#so clearly im very passionate abt that

[whumpshaped]

"and im getting quality prompts too. why dont these ppl have their own blogs so i can follow them and rb all this premium stuff. "

Can't write unless I feel obligated to for the sake of somebody else :(

Scrolling through your blog and manifesting regular asks in 2024 to get me out of this hole 😭

NO BUT. OK. I AM GRABBING U LIKE THIS

I HEAR SO MANY PPL SAY SIMILAR STUFF. AND HOW LIKE OHHHH I DONT RLY WRITE THIS IS NOT REAL WRITING.... POST THAT HALF BAKED SHIT. WRITE INCOMPREHENSIBLE PROMPTS. RAMBLE. SCREAM INTO THE VOID. thats half of what i do.

THERES TREMENDOUS VALUE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! if u guys posted all this stuff the community would be all the better for it bc theyre SO quality. i love u guys. if any of u ask senders ever make a blog to post these prompts or smth, or decide to start posting them on ur already existing blogs, whatever. just send me ur url bc i wanna follow. its such good stuff.

[idolomantises]

there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities

[noxtivagus]

INTERPRETATION YES THATS THE WORD I KEEP ON FORGETTING

[etherealyoungk]

hiii i saw u what u wrote abt cheol having a very seungkwan like s/o i wanna ask abt jeonghan having a very woozi and wonwoo like s/o tysm!!!!

hii! sorry for getting to this a bit late but here you go.

edit: HELP IDK I WROTE IT WITH SEUNGCHEOL AGAIN 😭😭 IM SO SORRY. and thank you to the person who pointed that out. i wasn't thinking clearly 💀 istg my mind was fixated on cheol and i wrote it for him instead. again im so sorry but i still hope u like this tho

i think seungcheol would find it quite endearing to have a s/o whose personality is like woozi and wonwoo. he would love how you were so passionate about what you did and GOOD at what you did and was always so proud and supported things that you did. i think seungcheol would also find you so so cool!

seugncheol would maybe have to take his time to get you to open up if you were quiet and kept to yourself in the beginning, but once you learn to trust him, he's your person. i think he'd be very understanding.

[stuffyflowers]

as the CEO of the ketsukane's what do you think of some takes of Kanako if she got to grow up normally/deltarune yellow kanako's? I find it a bit lame that a lot of people just turn her into bigger dorkier Ceroba, I think it'd be fun if more people did stuff with her interests in games and just generally her taking more after Chujin since her taking so much after Chujin (being so self sacrificial) is partially what caused her end in UTY. Idk on the deltarune yellow takes I just find it weird to turn her into some sort of shrine maiden when her wanting to be a superhero is right there. And they'd really think she'd wouldn't grow up with a love for tinkering?

tbh I don’t rly see enough grown up kanako centric fanworks to have any comment on the ‘bigger dorkier ceroba’ aspect ngl???+ in general im a lot more interested in how she’d grow up in the canon uty timeline as an amalgamate, and I am not a fan of how ppl erase the opportunity to explore her being one just to make things more ‘feel good’. but okay, hypothetical of her growing up without the incident taking place/deltarune yellow esque au…,

i do agree she’d take more after chujin obviously, tho I think saying her being self sacrificial is taken solely from chujin is a bit inaccurate, id argue both her parents are self sacrificial (ceroba throws her morality and wellbeing out the window just for a chance to make a difference! its not just chujin). The part id say that comes solely from chujin rather than both of her parents is more her interests and skillset, as u mentioned a bit with the video game he made for her. (and cerobas description of her also leaning towards her being more like chujin ofc)

on that note, i quite like the idea of her getting into robotics! i feel she would find much more success in it than chujin did... not to say there wasn't any passion behind the axis project, but at that point chujins priority had shifted more towards his overambitious goal of protecting the underground from a seemingly imminent threat. the fact that he was clearly less inclined to this line of work than his peers did not and could not stop him. meanwhile i feel like kanako would have a more genuine pull towards robotics, the opportunity to create life out of metal and magic would fascinate her. two of her greatest strengths seem to be her creativity and her intellect, which would mix perfectly in this role.

she would love the opportunity to create something that could help others, especially. another defining trait of hers is how driven she is by a desire to make things right and help others: willingly taking part in chujins experiments shows her love not only for her family, but for all of monsterkind (+getting very tunnel-visioned w the idea of being their 'hero,' title soaked in blood etc etc), and the lengths she is willing to go to show this. obviously making helper bots would be a much healthier outlet for this trait than letting herself get injected with a dangerous serum, lol!

as for the kind of robots she would make, i could see her starting off pretty simple with a bot to help her family out w/ everyday duties, maybe a gardener bot to tend to chujin's garden? as she gets more confident in her abilities, she grows more ambitious, creating bots w much higher capabilities. Though her favourite part always remains giving them their own distinct personalities and forming bonds with them, treating them like family (just as I like to believe she would have done with axis if given the opportunity… kanako and axis friendship is real 2 ME!!!! I could go (and I have b4 lol) on a whole other rant abt how ceroba treats the steamworks robots and how chujin abandons axis once he’s ‘dangerous’, and how this contrasts to kanakos drawing of axis, depicting him exactly as she would in a drawing of a friend to hang on her wall. She would love all robots unconditionallyyyyyy okay)

uh fuck how do I conclude this.. um accept robotics nerd kanako into yuor hearts. that is all👍

[boogeyalltheway]

Sanders Sides Character Recaps and Fortune Telling, what fun

let me start by saying I have suddenly been thrown back on the Fander train without my consent and this is the result of that. its a doozy, but if anyone wishes to discuss further id be delighted. so:

Virgil: came a long way, accepting being accepted, he's still dealing with the guilt of his past i spose. getting more familiar with everyone, him and logan are cute (platonically). Of course as Anxiety, he still struggles with lying (because we get nervous when we think about getting found out) and intrusive thoughts (what if im a bad person) but as a person(?) hes learning to come to terms with that, well on his way with a few crises coming his way, theres that whole thing with saying Paranoid to him, hope we face that. I see self discovery and good things coming his way, a win for all you virgil fans!

