering sweet nothings to soothe him. thankfully, his cries instantly die down and mumbles gibberish, slowly falling back to slumber. you found out you were pregnant around the time, you threw the vase at him. you felt frustrated and trapped, because how could this happen to you? 

you hold him tight, and softly swaddle him around to calm him even more. you know the saying “if there’s a will, there’s a way.”, well you had so much of that if it weren’t for the child you brought out into this world you would’ve been insistent on getting out of here. you love your son, you do. but you find it so hard to go on when the weight of a child is pulling you down from what you want.

this is the only reason why you were willing to try being with him. as if things weren’t hopeless enough for you, maybe things shouldn’t be so bad for your child. after all, vincent was quite cheerful when he found out.

you press a soft kiss to his head, whispering a gentle affirmation before tucking him back into his crib.

pushing the door to enter the inside, you reluctantly walk in. you’ve done this several times before, yet when you do it, it still doesn’t feel natural. the room was dim, little illuminessence was present and the light from your bed lamp was the only thing keep things seen. 

you walk towards the bedpost and something inside you makes you stop, a figure moves beneath the satin sheets and you hold your breath. he opens his eyes and sees you, confusion staining his expression. he immediately sits up and urges you forward.

“cherie? is something wrong?” vincent murmurs, his voice still hoarse from sleep. you don’t say anything but instead you abandon the bedpost and sit on the foot of the bed. you give him an empty stare and he stays quiet awaiting your reply.

“the storm woke him up.” you reply.

“oh? i’ll call for the nanny.” 

“don’t. i already put him back to sleep.” you mutter.

“then what seems to be the problem?” he raises his eyebrows.

you eye him like he grew a second head, matter of fact he might as well have with what he did to you.

“how-“ you start but a cry leaves your throat. tears begin to gather on your eyes, vincent alarmed with your state leans forward, “how could you do this to me?”

“what do you mean, my love?” he asks puzzled.

“what do i mean? i meant how could you do this to me!” your voice gets louder but not loud enough to be yelling, the rain outside pours even harder. 

“a year ago, i was just your assistant dealing with your meetings and setting your finery. you wouldn’t have even spared me a single glance unless you wanted a chef from monaco to cook you dinner considering i wasn’t significant enough to be known by you. i have to admit working for you was frightening but it was okay. i was alright with that.” you sob.

“this again.” he sighs.

“now, you locked me up here. a few months ago i was pregnant with your kid. mind you, even if you won’t say it i know you never wanted children. do you know how stupid this looks? how irrational and insensible this all seems? i’ve always known you to be cruel but this…this is torture. you’re playing house with my life like it’s some sick game” you reason not giving him a chance to speak.

“going through all these lengths because something in your sick head is telling you that you’re in love with me, acting like you wouldn’t discard me the moment you find me unworthy of your attention. ” you finish. he stays quiet from your little rant, dare you say a bit shocked. truth be told, it had been a while since you did this.

“what do you want me to do? tell me what to do, so i can make it better.” he demands, “i want you to be happy. i dislike seeing you miserable like this when you should be having the happiest time of your life. recently, we just had a child-“

“then let me go.” you cut him off, scooting closer to his side of the bed. you reach for his hands and he lets you, even when the expression on his face seems bitter.

“let me go home. i don’t want to be here, i feel trapped. at some point, you know that i don’t want you the same way you claim to want me. i don’t love you, i don’t think i can even if i tried my best. you need to let me leave, vincent.” you beg with all your heart.

vincent stays silent and wipes the tears on your face. he leans forward in resignation and delicately grazes his hand on your jaw making you look into him.

“my love. i don’t care how long it takes to make you realize that my feelings are genuine, that my acts aren’t based on flights of fancy, i’d spend the rest of my life proving it to you with a few more children around. you need to understand that i’m never letting you go, because i would simply die.” he whispers.

“you are mine. i am yours. not even you can deny that,  you belong to me and i, you. you are my love, i am too far gone to lose you. how many people are lucky enough to say that?”

he kisses you after that, his lips softly envelop yours and it shocks you but the feeling and taste are so familiar to you know. you don’t get the chance to say anything in return as you feel his hand dancing around your nightgown, you could feel it slowly slipping down. vincent’s hand dances around your skin, going through your curves that he’s felt before.

“and this is alright with you?” you mumble as he guides you to your back, pressing kisses on your neck.

“what is?” he pauses slightly looking up at you before continuing to leave a mark on your neck.

“that i’ll never want you…ever.” you trace your palm up to his jaw, caressing it while giving the poisonous blow.

this makes him halt all his movements and looks into you as if you’re serious. you might be.

“then i’ll have to simply have to live with it. love is never supposed to be easy.” he chuckles before kissing you again.

author’s note: this was short but enjoyed it lots bc there’s drama hehe. assistant!reader getting her licks before he goes down on her was a last minute thing…anyways if you were expecting peace and hugs from this fic hell to the nah i want angst. marquis is relentless afff. thanks for reading and pls like and reblog :)) also send some of ur requests!!

[perfectlyoongi]

ROOMMATE!JIN who went to your room just to recite some poem in the most dramatic way. there were several times when Jin would suddenly open the door to your room and start talking — no — star shouting a poem he had found on the internet. with overly flamboyant hand gestures and ever-rising and falling tone of voice, Jin brought the poems to life in the most eccentric way he could. poems of love, of loss, of oranges, no matter what soul the poem had, the truth is that Jin would always represent all its words. ending without waiting for your applause, Jin bowed and left your room without saying a word, always leaving you with a smile on your lips that lasted the rest of the day. “oh cruel fate that took you from me, but brought me to… no, wait, i was wrong. fate… brought… oh, okay, i know. let’s go from the top.”

