#slept 3 hours and the dude only answered my texts today

[mushroominawaterbottle]

Me today

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Please Me: Oikawa's Oasis Part 3

⚠️This Fic is 18+, Minors DNI⚠️

Welcome to week 4 of the Please Me Series!  A collaboration with @axoxtxhxh! This weeks theme is Virginity Loss featuring Oikawa and Goshiki!  This weeks fics are broken into 3 parts! Parts 1 and 2 are linked in the master list below! Please check out Joey’s fic, Guiding Goshiki!  I will also link it in the Please Me master list!  

Warnings: swearing, slight angst, fluffy ending, virginity loss, kissing, male oral receiving, thigh riding, masturbation,  locker room sex, shower sex, unprotected sex, creampie, guided female masturbation, sub! oikawa, fem dom reader, petnames, one hell of a safeword 

Word Count: 5,000

Staring at the wall, you heard your alarm sound the following morning as you slowly arose from your bed.  You hadn’t slept at all since you had arrived home last night.  You couldn’t shake the feeling of shame and guilt for running away from Torū.

You’re feelings were valid, you knew that. But you knew it wasn’t right to run away from him like you did. You should have talked to him.  In a way, you probably made him feel more self conscious then you had your first time.  

You sighed as you got up to shower and head to the gym. You knew you needed to talk with Torū.  You needed to explain to him that none of this was his fault.  

Locking your door, you headed to the gym as you mentally prepared yourself for the conversation that would follow.  You wanted to tell him about how you were afraid you would ruin his first time.  How your first time failed miserably and that you didn’t want him to regret anything.  

Torū had become very special to you as both a teammate and a friend. You didn’t want to make his time with the team awkward in anyway.  You knew the conversation would be a difficult one but you had to do it.  

Arriving at gym you saw several of the other players nursing hangovers and you began setting up for the days practice.  You yawned as you went to the bench, to grab your notes as the teams captain approached.

“You must have really worn Torū out YN” he said nudging your side as you looked at him confused “he texted me this morning telling me he was too ‘worn out’ to come to practice” he said throwing up air quotes “I’m actually surprised you’re here today.”

Hearing the Torū wasn’t coming to practice hit your like a ton of bricks, the feeling guilty washing over you as you felt the urge to cry.  You turned away from the captain as he watched you walk away in silence, going to fill the teams water bottles.  

Stepping from the gym, you felt the tears flow as the guilt and shame of your actions washed over you. How could you act so immature?  How could you just run away?  

You cried as you went to fill the teams water bottles. God I probably made him feel so insecure. I’m such an idiot you thought to yourself as you tried to calm down enough to finish your task and excuse yourself to your office.  You could camp out there the rest of the practice, telling the coach you had some work to catch up on.  At least then you could cry in peace.

Torū groaned as he woke up from his small nap. He hadn’t been able to sleep because of what had transpired between YN and himself.  He felt so shamed, so inadequate.  These were feelings he didn’t often have, causing chaos in his mind as he jolted hearing the sudden ring of his phone.

He answered the FaceTime call to a smiling Iwaizumi as he tried to bring a smile to his glum face.

“Shittykawa what’s the matter with you?  I didn’t expect you to pick up. Don’t you have practice? Iwaizumi says as Oikawa just stared at him.

Iwaizumi was confused. He had known Oikawa for many years and this was the first time he had ever seen the former high school captain so gloomy. Even losing their 3rd year volleyball tournament hadn’t made the captain as sad as he was now.

“I messed up Hajime” Torū said as Iwaizumi reeled back.  Oikawa never used his full name.

“What happened? Are you ok?” He said as Torū tried to hold his composure in. His emotions were all over the place, he had never felt so vulnerable, so destroyed “Hey Torū, are you ok?”

That did it. Iwaizumi saying his name caused Torū to cry like he had never cried before. He wasn’t even embarrassed, not one bit. He didn’t have time to feel embarrassed. He felt too ashamed.

“Hajime” Torū said finally calming down “she- YN doesn’t want me.”

Iwaizumi was stunned.  Never had this ever happened. A girl didn’t want the Torū Oikawa?  What kind of alternative dimension was he living in?

Iwaizumi watched as his friend wiped his face with his palms, trying to figure out what to say.

“Uhh- well umm what happened” he managed to muster up as he tried hard to still comprehend the previous statement made by his friend.

“Last night, I went out with the team.  Things with YN got heated.  We came back to my place.  Everything was going so well.  Then I told her I was a virgin and she freaked out and ran” he said as he looked down, unable to make eye contact with his friend.

Iwaizumi couldn’t help but chuckle to himself and try as he might, he was unable to hold a straight face.  He laughed loudly as Torū’s head whipped up into view, sending glares at him.

“Dude, I'm sorry” he laughed “but please tell me that you just didn’t say ‘YN I’m a virgin’ and expect her to be like ready to rip your v-card from your grasp.”

Iwaizumi laughed loudly as Torū just continued to stare at his friend “I don’t think it’s very funny Iwa-chan” he said he  scuffed at his friends laughter.

“Boy, you really are lame shittykawa” he said chuckling “are you sure you really are good with women?  I mean I don’t blame her one bit!  Taking a guy’s virginity would suck!  I mean men really don’t know shit about pleasuring women so what’s in it for her?”

Torū thought hard while his friend talked. Maybe he had approached it wrong to begin with. Not that he thinks about it, his method of delivery was a bit hasty.  

“Dude, I think you need to just talk to her You don’t really know why she turned you down.  I mean it sounds like she likes you from the way things went last night. Maybe you just made her nervous.”

Torū knew his friend was right. You had never given him any indication that you didn’t like him and he knew that, last night you felt something just like he did.

Torū looked at his friend as he smiled “you’re right Iwa-chan I’ll talk to her tomorrow.” Iwaizumi laughed as he watched the light stream back into his friend’s face.  

“Good luck idiotkawa” he said hanging up as Torū laid his phone down.  It was getting late, well after practice had ended. He knew he should try and get to the gym to practice some before tomorrow. He gathered his gear as he made his way to the gym, hoping someone was still there so he could practice.

You had managed to avoid the team for the entire practice. The coach had bought your excuse and you stayed cooped up in your small office until after practice.  

You signed as you stood up from your chair, tired from sulking and crying the entire afternoon.  You grabbed your bag and locked the office door.  Thankfully it was Friday and you could spend the weekend sleeping.  You were exhausted but yet somehow found the strength to cry for hours on end.  

You approached the gym doors as the all too familiar sounds of volleyball slamming into the floor radiated into your ears.  You checked your phone, nothing that it was 7pm and well past practice time.  You approached the gym doors as you quietly peaked in to see a sweating Torū setting up a serve, smashing it straight into the net  

“UGH DAMMIT” he said shouting as he prepared the throw another one up, once again managing to net the ball.  He leaned over, placing his hands on his knees and he grabbed his towel and headed to the locker rooms.  He had only been practicing for an hour but he was just unable to get into it.  

You watched as he made his way into the locker rooms, following to the doors as you slowly opened them, hearing him shout from inside.

“Torū,you idiot!” he shouted as you winced at his words.  You felt awful. You knew he was like this because of what had transpired between the two of you the previous night.  

You walked in the doors, standing for a moment as you see Oikawa sitting on the bench, a towel placed over his head and his elbows rested on his knees.

You knew you had to say something.  You couldn’t let him think any of this was his fault.  This was all your doing and it was time you owned up to it  

“Hey Torū” you said softly as the locker room door closed behind you and Torū’s head snapped up to meet yours. He looked at you as you walked over to him, sitting directly in across from him on the other bench.

“We need to talk” you said as he put his head down, trying not to cry again.

“It’s ok YN.  There’s nothing to talk about” he said he went to stand up, stopping when you grabbed his forearm.

“No Torū” you said as you sniffles lightly “I need to apologize.”

Torū was confused as he sag back done the bench, removing the towel from his head.  He stared at you questioningly.  What were you apologizing for?

You played with your fingers for a moment as you tried hard to muster up the courage to talk.  You knew what you wanted to say, rather what you needed to say.  

“Torū, I’m sorry I ran out on you.  I shouldn’t have done that.  I- I just got really nervous” you say, still looking down at the floor as you took a deep breath and tried hard not to cry.

“When you told me you were a virgin, it made me nervous.  I remember my first time all too well and I- well I just don’t want your first time to be like mine was” you speak as Torū looks at you, still confused.

The whole time the issue hadn’t been that he was a virgin, it had been that you wanted him to have a good experience?  He was shocked.  Here he though the issue was him, when in reality the issue was your own self doubts. He listened as you continued to talk.

“My first time wasn’t good Torū.  I didn’t know what I was doing and I thought I had feelings for the guy but like he didn’t have feelings for me.  And I really like you Torū and I just don’t want you to regret anything.  The fact that you trusted me with something so special made me nervous and scares” you said as your eyes went up to meet Torū.  

He looked at you, staring into your eyes as he tried hard to comprehend everything you had just said. He felt awful that your first experience wasn’t good but he also knew his feelings for you were valid and now he knew you had feelings for him too. He continued to stare as he worked his way thought the issues in his mind.  

You frowned as you took his silence as a bad sign, sighing as you stood up.  

“Thanks for letting me explain myself Torū.  You are so amazing and you deserve someone special” you said as you went to leave the locker rooms.

Torū snapped from his thoughts as he quickly grabbed your hand, pulling you back into his as he placed a light kiss on your lips. He smiled as you looked at him, very confused as to what had just happened.

Torū put his forehead on yours as you smiled softly.  

“YN, you don’t get it.  I want you to be my first because of how I feel about you” he said as he looked at you softly. You had become an oasis for him. An escape from reality and daily life. You had loved volleyball as much as him and you had always been genuine with him.  

You smiled as you grabbed his neck, kissing him softly again as he pulled your body flush against his as he deepened the kiss.  He placed his hands on your soft waist as he moved his hand up and down your back as you grabbed at his hair pulling him in closer to you.

You break from the kiss, staring at each other as your lips hovered over his.  Your body hearing up as you could feel his erection forming against your thigh.  You kissed his chin to his neck as he pulled your pelvis in closer, grinding where he could, trying hard to gather any amount of friction to ease his aching cock.

He backed away from him as he watched in confusion as you approached the locker room door.

Not again he thought as he heard the lock click, watching you stroll back to him, pulling him back into a full embrace.  He needed you and bad.  He couldn’t stand this pain in his cock anymore. He needed relief and the only medicine was you.

You push him back to the bench as he sits down looking up at you as you smirk down at him.

“Torū do you really want this?” You said as he groans, looking up at your gorgeous figure.  

He nodded frantically as you took his chin in your hand “I need a verbal response Torū” you said as his eyes widened.

“Yes- yes YN I want this” he said as you step back, removing your shirt and leggings, watching him ogle at your nearly naked form.  

“Ok Torū, I want you to pick a safe word just incase things get to be too much for you” you said as he gawked at you in your bra and panties. He was having a hard time concentrating on the task at hand with you standing tall in front of him.

“Torū!” you repeated as you snapped your fingers in front of his eyes, trying to get his attention turned back.

“Oh shit- yeah a safe word, umm how about ‘Kageyama’?” He said as you stared strangely at the word.

“I’ve never heard of ‘Kageyama’?  What does that mean?” You said as he stood up from his spot approaching you as he grabbed at your scantily clad hips.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just something will definitely snap me out of the mood” he said as you chuckled lightly embracing Torū in a heated kiss.  

Your tongue licked his lips lightly as he granted you access, opening his mouth to your wet muscle as you massaged your tongue against his, pulling light groans from his pretty head.

You tugged on his shirt as he lifted his arms up, letting you pull the shirt from his body as your fingers and palms run up his sculpted chest.  

Your fingers graze lightly over his nipples as he shutters and groans.  His body was so reactive to every touch, every movement. The fact that you were about to engage in intercourse with the setter still made you a bit nervous but you tried hard to cast the self doubt aside, wanting to make the experience memorable for both you and Torū.

As if on queue, Torū looked at you sweetly as he brushed the tip of your nose with his. “you know YN, we could just count this as your virginity loss too.  I mean clearly you are as nervous as I am” he said chuckling as you laughed loudly throwing your head back.  

“That’s a good idea Torū but I am experienced in pleasuring a partner” you said as you push him down to the bench “just be a good boy for me and let me take the lead, ok?”

Torū gulped as he eyes widened at as your form sunk to your knees in front of him.  This was really happening and in the team locker room.  Not an ideal place to lose your virginity but he was not about to interrupt you.

“Umm YN” he said as he looked at you , kneeling before him with your hands placed on your plush thighs “don’t you umm, don’t you want me to make you feel good too?”  

You chuckled lightly as you reached up pulling him into a heated kiss as he gently rubbed his hands along your soft arms.

“How about I show you what I like while I make you feel good, then you can try?” You say as he nods quickly watching your hands go to his gym shorts, pulling his erection free as he shifts his hips upwards, helping you to remove his pesky shorts.

Your eyes widen at his size as you think about all the possible ways his cock will pleasure your wet cunt.  You felt your core heat up as you looked up to Torū.  

He was completely blissed out. Lost in translation between here and fantasy.  He’s eyes sparkled with excitement as you tested the waters, lightly kicking the tips of his hard cock.

Groaning he threw his head back in pleasure as you smirked to yourself, going in for another lick.  Your tongue laying more and more on his stiffened cock as he writhed in pleasure under your control.

Your body headed as you watched his abs contract in the moment, his mouth hanging open as his tongue lolled out in ecstasy.  He watched as your fingers traced lightly from his legs to your own, peering down at your chest as your fingers danced lightly over your clothed clit.

“Fuck YN” he moaned as he tried his hardest not to come from the sensation of your tongue on his cock.

Taking one final lick, you stand up as you slowly remove your panties from your body, revealing your cunt to him as he stares at the wetness coating your inner thighs.  

“Did you- did I” he said staring at you as you laugh, pushing him back on the hard bench, placing one leg on each side as you rub your clit with your fingers.

“Yes Torū you made me this wet” you say as you widen his legs on the bench, his cock standing tall as you bend down, grinding your cunt on his lower thigh.  

“Holy shit-” he groans as you moan throwing your head back as his leg rubs your clit perfect.  He grabs his cock as he slowly begins to stroke himself, trying hard to concentrate on your moments and pleasure as he feels the wetness pool on his legs.  

You lean over, placing two of your wet fingers in his mouth as he sucks violently, causing you to grind faster and harder.  Your orgasm builds as moans and groans fill the air

 Your body heats up rapidly as the cord in your stomach tightens. Your pace quickens as does Torū’s as you feel the cord begin to loosen.

“Oh fuck Torū” you moan as Toru groans deeply, letting go of his aching cock to watch as you tip over the edge.  

“Come on baby, come for me” he says as the pet name tips you over the edge, your cunt pulsing on his thigh as he watches your face contort into pleasure.  

“That was so hot YN” he says he has gently caressed your arm and leg as his cock aches painfully beside you.

“We are just getting started Torū” you say as you adjust yourself over his pelvis, pushing his cock between your wet folds as your grind back and forth, trying hard to ensure your good and ready to take his cock.

“Fuck YN- I, I’m not going to last long” you say as you shush him, halting your movements.

“Hey its OK.  I already came so now we need you to come. How do you want to come Torū?” You say as he bites his lower lip, watching your pussy settle above his cock.

“Please YN- please put it in. I need to be inside of you princess” he squeaks out as you smirk at his request. You knew he wouldn’t last long inside of you.  One thing you prided yourself on sexually was your ability to ride a cock and boy was Torū in for a treat.  

You line his cock up with your wet cunt, slowly bending your knees down as you impaled yourself in his cock.

The stretch was delicious as Torū’s mouth fell open as he groaned and panted beneath you.  You knew he could feel the tightness you felt as you waited for him to adjust to being inside of you.

Torū’s hands flew to your hips as he tried his hardest to remain calm.  Your cunt was so tight and so warm around his cock. The pleasure was unimaginable.  All he wanted was to feel the release.

“Torū are you ok?” You said as you steadied your hands on his chest watching to make sure the man below you was still coherent.

“It’s so tight YN, please” he moaned as his hands went to your hips and you ground a little down on him as his core shuttered, causing his dick to jolt inside you.

“I’m going to go slow ok” you said as he nodded.  Your feet planted firmly on the ground, you pushed lightly on his chest as you propelled your hips up and down, impaling yourself on his cock over and cover again.  

The pace was agonizing for Torū as whimper and moans fell from his mouth.  You could feel your orgasm building and you knew Torū couldn’t hold on much longer.  You needed to go faster.

“Torū” you groan from above him as you continue your leisurely pace “I’m close can I go-”

“GOD PLEASE BABY FUCK ME” he shouts as your hips speed up, jerking his cock as you felt the familiar knot began to unwind “fuck YN I can’t hold out-”

“Almost baby” you moan as you feel the cord snap inside your stomach as your cunt pulses on Toru's cock causing him to groan and grunt.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK-” he shouts as his hips still into you, painting your walls white as he grips your hips firmly, whimpering below you as he tried his hardest to come down from his high.

He felt absolutely spectacular, like his body was floating on air.  He couldn’t believe how amazing his first time had been. He never imagined it would happen the way it did but he wasn’t complaining.  His body and mind were in complete bliss.

Coming down from your high, you laugh as you look at Torū’s blissed out state.  He smiles at you as he opens his eyes slowly caressing your cheek.  

“That was amazing YN” he said, breath shaking as he came down from his high, breathing steadily.

Your chest filled with pride as you felt sheer happiness fluid your body.  You had redeemed yourself and you had made Torū’s first time amazing.

Standing up slowly, Torū watched as his cum leaked down your thigh as you stood in front of him.  His eyes traced your form as he felt his cock jolt to life again, ready for another round.

Standing up, he quickly grabbed you in a bridal carry, running towards the shower as your screamed and laughed as he set you down, turning the water on and pressing your body against the shower wall.

“eww Torū, this wall is gross” you groan as his lips attach to your neck as you feel his erection growing against your pelvis.

“It’s fine YN, I’ll clean you up afterwards” he says as he kisses you deeply, pulling your body against his as he pulls you under the warm water.  

You break the kiss as you smile softly up at his tall form, water cascading down his body as you feel his hardened chest under your hands.

“I need you” he says as you smirk at him, turning around to face the wall.  You grind your ass into his already hard member as he grabs your hips, pulling you firmly into him.

“Then fuck me Torū” you say as you peer over your shoulders, watching Torū’s face fill with excitement as he lines up his cock with your still damp cunt, slowly pushing in as he slowly sinks deep into your hole.

“fuck YN- your pussy is just amazing” he says as he slowly pulls his cock back out, moving at a snails pace in and out of you.

“Torū” you moan as you mouth falls open  “give me your hand” you say as Torū’s hand appears in front of you as you place it between your legs on your hardened clit.  Torū moans when his fingers hit your clit as you rotate his wrist, showing him exactly how you like to be pleasured.  You let go of his hand as he continues to rub tiny fast circles into your clit as you propel yourself faster onto his cock, meeting his thrusts half way.

The air feels with the smell of sex and the sound of skin slapping as your ass meets his hips over and over.  

“Fuck baby” he groans

“I know Torū, just a little more” you squeak out as he picks up his speed, meeting your ass fast and harshly as his fingers speed up on your clit.

“TORŪ FUCK-” You scream as his hips still on your ass as he presses hard, his head falling to your shoulder as he tries to gain control of his breathing.

“Ahhh fucking hell- FUCK” he shouts as he chest heaves in relief as you both come down from your highs as he releases you and you turn to face him, kissing him softly as he grabs you, pulling you into a tight embrace.  

“Thank you YN” he says whispering into your neck as you smile softly.

After cleaning up and getting dressed, Torū helps you clean up the gym as you get ready to leave for the night.  Locking the gym doors, Torū grabs your hand as he pulls you along with him.

“Torū” you say laughing as the brunette pulls you hastily out of the building “my apartment is the other way!”

“Who said the night was over YN-chan?  I need to practice pleasuring you” he smirks as you gulp, following behind him quickly.

You sure were in for a long night ahead.

taglist: @chaotic-nick @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes @serostapesweat @lovelyzabrak-meadow​

[bonnymori]

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲

Word count: 2760+ (i'll try to keep bigger lengths such as this one!)

Synopsis: You meet a new classmate who's working along Nanami, you think he's fun to be around, it stands the same to him about you. Later, feelings unravel.

Contents/Warnings: (1) Itadori Yuuji x gn!reader (2) FLUFF, TONS OF FLUFF - and some comfort (3) With the small participation of... Ino Takuma!! I really like him too, that's why <33333 (4) This is pretty platonic, but also not? (5) Ending turned sorta cliché... but I liked it u.u

A/N: This boy made me run rampant... to fhe point it's not single attraction anymore I just wish him happiness (smh if only my parents knew...) also next post will be Toji's fic pt. 2! Y'all see the first part is almost reaching 100 kudos????? I'M SO HAPPY EHSODJWKDKSJD- thanks for all the new followers and the support!! <33

Ever since his fake death, Itadori has been training alone with the help of Gojo - and now, he works along a freshly new face, who belongs to a senior, founds out ex-salaryman named Nanami Kento. He's far a thousand times more strict than Gojo. Itadori doesn't really likes the change, because Nanami is a person he can't get along. This whole guy's appearance scream "work 4 life"; he has proved different, now he screams "work is shit - but I gotta do it because others won't".

They've just finished cleansing the outside of a movie theater off a few curses, when Itadori hears shouting from far behind them. Two figures approach, waving excessively. He quickly picks on Nanami's tired sigh beside him.

"Nanami! We figured out you'd be here! Our mission has been finished and we wanted to catch up to have lunch together!" A male clad in a full black outfit shouts, he has brown hair and a beanie on top of his head, looking quite content.

The other person simply trots next to him in silence, approaching with a friendly smile. They notice Itadori faster than the male, smile widening and quickly waving hello, suddenly eager to reach up to them. The gesture makes the pink haired boy perk up, curious to why the other person looked so joyful. His question is easily answered, when they tug on the man's sleeve and motion to him.

"Ino, we have a third buddy!" The dude looks at him with widened eyes. "So nice to meet you, I'm Y/N L/N! It's great to see new faces around!"

Itadori smiles at your energy, knowing already he would click with you very well.

"I'm Ino Takuma, sorry for not noticing you before! Your uniform looks cool." Itadori exchanges a few compliments with Ino, before the man turns to talk with Nanami, leaving him and you together.

"Yes! I'm Sukuna's vessel, Itadori Yuuji-desu! My type of woman is Jenn-"

You turn to him. "So, are you a first year?"

"Geh? Weren't you dead though?!"

"I was!- I am!- Please keep secret."

"Okay!"

"Ahem." Nanami coughs, drawing attention. "I requested you two to not come after me today. Itadori here is the reason why."

"That's no problem, we're very capable of keeping secrets." You threw your arm over Itadori's shoulder, him nodding along with you.

"Oh really, then remember to keep quiet about it. I'll let this slide." The group of students nervously at Nanami's intimidating tone. "But, I'll get to have my break alone."

"Gah!" Ino exclaimed, watching Nanami walk away; he also left the responsability of taking care of Itadori for you two, leaving without a word. "It really had to be today, when Nanami would take us to his favorite bakery..."

"Crybaby." You teased. "Itadori here can't go outside where anyone can see him, he's dead. So, we were to order food either way because he shouldn't be left out."

"Augh okay, it would be unfair."

"So, where are you staying Itadori?"

"At Gojo's state!"

"Whoa, I've never been there before." Ino commented, waiting as you sent a message to Ijichi to pick them up.

"He's my teacher, a very cool one!"

"I imagine! Ooookay, once we get there I'll get the food."

Itadori felt as his chest would burst of excitement, finally there was people around him again, he couldn't be less happy about it.

"Sharing is caring!"

Itadori laughed as you wrestled with Takuma for some fries, netflix long forgotten in the background, as watching the banter was way more entertaining. Most of the time, Ino rambled a lot about Nanami, while he rambled a lot about Gojo. The guy even showed him the cool scar under his beanie. He felt kinda upset after explaining the exchange was just temporary, his stay under Nanami's wing wasn't decisive, and therefore, he was more like a classmate than a partner.

Itadori also learned a lot about you. He was surprised to find out that you, although energetic, was the one to speak the lesser in conversations. His surprisement grew even bigger when you told him you're a exchange student from Kyoto, arriving Tokyo about the same month as him - thankfully, you were to say for good.

