#since i talked about them the most in this post i felt like tagging them
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retros-artandstuff · 6 months ago
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vriska + a transmasc dave doodle
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#tryna get into colored pencils again we'll see how it goes#its been a while since ive done a good tag ramble#but like i dont hv anything to ramble about#my art#traditional art#doodles#fanart#homestuck#homestuck fanart#dave strider#dave strider fanart#vriska serket#vriska fanart#oh actually i do hv smth to ramble about today#that being scheduled posts#yknow scheduled posts are actually really convinient and helped me quite a bit#like i used them for a couple months and honestly really liked useing them cuz it allowed me to hv a pretty consistent posting schedule#but in the end i just didnt feel right with it mostly due to the fact that even with it set to post three times a week it felt weird to hav#some of my drawings posting weeks after i finished them. like they were old news to me already but they were barely being released to every#one else it just felt weird for me ig. not to mention that like on the rare occassions that i didnt have anything to post i felt obliged to#draw smth just so i would have smth to post and most of the time that led to me being unhappy with my art. so now ive just decided like fuc#it imma post whenever i want and honestly im really happy with that even if i might be going a little trigger happy with the posting button#recently lmao. ive just been drawing a whole lot and hv so much to post its insane. hell i still hv things in my gallery that i needa post#but ill save those for the next couple of days lol but yeah thanks for coming to my very long ted talk/ramble and goodnight 😴#damn im such a yapster what the hell
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fangirl-dot-com · 6 months ago
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🧠Fake Amnesia
*part of the reverse trope series*
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fan!Reader Genre: Fluff/Humor/SMAU Summary: There was a saying that if you knew a celebrity existed, your chances of meeting them out and about decreased significantly. Is it true? No clue. But, you weren't about to let that stop you from finding Lando Norris in Imola.
*I am so so sorry for the very late and delayed chapter. I hope you all like it! I switched out this one to write it before the next as "Love Triangle" was supposed to come out first, but we've had a lot of Lestappen for now! But here we go!"
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
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Were you a bit stupid? 
Yes. Yes you were. Did you more money than your budget allowed just to get to Imola a few days early to possibly not even find Lando? You didn’t want to talk about it. 
But right now as you perused through the local shopping area, you didn’t take the time to really dwell on your past choices. Only finding Lando could save you now. Which that seemed like a faraway dream. 
Whatever that one reddit post said about having a higher chance of meeting a celebrity if you didn’t know them was absolute bullshit. You couldn’t go back in time to stop yourself from liking a thirst trap of Lando on TikTok. And now because of that, your chances of meeting the British driver seriously decreased. 
How on earth were you supposed to find one of the most popular men alive, on a race weekend, where everyone was already looking to spot the driver in a more relaxed setting? You had no clue. But the shopping center felt like a good idea. 
You had been drawn in by one of the jewelry sections, eyes glazing over the number of zeros that followed every first number. Your heart winced at the thought of even buying one. To be honest, you didn’t even know how you got into this mall in the first place. Everyone around you was dressed in the highest European fashion. 
Your outfit wasn’t terrible per say, but it didn’t reflect the Italian area either. You were wearing some cream baggy linen pants that matched the light orange top that you had thrown on after scrambling to find a shirt. You didn’t really know exactly what shirt you were wearing, except that it was comfortable and went well with the pants. The giant number 4 on the back went completely unnoticed. Sandals adorned your feet and sunglass sat as though a crown on your head. Your cross-body bag dangled a bit against your side. 
You had just cringed once again at a price tag when your eyes landed on some brown curly hair. Your eyes followed the coils down to the face and you wanted to scream (but held it in because you were not about to get kicked out). 
There was no way that Lando Norris was standing about 10 feet away from you. 
There was no way. 
Except your hands automatically opened your phone and the twitter app popped up. You were too busy looking down at your phone, fingers moving at the speed of light, to notice that some hazel eyes had landed on your figure. 
Lando, on the other hand, wanted to sigh. Could he go one day without having to get stopped by fans? The giant 4 on your shirt seemed to mock him. Internally, he was wishing that the girl was a Max or Charles fan. 
But, he was going to be the bigger person and approach the nice looking girl before she could bring more attention to him. He decreased the space between them and tapped her shoulder, getting her attention. 
You were not expecting a tap on the shoulder. And you were definitely not expecting that tap to come from Lando Norris’s finger. 
“Can I sign something for you?” he asked. The sound of his voice must have put some type of spell on you since you felt as though you couldn’t speak. 
Lando huffed. “Please? I don’t need other people finding out that I’m here and then I’ll have to leave.” 
You blinked twice at him before you finally found your voice. “I’m sorry. Who are you exactly?” 
Stupid reddit post. 
The McLaren driver wanted to smack himself. Were you a fan? Or maybe you were wearing a papaya colored shirt that supported another person, who happened to have the same number? Or maybe if was your friend’s shirt? Or one you thrifted?
He winced. “I am so sorry. I thought. . . ” 
You shifted on your feet, brain trying to come up with an idea for what happens next. You were standing in front of thee Lando Norris. You couldn’t miss this opportunity. 
Lando watched your eyes widen and he wanted to hide. Maybe you were just shocked that it was him? 
Your eyes then squinted. “You look really familiar. Oh, I know where you’re from.” 
The Briton wanted to run and hide. This was it, you were going to start squealing, and then other people will look that way, see Lando, cause a giant crowd, and then he wouldn’t be able to do anything for the rest of the weekend. 
He was doomed. 
“You’re that actor right? From Spiderman.” 
This time, Lando blinked while staying silent. 
“No, I believe that’s Tom Holland.” 
“Oh.” 
Now it was getting awkward with the two of you just looking at each other. Which, this gave you the perfect opportunity to memorize the different shades of blue, green, and brown in his eyes. You looked to the side and chewed on you bottom lip. 
Lando looked stuck. 
“I am so sorry for interrupting your shopping,” he started out. 
You waved your hands, trying to act nonchalant. “It’s fine. Wasn’t like I could buy anything here. Way too many zeros for my liking.” 
Lando giggled at that and you internally melted. 
Time to add “got Lando Norris to giggle like a schoolgirl” on your resume. 
“Yeah. Bit too posh for me as well.” 
You raised an eyebrow. “Really? You look like you fit in a bit more than I do.” 
He rolled his eyes before huffing. “I’d rather spend time playing video games at my house instead.” 
Now this is what you could get behind. When you first started following Lando, gaming started to interest you. Because of him, you were able to meet a bunch of friends through gaming. Your notifications were specifically set up to let you know when Lando was streaming. 
Your eyes lit up with some excitement, which Lando thought was adorable. 
“I like to game too! It’s fun playing weird simulator games. Me and my friends tried this goat game one time and we couldn’t stop laughing.” 
This time, Lando’s eyes sparkled. 
“I’ve played goat simulator too with my friends! Charles . . .” he caught himself, not wanting to give out more names. “Uh my friends Carl, Alec, and Jord really liked it during the pandemic. And then we got Dax in on it too.” 
You wanted to absolutely start laughing, since you actually watched that stream live back in 2020. The cute names he gave to Charles, Alex, George, and Max were adorable. Your friends, although knowing you were watching the stream, had sent you the link and asked if you’d want to play the same simulator. Let’s just say, your laugh rivaled teapot-Charles. 
“They sound like fun,” you said, a warm tone in your voice that had Lando melting like chocolate under a hot summer’s sun. 
There was a bit of silence before Lando spoke up again. “Do you maybe, this sounds so weird, but there’s a game store farther down, would you want to join me?” 
There was no way in hell that you’d tell him no. 
You smiled up at him. “Sure! Lead the way! By the way, I’m Y/n.” 
Lando went to say something but stopped. You could tell he almost said his name, and you’d bet money on the name that was about to come out of his mouth. 
“I’m Bob.”
Bingo. 
You snorted. “You don’t look like a Bob. But what would I know?” 
The two of you laughed as you started walking farther into the shopping center. You exchanged laughs here and there, sharing stories about your lives with Lando being very vague about his day job. 
“I work as an Uber driver,” he had said after you confessed that you were now working as a part-time gamer and then part-time relator. The work was hard, but that job allowed you to spend your hard-earned money on fun things like: coming to Imola early to try to find Lando. 
Low-and-behold, you did. 
Spending the afternoon with him felt so comfortable, as if you had known each other your entire lives. And Lando, to his surprise, felt the same. After the gaming store, he even invited you to lunch. 
“You know you don’t have to do that,” you told him, but kept stride alongside him as he walked toward the small restaurants. 
He shrugged. “I know. But I like spending time with you.” 
A deep blush formed on your face as you kept walking. The bright red caused Lando to smirk just a bit. 
As you ate and made conversation, you suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom. You quickly excused yourself and left, leaving Lando at the table along. 
He hadn’t meant to look, but your phone kept going off and his eyes just barely looked at your screen. They widened with he noticed his exact points in the season along with McLaren’s and the race schedule. And the picture of him from Miami after his first win as your lockscreen.
The Box-Box app. 
He pursed his lips for a moment, briefly feeling played. But as he sat and thought about the past few hours that he spent with you, he felt content. At any point, you could have screamed his name, asked for a picture, and ruin his shopping trip. You could have tweeted his location and hordes of people would have shown up. 
But you didn’t.  
The McLaren driver was so caught up in his head that he didn’t heard you coming. Thankfully, your screen had gone dark, still giving the effect that you “didn’t know” who he really way. 
“Everything ok Bob?” you asked as you sat back down, stealing one of his French fries from his tray. 
Lando shook his head, ridding the “betrayal” from his thoughts. 
“Just perfect. Trying to figure out who might win the Formula 1 race this weekend.” 
He wanted to smirk at you froze for just a second before leaning back just a bit, arms crossed over your chest. 
“What is that? Some type of NASCAR thing?” 
Oh, so you knew how to play. 
Luckily for Lando, so did he. 
“It’s a bit different,” he said as he took a sip of his drink. 
You were internally freaking out. 
Did he know? If he knew then he might say something. And then he’ll call his security team and get you a ban from the paddock. And you might even go to jail for stalking. Could you even go to Italian jail for that? You didn’t know and didn’t want to find out. 
However, Lando kept silent as the two of you finished your lunches. Easy conversation did flow once again when you steered it back to gaming. You had a giant smile as the two of you walked out of the shopping area. 
However, your heart dropped when you realized that the time with the Briton was coming to a quick end. Lando was feeling the same. 
You let out a sigh as you turned to look him in the eyes. “Thank you for today. I had a lot of fun! Like I said, you didn’t have to.” 
Lando scoffed. “Of course I did. I interrupted your shopping. It was the least I could do.” 
There was a lingering silence before you broke it. 
“I guess this is the end then Bob.” You held out a hand for him to shake, but he rolled his eyes and brought you into a hug. You parted after a bit and started to walk toward the little Fiat you had rented for the weekend. 
Lando felt torn until he realized he could definitely see you again. 
“Y/n! Wait!” 
You turned around to see Lando running up to you, phone out. 
“Can I have your number?” 
Yep, this is how you were going to die. Y/n L/n found dead in a parking lot after Lando Norris asked for her number. What an amazing way to go out in the end. 
You didn’t say anything, but quickly opened your phone and handed it to him, new contact ready to be filled out. The driver was smirking to himself as he filled out his information. He handed your phone back to you, only to lean down and kiss your cheek.
The familiar bright red once again filled them in as he leaned back. 
“I had a lot of fun today. Maybe I’ll see you soon?” he quietly said as he started to walk away. 
“Maybe,” you said back, biting your bottom lip after. 
Lando swore that if the two of you weren’t in the parking lot, he’d bite it for you. 
When he was a bit away, he turned back and waved at you, happy to see that you were still staring at him. But who wouldn’t stare at Lando Norris though. Definitely not you, you could stare all day long if you could. 
“Bye Y/n!”
“Bye Lando!” 
Your hands clapped over your mouth as you watched him lean back in a full laugh. You even had him hunching over in a fit of giggles. You still watched as his shoulders shake as he got into what looked to be an Uber. 
Your phone buzzed, causing you to look down at it. There was an email and a text message. One from McLaren and one from “Lando 🧡” 
“Maybe next time I can sign your shirt. I think it’s cute that you follow my points :)”
You turned around quickly, trying to see the back of your shirt in the reflection of your rental car. There it was, in all it’s glory. 
The giant-ass “4.” 
“Shit.” 
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y/n_l/n has posted
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y/n_y/n kinda confused about 20 guys driving around in circles. someone know what this is called?
also ran into this really cute guy. says he drives for a living. didn't know uber drivers could be hot
liked by friend1, bestie, landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 3,204 others
friend1 ayo is that the guy that you will not shut up about?
landonorris awww you don't shut up about me??
y/n_l/n STOP EXPOSING ME
bestie ok I see the appeal, can you ask someone for that brunet in the red's number??
maxverstappen1 🤺🤺🤺
y/n_l/n i think he's taken
charles_leclerc I am??
maxverstappen1 ☹️
charles_leclerc I AM TAKEN
friend2 so luckyyyyyyy
friend4 glad you had fun!
oscarpiastri I think it's called Formula 1
y/n_l/n finally someone who knows something @.landonorris you've been replaced
landonorris osc, we've talked about this
fan1 what the heck is going on
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @myxticmoon @cherry-piee @blueberry64857959 @glitterquadricorn @lizzypiastri @sam-is-lost @spilled-coffee-cup @ilove-tswizzle @the-untamed-soul @allenajade-ite @starssfall @torchbearerkyle @judespoision @halfdeadsage @juniper-july19 @severewobblerlightdragon @thatgirlmj @gods-menace @ineedafictionalman @namgification @dark-night-sky-99 @samantha-chicago @2pagenumb @treehouse-mouse @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @kagatinkita @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @awekbachira @vellicora @skepvids @sunrizef1 @stan-josie @fanficweasley @hiireadstuff @barcelonaloverf1life @c-losur3 @graciewrote @bruhhhhhhhhehhhhhhh @tallrock35 @ashy-kit @kat-s2 @minkyungseokie @lozzamez3 @leslieis-crying @adventuresofrose @lighttsoutlewis
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boobearymuch · 25 days ago
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Their Habits —♡ LADS Scenarios
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—♡Summary: Everyone has habits, but not everyone enjoys having you point them out... —♡Tags: gender-neutral, pure fluff —♡A/N: Silly thing I whipped up after being told I bounce my leg too much lolll —♡ masterlist
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—♡ Zayne
Zayne squints so much without his glasses. He insists he only needs them when his eyes get tired—but clearly—that wasn’t the case. “Zayne, look!” You eagerly pointed out a flyer posted on the door of his favorite boba spot. They were hosting an event next weekend, it read, and encouraged customers not to miss out on the opportunity. You watched his hazel eyes sharpen into a squint.
“Event…?” He still had trouble reading it, though, and absently tugged your clasped hands forward as he leaned in for a better look. After a few seconds, his eyebrows relaxed, and he hummed appreciatively, “They’re introducing new flavors. Perhaps we should…what?” 
You failed to conceal an amused smile. “You need your glasses, old man.” The nickname was not received well, by any means.
“The text is small.” He answered coolly, “The average person would also have difficulty reading it.” Then he slipped his hand around your waist, eyes narrowing, “And I’m not old.”
You couldn’t help yourself, you laughed, “Have you considered contacts?” The look he gave you was deeply unamused, “No, no, you’re right. You look cuter in glasses, anyway.” Zayne's ears tinted pink under your playful stare. 
“...Let’s go inside before they close.” You pinched his flustered cheeks.
“Are you sure? The menu is so tiny. What if you can’t read it and order the wrong thing?” Your mouth promptly shut after his grip on you tightened in a warning. Zayne remembered to bring his glasses on your next outing (and the one after that).
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—♡ Sylus
Sylus hums nonsense when it’s too quiet. It’s like he constantly needs to fill silences with some kind of noise. Even his humming is off-key…
“What song is that?” 
Sylus barely spared you a glance, “What song?” His fingers worked a microfiber cloth into the metal of his pistol. 
“The one you were just humming.”
He huffed, “Didn’t realize I was humming, sweetie.” Then he removed the cloth to admire his handiwork, “Don’t you recognize it?”
You almost felt bad for saying this but, “...No?” Sylus finally glanced up from his work to shoot you a look. A concerning one.
“Really? You had it on repeat all day, yesterday.” Horror dawned on you at the realization, “The chorus has been stuck in my head since morning…” And then a laugh sputtered from your lips. 
“Oh my god, that sounded nothing like it.” Sylus glared and returned his focus to his pistol with what you could only describe as a pout. 
“What a picky kitten.” You bit your lip to stop the smile threatening to break loose. He was a god awful singer, but the room felt emptier without his noise. Gently, you padded over to where he sat, and invited yourself onto his lap. Despite his mood, a hand wrapped around your waist without hesitation.
“Sing it again.” Sylus’ hold on you tightened, “I think I like your version better.” A soft chuckle left him, and quietly, he hummed once more.
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—♡ Rafayel
Rafayel taps. All. The. Time. Taps his legs, hands, pens, pencils, anything and everything within reach. And he’ll deny the hell out of it when you ask him to stop. “I wasn’t doing anything,” The candies on his phone screen lit up and exploded with color as he scored another combo. Too engrossed in his phone to realize the arm slung around your shoulders was still tapping you. You leaned into him with a huff.
“You’re doing it now.”
Rafayel gave you a sidelong glance, frowning, “I dunno what you’re talking about, cutie.” You suddenly captured his hand to still it, and Rafayel gave you the most scandalized look, “If you wanna hold it that badly, I’m not stopping you.”
“You’re not even aware you’re doing it,” You blinked incredulously, “Are you?”
Rafayel threw his head back and groaned dramatically, “Doing whaaat?” Then he lifted his head to press his forehead against yours and huffed, “Is this your way of telling me to get off my phone?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “You look like a fish up close like this.” Rafayel pulled away to roll his eyes and clicked his phone off.
“Alright, fine, you have my attention.” Then he began tapping his foot, “You know, that’s a little offensive to say to a Lemurian. You could get cancelled for that.”
Your hand drifted to his bouncing knee, and you watched as both your hand and his leg now jumped up and down. “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?!”
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—♡ Xavier
Xavier is always chewing on something, and it is almost always never gum. It’ll be something random, like a straw from a drink he’d long since finished. The strings of his hoodie, a toothpick. Once, it was a plastic tie. He reminded you of a teething puppy; he’d probably chew on wires if you left him alone long enough. Today, though, his chew toy of choice looked a lot like…
“Xavier, is that my pen?” 
He blinked, eyes floating from his comic book to your frown, “Yours…?” His jaw froze mid-chew. 
“Yeah,” You scooted closer on the couch, “the one from my desk at work.” 
A blush crept along his cheekbones, but he didn’t drop the pen like you expected him to, “...Are you sure?”
Your eyes fell to the pen trapped in the corner of his mouth, “The one with little stars on it? Yeah, that’s mine. I thought I lost it at work, why do you have it?”
The comic book shifted in his hands, “I found it, that’s why.” This explanation would be more convincing if he hadn’t shifted his gaze sideways. His blunt fingernails picked nervously at the corner of his book, curling the edges.
“Xavier,”
“Okay, I borrowed it.” You bit back a chuckle, and he guiltily removed the pen from his mouth. It shined with his spit, and the cap bore teeth marks, “You can have it back.”
You couldn’t hide your grimace fast enough, “...Actually, you can keep it.” Xavier merely blinked before bringing the tip back to his mouth. Then a smile curved the corner of his lips.
“My pen now, hm?”
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5sospenguinqueen · 5 months ago
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Pocket Money Pt 2 | Lance Stroll x Reader
Summary: After some time apart, you and Lance realise your love and future mean more than fans' hateful comments
Warnings: Swearing. Sexual innuendos? Hateful fans
Female reader. All pics found on Pinterest.
prev.
F1 Masterlist
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astonmartinf1 just posted
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liked by chloestroll, scottyjames31 and others
astonmartinf1 fighting for points in imola. lance brings it home in P9, securing valuable points for the team #imolagp
5,396 comments
user1 lance stroll domination might bore some people
lance_stroll the car felt good this weekend. let’s keep it up, team
user2 just me or was lance looking a little happier this weekend than he has recently? 
YourUserName wonderful race result
liked by lance_stroll
→ user3 the first social media appearance we’ve had from y/n in weeks and it was in support of lance?!?! what does this mean
user4 does this mean they’re still together?
→ user5 nah he definitely dumped her ass and now she’s just trying to get him back
user6 y/n commented and lance liked it! please tell me they’re back together. most underrated but cutest couple on the grid
user7 @ YourUserName talk about trying too hard. he broke up with you, sweetie. let it go
user8 i know they’re more private but i need them to confirm they’re still together so i can sleep easy
astonmartinf1 @ YourUserName fancy paying us a visit in canada?
liked by YourUserName 
user9 not a bunch of you switching up like you weren’t calling for her head on a pike
→ user10 literally, you guys are probably the reason they broke up but now you’re acting like it’s not what you wanted, and the end of the world
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astonmartinf1 just posted
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liked by YourUserName, lance_stroll and others
astonmartinf1 all ready for race day tagged: lance_stroll, fernandoalo_official, YourUserName
4,889 comments
user11 omg lance looked so happy this weekend and i bet it was because y/n was there
fernandoalo_official y/n looks far better in lance’s helmet
→ YourUserName should put me in his seat next time
→ astonmartinf1 deal
→ lance_stroll my father will hear about this
→ YourUserName okay draco malfoy
chloestroll okay but i think i just fell in love with those eyes
→ scottyjames31 why are you never this publicly obsessed with me
→ chloestroll because you’re not y/n
→ danielricciardo she is the moment
BestFriend do NOT put her in the car. girly barely passed her driving test the second time
→ YourUserName you can shade me in our messages but publicly, you’re supposed to support me
→ lance_stroll you told me you did pass the first time
→ YourUserName no, i told you i tried really hard. and you claim to listen to me
→ lance_stroll i do! 
→ YourUserName it’s okay. i’m still proud of you
→ lance_stroll and i’ll still let you behind the wheel so long as the drive is less than 10 minutes
user12 is this confirmation that they’re back together!!
→ user13 it has to be. not only is she in the paddock but she’s on an official post AND lance commented in response to her
user14 so you’re still trying to tell me she’s NOT a fame whore? she vanishes from social media after being found out as a gold digger to come back on an f1 page
→ user15 seriously, what is your issue? lance looked happier this race than he has in weeks, and he scored some points. there’s obviously only one reason for that
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user1 agreed with @ daddynando. when you search her business, she is literally like second face you see after the ceo. she worked hard and deserves to flaunt it
→ user2 honestly. everyone talks about her being with lance for his money like she’s not loaded herself, and earnt it
→ user3 lance stroll wins for #1 wag because he’s always been so supportive of her and proud 
user4 funny how many of you have switched your opinion since finding out y/n is in charge of running a pretty wealthy company, and has enough money to keep herself comfortable without lance
user5 i also really miss y/n and lance. they were a more lowkey couple but he was always caught in the background of driver clips staring at her
→ user6 i won’t believe in love until they get back together 
→ user9 @ user6 you’re such a hypocrite. you literally have rts from two months ago of hateful tweets about her
user7 i’m so happy other people are finally being supportive of lance and y/n
user8 the way the two of them used to gush about starting a family and growing old together but the internet had to make her feel horrible about being in love 
user9 not that i’m not happy to see all this support for y/nance. i’m just wondering where you were when she was getting death threats?
user10 omg guys, lance just posted! 
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user11 aston martin reposted this as well
→ user12 so did f1
→ user13 and mclaren, redbull and mercedes
→ user14 and danny ric, charles leclerc and a whole bunch of the grid
→ user15 they really said, we’re fed up with all of you
user16 people who have actually met her in the paddock say she’s the nicest person ever so idk why all you keyboard warriors thought you knew better
user17 the grid really said “not our y/n”
user18 anyone else feel like that last sentence was a bit of a threat? 
→ user19 it’s because aston martin’s legal team located one of the women who was sending the most threats and served her 
→ user20 i love that the official F1 website did an article about this because it serves as a warning to others
→ user21 lance stroll will find you lol
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by lance_stroll, danielricciardo and others
YourUserName here’s what you missed on glee 
3,115 comments
user1 omg welcome back. we’ve missed you 
user2 excuse me but all the lance pictures. my favourite f1 couple are back together! 
lance_stroll my pretty girl 💚 but why did you have to post the ice-cream pic?
→ YourUserName but i also posted that hot pic with the chain 🤤
→ lance_stroll i thought we talked about that emoji
→ danielricciardo don’t try and change her
user3 woof woof (i can’t tell which of them i want to sleep with more)
user4 okay but the black shirt and the chain. i’m starting to see what miss y/n sees him in
YourBrother dude, i do not need to see your underwear on this app. please do not post what are clearly post-sex pics
→ YourUserName they were not! we did that the night before. this was me begging him not to leave for a meeting and get back in bed. he declined :( 
→ BestFriend how dare he! 
→ lance_stroll it was an important meeting! 
→ BestFriend and she’s an important person! 
estebanocon at least lance will stop moping now
→ lance_stroll i think i was allowed to mope! the love of my life was sad and in another country 
→ user5 ladies, get a man who simps over you like lance stroll  
chloestroll um, why am i not included in this photo dump? do i mean nothing to you?
→ lance_stroll how many times do i have to tell you that you’re not her favourite stroll
→ YourUserName it’s actually lawrence 
user6 do you know what i like seeing more than happy y/n and lance? no hate comments on y/n’s post. our queen is being respected and loved as she should be 
user7 excuse me, are those wedding pics in the background
→ YourUserName oops
lance_stroll just posted
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liked by alex_albon, fernandoalo_official and others
lance_stroll 💚🤍
4,006 comments
astonmartinf1 everybody stay calm! We are totally normal about this! 
→ user8 admin is all of us 
astonmartinf1 a huge congratulations to the newlyweds but we’re still disappointed that you didn’t have an aston martin themed wedding :( 
→ YourUserName we had an aston martin as our wedding car?
→ astonmartinf1 keep talking
→ user9 not admin acting like they didn't know this prior to y/n spilling on her recent post
YourUserName i love you, my darling husband
→ lance_stroll i love you more, my breathtaking wife. thank you for marrying me
→ user10 get someone who THANKS you for marrying them
danielricciardo what a beautiful day, mate. and what a gorgeous bride 
→ YourUserName no amount of compliments will make me forgive you 
→ danielricciardo i didn’t mean to! i was drunk
→ YourUserName you still kissed my husband
→ lance_stroll you promised you wouldn’t tell the internet! 
→ YourUserName i lied!
→ landonorris this marriage is off to a great start. nice work, ricciardo 
chloestroll have i stopped crying? not really. my baby brother and perfect sister-in-law
→ YourUserName i’m so lucky to call you my sister-in-law. although i think you’d do better as my wife ;)
→ chloestroll there’s still time
→ lance_stroll stop
→ scottyjames31 agreed
user11 i don’t understand how anyone could deny that these two truly love each other. the way they look at each other 
landonorris could you go be ridiculously in love somewhere else?
→ lance_stroll this is my instagram?
user12 omg they still got married on their original date
YourBrother nonna says it’s time for babies now
→ lance_stroll i’m trying my best
→ danielricciardo don’t tell the internet that you’re raw dogging every night
→ YourUserName that’s it. you’re blocked
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
YourUserName just posted
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liked by lance_stroll, georgerussell63 and others
YourUserName say hi to baby stroll
3,421 comments
lance_stroll my amazing family 🥰 y/n, you have given me the best gift by being my wife, and then by being my partner in parenting. i love you 
→ YourUserName why do you insist on making me cry, my heart. i love you and our family more than anything
user13 excuse me but where was the pregnancy announcement!
chloestroll baby and the bear
→ YourUserName baby stroll loves his bobo bear more than anything 
→ chloestroll what can i say, i’m the ultimate gift giver
→ lance_stroll you gave me an old vogue magazine for my birthday last year 
→ chloestroll yes but for your 18th, i got you a hot date who eventually turned into the love of your life so i think i’m off the hook until the end of days 
→ YourUserName i only agreed to it because i thought i would be YOUR hot date @ chloestroll 
→ lance_stroll i have feelings 
user14 we get their wedding and then we get nothing until they announce a whole ass baby 
scottyjames31 am i still banned from the stroll household?
