#so I thought hey I'll paint them and that'll make me feel better

[running-in-the-dark]

super annoying how breathing always feels weird/harder after I paint my nails. don't think that used to happen but oh well whatever

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Eddie Munson's royal scandal

Written for @astrangersummer, week 15

Words: 1,633 (also on AO3)

Prompt: Royal and/or Modern AU

Relationship: Steve/Eddie

Rated: T

Tags: Modern AU; Royal AU; Rock star Eddie; Royal Steve; Secret relationship; Fluff and angst

Notes: Previous part | Part 1

The fucking photo is everywhere. 

Eddie knows he should stop checking, should probably delete all his social media accounts and drop his phone in the ocean, maybe throw himself right after. Maybe he would, if that would change anything. He groans, slamming the phone down on the table and burying his face in his hands. 

They've been so careful, and for what? 

One second of weakness, one stolen moment by the backstage entrance of Eddie’s last gig, and everything is falling to pieces. He should’ve known better. You're never really alone, no matter how safe you deem yourself. Steve even less than Eddie. 

“I mean, not to be a smartass,” Chrissy’s voice pulls him from his thoughts. She's seated on the opposite side of his kitchen table, laptop in front of her. “But you do realize you could've just waited until you got to your hotel room?�� 

Eddie stops pulling at his own hair to give her a tired look. 

“I missed him, okay? Between my Europe tour and his stupid state visit to Asia, it was the first time in months that we saw each other. It was literally just one kiss.” 

Chrissy gives him a look.

“Eddie, I love you,” she says flatly. “But it looks like you're trying to suck out his tonsils with your tongue.” 

Eddie’s forehead joins the phone on the table. 

“I know,” he groans. “Fuck. What do we do now, Chris?” 

She doesn’t answer right away, and that scares him more than anything. Chrissy always knows what to do.

“Maybe it won't be as bad,” she says, but she doesn’t sound convinced. “I mean the picture is quite grainy. You're pretty recognizable with your stage outfit and the tattoos, but Steve? He could be just some guy, really.”

“Yeah, no,” Eddie huffs, picking up his phone again. His private messages are blowing up, but he doesn’t find it in himself to open them. “Have you met those royal fangirls? Batshit crazy, man. They have the shape of his moles memorized and all.” 

“You have the shape of his moles memorized,” Chrissy provides. 

Eddie glowers at her, and her face goes soft.

“Hey,” she says, shutting her laptop and taking his hand. “We'll figure it out, I promise. I know it looks bad now, but-” 

She's interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. 

“That'll be the pizza,” she smiles. “I'll get it, you stay seated. Let's talk about this after dinner, I'm sure things will look a lot less dire on a full stomach.”

Eddie has half a mind to ask her how pizza is supposed to fix a single one of their problems. But he knows she's only trying to help, so he doesn’t say anything and shoots her a tight smile as she flounces out. 

The door opens.

“Oh, hi,” Chrissy says, and Eddie knows from the way her voice goes strained that it's not the pizza. “Eddie didn't mention you were- hey, wait, you can't just-” 

Eddie is already out of his chair and halfway around the table when Hopper comes stomping into the kitchen. He looks intimidating as ever in his shades and dark suit with the royal sigil pinned to the lapel. Today, he's also looking particularly pissed. 

“You!” he barks as soon as he spots Eddie. “You're coming with me. Move.” 

Behind him, Chrissy hovers in the doorway, wide-eyed and pale. 

“I can't,” Eddie says lamely. “I have pizza on the way.” 

Hopper looks at him like he's silently regretting all career choices that have led him to this moment.

“What you have,” he says,” is an appointment at the palace. Now c’mon, or you're paying for my parking ticket.” 

*

Eddie hasn't been to the palace more than a few times, and as on all of his previous visits, the paintings and the chandeliers and the gold and brocade of it all make him feel uncomfortable and on edge. So what if he's been secretly dating the crown prince right under the nose of the public for months? He's still allowed to think that the exaggerated splendor surrounding everything royal is a remnant of a long dead feudal system and a waste of tax money with no place in the modern world. It's called nuance, thank you very much.

Hopper nudges him into a lavish salon or drawing room or whatever the fuck they're called - one with a crackling fire and plush armchairs and a small fortune in antiques lining the walls - and wordlessly pulls the door shut behind him. In one of the chairs, gazing at his phone, side profile lit by the golden firelight, is Steve. 

