#since I have recently acquired a new topic of obsession

[quandaryqueen]

Since requests are open again, could you perhaps do some headcannons for Yandere! Young Justice Riddler?

White knuckle jerk

Yandere Young Justice Edward Nygma X Reader

Yandere? YJ Eddie? Oh my god my loves 😍💕 oh lordy labacamoo, I love you for requesting this. I am so sorry it took too long, I just really needed the time to think about how I can do this request justice and I really hope I did

Also, I'd love to try something new for the Reader's role. You'll see.

CW: Yandere Content, Toxic Relationship Dynamic

💚 Yanderes are a different kind of breed, aren't they? Just the absolute worse, to think they are entitled to a person just because the object of obsession looked their way once and now the Yandere won't stop until they're satisfied on how they have their darling in their grasp.

There are myriad classifications of Yandere. There's the sadistic, protective, delusional, laid-back, vouyeristic, etc etc.

Then there's Edward Nygma, the Riddler, the pathetic one. The one who tries to hold over control over his darling in a way that's degradingly cute of him to try and cuff you to the bed, only to apologize, kneeling, crying, clinging, pleading for you to forgive him, as he kisses your feet for forgiveness.

💚 You were caught as object of obsession, the hot topic among circles of villainy, you've made a name for yourself, an instant terror struck upon the masses and a threat to be snuffed out... All he ever wanted.

And so he set out to watch you for his pure fascination. How does one person in which a calibre like yours operates?

Well for one, he kept a record of your agenda and had managed to track footage of you through various security cameras from wherever you go. It was difficult at first but it's certainly a tell of his determination. From the direction of your headquarters, the bank you recently robbed, a construction site you rigged with explosives as bait for the heroes, your life as a civilian as well, wherein he'd observe you go on about your alter ego where you managed to hide your identity very well. It's simply laughable how you aren't cuffed by the police yet with this amount of footage.

Seeing you go from the cold, masked monster to a warm face that smiles back during encounters was jarring, but fascinating to him. And he can't even tell which one was an act and which was genuine.

💚 Now, the tricky part was making himself known... Wait... Isn't he already known? He has to be, he's been trying to establish himself as one of the greatest threats of Gotham, of course he'd be known! You'd know who he is! Who doesn't?

Anyways... He has pinpointed your latest agenda, striking up a deal with a little known rogue who has yet to make a name for themself. It would be easy to acquire access of their contacts, plus he thinks his reputation would be a great addition to be considered when he plans to make himself known to them as an ally and as a result, get to meet you.

💚 A crush? No. Fascination is the correct word. He isn't above admitting he looks up to you, that he admires your way of doing things and would like to emulate that.

💚 When the time came, he establish himself as an ally of the team, he finally met you.

"V/N, I presume? Your reputation precedes you,"

"Ah, I forgot. Y/N, this is the Riddler." Edward glances at the third person, who is apparently on a first name basis with you. And not to mention, how they sound more at ease around you.

"Riddler... I've heard of him. The one with the question marks," You merely looked over your friend with disinterest as if he weren't there. "And what other help can he offer our cost? Other than being utilised for a... Questionable bait." You paused, trying to find a word less offensive.

"I can assure you-- I'm quite effective in wide ranges of cyber-related needs, strategies, techs--"

"I suppose we can make use of you. Now, if you were to excuse us for a moment, I'd like to talk to Gaslight alone."

Edward practically shrank under your intensive gaze, before wordlessly excusing himself.

💚 One would think he'd be turned off after your display of decorum (lack thereof), he was not. For one, this treatment wasn't particularly new for him and second, he expected this. He has been watching you after all. What's more, he was compelled. How it will all feel worth it once he has done the unthinkable, the impossible. Little ol' him.

He was on the team. That, he can tick off the checklist. Now all to do was to get along with you or Gaslight, the rogue who has agreed to work with him. You seem to get along with them very well and perhaps through a mutual friend, he can develop a bond with you.

It was no easy task, he was prepared from the mount Everest of a research, you would be the most difficult person to conquer in any way. There was nothing you find more repulsive, like submitting under someone. Let alone someone like him. But he felt in control.

He knows what to do, what to expect.

💚 Everything about you wasn't easy. You are irritable to anyone you don't like, save for a few people you tolerate. You also pick up one of the myriads of masks and use it for your own benefit, building a beguiling reputation for being a soft-hearted, thoughtful angel to some, not so much when they turned around.

He was aware of just how you are when you're at your worst, striking unprovoked and ruining someone's life for your benefit without much an ounce of regret and how you can do that to anyone, including those who you seem to have deceived that you have bond. By the looks of it, you might do the same thing to him. But he doesn't care. If that makes him more to you, then take whatever you want from him.

💚 Stupidly persistent, determined, willing to take damage if it means pleasing you. Everything he takes from you, from the verbal hits to the bruises and welts, he was going to take it. Somehow, someway, he is going to have you under his control soon, pull the rag from under your feet...

And in his delusions, he sees himself as this soon to be dominant, in-control, ever so merciful Yandere who will be your everything. In his head, that's his conclusion. In reality, he couldn't hurt you, he couldn't bear the thought of making you cry, let alone lose all the things you want... But if he had to do that, then so be it. It would have been for a better cause, he justifies.

💚 It just so happens your second-in-command, best friend, Gaslight, first name Gayle and last name Ilaw happened to have failed to escape an exploding building from one of your missions... But don't worry, Edward was there for you, he will be your new best friend... Or more, if you'd like.

"What did you not understand about what I said?" You utter coldly, sparing no glances at the hindrance that is Edward. "Don't make me repeat myself."

"I am so sorry for your loss," Edward approaches your slumped figure standing by the balcony. He felt as though he was in your good graces to be excluded from the goons you've yelled at to leave after receiving the news of Gaslight's death.

Gaslight... Long time friend, someone you considered as family. Second-in-command, confidante... An important piece of you Edward had to yank out in hopes of filling her role. It was a massive gap to fill, but you should know by now, he would do anything.

"If you need someone to talk to, I am always a call away."

Edward could not help but to smile as he exit.

The normal you would have barked at him... This development was just what Edward needed, to see the cracks form and soon enough he'd be there to pick up the pieces for you. It will only be just a matter of time until he reduce you into nothing but broken shards of what used to be you, needing to be made whole again with him by your side.

[mame-bean]

When it comes to most topics in conversation, I have a very limited vocabulary, consisting mostly of the words “oh” “yeah” and “oof.”

But if someone dares to bring up (or worse yet, ask me about) a topic that I’m super into, be prepared for me to launch us into freakin space with the amount of words I have to say…

Paragraphs, text walls, endless minutes and constant gushing about the topic anytime something reminds me of it… I forget how to shut up especially if it’s a new interest that I’ve poured my soul into.

My deepest apologies to everyone who has had to deal with this from me, and my sincerest gratitude to those who stick around and put up with my obsessive tendencies. 😅❤️

[wyrdify]

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s been plastered all over every social media website I’ve been on, and I’ve had friends on other sites talking about it. I’ve also seen it on here, and I decided I’m going to continue my trend of being open about my own mental health. In doing so, I have a few goals: to help lessen the stigma surrounding mental illnesses, to let others know it’s okay to talk about what they live with, and to just get my brain to move onto another topic.

So, let’s get down to it.

My brain works great when I present stuff in list or outline format, so that’s what I’m going to do to start with.

These are the mental illnesses I live with every single day:

Dermatillomania

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Major Depression Disorder

OCD

Trichotillomania

A couple of these may seem unfamiliar to folks, and there are definitely preconceived notions about all of them, so I’ll share a little bit about what they look like for me in another section.

My family/personal history that contributes to my mental health:

Alcoholism (namely family members, but I bordered on becoming an alcoholic before I was 21)

Emotional abuse / gaslighting

Involvement in a cult

Loss of family members

Neglect (namely medical)

Other shit I’m not quite comfortable talking about in a public setting

What these mental illnesses look like for me:

Dermatillomania: It means I like picking at my skin, particularly recently acquired cuts or wounds. For me, my brain likes to make myself bleed, and it perceives that feeling, that pain, as good.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder: I worry about things and blow them out of proportion. Worst case scenarios are easy for me to imagine, and I overthink just about everything. Big surprises, the unknown, and anything outside of my control can make me panic.

Major Depressive Disorder: I’m tired a lot, and I often have trouble focusing or concentrating for long periods of time. Small things like putting something away takes extra effort, and I’ll often lose interest in things I normally enjoy. Since I was at least thirteen years old, I’ve also experienced thoughts of self-harm and suicide.

OCD: This links back to my anxiety, and it’s connected to the derma/trich stuff. I don’t do well when I don’t know something, or there’s any sort of uncertainty. I need things to be done in a certain way, and often in a certain order, or my brain will figuratively set itself on fire. I also need things organized in a specific way, or I get the same result. That’s the obsessive part. The compulsive part comes from following a somewhat strict routine along with counting in specific patterns, arranging my stuff in specific ways, and stuff like that.

Trichotillomania: Similar to the dermatillomania, but with hair. Often without thinking, I’ll pull my hair out. Sometimes, I do it purposefully because my brain thinks it helps with anxiety. This has also led to me having general issues when it comes to my hair in general.

What that family/personal history looked like for me:

Alcoholism: A lot of people in my family, including both parents, are alcoholics. They consume a lot of alcohol. I was pressured to start drinking alcohol when I was around 13-14 years old. When I was in my late teens, I would drink just to make myself feel better. Due to my intense fear of throwing up, though, I never let myself progress past tipsy. I don’t drink any alcohol now due to my medications and the knowledge that I could easily fall into alcoholism.

Emotional abuse: This is wide-ranging and extensive, honestly, and gaslighting was a huge part of it. What I’m going to do instead is link some things that explain what I lived with for most of my life. With this article from PsychCentral, I can check off every single thing on that list. This link from womenshealth.gov also covers what I dealt with.

Involvement in a cult: Insert nervous laughter. Starting around the end of middle school to the start of high school, my parents started getting involved in a cult that centers itself on therapy and self-help with some spiritual elements. Therapy through them was the only way to get help, or it wasn’t valid. My family is still involved in this cult, and I managed to get myself out of it when I moved back in 2013.

Loss of family members: In 2005, I suddenly lost my godfather, my dad’s brother. I saw him as more of a father than my biological dad, especially considering he curbed or otherwise acted as a buffer for my dad’s abusive behavior. In 2011, I lost my paternal grandmother, someone I was incredibly close to and trusted more than my parents. She also helped curb my parents’ abusive behavior, and her house was a safe place for me to go.

Neglect: I’ve said this before when talking about my epilepsy, but I was not allowed to go to doctors. Any medical issues, which included mental illnesses, I had were my fault, too expensive, inconvenient, or all in my head. It is also my belief that my mother pressured my pediatrician to tell me that my seizures were not neurological when I was sixteen years old. To this day, my parents are still very anti-doctor and borderline anti-vax.

Whoo, that was a lot of stuff, and I’m not even done---because of course not. Now, as the last part (I think), I’m going to list some things I do and personality quirks as a result of all this shit.

Confrontation/angry voices scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I shut down. I dissociate. I freeze, or I otherwise try to escape. Sometimes, this will come across as me trying to find ways to change the subject, not saying anything at all, or just agreeing with things because it’s easier.

I cry when people tell me they love me, and I often have to stop myself from saying things like “Thank you”, “Why?”, or asking for further explanation.

I doubt my memory and emotions a lot. To combat this, I keep logs, paper trails, and notes of just about everything. If I remember something that someone else doesn’t, or I have a different emotional response than someone else, I tend to assume the other person is right.

I feel guilty for everything. Somehow, everything becomes my fault, my responsibility, and I have to fix everything. This leads to apologies being my go-to responses for a lot.

I have trouble advocating for myself or saying that I need something. Needing things = bad in my brain.

I info-dump. My brain tells me people should have all of the information possible, so I do it. This includes telling people when I’m going to bed for the night or when I’m going somewhere.

I only feel safe crying when there’s no one else around.

I overthink every single thing I say and type.

I put everything in alphabetical order if possible.

I use writing to cope with feelings and other issues I’m dealing with.

I will listen to sad or otherwise emotional songs over and over again to help me get feelings out.

I will often perceive my issues as “not as bad as what other people deal with” and not talk about them. I’ll downplay what I deal with and shove it under a rug while trying to help others because, otherwise, I’ll feel selfish, self-centered, and attention-seeking.

If I can’t have my bowl of cereal for breakfast in the morning, it has the power to ruin my entire day, and I feel rather silly about it.

Lots of all or nothing and black and white thinking. Perfectionism also plays into this. If I can’t do something right the first time, or if things aren’t done perfectly, my brain will not let it go.

Physical contact without my explicit and verbal consent makes me cringe and feel incredibly uncomfortable. It can get to the point that even the thought of it happening triggers nausea. 

These are explanations for things I do and why I act in certain ways. They are not excuses, and they are things I’m working on to the best of my ability. I’m currently on a wait list to get a new psychologist so I can start going to therapy again since I know I need it. When I had it in the past, it was incredibly helpful and empowering to me. Since about February, my depression started to get worse, especially as I felt like things were falling apart around me. It rises and it falls. Nowadays, it’s just a little worse in the sense that I find shutting down easier, and I struggle to do anything that isn’t a video game.

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it needs to be acknowledged as such. If sharing what I deal with helps even one person, then I consider it worth it.

That is all. I hope everyone is doing okay. If you’re not, though, that’s okay. It’s okay to not have good days or otherwise not feel physically or mentally okay. One day, that lesson will stick with me on a more permanent basis.

Love,

Kai

[tiesandtea]

SUEDE – now with humour

Suede featured in the Danish free music magazine GAFFA shortly after A New Morning came out, October 2002 (no. 10). An interview with Brett and Mat, short comments on the album tracks, and a review. 

Photos by Casper Helmer and Morten Larsen. The magazine can be downloaded as .pdf here (look for pages 22-24 and 50).

Translation of the interview by Peter Albrechtsen under the cut. Own work.

OUT OF THE DARK

Brett Anderson and the rest of Suede have acknowledged that the substance that dreams are made of can neither be ingested nor inhaled. It has to come from the heart. And it does on their new album A New Morning, which was one of the topics of conversation when GAFFA met a transformed band in Copenhagen

FIRST HE TURNS LEFT, TAKES A FEW STEPS FORWARD and looks towards the mirror in front of him. Then he turns right, but keeps looking at himself. Everything is taking place in sliding movements, and there is evidently some satisfaction with what the mirror shows: The black leather jacket with a retro cut and a white back label sits tight around the slender, yet top-trimmed body.

If you didn't know better, you would think that Brett Anderson was practicing for a catwalk. The 35-year-old Suede frontman is hardly going to throw himself into that kind of thing for the time being, though he would be guaranteed to do well with his obvious expertise in hip twists, affectations and flirting from the edge of the stage. Right now, though, Brett is in a Copenhagen luxury hotel, where he's trying on a jacket just purchased by the band's British make-up artist, Nicci Welsh, who eagerly watches Brett's shameless poses. Brett is satisfied, but he has a twinkle in the eye at the same time, which reveals that something is hiding behind the charismatic singer's wide smile and chalk-white teeth.

