#so good at that. what a fucking relief. to finally understand.
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the-winter-spider · 19 hours ago
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I miss you, I'm sorry
Bucky x Reader AU
Word Count: 10k+
Warnings: Toxic, angst, smut
A/N: I love Gracie, and was like fuck it gonna toss something together based off my fav songs by her
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The air feels heavy, even though the room is quiet. You sit cross-legged on your bed, your phone resting beside you, the screen dim and blank. The minutes bleed into each other, but you can’t stop glancing at the clock, as if willing it to rewind to before it all.
It’s been three days. Three days of no texts, no calls, no nothing. That’s how it always goes with Bucky. He’s there, and then he’s not. And every time, you tell yourself it’ll be the last time you wait for him to come back.
It never is.
You hate him for how easy it is to disappear. You hate yourself more for letting him.
The phone rings.
The sharp sound cuts through the haze of your thoughts, and for a moment, your heart skips. You snatch the phone up, seeing his name flash across the screen. The sight of it sends a rush of relief, anger, and something softer, something stupidly hopeful, all at once.
You answer, but don’t say anything.
“Hey.” His voice is quiet, gravelly. Tired.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “Hey.”
The silence stretches, brittle and uncomfortable. You can hear him breathing on the other end, steady and soft. It reminds you of the way his breath felt against your skin the last time he stayed over, the last time he let himself get too close before pulling away again.
“I shouldn’t have called,” he mutters finally, his voice tight. “I just… couldn’t sleep.”
You close your eyes. There it is again, the push and pull. The way he says he shouldn’t but always does. The way he drags you back into his orbit every time, knowing you’ll stay.
“What do you want, Bucky?” you ask, keeping your voice steady. It’s a question you’ve asked a hundred times, and you already know the answer.
He exhales sharply, like he’s frustrated—at you, at himself, you’re not sure. “I don’t know.” Another pause. “You were right, okay? About everything. I just…” His voice trails off, and you can picture him sitting on the edge of his bed, rubbing the back of his neck the way he always does when he’s trying to find the words. “I hate this.”
“Hate what?” you snap, the simmering frustration bubbling to the surface. “Hate that you always come back? Or hate that you can’t figure out what the hell you want?”
He doesn’t answer. He never does when you call him out like this.
The silence makes your chest ache. You shake your head, even though he can’t see you. “You can’t keep doing this, Bucky. You can’t keep pulling me back just to push me away again. It’s not fair.”
“I know,” he whispers. And he sounds so broken, so genuine, that it cracks something inside you. It always does.
You take a shaky breath. “Then why do you do it?”
“I don’t know,” he says again. His voice is quieter now, softer, like he’s afraid of breaking you more than he already has. “Because you’re the only thing that feels real. And I don’t know how to hold onto it without screwing it up.”
Your throat tightens. You wish you didn’t understand. But you do. He’s always been good at giving you just enough to stay, but never enough to feel whole. “Its not enough Buck”
“I know,” he says, his voice breaking slightly. “But it’s all I’ve got, you're all i truly have."
You sighed running your head through your hair “Do you wanna come over?”
“I’m already on my way”
You don't have to wait long. The sound of his motorcycle pulling up to your place makes your stomach do a little flip, even though you're still mad at him. You hear his heavy boots on the stairs, and then a soft knock at your door.
You take a deep breath before opening it. He's standing there, his hair tousled from the ride, his face tight and tired. He looks at you, and for a moment, it's like all the walls come down. He reaches out, cupping your face with his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice rough. "I'm so fucking sorry."
And just like that, you melt. You lean into his touch, your eyes fluttering closed. His other hand comes up to wrap around your waist, pulling you close. He smells like leather and cigarettes and something uniquely him.
"I missed you," he murmurs, pressing his forehead to yours. "I hate not seeing you."
"I hate it too," you whisper back. "But you can't keep doing this, Bucky. You can't keep hurting me."
He makes a soft, broken sound. "I know. I'm trying, okay? I'm really trying."
The door closes softly behind them, the click of the lock echoing in the charged silence. Bucky's hand is still cupping your face, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheekbone. You lean into his touch, your eyes fluttering closed as you breathe him in. He smells like leather and smoke, like home and danger all rolled into one.
You press yourself against him, feeling the hard planes of his body through his clothes. He's solid and warm and real, and it's been too long since you've felt him like this. His hands slide down to your waist, pulling you flush against him as he claims your mouth in a hungry kiss.
You moan into it, your fingers tangling in his hair. He kisses like your fights- fierce and intense, like he's trying to claim every inch of you. You kiss back just as fiercely, your tongue sliding against his as you lose yourself in the feel of him.
He walks you backwards towards the bed, his hands roaming your body as he goes. He breaks the kiss only to yank your shirt over your head, tossing it aside carelessly. His mouth is back on yours before you can even blink, his hands cupping your breasts through your bra.
You arch into his touch, your nipples hardening under his palms. He groans low in his throat, his hips pressing forward to grind against yours. You can feel his hardness through his jeans, and it makes you ache with need.
He breaks the kiss again, trailing his lips down your neck as his hands work to unclasp your bra. It falls to the floor, joining the growing pile of clothes. He takes a moment to look at you, his eyes dark with desire as they rake over your naked breasts.
"Fuck, you're beautiful," he murmurs, his hands cupping the soft mounds. You gasp as his thumbs brush over your nipples, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through you.
He leans down, taking one of the hardened peaks into his mouth. You cry out, your fingers tangling in his hair as he sucks and licks and nibbles. Your hips buck against his, seeking friction, and he groans around your nipple, the vibrations making you shiver.
He gives the other breast the same attention, lavishing it with kisses and bites until you're writhing beneath him. Only then does he move lower, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your stomach as he kneels before you.
His hands hook in the waistband of your jeans, tugging them down along with your panties. You step out of them, kicking them aside as he looks up at you from his knees. The sight of him there, kneeling before you like you're a goddess to be worshipped, makes your knees weak.
"Bucky," you breathe, and it's half plea, half prayer.
He grins up at you, a devilish glint in his eyes. "Patience, baby. I'm going to take my time with you."
And then his mouth is on you, his tongue delving between your folds to taste you. You cry out, your head falling back as pleasure crashes over you. He licks and sucks and teases, his hands gripping your hips to hold you in place as he devours you.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him to you as he drives you closer and closer to the edge. Just when you think you can't take anymore, he pulls back, leaving you gasping and empty.
"Bucky, please," you whimper, and he chuckles darkly.
"Please what, baby? Tell me what you want."
"I want you," you pant, looking down at him with desperation in your eyes. "I want you inside me."
He stands up, pulling you flush against him as he captures your mouth in a searing kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips, and it makes you even more aroused. His hands grip your ass, kneading the flesh as he grinds his hardness against your bare core.
"Bed," he growls against your lips, and you nod frantically, tugging him towards the mattress.
You tumble onto the bed together, a tangle of limbs and desire. He breaks the kiss to sit up, yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. You take a moment to admire the hard planes of his chest, the scars that crisscross his skin like a roadmap of his past.
He crawls back over you, his hips settling between your thighs as he reaches for his belt. You watch, transfixed, as he unbuckles it and shoves his jeans and boxers down, freeing him.
He settles back over you, his head brushing against your entrance. You shudder at the contact, your hips lifting to try and draw him in.
"Tell me you want this," he whispers, his voice rough with need. "Tell me you want me."
"I want you," you breathe, wrapping your legs around his waist. "I want all of you."
And with that, he thrusts into you, burying himself to the hilt in one smooth motion. You cry out at the sudden fullness, your nails digging into his shoulders as you adjust to the stretch.
He pauses for a moment, letting you get used to him. Then he starts to move, pulling out slowly before slamming back in. You meet him thrust for thrust, your hips rising to take him deeper.
The bed creaks beneath you as he sets a relentless pace, driving into you again and again. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, mingling with your moans and his grunts of pleasure.
"Fuck, you feel so good," he groans, burying his face in your neck. "So perfect."
You clench around him in response, and he curses, his hips snapping forward harder.
"I'm gonna come," you gasp, your body tensing beneath him. "Bucky, I'm gonna-"
But he cuts off your words with a kiss, swallowing your cries of pleasure as you come undone beneath him. Your body spasms around him, milking him as he follows you over the edge with a hoarse shout of your name.
He collapses on top of you, both of you gasping for breath as the aftershocks of your orgasms roll through you. He presses soft kisses to your neck, your jawline, your lips as you bask in the afterglow.
"I love you," he murmurs against your skin, and you hope it's just not the sex talking.
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Later that week, you’re sitting at a bar with Natasha. She watches you nurse your drink, her sharp green eyes narrowing as you tell her what happened.
“He called,” you say, staring down at the condensation on your glass. “And like an idiot, I picked up, and he came over, we had sex and he was gone in the morning”
Natasha doesn’t say anything at first. She just leans back, crossing her arms. “What do you want me to say?” she asks finally. “That he’s going to change? That this time will be different?”
You shake your head. “No. I just…” You trail off, struggling to put the feeling into words. “I just wish I didn’t miss him so much. I wish I could stop.”
She sighs, leaning forward. “Listen to me,” she says, her voice soft but firm. “He’s not going to fix this. You know that, right? He’s not going to wake up one day and suddenly figure out how to love you the way you deserve. That’s not who he is, you have to know that babe…"
“I know,” you whisper. But the ache in your chest doesn’t go away.
Natasha exhales deeply, tilting her head as if trying to decide whether to push further. Finally, she sets her drink down and leans across the table, her voice quieter but no less serious. “So, what’s the plan? You gonna keep answering when he calls? Keep letting him come over, screw you and your head, and leave like nothing happened?”
You don’t answer, just trace the edge of your glass with your finger. The truth is, you don’t have a plan. You’re not even sure you want one. “He said he loves me, he's never said that before”
Natasha leans back in her chair, crossing her arms as she studies you. Her sharp green eyes narrow slightly, but there’s no satisfaction in her expression. She doesn’t look impressed, doesn’t look relieved, like you’d hoped she might. Instead, her face softens, just slightly, in that way that means she’s about to say something you don’t want to hear.
“Okay,” she says slowly, her voice calm but pointed. “And what does that change?”
Her question hits like a bucket of cold water, and you blink at her, your fingers freezing mid-trace on the rim of your glass. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, so what?” Natasha continues, leaning forward now, her elbows on the table. “He said the words. Great. But what does that actually mean to you? Did it make you feel better? Did it fix anything?”
You open your mouth to reply, but no words come out. The truth sits heavy in your chest.
“It’s not enough just to say it,” Natasha presses, her tone still steady but with an edge of frustration. “Love isn’t just words. It’s showing up. It’s consistency. It’s choosing someone, not just when it’s convenient, but every single day. Did he do that? Or did he just say what you’ve been waiting to hear and then disappear again?”
The ache in your chest tightens, and you look down, your fingers clutching the glass like it might hold the answers you’re searching for. “He—he’s trying,” you say weakly, but even you don’t sound convinced.
Natasha lets out a breath, her voice softening again. “Babe… I know you want to believe him. I know you love him. But this?” She gestures vaguely, as if to encompass all of it—your tears, the late-night calls, the endless cycle. “This isn’t what love is supposed to feel like. Love doesn’t leave you questioning your worth every time the sun comes up.”
The words settle over you like a weight, and you swallow hard, blinking back the tears that threaten to spill. You don’t want her to see you cry. Not here. Not like this.
“Nat…” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. But she shakes her head, her expression soft but unyielding.
“I’m not saying this to hurt you,” she says gently. “I just… I want you to be happy. And you’re not happy right now. You haven’t been for a long time.”
Before you can respond, the stool next to her screeches, and Sam slides into it, his energy a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere between you and Nat. He plunks his beer on the table and gives you a once-over.
“Well, you look like someone stole your puppy,” he says, his tone light but his eyes sharp.
Natasha shoots him a look. “Not the time, Sam.”
“I’m just saying,” he replies, leaning back and gesturing to you. “She’s been sitting here all night, looking like a sad indie song, and you’re just gonna let her wallow?”
You glare at him, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “Do you have something to say, or are you just here to make jokes?”
“Both,” Sam says, taking a sip of his beer before setting it down. “Look, I love you, but this thing with Bucky? It’s killing you, and everyone can see it. Hell, you can see it, but you’re still pretending like it’s gonna work itself out.”
“Sam,” Natasha warns, but he holds up a hand.
“No, let me finish,” he says, his voice more serious now. “I’ve been where you are, okay? Hanging onto something that’s breaking you because you’re scared to let it go. But you know what happens if you keep holding on?” He pauses, meeting your eyes. “You lose yourself. And I don’t want that for you.”
His words hit harder than you expect, and for a moment, all you can do is sit there, blinking back the tears threatening to spill.
“I don’t know how to let him go,” you admit finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t even know who I am without him.”
Sam leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Then it’s time to figure that out. Because you deserve better than waiting around for someone who doesn’t see how amazing you are—not someone who only comes around when it’s convenient for him.”
After Sam and Natasha head home, you find yourself walking through the quiet streets, your hands shoved into your coat pockets. The city hums around you, but you feel untethered, like you’re floating between who you are and who you want to be.
Before you realize it, your feet take you to Bucky’s building. You stop at the corner, staring up at the windows. The lights in his apartment are off, but you know he’s there. He’s always there.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out, your heart sinking when you see his name.
Bucky: You up?
The message is simple, familiar, and infuriatingly tempting. Your thumb hovers over the screen.
You: Yes, just leaving the bar.
Bucky: Ill see you in 20.
You see his light flick on.
You: Okay.
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You’re sitting in your apartment with Steve. He’d shown up unexpectedly, a bag of bagels in one hand and a concerned look on his face. Now, he’s watching you carefully as you pick at your food, the silence between you growing heavier by the minute.
“I heard about last night,” he says eventually, breaking the stillness.
You glance up, narrowing your eyes. “Natasha?”
“Sam,” he admits with a small smile, but his expression stays serious. “He’s worried about you. We all are.”
You sigh, leaning back against the couch. “I’m fine, Steve.”
“You’re not fine,” he says gently, setting his coffee down on the table. “And it’s okay to not be fine. But you need to stop punishing yourself for wanting more than what Bucky can give you.”
Your chest tightens, and you look away, your voice barely audible. “He’s not a bad person, Steve. He’s just… broken.”
“I know he is,” Steve says softly, his tone patient but firm. “And I know he cares about you, even if he’s too scared to show it. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep hurting yourself to save him.”
You open your mouth to respond, but the words get stuck in your throat. Instead, you ask the question that’s been clawing at you for days. “Is he seeing anyone else?”
Steve freezes mid-bite, his jaw tightening. “Yes.”
You nod slowly, your hands trembling as you set your plate down on the coffee table. “Are they… are they having sex?”
Steve’s shoulders sag slightly, and he shakes his head. “No.”
The relief you feel is fleeting, quickly replaced by another ache—something deeper, sharper. “He told me he loves me, y’know,” you whisper, your voice cracking.
That makes Steve freeze completely. He sets his bagel down, staring at you with wide, startled eyes. “He said that?”
You nod, the words pouring out of you now, unfiltered and raw. “He’s never said it before. And I didn’t know what to do. Because it felt… real. For a second, it felt like maybe this time was different. But then he was gone the next morning, like always.”
Steve leans back in his chair, his brow furrowed, like he’s trying to process what you’ve just said. “Did he mean it?” he asks finally, his voice cautious.
You let out a bitter laugh, wiping at your eyes. “I don’t know, Steve. Does it matter? He says one thing, but everything else he does just…” You trail off, shaking your head.
“It matters,” Steve says firmly, leaning forward. “If he loves you, that’s something. But love isn’t enough if he can’t show it, if he can’t make you feel it.” Steve is quiet for a long moment, his expression pained. “You deserve more than that,” he says finally. “You deserve someone who’s not afraid to fight for you. Someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re asking for too much just by being yourself.”
-----------
The music is loud, pulsing through the crowded bar in a steady rhythm that matches the pounding in your chest. You're friends are off dancing their cares away, while you sit at a small table near the corner, nursing your drink, half-hidden in the dim lighting. The condensation from the glass drips onto your hand, but you barely notice.
Your eyes keep drifting to him.
Bucky is across the room, his arm slung casually around another woman’s shoulders. She’s laughing, tilting her head toward him like he’s just told her the funniest joke in the world. He looks… relaxed. At ease in a way you haven’t seen in a long time, and it’s like someone’s taken a knife to your chest, twisting it deeper with every passing second.
You force yourself to look away, staring into the amber liquid in your glass like it holds answers to questions you’re too scared to ask. But it doesn’t work. Your gaze flickers back to him, almost involuntarily.
They’re dancing now, swaying to a song you don’t recognize. His hand rests lightly on her hip, his fingers brushing against the fabric of her dress in a way that feels too intimate, too familiar.
And then he kisses her.
Not on the lips, but on her head, his lips lingering against her hair as she leans into him. It’s tender, effortless, the kind of gesture that feels natural, like it belongs to someone who knows how to love without hesitation.
Your chest tightens, and you swallow the lump forming in your throat, forcing yourself to take another sip of your drink. The bitterness burns your tongue, but it’s nothing compared to the ache spreading through you.
You tell yourself you don’t care. That this doesn’t matter. That he’s made his choice, and it isn’t you.
But the truth is, it matters too much.
You drain the rest of your drink, the cold liquid going down in one sharp swallow. You set the glass down harder than you mean to, the dull thud lost in the noise of the bar.
You glance over at him one last time, just to confirm what you already know. He’s still there, his attention focused on her.
But then his eyes shift.
He sees you.
For a split second, your gazes lock across the room, and the weight of his stare pins you in place. His hand pauses on her back, and something flickers in his expression—guilt, maybe, or regret.
You can’t tell, and you’re not sure you want to.
The heat of his gaze follows you as you stand, slipping your bag over your shoulder and making your way toward the door. The noise of the bar fades into the background as you weave through the crowd, your footsteps quick and purposeful.
You don’t look back, but you can feel him watching you, his eyes lingering like a phantom touch that burns even after you’re gone.
