#smh. we definitely had the same working braincell there

[000marie198]

Ya know, turns out that when you're with your sibling or family, you don't want to use brain power. It's the one time when you are with people you trust enough to relax a little and not have to keep alert and thinking. So you leave half of the thinking and observing to them.

And they are often doing the same.

So, yeah, speaking from real life experience and analysis of said experience, the phrase "sharing a braincell" rings so very true for families, especially sibs

[miekasa]

do share your thoughts on the SnK final chapter and ending if you read it! <3

OKAY!! Here are just some of my thoughts, none of which are uniform lmaooo and are subject to change if I think about it long enough <22 lots of stuff I haven’t completely figured out or reconciled with yet, but here we go 

Eren’s death

I wanted him to die, and one way or another, he was destined to die; so this is kind of the ending I asked for. 

I wanted him to die for a few reasons, most of which revolve around my desire for him to finally rest and not have to shoulder all the burdens that have been put on him for any longer. So, his death definitely did that for me, and I wouldn’t change it. 

BUT it was heartbreaking to see that, for once, he genuinely did not want to die, and wanted to have time to spend with Mikasa after everything. Eren has asked to die multiple times in the past, and his death was inevitable at some point in time; so to see that in his final moments, he finally said/realized he didn’t want to go made it so bittersweet. 

The thing I’m happiest about the most is that he achieved his original goal: to kill all the titans. As a titan himself, he was always a part of that plan, so, again I’m okay with his death. But it’s a twisted, beautiful sort of tragedy that in wanting to kill himself to achieve his dream, he found a sense of personhood that made him think life was worth living [even if his goal wasn’t achieved]. 

Another important reason I believed he needed to/should have died is because I didn’t want him to have to suffer at the hands of any other government or empire again. Even if none of the shit with Marley or the other nations happened, and he found away to “free” everyone without murder, the government of Paradis wouldn’t have trusted him. They never really did. 

Eren has been locked up and/or under constant supervision since he was 15. And when he wasn’t, it’s because he was kidnapped and somebody else was preying on his death. Even when he desperately pleaded to help and showed that he wanted to use his titan to help, he was treated like a criminal, and less than human.

You can’t... you can’t treat a kid like that and expect him to turn out normal 😭😭 or to not want to go to extremes, or to become a pacifist, or to spinelessly hand over his own life and ambitions. (Honestly... think he should have started with murking a few people in Wall Sina, but whatever 🙄)

This is all to say, that if he continued to live, free of the 13 year curse, he wouldn’t have been free in any nation. He probably would have been executed, or at the very least, locked up until he died. So, I’m happy that he was able to die at his own hand (and Mikasa’s, too). 

Eren’s character

I obviously still love his character, and I don’t think his actions in the final season ruined him for way. There’s a lot to come to terms with, but I like that about him. I’ll work through all the details one day, and I’m okay with that. In fact, I don’t think Eren even ever got the chance to figure himself out independent of his titan.

His secret keeping was questionable, but not out of character. He’s always ruminated until he figures something out, or gets stuck and needs help—he’s always had the whole thing about doing everything on his own. 

Until that one conversation with him, Mikasa, and Armin after the fight with Jean in s3. I’d always read that as him beginning to understand that he didn’t have to everything on his own, and that he was going to be relying on his friends from thereon out. But, sometimes, I feel like that realization got erased...? I don’t know, maybe the more I think about it, the more it’ll make sense, but that’s one part I’m still working through. 

The only other thing I didn’t understand is how he got so smart LMAOOO. His plan and actions required quite a bit of thought, foresight, and sacrifice that he’s never really shown before; at least not to this degree. Like I said though, if you factor in how his was treated, and how his life always had an expiration date, it begins to make sense why he was so quick and insistent to act, so it’s not completely out of left field for me—and I could even make the argument that he wasn’t really that smart and was just as impulsive (ish) and hot-headed as he’s always been; but like I said, I’m still figuring it out. Not sure what it was that awakened his braincells but I’ll get there LMAOOO

Eren + Mikasa

Fuck y’all I like Eremika goodnight. I can’t help it, I’m a simple bitch: I see childhood friends to lovers, and I fold. You should too smh.

I... don’t think the little cottagecore timeline from 138 was out of character for either of them. I see the arguments that it was, and that’s cool, but I see it as something very real and plausible. 

Eren showed that he did all of this to ensure that even if he couldn’t bring peace to the whole world, at the very least, he could do his best to make sure his friends live long, happy lives. An alternate way for that would have been to give Mikasa the opportunity to spend his remaining years with him. 

Eren has always done his best Mikasa and Armin, even if his methods seemed harsh or apathetic. The way I see it, running away with Mikasa in his final year is not only becoming and telling of the kind of friend/person his is, but it would have been his way to atone for being an idiot and not acting upon his feelings [in a more traditional sense] earlier.

He knew either way it was too late, but he also knew that he owed her—and himself—even a piece of peace before it all ended, whichever way it was going to end. And I think that’s a part of Eren’s character that’s often overlooked. 

