#since I really needed to finish it today
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I am DONE I have finished my essay and now I need to go to BED
#I’m usually not good at staying up late to finish homework so I’m proud of myself for getting it finished#since I really needed to finish it today#the next couple days are gonna be crazy but we’re so close to being finished oh goodness…#earl crow ramblings
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I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6
13 or so days and it's finished!
Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after
Unedited it looks like this
I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also
A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines
I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop is just a sketch here (feat. my leg)
I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year
#fanart#my art#isat#isat fanart#in stars and time#isat loop#loop#traditional art#artists on tumblr#Phew#So anyway this was my way of figuring out my thoughts after finishing the game#I didn't even actually finish it with credits playing at that moment#This type of art is my therapy#And in a way literally how my personality works from big figures to small details of thinking about anything#It's really calming!#I won't tag paper figures but they're here#Like special guests#In any case the funniest thing was showing this to my English teacher and she was like 'wow this looks stressed' or something#Like she immediately looked at the lines and after I showed her my old Flowey drawing like this she was like#'oh it makes sense! This one looks calm but this one is clearly you not feeling good'#Because I was kinda#Like sitting there in the semi-park and feeling sick since morning before I started drawing this and slowly I got better#I already talked about this on my first 'big' isat thing - I needed to think a bit#And not think at the same time just literally letting myself sort stuff out#Like. I fell asleep at 6 am that day and woke up at 10 4 hours of sleep after playing full Act 5 and two hats stuff IS STRESSFUL#SUPER STRESSFUL! Like I felt like I was playing for 4 hours while sleeping#Anyway by the time I finished it aka today I'm feeling way better and I'm literally talking a walk right now#Touching grass as we speak#Anyway phew!#Now to that animatic that's plaguing my mind to draw it nowww
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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Talking on the phone with my mom I finally broke down and cried thoroughly about the cancellation. I think I'd been holding it in for the last two days, or two months. And honestly I've been wondering all along why this show means so much to me. I am not queer, I am not neurodivergent, I am not POC or disabled or any of the groups that this show has been so important for in terms of representation and being treated with respect and dignity. I understand and completely empathize with all of you, and fight for this show and your rights worldwide alongside you, but it still left me wondering why I myself have latched onto Our Flag Means Death. I suppose part of it is that despite being white and cishet and the privileges that have always come with that, I have been treated like an outsider and ostracized my entire childhood and teenage years, for being ugly and having "disgusting" interests (primarily liking insects, reptiles, other creepy-crawlies - aka the thing I literally do for my career now). I was bullied relentlessly from preschool through early college and became a very lonely introverted person - I still am. Undoubtedly Our Flag Means Death gave me renewed hope that I haven't missed some key window for finding love or relationships of any kind that matter, as I sit here typing this at age 28 having never dated anyone.
But it had to be more than that. And with everything that's happened the past couple of months, and the last few days, I think it finally clicked for me.
Followers of my blog may or may not know that I am a conservation biologist, or pollinator ecologist, whichever hat fits best on a given day, they're quite close. I don't make many original posts like this anymore on here because my job is so busy. Basically, I do a variety of things - academic research, habitat management & restoration, and public outreach - to try and preserve biodiversity and ecosystems on our planet. I'm just going to say it: it's a thankless job. Nothing we do ever feels like it's enough, and burnout is common in our field because we sit with the guilt of feeling like we are the only thing between survival and utter destruction of planet Earth, and work ourselves to exhaustion. It's one of those jobs where your work is your life, and your passion is your work, and it's inseparable from who you are on a molecular level. We are often faced, on a large scale, with hostility, from people that don't believe in science and are more than happy to pull a shotgun on us, or rich old men in power who are content to watch the world burn for another penny in their bank account. There are days when sometimes it sinks in just how bad things are, and it's terrifying, and I feel like we will never be able to do enough, to change enough, before it gets catastrophic. It's paralyzing.
