#slasher Simon!

[gooseormaybeduck]

The brain worms were suddenly very active. Dead dove do not eat. Fucked up gore and slasher! Simon Riley/141. MDNI (obviously)

Cw: gore, blood, manipulation, slasher horror, fingering, masturbation, mutual masturbation? Voyeurism (kinda), Obsession.. dead dove. Again, do not eat.

Quiet reader who just likes to go to her little coffee shop to type away short blurbs on her laptop. Always wearing a soft sweater and some jeans, something comfy, normal. No one would think a cute lil’ thing like her would be so chock full of so many horrible ideas and fantasies. Curiosity and obsession is built into the spongey marrow of her bones. It crawls through her fingertips and drips from her teeth, nothing but viscera behind her eyelids when she flutters her long an’ pretty eyelashes. But she’s so soft ‘n sweet- could never hurt a soul for real (even if it’s all she dreams of, some nights).

So she writes about it.

She drinks her tea (or coffee, if she needs it) and clicks away at her keyboard. Pretty, gelled nails making soft clacks as people come and go all day. If she’s not paying attention to them- they won’t pay attention to her, right? Smiles all pretty when the friends she’s made at the shop clocks out. Flushes and shakes her head whenever a guy tries to ask for her number. The apples of her rounded cheeks blushing red just from the attention. (She makes sure to keep her laptop pointed away from them, of course). She crosses her legs and takes up as little space as possible, all while writing horrible, horrible ways people get cut open. Chased and hunted for sport- organs realigned into a different art piece all together. Fantasies- really. Ways she wishes she could sink her teeth into the same people who’s eyes linger a little too long.

Sometimes, she gets a little too worked up ):

Poor girl, having to close her laptop and drive home while heat creeps up her thighs and makes it impossible to focus. Only to shove those pretty gelled nails as far as they can go up her needy pussy as soon as she gets through her door, thinking about soft trails of red from her clavicles that run down and drip, following the curves and lines of her stomach. Mewling and whining, panting as she rides her own hand like a needy mutt until she cums on her fingers, never satisfied ):

Thus, slasher!Simon comes in. Sees the writing she posts online, nearly salivates as he reads it. Palming his cock through his jeans by the time he reads 2 paragraphs of the way she wants to give people the gift of their own gore. She just wants them to know how they taste, carefully feeding them their own intestine while their tongue goes limp in their mouth, coppery iron left to drip out of the corner of their lips. Even in her fantasies, they never last long enough to enjoy it the way she wants them to ):

So, like the good ol’ boy he is, he finds her. Finds her little coffee shop and just… watches her for a bit. His dick throbbing against the confines of his jeans as he orders a tea and sits in his own booth, pretending to busy himself with his phone. Has to swallow down the urges to grab her and take her home, filthy images of fucking her so hard she cries and bleeds on his cock clouding his mind. She’d take it, of course. Like the good girl she pretends to be for everyone else. Slasher!Simon can see through it. It only turns him on more.

It’s only a matter of time before he’s studying her writing. Dark eyes tracing over it until he’s about to cum in his pants, only to take a break and start again. Memorizing it as if it were scripture… and then recreating it. Leaving pretty scenes from the reader’s lil’ head in real life, a mess of skin and bones and blood that make our poor reader fucking drip. He learns everything he can about her- who she hates, how she takes her coffee, her childhood best friend, the name of her first cat- anything and everything about his new pet (and wife, he quickly decides). Her fantasies deserve to come true, after all, Slasher!Simon thinks. She’s been such a good girl, hmm?

She doesn’t know what to think, not expecting to have caught this kind of attention. She’s scared, fingers trembling ever so slightly as she continues to write away in her laptop at the coffee shop. But.. she never bothers to change her locks, leaving her curtains open just a crack when she rubs her clit sore to the news articles. Toes curling into her sheets and back arching for him to watch. It’s a show meant for him and only him, he knows. Lets himself rub his dick chaffed with his thick, calloused fingers. Spitting on his cock to aide him as he watches her fingers disappear inside of herself. Her laptop open next to her as she moans and writhes about what he did, creaming all over her fingers and giving her pussy a few wet slaps that make her body shake and jump.

Slasher! Simon might just have to show her one day.

[bluegiragi]

only one slasher's allowed in these woods…

early access + nsfw on patreon

[psychotic-star-girl]

[frudoo]

I need the 141 as a group of slashers. Their shared wife gets harassed at the store and tells them when she gets home?