–What do you say, Mat? Isn't it cool? Brett asks and looks over to his childhood friend, bassist Mat Osman, who understands well the look Brett's sending: Now, Mat must nod affirmatively. So he does. Brett looks over at Nicci with "thank you – yes, he would like to take the leather jacket home with him to London". But Nicci has also noticed Brett's hidden agenda and politely but firmly points out that "if you just thought to give it to a friend when you get back to London, then you can easily forget that."

Oops. Brett is exposed and quickly hands the jacket back to Nicci, but his now even cheekier grin shows that he certainly does not feel guilty, but simply perceives the whole scene as a bit of a show-off. As he himself puts it, a few minutes later: –Had it been three years ago, I would have kept the jacket for fun and given it to a friend 14 days later – simply to take advantage of my position as a pop star.

In other words, Brett Anderson has undergone certain changes over the three years since Suede's previous album, Head Music, and their brand new, fifth opus A New Morning. And the changes apply not just to his relationship to leather jackets, but simply to his whole lifestyle. In fact, the whole band's lifestyle.

Breakdown

Ever since the ten-year-old debut single, The Drowners, Suede have been heavy consumers of drugs all over the world, and they have never hidden that. Right from deliberately ambiguous song titles as Heroine and The Chemistry Between Us for opinions on the benefits of narcotics in provocative interviews, which the sensationally horny British press has lapped up themselves. "Coke is good for sex", "it's great to hear music on ecstasy" and "it's better to take drugs than to drink, because then you have a better next day" – all immortal quotes from Anderson.

But now it's over: Suede is clean – or something like that – and Brett clearly states that "I have become a happier person. My life on hyperspeed is a chapter over. I've even gotten into a good shape!"

–You start taking drugs because you want to feel good. It's that simple. And at some point, you do not feel good any more. It's that simple, too. That's what happened to us, Brett states in a dry and declaratory way.

Since Head Music, Suede had to say goodbye to keyboardist Neil Codling, who collapsed due to overexertion on Suede's tour in Australia in the autumn of 2000 (actually 1999). Half a year later, he quit completely because he suddenly had a relapse after having been recovering otherwise, and was about to break down completely. Neither Brett nor Mat clearly want to talk about it, but then admit that "it made them reflect on some things around both the band and themselves“. Brett, however, insists that “It was many different elements that led to what has happened with our lifestyle in recent years. Both the band and I myself have entered a new stage."

The changes around both Brett and Suede have also taken place over a longer period. First, Anderson started with giving the critics right who had complained loudly that he repeated himself on Head Music. Then he moved from the hectic London into his newly acquired country house in the peaceful natural area of Croydon (somewhat similar to when he moved into a monastery to write the texts of Suede's eight-year-old masterpiece Dog Man Star). He totally isolated himself, lived without a telephone and television, "buried" himself in literature and wrote the first lyrics for A New Morning.

–Oh, now it's starting to sound like I've gone and became boring, Brett chuckles, but hurries to add: -This is certainly not the case. In the old days, I deliberately avoided literature because I was terrified that literature would spoil my pure language. I would not be a sexless secretary who clapped on a typewriter. But now, I have found out that it doesn't necessarily have to end that way, and I read like an obsessed now. I read like a motherfucker. In one of the new songs, Obsessions, I refer to Bret Easton Ellis, but my favorite author is Albert Camus.

Actually, my paranoia about literature just says all about how far out I once have been. I was so afraid that my mindset would be infected by everything possible, but honestly, I must have had a hysterical tendency to pump everything up to pretentious heights. After all, both love and music are in fact very basic emotions, Brett says, who, however, admits he let out a roar when he went as far as to get his hair bleached last year ("it looked like crap, for God's sake," he sighs with one head-shaking laugh). However, it was an obvious sign that Brett felt the changes coming. And enjoyed it to the fullest drag.

Producer problems

In fact, Brett enjoyed being away from the big city so much that he persuaded the others to go to Iceland for a while and work further on the material that gradually became structured. In Iceland, the band briefly collaborated with Sigur Rós producer Ken Thomas, who, however, should turn out to be the first in a series of failed attempts to find the perfect producer.

–The magic was missing, Mat explains, but the creativity did not fail, and the band engaged in vastly different concepts around the upcoming album – "we considered making both a pure acoustic pop and an electronic folk record."

A New Morning became none of those. After leaving former Beck producer Tony Hoffer, Suede ended up slipping into the studio with Stephen Street, who is best known for his collaboration with The Smiths and Blur, and with Street behind the mixer, a renewed focus was there. The opening number Positivity took only three hours to write, and Brett describes it as "one of those magical moments in a band where everything melts together in the most beautiful way."

Those kinds of moments are, of course, the result of the fact both I and the rest of the band are dedicated to the music in a different way than before. Every single moment in music is important to me now. Every single moment in my life is important now. I have rediscovered both myself and the music, proclaims Brett, who hasn't changed in one aspect: He is still extremely talkative, well-worded and energetic – even when he explains it new album title:

–It's not so strange if A New Morning sounds as a religious quote – the last few years have truly felt as a bit of a revelation. We have chosen to see life from a new perspective. We have pretty much spent the 90s on an insanely exalted search for success, fame, money and all that sort of thing. Of course, music was the starting point, but it was all about consuming, savouring and worshipping life excessively. For me, this record is about having a completely different approach to life: Life is something small, fragile and completely unique. Something to watch out for. The new record is simply more intimate, human and much more honest.

This shouldn't be perceived as if Brett is now taking distance to his characteristic textual universe populated by the sad fates of the big city. On the contrary.

–I still have a great sympathy for people who are left in the lurch by the system and politicians, and I will continue to have that, he emphasizes, adding that "it's very much my self-understanding that has changed recently – not my worldview". Osman nods approvingly at Brett's side and adds with no hidden allusion to the title Dog Man Star, that "if you were born in a pigsty, you have so much to achieve, so much to flee from" – both Brett and Osman originally come from the unglamorous London suburb of Haywards Heath.

–Our songs have always been about ordinary people who achieve extraordinary things, and that's how we have been as a band as well, I think. You can easily be something special, even if you come from the pure nothing, and we have stuck to it, even though we have personally driven it too far into the extremes. We are still very much real people who have lived very real lives, and our songs are still about very real feelings, Brett points out.

–We will always fight for all the people who are trying to cope against all odds, and who try to maintain pride in adversity and frustration. Now we just have more surplus, passion and energy ourselves to fight the battle. Now we can really do it with an open heart.

Photo descriptions: "I HAVE RE-DISCOVERED BOTH MYSELF AND MUSIC" Brett Anderson "I HAVE BECOME A HAPPIER PERSON. I'VE EVEN GOTTEN INTO A GOOD SHAPE!" Brett Anderson

A New Morning

– according to Suede themselves

Positivity

Brett: –In many ways our programme statement: It really strikes a new, more cheerful tone. As I said, it was written in no time, and that's pretty incredible for us, because we're really perfectionists when it comes to songwriting.

Lost In TV

Brett: –Probably my favorite track on the album. The melody is based on backing vocals, and in that part, the song is more related to the Beach Boys and the Beatles than to old Suede. Why is there no one doing that kind of thing anymore?

Obsessions

Brett: –This is the last piece we wrote for the record. That's my favorite text. The fun of it is that the lyrics are in a way very personal, but at the same time guaranteed incredibly universal. I will undoubtedly receive many fan letters about that song.

Lonely Girls

Brett: –One of the first songs we wrote. A lovely lullaby-like groove. We even use bongo drums on it. A really nice number, which probably comes from the fact that I originally wrote the melody while I was in the countryside.

Beautiful Loser

Brett: –One of those songs where I really sing in a different way than usual: Harder, raw, dirty. In many ways, it's the album's ultimate live number: The energy is fearless, and the chorus is silly.

Streetlife

Mat: –It started as krautrock: The same groove that ran and ran and ran for eight minutes – it was totally Germany in 1971 – but it changed radically when the chorus appeared purely out of nowhere.

Ashtray Girl

Mat: –Ashtray Girl and Beautiful Loser are perceived the most as “old-school Suede”, but actually, they were both written by Alex Lee, who is our brand-new keyboardist. Funny, right? Another funny thing is that the lyrics are totally meaningless.

Untitled

Mat: –My favourite along with Streetlife – right complex and yet a simple song. Originally a very folk-like song, but our producer Stephen Street made it more electric. Suddenly we began to sound like a whole band.

...Morning

Mat: –It's about getting up in the morning, and we discussed a lot how we could underpin that with sound. Several weeks later, we ended up sticking a microphone out of Brett's kitchen window. So simple. So difficult.

One Hit To The Body

Brett: –It's our attempt to make an I Will Survive. It's about me having to pull through, no matter how smashed I am. Actually an old song we rediscovered in the studio. Reminds of Bruce Springsteen, oh.

When The Rain Falls

Brett: –Believe it or not: it was originally a spoken-word number in the style of Serge Gainsbourg. I sat down and breathed heavily into the microphone. Now it has become something else after all, for I had to admit that I sounded neither French nor sexy.

Suede: A New Morning

Reviewed by Jan Opstrup Poulsen

After the very electric Head Music, Suede landed soft and comfortable in the poetic corner of A New Morning. Brett Anderson still sings about beautiful losers and self-created troubles of youth, but melodically, A New Morning is a luminous and optimistic album. As on the masterpiece Coming Up, it’s the individual songs that are in the centre, like little stars in the night sky. But Suede doesn’t have the usual tempo of melodies at all. A New Morning is distinctly an album of ballads, and in Brett Anderson's most captivating moments, the album hits sublime moments. There are more typical Suede songs on the album, like the excellent Beautiful Loser, that we have heard from them before. A ballad like When The Rain Falls doesn’t change the state of affairs either, although one has to indulge in a grumpy admiration how Suede fabulously handle these ballads. On the other hand, great things happen in the opening song Positivity, which is a proudly towering pop song. This magnificent approach to pop songs fits Suede's finely tuned melodies like a glove and is well followed up on several songs on the album like Lost In TV and Astrogirl. Brett Anderson hasn’t become less affected, and guitarist Richard Oakes balances, as always, on the edge of disruptive, to end up in a harmonious melody line. But on the more ordinary songs, Brett Anderson sings with the desperation of an angry rock singer and to that extent, he reaches beyond the edge of the stage as a performer. A New Morning therefore has all the ingredients for a good Suede album that will divide the record people between rapture and contempt for these assumed excesses, respectively. But it's just too sour to be negative when the world can be so bright and inviting.

[svnflowery]