→ lance_stroll idk will you stop bringing red bull baby stuff into my house
→ scottyjames31 but then how will he show that he’s uncle scotty’s #1 supporter
→ danielricciardo and uncle danny’s 
→ lance_stroll because he’s his dad’s #1 supporter 
→ danielricciardo @ scottyjames31 this is uncle erasure 
user15 when lance told us y/n wasn’t at races for the past 5 months because she was swamped at work, what he really meant was she was hiding a baby bump from us
user16 i knew her showing up in a different team hoodie every race was more than just a running joke! 
→ landonorris she wore those because she loves mclaren! she loves us! 
→ YourUserName debatable
→ landonorris i thought being a mum was supposed to make you nicer
→ YourUserName it did but you’re not my child 
user17 i know this is gross but from doing the math, he got her pregnant on their honeymoon
→ user18 faster than he is on track 
user19 um, mr stroll, we weren’t familiar with your game. those back muscles
→ YourUserName they’re what got me pregnant 
→ user20 um, hello mrs stroll. PR might be after you now 
→ astonmartinf1 she’s off the hook for now. we’re kind of hoping for them to make a grid’s worth of babies
→ user21 lawrence stroll ghost wrote this 
→ lance_stroll sounds like we need to get started on baby #2, sweetheart 
→ YourUserName only if you push this one out 
→ lance_stroll deal
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
Hands up if you were shocked by Lance’s contract announcement today 😂 Never saw that coming
Baby Fever Angst Series
F1 Request are open! (They might just take some time)
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backinmyphase · 6 days ago
Text
Not my mother
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Synopsis: As Gojo Satoru's wife you are most of the time alone at home and you have made your peace with that. However a visit from your mother in law results in a pleasant surprise. Well, not for him as he meets your mother.
Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.
Pairing: Gojo x reader, 4300 words Masterlist
Contains: arranged marriage, generational trauma, jujutsu Clans suck, reader's mom is a warning alone, talking about drugging a person, dark implications
A/n: Sorry for the long wait again! This chapter just seemed especially hard to write :') As usual just say if you want to be tagged and feel free to comment any thoughts regarding this post, it always makes my day. Enjoy!
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"Satoru, do you like your family?"
Once in a while there are thoughts that pop up in your head, questions about your husband, that you are just slipping out of your mouth. After all you two didn't really have much time together. Question because of time away from him. So much time.
You sit with him at the breakfast table, the big table now not used anymore, just a little one where you sit opposite of each other. Now you can fully see how he is taken by surprise. How his eyebrows rise. And how his lips...
In the last days you really had strange thoughts.
"Do you?"
You stopped eating for a second, now realizing what kind of question that is. Someone else would think the answer had to be obvious. But when your family is a Clan it seems so strange to talk about it as 'family'.
"I... Do. I think." your voice was nothing more than a whisper.
He looked at you with these eyes that seemed to look right through you. And even though you didn't think you were lying, you didn't know if it was the truth either.
Then he shrugged.
"If I'm being honest, I don't really. I don't really see them as family. They are just people I'm representing." he chews for a bit, but then stops. "You know, they didn't treat me as family either. So I guess I never saw them as it."
He looked up with an almost apologetic look. "Too cold?"
"What? No!" you shook your head. "I'm the one asking. I'm happy with the honest answer."
"And you know," you fidgeted with your ring. The feeling of it cold, heavy. "I get what you mean. In fact I think you described my feelings really well."
He looked at you like always when he didn't really get what you meant but didn't want to ask. But this morning you dropped the topic of family as he had to go on missions and you... Had to get rid of your boredom with other ways.
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
"So I am free for half of the day?" Satoru couldn't believe as he heard the news from Yaga.
"Not really. There's just someone who requested a meeting with you. And you have to go Gojo, I don't want to hear any excuses." Yaga had still that tone like when Gojo was his student. And somehow it was still working.
"Yeah, yeah. When is it?"
"Just read the formula I gave you!" he sighed. "It's in half an hour."
"Okay, okay." Satoru looked back at the formula Yaga gave him, wondering why he had to go to their house of this person for a meeting they requested, but sure.
He was slightly annoyed he couldn't just go home to you.
Since last week the only thing on his mind when he went on missions was how and when he got back to his wife. Even though he wished he had more free time with you, it was calming to just have a regular evening talk with you.
No pressure, no higher-ups. Just talking.
You had such a pretty smile and he was such an idiot to make you not smile so freely before. He couldn't believe how easily you have forgiven him. Because he sure hasn't. Everytime he saw you sleep on the couch when he came back he felt bad. Like he was still not doing enough.
Since when did he feel like he wasn't doing enough?
He still had to learn so much about you. How to make you laugh regularly and what was your favorite food. And how not to make you angry or sad. Because that was something he wanted to avoid by all costs.
He looked at the address and it did seem familiar. But he didn't remember from where. But somewhere in the back of his mind, something was telling him that this seemed like an obvious trap.
But he didn't want to piss of his old teacher.
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
The Gojo mansion was warming up to you. Even though it was often still empty and cold, you did find the garden and library endearing.
But you missed Satoru.
Without him this house still didn't feel like home, no matter how many books you started to read or how many facts Hina told you about the plants in the garden.
Whenever he came back in the evening the time was always passing so fast. Sometimes you just wanted to have a new honeymoon without the pressure. Just him and time. After all, you never went to that restaurant.
But wishing and thinking of what if's wasn't a good pass of the time. You still had to build your own life.
Oftentimes you went into the kitchen to watch the work of the chefs and chat with them, but today you didn't feel like it. You didn't want to admit it but you were bored.
The hours alone at home were eating you up. When you distracted yourself from your anxious thoughts regarding the Clan matter, the boredom came. Maybe you were just not cut out to be a stay at home wife. Or maybe you grew too lazy. Oh, what would your mother say when she would see you complaining? She would eat you up.
You strolled through the mansion alone, wondering again why the big house was so empty. No old pictures of Gojo or anything like that. Why?
And as you went to the garden, you couldn't help but sigh at your lack of tasks and-
"Of course he didn't get a gardener! Even though I have told him for months! Always just a little boy with too much-"
You couldn't move as you looked at the woman who sat between the lilies. Speechless because the last time you saw her was on your wedding day as your mother ranted about her and her son.
Mrs. Gojo had such a strong presence.
Even when she was just ranting about her son.
"Oh my!" her eyes lit up as she spotted you. And even though they didn't have the color of the ones your husband had, they had the same light and crinkle when they were excited.
"How are you doing, sweetheart?" she got up, cleared her very expensive looking dress and slowly strutted towards to you. "I haven't seen you in such a long time!"
"Pleasure meeting you again." you bowed your head a bit, you still had to be careful in the presence of your mother in law. "But I didn't know you would visit today Mrs. Gojo?"
"Oh please drop the formals!" she shook her head and for the first time she really smiled. Like a real sincere smile. "We are both Mrs. Gojo now, aren't we? You can call me Ayaka."
"If you say so Mrs- I mean Ayaka." she nodded approvingly while having an amused glint in her eyes. "Ayaka, I wasn't informed you would come to visit. Is there a something you want to discuss with Satoru? If so he is at work-"
She laughed and shook her head. "Oh I know don't worry. I'm not here for him. I'm tending the garden. Once in a month I come here to make sure the Gojo garden isn't forgotten. The boy seemed to forget his mother the moment she wasn't living here anymore."
"Oh." now as she mentioned it, you never saw anyone in the garden tending the flowers before. You just assumed there was someone who did it, because... Well it was Gojo's garden.
"Do you like it?" Your mother in law pointed at the lila flowers that were blooming in the center of all the flowers. "I planted those Hydrangeas at your wedding day. They seem to bloom very well."
"Oh, yeah. They are very beautiful." It was calming to watch those flowers dance in the wind.
"Do you have fresh tea?" Gojo's mother held her head high, her hands intertwined at waist height as she looked at you. "I would like to drink one with you."
Perplexed you blinked at her. "I think we do. Is there a special occasion?"
"Oh, you know." she gently took your arm, intertwining it with her own as she took steady steps towards the mansion. "I just want to talk with my daughter in law about her and her husband."
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
The mansion, which had the address, wasn't the biggest. But it was big enough Satoru knew it had to be of a Clan.
Now, Meetings with other Clans weren't unusual. In fact they were a remaining part of his childhood. But most of the time the Clan came to him and it was planned weeks prior.
There were no plants outside, no decorations.
Satoru walked with slow, steady steps. He couldn't afford to be caught of guard. And even though this was just a meeting he felt cursed energy from somewhere in the mansion.
He rang and waited.
One. Two. Three.
Should he ring again? Or should he just go home to you-
A maid opened the door, her eyes widening as she saw him. "Gojo Satoru?"
"Yeah?" what was with that reaction? "I was ordered here for a meeting." But in reality no one should order him around-
"Oh yes. But the lady of the house is busy right now." she opened the door far enough for him to step inside. "Let me show you the room of the meeting and serve you tea while you wait."
He didn't want to be here. It felt like a bad horror movie and his gut told him he should tell Yaga that he couldn't attend such meetings. But he didn't want another higher-up at his doorstep, so he did step in.
The mansion had a couple of pictures. People he didn't know looking at him with such stone cold faces. Who would want that kind of picture?
The hallway was long, multiple doors were passed as he followed the maid.
And then there was that door.
He knew. There was the cursed energy he felt. It wasn't a normal amount. It had such a presence, it had to be a curse of some sort. Or a curse user.
No matter what, his gut wanted him to rip the door open and end it.
"Mr. Gojo?" the maid wasn't pleased he stopped in his tracks. No, in fact she looked a bit frightened. "The appointment room is a couple doors down there."
"Is it?" he looked at the wooden door before him and wondered what this 'lady' wanted from him. And why she had this much cursed energy in one of her rooms.
"Then let's keep going."
It wasn't for long, when he followed the maid into a small room. It had a table ready with cups.
"I will serve tea as you are waiting." the maid was already hurrying to get out.
"Wait! I don't need tea right now." she stopped at the doorframe and looked at him.
And she had that eerily smile. "But my lady insists."
With that she turned around and left him alone. What in the world was that? This whole thing was becoming more and more weird with the second he spend here. But he did sat down at the table.
However he didn't touch the tea that was him served.
The room he was in was kinda spooky. It didn't have anything precisely unusual in it, but the atmosphere was killing him.
There were medals and certificates on the walls. Some flowers were put underneath like it was meant to show pride. But if they would really be proud there wouldn't be any dust on these highly things.
He didn't wait for long. But maybe that wouldn't have been so bad.
The door opened and an older woman stepped in, which seemed familiar. Her stern look and cold gaze gave him a shiver. She stepped at the table and sat down on the opposite of him.
"Apologies for my late appearance." she fetched herself a cup of tea. Her cup was decorated with gold which simmered in the light. But behind that shimmer he didn't miss the side eye she gave him. "I wasn't expecting you following an invite."
"What is that supposed to mean?" who did this woman think she was? He was still Satoru Gojo. And normally people respected him for that.
She took a long sip and somehow that made him shut up. She placed her cup carefully on the table and smiled at him. But something about that smile made him uneasy. "You haven't touched your tea, have you Mr. Gojo?"
"No, I haven't." he glanced at his untouched cup. It wasn't as fancy as hers.
"Is the cup offending you?" she seemed to have followed his glance. "If it is, my apologies but in one of our last meetings with the Gojo Clan one of our family cups has been destroyed. Forgive me for being hesitant to give one to the likes of you again."
Oh, this woman knew how to piss someone of. "In one of the last meetings with the Gojo Clan? I can't remember such a meeting."
At that she smiled fully while her eyes somehow became more icy. "You can't, can't you?"
Something wasn't adding up. Satoru had to be at every meeting his Clan had. He was the head of the Clan for a reason. Did he skip a meeting? But then he had to catch up the meeting. So what was he forgetting?
He felt her gaze on him as he tried to remember any solution to this. She was smiling as she watched him frown.
"The meetings with the Gojo Clan were rather a  success, you know? I had hoped to strengthen the relationship of our Clans." she took another sip. "Well, it is still left to be desired."
"I'm sorry," he didn't want to dance around the question any longer. This woman was obviously looking down on him right now and he couldn't stand it. And even though he couldn't place a name to the face, it seemed so strangely familiar. "But have we met before?"
She placed her cup on the table with force. "Well, we did see each other on a rather big occasion, but I am not mad at you for forgetting me."
Something in the room shifted as she stood up and opened the door again. "Shihiro? Our guest hasn't touched his tea. Could you bring another cup and fresh tea, please?"
He heard a muffled voice agreeing and steps running away from the room. "I really don't need any tea."
She sat down again carefully while making sure not to knock something over. "But it is our duty and our sign for hospitality! I insist."
And just like that the tea inside his cup was warm again. His gut was killing him, but under her gaze he did take a small sip out of the cup of tea.
It tasted... Bitter.
"Well, you are probably wondering why I have called you here." she looked slightly satisfied. And for the first time he seemed to remember this woman.
She was the one who gave him that icy look at his wedding. She was the one sawing him leave. The one who tsked at his doing and only raised an eyebrow as he saw her.
"I wanted to talk with my son in law about his wife and their marriage."
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
"Lovely weather, isn't it?"
She was right. The sun was shining and the wind was not too strong. While sitting here on the balcony, you had an amazing view of the garden from above.
"Yeah it is." The tea was a bit warmer and sweeter than the tea you knew and normally drank. You liked it.
Ayaka had talked with the cooks in the kitchen, you didn't know about what but you heard much laughter. Their voices seemed so much louder than before, the whole estate so much more lively with her here.
"I always spent my time in the garden and kitchen when I lived here, you know?" she sighed dreamily. "Especially with that weather."
Her posture was screaming authority. Elegance and experience. However her arms weren't tense, they seemed like they were open.
"Do you like it here?"
There it was. You were ready for this question, ready to calm all her possible worries.
"I do. I'm glad I was so lucky to marry Sat-"
She chuckled and shook her head. "That's not what I meant. Do you like it here?"
She seemed amused at your dumbfounded face. You watched as she took another sip. You looked at the beautiful garden which had so many flowers you adored every day. Hina, who was bringing another teapot with fresh tea.
"I do." carefully, you took your teacup. "It's calming here."
She was watching you as you took another sip. Her small smile never leaving. She leaned a bit forward, her arms bow crossed but somehow still seemed open.
"But.." you placed the teacup on the table. "It's also too calm sometimes."
Hesitant you looked at the older woman sitting in front of you. "Do you know what I mean?"
A pleasant breeze surprised you, the teacups shaking a bit. Ayaka leaned now slowly back again, in her hand her teacup.
"When Satoru was little.." her eyes were locked on her tea. "He always wanted to go outside. He didn't like the mansion, the kitchen or the garden. After he was born I was always kept moving."
She sighed and closed her eyes. She looked like one of these stone statures which were built to admire.
"I didn't want to have it any other way."
There was a silence which followed her words, embracing you and calming your senses.
"I still love to tend the garden and chat in the kitchen. But something inside me was really devastated when my little boy started to leave me alone."
There was something inside her voice. Something that made you feel with her.
"Do you like him?"
You couldn't help but grip your teacup stronger. "He is my husband."
She opened her eyes again, looking at you with such tenderness. "He is."
Your mouth seemed so dry. You sipped on the teacup again hoping it would also give you words to use. But it didn't.
"My marriage was also arranged, you know?" she slightly tilted her head. "The Gojo Clan was trying for decades to get another six eyes and infinity user. That's why my husband and I married."
She fetched herself fresh tea and tried to cool it down. "Our wedding was big. The honeymoon successful and we got the perfect child. Well in the book." she chuckled a bit. "But I never liked my husband."
"He was my acquaintance, nothing more."
She filled your cup too, watching you and waiting for you to answer.
"You were right." you took your teacup again, a small smile stole itself onto your face. "In our first meeting."
She smiled and laughed quietly.
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
"I wasn't informed that my mother in law wanted to speak to me." Satoru never felt so tense before. His hands gripping at each other for dear life. "I was being told that just someone wanted a meeting."
"Yeah, after all I wasn't sure you would even show up." this woman seemed so smug just by simply taking a sip, it drove him mad.
That was your mother.
Oh, he wanted to say so much to her. He had read what this woman had written to you. He had seen how you had sobbed in your sleep and whispered her name. Begging her to listen and stop.
But he didn't want her to go after you for anything he said. You still seemed to be so reliable on your mother.
"What do you want?" he tried to sound as polite as possible, he really did but there was just something that made him see red when he looked at her. Made him see your exhausted face.
She placed her teacup on the table again, her face now with a frown. "Well, my dear son in law," she straightened her position. "It has come to my understanding that you have still not consumed with your wife."
His mouth dried out by the second her words left hers. He couldn't believe how she could just sit there and say-
"Do you feel disgusted by her?"
And mean it unironically.
He couldn't move, just stare at this woman before him. He gripped his teacup realizing his tea was cold again, since he hadn't touched it since his first sip.
She shook her head, her face now looking at him disapproving. "Even if you did, there are solutions for it. I know my daughter isn't the brightest diamond in the jewelry box, but she knows that she should fulfill her duties as your wife."
She took another sip. "There are... Ways to make you feel more attracted to her."
"Stop talking." his teeth had started to grit.
She tsked at him. "I'm just suggesting ways to make this arrangement work. As her mother that is my duty."
"I don't care." he shook his head. "I don't care that you are her mother."
There was no politeness left in his voice. He couldn't bring himself for even a little bit.
"I forbid you from talking about my wife like that."
Her body stiffened, just slightly but enough for him to catch it. She inspected him, her look now cautious. "How dare you-"
She broke off. Her eyes lit up from realization. And then she smiled that eerily smile again.
"I see." she chuckled. A shiver went down his spine. "Does she not want to consume?"
"If so there is the same solution and I could talk with her." she took another loud sip. Her body now completely relaxed as if she wasn't talking about...
"Are you..." he couldn't believe this woman. "Are you seriously suggesting to drug my wife?"
She stared at him for a couple of seconds as if she was taken back by his reaction. Then she smiled again. "She would understand, I'm sure. Anything for the heir."
He stood up. This room, this floor felt like it was burning. No, like he was burning. His infinity unsteady as he was slightly shaking.
"The 'heir' doesn't matter to you. Whatever we are doing doesn't matter to you." he tried to remain a calm voice. "You can drink this bitter tea for the rest of your life for all I care. But don't talk about my wife as if she is just a tool."
She looked up at him, her smile now falling at his words. "I am trying to make this arrangement work, for my daughter-"
"Well, you don't talk about her as if she was your daughter." a scoff left his lips. "Who would suggest drugging their own daughter?"
She stood up. Her eyes now wide and staring at him while her lips were a thin line. "You don't know what a wife has to sacrifice, boy."
"What a mother has to sacrifice."
This woman before him was shaking. But not because of fear he knew that. He just couldn't understand how she was ticking, how a human would say such things.
"Shikabane?" a male voice interrupted the cold atmosphere in the room. The call wasn't loud but still very demanding.
"Coming!" his mother in law called back, her tense shoulders now falling.
She looked at him with many emotions, he could see it in her eyes. But one stuck out. Envy.
"Get out of my house, Satoru Gojo."
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
It was later than usual.
You didn't remember much, since you fell asleep on the couch in the living room shortly after Ayaka left.
She was a nice lady. The conversation with her lasted long into the afternoon, maybe even a bit into the evening. She suggested to come often for a cup of tea and you agreed.
But only if you were informed a couple of days prior.
It was much later than usual. You had slept two to three hours since she left and the kitchen was already closed.
You should go into your room and rest. But you didn't. Because you still wanted to see him.
Your legs were heavy but you still got up and made your way into the garden.
It was cold since it was probably almost night. But it was also refreshing. And under the moonlight the flowers shone in a new kind of way.
Yesterday you wouldn't have sat down on the ground next to these flowers, since you were always told that wasn't how a lady should behave. But today it felt like breathing to just sit down and admire those blooming stars up close.
A breeze made you shiver but it somehow also felt good. Alive.
You looked around, the plants around you dancing in the wind.
Till your gaze fell on him.
He was standing at the door. Leaning on the doorframe while his look remained on you. His arms crossed and a small smile on his lips.
"Are you not cold?" He had that warm look which made you smile back at him.
"I am." You stood up again, making your way towards him. "But I am also really warm."
He shook his head with resignation but still a smile. "Sometimes I can't believe how you... Endure so much."
As you stood before him and caught that uncertainty in his eyes, you thought that maybe this wasn't about coldness.
"Satoru are you okay?"
His smile got a bit smaller. His normally so tall and strong frame seemed out of glass. You were scared to come any closer.
And then he embraced you.
His strong arms pulling you gently towards him and holding onto you for dear life. His chest to your face, you could hear his heartbeat. You put your arms around his warm frame too.
You didn't know what was bothering him and you felt like right now wasn't the moment to ask him. Regardless you were sure to comfort him.
For all he was still your Husband. Your Satoru.
"I am now."
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
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plutoswritingplanet · 9 months ago
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It's A Special Death You Saved (Feyd Rautha x Female!Reader) pt. 2
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a/n: re-uploaded cause tumblr wouldn't show it in the tags for some reason Cross-Posted on AO3
Warnings: Dub-Con, Arranged Marriage, Reader is an Atriedes, Horny Violence, and some angsty family relations (lmao)
Summary: The courting becomes more and more complicated, as both you and the Na-Baron discover something about each other.
Part.1, Part 3. Part 4.(finale)
- He's a beast.
Lady Jessica stops in her tracks, her hands sliding gently across the fabric of your nightgown. It's your Mother, that puts it out on the table next to your bed. But the person, who turns back towards you with an unreadable expression, is most definitely not her. You're talking to a Bene Gesserit sister now. A freezing chill runs up your spine, and you start picking at the skin around your fingernails, a nervous habit you've picked up a long time ago.
- Have you forgotten all that I have taught you? - she asks, turning to face you fully, in the dimly lit space of your bedroom
Subconsciously you retreat into yourself, body leaning further away from her, as if that distance might save you from whatever unpleasant revelation will most likely fall upon you. Lady Jessica takes a deep breath, her lips pulling back into an easy, soothing smile. In the past, you would look for expressions such as this, fish them out for comfort. Now, as you look upon your Mother's face, it all seems to be a trap made specifically for you.
- Men like him, beastly men, are the weakest ones - she explains, taking slow steps towards your hunched form - They need the power and the blood to feel worthy of existing, which makes them easy to manipulate. Keep them pliant under your hands like fresh dough. 
She sits beside you, your mattress dipping under her weight, and your eyes are immediately drawn to your Mother's elegant hands, folded neatly in her lap. You wish you could put your head there. Have her pull your running thoughts out with gentle caresses. A hairbrush lays abandoned on the vanity in front of you, and silently you contemplate, whether you'll ever have the opportunity to have your hair brushed by her. 
- You must find his weakness, what drives him to do what he does. And then control it.
- I don't want to control my husband - the words spill out of your lips, before you have the chance to stop them - I want to love him, to support him. To give him children he'll love, children I'll love. 
Tears fall in heavy waterfalls down your cheeks. You haven't had the luxury of a good cry since your betrothed had arrived, and it feels divine. Letting your body shake and shiver, wrecked by uninhibited sobs, as your Mother looks down upon you, torn between the two roles she must fulfill. 
The more you've thought about your situation, the more hopeless you felt. The Harkonnens will never let you see your family again, you're sure of it. You'll have to deal with all the horrors of Giedi Prime entirely on your own, with no support from your husband, no friends, no family. And your children, as they are sure to come, will be taken away from you. Thrown into the black and white, until there's no love left in them. 
The Emperror is a cruel man, you think. An execution would've been a kinder end. 
- Why did you have to make me a Daughter? - the way your voice breaks in desperation fills you with shame - Why couldn't you give Father another Son?
You know you've overstepped, as soon as the accusatory tone registers in your brain. It is far too late by then, and the hands, which just moments before you've fantasized about running through your hair, grip you tightly. Your Mother's face, a constant image of beauty, twists into something darker, something you don't recognize, and you gasp, as her dull fingernails dig into the skin of your wrist.
- Your Father has Paul - her voice is barely above a whisper, blue eyes stabbing you with the intensity of her gaze - I gave him a son, because he asked for a son. Because I loved him enough to give him one. And he can have him. He can fill him with lessons of male leadership, of short-sighted plans. You. You are my Daughter. You are mine, and I've trained you well enough to conquer this task.
A hopeless pit settles itself in the void of your stomach.
You've always known your destiny would be to marry well, to further House Atreides' legacy. And yet, somehow, there was a sliver of hope, treacherously worming itself into your brain. Your Father had Paul, the perfect heir. Surely, he could send him off for the greater good and leave you to your own devices. Let you find someone to care for you, someone you'd do anything for. The thought sits in the pit of your stomach, turning your insides in shame. Still, you can't shake the sinking feeling, that if the universe was kind, you would've been born a Son. 
Your Mother, or more likely, the Bene Gesserit, stands up, a cold chill filling the space where her body used to sit. She regards you once, a stern, unwavering gaze.
- Wear black tomorrow.
Perhaps, you'll die in your sleep tonight. Perhaps the universe will bring you this small mercy.
*** Perhaps you did die. 
Through the haze of dreams, you can see him. Bare, as the day he was born, body gleaming white in the darkness of your room.
You can't move, can't see his face, and when he approaches, every single one of your muscles tense. You shift under the covers, cold tendrills of fear engulfing you entirely. He comes closer, moves like a wild cat, stands at the foot of your bed. 
The need to run is overwhelming, but your body refuses to listen, as slowly, torturously slowly, he climbs on top of you, defined muscles moving under his skin in a way that reminds you of some cursed demon, rather than a man. His scent fills your nostrils, a mixture of something heady and metalic, and, like a little child scared of the dark, you try to hide your face under the covers. 
This demon version of your betrothed sits down, sculpted thighs squeezing around your sides, and with rising panic you realize, he's slowly choking the life out of you. A fitting end, a welcomed one. Perhaps it would be better to die right now, before you discover what atrocities he plans to commit on your body and mind, after you're wedded. 
Then, his hand reaches behind his back, full lips pull upwards, exposing blackened out teeth. You barely register the glint of his sword, not until he holds it high up, above his hand. You're not allowed a moment to wallow in your confusion, as your future husband brings the weapon down, sinking it with brutal force into your beating heart.
You awake screaming.
***
In the morning, you pull a black tunic over your head, remnants of your dream clinging to you like an unwanted shadow. 
Every move of the silky fabric against your skin feels like a small defeat, and with your head hung low, you make your way towards the dining hall. Truly, you're not hungry, stomach turning and twisting, a steady presence of nerves keeping your body on edge. Your attendance is required however, such are customs, and it is entirely too eaarly for another lecture about your behaviour. 
As you enter the room, your mask of tired indifference slips just for a second, a mixture of fear and anger flickering in, and out of existence.
 There, opposite of your Father you can see him. Your future husband, the love of your miserable, ending life. Slow horror washes over you, as you suddenly realize that this demonic, otherwordly version of him, which visited you in your nightmares is just how he looks. He greets you with a polite inclination of his smooth head, and you consider not showing any outward sign of repulsion, a small victory on your part. Your Mother doesn't think so, but you dodge her sharp eyes in favor of greeting your brother.
It doesn't go unnoticed, the way Feyd Rautha's eyes drink in greedily the sight of you embracing Paul. His gaze lingers on your smile, and he raises his cup to his lips, scrunching his nose ever so slightly at the unfamiliar drink he's been offered. You want to ask, if they have coffee on Giedi Prime, but the question is forcefully swallowed down. You will not talk to this man. He will never know anything more than contempt from you. Curse your Mother's words, you'll fight this battle every day, on your own, if you have to. 
- My Daughter will show you around the training barracks after breakfast - Duke Leto announces, and you freeze with a cup of coffee half-way to your lips.
- Will I? - you ask, trying to control the edge in your voice. 
- Na-Baron has made inquires about a place to train - your Father explains, giving you a meaningful side eye - You'll accompany him. 
The coffee tastes like rot in your mouth, and you place your cup down with a note of finality. You won't look at him, you don't have to. That knowing smirk could be felt through the very particles flowing in the air, every single one laughing at your predicament. 
Despite your best efforts, the breakfast comes to an end, your family slowly rising to attend to their duties. Your Father, ever the cordial man, bids his farewells to the unwelcomed guest. Your Mother does the same, albeit sounding more honest. Paul lingers as long as Lady Jessica allows him, until he is forced to retreat by a slender hand tugging mercilessly on his elbow. A gesture both of you know intimately from your childhoods. 