“Remember all those times Munson said fuck the monarchy?” he says without looking up. It takes Eddie a very confused second to realize he's reading from the comments under the damned photo. “Never realized he meant that literally. Charming. They even got creative with the emoji, look.” 

He flips the phone around. Eddie sinks into the armchair across from him and winces. “I know, I know. So, on a scale from one to ten, how bad is it?” 

“Hm?” Steve says. He's in jeans and a cable-knit sweater, thin wire frame glasses perched on his nose. He looks utterly biteable. Except that's what got them into this mess in the first place. “Oh, very bad. Apparently, you've brainwashed me with some sort of satanic magic to overthrow the monarchy. Either that, or this is a slandering campaign against you, involving a carefully picked doppelganger and-” 

“Steve,” Eddie groans. 

Steve finally lowers the phone, putting it down on the small side table sitting between them and folding his hands in his lap. 

“Eddie,” he says. 

Eddie winces. He knows this tone, this aloof, barely interested drawl. Knows the way Steve holds himself - spine straight, shoulders slightly pulled back, chin up. Eyes so much dimmer than what he's used to. Distant and detached.

This isn't Steve. It's Prince Steven. 

Eddie hoped he'd never have to see the fucker again. 

There's a pile of documents lying on the stupid, fancy side table, right next to the phone. Eddie squints at them, catching the royal sigil at the top, the words non-disclosure agreement below, and his stomach fills with lead. When he manages to speak, his voice sounds hollow in his ears.

“So this is it, huh?” 

Steve sighs. “Father would've loved to speak to you personally.”

The heavy, molten thing in Eddie’s guts twists. 

“Would he now?” he grits out, trying to match Steve’s bored tone and knowing he's failing. Unlike some people, he hasn't been drilled into burying his feelings under a layer of ice all his life. 

Steve nods.

“He had more important things to attend to, though” he says. “Instead, he told me to have you sign this.” 

“Did he now?” Eddie says. It comes out hollow, words snagging in a too-dry throat. 

Steve picks up the documents, leafing through the smooth, white pages. Even the fucking paper is fancy in this place.

“He's instructed our PR team to get me a watertight alibi for the night of the concert. Said we'd deny any acquaintance with you. Forbid you from ever so much as speaking my name in public. I told him to go fuck himself.” 

“Did you no- … Wait, what?” 

Eddie snaps his head up just in time to see how Steve tosses the papers into the fire. The rage on that pretty face is pure, unbridled and undisguised, and Eddie’s heart tugs painfully in his chest. 

“I'm not gonna put a muzzle on you. You can damn well say whatever you want about me. I trust you, and that won't change. Not even if you don't want to continue this-” 

“Woah, woah, wait,” Eddie blurts. “Hold on a sec. You think I'm breaking up with you?” 

Steve blinks at him. “Um, yes? Are you not?”

Eddie can't stop the laugh that bubbles out of him. The weight that has been tearing at his insides ever since the damn photo dropped is gone. He feels like he needs to tether himself to something or he'll float off towards the ugly painted ceiling with the chubby, winged babies. 

“No, you stupid dickhead,” he says, and finally, finally takes Steve's hand in his. “I thought you were breaking up with me.” 

Steve gapes at him. “Why would I- … I'd never do that!” 

“Well, good,” Eddie says. “Cause neither would I.” 

Steve chews on his bottom lip, hope and doubt warring in those lovely eyes of his. 

“I don't think you understand what's at stake here,” he mutters. “If we make this public, it'll be the greatest scandal this country has seen in decades. The press will be all over us, your fans will hate you, my family will tell you to give up your career, they'll-” 

“Honey,” Eddie interrupts him, not bothering to hide the grin that's threatening to split his face in half. “If there's two things you should know about me by now, it's these. One, I'm terrible at taking instructions. And two, I don't give a rat's ass about what anyone thinks about me.” 

Steve's eyes are large and round behind his glasses, but Eddie imagines the hope is winning over the doubt. 

“I wanna be with you,” he says, squeezing Steve’s fingers a little tighter. “And to be frank, I think the system could do with a good shaking-up. Don't you agree?” 

Steve snorts a reluctant laugh, and his entire face lights up with it. “You can say that again.” 

Eddie thinks he's never seen anything as beautiful as Steve’s smile as he slowly lifts their entwined hands to his lips. 

“If it's a scandal they want,” he murmurs, holding Steve's gaze and pressing a long, lingering kiss to his knuckles, “I say let's give them a scandal to remember.” 