The cold night air hits your face as you step outside, and you inhale deeply, trying to push the ache in your chest away.
But it stays. It always stays.
That night, you’re curled up on your couch, a blanket wrapped around you as the city lights flicker through the window. Your phone sits on the coffee table, dark and silent.
Until it’s not.
The screen lights up, and Bucky’s name appears. The voicemail notification lingers like a ghost, and your hand trembles as you reach for it.
You press play, his voice cracking through the silence.
“I know I’ve screwed this up. I know I don’t deserve another chance. But I miss you, and I don’t know how to do this without you. Please… just call me, I’m sorry”
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You find him outside on the balcony, leaning heavily against the railing, his shoulders hunched like the weight of the world is pressing down on him. The cold night air bites at your skin, and the faint glow of the streetlights below casts shadows that dance across his face. He doesn’t turn when you step out. He never does. That’s the thing about Bucky—he always knows you’re there, but he’s mastered the art of pretending not to.
The sound of the sliding door closing behind you feels final, like you’ve just stepped into a space you won’t come back from. Your arms wrap around yourself, a weak defense against the cold—or maybe against him—and you take a hesitant step forward.
“I thought you left,” you say, breaking the fragile quiet. Your voice wavers, as unsure as the ground you’re standing on.
He finally looks over his shoulder, his eyes heavy and rimmed with shadows. He looks wrecked. Tired in a way that no amount of sleep could fix. “Almost did,” he says softly, his voice barely audible over the distant hum of the city.
You step closer, your chest tightening at his words, at the way he doesn’t move, doesn’t shift to let you in. “Why didn’t you?”
He shrugs, turning back to the skyline, his fingers gripping the railing. “I haven’t heard from you all week.”
The ache in your chest sharpens at his tone, a flicker of hope you hate sneaking in despite yourself. It’s always like this: just enough vulnerability to keep you tethered. You stop a few feet away, the space between you feeling like a canyon, impossible to bridge.
“This isn’t working,” you say, finally voicing the thought that’s been clawing at you for weeks. “Whatever this is. It’s not working, Bucky.”
He doesn’t react at first, just keeps staring out at the city, like it holds an answer he’s too afraid to look for. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and rough. “I know.”
The simplicity of his admission steals your breath. It’s not that you didn’t expect it. You did. You’ve been here before, standing on the edge of this same cliff, waiting for the inevitable fall.
“So why are we still here?” you ask, your voice trembling, tinged with a desperation you wish you could hide.
He exhales, dragging a hand through his hair. The motion is frustrated, exhausted, like he’s tired of his own indecision. “Because I don’t know how to stop,” he admits, his words cutting through the night air with brutal honesty.
You take another step closer, close enough to see the tension in his jaw, the way his knuckles turn white as he grips the railing. “Bucky,” you say, your voice soft but breaking. “I need more than this. I need to know if you’re ever going to stop running every time things get hard. Because I can’t keep waiting for you to figure it out.”
He turns to face you then, his blue eyes locking onto yours. There’s something in them—something raw and fragile and so heartbreakingly familiar. For a fleeting second, you think this is it. The moment he’ll finally tell you what you’ve been waiting to hear.
But then he looks away, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know if I can.”
The nausea hits you like a punch, twisting your stomach into knots. You take a shaky step back, wrapping your arms around yourself like it might keep you from falling apart. “Do you even want to try?”
His silence is deafening, an answer in itself.
You let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow and sharp. “You’re unbelievable,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him. “I’m standing here, practically begging you to tell me you care, and you can’t even do that.”
“I care,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “You know I care.”
“Do I?” Your voice rises, anger bubbling to the surface, breaking through the pain. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. You say you care, but you act like I’m something you can pick up and put down whenever it’s convenient for you.”
“Stop,” he says, his voice suddenly firm, his eyes snapping back to yours. There’s something desperate in his tone, something pleading that makes your breath hitch. “I don’t… I don’t know how to do this.”
“No, Bucky.” You shake your head, your voice trembling with fury and heartbreak. “You just don’t want to. And there’s a difference.”
The words hang between you, heavy and suffocating. He opens his mouth, like he’s about to say something, but then he stops. His eyes dart back to the city skyline, and you see it—the war he’s waging with himself, the battle between what he wants and what he’s too scared to reach for.
“Say something,” you whisper, your voice cracking under the weight of the moment. “Say anything.”
“I’m seeing someone,” he says suddenly, his hands gripping the railing so tightly you half expect it to snap. The words hit like a freight train, knocking the air from your lungs.
The world around you tilts. Your hands tremble as you take a step back. “Of course you are,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. The bitter laugh that follows feels like it belongs to someone else. “I’m done.”
You turn toward the sliding door, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might shatter. Your hand trembles as you reach for the handle, pausing for just a second, hoping—praying—he’ll stop you. That he’ll fight.
But the silence stretches on, heavier and colder than the night air.
When you glance over your shoulder, he’s still standing there, staring down at the city like he’s already let you go.
Your throat tightens, but you force yourself to slide the door open and step back inside. The warmth of the apartment hits you like a slap, but it does nothing to ease the chill in your chest.
The door slides shut with a quiet thud.
And Bucky doesn’t follow.
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You’d just moved into a new apartment, one that wasn't tainted with all the places he'd touched, places he'd been. It made things easier it wasn't the reason for your move but it helped. Natasha had decided you were both done unpacking for the night so naturally she had dragged you to a party. Steve’s place, of course. The apartment was alive with the energy of too many people crammed into too little space. Natasha had disappeared into a circle of friends near the kitchen, leaving you to nurse your drink in a corner. That’s when you noticed him.
Bucky.
He was leaning against the wall, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Dark hair falling into his eyes, a leather jacket slung over his shoulder despite the heat of the crowded room. He didn’t see you at first, but when he did, his gaze lingered just long enough to make your pulse race.
You told yourself you wouldn’t approach him, but an hour later, you were pressed against the wall in Steve’s hallway, his lips trailing down your neck, his hands gripping your hips like he couldn’t get close enough. It was messy, impulsive, and thrilling.
“We probably shouldn’t,” you’d whispered, your breath catching as his mouth moved against your collarbone.
He’d laughed softly, his voice low and rough. “Yeah. Probably not.”
Neither of you stopped.
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There were moments after that—moments that felt like everything you’d ever wanted. Late nights in his apartment, the room dimly lit by the glow of the city outside. He’d lie next to you, his fingers tracing absent patterns on your arm as you talked about everything and nothing.
He’d tell you about his childhood, the things he rarely told anyone. The weight of his past. And you’d listen, feeling like you were peeling back layers of him that no one else had ever seen.
“You don’t have to fix me,” he’d murmured once, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I like being around you.”
You’d smiled, brushing his hair back from his face. “I’m not trying to fix you, Bucky.”
And in those moments, you weren’t lying.
But then there were the other moments. The ones where he pulled away so fast it left you reeling.
You remember the first time he didn’t text you back. It wasn’t just hours—it was days. Days of overanalyzing every word you’d said to him the last time you saw him. Days of your stomach twisting every time your phone buzzed, only for it to not be him.
When he finally did text, it was so casual it made you want to scream.
“Hey. You good?”
No apology. No explanation. Just like that, he was back. And you let him back in because you didn’t know how not to.
And then there was the jealousy. The way you’d catch him talking to someone else at a party, his body language so open and inviting in a way it rarely was with you. You hated how it made you feel, the bitterness that bubbled up, the way you wanted to pull him aside and demand to know if he cared about you at all.
But you didn’t. You never did.
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“Do you even want to move on?” Wanda asks, her tone soft but pointed. “Or is this just who you are now?”
You blink at her, her words cutting through the haze of your thoughts. “I don’t know,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
She sighs, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. “You deserve better, you know that, right?”
The door swings open, and Natasha walks in, dropping her bag on the counter. She gives you a look, one that’s equal parts sympathetic and exasperated.
“Let me guess,” she says, crossing her arms. “You’re thinking about him again.”
You don’t answer, but the way your jaw tightens is enough for her to roll her eyes. “You know he’s not good for you. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”
“I don’t know,” you snap, harsher than you mean to. “Maybe because it’s not that simple.”
“Actually, it is,” Natasha retorts, her voice sharp. “You stop calling him. You stop answering when he calls. You stop letting him treat you like an afterthought.”
“Nat—” Wanda starts, her tone soothing, but Natasha holds up a hand.
“No, she needs to hear this.” She looks at you again, her expression softening just slightly. “I know you care about him. But caring about him isn’t enough if he doesn’t care about you the same way. At some point, you have to start putting yourself first.”
You glance away, her words hitting too close to home.
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“I don’t get you,” you’d once said your voice trembling with frustration. “One minute you’re here, and it feels like—like maybe this could be something. And the next, you’re gone.”
He’d run a hand through his hair, pacing the room. “It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is, Bucky,” you’d said, your voice rising. “You either want me, or you don’t. So which is it?”
He’d stopped then, turning to look at you. And the look on his face—it wasn’t anger or indifference. It was fear.
“I don’t know,” he’d said finally, his voice breaking.
And that was the worst part.
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“You’re spiraling,” Sam said. He wasn’t harsh about it, but he didn’t sugarcoat it either. “This isn’t love. It’s self-destruction.”
Even as you think it, your phone buzzes on the coffee table. The sound feels too loud in the quiet room, pulling everyone’s attention. You glance at the screen, and your heart skips when you see his name. Just his name—no message preview, no context, just him.
Wanda notices, her brow furrowing as she leans forward. “Don’t,” she says softly, but there’s a weight behind the word, a plea. “You’ll just end up back where you started.”
You stare at the screen, your thumb hovering over the notification. The silence in the room grows heavier, charged with unspoken tension. Your chest tightens as your mind races. It would be so easy. Just one tap, and he’d be there again. One tap, and you’d hear his voice, feel the pull that always brings you back.
“I just…” Your voice falters, your eyes flickering to Wanda and then to Sam, who watches you with a mix of concern and frustration. “What if this time it’s different?”
Sam lets out a bitter laugh, running a hand over his face. “You think this time is different? Come on. What’s he going to say that he hasn’t already said a hundred times before?”
“It’s not about what he says,” Wanda interjects, her voice gentle but firm. “It’s about what he does. And what has he done, really, except hurt you?”
You look back at the screen. The notification is still there, a glaring reminder of the mess you can’t seem to escape. Your thumb presses down slightly, not enough to open it but enough to feel the weight of the choice.
“But I love him,” you whisper. The words tumble out before you can stop them, raw and unfiltered.
Sam exhales sharply, standing up from the chair and pacing across the room. “Yeah, we know. Everyone knows. But does he love you? Because if he does, he’s got a real shitty way of showing it.”
You flinch at his tone, the harshness cutting through your defenses. “He does love me,” you say quietly, more to yourself than to him.
“Then where is he?” Sam snaps, turning to face you. “Why isn’t he here, fighting for you instead of blowing up your phone every time he feels lonely? Why is it always you doing the heavy lifting?”
Wanda places a hand on Sam’s arm, pulling him back gently. “Sam…”
“No, I need to say it,” he says, his voice softer now but still firm. “Love isn’t supposed to feel like this. It’s not supposed to feel like you’re drowning every damn day just to keep him afloat.”
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The bar is too loud, too crowded, and too filled with memories of Bucky for you to feel at ease. But you’re here because it’s Steve’s birthday, and Natasha had insisted. And of course you came it was Steve.
You’re leaning against the bar, talking to a man you barely know. His smile is easy, his laugh smooth, and even though you’re trying to focus on him, you can feel Bucky’s eyes on you. From across the room, his gaze burns into your back, searing through your dress like a brand.
You glance over your shoulder, meeting his eyes for a split second. The tension in his jaw, the way his drink sits untouched in his hand—it’s the most emotion he’s shown all night. But it’s not enough to stop you.
If he wants to act like he doesn’t care, you’ll give him something to not care about.
The man beside you leans in, his hand brushing against your arm as he says something you don’t quite catch over the noise. You laugh, even though you barely hear the joke. You laugh because you know Bucky is watching.
It doesn’t take long for him to snap.
Before you realize what’s happening, his hand is on your wrist. Firm but not rough, his grip sends a jolt through you. “Let’s go,” he says, his voice low and clipped.
“Excuse me?” You pull back, glaring at him, but his grip doesn’t loosen.
“We’re leaving,” he says, not looking at you, not giving the man beside you so much as a glance.
“Bucky—” you start, but he’s already pulling you through the crowd, weaving between bodies with single-minded determination.
By the time you reach his apartment, you’re seething. He slams the door shut behind you, the sound echoing through the dimly lit space.
“What the hell is your problem?” you snap, crossing your arms.
“My problem?” he fires back, pacing across the room like a caged animal. “My problem is you acting like that guy meant anything to you!”
“Oh, and you would know what means something to me, right?” You take a step closer, your voice rising. “Because you’re so good at showing me how much I mean to you.”
He stops, his eyes narrowing. “Don’t turn this on me.”
“Why not? It’s always about you, isn’t it, Bucky? What you want, what you feel. You drag me into your mess every time, and I let you, because I—”
You stop yourself, your breath catching.
“Because you what?” he demands, his voice sharp.
“Because I care about you!” you yell, your chest heaving. “And all you ever do is hurt me for it.”
His face twists, like your words hit him somewhere deep. For a moment, you think he’s going to say something, that he’s going to explain or apologize or do something, but instead, he grabs a plate from the counter and hurls it against the wall. The sharp crash reverberates through the room, the pieces scattering across the floor like jagged confessions neither of you are ready to face.
You flinch at the sound, but the fire in your chest burns brighter, fueled by the chaos. “Oh, real mature, Bucky. Breaking dishes? That’s your solution? Just break things until you don’t have to feel anything anymore?”
He grabs another plate, his hand trembling as he grips it, his knuckles white. His voice breaks as he yells, “You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t know I’m screwing this up? That I don’t hate myself for it?”
“Then stop!” you shout back, your voice raw and cracking under the weight of it all. “Stop hurting me, stop dragging me back, stop—just stop!”
The plate shakes in his hand, and for a second, you think he’s going to throw it again. Instead, he slams it down on the counter with a hollow thud. His shoulders slump as he leans over it, his head bowed like he’s trying to hold himself together. His breathing is ragged, his hands gripping the edge of the counter so tightly you think it might break under the strain.
“I don’t know how,” he whispers finally, his voice so soft you almost don’t hear it. “I don’t know how to be what you need.”
The vulnerability in his voice slices through you, but it’s not enough. Not this time. The ache in your chest is unbearable, your heart breaking as you look at the man you love and realize he’ll never love you the way you need him to.
“Then let me go, Bucky,” you say, your voice trembling but resolute. “If you can’t give me what I need, let me go.”
He finally turns to face you, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I can’t,” he says, his voice breaking like the plates he just shattered. “I don’t want to let you go.”
Your chest tightens, the pain twisting deeper with every word. “Aren’t you seeing someone?” you ask, your voice sharper than you intended.
He shakes his head, his jaw clenching. “She’s not you,” he says, his voice trembling. “They’re never you.”
The admission stuns you into silence for a moment. The tears you’ve been holding back spill over, hot and heavy. “Then why can’t you give me that, Bucky?” you whisper, your voice shaking with anger and grief. “Why can you give it to them but not to me? Why is it always me who’s left bleeding for you? It’s not fair—I give you everything! And you just take, take, take! What’s left of me after this?”
Your words hang between you, raw and unfiltered, and for a moment, he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t try to defend himself, doesn’t even try to apologize. He just stares at you, his eyes wide and desperate, like he’s drowning in the mess he’s made.
Then, without warning, he steps forward, grabbing your face in his hands. His touch is rough, almost frantic, his fingers trembling against your skin. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”
And before you can say anything, before you can even catch your breath, his lips crash into yours.
The kiss is desperate and messy, his tears mixing with yours as he pulls you closer like he’s afraid to let go. His hands shake as they cup your face, his lips pressing against yours with a fierceness that makes your knees weak.
You hate how easily you give in, how quickly your hands find their way to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like it’s the only thing keeping you upright. The anger and pain and longing all bleed together in that kiss, every unspoken word, every broken promise, every piece of you he’s taken without giving anything back.
When he pulls away, his forehead rests against yours, his breath warm and ragged against your skin. “But I can’t lose you. Please… don’t leave me.” He whispers his voice trembling
Your heart shatters all over again. “Okay”
Bucky’s hands tighten on your arms, his breath warm and uneven against your face. His lips hover just above yours, his eyes searching yours for something—permission, maybe, or forgiveness he doesn’t deserve. You don’t give it to him, but you don’t pull away either.
Instead, your hands move on their own, sliding up his chest and curling into the fabric of his shirt. The tension between you snaps like a live wire as he closes the distance again, his mouth crashing against yours with a desperation that leaves no room for hesitation.
The kiss deepens, his lips parting yours, his tongue brushing against yours in a way that sends heat pooling low in your belly. His hands roam down your sides, fingers gripping your hips like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. You press closer, your body molding to his as the frustration and anger between you melt into something darker, hotter, and infinitely more consuming.
Bucky backs you up until your hips hit the edge of the counter, the cool surface biting into your skin through the thin fabric of your dress. His hands slide up your thighs, his touch firm and deliberate as he lifts you onto the counter. You gasp against his mouth, your hands tangling in his hair as he steps between your legs, his body pressing against yours in all the right ways.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs against your lips, his voice rough and breathless. “If this isn’t what you want, tell me now.”
You pull back just enough to look at him, your chest heaving as you meet his gaze. His blue eyes are dark, filled with a mix of longing and uncertainty that tugs at something deep inside you. “Don’t stop,” you whisper, your voice trembling with need.
That’s all it takes. He grips the hem of your dress and pulls it up, his hands sliding over your thighs, rough and calloused against your skin. His lips trail down your neck, his stubble scraping lightly against you as he kisses the sensitive spot just below your ear. Your head tilts back, a soft moan escaping your lips as his hands and mouth make you forget every argument, every broken moment that led you here.
