#sisyphus must have been so full of hope to push that boulder up every day

[hua-fei-hua]

the way jjk has kids n teenagers always learning that the real world is harsh and unfair n you can't save everyone even if you want to. that our fate is to die, n we don't get to choose how it happens, n even if we dream of making it all work out, reality is cold n harsh.

that dreams are sometimes just dreams, and even if we put the work into it, we can still fail bc sometimes we're just not strong enough or not there fast enough...

the way it makes the adults, who have long since learned this lesson, always tell the kids that there's a reason why adults want to shield children from the real world, that it's not a sin to be a child, bc they want to impart the lessons of their hardships w/o forcing the kids through the same trauma.

the way they try to break the cycle only for their efforts to not always be fulfilled, instead leaving the kids with new burdens, different burdens, but burdens nonetheless...

[droxley]

pray for the wicked

pray for the wicked is considered the shittiest panic! album by many. they say that the music gets boring, and the lyrics are meaningless. while i do agree that the music can get boring, the lyrics don’t seem as meaningless as they seem at first glance. in fact, if you look closer at the lyrics, you can see that they’re actually a lot darker than they seem. while they aren’t as poetic as they were before the split, they can still require a bit of unpacking, which will be happening in this post (or an attempt at it).

DISCLAIMER: ALL OF THE FOLLOWING ARE IDEAS. I AM IN NO WAY CLAIMING THAT THIS IS WHAT THE LYRICS ACTUALLY MEAN. not all of these ideas are mine; i have had a handful of friends online who have helped dissect the meanings.

1. (fuck a) silver lining

brendon has said that the message of this song is that essentially nothing is good enough, that you should never let anything be good enough. while the mindset of “nothing is ever good enough” is a good mindset to have, if you’re a perfectionist/have anxiety and what you create isn’t ‘good enough’ for you, it can tear you down.

“no wings of wax or endless mountains” - these are both most likely referencing the greek myths of icarus and sisyphus. icarus and his father daedalus ran from king minos from crete, via wings made of feathers and wax. however, icarus, having too much fun, flew too close to the sun, causing the wax to melt and the feathers to fall off. now wingless, icarus fell down to earth. sisyphus was doomed to roll a boulder up a mountain for eternity. the catch was this: every time he got near the top, the boulder would roll back down the hill, forcing him to start over again. by saying that there will be none of these, brendon’s essentially saying that the misfortunes of icarus and sisyphus aren’t going to happen.

“sunset shadows through the trophies” - not sure what this means, but the sunset and trophies come up again in this album. ‘trapped in your sunset bungalow,’ from dying in la. ‘they wanna celebrate my medals or they want to take my trophies,’ from hey look ma, i made it. ‘oscars and emmys and grammys, everyone here is a trophy,’ from roaring 20s.

2. say amen (saturday night)

“been travelin’ in packs that i can’t carry anymore; been waiting for somebody else to carry me” - a pack is another word for group, and to ‘carry’ can mean to lead a team to victory, especially if they’re not very good or dead. brendon could be saying that he’s been leading a group, and is now waiting for someone else to come and help him.

“if i try to change my life one more day, there would be nobody else to save” - if he tries to change his life, and by extension, himself, he’s saying that there would be nobody else to save. he either doesn’t need saving, or doesn’t think that he can be saved.

3. hey look ma, i made it

this song is supposed to be celebratory, and it is, mostly. there are a few parts, like when brendon talks about how his ‘friends’ want to take his trophies from him. brendon did make it, he got to the top, but it seems like he’s sacrificed a lot to get up there.

“all my life been hustlin’ and tonight is my appraisal; cause i’m a hooker selling songs and my pimp’s a record label” - brendon is literally comparing himself to a prostitute, calling himself a hooker and the music industry his pimp. while this relationship wouldn’t be too far from the truth, saying that he’s a prostitute can be seen as a bit extreme. after all, he has plenty of money, while prostitutes are there because they have no other way to get money.