the wish not granted - l.dh

pairing: donghyuck x reader, jaemin x reader

word count: 3.6k

genre: unrequited love au, childhood friends au, a bit of fluff?, angst

warnings: like three curse words

Donghyuck heard a burst of loud laughter and looked at the source: you, who were having fun in the swings, your legs dangling and your eyes shining with glee, laughing blissfully at the tickling sensation of the wind in your hair, your small hands holding the ropes tightly. Donghyuck smiled at the sight, his heart feeling warm. With your yellow overalls, you reminded him of a sunflower and he jumped out of his swing to go look for one. “Where are you going?”, asked your high-pitched voice, curious eyes following his form. Donghyuck looked around, thinking of a direction to take which could lead him to some sunflowers. “On a secret mission!” and with that, he dashed towards the outskirts of the park you two were in. It was a big one, so you lost him after a few seconds. You shrugged your small shoulders, still curious but not enough to abandon your precious swing, aware of the other kids who were waiting for you to leave it behind to take it. Donghyuck looked everywhere in the park, but with no luck – there was no trace of any sunflower. He didn’t accept defeat, though, so he switched to his plan b and got you a small dandelion. He picked the biggest one, carefully, and ran towards the swings again, careful not to let the wind blow the dandelion. He quickly arrived and signaled for you to stop swinging, smiling cheekily with his little arm behind his back. You looked at him, cocking your head to the side in a mix of confusion and curiosity, but stopped swinging nonetheless. Donghyuck showed you his arm then, thrusting the flower forwards for you to take it. A wide grin spread through your face, taking it with excitement. “Hyuckie! This is so pretty!” you shouted in excitement, tugging at his arm to hug him tightly, smushing the flower a bit. Donghyuck laughed and urged you to make a wish, explaining to you that his mom had told him once that if you blew a dandelion, it would grant you a wish. Your eyes sparkled at that, delighted with the new information you had acquired. You thought for a moment, tongue peeking out of your mouth just the tiniest bit, a habit of yours that showed when you were lost in thought. You flicked your fingers in realization and looked at the boy, smiling with your eyes. “I want to be with you forever, Hyuckie!” and you blew the dandelion, giggling. Donghyuck smiled shyly, a rosy tint on his cheeks. But what you both didn’t know is that, for the wish to be granted, it had to be whispered in your mind, out of hearing of others. - Years had quickly passed, and you both had entered puberty. The voice changes, the hormones and the weird, constantly changing of your bodies didn’t separate you, though, still the best friends you were in that little park. It was your 15th birthday, and your family was having a big barbecue in the garden. Your mother had invited Donghyuck’s family over, so it was pretty crowded. In all honesty, you were having fun until the cake came and everyone’s eyes were on you. You didn’t like the attention and felt nervous as you stared the candles down. “Come on, sweetie! Make a wish!” urged your mother, behind her phone recording you. You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, thinking of a wish. You remembered that day in the park then and opened your eyes looking for Donghyuck’s comforting ones. You smiled at him and blew the candles, the whole garden erupting into cheers. The birthday party had been fun after all, and you were now picking up the trash it had left behind. Almost everyone had left or was inside the house; leaving you and Donghyuck in the solitude of your garden, the sunset behind you. “What did you wish for?” your best friend asked suddenly, breaking the silence. You shook your head, a small smile making its way to your face. “If I tell you, it won’t become real,” you told him, giggling playfully as you threw the dirty plates to the bin, turning to look at him. He was offering you his best kicked puppy look, pouting and blinking innocently. You laughed at the sight, the setting sun kissing your face in just the needed places to make it shine. Donghyuck focused on you, for a small moment, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist. His heart picked up and he felt his stomach churn weirdly. He shook his head, the familiar rosy tint making its way into his cheeks leaving a confused feeling behind, setting into his heart and penetrating it with force. Donghyuck looked at the ground, now flushing a deep shade of red. You were pretty, you always had been. But why was your face making him feel this way now? His hands were starting to tremble when your voice broke him out of his bubble, making him look at you again. You laughed whole-heartily, patting his shoulder. “Was the cake that bad? You look like you want to throw up.” Donghyuck laughed sarcastically, but it came out a bit strained. He pointed an accusing finger at you, a devilish smirk plastered into his face. “Don’t change topics! You have to tell me your wish. You shrugged your shoulders, like what you were about to say wasn’t a big deal. “I wished to stay with you forever, Hyuckie.” Donghyuck looked at the ground then, smiling bashfully. You grinned widely at him, pushing his shoulder softly. - The sudden sound of his name being called woke Donghyuck up from his slumber, making him look around in alert, wide eyes no longer sleepy. He realized it was just you, looking at him with a hand over your mouth to prevent your laughing fit to escape. “You were falling asleep,” you murmured, aware of the teacher who could hear you if you talked higher than that. Donghyuck sighed and let himself fall in the chair, deflated and a little grumpy now that his sleep had been interrupted. “Yeah, no shit.” You rolled your eyes and continued your note-taking process, giving him a side-eyed glance. “A thank you would work perfectly fine, I just saved your ass from getting detention” you scolded him, “but go off I guess.” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out but still thanked you, a half-smile plastered on his face. The day had been impossibly slow, and Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to arrive home and nap. You were walking by his side, talking animatedly about this new movie that had come out recently, suggesting him to go watch it together. He sighed quietly, supprising a small yawn. He was tired after a hard week of exams and projects. But he looked at you all excited about the stupid film and he saw how your eyes sparkled and how you couldn’t suppress a smile while you talked about the plot, your hands gesticulating animatedly, and he felt his throat tighten. His stomach felt like a big knot, and he could swear he felt his heart stop. You were breathtaking in every way, and he couldn’t say no to the galaxies in your eyes when you looked at him. The day had passed in the blink of an eye. Donghyuck had been feeling weird flips in his stomach all day, and they only got stronger when he looked at you. You both had bought a giant popcorn bowl in the movie theatre, but you ended up eating most of it; Donghyuck too nervous to bring himself to eat more than a handful. “Did you like the movie?” you asked him once you had gotten out of the cinema, swinging your interlocked hands. Holding hands wasn’t something rare for you both, as you have been doing it since you were children; but lately, Donghyuck had started to become too aware of it, of the way your hand felt against his and how it was always cold. It means I have a warm heart, you told him once when he asked you. He agreed, you are the warmest person I know, he had thought. But he didn’t say it out loud. “Hyuck?” He looked at you, realizing he had spaced out thinking about you, again. He nodded, looking at the way your eyes shined at his answer. “That’s great! I absolutely loved it. The end was so unexpected, though!” and you started rambling again, lost in your excitement. Donghyuck smiled fondly at you and ran his thumb over your knuckles, a familiar softness making its way into his heart while looking at you and your bubbly blabbering. After you both grabbed a quick dinner and sat in the familiar park, you looked at the stars, sighing in content after eating the yummy dinner, your eyes reflecting the moonlight. Donghyuck couldn’t stop looking at you, fascinated with the way the stars danced in your eyes, as if he was under a spell. He laughed inwardly, remembering that one time you were obsessed with fairies in middle school and told him once that love was a weird, magical spell. “I’m gonna throw the trash, I’ll be right back” he murmured, standing up. You nodded at him with a small smile and resumed your stargazing. On his way back from the trashcan, Donghyuck found a small dandelion. It was sitting lonely beside a weird-shaped rock, and he didn’t think twice before taking it and coming back to you, his arm behind his back and a knowing smile on his face. You looked at him, raising a questioning brow, when he revealed the little dandelion, putting it near your face. “Wanna make a wish?” he asked, a playful grin adorning his face. You laughed in delight at the deja-vu. “Is this a tradition now?” Donghyuck’s ears turned a soft shade of pink and you stuck out your tongue, just like years back, thinking. You smiled suddenly, your eyes smiling with you. “If it is, we should follow it then, don’t you think, Hyuckie?” you made a small pause, before whispering as if telling a secret. “I want to be with you forever, Hyuckie.” and then you blew, the dandelion dancing away in the wind. Donghyuck could swear he felt his heart jump out of his ribcage at that moment. - A sudden splash of water startled Donghyuck and made him fall out of his float into the cold water. He heard your laugh underwater and swam quickly to you, who were squealing trying to swim away from him – to no avail, as he ended up taking you in his arms, laughing evilly. “Donghyuck!” you screamed between laughter, squirming under his grasp in useless attempts to get out of his strong grip. You both had gone to Donghyuck’s pool, the summer heat being unbearable under the hot August sun. It had been really fun, you swam and laughed until you both were completely tired, playing with a ball which sadly had ended up flying too far and it was now lost in Donghyuck’s neighbors’ garden. After that, you had played Uno, but after catching Donghyuck cheating you both had decided to just chill. Well, at least until now. “Donghyuck!” Shouted his mom near the pool. You both stopped your play fight to look at her. “I’ve brought you both some food, and the towels are beside the table, okay? It gets cold at night so don’t stay in the pool for too long!” You smiled at her, thankful for the caring gesture, and Donghyuck replied with a “Yes, mom” before swimming away. His mom shook her head with a fond smile and went back inside, while you sat on the border of the pool, looking at your best friend. He was swimming backwards with his eyes closed, making you smile at his peaceful look. “Hyuckie, I’m kinda cold. Are you gonna get out too or are you going to continue your mermaid moment?” you asked him, cheekily. He stuck his tongue at you but smiled nonetheless and got out of the pool with you, shaking his hair like a dog, making you squeal and run away with a laugh. He cackled at that and handed you a towel. The night had arrived quickly, time passing fast when you both spent time together. You both were layin down on the grass, looking at the starry sky. Stargazing was one of your favorite hobbies, and sharing it with Donghyuck, your favorite person, made you feel content with life, lost in the calming moment. Donghyuck wasn’t really calm, though – he couldn’t stop thinking about you, your bright eyes, your cold but soothing hands, your beautiful body (that thought had him all flustered, but can you blame him, he’s a teenager) but, most importantly, your lips. Donghyuck had found himself looking at them more than once, and he couldn’t but wonder how they might feel against his. He didn’t realize, but he was staring at you now. You turned your head to look at him, feeling his stare. You bumped noses and that woke the boy up from his haze, making you both blush. You cleared your throat and looked at the sky again, shy. You spent the next couple of minutes in heavy silence, both your hearts pounding with nervousness, until you saw a shooting star that made you gasp. “Hyuck, a falling star!” “O-oh,” Donghyuck blinked, still somewhat flustered. “make a wish!” You looked at him timidly, “you already know, Hyuck” you murmured, lowly. “I want to be with you, always.” - Senior year arrived quickly, and you were too stressed to go out with Donghyuck anymore. It had happened gradually; you had started hanging out once a week, then once a month, and now you only saw Donghyuck in class or on your way home. Nothing had really happened between you two – you just didn’t have much time and the little you had left, you were too tired. Sometimes you both hung out at your house, but that was not frequent anymore. Donghyuck didn’t mind, he understood you had to study (and he had too, he just was more laid-back about it) and he was fine with seeing you at school. He had no problem with it. Until Na Jaemin happened. He had been talking to you ever since the year had started. It’s not that you having friends bothered Donghyuck, but Jaemin had started to become closer to you as months passed. It was apparent in the way his arms had started to engulf you more frequently now, in the way he took your hand when you both walked in the hallway, in the way he kissed your cheek goodbye. Donghyuck’s heart ached every time he saw the display of affection between you two, but he kept his mouth shut. They’re just friends, he told himself, we do that too, and we are just friends. But that was the problem, he felt more than friendship appreciation for you – and he suspected Jaemin felt more than that, too. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to imagine you kissing Jaemin, he didn’t want to even think of the possibility of it. You had stopped going home with Donghyuck. It hurt him at first, but he couldn’t stop the thoughts in his mind that told him Jaemin was the reason. He wanted to believe you had club activities, or that maybe your mom had started picking you up. But he saw you get out of the building once, your hands intertwined with Jaemin’s and laughing about something he had told you. The pressure around his heart became a bit more overwhelming after that. He had tried to ask you to hang out, his insides begging desperately for contact, holding onto your voice like it was the last time he was going to hear it. You had turned him down, though, mumbling about your plans with Jaemin. He had snapped then, letting part of his pain out in the form of anger, frustrated with the fact that your friendship felt like it was slipping between his fingers. That was the first time you both had fought. You had had small fights before, but they were small and only lasted for a couple of hours max. But this one felt as if it had formed an abyss between you two, and for the first time in his life, Donghyuck was afraid. He was completely, utterly afraid of losing you. A few weeks had passed without you two exchanging not even a word. The pressure in Donghyuck’s chest was almost unbearable. It was suffocating him, the sadness clogging his lungs and making him gasp for air. He felt as if he had a void in his chest, as if some creature had settled down in his heart and had started chewing it, crushing it. He felt as if he had lost himself. Truthfully, a part of him lived with you, and feeling you slip away, he didn’t feel like himself anymore. He had grown up with you, you had been his first love, you had been always present in his life; you both had gone through thick and thin together. He really thought you two would be together forever like you had wished many times before. But now, with your heart no longer beside his, he started to believe it never was. His thoughts were getting too overwhelming and he wanted nothing more than to scream, but he opted for going on a walk instead. He found himself walking to the familiar park you both had shared so many moments in. He took a deep breath, looking around and reliving the memories. This wasn’t really healthy as he was, precisely, trying to get away from his thoughts of you. But he couldn’t help himself. Even if you both had fought it didn’t change the fact that he was in love with you or that you were still his best friend. He really wanted to believe you still were. He was about to turn back and head home when he saw something that made him freeze. You were in the park too, but you weren’t alone. Jaemin was there with you, holding your face delicately with his hands. A voice inside Donghyuck’s mind screamed at him to run, to go away, that he didn’t need to witness that. But his legs couldn’t move, and when he realized, it was too late. You were kissing Jaemin, and Donghyuck felt his heart broke, shatter completely, the pieces piercing him from inside and making him whimper in pain. The day after the news had spread quickly; you and Jaemin were dating. Donghyuck already knew, though, so the rumors were nothing but another thorn piercing his chest. - You and Donghyuck had made up, and you returned to a somewhat normalcy – or that was what you believed, because Donghyuck’s chest hurt every time you merely looked at him. But you didn’t need to know that. In the last month, Donghyuck had been through it all: anger, sadness, heartbreak and finally, something close to acceptance. In reality, he was still going through heartbreak, but he acted as if nothing happened for the sake of keeping your friendship alive. Inside, he felt as if he was going mad, a turbulent storm raging in his damaged heart. - The loud music mixed with people talking pierced Donghyuck’s ears, making him grimace, his eyes furrowed looking at nothing in particular. Mark had insisted on him coming to prom, assuring him he needed the fun and that it would help him. He scoffed when the taller boy had told him, but he ended up going anyway after you had asked him in the request of Mark. He felt pathetic going alone but he couldn’t say no to you. A nudge in his ribs made him snap out of his train of thought, glaring at Mark. He shrugged, sipping his probably spiked punch innocently. Donghyuck was about to ask him what he wanted, annoyed when Mark signaled him to look at someone with his head. He followed the direction and found you quite a few meters away, alone. You looked like you wanted to cry, and Donghyuck remembered how much you hated crowded places. He bit his lip, worried. He knew you had fought with Jaemin thanks to how fast things spread at school, but he didn’t think the boy would stood you up. A thought crossed his mind, telling himself that you were fine, you didn’t need him. But part of him wanted to go and hug you. His brain told him selfishly that maybe this was his opportunity to get you back. He was still hesitant, though, but you locked eyes with him. Mark gave him a final nudge and he started to walk towards you, decided. But you looked behind him quickly, and Jaemin passed by his side, going rapidly to hug you, apologizing for being late and telling you something about not abandoning you. Donghyuck couldn’t hear well with the music, and frankly he didn’t want to, anyway. He turned towards the exit, settled on leaving, the feeling of numbness starting to engulf him. You no longer needed him, he realized, and with that, he finally accepted his heart would never be able to love again.

[hangonimevolving]

Week 12-ish at home

Hello all!  Here in Florida, many aspects of quarantine life are purportedly starting to change “out there,” in the world.  In-house restaurant dining, salons, and misc businesses opened up a few weeks ago.  And this week, on June 1st, even more businesses began normal operations - children’s day cares, for example.  The beaches have opened.  Public parks are open, although there are restrictions on playground equipment, etc.  Most businesses have certain rules and restrictions in place, e.g. social distancing and mask usage.  But yep, they’re open.

However, our family is NOT :)  We have decided to act like nothing’s changed, at least for now - we would like to observe and see how things go “out there,” if the virus stays at a plateau in terms of numbers infected, etc., or if there is an upsurge.  If there is an upsurge, we are concerned with seeing how severe or widespread it might get.  In short - its too early for us.  We have too many factors to consider in terms of immune issues, family members with multiple risk factors, etc.  So, we continue on, living and learning within our own family unit.  And thankfully for us - this is not a huge deal.  Sure, we have our moments where we wish we could do regular things, like go hang around at a mall or a movie theater, or go visit a public playground.  Oh, how we miss eating out.  We REALLY miss seeing friends and having playdates - that part is hard.  But - its okay.  It won’t be forever.

So what are we doing these days?

I made air plant terrarium globes, and hung them around our breakfast area:

Vev participated in the virtual science fair through school, with his experiment on liquids, viscosity, and cohesion.  We tested out water, soda water, and oil.  I think he learned a good amount in the process!

We were excited when the U.S. Navy Blue Angels did a flyover in the South Florida region - and we got a killer view of the fighter jets as they zoomed over our backyard!!!

(Okay, I realize this picture isn’t that impressive - the Blue Angels are those series of dots on the blue part of the sky, surrounded by clouds.  But trust me, watching them tear across the sky in that formation was awesome).

There’s been more pancake art...

We attended a really touching event a few weeks back - a five-year-old boy in our community is undergoing treatment for a terminal brain tumor.  The entire community banded together, and threw him a socially-distanced celebration: a birthday parade comprised of fully-restored vintage cars and fancy, souped up muscle cars and vehicles.  It was an awesome, meaningful, and poignant event.

On April 30th, I finally faced the reality that quarantine snacking was getting the better of me.  I knew I had to make a change.  So I went keto on May 1st, and kept it up for 30 days.  It was honestly super hard.  But I pulled through.  There was a lot of eating like this.....

ramen soup with shirataki noodles

and.... basically just a ton of omelets.

I need to write an entire post - more like, a continuing series of posts - about how IN LOVE I am with my new Cricut Maker.  I am OBSESSED with this marvelous contraption, and have thoroughly been enjoying my time with it while at home.  I have made a couple of things thus far, and I can’t wait to show them to you.  But by way of a teaser - here are some koala and panda-themed sleep masks I made for the kids....

And here is a little bandana bib I made for Pixel, who actually seemed to enjoy wearing it!

Pixel acquired a new perch in our home.  For some reason, out of all the myriad cat beds we have bought her (memory foam, regular foam, fuzzy plush material, microfiber, etc.), her preferred toys and beds are all the ones made of corrugated cardboard. I have never quite understood why she’s so crazy about it - it looks, to my meager human eye, like a hard, cheap, NOT warm and fuzzy place to hang out.  But, she’s crazy about it.  So, I recently bought her this.

Based on the fact that she’s hardly moved from this spot in a month, except to eat 11 billion times a day - I’d say I have gotten my $12 worth already.