His fingers find the edge of your underwear, his touch teasing as he looks up at you, waiting. You nod, your breath hitching as he slides them aside, his fingers exploring with a skill that leaves you trembling. He watches you intently, his gaze locked on your face as he learns every reaction, every sound you make.
When his name slips from your lips, low and needy, it’s like something inside him snaps. He lifts you effortlessly, carrying you to the couch with a strength that leaves you dizzy. The world blurs around you, your focus narrowing to the feel of his body against yours, the weight of his hands, the intensity of his gaze.
“You’re all I think about,” he says, his voice raw as he settles over you. “Every damn day.”
You don’t answer. You can’t. The only response you can give is the way you arch into him, the way you pull him closer, needing him as much as he needs you. And when he finally joins you, it’s slow and deliberate, every movement designed to pull you deeper into the storm of him.
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The morning light seeps through the curtains as you stand by his window, fully dressed, the quiet hum of the city below serving as your only company. Bucky is still asleep in the bed, his arm draped across the pillow where you had been just hours ago. You glance at him one last time, your heart clenching in your chest. For a fleeting moment, you consider crawling back into bed, letting yourself believe in the softness of this moment.
But you can’t.
You quietly grab your things and slip out the door, the sound of it clicking shut behind you feeling heavier than it should.
By mid-morning, you’ve buried yourself in mundane errands—anything to keep your mind from circling back to him. You’re at the farmer’s market now, weaving through the stalls of fresh produce and flowers, the air filled with the faint scent of lavender and bread. You clutch a tote bag tightly in your hand, trying to focus on the vibrant colors of the fruit in front of you.
You pick up an apple, turning it over in your hand absently. It’s almost enough to distract you from the ache still lodged in your chest. Almost.
Until you see him.
You freeze, the apple slipping from your grasp and thudding softly onto the wooden table in front of you. Your breath catches, and the world seems to narrow until it’s just him, standing only a few stalls away.
His dark hair catches the sunlight, and for a moment, it feels like nothing has changed, like the night before never ended. His eyes are locked on yours, wide and filled with a mix of emotions you can’t quite place—shock, guilt, something softer that makes your chest tighten painfully.
For a moment, it’s just the two of you, suspended in time. Everyone else around you fades into nothing, their chatter and laughter muffled like the background of a dream.
But then your gaze shifts.
To her.
The woman standing beside him.
Her hand is clasped firmly in his, their fingers intertwined in a way that feels too familiar, too intimate. She’s beautiful, her expression warm and open as she looks up at him, clearly unaware of the storm brewing between his gaze and yours.
Your stomach twists violently, and the apple you’d forgotten about rolls off the edge of the table and hits the ground.
Bucky’s face changes when he sees you notice her, his eyes softening with guilt, his mouth parting as if he wants to say something, anything. But he doesn’t.
He just stands there, holding her hand, while your chest caves in.
You swallow hard, your throat tight as you force yourself to look away, your vision blurring with unshed tears. You clutch your tote bag tighter and turn, walking away without another word.
You barely make it out of the market before the tears spill over. You wipe them away furiously, your hands trembling as you duck into a side street, out of view from the crowds.
The weight of his gaze lingers on your back, like a hand reaching out but never quite touching you. You can feel him watching you, but you don’t dare turn around. You can’t.
You stop for a moment, your chest heaving as you lean against the wall of a brick building. The morning sun feels too bright, the world too loud despite the hollow silence pounding in your ears.
He didn’t follow.
You told yourself you didn’t want him to, but the ache in your chest says otherwise.
When you glance back toward the market, just for a second, you see him standing at the edge of the stalls, his hand no longer in hers, his face etched with something that looks like regret.
But he doesn’t move.
And neither do you.
With a deep breath, you wipe your face one last time, adjust the strap of your tote bag, and walk away. The weight in your chest feels unbearable, but your feet keep moving anyway.
The apartment is quiet that night, the silence pressing down on you as you sit by the window, staring out at the city lights. You tell yourself you’re not waiting for him, but your phone sits beside you on the windowsill, the screen dark but heavy with possibilities.
It’s almost midnight when the buzz breaks the silence. You glance at the screen, your heart stopping when you see his name.
The message is simple. “Please, can we talk? I miss you…I’m sorry”
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EMG normal, not done w tests but expect those be normal n even if not, it not explain things
which. normal EMG good thing, yea. have some scary ones on own ddx that this rule out.
people be relief n happy for me n expect me feel same but. don’t have time feel that because all that feel is dread.
dread because this my frail weak last mental defense against trauma & gaslighting & internalized gaslighting “there nothing wrong” “you want something wrong” “you just crazy (derogatory).” last thing keeping me going n trying.
dread that this will (& already has) be use against me. parents already imagine future where “am” in it but am not actually in—a year three years five years later, able bodied walking talking n living independent n “finally happy.” parents encouraged to force me walk use wheelchair less speak more. as someone already with no escape from them because still severely disabled with symptoms & high support needs even if no diagnosis (some diagnosis), who already feel trapped & suffocated & hopeless with no future or escape here before this. worry life going get so much worse.
they don’t understand autism here. don’t understand stereotypical autism don’t understand not-stereotypical autism it all same coin. here see self as ultra in “not-stereotypical autism” category because autism regression include nonverbal late in life. be diagnosed by top autism place in US not matter. it didn’t it doesn’t & it won’t. for people not born nonverbal they see two option: physical muscle or vocal cord issue or psychosomatic mental illness but derogatory. its “real” in sense they supposed say that but its not real. fact that am actually mentally ill just support that more.
wheelchair bad. nonverbal bad. AAC tablet bad. no one can imagine happy life with them except me.
n no one can understand or even try to understand that those actually not what make my life utterly miserable: not have support needs met, not have communication support needs met (give me enviroment that actually feel safe use AAC then maybe will actually communicate more goddamn it), be trapped physically, be trapped mentally by past abuse with people who did that to me who currently doing that to me, have NO COMMUNITY n that there never ever ever will be any community here in person for me so long as stay here. with no end in sight. unless make one for myself. which—too fucking disabled to do that except [redacted]. which. even that, am too severely disabled thus surveillanced to do that.
not to mention those actually one of very few thing in my life give me joy right now (other joy is fiber arts. ok end of list. everything else even stuff used to enjoy is fucking chore. n even fiber arts becoming more of past time & routine than active joy)—it the only fucking thing that giving me any sort of hint of community right now (n also literally allow me do basic function in life like go places but. DIGRESS). even if it fucking small & pathetic & ironically isolating (bc my god the ableism against us. but without community will just be pathetic & isolated ALL ALONE). to advocate take it away, it incredibly cruel.
everyone expect me be able bodied neurotypical walking talking live independent n it that my personal failure not able do that because there “no medical reason” (…still have life long diagnoses but those not good enough real enough for them), faker. n just lost last mental defense against that. so yeah guess am.
dread too for what doctor going say n recommend after all this. honestly more preferable discharge me & let me go back to old life tbh.
in perfect world there be symptom management with no diagnoses & no definitive test results, that focus on work with what got, when it unrealistic or not fucking worth it try turn life upside down make “back” into “normal.” but. mm such thing not exist.
want be treat with dignity & respect & believed & agency even when don’t know what wrong & negative tests.
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oc-cinematic-universe · 2 years ago
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joes like if a man was a shattered ceramic bowl that got fixed up with gold. whatever that repairing technique is called. except the process of repairing also involved finding out the bowl hadn't been complete in the first place, and finding pieces to add to it
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ilikeyoshi · 8 months ago
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you ever just absolutely bawl your eyes out at an article.
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chieana · 2 years ago
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OH MY FUCKING GOD, SO THAT'S WHY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS, GDI, I HAD A MAJOR EPISODE LIKE THIS JUST A SHORT WHILE AGO BECAUSE MY MANAGER TOLD ME I WASN'T PERFORMING LIKE USUAL (which I know and is due to stress, the season change and physical issues all stacked) AND I FUCKING WENT DOWN THE WORST ANXIOUS SPIRAL TO THE POINT OF PLANNING MY SUICIDE
what the fucking fuck, I am so relieved to know that it's A Thing that comes with my ADHD, I never understood it, I've been beating myself up over this my entire life, God DAMNIT
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“WOW IM SO GLAD MY DOCTOR TOLD ME ABOUT THIS” SAID NONE OF US EVER
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radiance1 · 2 months ago
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"Okay, so." Danny began slowly, very, very slowly. Testing the rope that bound his arms behind his back. "This is new... Ish."
"Sorry, sorry." The kid Danny had, unfortunately (but also fortunately), saved from multiple kidnappings from cultists. Said, hands raised in his direction but also not going any further and instead fidgeting in place. "Are they too tight? Do you want me to loosen them?"
"No, no. They're fine." Danny shrugged, silently hoping the Infinite Realms isn't going to smite the unfortunate boy across from him for, you know, kidnapping Danny and all that. "I would say this is one of the more comfortable kidnappings, to be honest."
"Oh, okay. That's good." The kid nodded slowly, though a bit hesitant before deciding not to follow that line of conversation. "Alright, so, my name's Billy." Billy introduced him, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as he gave an awkward smile. "Y'know, the guy you saved from multiple kidnappings and, uh, kidnapped you too."
"Cool, cool." Danny hummed lightly, leaning back against the wall. "Name's Danny, nice to meet you Billy."
"I thought your name was Phantom?" Billy asked, understandably confused.
"It is." Danny confirmed.
"But your name is also, Danny?" Billy tilted his head a bit.
"Yes." Danny said, unhelpfully.
"Is Danny your secret identity?" Billy asked.
"Nope."
"Is Phantom your secret identity?"
"Yes but no."
A beat.
"That makes no sense." Billy said flatly.
"What can I say," Danny shrugged. "Not a lot of things in my life make sense."
"Right, yea." Billy nodded politely, drumming his fingers against his leg. "Interdimensional prince and stuff."
"Yea."
A moment of silence.
"So-" Billy began.
"No, the Ghost King isn't going to hunt you down. No, every other ghost in existence isn't going to hunt you down either and, no. This isn't going to start a war."
Billy blinked.
"Not what I was going to ask, but okay. That's nice to know." He nodded, a certain amount of relief unknotting unknown pressure in his chest he only knew till now.
"Oh." Danny blinked, then tilted his head. "Soooo, what did you want to ask then?"
"Do you want to be my boyfriend-"
"Yes."
===
"Let's fucking GOOOOOO!" Zeus roared, throwing his fists into the air. "Haha! Take that Solomon! I told you it would work!"
Solomon pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in exasperation, reaching into his robe and pulling out 5 gold coins.
"Thank-a you!" Mercury swiped the money right out of his hands then hid them... Somewhere, on his body. Then gave Solomon a wink. "Pleasure doing business with ya!"
===
"Oh, it finally happened." Clockwork remarked calmly, barely pausing as he continued to run the comb through hair.
"The Realms seem out of sorts." Pariah Dark said slowly, twisting his head to try to look back at Clockwork only to turn it right back from the gentle whack of Clockwork's staff. "Should I be concerned?"
"No," Clockwork said casually, running the comb through his king's hair. Honestly, it amazed him that Eons of Eternal Slumber, yet his hair wasn't a rat's nest. "Let it sort itself out, it shall be done in the next century, or the next two millennium, either or."
"You're unsure?" Pariah tilted his head forwards the slightest amount, doing so very carefully as to not disturb the Master of Time's work.
"A rough estimate, though I can give a more accurate statement," Clockwork hummed lightly as he combed through the few knots left. "It is unimportant."
"Ah," Pariah Dark, both trusting and not knowing enough about said subject seeing as he does not have dominion over time, nodded slightly. "I see."
===
The Infinite Realms was very, very happy to see one of its blorbos gain a lover.
It knew interrupting various kidnappings and marking the boy as a good Realms token so they could meet would work out eventually!
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milfsdoll · 2 months ago
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Everybody knows that I’m a good girl, officer.
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Officer!Agnes x reader
Summary: After almost burning your house down because of your boyfriend you end up at the police office, being interrogated by your ex girlfriend.
Warnings: +18, smut, dom/sub dynamics, dom!Agatha, bratty sub!reader, handcuffs, chocking, hair pulling, degrading kink, praise kink, strap on, slight spanking kink, daddy kink, fluff.
Word count: 4k
A/N: this is my first fic so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing! Also english is not my first language <3
Masterlist
——— • ☾ • ————— • ☾ • ————— • ☾ • ———
You honestly didn’t know how it happened, one minute you were screaming at your cheater of a boyfriend and his fucking side chick and the next thing you remember was running out of the house, trying to get away from the flames.
You sighed in relief, finally at home after a long and stressful day at work, your boss was being a bitch again and making you do extra hours just because she feels like it. God how you hated her, you just wanted to go home, have a nice dinner and watch some bad movie with your boyfriend. 
As you reached your door, searching for your keys inside of your needlessly big purse you heard a sound coming from inside of the house, making you stop immediately, what was that? Again, another noise, was it… a moan? Pressing your ear to the door you heard it once again… and again… those were definitely moans “what the fuck?” Was he watching porn or something? I mean you couldn’t blame him if he did, you were barely home, but then you heard it, someone moaning his name. 
Your heart stopped for a moment, he could not… could he? 
With shaky hands and ringing ears you carefully opened the door, the sight of candles all around the hall and into the living room making you shake your head, no, no no no no no, three years, three years of relationship, this couldn’t be happening, right? He wouldn’t throw it all away, not like that, right? Your mind was playing with you, it had to be that.
Slowly, you made your way to said living room, the moans and grunts getting louder, and your heart pace getting quicker, and then you saw it, you were’t crazy, it was really happening “You motherfucker” your hoarse voice causing the room fall silent, your now, ex boyfriend, throwing the blonde girl off his lap, watching as she immediately put her clothes on and ran through the door, you didn’t care a bit about her.
You only focused how he made his way to you, the noises of him trying to talk to you into a pit of lies sounded blurry.
“Honey, it’s not what it looks like I swear” mhm… what a cliche lie,
“It’s her fault! She seduced me” great try, another one, 
“I’m so sorry, my love” huh, that was a good one… no,
“It’s not my fault you’re never home to get me off, I had to find someone else!” oh there was it, that son of a bitch.
Everything went red, you weren’t conscious of what you were doing, throwing everything your hands reached at him, screaming how much of a stupid fucker he was, not even trying to hide it, doing it in your own fucking home! And you didn’t realize one of the many things you threw at him was one of the big candles he set, hitting against the curtains.
It happened too fast, there was fire everywhere, and you stood there, frozen in the middle of the living room, staring at the burnt out wall, realizing what a stupid thing you did, I mean you didn’t even love him, you never did, but you trusted him, and you felt fucking betrayed. 
It wasn’t until a big flame got into your view you got out of your shock and ran out of the house, a police car already waiting for you.
And now here you were, sat in the interrogation room, leg shaking with anxiety and your heel kicking the floor repeatedly, staring at the door as if someone would appear faster. You’ve been waiting like 20 minutes already, and you knew there was only one person in the police office at this hour so you didn’t understand why she was making you suffer like this.
It’s something she have always loved to do.
As those thoughts ran through your head the door opened, revealing the brunette woman, she leaned against the door after closing it, studying you for a moment, she tried to grasp everything around her head, trying to understand the reason behind all of this “I’m very curious… what made you burn your house down and nearly killing you and your boyfriend?”
You scoffed and the last word “not my boyfriend, not after tonight” your words sounded furious and… painful, you squirmed in the chair, feeling quite uncomfortable “I didn’t mean to ok? You know I’m not that crazy” 
Agnes and you had a… situationship in the past, you both wanted more, wanted a serious relationship but her work and schedule were a problem, you barely saw her once a week or two causing you to argue a lot, so you both decided to part ways and stay friends, it was the best for both of you.
Or that’s what you wanted to believe anyway.
The older woman hummed, detaching herself from the door and sitting on the chair in front of you “I know” of course she knew, she knew you weren’t capable of hurting a flower “that’s why I’m asking you” 
You looked up at her from your fidgeting hands “I caught that fucker cheating, alright? I-I got furious and started throwing things at him and maybe… accidentally, I threw him a lit candle” replaying the scene in your head you let out a giggle, seeing his stupid face was worth it after all “but honestly Agnes? I don’t regret a thing”
Well… maybe you were a little crazy.
She fought back a smirk, she couldn’t blame you, he deserved it, she always knew that bastard wasn’t good for you, and if she had found out about it before she would have done the same thing, or worse, no one but she can mess with her girl “well, I’m sorry” she wasn’t, at all “but I’m afraid you have to spend the night in the tank”
What? No
No way you were gonna spend a second in that hell hole.
And just like that, an idea crossed your mind, it was risky but you knew very well it would work, for both of you.
“But… Aggie” you whined, looking at her with doe eyes, yes… you were playing that card “you know I’m a good girl” she flinched in surprise, feeling your foot caress her leg under the table. 
Those eyes, those fucking eyes.
You were playing a dangerous game, but oh… two can play this game and she hates to lose.
Without saying a word she got up, slowly making her way around the table, you watched her intently, like a prey watching her hunter’s next move, and then suddenly you let out a gasp, she threw your chair back with a kick, caging you between her arms, resting them on each side of the chair.
“Are you? Because I only remember you being a fucking brat” she was so close, so close you could smell her woody perfume, her breath against your face, fuck how you’ve missed her, every smell, every touch, every word of hers.
No one could ever compare to Agnes.
“And I remember you loving it… you loved to fuck the brattiness out of me, you loved to shut me up shoving your dick in my mouth” your hand carefully ran up her leg, watching her breath hitch you never took your eyes off hers, and just as you reached her crotch you felt something hard, making you bite you lip “you haven’t changed a bit Agnes, always packing around with that purple d-” 
She didn’t let you finish, grabbing you by the throat, shoving you up and against the wall, earning a huffed grunt from you and grabbing her wrist for support.
There she was, the rough Agnes you always loved, how she lost control of herself because of you, it made you weak on the knees, your mind already fogging into submission, but you had to fight it back, you wanted to test her limits, to totally break her, and let her break you from the inside in return.