“this world is full of demons” - the world is full of terrible people and things, yes, but brendon goes all the way to say that it’s full of demons. it’s also interesting that he chose the world ‘this’ instead of ‘the.’ it’s implying that there are more worlds than this one, and that just adds to the whole vibe in king of the clouds. however, this could also be saying that there are different worlds that can be accessed by doing drugs or drinking. 

“so i do the deed, get up and leave” - brendon is, yet again, most likely referencing prostitution. doing the deed is a way of saying having sex. as for getting up and leaving, well... prostitutes get paid, satisfy their clients, and then get up from the bed and leave.

“friends are happy for me or they’re honeysuckle phonies” - he’s essentially saying that ‘friends’ are happy for him, or they’re fake. as for ‘honeysuckle:’ the victorian language of flowers used honeysuckle to show devotion. if you keep that in mind, this phrase says that his friends are happy for him, or they’re devoted fakes.

“some are loyal soldiers while these other thorns are rosy” - this directly follows the lyrics above. he’s saying that some of his friends are loyal and stay with him no matter what (soldier), while others he calls thorns. by calling them rosy, he’s essentially saying that while they do look nice, they will still draw blood.

“and if you never know who you can trust, then trust me you’ll be lonely” - if you look at the previous two phrases, he’s split the people into two groups: those who stay by his side, and those who don’t. brendon could be saying that by not knowing which one of these you can trust, you can be taken advantage of and ditched.

“think i must be dreaming, wide awake and dreaming” - this just reminds me of king of the clouds, either because it sounds like he’s on something or disassociating. it’s probably supposed to be happy, because being a rock star was one of brendon’s biggest dreams, but since it sounds so much like king of the clouds (which doesn’t really seem all too positive to me), i just can’t hear it.

the song aside, if we look at the music video, it basically says that musicians are just easily replaceable puppets. also, if the amazing beebo is supposed to be brendon and his way to fame, then that would mean that brendon actually had a phase where he did cocaine. yes, he got better, but it’s also possible that he wouldn’t have gotten better.

4. high hopes

this is the song that really helped panic! be more recognized and really helped bring in more fans. say what you want about it (i personally do agree that it is overplayed and also rather repetitive but... listen to the instrumentals?), but this song is one main component in panic!’s success today.

“stay up on that rise and never come down” - you’re going to have to come down at some point. he’s at the highest point at this song, but the anticipation for when you’re going to come crashing down nearly overpowers that.

5. roaring 20’s

there’s a lot to unpack on this. buckle up.

brendon has said that this song was based off his time on broadway and kinky boots, but there seem to be references that could be based off touring.

“broadway is black like a sinkhole” - brendon was on kinky boots on broadway. he has said multiple times that it was a good experience overall. so then why would he say that broadway is black (a color often associated with evil), and like a sinkhole? it would be interesting to note that a sinkhole is something that’s caused by a collapse in the surface layer.

“this is the oddest of summers” - i don’t want to look too far into the fact that he chose to use the word ‘odd.’ there are a fair amount of synonyms, but he chose to use the one that’s in the album title of pretty. odd., which is interesting. on top of that, summers (or at least the day and night/sun and moon) seem to hold a deeper meaning in panic!’s lyrics. there are multiple mentions in pretty. odd. and v+v.

“the past on the pavement below me” - earlier in the verse, it is sung that the narrator of this song is on the rooftop. something on the pavement below them would probably mean that it got either pushed off, or it jumped. either way, it’s dead. brendon is essentially saying that the past is dead. but did he push it, or did it jump?

“my telltale heart’s a-hammer in my chest” - the tell-tale heart is a short story by edgar allan poe, narrated by someone who tries to convince the reader that they’re sane while describing how they murdered an old man. at the end, the narrator gave themselves up, as something caused them to hear a hammering noise that they interpreted as the heart of the dead man. why exactly brendon would put this reference in this song, i’m not sure, but referencing books/stories is something that has happened often, especially in afycso. it’s also interesting that he would refer to the telltale heart as his. in addition, using this reference adds to the overall vibe of the song. murder and insanity aren’t very happy things to be writing about.