[zorilleerrant]

I like to think that Rose makes fake infomercials for all of her products, and has roped all of her family, friends, and neighbors into making them. which means, eventually, The Doctor gets tapped to star in one, where he gamely holds up toys and talks about their fantastic qualities. now he's pretty charismatic, and he loves teddy bears and all, so I think he'd get very enthusiastic about this, and become very popular all over the internet.

so we know he always calls himself The Doctor, even in contexts where it doesn't make sense, but in a channel of fake toy infomercials (with real handmade toys to buy) I don't think people would question it too much. they even get him to say "trust me, I'm The Doctor" and other catchphrases like that by leaving comments. he develops a cult following, and, owing to this, Rose puts him in even more videos and gets him to talk up all of her most popular products. she's doing great business out of all this.

one time, he tries to show off a talking bear. the bear says something normal, like "I love you", but it's advertised with the ability to email Rose your own audio files and she'll record them for the bear. except this one doesn't turn on immediately - so The Doctor has to sonic it better. works pretty quickly, the bear starts playing music, and he goes, see, what a fascinating product! which, of course, makes the bear very popular after the video goes viral. what else does it do? well it makes people want his sonic screwdriver.

now I don't think almost anyone thinks it's an actual device, they think he was just being funny, but it means that Rose gets to design a whole bunch of novelty penlights and they start selling really well, too. (just cheap bulk ones and she sculpts decorations onto them, well within her wheelhouse.) and The Doctor, by popular demand, starts using them to give the plushies 'checkups' and make sure they're all feeling their best.

so, because he does silly little skits like that, and he's called The Doctor, people think he's a toy doctor, and start sending in their dolls and bears and toy cars and everything to get patched up. Rose can do that easily; that's the same sewing, stuffing, painting, etc. that she's already been doing when she makes things by hand. maybe she learns some new techniques, which I think she'd be excited to try, but most things I think would be very quick repairs and send all the toys home happy and healthy. except it's odd that it's happening so much, because no one has put together that people think The Doctor is, like, The Toy Doctor yet.

but The Doctor has also noticed this influx of orders and is all, well, if people are going to be sending so many in anyway we might as well add a separate order form, and while we're at it let's make our own site, that'll be cheaper and more convenient. and Rose is all do you even know anyone who can make a website because all my friends are, no offense, kind of bad at it, and you shouldn't believe them when they say they know how. and The Doctor's like of course I know someone, it's Mickey.

and Mickey's like, oh sure, I'll do you a favor, and drops by the house to help set up Rose's website because he wants to install some design software for her to make it easier to do mockups and such, and he gets to explaining, and then The Doctor finally comes home, and at first Mickey's like, hey, and keeps explaining, but then he finally looks at The Doctor and he's like. why do you have a different face that's the same face that I thought you already didn't have anymore, and The Doctor has to explain.

and then Mickey's like. I thought you lived with Martha now and also what happened to the version of you who looks like me, did you just abandon Martha? and The Doctor's like. I don't think that part has happened for me yet it's probably yet another version of The Doctor who isn't really The Doctor but just looks exactly the same because that's happened really a lot of times now. or else it's a future version of me! and Mickey is like. right well enjoy your website

and then Rose asks Mickey to do infomercials for her toys and since Mickey thinks the toy monsters are really cool he's very enthusiastic about them and then his videos go viral too

also Mickey is the only one who realized why people think he's The Toy Doctor and has to explain about toy hospitals

[walkingtalkingsomething]

✨Taylor Swift Makes Everything Better Lyric Prompts✨

It's exactly what the title says. I find song lyrics in general very inspiring and have a notebook of ones that strike me for one reason or another but don't have the 'whatever' that's needed to write them. And I unapologetically stan the hell out of Ms. Swift and am so often struck by her word choices. So this is my collection of the TS lyrics that conjure up the most thoughts - minus a ton of sad ones because I am just too soft to be putting that much angst into the world 😊

Taylor Swift

•He's the song in the car I keep singin', Don't know why I do - Teardrops on My Guitar

•He's the time taken up but there's never enough and he's all that I need to fall into - Teardrops on My Guitar

•I'm taking pictures in my mind so I can save them for a rainy day - Stay Beautiful

•It's hard to make a conversation when he's taking my breath away - Stay Beautiful

•Take me back to the creek beds, We turned up 2am darlin' in your truck and all I need is you next to me - Mary's Song (my My My)