On her end she knew she should tease you further, see how far you were capable of going but she was so weak for you, all this time apart from you, trying to find you in other girls but there wasn’t anyone like you, she only wanted you, she needed you, like she knew you needed her.
“You’re playing a dangerous game you know you’ll lose to here, pet”
God, you loved when she called you that, her pet, her plaything, her doll to play around anytime and anywhere she wanted. 
No.
Focus.
Break her.
“Is that the best you can do Aggie? Aww, maybe I was wrong, maybe you’ve lost your spark” 
Yes, yes, yes, that was the look you were searching for, that rough, primal look that sent you into a subspace without hesitation, you were ready to take whatever she wanted to give you.
Agnes pushed her leg between yours, pressing against your center, watching as your face squirmed in pleasure, she always found it fascinating how she could pull these kind of reactions out of you with such little actions “you really think you’re in control here, hm?”
You both knew the answer, you both knew there was no way you could take control.
“A-Agnes, is this really the place to do this?” Your voice came out hushed and shaky, your mind fighting to get a hold of itself.
The older woman chuckled darkly at your state “oh please, don’t tell me you’re chickening out now doll” and she knew you were right, the interrogation room was no place for this but she knew too neither of you were gonna be capable of waiting another second. 
She would deal with the consequences later.
Her hand on your throat loosened, letting you breathe for a bit, they travelled down your figure, stopping on your waist, her eyes burning into yours, you saw her expression change for a moment “you have no idea how much I missed you”
Shit, this wasn’t in your plan.
You gulped, trying to loose the nervous knot in your throat “I missed you too, every fucking day” your voice came out in a whisper, as if you were telling her your deepest secret, and maybe it was. 
Agnes pulled you close, her hands tightening around your waist as if you were going to disappear from her grasp, she had to make sure this was real and not just a dream.
Your lips ghosted against hers, your hands caressing her face, eyes still locked on each other, both of you trying to search for any sign of regret “are you sure you want this?” that made you nod eagerly “I need words baby”
“Yes, yes Aggie, I want you… I need you”
And then her lips were on yours, it was slow and sweet at first, both of you trying to savour the moment after all these years apart, but just as a moan escaped your lips Agnes lost it, her tongue asking for entrance licking your lip, you immediately let her, submitting to her, letting her take control of the kiss. 
You were always so good to her, always her good girl.
She walked backwards until her legs hit the table turning you both around “up” she simply said patting your hip softly, causing your puffy lips break into a smile, and of course you obeyed her, hopping on the table before grabbing her by the collar and smashing your lips against hers again.
Your impatient hands deciding to rip her flannel shirt after various failing attempts unbuttoning it, the action making the older woman to laugh against your lips “you’re buying me a new one” 
You huffed “you have plenty of those, officer” she smirked at the new title.
“Cute, but I like the old title better” her hands making their way into your pencil skirt, stroking your inner thighs, realizing how much she missed your soft and warm skin, how she missed having those thighs around her head, clenching and unclenching with every one of her touch.
“Okay… daddy” 
And just with that her whole mind went feral, grabbing the slit of your skirt she ripped it in two, making you gasp and looking at her in disbelief “well, now we’re even” before you could spit back at her she cupped your cunt, your head falling back with a moan “fuck, did I make you this wet, pet?” She bit her lip, rubbing the wet spot on your thong with her fingers. 
“You know you always do, even only the thought of you does” That stroked her ego, thinking how you got this messy only thinking of her, after all this time, it made her even more eager to ruin you.
You watched her as she got on her knees, your breath hitching as she travelled your thighs with kisses, pushing your legs apart so she could tease you further but never where you really wanted her. 
You knew what she wanted, teasing you like that, playing with the stripes of your thong with her fingers, but you just whined, grabbing her head attempting to push her to your center but she just sat back, looking at you with a raised eyebrow “come on… it’s not that hard to ask me nicely if you want it that bad, doll”
Groaning desperately, your mind trying to fight back the words you just stared at her with heavy breath, her eyes watching your every desperate move, knowing very well the fight that was going on in that pretty head of yours.
And she knew exactly how to get it out of you.
“Do it for me, pet, come on beg for daddy” she then continued with her kisses, now starting from your ankle, watching as you gripped the ends of the table tightly “be a good girl and beg for me to fuck you, sweet thing”
Your jaw hanged low, your eyebrows furrowing in total desperation.
Come on, you just have to say the word.
Be a good girl.
Her good girl.
“Please” 
It came out shaky, her kisses stopping to look at you “please, please fuck me Aggie”
Yes, much better. 
She had you just where she wanted you “there you are, my good girl”
Then you both rushed to discard your thong and the ripped skirt before she locked your legs around her shoulders, finally burring her head in your center, giving your clit a long lick that had both of you moaning, your hand flying to her hair, pushing her further into you, wanting to feel her even closer.
And she gladly did, wanting to get drunk of your taste, her skilled mouth nipping and sucking on your clit, loving every sound she pulled from you, holding your hips down as they desperately rolled towards her face. 
Your back arched into nothing as you felt her two fingers tease your entrance “fuck, daddy please” your submission making the older woman chuckle only of the vibrations to go right to your core, causing you to let out a strangled moan.
And deciding to put your suffering to an end Agnes slowly pushed her large digits inside you, feeling your legs tense around her head, her pace painfully slow, to focused on your face and reactions, your head almost snapping back as she curled her fingers inside of you, making you struggle to breathe at the amount of pleasure she was giving you.
She could never get enough of you, your intoxicating taste and addicting sounds, she could spend the rest of her life between your legs, driving you absolutely mad with just her mouth and fingers, feeling your warm hole, how you clenched and unclenched around her fingers trying to last a little more only to have her like this.
Quickening her pace, her got up, pulling you into a deep kiss as her thumb continued the abuse on your clit, swallowing your whines and moans and letting you taste yourself, her free hand making it’s way inside of your top, finding your nipple and pinching it between her finger, she always loved how you went braless everywhere, making it easier for her to access.
And when she felt your core clench harder, knowing you were already close to your orgasm, all her movements stopped “w-what are you doing?” you whined out, tears threatening to spill from your eyes from the overstimulation.
“Shh, it’s ok” she kissed your temple “open your mouth”
Without hesitating for a second you obeyed, her fingers slipping in, making you instantly close your mouth and suck, watching as her lips parted and pupils darkening in pleasure, your tongue playing with her fingers, cleaning them before she got them out, your mouth letting out a ‘pop’ sound. 
She then suddenly pushed you off the table and turned you around, pressing your front against the cold surface, manhandling you in the position she wanted “you better keep your hands there” she said locking your hands on your back.
“I will, daddy” you bit your lip from giggling shaking your ass against the hard bulge in her pants, knowing the effect that action had on the woman. 
There was silence for a moment, you could feel her eyes on you, and then- 
slap!
You gasped in surprise, your body jumping forward “keep that up and it won’t be the only one” you felt her deep voice right in your ear, her hand caressing you red and itchy bottom cheek.
You couldn’t deny and say you didn’t like it, on the contrary, it felt fucking good, but right now you just wanted her to fuck you raw, so just nodded keeping in mind to bring that side of her another time. 
The sound of a belt unbuckling reached your ears, your heartbeat fastening in excitement and your legs rubbing against each other for some friction yes please, please, please, your hands twitched, needing to grab onto something, or to feel her under your touch “keep. them. there.” 
It was easy, right?
Wrong.
You swallowed a whine in anticipation, feeling her hand running down your back, stopping on your waist, and just as you felt her rub against your entrance your hands flew to grab the table for support “oh… my poor pet…” she roughly grabbed your wrists, and after a second you felt something cold around them, and then a click “you asked for it” 
Did she just put her handcuffs on you? Fuck, you shouldn’t find it as hot as you found it.
She took advantage of that distraction to push herself inside of you, watching your whole body squirm in pain and pleasure while a loud moan escaped your lips, stilling for a moment, letting you adjust to her size, and it only took her seeing your hips start to push back into her to slide out almost entirely before roughly pushing into you again, the table cracking at the action “fuck!” 
She kept her rough but slow pace, the sounds of your moans and whines getting louder, oh how she missed having you like this, all fucked out because of her, your little brain only filled with her and the pleasure she was giving you. 
You felt her hand interlock into your hair, and in a sudden move your back was flushed against her front, both of you seeing your reflexion in the mirror on the wall “look at you… already so ruined and I just started fucking you” you clenched around the strap, wishing she could feel how your body reacted to her words, but she could see it, she saw how your breath stopped for a second, how your eyes closed with a cute little frown on your eyebrows.
Her free hand made it’s way around your throat, squeezing it just the right amount to make your mind fog, your moans fighting to get out as her pace quickened, but it wasn’t enough, you needed more “p-please” you managed to let out, looking at her through the reflexion.
Just like she could read your mind she removed her hand from your hair and painfully slow travelled down your body, rubbing and pinching your nipple, scratching your lower stomach, before finally making you roll your eyes back, pressing your clit between her fingers, while her dick hit that right spot it had you seeing stars. 
The obscene sounds of your skin against hers and your strangled breath turning the older woman on more than she would admit, her praises in your ear as she abused your clit faster “Good girl… you’re doing so good for daddy”
Your legs already shaking, the knot on your lower stomach getting harder to hold “d-daddy please, please let me cum” your almost pornographic moans getting more desperate by the second “fuck- please I’m so close!”
“Cum for me” it only took those words from her to reach your orgasm, your lips parting in an ‘o’ shape, summing all over her strap.
She slowed her pace, helping you through your orgasm, only stopping when your limb body fell on the cold table, making you shudder.
She let you catch your breath for a second, stroking your back up and down before she stood you up again, turning you around to see your fucked out face.
You opened your eyes to look at her smirking face, causing you to chuckle “hi” you whispered, closing the gap between your lips, both of you humming “are you gonna uncuff me now, officer?” 
“Not yet” she pecked your lips lovingly again before looking at you, with those demanding eyes “on your knees” 
You stared at her for a second, your breath hitching once again in anticipation, and slowly you got on your knees before her, watching her with doe eyes “you know what to do, clean your mess doll” and that you did, your tongue darting out to lick her shaft from the base, never taking your eyes off hers, slowly taking the large, purple dick into your mouth.
Her hand rested on your cheek, her thumb softly wiping away a tear that fell from your eye, her shaft hitting the back of your throat “breathe beautiful, through your nose” she hummed as she held your face down, enjoying having you like this again, your mouth full of her, struggling to breathe and those beautiful tears on your face. 
So fucking obedient for her.
When you started to cough around her she finally pulled out, helping you get up, and sitting you on the table while uncuffing you, her lips kissing all over your face as you recovered, your hands fisting on her navy blue tank top as soon as they were free “you did so good for me, sweetheart” she whispered against your lips, making you smile. 
“Thank you Aggie” 
You rested your forehead against hers, both of you savoring the sweet moment, her hands tightly around your waist in a possessive and protective way.
These were the moments you missed the most, her sweet self taking care of you, making sure you were ok like she didn’t just fuck your brains out a minute ago.
It was almost comical.
“So… officer, am I still spending the night in the tank?” She laughed at that, kissing your forehead softly, you were insufferable.
“Thinking about it… it will be the best if you spend the night at my place” you bit your lip suppressing a smile, you were too excited to wake up in the morning next to the older brunette woman ��what do you think?”
“I’d love to” you whispered before pulling her into a loving kiss.
She helped dressing up again, giving you a pair of sweats she had in her office, and when you were gonna leave her office she grabbed you hand, pulling you flush against her.
She stared at you trying to get the words out, you could see the fight she was having in her mind projected in those blue eyes, so you planted a soft kiss on her nose, your hands caressing her cheeks trying to calm her thoughts, and then she said it.
“Be mine”
Your eyes locked, her eyebrows furrowing in worry as you took a second to reply, but when your lips broke into a smile she knew the answer.
“I have always been yours Agnes”
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runningwithscizzorz · 8 months ago
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(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references
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(2) Understand what you want to break and how
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(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can
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(4) It's going to look really bad for a while
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(5) Have fun with it!
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(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.
-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.
(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!
(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.
(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.
(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY
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blushweddinggowns · 4 months ago
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Eddie woke up with a pounding headache and an intense sense of dread. He groaned as he sat up, shutting his eyes to block out the searing light from the window.
He took a deep breath before opening them again, letting out a sigh of relief when he realized he was in his own room, safe in their apartment. But that wasn't stopping his pounding headache.
God, what the fuck happened last night? He remembered going to Gareth’s party, getting cross-faded. Then, just pure white-boy wasted as the night went on and someone brought out tequila shots. He remembered whining about missing Steve to some guy-
Oh god. The guy. It came screaming back to him, blurry and unfocused but there.
I can be your boyfriend for the night.
How the fuck had the line worked on him? Eddie didn't know, but he knew that it had. He remembered kissing him, whimpering into his mouth while moaning Steve’s name. How good it felt.
What the fuck had he done?
Pure panic was starting to set in. He cheated on Steve. He actually cheated on Steve. And for what? Because he hadn't seen him for a few weeks? It only took one vacation with Robin for him to destroy the trust they built? Was he that pathetic? That selfish? That idiotic?
He didn't even remember how far they'd gone. He didn't even know how he got home. Or if the guy came with him. The idea of him fucking someone else in their bed made him feel physically ill. Ill enough to have Eddie jumping out of bed, frantic as he looked around for any clues. But there was nothing. Just the evidence of the life he'd built with his boyfriend. The one that he had single handedly ruined.
Maybe he could just not tell him. Keep it secret for the rest of his fucking life. Track down anyone who did know and blackmail them to be quiet. That seemed more sane then coming clean. Sane enough to have Eddie stumbling out of his room in a hurry.
But before he could call Gareth to insanely demand the names of anyone who could have seen him, he smelled it. The scent of coffee brewing, plus the sound of a happy hum.
Steve was home. A whole day early.
Holy shit, Eddie was going to be sick. He was actually going to puke. The feeling bad enough to make his legs weak, so bad he crashed right into the wall.
Loud enough to have Steve calling after him, "Babe, is that you?"
Eddie opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out.
Not when Steve was rounding the corner, smiling at him like that. All soft and loving, "There you are. Rough night?"
Was that the last time he would look at him like that?
"Eddie?" Steve asked, frowning at his lack of answer, "Are you okay?"
Eddie wanted to die. He actually wanted to die. Why had he done this? But he couldn't lie to him. Not with the sweet, trusting way Steve was looking at him. He just couldn't.
"I need to tell you something," Eddie finally managed to choke out, his heart beating so fast he was scared Steve could hear it. Maybe he'd have a heart attack it he was lucky. Avoid this whole shit show through almost dying.
But he wasn't that lucky.
Steve cocked his head at him, "What's wrong?"
"I'm so sorry, Stevie," Eddie said, letting his first thought come out, "I'm so fucking sorry."
"What are you talking about?"
"I kissed someone," Eddie blurted out, his hands shaking as he started to word vomit, "Last night. A-At the party I told you about."
Steve just stared at him.
"I-I was drunk!" Eddie went on, his voice coming out wet, "It didnt mean anything, I don't even know why I did it."
Steve still wasn't saying anything. He was just looking at him, his expression unreadable. It just made Eddie feel more desperate.
"Please say something," Eddie begged, "I know this is bad. I do. But I dont even know who he is. I-I won't do it again!"
Steve still had his head cocked as he looked at him, something in his eyes that Eddie didn't understand, "Is that all?"
Fuck no that wasn't all. Not when Steve was looking at him like that. Eddie didn't even think about it as he sunk to his knees, fully fucking ready to beg at Steve’s feet.
"I love you," Eddie tried, the tears he was holding back finally starting to fall, "I fucked up. I know I fucked up but please don't leave me. Please. I can make up for this. I can. Please."
It was hard to see him through the tears in his eyes, hard to comprehend anything through how fucking bad Eddie felt, the sheer amount of self-loathing nearly drowning him completely. His vision was cloudy enough to almost make it look like Steve was... smiling at him?
Steve reached down, grabbing Eddie underneath the armpits to help lift him back onto his feet. Strong in a way that still made Eddie's heart skip a beat whenever he saw it in action. He led a still sniffling Eddie to the couch, grabbing for his hand when they sat down.
"Baby, how do you think you got home last night?" Steve asked.
Eddie frowned, "I-I don't know. I don't remember."
"Do you remember what the guy looked like?"
Eddie swallowed, so nervous he was still kind of afraid he was going to puke. And he highly doubted that puking on Steve would help his case for him to stay, "I don't remember fully."
"What do you remember?"
Eddie sighed, looking down into his lap, "I remember missing you. And then a point where I got drunk enough to say it to anyone who would listen. Then this guy showed up and he said-"
"I can be your boyfriend for the night?"
Eddie snapped his head up, staring at Steve with his mouth open. How the fuck did he know that?
"And then did he do this?" Steve asked as he brought his hand up, cupping Eddie's cheek. Looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world before placing his thumb on Eddie's bottom lip, teasing it with a smile, "Before saying you were beautiful?"
"I-yes? But how-"
"Honey," Steve sighed, a touch exasperated but mostly fond, "I got back last night. Then went to go find you when I remembered about the party."
Oh god, did that mean Steve saw the whole thing? Was this the calm before he kicked Eddie out? Was he about to be dumped-
"I can see your brain working babe, but it's working in the wrong direction."
"Huh?" Eddie asked, completely lost on why Steve was smiling at him instead of cursing his name.
"Eddie, it was me," Steve said calmly, though his face said he was holding back a laugh, "You made out with me. Before I took us home and you failed at trying to give me road head on the way home. Twice."
"I-what?" Eddie asked, shellshocked.
"You cheated on me with me, babe," Steve laughed, his calm face finally breaking, "Then when we got home, you cried about missing me to me. You're adorable when you're wasted. Stupid, but adorable."
"Oh my fucking God," Eddie breathed out, the reality of the situation hitting him. He groaned, hiding his face in his hands while Steve cackled next to him. He had never felt like a bigger fucking moron, Jesus Christ, "I am never drinking tequila again."