“cut me a silk tie tourniquet” - silk is often a way of showing off wealth and status. a tourniquet is a way to help staunch bleeding. again, this just adds on to the imagery of the song. more blood.

“this is my roaring, roaring 20’s, i don’t even know me” - it sounds like brendon’s looking back at himself and who he was, and that he can’t even recognize himself at this point. this also sounds self deprecating in a way. your twenties are supposed to be around when you peak, as you’re still young, but have the freedom to do whatever you want. this idea is further helped by the fact that the word ‘roaring’ is put in there. (of course, that could just be a nod to the time period.) however, the ‘i don’t even know me’ just sounds like he’s getting high all the time and letting the past all blend together, like “look at me, i’m peaking, i’m out here getting wasted.” not remembering what happened is a side effect of excessive drinking and sometimes drug use, which seems to be a recurring theme in this album. the fact that excessive drinking and drug use is a repeating theme is... concerning, to say the least.

“roll me like a blunt cause i wanna go home” - brendon smokes weed a lot, as proven by his many videos and streams online. so much that it has apparently gotten into his songwriting. the ‘i wanna go home’ just sounds like he’s tired of what he’s doing and just wants to relax. if this song was inspired by his run on kinky boots, what exactly happened there? there were a few incidents where fans would shout and scream in his face when he came out after shows to sign brochures, which would make sense. brendon has anxiety, and if the fans didn’t back off, an anxiety/panic attack could happen. (there are already a few cases of this happening, one being in the sydney airport.)

“oscars and emmys and grammys, everyone here is a trophy” - saying that a person is a trophy doesn’t say very good things about that person. a lot of celebrities can be objectified by their fans, but be glorified objects. hence, a trophy. brendon could also be saying that people are often reduced to the trophies that they have won and aren’t considered human. either way, the overall idea of this phrase is not very positive.

“hallucinations only mean that your brain is on fire; if it’s lord of the flies in my mind tonight i don’t know if i will survive” - lord of the flies is about a group of boys who get marooned on an island and go insane. they initially try to keep some sort of order, but ultimately sink into chaos. at one point, some of the boys set fire to the forest to try and smoke out another one of the boys. this is most likely the part that brendon was referring to. it’s like his brain is the forest. he’s saying that he tries to keep his head and thoughts in order (lord of the flies in my mind), but it eventually sinks into chaos and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to survive.

“lighters up if you’re feeling me” - lighters are used at shows, often to show support/approval for a musician. the ‘if you’re feeling me’ would probably refer to the approval part. something interesting, though, is that during live performances of northern downpour, the band would ask everyone to specifically put their lighters up.

“fade to black if you’re not mine” - if you’ve seen the overture, or the video that was released to help tease fans for the release of vices & virtues, there is a bar scene. there’s one scene where there are two shadows in the foreground. they’re supposed to represent ryan ross and jon walker. i’m not saying that this is what brendon meant, but it’s possible.

“i just need a sign or a signal inside” - he’s just feeling hopeless and empty at this point, waiting for something to prove that he’s human, maybe. there’s a parallel in always from vices & virtues: ‘blink back to let me know that i’m skin and bone.’

6. dancing’s not a crime

“i’m still uninvited” - brendon has said that this song is about how he’s often the ‘obnoxious friend who’s always dancing in public,’ which, let’s be honest, isn’t a great title. he’s uninvited because he is that friend, but the ‘still’ is important to note. it implies that he hasn’t been invited in a while, which... hurts.

“i’m going insane and i don’t care” - he’s just become numb to everything. he could be literally going insane, or he could be feeling like he’s going insane because of various drugs that he could have taken.

“if you’re night crawling with him i won’t take it lying down” “don’t call me saint california if you’re at another altar” - both of these sound like brendon’s s/o is cheating on him, but... he’s happily married?