On the topics of cats, and crafting - my good friend Y had been telling me about her kitty and how he’s become the “loyal coworker,” since she and her family are all telecommuting these days for their jobs.  Apparently, Shams the cat perches on her cardiologist father’s desk, and oversees his daily rounds using telemedicine apps to check on his patients.  I decided to make Shams an appropriate coworker type outfit.  And again, yet another cat has surprised us by happily wearing the ridiculous outfits we humans are making for them!

What a handsome gentleman :)

What else.... ah, so Mother’s Day came along, with its customary breakfast in bed for yours truly, delivered by some other handsome gentlemen I know.

Dr. Spouse elected to disregard my keto diet, and prepare me a tasty meal of refined carbs - which I hungrily guzzled in appreciation.

Last but not least, for this post anyway - I ran my first “virtual race,” which is this deal where you pay a registration fee and are sent a race bib, shirt, and medal, but its sort of an honor system where you run the race/distance and then post to social media if you wish.  I ran a race called the “Crush Corona 5K”.  The experience of virtual racing was great.  My actual run on that day was surprisingly rough!  I left my house way later than my ordinary running time, and it was an extraordinarily hot day... I totally overheated, and between being carb-starved on the keto diet and also seriously premenstrual (sorry, TMI) - I was really glad when the run was done.  Oh well!  The proceeds of my race benefitted a good cause - a fund for healthcare and essential workers who have been on the front lines of the Coronavirus pandemic.  And bigger picture, I dedicated my race to my “Run Buchandi Run” race series which has been raising funds for the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research.  I also ran in memory of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, and the missions of the #blacklivesmatter movement to end systemic racism generally, and police brutality against African Americans specifically.  

Multiple missions and causes, same heart.  They all overlap after all - we are all connected humans, and despite this, minorities in this country are not appreciated for being essential to our society, are also at higher risk of most health conditions, and have to live in fear of unjust targeting by law enforcement and other systems.  I believe it’s possible for us to make our personal efforts in the service of building awareness of this entire network of issues.  My heart - and my legs! - worked in service of this.

[luna-lime]

The deal that's "13 reasons why" part II

I'm back, yet with a another 13rw post, one of the many on this site for the last week. It's still a BOOM and tomorrow it will be a week since 13 reasons why season 3 dropped. And I've been meaning to talk about some more things that I have on my heart about this show. I was not making notes ( which now I really regret ), but I am sure I can squeez some of my feelings out here. Still I AM PUTTING A SPOILER WARNING HERE! Many of you already saw the show, but still if you didn't, be warned and maybe come back after you've finished. With that said, let's just jump to the other topic that has been on my mind since the first episode basically.

Ani Achola. Seems like she is the main conflict in this season. And I can see why. Let me get this one thing straight: I don't like Ani as a character, but I fully respect the actress Grace Saif who made an incredible job of portraying Ani. But about that later.

So my initial thought was: "Who is this girl and why is SHE narrating the show now?" Writers and producers of the show should have known better than this. There is plenty of choices to put into that position, so why putting there a totally insignificant character? Maybe that wouldn't be the problem in the end, but oh boy her personality. I didn't really catch for how long Ani was around, but if my sources are correct, she came to Liberty high somewhat closely after the Spring dance. So basically not for long huh? And the fact she was put right to Bryce, is also a bad writing in my mind. Of course she would be living close/be close with the dead person. First we had Clay/Hannah, now we have Ani/Bryce. This girl is just a straight up liar and no one should believe her one bit. Isn't she suspicious? Boys... I sure would not confide with my most secret secrets to someone who I barely know. So how could she know that much of details? She basically knew everyone's side of the story, reason why they might have hurt Bryce, etc... WHAT? 13 RW writers what? You want to tell me, that those damaged kids who FINALLY put it somehow together, to create some of a inner-circle would just, let someone new and random in? Just like that? Because Clay gave her a tour? Doesn't make sense. Trying to justify Bryce's actions? Excuse me, step aside milady. "Have you heard about Hannah Baker?" "You hear summ?" ... But what made me, probably the most mad about this smart pants was when she was telling the police officer about Clay. I will be honest, Clay isn't a great character, none of them are supposed to be great characters. But making my boy Clay an obsessed stalker? ... EXUSE ME? She doesn't know about Hannah and Clay's relationship, yet here she is telling the police that he was obsessed with the dead girl? AND THEY ACTUALLY USE THIS AGAINS HIM? ARE YOU INSANE? I am sure this is not how police works in America. Or nowhere in the world actually. Ani then just comes to Clay, like nothing happened, they've been good friends, she was helping him with cosplay ( the only party which made me feel at least a little bit good about Ani ), going out with him, making a group project. Sweetheart, if he'd be so obsessed with you as you said he was, would you still hang out with him that much? I don't think so KAREN. A lot of her statements didn't make sense. The details in her statement didn't make sense? How on the earth she knew so much? Everything basically. The inner-circle doesn't know about each person's secrets, why Ani does? Just doesn't make sense in my eyes, at all.

And the whole Bryce situation? You acted and seemed like a bright girl, wasn't she written like that? Obviously she wasn't so bright when she slept with an ALEGGED rapist. For a normal person that's just disgusting, to let a rapist touch you. She knew, Bryce raped Jessica and she considered Jessica a friend. So why would she? I know, some of you might say that it had nothing to do with Jessica, since it was her personal thing but... She joined Jessica's group, so basically she was fighting for something Bryce started? THE BRYCE she slept with numerous times, THE BRYCE who told her "Ani, I need you." ... At least she was right at one thing, that was really the worst thing she has done in her life. I'd change the line to "One of the worst things in my life I've done" but I don't write the rules here, now do I? This wasn't the only thing honey, you basically lied. You knew Alex and Jessica killed Bryce, but you told the police it was Monty. I mean okay... let the dead bury the dead, but like... ?? Isn't this just a evidence to the police, that she is a huge liar? She lied for the first time, she admitted it ( I think to her mother too ) and yet she did it again. I know, she wanted keep Alex and Jessica safe, which I appreciate a lot, but that still doesn't change my opinion about her being a liar.

As her mother said "Don't get involved with these people's things." All you had to do Ani was just to listen to your mom, ONCE in a goddamn lifetime. But you didn't. This is a fin I think, because there is nothing more I could say to this.

I still don't understand how she acquired so much knowledge about the whole situation, sometimes just writing goes off hand I guess. My idea of a different narrator is still true and I'd change her for anyone from the original characters. I'd been a great change to see Clay narrate the story this time, since Hannah is gone and Clay is still considered to be the main character of them all, so I still don't understand this choice of the producers and writers. Anyways... I guess I won't ever change it, so there is no point for me to theorize about who would have been better. Everyone and anyone, basically.

And on the last note, as I mentioned earlier, I don't like Ani as a character but fully respect the actress. I am sure the writers nor the actress knew that the Ani character won't be too popular among the fadom. I mean... who would have thought RIGHT? I just want to say, that the actress doesn't deserve hate, because she ISN'T ANI ACHOLA. Just as Justin ISN'T BRYCE WALKER. SO ISN'T Timothy MONTY. I've recently read that Grace deleted all of her social media due to hate she was getting. Please people, don't be dicks. They are out here, making an amazing show to entertain us, yet you give them shit. Stop, okay? Respect the actors and respect the writers, no matter how bad it can sometimes be. I hope Grace will get better soon and come back.

For the total end: If you are suffering or feeling hurt, please don't be afraid to tell someone. Confide in your mother, father, sister, brother, friends or school staff. For more, please visit 13reasonswhy.info . You life is precious, not just to you, but everyone around you.

[putschki1969]

Livedoor News Interview ~ Translation

Original article: http://news.livedoor.com/article/detail/15354813/

Note: Here’s my English translation of Wakana’s long interview with Livedoor News. Enjoy! Once again she is being super honest and carefree. This interview addresses a lot of the same topics that were already mentioned in the SPICE talk but still, there is a lot of fun and interesting stuff to be found here. As always keep in mind that my Japanese is by no means perfect, take everything with a grain of salt. If you share my translation (or parts of it) LINK TO THIS POST and CREDIT me!

For each and every one of us there are new places to discover, new steps to take... In advance of her upcoming solo tour, Wakana reveals her thoughts

Wakana who has been well-loved for many years as member of Kalafina will hold her first solo tour 『Wakana Live Tour 2018～Toki wo Koete～』 starting on September 24. For our shoot she wore her private clothes, a very feminine outfit, she faced the camera smiling, “truth is, it’s been 10 years since I have had a proper simile on my face for a photoshoot!” On stage she is known for her beautifully resounding and overwhelming singing voice but her character is actually very cheerful and friendly. Throughout the interview she made all the staff members laugh with her funny facial expressions while she was talking energetically. 

I was worried about doing a solo tour…but I felt relieved by hearing the fans’ opinions

―― You are taking up the challenge of your first live tour which will span four cities all across the country (Tokyo, Fukuoka, Nagoya, Osaka). How did you feel when the tour was first decided?

I was very happy to be able to continue singing and I was looking forward to meeting lots of people again.

―― Please tell us about the background of this tour! Was it your wish to do this tour or was it your way of complying to the wishes and demands of the fans?

This wasn’t as much about what the fans wanted, it was first and foremost about myself, about my desire to sing. By chance I got offered the opportunity to do a live tour and I thought, “as long as I get to sing I am definitely up for it!” On the other hand I was also feeling anxious because I didn’t know how the fans would react. But there were so many nice and gentle people who were very happy to find out about it. I felt truly relieved hearing those voices.

―― Fukuoka is your hometown. This will be your very first triumphal return live all by yourself and not as part of Kalafina, right? Will your family and friends come to see you?

My close family lives in the Kanto area but lots of my other relatives and friends are planning to come, I hope they are looking forward to the concert.

―― Does it feel special to perform in your hometown as part of your tour?

I can’t help but being biased *laughs*. Once I started to live in Tokyo, I realised how much my hometown meant to me, I really started to appreciate it more. This feeling is strengthened even more because I get to do work like that and come back every once in a while to sing my music. I hope to convey my gratitude with my singing.  

―― You mean you want to repay all the favours to the place that made you the person that you are?

Yes. It is the place where I decided I wanted to become a singer. Fukuoka with all its beautiful mountains and the sea awakened this wish of singing within my heart. I am very happy about that.

―― Is there a particular place you always visit when you return to Fukuoka?

“Daichi no Udon”! *laughs* I always eat their burdock tempura udon. With wakame. And an egg.

―― That’s very specific *laughs*

I always stay somewhere near a restaurant so there’s no need to ask for the way *laughs* Anyways, whenever I go back home I am more into udon than ramen.

One day I suddenly noticed that I hadn’t sung for quite some time

―― On August 11 when you held your 『Kalafina “Wakana”・Ryu Masaki Symphony Concert with the Roma Italia Orchestra』 you mentioned that you hadn’t taken such a long break from singing in the past ten years.

It took a while to get my engine starting again, it wasn’t until the setlist had been decided that I finally started to sing again, until then I had taken a complete break from singing in my daily life. There was Kalafina’s 10th Anniversary Live in January and then I got to take part in two events in March but after that I didn’t have any chance to sing so I just ended up not singing for five months. In my ten years as part of Kalafina we were doing lives almost every month but these days such opportunities don’t arise very often. Once I had detached myself from singing, I started to focus on other things. I just did what I felt like doing and I listened to all the music that I didn’t get the chance to listen to before.

―― What was it that you felt like doing?

I bought a camera. Until then I had been taking pictures with my phone but owning your own camera is much more exciting. This way I am now able to properly immortalise all the moments in my life that are special to me. I feel like if you improve on certain things in life people will use their time in a better and much more efficient way. Up until recently it was always like, “there is so much I would like to do but I don’t have time so I will just do it some time in the future” and now that I have time it’s like, “I am doing this. Oh, let’s also do that. Or I will just do it tomorrow since I have time to spare”. I have also been really obsessed with my house.

―― Have you become a fan of interior design?

Yes! I really love plants! My green family continues to grow. My plan to make my house into a forest is steadily progressing *laughs* I had been into this kind of thing before but now I really got the chance to become deeply absorbed in it.

―― You just mentioned that you started using your own camera. Recently you have been uploading lots of sky pictures to your blog, were these taken with your new camera?

That’s right. Ever since I bought it back in July. I am also carrying it with me today. I just really love the sky so I can’t help but take lots of pictures of it.

―― What exactly made you decide to buy this particular camera?

Eh? I guess you could call it a spur of the moment thing? *laughs* The actress in the camera commercial was so cute, I immediately fell in love, “ahh, so cute! I want it! I am gonna buy it now!” So that’s the reason behind my purchase *laughs*

―― And the timing was perfect, right?

I have always had this dream of taking my own pictures and creating a special photo album for fan club members. For this tour I actually used my pictures for some of the merchandise so my dream is steadily coming true.

―― What did you make?

I created a t-shirt with one of my sky pictures printed on the front. While I was doing all these things I always wanted to do many of my dreams started unfolding. I thought it would be nice to realise some of them while I was taking a break from singing. You see, ít wasn’t really my intention to take a break from singing. But then I thought, “it’s been such a long time, I want to meet up with as many people as possible.” So I contacted everyone, all these people that I had made promises to but I was never able to meet and all my close friends that I try to see on a regular basis…and that’s how I ended up having loads of fun each and every day *laughs* It was so much fun that I actually wondered ,”can I spend the rest of my life just meeting up with people every day?” *laughs* And then at some point I suddenly realised, “eh? Now that you mention it, I really haven’t been singing at all for the longest time…”

For myself and my own life I should seek out all the things I love

―― When your solo live tour was announced you commented, “I have searched for various ways to sing my music. I have now found my way.” I wonder, what is “your way”?

Ah! *wry smile* That article was written after my short press conference. Prior to that I was informed that we would announce the tour that day so I was told to say this and that about the tour. Then when one of the reporters asked me, “have you found your way?” I thought this would be the perfect timing to say this and that *laughs* So I replied jokingly, “yes, I have found my way. Can you guess what it is?” Somehow a big deal was made out of this particular remark.

―― So that’s how it was…*laughs*

I think I will just continue to search for the things that I want to do., I feel like there are no limits to what I can do among this wide range of music. I thought I should continue searching for music I would be able to sing. But not just music, I should also seek out all the things that I love just for myself and my own life.

―― If you were to decide on a particular genre, you would just limit yourself, right?

Exactly. It would be a shame. But of course I also really love the music that I have done up till now as part of Kalafina with the other two members; because my love for that music is so strong I wanna continue conveying the happiness I feel when singing those songs. On top of that I have realised one thing in these past ten years, I should be exploring more personal aspects when it comes to music.

――So first and foremost it’s all about wanting to convey your songs in all kinds of ways?

Yes. I want to sing as much as possible.

Each person interprets lyrics differently. It’s what I felt when I wrote my first lyrics

―― What’s behind your tour title “Toki wo Koete /Transcending Time”?

It’s about me taking a new step, a step that’s “transcending time” and going beyond the past 10 years. During my concert in August the final song I performed was called “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni”, I wrote the lyrics to this song, it was my first time ever writing lyrics so that’s also part of my reasoning for naming my tour like that. Time continues to pass by, all the things I have acquired in the past, all the things I will gain in the future, I want to feel and experience them one by one and I want the audience to feel them too, that’s why I thought the title was fitting.

