#so I'm optimistic things will get better!
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Beyond the Binary ⊹ฺ๑
You come out as Non-Binary [Rise]Donnie & Leo
[rise]donnie x gn!reader (they/them)
[rise]Leo x gn!reader (they/them)
Raph & Mikey (wip)
Leo
He.. is a little confused
Doesn't entirely know what it means, but when you explain it he just implodes
"wait wait... So... Youre not a boy""no""and youre not a girl?""no"
"So you're like... Your own deal?"
"I guess so, yeah"
"well... Of Course you are! There is only the best for moi! You are my cool, sexy, mysterious s/o!"
He thinks rightfully so that being non binary is just 10x better than being a boy or a girl
"So many opportunities!!"
Believes that you should be worshipped, he already did, but now it's to make you feel validated and seen because "only a true Deity would be as unique as you"
He will challenge anyone who doesn't use your pronouns even after telling them
"Well, THEY are the absolute best thing ever, and YOU could never ever compare in any way!"
On days you feel like you're unsure or maybe even think you're faking it, Leos there to hype you up!
"well, I mean, if you think about it, being a boy/girl is.. really boring" "what?" "Well, Yea, I mean, they have like, set societal norms they wanna fit into and well... You don't want to! That's really cool and rebellious, plus, you have a mysterious aura around you! Making you almost just as good as moi!"
"In a world of Boys and Girls, you are a Star!"
He might not get it at first, but he works to understand you, and just absolutely adores you!
⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑⊹ฺ๑
Donnie
Donnie definitely knows what it is, probably feels a little similar, but decided not to put a label on it
"Hmm well, I do suppose it's to be expected, you have almost never seemed as optimistic with your old pronouns"
He seems to make the pronoun adjustment immediately, not struggling at all
He holds this expectation to his brothers as well, so if any of them accidentally slip up, he will give them "death glare" while killing them with his eyes
He is very supportive of you in little ways
If you're out for everyone, anything he makes for you will have a small, subtle nb flag on it
If youre ever feeling down about your identity, Donnie will either send SHELLDON with some of your comfort items or
If you're really really feeling bad, he will allow you to get physical comfort if that's what you want
If not, although he isn't good with words, he will try his best
He just wants you to feel better as soon as possible
Donnie believes that being non binary has absolutely no affect on your personality, nor you as a person
So he won't outright compliment you on being non binary
But instead will compliment you on things you've expressed insecurities about before
"Hm that shirt doesn't exude male or female qualities, every dumb dumb will be unsure of your gender all day"
In the end, Donnie doesn't care how you identify, all he cares about is that you love and understand him, and he will do the same to you <3
This is a little short, but I'm thinking of doing some one shots with a nonbinary reader! I hope y'all enjoyed this! (✿^‿^)
#bluberri writes#tmnt x reader#tmnt#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt leo#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie x reader#rottmnt leo x reader#tmnt leo x reader#tmnt donnie x reader#tmnt headcanons#headcanon#donnie x reader#leo x reader#rise donnie#rise leo#donnie tmnt#leo tmnt#nonbinary#nonbinary reader
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Very late to this but I’d be interested in the plex history ask game
Not late at all! The post has a few likes too so I'll maybe set it up once I have everything written down and organised. May be a little bit due to hopefully a very swiftly approaching change of meds (and Helldays also known as Christmas/Boxing day) but yeah!!! Soon!!!