"Good idea," Steve chuckled as he pried Eddie's hands away from his face. He brought one to his mouth, kissing his fingers as he grinned, "But I love the honesty, sweetheart. 10/10. And the begging? Kind of hot."
"I was terrified!" Eddie moaned, staring up at the ceiling as a blush climbed up his neck, "You scared the shit out of me."
"You scared yourself!" Steve laughed, grabbing for Eddie's chin to force his head back down to look at him. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "My favorite little drama queen."
"You're a bastard," Eddie grumbled, like he wasn't smiling when Steve leaned in to kiss him on the lips, "Evil."
"But wasn't I a good boyfriend for the night?" Steve asked, laughing even harder when Eddie pinched his side. Eddie leaned in to kiss him again, effectively shutting him up as the last of his anxiety drained away.
But one thing was for sure. Tequila would be his worst enemy until the day he died.
Purely inspired by this post by @hawkinsbnbg
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misserabella · 6 months ago
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two geniuses (playing love)
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masterlist!
synopsis; feelings flourish in between the two of you as you’re forced to act as a couple. could a kiss finally let the two of you understand what was really going on underneath your supposedly hatred? you’re scared to find out.
cw; +18 content! minors dni!!, guns, shots being fired, girls being bitches, bickering, lots of teasing, so much flufffffff, spencer and reader being confused, pining, neck kisses, making out (their first kiss!!), violence, guns, shots being fired, spencer gets flustered a lot, also gets a boner… (so much more that i probably can’t remember)…
“so what do we know about this unsub?” hotch asked, all of you were sitting on the police station around the table, trying to understand this killers motive.
“well, we know his killings evolve around y/n.” morgan stated the obvious, to what you sighed.
“stalkers may exhibit a range of psychological issues, including personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and delusional disorders like erotomania. stalking behaviors can also be influenced by insecure attachment styles rooted in childhood experiences.” spencer added, and you nodded.
“erotomania is a delusional disorder that makes a person believe the person of their infatuation hace reciprocated feelings or love and affection, when they don’t. it may even be a person they’ve never met. they might even be famous, like a politician or an actor. people with this disorder can be so sure of this love that they think they’re in a relationship with this person. they may not be able to accept facts that prove otherwise. it is also called de clérambault syndrome, and it’s rare. it can happen on its own. but it’s usually linked to another mental health condition, like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. it can last for weeks or years.” you recited as if you were reading it off of a book.
“you two are like an encyclopedia.” emily smiled, chuckling.
“so this killer will go to the extreme of killing for you if needed.” jj nodded.
“seems like it.” you answered.
“he also seems pretty possessive and protective of you. he seems to have noticed spencer too.” morgan pointed out.
“you think he might think we’re dating?” you inquired with disbelief.
“it would play to our favor. if our profile around him is right, he might not be able to control the need to stay quiet about it and take action.” gideon said, what made you scoff.
“so what now? we should hold hands and act like a happy couple? fuck no.”
“y/n.” hotch scolded you.
“i’m sorry but that’s not gonna work. if none of you have noticed, spencer and i don’t really get along.”
“shocker!” emily sarcastically said, to what you squinted your eyes at her.
“come on guys… i can’t be the only one who doesn’t see this working out.” you tried to make up their minds and spencer pitched in.
“yeah. and to be honest i don’t want to become the unsub’s new target.” spencer pointed out.
jj stepped in. “it's true that your relationship has been strained, but you're both intelligent individuals. i’m sure you can put aside your differences to sell this lie. it's not about whether or not you like each other; it's about stopping this unsub at all costs." you listened to her words, groaning. she was right. you needed to stop acting like children and work together to catch this unsub.
you looked at spencer, who was already looking at you, communicating with a nod.
“you’re right.” you sighed at jj. “i guess it’s the only way, huh?” you gave in.
hotch stepped in, a flicker of relief crossing his face. "good. now, let's think through the details. we need to create a plausible backstory for your relationship, make sure your body language and interactions are believable, and be prepared for any curveballs the unsub might throw at us. this isn't going to be easy, but I have faith in both of you, and I know you can make this work." you pinched the bridge of your nose.
“how should we… how should we act around each other?” you inquired, cringing internally.
rossi answered “for your relationship to appear authentic, you'll need to display a certain level of intimacy and affection.”
“holding hands, touching each other frequently, being in close proximity… you can't come across as distant or awkward, as that would immediately raise suspicions.”emily added.
“you need to convince the unsub that you're truly in love with each other." jj finished and you scoffed.
“well that’s gonna be easy…” you sarcastically said, bracing yourself for what’s about to come.
-
his hand is warm, big engulfing your own. and clammy. spencer is nervous, awkward, you can feel it as you two walk through the beach, the light breeze hitting your skin, the salt engulfing your lungs.
you two have not said one word since you’ve left the headquarters, not on the way back to the hotel, or when you moved your things into his room, or on the way to the beach…
silence. total and absolute silence.
this was your new reality. to play fantasy with the person you hated the most. to act as if only love was what stood between the two of you and not this immense hatred that gnawed at your insides.
“did you know that by the amount of germs a hand holds it’s actually safer to kiss?” he asks, and his voice sounds hoarse by the silence he has buried himself in.
you hummed. “does that mean you’d prefer me to kiss you instead or hold your hand?” you asked, and he choked.
“what? no! no, what i meant is… i just…” you chuckled.
“relax, reid. it was a joke. i want to kiss you as much as you want to kiss me.” you rolled your eyes. “you’re so tense that whoever saw you would think im holding you hostage and making you hold my hand.” he scoffs.
“sorry. it’s just… awkward.”
“tell me about it…” you sighed, leaving your beach bag down onto the sand. “i think this might be a good spot.”
“for what?” he inquired, letting go of your hand.
“we’re supposed to be on a date, reid. doing things a couple does. you know… watch the sunset, spend time together… all of that.”
“oh.” he muttered. “yeah. that makes sense.” he nodded, watching you take out a couple of towels to spread them across the sand.
“gonna help me or stand there watching?” you chuckled, and he quickly moved to help you, muttering a ‘right, sorry’ that made you laugh internally. who’d know spencer could act like this? embarrassed and coy in front of you?
then he sat, book in hand. of course. “seriously? you’re gonna read right now?” you inquired him and he looked up at you.
“why not? the beach is one of the most relaxing places to read.” he shrugged, and you shook your head, pulling from your beach dress to get it off, leaving yourself on a blue bikini.
his eyes trailed down your sun kissed skin, the sun was setting, giving you a golden hue that made you shine.
“come with me.” your words took him out of his mind, his eyebrows raising as you offered him your hand. “come on.” he seemed suspicious, but again, he had to trust you if this lie was gonna be bought. and so he took your hand and got up. he tried not to think about the fact that your body was mostly exposed, and about the feeling of your soft smaller hand on his bigger one.
you let him go once he was up on his feet, and he took off his shirt, leaving him on his swimwear.
“so i wasn’t actually hallucinating it the last time… where were you hiding that?” you teased him, looking at his soft but toned body. he rolled his eyes.
“stop looking at me.”
“why? does it make you nervous?” you rose your eyebrows. “do i make you nervous, spencer?” you leaned in and he took a step back.
“no. i just don’t like it.” his nose scrunched up and you hummed.
“yeah, right.” you rolled your eyes, giving him your back to start walking towards the shore.
“no. really.” he followed you with a frown, feet fast behind you.
“it’s okay, spencer. your little crush on me it’s cute.”
his eyes widened. “what?! i don’t have a crush on you!”
your feet met the water and you walked in. you heard his splashes behind you as the water met your knees. it was just the perfect temperature.
“you’re dumb.” you said while facing him once again. and he gave you an incredulous look.
“i’m not dumb! why would i be dumb?”
“because of this.” and with a quick movement you were maneuvering him into the water, leaving him splashing your thighs and tummy. you laughed at his glare and shocked expression, his pretty hair now mildly soaked. “god. reid. it’s the second time this happens to you. you don’t learn!”
“you think this is funny, do you?” he asks you, looking up at you.
“definitely.” you nodded, still chuckling, your chest heaving up and down with ragged breathing.
“yeah?”
“yea-“ but before you could finish he was grabbing your hand and pulling you down into the water with him. you froze as you fell on his lap, water splashing around the two of you.
“well, check who’s in the water now, huh?” he was laughing at your shocked expression and damp face before he noticed the position in which the two of you were in, his laughter dying quickly enough.
his eyes met your body, wet in droplets that slid down your chest and navel towards your hips submerged in the water and on top of his. he swallowed at the feeling of your soft weight on him, the swell of your chest right in front of his face, centimeters away from his lips. the curve of your neck… your hair falling over it and down your collarbones… the warmth of your hands on his shoulders, the softness of the skin of your hip under his unconscious grip.
you looked down at him. at his messy hair that had started curling due to the salt, at his thin yet toned build, his heaving chest, his sharp jaw, his hazel puppy eyes, his long lashes… the way he was now looking at you…
“uhm…” he cleared his throat. and the spell in between the two of you broke. you shook your head.
“i should probably…” you pointed at your back, trying to gesture that you should get up, and he nodded, pulling his hands away from your body.
“yeah. yeah.” he nodded, and you used him for leverage to get back on your feet. it was awkward. the tension in between the two of you as he too got back on his feet, neither of you looking at each other. the sun was setting.
“i think i’m gonna… go read.” you nodded.
“yeah. okay. i’ll… i’ll meet you there.” he copied the shaking of your head, and after a couple of seconds in silence he staggered in turning around and getting out of the water. you only went in deeper, submerging your head under the waves, where there was no noise, and no thoughts clouding your head. no doubts. although you could still feel the vivid heartbeat of your heart, crashing harshly against your ribs.
spencer tried to focus on his book, but as much as he’d like to not admit it, his eyes were zeroed on you.
-
“okay…” you hummed. “ursa minor.” you pointed at the sky.
the sun was long gone, and yet, spencer and you still were on the beach, lying on your towels, admiring the map of stars above your heads.
spencer took his turn, pointing just a little bit far away from your constellation. “ursa mayor.”
“now that’s and easy one.” you rolled your eyes teasing him, and he couldn’t help but copy you.
“okay. what about… camelopardalis?” he pointed it out in the sky and you hummed.
“now you’re just showing off.” he groaned.
“oh, so now i’m showing off?” he smirked and you nodded.
“yeah, come on. you could have just pointed out draco. instead you chose camelopardalis? you’re a show off.” he chuckled.
“okay. maybe i just wanted to shut you up.” he shrugged and you laughed.
“now, that’s not easy.”
“tell me about it.” he mumbled. “hey look. it’s saturn.” he pointed it out, it shining more than a normal star.
“and mars.” you said, pointing it out as well.
“and dwarf planet 1 ceres.” he added and you looked at him with your eyebrows raising.
“you’re bluffing.”
“i’m not!”
“yes you are, reid. that planet can only be seen with binoculars. you wear glasses!”
“how do you know that?” you laughed.
“caught you!” he rolled his eyes.
“okay. maybe i memorized tonight’s sky map, so what?” you chuckled at his response.
“you’re a nerd.”
“yeah? well so are you. what’s your iq, 170?”
“177.” his eyes widened. “what?”
“i mean. i knew you were intelligent. but we almost share the same iq. that’s… that’s impressive.”
“was that a compliment, doctor reid?” you smirked.
he shook his head with a smile, scoffing. “no.”
“it was though.”
“it wasn’t.”
“it totally was.” your bickering caused him to laugh.
“you’re insufferable.” he groaned, and you smiled.
“i know.” you two rested in silence, looking at the sky. “this isn’t so bad…” he looked at you. “i mean, sure. i don’t like you. and acting as your girlfriend totally sucks, believe me. but i thought it would be worse.” he hummed.
“you have a way of complimenting someone and at the same time insulting them that is fascinating.” he said, and you chuckled. “by the way… what time is it?” you took your phone.
“almost one am.” you answered his question.
“we should probably get going.” he muttered and you rose your eyebrows.
“you want me back into your bed so soon, reid?” he scoffed.
“you really like to assume those kinds of things. in the end i’m gonna start thinking you’re the one who wants me in your bed.” your eyes widened.
“fuck no!” you said while getting up from the towel, and he smirked up at you.
“you sure?”
“of course i am.”
“then why are you avoiding my eyes?” he got up to stand beside you, a smirk on his face. you wanted to punch it out of him.
“i’m not.” you scoffed.
“but you are.” your skin rose in goosebumps as he stepped closer, your breath hitching when he took your chin and made you look up at him into his hazel eyes. the moonlight made them shine. and for a moment you forgot that he was teasing you, playing with you.
“i don’t want you in my bed.” you said, straight into his eyes, pushing away his touch. he smiled.
“okay. i’ll believe you.” you looked away from him as he started gathering his things and put on back his shirt. you wondered why your cheeks were burning. why your heart was racing.
he put your beach bag over his shoulder. “let’s go.” and even though your body jolted underneath his touch as he took your hand to guide you down the shore back to the hotel —and you reminded yourself that this was all part of the lie you were playing—, you let him.
-
“how are our lovebirds?” garcia asked through the phone and you rolled your eyes.
“would be better if you’d catch this guy now…” you said, and heard snickers from the other part of the line.
“he’s behaving, isn’t he?” morgan inquired and spencer frowned.
“what?! what do you mean behave?” you shushed him.
“he’s not being so bad… usual reid.” morgan laughed. “any news on the unsub?”
“actually, yeah.” jj said. “we caught him lurking on the beach you guys visited, but he was far from our reach. seemed pretty angry.”
“so he’s getting closer…” you nodded.
“he seemed to buy into the lie of the relationship.” spencer hummed and you nodded.
“you guys need to keep it up. if our profile is right he will not stand still and watch, he’ll confront the two of you soon.” hotch said.
“alright. we will.” you promised.
“we’ll keep in touch.” emily said before the line went dead and the two of you looked at each other.
“what should we do now?” he inquired.
“go to the pool.” you smiled and he groaned. “come on. he needs to see us.” you said while getting a bikini and entering the bathroom to get changed. once done you got out and found him with a pair of red trunks. “now that’s the spirit.” you smiled and he rolled his eyes. “come on, reid. the sun is up and shining for us. time to sunbathe!” he took some of his books and his sunglasses, following after you out of your room and though the hallways of the hotel until you two were met by happy squealing and laughter from the children enjoying their time in the pool, splashing each other.
you two took a sun lounge each, his umbrella staying open while yours stood shut as you applied tanning oil to your skin after getting rid of your shorts. spencer kept his summer sheer shirt, laying sat up straight in the sun lounge as he quickly went through the pages, reading 20.000 words per minute. you laid on your own, bathing in the warmth of the sun as it prickled your skin.
you were enjoying the tranquility until some shadows took over your sun. you peeked your eyes open to see three girls standing over the two of you, sweet smiles on their faces as they stared at your right. more like… at spencer.
“hey.” one of them caught his attention, and his hazel eyes pulled away from his book towards the blonde.
“what are you reading?” a brunette asked him next, and he stuttered just the slightest before answering.
“uhmm… anna karenina. it’s from leo tolstoy from 1878. it deals with themes of betrayal, faith, family, marriage, imperial russia, society, desire, and the differences between rural and urban life. it’s actually my second time reading it. this time in the original russian.” he spat out, babbling as the three girls listening. more like ate him up with their eyes.
“you’re cute.” the third and last girl, another blonde smiled, and spencer’s eyes widened.
“could i get your number?” the brunette inquired him and you sat up straight, slightly clearing your throat, what made them look at you. “and you are…?”
you smiled. “his girlfriend.” spencer looked at you scandalized, what almost made you laugh. “i mean i get you guys…” you said with a smirk, leaning over him, your chest pressing against his as your arms circled his neck. his breath hitched as you hummed, looking at him before looking back at the three girls that now stunned looked at you. “he’s just too cute, isn’t he?” you took his face with one of your hands, making his lips pout out. he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and widened eyes. you smiled at him, his cheeks flushing at your words and the way your body just pushed closer against his. “but he’s mine.” you crooked your head towards the girls. “so if you don’t mind…”
“actually i do mind.” the brunette said. and your eyebrows rose. “i don’t see your name branded on him.” you slowly pulled away from spencer, getting on your feet.
you smiled softly at her. spencer didn’t like it one bit. you never smiled. not like that. “what’s your name?”
“ashley.” she answered, and you saw spencer getting up get beside your from the side of your eyes as you gave her a once over, your eyes landing on her pool heels. he was cautious, he knew something was wrong. sweet intelligent spencer…
“i like your shoes.” you started, simple, and she looked confused at you. “you gonna… be able to run in those?” you inquired.
“what?” and before she knew what was happening you were launching yourself towards her. good timing spencer was fast enough to catch you in between his arms as her friends pulled her away, running from you with ‘let’s go!’s.
“yeah, that’s more like it. see you, ashley!!!” you said while fighting spencer’s tight hold on you. “bitch…” you murmured when they got lost into the hotel. he let you go when you had seemingly calmed down and stared at you.
“what was that?”
“what? she was being a bitch.” you shrugged and got back to your sun lounge.
“no. i mean. what was that?”
“reid. i’m supposed to be your girlfriend… don’t you think that’s how a girlfriend would act?” you inquired him, and he looked around, scratching his nape.
“i mean, yeah but…” you cut him off.
“then it’s settled.” you said before closing your eyes and getting back with your sun.
he stared at you, still in shock and with flushed cheeks. his mind got filled with images and moments from the last days; you in the pool the night you’d thrown him in, how you had teased him, how your lips had almost touched his, last night at the beach when you had fallen on top of him… and now… seeing you that way, had done… things to him. things he didn’t want to accept. his whole body was tense, his heart was stuttering, his eyes whole face was red, and his stomach was feeling bubbly and… well. okay. no. enough.
he cleared his throat and sat down beside you, retrieving his book, trying to dismiss the knot in his throat. he looked at you. at your slowly tanning skin, the shine it had due to the oil you had bathed yourself in, your beautiful curves accentuated by the white bikini you’d gone for today, your soft features, your long lashes, your plump lips, your soft jaw, the soft skin of your neck, your…
when his eyes dropped too low he looked away, clearing his throat.
he tried to go back to the russian, but he was flustered. after minutes of trying to get back in focus, he gave up, getting up and pulling his shirt off, what caught your attention.