―― How was it to write the lyrics for “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni”?

I am still learning. It was my first time so I didn’t really know what I was doing. To think that in junior high school everyone was calling me a “poet” *laughs*. My friends and I would always exchange letters during class, we could never wait until the next break. Despite what it may have looked like, I was actually writing poems, it’s quite embarrassing to be honest *laughs*. My friends from that time still call me that.

―― So among your friends you are just known as “Wakana The Poet”? *laughs*

That’s right. Even back in elementary school it was like that, for example, one day there was heavy snowfall and my friends and I thought it was absolutely fascinating so I suggested. “hey, let’s all come up with a haiku while looking at the snow!!” It would be fun after all *laughs* It was so enthralling, I wanted everyone to think hard about it.

―― Did you make people laugh with your poem?

I came up with a super serious poem and everyone seemed to like it *laughs* So yeah, ever since then that image has stuck with me.

―― Did you write your lyrics while thinking back on that time?

It was completely different back then *laughs* The song had already been written so it was really hard to find lyrics that would fit.

―― Writing lyrics in accordance with musical notes is very hard it seems.

It is. I had no idea how to do it so I ended up having to teach myself. There is no such thing as a perfect result, I am still far from being happy with the final result. I have a lot to learn and there are so many parts within myself that I would like to change.

―― Were you influenced by Kajiura Yuki’s lyrics?

I didn’t even get the chance to be influenced by her lyrics. I simply didn’t have enough space to work with, “I can only fit two words into this part!” Some words of my favourite novelists were spinning around in my head so I let myself be inspired by that, I tried my very best and thought hard on it but then…I realised I just didn’t have the necessary vocabulary…

―― Speaking of which, whose works are you reading frequently?

I REALLY love Miyuki Miyabe and Keigo Higashino too much. I really like historical fantasies and psycho thrillers. And when I feel like reading some hardboiled fiction, I will read something by Go Osaka, his “Mozu” works in particular. I am really into the antihero-type police officers *laughs*

―― You could try incorporating the world views of these novels into your lyrics?

I have tried reading about three books for reference this time around but it didn’t help at all. The novels were really intriguing though! *laughs*

―― *laughs* So I am guessing these lyrics are your honest feelings. What kind of feelings did you put into this song?

I had a pretty clear vision of what I wanted to say but everyone has their own interpretation. People tend to see things their own way and I have realised that the songs I have listened to in the past might not have the meaning that I thought they would have had. Kajiura-san has shared some of her thoughts regarding the songs we have been singing for ten years but she has never been very precise. She always told us that everyone was free to think whatever they wanted.

―― So is it okay to sing the songs from a singer’s perspective with your own interpretation?

Of course as singers we have different perspectives too, we are listeners after all. Sometimes Kajiura-san would tell me, “truth is, I actually wrote it with this and that in mind” and then I was all like, “eh, THIS is supposed to be a love song!? I wouldn’t have guessed!” The next time I would always try to sing the song keeping Kajiura-san’s thoughts in mind. That’s why I think it’s best not to provide a proper answer for the meaning behind “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni”. Whatever you feel while listening to it, it’s totally fine.

Kajiura-san’s music has its own life so I want to convey that

―― I think for this tour you were quite worried to sing Kalafina songs all by yourself?

Of course. I worried a lot about how everyone would feel about it. Back in August when I walked up on stage I felt like I was hearing all these voices from the audience, I was imagining all the questions from fans like, “why are you up there alone? Why is she singing these songs by herself?” It was my first time standing on stage all by myself in front of so many people. That’s probably why I felt this way. Thankfully though, I received a warm applause and I gladly accepted it.

――If you are singing songs that were made for three people all by yourself, I am sure some of the arrangements must have been changed?

Yes. As Kalafina the three of us would often sing at the same time in order to create harmony. That’s what Kajiura-san had in mind when Kalafina was first formed. We would each sing the main melody so I need to cover all three main parts, it feels like I am singing non-stop. It is difficult but I think I have figured out a way to do it so the songs sound fluid for the listener.

―― So you are also singing Keiko’s and Hikaru’s parts?

Yes, that’s what I did for my concert in August. I wanted to do the songs proper justice so I also had a supporting chorus consisting of four people. It has made me realise that Yuki Kajiura’s music brings great joy to the singer no matter which melody you are singing. And I have never sung all melodies before so it was a lot of fun. However, we have been saying this again and again, “Kalafina’s unique chorus work only exists because the three of us are singing together” and I believe that to be true. It’s something that’s ingrained within myself due to working together for the past ten years. And because it is such an integral part of me I would like to continue singing this music even if I am doing it all by myself.

―― Perhaps by singing Kalafina’s songs alone you will discover new things?

I have not yet reached that stage but yes, I might discover something in the future. For each and every one of us there are new places to discover, new steps to take, that’s just part of life. Right now I guess I am taking this route. We are each walking on separate routes and we are walking with determination. All I am thinking about is to face forward. I have received lots of messages from fans saying, “I don’t think I can follow a one-person-Kalafina”. I would like to write a letter to all of those people, telling them it’s fine *laughs*. It takes courage to say that, I respect that. But Kajiura-san’s music has its own life. It is such wonderful music so I just want to continue singing it.

I would like to take on a new challenge by just being myself, completely natural

―― The visuals for your tour seem very natural?

Kalafina’s lives were always connected to our albums or we would wear the outfits of our newest song or the production would be influenced by one of our anime tie ins. But this time around it was all about “myself”. I made sure to incorporate things that I like and while I was consulting with all kinds of people asking them what kind of stuff would be nice for my tour I slowly came up with a concept.

―― Your outfit today is lovely.

Thank you so much! I tried my very best choosing a nice outfit *laughs* I am wearing a white lace dress on the promotional flyer. So I thought for today I would wear something similar. As part of Kalafina I didn’t really do many photoshoots where I was able to wear this kind of floral pattern so I thought it was a good idea. Flashy colours are also welcome! *laughs*

―― I guess this is also a new challenge?

Yes but I am embracing this challenge! The visuals for this tour are very soft. For the first time ever in a photoshoot I was told it’s okay to laugh, “don’t you wanna try smiling a bit?”

――So smiling during your photoshoot was a new and fresh experience?

Yes, it was. It felt very natural and I thought it would be okay to smile. The fans may be surprised though. If you look at the pictures long enough some people might be able to recognise it. Gradually it will make sense. “eh, what’s that? It’s so different, I can’t tell…oh! *shock* Is that? Is that…a SMILE???!!!”  It might be like that for some people. *laughs* But being “natural”, being “true to myself” is very important to me. Of course there have been all kinds of pictures in the past, they were conveying a cool image for sure but in none of them I was able to be myself.

―― Even during our Kalafina interviews I always got the impression that you smiled a lot *laughs*

Indeed! I have been laughing a lot ever since my days in elementary school when I was suggesting haikus and other stuff. And I really want to make people smile as well *laughs* When I meet my friends after having not been able to see them for a long time we always end up talking about these childhood stories, we will laugh so much that we start crying. That’s a lot of fun, right? Even though 20 years have passed it is still a lot of fun. That makes me very happy.

―― Would you like to include lots of fun stuff in your MCs as well?

If it’s possible then I would definitely like to try it *laughs* But I don’t think I can. If I am talking to someone it’s fine. For example, I am confident that I can have a very funny conversation with my taxi driver *laughs* But MCs aren’t conversations, it’s pretty much a one-way street and there is always this time lag where you wait for a reaction. This time around I will try to do normal and proper MCs, after all I don’t want to scare off people who are coming to see me for the first time. There might be some people who don’t know about Kalafina so I want to do a live that makes sense for them as well. That’s what I want to do. I don’t want any member of my audience to feel left out or lonely.

―― So you want every time to feel like it is the first time?  

Yes, I would like that. Not just while performing, in my daily life as well, when I am meeting people, when I am talking to people. I think that’s very important. You are destined to meet the people in your life. I want to meet them with a smile on my face and I want to say goodbye with a smile, I think that makes life so much better.

[paulisweeabootrash]

Series Review: Read or Die (R.O.D. the OVA)

Welcome to another episode of Paul is Weeaboo Trash! Today’s topic is a show I’ve previously seen one episode of, so long ago that I’m almost going in fresh: the OVA (what we in the US would call a “direct to video release”) of Read or Die (2001–2002)! I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where education and fun were not portrayed as opposites, and we had the means to find plenty of fun educational things to do.  My parents searched for all kinds of potentially interesting activities, and living in southern New Hampshire, the Boston area was not prohibitively far to go for them.  And so I was signed up for Splash, a program one weekend per fall in which MIT students teach middle- and high-school-age kids seminars on a wide variety of topics.

What counted as topics worthy of education was quite broad, however.  I ended up in a "class" that consisted of watching one episode each of several anime that the student running the class was a fan of.  This was back in the days where anime fandom spread person-to-person by recommendations and there was more emphasis on developing a background knowledge of "classics" among the more informed and/or snootier fans.  (I still feel this way a bit because certain tropes and references are so common or influential that being familiar with the original sources can make newer shows suddenly make a lot more sense, but I disapprove of the gatekeeper tendency to look down on people who don't yet know the things "everyone knows".)

I don't remember how many shows we sampled there, but the two that made an impact were Hellsing, which in retrospect was at best questionable for the age of the audience, and was very much not my thing because I have a low tolerance for gore, and the topic of this post, Read or Die, which was very much the kind of thing I wanted to see: a nerd being a badass in a fantastical way.  Especially since I was also really into James Bond at the time, so I was probably primed to eat up other media involving a British spy fighting a mysterious secret organization.  Since I'm incredibly averse to media piracy and had no clue where to buy anime, though, I never followed up to finish watching it, and eventually it faded from my mind.  Until I stumbled across the first volume of the manga for super-cheap at Saboten Con last year, and it flicked some nostalgia switch that reminded me how much I'd enjoyed it at the time, although I barely remember any actual details, so I am practically going in fresh here.

Read or Die follows Yomiko Readman, a teacher, obsessive book collector and reader, and superpowered secret agent who can manipulate paper in nearly any way.  Any paper available, from money to ribbons to a briefcase full of blank looseleaf she apparently just brings with her.  She uses this power in the course of her service as a secret agent, codename The Paper, working for the British Library?!  Along with Miss Deep, who can selectively phase shift, and Drake Anderson, a gruff and dismissive military type (and apparently potter in his cover job), she is assigned to a plan to save the world in a way that vaguely involves collecting books.  Saved from whom?  The I-jin, clones of historical geniuses with superpowers related to their areas of expertise, such as... knowing stuff about insects, or... uh... spreading Buddhism to Japan... who are going to flashy and violent lengths to steal books the British Library is trying to acquire legitimately.  Trust me, it eventually gets explained, and the Big Reveal, although pretty goddamn weird, fits in with the rest of what has been established.  Suspend your disbelief enough to accept the I-jin at all, and it’s fine, although still a bit ludicrous.

And I submit that all that is still less weird and ridiculous than your typical superhero or spy movie, and this show does after all have elements of both genres in one.  Or, well, more and more superhero and military action as it goes on.  Although the theme music uses 60s guitar sounds, chromatic chord changes, and blaring brass hits that are virtually guaranteed to evoke the James Bond theme, and our main cast do work for a secret intelligence agency, they are in quite open military-style conflict with the I-jin -- with the approval of the UN -- and very little that’s actually covert occurs, with the notable exception of something I can’t spoil that happens at the end of ep. 2.  And because of the superpower angle, some of the instances of weirdness are not flaws at all but pretty creative implementations of the characters’ powers (using a paper airplane as a lethal weapon?!).

This last point didn’t really fit in organically, but I'd also like to mention a couple of things about the art that I love but don't see often.  The very first shot of the series uses multiple flat backgrounds at different distances moving in relation to each other to convey the camera moving across the scene, which I have seen in other animated works (at the moment, I can only think of examples from very old Disney movies off the top of my head), but not in recent ones.  I don't know whether it's simply out-of-fashion or this is a result of the shift to CGI so animators figure "why would we do this when we can actually render a city with realistic perspective?"  This show also has a particular kind of fluid motion in characters that I’ve seen in many reasonably-high-production-value shows from the 90s and 00s, but rarely in newer shows (Space Dandy being a notable exception).  Maybe I'm watching the wrong recent shows, maybe it's just a stylistic choice that's out of fashion, maybe it's harder to pull off convincingly when you're not animating by hand.

I’m glad I finally got to watch this.  It’s even better than I remember.  Now to get to work on the rest of the manga and the other series.  Oh yeah, haha.  The abbreviation "R.O.D." stands for both "Read or Die" and "Read or Dream", which are different parts of the same larger series.  The Read or Die manga (4 volumes), this OVA series, the Read or Dream manga (also 4 volumes), and a 26-episode TV series all take place in the same narrative universe, rather than the usual model of the anime being an adaptation/retelling of the manga.  There is also a light novel series I know nothing about, but it sounds from the Wikipedia article like that is the single ongoing series that is the source for the two manga and two anime.  (There is also apparently a barely-related future side story manga.)

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W/A/S: 1/3/3

Weeb: I don’t think there’s much, if anything, in here that would require explanation to a typical Western audience and which isn’t also explained in the dialogue.

Ass: There is a single implied nipple in the opening sequence.  Gasp!  And Miss Deep's costume design is pretty fanservicey, but only barely more explicitly so than you're likely to get in American media deemed suitable for older children.

Shit: Until the Big Reveal, it's just unclear why anyone involved other than Yomiko should be this interested in acquiring the specific books that serve as the show’s MacGuffin, nor is it clear that the I-jin’s plans extend further than searching for them in a very destructive way, leaving me baffled that the Library immediately makes the connection that the books are key to saving the world.  There are a few minor errors in the subtitles and a visual glitch (Blu Ray remaster, please?), and a couple of places where faces just... don’t... look right.  Oh, and if you’re watching the dubbed version, add another half point of Shit for Crispin Freeman’s British accent.

And for the first time I feel the need to add a CONTENT WARNING.  Usually, I think the review is sufficient to give you the idea whether there is anything likely to be disturbing in a show, but this is different, because the first two episodes have the sort of over-the-top stylized combat you might expect from other action anime or Western superhero media, where even a death comes off as un-shocking.  But in ep. 3 of this, there is a shocking pivot.  There are several short instances of graphic and sudden violence of kinds that are quite a bit more disturbing and distressing (even when they involve the use of powers) than anything that occurred previously.

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Stray Observations:

- Yes, those of you who know a little Japanese caught that joke: "Yomiko" could be loosely translated as "read girl".  Her name is "Read Girl Read Man".  Because she likes to read.  Get it?  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!

- In the manga, Yomiko is also established to be a literal bibliophile.  As in "books, regardless of content, turn her on".  I'm kind of glad this is not a plot point in the anime.

- The “secret” operation in the last episode, which is conducted with UN approval and involves an actual military attack with an actual goddamn naval fleet (and collaborating with North Korea to keep the US too distracted to notice it, even though this is a British operation against an organization that literally burned down the White House in the first scene of the first episode) might actually beat the first few episodes of Full Metal Panic! for “worst undercover operation ever”.