ROOMMATE!JIN who has a color system on his bedroom door. yellow socks: Jin was sleeping in just his boxers. red sock: Jin was taking a nap. blue sock: Jin was playing. purple sock: Jin was working. white sock: you could go into Jin’s room. the list continued through so many colors and prints that you had to beg Jin to put the caption on his bedroom door. it was a small system that Jin created when the two of you first met; he was too shy to explain that there were times when he needed silence; so, Jin started wearing his different socks to show you his availability, becoming a constant detail in your home. “i already updated the caption so you don’t wake me up again. pay attention that you have blue and blue with blue. they are two different socks, okay?”

ROOMMATE!JIN who gets ready to sleep with you every night. when you decided that you had already lived all day, you would go to Jin’s room, knocking on the door three times and then walking to the bathroom. in no time, Jin was at your side, with a towel on his head, ready to wash his face and teeth in your company. you and Jin would decompress together at the end of the day, finding between the soap and toothpaste a complicity that grew with each of your rituals. exchanging plans for the next day and stories that happened that day, you and Jin were getting ready in an instant to go to bed, leaving the bathroom at the same time, saying goodbye with a small wink and a see you tomorrow. “i thought you had already forgotten me. today is late. is everything fine? did something happen?”

ROOMMATE!JIN who lights a candle whenever you have an important day. a meeting, an exam, a doctor’s appointment, it didn’t matter what was going to happen; if you had an important day for you that has been making you anxious since the beginning of the week, Jin would light a small green candle to wish you good luck. whether it was cold or very hot, Jin would go to his window sill, light the candle and say a few words in the hope of catching the attention of whatever god is in charge of protecting you. “may you be safe this day. your exam will be successful and you will not have any problems with your car inspection. today everything will be fine. today the world is on your side.”

ROOMMATE!JIN who bakes cakes with you where one of you can’t see and the other can’t talk. it was a disaster. a complete disaster. but oh, how fun it was. at the end of each attempt, you and Jin spent more time tidying up the kitchen than cooking itself, but that didn’t make any impression on you. for long minutes, you and Jin only knew how to communicate through shouts, gestures and laughter and there was no better moment in your lives than cooking together. the cake could often turn out bad, burning from time to time, not rising almost every time, but it wasn’t for the cake that you did that challenge. all you and Jin wanted was a moment of your own that couldn’t be stolen by the world — for small minutes, you and Jin were happy. “this time it’s you who doesn’t see and you will understand what i suffered last time. i’ll let you know that i’m not going to tell you whether you chose flour or sugar. good luck trying to do something decent.”

ROOMMATE!JIN who sits on the floor of your room whenever he’s bored. for a man who wanted so much and did so much, being bored was dangerous for Jin. seeing the minutes passing without having any activity to do drove Jin crazy. so when these more monotonous moments started to afflict him, Jin just went to your room and sat on the floor sometimes next to your bed, sometimes next to your desk, it all depended on where you were. and for a long time, until Jin found something to do, he would sit there, watching you work or listening to your stories. you were already used to this peculiarity of Jin, so much so that whenever you saw him sitting next to you, it was your habit to take your hand to his head and start playing with his hair. they were calm moments, something that both you and Jin cherished, especially in that house of yours that seemed to attract chaos. “the day seems so long… tell me a story. make me forget the monotony of living.”

ROOMMATE!JIN who declares himself to you when you were putting down the halloween decorations. another holiday spent, another few laughs exchanged, another story shared. when Jin held the box and followed you around the house taking out the various bats and ghosts, something took over him. for some reason, in that banality, Jin had a suffocating need to declare himself to you. could it be the spirits of the stars that placed a curse on Jin? or did Jin simply see the trigger of his heart in your smile? Jin never received an answer. he just spoke. at that moment, as equal as any other, Jin declared himself to you. “we’ve lived together long enough for me to know that you’re someone i always want in my life. because i like you, you know? i really like you.”

[heretherebedork]

It's both Day and Mhok looking for someone that wasn't looking for them in that moment but also looking for them at a different point that they didn't know about.

(Mhok was sent home by August who thought he could do what he thought he needed to do to make Day happy but the moment Day heard that Mhok was outside smoking he rushed to get to him and to get to him alone only to find nothing, to find Mhok gone.)

Day didn't see the cake that Mhok ruined, never heard August telling him he'd take care of Day, never realized that Mhok was being pushed out of his night because he thought he was playing matchmaker when the truth was that Day wanted the night out that Mhok offered with him.

The cigarette in the cake told another story that Day didn't see and that keeps happening in the show. Yes, Day's blindness is being shown to just be part of his life and he's being shown to be able to live but we are also shown, again and again, that he does miss things because he's blind. That his blindness changes his world but also the people around him... both for the better and to their detriment.

He doesn't see Mhok's heartbreak in Rung's car, he doesn't know August came to the restaurant late, he doesn't see the cake with the cigarette in it showing Mhok's choice.

And this is the power of the visual narrative of the show, the way we are shown what Day doesn't see but also what is there.

Day is living in a world that is always missing information and he must rely on the people around him to be truthful and helpful in terms of that missing information and while Mhok is mostly very good with that... he is also protecting himself and his own feelings, both his love and his grief. And that is going to be one of their greatest conflicts.

Because it is about what Mhok is willing to lie about or to cover up in order to try to make Day not happy, not the way August tried to with a kiss, but rather to keep Day comfortable in the world, insure that Day does not withdraw again.