Might send more asks for slasher 141 if that's okay

You can ALWAYS send me slasher!141 ideas are you joking?!

Warnings: Mentions of sexual harassment (NOT by the 141), typical mentions of weapons and violence. Fem!Reader.

It’s pouring down freezing rain, the cold seemingly nudging past your skin and settling itself into your bones. Your hands shake as you fumble with your keys, letting out a defeated wail when you miss the lock for the fifth fucking time. Throwing your keys in your purse, you settle for knocking, then calling out that it’s just you. You’d rather not have one of your lovers answering the door with a machete to your throat. They always have had a flair for the dramatic. 

     It’s John who answers the door. Immediately he takes in your shivering figure and his bushy eyebrows furrow with concern. Scanning the vast land of the farm and finding nothing that could be perceived as a threat, he gently takes the purse from your hands. Strong arms hustle you inside and he kicks the door shut, working quickly to get you out of your sopping wet clothes. 

     “Darlin’, what happened? Why’re you cryin’?” John asks softly, hanging your coat on the rack—he can tell it’s bad by the way you flinch just from the question. 

     Simon, Johnny, and Kyle trail into the living room to greet you, but when they see your state, it’s like you can feel the tension in the air, ready to snap like a weathered rubber band. Simon comes to scoop you up, uncaring of the drenched clothes you still have on, and carries you up the stairs. He jerks his head to signal that everyone else should follow him. 

     While Kyle runs you a bath, John finishes undressing you, tossing your clothing into the hamper with a wet plop. You’re still shivering, tears streaming down your chilly cheeks, and it breaks their hearts. John cups your face in his big, warm hands, crystal blue eyes scanning for injuries or any reason you might be so spooked. 

     “You gonna answer my question, sweetheart? What’s happened?” 

     His voice is soothing, and you lean into the comfort of his touch. He always has been the best at calming you down, rich gravel filling your ears until you remember how cherished you are in his eyes. In all of their eyes. 

     “T-there was a man,” you stutter, head whipping around violently with your fist raised when Johnny wraps an arm around your waist to help you into the bath. “No!”

     “Hey, hey, jus’ me, hen,” Johnny’s eyes widen as he throws his hands up in surrender, backing away to avoid getting hit. 

     “I’m sorry,” you weep, covering your face with your trembling hands as Johnny tries again, this time successful in getting you settled into the warm water. 

     “Wha’ did he do?” Simon’s raspy voice sounds from the corner of the room, eerily calm. “Wha’ did tha’ fucker do?” 

     “The man… I-I was at the store to get groceries, but there was- he… he grabbed my ass and my tits and f-followed me out to the car. I drove away really fast so he couldn’t come after me, but… I’m sorry, I didn’t get the groceries.”

     “Oh, sweetheart,” Kyle frowns, gently reaching out to grab a hold of one of your hands. “The fuckin’ groceries are the least of our concerns.”

     You nod noncommittally, sniffling and just barely squeezing Kyle’s hand to let him know you appreciate the gesture. John’s jaw is clenched tight, and you can practically hear the rage brewing in his brain. Such a sweet thing traumatized by some stupid fuck who wanted his hands full of their soft, perfect girl. He wants—needs—to make him pay. John turns on his heel and just about rushes through the door, but your gentle voice stops him in his tracks.

     “John? Please stay,” you beg so, so prettily, pouty lips still swollen from how hard you’d been crying, and John’s far too weak a man to deny you. 

     Hesitantly, the captain trails back inside the bathroom, giving the other three a curt nod. They understand instantly, and Simon is cracking his knuckles so loud you’re almost sure the city can hear it. 

     “Bring the bastard back alive,” John commands, and faster than you can blink, Kyle, Simon, and Johnny are out the door.

     “I’m sorry,” you whisper, eyes focused on the ripple of the bathwater when you submerge your hands.

     John shakes his head, tilting your chin up so that you look him in the eye. He leans forward and nuzzles the tip of his nose against yours, a silent question. When you nod he leans in to kiss you long and slow, pressing his forehead against yours as the two of you stop to catch a breath.

     “No need to be sorry, sweet girl. You’ll get a turn on him soon enough.”