My ability to do my job is dependent on hope. Unwavering, unrelenting hope. Hope beyond hope. We have to believe what we're doing matters, otherwise we'd fall down and never get back up again. I'm no big-shot, I give talks to a few hundred people at a time, and make urban pollinator habitat on a local scale. Is any of that going to make a difference compared to the ramifications of a single oil mogul deciding to cut corners and cause an oil spill that kills millions of seabirds and damages ocean food chains for decades to come? If people in my field let thoughts like that linger, we'd be paralyzed to inaction. I have to hope that the people I teach choose to do something good with that knowledge, and go on to inspire others, or that the patch of habitat I make allows a declining species to maintain a foothold instead of going locally extinct. You just have to keep going.
And Our Flag Means Death got wrapped up in that for me. The Stede Bonnet effect, if you will. He set out to do pirating differently, treating his crew with respect and helping them grow. In return, they internalized that mindset, and it spread to how they interacted with others. It changed the trajectory of individual lives, and also at least began to change how the society of pirates operated as a whole. It was a beacon of hope that choosing small acts of kindness did matter, even if you yourself could not see the ripples it made. It renewed my faith that love persevered and would win. That we could all make life a little better for each other and ourselves through kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and mutual support. I think a good chunk of that is from Taika - these are running themes in his projects, and his films move me deeply for that. This show became in some, perhaps subconscious way, a source of strength for me to keep putting myself out there in my line of work to do whatever I was capable of to help the cause.
The cancellation was devastating, but the second cancellation (turbohell cancelation?) was even more so. Because now it's so clear that this is largely the work of David Zaslav and the regime he's built. It's petty, it's greedy, and more than anything, it's cruel. Indifferently, indiscriminately cruel, when one person at the top can have such power to make or break the lives of thousands, millions, beneath them, and though it would have been barely a drop in the bucket, a hand wave, to renew our show or let it pass to another streamer, he actively chose to shackle it to this sinking Titanic of a company WBD has become. I have always operated on the belief that you can do anything if you work hard enough at it, and believed deep down that there was some order, some justice in the universe, atheist though I be. We as a fandom did everything we possibly could, we loved this show harder than anything. The numbers were there, the awards nominations were there, the critic praise was there, and we were loud and loyal every single day. I felt like we could do this - how could we not win when we've done so much, and the show deserves it so much? Surely cause and effect will prevail.
This fight seemed small, though really it wasn't; we fought for the right of artists and creators to make quality, original stories and have them told to their natural end, we fought for diversity representation to be more than a token character - OFMD raised the bar so much higher on all fronts, we fought to shed light on the chaos and impending collapse of this industry silencing art and exploiting writers, actors, and all manner of production workers. It was a small fight from the outside, one that I really felt we could win. And I put my heart and soul into it, because if we could win this, if we could save this simple, kind love story about two guys on a boat, then maybe there was hope for the bigger, badder stuff too. It shouldn't seem an insurmountable task for several thousand fans to convince a streaming service that they'd turn a tidy profit to give our show one more season.
Yet we lost - through no fault of our own. I am so proud of us. But that really struck deep for me. If one peabrained CEO of a media company wouldn't budge on greenlighting a show that was in his every best interest business-wise - perhaps enough to even save Max from going under in the not-too-distant future - my god, what hope was there for changing anything bigger? The 'real' problems of the world? When no amount of ethos, logos, or pathos can penetrate these men at the top, where's that hope to fight? Lately the world seems like it's just going belly up all over. If we gave everything we could, and it still wasn't enough - if it could never be enough - what hope is there? It's like chaining yourself to a tree and the bulldozer plowing right on ahead. And I think that broke something in me. It shook me to my foundations because it broke my rules of how things are supposed to work. We believed hard enough, we worked tirelessly, and we deserved it for how important this show was to so many people. And it didn't matter. Our best wasn't enough. And that caused an avalanche of all of the horrible, scary things piled on my shoulders - we're losing the Amazon rainforest too fast to save, climate change is going to turn the corn belt into a dustbowl by mid-century, a border wall is going to devastate imperiled wildlife in Texas, deforestation and hurricanes on songbird wintering grounds could lead to entire species extinctions, saltmarshes are our lifeline and they're shrinking and we're still building stupid concrete stormwalls, invasive diseases will completely alter the composition of our forests to be unrecognizable to our children, and if you don't make every slide of this powerpoint utterly perfect and you fail to convince every single person in attendance to get rid of their lawn then you've failed and the world is doomed.