[projectalbum]

Radio songs. 189. “Green,” 190. “Out of Time,” 191. “Automatic for the People,” 192. “Monster,” 193. “New Adventures in Hi-Fi" by R.E.M.

For R.E.M., signing to Warner Bros Records meant reaching more people, in the U.S. and abroad. It meant a bigger promotional push behind their albums.

It meant an exponential increase in their touring schedule, to the point where all four were pretty burned out by the idea after being on the road for most of ’88-’89. But for me, it was a move that meant my favorite music in existence was allowed to sprout from the fertile loam of commercialism.

If you’ll remember from my previous post, it was a compilation of songs from the WB era that first made me a fan. And it was the first few albums under that banner that made R.E.M. superstars, i.e. a band established enough that I would be aware of them growing up. It’s hard for me to grasp the amount of R.E.M. saturation that existed from roughly ’88 - ’94. By the time I was humming “What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?” and “Orange Crush” in high school, it was 2005 and the band’s incandescence had faded to the soft, respectable glow of “Dad Rock.” They were hipper than the Billy Joel & Electric Light Orchestra discs that they had replaced in my repertoire, but as far as my peers were concerned, barely. 

The first Christmas after I had announced myself as a fan brought, in shiny happy gift wrapping, Green (#189) and Out Of Time (#190). A veritable Mandolin-apalooza: in the campfire folk trance of “You Are The Everything,” mournful character study “The Wrong Child,” and midnight hippie spiritual “Hairshirt” that are scattered through the mix of Green, and powering the über-hit that secured their legacy, “Losing My Religion,” on Out Of Time. My relationship to those tracks has dipped and risen through the years— I was much less open to strange acoustic explorations back then (or in the case of “LMR,” its overfamiliarity), so I tended to skip them. I grooved on the electric menace of “Turn You Inside-Out” and the poptimism of “Untitled.”

“World Leader Pretend,” in which all the band’s instruments, including Stipe’s voice, seemed tuned to a lower register than ever before (now THAT’S some counter-programming to the bubblegum of “Stand”), has become a God-level composition in my mind. It’s gained some resurgence recently, seen as a pointed critique of the venal and power-hungry who are obsessed with controlling geopolitical barriers. "I raised the wall / And I will be the one to knock it down,” the protagonist intones, and yeah, “the Wall” has a connotation for current events in 2018, as it did 30 years ago (roughly a year after the album’s release, Berlin’s concrete schism was demolished). But I hear the divided self in “World Leader Pretend”: the man erecting the walls of his own isolation chamber, shoring up his fragile ego against outer pain, denying the possibility for connection. "I decree a stalemate, I divine my deeper motives / I recognize the weapons / I've practiced them well, I fitted them myself.” In other words, I hear myself.

Fortunately, he concludes that it’s within his power to level these barriers he's constructed, and I feel I can learn the same lesson. There’s a triumphant slide guitar in the bridge, an iconically Country-Western flavor that the band returns to on one of the most indelible tracks on Out of Time— the descriptively-titled “Country Feedback.” Heartache on an epic scale, deliberate, hypnotic tempo but bubbling like a volcano, the words a stream-of-consciousness chant over Peter Buck’s searching electric guitar and Mike Mills funereal organ. “It’s crazy what you could have had,” Stipe laments, his voice rising, and then, “I need this. I need this.” Is it the confession that he needs, or the connection slipping away from his grasping fingers? He’s called it his favorite song in the band’s canon; they’ve performed it with Neil Young providing the wailing guitar counterpart, like a Dead Man end credits song that never happened, and there’s a clever mashup on the Unplugged set that bowled me over (I’ll mention it when I get there).

The acoustic arrangements and sonic experimentation continued on Automatic for the People (#191), with a purge of the bubblegum (“The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite” is a notable exception, but for a goof, it’s gorgeous.) Much has been made of the album’s apparent preoccupation with mortality and loss. For sure, there's the straight-forward teen suicide deterrent “Everybody Hurts,” predating It Gets Better by a couple decades; “Sweetness Follows,” about the steady, plodding journey through mourning, and the peaceful plateau you can reach; “Monty Got A Raw Deal,” a steely Western ballad inspired in part by the tortured, bisexual film actor Montgomery Clift. But it’s a hopeful album, not a dour slog.

To me, the common thread is The Past: that personal history that’s less about the agreed-upon facts and more about the feelings tied to events, coloring your reminiscence. “Drive,” the darkly insinuating opening track, takes inspiration for its rhythmic Beat poetry vocal from David Essex's “Rock On,” a song that Stipe might have heard as a teenager, one that itself looks back a further 20 years to the birth of rock n’roll. Add the string arrangement by rock royalty, John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin, and it’s nostalgia brined in nostalgia.

We’re looking at the reflection of the old photograph as caught by the passing streetlights: several layers of removal from the events. But in looking back, our feelings strike us clearer than whatever life we’ve built for ourselves in the interim; we’re still dwelling on whatever innocence we think we’ve lost. "I have seen things that you will never see / Leave it to memory me,” are the parting words of a person at the end of their life in “Try Not To Breathe” (often in the running for my favorite R.E.M. recording). "I will try not to burden you,” they promise, holding in secrets of a time gone by in hopes that the listener will forge a new path.

“Find The River,” which draws the book to a close with accordion and harmonizing voices, is another in a line of R.E.M. songs drawing on the river as a symbol of lost harmony. In youthful exuberance, there was “Nightswimming,” but "The ocean is the river's goal / A need to leave the water knows,” and time moves inexorably forward. The past feeds into the unfathomable depths of the future. Automatic for the People draws its title from the slogan at a soul food joint in the band’s hometown. It’s that sense of their own history, 8 records in and on top of the world, that merges with their innate creative restlessness, compelling them to shoot off in a new direction.  “I have got to leave to find my way."

This fuels their mission statement with each album since the WB era began: “Let’s write songs that don’t sound like ‘R.E.M. songs.’” If Automatic is self-reflective, Monster (#192) is about adopted personas. The sound of a middle-aged Art Rock band pretending to be a 20-something Glam Rock band, adding more neon and guitar distortion and posturing than you can shake a Mott The Hoople at. “What can I make myself be? (Faker!)” 

The video for “Crush With Eyeliner” furthers that sense of playful irony: the band members pushed off to the corner of the bar as a new generation, from a different cultural background, expresses the song for them. The entire radioactive orange LP kind of encapsulates every messy teenage feeling I've had since high school. I'm still a "faker," pretending to sing this song. And looking good doing it. (Though, full disclosure, the first time I did karaoke I went with “Bang and Blame.” I don’t mind telling you I nailed it.)

Monster is marked by the most prevalent sexual overtones in R.E.M. canon, as if they were embracing that self-aware Rock Star trope. It’s hard to get more on the nose than the title “Star 69,” but “I Don’t Sleep, I Dream” wins the prize with “Are you coming to ease my headache? / Do you give good head? / Am I good in bed?” As the public debated Michael Stipe’s sexuality, he parried the question in the press and played with his image in the lyrics. The topic of his “Crush” is gendered “she,” giving hetereos like myself plenty to appropriate for our own impossible Cool Girl daydreams— never mind that it’s an ode to his friend Courtney Love. “King of Comedy” addresses a legion of Rupert Pupkins getting their big shot by whatever means necessary, but it also contains the lyric "I'm straight, I'm queer, I'm bi,” a few years before he revealed publicly where the needle pointed on that dial for him. “Tongue” is a lilting, falsetto performance: piano-driven cabaret written for a female protagonist lamenting her inconsiderate lovers. More masks for a closely-scrutinized celebrity to find freedom behind.

New Adventures in Hi-Fi (#193) felt as appropriate a title as any for my first year at a university— trading my hometown for a cinderblock dorm-room, starting down my career path with all the film courses they’d allow me to sign up for. The road-grit guitars, open road expansive sound, Stipe’s tour-shredded front man vocals: the album is alternately weary and electrified. Choruses and riffs fit to fill a stadium (as many basic tracks were recorded at live soundcheck) beside intimate 3AM tour bus confessionals. I scored this huge chapter of my young life with the strutting, T. Rex glam of “The Wake-Up Bomb,” arena-ready choruses of “Bittersweet Me” and “So Fast, So Numb,” felt inspired by the dreamlike inscrutability of “How The West Was Won and Where It Got Us” and darkly-reflective poetry of “E-Bow The Letter.”

I’m not overly surprised to hear that this LP didn’t hit with the same impact as the previous ones— it’s always felt like an acquired taste that I couldn’t impart to anyone else. “You haven’t heard 'Leave?’ Ah man, it’s over 7 minutes long, and there’s a constant siren loop in the background! But trust me, when you hear the acoustic riff from the opening interlude reprised by double-tracked electric guitar, the goose pimples will be visible from space.”

Where Monster boasted the straight-arrow torch song “Strange Currencies,” the hushed, surrealistic “Be Mine” seemed as if it emanated from my own bruised heart. "I'll be the sky above the Ganges / I'll be the vast and stormy sea / I'll be the lights that guide you inward / I'll be the visions you will see”— it’s a cross-spiritual devotional that funnels the tenets of world religions into a promise for total intimacy. I would pay top dollar for the raw footage of Thom Yorke’s guest interpretation. 

Despite the public’s anemic response, the band’s estimation of Hi-Fi’s strengths is justifiably high. It’s an accomplished, energetic record that shows every member playing at his peak. It’s now frozen in history as the last document of the band as a foursome. In the next entry, I’ll delve into the CDs released after drummer Bill Berry retired and R.E.M. dramatically changed gears, rocketing into the 21st century.

[vamonumentlandscape]

Historic Jamestowne

In 1889 Mary Jeffery Galt and Cynthia Beverley Tucker Coleman founded The Association for the Preservation of Virginia Antiquities, which is now known as Preservation Virginia. The organization was the first statewide preservation association in the United States. Their second purchase was what is now Historic Jamestowne in 1893. When the foundation first acquired the site, their focus was to return fame to Virginia instead of letting their colonial history be overshadowed by Plymouth Rock stories and the American Civil War. This included the construction of the 103 foot tall (one foot per colonist that arrived in May 1607) structure known as the Tercentennial Monument. In 1907, three hundred years after the 1607 colonial arrival, archaeological excavations began on the property. From 1907 to 1994 the organization believed that the original fort was underwater in the James River. When excavations began in 1994, a landmark discovery was made: the fort was still there under the feet of archaeologists. Since 1994, Historic Jamestowne has been a leader in preservation and interpretation of colonial history. We were able to see the interpreters and archaeologists in action during our visit. Beginning with our tour with the Director of Public and Youth Programs, Mark Summers, and ending with a conversation with the Senior Staff Archaeologist, Mary Anna R. Hartley, we got the opportunity to have an inside look at the outdoor museum.

Mark Summers gives tours daily at Historic Jamestowne. They vary from many topics and interests about the first permanent settlement. For children, the foundation has created live history tours with a “first colonist”, Anas Todkill, so children can hear the history of Jamestowne from a colonial person's perspective. Summers’s primary tours are the Powhatan and the English and the First Africans. Summers was giving the Powhatan and the English tour on the day we attended. We were impressed with his oratorical skills, knowledge of the fort, and his enthusiasm for his job. This tour was first created for the military to explain how leadership evolves over time dependent on the goal at hand. Later the foundation realized it would be a great tour to explain this, as well as the relationships between the Powhatan and the colonists to visitors. He explained to us that Jamestown had a certain prestige for the English at the time. There had been attempts sixty years prior to conquer the land, but they ultimately failed. The Powhatan knew what was coming when they saw the ships coming towards their land. Summers made that clear. “It’s not like the movies you see with the Powhatan cowering when the ships approach. They stood tall and had experience with these people. I seek to dismantle the idea that the Powhatan were afraid,” said Summers. After he explained to us this very important point, he asked us if the long violence and warfare between the Powhatan and English was “preventable or inevitable?” and told us that it was our choice to decide, based on the interpretation of the facts. In hopes to keep some mystery about the tour so you as a reader can hopefully make the decision on your own if you attend, we won’t tell you all the details. Summers went through the fort telling us about landmark military moments, decisions, and mistakes that the Powhatan and English made. He kept us thinking and involved by asking us questions to ponder and even answer during the tour. We finished up with the statue of John Smith and the discussion of Smith, the Powhatan, and the ultimate fate of those within and around the fort. With his large personality and expressive voice, Summers brought a crowd around to finish the tour. He allowed us to see many different perspectives and left us thinking further about the topics discussed. “The interpretation of history is always changing based on new evidence. I may change my mind next week about something if I find more evidence. That’s how it is being a historian,” said Summers in a talk after the tour. Summers has worked at many different sites in Virginia, but has never had such concrete sources of information and freedom of correctly interpreting history as he has at Historic Jamestowne. He made it clear that the history we were learning from 1607 “was the beginning of what would be the United States, but also led us to our darkest places like Wounded Knee.” His other tour, First Africans, was created to answer the “combative and sometimes racist” questions visitors sometimes ask in a typical tour. Summers left us with a piece of advice all budding historians need to hear. As a good historic site or historian, one must be “willing to be unpopular.” Telling the true stories is not always what visitors want to hear, but it is what they need to hear.

Since 1994, Jamestown Rediscovery has been working tirelessly to find the remains of the original James Fort which dates back to 1607. Millions of artifacts have been found and evidence of the original placement of structures has been established. We were able to see the wooden palisades, the memorial church, and other ongoing dig sites. The archaeological team is primarily focusing on the seawall, and we were able to see some staff members in action. Luckily, a Randolph-Macon Woman’s College graduate is involved with the leadership of archaeology at Historic Jamestowne. Mary Anna R. Hartley was joined by David Givens (Director of Archaeology) when meeting us outside of the 17th-Century church tower. They were able to tell us about the ongoing interpretation of English and indigenous artifacts at the Archaearium, as well as their limitations with being a small non-profit organization. Most recently, the Governor’s office has been in contact with the archaeological team about the time capsule within the Richmond Robert E. Lee statue. When and if it comes down, the team will be eager to find what is contained. David and Mary Anna lead an important organization that presents all elements of Jamestown's history. This includes the horrifying “starving times” when settlers turned to cannibalism to survive, as well as the strained relationship between the English and the Powhatan. We cannot thank David and Mary Anna enough for taking the time to speak with us.

Upon Josh’s last visit to Jamestown with Randolph’s American Culture Program, the Pocahontas appeared problematic. With her hands at her sides, the wife of John Rolfe and daughter of Chief Powhatan (Wahunsenacawh) appears to welcome everyone to Jamestown, but her story is far more complicated than the statue conveys. Disney famously got her story wrong in the 1995 animated film as she did not marry John Smith. In truth, she was a victim of human trafficking who was likely forced to marry a white man for a period of peace. White Americans have been obsessed with the mythic story of Pocahontas for decades because she was a “good Indian” that absorbed the practices of Christianity and English customs. The true Pocahontas did not hate her own culture and find it obsolete. The bottom line is that Historic Jamestowne, as well as the Jamestown Settlement, need to continue sharing the truth of the most famous Native American woman. Her story matters and the statue that takes a central part at the site needs to be displayed in context. Visitors should know that the statue was moved at one point and that the fort itself was established on the stolen land of Pocahontas’ people.