Conversations flowed easily in the air, until a voice from the doorway barged in.

"Yuuji-kun! Don't forget about your lessons! Hi kids! Bye kids!" Gojo said playfully, throwing the familiar punching bear to Itadori before leaving.

"What's this thing?" Ino asked.

"It's to help me control my cursed energy. So while I watch the movies, if I don't charge it with cursed energy it punches me square in the face. I thought I had mastered this thing already, but he insist I keep training with it." Itadori grumbles.

"At least it's cute." You commented, taking a sip of your drink.

"Until it punches you in your face without warning!" The pink haired boy barks.

The talks died down, the three of you eating quietly when another movie is played on the screen. Itadori didn't bother reading the title, it was a plain one about a zombie apocalypse that got him extremely bored, yet he kept watching still so the plushie didn't punch him in the face again; he's been keeping a record since all his last cursed energy training lessons were a sucess to this day. When his head started nodding and eyelids dropping Itadori can't remember well, about fourty five minutes of movie perhaps? Make it fifty, the second slumber took over his body completely.

When he awoke once again, it was near midnight, the clock on the wall told him so. He also noticed a soft and warm surface supporting his head, figures, it's your shoulder he's resting into, he feels an arm around his own shoulders and your cheek placed upon his hair.

"Hey, it's late." You immediately notices he's awake, calling out softly. "You should sleep on your room, or something, better to your spine."

He chuckles when you poke his side. "But I'm comfortable here."

"I'm surprised, you just met me today, and now is sleeping on my shoulder."

"I'm not, that happens often to me."

"Sleeping on people's shoulders?"

"No! Making friends quickly." Itadori likes your gentle warmth, your hug, everything makes him feel at home. "I met two more people before you for two weeks, but they can't see me, because I'm dead."

"So I'll keep you company, that's my new mission."

His eyes widen at that, a oh so little blush covering the tip of his ears.

"For how many time I slept anyway?" He asks.

"About two- no, three hours. You missed two movies, and this one is about to end."

"And you stayed here the whole time?" He motions to your shoulder.

"Yep. That reminds me I gotta pee."

Itadori grumbles, but quickly lifts himself off you, respecting your needs. That gives him some time to look around, he notices Ino is gone, and the plushie sits quietly at the other side of the couch, unmoving.

"Y/N! How did you manage to make it quiet down?" He's beyond bafflet.

"...que."

"What!"

"I said!" You arrive quickly at the doorframe, hands still wet from when you washed them. "I used my innate technique."

"Oh! How is it like?"

"It's kinda funny, gimme a moment." You left to wipe off your hands, coming back in a second. "So, just like Shoko, I produce reverse curse energy, but it's quite different than hers, I can't heal people. That's why we often call it positive energy instead. I can use it to soothe off negative energy, so the bear has no cursed energy right now."

"How does it works on people?" He felt very curious about everything, asking away like a kid.

"Since everyone has negative energy, it just makes you sleepy really. But when it comes to curses it's really practical, I can either weaken it or, if the curse is like grade three or four, I can slap them off existence completely by wiping all their energy." You were naturally proud of having a such versatile power, your own energy swirling with pride around you.

"That sounds amazing! Is it why I fell asleep though?"

"Nah, only if I did it on purpose. I guess you were just tired, hope you don't mind I decided to let you rest today."

"No way, it was a good nap."

You nodded. "By the way, Ino left to attend to a drinking party, he paid for our food."

"Drinking? Is he old?"

"Yeah, he's twenty." You chuckled, already expecting that kind of reaction.

"No way! He looks young just like us!"

"That's totally my reaction after I learned he's twenty!"

After that day, you started visiting Itadori weekly to daily, after exchanging numbers he made a little group with you and Ino, naming it the "Nanami trio". But really, he exchanges more texts with you in private, be them memes, cool images he wish to share, etcetera. Although, Ino wasn't left excluded, he ofter brough his xbox to connect to Itadori's tv room and you all would spend hours playing together; he just didn't spend much time with both of you as much. And that was okay.

For a few days, your connection with Itadori died down when he didn't reply to your texts. They would remain unread for some time, the longest being half a day, until he would spam apologies then move on with the topic. That became a routine until one day when you came over to check on Itadori unnanounced, needin to ease off your worries about the boy, only to find him sobbing in the middle of a hallway, staring ahead and beyond, his back to you.

"Ita-?"

"Egh!" Startled, he scrambled to wipe his eyes, turning to you. "H-hey, um, hi."

"What happened?"

"I- he-" His eyes didn't met yours, knuckles white in a death grip. You notice he has a few bandages thrown over his face and arms. The way his shoulders are drawn, as if he wants to shrink into himself is something you've experienced before.

"Something hard to talk about?"

He nods almost immediately, head still facing down.

"It's alright, come with me." You reach for his hands, grimacing slightly when his forceful grip is now on your hand, yet you don't comment on it. He follows you through the state wordlessly.

You two stop on the same tv room, sitting down on the couch. You then guide his head to your shoulder, gently massaging his scalp with the free hand.

"It's alright."

Those two words are chanted like a prayer for the next half hour, at some point, Itadori twisted his body towards yours and unknowingly caged you between him and the sofa arm. He embraced you with a force you didn't have in you, like he didn't want to lose one another. Painful or not, not a muscle moved on your body. He needed a shoulder to cry on.

Thirty minutes passed like seconds, you peered down only to find the boy confortably napping against your bosom; at some point you just became the cold side of the pillow to him. That's alright. It brings you joy to be the mom friend anyways. So you decided to join the sleepland aswell, arms still secured around his shoulders and the back of his head.

It feels like the nap hasn't been long, though, because you can feel Itadori's grip loosening and therefore, you're awake.

"Sorry if I broke any bones, in advance."

"Wow, and you only warn me now."

He laughs at your comeback, hands still secured around your waist.

"I'm surprised you let me uh, cuddle you for comfort - and sleep. I don't understand it? You just make me sleepy." He rambled, keeping eye contact with you while his head still rests on your chest.

"That's a piece of cake when you have younger siblings who seek for you every night they get a nightmare."

"Does that mean I can come to you again if I have a nightmare?" There it is, his togepi-kirby cutesy face.

"Are you four?"

"That's mean!" Itadori blushed, squeezing you on his arms. "I like the contact. It puts me at ease."

"Mm, do you want to talk about it?"

He gulped. "No, not really."

Your peach haired friend remained silent, and so did you. It seems he doesn't intend in letting you go soon, or he just really forgot to mention it. It gives them time to think, your younger sisted used to do that sometimes, back in Kyoto.

"Y/N, wanna watch anything?"

"Sure, have you watched Parasyte before?"

"No, let's give it a try then!" Itadori glances at the remote, then back at you - making you confused over his hesitation to move. He notices you noticed it, chuckling nervously. "To be honest, I don't wanna let go."

"It's hurting my back."

"SORRY I'M SORRY!" He jumped away from you like a cat would jolt away from a cucumber, making you snicker.

"It's okay, I just wanted to change positions."

And to tease you, but he didn't need to know that part.

He glared at you with a small pout, typing the initials of Parasyte on the search bar. Outside his line of vision, you were grinning like a idiot, his sweeteness took a tow on you. All the people of Tokyo you met really held a way different spirit from your classmates in Kyoto, Itadori being the nicest of all. It's surprising him being Sukuna's vessel to begin with; being honest, you felt drawn by it.

"Y/N, it's startiiiiing." He cut your daydreaming short, slumping on your side and propping his head on your shoulder.

"This again?" You throw an arm around his shoulders, very much like the first time he cuddled himself on you.

"Don't blame me, you're the one who wanted to change positions. Guess I'll just make some alterations since I'm awake this time!" One of his arms went behind your back and circled your waist, hand resting at your hip.

"It's definely different, since the other time you drooled on me."

"Hhgh, okay okay! Let me enjoy this." For perhaps the actual first time, you're able to watch without exchanging words with one another.

And this time, it's you who's head loll to the side, nose buried on his soft rose perfumed hair. Itadori doesn't comment on it yet, his free hand moves under your legs to lift your whole body up efortlessly when he senses you have fallen asleep.

"I remember you said it's bad for my spine, I wouldn't mind it... yours however."

The boy makes a beeline to the guest room, he sighs when there is no choice but open the door with his foot. Inside, he places you carefully in the soft bed.

Before he could leave, a hand reaches up for his sleeve.

"Itadori," He turned, looking at you. "Make me company?"

He giggles softly - you think it sounds like a highschool girl. "You should start calling me by my first name!" Itadori rambles as he climbs on the bed, arms wrapping around your waist in a motion you're familiar with.

"Yuuji, I'm tired, let me sleep."

"But I wanna talk more..." He pouts. "Also, are we, um, dating?"

You wriggle around, bringing his head down to peck on his forehead, teasing. "Correction, I want to date you."

"Uh, oh." A blush coats his face so quickly, you'd say someone dumped a bucket of red paint on his face.

"Is that a no?"

"No!"

"So it is a no."

"Christ, will you stop teasing for a second, I'm trying to talk here." He makes an angry version of his togepi-kirby face, you can't help but grin.

"You amuse me, but okay. I'll do it for you."

"Thanks." He blinks, the blush slowly fading away. "You know, I lied, not about the contact, I like the contact nonetheless-"

His hand moves to play with yours, such as tapping his tips against yours, or meassuring the palms.

"-it's you who brings me comfort."

It's also your turn to blush, that line was seriously charming.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, we're dating now." You respond, a little eagerly. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

This is the best person I could ask for, Itadori thinks, keeping his eyes open as yours shut during the kiss, whom I won't change for anything else in this world.

When you both separate, Itadori feels drowsy and sleepy. His face fits perfectly on your shoulder as always.

"Goodnight, my favorite person."

[deanandthephantoms]

We're a Perfect Harmony PT.3 - Reader x Charlie

This is Chapter 3 of my Perfect Harmony story. You can read Chapter 1 here and Chapter 2 here if you haven't yet. In this chapter we'll see what life after camp is like for y/n and Charlie.. Enjoy!

Missing you more than i should..

When I got home I was overwhelmed by the amount of silence in my home. I used to love being home, curling up on the couch watching a movie or reading a book in silence. I hated loud, crowded places and now I actually missed it? What happened to me? Who am I?! I thought to myself..

“Y/N is that you?” I heard my mom call out from the living room. “Hi mom!” i said while walking up to her and giving her a big hug. “How are you doing honey? How was it?” I hadn’t really spoken to my mom at all during the week, I had let her know once that I was doing alright and that was basically it. “It was incredible mom. I had the best group of people surrounding me..” and so I told her everything about my new group of friends and everything we had done during the week.. “Thanks for making me go mom.” “You’re glowing Y/N! I’m so happy you had such a good time. I honestly felt bad for making you go when I saw how nervous you were.” “yeah.. I kind of hated you for that.. but I guess sometimes mom really does know best.” After talking to my mom I decided to lay down for a bit all those late night chill sessions with Charlie and a night of not sleeping at all was really taking it’s toll, I don’t think I had ever been this tired before. I fell asleep with a smile on my face only to wake up the next freaking day at 10am. I slept for 15 hours I really had been tired.. I picked up my phone to see I was indeed added to the girls group chat, I was also in a chat with our entire camp group and Charlie had , like he promised, sent me a private text. Seeing that put a smile on my face. Now I know what you’re thinking.. but I really just liked him as a friend that’s all. I opened his message.

“Good morning Nugget! On a scale of 1 to 100% dead.. how tired are you?” I raised my eyebrow at the nugget part, no idea where that was coming from. Without hesitation I replied.. “ Hellllooooo! Nugget? What’s up with that? Very bold of you to assume that I was even tired to begin with by the way.. but to answer your question, I have slept for 15 hours.. that says something doesn’t it?” I was about to put my phone down assuming Charlie would take his sweet time to reply. But no. the 3 dots that told me he was typing appeared almost instantly and  seconds later this popped up on my screen; “15 HOURS?! Really? Are you sure you weren’t dead and came back to life or something? I thought I was bad with my 12 hours.. I’m blaming you for the fact I’m so tired by the way.” He’s blaming me?! Excuse me? “Pardon? What? What did I do?!” “You kept me up till at least 3am every night only to be woken up again at 7am.. i’ve never been so tired coming home after camp. So yes I’m blaming you Nugget.” “The nugget again? Really? Anyway. I’m not sorry. You kept ME up actually. I’m blaming you Charlie.” “Yes Nugget. You mentioned once you like nuggets. I’m calling you nugget now. You can’t stop me. Oh and I’m not sorry either 😉” “Riiight. Don’t expect me to start calling you after one of your gross foods.. but all jokes aside, i’m glad you’re not sorry. I mean, all those late nights might be one of my favorite things of last week.”  “Really? I genuinely thought I annoyed the shit out of you.” That text made me laugh. “Don’t get your hopes up Gillespie. You sure did. Apparently you’re just the type of guy who gets away with it.” I teased. “Ouch.. that hurt. :( “ is all I got as a reply. Which caused my brain to go in full panic mode, did I just really hurt my new friend? Oh god what if this ruined it all? As fast I could I sent him “I’m sorry! I’m just kidding! You know that right?! You didn’t annoy me at all dude, in fact you did the opposite you made me feel super chill and comfortable..” I stared at my screen for what felt like hours, in reality it was probably more like 5 minutes but I got no reply..

I sighed deciding to ignore my own stupid actions I got up from my bed and went downstairs making myself some breakfast. Sitting down at the table I actually found myself missing the man that had sat opposite of me the entire week. I was missing the man that made me feel sick with his strange food combinations. Missing the man that called me out for looking dead after 3 hours of sleep. Missing the man that annoyed me with how loud he was so early in the morning. Don’t get me wrong I missed the others as well they had all, in their own way, made that week a very good week for me. I had just connected with Charlie in a different way, he seemed to really get me, he understood where I was coming from. He had not once judged me, he made me come out of my comfort zone.. My phone buzzed on the table, my hand flew straight to it and picked it up only to see Charlie had replied. I felt my heart speed up and started feeling very nervous. Why was this happening? why was i scared for his reply? We had been teasing each other right from the start. This could not have been so bad that I ruined everything, right?!

With a deep sigh I opened our chat back up. “Y/N calm down. I know. I was just kidding too! Good to know I made you feel that way though. You do realize you did the same for me right? You made me feel better when I was feeling down. I really appreciate that.” I couldn’t help but let out a big sigh of relief. Thank god everything was alright. Why did I care so much? I had known this man for 8 days. Why was I already so afraid of ruining this friendship? “Charlie, I swear to god, you can never do that to me again! I thought I ruined it all..” I typed, but deleted. I didn’t want him to know a simple joke made me go into full panic mode, he’ll think I’m crazy.. so instead I went with “ha-ha, very funny Gillespie. And hey, cheering each other up, that’s what friends are for right? 😊” “Yeah definitely. You didn’t have to do that though, you barely knew me. Yet seemed to know me better than the people I’ve known for years. You noticed things others didn’t notice or they just decided to ignore it. You didn’t. You’re a good friend Nugget. I’m thankful for getting a chance to meet and know you.”

Reading that made me feel al warm and fuzzy inside I just sat there at the kitchen table with a dumb goofy smile on my face. That’s when my mom walked in. “What are you smiling about?” “ohhh nah it’s nothing.” I simply replied, hoping my mom would buy it. Too bad for me my mom knew me longer than today. “It’s a boy, isn’t it?” “Mom! I.. eeh.. no?.. I mean.. well technically.. Yes. But no. Charlie is just a friend mom.” And I truly believed I felt that way, my mom clearly didn’t though ..”oh alright, well we’ll see.” She replied. Before leaving me once again to get back to her office. I directed my attention back to the screen “You’re a good friend too Charlie. I’m thankful my mom made me go to camp. Thankful I now can call a few amazing people my new friends. I really miss you guys. Is that weird?” “Thank your mom from me for making you go! 😉 And no, that’s not weird. We all feel that way after camp. Don’t worry the feeling will vanish over time and we’ll keep in touch through texts and facetime!” “Facetime huh? Why don’t we facetime later, you can thank my mom yourself haha!” i texted half jokingly but Charlie seemed to think it was a good idea. We kept sending text to each other the rest of day and I noticed I was looking forward to seeing his face again. I missed his bright smile, his facial expressions that said everything for me. His eyes that showed he was fully invested in whatever you’re telling him. I missed his hugs. They really were the best hugs I had ever had. I sighed at the thought of having to miss those for a whole year.. Can’t exactly hug through facetime, can you?

Later that night Charlie called me on facetime, accepting his call I saw his bright smile pop up on my screen. “Nuggeeettt!” he screamed at me sounding all excited. I couldn’t help but instantly feel happy and laugh at him. I refused to get used to that nickname but also decided not to fight him on it tonight. “Gillespieeeeeeee!” I just screamed back at him earning a big smile in return. “Soo, first things first, get me to your mom, I need to thank her.” “Your wish is my command sir!” I reply as I get up from my bed to find my mom. I find her in the livingroom on the couch. “Hey mom, Charlie wants to tell you something” I say while handing her the phone. “Hello Mrs.Y/L/N!” “Ah, so you’re Charlie! I’ve already heard quite a bit about you.” If looks could kill I would have killed my own mom right then and there.. “Yes.. that would be me. I just wanted to thank you for sending your daughter to camp. She has been a good friend to all of us.” My mom laughed “You’re welcome dear. Thank you for doing the same to her” My mom then handed me my phone back. Giving her one last glare I make my way back to my bedroom. “Sorry about that..” I say to Charlie while walking upstairs. “Sorry for what? Your mom seems lovely. No need to be sorry.” Thankful for the fact he apparently did not pick up on the whole ‘heard quite a bit about you.’ I let out big breath I apparently had been holding in.

I sat back down on my bed and luckily for me Charlie had grabbed his guitar “so. How about we continue our little tradition of singing? Name a song and we’ll sing it.” He said with the biggest smile. I was just glad I did not have to explain why I apologized and quickly started thinkin of a song. “Do you know High hopes by Kodaline? It’s not the happiest song, but it’s sooo good!” “I’m kind of offended by the fact you’re even asking me if I know it.. It’s actually one of the first songs I learned to play on this guitar.” And before I could apologize for offending him I heard the first chords of High hopes being played. As if we were still on camp we sang a few songs, granted it didn’t go as smooth thanks to delay in the video and such but still it was nice. After a few songs I heard my mom come up and calling out a good night. “Char.. I think I’m gonna have to go. My mom is going to bed so you know I gotta be quiet now…” “Nooo! don’t hang up just yet. We can still just talk for a bit right?” I was caught of guard by his plea for me to stay. “I, eh. Yeah. Yeah we can. Of course we can. Give me a second though. I’m gonna change into my PJ’s.” and with that I threw my phone on the bed, grabbing my oversized Rush t-shirt that basically functioned as a sleeping dress. “Nice ceiling you’ve got there nugget.” I heard Charlie call out. Giving him a chuckle as response. Once I changed into my PJ’s I picked my phone up and brought Charlie with me to the bathroom. “Loving the house tour Y/N, where are we going now?” “To the bathroom. I need to brush my teeth.” “oh right let me go do the same!” and he sprinted of with me to his own bathroom. About a minute later we were brushing our teeth together. causing us both to giggle at each others charming facial expressions.

After I was done I went back to my bedroom and crawled into bed making myself comfortable. “sooo I assume you don’t want to be here when I go pee right?” “Eeew Charles! No. Either hang up the phone or put me somewhere far away!” He laughed at me “Yeah thought so.  I’m not hanging up so let me just put you down on my bed.” “ Oof.. That also sounds a bit strange sir.. But sure. You do that.” “kinda does, doesn’t it?” he laughed “Okay, I’ll be back, don’t go anywhere.” And with that I was staring at Charlie’s ceiling waiting for him to come back.. which he did incredibly quickly.

Crawling into his own bed he picked me up only to instantly put me back down again."You actually waited for me!" He said while I could see him taking off his shirt nothing I had not seen before but still a sight I sure was not mad about. “of course i waited, why would i leave without saying goodbye?” i reply before Charlie fell back down on the bed and picked me back up, trying to get comfortable he was tossing and turning a bit. “You alright there, Charlie?” I said half teasingly. “Yeah, quite comfortable actually. You? I really like your shirt by the way.” Why did I feel myself starting to blush? Acting as if nothing was happening to me I replied in my chillest and coolest way; “Yeah I’m alright. Very comfortable as well actually. Nothing beats sleeping in your own bed right?” “I don’t know about that nugget, I could think of a thing or two I totally would pick over sleeping in my own bed.” “Really like what?” When I see a mischievous smile appear on his face i’m suddenly scared of the answer I’m about to get. “Oh you know..” He falls silent with that same damn smile on his face. When I raise an eyebrow at him he continues; . “You know, Sleeping in a tent at festivals, or just camping with some friends in a beautiful piece of nature or something.” i let out a sigh of relief “oh righttt. Yeah i’m fully on board with all of that.”

Charlie and I talked for another hour while we we’re both laying in our beds. At some point I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier, and I kept fighting it as hard as I could. I was enjoying this conversation way too much for me to go to sleep now. I totally believed I was hiding it from Charlie as well. I clearly didn’t though..“Hey Y/N?” “Mhhmm?” “You’re about to fall asleep aren’t you?” I’m silent for a while now really almost falling asleep. “Goodnight nugget.” I suddenly hear Charlie say softly. That wakes me back up a bit. “NO!” I clear my throat before continuing “I mean.. no I’m not tired..” “Oh really you’re not tired huh?” Charlie starts to imitate the way I had been acting and reacting the last 20 minutes. “okay okay Fine. Stop it Gillespie. You win, Nighty night Charles.” “night night Y/N. Talk to you again tomo.. well in a few hours,” He gives me one last sweet smile before I close my eyes and I hear Charlie hang up the phone right as I’m about to fall asleep. 

Charlie and I kept in contact like that every single day. We didn’t start our day without wishing each other a good morning and refused to go to bed without wishing each other a goodnight and giving each other a virtual hug. During our schooldays we took every free second to text and we made sure to hype each other up when something important had to be done. Late nights were still being made but the few hours of sleep never seemed to bother me. I was basically running on 4 to 5 hours of sleep each day and was doing just fine. i didn’t even come close to feeling tired and was ready to do it all over again the next day. Months passed spending my time just like that..

I had been in contact with all of them on the regular and today i was actually meeting up with Madison who lived somewhat close to me. I was so excited to see her again. We had agreed to meet at a train station and that’s where I was now waiting for her to arrive. Y/N! I hear Madison yell out. I look in the direction the voice was coming from, I see Madison and run up to her to embrace her in a hug. "Madiiiiii! I missed you! How youu doing?" I let go of her and she laughs at me. "How you doin? Charlie, is that you? " Leaving no room for me to defend myself she continues "kidding, I'm great! How are youu giiirl?" while catching up on how life has been we walk to the restaurant where we had made lunch reservations.

“Sooo” Madison said once we were sat at our table. “ Soo.. what?” i asked the girl who was grinning at me. “ Sooo what’s up with you and Charlie?” i give her a confused look.”What do you mean? We’re friends, Mads. You already knew that though..” Madi laughs at me. “ Really Y/N? That’s all you’re giving me? I know you and Charlie have been talking pretty much non-stop..” I can feel the blood flowing to my cheeks when I say “Well yeah, yeah we have. And yes I have enjoyed every minute of that. But that doesn’t mean anything is going on between us. We just get along very well. Besides, he’s still with Emma so I’m sorry to disappoint you but we’re just friends..” Madi just looks at me for a while before a smile spreads on her face.” What?” I ask her. “ You like him.” She simply states with the biggest smile.” What?! Mads I just told you..” I blurt out a little too loud and a little too fast to actually be somewhat convincing.. causing Madison to laugh at me again. “ Girl you soooo do! “

By now I feel like I'm looking like a tomato, bright red, and i don’t even know why. I truly believed I liked Charlie as a friend, nothing more nothing less. Sure he was the sweetest man i had ever met and sure he believed in me like no one had ever done. and yes we had this incredible connection and were on the same wavelength on so many topics. Yes he got me, yes I felt safe enough to fully be myself and fully be honest with him about everything. aaaand yes he was goood looking. But i didn’t like him like that. I Couldn’t. He was with Emma. Me and him were just friends. I would not let myself get a crush on this guy. It would ruin everything. “ Look Mads. I’m not gonna lie. I do miss hanging out with him in real life and Charlie does make me very happy. But i don’t like him like that. He’s just a good friend to me.” Madison clearly was not convinced.”Sure, keep telling yourself that Y/N.”