I've struggled with being a perfectionist my whole life. This didn't help.
That's where I was a couple hours ago. But I took some deep breaths. I know the world isn't fair. But I really thought if we could win this one battle, then we could win the war.
But here's what I realized. Everything we did mattered. It mattered so much. Because there's the show, and then there's everything that was birthed out of that show. The community, so many of us around the world who have been uplifted by Our Flag Means Death in a real and lasting way that we will take with us and spread to affect those around us. The Stede Bonnet effect goes global. We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for charities around the world, real people whose lives have been improved, or maybe even saved, because of us and this silly pirate show. We brought a hell of a lot of attention to WBD and their shitty practices, keeping the momentum going in a way that I think is only going to build - and I sure hope it leads to Zaslav getting deposed. We have demanded more queer stories, more BIPOC stories, more disabled and autistic and middle-aged stories, stories with exquisite costumes and award-worthy wigs, dear lord, and we are being heard. We have expressed such love and support for the cast and crew, showing them that we appreciate their hard work and that we will be behind them in their future projects. So many of them have told us how the show and its fans have changed their lives. We convinced Rhys that his career isn't winding down but winding up, and to be unapologetic about his wonderful weirdness - we've proven to everyone through this show that your weirdness is what someone out there is going to love you for, not in spite of. We rallied to help writers and actors during the strikes in a way that was taken to heart and remembered. We have been out here talking it through as a crew, and turning poison into positivity, for over two years now, and that impact is permanent. They can cancel our show, they can try and slap copyright notices on our fan merch, and spew bullshit excuses about the numbers not being there. But Our Flag Means Death sparked a movement, the biggest pirate crew the world has ever seen, using our power for good.
We may not have any more new material for our show for a while, or ever. But I maintain hope that when the dust has settled and streaming has entered its 'new era' that they'll remember us and throw us a lifeline. Because hope is a part of my genetic makeup, and even in cancellation my hope has been renewed that the fight is worth fighting, that our individual choices of kindness are having an effect, and making the world a little easier to live in bit by bit. No one can take from us what we have built out of this show. And thanks to pirating, they can't take the actual show from us either. Despite this, no matter the outcome, I am so happy we got two seasons of this wonderful series. That was more than almost anyone expected. The story belongs to all of us, and it will always live on. We did not truly lose this battle, because in the process we gained more than we could have ever imagined. And I know there's still so much more to come. That gives me the strength to keep doing what I do, every day.
To me, Our Flag Means Hope.