Roman: clearly, getting pretty emotionally beat, yknow, sides with Janus to be shot down, goes against Janus to be shot down again, significantly lacking in wins recently, you wonder abt his self esteem. Still doing his job great, which seems to be the only thing hes got going for him which is concerning. in the You vs Yourself vid hes very unsure about his moral views because he recognizes hes not Morality and when he proposes arguments they are based on endgoal, just like hes usually been as Passion, creativity, career drive, you might say? I dont see his arc being addressed in his near future, but I'm sure it will come to that. I see dark times before his good times roll, hang in there Roman fans, he'll get his moment.

Patton: Hes really been going through it, hasnt he. I mean, recently he just found out there was so much more complications to his job that he wasnt prepared to handle and to be faced with it all at once must be really challenging, especially when everyone is expecting results from him and he doesnt even know what to do and theyre all judging his decisions when hes just trying his best with all these new factors to consider with his job as Morality. Its easier for him to come to terms with Janus as deceit than Remus because he can easily see how lying can be good (even though he knows its also not a lot of the time) but he still doesnt really know how Intrusive Thoughts are helpful to Thomas or good in any way. I see in his future, job related anxiety and insecurity. It will be adressed, and its also good he was allowed his breakdown early (You vs Yourself, you can tell I really like this episode despite a severe lack of Virgil and Remus)

Logan: Well. we all know how this is going, I mean, hes the talk of the town lately! As a Logan fan, I can attest to the fact that he did used to be more lighthearted and smile more and I can also attest to the fact that Thomas is very aware of his development as a character and I don't think he'll let yall down. just, what I can glean from his videos. we're all waiting for him to go apeshit, and I with you, and i do think its coming very soon guys, hold on to your proverbial hats! I do enjoy that hes clearly indifferent to the new additions and not thrown off like the others. due to the fact that he is Logic. Id also like to point out that logic can be wrong and everyones logic is different. even if its less so compared to how anxiety is. so. logic is still susceptible to human whims. anyway theres been plenty going aorund abt ignoring logan and the orange side, and I'm always up for discussion on any of these guys. Hes really been just going ham into his job, huh? search for purpose, hmmm? ponder on that morsel. more alcohol in his life as well, an interesting observation.

Janus: oh, the snakey boi. How hes grown. he does a lot of drinking too. what for, I wonder. I do think the preposition to his song reveals a lot, like how Patton is talking to him more, how he knows truths and knows that some need to be hidden and its healthy to lie sometimes even when you know its a lie. Hes confident in himself and his abilities and knows when the criticism is ignorance vs actual criticism, which is why he values Logan's perspective on his arguments and brushes off Roman's jabs to his ego. Hes safely on the ride, and I dont see any heavy existential crises or anything in his near future, as in, he (and Remus, I'll talk about it later) will probably be the only mentally stable ones as the Light Sides are having their purposes reevaluated. Confidence is surprisingly key. who'da thunk it?

Remus: My favourite rat man. True to his name, hes very intrusive, and I admire his determination in his fight for acknowledgement. I think it will serve him well, the "face it bluntly hands on" tactic compared to Janus, who understands where he stands in the others' eyes and will slowly but surely snake his way (see what i did there?) to the table. Remus, and I love it about him, is just running forward to acceptance MACE ABLAZING and I hope it takes him good places. the WTIT ep was very revealing. his confidence in himself, like Janus's, will carry them through the generally rough patch that I predict is coming their way. i do think he is salty abt being ignored, which I interpret as the biggest difference between him and Janus (who might also be, but I dont really see it? I might also be in denial cuz this theory is really working for me) and Remus is wounded by it and trying to hide the fact that hes salty with his craziness and randomness that no one understands. its why he feels mor menacing than Janus. who knows, Janus might be just as peeved but hiding it better? settled himself in for the long game?

both dark sides certainly seem bent (and betting) on getting Logan to lose his marbles, but idk whether thats for Logans good or so the Reasonable Light Side (tm) will see what its like? and by proxy everyone else...? the tail end of the theory is escaping me now. its also 5 am.

Cant wait to see how the orange side manifests, wont that just be plenty of fun for all?

[twistedastrology]

Hello there!

Can you talk more about aries mercury? so...not the fool card? Even though they don't "think things through" before speaking? It seems to me aries in mercury is either over-emotional, too forward, too logical, too passionate and so many contradictory things all at once. I would REALLY love to hear what you think about that. Please.

Btw, Capricorn Mercury seems to be the most 'useful' mercury in terms of external/social benefits, in the sense that they have a constant filter that makes them gain respect by others easily. I don't necessarily like their minds to be honest, and they're generally not interested in lots of topics but I have to recognise how handy it could come to people who don't get to wish to discuss/delve deeper in various topics.

I have multiple cap mercuries in my life btw including friends, colleagues and my dear mother with whom--even though she's a Gemini Moon--barely manages to have hobbies of her own or participate in games.

I feel like cap mercury is perfect on the outside, but overly influenced by society's standards, rules and appearance on the inside bc of that filter. Like they don't really "think for themselves"? They're much more focused on appearances than on the content of a text, speech and mercury matters.

Sorry for the ramble. Also, discovered ur blog today and I love the authenticity.