Before you know it, you're left alone with the pale imitation of a man. He arises slowly from his seat, smoothly making his way towards you, each of his footsteps echoing in the dining room. 
- Shall we, my Lady? 
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see his offered hand, like a white spider living just outside of your vision. With a shudder, you slip out of your chair, trying very hard not to touch him, and failing immediately, when his broad chest nearly pushes you back into your seat. 
He smells nice, your brain betrays you, the scent bringing back images from your night terror, causing an involuntary shiver to run up your spine. With averted gaze, you turn to leave, ignoring his still extended hand. He follows you like a shadow, catching up to you in no time, as you slide through the corridors of the Palace. It's uncomfortable, to say the least, walking with him behind your back. His eyes bear into you, a prickly feeling at the base of your neck making you roll your shoulders.
It follows you, as he follows, right to the very destination. All in blessed silence, a small miracle to save this already dreadful morning.
The men, launging about at the training barracks freeze in their spots, and your heart nearly jumps out of your chest, when Duncan Idaho catches your eyes. His skin has a beautiful, warm tone, highlighted by the morning sun flowing into the room through the windows. You nod, he nods back, an unspoken understanding blooming between the two of you. There could be no suspicion of any closer bond, lest this engagement would be called off. A result, perhaps favorable to you personally, but your family would never live down the shame. And you would never jeopardize Paul's future, no matter how hollow yours looked.
- You have a warrior's body - your betrothed comments, as he inspects the blades laid out on a small table - Do you train here as well?
Small talk, you could do small talk. With a sigh, you tear your gaze away from Duncan, and turn to the Harkonnen, forcing something resembling a polite smile to bloom onto your features. 
- Yes, I do - you answer curtly, eyes falling onto elegant, white fingers, sliding over a shiny metal blade. 
- It is not a common practice here, is it? - he looks at you, eyes gliding over your stature - Women being trained to fight?
Suddenly very much aware of your body, you cross your arms on your chest, hugging yourself tightly. You don't miss the way his gaze seems to linger on the low neckline of your tunic, and with bitterness on your tongue you wonder, has this man ever felt ashamed. 
- Not common, but it does happen - your voice betrays your emotions, a sharp edge settling over your tone, causing the man to arch an eyebrow.
Finally, he settles onto a chosen blade, bringing it up to the light and with laser focus observing the way particles dance on the steel surface. Then, he looks back at you, catching you in the act of observing the prominent, lean muscles on his neck. You ignore the knowing smirk and will your blushing cheeks to suddenly become devoid of color.
They don't, of course, and you scurry to the side of the table, to fiddle with the rest of the weaponry. Your favorite training blade is there, and instinctually, your hand reaches for it. 
- Train with me.
The request catches you off guard, and you shoot him a questioning look, one he deflects with a nonchalant shrug. 
Your muscles flinch, as you drag your hand back from the blade. 
- It would hardly be appropriate - you counter, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your tunic.
To that, he tilts his head, light eyes studying you for a longer moment, until you truly feel uncomfortable under such scrutiny. 
- And suddenly you're worried about what the court says? - he cuts you off, before you have the chance to ask, just what exactly does he mean by that - Perhaps you're too soft to fight me.
- I know what you're doing - you point an accusatory finger at his chest, and the man smiles, blackened teeth peaking between his full lips.
- And what am I doing? - it's hard to ignore the teasing timbre in his voice, and you swallow thickly.
- You're trying to get under my skin.
Shivering under the expected cruel glint in his eye, as another, most likely filthy innuendo purses his lips, you turn to him fully, a serious expression on your features.
- I've seen you fight, Na-Baron - his jaw tightens at the sound of your voice curling around his title - I know you're a force to be reckoned with, I'm not scared to admit that.
He straightens, regards you with furrowed brows for a longer second, until, yet again you start to fidget under his gaze.
- Perhaps then, you're scared you'll hurt me - the mere idea is so preposterous, your head snaps in his direction - If I had known, you liked me that much...
- That is entirely not true, and you know it - you deflect again, although annoyance begins to paint your voice.
Then, his hand shoots out, gripping your arm and pulling you closer. Air seems to thicken around you, as you look up at him, with surprise quickly morphing into outrage. His breath mingles with yours, and you can't seem to look away from his eyes, pupils nearly drowned in the overwhelming blue of his irises.
- Stop hiding, my viper. Fight me.
The command, spoken in a harsh whisper just shy of your lips, turns your insides into molasses. 
His taller form leans down to tower over yours, an intense expression settling over his sharp features. Close to excitement, much too close to desire, even closer to a murderous curiosity. Your throat feels entirely too dry, and before you can stop yourself, you swallow thickly, tongue darting out to lick your lips. His eyes snap almost immediately downwards, and your heart stops beating. You can't see anymore blue in his irises, only black. Darkness covers his eyes reflecting his thoughts, and you feel like you have to flee right now, before something terrible happens to you. 
So you do just that. Ripping yourself away from his closeness, you return to the table, hand finding your chosen blade without really looking. 
Another flash of black teeth, as the Na-Baron realizes what you're doing, and the both of you enable the shields surrounding your bodies. 
The gathered soldiers watch on, as you march towards the center of the room, determination filling every step to the brim. Duncan gives you a look, which you choose to ignore. You can't think about him now, not when you have your honor to defend against this Harkonnen monster of a man. 
Feyd Rautha rolls his shoulders, discards the thin fabric of his dress shirt, and once again you are stricken with his almost god-like physique. The blade looks like an extension of his hand, as he weighs it and slashes the air in front of him. Then, he fixes you with a challenging expression, as if he expects you to do the same, to try and best him at some shameless display.
You decide to keep your clothes on, blade held high, ready to strike. 
He jumps from one leg to another, and immediately an orchestra of alarm bells rings out in your brain. Should a man really be this excited at the prospect of fighting his future wife? Should you be this excited? Questions without answers, and before any of you make a move, another one absent-midedly floats to the surface. Just how much can you hurt each other, before the wedding is concluded? How much you'll inevitably hurt each other after?
The darkness he has brought on the ship with him must be contagious, because despite your better judgement, you smile. A sharp smirk, that makes your eyes look less like a human and more like a wild animal. And he drinks it all in, as he begins to circle you.
You'd never show him your back, never again. He's a tried and true predator, the only instinct he has, is a killer one. A fact you quickly get aquatinted with, as he unleashes a series of lightning fast strikes your way. 
Immediately you realize, that small show of cruelty he organized at your grandfather's theatre was nothing, compared to what he could truly do. And still, you suspect he's holding back, as you barely dodge a nasty stab, right under your ribs. Another one is blocked against your sheild, and before you have a chance to collect yourself, third one sends you back a couple of steps. 
He doesn't let you get away, with confident steps pushing you further and further out of the center of the training floor.
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Duncan Idaho stand up from his place. Thinking back to your last training session, you shudder bitterly. "Never fight in anger" is easy to say, when you're not forced to marry, bed and sunsequently give children to the man you're fighting. 
Panting and sweating, you give Feyd Rautha your all, twirling in place, sliding on your feet. A different kind of choreography, which seems to work surprisingly well, with his almost animalistic force. Gurney taught you how to be powerful, how to land strikes which were as effective, as they were cunning. Duncan, on the other hand, taught you how to dance. So that's what you do.
Finally, you manage to grab at his free hand, locking your feet between his and bringing him closer to your blade. It stops just short of his artery, blocked by his dagger, the clash of metal reverberating through the halls. 
The smirk he gives you is beyond nasty, and forcefully, you push away from him, as if the very idea of skin to skin contact repulsed you. And it does, it truly does, especially now that adrenaline mixed with frustration boils in your head. 
- Again - you snarl his way, assuming your fighting stance.
- As my Lady commands - his voice has a natural growl to it, made even more prominent by the exertion of the fight, and he twists his body into a perversion of a curtsy.
This time you're the one to attack first, ignoring your menthor's words and relying on pure rage to guide your steps. A stab to his thigh, which he deflects with seemingly childish ease. Your tunic slips through his fingers, as you slide under his arm. Out of the corner of your eye you can see his blade, when he hides it into his belt. Confusion hits you suddenly. Was he giving up, why was he hiding his weapon? None of the questions get answered, as a foot curls itself around your ankle.
Your balance leaves you with a gasp of surprise, and soon, your back is on the floor, Feyd Rautha following closely behind. Your heated gaze meets his, as one hand wrenches the blade from your grasp and pins both your arms above your head. The other one supports his weight, as he hovers above you, light bleeding behind him in an unfitting image of a halo. 
Your chest heaves, sweat rolling down your collarbones, and the Harkonnen doesn't even try to hide the way his gaze follows a stray drop of salt, as it disappears between your breasts. 
- You fought well - he complements in a hushed tone, and you writhe desperately under his body.
The night terror rears its ugly head again, as you feel his tighs press onto your sides, almost as if he wants to shape your flesh into the imprint of his body.
- I think I prefer you like this - he whispers, face coming closer to the exposed column of your neck - You belong under me. 
That's what does it. Your face twists into an expression of equal parts disgust, and fury. You won't give him this victory, you'd rather die. Legs tangle themselves around his calves, and you use all your strength fueled by the burning need to fucking hurt him. 
The world spins, two bodies rolling on the floor, and suddenly you're on top of him, legs biting into his hip bones. While one hand supports your weight on his naked shoulder, the other finds the dagger hidden in his belt. The surprised gasp, which leaves his lips feels like music to your ears, and you don't even try to fight the awful smirk splitting your mouth.
The shield on his neck glows an angry red, as you press the tip of the blade down, right under his bobbing Adam's apple. He swallows, for just a second letting you see the mask of self confidence slip. He has quite long eyelashes, you notice, as his eyelids flutter, a low hum reverbating through his chest. Eyes that are neither blue nor completely black drink in the sight of you. The halo of your hair, the snarl on your lips, the curve of your waist, where one of his hands settle. 
Missing all of this, too enraptured by your own fury, you push the blade further down until it pricks his alabaster skin. He hisses through his blackened teeth and you want more, you want him to scream. A thin streak of red begins to flow down his neck, and God help you, it looks like art. 
His grip on your waist tightens, all five fingers digging into your flesh through the thin tunic. Feyd Rautha bares his teeth at you in a cruel smile, one that makes you question whether you're the one in control.
And then his hips roll upwards. 
A barely noticable movement, easily mistaken for a spasm of the muscles, but you know better. You can read it all from his expression, his pupils blown wide, the quickened breaths of air slipping past his lips. From the quickly hardening length pressing against your inner thigh. 
Your stomach flutters with a well known feeling, and that terrifies you more than any pain-motivated erection ever could. Because he sees it, he sees the beginning flames of desire taking root in your center, and the realization looks like ecstasy on his face. Humiliation washes through you, fills you completely. There is no awkward blush on your face, no. All you feel is white, freezing terror, as all your defences seem to crumble all at once.
Like a scared animal, you're off of him in a split-second, and he doesn't chase you, as you all but run from the training barracks. Doesn't have to, he already has everything he needs. 
1K notes · View notes
wonysugar · 4 months ago
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wonder why i’m bitter | julie han
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♫⋆。♪ ₊˚♬ ゚. casual — chappell roan
synopsis : friends don’t act like this, you would know that better than anyone else.
pairing : non-idol!julie x fem!reader
genre : smut, angst, smutty angst, if you will! heavy on the angst though sorry.
tags : they were roommates,,, making out, marking, implied possessiveness, implied jealousy, anal rimming (heyyy), strap-on sex, vaginal penetration, cunnilingus, julie is bent ova, and YESS WHO SAID BACKSHOTS, arguing, topsub!femreader, bottomdom!julie, frequent mentions of sexuality, praise kink, cheating?? could you call this cheating,, one singular l-bomb,,, yikesss
warnings : none..? i guess apart from the obvious content warnings here (angst and smut) there’s some underlying internal homophobia themes?? but i don’t think it’s that bad tbh IDK BE WARNED JUST IN CASE
word count : 3,1k
a/n : haiii!! i’m finally posting this draft OUHH it went through so many changes, like for example THE TITLEE?? i was gonna make the title be a lyric to ‘goodluck, babe!’ by chappell roan since i originally based the fic on that but i ended up listening to casual instead and went woaahh,, this fits so much more what the hell?!? but yeahh i think i’m happy with how it turned out! :’) i hope you guys can say the sameedckem
ALSO! first time writing anything involving anal,, while yes i do talk about it often (ahem we all know,,) i was incredibly nervous in the process and this definitely made me step out of my comfort zone, hope it isn’t too apparent in this ;; but yeah, to stop rambling, thank you for reading!! i hope you like itt! :]]
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“so…” julie’s friend makes a motion between the two of you with a raised eyebrow, wearing a curious smile. “what exactly are you two?” they ask. you thought about it for a few moments, theoretically, you two are roommates, friends at most. but, if anything, you’re more like a couple behind closed doors. 
you shrug, thinking nothing of it, “i guess we’re kind of like—“
“we’re just friends.” she places, wearing a polite smile at the familiar in front of her before you could even think about the rest of your sentence. when you turn to look at her, she’s avoiding your gaze, already familiar with the type of expression you’re wearing. 
it’s the face you always make when she pushes you away like this.
turning back to her friend, you nod slightly, “yeah. we’re friends.” trying your hardest not to let your dejection show through your smile. 
maybe it’s all just in your imagination, perhaps you guys were never even close to being a ‘thing’ and you were the one who thought too much into it. but alas; no matter from which angle you looked at it, the way she displayed any ounce of affection towards you would always make you overthink what you two were exactly. anything she’d do in the comfort of your own apartment with you was never close to anything she’d do in public, in front of the eyes of everyone walking by. she always acts like she barely knows you whenever she is surrounded by people, whether she knows them or not.
you think about it often.
you think about her often.
you asked yourself, do you even like her like that? well, she’s pretty chill, smart, witty and funny. she’s also beautiful, and one hell of a tease, that much is obvious, you’ve had sex with her numerous times in the past, so sexual attraction is out of the question; you already knew the answer to that. the better question probably was; does she even like you like that?
“you done with them?” says julie, referring to the pile of kitchenware you guys left from last night on the counter as she hugs you from behind and rests her head on your shoulder, her arms wrapping all around your waist and watching you. you, on the other hand, were taken by surprise by the sudden display of affection, so much so that you lost your original train of thought. as much as you knew that she liked physical touch, it always did surprise you whenever you randomly felt her skin come in contact with yours throughout the day. getting quickly accustomed to the feeling of her lips kissing your shoulder, you hummed in response, washing and scrubbing the plate with the soaped-up sponge you were holding.
“almost.” 
she whines in an exaggerated manner, “hurry uppp..” lightly tapping on your stomach and resting her head on your shoulder, before adding, “i miss you.”
you giggle, putting away the plate you were now done washing, quickly grabbing another dirty one, “i’m right here, though?”
“no like,” she left another kiss on your shoulder, “i miss you.” 
you smirked, getting progressively more and more amused by the girl’s foreign, yet familiar behavior towards you, feeling her embrace you even tighter.
“oh yeah? well in that case, i miss you too, julie.”
you knew exactly what the girl in question meant by ‘i miss you’ and you would’ve teased her further if it weren’t for how impatient she was getting, despite how cute it was. her heavily annoyed sighs giving it away, despite those also being sprinkled with a tiny bit of humor. 
“come onn, don’t play dumb with me, smartass.”
so, you pushed the oblivious act aside and obliged, setting the plate down before facing her.
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your lips danced in sync with hers as you carried her to your bed. once you got there, you gently sat her down on the edge of the mattress, lips still intertwined whilst her hands glided along the curves of your body, tracing circles with the tip of her index finger on your soft skin. 
you didn’t waste any time in laying her down moments later,, your mouth now eagerly roaming her neck and collarbone and leaving kisses down along her body, successfully marking it up. listening to her quiet hums, you proceeded to slide down her sweatpants, your hands tugging on the waistband.
now left in only her panties, you allowed your fingers to glide over the damp spot in between her legs, teasing the clothed entrance and taking in all of her reactions all at once. 
looking at you through the light brown hair that fell perfectly on her face with hooded eyes and slightly upturned eyebrows, she whispered in a low, husky and raspy tone, “see, baby? see how wet i am for you?”
now, julie had this certain ability to turn even the most confident person alive on this earth into a nervous wreck.
you were, obviously, no exception from her spells. if anything, you, y/n, were a prime example.
you slowly nodded at her words, entranced, feeling yourself fall more and more at her mercy with each second that passed. that earned a smirk from her, putting her hand atop yours, before continuing, “you’re gonna be good and do something about it, right?” 
you nodded once again, this time more eager. 
“words, darling.” she whispered.
“yes,” you muttered in response, a mix of nervousness and eagerness taking over all five of your senses, “o-of course i will.”
she hummed, perfectly content with your adorable answer, before pulling you back into a hungry kiss for another long, pleasant while. that is, until she added something else between kisses, something that made you shudder.
“get the strap.” 
immediately reaching for the drawer next to your bed upon hearing those words, lips still connected to hers, you obeyed and pulled the cabinet open, quickly pulling out the phallic silicone object residing in it as well as the harness, too impatient to feel even embarrassed about the sudden action. 
it didn’t take long before the harness was tight around your hips, the brunette bent over in front of you at the edge of the bed with her panties pulled down to her thighs. you ravished in the sight; her perfect pink pussy sitting before you, slick and wet with desire, begging for you to finally please it properly, practically throbbing in anticipation. who were you to deny her of such pleasure? 
you traced your index finger along her slit, your digit comfortably nestled in between her slippery folds as it slowly teased the entrance. 
rewarded by the sweet sounds coming out of her, you wasted no more time and slowly leaned into her core, giving a long swipe of the tongue to her pussy.
“ohh shitt..” overhearing her moans, you smiled against her as you were now making out with her swollen cunt, intending to taste every drop of her slick, not wasting a single one. your lips circled around her bundle of nerves, giving it small and gentle sucks whilst one of your hands massaged her ass.
subconsciously, julie’s back arched with each movement that your tongue made inside her, her head hung low on the bed as she whimpered filthy praises, her sounds just slightly muffled from the white bedsheet she had over her mouth. 
you heard them, though. 
thank god you heard them.
after a long while of giving more than endless attention to her pussy, you felt your mouth move upwards by itself, driven by the pure desire to make her feel even better than she already was. 
your tongue quickly made its way to her ass, roaming and dancing around her rim, which immediately earned a sharp gasp from her part. you’ve never made it a habit to eat julie’s ass, but whenever you did? it was always enough to cloud your brain with pure, raw want, and it always seemed to catch her pleasantly off-guard, since you’d always do it without any warning. 
you attempted to relax her again by tracing slow circles around her hole with your muscle, before inserting it fully, which you could only assume worked, since you could hear her whines get longer and louder. “fuckk yes baby..” she shamelessly moaned, this time more audibly due to her raising her head up and looking back at you as best as she possibly could, “that’s it, such a sweet girl for me— ah..“ 
using one of your hands, you made sure to thoroughly stimulate her clit, rubbing circles around it and even going as far as to inserting two fingers inside her dripping cunt with your other hand in the process, all whilst the muscle in your mouth flicked way within her, drilling and wriggling as you hummed against her. 
after what felt like hours of you messily rimming her, hours of her pushing herself further onto your mouth, practically fucking herself on you, you figured it was finally time to give her what’d she been wanting ever since she came up behind you in the kitchen.
pulling your fingers out and standing back up, you lined up your strap-on to her aching core, pressing the head against it before slowly inserting its entire length inside of her. 
she let out a groan at the feeling of being penetrated, which progressively turned into longer and more suggestive sounds. it all sounded like music to your ears, it only made you want to please her more.
you reached for her hand, grabbing it upon contact. she squeezed yours with just as much force in return, pleasure visibly taking over her senses. it didn’t take long for you to be full on thrusting into her, either, feeling her walls clench around your fake cock as she babbled praises. 
it was a small gesture, sure, but it made you feel things you weren’t quite certain on how to label.
“such a good girl for me—“ was what she let out, a loud moan escaping her agape mouth whilst you continued pounding her, faster with each second that passed. “f-fuck y/n i love you—“
you saw her lose herself under you, you watched in… admiration? infatuation? whatever it was, you thought she looked mesmerizing, especially with how her brown long hair fell all over the place, how perfect she sounded, how perfect she looked.
how perfect she was.
the words “i love you” resonated in your head. 
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“who’s eric?” you ask her, having thrown glances at her phone that was charging on the kitchen counter whilst washing a plate, the singular one you had left untouched due to being… distracted. 
you finished washing it, then turned around, now met with a surprised julie, clothed in a pair of booty shorts and a white tank top, she was fresh out of the shower, towel drying her hair. that is, until she unexpectedly heard you speak that name, her eyes immediately darting between you and the phone, greeted by that man’s contact name and picture on the latter, an incoming phone call from his part. 
“a guy?” she says back, in her usual sarcastic yet gentle and quiet tone, “thought that was obvious enough—“
jealousy and inexplicable possessiveness flooded your senses; you knew most of her friends, but, you had no idea who this ‘eric’ dude was, and that especially ate at you. why was he calling her, on a random weekday at like, 4 pm? you had checked the clock hanging on the wall to confirm the time.
“well yeah but, i don’t think i know an eric.” you stated, wary of what the girl before you was gonna say, “who is he?”
“…i just told you, some dude. i met him on campus and we just exchanged contacts after he complimented me, a while ago.” she replied, slight annoyance cracking through the facade of the joking expression she wore. she ran her dominant hand through her messy and wet hair, causing it to fall back perfectly on the side of her face and her exposed shoulders. 
she added, “sure, he makes it very clear he wants to hook up with me, but that’s all it’ll ever be i think, he’s not the type of guy you’d wanna date seriously. why do you ask—“ 
“no reason.” you cut her off, cold and dry.
she furrowed her eyebrows, the previous annoyance being more and more apparent, this time only paired with confusion. “…what?” 
“so this is completely normal for you? like, you guys hook up and call each other sometimes and you’re just casually telling me about it? what, does he take you out on dates too?” 
“what are you, my girlfriend or something?” she scoffed, bitter and defensive, gently throwing the towel on the couch in close proximity to her, “and what if he does, why’s it such a big deal to you?” 
why is it such a big deal to me?
why is it such a big deal to me?
and before you know it, you’re quickly matching her tone. “i simply don’t understand how you could tell me something so casually, especially right after we—“
“listen, let’s get this straight.” she says to you, “i know that just because you and i fuck sometimes you’re convinced that it’s gotta mean something, that we’re something, but we aren’t. it doesn’t fucking mean shit to either of us and you know that very well. it’s all in good fun; i don’t belong to you, y/n, and i never will.” 
“it’s not about that?” you walked closer to her as you justified, trying to get your point across, “i’m not saying that you belong to me julie i’m just trying to say that—“
her stare pierces right through you as she cuts you off, and you could’ve sworn you noticed her eyes being glossy. her eyebrows furrowed in anger at you, she added on, “who i date isn’t your business. we’re just friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be, end of discussion. don’t try to turn our friendship into something it isn’t.” 
friends?
“so now i’m the crazy one for not liking the fact that you’re talking to that dude?” you eventually yelled back. you didn’t even notice her grabbing her things as you talked, ready to head out, despite her hair still being wet from the recent shower. you, however, noticed how she took her still ringing phone and put on her favorite puffy jacket, her soft hand’s acrylic nails digging and clutching onto the mentioned cellular device as you rambled on and on, irritated beyond comprehension. 
“we’re not fucking dating y/n, it’s all casual, i.. i’m not even into girls like that—” she asserted herself, trying her absolute hardest to sound as convincing as possible. you heard it, though, you heard that little twinge of doubt and guilt in her voice. it’s almost like she, herself, didn’t believe whatever nonsense was coming out of her mouth. 
how funny was it to watch her say that all whilst having the fresh hickeys you left on her neck and collarbone not even a few hours ago?
perhaps eric will notice them, too.
perhaps with that, he’ll realize how good you treat her, how he’ll never be able to do it like you do.
how he’ll never be able to make her feel as good as you do.
“sure, you aren’t.” you scoffed at her words, before proceeding to add on, “since you swear you aren’t, how about you stop acting like you are? you know, instead of giving me shit for getting upset.” 
“sorry?—“ she laughed bitterly, those words cut deep.
let me talk, you thought, let me place a damn word.
you continued, “no, seriously! you always do this julie, you always make me feel like i’m fucking insane for seeing it the way it is, for the way i see us. you’re convinced that there’s nothing between us, that we’re just friends, yet friends don’t randomly kiss me throughout the day for whatever reason, do they? they don’t fuck me and tell me that they love me in the process, do they?” as you spoke, she avoided your gaze and walked right past you, heading straight for the front door.
that’s when you recalled a certain moment, “sure, why not, let’s say, for your sake, that completely normal friends do fuck sometimes; they don’t buy you stupid lovey-dovey bullshit on valentine’s day and drive you to the middle of nowhere to stargaze, they do not take you out at night and take every opportunity to kiss you in public whenever nobody’s looking, they don’t fucking say they love you while you’re deep inside them— i mean for fuck’s sake julie do you hear yourself??”
she stopped in her tracks in front of the door, her hand resting on the doorknob. she hates it when you read her like a book, she hates it when you call her out on being the way she acts with you, she hates it when you stare at her like that— she fucking hates you. she fucking hates you for making her feel the way she does, for making her question everything about herself, she hates herself for thinking about you whenever she’s with him—
she let out a noise, something in between a sob and a laugh, before looking back at you with tear-filled eyes, she stared at you, up and down. her eyebrows twitching slightly, she then set her eyes on the ground and bit her lip in what seems to be frustration, frustration aimed both at you and herself.
“if i knew it was gonna be like this, i would’ve never done anything with you to begin with.” her voice was shaky.
you watched her figure as she turned the doorknob and slammed the door on you, with a loud clack. just like that, the apartment was empty, silent and once again, peaceful.
she’d be back, of course, whether she decides to sleep somewhere else and come back the next day or sneak back in here in the middle of the night on this same day, she always comes back after a fight. still, despite knowing that, you couldn’t help but feel like drowning in your own guilt, as this argument wasn’t like any other other. her pained expression still vivid in your memory and terrorizing you, you were afraid that you might never see her again after that.
that was pure dramatization, however.
the only thing that occupied the deafening silence of the room was the muffled sound of julie sniffling and being on the phone with who you assumed to be that boy, already planning to meet up. then, you could’ve sworn you heard the name “eric?” being pronounced as it progressively faded in the distance as she walked away, basically confirming your theory. 
that’s all that filled your house and your clouded mind.
that, and the sound of your pathetic sobbing.
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girllblogging777 · 4 months ago
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𝑈𝑁𝑇𝑂𝑈𝐶𝐻𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚
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↳ mattheo riddle x fem!reader (cousin’s best friend)
↳ word count : 0,6k
𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 : mattheo riddle has never done feelings, but that was until draco’s french cousin transferred from beauxbatons
✩✩✩✩
you were “untouchable”. that’s what everyone thought. that’s what everyone said. the first word pronounced when someone mentioned you. the “mysterious french girl” the “exchange student from beauxbatons” and most of all “draco malfoy’s cousin”. you couldn’t go anywhere in this school without hearing those words. everyone knew better when it came to daring looking your way or crossing your path.
as mean and cold as he looked, your cousin draco had a habit of being quite overprotective when it came to you. since you had transferred to hogwarts a couple of months ago, you had never been seen without him and his friends. the slytherin boys all had quite the reputation in this school, and ever since draco had introduced you to them, you knew the other students would leave you alone.
however, the “untouchable” rule came to your cousin’s friends too. they knew better than that, and to be honest you didn’t care much. enzo was caring, blaise was loyal, theo was compassionate, but what you and them had was purely platonic. the only person to whom that rule didn’t apply was the one and only mattheo riddle. the captivating brunette had been draco’s ride or die since first year and unfortunately for you, that meant you had to spend a lot of time together. but for some reason, the boy always seemed to be avoiding you. it wasn’t obvious at first but you had started to notice it in the little things, like when he’d leave the great hall everytime you sat at their table or go for a cigarette break when you approached the boys at a party. “what did i do to make him hate me ?” you often thought. “he doesn’t even know me…”
you always ended up brushing it off by talking and joking with the other guys, who unlike mattheo, were always here for you. what you didn’t know was that the dark lord’s son didn’t hate you, he just hated what you made him feel. the way his heart fluttered when you were around was nothing but platonic, wich is why he always felt like bolting when you approached him.
but what could he do ? you were breathtakingly beautiful. hell, captivating even. the way your hair was always perfectly falling around your face like an angel. how you made the cutest sound when you laughed at his friends’ jokes. and that sweet accent of yours didn’t help. every word that rolled out of your tongue made him lose his mind. the minute you had walked inside the great hall back in september, he knew he was done for. “they weren’t lying when they said french people were attractive”. imagine what he felt when right after being sorted into slytherin, you ran into draco’s arms. did his best friend have a girlfriend ? how could he have missed that ? he was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard “meet my cousin, y/n y/l/n”. and that’s when he realised the mess he was in.
mattheo riddle wasn’t known to be a romantic guy, he didn’t do feelings. the only times he was seen with girls were during drunk make out sessions at parties, or quickies in broom closets when he needed some relief. all his life, he had stayed away from love and its problems. the “untouchable” girl was the compete opposite. you were a hopeless romantic, saving yourself for the perfect romance you had read and dreamt about ever since you were little. and most of all, you were his best friend’s little cousin. he knew he should’ve stayed away from you, and he really tried.
but everything changed after that one time…
✩✩✩✩
a/n : this is my first time writing so please give me some feedback !!! also please like, comment and reblog, i’m taking requests (tell me if you wanna be tagged in my posts <3)
@pizzaapeteer @tateshifts @iris-qt @deadghosy @mattheosdior @sadnymi
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starlost97 · 10 months ago
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— roman empire.