Mhok would absolutely sacrifice his love for Day's happiness, as we've seen, but what does that mean for their future relationship? Mhok has to be able to rely on and trust Day to be able to support him and that starts from sharing the truth with him and not hiding his pain from him to comfort him.

Wow, that rambled a bit but anyway I love this show so much and I need Mhok to have at least one (1) entire mental breakdown that Day has to help him with because otherwise I will lose my mind.

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Paring: Dino x fem!reader

Requested: no

Genre: angst, fluff

Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)

Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.

Word count: 6k

Other works

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out 😭

a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.

So that’s exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblings’ dreams.

But what did it all get him?

Nothing!

He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.

To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chan’s defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of ‘s’, as our dear ‘Kwanie’ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of ’s’, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).

Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. It’s not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.

Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chan’s life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.

Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!

This is where you came in, the reason for Chan’s genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For God’s sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.

He became a person like his father.

You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didn’t want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.

It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.

--

“Chan, I’m heading out. Dinner’s in the fridge—please actually eat it this time. We don’t need two meal skippers in this household,” you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document he’d been typing for the past hour.

“Sure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!” he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.

Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. It’s been tough, but he’s persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.

Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.

Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that it’s exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.

The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously can’t disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldn’t interfere with your job either.

But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didn’t think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.

The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.

If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.

—

One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.

You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.

But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.

Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.

That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.

Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.

‘Leave him!’ they had told you, ‘he wouldn’t change, he prefers his job more than you.’

It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.

It didn’t take too long for those dreams to come true, though.

—

One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.

That night brought you both another few years, or that’s what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.

What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.

—

It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.

It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.

Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employee’s usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.

Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.

You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.

It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.

This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each other’s company way more than ever.

—

It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.

So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didn’t have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.

“But what ring do I buy her?” the stressed boy asked his best friend.

“Wow, I wasn’t informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!” Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.

“Dude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ain’t no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,” the shorter boy retorted back.

Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?”

“Because she said, and I quote, ‘if you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I can’t even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate you’,” Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwan’s throat.

“Do something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,” making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, “Put in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!”

Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldn’t come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.

It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.

Perfect!

If you didn’t want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!

—

This kick-started the learner phase of Chan’s life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.

He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.

“Who wouldn’t?” he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.

Because, oh boy, was he in love.

--

It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.

Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.

The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chan’s life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.

To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.

But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.

The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.

The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.

It’s not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chan’s limits in the wrong way, you didn’t waste a second to tell him.

“I think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. It’s unbelievably bad for your health,” you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.

“I know how to have fun, not my fault you don’t!”

The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.

“Do you remember what happened yesterday?” you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, “Chan, you can’t let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please don’t overdo anything, I beg you!” You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.

He didn’t. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.

—

Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.

During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.

He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.

--

It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.

The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities don’t come every day, so you were elated.

Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.

With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancé behind. Chan didn’t like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.

But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldn’t bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadn’t made decisions that ruined his life.

--

So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didn’t take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.

The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, “I will marry you once I come back, like that, we won’t have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.”

“You are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,” was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.

Life was starting to feel better again.

Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didn’t appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.

—

Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.

“Now if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?” the older boy questioned him.

“No, but I miss her already,” Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.

“Be nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. It’s not the Stone Age,” Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.

But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six o’clock in the evening.

You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.

But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldn’t pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.

Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.

It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.

Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.

—

One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.

She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.

You had come back for a week’s vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.

You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.

For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriend’s choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.

This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.

—

Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chan’s birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldn’t visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, “Your birthday is in six months; I’m gonna make it hell for you.”

“Whatever, old man, get dressed. Don’t you have a job to go to?” You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.

“I miss you,” Chan suddenly called out, pouting.

“You will meet me next month, Channie. Don’t be this sad now.” Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But it’s not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.

That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.

Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.

The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.

There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.

He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didn’t either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.

So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.

—

“You kissed me,” was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chan’s heart drop to his stomach.

“Huh, but I don’t remember anything,” Chan retorted.

“It’s not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,” she said, her voice almost breaking.

“Hey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didn’t do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldn’t have done it,” this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girl’s mood.

On the other hand, Chan’s blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.

“Chan, I think I like you. I’m not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please don’t tell me I wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t intoxicated.”

The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.

So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.

Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didn’t feel what he was supposed to. He didn’t feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.

He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didn’t know.

But, that night, they did more than kissing.

—

Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each other’s presence.

But it didn’t take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.

But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.

All those questions of ‘where were you last night’, ‘when will you come home’, or ‘shall we go on a date sometime soon’, all went unanswered.

He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didn’t stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.

Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boy’s disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,

“Either you tell her or I will.”

“But I can’t; she will leave me if I ever tell her.”

“Then she will be right in doing so.”

“Chan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Don’t hurt her more,” he had said.

“Give me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,” the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.

“She better know about it all before the wedding,” Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.

—

Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.

This relationship didn’t make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.

But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldn’t give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.

It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.

“Chan, it’s yours.”

“Eva, I have a fiancé. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.”

“Oh, so you didn’t think about that before fucking me”

“It was a mistake”, Chan shouted.

“No, it wasn’t, we both were very sober”, came another shout

The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.

You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friend’s place.

Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you won’t talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.

That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.

—

Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasn’t the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.

Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.

He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesn’t deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.

He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didn’t have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.

The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.

He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.

Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldn’t; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.

As he stood there saying his vows, hoping it’s you he saw walking down the aisle and it’s you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.

As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end

[nightshadow1607]

Aizawa: I'm not mad, I just want to know why you two need a fake ID?

Midoriya: *mumbles*

Aizawa: What was that?