A;

love love love love LOOOOOVE this ask thank u so so much omg- mercury stuff is one of my absolute favorite things to yap abt in astrology and i consider it kinda my specialty bc im mercury dominant myself so 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

let's start with aries mercury- in my experience, people with aries mercury aren't necessarily impulsive when it comes to their thoughts or how they talk, unless the rest of the chart says otherwise (mercury square mars especially could do this imo)

my mom has her mercury in 25° aries (so an aries degree) and she's like 99% fire with a cap rising that doesn't do a whole lot bc it's SUUUUUPER intercepted by aquarius- Like literally her whole 1st house is engulfed by aquarius but her asc line is in cap so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

she's the perfect example of an aries mercury in my opinion- she literally Cannot sit still for longer than like. an hour at best. even my gemini finds it slightly annoying but i just follow her around whenever we're talking 😭😭😭

she also has her sun and venus both in aries (venus conjunct mercury) so she's very aries dominant, and she's not very confrontational or impulsive at all- she's not really quick to anger either like stereotypical aries is, but she is pretty easily irritated id say 😵‍💫

in terms of mercury specifically, you can just See the aries influence in like everything she does- her organization isn't the neatest, but she has to have everything put away otherwise she'll lose her mind and she literally can't focus until the kitchen is clean or something-

her mercury goes a MILE a minute just like mine does so in talking to her, we can go from something very normal to the most out of nowhere conversation you could ever imagine- And we have mercury sextile mercury together (albeit a wide orb bc my mercury is 1° gemini 😵‍💫) so somehow we understand the other's chaos perfectly and actually manage to reel the other in without actually doing anything-

shockingly, where my gemini will get incredibly confused and overwhelmed, her aries will come in clutch- a good example of this is a while ago we were playing fallout 76 and if u dont know, in that game u have a stash box with limited storage capacity and it's inevitable that it'll fill up eventually so u have to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff to bring it back down-

i literally got so overwhelmed by that to the point of tears and my dad tried to help (his mercury is in taurus btw) and he literally couldn't bc i refused to open up to him tbh- so he went and got my mom and just her Being in the same Room with me got my mercury to sort its shit out- like she saw everything so clearly and directly, very aries, whereas i was overwhelmed by all the details, very gemini.

so i think aries mercury is actually a Really good placement especially if you have strong aspects to back it up- it can make you see complicated things very simply and clearly OR the opposite sometimes 😵‍💫 it Can make you overlook details and not understand something when it isn't perfectly direct- and i also notice that, at least with my mom, her aries mercury makes her a Little less good with people- only because a lot of people aren't as clear and concise as she would like them to be, and that's when i have to help her figure out what they mean 😭

i think aries mercuries do actually think things through before they speak, they just think so fast that it Seems like they don't- similar to gemini mercuries actually 😵‍💫

i also dont think they're overly emotional or hot-headed as per the aries stereotypes- i think they're actually a lot more calculated than we give them credit for especially since mars is the god of war, and to win a war you need strategy (personally i think aries rules the sun, but mars makes sense here so 😮‍💨)

ANYWYA in terms of CAPRICORN!!!!!

i have observed quite a few capricorn mercuries so i am extremely glad u brought them up-

i think what u said abt capricorn mercuries being the most useful in terms of social benefits is actually kinda real- i do notice that Most capricorn mercuries are similar to libra mercuries in that they are generally very respectful of the things they talk about, at least if they actually respect them 😵‍💫

i have 3 different capricorn mercuries that im using as examples in my head right now- jonathan davis, awsten knight and bill wurtz- if you've seen any of them in interviews, you'll notice they're all very different with the way they talk but i think jonathan davis and awsten knight are the most similar in the respect thing-

those two are both so charismatic and polite in my opinion- and bill wurtz is too but he's a lot more like what you would think an aries mercury would be like- he's very high-strung, at least in the interview i saw, and has a lot of nervous energy and talks So Fast and yet it still seems like his mouth cant keep up with his brain-

awsten is pretty similar, he's got adhd (same 😵‍💫) and talks pretty fast but his pace seems a little closer to a gemini mercury. it's slightly slower most of the time but the speed at which he talks and thinks seems to vary based on what he's talking about.

jonathan is very cap coded to me with the way he talks, and im silly for him rn so i have done extensive research 💔💔💔 But he seems very methodical, yet playful with how he talks and thinks- methodical but you can tell his brain is fully capable of that uranus level speed at the same time 😭😭😭

i think overall cap mercuries absolutely depend on the rest of the chart bc if u saw my beef with earth signs post (or newsletter!!), u'll have seen where i said earth placements are outlines waiting to be colored in by the rest of the chart-

so if someone has too many earth placements or like- a taurus-influenced cap mercury, i can Absolutely see how they could be someone who doesn't seem to think for themselves, or even thinks too Much about themselves-

i also think the smaller range of interests could actually make sense for a cap mercury because saturn is very much about mastery, so the mercury, unless influenced by another element that says otherwise, would hyperfixate on one thing until it masters it instead of a gemini or aries mercury which is more jack of all trades.

i hope this made sense and again thank u soooooo so much for this ask i really enjoyed this topic and if u have any other questions please feel free to send me them!!!!! i love when ppl send me questions it makes me rly happy 😭😭😭😭

[jay-jp-art]

hey hey, do you mind sharing your akiyama headcanons? just saw ur tags talking abt how theyre dark and im very interested!!!! your fem ryuaki fuels me in ways i cannot describe and i havent even played dead souls FHKGJG and your tanimuras have my whole entire heart!!!

Oh wow first of all THANK YOU for the ask!! It's been only couple days since I've discovered I've had them disabled all this time so I'm very happy I noticed it before you found my blog (,:

I've already complained a bit on twt that when I've started to write down ryuaki headcanons, it prompted me to make a 35+ pages google doc with meta on both of them 😅 It pushed me to write more fun drafts tho, so all is well, but it won't fit in this post for sure ahbfght

But ofc, I will share a little about Shun specifically. (TW for implied SA)

Akiyama... I have complicated feelings about him, because on the one hand, he got betrayed by his closest people, lost all the standing in society and lived as a homeless person for a long time, and that's a big trauma to have. But on the other... He's got back up by a miracle, and now he's trying to recreate the miracle for others. He assumes the role of a judge for other people while himself being too young, too flawed, having black and white morals.