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summary: You decided to playfully call Oscar a "pretty boy".
tags: fluff, Oscar Piastri is in fact a pretty boy, Lando Norris is a nuisance (in a funny way), f!reader.
characters: Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris.
warnings: two uses of Y/N. I'm so sorry.
a/n: I just love writing Lando and Oscar rambling to each other about their crushes is so fun :)) also, next one will be a Jenson Button one and after that I'll post another Oscar Piastri one :) AND THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED ON THE POLL!
word count: 355.
requested?: yes! by a friend.
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Oscar felt like any time he felt happy before the current moment was a farce.
He believed that nothing that had ever happened to him could ever match the feeling of being called “baby” by you.
“No, and she said it so nicely too? Like, it was so natural.” Oscar said as he rambled about the moment with Lando. “I just gave her my jacket and she said ‘thank you, baby’ like it was the most normal thing ever”
“I mean, it’s not like she could guess that this would become your Roman Empire, right?” Lando said, laughing a bit.
“It’s not my Roman Empire. Don’t exaggerate it.” Oscar mumbled, and Lando raised his eyebrows.
“Oscar, you’ve been talking nonstop about it since midday. It’s almost four o’clock.” Lando said, crossing his arms. “At this point…”
Oscar didn’t hear what Lando said. It was probably some mockery, but it didn’t matter when you entered his line of sight.
“How can she look so good in red? Such a pretty girl.” He muttered, making Lando frown. He followed Oscar’s eyes and found you, that wore a red sweater over a black skirt.
“Hey, Y/N! Come here!” Lando called, receiving a light punch in the arm by Oscar.
“What are you doing?” He asked, whispering.
“Y/N, Oscar loved your sweater. He was just telling me all about it! What were your words…” Lando said, snapping his fingers, acting as if he was trying to remember it. “You called her something, what was it, Oscar?”
Oscar felt his whole face reddening, but still, somehow, he mustered up the courage to say it.
“Pretty girl.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.
You smiled, tilting your head and leaning towards Oscar, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you, pretty boy.” You said, almost whispering the last part, winking to Oscar before walking away.
The silence settled in between the two McLaren drivers, and Lando was clearly holding back his laughter, waiting until you were far enough away so you wouldn’t hear them.
“I’m sorry, I was a bit ahead of myself. This is your Roman Empire.”
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w2soneshots · 4 months ago
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Back off mate -W2S
words: 0.6k+
warnings: angst, jealousy, possessive Harry, argument, alcohol consumption.
summary: while playing pub golf with the boys someone tries to flirt with you, that leads Harry to become quite jealous.
notes: hello my babies! Here’s the request🫶🏼. I know that Harry isn’t great with confrontation so there isn’t much of that in this. I hope you enjoy!!🤗💗
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Liked by chrismd, faithloisak and 432,908 others
y/username: so much beer
Tagged: @wroetoshaw @chrismd
-comments-
wroetoshaw: rethinking my life decisions in that second pic
georgeclarkey: I so drunkk rn🍻
-> chrismd: we can tell mate
y/nfanpage21: uhm that outfit❤️‍🔥
user96813305: I love this post sm😭🫶🏼
Tonight me, Harry, Chris and George are playing pub golf. Some others were going to join us but they cancelled lat minute so it's just us four. I got ready and we left our apartment at seven o'clock. George and Chris were already in the taxi when we got in and it took us to the first pub.
After quite a few drinks and travelling to three different pubs we were all on pretty much the same points. I was quite drunk but Harry seemed to remain just slightly tipsy. As we entered our fourth bar I spotted a pool table. "Oh my god! We should play, yeah let's play. Come on!" I dragged Harry over to the table by his wrist and the other boys followed close behind.
Just as we began playing a group of a few guys walked up to us and watched as I completely missed the white ball. Harry chuckled. "Do you need help darlin'?" One of the men asked, coming towards me. Since I was so drunk I didn't even think about the fact he was most likely flirting so I agreed.
Harry quickly glanced at the boys and then back to the man who now stood beside me, his hands on mine, helping me to push the ball into the net. A large smile spread across my face as I cheered in excitement.
I glanced over to Harry and immediately my smile fell from my face. He looked at me with clenched teeth as his jaw ticked, eyes boring into mine.
The entire vibe changed. Harry didn't move. Chris and George walked up to the guy and told him firmly to "back off mate." I stepped towards Harry, my arm reaching out for him but he stepped back and made a b-line for the pub door. Suddenly I felt very sober as I looked back to the boys, they just sighed.
I followed after Harry and found him leaning against the brick wall. He didn't look at me. "I'm sorry." I told him quietly. He didn't move. It was painfully quiet, the only sounds being drunk people walking around and the odd car driving by. "I would never- you know I-" "I think we should talk tomorrow. I need sleep." He interrupted me, pushing himself off the wall.
We left in a taxi not long after and I text the boys informing them that we were going home. We didn't say a word to each other until we got inside our apartment. Harry took his shirt off then lay on the couch, grabbing the blanket that rested on the back of the sofa and placing it over himself.
"You're not coming to bed?" I asked. "No." He said plainly. I slowly took in a shaky breath then went to bed myself, deciding not to push him any further.
The next morning I woke with a banging headache. I shuffled into the kitchen but stopped in my tracks when I saw Harry sat on the couch scrolling through his phone. Suddenly last night's events flooded my mind.
I walked over to the couch and sat down. He glanced at me. "You know I'd never cheat on you. I love you more than anything. I was really drunk last night and wasn't thinking about the fact that guy was flirting. I'm sorry Harry." I sincerely apologised. He put his phone down and moved all of his attention to me.
"I know. It just really pissed me off. The way that- dick looked at you I-" his eyes flashed with anger then closed as he calmed himself down. I nodded. "I can't lose you." He whispered. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye. I pulled him into a tight hug and he held onto me as if I was going to disappear "You won't. I promise."
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year ago
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TEXTBOOK CITATIONS ON IMMORAL SEX | S. GETOU ft. F. TOJI
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✮ tags ; porn no plot, afab + fem!reader (good girl, little girl once sarcastically by toji, pretty), mild degradation (dirty girl, a bitch in heat), professor!getou + security guard!toji, dubcon, imbalanced power dynamics, age gaps(10+ years), mild coercion / blackmail, spit play, wet ‘n messy sex, face-fucking, oral (f +m!recieving), spanking, restraints, dirty talk, creampie / unprotected sex, 18+
✮ wc ; 10.6k
✮ synopsis ; You’re willing to do anything to pass your intro course. Whatever it takes. No cost is too high.
✮ a /n ; a comm for the beloved @fushironi !!! thank you for commissioning me and letting me post your work. if anyone is interested in a commission i will be reopening them at some point this month hopefully
A SIDE NOTE: THIS IS VERY CONSENSUAL!! but the relationship is inherently unethical so the dubcon tag is there. and this is. just smut. no plot no brain. just porn.
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You're failing ethics. 
You're failing ethics and failing it badly. 
You refuse to take all of the blame for your failures. Some of it is your fault, but most of it is the fault of your good-for-nothing academic advisor. You're not sure what they get paid for, since it seems like there's an elaborate prank going on between staff and you're the only one not in on the joke. In what universe is it possible, plausible - that an individual could get paid for doing everything but their job? 
Apparently this one. But whatever. 
In your last semester of university, on the edge of graduating and totally on the right track - you're informed that you're not going to be able to graduate in the expected time frame because you are missing a single course. You learn this information about two days before registrations close, which means all the meaningful classes contributing to your major are booked and busy. Everything is full, and everything that isn't doesn't contribute to your degree. As in, even if you took it - it wouldn't give you what you need to graduate. 
After a full-blown mental break, a long night crying yourself to sleep in your dorm, and an egregious amount of begging - you managed to snag yourself a class. It wasn't ideal by any stretch of the imagination, and it did put quite the strain on your schedule. Straight out of your 8am lab - you had to speed walk to the other end of campus and make sure you made it to lecture. The lecture time itself was an hour and twenty minutes, attendance mandatory, twice a week - which meant you had to delay lunch again till afterwards and learn on empty fumes till 1 pm. 
Still, better than not graduating at all. 
You'd hoped (expected?) that the course itself would be about average in coursework. For one, it's an intro class. Intro to Ethics or PHIL-2467, with Professor Getou Suguru. Secondly, the actual listed coursework seems simple enough. Discussion boards, reading analysis, and a few papers made up for most of the grade. The expectations were outlined as clearly as they could be. 
You didn't really know anything about Professor Getou at the time, only that his ratemyprofessor described him as somewhat strict but mostly good. 
In any case, you'd consider yourself lucky. And in an effort not to freak out about your circumstances, you'd practically chanted to yourself each night the same mantra. Everything was going to be fine. You've taken nearly 120 hours of coursework, and a little extra time won't kill you. At the start of the semester, you fully believed it too. Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and utterly naive.
How could a single course torment you like this? You hadn't the faintest clue. At first, it struck you as odd that the course felt as difficult to grasp as it did. The readings were complex and extremely long but always said a lot of nothing. Much of your grade was dependent not only on assigned work but participation and discussion. The paper criteria was only simple on the surface, but proved to be too lengthy to comprehend and too difficult to fulfill. 
Long story short, the class was kicking your ass. And the ass-kicking slowly progressed into a failure so bad it was laughable. You're in your final year, and that means taking a lot of difficult and specified courses in relation to your major. You were at the point where your classmates were starting to thin out, and you were seeing the same group of people you had as a freshman. As far as prioritizing goes, a 3-credit hour course that isn't technically meaningful to you falls to the very bottom of your priorities. You're more concerned with things like job-hunting and finishing your capstone and all the stuff related to your actual career. 
So you've been half-assing all the papers and exams, falling asleep in class, and lowkey straight up ignoring the weekly discussion boards. 
However, above everything else, the worst part of your class is your professor. Professor Getou Suguru. PhD in Comparative Ethics with a Masters in Cognitive Science. 
You didn't really have a chance to speak with any of your friends about Professor Getou, despite it being in your best interest - because you only knew you had the class two days before it started. You'd come to learn only two things about him after attending. First, he's a complete hardass when it comes to grading any assignments, and second most of his merit comes from the fact he is ridiculously good-looking. 
He can't be any older than his late thirties or early forties, which means he's young. Young enough to be attractive but old enough for most of your peers to thirst for him in unhealthy ways. He's at least a decade and a half older than you, and by god does he make it clear. 
What they don't tell you about college is that there's nothing that can make or break a class more than your professor. Everyone is always too worried about everything else, about getting their schedule right - that they often overlook this basic tenet of college life even though it's so crucial. The worst part is that while various websites rating your professors are helpful, you won't truthfully know how you feel about a professor until you've met them in a classroom. You've had professors with lower ratings be absolute angels, and professors with higher ones being some of the most useless in your entire academic career. 
You were hoping that Professor Suguru would be what you expected. That his astounding 4.5/5 would be a meaningful assessment of his character, that he would be tolerable and polite and understanding and that your semester would be smooth sailing because of it. 
But of course, of course - that couldn't be further from the truth.
You don't know at what point exactly your relationship to Professor Suguru became as sour as it is right now. There's no real pivotal movement where mild intolerance became full-blown and outright distaste. But part of it, you know, stems from the fact your beloved professor is a snake. 
You have no idea how no one else notices it. It genuinely feels like you're the only one who catches the subtleties of his behavior. There's just something about him that's a little…off. The irony isn't lost on you. He's an ethics professor, but something about him makes alarm bells go off in your head. A walking red flag, though a handsome one. He's off in a subtle way, but more than that - he's very openly smug to every single one of his students. It's just that no one else seems to really care. The air of pretension that surrounds him in his every movement is suffocating. Maybe that's part of the charm, if the way girls flock to him after class is anything to go by. 
Even so, you just know there's something deliberate about his casual cruelties. He always seems to pick out the quiet kids, and from the beginning of your semester to now - he always, always manages to single you out of the crowd of students. In every class, in every discussion, in every chance he has to make you out to be a troublemaker he will. 
Yes, you don't really have any idea how it started. But you've been keeping a long record of every single act of personal terror that damned man has been inflicting on you since the start of the course, and you're not unconvinced that your shit grade is in part because he wants to see you grovel in front of him. 
The first time it happened - you figure it was a coincidence. He had called you out in class after you missed a discussion board. You hadn't done the reading, and it wasn't obviously humiliating but it singled you out all the same. When you fumbled coming up with an answer, he gave you a smug smile that so quickly morphed into a fake sincere one, you wondered if you were imagining things. 
The second time was when you came in late after a walk of shame, and Professor Suguru greeted you by the door by asking if those were the same clothes you wore yesterday. After being completely mortified by it, the once dark gaze immediately rescinded to his usual fake-calm self. It was suspicious, but not the concrete evidence you needed. 
And the third time was after your first project of the semester. Your grade was lower than you deserved, and you knew it - so you went to his office hours to bitch and moan to get it bumped up. But he wouldn't budge, saying that he thought his assessment was accurate. Made a smug face as he told you he just didn't think you thought your points out through. Unfair critiques shielded by flowery words and polite gestures. It was that moment that cemented the dislike, though it wasn't the start.
The beginning of the end, so to speak.
Ever since then, you've harbored nothing but dislike for him. You can see past his pretty face and you don't see anything good. You've had unpleasant professors before, but none have ever targeted you so specifically. None of your previous professors, even at the worst, seemed to hold such an unbelievable personal grudge. 
You're all alone, fighting an invisible battle. 
The worst of it though, is that you simply couldn't be bothered to give a shit about it for most of the semester. You had way too much going on, so you just had to put up with the inexplicable dread of attending that class until you had to deal with it again eventually. 
And after months and months of avoiding the issue head-on, you're at a point where you can no longer do so. Your grade is officially below a C after bombing your last quiz, and there's only 5 weeks left until your semester is over and you're barred from graduation. 
And you have no fucking idea what you should do about the situation. 
__
There's a subtle pit of dread in your stomach as you enter your first philosophy lecture of the week. 
For the first time since the start of the semester, Professor Getou doesn't antagonize you as soon as you enter the door. In a strange way, this makes you kind of uncomfortable. He gives you his usual fake smile, but the fact he's gone out of his way to leave you alone makes you feel like he's planning something. 
You brush your paranoia aside as you take a seat in the back of your class. You don't have any friends in this lecture, at least not ones you do more than greet. You sit closer to the back of the lecture hall, tucked into a corner and up a few steps.
The charms on the end of your book bag zippers click together as you take your seat. You open your laptop - pulling up the lecture slides to pretend to study while opening 2048 to play while Professor Getou goes on about his business. You're hoping he's going to go easy on you today, and that his lack of interference is a sign of mercy. 
More people start to trickle in and the classroom is the usual amount of packed it is by this point in the semester. The last day to drop passed last week, so the number of students has decreased despite it being spring semester. 
Your professor starts his lecture as soon as the clock hits 11:30am. You look up from your computer, watching him as he sets up his slide deck and waits for all the conversation to settle before he begins talking.
He catches your eyes briefly before he continues, but he holds it for long enough that you know it's intentional. You frown at him, and it almost looks like he laughs - but you can't be sure your mind isn't tricking you into thinking that. 
"Good morning everybody," His voice is smooth and pleasant - hair tied up neatly. He's wearing his usual attire. Black slacks, and a loose-fitting white shirt with some kind of canvas shoe. "How's everybody hanging in there? Good? Bad?" 
He takes a look around the room, gauging peoples replies before chuckling. 
"Not in good shape huh? Stick it out, a few more weeks and you'll be out of here. Today, we're going to continue on into section five of our coursework - the shortest of all of our other sections," He grabs something that clicks the slide into the next one, a few images next to a wall of text "We have a lot to cover in the last few weeks, but I want to start with a refresh of what concepts we've been learning for the last few weeks." 
The swiftness in the way his eyes land on you is comical in its predictability. You give him an uncomfortable half-smile as he calls your name and brings the class's attention your way. A few looks of pity don't go unnoticed. You stiffen, straighten your back as he says your name slowly before asking. 
"Do you think you can tell me, what are the four core structures that define modern Japanese philosophical thinking?" 
There's real, uncomfortable weight to his gaze that makes you choke. You pull back slightly. 
"Uhm, well - there's Shintoism, Confucianism, Buddhism and western ideology. Primarily German idealism."
He gives you a smug look, the same one you always see before it fades off to an uncannily brilliant smile. Not a sincere one, because when is it ever - but there all the same. 
"Someone's been studying hard huh? But you are correct. We've spent the majority of this class going over the first three. How Shinto tradition, Confucianism, and Buddhism were experienced in Japan - isolated from Anglo-Saxon influence for the first few centuries of its establishment. We've also studied the vague historical timeline of these influences, mostly focusing on modern philosophy. We've covered Edo period philosophy as a precursor for what we know and understand now." 
You can say a lot about Professor Getou, but more than anything - he has a certain way of commanding the room's attention that never lets you get completely comfortable. He has an air of charisma you've never seen in your life and being in close proximity to it makes you feel like you're being swept in by waves larger than life. 
You fidget almost anxiously as you wait for him to continue his lesson.
"Our last few weeks are going to cover the culmination of your previous lessons, and what dictates both national morality and the hierarchy of modern Japanese social mores - Bushido. The way of the Samurai." 
Professor Getou continues with this slide deck as he outlines Bushido conceptually. From its existence as a moral code in late 12th century Japan, to the many misconceptions about the strictness in which it was adhered. He starts the lessons like he starts many others, explaining misconception and myth before touching the surface of the subject at hand. 
It's in his nature to advocate for the whole truth. From the start of your classes to now, Professor Getou always places the same emphasis. If only that truth is unable to be understood without opposition. It's like his whole being is constructed by it, opposition that is always radical and jaw-dropping. You've known this about him since he voiced his open critique for certain ideas about social welfare and about the emphasis of national morality. 
You can't be certain what he really believes - only that he'll voice his views as critically as possible, if only to stir the room. 
"Bushido is the heart and soul of modern and postmodern Japanese ethics, but it remains critically undefined despite its usage and citation functionally. Other philosophical schools of thought have strict definitions - Bushido is evolutionary in nature. Inazo Nitobe is primarily credited with the modern and popular interpretation of Bushido, but has received criticism for its obvious influence from Western ideas, and its comparison to chivalry."
Professor Getou sits back on the edge of his desk with a look on his face. 
"The tendency of Japanese philosophy to lean into metaphysics does not align with the many values of infrastructure and military present in the culture now, but I'm not going to critique the philosophy for you," He skips to the next slide, your last project of the semester on the wall "For the sake of brevity, I'm going to have you write a paper on one of the eight outlined ideals in Nitobe's work, and I want you to reflect on that ideal in your paper." 
A collective whispering erupts in the class as people stress about the assignment of their final few weeks. Not unexpected given the circumstances. Professor Getou doesn't flinch as he waits for the room to settle down.
"This will be your final project in this classroom, and will count as your final grade. On one hand, doing a good job on it means you have nothing to worry about for the last few weeks. On the other it's make or break," He locks eyes with you again as he says this, startling you as his smile grows coy and inauspicious "So if you're in need of a good grade to pass you, I'd recommend coming to see me during office hours or during one-on-one time so I can get you the grade you need. We'll discuss more at the end of class, but we've gotta get through more lectures so you can get an idea of what you can pick."
He gives you one another look, another pointed and obviously direct look, before he proceeds on with his lecture. It gives you a bad feeling in your stomach, and maybe you're being too self-centered thinking he's focusing too much on you.
But you can't help it, swallowing down your uncertainty as you continue on with the lesson. 
You need to pass this class. 
___ 
You meet up with Nobara after the fact. 
She's a good sounding board for your problems as usual. Where you're always looking for the most civil solutions, she's good at giving it to you straight on what you should do. She's no bullshit and you like that about her. Whenever you need a kick in the ass or an ounce of courage, she's the person for the job.
 So after meeting up for lunch, ranting again about Professor Getou (for the hundredth—no, thousandth time), and whining about his weird behavior, you're expecting some semi-sound, if not mean advice on what you should do. 
"Have you thought about just fucking him?" She says instead, her voice full of sincere boredom. It comes out so casually, like she's relaying the news cycle to you - and you can't help but be utterly shocked listening to it. "Not that it was my first suggestion, but I mean…it's getting ridiculous." 
"Hello? Where the hell did that come from? What do you mean just fucking him?" 
She gives you a sideways glance of disdain as if you were the one saying something unreasonable. She leans forward into her hand mirror, gluing on her eyelashes for her afternoon date with Maki. She scoffs when she realizes your shock is genuine. 
"Are you serious? Does this not read as an elaborate scheme for this total jackass to fuck you?" 
You're flabbergasted. Surely she's not being serious with you. 
"Nobara." 
"Haah? Tch. Don't make that face. It's a gross abuse of his power but well, he's not ugly. If he were any younger of a professor, would you like… not assume that was the end game?" 
"Nobara, he's a professor of ethics. His whole career is ethics." 
"Yeah. Like. The perfect cover for wanting to screw his wide-eyed, desperate students. He's a hot, young professor. Not my type but you get me. Don't you think it's a little naive to assume his personal vendetta against you is shit, I don't know… totally lacking that motive? Think with your brain, not your tender little heart for a minute, okay?" 
"It's not that!" 
"Really? Just like your relationship with Mr. Fushiguro is totally platonic?" 
"I said it was one-sided, not platonic." 
"You're my whole heart and soul, you know that right? I didn't freak on you when you said you had a crush on Megumi's deadbeat dad. You're my salvation from the idiots we call guy friends. So I'm saying this with love, and not as the complete bitch you know me as - you're being dumb." 
"Nobara, are you seriously saying you think this whole thing is about him wanting to," You can barely even get the words out. You're not that much of a prude but god. "Wanting to have… sex with me?" 
"Yeah. What else would it even be? I think an awful man is interested in screwing you - a hot, capable twenty-something. Are you stupid? Is that like, sooo impossible for you to consider?"
"Well it's not the first place I would think to go, that's for sure." 
"And that's your whole problem. Don't get me wrong, again, totally gross. Is it like.. a total abuse of his authority? Yeah. But that doesn't have anything to do with you personally. If I'm right, and you fuck him - you get a good lay and to graduate. And you need both."
"Nobara!"
"Don't be mad, I love you, okay? But I'm thinking about your future and your prospects. There's nothing wrong with it on a technical level."
"That is so untrue and you know it—"
"Look. I don't like it. I think it's a weak move and kind of corny and gross. But you've been planning your big graduation for years. And it's not a bad opportunity, and you're not a complete idiot. You said before that he's never inappropriate with the other girls right? You might even be the only one. As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason for you to not get laid and pass." 
"Oh, so the student-teacher thing isn't reason enough?" 
"Not if you wanna graduate it's not." 
The two of you remain at a stand-still as his words trap you into a corner. How the hell do you even deal with this information? And how on Earth is she so sure of herself anyways? You think you're pretty good with signs, at least about things like this.
But it doesn't feel like flirting. He's never flirted with any of the students in class, despite how much they seem to fawn over him. Could this weird, psychological dance you've been doing for the last twelve weeks be some sort of unspoken foreplay ritual? 
The more you think about it, the less it seems implausible to you. There's a wave after that, some cross between impending doom and shameful arousal blooming up inside of you as everything hits you all at the same time. 
When you return to reality after being trapped in your thoughts, Nobara gives you a mindful (almost pitiful) smile and shakes her head. You frown at her in reply, squeezing the bridge of your nose. 
"If it were like literally anyone else, I'd totally tell them it's a bad idea. But it's not like you're going on to date him, and you're what - 24? because of your gap year so you're not a preteen like some of the freshmen in your class. I just don't see any reason not to go for it." 
You tamp down the small voice in the back of your head, encouraging you to do - and instead ask her a follow-up question. 
"...Do you think I should attend his office hours tomorrow, yes or no? I have to email him by tonight to get the one on one." 
"Yeah. Yes. And shave before you go." 
__
You decide, for the sake of your sanity and everyone else's - to ignore Nobara's odd implications about what Professor Getou wants from you and to attend his office hours.
(That's a partial lie, you figure - given the fact you did shave, and shower before attending. You're wearing something kind of nice underneath. But you still don't think he wants to fuck you. It's more of a safety precaution than anything else.)
 You made the game plan last night that you would go, present your idea, and then beg him to be kind to you during the grading process. You even developed a list of things to sob and cry about it to generate something of a sob story if everything went awry. You've forsaken your pride. The only thing that you need to get out of this meeting is a passing grade. 
And that is, of course, by any means necessary. 
Fearing for your life, the state of your mood improves as you approach the building hosting Professor Getou's office. Of all of the people you interact with semi-regularly on campus (all of which you are quite fond of), Nobara wasn't lying about your affection for campus security guard - Toji Fushiguro.
He's an older man. Older than you by double digits, and from what you can tell - older than even your professor. You've been fond of him ever since he brought you back to your dorm after a horrible break-up with your ex as a sophomore. He's got a rough edge, and there's plenty of unverified rumors of his past. You know that he has something of a criminal record too. 
But for all of those rumors, and for all the things you hear about him - he's been one of the highlights of your campus experience. You've had a one-sided school-girl crush on him ever since that night, because you were sober enough to catch his body and how it feels. He was strong. Not in an average way. He made it so effortless when he was carrying you home in his arms - and it's not the first time you've seen him lug around things at least over 300 pounds like they were nothing. 
But attractiveness aside, he is uncharacteristically good at cheering you up. He's funny and witty, all while maintaining a cool facade. He's endearing in his own way too, and you're a little head over heels for him though you'd never push yourself to make the first move. 
Still, when he sees you come towards the building - he greets you with a wide smile. The scar over his busted lip - split open and welcoming as you run up to him for a hug. He's normally patrolling around campus, so it feels lucky to catch him where you least expect. 
He wraps you up with a single arm, your feet temporarily lifting from the ground before you get put back down again. 
"Mr. Fushiguro, what are you doing here?"
"I got moved over here since there's been some rumor about someone stealing from the labs upstairs. So I'm on lock up duty for this building 'till it gets fixed up and solved," He says, voice as smooth as ice "What about you sweetheart? It's gonna get dark out soon." 
"Ah, I have office hours with Professor Getou today. I need to consult with him about a paper." 
"That right? Just gonna be you in there, then?" 
"Yep. I'm gonna go in there and beg him for a good grade on our next assignment. So for the sake of my sanity, please wish me luck?" 
Mr. Fushiguro tilts his head to one side, grinning. 
"Wouldn't that mean you graduate sooner instead of later? Can't wish ya luck on that." He says, making you flush and letting the feeling linger before continuing "Just kiddin'. A pretty face like yours should do you just fine. Knock 'em dead." 
"I feel a lot better about it with your encouragement." You say honestly. Mr. Fushiguro gives you a laugh.
"Treat me to something if my luck makes any difference. And hurry in. Last thing you'd wanna do is be late." 
You nod, wide-eyed and dazed by how charismatic he is before you rush into the building. It's silent, given how late in the school day it is. Most people have already gone home, with the exception of the other poor souls likely chasing down their professors for the same reasons as you. 
