#since i knew it was a thing at one point
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i keep thinking abt this . so many people think english is a romance language but it’s Not it’s west germanic. it’s more closely related to nordic languages like norwegian and danish [that’s why danish kinda looks like Silly English sometimes] than it is to french or spanish etc. we’ve just borrowed so many words from french and latin + modern english barely resembles german at all so it sounds like it Should be a romance language. old english is pretty similar to modern german though, all things considered, even down to how we did grammatical gender [which was already phasing out by the time the language had evolved to what’s considered middle english]
#.txt#sorry i was reading an article abt grammatical gender in english the other day#since i knew it was a thing at one point#but didn’t know when it Stopped being a thing#so i looked it up#turns out it was pretty heavy in old/anglo saxon english and that’s abt it
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Here's why I think the Gojo bait is not great writing and why you should maybe think so too (Spoilers till jjk 260).
We've spent the last few chapter consistently establishing a few things about our protagonist (Yuuji) and our antagonist(Sukuna).
1. Yuuji's father's soul is a reincarnation of Sukuna's twin: This instantly creates a connection between Sukuna and Yuuji.
As if you needed one outside of Sukuna's constant mockery of his former vessel's lack of "competance", and that most of yuuji's biggest losses can be attributed to Sukuna, building his wrath brick by brick. But surely adds to it all.
2. Yuuji feels incredibly lonely right now: Anyone he's created any sort of meaningful (?) Bond with outside of just 'hey you're an ally I can fight alongside with' is currently either dead or greatly incapacitated.
3. Also ofc the absolute damage that Yuuji has started incurring on sukuna. Damage that the slew of sorcerors before him couldn't. Forget about everyone teaching him abou love, Yuuji will show him Burning Rage.
This while also having hinted at Yuuji being possibly strong enough to do so on his own. He can go head to head with the King Of Curses with or without the help of his fellow sorcerors once he is able to harness this power.
Anything that was Gojo vs Sukuna feels absolutely irrelevant with the build up that Gege themself has been creating through the past few chapters.
Gojo's form right at the end of the chapter undercuts the pacing completely. Readers are more interested in those last 2 panels of Gojo which are completely removed from and rather jarring to the buildup between Yuuji and Sukuna. Fan interest in Gojo isn't their fault because that's what the chapter makes you focus on.
The only way I see this continue the buildup is if this is somehow Yuuji's doing or done with his knowledge, in which case it'd have been better to end the chapter by showing that Yuuji is aware of it and has an ace up his sleeve, bringing it back to the 2 relevent characters, and for people to stew in what Yuuji could be up to for a week.
But no matter what Gojo's visage there means, Yuuji in this moment has been so greatly undermined, not by his lack of strength, not by Sukuna outright demeaning him, but by the writing itself. By Gege.
And oh, how Yuuji deserves better.
#this has been brewing in me since leaks were forced down my throat#ive seen people say its yuuta because he's the current strongest but yuuta has already fought sukuna he does not need such a grand entrance#itd just be anticlimactic#also seen people say sukuna is seeing this in his last moment: no way are these his last moments what are you saying#and even if that's the case it once again is undercutting YUUJI THE GUY HE HATES DOING THE MOST DAMAGE TO HIM#idk ive not seen any theory that has piqued my interest#but im glad to see enough people not buy that its gojo#because that just shows how absurd it would be at this point#i also think gojo fans should want better for the character they like than wanting him back like this#anyway#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk meta#itadori yuuji#sukuna#gojo satoru#ryoumen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jujutsu kaisen meta#jjk manga#jjk 260#itadori jin#these are just my thought and im just a guy on the interest ok pls be kind or normal if you disagree#but also thanks for reading this whole thing i feel like throwing up lol#i still think about that one thread someone made about how sukuna bwing Wasuke's twin would've made more sense because he's has way more#impact on yuuji's life and is literally the one who indirectly pushed yuuji in his beliefs and the jujutsu trajectory#do feel bad that he clearly knew everything that was going on#and was helpless because he was killed for knowing too much#long post#no nickel for niinnyu's thoughts
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
There are two wolves inside me. One wants to embrace a new hobby in dance so I can be active and feel elegant and graceful and strong. This wolf wants to try something new and exciting, finally indulging in something I've always had an interest in.
The other experiences such frustrating emotions on a near daily basis that I want to go back to boxing, which is arguably easier to break into since I've already done it before. This wolf doesn't think of elegance, she just wants to fuck shit up until her body's so overworked and warm it fogs up car windows without having to do anything but sit inside.
Which one do I fucking feed??
#t. lee woes#like. do you know how hard it is trying to start something new that you've never done at all ever before??#and you've got no mode of transport until december - and ONLY if things go well#and now you're contemplating ways to mkre regularly earn a bit of money to afford the classes since paying weekly means my income#would wind up like $9 a fortnight since $40 would be spent by the end of each fortnight#it wouldn't necessarily be stagnant but it's not a desirable position to be in#I still have stuff saved up in a jar but I'm always hesitant to dip into that stuff#originally it was going toward a violin and lessons for that but I'm putting it off in favour of something a bit easier to dedicate time to#boxing is easy. in fact I could get support from my fam for that cause they like it#they don't see the point in dancing but I really want to at least try it and I'm worried about affording each term if I do end up liking it#also I already have boxing gear from before#but I'm hesitant about boxing at the moment for a lot of reasons I can't quite articulate but weirdly might have something to do with#internalised misogyny and biases... which is WILD cause my dad supports women learning martial arts#I can't do karate though I tried that and the class drove me a little insane#and it doesn't push you the same way boxing does and I really like to be pushed#if I don't leave sweating and hot and lungs and muscles aching then what's the point?? I can do mediocre exercise at home#and find more intense martial arts classes that also teach other kinds of self-defense#it's like... ehhhh#anyway but also I want to do something that's for fun that isn't so Serious Fight Mode#hence dancing#but I can only afford one not both and basically I'm grumpy today cause I was gonna trial a dance class - got ready and everything - but#my ride was suddenly unavailable. and I still can't stomach public transport. nor am I good at navigating it#it feels so different here compared to where I used to live - and I knew trains better not buses
25 notes
·
View notes
Photo
"This is a message to you, who listens. You must trust me, because we are friends. You just don't know it yet. "
(The Road to PARTIZAN 05 : Ech0 & dusk to midnight)
currently halfway through PARTIZAN (making my way towards palisade extremely slowly. see u guys there in a month or two) & this is to date my favourite intro Austin has done. what an great introduction to an extremely cool character
#Partizan#road to partizan#friends at the table#fatt#gur sevraq#ive been wanting to draw something for that intro ever since i first heard it but i didnt. even know who gur sevraq was at that point.#but its been On My Mind#rosa art#im fairly happy with this i had a lot of fun coming up w the composition. it felt like a puzzle bc i knew what i wanted...#the lineless artstyle is something ive been trying out more and it doesnt come easy but it is fun. (so many layers.....)#you can zoom in for details because. ofthe person i am i always have to add little lines everywhere#well i usually write kind of a lot in the tags but ive been drawing for 5 hours nonstop. my brains kind of wiped.#i havent taken my walk yet so. i will now do that#...usually id listen to more partizan but millenium break is. literally not relaxing and i need to chill a bit#might put on the new bluff.#oh one more thing every time i relisten to that intro i do a little ME? gesture i hear that first line. its fun to me#edit: ok i moved the text slightly it was bothering me !#probably noone else will notice.