And I did. In the following weeks I kept telling myself I didn't like him. I just missed him that was all. The more I talked to Charlie and the more the girls teased me about liking him the less I started to believe my own excuses. Untill the day i couldn’t deny it any longer. I totally liked Charlie more than a friend..

- read chapter 4 here

[everybodyscupoftea]

let it snow

college isaac x reader

finals week hell capped off with the first snow of the season

(warnings: mentions of not taking care of yourself during finals - lack of sleep, over-caffeinating, etc; cursing; very little editing)

Finals week fall of your third year was ugly. It was a grueling combination of coffee and protein bars with absolutely no sleep. There was a table you’d managed to claim on the third floor of your campus’s library, and the only time you left was for an ill-advised gym trip to wake yourself up.

Isaac didn’t like the silence of the third floor like you did, so he’d been working with some of the kids in his major. You texted him a few times a day, but for the most part, you’d been reworking every single homework assignment you’d been given all semester.

Mid-way through the week, you made a trip to Taco Bell for actual food that wasn’t toast or a protein bar, much to Isaac’s displeasure. He watched you eating it with a weird look, so you finally asked, “What?”

“How much have you eaten this week?”

“Lots of protein bars and breakfast.”

“And instead of letting me cook something good for you tonight, you got fast food?”

“Yep. Braincells are overworked, so I didn’t think that far ahead.”

Stiles was sitting on the opposite end of the table, working on a research paper for his criminal justice course, and snorted, “Dude, she’d rather Taco Bell than your cooking.”

“That’s not true, I definitely said I forgot.” you muttered, trying to defend him.

He shrugged, “That’s not what I heard.”

Isaac rolled his eyes and shoved Stiles’s shoulder, “Fuck off, dude.”

“Who’s editing your Shakespeare paper? Me. Show some respect.”

“Stiles makes a point,” you responded, taking the last bite of your quesadilla before breaking off into a large yawn. 

The furrow between Isaac’s brow was back when he looked at you, and you stood up, rolling your shoulders out, ready to go back to the library to work through another set of structures homework.

“Hey, when’s the last time you slept?” Stiles asked, shutting his computer gently.

“Like,” you paused, trying to think, “last night.”

Immediately, Isaac chipped in, “How long?”

“Three hours?”

“And the night before?” Stiles was walking over to you.

“Oh, no sleep that night. Got sucked into some geotech homework and the next thing I knew it was 6 a.m. So I went to the gym to get some endorphins going, had some breakfast, and got another coffee.”

“You should sleep,” Isaac told you.

“Only two more tests, and then I can rest.”

Stiles sighed, “At least take a shower.”

“Actually, that would be great.”

Isaac nodded, and you could tell he was already trying to figure out the best way to get you to stay the night. You were determined to power through for a bit. 

Getting out of the shower, feeling significantly more alive, you put on the clothes Isaac had left for you, and started toweling your hair off. You checked the outside temperature, wincing when you saw how fucking cold it was, and started layering back up.

Isaac was sitting on the couch, scrolling through Netflix, when you walked out. He jumped up, “Where are you going?”

“Library for a few hours and then bed.”

“What time is your first test tomorrow?”

You sighed, trying to think, “Fuck, I need to check. I think 10:30 in the morning.”

“What class?”

With a grimace, you answered, “Structures.”

He looked like he didn’t really want to let you go, but he knew you’d be really upset if he tried to keep you back. Nodding, he smiled softly, “Text me after your test tomorrow.”

“I will.”

Putting a hand on his shoulder for balance, you rose up on your tiptoes to give him a goodbye kiss. When you pulled apart, Isaac reached over and grabbed a beanie from the hook next to the door, gently putting it on your head, tugging it down to cover your ears.

“Don’t want you to get sick,” he flicked your nose.

You clutched your chest dramatically, “My hero.”

He sighed, feigning exasperation, and nudged you out the door, “Go finish the semester.”

-

Structures and geotech, both on the same day, kicked your ass. After the geotech final at 2:00, you stumbled out of the classroom, eyes practically shutting. You weren’t sure that you could make the drive back to your apartment.

Taking one more sip of coffee to power through, and after a few minutes, pulled out your phone. Isaac’s apartment was fairly close to the civil engineering building, so you decided to call to see if you could crash there.

“Isaac,” you started when he answered.

“Hey, bub.”

“Can I stay at your place?”

“Yeah of course,” you heard ruffling in the background and suddenly his voice got louder, “are you close?”

“Walking that way. I don’t think I should drive back to my apartment.”

“Have you eaten today?”

“Fuck,” you muttered, “I was gonna pick something up on my way home, but I forgot.”

“No worries,” he was quick to reassure, “I have plenty of food here for you.”

“God, you’re the best.”

He stuttered a few times, and you could practically feel his blush through the phone, “Hurry up,” was his weak response, and you laughed, hanging up.

The walk was easier after that, though the sky was grey and the wind was picking up. You frowned, pulling your jacket tighter around you, and Isaac’s hat lower on your head. It took about three seconds for him to answer after you knocked, dressed exactly the same as the day before.

He had a plate ready for you, leftover fried rice and chicken, and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Before you could start eating, he asked, “How were your tests?”

“Geotech was easier, but structures melted my brain in the morning, so who actually knows. What about your Shakespeare essay?”

“Stiles read it over for me last night and I submitted it online and dropped it off this morning. Been watching Netflix since then.”

You yawned again, stretching out with the hand not holding your plate, and walked over to the couch to sit down. Isaac sat next to you and hit play on whatever movie he’d been watching. Curling up, you dug in.

-

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. You faintly remembered dozing off during the movie, plate still in your lap, before Isaac woke you up and made you go to bed. He woke you up once more when he climbed in next to you.

 The third and final time you woke up, Isaac was gone. It was light outside, grey like snow was coming, and you had no clue what time it was, just that you were hungry again. You heard a burst of loud laughter before someone shushed them, equally loudly.

WIth a laugh, you climbed out of bed, heading to the bathroom connected to his room to brush your teeth and wash your face. Luckily, the clothes you’d left the night before were washed and sitting on his dresser, so you were able to change.

Scott and Stiles were on the couch, playing COD, when you finally walked out. Stiles hit pause and whistled, “Damn, look who managed to resurrect herself.”

“Looks pretty good for a dead bitch,” you joked back.

Isaac was in the kitchen, and you went over to see what he was cooking. He handed you a mug with a smile, “It’s hot chocolate. Figure you’ve had enough caffeine for a whole month this week. There is some coffee in the recipe, I saw it online.”

Taking a sip, you hummed, “This is fantastic.”

He beamed, “I’m glad you like it. I’m making taco soup for tonight, did you want a sandwich?”

“That would be great.”

Hopping up on the counter, you swung your legs back and forth and watched him make you a grilled cheese just the way you like it, tomatoes and everything. Isaac handed it over and ruffled your hair gently, “Eat up.”

“Very nutritious,” you commented before taking a bite.

He laughed, “I’ll make you eat veggies later. I want to go outside first, it snowed.”

“Oh my god, actually?” you gasped.

Leaning against the counter next to you, he nodded, “First of the year.”

“What time is it?” you finally remembered to ask between bites.

“3:00 in the afternoon. I texted your roommate while you were asleep to let her know you were alive.”

“Oh shit, thanks.”

Scott wandered into the kitchen, “So, we going outside soon?”

“We need to get out there before it gets all ugly,” Stiles added from where he was still on the couch.

“Let’s fucking go,” you hopped off the counter, eating your last bite.

The four of you traipsed outside after bundling up. There were a few other people outside walking around, a group of girls taking pictures under a really pretty snow-covered tree, and then your group making noise and kicking at the snow.

“I can’t take you guys anywhere,” you snorted when Stiles slipped and fell on his ass.

“God damn,” he muttered, “that hurt.”

Scott helped him up and immediately shoved a handful of snow down his shirt. Stiles squealed, twisting away from him, cursing loudly. You and Isaac laughed, his arm draped over your shoulder, until Scott turned your way with two more handfuls.

“If you put that down my shirt,” you warned, “I’m calling your mom.”

“You won’t.”

“Fuckin bet, bud.”

He dropped one hand slowly and turned to Isaac, “You’re on your own.”

While Scott chased Isaac across the parking lot, Stiles walked over toward the edge of the sidewalk, you following closely behind, interested to see what he was going to do with the mischievous look on his face.

With his foot, Stiles spelled out penis in the snow.

“Oh that’s mature.”

He glared at you, “Do better, I dare you.”

After a few seconds of thought, you spelled out send nudes and he had to concede defeat. Isaac came back a few seconds later, panting, cheeks red, and looked down, “Cute.”

“Thanks. Should I leave my Snap too?”

He rolled his eyes, “No.”

“You’re probably right. I have no interest in seeing an unsolicited dick pic this close to Christmas.”

“Just this close to Christmas?” Scott asked, “You’re okay with it the rest of the year?”

You paused, “Well no. Don’t make fun of me, my single braincell is still recovering.”

Stiles snorted, “Head empty snow day.”

“My mom will want a picture,” you told them, “set up the timer.”

It took five attempts, but you finally got one you were happy with. Isaac leaned over your shoulder, “Tell your mom I said hey.”

“Will do,” you muttered, looking at it again.

Scott stood on the right, eyes squinted with a wide smile, Isaac a bit behind him, one arm over Scott’s shoulder, one around you. Isaac’s smile was soft, looking straight at you. Stiles stood on your left, your arm wrapped around his shoulder, his hand reaching for yours, cheeky grin on his face while you glared playfully at him.

“Come on,” Stiles yelled, halfway up the stairs back to their apartment, “hot chocolate awaits!”

You hit send and followed after them, ready for another mug.

~

day eleven of @obxmermaid​‘s holiday challenge: playing in the snow

[waywardbeanie]

A Man of Letters - Chapter Seven

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader Summary: It started as a simple hunt for Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean didn’t realize that this single case would change his life forever. Now they are on the biggest mission of their lives, and without the use of cellphones, the only way he can communicate with the love of his life is through old fashioned letter writing. He has done everything in his power to keep her safe, but will it be enough? Word Count: 6931 ish

Series Warnings: Language, slow burn, angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fluff, SPN typical violence (individual chapters will contain relevant warnings) a little meta Chapter Warning: humor (Is that really a warning?) and a little bit of sweet.(Always), angst, spicy (smut), unprotected (ish) sex

A/N: I want to thank everyone who has read so far, thank you for sticking with me!  All of the comments and reblogs mean so very much! THANK YOU!

Thank you to my beta’s @winchest09 and @whatareyousearchingfordean​ without them I would be sunk!

MASTERLIST A Man of Letters

If you’d like to be tagged, my list is open. Just send me an ask HERE: **Make sure you check out the playlist, it is updated every chapter and an essential part of the story**

Spotify Playlist : A Man of Letters

Catch up here >>>>>>> A Man of Letters Masterlist

This series is ongoing!

No Gif’s are mine

                                   Dean “Tongue Magician” Winchester                                                     PO Box 323                                               Sioux Falls, SD 57101

Dear D,

You were right, I got both letters the same day. It was a really nice surprise. I hope that “Sam” likes the brownies. I’m sure they are stale, but I made enough for everyone, so please share them because I know they are for you. Sam literally eats one brownie when I make them. Work has picked up, and my schedule is full most days. I’m happy to be busy when you are gone, it makes the days go by faster, but my bed is too big and empty without you. I’ve slept on the couch a few times since you’ve been gone, I just leave the pillows on, and I can almost convince myself you are here.

I was thinking about the couch night, but now you have me thinking about the bed night, and damn, you are too far away to dwell on that for too long! Also, do not talk to me about me moaning your name in letters because I swear to God I will write you a note that you will have you locking yourself in Baby to read!

Things are pretty quiet here as usual. I went to the farmers market today and bought vegetables. I’m trying to figure out some new recipes to try. I know you said that you were up for anything, just no more butter beans because they taste like mud (which, for the record, they do not!), so we will see what I can do. I saw Mark from the garage there, and he told me to tell you “Hello” and that he is almost finished with the body of the 1971 Plymouth Hemi Cuda. He wondered when you would be back because he could use your help with the new paint job. I told him that the job you had was going to last longer than most but that I’m sure as soon as you got into town that you would help him.

D, I know we talked about the future before, but are you sure you want to walk away? I’m here no matter what, I’m not going anywhere. You need to be sure this is what you want to do for you. With that being said, I am selfish enough to say I want nothing more than to fall asleep in your arms every night and to wake up next to you each morning. I’m glad you wrote it in a letter because I can read it over and over. Sometimes, when you are gone, I just start questioning things and can be a bit insecure about all of it, but you knew that already.

I guess I should wrap this up, I’m sorry you guys are doing more research, but, as always it will pay off in the end. I’m not surprised you set up training for everyone, that is definitely your thing, and it gives you an excuse not to read those dusty books. You guys be safe and come back soon. I miss your face.

I Love You, Your Initial

3 Years Ago

They were a little over halfway back to the bunker, driving through Hastings, Nebraska, and Sam started to worry. Dean had not spoken 5 words this entire trip. He didn’t even want snacks when they stopped for gas. They have been driving for almost two hours, the radio on low, the only thing consistent is the tapping of his thumb on the top of the steering wheel, lost in his own thoughts.

“Dean.” He broke the silence

“Huh?” pulling himself from his thoughts, glancing at Sam.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?”

“What? Nothing,” raising his eyebrows, he shook his head briefly.

Flicking his eyes to the backseat, Sam confirmed the vamp was still out cold. “Ok, I’ll start. I know that you knew where these vamps were hiding out long before I told you. Instead of helping me, you continued to point me in the wrong direction.”

He rubbed his hand down his face with equal amounts of irritation and embarrassment. “Sammy, it’s not like that I-,”

Annoyed Sam cut him off, “Dude, it is exactly like that, but the funny part is I’m not even mad anymore.”

“Fine, you know I don’t want to talk about this, but you get one question and one answer and don’t get all chick flick about it either because that’s not happening.”

“Great,” Sam smirked, “What’s Y/N’s favorite color?”

Without missing a beat, Dean answered, “It’s a tie between navy blue and dark grey.”

Sam threw his head back with a laugh. Dean’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile, turning up the radio as “Ramblin’ Man” by The Allman Brothers blared through the speakers. Laying his foot on the gas pedal, a little heavier to get back to the bunker to get answers from the comatose vamp tied up in the back seat. 

Dean and Sam had left Y/N’s house 2 days ago. The first 24 hours she didn’t go anywhere without her phone, that got old quickly. She began to feel like it was a leash; finally, she went about her day and left it plugged in on her nightstand. Today was Saturday, she didn’t have any clients this morning; instead, it was all the things to catch up from the week. Mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, stripping the sheets, and doing laundry.

She put her hair in a messy bun, threw on her Neil Diamond t-shirt with denim shorts, grabbed her BlueTooth headphones, linking them to her tablet, and set it outside on the deck and connected it to her playlist. Greta Van Fleet’s “Highway Tune” burst into her ears as she yanked the pulley to start the lawnmower. She chuckled to herself as she began to mow the backyard. Dean had mentioned a few times that he wanted to do it, but that was not going to happen. She had put them both out enough, and besides, it was a good exercise for her. Finishing up in a little over an hour, she put away the lawn equipment, grabbed a bottle of water from the “beer fridge” in the garage, and jumped in the Jeep. She wanted to head to two destinations,  the grocery store and the gardening store to buy  more plants and flowers. Working in the yard kept her hands and mind busy, and right now, that is precisely what she needed.

As she was perusing the freezer section for her favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor,  she ran into her friend Jennifer. They had met just a few weeks after Y/N moved to Lincoln and they had become fast friends. After a brief hug, they agreed to meet later on that evening for drinks on Y/N’s back deck to catch up. She stopped and bought some more daisies and headed back home, looking forward to spending the evening with her friend.

After planting the flowers, she ran in the house to quickly shower and wash her hair, scrubbing off the dirt and grime of the day. Finishing up, she wrapped her hair in a towel and dried off when she noticed Dean’s black flannel hanging on the door hook. He’d accidentally left it behind the last time he was here. Walking over, she brushed her fingers lightly over the material and as she brought it closer to her nose, she could still smell his woodsy maleness clinging to the fabric. She rested her head against the door, thinking about how much she missed him already and realizing how ridiculous it sounded.

With a sigh, she left the bathroom walking down the hall to her bedroom, pausing she looked at her phone lying face down on the nightstand. She was torn; part of her wanted to see if Dean had called or texted, but an overwhelming part did not want to be disappointed when he didn’t. She made a deal with herself, she would get dressed and dry her hair, and THEN she would look at it. Y/N did silly bargaining things like this with herself all the time, almost like bargaining with the Gods to turn the odds in her favor. She pulled on a pair of grey shorts and a and white Garth Brooks shirt, chuckling to herself, thinking of when Dean accused her of having more band shirts than he did.

Sitting in front of her mirror with her flat paddle brush, she began drying her hair in pieces, after finishing she put on a bit of mascara, eyeliner, and colored lip balm. Smiling at herself in the mirror, she was pleased with the results, standing with a huff, Y/N went to check her phone. Picking it up, she expected nothing. However, she slowly lowered herself to the bed as her screen lit up, her eyes growing wider with every missed notification.

Dean 3 Missed calls

Dean: Hey, Babe, been crazy with you know what. Just wanted to hear your voice.

Dean 4 Missed calls

Sam 1 Missed call

Dean: Y/N. Is everything ok? Call me when you get this.

Dean 2 Missed calls Sam: Tink, would you PLEASE call Dean? I might kill him soon if you don’t. Jennifer 1 Missed Call Dean: ok, I’m trying to keep my shit together right now, I’m FUCKING WORRIED. I’m just telling you right now if I don’t hear back from you in 2 hours I’m driving back.

Just then, her phone lit up in her hand, Dean’s face popping up, the ring scaring her so bad she dropped the phone. She scrambled to pick it up, pushing the speaker button quickly. “Hello?”

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice boomed through the speaker.

“Hey Dean, I’m so sorry-” she began.

Dean cut her off, “Are you good? Jesus Fuck, I was like a crazy person down here. You’re good, right? I mean you are answering the phone, so you’re alright. Right?” She could hear a slamming car door in the background.

“Dean!” she raised her voice to get his attention, “I’m fine I just left my phone plugged in all day, and I was busy.”

“Shit, right.” She could hear him running his hand over his scruff, “I’m sorry Babe, I know, I sound like a lunatic. We just haven’t been able to get anything out of this vamp, when you didn’t answer, my mind just started going to a dark place.”

“I promise, I’m really fine,” she soothed, “I mowed the lawn and went to the grocery and bought some flowers; just busy. I even saw my friend Jennifer today. She’s coming over tonight, and we are going to sit on the deck and have a couple beers.”

“Honestly, that sounds great Y/N/N, I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you to be careful. We don’t know who sent those vamps yet, and until we do, you just need to watch your back.”

She didn’t want to roll her eyes, but she couldn’t help it. There were only so many ways she could reassure him, she didn’t want Dean to worry about her, Y/N just living her life, maybe she was naïve. Hell, no one has worried about her since her parents’ death. It was a strange feeling.

“Dean,” she began, “What can I do to make you feel better?”

She could almost hear the sheepish shrug in his voice “I don’t know” pulling himself out of that quickly, his voice became stronger. “Could you just carry your damn phone with you?”

Dean heard the laughter through his phone, and he couldn’t help but smile, hearing her laugh warmed his insides. “Of course, I will! I do have a question for you, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Were you really going to drive back up here if I didn’t answer?” The silence on the phone went on for so long that she had to double-check to be sure they weren’t disconnected. “Dean?”

“Yeah,” came a gruff reply, “I was in the garage when I thought I would call you one more time before I left.”

“Oh Dean, I’m sorry.” Guilt niggled at her as she thought of him dropping his plans.

“Y/N, maybe I overreacted a little, but I’m so far away that, if shit went down, It would take me 2 ½ hours to get there.”

“I’m just living, Dean, but I will be careful, I swear. I don’t want you to worry about me. You have enough to worry about without adding me to it.”

Oh, Babe,” he chuckled, “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

“Maybe.” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“So, I thought I would come back up on Thursday night if that’s ok.”

“More than,” she replied with a soft smile, “I miss you.”

“Same,” he replied gruffly, “see you Thursday, then.”

“Bye, Dean,” she whispered. She pushed the end button and flopped back on the bed, heart pounding in her chest.

She missed him, but the idea of him coming back had her stomach in knots. There was no doubt in her mind that she was going to have sex with him when he came back. She could barely keep herself in check before he left. It had been a long time since she had been intimate with anyone, what if she forgot how? She had been fine just shoving her sexual frustrations to the bottom of her priority list, life got its hooks in her, she was more interested in getting her business off the ground, fixing up her house and making a life for herself. He was the first person in recent memory who made her look twice. Now he was coming to stay with her. This time she knew that the couch was not going to cut it.

Dean’s POV

Bracing his forearms on the driver’s side window frame of Baby, he tossed the phone on her roof with a sigh. It’s taking all of his internal strength not to jump in the car right now and head back to Lincoln. In his mind, he knows that she is safe, but his chest still ached. This is why he didn’t involve himself in this type of bullshit. Sticking to the random hook up fitted his life. What the hell was he thinking, dragging her deeper into a life that she has no business being within a 1000 feet of? She is too sweet to get involved in his shit show of life. He was tossed into it the day his mother was roasted on the ceiling. Y/N deserves so much better than he could ever offer. If he had a brain cell left in his head, he would man up and text her right now to tell her to forget it, he wasn’t returning to Lincoln. He and Sam would track down whoever was after her and take care of it. Y/N could move on with her life and forget all about him and the nightmare life he leads. Exhaling loudly, Dean grabs his phone, shoving it in his pocket and pushing himself off the car, the adrenaline of his fear and anger  still pumping through his veins. He knows she deserves better than a text. When he drives up on Thursday, he will tell her that it’s best for her.

Eventually, the stabbing pain in his chest will go away and if it doesn’t,  maybe this is just what it would be like now that he really knows what he will be missing when he walks away.

Jennifer and Y/N embrace at the door when she arrives promptly at 7:00. It was an evening of a few too many beers and laughs. Jennifer switched to Diet Coke after two. Although she was a little more than tipsy, she was careful to keep most of the secrets when Jennifer started to question her about the black muscle car parked at her house when Y/N was MIA for a few weeks, no one knew she was hiding a bruised and swollen face.

Travis had kept his mouth shut as promised. Sam and Dean stopped in to talk to him about the “guys” who followed Y/N home and assaulted her. He wanted his bar as far away from that controversy as possible.

They ended the evening with more hugs and promises to get together again soon, Y/N made her way to her bedroom, phone in hand, drunkenly stripping off clothes all the way down the hall. Climbing under the sheets, she started to plug in her phone but changed her mind.

Dean’s phone buzzed with a text message at 1:17 a.m, he was sitting in the library nursing his third whiskey of the night. Picking up his phone, he thumbed it open to see it was a text from Y/N. As he opened the message, his mouth slowly began to gape open. Staring back at him was a selfie. Y/N was laying down, her hair fanning around her on the pillow, a sweet smile playing on her lips. He could see the curve of her breasts, turning the phone back and forth he was sure he could have seen her nipple. She was totally naked in that massive bed without him. The simple text accompanying the picture is what truly did him in.

Babe: Wish you were here

“FUCK!” he groaned loudly, closing his eyes, throwing his head back

Thursday came in a blink of an eye for both of them. Dean had texted Y/N to let him know he would be leaving around noon. It was 10:00 a.m. now, his anxiousness already kicked into high gear. Sam walked into the war room, a mug of coffee in his hand, still in his blue and black plaid pajama pants with a grey long sleeved T-Shirt. His hair pointing in every direction, bare feet smacking against the tile floor. He stopped abruptly when he spotted Dean pacing a path back and forth. He was already dressed in jeans and boots topped with a dark grey T-shirt underneath a burgundy and grey flannel. An empty coffee cup sitting on the map table along with his duffle bag. 

“Dean?” he questioned.

“Yeah?” he responded, continuing to pace.

“What’s the deal? What are you doing?” He fully entered the room, placing his mug on the table studying Dean.

“I’m thinking! What are you doing? I just got shit on my mind,” he barked back, continuing to pace, stopping to look at his phone, before beginning his walk again.