7. one of the drunks

this song is, rather obviously, about drinking. it also sounds incredibly disorienting.

“welcome to the club” - this phrase is often used to welcome people to a group, and is also sarcastically used to welcome people to a really shitty part of life.

“orange juice, pour out half the carton; gray goose, pour it, get it started” - these two are the ingredients for a cocktail called a screwdriver: half orange juice, half vodka, or gray goose, in this case. the thing that catches my attention is the fact that you’re pouring out half the orange juice carton. this is half the drink. you would have to use enough vodka to fill in the other half of the carton. if you said that the carton was maybe a liter big, you’d be drinking half a liter of extremely strong alcohol. and since it’s mixed with orange juice, you’d probably just drink more alcohol than you originally thought. this is... a lot of drinking.

“good times remedy your sorrows” - he’s saying that good times cure your problems, what you’re stressing about.

“baptize” - to baptize can be to clean yourself of all your sins. a lot of people resort to drinking to try and forget their sorrows, to drown them. this could be considered an incredibly twisted form of baptizing.

“don’t worry about tomorrow” - this might refer to the hangover that you would definitely have the next day. it is also, needless to say, extremely shitty advice. however, if someone were to follow it, they would find themselves blackout drunk, depending on how bad their issues might be.

“every weekend with your friends, every weekday when it ends” - every weekend with your friends is a bit... excessive, but normal for some people. it’s with your friends, so you’re having fun. however, ‘every weekday when it ends...’ i assume ‘it’ is the weekend. in which case, he’s saying that he’s partying every weekday, and since it says nothing about friends, he’s probably just drinking and partying on his own. which is a new level of yikes.

“it’s all good, i guess” - if the ‘i guess’ wasn’t in there, it would be fine. you’d be able to tell that he’s having fun, it’s all good. the addition of ‘i guess,’ just adds in a lot of doubt. is he not having a good time? this part also sorta sounds slurred.

“searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb” - he’s high, but wants to be higher, hence the ‘high as the sun.’ this might be because of being uncomfortably numb: a high is known to give you a bit of a buzz. maybe he’s just looking for that buzz, and consequently getting higher and higher.

“never dry, every day you’re thirsty” - in this case, i assume ‘dry’ means alcohol running out. being thirsty every day probably means the cravings for alcohol, which only serves to bring into the light how bad this person’s possible addiction is.

“bourbon high, sip it till you’re tipsy” - only sipping until you’re tipsy probably means you’re going to be drinking more. a lot more.

“night’s young, searching for a feeling” - there’s that numbness again. drinking a lot can help mute your feelings. the fact that it’s not too far into the night says a lot about how much this person drinks.

“round and round and round” - he could be talking about a round of drinks, or the fact that the room can feel like it’s spinning when you’ve had too much to drink. this part just sounds dizzying in itself.

8. the overpass

this song sounds like two people who are just pining for each other.

“let me hear you say something” - these two people haven’t talked in a while, or it’s been a long one-sided conversation.

“sorry to get sentimental tonight (that perfume lingers in your hair), it’s just that everything reminds me of things i thought i shouldn’t have to see again” - it sounds like he’s been having a good time, but the smell of *that* perfume just reminds him of something he thought he’d never had to think of again. brendon sounds like he’s apologizing for ruining the good times they’d been having.

“(you need me don’t you)” - this could have two ways of being read: ‘you need me.’ and ‘you need me... right?’

“meet me, meet me, at the overpass, the overpass; sketchy girls and lipstick boys; troubled love and high speed noise” - an overpass is a place where a lot of people would do things that are pretty sketchy and probably borderline illegal. the phrase ‘sketchy girls and lipstick boys’ just serves to cement that image, and ‘high speed noise’ would probably be referring to the cars or trains that would be passing by nearby.

“i know you wanna meet me, meet me at the overpass” “i have a shirt that keeps your smell, you keep one too in parallel” - it sounds like both of them are pining for each other, but chose not to do anything about it, or can’t.