[2kiran]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓’𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝑺𝑪𝑨𝑹𝒀 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄?

this series contains top male reader. (#24aztober)

𝐄𝐑𝐀 𝐎𝐍𝐄

track I. shotgunning ͙۪۪̥ logan howlett.

track II. double penetration ͙۪۪̥ könig.

track III. mask + daddy kink ͙۪۪̥ keegan russ.

track IV. deepthroating ͙۪۪̥ miguel o’hara.

track V. size kink ͙۪۪̥ spider-man noir.

track VI. filming + humiliation kink ͙۪۪̥ ghostface.

𝐄𝐑𝐀 𝐓𝐖𝐎

track VIII. breathplay ͙۪۪̥ wade wilson.

track IX. blood kink ͙۪۪̥ vampire slasher.

track X. somnophilia ͙۪۪̥ din djarin.

track XI. fear play ͙۪۪̥ slasher könig.

track XII. pain + glove kink ͙۪۪̥ logan howlett.

track XIII. public sex ͙۪۪̥ bruce wayne.

track XIV. gun play ͙۪۪̥ sebastian krueger.

𝐄𝐑𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

track XV. face-fucking ͙۪۪̥ ghostface.

track XX. sex pollen ͙۪۪̥ keegan russ.

𝐄𝐑𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

track XXXI. monsterfucking ͙۪۪̥ zombie ghost.

all rights reserved © 2023 2kiran. these works belong to 2kiran. do not steal/copy, repost/promote on any platform, modify, or translate. I do not own the GIFS, character images, or frames.

[tacticalprincess]

ghostface duo!ghönig and bimbo!reader… of course, you seen the news about the two masked killers in your town, but the it could be you aspect of it all never registered for you. especially under the haze and delirium of alcohol, you think it’s just harmless roleplay; the way they corner you when you’re all alone in the garage of the halloween party after wandering off to get more beer. a little insensitive, but harmless.

something about their large, burly frames towering over you menacingly makes heat pool in your stomach, and you brush off the feeling of danger tinging your spine. let them talk to you through some kind of voice altering speaker, teasing you about your skimpy costume, how it’s unsafe to be alone at a time like this. you giggle as you make them chase you up a few flights of stairs, heart thumping rapidly against your sternum as you dizzily dash through the house. to everyone passing by, it looks like fun when they scoop you up and carry you by your arms and legs into an empty bedroom, but your heart drops when something too sharp and hard to be a prop presses against your back, tucked away in one of their pockets.

[astropeachy]

hiiiii

[sickmorbiddoll]

Me when I’m reading a good fanfic and the author writes “my knuckles turned white as I clenched the sheets"

After I read that I can not bring myself to read it anymore 😭

[noelan1]

I can't stop reading fanfictions

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Slasher!141

AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Price: The captain is a well respected man yet when people go against his orders or blatantly disrespect him, there is this blinding rage that threatens to overtake him. His victims consist of rebellious idiots who think they're above the law. For example theives, drug dealers, tax evaders, people who don't pay their workers right, rapists ect. It irks him that they think the law wouldn't come for them. But in actuality it's because he hates the thought of someone thinking they're above him in any regard. Hell this man threatened a general and a colonel while being a captain. He. does. not. give. a. shit. This man just wants control and that's it. He thinks he's helping the masses and he might be but he's doing it for his own selfish reasons. And it was such a shame you had decided to break into his country home. Out of all of the houses you could have chosen you choose his. He's convinced fate had led you to him. (That's the story he's telling the boys) And who is he to deny fate (only when it suits him). He'll just have to teach you a lesson or two in discipline though. You can't be biting him like that. In his mind there was no point killing such a pretty face. He could reform you into the perfect partner. Don't worry pet, you're lucky he found you when he did. He'll fix you and then you'll live happily ever after with him. (Turns out you were a spy but you kept that to yourself) (He already knew though)

Gaz: Not many people know this but Gaz wasn't always this drop dead gorgeous. The poor boy was relentlessly bullied growing up for being a little chubby and maybe not the best looking person. It's not a surprise that he held on to that resentmen even now when people were practically throwing themselves at him. His victims consist of bullies, tormentors and trolls. People who like to bring other people down. Again this is done for selfish reasons as much as Gaz claims he's doing everyone else a favour. It's an outlet to quell his resentment. Gaz found his partner while paying an online shooting game. It was a high stake tournament where you could win some money. To Gaz it wasn't much since he already made good money at his job but maybe to you it was very important. You were relentlessly trying to get under his skin. You kept trolling him in an effort to distract him, not that it worked. The final straw was when you goaded him into trying to find you. "You can't do shit you ugly fuck, come find me if your all that. Oh! but you can't! Because you a fucking moron and a virgin that can't get laid!" Gaz chuckled at the childish insults. Seems like you needed an attitude adjustment. Finding you was easy, convincing you to go on a date was even easier. It seemed you didn't recognize him. All the better for Gaz then. A chase around an abandoned building should set you straight. It would be shame to kill someone so adorable. So he was just going to scare some manners into you.