“Aren’t you going to Y/N’s today?” Sam questioned, “I thought you would be happy. Instead, you’re stalking around here like an angry bear.”

Dean’s angry gaze snapped to Sam, confirming his characterization. “I’m coming back tonight.” Sam paused in the middle of sitting, standing back up, “Dude, WHAT?”

Running his hand roughly over his face, he sighed. “I got some space; after the other day, when I couldn’t reach her, it made me realize she doesn’t need to be dragged into this life. It’s too much.”

“And there it is” Sam threw his hands in the air, frustration written all over his face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean growled.

“Every.Fucking.Time,” he emphasized each word pointing his finger at the older Winchester. "Whenever you find a little bit of happiness, you start sabotaging yourself, it’s always something. This life sucks, you’re too busy, it’s the apocalypse, someone or something needs you more, you just shut down and tell yourself it’s not worth the trouble.”

Dean just stared at his brother as he continued to ramble.

“Just once Dean, just one time can you put yourself first?” he gestured toward him. “Yes, I know Y/N was a case and you are pissed off that the vamp won’t talk, you’re worried that your life is going to splash on her. She is stronger than you think, you think you need to pile all of this on your shoulders, you don’t. I have never seen you, my own brother, let his guard down around someone before.”

“She’s too good Sammy, she doesn’t deserve-”

“What?” Sam questioned, gathering momentum again “She doesn’t deserve to be happy? She doesn’t deserve to have someone care about her? You-” he pointed at him once more, “are both crazy about each other. I could see it on your faces every time I was in the same room with you both. You have earned the right to be happy.”

Dean crossed his arms contemplating Sam.

“Just do me a favor, would you?” Go up there and just see her, stay the three days, like you planned, see what happens. Promise me you won’t go up there halfcocked trying to tell her, like you always do to everyone, that you know what’s best. Leave your bullshit baggage here and just go see her.”

“Whatever,” Dean grumbled, hiking his bag on his shoulder as he picked his keys off the table, striding towards the garage, “I think you need to mind your own damn business.”

“When has that ever happened before?” Sam called after him.

As Dean began to drive to Lincoln, Y/N was running around nerves and excitement, twisting her gut. She had showered, shaved everywhere, lotioned up, fixed her hair, letting it flow down her back instead of the ponytail or messy bun look and she had applied light makeup. Looking down at her bed, almost every article of clothing she owned was spread out. Y/N picked up all of her dresses and hung them back in the closet. If she wore a dress, he would know that she was trying too hard.

“This is ridiculous!” she thought to herself as she started shoving clothes back into drawers. She settled on a pair of denim cutoff shorts and a sleeveless black and white blouse that cut in at the shoulders and tied at the back of her neck, flowing to mid-hip. Picking up the remainder of clothes strewn about, she muscled them back in her closet, slamming the door. She checked herself out in the mirror, happy with the tan legs and arms on display. Walking out into the living room, she started to feel fidgety. She had serious thoughts about going to work in the garden, but she would have to shower all over again. After wandering around the house, she checked her phone at 1:00. She had two hours left. Flopping on the couch, she flipped on the television and began channel surfing, trying to zone out.

As Dean sped up the highway to Y/N’s house, the conversation with Sam this morning was a consistent loop in his head. Actually, it was more of a Sam tirade. Dean knew what was best, right? Nip it in the bud before one of them could get hurt. She really wasn’t what he needed in his life, he told himself. Unattached works best for him. An after bar closing fling to get rid of the itch, then back to living life. No expectations, no texts, no I’ll-call-you-laters. But if that is what he wanted, then why did it make him sad and angry all at once?

Twenty minutes outside of Lincoln, he stopped for gas, seriously considering calling her to say he couldn’t make it. Sure, she might be disappointed, but she would get over it, wouldn’t she? No, he chastised himself, he would do the right thing and tell her face to face. He owed her that, at the very least. Looking at his watch, he realized that he had made a good time between leaving the bunker early so Sam would quit bitching at him and no traffic or cops on the 2 lane highway. He would be at her house at 1:30. Jumping back in Baby, he cranked the ignition “The Real Love” by Bob Seger blared through the speakers, it was a slow one, he reached down to flip the channel but paused but as the lyrics began to speak to him.

I think I’ve found The Real Love Genuine and true I think it’s really come my way today Babe I think it’s really you

I remember moments looking in your eyes Could have sworn I saw the spark of love babe Flickering inside

I’ve been around this track And the only thing I lack Is The Real Love

Placing his hand back on the wheel, his knuckles turned white as he squeezed, the pressure in his chest overwhelming him as he blinked back tears. His mind and heart screaming, “Don’t do this!!” Angrily, he threw Baby in drive, grinding his teeth together and snapping his jaw. He jammed his foot on the gas, leaving tire treads next to the pumps. The Impala fishtailing as he exited to the street heading towards Y/N house. The pain crashing through him as the verses washed over him.

Every time I see you, every time we touch I can feel the way you feel for me Babe And it means so much

And every time you look at me It’s just the way it all should be In The Real Love

Oh darlin’ darlin’ darlin’ Stay with me stay I long to see you in the morning sun Everyday Everyday

So until that moment When I take your hand I’m gonna try to do my very best Babe To prove that I’m your man

I’m gonna do my very best I’m not gonna rest Until we’ve got The Real Love

He was in agony, convincing himself it was what he deserved thinking about what he was about to do.

Hearing the deep rumble of Baby, Y/N sat up on the couch, flinging the remote on the coffee table. Her heart began thundering in her chest as she looked at the clock 1:28 p.m. “It’s too early, it can’t be him. He said 3:00” she thought. Her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her, almost unwilling, afraid to be disappointed that it was another car, but she knew. She would recognize the sound of his car anywhere. The screen door opened with a squeak as she stepped on the porch as Dean drove up the driveway. She shoved her hands in her front pockets to appear calm, but she could not wipe the huge grin off her face nor the heat burning her cheeks.

Dean turned off Baby and sat there for a moment, squeezing the steering wheel, flexing his jaw as he tried to get his bearings together. He knew what had to be done, he couldn’t draw it out. “Just cut to the chase, short and sweet. Get it over and done  with and let her live in peace,” he told himself, until he glanced out the window and saw her on the porch.

The ice that he tried to form around his heart cracked wide as he looked at her beautiful, smiling face. Never in his life could he recall someone so thrilled to see him. She was pure sunshine that spread light through him as he looked at her. Pulling the metal handle, he got out of the car, slamming the heavy door behind him. Her hands were in her pockets, but she was so happy she was almost vibrating. As he walked towards her, all he could hear was Sam’s voice yelling in his head, “leave your bullshit baggage here! You have earned the right to be happy!”

Each step that he took melted the ice a little more, stopping in the grass, he matched her smile and opened his arms. She was off the porch running to him. She jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist as he locked her in his embrace. She buried her face in his neck as he nuzzled her hair, breathing her in.

“You know,” she whispered, smiling into his neck, “when I thought about today, I always imagined I would have been much cooler.”

Chuckling, he pressed a kiss against her temple, “I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.” The truth is, had she been calm, cool, and collected, Dean would not have questioned his stupidity until he was headed back to the bunker. By that time, it would have been too late, and he would have had to live with his decision no matter what the ache in his chest told him.

Setting her on her feet, bending, he pressed a firm kiss on her lips, lingering as the last bits of ice melted around his heart. He wanted to tell her what he had driven up here to do; he just couldn’t yet. What if he scared her? What if she stopped looking at him with unconditional acceptance? After everything he had shared with her, the killings, the monsters, and the Mark of Cain, she rolled with it all as if he was telling her how he changed the oil in Baby. She was interested and asked questions but never judged him. Telling her most of his secrets on the couch was never what he meant to do, but she pulled it out without even trying. What if telling her he was going to look at him differently? He couldn’t handle that, his chest hurt to even think that. What if it broke what has been so carefully built. What if it broke her? He couldn’t do that. The thought that he was actually going to come up here and tell her it was over made him feel lightheaded.

Pulling back, she took his hand in hers with a smile. “I hope you’re hungry tonight. I made steak, twice baked potato, corn on the cob and...” she drawled, wiggling her eyebrows, “pecan pie.”

“Wow,” he chuckled “you didn’t have to do all of that.”

She lifted one shoulder, slightly embarrassed, “I wanted to.”

Squeezing her hand, he murmured, “thank you.”

Smiling bright at him, she opened the screen door, Y/N entering and pulling Dean with her. The house smelled like pie. He didn’t realize how much he missed being with her in her space until he walked in the door. The smell, the feeling of hominess solidified his decision to listen to Sam’s advice. Maybe his little brother knew something, after all.

Dean grabbed two bottles of beer out of the refrigerator, walking out on the back deck. Just being close to her, he could feel a weight lifting off him as he comfortably settled back into their little routine. He would always twist off the bottle top for her and hand her the beer. Even if she brought the beers out, she gave them both to him. When both bottles were open, they would clink the bottlenecks together before their first drink. It was the little things like this that made him ridiculously happy.

Sitting on the deck, they shared different things from the week, there were no awkward moments or pause in the conversation. It just flowed as it did on the couch. Dean tried to keep it light, telling funny stories about Sam as Y/N’s laughter rang out, filling him with a warmth he never knew he needed., She would reach out and touch him, brushing her fingers against his knee or grasping his arm when she was making a point. He looked forward to each touch, desire shuttering through him every time. As the afternoon slid into the evening, Dean would graze her upper arm with a smile, just to see her shiver. He felt powerful that it was his touch doing that to her.

Time flew by as the cold beers went down smoothly. Soon it was time to light the grill and cook up the steaks as she put together the side dishes. They decided to eat at the pub table on the deck, lighting the lanterns as the sun began to set and soft music played through the hidden speakers. Y/N watched Dean eat dinner as she moved the food around her plate. She watched him as they talked through dinner, either he wasn’t nervous or could chew through anything. She was hungry but only took a few bites here and there. The later it got, she began to get keyed up. She felt like she knew how the evening would end; however, her insecurities made her start to question everything. After dinner, they loaded the dishwasher and made coffee for both of them. It was very domestic, like all the pieces were snapping into place. Dean sat down his mug as the crisp sound of an acoustic guitar wafted through the sound system. “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman. The notes carried into the darkness as the deck was illuminated by the hanging lanterns.

Reaching out his hand he beckoned to Y/N, “dance with me.”

With a shy smile, she accepted his hand as he led her to the middle of the deck and took her in his arms. Her heart began to double-time in her chest as she looked into Dean’s eyes and saw the heat reflected back down on her. He pulled her close as they moved through the song and she could not help but to be struck by the lyrics.

Give me one reason to stay here And I'll turn right back around Give me one reason to stay here And I'll turn right back around Said I don't want leave you lonely You got to make me change my mind

Ducking his head to brush his lips to hers, the sizzle that has built between them all night, ignites. He wants this woman more than he has ever wanted anyone in his life. In a rush of uncontrollable desire, Dean cups Y/N’s face and pulls her to him, crashing his lips greedily to hers. The first touch of his mouth on hers and she threw her arms around him, pressing her body against his. The intense desire exploded between them; the compelling need to claim her, lick her, have her, drove him to the brink of insanity. He opened her lips with his, his tongue sliding into her mouth, bringing out a throaty moan that almost pushed him over the edge. He glided his hand down her back, cupping one of her round cheeks with his palm as he roughly pulled her against his erection; she gasped with pleasure as she began to grind herself onto him, her own arousal dictating her actions.

Picking her up, she wrapped her legs around him as he walked them into the house, down the hall into the bedroom, their mouths only moving apart to gasp for air before devouring each other once more. The dance of their tongues did nothing to quench her thirst for him since they had initially started, and she found herself rubbing against him in an attempt to ease her aching core. Setting her down on her feet in front of the bed, she looked up to see Dean’s eyes had changed to a dark smoldering green; the lust reflected back to her, making her tremble with yearning.

“I need you so much,” he rasped.

“God, me too,” she whimpered.

A smile spread across his face as he hooked his index finger along the waistband of her shorts, dragging them down her tan legs to her ankles. On his knees in front of her, he placed a soft kiss on her belly button, his tongue flicking her hoop piercing.

“So fucking hot,” he murmurs as her skin erupts in goosebumps, a shiver of excitement moving up her spine as she runs her hands through his soft brown hair.

Gently pushing her back on the bed, he pulled her to the edge, his mouth mere inches from her slick heat. Moving his face slightly, he brushed the inside of her thigh with his scruff, pulling a moan from her lips. She could feel his warm breath against her clit and began to squirm.

“Please Dean,” she begged. He lay his muscled forearm across her hips, pinning her to the bed.

“Shh,” he whispered as his eyes met hers, his intense look scorching her skin. “I want to look at you, I’ve done nothing but think about you like this for weeks, just want to enjoy the view for a moment.”

She let her head fall back on the mattress, laying her arm across her closed eyes, her body buzzing as it pleaded for relief. Every second that ticked by, the intensity coiled in her belly, convincing her that she will burst into flames any second. She jerked as she felt his flattened tongue lick upwards along her damp slit, teasing her. His lips stopped at her clit, humming in satisfaction.

“Jesus, Dean,” she moaned, grasping the sheets on either side of her, “I can’t do this, it’s too much,” she cried with frustration.

Chucking, he licked her again before swirling his tongue around her sweet spot. A sound ripped from her throat that was a mix between a whine and a curse. “That’s it, Y/N,” he growls against herm “let go, I want to feel you cum.”

“No, I want to feel you inside me.” Her arms stretched to reach him, but he leaned back, just out of reach.

“You will,” he promises “but I need this first.” His tongue delved into her wet sweetness as he buried two fingers inside her, coaxing her to climax. She felt the white-hot heat building inside her as he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking one last time, hurdling her over the edge while crying out his name. Dean was relentless, lapping up everything Y/N had given him before he glanced up at her writhing form, his chin glistening in the dim light. It was a sight that made Y/N swallow hard, the man between her legs had given her an orgasm in less than a few minutes so her mind was reeling with else he had in store for her.

“I need you, Dean.” Those four words that bled from her lips sent Dean into a frenzy.

In haste, he removed his boots, socks, jeans, and boxers before he climbed up the mattress, pulling Y/N along with him. Situated in the middle of the bed, he settled between her legs, his hard length nudging at her. Resting his forearms on either side of her head, he brushed his lips over hers as she moved her hands to entwine her fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. Her legs then wrapped around  his waist, urging him to enter her but he held back, his body taut with the effort.

“Protection?” he asks softly. “IUD,” she answered breathlessly, desperate for him to fill her. “Oh god.””

“It’s Dean” he husked playfully, his voice deep and gruff.  

Kissing down her neck; cupping her breast in his hand, he rolled her taut nipple between his thumb and forefinger, a hiss of pleasure rushing from her lips as he took her nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue over the bud before nipping it gently with his teeth. He moved to the other breast giving it equal treatment. Steadily he slowly made his way back up her body, peppering her skin with kisses as he reached her mouth, claiming her lips again in a searing kiss as he lined himself up. He slowly pushes his impressive shaft inside of her as her body stretches around his girth, tightly squeezing and slowly accommodating him.

“Y/N,” he breathes between clenched teeth, “Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long, you feel so damn good.”

She murmured her approval as her hands wrapped around him, her fingers digging into his rippling back muscles with each thrust. She had fantasized about this so often, but the reality eclipses anything her imagination had come up with. His mouth moved down her exposed neck as her hands blindly explored his body. Their dual moans mingled in the bedroom as their sweat-slicked bodies met. She gripped his shoulders as they both barreled towards release.

“Babe, I’m so close,” he grits out, his rhythm stuttering. She plants her feet on the bed, meeting him thrust for thrust.

“Dean!” she cries as another orgasm rips through her body. She comes undone, her insides clench and twist around him as she digs her fingers into his back as he feels her flutter around him. Groaning her name, he buries himself deep inside her, allowing euphoria to wash over him as he coated the inside of her walls.

Breathless, he nearly collapsed on top of her but managed to hold himself up on shaky arms as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair with a smile. He leaned down to place a sweet kiss on her mouth before laying on his back next to her as they both tried to catch their breath. Turning his head, he saw her blissed-out face staring back at him with a sleepy smile playing on her lips. He gathered her still shaking body to him, wrapping his arms around her as she rested her head on his hard chest with a satisfied sigh. She snuggled into him as he reached down to pull the sheet over them both falling into an exhausted sleep. He was so glad he didn’t listen to his own thoughts and allowed himself to enjoy being with her. The woman that had turned his life upside down.

Chapter 8

Tags: @winchest09​ @katehuntington​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​ @emoryhemsworth​ @flamencodiva​ @superfanficnatural​ @deanwanddamons​ @janicho88​ @talesmaniac89​ @anathewierdo​ @compresshischest09​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @jensengirl83​ @this-is-what-im-reduced-to​ @ellewritesfix05​ @moron225​ @foxyjwls007​ @hobby27​ @unicornqu33n17​ @swinchester27​@ @deans-baby-momma​ @squirrelnotsam​ @clumsy-nerd104​ @sarahbaker2010​ @supernatural-love14​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @angelhearts1012​ @nothinbuttrouble2​ @cookiechipdough​ @lady-pswrld​ @peachyafshawn​ @notan-applepielife​

[hobicomeholla29]

Chronicle of a heartbreak Foretold - P1

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff/ Lovers to Enemies

Word Count:1.9k

Warnings: Cheating/ Heartbreak/ Distrust/ Lying/ Manipulating/ Cursing

Rating: PG

A/N: Unedited. This is part of the October project for Castle Bangtan. Which was take a popular trope and reverse it. Hope you enjoy! 

Summary: Park Jimin was what you had always wanted in a man and maybe also what you didn’t want.

Masterlist

Intro

December 15th

Oh December 15, you are one hell of a memory.

Who could forget the first time Jimin had tried ‘befriending’ Taehyung?

You had barely told your best friend about the new guy in your department who had quickly turned into your boyfriend.  Gushed about him until he couldn't take it any longer.

Every waking second where Taehyung would give you an opening, you would take the chance to talk about Jimin.

“I get it… you feel like this dude is it for you.”

“He-“

“He’s not. He’ll hurt you and you know it deep down.”

And just like you took every chance to speak about him. Taehyung took every chance to shoot you down on the spot.

Now, the memories of that day had nothing to do with you and more to do with Jimin giving him another reason to despise him.

According to Taehyung’s angry phone call that day, Jimin was acting a fool.

They ran into each other at work. Now you think maybe working with your best friend and your boyfriend wasn’t the best idea. But what was done was done.

"Ay, what's up?" Just the opening of that conversation was catastrophic. It was meant to be such a disaster that people around them who had no clue about what was going on, knew that the outcome would be negative.

Taehyung nursed a hot beverage, using all of his self-restraint to avoid pouring it over the young man in front of him.

"Hey" his face remained stoic during his answer.

"I'm Y/n's boyfriend. Jimin."

"I know" no change whatsoever.

"And you're her best friend, right? Taehyung?"

"Yes."

 What was the need? What was the reason? Taehyung couldn’t quite figure it out. But there had to be a hidden agenda behind why this man -who he was sure knew he despised him- was trying to initiate a conversation with him.

 "So, I was wondering..."

 About what? He wondered. There was nothing he could ask from a stranger. Because that is what they were until then.

 "Do you think there's a possibility that I could borrow like 2k from you? I had this thing come up and really need the mo-"

The scoff and amused smile that followed, effectively cut Jimins's sentence off.

 "You must be kidding."

"I'm not..." He had the audacity to say that with a 'genuine' smile.

 "Listen here dude. I don't like you and even if I did like you, I don't know you and even if I knew you, I wouldn’t give you 2k just cause you asked."

 What pissed Taehyung off the most, was that fact that you had mentioned to him that Jimin was going on a trip to Busan in a week to visit his best friend Hoseok and they had a whole lot of activities planned. So how come if he had an emergency, he couldn’t cancel his trip and use the money for that.

Yet who was Taehyung to confront Jimin about an issue that had nothing to do with him.

 The phone call that you received that night was hurtful, a bit annoying and a tad uncomfortable.

Taehyung told you about the entire thing. Brought up the trip to Busan. Told you to end things with Jimin. That he was using you for who knows what reason. That someone who lies to their girlfriend about something so small is only hiding something worse.

 “I’m not going to stay around forever to protect you!”

“I didn’t ask for your protection or anyone’s, Taehyung!”

“Well you evidently need it ‘cause no sense is entering that thick skull of yours! Your boyfriend is using you! Bye!”

 The warnings -to you- we're unnecessary and uncalled for. But he was only looking out for you, right?

January 1st

 Some days, you just forgot about all the bad that surrounded your relationship. All the ominous air that exuded from the ground, the walls, the people, and anyone who sentenced your love to death.

You contrasted all of it with a bubble. A bubble that couldn’t be destroyed from the outside, a bubble that contained only Jimin and yourself. Keeping you both safe from the toxicity in the air.

 "Happy 4-month anniversary babe!"

"Happy anniversary Jimin!"

 You were so excited about today. Jimin had promised a day full of fun and laughter. Both of you relaxing from a stressful week at work and enjoying your 4-month anniversary.

 It all began with him picking you up —well technically going to your apartment and having you drive to the place— but that wasn't important.

You opened the door to your apartment with excitement, bouncing on your tippy toes in expectance of your loving boyfriend.

The view in front of you didn't disappoint. His blue-gray hair swept to the side, white buttoned-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black slim fit slacks with a pair of loafers. His eyes crinkled as a reaction to his wide smile, his cute little teeth showing up to greet you.

In his hands, a turquoise box presented itself with a red bow around it. You didn’t expect for him to buy you anything for a 4-month celebration.

 "Aww, baby you didn't have to. What is it?"

"Open it and you’ll see."

 You both took a step inside the apartment and took a seat on the couch, setting the box on the coffee table, ready to investigate the contents of the box. Your hands shook with excitement, a reflection of the speed of your heartbeats.

Slowly undoing the bow, careful not to rip it and removing the cover for the box, you were left speechless, when did he even get the time or money to buy you this.

The gasp heard throughout the room, was a clear indication of the feelings roaming your body.

 "You did not!" Your eyes were saucers as they stared at him.

"But I did!" He smiled widely.

"No frikin way!"

"Yes, way!"

"How did you get LawBreakers Collector's edition. I thought it was sold out?"

"Not for my baby, she gets what she wants."

"You are the best!" You said, hugging him around the neck so abruptly that, you ended up knocking both of you off the couch.

“That I am!” He said in between giggles as he stroked your cheek lovingly.

 Needless to say, the rest of your day got even better as Jimin took you to a nice restaurant for dinner, later guiding you to a park for a late night walk as you both spoke about everything and nothing and back to the apartment to play with your new game for a while until he finally had to go.

  January 20th

 As per Jimin's text the day prior, he wanted some help arranging his apartment. He said something about getting rid of old stuff he no longer needed and open space for newer things, so as the dutiful and helpful girlfriend you are, you complied.

 You arrived as early as possible, meaning 10am since Jimin —and your self— slept a lot.

You began at the bedrooms and expected to finish in the living room.

You were currently cleaning the spare bedroom, trying to not meddle too much into his personal things, limiting yourself to only touch and move stuff that were necessary for cleaning purposes and as soon as you were done, you set them back into their place.

In the process, you accidently stumbled into a box, knocking out its content.

You didn’t bother checking any of it and shoved it all back in with your hands.

 "Jiminie, where do you want this box?" You yelled from the room.

"Which one?" his head popped through the door as he asked.

You shook the box slightly, showing him the one you were speaking of.

 "I don't even know what's in there"

He sat on the floor beside you to inspect the contents of the box in question. finding a ton of old puzzles and... some letters.

You picked up one that he set on the side, investigating further, and noticing that they seemed to be addressed to him.

"Who's Naeun?" You asked.

"She's my ex, the one who helped me rent out this place, remember."

You did recall him mentioning her once or twice, but not enough to think about her much. Maybe you should have paid more attention.

"And you… keep the letters she gave you?" You knew how it sounded —like you were insecure— but it didn’t matter, you needed to hear his reasons, for your peace of mind.

 "Not 'cause I wanted to, I probably forgot about them, since I moved here when we were still together. Just get rid of them."

"Ok..." The inner peace never came, but you pushed down the feeling and did as requested.

 You walked with a small pile of at least 20 letters in hand, ready to dispose of them in the kitchen’s trash. Yet you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t throw the out. Why not?! They weren’t written for you or by you. But they felt heavy in your hands. And without a second though you hid them in the backpack you had brought with you, quickly returning to cleaning.