565 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blyke and John: Parallel Characters
I’ve written multiple entries about this,
[x] [x] [x]
But I’m back to make a comprehensive analysis about the glaring similarities between these two. I’ll try not to repeat myself here.
‼️SPOILER WARNING for the whole series‼️ but this mostly focuses on the story before John’s suspension.
Firstly, this scene:
ch. 121
This conversation takes place near the beginning of the Joker arc. It’s after John targets Zeke, after he targets Juni, and the day before he goes after Seraphina’s kidnappers. The timing is important.
“If someone hit your best friend, would you let it slide?”
That question is supposed to remind us what John does to people who hurt Seraphina: hunting them down and sending them to the hospital. Blyke shooting a destructive beam really close to John was an example of a trait they share: they both blow up violently when people mistreat their friends.
John’s downward spiral carries strong themes of hypocrisy. He’s angry at the world, he’s angry at himself, and as a coping mechanism, he chooses to believe that everyone else is as bad as he is. That means that most of the traits he hates others for are the same things he hates about himself. In this scene, Blyke is unintentionally calling out this hypocrisy: “What I did is no different from what you do”.
But Blyke’s just trying to connect with John here, he has no idea what John’s been doing. And John, of course, doesn’t give a shit about what Blyke has to say. This line was here for the audience to notice.
They���re both so similar, but their similarity immediately causes tension between them because, well, John was on the wrong end of Blyke’s protectiveness.
I really love the way this was written— there are so many flashbacks to this scene, but they remember it differently. John remembers the part that hurt him— he’d describe it as “the time that jackass shot a beam at me”. Blyke remembers the part that hurt him, or rather, hurt Remi: “the time that jackass hit Remi for no reason”.
Blyke and John are both hotheaded characters with strong ideals. They’re similar enough that Seraphina points it out:
(ch. 80)
As Blyke grows as a character, he becomes more like John: sticking up for low tiers and speaking out against the injustice in the world. But while Blyke is doing that more, John is going in the opposite direction, until they are fully opposed to each other.
Speaking of Blyke’s character arc, it took me a few rereads to actually understand what part of him changed. His kindness, selflessness, bravery— all of those things were there from the start. Blyke’s character arc was about becoming more aware of his surroundings, and how his carelessness can harm others. Blyke was never malicious, but after X-Rei and integrating more with the school, he becomes aware of people suffering around him and how he unintentionally contributes to it. He becomes less reckless, privy to the flaws in the system he grew up not questioning, and uses his power more responsibly. He even comes up with a more controlled way to wield his ability. The part of Blyke that changes is his maturity.
Part of John’s character arc is also about being careful. It’s not as close of a parallel as other things are, but one of the things that John works on during his redemption arc is holding back. Both of them learn self-control throughout the series, and for John, that means acting early before his emotions spiral out of hand.
Adding onto my first point about the two of them wanting to protect their friends— the fact that they can’t do that makes them both angry and desperate. For most of the story, the “block” that prevents John from protecting Seraphina is in his head. It’s his own trauma that holds him back. The block that prevents Blyke from protecting his friends is, guess what? Also John’s trauma! Parallels abound.
Another thing I noticed in Episode 80 is this:
Notice that when Seraphina says “I’d take that over strength any day,” John is looking at the camera. He’s avoiding Sera’s gaze. Seraphina is saying she prefers honesty over strength. John is very strong, and very dishonest, but Seraphina thinks the opposite because John is so dishonest. John appears to be reflecting on this disconnect.
In relation to this analysis, Seraphina is actually pointing out a major difference between Blyke and John. Beyond that, she’s praising Blyke’s traits, (less strong but very open) above John’s traits, (strong as fuck but a liar with his pants on fire). Furthermore, John really cares what Seraphina thinks of him. Knowing that she would think less of him is the main reason why he spent so much time and effort preventing her from catching his lies.
This leads into my main point here: Blyke is the “goody-two-shoes” version of John. Or, more accurately, the person that John wants to be. Blyke has a clean track record and doesn’t really get into trouble. He is respected and left alone by the school without being hated and feared, he de-escalates conflicts without taking things too far, he doesn’t lose control, he’s someone Seraphina thinks highly of, hell, even his grades are better! Blyke represents everything that John wants to be, and the person that he could have been if he’d gone down a different path.
But, crucially, John is also what Blyke wants to be. Well, not wholly, but his ability? His strength? It’s one of the things John hates about himself, but Blyke wants that strength so desperately that he risks his life for it over and over again.
They’re both desperate to be like each other, even when they hate each other the most. Neither of them have any idea how alike they already are.
I don’t know what Season 3 holds in store for us, but I do hope that John realizes that Blyke embodies who he wants to be, because mutual jealousy would be a very interesting dynamic to explore in my opinion. I also hope that it ends up being something they can bond over, by helping each other accomplish their personal goals. (Blyke being another helper in John’s character arc, and John helping Blyke train.)