Shinsou: *sighs* You need to be over 18 at PetCo to hold the puppies

--

Izuku: *does something reckless*

Iida: Midoriya, how could you do this? You are so reckelss!

Also Iida: *goes after Stain to murder him*

--

Kid Izuku: So I have this nice rock

Kid Izuku: Kacchan gave it to me

Kid Bakugou: I threw it at you

Kid Izuku: Kacchan is so cool

--

Vigilante/Villain Izuku, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem here, officer?

Tsukauchi: Get out of my car

--

Shigaraki: Time for plan G

Mr. Compress: Don't you mean plan B?

Shigaraki: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties

Himiko: What about plan D?

Shigaraki: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago

Twice: What about plan E?

Shigaraki: I'm hoping not to use it. I die in plan E

Dabi: I like plan E

--

Sero: Why are you smiling?

Bakugou: What? Can't I just be happy?

Kirishima: Midoriya tripped and fell down the stairs

--

Vigilante Izuku: Physically I'm here but spiritually I'm lying in a Waffle House parking lot somewhere, slowly bleeding out from several stabbing wounds

Vigilante Shinsou: Mood

--

Bakugou, angrily: ARE YOU-

Todoroki: fucking

Bakugou: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Todoroki: fucking

Bakugou: IDIOT

Uraraka: ... what was that?

Todoroki: Aizawa-sensei banned Bakugou from swearing, so I volunteered to help him out

--

Hizashi: WHY AREN'T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS?!

Nemuri: Like, everything is the same as kids' playgrounds but bigger! Why don't we have those?!

Aizawa: Theme parks. Just theme parks

Hizashi: but you have to PAY for theme parks!

Aizawa: That's the adult part

--

Young Aizawa: I want to be a caterpillar

Young Oboro: Elaborate

Young Aizawa: Eat a lot, sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful

Young Hizashi: You know that they have a lifespan of like two weeks, right?

Young Aizawa: That's another highlight-

Young Oboro & Hizashi: Shouta, NO--

--

Hizashi: Truth or Dare?

Shinsou: Truth

Hizashi: How many hours have you slept this week?

Shinsou: Dare

Aizawa: Go to sleep

Shinsou: I don't like this game

--

Izuku, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, parental figure

Aizawa, not looking up from his coffee: Good morning, problem child

--

Jirou: You remind me of the ocean

Shinsou: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Jirou: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people

--

Dabi: Here's a funny idea: We hang a mistletoe, bit instead of kissing the person underneath, we have to fight them.

Kurogiri: We are not doing this

Himiko, nodding: Mistlefoe

Magne: Don't encourage her!

--

Vigilante Izuku: *breaks a window while Shinsou is sleeping*

Vigilante Izuku: Hey Toshi, I-- Stop screaming, It's me-- I need help

--

Bakugou: Did you guys buy the eggs I asked?

Mina: Even better!

Bakugou: ...what did you do?

Kaminari, holding a chicken: Here!

Mina: Her name is Kyle!

--

Immortal Izuku: Fuck, I wanna die!

Aizawa: Language

Immortal Izuku: Hickity heck, I crave death

--

Yagi: Aizawa-san, call the kids. They're not listening to me

Aizawa: I'm not their dad

Yagi: Just do it

Aizawa, to Class 1-A: *sigh* Okay everyone! Line up, we're going back to the dorms!

Class 1-A: *immediately following like ducklings*

Yagi:

Aizawa: NO! listen, LISTEN, I'm not their--

--

Aizawa: Hello, people who don't live here

Hizashi: Heya!

Nemuri: Hi!

Tensei: Hello!

Aizawa: I gave you the key for emergencies

Hizashi: We were out of food

--

Vigilante Izuku, talking to Shinsou: If I run and jump at Eraser, he will definitely catch me

Vigilante Izuku: *runs at Aizawa*

Aizawa: KID, NO, I'M HOLDING COFFEE--

Aizawa: *drops coffee to catch Izuku*

--

Shinsou: *recording videos with Class 1-A* I have no intentions of being friends

Shinsou: *playing videogames with everyone* You're all stepping stones to my success

Shinsou: *baking a cake for Kaminari's birthday* Friends are a distraction

Shinsou: *in a group hug* Disgusting

--

Vigilantes Izuku and Shinsou: *watching the neighborhood kids play*

Vigilante Shinsou: Look at them. They're having so much fun. They're so happy

Vigilante Izuku: Yeah

Vigilante Izuku: How long do you think it'll be until they lose their will to live?

Vigilante Shinsou: I don't remember ever having one

Vigilante Izuku: Yeah, those kids are doomed

incorrect quotes because why not? (part 6)

[grippingbeskar]

bad shoulder

frank castle x fem!reader

warnings: adult content minors dni! (mxf, f receiving, nothing crazy) swearing, mentions of canon typical violence

a/n: this is dedicated to and requested by @lemon-world1​ who’s birthday it was a few days ago IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE but it is here! i hope you had an amazing day, and i really hope this is what you wanted!!!! sending so much love to you. its been a while since i just wrote a lil frank thing and damn i missed it okay bye.

     ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You got a second?” Frank Castle’s familiar head pokes around the corner of your tent, traces of dried blood still caked in his short hair.

“Always for you.” You sing out, and he smiles, the sight sending warmth all the way through you. You turn to face him, and he isn’t shy about the way he looks you up and down, brown eyes trailing down your body before he remembers himself and focuses elsewhere. You always manage to get at least a little flustered when he comes in— especially when he’s all happy and smiling. He’s impossible not to want, and living on a base in the middle of a battlefield, there’s not a whole lot to do around here but sit and wait for him to show up.