“where are you going?” you inquired.
“i was gonna go for a swim.” he pointed to the pool, and you sprung up.
“i’ll join you.” you smiled, and his heart stuttered at the recurring memories of that night in the pool. let it go, spencer.
following him into the water, you sigh at the fresh feeling of it engulfing you and making your overheated skin find solace.
spencer dampens his hair, pushing it backwards in a slick manner that exposes his strong cheek bones. but it’s when you finally stop staring at him that you notice it.
his breath hitched when your arms surrounded his neck, pulling him closer, your chest pressed against his as you spun in the water.
“what are you doing?” he inquired you, his hands subconsciously grabbing your hips. to push you away? to pull you closer? who knew…
“your twelve o’ clock. i think it’s our guy.” you muttered in his ear swiftly, smiling at him as if you were absolutely smitten, playing with his hair. spencer looked just for a moment. it was a white male, in his late thirties, wearing glasses and a cap, staring straight at the two of you with clenched fists.
“he surely doesn’t look happy.” he muttered to you, pulling you closer. “looks like it might be him.” you hummed. “what should we do?”
“well you should definitely act like you love me.” you smiled, cupping his cheek. “like this…” you looked straight into his eyes, and his breath hitched. if he didn’t knew better you’d have fooled him, ‘cause you were looking at him as if you craved nothing else, no one else but him.
you almost chocked when one of his hands found your hair, his breath pressing against your neck just before his lips did. “does this work?” he inquired you, pressing another chaste kiss on the sensitive skin.
you had to come and get back your trail of thought, ‘cause he had stolen it away just that easy. it was unnerving.
“you tell me. you’re the one facing him.” you whispered, and he hummed against your skin. you had to pretend as if it y didn’t send shivers down your spine.
“he’s just staring.” he stated.
“he wouldn’t dare do something with this much people around.” you figured.
“or maybe he just doesn’t want to taint his image before you. he wants to meet you in the perfect way, perfect place, perfect time.”
“what a romantic…” you rolled your eyes.
“he’s moving.” spencer announced.
“leaving?” you inquired and he nodded, his soft stubble scratching your neck and making you shudder in his arms.
“seems like it.” once out of sight he let you go, and you looked away from his eyes, the imprint of his hold on your hips still lingering on your skin, his kisses still burning your neck.
“he won’t be able to hold on for much longer...”
you nodded, fidgeting. “i’ll… i’ll go tell the team.”
“yeah. okay.” spencer copies your shake of head, and you got out of the pool, his eyes training on your back and down your body before he caught himself staring, quickly looking away and pushing his hair back anxiously. he could still feel the softness of your skin, smell the coconut tanning oil you’d lathered yourself in, remember how right you’d feel in between his arms, taking whatever he gave you…
he sighed. get it together reid.
but he had to spend a while in the water to properly calm down before making his way back to you. this was gonna end badly.
-
dinner with spencer was easy. it was a warm night. and he looked good. with a blue button up shirt and white pants along with his brown shoes. it was easy to talk to him, even easier to let him pay and let him walk you by his hand through the hotel and into the gardens of it. it was so easy to live this lovers lie that it terrified you. the moon and stars were shining bright above your heads, and the silence that filled the distance in between the two of you was as comfortable as it could get.
that was until he was breaking it to stutter about theories of the universe. theories you already knew. but for once you decided to keep quiet and listen to his rambling, enjoying the way his eyes sparkled with knowledge, the way his lips curled into a smile with every little fact that spilled from them…your heart was hammering inside your chest. it has been since the time in the pool. you were scared he could feel your heartbeat by how tight he was holding your hand. you’d come to understand that he wasn’t that bad. sure, he sometimes could get under your skin and make you lose your temper, but spencer reid could be as soft as a feather when he wanted to, and that made it all even worse. you were used to his narcissism, to his hatred, not to his ‘love’. was this how he really was or just another lie? just another façade? you were haunted by the feelings that this side of him flourished in your body.
“there’s someone following you.” since the spotting in the pool, the team had made sure to give you an earpiece each to communicate with you in case of emergency. jj’s voice made spencer’s waver, but to play along he just pulled you closer and continued with his theories. “seems like the man you told us about, y/n.”
you two slowly stopped walking, looking at each other as he kept talking, waiting for orders.
“he stopped. he’s just… watching.” emily announced and you inquired spencer and the team.
“what should we do? he’s not gonna come to us that easily…”
“reid, kiss her.” hotch ordered and his eyes widened, breath hitching and his hold on your hand hardening.
“what? no! i’m not going to kiss her!” he whispered-yelled, completely astonished.
“the physical contact will drive him to approach you both. we’ll be right there.” morgan chirped in, trying to convince his friend, soothe his anxiety. but spencer wasn’t scared of the unsub. he was scared of you. terrified. terrified by how good it felt to have you this close, to hold your hand, to see your smile, to share time with you… he wondered if this last thing would make him crack. would make him understand that it wasn’t hatred all along. he wasn’t sure he was ready to know the truth.
“there must be another way, i-“ he tried, but you groaned at his hesitation, taking the matter into your own hands.
“for the love of god, reid.” you grabbed at his curly hair, and in a tug, you pulled him down against your mouth. he froze at first, surprised, in shock at the soft feeling of your lips against his, at the feeling of your chest tightly pressed against him. but then it all completely changes, he can’t get enough. he cupped yor face in between his warm hands and pulled you closer, until there was no space between you two, something he must hate, but only finds himself enjoying. you gasp into his mouth and he takes the opportunity to push his tongue inside, pushing you against the wall of the hotel, devouring you as if he had been waiting years for this moment. you were air. and he was drowning.
“slow down…” you breathily moan against his lips, and he groans.
“i can’t.” he confessed.
the kiss that follows is just as desperate and harsh, your tongues dancing around the other as he kisses you like you’re everything he’s ever craved. you feel him press against you, and the feeling of a bulge on his crotch surprises you.
“you seem to be enjoying this a little bit too much, reid.” you said with a smirk as you felt his growing erection pushing against your thigh to find solace, some friction, anything to make him feel better. he’s losing control, he knows. but he looks into your dazed eyes and he knows you are falling just as hard. he hopes the fall doesn’t hurt as bad as his heart right now.
“i hate you.” he muttered against your lips.
“say it like you mean it.” and before he could kiss you again, the sound of a gun being loaded sounded.
“get away from her.” a male voice filled your ears and spencer stepped away from you, leaving you cold, confused and in need of more you thought you’d never crave. “get away!” he repeated pointing at him with the gun.
“okay, okay… calm down…” he softly said, taking a couple of steps away from you.
“how do you dare touch her?!” he screamed. he seemed scattered. “nobody should touch her. she’s mine!”
“no, she’s not.” spencer said just as morgan knocked the unsub to the ground, a shot being fired, the bulled burying itself inches away from you on the wall. he was quick to reach out for you as you looked down at yourself. “are you okay?” he inquired, taking your face, inspecting it.
“don’t touch her!” the man screamed again as you nodded.
“easy!” morgan yelled as he cuffed him up.
“yeah… i’m alright.” you muttered and spencer nodded, looking right into your eyes. you could still see his flushed cheeks, and his swollen wet lips, could see traces of you left behind. you wanted to taste him again. and again. and again. until the only thing you could remember was him and his lips, and the feeling of his body pressing against you.
that night. something changes. and it scares not only your bones, but your soul as well.
-
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ssapphic · 8 months ago
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naughty.
[caitlin clark & paige bueckers x reader]
18+
“get off my cock” caitlin growls in a low tone. her fingertips dig into the skin of your hips, throwing you to the side of her.
you’ve been riding her for what’s felt like hours, her veiny hands glued to your ass, slamming you down on her thick silicone strap. every time you’ve come close to finishing, caitlin taunts you. she’ll still herself inside of you, staring up at you with those evil dark eyes. “what?” she smirks, you’re completely fucked out — and desperate for relief.
the tall blonde at the end of the bed sits up, “my turn, c?” awaiting the nod of approval from the brunette dom, paige’s piercing hazel eyes trail your body, hungry for the sweet milky seepage dripping out of your used hole.
“all yours” caitlin peers at paige as she watches from the other side of the bed, stroking her plastic dick. paige kisses your knees, sliding her lips down to your inner thigh.
paige is so soft, and sweet. the polar opposite of your other 6 foot girlfriend. caitlin is dirty, rough, relentless. especially after a loss or a hard practice, she’s coming home and absolutely ruining you. even if she’s in a good mood, she pounds into you until you’re drooling and crying.
your legs are trembling. paige’s tongue is your favorite way to cum. her kitten licks, the way her long fingers dip inside of you as your clit is submerged in her mouth. she’s a talker too, even with a face full of pussy. “mmm- you like that baby?” her once gentle gaze now dark and eager. you feel your tummy start to swarm with that warm feeling, and paige feels it too. your toes are curling, your eyes are squeezed shut, the pressure in your abdomen caused by the brunette is finally coming to a sweet release — until it’s not.
caitlin’s strong grip on your jaw snaps you out of your blissed out state. “wh-wha-” you mumble out, confused and needy, another orgasm denied. you look at paige, who is now buckling the strap to her waist.
“d’aww, you’d really think i’d let her finish what i started?” her voice is silky and smug.
before you can process what’s going on, caitlin’s on top of you, her knee pressed firm against your puffy bundle of nerves. her slender fingers slide to the back of your throat, “tell me what you want, and if i can’t understand you, you’re not gettin’ it.” you whine from beneath her, trying so hard to choke out your words.
“c’mon baby, speak. or else”
♡ authors note - first post yay :3 this is so self indulgent but idc. i was literally in the shower n couldn’t stop thinking abt this >_< if ur also in love with two basketball mascs, this is 4 u ♡ also i’m down to make a part 2 of this, just wanna see if it does well first hehe ♡
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unhingedgirlythings · 8 months ago
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FUCK IT
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SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.
Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life
A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.
——————///—————///--——————///——————
You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!
You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.
Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.
Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.
His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.
Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”
you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.
wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.
“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”
“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses
The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.
The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.
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baocean · 9 days ago
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flirt - rafe cameron
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nice!rafe x reader college au warnings - smut, swearing, drinking summary - when rafe cameron finally takes an interest in you, you think its just another one of his one night stands
get comfy, grab a snack, because baby its longgger. i spent all day on this :) (hahaha ha ha h a) anyways, i wanted a nice, possibly even goofy rafe instead of him being batshit crazy all the time. so please forgive the personality change, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programs soon.
��
when rafe cameron entered the room, everyone swooned. the football star of unc chapel hill, the hottest guy on campus, the flirt. everyone would gladly drop to their knees for him, except you.
it was like something was wrong with you. because you absolutely did not understand what everyone was always going on about over him.
sure, he was tall and handsome. he was good at football. but he seemed like a complete jerk.
you were a sophomore at unc, rafe was a junior. you’d become very familiar with the horror stories of being around and getting with rafe cameron.
he fucks girls then leaves them on read, picks fights for no reason, drinks way too much, and has a god awful ego.
you just did not get it.
at the party, in some worn out, dirty frat, you stood with your friends in a corner, people watching and giggling.
it had been a fun night so far, meeting new people and having a few too many shots.
but when rafe cameron and his friends walked into the room, everyone’s attention was on him.
you saw him, and wanted to scream ‘boooo’. rolling your eyes, you walked away from your enchanted friends towards the makeshift bar.
a drunk frat brother poured you another drink as your phone dinged. you went to check it, and when you looked back up, there he was, in all his materialistic glory.
“hey angel.” rafe lifted the corner of his lip, handing you the cup the brother just filled.
“thank you.” you smiled for only a second, hopefully fast enough he didn’t even see it, then started to walk away.
“hey, wait!” rafe called behind you, useless. you took a guess that tonight, it was your turn to be the special girl in rafe cameron’s life. you didn’t want that title.
your friends stared in bewilderment as rafe cameron stalks behind you, and pulls on your arm ever so gently to get you to turn around.
“what’s your name?” he asks, his face blank of any little smirk he had before.
“depends on who’s asking.” you shrug, taking a small sip of the juice from your cup. it was strong.
“me.” he clarified, a look on his face telling you should have already known that.
“oh. then, no.” you give him a sweet smile. he scoffs, shaking his head.
“and if it’s for my homeboy over there?” his long finger sticks out and points towards one of his friends, one you’d seen on campus before, but couldn’t put a name to his face.
“oh, if it’s for him, get him to come over here and i’ll tell him myself.”
“what’s your problem with me?” rafe’s face scrunched up, crossing his arms over his chest.
“i don’t have a problem, im just not interested.” you give him one last sickly sweet smile, before returning to the group of friends, patiently waiting to interrogate you.
it had only been a few days since your’s and rafe’s interaction. you hadn’t thought about it much, after getting home to your apartment and debriefing your friends, it had slipped out of your mind completely.
that was, until, you saw him walk into the coffee shop you were studying at.
immediately, you ducked your head, hoping not to get spotted.
he went up to the counter and ordered, fiddling with a straw in his hands, back turned to you.
you thought maybe he had missed you, so with a sigh of relief, you went back to your schoolwork.
“hi, angel.” you cringed at the voice. looking up, there he was.
he was wearing a bandana, tied around his head, some old carhart jacket. he had good style, you’ll give him that.
“oh, hey.” you tried your best to not sound so sincere.
“how’ve you been?” he asked, inviting himself to take a seat across from you.
“great. how about you?” his smile lit up his face, thinking he was finally getting somewhere with you.
he went to answer, when you cut him off, “i’m so sorry, i don’t know your name?” it came out more of a question, a dare.
his smile faltered for a second, and you took that as a win, before he stuck his hand out in between you two.
“i’m rafe cameron.” despite protests, you took his hand in yours to shake it, ignoring how much of a difference in size there was.
he raised his eyebrows, “your turn.”
“still not interested. lovely to see you, though.” you let go of his hand, putting your focus back into your schoolwork.
he scoffed, stood over you for a second, appearing to be looking at something on the table in front of you.
he chuckled, low, then bent down a bit. “i’ll see you later, yn.”
he picked up his coffee and walked out the door without a second glance. alarm bells were going off in your head. how could he possibly know your name?
you grabbed your cup to take a sip, and realization hit you like a brick. on the side of the plastic, your name was written in simple black sharpie.
recently, practice hadn’t been fun. especially since rafe realized the football team practices right next to the women’s soccer team. and also, since rafe found out you were on the women’s soccer team.
he’d made every effort to get your attention, calling your name and throwing footballs towards the soccer pitch, more or less annoying you. your teammates would squeal and giggle, and you groaned.
coach called practice, and as you were packing up your gear and getting ready to make the trek back to your locker rooms, you heard the distinctive voice from behind you.
“angel, how was practice?” you turned, seeing rafe, sweaty and red.
you probably looked the same at him. you’d been running on and off for two and a half hours today, you probably did not look your best. rafe would have disagreed.
“fine, thanks.” you wiped your face with a towel, taking your cleats off and finding your shoes.
“you know, when your face is all red like that, it makes me wonder what you look like when you’re getting f-” you hit rafe on the chest with the back of your hand.
“you’re appalling. does that line ever work on anyone?” you were completely disgusted by him right now, even if the thought did draw a little curiosity from you.
“sometimes. let me take you out on a date.” un phased, rafe cameron persists.
“why would i ever say yes after the comment you just made?” you laugh in his face, earning a shit eating grin from him.
“give me one chance. i don’t know what you think about me, but give me a chance to prove im not whatever it is.”
“no.”
“please, angel.” the way his voice upped an octave erupted thoughts, lot and lots of thoughts.
so, you’d finally give him a little bait to chew on for a while. “i'll think about it.”
with that, you left him standing by the benches. you rolled your eyes at the boy, but couldn’t help but smile.
three hours later you had a follow and dm from rafe cameron.
rafecam: have you thought about our date yet?
yourusername: no, not really
rafecam: come on angel
rafecam: one date is all i’m asking
yourusername: that’s all it’ll be since you’ll ghost me afterwards! it’s perfect!
rafecam: ohhh so that’s what you think
yourusername: the answer is no
rafecam: i’m not taking that for an answer
rafecam: it’s yes or yes
rafecam: i’ll be the perfect gentleman
rafecam: im the man of your dreams come onnnn
yourusername: you’re funny
rafecam: so does tuesday night sound good?
read
yourusername started following you!
deciding on something nice, but not too nice, you took your hair out of the rollers and sighed.
it’s your date with rafe tonight. you were feeling a lot of emotions.
you’d gone through rafe’s instagram the night he dmed you, had followed him back. there was even some 'get to know you' conversations somewhere in between.
pictures of his parents and sisters, his friends, pictures of them on a beach, all smiling. no pictures of him out at a party, or arms slung around girls. there was an image to maintain, though. the quarterback at unc, with forty thousand followers, of course he wasn’t going to post that.
you rolled your eyes and jumped up to show your roommate the black silk dress you were wearing for the dinner date at the fancy restaurant in town. anna was funny, bowing down in front of you like you were some god.
the doorbell to the apartment rang and your eyebrows furrowed. you thought, ‘no way he’d find a way to get up here, no way he’d find your apartment, no way he’d willingly come up here and ring my doorbell’.
but there he was, on the other side of the door, holding a small bouquet of your favorite flowers. your jaw almost dropped.
he was dressed nicely, a smile painted on his tanned features.
“how did you know where i live. and how do you know about the flowers?” you invited him in, giving him a undoubtedly suspicious look.
“don’t worry, angel. i have my ways,” he smirked, looking at your roommate. “hey anna.”
“oh, okay. got it. got it, thanks anna.” you shake your head, grinning as you put your head in your hands.