 3 hours went by of cleaning and re-arranging stuff. Your letter misappropriation, already forgotten. You decided on ordering some sushi and sat on the living room’s floor enjoying this long-awaited break.

 "So..." You began hesitantly.

"What? What are you thinking?" he eyed you expectantly.

"What was she like?" you blurted out.

"Who?" He asked, half a roll in his mouth.

"Naeun… what was she like?"

"Oh, she was nice…  at the beginning of our relationship. She was caring and loving. We had a lot of fun together, and she was very giving. We met back in Busan and we lived together for a while, but… then she started to change… and she started coming home less and less, until one day she came home… smelling like perfume… another man’s perfume for that matter and on the following day they showed up together, just to tell me that she had to leave and could no longer be with me..."

 "No…"

It broke your heart; how could someone be so selfish. She could have at least broken up with him first and why bring the dude to his place or …well their place. Suddenly you remembered the letters and felt bad. Maybe those letters were her apologizing to him or maybe being cruel and giving him goodbyes. You were prying, you knew that, but you couldn’t fix it now. You would wait until you were home and get rid of them like you should have from the very beginning.

 "Yeah, she took some of my stuff as well when she left."

"That's so unfair, you should have fought for your things babe." how could she?

"At the time I didn't feel like I wanted things that could later remind me of her. But I guess I should have fought for them... at least the important ones."

“What kind of things did she take? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Not at all. We used to have 2 gaming consoles; she took one. Also took away a couple of my shirts. Some Jewelry; nothing expensive. And games.”

You nodded in understanding, letting a silence fall over both of you after his last sentence.

The remaining rolls were swiftly consumed right after and in the blink of an eye, you were back to cleaning.

[sad-boy-mono]

High school casualties

Chapter 1/?

Word count-1,779 

Masterpost with Ao3 link

Damien sat at his desk, the typing on his keyboard slowly coming to a stop as he finally finished the essay he had been working on for the past few hours. He looked at the bright screen of his laptop and quickly skimmed the concluding paragraph. Satisfied with his work, he closed his device and sunk into his chair as he let out an exasperated sigh. His bed looked more inviting than ever.

Damien, enjoying this new found sense of relaxation, threw off his glasses and rubbed his strained eyes so intensely that colorful dots and random patterns began to flood his eyelids. His head ache pounding harder than it had been over the past few weeks, but hey, at least he finally finished that essay.

Once his eyes felt somewhat hydrated again, he pulled himself out of the old office chair he had been sitting in. He stretched his stiff body, joints popping loudly.

Pretty sure that wasn’t there when I started, Damien thought to himself as he saw the sun peak up from behind his curtains of his window, What time is it anyways?

Damien scanned the area for his phone, spotting it buried under a small stack of papers and sticky notes, as well as some gum wrappers. He grabbed it and turned it on, hissing at the sudden brightness. Letting his eyes re-adjust to the light, he checked the time. It was almost 5:30.

Well I’m only gonna get 2 hours of sleep if I go to bed now, Damien thought to himself as he made his way to his bed, but ya know, it’s gonna be fine. Maybe I can convince my brain it’s only 3! Ya hear that ya dumb stupid brain, it’s only 3 in the morning! Not 5:30! You’re gonna be fine! Everything is fiiiiiiiiiine.

As the delusional teen concluded his thought, he collapsed into bed, falling asleep within moments of his face hitting the pillow. School was going to be rough that day.

===

Yo sorry but Damien REALLY can’t come to the phone right now, so try texting like a normal person

Shayne let out an audible sigh. He had already texted his friend that he was waiting for him outside, like he did everyday. At this point, Shayne was ready to barge into Damien’s house and see if he was dead or not.

Ok if he doesn’t answer this time, I’m gonna murder him. Shayne thought, as he began to call again.

===

Damien’s eyes slowly opened to the sound of a barely familiar ringtone. No one ever called him, let alone at this hour. But without even thinking to check the caller ID, he answered. It was probably important if it was at this hour. Or one committed spam caller.

“Hello?” Damien answered groggily, sleep heavy in his voice.

“Dude where are you? I’ve been waiting for you for the past 15 minutes!” Shayne said, pacing up and down the old wooden porch that lead up to Damien’s house.

Shit, Damien sprung out of his bed so fast his head hurt (Even more then it already did) and he became slightly dizzy. He already started looking around for his clothes, “Uh-yeah sorry! I’ll be out there soon!”

“Ok hurry up, or we’ll be late!” Shayne said hanging up the phone and forcefully putting it back in his pocket with a huff, continuing his pacing.

Damien took a look at his phone and winced. Not only from 8 missed messages and 1 missed call from Shayne. Or the fact it was 8:16 and he had to be at school at 8:40 and didn’t have a car. But his headache was worse than ever. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that made it worse, or the sudden blinding light of his phone; either way, he was not having a good time.

Damien fumbled around his room, putting on whatever clean clothes he had, not really caring if it would look good in the end. He stuck a piece of gum in his mouth to substitute brushing his teeth and began the search for his backpack.

About 5 minutes later Damien was fumbling out the door, adjusting the beanie that seemed haphazardly put on at the last minute, still putting stuff in his bag and his shoes half on.

“Let’s go.” Shayne said, not even bothering to let Damien fully out the door before he started walking off.

“Dude wait up!” Damien said forcing on his untied shoe. “Look, I’m sorry I kept you waiting. I slept through my alarms.”

“Yeah it’s fine, but- Holy- Dude you look like shit!” Shayne said, actually getting a look at Damien.

“Thanks, I feel like shit.”

“What happened?” Shayne asked. It looks like you got hit by a fucking truck

“Well Shayne, that’s exactly what happened!” Damien joked punctuated his statement with finger guns and a yawn.

“What?” Shayne asked.

“No, I’m just kidding. I was up all night working on homework.”

“Oh, um, alright then, why didn’t you work on it earlier? Dude are you ok?”

“Shayne, buddy, don’t worry about it, everything is fine, totally fine,” Damien said, in an ominously cheerful tone. “Let’s just get to school and meet up with Court.”

“Ok…”

===

“Finally! There are my BOYS!” Courtney exclaimed as Damien and Shayne approached the main entrance of the school where Courtney was waiting for them. “What took you 2 so long?” She asked and wrapped her arms around both of their shoulders.

“Well someone,” Shayne rolled his eyes towards Damien and punched his shoulder slightly, “worked on his homework all night and slept through his alarms!”

“Yeah Shayne, why would you do that!” Damien said, crossing his arms

“Wha- ME!” Shayne spat, taking a small step back. And Courtney, with her arm still around him, stumbled back as well.

“Yeah you!”

“You son of a bi-”

“Ok enough,” Courtney cut them off after regaining her balance, “save the arguments for later, we’re gonna be late! And Damien,” Courtney dropped her arms from the boy’s shoulders and dug into her bag. Then after a moment or two, handed Damien a travel mug, “drink this, it’s coffee. Not exactly the way you drink it but hopefully that’ll wake you up a bit”

“Mmmmmmm, bean juice.” Damien mumbled and took a drink.

“You can have the rest, you look like you need it much more than I do.” Courtney said. Damien gasped in mock offense.

“What doth thy meaneth? Art thou saying I looketh like shit?” Damien said dramatically, lazy hand jesters included.

“Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.” She deadpanned and began walking into the school, Shayne and Damien following.

“So what where you working on last night then?” Shayne asked.

“Yeah what was so important that you worked on it for so long it sucked the soul of you?” Courtney asked, once again wrapping her arms around her boys as they walked.

“That essay for Mr. Hecox’s class I was telling y’all about a few weeks ago.” Damien confessed.

God he really put it off for that long? Damn is he okay?

“Yeah Shayne I’m fine. I’ve just had this awful headache for the past few weeks and I wanted to work on it when it went away, but it didn’t.” Damien looked and saw confusion clear on both of his friend’s faces. “What?”

Shayne glanced at Damien, then Courtney, trying to figure out how Damien heard him.

“Um, yeah no it’s nothing. Just… never mind.” Shayne gave a confused glanced at Courtney, who gave one right back.

“What, what’re y’all looking at?”

“Oh uh, it’s nothing, just drink your coffee. This is our class anyways so we gotta shut up now.” Courtney pointed at the door, patting Damien’s arm and dropping her own arms from the boy’s shoulders.

“Oh- alright then.” Damien mumbled to himself and walked in with his friends.

They made it in the class by 8:45. So yeah, they were late. But by the looks of the empty desk right by the door, so was their teacher.

“Oh looks like we don’t have to shut up now.” Shayne said.

“Damn all that stress for nothing!” Damien sighed.

“Well, let’s just relax and chat then! Like Shayne said, we don’t gotta shut up just yet.” Courtney said, walking to her desk, the boys once again following her.

The three slid into their desks, Shayne sitting to Damien’s right and Courtney in front of Damien. They began chatting with each-other and a few people around them. Well, two of them were chatting. Damien was silent, resting his head on his desk. He may as well exploit this time to get a little more sleep, or just zone the fuck out. Either way he was resting up to the best of his ability. Trying to make the pounding in his head go away.

===

“-ien? Hello~ Earth to Damien~” Shayne said, gently rocking his sleeping friend.

“Wha-,”Damien hummed, glancing around at the classroom, hearing it quiet down.

“Sorry to interrupt your nap, but Mrs. Whittle’s here.” Shayne said with a sympathetic smile, then turned around to face the front.

Damien began to sit up reluctantly. He dug through his bag and got out the materials that his teacher listed on the board. Looks like they didn’t need much. Which Damien won’t complain about, the less work he has to do today the better.

“Alright class, why don’t you guys take a seat! I’ve got all my bearings so we can finally start!” Mrs. Whittle unlocked her computer. “Ok attendance, you guys know the drill!”

As she went down the list, Damien noticed quite a few people missing. People he was sure he noticed in the room when he first entered. Damien checked his phone again. It was now 8:57. So their teacher was almost 20 minutes late. It looks like people decided not to wait and just left.

“Alright, got that done!” Mrs. Whittle stood up from her desk and made her way to the board. “Again class, so sorry I was late today. We had an issue with one of the cats this morning and it was not pretty, ended up having to take the lil guy to the Vet but he’ll be ok! But anyways I hope you enjoyed this extra time to chat with your classmates. It works out in the end since today I planned something simple for us to work on today!”

As the class carried on, Damien barley paid attention. It’d be fine though, he would just ask Shayne or Courtney what went on and what he needed to know. It would be fine, this was a simple lesson anyways.

===

[smytimagine]

Part III | Surprise Visitors

We get some other character’s perspectives in this chapter!

Warnings: Mild swearing

Word Count: 3,442

A/N: I’m in the middle of writing other chapters but I can’t decide, does Y/N end up with Grayson… or Ethan?!

part 1 part 2

Thank God the next day was Saturday, and although that didn’t mean a whole lot since I usually spent the day with the twins anyway, today was different.

I spent the whole night curled up in my bed watching chick flicks and ignoring Ethan’s persistent calls and texts. To be fair, I felt bad and had at least let him know I made it home safely but didn’t respond after that. It’s not like it was Ethan’s fault, he didn’t know about Grayson’s new girlfriend either, but I couldn’t tell Ethan how I felt if I wasn’t even sure how I felt.

Grayson had always been my best friend. When I moved out to LA from Connecticut the twins were the first real friends I had made. I had prior experience as a personal assistant to very wealthy CEO’s at large companies, and a recruiter had seen my resume and asked me if I was interested in a position with two clients who were social media moguls. I had no idea who the twins were when I met them, as I suppose I wasn’t their target demographic. I was 3 years older than them and had no idea what vine even was, never mind that they had blown up on the app. I guess you could say I wasn’t the trendiest teen back then. 

The three of us had hit it off right away, probably because I treated them like normal people, I never put them on a pedestal. I wasn’t blind to how girls looked at them, I was even an unwilling target to some online slander from people who wanted to pin me to one of them. But it was never like that. We truly were just best friends, until now.

As I sat in my bed debating if I was ever going to crawl out of this mess of blankets and sheets, I wasn’t sure where I stood with the twins. Of course, I would always be professional when it came to work, but I now felt this awkwardness around Grayson. What was Ethan hinting at when he told Grayson he needed to tell me about his girlfriend? Why would they think I needed to know? Grayson didn’t owe me anything. Was there some kind of secret behind my back about me liking Grayson? Because certainly, I had never implied that, or at least I don’t think I did? Ethan would never go behind my back and make something like that up, so I wasn’t sure where any of this stemmed from.

______________

Noon rolled around and I finally pulled myself together enough to drag my ass out of bed and into the kitchen for some food. Still drowning in Ethan’s sweatshirt and a pair of PJ shorts I had thrown on.

“Well it’s about damn time,” a deep voice said from behind me

I jumped and threw my back against the fridge, I held a knife stabbed halfway through an avocado in my hand, looking towards my couch to see a mop of dark hair facing away from me towards the wall of windows

“ETHAN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” I screamed

“We have a spare key in case of emergencies Y/N. After you texted me you were home last night you never answered any of my other attempts to talk. I was genuinely worried about you. I came over around 3 am and saw you sleeping in bed surrounded by tissues. I decided I would sleep on the couch and be here when you woke up, I didn’t want you to be alone. I texted you that, but apparently, you decided to just let your phone die. Now please, put down the knife, that avocado isn’t very threatening ” Ethan laughed as he made his way towards me.

My heart melted. Here I was wasting the day away feeling sorry for myself when this man in front of me came over just to see if I was okay and then slept here in case I needed anything. What the hell did I do to deserve him?

I didn’t say anything, I tossed the knife on the counter and walked towards Ethan, I tucked my head into his chest and felt him wrap his arms around me. He pecked the top of my head and rubbed his hands slowly up and down my back. We stood silently in the embrace for a while.

“I’m okay E, to be honest, I’m not even sure why I was so upset. I told you before there was nothing going on between Gray and me, and now it’s just proof.” I said softly

“Y/N, you may not have thought there was anything, but there was - there is. I saw it, the guys all saw it. To be honest, you weren’t the only one let down last night. After the guys left they all texted me bummed out about the whole situation. There is absolutely no one who is as perfect for Gray as you. Literally, everyone around you guys can see that”

I felt myself smile into Ethan’s chest at his kind words, it felt nice that everyone thought so highly of me. That they all thought that I was good enough for their best friend and brother. But at the end of the day, it didn’t matter. He had a girlfriend, and she wasn’t me.

I pulled away from him with his hands still resting on my shoulders. I tried to change the subject, as anything would be a better conversation than this.

“So, what should we do today Etee?” I smirked as I teased him. He hated that nickname and I knew it, but it was cute.

Ethan sighed at my use of his name, “Well, Mom and Cam are coming into town today actually, I’m supposed to pick them up in a few hours. Do you want to come?”

I loved the twin’s family. Their sister was my age and so much fun to gang up on the boys with. Their mom Lisa was the best. She was super supportive of everything the boys did and would even check up on me once in a while. My mom had never been exactly present in my life, so in a way, she helped to fill the void.

“Is that even a question?!” I asked, suddenly feeling my mood shift to pure excitement.

“I thought you might like that, we have to pick them up around 2:30, it’s going to take us an hour to get there from here, so you better get your ass in the shower because you fucking stink,” He said, pulling his head to the side implying he was trying to escape me.

“Oh, fuck you, dude. I absolutely do not stink, and even if I did, it’s your sweatshirt, which means you’re the stinky one” I scoffed at him, smirked, then turned to head down the hall towards the shower.

______________

Ethan POV

I watched Y/N walk away and head towards the bathroom, my eyes inspecting every inch of her body. She was perfect. She had absolutely no idea how perfect she actually was. I couldn’t stand the fact that my idiot brother had this perfect of a woman pining for him and decided to ignore her for someone else.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother. He’s my best friend. But he can be a real idiot. The thing is, I’m not even sure he knows Y/N is crazy for him. In fact, Y/N doesn’t even know she’s crazy about him, but everyone else knows. They are so perfect for each other it makes me want to vomit out of jealousy. Someday I want to find someone as perfect as she is, though I know it will be a challenge.

I told her my mom and sister were coming into town today, and they are. But, I might have left out the part that I called them late last night and asked them to come. I explained what happened at the fire and when they agreed to come, I booked them on the next available flight out here.

They loved Y/N as much as Grayson and I did. My mom thought of her as her own, considering Y/N’s mom wasn’t the best. She left when Y/N was little and calls her once in a while when she runs low on money. Grayson and I have been throwing extra cash into her paychecks to cover it. We told her it was a pay raise, which part of it was, but we doubled it and if Y/N knew she would kill us. She never asks for anything, never expects anything, and never tries to inconvenience anyone. Her dad has always tried his best, but he works a lot and isn’t sure how to relate to her as a grown woman. Over the last two years, she has become more of a Dolan than a Y/L/N, my whole family accepts her with open arms, and secretly hopes one day she will actually be a Dolan. Of course, none of that will happen if Grayson stays with whatever her name is.

______________

Y/N POV

I showered, got dressed, fixed my hair and makeup and headed back out to the living room where Ethan was half asleep scrolling through twitter. He clicked his phone screen off when he noticed I had entered the room

“Damn” Ethan whispered to himself

I could feel my cheeks blush slightly

“Uh, you ready, E?”

“I’ve been ready, the question is, are you?” he replied, trying to cover for his trip up

“I’m ready! Let’s go get these beautiful ladies so I can ditch you and hang out with some real winners” I laughed as I pulled him up off the couch. 

We hopped up into Ethan’s jeep and headed towards the airport. I absolutely loved this car. He had modified it so perfectly that everything about it screamed Ethan. He turned up the radio and started bobbing his head while I pulled my sunglasses over my eyes and leaned my head back into the headrest, letting my hair blow in the wind. He looked over at me, smiled and placed his hand on my knee. This wasn’t odd for us, it was his way of letting me know he was there, but that he didn’t want to turn down his music to talk. All of which, I was okay with. I didn’t want to talk.

______________

“Y/N/N!” Cameron screamed as she ran up and threw her arms around me in the biggest hug. I laughed and looked over her shoulder to see Lisa coming along smiling at the two of us

“Hey gorgeous, what the heck! I didn’t know you ladies were coming into town! I usually have you guys on the twin’s schedules for weeks before you visit” I said looking between Cameron and Lisa with an excited confusion.

Both women looked over at Ethan, unsure of what he actually told Y/N, clearly not the truth, and went along with the story line.

“Oh well, we wanted to surprise the boys and didn’t say anything until last night to them about coming to visit… SURPRISE!” Lisa fibbed as she embraced Y/N in a hug while shooting Ethan wide eyes hoping she said the right thing. He nodded in acceptance of her answer.

We all got back into Ethan’s jeep, his mom and sister in the back as they had insisted I sit in front. I always felt wrong about making a parent sit in the back, but Lisa had insisted.

I suddenly felt a wave of dread wash over me. They would definitely want to go back to the boy’s house to drop off their things and say hi to Grayson. I, on the other hand, did not want to say hi to Grayson until at least Monday.

______________

Lisa POV

I had insisted Y/N sit up front with Ethan. She was so sweet how she always offered me the front, but I knew she needed to be next to my son more than I did right now. As we drove back to the boy’s house I watched how Ethan would smile and look at her and how she mirrored the gesture. To be honest, I would be over the moon if she dated Ethan, the chemistry between them was undeniable. I could tell from a mother’s perspective that she truly made Ethan happy, but I didn’t know if either of them actually felt that way towards each other. Ethan had always insisted it wasn’t like that and that he was pulling for Y/N to get with Grayson. I would be a lucky parent to have that girl end up with either of my sons, so if Ethan felt that way and everyone was happy, it would be okay with me. 

But that’s not why we’re here.

When Ethan called in the middle of the night I panicked. No parent likes to receive phone calls from their children at odd hours of the night. He sounded very concerned about Y/N and had mentioned that Grayson screwed up. I had kind of put the pieces together and Ethan filled in the details about Gray’s new girlfriend. My heart hurt for the poor girl. As far as I knew no words were ever exchanged from her about Grayson in that way, but we weren’t blind to it. She spent plenty of time with us both here and in New Jersey and I found myself daydreaming about the days of her and Grayson having kids running around my home and sitting together on our front porch hand in hand. She was everything he had ever said he wanted in a woman. Sometimes, we can’t see two inches in front of our face, and surely this was the situation with my son.

______________

Y/N POV

As we rounded the bend towards the gate I was all too familiar with, Ethan gently squeezed my knee. I looked over at him and he nodded in acknowledgment that he knew this would be hard for me but that he knew I could do it. And I would.

We parked in Ethan’s usual spot and everyone hopped out. I helped Lisa grab her bag as we headed towards the front door. Suddenly it opened

“E, where the hell have you been…” Grayson’s voice trailed off as he came storming out of the house and realized Ethan wasn’t alone.

“Mom? Cam? What are you guys doing here? Y/N were they on our calendars?” He looked at me happy but concerned

“Uh… I” I started but Ethan jumped in

“No, I stayed at Y/N’s last night because she wasn’t feeling well, mom texted me while I was there that it was a surprise and we just got back from picking them up” he explained, while looking at his mom and sister for back up. The three nodded in agreement.

“Okay… wait you stayed at Y/N’s?” Grayson asked looking between me and Ethan. He really had no idea what had happened last night, and here was Ethan covering my tracks. But Gray wasn’t stupid, he knew it wasn’t normal for Ethan to stay at my house even if I wasn’t feeling well. But Ethan brushed it off and changed the subject.

“Okay, let’s get inside, I want to drop off their bags so we can show them the new tiny home,” he said. Although there wasn’t much to show them except the empty shell at this point, it got the subject off of me and away from Grayson’s questions.  

The four of us walked past Grayson in the driveway as he turned to watch us. I could tell something about this situation didn’t sit right with him, but I didn’t know why. He had a girlfriend. Ethan staying at my house was no concern of his.

We walked through the door and immediately I regretted being there. I could tell she was still there because there was a woman’s bag on the side table. She spent the night

We gathered in the kitchen, deciding what to do for the evening when Grayson came back into the kitchen with her in tow.

“Hey Mom, Cam, I want you to meet someone special. This is my girlfriend Alyana” Grayson said introducing the three of them.

Someone special. The words stung my ears. I hated what this was doing to me. How the heck was I supposed to come to work every day if I couldn’t even get through 5 minutes of being here. Surely now that she’s been introduced to everyone, Grayson plans to have her around a lot more. I was going to have to handle that. 

I turned my attention to Ethan who was looking at his phone, ignoring the interaction in the room. He looked up from his phone and pulled my chair closer to his so I could see the video he was watching.

______________

Cameron POV

Surely my brother was joking. He presented this girl to us like she was some shiny surf board he won at the teen choice awards. The fake smile plastered on her face when she said hi was enough to make me puke. I saw right through her, and I knew if I saw through her so did Ethan. Grayson might be his twin but we were more on the same wavelength when it came to stuff like this. We can both spot a faker from miles away, while Grayson has the worst judge of character of anyone I know, clearly. Considering Y/N is sitting in the dining room with Ethan while this dumb ass is flaunting a girl I could replicate off of Instagram in a second.

“Hi, I’m Cameron” I tried my best to smile.

“I know! I’ve heard so much about the famous Cam” she said

“Cameron” I corrected her.

Grayson shot me a look. He knew I was being salty, but she didn’t know me. She didn’t know anything about me. Surely we were not on a nickname basis. My family and friends call me Cam, not some bimbo who’s using my brother for clout.

“Right, Cameron” she giggled her fake giggle.

I smiled roughly and turned to go sit with Ethan and Y/N. Surely whatever they were talking about would be much more fun than what was happening here.

______________

Y/N POV

Cam came and sat down next to me, smiling and placing her head on my shoulder. Did she know something I didn’t? Why did that smile seem sympathetic?

“Hey, do you guys want to go down to the beach for a little while and then grab some food?” Ethan broke the silence.

“Is that even a question? I absolutely want to go anywhere but here” I laughed while nudging him with my shoulder.

“I’m in, let me go get Mom,” Cameron said

“Can we please just go the four of us?” I asked Ethan quietly. I really didn’t know if I could handle staring at Grayson and Bimbo Barbie all night. Was I jealous of her? It was surely starting to seem that way.

Ethan nodded in agreement and quickly sent a text. At first, I didn’t know to whom until a pissed off Grayson stormed into the room.