Mikasa’s ending

I think that Eren ultimately killed himself, but it’s undeniable that Mikasa helped, and I’m glad she did. If Eren was going to die by anybody’s hands, I wanted it to be Mikasa’s or Levi’s. 

I think Levi would have been symbolic, given his speech in the courtroom in s1, about how killing Eren is the best he could do, and that there was no in-between. But I’m happy with Mikasa doing it too, because, in a way, I think she ended up being able to do the one thing Levi didn’t have the physical strength left to do. I also like it as far as Mikasa’s relationship with Levi goes; she kind of becomes him in this complicated way, and it shows how far they’ve come in terms of trust. They’re a pretty good team. 

I don’t see why anyone would give her shit for sitting at Eren’s gravestone. It had been only three years since he died, and regardless of the amount of time that had passed, if it was the anniversary of his death, that’s a perfectly normal thing to do...? So many people hate her for being in love Eren and I don’t get it. She’s just mourning, and she’s well within her rights to do so. 

Actually, I think that Mikasa being shown to have loved and mourned for Eren so outwardly were the most profound displays of bravery in this whole series. 

It takes so much courage to love, especially in her world, but Mikasa has never shied away from it. I would even go so far as to argue that she is the character with the strongest sense of self and self-worth. I don’t think people realize how much it takes to know anything about yourself that assuredly—so many characters are left with unanswered questions about their world, themselves, and their place in it—but Mikasa has always known that she loves Eren. 

That’s an insanely hard thing to know and to do. And she wasn’t blind about it either, nor did she believe her love was unconditional (and if she gets shit for having hope for Eren, then so should Armin, but we know why he doesn’t get the same heat for it). She heard out the concerns of her friends, she let go of the scarf, and she killed him in the end. 

I would have liked to see her talk to Kiyoomi again, and perhaps see her being associated with that nation/country/whatever it was. But she’s still thee baddest bitch and the best girl. 

Levi

WE IN THIS BITCH!! WE ABSOLUTELY IN THIS BITCH!! 

ROUND OF APPLAUSE LADIES AND GAYS AND THEYS FOR THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND HIMSELF!! 

If he died, I would have rioted. On god. 

This is the EXACT ending I wanted for him. I’m so happy that he gets time to rest knowing that none of his decision were in vain; and that he shouldn’t regret anything he did.

l know the wheelchair was literal in the sense that he was injured, but I also think it’s metaphorical in that he no longer has to standing on his own two feet, and carry everyone on his back. For once, for fucking once, he can literally sit back and read a fucking book in peace. 

Also Gabi and Falco taking care of him is so fucking cute, I loved that so, so, so much. 

Others

I don’t think Hange needed to die, goodbye. I get why they did, and I’m glad they went out in a way they wanted do, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it BYE. 

Pieck is far too sexy for her titan to have been that ghastly. Porco, too. Speaking of Porcupine, I fucking love him. I didn’t think I would like him this much, but I do, and now I miss him. 

When did Connie get so s*xy

I stand by the belief that this wouldn’t have happened with Erwin around—and for the worse. Yes, I think Hange waited longer than they should have to act; but I understand they were overwhelmed, and had a lot of responsibility, and regret, clouding over them. 

That being said, I think Erwin would have been 10x worse LMFAO with all his secret keeping and mystery. With all the shit going on, all the information being revealed to Paradis, and with Eren’s own secret keeping, I don’t think Erwin’s character and way of planning would have been conducive the new environment. RIP tho Erwin, you a legend for the shit you did, big ups on that my guy. 

I... guys, I like Reiner. Like, a lot. What goes on. 

I still hate H*storia and I think she caused a lot of problems that could have been resolved relatively quickly if she left 😐😐  yeah, yeah, girl power or whatever, but I don’t like it. I don’t like her. Bye. 

I have more thoughts on Marley and the other nations, but that’s a whole separate rant that I will spare you from for now 

[ofperez]

♔ — * in tonight’s performance of ensemblehq, the role of the leading lady will be played by paola perez.

hello everyone ! my name is kiwi, i’m 20 years old, vibing in the est timezone, and i use they/she pronouns. a fun fact about me is that i’m actually studying theatre in college right now !! if i was a skeleton in this rp, i would definitely be the comic, as i tend to get typecasted into comedic roles in literally every show that we do ever (will i ever play a romantic lead in my life? probably not. i’ve made my peace with it.)

i will be writing the incomparable paola, everyone’s favorite rachel berry wannabe. while you can read her full bio HERE (and i’ll love you forever if you do), i’ve included some bullet points below because i know that i wrote a lot nsfkgjdfs

SO without further ado (adieu? ado? adue? how did i get into this rp, i have literally one braincell) i present to you: the grand journey of paola perez.

fictional character inspirations include: rosalie hale from twilight, dany from game of thrones, winter anderson from american horror story, maddy perez from euphoria, mariana foster from the fosters and (bc i have to) angelica schuyler from hamilton and also rachel berry from glee (don’t @ me, i had to do it)

ABOUT.

paola is the only child of luciana perez, an immigrant from colombia who fled her hometown of quibdó before her daughter’s first birthday. she got an american work visa, packed up all her things, and left the life she knew behind.

they never found a place to settle down in the united states, and moved around every couple of months to avoid detection and suspicion from neighbors and authorities.