#our flag means death#ofmd#this is a very long post but I need to write it for me#seeing the outpouring of love on twitter today has really been so needed#also realizing after i finish this that my blog name is literally 'There is always hope'#so i mean. this really has been my brand since i started here#personal
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DARK CREAM WEEK: day 5- punish/reward
idk man i think your threats would work a lot more often if you stopped being so handsome about it fdrgbegh<333
dark cream week and comic are by @zu-is-here
#dark cream week#dark cream#my art#cross#dream#shattered dream#s!d#cross is just panicking a little bit! shattered could threaten to murder him and he'd still find that hot tbh... our favorite simp<333#no but GJGYIKH remind me to never listen to my ideas when i'm feverous xD#i swear i flip flopped so hard deciding what to do for that day omg#it was supposed to be angst at first but gosh enough of that already am i right?! something a little more lighthearted was needed!!#now this was supposed to be a small comic- then a comic with a little bit of animation in some panels- then an actual animation#because hey why not just put some more energy into it since it's really not that different right? <- famous last words#i'm sorry i'm a little tired xD you could not pay me to color/shade this like for real i just CAN'T#some parts could be smoother but hey! it's all good in the end >:'Dc#wish i could've posted it in time tho that would've been the first time i followed through a weekly event perfectly xd ah well#btw i'm also posting twice today!! i still need to finish the art for day 6 tho so it's gonna be a little later hgkhgh :'D#hope you guys like this!! <333
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[Start ID. A dark, warm-toned drawing of Tundra, a robot with bladed legs and mechanical hands both lightened by frost, and a face like that of a fencing mask. She wears a blue jacket with a fluffy white ruff and pockets on the shoulders and chest, a long green skirt with tassels and pale wavy lines at the border, and a brown belt with a pouch at the side. She's shown from the right, leaning back on a stack of pillows and a wooden wall as she looks out to the left, disregarding the open book in her hand, her legs bent in front of her. Under her is a yellow and red rug which pads gritty flooring, over her are series of low, round string lights, providing soft lighting in a room that's partially open to the night sky.]
it's a friend's birthday today yet again... in honor of the occasion here's a Tundra for @automatonknight :]
#peridots-art#tundra lisa#< for lisa the hopeful? not sure if it's right to add that but thought she could have an extra tag...#mieczmaszyna#< been a while since that url... speaking of older names (one from around this time last year) you'll never guess what she's reading hehehe#@qwerty second year in a row of drawing a guy for you yippie!!! i really like tundra's design AND i really like drawing cozy scenes like#this so. even if it's a small drawing and didn't take that long i'm happy it turned out well!! actually finished it quick enough that i had#to wait for it to turn 12 in my timezone to post it :] anyway all of your characters are so dear to me and if i don't end up personally#telling you later i hope you have a great day today!! ok well that's all i think + goodnight :]#others' ocs#< ok i DID miss a tag but i haven't used it in a while! now that's one i need to see to using more often hehehehehe#OH JUST REMEMBERED TOO. i was eating pierogis near when i first began drawing this. poland moment (???????)
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awesome when. you're procrastinating but for some reason you can't do the mindless enjoyable activities you want to do that would take your mind off whatever's causing anxiety because you have to do another activity (like khm meet up with a friend) so you get the worst of both worlds bc work isn't getting done and you're also anxious🩷
#cause. yesterday and today are my free days and listen‚ this friend cancelled last time and she's rarely free and our schedules haven't#matched up for like months !!! so i shouldn't put this off#but now my free days are “wasted” Without actually wasting time like i want to do 😔#honestly to be entirely honest i really really want to finish this fanfic. it's all i want i cannot emphasize enough how little of a shit i#give about this degree but i need to be done. with this#and i don't even have time to do this . bc i'm horrible at managing time and bc when it's not coming‚ i can't force it#like you can't squeeze sentences out if you're having a shit day and encountering mental blocks and all that. i mean i can't#so. i can't exactly schedule any kind of creativity?? since it's so elusive. does that make sense#if only i was still an unemployed good for nothing layabout💔 then i'd have so much time for stupid shit..#kata.txt
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It's amazing what a difference it makes when you get a better night of sleep in and don't have a headache, b/c trying to write yesterday was like pulling teeth. Today? So much nicer all around.
#ramble ramble ramble#since work's kicking off again next week there's a few more items to finish before calling it a day#but it's been really nice to get some hobby time in when I need to step away from work prep for a bit#and today the audiobook I was listening to really helped me relax too
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.