(In Y4 I downright despised Akiyama when he refused a loan to an abused woman on the basis that she didn't want to apply for sex work, but in the same substory gave some cringefail guy 4 chances to complete the test just because it was amusing.)

But I've just completed Y5, and it gave me lots of food for thought.

First of all, from what I see, Shun here was written (rewritten?) as a more sympathetic character. For example, now when it's implied that he's gonna make some woman "use her body" for the loan, it means he's sending her to work on the construction site. Well, alright. I'll take the bad taste joke over previous cases.

There's also an important quest when Akiyama meets his former boss, who not only initially fired him on false accusations, which started his downfall, but also married his ex-fiancée. And Akiyama finally admits that at first, he wanted to use his position as a loan shark to be selfish and to get revenge, but got disgusted with himself after seeing some humanity and principles in the former boss.

So, here finally comes self-awareness about his actions. Interesting tidbit.

Another big part of the character building we see now: when he is alone in Osaka, without Hana around, he's a complete mess. His new office is dirty, he barely eats some instant ramen and clearly just uses the place to escape Tokyo and the responsibilities he created himself. If in Y4 we saw him within his element, managing Elise and doing loan business (with a messy table because he's just soooo quirky and lazyyy \s), then in Y5 we get to see a bit of what's inside his head. And it's not pretty.

He's clearly distancing himself - from Hana and his new yakuza friends, because they have their own lives to care about. (Tanimura too mayhaps, but this is a separate friendship that I also like to talk about a lot)

Aaand he escapes to his ugly nook to have his ugly depressive thoughts. Can't let them witness it, can he? They'd lose all the respect for him.

At the same time, he throws himself into helping Haruka with passion, because that's the thing he actually cares about, for the first time in a couple years. (He also provides her with some much-needed parenting about the importance of being selfish, because, being raised by Kiryu, she's entirely too self-sacrificing.)

And suddenly - he's lively and energetic again, he's bouncing off other characters, he risks his life for what he deems right, he's helpful, organizing, charming. He's everywhere.

(But he's also afraid to acknowledge that he's got too close to people again. So he's ready to literally die for them and Haruka's dream, but avoids calling them friends, settling for "acquaintances")

Not much needed to imagine that, after everything settles down, he falls apart again. Because in his head he's never really needed or too important for the people around. They carry on with their life and plans. Such as Eri, Arai, Yasuko. Even Hana got fed up and left at some point, and has been keeping him at an arm's length since. (Good for her, that was unhealthy)

He's not only not that interesting, his trauma is "ugly" (by his self-admission). It's not heroic and it's very mundane. There's no clear villains to blame, like with Majima's torture in Y0.

It's just - waking up is hard. Akiyama can't see the point in much of what he's doing anymore. Money is just paper for him now, they might have bought him the freedom of choice, but somehow it didn't help. Even with all the financial help to struggling people he can't buy healing for himself. Most alive he felt actually was when he lost the money briefly in Y4 - it made him work to get them back again.

Now it gets a bit tricky, hence the TW.

I think that a lot of things about him actually make sense, if while living on the streets, he had it bad enough to the point of selling himself for food. Like, I don't want to make it into torture porn or downplay the traumatic experience of homelessness overall, but something for sure ruined him and his self-perception. That's why he's bouncing between playing a self-righteous entity and hating himself.

Aside from his crippling depression from all this being shunned deep inside and not addressed, there's the attitude about sex work I've mentioned he has in Y4. He is distancing himself from the situation yet again. A little bit of a trick to calm his mind: "If I treat it like every other job, it won't feel as dehumanizing applied to myself". And also: "Well, I was not above doing that! I was not too proud to do it! Why should anyone else be?"

Now, of course he doesn't want to subject his former boss (and, by extension, Eri) to the same hardships. Even though he is, actually, a bit of a cruel person.

So here's Akiyama in Y4-5. Not super pretty and kind of greasy, but nevertheless charming, gallant and crazy smart. Fighting and dancing and singing and networking equally well. VERY annoying, because he considers himself an expert in all things he read about even once (I also hc him eidetic memory, which makes it worse). And with every year getting more secluded and miserable.

That being said, fem ryuaki has slightly different tone even in all-fem AU because of gender expectations. Akiyama's upbringing for example.

I hc his parents seeing him as this very "proper" son, encouraging his risk-taking neurodivergent activity ONLY when it helped to build onto that image. They happily bragged about their son - with prestigious business degree, good banking job and pretty fiancée. But ofc, when it's all came crashing down, they didn't want to hear about him anymore. Nowadays they acknowledge his existance with some disdain, because they care about reputation more then about him or his wealth. And he has some "disgusting jobs, no respectable friends and no wife".

(It's all kinda complicated from both sides, mb I'll get deeper into it in fanfic that I'm writing)

(And forgive me for saying this, but fem Akiyama is more interesting for me to write in this narrative, because she needed to balance fitting "proper little quiet Japanese woman" with her loud banking career, and while she was always openly feminine, she was never proper or quiet "enough". And now she's "not enough" among actual living legends.)

Well, that's all I have to say for now!

I'm always open for further questions and discussions 😊

[skreebs]

Hey did you guys know that the bsd s5 opening and ending are from akutagawa and atsushis persoectives

Kiseki [ED]

I’ve realized, since I met you

That I’m this afraid of losing you

When I stop, you know, I can still hear

The reason why I am who I am

I’m not confident enough to be proud of it, but…

If you believe in me, I can believe in me too

Sparkling and flashing, the world keeps on turning

In the midst of it, in this place, what can we do?