You feel an overwhelming sensation of dread as you encroach upon Professors Getou's office. There's no one else in the close vicinity, only a few closed classrooms and students who are passing by the small corner where his door resides - most of which are making their way to leave. 
You decide to take a deep breath, calming your shaken nerves before knocking politely once on his door and entering the room. 
Professor Getou's office looks like how you'd expect it to look. It's clean, and sleek - and lacking almost completely of items of personal effect with the exception of his desk. It's the first time you've ever been inside of the room before, but it smells distinctly of him. He has that same scent surrounding him, like flicks of nicotine and a hint of bergamot. Sweet with the taste of metallic bitterness, like blood and sugar.
You feel the back of your throat bob as you see your Professor sitting at his desk. It's lacking his usual gracefulness. His shirt is unbuttoned down by three entire buttons, and his slacks seem looser. Most notable is his hair - classically long, now in a loose bun with pieces falling all on his shoulders and rolling down his neck. 
You think of what Nobara said to you earlier in the day alone, a strange and overwhelming sensation of lust and embarrassment making it difficult for you to open your voice and talk.
It's Professor Getou who greets you first. He looks up from whatever he was reading and looks at you from where you stand awkwardly at his door. His smile widens, though it's just by a little. 
"Ah, I was wondering when you'd be here. Looks like you're right on time." He says first, sitting up in his chair but not bothering to gather himself in any way otherwise "Come on in and sit. I assume you're here to talk about your grade."
 You sit across from him hesitantly, hands folded in your lap as you put your bag down on the floor. 
He studies you quietly. There's a long stretch of silence, where neither of you do anything but sit in each other's company.
He breaks the silence first.
"So, while I have a guess," He says, elbows on his desk "Do you want to talk to me about what you're here for?" 
You've practiced the dialogue in your head so many times now. What to do and how to say what you need too, but the words seem to fizzle out completely when it's time to really say them. Leaving nothing but uncertainty, you open your mouth only to close it once again. 
"Uhm," Your voice strains trying to make the words out into a coherent sentence. "I came to talk about my paper. And my grade, like you mentioned in class."
"So you decided to heed my advice? Good girl, that was a smart choice," You try not to be taken aback by the pet name - unsure if it's as inappropriate as you think it is "Do you know what virtue you want to cover?" 
"I thought I would pick uhm, righteousness - and then pull from some of the Western ethics we learned about. Making uh, connections between deontological ethics and duty and how it relates to the defined idea of righteousness," You explain nervously, an uncomfortable laugh bubbling out of your throat "How practicing duty and righteousness relate to each other."
 "Hmm. Sounds like you've had time to think about it a little, then."
"I uhm, haven't finished the reading but I did take a look over my section to see if I could make it work." 
"I think you have something to work with. You'll need to straighten out the thesis of your paper into something more tangible. I know that's an ironic ask. But I think it's a good idea," He gives you a brief glance, studies you with eyes. Snake-like. Something coils inside of you, tickles and brushes against your skin and makes the hairs on the back of your neck raise "It seems like you have something more to tell me, though." 
Do you? Is there anything more there? The answer lies indifferently on a scale from obviously to no. nothing at all and it haunts you that he's able to pick it out. 
"It's just well. Uhm. You know, I don't have the best grade in this class so I was more prepared to go down with my grade. You approved quicker than I thought you would." 
"Your grade is pretty abysmal. Did you come in here planning to beg?" 
You refrain from an instant yes, even though it's what you feel. Something about the way he says it makes your stomach clench. Your heart quickens. Your tongue feels too heavy in your mouth as you laugh uncomfortably. 
"Something like that? Uhm, or at least try to hash things out between us. I know our relationship over the c-course of the semester has been kind of sour so I…"
He cuts you off.
"Has it?" 
Your brain stutters to halt.
"Uhm. Yes?"
It's unpredictable, utterly and completely - the way he reflects on your words like you've said something incomprehensible. You aren't sure if that's sincere. You can't be sure if any of the words out of his mouth are. But he doesn't seem like he's lying. Your mind flashes to Nobara, and you find yourself speaking before you can stop it. It comes out like a flood.
 "I j-just always assumed you singled me out in class because you didn't like me? I don't mean to be accusatory, though."
"I'm afraid you've got the wrong idea," He says, shaking his head "I don't harbor any negative feelings for you at all."
"Oh," You say, eyes falling down to your lap again "Right, then." 
"You must be desperate for that passing grade, hm? If you're meeting with a professor you think hates you." 
You glance at him. 
"Well, yes. I want—need to pass this class. I've already planned my graduation for this semester." 
"And you'd be willing to do anything for that, is what you're implying?" 
"Yes," You say, with a sudden rush of unwavering confidence "Anything." 
"Let me ask you another question, then." He lets his elbows rest on the edge of his table, a familiar coy smile "Do you think there's any other reason for why I've been paying special attention to you, aside from me disliking you? You're a smart girl, so I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out." 
The weight of his words don't go unnoticed. The air feels heavy as it hangs between you. He couldn't be implying it so directly could he? Your mind drifts back to Nobara's warning to you, and your breath hitches. Your eyes widen as you glance up for the first time and give him a look of mild distress. 
And he smiles. His grin widens as soon as it dawns on you.
"Seems like you've reached an important conclusion," He says, casually - as he sits up in his chair and leans back. Stretched like nothing could get in his way "Why don't you share with the class?" 
"You," Your voice is a nervous tremor. You must be crazy. You must be completely out of your mind "...To sleep with me?" 
"See? I told you, you're a smart girl." 
The question is a burning one. One you've been wanting to ask since you started thinking about it last night. 
"B-but…why? And why me? A-and," 
"You have a tendency for being combative. You know that? An air of defiance. I can tell you're a little older than your peers. A little wiser, and a little more knowing of when to ask for help," Getou outlines, staring you down "And seeing you with that sense of desperation was exciting for me. I'm a man of simple tastes. At my age, I know what I want." 
"And I like when tough, combative, clever women turn into babbling, desperate, needy girls. I'm quite fond of it, actually." 
He's detrimentally serious. Your stomach flips. 
"Do you want to pass this class?" He asks you, an air of confidence surrounding him. You close your eyes, unsure if you can call it coercion when you're feeling so terribly willing about it. 
"Yes. I need to pass." 
"Then come up here," He gestures, widens his legs and leans back in his chair "And sit." 
Your body is burning. You don't know if you're even really in the situation, or if you've daydreamed it into something impossible. Something phantom moves you. Stands you to your feet shakily before walking in short strides. Professor Getou looks at you from where you stand over him. 
His hand brushes your outer thigh, patting it. 
"Sit." 
So you sit. You spread yourself and straddle your professor - and the reality dawns on you the minute you touch what you're doing. You haven't gotten laid in a bit, and he's nothing like anyone you've ever slept with. You feel out of your element. You get the impression he's a man, a grown one. There's a confidence in him that looms and looms and looms, overshadowing any of your doubt.
He's sexier up close. There's the faintest trace of smile lines on his expression as you look down at him. He guides your arms to loop around your neck, and holds your hips with his hands. 
Then you feel it, almost instantly - something hard and bulging pressing against the seam of your pants and against your crotch. He's already half-hard and he hasn't even kissed you. He grins at you lazily, like a cat with cream. 
"I'll pass you as soon as I put it in," His hands are so big - long, slender fingers gripping your ass "And give you extra credit when you cum for me. How's that sound?" 
You feel dirty. It's all happening so fast. Almost vulgar, but it's impossible to feel cheap. To believe in the wrongness of it when Professor Getou is so undeniably sexy. Wrong, on so many levels, to do this for the sake of your grade. Or just in general. Yet you want it, yearn for it, find the culmination of all your annoyances melting as he graces you himself. 
"I wanna pass," You say, uncharacteristically nervous about everything. You add the next part a little quieter "...I want it." 
"What do you want, exactly?" 
"Want you to fuck me." You admit, against your better judgment "Please?" 
"Gonna make a real pretty mess out of you," He says, voice smooth and serene. You look down at him. His knuckles brush against your jaw, on your cheek before his thumb holds on your lower mouth. His fingers push past the edge of your lips, sliding against your tongue and gently running along your teeth. He gags you on it, so slightly - enough to startle you but not enough to hurt. You feel spit pour from your lips. 
Thick messy strings of drool drip down the sides of your mouth. You want to back away in shame. But there's an air of intention behind the gesture. It's deliberate, the action - the mess and how it runs down your neck. Before you know it, he's kissing you in that same state. 
Professor Getou kisses like he's done it before.
His hands grip on your ass as he kisses hot and heavy. Self-assured, he sucks and bites at your mouth - sticking his tongue in and mixing his saliva with yours in a way that feels downright dirty. Yet it makes you throb, white-hot flames licking at the back of your thighs. The sparks of arousal crawl up your skin. 
Your nerves tighten as Professor Getou cups your face with one palm, kissing you with fervor. You melt into him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. 
"Been thinking about what you would look like bent over my desk all semester," He says as he pulls away, looking on with admiration at your messy complexion "You wanna go on ahead and show me?"
Another wave of embarrassment washes over you, but you find yourself standing to your feet. Sliding your sweats off down your legs - your lower half is left bare with the exception of your feet. You lay or stomach on his desk, the cold wood sending chills up your whole body and your stomach and tits lay flat and squishy against the hard material. You stand, shoulder width apart, and present yourself in front of him. 
"That's what I like to see," His voice is rich and deep as he speaks. You can feel him inch towards you, pulling you apart with his palms before his hand comes down on your ass in one hard motion. The noise echoes against the walls of the room "See, I knew you could listen well when you had to." 
You don't say anything in reply, pressing your cheek against the desk. 
"W-what do I call you?" You ask, your voice trembling. You feel his fingers against the seam of your panties. He snaps the cotton waistband against your skin before humming thoughtfully, a light tap to your ass. 
"Getou is fine. Suguru is too. Sir if that makes you more comfortable."
 Getou makes a show of fondling you, though you can't see it - you can feel the way his eyes nearly swallow your naked lower half. How his fingers touch and prod all of your sensitive places, with some kind of keen observation. Everything Getou says is like that, keen and particular.
"Such a pretty pussy on you. Would've been such a waste if you didn't come to me."
You don't bother to ask what he means by that. Behind you, there's a noise. Of a chair rolling back, and the dull thud of knees hitting the ground. Before you know what's happening, there's a face dangerously close to your clothed pussy. The minute you try to squirm, there's a tight grip keeping you in place. He takes a deep breath. Without any real hesitance, you feel his tongue lick across the clothed material. 
In one fell swoop, he pulls your panties to one side and kisses your clit without any more real introduction. You're gripping the edge of the table you're bent over as you feel his tongue slide against the wet folds of your pussy, making your voice cry out involuntarily. Normally people would urge you to be quiet, but you got the feeling he didn't care if anyone heard you crying out for him. You get a second wave of intuition telling you he might even like it. 
A sensation of bliss washes over you as he sucks hungrily at your cunt. It feels good enough to be holy. There's such immense expertise in it that you can't help but succumb to it completely. The warm, heavy muscle gliding over sticky folds.
You're so lost in the pleasure, your mind completely blocks out the intrusion. The sense that would detect another person in the room disappears completely. You only know because of Getou, the way he stops and scoffs. It forces you to blink your eyes open. He speaks before you get the chance. 
"What are you doing here?" 
You recognize the voice instantly, and your heart drops through your stomach. 
"Thought I heard a ghost howling," Mr. Fushiguro says, his voice is rougher and deeper and older "Turn out it was just a little girl wanderin' into the woods." 
"If you can see I'm busy, why're you still here?"
You can't help but feel the second wave of overwhelming shock as you sit there, naked and unafraid. Still, they stand like nothing is wrong. Chat like they know each other somehow, but you have no idea in which way. All you can focus on is the bubbling, nauseating shame. 
"Oh god." You voice, but both others ignore. Mr.Fushiguro speaks first.
"This one is off-limits, Suguru. What kinda professor goes around fuckin' their innocent little students?"
"Just the one, Mr. Fushiguro. And I'd like to get back to business."
"Ah, no way I'm letting you off the hook. I could report this y'know? Make headlines. Ethics professor coerces student into sexual activity. It'd be big. 
Your heart drops. 
"Fuck off, would you? Does she look coerced?" 
A beat of silence. "Nah. Not with the way she's twitchin'. But it's not fun if I just let you go. How about you tap me in and I'll keep your little secret hm? She's gotta cute crush on me already."
Your heart flounces around in your chest, a muffled noise of shock escaping your lips as you squirm to move but are held, still, so firmly in place. Your expression and feelings all go through 5 stages of grief before settling at dumbfounded. They don't especially ask for your input, but you hear Professor Getou behind you.
"Fine, if it'll get you to shut up. And I'm fucking her first."
Strange. Nothing about today makes any sense. You don't miss the almost childish sense of competition in Getou's voice that changes your view of him in an instant. Humanizes him in the strangest and most unrecognizable ways. It lacks his usual virtue.
Mr. Fushiguro walks up in front of you, imposing. He's grinning, a well-worn smile on his face that you know. He helps you up, and you keep yourself upright on your arms as he grabs your chin with his palms. You look up at him wide-eyed, unsure of what to do.
"Dirty fucking girl aren't ya?" He says, though he almost sounds like he's impressed with himself 
"You into older men or is it a coincidence you're screwing 'im for your grade?"
You're speechless, and you moan a little pathetically as Getou doesn't stop eating you out. This only seems to make Mr. Fushiguro even more excited. You look up at him through wet lashes, unsure of what to do.
"Don't mind either way, just curious. Guess I'm a little sad 'cause I thought your little heart eyes around me made me special," He tells you this looking down at you, eyes locked. You can tell he's just teasing you, and it makes you twitch "But I guess that's not true, is it?"
"You're different. I uhm. Well it's true at least."
"Yeah? You're just letting both of us fuck you 'cause you're like a bitch 'n heat?"
You flush. He gives you a smile and a well-meaning laugh that makes your body feel warm with heat.
"Mind if we're a little rough on you, sweetheart?"
You shake your head.
"Good. Stick your tongue out and open your mouth for me then."
You listen, oblige the instructions almost obediently. Your face is still covered with spit from before. You watch idly, intently - as Mr. Fushiguro pulls his cock out from his black pants. The loose material covers him well, but as soon as they're down past his thighs - the outline of his cock borders on intrusive. Your eyes widen, fluttering and unfocused because it's hard to think about anything while feeling such intense pleasure.
But Mr. Fushiguro is captivating as he pulls himself out for you. His cock is thick and heavy, protruding but too much that it can't stand up on its own. Weighed down by gravity, you stare at it wide-eyed. It's the size of your forearm, so thick you can't possibly imagine what it feels like.
Your heart stammers. 
"It won't fit in my mouth." You say, gasping for air as if you're already suffocating on it "You're—you're so huge."
He laughs with an edge of snark. You blink at him in complete seriousness, taken aback. He lets the tip of his cock tap the plushness of your cheek before pressing against your lips. You stare at him, almost afraid.
"Of course it'll fit," He says in confidence "Just gotta make sure you're relaxed. So relax, sweetheart, and open your mouth for me." 
Hesitantly, you open your mouth wide. You feel the corners of your lips stretch around the intrusive, thick head of Mr. Fushiguro's cock. The taste of sweat and skin is invasive and heavy, violating your senses. Just the tip and it barely fits in your mouth. You try and concentrate, sticking your tongue out and curling it around the underneath of his cock, focusing on sucking just the tip. He groans above you, a hand on the back of your head. He doesn't force you down, but you can tell by the twitch in his fingers that he wants to.
"Look at you," He says, his voice coarse with restraint and desire "You're drooling on my cock while you're professors busy eatin' your pussy. Thought you were an innocent girl, but now I don't know what to believe."
He says this as he eases more into your mouth, slowly letting you adjust. He rocks his hips back and forth until you relax. You open yourself up, trying to focus on blowing him.
But a hand comes down on your ass, hard and heavy - making you yelp. The noise is muffled but audible. A short squeal, you can't turn your head to look 
"Don't you think you two are getting too comfortable upfront without me? I'm the one who decides your grades."
"Maybe you're not doing good enough for her to care."
You can feel a strange sense of competition between them, but you're too occupied to ask about it. How do they know each other, and for what reason do they seem so automatically hostile? It bothers you, but you can't think about it too hard.
"That's not true. Her pussy is soaking fucking wet." He punctuates his words with a harsh smack against your cunt, the force rippling through your as you bend forward and choke "Almost as messy as her face."
He's quick, again, to latch himself to your clit. He flicks it with his tongue, licking it mercilessly as your brain starts to fog up with desire. Like he's trying to prove a point, you moan around Mr. Fushiguro's cock as your pleasure starts to thrum up again. The back of your legs tense, trembling as a knot begins to uncoil in your lower stomach. The cock in your mouth moves too, using the distracted moans to ease himself even deeper into the wet, arm cavern of your mouth. 
Your head feels heavy, body weak as the both of them use you to their contents. Your stomach starts to stir as a familiar feeling of euphoria claws at you. 
You cum for the first time like that, your body pressed against a wood desk - restrained and under careful watch of two men. Your whole body explodes - white, hot nerves fraying off and ricocheting off your ribs inside of you. Your insides shake as the wave of an orgasm washes over your entire body. You gasp, clenching down hard and gasping as tremors of orgasm pulse and push through your whole body. Something in you ignites as you grip the edge of the desk for your life, trying to keep yourself upright as Getou pushes you through the orgasm. 
You've barely recovered when Mr. Fushiguros pulls out of your mouth, pressing his spit-soaked cock against your face and cheeks with a smile. You let it slide against your tongue, eyes fluttering open as your face gets covered in precum and saliva. 
"You look so fucking filthy right now, you know that? But it looks good on you. I'm dying to fuck you." 
"Mr. Fushiguro," You groan. He clicks his teeth. 
"Toji's just fine sweetheart." 
You whimper helplessly as you ride out your high. Behind you, your professor pulls away. You peek behind you to see him, flush as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 
Toji looks down at your frazzled expression with a grin, teeth showing as he cups your jaw a second time and slides his cock back in one go. This time, he pushes his cock in the base - keeping your throat around him with a hand on the back of your head. 
"Just focus on me for now, baby. Focus on sucking me off, yeah? Just like that, easy easy. He's gonna open you up. Stretch you nice and make your pussy all sloppy. That's what you want right?" 
Getou leans over you, the weight of his body looming as you feel slender fingers slide through your sticky folds. His middle and index brush against your abused clit, rubbing a few circles into it before pulling away. He grabs your arms and positions them behind your back, gripping them in one hand to keep you restrained. You squirm against the gesture, unable to get any leeway as he holds you down. Then you feel his fingers move, middle finger catching on your wet hole as it trembles and sticks. He opens you up like this without any warning. 
His middle finger goes first - delicately intrusive as your pussy widens to accommodate him. They're so much bigger than yours. Just one feels like two of your own. You push back out of instinct but Getou doesn't let you move. He buries himself, pushing in and out until he's able to fuck your pussy all the way down to the knuckle. Once there's no longer any resistance, he pulls back and makes room for another. The sensation is duller, lets you clear your head and think even as Toji rubs his cock on your face and fucks your mouth in short ruts. 
Not enough to make you choke, but enough to smear something hot and nasty all over you. 
Professor Getou repeats the process with his pointer, pushing and stretching and opening until you can't fight it anymore. With two fingers, he scissors them trying to make your insides soft enough for him to take you. 
"You're stretching out for me like it's nothing. You must be turned on, hm? Like getting all your holes used like this? Getting your face-fucked by a man old enough to be your father?" 
Toji laughs harshly, smacking your face lightly, enough it doesn't hurt but enough to make you feel it. 
"She loves it. She's clenching down on you tight ain't she?" 
"Sure is. All this for a grade. Maybe I should've bullied you about it a little more first. Since you're so eager." 
"Gonna give her extra credit for this?"
"I should deduct points for the fact you're even near here."
He laughs good-naturedly at this point, and you're still having trouble making sense of their relationship. You manage to speak for the first time in forever, voice barely there as you go to question them. You're not expecting any solid answers. 
"How do you two know each other?" You ask, before Toji starts fucking your mouth again 
"Goes a long way back. And we're still on bad terms, so congrats on bringing us together, sweetheart. Kind of an expected reunion really." 
"He's been working here since Professor Gojo and I were students here and we knew him from before. A long story. Don't worry your pretty little head about it." 
The burning question is quick to fade out of your mind as you feel your professor's clothed bulge rest against your cunt. You moan, a clipped needy sound as you nearly beg him to fuck you. Toji bends over you this time, reaching back to spread your pussy open by grabbing your ass. You can feel the grip of his hands, strong and assured. 
"She's gettin' impatient. Give it to her." 
"Don't need your help with that." Getou spits, irritation sounding in his words. 
"Consider it an apology." 
The air of tension is there temporarily, before Getou pulls his cock from the confines of his boxers. You can't see it, eyes squeezed tight as you work your mouth and tongue Toji's length. You can feel it though. He makes a show of rubbing his cock against your puffy, sore cunt. You get a feel for its shape as he pushes it between your thighs and lets it cling in between your lips. Professor Getou's cock is longer and more narrow, but it curves upright. It's hard, throbbing between your legs. Whining helplessly you wiggle your ass again. You feel increasingly restless about needing something inside of you. You're still bound though, completely and utterly unable to move. Toji's hand comes down heavy on your ass as you do, clicking his teeth in faux irritation. 
"Don't fucking move unless you want my handmark on your ass forever," He says, his voice cool and forgiving "Impatient." 
Getou must feel something inside of him merciful enough to keep you waiting. Even with all the stretching and prep, the minute you feel the head of your cock push through - something inside of you snaps. It's still so big, still too much, still reaches a part of you so deep you didn't know it was there. The position itself - still being on your stomach, makes it reach so much farther than other positions. The raw, skin-to-skin contact leaves your tummy fluttering, skin prickling with heat. Your top is pushed up enough to expose your lower back and your skin is pulsing. You feel like your whole body is on fire, suspended between men so much older than that want nothing more than to fuck you.
Every time you try to wiggle away from the sensations, Toji's hand comes down heavy on your backside. It doesn't matter how minuscule the movement. If he gets the idea that you're going to try and pull away, he spanks you hard enough that the room echoes with the sound. Your skin tingles, phantom sensation left before as you're held open and made to take your professor's cock - obedient and wanting. 
Inch by miserable inch, it takes forever to take him down to the base. Your toes curl, eyes shut and mouth sloppily trying to keep up with the cock in your mouth and just barely succeeding. 
He groans behind you, shuddering 
"That's incredible," He praises, and it feels so good to hear him saying something so overtly kind you don't know if you want to laugh or cry "Your pussy is fucking incredible. Shit."
"You hear that? You gotta. Pussy's twitchin' like crazy. Ass is too, how cute." 
"Feels sho good," You slur, brain clear of any and all rational thought as a string of saliva drips down your chin "Please fuck me, please,"
"You heard her teach."
Toji lets go of you and returns back to where you are. He pulls his cock away from you, instead holding you up and cupping your mouth open. He kisses you, after everything - with all of his pre-spend in your mouth before spitting into it harshly and kissing it again.
"Such a pretty face you're makin' right now." He says, something of a warm and unprecedented affection to it "So excited to get your pussy filled up."
He leans you on him, lets you wrap around his midriff, and squeeze tight while he pets the back of your hair in a strange streak of affection. You don't know what to make of anything. All you can feel is the long cock pounding into you without any mercy. Razor-sharp thrusts, nudging against your swollen g-spot and pounding into your cunt with immeasurable force. A man so much older than you is fucking you, pounding your pretty little pussy, and turning you into a complete mess. He's meant to be a mentor to you, but he has his cock imprinting itself inside of you over and over and over.
Your stomach feels hot again, but some other feeling takes you over as Toji cradles you - watching you just as intently. He talks you through with confidence you can't entirely understand.
"Yeah, that's it. Tighten up for him, just like that. Feels good doesn't it? I know baby, I know."
You whine out in Toji's arms as he talks you through it. Behind you, you feel Getou's grip hold you tight as he pistons you. The sound of his thighs smacking against your ass is noisy, almost as noisy as your pussy. Slick wet, sounding each time he thrusts.
"I'm not gonna last like this, shit." He pumps into you a few more types before his hips stutter to a halt. He cums with his cock buried deep inside of you, filling you all the way to the brim. You feel his white, hot seed fill your belly, cock twitching as he unloads and makes your legs shake.
A sense of emptiness overwhelms you as Getou pulls out, landing a hit on your ass as he shakes. He kisses your spine. 
The two of them switch places without communicating with each other about it. Getou pulls out, and away - coming back in front of you and picking you up in his arms as Toji positions himself behind you. He spreads your cunt out with his fingers, examining the seed left over with a light laugh. 
"Gonna fuck into your sloppy little cunt, give you another load where you need it and make you cum." Toji says, not hesitating at all. You feel your breathing start to quicken as he takes the same positions as before. 
Toji doesn't neglect touching you as his arm curls around your waist, calloused fingertips brushing against your clit before his cock pushes into you. Your pussy takes him much easier, but even so - Toji is just so thick, you can't help but feel him all over again. This time, Getou has you in his arms, holding and guiding you. Your hands are curled around his bicep and lower spine as you're held up. 
Toji's thrusts are slower, but just as rhythmic - focused on bringing you to another orgasm. It's duller this time, the sensation more focused and spread. Toji is so big you feel it in your hips, your entire lower half tingling as he pumps his cock in and out of you. He gives you all of his attention, staving off his own orgasm as Getou encourages you with his own words. 
"Gonna cum again, pretty? Take another man's cum in you right after me? You want to, right? Take it all in, every drop. You've earned it."
You feel your insides tighten again, for a second time - in a miraculous span. Every muscle in your body tenses and contracts as both sensations work in tandem to bring you closer to your edge. 
Your nerves fire off a second time as you push yourself to the limit. Toji fucks you through another orgasm with ease, thrusting with each tremor until you've ridden out your high. His own orgasm and chase come not long after that fact. 
As soon as you've gone totally limp underneath him, he sheaths himself as deep as he can. Bent over you, he cums hard and deep, filling you to the brim a second time.
There's a brief moment of silence as Toji rides out his high, where all three of you sit in silence.
You find yourself limp as you lay there, Toji pulling out and Getou slowly letting you down before you look up with a tired expression. 
"...So, did I pass?"
Your professor laughs harder than you've ever seen him laugh.
"With flying colors."
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steviewashere · 11 months ago
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Kiss and Tell
(Can be found on ao3)
Steddie WC: 2,279 Tags: Post Season 4, Steve Harrington Has Auditory Processing Disorder, Eddie Munson Loves to Talk, Minor Angst, Mostly Fluff, Queer Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Has a Bisexual Awakening, But He Already Knows (Sort of), First Kiss, Lots of Kissing
Based on this post that I made. Happy reading! <3
-------- Steve has a staring problem. He knows this. He's been told this. And it's not something he can help or fix or find an alternative for. This is just what he knows.
It's something he's tried to maintain since he was a little boy. And, on that same note, is something he picked up while being a boy in a room with two adults who were fast talkers and big negotiators and all-in on the nature of their careers. But his parents certainly hate that he has a staring problem. Which, that's not unusual, most people hate that he does. Because he doesn't look them in the eyes for more than thirty seconds at a time. And even if he does, he doesn't hear a single thing they said, politely asking they start over, and feeling hurt when they just scoff as loud as possible and walk away from the conversation all together.
The audio just doesn't process. Never has. Probably never will.
He listens to music, but doesn't understand any meaning. He talks over the phone, but must have all other sound blocked out and the curtains shut and his eyes closed to imagine what the words look like leaving the other person's mouth. He argues, but loses track of the original point of the argument—when he laughs instead of apologizes.
And it would be fine—if—he wasn't close to losing his life every year. Where he has to listen to everybody and the important tiny details and the plans and the reasons for what they're doing. Which leads him to danger. Which gives him a bruised face. Which makes the listening even harder, once the concussion leaves and he's just got the leftover damage of his quirkiness.
It would be fine—if—he wasn't made to feel so stupid for what he must do. The jabs and the constant reminders and the...yeah, his sob story.
But there was Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins, who he could keep up with. Because they'd talk about the same things over and over, until he could practically relay all the information, pulled straight from the deep crevices of his brain, and it ends up that they had forgotten, rather than him.