A side note: John beat up Blyke four separate times. That’s more than any other character, which is interesting because John’s main rival is supposed to be Arlo. For reference, John has beaten Arlo twice, three times if you count the time when Seraphina intervened, and he only beat him unconscious once. But John beat Blyke to the point of passing out all four times, the worst of which being a shot clean through his chest. (shoulder? Unclear. S1 finale).
It’s odd, isn’t it? Out of everyone, Blyke is the one who John physically hurt the most. John’s only grudge against him is an old memory from episode 33, of an event that didn’t actually harm him. John’s grudge against Arlo is much more serious and again— that’s his main rival. So why is it that he’s so much more violent towards Blyke?
The problem here is that I’ve been thinking about these fights as “John picking on Blyke”. And that’s… kind of true? But while Blyke didn’t start any of these fights, they were all consensual in a way. He didn’t seek to fight John, nor was he ever happy about fighting John, but he was always a willing participant.
(138, 153, 206, & 211)
In three out of these four fights, John didn’t even expect to be fighting Blyke going into it. This is significant because while Arlo is John’s main rival, John absolutely fills that role for Blyke. Blyke’s own agency is what leads to most of these events. The reason, narratively speaking, why they fight so much is not for John’s character, but for Blyke.
For John, his reason for fighting Blyke so much is not narrative but moreso symbolic. John is angry at everyone and everything, but ultimately the person he hates the most is himself. It’s only fitting that the character most like him would bear the brunt of his wrath.
As John is having his positive character arc (suspension and post-suspension), he is becoming more like Blyke, and the two of them reach a point where they’re even more similar than they were at the start of the series.
In the Rowden amusement park, John does start to realize how similar they are:
(249)
Additionally, I want to draw your attention to the parallels between this scene:
Blyke and John’s argument in chapter 249
(which the image limit won’t let me add, scroll until you see red hair.)
And this scene:
Argument in ch. 121 (it’s at the beginning)
Two sides of the same coin.
Furthermore, in the S2 finale, Blyke is shown being taken to Keon. There is an implication that by Season 3, Blyke and John will share Keon-related trauma as well. Despite my pessimistic predictions, I do hope that this is a similarity that can bring them together rather than tear them apart.
#unordinary#I had another point that i had to cut#because it was about the john slaps remi scene#and how like blyke knew he wasn’t gonna miss and hit john by accident but john doesn’t necessarily know that#and that john assumes the worst (blyke was aiming for his head) bc he’s mad#and blyke also assumes the worst (that john hit remi for no reason). But when i was looking for screenshots to back it up#and i was looking for the one panel where john referred to blyke as “that idiotic redhead who tried to blow my brains out”#as proof of john assuming the worst#But then i found it and it doesn’t even say what i thought it said#it says “THREATENED to blow my brains out”#Smh john didn’t even assume the worst. He knew it was jyst a threatening shot even thogh he was mad#And then my whole thing kinda falls apart because blyke assuming the worst is actually just the logical conclusion since he can’t read mind#Like how was he gonna know john was having trauma issues#Yargh okay so i think i cut all the parts that don’t really make sense but it’s late so this is a low quality proofread#Gonna be honest this is NOT structured very well#Theres more to be said about john hating other people for the same reasons he hates himself#and I didn’t quite hit it#but it’s lateeeeeee#something about how Blyke is so similar to john but lacks most of what John hates about himself so John projects his insecurities—#back onto him anyway#Something about in ch 249 when he says something something “because I couldn’t cope with the fact that you guys weren’t actually bad people#Yeah idk im too tired to get into it#blyke unordinary#john unordinary#oh also has something to do with when john says “i may have deserved those classes but they sure as hell don’t” about keon#i think that’s significant#analysis#i have a bad feeling that someone in my notes is gonna purposely misinterpret my “goody two shoes” blyke statement ngl#”did you say that blyke is perfect and john is evil”#like something like that
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sketchpage of my characters <33
I closed my eyes couple days ago and half-slept under the cloudy weather. It's the first time in years I get brave enough to draw my characters in a scene right after I experience it.. I sleep immediately at night (no complaints, I am indescribably grateful I don't experience insomnia), but I miss the time before I snooze where I dive into my headworld..
I've been doing so many things in-between working split shifts that I've given myself possibly another ibs episode, resulting in taking the day off yesterday. I felt ok by noon so "I'll draw for 2 hrs" became 7 ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I'll do my best to take it easy for the next few weeks u u ^^^love how I wrote so and as soon as I recover I want to go back to doing a billion things!!
Since you're here, here's the full page~
It was super fun to draw and I am extremely shy about it but also super proud and I worked hard!!
