#smth about ''if she asks about me / tell her i'm not dead yet'' just HITS. IT F U C K S

[bananasofthorns]

save me not dead yet live save meeeee

[dino--draws]

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE NEARLY TWO HOUR ADMONITION + EXTRAS POWER POINT

I recorded it and me and my friends do wanna edit it and be silly w/ it so you may actually get to hear the presentation [and if you want the presentation itself just shoot me a dm on discord or smth] at some point but!

"Enter this freak! [image of McDoctorate]" "he looks like weird al.............."

"whats this guys name?" "FUNNY YOU ASK THAT [goes to slide that says 'whats this guys name?']"

"Damn! Sucks for Abbie, man I was invested." "I KNOW I WAS SO SAD SHE DIED." "This is a loss for women." "This was NOT a win for feminism."

"This is the REISNO Cannon!" "...thats a guy." "IGNORE THE GUY IGNORE THE GUY!"

"Failing to fulfil the causal loop causes a paradox. So let's cause a paradox! This is Dougall Deering, a bitchass motherfucker that nobody likes!"

"This is the significance of September 8th!" "...the queen......" "Queen Elizabeth died!! This isn't relevant!"

[Someone I do not know came in and sat down to listen for a bit]

"So you guys know Weirdmaggedon right?"

"And then the therapist dies and it all gets worse."

"So it'll come back, right? Right??? [long pause] There is no cannon." "Ha."

"So you may be wondering 'where the fuck did he go?' and now we finally get into Admonition."

"Because we can't use Narrative travel to jump genres we're writing the Fix-it Fic in the Hurt No Comfort AU. I don't know why I worded it like that in the slide." "That's my fault." "Nonono you're right there."

"They use it to terminate anomalies!!" "Not the ANTIKILL facility.........."

"It was all going dandy and functional until they did something stupid and hubris."

[Me calling the PH-GOS "the silly device"]

"Oh no! Who could've seen this coming!" cries the dumb fucks who should've realized this was an exercise in facility forty years ago."

[A second, new person appears to listen in]

"Say it with me now: YOU CAN'T KILL A LIZARD [several people do say it with me now]"

"Anti-idea???" "Yes, anti-idea."

"We're gonna PEMDAS the starfish!"

"Nice try guys, it didn't work but it wrote them a poem." "Awhhh,,"

"AND THEN THE UNIVERSE FUCKING ENDED!" "Oh it's over already?" "WOAAHHH"

"You may be wondering how the FUCK this is the first article in this series. Well you haven't seen NOTHIN' yet."

"I understand why this is making you insane." "Yeah no I get it."

"Is he [PHMD] a creative

"Director Johnathan King is fucking dead!" "Who??" "Don't worry about it he's not important." "He sounds like he is!" "The only thing you need to know is that he's dead."

"IS THAT JERMA?" "where?" "WHY IS JERMA THERE!" "THATS JERMA???" [me having to explain Jerma]

"Our budget took a hit! So we're gonna devote all resources to build this thing! For the budget!"

"Why are we doing this?" "Because we need to make a man un-die but no other necromancy is working."

"

"WHY IS HE A CAT??" "Don't worry about it." "These two don't have faceclaims to my knowledge so have Dir. Vehmoff looking at manga and catboy Dir. Asheworth (catboyism not relevant here, 120 directorism relevant here)." "He seems sad." "He is sad."

"SO ASHEWORTH ✨ EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATES ✨ HIM INTO VOTING IN X/MACHINA’S FAVOR USING HIS DEAD FRIEND AS LEVERAGE!" "whys theres a 50% opacity dog...." "don't worry about it!"

"If this man says it's safe, I don't know what else to tell you. DRAMATIC IRONY IS A LITERARY DEVICE IN WHICH--"

[Me going off script to briefly and VERY excitedly ramble about pataphysics]

[My one friend comparing generic vs protagonist vs archetypical to a/b/o and me threatening to end her life several times before moving on in the excited ramble and we all think its cool as fuck btw]

"I'm gonna read this [the 6747 imagion particles stuff] because I think it's cool and its my presentation."

"So? When's the other shoe gonna drop?" "Probably right now." "Yes!"

"So sometimes we taze it! Personnel are to be reminded that its totally dead and we totally aren’t lying to your face. The therapist we hired to taze the brain wants to be amnestizied of tazing the brain. We told her no. sorry Ngo." "Hah." "Ngo,,,,,,,,,"

"also his name is sparky...." "well thank god for that."

"It's becoming bad fanfiction." "They're all having sex." "No they're not, there's no sex in this." "We are reading very different bad fanfiction." "Yes we are!"

[My roommate googling 2747 bazongas]

"I wanna punt him [PHMD] like a football." "Good he deserves it."

"GET IN LOSER! We're killing gods!"