And there was Nancy Wheeler, who was polite enough to repeat things. Who had flash cards and a soft, focusing voice. It was easy to write off looking at her lips. "Eyes up here, Steve," she'd say. "Sorry," he'd respond sheepishly, "getting lost." And he'd chuckle and she'd giggle and then they'd kiss a little and he wouldn't be reminded that he's just a little weird. That, maybe, he just isn't normal.
Robin Buckley makes things easy-ish. She talks fast. And a lot. And she never looks him in the eyes, unless she's asking for a very serious favor, or he has something on his face, or she just feels the need (she claims it's that she hasn't looked in a while, but he shrugs her off every time). (If he can get away with staring at her lips, then she can get away with never looking him in the eyes.) He's mentioned, though, that he has a hard time following her sometimes. That he needs the words repeated a few times. Explained the lip thing, with a tense voice and a quake in his chest and his fingers tapping at the sides of his thighs. And, for a brief moment, he had felt like a creep. Like one of those weirdos that preys on the idea of women kissing. And he wanted to open up Family Video's register, shove his head inside, and sort himself out into the container of fives. But she shrugged, said "Okay," and went back on some ramble, to which he was immediately drawn to her mouth. And saw her repeat the name, Vickie, at least twenty times. He grinned and then when the store was empty, he leaned across the counter and teasingly said, "You have a big fat crush on Vickie, don't you?" To say that he was proud of her sputtering is an understatement.
Now, Dustin and the others were harder to get through. Because they moved at their own pace. And they don't really stop to add him to the conversation. He gets it, to an extent. He knows that he's not really all that intrigued in what they enjoy. (Even if he really leans into the conversation when they mention Sherlock Holmes or Dracula or Star Wars or, even, Star Trek. And he pretends to not be interested in their science fair projects. Or the one time he caught them huddled around a Sports Illustrated, in which he fought the urge to chat their ears off about both baseball and basketball statistics.) But there's a point in the conversations where he's made to feel a little dumb; even if he was staring where they were speaking, but they always grow frustrated, a huff of air released, when they notice he's not "paying attention" (translation: looking them in the eyes. "Because, Steve, it's just talking etiquette!" Dustin had shouted once).
He loves all of them anyway. Even if he misses words. And he loses track of what they were saying. He just wishes they were a little bit more forgivable about it at the end of the day.
Then, Eddie Munson is walking along side him in an alternate universe. He's peeled the vest off his back and chucked it at Steve. And they're talking. Jealous of one another, but talking. But, Eddie's voice goes soft and quiet, his eyes pointing towards Nancy's back.
Steve is looking at Nancy, words fading into the background. And it's not a moment of realization. Or a moment of longing. Yearning, what say you. No—it's one of his moments in which he's "listening," but not processing. So he looks back. And for a mere second, Eddie's eyes are big where Steve stares. Big and wet and curious. Big and wet and persuasive. Big and wet and not at all his lips and Steve is still not listening.
But his lips. Well, Steve's seen lips. These are pretty. They're pink. Chapped and bitten and plush appearing. Mesmerizing. Stretching over Eddie's sharp teeth, exposing dimples and smile lines, making his recent stubble more noticeable than it's ever been before. But his lips are pretty.
Like girls lips, Steve muses. Not really taking in what that means. Because Eddie's saying something about true love. And—shit—okay. Steve can get behind an act of true love. He can get behind sharing denim and coating Eddie's clothes in blood and staring down his lips and—god, his eyes, Steve can't help but notice once more.
Eddie's like a vulnerable cow. With pretty lips, he has to point out. Or a baby deer. With such pretty lips. And he's talking and Steve's finally listening. But it's not just processing. No, Steve's intrigued, interested even. He tilts his head like a curious puppy. Leaning in. Eddie's breath ghosts the tip of his nose. And, sure, it's a little rank. But weirdly sweet. Warm where Steve is otherwise cold. Warm in places Steve's never considered to feel warm in, but he's willing to give in, to wrap up in whatever Eddie has to say. If it all means more of him.
So, it makes sense that after all that they go through, Steve finds himself in Eddie's orbit. As a friend. As a trauma bond. As everything Eddie needs him to be.
He sits on the Munson's couch. On the cushion that dips a little too low. The lights orange and dim and casting beautiful streaks of almost candle light on Eddie's soft, beautiful features. Highlighting where his nose is the most bulbous. His pronounced Cupid's bow. The outer edges of his irises, golden and honey against the off-white of his scleras.
Eddie talks like Robin does. Excited. A lot. Fast. But his voice is soft, focused on the information—like Nancy's. It's teasing, like Dustin's. Soft, though. So gentle. Murmured. Which makes sense, if Steve were to stop and think about it for just a moment. With how late it is. With the little amount of weed they smoked. And it all just fits, with how slow and careful Eddie's lips move. As if testing the words. As if searching for what he means.
But, god, Steve is following along. Of course he is. Hanging onto each one of Eddie's words.
"So, the cashier at the record store got all apprehensive about selling me this tape. Which, I guess makes sense because it's a special edition. Comes with a photo card or whatever, but like—Come on, y'know? If he wanted it so bad, he should'a bought it the moment it dropped. Not my fault he slacks on not just his job, but also his opportunities," Eddie rambles. And, that's right, he's complaining about the music store encounter he had today. Trying to buy some album for some band. Steve got lost part of the way through, so he's not sure who exactly Eddie was getting a tape for. The style of music. But he has most of the information. He just—
Has to squint harder.
So, Steve leans in. As casual as he possibly can. And narrows his eyes at Eddie's lips. The word pretty comes to mind again. Because of course it does. And he can't pull his eyes away, no matter how hard he tries. For some reason, the tips of his fingers tingle a little. Wanting to reach out. Trace his lower lip, right where it sticks out, just above the divot of his chin. Would it be soft, he asks himself. Does he wear chapstick? Steve sighs softly. I wish I could...taste it. His eyes widen, just the tiniest bit. But he ignores that in favor of whatever Eddie is saying. If only he could make it out. He leans impossibly closer.
And there it is again. The soft puffs of warm air. On the tip of his nose. His own lips. Tickling his stubble. Eddie's breath smells like weed and strawberry Tab; a little bit of Kraft macaroni and cheese. Maybe the smallest trace of pepper—
"Uh, Steve?" Eddie nervously calls out. But gets no response. Steve is only a couple inches away from his face. Eyes hooded. Glassy. Zeroed in on Eddie's lips. He's not talking. Doesn't even give a hum. Just...keeps staring.
Eddie sucks in a breath. Eyes darting over Steve's face. He doesn't talk again, hoping maybe Steve will stop. But, nope. In fact, the only thing Eddie gets as acknowledgement for the fact he's stopped talking, is that Steve pouts. Upset. As if his lips no longer moving is some great catastrophe to Steve, some tragedy, some misfortune.
And, Eddie, the awful wreck that he is, can only assume that this means one thing.
Steve wants a kiss. And is, maybe, too chicken shit to close the gap.
So, with no other option. And definitely not wanting to get away from the heated, stirring, calm mask of Steve's face—Eddie presses his mouth against Steve's. Hesitantly smushing their lips together. Dragging his lower lip against Steve's soft scowling one.
And he pulls away. Because Steve isn't doing anything in response.
No, in fact, Steve is extremely expressive now.
Wide eyes. Mouth opened into a silent "Oh." His cheeks are flushed. And as quick as it came upon him, whatever realization that was, fades. Like a cartoon character, Steve's face melts into one of pure infatuation. Mouth lilting. His posture slouching. Eyes going soft against the extreme red of his face.
"Do that again," Steve whispers.
Eddie obliges. And he obliges. And he keeps obliging until they're under a cool top sheet, skin slick with sweat and eyes piercing one another's mouths.
That's when, in the silent air of Eddie's tiny bedroom, Steve admits the greatest thing in the world. "I don't really process when people are talking unless I'm looking at their mouth. I have to read their lips. I didn't—I wasn't trying to kiss you at first, but—" And the motherfucker giggles. "If that's all it took..." Then he's kissing Eddie again. Like it's the last thing he'll ever get to do. And Eddie thinks, If I die from running out of breath doing this, then I've done everything in my life correctly.
So, sure, Steve has a huge staring problem. And he doesn't really listen. And it's something he'll never fix, even if there's a way to.
But he finds that his technique—the thing he's crafted since he was a little boy—no longer works. At least, not on Eddie. Because suddenly, looking at his gorgeous pink lips makes Steve only able to think about one thing: Kissing. And he can't follow along unless he fulfills that want.
Eddie could be in the middle of a deep, all inclusive description of his recent trap in the campaign he's crafting. He could be singing. He could be complaining about some movie he rented. But that doesn't matter. Because he stops talking the moment Steve leans in and kisses him. Kisses like he needs it to live.
And though he rolls his eyes. Huffs a breath. Smirks and barrels on. There's that giddiness, that love pooling in Eddie' heart. Just knowing the effect he has on Steve. And the way he's affected, too, when Steve just whispers, "Sorry, I got lost again. Start over?"
He obliges. And he keeps obliging. And his lips are usually swollen by the time he's finally done rambling.
Steve stares. Eddie talks. And it's the combination of a lifetime.
--------
❤️
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lenaswritingandstuff · 2 months ago
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Meant to be mine - Regulus Black x f!reader
Pairing: Regulus Black x f!reader; Evan Rosier x f!reader
Summary: When you start thinking Regulus only sees you as his best friend, you date someone else. However, Regulus' reaction to your new relationship is not what you expected.
Word Count: 8.8K
Warnings: Angst; English is not my first language!
A/N: Loosely based on the dating Headcanons I posted. I had to make up two Slytherin students because well, apparently we don't know any Slytherin girl from Regulus' era - feel free to correct me if you do know one. It was supposed to be Barty instead of Evan but I want him to get the girl lol so I'll write something for him in the future. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Enjoy!
Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus
Tag list for this story: @pompeygirl89 @angemyrtille
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Regulus and you had clicked immediately on your first day at Hogwarts several years ago, and he was the best friend you ever had. You essentially spent most of your time together, sitting next to each other in class, doing homework and studying together, and spent your free time reading, watching movies or simply talking and laughing, incredibly comfortable with each other. Sure, you had made other friends, and also spent time with them, but it couldn’t compare to what you felt when you were with Regulus, for the simple reason that, during your third year in school, you fell hard in love with your best friend. 
But much to your chagrin, Regulus never hinted at sharing your feelings. You had noticed how he looked disappointed when you told him you were spending time with Emmeline and the others, but you thought he just felt that way because, well, you were the only friend he had - for some reason, he had never managed to create a friendship with any other boys from your house, despite a lot of them also coming from a pure-blood family. You never told anyone about your feelings for the sweet, caring boy with dark curls, and, too shy and scared to tell him how you felt, you buried your feelings for him, secretly - and shamefully - thankful that while your love wasn’t shared, he didn’t seem interested in any other girl, and instead, continued spending all your time with him like everything was fine. 
But pretending became harder and harder with time, and summer break almost came as a relief. You were spending it debating over confessing your feelings and risking destroying your friendship or keeping on slowly breaking your heart -, you decided to move on. However, it turned out to be even harder than to love someone who didn’t love you back, especially since Regulus kept writing to you about how bored he was in his family’s house despite his parents’ affection, and how much he missed you. Your first instinct was to not answer his letters, but you eventually did write a polite yet very short letter where you told him you missed him too. He didn’t seem to notice how cold your letters were, and kept writing to you, asking about what you were doing and talking about the books he was reading. But several days before going back to Hogwarts, you finally made up your mind, and decided to move on from Regulus. 
After saying goodbye to your parents on Platform 9 3/4, you waited for the train next to your bags, feeling a bit anxious at the thought of seeing Regulus again, when you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder. It made you jump, and when you turned around, you felt your heart miss a beat when you saw Regulus’ sweet eyes and smile. 
“Sorry, y/n,” he said gently, “I didn’t want to startle you.”
“It’s fine, hum,” you said. “How…How are you, Reggie?” 
“Very well,” he said. “It’s nice to come back to school and to see you again. Oh, I almost forgot.”
You frowned as he turned around for a second, only to turn around with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers in his hands. 
“There for you.”
“Oh, Reggie,” you said, hiding your annoyance when you felt your heart beating faster, “they’re beautiful, thank you.” 
You reached a hand and took them, but froze when your fingers touched Regulus’. Your eyes met his, but after a few seconds, he didn’t move his fingers. You only dared to move when the train’s departure was announced as imminent, and you took the bouquet, trying but struggling to grab all your bags in one hand and the bouquet in the other. Regulus immediately saw your struggle and reached out a hand.
“Please let me help, I’ll put your bags on the train.” 
“I’m fine, Reggie,” you said without looking at him, walking to the train’s door. 
“Come on, y/n, let me…”
Not waiting for an answer, he grabbed all your bags and, acting like a gentleman as he always did, he opened the door and let you get on the train first. He then followed you in, and you started walking quickly to put some distance between the two of you while you were looking for a compartment. You eventually found an empty one, put the bouquet on the seat next to you and went back to Reggie, who was about to enter the compartment, and took your bags from his hands. 
“Thank you, Reggie,” you said, still not looking at him. 
You put your bags where they were supposed to go, over your head, and sat close to the window, and looked at the other students saying goodbye to their relatives. Regulus did the same with his bags before sitting on the opposite seat. 
“How did your summer go?” he asked. 
“Good,” you said, still looking through the window. “Yours?”
“Good.”
Soon, there were only families or relatives on the platform, and the train started moving minutes after. Regulus tried to make conversation during the whole journey, asking you about your activities during the summer or your family, but you only gave him short answers while avoiding looking at him, which he didn’t seem to notice. He never notices anything. Regulus later tried to buy something from the trolley for you, but you politely refused despite his insistence. You knew you were acting like a child, and knew it would be simple to take risk to face rejection but you couldn’t help it. You felt as if the only way you could get over him was to put distance between the two of you - maybe if you saw him less and talked less with him, your feelings would go away, and you could try to find interest in other boys. But as the train got closer to Hogwarts, you realized seeing Regulus less was going to be harder, considering you shared all your classes. I’ll just sit next to Emma, you thought. And I’ll just have to find excuses to not spend as much time with him. The rest of the journey was spent in silence. You looked at the landscape in front of you, and while Regulus remained silent, you sometimes felt his eyes on you. Two hours later, the sun was starting to set, which meant the journey would be over soon. You rose from your seat, and, for the first time in hours, looked at your best friend.
“We should put our robes on.”
Regulus looked at you before slightly nodding.
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The next few weeks in Hogwarts went on quickly, and you managed to avoid Regulus outside of class - and managed to ignore the ache his sudden “absence” caused in your heart. As you had decided on the train, you now sat next to Emmeline or Mary in class - neither of them thankfully asking you why you no longer sat next to Regulus. Regulus himself didn’t ask any questions either, and every time he tried to talk to you outside of class, you found an excuse to leave. He never insisted, however you would sometimes catch him looking at you in class, which secretly kept you awake at night, wondering if after all, Regulus might like you. Spending time with Emmeline, and Mary was nice, as they were funny, nice, and always made sure to include you, but deep down you were missing Regulus, his voice, his presence and your conversations more and more with each day passing. 
One day, you were on your way back to your dorm after a study session in the library when you heard laughs in the next corridor. As you got closer, you recognized the voices, and you were eventually proven right in your guessing when you walked past Sirius, Regulus’ brother, and his friend James Potter. The latter didn’t see you, too busy laughing at some joke, but Sirius noticed you. 
“Hi, y/n,” he said, walking to you. “You all right?”
“Yes.”
You knew Regulus didn’t like you speaking to Sirius, but deep down you always thought he wasn’t as bad as Regulus thought of him and you actually respected his courage to stand up to his family. Plus, in the few interactions you guys had, he had been nothing but polite and kind to you, so you didn’t have any reason to hate him. 
“Cool. Had a good summer?” 
“Yes, thank you. Yours?”
You knew through Regulus that Sirius had left the family’s house and thought it would be inappropriate to mention that you knew, as it wasn’t really any of your business. 
“Great. And how is school so far?”
You were about to answer when another voice was heard in the corridor. 
“y/n!”
Your heart almost sank as you heard Regulus quickly walking up to you, and you finally dared to look at him, you saw he was angry. 
“What’s going on?” he asked you before turning to his elder brother. “Why are you talking to her?” 
Far from being intimidated, Sirius raised his shoulders and frowned, while his friend James slowly got closer to him.
“And why not? Plus, I don’t really see why she would need your permission,” he answered before giving you a reassuring wink.
Regulus gave him a death stare before he suddenly grabbed your arm. 
“Come, y/n.” 
Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but you slightly shook your head, meaning it was okay. You knew Regulus better than everyone else, and knew he would never hurt you in any way - well, other than the fact he didn’t love you back, that was. You followed Regulus into several corridors before he stopped walking and turned to you.
“What was that?” he asked as if he was both shocked and confused.
“Your brother and I were just talking,” you said calmly.
“Oh, so you speak to him, but you won’t speak to me?” 
“Well,” you said, trying to act detached, “we are talking now, aren’t we?”
Regulus had a false amused small laugh, “You know very well what I meant. Ever since we’ve gotten here, no, ever since we got into the train, you won’t speak to me or even look at me. Do not think I didn’t notice how you always sit next to your friends in class, and that when we aren’t in class, I don’t know where you are most of the time.”
You couldn’t help but feel joy knowing Regulus did notice the distance between you two, 
“I’ve just been busy,” you lied. “Is that a crime?”
“No, but I’d like to know which crime I did for you to ignore and avoid me in such manner.” 
“You didn’t do anything,” you said in a reassuring tone. “I’ve just thought that… I should spend more time with the girls. That’s all.” 
 Regulus stared at you, and you feared for a second that he didn’t believe you.
“Then, can we go back to how things were before? You…Is there any way you could spend time with the girls and me?” 
He sounded so sad, hurt even, that you felt your heart break and felt immensely guilty for how you treated him and how alone he must have been - even more considering you did that only to get over him and it didn’t work at all. In that moment, the only thing you wanted was to be in his arms.
“Of course. I’m sorry, Reggie,” you said with a small, sad smile. “Truly.”
You didn’t know if it was going to be easy to be around Regulus again, but maybe it was time to think about another solution. Maybe I could give him hints? Or maybe just try to make him jealous? Or maybe I could simply not care anymore and just tell him how I…
“It’s okay, y/n. I’m glad to have my best friend back.”
You froze, and so did your heart.
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“Girls, you won’t believe who asked me on a date today!”
You and Mary were in the common room after a long day of class - which you spent next to Regulus - sitting on one of the sofas and Emmeline was now coming back from giving back a book to the library, with pink cheeks and a great smile on her face. 
“Who?” you asked with curiosity. 
“Marius!” she said excitedly. 
“No way!” Mary said, putting her books down. 
“Yes!” Emmeline said, both hands on her heart. “We’re going to Hogsmeade tomorrow afternoon.”
“We’re happy for you,” you smiled. 
“You two should find boyfriends too, you know,” Emmeline said, sitting between you and Mary. “Not anybody, of course. You deserve the best. He obviously needs to come from a good and respectable family.”
Emmeline was a Rowle, and while she had a kind heart, she had been raised to believe she should marry a man from a wealthy Pure-Blood family - a belief your family and Mary’s didn’t share - and Marius Avery, from your class, while being an overall polite and quiet student, just also happened to fit that criterion. However, you always had a bad feeling about him, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.
“As long as he’s a good man himself,” you said, going back to reading your book, “his family doesn’t matter to me.”
“y/n is right,” Mary said. “Wealth and blood doesn’t matter.”
“As you wish, ladies. Still, we need to find you boyfriends. y/n, what do you think about dear Evan?”
You turned your head to look at the light-haired boy from your class, chatting with one of his friends on the other side of the room. You didn’t look at him for long, but still enough for him to notice, look back at you and give you a smile. 
You smiled back at him and felt your cheeks becoming hotter. While ignoring and avoiding Regulus, you had been exploring other options, and Evan had definitely one of them. You admit he was rather cute, with his green eyes, great smile and sand hair, and you only had warm conversations with him through the years - your feelings to Regulus not allowing you to feel anything else but fondness for Evan or any other boy in school. 
“He’s nice.” 
“And?” Emmeline insisted, raising an eyebrow. 
“‘And’ nothing else,” you retorted patiently. 
“Marius and he are best friends,” Emmeline continued, apparently not caring about your non-interest, “I could ask him tomorrow about it.”
“Emmeline, please,” you sighed.
“What? Do you have someone in mind?” Emmeline asked. “Is it Regulus?” 
“What?! No!” you immediately protested, trying to keep your normal voice. “Reggie and I…are just friends.”
Emmeline shrugged and turned to Mary.
“What about you, Mary? Any boy you like?”
You went back to reading your books about magical creatures, grateful Emmeline was now playing matchmaker for somebody else. Regulus arrived in the common room at that moment, and you two went to the Great Hall for dinner while Emmeline and Mary stayed in the common room. A few days had passed since your conversation with him, and everything seemed to be back to normal, except he was now spending time with other boys from your class while you were with the girls and you were know sure Regulus only saw you as his best friend - because if he felt anything else for you, he would have told you after seeing you with Sirius, wouldn’t he? It had made you cry at night, and also made you want to avoid Regulus again, especially since you now felt uncomfortable around him - and basically had lost your appetite. The only option was now to move on, as you were now too scared that trying to make him jealous would fail and were sure you couldn’t endure the heartbreak and it would mean the end of your friendship with Regulus. 
Maybe Emmeline is right, you thought in your bed that night, making sure she was asleep before allowing yourself to cry. Maybe I should get to know Evan better. 
The next morning, you would have stayed the whole day in bed feeling sorry for yourself. But knowing the girls would come looking for you at some point, you decided to go to the Great Hall for breakfast, and as it was still early, there were only a few students there. You sat down on the table, looking down on your empty plate. 
“Hi, y/n”
Lost in your thoughts - who were mainly about a dark-haired boy with green eyes - you didn’t hear Evan coming. 
“Oh, hi, Evan. How are you?”
“Good, thank you. Do you mind if I sit?” 
“Not at all, please do.”
He gave you a smile and sat on the opposite bench. He served himself some breakfast, and you imitated him, even though the usual tasty food tasted like ash in your mouth and you felt your stomach closing itself. 
“So, any plans for this weekend?” he asked, serving you both pumpkin juice. 
“Thank you. Well, no, I don’t really have plans. You?” you answered.
“Same.” 
He seemed to hesitate a bit before clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair. 
“Well, I…Maybe we could go for a drink in Hogsmeade?” he asked with a nervous voice. “I mean, I think it’s a shame that we’ve been classmates for years and don’t know each other much.” 
Speechless, you stared at him, and soon his cheeks became pink in embarrassment. 
“Hum, just forget it,” he mumbled, lowering his head, “I understand if you don’t want to go…” 
“No!” you said a bit too loudly, and his eyes were immediately filled with hope. “I mean, of course I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with you! I’m sorry, I was just surprised.” 
“Great. Actually, do you have anything to do right now?” he suddenly asked. “‘Cause why wait? We could go right now.”
Surprised again, it took you a few seconds to answer, “Hum, yeah! Absolutely,” you nodded. “I’ll just grab a jacket and my purse in my dorm and we meet in the common room?” 
“Perfect,” Evan smiled again. 
You both had finished eating, so you went directly to the common room, which was empty. Barty went to his dorm and you went to yours, and after brushing your teeth and grabbing what you needed, you went back to the common room, but this time, Regulus was here, sitting on a sofa and apparently waiting for someone. You approached him, thinking you could at least tell him you wouldn’t be free today. 
“Hi, Reggie.” 
He raised his eyes and gave you a smile. 
“Hi, you. Already had breakfast?”
“Yes. You?”
“Not yet,” he shook his head, “I’m waiting for Alexander and Dorius, then I’m gonna help them do the homework for Slughorn. You know, what we did on Thursday. Ah, here they are.” 
You nodded, and suddenly heard two people coming from the dorms. It was indeed Alexander and Dorius, who were like Regulus from the Sacred Twenty-Eight - respectively from the Avery the Mulciber family.
“Wanna come with us?” Regulus asked, standing up.
“Um, I’m sorry, I have things to do.” 
“You sure?” he asked. 
You nodded with the most confident smile you could force your mouth to make.
“Alright. I’ll see you later, then,” he smiled, and squeezed your shoulder as he brushed past you to leave the common room. Seconds later, Evan arrived with quick steps.
“I’m so sorry for making you wait,” he said. “I couldn’t find my jacket.”
“It’s okay,” you smiled.
“Should we?”
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Spending time with Evan was surprisingly very enjoyable, as you found him to be kinder and warmer than you already thought he was. He also acted like a true gentleman, offering you flowers from the village’s flower shop, and his conversation was always funny or interesting - and sometimes both. You also could feel he was a bit shy, which made him adorable. 
“Wanna go to the Three Broomsticks?” he asked. 
“Sure,” you said.
He smiled at you, and opened the door for you.
“Madam.”
“Thank you, good sir.”
You both had a small laugh before he followed you in, and you sat at a free table near a corner of the room for a bit more privacy, but you could still see the door from where you were sitting.
“Thanks again for the flowers,” you said with genuine thankfulness, “they’re beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you, but you’re more than welcome.” 
Mrs. Rosmerta took your order and gave you a wink, probably thinking you and Evan were on a date. 
“What do you want to do next?” he asked. “We could go see the Shrieking Shack, unless you want to go back to the castle?”
“Your pick,” you said. 
Evan laughed, and you were surprised to find that his laugh was as cute as he was. 
The conversation continued, and you were focused on what he was saying when the door of the pub opened, and you almost choked on your drink when you saw Regulus coming in, followed by Alexander and Dorius. 
“You okay?” Evan asked, frowning.
“Yes, yes. Sorry.”
You tried to put yourself against the wall so Regulus couldn’t see you, but as his friends went to the bar, he looked around the room and froze when he saw you - and from where he was, there was no chance he didn’t see Barty as well. Feeling panic rushing over you, you tried to act as if you didn’t see him and instead looked at Barty’s glass, was thankful when you saw it was empty. 
“Should we go? A new restaurant opened at the end of the street, maybe we could have lunch there?”
“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard about it. Let me go pay for the drinks.”��
Usually you would propose to pay, but going to the bar would mean the impossibility of avoiding Regulus and an uncomfortable conversation. You rose from your chair and went outside despite the cold wind, but only a few seconds later, the pub’s door opened and Reggie was now standing in front of you. 
“What are you doing here with him?” he asked.. 
His tone was barely a bit more confused than usual, but words still had a hard time coming out.
“I…We…We’re just hanging out.”
“Is this a date?”
“I…I don’t know if he sees it…”
“I don’t care about what he thinks,” Regulus cut you off harshly, “do you see it as a date?”
“I don’t know!” you answered in the same tone. “What does it matter to you anyway? Shouldn't you be helping your friends with their homework?”
“Alexander didn’t feel like doing it,” Regulus spoke quickly, “but don’t try to change the subject, this is about you and Evan, since when do you hang out with him?” 
“Since I’ve wanted to! Regulus, I do not need your permission to talk to Sirius or to hang out with any boy I want!”
Regulus opened his mouth to answer, but no word came out. He looked at the ground for a second, his face and eyes hardening, before staring at you with angry eyes. 
“Very well.”
Before you could answer, Regulus turned heels and went back inside the pub, slamming the door behind him. Not even a minute later, Evan came out, frowning.
“Is everything all right? Did Regulus talk to you?”
You nodded, “Yes. He just had a…question.”
Evan looked unsure, but didn’t say anything.
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The next day, you were getting ready in your dorm when someone knocked at your door. Expecting Emmeline coming to ask you questions about your day with Evan, you opened the door, but it wasn’t her. Instead stood Regulus, with flowers in one hand.
“Reggie?”
“y/n. I hope I’m not bothering you.”
“No, no, come in.” 
Regulus gave you a small smile and entered your room, and you saw his expression change when his eyes met your desk and the bouquet Evan gave you yesterday. 
“These are for you,” he said, handing you the flowers.
“Thank you so much, Reggie,” you smiled. “You shouldn’t have, they’re beautiful.” 
“I was really surprised to see you with Evan,” he continues as you put the flowers in a vase. “I’ve never seen you hang out with him.”
“He’s nice,” you shrugged. 
Regulus gave you a nod, “And…Do you want to see him again?” 