#oc#konrad#zeref#digjsketch#sketchpage#I've been listening to the FFXVI OST for the first time a year after playing the game#by the time ascension played I had completed most of it but istg I have this one on repeat 2 days now and I can not!! IT'S SO GOOD!!!! AAAA#I want to draw more... IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII#all leontarii's fault for sending me the soft exploring OST's of cities#I thought “okay how about I try listening to the entire thing since we're here”#it was event horizon I am so dEEP AAA#it's one of these times where I wish I knew how to play an instrument to physically channel my energy through something that can make noise#besides my own voice that I basically force everyone hear me making noises of “what I think this tone might be” --yeah!#anyway thank you for reading kon's adventures#Don't mind the dislocated jaw#I'll redraw it at some point- probably
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
i cannot stand the aot fandom this is not a new take at all they are universally intolerable but oh my dayssss u are FORBIDDEN from making ANY take about the show it's actually insane to watch. 'aot is perfect' no show is perfect. 'tell me you didnt get the show 😂🫵' people have different opinions/interpretations about things. 'eren is a good guy they could never make me hate him' i think there's actually 4 seasons and two movies explicitely using him as a tool to show that no one is 'good' or 'evil' they are only trying to survive. hello. the fandom r all so far up aot's ass that they actually discredit its writing in the process and it would be laughable if it wasn't so frustrating
#bc aot IS insanely well written but no one talks about it???#like all they do is SAY how well written it is but no one is brave enough to give examples or meta bc SOMEONE will jump on it#declaring they've misinterpreted the Single Correct Way of watching the show and are dumb and a hater for saying such a thing#i remember posting about my initial aot watch on here and i did NOT like eren i thought he was whiney and annoying (he is <3)#and i thought aot was overhyped but ive since finished it at long last and omg. it is so fucking good#one of those shows that you need to watch ALL of it to truly get what's going on#and the conclusion of eren's character i am genuinely so obsessed with ill probs make a separate post just about him#bc i have really 180'd on eren and i can see now he IS well written. but not for any reason i can see anyone else talking about???#people are just banging on about he was right and justified and a saviour and tragic etc etc and while those things are important#and should be considered that also like. was not the point imo#the irony and tragedy of eren jaeger was that after all the 'i am special simply bc i was born into this world'#concluded with the revelation that actually he was not special. the rumbling happened because a normal boy got a hold of a great power#and he mishandled it. he was immature. he acted his age. he was just some teenage boy and he responded in kind#there was selfishness and silly whims and a quick temper. he was never this godlike figure he gets painted as#and i ADORE THAT TAKE. THAT IS SUCH AN ICE COLD CONCLUSION. EREN WAS NEVER SPECIAL - THAT'S THE POINT#and like countless times through history one selfish person with their hands on an insane amount of power and a conviction#that they are doing the right thing goes on to lead to a continuation of the cycle of war#like the end credits with the tree is genuinely HAUNTING. it never ended. eren KNEW the rumbling would be unnsuccessful#and would leave enough of their enemies alive that they'd eventually retaliate HE KNEW THAT and did it anyway#why? bc he just /wanted/ it. desperately and immaturely. and so the war turned over for another generation and another and#LIKE THAT IS SUCH A POIGNANT HAUNTING TAKE. I FR STARED AT THE BLACK SCREEN ONCE I FINISHED IT FOR 5 MINS IN HORRIFIED SILENCE#yes it's not his sole motivation but ultimately the crux of his character boils down to the fact he's just some kid#to the point even when he's explaining it to armin at the very end they SHOW HIM AS A KID. THAT IS THE REAL EREN#THAT ANGRY SCRAPPY CHILD WHO THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT THE WORLD INTO SUBMISSION#NOT A HERO NOT A GOD NOT A DEVIL - JUST A KID GIVEN A POWER HE NEVER SHOULD HAVE GOT HIS HANDS ON#but if u say all that some chucklefuck tells u to kys and that u just Didnt Get The Masterpiece Of Attack On Titan#but do u know what? maybe people disagree w me! maybe this is just my interpretation! guess who's NOT gonna have a hissy fit about it?#fandom is about DISCUSSION and i have never seen a fandom as fucking allergic to it than the aot fandom#like omdddddddddd have a day off man isayama isnt gonna suck you off#aot
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??
#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man#i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it#and anyways im not actually a guy#im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet#and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious#im a fucking student geneticist dude#i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways#probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders#codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales?#its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing#i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains#& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men#and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women#its an OLD study too#anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information#but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence#not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough#ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic#but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense'#figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet#and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right#it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi#i dont fucking care it makes SENSE#'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly#nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon#especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS??#are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude#that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley#combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like#nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Another Grant headcanon:
I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.
Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.
#honestly I was thinking he continued the note thing with marco in college maybe?#and now marco likes the smell of the body spray even if grant found better perfumes cuz nostalgia#i think i am in my own la dee da world after this episode#where I think if willy takes a break from torturing the parents they should form a circle and become bffs#they should form a circle#toast to rebecca#and then just talk shit idk#i think they would be very funny as a group after they are done grieving#like cassandra would be like how could I have dated such a loser#he literally kidnapped like four of my exs ex friends and put collars on them when we were dating#and they would be like no its not your fault he is that manipulative#and then one of them would talk about their ex to comfort her#and then somwhow it would come out that willy is like the age of their grandparents#and cassandra would be like why did this senior citizen get me so bad#he told me to make him a sandwich and I#a multimillionaire made him a sndwich#this will probably never happen in canon#dndads#grant wilson#dungeons and daddies#the tags are their own seperate post at this point#dndads s2#looking back on this(tags)#all the spouses knew willy as a nice guy who saved them#rebecca was the only one who suspected him so thats why he killed her#they must be feeling so duped getting tortured except for marco who saw him kill a man#cassandra has been feeling duped since heaven#this is killing me all of them are having conversations in my head now the comedy and the pain is killing me mostly the comedy#marco li wilson#grant li wilson
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
s5 episode 5 thoughts
it’s been a few days. and you KNOW what i’m craving!!!
ohhhh this episode… so i’ve heard about this one before. specifically it was brought up a lot when i voiced my complaints with small potatoes, with a lot of commenters comparing it to this episode. so that doesn’t fill me with a sense of joy and anticipation.
well, i had a nice day. the only way out is through. let’s see if this makes me as mad as small potatoes, shall we?
(author's note: i have many, many questions. i mean i can tell that this was an homage to old spooky movies but beyond that: huh?)
why now in the series? who came up with this? why do multiple episodes explore the concept of forced impregnation as something silly and harmless? why did the agents look so good in black and white? have they danced together before? do you believe in life after love?
let us take it from the top.
we begin with a comic book, it seems? inside is a black and white scene. is this whole episode in black and white? i looked at the image for the episode and it was black and white, too
this guy izzy is trying to go to a comic book convention, but his mom said she’ll kick him out. damn. being a nerd is hard. is this taking place in the distant past or something? well, the cars look older too.
(it was not taking place in the distant past... also, i thought izzy's mom, mrs. berkowitz, was mean at first because she joked about kicking him out, but she was actually the best character in this episode)
later that night we see their home, including a photo of izzy with a pig, but she’s watching jerry springer. which seems anachronistic to the black and white setting. it’s an episode about a hairy baby. while the windows are being covered up with a sort of striped tent??? and something is smoking.
enter cher???? no, enter someone else as cher plays. i do like when they put music in the episodes.
mom is coughing while a man with two faces comes to get her???
i mean, okay, the song slaps. i am unfamiliar with the work of cher and i was jamming out to it, even if i had no idea what was really going on except that maybe izzy made a frankenstein dupe in a comic, and it somehow came to life and hurt his mom. sure. why not?
the intro was shortened... you still can’t fool me.
the whole episode is in black and white????