•Friday night beneath the stars in a field behind your yard, You and I are painting pictures in the sky, And sometimes we don't say a thing, Just listen to the crickets sing, Everything I need is right here by my side - I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Fearless (TV)

•And as we walked we were talking and I didn't say half the things I wanted to - Hey Stephen

•The way you walk, Way you talk, Way you say my name, It's beautiful, Wonderful, Don't you ever change - Hey Stephen

•They're dimming the street lights, You're perfect for me, Why aren't you here tonight? I'm waiting alone now so come on and come out - Hey Stephen

•Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me? - You Belong With Me

•Never wanted this, Never wanna see you hurt, Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve - Breathe

•And you were wild and crazy, Just so frustrating, Intoxicating, Complicated, Got away by some mistake and now... - The Way I Loved You

•Don't know how long it's going to take to feel ok, But I know I had the best day with you today - The Best Day

•I like the way I can't keep my focus, I watch you talk, You didn't notice, I hear the words but all I can think is we should be together - Jump Then Fall

•Well I like the way your hair falls in your face, You got the keys to me, I love each freckle on your face, I've never been so wrapped up, Honey I like the way you're everything I ever wanted - Jump Then Fall

•I had time to think it over and all I can say is come closer, Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me - Jump Then Fall

•The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry but I'll hold you through the night until you smile - Jump Then Fall

•Untouchable, Burning brighter than the sun, And when you're close I feel like coming undone - Untouchable

•In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream it's like a million little stars spelling out your name/In the middle of the night waking from this dream, I wanna feel you by my side standing next to me - Untouchable

•I'll leave my window open because I'm too tired at night to call your name, Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain - Come In With the Rain

•I said, 'Leave,' but all I really want is you to stand outside my window throwin' pebbles, Screamin', 'I'm in love with you,' - The Other Side of the Door

Speak Now (TV)

•And you stood there in front of me just close enough to touch, Close enough to hope you couldn't see what I was thinking of - Sparks Fly

•Drop everything now, Meet me in the pouring rain, Kiss me on the sidewalk, Take away the pain 'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile - Sparks Fly

•Get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down, Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around - Sparks Fly

•And lead me up the staircase, Won't you whisper soft and slow, 'I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show' - Sparks Fly

•Maybe this is wishful thinkin', Probably mindless dreamin', But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right - Back to December

•I'm scared to see the ending, Why are we pretending this is nothing? I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how, I've never heard silence quite this loud - The Story of Us

•This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less, But I liked it better when you were on my side - The Story of Us

•This night is sparkling, Don't you let it go, I'm wonderstruck, Blushing all the way home/This night is flawless, Don't you let it go, I'm wonderstruck, Dancing 'round all alone - Enchanted

•Please don't be in love with someone else, Please don't have somebody waiting on you - Enchanted

•Your hands are tough but they are where mine belong - Ours

•Got a feeling your electric touch could light this ghost town up with life - Electric Touch

•When Emma falls in love it's all on her face, Hangs in the air like stars in outer space - When Emma Falls in Love

•Emma met a boy with eyes like a man, Turns out her heart fits right in the palm of his hand, Now he'll be her shelter when it rains, Little does he know his whole world's about to change - When Emma Falls in Love

•Pass me a note saying, 'Meet me tonight', Then we kiss and you know I won't ever tell, And I can see you being my addiction, You can see me as your secret mission, Hide away and I will start behaving myself - I Can See You

Red (TV)

•You come around and the armor falls, Pierce the room like a cannonball, Now all we know is don't let go - State of Grace

•We are alone just you and me, Up in your room and our slates are clean - State of Grace

•These are the hands of fate, You're my Achilles heel, This is the golden age of something good and right and real - State of Grace

•Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you, Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song - Red

•Put your lips close to mine as long as they don't touch, Out of focus, Eye to eye, 'Til the gravity's too much - Treacherous

•And I'll do anything you say if you say it with your hands - Treacherous

•I can't decide if it's a choice getting swept away, I hear the sound of my own voice asking you to stay - Treacherous

•Two headlights shine through the sleepless night and I will get you alone, Your name has echoed through my mind and I just think you should know that nothing safe is worth the drive and I would follow you home - Treacherous

•'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night, We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light - All Too Well

•You took the time to memorize me, My fears, My hopes and dreams, I just like hanging out with you all the time, All those times that you didn't leave it's been occurring to me I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life - Stay Stay Stay

•Find myself at your door just like all those times before, I'm not sure how I got there, All roads, They lead me here - The Last Time