“but i remember every time; every thing about you is perfect, down to your blood type; but i remember every time” - he sounds drunk in this, and the background vocals are mixed together, which just heightens that. the blood type comment is a bit creepy, and honestly sounds like one that you’d only make while drunk.

9. king of the clouds

brendon was high while writing this, and it’s possible that he was rambling a bit. however, the final lyrics are the edited version. he had to have revised the lyrics many times to get them to rhyme and to fit into the music. even then, the gist of the lyrics is that the narrator of the song needs to get high in order to escape from the world, and all that’s in it. it seems to be centered around insomnia and dissociating, and that is honestly sort of scary in itself.

“every day, i’m carl sagan in space to escape this old world, this old world” - carl sagan was an astronomer, along with a few other things, and his most famous work had to do with being the first to send physical messages into space that extraterrestrials would be able to translate. being in space means that there’s no sound, and all in all you would be incredibly isolated from the rest of humanity. brendon is escaping from this world, and he’s calling it old. from that, you can assume that he’s tired of this world. in hey look ma, he said that ‘this world is full of demons.’ another way of looking at this could be by considering ‘old world’ as africa, europe, and asia. ‘old-world’ can also be a way to say ‘old fashioned.’ so he could be thinking that he’s in ‘space’ to escape the old fashioned ways of thinking (homophobia, etc).

“some days i lie wide awake till the sun hits my face and i fade, elevate from the earth” - the lying awake part is probably about insomnia. this happens to people with anxiety a lot; probably has something to do with brendon and his thoughts keeping him up until sunrise. second part: brendon was, as stated before, high while writing this. to fade is another way of saying to get high, and to ‘elevate’ helps with that imagery as well.

“far away to a place where i’m free from this weight” - far away probably means to space, which in turn is probably getting high. this weight is probably gravity, which probably symbolizes his thoughts and stress. so, in short, brendon could be saying that he gets high to get away from his stress for a little while.

10. old fashioned

“from a kiss to a swill” - a swill can be a large mouthful of drink, such as ale. again, alcohol. this probably means that brendon and some other person kissed and drank.

“we were swallowin’ the nights like we had nine lives” - acting like they would stay young forever, partying a lot during the nights?

“seventeen so gone” - brendon was seventeen when he first joined the band.

“we were borderline kids with a book of disorders, medicating every day to keep the straightness in order” - brendon’s probably referring to the medication he used to be on that dealth with his adhd and anxiety. keeping the straightness in order probably refers to keeping his mental disorders in order.

“so pour out some liquor, make it an old-fashioned” “two dashes of the bitters, add some ice and you pour” - these lyrics reference how to make a drink called an old-fashioned. an old-fashioned is a ‘cocktail made by muddling sugar with bitters, then adding alcohol… and finally a twist of citrus rind.’ again, the theme of drinking comes back.

11. dying in la

“the sun was in your eyes” - this could be referring to two things: the first being that the california sun can be extremely bright and blinding, and this could just be a way of saying that there is a sense of awe (‘you couldn’t believe it’). this could also be referring to the idiom ‘having the sun in your eyes.’ it means to be drunk. this person could be literally drunk, which wouldn’t be surprising, given the context of this album, or they could be drunk on the possibilities now that they are in la. however, i’m not sure if this is an actual idiom that people have heard and use often.

“riches all around; you’re walking, stars are on the ground; you start to believe it” - the hollywood walk of fame is located in la, and has the names of famous celebrities in stars that are embedded in the ground, as a monument to their contributions to the entertainment industry. these lyrics could mean that, surrounded by riches and seeing the names of celebrities, the narrator of this song started to believe in their own success.

“every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you” - this is most likely referring to the hollywood boulevard, a place where all kinds of people, including ‘dreamers,’ flock to.

“nobody knows you now when you’re dying in la; and nobody owes you now when you’re dying in la” - this could be interpreted as the narrator knowing no one while in la.