“SO FIRST YOU SPEND THE ENTIRE NIGHT AT OUR ASSISTANTS HOUSE AND NOW YOU’RE EXCLUDING ME FROM PLANS WITH OUR FAMILY?!” Grayson shouted as Ethan stood over me in defense

Our Assistant? So now that’s how he saw me? What the fuck is happening.

“We just figured you guys might want some alone time Gray, no big deal, we’ll bring you guys back food if you want” Ethan covered for me. Again

I looked between Ethan and Grayson for a minute. Them arguing wasn’t really anything out of the norm, but I knew secretly it was because of me. Over my stupid feelings and it made me feel horrible.

“It’s okay E, I don’t have to go, you guys should go out as a family. Your mom and sister just got here, you should catch up” I tried to intervene.

“Well, all I see in this room is family” Lisa chimed in looking at me square in the eye. She was not going to let me bow out that easily. Little did I know she had come here for me, not them.

“Fine Ma, then we’ll all go,” Grayson said in a chilling tone, giving Ethan a smug look.

Great so it’ll just be me, the Dolans and Bimbo Barbie . One big happy family.

[xonepeacelovex]

happy crush | pt. 1

stray kids’ kim seungmin: from a stranger to a crush

happy crush | pt. 2

*ting* Where are you? The class is already starting.

*typing* Chill dude. I’m almost there.

You replied to your friend while breeze walking and trying not to trip.

Finally, you are in the gates of the university, showing your ID to the guard to let you go through.

“Thanks.” you said to the guard in which she return with a smile.

You dab your sweat forming in your forehead and passing by a mirror to look if you are presentable enough.

Geez. You shouldn’t be late in this class. You paid for this and you should take advantage of every minute of it.

But you live 2 hours away from the university and you also can’t help the habit you have of being late.

Another thing being late in this class, it is hard to get through to your table.

Luckily, you have friends to save you a seat.

“What score did you get?” your friend asked you.

Looking at your test paper with a barely passing grade, you sigh. 

“I’m not going to pass the boards with this score.”

“Dude, we have months to prepare for this. We can do this”

You doubt what she said but you said thanks anyway.

While you are travelling home, you thought you can never be late anymore. Time wasted is money wasted.

With a determination to change, somehow tricking yourself that if you can change then you can pass the boards.

The next morning you are up earlier than the usual. With this new found determination to change and not waste your parents’ money you prepared for the class.

Surprisingly, you enjoyed this quiet morning. Without much passengers in the train. The soft warm of the morning sun is convincing you that today will be a good day even when you slept at 3 am.

You thanked again the guard while showing your ID.

The halls are quiet and you have enough time to actually look at yourself in the mirror.

You have one hour before the class so you are sure you have your alone time in the room but you are wrong.

There’s a man who looks super focus on his ipad and his books. Maybe listening to music because he didn’t hear you opening the noisy heavy door.

You passed by him, quietly, sitting on your chair. You also tried to study before the class.

Everyday, the same guy is sitting at that chair, earlier than you, doing the same thing, studying.

It is like he reminds you everyday that you too should be studying.

But your scores didn’t change. You are stress. You are pressured even though your parents didn’t seem to care if you pass or not.

Habits are hard to change, you need effort. Today it seems like your effort to wake up earlier are all thrown away.

You are trying to make it a 21 days and it’s only your seventh day of trying for pete’s sake.

The class is already full, you are sweating and your are confused why the room is full.

You decided to sit at the back, texting your friends where you are.

Turns out your decision is good, the instructor is calling students and making them stand up to answer questions. This is your least favorite subject so you are relieved.

Instructors never goes to the back of the classroom but when you saw him walking towards you, you are nervous.

When he stopped at the chair, the boy standing up. The boy who always studies and gets the highest score in your least favorite subject.

“What’s your name?”

“Kim Seungmin.”

That’s his name. You tried to sneak your phone and searched his name on social media.

“Gotcha.” you whispered. You are intrigued by this boy who is always earlier than you and always reading books and writing notes.

These past few weeks, he’s been a constant reminder to you from the universe to study hard.

So you are studying harder then ever.

You see every relationships starts with curiosity. And that’s what you have with him.

The thing is, he checked every box in your “My Ideal Man”.

He loves his family, he fears God and he sings. He is a part of a choir.

Gosh, he’s perfect. He’s also intelligent.

And from them on, you started to notice everything about him. Who are his friends, what university he came from, what he eats...

You are deeply curious about the boy which is bad because you need to focus on studying.

You also started to smile at him, shying away when you crossed paths with eyes like a deer caught in the headlight, which is a tell to his friends and maybe to him that you have a deepening interest with the boy.

And you might actually drunkenly, added him on his social media.

Which both a curse and a blessing.

Definitely his friends know you have a crush on him. They smile whenever you two are around.

And he just says shut up to his friends, which you are not sure if it breaks your heart or you are thankful for him.

But that is, he never return your smile.

Maybe, for him, you are just a girl who added him on his social media and smiles at him, maybe a little weird and creepy too.

So, you stopped smiling at him and trying not to notice him. You are also embarrassed of his friends’ knowing smiles and looks at him whenever you are around.

You seem like a real creepy person aren’t you?

You heave a sigh, still determined to do better.

Your scores are getting better. Practice never betrays you.

You continued studying, more sensitive than you’ve ever been. Pressured and stressed, combination you can only describe yourself.

You cried once talking with your mother. Her hugging you tightly and saying that the result never really matter. You can try again.

That’s when you decided to do this for you.

Copyright © 2020 xonepeacelovex All rights reserved.

[sheeple]

Real thing | 3: Mr Qian

GIFS NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION. Genre(s): mafia!au / hacker!au Group(s): NCT Pairing(s): Qian Kun x fem!reader / Jung Jaehyun x fem!reader Summary: (Y/n), a college student who joined WayV ─ an international crime organization ─ for some extra cash as one of their hackers. But what happens when she gets mixed up in a lot more heavy stuff than only sitting behind a computer and disabling security cameras? Warning(s): Just mafia stuff / light torture / kidnapping [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist]

I wake up with my hands and feet tied to a chair and a lot of questions. For one, where the heck am I? Who took me? For how long was I out? Why am I here?

A door behind me opens and it makes a sound of very heavy metal. It slams closed as massive footsteps circle around me, a shiver runs up and down my spine.

A guy with dark hair and broody eyes grabs a chair from somewhere out of the room and places it in front of me, with its back towards me and sits on it. 

I know this guy from somewhere but I can’t put my finger on it.

“Well, well, well”, he says, cocking his head to the side. “Look who we have here.”

I bite on the inside of my cheek and frown. “Do I know you? I feel like I know you from somewhere.” I study him better but still can’t figure it out.

He looks too old to be in one of my lectures and too... rough looking to be a friend of a friend. Maybe he’s part from a gang? Could be WayV? Or maybe the one Jaehyun’s from.

“Go stand outside Winwin”, says a disembodied voice and I freeze in fear. I know that voice...

“Good afternoon, miss Zela. Or should I call you (Y/n)?”

I suck in my breath when I see Mr Qian take place on the chair in front of me. He doesn’t really look pleased, a pair of cold eyes boring directly into mine.

“S... Sir”, I nod with a slightly uncomfortable smile knowing I’m in deep shit right now.

“I’m going to keep it short since I don’t have all day. For who do you work?”

“For you, Sir.” My breathing starts to become more erratic and panicked. I do not know what will happen if Qian doesn’t believe me.

He angrily throws the chair across the room before turning towards me and he grabs my hair to pull my head back. “Don’t fucking lie to me, I don’t like when I get lied to”, he hisses.

“I- I don’t! I only work for you, Sir!” I start to shake and pray to God that either Lucas or Yangyang come bursting through that door to save my ass.

“Then how did you know of the poison in the food?” Qian looks deeply in my eyes with the coldest look I’ve ever seen. 

“The two who were assigned to poison you are idiots. They were talking about it just in the hallway of my college.”

Qian reaches in the pocket of his leather jacket and pulls out a knife and presses the blade against the skin of my neck while jerking my head even further back if that’s even possible. 

I let out a yelp of pain as tears start to form in my eyes, blurring the furious looking Qian.

A loud bang on the door makes Qian look up before another person throws the door open. “Stop!”, yells Lucas and he hurries towards us. He comes into view followed by Yangyang and pushes Qian away from me. 

Yangyang quickly starts to undo the zip ties that hold me in place and looks at my face with worry in his eyes. “You’re bleeding...”, he points out and I reach with shaking hands for my neck to discover that Qian pushed the blade a bit too harsh against my skin - or more into my skin.

Lucas gives me a handkerchief and makes me push is against my neck. “Are you okay?” 

I nod blankly with a shaky breath. “I... I guess? How did you found me?” I turn towards Yangyang and he shows me a red dot on his phone screen. 

“That tracker I put on your phone.”

“You put a tracker in me?!”, I say with wide eyes and he bites his lip, looking away. 

“It doesn’t matter right now, come on let’s get you home.” Lucas reaches out his hand for me to take and he pulls me out of the room, Yangyang wrapping an arm around me for support and warmth.

“Absolutely not! You think you can just barge into the room and take her away?” To be honest, Mr Qian sounds far over furious. 

“Look, Kun, I don’t fucking care. She’s one of us and innocent. She’s actually helping us, all right?” Lucas turns around and looks at me with a look saying that I have to explain. 

“Ah-ah yes! I’m currently worming myself into one of the suspects’ life! Make sure he trusts me enough to share some secrets.”

“And who gave you permission for it?” Qian folds his arms over each other and looks really unimpressed at it all. 

“Nobody. I saw my chance and took it.” Without another look, I walk out of the room supported by Yangyang.

That night I could hardly get any sleep of course. The events from that day kept playing over and over. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Qian again so I stayed up, drinking too much coffee that it isn’t even healthy anymore.

The day after is also not really working for me. The lessons are long, everybody’s constantly bumping into me, and I almost fell asleep three times during every class. 

Imagine how happy I am as I take place on my usual spot in the back of Mechatronics and lay my head on my backpack.

“Hey, you okay?”, questions Jaehyun as he places his stuff on the empty space next to me. 

I let out a groan and turn my head around, facing him. “I haven’t slept in almost fourteen hours...”

Jaehyun frowns. “That’s... really bad for your health. Did something happen?”

I chew on my bottom lip as I see him looking at me with great concern in his eyes. I can’t tell him that my boss kidnapped and lightly tortured me because he was thinking I worked against him. 

“I erm... my neighbours are... really loud... while doing you know.” I almost facepalm myself at the stupid excuse that comes out of my mouth. I was better off by telling him it was nightmares. 

Jaehyun’s face is for a second twisted in confusion before his face falls and he looks horrified. “That’s so gross! Why can’t people just be quiet when they... you know?” He whispers the last part.

“I’ve been asking myself the same question, dude.” I finally raise my head off my bag to take out my laptop and notebook when Mrs Shin walks into the classroom.

“Hey, if you want to ─ I don’t know ─ lean on my shoulder to get some sleep, I’ll gladly take some notes for you. So don’t worry and close your eyes for a bit.”

I smile gratefully and let my head drop against his shoulder and close my eyes without him saying it two times. An offer like this is rare.

“Where even is Doyoung?”, I mumble softly, half asleep.

Jaehyun chuckles and strokes a strand of hair away from my face. “He’s sick today, something to do with the flu or something.”

I answer with a hum and quickly doze off, finding that Qian for the first time since last night doesn’t haunt me in my dreams. 

Jaehyun wakes me up once the class has ended and I shoot up, wide awake. 

“I- he- what?!”, I ask, not really knowing where I am. But I see the desks, the teacher, and Jaehyun. I quickly realize that I’m still in class and a blush spreads over my cheeks.

“You okay?”, he questions with a small smile on his lips and I nod sheepishly. We pack up our things and walk out of the class while saying Mrs Shin goodbye. 

“I hope I didn’t snore”, I joke, scratching the back of my head. Yangyang has told me countless times that I snore. Imagine that I snored and that while I slept on him! Oh gosh...

“Nah, you slept like a baby. Quite cute, actually.” 

I stop in my tracks and look at him in disbelieve. He’s so... smooth. 

“I erm... thank you for taking notes... and letting me use your shoulder as a pillow.”

Jaehyun holds his hand open and motions a ‘come closer’ sign. “Give me your phone.”

I hesitantly give it to him and he starts to type away on it. “I’ll put my number and email in your contacts so if you ever need me, I’m just one call away. And don’t hesitate to call when something’s wrong”, Jaehyun looks into my eyes and I nod hastily. 

“There”, he says before handing me my phone back, “now I have your number and email too.” Jaehyun holds up his phone and I see that he has sent himself a text with my own contact information. 

We walk towards the parking space and I fetch my keys out of my bag. “Thank you. See you Monday?”, I question, smiling slightly towards the guy. 

“See you Monday”, he smiles back with a nod. “And remember, call me okay?”

“Okay.”

Jaehyun turns around and walks towards his car. I wave one last time before stepping into mine and driving away. A heavy breath leaves my lips. I’m just in but it feels like the stakes are really high.

[mr-starkerbutgay]

This is the writing I did for @starker-valentines. @lokitonypeter asked for Tony thinking Peter forgot Valentine's Day but Peter didn't and their second prompt was Peter proposing to Tony. I sorta mixed them both for them.

------

Is Tony upset his Peter forgot about Valentine’s Day? No. Why? Well first off Tony doesn’t really care much for Valentine’s Day in the first place, second, Peter tends to forget small holidays like this. Last year he forgot Easter was a thing. So basically Tony really had no reason to be upset with his love.

The thing that did bother him though is that he hasn’t seen Peter anywhere at the college campus. This is very strange because they had an art class this morning and a math class but Peter never showed up for either. Now it was late in the day and starting to get dark which makes Tony think that maybe Peter is sick? He hasn’t sent any text to Tony letting him know. Also, Tony made plans for them to Netflix and chill after their long day.

That’s the only thing that truly worries Tony, is the lack of communication between Peter and him today.

As he walks around the campus he grabs a quick smoothie. He would’ve gotten one for Peter too if he were here right now, but he’s not. Tony continues to walk until he sees one of Peter’s friends, Ned. he runs up to him, smoothie splashing around in its cup in his hand, and he calls out to Ned.

“Dude, have you see Peter at all today? He hasn’t called me or texted me and I’m getting slightly worried about him”, Tony asks Ned in a rush. He glances down at Ned’s hand and notices all the textbooks that he’s carrying. It’s ridiculous for Ned to even be walking with so many books in his hands.

“Oh, Peter? No haven’t seen hiMMM-”, Ned somehow manages to trip over his own feet and fall to the ground. Tony tried to help catch him but was too slow. All of Ned’s papers and books fly to the ground and display themselves in a scattered matter. Tony stretches his hand out for Ned and he gladly takes the offer for help.

“Here, I’ll help ya with this mess.” Tony and Ned both lean down and start grabbing everything. They pick up new worksheets, old worksheets, new textbooks, very old textbooks that are probably older than him. Then Tony picks up a book that doesn’t seem like it belongs int the pile. The cover shows the big green lady, better known as the Statue of Liberty.

“What class is this for? You don’t like learning about statues and boring history.” Tony smiles at the other kid and hands him the book. Ned thanks him and takes it, this time pushing all of his mess into his backpack instead of keeping it in his arms.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just wanted to get caught up on New York and such.” Ned looks over at Tony and shrugs his shoulders.

Tony grins and looks up at the sky, nodding his head, before looking back down at Ned. “This is like a really weird thing to just mention but did you know that Peter and I actually met at the Statue of Liberty? We were both of highschool class trips and somehow we both walked away from all the big crowds and managed to talk by a couple of trees near the water. I think we laughed and talked for hours if I’m honest with ya.”

“Dude, Peter used to never stop talking about you! Every day he always had something to say about you or weird facts about the statue. I couldn’t get him to stop!” Ned smiles at Tony but then a worried look crosses his face. “Oh no! I’m gonna be late for class! Sorry about not knowing where Peter is! Hope you have luck finding him.” After that Ned runs off, a backpack full of books and all.

Even though that conversation was good and it brought up lovely memories, Tony still is determined to find Peter. As he walks to his dorm he pulls his phone from his pocket and dials up Peter’s Aunt May. Aunt May immediately answers the phone with a cheery voice.

“Oh hey, Tony! Whatcha need kiddo?”, Aunt May asks nicely. Tony honest to god loves May. She reminds him so much of his mother and he loves his mother to the moon and back.

“Hey May I was just wondering if you’ve heard from Peter at all today. I haven’t been able to get ahold of him. It’s really starting to worry me.” Tony sees the stairs to his dorm and quickens his pace. He wants to check Peter’s room before assuming anything bad has happened to him. No need to start freaking out if Peter is just being an asshole playing video games in bed.

“No I sorry honey. I haven’t heard from him at all. Maybe he’s still getting ready.” Through the phone, May sounds like she’s walking around and that other people are in the room with her.

“What do you mean that he might be getting ready?” Tony doesn’t understand at all what that could mean. Is she saying that Peter might have slept in and is just now getting ready? Or is she implying something different?

“Oh it’s nothing dear. Nothing to worry about at least. He’d be ready by now. Knowing Peter, he’s never late.”

“But May he never showed up to class today. In any of them actually.”

“No not class, silly.” May giggles from the other side of the phone.

Tony finds it weird that she doesn’t go more in-depth with her strange guess but pushes it off because he doesn’t need any more confusion right now. Tony opens up the front door to the dorm building and begins to climb up the stairs. He says hi to a couple of his buddies like Rhodey and Steve who seem to be in rushes as they both run down the stairs. He continues to talk to May on the phone on his way to Peter’s floor, a feeling of hope coming to him.

“May what are you doing today? Sounds like there are a lot of people with you.” Tony asks curiously about all the noise in the background.

“My friend Amy is getting married soon and she wants me to help her plan the webbing.”

Tony lightly laughs a little, “Don’t you mean wedding, May? You said webbing, not wedding.” He gets to Peter’s room and knocks on the door.

“Yes, that’s what I meant. Sorry dear but I’m gonna have to get off the phone. Call me if you find Peter.” May hangs up leaving Tony with questions.

The door doesn’t open, making Tony worry more. He knocks again, this time harder than the first, thinking that maybe Peter just didn’t hear the first time. Again, no response. He knocks a third time but doesn’t stop until the door swings open to a very pissed off Flash, Peter’s roommate who’s a complete douchebag.

“What the heck do you want? It’s 7 o’clock already.” Flash whisper yells.

“Who sleeps at 7 pm on a Friday?”

Flash rolls his eye annoyingly and points behind him to his tv, “Who said I was sleeping. I’m playing Minecraft right now and you’re literally bothering my game time.”

Tony closes his eyes ad shakes his head. Who plays Minecraft on a Friday, Tony could never understand. Even Peter likes to play games on the weekends when they could be out partying like normal college students. Tony remembers why he’s here and ducks his head in the room. The room is too dark to see anything but the tv screen so he pushes past a protesting Flash and walks over to Peter’s bed.

The bed is neatly made like usual but a small sticky note lays on top of the pillow. Tony takes it and reads it to himself. Flash simply shakes his head and goes back to sitting way too close to his tv screen.

The note in Tony’s hand says, “Hey baby, I need you to meet me at the big torch.” Immediately he knows where to go, folds the note, and sticks it into his front pants pocket. He takes a glance at the other college student and walks out of the room, leaving the door open because he really doesn’t like this Flash guy. He can hear Flash cuss a little bit at him as he walks back down the steps he just walked up not too long ago.

Once he gets outside he touches a button on his wristband with his pointer finger and middle finger, which activates his suit (just assume that he made the suit as a college student). Now with his Iron-Man suit on he pushes off the ground and zooms through the sky. He dodges skyscrapers and hotels as his eyes make contact with the Statue of Liberty.

From a distance, he can make out a blue dot floating next to the statue. He quickly gets nearer to the dot and realizes its Peter who is laying right by a giant web. As he gets closer and can now see what the web says on it. As he read ‘Will You Marry Me?’ in big letters, his heart fills with so many emotions he can’t react.

“Anthony Edward Stark I know we are just in college and that we’ve only been dating for 3 years but will you make me incredibly happy and be my player 2 in the next levels of our life?” Peter swings down to the ground right in front of the massive web and gets on one knee, a giant smile on his face. A silver ring is in between his fingers.

With his suit, Tony lands in front of Peter, the suit going back to its original compartments. Shock covers his face as he stares up at the 4 words above him and then back down his nervous boyfriend.

“So? Will you join our 2 player game?” Peter patiently waits for Tony’s answer still scared he might say no. Tony’s face morphs from shock to a wide excitement. He quickly grabs Peter and picks him up, spinning them around in circles as tears fall from both of their eyes from too much emotion.

“Yes, yes 3000 times yes! I want to be with you for the rest of our lives!” He stops spinning them and his grin doesn’t dissaprear as he pulls Peter close to him. Their lips meet and thats when the fireworks Peter ordered go off. Tony pulls away and watches above him to see red, yellow, and blue fireworks of every shape and size. His lips meet Peter’s again this time with both of them laughing and crying.

“I love you so much, Tony. I’ve been planning this for the past couple of months and i just knew today had to be the day. I knew I would have to skip classes today so I had Ned ask my professors for all the notes.”

Tony thinks about it and how now that makes sense with why Ned had so many textbooks.

“Not to mention that he also had to get the Statue of Liberty in your head today. I bet you mentioned our first time meeting each other because every time someone brings up the statue you also start with that story. Now we have a new story to tell.” Peter smiles at Tony, proud of his smart planning.

“Wait, was your Aunt in on it too?” Tony’s eyes widen, now feeling dumb for not seeing all the subtle signs he’s received all day.

“Yeah, she knew you would call her so she made up a false story. She was actually with me all day which is who you heard over the phone.”

“Was your roommate part of the plan?” Tony cringes as he mentions Flash.

“No, I don’t think anyone told him.” Peter now has a confused look on his face, slightly curious why Tony asked.

“I went to your room and he was playing some video game. I just thought that might have been a clue to your proposal with the whole ‘Player 2’ thing, which by the way was so adorable.” Tony cups Peter’s cheek with his hand. They stare into each other’s eyes, both of them feeling blessed and comfortable.

“You know I love you, right?” Tony asks as he leans in close to Peter and pecking his lips and resting his forehead against Peter’s.

“Yes, and it’s the one thing I want for the rest of my life. I love you too Tony.” Peter presses his lips against Tony. The kiss is filled with passion and love, making it one of the best kisses they’ve ever had and their new favorite memory.

[do-not-call-me-meathead]

aposiopesis (part two)

My Orphan Black fic on A03 

part 1   part 3   part 4  part 5  part 6  part 7

@agoddamnsupernova

Scott wasn’t saying anything. Not that it was incredibly odd that he wasn’t talking, but Cosima could tell that there was something that he wanted to say, but was holding it back. She didn’t know if it was something about her and Sarah or about his few hours with Felix, but she could tell that he was keeping it quiet for a reason unbeknownst to her.

“Where did Felix take you?” She asked him to try to get him to start talking. She even poked him a few times, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was lost in his own thoughts.

Scott blushed and answered sheepishly, “A few bars.”

It was vague, but Cosima didn’t want to press for more. Scott had always shown her privacy and respect when it came to her personal life, and she didn’t want to push him away with any of her own meddling.

“Well, thank you. Seriously, dude. Sarah and I… we needed that talk, you know?”

Scott nodded and swiveled in his chair to finally look at her. “You looked really happy when we walked in. Felix told me he was worried about it, but I guess it all went alright? Not that I know what’s really going on. But my point is, I haven’t seen you that happy in a long time.”

Cosima could read between the lines. She knew that he was really saying that he hadn’t seen her this happy since she was with Delphine. She didn’t know if that was exactly true. Delphine made her feel electric and passionate and vibrant. Sarah… Sarah made her laugh and feel warm. It was different.

“Everyone’s having a rough time right now. I think… it was just what we needed at the moment. Did Felix tell you about Alison and Donnie?”

A text early in the morning the next day made Cosima wonder if Sarah ever slept. Not that Cosima hadn’t been awake when she received the text. Kendall’s death had been plaguing her dreams. Sometimes Kendall was replaced by Delphine and she imagined seeing them getting killed over and over and over again. She wondered if Sarah had similar nightmares. 

The texts turned into a phone call. 

"Oi, Cos,” Sarah murmured softly with an almost husky-just-woke-up voice that made her accent sound that much more pronounced. "Hope I didn’t wake you."