•I imagine you are home in your room all alone, And you open your eyes into mine and everything feels better - The Last Time

•In dreams I meet you in warm conversations - Sad Beautiful Tragic

•'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello", And your eyes look like comin' home, All I know is a simple name and everything has changed - Everything Has Changed

•Come back and tell me why I'm feelin' like I've missed you all this time, And meet me there tonight and let me know that it's not all in my mind - Everything Has Changed

•The delicate beginning rush, The feeling you can know so much without knowing anything at all, And now that I can put this down, If I had known what I know now I never would've played so nonchalant - Come Back...Be Here

•If I was standin' there in your apartment I'd take that bomb in your head and disarm it, I'd say I love you even at your darkest and please don't go - Forever Winter

•There's a chain 'round your throat, Piece of paper where I wrote, "I'll wait for you", There's a key on the chain, There's a picture in a frame, Take it with you/And the note from the locket, You keep it in your pocket since I gave it to you, There's a heart on your sleeve, I'll take it when I leave and hold it for you - Run

1989 (TV)

•And I wish you knew that I miss you too much to be mad anymore - I Wish You Would

•He's so tall and handsome as hell, He's so bad but he does it so well - Wildest Dreams

•I said, 'No one has to know what we do,' His hands are in my hair, His clothes are in my room, And his voice is a familiar sound - Wildest Dreams

•You'll see me in hindsight, Tangled up with you all night, Burning it down - Wildest Dreams

•Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend - Wildest Dreams

•Broke your heart, I'll put it back together, I would wait forever and ever - How You Get The Girl

•Lantern burning, Flickered in the night for only you - This Love

•In losing grips on sinking ships, You showed up just in time - This Love

•This love left a permanent mark, This love is glowing in the dark - This Love

•You're still all over me like a wine stained dress I can't wear anymore - Clean

•Didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me - Wonderland

•One look, Dark room, Meant just for you, Time moved too fast, You play it back - You Are In Love

•No proof, Not much, But you saw enough/No proof, One touch, But you felt enough - You Are In Love

•You keep his shirt, He keeps his word - You Are In Love

•One night he wakes, Strange look on his face, Pauses then says, 'You're my best friend.' - You Are In Love

•Got love-struck, Went straight to my head, Got lovesick all over my bed, Love to think you'll never forget - Slut!

•Adorned with smoke on my clothes, Lovelorn and nobody knows, Love thorns all over this rose - Slut!

•And I break down, Then he's pulling me in, In a world of boys he's a gentleman - Slut!

•When you hold me it holds me together and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever - Suburban Legends

•"Come here," I whispered in your ear in your dream as you passed out - Is It Over Now?

•Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs and my whispered sighs - Is It Over Now?

•Oh Lord, I think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing I've been wanting - Is It Over Now?

Reputation

•And I can't let you go, Your hand prints on my soul, It's like your eyes are liquor, It's like your body is gold - End Game

•My name is whatever you decide and I'm just gonna call you 'Mine' - Don't Blame Me

•Echos of your name inside my mind, Halo hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I'm your daisy - Don't Blame Me

•And baby for you I would fall from grace just to touch your face, If you walk away I'd beg you on my knees to stay - Don't Blame Me

•I get so high everytime you're loving me, Trip of my life everytime you're touching me - Don't Blame Me

•Long night with your hands up in my hair, Echos of your footsteps on the stairs, Stay here honey I don't wanna share - Delicate

•Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine all the damn time - Delicate

•Salute to me, I'm your American queen and you move to me like I'm a Motown beat and we rule the kingdom inside my room - King of My Heart

•And all at once you are the one I have been waiting for - King of My Heart

•Is this the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending with all these nights we're spending up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush, Drinking beer out of plastic cups, Say you fancy me not fancy stuff - King of My Heart

•There is an indentation in the shape of you, Made your mark on me, A golden tattoo - Dress

•All of this silence and patience, Pining and anticipation, My hands are shaking from holding back from you - Dress

•Say my name and everything just stops, I don't want you like a best friend - Dress

•Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try, And if I get burned at least we were electrified - Dress

•I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, You kiss my face and we're both drunk - Dress

•And I woke up just in time, Now I wake up by your side, My one and only, My lifeline - Dress

•All my flowers grew back as thorns, Windows boarded up after the storm, He built a fire just to keep me warm - Call It What You Want