#so one half of the couple i'm house/dogsitting for had an unexpected medical emergency on their trip#which -- i won't go into details but it culminated in a pretty serious diagnosis and emergency major surgery#and now they're coming home today after getting medevac transport back to california#and have asked me to stay here for a few more days while they settle in#as the one who had the emergency needs 24/7 care during recovery but is being released from hospital to recover at home#and they need someone to basically keep looking after the dog/keep her from getting in the way while they figure out what care he needs#anyway i agreed to stay a few days like they asked#which means i'm trying to finish my coursework before they get back later this afternoon but man my focus levels are LOW#and honestly they have been for several days at this point because once again it seems that waiting to hear about medical stuff has become#somewhat of a panic response trigger for me since the extended nightmare of february this year with my dad#and mostly i've been able to compartmentalize but the energy that takes has truly wiped me out#to the point that i'm genuinely shocked it hasn't set off a fibro flare up (touch wood)#also i really don't know this couple very well at all -- they're mostly friends of my parents-in-law#i've looked after their dog for them several times over the past couple of years#but obviously that's been while they aren't home#and i've only had fairly brief interactions with them#so i do feel a bit awkward about being here while they're going through something so serious and personal#but they're nice people and they need the help and i'm able to provide it so i'm gonna push past that#anyway just a tag post venting thing
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The mortifying ordeal of being known:
Idk where you people came from, but thank you for staying ♡
#soapy.talks#let it be known I caught this at 4:44AM#tarotblr#also I've finished 4 three pile readings out of 7 for a themed pac I'm doing#did I really need to do all of them today? perhaps not#but since it's themed I kinda want to finish it quickly lest I lose interest#and end up with a half-finished themed pac that I refuse to post until they're all done#it's based on a book series btw because I'm feeling nostalgic hehe
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
-
(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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golden pheasant
#what do i tag this with#birds#golden pheasant#artists on tumblr#all my rat#kinda mixed on this one... i'm testing some things out#i'm on a roll rn though#i need more ideas#i really like golden pheasants‚ esp since phoenixes are one of my favorite things just in general#phoenixes are sometimes based on GP body type‚ along with golden eagles and herons#im on brown backgrounds today too apparently#i finished this one and the rin one on the same day
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sooo i gave FG his birthday present 😭🫣🥹
#sorry it’s been a minute since the latest update i haven’t really hung out with FG™️ for a looong time bc of exams but fortunately his bday#is the end of april soo i was able to do a lil celebration with him. sooo backtrack in february when he made me a LITERAL WEBSITE#i was thinking of what to get him so i prayed and the Holy Spirit said a playlist with a journal with all these Bible verses connected to th#songs which was fun to make but just took a lot#of work soo i was vvv busy doing that and classes soooo when i finally finished i surprised him outside his work place and then i asked if#he wanted to go anywhere specific to give him his present and he said no soo i suggested this cafe a lil outside our city soo we were#driving for 30 minutes and in my head i was like ok this is the perfect time to hold hands for a reeeeaalllllyy long time so i was just like#‘i want to hold your hand 🫣’ and he just handed his hand over and he was like ‘it’s that simple 😊 and i was holding his hand with both hands#bc i missed him sososo much so we got to the cafe ordered and i gave him his present and he was tearing up covering his mouth it was so swee#i couldn’t and he kept saying ty and this is exactly what he needed and i was like 😭🥹🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰 and he was sooo grateful and when we got in the#car he couldn’t stop looking at me and we held hands the whole time again 🥰😭🫣🫣🫣🫣#and then when he dropped me home we hugged for a reaalllyyyyy long time and he was just saying ty all over he’s such a darling sweetheart 😭🥰#so ya that’s the latest update i’m going to see him later today and hang out with him and another friend 😁🤗 i really want to hold his hand#again 🫣🥰🥺#vk overshares in the tags#friendly giant ™️#FG ™️