“You’re fine, Sarah. Any news? On MK or Donnie or…�� 

"I think Alison’s able to visit Donnie today. With Fee and Adele. I’m hopin’ this turns out to be a My Cousin Vinny scenario with Adele and she’s secretly a genius or somethin’. Or it could be total shite. I’ve been warned to keep out of it."

Cosima chuckled at the idea of Sarah actually staying out of something (she didn’t think that was possible). She could imagine Mrs. S begging Sarah to bite her tongue about Adele being the family lawyer. 

“And Felix is going to tell Adele that Alison is your…” 

"Twin. I dunno how we’ll keep all this from her but whatever. Art’s still pissed, though, even if this all because of Neolution. But I can’t really judge Alison with the drugs, though, can I?"

“We all do stupid, impulsive things, right? Isn’t that what you said? None of us are perfect.” 

"Oi!" Sarah shouted in a tone that would have scared any person who didn’t know her well, causing Cosima to snort. "Are you sayin’ I’m not perfect, Niehaus?"

“Yo, my hands are in the air in surrender, Manning. I’m not saying anything.”

Sarah laughed, her voice ringing slightly, causing an echo on the phone. Cosima wished that she could hear the laugh in person. Her laugh always sounded raw, like her voice wasn’t completely used to it. 

"I guess there’s a reason why they call you smart, Cos. Speakin’ of, MK did call. She’s gonna hook us up to Susan somehow. I told her that you need to be involved too. I’d come over to you but… S is under the impression that Neos might be after me."

That didn’t surprise Cosima in the slightest, but it did make her wonder about Sarah’s foster mother. “How’s Siobhan doing?” 

"She’s not angry with me anymore, but she’s angry, Cosima. Not at you or us or anythin’. But at Neos and Evie Cho and Duko. Kira’s ‘specially worried ‘bout her. I dunno, Cos. I feel… like something's happenin’. Or about to happen. I dunno who to trust."

Cosima understood that feeling better than anyone. Trust was something that was easy for the scientist to gain, but once she loses it… She immediately thought of Delphine and Shay and how she hadn’t felt like she could completely trust someone she was sleeping with for years. 

“I know, Sarah. But there’s a bunch of people that are on our side. It’s my turn to be optimistic. We’re going to get the cure and we’re going to destroy Neolution.” 

Sarah sighed with what sounded like tiredness. "Yeah, but at what cost?"

.......

Her screen was blank for a few minutes until she could see everyone. Sarah, Susan, Rachel, and MK. This was what she was waiting for. Scott was by her side, which was reassuring. The two of them had finally come up with an idea for a cure that might actually work.

“Yo, Rachel.”

"Yo."

The rest of the conversation wasn’t as exciting as those first words. She was surprised that Rachel and Sarah hadn’t begun fighting on the video call, but there was something strange happening on Sarah’s end that made Cosima question what was happening over there at the safe house. She was even more caught off guard when Sarah had shut her computer off while they were in the middle of a conversation with Susan and Rachel, not that it seemed to faze them at all.

It was time for her to finally voice her idea. She didn’t want to work with them. She barely wanted to converse with them. But the only way she could actually pull off this cure was with their help.

“So,” Cosima finally began, knowing that she couldn’t hold back any theories if she ever wanted a cure (even if that meant working with their enemies). “I have a couple of ideas.”

........

She had texted Sarah. More than once. She didn’t want to bother her, but she was concerned with how abruptly she ended the video call. She tried to not read too much into it (Sarah was infamous for her unread text messages) but it was almost impossible to not be worried with everything else going on.

And besides that, she needed to talk to her. After hours of debating possibilities for the cure, they could only come up with one possible solution. One possible solution that Cosima actually thought might work. She hated to admit it, but Susan and Rachel were fairly brilliant. They kept up with all her insane thinking.

She was excited to tell Sarah about this new possibility, but she was also terrified. Not only did she need some of Sarah’s eggs, but she would also have to go to the island to actually do the science in a lab that was much more qualified than their own.

The door blasted open, interrupting her thoughts and conversation with Scott about what she would have to bring to the island. She was surprised to find Siobhan standing at the door with a huge ass gun in her hand. On instinct, Cosima almost raised her hands up in the air, but S didn’t look angry at her.

“Duko’s comin’ here. Art and Sarah too. You two are going to stay down here and not say a word. No matter what. Got it, loves? Don’t come back up until someone gets you.”

Cosima and Scott shared a look but they didn’t have the time to ask her about what the hell she was talking about. It frightened them, but they followed her directions. They knew not to go against her orders (that would be a death wish).

Both of them listened intently to the room above them, but they could only hear murmurs of familiar voices. Cosima had expected screaming or yelling or something horrifying as that, but she barely heard a thing until… the indistinguishable bang. Cosima immediately grasped Scott’s arm. After Kendall’s murder, she had hoped that she would never have to hear gunfire again. After a few minutes, the door opened for a brief second, but only for a short enough period for Hell Wizard to enter the basement.

“Duko’s dead,” Hell Wizard announced, looking as pale as a ghost. “Detective Bell and Sarah left.”

Cosima felt like fainting. She thought the idea of anyone else getting murdered would be horrifying, but part of her actually felt a wave of relief to find out that Duko was dead and wouldn’t hurt anyone else in the family. She knew Kendall’s death was only partially avenged. They still had to find a cure and put a stop to Evie Cho.

She felt her pocket buzz.

Sarah Manning: i gotta see kira, i’ll come clean tomorrow, S’ crew will be there in a few to get the body

Cosima Niehaus: Are you OK, Sarah?

Sarah Manning: i’ll update u tomorrow,,, pls dont go upstairs

Cosima thought about texting her back, begging her to tell her everything, but she knew that she couldn’t push her. That it would only push Sarah away from her. Instead, she put her phone down and announced to the others what Sarah had told her.

Scott just shook his head and returned to the computer while Hell Wizard offered a pot brownie. Cosima didn’t refuse.

.........

Someone was shaking her awake. She didn’t know when she fell asleep (or how exactly she fell asleep after last night) but when she woke up, her head ached. Somehow, Hell Wizard must have convinced her to drink too. Not a good mix.

“You okay, geek monkey?” Sarah asked her with pure concern and crossed arms. “Party hard or somethin’?”

Cosima sat up, rubbed her eyes, and realized that it was just the two of them in the basement. “Where’s--”

“When I got here, Scotty boy and Wizard boy were both scrubbin’. They don’t seem too thrilled with my presence.”

Cosima rolled her eyes. “Well, most people don’t like it when you kill someone a few feet away from them. But hey, that’s just a guess.”

Sarah glared at her. “Piss off, Cos. I thought you’d be the last person who’d be angry at Duko’s death.” When the scientist looked away from her, she sighed. "Cosima, S had to. For Kendall.”

“I get it, Sarah,” Cosima snapped. “I just would have liked to know before it happened, you know? A little heads up or something? Because dammit, Sar. I would have liked to not be here when it happened.”

Sarah sat down onto the bed next to Cosima and stared at her own muddy boots. “Loads happened yesterday, Cosima. I know that sounds like an excuse, but it’s true. Alison was threatened by Duko to give up my location in return for not knockin’ Donnie off. The only way to make sure no one died was to kidnap Duko and kill ‘im.”

Cosima raised her eyebrows. Sarah wasn’t wrong. A lot had happened. “But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have called me at the very least. Jesus, Sarah! Why can’t you just let someone into your life so you don’t have to go through all this alone?”

Sarah jumped up and headed for the stairs, ready to run away. Back turned to the scientist, Sarah said, “I should’ve told you. You’re right, Cos. I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark. But I can’t… I fucked that up. Shite. It’s what I do.”

Cosima’s anger dissipated from her body, though she didn’t quite know why. “You’re so dramatic, Manning. And I thought Alison was bad.”

The lighter tone in the scientist’s voice made Sarah turn around. “That’s the worst thing you coulda said to me. She’s a bloody theater actress for fuck’s sake. Though, I did grow up with Fee. Maybe he rubbed off a lil on me, yeah?”

“Just a little. But seriously, Sarah. Why are your communication skills so damn awful?”

Sarah only shrugged and felt her body condense into itself. She didn’t want to talk about herself or her fucked up nature or why she was so shit at life. In fact, she avoided those conversations at all costs. Which was why she normally avoided Cosima most of the time too. Cosima was the only one who wanted to know that kind of stuff about Sarah.

She turned around again and said, “Yeah, well, I dunno, do I? I gotta go see Kira--”

Cosima ran over and grabbed Sarah’s hand as she tried to walk off. She didn’t know what to say when Sarah looked at her, her eyes watering and lips quivering slightly (Cosima wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t been staring so intensely). She hadn’t wanted to piss her off, but she needed answers. Sarah had almost always been an enigma to her. She wasn’t one at first, not with her bitchy attitude and con artist tendencies. But now that Sarah was their leader, their person, she felt like she knew her less and less.

“Sarah… I’m a blunt person. So truthful to a degree that I like end up offending half the people that I’ve met.”

The other woman didn’t know where she was going with this. “Yeah, good for ya, Cos.”

Cosima grumbled. “What I’m trying to say is, I am going to be honest with you. It’s who I am, Sarah. And honestly, I don’t understand you. You act like nothing affects you until it does. You struggle with loving people and yet you’re the most loyal person I know. And you’re always alright, even when you’re not. I just want to know who you are, but you won’t let me.”

Sarah wanted to let go of Cosima’s hand and run. Run far and fast. But her grip was strong and something in Cosima’s eyes told her that this is what the scientist needed, though Sarah didn’t understand why.

“It’s not just you, Cos.” Sarah confided when she couldn’t think of a way out. “Why do you think I pushed Cal to leave? Why do you think I keep S at arm’s length and left Kira? Felix is the only one who’s ever opened me up. And that’s because he forced me. After years of bloody naggin’. It’s got nothing to do with you, yeah?”

That didn’t make Cosima feel any better. She could have guessed all of that. “But why, Sarah? Why can’t you let me in? Let me help you?”

Sarah sighed and wiped her nose that was running with her sleeve. “Because I’m an orphan, Cos. I grew up unwanted. Jumped from foster home to foster home that was either too crowded, too handsy, or too damn lonely. I didn’t have someone like you growin’ up. Or Alison or Cal or anyone. Not until Fee. But even then… Jesus, Cos. Why you askin’ all this?”

Cosima grasped her other hand and tried to smile. “Because I want you to trust me, Sarah. Like I trust you.”

“But I do trust you, Cos. I do. I just wanna protect you from all this shit. That’s why I didn’t tell you about the night I almost ended it with snortin' and drinkin' and shaggin' couples. Or about yesterday. Or all the other shit I’ve kept to myself. You already have so much to deal with. I can take care of everythin’ else.”

Cosima groaned and facepalmed, letting go of the other woman's hands. “But you don’t have to! You’re not the only clone, Sarah! Let someone help you for god sakes!”

Sarah shook her head. “I can’t.”

"Why?"

“Because I deserve this,” She shouted and pounded her chest like she wanted to hit something (and decided to hit herself). “I’ve wasted my shit life doing shit things. Maybe this is the way I can make it better, yeah? You’ve got science, Alison’s got school boards and her plays, Beth was a cop, hell Krystal’s even got cosmetics. I’ve got nothin’. I’m just nothin’ but a shit mother and hustler and lover of abusers.” She fell to her knees before Cosima had a chance to even try to catch her. “Everyone’s better off w’out me.”

“I’m not,” Cosima told her immediately. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around the shaking body. “Listen to me, Sarah. You’re a survivor. Restless, remember? You’re wicked smart. Strong. Brave. You’re my hero. My friend. My… god, Sarah. Do I have to say more for you to understand? We wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. You’re our rock, Sar. Our hope. We need you. I need you.”

Sarah rested her head on Cosima’s lap and held onto the scientist's shirt like she was trying to hold on.

“I feel her, Cos,” Sarah confessed as quietly as she could. “I feel her with me. I see her everywhere. All my dreams are about her. I’m worried that I’m… turnin' into Beth.”

Cosima blinked. She knew that there was a connection between the clones. A connection that couldn't be explained by any science that she was aware of. It was why Kira was unexplainably different. She didn’t understand why Sarah felt connected to Beth (or if anyone else had this feeling), but she wanted to.

“I won’t let that happen. I’ll protect you, just like you protect all of us.”

Instead of telling her about the island and exchange with Rachel like she knew she should have, she dragged Sarah to the bed and commanded her to sleep.

Their fingers intertwined and Sarah, with one last exhale, finally closed her eyes.

...........

Cosima would have never expected Sarah to be cuddly. The lion-hearted girl with the lion’s mane had her body practically wrapped around the scientist’s, her head rested gently into the curve of Cosima’s neck, breathing into her hair. It was surprising and endearing and made Cosima’s heart beat faster than normal. She couldn’t remember being this physically close to someone without sex being involved.

She would have never thought that Sarah would look this delicate as she slept. And she was sure that the punk would be the first to deny it too. She felt Sarah’s warm hands around her body and she didn’t want her to ever peel away. Cosima decided that she could live like this forever. It would be easy, she thought. Simple. The idea of staying this way with Sarah Manning made her grin and smile and it subsequently scared her.

She only felt this way with Delphine.

Sarah had her face. It was obvious and made her shake her head at the idiocy of the immediate thought, but she couldn’t stop staring at it. They had the same face. But it wasn’t the exact same. Or maybe their faces were the exact same and Cosima just imagined little differences because they were incredibly different people with different scars and different stories. Maybe Sarah seemed older because she had done more things and lived a harder life. Maybe Cosima felt younger because she admired Sarah so intensely. But for some reason, Cosima didn’t see Sarah like the rest. She saw her face in Alison, Beth, even Helena. But Sarah?

“Cos, why’re you bloody staring at me?”

Cosima raised her eyebrows. Sarah hadn’t even opened her eyes and yet she somehow knew. She didn’t know if she was freaked out by that or completely intrigued.

“I’d say it was because you’re hot, but I wouldn’t want it to go to your head, weirdo.”

“Narcissist,” Sarah snorted and finally opened her eyes. She moved her body immediately away from the other clone. “Fuck. Didn’t mean to hold you that tight, Niehaus. What time is it anyway?”

Cosima checked the time and sighed. In only a few hours, she was supposed to be in the air on the way to the island and she still hadn’t told Sarah about it.

“Listen, Sarah...” Cosima had already begun to trail off, just looking at the way the punk’s smile faltered and filled with worry and concern. “No, no. It’s nothing bad. Actually, something good. I think… I think we might have figured out the cure.”

Sarah gaped at her and then jumped up out of the bed and shouted, “Holy shite! That’s… that’s… and you’re not playin’? Don’t mess with me, Cos. This is--”

“Real, Sarah. I have good feelings about it. It’s the breakthrough we were all waiting for.”

“That’s bloody amazin’, Cos,” she muttered and ran her fingers through her mane of hair, still gaping in awe with disbelief. “You’re brilliant. I always knew you’d figure it out.”

Cosima felt her stomach knot. She had left out the worst part of the news. On purpose. Knowing Sarah’s moment of pure joy would soon vanish and be replaced with… well… she hoped that it wouldn’t be anger.

She opened her mouth, but Sarah had already started talking again. Shouting, really. In a strangely unlike-Sarah kind of way that would have normally made Cosima extremely thrilled.

“Kira’s gonna jump up and down when she finds out. Honestly, everyone will. Bloody hell. I could just kiss you right now, I’m so fuckin’ happy.”

Sarah was still grinning as if she hadn’t heard the words that came out of her own mouth. But Cosima heard them. Her mouth felt dry and she felt like her heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t stop visualizing it.

Her mouth on Sarah’s.  

She tried to shake it out of her head because she was sure that Sarah hadn’t actually meant that she wanted to kiss her. Besides, Cosima knew that her thoughts would have disturbed the punk. She tried to think about anything else, anything else, but it wasn’t working.

Instead, she blurted, “I need your eggs.”

Sarah froze, no longer jittery, and muttered, “What?”

“For the cure, I mean. We need both Castor sperm and Leda eggs. To make--”

“The original,” Sarah whispered and slouched over slightly. “Yeah, I get it. W-when?”

Cosima scratched her head. “Now would be a good time, actually. I mean, the procedure needs to be done soon. Like really soon.”

Sarah tilted her head with a questioning stare. “What’re you not tellin’ me, Cos?”

Cosima sighed and felt herself wishing that she wasn’t the one who had to tell her this part. “We can’t do this alone, Sarah. We just don’t have the resources.”

Sarah blinked, not connecting the dots yet. “So?”

“So, I’m going to a place with ample resources and… and guidance. I’m going to the island.”

Sarah’s posture immediately changed. She crossed her arms and started pacing around the room, unable to be stopped by any force.

“No. Not with bloody Rachel and Susan.”

Cosima frowned and confessed, “Actually, Rachel’s coming here. With Ira. They’re here to… help. Supposedly. I’m not quite--”

“And you think this is a good idea, ey?” Sarah asked and waved her hands up in her air, getting more pissed off by the second. “Makin’ deals with the devil—“

“Evie Cho and Neolution are the villains here, Sarah!” Cosima interrupted and got up from the bed so that she could walk up to her. “Us not having the cure, that’s our enemy. That’s our killer.”

Sarah shook her head and tried to avoid being near her. “You’ve forgotten all the shit Rachel and Susan have put us through! Cos, I want this cure as much as you do--”

“Really, because I don’t think you’re the one that’s dying, Sarah, even though you sometimes want to.”

Cosima regretted it the second the words flew out of her mouth thoughtlessly. She watched as all the color vanished from the other clone’s face. She and Sarah might not have always seen eye to eye on everything, but she had never made Sarah go silent and pale before. She didn’t know anyone could do that.

Sarah sniffled, backing away from the other woman who tried to reach out, and said, “Yeah, okay, Cos. You got the eggs, yeah? And I’ll play nice with bloody Rachel. I’ll do all this for you, Cosima. Because… Jesus, do I really have to say it out loud? I thought you knew better than anyone that I would do anythin’ to have the sickness instead of you. Jus’ seein’ you… it’s my curse. I’ll give you my bloody eggs.”

She walked away with tears in her eyes. Tears that Cosima knew that she had caused. She slammed her fist into the air and bit her tongue instead of screaming. She didn’t want to scare Scott.

[djgamek1ng]

Log Horizon: To Fade Away (OC story) - Prologue

“Snacks prepared. Food prepared. Done with homework for the weekend. I’m all ready for Homesteading the Noosphere! Let’s do this!”, Damon thought to himself. Damon had been looking forward to the expansion since the announcement as he had burned himself out from the game by playing Elder Tale too much. It was also exciting that Erin, his best friend that moved overseas, was also going to play again. She hadn’t been feeling like playing ever since her move to Japan. They were going to level up again and start being a bit more serious in the game, which they before had treated more casually. “Well, only 8 hours to go until the expansion drops for us over here. However, Japan should have it in about an hour so let me go check in with Erin”, he mumbled to himself.

He hopped on his computer and turned it on. Went to Discord and sent Erin a message. “Sup dork, you ready?” he sent her. “>:o” was her first response. He let out a small laugh, knowing what was coming next. “first off, r00d. second, yes i’m ready give me a sec to plug in my headset”, she sent afterwards. “So… you aren’t ready? If you were you wouldn’t have to grab your headset :p” he sent back. “…dang it” was all he got back from her before she hopped into the voice channel he had set up. He put his headset on and hopped into the call as well. “Hey there!”, he said enthusiastically. “You jerk”, she responded with. “What? What did I do wrong?”, he said very obviously feigning innocence. “You called me a dork! Do you not know how rude that is?!”, she said in an offended way, but it was obvious she was joking around. “Alright alright, I won’t ever call you a dork again”, he said “Good, glad to have that clear- “, she said. “…dork”, he under his breath but hard enough so he knew she could hear it. “Ah! Ugh! Ohhhhh, you-!”, she said while pretending to be angry. He laughed and a couple seconds she started laughing as well.

D: But on a more serious note, how are you doing Erin? Still enjoying your time in Japan? E: Yeah! It’s great here! Very nice people, lots of anime and games and such, super good food. I do wish you and the others were here. D: Good to hear, good to hear. Actually, speaking of the others, have you heard anything from the other two? E: (a bit sad) No, I haven’t yet. Hope they don’t miss the launch. We were gonna play together. D: Yeah… I’ll give it like 15 minutes, then I’ll call either of them to see if they are even awake. E: Sure sure. How have you been by the way Damon? Stuff still good over there? D: Well… yeah…ish. It’s about the usual over here, so I guess you can say that it is good” E: Let me guess ‘but it is still the Netherlands’? D: Yeah, that. Like, nothing is terribly bad, but it is still the Netherlands, so nothing is particularly great either. Especially since we will apparently have a heat wave for the summer… ugh. E: (sarcastically) Oh no… a heat wave… such a disaster. D: Oh c’mon! You know how bad I am with the heat! E: Oh, I do, which still makes no sense btw. D: Why? E: Your parents both like the heat. Your sister likes the heat. Anyone in your family, that I have met at least, likes the heat! D: True, but I’ve always been the weird one in the family, so are you really that surprised? E: No… no, I’m not. But still, it is just a bit of heat! It isn’t going to be that bad! D: Hmph. I’m still not happy about it since I’ll be glued to my fan then. E: I mean, better that than not being able to do anything at all. D: Very true.

They went on like this for a while. At 16:17 his time or 23:17 JST, he called his other two friends, Faye and Ren. He called Faye first and she answered. “Hey Faye! Are you still coming for the expansion launch?”, he said. Faye had just woken up after having done a night shift at her job. “Wait, that’s today? What?”, she answered barely having woken up. “Yeah and in 43… nope, 42 minutes the expansion will launch in Japan! Eri and I are waiting for you”, he said. “OH SHIT, IT IS TODAY! I’ll be on in like 10-15 minutes, I’m so sorry!”, she said in a bit of a panic. “No worries no worries, take your time. See you in a bit!”, he said. “See ya!”, she said back before she hung up. Damon looked up and said “ow, my ear” under his breath. He unmuted himself on Discord for a second and said “Faye is coming, she was still asleep. Should be here in 10 to 15 minutes. Calling Ren now!” “Okay!”, Erin said, happy that Faye was coming online. Damon called Ren’s phone. Ren didn’t answer. “Weird”, Damon thought, and he called again. Again, Ren didn’t answer. Damon called a third time, still no answer. He then sent Ren a text. “Sup dude! You still coming? Expansion launches in 35 minutes-ish. Eri, Fae and I will be in Discord if you are looking for us”.

With that Damian put his phone down and put his headset back on. He unmuted himself on Discord. “I’m back”, he said a bit sad. “What’s up?”, Erin responded. “Ren didn’t pick up his phone at all. Called him 3 times, every time went to voicemail. Left him a text message in the hope he’ll come online before the expansion drops”, Damon responded. “Wait, Ren didn’t pick up the phone? As in… Ren, the one who has his phone practically glued to his side?”, Erin said questioningly. “Yeah, I found it weird as well. Well, nothing to do about it, we’ll just have to wait and see if he comes online. Hopefully, he does”, he said. “Yeah, hopefully”, Erin responded. They waited another 10 minutes for Faye to arrive. In the meantime, both Erin and Damon logged into the game. Suddenly, they heard that someone entered the Discord call. “Hi guys!”, Faye said. “Faye! I’m so happy you are here!”, Erin said. “Hey there”, Damon said. “Heh, well you can thank Damon for that. If he hadn’t called, I would’ve slept through the launch for sure”, Faye continued.

E: I guess so. Thank you, Damon. D: No worries, don’t mention it. F: Hey, where is Ren? D: I had called him a couple times, but he didn’t pick up. Shot him a text message as well. F: Hmm… weird. I guess he might be with his girlfriend. D: Wait, he got a SO again? When the heck did this happen? F: You know when his boyfriend broke up with him? D: Yes, I do remember that. F: Two days later. D: What the… F: At some point you stop questioning these things. E: You really do. D: I… I just have no words. The guy gets SOs left and right (laughs) F: Heh. What about you? Any luck finding anyone? All: (silence) F: Damon? Hello? D: What? O-oh, that was for me? I thought you were talking to Erin. F: Yeah, it was for you. Any luck finding a SO? D: U-uh… E: Ooooooh, that staff has some good stats. It’s so expensive though (a bit defeated at the end) D: O-oh, let me take a look at that Erin. F: Dodging my question. Noted. D: I-I don’t know what you are talking about. H-hey Faye, you might want to log on, expansion is dropping in like 20ish minutes. F: Oh, right. Let me go do that. We’ll talk about that more later (sinister undertone) D: Y-yeah, sure. E: Hmm? I’m sorry, I kind of spaced out, what were you two talking about? D: Not- F: Nothing important, don’t worry about it. E: Okay, if you say so Faye!