Ghost: Simon has had a rough life. Growing up in the household he did wasn't easy. No surprise that it led to some psychological side effects. He has so much built up rage and anger sometimes he didn't know what to do with it. It manifests in uglier ways if he doesn't deal with it. His scars being a testament to that. His victims consist of violent alcoholics and violent drug addicts or any violent person in general. Other times it's just loud mouthy douchebags at pubs that harass young woman. He isn't doing this for some nobel reason. He just need to get the rage out before he hurts himself. And the scum of society are usually targets people wouldn't miss. Doing it this way made his life easier. Ghost met his partner in an alleyway as he was finishing up his kill for the night. You had drunkenly stumbled onto the wrong street when you had spoted him. You looked absolutely terrified and ready to run but Simon couldn't let that happen. He wasn't going to jeopardize everything he built because a bird caught him doing something unsavory. You made his job easier by fainting when he came near you. Hauling you in his truck was even easier. He wasn't expecting to find his life partner while out on one of his kills. But it seemed like god was looking out for him. It took a while to make you behave but he got you there in the end. And now you welcome him home with loving arms creating the family he should have had all along.

Soap: Growing up Soap was considered the class clown. And just because he was a little peculiar. Yes he was extroverted and loud but that didn't mean he was stupid. Though that stigma never really left him. Not in school, not even in the military. Despite excelling physically and academically in both institutions he was always treated as if he was stupid. Which infuriated him considering he became a demolition's expert. He knew what he was doing but people stilled viewed him like something less than and it made his blood boil. Soaps victims consist of snobs and pretentious idiots, especially ones that pretend to know what they're doing. He goes after people who specifically try to use big words to make others feel dumb. Or people who ridicule and judge others for not knowing niche topics. A good place to find these kinds of people are in prestigious universities where mommy and daddy's money bought their entitled children a space to study. That's how Soap found his partner. It was at a university where people complained about your snobby attitude. It was a running joke that majority of people in uni knew. Turns out you were just introverted and too shy to talk normally so you'd just go on tangents about your niche topics to dispel the awkwardness. People took that as you trying to make them feel dumb. Don't worry though Dove. You'll never have to deal with people like that again. You can just live in the forest with him and he'll listen to all your little tangents while fucking you senseless. You don't need people in your life that don't appreciate your intelligence especially since you have him now.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Slasher!Soap Masterlist

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2024. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[krypticcafe]

Mfs be like "oh he's my babygirl<3" or "he whimpers fr" or "submissive and breedable". And then the whole character tag is like FULL of that character being dominant and topping the reader. Ummm?? Excuse me, but I thought we were gonna be making them ride us until all that's left are pretty little tears, nonsensical babbling, constant begging, relentless whimpering, knees buckling, thighs trembling, hips twitching, frantic gripping, feverish sobbing, and loud moaning, all from a hot, needy mess desperate for release???

[lllostgirlll]

“stop liking my posts! this isn’t instagram! re-blog them!!!”

me using the like button as a form of bookmarking: 👁️👄👁️

[marshmellowjay]

Y'all can we get a reader who unironically lives in the shadows. And just drags people into them to never be seen again.

Like:

*someone messed with their pookie*

Reader:

*random character* : WHO WAS THAT

Pookie in question: oh that's just my s/o. Yea they do that.

LMFAO. Or or.

Feral reader who does this but comes out of the shadows and bites the person dragging them away by the leg or some shit.

Hell yes.

Repost plz!

[frudoo]

How would slasher! 141 react to a reader who isn’t a fan of violence but goes absolutely HAM when one of the victims escapes and injured her boyfriends? (I know the guys are good at what they do but let’s just pretend lol)

maybe she’s dirty from doing chores outside and the victim assumes that she’s an escapee as well, says something about ‘stabbing that fucker with his own knife’ and she just sees red because this piece of shit hurt her boys and she CANNOT let that stand.

Without even thinking, she starts absolutely wailing on this person, punching, kicking, etc. She's got blood on her clothes and shes breathing heavily when the boys finally make their way outside.

how would they react? 😳

This AU has me tweakin I swear

Warnings: Dark!Fic/DDDNE. Explicit gore. Emetophobia.