I have another game to set up too that'll be pretty fun to fuck around with! That's an art one though so who knows when that's happening :( Soon though!!! Everything's soon!!! I have given up on exactly nothing just you wait till I figure out whadda hell I'm doing!!! You're all getting SWARMED and it'll be all over for you guys!!!! The ultimate question of if I was nerfed enough at birth will come the moment I settle on some helpful meds lmao
#thank you for your interest lads i will work on the history and workshop the game for us to play!!#the history one will currently exclude some guys... which sucks but they'll be the focus of the art game so it balances out!#i should... make a checklist like i did for the submechanophobia wiki project for the history doc...#that might help my brain do it...#hm#ALSO APPARENTLY AMFEXA MEDS USE UP A LOT OF FUCKING NUTRIENTS AND SHIT#BRO NO WONDER I'VE BEEN FEELING SO CHRONICALLY FUCKED UP#so long as the prescription goes through I'm switching off those real soon though#so I'm optimistic things will get better!#and of course#easier!!#as is the intention with meds but hey ho silver these ones are no go#anyway I'm so fucking tired so goodnight!!!#i will be adding this to the list of stuff i wanna do!!#glad people are interested in this stuff!!!#pop rox talks
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I feel like I have to keep saying that the admins and Quackity are better than just killing 5 eggs off screen, especially when so many still have lore and builds planned. Like maybe I'm just missing things cause of work but c'mon, stop assuming every event will result in egg death
#qsmp#the series makes me optimistic that things will always get better#which is a goddamn miracle cause i'm a pessimistic bastard#so i will continue believing in the good outcomes until i'm proven wrong
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i am fighting for my life, i am so tired of my neck trying to destroy me lol
#when will they let me get my stupid surgery 😩😩😩#i think i did actually get a good grade in having a tongue at my last appt though#i am now able to do things i was completely unable to do in my initial exam and i don't think i was expected to get that pre-op#so I'm cautiously optimistic that after this next one or maybe the one after i could get the greenlight#my ability to eat has been improving too i think actually but that has been miserable because my body is so not used to it lol#and it kinda comes and goes#the more relaxed i get about it the better i do overall but then i also choke more often fjsjd so you win some you lose some#and i once again cannot sing AT ALL#that also comes and goes but it's completely unpredictable for me#there's also nothing that can be done about the breathing for now it seems#i definitely handled it all a lot better when i didn't know what was wrong but now that im so aware and know there's a solution#it drives me completely crazy lol
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this is mainly me rambling so i apologize in advance, but in general, i'm loving the pjo show and i feel like with each episode it's gotten stronger so yay ! but i do agree with the common consensus that so much of the action feels watered down ??? and besides it most likely being a symptom of disney (🙄), i think this also has to do with the slightly quicker pace - like either the episodes should be a bit longer or extended to 10 instead of 8 going forward idk
like i love when we just focus on character moments, and the added interactions we've been getting are great (annabeth with mrs. dodds, the trio bonding/bickering, etc) but the lack of REAL action is starting to stick out, and i know this is meant for children, but so were the books !! stop sanitizing things - percy talks about how life as a halfblood is scary and grim, so show us !!! when scenes are rushed we don't get to fully sit with the fear and tension that the characters must be experiencing, as well as the pretty high stakes of it all, which effects the audience's connection to the story/characters. just let us be truly afraid for them !! and while i don't have much of an issue with how the timeline of events in the novel has changed in some spots, i think it adds to this, and hopefully they figure it out down the line bc i think the maj of the problems can be solved by just looking at the pacing !
#i say 'just' as if pacing is so simple lol but they can figure it out#like i'm enjoying it immensely and am fully aware that it's an adaptation#but idk it's a general criticism of mine that with a lot of things directed at children there's a fear of showcasing 'darker' themes/scenes#i also might feel like this bc i rewatched mulan recently lol and disney didn't shy away from darker elements before#anyway i'm cautiously (?) optimistic that it'll only get better from here :)#pjo tv show#pjo#percy jackson
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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it's so fucked that maybe it's for the best i haven't started T yet. it's been something i've been upset about and has really worn down on me. my current life situation had caused me to wait; now the fact that i'm not on it is one that may keep me safer than otherwise.
this is fucking dismal i'm so upset
#i'm trying really hard to stay optimistic#and have by no means lost hope that things will get better#they will.#things are just so scary right now
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i don't understand why some people care so much about living as long as possible. "follow this diet designed to help you live past 100" in this economy?