“we’ll put these in water then head out, yea?” rafe grabbed the scissors while you grabbed a vase to fill up with water, moving in perfect harmony.
the dinner went well, surprising you. he was a gentleman, like he had promised.
and as much as you hated yourself for it, you swooned, just like that.
his smile, and his jokes, and the lack of inappropriate ones. you thought maybe the bar was on the floor, right now you didn’t care. you could only thing about maybe, you could have been wrong about him.
he’d walked you back up to your apartment on the second floor, carrying his jacket and your heels over his shoulder as you walked together.
when you got to your door, it was unlocked, thank goodness, because you forgot your keys.
“these are yours. angel, i had a really good time. promise you’ll text me in the morning?” rafe asked as he held out your heels, a true, genuine look in his eye signaling he meant it.
you shrugged, love drunk, and pulled his arm so he fell inside with you. “we’ll see.”
he dropped the jacket and heels on one hump on the floor, grabbing around your waist and pulling you in.
the kiss was so desperate and rushed, but still gentle. one of his arms wrapped around your waist as you clung to his neck.
pulling apart, you grabbed his chin and lifted it upwards, placing light kisses on his neck, then sucking. his hands grabbed at your hips.
“you look so good. holy fuck, angel.” he returned the favor, kissing down your neck and shoulder, playing with the strap of your dress with his teeth.
you pulled him towards your room, and at first, he didn’t hesitate.
he faltered once you got to your door, pulling back from you.
“angel, i’ve wanted to fuck you since the moment i saw you, but i want to do this right.”
you were taken aback, not believing the words that were coming out of rafe cameron's mouth. you almost thought he was kidding, letting out a anxious chuckle, met with a confused stare.
"did you just say no to sex?" you questioned. he nodded, looking just as surprised by himself as you were.
he doesn't fucking like me, you thought. how could you be so stupid? of course, of course rafe cameron doesn't want you the same way you want him. do it right? what does that even mean?
and there it was, surprising you again, because since when did you want rafe? have feelings for rafe?
"okay, um well, goodnight, then." you tried, tucking your hair behind your ears and grabbing your heels from the ground.
"okay. goodnight, angel." he took a step forward to try and kiss you, but you crossed your arms over your chest and shook your head.
he faltered, heart shooting out of his chest. the one time he tries to treat a girl right, and he's fucked that up, too. he grabbed his jacket, stood up straight, gave you one last look and closed the door behind him.
rafe: good morning
rafe: do u maybe want to get coffee with me
rafe: or i could get it and bring it to u
read
rafe: helllllloooooo
read
rafe: angel what's goin on
rafe: text me back yn
read
it had been three days since you spoke to rafe. it'd been three weeks since you met him, officially. your emotions had been twisted, confusing. he’d been gone for an away football game. he stopped texting you after that.
you watched the game with your roommate anna, rafe throwing pick after pick, completely off his game. you sighed, hoping that the small flame inside trying to convince you you're the reason he keeps messing up is wrong.
the game ended, they won by one point. the team cheered on the field as number forty six walked off the field, helmet in hand and head hung low.
rafe: can you please talk to me
rafe: i would take you telling me you hate me over this
you: can you come over?
rafe: be there in ten
he was there in seven minutes, actually. looks of hesitation painting his features when you opened the door for him.
"you've been okay? you didn't text me back on wednesday."
"yea, we should talk about that." you nodded. his face slumped, he looked defeated.
"what? what is it, angel?" he took a step towards you.
"listen, i really only said yes to that date so you'd leave me alone," rafe felt a little bit liked he'd been punched. "but that entire date i felt so good, and i was honestly just fine with having one night with you and never speaking to you again. but then you said you didn't want to and whatever you meant by that, i'm not sure, but it, like, threw me off." you rambled, arms crossed over your chest in defense.
"i wasn't gonna have sex with you if it meant i never talked to you again." his blue eyes hidden under thick lashes, unable for you to get a good read on them.
"but rafe, thats like all you're known f-" your hands went up in defeat as you tried to finish your statement.
"was, it was. i wish you'd just talk to me instead, angel. but this-" he waves a finger between you two- "is different. i don't know if its because you give me shit every time i try to flirt with you or that you're just unlike anyone i've ever met, i don't fucking know. but id rather give this an actual try than pretend i could treat you like you didn't mean something more."
speechless, thats what you were. taking two steps forward and pulling him in. he tasted like mint gum, smelled like wood and vanilla. his lips parted, letting you familiarize yourself with his mouth.
he pulled back, "go on another date with me?" you laughed, then nodded, then pulled him back into you.
he pulled back again, "be my girlfriend?"
"you're pushing it, rafe." giving him a peck on the lips.
"well, just using my logic, here. if you're my girlfriend, then that means were giving it a try and we can fuck all we want." he shrugged, a hand finding its way under your t-shirt and onto your hip.
"you sound insane. ask me again later." you whispered into him, pulling him into your room, this time he didn't budge. rafe cameron, in your small, student housing bedroom, pulling your shirt off.
he kissed your neck, bit at the spots he'd sucked, picking you up and rolling onto the bed with you, earning a laugh from you.
you grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it up, rafe helping you out. your hands found their way to his upper arms, he closed his eyes and flexed under your touch, almost unconsciously.
"you look so pretty, angel. always do." he whispered, leaned down to kiss you again. he pulled your thin, loungewear bra to the side, let out a quiet groan, and kissed.
and he would have done anything to hear that small moan from you for the first time again. your hand reaches up to grab his hair as one nipple is in his mouth, the other being rubbed between his fingertips.
"angel, you want this as bad as i do?" he looked up at you, watched you nod, and smiled, kissing down to your naval.
lifting your lips, he slid the shorts off you, then his sweatpants next.
he lined himself up, pushing into you slowly, memorizing the sound of your gasps and moans. surely, this is what heaven felt like. sounded like. "holy fuck."
two strong arms landed on each side of your head as he slid in and out of you.
his words came out all incoherent, with a lot of 'please', 'angel', and 'pretty''s thrown in there.
this wasn't the kind of sex you'd have with rafe, you thought it would be more rough, not sweet and caring.
your eyes closed, his hand flying to your face, gripping your chin. "open your eyes, pretty girl. i wanna see you. wanna see whats mine." you let out a moan, clenching around him, too deep in pleasure to care that rafe knew you liked that.
"say it." rafe moaned, his pace fastening, a steady hand still on your face.
"im yours, rafe." he pulled you up as you gasped for the millionth time. now, riding him, your face was an inch above his, his features looked perfect under the sunlight.
"are you mine?" you got out, in between moans.
"since the first time i ever laid eyes on you. all yours, angel."
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aajjks · 3 months ago
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Pu$$y Drunk (m)
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synopsis. an insatiable pussy hungry Toji Fushiguro.
warnings: 18+ thèmès, èxplïcït cöntènt, smüt, püssy hüngry tójí, bèggïng (yùmmy), ôrál sèx (fèm rècíèvíng), fèràl tójí, nèèdy tôjí, prófáníty, tôngúè fückíng. MDNI
note. Toji makes my brain rot so here we go. if this is shitty to you. I am so sorry but if you like it, oh my God, yay. Oh my God guys enjoy and please follow me hehe, like this and re-blog this because I know some of you need this *wink*
header not mine, cr to owner, I found it on Pinterest!
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“The fuck yn.. please don’t make me fuckin beg, baby.”
He doesn’t really like to beg because he’s always getting used to what he wants, especially from you. He doesn’t mean it in a good way, but you are quite easy.
But he doesn’t blame you because he is irresistible, and really fucking charming and sexy. And he knows that.
“Fuck.. please please I need this..” he says, looking into your eyes as he is parting your legs further apart.
you know that your resistance? it’s useless but it’s just fun to see him like this.
You really like it when he’s desperate like this. He needs to know that you control him. It’s fun to be in control of someone like him.
“eh I’m not interested OK.”
You reply, dryly. Suddenly your nails looks so interesting to you as you stare at your nails, avoiding his eyes because you know that his eyes get you weak.
His eyes are so… sexy.
Everything about him is sexy. “Nooo you don’t understand. I really need this.”
Toji doesn’t stop trying to pry your legs apart, you are no match to him when it comes to strength. But he knows what you want and he’s willing to give it to you.
As long as he gets to eat your pussy.
“Look at me yn! fuck— fuck, look at me baby.” He says, his voice deep and soft. “Please fuckin let me eat your pussy?” He says in a soft tone.
He can be soft if you want.
“Fuck… you know how much I love this pretty pussy of yours, the only thing that gets me goin’ you know it!”
Your heart flutters.
He groans, a smirk takes over his features as he manages to put some distance between your legs.
Oh, he loves your pink panties.
“So fuckin pretty.” He kisses your inner thigh, his skilled fingers grabbing the hem of your panties as he drags it downwards.
“Mhmm smells so good..” Toji sniffs, your resolve has already weakened and now you’re fucking horny
His words are doing things to you, you want to rub your legs together but you can’t. “A-Agh stop talking!” You finally manage to get it out.
But he only continues to kiss your inner thigh, and he slips one of his fingers gently inside your awaiting cunt.
You gasp, he sighs.
“Ohhh so tight already, goodness you’re already wet yn..” he speaks in such a low tone, you can barely hear him, it’s almost like he’s talking to himself… but you’re now to engrossed into the feeling of his finger inside you.
“a-ah..” you let out a sound, so pretty that he adds another one, stretching you out, it feels so fucking good.
“Oh baby.. fuck.” He starts to piston them in and out, you’re soaking, groaning as he teases you.
“Oh fucking stop it and fuck me with your tongue please!” You finally say it, Toji has you exactly where he wants.
He’s won, like always.
Even if it took a little bit of begging.
“Ahh okay okay.. fuck I love you.” He laughs, a breathy chuckle leaves his mouth and soon it’s on your pussy, attacking it with a vigorous passion.
The hunger is so intense as you feel his tongue deep and directly into your pussy, Toji licks, spits and licks again.
He’s just started but he’s so messy, too desperate to care. Your pussy drives him crazy.
His tongue feels so hot, avd wet as he explores your right walls with it, you’re fucking dripping as he eats you out furiously.
“nghhh mhmm ahhgnmmm!!~”
The noises, oh the noises, he’s so vocal, shamelessly so, your moans are uncontrollably loud too. You’re both such a mess.
Your legs begin to shake so you grip on his shoulders, his grip on your hips steadies you, you sigh in relief.
“oh fuck ohh..” you cuss, feeling your own orgasm building up. You instinctively push his head deeper, his mouth is so sloppy yet so skilled.
“ngh- Ahh baby don’t stop mhm..” you breathe out.
“Oh I— ngmmm— won’t.. just cum f’me.” He continues to eat you out, sucking your soul through your pussy so eagerly.
Only Toji can do that.
“A-Aghhh yess I’m- o-oh- I’m gonna cum.” You reply in a cry, your moans keep on rolling out of your agape mouth and his pace fastens, his tongue working extra hard.
And you cum all over his mouth, inside his mouth.
a loud moan of pleasure leaves him as he starts to lap at it.
“nghh such a good fuckin girl- mhm..”
You’re so exhausted, your visions blurry as you recover, try to recover from your orgasm, but when you think he’ll let go, suddenly his grip tightens even more.
“n-not *breathes* enough. Need more… cum for me *breathes* again…”
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froggibus · 4 months ago
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hiiiii :3 idk if ur taking reqs for dc right neow but a thought that tickles my brain rlly good is dick grayson/reader w a praise kink and dick exploits it n uses it to his advantage.... preferably afab reader but gn is fine :P
CTRL + H - Dick Grayson
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Pairing: Dick Grayson x fem! best friend! reader (uses fem pronouns + has a pussy)
Genre: smut/NSFW
Word Count: 4.1k
Summary: when your best friend discovers porn in your browser history while fixing your computer, he decides to use it to his advantage
CW: friends to lovers, lots of praise, uses of ‘good/pretty/lovely girl’ dick calls you sweetheart/angel, dick is CORNY I’m sorry, mentions of porn/asmr porn, teasing, gaslighting (but not really), fingering, marking, unprotected sex, lots of sweat (its sexy i swear), dick fucks you over a desk, kinda rough sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, implied to be summer, i think thats it??
hey hi 👽 anon, thanks for the request! im sorry it took so long, it wasn't meant to be this long i swear, i just got caught up in the thought of Dick being all hot and sweaty and praising you while fucking you >~< and yeah this happened. really hope you like it (but if you don't, let me know and ill totally rewrite it!) lots of love yes i took an extra 30 mins to find nightwing #83 to take a picture of the comic book to make this banner lol
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As if having Dick Grayson look at your search history wasn’t bad enough, now you have to live with the mortifying ordeal of him knowing you have a praise kink.  
When you had first invited him over to take a look at your malfunctioning computer, you’d thought nothing of it. You figured he would turn it on and off again, maybe update some drivers. So when he suddenly clicked into your browser and began scrolling through the long, long list of websites you’ve visited, you weren’t sure how to react. 
You noticed it at the same time as him, the glowing screen forcing you to freeze where you stand. There on the screen, from just last night, read: praise nsfw asmr. You swallow hard and lunge for the mouse to click out of your browser history, but breathe a sigh of relief when Dick does it first. 
There’s a beat of silence, your racing thoughts deafeningly loud as you try to come up with a reason to kick him out. Fanning your face as if that will help chase away the heat of the day, you swallow once more in an attempt to work some moisture back into your mouth. 
“F—find anything?” You say as casually as you can. 
It’s ridiculous how embarrassed you are, honestly. He’s just your friend, it’s just porn, it’s not like it’s the end of the world. Still, the rattling of your heart against your rib cage and his cruelly quiet silence make it feel like it is. 
He shakes his head. “Not so far, I should keep looking but—“ he flicks his eyes up your body, perfect blues tracing your every curve, “you seemed flustered.”
You raise your hands in denial all too quickly, your sweaty palms stretched out towards him. Dick raises an eyebrow, examining you in the way he does with strangers in coffee shops. 
“I just…don’t see how my search history is relevant, I guess. That’s all.”
He grabs your wrists, lowering your arms from the defensive position they’ve taken. Despite the familiarity of his touch, something feels off, different in a way you can’t explain. You shake the thought away. 
The world has not shifted on its axis because your best friend suddenly knows what kind of porn you’re into. 
His touch lingers on your wrist and he uses the leverage to gently pull you closer to where he sits at your desk. When he finally drops your wrist, a chill circles the space where his hand once was, refreshing your feverish skin.
“I just want to make sure you haven’t accidentally picked up a virus somewhere. If we can find one in your history, it’ll be much easier to get rid of it.”
The explanation only half seeps into the mush your brain has turned into under his gaze and you find yourself nodding without quite understanding. 
You were fooling yourself by inviting him here. While asking for his help was cheaper than hiring a professional, having him so close to you almost hurts—especially when lately you’ve been trying to force away the feelings you’ve harboured for him. 
“So,” Dick says again, “won’t you be a good girl and let me fix your computer for you?”
His words force you out of your thoughts, purely by short circuiting your brain. You blink at him with wide eyes, your heart pounding in your chest. 
“W—what did you say?”
“I just asked if I could fix your computer now.” 
You tilt your head in confusion. Did you mishear him, or did he call you ‘good girl’? He flashes you that signature smirk of his, his blue eyes suddenly dark with something you don’t recognize. 
Though everything on his face reads innocent, something not-so innocent lurks beneath the surface. Something that stares you down and screams ‘challenge me’. 
“Yeah.” You swallow. “I guess that’s fine.” You take a deep breath and try to steady the spinning in your head. 
Dick continues his work nonchalantly, hitting a few keys and opening your browser history once more. You turn your eyes away from the screen, instead focusing on the way your fingers grasp the desk until it hurts. 
You listen to him scroll for a while and try to pretend like he’s not looking through the most intimate part of your life. The idea of him seeing that part of you excites you as much as it nauseates you—a lethal combination. 
“You can relax.” Dick hums. 
You lift your head to look at him just to see him focused completely on the screen. You don’t dare glance at what he’s so focused on. 
“Why not sit down? This could take a while.” He says calmly. “I’m sure you’ll feel much better if you do.” 
You roll your shoulders. “I think I’ll just stand.”
There’s a shift in his eyes as if your words sparked something in them. He finally glances away from your screen, completely focusing on you with a newfound intensity. You want to shrink from his gaze, to run down the hall and hide in your broom closet, but you stay rooted in place. 
“It would help me a lot if you sit down. Don’t you want to be a good girl and help me out?” 
Holy fuck. “What did you just say?”
It feels like you’re waiting an eternity for him to speak again, your heart beating a mile a minute. He’s going to deny it, or make fun of you even more or worse—tell Wally about it. 
He pats his lap. “Come sit with me,” he purrs, “be a good girl, keep me company while I work.”
In your shock, you find yourself shuffling towards him and settling in his lap. Dick helps you adjust, tugging you back to his chest and keeping one arm around you while his other reaches for the mouse once more. 
He’s so close to you that you can feel the beating of his heart, his breath on your neck. You close your eyes and pray that he can’t feel the heartbeat that’s suddenly appeared between your legs.
You can’t remember a single time he’s been this close to you, a single time he’s touched you like this. The sudden proximity makes you dizzy, butterflies taking flight in your tummy. You clench the arm rests on either side in an attempt to keep your cool.
Dick shifts behind you, one of his thighs gently brushing your clit in a way that makes you squirm. “Don’t do that!” 
His hand slides from your waist to grip your thigh, a shiver running up your spine at the contact. “Don't do what? This?” He repeats the motion.
You squeak, lurching forward in an attempt to get away from the friction. You tilt too far and suddenly you’re falling head over heels towards the mat beneath your chair. Dick is quicker than that, wrapping one arm around your chest and another around your waist to tug you harshly back to him.
“Don’t do that,” you repeat breathlessly, “please.”
He rests his chin on your shoulder, soft strands of black hair tickling your cheek. “Why not? Use your words, angel.”
The nickname reignites something inside of you, rekindling a fire between your legs. You clench them together in the hopes it will do something to muffle the throbbing, but when you feel Dick smirk against the side of your neck, you know you’ve failed.
When you don’t answer him, he grins his knee between your legs once more, an innocent hum prompting you.
“You’re—fuck, you’re kneeing me in the cunt.”