"What Dr. Blake is about to do has not been approved by the Vatican." [My friends loose their shit]

"That's right babey! It's the motherfucking starfish again!" "WHAT??" "Oh shit!!"

"PHMD’s plan is to create an Unbound Prometheus to help them find the God within the human mind. And not in the Frankenstein sense i mean he wants to unbind Prometheus and promote him as the God of Humanity. And everyone is just ok with this!?!?!?! [I am gesturing frantically and my voice is cracking like hell] Like they restructure the education system and everything to incorporate this and the Foundation starts to pray to Prometheus and all that???? its wild and so casually mentioned too, but here we go we’re doin this!!"

"oh my god he's the modern Prometheus." "HE'S THE MODERN PROMETHEUS!!!!"

"ignore the fact they've given people early onset dementia."

"the exhilaration of severing a finger from a squirming human hand (ie. transcendence). [Pause] WELL AIN'T THAT JUST PEACHY :D"

''that was the SHORT ONE?" "Short and sweet! Not simple and short." "Heeheheh, yeah."

"It's killing all AI!" "yaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!"

"SO NOW DISREGARD THAT LAST SLIDE! BECAUSE I LIED TO YOU!!" "why would you do that,,,?" "what????" "THERE'S NO VIRUS. IT'S ANOTHER GOD DAMN FOUNDATION MADE EIGENMACHINE. THE VIRUS IS A COVER UP." "why are you talking like a republican conspiracy theorist."

"That's really fucked up, thank you!" "ISN'T IT???"

"Please take note to behold the comedic amount of power that LOTUS needs."

"I love 28 nuclear reactors."

"So things go to shit pretty fast! Cause guess what? PHMD touched the damn machine."

"So yeah these guys have no right to be surprised when it starts interring all AI, even the most simplest of spellcheckers." "Not Grammarly!!!" "yup, LOTUS got it."

"isn't LOTUS itself an AI..?" [I turn my head slowly and grin at them in dead silence] "oh great thanks." "we'll get to that :) we'll get to that :)))"

"Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

"Problem solved, right? [next slide] SO EVERYTHING GETS IMMEDIATELY WORSE!!!!"

"Lunar Area-23 is gone." "THEY TOOK THE MOON??" "you know who else takes the moon? Gru." "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT."

[my friends horrified look as I describe Hishakaku's hostile takeover]

"He demoted him and erased his mind, because the Foundation can just do that, by the way." "Oh! :D Ok! :D"

"WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID IT GETS EVEN WORSE? Because I lied to you again!!! OCI does not stand for Obtuse Computation Interface. It stands for Organic Consciousness Interface. THAT'S RIGHT! HISHKAKAU WAS PUTTING BRAINS IN JARS!"

"Not Head of Disinformation that's craaazy," "Yeah they just have that." "I wanna be CEO of lying."

"Wow fuck this guy."

[My one friend making a rainbow dash jar joke like right before the slide that has the rainbow dash jar joke]

"LOTUS is flipping its shit."

"THINGS ARE FINALLY DONE GETTING WORSE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!" "Woah!" "No :D!"

[group cackling at Hishakaku's takedown]

"Why'd they do that???" "because they're fucking fascists!!"

"Oh and by the way the remains of LOTUS have been salvaged for Project ADMONITION." "Ggrrrreeat!!"

"Admonition Episode 5, SCP-7243, Existential Abatement." "I like that its gay :}" "It IS gay!"

"What if the timeloop happened in June."

"He also shows Ngo -- the therapist who was tazing the brain earlier you remember her? -- the item he wanted to give Phillip. A magic box, that makes it seem like the object you’ve put in it vanishes. But there’s no magic at all, just a drawer, just a trick." "Oh boy" "Nnnnnno way." "Wow isn’t that a specific detail I sure hope that isn’t a framing device."

"Dougall asks Amelia what the hell he should do. She tells him three words--" "kill yourself." "No more wast-- no."

"Esoteric waste???" "sent it into space." "we can't do that :("

"You killed my husband." "Yeah that's an actual line in the article." "SDKFJSHDKHFD"

"Oh right yeah there's an SCP object in this article."

[my friends thinking DePLExA is really cool]

[Me pausing for two seconds each time 'waste' pops up]

"They are dumping empty containers into an empty pit. Because if they don’t it’ll cause a paradox. [Pause] You ready to cause another parado-- hold your conceptual horses actually because there's more to explain."

"Esoteric gift horses and their non-existent mouths."

"AND THEN IT ALL GOES TO SHIT! [to the tune of 'and then along came zeus']

"Wait September 8th again??" "It's fucking happening again."

"A magnitude 8.5 earthquake hits." "Ttttttthats not good."