“nights at the chateau, trapped in your sunset bungalow; you couldn’t escape it” - this is most likely about the chateau marmont, located on sunset boulevard, in west hollywood. even the cheapest rooms are rather expensive, and the bungalows are amongst the higher end of the spectrum. the not being able to escape could be about not being able to escape how much money you have, if that’s understandable. the more money you have, the more media is going to be on your back about things, because that’s how this world works.

“drink of paradise” - this could be referring to alcohol, as it can help people forget their worries. hence, ‘paradise.’ a paradise is also a cocktail. yet again, the theme of drinking returns.

overall, this album is… quite a bit darker than i first imagined. thank you for reading all the way through if you did, and feel free to add on, whether it be other lyrics, or your opinion on the same lyrics.

[allspark]

It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like Transformers, Transformers/Ghostbusters, The Crow, Disney Afternoon, My Little Pony, and more! All coming your way for June 26th!

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MARILYN MANOR #1

Magdalene Visaggio (A/CVR A) Marley Zarcone

Where were you in ’81? When the White House goes dark for 17 days in August, the president’s spoiled daughter and her best friend Abe-who claims to be possessed by the spirit of Abe Lincoln-throw a rager at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, unearthing long dead historical figures and government secrets that are better off buried. Sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll séances, and secret passageways lead to time-bending mystical romps where past and present collide. But at what cost to Marilyn Kelleher, the world at large, and music television?

Uniting the red-hot Eisner-nominated talents of writer Magdalene Visaggio (Eternity Girl, Kim and Kim) and artist Marley Zarcone (Shade, the Changing Girl, Effigy) for the first time, MARILYN MANOR explores identity, classism, appropriation, and friendship. It’s a rollicking, neon party gone out of bounds when we need it most-set just in time for the greatest pop cultural marriage to date: MTV.

“We’ve been trying to capture the feel, the excitement, the energy of the rise of the New Romantics, of the decade that embraced excess and excitement in hugely over-the-top ways, and filled it with chaos and insanity. This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever written in the best way possible, like an apocalypse directed by John Hughes.”

MY LITTLE PONY SPIRIT OF THE FOREST #2

Ted Anderson (A/CVR A) Brenda Hickey (CVR B) Tony Fleecs

Strange things are happening in the woods around Ponyville! When ponies start seeing weird shapes, hearing unknown sounds, and losing the tools they need to work, all signs point to a mysterious monster! But it couldn’t actually be the Spirit of the Forest-right?!

PUNKS NOT DEAD: LONDON CALLING #5

David Barnett (A/CVR A) Martin Simmonds

It’s the moment the whole story has been building to… Fergie comes face-to-face with Billy, the dad he’s never met. Or should that be Beleth, banished prince of hell? But before that, have Sid and Fergie actually found a way to stop being stuck together? And finally, Dorothy and Asif return to London with Natalie in tow for a battle royale unlike any other. Don’t miss “To the Underworld,” the smashing conclusion to our sophomore arc!

“…razor-sharp dialogue, black humour … dripping in punk rock…” –Tripwire

“…a riot of technicolour and tentacles…extraordinary…” –Hero Collector

ROAD OF BONES #1 2ND PTG

Rich Douek (A/CVR) Alex Cormack

ROAD OF BONES #2

Rich Douek (A/CVR A) Alex Cormack

After weeks battling the cold, freezing tundra and a dwindling food supply, tension runs high between Roman, Sergei, and Grigori as they flee the horrors of the Kolyma Gulag. Their one hope is reaching a hunting lodge in the mountains where they can replenish their supplies-but the rocky path grows more treacherous with every step. Even so, Roman has yet to discover the true meaning of treachery-until he learns what Grigori and Sergei’s true plan for survival is. The dark tale of survival at any cost in the Siberian wilderness continues in ROAD OF BONES #2 from writer Rich Douek (GUTTER MAGIC) and artist Alex Cormack (SINK).

Survival drama at its finest!

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