#like literally after idk 80 or so wyd. my body already hurts at age 26 i imagine it gets significantly worse why would you want to prolong?#unfortunately my mother's side of the family is pretty long lived.... however my father did die early. maybe it will balance out#depends when the family aneurysm hits me ig#also like my whole childhood my mother was obsessed with Eating Healthy and longevity etc girl youre supposed to believe jesus is coming#in the next few years so why do you care about achieving old age 🤨 almost like that's an insane thing to believe#but growing up like that made me kind of blase about it i guess. and i kind of feel like most of the possibilities for living in old age are#.....not optimistic......particularly when youre not rich#and those possibilities do not seem to be improving#idk what my mother is going to do when she gets older shes made afaik zero plans for this on account of being certain that Jesus is Coming#any day now.#i'm certainly not going to be responsible for her or her shit idiot boyfriend so her best shot is my brother who has a better relationship#with her (not saying much) and obviously is more financially stable etc but like he has kids and a life lmao so idk#perhaps one day she will consider that the lord is not descending from the clouds in her lifetime but i'm not counting on it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i understand my brother tried to talk to her about it once and she refused to discuss it lmao like ok deny your mortality at your leisure#death will wait. :)#me
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i think jashtober will be good for my art. i've never finished more than 1 piece in a week and here i am now. i've already got two done, with shading and everything. look at me go
#it might just be bc drawing with my phone is WAY easier than with a computer so i'm able to draw things faster and better#but still. i'm happy with myself#here's to being optimistic for the rest of the month and hopefully not getting burnt out 👍#ethan's yapping again
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i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!
#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this#i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked#so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage#could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better#my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real#otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking#spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc#what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active#so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible#without spiking my hr to zone 4#so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything#i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards#outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is#i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me#based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not#some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works#but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again#because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now#i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog#but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less#i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis#so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important#this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty#shit talking
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hey! just wanted to let you know your sims and their story and stuff is like so cool to me. i know it can be nerve-wracking to post things but if you're worried cause you don't think it's good enough, just remember you're always gonna be more critical towards things you've made but that doesn't mean they're bad. i really love your renders and they're so pretty and cool!! sending some love your way!! because you're really cool!!! <3
(sorry if my wording's at all weird, i'm running on minimal sleep lmao)
aaaah thank you so so so much<3<3 the fact that my characters and writing is involved just makes it a thousand times more nerve-racking because i do take that more seriously than a render, plus the fact that these story posts take much longer to make and the lighting is a lot more difficult for some reason, idk lmao. hopefully when?? if?? i get more into it it won't be as bad as it is right now because it's like i'm-going-to-throw-up anxiety lmao
#i don't think these story posts renders are really even close to my standalone renders in terms of quality and it really is bothering me#but it's very different so i feel like if i can just get used to it it'll get there eventually#this turned into a very rambly vent lmao sorryyyyyyy#i'm trying to be optimistic though i THINK it's going to get better. i HOPE it will because i have a lot of fun making the posts#i love sharing my characters in an actual writing format like. talking about them is one thing#actually showing them like?? in action?? speaking with their own words?? is another#ask
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Yo normalmente: La gente que cita a Bodoque son tan chatos. "No soy pesimista soy optimista bien informado" ya callate Nietzsche.
Yo cuando tengo un mal día: Creo que fue el muy sabio Juan Carlos Bodoque quien dijo: "me quiero matar."
#translation of the post in the tags for my lovely mutuals:#me normally: people who quote Bodoque are annoying as Hell. 'I'm not a pessimist I'm a learned optimist' stfu Nietzsche.#me when I have a bad day: I believe it was the wise Juan Carlos Bodoque who said: 'I wanna kill myself.'#some things are just better expressed in spanish srry#anyway i was gonna main tag this but im gonna get tons of angry individuals in the notes if i do#because everyone loves that one quote#but i don't i think it's annoying#so this is just gonna sit in my blog now
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-randomly sees a screenshot of jamie and lily from the city of bones movie, where they seem to embody jace and clary, and am once again sad that we didn't get a city of ashes movie-
#like. to be clear. i KNOW that the city of bones movie has flaws--and i can tell you what they all are--but for me at least the positives#outweigh the negatives#and one of those things is that the cast really was perfect imo (and a lot of other people's opinions too)#though that's not to insult the shadowhunters cast at all of course. i think they're great and did the best with what they were give#i. personally. just don't really like shadowhunters because of how much they changed from the books#and even outside of that--if i ignored book to show comparisons--at least with the first season (the only one i watched) a lot of the#choices they were making with their own rules they were making didn't make a lot of sense. though i hear it gets better if season one so#maybe i should give it another chance sometime...#but back to city of ashes... i feel like. if city of bones had done well. city of ashes could have been better than city of bones and even#more book accurate (since that was some fans' issues with the first film) since the studio would have realized there was an audience there#and to take it more seriously. we've seen that kind of thing before. like with how the twilight movies actually became more book accurate#after the first film was a success#though that's not the world we live in of course. -sighs- oh well#maybe someday we'll get a really good and accurate tmi adaptation#i'm also looking forward to/cautiously optimistic about the the infernal devices show. PLEASE don't mess it up. PLEASE#that's my--and many--fans' favorite of the shadow world series. and it could/should be SO good. PLEASE!