OH GOD. this lady felt a presence in the room, woke up three days later and was pregnant??? with izzy???
so frankenstein is the father????? and it happened again??? and she heard cher when it went down??? man. man what.
scully is reading this letter… LMAO mulder was mentioned on the jerry springer show episode about the wolf baby, which is how she found him <- BAHAHA this cannot be good for his covert work!!!!
her name is mrs. berkowitz and she is pouring our agents a soda as they enter her home. it is very kind to offer them caffeine as they rely so heavily upon it. and she wants to know about the wolf baby. it feels very weird to hear mulder do the medical talking.
WHAT THE HELL??? she is somehow pregnant again despite having a tubal ligation…. hey what. how is she not losing her mind? scully looks utterly gagged.
the camera work here is so different, there are these intense closeups on the character with a sort of fisheye effect, it's both off-putting and cool
mrs. berkowitz says mulder knows what is happening, but he says he’s not even sure if he believes in aliens anymore??? he has to be lying. or does he actually believe that everything was faked as put forth by the redux trilogy? i thought he saw through that when he told CSM to go fuck off. also, i KNOW he is not dead.
sorry, but scully looks so good in black and white and a pinstriped suit. ohhhh my god.
anyway, scully says hmm, your description of the intruder is funny... because it MATCHES THIS COMIC BOOK CHARACTER FROM IZZY’S ROOM!!
izzy created that comic book character… so the plot is thickening???
enter izzy. we must confront him with this fact. he says that he’s seen “the great mutato” too, and that plenty of people have!! is he hanging in the neighborhood?? doing evil activities??? he's like, a real guy? and not some mysterious intruder???
cut to izzy outside with a peanut butter sandwich, luring in the beast
“i think what we’re seeing here is an example of a culture for whom daytime talk shows and tabloid headlines have become a reality against which they measure their lives- a culture so… so obsessed by the media and a chance for self-dramatization that they’ll do anything in order to gain a spotlight” (twirling my hair... kicking my feet a little... hey scully...)
“i am alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype” <- YEAH YOU TELL HER MULDER ‼️
they’re fighting about if this is possible or not and frankly i think they should just kiss about it
(about the rumors, he says:) “but nonetheless unverifiable, and therefore true in the sense that they’re believed to be true” hey. when they talk all academic?? i'm swooning.
and they’re soooo close as they're fighting over all of this <3
“is there anything that you don’t believe in, mulder?” <- i was really looking forward to hearing him answer that, but no!! a distant moaning cut him off!!
scully….. oh my god…….. nothing to note here in terms of plot, she’s just pretty
the great mutato EMERGES for his sandwich!! and mulder is in trackstar mode absolutely SPRINTING, coat billowing behind him as thunder crackles and his long long legs carry him into the woods. and scully is fast too, but he is so much faster it’s actually funny. that man was made to run. absolute horse DNA
oooooo spoooooky, mulder is running after the great mutato into the woods with scully not too far behind, and they can’t find him!!
BAHAHA the old school movie effects are kinda endearing. mulder pointing “there!” and then a dramatic crash of thunder revealing a silhouette… yeah, i giggled
i’m not well versed enough in old movies to understand all of these references, but i bet they had the horror girlies losing their minds
but it’s just some guy walking a pig?? telling them to gtfo. well!
guy with pig sends them to his son???? who i later learned is named dr. pollidori. and who has a newspaper article about some experiment he did. this guy is looking like a stereotypical mad scientist. “my father is a simpleton farmer. he understands nothing of my scientific achievements” <- okay nerd, let’s not get in a science-off with dr. scully… also, let's not be mean to your dad!!
this mad scientist dr. pollidori says he is going to remembered for his incredible discovery of the “homeotic hox gene” and i hope he is taken down by scully. i hope she disproves every single thing he says. and then spits on him. fuck this guy for real.
i paused to write that down and she’s smiling at mulder behind this evil doctor’s shoulders :,)
mad scientist dr. pollidori tries to pull the whole “oh, let’s have scully explain my incredibly advanced research” card, further proving his evil tendencies, and she says it has something to do with growth. which is more than i could say.
he says he has to leave to go to an important international talk and she hits him with “sir, unless you want your scientific achievements to end up as a footnote on the jerry springer show, i suggest that you make the time” <- DAMN, GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME!!! i love when she puts people in their place.
i love this sort of "fishbowl/actors looking right into the camera" angle, because they look so cool standing like that. and i want to draw them like this, but i can’t draw. so i will just admire them instead. yeahhhh. they look cool as hell.
so it seems that what this mad scientist fellow dr. pollidori does is torture fruit flies and act mysterious? while thunder crashes about. kind of a sick gig aside, from the fly torture, but i could be mysterious and be way nicer. i could be a friendly mad scientist. i know a few of those, and they’re fascinating people!
so he fucked up some fruit flies and gave them legs in their mouths. that is rude as hell.
mulder asks “why would you do that?” (we were all thinking it) and mad scientist dr. pollidori says “because i can” with another crash of thunder. throw him to the dungeons at once!!!
dr. pollidori says "it" (editing genes to put legs in mouths) could theoretically be done in humans. scully tries to assure mulder this really isn’t the case, and it’s not quite that easy, but mulder isn’t so sure
“given the power, who could resist to create life in his own image?”, mulder asks <- honey, you just need a cat. you’re not ready for a child yet. i know you want one so badly, but you sleep on the couch. it's just not the right time.
ohhh she got him with just that LMAOOOO “we already have that ability, mulder; it’s called procreation” <- i am very attuned to scully, as you can clearly tell by me anticipating that line
she says she’s going to really see if mrs. berkowitz is pregnant tomorrow... i did not know that this was a service scully could provide. but i guess i should have assumed.
dr. pollidori has a wife??? her name is elizabeth. she wants to talk to him about children?????? but he says “you know how i feel about children” okay well elizabeth seems too good for you anyway, so??