[My friends mounting horror as I just read through the EE-7243 event entirely]

"So it was like putting a lid on a burning pan. But the burning pan is an acromatic abatement facility about to esoterically explode and the lid is a bomb that creates a forcefield"

"Oh hey! We found Amelia!" "Oh!!!" "She's not ok, but she's alive!" "That's a lot!!!" "yeah!!!"

[periodic sounds of me excitedly stimming while talking]

"We're living out of spite!" "that's soooooooooo real," "she's so me!" "I love how she hates her brother-in-law more than she loves her husband." "YEAH KDFJGHDFJKG"

"But they don't have one [O5-9]..." "oops." "Whoops!!"

"GUESS WHAT DOUGALL TURNS AROUND AND DOES? AFTER BEING TOLD NOT TO TAKE SHORTCUTS NOR MIRACLE CURES??? GUESS WHAT HE DOES?" "takes a shortcu--" "HE TAKES A MOTHERFUCKING SHORTCUT!"

[group confusion over Amelia and Dougall marrying eachother]

[Group freakout over Dougall being the entity that killed Phillip]

"What is waste? I guess you finally figured it out, Dougall." "OH MY GOD KDJFGHDKFJGD" "THAT'S HILARIOUS." "THIS IS AN ACTUAL LINE IN THE ARTICLE."

"wwwwait a second, a timeline being cut off from the coalition and the RCT? This is familiar..." "that fucking rubik's cube." "the cube!!"

"He fucked around just to get this timeline kicked out?" "He's throwing for content!!" "He should get twitter cancelled."

"Operation LAST STRAW success--" "Hehehehe"

"Because one of the people who writes this taunts me on tumblr and I go insane on the regular."

"She's from the paradox timeline as well," "how'd she get outtie :(((" "We don't know yet!"

this was 101 slides

"why did y'all let this guy cook??" "this freak cannot handle his trauma in a healthy way."

"He might be trying to become the LOGICIAN and kill his author. But also the LOGICIAN is the author so he may be trying to kill the LOGICIAN." "This is just like Betty from adventure time."

"This powerpoint has DLC content!"

and now my friends wanna read the actual Admo articles I am kicking my feet and giggling fr fr fr fr fr fr fr ehehehehehehehe. my brainworms.................... god im so happy rn you have no idea this is all so cool to me and im so happy my friends thought it was neat,,,,,

[electricbluebutterflies]

Hi The more Kabby you write, the more Kabby I want hehe... Perhaps Blindfolds/sensory deprivation could be a pretty much in-character thing for them, maybe right after they get out of the bunker or smth? ( on a side note, i'm really curious how you're gonna pull off that wedding without making it plain funny... but you've done the dancing and I love it so I fully trust you heh)

This was probably supposed to be a smut prompt, but it turned into some immediately post-s4 not-that because @restrainedubiquity had some thoughts about a “missing scene” sort of thing. PG13-ish, content warning for suicidal thoughts // Abby being in generally bad headspace, and also on ao3.

She doesn't remember being this angry at anyone. Ever. And yet here she is, learning new things she is capable of in less than ideal circumstances. The constant echo in her head, forty-one-not-dead, except that dead would be easier and more comfortable and she suspects she'd be a little less homicidal as a ghost. Probably. Not that Abby has ever thought about that. But once more, her mortality is an issue, just…

The necessary reset to undo the damage in her head. Basically, she does have to die. Temporarily. As it's been explained to her, she'll be okay as long as her heart stops. She feels like she ought to be more aware of this process - she, who has spent almost her entire life learning how the human body works and how to make sure it keeps working and rarely if ever thought about creative ways to make it stop - but it sounds idiot-proof enough. Fall into ice water, in a safe space at the bottom of the world, and let the crash save her.

With someone else there, the implication is, to deal with whatever happens after that. To deal with her, whether she lives or dies. And she's angry, and she wants to die, and there's only one option for her minder slash accomplice.

Once upon a time, she thinks as she makes sure the preparations are perfect, she thought she could be a good partner for someone. Perhaps she was, years ago, in a marriage that was just short of perfect until the tragic ending. Jake got the best of her, she thinks. It's been a while since she's thought about her late husband, and she doesn't know what kind of afterlife there may or may not be but she wonders how he'd feel about this if he could see. More likely than not, he'd be shocked by the person she has become, if person is even a word that applies to her anymore. Some days it doesn't feel like it. Some days, she suspects…

Jake, too gentle and tragically dead for two years now, got the best of her. Marcus, too stubborn and standing in the doorway with a hesitant expression on his face, is stuck with the worst.

She attempted to explain the process two days ago, when she asked him if he'd be her minder. She gave a choice, but she knew it wasn't like that for him. Just as she wants to make him bleed for saving her when she didn't deserve to be saved, he has his own residual demons that still occasionally demand a sacrifice. He is wrapped around her fingers and will stay there until he dies no matter what she does, and she hates him for it. How did she inspire such devotion? How did she, of all people, turn him human?