It had been a long day, like it always was. You hadn’t even seen the sun rise before you were called in, soldiers that were never fully recovered still nursing old, aggravated injuries from whatever they’d been doing for the past 12 hours. From bad knees to wasted tendons and shattered bones, sometimes there wasn’t a lot you could do but make them as comfortable as possible and take away some of the pain, even if it was temporary.

Frank could come in and stand in the corner without saying a word and it’d make your day. It was stupid, but it was the truth. He just had that effect on you. It didn’t matter what time of the day it was, he just managed to surge adrenaline through you at the sight of him— you’d nearly forgotten your work the second he stepped in.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ve got a few things to finish up and then I can help you out.” He nods and thanks you again, and you busy yourself with papers you don’t remember pulling out, trying your hardest to slow your racing heart down to an acceptable rate.

When you turn back to him, he’s already taken his shirt off, sitting with his legs over the side of the table. He’s so tall his boots still plant firmly on the ground, and you know it’s ridiculous— you know, but there’s something about the way he’s just so big—

“Your shoulder still bothering you?” Your brain manages to form words that make sense, while your heart rate is still flying uncomfortably close to a heart attack as he shrugs his shoulders. He rolls them out, each muscle defined and contracting with the movement, and your hands clench at your sides.

“Yeah. Gotta carry some of the packs for the medic on our squad, but it’s fucking killing me.” He rolls his neck next, but with the movement he winces. His eyes squeeze shut and his whole body shudders— the sight switching you from a fumbling mess to a professional in an instance. You know Frank— if he’s coming to you for help, he must be in some serious pain.

“Can’t someone else take the weight? I could write a report, let the sargent know?” You move behind him, the definition of each muscle practically shimmering under the full light of your tent. You peek over his shoulder, and he angles his head just so you can see the genuine surprise in his face.

“You can do that?”

“I’m not just here to hang out with you, you know. I do have a job here.” You laugh, and you can see his body slump a little as he joins you.

“I didn’t mean it like that— but nah. It’s okay. Coopers still got that bug leg, so I just gotta get this fixed.” Typical of Frank, but you’d probably write the report up anyways. It wouldn’t hurt, and Frank would never admit to anyone but you that the pain was genuinely bothering him.

You were the only person he seemed to let himself be vulnerable with, show any kind of weakness with. You’d seen him around base, and knowing what a pissing contest it is out there, it didn’t surprise you that when he found a moment of peace, it didn’t take a a lot for him to open up. You try to tell yourself it’s because he doesn’t have to worry about showing you up like he does everyone else around here, but you can’t help the part of your mind that wanders to the possibility that he might just like your company. Finds it easy to trust you and let his guard down.

“I’m gonna touch you now, okay? Work the same place as last time?” Once you get confirmation, your hands drift over the familiar position, but as soon as you apply pressure he sucks in a sharp breath. “That hurts?”

“It’s fine.” He says through his teeth.

“You have to tell me if it hurts, Castle. Job, remember?” He laughs again, but you can tell he’s still pulling away from you. “It’s okay. We can work up to that. Tell me what happened today.”

“Same old. You know how it— oh, fuck.” He grunts when you dig your fingertips into a spot that you know is connected to his old injury. “How it is.”

“Lay down.” He moves slowly— too slow to be in any kind of working order. You try to take the pressure off his shoulder as he turns to lay face down, but he’s still holding himself up and favouring one side. When he’s finally flat, you start softly, kneading your hands in slow circles around the connecting muscles. You listen to the sounds he makes— low grunts of either pain or pleasure, but both of them send butterflies fluttering in your stomach like no one else.

You start to span your hands down his back, letting the palm of your hand apply more pressure the further away from his shoulder you get. He sighs deeply, and after a few minutes he’s gone pliant under your touch. His head rolls to one side when you drift your hands up to his neck, another low groan escaping from somewhere in his chest.

When he’s finally relaxed, you press further. You check in as your hands slide along the base of his shoulder blade, and you’re only met with a gruff keep goin’ before you return to your original spot. He sighs, shifting closer to your side of the table, and the warmth of his skin touching you in all kinds of places has you blinking rapidly, your vision starting to go fuzzy.

Keeping your mind on the task at hand, you manage to kill a few more minutes like this; gentle circles and soft touches before you decide he’s ready to move.

“You still with me?” You break the silence, and he just huffs like you’ve woken him up. He still moves slowly when he gets up, but there’s no pain there. No— he was just relaxed. Tired, probably, but relaxed. “It’s feeling better than last time. You’ve been doing those stretches I told you about?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Your hands return to his shoulder and apply more pressure. He leans into the touch, head falling forward and sighing again. You ignore how much the response made your head swim.

“Everyday?”

“Yes, ma’am.” God— he was gonna kill you.

“And no more of those sandbag throws, yeah? Or those weighted pull ups?” When you don’t get an answer, you shake him with your hands. “Hey. Don’t fall asleep.”

“M’not. I’m ignoring the question.” You laugh, your hands stilling on his shoulder as you feel the muscle movement ease entirely. “I gotta keep my reputation up, or the new guys get cocky.”

“God forbid— because you are the picture of humble.”

“Damn right.” He leans back slightly, his back brushing against your chest. He doesn’t move when he feels how close you are, and though your hands aren’t on him anymore and the session is clearly over, you don’t move either. “Missed seein’ you.”

“You don’t have to rip your shoulder out of its socket to come see me, you know.” He’s facing straight forward, but every word you say has him shuffling further and further back into you.

“You sayin’ you wanna see me outside here?” He says softly, his head turning ever so slightly towards your own.