“what happened to our dream?” “i think that’s your dream” <- BABE LEAVE HIM!!! FUCK THE MAILMAN!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
everything is so incredibly 1950’s coded in this scene, down to her little apron
i’m picking up a sword for elizabeth, why are you being so mean to her, mad scientist dr. pollidori!!!!!!!!!!! NO, SHE’S CRYING!!!!!!!!! DIVORCE, BABES, DIVORCE!!
but something is at the window?? NO!! STAY AWAY FROM HER, GREAT MUTATO, SHE’S HAD ENOUGH!!
diner time with the agents. seems the whole town is there and they are smiling at them. in an unsettling manner. oh lord, why is MULDER so good looking in black and white too?? someone put me down like a rabid dog.
awww, scully finds a newspaper and it mentions their FBI stuff… who snitched on them!!! :(
mulder is presented with an IMMENSE amount of food (he only wanted coffee!) on behalf of JJ (that’s with two J's), and i still can’t figure out the vibe here, because on one hand we’ve got spooky silly mad scientist dr. pollidori, and on the other hand we have a rapist monster so. like?? hey???
some reporter character next to mulder is writing down everything he says and does. and this waitress gets right in his face to ask if jerry springer is coming to town. i’m uncomfy, you’re uncomfy, we’re all uncomfy.
so the newspaper article had everything they said last night word for word!!! who was sneaking around?? other than that person who was just sneaking over mulder’s shoulder, but we had not seen before??
izzy is being questioned for potential recording of their conversation and they’re sticking their heads in one at a time LMAOOOO. mrs. berkowitz has had ENOUGH of izzy's shenanigans!
he pulls out a tape recorder, and their whole conversation from the night before was on there!!! and then mulder rewinds, and they hear the cher song???? what!!! how is this connected??? and they hear a voice singing along!!! it’s the great mutato!!! he wasn't even there when that happened!!!
SO WHO WAS RECORDING EVERYTHING?????
the great mutato is dancing around in the doctor’s house!!!!!
LMAOOOOO mulder’s spouting frankenstein analysis in relation to this case (hey. call me btw) and scully hits him with the “mulder, i’m alarmed you would reduce this man to a literary stereotype” <- yeah the roasting should be mutual
he asks who else would go to such lengths to get mrs. berkowitz pregnant, and she’s looking around as if she has to gently break the news to him that "well, mulder, certain men love to hurt women", etc etc
scully is reading mrs. berkowitz’s file as they drive off, and everything DOES look true, both the tubal ligation and the pregnancy!!! when mulder starts driving the car backwards???
WE GET ANOTHER CHER SONG MOMENT as they run into a house that is covered with a tent!!! like we saw before at the very beginning with mrs. berkowitz!!! i think it’s dr. pollidori's house!!! and it’s filled with smoke!!!
the girls (the agents) are breaking in!!! have we considered that scully should get out of here considering what happened last time we saw this exact scenario go down????? she’s coughing!!!!
mulder emerges from nearby, but nooooo!! they both collapse!!!!!! and the pig guy/dr. pollidori's father from before has a gas mask and says there ain’t no monster!!! HUH??
dr. pollidori comes back to his home a few days later, and poor mulder and scully and elizabeth are on the floor in a heap, looking terribly hung over from this gassing. they must have been out for like three days!!!
mulder says out loud that he thinks that he thinks dr. pollidori's wife elizabeth was impregnated, which is crazy to say btw, but elizabeth seems deeply excited at the fact. and then he tries to stand up and confront dr. pollidori, but he crashes into some stuff. and people are so right, mulder IS my baby girl.
scully, meanwhile, is explaining that she thinks this is all some big hoax.
but mulder!!! he finds a frying pan!! and mrs. berkowitz also had her frying pans “violated”, in his words!!
his tie is all messy and he’s stumbling around. we are given a brief insight into what drunk mulder must appear like. but a principled man, he has generally sworn off alcohol, so this is all we can use to imagine how such a sight would appear.
when they pull out an empty jar of peanut butter like izzy used to summon the great mutato, he proclaims that he found his smoking gun. lmao
IT’S THE DOCTOR'S DAD?????? THE ONE WHO WAS WALKING THE PIG EARLIER??? HE’S BRINGING THE MUTATO SANDWICHES AND CALLS HIM "SON"??? please put your son on a leash sir, because he is clearly committing crimes
ohhh confrontation time between dr. pollidori and his father…. OHHHH choking is going on. the dad said he did "it" because he can….. terrible reasoning to make a guy, btw
mulder is back in the diner, and now everyone is avoiding his gaze, throwing things at him, trying to trip him!!! JJ spits on his plate!!! he still looks good as hell though.
THEY POUR THE COFFEE RIGHT IN HIS LAP???? RUDE AF????
now the newspaper is publishing that the agents think the monster is a hoax, which i guess explains his treatment. so do the townspeople LIKE the monster, then??? and so denying him is to deny what makes them unique? but hold onto that thought, because now everyone is running outside!!!!
THE POLICE HAVE IZZY???? he has a mask on!!! the cop says they've caught their monster. a cosplay mask doesn’t make him a monster, you utter fools. mrs. berkowitz is a good mom though; she says she WILL throw hands with the whole town for judging her boy, and i respect that
oh, scully with the big reveal: the stuff on the frying pan they found at the doctor's house is used to knock out farm animals???? and farmers have to be on a register to use it!! which leads them to dr. pollidori's father aka the guy who walked his pig!!!!
the great mutato finds his father dead in the kitchen and mourns him, bringing him into the barn where he sobs and digs him a grave. it is sad. but. he still did those terrible things to mrs. berkowitz and elizabeth, so i'm not sure how bad i'm supposed to feel.
so the agents arrive, while it seems he is hiding up in the rafters. they find a puck of that weird gas that knocks you out, and mulder says he thinks they’re too late as they find the freshly dug grave
OHHH they hear a creaking and he WHIPS out his gun, but does this thing where he backs up so he is RIGHT in front of scully… wait, i need to watch that again. yeah, it was good.
it’s the journalist person??? from before at the diner?? here to get a good scoop on the murder!!!!
but now the angry townspeople are arriving!!! lead by dr. pollidori! it’s very much giving gaston in beauty in the beast with the flaming torches. well. they’re going after him. while our agents are in the rain. probably still enduring a crazy chemical hangover.