•I'm laughing with my lover, Making forts under covers, Trust him like a brother, Yeah, You know I did one thing right, Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night - Call It What You Want

•I recall late November, Holding my breath, Slowly I said, 'You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?' - Call It What You Want

•Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere - New Year's Day

Part. 2

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

A mess

Bea: Hey Bea: Soooo how'd you do end of term? You've finished now too, yeah? Fraze: I did well enough. No doubt you did too. Fraze: Yeah I'm done too Bea: 👏 Congrats! Yeah got a first on my big project, thank God, worked hard enough Bea: Off celebrating tonight then? What you up to? Fraze: Cheers. Nicely done, babe. Knew you would Fraze: 'Course. Whole group of us heading out on a crawl soon. What plans are worthy of a first then? I dread to think Bea: Thanks 🙂 Bea: That'll be fun, probably avoid the mongrel or go there first before the real carnage, ay? Bea: Well, trying to organise something worthwhile but everyone's being useless Bea: I'll make something happen on my own if not, I guess...What else is a girl to do, like? Fraze: No need to thank me, you put the work in as per. Fraze: It's first stop, gotta get all the free drinks flowing in my honor. Charity ain't gonna extend any further and I'm in my overdraft Fraze: If anyone can you'll figure it out, give your brain a final go before the blow out Bea: Not that my victory laps can extend as far as home Bea: Still so much to do, not sure if I'll fit in a flight back, like Bea: Ahh, tis what the overdraft was made for 😉 if it helps ease your pain, sure I'll be buying my own tonight as well 😒 hard old life init Fraze: Can't get the staff. Fraze: Yeah, I should've reckoned on coming your way though, yeah? Begging and borrowing'll be a real fucking mare Fraze: You can do a few days can't you? Work on the flight like Bea: Don't worry about it, there's no need it'll be School's out for Summer next time, so obviously I can be back then, at least for some of it Bea: Enjoy your freedom Bea: Even if it is on limited fundzzz, sure you won't let that stop you Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Goes without saying Fraze: don't put yourself out and I won't worry Bea: What, d'you wanna come and watch me work? You'll be so bored Bea: I'm doing you a favour, trust Fraze: Sounds like it Fraze: Cheers for that Bea: You're welcome Bea: I'd just be knackered, the train to London is bad enough Fraze: Fair enough. Always doing that though, aren't ya? Say hi to Joe for me next time, make it really worth while trip Bea: If I see him, I will Bea: I've not got any friends in Dublin Bea: Hardly think you or your friends want me gatecrashing your plans Bea: think what that'd do for your street cred 😂 Fraze: oh yeah a hot girl on my arm would proper tank it Bea: Would with the other hot girls Bea: Unless homewrecking is their game and I'm not feeling being a party to that Fraze: I don't play games with them so I could care less Fraze: You know I'd survive no need to use me as an excuse for not showing up Bea: How thoughtful of you Bea: Such a gent Bea: It isn't an excuse, though like I want to come back and see that Bea: Can take a look at my syllabus if you don't believe me, fucking hell Fraze: They know what they're getting, so do you Fraze: We've all got shit to do, Bea Fraze: I'm making time to have this convo right now, aren't I? Bea: Excuse me for pointing out I got a shittier deal Bea: Shut up and take it, yeah? I don't think so Bea: No one is making you, I was just making conversation or is that off the cards too now Bea: Okay, good to know Fraze: We made this deal together, don't act like I fucking forced you Fraze: You said yourself that Dublin is shitty for you so how exactly are you the martyr here, living it up in London? Fraze: Don't start, you know exactly what I was trying to say and it ain't that. Fraze: We're both busy, we both wanna pass, if you wanna see me then do Fraze: If you don't, just say it instead of wasting my time Bea: Well, its a good thing we're both getting an education now, isn't it? Bea: You act like I'm there all the time, I hardly ever go out, not like you; one rule for you another for me! Bea: Its not about want, is it Bea: and I've said I can't already so, take that as your answer if you're going to be so pig-headed about it, Fraze Fraze: If you're gonna be such an idiot then yeah, it is. Fraze: I'm not some useless pisshead, but cheers for the vote of confidence Fraze: I don't go out half as much as I want, so nah, it clearly ain't Fraze: Fine. I'll head out now then, yeah? since