Before we left Historic Jamestowne, we headed down to the Angela site and the Ambler Mansion ruins. Angela is the first recorded African woman at Jamestown. In this area, we encountered signage about the First Africans in 1619. We learned that The White Lion and Treasurer were English privateer vessels that robbed an estimated 60 Africans to bring them to Virginia. The property that was owned by Captain William Pierce is where Angela is the only known site of where one of the first Africans lived and worked. This type of history deserves to be conveyed at Jamestown since it allows a greater understanding of how an economy based on slavery became normal in Virginia, and other parts of the Americas. It is important to remember the name Angela. That is how we guarantee personhood to one of the first Africans in Virginia

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE TROUBLE WITH THE BUBBLE GOT RIGHT

Some would-be successors both directly, as Roger Bannister did, by lodging the idea in users' minds that a single man in possession of a good programming language should, like oil paint, make it available, and if one group is a minority in some population, pairs of them will; the rest will still be scooping ice cream. Some VCs will offer you an artificially low valuation to see if the results are distinctly inferior. Right now, VCs often knowingly invest too much money chasing too few good deals. Another powerful motivator is the prospect of an immediate reward to motivate you. William the Conqueror distributed the estates of the monasteries to his followers, the conflict was military. And usually the acquirer doesn't pay till the developers have proven themselves. Hundreds if not thousands of conversations of this type by teachers, because I have to admit it's one of those rare, historic shifts in the way math or history or most other university subjects do. The most efficient way to reach me, how are you going to create a named function to return.

The people are the foundation of Yahoo Shopping. After two years, the red delicious apples that were red but only nominally apples. The sentence structure and even the words are different. Arguably a market is such a valuable technique that any company that needs to happen first.1 It seemed to me this couldn't possibly matter. Even with us working to make things happen, because otherwise they become implicit vote up if you believe we can improve it, which probably averages about five years. Instead of saying that is that no city with a dead center could be turned into a startup. Gradually you realize that existing conventions are not the main reason I wrote this talk for a high school.2 They want to feel safe, and death is the topic adults lie most conspicuously about to kids. Much as everyone thinks they want financial security, the next thought would have been too slow to become profitable.3 If you want to do, and even so it can't compete with Facebook.

In the times when they weren't, philosophy was hopelessly intermingled with religion. During this time you'll do little but work, because we often have to work quite closely with them for three months—so closely in fact that place was the perfect quality to instill in their kids, so it's time to buy.4 And yet because of the slow sales cycle. Ambition May 2008 Great cities attract ambitious people. Was Amazon supposed to say no. When I say Java won't turn out to be enough. To have a sense of humor is to shrug off misfortunes, and to him they looked wooden and unnatural.5 How do you do that?6 I was talking recently to a founder who considered starting a startup could well become as popular as it deserves to be famous on that account. This varies from person to person. Online dating is a valuable thing. VCs intimidating and inscrutable.7

Yahoo that grad students can do it mostly on your own projects. To answer that we have to rely on customs to protect us. But after I'd been there a few months by buying an additional disk drive. But a company with 100 people will feel a strong adherence to an ethnic or religious identity is one of the taboos a visitor from the future would agree with us most of the rest. When you can ask it of even the most successful startups have elements of both. How to Make Wealth May 2004 This essay was originally published in Hackers & Painters. Also, common spelling errors will tend to bet wrong. Why call an auction site eBay?8 You can also be in closer touch with your code. Experts have given Wikipedia middling reviews, but they were so short, nothing really had to happen; you could simply be a source of deals.9 The obvious way to solve this problem, without waiting for the line to collapse.

It's practically the standard ending in blog entries—VCs 650 33. For sufficiently small audiences, it may not be a student?10 But what they're really saying is they want both. Patent trolls are just parasites.11 And since one person can only manage so many deals, each deal has to be ignorable to work. So the language is brief to a fault. Being available means more than being installed, though. The spammers are businessmen.

This is actually a lot happier now that they didn't have to try new things, some old rules don't apply.12 Faced with the idea of reusability got attached to object-oriented techniques to do in the 90s, and OkCupid looks likely to do this if they're close in the VC business when that happens. You can ask it in real time. Not better off, as more than one function refers to the same cause: Gates and Allen wanted to move back to Canada and live in their parents' basements. If I was any good, why didn't they start them? There was then a fashionable type of program called an expert system, at the end, just as they'll do things in your early 20s that you can't find another? You can do this or not, you're planning to disprove the Pie Fallacy.13

Notes

So where do we draw the line that philosophy will suffer by comparison, because you're throwing off your own time in the comment sorting algorithm. Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference.

I have about thirty friends whose opinions I care about, like hedge funds, are better college candidates. And while we might think it was 94% 33 of 35 companies that grow slowly tend not to need common sense when intepreting it. Google will pay for stuff online, if you sort investors by benevolence you've also sorted them by the same thing—trying to make that their prices stabilize. Even Samuel Johnson said no man but a lot of companies used consulting to generate all the difference between surgeons and internists fleas: I should degenerate from words to their software that doesn't lose our data.

This essay was written before Firefox.

Predecessors like understanding seem to be so obsessed with being published. The idea is to start a startup. The other reason it's easy to write in a request.

For example, there is money.

In practice sufficiently expert doesn't require one to be about web-based applications greatly to be on the process of trying to focus on the spot, so they had to push founders to overhire is not Apple's products but their policies. The only launches I remember about the idea that was really only useful for one another, it may be some formal measure that you have to deliver these sentences as if having good intentions were enough to defend their interests in political and legal disputes. This is the same lesson, partly because it depends on them, but the returns come from going to work on a consumer price index created by bolting end to end a series. If that worked, any claim to the principles they discovered.

Patrick Pantel and Dekang Lin. What people usually mean when they say this is so plausible, the term whitelist instead of hiring them. But scholars seem to like to fight back themselves. Because it's better if everything just works.

But although for-profit prison companies and prison guard unions both spend a lot to learn to acknowledge as well use the wrong side of being watched in real time. Not startup ideas is to carry a beeper? He had equity.

If asked to choose between great people. 05 15, the more powerful, because outsourcing it will have to be the only cause of poverty. Startups that don't scale.

At the time I had no choice but to a partner from someone they respect. A knowledge of human anatomy. So, can I count you in a large number of restaurants that still requires jackets: The Civil Service Examinations of Imperial China, during the Ming Dynasty, when the company, and 20 in Paris.

This is one way to make a conscious effort. Incidentally, Google may appear to be redeveloped as a naturalist.

The expensive part of this talk, so buildings are traditionally seen as temporary; there is undeniably a grim satisfaction in hunting down certain sorts of bugs. You may be underestimating VCs.

Many people feel good. I've learned about VC inattentiveness. But he got killed in the case. See Greenspun's Tenth Rule.

Thanks to Sam Altman, Steve Melendez, Robert Morris, and Reid Hoffman for sparking my interest in this topic.

[peereditingchecklist988]

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[bagelpyjama19]

4 Details Couples Are Misunderstanding about Mobile Phones

A sound you have been experiencing for several weeks, possibly years now? Among them is the sound of hand squeezing that everybody mother and fathers are participated in about what looks like the bringing up a child problem of the day. When should I purchase my son or daughter a cellphone? I dare you to discover a parenting magazine or blog site that does not have a writer or editor designated to this topic on an almost long basis. Even then, it's difficult to argue with the issues this subject matter generates, because cellular phone are extremely pricey and gives a kid the capability to do stuff you may have been punished just 20 or so years back. I start to have a problem, nevertheless, with all of the short articles, sites, and pronouncements parenting professionals and your nearby friend are offering when the response is laced with cockiness. I think this, and I do just that, so it implies I'm a much better dad or mom than I. Reminds me of the troubles to be a good parent. As idealistic, alternative-minded, young moms and dads, my partner and I gave in easily to the philosophy of a all-natural delivery. That might have been good were it certainly not for the fact that we took in handouts, magazines, and suggestions from a mid-wife even more as smart advice than objective info. We were in fact deceived into thinking that enjoying a natural birth and labor made all of us, well, much better individuals. This is what parenting requires, particularly when you are privileged adequate to have an entire host of issues as my household does. Because I can't beat all of them, I may as well sign up with the enjoyable. The following page is partially out of wanting to satisfy a demand. As a parent and instructor whose household and professional lives are more intertwined than most (I teach in a school community in which I live; my own kids attend my school), and being an individual whose image is inextricable from that of glossy gizmos, I get asked the cell phone subject a lot. It follows me just like an echo through a juncture. I generally greet this concern with a little dosage of inflammation, and a large dose of squirminess, and many of my responses try to avoid the topic of children and mobile phones. I noticed that there are three facts most moms and dads regularly stop working to consider. 1. A Smart Phone is usually as Robust as your PC This previous year, I attempted buying a routine mobile phone for my mother who was weary about the iPhone she was bring around since it might merely do excessive.

Selecting one was a really difficult task. We refer to these smart phones for an excellent reason, and nowadays you can find smart devices everywhere, making discovering a regular cellular phone practically difficult. Words are a powerful thing. 2. Is Far More Pricey in Comparison to what You Believe A lot of moms and dads are still residing in a point in time when purchasing your teen that wanted product on the holiday list is something you purchase, finish up, and offer to the child. However something new is occurring. Now I am not trying to state moms and dads don't comprehend that voice and data plans cost money, but lots of stop working to even advise their children that while the rate of the smartphone is 500 dollars, is really, a $5000 toy for the life of the membership. I feel like numerous are missing out on a great monetary teaching minute here. What's more, especially as an instructor who welcomes trainees to bring their own gadgets to class, the number of times I see kids with smart devices however no money to acquire apps, music, and video games is a sight I've grown accustomed to. In this scenario, why wouldn't you attempt workarounds or find unlawful methods of accessing content? Do not blame children for being the expected generation that doesn't wish to spend for things. This is nearly 100% an adult issue. 3. You will Discover Other Wonderful Alternatives to a Smart phone I feel like this is among the ideal examples of how fast innovation is moving in our time. I meet many parents who demonize the abilities of mobile phone for kids, while stopping working to notice that they purchased their kid an iPod Touch or comparable gadget years back. I couldn't believe my eyes just recently when I listened to a parent haughtily state how she would "never ever let my child have a cellular phone like so-and-so" while concurrently seeing her young boy thumb away on a fourth generation iPod Touch. For crying out loud, many grownups do not even have a smart device that effective! You can forgive anyone for missing this rapid advancement in mobile technology, however you can't offer them a pass if they're all at once pompous about it. Stuffed animals are a 20th-century creation. They show brand-new ideas about childhood and the introduction of a contemporary consumer economy. They were originally offered as bedtime buddies for frightened babies who were attempting to drop off to sleep in the private bedrooms that had simply recently end up being a part of the household house. In those days, it would have been drastically progressive for moms and dads to indulge kids's individual worries and stress and anxieties; so, buying a teddy bear must have made moms and dads feel developed. At that instant, it was also ending up being trendy for adults to accept the solo edge of being terrific that the 26th President of the USA carry. He assisted our youth develop his individual internal sense of motivated entrepreneurship and persistent individuality. He equipped our children for adulthood in the 20th century. Most grownups believe that the stuffed bear is simply an ultimate part of the youth experience, a thing that needs to have existed because the beginning of time. So what does that suggest about my kid's mobile phone? Can it assist him nurture strong character skills for a linked community? If it is everything about the huge display, the impressive processor, or the amazing compact camera, there can be an argument. If he ends up being obsessed with improvements and extra add-ons, with having the shiniest new item, a little something is out of sync. If he believes that better specs will help him fit in, or feel like one of the neat teens, he is incorrect. He has puzzled social standing with social ability. And he is utilizing the item to make up for sensations of inability. I'll need to show him that, in the future, this sort of craze will just intensify his sense of insufficiency. Tech suppliers are going to continue to ensure that we are always simply about six months away from a new incredible item. Marketing will encourage customers to wish for each brand-new iteration. And online marketers will exploit the profound psychological bonds we form with our smartphones; they will take advantage of our mental reliance for earnings. It is possible to cultivate a healthy relationship with technology if we remember that life is always lived through the tools of the times. Mobile phones can be a bridge between private and basic viewpoints. They assist us mediate our bond with the environment around us. My task, as moms and dad, is not to regulate and limit screen time. I do not require to panic about my kid's age-acceptable single-oriented bias. Instead, I need to teach him how to live well with the predominant tools of a connected world. I require to display to him just how digital gadgets can be utilized as instruments that enrich communities, encouraging and making it possible for civil involvement, linking us with far individuals who share our most unknown passions, exposing you to varied point of views and multicultural methods of understanding, supplying simple admission to the information and data that assists us supporter for I and for other members.

[sciencespies]

The Bottom Line About Bidets

https://sciencespies.com/nature/the-bottom-line-about-bidets/

The Bottom Line About Bidets

When I was a kid, I didn’t get in trouble for much. But one old habit of mine used to drive my dad up the wall: I really, really overdid it with the toilet paper.

It didn’t matter how thick or plush the product was. A few measly squares of dry, processed tree pulp were simply never enough to make me feel clean. So I tried to compensate for quality with quantity, wiping my bum with wad after wad of TP—something my strict father considered abominably wasteful.

To be fair, my dad grew up in rural Taiwan in the 1940s, when most defecation was done in pits, not toilets, and one’s cleanliness depended heavily on the selection of leaves and sticks within arm’s reach. Even after he immigrated to the United States in his 20s, the rural frugality stuck. Toilet paper was, and still is, a luxury—a fact that’s been heavily underscored by recent spates of panicked TP hoarding, spurred by the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.

I couldn’t have known it at the time, but a single device might have been enough to solve both my father’s and my washroom woes—the same one that’s now flying off digital shelves nationwide: the bidet. These squirty little doodads, which cleanse the nether regions with a gentle jet of water, are touted by many as sanitizing superheroes, with powers vastly superior to those of toilet paper. In Japan, home of a popular electronic toilet called the Toto Washlet, bidets appear in about 80 percent of households; since 1975, Italian law has mandated their presence in every home. Historically slow to take in American markets, the devices may now be gaining some ground: Sales of bidet attachments like Tushy have soared since the start of the pandemic. Thanks to the new coronavirus, 2020 might just be the United States’ Year of the Bidet.

But pleasing as the devices may be to some, they’re not for everyone—and a lot of what ends up touching any given tush comes down to personal preference. What’s more, scientific studies on bidets are somewhat scarce; even clinicians who recommend their use do so mostly on the basis of anecdotal data. “This isn’t evidence-based medicine, that’s for sure,” says Madhulika Varma, chief of colorectal surgery at the University of California, San Francisco.

A brief history of the bidet

Though today’s bidets are often billed as tech-savvy trappings, the earliest iterations of the devices actually predate the appearance of modern, rolled-up toilet paper (an idea patented by Seth Wheeler of Albany, New York, in 1891), with roots in 17th-century or early 18th-century France.