Dick’s not sure if it’s from your brazen words or how entirely ridiculous this whole afternoon has been, but suddenly he’s laughing. A big, open mouthed, creasing at the corners of his eyes, laugh. 
His laugh surprises you enough to summon one of your own, sending you both into a fit. You shift on his lap to look at him, wrapping your arms around his neck to support yourself while the two of you laugh. It’s stupid and ridiculous and you’re not quite sure what you’re laughing at—just that you are. 
You’re laughing and laughing and suddenly his lips are on yours and his eyes are closed and—fuck, he’s kissing you. And then you’re not laughing anymore, your hands brushing up his neck and tangling in his hair. He’s not laughing anymore either, his hands gripping your waist like he expects you to leave at any moment.
You’re breathless when you pull away, refusing to open your eyes and face the reality in front of you. Because maybe the world didn’t shift on its axis when he learned your porn preferences, but it definitely has because he just kissed you.
He taps your cheek gently, using that terribly calm voice he does whenever you start spiralling. “Y/n.” He coos, “open your eyes, y/n.”
You bite your lip, shaking your head in refusal. You know as soon as you do, you’ll have to confront your feelings for him, and his for you, and all of that is just too much and god, when did it get so hot in here? 
You open your eyes one at a time, casting them down to where your thighs rest on his. Your hands come together, fingers twirling in your lap just to give you something to focus on other than the throbbing in your clit and the weight of Dick’s eyes on you.
He drags a finger down your overheating cheeks, tracing the outline of your jaw and tipping your head up to face him. His blue eyes are lined with something new, something darker—a need you’ve never seen before. 
“Look at me.” There’s a commanding tone to his voice before it softens, “c’mon, please?”
You finally force yourself to meet his eyes, the familiar ultramarine calming the sudden bite of your nerves. “Only cause you asked so nicely,” you say quietly. 
“Good girl,” he smiles and it feels like the sun pushing through rain clouds. He strokes your cheek gently, his thumb landing on your cupid's bow. 
You shiver beneath his touch despite the unbearable heat of the day. While his finger on your lips threatens to send you flying away, spiralling into space, his other does the opposite. His grip on your hip is tight, fingers digging in and sure to leave behind bruises. 
“Can I kiss you again?” He asks quietly. 
It’s only a small mercy that your nod doesn’t prompt another ‘good girl’ from him, or some other horribly delightful variation of it. However, when his lips brush yours and his hand slides to the base of your throat, all of the thoughts melt away. There’s no embarrassment, no overthinking, just raw emotion and the sensation of his skin on yours. 
You shift in his lap, sliding one of your thighs over his so you can straddle him. Dick offers a guiding hand while you slide forward, half steadying you, half tugging you closer. You shimmy up the length of his jeans until you’re as close as possible, your stomach pressing into his toned abs. 
A gasp leaves your throat when your clit brushes the very edge of the bulge in his jeans, the noise only edging him along. His teeth graze your bottom lip, both gentle and desperate, before his tongue slips into your mouth. 
The taste of him is intoxicating, consuming you until you’re grabbing his cheeks with both hands to pull him as close as possible. You whine when his cock grazes your clit again and Dick breaks the kiss to let out a breathy laugh against your lips. 
“Someone’s needy,” he teases, but his eyes are rimmed with dark and when he looks at you through his lashes, all you see is need. 
“Back at you.”
His palm sticks to your cheek with sweat when he goes to pull it away. “You’ve been so good for me today,” he hums, his other hand trailing up your thigh. “Let me take care of you, yeah?”
You mumble a breathy ‘please’ before his fingers are brushing your clit through your pants, the heat pooling in your panties near insatiable. You tighten your grip on him and bury your face in the tight black fabric of his t-shirt to muffle your heavy breathing.
While one hand rubs intense figure eights up the length of your pussy, his other hand is fiddling with the buttons of your pants. He sighs in triumph at the soft popping noise and then the fabric is pulling away from your skin, Dick somehow managing to tug them down with only one hand. 
You shift in his lap and prop yourself up on your knees to give him better access while he drags the fabric down your thighs. He takes advantage of your position to spin you to face your monitor once more, leaning back in the chair so you’re reclined against his muscled chest.
Warm breath fans the overheating skin of your neck just where your shirt meets your skin. Two calloused fingers dip into the waistband of your underwear, skimming the warmth and slick of your cunt. Dick sucks in a breath, his pants suddenly too tight.
“You really are needy,” he swallows hard. “Lovely, needy girl.”
His words only serve as a catalyst to the intense need you feel in your core, amplifying your desire tenfold. The pad of his index finger brushes your clit and you’re suddenly a goner. Your eyes squeeze shut and you throw your head back, imagining the circles of Dick’s fingers in your mind.
He gently kisses at the neckline of your shirt, his lips soft against the sensitive skin. His tongue runs across the sensitive skin there in tandem with the moving of his hand, the duality sending shockwaves through you. You have to bite your lip to keep from crying out his name.
His wrist slides further into your underwear, fingers moving away from your swollen clit to run along the rim of your aching pussy. You suck in a breath, not moving an inch while you anticipate what’s to come.
Dick sucks a dark mark into your neck. “Ready f’me?” He mumbles into your skin.
You eagerly nod, trying to shift your hips into his fingers and shove them inside of you, but Dick moves away. You frown, lazily looking over your shoulder at him.
“You have to use your words.”
You almost roll your eyes but in your desperation, let your head hang in defeat and open your trembling mouth. “I-I’m ready Dick,” you say, quietly adding, “please.”
“Good girl.” 
Then he’s suddenly slipping a finger inside of you, travelling the length of your spongy walls to sit deep inside of you. A gasp rips through you, his name tumbling off your lips faster than you can catch it. He grips your hip to steady you, strong fingers bruising the exposed skin.
He curls his finger inside of you, prodding at that sweet fucking sensitive spot. He only stops when you whine, slipping his finger out for only a second before shoving it back in. He repeats the motion, starting a rhythm of thrusting in and out, his hand on your hip tapping along in tandem.
You squirm in his lap, that ball in the centre of your stomach turning white hot and growing until you can barely contain it. One of your hands squeezes his wrist—whether to stop or encourage him, you don’t know.
“Dick,” you whine, your voice taking on a raspy tone you hardly recognize.
He hums in response. “Does that feel good?”
“S-so good.”
He rewards you by slipping his other finger inside of you, the two of them working in unison. His fingers are so long and thick that they reach places inside you that you’ve never been able to touch on your own, stretching your walls just enough to make your eyes roll back.
The impending waves of your orgasm roll over you, that knot in your core so tight that you know it's bound to undo any second. You squeeze his wrist tighter in warning, your fingers pressing into his veins until you can feel the steady thrum of his blood pulsing. 
Dick slips his hand from your waist up your shirt, palming your tit. “Cum for me,” he murmurs. “You’ve earned it, sweetheart.”
His words walk you right over the edge, that knot finally coming undone and sending wave after wave of molten pleasure through you. Every muscle in your body contracts, your pussy squeezing his fingers so tightly it almost hurts. Both your hands clench around the wrist currently in your underwear. Holding him steady while you ride out your high on his fingers.
Dick holds you, keeping you stable while you gush and thrash wildly in his lap. He can feel your slick soak through the fabric of his jeans, his thighs warm with your juices, but he can’t bring himself to care. 
He trails kisses up your neck to your jaw, your cheeks and finally, tips your head back until he can plant soft, chaste kisses to your lips. His wrist aches from how hard you squeeze him but he doesn’t dare pull away until your muscles are relaxing and you let out your first, panting breath.
“Feel good?” He prompts.
You shake your head vigorously, all sweaty hair and hot skin and aching lungs. Dick almost wishes he had a camera because the sight of you laying in his lap all fucked out is one he would love to savor and put in his wallet.
He shifts behind you, only now remembering his aching cock and how badly it yearns to be free of the denim confining it. “Think you could do one more? For me? It would make me feel so, so good, sweetheart.”
You don’t think twice about his words, lazily trapping his lips in a sloppy needy kiss and mumbling ‘yes’ against him. In your fucked out state, you’re only half sure that you’re even speaking, the world around you fading. Dick slips his hand out of your panties, his palm soaked with your juices, and rests it on your thigh. 
“I need you to stand up for me,” he says, only half asking. 
He helps you up on shaky knees, your pants that had been resting just above your knees dropping the rest of the way to the floor. You brace yourself against the desk, half bent over while Dick slowly tugs down your panties. The minute the sticky, soaked fabric peels away from your pussy, you gasp.
Dick stares at the mess he’s made of you proudly, your folds glistening with the slick of your last orgasm. He burns the image into his mind while he fumbles with the zipper of his jeans, standing behind you while he drags them to the floor with his boxers. His cock springs free, thick and dripping with pre cum, begging for you.
He strokes it absentmindedly, all of his thoughts only on you and your trembling thighs, bent so perfectly over the desk waiting for him. He lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, rubbing it through your folds and prodding your clit before repeating the process over again.
Each shift of his cock, each rock of his hips, forces shivers of anticipation down your spine. Heavy breaths leave your lips, your arms barely managing to hold your weight over the desk when you dip your head down to stare at him through the crook of your arm.
“Such a pretty pussy. So wet and needy,” he groans when he finally lets his cock rest at your entrance. “So ready for my cock.”
You nod even though he’s mostly talking to himself. You let your arms sag against the desk and rest your face against your forearm, the sweaty skin sticking to your forehead. Dick thrusts forwards and lets the head of his cock push inside of you.
Moans leave him the second he dips into your heat, the tip of his cock stretching you in a way that has both of your eyes rolling back. His fingers resume their earlier position on your hip, digging in so hard it almost hurts. 
He stills once his tip is nestled in your walls, listening to the whiny breaths you let out while you adjust to his size. Your clench your hands into fists, slightly shifting from left to right to help him fit better. He’s big, bigger than you expected, but the way he molds your walls to his cock is almost enough to have you cum right then and there.
Dick is so distracted by the sight of his cock dipped inside of you that he doesn’t remember to move. It’s only when you let out a needy whine and shuffle your hips backwards that he realizes you’ve been waiting so patiently for him.
He snaps his hips against yours, the head of his cock barreling so deep inside of you so quickly that it almost hurts. “Sorry, pretty girl,” he pants, “didn’t mean to make you wait.”
You try to tell him that it’s okay but you’re silenced with another hard thrust. You cry out his name into your arm, your teeth grazing at your skin in your attempt to be quiet. Dick grabs the other side of your waist, using his hands to push and pull you as he pleases.
You fall further against the desk, your body lazily resting against it while Dick’s hips snap into yours repeatedly. The room is filled with the sound of skin on skin, a chorus of your combined moans filling the empty space between thrusts. Each shift of his hips, each prod of his cock, only spurs you further along.
You squeeze your eyes shut, completely focused on his cock battering its way through your walls. You’re only vaguely aware of Dick talking to you, his praise sounding incoherent beneath the rush of blood to your ears. Your pussy flutters around him, his cock scraping your cervix with every thrust.
He thrusts particularly hard into you, his cock jamming hard into the very edge of your walls, forcing a loud cry from you. It aches as much as it pleases, and without thinking, you’re suddenly crawling forward across your desk. Dick tightens his grip on you before you can get very far, tugging you back hard against him and slamming your pussy down on his cock.
You nearly squeal from the pleasure, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. That familiar heat builds inside of you once more, spilling over more and more with each intense thrust.
“You’re taking me so well,” he coos. “So tight—god, it’s like your pussy was made for me. Fuck.”
His lewd words add to that growing knot inside of you and suddenly you’re coming undone in his arms. Everything is too hot, too much, too loud. Tears spill from your eyes and you’re barely aware of the half sobs, half moans you let out through your orgasm.
“That’s right, let it all out. Good girl, cumming around my cock like that.”
Dick holds you steady the whole time you cum, thrusts growing sloppy as your pussy sucks him in and tries to keep him inside of you forever. He’s almost as breathless as you while he watches you cum and the way your pussy seizes around him is enough to have him tumbling over the edge after you.
He wraps both arms around your waist, pulling your hips flush to his, before he lets the both of you fall back into the chair behind him. Your new position forces his cock deeper inside of you—as deep as it can go—and then he’s cumming inside of you.
You can barely feel the hot ropes of cum he spills inside of you while you come down from your own high. Your thighs shake where they rest over his and you’re grateful for him holding you. 
Dick lets his forehead rest in the crook of your neck, his sweaty hair wetting your t-shirt. Even after he’s done cumming, he holds you tightly against him, the two of you panting in sync.
It’s nearly five minutes later when you can finally bring yourself to speak, your hoarse voice evidence of the pounding you’ve just taken. “I take it you saw my browsing history?” are the first words out of your mouth.
Dick laughs, his voice gravelly and deep and sexy. “Yeah,” he says, kissing your cheek. “I did.”
You awkwardly turn in his lap, twitching at the way it adjusts his half-hard cock inside of you. You look up at his eyes, the blue finally starting to seep back in through the dark. He cups your face, his hand sweaty, and pulls you in for another kiss.
When you pull away, you can’t help but ask, “so, what now?”
“First, I think I should show you how to use Incognito Mode.”
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masterlist | dc masterlist
if you enjoy content like this, interactions go a long way! i appreciate every like, comment & reblog i get ^^
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angel-sweets666 · 5 months ago
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A bit like bunnies
alpha!bakugo katsuki x omega fem! Reader
Tbh porn without a plot, dry humping,sex and rut with bakugo <3
Warnings: dry humping, grinding p in v sex, boob sucking, a/b/o system, breeding kink, free use
Katsuki slammed open your shared bedroom, a strong smell came from him. He immediately walked over to you and laid on your chest, laying between your legs. You could smell a strong scent coming from him so you pulled at his hair gently to make him tilt his head so you could smell his scent gland on his neck “are.. are you in a rut?” You asked softly, you could sense a heat coming on but that wasn’t for another week or two. Your cycles are sinking up and if they don’t the smell of his rut will send you to an early heat. You could already feel it as your body heated up.
Bakugo grumbled and grabbed at your hips “got told to go home… rut came on..” his voice was gruff and clearly he was pent up. Bakugo grabbed the plush of your thighs and pulled them apart further as he began to push his hips against yours, pulling a whine from your throat….his dick was already so hard “i need you you don’t understand, omega. I’m going crazy here” he said as he buried his face into your neck, taking a deep breath of your scent; groaning at the sweet vanilla scent. “Fuck…” he sighed and sat up, looking at you for the green light.
You gave him the green light to continue and he sighed in relief, grabbing you by underarms and sitting you up in his lap “arms up omega” he instructed, leaning against the head board and holding you by he hips. You lifted your arms up and bakugo grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. you weren’t wearing a bra underneath so you boobs just came out. Bakugo grinned and pushed you back into the mattress “ugh you’ll make such a good mother, gonna stuff you full of pups” he murmured as he began to suck on your tits, drawing a whine from you.
You arched your back into his touch, moaning softly. You could already feel yourself going into an early heat just from the wetness building up between your legs. Bakugo popped himself off your tits and he grabbed your hips, pulling you closer to his warm body. “Ngh.. you’ve got good birthing hips.” He grumbled and began to rock his hips against yours, pulling moans and grunts from both you and bakugo. “That’s a good mate… good girl..” he grins and leaned down to you, his hot breath against your skin. The arousal in your belly building up and making you desperate, you gripped the fabric of his shirt “one day.. I’m gonna keep you barefoot and pregnant.. all for me…” he told you as he lowered himself to bite your neck.
you whines and weaved your hands into his hair, giving his scalp and rub as he chuckled against your skin, Sitting up “you just let me do anything to you don't you?” His scent got stronger with each push of his thick cock against your core. The hardness of it giving friction to your desperate clit
You moaned and gripped his shirt tighter “pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!” You begged as he kept up with the grinding, using your hips to help him rub against you. “Please what? Tell me and I’ll do it baby” bakugo grinned smugly at you, watching you unravel under him.
“please don’t tease me! I’ve been good!” You whines with frustration, trying to get him to fuck you “awwww does the baby want her alpha to fuck her dumb?” Bakugo cooed at you as he began to pull your remaining clothes off , you whined and nodded frantically as you gripped at his clothes and hair. Once he got got you completely bare under him, his pupils grew. The alpha in him finally getting what it wanted, you.
bakugo groaned at the sight of your sweet pussy, all wet and ready for him. “I can’t do this anymore.. need to shove my cock.. in you..” he began to frantically pull his sweatpants off his hips, then pulled down his Boxer briefs , Freeing his leaking hard cock. Taking a few precautionary pumps of his dick. “You ready princess?” He asked you lowly, grabbing your thighs gently. “Y-yes please katsu..” you cooed in pleasure at the idea of his fat cock in your walls.
bakugo wrapped his big strong arms around your waist and brought you up to sit in his lap, or rather sit you up just at the tip of his cock. Lining it up with your entrance “go on omega.. ride me then..” he lets go of your Hips and grinned at you. You slowly lowered yourself onto his length, his cock stretching you out like it was nothing which draws a loud moan from you . Slowly you began to adjust to the feeling of his thick dick deep inside you, grabbing his shoulder. The alpha watched you try to fuck yourself on his dick, slowly sliding up and down in his lap. Bakugo groaned “you’re going to slow.” He grunted as wrapped his arms around your waist again and began to force you to go faster. Jack hammering the tip of his cock into your cervix, you moaned loudly, gripping onto his shirt with one hand and tugging at his hair with the other “gah! See..? It’s- it’s so much better when it’s hard huh? Y-you just let me do anything to you.. pathetic omega” he grumbled and bit down on your neck, raising you and lowering you on his cock with his arms. You buried your head into his neck and loudly moaned “I-i can’t.. I’m gonna!” You cried as his thrusts became sloppy, he slammed you down on his cock. Bottoming out, he began to paint your walls white with a grunt
“I swear if your not pregnant by the end of this.”
A/N MKAY SO THE END WAS RUSHED SHHHHH, I feel like this is bad but I found a bunch of spicy photos of bakugo and I just had to use one
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