The world we live in, we’ll protect it

With our little hands

So much so that I feel like I’ve been dreaming

The things you gave me

They’re all connected, overlapping and overflowing

Everything is a trail we’ve walked

Your warmth over somebody else’s voice

As far as my voice can reach, this is my world

I just want to tell you this

Thank you for finding me

Sparkling and flashing, the world keeps on turning

In the midst of it, in this place, what can we do?

The world we live in, we’ll protect it

With our little hands

The wind swayed the flowers

That bloomed in our city

They called my name

That’s my sign

The wind swayed the flowers

That bloomed in our city

They called my name

That’s my sign||

Tetsu no Ori [OP]

If you knew I loved you, you’d swoon

Killing me, there’s no end to it

Human body temperature and sensitivity

I’m optimistic about where I’m going

There’s no end to the night

Then I’ll ask you where we’re going

Private talk, in writing, when will it be done?

Here we go now

Melting and blending karma

I want to keep it private

I want to stay messy

Gains and Losses

Kiss in the moonlight

Bedrock beat it!

It was a travesty

Mundane passion took care of it

Uncertain gaze winked

A lonely premonition

While binding the destination of hesitation

There are places that can only be seen by stopping

There is a place where you can’t go

The Eden that aged headlong

Shattered as a matter of course

The boundary between yin and yang

No need for discovery to shake it open

Bug in the iron cage

Unable to ignore

Avant discarded

The momentary flame that fades away

Scattering sorrow

As if swallowing it up

Only to burn away

The loss of ecstasy

That we can only be slaves to something

Knowing that you will lose

You’ve already taken flight

You’ve become a butterfly

If I could fly now

Outside the iron cage

A common passion took care of you

An uncertain gaze winked at me

A lonely premonition

Even if the destination of hesitation is bound together

The momentary flame that fades away

Scattering sorrow

As if swallowing it up

Only to burn away

The loss of ecstasy

There are places that can only be seen by stopping

Places you can’t go

———————

im going so insane abt the s5 intro and ending because gay but also its so wonderful it so perfectly captures their sides of the story with akutagawas side being so aggressive and alone while atsushis ending side has a chorus at the end that reflects the scene where akutagawa yells at atsushi because he doesn’t understand how he doesn’t find worth in himself when atsushi has: a wonderful ability (“I’m not confident enough to be proud of it but…If you believe in me, I can believe in me too” with “it” most likely being atsushis ability), the admiration of dazai (“I just want to tell you this. Thank you for finding me.”) and friends (The chorus of multiple voices), all of which are things akutagawa doesnt believe he has. And even if this ending somehow isnt about Atsushis feelings toward Akutagawa, it still shows very clearly how Akutagawa feels he’s alone on his own path of sucess he’ll never achieve

[shadowbannedthehedgehog]

locked in a silent one sided war with the caribbean studies dept of my uni who is responsible for my thesis all bc the rejected my original thesis topic n i was very passionate abt it n from my in dept search none of the other papers actually discussed my topic so they pretty much wrongly rejected my topic n i tried to prove that and got ignored so yeah i'm pissed and like i'm not going to any of the seminars which my attendance at is mandatory bc i hate them n clearly they personally hate me too and it's a war i mean is this all me exaggerating? yh but this is how i see things i mean at least now i'm also better at seeing that the way i see things is a bit over the top doesnt really change the way i see it tho n like i still think my perception of all of this is justified bc fuck them? i had like my whole life attached to tht topic ok so yeah i mean the seminars are recorded n shared afterwards so it's not like the end of the world tht i dont go n there's like what myb 100ish students yh attendance is marked but like me being there wld be less uh noticable than me skipping n since i'm probably already "under their radar" having full absences for the seminar is probably a kind of bad idea ahah but whatever it also genuinely clashes with my german class so yh i mean myb im overeacting being unreasonable n being led by my emotions but it's the way i see it n myb it's wrong but again when i think abt it my first thought is fuck them fr??? bc they like destroyed my carefully planned out life (final yr of uni) n now i'm scrambling everything is uncertain n yh ok myb the average person wld just fuck it we ball but myb i'm not the average person n they shld be more uh considerate of the ppl whose lives they try to ruin with their stuck up haughty selfish academia practices like truly if i had found even one study tht even minorly mentioned content based instruction i wld still be upset n pissy abt it but i wld've stepped down n admitted i was wrong but i cant find one that even mention those words so it's like not to sound like a broken record but fuck them screams n ik like at the end of the day anything i do will only be sabotaging myself bc like this thesis is for me it's not benefitting them in any way whatsoever which is yk also why theyare fully removed n disconnected from the situation n thus have full liberty n dont care abt how their actions impact us bc i mean they've made it in life n we can all die for all the care except then ahaha how wld they cash in the big bucks for ruining our lives n making it more difficult than it has to be yk yah whatever i hate them n tht's tht ✌

[ittybittybumblebee]

the most important aspect of art to hone outside of understanding fundamental ideas (though neglecting some in it of itself can make for good stylistic flair with outsider art being its own fascinating category) but the concept of conveying emotions consistently and communicating your ideas succinctly through your art. the most skilled form artists can struggle the most with that and the best way to keep it sharp is to be passionate at all so stressing over form and negative comparisons is the best way to kill that. you clearly are at no risk of doing any of that though as presented in the last post but also in literally all of your works so far ahahaha so dont even worry about it ahaha

Thanks :')

I really obsess over like,, conveying things how i feel them or how i think it would best come across to others.

Weight, and depth and shape and colour and etc... it all adds to a Feeling. Or feelings. A mood, it sets a tone. And it can compliment whatever youre trying to do.