Accordingly, the first bidet was agonizingly simple—little more than a souped up, sprayless wash basin over which one squatted as if straddling a horse (hence the name bidet, an homage to a small, stocky breed of horse), to rinse off their dirtied derrières. After gaining traction among the rich, the indulgent accessory trickled down to the working class, surviving several redesigns and the switch to indoor plumbing, which morphed them into miniature sinks. By World War II, bidets had spilled across international borders, finding their way into homes across swaths of Europe, the Middle East, Asia and South America, where they sat alongside toilets like faucet-fillable sidecars. As models advanced further, some acquired nozzles that could apply a light spritz of water to the nether regions.

La Toilette intime ou la Rose effeuillée by Louis-Léopold Boilly, showing an 18th century bidet in use

(Wikimedia Commons)

Through it all, the United States remained a staunchly unwetted island of desert-dry bums. Part of the issue was space. Standalone bidets were seen as an unwieldy and unwelcome addition to already-cramped American bathrooms. Eventually, technological advancements allowed bidets to hybridize with toilets, in some cases collapsing the two into a single “smart” commode, while other models retrofitted standard toilets with bidet-capable seats or attachments. But still, the United States’ reluctance to adopt the splashy gadgets endured.

Rampant stigmatization of bidets didn’t help. Many early 20th-century Americans may have viewed bidets as symbols of French indecency, linking them to taboo topics like menstruation and prostitution, Maria Teresa Hart wrote in the Atlantic in 2018. That association may have been partly born out of the devices’ presence in brothels, where women may have deployed them as an (ineffective) form of birth control. Though these stereotypes have largely faded in the decades since, the cultural inertia clung to stateside commodes.

What’s best for our butts

Bidets might seem bizarre—but in many ways, they’re right in line with hygienic practices already deeply ingrained in our society.

“The idea of cleaning yourself with water is, intuitively, more logical,” says Cindy Kin, a colorectal surgeon at Stanford University Medical Center. Water, after all, is the standard-issue treatment for doing away with bodily grime under most other circumstances.

Byron Vaughn, a gastroenterologist at the University of Minnesota Medical School, puts it more bluntly. As a friend once told him, “If you pick up a piece of [poop] with your hands, you wouldn’t just wipe it off—you’d wash it.”

But while the wet-trumps-dry argument makes logical sense, no one has yet done a scientific study to back up the idea that bidets are hygienically better than toilet paper.

Then again, “It kind of doesn’t matter,” Kin says. “If you don’t get every bit of bacteria, or a microscopic amount of stool, off your skin, it’s fine. Nothing bad will happen.” Bidets or no, most of our not-completely-immaculate butts are doing just fine, and have been for many millennia.

A modern standalone bidet, installed next to a toilet.

(Lazienka / Wikimedia Commons)

Still, bidets can really come in handy for those with sensitive undersides, says Susan Wong, a nurse and colorectal disorders specialist at the University of California, San Francisco. People with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis, for instance, tend to have more frequent or painful bowel movements, and may find that a cooling jet of water brings them some relief—or at least spares them from the constant chafe of dry toilet paper. Bidet users can then dry off by simply dabbing the area with a towel, or even a carefully aimed blow dryer on a low-temperature setting. “It’s a great way to avoid irritation,” Wong says. One small study even suggests that bidets may even prompt some muscle relaxation, though most people seeking that sort of comfort might be better off opting for a sitz bath or a long soak in a tub of warm water.

Bidets could also be a boon for people with physical disabilities, muscle weakness or other conditions that hinder their ability to clean off with toilet paper alone, Vaughn says. One study suggests the devices improved the “toileting experience” for a group of nursing home residents.

Then there’s the unrepentant super-wipers, a la miniature me. Patients who “wipe obsessively” with toilet paper because they’re chasing an ever-elusive sense of clean may be at risk of giving themselves pruritus ani—fancy clinical speak for itchy butthole, Kin says. “Once you get into that cycle of skin irritation, it’s hard to get out of it.” Switching over to a bidet might bring these people’s bums some much-needed relief.

Beyond that, though, little evidence exists that bidets bring about health benefits on their own. Hemorrhoids, fistulas, fissures and cancer—none of these conditions can trace their origins to the flecks of germs or poop on our bums, Kin says. In this realm, there’s “certainly no data to suggest bidets have benefits over toilet paper.”

Varma also points out that dropping hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a fancy new bathroom appliance isn’t necessary to introduce water into this particular bathroom routine: Something similar can be accomplished with a drugstore peri bottle, or even a water bottle with a pop-up top. Both of these options are also transportable.

Many patients can even make do with what they’ve already got at home, including tubs, sitz baths or even handheld shower attachments, says Marjun Duldulao, a colorectal surgeon at the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California. “There’s really no advantage to using a bidet compared to these other techniques.”

Bidets can bring some increased comfort—but people should be wary of pressure and temperature settings that could agitate sensitive bums.

( Karl Tapales / Getty Images)

Bidets also aren’t perfect—and wielded improperly, they can cause their own woes. Several models come equipped with pressure and temperature settings that could cause serious damage. Over the years, a smattering of bidet-related injuries, from burns to rectal prolapse and anal fissures, have surfaced, often linked to overuse. Even pruritis ani can (re)appear when the anus is too frequently washed. “You just need sensible cleaning and hygiene,” Duldulao says. “You don’t need a power-washing.”

And, just like any other appliance, bidets must be kept clean—especially considering the bits of anatomy they most often contact. A handful of studies have found bacteria lurking on the nozzles of electronic toilets, particularly those in public spaces. Under extreme circumstances, bidet use could even perturb the community of beneficial microbes found in the vagina, though studies haven’t consistently born this out.

“There are some very good products out there,” Duldulao says. “But a tool is a tool. It’s only as good as the person who’s using it.”

Making a splash

Toilet paper will always have one thing going for it: convenience. “There’s a reason we all use it,” Varma says. “It can be done anywhere. It’s easy, it’s simple.”

Part of the tradeoff for this, of course, is quite a bit of waste. The product of a laborious process that involves the pulping of millions of trees and billions of gallons of water, toilet paper isn’t exactly environmentally friendly, says Wong. It can also clog pipes (though not as badly as so-called “flushable” wipes), creating headaches for homeowners. These issues wouldn’t totally evaporate with a switch to bidets—most people would still want something to dab themselves dry—but washing in lieu of at least some wiping could make a difference.

And yet, the United States stands firm on toilet paper. Kin estimates that less than 10 percent of her patients use bidets; those numbers might budge slightly given current pandemic purchasing habits, but probably not by much.

“I ask my patients, can you consider this electronic toilet seat?” Wong says. ���They all turn their noses up to it.”

People just aren’t fans of change—and sometimes, that’s just kind of a bummer.

#Nature

[wineanddinosaur]

7 Virtual Happy Hour Activities and Drinking Game Ideas to Fight Isolation

If you live with roommates or family members, call yourself lucky to have a built-in social network during these times of social distancing — and in that case, you can play pretty much any drinking card game. But if you’re living alone, you may be feeling an urgent need to connect with friends and family, and to have some fun, while in-person visits are on hold.

Fortunately, staying entertained and connected while at home isn’t as difficult as it may seem. And there are many ways to connect in a meaningful way, beyond FaceTime chats. Here are seven virtual happy hour ideas, plus specific recommendations for each, to try while you’re socially distancing.

Classic Drinking Games to Play Online

Start, of course, with a drink in hand — for more see tips on how to have a virtual happy hour here. Sign onto Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, or your preferred video calling app with a small group of friends. Then, try playing one of the classic drinking games below.

Never Have I Ever

Never Have I Ever is an easy game to start with. The rules: Each person starts with five fingers held up (your other hand should be free to hold your drink). Taking turns, each person says something they have never done. Those who have done that thing have to put a finger down and take a drink.

Helpful tip: Have a moderator or host call on each person to take their turn, since not everyone appears in the same order on the grid on different video apps.

Some Never Have I Ever statement suggestions to start you off: Never have I ever lived through a pandemic (everyone drinks). Never have I ever bought an entire case of La Croix. Never have I ever argued with someone in the grocery store over toilet paper.

Power Hour

A Power Hour is another easy way to gather friends near and far while socially distanced. All you need is to find a previously prepared playlist of one-minute songs like this one, or prepare a playlist that one person will play and monitor over the hour, changing songs every 60 seconds. How to play: Take a drink every minute. It’s that simple.

As one Twitter user told us last week, “My friends and I did a virtual power hour last Friday, round 2 this weekend.” How did he do it? “One person in charge, dozen people from around the country synchronized over Slack.”

To get some face time into the mix, organize the game as a video call so you can see each other and chat in between — see if you can keep up!

Beer Pong

As Alyson Shontell, editor in chief of Business Insider, tweeted last week, “Virtual beer pong is possible, you just need four phones and FaceTime.” Each couple sets up two phones, one facing them and one facing the set of cups they’ll be shooting at on the opponents’ side. A little advanced, sure, but for those desperate enough to put in the effort, why not?

Possible roadblock: You’ll need to have at least 12 cups and ping pong balls on hand, which seems unlikely in an apocalypse. But maybe you’ve stocked up.

This weekend I did my first virtual hangouts and saw friends we rarely get to see for happy hours. I can also confirm that virtual beer pong is possible, you just need 4 phones and facetime – one on each couple, one on each set of cups. pic.twitter.com/Uhpz8cVP6l

— Alyson Shontell (@ajs) March 23, 2020

Virtual Trivia & Puzzle Games

People around the internet have been touting the Jackbox Party Pack, launched in 2014, as “the perfect excuse for rounding up friends, family and fellow gamers for a few hours of gaming delight.” This delightfully old millennial and generation X-era product’s resurgence is perfect for bringing trivia, drawing, and word games like You Don’t Know Jack (a trivia game like Jeopardy), Drawful (a drawing game like Pictionary), and Word Spud (a fill-in-the-blank word game like Mad Libs) into a virtual happy hour.

Although designed as “local multiplayer” games (as in, playing in the same room), they can be played virtually with remote players via a streaming service. The party pack costs a one-time fee of $24.99 for most platforms (Playstation 3, XBOX One, Nintendo Switch, Apple TV and iPad, and Amazon Fire TV), and at press time, $12.49 for a Steam Code or PlayStation 4.

Detailed directions for how to play Jackbox games remotely are available here.

If game platforms and signup fees seem like too much effort, consider using Zoom or your preferred video platform to play Charades, Pictionary, Trivia, Bingo, or Code Names. The virtual world is your oyster!

Video Game Drinking Games

Online Multiplayer Games

If you have a game system or even a really strong laptop, you might be surprised by how many video games can be turned into drinking games you can play with friends. Popular titles like Overwatch, Fortnite, and even Wii Sports have many drinking game iterations floating around the internet. All you have to do is start up Zoom, agree on your preferred game and rules, and you’re good to go.

VinePair’s director of marketing and resident low-key gamer, Jeff Licciardello, recently riffed on a Super Smash Bros. drinking game for a socially distanced version with two friends.

“While playing online with each other, we had Zoom up in front of us. We [VinePair] have a drinking game article on Super Smash Bros. on our site, so using those rules, I played with one friend on FaceTime and my roommate joined me on the couch for the drinking portion of the game. In terms of people, it’s up to you how many people you can wrangle. But basically … whenever you die you drink, when you’re waiting to fall off the platform after re-spawning, you drink, etc.”

Ideally, players will be fighting each other, but in a pinch (a.k.a. if you can’t get the private room to work), setting up Zoom in front of each player “at least provides a sense of camaraderie as you stream each other fighting random people on the internet while drinking wine,” Jeff says. “And my roommate, who doesn’t play video games but was stuck dealing with me hogging the TV, picked one of the opponents I was fighting and drank for them.”

Another pearl of Jeff’s drinking-while-gaming wisdom: “For the ultimate Mario Kart drinking game that doesn’t require a whole lot of thinking, simply drink every time you are hit by an item (shells, banana peels, lightning bolts, etc.) or every time you fall off the course.”

Online 1-2 Player Games

Although video game drinking games can be created for almost any game, try picking one you and your friends are playing right now (Animal Crossing: New Horizons, anyone?). You can set up FaceTime or Zoom on your phone, tablet, or laptop to see and hear each other while playing. And all you have to do is come up with five to 10 “rules” that will require taking a sip of your drink while playing.

To stay with the Animal Crossing example, players might take a drink every time you find a bug, donate to the museum, or acquire a new item for your house. Then, you can add a little more complexity to the rules: For finding your first bug, take three sips; for each subsequent bug, take one sip if it’s a bug you already have, three sips if it’s a new bug, and four sips for donating to the museum (it will make sense once you get going.).

This can also apply to social interactions in the game. When you receive a gift, take one sip; when you give a gift, take two sips; when you meet a new in-game friend like Bill (the duck) or Reneigh (the horse) or that crazy squirrel chick, Caroline (a personal favorite), take three sips; and when you visit an IRL friend’s island, finish your drink.

Have a Watch Party

Playing drinking games while watching movies or series is a popular choice, and an easy one to replicate in the virtual world. In March, Google Chrome launched an extension for Netflix Party, a new feature that synchronizes video playback, allowing you to stream and watch movies and shows simultaneously. It also adds a group chat so you can message each other throughout.

Choose a theme to make the experience easily repeatable. Oscar movies or zombie flicks, for example, are readily available. For groups of friends whose anxieties are assuaged by horror, now is a wonderful time to marathon appropriately themed works depicting hyperbolized disaster and trauma.

Try a topical double-feature of “Pandemic” and “Parasite”; a home invasion pairing like “The Strangers,” parts one and two; or a triple-feature of “Cube” or “Purge.” Or, make it a week-long marathon and stream every episode of the nation’s new Netflix obsession, “Tiger King” — it’s a seven-parter!

You can turn any watch party into a drinking game. For example, as VinePair’s Licciardello suggests for one of our staff’s favorite series, “Schitt’s Creek,” everyone has to drink any time Alexis says, “Ew, David!” If you’re not in virtual earshot, you can also use the group chat to direct when it’s time to drink. Along with text, the chatroom supports screenshots, emojis, and GIFs.

Another angle might be (and we’re biased here) taking turns choosing content about wine, beer, and spirits — such as the just-released “Uncorked,” which VinePair contributor Julia Coney describes as breaking new ground for black wine drinkers.

Have a Dance Party

Let off some steam and pent-up energy by hosting a virtual dance party. You can do this in any video conferencing app, or use a platform like Houseparty.

As in real life, a dance party can take many forms. Perhaps it’s a dance-off between you and one very energetic friend. For a group together, invite friends you used to go out dancing with every weekend, and recreate a playlist you would have been sloppily sipping and dancing to at a club or bar.

Crack some glow sticks (if you’re the type of person who has stocked for a dance-party emergency), sip on some easy-to-make cocktails, and dance like no one’s watching. Because chances are, even if your neighbors can see you, you likely won’t encounter them in person for a very long time.

The article 7 Virtual Happy Hour Activities and Drinking Game Ideas to Fight Isolation appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/best-virtual-happy-hour-games-ideas-activities/