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// Hello everyone! The time has finally come once again: I’m done with the semester and free from exams!
I’ll be gradually returning to activity here as well as resuming work on threads. My efforts are going to be divided between a variety of hobbies besides writing that I've also been neglecting, as well as working on some life habits, so this might be a steady but slow improvement. That being said I expect that the sheer stress that's been lifted from my shoulders is going to make a substantial difference in my ability to do things here.
I've mentioned before that I wanted to review my list of mutuals, and that's still the intention, but before taking that measure I want to get a better understanding of what my energy and mood for RP is right now. I want to test how comfortable I am in this blog and the dash without the outside influence of studying impacting my experience.
I hope you're all doing okay, and if not, I hope your next days are brighter :]
#ooc#I am so happy and relieved to be done with it#the massive contrast between me today VS me a couple of days ago in terms of mood and behavior#tells me that I've still got a lot to improve in terms of how I handle studies and other things#but we're working on it and that's what matters. I'm getting to understand myself better#and learning strategies to fight my bad tendencies and difficulties#anyways I'm excited to pick this blog up again. Summer heat does funky things to my focus so I have to look out for that#but I'm feeling optimistic#as for reviewing my mutuals list I want to give priority to those who actively show interest in what I do#and have gone out of their way to keep in touch keep plots going etc#which I think I've already been doing to be fair#nothing wrong with anyone who hasn't of course. We all have our stuff going on and I understand that#part of the reason for the mutual cleanup is also having more energy to be proactive myself. Approach those who haven't been able to
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Ah, I remember this. Self projection in both I see.
"Can you stop being so optimistic? Everything is going to shit! Nothing is okay, so stop being so cheery! Some of us have trauma and didn't grow up in a protective bubble. Just stop being a fucking child." "...You know what?" "What?" "Fuck you." "You don't get to control how I react to things. I'm trying my best to keep myself sane because I know how fucking messed up everything is right now. I know. You think I want to deal with your constant complaining? Your constant pessimistic view on the world that you keep calling realist? I don't. But I deal with it because it's something you use as a way to cope. So I keep my mouth shut. Just like you should. I don't live in a fucking protective bubble, I never have. I just find it useless to make my problems other people's problems. Just because you don't know the road I took to get here doesn't mean they weren't difficult roads. I don't have to explain my past for you to respect me. So like I said before. Fuck you."
This was just a vent I think but I think it would be cool to add into an original. I kind of already know what story I'd want to include it in. Hmm...
#I used to be so bitter - I still get that way from time to time - but I try to let it go because I was never happy in that time#I hated everything including my happiness#I think I was called out about being so shitty for no reason and I got so angry because I felt as if my constant negativity was justified#Sure I could feel however I wanted but making others feel like me was wrong#I am very glad I snapped out of that pessimistic person#I'm not overly optimistic but when things are shitty sometimes you need that joy to keep going#It's so much better than spite#I can produce my own happiness I had to wait for the spite and I never felt satisfied#It'll be fun working this into a story - if I remember lol#Writing
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sequel to my last piece because my mood did its swing back again.
#Ford's Art#my art#color says shit#I would have rathered use marker for the whole thing but I don't have any marker color except black so I made do with colored pencil#I legit haven't used my colored pencils in so long#I just sharpened a colored pencil for the first time in like.. five years maybe?#anyway I'm not happy with how it turned out because of course any art with a positive message comes out less good#I'm so much better at drawing ugly. I'm better at drawing monsters. I'm better at drawing sad.#doesn't mean I'm not gonna give it a shot when I get inspired to draw something optimistic instead#my grasp of metaphor and subtlety is ass I know that. it's whatever#scrolling down to this is just 'yeah that's cool' -> 'hmmm. not very good'#but I'm allowed to draw stupid things with colored pencils. it's free and no one can stop me.#it's not free technically. but all my art stuff is stuff that's over five years old that I got as gifts. it was free for me
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