You gently pick up the little rabbit and giggle, pressing a kiss to its fur before sending it off somewhere else that isn’t your vegetable garden. The pesky things have been terrorizing your poor crops, and while it’s a nuisance, you just can’t stay mad at the little fellas, let alone ask your boys to get rid of the problem. There’s a rustling in the bush next to you and you suspect it’s another bunny looking for a tasty meal, but before you can go investigate, a loud scream coming from the barn startles you.

     Typically, you’re able to drown out the sounds of your husbands’ victims—it freaks you out to hear a person in so much pain, no matter how badly they deserve it. But this is not a victim’s scream. You know that scream. It’s the same one you hear any time he stubs his toe or gets a cramp in bed. That’s Simon’s scream. Immediately you’re on alert, standing from your knees and starting towards the barn.

     Instead of seeing your husband rush out, seeking medical aid or some kind of comfort, a random man covered in dirt and blood comes stumbling outside, looking terrified. You recognize him as the guy Simon, the big, unbreakable brick wall of a man, had even said wasn’t an easy one to catch. When the man sees you also covered in muck, he laughs like he’s just won the lottery, relieved. He rushes up to you, grabbing your hand and trying to pull you towards the fields, no doubt to look for some kind of escape. 

     “C’mon, we- we gotta get outta here. Now! We have time- fuck, lady, come on! I stabbed that fucker with his own knife, so we have time,” he rambles, digging his filthy nails into your skin to get a better grip.

     His words seem to make your heart stop beating in your chest. So that’s why Simon was screaming in pain. Your Simon, your sweet baby, one of your protectors, hurt by an inferior piece of meat. A special brand of scum. You’re scratching at his face before you even realize it. 

     “Wha- bitch! Stop! I’m trying to save you, lady!” Any other time, you’re sure a man like him could have easily overpowered you, but you feel fucking invincible right now, kicking the backs of his knees until he falls.

     You pounce on his back and trap him on the ground, grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling his head back just to smash it into the dirt. He’s screaming in agony and you’re sure his nose is broken, but you can’t stop. He hurt one of your boys, and if you know anything about the pieces of shit your husbands get rid of, you’re positive nobody is going to miss the one struggling beneath your weight. You bash his head into the ground over and over—his nose is completely crushed and his teeth are busted, but you just keep going and going and going until your arms are finally tired and you’re heaving with effort.

     When you climb off of him, you see just how much blood has tainted the grass, and you feel nauseous. The man is no longer screaming, not even grunting or moaning, and you know you’ve killed him. You roll him over just to make sure, and the sight of his mangled face makes you lean forward to vomit. You end up tripping over one of his untied shoelaces and falling right on top of his body. Sobbing, you scramble away, screaming when your back hits something solid.

     “Hey, hey, it’s just me, darlin’. Just me,” John coos, helping you up and pulling you into a tight hug.

     “I-I di- I didn’t mean to,” you weep, blood and bile still sour on your tongue. “H-he… he stabbed Simon, and- and I-”

     “Okay, sweetheart, it’s fine. I’ve got you now, yeah? Deep breaths, baby, breathe with me,” John instructs, cupping your sticky cheeks in his palms and forcing you to look at him.

     Distantly, you see Johnny rushing towards the barn and Kyle dragging the man’s body out of sight, but John makes you focus on him. Only once you’re calm, sniffling instead of hyperventilating, does he explain what’s going on. 

     “Kyle’s cleanin’, and Johnny’s gettin’ Simon all patched up. He’s gonna be okay, baby. You were so brave for us, sweet girl. Do you hear me? I'm so proud of you. We all are.” 

     You nod, but you need to see Simon, make sure that he’s really okay. Make sure your efforts weren’t in vain, that the blood on your hands wasn’t shed pointlessly.

     “I wanna see him,” you hiccup, and John nods, turning you around so you can watch as Johnny helps him walk out of the barn.

     You let out a sob of relief, rushing towards the pair and wrapping your arms around Simon, who grunts in pain. You gasp and move to pull away, but Simon just holds you tighter, letting you take as much comfort as you need from him.

     “I love you,” you murmur, and he smiles.

     “I love you more, perfect girl.”

[frogchiro]

Pls omg more slasher!Ghost omg

Bro def has a corruption kink.