“Maybe.” You want to take the words back as soon as you’ve said then, but then he surprises you by turning suddenly, looking you right in the eye.

Your heart stops. Time stops, practically. You know you shouldn’t do this. You need to draw a line in the sand, tell him to move back. To look forward. To leave, even. You were at work, and he was just a… well. He wasn’t just another client— and that was the fucking problem.

He was so close to you, every short breath he took was loud in your ear. You didn’t have to bend to be face to face with him, not with how straight he’s sitting and how fucking close he is. You were at the perfect height to indulge all those fantasies you shouldn’t have, should never act on but God did you want to.

He turns even more, rotating so his chest facing you and his nose brushes against your own. You can’t help the way your eyes flutter closed in anticipation— it was too late to pull away. He was too tempting and he was right there. So close to you, no longer at arms length, and so when he brings one gentle hand to the side of your face, you don’t even think about pulling away.

Your heartbeat was in your ears, sounds of the outside floating away until all you could hear was the pounding of your anxious heart and Franks low, shuddering inhale. Your eyes dare to flutter open for just half a second, and you can see his own flitting over your face— searching for something. Rejection, anticipation, something that he was looking for, but he either finds it or he doesn’t, because whatever it was is enough to have him leaning just a slight inch forward and pressing his mouth to yours.

It’s so slow you nearly faint. Adrenaline is coursing through your veins, and his other hand comes to your hip, drawing you in to press against his warm skin. His tongue glides along your bottom lip, and your mouth opens, wanting to drink him and this moment in as much as possible.

He tastes like dirt and blood, and it’s so fucking addicting that your tongue tangles with his for another taste. He kisses you softer than you imagined, like he’s waiting for you to pull away. You try to bend closer, your hands sliding up into his cropped hair and sealing his mouth to yours. The groan of approval you get is enough for him to lose a little bit of that control. He groans your name into your mouth, and you squeeze your eyes shut tighter. When he groans again your feet leave the ground, Frank hauling you up onto the small table in one swift movement, putting you on your knees next to him.

His mouth never leaves yours in the shuffle, hand tangled in your hair as he gets a little rougher— hungrier for a deeper kiss. The need makes your head spin, and his free hand hooks under your legs to pull you across him, your legs naturally falling to either side of his muscles thighs.

You moan instantly at the feeling, Frank pushing your hips down to connect with his own. Your arms hook lazily around his neck, his own roaming from your hips up and down your sides. He’s languid with the movements, content to take his time to feel your body, fingers slipping under your shirt where goosebumps follow in his wake wherever he touches you.

“Fuck, baby.” He groans into you, and you shudder when his hips buck upwards. It’s almost like he’s encouraging it, wanting you to use him like this, hearing the way your breathless moans get higher and higher every-time he does it. “You like that?”

You can’t form a reply, just nodding as your head rolls to the side. His lips drop down, scorching heat under your jaw and down your neck. You can feel the cool kiss of his teeth as they drag lightly against your pulse point, and at the same time Frank grinds his hips up again. The sensation hits you like a truck, and you’re sighing out his name like a song in the next second.

“Oh, Frank.” You bury your head in the crook of his neck, and he hums in response and repeats the movement. He knows just where to roll your hips, the rough fabric of his pants creating the perfect friction, and a few more minutes like this and you’d be cu—

Three loud knocks on the door nearly make you scream in surprise and frustration.

“Hey, you in there? Any chance you got a couple minutes before rollcall? Need you to work your magic on this knee.” Fucking hell. You knew that voice, and it wasn’t one you could dismiss.

You were panting so hard you couldn’t reply right away, and Frank was just staring at you. His eyes were blown wide— not even blinking as he gripped the side of the table, knuckles white with restraint.

“Y-yep! Just a sec!” You scramble, trying to put yourself back together while Frank sits there, unmoving. You manage to get behind him, throwing Franks shirt at him just before the officer walks in and gets an eyeful of Franks painfully obvious boner. “Colonel Fields! I’m just finishing up with Castle, then I can help you out.”

“Sounds good.” The older man walks into the room, taking a seat in your office chair and nodding at Frank. “Lieutenant.”

You seem to have found your footing a little quicker than Frank, jabbing him in the back to prompt a fucking reply.

“C-Colonel. Ow.” He sucks in a breath as you dig your hands into his lower back pretending to do something productive, but then he sighs and drops his head when you ease up.

He’s as taut as ever, but you go easy on him considering what just happened. What… what did just happen? One second you were joking with him, laughing like friends, and the next you were kissing him. More than that— fuck, you probably would have let him have you right here on the table if he had kept going.

There’s another low, drawn out groan from Frank, and the sound has you pressing your thighs together. It’s the same one he breathed through your kiss when you were on top of him— and from the pained grunt that follows it, he’s remembering it too.

“You alright there, Lieutenant?” Colonel Fields calls to Frank, and you don’t know what his face looks like right now, but clearly it’s not hiding anything very well.

“Fine. Good. I’m gonna— I think I’m good.” He’s off the table in a second, slipping out from your practically outstretched arms.

“I’ll only be a second, if you need to—“ He was already shaking his head before you finished your sentence. Did he not want… Jesus, did he not want to finish what you started as badly as you do? He was walking straight for the door.

“All good. Thanks. I’m— good. I’m good.” He says, not looking you in the eye, and then he’s gone, leaving both you and Colonel Fields confused, and you a little cold.

     ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you finally drag your body to your room, you feel like you’ve been hit by a freight train. You’ve had long days before, but this one is so much more draining. It’s like your heart has been wrung out and shoved back into your chest, and now you just have to walk around with this squished thing in your body that refuses to work properly.