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good morning!!! <3
#hehe i finished the penacony quest yesterday#so now i have events & stuff to do#might give myself sunday off then i'll start those tomorrow#(especially since we need to get groceries and the extra time would be nice)#also!! it's breakfast day hehe <3#love the weekend so much#anyways#i really should post that little tiny fic i did w/ zayne#it's like 230 words so it's not even a major fic#maybe tonight if i remember :3#but anyways#i hope today/tonight is good for you!! <3#morning rambles
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hearing Alan talk about how much he liked Albert Grossman and Eric talk about how much he liked Brian Epstein makes my tiny emotional brain implode like GHGhHhh the Animals' actual manager was Not Good!!!!!!! they were actively looking at the managers of their contemporaries and wished they could've had that instead!!!!!!! 🥹
#alan's been talking A LOT about 'dont look back' at his concerts recently and g o s h everytime he does.... connie across the ocean weeps#especially since he talked about getting to know the bob squad in new york really well at first (WHICH I HAD A HUNCH ABOUT FOR A LONG TIME)#meaning that even when he was still touring with the animals!!!! he really looked up to albert!!!!!!!!!!!!#it wasn't just a case or him rushing to the bob squad after he left the animals for clout.... which i also been knew#IT WAS OUT OF COMFORT. SOLIDARITY. A NEED TO BE AROUND FAMILIAR FACES WHO WOULDN'T JUDGE HIM. GAHH G HHH#it hurts even more because ACCORDING TO ALAN.... bob and albert even asked him to join bob on tour!?!?!??#i have no idea what point the hawks entered the picture exactly bUT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE#hURTS ALL THE MORE. NO WONDER BOB WAS SO FRIENDLY WITH HIM AGHGGSGGGHFJDJDJDJSJ#alan couldn't do it because the fear of flying was just too strong... which bob completed respected and didn't try to force it#g o s h..... the universe where alan backed bob on keys....... wow#joan and bob.2: 'yayyyayaya!! alan price!!'#aNYWAY. HEARING ABOUT ALAN'S CONCERT LAST WEEK REALLY MADE MY BRAIN COLLAPSE.#also the bit about eric is also true..... he constantly talks about brian in his first autobio#constantly talks about how good of a manager he was and how he wishes they could've had brian instead 😭😭😭#ironic that the animals also eventually had a connection to allen klein through mickie most.... ggahhhhhhhhhhh#JEFFERIES. YOU TRAUMATIZED THEM. *shakes fist*#anyway..... at least alan and eric had each other <3 *proceeds to draw and write fix-it scenarios about them*#okay going to resume working on my 'misunderstood' project..... just finished the art eeeeee#i DREW CHAS AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE YESTERDAY!!!!!! 😄 btw. another Good Manager. he is a mother.#alan price#eric burdon#the animals#things i said today#mental illness is really strong today#dr pepper and 'shouts across the street' time#aleric#hehhehe haha heheh hehe teehee *explodes*
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The next time I post a multichapter, odds are I won't have the penultimate draft of the entire thing on the ready. We'll be way closer to working chapter by chapter*, baby!
(*I won't start posting before I have a FUNCTIONAL draft of the entire thing because omg)
#teruyo talk#sorry in advance to everyone who prefers fast-paced updates#but i actually quite like slower update schedules as a reader#and crucially i feel like i've driven myself into a corner by obsessing over being able to rush through posting if necessary#i had a way better time editing white lotus and the immortals for a reason#and i assume why it took me FOREVER to finish tenshi disappears which is really a simple fic#is that i felt i HAD to have it all done even though in retrospect the rough draft would've been sufficient as a starting point#i mean it's also pretty short so this approach was still fine but going forward i need to change things around#SO a relaxed schedule for the next multichapter(s) it is#this isn't even relevant right now since i have a couple of things to wrap up before i get to those broken multichapters#and you'll never believe this#I'M ILL AGAIN#my fever's gone now so maybe i can edit today but my throat is so goddamn congested ARGH#literally began the day after i wrapped up posting LMAO and out of nowhere too#BUT LET'S KEEP FIGHTING#all of us. hang in there
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