you're done with me Bea: Don't call me an idiot Bea: Or put words in my mouth Bea: OR put that on me Bea: obviously Uni isn't one long party but that isn't my fucking fault Bea: nor am I saying you shouldn't be going out Bea: Do what you want Fraze: Unless what I want doesn't suit you Fraze: Cheers for the permission to go out though, ma, nice one Bea: Fuck you Bea: Want me to give you a fucking pat on the back for however many sluts you can fuck in a night? Nah Bea: You've got your mates for that Bea: Don't paint me out as some crazy over-protective bitch Bea: I don't have to like it, and I certainly don't have to hear about it Bea: How would you like it? Fraze: Fuck you Fraze: you're pissed at me for wanting to see you, pissed at me for seeing other girls, I can't fucking win with you Fraze: I ain't painting you any way, that's all you. Your words from your mouth Fraze: And I wasn't offering you a peek into my little black book either Fraze: I've never held that over you so you can fuck off for suggesting it Bea: Don't tell me you didn't say things when I can see them right there with my own eyes Bea: You called me your Mum, its hardly complementary Bea: Yeah, best kept secret Bea: That's healthy, that's fun Bea: for fuck's sake Fraze: You see what you wanna see, babe Fraze: It wasn't meant to be. But cheers for calling my ma a crazy bitch like Fraze: You've gotta even more a judgey know it all since you started hanging with that cambs lot, very healthy and fun that Bea: And you believe your own bullshit Bea: I'm not buying Bea: The comparison shouldn't ever enter your head, how fucked up are you? Jesus Christ Bea: Well if I'm so fucking awful why don't you just do it then Fraze: Better than believing yours right now Fraze: How fucked up are you? I was joking 'cause you love telling me what I can and can't do. End of Bea: I haven't told you once what to do Bea: but sure Bea: its all my fault Bea: so do it, stop being a pussy and do it Fraze: stop telling me what to do Fraze: Jesus Christ Bea: You want to Bea: so why don't you? Fraze: You have no fucking clue what I want Fraze: I told you and you still don't Fraze: why don't you listen Bea: well, distance and time apart will do that Bea: why don't you find someone who's clued in? Bea: another one, like Fraze: Fuck's sake, Bea Bea: Don't Fraze: One rule for me, one for you Fraze: Stop it Bea: No Bea: Its too late Fraze: It's not Bea: It is Bea: you're not going to do it so I have to Bea: or its just stalemate and who wants that? Fraze: Bea, don't Bea: S'no big deal, happens to everyone, right? Bea: who makes it nowadays Fraze: Us. We do Fraze: Just stop Bea: Only because I'm letting you cheat on me Bea: we're letting each other, whatever Bea: it shouldn't have to be like this Bea: you'd feel less guilty Fraze: It doesn't have to be like anything Bea: but it is Bea: and i'm sick of it Bea: i need a break Bea: i'm crazy you're right Fraze: I didn't mean that Bea: Regardless Bea: the shoe fits Fraze: It fits me too then, so fucking what? Bea: The what is a why...Why are we doing this to each other? Fraze: You know why Bea: Its hard Bea: and it doesn't make it any easier Fraze: I know Fraze: What do you want me to do? Bea: Be here now Bea: but you aren't, and you can't Fraze: I'll get on a plane right fucking now, then a train as many as it takes Bea: you can't always do that Bea: and shouldn't have to Bea: thought you didn't want to be told what to do? Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: I love you Bea: Promise? Fraze: On my life Bea: Don't Fraze: I do Bea: But don't on your life Bea: I love you too much Fraze: I have to. It's true and you have to know that Fraze: You are my life, Bea. That's it Bea: Exactly Bea: I was meant to let you have a life, have the uni/teenage experience whatever Bea: then see where we stood and I can't even do that Bea: still holding you back from here Fraze: No Fraze: Bullshit. You've never done that. I'm only here studying in the first place 'cause of you Bea: That's not true, you got in on your own merit, don't do yourself down Fraze: Yeah it is and you know that too Bea: Well, you're still passing now and I've been less than helpful Bea: its a miracle I am Fraze: This ain't cambridge, babe Fraze: Or architecture Fraze: You're smart, stop being an idiot. You don't need a miracle you just need to keep working like you have been Fraze: I've not helped with that Fraze: If you seriously want a break from me, say the word, yeah? But don't make it something it ain't. For me or you Bea: Its still an achievement, Cambridge is not the be all end all people make it out to be Bea: degrees a degree and its just a piece of paper that helps us get to