The visual of it at all and whatever its portraying means more to me than how 'good' it looks really,,, but sometimes i very much do get in a rut where i wish i had the skill of a more accomplished artist than i, to really get into it even more, i love bending and pushing shapes and lines and colours etc.... but sometimes i lack the understanding how to do it exactly how i see in my head. Or how i want it to feel.

And sometimes i start to doubt my abilities if my stuff isnt to my standards.

Im bad at explaining things sorry lol and i reaaaally hope i dont come off as pretentious whenever i talk abt this stuff

[funnywormz]

mp100 or toh for the ask game :0c?

someone else sent me mp100 so i will do toh for this ask!!

blorbo (favourite character, character i think about the most):

eda....... i love her so so so much......... she's basically the embodiment of everything i could ever want from a female character and she's the sole reason why i started watching the show in the first place <3 she's funny and silly. she's so sad. she's loyal and cares so deeply abt others. she's rude. she's uncouth. she's feminine. she's masculine. she can turn into a badass huge beast. she's bisexual. she's a milf. she's a witch and a hag. she's such a tragic character and yet still so fun. she's deeply relatable. she commits so many crimes. she's everything to me.

scrunkly (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

hunter....... he's such a good character. the owl house always nails comedy AND tragedy and i think he's a perfect example of that, he can be such a (unintentionally) comedic character but when you think abt him for more than a few minutes you start to get Sad. ik he's very popular in the fandom but i can understand why, he's such a great character

im putting gus in this category as well bc he's so adorable and i love him so much. such a cute silly little guy. his backstory was very relatable to me and he reminds me a lot of my younger self, albeit more outgoing and confident lol. he's a rlly caring and sweet character at times and puts his own feelings aside for the benefit of others, which is a side of him we see in the human realm especially. he's so young, even younger than the other kids, and he's been through so much....... someone give this kid a hug please

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fav):

darius....... i know he's already pretty popular in the fandom but i just think he should be even more popular. he's my babygirl and he deserves it

gus (again). like with darius he's already pretty popular but i think he should be Even More Popular given that he's a member of the main cast and all. he's such an intriguing character to me and he doesn't get nearly enough hype imo

glup shitto (obscure fav, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and i won't shut up about it for a week):

this golden guard......... he only appears for like one flashback scene but he's fascinating to me. he clearly wasn't integrated into witch society and was going along with philip's plan to hurt/kill witches, which is rlly interesting bc later on philip seemed to take on the strategy of telling the golden guards they were witches and letting them view him as a witch as well. i wonder if the moment in this flashback where they stage the explosion was the moment that convinced this golden guard to rebel, when he saw how people were suffering because of philip/belos.......

obv caleb as well. we haven't even seen him get animated yet or heard him talk but he means so much to me and every time he's even vaguely mentioned i go rabid. fingers crossed that we'll see more of him in the next episode

poor little meow meow ("problematic"/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fav):

obviously it's fucking Phil. hate this guy so much but i cannot shut up abt him or stop thinking abt him. putting him in a blender biting him kissing him so passionately (who said that)

horse plinko (character i would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

kikimora. she is so pathetic and i think her suffering is funny sorry

eeby deeby (character i would send to superhell):

him again. i think he should burn in hell forever <3

[moodr1ng]

talking abt my ocs nobody knows abouttt :)

i <3 thinking about my ocs on main hold on.. so klein is like. originally i was gonna make him a lil older but i think hes actually about 31. and originally the thing where hes xeres's roommate was kind of a joke at his expense? where i just wanted this really pathetic little man to be around and i thought itd be funny if hes like.. a guy who doesnt have a Real Job (hes a data entry freelancer. hes very passionate abt it and its definitely not interesting.) and who sublets his spare room to make rent to some student whos clearly got more going on for her than he does. and he has a lousy first name so he goes by his last name, and all his clothes are a little too big bc hes short, and he always dresses like an 80s office worker bc his dad was a washed up yuppie and he aspires to emulate him despite there not being much to emulate. and hes one of the "oh i just dont do labels you know" kinda people or at best hell say hes gay but hes not, hes bisexual but hes intimidated by women and hes bad at being masculine or taking charge and hes convinced himself that means he would be no good w a woman bc hes bought into the idea that m/f relationships have set roles that he cant fulfill.

but the most important thing about klein. is that if his teenage roommate came home one night and was like "hey man, sorry im late on wiring you rent, i can do it tonight but um btw i just killed a guy" he would definitely go ahhh fuck ahh well what are you waiting for we gotta deal with this before rigor mortis sets in!! like i think he wouldnt hesitate and part of it is that hes a good friend to xeres even tho shes always making fun of him, part of it is that he has a deep mournful yearning for something wild and special to happen in his life and i think hes always rearing to go for something that he cant handle, and the last part is just that hes too stupid to realize hes not involved and doesnt have to do anything about it.

[sarahtheconjurer]

@ghosttmachine tagged me in a get to know you meme thing (tyyy!!)! So. Here i am posting for oncce lez goooo

Last song:

Technical answer is post traumatic blues by corey taylor, bc ive been using the spotify dj thing and it keeps giving me metal that i o ly kinda like. The funner answer was rhe barbie movie ost since me and my friends literally just got back from it n my friend mariana had me play it in the car. Not rlly my thing was catchy (barbie movie was good btw! Posts abt it being like. Not the deepest critique of social issues and the like are correct but it was a fun time w a lot of heart + rlly great production value + honestly. Very funny. And i watched it w two of my best friends so :})

Currently reading:

For books:

When the Angels Left the Old Country

I haven't touched it in a hot sec, but its a queer, historical fantasy ya book based in jewish folklorex about an angel and a demon that leave europe, after a girl goes missing from the village they've set up shop in. It's very light and whimsical which is not my usual fare, but I'm enjoying it! Its very heartfelt and the two main leads have very good chemistry. And its always cool to see angel/demon lore outside the usual christian sphere.

