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hotchrinasily · 14 hours ago

Text

Skin S.R

Summary, Garica helps Spencer see there’s more than JJ he didn’t realize how much you cared for him because he’s been shutting everything out besides the future with him an JJ it was hard for him to see you even though you been there for him too .

Fem!reader x Spencer Reid

Content: comfort/hurt

Content warnings: heartache , pinning for Spencer at the wrong time or is it at the wrong time , hurt comfort reader try’s to pull away vulnerability, unspoken truths ,

Word count 1k

Author notes: first fic on this account please be gentle please thank you . This song hits different for me . It fits him too .

Dividers : @saradika-graphics & @enchanthings-a

I wish you knew that even you . Can't get under my skin If I don't let you in.

Spencer sat at his desk, a pile of case files scattered across the surface. His mind, however, was not on the case. His thoughts lingered on her—the constant ache in his chest whenever JJ’s name came up. JJ. She was always there, bright and kind, and yet, Spencer couldn't seem to let go of the idea of being with her.

He knew, deep down, that he should move on. But it was hard. It always was with JJ. She had this way of being everything he needed, and at the same time, someone just out of reach. He had tried. He tried to convince himself that maybe there was a chance, that somehow, she'd see him the way he saw her. But he always came back to this: a cycle of hope, disappointment, and self-doubt.

Maybe it was the quiet comfort of her presence, the way JJ was there when the world seemed too much. And maybe that’s what kept him stuck. He couldn't help it, could he?

“Spence?” A voice broke through his thoughts. It was Garcia, walking into the bullpen with her usual cheerfulness.

“Hey, Garcia.” He forced a smile, trying to mask the heaviness he felt. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore, but he also knew Garcia could read him like a book.

“You’re still daydreaming a life with JJ, aren’t you?” she asked with a soft sigh.

Spencer rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know how to stop.”

I mean she told me she loved me …

Garcia leaned against the desk, crossing her arms. “Spence… you’ve been holding onto this for way too long. I get it, you love her. But sometimes, you’ve got to face the truth. Maybe it’s not meant to be, and that’s okay. You can’t keep living in this dream world where things turn out the way you want them to.”

He stared down at the case file, a sinking feeling in his stomach. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was just too afraid to let go.

“Have you ever thought about...maybe...there’s someone else?” Garcia said softly.

Spencer blinked, glancing up at her with furrowed brows. "Someone else?"

Garcia's eyes flickered toward you—sitting at your desk, buried in paperwork but with a subtle softness about you, a quiet understanding that Spencer couldn’t deny.

You had always been there. The quiet, kind person who listened when he needed it most. You didn’t push him to talk, but when you did speak, it always had a way of making him feel seen. And yet, he’d never once allowed himself to see you in that way. Not like that.

Why hadn’t he noticed before? He caught his breath, feeling a strange pang in his chest.

Garcia’s voice brought him back to the present. “You know, not everything has to be so complicated, Spence. Sometimes, we overlook the people who are right in front of us, just because we’re too wrapped up in the idea of what could be. Maybe you should stop looking at what you think you want, and look at what’s really there.”

Spencer swallowed hard, her words lingering in his mind. Had he been so focused on the idea of JJ that he failed to see what was standing right in front of him?

He glanced at you again. This time, his gaze didn’t just linger—it searched for something. And as his eyes studied the way you worked so quietly, so effortlessly, there was a growing realization that maybe, just maybe, you were everything he needed.

But it was a thought he hadn’t allowed himself to entertain until now. How could he have been so blind?

A tight knot formed in his throat. Why didn’t I see it sooner?

You looked up then, your eyes catching his, and there was a softness in your gaze, like you knew exactly what was going on in his mind. Spencer quickly looked away, ashamed of himself.

How many times had you been there for him? How many times had you listened? And yet, he never once thought to see you like that.

Garcia’s voice was gentle as she spoke, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You deserve to be happy, Spence. But you can’t keep holding onto someone who doesn’t feel the same way. You deserve someone who sees you, who values you the way you’ve always wanted.”

He nodded, though the words seemed so much harder to grasp than they should have been. Maybe Garcia was right. Maybe he didn’t need JJ. Maybe what he needed was to stop looking so hard at the past and start seeing what was in front of him.