Yes, you were dramatic. But you had a right to be! Frank had— well, he’d done all that, only to run out of the tent and disappear for the entire day. It’s not like you expected flowers and a proposal, but he was outright ignoring you.

Not so much as a text— no looks in the hallway, nothing. Even when he’d usually catch you for lunch, something that would have been ordinary and in his schedule, he wasn’t there. He could just be caught up with something, but your mind couldn’t help but wander to the possibility that you’d jumped the gun or read the room wrong.

You fell backwards onto your bed, the air rushing out of your lungs in a giant whoosh. You’d been harbouring feelings for Frank for so long, and you’d done so well at keeping them in check and at bay, no matter how many flirty smiles and sweet comments he made. But one moment of weakness— one look too long and too close was all it took for you to crack and have your entire heart and career shatter in one go.

Then you hear it— three soft but sure knocks on your door. When you swing it open, you don’t know if your surprised or expectant.

“Frank?”

“Hey, sweetheart. You gonna let me in?” You hesitate for just a moment, worried what he’s going to say. “I’m freezing my ass off out here. Please.”

You watch him shiver in front of you, and it’s only then you look down and see he’s just wearing boxers and the same shirt from this morning, as well as his combat boots, untied with no socks. You just step out of his way and hurry him inside, noting the snow piled up at your door and how late it must be considering the sun had long disappeared.

“Fucking hell. Its fuckin’ cold.” He says through gritted teeth, and you still haven’t said a word, but hand him a towel so he can dry off the fallen snow resting in his short hair. “Thanks.”

“Why aren’t you wearing more clothes?” The question slips out. Not that you were…complaining. But it was snowing outside.

“Yeah… kinda got caught in the barracks. Didn’t wanna waste time and walk all the way… are you alright?”

“You’re freezing— here.” You hand him one of his old jackets he’d given you months ago, and he takes it quickly, shrugging it over his shoulders. “You dissipated kind of fast. I just… sorry. This is weird. I don’t know what to say?”

“You don’t wanna talk, we don’t have to. I’ll…” He steps forward, a hand hooking under your chin to force your eyes up to him, “I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

“Wanted you to talk to me today.” You mumble and he grunts, shaking his head. “You were avoiding me. I thought you—“

“No, baby. No. Fuckin’ Fields has been on me since I deployed. He’d take any chance to send me home, and anyone I gave a shit about, too.” His hand hasn’t left you, though the other one stays pinned to his side.

“Oh. You— no, that makes total sense. You should definitely of— Of course! Yeah.” You make a complete dick of yourself trying to find a sentence that doesn’t make you sound insecure, and he steps into you, his body like a warm blanket.

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinkin’ about you all damn day.” His breath his hot against your skin, and he presses a kiss under your ear before he continues. “Were you thinkin’ about me?”

“Mhmm.” Your eyes are closed, but you can feel him. Feel his proximity— how his other hand leaves his side and rests on your hip, tugging you into him. There isn’t an inch of him you can’t feel, and the hard lines of his toned stomach tighten as he bends down further.

“You wanna pick up where we left off, sweetheart? Let me show you what I been meaning to do to you since I fuckin’ met you?” Your jaw falls open and you nod again. He takes his chance, groaning your name once more before devouring you into a searing kiss.

He’s unbelievably big, dwarfing your size under neath him as he moves his hands lower and starts to tug at your sweatpants. You shuffle as best you can to help him, but you’re too occupied with the way he’s kissing you to do anything but squirm against him. He’s kissing you like he’s hungry for it, like there’s something desperate and sweet inside of you he’s never had before. It makes your head spin to think he might want this just as bad as you do.

He walks backwards, falling with a grunt onto your bed, tugging you on top of him. It’s the same as this morning, expect now there’s even less between you. Just the thin fabric of your underwear and his boxers seperate you from each other, but he’s no less intense with the way he moves you in slow circles while he licks into your mouth.

“Fuck.” He mutters and pulls himself away, mumbling as he rips your shirt over your head. He kisses you everywhere he can reach— craning his head to press his mouth to your collarbones, down your chest, feeling his hands run up to touch you where his mouth can’t.

He flips you over, your back hitting the soft covers of your bed and crawls over you. His arms cage you in, mouth repeating the motions and tasting your skin further down. He’s so slow about it— hardly even doing this for you. His mouth is as warm as his skin, trailing his way down until his short hair tickles the skin of your inner thighs. You can’t take your eyes off him, how easy he fits himself between your legs, shoulders spreading you open.

He breathes out, setting himself down between your legs, toying with the soft fabric of your underwear. His fingertips are rough, but his touch gentle, tracing the lines of your hips and sending zaps of pleasure up your body.

“So pretty, baby.” The words hit your skin, and you squirm under his hands when they hook under your underwear. He drags them down quickly, your hands toying with the short strands of his hair. Franks eyes meet yours, and you swear he gives you a cocky little smile before he sinks lower and your eyes squeeze shut.

His mouth is on you in the next second, burying himself between you. You feel the warm touch of his mouth swirl around you, arms hooking around your lower half and holding you down. You don’t want to move, don’t want to interrupt the intensity of his touch but you can’t help it— it’s all too much and you want to dive into it. Everything hot and sparkling sizzles up your spine, and you arch off the bed in such surprise when you feel his mouth seal over your clit.

You squeeze your eyes shut harder, a near painful grip on his hair yanking him both into you and away. He’s too strong, too overpowering to even notice your efforts, and you thank God he doesn’t fucking stop. You were whining pathetically now— his name echoing in high pitched in the small room. You feel him smile, your jaw going slack just thinking about what he looks like.