where we want, fingers crossed still, like Bea: you should be proud, I am Bea: but I've not been working as hard as I should Bea: Like you said, I'm always in London Bea: that's the real waste... Fraze: You can do this. If you haven't been working hard enough go from now Fraze: There's so much time left Bea: I know but Bea: No Bea: I know Bea: I have to get my shit sorted Fraze: You and me both, babe Fraze: in it together, yeah? Same as always Bea: Yeah Bea: just don't fall in love with any of them okay Fraze: Okay Fraze: I won't if you don't either Bea: Not going to happen Bea: I can assure you Fraze: Good Bea: You idiot Fraze: You love it Bea: Must do Fraze: Go out tonight though, yeah? You deserve to celebrate Bea: Ha, s'not going to be much of a celebration Bea: Isn't like I'm surrounded by friends here either lol Bea: I'm clearly just not made for it, like Fraze: I'll trade you this shower of cunts if you like Fraze: not the be all and end all either I promise you Bea: I know its true, not as if I don't have the opportunities, I just can't fake interest or maintain something that doesn't feel worthwhile Bea: So, not technically missing out Bea: Just...must be nice to be normal Fraze: I'll let you know how it feels if I ever get there Fraze: fuck knows why you'd wanna be normal, everyone in cambs wants to be you babe Bea: Come on, you're normal Bea: Mr. Average in every sense of the word 😉 Bea: too soon to joke? Fraze: come on, you can do better than that Bea: Yeah, true Bea: Currently cussing out Ronnie too, taking up all my bitchy energies, she's needy like that Fraze: Give her a fuck off from me Bea: Its been heavily implied, and returned, naturally 🙄 Bea: Needs must and I need drugs so Fraze: Not enough in all of London to make her bearable Fraze: Fuck that Bea: Not inclined to disagree rn Bea: That's Friday nights for ya Bea: what would it be without the drama Fraze: better Fraze: you've gotta ditch that lot they're doing you no favors Bea: They aren't THAT bad Bea: I can handle them Bea: and myself, for that matter Fraze: I know you can Fraze: Shame they can't handle themselves Bea: Aww babe, they won't appreciate your concern Bea: I think its cute though Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: I'm not concerned I'm ashamed to have 'em on my radar Bea: Well, its not like you've gotta be seen with them Bea: or will be any time soon Bea: much to Charlie's dismay Fraze: Thank Christ Fraze: Watch you don't get seen with 'em too much Bea: I'll do my best to lose the paps that follow me everywhere I go then Bea: I'm sure worse happens under the watchful eye of campus police, I'm golden Fraze: Valid point Bea: I know what I'm doing, babe Fraze: Keep it that way then, yeah? Bea: Don't tell me what to do Bea: Ha Fraze: Hilarious Fraze: Don't tell me not to give a shit it's too late for that Bea: You're dramatic Bea: What do you take me for? Bea: Insulting Fraze: You said yourself you've gotta sort your shit out Bea: Charming Bea: You didn't have to be so ready to agree Bea: I'm not doing anything wrong Bea: Anything you don't do yourself Fraze: I'm just looking out for you, babe Bea: I don't need you to Bea: Thanks very much Fraze: Tell me something I don't know Fraze: I'm not saying you do Bea: Then why persist Fraze: You know that answer too Bea: I know what you'd say but I don't think I agree with your reasoning Fraze: Do or don't, it is what it is Bea: No, it isn't when its MY life Bea: I'm not a fucking pet project for you Fraze: Of course you're not Fraze: What are you getting mad at me for? Bea: Because I'm not a little girl who needs saving Bea: Fuck! Bea: Because that's all I am to you Bea: STILL Fraze: You've never been that to me Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: Bullshit Bea: Just keeping me around to fuel some kind of fucked up hero complex Fraze: You're the one chatting bullshit Fraze: For some who doesn't wanna be treated like a kid you're determined to act like one Bea: So clearly what you want Bea: Or you're just a prick talking down to me like I don't know life Bea: I know as much as you Bea: More Bea: Want to be clued in? Of course not, no one wants to hear that shit, not even my fucking 'hero' Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: You're a genius yeah? Happy now Bea: No Bea: Obviously not Fraze: Go get high then, that'll sort it Bea: Better than anything you've got to offer Fraze: Clearly Fraze: Don't let me keep you, off you fuck like Bea: Already am, don't flatter yourself that this was anything more than whiling away a train journey Fraze: Wouldn't dream of it, babe Bea: Sure we'll catch up next time I'm in town Bea: won't that be fun Fraze: Can't wait Bea: Toodles!