NOOOO!!!! scully turns around and sees the mutato!!! wow, she actually saw the creature for once lmao. that never seemed to happen in the early seasons
so they go in the cellar after the mutato and find a shrine to CHER NOW HOLD ON. HOLD ON. i have to pause and laugh. WHAT THE HELL. LMAOOOO
at least he has taste, i guess??
they find him in the corner and tell him to come out. scully seems deeply compassionate.
meanwhile, the barn is fully on fire as the journalist tries to write everything down. who will think of the sheep and pigs??? and even the chickens???
they emerge from the cellar but nooo, the journalist sees them!!! and the townspeople are invading!!!
the doctor says to let him go or they’ll burn him out. and he reveals to the crowd it was his FATHER who created him!!
mulder holds up a finger to wordlessly say “WATCH IT, WISE GUY” while the mutato is trying to say something. oh he can fully talk. “i have never acted to harm another soul” <- BUDDY. BUDDY WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING TO THOSE WOMEN????????
he’s monologing now, explaining he was the product of the doctor’s experiments. but his father rescued and loved him. and he tried to learn the science to make him a friend. also a horse is listening to all of this btw.
dr. pollidori's calls mutato a mistake which is rude as hell.
however, if i’m supposed to feel bad for this guy for saying sorry after being caught raping women, i’m not gonna 💀 it sucks that he was abandoned and unloved, but we still need to have ethics in our conduct
scully looks deeply upset though.
he says he learned so much about humanity, and about love; “cher loved that boy so much” <- well. yeah. i laughed.
izzy declares that the great mutato is no monster!!!! i guess that he is his father, so he might be a bit biased there.
mulder is troubled by the fact that unlike in the original book of frankenstein, this monster did not escape to look for a bride! he wants to speak to the writers
“there’s not gonna be any bride, mulder. not in this story” “well then where’s the writer? i want to speak to the writer” <- LMAOOO why did this feel like a dig at the MSR shippers, i'm HOWLING
we end with more cher as cars drive down the road. AND THE AGENTS HAVE THE GREAT MUTATO IN THEIR CAR??? he’s just chilling in the back.
AND THEY TAKE HIM TO A CHER CONCERT??? OR IMPERSONATOR??? OR SOMETHING!?? AND HE’S LOSING HIS MIND?? WHILE IZZY AND THE AGENTS WATCH???
AND THEN WE SEE THE GREAT MUTATO BABIES ON JERRY SPRINGER and when he asks if the babies are hard to love due to their two faces (rude??) mrs. berkowitz says “what’s not to love?” <- okay queen!!!! she may have gone through a lot, but damn she loves her babies!!!
and then… mulder takes scully, and they dance??? they dance??? i knew there was a dance scene actually because i had seen in mentioned before, but i am seeing this??? with my eyes???? oh my god???
they love each other man... and maybe that’s romantic or maybe they’re best friends and maybe it's both or some secret third thing, but that is LOVE!!!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!!!
and then izzy turns it into a comic book??
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH LMAOOOOO
guys please be kind to me if you understood this because i did not. i’m half laughing and half soooo confused
????? man, hold on
again, i see the similarities to small potatoes as has been mentioned before. and we’re supposed to just feel bad for the great mutato and wave off the rape. which doesn’t fly for me. and also why have there been two episodes with this theme now. what was chris carter smoking? and can we get him a different strain?
tbh, i really haven’t listened to cher before but if nothing else this episode put me onto her?? i guess??
i don’t have that same visceral sick feeling that i had from small potatoes, which i take is because we did not see scully as the victim of the violence this time around, but still. not great.
it felt like a huge inside joke i’m not in on. so i’m confused. and i appreciate that this is referencing old movie tropes, but that doesn’t mean i understand them any better, you know?
but they danced :( they danced :(
i waited two days before writing this up to try and let some time pass and hopefully make my perceptions a bit clearer, but i don't think it worked as well as i had hoped. this has to be a record for most question marks per episode writeup. so i am going to NEED to know what the wider community thinks of this episode. and also what you, the person reading, thinks of this episode. is this a cult classic? am i simply too young to understand the references? or is there truly nothing to get and the episode is just Like That for some reason?
i was, all in the span of 40-ish minutes, amused, disgusted, enamored, and baffled. with different percentages of each.
conclusion: mrs. berkowitz is real as hell, mulder and scully look AMAZING in black and white, and i do not forgive the great mutato. also they danced, btw. not sure if you caught that.
however, if i may venture a guess: this episode and the last were more silly than usual, and i appreciate that. but, i actually do sort of know what happens in the next two, in a "describe it in one sentence" kind of way, because before i decided to watch this show i googled it to see what it was about... and i came across this plot point. and maybe they decided to do something a bit more light-hearted before coming in with the emotional devastation. although, that did not stop them last season, so who knows?
i am excited to watch the next two.
#they danced guys they danced.#um. yeah. i'm literally begging you to tell me what you thought of this episode because i'm confused.#but damn if they didn't look good. like REALLY good.#i'm glad i wasn't alive in the 90's because the casual misogyny in aw shucks he's a rapist but he's MISUNDERSTOOD would have made me lose i#we still have misogyny now btw. just it's a different flavor.#anyway. super excited to see what happens next which as i mentioned i know a tiny bit about#and i assume that if you follow this blog you also know what happens next#before i decide if a show is worth my time i do a little preliminary research so this plot point was one of the only things i knew about#before i began watching. and i wish i could see it with a set of unspoiled eyes but in my defense i wasn't sure if i even wanted#to watch the show at all so i'm okay with that fact since it brought us here#(i google lots of shows if i want to watch them which is why i know everything that happens#in house of the dragon despite not having seen it. because i thought hmm maybe this is my thing#and when i googled it i realized it wasn't)#ANYWAY. excited to move on to the next two. but to go back to the now: please tell me what you thought#juni's x files liveblog#the x files#txf
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fandom is for everyone, don't gatekeep it.
