#sleep deprivation absolutely doesn't help. i'm in a fun little hell

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re: last post— send me albums so i can assign them a concept. please. i am so bored and hopped up on caffeine rn

[offwithhxrhead]

Incorrect Quotes ft. the Liddell-Van Dorts

. thought i'd give this generator a go and i absolutely am so glad i did .

Alice: Hello, I'm Alice. I work at a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Maddie* Maddie: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Maddie, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Victor: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?

Alice: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Cop: You ran a red light. Alice: So did you, hypocrite. Cop: I was following you. Alice: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver. Cop: Get out.

Victor: I've got a weapon, and I'm... admittedly VERY afraid to use it!

Alice: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up! Alice: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

Victor: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Maddie: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Maddie is such a nice person, Maddie is so happy-go-lucky! Maddie can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Maddie CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Maddie IS be in a bad mood.

Alice: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other. *later, in a barfight* Alice: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

Victor: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Victor: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Maddie: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

Alice: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Maddie. Victor: You just said it again. Maddie: Alice: I am not a role model.

Alice: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Maddie finally snaps and commits murder? Victor: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to her.

Maddie: Victor, Alice, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Victor, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Alice is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Alice: I love you too :)

Alice: Guys where did Maddie go? Victor: She got arrested. Alice: How the hell- Maddie: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Alice: Maddie, what do you have? Maddie: A KNIFE! Alice: Okay, have fu- Victor: NO!

Maddie: Would you take a bullet for me? Victor: ...yes? *Alice angrily bursts into the room* Maddie: *running away* Great, thanks!

Maddie, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Maddie: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Victor: It was you the fuck. Maddie: It was I the fuck… Alice: Who cooks rice in a pan? Victor: She the fuck.

Victor: Why would anyone want to harm Maddie? Alice: Maybe because they met her?

Maddie: Mom, that’s disgusting. You’re only giving free stuff to beautiful people. Victor: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself. Alice: Oh yeah? *gets really close to Victor* How about a muffin on the house baby? Victor, giggling: I’m pretty.

Victor: You know, it’s fine to admit you were wrong. Maddie: *Sipping their drink after accidentally adding salt* I just like the way it tastes.

Victor: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Maddie: I was in the will?

Victor: Am I right, Maddie? Maddie: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Alice: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. Maddie: Being a fish. Alice: Well, shit.

Alice: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Maddie: What? No good morning? Alice: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

Victor: *chokes on something* Maddie: Jeez, Victor, don't die on us. Victor: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

Maddie: You know what I’ve realized? Alice: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? Maddie: Nice try, anyways-

Maddie: Help! I’m drowning! Victor: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Maddie: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Victor: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Alice: The dishes. Victor: Wh- Alice: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Alice: *sees someone doing something stupid* Alice: What an idiot. Alice: *realizes it's Maddie* Alice: Wait, that's MY idiot!

@thevalicemultiverse