For manga: steel ball run (part 7 of jojos bizarre adventure) its. A story about a cross continental horse race to find the body parts of jesus. Which is the most coherent way i can put it. Im rereading it w two of my friends rn and im enjoying it! It isnt my favorite part, but its up there, and features some of the best stuff in the series. This is. Also a story featuring a pair of ride or die protagonists with a very strong dynamic and chemistry (honestly, best 'set' of protags in the series) and so much comes from their bond. Its at the point in the series where it started getting a monthly release and it shows, w some rlly gorgeous art. Gyro and Diego are highlights artwise because the former doesnt have a stand he just. Has these steel balls he spins and throws around, so you get very dynamic shots of him just. Chucking them that the author uses in super creative ways to lead the eye and compose panels and the latter. Can turn himself and other things into dinosaurs. Have you ever seen a dinosaur ride a horse? Its fucking sick. It also has some interesting themes of american imperialism and christianity, of all things, which i think are done, well in some respects, esp given the authors track record. IT ALSO HAS SOME OF THE WORST STUFF IN THE SERIES THAT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL HIM W HAMMERS.

Currently watching:

Nothing in particular, but ive got a p big to watch list (Trigun, mob psycho, etc) and i just watched the barbie movie, like i said.

Current obsession:

Guess. Take a guess.

Jfc jojos bizarre adventure is holding me at gunpoint. Its not good its not bad (besides when it is) it its own tier of media. I forgot how much 15 year old me was obsessed w it and so i foolishly rewatched it thinking id be. Normal. I was wrong. God. I've never seen anything like it! It's so clearly a passion project from someone who's very eccentric and so it goes from absurd and stupid and comedic to circling right back to being very human and poignant. Like, it's about love! And familial trauma! And prevailing in the face of great tragedy! And also killing the president because jesus told you so! It's got a myriad of flaws from technical writing issues to genuinely tasteless/bigoted content, so its not some untouchable media, but ive been enjoying it a lot.

Part 5 and 8 are my favorites for very different reasons.

Part 5, Golden Wind, is abt a bunch of weird mobsters on a roadtrip through italy to kill their boss. It has a very charming supporting cast who are a sort of found family of societal rejects, brought together by this guy named Bruno who acts as a leader + mentor + sort of dad? To them. They're all surprisingly fleshed out characters, esp for this early on in the series, and their group dynamic, combined w some of the best fights in the entire show, really sell this part. The main character and main villain are. Not good. Sans a few aspects. Tho. Like i forget giorno is there half the time. (Giorno is my beloved stale cracker of a character but hes MY stale cracke, tho)

Part 8, Jojolion, is uh. Hm. It follows this amnesiac dude who wakes up in the dirt, as he tries to piece together the person he was. It's set in an au version of the town from part 4, w some characters being spins on old ones. Its the most recent part, and it shows. Its a lot better structured, paced, and developed compared to earlier parts. The mystery running through it has a lot of fun twists and turns, the themes are coherent, and the pace is slow, but not meandering. The supporting cast is fun (the lead's romantic interest is an actually decent jojo woman and they have a very cute relationship, and the family the main character is sort of adopted into are all fucking insane) but the real draw for me was the main character. Josuke (the second. Theres another josuke from an alternate universe in part 4, anyway) is probably my favorite jojo. I could go on about him, but compared to the others, he feels the most real? Theres this very grounded sense of frustration abt him as he tries and fails to piece together who he is, while everyone around him seems to have somethimg they need from him, or an idea of who he SHOULD be. He isnt a hero, he isnt even all that noble, hes just trying to find himself and if anyone out there loves him. He's blunt, one track minded, and is doing the jojo equivalent of spamming x to skip through all the dialogue bc hes not here for anyones shit beside his own. Jojolion somehow captures the feeling of being a weird, displaced pseudo adult trying to piece yourself together, while everything Keeps Fucking Happening. I love it so much. But by god does the ending suck hoooooly shit oh my god dude jesus christ. Fucking. I hate tohru i hate tohru i hate tohru fjcjendnxzlzm. Anyway jobin sweep

OTHER OBSESSIONS INCLUDE OCS AND DND.

Im currently running a csm tabletop n curse of strahd game, and am in a ravenloft game. They're all very different but i love them all.

Ravenloft game is a sort of sequel to the curse of strahd game i was in a while bsck

I play pageturn (kenku paladin) and coda (changeling flavored as fallen angel, bard). Ones a 13 year old w a kill drive going through a double crisis of faith while somehow being the heart of the group and the others a shapeshifting corrupted celestial, whos trying to find themself. we are currently exploring the fomain the latter was imprisoned in and have found the eye of vecna and. I am. Excited and concerned for what our wonderful dm has cooked up.

Chainsaw Man game is a high stakes office drama following the worst group of devil hunters youve ever seen. Its more episodic and light than my other games which is a nice change of pace, and i rlly like the energy our group brings to the table. I am always horrified and surprised by whatever new government supplied human rights violation they commit next! Every character is uniquely sad, while still maintaining the token csm dark comedy abt them. We are currently revisiting a mystery allll the way back from our first session and im stoked for some stuff i have planned.

Sippy Crew (curse of strahd game) is drawing to a close and ahh i could make a whole post abt how much these guys mean to me. Its been a joy dming for this group of freaks and watching as they come together not into a found family, but a group of distinctly doomed, but fiercely loyal individuals. They've had two pc deaths, even more close calls, and have lost so much, but they're pushing through like dandelions in concrete. Its genuinely the most emotionally invested ive been in a ttrpg, and am so excited, to see their journey come to a close, and will miss them dearly.

Both jojo and ttrrpgs have been a way to reconnect with friends i dont usually talk to as much, and strengthen the bonds of the friends that i do, which is why theyve hit so hard, haha.

anwyaY this turned out way longer than it needed to be bUt.