“Keep sayin’ my name— fuckin’ sounds good when you say it.” He leans back only slightly, and you gasp when you feel him lean his head against your thigh. The feeling of him— his mouth fucking wet with the taste of you, feeling the soft puff of his breath against your skin as he catches himself. Then he wraps his arms around your thighs and tugs you down the bed. “You okay, sweetheart?”

“Keep going, fuck—“ You whimper, trying to smooth your hands through his hair in an attempt to be nicer. He grins lazily, and then stares right into your eyes as he spits into your pussy and buried his face into you again.

Everything burns red hot, and your legs clamp around his head as he speeds up. One arm is enough to hold you down, the other snaking up our side and interlocking with your hand. You can’t keep your eyes open— everything going blurry as your eyes roll back and you feel yourself spinning in all directions.

You must say something— his name, maybe, because he groans and flattens his tongue, letting you grind your hips up and into him. If you could manage to open your eyes you’d stare back at him— let him watch as you fall apart in a way only he can break you.

Frank keeps a pace— fucking you with his tongue and swirling around the bud of nerves in such a messy but fiery way that you can’t hold it. Everything gets white hot and your back arches again, fingertips digging into his scalp and hand, and you know it’s cliche but you swear you can see stars.

Frank doesn’t stop, just slows down and works you through the shocks of pleasure that jolt up your core, feeling the way you shudder as you cum in his mouth. When your squirming too much for him to hold you still, he drags his mouth up your body. Again, he kisses his way up, but this time it’s messy. He’s not just kissing— he drags teeth and tongue along your hip bones, marking his way up to your chest and neck. You’ll be covered in the evidence, and you only lean closer, wanting more.

“Fucking hell, Frank.” His hands slide up your sides while yours palm him through his boxers, and he shudders your name. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”

“Do you, pretty girl?” He groans in your ear, and your stomach flips at the name. You bite your lip and nod, staring up at him and he grins. “You liked that, huh?”

“I know something I’d like more.” Blinking innocently, you slip your hand under his boxers and wrap your hand around his hard length. He cuts himself off with a choked gasp, leaning back down and kissing you messily.

You let him take what he wants, pressing his hips into the slow, teasing movement of your hand as you slowly slide his boxers off. The feeling of his skin on yours lights something on fire inside you, and while he’s nearly drunk on the taste of your mouth, you shove him easily onto his back. You’re quick about it, not giving him a second to breathe when you’re sinking down on his cock, earning another long, low groan.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” He gasps out, hands gripping your hips tightly. You roll forward slightly, feeling him hit something that makes you shiver, and he helps you chase the feeling. He moves you with no effort, bucking his hips and grinding you in out of rhythm thrusts, his eyes screwed tightly shut like he was in pain. “Oh god, baby don’t stop.”

“Feels good, Frankie.” His jaw goes slack with another stuttered moan of your name, while his hands touch you wherever they can reach. He glides up your stomach, over your ribs, your breasts, until he reaches your face where he hauls you downwards into another bruising kiss.

“Fucking… so perfect. Thought about this… fuck, that’s it. God that’s fuckin’ it.” He slurs between kisses, and he moves faster, rougher as he fucks you dizzy. It’s numbing and electrifying all at once, the grip of his hands on your face forcing you to stare into his half lidded eyes. “Such a pretty girl. Just keep lookin’ at me. Just like that.”

His free hand wraps around your lower back, his name coming out high pitched and drawn out as you call it over and over again. He kisses you, words mumbled into your mouth but the pleasure is too overwhelming— you couldn’t hear anything but the snap of his hips against yours and both of you chasing your high.

He bites your lower lip, drawing you back to him when he feels you tighten around him. He knows you well— he’d know you’re close, and his eyes burn so brightly in front of you that even though he’s got that cocky smirk on his face you still want to tell him how fucking good he is at this. He presses his forehead to yours, holding you against him as he brings you to the edge with a few more strewing, devastating thrusts and you’re gone— screaming his name so loud you know your neighbours will hear.

“Fr-Frank!” Your body shakes as pleasure overwhelms you, and he watches every fucking second of it. He’s right there with you, the look on your face when you cum for him sending him toppling over with you. He’s so warm and he’s everywhere— arms wrapping around you, mouth sealed to yours swallowing every little whimper and moan, cock buried so deep inside you, you know you’re gonna feel him for days.

The room is suddenly quiet, except for yours and Franks in sync breathing. You tuck your face into his neck and he buries you there, strong arms wrapping around your torso and keeping you as close as possible. When you feel his heart beat start to slow, you look up at him to find he’s already staring at you.

“You got no idea how long I’ve been waitin’ to do that.” He confesses, kissing you again. It’s lazy, indulgent and somehow he still tastes so good. It’s addicting, and you find yourself chasing his mouth until you’re breathless again. When he pulls away, he’s panting, shaking his head. “You keep kissing me like that and you’re in for a long fucking night.”

“Just one night?” You want to look away in case it’s not the answer you want, but he laughs, moving you to the side and tucking you to his chest.

“Fuck no.” He groans as he finally slips out of you. You sigh, content for now, and wriggle back towards him, pressing your ass against his hips. He freezes and his breathing changes, sounding very, very controlled. “Baby. Please don’t mess with me right now.”

“Oh, poor Frank. Stuck in bed with a girl. A naked girl. How’s he gonna make it?” Before you can be proud of yourself for the short silence you are awarded, he’s flipping you over and kissing his way down your chest and stomach. When he disappears between your thighs, you cry out his name, and fuck— you don’t think you’d ever get enough of this.