The question took you off guard. “Well, I…I don’t know, I…I mean, even if I see Evan again, it doesn’t have to mean anything. Him and I could just remain friends.” 
I should really talk to him to see how he sees it. Regulus remained silent, only staring at you. 
“Well, I have Quidditch practice,” he said. “Can we have lunch together after?” 
“I’d love to,” you nodded with a smile. 
Regulus smiled back at you, and left. You could feel something was off with him, but maybe it was just because he felt guilty for the argument you had yesterday? You tried not to think much of it, as you didn’t want to get your hopes up. A few minutes later, Emmeline and Mary came to your door, asking you if you wanted to do your homework together - however, while it was not the first time the three of you did that, you knew very well Emmeline would take that opportunity to ask you about your time spent with Evan. 
“Sooo, y/n,” Emmeline said with an amused and curious tone, “a little bird told me you spent the day with a certain blond boy from our class.”
“How was it?” Mary asked kindly. 
“It was nice,” you shrugged. “Evan is very kind, and we had a good time.” 
“Did he kiss you?” Emmeline asked abruptly. 
“Emmeline!” Mary protested.
“What? I’m just asking,” she raised her shoulders before turning back to you, “you better be prepared for it, girl, because I heard Evan and Marius last night, and he really liked your time together, so much so that he plans on courting you and asking you to be his girlfriend.”
“What?” you said in a whisper. 
“It’s a bit early, isn’t it?” Mary frowned. 
“Yes!” you said with panic in your voice. “Of course it is! We’ve spent barely a day with each other and it’s not like we talked that much before that!”
“Calm down, y/n,” Emmeline said, a bit confused by your reaction, “if you think things are going too fast, just tell him. He seems to really like you, so he probably won’t mind.” 
You sighed and did your homework in silence, and the subject quickly shifted to something else. Once you were done, you noticed Regulus would soon be back from practice, so you put back your things in your dorm before going to the Great Hall to wait for him. Next time, I’ll go watch the practice like I used to. But, on your way, you heard someone calling for you.
“y/n!”
You froze, and turned to see Evan almost running towards you. 
“What’s up, Evan?”
“I just wanted to say I really had a good time yesterday.”
“Me too,” you smiled. 
“And I was wondering if we could hang out again sometime? We could, I don’t know, have a picnic near the Black Lake or go to Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop? Or do anything you want, really.”
You were about to politely refuse, or at least tell him that it would only be as friends, but suddenly Regulus’ “I’m glad to have my best friend back.” came back to your mind. 
“Actually, I’d really love that,” you answered with a genuine smile. 
“Brilliant. I’ll see you later, then.”
You nodded vividly, and without thinking, got on your toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. His blue gaze shifted, and he turned around and left after giving you a smile. Why not? Maybe it’s worth giving it a shot. A half-smile on your lips, you turned heels to enter the Great Hall but your heart skipped a beat when you saw Regulus standing in the corridor. 
“Hi, Reggie.” 
Why did your voice have to be shaking? 
He only greeted you with his head, not speaking a word, and you two went to sit at the Slytherin table.
“How was practice?” 
“Good.”
He usually would give you details or just tell you how he did, but apparently he didn’t feel like it today.
“Did something happen?” you asked. 
“No,” he said coldly, only looking at his plate. 
His sudden cold behaviour made you too nervous to insist or ask other questions, and you also didn’t want to make him angrier than he already seemed to be, so you kept silent. You guys were almost done eating when he spoke again.
“What did Evan want?”
“Um, he wanted to ask if we could hang out again sometime.”
Regulus nodded, “That’s nice. Did you accept?”
“Yes.”
He nodded again, and his mouth turned an unusual smile.
“I’m happy for you, y/n.” 
And with that, he got up and left, leaving you more confused than ever.
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The week that followed was normal, spent between classes, homework, Emmeline’s constant and annoying teasing and questions and Regulus acting strangely. While you guys spend time together, he always seemed elsewhere and somehow full of melancholy. You had asked him if something was wrong, but he had said no. Evan, who now would sometimes smile at you in class, had also asked you to go to Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop on Saturday, and here you were, sitting among other couples. The place was nice, and Evan was still as kind as ever - even showing up with flowers again. You had done your best to focus and enjoy your time with him through the whole afternoon, but your mind kept coming back to Regulus and his attitude. 
“I didn’t think this place would be that nice,” Evan said. “I had never come here before.”
“Me neither,” you said. 
He gave you a smile, and soon after proposed to go to Honeydukes, as he had promised one of his friends to buy some sweets for him. You went in too, and bought Regulus’ favorite sweets with the hope that it would cheer him up - or that you two could at least share a moment of closeness and laughs with your stomachs full of sugar. 
You then both decided to go back to the warmness of the castle, and were mostly alone on your way back.
“I had a great time today, y/n,” he spoke, suddenly stopping.
“Me too,” you assured him. 
He looked at you, and before you had time to take another breath, he got closer, bent over and pressed his lips on yours. Your first instinct was to protect yourself, but after you realized what happened, the kiss started to feel a bit nice and you even kissed Evan back before he pulled away. You were now breathless and still processing the fact that you had your first kiss. 
“I’m so sorry,” Evan said. “I know I should have asked, but…I couldn’t help it. I really like you, y/n. Actually, I…I’ve liked you since last year.” 
Your eyebrows rose in surprise, “Really?” 
“Yeah,” he said, running his hand through his light hair in embarrassment, “I never asked you out because I thought you and Regulus were dating or something.”
You felt your heart sink and gulped.
“No, we…There was nothing between us.”
“Can’t say I’m not glad of it,” Evan had a half-smile. “Shall we?”   
You both went back to the castle, hand in hand, and sat in the common room. You somehow felt a bit overwhelmed with both Evan’s kiss and confession, and also by the fact that you were starting to think that things were going a little bit too fast. Maybe I should tell him? I can’t date him if I’m not fully over Reggie yet. You took a deep silent breath and turned to him.
“Evan? Can I tell you something?”
“Of course, beautiful.”
“I’m really enjoying our time together,” you started, “and I’m glad you told me about your feelings, but…”
“We’re going too fast,” he completed.
You nodded, and he had a small smile.
“I understand, don’t worry. It’s true this whole thing is really recent, so if you want us to take our time, I’m totally fine with it.”
You felt relieved, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you, Evan.” 
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A few weeks later, it felt like, except classes, everything else had changed. You now spent a lot of your time with Evan, who was still as sweet as ever, while the rest was spent between Emmeline and Mary. As for Regulus, you had noticed that as time passed, he had become more and more distant. While you didn’t think much of it - after all, he also disliked when you spent time with Emmeline and Mary back then - but it still made you sad and ashamed - sad, because you disliked the distance between the two of you, and ashamed, because you were more or less officially dating Evan now, but didn’t tell Regulus, and kept saying you were just “friends” instead. You tried your best to spend time with him, or just ask him how he was doing, but it was now his turn to avoid you, always finding an excuse to spend as little time with you as possible. And the few times he couldn’t leave, he was polite but cold, only answering your questions with short answers and focusing on something else. It started to annoy you a lot, and you planned on getting him somewhere he couldn’t escape from to finally get him to tell you what was wrong with him. 
But you also felt scared, because the more time you spent with Evan, the more your feelings for him started to grow. He now had the habit of coming to your dorm to kiss you goodnight every night, and you had even taken the initiative to kiss him a few times when you two were alone, and he was more than delighted. He didn’t seem to mind that you guys weren’t official yet, and for that you were thankful. But you also felt guilty to think and worry about Regulus - and having the kind of thought someone with a boyfriend shouldn’t have - and not be able to focus solely on Evan and your relationship. 
That said, Evan was so sweet and patient, and it made you want to make some effort too, and you were starting to think that maybe, going public wasn’t that bad. After all, you were not ashamed of Evan or your relationship. So, why not? A little voice inside your head was telling you only did that because of your guilt, but you ignored it, and one day after classes, you asked for Evan’s attention by touching his arm, and when he turned his head to you, you gestured for him to go into an empty corridor. He seemed pleasantly surprised, and had the usual small, serine smile he always gave you. You put your arms around his neck, and he soon wrapped his arms around your waist. 
“I’ve had an idea,” you said with a smile.
“Oh, really?” he said. “Should I be worried?”
“No. Actually, I…I thought it was maybe time to…not hide anymore?” 
Evan’s eyebrows raised and his blue eyes started glowing. “Really?”
You nodded, and Evan’s hands left your waist to cup your cheeks and pull you into a deep kiss. You kissed him back, and after a few seconds, you heard footsteps. You instinctively pulled away from Evan, and when you turned your head, you felt your stomach drop when you saw a boy with familiar black curls and green eyes - green eyes that were now looking at you with confusion, anger and sadness at the same time. Without realizing it, your hands left Evan’s neck, and you stepped away from him. 
“Reggie, I-”
But before you could continue, Regulus turned around and left. 
“Reggie!”
You turned to Evan, suddenly feeling guilty.
“I’m sorry, I…I’ll see you later, okay?”
You didn’t give him time to answer, and went after your best friend. As you started catching up with him, you realized - or decided - that it was time to confront him and finally have a proper discussion. 
“Reggie, wait!”
You both were now in the common room, but thankfully there were only a few people at the moment. He finally stopped walking, and turned to you. You almost took a step back, as you had never seen him with such a closed, angry face. 
“Can we talk?”
He looked at you, and took a look around. “Not here. In your dorm.”
He started walking again, but this time it was easier for you to follow him. He walked through the common room and climbed the stairs that led to the dorms. He entered your dorm first, his back turned to you, and after coming in, you closed the door behind you. 
“Reggie,” you started, “I-”
“Was that your first kiss?” he cut you off. 
It was now your turn to be confused. “What?”
He turned to you, and your heart started beating faster. 
“Was that the first time you’ve kissed someone?” 
You opened your mouth, but no words came out. 
“Tell me!” Regulus demanded in a louder voice.
“No!” you answered in the same tone. “No, it wasn’t! Why?! I don’t understand why you’re so angry. Why does that concern you all of a sudden?”
Regulus closed his eyes, had a small sigh, and ran both his hands through his face. 
“It should have been me,” he muttered for himself. 
At first, you thought you heard him wrong, and frowned in disbelief.
“What?” 
What in Merlin’s name is happening now? Regulus looked at you, sighing again, but this time it seemed as if he had lost all his anger, and now looked at you with broken eyes. 
“It should have been me,” Regulus repeated. “Me. Your first kiss. Your first love. Me, y/n. Not him.”
All the annoyance his reaction had provoked inside you suddenly left your body, leaving only confusion. 
“But, Reggie…You see me as your best friend. Nothing else,” you said as if it was obvious. 
“My best friend?” Regulus’ eyes widened. “My best…”
He had a laugh - and you would have been angry again if you had been capable of it - and he shook his head.
“y/n,” he said patiently. “I’ve been madly, desperately in love with you since our third year.” 
Your heart almost stopped, and your knees suddenly felt weak. For a second you were scared to lose balance and fall, but you managed to keep your body standing. Your eyes went on the ground, taking in what Regulus just said, and you shook your head. 
“No. No, you…You never showed any…Never said…”
“I know. I was scared you didn’t feel the same way, scared it would ruin our friendship. I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t want to lose you, y/n, the mere thought broke me. You’re what I cherish the most in this life. Without you, I’d be lost.”
You felt tears burn in your eyes, and as you tried to take long breaths, you felt anger rise inside of you.
“I understand if it’s too late now,” Regulus continued. 
“You…You’re unbelievable.”
Regulus looked at you in confusion. “What-”
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me since I’ve started seeing Evan?”
“Yes. I- I had this feeling you were starting to fall in love with him, and it was tearing me inside. I know it’s childish, and I also hated not seeing you, but it was too hard, y/n.” 
“And how do you think I felt all these years, thinking you only saw me as your friend and thinking I wasn’t good enough?” you snapped. “Thinking nothing could ever happen between us because you didn’t share my feelings? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get over you, how scary to think I might watch you fall in love with another girl one day, and also how scary it is to think I could probably meet the best man on Earth and still think I would rather be with you? How guilty I felt that, despite being with a great man who admitted he loved me, my heart was also still somewhere else?”
“You wanted to get over me?” Regulus asked in a low, almost broken voice.
“At first it was impossible, no matter how hard I tried. But, after you asked me why I had been avoiding you and called me your best friend, I thought you didn’t share my feelings and started moving on with Evan, because he was sweet and had a good heart. We started going out in secret, but despite how much I wanted it to work you were always in the back of my mind, especially since you’ve been avoiding me. It made me sad, and I was so worried about you that I couldn’t focus on my relationship.” 
There was a moment of heavy, almost sad silence, before Regulus spoke again.
“Do you love Evan?” 
You sighed, “He’s a sweet boy, and I guess you two are alike in some ways. In other circumstances, he might have been the kind of boy I would have fallen for, and I admit I like him.”
Regulus had no reaction at first. You thought he was going to give up, tell you to be happy, but after a minute you noticed his body stiffening.
“I’ll fight for you.”
“What?”  
He stepped closer to you. “I’ll fight for you. Now that I know you feel the same as I do, I won’t let you go. Ever. I’ll do what it takes for you to love me again. There is no way I’ll let us be apart. I love you, y/n. More than life.” 
“Reggie-”
But his warm, soft hands suddenly cupped your face, making your heart beat faster, and put his forehead against yours.”
“Please, y/n. I can’t stand the distance between us anymore, and I can’t stand thinking that you’re not mine. Please, I’ll beg you if I must, but give me a chance. A chance to prove that I can be the man you both need and deserve.”
“Reggie, Evan…”
Reggie pulled his head away, though keeping it a few inches from yours, and slightly shook his head.
“Stay with him if you feel that you must, but know I will not ever give up on you. Be it ten days, ten months or ten years, I’ll still be here, waiting for you to realize that you were destined to be mine, and I yours.” 
“Reggie, it’s not that easy-”
“Yes, it is! Don’t you see it?!”
And before you could say anything or take another breath, his hands were on both sides of your neck, his grip tight yet still gentle, and his lips crashed on yours. His kiss was desperate and starving, and awoke sensations you had never felt in your body. You soon kissed him back, suddenly also hungry for more, and Regulus immediately deepened the kiss, bringing your body close to his as much as possible. You didn’t have any idea how long the kiss lasted, but after a while, your lips and his parted, and you were both breathless. 
“You can’t imagine how many nights I’ve spent imaging kissing you,” he whispered. “How your lips would taste, how it would feel…How it would feel to feel you love me back…”
You sighed, realizing you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore. 
“I do love you, Reggie.” 
It seemed almost stupid now that you thought you could love another. You were doomed to love this kind, sweet, quiet boy for the rest of your life, whether you wanted it or not. 
“Then allow us to be together.” 
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
You came back to your dorm feeling better than when you left it. Fortunately, Evan had taken the breakup very well, but seeing him clearly upset hurt you more than you thought it would. Regulus had asked to come with you, but you knew Evan wouldn’t hurt you, and you felt like you had to finally take responsibility. Reggie was sitting on your bed and his eyes were curious when you walked in. 
“How did it go?” 
“As good as it could,” you sighed. “But it was necessary. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I lied to him. He deserves better.” 
Regulus nodded, and feeling you still felt guilty about Evan, he reached out his hands, and when you took them, he made you sat on his lap, wrapping his hands around you. 
“You’re right. I’m sure he’ll get over it quickly, he’s not as emotional as he may seem.” 
“What do you mean?” you frowned.
“Well, I’ve heard several times that he doesn’t seem to be affected by things. For not long, at least. But it’s just what people say, it might not be true after all.” 
You gave him a nod but remained silent. 
“I know it was hard,” he said gently. “And I know how much you hate hurting other people. But now, we can focus on what really matters.”
“Us.” 
“Yes. I know things have been tense between us these past few weeks, and I hated every second of it. But it’s in the past now. Now that we’ve been true with each other, it will be better. Better than they ever had been.”
You nodded in approval, and he gave you a kiss on the cheek. You started better under his touch, and suddenly had an idea.
“Reggie?”
“Love?”
“Can we…” you hesitated, but he encouraged you to continue, “Can we cuddle?”
Reggie’s mouth parted in the cutest, happiest smile. “Of course.”
You got up, allowing him to take off his shoes and robe, leaving him in his white buttoned shirt and green and silver tie. He then laid on your bed, and after doing the same as him, you put your head on his chest and put your hand on one side of his neck. One of his hands was on your lower back and the other around your shoulder, with both his thumbs gently stroking you. Once you were fully comfortable and stopped moving, you felt him sigh in contentment, and he put his cheek against your hair. 
“Every time I came here,” he said in a lower voice, “I would imagine what it would be like to just lay there and hold you in my arms like that.”
“I imagined it too,” you whispered, and you felt him holding you tighter. “I never thought it would actually happen.” 
“I’m sorry, my love. Truly.”
“Don’t apologize.” 
You raised your head to give him a gentle yet loving kiss, before putting it back on his chest. Despite not feeling tired, you closed your eyes, feeling more at peace and happy than you ever did. After a few hours of just staying here, happily holding each other, you went down to dinner, and thankfully didn’t run into Evan - Reggie and you had agreed to wait a few days before making your relationship known out of respect for him. Dinner was spent talking and laughing like you had done all these years, and you could have almost cried of how it felt to have things really go back to normal. Once you were both finished, you guys immediately went back to your dorm, and spent the rest of the night cuddling, kissing, whispering sweet things to each other while eating sweets. You eventually started falling asleep with Reggie’s body pressed against yours, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head in your hair. 
You woke up the next morning in the exact same position, except that Reggie’s leg was now over yours, as if to stop you from leaving the bed. Still half asleep, you managed to turn around to face him, and saw how adorable he looked when he slept. You resisted the urge to caress his face and his soft dark curls, too scared to awake him. But after a short moment, Reggie started moving, and his eyes slowly opened. He immediately smiled when he saw you, and you couldn’t help but smile back. 
“Morning, handsome,” you whispered, kissing his nose.
“Morning, love,” he yawned. “Slept well?”
“Perfectly. You?”
“Perfectly as well. We should go for breakfast, it’s probably like 10 am,” you added with a laugh. 
“Want to have it here instead?” he asked, suddenly completely awake. “I could go in the kitchens and bring some food here.” 
“It’s okay, Reggie,” you smiled, “we can just down there with the others.
“But I wanna stay here with you,” he pouted, and his adorable child-like expression made you laugh. “Alright, we’ll go down for breakfast, but today is free, and I want us to have a special lunch.”
“Of course,” you assured him. 
He kissed you before allowing you to leave bed, and after you both showered and got ready, you went down to the Great Hall. After breakfast, you spent the rest of the morning in your dorm, quickly finishing the homework you both hadn’t done yet and cuddled again before Reggie left, giving you a kiss and telling you to meet him fifteen minutes later by the entrance’s hall. 
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
“y/n!” 
You turned to see Emmeline and Mary walking towards you, dressed in their winter clothes. 
“We’re going to go shopping at Hogsmeade, wanna join us?” Emmeline said.
“Oh, hum,” you said, “no, sorry, I’m waiting for Reggie, we’re gonna have lunch by ourselves.” 
“Like a date?” Mary asked with a kind smile.
“What?” Emmeline retorted. “But I thought you and Evan were this close to be dating. What happened?”
“Evan was nice, but I don’t think it would have worked between us,” you shook your head. “Also, I haven’t spent time with Reggie in weeks, and I want to change that.”
As you said that, you saw Reggie coming, with a basket in his hand. You smiled goodbye to the girls, and followed Reggie near the stairs, resisting the urge to hold his hand. You followed him to the third floor of the castle, and you wondered what he had in mind until a large door appeared in front of him, and you finally realized this was the Room of Requirement. He opened the door, and invited you inside.
“Madam.”
You smiled at him before coming in, and gasped. The room was decorated with candles, flowers and Christmas decorations all around and, in the middle of the room, a large picnic blanket with several large pillows. On the opposite wall, a fire was burning in a marble chimney. 
“Reggie! It’s so beautiful.”
“Well, thank you, sweetheart, but I didn’t do anything. Though I have to say, I exactly had that in mind. 
You sat down on the picnic blanket, and when you opened the basket and saw all that Reggie had taken - sandwiches, cheese, some fruits, different kinds of small cakes, pumpkin juice, hot chocolate, Christmas biscuits - you couldn’t help but give him a thankful kiss. 
“It looks good, Reggie.” 
“Help yourself, love.” 
You both started eating while chatting and laughing, and you didn’t know how much you had missed laughing and talking with him until that moment. Once the basket was empty - because apparently being happy and in love made you hungrier - you got closer to Reggie, putting your head on his shoulder. He immediately kissed your forehead, gently putting you between his legs, with your back against his chest and his hands around you. You immediately felt your body relax and your heart beat faster. 
“I could stay here all day,” you said.
“It’s Saturday, love. We absolutely could. And, to be honest, spending the day here with you in my arms sounds like the perfect day.” 
He nuzzled your nose, which made you giggle. However, as you looked at the Christmas decorations around the room, it reminded you that Christmas break was soon, and that both Reggie and you would have to go back to your respective homes. You knew your parents would love Reggie if they ever met him, but you couldn’t say the same for his own parents. You must have been lost in your thoughts longer than you thought, as Reggie gave you a quick kiss on the temple. 
“What are you thinking about, beautiful?”
“Do you think your parents would love me?” 
“Oh.”
You shook your head, “Yeah, I know, it’s probably too soon to think about that. I’m sorry.” 
“No, you’re right,” Reggie answered. “You’re gonna have to meet them one day if we’re gonna get married.”
“Reggie!” you turned to him, chuckling and turning to face him. 
“What? I was serious, y/n. I’m never gonna you let you go. You’re the only person I will ever be with. You were meant to be mine, and I was meant to be yours.” 
He leant to kiss you, and you realise that he was right. You and Reggie were meant to be together no matter what.
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sundew199 · 12 days ago
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Birthday present
a/n: just smth cute to celebrate Zoro's birthday ♡
tags: Roronoa Zoro x f!reader, fluff, dad!zoro, family dynamics, post-canon
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His hands shook as he wiped them from on the sides of his pants, clammy and moist from the nervous sweat he had broken out into as he waited.
It'd been a couple of hours since he received word that you'd gone into labor, caught up in a class and doing his best to rush back to the compound where the two of you lived. The whole day had been a mess, Zoro not anticipating you'd be close to delivering when he agreed to teach a class halfway across the island almost a year ago. Oh well, he can't go back and change the past, all he could do now was apologize and make up for it somehow.
"Everything went smoothly."
Not even hearing the door to the bedroom open, let alone spot the doctor slipping out of the room, snapping Zoro's restless thoughts back to the present. The man looked kind and forgiving, features creasing soft in a reassuring smile as he patted Zoro's arm.
"I'll give you all the time you need, congratulations."
Zoro barely smiled at the doctor as he turned down the hall away from the bedroom Zoro stood outside of. There shouldn't be any reason why he was nervous, right? I mean this wasn't a surprise, sort of planned and wanted so he should just go in and forget about everything swirling in his head. But his stomach flipped and churned and he wished he knew why.
Well. He can't stand out here for the rest of his life.
Slowly pulling back the shoji, slipping inside, Zoro just about melted seeing you cradle a small bundle in your arms, paired with the brightest and yet most tired smile he's seen on you.
"Hey." Falling to his knees beside the futon, grasping the back of your head and placing a kiss on your cheek. "I'm so sorry, I tried to get here as fast as I could."
A soft hand came to silence whatever else might've come out of his mouth next, gently laughing and kissing his cheek back, making the unease in his veins simmer into nothing.
"It's okay, this was kind of unexpected, for everyone."
Zoro cumbersomely laughed, pressing his forehead to yours and then following it with a kiss, reassured to know you weren't upset with him for missing the birth of his first child. You began to scoot over to make room for him, adjusting the baby in your arms and giving Zoro a brief glance. Shit he felt so emotional, a lump rising in his throat and finding no way to make it go away.
Slowly your hand moved the loose blanket swaddled around the baby out of the way so Zoro could see them properly. They were sleeping soundly in the comfort of your arms, it almost didn't look or feel real that he was a father now. He'd hope the realization would've set in sooner, but at the same time the overwhelming sensation coursing through him felt other worldly.
"Can I?" Asking nervously, watching you break out into a small laugh at his question to hold his own child, but Zoro was nervous and it couldn't be helped.
"Of course."
The exchange felt like it was in slow motion, Zoro something of a giant to this new life and instantly on pins and needles when the baby was placed in his arms. Moving as carefully as he could while sitting on the edge of the futon, Zoro looked at you with misty eyes, not quiet crying but overflowing with joy.
"It's a boy by the way."
Hearing you whisper the sweet words and smiling even harder, looking back down again at the baby and adjusting his hold to where he could move the blanket further away from their face. His son made little faces at the adjustments, worrying Zoro for a moment but calming when he continued to sleep.
"I meant to get you a proper gift, but I hope this is okay for now."
Quicker than he could process, Zoro was twisting to look at you fully, uncertainty taking over in his expression.
"Gift? What are you talking about?"
Your sweet laugh confused him further, wondering what you were talking about. Subtly, you scooted closer, hooking your chin over his shoulder and throwing an arm around the other, pressing your cheek to his as you both admired the sleeping baby in his arms.
"It's your birthday today."
Oh.
Oh-
Zoro slightly turned his head with wide eyes, the reminder dawning on him in that moment and suddenly he felt emotions he couldn't find proper words for. His birthday wasn't anything he cared much for, just another year getting older, but he did like the excuse of getting to drink as a form of celebration. He'd been so focused on you and the dojo that his birthday didn't even cross his mind once.
"Shit it is isn't it?"
Lips vibrated on his cheek as you kissed him with another laugh, running your fingertips along his shoulder and humming peacefully.
"Mhm. You don't mind sharing a birthday do you?" Asking with a bit of humor in your tone, pulling the corner of Zoro's mouth into a firmer smile.
"No," Moving to fully turn and face you now, getting himself properly adjusted on the futon next to you, checking in on his son still fast asleep. "Probably just made my birthdays more memorable from here on out."
With his free hand, Zoro cupped one side of your face, locking you into a deep kiss, stroking his thumb over your cheek bone when he pulled away.
"It's not going to bother me, but we never know how he'll feel about it when he's older." Motioning down towards the newborn baby with his chin, breathily chuckling at his own comment.
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see." Leaning over to kiss the top of your son's head, proceeding to give Zoro a quick kiss as well before curling up into his side carefully, running your hand across the soft newborn hair with your fingers.
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littlemssam · 5 months ago
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Since not everyone saw my latest Statement on Discord yesterday, I wanted to post it here as well, and I also want to clear a few things up.
For those who do not know what this is about, I made a post that I should not have, or at least I should have phrased it in a way where the meaning is clearer. The Post I made was "Since I was one of those that got tagged in there, I can just say that I will not partake in any Anti Israel Pro Hamas Propaganda, and I will most certainly not forget what Hamas did Oct 7th like a lot of these ppl seem to do." I now see that the way I phrased it made it seem like I feel that the attacks on Palestinian Civilians were/are justified, and that is not what I meant, and I am deeply sorry about that. Edit: To make it clear I am against the Israel Government and Netanyahu, just like I am against Hamas. I am pro ceasefire now.
On June 25th I had to face the consequences in my Discord. A lot of ppl came in and confronted me about it. When the first ppl joined and started the confrontation, I did knee jerked again and banned the first three of them, because one of them insulted me and wrote that the attack on Oct 7 was made up. There were a few follow up bans of ppl, who also insulted me, but I did not ban anyone on purpose because they are Pro Palestine. There were also some Posts deleted that should not have been. It was not done by me personally, but I was also not fast enough and clear minded enough to stop it and I could not undo it, so I apologise for that as well.
I locked the Server down in the End, because it was 3 am for me and I was, and still am, very overwhelmed and exhausted, and the Server will stay down for a while. This is the latest Statement I made, and I know it will not be enough for everyone and I respect that.
"I did not mean to seem to take a stance that seems like I am pro-Israel as if I believe this is all their land (a Zionist). I do not want to condone the violence happening in the country right now or pretend that Palestinian lives don't matter. It was never intended in what I said. I did not mean to phrase things in a way that make me seem to be against the problems palestinians are facing in Gaza. I inserted myself into something I don't know enough about or how to talk about in an educated way, so I should have better not said anything at all. I am sorry that I did. I do feel it is wrong that some people feel like what happened on October 7 is fake and I have already had people say it is. I have banned people who have said so while attacking me. That is wrong. Those people died and it's sad, so too it is sad the people who are dying over the military actions of Israel in attacking the groups who did this causing a loss of Palestinian life without considering who will be hurt. I am not a Zionist. I am just someone who felt sickened by what happened in the attacks last year and didn't like how I see some people pretending that is all a hoax."