@turtleslothart @500sunstone you. Do this.

[hirokiyuu]

ok iconoclasts thoughts under the cut

GOOD GAME GAME GOOD IN MY MOUTH very tasty the narrative and thematic coherence was sooooo fucking good i cannot get over the like. everything abt religion and family and belief and control and how all those entertwine. their priestess/goddess being mother, the isi worshipping the concept of fertility+their ancestors, royal as the "royal progeny" instead of a person with a name, elro losing control of things and trying to get in the transcendence pod and just the way everything all ties into itself is soooooo

its very clearly like. a game made by one person alone. there is so clearly one single author here and u can really feel that? the passion project of it all if that makes sense. just everyhting and how it all ties in and just............. its so good

idk i liked that the ending was bittersweet and i like that some things were lost and im SO SAD U CANT SAVE ROYAL but i do get it. but im so sad abt it anyways. i wanted so badly to save him im crying sobbing wailing in my heart he made it off the moon in my heart hes with me

royal in general was a big fave i love when characters are stupid and just everything abt him was so fun. guy who doesnt care abt ppl but also has never had anyone in his life To care abt before robin so like. when would he have even learned. and hes just hes sooooo the whole speech on the moon i wanted to shake him like. KID MOTHER WASNT UR FAULT IT WAS HERS IT WAS HERS

character writing in general was so good tho like. man. they all felt so real? i was talking abt this w/leo after i beat it but like i do really like that all the characters were so like......... they were all just some guy. no one was "evil" no one was "good" they were all just trying u kno. and what they wanted clashed and they couldnt agree but it was just. good. good content

oh black was another big fave hahahha she showed up and i was like. wow angry woman! haha i like her dialogue. adn then i got to the sand pit and i was like. oh my god. oh my god. oh my ogd. (me whipping out my phone at six am to write fic on it first thing after waking up) Oh My G

god i just. the coherence of it was soooo nice u kno. so many stories where things get lost in the weeds but iconoclasts really like........ cohered in really nice ways. the final boss was a bird who was a mechanic and like. there was never any god. there was just some guy doing a job and clearly having a bad day at work and then he dies not even on purpose but bc he gets in a dumb work accident. nothing about it was divine nothing abt it was holy it was just something htat happened GOd

veryyyyyyy satisfying im thinking abt it it was so tasty. so tasty. in my mouth. god. agent BLACK

[knockknockknockingonhootysdoor]

soooo what happened between darius alador and perry in that 'how could u do this to me? i thought you were my friends!' drawing of teen darius? 👀

in the particular doodle ur refering to, it could be either odalia/alador or eda/perry he's talking too.

the former bc they have gotten together and excluded darius a lot more so from their lives; its a culmination of the alador/darius friendship breakup. OR the latter for their interference in the love triangle and telling odalia to go for it, thinking they'd save darius from eventual heartbreak (bc they think alador kinda sucks), which is very counterintuitive. but they are.... like 15/16? they are not the brightest.

im trying to find the best wording for making this understandable with context but i'm literally the stupidest at media/ character analysis so my interpretations/headcanons for their relationships are all undercut to read if you want more context,,

ok so in my mind eda, raine, and lilith were a friend group and tentatively bc of raine's friendship with darius, he, perry, alador, and subsequentially odalia all... knew each other? hung out? were school friends? like clearly darius and perry got along with eda, raine and lilith more considering the nucleus gallery dana art.

so in a convoluted map of hormones you have: eda and raine slowburn 200k. alador and darius friends? mutual pining but totally not doing anything abt it? perry with an unrequited crush on darius. whatever tf odalia and alador have going on. and lilith is literally just standing there.

i think a lot of the groups issues involve a lot of assumptions and miscommunications. like eda and raine's relationship falling out bc of eda's assumptions that raine couldn't handle dealing with her and her curse and refusing to even tell them anything about it. or raine's assumption that eda's reluctance to open up to them has any bearing on eda's feelings for them for example.

i feel like the alador/darius/perry weird love triangle falls in a similar catergory. odalia assumes darius's feelings for alador are more surface level as opposed to having a genuine connection. she sees alador as a potential partner in the most literal sense; they could create a life together that benefited both of their ambitions.

[i also want to add i dont think odalia is trying to be like evil or anything here in this place in time. I think shes a teen who, given the competitive nature of societal rank and privileges within the coven system, wanted to do her damnest to find a good place in life. if that had to be with alador, so be it. she's self-serving here, only later as power and wealth became more present in her life and grasp, i think her self-service grew into apathetic greed.]

alador is literally like... the most guy ever where he's like... listless. Not to say he doesnt have interests or passions, clearly sharing many with darius, but the difference lies with the fact he doesn't know how to speak for himself to the detriment to himself [and later his children]. he just lets things happen to him. and i think thats really the crux of the fission with his friendship with darius is that he let him go without any regard to darius's feelings.

darius is so much more confident as an adult coven head that im of the mind that he wasnt always so. and i think this is probably before his mentorship with the prev Golden Guard so like he's just some guy so he doesn't have the experience to know what to do or feel in a lot of situations. least of all when it comes to his feelings. he's got a lot of bravado im sure but im sure its to cover his more caring nature. and so when his friends go behind his back and making decisions for his sake, he's very rightfully pissed and heartbroken.

for me, perry seems like a very unfortunate casualty in this. he just had a crush on this guy and that guy kinda liked this OTHER dude but that OTHER dude was in a slowburn divorce arc with this one girl in his Oracle track classes. so like, it would be a win for everyone if darius wasnt strung along and odalia and alador got together right?

and i think eda's just down to help her friends but again she's all action and no thought so i dont think she realized how fucked the situation actually was....

and again emphatically, lilith is literally just standing there.