A guy flirts with his future s/o?? ( they don’t know it yet )

He ends up missing.

His corruption kink is through the roof :((

Fem!reader, yandere themes, slight nsfw, mentions of blood and murder, Ghost is a slasher in this one so if you're not comfortable, don't read!!

He's big and burly from years in the military, standing at 6'4, broad shoulders and strong legs, biceps and chest bulging under the bloodied apron as he cleaves through meat and bone and his mind begins to wander.

His absolute favorite time of day is when you visit him to buy some fresh meat for whatever you're cooking tonight. He's always setting aside the best cuts especially for you because his heart flutters and cock jumps in his pants when you flush and praise him, complimenting him on the quality of the meat and how much of a talented butcher he is, and while all he does is nod a little or grunt at you in response, his mind is flashing him with little you under his burly body, panting and whimpering and flushed, begging him so prettily to make you his wife, to give you his babies-

But his thoughts are forcibly interrupted when he cuts up through the tough, hard thigh bone. Heh, for a guy that measly and gangly he sure put up a fight and he's a tough one to cut up, but it had to be done. He noticed it a while ago that this guy was making....unwanted advances on you, always talking to you and leaning far too close for comfort even when you politely albeit quietly asked him to please stand futher away, sir.

The last straw was when Ghost just happened to be strolling through your general neighbourhood in the dead of night and caught this creep red handed as he was trying to peep through one of your windows. Cold fury froze his veins, how dare this dirty swine do something as despicable as this? Stalking you? Terrorizing you? His girl? Not on his watch, Simon knew the guy had to go and he just happened to have the perfect solution♡

[dragonnarrative-writes]

@charliemwrites infected me with Charmed!Slasher!Ghost. The dialogue is directly from part 4 of their series.

No content warnings for this installment. Please let me know if you need me to add or tag any.

Slasher Handler Masterlist

Not everyone appreciates optimism. Seeing the best in people, you’ve been told on multiple occasions, is naive at best and dangerous at worst. Someone could take advantage of you. People have taken advantage of you. You’re going to get yourself hurt!

The thing is, you’re not naive. You’re old enough to have experienced the casual cruelty of the world. But being cruel yourself doesn’t help anything. Kindness costs very little, and you’re happy to pay a little toward your karma every day. And when people think you’re an easy, bubbly target, they tend to let their guard down.

No one expects you to be observant.

Your new neighbor doesn’t expect you to be observant.

When you almost run into him the day he moves in, it doesn't take long for you to recognize him as the guy who brought you home from the bar. For one, he’s huge and doesn’t bother to hide it. Secondly, his eyes are this flat, empty, piercing blue until you apologize. And then he smiles, and and his eyes go from lifeless tundra to sort-of-welcomingly-frigid, and you know, you know, that this guy is dangerous.

And then he informs you that he’s moving just next door. You probe a bit, and he tells you he’s not worried about your noise, even as he asks about neighbors. You give him a little vulnerability, see how still he goes when you mention that you’re a bit introverted.

“Anyway!” You chirp, slipping back into the bubbly persona before the last test. “Do you need any help moving things in?”

And your new neighbor’s pupils dilate, ever so slightly, even as all the life in them drains away.

“Thank you, luv," he says in that deep voice, "but I’m almost finished. I wouldn’t want to hold you up.”

You feel your whole body flush as your nervous system screams predator-danger-RUN. You look down and away, try not to fidget.

“Well, lemme know if you need anything! I always forget something important when I move,” you say, and hope he doesn’t take your nervousness as an invitation to attack. “I’m the one on the left.”

He says “call me Riley,” so you do. Don’t bother to give him a fake name back, because if he wants to, he can look at the packages on your doormat and get your full name anyway.

You spend the rest of the afternoon chewing on your bottom lip, thinking. People at the grocery store probably think you’re daydreaming, or really worried about getting the right box mix for dessert. A kindly older woman picks out her favorite brownie mix and tells you its her husband’s favorite, just add a few caramel candies. You thank her, genuinely, and add the box to your basket.

Back at home, waiting for the brownies to finish baking, you let the anxiety simmer. Riley is a predator, yes, and you’re potential prey. But he already lives next door. And the neighbor before him was also dangerous, the way all men are dangerous. Admittedly, that feels like comparing a goldfish to a volcano, but it’s true. So you’ll bring him a welcome-to-the-building gift and endear yourself to him.

Being kind doesn’t cost anything. And if he likes you, he probably won’t kill you.