Spencer stood frozen, the words you had said to him swirling in his mind like a storm. He felt an overwhelming guilt, the kind that twisted his chest and made it hard to breathe. You had always been there, quietly supporting him, but he hadn’t been able to see it—he hadn’t been able to see you.

You watched him, your heart aching with the weight of everything left unspoken. The room felt suffocating, and the silence between you both was like a wall you didn’t know how to climb. You knew Spencer had been holding onto the idea of him and JJ for so long, and you understood it. You really did. But what hurt was the realization that, despite all this time, he hadn’t seen you the way you had hoped.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. This isn’t about you, you told yourself. You have to let him go. But it wasn’t easy. Nothing was ever easy when it came to Spencer Reid.

“Spence,” you started, your voice quieter than usual, “I know you’ve been holding onto this idea of you and JJ for a long time. I get it.” You felt the words hit you harder than you expected. The truth stung. “If you’re not ready to move on, I understand. But I’ve been here, in front of you, the whole time.”

You could feel your hands trembling slightly, a quiet sign of the nervousness and pain that was trying to break through. You clenched them together, trying to hold it in.

"Maybe I should take my own advice," you continued, letting out a shaky sigh. "Maybe I need to stop making up illusions in my head about us." You forced yourself to look away, not able to meet his eyes as your heart pounded in your chest. "It’s not healthy," you added, a weak laugh escaping you as you wiped your hand across your face, trying to keep it together.

You took another step back, your throat tight, but you knew this was the only way. “I know I’m not JJ. I know I’m just me.”

Spencer’s chest tightened, his heart beating louder in his ears as he watched you pull away. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, frozen in place, guilt flooding him. He had been so consumed by his feelings for JJ, but now, looking at you—really seeing you—he realized the distance between you two had been of his own making.

But then, as you turned to walk away, he felt a sudden panic grip him. His legs moved before his mind could catch up, and in a moment, he reached out, grabbing your arm gently to stop you from leaving. His touch was tentative, unsure, but there was something desperate in it too. Something that screamed he didn’t want to let you walk away, not without a chance to explain himself.

You froze, your heart racing, and the knot in your chest tightened. This is it, you thought. He’s going to tell me to go.

But when Spencer spoke, his voice was low and filled with a quiet remorse. “Please... don’t walk away.”

His words were almost lost in the heavy silence between you. He hadn’t realized it until this moment, but now, standing in front of you, he saw everything he had overlooked—how you’d always been there for him. How he had pushed you away, blind to what was right in front of him. The realization hit him like a freight train.

“I didn’t know how to... I didn’t know how to move on from the idea of JJ,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly. “I thought if I held onto that, maybe I wouldn’t feel this... this emptiness.” His eyes locked onto yours, his expression vulnerable and raw. “But now I see... I see that I’ve been holding onto the wrong things.”

You turned to face him, your eyes brimming with emotion, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. It was as if time had paused, and everything that had been left unsaid was hanging between you.

Finally, you spoke, your voice barely audible but filled with quiet strength. “Spence, I’m not asking for anything. I just wanted you to see me—really see me.” You took a deep breath. “I’m here, Spence. But if you can’t—if you’re not ready—then I have to step back.”

The words felt like they came from somewhere deep inside you, a place you hadn’t wanted to reach. But it was the only way to give him space, to give him the room to make his own decisions.

You took another step back, and Spencer felt something inside him crumble. He could hear the gentle hum of Garcia’s voice from across the room, watching from a distance, but it felt distant—almost irrelevant now. All he could think about was you.

Before you could move further, Spencer spoke again, his voice trembling. “I don’t want you to step back,” he said, more forcefully now, as though he couldn’t bear to let you go. “I... I’ve been so focused on the wrong things, and I’m sorry for that. I’ve been blind to what’s been right in front of me.”

Your chest tightened at his words, but there was a flicker of hope inside you. Maybe there’s something here. Maybe you had been wrong to think you’d need to give up on him entirely.

“Spence,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you met his gaze, ��you don’t have to apologize. I’m just... I’m here. You don’t have to be alone in this.”

His hand reached out slowly, almost uncertain, but this time, you didn’t pull away. Instead, you let him take your hand, the warmth of his touch grounding you in the midst of the uncertainty. Spencer’s eyes were searching yours, his own feelings written plainly on his face. He didn’t know where this was going, but he was willing to find out. For the first time, Spencer felt like he wasn’t running from his own heart.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, softer now, but with more conviction. “And thank you... for being here.”

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