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theblueflower05 · 2 years ago
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First Love/ Late Spring
A/N: I had no right to listen to Mitski and write for Neteyam but here I am. I’ve been working on this on and off since December but finally decided to get serious and post it. Hope you guys like it!
Word Count: 5k+
Warnings: Masturbation(F receiving). Breeding Kink if ya really dig. Angst. Talks of self doubt and insecurity. All Characters are aged up 18+.
You are responsible for cultivating your own online experience, please do not interact if any of these tags are triggering to you. Minors DNI.
Summary: Neteyam has passed his Metkayinan Iknimaya, and is now free to choose a woman. Why did you ever think he would choose you? Neteyam X Na'vi Reader.
Series Masterlist(All parts can be found here)
Next> Crawling Back to You(Part Two)
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One word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I’m on, baby.
Tell me don’t so I can crawl back in- Mitski, First Love/Late Spring
As the beloved niece of the reigning Olo’eyktan, in your life you had wanted for nothing.
Had spent the last nineteen years in isolated bliss. The island of Awa’atlu and your tribes familiar inhabitants were all you knew. Your life moved to a steady beat, as sure as the morning eclipse. As rhythmic as the tides.
And you had been content, really you had. Too busy to be bored. Too beloved to truly dwell on the gap. On the absence of a mate no matter how much your Uncle; Tonowari urged you to accept one of the many offerings of courtship. Lonely maybe, but happy.
Useful. Focused.
Ever since the Sully’s arrival, you have felt anything but.
Descending from the skies on ikran back, they left plumes of sand in their wake. Shook up everything you had ever known as they stood there on the beach, adrift. Out of place, different then anything you had ever seen with their dark skin and thin tales. That morning had been a whirlwind of harsh words and brief but tense negotiations.
So much change had happened in such a small amount of time that it was hard to wrap your head around-
The leader of the Sully Tribe, Jake, had begged Uturu for his family. And ever benevolent, your Uncle Tonowari had granted it to them.
Overwhelmed by crowds, you don't recall much more of that day except for the desire to run away. To escape the strained aura’s of the hesitant clans people and the exhausted newcomers. You’d gone to away, eager to get back to your herbs and tinctures. To the safety of familiarity to digest the entire situation.
You’d been stopped in your tracks, rooted in place, by a pair of striking golden orbs.
A stare like none you’d ever known. His eyes resonated with you. Plucking a cord n your chest that echoed throughout the rest of your body. You’d never felt anything like it. Never been so affected by a stranger.
Never been so affected by anyone.
Even now, months later, thinking of Neteyam that look he’d given you on his first day here makes you hot. You dream about it, about him often. He plagues you, has taken up permanent space in your subconscious.
You wake most mornings to phantom touches. To his voice ringing in your ears and an empty bed mat that feels too cold.
This morning is no different. Your eyes flutter open with a gasp and your heart is beating madly in your chest.
It's early. You have only moments before you will be expected to wake and start your daily routine. Really, you should’ve been up by now-
Instead you lie in your corner of the family mauri, the privacy curtains pulled around your bed as you shoulder into the woven blankets. Your hands slip down- lower on your belly and into the dip of your tweng.
Between your legs you’re hot, soaked and pulsing as you always seem to be these days. Your clit swollen almost painfully as you press your fingers to it, rubbing firm little circles as you search for some kind of relief. Humping harshly into your small hand, cupping your sex desperately as you recall Dream Neteyam.
He’d pinned you to a tall palm, your belly pressing against the rough bark as buried his nose in your hair. All panting breaths and wandering hands.
“You’re so beautiful”
“I’m right here”
“Let me have you, I have to have you”
Dream Neteyam says all the things you want to hear as he ravages you. He’s sure footed, cocky in that way that you knew he could be. He’s pushy and needy and you’d give him anything if he asked for it, Eywa all he had to do is hint that he wanted it-
“Spread your legs for me, sevin ”
You bite your lips bloody, your fangs digging into them as your thick thighs clamp shut around your hands and your pussy spasms. You want to cry out as you come. Fight the urge to whine because it’s not enough, you’re still so empty.
Neteyam’s name is always on your tongue as you come down from your self induced high.
“Y/N? My Child, are you awake?”
There’s no time to bask in the afterglow, you wrench your hands away. Wiping the mess on your blankets as you shoot up straight-
“Yes? Yes. I’m coming, i’ll be out a minute” You try to keep your voice from breaking and just barley succeed.
Ronal who had peeked a head into the empty mauri isn't convinced, but accepts it anyway “Hurry now, we have to get going. The tide pools will be filling and we need to restock the sea-tsam(kelp like herbs), you haven't even eaten breakfast yet. Up!”
You only release the breath stuck in your chest when she’s scurrying back out of the home- one of these days you’re going to get caught.
Your people are free with their sexuality, there’s no shame in pleasure whether it be self inflicted or given by another. But it would make those pesky questions arise- if you’re so needy, Y/N- why do you refuse every eligible bachelor that comes your way?
You huff, thinking about that very thing as you get ready for the day. Bruising through your long hair almost violently as you chew it over.
If you need to be fucked so badly, why are you three years into adulthood without a mate? You don’t even have a possible suitor- your friends are having babies, building lives, and you’re still living with your family.
It used to be that you we’re hyper focused on your role in the clan. On your training as part of the Tsakarem. On preparing Tsireya for the day she reaches adulthood and takes over her mother’s title.
You had always been family oriented, and the clan had accepted it-
But now there were whispers. Inquiries, never spoken to you but always about you. It’s an oddity that such a pretty young woman with such high standing is choosing to be alone.
Is there something wrong with you?
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The only thing that’s wrong with you is your inability to focus on the most mundane of tasks as of late.
After a quick breakfast, you’d taken off. Determined to knock the long list of chores down.
You’d collected herbs until your fingers hurt and the satchel slung across your chest was full to the brim. You’d tended to the Elders, and checked in on the mother with newborns, still so fresh to the world that they’re connected to their Sa’nok kuru, constant Tsaheylu necessary at such a young age.
Healing isn't always glamorous, and while you’d much rather be mixing potions and sketching in your journals- you check fevers. Change chamber pots. Kiss the scraped knee’s of young ones.
You’re supposed to be heading back to the Healer’s Mauri, the large hut where Ronal waits for you-
But instead you get sidetracked.
It’s all you seem to do these days.
Lounging in the soft warm sand is so much easier then running around the village.
You’d come across your cousins who were circled by Roxto and the elder Sully’s, and it hadn't taken much convincing for you to tag along on whatever little adventure they had planned for the afternoon. It had led you to one of the smaller isles, a tiny thing that was mostly white sand beaches and deep rocky cove tunnels.
Lo’ak and Ao’nung practicing their breath holds, taking turns weaving through the underwater caves. The two had went from going for each others throat’s to thick as thieves, and your glad. Lo’ak’s troubled, but he’s not trouble. Not the way that your cousin's other asshole friends are.
Roxto and Neteyam wade through the crystal clear shallows, hunting for clams that are abundant at this time of year.
You’re sat with Kiri and Tsireya, the three of you staying in the beach and giggling about current clan gossip. Chattering endlessly.
Neteyam’s shoulders are broad and glisten in the bright afternoon sun. You can barely tear your gaze away from him. Hungrily, needing to glance back every few seconds-
“The celebration is in less then a month's time” Tsireya states, a small grin playing on her lips as she takes in the scene.
She knows about your feelings for the eldest Sully son, you’d confessed them to her in a fit one night. Unable to keep them caged in your chest anymore. She can understand the appeal- her own eyes had been glued to the family since the arrival.
What she can't understand is why you wont tell him- or at the very least why you’re being so damn shy about it. You had never been this demure before.
“I know, the preparations have been a real pain in my ass” You reply, turning on your side to face her. Arm bent at the elbow, chin propped in your hand. “Tonowari has me assisting with getting the ceremonial mats woven. It’s not fair”
“I think he just wants you to be…a more active participant this year” Tsireya chooses her words wisely, ignoring your side eye “It’s sweet”
“It’s annoying” you hiss, eyes rolling harshly. Your tail swishes behind you, a firm pat on the sand.
“This is the celebration that’s held for the hunters. The ones that pass their Iknimaya’s?” Kiri asks, intrigued. She’s inquisitive and you’d assured her early on that she could ask you anything, that you’d help her understand the customs of your people.
“Yes and it’s so much fun. You’ll see, the Hunters come back from Motnaui(ritualistic hunt) and we spend the day roasting their catch, thanking Eywa for her abundance. There’s dancing and singing- “ Tsireya’s eyes sparkle as she talks about it, glazed with nostalgia.
You let her rant a bit more before cutting her off, “And mating. Most of the hunters will stake their claim on any courtships that have been started”
Because yes, it is a celebration for the newly joined adults of the clan, but goes hand in hand with the fact that it is their first chance to choose a mate.
“We have something like this back in the forest, it's the start of Fertility Season right?” Kiri verifies and you nod. “Does it coincide with the rains here, too?”
“Mhmm, most newly mated pairs will spend the week or so tucked away…-” Tsireya’s cheeks get red and you roll your eyes.
“Coupling” You interject and she shoots you a look that has you tittering. Awe, your sweet young cousin, still a year away from her own Iknimaya. Innocent and shy when it comes to such topics.
Kiri doesn't look scandalized- she’d come to adulthood back in the forest. Though she hasn't chosen a mate she had partaken in many of the festivities.
“Yes, coupling” Tsireya continues. “Its all beautiful really, its my favorite time of year. Right after the return of the Tulkun of course”
Its nice listening to your cousin's version of the celebration. You think that yeah, your own view of it all used to be mostly the same. That was until you’d reached adulthood, and had spent the last cycles without a mate of your own. This week that Tsireya found so beautiful had just been wet for you. Yourself and other unmated , able bodied Na’vi took on the duties of the disposed clan members.
It was an honor to take care of your people while they were vulnerable.
It was embarrassing to have not found a mate of your own yet.
You wonder if this year you’d spend the week in the rain again.
“You don't seem excited” Kiri whispers and you force a smile onto your face almost instantly, not wanting to come off so extremely transparent.
“It’s not that I’m not-”
“Y/N hasn't mated yet”
“Obviously Tsireya, thank you for pointing that out” you deadpan at the girl but she continues on, not phased in the least by your attitude-
“But I do think that will change this year”
Kiri perks up, big eyes interested, a brow arched “Really? Has someone caught your eye? Every time any one even tries to start courting you, you give them the cold shoulder”
“That’s not true, I’m nice about it” you defend your actions “I just haven't been interested in any of their offers”
“‘Their’ being half of the unmated men in this clan” Kiri’s sarcasm rivals your own, you flick a small shell at her forehead.
“It hasn't felt right and Eywa wouldn't want me to settle. '' The words taste condescending as they roll off your tongue, you don't blame them for scoffing at you but it's true.
If you had accepted an offer in the past, you wouldn't be free to follow your hearts desire now…your eyes flick back to the shore. Back to the broad shoulders.
“I’m sure whoever you choose will be honored,” Kiri chuckles. “Surprised though, probably. I overheard a couple of Elder’s making bets that you’d make another suitor cry this year”
The peel of laughter that Tsireya lets out is shrill and loud,
Roxto and Neteyam’s heads turn, far out enough now that the surely cant hear the conversation but can hear the shrieks of joy. Roxto grins and signs something that you can't quite make out and Neteyam gives a small wave.
You can feel the big stupid smile on your face, it’s no surprise that Kiri acknowledges it.
“You didn't answer my question. Is there anyone in particular that you have your eye on?”
You gnaw on your bottom lip. You’d been wanting to run it past her for weeks. Desperate for her insight but too embarrassed to muster up the courage and ask for it.
“Tell her, tsmuk’tu” Tsireya urges gently.
“I have been hoping that…Neteyam might choose to court me. After his Iknimaya” You admit it, carefully watching her for her reaction. Your own ears are pressed to your head, your fingers winding around each other nervously.
“I was wondering why that idiot was going through his rites again” Kiri nods, like she’d found the missing piece of a puzzle.
One that she wasn't willing to share with the group.
“What’do you mean? If he wants to be a hunter, he has to” You point out the facts, the law of the village.
“Well yeah, but I mean look at how our dad did it. He didn't jump through all of the hoops, he just tamed his Skimwing on his own time. My brother has been adamant about wanting to be apart of ceremony”
You ingest Kiri’s words greedily, letting them expand in your chest. It’s hope, the fragile kind, the scariest kind.
“Maybe he just wants to prove himself as a hunter. We’ve heard his skill is legendary to the Omiticaya” you suggest and Tsireya pushes at your shoulder, shaking her head.
“Maybe” Kiri shrugs her shoulders “But mating is important to Neteyam. He’s always wanted a big family, I think he really idolized our parents' marriage. Mom said he must’ve taken an interest in a mate if he’s making such a big deal out of being a recognized adult here”
A big family. Neteyam wants to be a father.
The thought is heady. The seed has been planted in your head and you know there is no way that you will ever be able to dig it out.
“Do you think that-”
You're cut off by booming laughter, by clatter and chaos. Who else could it be but Ao’nung and Lo’ak coming back from the caves, they had the worst possible timing. You shoot daggers at your cousins fat head.
“What are you girls whispering about over here?” 'Nung teases as he drops next to you in the sand,
“That would be none of your business” You snipe, “Skxawng ass”
“Why so hostile, cuz?” Ao’nung starts “I was the one who invited you out here? You don't want to spend time with little ol’ me?”
“I spend too much time with you as is. I was hoping you had drowned down in those caves so I could get a break- NUNG!” you squeal as your cousin shakes his head, wringing out his wet hair all over you. The water is shockingly cold against your sun soaked skin.
Soon enough, Neteyam and Roxto come in from the waves, baskets full of multicolored shells. More than happy to share as they join the small circle.
“You had such a bountiful catch!” Tsireya applauds, happily accepting the oysters that Roxto offers.
You’re awkward around Neteyam on a good day- there's something so intimidating about his beauty. So tall and angular. But today? After the admittance you’d made to his sister? You can barely look at him.
You feel heavy and clunky and ugh, why does he make you so nervous? You’re playing with your hair, twisting the thick tendrils around your fingers idly when Neteyam turns to you.
“Do you want some?” He asks, already prying the tough shell open with his knife.
“Oh, yes please. They’re actually my favorite” You grin, and at least your voice doesn't project all the nerves you feel.
“I know” He hands you the oyster once he opens it and you try not to pay too much mind to how his fingers brush yours.
“How would you know that?” you slurp at the rich juice, grateful.
“Roxto was telling me about it” He says simply, already working open another shell to hand out.
“Oh yeah! Y/N remember when you ate so many of these that you got sick at dinner! I’ve never seen someone puke that much, it was never ending” Roxto chuckles, igniting laughter from the group.
You wince, the memory is not a particularly good one and you don't enjoy reliving it. Especially not in current company. You can feel your cheeks heat intensely.
“It was so bad! You got it all over dad’s lap and he didn't know what to do” Ao’nung adds hysterically “He just started panicking- picked you up by your tail and tossed your ass outside”
Tsireya breaks, giggling behind her hand and Kiri all but chokes. Lo’aks shaking his head good naturedly as Ao’nung and Roxto are in stitches- the only one who doesn't laugh is Neteyam. No, instead he gives you a gentle kind of smile, before going back to his task of shucking.
You’re only the butt of the joke for moments more before it ping-pongs to Lo’ak, who has almost cut one of his odd five fingers off in the process of prying open an ornery shell.
“Oh! Look brother, how pretty” Kiri points out the large blush colored pearl that Neteyam had almost swallowed.
“That’s good luck!” You grin “They don't usually get that big”
Huh. Good luck you say?” Neteyam picks it out of the shell, holding it between his thumb and pointer as he examines how it shines in the sun. Beautiful…
You’re frozen when he reaches out, the pearl in the palm of his hand.
“Here” he offers it to you.
The purple flush that completely takes over your face crawls down your neck too. You're completely flustered by the simple gesture of good will.
You should tell him that you can’t take it- that he should give it to Tuk, his little sister that loves making jewelry. Instead you’re hungry for anything, will accept any scraps of himself that Neteyam will give to you.
“Irayo” you beam as you accept the pear, tucking it away in your satchel for safe keeping. “I love it!”
He just gives you another one of those ever soft boyish grins, his eyes pools of liquid amber.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
As the weeks go by, there’s a certain light to you. A bounce in your step,
“Your aura has changed” Ronal informs you of the fact as the two of you sit in the Healers Mauri, plumes of heavy incense filling the space with fragrant smoke.
She’s far into her pregnancy now, but that has never stopped her from completing her duties. The salves she mixes with an expertise that comes from years of trial and error are potent and coveted.
Your lips quirk into a private smile as your fingers continue their threading. Working on a personal project in between your chores. “Has it really?”
She assesses you, her turquoise eyes all knowing as she takes you in. You’re a woman grown now far from the small child she had taken in with her husband all those years ago. In theses last few months you have blossomed, like a flower unfurling. She had an inkling of why-
“You are thinking of accepting courtship this cycle, yes?” It’s not a question, but a statement. One she already knows the answer to.
“I am” you whisper. “If he decides to pursue me, that is”
The comfortable quiet is back, both of you focusing on your respective tasks. You’d always been content just to bask in your Aunt’s presence.
“The Sully boy would be a fool not to court you” Ronal breaks the silence bluntly and you really should've had expected that she already knew.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Where dread usually lives in your heart at this time of year, lies only excitement. Joy, that fragile hope as you prepare for the festival. Anyone who knows you can see the change, you throw yourself head first into ceremony prep. Spend hours sitting with Tsireya eagerly sowing together new pieces of clothing for the festivities.
You sing as you tend to your house work, sweet little tunes that your family is surprised to hear.
Tonowari is beaming, endlessly happy that you are going to give a member of the clan a chance. He’d been questioning your self induced isolation for years, and was eager to see which of his warriors had stolen your heart. Ronal refuses to tell him even though he knows she knows,
“It is not mine to share” his wife rebuff’s every time he questions.
As the day of the Iknimaya draws closer you try to make sure that Neteyam knows that you are open to courtship. You spend a decent amount of time with his family anyway, Tsireya and Lo’ak always connected at the hip and Kiri growing into a close friend.
You ask him about his training, tend to any wounds he may aquire diligently. Laugh at his bad jokes, and listen to his stories of home. He misses the forest, you can tell. You selfishly hope that there isn't a pretty Omaticayan girl waiting for him.
At dinner, in the largest communal mauri, filled to the brim with clans members who are all but vibrating with excitement for the close looming festivities, you navigate the people.
In your hands, a large plate made from a recycled shell piled is high. Fish roasted over the fire, steamed rice and root vegetables that you had harvested yourself.
You’d watched Neteyam along with a handful of other training warriors limp into dinner late. They look tired and worn down.
He’d plopped down next to his family without getting himself food, and that just wouldn't do.
“Jake, Neytiri- I see you” You greet his parents as you approach. The sit close together, always intertwined in one way or another.
‘He idolizes our parents marriage’
You understand Kiri’s words as you watch Toruk Makto and his mate, as you appraise their close bond.
Jake grins, Tuk in his lap. Greeting you right back, easy to conversate with. Neytiri is quieter, hard to read. Intimidating, just like Neteyam who favors her so much in looks. Still the older woman signs the greeting back to you.
“You look really rough” is not what you meant to say to their son. Neteyams brow bones rise and you could kick yourself. Definitely would later.
“Thanks, I feel it” Neteyam responds with a tired chuckle.
Instead you laugh too, albeit awkwardly, trying to remedy the situation “What I mean is, you didn't get yourself food- and I know how exhausting training can be. Here, please eat. I’d hate for you to lose strength this close to your rite”
He accepts the plate of food graciously and you try to ignore the heavy feeling of eyes on you. His families, the clans. People have noticed you, have noticed this act of service. There’s only one thing it can mean.
“Irayo Y/N, I appreciate you” he thanks, making room for you on the log that he’s sat atop “Would you like to sit with us?”
“Very much so- but I promised Elder Raou’wal that I would help him back to his mauri. His legs don't work like they used to, and I don't want him to fall again-” you curse your nature, the fact that you offer your help so freely.
All you want to do is take that seat, so close to Neteyam that your thighs would press against one and others.
“That is very kind” Neteyam soothes “It’s okay, another time”
“Yes, another time” You know you sound like an idiot. You feel like an idiot. Standing before him and his family uninvited.
You need to make a quick escape, overwhelmed by all of the attention. “Please, get some rest before tomorrow. I’ve had to tend to over worked warriors all week”
Neteyam’s grin…is something else. Something not so sweet. Something that makes you flustered, that he’s looking at you like that in front of his parents, in front of the tribe. “Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Will you be there, tomorrow?”
“Of course I will” your response is quick, eager and it just makes that look on his face more intense.
“Good. Then I know everything will go well” his words make your heart beat so loudly your ears ring.
You don’t even know what to say, can barley keep your cool as you utter goodbye to his family, all of them quite obviously amused as you begin to scurry away.
You know the blush is burning up your whole face, that everyone can see your feelings as clear as day.
But-
You can’t leave him like that. Not with him facing is Iknimaya in the morning, with all of its promises of danger.
“May Eywa be with you, tomorrow and always” you give him the quiet blessing, truly hoping that the great mother looks over him.
He softens, physically. All of him slumping, as though you had put a balm on a jagged cut.
You don't wait for a reply.
Tonowari watches the exchange from his place at the head of the room,
Oh.
That is who had caught your eye, the warrior that had broken your resolve.
He shares a look with Ronal, his eyes comically wide and she laughs lowly at him.
“Ah my love, you have always been so slow”
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The Iknimaya rituals go as they always go, a long day full of young, strong hearted Na’vi eager to prove themselves. Most of them don’t succeed, at least half of them will need to wait until the next cycle to attempt it again.
Your family is at the center, you stand proudly behind Olo’eyktan Tonowari and Tsahik Ronal as they guide the young clan members through the rite of passage. Tsireya beside you, knowing that next cycle it will be her and Lo’ak attempting their own rites. Ao’nung cheering on young hunters that he had trained himself.
You love all of your people, the Metkayina one beating heart under Eywa’s watchful eye- yet you can't tear your focus away from Neteyam.
Your eyes are glued to him, and him only. The entire time. You watch, anxious and in awe. He’s so strong, all lean muscle and sharp mind. He mounts his Skimwing on the first try, much to the surprise of his peers. The people cheer him on, whopping loudly.
He’s beautiful, capable and skilled. He’s…stolen something from you. Abducted your soul, enthralled your thoughts in a way that almost felt intrusive.
You watch as the son of the first becomes a son of the sea, a man in both the Metkayina and Omiticaya tribes. A feat that almost none have accomplished.
The Motnaui is tradition, the freshly rited hunters will join the seasoned on a days long hunt. The time in the open ocean solidifies their bond to the tribe, their place that they have earned. Their chief will join them. Tonowari is eager, ecstatic for the time he gets to spend with his new hunters. With his ever growing tribe.
Everyone gathers to see the hunters off, so much love filling the crowded beach. Your people a buzz, tearful. Joyous.
You trail your fingers over the colorful Lei that lies around your neck. It matches the floral wreath nestled atop your head; the orchids are vibrant shades of fuchsia pinks and sunset yellows to represent your family.
They come in all shades, neon greens and baby blues, lilac purples and vibrant reds.
They are traded between your people at this time of year. Elders give them to children, sisters to their brothers. Tonowari wears many around his neck, the visual representation of how beloved he is to his clan.
To give a Lei can be friendly and platonic, sure. Especially if it is one of the dozens that are made just to be handed out- if a person wears multiple for clear decoration and celebration purposes only.
It can also be a very clear invitation for courtship- or at the very least consensual coupling. If a woman takes her lei off her own neck and presents it to a man, it is a sign of ownership. Marking that the specific male is taken for the duration of the fertility season.
You need to give Neteyam yours before he leaves, you want him to know that he has you. That you are his- and that you want him to be yours. That you will wait for him as he hunts and when he returns, he can have all of you.
You’re trying to find him in the crowd, your eyes scanning for the familiar dark blue skin that stands out so shockingly amongst your people-
Neteyam is with his family, all of them exuding proud energy. His mother cups his face in her lithe hands, his sisters hold onto his arms. His father pats his shoulder and his brother stares at him like he’s hung the stars.
You don't want to intrude on the moment, but you have to catch him before he leaves-
It’s like watching a horrible accident, like being witness to carnage that you just can't stop.
Seychelle, a clans member two years your junior, is beautiful. She’s a skilled singer and the daughter of a high ranking fisherman. She’s tall and shapely with pretty eyes, and its her first cycle as an eligible adult. As a woman grown who is available to mate.
She walks right up to Neteyam and his family boldly. Unafraid or ridden by anxiety like you always seem to be. All flirty smiles and fluttering lashes.
You’re too far away, can't hear what she says but you wouldn't want to anyway. Your chest is caving in and you feel like you can't breathe, your ears ring with the lack of oxygen.
You could challenge her. You have a high standing in the clan. You have first choice when it comes to mates,
But instead you just stand there. Bare witness to her taking off her bright orange Lei and slip it around Neteyams neck. He accepts it without a fuss, grinning and you can see his mouth form the words “thank you”.
Your nose burns and tears prick threateningly at your eyes but you know you can not let them fall. Not here.
You do what you do best;
You run away.
Not bothering to explain your exit to anyone, you probably couldn't form words around the lump in your throat anyway, you run as fast as you can. The world feels very far away, like it exists without you in it.
Your family mauri is empty, everyone's still at the beach and you don't even bother making it to your bed. You collapse right inside the entrance as the tears finally over take you and your eyes flood over.
What were you thinking?
How had you read this whole thing so wrong?
Your mind is dangerous, cruel in its confused, hurt state. It assaults you and you sob into your hands. You feel stupid now, in the special clothes you'd donned. Your hair twisted meticulously-
He had never been interested in you, you’d taken his innate kindness and skewed it. Neteyam had just been nice to you and you being the simple minded girl you were- had tried to force it into something more.
You curse yourself, curse your heart. Curse that fragile hope that you had clung to so desperately.
You cry until you feel sick, your eyes swollen and back tight from sobbing. You’re dizzy and tired by the time you crawl over to your bed. You don't even get under the covers, just stare blankly at the wall of the mauri as tears roll down your cheeks.
Who knew one person could produce so many tears? You wonder when your body will run out. You don't know how much time passes, only aware that darkness starts to fill the space as the evening eclipse arises.
“Oh, YN” the silence is broken by your cousin's soft voice.
Tsireya had wondered where you had gone, had been confused about your departure until she clocked Neteyam with a Lei around his neck that was quite obviously not yours.
“I’m sorry” Is all she whispers as she slips into the bed next to you, her arm winding around your middle.
It starts a whole nother round of tears. Of crying, mourning what you thought you could have.
“I-I-I’m so s-stupid” you stutter, snotty and muffled. She shakes her head, tears of her own starting to form as she holds you tighter.
“No, don't say that cousin. You’re not stupid” Tsireya soothes as she pets your hair. It hurts to see you in such a state. This had to be a mistake, she had been so sure of Neteyams feelings for you. Everyone had.
You shake your head, because you know you are. You knew you had little chance and still you’d paraded yourself in front of him like an idiot.
Never again, you vow to yourself.
To your shattered heart.
Wow, okay I didnt expect this to be so big, but I got so caught up in Metkayina Lore building that I kind of got sidetracked. Safe to say 90% of this story is going to be canon divergent. All of this Lore is my own creation and not Mr. Cameron's.
I have to give a shout out to two authors in the Avatar fandom that have inspired me the most as I write this.
@tiredmamaissy has really carved out a niche when it comes to the sexual nature of Pandora. I love the way she portrays Na'vi relationships and if this story leans a bit A/B/O its because I cant see the Na've not going to Heat's/Ruts now. She's just so good.
@loaksky when I tell you that reading her work makes me want to hone my craft, I mean that shit. She is a wordsmith in a way that you don't see much anymore. I am obsessed with how she long hand story tells and I def feel inspired everytime I read one of her fics. Queen of will they wont they/ slow burn.
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