(RACISM TW) this was exciting for paola, and she never really gave it a second thought until one day in the eighth grade when a boy told her to “go back home,” and that she wasn’t a “real american.” this made her upset as she didn’t know what he meant and she ran home to her mother immediately, demanding an explanation.

her mom was about to explain when the phone rang and she was told by a coworker that they needed her at work. she told paola to pack a bag and head to the neighbors for a bit. her mom never came back and she’s lived with her neighbor, linda, ever since.

she did not find out what happened to her mother until a year and a bit later, when linda sat her down and told her that her mother wrote her a letter, and she wanted to explain what happened to her first.

(DEPORTATION TW) the phone call her mother received was from one of her coworkers who was also undocumented. she said that ICE (immigration and customs enforcement) had shown up at their place of employment and was asking questions to employees, getting information about the ones who weren’t at work that day. if luciana didn’t go to work in that moment, ice would have shown up at her door that night, and they would have taken both her and paola into custody. her mom was now back in colombia, and paola was alone.

she wasn’t entirely alone, however. she had the theatre program at school and she had linda at home, and at school, she was super successful. she got lead role after lead role, building her resume so that she could get into a good college and then have a successful career and be able to take care of her mother.

things that happened before the end of her senior year also included officially being adopted by linda and applying to DACA (deferred action for childhood arrivals)

upon arriving at alderidge, paola realized that she could be anything she wanted to be, and what she wanted to be was rich and powerful and successful, and SO homegirl lies about being on scholarship and having tons of money and basically has created this whole second identity as a wall between her and everyone else.

she loves orson. not in like a romantic way, but in a “the only father figure i’ve ever known” kind of way. she used to spend hours in his office crying, working on assignments, getting advice from him on grad schools and life after college. his loss is devastating for her, and she’s definitely gone into full conspiracy theory mode.

HEADCANNONS.

i think for her audition monologue to get into the school she did the “out damned spot” monologue from m*****h, and i think that orson shed a tear at her performance.

she has saved a flower from every show that she has been in, pressed it, and preserved it so that after she graduates, she can have something to take with her to each dressing room she ends up inhabiting during her career.

linda tries her hardest to travel from florida to washington to see every show she can. if she can’t be there in person, she will email the school repeatedly until she gets a video recording of the performance. linda and paola have a tradition where after each show, they get ice cream and just talk MAD shit about everyone else in the cast. this is alive and well, and even though they sometimes do this over facetime, they still love doing it.

paola is really bright ! like super academic (enough to get a full ride to alderidge) but that’s something she keeps under wraps. she does have to maintain a 3.0 gpa to stay at school on her scholarship, and that is something she’s never had to worry about. she’s also minoring in business b/c even the most confident among us gotta have back up plans.

(TW: DRUGS) let’s talk about coke ! i imagine that her and the leading man found orson’s secret stash one day years ago and tried it “just for shits and giggles,” expecting to do it once just to try it and then to never do it again. that didn’t work, and now she is sort of reliant on it. she does coke before every performance and audition, when she needs a little pick me up to finish an assignment or to memorize the last of her lines, at parties, literally any reason she can find to take more she will take more. this is a problem !! homegirl needs an intervention, stat, or else she is not making it to broadway, no ma’am.

i think she has a completion compulsion, meaning once she starts something, she has to see it through. this manifests itself in many different ways. she won’t move on to the next question on a test until she answers the one prior, she won’t quit a project in the middle of it until she has some sort of finished project, won’t quit a club or a show or a commitment until the end. this also can be seen in her friendship w/ the scene stealer !

okay this is just because i’m a huge theatre nerd but i think she was definitely mayzie la bird in seussical the musical at some point, also probably the witch in into the woods and then i think her senior musical was mamma mia and she was donna.

her dream roles include harper in angels in america, lady m*****t in m*****t, and honestly probably goody proctor in the crucible (although she’s SUCh an abigail williams, smh).

she was born on the same day as barack obama and that’s not REALLY a headcannon, because it’s more a fact, but i think it’s neat.

WANTED.

you can find my wanted connection tag here ! it’s a bit scarce right now, but it has some fun jumping off points

other wanted connections i included in my app are: “line study partners, the person who she always goes and gets taco bell with after every rehearsal, maybe a roommate in between the supporting role sophomore year and the statue senior year who she actually really got along with! some sort of love interest would be cool but is definitely not mandatory although the most theatre kid romantic ship i can think of is being paired up to do a romantic scene and then dropping the scripts and making out so that could happen and be very cool very nice”

that’s it ! i’ll shut up now ! can’t wait to get started !