This went on. With Faye now also logged in, there the three of them were. Damon’s character: Duran, the level 51 Dwarf Templar. Erin’s character: Gaia, the level 54 Elf Cleric. Faye’s character: StarrySky, the level 56 Human Swashbuckler. They went to grab some stuff from the various stores and such to prepare a bit for expansion drop. Then they went to take a screenshot of them all together about 3 minutes before the patch dropped. They took it in front of one of the buildings in Akihabara. Then the final countdown began.

E: Ah! I’m so excited! D: Same here, can’t wait to get my hands on the new stuff! F: It’s definitely going to be quite big and it won’t be for a bit until we can really dive in as well, but it will be fun when we do get to! E&D: Yeah! D: Oh, countdown is starting! EDF: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! W-what?

All three of them had their screens go jet black and before they could do something, they fell unconscious.

[comfortmarvelimagines]

When You Can’t Find the Quiet pt 3

thank you guys so much for being patient for this! I will preface this with a warning that there is an implied slur (r word) mentioned in here, but is resolved with much fluff. Other than that, hope you enjoy! 

part 1 | part 2

“Y/n”

“Hey, y/n”

“Dude, the bell goes, in five minutes, are you gonna start packing up or what,”

“Y/n!” Peter jabbed you in the arm. “You look dead.”

You ducked your head, uncomfortable with his staring.

“When was the last time you slept? Like, properly slept?”

In lieu of an answer, you turned your attention to shoving your pencil case and notebook into your backpack. The same stationery that had sat unused on your desk as you drifted half into unconsciousness, head buried in your arms, throughout the period. Sleep and functioning and, well, humaning, weren’t really happening today.

“Okay, we can talk about that later when you come to my place so me and May can make sure you actually sleep and eat. We gotta go to decathlon practice now, before MJ roasts us for being late agaaaaaain,” Peter drew out the last syllable as he shoved his chair back under the desk. You stood in imitation, wishing that you could just leave already. Sitting up the back of a class when the teacher couldn’t care less about how engaged you were was one thing, but decathlon meant people were actually expecting you to, you know, do things. Think actual thoughts.

***

It wasn’t a fully Bad Brain Day, not really. The input of school wasn’t painful, per say; more like it was turning into brain static, like your processing filters were on strike. Even thinking was hard, an effort. Talking was an absolute no-go. Even though that wasn’t unusual, it was never easy trying to communicate that communicating was hard to people that didn’t get it. Peter and MJ and Ned got it. Tony got it, after the whole situation of the last Bad Brain Day you’d had at school. The decathlon team, apparently, did not.

“Look who decided to turn up late after promising not to. Next time you’re going alternate, loser.” “Wow, thanks MJ. Nice to see you too.” As Peter and MJ talked, you chucked your bag onto the ground and slouched into a seat. Ned turned to you.

“Hey, y/n!”

You held your hand up in greeting, a half wave. As Ned turned to move on, Abe interjected before he could join in MJ’s roasting of Peter. “Hey, y/n, shouldn’t you say hi to Ned? He was being nice to you,” “They said hi, they waved,” Ned responded.  

“What, you haven’t trained your pet idiot to speak yet? That’s pathetic, what a re-” Flash was cut off by a pen colliding with the side of his head. He turned to find MJ standing, fuming, hands planted in fists on the desk as if in lieu of planting them in Flash’s face.

“You don’t say that word, ever, especially not about them. Some things are harder for y/n, like talking, but that doesn’t… Not that it’d matter if they didn’t, but they know what’s going on. They’re their own independent person. We don’t… They…” “We don’t own them,” Ned finished. Peter had since sat down and taken your hand, rubbing his thumb in circles. You tasted salt, and only then realised you were crying.

“Do you wanna leave?” Peter whispered. The nod of your head was almost imperceptible, but you felt frozen. The whole team had disintegrated into a rambling mess of arguments, half wanting to punch Flash and half agreeing with him in a weird way that tried to avoid coming off as blatantly mean. You heard all of it, and it hurt. They were talking about you, not to you, and as much as you hated it you realised that they didn’t really see you. They saw what you couldn’t do, what you didn’t do, but not who you were.

“Okay, lets go,” Peter slung both your backpacks over his shoulder and gently tugged your arm upwards. You allowed him to lead you out, not paying attention to where but following anyway.

“I texted May, she’s leaving work now to pick us up. I’m guessing the subway wouldn’t be a great idea right now.” You shook your head, meaning no. Meaning May shouldn’t have left her shift, meaning you could get the subway, meaning neither of them should drop everything for you. Peter interpreted it as confirmation that you didn’t want to take the subway back to his apartment. That was one of the worst things about days like this; even your best friends didn’t get it right all the time, and it really wasn’t realistic to even try to correct them. You folded over, head on your knees, gravel of the school stairs digging through your jeans, right hand still encased in Peter’s left. It was humiliating.  

***

You’d met May several times before, but definitely not to the point where you were expecting her to come running up to you and Peter and envelope you in a hug. She pulled back and held you at arm’s length. “Hey sweetie, Peter told me what happened. Are you okay?”

You tilted your head, a non-committal nod. You weren’t okay, not really. Not when that word that Flash almost said was bouncing around your brain relentlessly. She accepted it regardless. “Alright, let’s go home. The two of you deserve a break, I know Peter’s been studying constantly for finals!”

Peter ducked as she reached out to ruffle his hair. Pulling open the door for you, he climbed into the back seat next to you. “You kids okay with pizza?” May asked.

“Sure, May. You’re still okay with y/n staying over tonight, right?”

“Of course, how could I forget?” She pulled the car out of the school’s parking lot, merging into traffic. Peter pulled out his phone.

“MJ texted me to say she’s sorry Flash was a dick, and to make sure we get you ice cream to make up for it.” He pulled his hand out of your grip to type a message back, and you giggled, reaching up to wipe the last of the tears from your eyes with your sweater sleeves.

You missed the sad smile Peter gave May in the rear-view mirror. The kind that said ‘I got this, I’ll fix it later’. You missed the hesitation in Peter’s eyes when he looked away, wondering if he really could.

***

From then, you managed to push the Bad Thoughts to the back of your mind, smothering them in the Parkers’ easy banter and cheese-drenched pizza. Hours had passed and seeing as neither you nor Peter were wanting to follow a complex plot, it was a night of easy sitcoms followed by a David Attenborough documentary (part of May’s thinly veiled attempt to get the two of you to sleep- it was no secret that insomnia plagued you both more often than either of you’d admit). It was nearing midnight when you moved from the worn couch to Peter’s bunk, you on top, staring at the ceiling, headphones on. Even music couldn’t drown out your obsessive rumination.

“Hey, y/n!” Peter’s voice came out as more of a stage whisper than anything else, loud enough that May could probably still hear through the thin walls if she was awake.

“Mmmn”

“I know you’re awake”

“Obviously, dummy, I responded to you.” You almost surprised yourself; it was the first fully coherent sentence you’d managed all day. Amazing what being in a supportive and calm environment could achieve. “I don’t know, sometimes I talk to you and you actually do make weird noises in your sleep,” Peter paused, shifting the tangent of the conversation. “Anyways, about what happened…”

“It’s fine.” “No, it’s not, and you’re not fine.”

“I just don’t like that word. I’m being a baby over nothing.” “You’re allowed to not like that word. Flash shouldn’t have even thought about using it. You know he’s… Wrong, right?” “No he’s not. Are you forgetting why I am the way I am? It’s practically the definition of… That word.” You blinked, trying to force the hot tears back into your eyes. It wasn’t worth crying over twice in one day, not in front of your friend.

“That’s wrong and you know it. That word does not describe your diagnosis, and your diagnosis doesn’t describe you- I mean- Wait, what, I’m confusing myself, that didn’t make sense, uh…” Peter trailed off, leaving a second of silence.

“I get what you’re trying to say, but it’s still… I guess he’s not exactly far off the mark.” You rubbed your hands together anxiously. “They were agreeing with him, Peter.”

The way your voice cracked at his name was enough to send you into sobs. The awful, silent, curled-in-on-yourself, fist-in-mouth to stop yourself from screaming kind. You barely registered Peter half-helping, half-carrying you down the bunk ladder, sinking onto his bunk, hugging you.

“They don’t matter. They’re not half as smart, and intelligent and brave as you are. You get out of bed every day and...You know what? You kick ass,” he poked your shoulder with each syllable, and you sniggered into his now tear-soaked pyjama shirt.

“No! I’m serious! This world isn’t… The city isn’t made for your brain but you still manage to get to school every day. The school system isn’t built for your wild cool brain, but you still do-” “The school system isn’t made for anyone’s brain. Unless they’re a robot.” “Okay, fair, but you get my point. You know MJ and Ned would kick your ass if they heard you say that about yourself, and they’d kill me for letting you think that. You’re worth so much more than what that word means.”

At some point, the two of you had ended up laying on the bottom bunk, Peter’s chin on your head and your hands gripping the fabric of his shirt (in your defence, it was soft and a much better stim than your default hand-bone-rubbing distressed stim). It was entirely platonic, but that didn’t make it any less needed; if there was one thing Peter was trying to convey, it was that he had your back, and if there was one thing you were trying to respond with it was that you trusted him wholeheartedly.

The last thing you said before sleep took you prisoner was a whispered, “Thanks, Peter.”

And if May Parker was standing behind the door frame and overheard, before sneaking a picture of the two of you curled together like sleepy octopi? Then that was certainly, definitely blackmail material, and not confirmation that in her heart, that she loved her strange adopted children more than anything.

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 11

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4 ; Chapter 5 ; Chapter 6 ; Chapter 7 ; Chapter 8 ; Chapter 9 ; Chapter 10

Masterlist : here

AN : It is wednesday, my dudes! This part and the next ones are like 90% fluff, 10% angst... like bittersweet. You’re still heartbroken but try to keep your friendship with Jake, while doing all of your homework... A lot to handle. Actually I had to cut the chapter in half because it was too long (9-10 pages). I really hope you’ll like this chapter because I liked writing it! Feel free to tell me what you thought of it, send me dms or questions, and thanks for reading me x

Chapitre 11 : Would you cook for me ?

Ignoring Jake's texts or avoiding him was useless. But hanging out with him was a challenge I wasn't ready to handle, never asked for, and yet was pushed into. Pretending I didn't see him when we crossed paths in the hallways, or that I didn't receive any of his texts was petty, there was no point in doing so. I couldn't avoid him without giving him any reason, and I couldn't tell him why I needed some time far away from him either because it meant revealing the truth and 1) I wasn't ready, 2) he'd be the one avoiding me like the black plague if I did. It brought me to the conclusion that I would simply pretend nothing happened at all. Jake hadn't noticed the whole situation anyway, so to him it'd already be like everything was normal, just like it always had been between us. It was the best I could think of. For him, for Josh, for anyone. For me ? Not so much. Of course I was still heartbroken, of course it'd take me some time to get over him, and staying by his side would be like rubbing salt on a wound while demanding for it to heal. But I wouldn't risk to break our group's dynamic for selfish reasons. So I sucked that in, everything. The sadness, and painful pang of my chest every time I saw his face, while repeating myself it was for the best.

That aside, I had some other things coming. For the worst. My useless self got so into self-pity and deprecation that I had totally forgotten about homework... And my drawing teacher would be less than pleased as we were all supposed to hand her five new portraits on Monday. Realization hit me during breakfast with Josh who had slept here, when I saw Mandy pack her things and idly noticing out loud that I wasn't carrying a lot of stuff for once. This. This was the cue. But it was too late now, I thought as I walked down the halls by their side. On our way to the amphitheater we saw Jake, waiting in front of the door for the teacher to come. Other students were here too, chatting and yawning with their backs against the walls or sitting on the floor. Josh looked at me like he wasn't sure if he should greet him but the brunette was the one spotting us, gesturing us to come join him. My eyes were probably still a bit puffy but with the makeup it could pass for lack of sleep. Of course he knew Josh stayed at our place last time, I had made sure the boy texted him, and the jerk had taken this opportunity to ask his brother to bring him all his school supplies, backpack included. Unbelievable.

- Your stuff, said Jake handing Josh his bag.

- Who's the big brother again ?, I jokingly asked with a raised eyebrow.

- He's 5 minutes older, replied Jake.

- You'll never live it down !

We all chatted quietly, and I never felt more conflicted in my entire life. My heart didn't know if it should beat faster or hurt like hell, so it seemed to do both, making me feel weird just by being next to Jake. My body was in total contradiction with itself. I couldn't hold back the smile that crept across my face, but at the same time wouldn't meet Jake in the eye, disguising it by cracking joke after joke while my stress level kept rising the more time passed. My thoughts were running wild. In a few hours the drawing teacher was going to yell at me in front of the whole workshop and I couldn't handle it. I'd surely burst into tears and feel even more ashamed. I'd probably-

- Hey, you alright ?

A soft touch caressed my back and I involuntarily jerked forward, out of its grasp, before realizing and suddenly feeling bashful at my reaction. I could tell Jake was surprised by it but it lasted only a second before his face showed concern.

- Yeah, I just didn't finish my work on time... That witch is gonna murder me and ask the others students to draw a perspective of my corpse I'm sure.

I heard his chuckles before the tutor cut him off, passing by us with the keys in hand to unlock the door, separating the sea of students in half like an artsy Moses. Jake was at the other side when the crowd engulfed through the small door, letting us no choice but to keep our bodies to the walls.

- Do you wanna sit together today ?, asked Jake above the loud stomping noises.

Because of the students between us I couldn't really see his face, but was glad because it meant he couldn't see mine whitening. Josh and Mandy on the other hand were just next to me and clearly witnessed my expression change. To think that a week before I would've been on cloud nine being able to sit next to him for two whole hours... Oh how things could change fast.

We were now the three last people left outside and Jake held the door for us, continuing speaking.

- You guys are always exchanging notes, we should just, ya know ? Sit next to each other and... quietly chat.

As backup to his words, he murmured the last part in a very exaggerated fashion, in a failed attempt to make me smile. I couldn't just say no to him without looking weird because I had no reason to. Even if I knew he wouldn't push the matter, there was no way he wouldn't question it, right ? Josh came to the rescue, playfully elbowing him.

- But then where's the fun in that ? Right girls ?

Both agreeing, we rushed to our usual seats, letting a dumbfounded Jake close the door behind him. In their habitual fashion, Mandy and Josh threw paper balls at each other, while I was for once too focused on the lecture to participate in their shenanigans. I needed to get my mind to focus on something and right now Gilgamesh sounded like a good deal, so I took as many notes as possible. A task proven even more difficult because in the corner of my eye, I could see Jake staring at me.

Saying my drawing teacher killed me was a little bit of an understatement. She scared the shit out of me with her scolding. To be fair, even in a normal mood she was a scary woman. The already quiet   class went completely still and silent when she barked at me, admonishing me with charming names such as « useless », « disappointing » and the timeless « lamentable ». A classic. Truth to be told it hurt much less than I previously anticipated, mainly because I was already half dead inside, with the emotional range of a cactus, and my self-esteem nearly reaching zero. Nothing much to attack, really. Nevertheless, she demanded that I hand her all five portraits plus the five others we had to do this week by the next monday. Meaning I had ten to do in a week. It physically hurt just thinking about it, and I could hear a quiet « oof » escaping some of my classmates' mouths. It's with a huge relieved sigh that I found my bed this afternoon once school was over. This day had been a catastrophe so far, so there was no other thing I wanted to do more than put on my Pjs, put some music on, and slowly work at my desk, thinking Tuesay will be a better day.

Tuesday was not a better day. Wednesday either. All my homework slowly started piling up on my desk to the point where it was starting to be difficult to keep track of it. And sleeping four hours a night wasn't doing my mental health any good. I knew I had two possibilities now ; sleep less but do my work, or skip some classes to work. It was beginning to get ridiculous, skipping classes so I could do my homework. I knew art schools were difficult, awfully so, but like most people I hadn't realized until then, in this very moment, standing in front of my desk completely covered in paint, canvas, my computer, sketches, inks... some brushes had fallen on the floor, staining it in their passage. My laptop was so dirty it wasn't in its original color anymore. There were blotches of paint, ink, and charcoal here and there that I couldn't remove the harder I had tried to, forcing me to give up. At some point I got so tired I put my paintbrush into my cup of tea/coffee, mistaking it with the goblet of water.

- ...Are you alright ?, enquired Mandy on Thursday night.

One look at my face and she had her answer. Bless her soul, she didn't need any more to bring me an energy drink from the fridge.

- I still have five portraits to do. Four pencil ones, and one painting. They all have to be from different angles, and I can't find any models, I complained while throwing my hand in the air in an act of pure desperation.

Mandy knew better than to sit at the edge of my risky desk with her designer clothes, so she leaned on the doorframe, slowly nodding her head in a pensive manner while I kept explaining the situation.

- All week I couldn't find anyone because they all had homework to do, and now most of them are skipping tomorrow's lecture to go home early so nobody's available !

My rommate crossed her arms, thinking hard. I already did almost all my paintings, asking for both her and Josh's help. Both of them were glad to help and even more so to figure on a monochrome painting on a canvas.

- Can you draw the same person multiple times ?, she finally asked.

- Actually... I don't know. I don't think that would be a problem as long as the work is done ?

Hopping on her feet, Mandy lifted an eyebrow before dragging a chair to sit on.

- Let's get into it then, we only have one lecture tomorrow, you can skip it I'll take notes for you.

Having a good night of sleep never felt this good. No. Waking up at 8, slowly realizing everybody was sitting on a lecture except me, and then getting back to sleep was way better. I sketched poor Mandy two times last night but the results were good, and she looked pleased herself. I didn't have time to redo any of these anyway, I still had other work to do. Waking me from my well deserved nap, my phone vibrated under the pillow, the screen blinding me despite the sun peaking through the curtains.

« The boys asked where you were. Told them about the portraits situation. Jake wants to help. Couldn't stop him. »

If the beginning of the text made me smile, the end completely shook me awake, making me sit hurriedly on the bed, rereading the words multiple times. Scratching my face, I quickly glanced at the hour. They were out in a few minutes. My fingers tapped the next message as soon as they could, asking her how and when, while I ran to the showers with my towel, soap and toothbrush in hand. At this hour, and a Friday, they were all available. The other residents were all either drunk as hell and passed out in their room, or in their hometown with their family and friends. The buzzing of my phone vibrating reverberated against the shower walls and it almost got drowned in the sink when I caught it to look at the screen. It was Mandy.

« They kinda invited themselves over to eat. Josh's idea.»

What the hell Joshua we're not your moms ! Throwing my phone to the nearest flat surface, I jumped on some discarded overalls and put on a sweater, wet hair dripping everywhere on the floor, table, but mostly on my clothes, making me sneeze in the process. The whole week I was so overwhelmingly busy with work that not only did my fingers hurt but I didn't have any time to see the Kiszkas let alone think about them since our shared lecture on Monday. I even skipped the Lunch Club in order to get back to the dorms and work on my assignments. Which thankfully saved me a lot of time, but I still had 2 pencil drawings to do and one painting. Once I had put on some makeup, I took a moment to look around me. Our place looked like a dump, no less. Clothes and art furniture were everywhere, the trash was overflowing with empty cup noodles and fast food leftovers, it smelled like perfume and soap mixing with rotten food, paint and cold tobacco. It was terrible, and made me shocked that I even got used to that. A life achievement of some sort. Everything on the floor I put it on a trash bag, running in the stairs to throw everything outside with the others'. My phone vibrated in my pocket, a new notification popping on the screen.

« They bought some stuff at the store, they wanna cook us something. Jake's idea. »

Okay, time to clean the kitchen.

By the time they got here, I looked even more tired than before, owing my guests looks of concern. If was funny, how they put on the exact same face while seeing me. It was like I just mirrored a picture. Their similar features would never cease to amaze me.

- Mama you're very pale.

- Did you not sleep well ?

- I did, don't worry, I dismissed their concern. Had to clean up a bit.

Mandy bit his lip, knowing damn well the place had been a war field when she left. Unaware of anything, the boys put the bags of groceries on the table before apologizing for intruding. We all sat around the table to have a pleasant talk, my friends always making sure I wasn't next to Jake to avoid any brutal peak of awkwardness / sadness. But some habits died hard, I realized when Jake asked if he could have a tour of our dorm. Ignoring glances, I stood up and gestured for him to go first, into the biggest room, were Mandy and I's workshop and beds were. The boy let out a low whistle that flattered me. He looked impressed by everything around him, touching odd looking brushes and browsing illustration books. I knew better this time, and had put his painted portrait under my bed, wrapped in an old sheet. Just as his brother did, he liked to take in his hands everything that came by, caressing it with his fingertips or idly lifting the weight of it in his palms like he was discovering an unknown world. Unmoving, I let Jake do his little tour, watching the street view by the window, sitting on my disheleved bed, jumping slightly to make the mattress bounce like he was testing it before buying.

- So this is where you're gonna paint me, he said, pointing at a chair between my desk and me.

My pale face grew some colors at the thought of it before I nodded quickly, in a childlike way, caressing the wooden chair's back.

- I'll try to be fast so you won't get bored, I assured without looking him in the eye.

It was this moment Josh chose to appear at the corner of the doorframe.

- Jakey we should start cooking or the potatoes will never be ready on time. Come on, doll.

He took me by one of my overalls' straps, pulling me inside the kitchen, making me laugh and pushing my shoulders so I stayed on my seat. Mandy and I gazed at them with awe as they poured us drinks while Jake asked where the spatula was, and Josh was washing the vegetables, already familiar with his surroundings.

In silence, I looked at Jake removing every one of his rings to put it on top of the fridge where no one could kick them, before tying his hair in a tight ponytail. Maybe it was because I only ever saw him with long brown locks framing his face, but he looked even better than usual. If he caught me staring, he didn't adress it, only smiled at me, turning his back to us to help his brother.

- Do you need any help ?, I asked while showing them where the frypans were. You guys are our guests it doesn't seem fair...

Of course the kitchen wasn't a real one, there was only a microwave and some hotplates fixed to a cabinet by the sink. Putting more than one person behind the counter was impossible without bumping into each other, and I could smell the accident from afar when Josh maneuvered the hot water filled pan at the same time Jake opened up a cupboard right above his curly head. Curiously so, probably because they had way more cooking experience than I thought, the boys handled the situation neatly, and Jake was the one preventing me from bumping into his brother.

- Go sit and relax, we've got this, he said while turning me around by the shoulders.

Watching boys make lunch had got to be some sort of ASMR because just watching the muscles of their back move while they were chopping onions and peeling potatoes had some real therapeutic effects on me. We continued chatting together, all the while answering their questions on « Where are the knives ? » and « Where do you keep the salt ? ». Kind of surprised that Josh had the permission of holding a kitchen knife, by the way, this part made me feel the absolute opposite of ASMR but he did a pretty good job, from what I could see. Mandy put on some music on the speakers, argued with Jake over the sound of it as to what was acceptable or not music-wise, and Josh made a show of crying because of the onions, yelling about becoming blind until Jake gently slapped the back of his head. It was all laughs and good conversation, like we've been friends for years, and at the same time I couldn't shake these feelings I had towards Jake. There was something extremely erotic about seeing a dude wearing a dishcloth on his shoulder. Or was it just Jake wearing it really well ?

They refused to tell us what we were eating, muttering to themselves and sometimes asking if we were allergic to this or that, only announcing it while putting the plate on the table, with Josh making grand gestures as usual, using his best waiter voice.

- Crêpes au zucchini accompanied by a fresh salad decorated with feta and its apple slices, ladies.

- Bon appétit, added Jake.

The table was already set because it was the only thing we were allowed to do, so at least the boys could now rest. It looked really good. Way less fancy than what Josh had announced of course but it smelled wonderful, the sweet scent settling in all of our dorm. And the taste, oh Lord. Everything melted in my mouth, the onions they fried were just crispy enough to add something to it, and I learned this day that cheese and apple were really good and refreshing together. A new snack idea I'd keep for my sleepless work nights at the desk. And as dessert, the boys brought beers. Of course.