#thats it thats all i wanna say#people be testing me today#stranger things#since thats my main fandom rn#but ive had lots in the past that are still apart of me and has helped me grow#stop gatekeeping fandom#through age or knowledge or anything#stfu#at one point you knew nothing of fandom#and you learnt and others helped you#so let people learn and enjoy#DONT GATEKEEP IT
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was rewatching The Stone Forest and I really like to think that Hilda had to pass by the Bell Keeper’s outpost on her way out of the city limits. I like to think that idiot looked at what was happening, shrugged, and said ‘eh, she’s the scariest thing out there’
#“‘the scariest thing out there’?”the girl sends him a look that isn't quite a glare for once; it still conveys her opinion just as clearly#Edmund shrugs. Hilda is still within sight of his binoculars. he watches her run and can’t be sure whether she’s running *towards* or *from#*.He doesn’t think she knows either.#'I mean. it’s not like trolls can harm her at this time of the day.#Don’t tell me you believe in fairies kid.'#And there it is at last: the glare. Meiri looks up from her art project - her new therapist had reccomended it as a way to express herself#and since he'd been helping so much so far she'd decided to grudgingly give it a shot -#“*No*” she states pointedly; to anyone who knew her it was an affirmation. And Edmund knew her better than she cared for#'What I believe in is wolves and recluse spiders and ticks and nettle. And I believe that someone with the spine#to sabotage the Patrol wouldn't have the self control to not lick a pretty mushroom'#“Hey!” Edmund protested putting down his binoculars. “I sabotaged the Patrol! For *you* I might add!”#Meiri's smile turned mean; it was a regular expression for her yet it never conveyed any malice. Just the thrill of a game that never tired#her. “And would you?” she lifted one thick eyebrow; signaling to her dad that it was his move now#The dad in question was unfortunately thinking back to a time in his young teenage years when he figured he could eat anything animals bit#and gave himself a poisoning that had him taken to the ER. But she didn't need to know that. *ever* in fact.#“Obviously I would. Like I'd let a mushroom ruin my perfect sandwich diet”#Meiri groaned loudly. Some games were worth playing. But some wars she'd already accepted she'd never win#“Anyway” he turned back to staring at the outside of the wall as if it was of any interest to him (it wasn't)#“kid'll be fine is my point. And even if she isn't ya know what's the best think about this situation?”#They looked at each other with matching smirks. “none of our flipping business” he said at the same time as she echoed#“None of our fucking business”#He gasped immediatelly. “*Meiri!*”#The chastening was useless. She just shrugged innocently.#He'd really have to limit her library visits#the bell keeper hilda#meirdom#hilda the series#hilda netflix
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.
#mine#personal#brief storytime in the tags#one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy#her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me#i was happy to share that moment with them#we cried and laughed together#and my friends#their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous#it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together#BUT#im a pastor's kid#and my dad loves weddings#he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year#he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do#so i was happy to see him happy too#it just all felt so bittersweet to me#because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves#there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that#and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that#this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this#i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon#i would never marry a man in my generation#if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend#my happiest day would be another funeral for you#it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians#so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day#and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church#but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left#there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Had a very detailed dream there was some new type of Mayoi-esque bsd game that was stupid popular but also involved real cash prizes and gambling, they had commercials for it. But the commercials were playing messed up and I was watching tv with a couple ppl cuddling with my cat and their new cats (they adopted cats before coming over). And the scroll bar for the text in the ad went by too fast we all misread it as Dazai's $219,000 pussy.
The dream ended in disharmony before my alarm woke me up arguing that Dazai's pussy was not worth $219,000 but what exactly was it worth? Opinions differed. Emotions started to run a bit high.
#dreams are boring blah blah blah#but his $219000 pussy#good morning#-pers#my argument was that you have to ask yourself would you rather have [dollar amount] or the person/thing/item whatever it is in question to#determine if something is “worth it” or not and the point at which you first consider wanting the thing in question over the money#is how much it is “worth” to you#since one of their arguments was that a certain character (avoid tagging things in here lol) said tied up to a wall the view was worth much#more than 219000 thus his pussy was worth at least the same as him clothed and tied up (i objected but the cat meowed for attention at this#point so i dropped it. tied up increases the value of anyone regardless of state of dress 💀)#but they were not that character so i was like no what would you rather have? oh the money? go lower then this aint about [redacted] this#is about you. the other person (yes i knew these ppl kinda sorts. not relevant) said it was worth zero dollars.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Today I, an aromantic, was getting ready to attend a wedding… with Stranger on repeat.
#the mechanisms#stranger#ttbt2#i knew what i was doing when i put it on but also i am working on an addtion to my brian-jonny foils post so i was thinking about brian#its always sad brian hours#i cant really read that song separate from him anymore. honestly not sure i ever could but. its just so unconnected from anything else.-#actaea and lyssa is pretty disconnected. but its still almost certainly on the city. alice is pretty disconnected but its a result of-#king cole’s war. the most disconnected songs are redeath. the ignominious demise of dr pilchard. drop dead. hereward the wake. and stranger-#(and frankenstein but i consider that its own thing). and redeath and drop dead are my least favorite mechs songs.dr pilchard i didnt-#really care for for quite a while. stranger has so few words in it. it’s my favorite song. but the story is minimal fron the song (ie w/o-#knowing the crane wife story) so making a story around it sort of makes sense? im having a hard time with the words here. like we expect a-#story. cause that’s what the mechs do. and stranger has a story. it just doesnt have context and so creatong that context for ourselves is-#understandable. to be expected even. hope that makes sense#side note: i think it would make sense for hereward to have been from the same place (system I guess) as the people that made-#fort galfridian. i mean hereward was more of a real person than arthur (since there was no one person arthur was based on. like thats a-#whole thing) and hereward was anglo-dutch. so it makes sense hed be related to that story somehow#its just a theory. obviously. theres nothing in the songs connecting the too as far as im aware.#OH also achilles pointed out to me the anti-amatonormative/aromantic reading of stranger and i liked that a lot#hereward was anglo-danish. not anglo-dutch. sorry danish and dutch people
30 notes
·
View notes