"Close the door and sit down," she says, glancing at him for a heartbeat before returning to her preparations. The pool of icy water is barely big enough for her body, but it will do. The fact that she can do this at all, and do it privately and on her own terms, is this side of a miracle. She can't fuck it up. If she fails, she dies regardless. And if she's going to die, she'd rather it happen through something other than her brain getting eaten from the inside.

"Are you sure there isn't another way?"

"There might be. But this is the easiest. My heart needs to stop. As soon as that monitor goes off, pull me out and bring me back. If you can't…"

If he can't, that is what is. Dying like this would not be the worst possible way. Like this, at least, the last thing she sees will be one of the three people she has loved more than she knew was possible. She could do worse.

"Abby…"

"Don't fight me on this, Marcus. Don't make this worse for either of us."

Everything in order, she begins to shed her clothing. It'll be easier that way, her body that much more responsive. She feels her partner's eyes on her, feels the tension neither of them can face. He's scared - he won't admit it, but she knows that weight in the way he's looking at her right now - and she moves slower and allows him what might be a last memory. What's left of her, exposed, forty-one-not-dead, not dead yet she adds, in harsh artificial light and out of other options.

She feels unexpectedly vulnerable, standing there for a few moments. She's never had that before, not with this man opposite her, not with anyone. With all the weight of the world crashing down so thoroughly, it's been a while since she's had cause or opportunity to think about her body. She has aged well enough, she supposes, if that matters. She has scars, she has lived, she has-

"I'll be the first thing you see when you come back," he murmurs, and there is too much fear in that one little sentence.

"You'd fucking better be."

She crosses the tiny distance between them and kisses him, and for a moment she forgets how much of this is his fault. If he'd let her die, if he hadn't been so damned determined to keep her safe… she could've died more painful and brave, not like this, not like she's about to, not like-

She pushes away and sits down on the edge of the pool, pausing to place a sensor over her heart. She's not entirely sure the device won't shut off completely as soon as she hits the water, but she didn't have time to crash-test everything as she would've under other circumstances. She's not sure how much she cares.

"As soon as the screen goes red, pull me out and bring me back," she repeats, though she knows she's made the simple instructions perfectly clear.

One more glance at her partner, one last look at this man who loves her too much for his own good, and then Abby stands on the edge of the pool and lets herself fall backwards and hopes, in that second, that the water will take her.

Shock, immediate and stronger than she could've expected, everything so cold, everything shutting down, eyes closed, body numb, everything, bitter cold, unfeeling, letting go, drift-

She is gone. She is not in her body. The first half is perfection.

Death is soft and warm and-

Her eyes shock back open, and she is not dead. She is laid out on concrete floor, dripping wet, so cold, and her partner's hands still and drop away and his head falls between her breasts and she feels the breakdown she can't help thinking he deserves and-

"We did it," he breathes, pressing his lips to a spot just above the sensor.

"Did the screen go red?"

"Yes. You didn't… you didn't tell me how loud it would be, Abby. I was worried that would save you before I did."

"Figured that would freak you out. You deserve it."

"I do. But I'd prefer to have that fight on more equal footing."

"We can do that."

She pushes herself up and falls against him, and he is warm and she is not, and his hands tangle in her wet hair and this, she thinks, this would be a good ending for her. If her heart spontaneously stopped again, as she rests in her partner's arms and buries her face against his shoulder and allows herself to feel small and-

"I love you, Abby."

"I'm pretty sure that's the problem."

"And you being mad at me doesn't… I deserve that, but it doesn't change…"

"I know. And I can be pissed off and still love you. I don't have to choose one or the other."

"I can't lose you. You know that."

"That's all I'm living for anymore."

"Shhh. No. You are more than that, Abby, you are-"

"I'm an absolute fucking mess, and the fact that I am naked in your arms is doing nothing for you, and-"

"We will figure all of this out. Together. I can't-"

She knows, as they fall apart together, that this will become all too routine in time. A recurrent fight, the fact that he loves her more than she knows how to be loved and she will never deserve it. She loves him too, in her way, but she doesn't know if that could ever be enough, and she's scared, and-

"Thank you. I wouldn't… you were the only person I could've asked, Marcus."

"I know. I take care of you."

"You shouldn't have to."

"I don't have to. I want to. I'm pretty sure there's a difference in there somewhere."

"I hope there is."

She pushes herself away from him and off the floor and begins the process of drying herself off. She's not sure her body will ever quite go back to the temperature she started at, but she supposes she could learn to hope again. Maybe. As long as she's not alone, as long as-

"Do you want help?"

"My hair's always a lost cause, but you're welcome to try."